#which makes me even more sure that bea could have an incredible scene with her parents in s3 where she just. proves to them that she's so

[smokestarrules]

Something something the symbolism of a bunch of patriarchal men getting the snot kicked out of them by a lesbian nun on a mission to save the woman she loves and who started the fight by stating that they would get no mercy by standing between her and Ava. Girl literally (because they were possessed) and figuratively fought her demons and won!

Beatrice going from saying, "Faith [in God] is my business" in s1 to saying, "Get the fuck out of my way so I can find my girlfriend (paraphrased)" in s2 is the best character development she could've ever had!!! She warned 'em!!

"Girl literally (because they were possessed) and figuratively fought her demons and won!" Do you know what this line did to me. She literally fought her demons. I hadn't thought about it that way before, but you're right?? She literally fought her demons!!!!

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/5/2024: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994)

I'm sorry, but this movie fucking sucks. I hadn't seen it in decades and I thought it was probably "OK"; I devoured the books as a kid and I didn't remember hating the film, but I should have realized that it was a red flag that I didn't love it. I have now discovered that it's bad enough that it failed to thrill me when I was a morose little horror dork who was really the target audience, and as an adult I can hardly stand it.

Daniel Molloy (Christian Slater, dressed up as Art Spiegelman for some reason) interviews for-realsies vampire Louis (Brad Pitt, still looking like he spends a lot of time in the sun) about life with his master Lestat (Tom Cruise, who knows why) and their eternally-childlike daughter Claudia (poor li'l Kirsten Dunst). Suddenly I feel like I don't know what to say about this, as I'm writing, even though I enjoyed the book and also the superior-in-every-single-way TV show. You know. Louis is really sad about being a monster. Lestat is really happy about being a monster. Claudia is really mad about being a monster. They have interpersonal problems. Later they meet some other vampires, and have interpersonal problems with them. At the end Louis is angry with Daniel for not getting the point, but maybe neither did I.

To some degree the problems of the movie are the problems of the book, but on the page they're basically forgivable for various reasons. I'm probably not going to refresh my memory, but as I recall Anne Rise has a way of really drawing you into her world, which is so literally-sensational that it makes up for her boy-crazy humorlessness. Everybody basically has one characteristic, outlined above, but the visceral pleasure of the prose takes over--and to be totally fair, it was novel at the time. It was the vampire story we had all been waiting to hear. (Ok, so the book is from 1978 but it still felt fresh in 1994) But when you port all that to the screen and leave the telling to these actors who are almost universally miscast, it all just lies there, dead.

I thought my hesitation about rewatching this was related to my petty aversion to Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise specifically. I really don't enjoy either of them in general, and I also felt like they were profoundly wrong for the roles; neither of them could be less goth, less tortured, less otherworldly. It feels criminal to fill these classic queer outsider roles with alpha males who seem like they would have beaten up your weird gay friends in high school, and their performances are not remotely good enough to make up for this impression. Kirsten Dunst is perfectly awful but like...you just can't have a 12 year old playing a person who is any older than 12. It cannot work. It's not her fault, it's just a bad idea.

The only guy who is any good at all in this is Stephen Rea, a staple of director Neil Jordan's films, who I almost didn't even recognize because his Santiago is so uncanny and dynamic and fun despite having very little to do. I love the way his look references LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, it made me wonder how much more could have been done by subtly comparing Rice's vampires with their cultural predecessors. Rea lights up every scene he's in because he's so mischievous and unpredictable, and he's also almost the only person with any standout stunts--which helps me segue into the other main gripe I had with this movie, that it is incredibly stiff and static. It's like a prison. Everyone is totally weighed down by their giant ridiculous wigs and seven layer costumes, so even though the movie is supposed to be all sensual and shit, it's like nobody can even move.

Dealing with INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is making me realize that I'm not quite sure what I think about Neil Jordan. I have this kneejerk reaction that he is Great because THE CRYING GAME is such an institution, and MONA LISA is real good too, but I might have found all of his other movies kind of humorless and stiff and like, beautiful but not altogether meaningful. I really struggle with THE COMPANY OF WOLVES because of its terrific FX and handful of fun scenes, but there is something about it that fails to connect with me. Sometimes it's overly pretentious, I mean paralleling a maiden's coming of age with the blood on the white roses is like...pretty gross, dude. But overall there is something about it that just lacks substance, despite its relentless and oppressive Symbolism. It seems like this problem should have been smoothed out for INTERVIEW since it was shot from Anne Rice's own script, but according to me, it really does not work out.

[jtl07]

jt (finally) watches warrior nun - s1 e3 (pt 1)

Y'all didn't even warn me that this was gonna be that episode?! I near fell out of my chair when I realized this episode had not only the cafeteria/meal scene but also the hug and the hallway scene. Again, strange to know the scenes from fanvids and clips and only now see them in context lol

Anyway it should come to no surprise that I have SO MANY THOUGHTS. So many that I'm going to have to split this episode into either 2 or 3 posts just to talk about Avatrice because the cafeteria scene alone has me feral. Why? Because I'm convinced that it's this scene that builds the foundation for Avatrice.

Everyone points to s1 ep8 as being formative - and rightly so, what with all the face touching lol - but that wasn't the cause, it was an effect, a "symptom" of something that had been building before that. I think s1 ep8 is when they start being aware of their connection, their attraction - I think the cafeteria scene is when that connection begins.

By itself, the cafeteria scene isn't much - tbh, the only thing I'd taken from it before sitting down to watch the series properly was the "not everything is about you" line because of the callback in s2 finale. But taken in context, it's quite a vulnerable scene.

Side note: Many years ago, when I was seriously preparing to go into acting, I was recommended the book "Audition" by Michael Shurtleff. One of the things that stuck with me - in both writing fiction and life in general - is this idea that you have to constantly answer this question: "Why is your character here?" Like, even if the script has them being mean to the other character on stage with them or even outright saying that they want to leave, there's got to be a reason that they're still there - why else would they even be there in the first place? (and it's the actor's job to develop what that reason is, even if it’s never said outright)

So if we look at the cafeteria scene, it very well could not have happened. Ava could have noped out of that room the moment she'd laid eyes on Lilith or when the sisters started leaving. Beatrice herself could have also left. At any point in the conversation, one or both of them could have ended it.

But they didn't. They wanted to believe in people's kindness, wanted a bit of kindness, period. What's beautiful is the arc of the interaction: It starts out rough but slowly they both bend, just a little, give just a little bit of themselves - it's a seed planted, this scene, and I love so much of it.

Okay let's take it from the top. The thing is, most clips (e.g. this one) I've found start with Ava already sitting down next to Beatrice with that infamous voiceover - but I want to actually start before that. Remember: The scene directly before this was Mother Superion and Lilith's first "test" (let's be real, that wasn't a test, it was bullying), and while Ava laughs it off, we know that that's her way of coping - which she says outright during this scene. Coming into the cafeteria at all is incredibly brave after having been faced with such meanness, and then have to face even more meanness in the form of "middle school" style shunning. But she still keeps going, she still chooses to try again, with Beatrice.

Speaking of Beatrice: Her first choice is to stay. Look here - she takes note of Ava setting down her tray and the others whispering and leaving. Sure, she puts her head down and it kinda looks like she's just trying to ignore Ava but still - she doesn't leave.

When Ava makes that middle school comment, Beatrice starts out cold, a bit scolding when she advises Ava to "not treat everything like a joke" and how the halo wasn't just hanging around. But the delivery here is brilliant - KTY could've gone harsher here, tapped into the anger that seems to always be just under the surface with Bea (more on that when I write up my thoughts on s1 ep4), but there's a softness, a grief that she allows to come through. And see, it's that moment of vulnerability, that bending, that hope for kindness that allows Ava also to bend and actually apologize.

And then we have Ava trying again to connect - either because of guilt or because she's desperate for a friend or just to understand in general - and she gives Beatrice the space to share.

Beatrice could have refused. She could have rebuffed her, could have walked away. KTY's choices here are fantastic, how she pauses, how she takes this little breath (00:50 here). The question has unsettled Bea, taken her surprise maybe, but she pushes through, answers Ava honestly. She starts off so matter-of-fact, then slowly starts to thaw. There's beautiful support musically by the bgm piano: a repeated note, akin to the monotone of Beatrice's voice. Then Bea's face changes - and there's a quiet arpeggio that's timed perfectly with it (1:00 here). It's a beautiful touch.

I couldn't help but get this sense of this being cathartic for Beatrice, as if she'd been waiting for a chance to share this, I mean, look at how her face brightens in memory.

What's interesting with Ava is that we don't get a voice over for the rest of this scene - the only sense we get of her discomfort is when she says, "I'm not her, you know." It's the closest we get to her admitting that she's scared shitless - and visually, it's symbolized with her pushing back the hood and allows herself to be seen, to be vulnerable.

And what does Bea do? She immediately comforts, reassures, with such wide eyes and steadiness: "No one expects you to be."

It's a very brief moment, but so, so important: whereas everyone else has been pressuring Ava, trying to get her to do something they want, here is someone who is telling her it's okay to just be who she is.

And yknow, now that I think about it, a lot of this is probably Bea seeing some of herself in Ava. She directly says it with that "It was wasn't me either" line, but I wonder if it's also in the "no one expects you to be" line too - how her parents had expected her to be a certain way, to "fall in line" etc. And probably why she has that small smile when Ava says "It just isn't me"

I don't know if this was a conscious choice by KTY but there's also a moment in the hallway scene where she does a similar small smile - idk I feel like it tends to be moments when she's reassuring Ava. In any case, it's a nice touch.

And then Bea's famous lines, "We all have a past, Ava..." What's interesting here is that in the beginning of the interaction, Bea was hardly meeting Ava's eyes. When she starts talking about Shannon, there are some brief moments when she meets Ava's gaze, but she mostly shies away from Ava's stare. Once she moves into a more reassuring mode, she starts to hold Ava's gaze longer, trying to convince, trying to give comfort.

Can we just talk about how Bea delivers that last line? Taken at face value, "Not everything is about you" can come off really harsh. But Beatrice says it so gently, as if it's not meant as an admonition - part apology maybe (that everyone has their own pain to deal with), part plea (echoing maybe Vincent's direct ask for patience later on), and part encouragement (something like "you'll get through this").

And we end with Ava thoughtful but we're not privy to her thoughts, we're without voice over and just Alba's incredible ability to express so many emotions with just her face.

idk the majority of this is probably just nonsense but whatever, I'm having fun with this lol - I'll write up thoughts about the hug and the hallway scene probably next week, unless I get a lull during my travels this weekend.

[drmmyrs]

The Way I Loved You (Poppy x MC) Part 2

I want to make this a slow burn type of fic so I’ll just be giving crumbs for now 😅 I swear tho there’ll be more plot and action in the later parts.

tag list: @whackawriting @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @uselesslesbianfr @baexpoppy @alexroyard @alexlabhont @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings​ (If you wanna be added or removed or just prefer a certain ship just let me know ❤️)

Read Part 1

Word Count: 1700

Warning: none

"I'm sorry, Ms. Min-Sinclair, we only have one more room available for tonight."

Bea watched as the expression on Poppy's face went from horrified to anger. "Check again, please."

"I'm really sorry, but unfortunately, all our other rooms are already booked since we had several guests come in because of the storm," the receptionist said apologetically.

The look Poppy gave the receptionist must have been pretty damn scary, given that his hand was now visibly shaking.

Poppy's voice was beginning to rise. "Listen to me you–"

Bea clasped her hand around Poppy's wrist and dragged her away from the poor guy before she could make a scene. Kind and sweet Poppy was gone entirely. Instead, standing before her was the self-absorbed, shrieking harpy Bea very much knew and hated.

"Calm down, Poppy. The receptionist was just doing his job."

"Calm down?! There's not a chance in hell that I–"

"You know what? If you want to sleep outside in the storm, go ahead because I certainly won't be stopping you," Bea snapped.

Poppy was seething but didn't say anything else.

"I'll be in our room. Feel free to join me once you actually figure out how to act like an adult."

Without waiting for Poppy's response, Bea made her way to the receptionist to finish the transaction, all the while apologizing for Poppy's behavior. Once she got the key, she went straight to the room.

Bea had hoped there were two beds at least, but the way their luck was going, it only made sense that a single queen-sized bed stood at the center of the room. The room itself was average with bland white walls and a window with a city view that was currently shrouded by heavy rain and mist. It certainly wasn't nearly like her room back in Belvoire, but it wasn't like she had any other choice.

After setting down what little things Bea had brought with her–obviously not expecting to spend the night there, and definitely not with Poppy–Bea collapsed on the bed, exhausted. A few minutes later, the door opened, and Poppy walked in, evidently calmer than before. She stood near the doorway, scanning the entire room with a frown. Bea fully expected her to complain about, well, everything, but she just trodded to the side of the bed and glared at her.

"Move."

Bea moved obediently to the other side of the bed, too exhausted to argue. Poppy gracefully slid into bed and took her phone out.

"Stay at your side of the bed, and don't talk to me."

Bea frowned. "I didn't even–"

Poppy scowled at Bea, and Bea made the gesture of zipping her lips. The only sound that followed was the heavy downpour of rain that reverberated across the room. After an hour, Bea got up from bed and started to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Poppy called out, almost sounding... worried.

Bea raised her eyebrow. "I'll come back if that's what you're worried about."

Poppy rolled her eyes, but Bea could see a slight flush on her cheeks. "As if. Get lost in the storm for all I care."

Bea laughed. "I'm just gonna check out the boutique I saw near the lobby. Don't really wanna sleep in these clothes." Bea hesitated. "Do you... want to come with?"

Without answering, Poppy rose from the bed and strode out of the room. Bea followed soon after, and for someone so short, Poppy sure walked incredibly fast that Bea had a hard time keeping up with her.

"Do you even know where it is?" Bea asked.

Probably realizing she didn't, Poppy slowed down until they were walking alongside each other. When they reached the boutique, Poppy immediately frowned in disgust at the clothing selection.

"Ugh, what even is this?" Poppy remarked, looking at a shirt with an unflattering shade of pink.

"Are you saying you can't pull that off?" Bea challenged.

"No, I'm saying that I have standards. Obviously, something you know nothing about." Poppy made her way through the selection, sneering all the while. "I'm not wearing these."

Bea rolled her eyes. "Get off your high horse. If you want to sleep in your sweaty clothes, at least do me a favor and not, like, sleep next to me."

Poppy let out a scornful laugh. "Oh sweety, I'll still smell better than whatever pigsty your perfume came from. But maybe... I'll just wear nothing then."

Despite herself, an image of Poppy naked sprung to Bea's head, sending heat all over her body. She slightly faced away from Poppy.

Noticing Bea's sudden silence, Poppy curiously looked at her. "My, my, Farmsville, don't tell me you're already imagining me naked," Poppy said with a smirk.

Mustering her most dismissive tone, Bea said, "Please, you're not even that hot." A blatant lie, of course. Poppy is a lot of things, and 'hot' is definitely one of those. Thankfully, Poppy moved on after seeing a dress that, Bea agreed, 'should be burned.'

After a painstakingly long search, Poppy was finally able to find something 'tolerable.' They made their purchases and went back to their room. When they arrived, Poppy was the first to get in the shower, and when she came out, she was wearing a tight-fitting tank top and bike shorts that hugged and accentuated all her curves. The room suddenly got so much hotter as Bea tried her absolute best not to stare at her, and even so, she knew it was a losing battle which is why she jumped to the shower the first chance she got. After showering, Bea realized that in her hurry, she forgot to take her clothes with her. She wrapped a towel and walked out to the bedroom to get her clothes. When her back was turned to Poppy, Bea glanced at a mirror nearby and was surprised to see Poppy staring at her with her mouth parted slightly. But when she casually turned around, Poppy had already averted her gaze.

Later that night, the storm got worse as thunders started to rumble outside. At first, Bea thought it was just a trick of the light, but after a few more claps of thunder, she could see Poppy flinch at every roar with her eyes clenched shut.

Is Poppy... actually scared of thunderstorms?  

As if to answer her question, Poppy started to heave heavily, with traces of sweat forming on her forehead. And as much as Bea despised Poppy–or at least that's what she kept telling herself–she actually felt sorry for her. And against her better judgment, Bea reluctantly placed her hand over Poppy's and gave it a soft squeeze. Poppy tensed for a moment at the gesture before she relaxed and gripped Bea's hand tighter. In response, Bea started tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand, and they fell asleep through the thunderstorm, hand-in-hand.

When Bea woke up, most of the storm had already passed, with light to moderate rain falling intermittently. She scanned the room and saw Poppy eating at the desk.

"Your food's getting cold," Poppy said without looking at her.

"You... got me food?"

"I figured since we didn't have dinner yesterday." Poppy turned to face Bea. "Why do you sound so surprised."

Bea furrowed her brows. "Because that's actually nice. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not."

"Well, I don't particularly care about you. And trust me, no one will be happier than me with you gone. But, unfortunately, I do have to keep you alive at least until after the party. Grades and all."

Bea got up and went to the desk to get her food. Poppy got her an English-style breakfast while she was eating... a teensy salad.

Poppy saw Bea looking at her food. "Did you also want a salad?"

"Uh, no. It just doesn't look... filling."

"It's not. But it's not like I have a choice. Their vegetarian selection is awful."

And just when Bea thought Poppy couldn't surprise her anymore.

"Wait, you're... vegetarian?" Bea asked in undisguised surprise.

"Yes." Poppy narrowed her eyes at Bea. "You know, you have to stop assuming you know everything about me. In fact, you know nothing about me."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that."

Bea went back to bed and started to eat her food, her mind going back to the foster home, how Poppy's entire personality changed around the people there. Before, Bea was so convinced that she had Poppy pegged, just a basic bitch who thought too highly of herself with no regard for others at all. But Poppy was right; Bea barely knew her... and she wanted to know more.

"Why?" Bea turned to face Poppy. "Why are you a vegetarian, I mean. If you don't mind me asking."

Poppy made an annoyed expression. "I do mind, actually."

A grin spread on Bea's face. "Oh my god, you totally care about the animals."

When Poppy didn't respond, Bea continued. "First kids and now animals? My, my, Poppy, what will people say if they knew that their favorite she-devil is actually a big softie."

Poppy stopped eating and turned to give Bea a menacing glare. "If you tell anyone about this, you're dead."

After they finished eating, Bea and Poppy started planning for the party the next day. So naturally, more than a few shouts, insults, and curses were thrown around until they finally, finally, agreed on all the details. Since Poppy was the one with all the connections, she had to call for all the services needed. And when her trusty photographer told her he wasn't available, Poppy cursed in frustration.

"The party, it's not just about your GPA, is it. This is really important to you."

Poppy didn't answer and instead went back to make a few more phone calls.

When everything was settled, the storm had fully passed, and it was already safe to drive home. So imagine Bea's surprise when Poppy said that they were staying there for another night.

"I thought you hated this place."

"I do. But I'm not going to drive an hour home just to go back early tomorrow. Besides, we'll get things done much faster if we stay here."

Bea smiled. "Would you like some champagne?"

[hrh-prince-butt]

the memories are all i have

henry finds an old relic from the past, and it brings back memories of his dad. basically, this is inspired by a headcanon of mine. 

read it on AO3

The book is heavy and covered in dust when Henry picks it up. It was in one of the boxes of things he hasn’t yet decided if he will bring with him to America. When he dusts it off, the title, written in intricate gold letters, becomes visible:

The Complete Collection of Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen.

Henry’s breath catches in his throat as he is filled with recognition. This book… He opens it, to find that the pages have gone stiff and yellow with age. This book must be nearly as old as himself. He can’t remember when he got it, but he must have been really young.

The pages don’t make any sound as he flips through it, stopping nearly halfway through. The title of each story is written in beautiful cursive letters and accompanied by a little illustration. This one is of a swan, floating peacefully on a lake, its head held up in an elegant and prideful manner. It’s beautiful, and he’s seen it a million times before.

-

“Daddy, will you read to me?”

Henry is just tall enough for his head to poke up behind his dad’s desk. What he’s doing looks important and adult-y and incredibly boring. What he should be doing is reading to Henry. Or playing with Henry. Bea is at a sleepover with her school friends, and the palace seems empty and sad, with nothing fun for him to do.  

His dad smiles apologetically. “Sorry, love,” he says. “I have so much to do. How about later?”

“Pwease?” Henry says. He’s perfectly capable of pronouncing the word correctly, but his experience tells him he’s more likely to get what he wants when adults find him adorable.

It looks like an internal battle is taking place in his dad’s head, and he doesn’t sound as certain when he says: “I’ll read to you before bed like I always do, I promise. But I haven’t got time right now, baby. I’m sorry.”

Henry pouts and looks up at his dad with the biggest puppy eyes he can muster. There’s not much his big blue eyes and full, rosy cheeks can’t accomplish. “But I wanna read now, daddy,” he pleads.

“Oh, how can I say no to you?” His dad sighs, defeated. He chuckles and shakes his head, getting up from his desk chair. “Fine. You pick out a book and I’ll read to you, but just for a bit, okay? Daddy is very busy.”

The book is almost too heavy for Henry to carry, but he manages to get it to the sitting room. He crawls onto his dad’s lap, nestling himself between two big, strong arms.

They flip through the pages together, and Henry stops him at the story of  the ugly duckling. The illustration of the swan is what caught his eye the first time he saw it. But the story itself has gripped him ever since his dad first read it to him. The little duckling who grows up feeling wrong, misplaced... For some reason, it resonates with him. His favourite part is the ending, when the ugly duckling grows into a beautiful swan and finds a place it truly belongs. Henry doesn’t feel like he belongs in this palace. Everything here is too perfect. But right here, in his dad’s arms, he feels at home.

His dad starts reading: “It was so beautiful out in the country, it was summer- the wheat fields were golden, the oats were green, and down among the green meadows the hay was stacked …”

Henry can already picture the scene. The beautiful countryside on a summer day, surely the most peaceful place to be. He closes his eyes and immerses himself in the story, allowing his dad’s voice to carry him far away.

-

“Will you read to me?”

The typical hospital sounds - machines beeping, hurried footsteps along the hallway, uncomfortable silences - have all faded into the background by now. It’s just the two of them, Henry and his dad.

It’s difficult to look at him, his dad who has always been the strongest and bravest person Henry knows, in a hospital bed looking weak and exhausted. He doesn’t look like himself, Henry thinks. His face is pale and sunken, and he has been rapidly losing weight lately. There doesn’t seem to be much of him left, and it hurts to look at, so Henry picks up the book of fairy tales from his nightstand. He found it on a shelf a few days ago, collecting dust, and he figured maybe his dad would like it if he read aloud to him. It seems like returning a favour, almost.

“Which story do you want me to read?” He asks softly.

“Hmm.” His dad closes his eyes, and is silent for so long Henry thinks he might’ve fallen asleep. He’s about to put the book away when his dad finally answers: “That one you always loved as a child… The ugly duckling, right?”

Henry tries to smile. “Yeah.” He doesn’t need to look in the registry for the page number: Even after all these years, he remembers what page it begins on. He can’t do what his dad used to do; make the stories come to life so it feels like you’re there, so instead, he lets his voice be a warm and comforting presence in the otherwise sterile room.

Halfway through the story, he feels his dad’s hand on his own and looks up. “Do you want me to stop?” He asks.

His dad shakes his head. “No, just… You know I love you, right?”

“Oh.” Henry takes his hand. “I love you too, dad.”

“And, you know, if you ever think that there’s something… some part of you that I would be disappointed in or that would make me love you any less… Just know that’s not the case. I will always love you no matter what, baby.”

Henry feels his stomach drop. Does his dad know? How could he? No one knows, not even Bea. “I, er…” He doesn’t know what to say, so he just gives his dad’s hand a gentle squeeze and continues reading.

He doesn’t get far before his dad is fast asleep. It’s the last time he’s alone with him.

-

“Henry, sweetheart?”

The voice carries Henry swiftly and mercilessly back to reality. Alex is standing in the doorway. His eyebrows crease in a concerned look when Henry turns to face him.

“What's wrong, baby?” In a few long strides, Alex crosses the room to where Henry is standing, still holding the book.

Henry looks down at the heavy book in his hands, still opened at the page where the ugly duckling begins. He follows the sketched lines of the swan carefully, mostly to avoid looking at Alex. “Nothing,” he mumbles. “I’m fine.”

Alex brings up his hand to stroke Henry’s hair. “It doesn’t look that way,” he says, but when Henry stays quiet, he lets it go. “Found anything worth keeping?” He half gestures to the book in Henry’s hands.

He nods, looking from the book to Alex. His deep brown eyes, looking at Henry with a mix of love and concern. He sighs, lowering his eyes to the book again. “I wish I’d told him,” he says abruptly.

“Huh?”

“I wish I’d come out to him.”

Alex brushes a hand along his arm. “Who? Your dad?”

Henry nods. “At the time it didn’t seem relevant, or… Well, I guess part of me was scared of how he would take it. And there was so little time left. I never really mustered up the courage, I guess? But… I don’t know.” He bites his lip, willing the tears back. “In the hospital, when he was really sick… It seemed like he was trying to hint at it. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, or maybe he was just confused and disoriented from all the meds and the pain and… I don’t know. But if I could go back in time and change one thing, I think I would’ve told him.”

Alex seems unsure of what to say. He reaches up to place a soft kiss on Henry’s cheek. “I’m sure he would’ve been proud of where you are today.”

Henry nods, forcing a half-hearted smile. “I hope so,” he says. “And to answer your question, yes, I’m keeping the book.”

He closes it, carefully studying the intricate gold writings on the deep blue cover. The memories it holds are far too important to be lost.

[ofmermaidsandmarauders]

just a little preview of my newest fic because I wrote 12k this weekend and don’t even know where that productivity came from. Enjoy xoxo

Thanks to all those in the Jily discord who sent me love and encouragement to write this weekend

Jily famous AU inspired by many lyrics from folklore by Taylor Swift

________________________

“Hi, I’m Lily. Lily Evans, I play Beatrice. Well, Bea. It’s nice to meet you!” Lily greeted their newest guest star. He was set to be in a series of episodes this season, playing a recurring role, and then coming back for the season finale. She reached for a few grapes from the crafty table and placed them into a Styrofoam bowl alongside an orange and some pretzels.

“I know who you are. I’m James Potter. Huge fan of your work! You were incredible last season, I’m really glad they chose me to join season two, even if it’s only for a few episodes. This show is just incredible, but especially your work. Bea is going to get you nominated for a bunch of awards. You’re an amazing actress!” The compliments poured out of James, his hand flying up to smooth down his unruly hair as he realized he had just word-vomited to his favorite actress and celebrity crush. James had never been more grateful that this was a solo project. Without his band here to witness this, he could avoid further embarrassment and bury this memory deep within the recesses of his brain.

Lily let out a soft giggle as her cheeks went hot, reaching up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. 

“Well, that is high praise from one of my favorite bands. Although, I guess you’re just one of four members of the band. Do the rest of them hate me and you just have to offset that hatred by liking my acting so much?” Lily grinned up at him as she moved around him to grab a seltzer from one of the coolers. 

“No, they are all impressed by you as well, but I am definitely your number one fan,” James teased, watching as Lily offered him a seltzer as well, graciously taking it. He wasn’t about to tell her that grapefruit was actually his second least favorite flavor. Not a chance.

“Well, I think that Jason36927 on the Lily Evans Fan Pages may argue you on that, but I’ll accept the high praise. Thank you very much. So now that you’re on the show, does this give me first listening rights to your next album?” Lily was openly flirting with him now, making sure to pop a grape into her mouth in the most seductive way she knew how. Which, she thought, was there really a seductive way to eat a grape? 

“Well, that all depends on how good our scenes are together,” he teased, eyes falling briefly to her lips. The answer was yes, she realized. There was apparently a seductive way to eat a grape, and apparently, she had nailed it.

[alexlabhont]

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you

Chapter Two

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC  (Beck Hughes)

Genre: Canon re-write (Because I can)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really... I think.

I´ll be posting this one over here because Tumblr, for some reason, thinks my secondary blog is a bot...

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

Now, about the PAIRING... I will be using choices style, kinda. If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so... i’m sorry fo the grammar errors

CHAPTERS

The beginning

Chapter one 

ONE-SHOTS

Just a dance (Zoey x MC)

—————————————————————————–

One of their favorite things of all New York experience it's having lunch with Zoey. The girl was funny and interesting and she always had the right conversation to spend time with. Also, she had an incredible taste in music, they both even shared some classes together, working in pair so often that the rest of their classmates just knew they weren't available to them.

So when Beck found out Zoey co-produced the last summer hit, they weren't surprised, what was making some teeny tiny noise in their head was…

“Did you really co-produced Lightning and you didn't tell me?!”

… That.

Beck was impressed, of course. They where proud! That song was one of their personal favorites, so the fact of knowing they were collaborating all this time with such a spectacular talent was an honor.

“To be fair, you never asked” She chuckled.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, Zoey: Hey, my name's Beck, had you ever co-produced a summer hit? Because I haven’t”. Beck ironized. The news were all over The T, and it definitely had to do with a little lunch Zoey managed to have with the same Professor Roberta, making her finally be friends with Beck. “By the way, thank you very much. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Babe, you just bought us a $200 lunch. I think you deserved not to have some teachers bad blood”

“Maybe I did it to be on your good side” Beck winked towards her, making Zoey laugh.

“Such a charmer, aren’t you?” Zoey opened their room door, finally reaching their home. “Careful, Beck. You’re going to make me believe I'm your favorite girl.”

“How says you aren’t?”

“Hum… I don’t know” She tapped her chin with a perfect polished fingernail, pretending to be thinking about it. “Maybe some little bird called Ina Kingsley.

Ow! Low blow

“Ah, gotcha!” Zoey laughed.

“Ok, that’s completely unfair! You know it was one-time thing and we ended whatever that was as soon as we found out we were teacher-student” Which was practically the very next day, by the way… kinda.

“Still… I think you should make it up to me for it.” Oh, that little flirty game between them. Beck was curious about it most of the time. Was it just a joke? Something more? Back at Farmville they never had a friendship relationship like that one, but Zoey was never really clear about the matter neither.

Instead, she always came up with some Ina related topic and it was confusing as fuck. I mean, yeah, they kissed Zoey in front of everyone in that football kiss cam. Beck thought that time that it was very clear they wanted to be more than friends with her. But apparently, she didn't feel the same, so… they won’t be pushing her. Beck would never oblige someone to be into… well… them.

“What can I do? Please tell” They said, playing along with her.

“You're a smart one. I'm sure you’ll find a way to do so.” Damn it, Zoey…

“I already have a few ideas… Scandalous lingerie.” Beck joked some more, a mischievous smile on their lips. “I’m thinking satin sheets, handcuffs, maybe a blindfold…”

“I like this image. You, sprawled out on the mattress, completely at my mercy…” Zoey moved closer to them, trailing her finger up their arm, making them shiver.

“Come on, Zo. Back down already! At least show me something, do something.”

“I might just take you up on that someday.” She said before walking away, teasing them.

“Gwaah!”

Beck hated that. Really, that kind of frustration was no good at all.

“Crap, I'm gonna be late for music theory! This is not good. The prof is a total hardass.”

“Told ya! You should’ve choose professor Liam as I did. You brought this on yourself.”

“And now you’re just an asshole” She said smiling, hitting Beck right on their arm.

“Ouch! Rude…”

“I’ll catch up with you tonight, yeah?”

“It’ a date”

~~X~~

“Are you sure you’re ok, Poppy?” Veronica asked. She looked preoccupied, and she was… But Poppy wasn’t the one in her mind. The blogger was worried for Chloe.

She was number one now, dethroning Poppy so suddenly that it was suspicious, especially knowing the blonde dumb head girl. She adores Poppy since they were kids, Chloe would never betray her, never. But of course, Poppy wouldn’t see that; no, the strawberry blonde was furious, feeling backstabbed, feeling like revenge…

Of course, you couldn´t blame her. She lived all her life between smoke and mirrors.

“Of course I am!” She replied, knotting her white transparent beach dress, covering up a sexy pink bikini. Poppy took a deep breath and accommodated her cleavage so it shows part of her chest, just a little, seductively inviting, but demure enough no to seem made on purpose. She was an expert on it, and she was about to prove her theory right about now. “I´ll take care of that traitor later…” She checked the hour on her phone. She had invited Farmsville to come there around this time. Test number one: They needed to be punctual, no lover –real or fake- of hers is an irresponsible with her time. She had better things to do than waiting around for an asshole. “Now come, Hughes must be here by now”

 “No, I think I’m going to stay right here. Light’s perfect” Poppy rolled her eyes at the way Veronica was trying to find the right angle to make her face look impossible good. She always manages to do so, though.

The strawberry blonde crossed the room, walking through the cabin towards the swimming pool room, she could see Beck there, on time, talking with Michael. Poppy smiled to herself.

“Test passed, Farmsville…”

“… It was built by the Alphas and Zetas as a place to study, party, hook up… Now the only people who come here are - -“

“The people I decide should be here.” She made her entrance.

Test number two: Is Beck into girls? Kissing Zoey didn´t count, Poppy herself had kissed a lot of friends without liking them, she had to prove it herself first hand. So she walked to them with confidence, head up high while moving her hips seductively, attentive to Beck´s every reaction, reading their face, their expressions, the little gulp in their throat, the way their eyes opened wild, checking her out, looking at her boobs…

“Disgusting pervert”

… to her eyes, were Beck fixed their own to stay, always to the face. Beck was trying to be polite, respectful, but the red on their cheeks was exactly the same they had back in the class. They liked what they saw, Poppy knew it. Just to verify, she took a look at the rest of Alphas, who looked away the moment they were discovered. Ugh, gross.

“… but… you have manners. I like it… Second test approved. Well done.”

“Welcome, Farmsville. Let’s discuss our little project, shall we?” An inviting smirk was drawn on Poppy’s lips, willing to test the limits of her new discovery, how much more could she play with Beck today?

“Oh, sure. See ya guys at gym” Beck said, bumping fists and shoulders with the Alphas as if they were good friends. One more of them. For an instant, Poppy found herself wishing they won’t turn Beck into a brainless gorilla. Beck was fine just like already was.

A blonde head caught her eye from behind Beck, saving her of questioning what was that though about because the anger crawled its way up her stomach, keeping her from minding of anything else. “Hold on. What is she doing here?”

The fucking nerve!

The audacity!

Every person in the room was watching Chloe, but nobody had the rage Poppy had. Of course she made them block the entry, how dare she?! After a little scene, that bitch finally went away. To think she considered Chloe her very own best friend! Deep inside, she was hurt, she felt used… The society was right: never to trust anyone, because their always pretending, always faking no matter what they said. Waiting the right moment to strike. That was a mistake she was never going to repeat. Never. She was about to leave, ready to start the project, but of course, Beck was about to ruin her mood one more time.

“That was… pretty rough…” What did they just say? The strawberry girl observed Beck. There was no rest of respect in them, conversely, Beck looked at Poppy as if she was Narnia´s White Witch, what happened to the little lamb look? “I get it if ya’ll are in a fight, but isn’t she supposed to be, like, your best friend?”

God, they were an idiot.

“You´re not here to be my moral compass, Farmsville. Shut the fuck up and walk with me. The rest of you, get out. Now”

Once alone, they both walked slowly around the pool, silence… She didn’t enjoy that. At all. But it was necessary and she couldn´t show any weakness sign to anyone there. Especially not Beck. But… She was now sure of one thing: Beck didn’t care about looks, but actions, or… feelings?

“Have you checked the student ranking today?” She asked, her voice softened. Beck shook their head. They looked at her phone, and after a while…

“Oh boy. Chloe is…”

“Don´t say it…” She was angry, venom caught in her throat, but instead, she let that out like a whisper. A hurt one. She wasn’t faking it, but controlling her emotions on her benefit. Wanting more test, Poppy slipped off her heels and went to sit at the edge of the pool. A moment after, she felt Beck doing the same.

“Bingo”

“It’s just as my parents told me… You don´t have any real friends, Poppy. Just allies. Hmp! Looks like they were right all this time.”

“Poppy, I…” They said, unsure.

“Such a shame.” She stopped him, going back to the anger. “I don’t know who she thinks she is, or who she had to sleep with to knock me out of my spot, but if she thinks this is over she is so wrong. It’s utter betrayal is what it is. That girl is dead to me.” Silence. Was that too soon? Did she got it wrong, again?

“Poppy, you´re too hot to worry about this”

Yes… now they can play.

------

Next

[aseriesofhyperfixation]

“Where are you Dragonfly?” Olaf called out, laughing.  Beatrice crept slowly up behind him, leaping from where she was crouched on the stair railing and slamming into him hard, the two collapsing to the ground in a pile of giggles, “I’m right here, silly!”  “Hey!” Olaf chuckled, spinning around and pinning her to the floor, “Respect your elders!” Shaking her head, Beatrice kicked her legs up and flipped them over, “Stop calling yourself my elder! I’m turning nine in a week and a half.” “And I turned nine three weeks ago, which makes me your elder!” Olaf stood up, extending a hand to her. “Come on Firefly,” Beatrice jumped up beside him, tugging him along behind her, "I’m gonna get in trouble if I don’t get some piano practice in today.” “Aren’t we supposed to be practicing our scene for the play? That’s why we’re here,” He gestured around the theatre. She shrugged, “Well we’re already not practicing that, and you know that we’ll have it all down anyway. We always do. Besides,” She batted her eyelashes at him, “You’re the best piano player I know. Come help me.” “Flattery will get you everywhere,” Olaf followed with a grin, “It’s why we’re best friends.” “Who says we’re best friends?” Beatrice teased, hopping up onto the stair railing and balancing carefully. Olaf stared up at her, wrapping his arms over his stomach, and twisting the little firefly ring that she had made him,  “Bea?” “I’m just kidding,” She jumped back down, pulling him close to her, “You know that you’re my best friend.” And as the children made their way to the piano, Olaf wrapped an arm around her and looked at her earnestly, trying to keep his tone light, “Do you think that we’ll be best friends forever?” Beatrice continued to plunk at the piano keys with one hand, but she entangled the other hand with his, squeezing tightly, “I know we will.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dragonfly, Dragonfly, come in Dragonfly,” Olaf was speaking into his wrist, using his watch as a pretend spy communicator.  “Shh,” Beatrice appeared by his side, whispering to her, and then she lifted her own wrist to use as her own spy communicator, “Here, Firefly, what’s your detail?” He looked around suspiciously and then leaned towards her, “Snake Boy and Gay Baby are near the right position for us to trap them.” Beatrice rolled her eyes, “Those aren’t their code names.” “They are for me,” Olaf chuckled, “Anyway, that’s not the point! Now,do you think you can lead them to the right spot without getting caught?”  “Of course I can! Who do you think you’re talking to?” Beatrice scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder, “Who’s idea was it to sneak them into the theatre to play spies in the first place? I’m a genius, you know that.” “You’re like twelve.” “I’m fourteen, you bitch!” She smacked him hard on the arm, but laughed and dropped her voice, remembering that she had to be quiet, “You know that we’re the same age.” Olaf shrugged, “We all know that I’m not the smart one,” And then he brushed back the strands of hair that had fallen back into her face, “Actually, fourteen suits you. Seems like a nice age for you to be. But you should try tying your hair up, like B & L do. It must make you half blind.” Beatrice laughed, “Doesn’t really seem like my thing. I only tie it up for shows. But you’re right, I should find a way to keep it out of my face a little better. Maybe I should cut it short.”  “But then what can I drag you around with?” Olaf gave her hair a playful tug, “No, actually, I’m sure that would look nice. You always look nice, Bea.” Beatrice smirked, “But not as nice as K, right?”   “That doesn’t count,” Olaf tried to ignore the blush that was beginning to spread over his features, “There’s a huge difference between you looking nice and K looking nice.”  “Why?” “Because K is a girl! And you’re, uh,” He broke off, shrinking under her glare, “You’re Beatrice! I know you’re a girl, I get it, but you’re not a girl girl like Kit is. You’re my best friend. You shoved my face into a mud pit once because I took a grape without asking. I broke your nose on accident when we were supposed to do  a stage kiss because I got too nervous and smacked you. You’re not, I mean, it’s not the-” “I know,” Beatrice laughed, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “I get it, you’ve got a crush, and I’m not gonna stop teasing you about it, because that’s a best friend’s job. Now, I’m going to lead them to the piano, and you get ready to slam it shut.” Their mission of trapping their friends in the piano actually went fairly well, the two children trying their absolute hardest to win this game of spies.  The issue? Beatrice got locked inside the piano along with them.  Olaf had slammed the piano shut, locking it, and turned to high five his teammate, “Beatrice? Where are you?” “Goddammit,” A muffled voice complained, “They pulled me in with them!”  Cackling, Olaf sunk to the ground, “Are you serious? Oh my god!” “Does this mean we win too?” M asked, his voice also muffled.  “No,” B calmly tapped on the piano, wondering if he could play from the inside, “We only have one member of their team, and they’ve got too members of us. And anyway, I don’t think someone really counts as a hostage if they’re stranded along with the people that claim to be their captors.” “Who cares?” Beatrice knocked hard on the lid of the piano, “Let us out, you big Firefly dummy! God, we’re so bad at taking hostages.” “I’ll just have to practice abducting people,” Olaf laughed some more, “I’ll let you out in a minute, but first, I have got to take a picture of this.” “I want a copy!” M called out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Dragonfly,” Olaf appeared, out of the shadows, next to Beatrice, “How are you?” “I’m pretty good,” Beatrice swept her hair back, “But how are you? What’s going on? Is everything okay?” “Everything’s great,” Olaf broke out in a grin, wanting to grab her and hug her as tightly as possible, but instead he pulled the box of darts out from behind his back and handed it to her, “You wanna play?” She beamed, accepting them and looking gleefully into the box, “God, I’ve missed this place, missed this stage. Do you remember how excited we were when they put the dart board backstage? Do you remember how much time we spent playing here?” “I do,” He took one of the darts himself, weighing it in his hands for a moment before throwing it at the board, veering just to the left of a bullseye, “That’s why I wanted to be here, to ask you what I have to ask you.” Beatrice threw one herself, hitting the bullseye easily and smiling at the low and appreciative whistle that Olaf gave her, going quickly to retrieve the darts they’d thrown, “And what, exactly, is it that you have to ask me?”

“Well,” He bounced on the balls of his feet, and then paused, “Actually, I have a gift for you first,” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a smaller box, handing it to her gently. She examined the box, reading the scrawls of silly things they’d said to each other over the years that he had written on the sides, and she opened it to see the most beautiful dart she had ever laid eyes on. It was small, the end incredibly sharp, but it was also inlaid with gems, and fine wings branches out from either side. “It’s a dragonfly,” She breathed, running her fingers over it carefully. “Check this out,” Olaf took it from her gently and pressed one of the gems that sat in the middle of the wings, and as he pushed it, the wings-which were in an up position-flapped downwards, and the head of the dart withdrew inwards, the nib of a pen coming out in its place, “Isn’t that awesome? It’s supposed to be a play on the saying ‘The pen is mightier than the sword,’ because, y’know, it’s kinda both. I mean I know a dart and a sword aren’t the same thing, but it’s still just-“ “I love it,” Beatrice cut off his rambling, looking up at him with a gleam in her eyes, “I love it so much. Thank you, O. Firefly. Thank you.” Olaf puffed his chest out proudly, “Well, y’know, just doing what has to be done. Now,” He softened again, his face growing anxious once more, “Listen, Beatrice, K and I have been together for a long time, and I just, I really love her, so much more than I thought you could really be in love with a person. So I asked her to marry me.” Beatrice covered her mouth with her hands, feeling herself start to tear up at the thought of two of her favorite people in the world getting married, “That’s so amazing! Oh, I’m so proud of you!” “Thank you,” He shook his head a little, chuckling, “I’m still having trouble believing that we’re really engaged. But that beings me to my question. Beatrice Baudelaire,” He dropped to one knee, holding out the tiny firefly ring that she had given him when he had turned nine, her promise that they’d be friends forever, that he now wore on a necklace chain around his neck as it had grown too small for his fingers, “Will you be my best man?” Almost shrieking, she took the ring from his hand and looped its string around her neck happily, “Of course I will! I can’t believe this, I mean,” She paused to giggle, “I’m not even a man, but somehow I’m still the best one! Why didn’t you ask J?” Olaf shrugged, pulling her into a tight hug, “I love J, you know that, but he’s not my best friend in the world. Not like you. And besides, K already best me to the punch. She asked him to give her away. Pressing the gem on her new dart pen carefully, Beatrice threw the dragonfly and watched as it seemed to fly across the room to the board, “Well, that sucks for him. I’ll be the best best man who ever was.” “God, you’re so good at that,” Olaf muttered as he watched the dart hit squarely on the bullseye, “Anyway, I know you will. And just so you know, you don’t have to wear a suit or anything, just because you’re the best man. I mean, you can if you want, you can wear anything you want. I just want you to know there’s no obligations.” “What If I want to wear dragonfly wings?” Beatrice’s eyes sparkled, “Dragonfly wings that really fly.” “I’d love that,” Olaf turned and examined the poster behind them, “Hey, have you seen this?” “What is it?” He peeled the audition announcement off the wall and handed it to her, “There are auditions for La Forza Del Destino this weekend. You should audition! We never get to see each other anymore, and we haven’t been able to be in this theatre in forever. I would love to come watch you in it.” “You should audition too!” Beatrice showed him the audition slots open, “We could go back to back.” “I’d love to, but that may have to wait for the next play. I need to avoid as much bad luck as I can until after I get married,” He smiled warmly at her, “But I’d be right there, every night, cheering you on. I bet my parents would come too, you know they adore you. You really should audition.” Beatrice wrapped herself into a hug with her best friend, trying to ignore the great sense of sadness and doom that was flooding through her, “You know what? Maybe I will.”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Beatrice and Merula for the character asks

Two of my favorites! This is going to be fun! 

(Merula)

Luca:

I’ve never met another human being who has given me quite as many headaches as Merula Snyde, and somehow I wouldn’t give up a single one of them. In the early days, she insisted on competing with me and even trying to hurt me and my friends. Her insecurity was pretty transparent, so it wasn’t like I didn’t understand...still, I kept finding myself asking the question of why, if she refused to be my friend, did she still insist on talking to me all the time? It was a bit more complicated than that, of course. Her feelings for me are...complex, and the same is true on my end. It doesn’t help that she’s weirdly good-looking, in a way that takes a while to notice...my journey with Merula probably says a lot about who I am, because I went from ignoring her, to caring pretty strongly about her....to tackling Rakepick for what she did in the Underground Vault. I haven’t told anyone this but Merula’s suffering has changed my boggart ever since that night. I know she’s aggressive and self-centered, I know her problems...but I don’t care. She’s not the first person I’ve met who show-boats and lashes out to hide that they’re hurting...and I never gave up on Jacob either. My friends don’t understand why I spend so much time with her, or else they think it has to do with the Vaults. But lately I tend to see Merula as part of my group of friends. It’s a slow thing but I think she’s starting to become a true member of the gang ,and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Weasley-Adoptee: 

Merula is an interesting character but I don’t really have much to say about her, like she’s okay I guess? But still, I-(cue my bag falling and all my old posts spilling out) Oh geez, that’s nothing, I-(trips over all the “bae!” posts I’ve made) Um look I can explain-(my MC/Merula, enemies to lovers posts start falling from the sky.) UGH OKAY I ADMIT IT. I’m total trash for this character. Yes, I am in that part of the fandom. So if you’re a Merula-Anti you are entirely welcome on my blog but be forewarned, my posts might frustrate you. But Merula is easily one of my favorite characters. She’s complex and interesting and I cannot help but feel for her. She has an adorable design and her integration into the story and side-quests is always fun to watch. And hey, you don’t have to be an MC/Merula shipper, but their dynamic is just too precious for words. Like Luca, I’m a total rescuer at heart, so how could I not want to rescue this lonely cat? In the beginning, the only thing I really had to say about Merula was “No, she’s clearly not a discount Draco, why does everyone keep saying that?” Cause like...it may have taken a while for her to be developed beyond just being a rival, but right from the start we knew her parents were in Azkaban. Basically the polar opposite of Draco’s privileged upbringing. Draco genuinely thought he was hot shit, Merula simply tried very hard to pretend that was true, but it was clear that she didn’t really believe it. By the time we got the first Christmas TLSQ and that incredible song-book scene (Be still my heart) I was a major fan. Then we had lines like Merula saying that she enjoys sparring with MC during the Celestial Ball and I just can’t even. I will never stop stanning the best witch at hogwarts.

(Beatrice) 

Luca: 

“You know how sometimes you’re aware that a person exists well before you know them, and you get this idea in your head of what they’re like? But then you meet them and they’re entirely different? Well, Beatrice is kind of like that but on a delay. I was expecting Tiny-Penny, and I was not wrong. But that’s kind of on me as well, and knowing how much people expect me to be just like Jacob...I can understand why that perception might be frustrating for her now. Look, I don’t care if she’s doing a whole goth style now. I don’t care if she wants to hang out with Ismelda...I mean, she’s basically harmless anyway. But Beatrice can’t start neglecting her makeup exams or putting herself in dangerous situations...I realize what a hypocrite I am for saying that, but I don’t especially care. Penny is family to me, and that means Beatrice is family to. And while I’m not planning to let the Vaults claim my life...I would die before I let something happen to her. Not that I don’t get where she’s coming from because I do, but she can work through her pain without putting herself in a position to deal with more. I don’t think either Beatrice or her sister realize what the other went through and I don’t know how to help both of them see it.”

Weasley-Adoptee:

Considering that there’s a very common tag on my blog that goes “Beatrice Haywood Defense Squad” I think you can safely guess where I fall on this character. I have a number of strong feelings about Bea’s struggle and how it reflects her character, other characters, and the Potterverse as a whole. I’ve already rambled quite a lot but you’ve got to understand - I will never find her annoying or blame her for the way she treats Penny and anyone else. She lost a year of her life to that Portrait World and we still don’t know what it was like for her because no one fucking asks. Sorry, that’s just....that still drives me crazy. But I honestly do like the deconstruction of not only how trauma can work, complete with loved ones who don’t get it and think the problem is just over after you’re physically safe...to the deconstruction of what people have been saying for years - the Potterverse adults are horridly incompetent. Sure, obviously we all love McGonagall and Flitwick but....D u m b l e d o r e ....sorry, this isn’t about him. I genuinely like how Beatrice reacts to all this and she absolutely does have a point. After losing a year of her life to the Vaults, why shouldn’t she be allowed to investigate? It’s not like children don’t do all the work in these stories anyway. She’s older than MC was when they started poking around. I totally understand why Penny is worried about her and she has every right to be...but she just doesn’t know how to get through to Beatrice right now. Otherwise, a lot of little things make me adore her - from her friendship with Ismelda which makes perfect sense, to her adorable crush on Jae, to her freaking awesome re-design (Seriously Jam City, we better get a second chance to get that outfit) to the fact that she’s apparently just as tall as MC.

Send a HPHM character to my ask box and get both my and my muse’s feelings on that character!

[whoslaurapalmer]

for the directors cut thingy what are you doing the rest of your life? this is one of if not my most favorite warm fuzzy lemonberryice fic so any part of it you want to talk about, but especially the bit starting with “‘I wouldn’t run,’ I said. ‘And I will thank you not to point out my previous track record of doing just that’”

thank you!!!!!!! also, true to form, this is, so long, cause i just did the whole thing. what else would i do. the tl;dr of it all is that when i write fic, i am always thinking about writing structure and individual characterization and what the point of any given story is above all else, and that consumes a lot of brain power. and that you could give me any line in a fic and i will have an incredibly specific anecdote for it. 

the first lemonberry ice i wrote!! what a time. i specifically tagged it as ‘very little angst and no one dies!!!’ because i’d just posted beatrice like. three months before??? and i said to myself ‘hmm. i don’t want people to think all i can write is angst......’ so i wanted the fic to be like, look! nothing bad happens here this time!! it’s all good!!!!!!!!! and i had wanted to write something happy!! i like fluff a lot!! 

like bertrand, i was also searching for the right sinatra song for this fic. if it isn’t obvious, by now, three years later, i love sinatra a lot. on my previous laptop, the file for this fic was still titled after the first song the fic was supposed to be about, but when i backed up everything in googledrive i titled it properly, so the file name is the proper one now, but i’m, 99% sure the original song was i get a kick out of you (specifically this super jazzy one, not the one with the opener, it’s slower and doesn’t sound the same). but LIKE WITH EVERY CHOICE I MAKE IN A FIC i wasn’t sure it really captured what the fic was about. especially the “you obviously don’t adore me” line, because the fic was certainly more upbeat than that. so i dug around on youtube for one i thought fit better and found what are you doing the rest of your life. for three people, living such turbulent and unpredictable lives, to hear this song about always wanting to be there, for everything, no matter what it is, and for the rest of their lives, to admit that’s possible............ i couldn’t find a recording of young!sinatra singing it, though, which bummed me out a little. nothing wrong with old!sinatra, but you can start to hear more of the.....age his voice, you know? 

since this was 2017, only the first netflix season was out, and we all still had such high hopes for it, and i sure did, and tito puente was mentioned in miserable mill and because s1 was so good i didn’t mind making a couple references to it because EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL, and i just wound up sticking him in beatrice and what are you doing the rest of your life because his music was great and it was a fun callback! simpler times indeed........

my main goal with the fic was, i think, to try and figure out how i thought the three of them worked in a relationship, since it was my first time writing them. which is why there’s really specific lines like, “A year had gone by and I still wasn’t used to how free Bertrand was with his affection.” and “I grinned, because after all this time I knew when she was kidding. Beatrice’s razor-sharp wit, and the touches of playfulness behind it, was one of my favorite things about her.” they’re lines that i still think are absolutely in character for lemony, and i probably wouldn’t change them if i wrote it now, but i do feel they’re a little too, on point. or not on point, just.....obvious. like, not only did the lines have to make sense in the style, but they had to make sense, for me, as i was writing, as i was trying to figure out their characters and what would show lemony’s nerves alongside bea and bertrand’s habits and their relationship as a whole, and that’s a lot to try and do

“‘Sonnets,’ I said. ‘Beatrice will write sonnets.’” truly. i am truly haunted by this line now. it will keep me up at night. 

oh boy, that section is. a lot. i gotta go through the whole thing. i do. 

“I wouldn’t run,” I said. “And I will thank you not to point out my previous track record of doing just that, because they were all for relatively legitimate reasons.” I liked to think that I wouldn’t do it again, if the sort of situation arose where it was something I had to consider. (i think every writer in this fandom will admit that one of the hardest things to do, when writing a happy fic, is trying to find the line between, ‘i cannot avoid the legit canon events that have happened to these characters and turned them into the people they are, and i need to address that, no matter what i’m doing’ and ‘i want them to be happy and they deserve it’ and i think that’s a lot of what this section is. referencing how in canon lemony runs to not necessarily avoid his problems, but also, mainly, i think, because he believes 1) that’s the only way to protect the people he cares about and 2) that they’re better off without him, and how there’s definitely a gap between him leaving stain’d-by-the-sea and returning to the city, where anything happened, that counts as ‘leaving,’ and it was also supposed to reference one of the giant fics i was working on at the time, where the climax was, of course, and like any good slow burn fic, a misunderstanding that involved lemony leaving before reconciling with bea and bertrand. this fic would’ve taken place after it.) I liked to think that marriage wasn’t one of those things, because it was something I genuinely wanted. (2017!me had no idea what 2019!me would do......) But the uncertainties of the world sometimes made even that lovely thing seem so far out of my grasp that, if I was honest with myself, I had considered slipping away into the night so that I wouldn’t ruin anything else. It was an upsetting thing to think, but I had thought of it as much as I had thought about those musical numbers. (i still think about that, sometimes. lemony and bertrand, proposing like true theater nerds.) 

Bertrand looked out over the water. “Do you think I’m not scared too, Lemony? About the things we do, the positions we put ourselves in, whether this assignment or the next one will be the one that takes one of you away from us?” (my mental checklist of things i write include ‘lulu, is there a moment in the fic where like, The Point Of The Fic Is Made,’ like the moment where it all comes together and, this is what the fic was For an What It’s Supposed To Say, and that’s what this scene was for, and it’s definitely in what bertrand’s saying here.) (but because it’s 2017, like some of the earlier lines, i feel as if The Point is Too On Point. but it’s something i still struggle with, even now.) (it’s still important for bertrand to say it, though.....) 

“No,” I said. “I’m not that much of a fool to think that my fears aren’t universal.”

“Sometimes you act like you do,” Bertrand said quietly. “And I am under no delusion that our feelings for each other will fix any or all of our problems. But they can be a little easier to deal with that way, when you know you aren’t alone. You know that, don’t you?” (i had a lot of characterization notes around this fic (and the giant fic i was writing) since i was, again, just writing them and trying to figure out how they all worked, so i had a little list of like, what each of them do for the other, and parts of it were “bertrand prevents beatrice and lemony from being too dramatic, bertrand prevents lemony from being too self-deprecating, lemony allows bertrand to feel less self-conscious (and probably less worried because bertrand knows someone else shares his terrible anxieties)” and there are things i write differently now, because i’ve been at it for a while, but it was important for me to figure out how they connected with each other and....not what they offered each other, and certainly not how they fixed each other, but how each of them lessened certain canon elements that would make their relationship go differently. because again all my lemonberry ice fics (with the exception of the letter) are written from a standpoint where they would rewrite canon, especially this one. anyway, that’s.....that’s what that dialogue was supposed to do. when all three of them are together, they’re capable of being that support for each other and evening each other out.) 

I wanted very much to believe that, but every time Beatrice or Bertrand said it, it never seemed to sink in the way it should. It is one thing to love someone, or multiple someones, to love them so much you often can’t think of anything else, but another thing to trust them and the things they say and yourself, especially when you live the kind of lives that we lived. (i hate to keep bringing up years i know it’s like. weird but it’s how i sort where my brain was, and 2017 was a great year for analysis in this fandom and i don’t remember who exactly had brought up, that lemony sees a difference between love and trust, especially after ellington (he loved her but he didn’t trust her), and that’s something that’s so true that i’ve never forgotten and that gets brought up in other fics too (bea in the letter loving lemony but not trusting him.....). there are certain headcanons, of my own and of others, that i tend to just get, attached to, so they just. keep. happening.) Perhaps I did forget about it sometimes, the terrible recklessness with which Beatrice occasionally acted, how Bertrand tended to be much too quiet at times, the things all of us did when we forgot we weren’t alone. (yet another ‘line that has to work in the narrative and Say The Point’ because that really is a big thing in how i structure stories. i feel like it’s so necessary for there to BE a point to each thing i write, ESPECIALLY in shorter pieces, otherwise, why???????? and you know what, i need to be less strict about that, really.) The three of us were not perfect people, not by any means, but three imperfect people doing what they can for each other in a turbulent world is sometimes better than three perfect people going through life without a care about anything else. (i rewrote this line a few times, but it’s one of my favorites. this fic really has aged well, especially with lemony’s narration, this line in particular.) 

I squeezed Bertrand’s hand and didn’t say anything more.

speaking of lemony’s whole love vs. trust thing and my rewriting, i tend to keep most of what i cut out of a fic, especially while i’m trying to figure out a certain line (although sometimes i’ll just rewrite over it and then it’s lost to time), and the file has my original attempts for this scene, which still had some good lines -- 

I think it is a universally accepted truth that if you love someone, you trust them, in one way or another, but I have never felt that way. there have been quite a few people whom I loved a great deal but didn’t trust them, or people that I knew I could trust to act a certain way but certainly didn’t love at all. I believe it comes with the sort of upbringing that involves a great deal of suspicion for even the people around you.

the circumstances around you meeting them. but sometimes also because of the things they do. or you can not love someone at all and trust them, because you know them to be a horrible person and trust that they will continue to act in horrible ways, and that at the bottom of every root beer float you drink in their presence there will be a small collection of thumbtacks.

bertrand looked out over the water. “we love you very much, lemony,” he said, “and I don’t expect that to fix any or all of our problems. but do you trust that we feel that way?”

I did. or I wanted to. the thing about trust is that it is a very difficult thing, and as much as I wanted to spend the rest of my life between the two of them, the amount of uncertainty I felt about myself and our lives and even about that uncertainty was a heavy thing.

“what if it’s not enough?”

“maybe it’s not,” bertrand admitted. “but it’s good enough.”

“‘Hey, hey!’ Beatrice said, snatching the plate from him. ‘Don’t be like that with the good plates.’” still one of my favorite actions. still makes me laugh, even though now i think bea would be the one to be reckless with dishware. 

and beatrice talking about their apartment being too small for children is a top favorite fic ending. i love her. so much. 

[thecultoffilm-blog]

IT (2017) Review.

I had been excited for the new adaptation of IT since I first saw that iconic picture of Pennywise, grinning creepily with pleasure and contempt. I couldnt wait for it. When the first trailers dropped it got me even more hyped and excited to see what Muschietti would bring to the table, as I was unimpressed with the miniseries. Today I saw IT, and have to say am fairly underwhelmed by it. What I hoped would be a thrilling, scary and atmospheric horror film was an oddly edited, cliche and predictable film. Over this review I will be talking about what works, what doesnt, what I loved and what I hated and finally, an overall score out of 10. Please remember this is all opinionated and very personal, rather than a group opinion. What I loved: Personally the best part of the film for me was the losers club. Not only were all very well performed and gave off a very real and serious vibe, the children acted like children, a rare occurrence in many modern films. The kids throughout this movie are swearing, making your mum jokes and mentioning dick size, like a kid would. Muschietti really nailed this side of the spectrum and due to the great performances by all the children and realistic and relatable behaviour, I found myself really enjoying the club, far more than I thought I would. Another thing I thoroughly enjoyed was the coming of age theme throughout. I really liked this and thought it really added to the story. In a way Pennywise could be a metaphor for all the problems and hard times these kids are facing, and them dealing with him is them working together to beat their daily problems. It may seem stereotypical but I thought it was sweet to see the club grow and learn in such a small amount of time, all of them facing their fears and issues (some more literally than others) Im glad the story wasnt just, "oh look, there's an evil clown who is hurting people, let's go beat him up," as for me this would have made the film flat and uninteresting. I'm very glad it was included and felt it really added to the film. Pennywise is a weird one. I thought he worked at points but at others I just hated him. Saying that, he definitely had far more good scenes than bad but I still just felt unimpressed at his character. It wasn't even Bill's fault, it was just the look and feel to him in general. Again, sometimes he was incredible but sometimes he felt to comedic and cartoon like. Overall though, he was a very strong character and I did enjoy when he was on screen (most of the time) The cinematography in this film in my personal opinion was beautiful. So many scenes were shot so well. Muschietti made sure to use locations and places to their full effect and it shows. The shots used also fit in with the scene. For example when outside in the day the shots were wide and vast, showing off the beauty of Derry or the quarry. However when inside a location it felt claustrophobic and cramped, adding to the intensity and fear of the scene. The lighting was also on point. When in a dark room it felt eerie and as an audience member I felt blind but at the same time little details and important features were clear and visible. When outside the lighting felt very true to life without blinding you of course. Both lighting and the cinematography were very well done and should be applauded. The sound design in the film really sold it for me. Most of my fear produced actually came from the sound rather than whatever else was going on. One scene which I will never forget is Pennywise exiting the cupboard. It really did chill me. But the main reason for doing so is him tapping his long, gloved fingers on the side of the box. It was genuinelly terrifying. The sound was perfectly managed, sounds in the foreground were loud and violent whilst little ones in the back were small and hard to pick up, but the amount it added to the atmosphere was great. I'm very glad the sound was well done and pin pointed in just the right settings and times as it really added to the film for me anyway. What I didn't like: To me, the jumpscares in this film were terrible. I hoped to every possible god that all the jumpscares would be fair and needed. Alas, this is not the case. Thankfully, IT didn't stoop to the level of the classic "it's just a ....." jumpscare but far to mamy were predictable and dull. There were pointless loud noises and violins squealing at me from the screen and a lot of the scares were cheap and commonly used in Hollywood films. There were probably 7 scares which I predicted and out of all of them in total, only a few made me jump. Which isn't great. One thing that really annoyed me was Georgie's walkie talkie screeching whenever he ran by. Stuff like that is what ruined this film. Yes, it is better than a loud bang or smash, but still. I could do better and I've never made a film. It really did upset me as I do love a good jumpscare, but there were very few to be found. As much as I did love them, the kids in the film made such stupid and contradictory decisions. It really got to me. They would constantly wonder off by themselves after all being told not to and it was so annoying to watch. Even Bill, who said to them all countless times to stick together decides to walk away from the group. You could argue that this is Pennywise luring them away with his powers but I personally believe it's a dull way to create another cheap scare. Another thing they all do is the classic, "let me go in this dark room, nothing could go wrong" This is just so pathetic. For example the library scene with Ben. No one would ever follow those eggs and go down there. It felt wrong and fake, exactly the opposite of what this film wanted and was meant to be. I do see why it was needed, but there were far better ways to lure the characters. Pennywise, as mentioned above, did work. But there were so many instances where he didn't. And what does it all come down to? CGI. What ruined him for me was the large amount of CGI that went into the film. I understand that it's nessecary and in some ways it did help, but it sucked any amount of realism out of the film. What does this result in? A lack of tension and fear. For me, the more realistic, the more scary. That's why for me, The Strangers is the scariest horror of all times. It was so real and plausible that it made it far more intimidating simply due to how it was handled and filmed. No CGI, no demons or ghosts. Just 3 insane people trying to murder a couple. It sounds basic but it is so much more scary than IT. For example, the garage scene was so poorly created it nearly made me laugh at how conical Pennywise looked. It just didn't work for me. I do understand it's hard to create a film like this without using it, but I believe that more practical effects could and should have been used. Even if that had meant making it less extravagant. One thing I enjoyed about the miniseries is that it seemed more real because there was no (or very little) special effects or features. This made it feel more real, and in turn, added to the danger and intensity. I wish this interpretation had done the same. The editing was so odd in this film. It went from happy to sad to scary in seconds. It felt misguided and oddly created. A good example is the basement scene. It goes from Pennywise screaming and trying to kill Bill to Bev sat on a staircase in the sun, content and happy. This breaks the tension with ease. Whats even weirder is that it never show the aftermath of the scene, Bill's reaction or thoughts are never shown, it just stops. It's almost like a scene was cut. It felt wrong and misplaced. I understand in some aspects why what was done but still, it felt so strange. Many scenes felt cut and half completed, some seem to short and others to long. The best word for it would have to be inconsistent. I really enjoyed some of the editing, but disliked others. The kiss scene. Is dreadful. This is not a fairy tale world. This is a world where a young boy has his arm ripped off and is pulled into a sewer. Magical kisses do not tie in well with that sort of theme. This infruriated me. Genuinelly. I don't understand. It wasn't to develop character or even a relationship, it wasn't to advance the plot, it didn't add anything to the story. It took away from it. What seemed so real was whisked away in seconds. Was it meant to show that the underdog can always succeed or help others? I for one, am clueless. It really did disappoint me. Am I supposed to believe that a kiss from a random boy can wake up a girl who has been affected by the deadlights? It was so random and wrong. It felt like it had been ripped straight from Disney and plonked straight into the film to add to it's character and charm. It didn't work. At all. And it really did spoil the film. It was cheesy, unasked for and laughable. I still can't think of any reason for including it. My final complaint is the end scene. The final fight. For a start, I'm glad it wasn't long and drawn out over 20 minutes. It would have become boring. But it felt so odd. How Pennywise just collapsed to the floor and started to deteriorate. Again, the end scene reminded me heavily of a Disney film. "We beat you out of love and teamwork." That sort of thing. I understand what they were going for, and it was a sweet ending but it felt wrong to put it in a film like this. What happened to the battery acid? That was great and it made sense. But instead we get the classic fall to his "death" scene. I'm glad they all conquered their fears and I'm glad that they could beat their common enemy but it could have been made far less lovey dovey in my personal opinion. I get that it was to make the audience feel and perhaps even relate but to me this fell very flat. Another issue regarding the scene is Bev. I do understand that sexual abuse must be a horrifying thing do deal with but the fact that Pennywise didn't scare her is dumb. He is the true manifestation of any fear, a monster, a beast. Yet she isn't afraid? Again I know that the whole overcoming her fear had to be included but it was fairly annoying to see that she wasn't bothered even in the slightest. It may seem like nitpicking, but I cared about the film a lot and some bits and pieces made little sense to me, regardless of what the general public say. Overall: IT is not a bad film. It's not incredible, but far from bad. It had it's scary moments and ideas and the film is certainly not for the weak hearted. Themes and ideas are shoehorned in nicely and darker topics are presented in a careful and appealing light. Performances all round are great from everyone, especially the losers club. Pennywise is an intimidating villain throughout and never fails to either disturb or creep you out. It does have it's flaws, but as does any film, and it is impossible to say that IT is not an entertaining film. Even if I wouldn't class it as a true horror it is very amusing and fun to watch in pretty much any situation and I would recommend it if you're ever bored or have nothing to do. Unfortunately I didn't feel it lived up to it's hype but hopefully chapter 2 may be able to improve and evolve from that. I didn't watch the film I was expecting and hoping to see, but it did work and it did achieve it's goal; to entertain, and entertain it did. Overall score: 6/10 Best shot?: The best shot of this film for me is when Georgie attempts to crawl away from Pennywise, his arm bleeding and him crying. IT's inhumanely long arm appears from the drain and we know it's all over for poor little Georgie. So harrowing, but so good.

[one-of-us-blog]

A Piece of Cake (TGG, Season 2, Episode 25)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap A Piece of Cake, Episode 25 of the second season of The Golden Girls.  Will this episode be a pleasant surprise, or a sad reminder that our best days are behind us?  Keep reading to find out…

Jon, it delights me that you enjoyed The Unicorn and the Wasp so much!  It’s always (okay, usually) fun when a historical character makes an appearance in Doctor Who, and Agatha Christie was a perfect addition to a murder mystery.  It was also pretty cool that both of our last episodes dealt with jewel thieves!  I’m really excited to get your thoughts on the next two-part story, and especially a new character we meet.  But for now…

Let’s head to Miami!

Episode written by Kathy Speer, Terry Grossman, Mort Nathan, and Barry Fanaro, directed by Terry Hughes

As the episode opens, Blanche is busily preparing hors d’oeuvres, and everyone is getting ready to throw a party.  Specifically, the gals are throwing an 88th birthday bash for someone named Roberta, who we all obviously remember fondly from her many past appearances on the show.  Unfortunately, Sophia has forgotten that it was her job to bake a birthday cake, and she has only 45 minutes left to complete the task.  She gets right to work, while the rest of the crew begins to reminisce about a surprise party that Rose planned for Dorothy years prior.  Do you know what that means?  That’s right, time to buckle up for a flashback episode!

In our first flashback, Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche are all hanging at Mr. Ha-Ha’s Hot Dog Hacienda, while a clown on stage (Mr. Ha-Ha himself) entertains the audience of mostly children.  Rose is probably more entertained than anyone but Dorothy does not appear to be amused; I mean, she hasn’t even touched her Ha-Ha Dog!  We learn that Rose was in charge of planning a birthday outing for Dorothy, and this is what she came up with.  After some pointed scowling from her friend, Rose realizes she done goofed up, and she clearly feels terrible.  Dorothy comforts her to stop the tears, but her newfound goodwill is quickly vanquished when she is called on stage by Mr. Ha-Ha for the Birthday Roundup.  After the brief choking of Rose and some encouraging chanting from the children present, Dorothy relents and moves to the stage, where she learns that due to the fact she is the oldest Birthday Child, she gets to wear a special hat and lead the birthday parade!  Following this indignity she doesn’t feel much like eating her Ha-Ha Hot Fudge Cake, and Mr. Ha-Ha decides to publicly call her out for being a downer.  She refrains from putting her hot fudge cake right in his face due to fear of litigation, but thankfully little Bobby plants his own cake in the clown’s face as a birthday gift to Dorothy.  Bless you, little Bobby (Fun fact: Though this flashback is an original scene not previously included in any episode, it is also later included as a flashback scene in a clip show much further down the road, which I only know because I randomly saw it on television recently).

Back in the kitchen, Sophia is busy baking cake, and equally busy drinking rum.  That’s my kind of recipe!  We pause only a moment though until Rose leads us to our next flashback, in which she remembers the last cake she baked in St. Olaf…

Guess what?  WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE ST. OLAF!  Well, we at least get to see Rose and Charlie’s kitchen.  Rose has been baking a cake for someone, and we sadly soon realize that she has baked it for herself.  She even goes through the steps of “surprising” herself, exiting the kitchen and re-entering.  She plays along with her own fantasy, talking to Charlie (who isn’t actually there) all the while, and we quickly piece together that this scene takes place after her husband has passed away.  It’s a very sad scene, but as it progresses we also learn that Rose has finally accepted that her husband is gone, even if she wants to talk to him again.  And she particularly wants to talk to him on her birthday, when he can’t be upset with her; we don’t want a haunting on our hands!  Rose has decided to see their house and move.  She loves St. Olaf (as we definitely know by now), but the home has too many memories and she feels the need to start over.  And hey, according to a Will Smith song from the future, apparently Miami is a bangin’ place to be!  She assures Ghost Charlie that he will always be with her (contained within a mystical amulet, I assume), and digs into her cake.

Jumping back to the kitchen, we discover that Sophia’s rum-fueled baking is getting just a bit out of control.  Dorothy is now attempting to recite the tale of her mother’s 50th birthday, but Sophia insists that her daughter leave the storytelling, much like the baking, to her.  Picture this!  Brooklyn, 1956…

We find ourselves in a Brooklyn apartment, and a much younger-looking Sophia (still portrayed by Estelle Getty) is in the process of fighting with her husband Salvadore, who remains off-screen.  A much younger-looking Dorothy (portrayed by some imposter) is also present, trying to smooth over the parental dispute and get her mother to come to a birthday celebration.  We learn that the root of the conflict is the fact that Sophia believed herself to be turning 48; that is, until her husband pointed out an error on her immigration paperwork that means she is really turning 50.  Just like that, she feels that two years of her life have been stolen.  She had dreams, you know!  She could have been somebody!  Dorothy tells her that she has, in fact, accomplished a lot, and proceeds to deliver a pep talk about everything Sophia has done and sacrificed for her family.  Salvadore also delivers some sweet talk (sort of) from the off-screen bedroom, and before you know it Sophia is sending Dorothy ahead of her so she can have a couple hours of make-up “alone time” with her husband.

In the kitchen once again, Sophia reveals that she never did make it to that party, though her husband still had a pretty great time.  Surprise party preparations are still ongoing for Roberta, but Blanche declares that nobody is ever actually surprised by a party.  Rose disagrees, citing the example of a party she and Dorothy threw for Blanche shortly after they moved in…

In our final flashback, Dorothy returns to the kitchen with a birthday cake for Blanche, only to discover that Rose has been baking a cake for Blanche herself.  The duo is getting ready to throw a surprise party for their new housemate.  Sophia also arrives, leaving “the home” despite her ongoing recovery from a stroke (you know, the one that removed her verbal filter and her morality core).  Dorothy sends her to join the other party members on the lanai, after being asked to explain what exactly a lanai is.  Blanche then arrives home from work in a terrible mood.  Her coworkers threw a surprise party for her, and Blanche hates surprise parties; they make her want to throw up!  Birthdays are just a reminder of the constant march of time and the inevitability of lost youth!  Dorothy and Rose attempt to cancel their plans, but Sophia pops back in the house and lets the cat out of the bag.  Thankfully for Blanche, we learn that the party guests consist only of eager gentlemen suitors; it seems that Rose invited everyone in Blanche’s little black book.  This unexpected development raises Blanche’s spirits quite a bit!  LET THE BIRTHDAY SPANKINGS BEGIN!

Returning to the present one last time, Blanche recalls that particular birthday quite fondly.  Rose tries to fire up a St. Olaf story, but the cake is finished and the others use this opportunity to cut her off.  The cake leaves a little something to be desired, but at least Sophia had a good time baking it.  The gals relocate to the living room to wait for Roberta, where…SURPRISE!  It turns out that the party was actually for Blanche all along!  Surprise parties do work sometimes.  And even better, the living room is soon filled by an entire conga line of eager men, ready and willing to party.

The End.

I think I’m coming around to this flashback format, even if the transitions do seem pretty forced at times.  Dorothy’s shameful experience was pretty fun, but I especially liked getting a small glimpse of St. Olaf at the saddest surprise party ever.  It was also good to see Sophia in her younger days, and a nice reminder that Estelle Getty was actually younger than both Bea Arthur and Betty White.  Not everything worked for me, but enough of the episode to have a good time.  Overall, I would give A Piece of Cake a rating of 3.5 poofy hairdos out of 5!

Join us on Friday, when I will be reviewing the Season 2 finale (and backdoor pilot for a completely different show), Empty Nests.  And be sure to stop by tomorrow when Jon gives us his take on the first part of an incredible Doctor Who two-parter, Silence in the Library!  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

[shinigaminoballad]

Title: The Beast and The Irony Teacher

Series: Vocaloid (The Beast and Irony Teacher, both by Spectacle)

Pairing: The Beast/Irony Teacher

Summary: As she wondered, surprised and comforted, Bea’s second love opened up.

Word Count: 2,070

Prompt: Surprise Kiss

Comments: I’m sorry! I continue to be late with these little stories. The next time I do a challenge like this, I’ll probably have to make my pieces smaller, and I’ll do my best to make my heated and fluffy kiss pieces short so that you don’t have to wait long for them.

But, for this story, I wanted to write about The Beast falling in love with Irony Teacher! One of Spectacle’s most popular works paired up with a work of his that isn’t even translated. Or on Youtube, for that matter. ><; I still think they’d be cute together, given the Teacher’s possible history. Whether you think so or not, I hope you enjoy this story! I’ll try to upload the fluffy and heated pieces as quickly as I can! ><;

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               While it would have been all too easy to let the castle fall into ruin after her beloved died, They Beast didn’t feel like they would have approved of such a thing. Plus, the castle felt more than a little lonely and abandoned now that they were gone. So, for the first time in nearly a hundred years, The Beast stepped out of the castle and did her best to show her true self as she went into the village and into the mason’s guild. Of course, everyone she met glared at her with hatred, contempt, and fear, but that was to be expected, after she’d done her best to act like a terrifying, bloodthirsty, cold monster. She just tried to smile as best she could-even if it was a little awkward-as she politely asked the guild to repair her old, time-damaged castle.

               “And do you have the cash?” The head of the guild asked, his voice gruff and full of suspicion. At this, The Beast calmly put down the heavy purse she’d been carrying on the table and opened it, revealing six thousand gold coins, just a bit of the treasure that she’d been able to make for herself over the years.

               “This should be enough to cover the costs. If it isn’t, I can get you some more.” At this, the guild master’s eyes widened, and while his voice was still rough, this time, he looked at her like she was some miraculous, wish-granting fairy instead of an immortal, heartless monster.

               “I’m pretty sure that this’ll be enough, but if it isn’t, I’ll let you know. Of course, if there’s any leftover after we’re done, I’ll give it back. We’re masons, not thieves.”

               “Thank you.” The Beast awkwardly replied. “I’ll direct your men once they come to my castle. See you later.” And with that, she left the village and returned home, semi-secretly happy that she’d been able to surprise the guild master and hoping that he thought better of her because of her behavior, not because of her cash.

               Whether or not that was the case, later that afternoon, a few of the guild members showed up with their tools, and The Beast showed them around, both so that they would be familiar with the layout of the castle (and places where The Beast didn’t want them to go), and so they’d know which rooms and walls she wanted them to repair and which could be put off for a little while and which needed immediate attention. Once The Beast showed them around, they quickly got to work, but while they were neither slow nor stupid, the whole project took them a month to complete, since there were so many badly-damaged areas (especially the ballroom). During that time, The Beast did her best to be a good hostess. Whenever she saw a guild member that wasn’t busy, she did her best to talk to them and ask them how they were, even if she was a bit awkward at times, and she always used her magic to provide a good lunch for them (and breakfast, dinner, and nightly snacks, if they decided they wanted to get started early or work until dawn).

               Of course, at first, most, if not all, of them were distrustful and wary about this immortal girl with large horns and sharp teeth. They’d heard the stories about how her family had treated such a monster and how she’d gotten her revenge. They’d heard how one person went to her castle long ago, wanting to be her friend, and was never heard from or seen again. But, in the course of that one month, The Beast’s awkward attempts to be open, kind, and sociable as these strangers fixed her house touched them and won them and most of the town over, since the workers went on to tell their families how nice The Beast was and how wrong they were about her, and word spread from there, as it often does with villages.

               Of course, this meant that, once the work was finally finished and The Beast invited them and their families and friends to a party to celebrate their achievements, most of the town came, eager and curious to meet this newly-reformed, kind Beast. Thankfully, since her platters and bowls of wine, water, and juice were enchanted, food and drink never ran out for her finely-dressed guests, and getting everything together was as simple as performing a few spells beforehand, but the poor, awkward Beast had to keep fighting the urge to order everyone out or cause a violent scene so that she could avoid her own social awkwardness. Not that anyone minded, thinking her simply shy, but kind, but each awkward word, sentence, and new interaction made her want to scream and clear the castle.

               It didn’t help that, occasionally, someone would ask about what happened to the man who’d come here a hundred years ago. All she could do was give an awkward, pained smile and say that she didn’t want to discuss him, which made some people think wild, suspicious thoughts.

               Eventually though, the crowd left The Beast alone for a few moments, and she stood back to people watch and calm her nerves. At first, no one really caught her eye, but, eventually, she saw an odd young woman. It wasn’t her long, black bunches that struck her as odd, or her serious-looking blue blazer, but the fact that, attached to her back were two little wooden apparatuses that somehow generated paper on their own, making the girl look like she had wings made out of paper. More curious than nervous or afraid, The Beast quickly approached the girl and asked her who she was.

               “I’m Koto,” She replied without a smile and with a prim and proper voice. “and when I was little, a fairy gave me these magical, wooden wings because I was kind to him. He knew I liked writing stories, so he made sure that I’d never run out of paper. I can even fly with them and put words on them with my will, if I concentrate hard enough, but that’s why I have these wooden, paper-making wings.”

               “…How did you know that I was curious about your wings?” The Beast asked, trying not to look too surprised and worried. This time, Koto gave The Beast a light, easy grin.

               “The question was written all over your face. Plus, it’s what most people first ask me about when they meet me. It’s alright though. I don’t mind talking about them. Who are you, though? Everyone calls you The Beast, but that can’t be your real name.”

               “..Even I don’t really remember what my name was. It’s been a long time.” The Beast replied, looking away so that Koto wouldn’t be able to see her embarrassment.

               “Then..is it alright if I call you Bea? I know it sounds weird, but The Beast is just a menacing, insulting title. It’s not a name.”

               “That’s..alright with me.” Bea replied, looking back and giving Koto an awkward, grateful, friendly little smile. “Um..you know, I have a pretty big library over here. If you like writing stories, then you probably like reading them too, so you’re free to come over whenever you want and read. Just let me know if you want to borrow something.” If Bea looked or sounded awkward (she hoped she didn’t), Koto didn’t seem bothered by it. Instead, she gave her a gentle smile.

               “Thank you! I’ll try not to bother you, but I will come over tomorrow and see what you really have. Everyone says that you have a huge collection of magic books, but I don’t know whether that’s true or not.”

               “It..actually is.” Bea replied, certain this time that her smile was awkward, though Koto still didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed pleasantly surprised by this knowledge, her eyes lighting up like candles. “My Uncle was a magician, so he left behind a bunch of books for us. Though..I’d suggest reading some of the basic ones before you try to do any spells. You don’t want them backfiring on you.”

               “Don’t worry, I will! I don’t think I’ll do any magic, but I would like to know more about it. It really seems fascinating, and knowing more about it will help me with my writing.” Suddenly, a man wearing a black business suit called Koto over, and she politely excused herself, which made Bea feel lonely, but, as promised, she came by the next day with a large picnic lunch in a wicker basket. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve been doing a lot of cooking for everyone, so I thought I’d be nice and whip something up for the both of us.” Koto said as Bea greeted her and asked why she’d brought some food with her, since she didn’t mind making or conjuring something up. While the library tables were large enough for two people to eat at, Bea had to do her best to not be awkward as she thanked Koto for being so thoughtful and promised her that she’d cook something for them next time.

               Weeks passed like this, with Koto occasionally borrowing books, staying overnight, and showing Bea her stories, which were overflowing with optimism, and slowly, over time, Bea grew more relaxed and less worried about or defensive of her pride and self-image to the point where, one day, as they ate in the large library, she felt comfortable enough to tell Koto the story she hadn’t been able to tell anyone else-what had happened to the person who’d come to her castle a hundred years ago.

               “..When I first met that boy,” She began, looking down at the sandwich she was holding so that she wouldn’t have to look at Koto, “he was incredibly energetic and friendly. He thought my large, empty castle was sad and that I was lonely, which put me on my guard. At the time, I didn’t think his kindness was genuine, and..I didn’t want to admit that I was lonely. I’d survived and managed to live alright by myself, and I didn’t want to-and wasn’t used to talking about-talk about my fears, faults, and weaknesses. So I studied him as best I could, and while I didn’t drive him away, I was cold towards him and did my best to act like a ferocious monster.

               But..he just laughed and decided to stay in the castle, hoping that he could become a good magician by studying the books in my library. Of course, since I didn’t chase him away, I cooked for him. I honestly wanted him to stay around. I was lonely. It’d been ages since anyone had lived with me in that castle, and I really wanted a friend. But..my pride and false bravado wouldn’t let me be honest or admit that. I kept treating him coldly, like an outsider who was planning on killing me, but, somehow, he just laughed it off and stayed by my side. Even when he came down with an illness, he stayed in the castle instead of going to the doctor. I had to treat him myself, claiming that I was doing so in order to better my own understanding of illnesses and magic.

               Eventually, he became a fine magician and left occasionally to tend to his clients or make money elsewhere, but he still came back to the castle, no matter how rude I was. Honestly, I loved him, but even on his deathbed, I didn’t know how else to act, how else to behave, even though I was..” There, Koto suddenly cut off Bea’s rushing stream of words by gently kissing her on the forehead, though she quickly pulled back, a sad look on her face.

               “It’s alright. It’s okay, Bea. He stayed with you because he loved you too. I’m sure he didn’t blame you or hate you for how you treated him. He probably realized your true feelings anyway. You’re not that good at hiding them. At least, you aren’t now.” As Bea basked in the warm, lingering sensation of Koto’s lips on her forehead and her words, she wondered why she looked so sad, like she was the one who was trying to hide the fact that her heart had been broken into seven thousand pieces. As she wondered, surprised and comforted, Bea’s second love opened up.

[whoslaurapalmer]

hot takes on ihoso, rife with spoilers, this is a lot of words

in general (a little less spoilery?)

-to me, I think the book is the most fun when it tries to function like the unauthorized autobiography – like, the page of the book about the paltryville fire, part of fernald’s job resume, the full article about the anwhistle aquatics fire, the stuff like that, I loved reading them and it reminded me so much of being like ten years old and reading unauto for the first time, it was a damn delight

-behind the scenes stuff was really interesting, and it was pretty much just, mostly, behind the scenes stuff, which just makes it weird combined with the parts that are more reminiscent of unauto

-but, good behind the scenes content.

-a lot more like, explicit s3 content than I was expecting. we really did pay for a trailer, didn’t we

-although it was kind of nice because I can sometimes hate reading information about things i’ve already seen, I almost missed one of the coded letters at the bottom of a page cause I was like ‘why the fuck do you want me to reread the timeline for an episode i’ve already fucking seen and know from the books?????’ so seeing new content was still………….nice, I guess

-i will give it this. the cover is very nice. book has a nice weight to it. like, you could probably kill a man with it.

notes I made while reading (incredibly spoilery)

-endlessly amused that nph has under his signature ‘actor and count olaf’s legal representative’ -like, what would that be like??????

- “ – and the show’s version of fiona widdershins echoes another morally ambiguous girl searching for her missing father (see: ellington feint, pg 89)” NO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ELLINGTON FEINT, PG 89 but also I never…….considered fiona and ellington to be similar, but, I mean, I guess??? I mean actually yeah I can sort of see it

-awww booooooooo they cut out a mention of the word hangfire in the wide window

- “but he once had a selfless heroic side, and he feels very loving and protective towards the baudelaires. they’re all he has left in the world, these children that aren’t even his, and I think he wants to see them in a safe place.” patrick warburton you’re breaking my heart -oh he also got the tattoo!!!!! top notch bro

-WOW THE PIC OF LEMONY AND BEA IS JUST SMACK-DAB IN THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK WITH ALL THE DEDICATIONS AROUND IT, artsy -although honestly I think from behind she looks more like jacquelyn but that could just be the black and white   -also, there’s the wonder taxi again….

-oh, the full page of the paltryville fire book -i always give bea more of the inventing vibes than bertrand although he probably has them too (says a girl who once wrote a scene (and then scrapped it) where bertrand can’t figure out how a radiator works, but that’s neither here nor there) and the idea that he ‘repurposed a large cowbell, a hammer, and a ten-foot pole to create a makeshift fire alarm’ is a DELIGHT   -and the lumbermill photo…. -wow larry is really credited as ‘mr. your-waiter’ - ‘not pictured: dr. orwell’s flamethrower’ good job

-aunt josephine’s ‘chance of survival’ is listed as ‘cloudy’ -aasif mandvi describes playing monty as “a little bit of a cross between a swashbuckler like errol flynn and gene wilder as willy wonka” and you know what???? that’s the most delightful thing i’ve heard in my whole life cause that’s on point

-OH I’M SORRY DID YOU JUST CONFIRM JACQUELYN AS R????? IS THAT WHAT I’M SEEING, PG 42??????????????? -that has honestly been my least favorite theory and I hate it with all my heart and you’ll never get me to accept jacquelyn as ramona, light of my life -also larry is listed as ‘last seen….missing!’ gustav is ‘last seen….DEAD’ which is just, hilarious, and…….yeah whatev re: jacquelyn -although this does make me no longer the only person out there shipping r/olivia considering all the jacquelyn/olivia stuff but i’m. still not happy about it. as previously expressed.

- “kit is a fearless volunteer, a trusted friend, and currently, a very pregnant woman” next to a picture of allison williams looking barely pregnant if at all -ALLISON WILLIAMS JUST SHOOTING OFF DETAILS ABOUT KIT’S OPENING SCENE LIKE WE’VE ALREADY SEEN SLIPPERY SLOPE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -although kit straight-up diving off a mountain while pregnant is still…….pretty kit   - “leaping off a mountain may not be a typical activity for an expectant mother, but kit snicket pulls it off with bravery and style.” bravery? yes! style? no

me: hey mom can I ask you a question mom: sure me: would you say this picture of this woman looks very pregnant mom: yep me: you would???? I mean like she looks a little obviously pregnant but – mom: she does, but….maybe not very pregnant me: I didn’t think very pregnant. mom: i’d say she’s…….six months???? mom: six months. me: thank you for that assessment.

- “dashing and heroic, adventurous and charming” have never been words I have used to describe jacques snicket in my entire life, I have never cringed so hard before -in case anyone was wondering, i’ve based my entire characterization of jacques on basically one single line – “principal predicament: wondering if it’s the right time to step in”

- “while the book’s version of olivia is a veteran agent of dubious morality, the show reinvents her as a noble school librarian struggling against institutional corruption.” because apparently ‘veteran agent of dubious morality’ wasn’t good enough for you, I GUESS

-oh my they have the rhetorical building marked on the ‘admittedly stylish but how many eyes can you really incorporate into geography before lulu vandelay starts to think you’re overplaying this’ city map -also some of these streets are………..very tiny, but they’re all labeled (and named mostly after people involved in the production) but i’m gonna need like a goddamn magnifying glass for this, what the hell -or well there are numbered places on the side but besides the longitude/latitude markings there are, no numbers -but I am dying to know where they’re placing the grotto on this map wtf personally i just imagined........a bigger landscape, especially once they reach the ocean, as perhaps illogical as that truly is 

-okay i’m gonna give them this, the explanation about the trolley/underground tunnel system was, actually, intriguing and fairly on-point. I am, distressingly, impressed.

-thank you, pg 48, for immediately pulling me back to reality by listing the kids as ‘klaus, violet, and sunny’ that was unnecessary and uncalled for, have a hearty fuck you!

-why…….look, “i’d rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with carmelita spats” isn’t from ‘poet unknown.’ isadora wrote that. why put????? ‘poet unknown’????????? cause she’s not!!!! unknown!!!! THIS IS VERY, VERY CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “there are few things more dangerous than a person armed with a slingshot and a poorly oriented moral compass” thank you for forcing me to relive the memory of stew mitchum while reading about carmelita

-fernald’s education listed as ‘degrees in marine biology and theatre arts’ good on you for keeping that in

- ohhhhhhhhhh re: white faced women “heimlich hospital announces birth of world’s first conjoined triplets” good on you for hopefully not taking away third sibling backstory!!! hadn’t considered them as triplets, though, but I hadn’t considered them as twins, either, so whatever

-awww I wish they’d found a way to keep in the cut song from the end of s2 it looked delightful

-olaf as “alias: DAD” in s3…………….oh boy -“the voice is reminiscent of eugene levy” oh man but i’m here for that

-re: barry sonnenfeld “in the grim grotto he plays the vital role of the missing captain widdershins” well that sentence is like six kinds of whiplash -he makes a good…….sea captain picture though.

-hmmmmm the lil sugar bowl section seems to lean towards the horseradish as the contents…….?

- “the props department created two sugar bowls, including a rubber version that could be dropped for a critical scene in season three.” oh really. oh. really. that better just be someone flinging it out the damn window in the mountains

-the masked ball invitation saying “a safe place that we hope will be much more difficult to burn” right on

-as someone who has frequently wondered how they really use movies for codes considering information can change while making the movie and how would you even decode it anyway, the explanation of pulling a message from existing subtitles based on a changing code number makes sense, but probably still won’t change how I view them making a considerable number of movies on the fly -does remind me, though, of how I put in beatrice the idea of picking up certain props, something that can be easily changed, in order to convey information

-bo welch saying “so I asked barry, ‘this house in season one that olaf lives in, where did he get that?’ and in talking with him, we decided that he probably married or moved in with some wealthy old dowager and then when she died, he kept the house, and of course, he didn’t have the resources and it went to seed.” well that’s…………………...uh………………….one way to think about it I prefer the theory that it’s the remains of his family’s house

-WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR WRITING ‘AND, FUCK YEAH, OTTOMANS’ IN THE SCRIPT ABOUT JUSTICE STRAUSS’S LIBRARY THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING

-okay all the little jokes they have in the scripts are. GREAT

-nathan fillion re: jacques “he’s goodhearted. he’s kind. he’s capable. and he’s dead.”

-wow uh just straight-up revealing the opening theme rhymes for s3. gutsy of you

-you know, I really am sad they cut out widdershins, because i really liked him, and fiona aggressively adopting his mannerisms once he disappears, and i LOVE the scene here she tells the kids why widdershins didn’t go after the kids and how much fiona herself doesn’t know, but, i......guess they could still????? keep that in????? if he said that before he disappeared??? depends on when they have him disappearing, i guess 

i just????? widdershins is the whole reason they don’t show up until they do so how this works out now idk, unless they’re gonna have just fiona actively trying to find the kids (if they go that route, unless they just like, bump into each other?) as a KID trying to save kids does put an interesting spin on it

-THE WHOLE POINT IS THE SECRECY, THOUGH!!! FIONA IS BASICALLY STILL RAISED IN VFD AND SHE HAS NO DAMN CLUE ABOUT IT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! augggggggggggggg

-the anwhistle aquatics article talking about gregor and ike not getting along?????? intriguing - “there are secrets in this world to terrible for decent people to know.” I read that and immediately thought of “mrs. palmer, there are things dark and heinous in this world. things too horrible to tell our children.” but that could just be because my mind pulls up peaks quotes for literally everything

-you know as much as I liked the imagined red vibe of penultimate peril, i’m really digging these set pieces even if they are green

- “several key scenes in the penultimate peril take place in an opulent opera house” are you gonna full flashback to the opera house??????????????? because hmmmmmmmmmm I never wanted to see the whole thing but I HAVE always imagined them as. barely adults when the opera happens, so?? at least there’s that

-still VERY nervous at the idea of the beatrice letters being at the end of the end. no damn clue what i’m nervous about. I already had my say about how I think the beatrice letters goes down. in almost 20,000 words. it shouldn’t matter to me. but. regardless. ……….still nervous……….

-based on the allusions page it looks like this be the verse and the blind men and the elephant will show up?????? they’d BETTER (and if I had to pick, this be the verse.) (my brit lit professor in college took great, great thrill in reading that poem out loud, so much so that when we were studying it, she read it out loud twice. she was a delightful woman.) (but re: the elephant poem that’s just, such a sweet, delightful memory of bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire, and considering all the memories of bea and bertrand they’ve really cut out, I just really, really want that one to stay in…….)

-hey, that final image of the eye-shaped island????? legitimately one of the most terrifying things i’ve ever seen in my life. I hope you’re happy.

-so, missed two words in the telegram code so I did look up what it was, and I was incredibly disappointed that that was all it was

(HOLY FUCK WAIT A SECOND as i’m rereading the beginning of my notes here, the see: ellington feint, that’s the only reference to ellington and she’s not even mentioned on the referenced page because it’s one of the code pages, but if that’s supposed to somehow imply ellington is in the two sets of people the telegram code refers to i’m. not gonna be happy) (unless it was just a reference to how the picture of barry sonnenfeld in austere academy is as the founder of the school, last name feint, and…….they’re just doing something with that, how the hell should I know) well I was disappointed until I got UNNECESSARILY TERRIFIED BY PROBABLY OVER-THINKING IT, gonna forget that ever happened at all, completely anyway, besides that, it’s still………….nothing that really???? doesn’t already go without saying?????? like THAT’S the code you decided to put in this book????? and how does that have any relevance to ‘don’t decode it until after s3’