#because he has DID... that logic follows through (this is sarcasm)

[austinslounge]

This is gonna be a little longer, because I wanna try a different approach….wish me luck 🤞🏽

According to those of you who believe Austin is with…checks notes…Alice, Emrata, Kendall, Madelyn, Zoe or Sydney there has to be something going on there because he….checks notes again….followed them and/or has good chemistry with them. Oh we can’t forget, Deuxmoi & shitty gossip blogs told us, so adding all that together *apparently* equals Austin has a girlfriend, or many.…..

Well if we use this same logic, then Austin’s gotta be dating Ashley Tisdale. I mean they follow each other! Have amazing chemistry! And they have spent a lot of time together over the years! I mean Ashley even posts Austin!!!! They’re totally dating! And he’s also got a thing with Riley Keough going on! They’ve got real deep connections!!! He’s also probably hooked up with Léa Seydoux, I mean did you see their chemistry in Dune?!? Oh and can’t forget Jodie! I hear they’re already planning the wedding! Which I really can’t believe because that means he’s cheating on Janelle Monáe! *please feel all the sarcasm as it leaks from my body into the phone and through your screen* Are we seeing how damn dumb that sounds? How foolishly insane that all is?

Austin’s known Emrata for yearsss. They may not be the best of friends or even all that close, but they ran in the same circles during their Nick days and they run in the same circles now…sorta kinda. He’s known Sydney for yearrsss! I’m not even gonna get into Zoe again, I’m letting that woman rest. I’m not even gonna entertain that, because it’s just past acceptable now. I’m not even gonna sugarcoat this, but I see Austin begging for redacted back and signing his career over to her before he dates a Jenner or a Kardashian….feels like I don’t even need to explain that one lmfaoo. Deuxmoi aka the person responsible for the rumor, cleared it up, Madelyn was never around or with Austin. Alice….ykw? Y’all can go to wonderland with this one and take the edited photos & be articles with ya!

He’s just started making his return to social media and already some of y’all are looking for ways to fuck it up for everybody. Maybe, he’s following these women back, because he’s on the app more, trying to figure it out, since yk he’s not all that used to it? Maybe he’s doing it, because he’s no longer in a relationship and it can’t be seen as disrespectful to his relationship, because unlike the witch from Hansel & Gretel he actually respects people and boundaries. I know for sure when he got on instagram to be normal!!!, he wasn’t expecting his “fans” to turn around and make something so minuscule, this major.

He isn’t in a relationship!! But if he was, some of y’all are really proving why he should stay private and hide shit from the public. Y’all got me worried for the next girlfriend 😬

I get it. Boyfriend Austin is a beautiful concept. Dreaming of being by his side, who hasn’t, but taking it to the point where you’re forcing him into relationships with every woman he comes across so you can then project onto her isn’t okay. I feel like we beat around this bush too much, but let’s be frank. The reason a lot of people push for Austin in a relationship or supported him in a shitty one is so that they could vicariously live out that dream. Which honestly him being single should make the fantasy/dream better no? Or is it the relationship that does it for you?…..honestly don’t wanna know, it’ll only lead to more questions 😭🤚🏽

I’m not gonna judge anybody for how they get through their day, but I am gonna judge you if you take it to the point of harassing people, making them uncomfortable, or outright bullying.

Like I said, I get it. Fantasizing about Austin, what a time! Love it when he makes an appearance in my dreams! 🤣 But are there not better ways to enjoy those fantasies, that doesn’t involve shipping and arranging the lives of real life people as if they’re playable characters in a video game? Write a fic?….make a request?….try DR? (is that what it’s call?) idk shit, but please please please stop trying to force these ideas down our throats! And learn how to differentiate fiction from reality.

And I’ve said this before, don’t mind saying it again. Austin’s single and that’s what he wants! Him being single is fine! He knows what’s best for himself, when he’s ready for another relationship he’ll get one and we’ll know when he’s ready, not when little tinfoil hat theories wake us up in the middle of a daydream. If you can’t just simply support Austin, single or not, he doesn’t need your “support as a fan”. You’ve gotta stop running to Deuxmoi to try and gets your opinions validated. You’ve gotta stop going to every blog and saying the same shit hoping somebody’s gonna feed into it. Don’t treat Austin like a human Ken Doll!! There is more to him than boyfriend material!

He’s filming a movie right now….do you care about that?

Do you say anything about caught stealing other than your AustinxZoe fanfic?

Were you not happy seeing Austin at Cannes? Hearing about his performance in Eddington?

Does his career not spark more interest than his love life?

Idk about y’all, but I’m kinda over this “who is Austin Butler dating” thing. He’s more than a significant other. I’m more interested in the fact that after so long he’s exactly where he dreamed of being. I think making your dreams come true is way more exciting and important than your relationship status, unless your dream is your relationship status lol. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, we honestly don’t care as long as she actually cares about him and makes him happy. We don’t care if she’s his age, older, a little younger. We don’t care if she’s brown, yellow, green, or blue. We don’t care if she’s a nepobaby or rich or a regular girl. We only care about AUSTIN!!! That man could date himself and as long as he’s happy and healthy his real fans will support it.

@unicoo Girl, you did it again! Lol 😆

I couldn't have said it better myself. I agree with everything you said. 💯

I agree with you, there is so much more to Austin than just who he is dating! And yes, to me the fantasy is better when he's single rofl. 🤭

Sadly, I think that some fans only get excited about an actor when he's in a relationship so that they can self-insert themselves in. It's really weird, but that's the impression I'm getting.

I think that maybe the Anon might look like Sydney, and wants Austin to be dating Sydney so much so that she can live vicariously through her. (Lol notice what I did there? 😏)

In all seriousness though, fans need to stop with the obsessing. It's going to make things weird for him, and we don't want him to get uncomfortable and start treating fans like they have the plague. Do you really want that for him?

He's probably already kind of weirded out by fans even caring about his love life like that (if we're going to go by what the WOTP (Woman on the Plane) claimed during her conversation with him lol.

Like you said, I don't care who he dates, as long as it's someone who's kind, genuine, treats him well, and he's smitten with her. I don't care if she's a nepobaby as long as she's talented, isn't a clout-chaser, and isn't using Austin for personal gain. I don't care the race, size, age etc as long as she's age appropriate and mature-minded.

Anyway, I hope fans really read what you had to say because it is so on the mark.

[mermaidxatxheart]

Take a Seat

Pairing: Will Miller x Reader

Word Count: 1816

Warnings: oral, female receiving, sex in an office, Will is a menace. Probably swearing bc when have I not?

A/N: this is for @rayslittlekitten because they asked so nicely for face sitting 😂 it follows These Moments, but it’s not necessary to read both together unless you want to.

Will is bored. You are sitting at your desk and he’s lying on the couch, waiting for you to pay attention to him. It’s not like you can’t stop what you’re doing. It’s not like he doesn’t have a perfectly good face that you can be sitting on right now.

Fuck it. He’s gonna make you pay attention to him. He gets up, his big frame unfolding with a small groan and he comes over to stand behind you.

Of course, you know he’s there. The man is 6’1 of solid muscle and sarcasm. He’s kind of hard to miss. But you have reports to finish and budgets, and schedules, and-

Oh.

His thumbs press into the flesh of your shoulders, squeezing in just that perfect way that makes you want to actually moan out loud. He drags them up to the base of your skull and your head drops forward with zero resistance. The man is amazing with his hands, you can’t complain at all. He repeats the motion, over and over, working out the tension in your muscles, keeping you upright even though all you want to do now is slump over on your desk.

His big hands trail around to the front of your throat, gently cupping your chin and tilting your head backwards to look at him through half lidded eyes.

“Why do you always make me work for your attention?” He asks quietly and you let out a soft chuckle.

“If I just gave it to you, you’d be bored. You told me yourself that you like to earn what you get. I’m just helping you out.”

“Is that so?” He traces your bottom lip, pulling it down slightly. He can’t help but grin down at you. You are in no way tough, but he likes to let you think you are.

“Yeah.” You lick your lips, catching the pad of his thumb.

“You’re too tense. You need to relax.” He says abruptly, spinning your chair around to face him.

“I have work to do, William. I can’t just drop everything and go get a massage.” You sigh but he kneels in front of you, ignoring your words. “Will,”

“You don’t need to go get a massage. You’ve got me.” He says easily and tugs at your leggings.

“What? No.” You swat at his hands, glancing at the windows looking out over the gym floor.

“We’ve been up here for two hours and not a single person has come looking for you. No one is gonna walk in. I think they forgot you’re here.” He says, and despite his words being so calm and logical, your heart is racing. But… not in a bad way?

“Will-“ you hesitate, the only thing really holding you back is the fear of getting caught. His thick fingers hook into the band of your leggings and you lift your hips mutely, allowing him to pull them off.

“Good girl.” He praises and you roll your eyes. You don’t want that to work on you, but coming from his mouth? His mouth that knows how to take you apart cell by cell? It works. And he knows it.

He peels your leggings off, tossing them over his shoulder. He guides your legs apart, draping them over the arms of your office chair. “Scoot down, gorgeous. Really open up for me.” He smirks up at you and you can’t help the blush that creeps up your cheeks. “Bet Man-Bun never did this to you.” He mutters and you curl your fingers into his blond hair, pulling a little roughly, tilting his head back to look at you.

“For the last time, Miller. I’m not fucking Teddy. You demand too much of my attention.” You tell him and you can see the exact moment he shifts. His blue eyes disappear as his pupils widen, his lips part in a puff, the tips of his ears get pink and his fingers tighten on your thighs. You let go of his hair almost immediately, thinking that you hurt him for a second.

“Sorry, Will, that was rough.” You start. He grabs your wrist and places it back on his head.

“What if I said I liked it?” He offers and you blink, fingers curling into his hair automatically.

“You think you know a guy.” You whisper and he grins. You pull, guiding him towards his original target. “Better hurry up, I have paperwork.” You tell him and he gives a sloppy salute before nipping at your inner thigh.

Yeah right, like you’ve ever been able to think after he has his way with you. You won’t be walking again for a while after he’s done.

“Shirt off.” He orders, licking a slow solid stripe up your center. You rush to pull it off, adding it to your pile of pants. “Good girl.” He praises and then starts to tease you.

Slow licks at your entrance, your clit, back down, around, wiggling your clit in circles. All of it adds to the coil forming low in your belly, but none of it is enough to get you anywhere. You try grinding your cunt on his face but he just moves. You pull his hair and he obliges with a solid flick or two of his tongue on your clit, but he’s having too much fun teasing you.

“W-Will,” you moan and he looks up at you with his pretty eyes, all of his attention on you. He always gives you 200% of his attention and focus.

He latches onto your clit, sliding two fingers inside you and curling them forward, knowing every inch of your body inside and out. You gasp, rolling your hips and your leg slips off the arm of the chair. You struggle to lift it back up and he parts from you, making you groan in frustration.

“Relax. I’m nowhere near done.” He chuckles and picks you up over his shoulder. It’s embarrassing how easily he manhandles you, and how much you like it. He presses a kiss to your hip, squeezing your ass and giving it a little slap. He brings you over to the couch and sets you on the floor. He lays down, getting comfy. “Take a seat. Your throne awaits.” He grins and you roll your eyes, glancing at the open door to your office. “No one’s coming up here.” He reminds you, tugging on your wrist. He helps you climb on, settling you right over his mouth. “God, you’re gorgeous. Hands on the wall, honey. You remember.” He sighs, pulling you down to his waiting lips. He picks right back up where he left off, still driving you crazy.

You have one hand in his hair, riding his face slowly, feeling all the angles changing, and the other is against the wall, bracing yourself, holding on. He takes his time, drinking from you as you begin to drip for him. You can’t stop the whines and moans as he eases you so frustratingly gently towards that hill.

It dawns on you that he’s making sure all your attention is on him. You drop your gaze to the man between your thighs, his blue eyes on you. He winks, rewarding you with a blinding suction on your clit just for a few seconds. Combined with his slow and steady fingering of your g-spot and you skyrocket, but then he’s back to licking you slowly, teasing you.

“W-Will, please?” You plead, rocking your hips faster. But he doesn’t oblige, instead, he slows down and you whine pathetically. “Y-you’re so mean.” You pout, but you don’t take your eyes off him. He maintains that slow and steady pace, the way only Will would be able to. His self control is unrivaled.

You try, god you try to restrain yourself, too. But you’re desperate, he’s too good, he knows you too well, knows intimately every button he needs to push.

“W-Will, please, baby I’ll do anything.” You beg and it takes him a second to pull his torturous mouth off you.

“Anything?” He repeats.

“Anything!” You promise, delirious.

“Go on a date with me.” He says and you blink.

“What?”

“A date. With me.”

“You’re extorting me for a date by withholding orgasms?” You groan and he chuckles. It vibrates through your cunt, sending his breath skittering over your clit.

“If that’s how you want to look at it. Or, I’m convincing you with how well I eat your pussy.” He teases. “Earning that date, if you will.”

He does do it really well.

A date would be a serious step for your… situationship, but are you ready?

He flicks your clit with his tongue every couple of seconds, keeping you engaged and remembering why you should say yes.

“Fine. A date.” You say, and his lips attach around your clit. You don’t feel mad about it. You guys have been heading in this direction since you found out Teddy flirting with you made him jealous.

All thoughts are pushed out of your head as he starts to eat you out in earnest, his tongue sliding over your entrance, gathering up your juices and slurping it down. You want to look away, anywhere but at him. He’s so intense, eyes never leaving your face as he devours you. But you can’t. You can almost hear him saying ‘eyes on me, darlin’ and that just makes you wetter. Something changes in the way he’s tasting you. It becomes softer, tender almost, but even more urgent.

He loves you.

You can feel it. Maybe you had an idea about it the last time he fucked you in your office, but now, here, with him under you like this? You realize he hasn’t stripped. He doesn’t plan on getting anything back from you. He just wants to give you pleasure.

His hand on your hip pulls you tighter to him, suffocating him. Your hand eases on his hair, stroking it back softly.

He loves you.

He might not be ready to say it yet, but you feel it.

He pushes you over the edge, sending you off with a vibrating hum and your body goes rigid, locking into place as you cum, holding onto his head and the wall.

“Hey, Will, you still up here-“ his brother Benny calls, barging in and stopping dead in the doorway. “Shit! Sorry!” He calls as you scramble to get off Will. He bolts, slamming the door behind him.

You glare down at the man between your thighs as he laughs.

“Okay, no one important will come up here.” He amends.

“You Miller boys are the worst.” You sigh and he laughs, pulling you back onto the couch, laying you out on top of him.

“We do what we can.” He says, rubbing gently up and down your back. “Now about that date.” He grins and you bury your face in his chest.

[cl0wnedren]

despair's verdict

damon maitsu x reader

words: 3.5k

🙂

The halls lay in silence.

Another trial had passed.

Despair crept into every mind.

—

You watched another classmate die; Desmond Hall, the Ultimate Marksman executed in front of everybody. You never expected him to kill; no one did.

All of you walked into the elevator, leaving the trial grounds behind. You wanted to cry so bad. Kick a table, maybe.

The stress of the killing game, the relentless pressure, the constant murders—it made you feel nauseous. Nothing could make you feel better. Not a hug, not empty reassurances of "everything's going to be okay". Nothing.

You didn't notice Damon looking at you with a slight bit of concern. It's not common for him to have a bit of concern, empathy, or sadness; he's the very judgmental person everyone saw him as.

The elevator ride was suffocating. No one spoke. The only sounds audible were the faint hum of machinery and the occasional, uneasy shuffle of feet.

You kept your eyes on the floor, hands clenched into fists at your sides. Every trial felt like a worse trip to hell than the last, but this one...Desmond's execution replayed in your mind like a broken record, the look in his eyes when it happened, his body hitting the ground.

A sharp inhale beside you made you glance up. Damon. He's still watching you.

"What?" You muttered, your voice hoarse.

He hesitated. "Nothing."

Of course. Typical. You scoffed and looked away. Damon wasn’t the type to comfort anyone, least of all you. You weren’t even sure he had a heart beneath that cold, scrutinizing gaze.

But then, barely above a whisper, he spoke again.

“You look like you’re about to collapse.”

You stiffened. No sarcasm. No judgment. Just a statement of fact.

“I’m fine.” You weren’t. But admitting weakness felt dangerous.

Damon didn’t push, but he didn’t look away either. His eyes stayed on you, unreadable. For a moment, you almost wished he’d just say something cutting, something cruel—at least that would be normal. Instead, he simply sighed and turned back toward the elevator doors.

Finally, the doors slid open. The trial was over. But the weight in your chest remained.

And you weren’t sure how much more of it you could take.

You barely registered walking to your room, the exhaustion settling deep in your bones. Your vision blurred at the edges, and your mind wouldn’t stop replaying Desmond’s last moments.

You weren’t sure when Damon started following you, but when you reached your door and turned the handle, his voice cut through the haze.

“You’re not fine.”

You sighed, gripping the doorknob tighter. “I don’t need this right now, Damon.”

“That’s exactly why you do.” His tone was sharp, but not unkind. “You’re unraveling. If you keep bottling this up, you’re going to snap. And in this game, breaking down means dying.”

You clenched your jaw. “So what? You’re here to argue me out of my emotions?”

“No,” he said simply. “I’m here because no one else is going to say the right thing.”

You turned to him, tired and frustrated. “Then go ahead, Mr. Debater. Convince me to feel better.”

Damon sighed, stepping inside before you could slam the door in his face. He crossed his arms, eyes scanning you like you were a puzzle missing half its pieces. “You feel like hell because Desmond’s death doesn’t make sense. He killed, and you don’t know why. You keep asking yourself if you missed something—if there was a sign, a way to stop it.”

Your throat tightened. “He wasn’t supposed to be like that.”

“No one ever is.” Damon sat on the edge of your bed, tapping his fingers against his knee. “But let’s break this down logically. You think Desmond’s actions were unpredictable. That’s false. Everyone has a motive, even if we don’t see it. If you were in his place, what would’ve pushed you to kill?”

You shook your head. “That doesn’t make it easier.”

“It never does,” he admitted. “But it gives you control. The game wants you to lose yourself in emotion. It wants you to stop thinking, to spiral into despair. That’s how people end up dead.”

He let that sink in before continuing, softer this time.

“But you’re not going to let it win.”

Something in his voice made you pause. He wasn’t just debating for the sake of winning. He was trying to keep you standing.

You sat down beside him, burying your face in your hands. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Damon exhaled. For once, he didn’t try to argue. Instead, he leaned back on his palms, staring at the ceiling. “Then don’t do it alone.”

The silence between you wasn’t heavy this time. It was... steady. Grounding.

Maybe he wasn’t the best at comfort. Maybe his words weren’t gentle.

But for once, they were exactly what you needed.

—

i can finally go rest and get motivation for another 3 months

[werewolf-art004]

SHIPPING DEEP DIVE-Part 1: Percabeth!

QUICK DISCLAIMER: Please read my pinned post about the rules I have for this series! It explains a lot off the bat as well as personal rules I have for ships I support and why I may not talk about a certain ship. ALSO THERE WILL BE HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE CHARACTERS AND SERIES DISCUSSED RELATING TO THE SHIP. PLEASE LEAVE IF THAT CONCERNS YOU!

For starters I wanted to talk about possibly the first ship I remember supporting heavily: Percabeth (The ship between Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase). Starting around middle school when I started reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.

Very quickly, yes this kinda breaks my second rule of no characters of minor age. But let me explain: I didn’t really ship the two until I read Battle of the Labyrinth and/or Last Olympian. By then they were 15/16. Which while not technically of age feels more age appropriate to start shipping two characters. Also Percy and Annabeth themselves referred to each other as a couple so I feel okay doing so as well.

ANYWAYS the ship itself…Maybe it’s nostalgia for being my one of my first, but it may be one of my favorites as well. (Recent ships definitely top it but that doesn’t diminish my love for Percabeth) I feel like it has all the grounds for what makes a good relationship between two characters, making it a good start for this series. I should start with a “short” analysis of each individual character.

First we have Percy Jackson, the protagonist and POV character. He is the son of Poseidon god of the sea. For those unfamiliar with Percy as a character, he is so charismatic and lovable. I feel like even people who may hate sarcastic characters would like Percy because he is so deep and funny. His narration makes the original five books for me. It’s why they are so fun to read. It’s so sarcastic and self aware it’s perfect! And this applies to Percy as well. He is so witty and yet self-deprecating at times that it strikes a good balance. It also helps keep his obvious over-powered and plot armor role from being unbelievable or cliché. His POV makes it clear his successes aren’t just luck for protagonist sake. And that’s IF he succeeds. He fails often and hard. Again, adding to his like ability. He is a loser who counters with wit and sarcasm in all scenarios. It’s amazing and literally never gets old!

Annabeth Chase…Where to I start?! Can I just say…I LOVE HER! She honestly might have been one of my first fictional crushes. She is just AMAZING! Plus seeing her through Percy’s first person view helped me fall in love with her as he did—but I’m getting ahead of myself. To oversimplify her character, she is the smart one of the main trio. As a child of Athena goddess of wisdom and battle strategy that makes sense. Which leads into what makes her special! She is logical and brainy. Unlike some “brains of the group” characters, Annabeth isn’t just there for exposition (though she does do that in the early books) she is the main plan maker. Her entire deal is strategy! It makes her interesting to follow. She starts off as a bit stand-offish and trying to prove herself. But as the books go on we and Percy start to see the layers underneath. We see why she is like that. We see why she wants to be that way. It’s so compelling to read and experience each time! She wants to be an architect to build a lasting legacy and get her mom’s approval. She has Hubris (excessive pride). And this might be her most interesting trait! It connects to all her vulnerabilities and strengths. She’s someone who tries desperately to control everything but still fails and needs others to help her. LIKE PERCY!

Getting into the actual Percabeth ship, I believe fully that Percy and Annabeth are the ideal example of how a ship should complement each individual character. Percabeth is the perfect balancing act of two different characters. Percy the impulsive and emotional type, and Annabeth the logical and semi-solitary type. Annabeth offers Percy logic and missing information he needs to get through quests. While Percy provides Annabeth emotional support and an outlet to let go and be herself (with minimal judgement). But even with this balance, one trait isn’t exclusive to one character. There are plenty of times the roles get reversed, with Percy offering a plan and knowledge to Annabeth, and Annabeth giving Percy the emotional support and safe outlet. That’s what makes it the perfect pairing. The equal balance. It’s not one sided or even a one way functional exchange. Even their Fatal Flaws complement each other. Percy’s being blind loyalty and Annabeth’s being excessive pride. The two flaws almost cancel out each other. Percy’s loyalty doesn’t allow him to let Annabeth tire herself out or go at things alone. He HAS be help her and make sure she doesn’t go too far. Annabeth’s pride helps keep Percy in line so he doesn’t do the same and risk his life for loyalty. Both characters are too stubborn to let the other perish. Which is another aspect I love! SPOILERS! But the two literally would rather fall into Hell(Tartarus) than be separated. It’s so touching and intense. Credit to Rick Riordan but he is a master at making readers care for the characters. Entirely because each and every character has so much depth to them. Each trait works together perfectly. And no character seems perfect, they’re all flawed! Like real people! But the flaws also don’t make the characters worse or depressing to follow. He keeps it light either way humor and other traits/characters to keep things balanced. All of this mastery perfectly encapsulated by Percabeth.

Percabeth is an important ship to me as it really was the gateway to what makes a perfect and healthy relationship. Both characters are perfectly balanced and unified. It gave me a basis for judging future ships I’ve come across and as I write my own OCs with ships of their own. Percabeth is a master class in character balance and unconditional love that is tested again and again, yet always comes through stronger.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Bad Ideas Part 11

Regulus Black au

Summary:  It started as nothing now it’s something. Voldemort has been defeated but that doesn’t mean the wizarding world is still a good place to be.

Link to Part 10 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Warnings: Smut

______

“How about we make some noise to make everyone uncomfortable?”

Everyone downstairs sat awkwardly. Neither James nor Lily could even look at each other. This was the LAST thing that they ever expected! They expected to come back to their children still being “children” not fully grown adults with their own lives.

Remus groaned before getting up and going to find some whiskey. Sirius turned his attention to James before wincing at the expression on his friend’s face.

“I would say welcome back but I don’t think you would enjoy that.”

James scowled at Sirius before running a hand through his hair.

“Who was supposed to be watching her? Did no one see this happen and say Regulus stop?”

Remus turned back to his best friend with that parental look of contempt that he wore so well.

“They must have done it on a shift change when Sirius and I couldn’t see anything.”

“No time for sarcasm, Remus.”

James snapped. Remus sat back down and stared at James for a moment before speaking.

“James, Lily…whether the two of you like it or not, Y/n is a grown woman. While Sirius and I weren’t thrilled with Y/n and Regulus becoming a couple…it really wasn’t our place to tell her to stop either.”

James turned to Sirius.

“You are being awfully quiet in this! Where were you? We made you to be the godfather for a reason.”

Sirius held his hands up.

“Mate, I don’t want to get into this.”

“Too bad, you are already in this.”

James hissed. Sirius was silent for a moment before speaking.

“I wasn’t thrilled by it. Ask Remus. I may have ran off to the train station like a madman to try and stop them from running off to France together. That definitely wasn’t my best look but…you know what, I’m just going to say it…Y/n does what she wants. I know you don’t like it and hell I don’t like it but Regulus and Y/n are good as a couple. He treats her like a princess. It's better than some horny hyped up on muggle Viagra with a duffle bag of porn in his closet.”

James immediately groaned.

“I do not want to think about what your brother has in his closet.”

Remus gave James a parental look of contempt.

“You are making this worse than it is. Now why don’t you go get some rest? I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Lily immediately stood with a gentle expression on her face. She decided that she would speak to James about this more logically when he wasn’t in the middle of a freak-out.

“I think Remus is right, dear. We do need to get some rest.”

James grumbled before following Lily upstairs for a sleepless night of worry.

The next morning, James went downstairs feeling even more exhausted than when he went to bed. Sleep did not find him in a pleasant place. His already crappy mood got even worse the moment that he spotted Regulus sitting at the table reading.

The shithead is just sitting there like it's nothing…I ought to wipe that smug look off of his face.

James thought as Regulus’ eyes rolled up to meet his.

“I know you’re there. Are you just going to stare at me for the rest of eternity because that will be annoying.”

James scowled.

“Where is Y/n? I want to talk to her…not you.”

Regulus rolled his eyes before going back to the newspaper.

“She has this thing called a job. I know it's a new concept for you but that’s where she is.”

James took a breath, trying to fight the urge to punch Regulus. He knew that it would be a bad thing to do but he desperately wanted to wipe that smug expression off of Regulus’ face so badly.

“I’m surprised that you let her work. I figured that you would keep her locked up in this haunted house.”

Regulus’ grey eyes rolled up again.

“Let her? I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. I don’t let her do anything. She’s a grown woman and can do what she wants. This isn’t the stone age.”

Regulus snorted.

“Let her, that’s funny, Potter. That daughter of yours doesn’t do a damn thing that she doesn’t want to do. I can tell her not to do something until I’m blue in the face and she will still do whatever it is. There is also this thing called a healthy relationship where I can tell her that I don’t like something and if I’m lucky she will listen to me. She likes her job as a doctor. It doesn’t matter if we have enough money where she doesn’t have to work, she wants to. If she wants to tend to gross nasty sickly people then that is her choice. It's better than having her sitting here going all psycho like my mother.”

James blinked a few times before scratching his head.

“So, you don’t order her around?”

“No, Potter. I do not order your precious little daughter around. Now would you get over yourself before I have to punch you in the face?”

Sirius stepped into the room before quickly turning to edge out. The last thing that he really wanted was to get into the James vs Regulus grudge match of the season.

“Sirius, don’t leave.”

Regulus commented as Sirius turned around with a frown on his face.

“But I’m doing something.”

Sirius grumbled.

“What are you doing? You look lost.”

Regulus replied as Sirius dropped into the chair on the other side of the table. He couldn’t blame his older brother for not wanting to get into this mess. Regulus didn’t want to be in on it himself either. He would much rather James just shut up and face reality. That didn’t seem like it would happen, however.

“I was…I was watching a dinosaur movie?”

Sirius commented quickly.

“Jurassic Park, again?”

Regulus questioned. He didn’t know how bitter or annoyed with James he had to be in order to be interested in Sirius’ day.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sirius quickly replied. Regulus nodded before going to idly look at the article on the Malfoys he had been reading.

“And your feelings on this? You have watched this movie fifty times.”

Regulus was banking on Sirius going on a tangent and when he did Regulus couldn’t be more relived.

“Okay, so …you mean to tell me that this joker scientist found every species of dinosaur in tree sap? Did they all get stuck in the great sapalanche of a million BC?”

Both Regulus and James turned to look at Sirius as if mentally wondering why they bothered with him.

“Sapalanche? That isn’t even a word.”

Regulus grumbled. There was sometimes Regulus couldn't help but wonder how he hadn't murdered his brother years ago?

“It's the point though. You can’t tell me that there isn’t anything that you enjoyed about that movie.”

Sirius commented. Regulus smirked.

“The lawyer being eaten by the T-rex was neat.”

James rolled his eyes for the millionth time before deciding to come into the conversation. He didn’t know why he was bothering but it seemed like the thing to do.

“And you’re who Y/n chose to spend her life with?”

Regulus batted his eyes with a snarky little grin.

“Yes, get used to it. It was me or the Longbottom twit. I can start listing the reason why she loves me however a lot of them aren’t safe for your precious little ears.”

James immediately started shaking his head.

“Just stop, Black!”

Sirius hung his head and contemplated putting his hands over his ears.

“Yeah, stop, Reg. I don’t need to be hearing this either. I’m changing the subject. So, I have this scaly patch on my elbow. Do you think it's anything serious?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before resuming his cool stoic demeanor.

“As a matter of fact, Y/n was doing a paper on scaly patches. It's a serious problem and you may have to have your arm amputated. I would definitely have that looked at before we have to call you stumpy.”

Sirius sat motionless for a few moments before getting up and running out of the room. James turned back to Regulus with a frown.

“That was mean.”

Regulus leaned back in his chair.

“What do you know about scaly patches? Didn’t your parents die from Dragon Pox?”

When James stormed out of the room, Regulus couldn’t help but be relieved.

“I should have said that from moment one. I am really losing my touch.”

Later that afternoon, you stepped into Grimmauld Place reading a pamphlet that had been given to you. A set of arms immediately wrapped around your waist.

“I never thought you would come home.”

Regulus sighed against your mouth. You stood on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

“Did you miss me that much?”

“You have no idea. I have been stuck with that brother of mine and your annoying ass father.

Something told you that this was going to be the reality that you would have to get used to.

“You didn’t hurt them, did you?”

“Not really…but I….”

“Y/N!”

Regulus was interrupted by Sirius as he came into the room holding his arm pathetically. You turned to face your godfather with a raised eyebrow.

“What did you do?”

Sirius winced.

“I have this scaly patch on my arm and I don’t want it to fall off!”

You frowned before turning to glance at Remus who was rolling his eyes. Turning back to Sirius, you took a breath wondering how Remus remained so calm in the face of utter chaos.

“It isn’t going to fall off. Let me see.”

Sirius held out his arm as you began to examine it.

“This is only dry skin. You should put some lotion or something on it. Wait, who the hell told you that it was going to….wait never mind.”

You gave Regulus a scowl. This was a Regulus Black comment.

“I can’t help it that he walked right into it.”

Sirius continued to examine the place with a skeptical frown.

“Are you sure?”

You gave Sirius an exasperated sigh before motioning to your scrubs.

“Do you think that I dress like a doctor for the hell out of it?”

Remus stood up, having enough of the stupidity himself. He had told Sirius multiple times that it was dry skin but the other man didn’t believe him.

“See, I told you. Now come on, it's dinner time and everyone is waiting. Everyone is here and we are keeping them waiting.”

Regulus slightly sighed in frustration. The last thing that he wanted was to spend a delightful dinner from hell with mummy and daddy Potter glaring at him the whole evening.

“How much longer will these Tuesday night dinners be going on? Since Voldemort is dead, I thought we would all see less of each other.”

Regulus questioned. Wrapping your hand around his, you gave your boyfriend a small shrug,

“Let's just make the best of it.”

You too had no interest in sitting through a long dinner. After a long day, you wanted nothing more than to drag Regulus into a hot bath or be alone. Entertaining was the last thing that you wanted to do.

Stepping into the dining room, Lily and James immediately looked up at you. As much as you wanted to say that you had made some progress in accepting the fact that your parents were back, you hadn’t. Things still felt awkward and completely out of place.

Part of you was still bitter at their less-than-stellar reactions to the news of your relationship with Regulus. The other half understood. It had to be awkward as hell to suddenly come back from being dead to the reality that your children were grown up.

Taking your place beside Regulus, neither of you moved to say a word to the others as everyone gleefully talked about their day. You reached out for a roll and began to butter it.

“Can one of us fake a seizure to get out of here?”

Regulus whispered. He was relieved when you smiled. Regulus wasn’t crazy. He knew how uncomfortable you were with your parents. Instead of being happy that you had grown into a successful woman they immediately started judging your life choices. That had to be a big letdown.

It was a major letdown…

Regulus thought before focusing his attention on your face. It didn’t take him being in love with you to know your feelings. One look at your face told him everything that needed to know. Regulus could only hope that his rant directed at the Potters would make some kind of difference. As much as he hated repeating himself, Regulus would go off on James and Lily as many times as he had to in order to protect you.

Reaching down, Regulus wrapped his hand around yours and squeezed. Whatever he had to do to keep you happy and healthy would be done. You would always be worth whatever work that he had to put forward.

Meanwhile, across the table, Lily focused her attention on you. Despite the rather ugly introduction, she hoped that she could somehow make a successful mother/daughter relationship with you.

“Y/n, you have never said what you do at the hospital.”

Lily started. You looked up with a frown.

“Currently I am having Alice Longbottom follow me around trying to shove bubblegum wrappers in my hair. I’m supposed to be working in surgery or emergency but I got stuck in the memory care wing.”

Lily tried to give you an encouraging smile. She automatically picked up on your sense of disdain.

“I’m sure it's because they think that you are very capable and can help the Longbottoms in some way.”

You snorted.

“Sure…they have a lot of faith in me alright. I didn’t sign up for this.”

Sirius grinned automatically.

“You could always go back to work for Kinglsey again. He is always muttering about how bad his secretary is.”

Remus gave Sirius a displeased expression.

“She didn’t go to be a healer school just to be a secretary. I’m sure things will get better soon, y/n. They probably just want to test you in other areas.”

You sighed.

“But I want to put bloody bludgeoned people back together… I don’t want to play nursemaid.”

James immediately put his bite of food down at the bloody bludgeoned people comment. Remus and Regulus, however, were smirking. James had to wonder which one she got that from. The answer was definitely debatable.

“Give me a week and you can put me back together.”

Remus commented. You gave him a thumbs-up before standing up.

“This had been fun. I’m going for a bath.”

You patted Regulus’ shoulder before moving to go out of the room.

“Y/n, wait.”

You turned as you reached the first step. Lily quickly walked out of the dining room with a nervous expression on her face.

“I know that we didn’t really get off to a good start yesterday but I really do want to get to know you. You are my daughter, after all, and you deserve a family. I know that you have one but your father and I want to be part of it. Would you consider possibly going to lunch alone with me tomorrow?”

As much as you wanted to hiss like a cat and run away, you decided not to. Lily seemed so genuine and sweet that you really didn’t want to hurt her. You really had no interest in going to lunch so quickly. In fact, you were expecting a few small chats that would eventually lead up to an outing but here you were. Something told you that you would have no moment of peace until you gave in.

“You should give them a chance. I know that the meeting wasn’t ideal but your parents really are good people. I also have full confidence that they love you.”

Remus’ words from earlier that morning came rushing back to you. He had called you before starting work simply to check in.

Taking a breath, you meet your mother’s eyes with a forced smile.

“Uh…okay. That will be…nice.”

Lily immediately smiled, looking beyond thrilled.

“Wonderful! I am so excited!”

_______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @fific7 @justfinishthis @mimisparkle12 @criminalyetminimal @iluvthe-marauders @woohoney @abaker74 @regulus-black-223048 @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @goldendustwoman @littleshadow17 @livshifts @ell0ra-br3kk3r @stelleduarte @jsjcue @bxcndd @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @f4iryluvy @s-we-e-t-t-ea @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @buttercup-beeee @i-love-scott-mccall @panpride @bennyberry @gugggu6gvai @quinis @haroldpotterson @mentally-unstable-hoe @daddyslittlevillain @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @melaninnbarbie @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @untoldshortsofthefandoms @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @li0nh34rt @tas898 @padf00ts-l0ver @un-lovesherself 

[beaconfeels]

Talk shop Tuesday!

I have to ask bc I’m obsessed - what’s your thought process/how do you perceive and build your Stargent dynamics??

Oh Lucky my sweet human, I’m going to admit immediately that a very large chunk of my brain thinks this is just a call-out ask to make me admit I have no process. I know you wouldn’t do that, but also it would be very warranted if you did, just sayin.

So many people in this fandom, yourself included, have carefully delved into canon to explore and expand on characters in wonderfully logical ways and I am just over here like “head empty only vibes.”

However, I will try to put some words to the vibes. I think in the simplest terms, I’m drawn to them because I feel like they’re opposites that play off each other in ways I enjoy. The similarity between them of course, is that they’re both very traumatized people who have been through a lot of pain, but for me the intriguing juxtaposition is in how their various traumas and bad home lives played out in their lives and what that turned them into.

Chris to me reads as very disciplined. He has such a soldier mentality that he was willing to kill his wife when she was turned because that’s what it had been ingrained in him to do. Chris might not abide by every law, but he is a rule follower.

Then there’s Stiles-breaks into the evidence locker-Stilinski, who has never met a rule he didn’t want to defy. Like his home life, and his beautiful ADHD brain, he’s full of chaos and impulsive decisions.

Chris has a psychic weight to him. His sadness and trauma weigh him down, but he’s also grounded by his principles and what he believes about the world.

Stiles, even in the face of so much pain, has remained wonderfully incorrigible. He’s shredded his trauma with his sharp edges and shoved it down under a layer of sarcasm and mild threats to end people’s lives every ten seconds.

I think Stiles needs to be more grounded, and Chris needs to lighten up, and they give that to each other (in my head. Not in the show) I think they’re also two people who need more care in their lives, and they can give that to each other too.

Also, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I dunno why, but when I think about these two in my head, I can just see them being SO in love. Because Chris would torture himself about loving Stiles, but once he gave in he would be GONE because Stiles is stupid lovable when he wants to be, and he would make Chris laugh, which he desperately needs. I mean obviously in the few fics I’ve written for them it’s silly how sappy they are, but it makes me SO HAPPY. The show puts these two through hell, and I like putting them in cozy houses where they’re ridiculously in love and Chris calls Stiles “baby” a lot.

TL;DR I just think they’re neat and I want them to be happy and have lots of hot sex

[denwenai]

Breaking down Aziraphale's decision.

This is not a theory, all the information below comes from what we've seen in the show. I want to write down my thoughts so I can come to a conclusion about what drove Aziraphale to take that decision in the final episode. I firmly believe he did it consciously, and I'll go through his previous behaviours and knowledge to better understand why this decision is on character.

Disclaimer: it will probably get messy or reiterative sometimes. This is because I'm not a linear thinker and I keep coming back to previous paragraphs to add more stuff without checking if it keeps making sense as a whole.

Part One: He still needs Heaven.

I'll start with the current status of his relationship with Heaven, and how he feels about God and the other angels.

Aziraphale doesn't let it show, but he was struggling with how things ended with Heaven after S1. On a surface level, he makes it look like he's fine with it, but even with Crowley on his side, he's still programmed to respond to Heaven. That's his nature.

We've seen them actively working together through the years, and they're closer now, which makes sense for us because we know they're all each other has after S1. They're both against Heaven and Hell, they're on their own team. So it makes sense to assume that Aziraphale is ok with this situation. Heaven rejected him, he doesn't agree with Heaven either, but at least he's got someone who understands him. Everything worked out, everything is great.

But the truth is Aziraphale is not ok with this. It's evident when you look at some little details. Like how since he's not reporting to Heaven anymore, when he talks to Crowley he tells him the latest stuff he's been up to.

Or when Crowley ironically tells him he did a good job over the phone and Aziraphale gets all flustered and replies oh, do you really think so? He's genuinely craving positive rewards. Under other circumstances, he might have caught up with the sarcasm, but he subconsciously took it literally because that's something he actually needs to hear. He wants his efforts to be acknowledged.

After S1's arrangement, Heaven closed a door on him without actively punishing him. It's like a silent treatment because they still consider him an angel but don't give him orders or expect him to report back. They just don't want him anymore. And that was the ideal solution for Crowley with Hell. But Aziraphale needs Heaven because that relationship is what originally gave purpose to his existence. I don't think he's being vocal about it the way Crowley is, but neither seems to have a purpose now. Although they both deal with it differently. Aziraphale's solution was what I mentioned before, using Crowley as a figure to report back to. It's merely symbolic because Crowley isn't giving him orders or expecting him to do anything, and he's not his superior in any way. Also, Aziraphale apparently just talks to him about everything he does; everything is potentially a report. The mechanics are the same, so it helps Aziraphale ease his mind. On the other hand, this situation makes him expect feedback from Crowley, just as it would've happened with the angels. The Pavlovian logic here is: he reports, he gets feedback. That's why he takes comments like the good job one as compliments, especially if he just told Crowley what he's been up to.

This system is as good as it gets, at least while being an off-the-grid angel. And Aziraphale is very aware of this, that's why he accepts his fate and goes on with this. Reporting his daily activities to Crowley is not ideal, but it's good enough for him to trick his mind into believing he's following his usual angel routine, and that's comforting enough.

It's also important to consider that his issue with Heaven was different than Crowley's issue with both Heaven and Hell. Crowley doesn't agree with either, and he doesn't need to feel like he belongs somewhere. But Aziraphale needs to feel like he belongs, and he genuinely believes in Heaven being the good guys; that's why he feels contradicted when he sees the questionable things they do. Still, even though he might not agree with the means, he cares about the ends. God's plan is ineffable, after all. We could say, then, that he's on good terms with God, he just happens to disagree with how things get done. And since he won't ever dare to think that God does bad stuff on purpose, he assumes everything he doesn't like about Heaven is the management's fault. You can't question God, but you can disagree with Gabriel, Michael, Uriel and any other angel.

Part Two: Assumptions about Crowley's desires.

There's something we can tell about them and it's that they never really talked about how Crowley feels about the fall. We've heard Crowley goes along with Hell as far as he can, but that's just it. He never told Aziraphale if he regrets falling, or if he'd like to come back to Heaven. And if he did, we know he probably wouldn't say it out loud. Aziraphale knows this too. So we'll work with what Aziraphale knows to figure out what he assumes Crowley feels about being a fallen angel.

Aziraphale met Crowley before the beginning, and it was the most joyful he's ever seen him. Crowley was full of optimism and illusion. He loved his star factory. He felt fulfilled with this job.

After he fell, Crowley still loved the stars he helped create. He even wanted to go to Alpha Centauri if things went wrong on Earth (which we know is basically Aziraphale & Crowley's favourite place). This is important because it means he isn't resentful about his creations. He still loves his work in Heaven. For Aziraphale, this could mean Crowley doesn't hate fully Heaven, because he likes some of the stuff he created under Heaven's direction.

Crowley's been redundant about not agreeing with Hell either. Aziraphale doesn't care that it also means he doesn't agree with Heaven. For him, it's enough to know that Crowley isn't really on Hell's side. He still doesn't understand that Crowley is on his own, because for him that's lonely, and since he has this strong need for belonging -as I stated in part one- he figures Crowley has it too, and he would rather be with one group or the other rather than alone.

If Crowley isn't on Hell's side, it means that he's not evil. If he's not evil but he doesn't agree with Heaven, then it's because he's got the same problem as Aziraphale. He's got a problem with the management. So, if these angels leave, if they're not the ones giving orders, then it might be ok.

Aziraphale sees falling as the worst thing that could ever happen to an angel. This is evident when we see his reaction after lying about Job's children. He feels guilty, he thinks it's over. Just listen to the pain in his voice when he says he's a demon now. He doesn't want to be a demon; this is his worst nightmare. And again, he assumes Crowley feels the same. Because they were both angels, they must feel the same about falling. He doesn't get that Crowley doesn't care.

Even if he believed Crowley is ok with being a demon -which we can assume he doesn't-, he still knows that Crowley actually feels lonely. And that's enough for him to think that Crowley would be better being back in Heaven, because he wouldn't be alone anymore. Because he'd be with other angels, and because he'd be with him too.

Aziraphale takes all this into account and figures that Crowley feels lonely and would secretly like to be an angel again, as long as the angels in charge change and the system is fixed. This way, he could come back to creating nebulas, he could be happy and fulfilled again.

You could come back to Heaven and everything. Like the old times. Only, even nicer.

He's basically saying: you can come back and do the things you used to love. But now it will be better because I'll be in charge and I won't destroy your creations after 6 thousand years. I'll be in charge and you won't be lonely anymore, because we'll be together and there will be more angels, so you'll never be alone. I'll be in charge but you'll have a say, an opinion; I won't punish you for asking questions, and there will be a suggestion box. Everything you think is wrong with the system, I'll fix it.

Part Three: His reasoning

Imagine you've been rejected by Heaven. They don't seem to need you anymore, but you desperately want them to need you because that's what you've been taught. That's been your purpose since the beginning. That's all you ever learnt, and that's the only feeling you were allowed to have; that you must serve a higher purpose and you're worthless if you fail on your assigned tasks.

So you play pretend, you replicate what you used to do for Heaven because you can't do it anymore. Your superiors don't like you, and you know they will never change their mind. And to be honest, you didn't like them that much either; at least by the end you changed your mind about them, because of how they treated you.

But you still believe in that higher purpose. And you still believe the actual boss is on the right and knows what they're doing. Your problem is with the people in between. Everything you don't like about how Heaven gets things done is probably their fault.

Imagine now that this person you still believe in tells you your superiors are useless and they want you in charge instead, because they believe you can fix stuff. Suddenly your feelings are validated. Not only because God also thinks there's stuff that needs to be fixed, but because if they think you're the one for the job, then it means you've been right all along. Every time you doubted God wouldn't like the way things were getting done, you were right. Every time people told you "that's how God wants it, that's their plan", they were wrong. And you get the chance to be in charge, which means you can fix everything that's wrong with the current system. You won't be an outcast anymore and you'll still have your routine of following orders, only that now these orders come directly from God -the only authority you truly believe in- and not from the people that hurt and discredited you.

Plus, you get the chance to make things better for the person you love. And you don't know if he really wants that because you don't ever talk about it. But you would feel so bad if you were in his place, you'd like to be restored as an angel if you were him, so you assume he wants that too, even if he doesn't admit it.

So this opportunity is the best deal ever. You're accepted back in Heaven, the people you don't like aren't in charge anymore, God validates your concerns, says you were right all along & you're the only one that can fix things; you get to make things right for the one you love. Everything is perfect.

Why would you say no? You really believe your partner will say yes; because you firmly believe he's been secretly desiring to be back, to be an angel, to create more stars, and to be with you.

Part Four: His true intentions

Aziraphale isn't being selfish, he's actually thinking about Crowley's well-being when taking this decision.

We know Aziraphale never wanted power. He just wants that little corner in London where he can be around people and books. That's why his first reaction is saying no. He doesn't want to leave his bookshop, his life on Earth.

But he also wants Crowley to be happy and safe. After all, he's his only friend. That's why the offering of restoring Crowley's angelic status changes everything. Because Aziraphale really believes that's what Crowley would like. That's why he comes back excited with the best news.

And it's not that he prefers Crowley to be an angel. He loves Crowley regardless; he always has and always will. And he just found out about Gabriel and Beelzebub. So, he knows they can be together without the need for Crowley being an angel or him being a demon. And they've been together for a while now, neither Hell nor Heaven care about it anymore. So, it's not like he wants to turn Crowley into an angel so they can be together. He wants to help Crowley because he thinks that's what Crowley secretly wants.

Aziraphale's willing to leave his life on Earth for Crowley; he's willing to assume as a leader -something he never wanted- for Crowley. He's willing to fix the entire system for Crowley. You're against Heaven because you don't like how they work? But you surely want to come back to create your stars. Then I'll change the system for you, so you can come back safely, so no one will bother you.

There's this ambiguous dialogue that's been given different interpretations, even between Crowley and Aziraphale. But I think it's clear evidence of Aziraphale's intentions.

You can't leave this bookshop.

It's not just about the bookshop, and they both know it. The bookshop symbolizes Earth. People. Humanity. And everything they love about it. But the meaning of this phrase is different for each of them.

For Crowley, who knows how much Aziraphale loves Earth and people, it's a way of making him aware. You'll lose everything you love, angel, you don't want to do this.

For Aziraphale, it's Crowley's way of saying I appreciate what you're doing for me, I want what you're offering me, but you're risking something you love and I don't want you to. Crowley doesn't want him to make that sacrifice, but he longs for the results.

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever.

For Crowley, this means I changed my mind. I love Earth, and I love what we have, but I want to go now. It's been fun being just us. But it's over. I'm done being an outcast. I want to go back to Heaven.

For Aziraphale, it means I love Earth, but I also love you. And if you need me to leave my life on Earth so you get your angel status restored, then I'll do it. I wasn't supposed to have a humanized life anyway, it wasn't supposed to last this long. So it's fine if it ends now, if it is for you.

This is why Aziraphale doesn't understand it when Crowley rejects him anyway. That's why he desperately tells him I need you. Because it's not that he just wants to go and rule Heaven and make it a better place. He wants to go with Crowley, and to make it a better place for him. Aziraphale doesn't get how Crowley doesn't accept if he's offering to restructure Heaven for him.

Part Five: The consequences

The problem is that this is not what Crowley wants. So he rejects the offer. But Aziraphale is confused because he didn't expect this reaction at all. And when Metatron comes back, he's so in shock that he doesn't know what to say. He already compromised because he assumed what Crowley's response would be.

He still loves Heaven. And he believes in God's plan. And if God thinks he's the one who can make things right, then it's his responsibility to live up to those expectations. Aziraphale finds comfort in following God's orders; we already know that. This wasn't just about giving Crowley what Aziraphale thought he wanted. This was also about finally returning to his routine, to fulfil his purpose. This was supposed to benefit both of them. So, imagine Aziraphale's surprise when he sees this is something only he wants. He thought he was doing something for Crowley too, but Crowley didn't like the idea at all. But Aziraphale has a responsibility now, Heaven and God are counting on him. He can't turn back now, it's already too late.

Then we see the way he looks outside the window, distractedly saying nothing I can think of. How he takes his time before he decides to follow Metatron. How he reunites courage -but not enough- and says I think I... nothing at all.

And Crowley knew Aziraphale thought it was the best for both of them. That's why when he went out, he still waited outside the shop instead of leaving (like he did after Gabriel's arrival). He was waiting for Aziraphale to realise the implications of his proposal; he was confident he would understand. That's why it hurt so much when Aziraphale looked at him one last time before getting into the lift.

[au-drayton-shenanigans]

//ooc Screenshots :)

Note that some of my commentary will be made of sarcasm. Rudeness towards the characters as an unserious funny.

Some of my commentary might also reveal things about the au people I may not have mentioned before so I guess yall can look forward to probably small pieces of lore.

First death! One of the silly jokingly worded ones. Off to a good start

Second death was the same one. Funny when that happens

If two things of interest happen back to back they'll both be in the same screenshot to reduce the amount of images. 30 per post is the limit iirc. Might get to do multiple reblogs if things get bonkers enough :3

Third death is ambiguously in-character. Sting would absolutely eat a grenade, but not to entertain notyarD. And notyarD would have to be tricked into thinking it's funny. It's still great XD

Woe shaking a rock at Volo is funny it's like. He didn't want to bring his book into the game, but he wanted to shake something at Volo and a rock was a fine substitute.

Not going to be making note of every death event. Sometimes they're boring. Unlike what happens to Geo in the following image.

1 Cloak could be lying. Or he might not be. We'll never know. 2 I think Nightmare would run after Atomic. Not to try and get his share of the gear, but because he thinks Atomic saw something worth running from and they need to skedaddle rapidly. 3 Can we get an f in the chat for Geo?

Imagined Fish going like "what? no. I'm not a cheater. If you want to leave the game just log out. i want to win the game fair and square"

1 One of the jokingly worded death messages. 2 Draystermon questioning Grusha's sanity. 3 What did Hop do to you people?

Both of these are in-character

First round's half finished. That means it's time to show eliminated players. I guess I'll show who's dead for the first game only(I'm assuming I'll be playing this thing multiple times today) to show off how their death images look because plenty of them have more than just a black and white version of their default picture. I can't screenshot the whole page at once though so I'll edit them together and it won't be pretty.

Without further ado, here are the losing losers who lost in round 1. Off to the game lobby with you clowns. Watch the rest of the game or log out. Nobody cares (/silly)

Ough. Triple death. Murph, you monster :]

1 We all know that is not why he screamed 2 Such skill. Draycula is definitely disappointed.

First day of round 2!

1 They scared Nightmare into a flight or fight response and got the 1% chance of fight mode. 2 They absolutely used strategy here. Sending notyarD in as the distraction and probably taking out Plague first with him being the most logical and tech-smart (biggest threat to other players) in that little trio there. 3 Ambushes are so popular this round!

Nothing particularly interesting to note of this one by itself, but I misread food as blood and I don't remember all what I put in here and was ready to say "yeah, he can do that" before I read it again and it wasn't as funny

Very in-character way for Wizard to be distracted from the game. Bug enjoyer. Bet he's baby-talking to the fake bug made of polygons like nobody's watching. I love Wizard for that.

Next batch of losers. This one's edited better than the previous one because I felt like it :3 So many. Night of round 1 through day of round 2 have been so eventful :] Everyone in the lobby had such a show to watch

Idiot

That earlier ambush attempt broke Nightmare and I'm choosing to imagine the next event is directly related to the first in this screenshot.

This one isn't a death message he just dropped a surprise hug :)

"Game devs" didn't have time to make the ducks look any better but this is an "all ducks are cute ducks even if they're shaped weird" zone

Stupidity entertains the stupid. I'm with stupid (or I am stupid as well depending on who you ask). This is funny.

That text is taken from Minecraft because it's funny.

"Ha! He can't find any water!"

I put a few events in that reference-ish previous events or point out-ish next events. They can be reallly good when they end up next to certain events.

Things were mostly peaceful this time but Drayton is definitely getting laughed at by folks in the lobby.

Yeah Nightmare is broken. He's too freaked out to remember it's a game. Kill them before they kill me mentality.

He didn't have it in him to go for the kill. That's not how to play the game, Larry.

Ominous

First thing in the morning?????

Nightmare came to his senses while trying to fight Amarys and is realllllly sorry meanwhile Amarys is trying to gently remind this poor fool it's only a game and he doesn't need to be sorry

This simulator thingy does so much for the imagination :D

This is so sad :(

Howl would definitely be teasing Draycula for being the next to lose and Draycula would then be teasing Howl for losing before him

I hope this happens when I get my spore creature au Drayton into things

I hit the image limit. So I'll be moving to a next post. Stay tuned for that if ya want

//ooc Probably going to come in with some really silly pictures soon because I remembered that hunger games simulator exists

I have my old one still saved from last time I played this with all its silly settings but I decided to put all the newer au Draytons in. (Unless I forgot any of them)

I don't care about teams for the most part. Mainly just stuck them in as I got to them. There's like. some sorting. but I mostly just put people wherever. Doesn't really affect gameplay as far as I can tell. Sometimes just looks neat.

Although now while making this post I want to put the 3 chaotic space cows (Reaper, Taur, and Starburst) together.

Geo from Mega Man Star Force has been there for so long I can't remember ever not having him in this thing. But at this point it's too funny to me. I won't be removing him unless I get anymore "priority blorbos" or perhaps when I get more Draytons to put in because boy do I have more than what's on the blog, I just. have not drawn them :3 (15 unmentioned, not drawn sillies currently. The list could grow at any time.)

I would miss Geo though. He doesn't do as much for the happy chemicals as he used to when my old Mega Man hyperfixation was the main thing, but broken humor for the win

If yall took notice at the use of the words "pvp" or "virtual reality fight", I removed the killing aspect of this thing. I mean there are still death messages and stuff but it's more treated like a video game and instead of dying they're sent to some virtual lobby sort of place where they can watch the rest of the game.

I imagine they all have something like a cross between magic vr headsets and something like the scanners on Code Lyoko to play the game.

The game's also "buggy" sometimes and by that I mean some of the "deaths" I added are "from the game having lag". Another death I added is for a "player" to "log out of the game". Can't rejoin a pvp battle mid-game after all. If you leave to go get dinner or something, you're a loser /joke

Those are just a few.

Anyways, fun stuff. I will likely be sending favorite moments here

[shoechoe]

this is what so much diavolo analysis/theorizing is like i swear

[angel-ixily]

Tao’s Torment

Pairings: None (Platonic) x gn!Reader

Pronouns: They/Them

POV: First Person

Fandom: Heartstopper

Warnings: Language, heavy sarcasm

Summary: A movie night at Tao’s is always an interesting scenario. Joking around and sarcasm is always a must when dealing with Tao’s specific taste in movies.

Movie nights at Tao's were always the worst. He wouldn't let us watch anything interesting like Marvel, Game of Thrones, Supernatural, or even some good ole Disney movie.

He'd end up making us watch some weird movie about how James Bond saved the world with curriculum and the logic of League of Legends. That's what it felt like we were watching anyway.

We watched Deadpool once, which is the greatest movie of all time, and the only thing he did was shit on it. The entire time!

"Yeah, Ryan Reynolds is a good actor, but what is the point of the movie? I don't see the big deal!"

"Tao come here."

"No. Why?"

"Tao, I said come here."

"No, you're gonna hit me!"

But nonetheless, it was just one of the things that made our little friend group special. Even if Tao hated Ryan Reynolds because Elle simped over him more than Tao, it was always a fun time.

Today, though, we didn't let Tao pick the movie.

I picked it...which was a bad idea because we have entirely different tastes.

Charlie and I arrived at Tao's house at around the same time. The both of us, which were extremely late by 20 minutes, were for sure going to be shit on by Tao. That in itself was destined to be set in stone.

We knocked on the door, almost in sync. Instead of Tao's mother greeting us with her usual warm smile and the offer of tea, Tao slammed the door open, glaring at us.

"You two are 20 minutes late!"

"Were you just waiting by the door until we knocked?"

Tao was silent for a moment, thinking about Charlie's claim. "I... that's beside the point. You guys are both 20 minutes late. Y/N, you literally live two houses away!" Tao exclaimed. His hands were on his hips, standing in a mom pose.

"I wanted to be fashionably late," I gestured to my outfit. "And here I am!" I lightly pushed past Tao to get into the house. Charlie chuckled, following me in. We took off our shoes at the front door and Elle came down the stairs, wrapping her arms around me happily. I hugged back.

"I'm so glad that you're here!" She exclaimed excitedly, pulling away and hugging Charlie. I turned to Tao and put my arms out in a hug gesture. A nagging smirk on my face.

"Huh?" I teased him.

"You. Are. Spiteful." He seethed. I placed a hand over my heart, faking my offense.

"Oh, golly gee! Just because I'm picking the movie for the night doesn't mean you have to get your panties in a twist." I sassed. Tao tried hiding his smile, rolling his eyes.

His mom rounded the corner at the commotion and smiled brightly once she saw me and Charlie. "Oh Y/N! Charlie! I didn't know you guys were coming, today!" She greeted. Charlie and I put our attention to her.

"I didn't really know we were coming over either, ma'am." Charlie replied. He gave a smile to Tao before giving his attention back to his mom.

"Oh, well I'm glad you guys did! If you need anything at all just come right down and ask me, alright?" She offered. We gave her our thanks before Tao pushed us all upstairs. Isaac was sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He smiled once he caught sight of us.

"You know Tao, I love your mom." I announced. "Is she married?" I asked him. Elle snorted.

"Ha ha, very funny Y/N. You've known her since we were babies. Yes, she's married!" He argued. I put my hands up in defense.

"Listen Tao, listen. Freedom of speech, okay?" I reminded him. His mouth formed into a wide O; his eyes dead. he didn't speak for a moment. He was probably wondering how he had made friends with such a dumbass.

"What do you think this is? America?" He asked me. He just stared at me for a little longer before shaking his head. "Let's just...let's just get this over with. What terrible movie do you have in mind for us to watch?" He asked, tired of my bullshit.

I scoffed. "How dare you assume that my movie choices are terrible. Personally, I think they're top tier, must watch, films." I defended. One of my hands were up sassily, while my eyes were closed to look like I was offended. Tao rolled his eyes.

"We're going to be watching Harry Potter!" I admitted. Elle gasped excitedly, Charlie nodded in approval, Isaac gave a thumbs up, and Tao groaned.

"Out of all the movies...that one? I would have preferred to watch My Little Pony!" Tao complained. I turned to Charlie, raising an eyebrow.

"If you would have wanted to watch My Little Pony...My Little Pony it is than!" Charlie compromised. Tao's eyes went wide with regret as Charlie leaned for the remote. Tao stopped him.

"No! No! No! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!" He exclaimed quickly. Elle laughed.

"Damn, Tao. You could have just said you wanted to watch Harry Potter." Isaac joked. Tao sighed.

"I get bullies too much by you guys..." He mumbled in defeat. i happily placed a hand on his shoulder.

"But you know that we love you." I spoke, the only kindness heard in my voice that you'd hear all day. I smiled up at him while he just gave me a look. I pat his shoulder before Isaac threw the remote at me.

I didn't catch it, but the floor did.

We all stared down at it. I nodded and picked it up, examining if it had any cracks or broken pieces.

"Good going, Y/N." Charlie said, sarcastically. He had a smile on his face. I smiled back to him.

"Oh, for sure! I should 100% join the Rugby team! Nick Nelson would welcome me in with open arms!" Nick Nelson would indeed not welcome me in with open arms. But at this point in time, Nick Nelson had no idea I existed. This was before his and Charlie's romance.

I faced the TV, turning it on. I scrolled past Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, and Peacock to get to HBO Max. I clicked it and we waited for it to load.

"Huh...almost like waiting for Tao's stubborn ass to-"

"Shut up."

"I love you, Tao."

"Ew! Go away."

HBO Max loaded, and I went to the search bar, looking up Harry Potter. As soon as I clicked H A R, it popped up and I clicked on Sorcerer's stone. We all got comfortable and began to watch the movie.

That silence and comfortability didn't last long.

"What houses are you guys in?" Isaac asked, I tore my eyes away from the movie.

"You do know that 'Hogwarts Houses' don't define you, right?" Tao asked. I cut him off before he could say anything.

"I'm a (Your House), Elle is a Hufflepuff, Charlie is a Hufflepuff, Isaac's a Ravenclaw, and Tao is a Slytherin." I said rather fast.

"I... what? Aren't Slytherins the bad guys?" He asked. I looked up to him.

"No. It's just that most Slytherins easily get manipulated and convinced to join dark sides because of how society views them." I explained to him. "They're not the bad guys, either. Just very stubborn and resourceful." I finished my statement. Tao grabbed his phone, probably to search up signs of a Slytherin.

We were quiet again, just watching the movie. That's until Tao spoke up again.

"The Hogwarts quiz says that I'm a Gryffindor, so HAH!" He laughed in my face, pointing his phone towards me. Elle looked concerned, amused, and confused.

"Did you just take a quiz to prove Y/N wrong?" She asked him, crossing her arms. Tao blushed, his face flushing.

"I do admit, I may have been wrong. But Tao does carry some traits of a Slytherin. You can search it up." I offered, not taking my eyes off of the movie.

The movie was almost over when Tao got up to pee. That's the excuse that he told us anyway. The movie ended and he still wasn't back. Charlie got up off of the floor, stretching. He was the first to notice Tao's disappearance.

"Didn't he say he was using the bathroom 23 minutes ago?" He asked as I had gotten up. I stretched.

"Mans is probably taking a dump or something." I assumed. Elle reached down to Tao's phone, which he left on the bed, to check the time. As soon as she tapped the phone, it opened, revealing a 'What Harry Potter character am I?' Quiz." I snorted, covering my face in my hands.

Never in my life would I think Tao would be the one to take these types of quizzes.

When Tao came back, he had 3 buckets of popcorn. He looked at the Tv. "Oh, it's over already?" He asked. He seemed fine until he looked at all of us, crowded over his phone, dying. "What are you guys doing?" He asked, placing down the popcorn.

"You're Animagus is a Blobfish?" Isaac asked, laughing. Again, Tao blushed. He quickly ran over and grabbed his phone, hiding it in his chest.

"I just wanted to check because they mentioned it in the movie." He defended himself shyly. I shook my head, a huge smile on my face.

"If you enjoyed the movie, you should have just said so. We could have made plans to watch the second one!" I proposed. Charlie looked over to me.

"It's only about 8:30. We still have time." He offered. I looked at Elle and Isaac, who nodded. I looked up at Tao.

"I guess. I mean, I made all this popcorn for nothing if we didn't watch another movie." He confided. I smiled.

"Awh so you do like the movies!" I exclaimed. Tao cringed.

"What? No! I just...I... just play the movie!" He said, sitting on the bed. He handed me and Charlie a bucket a popcorn, him, Elle, and Isaac a bucket. The third one was for refills.

"Ready to watch the movie, wand with kelpie hair, troll whiskers, and 3 hairs off of a unicorn?" I asked Tao teasingly.

"Shut up and put on the movie," Tao paused for a moment. "And stop looking through my phone!" He ordered. I played the movie.

"The day that I stop teasing you will be the day I stop going through your phone. And that won't happen until I'm dead." I joked around.

"Good thing I poisoned your popcorn..." He mumbled.

"What?" Charlie asked.

[perpetuallyexhaustedpeacock]

Good Omens Episode 2

Ok so first of all

...that first post blew up. Or at any rate it’s become more popular than any post I’ve ever made before so THANK YOU to my new followers and everyone who liked or reblogged it! 

I start the episode and the first people I see are Gabriel and Sandalphon- what an encouraging opening.

Also, forgot to mention yesterday but Aziraphale’s bookstore is a LOT bigger than I had imagined and I want to live there. 

Gabriel’s so friggin oblivious he has absolutely no idea what pornography is and I am cacklingggg

that side-eye from the other guy in the shop

“You can’t have a war without War” ah yes very clever. 

oooh I love Crowley’s flat. Wouldn’t want to live there, but it’s cool. 

the red-haired chick is War, isn’t she. Oh, yeah, here come the guns. 

I still don’t get the theme song, but I like the music

Agnes’ letter to the milk-man is so matter of fact

oh no, she cured people of diseases and thinks running is good for you, she must be a horrible satanic person

gonna be honest, this isn’t how I expected Agnes to look. I didn’t have a specific idea, mind you, this just isn’t it

well I wasn’t expecting THAT. I don’t think Mr. Adultery did either

pppft she wrote a prophecy about a phone company. Stocks 101 with Agnes Nutter. 

aaaand of course I haven’t been pronouncing Anathema right either. See kids, this is why you watch the show first. 

oohhhh cool, Agnes’ descendant and Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery’s descendant end up together. Hm. Well, at least I got Newton right. 

Oh Newton, you poor boy. Also Anathema’s hilarious and hot. 

whoa Anathema’s cottage is cute

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” How did they get the plants to tremble like that?

Poor Newton’s so confused and flusteredddd. I don’t like anyone that way but I just want to protect him. 

Now I’m starting to think Mr Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer might not have had that strange of a name for a witchhunter 

“You’ve lost the boy-” “WE’VE lost the boy.” “A-a child has been lost” nice use of the passive there

Did Brian just BITE his ice cream? Who BITES their ice cream?

I love the introductions, although Brian’s shirt and face are sending chills down my spine

Does this happen a lot? Aziraphale makes some grand speech on philosophy and theology and then Crowley just slices through it with logic?

pppft Anathema’s so concerned about their game she’s like “Inquisition? TORTURE?” and its a tire swing

She’s looking so hard for the AntiChrist and he’s right there 

That is a TERRIBLE parking job and as a permit-holder it is making me            c r i n g e 

He’s so obvious trying to get Crowley to get the stain off his coat 

Lol Norman with his tie around his- oh. Wait, no, I read about this, those guns don’t actually kill, right? ...right?

Right. Oh, he’s gonna call him nice, isn’t he? And then we’ll have the classic pinned-to-the-wall scene. 

“This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.” If that isn’t the truth... 

oh my god it would have broken her armmmmm also they act exACTly like an old married couple 

“Open thine eyes and read, foolish principalite, for thy cocoa doth grow cold” how very useful. No sarcasm here, for once. 

Literally I want Aziraphale to look that shocked all of the time it’s fanTAStic

Alright, that’s the end of Episode 2 and my ramblings which people seem (for some reason) to be interested in. The next post should probably be coming out sometime tomorrow. 

[space-mermaid-writing]

Okay I have no clue how and why no one has written this yet but can we get an IronStrange imagine where Superior Iron Man is in the Illuminati and Stephen sees him when they bring him to them and angst bc his Tony is dead and he sees the love of his life go darkside? No idea what to do about plot but I need that interaction.

OR OMG I THOUGHT OF THIS WHILE WRITING THAT BUT SINISTER STRANGE MEETS SUPERIOR IRON MAN? AND THEY HAVE THE HOTS FOR EACH OTHER? AND SPICE (if comfortable)? I know that's two prompts so you can just do whichever one is more interesting to you if you feel bombarded by this request my bad 😅

Thank youuuuu ❤😁

Summary: While Stephen is in the Illuminati‘s universe, he meets Superior Iron Man.

Ko-fi | Masterlist | Word count: 1.2k | Part 2

Chapter’s Notes: I‘m going with the first prompt, because inspiration struck and this was fun to write.

He didn't have time for this, Stephen thought while he was led before the Illuminati - what a ridiculous name, who had thought it up anyway?

Mordo introduced the member, but Stephen’s eyes darted to the empty chair on the far right. He wondered who was missing in this weird club. But the Illuminati demanded his attention and told him what had happened to the Stephen from this universe, how they had managed to defeat Thanos.

Okay, so apparently his variant had come up with that ridiculous name. Stephen was a little disappointed in him.

But Stephen didn't have time for this chitchat. He and America needed to get moving. The Scarlet Witch was on her way. He tried to reason with the Illuminati, he tried to warn them but they didn't listen. They were all too arrogant to believe the threat that was about to arrive.

His gaze kept wandering to the empty chair. He felt drawn to it, although he didn't know why.

Suddenly a shadow appeared at the large window behind the chairs of the Illuminati. Glass shattered as something broke through it. Cursing silently, Stephen first thought it was the Scarlet Witch, but then he heard the familiar sound of repulsors and he froze.

"A party and I didn't get invited?" Tony was hovering in the air, His suit in a silvery white instead of the flashy red and gold. His eyes - a bright chrome blue - were fixed on Stephen as he flew closer to him. Stephen's mind screamed danger.

Tony ignored the other people in the room, who were just a second away from attacking him. "I couldn't believe it when my data told me you're back. But my tech never makes a mistake."

Stephen just stared at Tony. His mind told him that if there were variants of each person in all universes, it was only logical that he would also meet a Tony Stark sooner or later. Yet he couldn't believe it. He had seen Tony die. His sweet precious Tony.

And this one here was nothing like him. His suit had no face plate, it didn't even cover his hair. It seemed more a part of the man than it ever did on his Tony. As if he was melted into his technology. His gaze was cold, calculating, and Stephen shivered but not in a good way.

Tony grabbed his jaw and eyed him closely. "But you're not him, are you?"

That was when Captain Carter spoke up. "You are no longer a member of the Illuminati, Stark! Leave."

Tony let Stephen go and finally acknowledged the others. "Now that you mention it... yeah, I remember something like that." Thinking, he tapped his finger against his chin, then clicked his fingers as it came to him. "That's right! I left when you decided to kill him." He spat furiously.

"You know what he did," Reed reminded him.

"He did what he had to do. And he saved all of your asses while at it."

So much was going through Stephen's mind. He tried to follow what happened, when he heard a loud crash from inside the building. All heads turned to the door.

"The witch arrived. I'm sure you can handle her just fine." Tony's voice was dripping from sarcasm. He seemed almost amused.

The Illuminati exchanged glances and Mordo decided to keep an eye on Strange and Stark while the others took care of the problem. He jumped down from the gallery as the others left and approached Strange. "I would have been fine with never seeing your face again. Bad enough I have to look at that hideous statue every day."

Mordos were all the same, Stephen thought, while he tried to infuriate him. With the other members of the Illuminati gone, he had a realistic chance to escape and continue his journey with America.

Except that Tony was faster and simply killed Mordo. He cut him in half without a warning. The lifeless body fell to the ground in front of Stephen and the sorcerer stared at Tony.

"I've wanted to do that for quite a while," Tony grinned and it was all teeth. "He dared to replace you in the Illuminati. You understand that I can't allow that." He stepped across the body to Stephen, who took a step back. "I'm curious. Tell me about your Tony."

"He sacrificed himself to defeat Thanos." The thought of it pierced Stephen's heart. "It was the only way," he whispered more to himself to sooth his nagging guilt.

"Tsk." Tony was displeased. "You let me die? I'm disappointed in you. You’re weak." With each step he took forward, Stephen backed away another. "If you were stronger, you would have found another solution." He raised his hand and his repulsor blast lit up, aimed directly at Stephen. The sorcerer raised his arms defensively. In the next moment his handcuffs fell off.

"They still have the audacity to use my tech." Grumbling, Tony turned away.

Sounds of battle and destruction could be heard from the lobby.

"The witch will kill them," Tony said as if he were talking about something trivial. "I wish I did it back on Titan. This is not as satisfying as I imagined it to be." He looked toward the door, as if considering going after them and getting his late revenge.

"Anthony," Stephen said softly and Tony's head snapped to him, his chrome blues eyes ice cold.

"Don't you dare to say that name like he did! Don't think you are my weak spot. I am superior."

"To who?"

Tony's laugh froze the blood in Stephen's veins. "To everyone," he said as if it were obvious. "He knew that. Oh, he was supreme. The only one who could kinda keep up with me." With his ideas. His ideals.

Stephen gritted his teeth. This was wrong. Tony Stark may was a douchebag but he was also a sweetheart, with a heart of gold. He was human. The Tony in front of him maybe looked like him, talked like him, but he wasn’t even remotely close to his lost love. The Tony in front of him was filled with a whole new level of arrogance - hubris seemed to be a constant in this universe. He was consumed by something dark, and Stephen was sure it had nothing to do with losing his Stephen Strange. This was deeper.

Stephen shook his head to focus. "You are a menace." He should have been frightened, but surprisingly he remained calm. Maybe because this day had been too long, and after all he'd seen today, this was just the tip of the iceberg. Or maybe it was because this was still Tony in a weird and twisted way, and even if it wasn't his Tony, he could mean something.

"You flirt just like him," Tony chuckled. "Say, what did you call me in your world?"

"I called him mine." It was the single most confident thing Stephen said today and he held Tony's gaze.

"Good." Tony seemed satisfied with the answer. "Maybe I'll pay you a visit when you're back home. If you make it there alive." It was a promise and a threat. Stephen shuddered. Tony flew backward toward the window. "Don't disappoint me, Stephen." With a wink, he threw him a kissing hand, and left.

Stephen stared after him. His mind tried to grasp everything that just happened. It had gone quiet in the building and a small, warning voice told him that he had to hurry. He had to get America and they needed to leave. He couldn't let Tony distract him. The first priority was to survive. If he managed to do that, he could worry about everything else.

Tony, meanwhile, flew through the city and called up the data his suit had just collected on his visor. He had made several scans of this Stephen. With that, it wouldn't be hard to track down his universe. The Illuminati didn't know that he still had full access to their database - he had access to every database in the world - and all known universes were categorized there.

Tony's day just went from good to great – he found a new toy to play with.

[thefanficmonster]

All The Colors

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Colorblindness, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: The colors are not always seen but rather felt. Just like Y/N feels the colors through their best friend and boyfriend Corpse. That’s how they realize that what they can’t see is the most beautiful and genuine feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing something and someone so deeply.

Requested by my dear friend Lulu, who you might have known as greenieofshield. Unfortunately she’ll never get to read this fic and I’ll never forgive myself for not putting it out sooner but I’ll also never forgive the universe for being so cruel as to take her away so early. She was one of the best people I’ve ever met, always so full of optimism, always there to brighten up my day and make me smile. Always so strong and brave, never falling victim to the hate she received despite not being deserving of it. The world lost an angel the day she died and I as well as so many other people will forever miss her.

Love you and miss you with my whole soul and hear, Lulu. Hope they’re treating you right in heaven ❤

For what it’s worth, Y/N has never asked people to describe the colors to them. In their eyes that seemed like the equivalent of poorly patching up a wound: they could hear thousands upon thousands of descriptions of each color and still wouldn’t be able to imagine it. The descriptions would only make that worse to them. So to avoid feeling even more like they’re missing out they never asked.

However, that doesn’t mean they haven’t developed their own way to ‘visualize’ and imagine colors throughout the years. They’ve tried loads of different methods, few of which stuck around and not for long either. That is exactly why they frequently used to tell their friends: “You can’t paint me a rainbow with black and white and shades of grey and expect me not to feel like I’m missing out on something. Paint me the gloomy sky on a rainy day and only then we’ll be even cause you’re seeing the same greys I am.”

Little did they know how drastically their logic was about to change in the following years.

Speaking of said following years - they met Corpse who became one of their best friends in practically no time. And within just a few months of that friendship’s blossoming, a romance sparked. A romance their friends would jokingly refer to as ‘romance of a lifetime’. Maybe it was said jokingly but Lord knows they weren’t wrong in saying so because the two were completely head over heels for one another -s till are to this day - and never shied away from showing it.

Y/N and Corpse met through Rae who Y/N was staying with while on a little vacation to Los Angeles. To be even more specific here, the two met through a game of Among Us, the game responsible for many wonderful friendships since its release.

“Guys, guys, guys.“ Y/N said after sparking up a bickering session for falsely accusing ‘blue‘ of faking a task in Navigation during the final round for the day, “Here’s a little rule of thumb for whenever we play together again: don’t trust me if I accuse a color instead of a name.“ It’s safe to say that statement rose a few eyebrows in the Discord call, the confusion serving as amusement to them before they explained themself, “Oh, why that is? Hm, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m colorblind.”

Rae who was in on the scheme the whole time and was struggling to hold in her laughter finally snapped while the rest of the players were left processing the information that had been dropped on them.

“But you practically kicked our ass every single round?!“ Corpse said, amazement and confusion in his tone.

“Expect the unexpected from this schemer, take it from someone who’s known them for a decade now.“ Rae said, winking at her friend from across the room. Not failing to notice the blush on their cheeks while doing so though.

“Corpse, are you calling me a good liar?“ They poked a stick at him teasingly, desperately avoiding Rae’s gaze which widened the second she realized why her friend was so flustered by Corpse’s remark.

“Practically a con artist.“ He replied to them with a laugh, earning one from them in return.

And so they practically conned him into falling in love with them with their quick wit, sarcasm and cuteness. If someone is to ask Corpse if he expected to fall for Y/N, he’d probably say yes.

“They were like a magnet the moment they entered the lobby and started talking.“ He said once on a live stream in response to a question he received in the chat regarding Y/N, “It wasn’t hard at all, falling for them. What took me a while was realizing it. While I was referring to them as ‘best friend’ all my friends were rolling their eyes and going ‘Sure, bud.’ Just took me a bit to realize why.”

Luckily, it didn’t take him too long to grasp what his heart was actually screaming at him. Good thing they came to terms with it so soon too, otherwise they would’ve driven their friends insane.

Anyway, enough about what happened and what could’ve happened under one circumstance or another, what matters is the ‘here and now’ of their relationship. And trust me when I say it has never been better and it keeps getting better every day.

The beauty of what those two have is in the tiny every day things that they do for each other, the good morning texts even though the other person in probably just in the kitchen making breakfast while the other cannot find it in them to get out of bed; or it’s laced within the calls between them when neither of them are home or at least one of them is out and about, busy with a task they’ve probably been putting off for far too long. Don’t get me wrong though, the romantic gestures aren’t rare either. Random gifts are exchanged by them on regular intervals but one consistent and super romantic gesture that repeats a few times every year (of the two years they’ve been dating) is Corpse giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers.

A detail Y/N couldn’t help but take notice of was the fact that the bouquet was always made up of the same flowers with only small changes to the arrangement of them and maybe some tiny ones added too. Unfortunately, they aren’t artificial so they couldn’t have kept them thought they wish they could’ve. That being said, it goes without saying that those flowers mean the world to Y/N, the gesture actually - they know flowers are a common gift to give but anything they receive from Corpse is so special and makes them feel like the only person who’s ever received such a gift.

And so they got curious, they had to ask. They had to ask the question they never thought they’d actively ask considering their view of the topic. But they still did.

“Hey Corpse.“ Y/N spoke up out of the blue, breaking the silence that had fallen over them while they watched the movie they were only partially interested in given how exhausted they both were from devoting themselves to their respective tasks and responsibilities throughout the last few days.

Corpse hummed in response, the arm wrapped around their waist doing a little motion as if encouraging them to continue, his gaze immediately traveling down to his partner.

“What color are the flowers?“ They asked, gazing at the bouquet - a gift they had received from him for their birthday a few days prior - in the vase on the dining table.

They waited a few seconds but when they didn’t hear nor feel any sort of response from him they couldn’t help but look up at him. Upon doing so, they saw his small smile as his eyes too remained on the bouquet. “They’re black and white.“ He replied eventually, “Black roses and white daffodils.“ His gaze wandered away from the vase and down to meet theirs, “I don’t want you to think I’m seeing them in their ‘full beauty’ while you only see them in black and white. You are seeing them in their full beauty and not missing out on anything. They are absolutely beautiful black and white as they are.“

As a response to his answer, Y/N couldn’t suppress the growing smile on their face no matter how hard they tried. So they didn’t try at all, they let the smile lighten up their face before speaking up: “You’re a wonder, Corpse.” They said, pushing themself as upright as they could to be able to kiss his cheek. “However, you’re wrong.” They say when they pull away, smirking up at his confused expression, “My world was black and white until you came into it. You’re all the colors, Corpse. Your love’s red, joy’s yellow, sadness blue, chaos green. Love red. You’re all the colors and out of all the people that have tried to describe to me how they look, you have managed to do that just perfectly without even trying.”

Little did they know that’s exactly what he thinks of them - their world is black and white because all the colors live within them. Because they are all the colors.

And maybe they both are, seeing as how they came into each other’s lives exactly like the rainbow after the pouring rain.

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[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

______________________________

Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

______________________________

Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 7 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren woke up with a pounding headache and no memory of having gone to bed.

This would not have been a surprise had he been at home, as his routine was blissfully static and required no thought whatsoever – each item he needed in its proper place, each movement mapped out through years of practice, his entire body trained such that he would automatically begin to go through the necessary acts at the appropriate time and would immediately begin to feel sleepy once he started the sequence – but it was highly notable that such a thing would occur while he was out of the Cloud Recesses, where each day’s sleep would only be the same in terms of the time at which he fell asleep.

In this case in particular, he also felt sore all over – his head, as mentioned, but also his upper arms and, oddly, his right knee. Had he been exercising unwisely? The bed in the room he had been given at the Sun Palace was not that nice, too hard and unyielding, but it wasn’t enough to cause this sort of aching…

“I will see to it that the next bed lives up to your stringent standards.”

Lan Qiren’s eyes shot open and he sat upright at once: that was Wen Ruohan’s voice.

“What are you doing in my –” he started to say, then stopped.

Wen Ruohan was not in his bedroom.

He wasn’t in his bedroom.

He didn’t even recognize this bedroom.

It was massive, for one thing: a full suite, the way the hanshi was back at home, with place for a bed and a table and plenty more besides. The bed was similar in style to the one in the room he had been assigned but larger in scale – made of dark wood and covered in the red sun motif like all the other décor, but over twice as broad and an extra chi in length, and the brocade fabric used to upholster it was considerably more lush and luxurious and, admittedly, more comfortable than what he’d been sleeping on in the Sun Palace’s guest quarters. The room itself was the same, decorated in luxury extending to the point of opulence: there was a painting scroll on one wall that if genuine would be worth more than everything Lan Qiren owned put together, young master of a Great Sect or not, and on the other wall hung six swords, each more glorious than the next, and he suspected if he knew more about weaponry he would be able to recite their names.  Even the red sun that was painted on every ceiling here glittered with embedded rubies and spiritual stones, emanating pure qi – a tremendous waste, each one of them sufficient to be a cultivation sect’s precious treasure.

Amidst all this luxury, Wen Ruohan was sitting not far away from the bed, a book held loosely in his hands – it was as if he’d been waiting for Lan Qiren to awaken.

“I think you’ll find, in fact,” Wen Ruohan said, and his eyes were glittering the way they had been the day before when it had been Lao Nie he’d been looking at, full of malice and self-indulgent amusement, “that this is my bedroom.”

This was not a surprise, but rather the only logical conclusion.

Not that it explained why Lan Qiren was here.

“Did I – fall asleep?” he asked uncertainly, though surely that must be the reason. “And you – brought me here?”

“You did, and I did,” Wen Ruohan confirmed, and seemed amused for some reason. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Lan Qiren wracked his brain, which was hurting and unhelpful and slower even than its usual plodding pace. “…I was thinking that liquor tastes vile.”

Wen Ruohan’s smile broadened. “Mm. It seems that you inherited your grandfather’s head for wine.”

Lan Qiren’s grandfather was one of the elders who refused to obey the rule against alcohol. He had also, in his later years, developed a most un-Lan-like fondness for wine.

He had not at any point developed a tolerance for it.

Lan Qiren closed his eyes in a wince. He must have made a complete fool of himself!

“This foolish junior apologizes to the Sect Leader for his misbehavior,” he said. He wanted to lift his hands to salute, but the movement, when he started it, set off his stomach, and he was forced to wrap his arms around his midsection instead.

There was a rustling sound, robes moving as Wen Ruohan rose to his feet, but Lan Qiren kept his eyes stubbornly closed, fearing that any further input would cause him to bring up everything he’d consumed the night before – only to open them in shock a moment later when he felt a finger press against the acupoint between his eyes, a warm stream of spiritual energy pouring in to cleanse away the nausea and pain of his headache.

Of his hangover.

He had a hangover.

Wen Ruohan, the mighty Sect Leader Wen, was providing him with medical attention to deal with his hangover.

There weren’t going to be words for how much he was going to get punished when he got home.

“Thank you, Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Qiren croaked, feeling hot all over with unending mortification. He had truly been foolish to think that just because there was only one night left in the Nightless City there was little danger of him repeating the mistakes of the past – he had no face left to speak of.

“Oh, no need to be so formal,” Wen Ruohan said, drawing out the words in a drawl. “Not after such a memorable night.”

Lan Qiren did not want to know what he did to make the night get described as memorable. He did not.

Especially not since Wen Ruohan was so obviously enjoying himself over it.

Of course, he wasn’t an idiot: he might be slow and bad at social cues, might find it difficult to understand the unspoken or keep up with sarcasm, but even he knew what was being implied here.

An older man with a younger one, liquor shared, a bedroom…

Yes, he understood the implication.

He just wasn’t stupid enough to believe it.

Lan Qiren folded his hands together and held his head up high.

“It is good that the Sect Leader did not take insult at my foolishness,” he said stiffly. “I thank you for your care and attention, and regret the burden I placed upon you.”

If anything, Wen Ruohan looked even more amused. “Such dignity, little Lan. You’re not even going to ask what happened?”

“This junior is only sixteen,” Lan Qiren said, still stiff and icy. “There is nothing that could have taken place without Sect Leader Wen’s approval, and naturally Sect Leader Wen would not permit this junior to offend his dignity.”

There, he thought with some satisfaction. That neatly turned the situation around: even if something untoward had occurred, which honestly Lan Qiren did not believe past that first initial moment of panic – even putting aside the fact that he wasn't anywhere near sore enough for something like that to have occurred, Wen Ruohan was not known to succumb easily to lust, nor was he so eager for war that he would recklessly try to deflower the son of another Great Sect while the latter was intoxicated for the first time – the blame would fall squarely on Wen Ruohan’s head, not Lan Qiren’s.

Wen Ruohan laughed, understanding perfectly well what Lan Qiren meant.

“You would think so,” he said, sounding almost approving of Lan Qiren’s rule lawyering. “I would have thought so, too, but I find that you Lan have truly remarkable arm strength…especially when trying to keep your conversational partner from escaping while you explain the difference between what the Lan sect consider to be fundamental rules and those considered ancillary.”

Lan Qiren blanched.

That was worse than what he’d thought – because unlike the notion of him making unwanted advances (or receiving them, for that matter), it was plausible. Terribly, painfully plausible.

“Oh, yes. All five iterations of the debate.”

Oh no.

“Four sect discussions. Seventeen separate texts on the subject, not counting later commentaries. Sixty-four subsidiary rulings, all of which you were very enthusiastic in recounting - and here I was thinking that your Wall of Discipline had a surfeit of rules, when in fact it was only the beginning. Apparently, I underestimated you.”

Lan Qiren buried his face in his hands as if that would make it stop. 

“Still, I suppose I’ll have to accustom myself to hearing more about the rules in the future,” Wen Ruohan mused. “We’ll be spending far more time together, after all, on account of our sworn brotherhood.”

Lan Qiren looked up and opened his mouth, then stopped.

He had nothing to say.

His mind was absolutely blank, a state which had never before occurred.

“Forgive me,” he finally spat out. “Our – what?”

Wen Ruohan smiled at him with eyes full of poison and a mouth full of teeth.

“Sworn brotherhood,” he said casually, as if it was nothing. “You were saying that you regretted not being able to see more of the Nightless City before you left, and that you could only leave the Cloud Recesses to visit family, so we became sworn brothers.”

“We did not.”

“Oh, but we did,” Wen Ruohan said. “We drank mixed wine and swore all the appropriate oaths – I have the written version here, if you’d like to see.”

The piece of paper he put in front of Lan Qiren was recognizably in Lan Qiren’s own hand, although his normally impeccable calligraphy was rather wobbly. It was still readable, though, and the first few clauses very clearly laid out a sworn brotherhood oath.

Lan Qiren stared at it.

“We – but we can’t be sworn brothers,” he said blankly. “We’re – you’re two generations older than me. Am I supposed to call you da-ge?”

“No one has called me da-ge since my youngest brother died,” Wen Ruohan mused, and Lan Qiren was abruptly reminded of the rumors, never confirmed, that that particular death had come at Wen Ruohan’s own hands following a challenge for the seat of sect leader. “It’ll be very charming, I’m sure.”

“But…”

Wen Ruohan said nothing, but only smiled at him.

Lan Qiren looked down at the paper.

He didn’t understand what was happening.

He tried to go over it again in his mind: he had left the competition when the celebration had started, he had wandered the halls, he had tried to obey his brother’s instructions in avoiding Wen Ruohan, and when that failed, he had obeyed him in trying to be obedient. He had drunk liquor for the first time, and he had no memory thereafter until he had woken up here and now, in Wen Ruohan’s bedroom, with Wen Ruohan saying that they had –

He didn’t think Wen Ruohan was teasing him over this, though. Not the way he had so obviously been with his implications that they had used the bedroom for purposes other than sleeping.

Not with evidence, written in his own hand.

He didn’t understand.

How could this have happened?

“…did we really?” he whispered, half-hoping against hope that it was still a tease, still a joke, still – something, anything, other than what it was. That Wen Ruohan was just waiting for him to declare that he believed him, to demonstrate dismay, and then he would tell him the truth.

“Yes,” Wen Ruohan said instead, inexorable. “We did.”

Lan Qiren’s mind fell into chaos.

He didn’t understand.

He didn’t understand.

“You’re shaking,” Wen Ruohan observed. “Ah, little Lan – don’t tell me it’s now that you’re scared?”

Lan Qiren’s hands were in fact shaking, he observed, and he put them over his face.

“Why would you do that?” he asked, his whole body starting to rock back and forth in his distress. “Why would you – with me – an oath of brotherhood can’t be taken lightly –”

“It can’t be,” Wen Ruohan said, and for some reason he sounded satisfied. “Certainly not for someone like you, little Lan, who always keeps their word and does not lie.”

“But why?” Lan Qiren asked, his voice rising almost into a plaintive wail. “Our sects aren’t even allies.”

“They are now,” Wen Ruohan said, and put his hand on the back of Lan Qiren’s neck. It felt hot against his skin, like a hot stone used for massage – a little too hot to tolerate for very long. “You know the obligations of a sworn brother oath as well as I. My duty as the elder brother is to guide you and care for you, support you and yours, and in return you are to obey me and be guided by me.”

Did Wen Ruohan want a spy in the Lan sect? Lan Qiren wondered wildly. But surely there were easier ways than this – not only would he make a terrible spy, with his clumsiness and his terrible social skills and his inability not to take everything seriously, but it would be simple enough for his sect to counter such a move. All they would need to do would be to cast him out…

His rocking intensified.

Wen Ruohan brought his other arm around him and pulled him close until Lan Qiren’s forehead, with its forehead ribbon still firmly in place, was pressed against his chest.

“Don’t cry, little brother,” he crooned. “Am I to allow a priceless painting to be kept by those that see it only for its use as spare kindling? A peerless treasure sword left to prop up a door?”

“You have a half-dozen swords hanging on your wall, each more priceless than the next, and all of them rusting away for lack of use!” Lan Qiren cried out. “Even if it’s only a door, at least it’s – it’s my – my brother…”

“Do not worry about your brother, undeserving as he is of your sincerity. Qingheng-jun has been trying to get concessions out of me this entire conference,” Wen Ruohan said. His breath was warm against Lan Qiren’s hair. “I’ve been refusing, but now I’ll grant them. He won’t punish you.”

“That’s not how that works. Punishment isn’t inherently bad; it’s meant to correct and guide the individual – the failure of good conduct will always be my own, no matter the result –”

“What I have taken into my hand, no one yet lives who would dare seek to take away,” Wen Ruohan said. “Anyway, it’s too late to regret now, isn’t it? What’s done is done. Don’t you have a rule like that?”

Lan Qiren sniffed. “No. There are at least four that could potentially qualify as having similar underlying meanings, but none directly on point.”

Wen Ruohan huffed. “Little Lan, if I tore out your heart, would you have time to cite one of your sect rules before you died?”

“…maybe if it was a short one?” Lan Qiren said, blinking at the strange question; his lashes brushed against Wen Ruohan’s lapel. “I mean, there’s a difference between ‘Be loyal and filial’ and ‘Set the wise as your teacher and the moral as your example’, isn’t there? And of course you’d have to consider whether in tearing out the heart you impeded the lungs, and how much time it would take the exsanguination to take effect…”

He was calming down, he realized, and pulled back out of Wen Ruohan’s arms, blushing as he realized that the question must have been meant as a distraction, though how Wen Ruohan had realized that a distraction would be the best way to reduce his distress when even he hadn’t known, he had no idea.

“Thank you for your consideration,” he mumbled, ducking his head in embarrassment.

Wen Ruohan started laughing.  

“Truly I have found an unappreciated treasure, unlike any other,” he said amid his chuckles. “Come along, little Lan. Let’s go break the news to your brother.”

[chocolatecakecas]

Baby Blues

Through the Dark: Season 13 Destiel Fic Part 9

Part 1     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7  Part 8 Part 10

or read on ao3

Dean aggressively jerks the car into park, and rips the keys out of the ignition, sending a silent apology to Baby.

Friggin Sam and his friggin brilliant ideas.

Beside him, Cas wordlessly slides out of the passenger seat, slamming the door as he goes.

Rage radiated off Dean as he watched him disappear through the door. He gripped the wheel tighter, squeezing his eyes shut.

This is all Sam's fault. It was his idea for them to go on this damn hunt in the first place.

He insisted, since Dean had barely left the house since Jack, and he hadn't been a hunt since that giant ass vamp nest. Insisted that some "alone time would do them good". So he promised to take care of Jack, and practically shoved them out the door.

Yeah, and some good it did them. They hadn't even spoken since their little screaming match, sitting the entire ride in silence.

And none of this would have even happened if Cas had jus-

Dean groaned, banging his hands against the wheel.

Who the hell did Cas think he was slamming Baby's door, thinking he's the one who’s allowed to be mad? After the stunt he just pulled?

Nope, that's it. They're talking, now.

(read the rest under the cut)

And with that, Dean was out of the car, stomping after Cas.

Dean shouts as soon as he spots him in the hall, and Cas doesn't even acknowledge that he heard.

Wow real mature, Dean thinks to himself. So stalks after him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Dean questions grabbing his shoulder to spin him around.

"Going to find my child who I haven't seen in three days" Cas replies dripping with sarcasm.

He turned to leave, but Dean quickly pulled him back. Cas' levels him with an unimpressed look.

"Hey we aren't done with thi-"

"Oh I think we are" Cas scoffs bitterly, as he pushes out of Dean's grasp.

While he continued down the hall, Dean paused for a moment in an attempt to calm himself. With a sigh he tipped his head back, groaning when he noticed one of the bulbs above him flickering. Great, now he's gotta fix that.

Spotting the broken bulb did nothing to diminish the fire burning inside him, in fact, it only fueled it. So he quickly took off after Cas' retreating form.

"You pulled that stupid move Cas, we're talking about it. It was completely reckless, what the hell were y-"

"Reckless? You want to lecture me about reckless? After all of the insane things you've done over the ye-" Cas starts bitterly, not slowing his pace.

"-We aren't talking about the dumb shit I've done, we're talking about you, right here, right now. You could hav-"

"I had it under contro-"

"Really? So almost getting sliced in half i-"

"Don't be dramatic I was not going to ge-"

"Cas, that shifter was gon-"

"Dean, may I remind you that I am an angel. I was not go-"

"Oh you're an angel? Wow, not like that hasn't stopped anything from almost killing you befo-"

"Dean, the shifter is dead. I'm perfectly fine, I had it handle-"

"Yeah, having an angel blade almost shoved into your throat is handled" Dean grumbled.

Cas finally stopped walking. They somehow ended up by the stairs.

Dean stood, arms across his chest, as anger rolled off him in waves. While he waited for Cas' inevitable sarcastic retort, his gaze traveled to the overhead lights, watching them flicker.

Great it's probably the entire grid, not just one bulb. Crappy old wiring. Well, it could be worse, at least it can't be a ghost, now way ones getting in here anyway.

With a huff he fixed his eyes back on Cas. And something twisted low in Dean's stomach when Cas sighed, clearly exasperated.

The sound ignited the flames within him once more.

Does Cas even understand? Does he even realize? Does he even ca-

"Dean-" Cas began, through clenched teeth.

The flames burned, spreading like wildfire. Dean saw red.

And Dean was off, pacing wildly, voice rising.

"Ya know what? Angel or no angel it, doesn't matter Cas. The move you pulled was completely stupid. I told you to wait for me, and you didn't listen. No, you went in with some half cocked plan and the thing jumped you an-"

"Dean, I was perfectly fine. They surprised me, but I-"Cas attempted to cut him off, but he wasn't having it.

"We had a plan and you didn't stick to it. It would have worked i-"

"Dean, the things we do, rarely go according to plan. And we both know it wouldn't have worked, we were running out of time an-"

Dean groaned, angrily pulling at his hair. His heart racing in his chest.

Neither of them took notice of the lights above them as their anger bubbled over.

"Then we come up with a new plan, you don't run in there with some half assed idea. But no, you had to be reckless and stupid and risk y-" Dean yelled.

At that Cas spun around, fists clenched at his sides.

"Dean I was perfectly safe, yes it caught me momentarily off guard, yes I could have waited, but we we running out of time. It was the only option and I-"

"Cas you just can't risk yourself just because you thought it was the only optio-"

"Dean that's what we always do" Cas accused taking a step forward.

Dean's heart pounded against his chest.

"That move was stupid, even for u-"

"We've been in far more dire situations. We've all made dangerous choices, fleeting decisions in order to save people" Cas continued, voice rising as he inched closer.

Dean suddenly found it difficult to breathe, mind racing as his anger buzzed through him.

"Yeah that's the job Cas, but you just don't go sacrificing yourself for gods sake" Dean yelled matching his volume as the lights flashed undetected.

In the pause, Dean thought he might have heard a distant sound, but Cas let out a bitter laugh, recapturing his attention.

"Oh you're one to talk. More often than not, a hunt comes down to making a risky choice. More often than not, it's about putting yourself in harms wa-" Cas was closing in now, blue eyes pinning Dean in place.

Dean drowning in pure desperation and rage, trying to get Cas to hear him. They blinded him to reality, his mind only telling him to scream back at Cas, offering no further instruction. Logic had been thrown out the window.

"What, now you're using our bad decisions to justify acting like a dumbass? What good did all that shit do u-"

"Dean, if I hadn't done it, I'm quite sure you would have made the same move a second late-".

"Like hell I woul-"Dean shouted, echoing off the walls as his hands began to shake.

"We both know you would have. You taught me to get the job done, find a different way, no matter the cost, we always find a way. That's exactly what I did, what I've always done, what we've always done. So Dean, I don't understand why this time is any diffe-"

"Because I can’t lose you again!" Dean screamed, voice breaking.

And with a bang the room went black.

They stilled, eyes meeting in the dark. Sparks floated down from the bulbs above, serving as the only light.

Dean quickly tried to regain a sense of his surroundings, going numb when he realized he heard cry-Jack.

The sound he hea-

Guilt like Dean has never felt before quickly overtook him, as he sprinted down the steps into the war room, heart pounding. They followed the sound in the dark.

The kid was crying, and they were both too wrapped up in their stupid fucking fight to even hear.

The backup generators kicked on as he reached the the pack n play, Cas beating him with his angel "night vision. "

Cas hurriedly scooped up Jack, who quickly stopped crying upon seeing their faces.

"Da! Dee!" Jack bounced in Cas' arms, his tear stained cheeks being the only indicator he was just wailing his head off. Then he was babbling away, smile on his face, as Cas pressed his palm to his forehead, checking if something was wrong. Dean hovered close, trying to look for any physical issues, when Cas sighed in relief dropping his hand.

But, upon seeing his kid safe, Dean's mind clicked back into action.

Jack crying alon-Sam-where's Sam-the lights-why di-

"-wow Jack great job stopping their little domestic display" Sam laughed as he emerged from the kitchen.

Okay what the hell is going on.

"Wha-"

"Jack blew the lights. When his emotions become unstable, his powers begin to tap into other power sources. Hence the lights bursting. That's what we learned this weekend, right bud? Already happened twice so far, oh, we need a new microwave by the way" Sam shrugged nonchalantly as he smoothed Jack's hair.

"You left Ja-"

"Wait, you were in the kitchen, you left Jack alone in here, heard him crying and you didn't go ge-"

Cas started, only to be cut off by Dean's panic.

"Okay okay mister moms, first of all, I was two feet away in the kitchen. I did run in here to get Jack, but I saw you two in here having it out, and didn't want to interrupt. So I figured one of you would grab him, or Jack would shut you guys up on his own. I guess you weren't giving him the attention he expected when he spotted you two, so Jack took matters into his own hands" Sam laughed with a shrug.

Dean's head was spinning. But he knew Jack was safe, had another angel power thing to deal with, but safe. And Sam was safe, a pain in the ass, but safe. And Ca-

His eyes slowly trailed over to him, watching realization dawn on his face, remembering that they were just in the middle of a fight.

Their was a shift in the room, and Dean's stomach twisted as he realized what he had said, what he scr-

"-aaaaaaand I think that's our cue bud. So you guys finish your fight, then Dean can fix the lights of course, and then you can see your kid" Sam smiled as he quickly plucked Jack from Cas' arms, ignoring his protests.

Dean watched them disappear down the hall, as the flames died, taking the fight in him, with them. He slumped in on himself, finally giving in to his exhaustion. All that remained was fear, which quickly let consume him.

They stood in silence for a moment, setting Dean's mind in motion again.

God what the hell was he doing? Why did he have to get so damn angry, why can't he just ta-

"Dean I-"Cas whispered

He dared a glance at Cas who was studying him, eyes full of remorse. But whatever look was on Dean's face, immediately shut him up.

Fuck

Dean tried to gain control of his ragged breathing, searching for the words.

He took a shuttering breath.

"Cas, listen I- I just got you back. And of course losing you wa-was always hard, but last time...."Dean trailed off, voice raw.

Dean's mind flew back to the flames, he could feel the sting of the cold night air, smell the smoke, hear Jack wailing against his chest.

"I-I can't go through that again Cas. And now there's Jack too, and I-it was jus-it'll kil-I can't handle it, not again. Please, I can't plea-" Dean pleaded desperately.

And then suddenly Cas' arms wrapped around him, forehead pressed against it shoulder as Cas supported his dead weight.

Dean gripped at Cas' jacket as a sob racked through him. And Cas just squeezed him tightly, murmuring something Dean couldn't make out.

It was as if everything came crashing down at once. The three months he spend refusing to process Cas' death, the terror of raising Jack, the joy and confusion of Cas coming back, the fear and fragility of their new....well Dean didn't even really know what they were. But he knew he loved it, wanted it. All of it, the past nine months bearing down all at once.

He can't will it away. He can't force it back down and burry it deep within his stomach. He can't stop it. Can't control it.

Dean had finally broke.

Another sob forced it's way past his lips, and Cas squeezed him tighter, resting his chin on Dean's head.

God how completely pathetic he must look right now.

He's this messed up over some dumb routine hunt? Cas was right, they had obviously dealt with far worse, this hunt was nothing. And between the two of them they had each made more dangerous choices, than the one Cas made last night.

But when he saw Cas laying on that floor-

He can't lose him. He can't. Not now. Not after everything.

With a sniff, Dean forced himself to pull back, but Cas kept his hands on Dean's shoulder's holding him up just in case.

Dean pointedly kept his eyes trained on the floor, mind racing.

God he was pathetic.

Cas deserves better than this. Better than him.

He doesn't deserve to deal with Dean and all of his shit, he shouldn't have to. He and Jack both do. They deserve to have a home, and someone they can rely on, someone who can keep their crap together when it counts. Not someone who will fall apart and sob on their friggin shoulder.

Cas deserves someone better, some less broken.

Because Dean is broken, and he can't be fixed. He's just beyond repair an-

"-Dean" Cas' voice cuts through his thoughts.

Cas gently, tilted Dean's chin up, forcing him to look at him.

Dean sees nothing but guilt and sorrow swimming behind those wide blue eyes, and his heart clenches at the sight.

This is all Dean's fault if he hadn-

"Dean, I'm sorry. You're right, I don't know what I was thinking, it was a reckless move. I could have waited, we could have come up with something el-" Cas began softly.

And that seemed to snap Dean back to reality.

"Cas no-you did-you didn't do anything we normally wouldn't do-"Dean began finding his voice.

Cas shook his head, frown deepening and Dean's heart squeezed again.

Great now Cas is blaming himself for the entire thing, another thing Dean's fucked up.

"Cas look, I freaked out okay. It was a stupid move, I ain't denying that, but it wasn't like it was out of the ordinary-" Dean paused taking a shaky breath.

"But as soon as I-when I saw that bloo-you're blood. And that damn thing was hovering over you with the blad-and they had it in your-I thought I was too late, and that you wer-"Dean stops, words catching in his throat.

He feels the tears begin to prick in his eyes again, and Cas quickly swiped them away with his thumb.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, letting out a bitter laugh

"I'm sorry, crying over so damn hunt. God I'm pathetic, yo-.Cas, you deserve better than this. I'm just some broken nobody wh-"

Cas' breath hitched and an unreadable expression crossed his face.

Something new dropped deep in the pit of Dean's stomach.

Dean was right. Cas doesn't want him anymore, not after he lost it over some stupid hunt-oh who is he kidding. This isn't about the hunt, this is about Dean. About now that Cas has truly seen how fucked up, how much of a burden, how pathetic he is, he doesn't want him anymo-

Cas gently cupped the sides of Dean's face, forcing him to meet his gaze again.

"Dean, you are allowed to feel, allowed to get angry and scream. And you're allowed to reach your breaking point, and you're allowed to cry and want and need. These things do not make you pathetic, they make you human, they make you, you".

Dean's heart pounds in his chest, while he tries to look anywhere but Cas' eyes. It's too much, he doesn't des-

"So do not ever think for a second that I deserve better than you, because I believe I'm the one who is undeserving. You're a man who does everything out of love, who taught me how to love. And you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders out of the stubbornness and love within your heart. Which only makes you even more worthy of receiving love."

Dean felt his breath stall in his lungs,

"And I'm sorry if I haven't been clear this past month, but I love you Dean. I want you, you are all I have wanted for years. And I want this, here, with you and Jack, for as long as you'll have me. And I want all of you, everything, that makes you who you are. Because you are not some perfect machine in need of repairs, you are not broken Dean Winchester" Cas finished softly as tears rolled down his cheeks.

The fear raging within him had stilled, was replaced by a sense of love he had never felt before, which seemed to be the norm when it came to loving Cas. He always found new ways to make Dean's brain short circuit and this was no exception.

Cas wants-

Dean felt the air leave his lungs as he was struck with a realization, Cas' words sinking in.

Cas loved Dean, and he wanted to be with Dean, for as long as he'll have him. For forever, mayb-but one step at a time.

So slowly, with trembling fingers, he wiped away Cas' tears.

And as he looked into those familiar blue eyes, he made a choice. Because this was Cas. And he deserved more. So Dean was going to give him more.

So he takes a deep breath.

"Cas, I-I'm not the best at this kinda stuff, but I'm gonna try okay? Because you deserve to hear it. Because you deserve everything, love and happiness-whatever the hell you want. And if what you actually want is me, then you have me. Because you're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me, and I just can't believe that you want-but I-I want to believ-I want to believe that those things you said about me are true, that I'm worthy of love and deserve to want and all that. Because I love you, and I want to be with you as long as you'll have me. So if what you sai-what you see in me, is true. Then we would both get what we want, and I think after everything, we deserve it" Dean finished, voice shaking.

And the next thing Dean knew, Cas' lips were on his, hands cupping his face. Dean quickly wrapped his arms around his waist, deepening the kiss, as they exchanged whispered I love you's.

Eventually they pulled back foreheads resting together, breathing ragged. Then Cas caught his eyes, giving him a soft smile. A smile that said I'm sorry and I'm proud of you, that expressed everything Dean needed to hear, that Cas understood. Dean found himself easily grinning in return.

And a small flicker of hope, for Dean, for them, for what their life could be, ignited in his chest. They could have this, like really have this.

Of course a single conversation doesn't fix a lifetime of self-doubt and anxiety, that exists between the two of them. But it's a start.

So Dean pulls back, keeping his arms tight around Cas' waist.

"Well I'm glad we got that sorted out. But if you ever pull that self sacrificing bullshit again, I swear to god I'll kick your ass so hard it'll blast you back to the beginning of time, capiche?"

A smirk spreads across Cas' face, amusement dancing behind those blue eyes.

"Yes. I capiche"

And Dean barks out a laugh, shoving Cas' head away affectionately.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"Yes, but I'm your pain in the ass" Cas smirks, pinching Dean's ass, for effect.

And Dean definitely doesn't squeak in surprise, and cause Cas to laugh. But Dean does shut him up with another kiss.

God he's gonna be the death of him, but the thought only makes Dean's heart swell.

"C'mon dumbass, lets go find our kid" Dean says with a fond eye roll.

"But what about the lig-"

"Fuck the lights, if Sam thought Jack bursting them up was so funny, then he can fix them. Now, let's go see if we can get Jack to laugh so hard, that he blows up Sam's blender"

"Oh, and here I thought I was the dumbass"

Another laugh rips through him as grabs his hand, tugging Cas down the hall.

And when Cas squeezes his hand back, a warmth washes over him.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

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