#which makes sense because of the time gap
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do you not write for ambessa 👉🏻👈🏻? cuz your sevika headcanons are *chef’s kiss*
ambessa general headcanons 𝜗𝜚
WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, implied voyeurism, body worship, oral, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, implied age gap, slave/master if you squint, wlw!
prayers have been answered ^^
SFW
Come, come. Let's talk about it.
I don't think Ambessa strikes anyone as a lovely kind of person. Yes, she is incredibly charismatic, and might even be the love-bombing type, but Ambessa seems to clearly reserve "love" for those closest to her. Well, her version of it anyway.
She won't just walk around with her heart on her shoulder, she's a warrior for hell's sake. And we're all familiar with her opinions on becoming weak at the hands of love.
If you've managed to genuinely catch Ambessa's interest-- not just for her personal gain or a quick fuck-- then you've got a headache coming your way. Like, a migraine.
I want to really emphasize the love bombing because regardless of whether Ambessa is aware of it or not, the relationship will feel this way for a long time. There's a pattern. She's affectionate one day; showering you with praises and soft kisses, sunrise to sunset. You'll have to want for nothing. Gifts and trips, all treated to you by hers truly. Wining and dining, a good fuck. And though all of this is displayed in private, you'll be enamored. Which is exactly what she wants you to be.
And then, she'll be cold and standoffish. Uncaring of your presence or too busy to be bothered. When Ambessa handles business, there's no such thing as making time for you. You'll just have to pacify yourself until she's ready to be bothered with you again.
It'll take you a while to realize, but when you do you can't miss it; she's got an avoidant attachment. She wants to love you and to be loved, but the moment she receives it she's pulling away. She's looking for flaws in you, anything that'll convince herself that you're bad for her, to leave you where she found you.
Constantly creating exit strategies, thinking of petty little arguments to start for no reason, or an insecurity of yours to pick at. She was trained to fight, it's her strong suit in any sense. It's always easier for her to disconnect and dismiss her feelings than to just sit and talk it out. And you'll want nothing to do with her, which is also what she wants.
She just be losing the plot, I fear.
Unfortunately, cycles like this take time to break. Fortunately, she's not going to let you leave! So you have all the time in the world! <3
When you bring this to her knowledge, you'll really have to bring it. Sit her down and let her know she's not moving until she's heard every word that leaves your mouth, wagging a painted finger in her face. And she'll humor you because you've managed to make an impression with her.
She will sit, patiently and leisurely, man spread and all, watching you fuss her out throwing your hands every which way and yelling. And she will have the softest, fondest smile on her face. She'll know you love her at this moment.
She will let you say your piece without interruptions. In fact, she's so quiet that you have to question if she's even listening a few times. And when you catch sight of that little smile you just pause, dumbfounded. And she'll just humor your expression, urging you to continue with a curt wave of her hand.
After this occasion, Ambessa will be relentless. In her mind, anyone willing to fuss her out the way that you have must truly love her. So now, she knows no limits. In the past, Ambessa would have you stay put with some guards while she handled her day-to-day tasks. But now? You tag along with her everywhere.
In meetings, Ambessa has you perched on her lap. Touching you mindlessly as she discusses possible strategies and looks over speeches. Rubbing your thighs, your neck, your arms. You'll find it awkward at first--such a public display of affection-- but you'll have no choice but to get used to it.
She's hand-feeding you everything. Holding your cups to your lips, licking frosting off your mouth. It's a starch contrast to the dynamic your relationship used to have. But, you suppose you shouldn't be surprised at her shamelessness, she's always been a bit... eccentric.
And now, you don't even have to ask her to share her feelings, in fact, you have to tell her that some things are a little TMI because she wants to share everything with you. Everything. EVERYTHING.
Secrets don't exist, she's an open book. Whatever's on her mind, you're going to hear about it. Which in most cases, you can appreciate. She'll open up about her past and all of the things that have led her up to this point. She'll speak of her daughter, Mel, expressing a regret that she's never opened up to her about. And she'll talk about the effects you have on her personally.
These moments are heartwarming, cause it solidifies your bond.
Undoubtably, Ambessa is a very possessive woman. She's very adamant about expressing to everyone that you belong to her. Not necessarily in a verbal sense, but people will know. They'll know when they see the lingering touches she leaves, the elongated glances, the kisses. Again she's very shameless, so don't let these things take you by surprise.
She's also very protective. She does like to have you tag along with her everywhere, but every now and then she'll leave you with Rictus while she goes to handle more trying situations. You know, the ones where she may potentially commit a war crime or two.
She'd much rather you be locked away than have to protect you on the battlefield. Though she's positive you know of her capabilities, she wouldn't like to have you see her in that light regardless. She'll go to great, violent, bloody lengths to keep you safe.
Besides her shameless physical touch, Ambessa likes to show her love with flashy gifts and large bouquets of flowers. She likes to collect things from all the places she's been to gift to you; know that every time she's out, she thinks of what you might like to have.
She also likes to share knowledge. She finds that to be one of the biggest displays of love; sharing one's knowledge of the world and life. Things you can can learn from. She will really appreciate and admire the fact that you look up to her as a mentor, and especially loves it when you ask for her opinion or perspective. It shows that you rely on her.
And she likes to be relied on!
She has a tendency to just walk around naked, and not for any particular reason other than the fact that it’s, “Comfortable, sweet thing.” It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, if she has leisure time to waste, she’ll be naked. And she likes to be watched; “I worked hard for this body, honey..” She’ll say, flexing her arms at you.
She takes great pride in her form and in her strength. She likes to lift you up randomly just to showcase it. She’ll always pick you up when she hugs you, gripping your thighs loosely or not at all. You could honestly just hang onto her, dropping all of your weight. It wouldn’t make a difference.
She never fails to fluster you at any given chance. Every time you’re having a conversation she’s holding the strongest eye contact, chuckling to herself when you avoid her gaze. She'll randomly grip your chin, or caress your face. Sometimes twirling the hair by your ears. She likes to see you get all flustered because of her. It genuinely makes her day. That's why she does it so much.
She's old! Lol, you'll have to keep her updated with the new slang and terms of endearment. If you're someone who incorporates a lot of slang into your vocabulary, you'll often receive sideways glances of confusion before she stares at you and mutters, "...What?"
NSFW
I’m going to say it again; she’s shameless.
She has no qualms. Like, at all.
She loves to put on a show. She loves to be ogled at, it strokes her— already large enough— ego. More often than not, she’ll shove you down onto the bed, and with a calculated slowness, she’ll begin to undress, maintaining eye contact with you throughout. Her eyes always smoldering with a mix of passion and a touch of dominance.
And she’ll study you closely for your reaction, loving the look of pure awe on your face as she stands nude before you. Her voice, a low and husky murmur, would echo through the room, "See something you like, my dear?" and she’ll hum in approval at the soft, “Yes, Ma’am” she receives in return.
Ambessa appreciates a well mannered slut.
Most times, Ambessa will request that you massage her, all over. She loves it; It fulfills her desire to be worshipped. She loves to watch you take your time and rub every part of her, smirking down at you as you get lower and lower.
Ambessa will lean back slightly, her expression transitioning into a devilish smirk. Her free hand slowly tracing a path along the contours of your body. She watches you like a hawk, a smirk ever present on her lips.
When you start to kiss down her body a contented sigh will escape her lips. She’ll run her fingers through your hair, gently but firmly guiding your movements. Her head will tilt back, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. Each touch, each kiss, draws out a low and guttural sound from her throat, her desire evident in the way her body responds to your ministrations.
And the hand in your hair will tighten as she shoves your face in between her legs, a knowing glint in her eyes, “You know what to do.” And her body tenses as you start to eat her pussy, the hand in your hair tightening almost painfully as she groans.
She requires eye contact; she wants you to watch her come undone on your mouth. It’s like a reward, no? Watching the effect you have on her. She wouldn’t want you to miss the way she leans her head back, her hips rutting against your tongue at a steady pace, glancing down at you as she murmurs, “Good girl.”
And she won’t miss the hand that you trail down to your pussy, toying with yourself impatiently. A leisurely chuckle will fall from her lips, “Patience, Darling.” She’ll always say, pulling your hair to angle your head just right so she can fuck your face better. “Patience.”
And soon her breathing will turn shallow, Ambessa's grip on your hair impossibly intensifying, her fingers tangling in your locks as she guides your movements. Her control momentarily slips as she succumbs to the pleasure you're giving her.
And when she cums? She’ll pull your head back playing idly with the mess on your face, “Tsk… now you’re all dirty,” She’ll mutter, before leaning down and licking it off your chin. She’ll meet your lips in a sloppy mess of a kiss, groaning softly at the taste. And when she pulls back she’ll admire the look on your face, taking a mental photo of it. “Pretty…”
I think Ambessa would have a thing for teasing you. She likes to put you in uncomfortable positions. Make you put yourself on display in risky places. Loves touching you under tables. It just warms her core to see you so flustered, really riles her up. Especially so if you start crying, she’ll just squeeze your cheeks in her hand and snicker at you, “Ohhhh, you poor thing,” She’ll chuckle, and peck your puckered lips.
I already mentioned that Ambessa loves it when you’re well-mannered, it’ll quite literally get you anything your heart desires. You ask her nicely to make up cum? She’ll do it in a heartbeat. “With my mouth, or with my hands?” She’ll raise a brow, “Or with something else?” You use your manners with Ambessa like a good girl and she’ll be at your beck and call.
Laying you on your stomach softly to pull your ass in the air and eating your pussy until you squirt all over her mouth, and she won’t let a drop go to waste. She’ll trail her thick tongue from your clit all the way to your ass and back, over and over and over, circling the hole playfully before spitting onto it, the spit trailing back down. It’s truly a beautiful sight, she thinks.
Do you want her to fuck you with her fingers? They’re thick. You’ll hardly need two of them to satiate that churning in your core. Perhaps you want a massage of your own? Want her to suck on your pretty feet? Maybe you want her to talk you through your orgasm and praise you softly in your ear while you cum on her fingers? Everything all at once? No request is too far for Ambessa. She likes to worship her pretty thing; and loves to appreciate your body. Especially when it’s well deserved.
But when you’re ill mannered? Ambessa will show you exactly how she became a warlord.
Don’t expect any pleasure from this outcome. It’ll be hard. It’ll be brutal. And you’ll wish you’d never mouthed off at her the way you did. “What did we learn?” She’ll growl, above you, slapping your ass with a powerful force, “Quickly.” She’ll order.
And she’ll hum as you blubber loudly about being respectful, but her abuse will not stop. She will continue to keep you over her knee, slapping at your ass and thighs relentlessly. And when she’s done with that? She’ll have you on your knees, facing up at her with your hands folded politely over your lap. And you’d better pay extra attention to your posture or she’ll punish you for that too.
You’re never prepared for the swat to your cheek. “What are we not doing in the future?” She won’t falter at the cry that leaves your mouth, her gaze stone-cold and unwavering. She’ll swat your cheek again, slap, “I said, quickly.” And again, she won’t be moved by your blubbering until she’s satisfied-- until she believes you’ve learned a lesson.
And she’ll always be sure to pacify you until you’ve calmed down, offering you water and comfort, but still being stern enough that you remember your place the next time around. She’ll be sure to build you up just as she’s broken you down, affirming you gently. And you’ll fall back into her, blubbering your apologies.
She’ll conceal a smirk.
She loves to see you cry.
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taglist: @opropheticsoul
#ambessa#ambessa medarda#ambessa arcane#ambessa x reader#ambessa smut#lesbian#wlw#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane league of legends#league of legends#arcane x reader#ao3
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I understand the miscommunication now. However, there is a difference between saying "I never played the 2000s games that gave closure to ShTH, and I like how SXSG handled things" and
I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.
If you missed out on the games, fair enough, it happens. Personally, I played Heroes and ShTH some years before Adventure 2, and it shaped my perception of Shadow. But if you put it in an objective way, as in, "Shadow never got proper closure before", then I would say "no, he did, multiple times, here's proof - you may not like the writing, but it still happened".
I didn't even talk about '06 itself because I am not going to think about its place in the canon timeline lol. But in a meta sense, it counts for my point: we players experienced Shadow's story and how it precisely exists to show us "look, he has moved on, he can no longer be swayed or manipulated, he knows who he is and what he's fighting for". Sure, the events with Mephiles didn't happen or he forgot, but that game still counted as closure to us after playing ShTH.
I really like that Shadow Gens doesn't emphasize his promise to Maria - he's not doing this out of obligation, but because he chooses to.
It's true that Shadow doesn't talk about his old promise, it's good and shows that he has grown. To be fair, though, another reason for this could be that the story is much more focused on Shadow's biology and ties to Black Doom than his relationship with the world (plus, it wouldn't make sense for him to tell Maria he had promised her to make people happy when she hasn't died yet lol). And, this is an issue I have with the part where Shadow briefly contemplates to stop Rouge and use Chaos Control to freeze Maria and Gerald in White Space: the fact that he has to be told to let them go is still, conceptually, Shadow needing Maria as moral guidance.
As for the mandate bit, I'm aware Boom isn't canon and Forces shows Shadow cares about his team (shout out to their banter in Team Sonic Racing for backing it up as well); I was more referring to the general 2010's vibe. Once you get past 2010, Shadow appears in Generations, where he just wants to "finish" Sonic… And then nothing until Forces, with everything extracurricular from Boom and IDW (while not being strictly canon) pointing to Sega and the writers… not treating his character well.
I disagree. I don't think it makes sense to talk about "general vibe", when the list of Shadow's appearances in the 2010s is so small they can be dissected one by one. Once you remove Boom, which again doesn't count at all as Boom Shadow is a different character from main Shadow (or you might as well argue that the 2010s as a whole turned Knuckles into an illiterate Kronk-like idiot or Eggman into a softie who is frenemies with Sonic), his portrayals in the games are generally decent, with perhaps the one exception of Free Riders where everyone was a dick for no reason lol. Speaking of Gens, sure Shadow challenges Sonic out of nowhere, but then he cheers for him to defeat the Eggmen and then even sticks around for his birthday, so he's not just "the Vegeta" as he has been described since then.
We can argue that Shadow was used very sparingly in the 2010s, which is true. The 2010s were a response to the backlash of the 2000s, and one of the complaints was precisely that Shadow stole the spotlight, along with all the "shitty friends", so they all took several seats back. The reason I insisted that Boom and IDW don't count is that they aren't canon, they shouldn't be used as proof to talk about the character, and they aren't proof of how SEGA sees the character - although they certainly didn't have an iron grip on the external writers except for some basic guidelines, and maybe they should have. I think we are still feeling the consequences of the series stumbling 10 years ago (that 2013-2017 gap was painful), and the fandom growing sour because of it.
I don't think SXSG is a bad game. I have a couple of complaints with Shadow's writing, but they mostly stem with how the story uses him, other than that I can see they tried to make him sound like he did in '06 and he works. My issue is wider: I would like these characters to move on and stop clinging onto games that are by now older than the average fan. We had Frontiers which mostly retreaded character arcs that we have seen in Sonic Adventure, way back in 1998; and now we got SXSG, which was a long, long way to tell us "hey remember ShTH? Now Shadow is tired of BD's shit. Here's a reminder of that game's twist regarding Shadow's biology, but he doesn't care. Also he still misses Maria." So I'm here like... the older games are there. Shadow's multi-game arc is there. Couldn't you have just re-released them? Couldn't you have announced a sale for SA2 on Steam? Or ported Heroes and ShTH, which would have been appreciated by a good chunk of the fandom? SXSG may be fun to play and a testament of ST learning lessons on level design and gameplay style, but the game itself was not the point of the experience, right? It's for newcomers attracted by the incoming movie to get an idea of who Shadow is. I understand and respect that I am not the target audience here. But that doesn't mean the older games are suddenly invalid or should be forgotten.
i guess tl;dr please port shth and battle and then let's write new scenarios for the cast
(Spoilers for Shadow Generations)
I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.
By the end of Adventure 2, he remembered his promise to Maria and made his choice to save the world, but then he "dies".
When Heroes revives him, he doesn't remember any of that.
His namesake game (and I say this as gently as possible), as cool as the multiple endings were, feels so unsatisfying. We get to see Shadow's potential for good and evil, sure, but then the true canon ending comes, and it doesn't specify what he did (or even what exactly he remembered about his past) to get there, and then he just decides not to let his past control him. Which isn't a terrible direction on paper, but the symbolism of him literally throwing away a picture of his family just seems... Like the opposite of what made this character appealing in the first place?
And from there, the games kept giving mixed signals. Sonic '06 shows how deeply he and Team Dark come to care for each other, but then its events get literally removed from the timeline. Sega begins to pretend that Team Dark aren't even friends in their mandates for a while (despite the fact they clearly care for each others' wellbeing before anybody else's). Shadow becomes practically a popsicle stick puppet for "angry, serious, violent rival", and they never feel a need to explain his motivations or reactions beyond waving at that four word character description again.
Shadow's appeal (at least to me) was never that he was a character who didn't care about anything - it was that he cared very deeply, actually. (Someone who nearly lets the world be destroyed as revenge for losing his family is the exact opposite of someone who doesn't care!) He may not be cheerful, he may be quiet and stern, he may have a temper and be capable of terrible things if he isn't careful, but he isn't heartless.
And Shadow Generations FINALLY got it right, I feel.
There's now no doubt that he remembers his past, and that it did matter to him. It still does, in fact, and we're dropping the idea that he'll move on from it like it never happened. That's not how tragedy works.
But he will be able to move forward.
He has finally, WITHOUT GETTING AMNESIA, IN THE CANON TIMELINE, gotten to become the hero Maria wanted him to be.
That doesn't mean his story's over: I'm sure they can still find adventures to send him on. And that doesn't mean he needs any kind of complete personality overhaul, either. He can still be more aggressive than Team Sonic, and more stern, and maybe even more willing to resort to questionable methods to fight next week's bad guy.
But all of Team Dark has gotten to acknowledge that they do, in fact, care for each other, even if their attitudes aren't as chummy as Team Sonic.
Shadow has gotten to hear from his family that they are proud of him, weird alien DNA and all, and that even though he will have to go the rest of his long life without them, their love will always go with him, and give him the strength he needs to overcome any of his darker parts.
Shadow having a darker edge than Sonic and Shadow being a hero are things that can and SHOULD coexist, and I'm so glad we finally got to see it for him without it getting wiped from canon or his own memories again.
#sonic the hedgehog#long post#naturally nothing against you and i'm happy we can discuss civilly :)#i obv didn't mean to attack you or ruin your enjoyment for sxsg#i just noticed some things in your original post that made me go 'no wait this isn't right'#and i guess any occasion is a good occasion to gush about shth lol#i do wish they'd port the 2000s games now that the fandom is yearning for them#it's still clinging onto the past but it's different than going 'hey remember this? good times right?'#we went through the nostalgia era in the 2010s but for the classics c'mon
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Giving up
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Coaxing your neighbor into having sex with you although he's unsure since he's much, much older than you
Warnings: big ass unspecified age-gap, Jackson!Joel is a softie Smut| unprotected piv, crempie, insicure!joel, sub!joel, also my man has trouble lasting cause he's not done this in a very long time.
a/n:i needed to write some cheesy romantic stuff, and maybe it doesn't really make all that sense in this story and maybe i cried while writing this cause no one is ever gonna love me like this but so what bitch leave me alone (i also am i lil tipsy as i proofread this, so ignore any mistakes pls)
Part 1
"did you do something to your hair?"
Tommy was standing on Joel's doorstep, looking at him as if he were an alien.
"I washed 'em" he grumbled, "what do you want?"
His brother couldn't help but huff out a laugh
"someone's in a good mood today"
"I've gotta be somewhere, just tell me what you want"
Tommy's interest was only piqued more.
there stood his brother, his clothes perfectly clean- maybe even ironed- his hair... styled, his beard trimmed...
something was definitely going on.
"Where are you going?"
Joel rolled his eyes now, shooting his little brother a death glare
"none of your business"
Oh he knew what was going on...
"Who is she?"
"Tommy-"
"Is it Jessica? I bet 's Jessica, she's always flirting with you you ol' dog-"
Joel swore he was gonna punch him- he was already running late because of how long he took to pick his clothes- finding a flannel that wasn't completely worn out turned out to be real fucking hard.
He felt stupid for how much effort he'd put into getting ready, he felt stupid for how anxious he was, but most of all... he wanted his brother to go away.
"There ain't no one, Tommy- now, if there ain't anything you need, please go-"
But just then- just when he was finally going to get rid of him, your sweet, soft voice made its way to his ears.
"Hi Joel! Hi Tommy!" You smiled from your porch, waving your hand at him and his brother "You didn't forget about today, did you Joel?"
What in the actual fuck?
Tommy did a double-check, looking between you and his brother, and when he finally confirmed that it was actually him you were talking to, you whom he'd gotten all dolled up for, he couldn't do anything but let out a slow, long breath.
"No I didn't- I'll be there in a minute, darlin'!" Joel was answering you as his brother regained his ability to speak
"well... Fuck. Me" he was in awe, his voice barely a murmur
"it ain't like that" Joel was quick to intervene "'m just fix-"
"'m sure it ain't" Tommy let out a chuckle, his hand going to pat his brother's back "You fucking lucky bastard"
"Tommy I know she's young bu-"
"shut up man" he laughed "Just go have fun, you asshole"
__ __
"Sorry 'm late, Tommy was just-"
You smiled at his words, shaking your head
"It's ok, Joel" you cooed as you let him in,
He gave you a soft little smile, and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
Joel Miller didn't smile just at anyone.
"water?" you asked, leading him to the kitchen.
"Uhm- sure"
His heart was damn near beating out of his chest already- for no fucking reason at all.
Well except the obvious one... you'd sucked his dick and he'd eaten you out three days ago- and you'd made it clear you wanted more.
Jesus Christ, he felt like a fourteen-year-old with his first crush.
You watched him as he sipped on the glass.
"So?" a soft smirk was caged between your teeth "Did you think about it?"
He damn near choked.
Which didn't make any sense, he was expecting this, he already knew you'd ask.
He cleared his throat, diverting his eyes from you "I-I have"
"And?"
You'd gotten closer, your expectant eyes studying every inch of his face
pleasepleasepleaseplease say yes
"Did- didn't you have something that needed fixing?"
Oh for fuck's sake
"joel" you called for him in what almost sounded like a plead.
"darlin' just... lemme fix your cabinet first"
This man was gonna be the goddamn death of you.
"ok"
__ __ __
As it turns out, in many different ways.
Who knew watching him fix something would turn out to be so fucking hot?
He'd rolled his shirt up so that his strong forearms and a glimpse of his beautiful bite-worthy biceps were showing, his hands moved so very expertly that they couldn't help but bring back memories of what those same fingers had done to you just a few days ago, and his face... he looked so hot when he was all in his head, concentrated only on the task before him-
or so you thought.
"You're gonna stare at me the whole time?"
A soft laugh escaped your lips
"don't mind me- just enjoying the view"
He huffed out a laugh as he went back to work, but you couldn't help but notice the fact he pushed his sleeves ever further up his arms, giving you more of a view of his delectable skin.
What a tease
__ __ __
"there we go" he said after some time, opening and closing the cabinet one final time to make sure "all done"
For the record, this time you hadn't even done it on purpose, the cabinet had actually broken. It was like fate was sending you a message.
You awakened from your daydreams as he stood up to his full height, and hopped off the stool you were sitting on to walk closer to him, noticing some dampness in your panties while doing so...
It wasn't your fault... he was the one looking way too hot doing such a simple task.
"thank you" You smiled up at him, your hands going to his chest,
He held his breath for a moment
"'s nothing babygirl"
"yeah? then... you think you could check my bedroom too?" you were biting your lip in a way that made your question take on a whole different meaning "to make sure nothing needs fixing y'know?"
"In your... bedroom?"
"yes, Joel- please" you added, with your best innocent doe eyes.
Which of course made him fold in a matter of seconds.
You'd taken on a different tactic. It was obvious at this point that the man was too shy and too unsure to give you an answer (or the one you wanted to hear anyway), which is why you needed to present him with the actual possibility right in front of him.
And yeah maybe it was manipulative, but fuck it if you didn't wanna feel the man inside of you.
The flashbacks of what he did to you on that bed filled his mind the moment he stepped into the room.
He needed to get a grip or he wouldn't be able to hide his growing bulge in a minute.
"Everything seems right"
"yeah? 'm not sure about the bed" you hummed, desperately hoping he would just go along with it "it makes a weird sound when I get on it"
He turned to you then, his eyes locking with yours for an infinite second.
"try" you said finally, nodding to the bed.
He watched you for a moment longer before, surprising you, he did it- he sat on the bed.
The mattress creaked underneath his weight, and you made quick work of strolling closer to him as he pressed his palms on the bed, checking for the inexistent "weird sound"
"it don't look like there's anythin' wron-" he looked up the moment your hands found his shoulders "Whatcha doin'? sweethear-"
You were sat on his lap before he could even finish the sentence.
"Joel" you spoke his name softly, as if it were a caress, your hands slowly moving up and down from his shoulders to his pecs, as you finally scooted closer to him so your core was right against the hardness in his jeans-
He inhaled sharply, his fingers curling on the bed.
"would you like to have sex with me or not?"
You accentuated your words with a slow roll of your hips, grinding onto him and making a soft groan build inside his throat
"this- this ain't really fair sugar"
A smirk pulled at your lips as you lowered your head to whisper in his ear "I never said I didn't play dirty, Mr. Miller"
Your right hand trailed lower, moving down his belly so slowly that Joel thought he might just lose his mind.
"You're y-young baby-"
Your hand had found his crotch, the outline of his dick fitting in your hand oh so perfectly.
"we've gone over this already Joel, I'm old enough" you purred, your lips leaving a peck just below his ear "old enough to do many many things"
He cursed under his breath
"I just... I don't understand"
A breathy laugh escaped you
"there's not much to understand really" you murmured "You're hot, and I like you, and I wanna get in your pants"
That earned you a chuckle
"and you're sure you won't regret this?" he asked, "you sure this is what you really want- that- that you don't want to give a boy your age a chance instead of me?"
You smiled as you looked up at him,
you'd never met a man so sweet
"Joel, I promise you I'm sure" you whispered "I promise you this is what I want, you are what I want"
Fucking damn it
How could he ever say no after that?
With those gentle eyes of yours looking at him, with your hand right over his cock...
"So?"
He was gonna think about the consequences tomorrow. Now- now there was only you.
"yes"
That single word sounded better than any song you'd ever heard.
yes
Your lips were on his before he could even think of changing his mind- and god did they feel like a dream.
His soft stubble grazed against your cheeks and upper lip, as you deepened the kiss, as he opened up to you, closing his eyes only after he'd taken you in, only after he could admire all that was happening to him for some godforsaken reason.
A growl rumbled from his chest when your core found his dick again, grinding onto it in a way, that combined with the way your tongue was tasting every inch of him, was making him see stars.
He didn't think he'd kissed like this in 30 years,
making out seemed like such a distant thing from him, he was much too old to do something like this, and yet... everything about you made him feel like a teenager all over again, so perhaps it was fitting-
and god he had forgotten how amazing it felt.
You started undoing his flannen, not even dreaming of breaking the kiss, and once you opened his shirt up, once his big strong chest was right there before you, you just had to look at it.
You leaned away, his lips chasing yours making you smile as your gaze lowered.
Jesus, he was the hottest man you'd ever seen.
Some hair and freckles adorned his pecs, his little belly was ever so cutely fighting against his jeans- his skin was soft beneath your palms as they explored every inch they could reach.
He was looking at you, watching your blow-out eyes, wondering what potion you'd drank to be this mesmerized by what he had to offer.
You smiled once you caught him, leaning closer to leave a quick kiss on his lips.
"take off your clothes"
You got off of him, and once he saw you get rid of your shirt, your boobs pushed together by a simple black bra that somehow, at the moment, seemed like the sexiest thing in the world, he rushed to follow suit, nearly tripping getting off his pants.
The moment he looked at you again, the world- the universe, it all went quiet.
You stood naked before him, a soft, perfect little thing, looking like a damn dream.
"babygirl" he could only breathe as you reached him again.
"What?" you laughed
"I-I don't even know"
You shook your head, grinning from ear to ear as he pressed his mouth on yours again.
He was already addicted.
In a haze, you found yourself on the bed, your body caged beneath his, his tongue fighting with yours, his hands all over- You almost had the urge to laugh at how desperate he seemed, how frantically he was touching every inch of you, exploring every piece of skin-
His hands were on your tits, fingers gently playing with your nipples, then on your belly, your waist, your ass, your thighs, until finally, he found your core, but before he had the time to fully reach it you'd switched up with him, straddling his lap as he laid flat on his back... only he couldn't keep away for even a second and he immediately sat up, grabbing your waist.
He couldn't even begin to complain that you'd already grabbed his cock, positioning it at your entrance.
You couldn't wait anymore- you needed him now.
"Wait-" he murmured, his breathing labored already "you sure you're... y'know ready?"
Oh my god, you swore you were gonna fall for him if he kept this shit up.
"Joel" you smiled, looking into his big brown eyes "I've been wet since you fixed the cabinet"
"I-" he blushed "You-you sure?"
You didn't answer him, you simply took one of his hands in yours and guided him to feel just how much you were telling the truth.
"Fuck"
"yeah" you smirked "that's just what you do to me, Mr. Miller"
Jesus fuck
Joel didn't think his cock had ever been so hard.
You didn't give him time to do or say anything- he'd gathered that's how you did things by now- as you slowly, oh so very slowly, started sinking onto him.
He was big, the kind of big you'd be feeling tomorrow morning. The stretch hurt just right, so overwhelmed by the unadulterated pleasure that it was barely there.
Soft little moaned gasps spilled from your lips with every inch added, your eyes were closed, only focusing on the extraordinary feeling as your nails clawed at Joel's chest.
Until, finally- you'd done it. You were fully sat on his cock, and while your eyelids fluttered open, you regained your ability to hear- to hear the curses leaving Joel's mouth between ragged breaths
"Jesus Christ- Jesus fucking Christ- Goddamnit"
His grip on your waist was so tight you were sure it was gonna leave a bruise... not that you were complaining.
"you ok?"
His eyes were shut close and creases of effort filled his forehead, while his chest went up and down as he desperately tried to breathe.
"Joel?"
He swallowed tightly, now breathing in through his nose before exhaling from his mouth.
"d-don't move"
You smiled as you promised "I won't"
God this was fucking embarrassing.
He'd spent three days training.
And yes he wasn't sure he would have said yes, but still, better safe than sorry- except for the fact it clearly hadn't worked.
He had spent three days fucking his own fist and trying to last as much as possible and he did do progress... but this... this was fucking nothing like what he'd felt in the last twenty years.
He was so fucked
"I-I'm sorry" he gritted out, sounding almost defeated "I- I haven't done this in a long time darlin'"
"And you... you feel so fuckin' good- fuck"
Your walls had inadvertently squeezed around him at his words, making a groan rumble in his chest.
"You have nothing to apologize for Joel"
he would have told you that your voice was making everything worse if he weren't so preoccupied with trying to calm his dick down.
"take all the time you need"
And so he did, his eyes remained closed as he breathed through the initial shock, until finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was back.
He had to stifle a moan once he opened his eyes back up.
There you were, your beautiful eyes trained on his with such gentleness and care that it made where his gaze fell to feel even more sinful.
Your boobs were barely touching his chest, and yet they could have been in his face for the effect they had on him- his hands were on your waist, holding onto your soft flesh, your thighs were straddling his lap, giving him no choice but to finally look between your bodies, where you two connected.
"Darlin'" he murmured, hypnotized
You smiled, watching him admiring you in silence
"You look..."
Every word that came to mind wasn't enough, you were otherwordly, you were perfection... so he just settled on the simplest, and perhaps truest of them all.
"you're beautiful"
Your cheeks burned with heat as his gaze came back to yours.
"so are you, Joel"
And that was that.
His lips found yours again, and you couldn't stop your hips as they started moving, rocking back and forth and bringing little waves of ecstasy to your core.
A desperate moan spilled from yours to Joel's mouth as he grabbed the back of your head, forcing you into an even deeper kiss as he started following your movements.
Your hands went to the back of his neck, grabbing at the hair at the nape of it as you finally started bouncing on his dick, and god- god it was even better than you could have ever imagined
The loudest growl sounded from his throat as you worked yourself up and down on his shaft.
He was in another universe, his actions were only reflexes as the hand not tangled in your hair found your tits and then your ass, grabbing at it with tenderness and need.
"Oh Joel" you cried, his dick filling you up better than anything ever before.
You could quite literally feel him in your stomach, every little vein and ridge of skin creating a permanent dent inside of you that only he was ever gonna be able to fill.
"sweetheart- fuck" he groaned on his own, your breaths mixing as you ghosted each other's mouths, his eyes raking over your body and face, while yours couldn't help but roll to the back of your head as his manhood hit a particularly good spot.
"You feel so- good Joel" you whimpered mindlessly, now quickening your pace, desperation taking over you completely.
the sound of him entering your drenched core mixed with the bed creaking underneath you as you drove yourself closer and closer to heaven.
The sound of his name falling from your lips was something that filled Joel's chest with an indescribable feeling, he felt on top of the word, and at the same time... at the same time he wished it had never left your mouth because it was now forever imprinted in his brain, and he knew nothing was ever gonna compare to it.
Oh and also- also it was making his little lasting problem real fucking hard to control.
But he was nothing if not a gentleman,
You were gonna come, he wasn't gonna have it any other way.
His hand lowered down your belly as you kept chasing your release, looking like a damn glimpse of paradise, until his thumb found your clit.
"Oh fuck" you moaned, your eyes snapping open to look at him- a dark glaze of lust shading your iris.
Joel realized too late that he hadn't taken into account how fucking tight you'd get, and was now really paying the consequences.
Plus when you looked at him like that... maybe just this one time he could not be a gentleman- I mean it's not like he had much choice, he was trying his hardest but- shit
"darlin'" he mumbled, his thumb circling your bud "w-where do ya- where do ya want it?"
You moaned louder just at the thought of him coming
"Inside"
It wasn't even a question
"N-no sweetheart I-I shouldn-"
"Joel" you interrupted him, your lips grazing his as you talked, your grip on his hair tightening "I want you to fill me up until I can feel you leaking out of me for days"
Good Christ and heaven
"Fuck me" he cursed, all his strength going on not coming right there and then "Darlin' please- tell me you're close"
You were already seeing stars as he spoke
"I'm close, baby- oh fuck" you cried "Joel!"
A tsunami of lust-filled pleasure coursed through your veins as your orgasm hit like a damn truck.
You couldn't even remember your name as you screamed his own into the thick air, as you moaned and cried and spasmed around him, feeling him do exactly what you'd asked- filling you up to the very brim.
He'd started coming the moment you did- he couldn't do anything about it, it was just unadulterated perfection-
His head fell between your neck and shoulders as groaned like a man possessed,
until finally, after a good three minutes, you were both back to the land of the living.
He looked twenty years younger when he looked at you again, and you- you looked like the most beautiful woman on earth.
A soft smile pulled at your lips, and you couldn't help but ask "How long before we can do it again?"
And fuck him, but his age didn't matter, with those eyes of yours, it might very well be minutes.
@kluvspedro @bluebiyou @casssiopeia @bean-is-reading @millerispunk @i-cant-stfu
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic#sub!Joel#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#sub joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller imagine#joel miller blurb#smut#joel miller angst#fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#tlou hbo
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for the inevitable day I can be proven wrong, I just want to say just how many times I think Kab and Mane are secretly working together and I get really convinced it all makes sense and if she is as good of an actor as she insists then this is just not a crazy take at all.
But then I remember what she says on her streams and I remember I have zero belief that that could be true in the slightest.
But then something like Hannah conveniently being logged out right above the claymore and becoming the perfect scapegoat for how mane found it, or the signs that mane could have found it himself covers up the concept of a mole on the team. How much it reminds me of what spoke was like in the s3 finale. How much it's in the little moments that expose a liar regardless of what they say.
How zam literally gave her the example of working with mapicc to kill pangi and how that showed how dedicated he was to him getting the mapicc kill. How convenient it is for her if the claymore fails so she can be the one to kill mane. How easy it would be dm mane that. and mane can take care of covering for her by saying he found it. how i definitely believe he would be intrigued and pleased with the possibility of a story like that.
how much mane targets her and how easy of a justification that is for her to infiltrate the opposition. How incredibly offended she gets when anyone implies this isn't her kill, while she stays to the side making other's plans come to light.
How much she insists on knowing all of zam's plans. always asking questions.
how much she insists that she cares about zam but has also said multiple times she wants to do a crazy arc on zam. the two can be true because they do care about each other outside of the server.
how she picked mane's iron farm for the conversation with bacon way back when. How she flew off to mane's lag machine area when talking to woogie. How coincidental that of all the places it was two manepear locations in the same week. How much i believe that that is the kind of audacity that kab would love to write into a story.
I just can't shake the Jumper paranoia since s5. How convincing jumper was for being a part of the team. How there were clear points of her being a traitor that got so completely brushed under the rug with easy excuses from her. How easily Spoke s3 got in on zam's team without trying because zam was willing to trust him instantaneously because they once shared views. Zam did all the heavy lifting for making Spoke not look sus, spoke just had to go along for the ride and make tiny silly mistakes that implicated every other member of the server while systematically leading to clown finding the bases himself.
But then i remember Kab is simply always happy when something benefits her, and so not being upset in the slightest over mapicc's claymore not working is so much easier explained as her just being happy her plan can work. Rather than already knowing it was never going to work.
And then I remember how afraid she gets about doing a plan and how much she overthinks before doing it. How much it feels like she's a bad actor when she turns on the acting, so it feels like she's just not good at acting. But what if she isn't.
The possibility is so low and yet the examples are there.
Because she's either the worst manipulator in the world and cannot read people and has only succeeded due to the shortness of other servers, or she holds out for the long con and can handle lying over a very long period of time and covering it by talking about her random other plans as cover for the long term, and she's lying to chat as well in every moment she is streaming. Which is a mind fuck I was not prepared for.
Because you don't need to actually characterize people well in order to manipulate them. You just need to understand yourself. And you just need to craft a narrative that makes enough sense for others to fill in the gaps.
but that's just a conspiracy. one that blossoms in every zam stream and dies in every kab stream. Hopefully I'm wrong but either way we'll know at the end of the season.
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Idk did the reunion seem a little… stilted to anyone else? Like there was a lot of emotion and Eman and Natasha had a lot of really good chemistry but it was almost like they were holding back. Like there was more they wanted to do/say but didn’t want to overstep (wink wink) because it’s been 10 years and they dont really know where the other stands
#like it’s almost like they didn’t know how to react around eachother anymore#which makes sense because of the time gap#star wars#ahsoka spoilers#ezra bridger#sabine wren#sabezra
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.
#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing#its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well#further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans#wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up#dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their#departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why#leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never#too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran#and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally#going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic#is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13#in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or#possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i#forgot he died 🧍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo#is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.
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Have you any thoughts on Gethen Ondsinn, good sir?
I do! Though a lot of this is me repeating myself. Currently Gethen is at the top of my I Suspect You Of Being Sophie's Father list, for a couple of reasons. And since there's so little else about him that's kinda the main thing I think about him. I'm not someone who likes to create personalities or make headcanons about characters.
Before I repeat my father suspicions though, I wonder if in the next book(s) we'll finally get Sophie reading Gethen's mind. It's something she's considered at several different points in the series and always been dissuaded from, and I can't help thinking we'll finally get the Neverseen's telepath vs. the Black Swan's super telepath and crack his case. I hope we do at least. Because it's odd to me that they repeatedly say Sophie is the best telepath their world has even seen, and yet are sure Gethen will one-up her and trick her and pull her under. I understand there's a certain risk they want to avoid of him tricking/trapping her, but like…everything else has a risk, why is this the line? This is her area of expertise, let her use it. Which also ties into me suspecting he's her father and wants to drop that bomb on her during said confrontation, which Forkle knows and is why he always wants to take on Gethen instead of her.
Listen. I know Cadence suggested her parents wouldn't have her abilities, but she wasn't part of Project Moonlark; she's theorizing. And we already saw the realization of that suggestion in Oralie, we don't need to do it again. Given how crucial her telepathy is as her main ability, I find it difficult to believe neither of her parents is a telepath. Especially with the recent improved enhancing affecting telepaths and empaths more.
Also! People have said it before, but we just don't know a lot about Gethen compared to everyone else! Especially for being the very first Neverseen member we meet. He's the OG and we know fuck all about him. Which I suspect means he's existed from the beginning because Shannon had to know who her parents were from the beginning to set things up the way she wanted to, but his purpose is one that takes time because of the suspense built around it so he's just been waiting for that moment.
I know it doesn't make sense for Mr. Forkle to choose a Neverseen DNA donor, but given that it would provide an excellent amount of shock and drama both in the story and for the reader, I think it's reasonable to assume there's a plausible explanation to make it work. Such as double crossing, not knowing he was Neverseen, etc.
However! This is all just my passive speculation and may very well prove to be incredibly wrong, so take it with a grain of salt. There's not a lot to go on for him so I'm kinda jumping to conclusions based on the gaps, but they are my thoughts :)
#kotlc#gethen ondsinn#quil's queries#nonsie#long post#is it a perfect theory? nope! but so far its what makes the most sense to me#because the other suspects already have other roles in the series#gethen is blank. we don't know why he's in the story. and he's been here /the whole time/#his purpose should've been made obvious by now#but its not#and since one of the remaining big gaps/questions in the series is whose her dad#i am aligning the two holes and going hmm? perhaps?#hope that helps#if you were looking for headcanons and non-canon characterization though you came to the wrong place sorry :/#you should head over to fab for that! unless you are fab. in which case. hi :)
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taught my 6 year old sister the H-O-T-T-O-G-O and she tried to teach it to her kindergarten teacher😭😭😭 girl you can not go around repeating everything we do/say at home everywhere you go I thought we went through that
#one time she sang vampire by olivia rodrigo in a grocery store#the price of growing up as the youngest child with at least a 7 year age gap with all her siblings#like man i cuss constantly and it wasn't that much of a problem until like a few months ago#because if my 12 yo sister goes around saying “fuck” and “shit” that's fine imo#IF MY 5 YEAR OLD (at the time) SISTER DOES THAT ON THE OTHER HAND#girl also has an awful sleep schedule#she goes to sleep waaaaay too late for her age#worst of all she looks up to me so much#which makes a lot of sense as i'm her older sister#but i'm not a good role model. i don't know how to life.#i also don't like dealing with children and she's only an exception sometimes#i hate being responsible#especially for anyone who isn't me#ughhhhhhh when will the day i stop typing ; instead of ' come
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hyperfixating on a character who i don’t know as specifically as my other usual hyperfixation ocs is so funny there’s a guy in my head 24/7 atm but i don’t know him like that and im just like ummmmmm so what do you usually do at bedtime. do you like music? yeah i also like music.
#thing with Bobby is because of the sensitive nature of his arc I’ve always tried to develop him as a main character#because I never wanted to understand his illness and death from the context of someone else#also I don’t really believe in side or minor characters just characters who happen to not be the pov voice. anyway#so yeah Bobby has always been on the same level as felix and dorothy and beau for me despite not being a protagonist#which helped me quickly understand a lot of specifics about him beyond his illness and death#his character had always been very vibrant but bc I only recently solidified a project where he’s a protagonist#(always wanted to write smth in his pov but finally just figured out what it should look like)#I’m only now starting to fill in the gaps in between but it kinda feels like when you’re alone with a friend of a friend for the first time#and like you get along but don’t know each other well enough to carry a conversation yet LOL#like i need beau to help me out but he’s not here bc it’s not about him#I’m like okayyyyy so what do you do when you’re bored? and it’s like I don’t fucking know#does this even make sense my autism is very. specific I think#BOBBY I WILL AUTISTICALLY MAKE YOU ANOTHER BEST FRIEND IN MY HEAD
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im rewatching community and just got to what is arguably the shows absolute worst episode - the one where britta finds out all her friends have been essentially getting paid off by her abusive parents, and somehow britta is the one at fault for being “childish”??
i find this episode so cruel in so many ways honestly, and not the least bc dan harmon, after giving britta a backstory that involves CSA (which her parents didnt believe happened), chose to convey the message that britta is 100% wrong & you should always forgive your abusers regardless of all else, and we as viewers are just supposed to be ok with that.
its extra evil too because dan harmon was fired from community in the first place because he was sexually harassing one of the shows writers, and now here he is actively denying the trauma of his female character who was a victim of sexual assault. like bro. this could not be more on the nose if it tried
#dark lord saltine#community#csa mention#i watched community before finding out about all the dan harmon stuff and man.#i wish i had known about it ahead of time#because for as good as the show is - and it does have some REALLY great stuff - dan harmon clearly has issues with women#like a lot of them.#and i find it very notable that jeff (who is clearly a stand-in for dan harmon) is constantly lusting after annie despite the huge age gap#like sir....#also in regards to the episode itself: i saw a post about this episode that really caught my eye#someone said that it made no sense for britta to be suddenly mooching off her friends#when the levar burton episode makes it very clear shes actually TOO giving to her friends#he straight up says it to her - ''youre a good friend but youre really stupid with your money''#so where does it come from that shes now suddenly mooching off of them and giving nothing in return?#it almost feels like britta became a punching bag for dan harmons to release his feelings toward outspoken & political women#which is why other characters developed & grew for the better but britta not only stagnated; she actively got worse#man. the more i talk about this the more i hate this show LMAO
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the quest for claudia's birthday takes me to strange and unknown places
#sriracha.txt#the original way i understood the timeline allowed for a much Slower building of events#there were originally 5 years after claudia's death + 7 years of agu living in hiding after cesare's death#but if she dies at 12 that means a whole 12 years has passed. so she'd be 24 in the modern day.. roughly wyll's age#it simply couldn't work.. wyll is Older. he's like the super cool cousin she orbited around at social gatherings until he disappeared#and then. well </3#i don't know if the satie-gortie-augie hellabonanza trip will stick but i think the accelerated timeline Will#because now it's 3 years between claudia's death and the start of the game. which imo makes more sense.. the grief and longing agu would#feel for his departed daughter would be MUCH stronger in that time frame + thus make him easier to manipulate via the dream guardian#i never thought about it being a 12 year gap before but now that i do.. idk i think he would simply live w the grief and be immediately#suspicious of the emperor instead ykwim#this is fun as well bc WHAT effect does this have on the agu-ketheric beef... before it was him being pissed that ketheric wrought so much#suffering because he lost isobel. but now??#unsure. HOWEVER it's funny that he gets ketheric's netherstone on account of ALSO being a father who does some Higher Being's bidding with#the promise of getting their daughter back. and it ends well for Neither of Them </3#bg3 spoilers
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I put on attack of the clones last night for background noise but I ended up actually just watching probably 80% of it and the funniest shit in the world possibly the best moment in the entire prequel trilogy is when they first get to Naboo and check in with the queen + council and they're just talking abt the republic and keeping her safe whatever the fuck and then one of them finally acknowledges Anakin like "Master Jedi what do you suggest?" and Padmé INSTANTLY says "Oh Anakin isn't a JEDI he's just a padawan learner. So basically I was thinking--" and Anakin. Reasonably. Is like "Hold on a second" and she cuts him off AGAIN like "EXCUSE ME. Anyway, I was thinking..." and makes him fight for his life to actually get w word out. Literally WHY does she do that to him its so fucking funny.
#The first and only movie in which she actually has a personality 😭#But actually some of my favorite Padmé moments are when she kind of snaps at him or puts him down or just#seems kind of annoyed or exhausted with him not to conspiracy theorized but I am so in love with the idea that she never actually#likes him all that much. Like. Fundamentally she likes that he is in love with HER and the doors that that opens in terms#of playing the little game that their relationship is. But I feel like his actual personality she could take or leave at best#largely due to him being Actually insane#And perpetually immature I guess. Which is why I actually kind of enjoy their weird age gap#My philosophy these days is like. If it makes very little sense on any level that she would love him back especially after#such a short time its because she doesn't. She just decided to add that reciprocation to her rotating mask collection because#playing Barbie's Dream House with him is the first time she has ever felt like an actual living human woman with a tangible Self#END POST#sw
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Disclaimer: These thoughts are more emotionally than logically expressed, and reflect my own experience and preference.
#I have some beef with Lockwood and I say this as someone who really enjoys both the show and the books.#I've been doing a rewatch to introduce it to my dad (who loves it!) but we just hit Episode 5 and - is it just me but does this episode#plunge rather deeper into the darkness than we see in the previous episodes? It makes sense narratively of course#Complete Fiction has the task of structuring it such that there's a proper midpoint shift in the series and in my own works I increase#the stakes around this point and really let the protagonists struggle. So it's not so much that I have an issue with things getting#more focused dangerous and difficult. I don't know that I have a logical reason for the unease I feel with Episode 5 - there's just somethi#vaguely disturbing to me about it. It may be my own personal sensitivities. The interrogation scene at Winkman's has absolutely nothing#graphic about it and I appreciate the discretion - but it's just so intense - the threats to draw on Lockwood's face with the heated#instrument - the whole electric shocks sequence - I have been told I have a particularly vivid and empathetic imagination so I may just#be filling in too many gaps and feeling the scene more intensely than some would but it genuinely bothered me. More so on rewatch#though I didn't like it the first time either. I wonder too if it's because on rewatch I can compare it to the scene in the book#Gosh - the book scene is *comedic!* 'Let's disguise ourselves as ditzy tourists and while you check the backroom I'll let my coins#fall all over the place and crawl around under the tables loaded with antiques and freak the owners out! And when they get caught#Winkman just lifts them off the ground menacingly and chucks them in the street. The fact that we had to turn this into a midnight#torture scene for TV - I don't know - I don't like it. And just the atmosphere isn't as balanced as in the other episodes. So many flashbac#to grotesque corpse faces which are somehow a lot more disturbing than the CGI ghosts which feel much more Halloweenish#Not much love and light carved out in the darkness. There's some for sure! And even in the torture scene that bugs me I appreciate how it#shows Lockwood's heart and allows us to explore some meaningful territory that the ditzy tourist scene doesn't#I'm just griping and mainly hoping that the rest of the series is more how I remember it from first watch. The warmth of the Portland#Row gang means a lot to me. Stacking this dark feel on top of the discomfort I have with the harsh language rubs me the wrong way#(Thankfully I have online filters so the language isn't an issue for me but it does make me more reluctant to recommend to friends.
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This is such a "nobody else has read this comic" moment but like. It kills me every day that we never see Simon's conversation with Amanda Waller in JLA (2013) #5. Like I NEED to know what she said to him in that room. He goes in fully intending to detach himself from all the drama of his origin arc and get the government off his back yet when he leaves he joins Waller's JLA (which is a different, rival entity of the JL at this time). And THEN in JLA comic he's not just on the team, he's one of the more pro-Waller/pro-authority members!!! Which doesn't sound like Simon!!! Like at all! But again this is the Wall we are talking about. And they had a private conversation together! For an unspecified amount of time! That we know nothing about! Like this is Amanda freaking Waller if anyone could say something to make this make sense it would be her. SO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHE SAID. but also also also we see ANOTHER change of heart from Simon towards Waller (and the government) in Green Lanterns #1! (I think.) Here he's shown being fed up as the government tries to manipulate him for information and to gain power and such and is like keeping tabs on him and his family etc. So obviously he's become disillusioned with this and is not happy about it, which is the kind of reaction you would expect from him! Like that actually makes sense!!!
So its like logically you figure that his characterization in JLA is bad (it is new 52) and doesn't make sense and stems from an ignorance of his character (who had been in literally 16 comics before this. Including cameos. Like bruh just read them) and that's why this doesn't make sense. BUT THERE'S STILL THAT CONVERSATION WITH WALLER. Like I want this to my sense so bad. And my brain knows what Amanda Waller is like like it KNOWS that something could have plausibly happened in that room to make this line up! Like it's Amanda freaking Waller anything could have happened there. I need to know what happened there. I will NEVER know what happened there.
#like its a new 52 comic it makes sense that it wouldnt make sense!!!!!!! but there is this GAP and it is driving me nuts#because if anyone could have said something to make this make sense it would be waller!!!! NEVER underestimate waller!!!! that is how she#gets you. also shadow government plots shes very good at those at well#especially when they explode in everyone's faces including her own#she still comes out swinging#grrrrrr no but this drives me SO bonkers because like AGGGHHHHH and its some random new 52 comic like no one cares but then#I am all like guys lets talk abt the Simon and Amanda Waller dynamic lets talk abt Simon and Waller like NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABT#like they met??????? yeah in a nu52 comic that i read in my quest to read every simon baz appearance#im 9999.999% sure dc has totally forgotten this comic existed. the writer probably has too. the only thing its notable for is causing drama#to lead up to forever evil.#anyways just oh my god. the simon and waller missing conversation is insane to me. what the fuck did they say?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#maybe i go crazy bc of this bc theyre both in my top 10 on locg. like ive read a bunch of simon but ive also read ostrander + yale suicide#squad. which is the waller holy grail. and so i am vertifiably insane#only way for this to get more swishy self indulgent is to merge GL and SS even more and bring ben into it#i love ben he just dropped out of my top 10 and im devastated. i should read more ben comics. ive read a good chunk already hes not in that#many. also jess should be there. that would be even more self indulgent and make me crazier#suicide squad comic but you just stuff all swishy's faves in a room and expose them to the wall#wait shit this is giving me ideas now i dont have time for this LOG OFF LOG OFF#what was i saying again????? oh.#blah#simon baz#amanda waller
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also now realizing there's a heavy possibility that the unknown event Daniel references where he asks Lyla "how are you going to find your happiness?" is the same event Helene references when she tells Lyla that Lyla "betrayed" her.
Coincidentally, that's probably the same event that allowed Helene to be manipulated by the Empress into turning against Lyla and might have been the cause of Daniel leaving Lyla (probably to find out how to awaken as a dragon so he could gain the power to take her away from her family faster? maybe even going so far as to try and compete w/ Paris for the throne if it means protecting Lyla?)
There's also a suspicious gap of time from when Helene was poisoned to when she told Lyla to get away from her that has been omitted. And considering baby Lyla cries about Helene not wanting to be with her anymore...and that same baby Lyla is seen hugging Daniel in the unexplored scene...Lyla what the fuck did you do to Helene to embitter her like this?
#the mighty extra#the mighty extra: one girl changes the world#me a week ago: gee im not sure if the Helene saying Lyla betrayed her scene makes sense re: Lyla's death#me now: ohhhhhhhh we haven't gotten to the reason why Helene felt betrayed yet gooootcha that's why something feels amiss#something happened in the gap of time between when Helene got poisoned and when she turned her back on Lyla gooootcha#and here i thought it was a smooth transition but now i see i have yet again been tricked by my own bad expectations LMAO#im so used to just accepting half-baked explanations that are construed to try and explain canon events i didn't even think to doubt myself#this story really is the gift that keeps on giving#also the idea of Daniel competing with Paris for the sake of ensuring Lyla gets to live a happy life is really fucking cute#he gives off a lot of big brother vibes and honestly for a “unpredictable crazy dragon” he's such a sweetheart#my current guess is that Arne somehow tricked Helene to turn against Lyla? or tricked Lyla into hurting Helene somehow (emotionally)?#because these sisters ADORED each other very clearly and Helene being poisoned by Sienna wouldn't have broken their bond so easily#whatever happened was bad enough that Daniel said it was better off if she forgot all about it#which#she did#but not in the way he expects alas#and here i was thinking Helene was just an asshole because she felt severely hurt by Lyla's dangerous actions#nope! she's got a reason indeed and the fact that she felt betrayed by Something TM and yet still tries to save Lyla anyways is just#Interesting!#there's still more depth to dig out of these sisters and their relationship together pre-“Lyla” and im living for it!!!#also im still so confused about Daniel#so he was the sea witch's apprentice which means he knew Sienna but also he ran away from the sea witch at some point#and has been on the run from his own empire joined some pirates is now living with Ellie and is going to Lyla's side post the finale#i still dont get why he didn't take Lyla with him or come back for her. was he waiting to do so? for what? he was already awakened as a-#as a dragon by the time he found Lyla again. and he definitely didn't forget about her so like#*tilts head*#i can understand him being like “oh Lyla left guess she didn't wait for me” but i don't think he's ever implied that???#considering Daniel's side of Lyla's past still has holes in it I think there's going to be answers coming soon to this question but man#i love trying to do a conspiracy board in my head of the events that went down in the bg re: Lyla bc it's so fascinating to piece together#everything is explained but also nothing is explained and the writing for this story is really admirable as fuck
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