#because he has DID... that logic follows through (this is sarcasm)

[shoechoe]

this is what so much diavolo analysis/theorizing is like i swear

[mermaidxatxheart]

Take a Seat

Pairing: Will Miller x Reader

Word Count: 1816

Warnings: oral, female receiving, sex in an office, Will is a menace. Probably swearing bc when have I not?

A/N: this is for @rayslittlekitten because they asked so nicely for face sitting 😂 it follows These Moments, but it’s not necessary to read both together unless you want to.

Will is bored. You are sitting at your desk and he’s lying on the couch, waiting for you to pay attention to him. It’s not like you can’t stop what you’re doing. It’s not like he doesn’t have a perfectly good face that you can be sitting on right now.

Fuck it. He’s gonna make you pay attention to him. He gets up, his big frame unfolding with a small groan and he comes over to stand behind you.

Of course, you know he’s there. The man is 6’1 of solid muscle and sarcasm. He’s kind of hard to miss. But you have reports to finish and budgets, and schedules, and-

Oh.

His thumbs press into the flesh of your shoulders, squeezing in just that perfect way that makes you want to actually moan out loud. He drags them up to the base of your skull and your head drops forward with zero resistance. The man is amazing with his hands, you can’t complain at all. He repeats the motion, over and over, working out the tension in your muscles, keeping you upright even though all you want to do now is slump over on your desk.

His big hands trail around to the front of your throat, gently cupping your chin and tilting your head backwards to look at him through half lidded eyes.

“Why do you always make me work for your attention?” He asks quietly and you let out a soft chuckle.

“If I just gave it to you, you’d be bored. You told me yourself that you like to earn what you get. I’m just helping you out.”

“Is that so?” He traces your bottom lip, pulling it down slightly. He can’t help but grin down at you. You are in no way tough, but he likes to let you think you are.

“Yeah.” You lick your lips, catching the pad of his thumb.

“You’re too tense. You need to relax.” He says abruptly, spinning your chair around to face him.

“I have work to do, William. I can’t just drop everything and go get a massage.” You sigh but he kneels in front of you, ignoring your words. “Will,”

“You don’t need to go get a massage. You’ve got me.” He says easily and tugs at your leggings.

“What? No.” You swat at his hands, glancing at the windows looking out over the gym floor.

“We’ve been up here for two hours and not a single person has come looking for you. No one is gonna walk in. I think they forgot you’re here.” He says, and despite his words being so calm and logical, your heart is racing. But… not in a bad way?

“Will-“ you hesitate, the only thing really holding you back is the fear of getting caught. His thick fingers hook into the band of your leggings and you lift your hips mutely, allowing him to pull them off.

“Good girl.” He praises and you roll your eyes. You don’t want that to work on you, but coming from his mouth? His mouth that knows how to take you apart cell by cell? It works. And he knows it.

He peels your leggings off, tossing them over his shoulder. He guides your legs apart, draping them over the arms of your office chair. “Scoot down, gorgeous. Really open up for me.” He smirks up at you and you can’t help the blush that creeps up your cheeks. “Bet Man-Bun never did this to you.” He mutters and you curl your fingers into his blond hair, pulling a little roughly, tilting his head back to look at you.

“For the last time, Miller. I’m not fucking Teddy. You demand too much of my attention.” You tell him and you can see the exact moment he shifts. His blue eyes disappear as his pupils widen, his lips part in a puff, the tips of his ears get pink and his fingers tighten on your thighs. You let go of his hair almost immediately, thinking that you hurt him for a second.

“Sorry, Will, that was rough.” You start. He grabs your wrist and places it back on his head.

“What if I said I liked it?” He offers and you blink, fingers curling into his hair automatically.

“You think you know a guy.” You whisper and he grins. You pull, guiding him towards his original target. “Better hurry up, I have paperwork.” You tell him and he gives a sloppy salute before nipping at your inner thigh.

Yeah right, like you’ve ever been able to think after he has his way with you. You won’t be walking again for a while after he’s done.

“Shirt off.” He orders, licking a slow solid stripe up your center. You rush to pull it off, adding it to your pile of pants. “Good girl.” He praises and then starts to tease you.

Slow licks at your entrance, your clit, back down, around, wiggling your clit in circles. All of it adds to the coil forming low in your belly, but none of it is enough to get you anywhere. You try grinding your cunt on his face but he just moves. You pull his hair and he obliges with a solid flick or two of his tongue on your clit, but he’s having too much fun teasing you.

“W-Will,” you moan and he looks up at you with his pretty eyes, all of his attention on you. He always gives you 200% of his attention and focus.

He latches onto your clit, sliding two fingers inside you and curling them forward, knowing every inch of your body inside and out. You gasp, rolling your hips and your leg slips off the arm of the chair. You struggle to lift it back up and he parts from you, making you groan in frustration.

“Relax. I’m nowhere near done.” He chuckles and picks you up over his shoulder. It’s embarrassing how easily he manhandles you, and how much you like it. He presses a kiss to your hip, squeezing your ass and giving it a little slap. He brings you over to the couch and sets you on the floor. He lays down, getting comfy. “Take a seat. Your throne awaits.” He grins and you roll your eyes, glancing at the open door to your office. “No one’s coming up here.” He reminds you, tugging on your wrist. He helps you climb on, settling you right over his mouth. “God, you’re gorgeous. Hands on the wall, honey. You remember.” He sighs, pulling you down to his waiting lips. He picks right back up where he left off, still driving you crazy.

You have one hand in his hair, riding his face slowly, feeling all the angles changing, and the other is against the wall, bracing yourself, holding on. He takes his time, drinking from you as you begin to drip for him. You can’t stop the whines and moans as he eases you so frustratingly gently towards that hill.

It dawns on you that he’s making sure all your attention is on him. You drop your gaze to the man between your thighs, his blue eyes on you. He winks, rewarding you with a blinding suction on your clit just for a few seconds. Combined with his slow and steady fingering of your g-spot and you skyrocket, but then he’s back to licking you slowly, teasing you.

“W-Will, please?” You plead, rocking your hips faster. But he doesn’t oblige, instead, he slows down and you whine pathetically. “Y-you’re so mean.” You pout, but you don’t take your eyes off him. He maintains that slow and steady pace, the way only Will would be able to. His self control is unrivaled.

You try, god you try to restrain yourself, too. But you’re desperate, he’s too good, he knows you too well, knows intimately every button he needs to push.

“W-Will, please, baby I’ll do anything.” You beg and it takes him a second to pull his torturous mouth off you.

“Anything?” He repeats.

“Anything!” You promise, delirious.

“Go on a date with me.” He says and you blink.

“What?”

“A date. With me.”

“You’re extorting me for a date by withholding orgasms?” You groan and he chuckles. It vibrates through your cunt, sending his breath skittering over your clit.

“If that’s how you want to look at it. Or, I’m convincing you with how well I eat your pussy.” He teases. “Earning that date, if you will.”

He does do it really well.

A date would be a serious step for your… situationship, but are you ready?

He flicks your clit with his tongue every couple of seconds, keeping you engaged and remembering why you should say yes.

“Fine. A date.” You say, and his lips attach around your clit. You don’t feel mad about it. You guys have been heading in this direction since you found out Teddy flirting with you made him jealous.

All thoughts are pushed out of your head as he starts to eat you out in earnest, his tongue sliding over your entrance, gathering up your juices and slurping it down. You want to look away, anywhere but at him. He’s so intense, eyes never leaving your face as he devours you. But you can’t. You can almost hear him saying ‘eyes on me, darlin’ and that just makes you wetter. Something changes in the way he’s tasting you. It becomes softer, tender almost, but even more urgent.

He loves you.

You can feel it. Maybe you had an idea about it the last time he fucked you in your office, but now, here, with him under you like this? You realize he hasn’t stripped. He doesn’t plan on getting anything back from you. He just wants to give you pleasure.

His hand on your hip pulls you tighter to him, suffocating him. Your hand eases on his hair, stroking it back softly.

He loves you.

He might not be ready to say it yet, but you feel it.

He pushes you over the edge, sending you off with a vibrating hum and your body goes rigid, locking into place as you cum, holding onto his head and the wall.

“Hey, Will, you still up here-“ his brother Benny calls, barging in and stopping dead in the doorway. “Shit! Sorry!” He calls as you scramble to get off Will. He bolts, slamming the door behind him.

You glare down at the man between your thighs as he laughs.

“Okay, no one important will come up here.” He amends.

“You Miller boys are the worst.” You sigh and he laughs, pulling you back onto the couch, laying you out on top of him.

“We do what we can.” He says, rubbing gently up and down your back. “Now about that date.” He grins and you bury your face in his chest.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Bad Ideas Part 11

Regulus Black au

Summary:  It started as nothing now it’s something. Voldemort has been defeated but that doesn’t mean the wizarding world is still a good place to be.

Link to Part 10 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Warnings: Smut

______

“How about we make some noise to make everyone uncomfortable?”

Everyone downstairs sat awkwardly. Neither James nor Lily could even look at each other. This was the LAST thing that they ever expected! They expected to come back to their children still being “children” not fully grown adults with their own lives.

Remus groaned before getting up and going to find some whiskey. Sirius turned his attention to James before wincing at the expression on his friend’s face.

“I would say welcome back but I don’t think you would enjoy that.”

James scowled at Sirius before running a hand through his hair.

“Who was supposed to be watching her? Did no one see this happen and say Regulus stop?”

Remus turned back to his best friend with that parental look of contempt that he wore so well.

“They must have done it on a shift change when Sirius and I couldn’t see anything.”

“No time for sarcasm, Remus.”

James snapped. Remus sat back down and stared at James for a moment before speaking.

“James, Lily…whether the two of you like it or not, Y/n is a grown woman. While Sirius and I weren’t thrilled with Y/n and Regulus becoming a couple…it really wasn’t our place to tell her to stop either.”

James turned to Sirius.

“You are being awfully quiet in this! Where were you? We made you to be the godfather for a reason.”

Sirius held his hands up.

“Mate, I don’t want to get into this.”

“Too bad, you are already in this.”

James hissed. Sirius was silent for a moment before speaking.

“I wasn’t thrilled by it. Ask Remus. I may have ran off to the train station like a madman to try and stop them from running off to France together. That definitely wasn’t my best look but…you know what, I’m just going to say it…Y/n does what she wants. I know you don’t like it and hell I don’t like it but Regulus and Y/n are good as a couple. He treats her like a princess. It's better than some horny hyped up on muggle Viagra with a duffle bag of porn in his closet.”

James immediately groaned.

“I do not want to think about what your brother has in his closet.”

Remus gave James a parental look of contempt.

“You are making this worse than it is. Now why don’t you go get some rest? I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Lily immediately stood with a gentle expression on her face. She decided that she would speak to James about this more logically when he wasn’t in the middle of a freak-out.

“I think Remus is right, dear. We do need to get some rest.”

James grumbled before following Lily upstairs for a sleepless night of worry.

The next morning, James went downstairs feeling even more exhausted than when he went to bed. Sleep did not find him in a pleasant place. His already crappy mood got even worse the moment that he spotted Regulus sitting at the table reading.

The shithead is just sitting there like it's nothing…I ought to wipe that smug look off of his face.

James thought as Regulus’ eyes rolled up to meet his.

“I know you’re there. Are you just going to stare at me for the rest of eternity because that will be annoying.”

James scowled.

“Where is Y/n? I want to talk to her…not you.”

Regulus rolled his eyes before going back to the newspaper.

“She has this thing called a job. I know it's a new concept for you but that’s where she is.”

James took a breath, trying to fight the urge to punch Regulus. He knew that it would be a bad thing to do but he desperately wanted to wipe that smug expression off of Regulus’ face so badly.

“I’m surprised that you let her work. I figured that you would keep her locked up in this haunted house.”

Regulus’ grey eyes rolled up again.

“Let her? I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. I don’t let her do anything. She’s a grown woman and can do what she wants. This isn’t the stone age.”

Regulus snorted.

“Let her, that’s funny, Potter. That daughter of yours doesn’t do a damn thing that she doesn’t want to do. I can tell her not to do something until I’m blue in the face and she will still do whatever it is. There is also this thing called a healthy relationship where I can tell her that I don’t like something and if I’m lucky she will listen to me. She likes her job as a doctor. It doesn’t matter if we have enough money where she doesn’t have to work, she wants to. If she wants to tend to gross nasty sickly people then that is her choice. It's better than having her sitting here going all psycho like my mother.”

James blinked a few times before scratching his head.

“So, you don’t order her around?”

“No, Potter. I do not order your precious little daughter around. Now would you get over yourself before I have to punch you in the face?”

Sirius stepped into the room before quickly turning to edge out. The last thing that he really wanted was to get into the James vs Regulus grudge match of the season.

“Sirius, don’t leave.”

Regulus commented as Sirius turned around with a frown on his face.

“But I’m doing something.”

Sirius grumbled.

“What are you doing? You look lost.”

Regulus replied as Sirius dropped into the chair on the other side of the table. He couldn’t blame his older brother for not wanting to get into this mess. Regulus didn’t want to be in on it himself either. He would much rather James just shut up and face reality. That didn’t seem like it would happen, however.

“I was…I was watching a dinosaur movie?”

Sirius commented quickly.

“Jurassic Park, again?”

Regulus questioned. He didn’t know how bitter or annoyed with James he had to be in order to be interested in Sirius’ day.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sirius quickly replied. Regulus nodded before going to idly look at the article on the Malfoys he had been reading.

“And your feelings on this? You have watched this movie fifty times.”

Regulus was banking on Sirius going on a tangent and when he did Regulus couldn’t be more relived.

“Okay, so …you mean to tell me that this joker scientist found every species of dinosaur in tree sap? Did they all get stuck in the great sapalanche of a million BC?”

Both Regulus and James turned to look at Sirius as if mentally wondering why they bothered with him.

“Sapalanche? That isn’t even a word.”

Regulus grumbled. There was sometimes Regulus couldn't help but wonder how he hadn't murdered his brother years ago?

“It's the point though. You can’t tell me that there isn’t anything that you enjoyed about that movie.”

Sirius commented. Regulus smirked.

“The lawyer being eaten by the T-rex was neat.”

James rolled his eyes for the millionth time before deciding to come into the conversation. He didn’t know why he was bothering but it seemed like the thing to do.

“And you’re who Y/n chose to spend her life with?”

Regulus batted his eyes with a snarky little grin.

“Yes, get used to it. It was me or the Longbottom twit. I can start listing the reason why she loves me however a lot of them aren’t safe for your precious little ears.”

James immediately started shaking his head.

“Just stop, Black!”

Sirius hung his head and contemplated putting his hands over his ears.

“Yeah, stop, Reg. I don’t need to be hearing this either. I’m changing the subject. So, I have this scaly patch on my elbow. Do you think it's anything serious?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before resuming his cool stoic demeanor.

“As a matter of fact, Y/n was doing a paper on scaly patches. It's a serious problem and you may have to have your arm amputated. I would definitely have that looked at before we have to call you stumpy.”

Sirius sat motionless for a few moments before getting up and running out of the room. James turned back to Regulus with a frown.

“That was mean.”

Regulus leaned back in his chair.

“What do you know about scaly patches? Didn’t your parents die from Dragon Pox?”

When James stormed out of the room, Regulus couldn’t help but be relieved.

“I should have said that from moment one. I am really losing my touch.”

Later that afternoon, you stepped into Grimmauld Place reading a pamphlet that had been given to you. A set of arms immediately wrapped around your waist.

“I never thought you would come home.”

Regulus sighed against your mouth. You stood on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

“Did you miss me that much?”

“You have no idea. I have been stuck with that brother of mine and your annoying ass father.

Something told you that this was going to be the reality that you would have to get used to.

“You didn’t hurt them, did you?”

“Not really…but I….”

“Y/N!”

Regulus was interrupted by Sirius as he came into the room holding his arm pathetically. You turned to face your godfather with a raised eyebrow.

“What did you do?”

Sirius winced.

“I have this scaly patch on my arm and I don’t want it to fall off!”

You frowned before turning to glance at Remus who was rolling his eyes. Turning back to Sirius, you took a breath wondering how Remus remained so calm in the face of utter chaos.

“It isn’t going to fall off. Let me see.”

Sirius held out his arm as you began to examine it.

“This is only dry skin. You should put some lotion or something on it. Wait, who the hell told you that it was going to….wait never mind.”

You gave Regulus a scowl. This was a Regulus Black comment.

“I can’t help it that he walked right into it.”

Sirius continued to examine the place with a skeptical frown.

“Are you sure?”

You gave Sirius an exasperated sigh before motioning to your scrubs.

“Do you think that I dress like a doctor for the hell out of it?”

Remus stood up, having enough of the stupidity himself. He had told Sirius multiple times that it was dry skin but the other man didn’t believe him.

“See, I told you. Now come on, it's dinner time and everyone is waiting. Everyone is here and we are keeping them waiting.”

Regulus slightly sighed in frustration. The last thing that he wanted was to spend a delightful dinner from hell with mummy and daddy Potter glaring at him the whole evening.

“How much longer will these Tuesday night dinners be going on? Since Voldemort is dead, I thought we would all see less of each other.”

Regulus questioned. Wrapping your hand around his, you gave your boyfriend a small shrug,

“Let's just make the best of it.”

You too had no interest in sitting through a long dinner. After a long day, you wanted nothing more than to drag Regulus into a hot bath or be alone. Entertaining was the last thing that you wanted to do.

Stepping into the dining room, Lily and James immediately looked up at you. As much as you wanted to say that you had made some progress in accepting the fact that your parents were back, you hadn’t. Things still felt awkward and completely out of place.

Part of you was still bitter at their less-than-stellar reactions to the news of your relationship with Regulus. The other half understood. It had to be awkward as hell to suddenly come back from being dead to the reality that your children were grown up.

Taking your place beside Regulus, neither of you moved to say a word to the others as everyone gleefully talked about their day. You reached out for a roll and began to butter it.

“Can one of us fake a seizure to get out of here?”

Regulus whispered. He was relieved when you smiled. Regulus wasn’t crazy. He knew how uncomfortable you were with your parents. Instead of being happy that you had grown into a successful woman they immediately started judging your life choices. That had to be a big letdown.

It was a major letdown…

Regulus thought before focusing his attention on your face. It didn’t take him being in love with you to know your feelings. One look at your face told him everything that needed to know. Regulus could only hope that his rant directed at the Potters would make some kind of difference. As much as he hated repeating himself, Regulus would go off on James and Lily as many times as he had to in order to protect you.

Reaching down, Regulus wrapped his hand around yours and squeezed. Whatever he had to do to keep you happy and healthy would be done. You would always be worth whatever work that he had to put forward.

Meanwhile, across the table, Lily focused her attention on you. Despite the rather ugly introduction, she hoped that she could somehow make a successful mother/daughter relationship with you.

“Y/n, you have never said what you do at the hospital.”

Lily started. You looked up with a frown.

“Currently I am having Alice Longbottom follow me around trying to shove bubblegum wrappers in my hair. I’m supposed to be working in surgery or emergency but I got stuck in the memory care wing.”

Lily tried to give you an encouraging smile. She automatically picked up on your sense of disdain.

“I’m sure it's because they think that you are very capable and can help the Longbottoms in some way.”

You snorted.

“Sure…they have a lot of faith in me alright. I didn’t sign up for this.”

Sirius grinned automatically.

“You could always go back to work for Kinglsey again. He is always muttering about how bad his secretary is.”

Remus gave Sirius a displeased expression.

“She didn’t go to be a healer school just to be a secretary. I’m sure things will get better soon, y/n. They probably just want to test you in other areas.”

You sighed.

“But I want to put bloody bludgeoned people back together… I don’t want to play nursemaid.”

James immediately put his bite of food down at the bloody bludgeoned people comment. Remus and Regulus, however, were smirking. James had to wonder which one she got that from. The answer was definitely debatable.

“Give me a week and you can put me back together.”

Remus commented. You gave him a thumbs-up before standing up.

“This had been fun. I’m going for a bath.”

You patted Regulus’ shoulder before moving to go out of the room.

“Y/n, wait.”

You turned as you reached the first step. Lily quickly walked out of the dining room with a nervous expression on her face.

“I know that we didn’t really get off to a good start yesterday but I really do want to get to know you. You are my daughter, after all, and you deserve a family. I know that you have one but your father and I want to be part of it. Would you consider possibly going to lunch alone with me tomorrow?”

As much as you wanted to hiss like a cat and run away, you decided not to. Lily seemed so genuine and sweet that you really didn’t want to hurt her. You really had no interest in going to lunch so quickly. In fact, you were expecting a few small chats that would eventually lead up to an outing but here you were. Something told you that you would have no moment of peace until you gave in.

“You should give them a chance. I know that the meeting wasn’t ideal but your parents really are good people. I also have full confidence that they love you.”

Remus’ words from earlier that morning came rushing back to you. He had called you before starting work simply to check in.

Taking a breath, you meet your mother’s eyes with a forced smile.

“Uh…okay. That will be…nice.”

Lily immediately smiled, looking beyond thrilled.

“Wonderful! I am so excited!”

_______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @fific7 @justfinishthis @mimisparkle12 @criminalyetminimal @iluvthe-marauders @woohoney @abaker74 @regulus-black-223048 @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @goldendustwoman @littleshadow17 @livshifts @ell0ra-br3kk3r @stelleduarte @jsjcue @bxcndd @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @f4iryluvy @s-we-e-t-t-ea @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @buttercup-beeee @i-love-scott-mccall @panpride @bennyberry @gugggu6gvai @quinis @haroldpotterson @mentally-unstable-hoe @daddyslittlevillain @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @melaninnbarbie @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @untoldshortsofthefandoms @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel-blog @li0nh34rt @tas898 @padf00ts-l0ver @un-lovesherself 

[beaconfeels]

Talk shop Tuesday!

I have to ask bc I’m obsessed - what’s your thought process/how do you perceive and build your Stargent dynamics??

Oh Lucky my sweet human, I’m going to admit immediately that a very large chunk of my brain thinks this is just a call-out ask to make me admit I have no process. I know you wouldn’t do that, but also it would be very warranted if you did, just sayin.

So many people in this fandom, yourself included, have carefully delved into canon to explore and expand on characters in wonderfully logical ways and I am just over here like “head empty only vibes.”

However, I will try to put some words to the vibes. I think in the simplest terms, I’m drawn to them because I feel like they’re opposites that play off each other in ways I enjoy. The similarity between them of course, is that they’re both very traumatized people who have been through a lot of pain, but for me the intriguing juxtaposition is in how their various traumas and bad home lives played out in their lives and what that turned them into.

Chris to me reads as very disciplined. He has such a soldier mentality that he was willing to kill his wife when she was turned because that’s what it had been ingrained in him to do. Chris might not abide by every law, but he is a rule follower.

Then there’s Stiles-breaks into the evidence locker-Stilinski, who has never met a rule he didn’t want to defy. Like his home life, and his beautiful ADHD brain, he’s full of chaos and impulsive decisions.

Chris has a psychic weight to him. His sadness and trauma weigh him down, but he’s also grounded by his principles and what he believes about the world.

Stiles, even in the face of so much pain, has remained wonderfully incorrigible. He’s shredded his trauma with his sharp edges and shoved it down under a layer of sarcasm and mild threats to end people’s lives every ten seconds.

I think Stiles needs to be more grounded, and Chris needs to lighten up, and they give that to each other (in my head. Not in the show) I think they’re also two people who need more care in their lives, and they can give that to each other too.

Also, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I dunno why, but when I think about these two in my head, I can just see them being SO in love. Because Chris would torture himself about loving Stiles, but once he gave in he would be GONE because Stiles is stupid lovable when he wants to be, and he would make Chris laugh, which he desperately needs. I mean obviously in the few fics I’ve written for them it’s silly how sappy they are, but it makes me SO HAPPY. The show puts these two through hell, and I like putting them in cozy houses where they’re ridiculously in love and Chris calls Stiles “baby” a lot.

TL;DR I just think they’re neat and I want them to be happy and have lots of hot sex

[denwenai]

Breaking down Aziraphale's decision.

This is not a theory, all the information below comes from what we've seen in the show. I want to write down my thoughts so I can come to a conclusion about what drove Aziraphale to take that decision in the final episode. I firmly believe he did it consciously, and I'll go through his previous behaviours and knowledge to better understand why this decision is on character.

Disclaimer: it will probably get messy or reiterative sometimes. This is because I'm not a linear thinker and I keep coming back to previous paragraphs to add more stuff without checking if it keeps making sense as a whole.

Part One: He still needs Heaven.

I'll start with the current status of his relationship with Heaven, and how he feels about God and the other angels.

Aziraphale doesn't let it show, but he was struggling with how things ended with Heaven after S1. On a surface level, he makes it look like he's fine with it, but even with Crowley on his side, he's still programmed to respond to Heaven. That's his nature.

We've seen them actively working together through the years, and they're closer now, which makes sense for us because we know they're all each other has after S1. They're both against Heaven and Hell, they're on their own team. So it makes sense to assume that Aziraphale is ok with this situation. Heaven rejected him, he doesn't agree with Heaven either, but at least he's got someone who understands him. Everything worked out, everything is great.

But the truth is Aziraphale is not ok with this. It's evident when you look at some little details. Like how since he's not reporting to Heaven anymore, when he talks to Crowley he tells him the latest stuff he's been up to.

Or when Crowley ironically tells him he did a good job over the phone and Aziraphale gets all flustered and replies oh, do you really think so? He's genuinely craving positive rewards. Under other circumstances, he might have caught up with the sarcasm, but he subconsciously took it literally because that's something he actually needs to hear. He wants his efforts to be acknowledged.

After S1's arrangement, Heaven closed a door on him without actively punishing him. It's like a silent treatment because they still consider him an angel but don't give him orders or expect him to report back. They just don't want him anymore. And that was the ideal solution for Crowley with Hell. But Aziraphale needs Heaven because that relationship is what originally gave purpose to his existence. I don't think he's being vocal about it the way Crowley is, but neither seems to have a purpose now. Although they both deal with it differently. Aziraphale's solution was what I mentioned before, using Crowley as a figure to report back to. It's merely symbolic because Crowley isn't giving him orders or expecting him to do anything, and he's not his superior in any way. Also, Aziraphale apparently just talks to him about everything he does; everything is potentially a report. The mechanics are the same, so it helps Aziraphale ease his mind. On the other hand, this situation makes him expect feedback from Crowley, just as it would've happened with the angels. The Pavlovian logic here is: he reports, he gets feedback. That's why he takes comments like the good job one as compliments, especially if he just told Crowley what he's been up to.

This system is as good as it gets, at least while being an off-the-grid angel. And Aziraphale is very aware of this, that's why he accepts his fate and goes on with this. Reporting his daily activities to Crowley is not ideal, but it's good enough for him to trick his mind into believing he's following his usual angel routine, and that's comforting enough.

It's also important to consider that his issue with Heaven was different than Crowley's issue with both Heaven and Hell. Crowley doesn't agree with either, and he doesn't need to feel like he belongs somewhere. But Aziraphale needs to feel like he belongs, and he genuinely believes in Heaven being the good guys; that's why he feels contradicted when he sees the questionable things they do. Still, even though he might not agree with the means, he cares about the ends. God's plan is ineffable, after all. We could say, then, that he's on good terms with God, he just happens to disagree with how things get done. And since he won't ever dare to think that God does bad stuff on purpose, he assumes everything he doesn't like about Heaven is the management's fault. You can't question God, but you can disagree with Gabriel, Michael, Uriel and any other angel.

Part Two: Assumptions about Crowley's desires.

There's something we can tell about them and it's that they never really talked about how Crowley feels about the fall. We've heard Crowley goes along with Hell as far as he can, but that's just it. He never told Aziraphale if he regrets falling, or if he'd like to come back to Heaven. And if he did, we know he probably wouldn't say it out loud. Aziraphale knows this too. So we'll work with what Aziraphale knows to figure out what he assumes Crowley feels about being a fallen angel.

Aziraphale met Crowley before the beginning, and it was the most joyful he's ever seen him. Crowley was full of optimism and illusion. He loved his star factory. He felt fulfilled with this job.

After he fell, Crowley still loved the stars he helped create. He even wanted to go to Alpha Centauri if things went wrong on Earth (which we know is basically Aziraphale & Crowley's favourite place). This is important because it means he isn't resentful about his creations. He still loves his work in Heaven. For Aziraphale, this could mean Crowley doesn't hate fully Heaven, because he likes some of the stuff he created under Heaven's direction.

Crowley's been redundant about not agreeing with Hell either. Aziraphale doesn't care that it also means he doesn't agree with Heaven. For him, it's enough to know that Crowley isn't really on Hell's side. He still doesn't understand that Crowley is on his own, because for him that's lonely, and since he has this strong need for belonging -as I stated in part one- he figures Crowley has it too, and he would rather be with one group or the other rather than alone.

If Crowley isn't on Hell's side, it means that he's not evil. If he's not evil but he doesn't agree with Heaven, then it's because he's got the same problem as Aziraphale. He's got a problem with the management. So, if these angels leave, if they're not the ones giving orders, then it might be ok.

Aziraphale sees falling as the worst thing that could ever happen to an angel. This is evident when we see his reaction after lying about Job's children. He feels guilty, he thinks it's over. Just listen to the pain in his voice when he says he's a demon now. He doesn't want to be a demon; this is his worst nightmare. And again, he assumes Crowley feels the same. Because they were both angels, they must feel the same about falling. He doesn't get that Crowley doesn't care.

Even if he believed Crowley is ok with being a demon -which we can assume he doesn't-, he still knows that Crowley actually feels lonely. And that's enough for him to think that Crowley would be better being back in Heaven, because he wouldn't be alone anymore. Because he'd be with other angels, and because he'd be with him too.

Aziraphale takes all this into account and figures that Crowley feels lonely and would secretly like to be an angel again, as long as the angels in charge change and the system is fixed. This way, he could come back to creating nebulas, he could be happy and fulfilled again.

You could come back to Heaven and everything. Like the old times. Only, even nicer.

He's basically saying: you can come back and do the things you used to love. But now it will be better because I'll be in charge and I won't destroy your creations after 6 thousand years. I'll be in charge and you won't be lonely anymore, because we'll be together and there will be more angels, so you'll never be alone. I'll be in charge but you'll have a say, an opinion; I won't punish you for asking questions, and there will be a suggestion box. Everything you think is wrong with the system, I'll fix it.

Part Three: His reasoning

Imagine you've been rejected by Heaven. They don't seem to need you anymore, but you desperately want them to need you because that's what you've been taught. That's been your purpose since the beginning. That's all you ever learnt, and that's the only feeling you were allowed to have; that you must serve a higher purpose and you're worthless if you fail on your assigned tasks.

So you play pretend, you replicate what you used to do for Heaven because you can't do it anymore. Your superiors don't like you, and you know they will never change their mind. And to be honest, you didn't like them that much either; at least by the end you changed your mind about them, because of how they treated you.

But you still believe in that higher purpose. And you still believe the actual boss is on the right and knows what they're doing. Your problem is with the people in between. Everything you don't like about how Heaven gets things done is probably their fault.

Imagine now that this person you still believe in tells you your superiors are useless and they want you in charge instead, because they believe you can fix stuff. Suddenly your feelings are validated. Not only because God also thinks there's stuff that needs to be fixed, but because if they think you're the one for the job, then it means you've been right all along. Every time you doubted God wouldn't like the way things were getting done, you were right. Every time people told you "that's how God wants it, that's their plan", they were wrong. And you get the chance to be in charge, which means you can fix everything that's wrong with the current system. You won't be an outcast anymore and you'll still have your routine of following orders, only that now these orders come directly from God -the only authority you truly believe in- and not from the people that hurt and discredited you.

Plus, you get the chance to make things better for the person you love. And you don't know if he really wants that because you don't ever talk about it. But you would feel so bad if you were in his place, you'd like to be restored as an angel if you were him, so you assume he wants that too, even if he doesn't admit it.

So this opportunity is the best deal ever. You're accepted back in Heaven, the people you don't like aren't in charge anymore, God validates your concerns, says you were right all along & you're the only one that can fix things; you get to make things right for the one you love. Everything is perfect.

Why would you say no? You really believe your partner will say yes; because you firmly believe he's been secretly desiring to be back, to be an angel, to create more stars, and to be with you.

Part Four: His true intentions

Aziraphale isn't being selfish, he's actually thinking about Crowley's well-being when taking this decision.

We know Aziraphale never wanted power. He just wants that little corner in London where he can be around people and books. That's why his first reaction is saying no. He doesn't want to leave his bookshop, his life on Earth.

But he also wants Crowley to be happy and safe. After all, he's his only friend. That's why the offering of restoring Crowley's angelic status changes everything. Because Aziraphale really believes that's what Crowley would like. That's why he comes back excited with the best news.

And it's not that he prefers Crowley to be an angel. He loves Crowley regardless; he always has and always will. And he just found out about Gabriel and Beelzebub. So, he knows they can be together without the need for Crowley being an angel or him being a demon. And they've been together for a while now, neither Hell nor Heaven care about it anymore. So, it's not like he wants to turn Crowley into an angel so they can be together. He wants to help Crowley because he thinks that's what Crowley secretly wants.

Aziraphale's willing to leave his life on Earth for Crowley; he's willing to assume as a leader -something he never wanted- for Crowley. He's willing to fix the entire system for Crowley. You're against Heaven because you don't like how they work? But you surely want to come back to create your stars. Then I'll change the system for you, so you can come back safely, so no one will bother you.

There's this ambiguous dialogue that's been given different interpretations, even between Crowley and Aziraphale. But I think it's clear evidence of Aziraphale's intentions.

You can't leave this bookshop.

It's not just about the bookshop, and they both know it. The bookshop symbolizes Earth. People. Humanity. And everything they love about it. But the meaning of this phrase is different for each of them.

For Crowley, who knows how much Aziraphale loves Earth and people, it's a way of making him aware. You'll lose everything you love, angel, you don't want to do this.

For Aziraphale, it's Crowley's way of saying I appreciate what you're doing for me, I want what you're offering me, but you're risking something you love and I don't want you to. Crowley doesn't want him to make that sacrifice, but he longs for the results.

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever.

For Crowley, this means I changed my mind. I love Earth, and I love what we have, but I want to go now. It's been fun being just us. But it's over. I'm done being an outcast. I want to go back to Heaven.

For Aziraphale, it means I love Earth, but I also love you. And if you need me to leave my life on Earth so you get your angel status restored, then I'll do it. I wasn't supposed to have a humanized life anyway, it wasn't supposed to last this long. So it's fine if it ends now, if it is for you.

This is why Aziraphale doesn't understand it when Crowley rejects him anyway. That's why he desperately tells him I need you. Because it's not that he just wants to go and rule Heaven and make it a better place. He wants to go with Crowley, and to make it a better place for him. Aziraphale doesn't get how Crowley doesn't accept if he's offering to restructure Heaven for him.

Part Five: The consequences

The problem is that this is not what Crowley wants. So he rejects the offer. But Aziraphale is confused because he didn't expect this reaction at all. And when Metatron comes back, he's so in shock that he doesn't know what to say. He already compromised because he assumed what Crowley's response would be.

He still loves Heaven. And he believes in God's plan. And if God thinks he's the one who can make things right, then it's his responsibility to live up to those expectations. Aziraphale finds comfort in following God's orders; we already know that. This wasn't just about giving Crowley what Aziraphale thought he wanted. This was also about finally returning to his routine, to fulfil his purpose. This was supposed to benefit both of them. So, imagine Aziraphale's surprise when he sees this is something only he wants. He thought he was doing something for Crowley too, but Crowley didn't like the idea at all. But Aziraphale has a responsibility now, Heaven and God are counting on him. He can't turn back now, it's already too late.

Then we see the way he looks outside the window, distractedly saying nothing I can think of. How he takes his time before he decides to follow Metatron. How he reunites courage -but not enough- and says I think I... nothing at all.

And Crowley knew Aziraphale thought it was the best for both of them. That's why when he went out, he still waited outside the shop instead of leaving (like he did after Gabriel's arrival). He was waiting for Aziraphale to realise the implications of his proposal; he was confident he would understand. That's why it hurt so much when Aziraphale looked at him one last time before getting into the lift.

[octagledestroyer]

Good Omens Episode 2

Ok so first of all

...that first post blew up. Or at any rate it’s become more popular than any post I’ve ever made before so THANK YOU to my new followers and everyone who liked or reblogged it! 

I start the episode and the first people I see are Gabriel and Sandalphon- what an encouraging opening.

Also, forgot to mention yesterday but Aziraphale’s bookstore is a LOT bigger than I had imagined and I want to live there. 

Gabriel’s so friggin oblivious he has absolutely no idea what pornography is and I am cacklingggg

that side-eye from the other guy in the shop

“You can’t have a war without War” ah yes very clever. 

oooh I love Crowley’s flat. Wouldn’t want to live there, but it’s cool. 

the red-haired chick is War, isn’t she. Oh, yeah, here come the guns. 

I still don’t get the theme song, but I like the music

Agnes’ letter to the milk-man is so matter of fact

oh no, she cured people of diseases and thinks running is good for you, she must be a horrible satanic person

gonna be honest, this isn’t how I expected Agnes to look. I didn’t have a specific idea, mind you, this just isn’t it

well I wasn’t expecting THAT. I don’t think Mr. Adultery did either

pppft she wrote a prophecy about a phone company. Stocks 101 with Agnes Nutter. 

aaaand of course I haven’t been pronouncing Anathema right either. See kids, this is why you watch the show first. 

oohhhh cool, Agnes’ descendant and Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery’s descendant end up together. Hm. Well, at least I got Newton right. 

Oh Newton, you poor boy. Also Anathema’s hilarious and hot. 

whoa Anathema’s cottage is cute

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” How did they get the plants to tremble like that?

Poor Newton’s so confused and flusteredddd. I don’t like anyone that way but I just want to protect him. 

Now I’m starting to think Mr Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer might not have had that strange of a name for a witchhunter 

“You’ve lost the boy-” “WE’VE lost the boy.” “A-a child has been lost” nice use of the passive there

Did Brian just BITE his ice cream? Who BITES their ice cream?

I love the introductions, although Brian’s shirt and face are sending chills down my spine

Does this happen a lot? Aziraphale makes some grand speech on philosophy and theology and then Crowley just slices through it with logic?

pppft Anathema’s so concerned about their game she’s like “Inquisition? TORTURE?” and its a tire swing

She’s looking so hard for the AntiChrist and he’s right there 

That is a TERRIBLE parking job and as a permit-holder it is making me            c r i n g e 

He’s so obvious trying to get Crowley to get the stain off his coat 

Lol Norman with his tie around his- oh. Wait, no, I read about this, those guns don’t actually kill, right? ...right?

Right. Oh, he’s gonna call him nice, isn’t he? And then we’ll have the classic pinned-to-the-wall scene. 

“This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.” If that isn’t the truth... 

oh my god it would have broken her armmmmm also they act exACTly like an old married couple 

“Open thine eyes and read, foolish principalite, for thy cocoa doth grow cold” how very useful. No sarcasm here, for once. 

Literally I want Aziraphale to look that shocked all of the time it’s fanTAStic

Alright, that’s the end of Episode 2 and my ramblings which people seem (for some reason) to be interested in. The next post should probably be coming out sometime tomorrow. 

[angel-ixily]

Tao’s Torment

Pairings: None (Platonic) x gn!Reader

Pronouns: They/Them

POV: First Person

Fandom: Heartstopper

Warnings: Language, heavy sarcasm

Summary: A movie night at Tao’s is always an interesting scenario. Joking around and sarcasm is always a must when dealing with Tao’s specific taste in movies.

Movie nights at Tao's were always the worst. He wouldn't let us watch anything interesting like Marvel, Game of Thrones, Supernatural, or even some good ole Disney movie.

He'd end up making us watch some weird movie about how James Bond saved the world with curriculum and the logic of League of Legends. That's what it felt like we were watching anyway.

We watched Deadpool once, which is the greatest movie of all time, and the only thing he did was shit on it. The entire time!

"Yeah, Ryan Reynolds is a good actor, but what is the point of the movie? I don't see the big deal!"

"Tao come here."

"No. Why?"

"Tao, I said come here."

"No, you're gonna hit me!"

But nonetheless, it was just one of the things that made our little friend group special. Even if Tao hated Ryan Reynolds because Elle simped over him more than Tao, it was always a fun time.

Today, though, we didn't let Tao pick the movie.

I picked it...which was a bad idea because we have entirely different tastes.

Charlie and I arrived at Tao's house at around the same time. The both of us, which were extremely late by 20 minutes, were for sure going to be shit on by Tao. That in itself was destined to be set in stone.

We knocked on the door, almost in sync. Instead of Tao's mother greeting us with her usual warm smile and the offer of tea, Tao slammed the door open, glaring at us.

"You two are 20 minutes late!"

"Were you just waiting by the door until we knocked?"

Tao was silent for a moment, thinking about Charlie's claim. "I... that's beside the point. You guys are both 20 minutes late. Y/N, you literally live two houses away!" Tao exclaimed. His hands were on his hips, standing in a mom pose.

"I wanted to be fashionably late," I gestured to my outfit. "And here I am!" I lightly pushed past Tao to get into the house. Charlie chuckled, following me in. We took off our shoes at the front door and Elle came down the stairs, wrapping her arms around me happily. I hugged back.

"I'm so glad that you're here!" She exclaimed excitedly, pulling away and hugging Charlie. I turned to Tao and put my arms out in a hug gesture. A nagging smirk on my face.

"Huh?" I teased him.

"You. Are. Spiteful." He seethed. I placed a hand over my heart, faking my offense.

"Oh, golly gee! Just because I'm picking the movie for the night doesn't mean you have to get your panties in a twist." I sassed. Tao tried hiding his smile, rolling his eyes.

His mom rounded the corner at the commotion and smiled brightly once she saw me and Charlie. "Oh Y/N! Charlie! I didn't know you guys were coming, today!" She greeted. Charlie and I put our attention to her.

"I didn't really know we were coming over either, ma'am." Charlie replied. He gave a smile to Tao before giving his attention back to his mom.

"Oh, well I'm glad you guys did! If you need anything at all just come right down and ask me, alright?" She offered. We gave her our thanks before Tao pushed us all upstairs. Isaac was sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He smiled once he caught sight of us.

"You know Tao, I love your mom." I announced. "Is she married?" I asked him. Elle snorted.

"Ha ha, very funny Y/N. You've known her since we were babies. Yes, she's married!" He argued. I put my hands up in defense.

"Listen Tao, listen. Freedom of speech, okay?" I reminded him. His mouth formed into a wide O; his eyes dead. he didn't speak for a moment. He was probably wondering how he had made friends with such a dumbass.

"What do you think this is? America?" He asked me. He just stared at me for a little longer before shaking his head. "Let's just...let's just get this over with. What terrible movie do you have in mind for us to watch?" He asked, tired of my bullshit.

I scoffed. "How dare you assume that my movie choices are terrible. Personally, I think they're top tier, must watch, films." I defended. One of my hands were up sassily, while my eyes were closed to look like I was offended. Tao rolled his eyes.

"We're going to be watching Harry Potter!" I admitted. Elle gasped excitedly, Charlie nodded in approval, Isaac gave a thumbs up, and Tao groaned.

"Out of all the movies...that one? I would have preferred to watch My Little Pony!" Tao complained. I turned to Charlie, raising an eyebrow.

"If you would have wanted to watch My Little Pony...My Little Pony it is than!" Charlie compromised. Tao's eyes went wide with regret as Charlie leaned for the remote. Tao stopped him.

"No! No! No! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!" He exclaimed quickly. Elle laughed.

"Damn, Tao. You could have just said you wanted to watch Harry Potter." Isaac joked. Tao sighed.

"I get bullies too much by you guys..." He mumbled in defeat. i happily placed a hand on his shoulder.

"But you know that we love you." I spoke, the only kindness heard in my voice that you'd hear all day. I smiled up at him while he just gave me a look. I pat his shoulder before Isaac threw the remote at me.

I didn't catch it, but the floor did.

We all stared down at it. I nodded and picked it up, examining if it had any cracks or broken pieces.

"Good going, Y/N." Charlie said, sarcastically. He had a smile on his face. I smiled back to him.

"Oh, for sure! I should 100% join the Rugby team! Nick Nelson would welcome me in with open arms!" Nick Nelson would indeed not welcome me in with open arms. But at this point in time, Nick Nelson had no idea I existed. This was before his and Charlie's romance.

I faced the TV, turning it on. I scrolled past Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, and Peacock to get to HBO Max. I clicked it and we waited for it to load.

"Huh...almost like waiting for Tao's stubborn ass to-"

"Shut up."

"I love you, Tao."

"Ew! Go away."

HBO Max loaded, and I went to the search bar, looking up Harry Potter. As soon as I clicked H A R, it popped up and I clicked on Sorcerer's stone. We all got comfortable and began to watch the movie.

That silence and comfortability didn't last long.

"What houses are you guys in?" Isaac asked, I tore my eyes away from the movie.

"You do know that 'Hogwarts Houses' don't define you, right?" Tao asked. I cut him off before he could say anything.

"I'm a (Your House), Elle is a Hufflepuff, Charlie is a Hufflepuff, Isaac's a Ravenclaw, and Tao is a Slytherin." I said rather fast.

"I... what? Aren't Slytherins the bad guys?" He asked. I looked up to him.

"No. It's just that most Slytherins easily get manipulated and convinced to join dark sides because of how society views them." I explained to him. "They're not the bad guys, either. Just very stubborn and resourceful." I finished my statement. Tao grabbed his phone, probably to search up signs of a Slytherin.

We were quiet again, just watching the movie. That's until Tao spoke up again.

"The Hogwarts quiz says that I'm a Gryffindor, so HAH!" He laughed in my face, pointing his phone towards me. Elle looked concerned, amused, and confused.

"Did you just take a quiz to prove Y/N wrong?" She asked him, crossing her arms. Tao blushed, his face flushing.

"I do admit, I may have been wrong. But Tao does carry some traits of a Slytherin. You can search it up." I offered, not taking my eyes off of the movie.

The movie was almost over when Tao got up to pee. That's the excuse that he told us anyway. The movie ended and he still wasn't back. Charlie got up off of the floor, stretching. He was the first to notice Tao's disappearance.

"Didn't he say he was using the bathroom 23 minutes ago?" He asked as I had gotten up. I stretched.

"Mans is probably taking a dump or something." I assumed. Elle reached down to Tao's phone, which he left on the bed, to check the time. As soon as she tapped the phone, it opened, revealing a 'What Harry Potter character am I?' Quiz." I snorted, covering my face in my hands.

Never in my life would I think Tao would be the one to take these types of quizzes.

When Tao came back, he had 3 buckets of popcorn. He looked at the Tv. "Oh, it's over already?" He asked. He seemed fine until he looked at all of us, crowded over his phone, dying. "What are you guys doing?" He asked, placing down the popcorn.

"You're Animagus is a Blobfish?" Isaac asked, laughing. Again, Tao blushed. He quickly ran over and grabbed his phone, hiding it in his chest.

"I just wanted to check because they mentioned it in the movie." He defended himself shyly. I shook my head, a huge smile on my face.

"If you enjoyed the movie, you should have just said so. We could have made plans to watch the second one!" I proposed. Charlie looked over to me.

"It's only about 8:30. We still have time." He offered. I looked at Elle and Isaac, who nodded. I looked up at Tao.

"I guess. I mean, I made all this popcorn for nothing if we didn't watch another movie." He confided. I smiled.

"Awh so you do like the movies!" I exclaimed. Tao cringed.

"What? No! I just...I... just play the movie!" He said, sitting on the bed. He handed me and Charlie a bucket a popcorn, him, Elle, and Isaac a bucket. The third one was for refills.

"Ready to watch the movie, wand with kelpie hair, troll whiskers, and 3 hairs off of a unicorn?" I asked Tao teasingly.

"Shut up and put on the movie," Tao paused for a moment. "And stop looking through my phone!" He ordered. I played the movie.

"The day that I stop teasing you will be the day I stop going through your phone. And that won't happen until I'm dead." I joked around.

"Good thing I poisoned your popcorn..." He mumbled.

"What?" Charlie asked.

[space-mermaid-writing]

Okay I have no clue how and why no one has written this yet but can we get an IronStrange imagine where Superior Iron Man is in the Illuminati and Stephen sees him when they bring him to them and angst bc his Tony is dead and he sees the love of his life go darkside? No idea what to do about plot but I need that interaction.

OR OMG I THOUGHT OF THIS WHILE WRITING THAT BUT SINISTER STRANGE MEETS SUPERIOR IRON MAN? AND THEY HAVE THE HOTS FOR EACH OTHER? AND SPICE (if comfortable)? I know that's two prompts so you can just do whichever one is more interesting to you if you feel bombarded by this request my bad 😅

Thank youuuuu ❤😁

Summary: While Stephen is in the Illuminati‘s universe, he meets Superior Iron Man.

Ko-fi | Masterlist | Word count: 1.2k | Part 2

Chapter’s Notes: I‘m going with the first prompt, because inspiration struck and this was fun to write.

He didn't have time for this, Stephen thought while he was led before the Illuminati - what a ridiculous name, who had thought it up anyway?

Mordo introduced the member, but Stephen’s eyes darted to the empty chair on the far right. He wondered who was missing in this weird club. But the Illuminati demanded his attention and told him what had happened to the Stephen from this universe, how they had managed to defeat Thanos.

Okay, so apparently his variant had come up with that ridiculous name. Stephen was a little disappointed in him.

But Stephen didn't have time for this chitchat. He and America needed to get moving. The Scarlet Witch was on her way. He tried to reason with the Illuminati, he tried to warn them but they didn't listen. They were all too arrogant to believe the threat that was about to arrive.

His gaze kept wandering to the empty chair. He felt drawn to it, although he didn't know why.

Suddenly a shadow appeared at the large window behind the chairs of the Illuminati. Glass shattered as something broke through it. Cursing silently, Stephen first thought it was the Scarlet Witch, but then he heard the familiar sound of repulsors and he froze.

"A party and I didn't get invited?" Tony was hovering in the air, His suit in a silvery white instead of the flashy red and gold. His eyes - a bright chrome blue - were fixed on Stephen as he flew closer to him. Stephen's mind screamed danger.

Tony ignored the other people in the room, who were just a second away from attacking him. "I couldn't believe it when my data told me you're back. But my tech never makes a mistake."

Stephen just stared at Tony. His mind told him that if there were variants of each person in all universes, it was only logical that he would also meet a Tony Stark sooner or later. Yet he couldn't believe it. He had seen Tony die. His sweet precious Tony.

And this one here was nothing like him. His suit had no face plate, it didn't even cover his hair. It seemed more a part of the man than it ever did on his Tony. As if he was melted into his technology. His gaze was cold, calculating, and Stephen shivered but not in a good way.

Tony grabbed his jaw and eyed him closely. "But you're not him, are you?"

That was when Captain Carter spoke up. "You are no longer a member of the Illuminati, Stark! Leave."

Tony let Stephen go and finally acknowledged the others. "Now that you mention it... yeah, I remember something like that." Thinking, he tapped his finger against his chin, then clicked his fingers as it came to him. "That's right! I left when you decided to kill him." He spat furiously.

"You know what he did," Reed reminded him.

"He did what he had to do. And he saved all of your asses while at it."

So much was going through Stephen's mind. He tried to follow what happened, when he heard a loud crash from inside the building. All heads turned to the door.

"The witch arrived. I'm sure you can handle her just fine." Tony's voice was dripping from sarcasm. He seemed almost amused.

The Illuminati exchanged glances and Mordo decided to keep an eye on Strange and Stark while the others took care of the problem. He jumped down from the gallery as the others left and approached Strange. "I would have been fine with never seeing your face again. Bad enough I have to look at that hideous statue every day."

Mordos were all the same, Stephen thought, while he tried to infuriate him. With the other members of the Illuminati gone, he had a realistic chance to escape and continue his journey with America.

Except that Tony was faster and simply killed Mordo. He cut him in half without a warning. The lifeless body fell to the ground in front of Stephen and the sorcerer stared at Tony.

"I've wanted to do that for quite a while," Tony grinned and it was all teeth. "He dared to replace you in the Illuminati. You understand that I can't allow that." He stepped across the body to Stephen, who took a step back. "I'm curious. Tell me about your Tony."

"He sacrificed himself to defeat Thanos." The thought of it pierced Stephen's heart. "It was the only way," he whispered more to himself to sooth his nagging guilt.

"Tsk." Tony was displeased. "You let me die? I'm disappointed in you. You’re weak." With each step he took forward, Stephen backed away another. "If you were stronger, you would have found another solution." He raised his hand and his repulsor blast lit up, aimed directly at Stephen. The sorcerer raised his arms defensively. In the next moment his handcuffs fell off.

"They still have the audacity to use my tech." Grumbling, Tony turned away.

Sounds of battle and destruction could be heard from the lobby.

"The witch will kill them," Tony said as if he were talking about something trivial. "I wish I did it back on Titan. This is not as satisfying as I imagined it to be." He looked toward the door, as if considering going after them and getting his late revenge.

"Anthony," Stephen said softly and Tony's head snapped to him, his chrome blues eyes ice cold.

"Don't you dare to say that name like he did! Don't think you are my weak spot. I am superior."

"To who?"

Tony's laugh froze the blood in Stephen's veins. "To everyone," he said as if it were obvious. "He knew that. Oh, he was supreme. The only one who could kinda keep up with me." With his ideas. His ideals.

Stephen gritted his teeth. This was wrong. Tony Stark may was a douchebag but he was also a sweetheart, with a heart of gold. He was human. The Tony in front of him maybe looked like him, talked like him, but he wasn’t even remotely close to his lost love. The Tony in front of him was filled with a whole new level of arrogance - hubris seemed to be a constant in this universe. He was consumed by something dark, and Stephen was sure it had nothing to do with losing his Stephen Strange. This was deeper.

Stephen shook his head to focus. "You are a menace." He should have been frightened, but surprisingly he remained calm. Maybe because this day had been too long, and after all he'd seen today, this was just the tip of the iceberg. Or maybe it was because this was still Tony in a weird and twisted way, and even if it wasn't his Tony, he could mean something.

"You flirt just like him," Tony chuckled. "Say, what did you call me in your world?"

"I called him mine." It was the single most confident thing Stephen said today and he held Tony's gaze.

"Good." Tony seemed satisfied with the answer. "Maybe I'll pay you a visit when you're back home. If you make it there alive." It was a promise and a threat. Stephen shuddered. Tony flew backward toward the window. "Don't disappoint me, Stephen." With a wink, he threw him a kissing hand, and left.

Stephen stared after him. His mind tried to grasp everything that just happened. It had gone quiet in the building and a small, warning voice told him that he had to hurry. He had to get America and they needed to leave. He couldn't let Tony distract him. The first priority was to survive. If he managed to do that, he could worry about everything else.

Tony, meanwhile, flew through the city and called up the data his suit had just collected on his visor. He had made several scans of this Stephen. With that, it wouldn't be hard to track down his universe. The Illuminati didn't know that he still had full access to their database - he had access to every database in the world - and all known universes were categorized there.

Tony's day just went from good to great – he found a new toy to play with.

[thefanficmonster]

All The Colors

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Colorblindness, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: The colors are not always seen but rather felt. Just like Y/N feels the colors through their best friend and boyfriend Corpse. That’s how they realize that what they can’t see is the most beautiful and genuine feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing something and someone so deeply.

Requested by my dear friend Lulu, who you might have known as greenieofshield. Unfortunately she’ll never get to read this fic and I’ll never forgive myself for not putting it out sooner but I’ll also never forgive the universe for being so cruel as to take her away so early. She was one of the best people I’ve ever met, always so full of optimism, always there to brighten up my day and make me smile. Always so strong and brave, never falling victim to the hate she received despite not being deserving of it. The world lost an angel the day she died and I as well as so many other people will forever miss her.

Love you and miss you with my whole soul and hear, Lulu. Hope they’re treating you right in heaven ❤

For what it’s worth, Y/N has never asked people to describe the colors to them. In their eyes that seemed like the equivalent of poorly patching up a wound: they could hear thousands upon thousands of descriptions of each color and still wouldn’t be able to imagine it. The descriptions would only make that worse to them. So to avoid feeling even more like they’re missing out they never asked.

However, that doesn’t mean they haven’t developed their own way to ‘visualize’ and imagine colors throughout the years. They’ve tried loads of different methods, few of which stuck around and not for long either. That is exactly why they frequently used to tell their friends: “You can’t paint me a rainbow with black and white and shades of grey and expect me not to feel like I’m missing out on something. Paint me the gloomy sky on a rainy day and only then we’ll be even cause you’re seeing the same greys I am.”

Little did they know how drastically their logic was about to change in the following years.

Speaking of said following years - they met Corpse who became one of their best friends in practically no time. And within just a few months of that friendship’s blossoming, a romance sparked. A romance their friends would jokingly refer to as ‘romance of a lifetime’. Maybe it was said jokingly but Lord knows they weren’t wrong in saying so because the two were completely head over heels for one another -s till are to this day - and never shied away from showing it.

Y/N and Corpse met through Rae who Y/N was staying with while on a little vacation to Los Angeles. To be even more specific here, the two met through a game of Among Us, the game responsible for many wonderful friendships since its release.

“Guys, guys, guys.“ Y/N said after sparking up a bickering session for falsely accusing ‘blue‘ of faking a task in Navigation during the final round for the day, “Here’s a little rule of thumb for whenever we play together again: don’t trust me if I accuse a color instead of a name.“ It’s safe to say that statement rose a few eyebrows in the Discord call, the confusion serving as amusement to them before they explained themself, “Oh, why that is? Hm, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m colorblind.”

Rae who was in on the scheme the whole time and was struggling to hold in her laughter finally snapped while the rest of the players were left processing the information that had been dropped on them.

“But you practically kicked our ass every single round?!“ Corpse said, amazement and confusion in his tone.

“Expect the unexpected from this schemer, take it from someone who’s known them for a decade now.“ Rae said, winking at her friend from across the room. Not failing to notice the blush on their cheeks while doing so though.

“Corpse, are you calling me a good liar?“ They poked a stick at him teasingly, desperately avoiding Rae’s gaze which widened the second she realized why her friend was so flustered by Corpse’s remark.

“Practically a con artist.“ He replied to them with a laugh, earning one from them in return.

And so they practically conned him into falling in love with them with their quick wit, sarcasm and cuteness. If someone is to ask Corpse if he expected to fall for Y/N, he’d probably say yes.

“They were like a magnet the moment they entered the lobby and started talking.“ He said once on a live stream in response to a question he received in the chat regarding Y/N, “It wasn’t hard at all, falling for them. What took me a while was realizing it. While I was referring to them as ‘best friend’ all my friends were rolling their eyes and going ‘Sure, bud.’ Just took me a bit to realize why.”

Luckily, it didn’t take him too long to grasp what his heart was actually screaming at him. Good thing they came to terms with it so soon too, otherwise they would’ve driven their friends insane.

Anyway, enough about what happened and what could’ve happened under one circumstance or another, what matters is the ‘here and now’ of their relationship. And trust me when I say it has never been better and it keeps getting better every day.

The beauty of what those two have is in the tiny every day things that they do for each other, the good morning texts even though the other person in probably just in the kitchen making breakfast while the other cannot find it in them to get out of bed; or it’s laced within the calls between them when neither of them are home or at least one of them is out and about, busy with a task they’ve probably been putting off for far too long. Don’t get me wrong though, the romantic gestures aren’t rare either. Random gifts are exchanged by them on regular intervals but one consistent and super romantic gesture that repeats a few times every year (of the two years they’ve been dating) is Corpse giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers.

A detail Y/N couldn’t help but take notice of was the fact that the bouquet was always made up of the same flowers with only small changes to the arrangement of them and maybe some tiny ones added too. Unfortunately, they aren’t artificial so they couldn’t have kept them thought they wish they could’ve. That being said, it goes without saying that those flowers mean the world to Y/N, the gesture actually - they know flowers are a common gift to give but anything they receive from Corpse is so special and makes them feel like the only person who’s ever received such a gift.

And so they got curious, they had to ask. They had to ask the question they never thought they’d actively ask considering their view of the topic. But they still did.

“Hey Corpse.“ Y/N spoke up out of the blue, breaking the silence that had fallen over them while they watched the movie they were only partially interested in given how exhausted they both were from devoting themselves to their respective tasks and responsibilities throughout the last few days.

Corpse hummed in response, the arm wrapped around their waist doing a little motion as if encouraging them to continue, his gaze immediately traveling down to his partner.

“What color are the flowers?“ They asked, gazing at the bouquet - a gift they had received from him for their birthday a few days prior - in the vase on the dining table.

They waited a few seconds but when they didn’t hear nor feel any sort of response from him they couldn’t help but look up at him. Upon doing so, they saw his small smile as his eyes too remained on the bouquet. “They’re black and white.“ He replied eventually, “Black roses and white daffodils.“ His gaze wandered away from the vase and down to meet theirs, “I don’t want you to think I’m seeing them in their ‘full beauty’ while you only see them in black and white. You are seeing them in their full beauty and not missing out on anything. They are absolutely beautiful black and white as they are.“

As a response to his answer, Y/N couldn’t suppress the growing smile on their face no matter how hard they tried. So they didn’t try at all, they let the smile lighten up their face before speaking up: “You’re a wonder, Corpse.” They said, pushing themself as upright as they could to be able to kiss his cheek. “However, you’re wrong.” They say when they pull away, smirking up at his confused expression, “My world was black and white until you came into it. You’re all the colors, Corpse. Your love’s red, joy’s yellow, sadness blue, chaos green. Love red. You’re all the colors and out of all the people that have tried to describe to me how they look, you have managed to do that just perfectly without even trying.”

Little did they know that’s exactly what he thinks of them - their world is black and white because all the colors live within them. Because they are all the colors.

And maybe they both are, seeing as how they came into each other’s lives exactly like the rainbow after the pouring rain.

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[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

______________________________

Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

______________________________

Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 7 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren woke up with a pounding headache and no memory of having gone to bed.

This would not have been a surprise had he been at home, as his routine was blissfully static and required no thought whatsoever – each item he needed in its proper place, each movement mapped out through years of practice, his entire body trained such that he would automatically begin to go through the necessary acts at the appropriate time and would immediately begin to feel sleepy once he started the sequence – but it was highly notable that such a thing would occur while he was out of the Cloud Recesses, where each day’s sleep would only be the same in terms of the time at which he fell asleep.

In this case in particular, he also felt sore all over – his head, as mentioned, but also his upper arms and, oddly, his right knee. Had he been exercising unwisely? The bed in the room he had been given at the Sun Palace was not that nice, too hard and unyielding, but it wasn’t enough to cause this sort of aching…

“I will see to it that the next bed lives up to your stringent standards.”

Lan Qiren’s eyes shot open and he sat upright at once: that was Wen Ruohan’s voice.

“What are you doing in my –” he started to say, then stopped.

Wen Ruohan was not in his bedroom.

He wasn’t in his bedroom.

He didn’t even recognize this bedroom.

It was massive, for one thing: a full suite, the way the hanshi was back at home, with place for a bed and a table and plenty more besides. The bed was similar in style to the one in the room he had been assigned but larger in scale – made of dark wood and covered in the red sun motif like all the other décor, but over twice as broad and an extra chi in length, and the brocade fabric used to upholster it was considerably more lush and luxurious and, admittedly, more comfortable than what he’d been sleeping on in the Sun Palace’s guest quarters. The room itself was the same, decorated in luxury extending to the point of opulence: there was a painting scroll on one wall that if genuine would be worth more than everything Lan Qiren owned put together, young master of a Great Sect or not, and on the other wall hung six swords, each more glorious than the next, and he suspected if he knew more about weaponry he would be able to recite their names.  Even the red sun that was painted on every ceiling here glittered with embedded rubies and spiritual stones, emanating pure qi – a tremendous waste, each one of them sufficient to be a cultivation sect’s precious treasure.

Amidst all this luxury, Wen Ruohan was sitting not far away from the bed, a book held loosely in his hands – it was as if he’d been waiting for Lan Qiren to awaken.

“I think you’ll find, in fact,” Wen Ruohan said, and his eyes were glittering the way they had been the day before when it had been Lao Nie he’d been looking at, full of malice and self-indulgent amusement, “that this is my bedroom.”

This was not a surprise, but rather the only logical conclusion.

Not that it explained why Lan Qiren was here.

“Did I – fall asleep?” he asked uncertainly, though surely that must be the reason. “And you – brought me here?”

“You did, and I did,” Wen Ruohan confirmed, and seemed amused for some reason. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Lan Qiren wracked his brain, which was hurting and unhelpful and slower even than its usual plodding pace. “…I was thinking that liquor tastes vile.”

Wen Ruohan’s smile broadened. “Mm. It seems that you inherited your grandfather’s head for wine.”

Lan Qiren’s grandfather was one of the elders who refused to obey the rule against alcohol. He had also, in his later years, developed a most un-Lan-like fondness for wine.

He had not at any point developed a tolerance for it.

Lan Qiren closed his eyes in a wince. He must have made a complete fool of himself!

“This foolish junior apologizes to the Sect Leader for his misbehavior,” he said. He wanted to lift his hands to salute, but the movement, when he started it, set off his stomach, and he was forced to wrap his arms around his midsection instead.

There was a rustling sound, robes moving as Wen Ruohan rose to his feet, but Lan Qiren kept his eyes stubbornly closed, fearing that any further input would cause him to bring up everything he’d consumed the night before – only to open them in shock a moment later when he felt a finger press against the acupoint between his eyes, a warm stream of spiritual energy pouring in to cleanse away the nausea and pain of his headache.

Of his hangover.

He had a hangover.

Wen Ruohan, the mighty Sect Leader Wen, was providing him with medical attention to deal with his hangover.

There weren’t going to be words for how much he was going to get punished when he got home.

“Thank you, Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Qiren croaked, feeling hot all over with unending mortification. He had truly been foolish to think that just because there was only one night left in the Nightless City there was little danger of him repeating the mistakes of the past – he had no face left to speak of.

“Oh, no need to be so formal,” Wen Ruohan said, drawing out the words in a drawl. “Not after such a memorable night.”

Lan Qiren did not want to know what he did to make the night get described as memorable. He did not.

Especially not since Wen Ruohan was so obviously enjoying himself over it.

Of course, he wasn’t an idiot: he might be slow and bad at social cues, might find it difficult to understand the unspoken or keep up with sarcasm, but even he knew what was being implied here.

An older man with a younger one, liquor shared, a bedroom…

Yes, he understood the implication.

He just wasn’t stupid enough to believe it.

Lan Qiren folded his hands together and held his head up high.

“It is good that the Sect Leader did not take insult at my foolishness,” he said stiffly. “I thank you for your care and attention, and regret the burden I placed upon you.”

If anything, Wen Ruohan looked even more amused. “Such dignity, little Lan. You’re not even going to ask what happened?”

“This junior is only sixteen,” Lan Qiren said, still stiff and icy. “There is nothing that could have taken place without Sect Leader Wen’s approval, and naturally Sect Leader Wen would not permit this junior to offend his dignity.”

There, he thought with some satisfaction. That neatly turned the situation around: even if something untoward had occurred, which honestly Lan Qiren did not believe past that first initial moment of panic – even putting aside the fact that he wasn't anywhere near sore enough for something like that to have occurred, Wen Ruohan was not known to succumb easily to lust, nor was he so eager for war that he would recklessly try to deflower the son of another Great Sect while the latter was intoxicated for the first time – the blame would fall squarely on Wen Ruohan’s head, not Lan Qiren’s.

Wen Ruohan laughed, understanding perfectly well what Lan Qiren meant.

“You would think so,” he said, sounding almost approving of Lan Qiren’s rule lawyering. “I would have thought so, too, but I find that you Lan have truly remarkable arm strength…especially when trying to keep your conversational partner from escaping while you explain the difference between what the Lan sect consider to be fundamental rules and those considered ancillary.”

Lan Qiren blanched.

That was worse than what he’d thought – because unlike the notion of him making unwanted advances (or receiving them, for that matter), it was plausible. Terribly, painfully plausible.

“Oh, yes. All five iterations of the debate.”

Oh no.

“Four sect discussions. Seventeen separate texts on the subject, not counting later commentaries. Sixty-four subsidiary rulings, all of which you were very enthusiastic in recounting - and here I was thinking that your Wall of Discipline had a surfeit of rules, when in fact it was only the beginning. Apparently, I underestimated you.”

Lan Qiren buried his face in his hands as if that would make it stop. 

“Still, I suppose I’ll have to accustom myself to hearing more about the rules in the future,” Wen Ruohan mused. “We’ll be spending far more time together, after all, on account of our sworn brotherhood.”

Lan Qiren looked up and opened his mouth, then stopped.

He had nothing to say.

His mind was absolutely blank, a state which had never before occurred.

“Forgive me,” he finally spat out. “Our – what?”

Wen Ruohan smiled at him with eyes full of poison and a mouth full of teeth.

“Sworn brotherhood,” he said casually, as if it was nothing. “You were saying that you regretted not being able to see more of the Nightless City before you left, and that you could only leave the Cloud Recesses to visit family, so we became sworn brothers.”

“We did not.”

“Oh, but we did,” Wen Ruohan said. “We drank mixed wine and swore all the appropriate oaths – I have the written version here, if you’d like to see.”

The piece of paper he put in front of Lan Qiren was recognizably in Lan Qiren’s own hand, although his normally impeccable calligraphy was rather wobbly. It was still readable, though, and the first few clauses very clearly laid out a sworn brotherhood oath.

Lan Qiren stared at it.

“We – but we can’t be sworn brothers,” he said blankly. “We’re – you’re two generations older than me. Am I supposed to call you da-ge?”

“No one has called me da-ge since my youngest brother died,” Wen Ruohan mused, and Lan Qiren was abruptly reminded of the rumors, never confirmed, that that particular death had come at Wen Ruohan’s own hands following a challenge for the seat of sect leader. “It’ll be very charming, I’m sure.”

“But…”

Wen Ruohan said nothing, but only smiled at him.

Lan Qiren looked down at the paper.

He didn’t understand what was happening.

He tried to go over it again in his mind: he had left the competition when the celebration had started, he had wandered the halls, he had tried to obey his brother’s instructions in avoiding Wen Ruohan, and when that failed, he had obeyed him in trying to be obedient. He had drunk liquor for the first time, and he had no memory thereafter until he had woken up here and now, in Wen Ruohan’s bedroom, with Wen Ruohan saying that they had –

He didn’t think Wen Ruohan was teasing him over this, though. Not the way he had so obviously been with his implications that they had used the bedroom for purposes other than sleeping.

Not with evidence, written in his own hand.

He didn’t understand.

How could this have happened?

“…did we really?” he whispered, half-hoping against hope that it was still a tease, still a joke, still – something, anything, other than what it was. That Wen Ruohan was just waiting for him to declare that he believed him, to demonstrate dismay, and then he would tell him the truth.

“Yes,” Wen Ruohan said instead, inexorable. “We did.”

Lan Qiren’s mind fell into chaos.

He didn’t understand.

He didn’t understand.

“You’re shaking,” Wen Ruohan observed. “Ah, little Lan – don’t tell me it’s now that you’re scared?”

Lan Qiren’s hands were in fact shaking, he observed, and he put them over his face.

“Why would you do that?” he asked, his whole body starting to rock back and forth in his distress. “Why would you – with me – an oath of brotherhood can’t be taken lightly –”

“It can’t be,” Wen Ruohan said, and for some reason he sounded satisfied. “Certainly not for someone like you, little Lan, who always keeps their word and does not lie.”

“But why?” Lan Qiren asked, his voice rising almost into a plaintive wail. “Our sects aren’t even allies.”

“They are now,” Wen Ruohan said, and put his hand on the back of Lan Qiren’s neck. It felt hot against his skin, like a hot stone used for massage – a little too hot to tolerate for very long. “You know the obligations of a sworn brother oath as well as I. My duty as the elder brother is to guide you and care for you, support you and yours, and in return you are to obey me and be guided by me.”

Did Wen Ruohan want a spy in the Lan sect? Lan Qiren wondered wildly. But surely there were easier ways than this – not only would he make a terrible spy, with his clumsiness and his terrible social skills and his inability not to take everything seriously, but it would be simple enough for his sect to counter such a move. All they would need to do would be to cast him out…

His rocking intensified.

Wen Ruohan brought his other arm around him and pulled him close until Lan Qiren’s forehead, with its forehead ribbon still firmly in place, was pressed against his chest.

“Don’t cry, little brother,” he crooned. “Am I to allow a priceless painting to be kept by those that see it only for its use as spare kindling? A peerless treasure sword left to prop up a door?”

“You have a half-dozen swords hanging on your wall, each more priceless than the next, and all of them rusting away for lack of use!” Lan Qiren cried out. “Even if it’s only a door, at least it’s – it’s my – my brother…”

“Do not worry about your brother, undeserving as he is of your sincerity. Qingheng-jun has been trying to get concessions out of me this entire conference,” Wen Ruohan said. His breath was warm against Lan Qiren’s hair. “I’ve been refusing, but now I’ll grant them. He won’t punish you.”

“That’s not how that works. Punishment isn’t inherently bad; it’s meant to correct and guide the individual – the failure of good conduct will always be my own, no matter the result –”

“What I have taken into my hand, no one yet lives who would dare seek to take away,” Wen Ruohan said. “Anyway, it’s too late to regret now, isn’t it? What’s done is done. Don’t you have a rule like that?”

Lan Qiren sniffed. “No. There are at least four that could potentially qualify as having similar underlying meanings, but none directly on point.”

Wen Ruohan huffed. “Little Lan, if I tore out your heart, would you have time to cite one of your sect rules before you died?”

“…maybe if it was a short one?” Lan Qiren said, blinking at the strange question; his lashes brushed against Wen Ruohan’s lapel. “I mean, there’s a difference between ‘Be loyal and filial’ and ‘Set the wise as your teacher and the moral as your example’, isn’t there? And of course you’d have to consider whether in tearing out the heart you impeded the lungs, and how much time it would take the exsanguination to take effect…”

He was calming down, he realized, and pulled back out of Wen Ruohan’s arms, blushing as he realized that the question must have been meant as a distraction, though how Wen Ruohan had realized that a distraction would be the best way to reduce his distress when even he hadn’t known, he had no idea.

“Thank you for your consideration,” he mumbled, ducking his head in embarrassment.

Wen Ruohan started laughing.  

“Truly I have found an unappreciated treasure, unlike any other,” he said amid his chuckles. “Come along, little Lan. Let’s go break the news to your brother.”

[lorenzobane]

Harebrained Scheme

AN: Written for @trektober-challenge first installment- namely Prime Directive, but more specifically inspired by some of @fractal-baby discussion about Spock’s absolutely insane plans. It was written pretty quick and definitely playing fast and loose with timelines, but set after ST:ID but before ST: Beyond. Can be read as pre-Spirk, but the major relationship is Jim & Sarek chatting. 

Can be found on AO3 here

Being kidnapped and held with his First Officer’s father was never exactly the plan for Jim. There are, in fact, a lot of people Jim would rather be kidnapped with. Namely, the aforementioned First Officer Spock.  

But as it stands-- 

“We have been held here for approximately 2.3 hours,” Sarek says after a moment of silence. 

Jim nods, “don’t panic.” 

Sarek gives him a look that plainly says Vulcans don’t panic. “I am simply stating a fact of our capture.” 

“Yes, sir,” Jim says patiently. “I’m aware of how long it has been.” 

“The temperature is several degrees below Vulcan standard,” Sarek pointed out. 

“I am aware of that as well,” because Jim was. Whoever their enemies were, they knew who they had kidnapped. The temperature is holding steady at a place where Jim is uncomfortable but is draining Sarek. 

Sarek says nothing and continues to observe the cell around them calmly. Jim has been pacing since he woke up about an hour ago. It’s a plain white room with no windows and no doors as far as he can tell. He’s tried clawing at just about every inch of the sterile space, and as far as he can tell, nothing gives. 

“What are the walls made of?” Kirk mutters to himself. They don’t feel like metal or even plastic- they radiate the coolness as if they’re some type of natural product, but the way the room is sealed tells him some kind of technology is involved. 

Sarek cuts into Jim’s thinking with a, “I believe these are made of Betazoid limestone.” 

“What makes you say that?” Jim asks. With Spock, he’ll usually prattle for a few minutes, discussing density and texture before giving him an answer as straightforward as his father. 

Sarek looks at him in surprise, “you are not able to tell?” 

Jim resists the urge to reply with sarcasm. Sarek isn’t Spock, which is plainly apparent in every interaction they have. Though Spock always seems extremely calm and balanced to Jim, being around his father makes Jim aware of how much more emotion and variation Spock regularly expresses. 

“No,” Jim says. “I haven’t spent much time on Betazoid.” 

Sarek nods, “I was briefly an Ambassador there in my son’s youth. He was very fond of the rock and found its cool texture pleasing.” 

“I thought it would be illogical to find a rock pleasing,” Jim replies without thinking. 

Sarek is quiet for a moment before responding with, “yes, indeed it was. However, as my wife put it to me then, there is nothing illogical about curiosity. The desire to explore. I am not sure I agree with her, but I have never been successful in curbing my son of any habit he does not wish to break.” 

“He can be stubborn,” Jim replies with amusement.

A mild understatement if Jim has ever said one. Though he is always respectful and never veers into full-on insubordination, Jim now understands what Pike meant when he referred to Spock fondly as an ‘extremely independent First Officer.’ Jim doesn’t mind it, maybe even loves it- the way Spock is relentless when he is convinced of the correct course of action. The argumentative (logically debated, in Spock’s words) messages and memos coming at all hours until Jim either gives in or says the phrase, “drop it, that’s an order.” 

Which, at the very least, shuts him up for a shift or two. 

“Do you believe they will be able to find us?”

Jim shrugs, his communicator is still on his person, and he tries it every few minutes, but he keeps getting static. “None of my messages are going through, but as you mentioned, your son is very stubborn and an extraordinary Starfleet officer. If anyone could rescue us, it would be him.” 

Sarek nods again, and they sit in silence while Jim continues to search every square inch of space. It doesn’t make sense- unless their captors beamed them into the room, there is no way for them to have entered without a door of any kind. 

“My son,” Sarek says, somewhat awkwardly pulling Jim out of his observation of the walls once more. “How is he-- I mean to say, I recognize as one of the very few Vulcans at Starfleet, and now as an endangered species, it may be challenging for him.”

Jim kindly doesn’t say that Sarek didn’t actually ask a question and responds with, “the crew loves him. He fits in great and has a surprising number of friends. The kids in the Science department all think he’s some type of rock star. The amount of transfer requests I get specifically for his division is getting out of hand.”  

“Rock star?” Sarek repeats back. 

“A term for an old Terran classical musician who was known for extreme popularity,” Jim responds with some curiosity. Spock is exceptionally familiar with Terran classical music and had known precisely what Jim had meant when he used similar phrasing. Still, Jim supposes that perhaps he picked it up in his many years on earth.

“I am gratified to hear this,” Sarek replies, somewhat slowly. Jim jerks up, alarmed, when he realizes that it appears that each blink is getting slower and slower as if he were fighting falling asleep. “He has so few affiliates on Vulcan.”

“Really?” Jim asks, surprised. 

For all Spock can be logical, sarcastic, and moralistic to the point of exhaustion, he’s also a kind friend, a shockingly understanding commanding officer, and a good sport about most things. He even participates in some ship-wide events, like the talent show where he played some genuinely excellent Vulcan lute. 

And purely for Jim’s amusement, played a lute version of a truly ancient Terran classic that Jim has a soft spot for, Wildest Dreams. 

“He… Was an unusually brilliant student,” Sarek says, still slow as if fighting for words. Jim realizes with an urgency that he should probably try to keep Sarek talking to keep him awake. 

“Vulcans didn’t like brilliant students?” Jim asks with amusement. The idea of Spock being a nerd among nerds is somewhat hilarious. 

“No, they did not like an unusually brilliant half-human,” Sarek replies, his voice for the first time that Jim has ever known him touching with a hint of sadness. “And he was… Willful. Unusually brilliant, and ferociously unselfconscious about his mother.” 

Jim laughs a little at that, rubbing his neck unconsciously, “yes, I definitely learned the hard way that you shouldn’t insult his mother.” 

“As did many,” Sarek says, his eyes closed. “He had a violent physical altercation when he was eleven for a similar reason. It was that disrespect of his mother that ultimately caused him to turn away from the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“He didn’t go to VSA because they insulted his mother?” Jim asked, surprised. “Why would they insult Amanda anyway?” 

Sarek takes a sharp breath at the casual use of his wife’s name, and Jim feels terrible. After months of playing chess with Spock, they had begun discussing their childhood and Spock often spoke of his mother glowingly. He had insisted that they use her name to honor her memory. 

“They referred to her blood as a disadvantage. I knew the moment they said it; he would never accept a place that looks down on humans. He could be illogically loyal.” 

“His illogical loyal behavior saved you on Vulcan, and it saved earth,” Jim replies, his voice sharper than he intends it to be. 

Sarek opens his eyes at that, slowly and blearily, “I did not mean that negatively. I have come to find that many of the traits I viewed as… Aberration in him, in his youth, has come to define his tremendous successes.” 

Jim doesn’t say, though he dearly wants to, that viewing his child’s personality as an aberration at any point is pretty illogical. Still, Spock is a subject that Sarek is willing to stay awake and speak about, so Jim asks, “like what?”

“Well,” Sarek says wryly, “his disregard for rules he simply disagrees with. It is, presumably, the reason that he works so well with you and your idiosyncratic leadership style.” 

“I would not say that Spock isn’t interested in the rules,” Jim replies with surprise, the betrayal of Spock’s report after they saved him from a volcano still kind of stings. 

“He follows the rules he believes in avidly, that is true,” Sarek says, his voice does hold amusement now. “But he regularly ignores them if he wishes to. I presume you are referring to his report after the events of Nibiru?”

Jim jerked in surprise, “how did you know--?” 

“My son and I have been keeping close correspondence after the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother. We are attempting to… work through the strain our relationship was put under while I worked through my disappointment that he did not go to the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“Isn’t disappointment illogical too?” Jim asks. It is hard for him to hear the casual way Sarek describes his feelings towards Spock when Jim truly and completely believes that his First Officer is one of the finest beings he has ever encountered. 

Sarek makes a noise of agreement, “you are correct. Vulcans may take a vow to control our emotions, and we certainly may attempt to utilize logic in most decision-making. Still, there is no doubt that our species can be vulnerable to prideful behavior.” 

Jim, having beaten Spock at chess a few times, can attest to that. 

“What did he say about Nibiru?” Jim asks, curious now as to how Spock described the events to his father. 

“I believe,” Sarek says again, his voice rich with amusement now, “that you saw yourself as the rule breaker in this scenario. However, after listening to his entire recounting, I must ask you- whose idea was it to freeze the volcano?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “Spock’s. He had been reviewing the geothermal events on the plant. He calculated the likelihood of explosion was incredibly likely, so he asked if he could try one of his experiments to save the planet.” 

“You realize that the plan itself, from its initial conception, violated the Prime Directive, do you not, Mr. Kirk?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “what?” 

“It is against the Prime Directive to interfere with a planet’s destiny in any way. Then, the matter of his cold fusion device. An entirely novel invention that had gone through no formal testing, no review process… He simply believed it would work, conducted experiments in his free time, and wanted to use it. And had a captain who trusted him.” 

Jim blinks again at Sarek. “But… But…” 

Sarek leaned his head back, “do not feel bad. He was somewhat infamous for this when he was a boy. His capacity to convince his instructors that his personal pet projects were highly logical and beneficial regardless of external forces was… Remarkable. And in you, I think he has finally found a place where his prodigious intellect is not being checked by constant regulation.”

“Spock always follows regulation,” Jim defends on instinct, his mind reeling. 

“He always follows the ones he believes deserve to be followed,” Sarek corrected. “He has always had a somewhat unusual penchant for attempting novel actions without the traditional Vulcan tendency of deep contemplation.” 

Oh, the thought hit Jim suddenly. Spock is a Vulcan bad boy. Jim doesn’t know why he finds that so shocking; Spock does, after all, go along with a majority of his plans and even comes up with half of them. Even more damning, if Spock did not agree with a course of action, it relatively rarely ends up occurring. 

Which means… Spock is actually as goddamn reckless as he is. 

Jim isn’t sure how he feels about this revelation. 

“He... He tricked me!” Jim cries out eventually, unable to contain it. 

“But as I have said,” Sarek adds, his voice is shallow and slow now, “I have come to realize… These qualities, his capacity for creativity, and quick thinking have allowed him to become the most remarkable of us.” 

“I’m glad that you could see what we have always seen,” Jim says, though he’s more using the royal “we.” 

It took him considerably longer to see what was right there in front of him, but once he had, it made sense to Jim that Spock had been a popular professor, First Officer, and Advisor in his time at Starfleet. 

“I was unwilling to admit it, but I was worried when he chose Starfleet. So far from his people, alone and living in an abundance of difference. Vulcans can be quite homogeneous.” 

“Infinite diversity in infinite combinations,” Jim quoted from Spock’s eternal sermons. 

“Ironic that it is a Vulcan philosophy when so many of us view the world so similarly,” Sarek said, inclining his head slightly. “However, in a land of difference, he was able to find a space for himself that he was unable to find with his people. He always did appreciate adventure, read illogical books with his mother like Alice in Wonderland and Sherlock Holmes. Even Shakespeare which his instructors on Vulcan never enjoyed.” 

Jim raised his eyebrows again. Spock often quoted fanciful literary classics in trying situations. Still, it never entirely occurred to him how oddly poetic and even artistic that would have made him in a different place. 

“I hope he knows that I hold him in high regard,” Sarek says after a moment, and his eyes drift shut again, his breathing going slow. 

“No,” Jim leaps up. “No, you can’t. I can not be responsible for the death of two of Spock’s parents.” 

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek says with exhaustion, “do not worry. I can place my body into a healing trance that will allow me to remain stable for an extended period of time if need be. The Betazoid limestone will make us challenging to track and as such--” 

Just then, there is a loud thudding noise on the wall to their right, like something heavy just rammed into it at full speed. 

A thudding again, and then Sarek shudders awake, “Spock?” 

Jim doesn’t hear anything but Sarek does because he turns to Jim and says, “please move 3.87 feet to your left.” 

Three seconds later, a thud outside the wall gives way to what appears to be an ancient wrecking ball. 

“What is that?” 

“I think it is your crew, Captain,” Sarek says. 

Another beat and a large stone crash through the wall using a device that is an ancient Terran wrecking ball. 

“Captain,” Spock said calmly through the hole he just blasted through the wall. “I see you’re unharmed. Father, it is gratifying to see you safe as well.” 

“Glad you got to us in time; we were running out of gossip about you,” Jim says with a smirk as he slowly starts to try to clamber through the slightly too small hole. 

“Please refrain from joking,” Spock says, guiding his father through the hole much more gracefully. 

“Who’s joking?” Jim replies. 

Spock looks to his father with an eyebrow up, and Sarek responds, “while I would not term it “gossip,” the captain is correct, and our mutual affiliation with you helped pass a majority of the time.” 

Jim nearly cackles at the brief look of horror that passed over Spock’s face when he replies with a steady, “indeed.” 

Jim smirks and is silent while Spock focuses on calling the Enterprise to beam up. 

And much later, when Spock asks him what they discussed while Spock and Jim played their usual game of chess, Jim can be entirely honest when he says, “your many admirable qualities.” 

It’s definitely worth the way Spock’s ears turn a light green. 

[darthkruge]

Can we have some dad ani x mom reader where leia goes to her first date with han and Anakin is so overprotective till the reader talks some sense in him?

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Family

Summary: Anakin goes into Dad Mode when Leia is going on her first date with Han and the Reader helps him realize he’s being a tad overprotective. 

Warnings: Slight language, Anakin being overprotective, Reader being amused by Anakin’s antics, the usual (by that I mean fluff)

Words: 1.4k

A/N: Omg of course! I love Dadakin and so yes I think yes <3. I know you asked for mom!reader but I tried to keep it gender neutral, I hope that’s okay! Also I really thought I’d mess this up horribly but I’m kind of… happy with it?? Shocking, I know. Also I’m sad because mans deserved a family smh. I didn’t know what to title this for the life of me but it’s okay.

gif credit (x) (he looks so freaking pretty i cannot cope)

“Nope, not happening!” Anakin said, pacing around your Coruscant apartment.

“Dad, please!”

“No!” 

Leia groaned, looking to you for help. “Please tell him he’s being ridiculous!”

You nodded towards your daughter knowingly. “Anakin, come on, she’s old enough, it’s fine!”

“Y/N, no! Have you seen the guy? He looks like he’d… I don’t know… leave his fingernail clippings in the bathroom or something! Or not tip after going out to dinner because he had to keep his singles ready for the strip club!”

You snorted at your husband's comments, watching him walk a hole into your floor as your daughter helplessly ran her fingers through her hair.

“You can’t just make the decisions for me! You’re supposed to trust me! I like him, I have good judgment. This isn’t fair and you know it!” Leia’s anger was palpable as she spoke, her words sharp. 

Anakin’s eyes softened. “Look, Leia, I know you like him. But I know guys like him, he’s bad news. You’re not going.”

Leia looked like she was about to scream so you decided this was a good time to intervene. “Ani, come talk to me in the kitchen please?” You said, basically dragging him by the arm. 

“Y/N, come on. Are you seriously considering letting her go out with him?”

“Yeah! I am! Anakin, we can’t protect the kids forever! Listen, I’ve seen him interact with her, he’s different. He’s kinder, sweeter. I don’t know, I just think we should let her do this.”

“But he’s a notorious asshole!”

You conceded. “I’ve heard. But still! Look, Leia’s a good kid, she’s logical, and she can definitely hold her own if he’s shitty. And don’t you think we should try not to judge until we meet him ourselves? Besides, on the off-chance this date is a mistake, isn’t it better she finds out now when she still has us to help her feel better afterwards? I don’t want our daughter to be so sheltered that she’s unprepared later in life.”

Anakin nodded, running his hands up and down your arms. “I know, my love. You’re right. It’s just hard for me to see her growing up, I don’t want her to get hurt. I’m her father, I’m supposed to protect her and I just- if this Han Solo idiot messes with her it’ll be my fault.” 

You cupped your husband’s cheeks in your hands. “Listen to me, Ani. You can’t protect everyone, especially not from their own decisions. You have to let her do this.”

Anakin, dramatic as always, groaned and threw his head back before finally meeting your gaze again and nodding. He put his hand on the small of your back, guiding you back to the living room where your daughter was anxiously waiting. Her head perked up as the two of you walked in.

“You can go, sweetheart.” You said, gently.

“Really?! Thank you!!” Leia ran up to you and hugged you. You squeezed her back. Even though you were less protective about dating than your husband didn’t mean that you liked the idea of her going out with some guy that had a rocky reputation, at best. 

Leia broke away from you and walked up to her father. “Thank you, Dad.”

Anakin hugged his daughter close. He would do anything for his family and loved all of you more than life. You smiled at the scene in front of you. Watching your husband interact with your children was one of your greatest joys. 

Hearing someone knock at the door, you all broke apart.

“Okay! Bye!” Leia said, moving to leave.

“Wait, wait, wait! We need to at least see this young man before your date!” Anakin said, moving to open the door.

As he saw Han leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in a very cocky manner, it took every ounce of power he had to not slam the door in Han’s face. You smirked at your husband’s expression and moved to let Han inside. 

“Han!” Leia said as Han ran up to meet her.

“Hey, princess,” He said, picking her up and spinning her around. 

You looked up at your husband’s face, seeing his jaw ticking slightly. You laughed and gestured for him to lean down. “Okay but you have to admit, that was cute” You whispered in his ear.

Anakin let out a small huff but you could tell he agreed. He just put his arm around you and cleared his throat. “Home by 11, okay?”

“Home by midnight?” Leia asked hopefully.

“Fine, okay. Midnight, but not a minute later!” Anakin said. You chuckled. He was a sucker for her; he couldn’t say no and you all knew it. 

Han nodded at you and Anakin and Leia waved as they stepped outside, and then they were off. Anakin immediately bolted over to the balcony, craning his head.

“Anakin what the hell are you doing?”

“Shh! I’m trying to see which way they’re going so I know which route to take.”

“Which route to take?”

“Yeah! When I go follow them.” He said, as if it was the most normal thing ever.

“Anakin!”

“What?”

“You can’t go follow them!”

“Like hell I can’t!”

“Anakin Skywalker if you ruin this date for our daughter I will divorce you faster than you can say ‘lightsaber’” 

“But Y/N-” 

You cut him off, laughing slightly as he pouted at you. “No! Love, come on inside, let’s have dinner and watch something on the holoprojector while we wait for her to get back, okay?”

Anakin sighed, nodding in agreement. You shook your head, smiling as you took his arm and walked back inside. Instead of moving to the kitchen, Ani plopped both of you on the couch, taking a moment to just think about how lucky he was.

“Thank you for caring about our family, Ani” You said softly, breaking the silence.

“Always, angel. You really think it’ll go well?”

You thought for a moment. “Maybe. And if not, that’s not something we can control. Now can we please go eat before you come up with another crazy idea, like dressing Ahsoka up in a disguise to go and pretend to be their waitress?”

“Now that you mention it, that’s actually-”

You shut him up with a kiss. Anakin gently bit your bottom lip, asking for access which you happily granted. He shifted you so you were sitting atop his lap, your thighs straddling his hips. His tongue slowly entered your mouth and you moaned softly at the feeling. You were completely entranced by him and loved every moment of it. 

“How did I get so damn lucky?” he asked as you broke away. 

“I’m not sure. But I am pretty special, aren’t I?” You smirk.

He looked at you with adoration. “Yeah, you are.”

The two of you spend the night eating food and end up curled back on the couch, enjoying each other’s company and the cool breeze. Finally, the doorbell rings and your heads perk up.

You were surprised to see Han still with Leia, not expecting him to walk her to the door. The two of them were smiling at each other and you couldn’t help but smile back. From the corner of your eye, you saw Anakin’s lips were curling up, too. At the end of the day, all you wanted as parents was for your children to be happy. 

“Goodnight, princess.” Han said.

“Goodnight, scoundrel!” Leia shot back at him, turning away to walk inside. 

You waved goodbye to Han before slowly shutting the door and looking at your daughter. 

“So you’re dating scoundrels now?” You said, eyebrows quirked.

Leia rolled her eyes. “Proudly.” 

You laughed. She definitely picked up the sarcasm from her parents. 

“Did you have fun?” Anakin asked.

“What, no third-degree?”

“What, would you like an interrogation?”

“Nope! Thanks!” Leia said quickly. “It was… it was good. I have a feeling about him. It was exciting, you know?”

You smiled, thinking back to one of your first dates with Anakin. He took you out on his speeder and you swore you were going to die. Even so, it was the most alive you’d felt in a long time and you knew that if someone could give you that feeling, they were a person you needed to get to know more. “Yeah, I know, sweetheart. I’m glad you had such a good time! Now, get ready for bed, okay? It’s already pretty late.”

“Okay, okay,” Leia said, still pretty giddy from the evening. As she disappeared to her room, you turned back to your husband.  

“That went pretty well, don’t you think?” Your tone was light, teasing. 

Anakin nodded. “Alright, yeah, don’t go gloating about it too much.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

-----

the link to join my taglist is in my pinned! if your username is crossed out, that means that for some reason i couldn’t tag you. please dm me if you would like to be taken off <3

permenant tags:

@saltybreaddream @buckysbeloved @lolquarth

anakin tags:

@anakinswhore @kennedywxlsh @coldlilheart @adamgetawaydriver @chokemeanakin @gayidioot @starwars-whore @katelynnwrites @haydens-moles @serpntines @anakinlove @rowley-with-ackerman @dexthtoyounglings @babykinskywalker @cluelessgurl @april-showers-and-flowers @astxrias @beiroviski @captainshazamerica @alyssa-skywalker 

[remedialpotions]

For Better Or Worse

“Hermione?”

She doesn’t even open her eyes. Her face, which just seconds ago had been relaxed in sleep, is now clearly tightening in exasperation.

Ron’s used to this, though. They’ve built a whole relationship - a brand-new marriage, even - on her finding him slightly more charming than annoying. And he figures that if he can’t sleep with all these thoughts racing through his head, well then, neither should she. She’s supposed to stick by him no matter what, right? It had been in the vows. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health... he reckons one anxiety-ridden night definitely falls under all of that.

Hermione mumbles something incoherent in response, and he takes it as his opening.

“Would you divorce me if I lost one of my eyes?”

Her eyes still don’t open. “Yes.”

“You would?”

“I married you specifically because of your eyes,” she continues, words heavy with the last vestiges of sleep and all the patience she possesses, “and would absolutely leave you if you lost one.”

“Hermione, I’m serious.” He sits up, the duvet falling onto his lap, and now her eyes do open. “What about if all my hair fell out?”

She blinks at him. “I’ve met your father,” she points out, “so I’ve already accepted this as a possibility.”

“All right, fair enough. But what if I, like... lost a leg?”

“In what scenario are you losing a leg?”

“Erm, I was an Auror, and now I work for George. It’s a bit weird that I haven’t lost a leg yet.”

She sighs, and rolls onto her back. “There have been a lot of advancements in regenerative potions over the past few years, so chances are-“

“I’m not asking what St. Mungo’s would do, I’m asking what you would do. Y’know, as my wife.”

Assuredly, she nods, like this is a question in a job interview and she feels confident in her answer. “I’d find you an excellent Healer, and I would stay married to you.”

Ron considers this. Pictures himself hobbling around on crutches for the rest of his life, with Hermione dutifully helping him along. “All right, but would it be begrudgingly, or-“

“Oh, for God’s sake, Ron-“

But now that it’s begun, he can’t halt the barrage of horrible scenarios that might befall them, things that might test the vows they so gleefully made to each other last month in Gretna Green. They’ve just committed to each other for the rest of their lives, and now dozens of years stretch out before them.

Ron has not the faintest shadow of a doubt that this is what he wants. But Hermione... well, he knows she loves him, but they’re very different people. He’s ruled by his heart and his emotions, but she’s... logical. Pragmatic. Sensible.

“What if it was both legs?”

“My answer stays the same.”

“Both legs and both arms?”

“You know what,” snaps Hermione, pushing herself up on her elbows, “I’m not going to divorce you over any sort of horrible disfigurement, but I might do if you keep up this line of questioning.”

It’s easy to ignore this last bit. “I’m just trying to figure what your dealbreakers are-“

She frowns at him. “I don’t have any.”

“None?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be here - I wouldn’t have married you in the first place.” Silence follows, broken only by the rustling of the blankets as she sits up and brings herself eye-to-eye with him. “What’s this really about?”

He shrugs, hoping it comes off casual. “Just wondering how you’d feel about having a husband with a peg leg.”

“A peg leg?” she repeats, goggling at him. “You mean like a pirate?”

“Is that appealing to you?”

She frowns at him. “Don’t change the subject.”

“You’re the one who brought up pirates.” But he’s been arguing with her for more than half their lives, and he knows he can’t do what he used to do: mask his true feelings with sarcasm and witty jabs. All it ever did was come between them. He just has to talk. “I know you love me, and I know you married me. And I’m still not entirely sure why you wanted to, but I’m thankful as hell you did. But...”

“But?”

“You married this version of me. Y’know, young, healthy, whole head of hair, all my body parts in tact.” He swallows, mouth dry despite the humid summer air in the room. “But what about-“

“What about nothing,” Hermione interjects, and though her voice is firm, she sounds just as effortlessly confident as ever. “I did marry this version of you, but not just this version of you. I married every version of you.” Something inside him unclenches as a smile crosses her lips. “No matter which limbs you might inexplicably lose in the future.”

“Again, I work for George,” he reminds her with a grin. “It’s not so inexplicable.”

The blankets rustle again as Hermione moves to straddle him. Her soft weight settles on his thighs, fingertips slipping into his hair. “I’ll take my chances.”

Her face tilts down, and he leans it to meet her lips halfway. “So, really?” he says, voice low, fingers toying with the hem of her shirt. “No dealbreakers?”

“None.”

“Even if my knob fell off?”

Groaning, she drops her forehead onto his shoulder. “You’re impossible.”

“You love it.”

“Yes,” she sighs, moving in to kiss him again, “I really, really do.”

[yetanotherhoeforpedro]

Sinfully Armored

Summary: After Din Djarin had lost everything: his ship, his child, his way, and found himself as rightful leader of the Mandalore, he’s glad when an opportunity arises to escape all of his responsibilities. Grogu doesn’t seem to adapt well to his destined life in the New Jedi Order and handling the little rascal is simply too much for Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, who has to rebuild the entire Jedi Order and help in the founding of the New Republic. As a last resort, he contacts the mysterious Mandalorian, who seemed to have formed a strong bond with the Jedi foundling, to help Grogu accept his Jedi heritage and finally let go of the past. What Mando didn’t know is that on top of being given the chance to escape his duties, he’d meet you.

Notes: see ‘Sinfully armored’ on AO3

Chapter 1 - Strange Revelations 

It has been the Maker knows how many days since you arrived at this desolate planet in the Outer Rim. The planets where you had to scout for Imperial Scum all started to blend into one after weeks and weeks on this expedition. The same dreary landscapes, shady people and shabby buildings on every single one. The Empire has left its dirty imprints throughout the entire galaxy and its people, including you.

The rundown bar you found yourself in right now must have seen better days as well. You swirled your drink lazily and scowled at the remaining dregs. This next part of your job was always the worst, impossibly done sober. You absolutely despised any kind of peaceful interaction with sympathizers of the Empire, even though you knew hate was not an emotion you should feel as a Jedi.

You drowned your glass in one big swallow and smoothly slid the it across the counter with a few credits. Before the bartender even reacted to your movement, you were already gone. The mud made an unsatisfying, squelching sound under your boots as you maneuvered through the narrow streets of Wakuda. Your nose scrunched at the mere smell of the place. Why the secret underground organization you were supposed to track down chose this of all places to build their base is beyond you, but you guessed it fit their morals.

As you neared the location you tracked the Imperial scum down to, you noticed a few snipers on the roof of the half-ruined building in your peripheral. Deep down you hoped they’d be skilled just so that you’d have a bit of a challenge as a distraction. They weren’t, since they didn’t even notice you until you were too close. Maybe their stupid helmets blocked their vision, you couldn’t even blame them. A quick swipe of the force knocked them out and you proceeded with your task.

Through a crack in the roof, you could spy on the meeting taking place underneath you. You leaned down a bit to get a better view and watched the scene unfold.

There were 6 people assembled in the room, but the woman at the head of the table stuck out especially to you with her glowing red hair. When she raised her voice, everyone went quiet. This woman clearly had an air of authority surrounding her. She began in a conspiring tone: “Fellow members of the First Galactic Empire, I have called you here today because troublesome news reached me. The New Jedi Order of Luke Skywalker keeps gaining more and more power. If the New Republic is backed by such a strong force of Jedi knights, our chances of rebuilding the Empire are slim to none.” The woman surveyed the room full of expectant eyes. No one dared to interrupt her. “So, we must take action. I have already contacted Grand Admiral Thrawn…”

The rest of her sentence didn’t reach your ears as you heard that name. As far as you knew, the notorious man died during the Battle of Endor with most of the other Imperial generals. If there was any truth to her claim that he was still alive, the New Republic and everything you stood for was in great peril. The old hatred started to boil up inside of you once again and it was all you could do to not jump down there and finish all of them in your fit of rage. To calm yourself, you reached deep into the Force as Luke had taught you. You reminded yourself that it was him and the Jedi’s goal of a peaceful galaxy you were doing all of this for and the discussion that broke out beneath you abruptly caught your attention again.

“That’s absolutely impossible! How would we even train those children? It’s not like we have a Sith Lord to train them!” a small man with shockingly pale skin exclaimed. “Leave that to me and the more experienced generals, we have everything under control. All you need to do is collect the force sensitive children from the systems I’ll send you out to,” the woman answered. The small man nodded once and the woman seemed satisfied. She pulled out a little device, flipped a switch and a holographic map appeared at the center of the table. As you glanced at the map, something pocked at the back of your mind. Why did it look so familiar?

But before you could observe it more closely and identify the feeling, the comm at your wrist vibrated. Luke always had such an unfortunate timing for someone so in tune with the Force. You cursed under your breath and accepted the transmission. After all, he wouldn’t contact you if it wasn’t important.  

“Report back to the Jedi Temple immediately,” he stated. “What? But I’m in the middle of a mission! I just made a discovery of great importance,” you protested. “Alright, but get back as soon as possible. May the Force be with you.” The connection snapped and you focused on the meeting again.

“Do not disappoint me,” the woman commanded. That was an obvious dismissal. After cursing Luke’s awful timing once again, you decided to track the leader of the meeting, which couldn’t be too hard, considering her hair was shining like a beacon. However, as you scaled down the building and looked down the street, she and her co-conspirators had vanished into thin air. How odd. But it was a blessing of sorts because you were eager to get off this planet and return to the Jedi Temple. Thrawn was alive?  It was all you could think about as you cut through the winding streets of Wakuda once again. The man who had taken so much from you had not been avenged? A sick part of you was thrilled about the opportunity to get revenge yourself, but it was outweighed by your general anxiety.

The sudden gleaming of a hull caught your eye and your pace quickened. As you turned around the corner, the magnificent ship arising before you obscured the view of your tiny, wreckage of an X-Wing. The rusty ship had accompanied you on many missions and despite its state, you had grown quite fond of it, but couldn’t be bothered to clean it. It wouldn’t matter anyway; it would just get dirty again in the next place you landed. You climbed into the cockpit and took off.

As you activated hyperspace, you tried to shake Thrawn off your mind and it quickly filled with other enigmas. You reconsidered the strange Déjà-vu you felt when you saw the map. You were sure you had seen it before sometime, but when and where exactly? Why would you have seen an imperial map? And how could they have left without a single trace? Who was the strange woman?

After pondering about these questions turned out to be futile, you began to wonder what could have been urgent enough for Luke to call you back from your mission. While you would have been jumping at the chance to finally leave these shitty systems under normal circumstances, the situation just got interesting and all you wanted to do was track the Imperial scum down and kill them one by one before they could do any more harm. But Luke had to lecture you on discipline far too many times and this mission was your chance to show him that he could trust you.

Still…How would you ever find out where they had gone now? You should have damned Luke’s orders and followed them somehow when you still could, what if they got to the children first? Shit, why didn’t you think straight? It seems like all of your focus and composure had left you once Thrawn’s name had perturbated your thoughts. All of the old grief and hate resurfaced again and threatened to drown you.  

You took a deep breath and pushed those emotions as far back as you could. The logical action right now would be to contact Luke immediately, he needed to send out someone else to stop the bandits. While you were short on Jedi, the New Republic would sure have someone to take care of the problem. If only you knew where they went, they’d be long gone if the Republic needed to investigate their whereabouts first. You sighed and called Luke.

“What’s wrong?” His hologram appeared in front you instantly. “A lot,” you responded dryly. “You’ll not be pleased about what I just discovered – before I was so rudely interrupted by you, that is.” He frowned at your sarcasm, this was obviously not the time for it, but you couldn't help it. It had become a sort of coping mechanism for you, a way to shield yourself from issues lest they touch you personally. “Grand Admiral Thrawn – or some doppelgänger of him – is still alive and in direct contact with the leftovers of the Empire.”

Luke was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. “That is bad news indeed, I’ll need to inform Leia and Han so that they can alert our troops. Your assistance has been most valuable to us,” he replied finally, oddly formal. Still, you nodded curtly at the approval.

“Wait,” you intercepted as he was about to disconnect. “Unfortunately, there’s more. I overheard that they plan to rebuild the Sith Order, but on a far grander scale. I only caught a glimpse, but they had some map that directs them towards force-sensitive children all across the universe. While I have no clue as to how they would train them – unless they had a secret Sith Lord up their sleeves as well – we cannot let them take the children. The Jedi Order needs them.”  This time, Luke’s silence lasted even longer, to the point where it was almost painful. You forced the words forming on your tongue to fill the silence back – yet another nervous habit of yours – and mirrored his quiet. Until you gave in and broke it: “I did not disappoint when I warned you that I had some bad news, huh?”

Luke gave you a no-nonsense-look. “No, you did not. Do you think you can recall the map and lead us to the children?” he inquired. “Um…I’ve tried, but to no avail. However, the map looked oddly familiar. No idea where I could have seen it before, but I trust my instincts.” You shrug, though it doesn’t reflect your sentiments in the slightest.

“You said this map leads them to force-sensitive children?” he repeated slowly, more to himself. “Yeah.” – “In that case, I might know just where to look.” Before you could ask him what he meant by that he was gone. You let out an exasperated sigh. He took the whole mysterious Jedi image way too seriously, in your opinion.

You spent the rest of the flight dissociating in space, as one does. In a way, you were doing the meditation exercises Luke taught you. Time bent around you, it could have been minutes or hours until you arrived back at Coruscant. The blinding lights of the capitol made you snap back to reality as you swiftly descended.

------------------------

You spotted Luke, facing the wall, quickly as you entered the council chamber, which was empty except for him. The few other “Jedi” seemed to be on missions as well. The “Council” consisted of a bunch of half-trained Jedi knights and one other survivor of Order 66, Master Vamora who appeared too fragile to still be an active fighter, but he was a stubborn old bastard. Not that it wasn’t an immense blessing to have at least one Jedi of the Old Order in your midst who was fully trained. He was extremely cranky and righteous though.

Luke turned back around to you. You did a double take as you took him in, seeing what the hologram had concealed. At first you noticed his eyes and the black rings underneath them, then the hollow of his cheekbones, his general paleness and crouched stance. He looked really exhausted, to say the least. Not being able to hold yourself back, you commented: “What happened to you? You look like you went through some shit.” At that, you earned a small grin from him that made some of the color reappear on his face.

Your heart jumped a little at the sight, you had to admit he was quite handsome, especially when he smiled. It wasn’t just ideological reasons keeping you in his Jedi Order after all, although you felt a twinge of guilt every time your stupid, horny brain produced these immoral thoughts. It was absolutely illegal for a Jedi to harbor such feelings, much less act on them, at least according to your set of morals. Luke himself had been conceived out of such an improper relation and since he did not grow up learning about the old set of Jedi rules, he had seen no use in implementing any such rule in his Jedi Order (much to the displeasure of Master Vamora, who had quite a lot to complain about today’s youth). You, on the other hand, had been indoctrinated the old set of rules from a small age on and you tried to stick to them in honor of those who saved you from your horrible fate and the sacrifices of those who had not been as lucky as you. But Luke did have a point. He claimed that love was not a crime or a weakness to be punished but rather a virtue that differentiates you from those who strayed to the Dark Side. Frankly, he was just a little too horny for his own good. He was well known for his bohemian lifestyle, sharing his bed with both men and women.

“That’s why I had to call you back here. I am being tormented endlessly by a little green monster,” he replied with a smirk on his face, pulling you out of your thoughts. You raised an eyebrow, but before you could inquire further, the door slid open behind you and you snapped around.

This day just kept getting weirder, or maybe you were extremely sleep-deprived as well. There was a Mandalorian with a little green creature that eerily resembled Master Yoda (if he were young and cute instead of old and wrinkly as he had appeared the last time you saw him) cradled in his arms standing in front of you. His armor was unlike any you had ever seen before, pure beskar and shimmering as it reflected the bright city lights. He looked exactly like the legendary warrior race of Mandalore you had only ever heard rumors about, straight out of a myth. Considering those rumors, didn’t they absolutely despise the Jedi? Suddenly alarmed, you pulled your lightsaber from your belt. The Mandalorian didn’t move, only cocked his head to the side. Even though you couldn’t see his face underneath the helmet, you felt like his eyes were piercing you. You stared right back at him, not moving an inch, thumb resting on the switch of your weapon, ready to activate it should he attack. Not that your lightsaber could do much damage to him, as he was dressed in beskar from head to toe. But what about the child in his arms? Maybe he wasn’t up for a fight after all. With a sick disappointment – how challenging would it be to fight such a legendary warrior? – you put your weapon back on your belt again. The Mandalorian kept staring at you, standing still as a machine.

This time it was Luke who broke the silence, as you were too entranced to say anything at all.  “There is the source of my eternal torment.” He strolled up to you in a relaxed manner. It was his calm posture and the underlying humor and fondness in his voice that kept you from attacking the strangers. The green creature turned its head and stared at you innocently with its huge, black eyes. You sensed it suddenly through the Force and did a double take in surprise. It reached its small arms out to you, but the Mandalorian took a step back from you rather than let the child closer to you. “This…this is why you called me back?” You shot Luke an incredulous, slightly offended look, to which he returned another wicked grin. “Yes.”

“Elaborate, please?” You didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in your voice. “This is my good friend…” He gestured to the Mandalorian. “Um, I actually don’t know his name, I just call him Mando. Everyone does.” He smirked at the warrior. “And this little fellah is Grogu, a Jedi foundling I took upon me to train.” The look Luke gave the child was so full of love that it seemed almost too intimate to witness. “Mando saved him from the Empire and took great care of him. Frankly, he cared for him too well. Grogu has formed such a strong attachment to him that it’s nearly impossible to train him. The little rascal is incredibly stubborn if his daddy isn’t around.”

A bit more enlightened, but still unaware of your place in this family drama, you waited for Luke to continue. “Since I have a ton of obligations, I don’t have time to train the little one and detach him from his savior.” Oh no. You hoped this wouldn’t be heading in the direction you thought it was. “You, on the other hand, have less responsibilities.” Fuck. "So, I decided that you should train him. And let his dad tag along until he can let him go.”

No fucking way. “I am not a damn babysitter! Neither do I care to get involved in this clearly complicated family structure! I have a mission, Luke. I need to get to those…,” you paused, suddenly all too aware that you had an audience, “…thieves and stop them.” Luke grinned at you, as if he expected that answer from you. “Isn’t it super convenient that our friend Mando here is a professional bounty hunter, eager to earn a few credits from the Republic?”

You shifted your gaze back to the silent warrior and the kid. “I am supposed to train this rip-off Yoda while on a mission? That’s just pointless, I won’t have time to teach him anything at all!” you pointed out. You were not interested in training another Jedi, especially not one that resembled Master Yoda and everything you lost so much. “You’ll have plenty of free time while traveling through space and he can learn a lot more in real situations than I could ever teach him,” Luke argued. “You want us to take him along on a hunt?” a modulated voice interjected. “No way, that’s far too dangerous for him as long as he’s untrained!” Luke wasn’t kidding about the bond, the man in armor clearly cared deeply for the child. Interesting.

“You need to stop being such a helicopter parent if you want him to live an independent life,” your Jedi companion retorted. You couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped your throat and a visor turned back to you. “I don’t trust her with my child”, the Mandalorian stated curtly. You scowled at him. “You shouldn’t have brought him to the Jedi if you had a problem with him being in the custody of a Jedi,” you snarled at the intruder, suddenly not caring that you didn’t even want this child in the first place and simply wanting to disagree with him. “It’s not the Jedi I don’t trust, it’s you and your attitude.” – “Is it because I called him a ‘rip-off Yoda’?” You flashed him a sweet smile.

“I see you two’ll get along just fine,” Luke said, the corners of his mouth quirking up slightly. “You could leave for the first child tomorrow.” At that, your attention snapped back to him. “What do you mean? Did you find the map?” – “Of course, as it was our map they stole in the first place.” Now your Déjà-vu made complete sense and you cursed yourself for not having come to this conclusion earlier. Obviously the Jedi had a map with the locations of force-sensitive children – possible new Jedi. The situation was even graver than you expected. “Get some rest now, you seem to need it almost as much as I do.” Luke winked at you. Accepting defeat for now and realizing how exhausted you truly were, you gave Luke a short nod before departing from the room and retiring to your chambers to finally get some well-deserved sleep.

Chapter 2

Masterlist

[avversiera-writes]

touch your heart [senju tobirama/you] - chapter 6

Summary: Hashirama might go down as the worst matchmaker in history, but he thinks he might be on to something. Tobirama sees through his brother's schemes and is determined not to fall for it. Or fall for you.

Word Count: about 4k

AO3 LINK TO TOUCH YOUR HEART

AOR SERIES LINK TO ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART

[<<<CHAPTER ONE] [CHAPTER TWO] [CHAPTER THREE] [CHAPTER FOUR] [CHAPTER FIVE]

After the fiasco the other day with you, Tobirama tries his best to avoid you, despite the fact that his brother invited you to their home for dinner tomorrow. It’s not that he hates you or anything, it’s just that his mind is currently preoccupied with a new jutsu idea that he has been working on non-stop. He knows how impossible he can get when he is busy like this, and the more he spirals, the more he becomes reclusive and irate. He is aware of this and he does not want you to see this side of him. 

 Honestly, he does not want to give you any more edge to see through him. 

 He also does not want to hear you ask him if he’s okay. 

 He’s okay, damn it. This happens every now and then. 

 It will pass. 

Yes, he still thinks that you may be up to something, but at the end of the day, you are a person and he knows that you do not deserve this from him. 

 He tries to get through work as quickly and as efficiently as possible, and he exercises his patience more than usual because he knows decency .

 He notices the little things about you, like the bags under your eyes and the sharp lines of your cheekbones. You look more gaunt these days, and your worn-out clothes look larger than you. Speaking of your clothes, he figures out that you have at least five articles of clothing, and your sandals look like they are about to fall apart in your next step. However, he notices most of all that your weapons are some of the highest quality of weapons he has ever seen. 

 The way you wield them is also one of the best swordsmanship he has ever encountered, maybe, maybe , even second to him, but that is kind of overestimating you because he does not know your limits. You hold it specifically, with a very practiced and calm air, each arc and swing you make is calculated and dangerous. Your footwork is superb, and your instincts are great, as if you have spent all your life hunting and thinking on your feet. Despite not having any special chakra, he is secretly impressed with the abilities you have shown him. 

 You are also a good teacher, something he will not admit, and the only improvement he can suggest later on (when he is of sound mind) is that you can tone down your sarcasm because sometimes, kids are impressionable and they cannot read that clearly. 

 Another thing that bugs him is your relationship with Madara. 

 For all of his life, he has never pegged Madara to take someone under his wing, especially when that someone is a stranger and could possibly be a dangerous person. What did you do to make Madara take you in like you are one of his own? What did Madara do to make you so grateful to him that you follow him everywhere? Are you two planning something? 

 Those are some questions that he racks his brain over when he has the time, and he can keep asking himself and keep knocking that wall but he never gets anywhere. It’s not like he would willingly interrogate Madara over that too, though that is something he may have no choice but to do later on. 

Tobirama sighs, and he glances at you. 

He also finds that you are a very determined person, and he delights seeing that his teaching is working. Not that he would admit to that, either. No, he does not hate you, he finally decides that, but you make him face so many things that he’d rather not think about. 

 He thinks about the irony in that. Here he is, designing the rules that the shinobi should follow about setting your emotions aside for the mission, but he is falling a little short trying to stick to his rules. Aside from feeling disdain towards you, he thinks–and his mind has never failed him because for all the gods’ sake he is logical –that you are a pretty good person. 

He hears you leave quietly, and when you are gone, he lets out a breath he has been holding. 

 He just needs to be more patient, and this will all be finished. It won’t be long until he does not have to deal with you anymore. 

He tries to ignore a sinking feeling in his chest with that thought. 

//

You make it halfway through the river when your chakra flow gives up on you and you sink underneath the water again. 

 You stay under until you can no longer hold your breath, and you break through the surface with a gasp. You ride with the current until you notice your body getting more tired and heavy, so you make a break towards the bank and haul yourself up. 

 You think that was some good progress. 

You shiver from the cold, but you are also too tired to move and even make it home. You crawl towards your things and grab your coat and wrap yourself with it. You lean your back on a tree and you stare at the open scroll in front of you. Under the moonlight, you stare at the silhouette of Tobirama’s handwriting on the side of the paper. Compared to his older handwriting, his recent ones look deranged, like he has been writing quickly without looking where he is writing. You do not want to ask him to clarify what he wrote because he may think that you are making fun of him again. 

 You shake your head and you stare towards the river, listening to the sound of its flow. It lulls you to sleep, your thoughts going to Tobirama and your tiny discoveries about him, and for once, you have a dreamless sleep. The most peaceful one yet. 

//

When you come to, a face appears in your blurry vision. 

 You start and you hit your head at the bark of the tree. At the same time, your hand grabs at your wakizashi. 

Your vision clears and you see Tobirama staring at you curiously. 

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, and you rub the sleep off of your eyes. 

 Tobirama blinks, and he peers at you closer with wonder. 

You lean away from him. “Okay?” You frown in confusion and you study him. 

Tobirama is way too calm, and his eyes are relaxed. There is no malice in his gaze, and there are no wrinkles on his forehead. Is he drunk? 

You unsheath your blade, thinking that maybe, just maybe , this is a test of sorts. This is some clone of his and he is spying on you. You know that he is on to you, despite keeping a pretty clean record in Konoha so far. 

Tobirama’s eyes widen at the blade and he grabs your wrist and throws you to the side. 

You yelp, and you accidentally let go of your blade. You glare at Tobirama and you charge at him and tackle him to the ground. 

 Tobirama fights back, but there is a look of confusion and wariness on his face. You flatten him to the ground and pin him down, but he is a lot stronger than you and he manages to flip you over on your back. He presses his big, callused hands on your wrists, pinning them to the sides of your head. 

“Who are you?” Tobirama demands. 

 You stare at him in confusion. “What?!” 

 Tobirama’s eyes darken, and you sense that he really does not know you . What is going on? Is this a dream? 

You clash your head to his face, hitting his nose, and this is enough for you to bring your knees up and shake Tobirama’s weight off of you. You straddle him again, and this time, you reach for a knife strapped to your leg and point it towards his neck. 

“How dare you?” You drawl. 

 Tobirama’s eyes narrow. “Where am I?” 

 “Stop playing around,” you lean forward to press your arm against his neck, the tip of your knife pointing to his side, where his artery is located. 

“You attacked me first,” Tobirama says. 

 “Why are you acting like this?” You yell. 

Tobirama frowns in confusion. “I do not know,” he says in a daze. “Do I know you?” 

“Tobirama,” you utter under your breath, and dread washes over you. 

 “Is that my name?” 

You release your hold on him and you help him up. “Yes. You are Senju Tobirama. Are you fucking drunk?” 

 Tobirama tilts his head with curiosity. “Do you normally talk like that?” 

 You roll your eyes. “Haha, very funny. You got me. This is the best prank of the year, now stop.” 

 “I’m not kidding,” Tobirama frowns, and he seems upset. 

You stare at him with disbelief. You massage your forehead and you look to the ground. 

 “May I know where I am?” 

 “What? Shouldn’t you know? You founded this village!” 

 Tobirama frowns. “I did?” 

 You scowl. It is too early for this. “Yes. You and your elder brother, Senju Hashirama.”

 Tobirama nods, seeming to analyze this information. 

 “Do you know what today is?” You ask. 

 “Today?”

 “Today is Friday.” 

 “I see.” 

 You step closer to him, meaning to examine his head for any injuries, but Tobirama throws a punch towards you and you block it and grab his arm, then you aim a kick to his cheek to throw him down. 

“Why are you attacking me?” You shout, and you step on Tobirama’s chest. 

 “You were going to attack me again!” 

 “I was going to check if you have any injuries to the head, you bastard!” 

Tobirama stops fighting you and he sits up. “Well, now I will, because of you,” he taunts sarcastically. 

You huff in annoyance. “Damn it, you make my life harder.” 

 Tobirama raises a questioning eyebrow. "Really?" 

 You roll your eyes. "Whatever this is, I'd rather we find the solution as soon as possible." 

 Tobirama nods, his expression inquisitive. "It seems that I may be suffering from some kind of memory loss. A normal person wouldn't forget their name easily right?" 

You stare at Tobirama and sigh. "You aren't exactly the most normal person," you murmur. 

Tobirama peers at you. "Do we know each other?" 

 You roll your eyes, but then an idea pops into your head. "So you really do not know me?" 

 Tobirama puts his hand under his chin, thinking. "Naturally, I am starting to think that we are enemies."

 You guffaw. "How come?" 

 "Your first reaction towards me is to stab me." 

 " You were staring at me while sleeping, anyone would be surprised."

 "Your instinct tells you to stab someone when they look at you?" 

 You hum. "Sometimes. You do what you have to do to live." 

Tobirama stares at you, this time with an openness you have never seen him show. "You've had it hard, haven't you?" 

 You stare back at him, realizing that something must have really happened to this man. He has no memory, and there is a curious youthfulness in his demeanor. It's like he's free from all what plagues him as the Hokage's younger brother, as the smartest and most innovative mind of this generation. 

 You figure telling him a little more about yourself wouldn't hurt. 

You approach him and run your fingers on the sides and on the back of his head, searching for any bumps, bleeding, or cracks of any kind. 

 "Yeah, I kind of did. I came from a family who quitted being shinobi because of war, and as a result, I had to run from them…" 

 "Why?" Tobirama asks this question without his usual roughness and judging tone. 

 You smile bitterly. "Because in my family,  to keep women and children out of war, you either have to die or you die trying to run from them."

Tobirama grows silent. You find no injury to his head. 

 "I am sorry," Tobirama finally says. 

 You shrug, a little amused that it takes Tobirama's memories getting erased to make him apologize to you. 

"Never heard that before," you joke. 

 Tobirama frowns. 

"Okay, well, let's wander around and search for anything to get clues on how you ended up this way."

 Tobirama nods and he follows you as you begin to walk around aimlessly. You search for any disturbance on the ground to trace where Tobirama has walked, and finally, you find it, snapped sticks, smashed leaves and vague lines of a footprint. 

"Tobirama, you're either the worst drunk in history, or someone got you good." 

Tobirama looks around, and he looks to the branches above him. 

 "Which I find impossible since you claim to be the strongest shinobi, second to your brother of course."

 "I sound like a pompous jerk, is what you're saying." 

 "Hey, you're own words, not mine!" 

Tobirama smirks. "So tell me more about myself, it may ring a bell." 

 You ponder this. While it is fun to lead him on the wrong way, it is also dangerous. If he has been wandering around in this state, he is lucky if he has not run into anyone who would want to kill him. 

 "Stay close," you tell Tobirama. 

You find Tobirama’s things in the same path, and you bend down to examine them. There are no signs that he struggled, in fact, his things are neatly arranged like he had planned for this. 

You frown and you open his knapsack to go through it. You find his notes, hoping that he keeps some kind of record of his days. You skim through them, and then, his handwriting increasingly gets messier. 

 You take a deep breath, hoping that it is not as bad as you are thinking. 

 You read through his research notes, and while some of the information on it is advanced, you can now understand it due to the books Tobirama has made you read. You skim through it faster, realizing that Tobirama is in the process of creating a jutsu: he aims to make a jutsu that can wipe out memories. Your heart sinks as you read his last thought on paper.

  Since there are no immediate test subjects, I will have to test this on myself and hope that Elder Brother will notice my absence. If it works, that is.

"Oh, it worked well alright," you mutter tersely. 

Your head snaps up and you realize that Tobirama is not near you.

 "That bastard," you swear.

 You jump to your feet and you search for his familiar white head, when you notice him a few feet away, crouching down near a bush. 

 "What are you doing?" You ask as you step near him. 

 "Watching a snake eat a frog," Tobirama deadpans. "It’s something else." 

You watch Tobirama for a few more seconds, and then you walk over to grab his arm. “Come on, we have to go see your brother.” 

 “Ah, to find more information, I reckon?” 

 You purse your lips. “That, and to fix what you did to yourself.”

 Tobirama watches you curiously. “What do you mean?” 

“Are you insane?” You cannot help but scold him. “Why would you erase your own memories?” 

 Tobirama raises an eyebrow at you. You press his notes to his chest and he brings a hand up to get them. He flips through them, his eyes lighting up in delight. He nods in amazement as his eyes move right to left to read his own handwriting. 

“I seem to have a gift for experimentation.” 

 “You think?” 

 “According to myself, this is important work.” 

 “What?” You snap scathingly. “What part of important work is putting yourself in danger?” 

 He leans forward until he is only a breath apart from you. “If I did not know any better, I would think you care about me.” 

You look down to his nose to avoid his gaze. 

"What are we? Is there something between us?" Tobirama asks, genuinely curious. He raises an eyebrow, and he looks almost smug. 

 You cannot stand this Tobirama and even though you are going to regret it, you miss the grumpy one. 

 "Are you mad? You hate me," you snap. 

 Tobirama gives you a scowl. "If you claim that I hate you, then why were you the first person to be near me? I don't seem like the kind of person to just let anyone accompany me." He crosses his arms. "Even a blind person can see through your lies." 

 "Because you're mad, that's why." Your heart climbs up to your throat, making it hard to swallow.

 Tobirama starts to walk away, but he is heading in the wrong direction. 

 You follow him, and try to tug him the other way, but Tobirama is stubborn and he is curious about every little thing. You need to get Tobirama to his brother as soon as possible, or the two of you may run into trouble. 

“Okay, hey,” you start. “I promise that you’ll get more information if we just go back to your brother.” 

 Tobirama narrows his eyes distrustfully. “Nice try.”

 “I am not lying,” you hissed. You step in front of him to halt his steps, and you put your hands on his shoulders. “Use your chakra to check.” 

Tobirama glances down at you, and he tilts his head, thinking. Then he takes a deep breath. 

 “You can trust me,” you promise him. 

 Tobirama frowns, but you see that he believes you.

 “Let’s go, please,” you plead with him. 

//

Hashirama is not surprised that his brother decided to pull something like this. He had his brother sit on a chair and you watch as Hashirama puts his hands on the sides of Tobirama’s head and he begins to fix whatever Tobirama did to himself. 

 “When he was just a little boy, Tobirama was naturally like this, curious, a little rude, but he’s quiet most of the time,” Hashirama murmurs. 

 You smile at the thought of a young Tobirama, spending hours poring over a book and going on adventures to make discoveries about nature. 

 It takes a while, and when Tobirama has come to, Hashirama wastes no time to scold his brother. 

 The two are yelling in Hashirama’s office, and you try to make yourself invisible by making sure you do not make any sudden movements or noise. You slowly inch towards the door, but Tobirama’s eyes land on you and you freeze. 

“What is she doing here?” Tobirama snaps. “This is none of her business!” 

 Hashirama takes a deep breath, and he glares at his brother. “Stop treating her like that, Tobirama. If it wasn’t for her, you would have probably killed yourself in some way.” 

Tobirama scoffs, rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. “Oh, please.” 

 “I am going to leave now,” you tell them. 

 “No, stay,” Hashirama commands. 

 “Lord Hashirama,” you protest.

 “Elder brother,” Tobirama says at the same time. 

Tobirama narrows his eyes at you, the man you have met earlier gone. “She is not needed here.” 

 You roll your eyes. “Lord Hashirama, I really do not want to cause any more trouble.” 

There is a minuscule change in Tobirama’s expression, but luckily for you, you are able to catch it. It looks like a hint of embarrassment. Even though he is glaring at you, he can’t quite meet your eyes. 

“Yeah, you’ve done enough,” Tobirama starts. 

 Your mouth slightly drops open in shock. “Excuse me? Who was the one staring at me while I was sleeping like some creep?” 

 “You tried to stab me!” 

 “I was half-awake!” 

 “Yeah? Well it seems like your senses are not sharp enough to recognize me!” 

 “Who got themself in this mess anyways?”

 “My memory was wiped!” 

 “Because you’re insane!” You shout. “Who in their right mind would do that to themself?” 

 “It was for science and for the shinobi world!”

 “What a misguided argument.” 

 Tobirama opens his mouth, his eyes purely made from fire. 

“Enough! Sit,” Hashirama commands, no longer entertaining the two of them. “You on the other side, and Tobirama on the other.”

 “Elder brother, we are not children,” Tobirama says tersely, but he is currently moving towards his designated seat. 

 “Oh yeah?” Hashirama challenges. “Then quit acting like one, especially you, Tobirama.” 

You stifle a snicker as you lower yourself in your seat. 

Tobirama’s jaw sharpens, and his neck is starting to grow pink. Of all people to witness him getting scolded by his brother, it has to be you. Just his luck. 

 “No talking,” Hashirama says firmly and passes the two of you a stack of documents to read through. “And we leave together for dinner.” 

Tobirama’s expression withers, and reluctantly opens the document to start. 

 You catch Hashirama’s apologetic look towards you and you shrug, not really taking this personally. You find it hilarious that Tobirama truly acts like a little brother. You have never seen him more triggered and animated except with his elder brother. 

Another day means another interesting adventure with Tobirama. 

 You are not one to complain. 

  //

Tobirama’s face is stormy during the walk all the way to Hashirama’s household. There is a pout on his lips that would not go away and his glare is so severe that it wards off anyone who tries to greet them nicely. 

 Essentially, the walk was pretty peaceful, thanks to him. 

 You also stay quiet, your mind wandering to today’s events. 

 The only one talking your ears off is Hashirama, and you vaguely remember him bragging about his sons. 

Tobirama does not say anything to interrupt his brother, and as he hears more about his nephews, his face begins to soften and you observe this and try not to make it obvious that you are studying him. Hashirama notices this and gives you a funny look, but he does not comment on it and instead continues to chat, and tries his best to include the two of you in his one-sided conversation. 

 When you arrive into Hashirama’s house, you are immediately greeted with warm light and five boys screaming and hurtling towards their father and uncle. Tobirama picks up the youngest one without fuss who is barely able to keep up with his older brothers, who are tackling their father with their best. The eldest greets his father and uncle calmly but cheerfully, and he leads the chaos towards the kitchen. 

 You begin to grow shy as the boys peer at you curiously, and you give them a small wave. 

One of them gasps. “Is this uncle’s girlfriend?!” 

 You start, and Tobirama almost trips in on himself and almost drops his baby nephew. He looks to be around four years old. 

Hashirama cackles, the sound booming throughout the house. 

“Is she? Uncle always tells us about you!” 

 “No, I do not,” Tobirama cuts in. 

 You chuckle nervously. “No, I am not his girlfriend.” 

 His nephews let out a few sounds of disappointment. 

 “But she’s so pretty!” 

You blush and you pat the boy who gave you the compliment on the head. “Thank you, I am glad you think so. Your uncle, however, begs to differ.” 

 Another gasps at this. “He’s blind!” 

 “He says you’re annoying,” the youngest in Tobirama’s arms says, and he lays his head on Tobirama’s shoulder. He seems mellow and paler compared to his energetic brothers. 

 “Ah, so he complains about me, not talks about me,” you joke. 

Hashirama chuckles as he pushes his sons forward to keep them from crowding the hallway. 

 Tobirama puts a hand on his nephew’s forehead and he frowns. He whispers something to him, but his nephew shakes his head. It does not alleviate the frown on Tobirama’s face though. 

“Ah, here we are,” Hashirama announces. “Someone tell your mother that we are here.” 

 “I got it,” the eldest says and he disappears out in the hallway. 

With no room to sit except beside you, Tobirama sits his nephew next to you, and then sits beside him. 

The two of you stay quiet, barely exchanging any words with each other. Tobirama passes you a glass of water in silence, while Hashirama and his sons fill in the silence. 

 After a few minutes of waiting, Mito arrives and she is followed by her son and her maids, all carrying food in their trays and vases for drinks. Mito sits beside her husband and greets you, and you greet her back with your best polite voice. 

 Tobirama has told you once that you sound sarcastic even though you are being friendly. 

“How was Lady Anzu?” Mito directs the question to Tobirama, who glances towards you. “I received complaints that you left her behind in the street the other day in favor of another girl, who you apparently pushed down to the ground. I know you are a busy man, but please be courteous next time, Tobirama, I can only try to match you with so few ladies in Konoha and in the nearby lands. Try not to forget etiquette and send her a letter of apology.” 

 Tobirama gulps, and you give him a side-glance. 

 “I will,” Tobirama promises. 

You try not to cover your face from shame. 

An argument breaks out between Hashirama’s sons, but it is admonished through one strict look from their mother. 

 “We have a visitor, please behave accordingly,” Mito says. Her children obey her, and she directs her gaze towards you. “I hope that working with Tobirama has been fruitful.” 

 You nod. “It has, my lady.” 

 Mito gives you a funny look. “Mito is fine.” 

Everyone directs their gaze to Hashirama, and he starts dinner as the head of the family. He takes the first bite, and then signals for everyone to also take their fill. 

You help Tobirama’s nephew beside you, quietly handing him his utensils and wiping his mouth when he gets messy. 

 You notice Tobirama’s gaze on you, but you ignore it, just in case you accidentally meet his eyes and the events with Lady Anzu are revealed through your shared experience with him. 

The boy sneezes beside you and you chuckle lightly, immediately putting a napkin to his nose so that he can blow his nose. 

“Your sons are adorable, Lord Hashirama,” you comment. 

 Hashirama chuckles, his face lighting with pride. “Of course!” 

Tobirama’s nephew begins to lean on you after a while, and you notice that he is getting sleepy. You pat his head, and you frown as you notice that he is very feverish. 

“Hey, is he okay?” You whisper to Tobirama, not wanting to alarm his parents. 

 “He says he’s not feeling too well,” Tobirama replies, taking notice of the way the boy is leaning towards you. “I will get him settled in bed, then.” 

You surround your arm around the kid to help him towards Tobirama, and you also touch his hand, finding it cold. 

“Is something wrong?” Hashirama asks. 

 “He seems to have a fever,” Tobirama tries to take the boy into his arms, but a cry escapes his lips. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Tobirama soothes the boy. “I got him.” 

Hashirama nods worriedly. 

“I will have to go then, I wouldn’t want to extend my welcome,” you say. 

 Hashirama and Mito thank you for eating with them, and you get up with Tobirama and follow him out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

 “You need help with him?” You offer, feeling like you should help Tobirama a little bit. You follow your instinct. 

Tobirama looks at you doubtfully. “Fine.” 

You walk behind him as he leads you to the boy’s room, and he kicks away the toys loitering the floor. 

“I will be back,” Tobirama hands you the child and leaves the room. 

You rock the child in your arms to comfort him, and you resist the tiredness settling in your arms. You are not used to carrying children. 

Tobirama comes back with towels and a basin, and he directs you to lie his nephew down on his futon. In silence, the two of you coordinate to wipe the child and dress him into clean clothes, and tuck him into his futon. Tobirama presses a smaller towel on the child’s forehead, and studies him. 

 After a moment, his hand comes away. 

 “Well, the great thing about having Hashirama as your father is that you’ll be fine and dandy tomorrow,” he tells his nephew. “There is nothing your father cannot cure.” 

You gaze at Tobirama, watching how gentle and kind he is towards his family. He is very attentive to the way he takes care of his nephew, and you are not going to lie, the sight is making your heart soft. 

 “Is it serious?” You ask. 

 Tobirama shakes his head. “No. Like I said, he’ll be okay tomorrow once Hashirama checks in on his son.” 

You chuckle lightly. 

 The two of you lock gazes, and a calm washes over you, something that has not happened to you in a while. You are always moving about, running and defending yourself. At this moment, Tobirama makes you feel safe. He might be callous at times, but he has never given you any reason to fear him. 

 For that, you are grateful. 

“I should go,” you break the silence. 

 Tobirama clears his throat. “I will walk you out.” 

You want to decline his offer, but nothing comes out of your mouth as he is following you out. 

 Before you exit the gate of the household, you turn to Tobirama. 

“I hope you do not do that again,” you tell him in a hushed tone and you are suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “That fucking terrified me. If you are going to go put yourself in danger, at least, include me. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

Tobirama stares at you, his dark red eyes swimming like blood pools, and a sigh leaves his body. “I will keep your words in mind.” 

 “You can trust me, you know,” you insist. “I hope we can work towards that.” 

 You had half a mind to ask him about what he remembers during the hours that he forgot himself, but you decide to leave it alone. 

Before Tobirama can say anything else, you quickly walk away, and if he has reached for the back of your arm, you do not notice it because you do not even spare him a glance.

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[CHAPTER SEVEN >>>]