#which like....... damn where are those posts bc i sure want to see them!

[altschmerzes]

another day, more of this shit again.

[image description: the ‘don’t make me tap the sign’ simpsons meme where the sign reads “queerplatonic relationships and nonromantic committed relationships - and people talking about these things, even if you are not interested in them - are not amatonormative. amatonormativity does not want these relationships to exist.”]

[winwintea]

winwintea's super SEXY and COOL rec-list

author’s note ↬ i really need to start saving and liking half of the fics i read bc i end up not being able to find them again... a lot of these are smut (bc i am a whore sometimes) so mdni with those tagged with s!

last updated ↬ september 11th, 2024

𝐊𝐄𝐘 ↬

f — 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

a — 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

h — 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 

s— 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍/𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾

𝖭𝖢𝖳 𝖣𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖬

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 ↬

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 by @sehunniepotwrites ↳ disneyland au | f | 11.9k words 

There are so many ways your friend group could have chosen to celebrate your graduation from university but they chose the one way that fit their childlike antics most of all–going to Disneyland. With all the screams of joy and laughter filing the atmosphere, you see why people call it The Happiest Place on Earth. It’s where magic comes alive, hearts soar to the skies, and where dreams come true. With your dream job already lined up for you once you get back from this vacation, you wonder if your last and wildest fantasy–the one that carries Mark Lee endearingly close to your heart–will take flight. (But don’t worry; your best friends, with a little help of pixie dust, are determined to make it come alive by the end of night.)

perfection like literally. i love disney. so so so much.

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 by @yojeongin ↳ husband au | s | 19.5k words 

all mark ever does is use weaponized incompetence to get out of small tasks you ask of him. when he finally realizes you resort to his close friends to do what he can’t— nothing can prepare him for what’s in your pandora box; now karma is set in motion.

toxic as hell... i didn't know what to think of myself after this. but it's extremely well written.

𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨 by @hazyhae ↳ plug + stoner au | a, f, s | 14.4k words 

a high slip up cost you mark lee years ago, and you’ve spent years burying your memories of him ever since. the universe has other plans for you when your old friend starts a new career, smoking his way back into your life.

love love their work, even has a whole post dedicated to explaining weed basics 101 which i appreciate. A LOT

𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 by @spiderm444rk↳ smau | f | ongoing

you, as the promising journalism student of NCUT, were more than willing to join the school magazine when you got offered. to your disappointment, the only section they let you have is the anonymous confessions one - which is mostly really, really boring. i mean, who even posts any cool confessions nowadays ? especially in a damn college magazine ? they only offered you the job no one else wanted. on the other hand, mark, a business student, was never more annoyed with the choice of his major. sure, business is cool and hopefully it’ll earn him money, but it’s not something he could really get into. he always wanted to do music. but after long considering, he chose business instead, to make sure he gets a real job in the future. and he doubts that choice was correct more and more every day. once the school band announces they’re looking for a new guitarist, he’s absolutely ready to apply until he reads the ‘music students only’ part. pissed off, he starts typing a message to the gc, but it ends up going to a different number - and you finally get to help some poor random stranger who confessed with something interesting.

sucker for mark lee and bands 😋😋

𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬 by @https-lvesick ↳ spiderman smau | a, f | ongoing

toronto has never been so chaotic, but things are working out since the spiders appeared to save the citizens. spiderman and silk are the city's biggest saviours and they count on them to keep them safe, even the police. but, aside from their big responsibilities, they’re just teenagers, trying to be themselves and keep their grades good, trying to have a social life and maybe a love life as successful as their superhero life. but… what’s easier to tell? that you have a crush on your best friend or that you’re a mutant superhero?

so so so so hyped for this since it started and excited for it still... a spiderman smau is just so good especially for mark <33

𝐇𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍 ↬

𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 by @strrykais ↳ fantasy au + smau | f, a | ongoing

did you know that angels walk the earth before they get accepted into heaven, being tasked to watch over a human and complete their assignment. renjun was excited to finally have the chance to earn his wings, until he finds out his task is getting you to love life. a very depressed girl meets a very desperate boy, can they learn that maybe staying on earth isn't such a bad thing after all.

so hyped for this one actually even though it's the newest one on this list i think.

𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐭𝐰𝐨. 𝐭𝐞𝐧. by @zchl ↳ angsty little drabble | a | 1k words

(doesnt have a summary) renjun in the hospital, you're waiting for news.

literally broke me.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 by @hwanchaesong ↳ exes to lovers | a, f | 1.1k words

[part of the after hours series] Y'all bring gravity to shame because even with its constant pull of 9.81 m/s^2, it still can't put your drunken pieces back together.

the series is so good check it out. this one is my fav though, it's just honestly a scenario i've never thought about before.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐎 ↬

𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 by @hazyhae ↳ fwb to lovers + plug!jeno | f, a, s | 4.7k words

jeno doesn't think he's ever felt this restless in his life. maybe he's been smoking a bad batch of flower, or maybe it's the fact that you haven't knocked on his door in over a month.

oh god. jeno isn't even one of my ults or wreckers but damn this hits the spot actually?

8 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 by @nanaxwii ↳ friends to lovers | f, a, | 1.3k words

Why do all good stories come to an end? Why don’t we try to make it work? It just takes 8 letters to fix it all, or does it…?

loving this one... it's filled with tooth rotting fluff that's so cute omg... i love them.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐂𝐊 ↬

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫 by @lyvhie ↳ established relationship | f | 2k words

you just want to show your boyfriend how important he is to you.

like the title it's literally so sweet... tooth-rotting fluff

𝐩𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 by @lqfiles ↳ smau | f | ongoing

after getting evicted out of your old place, you're left with no other choice but to look for a cheaper alternative. which is how you end up becoming neighbors with lee haechan, who has a passion for music and disturbing whatever peace and quiet there is. or in which you found yourself a very nice apartment, the only issue? your neighbor is your friend's somewhat ex-situationship who won't stop playing his guitar at 2 am in the night.

you will absolutely shit yourself reading this (in a good way dare i say?)

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐧 by @diorcities ↳ ballet au | s, h | 20.9k words

docile bodies loaded with lethal venom and betrayals are commonplace in the prestigious academy, and you happen to be their new prey when you're given the starring role with the smooth seducer with the devil's carved grin that everyone desperately desires: haechan

probably the filthiest one on this list? read the tags before reading, might be too much. it's just extremely poetic...

𝐍𝐀 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍 ↬

𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 by @polarisjisung ↳ fighter au | a, f | 2.7k words

it's routine— you patch up his wounds and watch them heal, he salts your wounds but doesn't stick around long enough to watch them grow.

i hate you for this hua (esp part 2) but i also love to drown in angst

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 by @markiemelon ↳ friends to lovers(?) au | f | idk lol

going over to jaem's house to crash a couple of times leads to something...

this was so sweet omg

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭 by @polarisjisung ↳ enemies to lovers smau | f, a | ongoing

going ovevery college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easierer to jaem's house to crash a couple of times leads to something...

unfortunately i cannot put cherry flavored, but this is just as good. check it out!!!

𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐄 ↬

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧 by @lowkeychenle ↳ friends to lovers(?) au | s, f, a | 9k words

Chenle is everything you want--everything you need. Somehow, the thought of him manages to pull you back in even after you were free. Messy kisses, late night trysts, and him tracing the word 'mine' on your thigh--barely anything, so how could you possibly be guilty as sin? (based on Guilty As Sin? by Taylor Swift)

fucked me over so badly.

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭! by @wonbin-truther ↳ idol smau | f | smau

idol chenle x idol reader try to avoid dating rumors

this was SOO FUNNY

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 by @lyvhie ↳ established relationship | s | 2.5k words

a stupid little game seems to be enough to make you speak with recklessness and throw reason out of the window in the heat of the moment. but since you were unwilling to be so easily placated, chenle was decided to talk some sense into you.

i fully choked the day i read this. had to take a breather omg 😵😵

𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞 by @mins-fins ↳ royalty au | f, a | 22.7k words

where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

actually such a sucker for royalty fics... and chenle is so prince coded

𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲 by @aehyei ↳ parallel universe + time traveling au | f, a | 6.4k words

After a long day of stressful practice, Chenle finds himself in deep sleep on his bed and wakes up when a strange child that came from nowhere jumped on him—scaring him in the progress. To add to everything, the young idol learns that he just traveled to the future and is able to meet his future daughter. But will Chenle be able to be that great husband and father when he doesn’t even have a single clue on what’s going on?

one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITES I HAVE EVER READ. if you're gonna read any of these read this.

𝐒𝐄𝐑Á 𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 by @galacticseonghwa ↳ biker smau | f, a, s | ongoing

your friends were all you needed, they were your brothers from another mother they loved to say. but that all went to shit after ricky dragged you to one of his motorbike sprints. who are you to say no when ricky's opponent claws his way into your inner circle and present himself as your dream man?

really really good and underrated... i love chenle can you tell...

𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 by @chenlesfavorite ↳ motorcyclist smau | f, a | ongoing

working night shifts 24/7 at the convenience store while also supporting your boyfriend’s obsession with watching motorcyclists race is not easy, but little did you know that one of the bikers that he loves soon gets involved with you.

wdym this is ending soon... no way.... im gonna cry wtf

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 ↬

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 by @aehyei ↳ high school au | f | 7.2k words

You love stories. If anyone would ask, you’d rather live in it then wake up another day in a world where everyone’s having the love story you’ve been daydreaming about. Of course falling in love with your best friend never came across your mind so it was a bit of a mess when you realized Jisung didn’t only view you as a ‘friend’. 

so so so so sos sos cute omfghsdjsah

𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 by @jirsungs ↳ college smau | f | completed

a story about a college student enjoying her life in school perfectly fine, until one of her friends drags the group along to watch their school's band perform. little did she know that day would be marked as the day her whole world turned upside down because of a particular, nonchalant, and difficult drummer boy. a drummer boy who spilled his entire drink on her brand new outfit at a party and never came back.

i actually binged this in a day bc it was so good

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 by @babbymochiiii ↳ discord call au (if you know where this is going...) | s | ??? words

you and jisung have discord date night, where things take a turn.

sorry guys im.. a little shameless sometimes...

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 ↬

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 by @jaysng ↳ friends to lovers | f | idk lol

jay and mute reader both seem to like each other, just when he thinks that his confession was a pure failure the reader does something surprising.

this was just so sweet i literally fell in love with him all over again

𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 by @yeonzzzn ↳ zombie apocalypse au | f, h, a, s | 26.2k words

in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater.

probably one of my personal favorites on this list teehee. i love jay park.

𝐖𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐔𝐈 ↬

𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨 by @wheeboo ↳ dark + psychiatric facility au | f, a, h | 12.8k words

in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind.

literally had me gripping the edge of my seat as i read this

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐇𝐄𝐄 ↬

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 by @wonbin-truther ↳ influencers smau | f, a | ongoing

sohee was a well known streamer, having grown his fanbase over covid with the game minecraft and slowly branched into other games along with sponsorships and modeling offers. he was also well known for being your number one twitter fanboy, never missing one of your posts even if fashion wasn't his greatest interest. what happens when a modeling gig brings him face to face with you?

this was a really sweet smau omfg... and sohee streamer just makes so much sense...

𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍 ↬

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 by @sehunniepot ↳ disneyland cast member au | f, a, h | 12.8k words

in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind.

if y'all have anything disney related send my way cause i'll literally eat it all up. JUST LIKE THIS ONE.

𝐌𝐀𝐄𝐃𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐔 ↬

𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 by @slytherinshua ↳ established relationship | f | ~500 words

jealous riku over seiji from whisper of the heart

i need more riku content omfg. ALSO THIS IS PERFECT? ITS JUST A DRABBLE BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH?

SEND ME UR FICS SO I CAN READ THEM BTW !!!! i'll try to update this as often as i can... or maybe make more depending on the amount on here, but thank you all so much for the wonderful stories <33

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like such a hypocrite reblogging all these posts about how people like male characters more than female ones even if they have similar personalities/roles/wtv, but I read about this stuff precisely because I relate to it. "People think everything men do is cool and everything women do is either weak or Mary Sue" -- yes, it's me, I'm people. It's not like I do it deliberately or I'm proud of it, but I can observe and acknowledge the empirical fact that female characters just produce a very different emotional reaction in me than male ones.

I guess I like the safe distance of projecting onto characters who 1. are more obviously not me and 2. are judged less harshly than me (bc everything men do is cool) and that's not my fault, it's the patriarchy's, but then I can't challenge it. I can't say "women can be just as cool and we shouldn't be judged more harshly", I can only say "yea women suck let me forget I am one" like I'm still in my 9gag nlog tween phase -- or well, I can *say* the former, but I keep *acting and feeling* like the latter. And btw I'm not just talking about consuming media, where all you can choose from is what's on offer; I'm also talking about creating my own fanfics, which are all about men.

--

The reason a lot of those posts are so obnoxious is that they're just people wallowing in guilt and projecting.

The fact is, lots of people do like female characters. There's plenty of fiction about women. There's plenty of fic about women. There is not, in fact, some grand, existential problem where nobody cares about the ladies. If you aren't seeing this fic or original media, that's different from it not existing.

Two, your own fanfics? FFS. If you consume media that is a sausagefest, then of fucking course, your fic will be about dudes.

Just the other day, I spotted a story I hadn't read by a fantastic fantasy novelist. I hadn't looked her up much beyond buying her trilogy, and what do you know: she actually says who she is in fandom openly!

I was entertained to find out that her big thing is kylux. You really wouldn't guess based on her pro work, which is about a harried female doctor taking care of supernatural patients. I remember those books being a refreshing change from my usual diet of nothing but slash fic. It's not just that there's a female lead but that they take a nuanced look at female characters.

Personally, as a writer, I wasn't ready to write much about women until I was better at writing overall, and my more self inserty characters aren't usually going to be women anyway unless they're like Julia from the Hilary Tamar series.

--

If you're uncomfortable with yourself, you can try to change, sure.

But fandom is full of this obnoxious plague where people think that it's the job of each person to make there be more female characters. This isn't necessary. Even if we want media or fic to be more balanced overall, it doesn't follow that each person needs to produce a balanced body of work.

Why should you in particular care about female characters?

--

But beyond all that, oh my fucking lord, I am so tired of that species of post that's like "Gosh, why is slash fandom, where people go to be horny over dudes and/or have self inserty feelings about them, not more full of stuff about ladies? It's so tragic how we all want to get rid of our boobs and wear men's clothing and be addressed as sir, just like all the other girls. What's up with that? It must be misogyny."

With a totally straight face.

Every god damn time.

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

[voxofthevoid]

I loved your answer to the Sukuita anon! I’d also like to ask for some elaboration if that’s okay: when you said that Sukuna in the manga says he finds Yuji boring but is borderline obsessed with him, can I ask how you got to that interpretation/conclusion? I myself am a MASSIVE sukuita shipper and yet sometimes I struggle w the ship because it feels like Sukunas hate for Yuji is so,,, rigid? To me it’s not just hate sometimes it borders on disdain/apathy which is a lot less forgiving than a passionate feeling like hate I think? And it narrows down the plausibility of a relationship between them (which makes me sad bc I ship these two BAAAADDDDDD 😭😭). So I just wanna know how you reconciled that aspect of their relationship.

When I ship something I don’t wanna feel like the characters would have to be OOC to be together (I’m not one of those people who can soften a char’s edges in my imagination to make it fit the ship), which Sukuita often feels like. Straight up giving me ship-imposter syndrome 😭 💀 making me ask myself am I being delulu? Do these two chars even have chemistry fr?

I think I’ve just never seen a character like Sukuna call another char BORING this much before. Like damn Sukuna can’t even say he hates Yuji 😭 he gotta call him boring 😭😭 and that makes me wanna kms 😭 😭 I don’t wanna ship a fraud ship so please help me see what you see.

I’ve never shipped something so hard while simultaneously being so confused and conflicted over shipping it.

*pats pats* I can understand that dilemma. Hate is a very passionate emotion, while indifference/apathy is defined by lack of passion. How's that quote go—the opposite of love isn't hate but indifference? I'd also find it harder to get into a ship where one party outright doesn't care about the other, while mutual or even one-sided hate are prime shipping grounds.

But in this case, without any real insight into your head, I'd wager a guess that you're experiencing this disconnect because you have critically picked up on the undercurrents of Sukuna and Yuuji's relationship but are consciously too caught up in what Sukuna says.

He be lyin' though. To himself, most of all. There's a reason I specified he must be in denial in that post you saw.

Sukuna very badly wants Yuuji to be boring. He wants Yuuji to not matter—for his ideals to be foolish, for his will to wither. Most importantly, Sukuna wants to be completely unaffected by Yuuji. He tries to emphasize this so many times in so many ways: he never calls Yuuji by name (except once at the beginning and then at the very end), he belittles and mocks Yuuji at every opportunity, and he says in a variety of ways that Yuuji's boring and inconsequential.

But look at his actions, the way he behaves. From the beginning, whenever he takes over Yuuji, Sukuna tries to do things that will not only bring him joy but also shatter Yuuji, and the degree of his targeted malice only increases as the story progresses. The devastation at Shibuya is a natural consequence of Sukuna's fight with Jogo and then Mahoraga, but that final moment where he takes care to lead Yuuji to the very edge of the crater, taunting him while making sure Yuuji will witness the full scale of the devastation the instant he opens his eyes? That's so intensely personal.

And it only gets worse after Sukuna switches to Megumi's body; there are glaring contradictions between what he tells Yuuji and how he acts/reacts. Honestly, even his interior monologue contradicts what he says half the time. Both in the last few chapters of "Cursed Womb: Under Heaven" and "The Decisive Battle in the Uninhabited, Demon-Infested Shinjuku," there's a running thread of Sukuna verbally dismissing Yuuji while actively being shocked, offended, confused, and even cornered by his actions. And whenever the battle narrows to just the two of them, you have Sukuna continuously needling Yuuji to get a rise out of him, while Yuuji's fixated on just tearing into him and saving Megumi—until Yuuji's domain expansion, that is.

The crux of it is there in Chapter 248, explicitly realized by Sukuna himself. Sharing a body with Yuuji, their souls coexisting in excruciating proximity, forced Sukuna to understand and be aware of Yuuji in a way that's deeply uncomfortable to Sukuna, both because of his character and because of how diametrically opposed Yuuji's values and ideals are to Sukuna's nature. Even the very act of understanding Yuuji discomfits Sukuna. Naturally, he resolves to shatter those ideals and Yuuji himself.

Yuuji's DE and its aftermath also illustrate this. You have Sukuna outright saying he feels "absolutely nothing" about the humanity Yuuji showcased only to become incandescently angry the instant he perceives Yuuji as pitying him. There's nothing apathetic about the way he resolves to tear apart everyone Yuuji loves before killing him; he even admits out loud that he's surprised by the intensity of his hatred.

Fundamentally, Yuuji changed him, and Sukuna fucking hated it the entire time—the premonition, the process, the result. He's so insistent on Yuuji meaning nothing because to accept otherwise challenges the very foundation Sukuna built his existence on. To him, Yuuji is an existential threat, and we see it realized in the afterlife scene, where Sukuna admits to wanting to try a kinder path in life. That's one hell of an admittance coming from him, but it's also an admittance he could only have made in death, in loss.

In the end, he died cradled by Yuuji, verbally rejecting him using Yuuji's own words while simultaneously acknowledging Yuuji by using his proper name. And ain't that sukuita in a nutshell?

Even outside of the shipping goggles, they're a central narrative-driving force in the final arc and for good reason.

I do think the development of this relationship could have benefited from (a) the Shinjuku Showdown arc having a tighter focus, instead of being so drawn out and haphazard, and (b) Yuuji's DE and the parts around it being expanded to cover a Heian era flashback as well as more insights into Yuuji's understanding of Sukuna. I read or skimmed like twenty chapters just to put this post together because while I trust my memory, I wanted concrete references, and it really showed how scattered the emotional core of the Sukuna gauntlet is.

[neverchecking]

That recent Sage fic u wrote was MUAH BELOVED But now we can't get enough 🧍‍♀️so if it isn't much of a hassle and u still have some room, may I request a oneshot (it can be HCs too if u want) exploring how much of a.. hawk Sage is guarding and protecting Reader? It's like a follow up fic of ur last one

Look. Look. Y'all are straight up feral for this man and I love feeding you guys.

It's no hassle at all darling, and I always have room! I went with HC's bc they're easier when it comes to spitballing like this.

Also, me and @eeveelutionqueen1995 have decided that Wild (Blue Nightshade), Calamity (Silent Princess) and Sage (Sundelion) are now the Flower Garden trio. The council has SPOKEN-

I was gonna wait to post this tomorrow, but y'all can thank @lovanmari because their art of Sage had me BARKING- so have this as a treat from me to you.

Sage, for those new here, is TotK Link! So spoilers below!

The 'last' one can be found here!

・❥・After resigning himself to your pitiful cause, Sage decides to get you to a stable first and foremost. He has no idea how old your injury is nor how well taken care of it, if at all, so he needed to get a grasp on that.

・❥・He couldn't risk losing his only support in this cruel world due to an infection caused by neglect by things far out of his control.

・❥・So, that was first. The stable hands greeted him with a smile-- shaky and unsure of his normally glowering features much less stiff as you babbled on about this group of yours.

・❥・They knew better than to push him though, simply giving you both a large berth after he snapped his glare at a stable boy that tried to offer you a water canteen.

・❥・He gave you his own while wordlessly daring anyone else to try that. He had no idea where that water came from. Whose to say this stablehand wasn't Yiga? What if it was poisoned?! He couldn't risk it.

・❥・He made sure your injury was wrapped and treated properly, before anything else, listening to you go on and on about something or another. He answered the questions you had ("What kind of flower is that?" "...Sundelion." "That's a huge Bokoblin! Do they all come that size?" "No, just the boss Bokoblins." "Those are thing? Are they tougher than regular Bokoblins?" "...Not anymore.") calmly and succinctly,

・❥・Just as he sat back to try and figure out the best route of action from this point on (His day to day life was so dangerous. He'd have to make some serious adjustments if he wanted to keep you within arms reach. There was no question after this that you were his- even if you didn't know it yet- and he couldn't very well just leave you at this stable. He did have a home on the outskirts of Tarrey town. No one would hear your screams or pleas for escape...) the sound of some sort of warbling caught his attention and yours.

・❥・He immediately jumped to action as he stepped in front of you, pulling out the Master Sword-- that he recently retrieved-- and holding out his shield. The Sage spirits echoed his stance as he allowed them to roam, your excited squeak making his ears twitch. He'd have to show them to you up close after the threat was disengaged.

・❥・In front of him, a portal of some sorts-- a dark purple with three straight edges--wavered in front of him, testing his patience as it remained frustratingly dormant.

・❥・"That's one of the portals I was talking about!" You called from behind him, running up to stand behind him with your hand, soft and free of blemishes, settling on his shoulder.

・❥・That meant either this supposed Dink (What a dumb name for a being of evil) or your damned group was making their grand (re)appearance.

・❥・He wasn't sure which option he loathed the idea of more.

・❥・The first one to pop through the portal was a tall blond adorned in armor and an eyesore of a scarf. Immediately, he could only see all of the weak points this...man showcased. (He had no protection anywhere near his thighs, nor his neck, meaning if he could fake a hit at either one he could quickly redirect a swipe at the other and hopefully nick an artery-)

・❥・He was just about to do just that when you stepped around him. "Wars!"

・❥・Ah. So you knew him. He was part of your disgraced group...Or was he?

・❥・Quickly grabbing your arm, he made sure you stayed close as you glanced back at him. He kept his gaze on the imposter. "Remember what I said about the puppets."

・❥・You thought for a second before frowning, stepping back behind him. He had warned you of Ganon being able to make lifelike puppets. So close to the real thing they almost fooled even him.

・❥・You took his warning in head even as the other turned to look at him. And you. Mostly you if the look of pure admiration written all over his features said anything.

・❥・"Oh, my precious Angel, you're safe!" He cried out, moving to step closer before Sidon's trident clanged noisily against Yunobo's Boulder breaker, creating an 'x' right in front of where he stood, pushing you behind him.

・❥・"Come no closer!" He barked at the startled man. "State your name and business, but come no further."

・❥・The man glowered at him, fingers twitching on the hilt of his weapon. The portal wavered behind him but it was forgotten as Link tightened his grip around the Master Sword.

・❥・"I am here for them. We were separated, but, as you can see, we've been reunited. Your...assistance is no longer needed." The other, Wars, growled out through ground teeth. "I'll take it from here."

・❥・"I'm sure you'd like that." He barked back, lowering his stance as his teeth bared themselves. He wasn't against charging teeth first and using his weapon as an afterthought.

・❥・Wars grimaced at the primal response. Then he seemed to remember himself, sending you a positively pitiful glance. "Angel, you have no idea how long we've been looking for you-"

・❥・"Y/n!" Another voice called, much younger and much closer than Link anticipated. A young boy, looking much like the other male-- same blond hair and blue eyes--ran right up to the Sage spirits. "It's me. Wind! You know me!" He cried, tears welling up in his wide eyes. "Don't tell me you forgot me!"

・❥・You broke free of his grasp before he could readjust it, running forward to cradle the youngest one to your chest. "I would never!"

・❥・Oh, this just wouldn't do at all.

・❥・"Y/n-" He hissed, stepping closer to retrieve you before a weapon was swung towards him. His own met it before it collided with his shoulder, pushing it off of him as he was met with an eerily familiar face. Riddled with scars and with hair too long to be practical, he realized he was met with another contender for your attention.

・❥・The scarred man snarled his own grimace, with his own teeth bared-- canines comparatively sharp to his own. His body language said everything he didn't. Back the fuck up.

・❥・He did not. He grew closer, getting up in the other's face. Not a chance in the fiery depths of hell.

・❥・"Move." Was all Link said, the other refusing to do so, before your hands were pushing against his chest. He followed the direction you pushed him in, as gentle and loving as you were with everything.

・❥・"They are not our enemies, Link." You whispered, eyes wide and pleading. He almost felt as if he had no choice but to listen.

・❥・And then there was a fucking small army behind you and he was on the offensive again. Who were these people, threatening to take you away from him?!

・❥・"Stand down!" A loud voice barked. The authority in it was present as he eyeballed the source. Tall. Blond haired and blue eyed with tattoos or markings of some sorts on his face. One eye was shut with a scar dragging over it with his own armor gleaming in the light. "We mean no harm." The gleam in his eye said otherwise.

・❥・He did not back down, but he did allow you to step in front of him. Even if he quickly wrapped an arm around your hips. That earned him a few glares. Good.

・❥・"He doesn't either!" You quickly reassured. "This is another Link!"

・❥・...I'm sorry, did you say another? Were these all...him? He sincerely hoped not. It seemed the rest of them agreed as another one, seemingly younger than that Wind character if his height was anything to go by, stepped up, pushing against Sidon's Trident, even if it didn't move. "My jewel, you know I would never doubt you, but...are you sure?"

・❥・You hurriedly explained everything to them, even going as far as to raise his hand that clutched the Master sword in front of them. He eyed their cautious expressions before another was stepping forward. He had some sort of white cape wrapped around him and was holding another version of the Master Sword, supposedly, in front of him. She didn't quite gleam like his did, but he supposed that was because his was fresh from a ten thousand year power nap.

・❥・"Then he wouldn't mind putting what you say to the test, would he, songbird?" The sword was offered.

・❥・In an act of pure spite, his own was sheathed as he kept his hand around your waist, reaching forward and wrapping his fingers around the blade. The blade let out a chime before an echo rung in his head.

・❥・'Welcome, Hero of the Zonai.'

・❥・...He was going to kill Hylia.

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

hello i’m back from the dead (sleeping) and it’s time to talk about

why Cullen won’t let anyone fix the hole in his ceiling 💖

someone has probably said this before but it wasn’t me, so here we go!

so remember that Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath grew up with three siblings, who he describes as being “very loud.” i see him as always being a very disciplined child, kind and warm and willing to let Mia take charge (because fighting her for it would have been useless), but a steadfast follower with a keen sense of justice and fairness, willing to voice his objections when he had any, and very fastidious about not breaking rules when Mia or Branson tried to stir up trouble. you know, that whole second child archetype. he was prone to a bit of escapism, running off to that pier on some lake which is definitely not in Crestwood, which tells us he likes having somewhere to escape to, somewhere to run if he gets overwhelmed.

skipping forward a bit, when he lived in Kirkwall, he had quite a bit of freedom to come and go physically, but to me at least it seems like he felt trapped by his duties under Meredith. he explicitly describes her keeping things from him, things she thought he’d disagree with as her second in command. he felt lied to, deceived, manipulated by her (bc he was), i think, even before the events at the end of DA2 that expose her for what she is. can you imagine that feeling? like he actually wants to do good, to treat the mages fairly and help keep them and everyone else safe (that’s why he signed up, after all), but he’s got this nasty, evil commanding officer who’s whispering in his ear, twisting all that good intention to do her malicious bidding. it must have felt like beating his head against a brick wall, like no matter what he did, his sincere desire to believe that other people are fundamentally good disappointed him. i always say that Meredith gave Cullen just enough rope to hang himself with.

jumping forward again, let’s talk about the Winter Palace. Cullen is very obviously uncomfortable there, and it makes sense why: he can’t leave, not without being extraordinarily rude, can’t get away from the people bothering and sexually harassing him, can’t get out of that jacket that is too damn tight. if you bring Cole with you, at one point in his ‘Investigate’ tree he comments that, “Cullen is afraid. They’re hurting him, following fear. He shouldn’t be here.”

all of this is just to illustrate: man’s got a Thing about feeling trapped, stuck, unable to fight back or defend himself or just flat out leave. and why does he have such a hard time with this?

because of that one time that Uldred blew up the Circle at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden. for reasons we don’t fully grasp, rather than being claimed by the demons or simply killed in the fighting, Cullen held out. he resisted demonic possession completely, somehow, and was instead trapped within that magical prison with no possibility of escape, probably for weeks. no escape from his hunger, thirst, or lyrium withdrawal, and no escape from the (probably Desire) demon(s) that tortured him with freedom if he’d only give in to those things he won’t quite allow himself to want.

so the fact that there’s a hole in his ceiling, even months into the repairs at Skyhold, when almost everything else has been fixed but a few, hard-to-access bits of masonry, is not lost on me. and sure, you could always blame it on lighting for the romance scene that takes place up there. but i like to think that it’s there because Cullen refuses to let them fix it. here’s why:

Cullen doesn’t like to stray far from his post. he likes that there’s a loft with a bed where he can pretend to sleep that’s not far from his desk, where he commands the lives of thousands of people. (i think at one point in Absolution, it’s revealed that at its height, the Inquisition was composed of ~10,000 troops, plus all the necessary support personnel.) the fate of the world is quite literally depending on his ability to do his job, and when the lyrium withdrawals make him feel like he must be losing his mind, he likes that he’s got an easy choice between resting (like he knows he probably should) or working (like he knows he really needs to), separated only by a little wooden ladder and a few planks that make up the floor.

he needs that little hole in the ceiling. if ever something happened at Skyhold, and it wasn’t safe or possible to leave through the three fucking doors on the lower level, he needs a back up plan, a way to get out from the top of that tower, or he’s every bit as trapped as he was at the Winter Palace, or by Meredith, or by Uldred and his demons, and he can’t be, not here, not with so many lives in his hands. not after Haven.

he needs it when he wakes up shouting, drenched in sweat, from another nightmare where he’s back there, trapped with demons who’ve murdered or enslaved your brothers and sisters and are trying to break you next, or pinned under Meredith’s thumb, doing things that he knows are wrong, he knows, but she’s his commanding officer and he trusts her, so how wrong can they really be? he needs it, first thing when he opens his eyes, to know he’s got an escape route, a backup plan. he’s safe.

and when he finally gives in to temptation, that thing he wants more than anything that he really shouldn’t let himself want, when the Inquisitor confesses that she wants to be with him when this is all over and he very dramatically sweeps aside everything on his desk, his whole life, shattering it all over the floor, he needs that little patch of sky to remind him it’s real. he’s free to leave whenever he needs to.

and that’s what allows him to stay.

[sp4ceboo]

listen to me rant about predebut unwhitewashed ateez:

firstly, i apologise for this absolute shitpost, and i don't know where any of the photos are from so apologies if they're acc urs or smt.

secondly, i apologise for the fact none of this is in order because this originally started as predebut yungi and then descended into ot8 chaos.

thirdly, i apologise for the huge rambles about whitewashing and fine men.

lastly, i apologise because i have no clue how to change size of pictures in tumblr so some are massive and some are tiny (send help)

just look at this:

OK FIRSTLY LIKE MINGI'S ACNE?? i never thought i'd find acne attractive (like, i don't mind it, but my view on it has always been pretty neutral, it's just a thing that happens sometimes). erm like first of all thank you for debunking that stupid 'glass skin' thing because for the people who actually don't have glass skin it's such an expectation to live up to, and secondly you're fine as fuck. LIKE SHUT UP RN I WANT TO KISS HIM AUBAUVVFASIKYFSAA. and then there's that picture of him in the car which i can't find rn and he's like looking to the side and he highkey looks like keeho from p1h like um mingi u had no right to look that fine predebut like have you seen skz predebut they literally looked like infants?

everyone else under the cut

ok, onto exhibit b, yunho.

LOOK AT HIM. i actually don't know if this is predebut yunho because he looks damn good but the twitter post said so, so idk but like??? he was either 19 or sub 19 here like???? I DO NOT SEE 19 YEAR OLD MEN OUTSIDE ON THE STREET LOOKING AS FINE AS THIS. and if this picture isn't predebut well my arguement is still valid because the other pictures of him which i can't be bothered to add rn still look cute asf.

i love the predebut pictures of seonghwa because he's so unwhitewashed it's beautiful.

im pretty sure this is a picture of him from the third kq fellaz thingy, so that counts as predebut, but OMFG HIS SMILE??? AND HIS SKIN IS SO NICE AND LIKE UNWHITEWASHED?? LET MY BOY'S SKIN BREATHE OMFG-

here's predebut hongjoong:

LIKE????? HE'S SO CUTE I WANNA PUT HIM IN MY POCKET?? i know this post has disintegrated from me saying predebut ateez were fine to me just fawning over them being cute teenagers but like i would a hundred percent have fallen for them if they had been my classmates or anything so um yeah.

so onto yeosang:

like... the sass? the visuals? from day one? I SEE YOU BROTHER. also ignore how the pictures are getting like younger and younger ok finding predebut pictures is hard. oh yeah and did i mention whitewashing in this post like thank god the predebut pics aren't whitewashed.

ok now san:

LIKE EXCUSE ME???? I HAVE MANY WORDS TO SAY?? like umm he was a hundred percent a twig back then but like one look at his unwhitewashed face and i would have d i e d. he'd have been one of those guys i saw across the street and had to do a double take because he's highkey FINE. also it doesn't help that i acc know a guy who kind of looks like a mix of predebut san and predebut seonghwa who i highkey had a crush on last year but um tmi.

so onto wooyoung:

i acc had to look hard for a good picture where i wasn't about to start cracking up over his bowl cut so we're just gonna accept this one. as you can see he already had the 'i am a kpop idol with trendy shoes on' thing going on so his fate was already destined. also more appreciation for no whitewashing like THANK YOU THANK YOU AAAAAH. also another guy i'd probably have a crush on if they were in my class.

last but not least jongho:

i know there were many funnier pictures i could have put on but like um i just really love this photo bc he just looks so... jongho. erm and let me mention one more time that his skin is breathing!! he's not whitewashed!! what a man.

congrats if you made it to the end of this absolute batshit crazy post

[nopeferatu]

saw you post a lot of brokeback mountain content so i want to know if you have a list of your favorite brokeback mountain fanfic :)

I do post a lot abt Brokeback Mountain, but I've never actually sat down and made a formal, ranked list of all the Brokeback fics I love?? I have a collection on ao3 called "My Favorite Fanfics" which is where I put fics that I like beyond a simple bookmark, and there are more BBM fics in there than any other fandom I've read for haha. Unfortunately, this list isn't actually comprehensive as there are many that were either exclusively posted to the old BBM LiveJournal groups, or they were posted to LJ then later deleted and are now word documents that get passed around by email.

If I were to rank my fave BBM fics in a top 10 list, it'd look like this:

10. Once Upon a Time by rhye

A happy-ending ranch AU composed of short chapters based on fairy tale themes. As in fairy tales, some plot elements may be far-fetched, the angst runs deep, there is fluff, and they all lived happily ever after.

9. Life Ain't Easy by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)

Jack convinces Ennis to come work on the Twist Ranch after they leave Brokeback Mountain, but life ain’t easy.

8. Come Hell or High Water by Just_K

Ennis Del Mar makes the decision to leave his simple life behind and follow the brazen Jack Twist across the state of Wyoming. With life in Texas heavy on their mind, the two come to realize that dreaming big comes with a price. Will they be able to hold together when the past threatens to tear them apart, or does love truly conquer all?

7. A Place to Hide by Way2

A possible portrait of Jack's relationship with Lureen during the years prior to his reunion with Ennis.

6. it could get easier (if you want it to) by biblionerd07

Ennis decides he has more to say after their fight at the trailhead, so he makes a phone call. And it changes his life.

5. A Various Language by Destina

This is the happy ending they deserved.

4. The Sky Above by mediumorange

August, 1983. Ennis’ postcard to Jack has come back stamped ‘Return to Sender.’ He finds Jack in Lightning Flat, determined to help his father save the failing Twist ranch. His father does not want to be saved.

3. Roots by 271horses

This story tells the complete life story of Earl and Rich. It follows them from deprived childhoods, through the maturation process, the events that bring them together, and the deep, abiding love that grows between them.

Unfortunately I can't link this one as it lives in a word doc, getting passed around from email to email after 271horses purged his LJ acc. It's fantastic, tho! A lot of users on the old Brokeback forums hold it in high regards, as you'll see lots of posts mentioning the great BBM Earl/Rich prequel fic and how good it is.

2. Somebody, Somewhere by mediumorange

If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it. Slowly but surely, Ennis finds a way to stand it.

1. Widower for One Year by 271horses

This story concentrates on what would have become of Ennis after he was left alone trying to deal with the finality of his loss in that beaten up old trailer, still mired in his miserable life.

This one is another one of those that gets passed around through email and I consider it one of the greatest tragedies of the fandom bc it is, no joke, the BEST fic I have ever read in my god damned life, but it was never finished. 271horses purged his LJ acc before finishing it. I actually stopped reading once I got close to the end bc I don't want to deal with the fact that it will never be completed, so for me to confidently call it the best fic ever without actually having finished it says a lot.

[crimeronan]

hi I saw you posting about the silt verses. it sounds interesting so I googled it but I'd like to hear what You have to say about it!!

(I'd also like to ask if it has any emphasis on bug-related horror bc that's a huge no from me, but if it doesn't I think I'll take a listen)

oh lord i have So Much to say about it. asking me what i have to say about the silt verses is like asking me what i have to say about call down the hawk or the owl house, like. it's a piece of media that is so immaculately conceived and well-executed that i can meta about Literally Every Single Line. if you've followed me for a while you probably know that i have high standards for horror media bc it's my most-consumed comfort genre; the silt verses is my fave piece of horror media Of All Time.

as for bugs, they don't play a huge role in the overarching story, but i do FOR SURE remember some imagery about parasites, insects, and people being transformed into bug-like creatures. so i'd look up episode warnings prior to consuming it, i can't remember off the top of my head which episodes specifically involve that.

the silt verses is, on the surface, a typical horror story about another world where gods are created through belief & fed through sacrifice. different gods have attracted cult followings, some gods are outlawed, some are not. it's stuff you've probably seen before if you're an avid supernatural horror fan.

however the writers then take the time to do absolutely Vicious and Scathing social commentary about pretty much every leftist topic you can think of. cult abuse, late-stage capitalism, corporate "we're all a family" speak, war, fascism, the creation of Unpersons with unhoused and mentally ill populations, prison violence, police violence, copaganda, generational trauma, environmental catastrophe, rural vs city mindsets and the political manipulation behind them..... Every Single Plot Point and piece of imagery serves a social commentary purpose. every single god and political movement is a transparent metaphor or allegory for our own world.

but what really keeps me coming back to it are the character arcs. from a horror writer's perspective, i can see exactly how carefully those arcs were sketched and plotted out. each of the narrators is dynamic and goes through a huge amount of character development -- positive for some, Horrifically Negative for others. characters are frequently caught between a rock and a hard place, forced to choose between two things they've always wanted...... and they also frequently choose Wrong.

and then they have to live with the consequences of those choices.

the protags are all messy and flawed and complicated, the antags are all messy and grounded and Very Real, and the relationships between people grow in organic ways that make me go MMM... before falling apart in equally organic ways. if you've ever enjoyed the same kind of desperate codependent and messy relationships that i most often write, HOO BOY you will have a good time with this podcast.

and if you like stories about people who are Genuinely Trying Their Best In The Face Of Impossible Circumstances, you'll ALSO get a lot of mileage out of this. it's a show where people make a lot of terrible decisions but also, people care So So So So So Fucking Much. really hits that sweet spot between nihilistic "everyone sucks" media and saccharine "everyone is always good at heart, all the time" media.

it also features some of the most stunning voice acting i've ever heard, not just in podcasts but in any media, ever. méabh de brún, b. narr, jimmie yamaguchi, and lucille valentine in particular all fucking KILL IT. like DAMN

and i can wholeheartedly recommend it without adding this, but if it's important to you: like 98% of the characters are queer. lots of trans cast members, lots of gay relationships, ace rep, los jibbities who get to be just as Fucking Terrible and embarrassing and hopeless as the characters in my fave White Man (TM) tv shows. u know how it is. i want queer people who are shitty bitches, always. and the silt verses DELIVERS

it's just. really good. i realize that this doesn't even get into the intricacies of who the characters are and what they want and what happens, bc like i said, i can talk about this show for a novel's length of meta. but these are the broad strokes of what has me in love with the narrative. it's So Good.

[padfootastic]

hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3

i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!

i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.

anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!

omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.

ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!

i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:

annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.

with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.

anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.

also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.

[silvermistyy]

I’ve recently had this headcanon about percico and how many kids they’d have (if they decided to have any; I’ve also hc’d them to not opt for any and just be aimlessly wandering soulmates who are too afraid to have kids of their own).

Anyways, I was thinking that if they decide to have kids, they’d want a bit more than the average. No only children, two is too low, and three is like the lowest they’d go. I usually imagine like around 5, maybe more.

I think they’d want more just because both of them have had experiences where they’ve been very alone, under different circumstances.

(long post ahead warning bc I don't know how to shut tf up lmao)

Percy grew up with a single working class mom whom he didn’t get to see often, and had to deal with an abusive stepfather alone. There was no one in his home life that could really have his back all the time or stick up with or for him, and it’s shown in how defensive and protective he is over his friends. After he gets claimed at camp, Percy is sad that he has to relocate to a new cabin alone because he had found comfort and a small sense of togetherness in the Hermes cabin. He didn’t want to be alone again. Then later he does find out he has a half-sibling, but then Tyson is busy and can’t be around often, which does make Percy sad. Then his mom later has Estelle, and he’s of course very fond of her, but he’s much older and it’s just a different experience.

Nico, on the other hand, did grow up with a sibling. He and Bianca were very close and she was his only family for most of his young formative years. Then she passed away and he was left alone, grieving but also without anybody else to be there for him. Then he found Hazel, and he was older and made sure to take care of her as much as he could. He brought her back to life knowing that she could possibly be taken away again but still did it, because he knew what it was like to be alone and he didn’t want that for either of them. It would have been doubly devastating for him if Hazel had been taken away because that would have been the second time he’s had to go through that.

So, TLDR: Percy’s motivation for having lots of kids would be that he never had any siblings that he really got to grow up with and have his back when his mom or his friends couldn’t be there. He wouldn’t want his kids to feel alone and he would want them to be surrounded by a close circle. For Nico, the idea is that he did grow up with siblings and the trauma of having to go through losing his sister was not only awful because of the grief, but also because there was no one else there for him. I would think he would have this small bit of paranoia thinking that if anything were to happen to him, or Percy, or any of their children, at the very least their kids would have each other. Of course it wouldn’t reduce the pain or the impact of that loss, but it would maybe make it more bearable because they would have each other.

Also Nico has an inheritance. They don’t have to worry about how expensive it’ll be to raise those damn kids lmao

[inchidentally]

(not gonna post the link you sent bc I don't wanna tread on other people's stuff since we're all out here in the tumblr wild to talk about these rich men and their problematic silly sport in any way we want to. I'll reply with my thoughts but remember that they're my own and I am NOT telling someone else how to feel)

okay so fully removing the ship lenses and assuming they're not wishing any hostility towards Oscar or any future teammate of Lando's at McLaren: holy SHIT no. fuckballs NOOOO.

ok from a purely practical/realism standpoint Carlos will not be taking any steps backward. based purely on Ferrari's overall performance and the fact that Charles is a damn good match as a teammate (hi Singapore) Carlos is exactly where he should be for WDC contention. McLaren are out there competing hard with them and with the Mercs but to see them outpacing those cars would be solely down to the youth and combined competitiveness of Lando and Oscar they've invested in - so still no dice for Carlos in the foreseeable. I'm not F1 smart enough to know how likely it would be that he'd go to RBR but even there I'm not sure how he and Max would work together again with Max's dominance and ummmm Carlos' least favorite thing being following team orders to concede to his teammate. followed by what would become Carlos' first least favorite thing which would be to drive Max's car since development only works one way at RBR. and that's all assuming that Lando stays with McLaren and that Oscar chooses to leave. the first being reasonably likely and the second is too soon to tell. then there's the fact that by that point Lando would not be considered McLaren youth anymore and they'd be highly unlikely to bring on someone even older to partner him. ((add to that the fact that Carlos will never be an Alonso and will definitely get married early in his thirties and move on to different types of racing or maybe even a different field in racing)) Lando will be a Lewis and stick with F1 competitively chasing wins and WDCs (especially if he can outlast Max's boredom threshold) and he won't be interested in nostalgia hires unless they can help him with that goal.

but moving on to the more parasocial fandom side of it…

honestly the biggest surprise to me is seeing people think that they were equals ??? during their season together?? Lando was a tiny baby who has talked about how being partnered with Carlos fed his anxieties and insecurities! he saw this seasoned driver learning the car faster than him, knowing the circuits better than him and speaking to the team with more confidence than him. lbr when his "trophy" was Carlos' champagne while Carlos celebrated his podium, Lando did NOT look completely happy being forced into that celebration (and I seem to recall later on him even ruefully saying "it wasn't my celebration but anyway"). Carlos literally saw Lando as a baby brother and treated him as such but he also had no clue what to do with Lando's darker moods besides try to cheer him up (and sometimes fail).

I am someone who likes to keep the streams of real life and rpf totally crystal clear and separate and I also like to keep the reality of who these drivers are free of anything I imagine about them for fantasy. when Carlos isn't winning or at least happy with his result, he isn't remotely a team player (and with a team like Ferrari it's hard to blame him sometimes lol). I guess for some people? it's easy to think that Carlos would become a totally different driver when on a team with Lando from ~the power of love~… but that would also have to hand-wave when he actually was Lando's teammate. (it would also hand-wave that Carlos and Charles are also good friends and much more flirty and lovey dovey but Carlos still fights against Charles like a beast when he's in the car)

this man is in it to win it. if you called him soft for a teammate or said that the foremost reason he gave Lando DRS in Singapore was for Lando's benefit he would laugh in your face. at no point in the incredibly stressful final laps was Carlos going "aw shucks I hope my lil buddy can be up there with me let me rig this to make it happen" bc by that point in a race they are thinking in nothing but driving binary and /how do I cement my win against all the bastards behind me/. Carlos does NOT revolve even a small part of his racing career around Lando or any other driver. he doesn't even regard much of his team's input (again, probably for the best with Ferrari). even when he gets direct help from Charles following Ferrari strategy (see Singapore) I still can't really recall that he was overly effusive in acknowledging that fact. he's modeled himself much more on the F1 generations of more like two generations back. and why shouldn't he? so I do not get how people can still think that drivers - especially Carlos' type - are remotely friendly with anyone when they're on the circuit. sure they might get even more pissed off at a driver they aren't keen on but literally /everyone/ is their enemy and their own result is their one goal. that's literally their job.

and as Lando says himself, no one in F1 including him wants to beat anyone more than their own teammate. again. how do people think that Lando would take this entire career he's worked so incredibly hard for and make it about a guy he golfs with (in groups, folks) and occasionally goes to dinner with (which he also does with Daniel) and talks to during the drivers parade (he also consistently seeks out Max, George and Yuki) but has a thriving professional and social life that has nothing to do with Carlos? yuk|erre, maxie| and ga|ex are out there doing far more shippy type things than car|ando all the damn time but when have they ever let that affect their desire to win or beat each other??

nothing about little unseasoned raw lamb cutlet Lando with hairy alpha Carlos at McLaren at all resembles what their dynamic would be as teammates. and the fact that Lando is really liking this new feeling of being the superior favored driver bodes horribly for how he'd react to Carlos swinging his huge sexy cojones back into McLaren expecting to be the number one again by age and experience. folks should enjoy getting to see them during the drivers parade and out golfing as non teammates bc the adorable content of 2019 would curdle into something grotesque if they now had to do goofy challenges while slowly learning to hate the sight of each other during briefings as they sought to supplant the other in the standings.

in no way on this or any other earthly planes can I be convinced that having them compete on the same team again would be anything other than a trainwreck and result in them not even speaking for the next 10-15 years.

[butchyeons]

Love the 3mix au, any spare headcannons sfw or nsfw it’s up to u? keep up the good writing love ur work :D

omg tysm!! i’ve got other fic ideas so i’m sure you’ll see more from them. but for now here’s some stuff i accidentally left out of the original post/other stuff i’ve thought about! these are all sfw lmao

every night nayeon makes jeongyeon’s lunch. she also meal preps for jihyo, too. jeongyeon is more of a snacker due to her being outside and on her feet all the time- she just doesn’t have a big appetite. so nayeon makes sure to pack her lighter, protein/nutrient packed snacks + a few refillable water bottles. meanwhile with jihyo, she needs to eat bigger meals- she doesn’t get time to snack throughout the day due to the nature of her job. she also leaves for work for a few days at a time before coming back home for a few days. so nayeon does her best to meal prep things that she knows jihyo likes and will actually eat. both of them also get handwritten notes every single time bc of course they do (jeongyeon’s construction crew always makes fun of them, but she doesn’t care one bit)

since jeongyeon’s getting older, and bc she’s so clumsy and loves to just not lift things correctly, her back hurts a lot. lmao. so jihyo often gives her massages before they go to bed, so long as she has the energy for it

jihyo rlly wants a cat but jeongyeon rlly wants a dog, which is why they haven’t made a decision on getting a pet still

jihyo also rlly loves frogs. like they’re probably a special interest of hers. she rlly wants a pet frog but nayeon is terrified of them 😭 so she has settled with a tiny frog plushie that she keeps on the dashboard in her car. nayeon gave it to her for her first birthday they got to celebrate together after getting together

she also has a set of scrubs that are covered in pictures of frogs. the kids really love them. she also has a set of scrubs with unicorns, tigers, and cats. often times she’ll keep little toys and pieces of candy in her pockets for the really young kids she works with. more than once they’ve found toy cars in the washing machine from where she forgot to take them out of her pockets

jeongyeon and nayeon were actually next door neighbors growing up. nayeon’s mom always told her to stay away from jeongyeon- “she’s a troublemaker” “she’s one of those”. but we all see how that turned out

one of their favorite things to do all together is having a movie night once a month. they all pick of movie (which is so hard bc they all have different tastes) and then afterwards they will critique the ever loving hell out of it. they keep a list of the movies they watched over the year and have an awards ceremony at the end of the year in the damn living room 😭 they all get dressed up for it!! nayeon picks all the winners, much to jeonghyo’s dismay

jeongyeon loves to bicker with both of them. she’s always teasing them. najeong have argued like an old married couple since they were kids, and nayeon swears up and down that’s a love language all of its own. jeongyeon always has to find some way to get under jihyo’s skin. but they both love it so much. meanwhile, nahyo fully never left the honeymoon phase. they’re always so sappy with each other!! they’re each other’s babies fr- emotional support futch/femme + their big dumb loser idiot butch

ok that’s all for now. i rlly love this au so bad if y’all can’t tell. i’m gonna try to write more for them soon!!

[if-confessions]

As a writer and a reader, who has been around this community for the last three years, it has been crazy seeing the change in the if fandom as a community.

It used to be a positive environment for supporting independent game creators, but there is so much negativity against IF writers now. the readers are pushy, critical and demanding, expect games to cater to their exact preferences or be customisable to the point it might as well be a 'fill in the blanks' game instead of a narrative. IF writers are antagonistic towards each other, resentful of other creators success. There is a trend that when games/demos are successful, the authors become the target of attacks that seem to be looking for any excuse to take them down, and punish them for their popularity. The result is that a lot of games that are in the alpha stage / completed no longer use tumblr at all, which is a shame, because it was a unique opportunity for readers to engage and support an indie game creator.

I think the IF fandom really needs to do some soul searching on the type of environment it has created for indie game development / IF writing.

[I am assuming Anon meant the Tumblr/CoG scene of IF, as this is not a sentiment/trend shared by the overall IF community. Other scenes of IF don't care or even reject customisation "expected" here (doesn't mean they don't have their issues either).]

LOL, Anon. I was having an eerily similar conversation about the customisation the other day.

Communities do change overtime. As older members leave (because they don't enjoy the Thing-tm anymore, they don't have time for it, they don't like where the community is moving, they've been rejected by the community, etc...) and newer members arrive, the dynamics adapts to the current members. Sometimes it is for the better (more positive contacts, barring less-desirable members creating conflict from staying, etc...), sometimes it's for the worse (like in your message, attracting more problematic members or enabling the worst in people).

An issue with Tumblr that other communities may not have is how "decentralised" and lawless it is. Some groups may have guidelines/rules for interactions (resource blogs/authors asks rules), but you can't control all the members like you could in a Forum, for example. There is no Code of Conduct that limits what is and isn't acceptable (aside from the very board Tumblr CoC and even a lot of shitty things can be posted). There is no mods that can take down a post that will sent the community aflame (unless it is Staff bc the post was against their ToC/CoC). There is no consequences against bandwagon hate/harassment (even with the block button). So you end up with... well, this...

It would be nice if there was a bit more unity in the community, but that would require many people changing their behaviour and essentially stop being complete asswipes. And they are not the kind to stop shitting on others...

I'm pretty sure that a lot of those issue could be solved if people:

stopped being a dick in someome's dms/asks (should be a given, but damn are anons wild sometimes) <- like +75% of the issues would be gone with just this

would be respectful when sending messages/commenting (not making request, being pushy, etc...)

stopped following authors/projects not making them happy (that's a vicious cycle, easy to start hating on them...)

didn't put their problems and frustrations on strangers on the internet*

went outside to touch some grass (or take a break from Tumblr, it will do wonders!)

*This does not apply to the confession booth btw.. I'm talking reg accounts here. This applies to everyone, btw. You'd think this would be common knowledge to be decent to one another... but I guess not.

As a side note, to remind everyone that:

you do not have to have an open inbox if you don't want to

you do not have to have your dms open either

you do not have to allow anonymous messages

you do not have to answer every messages you receive or reply to every comment you get

you can trash any message you do not feel comfortable answering

you can delete comments/replies you do not feel comfortable with

(creator) you do not have to include every request readers make

you can block/unfollow users for any reason (or no reason)

you can block/report hateful anonymous messages

you can restrict reblogs/replies

you can change your mind at any time about accepting a kind of asks (like the NSFW ones)

you do not have to be on Tumblr every free moment you have

you do not have to interact with every post crossing your dashboard

Having boundaries is good, setting and voicing those boundaries is better, enforcing those boundaries is extra important.

Until then...

🤷

Now making a fill-in the blank IF would be a fun idea...

[old comments in tags: be the change you want to see i guess im just trying to stay silly here /]

Under the cut, some more rambling and wild assumptions about how we got here.

===> Increased entitlement in the community

Note: this is a generalisation. Not every reader is entitled, not every request is outrageous, and not every author is a pushover. We are talking about visible trends.

There's no denying that it has had quite the impact on the community and how games are set. Gone(-kinda) are the days with completely unique characters with a unique voice and its set path, hail the rule of customisation that inevitably becomes too overwhelming for any creator to keep track and complete the story. Is the "CoG expectations" the culprit, there? With the CoG to Tumblr exodus, yaknow...

But it must have started from somewhere to have those vocal entitled readers hounding creators for all this stuff, they can't have appeared out of nowhere! Twine games from the 2010s were not chokefull of customisation...

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if it all started with some minor request for customisation, which was accepted by the author, which may have made other readers realise they too could have requests or expect the same kind of customisation in other project, and this snowballed into... *wave at the mess*, creating a vicious cycle of base customisation expectations (which are getting insane...), shunning pieces who do not fit those expectations, and still having more special requests*. *Honestly, the authors could just accept those request but as like paid content. Oh, you want more that will definitely fuck my whole timeline of planned work? Tip me like 100$ and I will...

At the same time, and this is an observation that has been accentuated with the kinds of asks I've gotten here, some authors have not helped the situation either. With people almost begging for interactions and notes or just to please the readers because they are interested in that stilly little project (or the pressure from blowing up, or before the idea is set in stone), some authors will seriously bend over and backwards for those requests, even if it means forgoing the OG plans altogether because it doesn't fit with the promised request.

Readers feels more empowered to ask -> there is a pressure to cater to readers to get interactions or the request has become part of the base expectations -> request is accepted, but author might feels resentful -> readers feels more entitled to ask -> etc...

or

Readers feel more empowered to ask -> the author refuses -> readers put pressure on the author because another one accepted it or iT Is cOmMon KnOwLeDge -> author feels resentful towards the community...

Which is kind of related to point number 2...

===> Numbers go up and Jealousy

Note about this point: I am not talking about the want to be seen by other people, to feel like your message has been heard, to have your presence acknowledged. That's what we are kinda all doing by putting our stuff out there.

Every time I get an ask about someone worrying that to do have enough traction on their project or get zero interactions and they have lost all their motivations or are resentful to newer projects blowing up*, I honestly struggle to see a positive future for this scene. It seems like everything is about notes and reblogs and how many followers you have and how many ratings you can get and how many asks you get and etc... *see the no demo discussion

What is supposed to be a hobby for 99% of us is turning into some ugly race to have the highest number of *wave again at things*, by tanking other creators rating average, manipulating your followers to boost your own, creating rumours about a project/author, sending hate anons, creating dumb drama, stealing/plagiarising whole ass games, etc... Just to be at the top and have the biggest number. Numbers, I feel like I need to point out, means absolutely nothing outside of this website (or even this scene of IF). I really don't understand this dumb race...

And it is so frustrating to see, because we should be hyping each other up, discussing each others fav games, being excited to see another voice join and create stuff. It's not like we have to all be the best of friends and blind ourselves from any misgivings. No, we should still be able to criticise constructively or call out bad behaviour. But the whole envy and jealousy* oozing from the community is really... bleh. *doesn't mean you can't be jealous/envious of someone else, I know I am. Just use those feelings creatively, not to put down yourself or others.

Same with the whole notes/interaction thing. Outside affirmation is great, it really is, and boy does it gives a nice boost to the ego and the energy levels to continue when you get some (especially when the other person is gushing about your project). But basing all your motivation to create on outside approval will lead to a lot of pressure to perform when you get it, despair and disappointment when you don't, and resentment when you see other get more.

===> Parting notes

Ugh... I spent too long on this shit. I'm going for a walk before I get more sad. Then, I'm coming back to play my friend's game and create something weird.

[slowdripsunrise]

jfc okay so i have forgotten/been too lazy to write up reveiws here i apparently havent updated since. lone women which is well. so ive read a shit ton since then so i'm going try my best to write up as much as i can in this post bc i don't want to just. stop and skip over stuff. so well. here we go. spoilers for various books under the cut, i'll tag them all !

first book i finished after i last updated was silver nitrate by silvia moreno-garcia. been a while but damn do i remember the fucking vibes. absolutely killer vibes and atmosphere, and the plot was fun and interesting; i do remember being a bit confused in one of the final scenes fighting the guy but it wasnt enough to take me out of the story. the characters felt real and i could feel their love of movies and maybe each other off the page, definitely recommend if you're looking for an atmospheric, creepy little book.

next (and i'll just group these together) i read the poppy war trilogy by r. f. kuang ! absolutely wonderful storytelling and the characters were interesting and loveable. i think that this story succeeds in being one of the few good "war stories" as in it doesn't glorify or make light of any aspects of the war. there are good moments and bright spots throughout, but in the end pretty much every single character we know and love ends up dead, and before they're dead, they've been shaped so thoroughly by the war around them that there is no way anyone could have come out of this series thinking that it in any way romanticized the events. i loved everything about it and more. but while i did love the series. tbh i don't agree with everyone saying that its the most serious and intellectual and groundbreaking book in the entire world. yes it is groundbreaking and yes it is based on a lot of real life horrific events, but it's also. extremely entertaining. it's written beautifully and has some very poignant scenes that i love, and i am gonna be honest i lost where i was going with this point. i think what i'm trying to say is like before i read it, i saw a lot of people on the internet saying that it is like. the highest peak of literature and such and like. for me, it's mostly just a damn good time. i go into most books looking for entertainment (meaning like. i would like to feel emotions, not necessarily happy ones, just emotions in general) and what i think a lot of people made it seem like, was ONLY an epic tome about the brutality of war, the military, and colonization. and it absolutely is about that ! i am not docking points for it being about those things, in fact if it hadn't had all these hard hitting topics i wouldn't have liked it as much. but it's ALSO about rin, kitay, and nezha, and how they love and hate each other. and sometimes i think people lean too much into one aspect of the book, one way or the other (i have absolutely seen the inverse of this, people forgetting about the colonialism and militarization aspects in an impressive show of hypocrisy. which... is worse imo.) but idk. i have no idea what i am trying to say i just like this book yall.

next oml. okay again grouping them together for my own sake but i read the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer ! this series was such a creepy and weird and offputting good time i ate that shit right up. the first book and the biologists pov are my favorites, and all of the insight we get from her and the first book into area x was just. so compelling i could not put that shit down. i'm pretty sure the second i finished in the hospital lol i was INVESTED. and honestly. i did really like the second book. not as much as the first, but i don't think it was bad or underwhelming compared to the first. once i got past the pov shift, i really liked controls pov partly because he is just some guy. like he is just so average and banal, and seeing this set against the absurdity of the rest of the book was really interesting. i liked how even though we weren't IN area x, the southern reach still had that otherworldly and offputting suspenseful energy, even in a familiar setting (office building type i mean. as opposed to weird as fuck forest). that and also i am deep into my f1 phase so like i kept picturing control as checo perez. like hes just so guy to me like hes just a normal guy that has no fucking clue whats going on and thats really funny and awesome to me. like man. anyway the third wasnt my favorite, but i still really like the series as a whole and will probably read the 4th one coming out whenever it does.

NEXT. sharks in the time of saviors by kawai strong washburn. did i cry. maybe. did i really like the story. yes. it was definitely a change of pace for me after reading the above books but the story was lovely and magical and engaging and very sad and i enjoyed every bit of it.

after that i read scattered all over the earth by yōko tawada, which is a story that i kinda have mixed feelings about? i listened to the audio book and the narrator did such a wonderful job, i loved listening to the two man characters talk about language in the mc's made up language, panska. and if the book was just about that, i probably would have liked it more, exploring language and the loss of it; however one of the side characters constantly get's misgenders when the story is outside of her pov. and it's like. really fucking distracting. so like i guess i don't have very mixed feelings about it lol. i liked one bit, definitely did not like another bit, and the rest of the book wasn't really strong enough to sway me back into the "i like this book and think it's interesting" camp. although if you can get past the blatant transphobia, the audio book really is nice to listen to, especially coming off a post surgery high.

next i read the ghost bride by yangsze choo ! this was another really atmospheric, palpable book. i could feel the setting, the humidity, the smells, all of it and it was so good! an engaging story, i'm pretty sure i read this one in a day or two. the characters were fun, the plot moved quickly in a way that made sense, and exploring the realms of the dead and the living with the characters was so fun, definitely recommend !

im gonna wrap this post up here mostly bc im hungry but i still have a lot more to update on ! if u made it this far thank you and also im sorry. happy reading!