#which is why some of the lines arent even
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i do wanna say, as perhaps encouragement for y'all to send me more music, that i do actually download the tracks i say i like
ignore the bit where i remembered the old 65daysofstatic album i liked... but like... i downloaded the tracks i said i liked... i had to actually search for the mp3 of jewelry angel because it wasn't even available on apple music like i MEAN IT i am not lying to anyone
one of my fave things in life is exploring other people's taste in music and seeing how it connects to mine sooo
#also brave sound removing so much brave girls music from aplpe music#good thing i legally purchased so much#but yoohoo i had to scavangeeeeeeeee#also i edited out two songs i recently downloaded#which is why some of the lines arent even#the music is bad as in its embarrassing#not like problematic
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inside out 2 is interesting but it sure is the exact same plot as inside out 1 down to the emotions getting stranded outside hq as a core aspect of rileys isbeliminated and having to start from scratch while joy loses hope and cries while watching memories in a pile of memories that were deemed unimportant before being deus ex machinad by an imaginary cartoon
#inside out 2 spoilers#except joy has not learned her lesson about all emotions and memories being valuable and that she is not in charge#of making the call of which emotions are important. she builds her team up by emphasizing the good they do for riley#and continues to be an absolute control freak who puts an emphasis on her own importance seeming to have learned very little#some could argue that the emotions arent distinct enough or are even too nebulous to be their own emotions#and according to many theories in the subject all emotions come from combining multiple of the core emotions#which is why having nostalgia show up for a gag was... interesting. considering the first movie literally showed us joy and sadness memorie#create nostalgic ones. otherwise i mostly just feel like theyre too disparate and am still shocked how joy is like. the only positive#emotion. period.#anyway yeah it kinda underminded the first movies thesis that all emotions are important and helpful by making anxiety basically plain bad#even despite her explanations of why shes good. like she drops her memory in the sense of self and it immediately sprouts ominously#like idk maybe im just quibbling over foreshadowing in a childrens movie but to keep in line with that original thesis#wouldnt it make more sense to get more corrupt only as anxiety continues to flood it with only her emotion#like basing your entire sense of self and personality/beliefs around one emotion entirely is extremely unhealthy#and like it starts normal and gets more erratic as anxiety becomes the ONLY contributing factor. its probably not that important#okay so joy learns her lesson about the memories. but its still like. girl did you not already basically learn this before
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hii i didn't know where to post this but I figured your blog could be good since a lot of ppl who are questioning their gender will check it out bc of our uquiz
There's this one uquiz called "are you transgender (afab only)" by 033950 that's made by a terf and even though in retrospect the questions & answers on it get suspicious early on, it still felt awful, the result is super shitty & hurtful (there's only 1) telling the quiz taker to "accept reality" & a dumb speech. So yeah, anyone afab who's questioning and doing uquizs for fun ignore that one... Take care
jeeeesus christ i just went and took it myself and yeah those questions/answers are. so fucking manipulative, ESPECIALLY with only one answer. theres a reason none of the answers in my quiz are definitive like that and it's because. like. im aware that i wrote mine based on my own feelings and experiences and that i dont actually know yall taking it and therefore Cant Give A 100% Solid Answer, and "no youre dumb and just imagining it" is, imo, a terrible response no matter what. even if you are imagining it, even if it is a phase, that does not at all mean that those feelings are invaluable or invalid, which is exactly what that quiz does. and i mean i know that's the whole point of it, but like. holy fuck did they swing for the fences. thank you for putting the psa out, i hope no one gets too turned around by it and im sorry you were hurt in stumbling across it:(
#trans#queer#origibberish#gibberasks#uquibberish#it is fascinating to assess objectively though like. im gonna go out on a limb here and say the op uhhhhhhhhh#has some realizations down the line‚ lets put it that way#like. that whole speech is in theory directed at the quiz taker but. it sure reads like someone talking themselves out of smth#wheres that post about how like half of terfs are terfs because theyre trans and cant accept it and other terfs gave them an#explanation that could put a bandaid over it for a while#which in turn explains why theyre so aggressive about reinforcing those beliefs - its the only thing keeping them safe#its scary to be trans. its hard to be trans. and someone knee deep in the most vitriolic corners of the internet will know#that better maybe even than many openly trans people ever will#and 'you hate being a girl because being a girl sucks and we all hate it' is a lot easier to accept than 'you hate being#a girl because you arent one'#one of those options takes acceptance and money and time and fear and work and effort and risk#and one takes bottling up your feelings and slapping an internalized misogyny label on em#oh or wait the post thats like 'do you really have (fetish) or do you just (thing that reveals more about op than anything else)'#like ofc disclaimer i dont know that person so this is just speculation but. i mean. lol
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my parents were like yeah we'll have kids who are 1/4 hasid 1/4 misnagid and 1/2 BT surely this will lead to a normal identity
#but it's funny bc it isn't unique at all. everyone in my town is like this#well most ppl dont have BT parents but they have OTD children so give it twenty years and we'll see!#it's so fascinating it's like this tension of being able to make fun of hasidim bc were all part hasid but also u HAVE to do that in order#to assert that u arent a weirdo who's too religious or hasidic.#& then there's also the ppl who actually are chasidish (usually they grew up chasidish & then their parents divorced bc one isnt anymore)#so they have to do this like ironic reclamation of being chasidish which is at the end another form of mocking as a boundary marker#eventually everyone goes OTD and then maybe can have a genuine normal relationship to their roots or just be normal abt it#well we still joke. but in a different way for different reasons#i could go on abt this forever it's sooo fascinating i literally have to write a book abt it#op#edit: i didnt even mention what happens when u get into the even more modox circles. i cant even open that can of worms#it's also different among ashkenazi/sefardi lines and we have a lotttt of sefardim & mizrahim as well#some of whom are chasidish but most r not. but they have other things to be embarrassed of like weird immigrant parents!#which i also had! & come to think of it might explain why i was in the specific friend groups i was in#personal
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Me: I want to spend more time with people, I miss close contact with others :(
Also me: -only wants to spend time with 4 ppl irl, none of which live close by or have the ability to come by-
#miranda talking shit#My autistic mind do many intresting things for me. Some of which is fun but tge fact im so selective witb people is annoying#Like i feel annoying. I just want to be with those people but i cant so my brain is like 'well then i dont want to :( why am i lonely?'#I have more than one friend in my city i could spend time with but they... Arent one of the 4 golden chosen people so i ):#I dony hate them or anything they are nice but my obsessive minf just want to be with 4 ppl majority of the time#Bc they are the 4 people who take little energy from me or even give me energy socially#Everyone else i feel take more than give. Not their fault just how im built and how comfortable i am around others#Im so obsessive over fabian bc hes one of the very few i can talk with for maby hours. Without me noticing#I understand im annoying him and probably being a bother since i always want to talk to him but hes obe of the select few#Few times he actually take energy from me is when im already in a bad mental state and then everyone tire me . Otherwise he just doesnt#Tire me. Think its bc ive learned i dont HAVE to be fun and entertain him. We can just sit and do our own thing whule on discord#Silence is good with him . I like silence in general but always am anxious others hate it or find it awkward. But he have expressed#He likes silence and reassured me he doesnt need me to talk or fill silence. I hate how weirdly obsessive i am and get especially towards#People. No one wants that kind of attention from me and i try to not be Extra ™ but also like.... Its a nice feeling?#I like loving people. And talking to those people... I just dont ever know when im too much. Bc in the moment its#So hard to monitor... Where the 'normal' social lines are drawn. And it goes double when its people i already know and thus love#Then my brain is just '!!!! Omg i love them :)!!!!' and i dont think as much about how i... Appear and act#Would love to find someone who would actually like the type of attention I give and not to feel i am too much all the time...#Mirandas friends
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𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔!
a dragon-king! bakugou who finally meets someone who can take him— and maybe this marriage isnt such a bad thing. p in v, virgin! katsuki, (he gets a little bit excited) established relationship, breeding kink/ pregnancy mention.
katsuki hated the fact he was the new heir to the throne, his father passing away and that was truly a part of his sanity. mitsuki was the one who pushed marriage, he had to have a wife and sooner or later, children.
‘in what fucking planet do we live in to where we have to get married, hag?’ he remembers being a teenager and asking that question over and over and over again. just to be hit with a ‘our numbers are depleting, katsuki. we have to do these things in order to survive.’
he still rolls his eyes to the thought, but not now— since his old hag of a fucking mother is actually serious. she actually seeded out women who always wanted to be a woman on the throne, a woman who has seen the dragon queens’ son and wanted to risk it all for him. he despises it, women who throw themselves to a man.
“which one do you like the most, son?” she asks, smile lines on her aged face pulled by her fanged smile. “and hurry, we dont have all day.”
“none of them.” he deadpanned.
“boy— pick one or ill have your head!”
“and everyone wonders how dad died—“ he says, before receiving a smack to the back of his blonde head. “ow!”
“pick one, now.” she repeats, fixing herself and smiling to the line of girls presented to them. “alot of them are just lively.”
he sighs, crimson eyes wandering and his eyes match onto you, seeming like you truthfully didnt want to be here. “you,” he barks, a finger pointed at you and he nods up. “do you not want to be here or something?”
“to be picked by a dragon king who doesnt have anything better to do? absolutely not.” you snort, his eyebrow twitching and mistuki chuckles.
“perfect! we’ll set both of you up on a evening together.” she announces, a good bit of the women groaning and both of you lock eyes. didnt she just hear you werent here on your own will? katsuki scoffs, storming off and a hand dragging down his face.
“please excuse him, he’s not used to these things and doesnt know his duty as the new king.” she phrases, hands on your shoulders and a beaming smile. “youre going to love my son, im sure of it.”
“uh.. okay.” you say, at a lost for words.
you would love her son, huh? yeah, guess you could say that. his temper tantrums died down over the months— yet, one thing was weirder than anything,
that hes never once initiated sex. was he nervous? no, he’s never nervous to sit you on his lap when barking orders to servants or to behead a woman for questioning your intelligence and beauty, so it couldnt be he was nervous.
“bakugou, i have a—“
“woman, ive told you to call me katsuki.” he interrupted, a hand on a hip of yours and a deep grumble in his chest. the tribal jewelry jingled against his skin, a huff from him.
“katsuki, i need to ask you something.” you correct yourself, not daring to look to him— and yet he was staring deep into you. “why dont you ever.. why dont you ever try and touch me?”
he pauses himself at the question, a tight squeeze and then he looks away. “because you ain’ ready yet.” he solemnly says, a hand patting your hip. “ill let you know when.”
“you say that every time, though.” you reply, trying to press the matter further. “whats the real reason?”
he pinches the bridge of his nose, defensively irritated. “because you arent ready, woman.” he growls, agitation reaching his veins. “im not going to sit here and repeat my damn self.”
you get off of his lap, hearing a ‘sit back down’ from his lips and storm off. you werent hurt from his words, but you were questioning them. what in gods hell did he mean ‘you werent ready?’ youre a full fledged adult, not some child who couldnt understand why she couldnt go near the ocean.
maybe a few hours later, your king stumbling in and you both lock eyes. he opens his lips, eyes burning into yours. “im not here to fight with ya,” he says, a hand reaching onto your thigh and he huffs. “i just dont think youre physically prepared, nor mentally.”
“you arent my keeper, katsuki,” you remind, looking over to him and folding your arms in a groan. it was too late for this, especially after doing daily tasks as his wife. “you dont make that decision for me.”
“technically, i do. i dont have to fuck a woman.” he reminds as well.
“and what, do you not want pups?” you ask, his eyes flickering to you and his bouncing knee stops. “or is it im just not doing something for you?”
“not once have i ever said i didnt want children with you, y/n.” he growled, his gripping on your thigh tight. “i just said that you weren’t ready for that kind of thing, what apart of that dont you understand?”
“and how do you know what i am and am not ready for? is it because you havent slept with anyone before?”
he looks at you, straight faced.. you feel a chill go through your body, and you feel as if you had entirely fucked up— forgotten that this was a dragon king that you were married to..
and that you were dealing with.
“the last woman i tried to marry with could barely take anything that i gave her, you want to be next?” he warns, a small ounce of venom tracing his lips and he raised an eyebrow. “watch how you address me.”
“you know damn well thats not what i meant—“
“so what did you mean?”
“i meant if this is your first marriage, your first woman you slept with, ever.” you admit, scrambling for words to better help your case.
“yes and no.” he replies, patting your thigh. “the many women i tried to mate with could barely handle the tip.”
“okay.. so she left you because youre big down there, boo hoo—“
“no, you’re not understanding what i’m saying.” he stops you, grabbing your hands. “im your first dragon man, so..”
“us dragon men, we are bigger than the average human being. thats why we are better suited for dragon women, because their bodies can handle it.” he explained, still staring into you. “you arent ready for that kind of thing yet—“
“yeah, if you dont even attempt with me.”
he runs his hand through his hair, a nervous scoff. “the last woman who said that, her cervix was bruised and she cant have pups now, do you want that for yourself or do you not care about us?”
“katsuki, you dont have to be scared to do this with me.” you say, not even taking into account that he was a competitor, saying such words strikes a chord within him. and his chest swells with pride, him crawling onto you.
“no one is scared, woman.”
dragon men were definitely alot bigger than the average human man, you could feel it against you through the clothes that he wore, and his hands being big enough to wrap around your entire thigh.
his lips leave your neck, a whine coming from your throat and a deep grumble comes from his. he ran hot, his palms heated and sweaty from the passion and him grinding himself into your stomach.
he was needy, he hadnt been this needy in years.
“katsuki..” you mumble, hands along his sides and he kisses your lips, shutting you up.
“you think yer’ ready, little one?” he asks, his eyes blown out and dilated. he had been waiting for this, you can tell. you nod, teeth pulling at the small of your lip corner and he nods with you. his pants fall… and he wasnt lying, being nine inches long and twenty two centimeters wide. you swallow thick, looking down to the second beast he was swinging around. “you like to listen now, dont you?”
you nod, spreading your legs and he licks his lips. you watch his crawl ontop of you, kissing your collarbone and pressing his tip against your folds.
“kat—“ you say, him grunting and looking to you. “dont be nervous, okay?”
he softens a little, immediately forgetting that and hardening again. “let me know when to stop, ‘kay?” he says, pressing his tip and pushing it in.
his eyes widen, hearing you groan from the sudden stretch and he feels heat swell in his stomach. he cant fucking believe it, watching his cock slip deeper into your walls and he starts to pant. his eyes turn to slits, his canines growing sharper and wider— he was losing himself, realizing he’d finally met a woman who can take more than just the tip of his dragon cock.
“katsukiiiii..” you whine, a hand on his pelvis and he growls. “see..? im okay.”
he licks his lips, saliva pooling at the corner and then dribbling down the side of his mouth. “no fuckin way..” he growls, gripping your hips and jerking his hips. “fucking half way.. half way.” he repeats to himself, bottoming out and he claws at the sheets.
the dragon king holds your hips, raising them a little and then pulling you up, slowly pulling you back down and letting you adjust to his size. “give it to me..” he growls out, it being a echo.
“give you what..?” you ask, chest heaving and nipple hardened.
“your grace, give me the go ahead to take you.” he repeats, seeing you nod and pressing your legs to his chest. he licks at your calves, seeing the fire inside of his eyes while his cock drives into your cervix. “fuck! take all of it— take it all!” he growls, folding you up and slamming his body weight against your thighs.
slapping of wet skin, slick and creamy folds echo throughout the dragon kings bedroom—the dragon king becoming animalistic and he grabs your breasts in each hand. “katsukikatsukikatsuki!” you chant his name, eyes rolling and you cant remember how many orgasms youve been through from the dragon king.
“fuck— fucking have them, have my fucking pups!” he rumbles, nails digging into you as crescent moons into your skin and he presses his forehead to yours. “carry my kids, fucking take them— getting fucked fat with my kids— fuckk!”
he groans, pulling you down onto his cock as he stills. his cock gets pushed out, the dragon kings’ semen being in so much amounts it forces it out. he pants, ragged breaths and he falls against you, his body returning to his original state and his eyes return normal.
“katsuki?”
“mm.” he grunts, looking up to you and his face gets covered by your plush breasts.
“i dont want to say i told you so…
but i told you so.”
“do you remember when you thought i would die from having sex with you?” you say, sitting in the bathtub and bubbles cover your wet skin. “you were so nervous.” you chuckled, putting your hands on your round belly.
“yeah.. was kind of a punk for that.” he chuckles, smile lines, but yet— frown lines pulled from his chuckle. “you look gorgeous, beautiful.” he praises, kissing your cheek and putting a hand on your belly. “water too hot?”
“im carrying dragons, katsuki.” you remind, raising your hand to his cheek and caressing it. you feel his smile, and his lips press to yours. “the midwife should be here, soon.”
she was already there, both of you being enamored with each other to miss the part that was most important.
“what do you mean she’s having triplets?!”
#dvs haunted mansion 🧟♀️#katsuki smut#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#bakugo katuski#katsukibakugou#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#kastuki bakugou#bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x black reader#bakugo smut#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugou x black! reader
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Time Traveller AU pt3
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 4 is here. Find the AU masterlist here! Check out my MASTERLIST here.
"This is so unnecessary" you whispered to the man sitting behind you. "Everyone's staring." Your eyes scanned over the mass of people in town, as your horse passed through.
You thought you would get your own horse, but Baldwin had other plans apparently, as he just picked you up from your armpits and plopped you in front of him on his horse.
You could feel him smiling from ear to ear. "I think they're just in awe of your beauty. I would suggest getting used to the stares, now."
You rolled your eyes. "Dont flatter me. I know how I look, besides- I was referring to us sharing a horse. Its unnecessary and its why everyones looking at us."
"I think its unnecessary to get another horse for you. You dont know how to ride them, and believe me when I tell you- these horses are wild. I dont want you to get hurt when they kick you off." He teased.
You scoffed. Alright, maybe you werent an equestrian, but how hard would it be to ride a horse anyways? Didnt Baldwin learn to ride one when his right arm was paralysed and he had to do with his thighs mostly to control the horse?
"Still, I couldve gotten a carriage. Or better yet walked? Maybe even ride a horse with someone else-" You quieted down as you felt a pair of lips peck behind your ear.
"Dont even think about it. Why would I let anyone touch you, be this close to my princess-" his arm snaked around your waist and pulled you back closer to him. "Wouldnt you prefer your soon-to-be-husband to help you instead?" He whispered as his hand slowly found its way to rest on your belly, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Heat rose to your cheeks as you pulled his hand away and smacked it when it tried to touch your waist again. "Behave, Baldwin." You admonished with a smile as people looked at you. You dont want to create a scene (especially not one where history would report some lady smacking King Baldwin).
You getting flustered and angry only made him chuckle, as he leaned down to give the back of your head a kiss.
Enough with the PDA already. Arent medieval times supposed to be more conservative?
Ugh. Your lips formed into a thin line. Maybe he'll back off when you reach Salauddin and he sees how other Muslims act.
With some entourage accompanying you guys, you travelled away from the kingdom for almost an hour or so until you crossed that one sand dune beyond which Salauddin and his people were camping.
Before reaching the dessert, you had asked Baldwin if he had something that you could cover yourself up with. You want to adhere to the customs and not accidentally piss off one of the greatest Muslim rulers. Sure, you could've worn something more concealing before leaving the castle, but neither of you wanted people to know that you two were going to meet Salauddin.
Baldwin nodded and in one swift motion, he had removed his cloak and wrapped it around you, bringing the hood over you.
"But- what about you?" you looked back at him with wide eyes. People didnt just wear full length clothes back then just because of modesty, but also to protect their skin from sun damage.
He smiled. "I'll be fine, princess." No, you wont. And you're not risking yet another historical change by having the king of Jerusalem getting skin cancer.
Immediately, you tore off the bottom of your tunic and made a keffiyeh (a headdress) which covered both his head and his face. "There, now we can go."
From the keffiyeh, only his eyes were visible, which crinkled up. "Did you cover me up because you dont want women staring at me in awe?"
"What? Of course not. You just recovered from leprosy. Your skin would be sensitive to the harsh sun and heat of the desert-" He cut you off by laughing lightly.
"Whatever you say, princess. Whatever you say."
As you neared the camps, you saw men dressed in battle armour coming out of the tents, and you from the way he walked, the way he dressed, even his mere presence could make you recognise Salauddin from a mile away.
The horse stopped and Baldwin got down first before helping you down. You followed him as he walked towards Salauddin, who was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. An erie silence settled all around you, the sound of air whooshing being the only thing audible for a few moments. Salauddin stared into Baldwin, while men from both sides glared at each other, one hand on their swords, ready to fight.
"Salam alaikum." Baldwin spoke first.
Peace be upon you.
You heart dropped for a second when Salauddin didnt reply back immediately. With your hood covering your face, you couldnt exactly see his expressions, only resorting to his body language and sounds to anticipate his mood.
Salauddin's lip quirked up. "Walaikum asalaam." He opened his arms and both men embraced each other for a few moments and you could feel the tension around you finally melting away as men from both sides finally started conversing with each other normally now that their kings were talking amicably.
Salauddin patted his back and raised a brow at you. "Who taught you the keffiyeh to cover that sore face of yours?" Baldwin chuckled. "My fiancee- Y/n, princess come here will you?" You walked closer to Baldwin. "This is Y/n, and we're both here today to invite you to our wedding. Darling, say hi, will you?"
You gulped. "Assalamu alaikum".
Salauddin's ears perked up. "Walaikum asalam. That was perfect pronunciation. Have you been taught by Arab scholars?"
"About that..." Baldwin chuckled nervously. "Y/n, why dont you go there with the ladies? They seem pretty eager to meet you." Salauddin nodded his head and a couple of women, all wearing burqas approached you. "This is princess Y/n. Take good care of her." Salauddin told them as they took you to their tent, where only women remained.
Meanwhile, Salauddin let Baldwin in to his tent.
"So, whats the secret?" Salauddin asked as he sat down, beckoning Baldwin to do the same.
He took a deep breath. "Y/n is... a Muslim."
Salauddin blinked at him. "What?"
"She's Muslim." He repeated. "So could you just tell me about the Islamic wedding ceremony? Nikkah, right?"
Salauddin stared at him. "Are you joking?"
"No."
"You cant marry her, Baldwin."
"Why not?"
"Because she's a Muslim and you're Catholic!"
"So? I havent seen it stop Muslims from marrying non muslims."
"No- only muslim men can marry non muslim women. It doesnt work the other way around."
"Salauddin, thats sexist."
"Its not sexist- nevermind, I cant help you understand it. But no, you cant marry a Muslim woman."
"What if... shes not Muslim?" Salauddin gave him a puzzled look. "I... believe Y/n may be using religion as an excuse not to marry me."
"If she doesnt want to marry you, why do you wanna marry her?"
"She does want to marry me, she's just... confused. Look, Salauddin. She cured me- CURED leprosy. This doesnt happend to anyone. She- she has something holy about her. How else do you explain this miracle?"
"So what? You think God and what- Jesus? chose this girl for you? That they gave her healing hands to cure your disease? You think shes of divinity?"
Baldwin smiled softly. "I do." Salauddin rolled his eyes. "Youre infatuated with her, Baldwin. Its temporary. She performed some magic, or tricks and you think she's divine? Do not make a fool of yourself."
"Then explain how I suddenly got well, Salauddin. Youve travelled the world, you sent me your best Arab healers, you believe in sciences- explain to me how I was cured of my incurable disease."
Salauddin gazed at the young king. "Let me guess, she claimed that she's been sent by Almighty God to cure the King and save Jerusalem, and in return, you must marry her or give her your throne to fulfil some prophecy?"
Baldwin chuckled, leaning back against the ottoman a bit. "Actually, she's been denying that she did anything to help me, she keeps on making excuses to marry me, she avoids my affection- and if I'm being honest, attention." Salauddin's eyes furrowed a bit. What game are you playing?
"Maybe... Black magic?" Salauddin is well aware of witchcraft, its been mentioned by his religion too.
Baldwin shrugged. "She's far too angelic to be associated with that. I'm sure there would be prominent signs if she was involved in any sort of magic or witchcraft."
Salauddin was about to reply but just then, his guards came running in.
"Salauddin! There's a sandstorm coming!" Immeadiately both kings sprung up.
"Tie up the animals! Tell everyone to get in and take cover!" Salauddin barked orders at his men.
The women in your tent were immediately informed of the situation and they quickly started taking measures, with the men outside helping to nail down the tent and gathering the baby animals and children, bringing them inside the tent.
You got up to leave and go to Baldwin, but the women pushed you back down, telling you its not safe to leave.
"The storm is here! You can't leave now!" Well, alright then. You plopped back down on your seat, when you heard someone cry out loud and your eyes immeadiately saw the liquid on the floor.
Of course it was the pregnant lady.
The woman had went into labour and everyone rushed to help her. Everyone but you. Nuh uh, youre not meddling in this time, lest anyone else accuses you of having magic healing hands.
Another harrowing scream pierced through the room, with the harsh winds threatening to blow away the tent adding on to the tension.
Maybe I could just stand near them, just to make sure they are using proper hygiene. Or actually just to see how midwifes worked in the past. Yes, its for science.
You stood near the midwifes, out of their work field because you dont want to be an obstacle. Of course, you may have had caught the sight of the poor woman and her... vagina, which youre ashamed to say has made you sick to your stomach because child birth is not a beautiful phenomenon and fuck this shit youre never having babies.
After almost an hour, the baby was finally out. The stench of sweat and blood and the nightmarish sights you'd caught glimpses of had made you want to throw up when suddenly the enviorment turned gloomy. And it hit you.
The baby wasnt crying.
The mother who was previously crying from labour, was now crying due to a different kind of pain.
You felt for her, you truly did. Carrying a child for 9 months, making sure to take every precaution, not to mention the constant prayers for a healthy baby (and for some, specifically a boy) otherwise the mother would be blamed.
The midwife put the dead baby in the bassinet beside you before tending back to the grieving mother, who was still bleeding from down there.
"Poor Fatima." You heard one of the women whisper to her friend. "To wait for 8 years before she finally conceived... only for her child to die before he could even take his first breath."
Your heart broke as you heard them, the woman sobbed inconsolably. You turned your head to look at the baby in the bassinet and subconsciously, you wondered what went wrong.
Doesnt look like he was choked by the umbilical cord... and he doesnt look cyanotic either, so he probably wasnt dead inside the womb. Your eyes widened. Maybe-!
Your hands went to pick up the baby before halting mid air. No. No. I cant interfere- I cant mess with history more than I already have. I cant save a child who was destined to die-
Your head whipped to the woman who let out a shrill, devastating cry, begging God to let her son live.
Fuck it. You picked up the baby. Maybe this baby was destined to live.
Immeadiately you checked for breathing before putting the baby on a table nearby and placed two fingers on the left side of his chest, starting compressions.
"1. 2. 3-" you muttered under your breath, trying to recall what was drilled into your head when you were attending first aid classes. Pinching the baby's nostrils, you breathed into his mouth, eyes watching as his chest rise and drop. You repeated the compression set 2 more times when the baby finally took a huge breath and began crying.
Picking up the baby, you ran towards the bucket of water and started cleaning the baby's head and face off the mix of blood and amniotic fluid, while massaging his back and his feet to encourage him to breathe on his own.
After a few minutes, you turned around to cover the baby with a cloth swaddling him up nicely and thats when you finally looked around you.
Everyone was staring at you in shock, the sound of the baby crying echoing the silence.
Shit. You rocked the baby gently as you handed him to his mother, who also looked at you in shock with tear streaks on her cheeks. I hope... they didnt see me do CPR.
Yes, damage control. Thats what you need to do. You cleared your throat. "Um- yes, Allah has blessed you with a beautiful son. Lets be grateful to Him." And the women slowly began talking again and agreeing, some saying that they'll go give sadaqah (charity to please God) while others were going to go pray.
When you turned around, you saw Baldwin and Salauddin standing at the entrance of the tent, the former having a beaming smile while the latter looked in surprise.
Maybe it was the stench of sweat and blood in the room, maybe it was emotional situation you went through (high key nauseating), or maybe it was the mix of amniotic fluid and blood on your mouth from when you saved the baby, but the next moment, you lost consciousness.
-
When you woke up, you noticed you were in a different, much bigger tent. Rubbing your eyes, you sat up with a groan.
"You're finally awake." You looked up to see Salauddin sitting at his desk in the other corner-
Salauddin? Your hands went to draw your hood over your face but you realised your (or well, Baldwin's) cloak had been replaced with a cotton niqaab that veiled your entire face except for your eyes.
Standing up, you looked in his direction. "Where's Baldwin?"
You heard him chuckle darkly. "He left."
"He left?" You heard him walk over to you, and instinctively you took a step back, narrowing your eyes at his audacity.
He towered over you, face neutral as he looked down at you. His hand gestured to his right, where a chess set was placed on a table.
"Do you play?" He asked, eyes never leaving yours.
Hesitantly, you nodded. He sat down, beckoning you to do the same.
"Ladies first." He let you start the game. "I should tell you though- if you wish to leave out of this place alive, you'll have to win."
What the shit? Is this some sort of psychological game? Or is this actually happening? I mean, people in the medieval times were crazy. Just because he's muslim shouldnt excuse him from insanity.
You picked up the white pawn. "Where is Baldwin?"
"I told you, he's gone." He moved his black pawn. "He sold you to me."
You looked up at him. What? "Focus on the game. You do not wish to know what will your fate be if you were to lose this game." You immediately picked up your bishop and moved it.
Salauddin clicked his tongue as he took your bishop. You moved your pawn again. "Why- why would he sell me? I'm his fiancee." You asked, your eyes never leaving the board. You're playing for your life here.
"Well, when we saw you use black magic to save that baby- oh, I took your other pawn too, mhm-" He smiled as he looked at your furrowed brows. "And then I told him that you cant be a muslim if you were using black magic."
"Black magic? When did I use it?!" you asked exasperatedly as you lost your knight.
"We saw you muttering something when you were "saving" that child." Muttering? When was I muttering? "One of the ladies even said they heard you whisper some repetitive words to a tune too."
Repetitive words-? You wanted to bang your head against concrete when you realised he was referring to you doing compressions to the rhythm of Stayin Alive by the BeeGees. This one is not your fault because the instructor taught you guys that.
"I was not doing black magic. Even so, who are you to decide if I am a Muslim or not?" You moved your other knight.
"I am Salauddin Ayubi-"
"So?" Salauddin looked at you.
So? So? No one has ever dared to ask him questions.
"Your real name is Yusuf. Salauddin is just a laqab, hm?" Your eyes never left the board as you made your move. "Do you think you're above me? Above Baldwin? Above anyone?" You didnt let him answer as you gestured at him to continue the game. "I dont recall you being a prophet. I dont remember you being a caliph even. So, Salauddin tell me what gives you the right to judge if I'm a muslim or not?" You asked as you took his pawn.
Salauddin narrowed his eyes at you, making his bishop take another pawn of yours. You didnt let it deter you as you practically snatched the same bishop of his with your rook. "Just because youre a muslim, you think you have the right to judge me?"
He scoffed at your words, making his move but you took yet another black pawn. "I am a Muslim. I was born in a Muslim family-"
"Exactly." You took more of his black pawns as he took your white ones. The board was mostly empty now. "You were born in a Muslim family. Do you honestly believe your Lord is happy with you because you were born in the right family? Is that the essence of what being a Muslim is?" Salauddin now looked at you but you didnt let your eyes stray away from the chess board. "Are you a Muslim because you were born in a Muslim family? Or were you born in a Muslim family because Allah knew you wouldnt find your way if you werent? If you were born in a catholic family, youd be a catholic? Lets say you are a Muslim, how do you know youre a good enough Muslim who can judge me? How do you know Allah will let you in heaven when youre on Earth declaring so and so is doing magic and isnt a muslim? Only Allah can judge us, not you Salauddin Ayubi." You stated calmly as you made your final move. "Thats checkmate."
You finally looked at him, your eyes holding satisfaction at his distressed face, though he masked it well.
How you wished to reveal to him that he was playing against a grandmaster whose parents made her take chess as a hobby since she was 6 because they believed it would make her smart and get into good colleges (it did. Thanks mom and dad.)
"Salauddin, we can play chess all you want but dont lie to me. You know I wasnt doing magic, and you know that I know that Baldwin wouldnt just leave me behind. So please, tell me, where is Baldwin?" Before he could reply, you continued. "Remember, lying is a sin."
At this, his eyes finally showed amusement. "He's outside, helping the women sew a niqaab for you. He wants to embroidery a flower in or something." You rolled your eyes at that. Of course, leave it to Baldwin to do cute romantic stuff.
Salauddin leaned back in his chair as he studied you. "So, how did you bring the baby back to life?"
"I prayed to Allah." He quirked a brow at you. "I also cleared his nostrils. They were plugged with fluid, so he didnt know or couldnt breathe with his lungs. Then I just warmed up his body a bit and he was crying- the baby was never dead. You know that no one can be saved from Azrael if Allah has written for that person to die."
Angel of death.
He gave you a nod, though his eyes watched you curiously. "How were you so sure that I knew you were a Muslim?"
You shrugged. "I just did." Why wouldnt you know when he was playing chess with you to check your psychology? Not to mention, he allowed you to be covered with a niqaab even when you were unconscious and let you stay in his tent? If he even doubted that you were a non muslim, you more than likely wouldve been treated far badly.
Salauddin chuckled. Of course, youd keep your secrets. "Then you know that as a Muslim woman, you cannot marry anyone of another faith."
"I dont plan on marrying Baldwin." You scoffed. "I already rejected him and have tried to sway his mind, but hes set on his decision. I think he actually believes that Im an angel or something divine."
He quirked a brow at you. "So he's forcing you to marry him?"
"I wouldnt say force- well, actually I would say that. But he doesnt treat me badly or anything. He's very sweet, even when I avoid him."
Salauddin clicked his tongue. "I could help you." You looked at him. "You are a Muslim, a part of the ummah. I could-"
"No. If youre suggesting starting a war, no." "Well, not a war, youre not that important." Damn. He grinned at your offended eyes. "I meant, I could send some people to sneak you out or-"
"No, if Baldwin finds out youre involved in any way in my escape he would-" you cant risk an extra crusade happening because of a damsel in distress, aka you. It would put the fate of Jerusalem at risk as well as the fate of the Ayyubid dynasty.
Wait. Ayyubid dynasty. They ruled over Egypt, Syria, Palestine, Yemen and so on. But Egypt was the learning center of the Islamic world during this time because they focused on arts and education which meant they hosted the world's greatest scholars there.
"Salauddin, can you get me to Egypt?" The king of Egypt, or sultan of Egypt looked at you quizzically. "I can, but why? Do you have family there?"
"What? No, I'm not running away to Egypt. Look, I just-" you cant explain to him about your escape plan that you were going to use the help of scholars to help you make the tools which you can use to fix your broken time machine. So, you lie. "You're someone who enjoys learning, right? I know you like history and sufism, and I would just love to get to know more about it."
With his head resting on his palm, he studied you. You intrigued him, and although he sensed you had ulterior motives, he agreed. "I cant take you there personally because I am busy here, but I could send you there with some trusted men." You smiled under your veil. This is exactly what you want. And almost as if he could sense your glee, he continued. "Your madly-in-love fiance wont send you alone, or at all."
"Let me worry about Baldwin, and he'll agree because I'm not running away. I'll work on my escape another way in which no one has to die." You said, finally standing up and walking out of the tent to find Baldwin who was sitting with the other veiled women, his eyes focused on the needlework.
"Baldwin." You called out with your hands behind your back as you walked upto him.
He looked up and his eyes practically sparkled at the sight of you. "Princess!" He stood up and immediately went to hug you but you stopped him before he could, nodding your head at onlookers. "Oh right, sorry." He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, ears turning pink as the women giggled.
He then picked up the niqaab he'd been working on, the blue cloth matched the color of his eyes. "Look, I made that flower." There was embroidery done on the sleeves. And of course, amongst the mass of tiny, delicate pink and white flowers, Baldwin made the biggest, slightly wonky flower.
It brought a smile to your lips. Gosh, he's such a-
You shake your head. No. No. You cant.
"Its beautiful, Baldwin. Thank you." He grinned at your praise, nodding his head as he folded it up. Still holding the embroidered niqaab in his hand, he walked over to Salauddin and shook his head. "We should get going now. Thank you for hospitality, Salauddin." The Kurdish nodded. "Of course. You're always welcome. And if you have any more questions about our traditions and rituals, dont hesitate to reach out to me. Although your wife to be seems quite knowledgeable on the subject herself." Your eyes widened every so slightly. Did Salauddin- did he just acknowledge that you're not as dumb as he thought you were.
Baldwin smiled before leading you towards his horse, helping you get on it.
Salauddin watched as your entourage left, and his mouth twitched.
You have piqued my interest, Y/n. He called his right hand man.
"We still have spies in Baldwin's castle, right?" The man confirmed. "Excellent. Have them find out all they can about lady Y/n. And prepare a small entourage ready to go to Egypt."
"Wont we be staying here, sultan?" The man asked, confused as to why Salauddin would be leaving Jerusalem this early.
"We will, but I will make a short trip in between."
Of course, Salauddin cant just let you go to Egypt alone. The sultan will have to make proper arrangements to welcome you there.
And to find out what you're really there for.
He returned to his tent, his eyes landing on the chess board. Walking upto it, he looked at how you had defeated him.
Salauddin smirked, using his finger to knock down the white king.
It'll be fun to make Baldwin jealous.
Part 4 is here!
#yandere king baldwin#yandere male#yandere baldwin#yandere baldwin iv#baldwin iv#king baldwin iv#yandere#kingdom of heaven#the leper king#koh#yandere salauddin#yandere oc#yandere ocs#time traveller au#yandere x darling#yandere x reader
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hii i love reading yor fics sososo much T_T<333
I'd like to request a fic where Logan dreams that he hurts the reader, almost killing them. The reader notices that he's having a nightmare and wakes him up, he's disoriented and in panic, but when he realized what just happened he is incredibly relieved to see that reader is ok and alive. Maybe he even breaks down and cries, which really shocks the reader cuz they arent used to seeing Logan like this 🥺 Then the reader comforts him and takes care of him until he's back asleep.
As It Should Be
Wolverine X Reader
Content: Comfort, crying, poor Logan cannot catch a break, but you're there to dig him out of his sadness hole, he loves you a lot, lots of fluff while comforting him
Word Count: 1.39k
Warnings: Some graphic violence during the nightmare segment
a/n: Thank you for the kind words! This one honestly got a little graphic in terms of gore, but nothing too bad, so hopefully that’s ok! This was fun to write, enjoy!
No. What had he done?
Logan stood in a pile of debris and rubble, his white tank top and jeans now caked in blood that wasn’t his. Claws refusing to retract, Logan felt utterly hopeless against his own body. His actions weren’t his own as he trudged towards the only person left alive; you. You were scared, that much was clear by your facial expression and hasty movements to crawl backward away from the mutant.
“Logan… this isn’t you, please.” You plead, eyes darting around the scene to find help, anyone that is still alive or conscious. All you could take in was the decimated mansion and the mauled corpses of your loved ones. What had taken over Logan? Why did he destroy the very things he risked his life for countless times?
As Logan looked into your frightened eyes his heart clenched, knowing what was coming next. He just wishes he could stop it. Watching himself tear through his other family hurt like hell, but having to watch you die he didn’t think he could bear it. You were his entire world, the only thing that could ground him when he fell down the pits of self-destruction. He would forever kill himself before harming you. But this version of himself had other plans.
He trudged over, claws glistening in the light of fire around them. “No, no no no…” You chant, still trying to escape the man but your legs are rendered useless due to your paralyzing fear. With one swift movement, Logan begins to tear through flesh and muscle, watching in horror as his hands mutilate his love against his will. You could do nothing but lay there, screaming in pain, your mutant ability keeping you alive for longer than you wanted to be. Logan wished he was the one being gutted. In a way, he was. Anyone else, anyone but you deserved his wrath.
Tears clung tightly to his eyes as his hand retracted from your body, lining up for the final shot to the head. As the blade commences its soar towards your skull, Logan jolts up from a lying position and hastily takes in his surroundings. It was dark, he was under a blanket of sorts, and oh, he was in your bedroom. Had it only been a nightmare? No, it was far too cruel and realistic to have been. Even Logan’s mind wasn’t so callous to make him live through such a horror. So then, it must have been real? Logan begins to hyperventilate, raising his hands to eye level. His claws were away, and his rough skin was clean of blood. But, as he blinked, grotesque images flashed through his mind. Sick crimson blood, your blood, begins to stain his hands, drying in a disgusting reddish-brown. He immediately jumped out of bed, went into the ensuite bathroom, and scrubbed his hands raw.
“No, no no no.” He chanted under his breath as he tried to scrape off the non-existent material. The cold water was not enough to ground him back to reality, Logan eventually gave up and put him back to the skin, sliding down towards the floor to cradle his head in his hands. Thanks to the sound of the water running in the bathroom and Logan’s hard footsteps, you eventually stir awake. At first, nothing seemed wrong, maybe he just had to use the bathroom. But after the sound of continuous water for five minutes you grew increasingly concerned. Deciding to confront the man you carefully walk up to the bathroom door and gently knock three times, not to startle him during whatever he’s doing.
“Lo?” It was only one syllable, but your sweet voice saying his nickname out loud was enough to send Logan scrambling. The door eagerly burst open, and when it did the sight you were met with shocked your heart. There was Logan on the ground, clearly disheveled, eyes bloodshot and teary. “Oh baby, what happened?” You coo, going to take a step forward but immediately retreating seeing Logan flinch.
“You’re- you’re real, right?” Logan tentatively asks, sounding scared. Of course, you were real, why wouldn’t you be?”
“Yes, love.” You stay put in your place. You didn’t want to upset him further.
“No… I ripped you apart. You died by my hands.” You resist the urge to outwardly exclaim how ridiculous he sounded before realizing he more than likely had a nightmare. Logan was prone to bad dreams, but none ever shook him quite as much as this. The only good thing that came out of the consistent night terrors was that you now knew how to soothe him in times like these.
“I’m right here my love. I’m not hurt. See? I’m perfectly okay.” Your voice stays calm and soothing, not wanting to startle him further. “Touch my hand. Feel my skin. I am right here.” Usually, the sensation of touch grounded him from this distressed state, but this time he seemed hesitant to even look in your direction.
“I can’t. I might hurt you again.” Logan looked so small and it broke you. He was huddled into himself, still looking at you untrusting. The thought of himself harming you any further plagued his mind, twisting his stomach and making him want to vomit. You were his world, his everything. He curses his body for the immortality that was bestowed upon him because if anything happens to you he wants to follow right behind.
Realizing you may seem intimidating due to the fact you’re standing tall over his curled-up body you lower yourself and sit criss-cross applesauce across from him. Putting your hand out in between your two bodies you silently sit there, waiting for Logan to take this at his own pace. After a few minutes, Logan seems calm enough to touch your hand. Fingertips only brush at first, then a loose handhold, then a firm grasp on each other. Before either of you knew it you were fully embracing, Logan nuzzling his head into your neck. He needed to take you in every sense, to prove this was real. His nose took in your intoxicating perfume, his hands gripped your curves, his ears heard your soft breaths release from your mouth, and when he pulled back his eyes took in the sight of you. You were as stunning as always even with your messy hair and tired eyes. You were real, you were here, and you were his.
Seeing as your boyfriend has calmed down you decided to relocate to a more comfortable area. “Let’s get off this gross floor, okay love? Let’s go to bed.” You whisper, carefully tugging him along to your shared bed. Once you two got settled down you were instantly back in his strong arms, protecting you from the rest of the world. You thought all was said and done for the night until Logan spoke up.
“You were so scared. I made you scared.” He hated seeing you that way. It hurt him. What hurt worse was that he was the cause of it. He now understands it wasn’t real, but your expression was so gut-wrenching he couldn’t shake it off.
“Logan I know you would never hurt me on purpose.” You reassured him. “Except maybe when you squeeze me to death with your bear hugs.” Logan chuckled a little bit, your humor always lightens the mood. You lay in silence for a bit, almost dozing off until you hear a voice next to you.
“Thank you for dealing with me.” You smile, leaning over and kissing the man gingerly on the cheek.
“It’s what I signed up for my love. Besides, you could never be a bother to me.” He smiles back, a rare sight to anyone but yourself. “I love you, Logan.”
“I love you too.” With that resignation you two cuddle, arms and legs entangled with one another’s. Eventually, Logan is lulled back to sleep while listening to the steady beat of your heart. Instead of another nightmare, he is met with a blissful dream of the two of you living together on a mountain, away from all the violence and harm the world holds. Just as it should be.
#wolverine x reader#deadpool movie#deadpool#deadpool 3#wolverine x you#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#logan wolverine#logan howlett x you#james logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett#comfort#fluff#x men 97#x men#xmen fanfiction#wolverine fanfiction#logan fanfiction
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Was experimenting with halftone effects after watching this video and it almost has spiderverse vibes honestly. I actually learned some neat things about why printers use CMYK instead of just CMY so I thought I'd share !!
So in our optimal little computer space, Cyan (0,255,255), Magenta (255,0,255) and Yellow (255,255,0) all multiplied together gives us a perfect black (0,0,0) Awesome! The issue is that ink colors irl arent exactly perfect like this, and color is a bit more complicated irl compared to how computers represent it, so they aren't the greatest at combining into black if they aren't those perfect CMY values:
Left: CMY
Right: CMYK
(thats not even black, its a dark blue in the original image but dark colors just look so much richer)
An important step to make sure you arent doubling up on the black values though is to divide the image by it's own "value" (the max of all 3 color channels) that way the value is equal to 1 everywhere, and you're letting the black ink take care of the value on its own.
Left: CMY (normalized value)
Middle: K (black)
Right: Combined
Now obviously the grids of dots cant be aligned perfectly with each other because you'd just get a bunch of black dots in unwanted areas, but if the grids are misaligned, then some dots become more prominent than others which tints the whole image. This was an issue because older printing methods didn't have great accuracy and these grids were often misaligned.
The solution was to rotate these grids such that they can move around freely while getting rid of that tint effect if they aren't perfectly aligned :D
(I have no idea how they came up with these angles but that might be something to look into in the future who knows)
SPEAKING OF MISALIGNMENT
I wanted to implement that in my own filter to get some cool effects, and I discovered another reason CMYK is better than CMY for lots of stuff !!
With CMY, you're relying on the combination of 3 color channels to make the color black. This means if you have thin lines or just details in general, misalignment can make those details very fuzzy. Since CMYK uses a single color of ink to handle value, it reduces color fringing and improves clarity a lot even if you have the exact same misalignment as CMY!
Left: CMY
Right: You guessed it! CMYK
(yes these comparisons have the exact same color misalignment, the only difference is using a fourth ink color for black)
ANYWAY I just thought there was a lot of cool information in this tiny little day project, I also just think it looks really neat and wanted to share what I learned :3c
EDITING BECAUSE THERE'S ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO ADD
So, I talked about how to get K in addition to CMY instead of just CMY, but how exactly do you separate CMY from an image in the first place?
Well, CMY is a subtractive color space, meaning the "absence of color" is white, compared to RGB where it's black. This makes sense because ofc ink is printed on white paper. You can use dot product to get the "similarity" between two vectors, and this can be used to separate RGB actually! Using the dot product of a color and red (255,0,0) will give you just the red values of the image. This is cool though because if we get the dot product of our image and the color cyan (0,255,255), we can get the cyan values from our image too! If we first divide our colors by their value to separate the value from them, then separate CMY using those dot product values, and using K for our final black color value, our individual color passes end up looking like this:
While it's called a "subtractive" color space, I find it more intuitive to treat white as the absence of color here, and then multiply all these passes together. It makes it much easier to understand how the colors are combined imo. Notice how cyan is the opposite of red: (255,0,0) vs (0,255,255) and magenta and yellow are the opposites of green and blue respectively! This means you can actually kinda get away with separating the RGB values and just inverting some stuff to optimize this, but this example is much more intuitive and readable so I won't go too deep into that. THANKS FOR READING I know it's a very long post but I hope people find it interesting! I try my best to explain things in a clear and concise way :3
oh thank you I realized I should probably add an eyestrain tag
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Synastry aspects that I personally don’t like.
before i start please read that I am not an official astrologer so take this with a grain of saltttt too haha. Just for fun.
North node square north node ( I’m sorry but each one lives in a whole different worlds, completely different perspectives, mindset, somehow not letting each other move to the next step)
Chiron in 7th house overlay. ( now Chiron isn’t always bad, but there’s kind of.. pain it gives , it’s not any better in other houses, but I’m saying romantically, there could be hurt during the marriage... if you want Chiron overlays in synastry please lmk)
Pluto/Uranus in 12th house overlay. ( now Mose of y’all know 12th house overlays arent so good eventually, but i think Pluto or Uranus being there could be harsher than any other planet , could indicate so many things, one of them unpleasant endings in the relationship, finding truth about something suddenly, betrayal..in worst cases you won’t be able to forget each other )
Saturn 8th house overlay. (Sure y’all know why..)
Mars conjuct Mc/10th house. ( uhhhh it just don’t give me nice vibes when both are seen in public eye. Could be arguing in public a lot, the mars person makes it hard for the 10th person to forgive them. Works even in composite chart )
Mercury square Saturn. ( a lot of judgements and misunderstandings)
Chiron opposite asc/Venus.
Saturn opposite Neptune. (Broo)
Moon opposite moon. (Now tbh Im not really sure of this one since nobody complained about it and it could indicate “slight” emotional understanding difficulties with each other that can also cause attraction. But I’ve seen this aspect with some couple that really can’t stop hurting eachothers emotionally . )
Another moon aspect, ofc moon is the first thing you should observe In synastry s, it simply represents how each other’s emotions play with the other. now moon square moon. Obviously most of y’all know why, literally each one is on different page when it comes to how they view emotions which makes it pretty hard to understand each other’s feelings with the square aspect. ( believe it or no I have this one with my man, even knowing it I’m still with him lol. yes the attraction is definitely there due to other loving aspects and also with this one, it gives attractive energy yes. but still, he don’t understand my emotions and my point of view, struggles with analyzing me sometimes or what I even think , even when I try my best to throw him an obvious sign about something, without me speaking, he don’t get it where everyone else does same goes for me 🤣😭. he sometimes thinks I mean something the opposite of what I meant. Bottom line is with this aspect you need to speak each other’s feelings and what you want to tell the other cause it’s way too impossible to understand eachother with no words spoken. 😓 AAAA THIS IS THE ONLY STRUGGLING PLACEMENT WE HAVE AND ITS NOT EVEN A SIMPLE ONE)
Mars in 5th house, ( Now this is NOT a red flag, bUTTTT i always read about this placement represents a “not lasting relationship “ and tbh every fling I had I had this placement with, literallyyyy very guy I used to dm or talk to even for a couple of days, attraction at first but then boom, you din yourself not talking to them anymore for god knows what reason lol, so there’s something interesting about this placement. 🤔🤣 ( pink for flings 🤣)
Mars 1st house.... ( uhh you know what? Wait for part 2 😛 )
But before part 2 I’ll make my next post positive I promise, I didn’t even want to write red flags placements because it shouldnt be taken seriously haha. So next post will be about .. hmm wait , what you guys want it to be about?
Synastry observations
Natal chart observations
composite observations
Solar return observations
— Y’all literally if u find one of these placements in your synastrys it’s totally okay lol, I have multiple of these w my man and tbh some of them don’t really play this negative way for us, but i just did them for fun , ofc don’t take these TOO seriously 🥰
#astro community#astro observations#astro placements#astrology placements#astrology tumblr#obsessed synastry#asteroids in synastry#d9 chart#elegant#expensive#astro notes#astrology#red flags
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The Hypocrisy/Irony of Li Jing
Li Jing is an antagonist who quite literally dresses himself up as the "Hero", and whom is a weird mix of both the Lady bone Demon and Azure Lion.
First of all his colour scheme turquoise, is a colour often related to The Celistial Realm.
Notice how in the monkie kid crews "celistial realm outfits", the only colour they all have in common is turquoise.
Not even The Jade Emperor dressed himself in that much turquoise (he didnt even wear it at all). Which just goes to show how Li Jing views himself.
He even plans to become The new Jade Emperor, and will not have ANYONE stop him. (even if they arent even trying to stop him in the first place-)
Hell, as i talked about in my theory of how he might have impriossoned Nüwa, he and the rest of Celistal Realms biggest flaw is their intense focus on order.
Nezha's intense work habit in season 3 - 4 is big example of this, mixed with how accurate Azure was about the whole celistial realm system.
But honestly Li Jing just takes it to another LEVEL.
I swear, if he starts talking to Nezha about how he has: " Left his job in the Celistial Realm for the monkie kid crew"(aka leaving his "destiny"), we can very well perspectiv it back to THE LADY BONE DEMON, and her intense focus on "ORDER".
But as @lunamikobrony2 mentioned in my theory mentioned earlier:
The villians (aka. LBD and Azure Lion), have this way of wanting a "new and perfect order".
But as we saw with espically Azure Lion: Power corrups.
Azure Lion turned so quickly from: " The Jade Emepror is a fraud" to "Kneel before your emperor", in a matter of MINUTES.
Li Jing is very clearly going to do the same thing. He might even kill things he viwes as "imperfect", if we really want to make it 100% clear, that this man is A LOT like LBD.
And thats just the Hypocrisy.
The thing that honestly first caught my attention was how ironic his characther was set up VS the actual villians of the show.
Because even though both the 9 headed demon, and the 100 eyed demon were both shown in the trailer, LI JING, was the one clearly shown as the most "villianous", or atleast "antagonistic"
He is literally shown WORSE than two DEMONS. And some demons with some quite horrifying designs too i must say.
It honestly reminds me of how Belos, from the owl house, was also set up this way.
If you dont know, The Owl House takes place in quite literally the closest thing we got to Hell.
But is the scariest monster a demon, or a powerful evil witch?
No, the scariest guy is white cishet man from the 1600, dressed in the gold, who also thinks he is quite literally the messias. But in the end he becomes quite literally "The King of Demons."
(Watch a video about Belos it here, its amazing)
But, what is my point with this post? What do i want to tell?
Well my entire point with this is to point out how their is such a faint line between good and evil in this show.
And this is just scratching the surface of it. Because if this keeps being proven right in season 5, I will make an entire analysis video about this after the new season is out.
Where I will also be looking at Wukongs journey from an anti-villian to a hero.
The Celistial Realm VS The Mortal Realm VS The Underworld.
Nezha's philosophy vs Li jings philosphy and their entire relationshsip.
And a lot of other stuff, and how this is the reason for why this show is so amazing.
#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk theory#lmk season 5#monkie kid#lmk sun wukong#lmk analysis#lmk nuwa#lmk li jing#lmk nezha#lmk jade emperor#lego monkie kid nezha#lmk wukong#lmk monkie king#lmk monkey king#toh belos#emperor belos#the owl house belos#lmk theories#lmk season 5 theory#monkie kid season 5#lmk lbd#lmk lady bone demon#lego monkie kid lbd#lmk azure lion#lady bone demon
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My thoughts on Married in Red+ My general thoughts on Studio Investigrave !
So I really like this game
It was fun to be able to play it on my own with no help from Youtubers and stuff ^^
The game has 1 ending, though you can have 2 different kinds of game overs lol (I'll get to that later)
The mc (Bok-su) and her relationship with the bride (Da-Jeong) is sad , but not shocking lol. You can kind of tell from the promotional art (and the theme of atonement said in the itch.io description) that Da-Jeong and Bok-Su are not on good terms.
I like that Bok-su was able to get her revenge on Da-Jeong. Obviously her way of doing it is horrible, and the groom (Myeong-hoon) being a main part of her revenge is sad, because he had nothing to do with this.
However, I dont feel that bad for Da-Jeong at all. Yeah, two wrongs dont make a right, and people panic, but she essentially ruined Bok-Su's life and reputation to save her own ass, so I really can't bring myself to feel too bad for her.
Sure you can argue that the situations are different, with Bok-Su purposefully killing Myeong-Hoon meanwhile what Da-Jeong did was a mistake, but I personally am a firm believer of getting your lick back, so 🤗..
I also like how the deaths and reactions are the exact same lmao.
The patient Da-Jeong killed was a man, and his mother said something along the lines of like.. "You killed my son" (I dont exactly remember, depsite me literally just playing LMAOO) and Myeong-Hoons mom literally says the same thing/something adjacting to that too Da-Jeong.
Da-Jeong runs off and during her break down says "I didn't do it-", which is what Bok-Su says when shes retelling the story of what Da-Jeong did to her.
Bok-Su had to goal of getting her payback to make Da-Jeong atone and she accomplished it. And the crazy thing is, despite everything that happened, Da-Jeong never said sorry.
She never said sorry. Not when Bok-Su showed up to the wedding, not when the two of them where alone in the garden, and damn sure not when Da-Jeong had "enough" of Bok-Su being there.
She never said sorry, not even when she pointed the blame onto Bok-Su. In fact, Bok-Su repeats a line that Da-Jeong said to her when (I'm assuming so anyway) the incident happened. Da-Jeong told her that she didnt have anything to worry/be mad about.
The ending of the game, obviously, isnt really a happy ending. Bok-Su gets her revenge and makes Da-Jeong go through what she did but 10× worst. So sure its happy for her,but its still horrific lol
Which is why I love endings for the games that Studio Investigrave makes. With the exception of Cold Front, all of the endings across all the games arent truly happy ever after kind of endings.
With Dead Plate, Rody either has to kill Vincent after finding out his ex was killed and turned into food by him AND after he tried to do the same to Rody.
Yeah Rody makes it out alive, but theres still a horrible and traumatic incident that happened. He knows why Vince did it, and was able to get rid of him, but it doesn't erase the fact that Manon is still dead. (Or with the other ending he leaves the restaurant and never find Manon, because shes in the fridge "missing".)
With Elevator Hitch, the cycle repeats for Protag. When he finally gets the chance to leave the Elevator and the building, hes stopped by some..guy ?? (Who looks like an alternate lmao) and is convinced that he needs the job. The exit doors then open up into the elevator again. He never leaves that building, and is probably stuck in a time loop.
With Eloquent Countenance, Angelica either gets the ritual redone on her by the cult, or is stuck in the cult with the knowledge that shes not the only one in her body. But that she shares it with an angel pretending to be the dead wife of the cults pastor.
Yeah, she lives, but she has to wait until Forcas can fully save her from her possession by said angel. The ending, like Dead Plate and Married in Red, is horrific.
And then with the other ending of Cold Front , if you push Winnie off the stairs, he dies in the crash and Auggie takes his place. It's a happy ending for Auggie, sure, but he never gets the closure or the realization that Winnie was never the wicked and mean person he made him out to be in his head. Its disturbing how content he is with it, with the fact that his former best friend is dead and how he replaces him.
But yeah, erm... the game was fun, 10/10 ^^
#studio investigrave#dead plate#cold front#elevator hitch#eloquent countenance#married in red#long post#opinion#infodump#rant post
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How do you recreate the Hetalia artstyle so well
ok so.. .uhhhhhhhhhh honestly i dont even know how. which is why i am obviously qualified to make YOU, yes you, the person reading this, a tutorial
i psoted an incomplete tutorial on the hetalia art style some few months back and when i look back at it now, some things are just straight up wrong or need clarification (also its the same post where i accidentally sent multiple death threats to a random sex worker thinking they were just a porn bot oopsies) so if you guys still remember that, forget about it! all of it!!! this is a brand new, more accurate guide on how to draw himas style!
(quick warning though im just a weeb not a professional teacher by any means so dont take this as gospel and dont get mad if i got something wrong or something is confusing)
himastyle tutorial! (the better one) part 1
(link to part 2 here)
ok lets start off with the
HEADS
this is just the way i start drawing my heads personally. if i had to describe it, its basically a simplified stylized version of the loomis head method. proko has a good video on it! just give that a quick watch then take a look at my step by step guide
but besides this, there are some important things about the head that you should remember
the shape of the head is generally rectangular
compared to more typical ikemen styles, hetalia characters have a more rectangular head. HOWEVER their chins taper off to a very triangular shape. rarely do the chins flatten out like the guy on the left.
2. shorter face = younger/more feminine appearance
well... self explanatory. you can see in the diagram how changing the length of the face gives a character a more feminine/childish look.
if you feel that something looks kind of off, feel free to change it, but if it looks okay then lets move onto facial features!!!
NOSES:
ok so this might seem a little weird but i like drawing the nose first. its right in the middle of the face and is generally the easiest to get right. it also kind of acts as a divider between the eyes, especially useful when you're drawing in a 3/4 angle
which kind of look something like that i guess.....
or that if you want something less extreme
anyways while hetalia noses are kind of inconsistent they generally have the shape of these three lines. feminine/childlike characters have a smaller and subtler nose though
noses also never face fully straight ahead, so when drawing a front view, the nose slightly faces right or left (tbh himas characters rarely face the camera head on, so id refrain from drawing frontal views altogether but thats just me)
anyways lets move on to my second favorite part of the hetalia art style
EYES:
the eyes are the most important part of himas style. if all else fails, you can always recognize the style by the eyes. luckily for you, the eyes really arent complicated compared to other anime styles :D here is how i do it:
(feminine and childlike characters have bigger eyes)
you have probably noticed this but the pupils hima draws now has a more squiggly teary-eyed look compared to the pupils he drew then...
i subcounciously do a mixture of the two because i got used to drawing the old type, but if you wanna draw the new type of pupils just take note of their squigly shape and that they have one dominant highlight in the upper-middle area. uhhh.. or if youre like me just draw the old eyes as if you have parkinson's
anyways heres a step by step guide
and some fun eye variations!!! you can try using variants if youd like to give an oc a more unique look (you can also try making your own variants too but be careful of straying too far from the style)
so now about the eyebrow and the eyelid.... uhhh the eyelid doesnt really have a consistent length so just draw it however. feminine and childlike characters have thinner eyebrows but even then eyebrows should never be drawn as just a single line
we are close to finishing the face!!! now we can move onto
MOUTHS:
if you know how to draw a typical anime mouth, then hima mouths is easy peasy!
for closed mouths just draw a curved line with two dark blots for the corners of the mouth
i think that giving them a shaky look makes them look more expressive
open mouths are just random blobs, dont close off the bottom though, and theys till have those dark blots at the corner of the mouth
now then i'll move onto the
EARS + CHEEKS:
i decided to combine these two since these are probably the easiest parts of the face
hima's ears are pretty round and don't really vary in shape. inside the ears though....
it isnt very consistent, so don't think too hard about "getting them right". above are some ear variations i drew from one of the latest chapters of the manga
the cheeks are just a bunch of lines that can appear fully, or only on one cheek, or don't appear at all. i think it depends on level of detail, angle, or the character's emotion
these lines do not appear on rendered pieces
also if a character feels especially displeased they will gain heavy eyebags
so yay! we're pretty much done with the face!! look forward next time to where i cover hair, the body, and other stuff idk... i'll link the other parts to each other when i complete them
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since you're studying steel types, do you know what steel types would be best for kids? my baby cousin has recently developed an extreme obsession with the aron line and is begging her parents for a pet aron. which is obviously Not Feasible considering those things are capable of eating cars whole, so my uncle and aunt are looking into other steel types to appease her.
to be honest, i wouldn't recommed pretty much any pokemon that's steel type in its base form for a young child. a lot of them have sharp edges or points where a child's hand can get crushed; they tend to have specialized care needs with diets that aren't commercially available at pet stores, and hence need to be put together on your own; they can be incredibly heavy, which is another safety concern, and a lot of them are pretty large; and many of them just don't have a temperament and lifestyle that's suited to pet life. klefki is really the only one i can think of recommending to a very young child, and maybe a togedemaru to an older child who understands being careful about when and where to touch a pokemon. some pokemon that arent steel type until they evolve, like rookidee or female burmy in certain environments, make better pets that can be evolved later down the line if she's still sure about wanting to care for a steel type
but, at the same time, it might be better to indulge her love of aron in other ways! try finding her books and videos about aron care, getting her a plush aron, or taking her to a zoo where she can see one in person. some battling trainers will even happily let a kid see one of their pokemon. help her understand why she can't have an aron right now while also using this as an opportunity to encourage her interests and curiosity! even if she never does grow up to get an aron for herself, you'll still be fostering a love and respect for pokemon in her without dismissing what she finds interesting.
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unearthed.
jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern a.u., buzzfeed unsolved a.u.
summary ; you dont know just how many watchful souls listen to you and jean speak, waiting, watching. maybe it's just you, but the prison air feels warmer. warnings ; mentions of violence, a little horror (? literally just the tiniest bit), talks of death. cringe humor. a/n ; happy halloween my beloveds. crazy that halloween and diwali were on the same day. kinda poetic lowkey. im DEAD TIRED so ykw that means! happy fireflyfic day! (and happy diwali to those who celebrate :)) taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy
masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿
The prison wasnt eerie, which should’ve struck you as concerning.
No, rather, the opposite, the fact that it was a little too comfortable, a little too lived-in to be considered ghostly was what you found…weird. Or maybe it was jean’s presence next to yours, the coldness of the air masked by his warmth and stolen jacket perched over your shoulders that made the air feel a little more breathable.
Connie and marco are huddled over the camera, speaking in hushed whispers - some technical jargon that your brain is too tired to recognize.
Jean shifted from beside you, adjusting his own coat - not stolen - and thumbed the straps over his chest that snuggly held a smaller camera so it fit better over him. He cleared his throat when he caught you zoning out, “know your lines?” he asked, a prompt for you to speak your mind.
You smiled cheekily, looking at him under the dim, sole flashlight. “By heart. Scared, jean-boy?”
“Dont call me that on camera, please,” he says, eyes screwing shut when you shine your light straight into them.
“Have i ever embarrassed you? You do that to yourself more than i do,” “okay that’s…intentional. It helps with the character im going for.” you snort. “Damsel in distress?” he scoffs, “i had to save you last time, remember?” “that was just an excuse for you to hold my hand, you can admit it. The cameras arent rolling yet,” you tease, bumping your shoe with his worn-out converses. He lets you. There isnt much he doesnt let you do to him.
“Alright, cameras are gonna start in three…two.. One!” marco’s voice is characteristically calming, even at a higher pitch.
Your shoulders stand straighter as you look into the lens, placing the flashlight right under your chin. “hello, watchers! Welcome back to another episode of Unearth - a series where we try to gather evidence of the paranormal to see who wins - a believer,” you say, pointing the light under jeans chin briefly before settling it back under yours, “or a skeptic.” “it’s not a competition,” “right. Of course not.” you say, winking into the camera. Its jean’s turn to speak, his voice a low baritone, and you can see his breath becoming foggy into the now november air. “We are here today at the Marley Prison, rumored to be the host of seventy percent of the state’s most wanted criminals since the early eighteen hundred's. And we’re standing infront of it now and it’s fucking creepy,” “right, and it was also incredibly overcrowded, so-” “-so just, a terrible place to live in.” “yeah, but they killed people,” “...right. Most of them.” “i’ve heard it smells like shit,” you say, almost forgetting that this might get broadcasted, but jean’s eyes on you seemed to have that effect. forgetting the size of your own beating hear, forgetting where you were, melting away any proof of life except his.
He smirks, looking straight at the camera once more. “Right, that’s why i have-” he pulls out a small spray bottle. From what you could read, the text flashed, “FLOWER POWER!” and your smile turned into a laugh. “- this air freshener right here.” “right. That’ll protect us.” “if i get possessed i’d want.. It to smell, like-” “-like flower power-” “right.” now the both of you are laughing, shoulders shaking.
“Great. Let’s head inside, guys,” marco says, smile on his face, and eren puts the camera down to view what he had gathered.
“After you,” jean says, his shoes scruffing against the harsh stones underneath, spreading his arm infront of you as a guide.
“Pussy,” you muttered, making him sputter.
-
“Alright,” you say, settling on the cold hard ground. Cell number 509, holding the last inmate of the entire prison who passed away in the very same, cramped room. Only a mattress and a sink to keep him company, a small, hand-sized window on the wall opposite to the door, meant to be locked at all times.
“Dangerous people in this place,” you say, mostly to yourself. Your partner was on the ground floor of the vicinity, in another building entirely, investigating by himself. You decided to split up to see if that might spite any spirits to act, planning on asking questions to the different people that were barely alive, living in the space so freely disturbed. The camera crew were also downstairs, waiting on the two of you to be done. All you had was an old walkie-talkie that connected to jean’s.
“You there?” his voice - filled with static and concern - reaches the confines of the prison cell. “Yep. where are you?” you ask, sitting in the middle of the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, your flashlight flickering. “Im at the uh… that punishment place.” “ah. Im in Dean Cooper’s cell.” “oh,” he says. “Why dont we just use our phones for this part?” he asks, a beep following him. You smile. “I dont know, actually. Do you- should we?” “yeah that’d be.. I mean, better communication. Audio..quality - there are so many bugs here,” he speaks as you switch your phone on, dialing his number. He picks up not even a second in.
“Okay, can you hear me better?” he asks, and you rest your back against the thick wall. The door - heavy and cold - is fully closed so you could get a better experience, the full creeps. You nod, knowing he cant see it. “yep. Its crazy that people had to live like this,” you speak, holding the microphone part of your device close to your mouth, his voice on speaker. Something alive to fill the walls, more than your own presence. “Yeah. well it’s crazy that they committed so many crimes, honestly,” “i know.”
You’re supposed to be filming. Your camera is rolling already and youre supposed to be speaking to a presumed dead person but a holy one is roaming downstairs without you and all you have is his voice as proof. “Hey,” jean calls out, and you thank good network reception and technology to have his voice be so clear, without cuts, real against your hand. “Im at the uh… what’s it called? The place where they could talk to their loved ones right now.” “ah,” “it feels weird.” a beat of silence. “Weird how?” you ask, your voice quiet.
“Like-” theres a shifting sound at the end of the line, followed by a slight creak. “- weird in the sense that… i dont know, like, people still loved and cared for quote-unquote bad people,”
You hum. Your head now also rests against the wall, too unaware to keep it up, too comfortable to find your own muscles. “I dont know. You’re always better with the words and shit.” he says, and you give him a small laugh. “Words and shit?” “yeah like, you know what to say.” “i mean, these people are dead, jean, theres a real small chance they can even hear us.” “i know, but like, even to alive people.” its almost 3 am, your phone says, and your heart increases in size, a little too comfortable against your ribcage.
Have you ever felt that before? the muscle that’s supposed to be contained in a confined space now opens itself up and you have no choice but to let it. It grows, bigger, until youre body is tattered and all that remains as proof is your heart, big and timid, still beating, waiting for jean’s eyes to look at it. You havent. You wonder if any of the people half-alive in this place have.
“I mean, love is alot of patience,” you start, your fingers fiddling with the end of your jacket. A stray piece of thread. You hear him humming in agreement and continue, “maybe they just… couldnt say it. How many times have you been able to not say that you love someone, y’know? And then you get the chance to but then it gets lost in all the other unimportant things and maybe that… maybe that’s love. The unimportant things.” you say. Your fingers feel funny, tingly, hearing his voice saying something at the end of your sentence. Youre too caught up to say something important as a reply.
So you settle. Listen. “Like, imagining this place alive… y’know. Like not in a creepy way but in like… it’s - like so much time passed, and so much was said here.” he says. His voice holds importance in your hands, and you trace shapes into the side of your phone with your thumb as if its the back of his hand and you’ve taken it in yours, cold and patient, unimportant. Tracing shapes that cant be seen. He hears them though. It’s in every pause he takes, every breath he hears on your end of the line and he wonders if you know how your alive-ness makes him braver than the night. Brave enough to know that speaking is something to be accomplished, that you’re listening.
He stares at the glass window in front of him, sitting on the chairs that prisoners used to sit on with hope in their eyes. At least, that’s how he imagines it. Theres a small hole in the window, enough only to catch a couple breaths and silenced sentences and he can only imagine how the other person mightve felt, seeing their loved one behind a blurry and unkept screen.
“Im not going to empathize with them, obviously, but, i feel like… i mean, obviously this place was built to be inhumane. The fact that they even included that section of the prison, though.. I dont know. it's kinda nice.” you say, and he closes his eyes to pretend youre in front of him. Its not that hard, in all honesty, because your voice fills his ears and he’d rather listen to proof of the living - with her shoe kicking his, with her voice teasing his shrieks - rather than the minute but present proof of the dead. He knew someone - barely alive souls, watching - had to be listening to your conversation but he also knew that he was listening to it too and he’d rather commit to the cold of your familiar hands than the unfortunately lived-in warmth of this place.
“It is.” he agrees, his chin tilting up, his shoulders relaxing. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, microphone to his lips with the speaker on. He wasnt alone. His phone’s screen is blurry and unkept, but he wasnt alone.
“Y’know that’s what i find kind of… i dont know, comforting? About like, something this hopeless. That, like.. There’s a recreational room that they had. Like the option was there for them to sit down there and talk, maybe. I dont know how that wouldve gone-” you say, voice ending in a self-aware laugh, making him smile, “-but it was there, right. Same with this communication room…thingie. Like the option of loving is there.”
Your voice floats against the walls of the room, touches the glasses separating him and the world, before coming back to him. His chest feels funny, more aware that it’s there. Not just as an organ and something trivial that helps him breathe but now as something larger than himself. Something less candid, hidden under layers of clothing and skin built to be thick, raised to be soft, and it almost lays there, in front of him, inhaling the sound of your voice like it’s a new source of oxygen. And it grows. Alive.
“Option of loving,” he echoes, eyes now fluttering open and looking at the expanse of the tattered ceiling above him, spotting shapes. Option of loving. “Like even now there’s like.. Im sitting here, and there’s notches on the wall. Like the… four standing lines and then a slash through them. Like the hope of getting out isnt gone. Its… cool how humans just do that.” you say. He clings onto every word, his own little prayer against the dark, unsaid but important. Option of loving.
He looks back infront of him, staring at the glass window again. Theres gunk in the corners of it and spiderwebs claiming it as their home in a place as haunted as this. “And even if i dont… believe in ghosts it’s like…cool to think about in the sense that, i dont know, everything is a proof of life. Y’know?” you ask, ready for confirmation knowing that he’d provide it to you. Anything you’d ask.
“Thats… i didnt see it like that,” he admits, “i mean i just saw it as like… confirmation that dead people are dead and that if there’s an afterlife we have to chose a right way to live, something we’re proud of, so that we dont regret it when we’re… dead and roaming the halls, waiting to be found, yknow?” “like grief.” you answer, and he shifts in his seat, getting a bit more comfortable. He nods, knowing you wont see it. “Yeah. kind of.” “that’s…poetic. We should start a podcast-” “-shut up,” and both your voices are broken up by laughs, short and warm and proof of being alive and roaming the halls, waiting to be found.
There’s a dog howling in the distance. No light in the room that you’re in, barely any air, coolness of november flush against your skin despite your layers. His voice holds you, a little blanket, cocooning you around yourself. “Hey, you’re supposed to come find me,” you say, reminding him of his task of peering into the halls, asking ghosts and bugs to come closer to him. Whatever’s alive or half-dead or half-alive or half-already-living. “And you’re supposed to play twenty questions with your hot date,” “i think he’s pretty cold, actually,” you say, he laughs. Another shift in fabric, another creak - he’s gotten up from his place on the chair, now warmed, soon to be claimed by the prison’s musty air, but for now it’s there. Fully alive.
“My battery’s gonna die.” he says, voice a little solemn, his footsteps squeaking against the floor, rubber on hard cement. “We have walkie-talkies,” you provide, your voice full around it’s edges with your own smile and jean almost asks why youre smiling, but refrains. He’ll ask when he finds you. Or maybe he’ll tell you he’s in love with you. Or maybe the words will get lost under all the other unimportant things that he has to say to you.
Or maybe that’s just what love is. The unimportant things, layered, hidden, chest and heart, large, warm, growing.
#sorry this is bad guys#if it is dont tell me pleas#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein x reader#aot#jean kirstein x you#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#jean kirschtein#fireflys rambles#marco bodt#connie springer#eren yeager
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Idk if you plan on doing the "questions-about-character-x" list yet, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Marika (maybe with a side of Radagon but mostly the golden strumpet).
• favorite thing about them
nothing hits me harder than characters who lash out because of the injustice or suffering they’ve endured… there’s something so cathartic about characters who make their pain and anger felt in the world in a tangible and consequential way. Marika is this character to me!! I think it’s so powerful to introduce her as an all-powerful goddess, keeping her at a distance as this enigmatic figure who shaped the world as it is today and then shattered it, and then to humanize her by showing us where she comes from and what she went through… she was never just a cold, distant, uncaring deity, but a person, with very human motivations and flaws. learning her backstory gives us so much context for why she did the things that she did and gives us the opportunity to feel close to her and empathize with her… I think she was always sympathetic in the base game, but she still felt so distant, so I really love how the dlc fleshed her out and made her character so accessible
• least favorite thing about them
this isn’t even about her, but about how the fanbase has responded to her writing in the dlc because like dear god
it almost makes me want to avoid content of her which sucks because I really like her LOL
• favorite line
“Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices...”
absolutely fascinating quote… we don’t really know the context, so there’s many different ways to interpret it… Marika urging her children to become a lord or a god is interesting, because when she deposed the Gloam-Eyed Queen and removed Destined Death from the Elden Ring, it seemed like she was fighting hard to stay in power and to become “Eternal,” but her children succeeding her would necessarily end her reign? This also almost seems like she’s encouraging conflict between her children… there can only be one god and one lord, after all. we don’t know when the quote was spoken, but it almost seems to reference Ranni’s sacrifice of Godwyn on her path to godhood on her own terms? is this a warning? is it a challenge? is it just the words of an extremely jaded and cynical goddess?
• brOTP, ОТР
ok I’m gonna do away with this format here because I just want to list some of her relationships that I really like without having to categorize them:
Marika and Messmer: the dynamic of Marika being a god-queen whose grace is blinding, and her son being born cursed with a serpent of the lightless abyss is so good… him taking up the crusade on her behalf, of his own volition, because he hates how he was born so deeply and will do anything to try to atone for something that isn’t even his fault, committing horrors in her name, is SOOOO
Marika and Radagon: I love pondering where one of them starts and the other begins, how they have opposite goals and worldviews but exist in the same being. really good
Marika and Rennala: I wouldn’t call it an otp but I like it as a ship. Marika being the one to steal away Rennala’s husband, but she actually IS her husband. unparalleled dynamic
• nОТР
there arent any Marika ships I’ve seen that I dislike
• random headcanon
I think she was horrified and disgusted by Morgott and Mohg AND she loved them still. omen babies would have their horns cut off, usually causing them to die, but omen babies born of royalty did not have their horns cut off, so they were allowed to live… I love the idea that Marika couldn’t bear to sentence her children to death, but she also couldn’t bear to look at them because of her past, so they were confined to the Shunning Grounds
• unpopular opinion
*cracks knuckles*
SO MANY people have the wrong idea about her. you’ve got people saying everything she did was justified, she didn’t go far enough, “total hornsent death” etc etc. and on the other hand you’ve got people saying the dlc writing is terrible because it’s excusing Marika for her crimes, it’s baiting you to feel bad for the hornsent and then pulling a plot twist that actually, they were evil and Marika was good the whole time!
both of these interpretations are flawed because the story is not arguing that the hornsent are fundamentally evil people, and it is not arguing that Marika is now blameless because of what she suffered. the story is rife with moments of sympathy for the hornsent’s suffering and examples of the crusade’s inexcusable cruelty, and so much of what’s in the base game showcases the cruelty that Marika’s Order has inflicted. just because the story is giving Marika a sympathetic reason for why she is the way she is does not mean that these facts cease to exist! sympathy for Marika, sympathy for the hornsent, and condemnation for the Golden Order’s and the crusade’s crimes can all exist in the story at the same time!!!!!
• song i associate with them
…how about this: if anyone has a song in mind, leave it in the replies or tags!
• favorite picture of them
Ranni holding her head u_u
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