#which is why she most likely put me down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seefasterdraws · 8 months ago

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from the homumiko mines

#dgs #tgaa #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #homumiko #idk why mikotoba is taller in the kiss. hes on his tiptoes #the first one is inspired by the moment when sholmes puts his hands on ryu's neck so he can feel how cold they are from blood loss lol #anyway i continue to be deeply fascinated with early years homumiko #i feel like my view of their relationship is more slowburn than most #like. they were both not at their best when they met and i can very much see a scenario where they start living together w/out necessarily #liking each other #the last one in based on a line in 1-5 where gregson (?) says that after an hour of blood loss even sholmes piped down or something #which makes me think he would not shut up beforehand. and i think he'd say some stuff He Really Shouldn't Have #but susato wrote it off as delirium + she was too worried abt her dad and messing with the crime scene #que like 5 months later her going .........ohhhhhh #thats not how you write que i think. anyway

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calamitydaze · 8 months ago

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long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks

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bylertruther · 2 years ago

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kinda cool how in season one eleven escapes the lab thinking she's the monster & in season four eleven escapes the lab again knowing she never was and that none of what happened was ever her fault.

and how in season two she goes on a journey to figure out part of her past and is told by another of the lab's victims that she needs to find strength in pain and anger & in season four we saw that it was her mother calling her by her real, human name and telling her that she loved her that gave her enough strength to overpower evil and banish it from their dimension, not the hurt and rage she felt at her being taken away. and that again, she was able to perform a miracle and bring her friend back to life by thinking of the love she showed her and the way she had always treated her like she was a human being.

she and her story are just really cool, methinks.

#being selflessly loved and treated like a human being what gives characters who have never once been shown that before without having to #give something back in return the strength to fight back and reach their final form is something that can be so personal #like. why am i crying in the club right now #terry called her JANE not a number but a NAME a real HUMAN name and told her she loved her!#and max treated her like a PERSON like a GIRL not a weapon or a superhero and she never asked eleven to do anything for her #she just loved her and treated her like a normal girl like a normal friend #and it was THAT which gave eleven the most strength #eleven who has always had to give in order to get eleven who gets punished whenever she steps outside of the box people put her in #eleven who didn't know that people could LIKE things until season three eleven who had never felt like a girl until season 3 #eleven who finds her strength to release herself from henry's vines when she looks at max and remembers tht she has to fight #for her the same way that max fought for her then bc she loves her she loves her friend so much #eleven who looks at a man who has never been treated like a person and in her last moments thinks of her mother and the fact that #she was loved and she was given a name that she is still a person despite everything that there is still kindness in this world and #THAT is what gives her the strength to save herself and literally unmake him and tear a fucking hole in time and space like.#are you kidding me bro how do u expect me to realize all of that and NOT cry like 😭#the power of love... and being treated like a human being... to be seen and understood... there is always a light to be found in the dark #i'm . someone sedate me please for the love of god SEDATE ME PUT ME DOWN SHOOT A HORSE TRANQUILIZER AT MY ASS PELA SE

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lunar-fey · 3 months ago

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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this #like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job #“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you #can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will #and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work #and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response #and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY #PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack #of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance #his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me #and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.

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demoniccrowz · 3 months ago

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My brother just gave me another idea accidentally </3 he doesn’t understand the importance of it to me ;-;

#He was talking randomly and he said ‘why don’t they just kill villians’ (in like books and stuff)#And my d.d was like ‘because killing is wrong’#And he was like ‘the only maximum security prison is death’ as a joke #BUT LIKE. IT GOT MY BRAIN DOING ITS THINKING THING AND.#HEAR. HEAR ME OUT.#A VILLAIN!PHILZA FIC OR A VILLAIN!SBI FIC DOESNT MATTER WHICH PROBABLY JUST PHIL BUT YKNOW #WHERE MUMZA IS THE WARDEN TO A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON AND PHIL #AS THE MOST DANGEROUS VILLAIN IN THE CITY #SOMEHOW GOT CAUGHT AND THEY PUT HIM IN THERE BUT SHES SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM AND AND AND AND -gunshot-#villain philza minecraft #villain sbi au #villain Philza au #help #This literally made me like jump up and down I love this idea so much

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moe-broey · 4 months ago

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No context but I got So distracted. I did not set out to do All That today. I don't even know where the fuck I am anymore. It was all an impulse decision and I didn't even write down the second distraction because it was So Strong. In my mind. But then a second distraction hit my two braincells. I have no idea whwre I am anymore. I was just gonna whip up a shitpost doodle and then go back to my main project. I never even got to the shitpost doodle. 🧍

#okay fine full context. i was hit w a vision last night due to a pet peeve like No Hate but Damn #people will really just put any guy in this specific format. and obvs epic trans headcanons forever i have nothing but respect 🫡#but like. it just irked me and made me ask myself Well. who WOULD fit this format in my beautiful mind palace #who. in my mind. has LAYERS of lore surrounding my trans hc for him. who would fucking say that. some sort of mentor perhaps #and who would ASK him that. what would PROMPT that. under WHAT PLAUSIBLE CONDITIONS #esp i think bc the topic makes me so fucking dysphoric too i go insane and die 1000 deaths about it routinely #to the point where i straight up almost never talk about it. i refuse to even acknowledge it.#which is. i think why this got to me so much LMFAOOOOOO I'M. ANGRY. HOW DARE YOU HAVE FUN WHILE I'M DYING. BADLY.#in a way that i just could never allow myself to have fun w bc I Am Above It. you CANNOT get me. i'm WINNING.#takumi has too much pride so not him. moe has too much pride so not it either.#no.... this is. a job. for Bruno.......#and sharena my best friend sharena my sillie goofy about to jump to the most INSANE conclusion bestie sharena 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#but then. realization. i have to revisit my 'back in the day' designs for the askr sibs and ESP bruno.#and honestly i just needed to completely revamp him. okay. no probalm! 👍 i am revisiting my back in the day alfonse hcs #really Thinking about them. i doodle One Thing about how if alfonse wants to build any muscle #he needs proper nutrition. he is SCRAWNY. he is TWIGGY. he only has weight in his thighs abd really not as much as he shoulf #i get distractef. i am making a comic. anna is there. she is also a mentor. the comic is about learning life skills/food #I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS. I CAN'T FORGET. I NEED TO GO. GOODBYE #worte it down but alsp i got plans i gotta go for REAL. GOODGBEY

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death-rebirth-senshi · 1 year ago

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RANNI DOESN'T *WANT* RADAHN DEAD WE DO THAT ON OUR OWN WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING!!!

Unless I'm missing some dialogue from Ranni after you learn this.

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure if you told Ranni beforehand she wouldn't be overly torn up about it and tell you to get his ass, especially given his current state.

(A lot of people that blame Ranni for Radahn's death seem to ignore, for some reason, that Radahn is in a state of constant suffering and wants to die, which is the reason Jerren holds the festival.)

#me vs elden ring #idk I see so many 'Ranni killed Radahn' type takes and it's like. For starters you do that.#Secondly he's in a state of constantly dying/rotting when we find him and he's like a rabid animal #that needs to be put down. His most trusted soldier agrees.#killing him is a mercy.#what kind of stans are you...#'Ranni said 'murder my older brother in cold blood or I'll have your head tarnished' very disrespectful'#honestly I'd stan Ranni harder if she did say that why was literally no one like 'hm maybe the stars not moving is relevant'#we don't know much about how fate works in Elden Ring exactly but you have to wonder #whether Radahn's actions had some repercussions. Beyond keeping Ranni's fate in stasis #which I also don't think was his intention or done on behalf of the golden order. But it was a bonus for them #or maybe it's something that came to bite them in the ass in the end. Hard to say. Stagnation and all that.#also interesting that the Elden Beast is a fallen star; what else might have been kept out

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camellia-thea · 4 months ago

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i'm still thinking about the conversation i witnessed last night :/

#didn't weigh in when it was happening because Brain and just witnessing it was enough to trigger Fear:tm: and fight/flight #lots of complicated feelings about it #all bad feelings #but just. sometimes you witness things that just annihilate your opinions of someone so fast #and i just. don't want to see or talk to her again.#which is a problem because she's tried to initiate a weird romance-flirtation thing over the course of three years.#which i initially reciprocated then gently started to discourage #(she was like ''no romance between us i don't want to do anything long distance'' proceeds to ask me to fly up to see her.#offers to pay for flights and have me stay with her. asks me out on a date (that i didn't know was a date until she kissed me)??)#and ahhhhh. i can't tell if it's still me coming down from it or if i genuinely feel Legitimately Unsafe or just. ableism-linked discomfort #like. i don't think she'd hurt me. maybe. but i also know that she will not examine why she has isolated and harmed two of her friends.#but this has also completely put into doubt the idea of her *not* causing harm? so i don't know anymore #she also said that one of the most harmful recent representations of my disorder was ''humanising'' :///#(which was immediately preceded by her calling it infantilising. :) )#and then did not listen when it was called out as Active Harm #and then! tried to compare it to a fucking kids film from thirty years ago! about capacity for influence!#and it's just. i'm so fucking tired of trying to correct her #because i am aware that i have a little more influence over her opinions because she has said that she wants me to think well of her #and i have witnessed it with her backtracking hard on things i've criticised even if she's just been supporting whatever was there #and like. i don't want to talk to her anymore. that's a solid thing. i just don't. but i don't want to not explain why?#because that doesn't allow capacity for change and growth and i don't think it's productive #for me at least? i'd prefer for her to know why #but also. she's a significant presence in our social circle and her brother is too #and i don't want to isolate him because he's great and i love him #but. how do you deal with that???#i don't even know.#i keep circling around it.

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skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago

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gritting my teeth so hard sparks fly out why is it so hard to ask people to sit down and watch something you like with you

#about to propose watching yyh with my folks even though the honter honter watchthru attempt i tried in early highschool #was actually emotionally devastating and damaged me for years afterwards. HOW DO I PROPOSE WATCHING THINGS #gonna attempt to get my mom in on it bc she's way more down to watch stuff w us and has done so w like. western cartoons before #whereas my dad is like nah thats lame and moves on. so this relies on the theory that my key failure #last time was in choosing my dad as the target for bonding exercises. but he's here rn so it'd feel awkward to exclude him #but he's prolly gonna scoff and sigh and laugh at it and stuff if he's here and my mom'll go along #instead of giving it a chance. aughh i shouldn't do this im not emotionally stable enough to bear my heart like this again #yyy's probably the series im most sensitive about/an insult to it would wreck me for days about atm #which is dumb but I can't just stop being like that! i care too much!! but i also really wanna for some reason #ughh why is it so much harder with parents than with friends.. (<- perfectly aware of the reasons)#prbbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrrrr.... sorry im moping and putting off asking by making this. augh #it's even worse when it starts kinda rough. hands and knees forehead to the floor BEGGING i swear it gets better i swear it gets better i se #GAH. AUGH. whatever im doing it. IM DOING IT. RRRAAAAAAAGHHH

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arolesbianism · 6 months ago

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Some swap au Olivia and Jackie concepts for the main 3 universes 👍

#keese draws #oni posting #first two are from the main rat universe #long story short a while after founding gravitas olivia was like ok so I think me being your boss in our company that we spend most of our #days at has left our relationship in a place that I’m uncomfortable with so we’re getting a divorce now sorry #and jackie proceeded to throw a fit abt that for several years until she got fired over it #in another petty act she tried to break back in to steal some of the work she had done there but got caught #and unfortunately for her during the past several years olivia has been slowly having mere morals broken down piece by piece by the allure #of progress and by the time she did her breaking and entering scheme olivia was far past the point of being ok with kidnapping #the second two are the rabbit universe girlies and they’re less openly hostile with eachother but they still are bad for eachother #they’ve known eachother since childhood and jackie has basically been using olivia as a therapist since they were teens #this lead to them developing an increasingly unhealthy codependent relationship where olivia ends up acting incredibly irresponsibly as #director of gravitas due to her being so stressed and paranoid about jackie all the time #and the third two are the raccoon au which is basically just jackie being too scared of rejection to put her work under her name so she #asks olivia to take credit for it which she does and she ends up getting all the credit and praise for a lot of the early work at gravitas #this combined with jackie’s constant worshipping of her slowly began to lead to it kinda getting into her head #and jackie was also letting it get to her head and eventually her ambition got the better of her and she ended up attacking olivia #now these are all just the basic concepts I currently have these aus are all still in the concept stages #for example I’m still figuring out how I wanna involve the other scientists and if I switch their roles around too #but yeah I’ve been thinking abt these guys lately so they get drawn 👍#oh also fun fact these aus are inspired by the scrapped content back when olivia was jodi #which is why I characterize these two a bit differently then I might if I was leaning more towards my normal stuff #theyre characterized more closely to old jackie and jodie including origin story wise

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revenantghost · 1 year ago

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I’m gonna stop for the night at episode three because 1. It’s past my bedtime and 2. I’m so frustrated at the screenshot situation, BUT! I’ve gotta say the casting for the side characters in the dub is eerily accurate at times, whoever cast them deserves a reward.

#As for the main cast:#I'm blinded as JYB as Vash there is no other English Vash that's just how it is #Roberto's got a bit more of a... kick to him?#He's less run-down and tired than JP Roberto #All I know is he's gonna say Millions Spoons at some point and I'm just WAITING #Meryl and Knives are the most different #Knives is just more of a villian #Which I remember was a request Orange made #(I have a theory as to why)#MERYL THO she's the most different imo #I'm not sure what I think of her yet I'll put a pin in that #I've seen clips of Woofwoof but I withhold judgement until I see a whole episode #Overall I DEFINITELY prefer the sub but also like #It's how I've experienced it a dozen times already and the actors also killed it that #*there #It's not a one is bad and one is good situation #They're both VERY good #But also the fact that they nerfed the sound design in the dub is a BIG point against it for me #Idk if any of this makes sense I'm tired and rambling #GOOD NIGHT #Yadda yadda

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queerstudiesnatural · 2 years ago

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ok well. just went to see a neuropsychologist and all she asked me were the standard questions you find in every internet autism test. which i KNOW don't apply to me ("do you find it difficult to infer people's intentions", "do you find it difficult to read between the lines" etc) and like she was literally reading off of her computer and asking me to pick one of the options between "strongly agree" and "strongly disagree" and it's like girl i could have done that at home. sure hope she's not stopping there and that she's not gonna just look at what i said but at the way i said it. idk it irked me that she just pulled up the old (as in outdated and reductive) standardised test on her computer and acted as if those questions would make me question myself like girl i've done this test fifteen times. not only is it not going to tell you anything about me but it's not going to tell you anything about most people. and most autistics. and she did suggest i come back for a more formal and global assessment, but she also kept using the words "cognitive deficit" to describe autism. which i realise is a commonly used term, but it feels reductive idk. so overall i'm not overjoyed with how this went lol.

#i'm sure she was reading between the lines etc #but the mere fact that she used that test (which is like 5 questions long and only applies to a small portion of autistic people)#rubbed me the wrong way #ok ok i need to tell myself that she knows what she's doing and she didn't stop at the questions #because i pretty much gave the neurotypical answer to all of her questions in terms of which button to click #but then i was like yeah i can read between the lines i've been analysing people my entire life it's my favourite hobby #ok yeah she probably knows what she's doing and isn't stopping at the stupid questions #i have to believe that otherwise i just threw 60€ down the drain #oh also she kept asking why i wanna know i was like girl idk i just do!!!#if i don't know for sure what the fuck is wrong with me soon i'm gonna die i think i'm going to spontaneously combust #she asked me three times. like but WHY do you wanna know?? what is it going to accomplish?? my peace of fucking mind that's what #idk why people are always like why do you wanna know why do you have to put a label on everything #ummm this isn't a fucking aesthetic ok we're talking about knowing the reason why i can't fucking function yeah i wanna know!!!#and if it's not autism (which i'm not sure i trust this woman to tell me) then it's something else bc there's no way i'm just normal lol #i need a diagnosis i just do it's not going to accomplish anything tangible i just need to understand things and most of all my own brain #oof i need to calm down i'm getting worked up

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gentlethorns · 1 year ago

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i have always been and will always be utterly fucking insane. help

#she bork #tbd #i am so so so so anxious and idk why!!!!! we found a house just need to get two of our roommates subleased from their apartments so it's not #the house hunt and i've stopped worrying about grad school as well since there's no use worrying about all the ifs and pros and cons when #idek if i'll get accepted in the first place so i don't think it's that either. idk i'm just like off the chain like i was putting up ad at #work literally thee MOST low-pressure activity imaginable and i was like about to have a panic attack like why!!!!!! i've had like three #cups of green tea which is caffeinated but not heavily so like probably the equivalent of two cups of coffee so it shouldn't be affecting me #like this. work is also stressful rn bc we keep rolling freight due to call ins so maybe that? i have no idea i just know i want to throw up #lmfao. idk maybe i'm not getting enough vitamin d bc i'm already deficient and daylight savings time has reeeeaaally cut down on my sun #exposure not to mention the weather has been super cloudy so maybe it's that. or maybe the idea of so much change at once is scaring me even #though it seems like it's all gonna work out and ik that it will bc it always does but change is just scary. so maybe that. regardless i #wish i would just fucking calm down i'm miserable

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rose-lalondde · 2 years ago

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oh ive never talked about my Hinata-centric To All The Boys I've Loved Before fic idea here lol