#which isn't meant to have a real answer i think it's just weird and mysterious
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shoechoe · 2 years ago
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this is what so much diavolo analysis/theorizing is like i swear
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penguwastaken · 6 months ago
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Danganronpa 2 Never Said Chiaki Never Existed
In Danganronpa 2, AI Chiaki shows surprise when seeing her profile in the book that Nagito got. A lot of people use this as proof that chiaki never existed, but that's really never said at all.
I figured it was pretty obvious, but the reason she is surprised is because she never knew there was a real Chiaki.
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In chapter 5, both Monomi and Chiaki herself aren't aware of how Chiaki got her personality, so they just assume it might have come from the people that made them.
Of course, Danganronpa 3 later gives us an actual answer and says she was created by the memories of Class 77, directly building off of this mystery in the second game.
Point is, Chiaki doesn't know where her personality came from, who she's based on, or even that there was a real Chiaki at all.
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"Erm but Pengu, they say that Chiaki's profile is fake"
That is never actually stated in game, all that is told to us is that Monokuma slipped in false information.
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However, Monokuma DOES confirm that everything in the book is reused from information provided by the former headmaster (Jin Kirigiri obviously), which causes Nagito to question if the traitor is a former Hope's Peak student.
Once again, Chiaki's presence in Danganronpa 3 seems to be here to tie up these loose ends and mysteries.
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So then what false information did Monokuma include then? Simple, he left Chiaki's profile in. He didn't fake a profile, he just included the profile of someone who wasn't actually in the killing game.
He even admits to ignoring the traitor, which is kind of a weird thing to say if you went out of your way to fake something for their sake.
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AI chiaki is NOT the same as IRL Chiaki
They have different lives, memories, personalities, etc. All they share is the same persona, but ultimately AI Chiaki is just an ai that takes the appearance of Chiaki.
AI Chiaki is her own person, an AI created by Chihiro designed to create a chaperone like student based on the needs and experiences of those involved with the Neo World Program, and it just so happened to result in taking the form of Chiaki because of that. However, it is still not Chiaki. So leaving Chiaki's profile in and implying Chiaki is a part of the killing game is inherently false information.
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At most, Danganronpa 2 leaves whether there was a real Chiaki or not in the open, however it never confirms or denies the existence of one. Nothing in the game outright says that a Chiaki never existed, only that the one we see is an AI of vague origin.
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And if that isn't enough to convince you, during the scene with Chiaki's memory and Hajime, Kodaka says that he felt like Chiaki there felt more real which inspired him to make Chiaki a real person.
"Actually, now that I think about it, when I started making DR3, I got stuck on something from DR2. After Nanami dies in Chapter 5, she comes back in Chapter 6 through a glitch, and when I was writing Nanami for that, I had the idea that she was 'a little bit off'. She’s not like the Nanami we’ve seen so far, I thought; she was never that tender. I had that gnawing at my brain when I was making DR3, and I thought, 'Maybe that really was a different Nanami,' and that’s how I came up with the Nanami in Zetsubou-hen." -Kazutaka Kodaka in an interview
Of course this does not mean Kodaka intended that Chiaki in this specific was meant to be the real Chiaki when making Danganronpa 2. However it DOES show that Kodaka never ruled out the posibility of a real chiaki, because if he did he wouldn't have even come to that conclusion.
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If you want my opinion, this seems like another scenario of people who don't like Danganronpa 3 having their personal interpretation of the story proven wrong and instead of admitting that they were wrong about something they just call it a retcon. The same thing happened with brainwashing, it happened with Mukuro, and I'm certain that's what happened here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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blackstarchanx3new · 7 months ago
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FSR rambles 18 dreams about being gannon
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Direct parallels to Gannon/OOT.
Sweet time to mention Shadow can play the piano haha. I have a plan for a comic on HOW he learned but that's a later date type thing.
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HERO OF TIME HIIIIIII. 💖 Also Naavi.
He's here to murder shadow. Noice.
Seems like Shadow's just getting haunted by this guy considering his appearance earlier in the comic in page 290 -
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Seems like Hero of Time just isn't a fan of him or smth. XDDD
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Ouch. That looked like it hurt.
Also hi who are you.
Also considering I know who you are...Why are your eyes Blue buddy? :D
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"Aw shit. I got sliced"
"Also I'm younger"
Ah dream logic.
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Hi Perry-
I mean uhhh
Totally mysterious purple clad hero.
This is a character from the planned sequel of FSR. and I can't speak much about him. You'd know a decent amount about him if you've seen the FSRA posts.
Also his eyes changed...Again...
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When I dream I have nothing but nightmares too shadow. Smh.
Oh Hi Link. Why are you wearing white and black. Basically the reverse of Dark Link's fit? Not weird at aaaaall considering that wasn't what he was wearing before he pulled the sword...
It's been around for awhile NOW but Shadow's hair changing to have a red streak...much like a certain gerudo man we know isn't odd at ALLLLLL.
Also nice Malice eyes Shadow.
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Yeah I'm sure the magic demonic 8 ball will have the answers you seek Shadow.
Considering the Gannon flashbacks we just saw...Who's "him" Dark? Because Dark could just as easily be talking about Vaati here. But really it's up in the air on who he meant exactly.
Dark keeping his horns from his vaati convo and it appearing on his human ish form was a fun detail to add.
Random note to think about: Dark had to put himself back in Shadow's hat after sneaking off to vaati's house and that imagery is funny so I'm sharing it with you.
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Dark's hair is still vaati colored as well and his behavior is reflecting him still.
Link talking about food and sleeping is just about the most link thing ever so Dark gives absolutely no shits about it.
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Haha you should have chosen your words more wisely shadow...
It ALMOST sounds like you don't WANT Link here...which Dark can pick up on pal-
Oh shit. You repeated it you meant it.
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Yeah don't shout Link could wake up.
Dark kinda SORTA seems to know what's happening...
But he's using "I think" and uncertain language. (You know he's not sure of smth if he's using phrasing like that hah. Since he's usually so self assured in his assumptions.)
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Lol ignore how often my dumbass forgot to keep Shadow's hair right. Mistakes happen. 😅
Hey Shadow, abusing the nutcase isn't gonna get you very far.
Especially because he hates your guts.
Dark's kinda right here tho. Shadow's being selfish as hell rn.
The phrase "Does the word "HERO" just have no meaning to you? You disgust me" specifically gets a chuckle out of me considering who's mouth it's coming out of.
Dark continues to miss identify Shadow as Gannon when he said "you're as old as time" (More of a reference to demise depending on how you look at it but same diff)
Dark sweating visibly showing he's still very much scared of Shadow.
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Shadow pulled his head out of his ass for a second and realized Dark's acting weird. (Like Vaati)
Dark's instant snap back is amusing but also sad. Like. Shadow doesn't "know him" not in any meaningful way. But he does yield and admit he was looking at memories for... YEARS in the head space.
Which is just a level of horror beyond comprehension.
Imagine spending YEARS looking at other people's memories just to get yanked out of it randomly by mr root of all evil himself bitching at you about smth you don't even know about, some guy you had a single conversation with YEARS AGO. But oh yeah. It's only been maybe 8 hours in the real world and all perception of time and reality was thrown off and you're being accused of being a different person after all that shit.
To say Dark Link isn't having a fun or good time would be an understatement.
I touched on it in a fic where Link and Dark bang of all places but Dark's existence is an existential nightmare.
Dark Link's EXISTANCE isn't fun for him. He's gonna mention it later too but he's MISSERABLE and vocal about his misery and pain just being alive.
Something weird to think about: Who's memories was he even looking at?
Really from his vague description it could be ANYONE.
I personally like to think it's vaati's considering he still has his hair shifted to be vaati's tone, is acting like vaati and mentions shadow being "Annoying"
though Link and vio are high possibilities too haha.
A mix of all of them aren't off base either.
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Identity crisis how fun...Dark struggling to separate himself from the memories he's witnessed is concerning to say the least.
At least he's willing to be helpful with what he thinks is going on.
Really he could have just said "Fuck off figure it out yourself" but he offers to try and explain shit to Shadow from his perspective.
Dark's openness to cooperate despite everything is smth noteworthy.
He has literally no reason to do shit like this (Even if it fails) ESPECIALLY considering his distaste for Shadow. He just does shit that's helpful or nice cause he can.
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Just little characterizations that Dark Link is more like Link than you'd first think considering his introduction.
Also OOT reference again with Ganon entering the sacred realm to steal the Triforce of power.
The second Shadow mentions them splitting is a relief, Dark cosplays Vio. XDDDD
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Even Shadow thinks that was Vio like haha.
Dark's avoiding Link is the funniest part of this. "Oh shit he's waking up, gotta run. Don't wanna talk to him." XDDD
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Don't do it Shadow.
It's a terrible idea.
Last time Link was here he was wanting to off himself so he might not be the most mentally sound individual!
Also who's happy to be woken up...
Dark Link being the voice of reason here about the pros and cons to waking Link up or even listening to him haha.
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Considering what happens HAPPENS, that probs would have happened REGUARDLESS of if he was woken up or not. The change really is down to whether or not Shadow would A. Even be around for it. B. Be the one to wake Link up and have that burden on his mind or C. Just let shit happen.
Shadow is putting a ton of pressure on Dark to give answers or be helpful AND CORRECT but like...dude Dark doesn't know, he's guessing too lmfao.
Shadow makes what I consider a very foolish choice which was waking Link up.
Dark held back the explosion aspect but he is here to have fun first so uhhhh...Well he DID say it'd be funny to him and not Shadow.
Shadow defaults to blaming Dark Link "Damn demon" which...Shadow learn some accountability.
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Panel by panel breakdown cause stuffs getting jucy:
1- Interesting outfit choice Link. It's the one he wore when he was a bit younger. So he's got a younger mindset when waking up. Which is just sad.
2- his outfit changes to half blue half green with a purple sleeve, his hands are all sorts of wrong and mish mashed with red and purple nails. His eyes also have the wrong color. His body is distorting all over the place...Interesting.
3- Shadow you shouldn't have said anything. The coward's hiding too lmfao he knows he fucked up.
4- Safe to say he's not very happy.
Link's distorting and glitching is based on video game glitches. Which is fun because: LOZ is a video game.
There's something distinctly haunting and uncanny about buggy/glitchy game assets and I wanted to capture it here.
Like the reality of four people being forced into one body is quite horrifying and the idea of them just bugging out unable to process how many thoughts there are is overwhelming. Literally like overloading a computer or gaming system.
There's also something to be said about how he fully breaks after seeing Shadow Link.
This is brought up later so I'll expand upon it later but the fact literally the only words Shadow Link spoke to LINK was "I'm the hero Link" or smth like that is hysterical.
For living together for 7 years: They truly don't know each other well on a personal level considering their ability to communicate was stunted by Shadow being...Well a Shadow. And I wanna explore that more as the series goes on.
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1- Lol Green hi thanks for trying to stay calm.
2- Vio's here too. Something tells me calming down isn't working considering your face is cracking more and the tunic is flashing different colors.
3- Shadow I swear to god, shut your mouth-
4- Yeaaaaaah we saw that coming. Ouch looks painful. Good thing that body is magic hahaha.
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Link's just not having a good time at all. XD
I think a few people caught this but Link breaking down here was based on the forced gem fusions in SU also the distorted static version of the cartoons from learning with pibby XD
It was good inspo for how horrific this scenario is.
Really all of them are just kinda, shoved in there. Unable to truly escape and they're NOT HAPPY about it.
Blue specifically is trying to get out as we'll know later and we get more context on his thoughts about this ordeal from the Darkblue chapter... But visually you can see Link's got two faces and it remains consistent that that's Blue.
Which, is terrifying.
There's also the underlying horror that the "Why" Link is back in one body isn't truly addressed but we'll get more into that later.
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Shadow running for his damn life haha.
I'd be scared too if that mess was crawling at me.
The sad thing is that Link's reaching out for help and Shadow responds by screaming in terror lmfao.
Cause Link seems monstruous at the moment but the reality of the situation is he's very clearly conscious and scared. He's reaching out to the only person he can, which is Shadow.
I think this might be my favorite design of Link in this state. It's just horrific to look at. The eyes bleeding onto both his faces which are cracked like mirrors so you can't tell what he's looking at. He has Vio and Blue's legs sticking out of his back, and entire extra head forcing its way off his main one, it's hard to tell from these but his skin is glitching in both Red and Blue's separate skin tones (Blue's being a bit darker and Red's being lighter)
His tunic is pitch black which, black absorbs all wavelengths of light and reflects none...Literally keeping it trapped haha.
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Yeah. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING.
Anyway, Link/Green, Vio and red are all reaching out to shadow but blue is suspiciously absent haha.
Them grabbing onto Shadow is smth Vio would do...
The four sword's lil gem thingy is glitched to shit too. Each colored piece being a different size. Green's is noticeably larger while Blue and Red's are about the same size. Vio's is the smallest.
Shadow's hat is doing that thing Dark does when he's upset where it clings to his body.
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Yeah feeling like you can't do anything would be a feeling you fall into frequently being trapped as a shadow.
Take that agency back Shadow it's been robbed from you for too long.
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Blue: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!!
Jokes aside I love this moment. Link getting more stable as he keeps Shadow close to him is sweet.
Link just needed a hug. UwU
Or...Less cute option: Maybe...The triforce of power had something to do with it...
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Link/Red crying immediately when Shadow says a single word lmfao.
Link's so pretty I love him. I'm glad he's back a bit.
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"Shadow, stop talking." could apply to everything he says to link as of rn. XD
Link's still very much emotionally distressed and I'd be too after THAT SHIT SHOW.
I do think it's funny how Link is wearing black here and Shadow is wearing white. (It's just his usual underclothes without his tunic)
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Yes shut up and please just hug him it's clearly what he needs rn Shadow. X'D
Perfect cut off point lmfao.
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sweetfirebird · 15 days ago
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okay I stewed on it and I know it's a Stephen King miniseries from the 90s so who cares but having watched two King miniseries from the 90s this week (and who once watched The Mist as well), they have the same flaws but in Storm of the Century, the flaws are especially obvious and I need rant about it on the internet for a second. This is a mess of thoughts and I don't care.
I am going to ignore how the danger of the storm changed from moment to moment depending on what was convenient for the action. And I am also going to assume that a lot of the costuming and makeup decisions were a matter of budget and not character hints or anything. I know this production was not that deep. I know that.
That said (whew boy), this story does that thing that some King stories do where they are structured like a mystery (in fact, SotC and Rose Red are both set up like that, and a closed circle mystery at that). So there is horror but the mystery conventions are front and center--until the end, when King abandons them, and you, completely. Something that probably worked more in a 90s tv miniseries format where it was unlikely that people would rewatch it, or watch it all at once with other miniseries, so the issues would be less glaring.
Anyway. So because it's set up like a mystery, your brain is looking for clues like it's a mystery--and you are apparently given clues. Which is why the endings feel especially stupid and meaningless because all indications were that the ending and big reveal was going to matter!!
But then, JJ Abrams surprise! the endings do not matter and none of the clues mattered or were even really clues! And you feel stupid for thinking they were!! You fucking idiot, expecting competent writing!
This is slightly less the case with Rose Red, but it's still evident there. All the showy bits, all the references, all the details that seemed relevant because the story focused on them? Just window dressing to make the story seem deeper and/or cooler than it actually was.
Let's talk SotC because this set up several possibilities for the identity of the big bad and then it never really answered them.
Since part of his identity was his undefined threat hanging over the townspeople for most of the series, one would assume his threat was meant as a clue, right? And that all conversations about him and his threat were then also clues, right?
Wrong. None of it was relevant. He is just a bad demon guy or something and incidentally implies Christian Hell might be real but don't worry about it. Also he dresses like a wizard. A stupid wizard. Now, again, because every single story element has been about this guy and his motives, you would think this identity issue would be resolved. But no.
And then we get into the things specifically mentioned regarding this guy and how actual good storytelling would have used them better.
For example
In the beginning, the camera lingers on a sign for a daycare that is called "Wee Folk" so oh okay, are the fae involved?
no. red herring in the mystery that King had no interest in resolving. Because it's not a mystery it's a horror story. It's just written like a mystery until the end so shut up.
Then we get a Biblical story about Legion, so oh ok, is this about that?
Never mentioned again don't worry about it.
Hell is mentioned and he's called the Devil more than once, though he says he isn't. (Though the Devil would lie, I suppose, but would he dress like a stupid wizard?)
Roanoke gets mentioned, several times, in the corniest aspect of the whole thing, and is also never resolved but I guess the implication is that the people of Roanoke chose not to listen to the weird random bad guy who showed up there. And this is just a thing he does sometimes every few hundred years even though from what else he says, it sounds like there is a time limit, and also why wouldn't he try it elsewhere in the meantime? Fuck you for asking! This isn't a mystery, it's a horror! Just because it's structured like a mystery doesn't mean anything! Pay no attention to the man behind the c--
And then, and this one is the most egregious to me because it shows how little thought went into this story--they mention the Book of Job. I'm not going to explain Job here but that is.... not a book that I think should be brought up lightly if you are exploring why bad things happen to good people and/or asking where god is during dark times. (you heard me, season two of Good Omens, I said what I said). But if you are going to bring it up in a story like this... then you'd better fucking address it. It's not just a "clue" in the mystery that never was, it's fucking thematically relevant!!! Writing 101! What the actual fuck, Stephen King?
idk what Methodists in small-town Maine think of the Book of Job or the Old Testament in general, but how this book is perceived and interpreted by Methodists/Christians feels like an issue worth exploring in a story about god leaving you to suffer and taking your children. What would you expect the "good" Methodists on this island to think and do.
The Book of Job discussion also again sets up the idea that this entire thing is part of a divine plan or test. But I guess it wasn't!!! What kind of idiot would think it mattered just because they kept mentioning it! And showing shots of the small town buildings with quotes about god and faith on them!!!!???? You must be really stupid if you think any of that was important! Scary monster man! Wizard clothes! Sharp teeth! grrr!
Okay. OKAY and then, related to that subject. Outside of this movie, in like, faith circles, there is talk about possessions and angelic or demonic visitations are about how the possession (or visitation) is not really about the person it's happening to. It's about someone else. Or several others. It's about showing them something or testing them. And on this fucking island in this story, we are shown one person who is consistently mentioned as trying to be good, and to see the good in others. Despite all the crap around him. When horrible secrets are exposed, his worst secret is cheating on a test one time for something that wasn't even his major.
So clearly that is important too, right? This is maybe some Old Testament-esque test for the town, or for him, or the bad stupid wizard demon man is here to torment and test this guy specifically, right?
no.
he's just here to be evil, and dress like a wizard, and then leave, the end. and the good guy is like a little sad at the end but moves and gets a new job and I guess that is supposed to be some sort of Job thing? But then also no and everyone mostly on, the end.
And it was corny. Did I mention it was corny? Colm Feore tried though. The second they mentioned Roanoke, I groaned out loud. The constant CONSTANT use of children's rhymes to indicate scary things will happen? the nonsense couplets about sin???? implying he isn't evil maybe but instead a more Old Testament way of punishing sinners? Just there to sound cool. Ultimately meaningless. Fuck you again.
Oh and it definitely felt stretched. It got repetitive real fast, which--surprise! also felt like it was on purpose at first because the villain said outright, "Hell is repetition."
But it wasn't on purpose. It was just padding the run time.
I will stop now. This isn't even really a review. I just was not expecting to say, "This is so fucking stupid" out loud as many times as I did while watching this.
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txttletale · 1 year ago
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ok, thank you for the answer irt worm! now what about all of the other wildbow webthings?
pact is pretty good it's a horror story about a trans-coded guy called blake who goes through horrible things nonstop for a million words. the pacing's absolutely fucked (blake goes to toronto for basically no reason and ends up stuck there for like a third of the book lol) but the world's very evocative and the story has a fun take on magic that plays with symbolism and narrative in a way that makes it worth reading
twig is also pretty good. it's kind of like a biopunk espionage thriller about plucky teens becoming horrendously traumatized young adults in a world where frankenstein was real and the british empire conquered the world using nasty flesh monsters. it's nonstop body horror and weird social intrigue and the back half is a genuinely grueling to read slog through the protagonist having a total fucking meltdown but it is (like most wildbow works!) just bursting with cool ideas that could have each fueled an entire novel on their own
ward is the sequel to worm and its bad and not good because 1. it was obviously barely planned out compared to his earlier work and so a lot of it makes very little sense and story arcs get dropped like hot potatoes, 2. around this point wildbow started paying a lot of attention to fan reactions and writing in direct response to them which is the mind-killer, 3. at some point it starts feeling like wildbow was just straight up miserable writing it and hated doing so and it shows
pale is set in the same universe as pact but isn't a direct sequel. it was meant to be a short little murder mystery and by all accounts started out really really good with great characters and a fun mystery and cool concepts. however now its 3 million words long and a lot of people think that by Not Ending like two million words ago it's written itself into being a load of unreadable garbage by now. i havent read it and probably wont ever because 3 million words is a lot of words
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hychlorions · 2 years ago
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If you had to rank each Apollo Justice case on a 10-point scale, what would your ratings be?
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honestly i like them all so much and it's been a while since i've last played AA4 so it's hard to give an answer without having to sit down and think about it :"D but assuming you wanna sit down for something long-ish, i'll start them all off on a perfect 10 and here's what i'd give deductions for:
Turnabout Trump (4-1) - i'd leave it at a 10 tbh. absolutely banger case for setting the tone for the rest of the game. i don't recall anything i disliked about it atm so i'm assuming there's nothing at all :>
Turnabout Corner (4-2) - hickfield/hotti existence. get him outta here! but on the other hand there's an exchange about klavier pausing a world tour to see the little boy that bested his brother that can mean different things depending on if you're playing the game for the first time or if you're replaying it. on first playthrough i assumed the judge's shock at klavier returning meant he hasn't taken another case since kristoph's arrest in 4-1, which. fair i guess bc prosecutors probably take cases more regularly than the waa in-universe but it's nothing to blink twice about yknow. HOWEVER replaying it after having gone through 4-4 (esp given how he mentions the gavinners to the judge) it starts to seem as if klavier ran off with his band for seven years and didn't come back until after his brother was arrested. which. >:3 hehe
-3 points for creep factor. +1 however for the simple joy of making me tear my hair out over klavier's mystery hiatus length
Turnabout Serenade (4-3) - people give this case too much shit tbh. it's the funniest case in the game and you guys just have no sense of humor 😭 me, lover of comedy, however, can appreciate it for what it is, and it's that 4-3 is the best demonstration of aa's sense of humor. my only gripe with it is that daryan's mentioned to be the first detective klavier's ever worked with. however in turnabout succession the detective shown in the flashback for the gramarye trial (klavier's courtroom debut) isn't daryan, but gumshoe. this isn't elaborated upon any further, so i am sitting here. wondering what mystery case klavier worked on that got resolved without going to court wherein daryan is the detective AND happened before the gramarye trial. i understand prosecutors but WHY pray tell are they shoving 17 year-olds into a detective position on the police force. god.
-2 for in-universe labor laws implications. +2 for klavier's weird forehead obsession (he has about three lines about apollo's forehead) and also the fact that this case has the most canonical uses of herr forehead out of all the cases in the entire ace attorney series at ~61 uses out of the total 129 (including DD). +1 more for being so rife with lines you could use as basis for headcanons ("straight except when he's depressed" "i should've learned to play guitar" "her quiet, deep song glides through the air... lilting above a sparse, but elegant piano accompaniment" i'm so sorry as a klapollo enthusiast this is the case of all time to me)
Turnabout Succession (4-4) - gorl you know the last case of the series has to be the most nailbiting one. such is the case for turnabout succession... if only the mason system didn't royally succ. do you know how hard it is to piece together the timeline for post- and pre-gramarye trial for someone like me?!?! (is forgetful) not to mention the fact that kristoph has apparently only met vera once but already knew she bites her nails when she's nervous? did you put a camera in their house or something? weirdo. however only in burning piles of rubble will real gems reveal themselves. *holding up the scene where zak explains the gramarye powers to phoenix, subsequently revealing the trucy-apollo siblingisms all along* isn't she beautiful?
-4 for being an inconvenient pain in the ass and kristoph's nail polish murder plot that crumbles under a magnifying glass and kristoph's stalking extent implications. +1 for bracelet lore you know i love me some bracelet mechanics (taps my homemade "THE BRACELET DOESN'T TIGHTEN" sign like a proud father)
Final answer:
4-3: 11/10
4-1: 10/10
4-2: 8/10
4-4: 7/10
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kinetic-elaboration · 19 days ago
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October 19: As Above, So Below
Today's horror movie, picked at random from what was available on Netflix: As Above, So Below. After I finished, I skimmed over some critical reviews and was surprised by how negative they were? I don't know, I enjoyed it.
I actually did find it frightening, in a tense/eerie/distressing way, which I think is what gets me more than anything else. Like most horror hasn't really been scaring me lately but I do feel decidedly unsettled now. It's the uncanny, the not-rightness that really fucks me up.
I think some people just automatically don't like found footage films and I understand that they're very difficult to keep coherent and watchable (thinking of Halloween Resurrection, which isn't really found footage but does use a lot of on-person-camera footage, and which is in fact quasi-unwatchable). They also tend to be slower because they're more 'real time' than traditional movies. Like I feel like some of the criticism is 'this is bad as found footage go' but the rationale for the bad-ness sounds an awful lot like 'I do not like this genre.' Or maybe I'm not being fair about it. I'm not an expert.
Anyway, I was quite tense pretty much the whole time, to be honest, and I would say to anyone who was claustrophobic, definitely do not watch this. I think I found it scarier than Blair Witch--possibly or possibly not more distressing, I'd have to rewatch--though it did not get more scary up to a scariest climax, like that one. At some point it leveled off a little for me, around the time that Scarlett learned the real treasure was the friends we make along the way or whatever.
I was least sure of...where it got the most explicitly supernatural I suppose, and also of the more moralistic aspects--haunted by sins, escaping through repentance, etc. But this is sort of a weak criticism, first because I don't really know enough about Dante's Inferno to know if what I'm watching is extremely cursorily related or super deep, and also because I do understand the concept of hell, so like the idea that they are individually haunted/personally punished in some way is reasonable. Would I personally have toned some things back? Yeah, but only a couple (stone vampires in particular lololol) and that feels nit picky.
I was somewhat surprised by the ending because, except for the need for the found footage to be found in some way--imo a minor detail--I sort of didn't expect them to make it out. Like, any of them. I guess Scarlett was set up as way too smart and capable etc to actually fail, plus if she doesn't figure things out enough to get out then we don't get answers to questions or plot points wrapped up. But also I don't care about that so much. I didn't feel like the film as a whole was about solving a specific mystery so much as it was about people fucking around and finding out. Like the 'answers' seemed sort of tacked on; I only saw at the point those answers were given that previous distressing phenomena were meant to be open questions we'd eventually circle back to, as opposed to just uncanny, weird details present in this unexplainable space. Like if ever there was a genre that COULD leave loose ends, it's horror.
Anyway, i probably would have ended it by killing Zed too and then leaving Scarlett and George wandering. Maybe their last remaining camera stops working, and before it dies, she says "We just have to keep going," the phrase she's had on repeat for a while, and that's it. You can still do the last bookend scene and if you needed to explain how the footage got out of the tunnels just say some later explorer found it, I don't care.
Overall, it was worth watching, probably would watch again.
ETA: but people who dislike it specifically because they find Scarlett annoying are misogynists and should just say it lol.
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peeterparkr · 3 years ago
Text
perennial;tom holland|eighteen.
chapter eighteen: yellow pansy ↳ flower meanings:  thinking of you.
chapter summary: you left a journal in his top drawer. pairing: tom holland x y/n warnings: haha you’re going to HATE ME word count: 11.5K
previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.
perfidy  ( series masterlist)
it took me ages write this, my writersblock was awful BUT IT’S HERE ! We are missing one more chapter but here it is! I hope you don’t hate me as much as I think you will, I split the ending in two chapters because it was LONG, so expect the final chapter in these days
Please help me out reblogging tags havent been working for me and I know this will flop but I’m really happy I got back into writing
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You kept a journal. With flowers printed on them. Each and every single one was given by him. You had recently remembered it, wondering where in your room it could be. Hidden behind some other lost forgotten memories or some other unforgettable mysteries. You wondered if the flowers had kept their color. Most of them hadn’t.
“Well, here goes to the happily ever after,” you said as you smiled, even when the notebook was still roaming your mind.
Tim offered a gentle smile, watching carefully, as the white dress fell down.
When it comes to love stories, happy endings are what we wish for. Life, unfortunately, isn’t like that. But often we are bombarded with stories that are just too good to be true, enough for us to believe this. With them down the sunset on a white horse. With prince charming being charming enough.
With Mister Darcy as the sun is rising telling Elizabeth “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.”
With Donna and Sam getting married, and a bunch of friends singing Abba songs.
With Noah and Ally peacefully drifting off, hand in hand.
With Baby and Johnny Castle dancing together.
Characters that are but a reflection of our deepest dreams. Ones that are kept secret and shut for the world. With stories that make us believe we are happy.
It’s fine to shield in. But it’s no good to dwell on them.
We often don’t get what we wish for when we shield in a dream.
You wondered, what about Valerie and William?
Or… Tom and Y/n?
Your own story was supposed to be kept a secret, yet it ended up being a script and then a movie that would be seen by thousands. Your story transformed into a story people could shield on. A story that had been merely sentiments, then words and a very bad misunderstanding and… then a film.
Seeing yourself on someone else might have been what helped you understand it. Transforming your story into characters and trying to portray a love story that was born out of hatred… had probably been the first mistake.
If we can say it was ever a mistake. How big of a mistake can it be when it brings you so much joy?
Your luck hadn’t been enough for your own faith. But you always wondered, what happens after the happily ever after? Is it truly the outcome? When two souls find each other? Isn’t it only the beginning?
Valerie and William hadn’t had it.
The story ended with Valerie and Robbie getting together, it fit. That’s how the story had been driven. Tom and you had discussed it over and over, the story was written for Valerie to end up with Robbie.
“This is a story, y/n, it’s not us.” He had assured you. “We need to disconnect from it.”
And it wasn’t. It wasn’t you. But how much had those characters stolen from you?
How disappointing, but you made the decision along with them.
It had been painful to relive some things, and the changes to the script had been made to soothe the pain.
But they had a happily ever after. Separate ways.
Who would’ve thought you’d be so right?
Films and stories often end when marriage comes, or when the couple finally gets together, the happily ever after. You barely believed it was the ending.
Because the real journey began with it. Doesn’t it? Isn't the true adventure when they find each other?
When something goes wrong, though, it means the journey isn’t over. The happily ever after is the ending isn’t it? Isn’t the story over until after they’re happily ever after?
Love, though it might be one of the most precious things, often comes with a heartbreak. A tragedy. It didn't hurt this time, though.
But love, when it’s real, doesn’t seem like a loss even if it ends. Because, isn’t it the ending when they finally are together? If we follow that rule, that the ending is when they’re together then it wasn’t the ending.
Or was it?
You couldn’t help but wonder, however…What if you lived a lie? Just a fairy tale that wasn’t supposed to have a happily ever after.
Though the script was far from reality, you felt like your own story was twisted. Why weren’t you in your ‘happily ever after’?
Maybe the side story was yours. Because you were not the princess about to walk into the sunset.
“I really love the dress,” Tim commented.
You did too, but it had you wondering about happily ever after?
What happens to them after the credit rolls? What happens to the characters when the last page ends? Are those characters strong enough to keep together? Are their stories just dried out? Like flowers. Easily forgotten in a journal hidden in your room.
A bouquet that once served as a beautiful symbol now was scattered on top of the shelf, as a few petals fell down.
Flowers dry out.
“Yes, magnificent,” you answered.
The dress made you remember the day you thought it would last forever. That Tom and you would have that ever after. That it wouldn’t dry out.
Tom had only looked up at you, sitting finally on a director chair and he had smiled. Gently. Caring.
And that thought came to your mind. “I hope this lasts forever.”
And for a moment you thought it could. Maybe it was the endless smiles or the constant yellow flowers adorning your room that would end up on your journal.
But nothing ever does last forever. Not the good things. Not pancakes, or ice cream, or street hot dogs. Moments don’t last forever, that’s why you have to grasp to them.
And there was a point at which you knew, you knew it wouldn’t last forever. Because the film continues.
However, you liked to think that love was like a flower. One that grows. Not one that is cut to be given. A perennial one. One that blooms, and continues to bloom when it’s taken care of. But perennial flowers don’t bloom all the time.
A flower can’t bloom for eternity. And a cut flower will not preserve.
In stories and films, we know detail by detail. From the very first word, to the last breath. But when it comes to your own, you often forget what is important. We barely stop to see, and suddenly, life escapes from your hands and you’re stuck in a moment and you can’t get out.
Before you know it, all you’re left with is a script and a movie you can’t bear to watch because it brings too many memories. But good ones, that is. Mostly good.
Before you know it, you have a box with his stuff, and you’re texting to see when you have to drop them off. And before you know it, he is standing there, and you’re hoping he will beg for one last time because you will give it, but he never does, and stays quiet. Too quiet.
Not every love is perennial. Not every love is meant to bloom again.
Perennial flowers, when they bloom, are the most wonderful. But when they’re away, the skies are gray.
But somehow, we go through it. At least you tried to.
The ‘what if’ comes as something complicated. No pillow talks would’ve helped your case, it seemed like any smiles were now hidden under the bed.
It’s needless to say and regard the multiple emotions that had gone by in the relationship, that week it started or that month it finished. That year, if we are honest. That whole year of your relationship. And you had to look back at it. For it all started in a breakup, that had opened the door to be with the love of your life. It all started with a revenge.
It was weird to see it. How a year before you dated Tom, you would have gone with Tim. How you had expected it, how you thought Tim was the endgame. How that year Harry had asked if you would marry Tim and you’d answered that maybe you would.
How at some point you had considered it again. How you even considered Harry. But Tim.
Had Tim waited for a little bit longer, maybe things would’ve turned out quite different. You were thankful he hadn’t. Tim and you were a lesson to each other. Tim had shown you you can be loved and you had shown Tim he can love. Tim and you were fine now, he had found a girl. Lily. Her name was Lily. Purity. Rebirth.
Because, although it had seemed that Tim had died a little with your last conversation before officially letting him go, he had seen himself shine again. How surprising, her name was Lily. Such a coincidence.
Lily, a girl that could easily be passed by. Yet Tim had stopped to see her.
Tim and you would never share what you both said in that conversation. The last flower he had given you was a daisy. A secret between two friends.
Cherry and you went back to what you were before, strangers to each other. But she’d found a girl, by luck. Heather. She was happy now. Happiest.
A year had gone by. Many things had changed. Mostly you, and though you would look back to your past self and warn her that another heartbreak by Tom would be coming, you wouldn’t change it.
A breakup had opened many doors.
Maybe this one would too.
It was bound to come. How on earth were you supposed to grow flowers on a battlefield? But you’d built it together.
And you had. And everything was good, with sunsets and polaroids, and flowers. And fights that would cycle and cyle. But end up cuddling watching reruns of an old 80’s tv show that you barely watched because you were too busy staring into his eyes.
With old fights that would resurface and other secrets that kept chasing you both. But it was good, when you were trying to get the garden back into place, to try and forget the battlefield. Loving him had come so easily, though. Waking up by his side was taken for granted.
You had thought loving him would be a buzzing street, with crowds bustling as the rain is about to begin. You thought loving him would be a Friday night waiting for someone to show up but never did.
You were wrong.
Loving him was walking through a flower field, and taking a Polaroid of the most beautiful sunset. Loving him meant holding his hand and kissing over and over again.
But loving him meant that the sun eventually would set.
And maybe the heartbreak that had come with this one hadn’t been an actual heartbreak and maybe that’s why it hurt. Because it didn’t.
Maybe you’d forged a heartbreak or a relationship. Maybe that had been it, conning yourselves into believing you were fine when you were far from it.
Looking back maybe it was because of Rome, New York, and eventually LA. Cities that you once said you wouldn’t dare to go back to. But now you are willing to visit. Happily, it’s better to walk in a city full of memories rather than one pointless illusion of the memories you could’ve had.
He had gone to New York, and still took his Polaroid everywhere. A habit you loved about him, it seemed he became an expert on holding onto memories.
The breakup had come after James’ wedding. Lovely wedding, by the way. Fairytale full of wonder. A year ago, shortly after the film had premiered, a year after it finished filming.
It was supposed to come. Because when your own brother was finding his way, you had lost yours.
But what happened? When did life slip in? When did it start ending?
Before you knew it, you had packed your stuff without you being aware of it. You had packed everything up, except your own heart. You left your heart right there, right next to that stupid journal, in his upper drawer, right next to his bed. Had he opened that drawer ever since or had he forgotten about it?
There was your journal, not in your room. In his. And he hadn’t given it back.That’s why you felt lost. Your heart was imprinted there and he hadn’t given it back.
But you had packed everything else, with him not even trying to stop you. Just watching you circle around.
Was it fear? Maybe it had been fear, from both. You supposed that’s how life was. Loving was not a duty.
You only had one request for him, one last request: “Remember me, I was the one to love you, and I was the one to call in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. Just remember me when we’re no longer here.”
Because it hadn’t been your fault, your life just slipped in. Distance. No time for calls. Your job getting too much recognition, his job getting even more. Fights that were only to push each other away so it wouldn’t hurt when you both were away. Maybe being enemies had come useful when it was supposed to end.
Fight, and more fights in the end. Yet you were gripping each other. And life had just slipped in. Like it always does.
And it wasn’t him. And it wasn’t you.
“Tell me you actually want it to end,” he had asked when you had the final box.
You didn’t. But there wasn’t much you could do, expect walk out the doors.
Or was there? But even if it was a breakup, you both agreed to remain friends, and then it transformed into little excuses to see each other.
Because it didn’t end up badly. It had been life slipping in. With barely having any time for something that needed too much time to build on.
Filming initially had helped you, how beautiful it was creating it, what a beautiful outcome it had been out of your heartbreak. With music, and fights and everything that was splendid.
Maybe the film wasn’t a huge success, but it had been enough for you both to try and mend it after.
But when filming had ended and you had to go back, that’s when the problems started. His job, your new one. Him there, you here. When you were together, it was amazing, worth it. But then you barely could. And you could barely grip each other.
Then you were too different. Then you were just the same, so stubborn and stupid.
Then it was old arguments, and new ones.
When was it gone? Had he stopped loving you?
He had asked you, near the end. “Do you still love me? Are we still enough?”
“I do love you.” But you hadn’t answered the second question. And what was it? Why wasn’t it? “Why wouldn’t we?” you had questioned.
“Dunno, it’s delicate.”
It was.
Maybe it had been James’ words for Clark. About how love shouldn’t be forced, how love should be simple and love shouldn’t be hurt. About how they built it together. How it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t complicated.
And then Clark had said it, too. How he loved being with someone that he enjoyed silence with. How love was more than passion. How love was more than a kiss. Seeing how simple it had been for them, was a bit disappointing for you both. Your relationship was anything but simple.
And it wasn't now because you didn’t trust each other, or because you wanted to fight. No, it simply was life telling you, you shouldn’t be together. And maybe it was also the fact that you both thought you worked because you had never experienced silence together. Always a wreck. Always a mess. Always so passionate. But… was it only that? Maybe it was the passion of the moment.
You knew Tom still played the conversation with Tim over and over in his head. How by the end he said he felt guilty by it all.
You too, you were both driven by guilt and guilt eventually snaps you.
So it ended.
“Is it too soon to end this?” You had asked him.
Tom had shrugged. “Would you rather it be late?”
But that didn’t mean you… had to stop seeing each other. Or did it? So you based your new relationship on excuses. And the excuses had grown. ‘I need to give you this hoodie’, ‘I forgot my charger at your place’ ‘I need someone to drive me to do errands’, ‘I need help running lines’, ‘I need a date for this party.’
And then they didn’t even make sense. ‘I can’t open a jar’ ‘I can’t watch this movie alone’ ‘I need to rant about the ending of this series’ ‘I sneezed and no one blessed me’. Stupid things. And then it was the truth ‘I need to listen to your voice’. ‘I miss you’. ‘I want to see you’.
But it was only seeing each other, with no… relationship. No kissing, no anything. Only excuses. A… friendship.
True friendship, for the first time ever. And you could talk for hours with him until the sun came out, and you could laugh with him.
Maybe it hurt that it wasn’t more, but maybe it was never meant to be like that. But you were in a good place. In the best place you had been. The strongest you had both been, too. How civil you were with clothes on. And how many times had you stopped your will to undress him.
Your lips searched for his but they never got what they wanted, your hands hurt from keeping them to yourself, and your heart would only ache a bit.
From both sides.
Seemed that both of you knew what you had to build up on. And maybe you both knew the risk that would come if you were willing to give it a try without having something to settle on.
Maybe that’s why it didn’t hurt. Because it would bloom again, right? Maybe you were preparing the dirt to plant it in. Not loose flowers now. Have seeds.
Or that’s the idea you built yourself into. Because honestly. Had you ever been more than enemies with benefits?
But now, you were friends. Good friends. Maybe you were in love with him, and grown fonder of him now. Really, really in love. But friends. Friends who stared a little bit too much into each other’s eyes, or friends who would easily recognize each other’s laughter. Friends who would have their feet up the headboard and talk about life. Friends who instinctively would give the other a bite of their food or offer a sip of their drink.
Friends who would take a deep breath each time the other walked into the room, and friends who avoided getting too close that it would be mistaken for something else. Secret moments. Standing on the other sides of the room, turning your head away each time your eyes met.
Maybe you didn’t get the happy ending you wished for, or not the one you had expected to.
But you were happy. And it had ended. Those things were unrelated.
But a lot had changed.
Ay first, you had to fight the urge to undress him. Now you had to fight the urge to stare too long into his smile.
Really, a lot had changed.
Tom had started dating someone else, you didn’t know how long that lasted. You had pretended not to care, although you did.
You went out on dates, too. Didn’t inform him, either. Not explicitly. Though he did know.
Because you were friends. That was the happy ending you deserved.
A lot had changed.
And you were currently helping a bride tie that bow in her dress as she stared at her reflection. Her hair hung to her shoulders and half of it was tied with perfect braids. She was finally having her happy ending.
“Are you ready for the veil?” Timmy asked, as he watched the reflection of the bride.
“Can you give me a bloody second, Timothée?” Emma snapped with her usual tone. “I’m fucking busy right now, the veil can wait, don’t be a dick.”
You only held your laughter eyeing Tim. Tim and you had stopped looking at each other like you felt guilty for a while now. Tom’s jealousy had not exactly been driven away, you guessed it never would go.
But surprisingly enough, they became...friends. Or they could stand each other now after James had talked to both of them.
James and the married life that seemed to suit him. His wedding had been very small, but charming nonetheless. You wondered if you would’ve had something like that, very personal.
Quite a different story from Emma and Harry now. Whose love had conquered. And they had had a rough patch but how difficult can it be when you find your soulmate?
Maybe Harry and Emma had Tom and you doubting too. Tom and you had seen several times that you were not meant to be. Your coincidences in life had not been so, rarely coincidences but the both of you fighting for something. Too stubborn to admit that life was getting in the way.
Tom and you had all the odds in your favor and the ones to fuck it up were you both.
While Harry and Emma always had everything against them and they managed to work it out.
Who’re the soulmates here?
“What a lovely thing the blushing bride is, eh?” Tim rolled his eyes.
Emma had been… quite the bride. Everything had to be perfect, which was not likely for Emma to be that way. But she did say it, since she was marrying the love of her life it had to be big enough. In a rustic hotel, full of books and vintage furniture. A very cottage-like wedding. Very Emma and Harry. Unique.
It was perfect.
It had to, honestly. After the crossroads… everything had changed for them.
How Emma and Harry got back together was no mystery, Harry had been brave enough to go for her. When two souls are meant to be even the rockiest path will be easy to travel by.
It was the opposite of what you and Tom used to have. Emma and Harry had all the friendship, relationship settled, they just missed… the passion.
And so when they found each other, and were like two horny teenagers running around, it became...so effortless. Because they had something built upon.
As if life was rewarding them for their patience. For the love they shared. For each and every smile.
Both wild flowers, Often disregarded, had found each other, and created the most beautiful bouquet.
You only chuckled at Tim’s remark. “Splendid bride.”
While you and Tom had never been friends. Only too driven by the other, and passion and… when it ended? What were you? Were you merely nightly romance?
Tim groaned. “Emma—“he raised the veil. “I’m not trying to—I just think you should be wearing this already.”
“Shut up,” Emma granted. “I will but right now I’m—“
“Staring at your reflection?” Tim challenged. Because Emma was actually just doing that. Staring at the perfect dress she was wearing. Shining brightly like a diamond against the sun, her skin perfectly sparkled.
Emma looked for your glance in the mirror,”y/n, love.”
“Yes?”
“As my maid of honor, what are you willing to do?”
You offered her a grin, “Anything.”
Emma stared into your eyes. “Kill Timothée.”
You chuckled, “Almost anything, you should’ve asked earlier. I don’t want to get blood in my dress.”
Tim was surprised by your words. “So you would’ve?”
“Possibly, I don’t want to encounter a bridezilla Emma.”
Timmy threw his hands in the air. “I just want to help.”
“Well, don’t,” Emma and you said at the same time.
“I’m going to check on the guys, I am one hundredth percent sure they’re still in their pj’s drinking beer,” You commented.
The hotel room for the boy’s was only a floor below. It was everything Harry and Emma had probably wished for. An outdoor wedding that was planned to the very perfection. Very fairytale like. Lights hanging from trees, flower petals covering the aisle, daisies as the centerpieces, and daisies in Emma’s hands. Emma’s dream had always been an outdoor wedding.
When speaking with Emma and Harry both had stated that they made the decision not to give up. Always leaving you to wonder.
There was a part of you that was blinded by desirous thoughts. Had it been a mistake? To conclude a relationship that you had fought so long for?
Lately it had been.
You made your way to the elevator and as it opened you found a familiar face. He seemed uneasy, though.
“Y/N!” His voice was only a confirmation to his precarious state.
Your cheeks furrowed as you smiled, “Clark, hi!”
“Y/N,” he greeted you with a hug, a very nervous hug. as you stepped into the elevator. “Fuck, you look stunning. Loving the flowers on the hair.”
The dress was absolutely stunning, you had to give in that Emma’s taste was remarkable. Sky blue had been her color choice, to match with the flowers. Daisies and hydrangeas. Innocence and beauty.
It was ironic, a bit. You’d helped her with the flowers, and initially she had like sunflowers. As if it had been sntached from you. Maybe it was destiny laughing in your face. Yet she’d gone for the delicate hydrangeas.
“Thanks, Emma’s idea,” you grinned. “Where are you—“
“Oh eh, with the other boys,” he said as you pressed the button. He was shaking.
“So, what’s got you all flustered?” You questioned.
You could see Clark sweating. “Hm?”
“What’s got you all flustered?” You questioned, again.
He didn’t give you an answer. “Clark?”
Clark bit his lip. It was never usual for Clark to be anxious or to hide thoughts for himself. The man was always certain of his thoughts and actions. There was probably a calamity waiting for you.
“I—I am only the messenger,” he said, “I was actually looking for—Tim but—“
There it was. “But?”
“I think you might be of more help,” Clark admitted.
“Clark?” Your brows furrowed as the elevator door opened. He only offered a nervous smile as he licked his lips.
You saw Tom at the end of the hallway, on a call, shirt buttoned half way, his other hand running through his hair, he looked troubled. You were hoping his eyes would meet yours. Ever since the wedding was approaching he had been inattentive. Maybe the wedding hurt as much. It had been so hard for him to switch from lovers to friends. Did he ever stop and wonder if you guys could’ve had one? Did Tom also hindered with painful thoughts of how everything had so carelessly ended?
Lately it was all you had in your mind, how you felt ready. Or maybe it was the pressure that the wedding was giving you. And just as you started getting closer, Tom had backed away without a warning.
James was just getting out of the room, mid hallway. Your brother seemed to be as stressed. The tie around his neck barely covering it, his hair was scrunched. James’ eyes crossed with yours and then went straight to his husband’s.
“You brought y/n?” James pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ah, fuck it,” he looked at his watch. “Yes, you might be more helpful,” James said as he gestured with his hand to come over.
There was clearly something going on. You eyed Tom, who still was not aware you were there.
“I—Sam, no, no, I’ll—I can’t stay here, fuck I have his phone here—“You heard him say before James had dragged you into the room.
You approached your brother. “What is going on?”
“We—couldn’t find Harry’s tie,” James explained.
A tie? This was all of it? This whole catastrophe was for a tie?
“Can't any of you give him yours?” You frowned. It was no surprise that they hadn’t come up with a solution to such a simple problem, you could not expect less from men.
James rolled his eyes. “So he went to search for it about an hour ago but he fucking left his phone here and—“
Then you understood what was going on. “Where’s Harry?” You closed your eyes.
James gulped. “That’s—the thing.”
“Where is Harry?” You questioned, again.
Clark cleared his throat. “We don’t—know.”
Oh, so you were fucked. “Whose stupid idea was—?”
“Well, Dad told me he left home about 40 minutes ago and he didn’t see him at home, Sam hasn’t found him—Their fucking twin telepathy thing is broken, I guess—“Tom had walked in staring at his phone, loudly explaining his previous conversation. “Oh—hi, y/n.”
“Hi.” It was rutinary, for both of you. To just—stop when the other walked into a room. You blushed. Only noticing until then how handsome he looked. Seemed you hadn’t realized how badly you wanted him. In the most innocent way, in the way that you only wanted to offer him your heart. In the way that you only wanted the sole confirmation that he still loved you. In the way you wanted to be the reason for his smile.
You wanted to ask him, if it was okay he was still on your mind. Was it wrong? Would he be chill with him visiting your dreams?
Because that had been the hardest part of it all. At some point you had both decided you needed to move on… Because both of you at the beginning were trying to get back together and after a long conversation that almost led to one kiss, you both decided it wasn’t appropriate. So pretending you didn’t love each other was the way you’d keep him, for whatever it was worth.
Tom had said it once, hadn’t he? How everytime you both stated your feelings… it hurt. So now that you weren’t stating them, you were supposed to not hurt. Why did it, then?
“You look—stunning,” he eyed you up and down, and licked his lips, “I—I’m sorry I didn’t-uh-call this morning-I was—“
“You look pretty, too,” you interrupted. Knowing that the missed call would be a subject for James’ interest. The short story was—you had probably had a few more drinks than you should’ve with him at the hotel bar with Clark and James and Tom had walked you to your room, only walking, not even a kiss on the cheek as much as you had wanted it, but he had promised to call in the morning after you had claimed he had been ignoring you. He hadn’t called.
And was aware of it, which meant he hadn’t forgotten. It meant he had avoided you, again.
It had seemed that from one morning to another Tom had decided that the word friends meant strangers.
Maybe he wouldn’t pay a visit to your dreams.
He reached for your hair, “I like the flowers—”
“Can you both leave your ‘in love but not together’ bullshit for later?” James snapped you both out of the trance. “The wedding is in two hours and the fucking groom is no where in sight.”
Both Tom and you turned to him, travelling back to reality. “Well it’s not my fault! Who—sent him? Why didn’t you guys offer to go for the stupid tie?” You snapped back at your brother.
Tom looked away.
Of course. You watched him. “Tom? How do you plead?”
“Guilty,” he admitted.
You took a deep breath. This was definitely not the scenario you wanted to find yourself in. Had… Harry escaped? It was… not likely to escape but then again, you’d learned not to expect anything.
It was reason enough to worry.
“I wouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Tom said.
James sighed. “He took my car and—“
“You gave him your car to escape—!” You snapped. “Your car always stops working!”
“No,to go for his tie, not to escape,” Tom snapped his fingers with a smile defending your brother. “We-”
“Thomas oh my god, I am not even- All of you, you all thought it was a good idea?” You were furious now. Whose stupid idea was it to-Of course it had been Tom’s. You were going to jump to conclusions. “To send the groom when any of you could have gone-?”
You didn’t want to jump to conclusions.
You really didn’t, however it was ineluctable. Not because Harry didn’t love Emma, but because Harry was… scared. You didn’t blame him. True love comes barely once in a thousand lifetimes and when we finally get to it, it might be too much for us to handle. However after your conversations with Harry this cataclystic outcome had not been foreseen.
“My dad is around the hotel trying to find him,” Tom quickly answered.
You took a deep breath. You perfectly knew Harry.
Harry and you were close as you had once been, in a way, Harry and you were well apprised of the other. Harry was reasonable enough not to leave his wedding.
“He offered to go,” James explained.
Harry wouldn’t have offered that unless he needed to go away. And you only needed one confirmation, there was no way Harry would’ve forgotten his tie. Harry would’ve never forgotten it, unless it had been self sabotaged.
You were conveyed to the drawers, opened each one carefully, fearing you’d find it, and your gut had been right. there it was. The tie in all of its splendor. “And you let him go?” You asked, taking the tie and swinging it to them. “To search for this tie?”
“Yes,” James closed his eyes. “Fuck. We should’ve known.”
Your eyes crossed with Tom’s and then you then realized it, Tom seemed calm. Tom wasn’t freaking out. Not externally. You weren’t sure if he really wasn’t or if it was the usual wall you both build around the other. Incomprehensible it seemed now. Always keeping it cool, So many things you’ve lived and you had let them go oh so easily?
But you were flawed. You had been. But not now, what was stopping you both? Wasn’t he still the one holding your broken heart in the palm of his hand? Had he not borrowed it?
You were still trying to hold his.
But your mind shouldn’t be worried about your relationship with Tom when the groom was nowhere to be found. When he had lied that he lost his tie and it was right in that drawer.
Yet, you somehow knew there was something… Something there.
“He was supposed to go home then?” You questioned Tom.
Tom was getting anxious by the second. “Yes, so we can go look for him.”
“The two of you?” James interrupted.
“Yes the two of us, we could split and look for him but...” Tom said. “Someone has to stay here.”
James was slightly annoyed, you could tell. But James was often annoyed at you and Tom. James had been the most disappointed about the resulting relationship. Honestly, everybody was disappointed. Had you been cowards for giving up?
So much drama and for what?
“Of course you’d think splitting up is a good idea,” James snapped with poison. James was annoyed because he always pointed it out to you, how much you’d fought to have him and how easily you’d walked out.
Walking out had not been easy. Walking out had to be the most painful decision you’ve ever made. And you remembered that night you had, the city was asleep, the night was quiet, and you were the only one standing on that street, under that streetlight. Alone. He hadn’t gone to you. You’d looked back to his window, expecting him to be there, and then the door had remained closed.
You cleared your throat. “I might know where Harry is,” you lied. You were at a loss of your mind at the moment. Maybe it was shock. Not maybe, it certainly was shock. The sole thought of Harry not appearing at his own wedding had not ever crossed your mind. You’d thought Emma would’ve. Would’ve been in character, but how stupid do you have to be to run from your wedding on your wedding day?
Tom directed a glance. “I think I might know where he is, too.”
Did he? Or was he only trying to prove a point?
Though the friendship was afloat, some habits could never wear out. Especially when it came to challenging the other. After the breakup it had become a sort of competition of who was dealing better with it.
Neither of you were coping well, but you wouldn’t admit it.
How disappointing, isn’t it? A whole story to end just in a few words. A whole journey to be plucked off your hands. So quickly, so easily.
How ironic it seemed that after such a long time, it was this breaking up bullshit.
James watched between the both of you. “Do you really?”
“Yes,” Tom and you answered and panicked at the other’s statement.
“Well, I’ll race you there,” you challenged.
Tom squinted, “I don’t have my car, dad gave me a ride.”
“Well, then, you should start running so I don’t beat you there,” you grinned and then walked off the room, decidingly. Only thing left was knowing where exactly Harry had run to.
“This isn’t a fucking game, y/n!” James reminded you. “We need to find Harry.”
“I know, Jamesy!”
Tom had rushed after you, “You have no idea where he is, do you?” He mumbled.
“Not a clue,” you admitted. “You?”
He laughed, “Not a fucking clue, either.”
You both got into the elevator. He dug his hands into his pockets.
“Do you think he escaped?” Tom questioned.
“It’s possible,” you admitted. You sighed, as you pressed the button to the upper floor.
“What are you doing?” Tom asked.
“I need my keys,” You said.
Tom’s eyes widened. “And are you telling Emma?” He was panicking.
“Of course!” You gave him the widest beam. “She’ll be delighted!”
“What?”
You jokingly slapped his head. “Of course not, idiot! How the fuck am I supposed to tell her? What would I even tell her? Hey! We can’t find Harry! He might have run off! No!”
“Right. Then what’s the alibi?” Tom asked. “Just showing up and leaving?”
You sighed, “You, you will be my alibi.”
Tom blinked but followed after you when the elevator door finally left you at your floor, you rushed to the room, but stopped in front of it, buttoning Tom up. He watched you with confusion.
“I thought I was your alibi,” he smirked.
You rolled your eyes, “Not that kind of alibi, dipshit.“
Helaughed, rolling his eyes and avoiding your gaze. “Yeah, it’s been a while since that could be the alibi.”
You decided to ignore the statement, “Now, when I walk in, if you hear Emma question me—just call me and try rushing me.”
“Alright, but I think we need a solid alibi, y/n,” Tom pushed.
You rolled your eyes, “I’ll take care of that,” you confirmed and opened the door where you were welcomed by Timmy, who was about to go out.
“Oh, hey,” Tim greeted and then eyed Tom. “Thomas.”
“Timothée,” Tom nodded his head.
Even when they both presumed to be friends, you knew that Tim and Tom would always have some sort of… disagreement.
“Uh, I was about to… go see Lily,” Tim explained, turning back to you. “Mind staying with Emma-? Her mother is on one last minute arrangements, it might rain so they’re trying to figure out what to do-So if you could—“
“Actually,” you cleared your throat. “An emergency came up, so I need you to stay here, maybe tell Lily to come here?”
Tim frowned. “What emergency?”
“We’re taking care of it,” Tom explained as you rushed in looking for your purse. “We’ll be quick,” he added. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Y/N, babe, you’re back!” Emma commented.
You squinted your eyes closed, “And I’m leaving—sorry, I need to uh—It will be quick I promise there’s an issue with—there’s an emergency—“
Emma was nervous, “y/n? Everything okay? Did something happen to the flowers?”
You couldn’t lie to her, but you could omit the truth. “No, everything okay with the flowers—I promise I’ll be here quickly, I’m just going to—“
“Y/N, darling?” You heard Tom outside. “We need to go, now.”
Emma heard and then she was no longer going to question you. Not right now, at least. “Ah,” Emma said, knowingly as she rolled her eyes. “I see, Tom— an emergency with Tom.”
“I promise it’s not like that,” you assured her. “But everything is okay and— I’ll be here in time.”
“I am freaking out, do you see the sky? It’s grey! Fucking grey! I need to stop the rain!” Emma yelled. “What if it’s a bloody sign? Fuck, I need to talk to Harry, I need him-”
You freaked out by then. “No, Emma, calm down, it’ll be okay, we will figure something out!”
“Y/N! Please!” Tom called in again.
Emma watched you, “I swear to god, y/n, if your emergency is fucking that man I will murder you.” “Trust me, it’s not.”
Emma glared, “Y/N, I’ll only say it one more time. If you’re leaving my wedding to have sex with that hunk, I will kill you.”
You shook your head. “I’m… Trying to figure out what to do with the rain, okay? Leave this ro me! I’ll see you in a bit, Emma!” You ran back out.
You saw Tom’s mother walking down the hallway, she offered you a concerned look.
Tom seemed calm enough for Tim, however, who was watching him with curiosity. You were thankful that they avoided conversing with each other, especially because Tom would probably screw up the alibi. One that you didn’t have. But probably Tim had bought it, even if he had yet to hear what the alibi was. However, you knew that Tom’s presence was a solid alibi for rather than anything else.
Tom had been an alibi for your nerves. You knew that Tim wouldn’t question why you were nervous because he knew you were always nervous when Tom was around. You certainly looked flustered and having Tom there would definitely explain why you were jittery.
Tim raised his brows at you, and you only took Tom’s hand in an attempt to drag him back to the elevator. Tim was explicitly confused.
“Ah, Nikki! I’m so glad you’re here, Emma is finishing up, would you mind helping her?” Your voice was coming out slightly coarse.
The woman gulped, “are Tom and you taking care of the...rain issue?” She questioned.
“Yes, ma’,” Tom quickly nodded, “we will… find the rain.”
Some things never change, Tom was still an idiot. And for being an actor how terrible was he at lying.
“Find?” Tim questioned.
“Nothing to worry about, Tim darling,” Nikki stepped into the room, trying to push Timothee back inside, “they are taking care of it and they should go look at it, right now, chop chop!”
“See you in a bit, Tim!” You said as you ran to the elevator as Nikki closed the door, you finally were able to let go of Tom’s hand.
He cleared his throat as he pressed the button, “So what was the alibi?” Tom second glanced at you. “Why would we take care of the rain?”
“Because it got lost,” you shrugged. “Why else would we find it.”
He closed his eyes as you both walked into the elevator. “I’m an idiot.”
“Biggest one.”
He chuckled, “I—uh, heard Emma’s comment. About her thinking we were going to-”
You blushed, “Yeah.”
Big distance between both of you. Never ever close enough to accidentally brush against each other or hands coincidentally touching.
How different it was from the elevator in New York.
Tom cleared his throat. “Good to know where she stands in that subject.”
You shrugged, “I would also get mad if my best friend ditched me at my wedding to have sex with an idiot.”
He smirked rolling his eyes. “I believe the term she used was hunk.”
You ignored the comment.
“Why didn’t Timothee question us?” Tom asked.
You shrugged, “Haven’t you noticed that no one questions us?”
Tom furrowed his brows. “How so?”
“Whenever we are together, they never ask anything, they just let us be,” you admitted. Because everyone was waiting for you both to get back together or everyone expected something more from you. You never gave it to them.
He tilted his head slightly, agreeing with you. “I guess they think they’re going to make things awkward.”
No. People let you be because they wanted you to solve it.
“As if they could be,” you chuckled. “I think that’s the best part of us right now, people just don’t… meddle.”
Tom smiled, “I guess.”
You cleared your throat, “Now, where the fuck do you reckon Harry is?” You asked as you reached the lobby, turning back to what actually mattered.
“Honestly, I have no idea, nothing can come to my mind, it’s just… Not likely from Harry to run away,” Tom said. “Like—Me? Definitely. I would’ve—“
“Yes, you’d definitely run,” you nodded as you jingled the keys. Tom asked for the car at the valet.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Tom questioned.
“You’d definitely escape from your own wedding,” you chuckled. “You’re so afraid of commitment. It’s the Gemini in you.”
He opened his mouth with pride, “excuse me? Me the one afraid of commitment? May I remind you of your past, my lady?”
You avoided his gaze. “You may not.”
“Said no to a proposal, poor Timothee,” Tom started with a smirk.
“Okay that’s—“You cleared your throat, chuckling slightly. “You shouldn’t—“
“Then—Then,you faked a relationship.”
You eyed him, “are we really going to touch that subject, again?”
“You were scared of commitment enough to fake one,” he joked.
You could joke about it now. Or he could. You’d never joke about it.
“Or I knew you wouldn’t commit so I had to fake I didn’t want it,” you smugly answered.
He faked annoyance. “Well, you ran to another country, yes, just after confessing your lovely feelings through a letter—“
“That’s…different.”
“Then you didn’t give me an answer—you didn’t know if you wanted to date me,” he recalled.
You scoffed, “Thomas, may I remind you why I didn’t want to date you?”
“Then you called it quits after seeing your brother getting married and you were scared we were heading there too,” Tom said.
You gulped, “Ah, yes that last one wasn’t me—“ you reminded him. “Not entirely.”
Tom licked his lips. “Maybe we are both afraid of commitment.”
“No,” you nudged him. “I wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t either.”
There was a sudden silence. You’d barely talked about it before. As if the relationship had suddenly disappeared.
You hadn’t talked about the breakup once in months.
“I would say we are at a crossroads but,” he shrugged. “I do not believe that commitment was the reason for—“
“Nope,” you gave in. “It was not.”
Because it wasn’t, maybe it was the fact you were both too committed to a relationship without form.
“However—you did—“Tom cleared his throat. “I mean—we were headed in some sort of direction.”
“Thomas, I don’t think now is the time to have the conversation we haven’t had.”
“So we should keep pushing it, then? Pretending we are both fine with this agreement? Lately we don’t seem fine with it.”
You knew he was right. Neither of you were entirely happy with this whole new friendship thing. “I—maybe we can talk about it when we find Harry!”
Tom pursed his lips, “so you do want to talk about it?”
You took a deep breath, “Thomas, we can push aside that conversation but we cannot push aside the fact your brother is nowhere to be found on his wedding day.”
“Fine.”
“Besides I think if we’ve pushed it long enough—“
He laughed. “We are—particularly calm about that subject.”
“I don’t think we are,” you admitted. “We just like to pretend when we are calm around each other.”
Tom clicked his tongue, “Maybe. But I’m—We haven’t talked about that in a while.”
“And it’s not the moment right now, it’s your brother’s wedding, and he is nowhere to be found,” you repeated.
Tom’s smile faded and was overstrung again. The car was there.
You let him drive, he usually drove your car. Another habit that hadn’t worn out.
Now things weren’t calm, as if the sudden rush had become the both of you. You finally got it, the anxiety that should’ve come from hearing it. The anger and despair that you were supposed to feel from Harry running away.
He looked down, “what’s that?” He pointed at the cup on the cup holder.
“Coffee, from yesterday,” you explained. “Didn’t finish it.”
“You think I could die from that?” He asked.
You looked at him. “I—don’t know but—You're not thinking of—“
“Drinking it?” Tom smirked. “Yeah, I’m just—-thirsty.”
“Please don’t.”
He took the cup, “I won’t die.”
“I guess not but it’s been sitting here one day!” You tried taking it off. He gripped it and shook his head.
“I won’t die!” He said before taking a sip and scrunching his nose. “This is fucking disgusting.”
“Why are you bloody drinking it?” You laughed.
He laughed, “I—I don’t know, but no it’s not that bad.”
“Thomas what the fuck,” you couldn’t stop laughing. “If you die then I’ll have to take care of your dead body and finding Harry, and my priority is finding Harry so I’d have to pull a Weekend at Bernie’s”
Tom giggled and stuck his tongue out, acting so terribly as if he was actually dying.
“You know,” you watched him with fake repulsion. “You deserve an Oscar for that one performance.”
“Right?” He grinned. “I’ll thank you when I receive it.”
You chuckled, “I think we should focus on Harry instead, yes?”
You both discussed places where he would go, that park? Unlikely. That Pub? He wasn’t there. Home?
Where in the world would he go?
“What if he—?” You were getting tired. “What if he didn’t run away?”
Tom looked over, he was rubbing his face, angry you hadn’t found him at the third pub. “That’s the thing, I don’t think he did.”
“It makes no sense, does it?” You questioned.
“No, he—he loves her,” Tom licked his lips. “It’s cause—“ he clutched to the wheel. “I don’t think Harry would—“
“No, I don’t think so—I just—“
It started to rain, because of course it bloody had to. Seemed that the ambiance always had the urge to level up to the level of drama you were always living.
“Jesus Christ, can we ever get into a dramatic moment without it raining?” Tom questioned, angrily.
You rolled your eyes, suppressing a laugh. “I—It was on the news forecast, I am sorry to inform you, but we’ve got nothing to do with the weather.”
Tom laughed, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Alright, if he’s not at home then he’s—“You laughed, “Where the fuck is Harry?” You yelled, defeated.
Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. “I—hate Harry.”
You agreed. “Wait—wait, where’s your dad driving around?”
“Dunno, but he would’ve called,” Tom admitted. “Bloody hell, I hate Harry—I—can’t believe he did this.” You stayed quiet. If he had. What had led him to it? The day before he had been alright. Of course, he seemed nervous but he was excited, dreamy. In love.
“What do you know?” He questioned.
You frowned, getting your gaze back to him. “What?”
“You have your—thinking face on,” Tom pointed out. “See? Brow furrowed and hand on hair and everything,” he said. “You feel...guilty?”
“What?” You chuckled nervously. “No!”
“I know you guys spoke yesterday,” he recalled.
“Well yes, I wished him luck, but nothing—He gave me no clue of that, no clues of running away!” you admitted. “He was scared but he—I mean I thought it was usual wedding jitters but—he didn’t—I just—Calmed him. I mean he talked to you before, you probably were the one to scare him!”
“I—what?” Tom was taken aback. “I—I didn’t—“
“He talked to you before me!”
“yes, we talked but I gave him brotherly—marriage advice.”
You scoffed. “You? You gave him marriage advice?”
Tom chuckled nervously, “I—no, but—love advice.”
“We are the last people on earth that should give advice on that,” you stated.
He sighed, “I know but—“
“What did you say to him? Maybe you scared him and that’s why he ran away!” You stated, poking him.
He frowned, “Did not!”
“What did you even say to him?” You pushed. “I just know.”
He rolled his eyes, and mocked, “you just know?”
You playfully slapped his arm. “Yes, idiot! I know, you give the worst advice on love, you’re so dramatic.”
“I am dramatic?” He laughed.
“Yes,” you interrupted before he could even defend himself, “and—and, and I am too. We are—Oh god, are we to blame for Harry running away?”
Tom seemed to realize it at the same time. “I mean—Considering what we both could’ve said—“
Neither of you couldn’t help but laugh, maybe with guilt.
“I’m scared,” Tom admitted. He sighed, holding one last laughter.“We’re fucked.”
You both stayed calmly, as the rain halted against the car.
“What did you talk about with him?” He questioned.
Of course the question held more than that. You knew what he was asking about actually.
Seemed that both of you knew you had basically laid it on Harry the day before. Or maybe not. But where else would Tom ever get his advice from?
You had told him not to give up, you’d told Harry that he had found it, whatever love is, he’d found it.
“How I was proud of him, how I wanted what he was getting,” you shrugged.
You had also joked about how you and him wouldn’t have worked out. But you’d also said you were sorry it hadn’t worked out with Tom either. How you knew that him and Emma were not headed there, that he had nothing to worry about.
How you regretted the script. Spilling out your heartbreak for the world to see. Spilling your love story that was barely one and how people had a lot to say about it.
How it was painful to hide your love. How you knew Tom hadn’t moved on either but probably was planning to.
You told Harry to keep his feelings for Emma, and only Emma. That he didn’t have to share it. You had told Harry to treasure every morning, and to find a flower to talk for him.
“You?”
“I apologized for ruining his engagement party,” Tom nodded, “the first one.”
You both gulped.
“But how I—“ Tom shifted in his seat. “How I thought that they had found the silver linings for it all. That after being apart they’d just come back stronger. And how—I was happy for him. How they overcame all obstacles. And how they were just meant to be.”
“Soulmates they are,” you said. “Which is why it makes no sense he is not there.”
“We need to find him,” he stated.
You nodded. “We are very calm, though, considering-”
“Yeah,” he gave in. “I—What about the park?”
“Oh? The park? Not a park, the park, of course, how didn’t I think of that,” you teased. “Oh yes, the park. As if there aren’t hundreds of parks. Yes the park.”
He snorted a laugh, “shut up! You know where I meant!”
“Well, drive, you pillock!” You chuckled. “Drive to—the park!”
He rolled his eyes and was about to start the car, yet again.
“Wait,” there was a part of you that thought you knew where he might be. But—to explain where it was would be difficult. “Let me drive.”
To try and find Harry. Which was technically the quest.
You had less time now. You were tired. But there was something that was making you believe you could find him. You hoped you were right.
Being behind the wheel with Tom as your copilot was weird. You always let him drive because you usually were in charge of the music.
“Well, given that I’m here, I’ll be for the first time in charge of the music in your car,”he said. He seemed to have the same thing in mind.
Which was completely stupid since you were looking for a lost groom, but well, Tom and you didn’t have much in common but you could always brag about the same stupidity and brain cell you shared.
He took the aux cord as you were driving, driving to that location that wasn’t far enough. A place you knew that gave Harry peace. The park.
But of course your own peace was disturbed as ‘I think we're alone now’ played.
You hadn’t listened to that song in a long while, since you’d danced to it on his living room, most of the lights out, your screen light and his own eyes being the only light you needed. When the things were good.
You had, purposefully, erased most songs that ever reminded you of him.
“You seriously have that song?” You snorted as the memories flooded back in.
Tom avoided your glance and shrugged, “What? It’s on my playlist.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I notice that. That’s how music works.”
There was silence. Probably driven by the growing fear of not finding Harry, probably coming from the fear that Harry had actually escaped. And what would that mean?
Had Tom and you really scared him?
But you both drowned the fear while humming the song.
Or maybe the silence came from the very memories of the song.
“It’s on this specific playlist honestly,” Tom said after a few songs.
You blinked, confused. “What?”
“It’s—the song,” he cleared up. “haven’t you noticed the songs playing are only songs you like? Or songs—”
Songs with background. You shrugged, “Well, we have similar taste.”
He laughed, “No, y/n, we truly don’t.”
You glanced at him, as he was looking out the window. “Huh, alright—maybe that is the reason we broke up.”
Tom clenched his jaw. “Don’t be an idiot.”
You rolled your eyes. “Never mind, that is.”
“No,” he squeezed his eyes shut. “what Imean—this is my—you playlist.”
You didn’t answer. Not right away.
“You’re not going to say anything?” Tom asked.
“What does that even mean?” You questioned.
He licked his lips. “I—well.”
“So you ignore me but you have a playlist—a me playlist?” You questioned.
Tom licked his lips, “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, it’s—been hard.”
It had been, for you, too. “It’s harder if we are apart,” you pointed out.
He gulped, “That is my point,” he coughed. “We are friends,” he said. “And lately, before I started ignoring you—We were—“
You had been acting a bit more than what friends are supposed to act like. And a wedding always brings romance in everything so it was hard.
You cleared your throat, “It makes it weirder if we both walk away from the other.”
Tom bit his lip, “is it, really?” He watched you carefully. “Because, y/n, I—I’ve been… jealous, how they solved it. And how we couldn’t, after we both tried it was so hard, how we kept falling back.”
You had been slightly jealous, too.
“And, really, I—look, I love my brother and Emma, it’s not them ,” he continued, he rolled his eyes. “For all I know, we are both bitter because before James’ wedding happened we were both talking about… marriage and all,” Tom continued. “And they basically stole what could have been our wedding.”
So you were going to have that conversation. A conversation you had avoided even before the breakup. How both of you were… in talks. How you were expecting it. How you’d jitter if he ever got on his knee to tie his shoe, how every time you’d be waiting for it.
“We didn’t even get engaged,” you pointed out, in an attempt to be cynical, probably.
He coughed, “We talked about it. Good thing—We didn’t get that far because, well.”
“I think we both thought marrying would salvage us from falling,” you stated. “Or we thought it was the next step.”
He shrugged, “Yeah, I think we did,” he admitted. “But I—Back then I really thought, I dunno. I was really about to ask.”
You took a deep breath, “I would’ve said yes,” you said easily, though it hurt to even think about it. Though, you had been prepared to say yes.
“It wouldn’t have been right,” he pointed out. “We would’ve broken up before even getting to plan it.”
He was right. So, so right, because where you were heading wasn’t a wedding, you were heading to an even more hurtful breakup.
The decision had been made acknowledging this. Knowing it would hurt less then. Avoiding a terrible breakup.
“We were on a thin line,” you agreed. “Anything would’ve broken us.”
“I knew we were going through a rough patch but—I think we never realized how rough it was.”
You sighed, “Maybe I fucked up when we came back here, when I decided not to move in.”
Tom took a deep breath, “No, it wasn’t that.”
What was it? What had it been?
“I don’t know where we went wrong,” you admitted. “I really don’t.”
He shook his head, confirming he didn’t either. When asked, neither of you had a reason. It just—happened. Things had been just so rough and hard. Nothing to hold on to.
Though it didn’t make sense, you loved him. And he loved you.
“I think we both expected things to get better by themselves.” Tom played with his fingers and watched the window, staring at the raindrops slipping through it. Sliding easily, without no one stopping them.
“And we grew tired of fighting,” you added, as you stopped at a red light.
“Can't even remember what we were fighting about,” he confessed.
You took a heavy breath in, as the music still played in the background. “About nothing, and about everything. We fought over serious stuff, like whether we wanted to be public or not. A little about Tim and Cherry. And over stupid stuff mostly, yeah mostly over stupid stuff. Like when we were supposed to wake up for certain events or what tie you’d wear for James’ wedding, we fought over you staying at my place too much. We also fought about FaceTime hours, and whether we had to ask if we were available for it or not.”
Tom dedicated his glance back to you, sad, upset and full of regret. “I remember the cereal one.”
You raised your brows, “Yeah, that one was a smashing doors one.”
“Over stupid cereal,” he sighed as he brushed his face. “We were so—“
“Toxic?” You finished his sentence.
He chuckled, “yeah, mostly at the end.”
“The beginning too, I mean,” you shook your head. “I—We had sex to just solve everything. Thomas, we had hatred sex.”
He chuckled. “Well.”
You shrugged, “And that’s how we solved the fights initially.”
“It wasn’t enough at the end,” he added.
“It never was, and that’s—Thats why, although we both said we would talk we just—I think that’s why it didn’t work, at the end we just—grew tired of each other, the spark was gone.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Maybe it was the script,” you pointed out. “Everything concerning it.”
Learning he had a lot to do with the fact it was made had made you doubt yourself, the one true accomplishment had come because he had come to the rescue. Although it had been nice it had really started the downfall of your trust.
“No,” he shrugged.
He didn’t want to talk about it. You had had enough talks about the script, over the fact you wrote it and then regretted it. Over filming and the input he had in the movie, how the character had more in depth than before.
Over the fact he had come to your rescue because it hadn’t been good enough. That one specially had been the start of your downfall. Seemed that when you learned about it, you had completely gone mental. Though, it had come from his heart, he didn’t understand why you were angry.
You had always asked him not to ever give a hand with your writing, if you wanted to succeed it would be for your own accomplishments.
Then again, there was also this side that loved he had helped.
Truth is, it hadn’t affected your relationship, but it had affected your own self trust. And if you can’t trust yourself, however will you trust someone else?
Enough talks had been had.
“No,” Tom started. “We were guilty. Both of us, as if we were making it up for past mistakes. I never stopped thinking about what Tim said, and I think that’s why I always tried making it up for all the other times I hurt you. And then you tried making it up for the script, or—Whatever, it was a relationship built up on guilt.”
“Yeah, I think,” you whispered almost not wanting to be heard, “we both had things to learn about ourselves, and forgive ourselves first… and the timing was wrong.”
Tom shrugged, “Isn't it always wrong with us?”
Time was your true enemy. Or maybe it was easier to blame time rather than yourselves. Time was nothing.
It had been you and your pride or your fear, or whatever you came up with now.
However, there was some truth in that statement. Maybe in the past few months it had been time.
When you had told James and Harry you might want to get back together, Tom was dating.
When you were dating, Harry had told you he was thinking about it.
But what about now? Neither of you were dating, you were single and every odd could push you both to be together. Yet…You were not.
How disappointing, you would always think. Such a long story to end up like this.
How disappointing, really.
“No,” he stated, once again. “It’s not time. The problem might be we are the most stupid people to walk on earth.”
“Sounds reasonable,” you said. You nudged him, “look at us now, though, able to talk.”
“I like where we are, yeah,” Tom commented. “I think we are in a good place, we trust each other, we are friends, good friends, we take care, we hang out. We talk. And actually talk.”
You were focusing on the road, mainly, but your heart wanted to say more things. “Yeah.”
“There’s something bothering you,” Tom stared, intrigued.
“I don’t like you avoiding me,” you stated. “I really can’t stand it.”
“I won’t avoid you, then.”
Then, it was quiet. And it didn’t matter, you enjoyed moments of silence, and it wasn’t awkward. Both of you had learned that sometimes you just don’t have to say a word.
But you had to, in fear he would feel you were angry at the previous conversation.“It’s not even all songs I like,” you pointed out.
“Hm?”
“The playlist,” you decided you didn’t want to continue that past conversation.
He coughed, “So we are changing the conversation, huh? Well, they are songs that remind me of you but hey!” He nudged you. “Which ones don’t you like?”
So easily changing subjects and getting out a smile.
“I—we can get back to that later,” you turned to him and let out a soft chuckle. “songs that remind you of me?” You smirked, poking his shoulder.
He blushed, rolling his eyes. “Yes,” he admitted defeatedly.
You laughed, “You’re such a nerd.”
“What the fuck! It’s supposed to be sweet!” He complained.
You shrugged. “Or creepy.”
“No, it’s not—“
“I’m kidding I’m—more flattered than spooked—“ you admitted. “So why are you playing it?” You poked his cheek this time and he pushed your hand away.
“Because I’ve noticed you always complain about the music so when I play this you don’t!” He explained, annoyed.
“Oh, so it’s merely to keep me quiet,” you snickered, nodding.
Tom was moving his jaw, “Yes, basically.”
You glanced again, mischievously. “Wasn’t it supposed to be sweet?”
“No.”
You reached for his hair. “Tommy.”
“Don’t Tommy me,” he chuckled. “You called me creepy.”
“Yes, I don’t know how to flirt so I bully you, I thought we had that covered,” you snapped without giving it a second thought. Then completely regretting it.
His smirk was wide now, as he laughed maniacally. “Oh so you’re flirting.”
Your turn to blush had come. “No.”
He grinned. “You are.”
But then it was a miracle, a way to avoid this subject completely because it was not the conversation to be having with the current situation. “Shut up.”
“No, you are trying to flirt with me, I won’t shut up!” He mocked you.
��Shut up!”
“No!”
“Thomas! I think that’s Harry!”
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mortifyingideal · 3 years ago
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i was tagged in this by the wonderful @fremulon (thanks cherry!) and accidentally deleted the whole thing twice so now i'm mostly just posting it out of spite and without a read more due to said spite. SUCK IT TUMBLR.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 10 published out loud and 1 published anonymously
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
226419
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
okay so this is really only my most recent life. i have been around a lot. a lot. i was there, gandalf, during the superwholock years (and an active participant) so over the course of my life it's like
Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Inception, Daredevil, The Avengers, The Musketeers, Wells & Wong Mysteries, Twin Peaks, Homestuck, Red vs Blue
but in this lifetime i'm just writing for Good Omens (and have written for DuckTales and Cruella)
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1 — Loosely Ballroom (surprising absolutely nobody)
2 — Look Not Too Deep
3 — ergo propter hoc (okay this one is kind of a surprise actually but i'm very happy about it i love this fic)
4 — café au vin
5 — an institute you can't disparage
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i do! i try to respond to every comment i get on the day of/the day after i get it. i've met a lot of good friends this way, and i also just like taking the time to respond to people who've taken the time to respond to something i made. makes me feel good (plus i want everyone to like me)
the only downside is it can get a bit overwhelming at times? particularly with LB, which gets a shitload of comments per chapter and can take me up to two full days to read through them all and answer, and if i'm having a bad brain time i just cannot face doing it. so if you've ever left a comment and i've not responded, i promise It's not because i don't appreciate it. my brain machine just was going brmmmmmmmmm.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i was going to say NONE BECAUSE I DON'T WRITE ANGST but i guess if i had to decide it would be the RVB fic that's on my ao3 right now, which has an angstily hopeful ending.
7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
hahahaha
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CRAZY LIKE A FOX
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not as far as i'm aware! i have had several uhhhhhhh overly familiar meant-to-be-jovial comments on/about the above crossover from people i don't really know very well that have told me i'm a terrible person or i've committed crimes while i'm out here like, cool this is art i made and put in the world for fun and believe in and i don't really... know you? but those comments were meant in good faith imo so i don't really think it counts as hate
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
the last time i tried to write smut, crowley got stabbed, so the kind that sends people to the hospital i guess?
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge. good luck formatting all the images and italics, anyone who might try.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
again, not to my knowledge!
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
infamously. it's the only reason anyone might have read this far. also attempting to collaborate on an as-of-yet-unfinished-project with @indieninja92 who is a creative genius with their finger in many, many pies. speaking of, have you visited hauntedswords.com recently?
13. What’s your all time favorite ship?
errrrrr i mean probably aziraphale/crowley, not to seem obvious. they've been with me since i was like 10 years old, they haven't gone anywhere, they will probably be bothering me until the day i die.
14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I WILL FINISH ALL OF MY WIPs. okay no that's not true, i have the start of an inception fic that is a GO AU that i honestly think would have been fucking slammin' but the time for that has passed now.
15. What are your writing strengths?
a very definite sense of character voice, attention to detail in terms of enriching the world i'm writing in, dialogue dialogue dialogue, smash cuts (are they even called smash cuts in writing? WHATEVER THEY ARE I CAN DO THEM)
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
you are my collaborator. you send me back part of a chapter and tell me i have a sentence that is a bit too lengthy and doesn't work, and i need to edit it. i send it back to you. the sentence is now an entire paragraph and a half, with three jokes, a metaphor and a new line of dialogue embedded in it, changing the overall tone of the chapter. this is known as The Mort Special.
i also get very in my own head about not really being a good writer, or not being as good as the people (or person specifically i suppose) that i'm working with. i'm working on this! i'm not working on The Mort Special, though, that's always writing gold.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
this is a really weird and specific question, who hurt you OP? errrr i guess much like any quirk of writing, it's fine when used sparingly and with a deft hand.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
fuck me, probably Harry Potter? neopets roleplaying boards were a gateway drug.
19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
this is the part where i pretend i'm going to say something other than Loosely Ballroom. i don't think i'll ever make something else in my life that's made me feel the way making that has. it's been—to delve into reality TV speak (and paraphrase crowley from a future chapter)—a real emotional rollercoaster.
plus it's just fuckin' funny isn't it.
tagging @phoenix-soar, @thyra279, @heycaricari, @stillseekwill and @katnoggin (and anyone else who might want to!)
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Text
White Lies (Pt. 14 of 21)
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Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader
Word count: 2.1 K
Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.
But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.
<- Previous part (13)
Next part (15)->
{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}
{John Wick Masterlist}
×
The Truth Always Finds A Way
“It's absolutely beautiful. I love it.” Laura says as you walk with her back to the living room. You just showed her Liam's bedroom, which is finally ready.
It's your fault it took so long though because there were a lot of things you couldn't decide on. But now it's ready, right on time thankfully, because it's the beginning of week 39, and you and Keanu are on full alert because it can happen anytime.
“Thanks. We have everything in place.” Gesturing at the door, Laura easily spots the bag lying on the floor. “That's the bag with everything I'll need in case we have to run.”
“So Keanu convinced you on a natural labor then.”
“Google convinced me.” Slowly, you drop to the couch, sighing. “Sweetie, you're making mommy so heavy.” You whisper to the baby, putting your feet up on the coffee table.
“You're almost here, little one.” Laura lowers her head near your belly. “Aunt Laura will spoil you so bad your mom will hate me.” She fell into his aunt role, but you don't mind. Since you don't have any siblings, you're happy Liam will have an aunt on Laura. “We'll pair up to prank your parents, right?”
“God help me.” You dramatically moan, eyes rolling.
“Planning on having more kids?” She asks, a hand caressing your belly.
“Yes. We have spoken about it and we'll have at least one more.” Smiling, you play with the tips of your hair. “Maybe Sophie will come, but if it's another boy it'll be Ethan.”
“I like it.” She says. “Oh, I have to ask. What was it yesterday? Lucia came over?”
“Yes, she did.” Not even on the last days of your pregnancy that woman leaves you alone. “It was fine until Keanu kissed me. Then it became a fight again. She just can't accept Keanu and I are fine. I don't remember him, but I fell for him again. I don't get what's the big deal.” When you look up at Laura, she has a weird expression on her face. “What is it?”
“N-nothing. Nothing.” She stutters, clearing her throat. “That's odd.”
“It is...” Furrowing your eyebrows, you're just about to say something when her phone starts ringing. “That's my alarm. I'll have to go.” She gets up, offering you a hand to pull you up. “But I can call later if you want to talk.”
“Sure, thank you.” Hugging her the best you can, you walk her to the front door, locking it after she leaves.
There isn't much going on today, so you head upstairs to your bedroom, smiling to hear the shower on. Tiptoeing into the bathroom, you see Keanu inside the box, so you silently take your clothes off before sliding the glass open.
That's when he notices you, turning around and smiling. “Is Laura gone?”
“Yeah.” Holding onto his arm, you step inside, feeling the warm water on your skin. “Heard the shower and thought I could join you.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kiss him, slow and passionately. In moments like this, the whole world disappears. New York is gone, the busy streets and its people... There's nobody else, no worries, just you and him.
“You know we can't...” He whispers, pulling away from a little.
“I know. I just wanna shower, I promise.” You didn't have any ideas, but now you do. But still, you have to stick with showering only. “Help me, Ke.”
“You're such a teaser.” But despite the dramatic eye roll, Keanu grabs the body wash and starts rubbing it through your body.
Much to your dismay, Keanu has become a master of self-control, and once you're done, you have no choice but to leave, dry, and dress yourself as you wait for him. Back in the bedroom, his phone starts beeping, as many messages come through.
“Ke, your phone is beeping like crazy.” You tell him, raising your voice a little as you finish brushing your hair.
“Can you check if it's Robert?”
“Sure.” Walking around the bed, you sit down as you take his phone, your eyes taking in the notifications.
But it isn't Robert, it's Lucia. Pinching your eyebrows together, you start getting angry. Whatever reasons she's texting Keanu, it's probably not good. Unlocking his phone, you quickly find the messages app, opening it, and reading the texts.
‘You can't possibly think this will go on after the birth.’
‘I will tell her myself.’
‘You're disgusting. Lying to her like that, while she's vulnerable.’
Your heart starts beating so fast it drums in your ears. Her words are a mystery, and you're struggling to bring sense into it.
‘(Y/N) has the right to know about Daniel.’
‘My son. My dead son, her true husband.’
The messages keep coming and you start crying, a hand on your mouth to cover the sobs.
This can't be right. What is she saying? There's a sudden, pounding pain on your head, as your eyes go through the new texts.
‘You can tell yourself whatever you want, but this is all on you.’
‘You're lucky I'm not the type of person to expose celebrities, or else I'm sure your career would be over.’
‘You can't just keep lying to (Y/N) like this, it's not fair to her.’
‘This child isn't yours, it will never be.’
‘You can say this is for her own good, but I don't believe this bullshit.’
Standing up to your feet, you throw the phone away, further into the bed, too far for you to reach. You can't read it anymore. Is she lying?
No. Lucia mentioned Daniel as if he meant something to you. Michael did the same. He didn't seem to understand how you were with Keanu, since you were with Daniel...
Too many things come flooding back. Keanu's first distance, some weird expressions you couldn't read when you made certain questions... But still, you can't bring yourself to believe it. Maybe Lucia just wants to ruin your marriage.
When you hear the bathroom door closing, you turn around, not even trying to hide your tears. Keanu gets worried the moment he looks at you.
“(Y/N)? What happened?”
“Why is Lucia saying Daniel was my true husband?” You burst out, both hands clenched into fists. “That this kid isn't yours, that you're lying to me.” Pointing at the phone, you wipe off some tears. “It was her, not Robert.”
Keanu's face drops, and his whole posture changes. That's how you know it. That's when you realize Lucia is telling the truth.
“No...” You mutter, heart breaking as you bring both hands to cover your face. This can't be real, but his silence, his inability to answer proves your otherwise. “Please, Keanu, say something!” You yell, bending over a little when a sharp pain spreads through your hips. With a hand on the bed, you sustain your weight, standing up straight again.
“I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I–”
“My God.” Cutting him off, you pace around, a lump in your throat. You can only feel, and watch, as your whole world comes crashing down. It feels like you're in a nightmare, under torture, with a knife being put through your heart. “How could you...” It comes out a whisper, so you repeat, yelling this time. “How could you do that?!”
“(Y/N), please listen–” He comes forward, making his way around the bed, but you step back, hands raised.
“I don't wanna listen!” You snap, eager to put some distance between you and him. “I don't wanna listen! We... We slept together!” The memory comes back like a wrecking ball, and you feel violated, betrayed. “I–... I gave myself to you because I thought you were my husband. I–” The wave of pain cuts you short again, and you gasp, using the wall to sustain your weight.
“(Y/N), what are you–”
“Stay away from me!” Shouting, you find the closet door, rushing inside and locking yourself inside.
You're moving even before you notice, grabbing the first baggage you find and searching for your clothes, messily shoving it inside the box. Keanu is saying something, knocking, pleading, but you don't want to hear.
He was everything, and now, you just want him to be nothing.
Your head feels like it could explode as you remember all the moments you shared since you first saw him, in the hospital room. Like an idiot, you felt secure back then to know there was someone to look after you, to guide you in a life you didn't know anything about. When he told you about the pregnancy, you thanked the heavens for having a husband by your side. You were scared, terrified, empty... Just as you are now.
Keanu is nothing to you. The happy, wonderful marriage is just a lie. Your life, the man you love... “Go away!” You shout at him, making a damn mess on his closet, but you don't care. You don't want to love him, not anymore.
With whatever is left of your strength and dignity, you close the baggage and leave, pushing Keanu out of your way, sight blurry with tears. “Siri, call me a cab.” You tell as you walk past Keanu's phone, the change of lighting on the screen showing you it got your command.
“(Y/N), please don't leave.”
“Do you really expect me to stay?” Struggling on the stairs with the baggage and your huge belly, you hold tightly on the railing until you're safe on the floor. “A-after you... Damn it! I don't even know why you did this!” You're yelling again, moving to the front door, hoping the cab will get here soon. “What kind of man are you? What kind of person does this?”
“Let me explain, please. I found you after you crashed the car and–”
“And you decided to take me?! Is that it? You thought I was pretty, and I was in the perfect position for you to take me and play couple?!” A horn makes you sigh, and part of you is relieved that you'll go away from the man, the part that's burning with anger.
But there's another side, probably your heart, that hurts, aches for him. This is what's making you cry, and it yells for you to stay. To listen.
But despite his begging, you leave, pulling the door open and running to the cab.
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Keanu isn't the one to cry often. He does feel sad, but tears are something rare.
But today, they come rolling down, like a flood.
How could it be any different? After everything he has done, how could he expect this to have a different end? This is what he deserves.
Pacing around the house, lost, he finds himself in the kitchen. Looking at the table, he sees her there, in her pale blue sweater, beautiful, smiling, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. He can't even count how many meals they had here, instead of using the dining room, because (Y/N) felt it was more intimate. Averting his eyes, he stares at the fridge, and there she is again, in her pink lace gown pajamas, stretching out on her swollen belly, marking down the weeks.
(Y/N) will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Slamming his hands on the island, he takes the small flower pot and throws it across the room, giving vent to his anger. Anger at himself for doing this. He could've said no. He could've told her he truth, that he found her, and that he would stand by her side for as long as she needed him.
But he decided on the lie.
Making his way upstairs, his phone's screen is on. Taking it from the bed, he finds the app tracking where the cab is going. Where she is going... But he closes it, going to the gallery instead, where he starts skipping through the photos they took.
Keanu is heartbroken for the first time in his life. On every photo, it hurts more and more, until he can't take it anymore. The tears are blinding him, so he lies down on his back, eyes on the ceiling. The house feels empty already, cold... But that's good. Because it suits him perfectly, that's exactly how he feels.
×
@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303
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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago
Note
This isn't a meme thing or anything but I was wondering if you had a top ten favorite characters from books? I actually end up getting a lot of good book recs from reading your blog so I was just curious lol.
LOL I wasn't going to do this ask because I was like ugh I suck at top ten lists because I can never pick just ten. But then I thought about it for like, five whole seconds and realized I DO have ten standout characters in answer to this so its like oh hey, learned something new about myself today! Lmao.
Anyway, in no particular order:
1) Anyanwu - from Wild Seed by Octavia Butler - Can not stress how like fucking...formative Anyanwu's character was for me as an abused kid who first read this when I was like 12. The book heavily deals with the back and forth across centuries between these two immortals, Anyanwu and Doro, as Doro basically tries to control her every which way he can, and Anyanwu just defies him at every turn, and it just....you love to see it. She's a bad-ass and I adore her.
2) Prince Corwin and Merle Corey/Merlin - from Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny - Yes I'm cheating but its me so you should have seen that coming. Another fave series from when I was in middle school, its ten books in total, and the first five are in Corwin's POV and the second five are in the POV of his son Merle/Merlin. So I maintain it counts. And is fine. Shhh, let it go, Elsa said so. ANYWAY, I actually probably like Merle better than his dad, because I mean, lbr, Corwin is a total asshole. But he's MY asshole, y'know? Wait, that came out wrong. Don't quote me there. But you know what I mean. Merle is a lot more level-headed, and quick-witted I think, and I like his supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he sometimes want to kill more than his dad's supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he always wants to kill, but like. Both are Valid. Also shout out to Fiona and Rinaldo, with a side shout out to Flora, who are probably my next three favorites from the series. Dara would be up there too but she knows what she did.
3) Elric/Corum/Dorian/etc - from the Eternal Champion books by Michael Moorcock - Look I'm already cheating so why not continue on a theme. But basically this counts too, I'm just saying. See Michael Moorcock's big project going all the way back to the 60s was he created a fantasy multiverse of different dimensions where this one Eternal Champion, meant to balance the scales between the Lords of Law and the Lords of Chaos, like, is reborn over and over again in different incarnations but who are all essentially him. So Elric of Melnibone, Dorian Hawkmoon, Corum I can never remember his last name.....they're all essentially the same guy.....but they're all at the same time very very very different, and they have extremely different storylines. But I maintain if you're gonna read one you kinda gotta just read them all, all Pokemon like and such forth, because the real beauty of these books is seeing the familiar traces of the Eternal Champion threaded through each of these incarnations but also contrasting how different they are from each other and like, looking at what makes them so different each time and how much it stems from their environment and situations, etc.
4) Civet - from the Dragons of the Inland Sea series by Laurence Yep - This is a kids' series, like for ages 10-12 kinda, but easily my favorite from when I was a kid. I reread them so many times, and I love pretty much all the characters from Shimmer to Thorn to Monkey, but Civet was always a standout. She's essentially a tragic character and her ending is bittersweet, but like.....she fully knows who she is and what she's about and makes no apologies for that, and she ends on exactly the note she wants to. Like, her story and her characterization was pretty damn dark for such a young-aimed series, but that's part of what drew me to it, it managed to capture the tone it set out to convey but in a completely age-appropriate way, and in an era when most books aimed at kids dumbed down most of their story concepts and themes, this one was refreshing for just being....real. Despite being blatantly fantasy. Also the Boneless King is one of the best villains ever, despite being deliberately over the top a lot of the times....idk what it was about him, but he was just chilling.
5) Jack the Bodiless and Diamond Mask - from the Galactic Milieu series by Julian May - These are linked as well because they're a couple and their stories intertwine so much that there's no real point in separating them y'know? That's my story and I'm sticking to it. But anyway, they're a weird choice for me because Julian May is hit or miss for me overall....I HATE her Saga of the Pliocene Epic, which is technically in the same universe as her Galactic Milieu series, but they have totally different vibes and the latter series doesn't contain any of the elements from the Saga of the Pliocene that I loathe, so it just works. Plus it has Jack and Diamond Mask, and like.....I don't actually know why I love them so much? They're just so different from pretty much any other characters I've ever read. Like, May does a lot of really high concept stuff across the board, but Jack and Diamond Mask are like.....high concept character wise? If that makes sense? Its okay if it doesn't. I'm literally just spitting words out here. Honestly, its hard to say anything specific about them because so much of their characters conceptually just doesn't make sense without knowing the in-universe concepts that led to them even existing, but like. They're weird and off the wall but still astoundingly human for all that and I love them.
6) Naomi Nagata - from the Expanse books by James S. A. Corey - I mean, if you've seen me ramble all the Naomi love in my live-watches of The Expanse TV show, this should be no surprise, but my love for her in the books like, exists manifold. She's great in both, but the books cover so much more content-wise, that her character has so much more room to breathe and be explored in all kinds of directions the TV show never touches on. The funny thing is, I actually prefer the TV characterizations overall....I think the authors of the books are actually pretty shit at characterization a lot of the time, but the basic thread of Naomi's character is consistent and the sheer abundance of story material she has in the books like.....keeps me going back to them even just for her. Her conflict with Marco in the books in particular just has so much more depth than in the show....like, I don't hate the show's version at all, anyone who's seen my posts there knows that lol, and I'm not actually even sure which version I actually like more in terms of that particular storyline.....but I just love that both versions are so different, while still being recognizably the same, y'know? I don't even know. Nobody knows. Its a mystery. Just nod and say yes, shh, its fine.
7) Locke Lamora - from The Lies of Locke Lamora/The Gentleman Bastards series by Scott Lynch. This is an odd one for me, because in one sense Locke is a very contrived archetypal character from an author that doesn't always pull it off as successfully as I feel he thinks he does.....like, what I mean is Locke is inherently that type of character that is SUPPOSED to push buttons and straddle a line between likable and unlikable....and to be fair, that is VERY hard to pull off without at least some of the time falling on the wrong side of that line and alienating at least some readers. But there's something very genuine or sincere feeling about the character underneath all that, which is ironic for a character who is an acknowledged pathological liar and hardly ever tells the truth....like I said, its an odd one for me because I can't actually put my finger on what makes this particular character work for me when so many similar characters just bug the crap out of me.
8) Damien - from Black Sun Rising/The Coldfire trilogy by C. S. Friedman - This one is a whole fucking lie because I don't actually even like Damien that much lmao, but the thing is, I don't have a particular fondness for any of the characters in this series? But I gotta put it on the list anyway because I just love the world in this series so much, and its practically a character in and of itself. Like, so this was a science fantasy series set on a distant planet in the future but otherwise steeped in fantasy archetypes about spirit creatures that only Adepts could see, and like, Fae and life energy and sorcery that had roots in scientific principles but was otherworldly all the same. And that's like.....all literally my jam, and so I can't deny that this series was very formative for me even if its not the best example of those concepts. Its just the one I tend to go back to the most in my mind, like....the world and its characters are very standout and larger than life for me, even if they don't specifically APPEAL to me? They're impactful all the same. Its another odd one. I'm odd. You just kinda gotta roll with it. Its a thing. Its factual.
9) Yeine Darr - from The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin - This was a tough one because I love literally everything by Jemisin and all her characters are just so....ooof. They're very very real, even in the most fantastical of settings. I have mad characterization envy every time I read her stuff, but like. Its so good. So really the struggle was picking one character or even two, because I mean, The Fifth Season and its sequels are easily her best known works and have a ton of fantastic characters, and I think her Dreamblood duology is vastly overlooked but in the end I had to go with The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms even if just cuz of nostalgia. Its the first of her works and when I first started reading her and so its just.....anyway, if I was gonna go with that, it had to be Yeine, because she's so central to everything and also just....fantastic. Nahadoth and Sieh are also standout characters who get mentioned a lot in talk of this trilogy, and they're both such big personalities that at times they kinda overshadow Yeine, but Yeine has such a compelling.....undercurrent to her that she never actually gets lost in the shuffle even when surrounded by all these larger than life gods, and just. You love to see it. I do anyway. And its my list so nyah. But also if you're gonna read Jemisin, read everything Jemisin. It just makes sense, y'know? Good for the pores.
10) Cayal and Arkady - from The Immortal Prince/The Tide Lords by Jennifer Fallon - All the other Tide Lords can rot, but Cayal is hilarious in a depressing way. He's a ten thousand year old immortal whose greatest wish is just to die, which is how he meets Arkady who is a historian who just wants to like....know everything he knows once she realizes he actually is the figure of legend he professes to be and is so mad at him for not really giving a shit about all the weight of history he's been present for, but Cayal's just like, umm, I LIVED it so that's why I don't care, I'm allowed to not care, that shit hurt. Did you miss the part where one of the other Tide Lords threw a fucking meteor at me? And Arkady, distinctly unimpressed, is just like....I thought YOU did that, to Jasper. And Cayal's like, no that doesn't sound right. And Arkady's just like, you literally JUST told me that story. And Cayal's like, huh. I must have been lying. I do that sometimes. And Arkady's like, I thought you never lie, that's your whole thing? And Cayal's like, ahah, but what if THAT was a lie too? And Arkady's just like, bitch I hate you so goddamn much, how are you the worst of all the Immortals while still the only one who will actually talk to me and answer my questions. Cayal's like, we may never know.
Anyway, there's my list but like there's a lot more obviously because I'm me, I don't do moderation, its against my religion, but also I have to stop some time and the ask was for ten and those were the ten that popped into my head so they must be the right ones! Probably. Until I change my mind at least.
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maskthesimp · 3 years ago
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Cold Blooded, Warm Hearted - Malia Tate x Self-Insert
Warnings: mentions of child abuse, general violence and gore, crude language, monsters
If you wish to follow this fanfic more closely (as it will be a full on book hopefully) check my Wattpad in the Pinned post! It just makes everything easier~ XOXO
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Chapter 1: Paths Crossed
"Bring him," a voice rings out, fire crackles as chains gently rattle against parallel stone pillars. Echoes of footsteps ring through the halls, coming to a whisper as they enter an open space, the ground lined with sand, crunching under the small boots of he who entered the ceremony room.
"You, child of Connor, Lord of the West Territories; Here you shall evolve. Shed your skin, accept your heritage and become one of us! Take your first kill, and burn away the weakness that plagues you," the voice continues to boom through the vast space, voices whispering and muttering as the small figure makes it's way closer to the rattling chains, "Are you ready, my child?" The voice booms as a man groans, his chains shake and knock together, the heat of the fire laying ontop of his skin like a blanket waiting leap and turn him to ash, "...I am!".
Two cloaked men, jam their spears to the ground next to the younger figure, and take their place next to the chained man, "It's time for you to evolve," says the left man, "Shed your humanity." Says the man on the right. A chant erupts in the observing crowd, 'kill, shed, evolve...kill, shed, evolve...'
The young, small figure slowly walks towards the rattling chains, and the bare man constricted by them. He looks at his hands as ash red claws crawl their way out of his formerly human finger tips, wine red scales peel back up his arm, waist, chest, neck, and face, amber rings brand his once ivy green orbs. "Kill, shed, evolve," the two men echo, gripping the edges of two stone bowls on either side of the chained man, filled to the brim with molten rock, glowing with the licks of flames. The ash red claws glint in the light of the flames, and swing down, sending flicks of blood to the ground, as they melt into the already red scales of the young figure's hands.
The chant continues, over and over again, 'kill, shed, evolve, kill, shed, evolve..', the first stage having been complete. The child winces in fear and nearly stumbles back, but holds himself steady, as the two men release the heated rocks onto the scaled child. A piercing scream erupts into a roar as flames slither their way across the child's body, when he opens his eyes in agony, the burning Amber rings are replaced by a now cold, blue glow.
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[Beacon Hills High-school, Last Period]
"Hey do you guys wanna study after hours?" Stiles asks, standing up from his seat. "I need to, I have a maths test coming up soon," Malia responds, a slight pout growing on her face as she reminds herself of her least favourite class. "Cool, I'll help you out!" A tall, dark boy stands from his seat aswell, Scott, he follows his girlfriend, Malia, and his best friend, Stiles, out of the classroom. They make their way up the stairs, running into their resident Banshee, and Stiles' girlfriend, Lydia, eventually reaching the doors of the library.
They settle down at one of the central desks, each opening their books and beginning to study for their respective classes. "Ya know, we haven't had anything supernatural happen in the past few months, it gives me bad tingles in my feet, like something is gonna happen soon," Stiles squirms in his seat with his his chin resting in his palm, Lydia agrees with Stiles, "Yeh you're right, it does seem weird doesn't it? Maybe The Beast was the last big bad in Beacon Hills. Seems fitting that our last one would be the first Werewolf killed by an Argent." Scott turns to his friend, somewhat rolling his eyes, "C'mon Stiles, you're being paranoid! Not everything is supernatural in this town, we can go one year without finding a body, or having kidnappings, or giant phantom werewolves tearing people apart!" Stiles looks down at his open book, a concentrated frown on his face, "Yeh I guess you're right.."
The conversation moves on, everyone but Stiles focusing on other things. A few minutes pass, before Stiles pipes up about a new face who's entered the library,with long brown and blonde hair, light denim jeans, and a black jacket. "Who's that? I don't recognise them from the new Freshmen, are they a transfer student?" The person wanders over to the Anthropology section, also known as where the stories on Mythological creatures are, "I think so, I've seen them at the Jujitsu hall, I think they were signing up," Malia answers Stiles' characteristically unrelated and random question. She gazes off at the new figure, watching them wander around, their raw fingertips glazing over the spines of each book they pass, until eventually they stop and open one, setting themselves down at a desk behind theirs. Scott turns to his girlfriend, a confused expression stapled to his face, "Why were you near the jujitsu Hall? None of us have a single class near there." Malia directs her attention back to Scott and her friends, her focus on the new teen broken, "Hm? I find it entertaining, why else?" She says as if it's blatantly obvious, which to her friends; it is, almost confused as to why Scott would even bother asking. "They seem like they're around our age, I'm just surprised anyone is even bothering coming to Beacon Hills High anymore, let alone what appears to be a transfer student." Lydia looks up from her notes, also oddly transfixed by the person, who is now deeply involved in their own selected book, "You sure they're our age, Lydia? They're kinda short, maybe puberty is stuck in traffic for them," a chuckle comes from the group's friends Liam, Corey and Mason as they sit down next to the main four, with Scott's Beta, Liam glancing at them each one at a time as a silent greeting. "No, they likely have some form of Dwarfism, a condition that essentially puts a limiter on how tall someone can grow, although there's hundreds of different types so I can't for sure say which one they may have.." Lydia responds almost distantly, still keeping a keen yet seemingly misty eye on the new kid, everyone taking a glance at her, not at all surprised by her scientific knowledge anymore, before they all go back to silently watching the figure.
After a while Stiles stands up, and begins making his way towards the new kid's desk, but not before Scott questions what he's doing, "I'm gonna go talk to them! Every time a mysterious new student shows up something happens, what if we have another Liam? Another time bomb?" Stiles points out, accidentally taking a small dig at their friend with I.E.D, "Hey! That was Scott's fault, I didn't come here as a wolf!" Liam retorts, glaring at Stiles with a frustrated gesture, "Well technically you got yourself tossed off the side of a building, so it was sorta your fault," Mason pipes up, "That was the wendigo's fault! Not mine!" The Beta reminiscences over the time he got bitten by Scott, when he fell off the hospital roof after he was hunted by a hungry Wendigo. "Alright enough! I'm going to talk to this kid and see what their deal is, okay?" Stiles eventually interrupts the debate, settling to try and conversate with this strange new face, "Who's to say they're anything at all? You don't need to be suspicious of every new person ya know," Malia points out to Stiles, shrugging her shoulders, "listen I always trust my gut, they transferred to Beacon Hills High even after everything that's happened here, and oh look! They're reading a book on supernatural creatures! That's not suspicious at all!" The skeptic says sarcastically, before stumbling over to the desk the young figure is sitting at.
He sets himself down clumsily, glancing between the person and their book, "So..a fantasy lover?" Stiles awkwardly asks the stranger sitting before him, he looks up from his reading in an almost panicked state, suddenly closing his book most of the way, "Oh um--..Hi, yeh, just studying for History," They let out a small, awkward chuckle before introducing themselves, "Cael by the way!" They reach out, shaking Stiles' hand as he too introduces himself, "So, you a fan of Mythology too, huh?" Cael attempts to break the Ice a little, worried that his social anxiety was showing, "Yeh," Stiles stares at the back of Cael's chosen book, somewhat zoning out while reading the title; 'The Extensive History and Physiology of Dragons throughout History'. "So, you're a dragon lover aswell then?" Stiles questions the kid's taste in History so Cael explains their history project, "Pff no, I have quite the distaste for them in fact, the history project is to study a part of any culture that we fear, whether it be real, religious, or historical events that took place in a Country's past," he awkwardly shifts in his seat, explained away by his discomfort with the Winged creatures depicted in his selected book, "So, what makes you dislike them so much, just scary? Or a separate reason..?" Stiles lightly stares at the androgynous figure sitting across from him with suspicion he hopes isn't noticeable, "Because they're the most scientifically realistic, in most cases," he responds with a deadpan and almost cold stare. Stiles' mind starts running wild with theories on every word Cael spoke, the way he said them, and other meanings of what he could've meant, his gut giving him more feeling than ever that Cael wasn't who they said they were.
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[Scott's House]
"Scott I'm telling you! This kid is shifty as hell! I checked with some of the people in his class, and they don't have a history homework even close to what he described!" Stiles points out his evidence for Cael's lying, showing his continued distrust for the young lad, "Maybe he just wanted to learn about Dragons, people have interests, Stiles!" Scott argues with his friend, while he watches him rummage through his desk, clearly searching for something, "Why would he lie about something like that? What's the point of lying about an interest in something such as dragons? Why not tell the truth, unless the truth is something you wish to keep hidden?" Stiles finally appears to find what he's looking for, he holds up a hard drive that Scott recognises, the Bestiary that used to belong to the Argents.
Stiles plugs in the Bestiary to his computer, and loads up the index. He scrolls down to the Dragons section and look through it for a while, reading some useful parts out loud; "Much like other shape shifters, dragons appear as human...Dragons have various species among their communities...they have a similar hierarchy system to ancient Kings and Queens of the English Empire..." Scott looks over Stiles' shoulder, silently reading along with him, "Stiles you should head to bed, it's late and we can talk more tomorrow. Listen if something is up with this kid, then we'll eventually find out, but other than a natural interest in fire breathing lizards, he hasn't acted suspicious in the slightest." Stiles turns his spinning chair around to face Scott, "Scott, he said he hates dragons and has a fear of them," Scott's face sinks with confusion, he asks what the skeptic is talking about and Stiles responds, "Whenever I was talking to him, he said that he had a really bad fear of Dragons, when I asked why all they said was because they're the most likely supernatural creature to be exist, is that not in the least bit suspicious?" The Werewolf stands up properly, thinking in silence for a few seconds, "Scott you didn't trust me with Theo, or when I realised I was the one who wrote Kira's name on the chalk board, I just need you to trust my gut this one time!" Stiles begs his friend to go along with his hunch, but Scott seems to be somewhat distant, until he snaps his head up "He could be a hunter! Maybe he's not a supernatural but a hunter!" Stiles claps his hands and points a praising finger towards his best friend, "Yes! Now you're following along! That explains why he was researching dragons, he wasn't studying them for himself, he was trying to figure out ways to defend himself or--"
"Kill them.." Scott quickly interrupts, his gaze sinking to the floor, "That's it, tomorrow we inform the rest of the Pack, and we find him. We'll question him, if my hunch is right and he's a hunter, then he poses a risk to all of us. Including any humans who are involved with protecting the supernatural, aka me! I only have a metal bat to protect myself so it'd be nice to have a heads up on this guy!" Stiles retorts with a snarky undertone, Scott nods his head, agreeing and saying goodnight to his partner in crime before heading home, the last thing he needs is his girlfriend climbing through the window to find his room Scott-less.
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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: [okay so my thought is that like maybe he's been sorting out a Cass rage because he's actually going to this festival and she's fuming about it for obvious reasons but then he comes back and Janis is thinking that Harry might show up cos had that convo with Grace so she's being weird and he's like ?] Janis: [solid plan, awks all 'round, just tryna play off you've been busy whilst he's been arguing like oh hi, definitely didn't hear any of that 'alright?'] Jimmy: [just going for a 🚬 immediately because he's obvs not alright] Janis: fair Janis: they could take a few tips, like Jimmy: gutted they don't know where I live then Jimmy: for that and loads of other reasons, like Janis: naturally Janis: such good craic, who wouldn't want them popping over for a cuppa Jimmy: hot water and 🍋 is nearer to the order they'd put in Janis: do you charge for that at CG? Janis: probably a couple of euro, still Jimmy: put a fancy name on it and you can charge for owt Janis: they're stupid enough to buy it Janis: we're definitely getting them the cheapest paint-thinner vodka, yeah Jimmy: what do you want? 🍾? Janis: 🙄 deffo Janis: any +1s I can get Jimmy: such a celebration 🙌 Janis: everyone's feeling it Janis: we might not end up going anyway Jimmy: what? Janis: you know, fuck knows where they're all at with it Janis: 🤞 I've convinced Grace she has to though Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: whose idea were this? obvs a right dickhead Janis: yeah Janis: if we don't bottle it she can't Janis: tried her best but Jimmy: bottle her before I stay here Janis: you gotta be hot about it Janis: rude Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: come sit with me Janis: you sure Jimmy: you don't wanna? Janis: just thinking if there's any more shit news I have to give you before I do Jimmy: is there? Janis: I dunno Janis: you given any thought to who Mia's mystery guest could be Jimmy: I reckon that 🏌 trip her daddy's on might be #fake Janis: that'd make it all worth it Janis: none of us are that 🍀 Jimmy: or she's choosing now to come out with her 🤞 you will an' all Janis: shut up Janis: you're meant to think Asia is irreplaceable Jimmy: duh Jimmy: I know I'm #blessed Janis: you're the only one Jimmy: 😏 Janis: we all know Mia isn't surprising her with lizard boy Jimmy: or 🐸 from previous Janis: if we're doing a this is your life of her exes, she'll need a bus Jimmy: Alright, no need to make me jealous Jimmy: can't be arsed with the green emojis Janis: you can't be Janis: very #ungoals Janis: they're all massive slags and proud Janis: 'cept #2, who wouldn't and Tammy who couldn't Jimmy: Holly's a good name, bit prickly her Jimmy: the marding and the hair regrowth Janis: 😂 Janis: so mean Jimmy: did have to laugh when princess Ella were like mime to a sad song about it Janis: no doubt being favourite got her cocky but her comebacks were better Jimmy: wonder who'll be fave by the time we get there Janis: not her, if Holly made good on her threat Jimmy: bloody musical thrones Jimmy: could be on telly Janis: 🙄 don't say that Janis: already think they're interesting enough to film it Jimmy: I get it, that's only us, eh babe? 😏 Janis: duh Janis: why it weren't hard to 👑👑 Jimmy: pissed on my 💍 proposal, still fuming Janis: me and all Janis: chat about not getting sarcasm, you know Asia's gonna come at me with a Pinterest moodboard moment Janis: tah so much Jimmy: proper 💕 that girl Janis: mm Jimmy: leaning on your phone cos you're 🗭 about 💍👰 Jimmy: very #goals that Janis: not gonna waste any time dreaming when it's SO real am I Jimmy: you don't want a 🌠 to have a go on then? Jimmy: loads out here Janis: what a totally believable coincidence Janis: guess I better Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [coming out like oh hey] Jimmy: [patting the doorstep he's sitting on like have a seat] Janis: [doing it but raising a brow like 😏 'you gonna give me my annual report or something?'] Jimmy: ['that what you're after from me, is it?' 😏 'loads of long words'] Janis: [shrugs 'asking if you were gonna punish me seemed cliche so'] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: [nudges him, not in a shut up way but a how're you way] Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos not alright so gotta be OTT about it] Janis: [strokes his hair 'we don't have to go, you know, if you need to stay here...they're perfectly capable of tearing themselves apart in the meantime'] Jimmy: [makes an unimpressed noise cos can't admit that he wants to go to be with her or get into how he always needs to stay here whether he likes it or not] Janis: [smushes his face 'alright, grumpy'] Jimmy: [pushing her off but then pulling her into you at the same time as if you're not already close af to each other] Janis: ['what do you wanna do?' soft] Jimmy: [kisses her because that's always what he wants to do even though we all know that's not what she meant] Janis: [allowing it though 'cos same] Jimmy: [just a nice little make out moment to lose ourselves in and forget everything else] Janis: [you really deserve it] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' we know the answer is no but] Janis: ['any chance to fuck with them is a good idea, yeah' 'cos wasn't a bad one, just ehh 'cos of this Harry thing and Cass going off] Jimmy: [nods like that's that settled then cos god forbid you offer your own opinion boy] Janis: ['plus, we get to have our own tent'] Jimmy: ['there's nowt you could say or do to convince me to go if we didn't' sounds like such a challenge lol] Janis: ['stop tryna make me feel special, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['wouldn't be very goals of me, that'] Janis: [makes face like, gutted] Jimmy: [shamelessly just touching her face nbd] Janis: [looking awayayay] Jimmy: [when that devastates you but there's nothing you can say or do because everything's so casual and so only sexual yep] Janis: [just resting your head on his shoulder now 'cos drama] Jimmy: [playing with her hair in the softest way because of course] Janis: ['what are you gonna wear then?' 'cos we're definitely all thinking about our #lewks rn] Jimmy: [such a surprised lol because not what he expected her to say obvs] Janis: ['this isn't a laughing matter' in some semblance of a Mia impression] Jimmy: [when it's probably pretty accurate so you flinch like oh no I hate that] Janis: [loling evilly, 'not doing Asia for you, get over it'] Jimmy: [💔 hands even though it means you have to stop playing with her hair for a sec] Janis: ['bitch' who we referring to here] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi cos assuming she means him] Janis: ['what you gonna do about it?' 😏] Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been a minute] Janis: ['not going to apologize to her'] Jimmy: ['if not that, what is the plan?'] Janis: [🤔 face] Jimmy: [hiding his 😍 by looking at the imaginary watch like any time you're ready] Janis: [nudges him like alright, alright 'how can we make the divide even bigger? need to get them to fight again, which really shouldn't be hard'] Jimmy: ['your sister and the tall one are already about to snap, no challenge there, if we really want to fuck her over we need to get her ultimate fave on side' shrugs because that's always the mood] Janis: ['yeah, but they always roll over, that's the problem, we have to kick it up that notch so they all go beyond that...I just don't know how, ditto what we can give that one that Mia can't, like' shrugs back] Jimmy: [gets his phone and shows her that he's messaging Asia like he really wants her boyfriend there for the lad bants because that's an easy given to annoy Mia] Janis: ['I think she's invited Harry, or she wants me to think she has or- I don't fucking know but I don't think he'll come anyway' when you just blurt that out in response 'cos as good a time as any] Jimmy: [such a look like wtf cos god knows what he'll say if he blurts something out rn cos so 😒] Janis: ['the way she didn't say...they basically give each other measurements and a star-rating usually so- don't you reckon she was trying to get at us?' shrugs like could be wrong but we all know it ain't] Jimmy: [when you get up because you know she's right and you're fuming honey] Janis: ['I know' but also like ?! reaction you can't hide] Jimmy: [he literally has no words for how fucked up this all is and how much he can't stand Mia so just the biggest sigh to ever have existed] Janis: ['there's no way he'll come, bet she ain't even asked'] Jimmy: ['that's alright then' bit of sarcasm for you there Ella lol] Janis: ['Well, ain't it?'] Jimmy: [😒 af face] Janis: ['she's a cunt, we've known that'] Jimmy: [sitting back down where you were but you're not chill at all] Janis: [getting him another 🚬 and then herself] Jimmy: [furiously 🚬 while he's trying to think of ways to fuck Mia over] Janis: sorry Jimmy: shut up Janis: well I am Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't] Janis: [shrugs like fine but is just jogging her leg up and down 'cos not cool with this and has been thinking about it since the chat] Jimmy: [puts his hand on said leg like stop it's okay] Janis: ['he's so-' lacking the words or adequately hardcore 😒 face for him] Jimmy: ['he's nowt we can't handle' but so genuinely said not like ha we're so 🥇 bants] Janis: ['we shouldn't have to, you especially but still, it's bullshit'] Jimmy: [shrugs but looking at her 'I said you're worth sticking around for, didn't I?' because everything is bullshit or worse in jimothy's life rn we know so to say that and mean it is a LOT 'not gonna change my mind 'cause of him, her or any other knobheads'] Janis: ['I-' when you can't even begin to say anything that you think matches what he's just said remotely so you just falter but the LOOK is everything] Jimmy: ['it'll be alright' said like even if it's not it still will be because he literally only cares about her so he'll make sure it is] Janis: [nods and squeezes his hand 'fuck 'em all'] Jimmy: [draws the heart with their initials in on her hand with his fingertip pressing harder than usual for emphasis and obvs using the hand she's not holding so he doesn't have to let go because they in this together and such a good team and not because he loves her or anything nope] Janis: ['draw blood or it didn't happen, baby' bravado to cover the real as hell 😳] Jimmy: [taking the invitation to do a new lovebite because we all need that distraction before shit gets any feelsier] Janis: [lean into the sex of it all kids 'cos we don't need to fake any of that to still be real[ Jimmy: [lowkey love that you're on the doorstep still] Janis: [bonjour neighbours, Ian will be thrilled and thus I am 'cos fuck you] Jimmy: [same because you make this flatwhite drama seem like a picnic sir] Janis: [true tea, like in the grand scheme of things, are we bothered] Jimmy: [he's really not we know he's only doing any of this for her and to spend time with her so] Janis: [and as much as Mia deserves payback by this point, this is all a distraction from the real mess of her life too so] Jimmy: [the truest tea] Janis: [probably do at least take this to the back lol] Jimmy: [enough people and a dog milling around to make you think someone could be about to come out of that door and convince you to move lol] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [take all the alone time you can get rn cos this festival is gonna be a LOT] Janis: [we know it, as much as you're low-key just like we gonna spend the whole time just 😍 at this point, 'cos fuck it, won't actually be that, soz] Jimmy: [mhmm we'll make sure Mia has a worse time but it's not gonna be all fun and games for you two] Janis: [joy of joys] Jimmy: [we should make a list of everything we wanna happen in terms of the flatwhites bs when we're done but before we start the festival fr so we can decide how to ref it] Janis: [good idea carrot] Jimmy: [cos obvs we only care how it effects jj soz not soz] Janis: [but of course, we gotta timeline the drama so we don't forget anything] Jimmy: [do we wanna now or is there anything else we wanna do in this convo?] Janis: [hmm, like she's probably gonna try and leave 'cos still in that stage of like, you don't want me to sleep over but aside from that moment, we can probs get going on the plan] Jimmy: [we could always bring out the big guns because Ian isn't gonna want him to go either but like obvs don't wanna go too hard with that before they go for a million reasons] Janis: [we can deffo do that afterwards, like they've already had a time then Ian is fuming, think that's better] Jimmy: [agreed because we know we're gonna do something to make the fwb awks on top of the flatwhites bs so his mood will be peak sick of Ian's shit] Janis: [gonna move her in so soon get over it sir] Jimmy: [alright in that vein how do you wanna do her trying to leave?] Janis: [like it clearly gets to tea time or something like that where she can be like, I'll leave you to it] Jimmy: [and he's like bit rude like it's all bants and she's a rich girl with fancy tastes and he's a poor boy who can't cook we know the drill] Janis: [and she's like don't be stupid 🙄 'cos gotta defend yourself even in bants] Jimmy: [and he's like now I'm thick as well, tah very much etc etc] Janis: ['just northern'] Jimmy: ['oi, keep taking my lines off me and what am I meant to say?' and a look that's nearly a LOOK because there's so much being unsaid and we all know it, them included] Janis: [mimes 🤐 but on his face not hers for closeness you simply do not need but clearly do] Jimmy: [picks her up which you're still not meant to do boy and puts her on the kitchen counter like you're staying that settles it] Janis: ['am I sous chef or the appetizer?'] Jimmy: [can't speak cos 🤐 but his 👀 are saying so much rn] Janis: [thinking he's being quiet 'cos the kids are like in the lounge or something so kinda like whooops 'dessert, maybe'] Jimmy: [still looking at her like are you gonna stay for that long because don't actually wanna say it in case she's like no] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'no one's expecting me, like'] Jimmy: [releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding, like] Janis: [getting down off the counter like go on then, lemme help] Jimmy: [god knows what we're making but we're doing it together guys] Janis: [kissing his cheek 'cos he's cute] Jimmy: [properly kissing her because that made him die] Janis: [remember at calis in the kichen, a mood] Jimmy: [we should have one of the kids come in before they get too extra/the food is forgotten about entirely] Janis: [deffo] Jimmy: [who do you vote for cos very different vibes depending if it's Bobby or Cass lol] Janis: [we can be a bit mean and say its Cass] Jimmy: [LOL imagine her face just like don't mind me starving to death you two carry on] Janis: [not winning any points yet babe] Jimmy: [we know you will soon gal] Janis: what did your ex do? Jimmy: ? Janis: she must've done something to make your sister hate all of your 'gfs' that hard by default Janis: even if I am delaying her tea, like Jimmy: she did loads of things Janis: right Jimmy: @ either of them for the list Janis: you're alright Janis: not that nosy Jimmy: just 🤏 Jimmy: I get it Janis: 'course Janis: if the reason my parents hated you was worth telling I would, like Jimmy: community service ain't enough of a reason? Janis: 'course not Janis: not when you pretend you're still cool to prove you ever were Jimmy: 👎 Janis: what, you wanna go harder to be public enemy #1? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: obviously Janis: you tryna displease my parents is just as weird as you tryna please 'em Janis: just pretend they don't exist, yeah Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: they ain't even in your age-range Janis: behave Jimmy: gutted about that an' all Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: gross, you Jimmy: Bill's gonna be well proud of that protest Jimmy: and your cool parents an' all Janis: piss off Janis: [😒 face] Jimmy: [hooray we can do the beloved pouty face lip thing when he of course kisses her rn oh how I've missed it] Janis: [likewise 'cos loves that so much] Jimmy: [I think it's the first time and I'm fine about it] Janis: [in that case, she's so not, forgetting you just got shaded about being extra so hard] Jimmy: [soz not soz Cass] Janis: ['you know-' being quiet enough that hopefully you aren't disturbing everyone rn '-you know how much I want you' is that a question or a statement, we love being vague] Jimmy: [there's no way he's being quiet enough if he doesn't kiss her really hard rn deal with it everyone he doesn't wanna take care of y'all he wants to be 15 and extra] Janis: [let this boy live] Jimmy: [we're living in this kitchen atm though] Janis: [gotta be up against the door like soz no one come in rn] Jimmy: [give them all the moments thank you cos there's no stopping this and we aren't sorry about it] Janis: [y'all will be fine, they won't] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: ['I need you' 'cos close as you're allowed to get rn ty] Jimmy: [likewise say her name in response cos that's all I'm letting you say] Janis: [all ready for this trip] Jimmy: [gonna be hilarious for us but not for you] Janis: [so, let's do a flatwhite cringe checklist lol, one of them, probably Asia, needs to be schwasted and get WELL lost, like maybe her mans does show halfway through the night and is like where is she and they're like ??? and then it's dramaaaa] Jimmy: [that's a really good idea] Jimmy: [I think Grace should be the one who hooks up with a lad and then they can't get rid of him and his gaggle of mates because that'd annoy Mia so much which she swore to Janis she would do but also something she would do because Ella called her fat and Hollie should sleep with one of the others but not remember which one it is like we said] Janis: [I vibe that, oh Hollie, hmm what else, one of them needs to freak out in the crowd and have to get pulled out, that's v cringe, like it's hardly a moshpit ladies] Jimmy: [I was literally gonna say someone should go to the first aid tent for no real reason because same vibe] Jimmy: [Ella should be the crowd freaker outer because she probably doesn't like to be touched and Mia should go to the first aid tent like nearly as soon as they get there because gotta pull focus and phone her daddy for that attention she's not getting from her squad rn] Janis: [approved, what a holy show, ladies, plus if Mia does that it'd be a way to force them into a truce without them realizing like omg are you okay and all taking care of her she don't need] Jimmy: [yeah exactly what a snek and it gives her an excuse to cry over the fact Harry ain't coming without them knowing that's why like she's not upset she's just so ill okay] Janis: [obviously they'll all get white girl wasted and embarrassing with that] Jimmy: [good lord yes that's a given at least when JJ get drunk they embarrass themselves with how much they secretly love each other, state of that lot honestly] Janis: [seriously, if it's a small festival maybe the lads they hook up with are in one of the bands 'cos that'd be annoying thinking they're like famous and it's like you aren't though and you were probably shite] Jimmy: [yaaaas I love that] Jimmy: [I also vote that the weather is really crap cos JJ won't care but they would cos their hair and their lewks] Janis: ['cos it always is and you have to roll with it but they apparently didn't get the memo lol] Jimmy: [Hollie the only one vaguely appropriately dressed for festival life] Janis: [it's funny 'cos festival fashion is meant to be so effortless and none of them can ever like they'll look so try-hard and their age 'cos younger girls are like that at raves and shit too like you gotta hang] Jimmy: [mhmm so mad cos Janis looks fire whenever aren't you Mia] Janis: [their posh girl lewks, oh lord] Jimmy: [I just imagine Mia's dad being slightly weird about getting updates throughout the weekend cos he's that cringey and near incesty] Janis: [deffo, when you're in a relationship with your dad, like how's golf, how's the lads, eurgh] Jimmy: [honestly though just having that husband and wife style convo nbd] Janis: [that's why you mad he cheating on your ma, don't lie] Jimmy: [the tea, girls that are older than you but still far too young for him and everything you wish you were] Janis: [he's not even fit it's so sad and gross] Jimmy: [no happy ending for you hun] Janis: [so we've got a good idea for them, what do we wanna do with the fwb moment?] Jimmy: [I wanna fuck it up cos I'm evil but I'm not sure how yet] Janis: [hmm, let's think]
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milkte-aa · 5 years ago
Text
" deal breaker! " (myg x y/n x jjk) 001
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📍tags/genre ;; angst, satire, demon!au, prince!au.
📍summary ;; many many years ago, an ancestor of yours made a deal with two demon princes and never paid his debt. the demons, who lay dormant, have awoken and want their prize. and as a blessing and a curse, the prize is you.
📍author's note ;; the story is a bit mature, so chapters that don't have gore, violence, or smut, are still best for 16+ readers. but, of course, read at your own expense.
📍to find other chapters search #db-jjkmyg
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"Come on, Jungkook! We don't have all year!!"
That loud voice resonated throughout the large, victorian styled manor. The dark hardwood floors were just a clean and shiny as they had been left, back when the victorian era was on the rise. It was a tragic day, when the manor was left behind, and that day would always be remembered as the day when the demons lost the great war. The two demon princes, who resided within this manor had fought and the front lines, and were forced into dormancy when they lost.
The heavy sound of footsteps could be heard at the home's entrance from deep within the many halls. Approaching every so calmly, Yoongi knew his call had been heard.
He gazed into the round mirror next to the coat rack that lay in the manor's entrance hall, fingertips brushing lightly over his cheek and jaw. The last time he'd seen his own face, was over 130 years ago, and there had been a long and deep cut that split his face in half diagonally. It was strange that they woke up, let alone come back completely unharmed or scarred. It left Yoongi to wonder why he was returned to his original state? Why wasn't his black hair matted with blood? Why was his skin left smooth and clean and not cracked, cut, and burned? Why was Jungkook so unhurt as he? He was greatful that his lover was back in the correct mental state, but why was it so?
"Weird isn't it? That we look brand new?" A chuckled rumbled across the entryway, taking Yoongi's attention away from his silvery reflection. He looked to Jungkook, the tall and handsome boy he'd had as a companion for centuries.
Yoongi nodded, looking back towards the mirror for a moment. He watched himself, quietly staring into his dark eyes. Jungkook cleared his throat in an attempt to get the other's attention, "So, hyung, why did you call my name?"
Jungkook had shoved his hands into the pockets of his blazer, with a coy smile on his face. Depsite them having come back so 'new', they were still wearing the same clothes. Black blazer's and slacks, dress shoes, and decorative silk shirts with matching chokers. Silver and gold adorned their fingers and ears, matching the outfit and the era they had left behind.
"Ah yes, we have some unfinished business to conclude." Yoongi turned again to the younger male, "Sadly, that war interrupted us."
Jungkook tilted his head. He was tired and confused, and quite frankly it took a second for him to even recall the very war that took place. But he caught on, remembering the crippled old man that had begged them to cure his only child of an incurable disease. They had done so, with promise that they would be able to collect whatever prize they wished from him when they returned—whether it be riches, land, or a soul. He nodded.
"Is there any prize to collect?"
Yoongi licked his lips. "I believe so. I looked into while you took a nap. The current family isn't rich, so I think we'll be collecting a soul. Unless something else takes our interest."
Jungkook liked the idea of a prize, even though the last thing he could remember was losing a great battle. Souls meant servants. Servants meant things getting back to normal.
Yoongi approached his companion, placing a palm on the younger's cheek. He still saw the condition Jungkook used to be in. The beaten and swollen image lingered in his memories. "I'm so happy you're okay..."
Jungkook smiled, setting his own hand over Yoongi's. "Mhmm, me too. Now, let's go get our well earned prize before it runs away."
"Yes, let's."
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Your ancestory had always been a mystery to you. It felt like living in fog, and only ever seeing what was closest to you. You never met your grandparents, as they were all dead before you were born, and so you could never ask silly questions about what wars they lived through or where they grew up. Your parents wouldn't talk about it much, especially after their divorce when you were thirteen.
Though, despite all that you didn't know, there was always one thing that remained clear—your family was cursed.
The story was simple; over 100 years ago, a man in your family made a choice. Would he save his daughter from death or would he let her go and end her suffering? Despite what his little girl had wanted, he chose to save her from the clutches of death, and looked everywhere for the cure. But no books held the answer and no doctor had the time. He had lost hope. That was, until the man was approached by a mysterious creature and offered a deal. He took it without much thought, not caring to ask what the creature was or where it came from. Because of that, his ancestors believed him to have cursed the bloodline— due to making a deal with something that has yet to collect its end of the bargain.
If the family really was cursed, then maybe that would explain why you felt like nothing ever went right. All through highschool, you made mediocre grades and never seemed to impress your parents while simultaneously managing to never make any long lasting friendships. During the year between highschool and college, you had gotten fired at almost every job you took for extremely stupid things. And now, in university, depsite having finally made some good grades you're knee deep in student loan debt. You could hardly pay bills as it was, and soon enough the bank would show up a take you shitty car and even shittier apartment.
But what could you do about that? Nothing, really. Life is just a series of miserable mistakes and regrets, with the only promising goal being growing old and retiring right at the age when freetime is uncomfortable and impossible. Yeah, life is shitty. Life was so shitty sometimes, that it made you wish that the deal your idiot ancestor made would come back and haunt you because then maybe life wouldn't be so painfully drab.
Though, your catch yourself in that thought because demons, or monsters, or fairy tales weren't real.
Ring ring ring!
The distint chime of your cellphone rang at you from your bedroom, gently calling you to answer an important phone call.
"Who is it at this hour? Its almost 10 o'clock..." You pulled yourself up from the old cushions of your hand-me-down couch, eyes briefly passing over the screen of your tv, which flashed with commercials at the moment. With quick steps, you reached your bedroom, which wasn't really that far away at all, and managed to reach your phone before it quit ringing.
"Hello?"
Nothing could be heard from the other end, thought you were certain someone was listening to you.
"Who is this? If you're trying to sell me something just do it already and don't waste my time."
Nothing again, and with that you hung up— people these days were rude over the phone too. You huffed, turning your phone off and chucking it on the bed with a soft thud. Through your annoyed attitude, though, a strange feeling of coldness swept up your spine. It swarmed your brain, filling your mind with a ice so black and dark that it stopped you from thinking for a moment. But it faded, as it some sort of fire or heat had burned it away. Strange, you thought, and then you snapped back into reality.
The tv show you were watching echoed in the distance.
You walked quietly back to the living room, gazing down at your index finger and grumbling at the chipped blue nail polish as you did. You hardly paid attention to your surroundings in this moment, and ran into the couch, slamming your toe against its hard bottom.
"F-fucking hell! Bitchass couch, always in my fucking way!" You yelled out, squeezing your eyes in pain as you reached down to hold your throbbing toe.
A soft sound eerily similar to the clicking of tongue of teeth could be heard, and then...
"Well that wasn't a very ladylike set of words." The low grumble of words jerked you out of your pain, your eyes wide as the shot up to see a man sitting on your kitchen counter, his legs crossed calmly over one another. He was cold. That very coldness you'd felt just before you left you bedroom.
"W-who'er you?!" You scrambled backwards, nearly falling your ass in the process. "How'd you get in my house?!!"
The man chuckled, cleary amused with your prey-like display. His dark gaze raked over you slowly, and his tongue peeked out of his lips for a brief moment. He had black hair, brushed out of his face to show a subtle bit of the pale skin on his forehead. The rest of him was pale, all except his eyes and hair... and the oddly Victorian outfit he wore. "Who am I? How'd I get in? Those are your questions?" He scoffed, "Mortals... You never cease to amuse...."
He trailed off just as you looked to your left, spotting a large black dog towaring over your couch and gazing at you. It looked like a hellhound, but there was something oddly human about it. At closer look, the dog had black horns atop its head and rows of razor sharp teeth and a two-pronged tongue. Its tail swung around carfully, like a snake.
The man on your counter spoke again, "I am a demon, little girl, older than your bloodline and nearly as old as religion itself. This here is my friend, who decided to appear in this form rather than a human one...."
You scoffed, definitely by accident. The reflex in you to pass off stupid claims as symptoms of a low IQ. You regretted this immediately.
The man showed you his teeth, a flashy way to tell you to know your place. "I'm serious, girl. You can stand there all wobbly kneed a pretend that you don't know, deep down inside what we are, but I see right through you." He looked to the dog, that looked back at him and let out an impatient whine. "But... I will be kind and tell you the story, so that maybe then you'll show us some more respect."
You blinked several times, a feeble attempt as waking up from this nightmare. Demons? Imposible! Such a stupid idea. These are just figmants of your imagination. Maybe your family was cursed; but it would be cursed sooner with insanity that it would with demons.
"Once upon a time, during the Victorian Era, a young girl suffered from a bad case of of some very mysterious disease. Her father wanted her to live so very badly, and sold everything he had to find her a cure. But no doctor could care to help, and no witch had a practical solution. He poor, little girl was dying and each day the pale horse grew closer. But, one day, he found himself in the presence of two strange creatures that he passed off as extremely smart hellhounds. Whatever they were, he made a deal with them, selling his soul for his daughter's life. The 'creatures' were nice, and decided to wait until the man got to live a happy life with his daughter before they came to collect his soul and his life. But, those 'creatures' got caught up in a war and were left dormant for over 100 years. And now, they need to get paid for their kindness..."
You could out two and two together, you were mental, the 'deal' your ancestor made was real and it was with this man here and his... dog?
"So that's not really a dog?" You pointed to large mass of dark fur that starred at your with red eyes.
The man shook his head, "No, that's my partner-in-crime Jungkook. And I'm Yoongi. Glad to see you've found your common sense, little girl."
"So, um, Yoongi, what do I have to do with this deal? You can't possibly be here for my soul, I didn't make that stupid deal..." You tried to calm down, but it was difficult to say the least. You were starring death and its dog, er, friend in the face. Who could stay calm during that?
Yoongi looked to his friend, nodding subtlety before he adjusted his hair with a heavily jeweled hand. "I hate to tell you this, but a soul is hard to get once its dead, not unless we were there to grab it. But as I said, its been 100 years, and your great great great grandaddy is probably deep within the inferno. Jungkook and I hardly have the time to find him."
"So, you're going to kill me?" The wind outside your apartment's front door howled, a sign of an on coming storm before it happened. You could almost taste the rain in the air.
The room was silent for a moment, giving your thoughts time to catch up to the situation. You've been acting like this were a real situation. As if! Demons aren't real. Neither was magic or curses ir any of that other mumbo-jumbo. To even believe it for a second would make your insane. Maybe you were. Maybe you were in some sort of looney-bin hospital strapped to a white table and screaming like all hell was loose.
Then, the more fake than real, Yoongi spoke up. He cleared his throat, hopping gracefully off of the marble countertop. The slender man approached you, peering into your fearful and confused face before looking to his hound-shaped companion. The hound thing nodded.
"Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but we can't kill you just yet." Yoongi seemed pleased, a hidden emotion swimming in the dark pools of his eyes. "Remember that war I mentioned? Yeah, well it drained us of our power, and now we can't do something as simple as collect a soul."
Crazy, stupid, gullible girl! This isn't real! Stop responding to your hallucinations!!
You shook your thoughts away, saying nothing to Yoongi at all. He was definitely talkitive and would more than likey continue speaking on his own.
".... So, girl, that means that you're coming with us and will stay under our watch until we're strong enough to do such."
And so he proved you right.
"You don't believe me do you? You think your just a normal, everyday psycho broad who dropped her marbles somewhere and can't find them." Yoongi chuckled. "Do you want to know something? If you were dreaming or imagining this, then you wouldn't be able to feel pain or taste things. And I do recall you jamming your toe not too long ago."
Defiantly, you looked up at him, meeting him eye-to-eye in a show of boldness. "That doesn't prove anything. I could've started hallucinating between then and now. God, look at me, I'm giving into this whole brain fiasco and talking to you! And you're not even real!" You laughed, making this possibility of madness grow.
"Oh how amusing! I, the wonderfully boring and dull, Y/n, have finally gone absolutely insane. I see demons and hellhounds! What's next, fairies and unicorns? Will I begin to preach that I have seen God's true fac-" Your babblings were halted by the most violently pleasant burning sensation, accompanied by the feeling of lips against yours. The mouth against your's was soft, gentle even, with not a hint of malicious intent. You gave in, melt into the touch the snaked around your body— your demon has kissed you.
The moment didn't last long, though you wished it had, because suddenly your bottom lip seared with pain and the taste of blood filled your mouth. Those soft lips tugged themselves away, leaving you with a bloody lip.
"You bit me!" You accused, touching your fingertips to your lip. Yoongi licked his lips, an remnants of your blood disappearing. He grinned.
"Better yet, you would've liked that pain if I kept on with that kiss."
"Why would you do that?" Your ears and cheeks burned with embarrassment. He had done that on purpose, to prove some point more than likey. But the fact that you felt it—his lips, the pain—it meant that-
"This is real. I am real. So is, my very annoyed friend over there." He gestured calmly to the hound who was scrunching its face up, a low rumble emitting from its throat. Your eyes darted back to Yoongi, who was still smiling. "So, sweetheart, are you going to give in and come with us willingly or is he going to drag you?"
You added it all up in your head. Demons, hellhounds, broken deals, war, soul stealing, and ownership. This was crazy... but real. Maybe. The mind is tricky. You contemplated locking yourself in the bathroom and waiting for them to leave, but Jungkook would definitely tear the door down and rip you into ribbons. You could go with them too. Its not like you would be leaving much behind. Your poor parents would be so torn up about it if you just went missing out of nowhere.
Yoongi still stood relatively close to you, so you backed up a bit before you spoke. "I'll go with you, but... let me pack a bag and write a note in case anyone comes looking. Alright?"
You were insane, this was insane, but you had no real choices.
Yoongi nodded, satisfied with your response. "Alright, but hurry. We don't have all year."
And with that, you scurried to your bedroom with two pairs of knowing eyes burying themselves into your back. What had you gotten yourself into, Y/n?
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clarste · 6 years ago
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Isn't the Sumireko that normally visits Gensokyo not the Sumireko from the dream world? Doremy says in Sumireko's route of AoCF that Sumireko's real self breaks out and overtakes her dream self when she goes to Gensokyo and that Dream Sumireko is 'oppressed' in the process. I only have the meh official english translation to go off; it's the post-fight dialogue of Stage 3 if you want to check. There's also Yukari making a body double in WaHH which implies it's not Dream Sumireko's body either.
This is more or less what I meant by “I dunno, it’s weird.”
Anyway, I don’t have the official English translation on hand, but the specific line you’re referring to is probably this:
それは普段から夢の世界の貴方を追い出して現の貴方が乗っ取っていたのです
Which I translated in the fan patch as:
Normally what’s happening is thatyou expel your dream self,which is then taken over by your real self.
Staring at this sentence in Japanese too long is confusing me a little, but basically I read that as “the dream you is expelled (from the dream world)” and then “the real you was hijacking it (the dream self).”
So the body in Gensokyo is the dream self’s, but it’s being controlled by Sumireko’s conscious mind (her real self) instead of her unconscious mind. IE: she perceives Gensokyo as a lucid dream. This means that the dream self (her unconscious mind) never gets a chance to be in control, and is therefore oppressed. You could say that Sumireko doesn’t dream at all.
However, while all this is taking place her real body has always been asleep at home or in school. That’s just how sleeping works. Even when Yukari was making a body double to balance out the transfer, Sumireko’s real body was still in her bed/desk. I don’t know exactly where the body doubles are being sent, but it’s not where Sumireko’s body is. I mean, you’d think her classmates would have something to say about that.
Anyway, what happens in AoCF is a whole lot less clear because there’s an additional body or two being thrown into the mix. Doremy’s dream self finally has control of its own body and is going on a rampage (I think Nitori also meets her?). There’s a doppelganger created by Sumireko’s urban legend. There’s the real Sumireko, still asleep in her bed. And then there’s… someone who just wakes up in the Dream World. The one you control. Who is she? Why does she exist? What happened that created her? I think this is the biggest mystery of the route.
Of course, one simple answer is that Sumireko’s real world body has been transported to the Dream World and she’s no longer asleep outside. But how’d that happen?
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