#which isn't so bad for a night or two tbh but I've got an air mattress if I gotta use it

[an-aura-about-you]

you ever have something happen that just ends up being the thing on the pile that makes you go, "ok, it'll be easier to just handle ALL of this in one thing as opposed to doing it piecemeal," but realize that means putting it off for a bit?

don't get me wrong, I've still got some chores I can do, but I think I've got all the stuff concerning my bed lumped in for tomorrow thanks to waking up at nearly 5 am to Mysterious Wet Spot. so now I've got to strip the bed anyway, might as well get to work on constructing the new bed frame I bought while I wash those things, right?

[comically-callous]

Hello! I Hope You’re having a wonderful day/night. I was wondering if you can do a Wonka (2023) x reader where the reader is a show girl and is in love with Willy Wonka. And the reader works as a showgirl for slugworth (to Yk promote his chocolates). But reader and Willy falls for each other and it’s a whole forbidden love type thing since readers boss hates wonka.

Hello! Thanks so much for the request!! Gotta love the forbidden lovers trope (probably one of my favs tbh).

Willy Wonka x Showgirl!Reader (Wonka 2023)

Warnings!!!: Fem!reader, cursing (literally once, I'm pretty sure)

A/n: Baby's first request + Baby's first time posting fanfiction (AJGSHSHEJJXHDJDJ) Hope it's not awful.

Sometimes you wondered why you ever agreed to this job.

Being a showgirl wasn't as easy as a lot of people seemed to think it was.

Every other weekend, you performed at the local theatre to promote Mr. Slugworth's infamous chocolate. Two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday.

Sounds easy enough. But, Mr. Slugworth insisted that no two shows could be the same.

Which meant that everyday you weren't performing, you were learning a new song and new choreography for your next performance. Which got very tiring very quickly.

Tonight was a particularly bad night. You were barely halfway through your show and already wanted to just collapse in the middle of the stage and sleep. Your costume felt tight, there was hardly anyone in the crowd, and your face hurt from how much you were smiling.

You had just finished your third number when the theatre doors opened. A young man walked through the doors. You recognized him from an incident in which he made your boss float through the air.

You briefly looked at him before going into your fourth number.

To your surprise, the man chose to sit right in the middle of the first row. Right in front of you. Now that he was closer you could see that he was actually pretty handsome. Dark brown curls that framed his face well and beautiful eyes that seemed to watch you in utter amazement...

You had to look away.

At the end of your performance, the man cheered loudly. Full on cheered, despite everyone else in the theatre simply clapping quietly.

He interested you with his sparkly eyes and bright smile. But, you knew you couldn't be interested. Your boss absolutely despised this guy. So, he wasn't cute and you weren't interested. That was that.

You were leaving the building through the back exit, happy to finally be out of your costume and headed home, when-

"Hi, there!"

"Ah!" You were startled by the sudden and enthusiastic greeting of... The guy you definitely didn't think was cute.

You sighed, regaining your composure after he had frightened you. "Hello." You said back simply.

"Sorry if I startled you there! I just wanted to compliment you." He said with a smile that for sure didn't make you want to swoon. "You are the most incredible singer that I've ever heard."

You couldn't help but feel flattered. "Thank y-"

"And you're an amazing dancer."

"Tha-"

"How do you even manage to dance in those tall, fancy heels?"

"I-"

"And isn't it strange to be taller than you usually are when you wear heels? Does that bother you at all?

You paused, making sure he was done talking before speaking again. "I guess being taller than usual would be strange at first. But, I'm used to wearing heels. So, being tall isn't weird for me."

"Like a giraffe." He said.

"Wha-"

"I'm Willy. Willy Wonka." He stuck his hand out.

You paused for a moment. Mr. Slugworth definitely wouldn't like the fact that you were talking to him... But, he wasn't here right now.

"I'm Y/n."

These little post-show conversations became something you looked forward to.

It was every Saturday, after your last performance of the night. He'd always be right outside the back exit waiting for you. Talking to him was always thrilling. Your heart beat a little faster whenever you were around him, breaking the rules... And maybe it was also because you thought he was cute.

You couldn't lie, over time, you'd grown to like him. And based on all of the lingering gazes and soft smiles he'd given you, you were pretty sure he liked you as well.

One day, you were backstage, looking into the mirror as you put on your makeup. You glanced up and in the reflection of the mirror was your boss, Mr. Slugworth.

This couldn't be good.

You turned around to face him. "Hello, Sir." You forced a polite smile.

"Yes, hello." He said with narrowed eyes. There was a brief moment of silence which you decided to fill.

"Did you want to talk to me about something?" You said, hoping the innocent head tilt you gave him was convincing.

"I know what you're doing." He said, ignoring your previous question.

Shit.

"One of my associates told me that they saw you and Mr. Wonka meeting behind this theatre every night."

You stayed silent. You knew you were guilty and you knew you probably couldn't talk your way out of this.

Mr. Slugworth continued. "I don't want an explanation or excuse from you. I just want you to agree to never speak with him again."

"What?!" You were shocked. He couldn't do this! He couldn't just tell you to stop talking to someone outside of work! He didn't have that power!...

Except, he kind of did. You knew how Mr. Slugworth was and you knew he wouldn't hesitate to fire you over something like this.

And that's why you agreed.

That night you left the theatre through the back exit like you always did. But, tonight you walked right past Willy.

"You were incredible tonight! I- Where are you going?"

You ignored him and kept walking. To your surprise, he began to follow you.

"You look sort of down.. Is something wrong? You can talk to me about it. I'm sure I can make you feel better!" He said as he continued to follow you.

He continued to try talking to you, and you continued to ignore him. He ended up following you all the way to your doorstep.

"Y/n? If it's something I did to upset you, I'm really sorry."

You took a deep breath and turned around, looking around to make sure no one was watching before you grabbed him and yanked him into your house.

As soon as he was in your house he looked around. "I like your curtains." He said.

"I'm not mad at you." You told him.

He smiled. "That's good to hear. I was already thinking of an apology chocolate recipe for you and it would've been-"

"Willy." He went quiet when you said his name. "Mr. Slugworth doesn't want me talking to you ever again."

"Oh?" He thought for a moment. "Well, that doesn't seem fair."

"Yeah. It isn't fair."

"Well, then don't listen to him." He made everything sound so simple. So easy. You wish you could see the world how he saw it.

"I can't just not listen to him. He's my boss." You looked at the ground. "And I need this job..."

Willy crossed his arms. He furrowed his brows in thought for a moment. "Huh."

...

"Huh." He looked back to you.

"What?"

"Why don't you just work for me?" He suggested with a smile. You were about to protest, but decided to hear him out. "Yeah! You can quit working for Slugworth, then you and I can update your act, and you can start promoting Wonka's Chocolate!" He said, excitedly pacing your small living area.

You thought over the plan. "Huh." You chuckled. "That's... Do you think that could work?"

He walked over to stand right in front of you, looking into your eyes. "I know it could work."

You shook your head with a smile. You were probably gonna regret this. "Let's do it."

"Yes!" Willy clapped and then stuck out his hand so that the two of you could shake on it. Instead of shaking his hand, you sort of let your emotions take control.

You grabbed his face and kissed him. After a moment you pulled away, a bit shocked at your own actions. You searched his face for any signs of discomfort and were met with a smile.

"That was better than a handshake." He said with a chuckle before leaning forward to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

Ok, you probably weren't gonna regret this.

[klaustheclock]

Ok I'm sorry to like the 1 person reading this at the moment but-

Why do people think being the favorite and golden child is a good thing?

Because I'm sorry but its the worst thing ever.

Ok I'm sorry I not trying to sound rude or inconsiderate or selfish but it's really bad and I just need to rant my heart out.

Also my situation is a little different because I got really old parents(I'm talking in their 50s).

Ok so let's start with being the "favorite child". Also I'm sorry to all the people who had to deal with worst favoritism and being the unloved child. Ok so I know being the favorite sounds amazing on surface value but it's not. I'm the youngest and you probably expect me to be a spoiled brat who gets everything and narcissistic because I'm the "favorite". But that's far from the truth. I don't get everything I want, I have extremely low self esteem and I'm not a spoiled brat. I honestly used to this that all the stereo types about favored and gifted children were true but now I realize that for me and some others it's not. I used to beat myself up for these things and tbh I still do even though I've come to terms with the fact that there not true.

This is probably due to my siblings. I have two older sisters, both of which are in high school. Because my parents favor me more I have a strained relationship with them(if you can even call it that). There both incredibly bitchy to me and shit. There rude and they criticize my every more. They beat me down whenever they get a chance, even if I'm already at rock bottom. This is probably because they think they have to make me suffer because of our parents. Which isn't fair at all. I can’t even talk to them about my feelings because they'll use it against me or they just call me sensitive and won't give two fucks. They talk to eachother about there feelings and experiences all the time and just disclude me. They also talk about me behind my back and even to our parents. At first when I was younger I thought it was just them joking around with me but I realized when I got older that it wasn't. However my parents "favor" isn't even really big. Our parents still buy then what they want despite saying they wouldn’t. So they beg and get a lot of things but the moment I ask for a book or something there mad at me and calling me a spoiled brat. Which leads me to my next point.

Being the golden/gifted child

If I had a dollar for everytime I had a mental breakdown because of my grades I'd be a million air.

So I have something called academic validation. Meaning that my self worth is solely dependent on my grades. I was always a nerd but this is just to much. My oldest sister used to be in the same role but the pressure was lighter. So when she got into high school she said fuck school and started skipping classes and shit. This was bad but it didn't help that my brother who is 21 now did the same thing but worse. It started with my brother so our parents started to put pressure on my oldest sister and me, the youngest. They said the the middle child grades were fine even though they were lower the both of ours. We were always straight A students but then my sister decided she didn't care anymore that left all the pressure on me. I was only in 5th grade at the time so it was a lot on me. When I talked to my sister about it all she said was "don't care, deal with it". And so I did.

All my middle school years was just academics. I went to a Ib league school so the work was harder than your average American school. I sill managed to keep all A's but I wasn't happy at all. I never got anything for my academics anyway. My parents just brushed it off and said, "Your smart you should get these grades anyway. We shouldn't have to be expected to give you something." All I asked for was a good job or something like that. That night I broke down completely. Then I finally realized that no matter what I do ill never be good enough for anybody. I had no good traits about me. I hear no talent, I wasn't pretty, and I wasn't really a fun person to be around. I over thought everything I did so whenever we played games I couldn't deal with the pressure. Once one of my friends told me "your the only person who I know can make the game hangman unfun." It was supposed to be a joke and we laughed it off but that made me want to cry. That day i realized from another friend that we kinda grew up to fast. Looking at it now I didn’t really have a child hood. I was always fored to play catch up with my older siblings. I always had to be on par with them to even be looked at as a human being.

I was always the one people looked for help to with was good(I love helping people) but it kinda became overwhelming. I kinda just hide it with jokes about myself. I'm the therapist friend but yet I can't tell people my feelings. I can’t talk to my parents, my sisters, my friends, and I don't have a lover. They'll either just brush it off or not care at all. It hurts a lot. This leads me to often be confined and left alone with my emotions.

Which leads to me today. The me currently writing this long ass Ted talk. I have terrible anxiety and zero self worth and I feel the need to be validated with my grades and by the people around me. But even with all this I still feel empty. Like it's just hard. I turn to books and history to try and distract me but that can only take you so far. Also I find myself comparing myself to my friends because my parents always compared me to my siblings. I feel the emine pressure to fit into the mold my teachers, friends, and parents think I am and want. I work as hard as I can but it feels like I always come short.

I apologize sincerely if this comes off as selfish or narcissistic.

I wanna try and over come this and gain confidence in myself but it seems impossible. I'm still only in the 8th grade so maybe it'll finally dawn on me. It's just wherever I try to reach out for help I feel so selfish and entitled. It's like a voice in the back of your mind telling you "People deal with so much worse than this and you have the audacity to cry at these things? You shouldn't feel this way just suck it up. Your just weak, nothings wrong with you."

Thank you for listening to my rant, I apologize for wasting your time.

[pastafossa]

Hey!! Now I’m straight up terrified every time I read the word fibreglass - do you have a post explaining how all of this happened and how we can avoid it?

Typed out the answer, and if you'd also like to see the posts as they occurred in real time, I've gathered them all up:

Major Fiberglass Nightmare Posts Sections

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty <- we are here

Answering the question now and it’s long so imma put the wall in

Honestly I can't say I don't relate because I'm kinda traumatized by the fiberglass now and therefore experience a certain amount of visceral chills every time I hear someone say the word. Ironically, it started really innocuously with this post here which was just a brief, casual, entirely unsuspecting update that I threw out for anyone interested, and from there it just began to spiral. That's why there's no real easy way to jump from part one to two and three, because for a little while there was no realization that anything was wrong. Essentially ya'll got to watch me breathe it in, get sick, and then discover in real time that my entire room had been coated in fiberglass dust. It's almost surreal looking back at those early posts now, tbh. How This Happened: The house I moved into is almost 100 years old so my attic bedroom had no insulation (unlike the rest of the house), since a lot of that space up there was DIY'd, but there was no reason to think this phase of reno would be any different than the other phases. Hell, I hired the (well rated) insulation company for spray-in insulation, and had no plans for fiberglass, which is why I left a lot of my stuff up there uncovered. I was told that was fine, and this would be easy - they'd come in for one day, punch a few small holes in the walls to spray the insulation in, then patch the holes up. I didn't need to cover or move anything, and I'd be able to sleep up there that night. And in fairness, they did that right. Those areas are fine. But there was a section of the walls that had weird joists and that section couldn't use the spray-in. That's where they decided to use fiberglass, and that's where they fucked up. And they fucked up in so many ways, all of which essentially piled up on top of each other to make this into a real nightmare.

These are the things the shitty company did that I'd warn people about if they're looking to avoid a similar situation:

They left the floor vents uncovered/unsealed, which blew the fiberglass dust around my room. They also left my portable AC unit blowing, AND my fan, which worked with the vents to essentially blast the dust up into the air and blow it all over and across every surface.

They were, I believe now, in a rush to get things done in one day. Before I could even ask if I needed to take things out of my room (or at least cover them), they'd already taken the fiberglass up. Taking things out like my bed or my furniture, my plushes, my clothes on their hanging racks, would have taken up time. So instead, they left it all uncovered and exposed to the dust. This is a huge one - so much of this could have been prevented if they'd taken my things out (or even let me take them out!) so that all that would have needed to be cleaned was the floor and walls. I also wouldn't have lost any of my belongings.

They lied about ease of cleanup. Despite the fact that they put on tyvek suits and respirators and gloves to install the fiberglass, they told me that there'd be 'just a little dust' for me to cleanup as it settled over the next few days, and that all I had to do was sweep and dust. As I found out later, this isn't just bad advice - this is actively dangerous advice. Anyone cleaning up fiberglass should not, under any circumstances, try to dry sweep and dust - this just throws the dust up into the air. The INSTALLERS are meant to clean everything up with heavy-duty vacuums with HEPA filters, as well as clean up using a wet-mop. Whatever you're using to clean has to be either wet or a powerful, HEPA vacuum, because anything else will throw it in the air.

Oh hey, so you're also advised to wear a respirator (please remember they also told me I could sleep up there THAT NIGHT - which essentially left me to breathe in fiberglass unprotected), gloves, and goggles to deal with the fiberglass. None of which I was told. I was just told, repeatedly, even after calling the company to tell them about all the fiberglass dust, 'it's just a little dust, you just need to sweep and dust a little. It's safe.' Rot in hell you lying fuckers

According to my friends who have experience in contracting - you are not meant to be the one to clean fiberglass up. It never, ever should have been left to me. Fiberglass is a hazardous substance, it is fucking vicious, and it requires knowledge and training to clean up safely, which the company should have done for me. You can try to clean it up on your own, and some people have to because they either don't have a company nearby that can do hazardous cleanup or because they can't afford it, but it's a nightmare that takes ages (*gestures at how long it took me even with help*). I'm not sure I'd ever have been able to get that room cleaned up on my own.

In short, if you're looking to avoid this happening: at this point if you're ever looking to have insulation put in, do whatever you can to avoid fiberglass. There are easier, safer alternatives. If you do wind up needing to have fiberglass insulation put in:

Make sure the company or person you use has experience with fiberglass. The ones who knew what they were doing have been baffled at just how badly the insulation installers fucked up my room. Do not be afraid to ask them questions - ask them what their safety precautions are, ask them how they'll keep it contained, ask them about cleanup. Hell, tell them you have sensitive lungs if you think it'll help them take it seriously.

Get your shit out of the room, first off. EVERYTHING. Just in case there's a fuckup. Do not assume they'll do everything right. This will also ensure it's as easy as possible to mop and wipe down the walls from end to end.

Make sure the air vents are closed (and a good insulation company will make sure those vents are closed). You want the dust to be able to settle. Don't allow a fan or ac unit to run up there, either, obviously.

Invest in a decent flashlight (you'll need to hunt for the dust and strands of fiberglass) and a good HEPA air filter to pull that shit out of the air if it's there.

I don't care if they say they vacuumed and cleaned. Examine it, hunt for fiberglass, and then run through cleanup even if you find nothing. Mop from end to end, wipe down the walls and all surfaces with something wet (in all my research, vinegar helps break down fiberglass, so invest in some for cleaning and mopping). Do this for days. Wear a mask, good gloves, long sleeves and long pants to protect your skin if you even THINK there's some dust left. Shower the second you leave that space - and shower cold to start. You need to close your pores to stop the fiberglass strands going any deeper, and only after a few minutes should you let the water warm up some to wash away any remaining strands.

Document document document. I'm not just talking pictures. I'm talking video, too, of any issues you find. Record any phone calls if it's legal in your area, and if it isn't then write down EXACTLY how the conversation went with dates and names and times. Get shit in writing, save emails so you have a paper trail ("I'm just emailing to confirm the details of the conversation we had about -insert issue-"). Cover your bases because if you wind up with a company like mine, they'll happily fuck you over and you'll be left holding the bag like I was.

In short... fuck fiberglass. And I hope the above helps if you ever need anything done with fiberglass. It is absolutely not something to fuck around with, and I am still having to throw things away RIP nightstand i finally gave up on and threw out yesterday. Sadly a lot of it could have been prevented if they'd had even a modicum of care, and yet here we are. Hopefully I can use it to help other people avoid the same nightmare happen, though.

Major Fiberglass Nightmare Posts, Part:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty <- we are here

[stateofgrace1303]

My chronic illness, how it started.

*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read

this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story

out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I

might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include

everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I

love you all ❤*

(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm

OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to

share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,

even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it

here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you

all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if

you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got

deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)

Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd

post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life

on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all

just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most

swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this

on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted

to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense

now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.

Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette

Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been

completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at

the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out

TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So

even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take

me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before

the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.

So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards

the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision

became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black

around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.

Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto

my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could

barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we

thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as

possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,

but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats

on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I

was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super

uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually

right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told

them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people

never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We

almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they

took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The

nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea

medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got

worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my

stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw

up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed

they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a

while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food

posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was

completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were

turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to

Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I

couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at

the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she

was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...

But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad

went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for

about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise

I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then

Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be

able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to

me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.

It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital

(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something

very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because

I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in

the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,

struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to

get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12

year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,

and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really

understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting

colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with

my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never

experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just

trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed

me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been

avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his

girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said

"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we

left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really

weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of

both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had

to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to

pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and

then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me

love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so

frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the

set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and

get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going

to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was

holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,

into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard

Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,

and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.

I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed

back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we

stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the

parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het

back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park

wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest

thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of

the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds

of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played

it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this

song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal

conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our

seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew

it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke

up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better

after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't

know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to

the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month

later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a

month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than

the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody

had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on

my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same

thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the

rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly

I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call

my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me

to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they

could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i

woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and

constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was

later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid

doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick

to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose

control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.

And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms

and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it

can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people

think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find

ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and

watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so

dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't

have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I

have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most

days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to

weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its

even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets

depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it

really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I

am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most

disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures

now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a

while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran

in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most

days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since

then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I

got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and

I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body

and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest

but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel

sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.

Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted

to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't

say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I

was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was

discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created

something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic

nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how

important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or

cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of

dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one

kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half

neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and

sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!

Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to

New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a

trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay

for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll

find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and

funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and

Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like

I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I

wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've

been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres

something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes

me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i

smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to

Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it

represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the

magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this

"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And

it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,

after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a

child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially

because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and

health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I

truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't

ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It

won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And

I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still

fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do

really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so

thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors

so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that

can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my

health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10

times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do

this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for

13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me

through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has

a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that

makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...

And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get

better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad

days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,

Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every

single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel

from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I

should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this

thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,

I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping

this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much

and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

@taylorswift @taylornation ����❤ @taylornotices 💜

(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there

they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my

nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand

pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first

aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I

couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small

movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.

Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the

picture is from ❤)