#which makes sense as they are the more hands on artistic people in the fam just in different ways
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My rambling is always cut off by the tag limits 😔
#you know what I’m saying it here since the tags cut me off#the pink brand shirt was cute actually#it was the sweatband that made it bad#and the tucking in of the shirt#if that wasn’t included it’s a cute look that I see people wear all the time plz I’m begging#Leo isn’t bad at this he just goes too far 😭#and also#I love how Mikey actually has a similar eye for this as Donnie#their disguise hoodies are even identical#which makes sense as they are the more hands on artistic people in the fam just in different ways#alternatively Donnie GAVE Mikey the hoodie which is just as good if not better#but yeah as i was writing prev post I started thinking about the popular ideas of Leo’s style and such and was like man#people always go one or the other for him#plz he’s not a frat boy he really really isn’t 😭#idk it just kinda bothers me when people wave away the fact that his face man status isn’t just pushed by himself but by others too?#*incoherent muttering*#I could write an essay on this but I feel like that would be too long winded even for me kdkdkd
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Tims S/O vs. the batfam
You, the reader, are Tim’s significant other. Congrats! you may think the hard parts over right? WRONG. you need to win over the whole ass Wayne family and heres how it goes.
Alfred
refers to you as Mx. L/N; however as you visit the manor more frequently, he begins to refer to you as Mx. Y/N
Since he refers to you as Mx. Y/N, you call him Mr. Alfred because you feel weird calling him just by his first name
No matter what first impressions you gave off to him, he never shared them due to not wanting to be impolite
you quickly realize that none of the bat fam helps with the chores, so you try to lend alfred a hand whenever possible
you try to be polite as possible around him, and he appreciates it
Dick
Is EXTREMELY protective of Tim
So when you first met him, he did the whole “you break my brother’s heart i will break your face” talk and that was TERRIFYING
Tim tells you not to worry about it, but whenever you were with Tim, you could sense Dick out of the corner of your eye, watching
However, as you spend more time around him, he sees that you’re really in love with tim and hes really in love with you
And you see that tim and dick have an amazing brotherly relationship, something you’ve never experienced yourself
One night, you tell dick that you wish that you had a brother as great as him
In that moment, he decided that he was gonna adopt you as one of his siblings and boom hes your big brother too now.
Duke
Duke being considered the newest person in the Wayne Manor, is basically your liaison, explaining all the dynamics and history of the Wayne Family/Manor
Super Charismatic, though hes clearly being observant of your every move, analyzing who you are as a person
But for the most part, he made you feel really comfortable at the manor
So the day you bought him a 1000 puzzle set was the day you basically won him over
You let him geek out about film and riddles, listening to every word he said, which was something that apparently didn’t happen often to him
Also duke straight up just third wheels you as often as he can
Jason
so basically
you were scared of jason
He was rarely at that manor, especially while you were there but when he was, he came in dragging blood or drinking alcohol
once while you were alone in one of the rooms by yourself, Jason came in, mask off, bandage on his right arm
he asked you, “so why are you dating replacement?”
“Why do you call him replacement?”
“Oh you know, because he replaced me when I died”
“oh. right.” Yeah you’re kinda stupid for that one
It takes a while for you to remember that jason is a vigilante who literally died and came back to life, and it takes him a while to remember that you’re a teenager and not a crime fighting super hero
so yeah your relationship does improve a bit
Whenever you guys get to talk, he always asks you some really deep question that throws you off guard, but you guys end up having really meaningful discussions and you get closer with him that way
Cass
you were even more scared about Cass than Jason
She just silently stared at you sometimes: didn’t even try to hide it
Like duke, she analyzed you a lot during your first meeting with her, although she did it to a more extreme: just by looking at you, she could sense your breathing, heartrate, movements; she was basically reading you soul
From this, should was able to tell just how absolutely frightened you were to meet her, so she made sure to smile to calm you down
Whenever you were alone with her you couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward; not only was there a bit of a language barrier but she was not the most talkative person, at times you just sat in silence
So you would try to do things with her rather than talking: you showed her pictures from your phone, she showed you her fighting moves, and you made conversation through facial expressions and body movements
Steph
VERY AWKWARD SHE PROBABLY HATED YOU IMMEDIATELY THE FIRST TIME YOU MET
i mean whos gonna be happy about seeing their ex’s new s/o not her nope
She kept smiling and laughing but you could see the burning hatred behind her eyes
It took a solid month before she actually talked to you
and it took another month for you to pluck up the courage to ask if she actually hated you
She looked embarrassed and admitted that she did kinda hate you in the beginning but that was solely because you were dating her ex, but she saw how good of a person you were, so she doesn’t hate you anymore
She asked if you hated her, since she kind of ignored you in the beginning
You said no, since she was so cool and you could see why Tim dated someone like her
Yeah so now you’re besties
And you often talking about Tim and his dating antics, sometimes right in front of him lol
Sometimes she would joke about stealing you from him, making sure to give you extra long hugs, and give u a kiss on the cheek just to piss Tim off >:)
Barbara
definitely looked up all your information as soon as she found out you were dating tim
Immediately went to interview mode when she met you
Asked about your future plans with tim, your job, your future college choices, your darkest fears, your median income
“... Im like 16″
Asides from that, shes pretty chill
you dont see her often, but she’s always down for a talk!
Would acted like my aunt from new jersey (in a good way)
Damian
You were super nervous about meeting him
Tim recalled events with him like he was recalling a war
So you were surprised to see a 12 year old kid being the one shooting daggers at you
“Drake brought home another guy/girl/person”
“damian shut the fuck up”
one day you catch him painting in his room
You ask him about his various paintings and he tells you his inspirations from each, going on a long rant for a solid hour
He realizes that hes been lecturing you for an hour and looked at you, blushing a bit
“Damian, you’re an amazing artist.” you say. smiling
Now Damian always tells tim that you’re too good for him, and everytime you banters with tim damian always took your side
Except when he saw you two kissing/cuddling, he would call you guys “disgusting pigs” and bolt out of the room
Bruce
ah, bruce. the final boss
You couldn’t help but feel absolutely terrified.
I mean not only is he a super mega rich business man and also like super famous but hes also BATMAN
you are also almost certain that he doesn’t know who you are despite being with tim for a few months by now
Everytime youre both in the same room he is often too busy to look up from whatever hes doing or rushing past you to go somewhere
Tim often confides in you about being the middle child in the family, meaning that sometimes people dont notice him and its really frustrating for him and for you to hear
One day u and tim are chilling in the batcave and bruce comes it and freezes when he sees the two of you
“who are y- what are you doing here-”
“oh um hello Mr. Wayne”
Bruce kinda just looked at you with a perplexed look, but that was when damian and cass walked by
“Father. Drake. Y/N” said damian, with Cassandra smilng and waving at you, to which you wave back.
“Hey Damian” you say nonchalantly. “I saw that you’re working on a new painting. youll have to tell me ALL about it later.”
“Of course. Im sure you’re aware of Georgia O’Keeffe”
You smiled and nodded, to which he gave the tiniest of a smile back as he and cass headed for the training room
Bruce just stared at you even more perplexed than before, I mean, you just made damian smile
You glanced at Tim, who seemed just as uncomfortable as you
“Oh yeah Y/N, didn’t we have that movie we were gonna watch? yeah lets go like right now.” Tim said as he pulled your arm took you out of the batcave, giving bruce the well talk later look
After that instance he talk to some of his children about you, and they had nothing but good things to say. Even Jason, who literally kills people for a living, put in a good word about you.
The next time you visited the manor, you were greeted by bruce himself, dressed up in a business suit.
“Y/N, correct?” he pulled out his large calloused covered hand and held it towards you
After a brief moment you smiled and took it
“Yeah, thats me”
#batman#batfam#bat man#incorrect batboys quotes#black bat#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#headcanon#dc headcanon#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#dc comics#dc universe#incorrect dc quotes#robin#red robin#nightwing#red hood#tim drake#tim drake x reader#tim drake x you#x reader#y/n#tim drake x y/n#time drake fanfic#x y/n
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『wayv’s ideal type』
headcanons, WayV
A/N: i love yangyang. send tweet.
today’s theme is... um... none. no braincells for an aesthetic
ALL OF MY WORKS ARE GENDER NEUTRAL AAAA
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡)...?
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think like 2 swear words and as usual, my tough love for the neos. don’t be offended.
word count: 1.6K
pairing: wayv members x reader (includes kun, ten, winwin, lucas, hendery, xiaojun, yangyang)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Kun
Kun, similarly to Taeil, would most likely fall for someone very mature and responsible. My dude is already the father of 7 children (I'm counting Chenle); the last thing he needs is one more.
Very closely related to that is what I think would be another of his priorities: whoever they are and however they are, they've got to get along with the rest of WayV—but it's even better if NCT as a whole likes them. As much as he'd love his s/o, I can't say that if it ever came down to choosing them or his members, he'd pick his partner. The guys are his family and a BIG part of his work, which takes over most of his life, so there's really no escaping it. Befriend the boys or bye-bye.
Once the boys approve of his crush, I think his interest would grow if they've got many pastimes or hobbies. I mean, c'mon, Kun can fly a plane on the same day as he sings his lungs out on Inkigayo and then goes home to cook some fancy-ass dinner. He doesn't need them to be on his level, though. Small, silly passions are the ones the loves the most. He'd listen to them talk about ANYTHING for like 3 hours straight, even if it's why their favourite type of constrictors are pythons. No, that is totally not about me. Shut up.
Ten
Y'all remember that one WayV live where a fan asks for dating advice? Yes, I'm taking a lot from it. If you've seen it, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that Ten likes honest and straightforward people. He values himself way too much to lose his time with someone who's playing games, making him chase them and things of the sort. It's simple, really. If you like him, great, he'll give you the stars if you ask, but if not, great too, he'll live.
I can see that either he'd get with a person as extra as him or someone on Jaehyun's level of unbothered. Not many options here. You either become his partner in crime and bring hell on Earth with him, or you accept it well. Just don't be judgy or ask him to tone it down. That's the way he is, so why should he, you know?
Speaking of that, AUTHENTICITY, FOLKS. Being authentic is a big deal here. Ten is very true to himself and is always encouraging us to be, as well. Anyone he even considers dating will be nothing short of unique and unapologetically so. Being confident is just so attractive for him, I can't even—and yes, even if they're a bit strange. His partner might be a weirdo, but they're HIS weirdo, and he'll fight anyone that disagrees.
Winwin
I think while other members might fall for someone as bright as the Sun, he'd love a person as calming as the Moon. You know that aesthetic? The gentleness, introspectiveness, wisdom, the tranquillity... yeah, fam. That's it for my boy Winwin.
Allow me to elaborate: all of those traits would make him very comfortable with the thought of being in a relationship. I can see Sicheng as having some trust issues, aside from not being very touchy or loud when it comes to affection. Having that peaceful aura would really help him grow closer to his partner because he knows they'll be patient with him and respect his boundaries.
He wouldn't mind if they're more on the talkative side, but he needs a person that can appreciate silence too. Something I see a lot for him is having loud thoughts that are hard to get rid of. Dating him would mean having nights when he's tired out of his mind and just doesn't have the strength to talk. His partner will have to understand that and stay by his side until his inner world is a bit less chaotic, just holding his hand and letting him take his time. I think allowing him to have his space and peace in the relationship is how he feels loved the most.
Lucas
Yukhei would not mind one bit having a more childish, carefree partner. He's a big baby, c'mon, being around another baby would probably make him the happiest. I also think he meant it when he said he doesn't care about age (that one V-Live from years ago). Younger than him, older than him, my boy doesn't give a fuck. He really just wants someone to be silly with and smile a lot.
Having said that, I really can't see anything pushing him away from getting to know someone. Lucas is very lighthearted and loves people, so I think he'd have his fun getting to know anyone—and tbh, he would be hooked if they're a bit mysterious too. His interest would probably get the best of him, and he wouldn't stop whining about it to the other boys until he learns something about them. Very random, yes, but I can 100% see him complaining to WayV during dinner, LMAO.
One thing he wouldn't enjoy too much? A partner that can't take compliments or doesn't like being spoiled. Yukhei's affection is LOUD, and he really thrives off praise, cute pet names and giving gifts. He'd most likely be heartbroken if he finds out they don't like any of it, almost like they're shutting down his love itself.
Xiaojun
Ah, my dear Dejun. The middle child of WayV. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just look up "Xiaojun's middle child problems" on YouTube and go from there. If you don't feel like it, lemme break it down to you: he's an angel, but the boys mostly accuse him of everything and anything and will throw him under the bus for fun. It's very entertaining. At this point, my boy doesn't have a fight or flight response; more like fight or fight (shhhh, I'll get into the headcanon now).
I think since he's used to being so defensive around his members, he'd appreciate a person that makes him feel both understood and safe. They'd share similar tastes (mint-choco ice cream, cough cough) and interests, but they'd most likely have a fiercer presence than him. Kind of intimidating, tbh. Very nice. I can definitely see that his partner wouldn't let WayV's chaos get to them and would, undoubtedly, be as much of a savage as the boys are.
He'd probably like it if they (playfully) fight his members and defend him from whatever-the-fuck they're blaming him for atm, so, yes, a bit protective. I think Dejun would simply find it cute and admirable, you know, their braveness. Would 10/10 brag about it when they're alone.
Hendery
Kunhang is the ultimate crackhead, but a sweet one at that. Being a Libra (yes, I'm going there), I think he can actually be very sentimental around the people he trusts the most and needs to feel like he belongs. That leads me to point 1: his partner would also be a crackhead. That's REALLY not up for debate. Kunhang wouldn't even think about dating someone that's not as much of a weirdo as he is.
Point 2: he probably wouldn't like to be with a person that's too vain or superficial, whether that goes towards others or themselves. He's said before he hopes the fans can see him as more than a pretty face, and I can imagine that goes for his s/o too. He'd simply not feel connected to someone who's always dolled up or dressed to impress. Would definitely prefer a more casual style and personality.
I guess point 3 is kinda random, but it makes sense to me, so here we go. Kunhang would really like someone who's just in love with human nature. For him, it's the tiniest things: the way they laugh, how they drink their tea, which side of the bed they'd prefer... it all adds up to a person, and I think he'd feel over the Moon to be with someone who sees the same things as him. Comment on a small habit of his he thinks no one else would notice, and I swear he's yours.
Yangyang
He is a spoiled brat, and I say that with all the love in the world. We've all heard WayV say how he basically tries to exploit them (mainly Hyung-line) at every opportunity he gets, which makes me think Yangyang might be a bit lazy, yes, but also that he'd do great with someone whose love language is acts of service.
Now, I'm not saying he'd tyrannize them or anything of the sort, but things would work very well if that is how his partner expresses their love. They wouldn't mind fetching him a drink, cooking something—or ordering out, if they can't... you know, stuff like that. It would make him feel very validated and cared for. I see that, for him, that's the ultimate type of devotion.
The last thing I can imagine he'd consider is whether they can take his teasing and antics or not. Yangyang's affection is really not shown through super heartfelt, sugar-coated moments; quite the opposite, actually. If he feels happy around someone, his way of showing it is that playful banter, insults and teasing, you know? He really wouldn't know what to do if the person takes everything he says to heart, like—Yangyang.exe has stopped working. So, yeah. A thick skin and elastic heart are a great combo for my boy.
Bonus: he'd lowkey cry if they get super hyped with his work as an artist. PLEASE praise his dancing, rapping, visuals and all. I don't think many people do, and even if he denies it, the compliments make him all fuzzy inside. #appreciateyangyang2021, he's underrated af.
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final notes: head empty, no thoughts, just 90′s love yangyang
#qian kun#nct ten#dong sicheng#winwin#lucas wong#wong yukhei#xiaojun#xiao dejun#hendery#wong kunhang#yangyang#liu yangyang#wayv kun#kun x reader#wayv ten#superm ten#ten x reader#nct winwin#wayv winwin#winwin x reader#nct kun#nct lucas#wayv lucas#superm lucas#lucas x reader#nct xiaojun#wayv xiaojun#xiaojun x reader#wayv hendery#nct hendery
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Hello all my fellow American Gods fans!!!
So a few days ago I heard the news that American Gods was being cancelled...
I was devastated, as I’m sure many of us are as well, though I can’t say that I’m all that surprised. The show has had continued turmoil behind the scenes since the very beginning. The treatment of Orlando Jones by the season 3 writers is reprehensible, and the AG fandom reacted strongly to it. And apparently viewership dropped as much as much as 60% (source) during season 3, so it makes sense that the network would elect to cancel the series.
BUT despite the sorrow we feel now I think there are multiple silver linings here!!
For one, we will be getting some kind of closure from American Gods. Neil Gaiman himself tweeted that there will be more AG content coming, it just won’t be under the umbrella of the show itself. It might be a stand alone movie, it might be something else.
And also, this cancellation means that the plot is now completely in our hands! It’s ours to do with what we will and we don’t need to be as concerned with the direction the show will take. Now that, my good friends, means I’m bringing Sweeney back from the dead ASAP!
In an effort to soothe our collective sorrow over this cancelation I thought I’d give a little update on the WIPs I’ve got on the burner which star our favorite big, angry leprechaun, for anyone who is interested!!
SO, without further ado, roll the list!
All That Glitters - Despite the utterly embarrassing amount of time since I posted the last chapter, this fic is still active! I’d say this fic is about 65-70% done. I have about 5-7 more chapters planned, but as always I’m open to expanding and altering my planned story plot depending on feedback my wonderful readers! After the last chapter’s big reveal, suffice to say I have some awesome things planned for this story!! I’m going to aim for an update within the month.
Request from the lovely @raspberrymama - Sweeney x reader + sex pollen. Yeah fam, you heard that right. Sex pollen. This story is 60% written, I plan to post as soon as it’s finished!
Request from @shaw-2000 - Sweeney x Reader; pending
Request from freya - Sweeney x reader Reader is an artist with the Sight, she who makes a living drawing real fairies into illustrations, and one day she stumbles upon Sweeney! I’m super excited for this one, and it’s about 30% written. As with all requests, I’ll post as soon as it’s finished!
One Shot Idea (potentially for a monthly AG challenge?) - Sweeney x Reader + thigh riding!! Literally sparked by a random idea I got one day. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any Sweeney fics featuring thigh riding so I thought I’d take a stab at it! This one is in the early stages, but I’d love to know what you think - would you read this??
Potential Pablo Schreiber fic - Pablo x Reader; okay so I’ve never actually written fic for real people but I had an insane dream the other night that inspired this. It would basically be a short multi-chapter fic that details a hot and heavy relationship. Maybe you’re working on set and he notices you at a wrap party? There’d be potential pool sex and definite on-set shenanigans. Maybe some bar/house sex.... What do you guys think?? I haven’t really delved into the world of writing for real people so I’d love your feedback!!
I do hope that this helps soothe the hurt of the American Gods cancellation!! I for one an excited to take full creative license and run with the characters that this amazing show has fleshed out.
I’m gonna tag a few friends that I think might be interested in this, no pressure if you’re not into it!!
@raspberrymama
@guiltgoldglory
@shaw-2000
@symphonyofmars
@pinkleopardss
@beansidhefeatherfluff
@blog-lady-vi
@alexa4040
@hiddlebatchedloki
@chloe-the-fool
Please don’t hesitate to DM me and let me know if you want to be added/removed to the tag list!! Love you all!
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Sharing Saturday - a List of Fic Recs
I haven’t restricted this to a number but I’m also doing my best to keep it from going out of control, too. I pretty much just have 2 consistent fandoms that I read/write so if you like either the MCU or Sherlock then this is the post for you!
MCU:
Adventures Throughout the Multiverse (Series) by Aelaer Jumping into different dimensions always involves risk. Sometimes you never know what sort of troubles you will run into until you have arrived. Thankfully, alongside these dangers a sorcerer is sometimes lucky enough to come upon unexpected allies.
In which Stephen encounters characters from characters from JRR Tolkien to even his own doppelgänger in Sherlock Holmes. I LOVE these!! Not only supremely clever and lovingly researched but just straight up entertaining as fuck! @aelaer writes some of the best Doctor Strange fic that I’ve read on on top of all that is a spectacular artist besides!
Omertà by HanukoYoukai After chasing down the criminal that took Uncle Ben's life, Peter is found by James Wesley, the right-hand man of Wilson Fisk--a wealthy businessman trying to clean up Hell's Kitchen. Having left a strong impression on the man, soon Peter finds himself working for Fisk, doing an internship for his business projects by day, and catching bad guys at night. If Mr. Fisk wants a few specific criminals delivered to him personally, who is Peter to object? All his boss wants to do is talk, after all, and ever since this internship began, things were finally looking up for the Parkers. Then Peter hears the whispers in the underworld about the elusive and terrifying Kingpin, and somehow there are rumors that Spider-Man is on the Crime Lord's payroll. When he decides to use his own judgement and go against Mr. Fisk's wishes, Peter suddenly finds himself neck deep in mob activity with no means to get himself out. To make matters worse, now Iron Man has Peter in his sights.....
I LOVE her writing - the interpretations of Peter Parker and fantastic and do right by him in a big way. Peter is actually the teenager I expect to encounter - with all of the nuance and emotion that I want to see! On top of that THIS is some top notch Tony Stark - again, very true to canon with his Stark snark intact!
Identity Saga (Series) by KitCat992 An organically developed, platonic slow-burn of Avengers-fam dynamic with a heavy hand of Irondad & Spiderson. Throw in an overdose of whump, a couple of cunning villains and a big-bad hiding in the shadows, and you got yourself this hot mess.
Another stunning Peter Parker writer and OH my gosh if you are an IronDad fan and haven’t read this yet like what in THE hell are you doing?? Strap that seatbelt tight and paste your eyeballs to this series you will NOT be disappointed!
A Twisted Upheaval (WIP) by silentsaebyeok “I’m afraid, Harrison, you’ve awakened a sleeping giant.” Wilson said. “Tony Stark will do anything and everything to protect those he loves. And with your carelessness, it is inevitable that my criminal empire will be brought to its knees. This is your last opportunity, your last chance to get this right. He is on our radar now.” -- The Kingpin runs the criminal underworld. He is the mastermind and the puppeteer. Tony Stark has been trying to find the elusive gangster for years, but with no luck. But then Peter Parker is kidnapped by an agent of the Kingpin’s, revealing the cracks in an otherwise unshakeable organization. Unlikely alliances form and friendships are made as the criminal underworld begins to unravel.
*Smacks my desktop* THIS story!! It isn’t even completed yet but this fic is top level epic! This one, along with Omertà, got me totally hooked on Wilson Fisk interfering with both Peter and Tony and boy does it deliver on those dynamics!!
Sherlock:
Got My Eye on You (Series) by 7PercentSolution These stories cover just about everything from Greg's POV, from the first day they met when Sherlock was 17 through the pre-John years, John's arrival, their work together, the fall and the reunion, covering events in broadcast series 1-3 (and 4 eventually). If you ever wondered why Greg Lestrade was one of the three people Moriarty targeted, this is your answer.
Frankly I love everything I’ve read so far - the stories are incredible and deep and not afraid to dig into hard subjects. There is a wealth of backstory and Sherlock’s younger years and all the hardships he dealt with. I’m especially in love with the OC, Sam - what a treasured character!
It takes John Watson to save your life. by Sparkypip A series of One shots where John saves Sherlock's life in so many ways. Will be updated sporadically as and when I get any time to write. As always I like my characters hurt, so plenty of angst, H/C, whump and bromance (no slash) will ensue. Please comment if you can.
These were some of the first Sherlock fics I ever read and I have been hooked on this writer to this day! SO satisfyingly whumpy and on top of that many of the stories have their own comfort follow up story!!
A Sharp, Dressed Man 'verse (Series) by sgam76
I just love this series to bits and while the author considers is a break from heavier subjects, don’t for one second think that means it can’t take a deep dive into its own mythology nor deliver a freaking spectacular tale! I have loved vampire AU for a long time and this series is pure delight and hits every damn button for me! You want a cool interpretation of vampires? BAM! You want family dynamics to the extreme? BAM AGAIN! You want exploration of creature angst? BAM BAM BAAAAM!!! I’ve already read through these three or five times and I can promise I will do so again!
The Chemist by TheGracefulBlueCat Sherlock returns to Baker Street and faces detox. But he feels too exhausted and bad to go through it fully conscious, so he - once more - uses his mind palace to distract him with an old case. But due to his drug issues and the tension between him and John things don't work as smoothly as everyone hoped they would, confronting Sherlock and all his friends with more of their demons than they would have liked to.
This writer is absolutely on-point with the writing of these characters - especially Sherlock. It was primarily through this writing that I felt I got such a good view of why the interpretation of Sherlock as autistic makes sense - but that it is the only truly logical conclusion. Not to mention the fanart @ceruleanmindpalace (same person) creates will leave you breathless!!
Who You Really Are (Series) by EnglandsGray So very like her, to take something he would otherwise find inconsequential – boring – and transform it into something he couldn’t live without...For Sherlock, after Sherrinford, none of the worlds he inhabits will ever be the same again. He can see a way to rebuild, but he is terrified. For Molly Hooper, strength is something she feels she is losing by the day, but the time has come for her to stand her ground.
Ohhhh my gosh like deep dive right into the pit of angst! And yet so soft and precious. This first story of the series is one that I’m still going through and it is unbelievably rich and welling with delicious plot stuff and relationship and hurt/comfort and just - you gotta read iiit!!!
He Is Different, This One by ASilvergirl How would the Serbian "interrogation" go if his captors knew that Sherlock was neuroatypical and had synaesthesia? This is an alternate version of the scene from "The Empty Hearse."
I mean, how could I not love this fic? For the record I’m still not even a little bit tired of fics that explore what may have happened in Serbia. It is just one of the most unresolved moments in the series - going from that damn beating to him walking in on John like I NEED MOOORE!!! And this fic gives me SO much more than I could have expected! Plus I’m always doubly onboard with a story that depicts Sherlock as neuroatypical.
There are sooooo many more fics I could link!! As it is I’ve been at this for about 3 hours and I’m dropping to the floor. But to see the rest of the stories I’ve loved please check out my bookmarks!
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F9: What does Absurdity even mean anymore?
Due to COVID, I thought that my last movie theater experience was going to be "Bad Boys For Life". I'm happy to say that if I died today, I would be telling souls in Heaven that "F9" was the last movie I saw on the big screen (I'm sure that films are big talking points in the after life).
There weren't too many people there:
There was a woman coughing in the corner; I barely looked at her. I imagined that COVID was mugging her, and I didn't want to be a witness, and so have COVID come after me next. I'm vaxxed, but still I was thinking of ways to distract COVID, so I could enjoy the film. There was an old couple sitting up front (like REALLY OLD... sitting UP FRONT... Ha! that's awesome). Awesome or not, I was going to point them out if COVID came after me. There were two obese kids sitting a few rows behind me that I could also point out, as well as my friend that I was sitting next to... what?? Look, they would ALL want me to escape, so I could bring my "F9" review to the people!
WHAT??!
Let's not talk about my survival skills, let's talk some Vin & the Fam - that's why we're here!
It took a while for me to remember what was going on:
Dom (Vin), Letty (M. Rod), and their... kid? Oh, right, they have a kid, and they moved on to start a new life together.
Didn't the real mom die or something?? Idk. You've got the British lady from "GOT" still hanging out with Luda and Tyrese.
(they so crazy)
"Hobbs and Shaw" are still gone
(making their own money, cuz bleep family!).
Brian (Paul Walker's character - rip) is apparently, now everyone's babysitter. So, if anyone in this gang, who could die on any of these missions, ever have kids, they can just send them off to Nanny Brian's.
There's a dude named Mr. Nobody who sometimes sends the gang on secret spy missions.
Oh, and people in the gang keep coming back from the dead. Boom! We're caught up with this absurdity. That's actually what I asked for when I got to the movies
"Give me one ticket for Absurdity please."
In this batch of the absurd, we find out that Dom has a brother, and he's John Cena (Jakob).
Charlize Theron is back! That must have been the worst bet that she has ever lost. I consider her to be one of the most underrated and underappreciated actors we've got, but movies like these ain't helping that case.
And who's idea was it to give her that haircut? - part of the bet she lost, I suppose.
It was reported that the gang goes into space (at least two of them do).
Annnnd the X-Men Jet is back!
(it really does look like that - Wolverine included)
Seriously, after the X-Men's last two movies (which were turrrible), I was expecting them to crossover for a fresh start. Why not?? They're a spy team now, that goes to space! - nothing should be off the table.
They're looking for two halves of some... war sphere?? If put back together with some key... idk... John Cena rules the world.
Remember when Vin and the gang were all about street racing, money, survival, and brown booty? - those were simpler times!
But, why discuss the plot? Seriously, why? None of it makes any sense. From Dom and Letty living like Amish people (which is an ending worse than death for action heroes)
to their convoluted explanation for bringing the latest person back from the dead (which reminds me of a married couple, when the husband or wife get caught watching porn, and try to explain that it was just a pop-up that came out of nowhere. The other spouse gulps their glass of wine and plows forward - that was me with this - gulping my soda (with a lil Henny) saying "whatever guys, let's please just move on".
and what's going on with the two brother's is a thin thread at best. AND the villain's motivation...
But, it's foolish to get into that., and take points off. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, but it ain't for the story. Let's grade "F9" by its own standards:
Racing, Action, and Family (they graduated from booty to family):
Racing
They've done the racing in a small city thing before, but this time it's with magnets! - SUPER MAGNETS!
YES!
I loved this! Cars are getting sucked into magnets. They're using them to make people fly away and explode. Which btw, they did my man Francis Ngannou wrong (an mma fighter). There's a fight scene with a giant white dude on top of a speeding vehicle. That giant white dude could have and should have been the role for Francis, instead he's just here to say high, and then blow up. As much as I loved these scenes, they were too quick in some areas. I think if they had slowed some of the magnet stuff down a bit, we could appreciate more what's happening.
Action
M.Rod is legit.
She needs her own franchise. The only action star I enjoyed more than her was Vin, and that's really due to the absurdity of one scene. Do y'all remember the "Civil War" scene when Captain America has one hand on a building and another pulling back a helicopter??
It's the same level of strength needed for what Vin does in some underground chambers. You can see a bit of it in the trailer. He pulls the whole place down, and then, just like in "Civil War", he ends up in the water (but unconscious). Oh, and he does this after beating up like 50 people at once. Ha! I love it! Then, how he is rescued (cuz c'mon, he can't die) is splendidly preposterous, and I mean that is a complimentary way. That scene is perfection.
The only action that bothers me comes from Dom's sister (mia).
She just doesn't sell being a fighter, but whatever. No disrespect... she’s beautiful, but... her hair might weigh more than the rest of her body.
Apparently, the highest trained fighters (agents) in the world (who have GUNS) never trained for a unskilled, unprepared, 110 lb woman in her 40's with a frying pan.
Family & Corona
Tyrese and Luda are always funny, but their act is growing a bit thin. It actually felt like an act this time around. I think it's time to add another black man in the mix; perhaps one who's older than they are... TRACY MORGAN?
Throw an OG in there and it'll freshen things up again. I do like though how Tyrese is starting to suspect that they might be immortals. I think they should test that theory out in the next movie; maybe have Tyrese break the fourth wall, kinda like Deadpool, as he realizes this is just a dumbass movie.
Dom and Letty's kid... terrible. I'm sorry! This is a bias of mine, but kids normally suck at acting. This one is no exception. Just get an older actor to play the young kid. I'm thinking Ryan Reynolds would have been a good choice.
You may be saying "that's absurd!" - I'm glad that y'all can still tell what that word means, cuz I can't.
The rest of the chemistry family magic is great!
Oh, and Cardi is here, but... barely (for like 30 seconds, if that).
No rapping, no wapping, no cursing... kind of a waste of Cardi B, if you ask me.
John Cena aka Jakob with a K!
Meh. JC def has charisma, just not in this movie. He doesn't stand out at all. You know?? - The Rock, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, etc all have a presence about them in this franchise. Cena?! what happened, buddy?
There are certain music artists whom you'd think would have a great personality based off their music and how they dress. But, then you meet them, and you realize that they're just normal bozos like you and I (only rich and famous). And normal bozos like you and I, AT TIMES can be boring. You gotta have some flair if you're not going to have personality. Give my man some pink glittery highlights, a face tat, some vampire teeth, and maybe a chainsaw for his left arm or something.
Grade: Good action. The absurdities were funny. I was entertained! Production was great! BUT it's getting tired, my friends. It's the same formula that I've mentioned and then, like always, they're grilling and drinking Corona's in the sun. After nine movies (with at least two more on the way)... I never thought I'd say this, but it's actually not absurd enough. Wait... I seriously can't believe I just said that.
I need to say that again to know it's real.
This movie wasn't absurd.. enough? ENOUGH. IT WASN'T! They're going to need to step it up for the next two.
They were in space, but not for long. They raced for the most part in regular cars (regular for them). . You only brought ONE person back from the dead??! C'mon! We can do better.
I'm giving it an entertaining C+
I like that we saw different younger Dom's (during flashbacks) through time. I think that the next type of vehicle they bust out should be a DeLorean.
Y'all feel me?? TIME TRAVEL, baby!
Vin and the gang race through time! They can have Tracy Morgan. They'll each have a younger version (or older) of themselves join the group. Cardi B will actually do something this time - maybe turn into a car!
And maybe Cable shows up as they tie it to Marvel.
Think bigger, Vin!
#f9#john praphit#praphitproductions.com#action movies#movie reviews#marvel#praphit#vin diesel#michelle rodriguez#racing#fast and furious#cardi b
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Bin AU Headcanons
Part II of the (〃ω〃) 500 followers! unwritten-headcanon amnesty (some given in response to AO3 comment questions, and others given unsolicited, lol), this time for Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart and from me to you, my heart to yours
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian
Pre-Wei Wuxian’s first arrest, Lan Wangji was quietly volunteering as general legal aid (helping old migrants with their internet/other service contracts, helping women with their domestic violence paperwork), and then Wei Wuxian gets arrested at a protest and Lan Wangji is not there and he doesn’t know this area of law so he signs up to get involved with Activist Legal Support the next day.
Relatedly: Lan Wangji’s approach to helping Wei Wuxian has always been to turn up, do what needs to be done for Wei Wuxian to achieve his goals and then silently leave again. So when the two goobers eventually move in together (and are finally fully in each other’s space, and fully across each other’s movements), Wei Wuxian goes through a period of constant realisations like “Oh, Lan Zhan, you’re the one who’s been doing this? This as well?! THAT, TOO???”
Pre-fake dating, Lan Wangji knows that Wei Wuxian won’t keep any gifts given by secret admirers, but will shamelessly accept anything that Lan Wangji gives him outright as a friend (”friend”). He derives a petty satisfaction from that, and so has responded more than once to a gift-incident by giving Wei Wuxian a corresponding gift of his own:
So if he heard about the gift socks, he’d go out and get Wei Wuxian a pair of novelty There’s No Planet B! socks, which Wei Wuxian would naturally wear both immediately and proudly with his shortest pair of 4/5ths pants. (And Lan Wangji would stand next to him and somehow radiate smugness without making any change to his expression.)
Needless to say, Wei Wuxian has received a lot of Lan Wangji chocolate (chilli, fairtrade), lunches (homemade, nutritious) and other small items.
Wei Wuxian never even considers the possibility of not putting all his fake-dating eggs into the Lan Zhan basket. And also never stops to think about why that iss.
In re kungfu practice: when sparring against normal people, Lan Wangji does annoyed-leg-sweeps because of “I’ll bring you down every peg to the floor” reasons he’s too well-bred to voice.
Past recipients of this treatment have included:
Wen Chao,
Xue Yang at his most obnoxious
Jin Zixuan when gossip about his comments in re Jiang Yanli not being pretty or successful enough to date him (”I can’t believe my mum set me up with someone so mediocre”) is at its height.
This is pre-Wei Wuxian onstage-punch. That comes during the second round of gossip.
With Wei Wuxian (and only Wei Wuxian), however, it’s always leg sweeps and pinning, which is because of ... “irritation”.
The Phoenix Mountain Reserve photo has been Lan Wangji’s favourite shot of Wei Wuxian since it was made publicly available, but he couldn’t use it as a wallpaper for obvious reasons.
Then he agrees to the fake-dating, sees how far Wei Wuxian was going to take it and realised: chansu!
At some point during the fake-dating, Wei Wuxian escalates from the phone entry of Oppa to calling Lan Wangji “Oppa~!” in real life, and then from there to a full “Oppa! Saranghaeyo~!” with the arms-on-head love heart.
After n iterations of this, Lan Zhan responds with a mirror arms-on-head love heart and a deadpan “Saranghaeyo.” with his face still like (• _ •) and it’s an instant, supereffective K.O. for Wei Wuxian.
Every so often, when another one of his romantic overtures has soared right over Wei Wuxian’s head, Lan Wangji considers Jin Zixuan’s over-the-top demonstrations of affection and thinks (bleakly) “...Jin Zixuan got a singing telegram. Must I also resort to a singing telegram? ; _ ; “
In re: the concert hip-hop number, shirtlessness is the goal all along:
A-Qing (who is also a troublemaker on Lan Qiren’s radar - as soon as he receives the form that says that she and Wei Wuxian will be working together, his spidey senses start tingling) has been constantly referencing it throughout all their practices like:
“Well, because you’ll be shirtless, you’ll have to make sure to-”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea, totally do that, but remember that you’ll be shirtless too, so-”
Even Song Zichen and Xue Yang know about it and have been visibly bracing themselves for the dress (or undress, lul) rehearsal
Wei Wuxian has missed all of this because of his amazing tunnel vision.
Speaking of Song Zichen and Xue Yang, while they’re having their Moments:
Xiao Xingchen is swanning around like “But do you think the performance had artistic integrity? A-Qing, I’m a little worried that the choreography didn’t do full justice to the abilities of all our members! I hope they don’t think I’m hogging the limelight!”, taunting them with his half-nakedness while he earnestly tries to make sure that all the other dancers are comfortable and happy with the final arrangement
A-Qing fully notices the heart-eye beams shooting over from the wings (and fully notices the same heart-eye beams shooting over during various practices), briefly thinks about saying something to put the two losers out of their misery (because Xiao Xingchen is not the special level of oblivious that Wei Wuxian is), but then thinks ... nah.
During practice back-painting, Wei Wuxian is so focused on Not Looking that his mistimes his ~sexy stretch~ and gets it in precisely when Lan Wangji has turned his back to get the towel, so it really is all for nothing, RIP.
In the reprise back-painting session (and there definitely is one, what with Lan Wangji’s love for marking and the fact that Chinese calligraphers usually sign their name on their work), the levels of both shamelessness and trolling shoot through the roof on both sides:
Wei Wuxian suddenly feels the need to do a lot more whimpering and moaning, and his flinches of “surprise” and wriggling to “get comfortable” suddenly happen a lot more in the hip area than they did before.
Lan Wangji does a lot more touching of the skin he’s about to paint to “warn” Wei Wuxian that the brush is coming (do warnings have to be quite so ... lingering? Only Lan Wangji knows), discovers a sudden need for wrist-pinning to “hold Wei Wuxian still while he works” and his blowing on ink to get it dry suddenly gets a lot more ... sensual ...
Lan Wangji is the teacher that all his babies are always proposing to. They lOvE him with every inch of their tiny baby hearts, and after they get together, Wei Wuxian watches on with a knowing nod, like “My fam, I getcha. Gege will support you in expressing your feelings and we can ALL win!”
Wei Wuxian doesn’t know it, but he has a group of grannies and grandpas wringing their hands over his happiness, too: It’s all well and good that he’s seeing the Lan boy now, but when are they gonna get married, huh? HUH?! WHAT’S THE POINT OF SAVING THE PLANET IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA FILL IT WITH BABIES, WEI WUXIAN???
So once they officially start dating, Wei Wuxian steps into the Cultural Centre like “Ah, our fresh new romance! Even after all this time of fake-dating, I’d better give people some transition time to get used to this new state of affairs!”
And in the background, 73 aunties and grannies are thinking “Look how behind schedule you are, Wei Wuxian!” (because it’s definitely his fault, and not Lan Wangji’s). “Where are the babies? WHERE ARE THE BABIES??”
The wedding advice Wei Wuxian got from the grannies during Mianmian’s wedding prep is liberally flavoured with real life anecdotes like:
“Don’t be like XX’s son. He made the mistake of trying to skimp on the dowry - so disrespectful to people who’ve poured so much love and energy into raising a daughter - and it poisoned the entire relationship.”
“That venue is no good - YY’s daughter had her reception there, and we all had diarrhoea after eating the prawns.”
(And Wei Wuxian is like: “How can you retain all of this bullshit detail about every wedding the Cultural Society has ever witnessed, but still not know how to say the phrase ‘Excuse me, what time is the bus coming’ in English?!”)
Mianmian definitely also gets strong-armed by her excited mother into some glorious(ly terrible) Chinese-style studio wedding photos (with industrial-strength airbrushing and wedding costume changes that span many cultures and many Chinese time periods).
Mianmian swears to never let Wei Wuxian get his grubby hands on that album, on pain of death.
But then her parents host something, and Wei Wuxian goes, and right there, hanging in their living room, is a floor-to-ceiling calendar, featuring Mianmian and Mian-man dressed as Chinese emperor and empress (because Mianmian certainly didn’t want it in her house, but it came with the package.)
Wei Wuxian makes a noise that Mianmian previously thought only dolphins could produce, and proceeds to take SO MANY photos with his phone.
At some point after Mianmian’s wedding, Lan Wangji comes out of the shower to find:
1 pair of pyjama bottoms waiting for him on the bed; and
Wei Wuxian in the corresponding top (which doesn’t cover his butt after all, but whatever, he’s committed), shooting him a double-thumbs up and wearing an expression like 8D!
(And Lan Wangji decides it’s not worth fighting and just goes with it.)
Lan Qiren
Lan Qiren is totally the kind of parent who never boasts about his children directly, but will listen politely to you telling him about how your son scored 86 in his maths examination, and wait for you to obligation-ask about his kids before casually saying, “Oh, Wangji? He scored full marks” and smiling thinly.
He’ll add “Sounds like your son worked really hard” for extra fuck you value if you were being particularly obnoxious.
The greatest tragedy in his parenting life is realising that if your children are The Best, it’s only possible for them to marry down.
His initial feelings regarding Wei Wuxian dating his nephew can probably be summed up as: “Wei Wuxian, I did not lovingly raise my precious Lan Wangji just to give him to you!!!”
(The problem is that his nephew (inexplicably) likes Wei Wuxian so much, mumblegrumble.)
For weeks after The Resentment of Lan Qiren, every time Lan Qiren sees Wen Ning, he shakes his head sadly to himself and mutters “What a shame, what a shame.”
When Wen Ning responds with a slightly panicked “?!”, Lan Qiren just pats him on the shoulder, like, “No, no, it’s not you. We can’t choose our relatives. And isn’t that the greatest shame in the world?” - and then DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.
And after many bouts of thinking and rethinking still lead him to the conclusion that Wei Wuxian is the best choice in comparison to all the other available options, Lan Qiren may or may not visit Cangse Sanren’s grave to burn some incense for an excuse to stand there and offer a sullen, “You fukken got me again, you bastard. I can’t believe you.”
He doesn’t know who he hates more:
Wei Wuxian for being himself and yet still the best choice
Cangse Sanren for not letting being dead stop her from continuing to be a thorn in Lan Qiren’s side
Wen Ruohan for being undesirable enough to disqualify the only valid competitor
The other parents for failing to produce children who are better than Wei Wuxian
(Like: Surely it can’t be that hard if he (+ his brother + his sister-in law) managed to produce two)
So he settles for hating everyone.
For his next birthday, Lan Xichen sends him a box of blood-pressure-lowering supplements.
Lan Qiren is like “!!!” but he still takes them because just because his nephew is being impudent does not mean there is not also a Need.
In re 3zun:
Lan Qiren goes around determinedly Not Thinking about Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. Every time his eyes approach something he doesn’t want to see, he just turns his head like NOPE.
He eventually realises that he and Wei Wuxian have this in common and that Wei Wuxian is therefore his most valuable ally - both in terms of having someone to pivot to and have very loud, very enthusiastic conversations about anything else whenever the 3zun do something they don’t want to see, and also having someone to commiserate with about Not Wanting to Know. (But because they’re them, they alternate between teaming up for self-preservation and using their mutual weakness to take petty jabs at each other.)
"-If two of them are dating, then where does that leave the third one?!"
"RIGHT? Imagine finding out that they were silently pining away, forced to third-wheel for their unrequited love and best friend - unrequited LOVES AND BEST FRIENDS? What would you say to that?!"
"That's not even considering which one the third wheel would be - I honestly don't know which option would be the worst, they're all terrible."
"I'm almost ready to say that I'd rather they all be dating each other, except then I'd have to think about how that would work, dynamic-wise, like - who calls the shots? Do you think Nie Mingjue is domineering all the time, or do you think it’s a public front, and he then goes home to be dominated by-"
“STOP.”
Even before 3zun get together (both Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian have chosen to Never Know when this is), Jin Guangyao is throwing out suggestive comments left and right and then immediately whipping out his (◔◡◔✿) face for anyone’s double-take:
50% to test the waters of public sentiment before he makes a move and it actually becomes his problem
50% because he’s a troll who likes dominance displays
Knowing this factoid, one of Wei Wuxian’s mental 3zun Dynamics possibilities features Superdom!Jin Guangyao, but he does his best to avoid thinking about that.
After Lan Qiren mentally accepts Wei Wuxian into the fold:
He still internally responds to at least 50% of the things that Wei Wuxian does with “Why, that little shit”, but it’s also implied that Wei Wuxian is their little shit now.
And for Lan Family! Qiren, this means: If you shit on him, WE shit on you.
“Shufu”
Lan Qiren definitely Notices when Wei Wuxian calls him that, but it Doesn’t Do to make a fuss.
He probably has a conversation with Lan Xichen sometime around the first family dinner that goes:
LQR: You've noticed that he's still calling me 'Uncle Qiren' like we're nothing to each other.
LXC: ...If you want him to call you Shufu, should you perhaps not mention that to him?
LQR: What? No, he should already know these things!
And then after the wedding:
LQR: Your brother's boyfriend is finally acting like one of the family. LXC: Haha, oh my.
Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan
Although their mothers have been friends for ages, Jin Zixuan grows up in a different city, so they don't see each other growing up. The Jins later move for Jin Zixuan's high-flying corporate job, Madam Jin joins the Culture Society at her friend's behest and immediately falls in love with Jiang Yanli as a daughter-in-law.
After a lot of cajoling (in both directions), she gets them to agree to one date, which is a disaster (I have more headcanons about this but they won't fit in here)
Jin Zixuan has a lot of money and zero sense of proportion, which does not generally result in tasteful things. (Where Jiang Yanli is concerned, his desire to keep up a "cool" image is completely overpowered by his desire to please, so that doesn't help either. Like a golden retriever who wants people to think he's a cat.)
After they get married, Wei Wuxian sometimes thinks about the peacock's peacocking rituals, like: "It's good that he's gotten more reasonable now that they're married - no, wait, what if he hasn't gotten more reasonable, but there's just no one around to see it because they're married?!" and never gets brave enough to ask his sister about it.
After Jin Ling's birth, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and maybe even Jin Zixuan) get locked in an ongoing battle for Jin Ling's affections. Jiang Yanli is the clear favourite, as she should be, but they all want to be #2, and their constant jostling is how he ends up with no chill despite being raised by one calm mum and one aloof (but secretly disaster) dad
But because Jiang Yanli is around, he's very polite about it: the kind of kid who barrels in screaming blue murder, skids to a halt and says "Auntie", and then tears out screaming blue murder again
Wei Wuxian tones it down a lot after he and Lan Wangji adopt A-Yuan because he’s got better things to do, but it’s still A Thing (during visits, A-Yuan spends a lot of time in Auntie Yanli’s lap being gently fed things while his dad and shushu yell at each other over the top of his cousin’s head)
Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli
Initially brought together by their brothers, they now meet up for regular, peaceful, wholesome tea-dates where they discuss the lives of their mutuals and gently exchange advice (and strategies on how to keep their angry-angry parent/proxy-parent's blood pressure down.
Whereas Jiang Cheng gets closer to coughing up blood with every year that passes by without Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji getting their shit together, Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli take the more optimistic view of "Look at how well-prepared we are, we've just run another year ahead of schedule!"
Dinner Crew
Jiang Cheng has been the unwilling audience to years of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s bullshit.
If asked, he would say: “And you wonder why I’m so angry?! What do you mean ‘dating’, you’ve been fucking married for the last five years!” but no one ever does :’D
Every so often, he thinks about how happy their sister is about the dating situation because she doesn’t know that it’s fake, and he grinds his teeth because why can’t he also not-know!?
To this, Nie Huaisang says, “If we didn’t know we couldn’t help!”
And Jiang Cheng replies, “WE’RE NOT HELPING ANYWAY, LOOK AT HIM!!!”
Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli continues to gush about how happy she is for Wei Wuxian and all Jiang Cheng can do is laugh really unnaturally because he has to “Be strong, Jiang Cheng! Be strong for A-jie! ╥﹏╥”
He goes to read the comments on the Society Facebook after the fujoshi conversation, and gets so angry at all these people who are like “Ah, their love is so beautiful!” that he has to uninstall his Facebook app, and go and shout into a cupboard somewhere.
The non-Wei-Wuxian members of the dinner group have set up a separate chat to act as a support group, where they all go to:
Wail and gnash their teeth after Wei Wuxian does something particularly dumb
Scheme ways into getting Wei Wuxian to get a clue
Console one another when someone’s brave attempt at getting Wei Wuxian to face the truth fails miserably (because while they play by the rules of ‘what a normal human would do’, Wei Wuxian lives by the principle of ‘lol norms are for losers’.)
Relatedly: for every resigned Nie Huaisang face or enraged Jiang Cheng face that Wei Wuxian notices, there are at least three desperate-yet-silent exchanges that he doesn’t.
Wen Ning is always really optimistic about it, nodding encouragingly like “He’s gonna get it - he’s gonna get it! - oh no, he’s not gonna get it. Oh. Oh no. Ó╭╮Ò”
Wen Ning always has at least one small child hanging off him at all times when he’s at the Cultural Centre because they know he can always be bullied into playing with them and they think he’s great.
Past bullshit dinner group projects have included Getting Jiang Cheng a Date and Making a Picture out of Jin Guangyao’s Forehead Dot While He’s Sleeping
(In re the forehead dot, they end up settling for making it bigger every time he nods off during a movie night at Nie Huaisang’s house, and Nie Mingjue comes home to what’s basically a Japanese flag on Jin Guangyao’s forehead and is like ಠ_ಠ)
Future dinner group projects include providing Wei Wuxian with support for Grand Plans like Getting Along with Uncle Qiren and providing Jiang Cheng with unwanted support for things like Workshopping Jiang Cheng’s List of Partner Requirements
A-Yuan
After A-Yuan’s adoption, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren redouble their efforts in Can we divorce an in-law?! because although they couldn’t save themselves from being related to Jin Guangyao, for their PRECIOUS BOY--
Therefore, when A-Yuan is five or six and starts to sound out how he’s related to people and why:
A-Yuan: So if Jin-yeye is Uncle Guangyao’s dad, then that makes him my-
Wei Wuxian: NOTHING!
Lan Qiren (springing up from the other side of the room): NOTHING!
Lan Xichen: lol
At around about this same time, Wei Wuxian, who is never gonna stop trolling Lan Qiren about ruzhui until the day he dies, runs A-Yuan through the “You see, my son, my family is not so well-to-do, and since your Uncle married into the Nie family-” talk, and then proceeds to reference it at every opportunity:
1: Despite A-Yuan almost certainly not asking, and
2: despite (/especially because of) Lan Qiren shouting “DON’T TEACH HIM WEIRD THINGS!” in the background.
(Lan Wangji probably lets it happen or encourages it because he thinks it’s funny)
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Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????
AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!
OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG
ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going
ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.
ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!
miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-
parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.
rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)
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Why YGO Vrains is such an immeasurable disappointment: a list
First of all, I need to make it abundantly clear that Im a big fan of Vrains – I love Yusaku, Ryoken, Ai, Kusanagi... you see them very often on my dash. I fantasize about the ideal version of Vrains that’s written well, the Vrains that’s fully exploited its potentials, every night in my sleep. I wrote this list PRECISELY because I love Vrains. That’s why I got so frustrated with its cardinal writing issues (and production issues). It physically pains me to hear people calling Vrains the worst and most boring series of YGO – but the fact that I couldn’t argue against that because it’s true pains me more.
And now, an incomprehensive list of the faults of Yugioh Vrains.
1. What the fuck is wrong with the character designs (beside that of Yusaku and Ryoken???) Everyone looks aesthetically displeasing – characters in real life look incredibly boring they could easily drown in a crowd of background characters, but their avatars are OSTENTATIOUS. Seems like the character designer had no clue what “less is more” means – blue angel, soulburner, and Bohemann for example, look like they were immersed in a bucket of glue and then dumped into another bucket filled with random accessories.
(from a fan artist’s perspective���Im especially salty about takeru, akira, Kusanagi, and the Knights of Hanois’ designs…like, their designs don’t inspire me to draw. Their personalities might be interesting, but their looks lack the vibrant, enthusiastic energy that the 5Ds, Zexal, and Arc-V characters possess)
(imagine how many fanfics and fanarts of Kusanagi x Yusaku there would be had Kusanagi looked HALF as hot as Ryoken)
And don’t even get me started on the colour palette – whoever decided on the colours just cant make up their goddamn mind! Colour saturation is way off the charts, the range of colour is too wide the audience simply dont know where to focus.
2. Forgotten plotlines. Yusaku’s link sense? Hanoi’s spy in SOL? The Queen and the rest of the chess pieces? Yusaku’s forgotten memories? The rest of the victims of the Lost Incident? Just to name a few.
3. Character relationships are weak to minimal to none. Bonds and friendships – the vital element in all previous YGO series – is practically non-existent in Vrains. Where’s the camaraderie between our main casts (Yusaku, Aoi, Soulburner, Ema, Onizuka, etc…)? They don’t feel like a team fighting the evil together. They’re completely separate individuals who don’t give a single fuck if one of their…acquaintance…dies in a battle. We don’t have heartwarming moments of friendship blossoming and consolidating. It’s honestly such a let down.
4. Interesting and debatable topics thrown away. The conflict between artificial intelligence and humans could spark so many in-depth discussions, but then the writer just decided its all Lightening’s fault. No morally gray situations, no ambiguity between the line of good and evil. It’s just all Lightening and his petty jealousy… yeah.
Oh and if Ai lives on the world will blow up. Why? Do we have a concrete reason to back that statement? eh...
5. Overall quality of the animation. I don’t know if its because the animation staff was short on time or low on budget, but for a megacorporation (konami cough cough) that makes billions every year, they certainly are capable of investing more in this anime series. I can count the number of episodes in which the characters don’t look wacky with a single hand.
6. Character development, wasted potentials. Ryoken is the only character who received decent treatment. The rest of the Vrains cast are all disappointments. Original concepts are cool and promising – Yusaku, a victim of child abuse with PTSD, embarking on a journey to overcome his reclusiveness and learn to open up to people around him? HELL YEAH. Aoi, a teenage idol with depression developing into a more mature and responsible heroine who saves Link Vrains? IM ALL FOR IT. Soulburner’s character arc is fine overall but personally I don’t feel like it’s expanded enough. Also, there’s the mistreatment of side characters like Onizuka, Ema, Akira, the list goes on. I got so furious just looking at these characters and remembering that they’re all wasted and sidelined.
7. Incoherent/ random plotlines. IDK all episodes in season 1 (Hanoi’s arc) felt pretty consistent, focusing on a linear theme – Yusaku’s revenge on the Knights of Hanoi. But after that it felt like the writers gave up writing outlines and just wrote whatever he pleased/ considered more convenient for the sake of…a plot…that he had no idea which direction it was headed for. This is reflected in the amount of forgotten plotlines we listed previously.
8. Weak villains. Kinda related to point 4. Bohemann, Lightening, Windy, and Haru are all one-dimensional, flat, predictable villains with the cliché goal of “destroying humanity cuz humans are dumb and Ais are superior”. Not likeable, not fun to watch, not morally gray (something I expect from well-written antagonists), they are just there to serve as symbol of evil for the protags to defeat.
Honourable mentions - what I personally want to see in Vrains, really. Very biased.
- The familial interaction between Yusaku and Kusanagi? Brotherhood, perhaps? Without any mention of Yusaku’s parents, Kusanagi is the closest Yusaku has to a brother figure. I crave for some wholesome brotherly moments between these two.
- More slice of life episodes please.
- The friendship between Yusaku and Takeru. Please. Please. PLEASE. From the second opening we can see the animation staff CLEARLY intended for there to be a strong bond between Yusaku and Takeru – Takeru probably was written to serve as a Jounouchi/ Johan/ Crow sort of character. Yusaku and Takeru could bond over their trauma and overcome their PTSD together. AND IT WAS SO HEAVILY HINTED AT IN THE 2ND OP!!! fam what the fuck happened to that friendship, Im so robbed.
- Yusaku and Ryoken’s duel or tag duel. These two haven’t duelled AT ALL since the first season ended. Isn’t Ryoken Yusaku’s official rival? Isn’t it Yugioh tradition for the protag and the rival to duel like, a trillion times? AND ISNT IT ALSO A YUGIOH TRADITION FOR THE PROTAG AND THE RIVAL TO TAG DUEL?????? The fact that Yusaku and Ryoken never had a tag duel haunts me every night in my worst nightmares afjw4ot9wgrk
- Topologina Nabee
Thanks for coming to my ted talk, this marks the end of my rant on YGO VRAINS DISAPPOINTMENTS. Again, I harboured no malicious intent when I compiled the list – its more like a vent of frustration than actual criticism. I would pay billions to see a Vrains reboot or, if there exists an alternate universe where none of the writing/production issues above are present in Vrains, I would do a Kaiba and build a dimension travelling machine and immigrate there.
TLDR: wasted potentials. wAsTED PoTEntialS. WASTED POTENTIALS!!!!!!
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Forbidden Spicy Gatorade Chronicles Chapter One
A/n: Ok, so the cult is getting stronger by the minute so if you haven’t been introduced yet, don’t be offended! I’ll try to go through everyone and introduce you in the next chapter. Erica (@the-never-ending-void) has asked not to be included in this fic.
Key:
Tater - @a-lonely-tatertot
Lynn - @lesbilynnette
Gray - @silver-snow
Lilah - @tribblemakingalicorn
Cadence - me
Ivy - @imaramennoodle
Molly - @molly-sencen
Farris - @everyonehasthoughts
Speens - @an-absolute-travesty
Holes - @holesinmyfalseconfidence
Connor - @linhammon-roll-bromance101
Panda - @worldwidepandamonium
Meg - @ultralazycreatorfan
Word count: 2,382
Warnings: If you’re reading this, you already know what’s about to pop off
Lilah poked Cadence’s shoulder who promptly rolled over. Lilah poked her several more times, a bit more aggressively. Grumbling Cadence sat up quickly and smacked her head on the top of the bunk bed. She sighed, rubbing her forehead. Her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings, taking in the strangely black, purple, and gold aesthetic room.
“Why’d you wake me up?”
“You got a notification,” Lilah said, eyes wide open, handing her the phone, slowly walking out of their shared room.
Cadence furrowed her brows, unlocking the phone before calling out to her roommate. “Wait, how long have you been up?”
“OREOS!” she called back. “Where are the keys?”
“On the kitchen counter,” Cadence replied, checking her emails. 1 unread message from Gray, the AI developer who she made small talk with during lunch breaks.
Dear Cadence,
Good evening! There’s a new play coming out on Mainstreet, called The Facade, and I was approached by the team to create a promotional piece. I was hoping you could help, and we would split the rewards 50/50. The play is about a murder crime, which is plotted out in a series of intricate riddles. The plot twist: the lead detective was the murderer, and had been delaying her trial while she was pretending to gather evidence, and stealing from a suspect to gain enough money to flee. And her second in command was funding the plots without knowing that her boss was the mastermind behind it all.
Ok, now that my boss has read above the cut we can talk freely. The offer is real, and I WOULD like to split it 50/50, I just can’t stand talking all formal, y’know? Anyway, since you said you do animations and stuff as a side gig, I thought maybe you could make the animations, and I’ll edit and do the social networking? Idk, I’m just spitballing here, let me know what you think.
Also, Lilah directed me towards this email, she’s really good at tracking people down.
Sorry if I made any spelling mistakes, I haven’t slept in weeks,
Gray
“Huh,” Cadence huffed, glancing at the clock. 3 AM. She had time. So, grabbing her IPad, she opened Procreate and got to work. The Facade. Sounds interesting enough. But what to draw? A lock perhaps? A silhouette of the main character? Before she could decide, her phone buzzed again, a voice recording this time, from Lilah.
“Hey, so I just ran into two of the actresses from The Facade and they said they want to talk to you about it so you can create a better promotional vid, meet me at the local library, k bye.”
Cadence wished on a shooting star that at least an hour had passed by so the buses would be running. But how wrong she was. It was 3 AM. It was raining. And the library was at least a mile away.
“This should be fun,” she mumbled, grabbing her set of keys, her IPad, and a raincoat before jogging the mile it took to get to the library.
_______
By the time Cadence arrived her hair was drenched and she was so out of breath and tired she thought she was going to pass out. She looked for any sign of her roommate, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead, she saw three people sitting at a table chatting freely and crying laughing. The librarian wasn’t fazed in the slightest. On the contrary, they seemed to be enjoying it, leaning over the library’s registry system, talking with them. Quickly Googling “The Facade,” Cadence confirmed that the two ladies were the actresses from the play. The other one offered occasional comments, mostly just watching the occurrences that went on. Social anxiety kicked in and told her to run in the other direction, but she really needed the money. She forced herself to approach them.
“Hey, I’m Cadence,” I introduce myself nervously. “Lilah said you wanted to speak to me about promoting your play?”
“Cadence! Lilah mentioned your animations, and we thought it’d be a new, eye-catching way to get our work out there,” the first one chirped. “I’m Molly, by the way. I play the detective’s second in command.”
“And I’m Ivy,” the other one greeted. “I play the lead.”
Cadence expected the third person to introduce themself next, but the librarian took the initiative. “Hello, fellow human, you may address me as SPEENS, I accept liver sacrifices.”
“They do that all the time,” the third person assured her. “Tater, by the way. I’m not in the play, I’m just working on a novel with Molly. We met up here to talk to good ‘ol Speens when these bit-”
“Language,” Molly warned.
“When these lovely individuals,” Tater corrected, “decided to make this a research sesh for the book. As if we needed more work. I’m free to fly wherever the wind takes me.”
“Amen to that, sibling,” Speens responded solemnly, pulling five wine glasses and vodka out from under the desk like a bartender. Cadence looked confused, but not against it. “Say, where’s the rest of the crew? Lynn, Gray, Farris, and the lot of them?”
“Farris doesn’t work on the set,” Ivy reminded her. “They’re an archaeologist. Holes makes the sets for us.”
Speens wrinkled their nose, seemingly in disgust. “And the others?”
“Well, if you can take a break, we can meet up with them at the theatre. Even Farris, since I heard their last trip was a bust,” Molly offered.
Without a second thought, Speens put up a sign that read “The Librarian is Out.”
“Do they-”
“All the time,” Ivy nodded. “It’s kinda their thing.”
“But, yeah, Farris and Connor tend to hang around the set,” Molly explained. “They don’t bother anyone, no one bothers them. They’re a bit older, kinda like the authority figures of the group.”
“If authority figures would let you make a dumba-”
“Tater,” Ivy nudged.
Tater changed their wording. “-unwise move in order to see what would happen.”
“They’re responsible for us without being responsible for us, if that makes sense,” Ivy commented. “Let’s get going though, before someone blows something up.” She shot a sideways glance at Speens, who put a hand up in surrender.
________
Ivy swung open the doors to the theatre and immediately had to duck for cover. “What the HELL, Connor?”
They were holding onto some theatre seats, zooming back and forth the row on rollerblades, occasionally losing balance and having to sit down. After a particularly messy turn-around, they decided to crawl over to the red carpeted steps and laid there for a moment. Farris was perched in a seat a row down, calming watching as Connor seemed to be having an existential crisis. Upon seeing Tater and Cadence, Farris got up, carefully stepping around Connor. “New kids?”
“Farris, this is Tater, and that’s Cadence,” Ivy helped. “They’re helping us promote the play.”
“Congratulations, you’re adopted,” they vowed, though Tater looked confused. “What? I don’t make the rules. Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be the responsible one…. Ok, so I make the rules, but they can be bent if the alternative’s interesting enough. Right, Connor?”
“Uh huh,” he called from the floor tiredly. If he hadn’t spoken, he would have been deemed dead.
“Lynn and the rest of the gang are in the back,” Farris informed them, pulling a skateboard from under their seat and helping Connor stand. Connor’s rollerblades flailed a bit as he struggled to get up, but his arm was slung around Farris’s shoulder, supporting him.
“DO A KICKFLIP,” Connor prompted, his words slurred.
“Are you kidding, I haven’t skateboarded since I was six, I need an actual skate park to practice that,” Farris recounted. “And how drunk are you?”
“Yes,” he responded, giggling in a hiccupy way. “Does anyone have more vodka?”
“I got you fam,” Speens said, pulling out a suitcase of alcohol from thin air.
“Anyways,” Ivy interjected, trying to get the conversation back on track. “I’ll go get the others, wait here.”
Ivy returned with Gray, Lynn, Holes, Panda, and Meg, and introduced them accordingly. “Gray works on the special effects, Lynn designed everyone’s costumes, Holes makes the set, Panda is a theatre critic, and Meg is our concept artist.”
“So, other than animation, is there anything else you bring to the table?” Molly asked.
“Well, I do glass art,” Cadence supplied. “It’s probably not relevant, but when it’s still really hot and glowy, which is when you can shape it, it looks like it would make a good snack. Hell, it almost looks like Gatorade. I can show a picture if you’d like.”
Cadence took her phone out and everyone crowded around to see.
“More like Powerade, Gatorade doesn’t come in that kind of blue,” Speens added.
“F O R B I D D E N S P I C Y G A T O R A D E,” Connor yelled, startling Farris.
“NO,” Holes countered, clearly distressed. “Do NOT drink molten glass. You’d die!”
“You call it death, I call it adventure,” Molly smirked. “I’m here for it. C’mon Holes, live a little.”
“Sis, how have you made it to adulthood thinking like that?” Lynn questioned, looking a bit scared.
“And I know how to live, I’m living right now!” Holes countered.
“Sure you are, nerd.” Molly rolled her eyes. “And how many near death experiences have you had, huh?”
“Near death- okay, first of all, I am not a nerd-”
“You kinda are,” Tater mumbled. Holes gasped, putting a hand over her heart as if they were betrayed. “What? You are. You make a living off of reading books.”
“Used to, friend,” Holes clarified. “I’m a freelance artist now. I picked up this gig because of these fools. And good thing too, because now you’re about to poison yourselves! Second of all, um, none?! How many have you had?”
Molly clicked her tongue in disappointment. “Five. Blended corn, acorns, eating soap, eating paper, and an intense game of dodgeball. I haven’t even peaked with these experiences yet.”
“Immortal until proven mortal,” Connor finished for her.
Meg stood next to Molly and held her shoulders. “This girl, she’s going places.”
“Meg, not you, too, I swear to god-”
“sLuRp,” Ivy joined in, grinning from ear to ear.
Holes was getting hysterical. “What the actual hell is going on? Lynn, help me out here.”
“The Gatorade is Forbidden for a reason, kids,” Lynn tried to reason.
Gray stood up with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “Where can we get it?”
“From the crunchy forbidden chocolate powder, of course,” Connor chimed in. Panda gave him a high-five while Holes became paler and paler from the cult forming in front of their eyes.
“This one speaks the truth,” Panda shrugged.
“Ok, what even is crunchy forbidden chocolate powder?”
“Sand, duh,” Connor said matter of factly. “Add some vodka, a martini, and some olives, and you got one heck of a slushie.”
“So that means there must be Forbidden Chewy Lettuce and Flavoured Forbidden Chewy Lettuce,” Tater went on. “Grass and flower petals. Cursed, but not wrong.”
“Ooh, and crackle air can be limestones and sodium carbonate, pies are dirt, bread is wood, and hard candy is metal,” Panda proclaimed.
“Fidget spinners are Forbidden Bagels, too,” Connor helped. “I should know, I tried the other day and cut my lip.”
Farris ignored the last part of Connor’s rant. “The variety pack, I like the sound of that.”
“Farris you’re supposed to look after us and you’re condoning this?!” Holes shouted.
Farris mounted his skateboard. “I’m not condoning anything. I’m enabling and hyping them up without joining in. That’s some big brain stuff.”
“This is why they control the brain cell,” Ivy nodded. “WAIT, ARE MY CHICKEN NUGGETS BURNING?!”
“Ives, you literally set a timer on the microwave backstage, you’re fine,” Tater reassured Ivy, holding her from running to check on her meal.
“Oh, like you know anything about microwaves,” Ivy argued. “You microwave ice cream.”
“It takes too long to soften, and I’m impatient,” Tater defended, turning to address Holes. “And it is eaten with a spoon.”
“Do not start this debate again- you know what, Panda, get ice cream from the mini-fridge, we’re settling this here and now,” Holes demanded.
“I think the real question is why is ice cream so hard,” Speens mentioned as Panda brought a tub of Haagen Daz ice cream. Holes used a fork to attempt to chisel out part of the snack. It wasn’t very successful.
“I think that’s just how Haagen Daz works,” Cadence observed.
Holes saw this as an opportunity to gain some momentum in the argument. “Not just this brand! All ice cream works like that!!!”
“No,” Panda objected. “Not Breyer’s. That stuff is always just right when you need it. Hashtag not sponsored.”
“Did you just break the fourth wall?” Lynn asked. “You know what, I don’t wanna know, just for the love of all that is good in this world please don’t drink the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade.”
“Too late,” Cadence said. “It’s easily accessible. Also, I’m calling E so we can recruit her.”
“Holes, I know you’re hiding it from us,” Molly speculated.
“What are you talking-”
“You’re keeping the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade all to yourself because you know of its power and you want it all to yourself.”
“I don’t HAVE the Gatorade, and I’m explicitly telling you it’s going to kill you if you drink it!”
As the bickering went on, Lynn slipped off to the vacant staff lounge to pull out her phone. There had to be a supplier somewhere who would give them this. She searched for a few minutes, and, after a few dead ends, she finally found an investor. “Cha-ching. Forbidden Incorporated is in business,” Lynn smiled to herself.
“Forbidden Incorporated, eh?” Farris asked from the doorway. Lynn froze and cursed herself for forgetting to lock the door. Now Farris knew of her plans. “Tell you what, I’ll keep your secret under one condition: We split the money 50/50, and get equal control over the decisions. So, deal?”
Lynn hesitated. She wasn’t sure she could trust Farris, but seeing as this was the only way to stop Holes from knowing just yet, she had no other choice. “Deal.”
_______
A/n: So that was fun and took entirely too long to write. I hope you enjoyed it and if you’re in the cult and I didn’t include you, reblog this and I’ll make a list. The next chapter might focus on a smaller group bc there are like thirteen characters here and I’m tired. Peace out!
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Guide To Avoiding A Loser Brokerage
by James Hill | theurbansquared
Brokers can be bastards and some even get better at it while other brokers are legitimate life-changing business Sherpas
A broker is supposed to guide you through a career in real estate much like a coach or pimp - offering protection and how to understand a complicated system better and direct it to revenue without getting your neck broke while playing the game. I created and ran the most well-reviewed, largest full-service brokerage in the fastest-growing city in America. This gave me access to nearly ever broker and their broker's pay structure and innovations. I also got the agent's version of my same broker buddies brokerages when they eventually joined my brokerage; hovering anywhere from 20–60 agents. Trending insider chatter has blame going to real estate brokers of decades past (and current) and how they’ve managed their agents - - letting unsupervised agents with no experience run wild on the streets practicing on the public wearing out Realtor love and making a need for all the Mountain Dew-made Zillow-y options that currently exist.
Brokers are out of touch more than ever with today’s current media load, having to understand and use social media platforms for their advertising (since the private Town & Country affair that real estate once was is forever over and the landscape is a bit more like a half Juggalo, half programmer flea market).
Let’s dive into some situations and tenets that most agents don’t consider when choosing a brokerage.
Sales Volume
This is a bit of negotiating psychology and due diligence. Simply ask how much sales they (the brokerage) did last year and how much they’re currently at. If they don’t know these numbers they’re goons. If they don’t give it, you guessed it - they’re hiding something; their lack of revenue. I’ve hired and fired hundreds of agents and in interviews so few ask this question but it’s one of the most important questions you can ask as an agent and you need the information. An agent that doesn’t ask this has already given a tell that they’re not a top producer since they’re not interested in the production capacity of the team they may join. No bueno. Creep the brokerage as well obvi -- reviews, FB & IG engagement and current running ads, and make sure the company Christmas Party isn’t catered by Chic-fil-a at a Burnet Road dive bar.
Office
40% of your learning and 350% of your work will be done at the office. Those numbers will make sense 90% of the time after a few years in real estate. The rest should be on the streets - your car, properties, driving 75 mph talking and sending out docs, gorging on breath mints. Office, home, tiny homes, motorhomes have all blended into one larger conversation where work/live ethos are all in re-definition.
But, when you do need a more savvy moment in any market when people talk about borrowing or selling something that’s over $100K they don’t want to hear some bullshit too loud pedantic conversation seated right next to them at Starbucks or the local kooky coffee shop. In real estate Murphy’s Law is always in effect. The super important listing sign off that has to go well and they want to hear you pitch again before deciding? There will be someone (at this super ‘caj’ coffee house meeting) there projectile vomiting, or throwing cats, or something else tiresome or bad that takes more calls.
Speech and body language are massive parts of sales so when the entire set is thrown because a barista is running through a whole Sublime album. You want the most inviting cool office you can ever pull off at any given moment in real estate . Was that ever a question? There's a balance -- you can't afford that year one or three, but it’s called real estate for a reason. Sexy, exciting buildings is what the brochure said when I joined. Also, it’s about style not size.
If you haven’t lost business to coffee house back pressure you really haven’t failed at agency properly.
Social IQ
Social reach is the only conversation now. Many brokerages won’t make it as the lead generating aspects of the industry aren't powered by a private MLS anyone and the publicly-hated ‘Realtor’ designation have both brokers and agents guessing about tomorrow. Calendars, best practices and free shitty tips & templates are the du jour of the day for anyone trying to get an agent's eyes. You can Google and get all the ‘basic’ social media dance steps, but with everyone at the same happy hunting spot, you’re being covered up, which leaves all your new artistic efforts fruitless and also squandering winning time.
Traffic, leads and engagement are all separate areas that have to be fulfilled properly and even this is in flux with historic corporations and current start ups all on the same advertising playing field. Social reach and engagement is about going to the consumer direct and becoming their friend with soft bribes -- free food, gifts, prizes (trips, events tickets) or industry work tools. The great news is, real estate has always been mostly consumer direct - start up a convoy at the grocery store (bar, church, meetup) and you’re in the car that weekend looking for houses with a new client. While you, your brokerage and the world are figuring out their exact social media mix, you need to make sure a brokerage isn’t lost on social media since many won’t be able to stay in business in the next few short years. Your brokerage needs to have a plan and and at best some presence on social media. Plus, they should be running low-cost performative marketing ad campaigns to get a feel for what and if set user groups are responding to ads. Anyone can post on IG but people engage on IG when they become inspired. A brokerage should have some sort of inspiration and relationship tied in with the local allure of their city -- or heading that direction.
Mentoring
Much like a neurotic buyer chasing an interest rate for their home mortgage (and then never buying a house) agents too focused on commission may miss the essential career need for mentoring -- for their clients and career. I had a 5 deal minimum for my new agents before they were ever unsupervised and received more commission. I've had new agents with celeb clients in hand and celeb agents with no clients in hand. No one wants to do business with someone with absolutely has no, experience but they do it because they like you as a friend or fam. Your mentor is the person riding shotgun with you at the beginning of your career. On many levels you want to be this person since they embody the position and role. You're literally and figuratively are borrowing experience from them and they deserve to be paid for it. You always have to strengthen your brand outside of your brokerage but if you don’t have any experience your brand doesn’t have ‘strength’ you simply have a logo and a drag & drop website where you're possibly talking about yourself and love of unicorns or football shit but the big boat deals you dream about in bed aren’t gotten this way. Remember, no unicorn could ever throw a football good without a lot of practice and a good mentor.
Support
Support in a brokerage is really communication and solutions for small problems, and systems for managing bigger ones with people. Most of the annoying things in real estate happen outside of the deal - contracts, calls, emails, docs, signatures, more docs. You typically want a super admin, broker, or agent manager that you can call and they pick up the phone. It’s pretty simple. With a mentor, admin, or broker you’re going to have a n 8:30 PM question or deal that’s going down. You’ll need printer help. Real estate always happens now (this was one of the main mantras in my office). Printing, prequal, weekend support and constant post dinner shenanigans.
Training
Meet Frank Miller, David Mamet, the Sex Pistols, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Hendrix, Tom Hopkins, The World’s Greatest Detective and Conan The Barbarian. We had a lot of different inspirations for the style and ethos of our urban brokerage. The World’s Greatest Detective is Batman. It was a moniker that became popular in the seventies. We used this example about how important due diligence and proper Fact Finding techniques are for serving and closing deals for clients. (It’s almost essential to be inquisitive in real estate esp about property/development to have success). Training is largely your sales meeting(s). Although I don’t come from a car background I’ve mentored many car guys transferring to real estate (they typically are out of the industry within 2 years and are there only for boom markets). Car guys have meetings every morning 6 days a week and they’re not at 9 or 10 am. They’re already working.
free module: The Burger King Phenomena: Why Agents Do Less Working For Themselves Than If They Were Working At Burger King
Many brokerages have no training/meeting schedule (monthly doesn’t count -- that’s a meet and greet company pump and catch up meeting). If a brokerage doesn’t have training on a schedule then there is no training. You’ll possibly be thrown a 3-ring binder, or given some PDF’s, or links to old bizarre training videos or a soup sandwich of all three and sometimes even a bill for the training. An agent’s training/meetings and their attendance to them are the difference between an agent making it or not when you’re 24 months or less in the role as an agent especially in the fast turbulent waters of the current 2021 market where brokerage and agent purpose and pay are under attack. From my experience, new agents that hide die.
Media
Having a background as a creative director I’m aware with great detail of agency and brokerage media needs, the cost and time they extract, and the corresponding revenue they’re projected to bring back. Brokerages are looking for their purpose now as simply having a brokerage doesn’t bring in leads like it used to. This is fitting, since the digital dumbass brokers that that didn’t understand the importance of ‘the web’ rickshawed our MLS data and sold the agent/broker centric real estate system for their benefit while current agents are left with an empty greasy enough to-go box to curl up with. Brokerages were never media houses or ad agencies but now that consumer level graphic programs and website builders are ubiquitous and any agent after being licensed for 10 days can drag & drop a website up in 4 hours and make it look like a brokerage that’s been around for years. I know I’m going wide on the subject here but stay with me because this is the crux of where the industry and consumer are renegotiating roles.
A brokerage’s value proposition has changed drastically with the telecommute revolution that was only sped and strengthened by Covid. Also, generational knowledge base gaps in technology are more apparent than ever with technology as younger agents can often be more media savvy than their broker. The market is flooded with self appointed companies or gurus that are taking on the role of the classic ad agency (Mad Men) or media production house. Also beware of real estate coaches with little or no real estate experience offering to guide you in social media. Okay media can’t be used in apex situations (such as the luxury listings you’re after) and doesn’t draw apex listings. Beware of tapioca room temperature tips and general lists from companies that can appear informative but are really boilerplate low grade data to get your attention to ultimately upsell you on a paid service.
As an agent or a brokerage, consumer level graphic and website building programs can be a death ticket to your business as your competitors have the same tools and are cranking out the same type of style of messaging you are now. Now agents, principals, admins and in art class creating flyers. This has been done since the nineties as the valleys of dead agent careers is full of 2-day Microsoft Word (or any of their shitty office offerings) seshes to produce nasty flyers and presentations. These programs are fun and making bad flyers absolutely work related - the kind of work you don’t want’ related to your business because it’s adult crayon coloring. Activity does not equal production. Staying busy doing the wrong things doesn’t make money in real estate. Rather than spending agent winning time staying in the wrong lanes for way too long, get with a team or brokerage that are providing the most exceptional visual media you can find in your market. It used to be cool 2 years ago, now it’s the only thing that matters. Visual content.
free module: Better Agent Media, Less Agent Money (media tips and hacks).
Access
This is access to your broker. Brokers with families are typically less available. Your best bet as an agent is looking for a grinder broker who sleeps on the couch at their office. This person doesn’t have kids to build into so they’ll build into your career and you’ll get the most out of these brokers. Beware of cheesedick, apathetic, rich boy, bored brokers not around and more concerned with projects like a shitty vanity wine brand that their wife’s forced them to launch since she’s not living her best life anymore as an agent.
Style
What kind of style is your brokerage? Is there an opportunity to bring more style sophistication to the market -- standout in a smaller market? Or, are you in an ultra stylish market currently and butt hurt because you already have a little story about how you’re going to keep it real and be a Dockers wearing slob for eternity? The thing about style in agency is you always need to look like you can list a million dollar house. Oh, is it really that simple? Yes it is. You complicated it. Clients always care about their housing a little bit more than they care about your real estate career. They don’t have time to figure out why you’re wearing shoe styles from 7 years ago. Don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. If you’re ugly, even better. It can be a massive advantage. Everyone on the planet loves when someone who doesn’t fall into our general current ‘attractive’ spectrum doesn’t give af, looks great and puts themselves together in a stylish way that the viewer can understand (can I get away with Teen Wolf?). A great side benefit from this step in the right direction is it’s a great way to make someone who is conventionally attractive insecure.
You want to be in the same style as the people in your area but the secret is you need to lead that style pack if you can -- you always lead and dress apex. Years ago this was anecdotal but after over 100K hours in real estate a good suite (tailored) saved my ass and literally got me business. I listed the largest house in east Austin because of a suit (and got a front page story on the newspaper real estate section for free because the owner saw me walking into the next door neighbor’s house).
Offices, dress, logo, email signature are all elements of you and your brokerage’s style. Style in and of itself isn’t enough to be a top producer in real estate. I’ve had stylish and even celebrity agents that didn't do zilch, but style often is a fingerprint to something more.
Picking the right elements for your agent style is an art because you have to offer something from yourself that’s unique enough as well as something familiar (a bridge to your uniqueness). I have a background as a musician and also as a merchant sailor. Fortunately those are easy convo starters. You could be a philatelist and have some challenges, but regardless it absolutely will take a year or three to develop your own angle and style towards the market as you learn it and the agent role more.
Things that look attractive and familiar puts client’s psychologies at ease. So, if skinny jeans are in you better get in them (that’s like five years old now). You’re on stage. You don’t wear what the worker people behind the camera wear. If you want to wear boring shit get on the other side of the camera. If you want less leads saddle up to a forgettable brokerage. People have hard days. They want you to put an effort into your real estate agency role. Currently it’s a fried role so you’re dealing with that too. People love to be smiled at and sold and especially from someone who smells good. It doesn't ever get old. Don’t make them beg for your charm. Be a nice charming person with a shirt that fits good, it’s a powerful combo.
Get My Damn Paper
If you’ve never seen a werewolf in daylight mess with an agent’s commission after the deal’s done and funded. Admin? Who is the damn person who does the admin? (accounts payable is the icey pro word if you like). That person that you contact to get your commission check cut? If that person is a weirdo, or there’s an unfriendly or sketchy quality to the office or admin staff, do not go forward (don’t confuse this with new people or industry jitters). Grab some free coffee, leave the smarm and jet to the next brokerage blind date.
Software
CRM is an annoying conversation. Here’s the things with CRM’s - for all the work CRMs curtail, because of their complexity and existence and the work(time) they take to interact with you need to consider how much work you’re putting into operating the CRM software verses how much time it’s saving. Many times brokerages have expensive yearly subscriptions with per agent fees for their CRM which can make the brokerage have a zealot meth thing for the ‘team’ software and promise you can’t have a career without taking a bump too. To understand CRM better before it was a name, Client Relationship Management is what analog Proximity became. Let me explain - being close to people in Church, bar, school, same building -- all give proximity. This becomes familiarity, then ease, then trust. People do business with people they trust & like. Once people disconnected physically and started using other means more contact attempts have to be made to work for or ‘prove’ worth.
Follow Up is a large component of most CRM’s and there are gobs of money for agents who follow up meticulously. Simply ask the broker what CRM they use and research it. Something to remember - unless you’re extremely busy with your career you don’t need a CRM. You can manage & database your clients & leads ‘by hand’ and strap it to the cloud with G-Suite/Google Sheets.
Brokerage Name
A small but important aside, if a brokerage have named themselves after a precious metal or a gem, or if it says elite in the name then it’s not elite. If it has the words prestige or worldwide or international it may not be any of those either. I know a handful of exceptions to this rule but this is a great dirty primer to use when choosing a brokerage that’s going to propel your career and have shrimp options at the Christmas Party.
#agent#realtor#realestateagent#broker#brokerage#newhomebuyer#coach#businesscoach#entrepreneurs#new agent#zillow
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That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3
The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore.
Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.
VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV
((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:
Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))
^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN
also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))
^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -
This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^
VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^
VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV
((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.
WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))
^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.
THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV
^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.
fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^
^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^
^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.
Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv
VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV
VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV
((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV
VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV
VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV
VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV
VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV
------
I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.
Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.
It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?”
Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.
Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.
Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.
If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!
ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.
Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.
HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.
People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.
Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.
But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.
TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.
The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.
They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.
I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.
Eat shit.
#tw: nazi#tw: neonazi#tw: swastika#tw: antisemitism#cultural appropriation#kimba the white lion#thiscrispykat#altright#classic spyro#My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic#balto#animals of farthing wood
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Trick or Treat, Cont. || Charleson, Bronwyn, Lirim, Aedan, Rory, & Cynthia || October, 2020
Lirim: Lirim tossed his phone onto the table, smiling apologetically at his son. Their first outing with Charles. His first, that is. Bronwyn was another story.
"He said five's fine," Lirim called to Bronwyn. Paint was much more manageable than makeup, in his opinion. His son's whiskers, made of his mother's eyeshadow, would survive the next few hours. Aedan wouldn't care or much notice. His ears were free. When was he going to develop a tail?
Bronwyn: “Five it is!” Bronwyn called back. She was deep in her makeup drawer looking for a tube of eyeliner that seemed to have disappeared. “Why didn’t I draw the whiskers on with eyeliner, they’re goin’ to smudge. Oh! Marie and Lydia have asked us to stop by their houses. No one in this city will have better treats.”
Lirim: "You won't go touchin' your face, will ya, Aedan? Some settin' spray and you're ready to hit the town."
Lirim perked, looked over the mass that was his son's curly hair. "Oh really? Haven't seen them in ages." He hadn't seen much of anyone outside of the art gallery, so no surprise.
A thought occurred to him. Shit. "Guess that means I'm seein' Mason again."
Bronwyn: “Aye, darlin’, it does. Ha!” She returned to the room a few moments later with the eyeliner and her setting spray. “But don’t worry, ev’ryone will be on their best behavior. Includin’ him.”
Lirim/Aedan: Xavier's uplifting words rang in his memory as reminder. He didn't have to be afraid of him. Not anymore. Just confounding that anyone spent any amount of time with that demon.
He didn't have room to judge, considering his favorite Atlas, but he would.
Aedan was about having his fill of this face touching. The squirming had begun.
"Patience, puppers!"
Bronwyn: “I’m almost done, lovey.” Bronwyn made quick work of touching up Aedan’s whiskers before telling him to close his eyes for the setting spray. “There, all done!”
Lirim: "Ya know he's gonna have a fit when ya try and take that off." Oh well. It was just one night. His son was certainly no artist, putting up with the smell of makeup was easier than paint, and it was for a good cause. He didn't have whiskers and he wanted them.
"Alright, Toto, all done. Ready to meet Dorothy?"
Bronwyn/Aedan: “It won’t be so bad. Just one wee little makeup wipe and it’ll come right off.”
Aedan gave his mother a skeptical look but the excitement over the candy he would soon have won out.
“Yeah!”
Lirim/Aedan: "I shoulda gone as the Big Bad Wolf, Miss Riding Hood."
"Wolves are good!"
And Aedan wouldn't hear otherwise. "You're absolutely right. He just had an image issue." Bronwyn was given a look.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn smiled and nodded. “Absolutely. An image issue and questionable manners. Daddy should’ve gone as the Big Good Wolf.” That last added with a teasing look.
Lirim/Aedan: His parents were given a look. The look of a child aware but unable to articulate. Instead, going on about how he wanted a candy apple on a stick.
"You got it, Toto."
Bronwyn: “I think—and I’m no’ positive or anythin’—but I’m pretty sure Auntie Lydia is makin’ candy apples with red caramel.”
Lirim/Aedan: Aedan's eyes couldn't have been brighter.
"Oh boy, Toto's gonna need a leash."
And off their son ran across the house screaming.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed. “Oh, aye. I probably shouldn’t tell him there are also goin’ to be cookies.”
Lirim: "Shhh. He'll be in a sugar coma before eight."
Bronwyn: “Eight?” she chuckled. “Aren’t we bein’ optimistic. My money’s on seven.”
Lirim: "That's better than eight. What ya wanna bet?"
Bronwyn: “Hmmm...” She tapped her chin. “Dinner.”
Lirim: "What ya want?"
Bronwyn: “Shrimp and grits with an ungodly amount of cheese.”
Lirim: "Homemade or restaurant?"
Bronwyn: “Homemade. What do ye want if ye win?”
Lirim: "I want... to paint you."
Bronwyn: “Paint me or paint me?”
Lirim: "I mean paint on your body in my studio."
Bronwyn: “It’s a bet. What do ye want to turn me into?”
Lirim: "We'll have to see. Been a long time."
Bronwyn: “Aye, it has.” She smiled and kissed Lirim’s cheek. “Ye can turn me into anythin’ ye like.”
Lirim: "Maybe I've some ideas. In the nude, of course."
Bronwyn: “Well that goes without sayin’. What’s a little nudity after ye’ve impregnated someone.”
Lirim: "Oh?" He laughed. "Speakin' of 'fore I get ahead of myself, how's the Viking?"
Bronwyn: “Still tall, stoic, and handsome. He got a kick out o’ my costume.”
Lirim: "They don't do Halloween in Iceland?"
Bronwyn: “Iceland kind of does a wee, Torsten doesn’t do it at all.”
Lirim: "Makes sense, I guess." Lirim looked in the direction of their son. "And he's good with Aedan?" Hundredth time asking. "He should... be here. He's gonna have a lot more Halloweens."
Bronwyn: She nodded. “Aye, he’s good with Aedan. I asked him to come with us but he’s in Iceland at the moment, takin’ care of some family business.”
Lirim: "Do ya want Aedan to call him dad?"
Bronwyn: “I want Aedan to call him whatever feels right to him.”
Lirim: "Ya'd think I'd be used to it. I mean he already -" He'd stop right there. "Anyway, Charles should be here any minute."
Bronwyn: She kissed his cheek again. “I love ye, Lirim Vivaldi. Ye know that? There’s no timeline on gettin’ used to it.”
Lirim: "Love ya too, Mama B. Ya know he calls ya that when we're alone? Totally picked it up from Lucien I know it."
Bronwyn: “He does?” Bronwyn positively melted at the sweetness of it all. “That’s adorable! And he absolutely did and I’m no’ surprised at all. I love bein’ Mama B.”
Lirim: "He asked about Lucien a few days ago. Didn't realize how often they were together."
Bronwyn: “Aye, the magic of teleportation. I’ve been wantin’ to learn it, I feel bad havin’ Vincent go back and forth so often.”
Lirim: "Can't be easy. I mean, that's why it belongs to familiars, and... demons."
Bronwyn: “Ye’re right. Avalbane is over three hundred and she can’t do it.”
Lirim: "Shit. What's she got over ya, though? Spells wise, I mean."
Lirim turned to the foyer mirror and adjusted his hat.
Bronwyn: “Sheer volume o’ spells. Decade upon decade of experience. That spell she used to help us with Aedan? It’s so obscure she found it on a stone tablet.”
Lirim: His smile softened. "Just had a conversation about that, actually, with Xavier Atlas." He watched for her reaction.
Bronwyn: She didn’t quite frown, but there was a definite tightness to her smile at the mention of that man.
“Were ye indeed,” she said as casually as she could. “Does he get his magic from stone tablets as well?”
Lirim: "I imagine if Xavier Atlas were reborn today, he'd be that bookworm child that turns into a mage. Or a mad professor. Or a politician. Can't really pin which."
Bronwyn: “Or held in a federal prison for tax evasion.”
Lirim: "I mean," he laughed, "they're not saints, but they're hungry, Atlases."
Bronwyn: “That’s definitely one way to put it. Do ye see him often?”
Lirim: "Nah. First time in...years."
Bronwyn: “Was it a good visit?”
Lirim: "I needed it. Been meetin' up with a few people I lost." He gestured to the front door. "Charles included."
Bronwyn: Bronwyn reached for Lirim’s hand and gave it squeeze. “Well for that, I’m glad. It’s nice to see ye returnin’ to yer life, spendin’ time with people ye enjoy. Ye’re like a flower bloomin’ after a long winter.”
Lirim: "Only a druid would say that," he laughed. He felt like he'd been doing more of that lately.
Bronwyn: He had and it had not gone unnoticed. It was such a welcome sound.
“It’s true! Ye’re our angelic flower.”
Lirim: Lirim shook his head, rubbed his cheeks with both hands. "Alright, Ridin' Hood, ya all set to go?"
Bronwyn: “All set. I’ve got ev’rythin’ we can possibly need in my basket.”
Charles/Rory: Charles gave a single nod, indicating that Rory could, indeed, be the one to ring the doorbell. He did so with great enthusiasm, before Charles guided him gently back.
Lirim/Aedan: Of course. The doorbell was piano keys, after all. This didn't have to be a child for someone to go to town on it.
"Someone's playing music!" called his son.
"No, I got it!" his father laughed, opening the door less than a moment later.
"Hey, fam!"
Bronwyn: Bronwyn would appear at Lirim's shoulder almost instantly, greeting their new arrivals with a radiant smile.
"There they are! Come in, come in! Look at ye, ye look great!"
Charles/Rory/Cynthia: Charles was all smiles for his friends, tipping back his pointed hat to more easily press a kiss to each of their cheeks.
Rory and Cynthia both were happy to see Bronwyn, Dorothy and a little Tin Man stepping forward for hugs they knew were coming.
"Hello, hello! Rory, Cee, this is... Mr. Lirim Vivaldi." He'd leave it up to the man himself to decide how he wanted to be addressed.
Lirim: "Hi!" The old saying of loving only your kids was relevant to Lirim; he didn't feel like a natural around other people's children and doubted he ever would. But these were Charles'. He got on a knee to shake their hands. He then called to Aedan to greet them.
Bronwyn: The children already knew her very well; they'd both be kissed and given a good squeeze that stopped just shy of mussing their costumes. Their father would be given equal treatment.
She smiled as Lirim greeted them, taking the opportunity to grab her camera from her basket and start snapping pictures.
"I can't get over those costumes! Ye're all so precious I could eat ye right up. Smile for the camera!"
Charles: Charles was not nearly so averse to being photographed as his husband, but there was no need to capture his ridiculous witch's costume for posterity. With a wry smile, he nudged his children gently toward where Aedan stood. "Let's get one of the kids together. Following the yellow brick road, and all that."
He had a sunny smile for Bronwyn and Lirim's son. After all, he did not share Lirim's opinions on other people's children. He'd certainly have chosen the wrong bloody profession, if he did.
"Nice to see you again, young man. You've gotten so big!"
Lirim/Mason/Aedan Mason lagged behind, still warding and locking down the townhouse just a few feet away. His hooded masked figure cut an intimidating silhouette compared to the others. By design, given the city. This was his city and his people, but this was his family, and a priority. He would be watchdog tonight. No doubt with Charles' ability, danger would not survive twenty yards.
Aedan began explaining his costume, as though it were required. Toto for Dorothy! With a bark as real as his dark brown ears perked tight with excitement.
Lirim adjusted his son's curls and returned to his feet. "He really has." The naphil stilled at the sight of the demon, taking a breath. A nod of acknowledgment.
Bronwyn: There was every need to capture Charles' witch costume for posterity and that was precisely what Bronwyn was going to do.
"Aye, let's! Ev'ryone move in closer and give me a big smile!" She snapped a couple of photos of the kids and a couple more of Lirim and Charles. "Mason!" she called. "Come see the cuteness!"
Charles: Charles was not the least bit concerned about the evening. Nor did he believe himself, Bronwyn, and Lirim incapable of defending against any unlikely danger. But he welcomed his husband's presence, all the same. He smiled fondly as Aedan went into the details of his costume. They really were an adorable trio.
"Are we ready to begin? We're following your lead, here."
Lirim/Mason/Rory: "Little terrors in disguise!"
Rory looked back to his father. "Nah uh!"
Lirim locked the door behind them with a flick of his hand. No one around to notice. "Start here and go counter-clockwise, then Coverdale?" he looked to Bronwyn for confirmation.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn mapped the proposed route in her head and nodded. "Sounds good to me! Ev'ryone stay together now, and if ye hear a verra cranky poodle, just walk on by. She only barks if ye give her attention and if ye give her attention she tries to bite ye."
Charles: Charles laughed openly, adjusting his hat as it slipped. "She sounds delightful. I'll keep a wary eye. Do you lot want to leave a bowl of candy out for any kids that come by?"
Lirim: "Last time I did the whole cauldron was gone!" Lirim laughed.
Bronwyn: "I'm convinced that kid who thinks he's James Dean and his mates took the lot."
Charles: "There's always one."
Lirim/Mason: "Should I?"
Mason was already off with the children to the nearest house on their side of the street.
Bronwyn: "We can, if ye like. It's still early, there's a chance bargain bin James Dean won't show up for another couple of hours."
Charles: "I like to, when no one's around to answer the door, but it's your bowl."
Lirim: "Out of that giant school? Not even a maid?"
Lirim unlocked the door with another flick, glanced at his son and ran inside for a jack-o'-lantern bucket, filling it with tiny bags of Reese's Pieces.
Charles: "In Cameron, or wherever else. There's always someone at the school."
Lirim: "Cameron?" The bucket placed. Lirim picked up the pace to join his son.
Charles: Charles followed closely behind, catching a speeding Rory as he returned from the door with chocolate in his once-empty bucket.
"Careful! Mhm. My husband has a house there." For now, anyway.
Lirim: Charles was given a quick glance. "Do you see it as a home, despite being a school?"
Charles: "I do. It's been my home for a long time, now. Well, our home. It'd just be an old house, without everyone else."
Lirim: "Funny, what we put stock in." He flicked his wrist back at the townhouse behind them. "Raised there. Was in stasis after my folks; lived with my Mema. Then it was mine again. Thought about gettin' rid of it, but there's too much in it. Don't have it in me."
Charles: He nodded, glancing at the house briefly, before turning back to watch his children sprint off to the next house. He buried the impulse to ask them to slow down. "I understand that. I might've sold the old place, if we hadn't needed it. And then the idea for the school took root in my head and I couldn't dislodge it. I'd never part with it, now. Means too much. And not only to me. I'll likely pass it on, though. When the time comes. To someone I trust who shares my vision."
Lirim: Lirim nodded, watched his son, his son's mother, the demon.
"Someone like that exist, or still lookin' around?"
Charles: "I imagine it'll be one of my staff. Possibly one of my students, when they're old enough and experienced enough. I'm not opposed to passing my legacy along to my children, but I suspect they'll forge their own paths." He snorted softly, mostly to himself. "Perhaps we need one more."
Lirim: A statement which put a smile on the naphil's face. They were indeed different.
"Got the parental itch for more, huh?"
Charles: Charles lifted a shoulder. "I wouldn't call it an itch, but I'm certainly open to the concept."
Lirim: "Do they all feel like your children?"
Charles: "Yes and no. I love them. And I feel deeply responsible for their wellbeing, of course. I am. But it's... different."
It seemed a poor word to describe the depth of devotion he felt toward his own children, but he couldn't think of a better one, presently.
Lirim: "Never taught anyone anything until Aedan. Can't relate." He adjusted his coat, face contorting with thought. "I take that back. I mean, I walk people through what I do in the studio, but that's -" he waved away his words.
"Anyway."
Charles: "I think I've always wanted to be academic. Teaching or learning. Teaching feels more useful." Less selfish. "Would you ever consider teaching art?"
Lirim: "People gotta learn, someone's gotta teach." But that being said, he scoffed. "Hell no. Probably hang myself bein' asked the same questions all the time. But! That's why people like you exist."
Charles: Charles laughed, a bright sound that carried on the early evening air. "It's not so awful. But, perhaps you're right. 'Those who can't do,' and all that. We should catch up with the children."
Lirim: Such sound paired well with Charles' emotion.
"I get the sayin', but I don't get how that applies to someone like you."
Charles: "Someone like me?" He raised an eyebrow, casting a half-smile at Lirim as he began walking just a bit quicker, slowly narrowing the distance between himself and his family.
Lirim: Bronwyn had gone ahead, probably for his old neighbor. Still, he didn't want her to feel alienated from the conversation. Not that he'd felt anything of the sort; he was thinking too much.
"Ya know. A genius."
Charles: Charles gave a soft little snort and shook his head. "I know geniuses; I'm not one. I'm merely studious. I've spent more than half of my life in a classroom. More than that, I suppose, if you count being on the opposite side of things."
Lirim/Mason: "Just didn't wanna leave the classroom?"
Mason glanced back at that statement, expression well hidden behind his mask.
Charles: He gave a soft laugh, head tilting ever so slightly at his husband. "I suppose not."
Mason: "Why him?" Mason whispered to Bronwyn.
Bronwyn: “Why him what?” Bronwyn whispered back, snapping another picture of the children. “Also which him?”
Mason: "Your him. Why him as the father?"
Bronwyn: "The real question should be why me as the mother."
Mason: "Not even the fuckin' question. Of course you."
Bronwyn: "I was originally a surrogate, remember? He picked me."
Mason: A growl of response. He hadn't appreciated that, either, but such was in the past.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn nudged him. "Hey now, why the growlin'?"
Mason: "I don't like the idea of ya bein' used."
Bronwyn: “Mason.”
Mason: "I know."
Bronwyn: She squeezed his arm. "No one used me. I offered o' my own free will and I'd do it again."
Mason: "Does he remember the other one?"
Bronwyn: "We both do," she said softly. "And fuck him right to hell."
Mason: "The kid remembers the wolf?"
Bronwyn: “Oh, never mind I thought ye were talkin’ about Lirim.” She shook her head. “No, we don’t think so.”
Mason: "Has he asked why y'all don't have ears?"
Bronwyn: Another head shake. “No’ yet. He thinks ev’ryone has them.”
Mason: Mason looked back to Charles. With no expression to give with a mask, his arm opened, offering warmth instead.
Charles: Words weren't necessary, and in this instance facial expressions were superfluous as well. Charles understood the offer for what it was and hurried to accept, closing the distance between them more swiftly and pressing himself against his husband's side. There was no skin available to kiss, so he settled for grabbing the hand that wrapped around him.
"Looks like they're getting on well."
Bronwyn: Bronwyn couldn't help but smile at them. They looked so happy; she didn't need to be able to see Mason's expression to see that.
"Aren't they just? They're so sweet," she said, snapping another photo of the kids. "This is a good bondin' activity for them."
Lirim/Mason: "Really glad he's able to have this. Sooner rather than later he's going to be with more of his people. Just need to set a date."
"Away with the druids?" Mason's question directed to Bronwyn. Charles' hand given a squeeze.
Charles: "It is," he agreed, with a nod. "They ought to spend more time together. It'll be good for all of them."
Charles turned his attention toward Lirim, still keeping pace with his husband. "Oh?"
Bronwyn: She nodded. "Yes to both. No' away as in away, but away as in goin' across the pond to learn with some other wee Druids."
Lirim: "Not like there's an angel academy. I want him with his people. He just happens to have more than one set of people."
Charles: "That's wonderful. I'm sure he'll enjoy himself. You'll both be going with him?"
Bronwyn: "It'll definitely give us an excuse to drop in on my family in Scotland more often. My grandda Owen loves Lirim's art."
Lirim/Mason: "Definitely goin' with him. I wanna see everything."
"They aware of everything he is?" Mason asked.
Charles: "Mm. That'll be lovely for both of you." He glanced to his husband, though the face he loved was hidden by that mask. "We should visit Scotland, after the house is built."
Bronwyn: Bronwyn nodded. "Mostly, aye. They know he's a Druid and they also know he's no' only a Druid, but I figured it was best that they hear the specifics from both of us in person."
Mason: "Your gran'mama gonna be there?" Of all those in her family, that woman he could trust. He didn't think highly of the half-angel among them, but that little boy running about with his son was a part of Bronwyn. Under his gray wing of protection.
Charles: "Mm. Such conversations are best had face-to-face. I'm glad you'll be seeing your family, soon." He only wished he had more family for his own kids to know.
Bronwyn: Another nod. "Aye, she never misses a chance to see Aedan or Lirim. Always asks about ye," she added with a smile over at Mason.
"I am, too. I always enjoy visitin' home."
Lirim/Mason: Lirim simply listened. What he felt from Mason was palpable like a humid summer afternoon. Forced trust through others was never real trust. This they could both agree.
"Next time, call me," Mason said, adjusting the hard plastic mask. Too long since he'd laid eyes on the woman that harbored his secret.
Bronwyn: "Aye, I'll do that, and I'll also remind ye to get her some flowers for deprivin' her of yer company for so long."
Lirim/Mason: "She tell ya s'what she wanted?"
"I didn't know he'd met your family," Lirim laughed politely.
Mason quickly brushed his fingers over Charles and Bronwyn's arm, walking ahead to check on the children. Rory and Aedan standing still, negotiating over some undesirable candy.
Charles: Charles kept pace with the remaining adults, but his gaze did skate frequently toward the children.
Bronwyn: "Years ago," Bronwyn said with another nod, smiling after Mason. "Back before I adopted Lucien, when I was...goin' through a wee patch."
Lirim: Lirim cast her a quick look, one of mild confusion, before nodding. "Mm. Feels like yesterday we all met."
Charles: "Does it?" Charles laughed softly. "Feels like it's been a century. I suppose that happens when everything you think you know about the world gets turned on its head." It was as though he could divide his life into two clean hemispheres.
Bronwyn: "I'm with Lirim. It feels like Aedan was still a baby five seconds ago. Feels like I was meetin' Lirim ten seconds ago. Time is a right old bastard."
Lirim: "When I'm with y'all it goes by like that," he snapped his fingers. "When I'm alone time stands still. Great for paintin'," he chuckled.
Charles: Charles pulled Lirim into a brief half-hug. "We should do this more often. Not Halloween, obviously, but the rest."
Bronwyn: "The kids would love it if Halloween came more often," Bronwyn laughed. "But, aye, we should. It'll be good for them and good for us."
Lirim: Lirim was pleasantly caught off guard by the random bit of affection. His smile blossomed.
"Absolutely. I'd love to get some paint on both of ya."
Charles: He lifted an eyebrow, chuckling. "On? As in a living canvas? Or do you want to see me struggle to form a decent stick figure?"
Bronwyn: "I personally would love that."
Lirim: "Now I wanna see the stick figure, but I mean literally on ya."
Charles: "Trust me, you don't. But my skin is at your disposal, sir. I've never been painted on."
Lirim: "I dunno what's stopped me, but it won't stop me now."
Charles: "Good. I'm looking forward to it."
Bronwyn: "It's settled then. Lirim will paint ye and then ye can wow us with yer stick figure paintin'."
Lirim: "What'll ya be doin' while I'm paintin' and he's stick figurin'?"
Charles: "An excellent question. I don't want to be alone in my artistic pursuits."
Bronwyn: "Bakin' probably."
Lirim: "So we get the smell of fresh baked bread mixed with acrylic and oil? Tasty."
Charles: "Sounds like a party. I've never been able to resist baked goods."
Bronwyn: "I've been wantin' to make some potato bread. Found a recipe that looks promisin'."
Lirim: "I'm gonna end up usin' brown and yellow paint and forget everything else."
Charles: "I love potato bread. Now, I'm starving." He was going to have to enact a dad tax on those sweets. "Rory! Cee! Have you gotten any Paydays?"
Mason: Mason looked back, wriggling a small PayDay - all sweets were small these days, weren't they? - before tossing in Charles' direction.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed. "I'd be curious to see what magic ye can create usin' only yellow and brown."
Charles: He made a valiant effort to catch the candy, but it tumbled out of his grasp. With a sigh, he bent to retrieve it. Still good. "Thanks, love."
Lirim/Mason: 'Ya didn't play catch as a child,' his husband guessed, smiling through his mask as he turned back to the children.
"Challenge accepted," Lirim grinned. His pride as an artist on the line, he must! Already had ideas.
Bronwyn: "Oh yay!" she chuckled. "I'm definitely makin' potato bread while ye paint in hopes that ye turn Charles into a really beautiful artistic potato."
Charles: 'I did not,' he confessed, popping the little candy into his mouth and tucking the wrapper into his pocket to dispose of, later. He flashed a quick smile. 'I was more of a tree-climbing, bug-catching boy.'
With a snort, he shook his head. "Oh, yes. I've always wanted to be a potato. Dreams do come true."
Lirim/Mason: 'Of course you were. For science.'
"Not a potato! Maybe a uh... maybe a glorious sunrise," Lirim smiled.
Bronwyn: She just could not stop laughing. The mental image she'd conjured of Charles painted like a potato was tickling her pink.
"Aye, that would be lovely. Really anything ye do will be lovely."
Charles: 'For science,' he chuckled at their private conversation.
Charles pressed a kiss to the side of her head. A potato, indeed. "Perhaps not the dream, but I'm willing to be a sunrise as well."
Lirim: "Could paint ya both. Sunrise and sunset. Maybe a full moon. Yellows, browns, blue, black and white..." Annnnd he was going off on his own tangent.
Bronwyn: "And I'm more than willin' to be a sunset. Go crazy, darlin', we'll be yer muses. Won't we, Charles?"
Charles: He nodded, thoughtful. "I've always wanted to be an artist's muse."
Lirim/Mason: "No one’s ever drawn ya? Written a poem? Love letter?"
Mason picked up the pace to his children.
Charles: Charles lifted his shoulder. He wasn't heartbroken. "I've received very touching text messages?"
Bronwyn: "With that face? I'm sure there have been people who've drawn ye and written ye letters, even if they never sent them."
Lirim: "I can see that. Takes guts to give that up. Easy to make em, though."
Charles: He gave a soft laugh. "It's a flattering thought. I suppose we'll never know."
Bronwyn: "Aye, it does. I remember writin' a few letters myself when I was young and shovin' them away in a drawer somewhere."
Lirim: "Still around, maybe? My Mema had this book, had all sorts of love letters - and break up letters - from history. Went back two hundred years, I think."
Charles: "Oh, that's fascinating! Your own little piece of history!" He was delighted.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn nodded. "Aye, they should still be in my old bedroom somewhere. My mama didn't really move anythin' around."
Her face lit. "That's lovely! Does she still collect them?"
Lirim: "Probably. Some of em got published in a book about the same thing. Y'all want a copy?"
Charles: "I'd love one!"
Bronwyn: "Absolutely, I would, too. And ye're both welcome to my letters if I ever find them."
Mason/Rory: The children kept their energy for only four blocks before becoming distracted with their sugary treasures, talking to each other, and complaining of the cold. Despite the chilly wind, Rory, for the first time, refused a piggy-back ride from his father. Not in front of company! But he would ask to make smores, and for hot chocolate with pumpkin marshmallows.
Charles: Charles gently tugged on one of Cynthia's braids, holding out a hand for Rory's empty wrappers. "Done with trick-or-treating already? We can head back, if you'd like. Or home?"
Bronwyn: "I'm with Rory, smores and hot chocolate sound really good right now."
Bronwyn bent to pin back Aedan's hair to keep it out of his eyes. The wind was wreaking havoc with those curls.
"What do ye want, lovey?"
Mason/Aedan/Cynthia/Rory: "Can I have hot chocolate?" Aedan looked to his mother hopefully.
Cynthia was ready for warmth; Rory was ready for a chocolaty feast, which also translated to home.
Mason turned his son around, patted his back. "March."
Charles: "Back it is, then." Charles would not raise protest. He was always ready for warmth, but more importantly, this evening was about the children. "Did you enjoy yourselves?"
Bronwyn: She smiled and nodded. "Aye, but ye have to promise me to drink all the tonic I make ye first, okay?" Being part werewolf, Aedan's sensitivity to chocolate was always something they had to be aware of. Luckily, it was mild enough that with the right magical precautions, it didn't hinder him from enjoying it completely.
"Did ye get a good candy haul?"
Lirim/Mason: Mason watched in mild amusement as the children spoke at once, bedding down the urge to correct what was quickly becoming rising voices as they compared candy and bargained chocolate versus everything else.
"Gimmie a Twix before ya give em all away, child," said Lirim.
Charles: Charles slipped his hand into his husband's, similarly allowing the children to enjoy themselves without scolding, on such an evening. "Are we going to the party, or turning in for the night? If not, I'll ring Ro and let her know."
Bronwyn: Bronwyn laughed at the chorus of excited voices. Oh yes, it had definitely been a good haul this year. "Aye, a Twix for daddy and a cherry Jolly Rancher for yer mama."
Lirim/Mason: "We'll go t'the Moon if ya want," Mason said. The mask was removed once reaching their street. Placed on Rory's head, grinning at his son's scowl.
Lirim unwrapped his candy and stuffed the wrapper in his pocket. A quick cheers with Bronwyn before popping the whole thing into his mouth.
Charles: That face! He turned to kiss it, briefly. "Oh, yes. A trip to the moon is definitely in order. Perhaps for Christmas."
He spotted the empty cauldron that told of their arrival and laughed. "Gone, already! I hope at least some of the little kids got candy." Charles had a bag stashed at Mason's, just in case they were around if trick-or-treaters dropped by.
Bronwyn: She cheers-ed Lirim back with her Jolly Rancher and took Aedan's hand, continuing to discuss his candy and how cherry was clearly the superior fruity candy flavor.
The empty cauldron had her grinning from ear to ear. "That didn't take long at all!" she chuckled. "If that James Dean kid took his chance, it'll be the only one he gets. Candy's bein' handed out personally now that we're back. But first, tonic and hot chocolate. Ev'ryone take yer wrappers to the trash."
Lirim/Mason: "Make yourselves at home," Lirim smiled, dropped his hat as soon as they were in the door. Easily made a mess again with a quick swipe of his hand. "Pretty much a mirror image, right?" More colorful than the sharp white and neutral palette next door.
Something paused Mason in the doorway.
"Gonna have'ta get rid of that," he hummed, "'less ya wanna take my head off."
Lirim seemed dumbfounded for a moment before it clicked, eyes widening. "Right. Two sec." The many wards placed by - no matter. He'd assumed they'd faded, and then forgotten them completely.
"Bronnie, ya remember which board it was?"
Charles: His eyebrows vanished behind chestnut fringe for a moment. "No, we can't have that. I do prefer you with your head attached, dearest." And he'd stick by his husband's side until the wards were lifted.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn had forgotten them as well, mostly because she'd placed so many of her own.
"It's the one with the scuff mark from my high heel. Three boards to the right o' the bookshelf."
Lirim: "Got it." He'd almost got up for the kitchen, for a butter knife, before remembering his own damn abilities and pulling up the board with gentle coaxing from his hovering hand.
"There it is," he sighed. An unassuming brown bag no bigger than his palm.
"Is this really a ward, or a charm? I forget the damn lingo."
Charles: Charles gave Mason's hand a gentle squeeze. "Head safe? And the rest of your bits?"
Bronwyn: "It's a hex bag, they can be multipurpose. Let's put it somewhere out o' the way for now. I'll dispose of it properly later."
Lirim/Mason: "I'll put in the backyard." Seemed far enough, since being in the floorboard hadn't taken the demon's head living one wall away.
The children had already taken to the kitchen. Mason could hear gasps. A moment later seeing a fluffy white cat flee upstairs in a panic.
He held his hand out. A lack of static as Lirim excused himself to the back door. Fucking angels.
"Head's safe," he confirmed, stepping inside.
Bronwyn: "Don't scare Pancakes, lovies!" Well, one of them would be receiving a swipe at the ankle at some point this evening. Pancakes would require some soothing.
"Aye, verra much so. Sit, sit. What would ye like, what can I get ye?"
Charles: "Remember how it was with Frankie, in the beginning," he called to his children. "Be patient and don't harass the cat!"
He shook his head, fond, and took the offered seat. "I'm quite all right, darling. Thank you."
Lirim/Mason/Aedan: Lirim was laughing at the sight of Jude. The patient older tabby, accepting his fate in Aedan's arms, carried about with dangling legs.
"Y'all gonna say no t'some wine? What about some," what the hell was this, "pumpkin liqueur? When'd I get this? Was this you?" he asked Bronwyn.
Mason stood beside Charles for a beat, hand firm on the back of his neck, massaging. He separated long enough to find the children.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn looked at the label on the bottle. "Oh! Aye, it was me. I wanted to make an adult pumpkin spice latte. It was bloody good too. I want to try it in pumpkin pie."
Charles: "I'll never say no to wine." A statement that was perhaps a little too true. "Or pie."
Lirim/Aedan: "I do have a chocolate... mud... pie... thing. S'got some cake crumbled on top like dirt and -"
"GUMMIES!" Aedan shouted. "Mama! Can I - Can we have some?"
Bronwyn: "Let me make yer tonic first, then ye can have some. It won't take long, promise." She didn't want an upset stomach ruining his Halloween.
Luckily, she kept all the ingredients on hand and was able to get it going fairly quickly. "Do ye want me to mix it in water or in juice?"
Charles: "Sounds interesting. I can't say I've ever tried that before." But chocolate was chocolate. He reached out for the minds of his family. Where had they gotten off to?
Mason/Aedan: "Apple juice, please." Better manners around company, Lirim noted to self. That was usually the case.
The children had surrounded the cat tower and released Jude, who took to cleaning himself just out of reach at the top. The children were bored within moments.
"Put y'all's candy on the table. We'll go through em," said Mason, casting a quick glance to Lirim. Chocolate pie and red wine. This was turning into an absolute gem of an evening, Lirim thought.
Bronwyn: "Okay, I'll mix it with apple." She kissed the top of his head and got a jar. Time was she would've gotten a bowl and whisked everything together but shaking it until it was mixed was easier. And faster.
Speed was of the essence today.
A few herbs, a few mysterious liquids, and a little magic later, Bronwyn was pouring her concoction into a cup of juice and handing it to Aedan. The tonic made it take on a curiously orange color but the taste wouldn't be altered too much. It would be as if some strong, unsweetened tea had been added to it.
Charles: Charles smirked, but left them to their piles of sweets. Lectures about cavities and thorough tooth-brushing could wait until bedtime. "Can I help with anything?" he asked their host.
Lirim: "If ya wanna help me cut up some pie?" offered between grunts of effort as he argued with a corkscrew and a rather large bottle of zinfandel. Last time he tried to pull a cork via telekinesis had resulted in both a broken cork and bottle. His patience was not made for such delicate work.
Charles: "I think I may be better suited to opening wine," he offered, laughing, and stood to lend a hand.
Lirim/Mason: "He has a gift," said Mason. "If there's alcohol, he can open it. No safe too secure, no lock too strong."
"In the case," Lirim offered the bottle. Corkscrew far too deeply embedded.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn left them to the wine while she got the hot chocolate going, keeping one eye on Aedan to make sure he drank all the juice.
"If that is indeed the case, then Charles, there's a bottle o' scotch in my pantry that seems to have been welded shut. Yer help would be appreciated."
Charles: "Hilarious." He fixed his husband with a very dry expression before turning his attention to the lodged corkscrew. "Goodness." It took a bit of coaxing, but Charles really was a magician of bottle-opening. With a triumphant grin, he set bottle and cork on the table a minute later. "I'd be happy to help, Bronwyn darling."
Lirim/Mason/Aedan: "Lucien been gone that long ya gettin' your whiskey stuck?" Lirim laughed. There were only two Fera in existence which didn't frighten him to his core. Lucien was family, as much as he had fought tooth and nail.
Aedan handed his cup to his father, ready for his hot chocolate.
Mason settled between his children at the glass table, stealing another PayDay for Charles, and a swirly lollipop to bite like a heathen for himself.
Bronwyn: "It hasn't been stuck as long as that," Bronwyn chuckled, putting all her tonic ingredients away. "I was makin' somethin' with it and I'm pretty sure some caramel got stuck in the threads o' the bottle that I forgot to wipe off." That was her theory anyway.
Charles: He had to wince. Could a demon chip a tooth? He didn't know, but it just wasn't right. 'Heinous.' He smirked at his husband before plucking the candy from his hand. "Thank you." He fiddled with the wrapper.
"Bit of warm water should do the trick, then," he said to Bronwyn. "At least, that's how I get syrup bottles open." He thought idly of how perfect a stack of pancakes would be.
Lirim/Mason: Lirim glanced Charles' way, wondering what it was he was borderline yearning for. Maybe he didn't want to know. Sexual desire seemed to just exude from the two of them. Inspiring, but he was grateful to not be telepathic.
Mason watched his husband with challenging eyes, taking another slow performative bite.
'Should see me with jawbreakers.'
"Ffffriggin' hungry," Lirim sighed, catching that particular word split second. "Who wanted pie?" A few small plates had been filled. Ones for the children half size.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn grinned at Lirim. Nice save, she mouthed to him.
"I'm pretty sure we all wanted pie. I definitely do, and that hot chocolate. Is there such a thing as too much chocolate in one sittin'?" Probably, but it was Halloween! It was a day for treats.
Speaking of.
"I need to go refill the cauldron for any more kids we get."
Charles: 'You're a madman.' He shuddered at the very thought, but the lightning flash of a grin gave away his amusement. He popped the little candy into his mouth and bent to give his husband the briefest of kisses. They were guests, after all. Manners make the man.
"Not in my opinion, but I'm hardly an authority. I can fill it, if you'd like. Or start on the hot chocolate?"
Lirim/Mason: "You'll have chocolate every day, but hell hath no fury if it's spicy."
Lirim looked up at the couple, impatiently chewing and swallowing before speaking. "For serious? What about a chocolate martini? Or a mudslide?"
Bronwyn: "No no, it's fine. I'll get the candy."
She went to get the bag, only to poke her head back in a few seconds later. "Are chocolate martinis bein' made? If so I want one!"
Charles: His nose wrinkled in undisguised distaste. "Of course not. Spicy chocolate is an abomination." Charles lifted a shoulder. "I don't mind a splash of bourbon in my hot chocolate."
Bronwyn: "What's this spicy chocolate ye keep mentionin'?" Bronwyn asked the room at large. "Spicy like chilies or spiced like mulled wine?"
Lirim/Mason/Rory: "I mean I want chile-chocolate melted n'put in my mouth," said Mason. "With cinnamon."
Rory's eyes lit up. That was exactly what he wanted.
"I got a habanero in the fridge?"
Charles: Ugh. Corrupting the children. "I'll settle for whipped cream, if you have it."
Bronwyn: "There's a sweet shop near my store that has all kinds of chocolate. I'll bet they have chile chocolate."
Lirim/Mason: "Still open?" Another PayDay was swiped from the pile, now divided into three among the children. Cynthia had traded most chocolate for bubble gum.
"That pastry shop?" Lirim asked. "Oh! I got uh, Cool Whip?"
Charles: "That'll do," he nodded. All this talk of peppers had him needing a balm.
Bronwyn: "No, no' that one, although I have been meanin' to go into that pastry shop. The sweets shop is in the opposite direction, next to that maternity store I shopped at when I was pregnant with Aedan."
Lirim/Mason: Oh fuck, the memories. Both Lirim and Mason were staring, and both looked away almost simultaneously.
"Hot chocolate with cinnamon, then. Chocolate dipped peppers when home." To the delight of their son.
Plates were each given forks, and a cabinet opened of its own accord, so it seemed. A pot floating to the stove.
Charles: Charles lifted an eyebrow at that little exchange but said nothing. He finally claimed a seat and a plate to go along with it.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn noticed it as well, and though she had a clue as to the cause, she filed it away to ask later.
And there was the doorbell.
"Candy time!" Off she went to hand out treats.
Lirim/Aedan: Aedan ran off to help his mama, and Lirim only glanced over his shoulder before looking back at the cocoa powder, milk, and small jar of cinnamon. As though he'd never made this before in his life.
"Thinkin' hot chocolate and a chocolate martini."
Charles: "Do--" He chewed and swallowed a mouthful of pie before making another attempt. "Do you need a hand?"
Lirim/Mason: Lirim slowly looked back with apologetic eyes. "Aedan drinks Ghirardelli with peppermint because God only knows why. I dunno how to do it up fancy."
Bronwyn: "He knows it's the superior combination," Bronwyn said as she returned with Aedan in tow. "Don't ye, lovely? Chocolate and peppermint all the way."
Charles: Charles stood, pushing his plate closer to his family in case any of them wanted to finish his barely-touched dessert. "It's hot chocolate, my friend. It hardly needs to be fancy." He took a place beside his host at the stove. He was no cook, but warm drinks were a skill he'd mastered. Enough milk for everyone was tipped into the saucepan to heat.
Lirim/Mason: Peppermint? Rory was making a face. One Aedan had made at the idea of spicy chocolate. Mason was smiling at Bronwyn.
"I don't do fancy, but I didn't figure y'all'd want the Aedan special," Lirim chuckled.
Bronwyn: Bronwyn just chuckled, returning Mason's smile as she bent to kiss his head.
"One of us wants the Aedan special," she said, taking a seat at the table. She'd probably end up standing to get the door many many times before the night was out but in between she wanted all the time she could get with everyone.
Charles: "Oh, well, no peppermint for me, thanks. I'm a cocoa purist." He leaned against the counter while he waited for the milk to heat.
Lirim: "Purists go first, then." He looked around the room. At this blend of two families. He never would have imagined something like this years ago. Couldn't even imagine his son. Sometimes he still couldn't get over it.
"Happy Halloween, y'all."
Bronwyn: Bronwyn caught Lirim looking around and smiled. She wondered what was going through his head but judging from his expression, it was only lovely things. As it should be at moments like this one.
"Happy Halloween indeed!" she said brightly as the doorbell summoned her once more.
Charles: "Fair enough." He lifted his head in the following silence. Charles, too, was curious, but not enough to go digging. His mouth curled into a smile and he nodded. "Hear, hear!"
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Seasonal depression is on its way back, so why not analyze another scene from Red Dead Depression 2???????
I’ve been meaning to do another screeching ramble about one of Red Dead Redemption 2′s many incredible scenes, but just couldn’t put my finger on which one. So I threw a rock and hit the Saint Denis bank robbery, that’s the story
strap in, motherfuckers, it’s time to regret the concept of empathy
It is such a missed opportunity that we weren’t able to chaperone the girls as they went about putting on their various bullshit personas to gather reconnaissance. I want to see Tilly reading a newspaper with glasses, a fake nose and a mustache
Something Red Dead Redemption 2 spoiled me on is just how much ROI they squeeze into every last line of dialogue. Not a single word feels generic or hamfisted. Every sentence, every twitch and blink, adds up to a greater whole. The more I watch, the more I unearth. There are several AAA titles that frequently get painted with the ‘Good Dialogue’ brush like Uncharted that don’t hold a candle to Rockstar’s work here.
Take Hosea grilling Dutch here, for example:
Dutch acquiescing to Hosea’s justified criticism is depressing in its hindsight. Sir Spam der Linde is an arrogant blowhard that could give Dr. Gregory House a run for his money...and yet he still mumbles and bows his head when being told he needs to get his shit together. Compare this to earlier in the game, when he was snipping at both Hosea and Arthur for all their doubts and questions. Double that for the camp interactions you can find where Dutch and Hosea argue about the Blackwater Heist.
Is reality finally sinking in a little for our manic pixie dream man? Does he just have a hard time bullying Hosea, who’s around 5,000 years old and doesn’t give a fuck? For every answer you get, you get another question...and I fucking love it. This character -- and the series at large -- toes the razor-thin line between transparent portrayals and thicc layers of intrigue. This kind of carefully sewn subtlety is sorely lacking in not just videogames, but mainstream media in general. Sometimes I still can’t believe I got to experience this game.
This little scene is just one of many ingredients to make you wonder that, if the bank job had turned out all right...if Dutch really would’ve started changing for the better.
Arthur clutching his belt buckle like he clutches my neck in my dreams
So the plan is made and the cowboys are off to Sand Penis, and I bet nobody in the history of the world has made that joke before
Just the build-up to the bank sends goosebumps up my arms.
Even with apprehension in the back of your mind, it’s hard not to get sucked into the whirlwind of adrenaline here. You have each member playing their part, from Abigail as the helpless damsel to Charles and Bill as crowd control. Great back-and-forth dialogue as characters anticipate what’s about to happen (with some delicious doubting from John). It’s like a group project, except you don’t want to slap your partners!!!*
*except micah ‘I Haven’t Scrubbed My Nailbeds In Fifty-Three Years’ bell
Fun fact: if Dutch hadn’t said ‘one last time’, the bank robbery would’ve been a success. Should’ve browsed TVTropes.
The direction of this game remains impeccable.
This is a simple shot of a few dudes riding their horse...and it’s made just that much grander by the camera angles, slung low to the ground to create a stronger sense of scale. With the tense drums in the backing track and the sudden quiet that’s befallen our beloved anti-heroes, this provides the perfect finishing touches to one of the most memorable and stressful parts of the game:
The runway.
We start off this display of cowboy couture with Dutch Fam Der Linde, well-known in the West for wearing crushed velvet while hiking the open trail. Dashingly long coattails make up the bulk of this iconic look, with a sexy pop of red to round it all out. A complimentary red bandana lined with a hint of gold brings out the buttons, chain and belt buckle. Very regal. Much fucky. Still want to slap him for future crimes, so 9/10
A surprising comeback from the man who invented skid marks. Lavender pinstripes add a splash of character on an otherwise minimalist black ensemble. Complimentary silver bow on the hat and dark bandana makes me uncomfortably wet, so 9.5/10, would leer again
A classic suit with just a touch of more. A wide velvet collar with matching velvet cuffs create a refined softness, contrasting the gold buttons and dramatic coattails. Shoes shiny. Skin moisturized. Even his everyday ponytail looks fancier than ever. 15/10, if Javier kicked over my sandcastle I’d thank him
What are those????????? I think Bill got pranked by Uncle while out shopping for robbery gear. That, or he confused one of Susan’s tablecloths for a three-piece. The topmost layer of dust is so thick it could be peeled off and donated to charity. 3/10, could probably still pass for a picnic table
Shameless. Unacceptable. Walking around like a bootleg Egoraptor with a crinkly suit that looks like that oil-stained pizza napkin you keep forgetting to toss. Why did I take a screencap that makes it look like Dutch is jacking him off. Micah’s even jutting his beer gut out in an ominous foreshadowing for the Guarma chapter. ThereIsn’tANumberLowEnough/10
Arthur strolling in with that slow, confident walk that gets me pregnant in both legs, someone please fetch the plan B
Dutch calls a Hosea an artist and is most certainly one himself. He speaks with the affect of a poet, even as he’s holding a pistol in people’s faces and making them shit themselves in slow-motion. This man redefines stage presence. Why would he want anything less than the best, when this is the final hurrah of his iconic, infamous career:
THE RUNWAY: PART TWO
Bill out here just confusing everyone’s laundry for low-level loot. 5/10, may or may not be susan’s granny panties
charles: “is my iron giant cosplay valid robbery wear”
dutch: “no, charles, iron giant cosplays are not valid robbery wear”
dutch: “gorons from legend of zelda aren’t valid either”
JAVIER IF I GIVE YOU A 10/10 WILL YOU LEAVE
Here’s a little detail I didn’t notice (even after several viewings of this scene): Charles over in the corner looking like a dweeb.
Notice how awkwardly he holds that rifle: two-handed and with his knees bent, suddenly looking like he’s never handled a weapon before. This is such an odd contrast from the unapologetic badass we know. Remember, this is the same man who can wield a sawed-off shotgun one-handed like it’s nothing. One of the most adept physical fighters in a gang full of cutthroat motherfuckers.
This detail on top of his dorky robbery gear? It’s actually a peek into just how out of his element he is.
Charles has been with the gang for less than a year at this point. Even then, he’s usually helping with tracking, hunting and scouting. Whenever he goes off with Arthur on a mission, he’s always the first to suggest a peaceful route. This is not someone who’s used to robbing people for a living and it shows in the most adorable way. What you see here is a man putting on a persona of what he hopes looks like a bloodthirsty robber.
This whole scene is a fucking blast. Herding the upper-class elite into the far rom, figuring out the combination key under codenames, listening to the banter of the squad in the background. It doesn’t help I’m a slut for baroque-styled architecture and half my attention was on the pastel decor. Yeah, yeah, I know we have three thousand dollars on the line, but look at that gold filigree
These outlaws move like a finely oiled machine, not a detail out of place...which makes the ensuing mess all the more tragic.
...and this post is getting too long, so I’m going to post the second part separately. Ain’t I a stinker?
#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#RDR#RDR2#arthur morgan#john marston#dutch van der linde#javier escuella#bill williamson#hosea matthews#micah bell#charles smith#shitpost#analysis#TEDTalk#meme#my post#I want to see javier preparing that outfit at the camp#just adding blush to his mask and making tilly double-take while eating her stew
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Music to my eyes [2]
Pairing: Single dad!Bucky Barnes x reader. (Modern day AU)
Summary: As a simple worker at a record store, there’s so much you want to do in life yet, which doesn’t involve a serious relationship and much less a relationship with a guy who’s a father. Once you meet Bucky Barnes you’re not sure you can live up to that anymore.
I am sorry that this part is so short but good things are coming I promise!
Requests are open. Tagging for a permanent list and this fic are open.
Reblogging and feeback are welcome and appreciated!
Series masterlist | Masterlist
Tuesdays are sale days at the store, which obviously means they’re crowded days, and even if many people would differ, you love watching people spending their money on things as valuable as records. It’s fun to see couples walking in and buying CD’s for each other, and it’s even better when someone comes in completely clueless about music and you can instruct them about what to buy for themselves or for a gift.
Talking to a customer about the importance of buying records from the year they were published, someone pokes your shoulder, and by the insistent and almost annoying way they’re doing it, you know it’s Sam.
“Sam, I’m busy—” You turn around quickly, but stop talking as you lay eyes on a tall brunette standing beside Sam. “H-hi,” You stutter. “Can I help you?”
“Y/N, this is my friend Bucky, the one I’ve been telling you about.” Sam gestures on his direction. Slowly, you offer your hand and he gives it a firm shake. Now, Bucky swears that day, in that moment, he felt electricity running up his arm and through his body as he locked his eyes with yours for the first time. Fuck, Sam was right, you are gorgeous.
“Nice to finally meet you.” You finally smile at him and he mirrors you. The way his lips curl up mesmerizes you, you’ve never seen a warmer look on someone’s face.
“Sam has talked a lot about you, it’s good to finally see you.” His deep voice quickly catches your attention and you give Sam a quick glance, to which he responds with a nod as he walks away discreetly after telling your former costumer he’d be taking on from there.
“So, do you need help finding anything?”
“Um, well, it’s been a while since I’ve bought a record or a CD, maybe you can recommend something.” He puts his hands in his jacket pockets, giving you a smirk.
“O-Of course, I can do that.” You nod, but you realize you’re actually unnerved by the way his eyes softly caress your features. “Follow me.” You don’t know anything about him, except for what Sam has told you, so figuring out what kind of music he might be into will not be so easy. You get to the Hard Rock section, surely something almost anyone would like and it’s not like he knows nothing about music, but he let you pick something for him.
“I’m sure you know them,” You say, handing him Perfect Waves by Rush. “But if you don’t own that album, you definitely should.”
“Um, I’ve only heard of them, but not enough.” He takes de CD in his hand. “I’ll definitely give it a try.”
“Oh, and if we’re talking about the 80’s, then The Cure is a must.” You say, a bit more excitedly, leading him to a different section the store likes to call 80’s forever.
“Oh, I know them, I just don’t own any CD’s. Do you have, um, The Head on the Door?” You stop beside the stand and look at him with excitement.
“Yeah! We do, and I love that album, too!” You respond, earning a chuckle from him. “I prefer Disintegration, though. I know it’s their best known record but it is just brilliant.” You add after finding the album he asked for.
“I’ll have to agree on that, so I’ll take both of them, then.” He smiles and lets you find the second one, but you miss the way he stares at you with glistening eyes as you’re so concentrated in browsing through the CD’s.
“Here you go. Any other recommendation you’d like?”
“Um, sure, I’d like to take a couple more. Enlighten me.” You chuckle and nod, then lead him around the store telling him about a bunch of artist he didn’t know about, and he talked about some you didn’t know before. Unconsciously, you forgot you had a store full of people that apparently Sam was taking care of on his own. But he knew exactly what he was doing. Bucky has a great sense of humor, something Sam’s friends have to have if they’re going to deal with him for a long time; he is very smart and you just learned he’s a Physical therapist and without noticing, he made you talk about the back problems you’ve been having.
“I’m sure it’s nothing, sometimes I forget the pain.” You shrug. He’s got six CD’s in his hands right now, you’ve never sold so much that easily.
“No, come on, pain is not nothing. If you want help, I’m here for you.” He gently pats your shoulder, earning a chuckle from you. Before you know it, you’ve exchanged numbers and he made you promise you’d give him a call for at least one session. Time flew by talking to him, it was all so fast that now the store is rather empty, with just a couple of people at the cashier being attended so nicely by Sam. Internally, you thank Sam for being so considerate with you.
Walking with Bucky to the cashier, he finally says,
“Thanks for the help, Y/N, I’ve had fun talking to you.” You step behind the counter and he hands you the CD’s for you to scan them.
“I’ve had fun, too, Bucky, you can always come back if you need to update your collection.” He rests his elbows on the counter, waiting for you to finish.
“Only to update my collection? Can’t I come to say hi some other day?” His words make you stop instantly, clenching your hand around the code scanner and you blink rapidly.
“Um, sure, of course you can.” You nod, hopefully not too eagerly. He smiles at you and you want to slap yourself for reacting the way you did. You finish scanning his purchases, and as you hand him the bag, he asks how much he owes you, and hands you the money after you tell him.
“Thanks again, I’m glad we met.”
“You’re welcome.” You nod. “Me too.”
/
“So, what do you think of Bucky?” Sam says as you’re getting ready to close for the day.
“Uh, I think he’s great, actually. It took you long enough to bring him over.” You reply, putting some records back in place.
“I saw a lot of smiles from afar, is he that funny?” Sam asks as if he’s surprised.
“He’s very funny, and we have some things in common. I didn’t know he’s a therapist, that’s so cool! He practically forced me to call him for a session after I told him about my defective back.”
“Did he?” Sam quirks up an eyebrow, and you hum. “Wow that was great progress for less than one day.”
“Come on, I don’t want to get ahead of things. He’s nice and we had fun but that’s it for now.”
“You know, we already made plans for Friday again, this time you’re coming, right?”
“I guess.” You shrug, making two words hide your excitement of seeing Bucky again.
“Want to grab dinner? I’m starving!”
“Sure, you’ve earned it tonight.” You wink at him and he laughs, knowing he’s achieving his goal of setting you and Bucky up.
| Tagging some members of the fam I think might enjoy this (feel free to ask me to remove your tag)
@sebbbystaaan @chloerinebarnes @stuckonjbbarnes @mushyjellybeans @honeyvbarnes @babblingbonky @mrwinterr @valkyriesryde @mypassionsarenysins @imma-new-soul @livyourextralife
Fic taglist: @eliza5616
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#single dad bucky#sam wilson#steve rogers#peggy carter#captain america#marvel#mcu#the falcon#winter soldier#the falcon and the winter soldier#sebastian stan
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Listen, if you don't fill out all of those numbers and tell me everything about your MC I'm going to feel robbed
Oh geez, fam! ...aight. That took me a minute. But below you will find out more about my girl, Niri!
1. What is their favourite food?—
Cheeseburgers and carrots.
2. Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal? –
Not a fan of snakes, lizards, frogs, sharks.
3. What do they wear to bed? –
Shorts and a t-shirt. Sometimes nothing at all!! That had to stop when she moved into the HoL though. Brothers poppin’ in at all hours gettin’ an eyeful. Lucifer was upset.
4. Do they like cuddling?—
1000000000%. Niri’s a big ol’ cuddle bug. Asmo’s all about it. So is Beel.
5. Do they have a secret handshake with anyone? -- With Astaroth. It’s quite elaborate and they only ever do it when they decide to get up to trouble.
6. What do they look like? –
She cute if I may say so myselffff (don’t judge me, she’s a self insert hah!) Mid to slightly above average height for a human female, fairly toned. Brown eyes, mid-back length hair that’s brown at the root, fades to a teal and purple under layers. Sometimes her hair will fade to a light yellowy-green. She has the hookup for dye from Barbatos who likes to procure things for her from the human realm. She also has quite a few tattoos.
7. Do they like chocolate? –
Only dark. She’s allergic to additives in certain milk chocolates so she doesn’t eat it much.
8. What are their good and bad traits?
Good: Helpful, kind, encouraging, quite a hard worker in any task given her.
Bad: Easily swept up into trouble by others, will prioritize naps over other stuff sometimes, awfully flirtatious which gets her in hot water with Lucifer because apparently lesser demons keep poppin’ by the house with gifts also HUMAN, DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO LORD DIAVOLO?! Oopsssssss~ Also, you know how Luci’s always doing the “MAAAAMMMOOOONNNNN…”…yeah, that’s almost always followed by “NIIIIIRIIIIIIIIII….”
9. Do they have any artistic talent?
Yes. She’s a musician so there’s that…and she likes to paint.
10. What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?
She likes the music room since the boys tend to spend quite a bit of time in there together, but she’s usually found in the kitchen making loads of food and baked goods…also, that’s where you’re more likely to find Beel, and she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes Beel.
11. Do they believe in luck?
To an extent. She believes that luck exists, but she thinks relying on it is a bit naïve.
12. Can they do magic?
Like pull a rabbit out of a hat type thing? Yes. She picked up a few little tricks here and there from a friend who loves show magic. Def not the real stuff though.
13. Do they believe in dragons?
She didn’t until she went to the Devildom. Not that they just have dragons hangin’ out all willy-nilly, but she’s heard stories from the brothers and others about dragons.
14. What is a pet peeve of theirs?
Rudeness and liars who don’t give up even after they’ve been caught in the lie. Also people who demand things of others as if they’re property and not living beings with feelings …this isn’t about Belphegor at all. Nope. She doesn’t have issues with him still.
15. What was the last thing they cried about?
She was able to talk to all her bandmates at once for her weekly call home. They all just really miss each other, ok? It sucks that she has to lie to them about where she is because she knows they’re worried about her, but it was just nice to hear their voices.
16. What is their sexuality?
Pan.
17. Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?
We’ll narrow this down to the Devildom. Niri gets along with everyone and literally loves all the beings she’s met and knows she could count on them for most anything, but there’s definitely a more solid feeling to her connection with Beelzebub. They sort of just get to be vulnerable and entirely open with one another and there is never judgement or ill will, even when Beel eats her secret snack stash…again.
She’s kind of getting to that point with Astaroth as well, but she can sense he’s still a little guarded in certain aspects, and she’s not going to push.
18. Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?
Yes, quite a few. It’s not her favorite thing to talk about since she’s been quite unlucky in that aspect, but hey, the past is the past.
19. What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.
Her actual family family (with the exception of her brother) are not close in the least. They’re sort of barely on speaking terms. Her chosen family (comprised of her band and some of the closest staff) is extremely close.
20. Do they have a pet?
No. She loves animals and had a dog up until recently, but they passed. It’s okay though, they had a good long life and it wasn’t painful for them when it happened.
21. Do they have a familiar?
Nope. Non-magical.
22. Are they a supernatural being?
Nope! “Boring” human, but she does seem to always find herself in weird situations that are sorta paranormal.
23. How do they usually wear their hair?
It really just depends on the day. If she had time to work on it, it’s down and straight. If it’s a rush in the morning (read: fight for the bathroom because Beel won’t MOVE) she’ll toss it in a bun or ponytail depending on how hot it is outside. There are the odd days when she’ll just let it vibe in its natural wavy/curly state, but she kind of got fed up with the brothers calling her a sheep because it’s so fluffy.
24. Can they play an instrument? If so, what instrument and what can they play?
Yes! She learned guitar and bass at a young age and was tinkering with drums before she was whisked away to the Devildom.
25. What type a high schooler are/were they?
She was the quiet weird kid that didn’t quite fit in with the weird weird crowd, but also wasn’t popular. Plenty of people knew her or of her, but she mainly stuck with her group of friends and was nice to everyone.
26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?
Yes. Just small bits of violence. No one of import, tbh. But there was that one time they all went out to party at the fall and Mammon and Levi started teasing her and in her drunken state, Niri went to punch Mammon who managed to duck so she hit Levi square in the nose. He was fiiiiiiine.
27. What is their favourite holiday?
Halloween because it’s fun, Christmas because of the togetherness, and EASTER BECAUSE MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!
28. If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?
A pass to go from the Devildom to the Human realm and back whenever she wants forever.
29. Do they wants kids? If they already have kids, do they want more?
No. Never.
30. Do they have a job?
Yes? Being a singer in a band is a job, right? It doesn’t always feel like a job because it’s awesome, but it’s a job.
31. Do they know how to drive?
Yes. She has convinced Mammon to let her drive his car on a few occasions and every time they get back he swears NEVER AGAIN. She a little speed demon.
32. Do they get stressed out easily?
Funny story, actually…YES. But she is pretty good at not letting it show. So on the outside she’s like la-la-la~ but inside it’s all AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~
33. Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?
Absolutely lol. Niri has gone through a few colors in her life, but her favorite is and always will be the teal. (Fun fact: the purple came from a happy accident a few years back when she dyed over a pink shade and a layer turned out purple. She liked it so now she does it that way on purpose.)
34. Have they ever broken the law?
Never anything egregious, but she’s gotten tickets for stuff in the human world. Disturbing the peace, speeding, she was fined once (along with her bandmates) for a surprise free show they did in front of a train station which got a lot more attention than they were expecting and wound up shutting down a couple city blocks. Oooooooooopsss~
35. Do they own a plant?
She’s really bad with plants. REALLY bad. She was gifted a plant by Simeon a couple weeks into the exchange program and it took an embarrassingly long time for her to notice it was a fake plant…since he knows she sucks at keeping things alive.
36. Have they ever rode a horse before?
Once, and it was a terrifying experience so she just keeps her distance now.
37. What is their favorite gif?
anything featuring Titus Andromedon.
38. Do they get along with others easily?
She tries to. It’s not always possible, but she tries, dammit!
39. Do they have any tattoos?
Several, yes. One arm sleeve done, starting the other arm, both thighs have massive pieces on them and both ribs done as well. There are also a few small things on her fingers and back.
40. If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?
Lotta hair. Looooooottttta hair. And heavily winged eyeliner. Big lashes.
41. What is their favourite breed of dog?
Huskies. They’re just so cute and sassy! And perfectly sized!! Great cuddle buddies and fun to run with!
42. Do they live with anyone? If so, who?
Not in the human world, but she’s got 7 kinda irritating roomies in the Devildom!
43. Where is their dream vacation?
She’s traveled extensively, so there isn’t anywhere she dreams of going that she hasn’t already seen. Her favorite place is anywhere mountainous and lush.
44. Do they know more than one language?
Yep. Niri’s a language nerd. Because she likes to speak to fans and stuff, she has set it on herself to learn as many languages as she can. She’s not perfectly fluent in all of them, but it’s a good handful that she can hold a full conversation in. She and Satan like to practice with one another around the house, despite complaints from the others.
45. Are they a quick learner?
Depends. Most things, yes…..math and processes requiring math, NO.
46. Have they ever won a contest before? If so, what for? What did they win?
No, she’s not really the luck having type.
47. If the world were to end in 24 hours, where would they be and who would they be with?
Probably hugging Beel. They hug often. They’re kinda always together. It’s gross according to Leviathan and Belphegor.
48. What does their room look like?
She didn’t change much in the room she was given at the HoL. Just added her fake plant from Simeon and a few human things…she actually got the “Hang in There” kitty poster just for kicks. Lucifer hates it.
49. If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have?
A dodo bird. Because they’re weird and cool.
50. If they got called out by someone, what would they do?
Laugh and argue probably. Depends what they’re calling her out on.
51. Have they ever shot a gun before?
Yep. Actually enjoys shooting, it’s a fun stress reliever. She makes a point to drop by shooting ranges every once in a while back home.
52. Have they ever been axe throwing?
Once at a renaissance festival on an odd week of downtime. She didn’t do so well. The throwing was fine, but she never hit the target. Just be glad she didn’t hit a person either!
53. What is something that they want but can’t have?
At the moment, all the people she loves in one place.
54. Do they know how to fish?
Nope! She’s a mess with that kind of thing. Also, she doesn’t like the idea of fishing for anything herself. It makes her cry to think of the fish on the hook :<.
55. What is something they always wanted to do but too scared?
Hmm…Niri tries to live her life in a way that she won’t have regrets, so even if something is scary, she’ll pluck up the courage to do it. But…she still hasn’t jumped out of a plane.
56. Do they own their own baby pictures?
Absolutely not. She cringes thinking of the outfits her parents used to put her in, so she did her best to keep those kinds of things buried and acts like they never existed. Nope. Was never a baby. Nope.
57. What makes them standout among others?
Niri is a pro at pretending she’s confident, so she tends to draw attention when she walks in a room like she owns the place. Also her hair is kinda bright.
58. Do they like to show off?
Not really. She’s flamboyant in a sense, but she doesn’t go out of her way to call attention or to be center stage…heh.
59. What is their favourite song?
She can never pick, honestly. There are so many songs that are so amazing!
60. What would be their dream vehicle?
That’s a very good question. Probably something sitting in her garage back home. Probably being driven by one of her bandmates. Because hey, what are friends for?
61. What is their favourite book?
Not that she isn’t a big reader, but she doesn’t really get the time to enjoy books. There’s always something that needs attention or someplace to be and she’s required to engage, so focusing on a book or story is hard, but she’s a fan of classic novels, poetry, and Greek tragedies are always good!
62. Who, in their opinion, makes the best food?
She likes everything Barbatos makes and thinks Luke’s desserts are fantastic, but there’s something about a human recipe that just warms her heart, so…..herself. Lol.
63. Are they approachable?
Absolutely! If you can get past her intimidating resting face.
64. Did they ever change their appearance?
Not drastically, but she has gone through a few different phases until settling on a good one.
65. What makes them smile?
The silliness of those around her. Thinking of good memories with family/friends. Puppies.
66. Do they like glowsticks?
Yes. She has a stockpile of glowsticks that the brothers keep adding to.
67. What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?
Watching the brothers bicker, even if it’s getting out of hand. It reminds her of her friends and how they always pick on one another.
68. Are they a day or night person?
Night, usually. Not that she dislikes the daytime, but day usually has so much stuff to be done whereas night is the fun stuff that doesn’t need a schedule.
69. Are they allergic to anything?
Some milk chocolate, bell peppers, and certain devildom plants.
70. What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them?
She’s a spunky little thing who loves to have fun and make others smile above all else.
71. Who is their ride or die?
In the Devildom, Beelzebub and Astaroth.
Beel for most things, and Asta for the stuff Beel won’t do.
72. Do they currently have a significant other? If not, are they going to get one later one?
Erm…eh…look, it’s never been officially labeled or anything, ok? Like yeah they’re kind always together and have pet names for each other and like always touch and cuddle and like snuggle up in bed together and stuffffffffffff but like, idk? Is Beel her dude? Like….do we wanna even get into that?????? I mean, maybe someday? Like…what? What was the question??
73. What attracts them to another person?
A genuine heart, a killer smile, and a rockin’ bod. Yeah okay look everyone can be a little shallow sometimes okay get off her case >__<.
74. Who is one person that can always make them laugh?
She’s a damn fool and will laugh at ANYTHING, so it’s not hard. Everyone makes her laugh. The girl will 9 times out of 10 laugh at herself for the dumbest moments.
75. Have they ever partied too hard and their friends had to take them home?
Oh yes many times. Many many times. One of the first few times she hung out (went on a date) one-on-one with Beel they had a drinking contest and as it turns out, he can really hold his devil liquor.
76. Who would be their cuddle buddy?
She’ll cuddle up to Beel 99.9% of the time because he’s big and warm and always happy to hold, but she also really enjoys cuddling with Asmodeus. He’s such a sweetie and he smells so nice and they just snuggle and talk and laugh and it’s a nice escape. (Loads of times there are Asmo x Niri x Asta sandwiches in Asmo’s room.)
77. Who would cheer them up after a long day?
She tends to go to one of the brothers depending on what kind of day it’s been. Most of the time it’s gonna be Beel because again, big/warm/happy to hold her, but there are occasions where she’ll drag Beel to one of the others’ rooms and they’ll just hang out.
78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?
I mean…Beel. Lol. He’s right there.
79. What object to the care for the most?
She has a picture of her friends from back home that sits on her desk. She treasures that above all while she’s down in the Devildom.
80. Do they like other people’s children?
Sure. Kids are fine as long as they go back to their parents after a bit.
81. How would they react if someone broke into their home?
Seeing as there’s always someone coming into her room regardless if she’s there or not, she probably would just shrug it off. If someone decided to have a bad lapse in judgement and break into the HoL? She wouldn’t have to lift a finger.
82. Does anyone make them have butterflies in their stomach?
I mean….Beel. Lol. He so big and cute! Also Diavolo because he also big and cute.
83. What is something that they are good at?
Crying to get out of trouble. She’s a little shit. Lol.
84. What is their neutral expression?
Niri kinda always looks pissed off or uninterested? Until she smiles and you realize oh, she’s just a big ol’ faker.
85. Do they like to cook?
Yes. It’s one of her very favorite things to do!
86. What is something they can’t leave home without?
Her phone! (and Beel) but like, there’s just so much a phone can do!
87. Who is someone that they rely on?
Have I mentioned ever that Simeon is (or was at one time) Niri’s guardian angel? He seems to always be there and ready to help in any way, so she’s pretty reliant on him and hopes he feels the same toward her. (He does. Cue uwu’s)
88. Do they liked to be tickled?
Absolutely not. She’s extremely ticklish and hates being tickled. She flails and cries.
89. Have they ever been a sword fight before?
No. No she has not lol. Unless empty wrapping paper tubes count? She’s done that.
90. What is a joke that they would find funny?
All the bad ones. All of them. Ugly laugh here we go!
91. Do they have a place that can go and turn off their brain?
The gardens at RAD. It’s peaceful and there’s a great view of the sky.
92. What was their childhood like?
Not bad, but not memorable. There was a lot of pressure put on her to be a perfect kid, and she didn’t get to have a whole ton of fun.
93. What are they like as an adult?
Responsible, but definitely fun-loving. Like I mentioned before, she likes to live in a way that she won’t ever regret not having done something she wanted to do, or regret any actions she took, so she’s always got an open mind and welcomes new experiences. She’s a big ol’ kid.
94. Do they take criticism well?
Yes. She welcomes criticism in any form as she is always looking to be the best person she can be.
95. Have they ever jumped out of a plane?
No. Not yet!
96. Who do they like to make jokes with?
Literally anyone. A total joker. Big big clown.
97. Have you ever drawn them before? If you are comfortable with it, would you post a picture?
Yes! I draw Niri every once in a while. I actually need to draw her again soon! I miss that girl.
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