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smores100 · 5 years ago

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once again we’re in full agreement lol. What’s your take on s3 remakes you’ve watched? Wondering how you feel about Skam FR as it’s kind of a similar situation to me where the chemistry & beauty is there but the writing and style is iffy (overwrought &overdramatic). My favorite s3 is druck. As a wlw I had high hopes for españa but it was p slow/v desexualized—a whole discussion, but my other gay friend & I were disappointed given how remakes with guys don’t hold back in that respect.. Thoughts?

Honestly re: wtfock tho I really do wonder if they had like one good writer in the room surrounded by fools. Bc it really does feel like some group projects I’ve been in where I feel like I’m the only one who’s not a fucking fool and carry the whole thing while having to fend off bad ideas (but when the majority rules, those bad ideas/execution get put in). I wonder if that’s what happened w wtfock.

re: wtfock, lol group projects are the worst….idk what wtfock’s writing process was like, but i’d love to know it. according to their wiki there were 3 writers this season? all seem to be male, naturally. did the two other writers have good ideas but there was a main writer who overruled them and did his own thing? or maybe they’re the rl one brain cell squad, that would explain a lot :p in any case, i’m unimpressed (friday’s clips did not help with that).

as for the other part of your ask….oh damn i have so many Thoughts on that, lol. this is probably gonna get long and messy, but you asked for it!

* druck - my absolute favorite. it’s the only one i’ve watched since s1, so that definitely played a part in my emotional investment and attachment. still, there was more to it than that. it was the closest to og imo in vibe and style (it felt small, real, lowkey, quiet, natural like og, as opposed to - as you said - overwrought and overdramatic + overproduced like the others); they cast an actual trans guy to play a trans character, if you wanna talk about a skam remake doing something REVOLUTIONARY? druck is the one; i loved matteo’s and david’s characterizations, how they both had a bit of isak and even in them, and the role reversal in some scenes, made things feel fresh *and* fit their characters/story; i LOVE that teens matteo and david were played by actual teens michi and lukas!! they’ve completely ruined me for all other remakes, bc thissssss is how it’s supposed to be! thisssss is how it should look like! THEY ARE KIDDOS. and they (druck and michi/lukas) truly captured what it’s like to be young and fall in love for the first time, the awkwardness and the nervousness and stuttering and fumbling around, the softness and pureness and innocence of it all!!! also they have THE BEST dynamic - other people might prefer all the hot kissing and steamy making out and the smouldering looks, but me? i just couldn’t get enough of their dumb chaotic energy, best friends who love each other deeply and are also constantly little shits to one another. gimme them pranking each other and playfighting every day! and then being soft and THE HANDS and matteo being a clingy koala basking in david’s affection :3 i also loved how for the most part they didn’t just copy/paste og’s storyline, they made some changes and knew how to make *other* changes accordingly for it to make sense and fit the story *they* were telling - for example, replacing the ‘call your gf’ scene with matteo’s panic attack/breakdown (one of my fave scenes), or their reunion at the end of ep 7 (replacing the desperate kissing + sex with a comforting and relieved yet also bittersweet and melancholic hug), or even matteo getting advice from his drug dealer instead of the school’s doctor, lol. also THE BEST BOY SQUAD, hands down. and matteo is my favorite isak bc to me he felt like his own character instead of just another isak, he was different and reletable and a constant Mood. that being said - it wasn’t perfect and it had its issues. there were a few times when i did feel they stuck too close to og scenes and it didn’t *entirely* work for me, just felt a bit off; i will forever be disappointed that they didn’t directly address and acknowledge matteo’s mental state/depression, bc there were enough signs imo to indicate that he did suffer from something. they mentioned ‘therapy’ in mia’s, alex’s and kiki’s cases, i truly thought they would with matteo as well, but alas, they dropped the ball on that one; i was extremely upset with david’s outing, but i’ve since calmed down and have managed to see it in a more positive light, tho i still have mixed feelings about it and am not fully on board with that decision, still wish it had been done differently (but at least! it wasn’t brushed off and was addressed immediately and eventually led to david having agency and yelling out his pain!!! which was good and important and cathartic); also eps 8 and 9 were pretty messy writing-wise, things either didn’t make sense or would’ve made more sense had the clips were organized differently (that random ping pong clip….?). overall tho, the good outweighed the bad, and it remains my fave

* skam france - now that’s a tricky one. the way i felt about it in the first half of the season, is different from the way i felt about it in the second half of the season, is different from the way i feel about ever since watching druck’s s3. it’s funny you should say how similar it is to wtfock for you, bc i’ve been thinking the same thing for quite some time. those neighboring countries sure have a shared flair for the dramatic! fr’s s3 was pretty much the first s3 i watched (i gif-watched half of skamit, couldn’t get into it). i wasn’t planning to (i was extremely unimpressed by the couple of s1 eps i tried watching, and same by axel’s acting in those first two seasons), but even is the loml and they got me gooood with their eliott pov trailer, which might have affected my excitement over it during the first half. back then i really enjoyed it for the most part, despite some clips being rushed or missing the point thus not fully having the required effect (their locker room scene, for example, or the ‘generalizations are bad’ convo), or how much i hated basile (a character so obviously written by a man it’s amazing), or the cheesy piano music. there were enough good things for me to focus on instead (more in a bit) that i could ignore the things i didn’t like or weren’t as good imo. however, all the positivity got sucked out of me when yann noped tf out after lucas came out to him bc WAY TO MISS THE POINT OF SKAM!!! and things went downhill after the director’s IT’S NOT DISNEYLAND IT’S FRANCE 2019 comment. i’m getting all upset just thinking about it, but to say *that*, to explain that horrendous decision bc lowkey homophobic reactions are realistic!!! only to THEN be all ‘haha jk yann isn’t homophobic! we just wanted you to *think* he was! he’s actually an awesome friend who took several days to reflect on all his past wrongdoings while his bff was at home having a nervous breakdown bc he believed his bff hated him!’ ughhhhhhhhh, miss me with that shit. great that they had yann apologizing for his past comments, but the way in which it was done was for pure shock value and angst, completely ooc for his character (all season he was all ‘tell me tell me tell me let me help let me help let me help’ only to do *that*?? nahh), and interesting how out of everyone the only black character was the only one with a negative reaction (remind you of anyone), highlighted even more during ep 7 aka the ott lucas coming out tour. then ep 8, that should have been 100% all lucas and eliott and building up to eliott’s manic episode suddenly had that weird random pov changing clip in the middle of it which truly wtf, basile was still basile, lucas thanked chloe for outing him, more scenes felt rushed, they had sex in school where people could come and go in front of huge windows in broad daylight and luckily didn’t get poisoned from licking all that paint! and i did not like the flatshare, i absolutely hated mika and lisa kicking lucas out of his room - which he pays rent for! - and manon not even trying to put up a fight, and them being like ‘roommate isn’t just a place, it’s a way of living. that’s a family, and you’re more like a cousin.’ ‘a second cousin.’ ughhhhhh and then when eliott was recovering from his depressive episode, they *still* didn’t give lucas his room back or at least let eliott stay there, he was sleeping on the couch, i’m aldjlajdafj. can’t believe i’m gonna say it, but TAKE NOTES FROM WTFOCK. tl;dr there were some good moments in the second half, but i was feeling bitter more often than not about certain things, so my enjoyment wasn’t as high as when it first started. and after watching druck, druck’s brand is definitely much more my style. plus, i was already struggling with making myself believe axel and maxence were in their teens, but after druck it’s completely impossible, so i just pretend they’re in college or something lol. all my issues with it aside, i’d still rate it higher than wtfock, bc overall the writing was better, more coherent, and made much more sense. i also liked lucas’ friendship with the girls; i loved that instead of copying the underwater kiss + 21:21 like some others have, they came up with their own thing i.e. polaris, which i thought was lovely; the lucas/manon crying in the middle of the night together in front of the tv was one of my fave scenes of the season; also love how we were introduced to eliott on the first week! and they spent time together! and specifically the piano playing scene, ohhhh; and in general elu are sweet and i reeeeally like axel and maxence and their friendship. so yeah, it had some major issues, but i’d rather have a coherent story with something done for shock value and drama ONCE than an incoherent story with several shock value moments.

* skam espana - sorry to hear you girls were disappointed! i only watched half of it, so i can only comment on what i saw. i decided to binge watch s1 and give s2 a shot when i heard they were giving cris isak’s story - it felt a bit weird to me, but it was also something different and new, and i did have an appreciation for their decision to have a wlw season (also much more revolutionary to me than showing a gay bashing), so i was intrigued and willing to try it. sadly i didn’t really vibe with s1? it’s totally a personal preference i think, maybe even a cultural thing idk, but it felt very fast and loud and hectic to me, idrk how to explain it. i was just more into the chill more lowkey vibe of druck and skamnl. but i still gave s2 a shot, and idk, it still wasn’t my cup of tea. i thought it was ok for the most part, but there were some things that bothered me - joana/cris felt underdeveloped to me? and things b/w them felt like they were moving so fast from the second they met, like jona was so intense and forward ALL THE TIME, they had like 6 almost kisses in a really short time, like shhh slow down. i remember disliking their ‘call your gf’ scene, it felt really petty and kinda mean to me? bc i felt like joana came on to cris *really* strongly and *very* frequently, so cris was more than entitled to feel hurt and betrayed when she found out joana had a bf, but then cris was kissing a dude and joana positioned herself and her bf in front of cris so she’d see them kissing too, and i just didn’t like bc seriously?? cris is valid, just apologize to her and explain?? idr much else tbh, they had some really cute and sweet scenes afterwards, i’m still against doing the underwater kiss + 21:21 so i was kinda meh about that (tho aesthetically speaking it was BEAUTIFUL, and i’m like, fiiiiine girls deserve an underwater kiss too, i’ll allow it just this once!), and that cuddling clip in ep 6 i think was sweet and the last one i watched. like i said, i was less vibing with this remake, and iirc it was going on during druck’s s3 and skamnl’s s2 - which were my faves, plus skamfr was on too i think and i was lowkey following it too, so….there was just too much all at once and something had to go, and it was skamesp. it was also around the time when panaphobia-gate happened, so *shrugs* i’m not wlw myself so your opinion on it being desexualized is probably more valid than mine? i just know when i did watch, there was a lot of kissing and making out and being cute and touchy with each other, so i thought it was ok? as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t need to see a naked butt or anything like that to *get* it lol, i thought they were lovely! but that’s just me. i will say that my faaaave part was most definitely the cris/amira friendship. they were so wonderful! one of the best skam friendships imo. i might one day go back and finish the season just for the heck of it, but they didn’t do anything major or highly offensive that made me have negative feelings towards it, it was just a personal preference + circumstances (too many remakes!) that made me be less into it and drop it before the end.

#phallusophical #replies #sorry for the gigantic wall of text!#but like i said - you asked! haha #i'd put this under a read more but my blog theme makes it harder to read there so....sorry!#all those who aren't interested in my opinions just quickly scroll past this just this one time ty #aaaaanyway hope this answered your question??? 😊#skam remakes #long post #druck #skam france #wtfock #skam spain

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blue-hi · 5 years ago

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i’ve been awake since 4:30 am and it’s 9:00 now so i need to get this out because it’s been months and i havent been able to spit the whole thing out and i need to SAY something so i think i’ll jst yell into the void so

thanks

ive had insomnia since at least mid october. cant really remember now when it started. i’d keep waking up in th emiddle of the night, always around 2 or 3 am and it would take ages to get back to sleep.

ive never been one for all nighters and i like getting a full night’s sleep and all of a sudden i wasn;t getting it and for no reason too. this scared me. it still scares me. i reached out to my mom for idk emotional support??? i didn’t want to be alone

“this happens to other people too” started out as a way to help but the way she said it sounded like she was dismissing me and what was happening. like it would all clear up soon so i had no reason to bother her

then the week before halloween almost all my classes assigned projects or had a test and they were all assigned at the same time at the end of the week and were all due at the same time on halloween. the saturday before halloween and after i got all the assignments i slept particularly awfully and i just broke down in th emiddle of the library. like all day and i couldn’t stop. that scared me even more bc if it happened once it can happen again

im terrified. that’s the core of the issue

that day my mom and aunt got me a plane ticket to fly home for the next weekend to see if being home would fix things. we even had a doctor’s appointment it didn’t fix anything. the doctor told me things i already knew but also decided i had generalized anxiety disorder and that was why i couldn;t sleep even though i wasn;t scared until after it started and i slept terribly that night again. i was hysterical. i still had no idea why i couldn’t sleep i shouldn’t have paced that loud in the hallway but yeah i wanted attention i felt alone. maybe it was selfish but i just wanted a hug and i knew then i was in for the long haul and i didn’t want to be afraid AND be alone but my mom just yelled at me (which she had the right to i was being not-great) and i felt i was burdening her. that’s when i realized she either can’t or won’t be there with me or both

i went to the counselor at my school and i just vented. not all of this but some of it and i had other problems at the time like my major and some classes but those had all worked themselves out by the end of november i also went to the health center and got a little bottle of this drug called hydroxyzine and that started helping a little bit. i was taking tylenol pm every night before that and apparently this was something stronger

then thanksgiving rolled around and i was still having some issues. one thing i remember most vividly is twin and i were going to drive to our dad’s house for the day. normally i drive but i handed the keys to twin because i hadn’t slept well and didn’t feel like driving. my mom noticed and asked why i didn’t want to drive and i SHOULD have lied and said that i wanted twin to practice but i told he truth and said i felt too tired to drive and she rolled her eyes at me later in the break one morning she asked me how i slept again and i said poorly and i was still half asleep but i swear she scoffed

then i knew i REALLY couldn;t expect her to help me. not even with the sleeping but just with support.

i went back to the school counselor (different person though) and! my mom still doesn’t know about that visit. she doesn;t know that counselor said that insomnia sometimes predates depression symptoms. should i tell her that? that’s also terrifying. i managed to get out of high school without really any mental illness issues so i;m a lucky one but that’s what i’m scared about going forward

i feel like it’s not as serious as it feels and that no i don’t have anxiety and no i don’t have depression (yet) and that i should just suck it up until i do but also i can have emotions because i;m a fucking person and ‘m allowed to tell people about them without feeling like a burden or a fake bc god forbid i have a single negative emotion in front of someone. i’ve always been a “good girl low maintenance child” and FUCK that

weirdly i started to sleep well during finals week and these past 2 weeks on break too but i think that’s because the hydroxyzine started to kick in. except oops now my supply is low and i have about a week or two left until i completely run out and the little bottle says NO REFILLS LEFT so i have to figure out how to get more for the semester last night i tried to go to bed without taking one to see if i’ve gotten any better. news flash nothing’s changed without it and now everything that had gone away in the last 3 weeks all the anxiety and hopelessness and tiredness and terror all came back last night and right now i feel like i;m back in the library again bc i can’t stop crying

what if i can’t get more before the semester starts?? if i’m like this during break what’ll happen when i have to stress again?

i came downstairs at 8 to do organic chemistry on khan academy because if i can’t sleep then i might as well do something productive. mom came down to get ready for work and she saw me and asked me if i was upset about not sleeping again

i was an idiot and said yeah - that’s what i hate too. i want to be honest about mental health with people and how i’m doing but to stop this i need to lie to her. now i’ll always be fine! and she never has to know if i;m in a bad way just as she likes it and i feel a w f u l about it. it makes be feel petty and petulant but i’m non confrontational. i want to tell her everything i;ve written here and just be so honest she has to listen to me instead of dismissing me every time but every time she asks i clam up and i failed again this morning she accused me of wanting to feel scared because “i hadn’t tried everything yet”. she and family members for christmas sent me some things that are supposed to help like a light developed by insomniacs or a winter light and i really do appreciate all of it, but they all came when the medicine was working so i didn’t NEED it. last night was different because i am a scientist and am my own guinea pig and i wanted to see what would happen if i didn’t take the drugs. i’ll use all of that tonight in Phase 2 of the Worst Experiment Ever but she wouldn’t LISTEN to me when i said that either.

now i’ll just say nothing. why should she know it’s only caused both of us stress. i wish she would take this (insomnia! depression!! mental health woo!) as seriously as she took my acne when i was 12. still now if i have a zit she feels entitled to touch my face. do you wanna know how you can help??? stay away from me and don’t wonder why i kind of want to tell her. she’s coming back home in a couple of hours bc it’s new year’s eve and i might still be in a state who knows but i’ll choke again and she’ll yell at me again and nothing will have changed

people have asked me how my semester went and “it’s been a shitty one,” i wanna say but normally i just say that i’m glad it’s over only for my parents to swoop in and say “it can’t have been all that bad i mean you did well with your grades in the end” like !! i pulled that B in physics out of my ass! just because i did ok academically because i’m lucky and good at school doesn’t mean my health was great! my dad can’t help me either because i’ll say that my mental health recently isn’t as good as it could be and he just goes “aww sweetie.” and that’s it. nothing else. thanks dad. i know you don’t know what to do with that information and i don’t fault you for that because emotions have never taken precedence in either household (except for all the curse words i learned from my mom when she’s inconvenienced)

all of this and i still don’t know why i can’t sleep normally

thanks for reading this fkn novel all of this has been on my chest for a LONG time and i haven’t had the chance to say any of it and if i get the chance i’m afraid i’ll forget something (i probably did here, too). i truly mean thank you. this has been cathartic to write, even though i still need to go to a counselor or something. i hope your new year (and decade!) is bright

#i don't know what else to say or do

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the-boy-branithar · 6 years ago

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30 questions tag

Rules: Tag the person who tagged you, answer the questions and tag 20 people ! @7sorrows tagged me :0

1. How tall are you? 5’3

2. What color and style is your hair? Dirty blond with a bleached streak to the right, and I style it like reverse Jack Barakat hair because I’m cool and I wanna be him.

3. What color are your eyes? Blue

4. Do you wear glasses? No, I have pretty good vision

5. Do you wear braces? No, but I might need to get something bc sleeping on one side of my face seems to be slowly crushing my teeth to the right.

6. What is your fashion style? Lots of things. I’m a fan of cheap op shop suits n ties, ripped jeans, wallet chains, fake leather jackets, killjoy fashion, punk stuff, lots of layers (so I super hate the climate here). Depends on what kind of day it is.

7. Full name? C██ C███-██ ████

8. When were you born? ‘98

9. Where are you from and where do you live now? Buttcrack, Australia

10. What school do you go to? I went to a small local high school

11. What kind of student are you? One that “behaved” (I drew in the margins of all my books and didn’t listen all the time and rarely cooperated in group projects cuz I disliked nearly everyone) and did well in class on most subjects but I almost never handed in homework. Nearly didn’t graduate tbh.

12. Do you like school? No, it sucked. Lunch times were so boring cuz I didn’t have close friends.

13. What are your favourite school subjects? Art, cuz we never got much homework and my teacher kept written work to the absolute minimum. I follow her on Pinterest now, it’s tight.

14. Favorite TV shows? Brooklyn 99, Breaking Bad (great negative character development, you go from sympathising to absolutely hating Walt, it’s great), Doctor Who, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.

16. Favorite books? I used to love Warriors and also the Alex Rider series. Oh, and Paul Jennings’ and Andy Griffiths’ stuff, they were pretty sick.

17. Favourite past-time? Listening to music, blogging about music, watching band interviews, staring at beautiful rockstars, etc.

18. Do you have any regrets? Only the stuff I couldn’t control.

19. Dream job? I wanna be a roadie of some kind, constantly being away touring with various bands sounds like the life. Not seeing my family, having someone be in charge of my day-to-day life, being in the music industry. Idk what I’d be doing but it’d probably be fun.

20. Would you like to get married? Dunno

21. Would you like to have kids someday? Nah

22. How many? 0

23. Do you like shopping? I guess. I like going to op shops, and even if I don’t buy anything it’s fun to browse music shops.

24. What countries have you visited? Bali is its own country, right? It’s not a province of somewhere else? I went there for a wedding, which I then threw up at.

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? I’ve had some weird ones that weren’t really that scary afterwards, but while they were happening they sucked. There was one where I was alone in a church and no matter where I looked there was this nun with sunken eyes like some kind of zombie dressed in red. I looked at the back pews and she was sitting there, I looked back at the front and she was there. When I went out into the hall she was sitting on a chair in front of me, and then when I looked to the far end of the hall she was there too. For some reason I couldn’t bear to look at her, but I had to go to her, so I looked at the ground and ran to her. I think the dream ended when I kind of grabbed her and laughed cuz I was scared.

26. Do you have any enemies? Yeah, but I’m also super paranoid so who really knows?

27. Do you have a s/o? Does Tony Perry count?

28. Do you believe in miracles? I think so. Depends what people mean by that. Ridiculous things happen all the time and sometimes they help you. Maybe that’s divine intervention, idk

I’m tagging @twinkaws @cash-and-androgyny @rosepheniox @thornheartless @wxundedwxrld @pete-wetzel @batterycityraces @prinofpol @wow-very-emo-such-bands @chennington @jawnrochaa @otto-wood @dailyoliversykes @massiveheartpainter @wheymrspock @whitewineandregrets @sonoorousmusic @aflairformisadventures @mousefrnk @tofindloveinpoison (hey I have a great memory, so if I tagged you and it’s weird cuz we’re not mutuals ... sorry. Also, if we’re longtime mutuals and I didn’t tag you it’s because I couldn’t remember if we were and I didn’t want to come off as weird ... sorry.)

#ask game #kinda

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taecheeks · 6 years ago

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Annual Writing Self Evaluation 2018

I wasn’t tagged in this but I wanted to do it so here we go

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year: 774,856 lakdjflkjfladklf

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting): (my wips are in order of when I last updated, not when I first posted)

Through Time I Found You (I feel like I posted this 9837473 years ago, I can’t believe it’s been less than a year since i posted my last ziam fic)

Enticing

play with me

Greedy

Wandering

media naranja

Kinktober ‘18

Maybe

Home For Christmas

Nodus Tollens

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction/Zayn, BTS

5. Pairings: Liam Payne/Zayn Malik, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi/Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin, and Kinktober has multiple pairings.

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: Nodus Tollens and then media naranja (this one was the fastest to get kudos, so I’m adding it)

Bookmarks: the same ^^

Comments: Nodus Tollens and then Through Time I Found You

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Nodus Tollens because it’s a lot different than what I’m used to writing and it was very difficult plot wise and characterization wise, but I’m happy with the way it turned out. There’s things that need to be fixed because I kind of just wrote and let the plot develop itself, and I was sure people wouldn’t like the plot twists. I also love my characters, I’m so attached to them. It’s also my longest fic and I don’t feel as if it’s dragging on, so I’m happy about that.

Also, media naranja. I wrote this fic as a break from the angst in nodus tollens and I was attempting to write a crack fic, and just a stupid/dirty overall fic and I actually got really great feedback for it. It made me really happy write it and really happy to see it do well.

I didn’t think Through Time I Found You was last year but since it was, I’m going to mention that one too. That was SO hard for me to write because of the dialogue and because it took place in the 18th century. But my writing really improved because of that fic (and my amazing beta for that fic).

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): None really. I post a lot of pwps that probably could be better, but there’s none I would say I’m not proud of.

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing: ugh this is hard did you see the WC from this year kldjalkfjda. Here’s something from NT I was really excited to share:

“The new living room is a little off putting. Taehyung’s definition of homey means a little messy - his tattered couch a big eye sore in the middle of the room but after a few nights cuddling with Taehyung on it, he’s starting to fall in love with it.

Taehyung’s a little messy too, their relationship or whatever it can be called a little messy, but Jeongguk’s past the point of falling in love with it.”

And then here’s one from Wandering bc that fic is my baby and sope are platonic soulmate brothers and I need them to be happy and finish the story okay:

Admittedly, Yoongi has never understood the phrase “seeing red” when angered.

He understands now.

It is a volcano inside of him, moments away from erupting and destroying everything around him. The only thing keeping him from yelling at the group of people in the waiting room, who never fucking called him, and the doctors who waste his time, is Hoseok.

The shallow breathing doesn’t calm his anger, but it keeps the tremble in his limbs at bay. The flinch of Hoseok’s fingers against his own makes it difficult not to squeeze on tight in a hope of waking him up.

It is too difficult to look at him bandaged up, his face so swollen and bruised he is almost unrecognizable. So Yoongi rests his cheek on their clasped hands where he sits beside him and stares at the monitor instead. He’s thankful they took the breathing tube from him, it made it too difficult to look at him.

“Never thought I’d wake up next to that face.”

Yoongi rubs his sleep ridden eyes against the soft sheets. There is a slight quirk to Hoseok’s lips as he makes an attempt at squeezing Yoongi’s hand.

“Savor the moment, it won’t happen again,” Yoongi mumbles as he sits up. It is still difficult to look at him, but Hoseok doesn’t look his way either so he can divert his eyes for the time being. “Special circumstances.”

Hoseok attempts to laugh, but he ends up groaning instead. “Don’t make me laugh. I feel like a bucket of shit.”

“You look it,” says Yoongi, but the joke doesn’t feel genuine. He knows he should call the doctor, but there is a flicker of fear in his chest at the idea of leaving his side.

“What’s the damage?”

The doctors had told him the moment he stepped inside of the room, but Yoongi couldn’t focus on anything but the sight before him and the rage he felt at whoever did this.

“They broke your face. A um - in your stomach. Stitches, lots of stitches.”

A tightness takes over his throat and he swallows it down as he finally moves to the door to call the nurse. He can’t say it. Stabbed .

“I don’t remember much. It was dark. Nari, is she okay?”

Yoongi’s heart drops into his stomach as he sits by the bed again. “Your parents are out of state. But mine are here if you need them.”

This seems like a better thing to tell Hoseok, but it makes his chest ache.

Assholes, they always have been.

“I told them I was your brother so they would get off my ass.”

Hoseok snorts. “Idiots. You’re too ugly to be my brother.”

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Ah, I received so many great reviews this year. I am quite lucky. I think my favorite recently was the latest on Nodus Tollens, which says: “ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK” x 3934 lmao

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This year has been pretty good for writing. The last couple years, I’ve been struggling. But this year, not so much. There were times where the plot was a bit heavy and difficult and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to where I wanted, or I realized I messed up a timeline and I had to work around that, but overall, pretty good.

12. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Um Sope in Wandering. Like, it was supposed to focus on the romantic ships in that fic but it focuses on the platonic ones more. And sope a lot. I really, really enjoy their relationship in that fic.

Also, Bobby in Nodus Tollens. He’s a minor character in the fic, but I also get a lot of feedback about it. He’s a, bad guy but with a tortured past so you feel for him and realize he’s not really a bad guy. That trope, I’m protective of him and I’m sad when I write his scenes.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: Specifically? Not sure. I got better at commas lmao. I’ve tested myself and wrote things I hadn’t before. I went from really dark to comical stories, I wrote different kinks. I wrote characters as bad when they aren’t in real life, which I normally don’t like doing. I’m not usually a big fan of writing characters OOC, but I’ve gotten more comfortable if it’s appropriate for the story I’m writing. I put a lot of my own self into stories, I wrote about something very traumatic that happened to me in one - something that I haven’t even talked about really.

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I can be a bit repetitive within my writing, I am working on this and I hope I improve. (Like for example, in the fic I’m about to post in a few days, I wrote JK saying he’s suffering and dying like 343 times lmao.) I also really suck at outlining and planning out fics in advance, which hasn’t been a huge issue but it’s offered me some roadblocks that I need to focus on bettering.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Oh man, well I’ve read some really amazing fics and the writing was so beautiful that it offered me a lot of motivation. @strawberrysuga is always a huge support for me and my writing, even though ambra offers me like 9897 au ideas when I’m trying to focus on the 8979 ones I’ve already written. There’s a lot of people on twitter who come to me between updates and though I write for myself, seeing their feedback and their love and encouragement has been such a good influence on me.

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Oh yeah, every one of my fics has part of me in it whether it’s a character based on someone I know, or an event in my life. Wandering has a lot of it; the police scene, Taehyung hating cheese (me), it takes place in NE where I grew up. One of my fics has a scene based on me and my girlfriend. Umm so yeah a lot lol

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: So, this year was a good year for me and I was nervous because I was in a new fandom. As much as I’ve done well, I’ve never really gotten negative comments on my fics before until this year. And none of them were about my writing or my storyline, but unnecessary/rude comments. Like someone didn’t like how often a side ship showed up. Things like that. They bothered me, not necessarily because I took it personal, but because I can’t believe people can be so rude and think it’s okay to be that way lol. I think this will always continue to happen, I think it’s best to ignore these comments and try to focus on the good ones. Because the bad ones stand out, but there were very few compared to the good ones - but the bad always stands out more than the good. And it’s important not to focus on the bad.

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m actually writing a fic right now I’m very excited to post. It was supposed to be a ‘I’ve never kissed anyone, please teach me’ type fic, but it’s not quite that anymore haha. There’s a lot of frog references because Jungkook’s an animal biology major who loves amphibians lakjldfkjda

19. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: since I stole this, you can steal this from me and say I tagged you mwah

#writing #tag game #long post

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mental-health-advice · 7 years ago

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Hiii so i really need ur help bc its been too much so im a guy who suffers from anxiety and depression i was often bullied and picked on i guess for being tooo nice and different from the other boys i thought that when i get to uni it will change it did at first i met some nice pals and stuff but i also met so disgusting human beings who always turn my life to hell since we are in the class and the more of i it i lost my best friends this year which sucks bc now i have no one to rant too now....

..2.. bc of those pll i started having a delusional disorder i always imagining things who arent there over freaking stuff which led me to a huge break down after that i disactivated all my socials i think know im afraid of ppl idk what to do i trust no one i always imagine everyone backstabbing me or talking behind my back and i cant take it anymore and i fucking hate myself foor being to nice bc i always get fuckrd over i really dont know what to do plus bc of those things my hair almost isgone

Hi darling,

I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve gone through this lovely! Bullying is honestly so horrible, I cannot find the words for it. Being nice (or too nice) is not a bad quality and not something you should be picked on or bullied for! Being nice is such a lovely quality actually and it breaks my heart this is something that you’ve been bullied over, resulting in you hating yourself for it.

You’re going through a terrible time right now. And I think it’s time to reach out for professional help. This isn’t something you have to go through on your own! Seeing a professional will get you the help you deserve and you can also get an assessment for a professional diagnosis, as we don’t recommend self-diagnosis for the reasons listed here. I know reaching out will be a really difficult step to take for you, but I think it’s one necessary to take. So let’s try to look at how we can make that step more manageable okay? You were able to reach out to us and open up, which is really great! I’m really proud of you for doing so. What made it that you were able to reach out to us? By looking into this, maybe you can implement certain aspects that made it easier for you to reach out to us into how you can reach out to your GP / local doctor. If you manage to tell them what’s been going on briefly, they’ll be able to refer you to a therapist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional. You can read more about getting help here. If you find it hard to speak about these struggles, sometimes it can really help to write it down in a letter instead, just like you’ve typed it out into your asks. Then when you are in your appointment and at loss for words you can either hand them the letter or you can read it out for them. Know that this is completely okay to do! What matters most is that you feel most comfortable with everything.

If I understand correctly, you’ve been isolating yourself which has had a negative impact on your already existing struggles. Reaching out to us was a good step, and so will be reaching out to a professional, but you also deserve the support of friends and other people that care about you. How would you feel about messaging one of the friends you made at uni? It doesn’t have to become a whole conversation, it could just be a short message or just saying hi or something like that! Small steps are really important, all added together they will give you the distance as well.

Something that I’d recommend you to do is to keep a journal. By writing everything down, it hopefully gets out your head a little more so that you aren’t so stuck in the cycle of worrying constantly. You might also want to look into mindfulness and/or meditation. Mindfulness can help to be more in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Because of that, it can have a calming effect. We have a page on mindfulness here. Meditation can also have a calming effect, although I think you can gain more from it as well but this will be different for everyone. In the meditation tag on our blog you can find some meditation techniques in answers that were written.

I truly hope that this helped at least a little bit and that you’ll be able to start making steps in the right direction. ‘Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life’ - J.K. Rowling. You can get through this! I fully believe in you. Let us know if there’s anything else we can do for you.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful Love Pauline

#mental health #advice #advice blog #bullying #friends #depression #anxiety #delusional disorder #paranoia #isolation #hair #delusions #mhapauline #Anonymous

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hazftcor · 7 years ago

Text

Promise #2

Liam:

“Promise me you’ll always stay in control.” You said to your best friend who was also your crush. You were the second person to know he was bitten, after Stiles. Why wouldn’t you know? Scott was your older brother. He had anger issues and was struggling with control. You weren’t a supernatural of any kind, but almost all your friends were some type of supernatural so you got your experience from them. You met him at the boys first Lacrosse practice after Liam transferred. Liam was dominating Scott and Stiles. You laughed at the human-made failures made by them. By the end of the practice, you went up to him and thanked him for making a fool out your brother and his best friend. He introduces himself to you right before Scott and Stiles walk up to him suspiciously, questioning on his good abilities. You defended him which was a shock to your brother, and Liam gave you a hug for getting him away from those two ‘freaks’. That was how the two of you became best friends.

“Y/n, no need to worry. I can control it over the supermoon.” He tells you before getting a text from his girlfriend Hayden. His smile became a frown. He waved at you sadly before leaving in a hurry. You didn’t really like Hayden, not only because she was dating your crush but that she’s clingy. Liam would always listen to her and ditch you for her. You were a little bit afraid that one day, Hayden’s going to tell Liam to stop being friends with me, and he’ll listen to her. But still, you hoped nothing bad is going to happen even though everything was falling down. You hoped everything would come out right. Man, were you wrong.

You knew your brother was at the library that night of the supermoon. Lydia texted him saying she to meet up at the library. He was a true alpha, he could defend himself. You weren’t worried. Until you got a call from your mom. You were at the store when you find out. You ran out of the store and got on your motorcycle, heading home. When you got there, you harshly open the door and enter Scott’s room.

“Scott Mccall! You better tell me who did this to you so I can beat their ass for hurting you.” Scott looks at your mom.

“Sorry, sweetie. I had to. She’s your sister.” Scott sighs heavily while Melissa gets up to leave the two of you.

“Are you okay, by the way?” You ask, changing your mood from angry to gentle.

“I’m okay Y/N. The pack... they’re all gone. Liam tried to kill me. Theo almost killed me. I lost them, all of them.”

“Scott...” You sat down on the side of his bed and grabbed his hand. Then you realized what he just said.

“LIAM F*CKING DUNBAR DID THIS TO YOU? I don’t care who he is to me, I’m gonna beat his ass up for killing my brother for a girl. That son of a b*tch.”

“LANGUAGE!” Your mom yells from downstairs. You angrily got up and headed for the exit.

“Y/n, it was Theo too. He manipulated Liam into killing me so Liam could get alpha status and then Theo would kill Liam so Theo can finally be an alpha. Liam didn’t kill me enough so Theo did the final touch.”

“F*ck that b*tch too. I’m pissed at my best friend. I’m going.” You said.

“Where are you going?”

“To f*ck up Liam Dunbar, and tell him that I hate him.” You told your brother. But you knew for a fact that you could never hate Liam, and so did your brother. Even though Scott called your name a couple of times, begging you to not go, you left anyway. You went straight to Liam’s house. His stepdad opened the door.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you’re here, Liam came home crying and he’s been in his room ever since.” He tells you. You gave him a fake smile before heading to Liam’s room. You knock on his door.

“Go away.” You can hear him say. Instead of following his orders, you barge in. His head snaps up.

“What the hell, Y/n?! I said go away.” He says, quickly wiping his tears away.

“Liam Dunbar, you son of b*tch. I can’t believe you would kill my brother for Hayden!”

“Y/n, i could explain! Hayden was dying! The doctors injected Mercury into her! The only way for her to survive is if Scott bit her!”

“So just because Scott declined your stupid ass request means that you could kill him??”

“Wanting to save the person you love the most is not a stupid ass request! I was mad and it was the super moon! I didn’t want to lose Hayden! She is my first love! What would you do if the guy you liked was dying?”

“The guy I like doesn’t even like me back! Don’t change the subject Dunbar, you stupid little piece of shit, you broke your f*cking promise!”

“What promise?” You were done with him at that point.

“Do I even mean anything to you? I’m your so-called best friend and you basically forget everything I say to you because you’re so in love with Hayden. You ditch me for her all the time now. I swear that I’m nothing to you. What a great best friend you are!”

“Y/n, i didn’t-”

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I LIKE YOU SO MUCH. I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU, YET YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WILL KILL MY BROTHER BECAUSE OF HER. YOU’RE F*CKING MONSTER. F*CK YOU.” You started to cry.

“wait what?”

“Liam Dunbar. From this moment on, you are not my best friend anymore. I hate you, and I never want to see you again. Goodbye.” You ran out of the house, tears falling down your face. You headed home and slammed the door to your room. You cry onto your pillow. You hear a soft knock on the door. It opens to reveal Scott.

“Hey Y/N, you okay?” You get up and wipe your tears away before shaking your head. He comes and hugs you.

“Shh, everything will be okay.” You cried in his arms until you fell asleep. Scott was curious on what had happened but didn’t ask you as he didn’t want to make you more sad than you already were.

You didn’t go to school for a few weeks. You didn’t want to see him, or anyone in fact. Scott kept you updated on what was happening outside. He told you Theo resurrected Hayden and 3 other chimeras, the day before you were about to go back to school. You kept a emotionless expression when you heard the news but inside you were dying. On your first day back to school, you ignored everyone and went to class. Liam tried to talk to you but when he walked towards you, you would walk the other way.

That day, the pack was discussing how to figure out the beast’s identity using the charity lacrosse game. After they made their decision to cancel the game, you guys walk out of the library. Liam tries to talk to you, but Scott quickly interrupts him.

On the night of the lacrosse game, the pack discuses their job. You were to keep everyone safe if the beast attacked. When you guys split up, Stiles secretly told you that Liam broke up with Hayden. You gave him a shrug before heading to the bleachers.

You watch the boys terribly lose to Devenford Prep again. Kira wasn’t her usual self, and Malia hasn’t finished the wiring. Something was gonna happen, something bad. You felt weird just sitting at the bleachers, not only because you felt like you were useless to the pack but also because Liam kept staring at you whenever he got the chance. You awkwardly smile at him. Suddenly he starts to play hard and scores a few times, catching up to the opposite team. Leading into overtime because of a tie, a sudden squeal from the speakers enters everyone’s ears, which was eventually replaced by a growl. You watch as Liam, with glowing eyes walk towards the growl. You quickly run towards him, hoping you’ll be able to stop him, but it was too late.

“Liam. Liam, wait!” Stiles yells

“LIAM!!!!” You scream, as you watch the beast jumping over the bus and attacking Liam. Everyone else started to scream too. You yell for eveyone to get into the school and find a safe hiding place. You run up to Liam.

“Stiles! Help me! Bring him into the school.” The two of support Liam as you guys run into the school and into an empty classroom. The halls were filled with screams from fleeing people.

“I swear to god, Stiles if you faint, I will kill you myself.” You said once the two of you put Liam on a table and saw the deep scratches.

“I’m okay, I’m fine.” Liam mumbles out.

“No you are not, Liam! You could’ve died out there! What were you thinking?”

“Is it bad?” Liam asks. You shake my head while Stiles nods.

“Stiles!” You glare at him.

“Whatever, How do we fix him?” Stiles asks.

“Pain! Maybe we could trigger the pain since pain makes them human.”

“I mean he’s already in pain?” Liam groans in pain.

“Okay I don’t know! Why can’t you think of anything?”

“Because there is blood all over him, there’s screaming in the hallways and a bunch of people are probably dead by now.”

(a/n: this took me forever to think of a solution to heal liam. It sucks though)

“ugh such a negative nancy. I think we should bring him to my mom or Deaton. If only one of us was a werewolf.” Stiles nods. You hear roaring outside and you decide to go out the window. It was a struggle to get Liam out and to the animal clinic.

“Deaton? Are you here? We have an injured Liam!” Deaton appears and quickly we put Liam onto the table. Deaton does a bunch of observing and asks Stiles some questions. Your phone vibrated. You checked it out. Malia texted you.

Mals: It’s chaos here, I called Braeden to help, you better be safe:)

You: yikes okay, I’m out safe, Liam got injured bcs he think hes so strong that he can hurt a beast lol

Mals: lmao good, if he gets better, come back.

You: gotcha :)

You look up from your phone. Deaton is looking for something. Deaton finds it and puts it in a needle, stabbing it into Liam. Liam shoots up from the table, transformed, and roars very loud. You run up to him, ignoring the ringing in your ears and grab his hand.

“Liam?” You say, but you get no answer. You start to repeatedly say his name.

“Liam wake up! No don’t go, I miss you, and I need you. Please don’t go. Wake up! You promised me that we’ll go to London together someday! You can’t break promises! Liam, please wake up, I need you with me. What am I supposed to do without you? Liam... please... I’m sorry, I don’t hate you anymore. I just want you to wake up Liam Dunbar. Please wake up for me!” You hold his hand so tightly that your hands turn white. A tear slips down your face.

“I get it! Are you just doing this so I can realize how hard it is to lose the one you love the most? Just get up and lemme say I’m sorry! Please Liam, just wake up. I love you.” More tears slip down your face. You feel Liam’s hand grip onto yours.

“I love you too... not as a friend.” He whispers. You carefully lift him up

“Do you think you can walk?” Stiles asks. Liam gets up and takes a few steps forward. He nods. “Great now lets go help everyone else! I swear to god Liam if you get injured again, I’m not helping you.” You roll your eyes, You say goodbye to Deaton and the three of you head back to the school. By the time you guys get there, there is the sound of gunshots which meant that Braeden made it. You guys quicken your speed and head to the library.

“You didn't seriously think you were gonna have a chance against that thing, did you?” Braeden was asking Scott when you got there.

“No, but I got its scent.” He says, struggling to get up. You run up to him.

“Scotty, are you okay? And don’t worry, I’m okay.” He looks you in the eyes and nods. He gets up with the help of you. Then he heads out. You and Liam exchange glances before following him. The two of you follow Scott to the parking lot. Liam kept telling him to slow down. Somehow you weren’t as worried about him than Liam. Scott makes it to a car, Mason’s to be specific and opens the trunk. Inside reveled two shoes, and one of them was bloody. You gasp as Scott closes the trunk. Mason saw us.

“It’s you...” Scott says.

“What? Liam, What does he mean?” He backs up a bit and Corey suddenly appears, He takes Mason and they both turn invisible. Scott yelled out no but it was too late. They were gone.

“I think we should get a good night rest, Scott. You need to heal, Liam needs to heal. Let’s go home.” Scott sadly nodded and the three of you went back to school to meet up with the rest of the gang.

That night, the pack stayed over at your house. While Kira and Scott were in the bedroom doing who knows what, Stiles, Malia and Braeden were discussing about the desert wolf. During all of that, you and Liam sat in your bedroom in silence. Until Liam spoke up.

“Um well about what we said earlier...”

“What about it?” You ask.

“Did you really mean it?” You blush.

“I mean, kinda? I don’t know.” Liam walks over to your position on the bed and kneels down so your eyes are at the same level.

“Because I meant it.” He stares deeply into your eyes. You avoid his eyes but his hands make it up to your face and he turns it so you are facing him again.

“I love you Y/n, I didn’t know that until I lost you. You’re not just my best friend y/n, you’re the love of my life. And I was stupid to break your heart. At school, you ignoring me pains me, Because I can’t stand a day without talking to you. I love you Y/n, I love you so so much and I hope you still would take me back and love me again, but this time more than just friends.”

“I can’t love you after what you’ve done to my family.” You said as confident as you could. He smirks

“You’re lying. Did you forget I can listen to your heartbeat?” You frown.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Hate you”

“Love me” You shake you head.

“Only if you deserve it.”

“Did you see me risk my life out there?”

“I know! How could you do such thing? I was so worried about you!”

“Are you saying you love me?” You shake your head. Suddenly, warm lips comes into contact with yours. Consciously, you kiss back. When you let go, he smirks while you blush madly.

“How about now? Do you love me yet?” You smile widely.

“You’re so desperate, What a loser.” He laughs

“Well I can be your loser.” He says before you kiss him again. And some things lead to the next. That night, you lost your virginity to your best friend and first love, Liam Dunbar.

From then on, you and Liam were the power couple. That was all you wanted. To be with your best friend. You were safe, he was safe, everyone was safe. You were his anchor and he will always be yours. Liam Dunbar will always be the love of your life.

Theo:

“Promise me you’ll change for the better.” You said to your secret boyfriend, Theo Raeken. You weren’t suppose to even talk to each other because your best friends, Stiles and Scott didn’t allow it. Of course you didn’t listen. You fell in love with Theo and the two of you became close. That night Theo opened up to you about killing his sister and working for the dread doctors. You didn’t mind, but you didn’t want him to continue on with being evil.

“I promise babe. I’ll be a better person for you.” He smiles and kisses your forehead. You cuddle with him on the bed, slowly falling asleep. Little did you know Theo still had some things he kept away from you, and little did he know that he was slowly falling in love with you.

That was the promise he made. But when you saw Theo’s claws in Scott’s body, your heart broke into pieces.

“T-Theo?” You call out, tears threatened to fall down your face. You couldn’t believe what was happening. Theo looked at you with evil in his eyes, but when he saw your tears, his facial expression softened and he let go of Scott.

“Y/N. I could explain.” He takes a few steps towards you.

“What is there to explain? That you manipulated me? That you lied to me? That you broke your promise? You killed my best friend for power, because you’re so power-hungry. I get it, you were just using me to get to the pack. I was just being a stupid naive girl who was just so desperate for someone to love her.”

“Y/n, no, I’m sorry. Babe. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Well you already did. Theo, you’re a monster. I hate you.” Tears slip out of your eyes. Theo walks sadly past you. Melissa arrives and does CPR on Scott. Mason, the only other person there that witnessed that, came up to me.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He embraces you and you cry. Through your sobs, you hear Scott roar. He was alive, but you were broken.

After that, you saw a totally different Theo than the one you fell in love with with. You watched him form his own pack and kill half of them. You watched him attempt to save Lydia from the Eichen House. You watched him try to take the power of the beast, but miserably failed. The heartbreaking thing was whenever he saw you, he would pretend he didn’t know you and never loved you. The worst part, was seeing him get dragged down to hell by his sister, and not being able to help. He kept calling your name, calling for you to help him, but Scott stopped you from doing so. It was a painful moment to watch.

Three months later, the pack was dealing with the wild hunt. They took Stiles already. Scott, Lydia, and Malia has gone to Canaan for clues on how to find Stiles. You didn’t want to go. You haven’t been active in the pack as much as you did before. Liam and his small pack always came over. Sometimes Brett would come with them too, even though Corey and Liam hated that. But ever since Stiles was gone, they were too busy to come over. Until that night, when Scott, Malia and Lydia came back from Canaan, Scott called you.

“Y/n? Oh hey y/n. I’m pretty sure what I’m doing isn’t a good idea but i need you to come to my place. There’s something here that you might want to see.” Scott states before hanging up. You sighed as you got dressed and headed to Scott’s.

You opened the door using the spare key someone gave you (a/n its stiles) But you couldn’t remember who. When you looked, Malia punching a familiar looking guy. You couldn’t make out who he was but when Malia was pulled away from him and he sat up, your eyes widened. You couldn’t believe it. It was him, the guy you fell in love with. He looked up at you.

“y/n?” he whispers. Scott takes a few steps toward you, but your head was spinning and you couldn’t hear or see clearly.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” A concerned Scott asks, holding onto you to keep you balanced. Once everything stops spinning, you look at Scott and blink a few times.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m, I’m just gonna go.” You said, walking quickly out of the house. You knew Scott was following you.

“Y/n? Listen, if you’re not okay, you can always tell me.”

“I’m sorry Scott. It’s just... everything happened so fast. One minute I love him and the next I hate him.” You sigh in defeat

“Y/n...”

“It’s like all those memories i tried to forget came rushing back. He killed you Scott. He tried to kill my best friend, the person who means the most to me. You’re aren’t just my best friend Scott, you’re my brother. I don’t remember much about Stiles, but I know you guys were like brothers too. Theo tried to take you away from us. You’re someone special in my life. Not only do you protect me, but you care for me and love me, way more than Theo ever did. But the funny thing is, after all that he has done, I still manage to love him.” A few tears slide down your face. Scott embraces you in a tight hug.

“It’s okay Y/n. I will always forgive you. Even if you choose to be with him, I’ll understand, because you’re like my sister, and I love you. Everything is gonna be alright. Everything will work out just right, just wait.” You manage to laugh. The two of you walk around the streets for a while.

“Who and why did they bring him back anyway?” You ask as Scott was walking you home.

“Liam did. With Kira’s sword. He thought Theo would still have his powers to help us capture a ghost rider, but turns out he doesn't have it anymore. I guess the only reason on why we’re keeping him right now is because he remembers Stiles.” You nod. You reach your place.

“Thanks Scott.” You said. He smiles and kisses you on the forehead before walking away.

The ghost riders have taken almost everyone. Scott, Malia, and Lydia have gone to trigger memories of Stiles. You didn’t go with them as you weren’t really in the mood. You wanted to stay home all night but Liam told you it wasn’t safe and that you should come with him to distract the Ghost Riders. Reluctantly, you agreed. And now you are stuck in the hospital with Liam and Theo.

“I don’t even know why I agreed, Liam. I’m only human. I have no supernatural powers. I can die Liam. I don’t even know what I was thinking.” You complained while walking into the hospital with the two boys. Theo pauses for a bit, looking at the main hallway.

“Theo?” You asked, concerned. He quickly snaps out of it.

“I’m fine. I just thought I was somewhere else for a second.” He told us before we started walking again. Liam suggested that you guys hide in the morgue, which was a ridiculously stupid idea. When you reached the morgue, Theo and Liam instantly started arguing.

“You should've left me in the holding cell.” Theo complained

“I should've left you in the ground.” Liam retaliated

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“What do you think I was doing down there? Just hanging out with my dead sister? Having a good time catching up on childhood memories?” Your eyes snap up at Theo, confused.

“I think you were rotting down there.”

“Liam finally gets one thing right.” Your heart broke when you heard him agree to Liam. You realized his sister was torturing him down there, getting revenge on him for taking her heart and killing her.

“I also think whatever happened to you, you deserved it.” You had enough at that point.

“Liam! Shut up! You’re being rude!” You defended Theo and the two boys just looked at you in awe. You didn’t dare look into their eyes and instead you focused on the sound of the siren until it suddenly stopped.

“Guys, They’re here.” You hear the sound of footsteps.

“Y/N, stay here.” Liam and Theo bring out their claws before attacking the nearby ghost rider. From the window, you watched them fight. Once they finished fighting all the ghost riders nearby, they were about to fist bump when they looked down the hall at something. You took a peek and saw more ghost riders. Theo runs to the elevator and presses the button while Liam shows his fangs. When the elevator door opens, Theo pushes Liam into it.

“What are you doing?” You hear Liam ask.

“Being the bait.” He smirks before the elevator door closes. You hear Liam yell out “No!”

You decided to stay in a corner of the morgue. While you hear Theo fighting, you think of how he’s risking his life for Liam instead of fleeing himself and leaving him for dead. There was a gunshot which startled you. You got up to check it out. When you entered the hallway, there was no one.

“Theo?” The elevator door pushes open and reveals Liam.

“Y/N! You’re okay!” He runs up to hug you. The two of you let go and head to the reception area, where Liam sees a train station departure board. The first city name flips for a bit until it lands on Beacon Hills. Tracks have appeared on the floor. “We have to tell Scott!” Liam looks at you.

“But what about Theo?” You ask. You were really worried about Theo

“Nobody cares about him, let’s just go. He’ll be fine.” Liam says pulling your arm to the exit.

“No! Liam, you know how much I love him. I need to find him, I need to see if he’s okay. Please Liam. Let me find him.” You tell him. He looks deep into your eyes, and nods reluctantly.

“Stay safe.” He adds. You immediately perk up and kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you! I’ll meet up with you later!” You wave goodbye before running into the empty hallways of the hospital.

“Theo! Theo!! Where are you? Please tell me you’re okay. Theo!!” Turning the corner, you hear some whimper.

“Theo? Theo! Is that you? Theo!” You shout. You follow the source of the sound and end up back in the morgue. You see Theo curled up in a corner. He was slightly injured and dirty. From his facial expression, he was terrified.

“Theo! Theo! You’re alive!” You run up to him, making him flinch and curl up tighter.

“Please stop, I’m sorry.” You hear him mumble.

“Theo, It’s me, Y/n!” You softly touch him but he flinches and looks you in the eyes.

“I’m sorry! please stop! I get it, You’re mad at me but please stop it hurts, please stop. I’m-” You cut him off my kissing him. When you let go, Theo was finally not terrified.

“Why’d you do that?” He asks.

“Because I love you. And never do I want you to be hurt.” He faintly smiles. You take hold of his hands. “What you did with the ghost riders was really brave of you. I actually couldn’t believe you did it.”

“I promised someone that I’ll change for the better. I might of broke it already but I wanted to make it up to her.” You smile.

“Why?”

“Because I love you. And I never wanted to lose you.” He caresses your cheek before kissing you. “Would you mind being mine again? I’ll promise that I’ll be better. All for you.” Instead of answering, you kissed him. At the moment, you knew he has changed. He held you in his arms tightly and you felt safe. You were finally back in the arms of your first love, and you’ll always love Theo Raeken, for as long as you live.

Brett:

“Promise me you’ll be fine without me by your side.” You told your secret boyfriend, Brett, in an empty classroom of Beacon HIlls high school. He was a secret because your brother hated him and you didn’t want him upset.

“It will be hard, but I’ll try. For you.” He says. You kiss him. You hear the door open and you quickly pull apart. You see Liam come you way. Liam punches Brett in the face.

“Stay away from my sister!” He yells before grabbing your arm and walking out of the room. You looked back with a worried face and Brett smiled at you for reassurance. Liam takes you to his car.

“What the hell were you doing with him??” I roll my eyes.

“Why don’t you like him?” I ask

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you but-”

“We’re dating.” You said interrupting him. His eyes widen.

“Y/n Dunbar! I told you how much I hate him and yet you still interact with him. As your older brother, I demand you to stop seeing him.”

“You’re not the boss of me! You can’t demand me to stop seeing him! I love him!”

“I don’t care! It’s either you break up with him or I break up with him for you.”

“That’s not fair! Why do I always have to listen to what you say? I’m only 30 seconds younger than you!”

“Yes and that makes me the older brother! Y/n, listen to me, break up with him. He’s not what you think he is.”

“Stop trying to break us apart! You’re such a selfish person. All you care about is yourself. But what about me? Just because you and Brett had some mishaps back at Devenford doesn’t mean that I can’t date him.”

“Y/N!”

I don’t care, I’m not breaking up with him. And you can’t make me.” A sudden sharp pain hits your face. Liam had slapped you.

“I f*cking hate you.” you told him before running away. Your legs took you to the woods, away from everyone. Your phone rings. It was from Brett. You decline the call and text him instead.

You: I’m sorry to do this but I have to break up with you.

Bae: It’s okay, I understand. I’ll always wait for you.

// You changed Bae’s name to Brett \\

You: Thanks for understanding.

Brett: No problem. Remember I love you

You: I love you too. Goodbye :(

You turn off your phone and walk to the woods. A bit of rustling is heard from behind you, causing you to turn around. A wolf jumps out of nowhere. The wolf then transforms into a human male, who goes by the name Theo Raeken.

“Hello, y/n, fancy seeing you here.”

“what are you gonna do to me? He chuckles.

“Look y/n, I might have done bad things in the past, that doesn’t mean i’m gonna kidnap you or rape you of some sort. Just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“You’re joking right? Raeken has a heart?” He laughs.

“yes but only to pretty girls like you.” He flirted. You blush.

“Well you’re showing me a lot right now and I am very uncomfortable so I’m just gonna go.” You say before heading in another direction. Theo grabs your arm and turns you around. Somehow he has put on clothes.

“C’mon Dunbar, just tell me if you’re okay. I saw your brother yelling at you.”

“It’s nothing...” You say, avoiding his gaze.

“Y/n?” Tears start to fall out of your eyes.

“My brother hates my boyfriend and is forcing me to break up with him. I didn’t want to, but he kept on insisting so I told him that he can’t tell me what to do and then he slapped me.” You blurted out. “I feel like Liam is trying to take my first love away from me.” You put your hands on your face and sob in them until warmth fills your body. Theo Raeken had just hugged you.

From then on, You and Theo were best friends. He would always take you to your classes, flirt with you, and become protective whenever Liam comes near you as Liam hurted you. Even with him, you weren’t as happy as before. Theo knew that. But he didn’t say anything about it. Theo was always around at your house. Your parents loved him; Liam, not so much. After all Theo had done to the pack, Liam, along with Stiles, never trusted him and always gave him a glare when he was around. Theo told you all his plans about taking the beast’s power. But he never got you involved, and you never told anyone else about his plans. Until the day came.

It all happened so quickly.

“Your sister wants to see you.” Thunder Kitsune Kira said, shoving her sword onto the floor. The floor cracked and opened a hole beneath Theo. Tara came out and grabbed onto his feet, pulling him down.

“Y/N! Y/N!! Help me!!” You stepped forward to help but Liam held you back.

“Theo!” You shouted as he fell down the hole and the hole closed up. Angrily, you pushed Liam away from you.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys. First, you take away Brett, and now Theo! You guys are the greatest friends I ever had. Thanks for trying to make my life miserable.” You yelled at all of them, a few tears sliding down your face.

“Y/n, we did what we had to do. You shouldn’t had even been friends with him.” Scott told you.

“Well then take my life away. Because I just lost two important people of my life. What is life without them for me? They made me happy, happier than any of you have ever done.” You cried, walking out of the tunnels.

You got home with a wet face. Your parents asked you what’s wrong but you ignored all of them. You head to your room, falling on to your bed. You get out your phone and the first thing you see is Theo in your lockscreen. Angry, you throw your phone across your room and snuggle up with your pillows, falling asleep.

“Y/n! Y/n! Y/n! Help!” you hear someone say. You search for where the voice came from.

“Y/n!!!!” You hear louder, and you quicken your speed. You find yourself at the tunnels again. Two things were happening at the same time. Brett was tied up and Liam was there in werewolf form with his claws out. He was gonna attack Brett. Theo was getting dragged down to hell. You were stuck; should you save your best friend or the love of your life? You were too slow and both of them disappeared causing you to scream.

“Y/N!!” Liam opens the door to your room to see you screaming. He quickly runs up and hugs you. Tears form in your eyes.

“I’m sorry Y/n.” Liam whispers, kissing your temple. Instead of answering you fall back asleep in his arms. The nightmare stopped coming.

Brett stands in the corner, watching you as you get drunk and dance, a hint of jealousy can be seen from his face as he watches you dance with other boys at the party a few days later. You have been getting quiet lately so Liam brought you to a party.

“Hey Talbot.” Liam walks towards Brett in the corner.

“Dunbar.” Brett says back.

“Look, I know we have some mishaps in the past but Y/n has nothing to do with it. I took you away from her, and then I took her best friend away from her. You know, Theo Raeken who got sent to hell. He was the only other person other than you that made her happy. We couldn’t, we just made it worse for her.”

“I’m calling you selfish for the fact that you disapproved with us because of what me and you had. But Theo was an evil guy, you’re not selfish for that. You were only trying to protect her from what he could have done to her.”

“Yes, but the problem is when I see him with her, she’s happy and Theo is so kind to her. He takes her to her classes, hangs out ALL the time at our house, and gets protective when shes hurt. Theo had a heart around her.”

“I understand. But did he touch her in anyway?” Liam shrugs.

“I know he flirts a lot with her, maybe a few kisses on the cheek, hugs. But nothing you need to worry about.” Brett’s jaw clenches but manages to stay calm.

“Last night, Y/n had a nightmare. She told me when I went to calm her down that she watched you and Theo die and couldn’t do anything about it. She didn’t know who to save. The worse part was that I was there too, about to kill you. She’s been having the nightmare lately, and she’s been crying a lot.”

“So what are you trying to say?”

“I want my sister to be happy again. So I am allowing you, Brett Talbot, to date my sister, Y/n Dunbar, once again. But I swear to god if you hurt her, I will deal with you myself along with Scott.” Liam says to him, putting out his hand.

“Deal.” Brett smiles and shakes Liam’s hand before heading into you.

“Y/n, can I talk to you? Or are you too drunk to process anything?” You look at him in the eyes and your eyes sparkle with joy. You nod and the two of you head out to the back.

“I see you’re doing well.” You say once you get out of the place.

“Well, I promise a girl that I will do fine without her. So here I am, somehow surviving without you.” He smiles. You smile back.

“So what did you want to tell me?”

“Your brother, Liam had just allowed us to date again.” You widen your eyes for a second.

“Because he thinks he was a bit selfish and he wants you to be happy.” You smile. “He told me that you’ve been crying a lot lately and having the same nightmare every night. It hurts him to see you like that so now he has set aside our differences to allow me to date you. My question is: would you like to go out with me?”

“In that case, I do.” You say hugging him. tightly.

Finally, you were happy. The nightmare stopped coming but every once in a while you get a nightmare about Theo. But, with Brett, he makes you happy. You weren’t fully happy, but you were happy. You were with the love of your life. Everything has changed.

“Now, tell me y/n. How many times have you and that Theo guy kissed?”

Well not exactly everything.

Bonus Part for Brett’s section

You were in the tunnels once again. 3 months ago, you watched you best friend get dragged to hell here. You miss him a heck of a lot and you still have him on your lock screen even with your boyfriend’s protests. Liam and Hayden have brought you with them to the tunnels again without telling you what they were doing. What you were more worried about were the ghost riders taking you away.

Mrs.Yukimura is at the end of the tunnel, holding Kira’s sword. Liam and Mrs.Yukimura exchange words, but you didn’t focus in on their conversation. All you really want was to get out of here and go home. Mrs.Yukimura leaves and you see that Liam now has the sword. He takes a few steps, and hesitates for a bit.

“Liam wait!” Hayden calls out, just as Liam shoved the sword into the ground. The floor cracks and opens up a hole. A figure crawls out in beta werewolf form. He growls and attacks Liam, pinning him to the wall. You stand in shock because not only did Liam open up a hole, he brought back Theo.

“Where's my sister?"

"Your sister’s dead. She died a long time ago. You killed her remember.” Theo growls, eyes still glowing amber. You were too shook to speak at the moment.

“I’m gonna kill you, too. I’m gonna kill all of you.”

“Hopefully not me, because I've done nothing bad to you.” You finally had found enough confidence to speak up. Theo turns his head towards you. HIs eyes stop glowing.

“Y/n!” He shouts happily. You happily smile back.

“Hey hey, hey. You know what this does? if you look at her like that again, I will use this again.” Liam gestures to the sword he was holding.

“Don’t!” You say quickly. You walk in front of Theo.

“Nobody is allowed to separate me and Theo or Brett ever again.” You say, glaring at your brother, who looks down ashamed.

After that, Liam and Hayden explained what they wanted from Theo. They tried it out but unfortunately Theo had no more powers. Again Liam, Hayden and Mr. Douglas, who you were very suspicious of, wanted him to go back down. But you defended Theo again.

“Whoa, hold on, who’s making decisions around here? Where’s Scott? Where’s Stiles?” Everyone looks at Theo.

“You remember Stiles?”

“Why wouldn’t I remember Stiles?”

“Maybe he is useful after all.” Liam says. I mouth to him ‘told ya’, and he shakes his head.

“I’m allowing you to stay here, not only because you remember Stiles, but because you were the other person who made my sister happy.” He says. I happily jump up and down before running to hug my brother.

“Oh my god, I love you so much!” You say and Liam chuckle.

“Love you too.” He says hugging back.

After the two of you finish hugging, Theo explains everything he knows about the wild hunt. He also told us that he knows something about Mr. Douglas, making you fist bump him for thinking alike. Then you guys head home, with you and Theo talking non-stop, making Liam have a headache.

“Malia! Stop punching him!” You yelled, pulling her off of Theo .

“T, are you okay?” He nods. But you knew he was lying.

“It’s okay princess, i’m fine.” He flirted.You smiled a blushed at the name he called you. You missed him calling you that.

While you tended Theo’s injuries, Scott, Liam and Malia argued about if they should put him back.

“He’s going back to the ground.”

“He remembers Stiles.”

“Scott remembers Stiles. Lydia and I remember Stiles.”

“C’mon guys, let’s not think about the past, but the present. He completely remembers Stiles and he knows a lot about the wild hunt. He can be useful. Plus think about Y/n! Remember how broken she was when we sent Theo to hell? How she didn't talk to any of us for an entire week? Do you guys want her to be like that again? He’s also my responsibility now, I have the sword.” The trio looks at you, who was busy cleaning off the blood on Theo’s face.

“Tell me if i’m wrong, but look how happy she is. She’s extra happy now.” Scott nods. The door opens and in comes Brett. The smell of jealousy quickly fills the room as Brett clears his throat. You turn around and smile.

“hey babe.” You turn you attention to the trio for a second. “If you guys are done arguing, I would like to formally introduce my boyfriend to my bestfriend.” You say rolling your eyes before, going to help Theo up.

“Okay. Brett, this is Theo. My best friend who just got back from hell. And Theo, this is Brett, my boyfriend.” The two boys star at each other for a while before shaking hands and saying hello.

“I reckon that you know that me and Y/n are dating, so I hope you won’t steal her away.”

“I won’t have to do so unless you hurt my princess.” You smile. Brett narrows his eyes at the two of you.

“yes, and if any of you hurt my little sister, then I'll have do some bad bad things to you.” Liam intervenes

You smile at their protectiveness. Finally you were 100% happy. Living a happy life with your pack, boyfriend, brother and best friend. Life was good now and you loved it.

xxxxx

second imagine!!! yaay!! Hope y’all like it. Requests are open and I also have prompts. :) I added a bonus to brett’s because I truly believe that reader deserves 110% happiness which means bringing her bff back.

also this blog is now theo raeken and liam dunbar stan, 85% of my posts will be about them. 14% teen wolf, 1% other. so most of the unrequested imagines will be about one of them :)

BRett TALbot DEServed f*cKIng BETter I’m SUing

lots of love x

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf season 6 #liam dunbar #liam dunbar imagines #theoraeken #theo raeken #theo raeken imagines #brett talbot imagines #brett talbot #dylan sprayberry #cody christian #cody saintgnue

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songmvri-blog · 7 years ago

Text

surprise bitch, i bet u thought u’d see the last of me.............GUESS NOT ok but real talk vic culture is spending time one useless shit and then being way too tired to type up something that makes sense or even grammatically correct..... so y’all keep up with my shint because u MUST!!!! ok for those who don’t know me, i’m vic ( she + her ) -- super old, super tired who currently resides in the gmt -3 timezone and this is song mari & her color is olive ( the one you would nevver guess by the frckin cholor scheme i chose....i know, so smart ) !!!!! feel free to hate her because i hate her too so there’s that, enjoy it bc i definitely spent the last seconds i had left of sanity on this ( and it’s long ad of course skjlrnrhkiugh i h*te myself ) (( add me on discord @ RISE OF VOCALIST MINGYU#5789 to discuss further ok i promise i will make a connections page tomorrow ))

let’s start this with an apology, this is long and you’re not obliged to read at all ( i understands the hardships of such life...... but then i also love to ramble ) but okay. HERE you can find her pinterest board, so you can have more of a visual ?? notion of mari ( not aesthetic bc idk an aesthetic concept ) & HERE you can find a shortened version of this all, a small bio !!! i’m sorry.

backstory ;

she was born and raised in gwangsan, her parents married at quite young age -- a result of an arranged marriage, and when she was born, she was seen as the glue for their failed union

needless to say it didn’t work, when mari was five years old, her mother simply left without telling anything only a simple note on the fridge

don’t stick notes on fridge’s doors, mari is triggered

okay so she was left to deal with a rather terrible father, that treated her poorly for she reminded him so much of the wife who abandoned him, and grow up without the support of an actual family

as she grew up, she was the perfect student -- she suppressed all high marks, and in the history of the local school, she had had the best grades ever seen

the teachers bet on her, on what her future would be -- on either she would succeed or fail miserably

it was in one fine morning, when she was fifteen, that she saw her mother with a little boy in her arms and a man holding her hand, she noticed that the boy looked very much like her and that her mother was happy

mari didn’t know if her mother had been cheating on her father, if she had been pregnant when she left -- she only knew that she had found happiness, and it wasn’t with her

that was the night that she first threw up from drinking too much soju right beside the pool’s fence -- but it was also he night she decided to be gone

her professors and mentors were not surprised when she approached them about studying abroad and trying for a scholarship in an ivy league universtity

so at the age of sixteen she was gone to finish her high school overseas ( yes, ahead of the time ), and at seventeen she was blessed with her acceptance into harvard ( suck it up bitchez )

years passed and mari didn’t plan on coming back ever. she had graduated in physics, with honors -- and she was in the middle of her doctorate when she finally decided to answer one of thousand missed calls

her father was dying, and he didn’t have much time left. she was to it up earlier, she was to be back already -- but then, she didn’t want to give in, she didn’t want to go back to that part of herself.

and even though coming home was the last thing in the world she would do....she put her doctorate degree on hold, she was called things that ranged from crazy to the biggest disappointment and came back to gwangsan

a year ( and a little bit more ) has passed since she came back, and she can totally say that she’s been better.

she had taken up a position as physics professor at the local high school, the same she attended ( which made it blow up because.... a harvard almost doctor......teaching teenagers there ) & her nights she spends either at her house or besides her father’s bed at the hospital, the one who won’t speak to her by any means.

totally...................has been better.

personality ;

mari has been hurt her entire life for the ones she loves, so let’s say she’s pretty guarded.

& besides that, let’s say she is a little bit too conceited -- yes, she thinks she’s the Queen of Reason and no one can say it otherwise

don’t speak of her father or mother..............or brother who’s probably 20 or 21 now................ everything just hurts her a lot

her entire life she’s been lost and she only felt that she was good enough when studying -- when she decided to leave, when she got the scholarship, when she graduated, those were the only moments she felt that she ws worthy

so, academic success is something really big in her life -- it’s basically what kept her sane those entire years

she’s...............i wouldn’t say dry, but logical. level headed and cold -- she’s a scientist, she wants facts not goddamn feels.

( too bad she has feels everywhere in her life )

she is ver dedicated and obstinate, to not say stubborn of course

Exhausted™, she has bad sleeping habits ( if she has habits at all )

addicted to black tea

when she left to the US she also left her cat behind, faraday -- he is super old now but still loves her the same even though he hates everyone else

( her iq is pretty big but i’m too lazy to think of a plausible number so i’ll mention this in her stats later )

she’s sarcastic............ i’m sorry....... really hard to connect with people...most people think she is a bitch....

color ;

this is going to be a reach of everything i’ve added but i feel like i should explain why olive green once green is the color of harmony and mari is everything but a balanced person, okay.

the green spectrum shows the balance between heart and mind & is the color of growth and rebirth. mari had to prove herself over and over again, to herself and to the entire world -- and albeit all adversities she has faced in her life, the ones that left her emotionally scarred, she managed to reinvent herself, to rebirth. what she faces now is the struggle of finding that fine line in her life -- she is a strictly logical person because she chose to be one. she’d been hurt so many times that she simply saw the heart as a foolish reason to act through -- if it wasn’t for her mother’s heart desire to be with another man, the one she loved, she would still have a mother. if it wasn’t for her father’s hardened heart, incapable of loving her properly, she would still find good reasons to stay.

so she decided to be the best where she knew she would be the best at -- because it was logical. she decided to leave -- because it was logical. she decided to be a woman behind her own name, not her family -- because it was logical; but then she finds herself in that break-point -- where all the beliefs she has were put on the edge the moment she decided to listen to her heart and not her head.

gwangsan is a place where the colors shine through, but also a place where you find the true meaning why those colors define you -- and her mission is to develop that link that connect both extremities in her life. that’s why that further to being in the green spectrum, her color is olive -- besides being the color of women empowerment ( she wants to be more than a pretty face and a nice body ), it’s also the color of peace, acceptance and understanding.

mari will only find true peace once she accepts and understands, using both her head and her heart, all the aspects in her life & above all when she stops blaming her parents for the things that they couldn’t avoid, to begin with. delving in the negative aspect of olive, it also stands for blaming others for your own problems, greed and deceit. she’s not a deceitful person, but her guarded persona, merging selfishness, makes her quite hard to trust fully.

it’s going to be a long ass struggle, but she’s trying and not succeeding.

bitch if u got this far........................this is true love...............i love you.

#paletteintro #「 ❛ hunnit things you want it all; this goes on and on ❜ —— intro ̖́ –#I AM SORRY THIS IS MF LONG #I AM NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THIS OK #LIKE BRACE YOURSELF IF U READ #i just..........read y'alls wonderful apps and i felt like i needed to provide something good too ok #because i was feeling useless #anyway i made an intro tag bc #i plan on adding more things iitgueuptg

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