#this was later career shymalan bad

[sweetfirebird]

okay I stewed on it and I know it's a Stephen King miniseries from the 90s so who cares but having watched two King miniseries from the 90s this week (and who once watched The Mist as well), they have the same flaws but in Storm of the Century, the flaws are especially obvious and I need rant about it on the internet for a second. This is a mess of thoughts and I don't care.

I am going to ignore how the danger of the storm changed from moment to moment depending on what was convenient for the action. And I am also going to assume that a lot of the costuming and makeup decisions were a matter of budget and not character hints or anything. I know this production was not that deep. I know that.

That said (whew boy), this story does that thing that some King stories do where they are structured like a mystery (in fact, SotC and Rose Red are both set up like that, and a closed circle mystery at that). So there is horror but the mystery conventions are front and center--until the end, when King abandons them, and you, completely. Something that probably worked more in a 90s tv miniseries format where it was unlikely that people would rewatch it, or watch it all at once with other miniseries, so the issues would be less glaring.

Anyway. So because it's set up like a mystery, your brain is looking for clues like it's a mystery--and you are apparently given clues. Which is why the endings feel especially stupid and meaningless because all indications were that the ending and big reveal was going to matter!!

But then, JJ Abrams surprise! the endings do not matter and none of the clues mattered or were even really clues! And you feel stupid for thinking they were!! You fucking idiot, expecting competent writing!

This is slightly less the case with Rose Red, but it's still evident there. All the showy bits, all the references, all the details that seemed relevant because the story focused on them? Just window dressing to make the story seem deeper and/or cooler than it actually was.

Let's talk SotC because this set up several possibilities for the identity of the big bad and then it never really answered them.

Since part of his identity was his undefined threat hanging over the townspeople for most of the series, one would assume his threat was meant as a clue, right? And that all conversations about him and his threat were then also clues, right?

Wrong. None of it was relevant. He is just a bad demon guy or something and incidentally implies Christian Hell might be real but don't worry about it. Also he dresses like a wizard. A stupid wizard. Now, again, because every single story element has been about this guy and his motives, you would think this identity issue would be resolved. But no.

And then we get into the things specifically mentioned regarding this guy and how actual good storytelling would have used them better.

For example

In the beginning, the camera lingers on a sign for a daycare that is called "Wee Folk" so oh okay, are the fae involved?

no. red herring in the mystery that King had no interest in resolving. Because it's not a mystery it's a horror story. It's just written like a mystery until the end so shut up.

Then we get a Biblical story about Legion, so oh ok, is this about that?

Never mentioned again don't worry about it.

Hell is mentioned and he's called the Devil more than once, though he says he isn't. (Though the Devil would lie, I suppose, but would he dress like a stupid wizard?)

Roanoke gets mentioned, several times, in the corniest aspect of the whole thing, and is also never resolved but I guess the implication is that the people of Roanoke chose not to listen to the weird random bad guy who showed up there. And this is just a thing he does sometimes every few hundred years even though from what else he says, it sounds like there is a time limit, and also why wouldn't he try it elsewhere in the meantime? Fuck you for asking! This isn't a mystery, it's a horror! Just because it's structured like a mystery doesn't mean anything! Pay no attention to the man behind the c--

And then, and this one is the most egregious to me because it shows how little thought went into this story--they mention the Book of Job. I'm not going to explain Job here but that is.... not a book that I think should be brought up lightly if you are exploring why bad things happen to good people and/or asking where god is during dark times. (you heard me, season two of Good Omens, I said what I said). But if you are going to bring it up in a story like this... then you'd better fucking address it. It's not just a "clue" in the mystery that never was, it's fucking thematically relevant!!! Writing 101! What the actual fuck, Stephen King?

idk what Methodists in small-town Maine think of the Book of Job or the Old Testament in general, but how this book is perceived and interpreted by Methodists/Christians feels like an issue worth exploring in a story about god leaving you to suffer and taking your children. What would you expect the "good" Methodists on this island to think and do.

The Book of Job discussion also again sets up the idea that this entire thing is part of a divine plan or test. But I guess it wasn't!!! What kind of idiot would think it mattered just because they kept mentioning it! And showing shots of the small town buildings with quotes about god and faith on them!!!!???? You must be really stupid if you think any of that was important! Scary monster man! Wizard clothes! Sharp teeth! grrr!

Okay. OKAY and then, related to that subject. Outside of this movie, in like, faith circles, there is talk about possessions and angelic or demonic visitations are about how the possession (or visitation) is not really about the person it's happening to. It's about someone else. Or several others. It's about showing them something or testing them. And on this fucking island in this story, we are shown one person who is consistently mentioned as trying to be good, and to see the good in others. Despite all the crap around him. When horrible secrets are exposed, his worst secret is cheating on a test one time for something that wasn't even his major.

So clearly that is important too, right? This is maybe some Old Testament-esque test for the town, or for him, or the bad stupid wizard demon man is here to torment and test this guy specifically, right?

no.

he's just here to be evil, and dress like a wizard, and then leave, the end. and the good guy is like a little sad at the end but moves and gets a new job and I guess that is supposed to be some sort of Job thing? But then also no and everyone mostly on, the end.

And it was corny. Did I mention it was corny? Colm Feore tried though. The second they mentioned Roanoke, I groaned out loud. The constant CONSTANT use of children's rhymes to indicate scary things will happen? the nonsense couplets about sin???? implying he isn't evil maybe but instead a more Old Testament way of punishing sinners? Just there to sound cool. Ultimately meaningless. Fuck you again.

Oh and it definitely felt stretched. It got repetitive real fast, which--surprise! also felt like it was on purpose at first because the villain said outright, "Hell is repetition."

But it wasn't on purpose. It was just padding the run time.

I will stop now. This isn't even really a review. I just was not expecting to say, "This is so fucking stupid" out loud as many times as I did while watching this.

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Pioneer of the Plot Twist: Ranking M. Night Shyamalan’s 10 Best Films On His Birthday

Surprise! Happy Birthday, M. Night Shyamalan

Here at Nightmare on Film Street, we love to celebrate the most influential creators in the world of genre film. Today is no different as we celebrate the birth of one of the most innovative, and polarizing, directors in modern cinema: M. Night Shyamalan.

Born August 6th 1970, Shyamalan burst on to the scene in 1999 with the success of his third film, the supernatural mystery The Sixth Sense. The film was both a critical and commercial success, earning 6 Oscar nominations and a whopping $672 million at the box office. The Sixth Sense also changed the landscape of genre cinema with it’s mind-scrambling twist. A surprise ending that would eventually become Shyamalan’s signature style. Over the years, Shyamalan’s name has even become a pop culture reference, used as a verb when a movie or life reveals a perspective altering twist. Example: “My best friend is actually my reincarnated Iguana from 4th grade, I just got Shyamalaned!

But M. Night Shyamalan’s career isn’t based solely off twists. The writer/director’s filmography is substantially unique, combining his inventive story premises with a myriad of different film genres from pseudo-superhero to found footage. It would also be an understatement to say M. Night’s career has been unpredictable. Two films on his resumé are often regarded the best in their respective genres, while others have been called “the worst movie of all time”. So as we celebrate M. Night Shyamalan’s birthday, let’s break it down by ranking his filmography! NOTE: I’m not including his first two films since they are so small and not really genre-driven. Also watch out for spoilers, duh. It’s a Shyamalan list.

  10. The Last Airbender (2010)

      Oof, this thing is bad. I’d say not by coincidence, Shyamalan’s only non-original property ends up at the bottom of the list. Some will say because of the white-washing, some will say the wonky 3D effects, but I say it boils down to not following the source material. Shyamalan claimed to be a big fan of the show, but character and plot inconsistencies in the film seem to say otherwise. Don’t agree? That’s absolutely fine. Let us here all about it in the comments below!

    9. After Earth (2013)

  �� Ironically, the word on the street is that Will Smith convinced Shyamalan to do this movie when texting him on his birthday. BE ON ALERT TODAY SHYAMALAN! After Earth is a particular low point because after this, the world was wondering if M. Night had anything left in him. He had a string of underwhelming films leading up to this one and After Earth is the equivalent of a very long sigh. There is just no energy or life in this film, with a twist that doesn’t help since he pretty much recycled it from The Village. BUT! A twist none the less. And who doesn’t like a 3rd act twist??

    8. Lady in the Water (2006)

    It’s hard to defend a movie involving a “Narf” named Story looking for The Author while trying to get home and avoid being killed by a Scrunt (yes, that is indeed the real plot), but I give this movie a little more slack than others. Some call it Shyamalan’s most pretentious and self-indulgent film, I call it ambition. Which is always respectable, even if it doesn’t fully execute because at least he was definitely trying to tell an interesting story. Also, Paul Giamatti was pretty solid as usual.

    7. The Happening (2008)

    The Happening isn’t exactly what one would call a “good movie”, however: it’s a very fun movie. Sporting a low 14% score on Rotten Tomatoes, the only critics that seemed to enjoy this film viewed it as a B-Film, almost a “so bad it’s good” movie. So if you think of it that way and buy into the idea of Mark Wahlberg as a scientist trying to survive killer plants, you can easily have a great time watching this movie. Invite some friends and crack open a few beers for optimal viewing!

    6. Signs (2002)

    At the time of release, Signs was pretty well received. Lately, it’s been the subject of debate to whether it hold up or not, specifically the “twist”. But all in all, Signs is a pretty good movie. I loved the idea of telling a family drama with the added element of aliens. The film is also a masterclass in suspense, with multiple scenes that keep you on the edge of your seat. The scene showing the birthday party footage of the alien still gives me chills just thinking about it.

    5. The Village (2004)

    I guess this is my controversial ranking for this list. When people complain about The Village, it’s literally only criticism of the twist. The whole time we are invested in the monsters surrounding the woods, it turned out to be The Elders doing it to convince the villagers to stay in and not discover we were in present times the whole time. To me, that’s terrifying in itself and I also commend Shyamalan on convincing the audience we were watching a period piece. The film also features a fantastic score, fun creature designs (even if they were fake), and a supremely eerie trailer.

    4. The Visit (2015)

    May be a bit high for this one, but seeing this in theaters was an absolute blast. Not sure if it was from the low expectations I had going in or the effective use of found footage, but The Visit is just good ol’ creepy fun. We saw M. Night go back to his roots, where he had to get inventive to overcome the small budget. Some theories even speculate that the film was satire of himself and his career to an extent. Loved the premise and the movie is filled with genuinely unsettling moments, including one involving an old person diaper. The Visit was a return to form for Shyamalan, even easing up on his usual twist ending (it’s not even a twist, really).

    3. The Sixth Sense (1999)

    Probably gonna get some flack for the placement of (debatably) Shyamalan’s best film, but I still appreciate The Sixth Sense immensely. This movie not only blasted off M. Night’s career, it would be the one to make his name synonymous with plot twists. And though it’s almost become a meme, it can’t be understated how monumental this movie was to cinema in the way he pulled off the twist. Only reason it’s at #3 is because past the second or third viewing, you’re not nearly as invested in the film because the twist really did change the scope of the entire film (In my opinion). The Sixth Sense is still fantastic th

ough, held together by a tight script and Oscar-nominated performances from Haley Joel Osment and Toni Collette.

    2. Unbreakable (2000)

    Another film that could be argued as his best, especially for reasons I’ll get to in a second, Unbreakable is one of the most unique of all his films. Coming out the same year as X-Men and 8 years before Iron Man really kicked off the superhero craze, Shyamalan broke into the comic book movie genre with one of his own. Even more fascinating, was disguising it and grounding it in reality. It’s not even til the final 15 minutes that you discover what you’re actually watching. Unbreakable creates an interesting world, with top notch performances from Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson, respectively. Shyamalan tapped into what it really means to be a hero and overcoming adversity, something he would have to do himself many years later. Luckily, Shymalan would do just that when he eventually returned to this world…

    1. Split (2017)

      Are you shocked to see this movie at #1? Just like you were surprised at the end of Split to find out it was a secret sequel to Unbreakable? Probably so! Not the fan favorite for the top spot, but it’s definitely the film that got you back on board with Shyamalan if The Visit didn’t do so already. Even before the twist, I already loved everything about Split. Anchored by a powerhouse performance by James McAvoy, the movie is intense thriller filled to the brim with tension.

The premise behind getting kidnapped by someone with 23 personalities was already horrifying, but then what the hell is The Beast!? Split keeps you guessing the entire film until you figure out what’s going on, but then the reveal just takes it to entirely new level. On top of that, this movie probably has the best production of any of his previous films. The dread-filled score and cinematography complimented Shyamalan’s story nicely. Top to bottom, a great piece of horror. I remember feeling so proud that after years of defending him, M. Night Shyamalan was officially back and created a cinematic universe right under our noses. But it’s still not his best contribution to cinema…

  What!? This isn’t the end of the list!!!

  In 1999, the same year Shyamalan was soaring to new heights with the success of The Sixth Sense, M. Night was secretly working on another project that would go on to shape a generation…Stuart Little. Before he was a household name, Shyamalan served as a ghostwriter on a few projects in the late 90s. Yes, that’s right, M. Night Shyamalan co-wrote the movie that would spawn 2 sequels, an animated series, and the career of Jonathan Lipnicki. Sure he wasn’t around around for any later installments, but Shyamalan’s contributions laid the foundation to the franchise that would momentarily steal the hearts of America. This was an achievement for Shyamalan, being a ghost and writing a successful family film. It not only broke the stigma around ghostwriters, but reanimated Shyamalan back to life so he could have a successful directing career. Which, if you think about it, makes M. Night Shyamalan a zombie. Boom, you’ve just been Shyamalaned!

    There you have it people, my ranking of M. Night Shyamalan’s films. I can’t wait so see where Glass ends up on here. But enough about my list, what about you? How do you rank his filmography? Does the fact that he’s a zombie change your list? Tell us living un-dead folks here at Nightmare on Film Street your rankings on Twitter or our super cool Facebook group!

    The post Pioneer of the Plot Twist: Ranking M. Night Shyamalan’s 10 Best Films On His Birthday appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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