#which makes me feel really bad for any future patients of theirs with anything more complex than the most accepted shit

[chaos-in-one]

Oh my god my fellow psych majors need to pull their heads out of their asses

Being a psych major is not the same as being a professional in the psych field. You are still studying to be one, you do not have your degree yet.

Being a psych major does not mean you know as much as, let alone better than, the actual professionals.

Being a psych major does not mean you are a specialist who is an authority on any specific disorder. Hell, having a degree does not even mean that. Unless you are an actual specialist, you do not know better than the people who specialize in that disorder.

Being a psych major does not make you an authority on what people have going on in their brains. You are not a professional yet.

Being a psych major does not mean you are automatically right on anything psychology related. There is a reason you do not have a degree yet.

Psych majors cannot determine who has what disorders. You are not licensed to make a diagnosis, because you are still a student, not a professional.

You cannot know what is going on in a strangers brain just because you major in psych. Even licensed professionals cannot do that. No matter how long they studied, or have been working in psych. There is a reason the diagnostic process for most disorders takes so long. So you, as someone who does not even have a degree yet, definitely cannot make that call where professionals cannot.

And, most importantly, being a psych major does NOT give you a free pass to be an asshole to mentally ill people. In fact, the opposite, really. People like them are the exact type of person you will be treating once you get your degree. Mentally ill people like that entrust psych professionals with their wellbeing. If you cannot be decent to mentally ill people that you do not even know, you should not be treating their mental health.

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Adjusting expectations

Okay, guys. Wading in here where it’s possible no-one wants me, but … here goes. 

We - Kaylors - are in a hard place right now. People feel hurt, they feel hopeless. They feel like they were led on by the likes of Spade. I’m not here to invalidate any of the feelings that come from seeing Karlie and Taylor play out this charade.  

But I think we (collectively, as a fandom) need to take a breath and ask if any of this is really as bad or unfixable as we think it is. Because, for me, the recent stunting is hard to stomach but not truly surprising. On some level this is how I expected Karlie and Taylor to handle both the birth of the baby and the launch of the rerecorded albums. As much I wanted to believe in the idea of spring breaking loose and bringing with it a fervent revolution … I could see the pieces still in play on the board and I doubted it was coming. 

I think the problem is that there was a split between the optimist and pragmatist sides of the fandom, over the last year or so. To be clear - I’m not judging the optimist side of the fandom. Not at all. Taylor has pulled wildcard moves before, and emotions run so high in all this, especially with a baby involved now, that I don’t blame people for wanting to believe the best. But it reached a stage where some of the things people were trying to talk themselves into were just wildly unrealistic. And when that happens, of course you’re going to get hurt. It’s inevitable. 

But let’s really look at this for a second. We should have known that neither Karlie nor Taylor was going to be shaving her beard in March. Ditching Jerk right after or just before the birth would have been too soon for Karlie. It’s not unusual for a celeb marriage to fizzle out within a year of the birth, but before the baby even arrives? That would be weird, and would draw attention just when it seems Kaylor don’t want it. They just had a baby. That’s an adjustment in itself, and Karlie is suffering enough social media hate on top of that. I wouldn’t blame her for just wanting to take a break and lie low during this difficult time. And unfortunately, for Karlie, that means maintaining the status quo of the situation she put herself in with Jerk. She may be doing the bare minimum to maintain it, but if she wants to avoid attention, she has to make it seem like everything between her and her “husband” is normal. And that she’s trying to make it work, which I believe will be important later. Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships. 

Toe wasn’t going anywhere either. Taylor had relied on him so heavily during the promotion of Folklore, with the William Bowery narrative, that she was almost backed into a corner. She had to give some allusion to his air quotes “creative input” and their so-called happy relationship, or her failure to do so would have become the story and overshadowed her night. The headlines would have either been break-up speculation or complaints that she didn’t give him his due. We think the cutesy coverage after she named him in her acceptance speech was bad, but negative headlines have a far longer shelf life and can take on a life of their own. They would have been worse. Whatever we might think of Taylor’s actions, Folklore is one of her best albums and she deserved to have her night. 

So, on to the announcement of the birth. This is a tricky one, and again, I completely understand why people reacted so badly against it. It was everything we as a fandom said we didn’t want. It was Jerk using the baby for personal good PR. But I have to be honest here. I always thought we were kidding ourselves believing he would NEVER be seen with the baby or implied to be the father. I do believe Karlie is doing her damnedest to minimize the digital footprint of his involvement and keep her actual baby out of it. But he was always going to get to bask in the glow of playing daddy for a while. It’s the trade off Kaylor made when they used him to shore up their closet. 

This is also why I increasingly suspect the timing of the announcement got the green light from Kaylor too. If Jerk was always going to be assumed to be the father of Karlie’s baby, then there was always going to have to be a birth announcement that incorporated him somehow - unless the girls were ready to answer awkward questions, and it doesn’t seem like we’re there yet. So the best way to minimize the damage is to have his moment of glory overshadowed by a bigger win for Taylor. It worked pretty well actually. Even on Kaylor blogs the stunt was mostly buried by Taylor content.

I know a lot of fans feel gaslit by all the hints, but I do think there’s a possibility Taylor really didn’t grasp how hurt Kaylors would be. From her perspective, she “fed” fans three times over that night. She gave us a beautiful performance, a gorgeous red carpet moment, and a win to celebrate. I think it’s possible she really didn’t realize the double whammy of stunting that night would make it all feel worthless for many.

Taylor is in an awkward position. As a consequence of Kaylor retreating into the closet, the support base for them has shrunk. (When I use the words “Kaylor fandom”, I refer to this support base.) I would say Kaylor fandom consists of two parts. There is a silent portion, who observe events and comment anonymously, but don’t say anything “on main”. And then there are the small corps of true believers, who think Karlie and Taylor are still together and the baby is theirs. This latter group do most of the actual talking about Kaylor, but they tend to be pretty battle-hardened. They’ve been around for years, they never believe any of the stunts and their capacity to be hurt by them is, as a result, pretty limited. These Kaylors criticize sometimes, but they tend to fall back in line eventually and mostly adopt a “let’s wait and see how this all shakes out” approach. The problem is that I would say these “chilled” Kaylors are the minority. For their own sanity they curate their blog experience and often don’t post the more negative anons they get. Which is fine, but if you were looking at it from the outside, I could see how it might create an impression that the fandom as a whole can roll with the punches. And for a lot of the silent majority, that’s not the case. 

But again, I can see how Taylor might not necessarily know that. She went quiet after the Grammys, when I might have expected more celebratory posts from her. If I had to guess, I’d say she didn’t expect the backlash. I’m especially noticing a backlash against her for allowing Karlie to take so many hits while her own reputation has never been better. And I can’t defend her on that one, except to say I hope she has a plan. But I understand where people are coming from when they say the songs aren’t enough and actions speak louder than words. It’s tough to watch. 

Still, we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming. We should have known Jerk wasn’t going to be out of the picture immediately after the birth. This is one of those things nobody likes, but maybe we all just have to be patient on. I don’t see Karlie busting out of the closet to admit her marriage was a fake, or testifying to the FBI. I think she’ll just let her marriage quietly fall apart, as many real marriages did during the pandemic. And for that to work, she needs to make it look like didn’t throw away a family unit lightly. Hence the “I tried” post, the social media break, and the suggestions of spending time with Jerk’s family. All of this can be spun later into a narrative of Karlie having tried to make it work, only to never really be accepted. The hate online affected her mental health and she gradually realized how unhappy she’d become and decided she needed to break free and find her old self again for her baby’s sake. This is the most likely narrative for Karlie’s freedom and it’s one that could work - but it’s going to take time to unfold. Personally, I’m giving it a year. If we don’t see a separation by then, and definitive moves to a reunited Kaylor, I’ll be bowing out. I’ll still know what I believe the truth to be, but I won’t see the need to devote my energy to defending it. ,

Meanwhile, the masters rerecords are about to be released, and Taylor has invested a lot in their success. Because of this, I can’t envision her coming out until at least the big three (Fearless, 1989, and Red) have dropped. She might drop hints, but I don’t expect anything earth-shattering. Even the order of the album releases seems to confirm this. She’s breaking out the big guns first. 

I’ve seen people speculate that because Rep can’t be rerecorded until 2022, Taylor will hold off on any coming out until then. And I’m not so sure of that. Yes, people listening to the album for clues would give Scott and Scooter money, but if we’re being honest, a fair amount of people are probably listening to those albums already, regardless of the drama. Those sleazeballs are profiting from Rep, full stop. But if Taylor profits more, from her bigger albums, she still wins. And she can still put out a Taylor’s version of Rep with vault tracks and collabs, to seduce people away from the Big Machine version in early 2022. Honestly, I think there’s a good chance Taylor would consider this is a worthwhile trade-off anyway, if it meant she got to live a more open life with Karlie - and most crucially, begin to repair Karlie’s reputation. As children get older and the world begins to leave the pandemic behind, it becomes harder to live behind closed doors. I guess we’ll find out how Taylor finds the reality of such a life, and what she considers worth sacrificing to step away from it. 

All this to say: I can’t predict the future more than anyone else, but I don’t think the situation we’re in now is irreparable, and if we’re being really objective, I don’t think it’s even surprising. I do think Taylor should give us something, if she wants to keep us around. No-one can live on a complete absence of hope, and as I’ve stated, letting the fandom dwindle to this extent has its own dangers. But I think we also need to keep our time frames realistic, even if it means rejecting lifelines like the Spade riddles. We shouldn’t expect Karlie to be free of Jerk for around a year, and we shouldn’t expect Taylor to do anything much beyond general music promo until at least the big three have dropped. Sucks to say it, I know. But at least this way we won’t be disappointed, and if Kaylor do pull a wild card and move towards freedom, we can be pleasantly surprised. 

Just my two cents. 

___________________

Well written and fair arguments on our reactions and expectations. I had typed up more, but I will let others post their comments before I chime in.

[connordavidscamera]

Extra Shot | Connor Brashier

A/n: My precious Rina @goldenflickerx has been attacking me with CONcepts again and I decided that it was time to write one that we’ve talked about. Also, it’s Connor’s birthday, so what better way to kick that off?

Summary: You come into the same cafe at the same time, three times a week and Connor (your barista) has taken a liking to you.

Warnings: fluff, humor

Word count: 2.1k

***

“Hey, wasn’t your shift supposed to end like ten minutes ago?” My coworker, and unfortunate best friend, Sam asks. 

I check the time on the clock again. She was supposed to be here by now, but I guess there’s a lot of traffic. At least, that’s what I’ve heard like six customers complaining about this afternoon. I don’t want to leave until I see her. It’s the best part of my day and if I could just hold off for - 

The bell above the door rings and there she is. I push Sam out of the way and stand at the register to greet her with a bright smile. “Hi, y/n.”

She smiles back at me, and I swear my heart stops when she does. “Hi, Connor,” she says back and oh wow, my name sounds like heaven slipping off her tongue with ease.

“What can I get you today? Vanilla latte, right?” I ask, even though I know her order by heart. “Or are we looking to branch out a little this time?”

She sucks in a breath and looks at the menu, chewing on her bottom lip. “Hmm… I don’t think today will be a something new day. Maybe next time though. Next time you can get me your favorite drink. How about that?”

I nod, grabbing a cup and writing her order on the side. “I think I can’t wait for that.” I tap on the screen, “So that comes out to $4.36.”

She already has her card out, she always does, and inserts it in the chip reader. I watch her perfectly manicured nails tap the counter as she waits. She always has her nails done. Not in those long acrylics that most girls come in with, although I have seen her come in with those a couple times too. But they’re always done, I’ve noticed. “So, how’s your day going today? Busy?”

I shake my head, “Not too bad. It’s been pretty steady. You’re actually my last customer of the day. My shift ends in five minutes.”

“Oh, well lucky me,” she teases, but I know she means it and I have to look away so she can’t tell that I’m blushing.

The machine prompts her to take out her card, and at the same time we go, “No receipt.”

She smiles softly at me and gives me a single nod. “I’ll have your drink right out for you.”

“Thank you, Connor. You’re an angel.”

Now I really can’t fight the blush.

I take extra care making her latte. I’m the only one who makes it. Not because she requests me, but because I won’t let anyone else touch it. She’s my customer and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that.

“Here you go, y/n. Iced vanilla latte. I added an extra shot. Looked like you needed it.”

She smiles brightly at me, “An angel, Connor. I mean it. Thank you.”

I nod, “Of course. I’ll see you next week?”

“Same time,” she nods. “Yes. Have a good weekend.”

“You too,” I say as she turns to leave.

The door barely closes behind her before Sam is right behind me. “You’re drooling,” he says in my ear, causing me to jump.

“What? No, I’m not. Shut up.”

“Bro, you’ve been caught up on that girl since the day she started coming in. Just ask her out already.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, no? So you didn’t just push me out of the way so you could take her order? And you haven’t done it every single time she’s come in since the beginning?”

“Nope,” I shrug, untying my apron.

“Your shift ended almost twenty minutes ago. You were waiting for her.”

“Drop it, Sam. You have no idea what you’re even talking about.”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Sure. I’ll leave it alone. But she does have you so fucked.”

I toss my apron at his head. “Fuck off! I’m gone,” I say, clocking out and grabbing my keys from my locker.

He laughs as I walk out of the building. I shake my head as I head to my car. Maybe he isn’t wrong. Okay, no. He isn’t wrong at all. I am completely and totally gone for her and I know next to nothing about her.

I do know this though. Tuesday, the first day she comes in during the week, she almost always gets an extra shot of espresso in her drink. And on Wednesday, she always gets a scone – if we have them, she prefers blueberry, but she’ll settle for any other kind if we’re out. (And when I’m in charge of ordering inventory, I make sure we have enough.) And Thursday is usually a surprise. She flip flops between what she gets on those days. I think she’s just worn out from school or work – I’m not sure which one, if either – at that point that she just comes in for a pick me up.

Little does she know that she’s my pick me up. Every day she comes in, I’m so excited to see her. The first time I saw her? I swear I saw my future walking through that door. She just looked so fucking pretty. And she was so sweet, and she smiled at me like she knew me, like she could see right through me. And not to be dramatic, but I’m pretty sure her smile could light up the night sky if the moon wasn’t out. Actually, it could probably compete with the moon and win. (But again, I’m not being dramatic.)

---

Tuesday is crazy busy. Finals week. It always get s like this, and honestly, I am running around the café like a chicken with my head cut off. People aren’t getting what they ordered, they’re complaining that we’re out of something. Others are complaining that we’re taking our sweet precious time as if their time doesn’t matter – or as if there aren’t fifteen other orders in front of them that we have to take care of before theirs. It’s absolute chaos and I’m so ready for this shift to be over so I can go home and pass the fuck out.

And I swear if one more person complains about the fact that we’re having to use paper straws, I’m going to lose it. I’m in the middle of filling the coffee maker with more grounds when the bell rings above the door and I swear I can feel my heart beating in my eyeballs (although that might be because I added three extra shots to my drink when I took my break).

“Connor,” Sam pats my shoulder. “You take this one.”

“What? No, why? I’m already doing-“

“Y/n’s here,” he says.

I quickly turn to the register and it’s like my whole mood has changed. “Oh, yeah. I got this one.” I set the water down on the counter and run my hand through my hair that’s no doubt a mess at this point. I hope she doesn’t notice. “Hi.”

She sends me a sympathetic smile and that’s how I know I must look as bad as I feel. “Hi, Connor. You doing okay?”

“Better now,” I say matter-of-factly. “I’m glad you’re here. Good to see a friendly face.”

She hums, “Not a lot of nice customers today.”

I chuckle, “Let’s just say drinks have been spilt, names have been called, and my two week notice has been typed up and it’s ready to be sent if one more person complains about us being out chocolate chip cookies.”

She laughs, “Oh no. I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head, “It’s okay. Helping you out has been the highlight of my day.”

“Oh? Well, I am flattered.”

“What am I getting you today?”

“Well, I think we discussed last time, you making me your favorite drink. So I can branch out.”

I nod and smile, grabbing a cup, “Yes. We did. I’ll have it ready for you in a minute.”

“How much?” She asks, ready to insert her card, but I shake my head.

“No charge. It’s on me today.”

“What? No, Connor. I can’t let you do that.”

“No, please. I got it. Especially because I don’t want you paying for something and then you don’t like it? No way. It’s on me.”

“But-“

“Y/n, I’m not taking your money. And if you argue with me, I will put in my two weeks’ notice right now.”

She gasps, “The audacity!”

I laugh, I can’t help it. “Your order will be right out,” I say smugly.

Reluctantly, she puts her card away and moves to the side of the counter to pick up her drink. I’m about to start swirling in the caramel when it all comes out in one big glob and then nothing at all. I groan and look to Sam, “Gotta get more caramel from the back. You good here for a minute?”

“Yeah, got it covered.”

It takes me five minutes to find the caramel because whoever put it away during the morning shift didn’t put it where it was supposed to go. And in these five minutes, I have heard the bell above the door ring six more times and I know Sam can’t handle this on his own. But I finally get it, and promise to rip the morning staff a new one next time I come in. I rush out the back and Sam is working the cash register again, and y/n is standing there at the counter patient as ever.

I breathe a sigh of relief because of course she’s there with a soft smile on her face. I return the sentiment when I catch her eye. Then I’m back to making her drink. Before I hand it to her, I draw a semi-terrifying smiley face on the side of the cup and hand it to her. “I hope you like it. And sorry about that wait. The morning staff is so gonna get it tomorrow.”

She laughs, and I melt. I want to hear that sound for the rest of my life. It’s the most beautiful sound in the world. “Don’t worry about the wait. I’ve got nowhere to be, so I don’t mind the wait. Or the company,” she smiles. “You’re working tomorrow?”

I nod, “Same time.”

“Okay, maybe if it’s not so busy, you can tell me about how it goes with the morning staff.”

I smile, “Yes, I will definitely do that.”

“Okay, well I will leave you to work. Sam looks like he’s about to pull his hair out.”

I look over at my friend who is attempting to make three drinks at a time, which in a rush like this, is only a recipe for disaster. “Yeah, I should help him. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

She hums, “Yes, you will. Have a good rest of your day, Connor.”

“You too, y/n.”

---

I plop down on my bed, completely exhausted. Besides the drive home, this was the first time I’ve been off my feet since I got to work. I check the time on the clock by my bed and groan. I was supposed to meet a couple of my friends for a drink tonight, but honestly, nothing sounds more unappealing than that right now. So, I shoot a text to Will and tell him I won’t be coming out tonight and then I slowly push myself off the bed.

A shower would be nice. You wouldn’t think being a barista would cause you to sweat so much, btu dear god, when we hit that afternoon rush, it feels like you’re running a marathon. And right now, I just need to get out of these clothes and into bed.

My shower takes longer than usual, not for any particular reason other than I just stood under the water for a good ten minutes before I even thought of grabbing any soap.

I come back into my bedroom to my phone dinging with a message. I assume it’s just Will calling me out for not wanting to go with them tonight, so I ignore it and go to my dresser to get some boxers and a pair of shorts. I’m wringing out the water in my hair (that desperately needs a cut, but I’m far too busy to get one right now) when I go to grab my phone as it dings again.

I have one message from Will, and one from an unknown number. I furrow my brows at that and click on it.

Unknown

Hey! Did your day end up getting better after I left?

That’s weird. I never get random texts like this.

Me

I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong number.

Unknown

Is this Connor?

M

… yeah

Unknown

It’s y/n. Sam gave me your number. Apparently you get mopey when I leave.

So… did it get better? Or were you mopey lol

***

I hope you enjoyed!! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

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[slythraco]

I love tour work sm! Please could you do a sfw alphabet for Tom?

Author’s note: yeees omg !!! I’ve been waiting for this one ! Turn in up ! 😂 (thank you for your compliment btw, means the world to me ❤️)

Masterlist 

_____________

A = Attraction (how do they show their attracted to you?)

Compliments, a lot of them, all the time. He wants you to feel like the most beautiful thing in the world and it started before you even started dating. He was just so pleased by your smile when he was complimenting you so he never stopped since then.

He also tease you a lot, but it’s never in a rude way, as a genuine funny men it’s really just in his nature to annoy the persons he likes so he always make a little fun of you before making himself apologise to you by complimenting you. It’s his way of having your intention.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/why not?)

It’s a big YES ! You actually talked about it really seriously and considered having a family in a close future. Partly because Tom is already 33 years old so he don’t want to wait to much but also just because he knows you would do an amazing mother at his side.

Not that he wants to put pressure on you but he does talks about it a lot and likes to give slight clues that he wants to make a baby with you really soon. It’s actually a matter of time before you start expanding the family.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Tom’s favorite activity with you is probably it, he could spend his life cuddling with you. Something he loves to do is laying on the couch, his head on your lap as you play with his hair while you’re watching tv. He easily fall asleep in this position which can’t help but making your heart melt every time.

He also loves to lay in bed with you while you read your favorite book. You’ll have you head on his chest and it will be his turn to play with your hair or caress your skin, never failing to give you goosebumps.

D = Dates (What are dates like with them?)

Really cheesy and romantic, one thing he loves to do is prepare surprise meal so you’ll get back from work and discover the whole house decorated in a romantic ambiance. Candles, roses, warm light and Tom in his best costume. Than you’ll share the meal he either spent the whole day making and almost burn the house at least 3 times or pay someone to do it, but it’s always delicious anyway.

One day he brought you to a fairground and you both went back in childhood for a night it was magical ! One of your best date with Tom.

E = Emotions (Do they express their emotions? If so, how?)

Yes ! Tom is a very emotional person and you’re the only one that even if he wanted to, couldn’t hide they’re feeling. He’s also a really authentic person so if he’s happy he will smile and laugh with you but if he’s sad he won’t be scared to cry if front of you because he feels safe enough around you.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love)

One day he was just looking at you while you were telling him about your day while cuddling on the couch like you both love to do, and it just hit him, he realised how he loves to just sit and look at your beautiful face. He could listen to your voice for the rest of his life.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Yes, he’s the most gentle person in the world. Every time he touches you it’s always super soft and loving. He loves to caress your skin and never falling to give you chills down your spine.

He’s also super gentle in his words, he always careful of what he says to not hurt you or say something you could take wrongly.

H = Hands (Do they hold hands? If so, how?)

Yes, all the time, but literally ALL THE TIME. He just need to feel you hand in yours, so outside when you’re walking together he takes you hand, when you’re sitting on the couch, he takes your hand, even in public when there’s paparazzi following you around he takes your hand to make sure everyone knows you’re his.

Btw, Interlacing your fingers together is a must for him.

I = Impression (What was their first impression of you?)

The first thing he noticed about you is your smile, you directly seems like a sympathetic person which he loved. So he had a really good impression of you.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

A little bit, like every relationship there’s always a bit of jealous when a guy compliment you a little too much but he genuinely trust you so you are not the person to make him jealous.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who intiated the first kiss?)

Kissing Tom is always soft, passionate and just full of love. Also, you do it all the time, it’s like he can’t get enough of your lips, he could kiss them for hours if he didn’t need to breath to survive.

He’s the one who kissed you first, he just couldn’t control himself anymore that night so he kissed you in a passionate and hungry kiss and let me tell you, it was the best kiss of your two lives.

L = Love language (What are their love languages?)

Affection, Tom gives you a lot of affection, he wants you to feel loved and appreciated. He likes to cover you with kisses all over your skin, or hug you for hours. He’ll never get enough of feel your body against his.

M = Mornings (Are they a morning person? What are they like in the morning?)

Definitely not a morning person, it takes him ages to wake up, you usually have to return in your room a few times for him to actually wake up. And when he’s up, he’s really grumpy and slow in his movement, it’s funny and cute to see and you love to annoy him in the mornings.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil you? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Yes ! Your smile, is the most precious thing to him and he just love to see it when he buys you something. But, Tom offer gifts pretty rarely, one occasion like your birthday, Valentine’s Day, any important day in your couple and maybe a few times between them. But when he offers something it’s always full of meaning !

Like, one time he bought you a shelf necklace because one day, when you were at the beach without him, you took a shelf and brought it back to offer it to him.

O = Open (Do they say everything about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or overtime?)

Tom is a really open person, very talkative so even before you two were dating he already like to talk about his life considering the fact that he had a pretty crazy one. But it’s was mostly about his work and anecdotes on set etc. When he started catching feeling for you he felt comfortable enough to talk to you about more personal things like his past relationships or the problems he struggled with in the past and he just got you two even more close.

P = Patience (Do they have patience? Are they angered easily?)

Tom is the most patient guy on earth, You often wonder how he puts up with you. He needs a lot to get angry at you or anyone else, this is something you’re really wanting to learn from him.

Q = Quaint (What’s their favorite non modern thing to do?)

Take Polaroid pictures, he has that old camera that he carries everywhere and he takes photos of every moment he feels like to picture. He stock his photos in a little hidden box, sometimes you two like to open it again and just remember memories you made together. The pictures are mostly you and willow or him with you.

Your favorite picture is one you took the first night you slept at his house, you can see the naked man being the goofy Tom he is by walking out of the shower with a “hat” made of bubble from the bath you took together. It was hilarious and you two always laugh when you see the images.

R = Remember (What’s their favorite moment in the relationship?)

The first time you told him: “I love you” ! You said it without even realising it, it truly came from your heart and it surprised the both of us but it was such a important moment for Tom that he will never forget it.

S = Security (How protective are they?)

Tom is really protective, he cares about your security a lot and always gets worried when you’re about to do something dangerous and he only calms down when you’re safe again.

T = Talking (what do they like to talk about?)

Everything and anything as long as it means talking to you but the two subject he could talk for hours are dogs and music. You can sit in front of him and just nod a couple time without even responding and he would go on a full conversation about the different breeds of dogs and how they are amazing. And honestly it’s super cute to look at him all excited and passionate about these two subjects.

U = Ugly (Whats a bad habit of theirs?)

Does Tom even have defaults ? Oh yeah, He loves to devalue himself, for absolutely no reason. This breaks your heart every time and always comfort him so that he can love himself more. He’s so perfect to you that sometimes you don’t understand why he’s so hard on himself.

V = Vaunt (Do they like to show you off?

Yes...all the time, the little smile on his face every time he present you as his girlfriend is just too adorable. Then he would talk to everyone about amazing you are and how lucky he is to have you in his life. He’s just proud of himself and proud of your union.

W = Whole (Do they feel incomplete without you?)

Tom is a different person without you. When he has to leave to a set for a movie he looks a little sad. He misses you every time you’re not together and always count the days before retrieving you.

X = Xylophone (What’s a song that reminds of your guy’s relationship?)

It will rain - Bruno Mars

Z = Zzz (Are they a heavy or a light sleeper ?)

Heavy sleeper for sure, like said before you have to shake him up a few times before he actually make up so yeah. He loud snores can testify it !

[nottodayjjk]

the realm ~ part i

summary: you wake up in a dark place, not knowing where you are and how you got there. and what keeps you wondering the most: who does the voice belong to that you’re hearing in your head?

pairing: jungkook x female reader.

word count: 1,121.

genre: mystery, fantasy, angst, so much angst.

warnings: a little anxiety, darkness.

future warnings: mentions of death, death, smut, anxiety, panic attacks.

banner credits: created with canva. image of jungkook from: https://www.deviantart.com/beapanda/gallery. (also got a little help from @nightowls388​, love you!)

notes from the author: wow, this is my first thing ever. never thought i’d  post anything i’ve written. thanks to everyone who has inspired and encouraged me to do this! this is also heavily inspired by the anime death parade and the series supernatural and will be split up in chapters (many, many to come). big thank you to my beta reader for beta reading it for me and giving me so many helpful tips!

> part ii

“Wake up.“

A soft voice entered the terrible, terrible nightmare you were trapped in, slowly waking you up from a deep, uneasy slumber. Your eyes fluttered open, eyelids feeling heavy, while your brain couldn’t hold the memory of the gruesome dream you were just having. The only thing left was an anxious feeling that made your stomach turn and your heart ache in pain.

A quiet sob escaped into the emptiness of the space around you, the emotions that flooded your mind and body just being too much for you to handle.

You were laying on the cold ground, a thick darkness surrounding you. A lone lamp in the distance was all that gave light in this lonely place. Where am I? was the first question that came to your uneased mind, not remembering a thing that had happened. You still knew who you were but not how you got here. What if you were still in a dream?

You slowly tried to sit up, supporting yourself on your arms that for some reason felt a little weak. Feeling your body for any injuries, which couldn’t be found, you noticed you were wearing all white, a long flowy dress covering your body. Even though you didn’t remember anything, you were pretty sure that this wasn’t yours.

An eerie feeling crept up your back, giving you goosebumps. The quietness didn’t help at all. Faintly remembering the gentle voice calling, you weren’t quite sure if it had been part of the dream or not. Your eyes searched the surroundings for any orientation, but not a thing nor person was to be seen, and the dim, white light of the lamp in the distance only illuminated the darkness. A dull headache had you closing your eyes for a second and massaging your scalp in circles trying to sooth it.

“I won’t do you harm.”

Suddenly, the soft voice rang again through your mind. It was real, nothing out of a dream. Eyes shooting open, you tried to make out the source, turning around in a frenzy.

Your eyes caught sight of a dark frame standing next to the lonely lamp. A hood was covering their face which made the whole situation even more creepy. You couldn’t move, too afraid of the unknown being.

“You don’t have to fear me.”

They were standing so far away from you, but the voice still echoed through your head like they were standing next to you. Even though they tried to comfort you, your heart rate sped up, nonetheless.

The situation was so surreal that it had you pinching the skin on your right arm, leaving little red marks where your fingers had tormented it in an attempt to wake you up from this bizarre dream. But unfortunately, nothing happened. ‘No, this can’t be real,’ you thought to yourself, not believing in anything that your eyes saw right now.

“I can explain everything to you, but first you must come over to me. We can only go there together.”

There? Where there? What were they talking about?

“I- I don’t understand,” you called out, trying to bridge the distance that was still between you. Your voice was unsteady, quavering as you spoke to the being. The eerie feeling wasn’t leaving you. But you knew that you didn’t really have a choice, that there was only one way to find out what was going on. And that was accompanying the hooded frame. Even though it was the scariest thing you had done in your life, ever.

“It is the right choice, dear. You will understand soon.”

It was just now coming to you that they could also apparently make out what was going on in your head. It didn’t help at all with the anxiousness you were feeling in your chest, but you had already made your choice.

You looked up again, noticing that the being was stretching out an inviting hand towards you, making even more clear what you had to do. Trying to push back your overwhelming fear, you slowly got up, propping yourself up on your arms. Your legs felt wobbly, like they hadn’t been used for a bit. But you got steadier with every step you took towards the lamp and hence to the being.

Being in reach of their hand, they gave you a quick, reassuring nod, while the hood was not moving an inch. You were very curious to see the face under it. But would it even be a face? Hopefully, you would find out soon. You hesitated for a second, looking suspiciously at the hand that was still stretched out towards you.

“I can only bring you there if you take my hand.”

You bit down on your lip in thought. It couldn’t be that bad. The thought of staying at this place alone was much more appalling to you than to go with them. And what could actually go wrong? If it were still a dream – you didn’t really believe that to be the case anymore though – nothing would happen to you. You would just wake up at some point. And, to admit it, you were also kind of curious to see what that so-called “there”-place would turn out to be.

“You can trust me.”

Receiving the encouragement, you finally put your hand into theirs. You were surprised to feel that it was in fact quite warm. Somehow you had expected it to be cold, but it felt comforting. You felt your heart rate going down in an instant, a serene calmness flooding your entire body, replacing the fear. What were they doing to you?

“We can’t go over there if you’re afraid of it. It would disrupt the journey. Something could go wrong,” they explained to you patiently. You nodded understandingly. “You taking my hand was the first step to trust me. So, I could give you the calmness that your body is now ready for.”

Even though you couldn’t see their eyes, you felt their gaze lingering on you, checking if you were alright.

“Are you ready?”

This last question felt like a faint whisper that was passing by your ear like a breath of the wind. You could already see the scenery changing around you, the lamp slowly beginning to fade. You were still a little anxious, but now full of trust. Nodding your head, you whispered back. “Yes, I am.”

The hooded being nodded, gesturing for you to stay close to them. They led you past the lamp, into the darkness. You couldn’t see anything major different at first. And then, suddenly, the scenery was changing in front of you, feeling like you’ve stepped over a barrier that shielded this place from the one behind the lamp.

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (26)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

When you're a journalist, you have to know a lot of things. The most important thing in this business is neutrality of course. Even if the temptation to give his opinion is strong, a journalist must remain neutral in all circumstances. He must then have good source and good contact. A good source is even essential to get a good scoop. And having good contact in the field makes it easier. But if there is one thing a journalist must have... It's cold-blooded.

And luckily for Wilhelm, Danny has A LOT of composure. Oh, how many times did he dream of sticking anything in his skull? how many times did he dream of burning, drowning, skinning, dismembering him and what else do I know? Far too much to remember. and every time he dreamed of it; Danny took an indescribable pleasure in it. he would have liked to spend his day with you, not to move from the bed, your little body so fragile in his arms ... Unfortunately, you both work, and if the prospect of going to the police station does not enchant him basically, seeing Wilhelm's face early in the morning, did not help either. And as if that wasn't enough, Wilhelm was in a bad mood. Has he been in a good mood at least once in his life? There's a good chance he won't.

Luckily, Mattew and Melina were there. They're the only ones, with you of course, that Danny will never kill. It's rare to be off the Ghostface hunting board. You can thank God for your luck. But that doesn't mean he won't get revenge in bed. And that you will not escape, you can be sure. Wilhelm was chatting "calmly" with his officers while our trio of journalists sat down working a little further away.

“That's bullshit! There must be a connection between this story and McKellan's murder! They are accused of fraud on a national scale and coincidentally one of the suspects dies! And as luck would have it, Horace Hoggins threatens him three f***ing days before the murder!” said Wilhelm shouting and striking the table.  

“Yes, but the modus operandi is too similar to Ghostface's. What if it was really him that he killed him? Or he hired him. But I can't see the "Ghost of Roseville" playing mercenaries.” Said one of the officers.  

“Hoggins has money. He could hire any mentally ill person to do the job. After all, we don't know who we actually see in this city. Sometimes the most honest citizen can be the greatest criminal.” replied another one.  

“And then reproduce the modus operandi of Ghostface is not very complicated if you have all the necessary equipment to leave no trace. And that, Hoggins can provide.” said the third one.  

Danny bit his lips inwardly about it. Copying his modus operandi? not complicated? No criminal even thinks about going that far! Even the bloodiest, or the craziest, would have made a mistake! Danny is the mixture of the two, and yet you never suspect him because he never left any trace, you idiots! But he has to hold back... it was his plan to get Hoggins charged. He must stick to it, and remain calm.,

“Well, he needs to relax a little, inspector... He's going to end up having a heart attack. But hey I can understand, he wants to bring justice to Roseville.” said Melina.  

“Yes, but in the meantime, the boss, he's very nice but he's not the one who has to face Wilhelm's nerve attacks... Why did it have to fall on us?” said Mattew, lying on the table.

“Simply because we published this article. Now we can't go back.” responds Danny by putting his glasses back on properly, while looking at his laptop. It was the one the boss gave him so he could store his work. He had a personal one but I do not draw you on what it contains ... You're smart enough to know that.

He looked at all the pictures he had taken in his job as a journalist and a big smile was on his face when he found something to incriminate Hoggins. It is true that he had spied on him at his home that day. And it's like a day or two before Hoggins threatened McKellan. It's perfect.

“Wilhelm. You should come and see this. Maybe I have something for you.” Said Danny.  

“If it's to waste my time Olsen I swear I'll put you in jail in the second that comes. Then it's better for you that your find advances the investigation.” respond Wilhelm annoyed before advancing towards Danny.

“Oh, I'm sure you'll like what I have in front of me. When the "scandal" broke out, my boss asked me to take pictures of Hoggins. Spy on him if you prefer. And I remember that a few days before he threatened McKellan... Mr. Hoggins was with someone at his house.”  

“... I should arrest you for violation of a private property Olsen... But these photos are important evidence. I would be curious to know what this man who was chatting with Hoggins that day will tell us... and given his face, this man is not a saint. it pisses me off to tell you that but... good job Olsen. Print me these photos so that we can add them to the evidence board.” Replied Wilhelm looking at the photo seriously before leaving the room to get some coffee.  

Danny smiled inwardly in front of Wilhelm's face. it's so good to see this bastard feel compelled to thank Danny for helping him. Even if, in truth, Danny was directing him on a false trail. But in the end, everyone will win, Danny even more. Once again, he will escape all suspicion. And his pleasure will be even greater, when he announces to Wilhelm that Hoggins had nothing to do with the story in the end. It's going to ruin his career and that's all he deserves. And then... he will begin his descent into hell. Which will end sooner or later on Ghostface’s knife. Danny does not yet know what he will do to Wilhelm, but he is sure of one thing; He'll love to slaughter him. It doesn't matter how.

Wilhelm returned a few minutes later with his coffee and the photos Danny had printed in the meantime. He put down his coffee to hang the pictures on the board. Then took his cup back to sip coffee.

“Ok. Thanks to Olsen, I'm pissed off to say it, we know Hoggins was talking to this man a day or two before the threats. Which means that long before he threatened him, he was carrying out his plan. We have to find this man and question him! search our entire police registry. His head tells me something.” said Wilhelm.  

“Yes Sir!” responds the three officers before leaving. Wilhelm, Danny, Mattew et Melina were now alone in the room.

“You still here? You don't have to do anything else?” replied Wilhelm, looking at the trio.  

“Always so kind, we just gave you a boost in your investigation, I point out, you could be nicer at least.” said Mattew.

“You may have helped me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sympathize with snoops. Olsen is already lucky that I don't arrest him to be entering on private property because he took the right pictures. So now you can go and do your snoops somewhere else! I'll call you when I have news. Get out of the way!”

“Ok, ok, we leave. See ya later, inspector.” said Melina before leaving the police station with Danny and Mattew. Once outside, she couldn't help but grumble. " What a dirty jerk. We help him move forward in the investigation and he treats us like that? Frankly next time, he's going to get fucked.”

“Forget it. We did our part, now it's up to them to do theirs. Anyway, he has to work with us until the end, so we're going to have to be patient. He will be happy to have solved this murder, and we will be free to avoid him... until Ghostface's next murder.” respond Danny calmly, even if in his mind, he wanted to slice Wilhelm's jugular.

“Yes, you're right. So, what do we do? Are we investigating on our side? Or are we going back to the paper?”

“Wilhelm doesn't have us at the right side, if we start snooping around a little too much in his investigation, you can be sure he's going to put us in the most disgusting cells in the prison.” Said Mattew worried.  

“Mattew's right, we'd better not pissed off the inspector. Even if I feel like he doesn't need much at the base to piss him off. He said he'll let us know when he gets information, let's trust him, for once. I'm going home for my part. I need to work quietly right now.” Said Danny.  

“Say instead, you want to see your sleeping beauty. How's she doing? It’s said that she recruits employees.” ask Melina.  

“Yeah. I don't know what it turned out for; I don't think she's made up her mind yet. And then with Ghostface hanging around... she feels a little insecure. We plan to live together in the same apartment. Well, I'm on my way. Say hello to the boss for me! See you later!”

Danny got into his van and greeted his colleagues one last time. Once far enough away, a crooked smile appeared on his face. What a beautiful bunch of fools they all make. It's so easy to fool them... It becomes comical by force. They don't need much to believe anything. But as long as it served his interests... it doesn't mind him more than that.  

He went home to work calmly as he had said. He still has articles to write. It's hard to be a journalist and a murderer at the same time, it's a very busy schedule, on both sides. He put down his glasses and rubbed his eyes to wake up a little. He then went to his office to admire his hunting board. A big smile was on his face, watching all those people who fell under his blade... And it wasn't over. He did not forget those he had killed in all the other cities... he wondered if he was still wanted there. And he was already thinking about his future victims. The ones he'll kill when he lives in another city. With you.

What to do tonight? go see you for the umpteenth time? certainly. He is tempted to go to see Wilhelm, to finally confront for the first time, Ghostface and the inspector who is stalking him. That would be great! That would be a huge provocation from him! but... you have to be clear-headed. Throwing yourself into the wolf's mouth after all this work... would be a pity to be captured or killed, so foolishly in addition.

“Don't worry Wilhelm... soon we will meet you and me... Ghostface and you should I say. I can't wait to see that day come, just to see your reaction. I'm sure it will be memorable. For now... I'm going to focus on my plan, to make you go crazy. And also... focus on my beautiful angel.” Danny said looking at your picture.  

He knew how to play on both charts. Scare you and reassure you about himself at once... He didn't want a coward, but he still had to keep control of you, and if he has to scare you from time to time to remind you who's in charge... then he will. That won't change the fact that Jed will have to disappear. After all... it's just a name. A ridiculous character he invented to disguise himself in people's eyes. Danny Johnson is real compared to Jed. And you will have to accept it, one way or another.

He moved to his computer to work on his articles, which he was to return soon. He couldn't help but think about your idea of recruiting employees for your coffee. He didn't really like the idea, especially if there's a man among your future employees. He might be tempted to seduce you without worrying about the consequences. Let him try once... and he'll lose his hand. Or the leg. Or the head. It depends on Ghostface's level of anger.

He's going to have to watch your employees very closely. At least when you choose them. At the moment that’s not the case. Danny got up for coffee and went back to the office, taking a sip to keep writing. Occasionally he paused, to stretch a little and move, eat and take a shower to have a clear mind. When he writes, nothing can stop him. If he doesn't take a break himself to feed himself or whatever, he'd spend the whole day at his computer, typing his articles. He could have been an author, but he did not have the faith to write books that, over time, would lose meaning and logic, because of the stress and pressure that would set in and grow.

The last glimmers of the sun disappeared on the horizon, leaving the dark but starry sky of the night. Danny typed the last words of his article, before backing it up and getting up to stretch. Once again, he had done a good job. If Carla were still here... he was sure that she would have scolded him for having worked so much without resting. She used to do it when they were together in high school...  she would have done so even today. And you would have done the same if you'd been there.

Danny reread the message you sent him during the day, so adorable that it made him smile, a sweet and sincere smile. He grabbed his Ghostface outfit before putting it on, looked in the mirror and smiled, before putting on the mask and leaving out by the window, like he does every night. You were brushing your teeth when Danny came into your house. He walked discreetly to the bathroom and looked at you from the door. You're so adorable in these pyjamas.

“You're brushing your teeth with a child toothpaste? How cute. Just like this outfit for that matter. Do you want me to make you a pretty braid like little girls?” He said, laughing when he saw you spit out the water you had in your mouth by surprise.

“Hahaha... I didn't know you had such a great sense of humor. Given what happened last time it's hard to guess...” You said ironically, pushing him away to get out of the bathroom.  

“Oh, but I'm a very funny person when I want to. Hawn, are you still mad at me for that? But in what sense? Because I almost did it without your consent... Or because you wanted to and I held back?” he replied, smiling when he saw your angry face. “You don't have to give me that face, sweetheart. I'm not here to do it again, I told you: I'm going to make you languish. If I'm here, it's because I heard you were recruiting employees... I'm disappointed, I'd think you'd call on me.”

“Like I'm going to ask a lunatic like you. I want to keep my coffee shop open, not shut it up for murder. I guess you're proud of yourself right now, everyone's talking about your achievement on McKellan. You must have enjoyed slaughtering him like that.”

“Obviously! You should have seen that; he was screaming like a chicken and no one could hear him because this fool puts the music to an almost inhuman volume... It was perfect. I confess that to make deer antlers with his legs and arms, it took me a lot of patience and concentration but... The result is only magnificent. the inspector had to vomit his guts...”

“You're making me sick. Unfortunately for you, I don't plan on being alone for very long.” you replied with a smirk.

“Oh! Are you going to live with your little nerd? How cute. I feel sorry for you, he's just working, working and still working. While I... Well, I'd be more available.” Said Danny with a smirk.

“I fully respect his life choice. And I understand that. I would do anything to make sure he could work while taking care of himself. After what he's been through... he deserves to be looked after.”  

“Everyone's been through something tragic, sweetheart. I'm one of them. And I'm going to make everyone pay for it. Until my last breath. And if someone hurts you... So there... I can't guarantee I'll leave him in one piece. I know that one day... You'll call on me for that. Everyone has a dark side to the bottom of their heart; it only takes one click to bring it out. Even the most beautiful angel can't escape it. I'm going to let you sleep... You've had a rough day. As for me, I still have work to do. Goodbye, sweetheart. Have a beautiful dream.

Danny sent you a kiss before disappearing out by the window like every night. He knows that one day you will ask him to kill someone who will hurt you. Or at least you'll make him understand. And on that day, he will be like a knight obeying his queen. Patience and composure are necessary.  

It’s only a matter of time.

***

(This little stay at my friend's home made me feel good! I was able to clear my mind a little and now I'm on the attack for the next chapters to come! Don't hesitate to ask me questions or other, I'll be there to answer you! In the meantime, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

[keruchan]

(Slight Angst Ahead) Haikyuu x Reader

NOTE: This story will be focusing more on Kuroo & Bokuto so Kenma won't be mentioned here ><

Y/N was someone with a lot of inner demons. Their past was traumatic - growing up alone after their parents had passed on after an accident at the tender age of 7, even their relatives were not sympathetic. These people tried to make gain power over Y/N and controlled whatever they did. Eventually, Y/N became frustrated and started to harden their heart, refusing to trust any others who entered their lives. That was till they met the two who changed her life for the better in high school. Bokuto Koutarou and Kuroo Tetsurou. The two of them were polar opposites - one who was always happy-go-lucky and cheerful, though sometimes (emo) when things don't go his way, the other who was witty and enjoyed teasing others. They taught Y/N to become stronger, to accept their past and move forward. Y/N too, started to become more happy and hopeful for the future.

For Y/N these two were a special existence. People they hoped who would stay in their lives forever. Falling in love with one of them was something that came naturally especially if you were with them more often. Kuroo was a person Y/N couldn't help but adore, one who worked relentlessly for his goals of winning nationals, how he was loyal to his friends and teammates. Even his teasing and comments were amusing to Y/N. The pair started to go out in their third year of high school, after Kuroo became captain of the Nekoma Volleyball Team.

However, life wasn't a bed of roses - Kuroo gave Y/N whatever support they needed to feel secure in their relationship. But Y/N wasn't used to being affectionate, and despite being lovers they never did what lovers do like holding hands or being alone with each other - in fact Bokuto was always with them! Kuroo was patient but even he had a breaking point. Why would someone who he was going out with never return any form of affection? He understood though, that Y/N just wasn't used to it. So he never pushed them and never asked for more, but deep down he was starting to feel insecure about whether he was good enough for them.

Days turned into months, it was April and Y/N's birthday was coming up. Kuroo knew how much she liked nature so he wanted to prepare a preserved flower (something like the image below - the resin flower from Vampire Knight).

He knew he couldn't do it alone, so he sought the help of a few classmates who were more experienced with making such creations. Even when Y/N asked how he was doing, Kuroo just replied that he was busy. Bokuto too, was kept in the dark. Apart from volleyball, Kuroo was spending more time with his classmates in order to prepare the perfect present for Y/N.

One day when Y/N walked past Kuroo's classroom, they noticed how he had been smiling brightly and laughing with them. "Did he ever laugh like that while he was with me...? I don't think I've seen him smile in a very long time..." Y/N shook such thoughts away. But the more they looked at Kuroo with others, the more convinced they became that Kuroo hadn't been happy with them.

"I must be the problem..."

"If Kuroo was not with me... he wouldn't be so burdened."

"I... don't deserve him"

These thoughts occupied Y/N's mind and they felt the only way to make up to Kuroo was to end their relationship.

Soon came the day Y/N dreaded. Their birthday, because that was the day they were going break up with Kuroo. The day felt terribly long, Y/N couldn't focus in class. All their thoughts were about how to talk to Kuroo, it's become awkward since they haven't spoken in a while.

After school, Kuroo swung by Y/N's classroom

"Hey babe! Shall we head home?"

Y/N nodded in slow motion. Kuroo looked at them worriedly, but decided not to ask until they were ready to share.

Their walk home was silent, no one had said a word. Once home, Y/N spoke up "Tetsu...I have to talk to you about something."

Kuroo picked up the hesitation in their tone. Whatever was going to be said was serious. He knew. And he had a bad feeling about it. The preserved flower he had hiding in his uniform's pocket started to feel heavy.

Y/N led Kuroo to their sofa and sat down, gesturing for him to do so. After Kuroo sat down, Y/N opened their mouth and started speaking

"We've been dating for a while haven't we"

Kuroo was stunned, this was the first Y/N had spoke about their relationship. He nodded.

"The thing is...I realized how much I've affected you." Y/N's eyes were starting to tear up

Kuroo stayed silent, how he wanted to stand up and wipe their tears away. But he knew, that he should let Y/N continue what they wanted to say.

"I...never gave you anything as your lover. Nor did I give you any form of security. In fact you were the one who gave me everything. And I... never reciprocated."

"No, please don't say that. I understand and I can wait." Kuroo stood up and grabbed a tissue before handing it to Y/N who wiped their tears. He wanted to keep a healthy distance so they would still feel comfortable.

"...I saw how happy you were with others. I haven't seen you smile in the time we've dated and I...just feel horrible. I don't deserve you and I know you deserve better. So... I think it's best for us to break up."

"I...no..." Kuroo was stunned. He didn't know how to respond.

"...Are you really breaking up with me?"

"For now... I... want to take some time to work on myself. Let me have the time to fully accept my past, my current self and my future. Till the day I can be confident that I can love you the way you loved me because that is just what you should have. "

This was the first Kuroo heard of Y/N's conviction. The first he had seen them being more positive without anyone's encouragement. While it hurt him, he understood what Y/N wanted.

".......I..... get it. Know that I'll wait for you."

"You know it's cool with me if you find someone else right?" Y/N chuckled. Their smile made Kuroo convinced that he made the right decision, to let Y/N go.

"Cheh, are my feelings for you that unmemorable?" He teased back to which Y/N shook their head vehemently. "But wait, I still have something to give you." Kuroo took out the flower from his pocket.

"Happy birthday Y/N. I hope you like this gift."

"Thank you Tetsu...Thank you so much." Y/N accepted the gift graciously.

"Hey Hey Hey! WHAT DID I MISSS?" An energetic voice echoed

Both Kuroo and Y/N jumped back in shock. "Bo... where did you come from?" Kuroo turned to his best friend

"Hello, the door was open you know." Bokuto pointed to the ajar door and shook his head in disbelief "This is why I cannot leave the two of you alone... Tsk tsk" (Imagine Bokuto reacting like Edgeworth pfft-)

Bokuto launched himself towards Y/N and Kuroo "Happy birthday boo!"

Y/N laughed, and so did Kuroo. "Thank you Kou!"

If you've made it till here, thanks so much! I hope you enjoyed my first story, keep reading if you're keen to know what happens <3

-Keru

Ending 1: The One

Time really does heal all wounds. Y/N had blossomed into a person no longer held back by their past. While Kuroo and them never got back together, Kuroo had found his soulmate. A beautiful woman named Alisa. She was always cheerful and supportive, someone who shone so brightly no matter what she did. A bundle of joy for everyone who knows her. Y/N was happy to see Kuroo with a grin on his face everytime the two were together.

Kuroo had found his happiness with Alisa. And so had Y/N.

With Bokuto, Y/N could wear their heart on their sleeve. He was always there to listen and support Y/N. More importantly, he taught Y/N how to love others unconditionally.

Ending 2: Forever and Always

After Y/N and Kuroo graduated from Nekoma, both of them headed to different universities. But they would still talk to each other frequently through FaceTime and met up at their favorite cafe to catch up. Bokuto had been busy with his career as a MSBY player, but he still stopped by whenever he could.

--Y/N and Kuroo met up at the entrance of the cafe--

"You look good." Kuroo smiled.

"Why thank you, you look good too. Is that the tie I got you last Christmas?"

"What can I say? It was a gift from my favorite person. I have to dress to impress, if you get what I mean." He winked

"Uh... Well..." Y/N's faced started to heat up.

"Haha, you're as red as always! Let's head inside. Our drinks aren't going to order themselves." Kuroo headed in with Y/N following behind.

The pair collected their drinks and headed over to the seats

"You know... how about we start over?"

"...What?" Y/N raised their hand to grab their drink but Kuroo reached out to intertwine his hand with theirs.

"About us. I said I would wait for you, remember?"

Y/N went silent and thought deeply about what Kuroo said.

"Well?" He tilts his head

"I... still don't feel like I'm know how to love. But..."

"But..." Kuroo leans forward

"If it's with you, Tetsu. I want to try."

Kuroo gives a grin.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that."

[peachy-inserts]

alright, here we go; long post coming up y’all

(sorry for any errors, or for too much repetition. i am incredibly tired today)

tdlr; bakugou is angry and deserves love and patience

the name thing is what bothers me the very most about fanon bakugou. he frequently calls people by insults, but even lately in canon has shown to use them less and less, and with people he personally knows, or someone who’s being a dick

and for someone who has so much trouble opening up and developing close relationships in the first place, why the hell would he ever choose to call an s/o by these names? it’s an abusive behavior to do that; i know it’s fictional but could you imagine if your boyfriend called you a ‘fucking dumbass’? ‘endearingly’ or not, i just don’t see how some people could characterize bakugou like that and find it appealing

about showing respect by using names, notice how he hardly calls midoriya anything other than ‘damn deku’, but has rarely slung dumbass or idiot into the mix. he also would never adress his teachers or idols by those things, even though we all know he’s got enough balls and anger to

granted, he doesn’t spare this courtesy with his friends, but speaking realistically i think i say bitch and whore more times a day when talking to my friends than i do their names. i think platonically, with the right context, bond, and tone you can certainly use names like this to show affection. but never to hurt them with

bakugou is definitely incredibly insecure, which of course we saw in the deku vs kacchan 2 fight when all might broke them up. he’s just a messed up kid with a warped perception of reality (which we’ll go more into on in the next part) a lot that goes into making bakugou the personality he is on fanon is this in the works, and yet it’s completely ignored and excused as an extremely confident dude who shows affection through violence and insults/threats. like, what? you can’t play that off as ‘haha he means well’ like no, no. any perosn with an inkling of sense knows you don’t act like that to people you care about

going off of him being insecure, you’d have to have to be forceful with him to get him to open up, as well as showing him a little bit of tlc because it’s not like literally anyone has ever offered that to him. deku has definitely tried to be close with him, but i don’t think he’s going as deep as he should and to no fault of his; his history with bakugou and bakugous feelings of inferiority prevent that from happening on his end. i don’t think bakugou would be able to be vulnerable to somebody unless they opened up to him first, and had written a reliable history with him. he’s someone who could stand to learn by example

still yet though, a lot of what i see with him on the other side of fanon (him not, y’know, basically being abusive) is that he’s a mellowed out fellow, doesn’t let things bother him, is super sweet. even without everything making him him the way that he is, that’s still his personality. even if he were to overcome all of his issues, that doesn’t mean his entire personality would change. he’s certainly aware of how he presents himself, and how people shy away from him, but as of currently where the anime left off (i’m not caught up on the manga) is okay with that. he focuses on his goals to distract himself from those matters weighing down on him but i think in the future as he had more time to bond with others he’d definitely try to make an effort to change, and from that point is where i tend to write him from. he can still be brash, confident, and teasing all while showing kindness to others, it’s just gonna take time

mitsuki is, if you ask me, the root of his problems. for real. mitsuki literally criticizes him for the way he handles being kidnapped, makes him feel guilty for it, treats him as if he should have been able to solve everything in his own, shouldn’t have been there in the first place if he was really strong enough, and reinforces this idea in him that a hero should be able to work completely alone. she gives him the idea that needing help or asking for help is weak and he should be ashamed for ‘inconveniecing’ everyone, despite him literally being her 15 year old son kidnapped by the most notorious and dangerous group of villains in the country

that’s not tough love, that is emotional abuse. mitsuki and bakugou’s relationship is more than them both simply being rough around the edges, she sets out to degrade him and knock him down every time he shows an ounce of confidence. it is extremely toxic, and caused him to develop this inferiority complex that we see (only to be amplified by the one person he could confidently assert himself over becoming the all powerful successor to his idol)

if she would have showed him a little bit of weakness, a little bit of the motherly love expected of her, i don’t think he’d be nearly as insecure as he is now. his flashy quirk would still play into his personality, what with adults fawning over him and saying he should be a hero (seen in the beginning of the series) but i think more than anything it would be a not so intense fear of failure. if he had his own mother backing him up, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad

mitsuki has lead him to believe that unless he’s the best and achieves his goal without any help whatsoever, that he should be disappointed, pitied, and seen as a loser

finally touching the lighter side of things, bakugou would be absolutely hilarious the first time he ever committed himself to a relationship. he’s genuinely never been interested in it, and the few crushes he’s had were completely ignored to fulfill his goals. so far we’ve established that he’s insecure, feels inferior, and has trouble expressing his emotions unless the right person caters to him patiently. there is absolutely NO way that he could go into a relationship confidently, he’d be completely flustered and nervous as hell. i think bakugou is definitely the type to play into cliche romance standards all while pretending he’s too cool to care, and it’s whimsical to say the least

all he cares about is being a hero, so unless someone willing to work with him slowly and show him kindness latches into him and cracks him open, i don’t see him starting a relationship in high school. he wouldn’t be concerned with those matters until he’s finally settled down into a routine work life, and even then wouldn’t be able to develop a good romantic relationship with someone he wasn’t already friends with

as for pda, his flashy show off style and embarrassed ‘never dated anyone and is terrified’ ordeal would clash and leave him wanting to be able to indulge in pda, but far too flustered to go through with it. he’ll hold hand with you, yeah, maybe leave a hand on your waist when you’re idle, but a kiss is taking it outside of his comfort zone. once he’s adapted and overcome these, he’s all over it though. so long as it doesn’t get gross, you know?

i think he would mimic his parents in one sense, that being banter. he’d argue with his s/o, but not in the aggressive manner you’d expect; more so, arguments are a way to exercise his mind and keep him entertained? so i think he’d need an s/o who can keep up with him and playfully bounce back and forth with him over useless things. he’d never take it to the point of anyone being hurt or actually angry, although there would be a couple times he’d lose his temper over something and start an ACTUAL argument that has the potential to escalate. after doing this once or twice though i think he’d work extensively on keeping his cool and having a peaceful albeit tense discussion

otherwise though, i don’t think he wants to be anything like them, and consciously works toward providing a relationship for his s/o much much different from theirs, once that’s open and nurturing

so sorry for the repeated thoughts and spelling mistakes, but those are my thoughts! feel free to add on anymore or elaborate on what’s here so far, and thank you for sending these in babe 😍

[coffeesuperhero]

fic: you can’t go home again

2900 words, somewhere on a continuum between Gen and pre-OT3, rating: Mature. Eliot-POV, set immediately after Low Low Price, but like, in the correct universe, where Low Low Price Job came before the Rundown Job instead of after. 

I wrote this because it bugs the heck out of me that afaik there’s no in-canon answer to why Eliot cut his hair, so I wrote 2900 words of post-Low Low Price blathering to explain it to myself...and actually addressed that in like one sentence, lol. I am who I am. 

It's an hour from the house that used to be Eliot's home back to Oklahoma City, or at least, it's an hour if you care about speed limits. On this particular occasion, Eliot makes it in a little more than half that. He spends the time he made up driving aimlessly around, looking at all the shit that's here now that wasn't here when he left. What his hometown lost, this place has found. He doesn't really know how to feel about that. Good? Bad? Vindicated? He left home behind the first time for a long list of reasons, but one at the top of the list was that he didn't see a future where he was, not for himself, not for anybody else, and what do you fucking know. He wasn't wrong.

Even so, maybe he could have called at least once in the last decade.  For all the good it would have done. At least he could say he tried. But he didn't, and now there's so much water under the bridge there's an ocean where there used to be a river.

There's a parking garage entrance on his right, one of the ones downtown connected to one of the big old hotels, and he pulls into it and just sits there for a bit. Looks at the empty space on the passenger seat where the six pack of beer was sitting. Looks at the signs on the wall of the garage directing him to the hotel's entrance. Thinks about staying the night. Thinks about how he's supposed to be back in Portland in a couple of days, because he asked that nice lady from the last job on a date, a real one, because he was suffering under some kind of delusion that he could be a normal guy instead of a miserable fucking bastard whose longest relationship to date is, ha, probably the one he doesn't actually have with Parker and Hardison.  

"Fuck," he says, staring at himself in the rearview mirror.

Whatever he decides to do tonight, he's pretty sure at this moment that all attempts at normalcy are a no-go, so he pulls out his phone, finds Tabitha's number, and cancels all of that bullshit with what he hopes is an appropriately apologetic note. He doesn't type You reminded me of home and that was nice but you know what, I tried and it turns out they're right, and you can't go home again, and trust me on this one, you're better off without me, because he may be miserable but he knows full well that misery doesn't actually love company, misery doesn't love anything, and he's not passing that on to a nice lady who's just trying to run her business and go about her day.

He hits send, and then he turns off his phone and leans against the headrest.

"Fuck," he says again. Now what?

He assesses the situation. Plays out his options. So, this fucking hurts, first of all. But that's fine. Eliot's no stranger to injuries. Getting them, fighting through them, healing up after. First rule of injuries: don't fucking lie to yourself about how bad it is. Well, the first rule is probably, get yourself the hell away from whoever did that shit to you, but the second one is definitely some variation on be honest about how much it sucks. And this shit may be an emotional fucking injury but that doesn't mean it doesn't fucking suck. Hell, it's his own goddamn dad, and that bridge isn't just burned, it's in little pieces floating downriver. It'll keep hurting tomorrow, regardless of what he does tonight. It'll probably hurt for a while.

How do you treat any of that? If this was just a broken bone or a concussion or some shit he'd know what to do, but he's kind of at a loss, right now. After all, the last time he went through this particular kind of injury the way he treated it was to fuck off and join the army, and none of that is an option anymore for any number of reasons.

He looks at the hotel sign again. What the fuck is he gonna do here tonight, anyway? He's close enough to Bricktown, which has really fucking taken off since he left here, so he could probably wander into some bar, pick somebody up, bring them back to a hotel room-- and then what? Fuck them and hope in the morning it doesn't sting as much?

Maybe it wouldn't be the worst way to spend an evening but it also just doesn't hit right, tonight. He's not good company right now. Doesn't want to fake being charming or happy or whatever for somebody for a night so he can feel just a little less miserable for a few hours before he leaves this place and never comes back. He came all the way out here for a real conversation that he's never really going to have, and now he has a very real ache in his chest from years and years of regret, and whatever he does after this he just wants it to be real, too, even if it's just wallowing in real misery for a while.

That does sound more like what Nate would do, though, and that isn't particularly interesting to him. He knows where that road goes and it's not anyplace he wants to be, because if it was Nate in this situation there's a good chance he'd crawl right into a bottle and never come out. And there's Sophie, who would paint on a convincing smile while she quietly bottled up all the pain and the hurt to use later for motivation, like it was some magic potion she could drink later to fuel a con, and who knows, maybe she could, but he doesn't think he can. And what would Hardison do? Eliot snorts. Like he even has to ask. Stay, definitely. Drive back down there right now and try again. And again, and again, patiently offering his heart to people whether they deserve it or not. That's Hardison all over. And Parker-- Parker would cut and run and you'd never know she'd been there.

Except no, that's not right. That's Eliot's play, or it used to be. Parker would never have come back in the first fucking place. Parker would have known better.

If he had known better, he'd still be in Portland, probably cooking the two of them dinner, because that's how he spends more evenings than he'd like to admit, lately. That, or re-planning the menu for the brewpub, because someone has to, and it looks like that someone has to be him, because if he leaves it up to Hardison the pizza will have anchovies and pineapple and the beer really will live up to Parker's promise of mouth crimes. They need him. And-- well-- okay, he needs them, too, probably. If he wants something real, they are definitely that. Sometimes they're just real weird, but even on their worst days hanging out with them is better than sitting here alone. They're his; he’s theirs. They're family. The only one he's got.

So he starts the truck and drives straight to the airport and asks the ticket agent if there's any way in hell he can get back to Portland tonight.

But there's nothing direct from here to Portland left going out today on any airline, and no matter how much he sweet talks the nice lady behind the counter, that ain't changing. She kinda reminds of his grandmother, which honestly is just not helping his emotional state, and is probably the reason why, when he opens his mouth to plead his case to this lady what comes out is, "I just really need to be with my family," instead of literally anything else.

"Bless your heart," she says, reaching across the counter to gently pat his hand, and fuck, isn't that just the worst thing she could've said. People from other places tend to assume that phrase only means one thing, but the actual truth is that it can mean anything from boy, are you a dumbass to I see your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone in this cold dark world and I don't rightly know how but trust me, it is going to be okay, and this is the latter one, for sure. And he has held up under torture, under hours and hours and days and days of physical pain, without cracking, but this sweet lady and her voice and her eyes that crinkle up like his grandma's and her bless your heart kindness are going to be the death of him, probably. He gives her a very watery smile in response, and she pats his hand again and says, "Let's find you a flight."

It takes four connections and an overnight flight to do it, but eventually, Eliot and his newfound best friend, Miss Roxanna, queen of the American check-in counter at the Will Rogers World Airport, work this shit out.

"Listen, honey," she says, as she hands him his tickets, "I don't know what you've got going on and I don't need to, but it's gonna be all right."

"Thank you, ma'am," he manages to say, and he's glad he has to run to make it through security and find his gate because he can't stand here and do this shit much longer without spilling his guts to a total stranger.

He doesn't sleep on the plane to L.A.. He does try, he just can't get there. Every time he closes his eyes he just sees his dad's stupid hardware store. So he stays awake. He even does the crossword, or most of it. He eats the plane snacks when the flight attendant comes around with the basket of slightly fancier shit that they serve in first-class. Maybe he flirts with her a little, but only out of habit. Mostly he just stares out the window and wonders what Parker and Hardison are doing right now and why he thought he needed to leave in the first place, and then he thinks about that last job and that old guy, Martin, and realizes that he was always going to try to go home again, so maybe he can at least stop beating himself up for that.

He cuts his hair in the bathroom of the American Airlines Admirals Club Lounge in terminal four of LAX at one in the goddamn morning, because he's tired and plane-sweaty and even though they have showers here his hair just won't stop sticking to his damn neck and he's got two more flights before he's back in Oregon and he's about over it. So he palms some scissors from the lady at the lounge desk when she's not looking, hits the bathroom, and hacks it all off. It ain't clean or neat and honestly he doesn't give a fuck. It suits his mood. And when he looks at his reflection and feels a little pang that it's gone, that's even better. What does it matter? It's just hair. He's not Samson; his hometown wasn't Delilah. He doesn't get his power from it or some bullshit like that.

Because airlines are bullshit, from L.A. he actually has to go all the way back to Dallas before he can get to Seattle and his last flight, but at least after all of that the flight from SeaTac to Portland is over almost before it starts, and he shuffles off the plane and out of the airport like a zombie coming back to life. Eliot never thought he could be so goddamn grateful for Portland, so different from the home he left behind and still carries around in his heart. Portland, with all its rain and tall cedars and the looming specter of Mount Hood in the distance, is nothing like the place he left, but god, he could almost fall to his knees at the sight of all of it now.

What he means to do, when he gets in his car, is go to his place and pass out for a few hours before he inevitably finds his way to the brewpub. The drive is so easy and there's so little traffic this early that he just sort of autopilots himself around, and he doesn't even register that he's not at his own place until he's putting in the alarm code on Parker and Hardison's apartment door, muscle memory piloting his fingers through the sequence when his tired brain can't be bothered with the recall. The code's keyed specifically to him, he knows, so if anyone up there is awake and cares to see it, they'll know he's here and probably go right back to sleep, because it is early the fuck o'clock and he knows it.

He's exhausted and he feels like he's been on twice as many planes as it took him to get here, but he walks in, closes the door quietly behind him, and tosses his keys on the table by the door where he always leaves them when he's here. And it's just right. This, right here, this specific place, is just where he needed to be. He sinks onto the couch in the living room, too tired to haul himself any further, to the spare room that stays spare, just in case. Just in case of Eliot. He knows that. They've never told him it's his space. They also never told him he couldn't leave his shit there. So he's got clothes in the closet and maybe a few other things besides, a little home away from home, for the nights when he's here too late or has an extra beer or just plain does not want to go home to an empty apartment when his heart is here.

He's trying to will himself to get up when he hears the door to their bedroom open, catches a few lines of whispered conversation, first Hardison, then Parker. There's noise in the kitchen-- the soft beeps of the coffee pot, the click-hiss of the gas stove, the sizzle of bacon-- and then there they both are, right beside him.

Nobody looks at him funny. Nobody even says a word. Hardison sets a steaming cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of him; Parker follows it up with a plate of toast and bacon and eggs. A few minutes later they curl up, one of them on either side of him, holding their own plates, and nobody tells him to eat or drink, they just leave him be. But that midnight meal in the American lounge was hours ago, now, and he should eat before he passes out, probably, so he reaches for his plate and digs in, grateful that someone around here who isn't him has apparently figured out that you can have something besides hot pockets or cereal for breakfast.

The silence is comforting for a while, until it isn't, with neither of them saying a damn word, and what are they waiting for, anyway? He's never here this early unless it's for a reason, even if the reason is just that there wasn't anyplace else he wanted to be.

"Don't you want to know what I'm doing here?" he asks finally, when it seems like they're just going to keep on waiting until he says something.

"Why would you need a reason to be here?" Parker asks, and Hardison just looks up from his phone and says, "Yeah man, you're home," and shrugs, like of course there's nowhere else he would be, and god, if he's home, then no, there really isn't anywhere else. It’s funny, because up until this moment, at least in his head, home has still been a tiny town two-thousand miles east of here, but that’s not right, not anymore, and now he knows it, for sure. Looks like the lady at the ticket counter was right after all. It was gonna be okay.  

"Yeah," he says, with a grateful smile. "Yeah, okay. I'm home."

He's so tired he can't even clock who moves first, maybe Hardison, maybe Parker, hell, maybe it was him or even all of them together, but the end result is, there are two sets of arms wrapped around him and two sleep-warm people pressed against his ribs on both sides. And it's been a long day and a long year and a long life, to be honest, and he may be tired but he's not alone and he's home, so he just lets them hold onto him for a while, and he holds on right back. Maybe you can't go home again, but you sure as hell can make a new one. This one, at least, he is going to do his goddamn best not to burn to the ground.

[unikornu]

🌹, 🍂, 💐, 🌺, 💫, ☄️ for Lucy? 🍁, 🌸, 💦 for Harrison?

Thank you kindly for the asks! Let’s go:

Lucy: 

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Home for Lucy is whenever she is sure no one from the fair distance and within same walls wants to stab her in her sleep. Nuka World under Harrison protection will be the most home-ish and safe place since also after the disciples wiping she did prove her worth and loyalty to the raider’s goals and now they no longer need to sleep with one eye open with Gage since Harrison is patrolling and staying up all nights and gang leaders might not have such a strong urge to betray her. Later eventually she will set up base back in Sanctuary in her mother’s home since they will need second solid base in Commonwealth and somewhere deep in the woods still lies a pre-war secret lab section  that will be important for Harrison in order to understand the experiment and maintain his power as well as his body. A place where she can put down her guard, where she can sense presence of her boss and be sure Gage is also nearby will always be worth calling home but there are few places like this since later on her reputation will be more knowledgeable to wasteland folks and she will be on wanted list of sort. 

So yeah what can i say...away from Nuka World home announcement for them would sound like so:  A small blond lady along with a raider thug and tall grumpy old man looking for a warm cave to duck in without worry of being pitchforked by angry local settlers and half of the commonwealth. Ain’t many places they can call home, poor fuckers. 

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with receiving affection from others?

Oh she secretly loves hugs and affection of any kind but keeps in mind its better to leave them for very few and private moments. Besides how the hell that would make her look in society she is stuck with. Harrison and type of her job forced her to strip her mind from emotions as they were useless and making her weak but once the events calmed down they do come at peace and leave that part behind. With friends in public like Lizzie she will bump against their shoulder with a smile or chuckle, its safe in public and still reflects that she feels good in their company. With Harrison she will just bury herself in deep fatherly hug when gone for a few days, especially he is very tall and big so its like hugging a yao guai just in a brown thick coat. And because she never had a good father experience that hug will mean a world to them. With Gage she knows he has a hard time to be soft fucker but as the time goes on, the affection switches from small things, like checking his patch out and forcing to help taking care of his wounds too, not just hers, into letting down the bitch tough face and raider stiff attitude. Inviting him for the drink, just two of them, closing the distance and ending up just resting against his chest or sleeping hugged to his back. If the urge is strong and rules can go fuck themselves she will just charge at him and let all that sweet stuffed in her chest love drown him. 

As for people who didn’t reach yet friend level any kind of touching contact which doesn’t involve knife is for her a way to show affection. Be it soft fist bump in their arm, fast shoulder shake or very split millisecond side hug. Hell, even if she smiles at them its already a good sign, and in a humane soft manner, not the smirky bitch one. If her resting bitch face goes away its already a fantastic sign and promising future she won’t stab them later on. 

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

If you tell her to do that when there is shiet to be done and there almost always is in her mind you will see a constant middle finger, raised from the bed and the moment you turn around or leave she will be gone, sneaking away to get at least her knife and try to leave outside. She was raised to fulfill mission, no matter what so a stupid cold or broken bone is suppose to nail her in place. Fuck no, she can’t right? She can’t be that weak even if pain sweats her eyes. Gage learns slowly her urges as with each park taken he sees her taking extreme solutions to many situations, not thinking about possible bad outcomes so when the really bad cold catches her or she got badly wounded again he will be the one yelling at her to stop that shit. Aside from usual care like shoving injections or closing wounds and occasional cooking he will be constantly ensuring her that she can close both eyes shut and get an actual restful sleep, that he is on the watch and nothing out there waits to kill her when she ain’t looking. World neither will fall apart in flames if she will be gone in dreams for few hours. With Harrison come back that part is becoming easier as the simple sharp look in his eyes of mixed care and threat is convincing enough to put that knife down and shove her ass back in bed. With Gage guarding the Fizztop and Harrison overlooking the rest of the town there is no way of sneaking out and in this case it would be a bit ungrateful since they both put so much effort for her. 

She is better at taking care of others than herself tho if these are in her social circle. She doesn’t need to force herself, it comes natural to her. She will switch in a second from a vicious bitch to a caring bitch. Trying even to overcome her lack of cooking skills to deliver something warm and edible to that person if need. If she can’t get that fucking soup perfect for shit she will threaten and kidnap a local masterchef of sort to make and teach her how to do it. She means well but...ya remember her empathy can have weird and extreme outcomes.

Lol imagining like someone being under her care when sick and they go to the bathroom and spot a chef cook in a kitchen chained to a fucking stove cooking some good shit and Lucy siting at the table reading a cooking recipe and pointing a pistol at them.          

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Normally she would drink or take calmex right away but she slowly tries to give up on that addiction as they do more harm than good. Having Gage or Harrison around will help to break that thought if she can either crawl up to Porter’s bed or wake him up to ensure that everything is real and alright or kindly ask Harrison to watch over her as he doesn’t need to sleep. Maybe he looks like a nightmare in a dark but its her nightmare she is familiar with.

If alone tho she will struggle, she hates to be alone for too long. If fear strikes her at battlefield she will try to cover her fear and damp it down with anger instead, psycho or fury could help and she isn’t addicted to it as to calmex so that’s one way out but stupid. If its just a nightmare in a middle of a night she won’t go immediately to sleep but walk around, talking to herself and convincing it was just a dream, grab a mannequin, do a silly dance with it, anything silly to relax a mind and take it off the stress and that nightmare. A shot of booze won’t hurt as long as it ends up on just one but it rarely does. Reassurance is her best ally in these beside she is too big of a girl for comforting items like an old plush puppet found in some certain treehouse back in Sancturary....right...riiiiight? ._.

💫What is your favorite fact about this character and why?

I think the simple fact that she is kind of evil oc and she knows about it. I don’t think there is many characters of this kind out there but i might be wrong. Since childhood i was trying to strike best - peaceful outcomes in games and so on but later on i started to sympathize with actual villains, be it games and stories. They can be full of surprises and complex in a interesting way, prove to be actually powerful allies as well and in general they talk to me more than a basic superman trying to strike for a world peace.  

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

Oh ye, ofc she deserves better, she wants hugs, friends, she is bad but she wants a warm treatment too from time to time, she still have emotions ;c  Me, the creator, Uni, i’m horrible to her. I burned her hands too, like noooooo you can’t just wear gloves all the time for no reason, lets do smth bout it that will fit with all that dedication ya willing to push yourself in a fight no matter the consequences. Get burned bitch. Anyway, i’m taking her off the calmex addiction, giving her Harrison back as a better man who wants to protect her and do braids on her hair and softening the stinky to a level of a warm wet piece of trash, maybe getting some actual friends on a way. The pages on a start were focus more on a action and game lore kind off and just parks themselves but now with last page i finally get to actually break down and slow the shit to get to more emotional level, at least i hope to get it that way. 

Now Harrison time:

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themselves? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favorite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Sadly he will be very lost at the start to find this kind of spot as he popped into the world from nowhere, just finally doing the separation from Lucy to a nearby old synth skeleton in a heat of a fight situation. Since the disciples base got a vacancy and cleaning it up feels too much of an effort for the rest of gangs he decided to make this place his comfort zone as its fairly close to Feit base but still separated behind walls, no windows to peek in for curious ones. He can’t sleep so he has a plenty of time to make it his corner. The only things he posses are his memories so he will just meditate there and surround himself with all the good moments from the past, adding the new ones to the collection, keeping his humanity on check and all the urges balanced. Also trying new tricks with his powers feels safe to do it there, the telekinetic ones especially since the place is spacey and there ain’t much to break. He doesn’t want to go too far away even if he needs a moment, he always has in the back of his head the need to be close when problems arise.

Personally on a side note i struggle to think of an explanation to the Nuka World leaders and overall people there as to how Lucy will explain to them...who the fuck he is and why he is there and where he came from and why give him a disciple base. Like...saying a truth to Gage is easier since they run together but the rest? She can’t even say he is her lost-found father since they don’t even look like family. 

🌸 What are some of their favorite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

There won’t too many as he just got off but some basic stuff i know for now:

- sweet snacks, whiskey and smokes as he still remembers these tastes from pre-war: just being softie for these small habits and diet sins

- being in charge, keeping order around due to his profession, even if times changes he still keeps the attitude and he just likes it

- training the newbie raiders, pointing out mistakes to Porter, advising Lucy on some combat moves and tips: it might feel like he is being proud, all knowing but he actually is hell of a experienced smart fighter, don’t get fooled by his age either, he just enjoys training people under him and see them improve  

- proving Porter wrong: oh boy they really don’t like each other at the start

- doing dem braids, he starts to have a soft spot for going father mode

- even if he isn’t fully human he takes care of his “shell”, perfectly shaving, keeping his shirts clean and smooth, overall he enjoys that “self care” routine even it it might feel silly in the wasteland and due to the fact who he is 

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

Probably killing his son. The experiment would get to him one way or another since he would get suspicious what kind of shady business is going on in police department and asking too many questions and stuffing nose in corners he shouldn’t would eventually lead anyway to his assassination and still giving his body for that experiment resulting in same outcome but the sudden trauma and speed of events is what pushed him out of there, taking control of himself and situation also resulting in his nature softening and toning down, knowing he doesn’t have much left and it can be lost at any moment. 

[its-captain-sir]

Meggo’s Fic Masterlist!

I figured it was time to put one of these together so, ta da! Here it is: my fic masterlist! Not all fics are available on all three platforms I use (sorry! I'm just really unorganized), but I'll work on getting my shit together soon and making sure all my fics are transferred over. XD

Anyways, my fics can be found here, on FF.net, or on AO3. If you don't see it link for one of those, then it's not there!

(all the ones that can be found on tumblr will be linked directly to the title)

LIST OF FICS

• Jaig Eye Jedi (FF.net/AO3)

(Multi-chapter fic, in progress, 4 chapters, highly AU)

CT-7567 is not an ordinary clone, turns out he has a thing called "the Force." Only one things to do with a clone who has the powers of a Jedi: train him.

~

• The Top Bunk (FF.net/AO3)

(One-shot, 1,646 words, lots of sad feels)

It's been four days since the mission at Lola Sayu and Fives has not been the same since they left. Now he has to deal with a new person assigned to the now empty bunk of his friend.

~

• Last in a Long Line of Soldiers (FF.net/AO3)

(One-shot, 1,517 words, some more sad feels)

Kix is found by pirates 50 years in the future, where his brothers are long dead, and he might soon be dead too. At least his mind decided to take pity on him and conjure up some hallucinations of his brothers... or are they?...

~

• A Record of Memories (FF.net/AO3)

(One-shot, 2,869 words, written through snapshots)

Leia is purchasing supplies for the Rebellion when she stumbles upon an old comm. One that just happened to belong to a certain clone named Fives.

~

• "Snip"pets of Celebration (AO3)

(One-shot, 2,072 words, very fluffy)

With everything going on, Ahsoka never realized she forgot about her birthday. The others, however, most certainly didn't.

~

• Domino's Day Off (AO3)

(One-shot, 2,518 words, giveaway fic)

It's Domino Squad's last day of leave on Coruscant, and they intend to make the most of it. Coruscant won't know what hit it!

~

• Brothers Reunited (AO3)

(One-shot, 1,876 words, giveaway fic)

Echo saved Fives in the warehouse on Coruscant and now they're on the run. He'll do anything to keep his brother safe.

~

• My Arch Nemesis (FF.net/AO3)

(One-shot, 1,865 words, 100% a crack fic)

Obi-wan Kenobi has made a lot of enemies over the years, but which one holds the title of his arch nemesis? His enemies would sure like to know! 

~

• Padmé's Day Off

(One-shot, 515 words, prompt list fic, fluff)

Padmé's relaxing in her apartment when her friend, Anakin, shows up. And he's definitely hiding something.

~

• A Jedi, a Droid, and a Set of Twins- What Could Go Wrong?

(One-shot, 2,128 words, prompt list fic, more fluff)

It's Anakin and Padmé's date night and Obi-wan has volunteered to watch the twins. Really, what could go wrong?

~

• Big Surprise (AO3)

(One-shot, 3,246 words, fluffy and angsty, part of my domestic AU)

The kids show up at Jango's unannounced one day. After getting them settled in, he has a sinking suspicion that things might soon be changing for their family.

~

• Summer Celebration (AO3)

(One-shot, 2,755 words, lots of typical sibling interaction, part of my domestic AU)

It's the 4th of July, which also happens to be Rex and Cody's birthday, and both are being celebrated with the ENTIRE Fett family. Let the fun times begin!

~

• Goodbye to Yesterday (AO3)

(One-shot, 1,056 words, giveaway fic)

Maul meets a man after being left on Coruscant by his master. He’s different, but... Maul thinks he likes him.

~

• The Voices in My Head (AO3)

(One-shot, 1,444 words, giveaway fic)

CC-2224 serves the Empire to the best of his ability. Cody remembers a time when he served with someone else.

~

• General Problems (AO3)

(One-shot, 2,283 words, giveaway fic)

Obi-wan Kenobi is not the... best patient in the world. But he might just have more problems than he’s been letting on.

~

• I'll Be There For You (AO3)

(One-shot, 538 words, part of my domestic au)

Cody's locked himself in their room after a bad breakup. Rex doesn't know how to help, but he's definitely going to try.

~

• I’ve Got You, Brother (AO3)

(One-shot, 1,024 words, giveaway fic)

Umbara was... a mess, to say the least. Nighttime in the 501st barracks aren’t a particularly fun time for anyone after that, but they do what they can to help each other through it.

~

• Getting Your Jedi Master To Relax 101 (AO3)

(One-shot, 945 words, giveaway fic)

Obi-wan actually has a day off. Anakin and Ahsoka want to make sure he’s not being an idiot about it and enjoys himself for once.

~

• A Perfect Snow Day is Hot Chocolate and a Heart-to-heart (AO3)

(One-shot, 1510 words, a little hurt/comfort, part of my domestic au)

Fives decides to make a little trip to Rex's apartment. Without a coat. While it's snowing. Rex is Not impressed, and also a little concerned about his brother's reason for coming.

~

• Hair Trouble (AO3)

(One-shot, 1170 words, some hurt/comfort, gift fic)

"Tup storms into the 'fresher area, purposely ignoring the shouts of the person behind him. He doesn't want to talk to Dogma. Not now. Not after this morning."

~

• Snow Much Fun (AO3)

(One-shot, 706 words, not quite crack but still kinda close, gift fic)

Domino squad is back at it again with their shenanigans, Rex is Very Tired, and honestly? Cody's not surprised by any of it.

~

• The Idiot Plot (AO3)

(One-shot, 731 words, chat fic, gift fic)

The command squad is Very Good at coming up with stupid plans. Maybe not as good at actually executing them....

~

• five times Fox got thrown out a window and the one time he did it himself (AO3)

(one-shot, 774 words, definitely crack, gift fic)

The title says it all. Fox gets thrown out a window more often than you'd think.

~

• Next To Me (AO3)

(one-shot, 596 words, giveaway fic)

Lazy mornings are rare during the war, but every once in while, Cody and his general manage to sneak one in. And Cody isn’t letting anyone or anything ruin this time they have alone. (That means you, Skywalker.)

~

• Have I Mentioned I Love You?

(one-shot, 1,159 words, OC content)

Splat and Dav have been together for a while now, and things have been going great. Still, Splat has some doubts about how far this new relationship of theirs can actually go...

~

Another thing I want to mention is some of my tags. Any of the fics listed above can be found under the tag #my writing, as well as a few other rambles I’ve written. The #messing with vader au holds a lot of stuff like that. The other two prominent tags are #jaig eye jedi and #domestic au, where you can find extra content for both of those respectively.

I'll update this as more fics are posted! :)

[cottontail20]

A Legend All Their Own, Chapter 41: Almost A King

Summary:  As the time to announce his engagement to Princess Wanda approaches, Vision has some concerns about what kind of King he will be. Wanda comforts him.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736589/chapters/44606374

A few days passed before Vision began to notice that the people of Sokovia's behavior towards him was slowly changing. It was subtle at first. There were still whispers when he passed by, but the whispers seemed much friendlier now.. some of them almost reverent.

They would smile when they saw him now. Real smiles, not the forced ones he sometimes used to get when delivering food to people. His possible future subjects would happily greet him, rather than trying to avoid him, or running away as soon as possible.

That morning, one young man had even bowed. Vision had looked around, expecting to find Wanda nearby, then remembered that she was off at another armor fitting, noticed that none of the Asgardian royals were around either, and finally realized, with no small amount of shock, that the young man was bowing to him, and that a few other Sokovians, after seeing the young man bow, were beginning to bow as well.

Vision's face burned bright red. He now completely understood why Wanda was so uncomfortable having people bow or kneel to her. However, unlike Wanda, Vision was raised the exact opposite of royal, and so had not spent his whole life being taught to adjust and react with grace and poise to this sort of thing. Vision opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a strangled squeak. His face reddened further, and unable to think of any better ideas, he simply ran away. --

Vision wasn't exactly sure where he was running to. But, as often seemed to happen nowadays, his feet instinctively carried him towards Wanda, almost crashing right into her as she exited the armorer's workshop.

"Whoa, easy there Vizh! I was just about to come find you.." Wanda grabbed his arms to steady herself, and him, frowning when she saw the slightly panicked look on his face. One hand reached up to gently stroke his cheek. "Hey.. Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"No.." Vision let out a breath, feeling himself almost instantly relax at her touch. "No, nothing is wrong."

"Are you sure? You look so worried.."

"I just.. have you said anything to the common folk? About our engagement? They.. they've been treating me differently.."

"Oh.." Wanda blushed. "Well, I might have asked the Avengers to spread a bit of nicer information about you, to help the people be more accepting when we make our announcement.. Shouldn't I have?"

"That was probably a good idea, actually. I just.. I feel.." Vision looked around, as if worried someone would hear him. If he was supposed to be a leader, he shouldn't be showing these sort of weaknesses. What sort of King would he be if he did?

"Come on.." Wanda tugged at his hand, leading him away through the Palace's maze of halls and corridors. "Let's go to our room, we can talk properly."

Despite his worries, Vision's heart was warmed. Wanda knew him so well.

They headed back to their room- it really felt like 'theirs' now, somehow- and sat on the edge of the bed together. Linking their fingers, Wanda patiently waited for Vision to tell her exactly what was wrong.

He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then opened it again, but the words wouldn't come. Vision knew Wanda would understand, yet for some reason, he still felt nervous. He heard Wanda sigh softly beside him, and when he turned to look at her, she kissed him, with so much love, her hands cupping his cheeks. Vision happily returned her kiss. It would be so easy to get completely lost in her, and he did so rather regularly, but knew he probably shouldn't right now. Wanda knew it too, gently breaking the kiss.

"You know you can tell me anything, right Vizh?" She whispered, gazing at him with her wide green eyes. "Anything at all. No judgement here."

"I know.." Vision sighed. "I just.. I'm not sure I'll be a very good King. I don't know how to be. I don't know how to rule people.. I wasn't born to be a King. Sometimes it feels like I wasn't born to be anything much at all. What if I'm really bad at being a King?"

"You won't be bad at it."

"But.."

"You won't. I know you" She shifted closer to him. "And you know, I wasn't born to be a Queen either. I was meant to stand around and look pretty, and smile and curtsy, until I eventually got shipped off to marry some Prince or Lord.. That's what my life was supposed to be before Pietro died, before I met you.."

"That doesn't seem fair.." Vision couldn't help but frown.

"It doesn't. But my point is, Vision, I don't know how to rule people anymore than you do. I wasn't taught any of that, because I was never meant to be Queen. Neither one of us was born to the Throne. But I think.. I think that might be what makes us good for it."

"You do?"

"I do" Wanda nodded. "We've both suffered.. In different ways, but we've both suffered. And we don't want that kind of suffering for anyone else.."

"Definitely not.."

"We don't really care too much for power, you and me.."

"We don't" Vision agreed.

"But we do want to make the world better" Wanda continued, "For everyone, for ourselves, and.." She trailed off for a moment, a faraway look in her eyes, fingers dancing over her stomach, then shook her head, coming back to herself. "For ourselves, and whoever comes after."

"That is all very true.." Vision still seemed a little nervous.

"You don't even really need to be a King. I said I wanted you to be my King, because.. that's just a title we give to someone ruling.." Wanda gazed into his eyes. "But I think.. I think what Sokovia really needs is a Vision."

"And a Scarlet Witch?" Vision chuckled.

"Maybe."

She kissed him again then, deeply, and this time, Vision let himself become lost, in more kisses, in gentle touches and soft skin, lost in warmth and pleasure and so much love, lost in her. Because when he came back from being lost, Wanda would smile at him like he was the most wonderful thing in the world, and he would smile right back. --

Vision might not be a King. Maybe he didn't have to be. When he was with Wanda, he was the very best Vision he could be.

Armour was made, hundreds of new weapons were forged. Soon, King Odin decided the time had come to reveal Ultron's declaration of War. Wanda and Vision, with tightly clasped hands, waited behind him, ready to make their own announcement afterwards.

"It is important we remember" Odin boomed, over the assembled crowd of both Asgardian and Sokovian people. "That we are not at war with Sokovia itself. The people of Sokovia have been, and remain, our staunch allies. Our fight is with the false King Ultron. The goal of Asgard in this war is to get the Princess Wanda her rightful place on the throne!"

A large cheer rose up from the crowd.

Vision turned to Wanda.

"They like you.."

"They'll like you too, Vizh."

"I hope so.."

"And now, the Princess has informed me that she has an announcement of her own.." Odin stepped aside.

Wanda squeezed Vision's hand, leading him with her to the edge of the balcony on which Odin had been speaking. He saw a few friendly faces in the crowd. The Avengers, Peter, Doctor Strange. Wanda cleared her throat.

"People of Sokovia, and Asgard.. The man standing beside me is Vision. The keeper of the Mind Stone, my Protector.. The man I love." A murmur from the crowd. "Some of you have treated him unfairly in the past.. That ends today. When the war is won, Vision and I plan to marry.. He will rule at my side."

Vision squeezed Wanda's hand, then took a breath and stepped forward, finally ready to speak for himself.

"I.. I was lowborn, like many of you" He began. "I wasn't born to be a King. I don't know if I'll be a good one. But I swear to you, I will do my very best. I want a better world, for us. All of us. And whoever comes after."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, a slow clap. A cheer that spread through the crowd, building to a roar.

Slowly, Vision felt himself smile. He turned to Wanda, beaming at him. Glowing, radiantly beautiful.

And with absolutely no more reason to hide, he kissed her.

Today, he almost felt like a King.

[thehappymessproject]

96-98/100 - Boundaries and the delicate art of disappointing people

For a very long time, I used to teach my patients how to assert their needs, set their boundaries and communicate their grievances and didn’t understand why that specific process seemed to be so hard to grasp for so many of them. 

I had to learn about smaller parts about the human mind and heart to finally get what was stopping them (and myself, to a certain extent) : our need to be (seen as) good and nice, for social approval was stronger than our self-love in those moments. 

By avoiding to disappoint people too much, we end up losing our sense of self and therefore boundaries.  

Here are a few steps to a healthier direction.

It all starts with our need to be loved.

Everybody wants to be loved

We all do. Not necessarily by everyone, but at least a couple of other humans. 

It is in our genetic code and ingrained all over our body to love and collaborate : humans are one of those species which need to socialise in order to survive. It’s written in our DNA that rejection is bad thing. 

But our modern culture got us all twisted thinking that means we always have to be nice. That’s not kind at all (for no one) : that’s performative kindness. 

The truth is : someone who is constantly nice with everyone builds up vicious feelings of resentment, passive agression and (self-)hate. We need to be kind when it really matters to us, not because we want to be seen as nice or not mean. 

And sometimes (often), the person we really need to be kind towards is ourselves. When we lack the self-compassion to get out of painful situations, or the self-kindness to be ready to make time and space for good things to us, we can’t really be that nice. We just don’t know how or what it is. 

Since we never experienced that kindness, we can’t give it to others. It needs to starts within to truly feel like ours. Our love for others is bound by the limits of our love to ourselves. 

That means that sometimes, we need to put ourselves first to be really kind. And sometimes, it will not be well received, especially by people that have benefitting of our lack of boundaries. 

Just because someone is really upset by the boundaries we want to set, it doesn’t mean that we did anything wrong by setting them. 

This here might be the single most important thing to learn first. When we we heal, we have to learn how to set boundaries. It will be messy to do so, and uncomfortable, and awkward, and imperfect, and sometimes even bloody (hopefully not literally). 

Some people will absolutely reacts badly. 

But here’s another key :

We are not responsible for others’ emotional states

Others’ reaction are THEIR reaction. Yes, we can influence the way they feel, and yes, we need to take them into account, but if we do it to our expense constantly, we will always be unhappy about our interactions. 

In order to be in authentic relationships, we need to face uncomfortable and painful feelings. We need to be willing to our goofy, clumsy, weird, awkward self. But that’s not all of it.

We need to accept that others will sometimes suffer from our behaviour and words. We all do terrible things to people we love, hopefully most of them are done unknowingly. 

We will disappoint people, wether we are super careful, or completely careless about it. People get disappointed when they have expectations that are unmet, and all of us do have expectations at some point or another. 

Just because you disappointed someone doesn’t mean you are responsible for the emotions that disappointment brought along. You are responsible for : your actions, your choices (not choosing and not doing anything is a choice), your words. 

It is never your job to make people change the way they feel, you don’t have that kind of power, no one does. 

Here are the three steps I share with patients about owning up to our mistakes.  “You have got 3 jobs when you do something bad if you care about what you did or the person you hurt” :  - acknowledging what we did and its consequences (without making excuses)  - apologizing (here is an essay about giving better apologies) - repairing what we can (if we can’t, making sure we don’t reiterate)

People getting upset after something we did is a consequence of our actions, one we are accountable for, and also one we can’t repair right away. When someone is hurt, what done is done. You can’t undo it. 

You have to let them digest what happened, assess how they feel about it and decide what they want to communicate about. Let them be. 

It is also their experience. We need to let them deal with that disappointment on their own terms, ideally after our apologies, definitely without us harassing them for their forgiveness in order to feel less guilty. Give them some space.

Most importantly : take care of your own guilt by yourself. Ask yourself what you learnt from this that can be useful in the future. What you want to avoid and/or repeat. What you could have done differently.  

Because, you know what?

We are not in control of their emotions either

Another key principle. Both concepts come from being ashamed, uncomfortable or fearful, and feeling the need to change the situation in order to change the feelings involved. 

When we are so ashamed that we try to change how others feel, we actually tend to make it worse. We will over do it, manipulate them, deny, not listen, be passively (or actively) agressive, lie, use cheap tricks, intellectualise... 

More importantly : we will disconnect from them. No relational issue can be resolved when there is a disconnect. Ever. 

If someone’s disappointment makes them react very intensely, understand that no rational conversation can take place. If the intensity is too great, we need to stop the interaction if we want to limit the damages. 

“I need a break, this is too intense for me right now. But I really want to work this out with you. Can we talk about it when we both feel calmer?” is one of the most compassionate and helpful things one can say when an interaction escalates to a level of high intensity. 

Also, don’t forget : others’ emotions tell us a lot about their experience, not about who we are. Not one of my patients or friends in the process of emotional growth didn’t have to disappoint quite a bunch of people on the journey, even if rarely on purpose. 

When our heart grows, our needs, wants and tolerance will always change. Our relationships will naturally change over time because of it, and if we are brave enough to voice our new wants and needs, others will absolutely react to this. 

When we set new boundaries in old relationships, it is absolutely normal, and even a good sign to upset people around us : we are disrupting the statu quo, the way it was. 

A lot of people don’t want things around them to change, it doesn’t feel safe, they don’t feel in control anymore. So when we change they will often make moves telling us to “change back!”. 

Those reactions don’t mean we shouldn’t have changed, they are just saying “I am uncomfortable with the way things change” and asking “Are you really serious about that?”. If we are serious, we need to show them that we are by asserting our ground and accepting the discomfort going with it. It is scary, but it is so worth it. 

Live and let live

So here we are. 

Basically most relational issues will have two sorts of roots “I’m not allowing myself to be and express who I am enough” or “I am trying desperately to control others, their feelings and/or the outcome and it doesn’t work”. 

Both are almost the same : when we allow ourselves to be who we really are and to voice our truth, we don’t feel the need to control or to judge. The more we focus on being our fuller self, the more we naturally let others be theirs in our relationships too (if they want to). 

Sometimes being ourselves is accepting we don’t enjoy people around us anymore, and we need to decide if we want to engage less in those relationships, experimenting with other ways of interacting, or just end them. 

Sometimes, it’s more about accepting we don’t have the power to change things besides the little things actually in our control, like how we react to what we feel, the words we choose to use or what we prioritize in a crisis. 

It is going to be a bigger shift to navigate if we tend to blame others for what we feel. If we are a pursuer (see this essay to see the different kinds of ways of dealing with stress in a relationship), it is going to feel so much like we have to resolve that problem in this relationship to go on with our life. 

My advice : stop yourself at any sign of emergency in your relationships. A feeling of emergency is so often about our coping mechanisms and not actual danger. Except if there’s an immediate physical danger of one of the parties involved, nothing is that urgent. 

I used to find an issue in one of my important relationships anytime I would feel in intense distress. Like many of us, I would take all my energy to “think” (read : ruminate) about it and by doing so avoiding what I really wanted to do... 

And kept procrastinating everything that really mattered to me because it would took so much of my time and energy.

When I started to instead shift from “OMG this relationship is too painful I need to resolve this now” to “Ah, this old feeling of feeling abandoned and lonely. How can I take better care of myself right now?”, something magical happened. I became freer and freer, and could finally step out of the drama step by step.

Sometimes my coping mechanisms would bring me to feel like this about several relationships at the time, which felt like an even bigger and more urgent issue. Then, focusing on myself would be even more fulfilling. 

I taught myself and many others this precious statement “This is your time and energy. You feel down, so it is your job to use them for you rather than for others right now. If it’s still an issue when you feel better, then you know it’s a real issue and not a just defensive reaction”. 

It’s harder to repeat it to ourselves when really stressed out, but again, each time we do, we feel stronger, freer and more grounded (rather than more bitter, helpless and frustrated). Those 3 emotions are the first signs of our heart getting bigger and stronger. Even if we also also feel lonely and scared, as anyone willing to stretch out of their comfort zone will tend to. 

So go ahead, go disappoint people for the right reasons for once : you’ll feel less and less disappointed in yourself :) 

Speak soon,  Love,  L. 

[shyeehaw]

Van der Linde Gang in College

Choice of degrees HCs

Dutch: Politics degree. He has the charisma and is well spoken. I would vote for Dutch! He’s dynamic and would succeed in the versatile politic setting, also many times he used his voice to motivate others. Although we don’t know if he would follow his Robin Hood days or will weight more to the outlaw side. Let’s just hope this time his plans actually work, for the greater good.

Hosea: he strikes me as a dedicated person to his studies. Calm and precise he would be a good architect. A visceral job like this would give Hosea a sense of fulfillment, his projects would actually impact in the life of many others.

Arthur: He would be one of those students that even when it’s midway through his course would doubt if that’s really what he wanted. I can see Arthur being torn between veterinary medicine or a design degree. At the same time he is excited to learn all about different species, he fears that his connection to animals might not be enough for him. Albert Mason would be his classmate in some classes, and so would Kieran. With a design degree he would feel more fulfilled as he would be able to create not only for him , but to the other’s benefits as well.

John: He lived a tough life and grew up on the streets, John knew exactly how the bad side was and he never wanted to get back at doing those things. When time came, he didn’t wanted to spend years of his life with his nose on a book, he found pointless to just memorize things that other people already knew. He wanted to actually do something meaningful. He got a spot at the police’s academy. Training for years in the hope of someday avoiding young kids fall in that kind of life he had before.

Abigail: She convinced John to live a decent life didn’t she? He woke up early every day to mend fences until his back was about to snap in two. Highly persuasive with her sweet words, she would do just fine with a marketing degree. Abigail has the right proactive attitude that this profession needs.

Bill: People never let him forget how bad he is with words. But he is actually pretty smart with numbers. What a waste would he be locked away in a room doing just that. Bill would prosper with a agriculture degree, with which he would be able both to work in the field using his strength, getting his hands dirty and using his natural aptitude for mathematics.

Javier: Fashion degree! Javier is very versatile and just like Arthur he second guessed his choice. He ended up picking a history degree in mexican culture, a way he founded to keep the love for his homeland always burning. He would be an active member of the political debates groups and be responsible for organizing collective acts to help improve life in Mexico countryside. He is a very engaged student. In his spare time, he will attend to music workshops.

Micah: In which field almost anything is valid? Where the competition is always ferocious? What’s the modern translation of a merciless lifestyle? Micah would have a degree in business and management. A title he got from his father, Micah was a prospect to inherit a big company built on blood and secrets. What could suit him better than being able to be rude to everyone “under” him without any consequences? He never cared for it before, and his not going to start now when his about to be CEO.

Lenny: This sweet boy wants a job that will allow him to help people but without having their lives at his hands. Lenny is hard-working and focused, so he would end up getting an English degree, in hopes to someday become a teacher. He is patient, kind and funny. The type of teacher he wish he had when going through college.

Charles: He is a deep and compassionate person, and I can see him choosing an physiotherapy degree. At first he thought about a psychology one, but being and introvert and sometimes finding being around new people too draining, he choose the next good thing to help others. He’s strength helps him lift his patients and aid them to do their exercises. It’s a long process that he finds so rewarding when it’s done. Being able to notice other’s improvement makes him genuinely happy.

Sean: All right, he will admit that he just needed to enter in a course, any course really. All his energy made a lot of degrees impossible, even game design, one of his options, required a level of attention he didn’t had. For some weeks, he even enrolled in a P.E course but the brodudes had their own little posse, and didn’t liked Sean, making fun of his jokes and skinny body. He found himself in the audiovisual communication course. Initially it was all a part of his plan to take over YouTube with his gaming videos, but slowly he started getting interested in experimental techniques, being able to go as crazy as he liked. People actually looked up to his carefree techniques.

Sadie: Sadie is not want to stay still and do boring stuff. With this in mind she kept seeking careers that would give her a sense of adventure and excitement. Archeology seemed good as any guess, she was lured by all the traveling she would get to do, but the job itself was too still. She then chose a crime scene investigation degree, solving those crimes and bringing closure to the victim’s family was something that kept Sadie going. Never a boring day at work, always something new to uncover.

Karen: A body positive queen, Karen pursued a esthetician’s degree. She is great at making people comfortable on their own skin, always looking forward to make young girls embrace their natural beauty. Her bubbly, talkative personality won over the hearts of celebrities even when she was still an intern in training. That brought her a status of beauty guru on Instagram.

Tilly: Ambitious and diligent with her studies, it was written in the stars that Tilly would have a bright future. Her dedication paid of by earning her a spot in a prestigious medical school. She has many traits suitable for this profession. Empathic and understanding, she is leaning towards the pediatric specialization, but not only that, Tilly is practical and good under pressure, which makes her stand out among her classmates.

Mary-Beth: A life among books was all that Mary-Beth could dream of. But she also knew how difficult the publishing industry is. So not only she now studies creative writing improving her already natural skills, and flirting with new genres, she decided to get a degree in library sciences. A way to secure her financial independence and be surrounded by the things she loves the most. The work as an intern at the library is lovely, she gets to meet new people who shares the same interest at her and contribute so everyone gets access to books.

Mrs. Grimshaw: Let’s go ahead and admit that Susan likes to be in charge. He was not born to hear others telling her what to do. When choosing a degree, she kept that in mind. The one that she showed more interest was in people’s management and Human Resources. Where she could delegate all she wanted. But not only that, Susan likes to analyze who is better suited for each task. Great at reading people, she will do great in her field.

Molly: Oh, elegant and classy, Molly! Her sense of aesthetic is on point and that lead her to a life of famous trendsetter on the internet. But she thinks that’s not a real job, so, looking to put her good taste in things at a use, she ends up getting a degree in Jewelry design. Uniting her passion of expensive, beautiful things with artistic talent. 

Kieran: All he ever wanted to do with his life is to be around horses. They brought such peace and joy to Kieran that he knew his life would have to follow this path. He started pursuing a Large-Animal vet, with a minor in equestrian studies. It was even better than he imagined, he was fascinated by every aspect from animal nutrition to the actual care of horses. Being a responsible, calm person made a lot of his teachers very pleased.

Trelawny: Captivating and a social butterfly, Josiah had no doubts about looking for a career in communication. His charming personality was very suitable for a journalism degree. He knows his way around words and the most terrible news don’t sound as awful coming from the charismatic (future) anchorman. I wouldn’t mind having his face on my TV every night.

Pearson: Truth is didn’t mattered if he loved cooking for people, as people didn’t loved his food. He didn’t knew if was the improvising or just the plain lack of formal knowledge, he was never taught, just jumped on it. Tired of people giving the food piece by piece for the dog, Pearson pursued a degree in Gastronomy. Finally being able to dive deep in the dishes he was trying to master for years. Pearson is a simple, rustic man and most of the students gave him a hard time for him not being sophisticated enough. He doesn’t mind, at least his foods fills more than the gap of teeth, like theirs.

Swanson: He was kicked out of his theology course, never showed up sober. That’s it. Currently studying philosophy instead and actually enjoying himself. Orville has many thoughts that can be deepened by getting this degree. He looks forward to a get a minor in counseling though, to help others there were in the same place he was a few years ago.

[svtntntn]

on the rocks;)

bartender!seungcheol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LEADER!!

so let's get down to business

seungcheol first got into bartending when he was deemed the bartender at parties, pouring drinks for everyone in the kitchen as to keep an eye out for who was drinking too much and needed to stopped

basically mr. responsible

he decided to look up actual cocktails and mixed drinks and tried doing it at home, that's when he decided to go to bartending school and actually be a licensed bartender

works at this place called ‘the underground’

seungcheol usually wears a black t-shirt with plain black slacks and nonslip shoes behind the counter

sometimes he'll break out his black button-up with one and two buttons undone at the top and slick his hair back;)

he usually works on the same nights as hansol, wonwoo and mingyu, as wonwoo and hansol are v quick and detail-oriented when making drinks, and mingyu’s great at spotting customers who need drinks as well as getting their attention

flirts with customers from time to time, but only bites his lips and sends them a couple winks if they're into him—nothing more

seungcheol works his night shifts until the morning, choosing to be the last person to leave to make sure everything is cleaned up and locked up at the end of the night

lowkey has the respect of a manager but is still on the same level as everyone aka mr. de facto leader:)

you first see him across the room when your friends wheein and yongsun leave to get the first round of drinks, watching them talk briefly before he prepares their order

seungcheol's eyes catch yours across the room, but he focuses on making drinks instead

bc he's on duty and you're probably with your s/o or your friends and you probably just want a night to relax

you don't need some bartender like making googly eyes at you the whole night

but you're doing exactly that to him

hyejin notices you staring at the bartender the whole night, "(y/n), you should go flirt with the bartender"

"wHAT? me?" you shake your head, pulling your gaze from the handsome man, "no no no no no" 

"do it! here, I'll help you!" hyejin pulls you to your feet and to the bar counter, smiling at the cute bartender while twirling her hair around her finger, "hi! could we get a couple drinks?"

"of course, what can I get for you ladies?" under the lights, his smile twinkles, like actually sHINES

your eyes dart over his chest for a name tag, but there's none to be found and when you look back up at the bartender's eyes, he winks at you

"my friend, (y/n), actually wanted—what did you want again?" hyejin turns to you to answer, but you're drawing a blank, "one, uh—water please?"

hyejin’s jaw slackens in disbelief as the cute bartender chuckles and nods, "one water for the beautiful lady then"

just as he leaves, hyejin slaps your arm, "(y/n)! what was that! water? you could have asked for any other drink on the planet!"

"but-" you're about to mention how the cute bartender did call you 'beautiful' but hyejin mumbles something about needing her drink and goes back to the table when seungcheol appears with said water for you

"one water for the beautiful lady, (y/n) was it?"

"yes, and thank you so much! uh I was—" you're about to say something else when someone pushes by you and snaps their fingers at the cute bartender, barking out a list of drinks to him 

seungcheol holds in his anger at the insensitive customer and politely excuses himself to fix their drinks

you tap on the shoulder of the rude man, "excuse me, you don't have to snap at the bartenders like a dog. they're fixing your drinks, so be kind and patient with them, will you?"

you leave with your water before the man can say anything else and avoid looking back at the bar 

when hyejin raises her eyebrow at you, you shake your head and join in on the conversation with moonbyul and yongsun, momentarily forgetting about the handsome bartender and the rude customer

towards the end of the night, one of the taller bartenders rings the metal bell positioned over the center of the bar, saying something about last call for drinks 

your friends mention they're about to leave after the large crowd of ppl do when the bell is run again but with a different announcement, "would someone by the name of (y/n) come to the bar! your wallet is with one of the bartenders! thank you!"

you're confused bc you do have your wallet on you? 

you pull it out as moonbyul and wheein all stare at you while yongsun and hyejin push you towards the bar

this had to be a misunderstanding, right?

you wait by the bar counter for a bartender to come by and the one with light brown hair stops by you, "oh you're (y/n)? seungcheol has your wallet, let me get him"

"wait, no! that's the thing, I do have my wallet" you hold up your own as proof

"oh," hansol scratches his head bc seungcheol just told him he had a customer's wallet, but you seem to have it so okay then, "oh sorry about that, enjoy the rest of your night! sorry for the misunderstanding"

"it's all good! you too" you end up leaving the bar without the cute bartender's name or number:(((((

guess you gotta come back:')))

meanwhile seungcheol is cleaning up around the bar and in the backroom when everyone strolls in after locking the front

"hey hansol, did anyone named (y/n) come to the counter?"

hansol's grabbing his headphones from his bag, "(y/n)? oh yeah, she did!"

"wait—she did? what, why didn't you tell me!" seungcheol groans and slumps over into a pillow on the backroom's couch

"she told me she had her wallet, so she left… am I missing something?"

seungcheol runs a hand over his face, "I wanted to get her number before she left, that's why I said I had her wallet"

"but you didn't... oH!" hansol makes an apologetic face, "sorry"

"it's okay, she'll probably come back" seungcheol remains hopeful and guess what??

you do come back!! albeit a couple weeks later, but you come back!! 

but this time, it's for a blind date ripppp

wheein and hyejin had an idea of setting you up with a colleague of theirs from work for awhile and they set you up to meet this guy at the underground club/bar

so you're dressed to kill in a hot outfit with your hair all done up and when you walk into building, no one can take their eyes off you

you take an empty seat at the bar counter and there's tons of ppl asking to buy you a drink, but you shake your head and tell them you're waiting for your date

and when seungcheol overhears this, he gets kinda pouty bc he’s lost his chance with you:(((

but it doesn't mean he can't talk to you or serve you

you're warding off another stranger trying to buy you a drink when seungcheol swoops in, "excuse me miss, is this man bothering you?"

"oh no, I was just asking him to leave, thank you" you give the stranger a pointed look and he gets the message, putting his hands up innocently and obeying your wishes

"thank you for helping me" you're a blushing mess bc the cute bartender is back and you're suddenly v conscious about how you look

"nope, that was all you" he fiddles with his clean rag on his side of the bar, "(y/n), right?"

"you remember me?"

"well yeah," seungcheol shrugs, "you looked really really pretty then and you look really really pretty now, how could I forget?" 

seungcheol's surprised he managed to get the words out as you blush and look down at your hands

"plus you defended me when that one guy snapped at me, not many people do that"

you and seungcheol end up talking more and more and he just wants to be with you one-on-one and not at work, but wonwoo and mingyu call him out on being distracted by you

"seungcheol, could you help out with some orders? I get you want to talk to the pretty woman, but we are on-duty here"

seungcheol sheepishly smiles and winks at you, "sorry guys, lemme make her a drink real quick"

he makes you his favorite drink but before he leaves he slides over a napkin with his number, "I forgot to introduce myself, I'm choi seungcheol"

your smile is as wide as can be and you decide to act a bit more confident once you see the number on the napkin, "perfect, I can finally stop calling you 'the cute bartender' in my head"

"I wouldn't mind if you continued calling me that" seungcheol has this satisfied smirk and he's biting his lip and—

"seUNGCHEOL" 

it's wonwoo who calls him this time

"sorry sorryyyy" he's caught by the guys again and he excuses himself to help other customers at the counter

you grin to yourself as you hold the napkin bc you finally have the cute bartender—seungcheol's number

you fold the napkin to put in your purse when there's a tap on your shoulder and there's the guy you're supposed to be set up with aka your blind date, "excuse me, but are you (y/n)?"

you stand up to greet your date, "yes I am, you must be hyunwoo? you work with wheein and hyejin?"

"I do, yes! sorry to keep you waiting, it took me awhile to find this place, I don't really go out to clubs and bars much" 

hyunwoo's super sweet to you and he seems like a genuinely nice and amazing guy the more you talk to him, but you're just not feeling him?

maybe bc your heart's already taken by the cute bartender

and hyunwoo thinks the same of you—super kind and wonderful in every which way, but you two just don't click together romantically

and that's okay!!

hyunwoo and you both recognize that and part on amicable terms, wishing each other a good night and luck in the future 

you smile wistfully at hyunwoo's departing figure when seungcheol meekly walks to your side of the bar, "(y/n)? are you okay?"

seungcheol's been staring at you and hyunwoo the whole time he's been on his shift, only interrupting to ask if you or him needed a refill but other than that, he's been staying a respectable distance from your date

"huh? yes, I'm fine! thank you seungcheol," you're swishing your drink in the glass and seungcheol is confused by what just happened bc you and him were smiling and stuff so...

"bad date?" he’s really confused and he just looks so damn adorable when he’s confused

"oh no! no, he's a good guy, we just didn't click well"

seungcheol's awkward as he doesn't know how to change the conversation, "sorry about that"

"no it's alright, this night isn't a complete failure" you hum positively, just when seungcheol asks why is that

you pretend to think for a moment before answering, "well, the cute bartender I've been thinking about for weeks remembered me from the first time I came in here, and he told me his name finally, and he made me a really good drink, and he gave me his number, and he really wants to take me out for breakfast or coffee when his shift is over"

seungcheol finally catches on and he grins, "he does?" 

"I don't know," you playfully ask, "does he?"

he really does;)

. 

[paisleywraith]

Dawn of the Queen Chapter 1

Lady McCormick has handed herself over to Elvenkind to ensure the safe return of her younger sister. The Elven King requests her hand in marriage for reasons unknown, but Kenny is willing to pay any price without question as long as it saves Karen. 

The Kingdom of Kupa Keep had its castle in the middle of the land, surrounded by mountains and forests and all sort of other things Lady McCormick hadn’t seen in years. The blonde beauty was restricted to the castle at all times, and without free-roam, to live her days in boredom and concern. She wasn’t used to seeing all of this.

She watched the sun rise and set over the mountains twice, with a solemn sort of awe. Her arms were crossed, jaw set. This was the last time she’d see anything. She focied on the clouds, the color of the sky. The trees.

It was the forests she was most interested in at the moment, considering it was where she was headed. The first time in years she’d been allowed outside, and she had to view it from inside a carriage while being transported into a cave.

“A cave?” The Lady had asked the Grand Wizard in distress.

“That’s where Elves live, Kinny.” The wizard scratched his cheek as he half-listened to the golden-haired woman. “In the dark, underground.”

“I-” The Lady McCormick turned away, heart racing.

“His people have your little sister, remember.” The Wizard said unnecessarily. “Bring peace by marriage, they have vowed to treat her well and ensure her release.”

Kenny closed her eyes, inhaling. Marriage. To an Elf. That she’d never met.

Those kind had killed her parents, she read. Pointed-eared monsters, ragged hair, built like bulls with human faces that destroyed everything they touched. They desired to conquer, to kill, to take back land that was no longer rightfully theirs, holding on to grudges that no longer concerned anyone, particularly the McCormicks.

           And now they had Karen.

           The past few years, once her baby sister disappeared from the castle of Kupa Keep, Kenny had been kept exclusively indoors and away from people (therefore away from potential kidnappers). The Grand Wizard, though kind of an asshole, had searched and discovered the younger McCormick within their realm.

           The Elves refused to return the child, stating they would only when they had peace. How did they desire peace? Through an offering…a desire for new blood…they wanted one of the castle’s own to wed. Keep them from inbreeding, the Wizard said.

           Kenny didn’t have to think for a second before making her decision, despite the obvious trouble.

           “Tell them I agree.”

           How could she have not? Karen was the only thing she had left.

           So on her way she was sent, unseen by the receiving race. Like a beast sent to market. And what was worse-

           “Who are they marrying me off to?” Lady McCormick asked, coldly. She would not be afraid.

           The Wizard finally glanced over. “Their King.”

           The son of the people who led the Great Slaughter that ultimately killed her parents. To keep peace, she had to marry a murderer. To keep her baby sister safe, she was marrying the man who helped kill their parents.

           It would be worth it, if they released Karen. She would just have to be clever.

           Kenny prayed they hadn’t hurt Karen. If they did, God help them, she would-

           “Almost there, Princess Kenny!” The Merciful Paladin Stotch peered into the carriage from his lazy, speckled horse. “How you holding up?”

           “Fine, thank you.” Lady McCormick was denied the title of Princess back in the Keep, despite her being in the highest rankings in the castle, but a couple friends she held dear had no issue referring to her as such. ‘Butters’ was more or less her best friend, and treated her kindly and respectfully always.

           “We’re approaching a blockade!” The blond boy with glassy blue eyes relayed importantly. “Just wait until we make sure the know who we are. It’s a whole bunch of Elves, they’ve already seen us.”

           Kenny said nothing to that, only leaned back and pressed her lips firmly together. It had begun. Within a short time, she would be within the Elven kingdom. Butters would go home, and she would be left with no one.

           “Halt!” A voice called out over the moor. Kenny looked out and only saw fields, mist in the early day, and the very skirting edge of trees. They must be right before the forest. “Bring your carriage here, mortals.”

           The shuffling and talking went on for some time, and her door was opened.

           Kenny looked over spitefully, though it lessened greatly when the person looked up at her. She blinked.

           “You don’t look much like an Elf,” She said mostly without thinking, and didn’t care much that she had said it after she did consider it.

           The brunet man who opened the door blushed adorably rather than got angry, and it almost endeared him to her.

           “I’m a human, myself,” He stammered. “Raised by Elves. I’m Stan Marshwalker, my Lady. I’m to escort you to the palace.”

           “Oh,” Kenny said, realizing he was waiting for something. “I’m to…walk?”

           “We have horses,” Marshwalker said patiently. “But our roads aren’t created for human carriages. You’d find it a terrible ride.”

           He reached out his hand, and she took it and allowed her out of the carriage. Two horses, unsaddled but bridled in black leather and intricate steel, stood obediently to the side without handlers.

           “You know how to ride, my Lady?” Marshwalker asked, again very politely. Almost like he was being careful.

           “I do,” Kenny looked around for Butters, who was off his horse now and wearing a very forlorn look. Without a thought for decency, she hiked her skirts up to jog, reaching out and receiving her friend in a hug.

           “Take care of yourself,” She told him. She hadn’t expected to say goodbye so soon. She hadn’t been told she’d have to make the last leg of the journey alone. By the heavy look in the Paladin’s eyes, she suspected he’d known.  

           “And you, Princess,” Butters said with a squeeze before releasing her. “The Grand Wizard says mail can still get through. So I’ll send you lots an’ lots of letters. Don’t worry, Kenny.”

           Bless the Paladin and his soft, gentle heart.

           “Then I’ll write to you soon.” She squeezed his hand warmly and turned away, before she could start to feel upset. Stay stern. She strode, quite queenly, to where the brunet human-raised-by-Elves stood by the two brown steeds.

           She took a breath to center herself, sent a glance back to her Paladin friend before reaching. Kenny hopped up without any help, not wanting to make the impression that, despite the fact she was going along with all this, she was in any way incapable. Even if it meant she had to sit astride like a man.

           Stan smoothly hopped onto his horse as well, not commenting, and reached for the reins to turn his horse effortlessly.

           “Wave your goodbyes, Princess,” Marshwalker told her, inadvertently using her companion’s term for her. “We’re on our way.”

              Kenny said nothing for a good portion of the journey. Her horse was calm, and far more knowledgeable than she as to where they were going, so she took the time to think.

           She was on her way. She hoped that after the wedding, they’d release Karen. She had to decide if she wanted Karen with her or sent to the Keep. It depended on how bad the caves were. They’d suffered worse, though, and she’d love to be able to watch over her. She’d bend to whatever whims her husband wanted if he’d just keep her safe.

           Kenny exhaled, glancing up at the trees. Gnarled and unfriendly, branches swooped so low she could have touched them if she wanted. Almost all were covered in thick moss, and heavy vines hung everywhere she could see.

           At least her companion seemed cheerful. He patted his horse kindly and spoke respectfully, which was more than Kenny expected of her first brush with Elves. Though it might be because Stan wasn’t an Elf. He was sweet, and he was cute, and Kenny hoped she could make an ally of him.

Stan had said nothing about her riding like this, so either it wasn’t noticed or the Elven kind didn’t care much for propriety. She was considering the last option the most.

           “What was it like,” Kenny asked as they strode onward, the branches overhead tangled ominously and blocking most of the light. “To be raised by Elves as a human?”

           It was a rude question, but Stan didn’t seem to mind.

           “Honestly?” He said, horse matching Kenny’s pace within step, “Not all that different. There’s some things I can’t do that Elves can, but I’m capable. I’m right hand to the King, after all.”      

           Her future husband. Kenny felt a cold fear rush her veins. “The King?”

           “Kyle, High-King of the Elvish people.” Marshwalker said proudly. “We’ve been best friends since we were children.”

           Interesting. Kenny mulled that over, keeping a blank smile on her face. What a claim, to be ‘best friends’ with the ruler of a kingdom. She needed more information. Luckily, a little flattery from a woman could do wonders.

           “He must trust you a lot,” She said sweetly, “To bring back his future bride all by yourself.”

           Stan’s ears turned red, but he looked more pleased than flustered. “Oh, we aren’t by ourselves,” He corrected her with a smile. “His Highness sent his best agent to follow and be sure nothing reaches us.”

           “Best agent?” Kenny asked, when Stan didn’t clarify on his own.

           Stan leaned on his horse, lowering his voice. “One of the Barbarian tribe. A warrior of the highest order.”

           A Barbarian! Kenny raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t seen one in person, and had barely given them real thought. Must at the Keep assumed they were dead. “Aren’t they a dangerous bunch?” She asked. “They don’t have…they aren’t friends of humans or Elves, right?”

           “Not typically,” Marshwalker agreed. “But Tweek is considered one of Us. The Elvenkind are helping him…well, he’s friends with the King.” He trailed off.

           Kenny narrowed her eyes briefly, but smiled and stored that information away for later.

           “We’re approaching the caverns, My Lady.” Stan told her. “It isn’t a far up ahead.”

           “Are they really underground?” She asked. Stan nodded.

           “They are,” Stan adjusted the reins. “But don’t worry. Everything is bright and spacious. I think you’re going to like it.”

           Kenny readjusted her mental picture. “Okay,” She said. She glanced over. “And your friend, the King?” Get the damn hint and get talking.

           Stan looked confused before smiling. “What’s he like, you mean?” He waited for her nod. “Smart. Kind. He’s been a good King.” Stan was quiet for a moment after that, an emotion sweeping over his face that Kenny didn’t like. “Anyway,” He said, “You’ll find out soon.”

           Someone darted into their path and Kenny nearly fell off her damn horse. The person was wiry, thin, and had nearly melted out of the shadows.

           “What the hell are you?” Kenny couldn’t help, drawing back on the reins of her unimpressed horse.

           “That’ll be Tweek.” Stan said in explantion.

           The Barbarian was pale, with dark tattoos covering his body. His hair was wild as his eyes and honestly he wasn’t really wearing much. He grabbed Kenny’s bridle and the horse didn’t so much as flinch.            

           “I have the horse, youcangetoff now.” He spoke in slow and quick bursts, almost like he was used to a different dialect. Stan had already dismounted, so Kenny slid off the beast.

           Making sure her skirt hadn’t ridden up, Kenny shook out her clothes and trotted behind Marshwalker. She spared Tweek a glance. The Barbarian couldn’t have been taller than her. He was less muscular than she expected. Built for stealth, probably. He’d slunk out of the shadows like a dream. Had he been following them on foot that whole time?

           “Come with me, Princess,” Stan beckoned her to walk aside. “Take my arm. The caverns are up ahead.”

           She was expecting a hole in the ground, but instead was led up moss-covered steps. She slipped at one point, catching herself just as Stan steadied her. There was a door, crudely cut into the cliffside, and they stepped inside.

           “Hey, Stan,” A guard cut his own words off to look over Kenny. The Lady stared back. He had large, pointed ears, but other than that, he looked almost human. Was he half? Kenny knew Humans and Elves were sexually compatible, and often had Half-Breeds. She wanted to ask, but the guards behind were already unlocking a gate and swinging heavy solid metal doors aside.

           Here, everything was torchlit, and stairs led down. In the distance, laughter and loud chatter in a strange tongue echoed and bounced down the corridor.

           “Here we go,” Stan said kindly. “I’m glad you’re wearing boots, the stairs are steep. Let’s go.”

           It was easier than she expected. Everything was lit, as Stan said, though she imagined Karen trying to take this walk alone. She grit her teeth.

           “Oh, fuck.”

           Kenny stared at Stan as he stopped short. Coming up the stairs was the laughing group they’d been hearing. The entourage stopped when they saw Kenny, all falling quiet in almost humorous unison.

           “What now?” Someone shouldered aside the front crowd, and Stan winced before going in for the bow.

           “Your Highness,” Stan raised back quickly as Kenny’s heart stopped.

           Torchlight flickered off a strong jaw, sharp cheekbones. Kenny couldn’t tell what color his eyes were. She could tell that he was built handsomely, strong but not broad, with long scarlet robes and gold embellishment.

           Most of all, she noticed the messy red curls, offset by sharply pointed ears, and the crown made of branches nestled into his hair.

           Kenny found herself stupidly frozen.

           The Elf took a step up, until he stood two below Kenny. His jaw was set and he inclined his head slightly.

           “Lady McCormick,” He raised his eyes again to settle firmly on hers. “Welcome home.”

           Kenny kept her mouth closed. So this was her husband, the Elven King. She hated herself for the shivering, the cool pit of fear. This was the person she had to fool, had to please, had to keep from hurting Karen.

           “My Lord,” Stan spoke up, saving her the awkwardness of a reply, “I was taking Princess Kenny to her quarters.”

           Kyle quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head. Kenny’s eyes flit to his jaw. She wasn’t expecting smooth skin and pretty lips. Elves were…depicted differently in the Keep? Perhaps? Unless he was a different breed, like horses or dogs. He was outright handsome, despite the clash of red with hair and robe.

           “Princess?” Kyle’s eyes flit back to the girl. Kenny was sure she was going to grit her teeth to nothing, but Kyle didn’t say anything further. “Go on, I’ll be back tonight,” He told Stan, and whipped past them.

           Stan was glaring at the King’s back, strangely, and Kenny kept her grip on Stan’s arm as she watched the look on his face.

           The brunet sighed, and pulled her gently along with him down the stairs past the King’s group.

           Kenny waited until they were further away, still moving down the stairs, before leaning close to her walking companion.

           “Is that what Elves look like?” She breathed, not wanting to be overheard.

           Stan looked confused. “Yeah?” He tilted his head like a confused puppy. He chewed on his lip. “That was…King Kyle.”

           “I noticed,” Kenny picked her skirts further up as the steps grew more steep. “So that’s….the King.”

           They were skipping around the obvious term for what he was to Kenny, she didn’t know whether to be pleased by that or not.

           “Yes.” Stan sounded embarrassed. “He’ll be around later. I’ll show you to your room and let you meet your right hand from now on.”

           Kenny blinked. A grotesque look of trying to keep a straight face wavered. “Exactly what do you mean by that?”

           “Windy,” Stan seemed to comment, until a rather pretty girl with long dark hair and steel grey eyes stepped to meet them at the bottom of the stairs. “This is Lady Kenny McCormick. My Lady, this is Wendy.” He was blushing again now for whatever reason, and stepped back once they reached even floor.

           “My Lady, we’re glad to finally have you,” Wendy was average height, a little shorter than Kenny herself, and dressed in a velvety green with multicolored gems around her throat. “Over here, I’ll show you where your room is.”

           And like that, Kenny was separated from the only person she knew. Down, deep below the surface, among Elvenkind and with her husband-to-be wandering wherever he liked. To be run into at any time. Kenny shivered again.

           She had so many things to keep in mind. If she wanted Karen safe, she’d have to play this right from now on.

           “I think you’ll grow to really like it here,” Wendy spoke soothingly. “Elves are strange, but they’re a gentle race at heart.” She saw the skeptical look on Kenny’s face. “Your husband, Kyle, is our King. He’s an excellent ruler and a very good soul. I think you’ll both be good friends.”

           Good friends. Kenny’s lips twisted. She hadn’t seen her sister in years. Karen could be hurt. Hungry. Could be worse, but she refused to let herself think about it.

           “Tell me about yourself, Lady McCormick,” Wendy spoke as she led Kenny through the halls. The lights were different here, white instead of torch yellow. The looked like stars, and Kenny was more than a little tempted to touch one. Tapestries in red and gold fluttered soft from an unknown, warm breeze.

           “Not much to say,” Kenny said a bit stiffly. “I’m an orphan of the War, I’m of age to marry, there isn’t much to that you must not know.”

           Wendy took the jab easily. “Alright, then I’ll start.” She pulled Kenny aside to let Elves with longbows tread past without sound. Kenny found herself a little miffed that they would pull aside a future bride of the King to let guards pass. Tasteless.

           “I’m a half-Elf, I was born here,” She commented, brushing black hair past rounded ears. “I’m to be essentially your lady-in-waiting, but I don’t like that title.”

           “What would you prefer to be called?” Kenny asked awkwardly.

           “Wendy,” The girl replied simply.

           Easy enough.

           “Your quarters, Lady McCormick, are through here,”

           The narrow corridor opened into a large wing of the caverns, bright as day and steps carved with perfect lines and angles led up to them from across the way. On their right, two large double doors made of what appeared to be glass and gold.

           “Your husband’s room,” Wendy commented. Kenny felt the icy fear stirring in her stomach. How did she think she was going to do this? “Yours is across from him.”

           Less exquisite, but still deep wood and gilded, Wendy flung open the doors and stepped aside.

           The floor was soft, her feet bounced slightly when she walked. Kenny had the urge to kick off her boots and let her bare feet sink into them. The walls were paper and gold, with those white lights dotting every corner. Paintings taller than her of forests, trees, flower gardens, hung on every wall, two doors, and a large desk in front of the garden painting stood in white and gold leaf.

           “It’s beautiful!” Kenny said, and meant it. The bed itself looked golden gilded as well, with long thick curtains on deep mahogany posts. Even the fabric was golden, and she counted at least three blankets and ten pillows.

           “This is your closet,” Wendy gestured to the nearest door, “With clothing in it to be altered for special events…I know you brought some human garb with you as well. The other is a bathroom. With running water.”

           “Running?” Kenny asked, looking up from smoothing her fingers over sheets.

           “Like a stream.” Wendy smiled. “No waiting to fill up water or heat it.”

           Kenny exhaled. One bit of good news. Did that mean baths were not luxuries here? Everyone was startlingly clean for living underground. She glanced at the grime under her nails and sticking to her skin from the ride over. The King must have thought she looked like the Barbarian boy.

           She glanced up to ask whether she could bathe, when she caught sight of the other thing in the room. A tapestry, clearly from Kupa Keep. It looked so out of place with all the Elven things, Kenny outright stared.

           “His Highness thought maybe it would bring you some comfort,” Wendy spoke, something warming her tone. “To have something of your home.”

           Kenny wasn’t sure when she’d ever considered the Keep her home, but there was something startlingly kind in the gesture. Thoughtful.

           “Tell him thank you,” Kenny managed, deciding that if she were playing a part, best start immediately.

           “You can tell him yourself,” Wendy said, reaching into her closet. “You’ll have dinner with him in only a couple hours. Let’s get you washed up and recovered from your long journey first.”