#which is why in every universe i am making their lives worse

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

just got an absolutely despicable idea for a Stevepop fic I need u guys to know I am making this exact face

[the-casbah-way]

sometimes being so overly sensitive makes it hard to function like how do people do it. today we drove past three dead pheasants and i'm expected to be fine about the fact that they died alone and in pain and everyone keeps driving as if they never mattered. as if they didn't live and breathe and think. ok

[physalian]

On Writing Characters with Hyper-Specific Triggers (and a PSA)

*Trigger warning for this whole post

Once upon a time, I had a roommate. Nothing looked wrong from the outside and this narcissist probably thought nothing was wrong on the inside, but there was. I knew moving in with them was a mistake, but financial circumstances demanded I shut up and try to make the most of it. Enter the longest thirteen months of aPTSD-inducing psychological stalemate I hope to never repeat again. Seven of which were on overdrive.

The why doesn’t matter. The how doesn’t matter. What matters is that this roommate was so toxic, there was no point in attempting to talk things out because any little thing could be a land mine for starting an argument and it didn’t matter what casualties got caught in the crossfire, so long as this person “won”. Casualties including our friendship. So if any little thing, anything at all, could be a land mind, what do you do if not try to completely avoid them? For seven months.

This person’s work schedule was incredibly erratic, but they were gone more hours than not, and when they were home, they were usually asleep. In those few overlapping hours where we were both awake, I could not leave my room for fear of said verbal land mines. If I wanted to cook, leave the apartment, get anything from the living room or my desk that I had to abandon, get more water from the fridge, I had to do it before they got home, or after they went to bed, and I could never predict when they’d be home.

Luckily (or unluckily), my room faced the parking lot, and this roommate drove a car that made a very specific sound. From the moment I heard that car from my room, I had about 20 seconds to shut down whatever I was doing in the apartment, retreat to my room, and lock the door. Overreacting? Potentially, I wasn’t in any physical danger, but this was seven months of near complete isolation from any other friends, and the fear of making it worse kept me silent.

So, 20 seconds from the moment I hear the telltale whine of that engine. If I couldn’t hear the car, our front door had a lock that chimes and I had about 7 seconds from the first chime to the door opening to get the fuck out of the way. I lost weight that I couldn’t afford to lose from being unable to cook past a certain time in the evening and staying locked in my room on their days off.

Seven months of only having a door chime and an engine to tell me when it was safe and when I had to run.

—

These chime locks are the new normal and one year removed from that apartment, every time I hear it and I’m already stressed, it’s a trigger.

Every time I’m on the highway and I see a dark grey sedan of that make, that is the most important car on the road until I make sure it’s not their car.

Every time I see a dark grey sedan parked in reverse, as they habitually did, that is the most important car in the parking lot until I make sure it’s not theirs.

Every time I have to drive near a certain location where they work, I am watching for that car.

I could pick it out from 200 others. I know the license plate, I know the license plate frame, I know what sticks to the windshield, I know what hangs from the rearview mirror. I would know that car rusted and crushed in an impound lot.

So. Today I drive home and I pass a rear-parked car one turn before my unit, and I think to myself, “that’s not X’s car, but I noticed it, I’m never not going to notice it.” It wasn’t the same make, model, or color, it was just a sedan with its nose sticking out and that was enough.

Then I turn the corner. And there it is. My ex-roommate’s car.

I shit you not it was like I had a warning from the Universe before it hit.

I don’t need to check the windshield, I know it’s theirs. I’ve seen it in my complex once before. The last time I did, I’d parked my own car and waited, got out, and hid between two others in the dark, waiting for this person to leave.

Today, in broad daylight, that car is empty. They happened to arrive while I was gone for 30 minutes. So I park, and I wait. I watch that car from my side mirror. I scan the sidewalk for them and I don’t see anything. I have frozens that can’t wait.

I’m thinking to myself, of all the parking spots in all the parking lots, of all the apartments in this godforsaken town, you parked right behind my spot.

Nothing happened, and even if we crossed paths, nothing probably would have happened (that’s how they worked, pretending nothing was ever wrong and that I was the crazy one). But I still waited, and when I decided to leave, I moved as fast as possible without drawing attention. One whole year removed from that person.

—

It doesn’t take physical abuse, or yelling and screaming and death threats. It doesn’t need to be a parent or a sibling, a relative, or a romantic partner. This person never touched me, never screamed (though they did yell on occasion), never actually threatened anything. They never called me names, were never direct with any of their insults, were never explicitly petty. I had no proof. Ever.

I just had example after example of every time they cut me down to feel smart, picked on me to feel better about themselves and project their own insecurities and jealousy, or used me as their emotional punching bag because of choices they made.

So a year after completely cutting them out, there’s that fucking car parked outside my apartment.

Media portrays “triggers” usually only in characters who are veterans. Noises that sound like gunshots, or thunder, fireworks, because that’s what we think of when we see PTSD—people who fought in wars.

It’s not like I sit around fixating on that car or that door chime (and actually with exposure to that chime every day with no consequences it’s gotten better), but that’s the point. They come out of nowhere when you least expect it. They don’t prepare you for their arrival, they just happen.

I didn’t have anything close to a panic attack, but nothing in the universe was more important in that moment than making sure I didn’t run into this person, until I calmed down.

Trigger attacks don’t have to be this big flashy thing, born of big flashy movements. It can be something as subdued as going quiet, staring at the thing, and your brain dumping everything else except all the potential outcomes of not escaping this situation immediately. It’s just a car. It’s not like an evil Big Dick truck with smokestacks and truck nuts and a MAGA flag on the back. It’s just a nerdy sedan that could belong to anyone.

—

So. PSA.

What you think might be an overreaction by someone you care about, they probably think is an overreaction, too. Did I want to have fate shit on my day and spend extra minutes under the hot sun when I have chores to do? No. But it happened.

What you think a trigger is supposed to look like or what the symptoms are supposed to be are not just what’s dramatic and flashy for the TV. Here I am writing a whole blog post about it instead of just moving on and I can't go back and check for typos because I don't want to have to reread it.

Do you want to die on a hill of “get over it” when someone you care about would love nothing more? Just. Be there for them.

And to writers, artists, anyone—it doesn’t have to be dramatic to be the most upsetting part of someone’s day. Including such simple things as a door chime, or the sound of an engine, really helps with visibility so people like me don’t think “I’m not allowed to feel this way, I didn’t actually suffer like a shell-shocked veteran”.

Most of us never will. That doesn’t make any of our hardships any less valid. Please be kind.

[seeingivy]

3:45 am

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

an: I can't find the request, but someone asked for a sukuna version of the 3:45 am chapter of roommate eren! here it is <3

“why do you have such a shit face?” 

you look up from your computer to find sukuna lingering by the door – fidgeting with the buttons of his collar and the end of his tie – as he spares you an irritated glance. it’s one that you return right back, before hunching back over the table and focusing back in on the lab report you were writing. 

“i’m talking to you.” 

sukuna shuffles over to your side, before crouching down till your faces are side by side, the breaths coming out of his nose tickling the bare skin on your shoulder. 

“i have such a shit face because i looked at you.” you mumble. 

sukuna sucks in a breath, almost like he’s trying hard to conceal his laughter, before he pulls closer, leaning his chin on your collarbone. the proximity makes it hard to ignore the sweet smell of his shampoo, which only gets worse when it’s accompanied by the sharp scent of his cologne. 

“is that any way…to repay my kindness?” sukuna questions. 

you roll your eyes, lightly jolting your shoulder up to get him to stop leaning on you. and he takes the hint just as much, as he draws up the chair at your side and pulls closer to see the molecules that you’re constructing on your computer. 

“you know, when you said you were going to do this favor for me, i wasn’t exactly expecting that you were going to hold it over my head this way.” 

ryomen sukuna was just an acquaintance – who happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time – and then he wasn’t. 

it’s because he has a moral compass. or because really, he feels guilty for not telling you earlier – especially when he’s seen other friends of his in the same position as you. so when he found you down on your luck – getting cheated on by your boyfriend, who you lived with, by your best friend of all people – he offered you the extra room that he had in his apartment. 

i’m lots of things, but i’m not a sadist. that’s what he said when you snuck out in the middle of the night, all of your things packed into a box that you subsequently emptied out into the free room that he offered. he had hell to pay from your ex-boyfriend the next day, the two of them jostling it out on the basketball court, before they both got reprimanded by the coach and decided to keep their distance 

sukuna isn’t a bad roommate. he isn’t exactly a good roommate per say either. because the sweet kindness that he offered you wore off around the second day and you realized that really – he was one of the most irritating people that’s every walked the surface of this earth. 

he brought over girls – tons of them. and when you asked him to keep it down, just so you could get some assignments done or study for an exam, he’d make it a point to bring multiple girls over – just to see the irritated expression on your face. 

he’d make up for it of course. because what he lacked in face-forward politeness, he made up for with his quiet gestures. like making you breakfast the morning of said exam – set with a matcha latte that he learned how to make special for you, because you don’t like the taste of coffee. or whenever he found you crying, he’d always let you rant it out – but not without giving you a few insults about how you had no standards here and there. 

“i think it’s dumb as fuck that you aren’t going tonight.” sukuna says. 

you slam the enter key on your computer. 

“your opinion has been noted.” you respond. 

“then come.” he grates. 

athletes at the university get to attend a formal at the end of each semester. it’s a nice dinner, accompanied with a horrible DJ, and a weird mix of sentimental speeches.

really, it was actually your idea of fun. only because it always felt nice to go to events like this. it was one of the few excuses you had to use the pretty dresses that you had in your closet, actually blow out your hair to make it look nice, and use the pretty glitters that your sister had given you for your birthday last year. 

and even more than that, it always felt nice to be shown off. because you’d meet tons of people who had heard all about you – the coach, the athletic trainers – who’d all give you sweet comments about how you were far too good for your boyfriend, who would then make some silly comment about how he never knew how he got you to talk to him in the first place. 

sukuna offered to accompany you. and also promised that he’d sneak some kind of contraband in so that the two of you could actually have fun – but it was something you denied. you denied most of the offers that he made that were similar to this, even though he was quite persistent, only because you knew that it wasn’t the right time. 

for better lack of words, you felt like a kicked dog. and you needed time to recover – before you could see your old best friends, or your ex-boyfriend, or really anyone outside the three circle rotation of people that you were able to tolerate. 

“i won’t have fun. and i don’t want to be a downer on the one night that’s supposed to be for you.” you respond. 

“well, you’re always a downer. so it won’t exactly make a difference.” sukuna responds. 

“thanks. that really makes me feel better, sukuna.” 

“i live to serve.” he responds, before bracing his hands against the table and pushing off. 

he spares you one last glance before stopping at the mirror near door, toussling with his hair and the piercings hanging from his ears. it’s a passing thought that you immediately banish – that panging in your chest at the thought of sukuna enjoying the night with a lanky girl on his arm. 

“you know, if you stare for any longer, you’re going to fall in.” you respond. 

“hilarious.” he deadpans. 

“who are you going with? i’ll have to make a phone call and let her know that she’s just going to have to find her own ride.” 

“no one.” 

you feign shock, pressing one of your hands to your chest – and really, trying to hide the secret delight that you’re reveling in. 

“wow. did hell freeze over?” 

“just didn’t feel like it. this type of shit is always kind of boring.” sukuna responds. 

you shrug. 

“i don’t know. i always thought it was kind of fun.” 

sukuna turns around, sparing you one last glance. 

“you know, i do recall that you would stand in the corner and talk to the moms all night. that sounds like my personal nightmare.” 

you smile. 

“well, that’s just because the moms don’t really like you. i however get along with them quite well.” 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“i’m sure that’s true. i’ll see you, okay? don’t sleep too late.” 

you give him a sly look. 

“worried about me?” 

“no, you just look ugly with eye bags.” 

--

you do not take sukuna’s advice. instead, you finish up your lab report and open a bottle of pink wine – to accompany you in your endeavors to watch ten things i hate about you. 

and it goes considerably well – until you hear a slamming pounding on your door at 3:45 am. you reach for the closest jacket, one of sukuna’s hoodies, before pulling it over your shorts and peeking out of the peephole. 

you swing the door open. 

“right. hi.” 

you pause. 

“megumi, right?” 

“yeah. just bringing sukuna back. he’s plastered.” 

you look down to where he’s gesturing to find sukuna slumped against the wall, offering you a half hearted smile from his bloodied nose. 

“right. well, thanks for bringing him back. what happened to his face?” 

“same as last time.” 

you roll your eyes, as megumi drags sukuna up by the arms. he stumbles in the air, leaning his weight against you, as you shoot megumi one last smile before slamming the door shut. 

the sweet smell of his shampoo and cologne is gone all together – now replaced with the mix of metallic blood, sweat, and the faintest smell of beer. 

“sit down, sukuna. i’m going to clean you up.” you mumble, trying to stabilize him in the air to stand by himself. 

“y/n?” he asks, before stumbling in the air. 

you reach forward, trying to brace his fall as he looks down at you – suddenly somewhat awake as his face breaks out into a small smile. he reaches forward, bringing one of his bloodied knuckles to cup the side of your face. 

“y/n.” he whispers. 

you swallow the block in your throat in your stomach. 

“don’t try to sweet talk me. i’m mad at you.” you respond, dragging him towards the center before leaning him against the kitchen counter. 

you reach down to the bottom of the sink, setting a glass of water aside and pulling out the little box of first aid that you had put together once you got here and put it at his side. you open up the neatly organized compartments, pulling out the gauze and the alcohol wipes, before turning back to him. 

“don’t be mad, princess.” he mumbles. 

you feel your cheeks burn. 

“don’t call me that.” 

“isn’t that what you are? my little brat?” 

you scoff. 

“are you trying to insult me?” you ask, reaching for his left hand first and swiping the area clean. 

“you have no…no idea what i think about you.” 

you reach for the wrappings, tucking them in against the callousness of his hands, as he looks down, locking his fingers in with yours. and then he leans forward, snaking one of his hands around your neck. 

you quickly shuffle yourself out of his embrace, before lightly pushing him back. he seems to take the cue, before you lean forward again, slightly hesitant this time, as you wipe the area around his nose. 

“why’d you fight with him this time?” 

sukuna scrunches his face up – irritated at the mention of the past few hours. 

“nothing he didn’t fucking deserve.” 

“right. last time, he missed a three pointer and you socked him in the face. so let me guess, he was two hours late today and you just got carried away?” 

sukuna scoffs. 

“he was running his mouth.” 

your curiosity has piqued. 

“about?” 

“you.” sukuna slurs. 

you smile. 

“so glad to see you had sound judgment tonight, sukuna.” you respond, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

sukuna leans forward, his lips a little too dangerously close as he rests his hands at the sides of your waist. 

“he brought that stupid bitch with him.” 

“sukuna.” you warn. 

“he brought. that stupid bitch with him. and he had the nerve to stand there and talk shit about you.” sukuna responds. 

you reach for the glass and place it in his hands, offering him a smile. 

“just drink the water to sober up a little bit. it’s late.” 

sukuna gives you a glare, as you let go of the glass, only for him to spill the entirety of it on you with his shaky hands. he barely registers that he did it – and you suppose that it’s really your fault for trusting him to hold the glass on his own – as you swing your arm around his torso and lead him towards his room. 

he flops onto the bed as you rummage through his drawers, pulling out a pair of pants and shirt for him as you turn back around. 

“sukuna. get up and change and you can sleep all you want.” you coax. 

he responds with an unintelligible noise – further muffled by the fact that he’s face down on the bed – as you reach for one of his arms and pull. he somewhat works with you, sitting up as he wobbles, and reaches for the tie around his neck and tosses it aside. 

his first struggle comes with the buttons. because he can’t seem to coordinate his fingers well enough to push the buttons through the holes – and obviously, with the short temper he has, gives up in all but three seconds. 

“help.” 

you roll your eyes as he stands up, leaning against you as you reach forward, and slowly unbutton down the length of the shirt. 

“you drive me crazy, you know that?” sukuna whispers. 

you ignore the comment as you pull the shirt down the length of his arms – exposing the tattoos that you’ve always wondered about, that peek out of the sleeves of his shirt or neck. you hand him the shirt, which he tosses aside. 

“too hot.” 

“okay, well. just put the pants on and then i’ll leave. i’ll turn around.” you respond. 

you turn around, twisting the rings on your fingers as you wait for him to finish, only to me met what could possibly be your worst nightmare. 

“y/n. wait, fuck. you have to help.” he whines. 

you turn around to look at him, only to find that he’s still wearing his pants. 

“what?” 

“the button. i can’t…” 

you feel your throat dry. 

“sukuna. i can’t…take your pants off for you. just try harder.” 

“just fucking help me.” 

you shake off the nervousness, as you bend down on your knees, trying to squint through the dark light to find the button. except before you can fully do it, sukuna reaches for your biceps and somewhat harshly pulls you up. 

“wh-” 

you look up to find him swallowing hard, before he talks. 

“it’s like you’re trying to make this difficult for me. don’t get on your fucking knees to do it.” sukuna responds. 

“how else am i supposed to see it?” 

sukuna doesn’t respond, as you shake your head and feel down the length of his pants, before you find the button. and surely enough, it’s hard to push but you get it after a second try, and turn around as sukuna switches the pants he’s wearing. 

and you almost make your sweet escape before he tangles his fingers around your wrist and pulls back. his fingers are fast on your waist as he turns you around, somewhat toppling your balance so you’re leaning against his chest – and stuck in his embrace. 

“stay.” he whispers.  

“you are so fucking drunk, sukuna.” 

“stay, please. i don’t want to sleep without you.” 

you shake your head. 

“my hoodie is wet. i have to change.” 

sukuna shakes his head. 

“are you wearing anything underneath? you know i wouldn’t mind either way.” sukuna whispers. 

“a tank top, but really. i have to go back to –” 

sukuna’s fingers are fast – since he apparently has enough coordination to help you with this – as he pulls it over your head, before setting his hands back around your waist. the way he’s looking down at you, eyes wide, makes you shiver as he leans forward, and presses his fingers against your collarbone. 

“you have a tattoo.” sukuna whispers. 

you laugh. 

“so do you.” 

and it makes your skin shiver, when sukuna snakes his hands underneath your shirt, leaning forward to press his lips against the inked skin on your shoulder, unable to contain your surprise. the tufts of his hair tickle your neck as you lean back, placing your hands on the sides of his face. 

“you’re drunk.” 

sukuna pauses. 

“is that the only reason you’re saying no?” 

you shake your head. 

“go to bed. you don’t even know what you’re fuckking saying right now.” 

“just stay with me.” 

sukuna releases his grasp, instead reaching for both of your hands and squeezing at your fingers. 

“please. don’t leave me alone.” 

“okay, okay. let’s just go sleep. we’ll talk in the morning.” 

--

you wake up to the most haunting sight known to man – sukuna hovering over you. 

“jesus fuck.” 

sukuna laughs as you press your palms into the sockets of your eyes, pushing as hard as can as you very quickly remember the events of last night – of the shivering feeling of sukuna’s lips on your neck and the horribly embarrassing moan you let out when he did. 

“oh god.” 

you open your eyes to find sukuna still hovering – an almost too excited grin painted on his face – his silver necklace hanging in the air.

“give me permission this time.” sukuna states. 

you widen your eyes. 

“i beg your pardon?” 

sukuna snakes one of his fingers under your waist, using the other to trace the outline of your tattoo again, as he leans closer to you, the distance dangerously close considering the events of last night. 

“give me permission.” sukuna asks. 

“you…” 

sukuna rolls his eyes, before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“if it wasn’t clear, i think about you very often. irritatingly enough, i’m actually very fond of you. so much so, that i turned down that fucking barista from the coffee shop last night and went to that fucking party by myself..” 

“marie?” 

“is that her name?” sukuna asks. 

you bite down on your cheek. 

“i also gave someone a beating for you and got suspended from playing for two weeks, so just give me fucking permission now.” 

“you got what?” 

sukuna leans down, resting his chin against your bicep, as he eyes you again, before pressing a kiss to the skin. 

“give me permission.” 

“you’ve already kissed me twice.” 

sukuna shakes his head. 

“cmon. i need to hear it.” 

you shake your head, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that your heart is pounding in your chest as you look down at him, brown eyes peering into yours 

“um. okay? ….yes. or yeah, whatever, i –” 

all you hear is an excited chuckle before his lips are against yours, hands almost rough around your neck as he pulls you up, till your straddling him in his lap, hands secured around his neck. and you can tell that he’s enjoying himself far too much – from the way he smiles into the kiss, before pressing three, four, and five kisses to your cheek. 

you fight the urge to smile at him fully as you lean forward, cupping his face in your hands and eyeing the cut across the bridge of his nose. 

“have i repaid your kindness yet?” you murmur. 

sukuna pauses, before leaning in. 

“no, i think i need a little bit more.”

--

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[bunny-jpeg]

i only got eyes for you

col. alejandro vargas

cw: smut/pwp, protective!alejandro (borderline possessive), body worship, tender sex, missionary position

bunny says: like the fic? leave a comment! really like the fic? suggest your own. i'm always opened to new ideas <3

"do i scare you, dove?" he asked as he hand trailed up your thigh, pushing up the rather short skirt you wore. his dark eyes met yours as he smiled, "i've done a lot of bad things for the sake of safety."

you sat down in his lap and cupped his face tenderly, there was a small buzz in your head from the feeling of your lover's broad hand on your thigh. you leaned in close to him and replied, "alejandro. you're a good man, you could never convince me otherwise. i'm not scared of you."

he reached for your hair and combed his fingers through it, "good." he smiled then pulled you gently to his lips.

-

you knew that alejandro was a good man. he was protective in a way that some would view as alarming. at times it put him at odds with himself, was he keeping you trapped like a bird?

but if something happened to you.

the idea of losing you had him double checking the locks before bed. he left extra kisses on your neck before he left for missions. and always came home with flowers.

you met him by chance, you were in university in the city he was stationed at. you just thought he was a charming man, until you found his id in his wallet the next morning. you had slept with a special operative. he caught you with his wallet in your hand, for a moment you thought that he was going to pull out some fighting moves and knock you out... or worse.

"i guess you found my little secret. i lied about my name. it's not eliseo." he shrugged, "can't be going around and giving away my identity, even to pretty girls." he closed the gap between you two, he held onto your chin and looked at you, "but i am curious how alejandro sounds on your tongue."

i mean what were you supposed to do, not invite him for breakfast. after that it felt like your two lives sort of melded together. he came home from long grueling missions and would just lie on top of you. he wanted to make sure that his woman was safe till his return.

"no one else touched you, right?" he asked lowly as his hands ran up and down your arms.

you squirmed occasionally in his touch and replied, "not a soul. i'd never want anyone else alejandro. i thought about you every day." then you started to slowly kiss him.

he made a soft noise against you as his calloused hands roamed up the front of your sleeping shirt. you're the one he came home too, the woman he'd go through hell for.

and what a beautiful woman you were. it was why he worried so much about other men getting their hands on you. you were his slice of heaven and would bend the earth to make sure that you stayed that way.

call him possessive, but to lose someone so precious would turn him into a man who could not be contained by any means. so as his hands trailed your stomach, his heated gaze on you, you felt under his control.

"alejandro." you said softly.

he kissed you once more and toyed with your breast under your shirt. he heard you soft noise in your kiss then pulled away and looked down at you, "yes, my dove." both hands were still under your shirt, he was touching you gently.

"did you miss me?" you pouted.

he smiled softly and kissed you on the forehead, "every second we were apart it felt like hours." he slowly pulled the shirt over your head and exposed your breasts to him.

he kissed you once more as he started to work on his pants, which he kicked to the bottom of the bed, his hands then hooked into the waistband of your sweatpants before they were off too. in a tussle on the bed, you were both stripped on your clothes.

alejandro's cock was quite impressive. he chuckled and told you he was just "average" but you were certain that "average" didn't feel like it was in the back of your throat every time he fucked you.

he gazed down at you, "you'd tell me if anyone tried to touch you, right?" he leaned in once more, your noses almost touching. his energy was almost intimidating, it made you stomach twist in a good way.

he was feared, that was certain. he didn't get to where he was by being a pacifist. if he got his hands dirty, even for a good cause, it meant others got to stay clean. simple as that.

you both laid in bed together, where he kissed along your heated skin. he kissed along the hills and valleys of your body. the plushness under his hands as he held your hips. a goddess. a symbol of the divine feminine. the thought made him smile as he slowly kissed your breasts. he could almost feel your heartbeat.

"nothing will ever hurt you, my dove." he said softly as he gazed at you briefly before he pressed more kisses. he worshiped your body in ways that made his cock twitch.

that was why he found himself to be on the possessive side when it came to you. your name, location and other information was under a tight lock and key.

he pressed his head up against your stomach and held your hips for a moment. he exhaled deeply, "never leave me." he said out loud, but internally said, or i will have to find you.

sometimes it slipped out, the obsessive need to know that he'd never be without you. while you never noticed the intensity of what he was saying, it simply meant he could continue to pile on the security to keep his dove safe.

you ran your fingers through his dark hair and said, "alejandro. i would never, i love you too much." you watched him look up at you once more and take your hand off his hand to kiss it.

"then be good and let me take care of you." he let go and pulled away from you. he got between your legs, his cock at full attention. he rubbed it gently against the entrance of your slit. the wetness made a shiver run through him.

you reached out for him, but ended up with your hands buried in the covers. you loved him deeply, even if he could be off-putting. you labelled him as protective, even if your friends thought he was a little possessive. like who needed to check on the cameras in the house if it was just you there? but you shrugged it off, he just wanted you safe. what was wrong with that?

"are you ready, my dove." he said softly. your pussy was enticing to him, the feeling of your heat around his cock was like muscle memory, baked into his core.

you nodded, "i'm always ready for you."

he smirked. so eager, so soft and gentle. of course you fell for a man like him, you needed someone to protect you. keep you safe against a world that would take you limb from you. he leaned forward as pushed his cock deep inside of you with ease.

he chest was pressed against yours as he put his weight on you. kept you pinned down to the bed as he fucked your cunt. the sounds of your love making filled the room. your noises sounded angelic to him.

a paradise for his pleasure, the most beautiful woman in the world letting him rut his cock into you. he dug his nose into your hair as he held your hips. he moved against you, he could feel the racing of your heart.

he chuckled, "good girl. my good girl." as his grip tightened a little more. he continued to thrust into you, your bodies moved together in a rhythm that made both of you hot all over.

the kissing became sloppier as you felt your head begin to feel dizzy. despite the rush of hormones in your body, it still felt hazy as you partner held you tightly and fucked into your tight head.

he gave you soft words of praise as he grew hotter all over. his angel. there was no other woman like you, he just thought you were simply perfect. and nothing could ever convince him otherwise. he held onto your hips and thrusted up into you.

you wrapped your legs around him tightly as you moved up and down the bed. your cheeks felt flushed, pleasure was taking over. your hands soon roamed his back as you felt the strength of him.

"mine." he simply said. then went into for another searing kiss. the electricity between you two felt hot. there was a flame in your belly as you tried to meet his pace. he simply said close to you, "stay still, my dove. be good for me."

his voice sounded darker, laced with heavy pleasure as he began to pick up the pace. he watched your expression change the deeper you fell into lust.

you moaned out loud as you felt the rush through your body. with a few more heavy thrusts of his hips, you dug your nails into his back and tightened around him. your buried your head in his shoulder and climaxed.

he held onto you as tightly as he could and fucked you. it was good proper fucking as you started to fall from your orgasmic high. he kept a good grip on you as he finished inside of you.

"alejandro!" you whimpered as you felt the pace slow down.

he slowed to a still then let go of his tight grip on your body. he kept his eyes on your blissed out expression as he pulled out and laid next to you on the bed. he reached for your face and pulled you in for another kiss.

"good girl." he purred before he settled himself beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he kept you close as he came down from his own high, his cock still soaked in your wetness.

he kissed you a few more times before he simply gazed at you with warmth in his chest. you were his girl and nothing could ever break you two apart. he simply wouldn't let it happen.

and he'd make sure you never forget who your man was. the good, proper man he was. <3

[chahnniesroom]

welcome to chahnniesroom!

[masterlist]

tenderness - chan x reader | angst | 50k

in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don't know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

some loves - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 6.9k

some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

hoju (home) - chan x reader | fluff | 4.3k

even though chan has been living in korea for so many years, he still considers australia to be home. when he finally has the opportunity to go back and visit, he can't wait to bring you along and introduce you to the people and places that he grew up with.

cross my heart - chan & reader / hyunjin & reader | angst | 4.0k

chan has quickly become one of your closest friends at university. too bad his girlfriend, hayoon, has him wrapped around her little finger and she's determined to make your life miserable. hyunjin is just enjoying watching the drama unfold.

night again - chan x reader | angst | 6.4k

in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

coming up roses - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 10.2k

most of the time, you're grateful to have such a good relationship with your older brother, minho. but when you find yourself falling for his best friend, chan, you can't help but be worried how he'll react when he finds out. you soon find yourself struggling with the unexpected consequences of keeping your feelings a secret.

till death do us part (collection)

to have and to hold - chan x reader | fluff | 1.4k you don't think there's anything chan can do to make you love him more. chan continues to prove you wrong.

from this day forward - hyunjin x reader | fluff | 1.7k hyunjin and you have a tradition of trying to surprise each other with little things. he's a bad liar, but you love him all the same.

for better, for worse pt 1 / pt 2 - minho x reader | angst | 3.5k an arranged marriage is anything but ideal. minho knows that when it comes to his role as a husband, he's lacking, but you haven't exactly been the perfect wife either. a phone call from you leads to a shift in priorities.

for richer, for poorer - chan x reader | angst/fluff | 3.4k

gift giving has always been something you’ve agonised over. for chan, just having you in his life is enough.

in sickness and in health - seungmin x reader | fluff | 2.1k you're the most important thing in seungmin's life, of course his biggest fear would be losing you. it means that taking care of you when you're not feeling well comes naturally.

to love and to cherish

[tba]

taglist: please reply to this post, dm me, or send in a question if you'd like to be added! i have a permanent taglist and one for the till death do us part collection so please specify which you would like. i plan to schedule my posts so there may be a few hours of delay for when everyone is tagged.

also, i am so sorry if i respond late to comments/messages. i try my best to be timely in replying, but sometimes get overwhelmed or forget. please know that i love and really treasure every like/reblog/comment/ask/message that i receive!!!

i have a skz fic rec sideblog! find me at @missedyoualittletoomuch

[local-lamppost]

Act 3 Thoughts

Watched Wicked, came home, waited 20 minutes, binged Act 3. I do not recommend this lifestyle. Anyway...

I was so satisfied with where we ended up, but I would have also appreciated about 20 minutes to an hour more. It felt like some beats were skipped over, they wanted to get to specific endings and didn't have the time to wrap them up as neatly as I would've liked.

Maddie is a good example. She's a plant for Ambessa, okay but when and why did she become one? She couldn't have been one before Cait being named commander and when we next see her she's pushing for Cait to take power back from Ambessa. Did Ambessa just message her right after Cait and Vi started working together again as like a "the woman you love's actual love is back in the picture, you can either wallow or get revenge with me", but also made a smarmy remark about Cait 'at least being warm' or something. We didn't need to absolve Cait or villainize Maddie for their 'relationship' because they didn't even have a relationship-just a coping mechanism for Cait, similar to Vi's drinking. At best it was all unnecessary and at worst a waste of time.

Away from that, I want to focus on some good.

I am officially a JayVik shipper now. Them disappearing into a void together, encircled with each other, after Viktor spend however long within timelines/multiverses in hopes of finding a Jayce able to bring him back to his humanity? Come on, they needed to kiss. Especially after Jayce and Mel's low key break up. Honestly we were denied the three of them working together, because they would have been unstoppable.

Speaking of Mel, I love her. I love her design, her powers, her matricide, her taking command of Ambessa's armies, etc. I wish we could have seen more of her adapting to her new powers, finding peace with what she now is. There could have been a cool interaction with Viktor over how Arcane power has changed them both for better and worse.

I don't think Mel's story is done. With other characters, I can see them coming in for future story arcs as like, cameos or background details, but if the next LoL story is in Noxus I fully expect Mel to be a major player again.

Back to Jayce. I like Jayce, that could be my Arcane hot take, and I definitely want to write something more in depth on him. On all the characters really. For now, I'll just say that his determination to destroy everything he has built, because the only creation worth saving is his relationship with Viktor is just... glorious.

Viktor was amazing. I love Viktor in the lore, and they took his traits from the lore and amped them up to eleven. His body being destroyed and rebuilt, the process of which has chipped away his humanity and mutilated his dreams. He lives up to his own quote: "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right."

Ekko is a character I never realize I miss. That sounds mean, it probably is, but I am never the less so happy to see him every time. It's like finding the missing piece you didn't even know was lost: that is Ekko to me. His mini adventure in the parallel universe was adorable. Us getting to see what could've been alongside learning what matters most to Ekko, him getting a taste of a near perfect life and still choosing to return to his own time. That's why Ekko is the true hero of this story.

In terms of Jinx, I'll just say I'm not a hundred percent sure she's dead. The airship leaving at the end followed by her scribbled sign off, plus not getting a dead body shot. It was definitely left open ended. Her looking to do something good, to not mess up, alongside her fear of not wanting to try again because she is just tired of failure, of being a Jinx, was too real in many ways. I will go in depth on her at a later date.

Caitlyn's arc is going to be argued about, no question. It needed more time (see the start of this long post) to make her point of her anger burning away, of it not being sustainable, hit harder. I would have made her realize what her anger was doing to Vi, have Jinx point out that they really are acting the same in their treatment of Vi, and use the whole Ambessa was literally stoking the fires of her hatred to help fit what time they had left. Honestly just have Cait learn Ambessa was the one behind the memorial attack, that would be a much better way to explain her anger diminishing enough to look beyond her own hurt to realize and take account of her mistakes.

Vi, as usual, needed more screen time. Not necessarily because her story would've been helped by it like in act two, but just because I wanted her to have more time to enjoy her life. I went into act three with the sole hope that Vi would have a nice day, only for her to loose everything again. The only people she has left are Cait and Ekko, and god help anyone who tries something against those too now. Her ending being the chance to finally rest, to lean on someone else, was beautiful. She is my favorite character and please let her have only good things in the future, she was traumatized in almost every scene this season please-

Nobody tell Vi that in a universe where she died young everyone else ended up living. It would destroy her.

Vi and Cait relationship was great. I wouldn't say it was rushed in act three, because it felt like it was where it should be for a final batch of episodes, if that makes sense. It felt like the set up was Cait being genuinely remorseful and Vi just wanting someone in her life who wanted her in return. It helps that they have great chemistry and that when given the chance they fit so neatly together. I think Jinx encouraging Vi to be with Cait is what sold it to me. Jinx realizing how much Vi has given/sacrificed and giving her blessing for her sister to be happy with someone she disapproves of; not to mention Cait pulling the guards from their posts to give Vi the chance to actually meet Jinx in order to have that conversation. All in all, it comes down to Vi's "I don't care" because that's really all there is too it for them. Vi is done being miserable and Cait makes her happy, vice versa. Cait is someone Vi can rely on, Vi is someone Cait can find strength in.

Spitfire round:

Sevika being made a councilor

Every single one of Mel, Cait, and Jayce's designs were 10/10s

Vi not being given an actual uniform, just armor and the gloves

Jinx cutting her hair further to match Vi

Ekko getting his crystal sword/bats

Heimerdinger dying after living a life where he could make his city something to be proud of

I was fully expecting Vander and Silco to kiss in that one shot

Everything with Benzo

Loris' name being said

Vi humming the song and the song being their mother's lullaby

Viktor being held within the Herald

Sky leaving so Viktor was free to bring Jayce to his space mind palace

Caitlyn's rifle never surviving

Fishman McBlue being the only one of Cait's soldiers to stick to his guns and stay loyal

Sevika and Shoola side eyeing each other

Vander and little Vi and Powder with the bunny

The bunny being a passenger on Jinx's balloon

Singed's messed up family getting a happy ending

[xclowniex]

Why does someone spray-painting the wall/floor in a university in New Zealand bothers you more than Israel literally bombing every single university in Gaza?

I'm going to teach you a little lesson about how brains work.

Let's say there are 2 bad things happening.

If you look at them objectively from an outside perspective, you can see which one is worse. Objectively more Palestinians have died and that is worse.

But when one of those bad things has a chance of hurting you, whilst you still obviously recognize that the other thing is worse, your brain also suddenly focuses on the thing which affects your safety. It's called survival instinct.

I'm not sure if you know, as I do mention it semi frequently, but I live in New Zealand. Whilst I do not live in Dunedin, the country isn't that big. Whilst there is still a big different to those who live in Southland (southern most region of the south island) and Northland (northern most region of the north island) (creative names ikr), there are still similarities. And there is going to be more when all the SJP chapters across the whole country talk to each other frequently.

So maybe, just maybe, through experiences I've detailed here about experiencing antisemitism from pro Palestine folk irl, who are strangers and do not know my political opinion and just see I'm Jewish, and seeing shit ramp up with protests, I am worried about my safety.

And maybe just maybe, whilst both bother me, one currently is more important to my life as I could be harmed.

Also, I don't put every single thought on tumblr, so you have no real discernable way to know which bothers me more.

You're not going to make me feel guilty for caring about my safety, it just makes you antisemitic

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[betterthanburrow]

New Year’s Eve Reunion - Joe Burrow

Summary: As the end of the year is approaching, an email from an old friend from Athens High School has you considering to go back to the city that you haven’t had a reason to visit in over 8 years… but going back to the place you used to call home means being reunited with the boy who had been searching for the answer as to why you mysteriously left the city after your high school graduation without saying goodbye.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

There was no feeling that could compare to how you feel walking around the city you used to call home… The city that welcomed you with open arms when you were the new girl from out of state. The city where some of the best people and worse people that you’ve ever known lived that shaped you into the person that you are today. The city that changed you in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

It’s been almost 10 years since you’ve been in Athens, Ohio. It was a beautiful city that you had lived in after your mom married your step-mom right during the summer before High School… but there was never any reason for you to return back to the city of Athens after your mom had divorced your step-mom right after you moved out of the house to go to Stanford University.

After moving out of Athens, Ohio you had never thought there would be any reason for you to return… There was no family for you to come back to visit, or amazing job opportunity that you couldn’t pass up, and you had assumed that you didn’t have any best friends from high school that you would ever visit.

Which is why at the beginning of December, as you were working from home in your New York City Apartment… While checking your work emails on your computer, an old email account that you hadn’t seen in years showed up at the top of the screen with an interesting Subject Title.

To: yourfirstname.yourlastname@gmail.com

From: DakotaJohnson740@gmail.com

Subject: New Year’s Eve Reunion!

Hi Y/N! It’s Dakota Johnson from Athens High School.

I hope that you remember me, we had multiple classes through High School and became close friends from freshman year until the end of senior year. Unfortunately we never stayed in touch after our graduation but every once in a while for the past few years, you cross my mind and I always what you have been up too. The only thing that I know about you is that you left Athens to go to Stanford University and never came back home.

Hopefully you don’t find it to strange that I emailed you but I wouldn’t have any other way to send a message to you because I don’t have social media… and I found your email account from searching through thousands of old emails just to find your email address.

The reason why I’m messaging you is because I am planning a New Year’s Eve Reunion with a bunch of our old friends from Athens High School and I was wondering if there’s is any chance that you could come to the get-together?! … Over the past few years, many of our old friends and I have made plans with each other to spend time in Athens just like in High School but, there was always someone missing during those get-together plans and that person is you.

Please respond back to my email as soon as possible if you’re interested in coming to Athens for the New Year’s eve Reunion… So many of our old friends would love to see you again Autumn Reynolds, Eleanor Coleman, Charles Wood, and Joe Burrow because they miss you just as much as I miss you.

Sincerely,

Dakota Johnson.

You read the email that Dakota Johnson has sent to you multiple times, to make sure that it was a real email and not something that you were imagining in your head… It had been years since you’ve heard anything from any one of your old friends from Athens. You had assumed that they all forgot about the new girl in freshman year after you moved away from the city.

It made you emotional to think about how your old friends missed you… and for the first time ever, you hated yourself for never keeping contact with any of your old friends back in Athens.

You didn’t know much about what Dakota Johnson, Autumn Reynolds, Eleanor Coleman, Charles Wood were doing with their lives after graduating High School… but you did know what Joe Burrow has been doing the past couple of years, not because you’re a creepy stalker that keeps up with the boy you had a crush on from freshman year to senior year, but because his name is known across America.

The shy boy from your science class in freshman year has become one of the greatest Quarterbacks in the NFL right now… you have never been a fan of football; but the Cincinnati Bengals are the football team you’ll always root for to win, even if they’re against a NFL Team from New York.

You told yourself that after you finished your work for the day, that you would respond to the email from Dakota Johnson… but maybe that was a bad idea because for the rest of your work day, your mind was distracted by the email to the point where every couple of minutes you had to go back and check that the email was real.

Even after your work day was officially over, you still were sat at your desk staring at your computer screen that had a blank email page opened… not because you didn’t want to go back to Athens, but because you didn’t know what to say to your old friend.

What do you say to someone that you haven’t spoke to since High School Graduation?! You had assumed that all your old friends had forgotten about you, it was kinda hard for you to believe that they still think about you and miss you after being apart all of these years.

To: DakotaJohnson740@gmail.com

From: yourfirstname.yourlastname@gmail.com

Subject: New Year’s Eve Reunion

Hi Dakota Johnson!

Of course I remember you! how could I ever forget about the first friend that I made in the homeroom class during our freshman year of high school and stayed by my side all throughout high school!

I apologize for not staying in touch with you and our other friends after our high school graduation and I’m sorry for never visiting Athens, for the longest time I had just assumed that everyone that did know me at some point had just forgotten about my existence…

With that being said; I would love to come to the New Year’s Eve Reunion in Athens! I live in New York City now but, I’ve experienced the way that New Yorkers ring in the New Year so it’ll be nice to celebrate the New Year with old friends.

my phone number is (929) 101-0009 so you can message me all of the details about the New Year’s Eve Reunion!

i’m looking forwards to seeing you and all of our old friends in Athens for the first time in almost 10 years! There aren’t enough words for me to describe how excited i am for the NYE Reunion!

Sincerely,

YourFirstName YourLastName

For many weeks since you sent the email back to Dakota Johnson, the two of you had been messaging back and forth catching up on each other lives’ on what has been going on the past 8 years.

Other than Joe Burrow’s life, which was changing in front of everyone’s eyes, you didn’t realize how much your other old friends’ lives had changed since you left Athens… Autumn and Charles had gotten together during their freshman year of University and are planning on getting married next Summer, Eleanor had moved out of Ohio after college to California to work as a background dancer for music artists, and Dakota recently earned their Master of Science in Nursing and works at one of the best hospitals in Ohio.

You had told Dakota that after you graduated from Stanford University with your Master’s Degree in Creative Writing and Literature that you moved to New Yorks and are currently working on your first book that will be published next year in the Fall.

December felt like the slowest month of your life, you loved living in New York but you’ve never been so excited to get out of the state and go back to Ohio… You weren’t counting down to Christmas, you were counting down to your flight to Ohio.

As the days of December slowly went by, Christmas was here and you celebrated the Holiday in your apartment by yourself with a glass of red wine and watching all of your favorite classic Christmas movie.

But finally; it was the day before the New Year, it was the day before the New Year’s Eve Reunion, it was the day that you’ll be in Athens for the first time in 8 years… Dakota had offered to pick you up from the airport in Cincinnati so that you wouldn’t be lost in Ohio, which was such a thoughtful gesture from them.

You didn’t realize how emotional you would be returning to the state that you once called home until you heard your name being called by a voice you recognized after all of these years.

“Y/N! I’M OVER HERE!” the voice yelled over the loud noises throughout the airport. You turn your head looking around after you had grabbed your luggage and saw someone waving their hands in the air.

You’re searching for them through the crowd and when you see your old friend for the first time in almost 10 years… The tears from your eyes start to fall, and you don’t waste anymore time to run towards them and pull them into the tightest hug. You could just about imagine how emotional your reunion with your other old friends from Athens will be tomorrow after not seeing them since high school graduation.

“It’s so good to see you again after all of these years.” Dakota whispers. “I missed you so much.”

“I miss you too…” you say with your voice cracking.

“You’re never allowed to spend eight years away from Athens ever again!” Dakota says, causing you to laugh.

“I won’t spend 8 years away from Ohio ever again.” you promised.

After the reunion at the airport, the two of you walked to the front parking lot entrance where Dakota had parked their car and helped you put your luggage suitcases in their car... and it was finally time to start the drive from the airport in Cincinnati to Athens.

Dakota lives in an apartment in Cincinnati where the reunion will be hosted… but the two of you had planned to spend the day in Athens since it’s been 8 years since you’ve visited the beautiful city.

You were scared that things would’ve been awkward between the two of you, it had been so long since you’ve seen them in person… but the two of you conversed with each other as if you hadn’t been apart from each other for the past 8 years.

From talking about old high school gossip to singing along to the old cds’ in Dakota’s car that he had since high school… This is the happiest that you’ve felt all year after being feeling stuck in New York City.

It almost made you feel guilty that you left Athens, but you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to achieve your dreams if you just stayed in the small city in Ohio.

But, you should’ve kept in contact with your old friends… that was a mistake you made that you can’t go back in time to undo, maybe keeping in contact with your old friends would’ve give you a reason to come back to Athens or move back to the place you used to call home.

You were thankful that Dakota let you stay with them in his apartment, where the New Year’s eve Reunion would be hosted along with the rooftop of the apartment complex… but you had to promise them that you would help them decorate the apartment.

After arriving in Athens, Dakota took you all around the city to some of your old favorite places that you couldn’t believe that you had forgotten about… You never would’ve thought that after all those years away, that you would feel like you were home again.

The two of you were sat inside D.P Dough’s restaurant, it was busier than you expected it to be since it was the day before New Year’s Eve and you assumed that most people in Athens would’ve been out of town… You were so hungry after the long morning with the flight, that you didn’t wait a second longer to eat after ordering your food.

“So… Can I ask you question?” you say, after taking a sip of your drink and crossing your arms on the table.

“You just asked me a question.” Dakota sarcastically replied.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled before speaking again, “Who knows that I’m in Athens for the New Year’s Eve Reunion?!”

“Everyone that is invited knows.” Dakota answers, “I know we really only talked about our old mutuals friends these past few weeks… but other people from Athens High School are coming to the reunion too.”

“Oh really?!” you asked, you had just assumed this was a small get-together and not a small party.

“Yeah! Daniel says. “There’s like 30 of our old classmates coming to the New Year’s Eve Reunion!”

You respond, “It’s going to be so weird seeing everyone again after so long.”

“You’re not alone feeling that way.” Dakota states, which causing you to raise an eyebrow at them. “Other than Autumn and Charles who still live in Athens, I hadn’t seen much of anyone from Athens these past few years… The only time I see our old friends is when they come home to visit, so that’s why I wanted to plan this reunion because I know it’s been a long time since most people had seen each other.”

You nodded along to what they said, but didn’t have the courage to respond immediately… because while your old friends had came back to Athens after moving away from the city, you left and never came back.

“Thank you for going out of your way to reach out to me.” you say. “Honestly, I didn’t think anyone from Athens remembered me… so it really did surprise me to see that email from you inviting me to the reunion.”

“Trust me, no one in Athens has forgotten about you.” Dakota assured, “It was actually Joe that had asked me to try and reach out to you whenever I started planning the New Year’s Eve Reunion.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement... Out of all the people from Athens you didn’t expect Joe Burrow to remember you and be the reason why Dakota had tried to reach out to you.

“Joe asked you to reach out to me?” you asked.

“Yeah… it’s that hard to believe?” They asked and you shrugged your shoulders. “Why is it hard to believe?”

“Because you know who Joe is now right?!” you exclaim. “He’s a quarterback in the NFL, I didn’t think that he would have time to remember some random girl that he used to know from Athens.”

“The Joe you remember from High School is the same Joe now… even with all his success and fame, he’s still the same Joe.” Dakota states. “And he’s had a lot of time to think since he’s not playing football right now.”

“He’s not playing football right now… Why?!” you curiously asked. You didn’t keep up with any sports news so you were surprised to hear this news.

“Joe injured his wrist over a month ago during a game, he’s out for the rest of the season.” Dakota responds. “So he’s had a lot of time to think about other things than football these past few weeks… and I guess you crossed his mind more than once.”

“That’s interesting to know.” you say under your breathe. “Out of all the people from Athens, I didn’t expect him to be the one to want to reach out to me.”

“He’s talked about you a lot throughout these past few months, even before I had emailed you.” Dakota says. “I don’t know why he’s been thinking so much about the people from Athens, but he was the one to give me the idea of hosting this New Year’s Eve Reunion.”

You chuckle, “Maybe it’s because of the new contract he signed with The Bengals… I heard about how he’s going to earn a lot of money over the next few years.”

“Yeah, he will be earning a lot of money but he deserves it after everything he’s been through over the past few years.” Dakota responds, “But even after all that he’s been through, he’s still the same Joe.”

“That’s good to hear… he didn’t let fame go straight to his head unlike some other football players.” you say.

“Same old Joe, just richer with a worse sense of style.” Dakota says which causes the two of you to laugh.

The two of you spend the rest of your time at D.P Dough eating the rest of the delicious food that you order as well as continuing to gossip about old friends… You thought you would’ve been more nervous to see people that you haven’t seen in 8 years again, but you couldn’t be more excited because of how much everyone’s lives have changed.

There was so much that you and Dakota would have to do to prepare for the reunion at his apartment tomorrow, including going last minute shopping for New Year’s Eve decorations and order enough catering to last throughout the entire night.

But just for right now, you were happier than you expected to be in Athens for the first time in 8 years… For the first time in years, you wouldn’t be spending New Year’s Eve by yourself in your apartment in New York, instead you will be home with your old friends.

—

Tonight will be a night that you’ll remember forever… As the clock is ticking closer to midnight and the countdown to the New Year begins, you couldn’t imagine celebrating the end of 2023 in any other way.

The apartment was decorated in Black, Silver, and Gold decorations from Party City that the two of you had picked up yesterday afternoon… You and Dakota had spent all morning decorating their apartment and getting everything prepared for when all of your old friends would arrive at the reunion.

As you finished setting up all the dishes of food that the two of you ordered from one of the most popular restaurants in Cincinnati, BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse, the kitchen counter and kitchen table… you watched as Dakota went through their check-list for the twentieth time in the past 30 minutes.

Dakota walked around the apartment, checking items off their list as they mumbled under their breathe. “We have the balloons set up over there and the banner set up as well as the the bucket of decorations for the photo booth…”

“Dakota, I think everything is ready!” you exclaim, interrupting them. “Everything is perfect, just the way that you planned!”

“Are you sure?” Dakota asked, “Or is it all just a bit too much to celebrate the New Year?!”

“No Dakota, it’s perfect!” you exclaim. “This will definitely be the best New Year’s Eve Reunion ever!”

They wanted this New Year’s Eve Reunion to be perfect. It was the first time in so long that many of their close friendds from Athens High School would be getting together since High School Graduation.

After convincing Dakota that everything for the New Year’s Eve Reunion was perfect, they explained to you that they told everyone to arrive at his apartment around 4pm… Which had you a little confused on why people would be arriving at the apartment so early?!

“It’s because of the football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cincinnati Bengals. This is one of the most important games of the year because of the rivalry between the two teams for the past two years, everyone will be watching this game.” Dakota explains.

“Oh okay… but you said Joe was injured, so he’s not going to the football game?!” you asked.

“The football game is in Kansas City, and he’s been traveling with the football team to games even though he’s not playing on the field.” Dakota says.

“Joe is still going to be at the New Year’s Eve Reunion or will he not be able to make it because he’ll be stuck in Kansas City?!” you ask.

“If luck is on our side… Joe will be here before midnight.” Dakota answers. “I talked to him this morning and he’s going to do anything he can to make it here after the game.”

“That’s good to know, I’m excited to see him.” you say.

A cheeky smile appears on Dakota’s face, “Oh I know… and I promise that he’s excited to see you too!”

The time was going by fast and before you realized how fast the time was going by… The guests had finally started to arrive at Dakota’s apartment right before the football game between Kansas City vs Cincinnati.

This was Dakota’s New Year’s Eve Reunion that they had been planning for weeks, and you tried your hardest to remember that as guests walked through the door… You didn’t want to make this all just about you reuniting with your old friends that you hadn’t seen since High School Graduation, because most of these people were just seeing each for the first time in a long time as well. It was a reunion for everyone.

It was an emotional reunion seeing your old friends from Athens just like you had expected it to be. You didn’t realize how much you missed your old friends until now, and it made you feel guilty again for leaving Athens and not caring to continue communications.

Everyone had changed, everyone was all grown up. You don’t understand how you never realized that there had been so much change between those 8 years that you were gone from Athens… but while things changed, the love your old friends have for you never changed.

Even your old classmates that you weren’t really close to during High School but were still apart of the mutual friend group were excited to see you… Just like when you had moved to Athens when you were 14 years old, everyone had welcomed you with opens arms.

You learned so much about your old friends’ new lives since High School Graduation, it’s crazy to think that the old friends you used to sit next to at lunch and partner up with for projects are living their dreams.

The celebrations of the night began once the football game started, Dakota popped a bottle of champagne and filled everyone’s glasses to the top right at kick-off.

Some people were watching the game in the living room, while other people were in the kitchen but still paying attention every now and then. You assume that most people are huge fans of the Cincinnati Bengals or were just cheering for the team because of Joe… even though he was playing because every now and then the camera would pan over to Joe and show his reaction to whatever was happening in the game.

This was the first time you had seen Joe in a long time, there was so much about him that was different but at the same time he still looked like the young boy that you had a crush on during High School.

“Are you excited to see Joe later?” Eleanor asked as she sits right next to you on the sofa with a paper plate of food in her lap. “I haven’t seen Joe in over a year, I think the last time I saw him was when the Bengals played in the Super Bowl at Sofa Stadium… He invited me to the football game since I live in California.”

“I’m excited to see him.” you answer, “I haven’t seen him since our High School Graduation.”

“It’s been that long since you’ve seen Joe?!” Autumn asked, interrupting the conversation.

You nod your head, “Yeah… it’s been 8 long years.”

“I’m kinda surprised Joe never went to try and find you just because of how much he talks about you when we hang out.” Autumn stated, which causes you to raise an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know if Dakota told you, but Joe is the reason why they reached out to you.”

“Dakota told me, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.” you say. “Joe talks about me that much to where you thought he was going to try and find me in New York?”

“He talks about you in a ‘the girl that got away’ way” Charles answers. “Did something happen between the two of you in high school that we don’t know about.”

You shake your head, “No… Nothing happened between us. We were always just friends from freshman year to senior year.”

“And then you left Athens after graduation.” Eleanor says and you nod your head, because you couldn’t lie.

The conversation stopped as everyone went back to paying attention to the football game on TV, cheering when the Bengals team did something good and yelling at the team through the TV when they were not doing a good job as people expected from them.

For the past few weeks, you always had been the most excited to see Joe out of everyone that you knew would be coming to the reunion just because Joe and you were always close since freshman year of High School… and you feel the most guilty about never continuing to communicate with him after graduation not because of the fame and success he has now but because he was the definition of a true friend.

You’re not stupid, you realize that Joe must’ve said some things to your old friends over the past few years since you’ve been gone that has sparked curiosity into their minds that something had happened between the two of you during high school… but as far as you remember, nothing had ever happened.

But maybe that’s the reason why Joe talked about in the “girl that got away” way to your old friends, maybe because nothing had happened between the two of you is the reason why you’re still on his mind after all of these years… No matter how many girls he had been rumored to be hooking up with or dating and the many instagram models that slide into his Instagram Direct Messages with a terribly sexual pick-up line, the girl that he knew from Athens is the only girl on his mind.

It was hard for you to sit and watch the football game with all of these thoughts running through your mind. Once the game went to halftime, you got up from your spot next to Eleanor on the couch and used the excuse of “needing a drink refill” to go over to the kitchen.

You walked into the kitchen to see Dakota and a few other of your old classmates from Athens talking amongst each other while snacking on the appetizers.

“You got tired of watching the game already?!” Dakota asks as they walk over to you away from the group after noticing you in the kitchen.

You shake your head, “I needed a drink refill… I never imagine myself getting so stressed out over football.”

“Are you stressed about the football game… or are you stressed about seeing Joe later tonight?” Dakota whispers over your shoulder.

Your eyes go wide and turn around to face them, “What?! I’m not stressed about seeing Joe… Why would I get stressed about that?!”

“I would be stressed out to if I was seeing my high school crush for the first time in 8 years… especially if they’re as attractive as Joe.” Dakota states.

You roll your eyes as you take a sip of champagne, “A high school crush is just that… a high school crush.”

“You could say that if Joe grew up to be ugly and I was laughing at you for having a crush on a guy that turned out that way… but, you thought Joe was cute back then and I can tell just from the way your eyes light up when he shows up on TV that you find him hot now. You can’t lie to me, I know the only reason you’re paying attention to go the game is to watch for when Joe shows up on the TV.” Dakota defensively says.

A blush appears on your face as you take another sip of champagne, not knowing how to respond to Dakota… you’re not saying that they’re right, but they’re not wrong about observations because Joe was the only reason you were paying attention to the game.

After pouring another refill of champagne and conversing with some of your old classmates from high school for the rest of halftime… You walked back into the living room to sit back on the couch just as the 3rd quarter of the football game was about to start.

At first it was just a few people sitting around in the living room watching the game, but after a while everyone was sitting around in the living room paying close attention to what was happening on the TV.

Honestly, you didn’t know what was going on a majority of the time during the game but you acted like you knew what was happening when everyone around you would clap or shout at the TV.

If you thought the first half of the game was going by slow, then you weren’t prepared for how slow the second half of the game was going… Once the sun had set you could hear fireworks in the distance from people already starting to celebrate the New Year even though it was still a few hours from midnight.

You had learned through all of your old friends talking throughout the game that this was a very important game for The Bengals, not just because it was against one of their rival teams… but because if The Bengals lose the game, they’re out of the runnings for the playoffs and their last game of the season is next week.

Also, you learned how hard of a season it had been for The Bengals even before the season started. Joe had suffered a calf injury during the second day of training camp that affected The Bengals during their first 6 games, losing some of their best players from last season during the off-season, signing players that didn’t add anything special to the team, and other players had suffered injuries throughout the season… overall their had been this glooming cloud over their heads that just got darker after Joe suffered his wrist injury even with the small light that the back-up quarterback brought back for the team.

As the football game was coming to an end, the chances of The Bengals winning against The Chiefs was going down… you may have not understood everything that was happening, but from your friends’ reactions you could tell that something wasn’t going right whether it was the players not playing as well as expected or if it was referees doing their dirty work.

The final score of the game appeared on the screen as a signal that it was over. Not just that the game was over but that the season was over for The Bengals after next week’s game… Your heart broke for your friends who were sad about the end results of the seasons, but also you felt sad for Joe and his team that looked heartbroken at the end of the game.

“I hope Joe is still going to want to attend the reunion even after the end of the terrible game.” Eleanor says.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes home to his new house after they arrive home.” one of your old classmates, Cindy says. “We know what he can be like after The Bengals lose a game.”

“It’s a 2 hour flight from Kansas City to Cincinnati… so he’ll have plenty of time to think about whether or not he wants to hang out with his old friends from Athens.” Daniel, another one of your old classmates, states.

“I hope he doesn’t bail on us like last time a bunch of us tried to get together.” Charles says.

“Joe’s not going to bail on us… Y/N is here with us!” Dakota exclaims. “They’re the reason why this reunion is happening in the first place!”

As the pre-show for the Sunday Night Football game started… everyone split off into their own groups whether they were making their dinner plates to go out on the balcony watch the fireworks, starting to get the photo-booth set up for pictures to post on social media at Midnight, or staying in their spot on the couch with a new beer drink in their hand to watch the pre-show.

You had gotten up from your spot on the couch and walked around the apartment, trying to find your place amongst the people you used to know… You didn’t contribute much to their conversations, just listening to your old friends talk about their new lives whether they still live in Ohio or if they moved out of the state. But the difference is that they continued to keep in contact with people from Athens while you didn’t keep in contact at all.

In an apartment full of people that you used to know, you felt lonelier than you have ever felt before with the glass of champagne in your hand… and you are starting to wonder if the person you were most excited to see tonight was even going to show up at all.

—

The New Year’s Eve Reunion moved from Dakota’s apartment to the rooftop of his apartment complex. Everyone has a glass of champagne in their hands as they watched the fireworks from all around the city being exposed into the sky.

Everyone in the city of Cincinnati were counting down the minutes until Midnight, but you were wishing that time would slow down… not because you didn’t want to go into a new year, but because the one person that you wanted to celebrate the New Year with wasn’t here.

“Are you excited for 2024?” Dakota asked as the walked up to you. “I remember you mentioning yesterday you’ll be publishing your first book this year.”

“I am excited for the new year!” you answer, then taking a sip of your champagne. “Yeah, I hope that 2024 is going to be a memorable year.”

Dakota nodded their head, “You haven’t given up on Joe showing up yet right?! Everyone else is just assuming that he’s not showing up cause he should’ve been here by now.”

You shrug your shoulders, “Like you said… he should’ve been here by now, so who knows what’s going on. Maybe some people were right about him not wanting to come here after the terrible football game.”

“Remember what we were talking about yesterday. Joe will always be the same Joe that we knew from high school… There was only one time that he bailed on us to hang out as a group and it was for an important reason, he didn’t just bail on us because he doesn’t want to hang out with us anymore.” Dakota explains.

Their words about Joe makes you smile, it’s always good to hear that the boy you knew from Athens High School grew up into the nice man that his friends praise him to be.

You don’t have any doubts that Joe would be able to make it. You trust Dakota’s words more than anyone else who is doubting his arrival… and Dakota wouldn’t lie to you, so if they said that Joe is coming then he is.

There was still just about 20 minutes to midnight, but people around you were already getting a little too tipsy off the champagne as if the clock had already struck midnight. Another glass of champagne might help you get through the rest of the night if …

The man of the hour, the man that everyone from Athens High School had been looking forward to seeing again… Joe Burrow is standing right in front of everyone with his hand in the pockets of his long black coat and a beanie with his curls falling out.

“Hey everyone!” a voice exclaimed, that had everyone turning their heads towards the rooftop entrance.

There’s noise all around you but you felt frozen in place as you watched Joe and your old classmate greet each other with hugs, wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

“I told you he was going to be here.” Dakota whisper in your ear and patting your back before walking over to Joe to greet him for the first time in a few weeks.

You took a gulp of champagne as you continue to watch Joe, who is now talking to Dakota and another one of your old classmates that you didn’t recognize.

Joe leans closer to whisper something to Dakora before you seem them smile and point towards your direction… When Joe looks over to where Dakota was pointing, a smile appears on his face when he finally notices you standing across the rooftop from him.

You shyly wave towards them as you watch Dakota whisper something to Joe that causes him to laugh as he’s still looking at you… Your mind couldn’t help but wander off into trying to figure out what they could be laughing at.

Were they laughing at you… or laughing about you?!

Before your mind had any chance to theorize about what they could be laughing at, you saw Joe and Dakota walking towards your direction… After taking one last sip of champagne, you place your glass into the rooftop railing that is right next to you and try to act as natural as possible without giving any sign of you freaking out on the inside.

“Hello Y/N! Long time no see!” Joe exclaims right as he and Dakota are walking right in front of you.

“Hey Joe! It’s so good to see you again.” you say, when you see him open arms to give you a hug. You walk towards him to accept his hug.

Joe’s arms wrap around your waist as your arms wrap around his neck and the two of you sway for just a few seconds… When you glance over Joe’s shoulder, you can see Dakota standing a little farther back with a smile on his face.

The hug lasted only just a few seconds longer before the two of you pulled away from each other with matching smiles on your faces and putting your hands in your coat pockets as the breezes goes by.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Joe exclaims. “It’s been 8 years since you’ve been in Ohio… That’s a long time.”

“Yeah it is has been that long… and I can’t believe you’re here too!” you say. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been… fine.” Joe answers. “Things haven’t gone the way I wished the last few weeks… but things will get better next year, that’s what we’re all wishing for.”

“Yeah I heard about some of those things… I’m sorry about your wrist injury, I can’t imagine what it’s like going through something like that.” you respond.

“It’s alright, I don’t need sympathy…” Joe says, “How have you been? Dakota told me you’re going to be publishing your first book in 2024?!”

You nod, “Yeah, I’ve been working on the book for almost two years so I’m ready for it to be publish.”

“I hope I get a signed copy from the author!” Joe cheekily says which causes you to laugh and agree to give him a signed copy when your book is published.

For a few seconds, Joe just stares at you which causes you to raise an eyebrow. “Do I have something on my face?” you ask as you start touching around your mouth to see if there was any crumbs from the food.

“No! No! There’s nothing on your face.” Joe exclaims as he shook his head. “I just… I just can’t believe you’re home for the first time in 8 years.”

“I can’t believe it either.” you say, as you reach for your empty glass from the rooftop railing just to have something to fidget with in your hands.

“I missed you.” Joe confessed, stepping closer to you.

“That’s what I’ve heard.” you say, with a smirk on your face as you make eye contact with Joe.

He furrows his brows, “What have you heard?”

“Nothing bad I promise!” you exclaim. “Dakota has just told me a few things. You know they love to gossip.”

Joe laughs, “Of course… So I’m assuming that you were told that I’m the reason Dakota reached out to you to invite you to this reunion.”

You nod your head as you lean back against the rooftop railing, “That’s one of the things I heard… who would’ve know the Cincinnati Quarterback thinks alot about a girl he used to know from Athens High School.”

Joe steps closer to you as he leans against the rooftop railing, resting his arm on top of the railing. “Why wouldn’t I think about the girl from Athens High School who just mysteriously left the state without saying good-bye and never returned until 8 years later… this is what the kids’ these days call ‘My Roman Empire’.”

You sighed and look to the ground as your crossed your arms over your chest… you knew Joe was just making a joke out of the situation but once again you couldn’t help but feel guilty at your past actions.

“I didn’t mean to be gone for so long…” you respond, “I just never felt like there was a good enough reason to come back until now.”

Once again Joe furrows his brows, but this time you didn’t notice, “What do you mean there wasn’t a good enough reason to come back?”

You didn’t verbally answer, you didn’t know how to verbally answer him… so you shrugged your shoulders.

“I know your mom and step-mom had divorced right after High School Graduation… but was your friends not a good enough reason to come back, was Dakota not a good enough reason? Was I not a good enough reason?” Joe frustratedly asked.

You look up at Joe and immediately start shaking your head, “That’s not… That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean when you said that there wasn’t a good enough reason to come back?” he asks.

“Athens was the closest thing to home that I ever experienced in my life… I hope you remember the many stories I had told you about how my mom and I moved around the country because my mom’s family didn’t accept her after she came out as a Lesbian and she was always scared that they would find her to try and take me away from her.” you stated. “And then my mom met my step-mom and they fell in love, so we moved to Athens. I finally had a place to call home and I didn’t have to worry about always keeping a suitcase full of clothes packed and wondering which city I would wake up in… but 4 years later right before high school graduation they told me that they were getting a divorce because my step-mom had an affair with my mom’s boss. I was planning on leaving Athens to go to Stanford University but also, I planned on coming home if my mom was living in the city but she moved far away from Ohio and I could never build up courage to visit the city because I left everything behind.”

It took a couple of seconds for Joe to respond, you could see the gears turning in his head as he processed all of the information that you had just given him.

The silence between the two of you was so loud that you could hear someone shout in the distance that it was 10 minutes until Midnight… which means that it’s so close to the start of the New Year, it was so close to celebrating with the people who are the closest thing that you ever had to a real family.

“I’m sorry you went through all of that…” Joe whispers. “I remember the stories that you had told me when we were younger, all of the struggled that you and your mom had faced for so many years… and that’s one of the reasons why I’ve always thought about you over the past few years.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m very thankful that you were there for me by my side and being a person that I could trust.” you say. “And I wish I would’ve trusted you enough to be a person to have been the person to keep me coming back to Athens.”

“I don’t blame you for leaving… you had to do what you needed to do after what your step-mom did to you and your mom.” Joe says. “I just wish we could’ve stayed in contract with each other, even if it was just to check up on each other every couple of days.”

You nod your head in agreement, “This visit to Athens has really made me feel guilty about keeping contact with the people that cared about me… Everyone else that moved away was able to do it, but I couldn’t.”

“Well it’s never too late to keep in contact with us now.” Joe says, reaching in the pocket of his coat and pulling out his phone. He quickly unlocks it before handing it to you. “Put your phone number in the phone, I’m taking you out tomorrow in Athens.”

You smile as you type your phone number into a brand new contact, and then you give him back his phone. “An area code from New York City?!” he asks.

“Yeah, I live in New York City!” you answer.

“Wow… Really?” he says and you nod your head. “Okay… you might think that I sound crazy but a few months ago, I was in New York for this Charity Partnership and I swear when I went to get lunch that I saw you but, I had thought that I was imagining but, I don’t think I was imagining anymore. The woman that I saw was you!”

“If you went get lunch at Cafe Manhattan then it was probably me because I go and eat there for lunch almost everyday when I’m in New York.” you respond.

“It was Cafe Manhattan!” Joe exclaims which causes you to laugh. “I swear I was going crazy for months thinking if I had seen you or not… I told Dakota about it which led to our conversation about doing this New Year’s Eve Reunion with a bunch of our old friends from Athens.”

“Yeah they had told me yesterday that this New Year’s Eve Reunion was your idea.” you say.

“We were just talking about how it had been so long since all our friends from Athens had got together to hang out like we did in high school… and most people are in their hometowns for the Holidsys, so Dakota just took the chance to plan the event and to invite people and now here we are on New Year’s Eve!” Joe stated.

“I can’t believe it’s almost the new year.” you say.

“I’m so ready for this year to be over…” Joe whispers as he looks at the ground.

“In less than 5 minutes it’s going to be a new year and you’ll never have to experience a day in 2023 ever again!” you exclaim, after checking your watch.

“Thank God… this was a rough year.” Joe states. “Everything that could’ve gone wrong, went wrong.”

You place a hand on his shoulder to give him some comfort. “Don’t think about the bad things that happened this year… Tell me one good thing that happened this year.”

Joe looked up from the ground to you and smiled, “The girl that mysteriously left Athens came home.”

Maybe the redness that appeared on your cheeks was because of the wind… or maybe the redness that appeared on your cheeks is because you’re blushing.

“I’m flattered… but there has to be some other good thing that had happened to you this year.” you say.

Joe shakes his head, “No… nothing is better than this.” he says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder to smoothly pull you close to him and you wrap your arms around his waist.

The two of you watch the fireworks explode in the night sky, as the clock was ticking closer to midnight more fireworks appeared across the sky… You’ve spent the past few years watching the New Years fireworks celebrations from your balcony in New York City, but the sight of fireworks have never been so beautiful.

From the corner of your eye, you can see Dakota watching you and Joe with a smile on their face as they raise their glass to “toast” towards the two of you when you make eye contact with them.

When you turn back to focus on the night sky full of fireworks, you had assumed that Joe was continuing to watch the fireworks show… but when you took a quick glance in his direction, he was staring at you.

“What’s on your mind?” you ask him.

Joe thinks for a few seconds then asks, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked me a question.” you answer which caused Joe to laugh. “But yes, you can ask me a question.”

He takes a sip of champagne and places his glass on the rooftop railing before turning his attention back to you. “Will you be my New Year’s Kiss?”

You let out a laugh, “You didn’t want to ask any other of your old classmates from Athens High School to be your New Year’s Kiss?”

Joe makes a face and shakes his head, “There’s only one girl from Athens High School that I want to kiss.”

The people around you always started the countdown, there was just one minute until the New Year… but you and Joe were stuck a bubble in your own world.

“Can I ask you another question?” Joe asks, you laugh.

“You have alot of questions for me tonight!” you exclaim. “But yes you can ask me another question.”

“I don’t know when you’re leaving Ohio… but will you come back to Athens with me before you leave?” he asked. “I’m going visit my parents just for two days before having to go back to work, and I would love for you to join me.”

“I’m staying in Ohio until January 10th… so I definitely would love to spend a few days with you in Athens.” you answer.

“That good information to know…” Joe says with a smirk on his face that you just wanted to kiss so bad.

“I can tell by the look on your face that you’re already planning out what we’re going to do in Athens.” you say.

Joe nods his head, “I’m going back to Athens tomorrow and Tuesday, then I’ll be in Cincinnati until Sunday for The Bengals last game of the season… then I’ll be back in Athens for a couple of more days. So you’re going to be stuck with me the entire time!”

You laugh at the last part of Joe’s plans, “I guess it’s fair for me to be stuck with you for the next couple of days since I was gone for 8 years.”

“Let’s not talk about the past, let’s focus on the future.” Joe says. “The New Year is so close upon us.”

“TEN!”

The two of you look at the sky and see the fireworks…

“NINE!”

Joe lifts up his glass of champagne and takes a sip…

“EIGHT!”

He places his empty glass on the rooftop railing…

“SEVEN!”

Joe looks at you and smiles…

“SIX!”

You look at Joe and smiles…

“FIVE”

“Are you ready for 2024?” Joe asks in a whisper.

“FOUR!”

You nod your head, “I’m ready for 2024!”

“THREE!”

You lean closer to Joe…

“TWO!”

Joe places his left hand on your cheek…

“ONE!”

Joe leans closer to you…

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

And he kisses you…

There’s an explosion of fireworks in the night sky as people cheer on the beginning on the New Year. You didn’t want to pull away from Joe, you’ve waited much longer than 8 years for this first kiss with him.

The two of you had to pull away, not only just to breathe but so that people wouldn’t be staring at how of their old classmates making out in the corner of the rooftop.

He smiles as he leans his forehead against yours, “Happy New Year!” he whispers to you.

“Happy New Year!” you whisper back to him.

Joe leans back against the rooftop railing and pulls you closer to him as you rest your body against him. The two of you watched the fireworks in the sky and said “Happy New Year!” to your old friends that passed by.

For the rest of the night, you stayed by Joe’s side. After feeling a little bit lonely throughout the night, not being able to find your place amongst your old friends… You finally had someone to stay by your side for the night.

You grateful that your old friends from Athens High School never forgot about you and gave you a reason to visit Athens after being gone for years… You’re happy you accepted Dakota’s New Year’s Eve Reunion invitation, because otherwise you would’ve been stuck all by yourself in your apartment in New York City.

The future year looks to be so exciting; your first book was going to be published this year, you’re rebuilding friendships with your old friends, the boy from Athens High School that you had a crush on is now wrapped around your finger, and you’re already planning your next future visits to Athens, Ohio.

It felt so good to be back to the first place you called home. Surrounded by the people that welcomed you into the city with open arms, the people that were some of the best people in high school or the worse people in high school that shaped you into the person that you are today, and the people that changed you in more ways than you’ll ever realize.

Author’s Note:

Happy New Year! and Happy First Joe Burrow Fanfiction of 2024! I’m very excited for this year and I can’t wait to see what happens in the future!

thank you for all the love and support! 🤍

[karmathehalflander]

Some symbrock centric Venom the last dance fic ideas I have. Feel free to use these ideas if you want! (You have to send me a link though because I’ll want to see it) You can change any details and mix and match ideas these are just concepts I’ve been thinking about for a bit that I wish I could write but I’m to busy to.

Please keep in mind I wrote all of these notes out at 3 AM so if the wording doesn’t make sense that’s probably why. This is a bit long so I added a page break

1: Post VTLD. When Venom separated from Eddie he left a big chunk of his consciousness inside Eddies mind. His physical form is completely gone, but similar to how Venom revived Eddie, Eddie could rebuild Venom’s body. (In this universe this would not reignite the codex, that only happens when a symbiote revives a host) however, this process is going to be extremely, long, tedious, and exhausting. Eddie will need to connect deeply to his body and Venoms consciousness requiring a lot of meditation. They would ask for Mrs. Chen’s help and she would be absolutely delighted. Doing this would also require Eddie start taking better care of himself. And along this wild journey of connecting deeply with their shared body and mind their bond grows stronger and they learn to communicate and Eddie finally expresses his love for Venom. The actual meditation sessions could involve a lot. Visiting each other’s memories and learning about their time before they met. They learn about the ways both of them experienced a lot of isolation and trauma, Venom learns more about Eddie’s family and past relationships, Eddie learns about Venom’s past hosts and other symbiotes he knew. They talk about each others feelings for once, and Eddie learns a lot about human and alien anatomy along the way. This fic would be silly at times, angsty at others, but always deeply romantic and intimate. And of course Eddie succeeds in forming Venom a new body and the first thing they go with it is kiss for the first time.

2: Post VTLD Eddie is extremely distraught. He has a new apartment in NewYork but is not handling the loss well. He’s been drinking too much and barely eating. Anne and Dan are trying but they live a while away and are married and expecting a baby there’s only so much they can do. After a particularly rough night in which Eddie probably gives himself alcohol poisoning he dreams of Venom he’s there and telling Eddie “you need to take better care of yourself I didn’t sacrifice myself all heroically for you to go and die from neglecting yourself” and every night from them on Venom is there in his dreams. Eddie thinks he’s going crazy and this is a coping mechanism. Why is this happening? IDK it’s up to you.

3: similar to #1 Venom’s physical form died, but Vee left a part of their consciousness inside Eddies mind and has been gaining strength. Venom can’t regenerate his physical form anymore. But his voice is still there in Eddie’s head. And later on Venom could learn to project a physical form to Eddies eyes by messing with his brain. Maybe even simulate touch. you could tie #2 with this one. Like maybe at first to connect they need to be asleep because of the change in brain activity.

4: Takes place a few weeks after VTLD and Eddie has moved into a new apartment in NewYork he has a stable job but is in extreme mourning. He starts to feel sick and is progressively getting worse as the days go on. Dan checks him out and realizes Eddies body got so used to Venom just existing inside him as well as helping regulate his systems, eat bacteria/viruses, and aid his digestion that now that he’s gone his body is destroying itself from the inside. Eddie is dying. Various treatments aren’t working and Eddie is distraught that Venom died for nothing. lot of ending options. Venom returns and saves him last minute, Eddie does die of this but it’s implied they’re reunited in the afterlife, straight up hurt/no comfort heavy angst, the world is your oyster. The fic would probably be pretty short at most two chapters but it could definitely be stretched out way longer I just don’t have many more ideas for this particular scenario

5: Eddie sacrifices himself for Venom instead. Eddie finally gets to repay all the care Venom has shown for him. Is Eddie permanently dead? Up to you I just like this concept.

6: Venom is alive, but he was reformed from that small bit of biomass Venom left behind in the bar. Because of this, Venom’s consciousness and memories are still developing and he doesn’t remember much. All he knows is that he had to get back to Eddie, even though he doesn’t know who that is. They get to rediscover each other all over again as Venom slowly recovers their memories. This fic would switch between Venom and Eddie’s POV and probably start in Venom’s POV.

7: A small oneshot where Eddie confides with Anne about how he feels like he took Venom for granted in the exact same way he did to her. Hurt/comfort, you get the idea.

8: I just need someone to write a fic where Eddie goes to grief counseling/therapy lord knows that man needs it. Anne and Dan probably have to make him.

9: Eddie has a new apartment in NewYork and visits the statute of liberty every day. There’s another person that’s always there as well. This idea is bare bones but I thought I would include it just in case.

[seokmthw]

search the universe | park gunwook

⇢ pairing: gunwook x reader

⇢ warnings: soulmate au, slight angst, fluff, mentions of death, brief mentions of alcohol

⇢ word count: 3.3k

⇢ synopsis: timers are stamped onto your wrist with the amount of days you have left until you either die or find your soulmate. since you had gotten yours, you had a hard time believing it was the latter.

⇢ note: i know this is a really cliché soulmate trope, but i have a love for it that i can't quite explain. i'm hoping this won't be the last you see of soulmate!zb1, so be on the lookout in the future for more from me! <3

JOIN MY TAGLIST!

i.

soulmates were a weird concept to you from the moment you learned about them. wveryone around you - friends, family, coworkers - have always been excited to find the people they’re meant to be with for the rest of their lives. you never understood the hype, much less how the actuality of it all was ever achievable in the first place. everyone whose timer you witnessed ticking down almost always met their death sentence, so you had every right to be apprehensive about whether it truly worked or if you've been fed lies for your entire life.

everyone was born with a timer on their left wrist with chunky black squares and beaming red digits that never lit up until you reached a certain age in your life. yours started on your sixteenth birthday with the fresh set of bold letters reading 1,095 days. that was exactly three years, no more, no less. it was a rare occurrence someone would ever be branded with the same date as their birthday, but the universe just seemed to hate you more and more for not believing it’s incredibly stupid logic. your nineteenth birthday was either going to be magical or tragic for those around you, but you already knew everything was going to take a turn for a worse, so why stress about it?

that day was now exactly a week away and your parents and group of friends were stressed out more than ever because they weren’t sure if they should plan a party or a funeral. you told them all not to worry about it, that you didn’t care, but they never seemed to listen. which was fine, you were used to people losing their minds over your slowly deteriorating time, but you just wished that once in a while someone would pay attention to how you felt. 

especially now, where your two idiot best friends were frantically pacing the living room in your shared apartment with their thoughts spewing directly from their mouths out into the open. they had absolutely no filter, so talks about a gruesome death and an unforgettable birthday bash were the main topics.

“guys, seriously, it’s fine. i really don’t want you to be in a constant state of distress because i’m going to die before you do,” you said.

yujin stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with bewilderment as he gasped, “y/n, if you say anything like that one more time i’m going to kick you.”

you merely shrugged, “i’m just speaking the truth.”

gyuvin, who had just thrown himself onto the plush loveseat, sighed loudly but didn’t say a word. you knew that every time you talked about this you made them upset, and tension was even higher now that the numbers on your arm had a seven on them. you just wished they would accept your fate and move on, because really, you didn’t think it was a big deal. 

“come on, please don’t be upset with me,” your voice grew soft at the sight of their somber faces and your own realization that this was having more of an effect on them than you initially thought, “if i am going to die, let’s make this last week one of the best we’ve had in our lives, okay?”

yujin and gyuvin shared a look before they finally nodded and you were engulfed in a bone crushing hug. it felt good to feel their arms around you, because at the end of the day, you needed them more than anyone else in the world. you just hoped that they would be able to move on past it all and continue to live for you. after all, they adorned a hefty amount more numbers than you did, so they still had a while. 

“we love you, y/n, and we get mad at you because we care so much,” gyuvin whispered, so it felt like it was only the three of you in the whole universe, “now are you going to let us plan a party or not?”

“please let us plan a party!” yujin exclaimed.

you huffed in mock annoyance, “fine, but you have to promise me you won’t go too crazy. i don’t want you guys to get your hopes up and the outcome be worse than you expect.”

“deal.”

three days after your compromise with your friends, you were sat at your favorite restaurant, where they wanted to ask your opinion on some of the party decorations. however, the initial reason was soon deflated due to you recounting a dream you had. to say they were surprised was an understatement.

"you what?” gyuvin exclaimed, causing you to cringe back into your spot of the booth. he and yujin shared almost the same expression the moment you began recounting the news to them.

slowly, you replied, “i told you, i had a dream about someone i don’t know. it was so weird though, because i couldn’t see their face whatsoever.”

and it was true. the past two nights you’d had the same exact dream. the first time, things were foggy and clouded, making it to where you could only hear his voice. however, the second night, you could make out a bright smile and glittery brown eyes, but nothing more. you met your friends’ gazes, shrugging your shoulders, “it’s really not that big of a deal. i don’t know why you guys are so surprised about it.”

“you are such a dumbass,” yujin replied as he buried his face in his hands, his voice muffled as he spoke the next time, “have you not listened to a single thing we were taught about the timers in school?”

“no! i’ve always slept, you should know that. i sat next to you during the lectures.”

gyuvin looked as if he were about to slam his head into the wall next to him, “it’s literally common sense to know that when you have a dream about someone you don’t know when your timer is almost up that it’s your soulmate.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving rice from the plate in front of you into your mouth to avoid saying anything that could upset them. no matter what anyone said, you just couldn’t even begin to think how it’s logical to believe the stuff school fed you, especially when it came to those numbers. you were absolutely not going to become brainwashed into thinking that a meager dream could have any significant correlation with your timer.

“i think you guys are just trying to get into my head to make me believe these stupid things are actually worth my time,” you laughed.

“it sounds to me like you’re trying to tell yourself not to actually take what we say into consideration,” gyuvin stated matter-of-factly, spooning a mouthful of the stew he’d ordered into his mouth, with an eyebrow quirked up in question. yujin suppressed a smirk next to him.

you fell silent at his words. it wasn’t because you believed him, because you certainly did not, but you were done talking about it. you made a promise to yourself not to utter a single word about your dream around either of your best friends - you knew they would do this - but your tongue had different plans for you and now the situation was a mess. their accusing glances, wide grins, and shared looks were enough to give it away.

you threw enough cash to pay for your meal on the table and scooted out of the booth, your lips pressed into a thin line, “i’ll see you guys back at the apartment.”

“y/n, wait!” yujin called after you, his voice faltering slightly, “we didn’t mean to upset you!”

“just let them go, yujin, all we ever do is make them mad anymore. maybe it’s best to have some time apart.”

gyuvin’s words sent a pang of guilt and sadness to your chest, and it took everything you had not to choke on a sob right then and there. it took a lot for him to say something that could be hurtful and knowing you were the one that caused it made you want to scream until your voice went hoarse. however, you refused to turn back and apologize, because you weren’t the only one in the wrong. they were just as much at fault as you were. 

soon, you found yourself sat on a swing in the park a few blocks from your apartment complex, tears staining your cheeks and your heart hurting. what if your friends were right and you were just blowing the entire soulmate thing way out of proportion? was everyone else you’d seen meet their death just the less fortunate? questions flooded your mind and had no intention of stopping any time soon. you felt dizzy from your brain taking on so much at once and you were beyond grateful for the seat below your body that kept you steady. 

you never thought that you would consider having a soulmate as a possibility, but here you were, wallowing in self-pity and hatred for yourself for causing everyone around you grief just because you couldn’t seem to see the logic until four days before your timer ended. sighing, you aggressively wiped away the remaining tears on your skin and rose from your spot. it was about time you started to head back to your apartment. 

an apology was long overdue anyway.

ii.

thin fog swirled around your ankles as you walked toward the shadowy figure just in your line of vision. the soft pink glow of the sky reflected in his eyes - which were as sparkly and happy as ever - and glimmered beautifully in his hair. he seemed far beyond your grasp, and just when you thought you were getting closer to him, he was even further back than before.

what originally started out as a walk became a light jog in a desperate attempt to reach him. you swore for a moment you could catch a glimpse of one of his features you’d previously been unable to see before, but it was gone just as you were about to reach him. you were now broken out into a sprint, your legs burning and heart racing.

you needed to see him. 

but, he just kept getting further and further away, his gaze haunting you with unanswered questions and a plethora of what if’s. you refused to give up. you pushed your legs harder, extending them to your absolute best ability to cover more distance between you and his dark presence. with your arm stretched out, you called, “wait, please!”

the boy finally stopped - though it was unclear if it was because of your desperation or exhausted state - and held his hand out for you to take. you forced your legs to a stop, your eyes frantically searching the features visible to you to try and cling on to what little you were offered. the same two features as before; his hair and his eyes. 

for a fleeting moment, you saw something flicker across the the lower part of his face, just beneath his nose. However, just like that, it was gone, but you knew exactly what it was.

a gummy smile.

iii.

it was finally your birthday, and the day that you would be meeting whatever fate you had in store. you had woken up at ten o’clock, thankfully, but now it was five o’clock and you still had six hours and twenty minutes left on your timer, so anything was possible. you were a lot more nervous than you expected, but since you’d spent your entire life resenting this day, it wasn’t as overbearing as you imagined it would be. 

the moment you entered into the kitchen, yujin and gyuvin were showering you in hugs and loads of “happy birthday, y/n”s but the troubled looks in their eyes were hard to miss. you could have sworn you saw a tear slip onto yujin’s cheek and that gyuvin’s breathing was slightly uneven, but you decided not to comment on it. not on this day. you didn’t think you could live with yourself if you sparked an argument on what could be some of the last moments you had with them.

instead, you hugged them both for a good five minutes, relishing in the feeling of security and comfort their grips held. the nagging in the back of your mind told you to enjoy as much of their company as you could in those remaining thirteen hours, because you very well could never get it again. and neither could they. pushing the thoughts back, you gladly dug into the dinner the pair made for you and watched the drama reruns that were playing on the television in the living room. it was a favorite among the three of you, so it only felt right to turn it on and delve into the world of your favorite characters.

about an hour later, your friends ordered you to stay in the apartment and get ready for your party while they went and set up, which was code for “hey, we don’t want some freak accident to happen before your timer is up so just stay here where we know you’re safe,” but you certainly weren’t complaining. as of right now, the safer, the better.

once left alone until they were to come to pick you up, you dropped to your knees in the middle of the kitchen and sobbed. this entire situation was all too real, and you could feel the steady grip you once had on being sure you were ready to accept your death starting to slip through your fingertips. you had no right to be upset, this was the day you were waiting for your whole life just so you could prove to everyone that you were right.

but you were just so scared.

there were so many what if’s, so many unknown factors of what the rest of your evening had in store. you weren’t sure you were ready to find out, but your timer was dead set on getting you to that point. the more you looked at the crimson numbers, the more your belly twisted and turned. you hoped that if you were to die, it was quick and painless, and if you were to meet your soulmate, you wouldn't be the most awkward person in the world.

you sat on the cold tile with silent tears flowing down your cheeks for what felt like an eternity, but only ended up being twenty minutes before you finally pulled yourself together and forced your legs to take you into your bedroom so you could get dressed. you had less than a couple hours before yujin and gyuvin would be back, and if you didn’t look collected and put together, all hell would break loose. you chuckled at the thought while you threaded your legs through your skinny jeans and put your top on. 

by the time your best friends had come back to get you, you were going stir crazy penned up inside of the apartment, so you were glad to finally be going somewhere. the drive there was full of music blasting and lots of laughs, but the sadness was still heavy in the air. you couldn’t blame them, though, because you definitely felt the same way. 

once at the venue, you couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. everything was outside, fairy lights casting a warm glow across the otherwise dark section of the area you were in. a bonfire was already raging in the middle of it all. people circled around it with drinks in their hands and smiles stretching across their faces. you couldn’t believe how many people actually came or how much yujin and gyuvin had  outdone themselves with the entire setup. 

“this is so beautiful, guys, thank you,” was the only thing you could manage to exert from your lungs before you were pulling them both into a tight hug, suppressing the fresh tears that threatened to spill over at the snap of a finger.

gyuvin laughed softly, “anything for you.”

“we love you, you know that, right?” yujin inquired, pulling back slightly so he could meet his gaze with yours, “so much.”

“i love you guys too.”

your moment only lingered for a few moments after that, because next thing you knew, people were bounding over to you and wishing you a happy birthday. hao and hanbin, who you hung out with occasionally in high school. taerae from the time you dared to sneak out of your parents’ house just to go on a midnight mcdonald’s run with him. matthew and ricky, your old roommates before you decided to move in with yujin and gyuvin. many of old classmates and even a few people you didn’t know. all for you.

you could feel yourself gaining control over your nerves and body once more as you conversed with everyone. all of the weighted thoughts were nearly forgotten about. that is, until you decided to steal a glance at the remaining time left on your wrist. you could feel your chest tighten and your breath hitch in your throat.

three minutes.

that was it. three meager minutes until you either died or met the person you were supposed to be with for the rest of your life. you swallowed harshly. it was best you didn’t mention anything and cause everyone to go into a state of panic, so instead you practically glued your arm to your side and refused to look at the time anymore. whatever was going to happen was left in the hands of fate now.

you took a drink from the cup in your hand, craving for a distraction from the anxiety that was caused from looking at your timer. a light tap on your shoulder was able to be felt and you turned to find yujin, who was smiling widely, “i wanted you to meet my friend, gunwook, who i told you was studying abroad! i figured i would invite him to the party since he was back in town.”

your gaze shifted to the boy that was stood next to yujin. the moment your eyes met with his, a spark was lit and it completely engulfed you from the inside out. the world around you faded, leaving you with only him. his dark brown hair that was illuminated by the light of the bonfire, his honey brown eyes the sparkled like the stars that blanketed the sky, but most importantly - his gummy smile.

he felt the same. you could easily tell by the way his face contorted to an expression that was nothing but pure joy. almost instantly, he pulled you into his arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent. you melted into him, basking in the warmth that he radiated and the feeling of security that you felt in his hold. softly, he whispered, “i’ve been waiting for the day i could finally hold you.”

“i’ve been waiting for the day i could put a face to all of the features i saw in my dreams,” you replied, entirely unable to suppress the grin that broke out onto your lips.

you pulled away from his grasp, flipping his wrist, as well as your own, over to bear the thick zeros that now adorned your wristsand were lit up a bright green. this was it, you finally met your fate, and you were so glad to know that it was with the captivating boy who visited you in your dreams. 

gunwook cupped your cheek, examining your face, taking in every inch, every detail that he could. leaning forward, he was just barely apart from the shell of your ear, lips brushing your skin as he spoke words to you that you wanted to hear over and over again for the rest of your life.

“if i had to search the universe to find you again, i would in a heartbeat.”

[andreafmn]

Bound | Chapter 4

Word Count: 4.9K Warnings: implied/referenced SA, trauma, trauma responses, mentions of death, torture, mentions of DV

Summary: Rosalie always carried the resentment of not being able to fulfill the image of the perfect family she had in her head. But the universe had set out to grant her everything she could've hoped for in the most unconventional way and in the form of a witch. Can their love withstand the promise of forever or will Rosalie and (Y/N) succumb to the grapples of time?

A/N: So, I noticed that the time span of Rosalie's kills take around a year according to Midnight Sun (which I have yet to read) which is why the timeline won't match up very well, but I think it still works... maybe... hopefully. Sorry it took so long to update this story, I honestly did not have time to keep writing it for a bit. This was meant to come out yesterday but I fell asleep 🫣🫣 Also, to any and all survivors of SA that you are not alone and what happened to you is not your fault, it never will be. I hope you have healed or are healing. And if you ever just need an ear to listen, I am here. 🤍

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Three months had passed since the night that changed Rosalie’s life for eternity, and the Hubert brothers had been found dead. Two, since Ulysses Levitt ran out of town with a girl his family would have never approved, and the body of John Harris was found in his hotel room, asphyxiated and with a broken neck. 

Word had spread through the town of a killer that was taking the lives of prominent young figures. They had ransacked through two families already, and it was rumored they had taken the Levitt son hostage, regardless of the letter left. It made families hold their young ones closer to them, hypervigilant of their every move.  No one wanted their child to be next. No one wanted to weep for their child. Not even for them to go missing. 

Because none of them knew that they had nothing to worry about. 

Well, other than the King family. The royal family of Rochester, New York, would suffer a great loss that night at the hands of who would have been their greatest acquisition. She would take his life into her hands the way he had done with hers. He would clamor for mercy, beg for forgiveness, plead for another chance. And she would laugh in his face. 

There weren’t many places Royce could hide in that Rosalie would not have found him. He could have hidden a thousand feet underground, and she would have carved at the ground with her own hands until she got to him. He would not get away from her without paying for what he had done. She was judge, jury, and executioner, and she would make sure his sentence was fulfilled. 

In the Cullen residence, the other three vampires walked on eggshells around Rosalie. The anger that radiated from the girl was hot enough that any closeness could leave them burned. Even if their words and worries came from a place of concern –at least from Carlisle and Esme– she did not want to hear them. All she had time for was her revenge. There was nothing else she had to look forward to. 

She didn’t want to be angry. It was an all-consuming emotion that she did not wish to impart on the family that had “rescued” her.

“Good morning, Rosalie,” Esme called the girl’s attention as she readied herself for the day. “How are you feeling today?”

“As well as I can be while my rapist’s heart still beats,” she shrugged, brushing the golden curls in her hair. “Apart from that, I guess not worse than I felt yesterday.”

“That’s good, I think,” the woman offered a smile. “Hopefully tomorrow is better.” 

“Oh, it will be. Once Royce gets what’s coming for him, the universe will balance itself out. After that… well, we’ll see when we get there.” 

Esme remained quiet for a moment, weighing whether or not her words were welcomed in the blonde’s space. The last thing the woman wanted was to make something snap inside the girl. She was already fragile as it was, even if she wouldn’t allow herself to be, and Esme didn’t want to be the drop of water that made her cup overflow. “May I offer you some words?” she asked against her better judgment.

“If you’re trying to get me to see how wrong it is to take a life, please save your breath,” she responded, holding in her laughter at the irony of her sentence. “Carlisle and Edward have tried, and I can tell you there is nothing you can say that will make me desist from my plan.” 

“Well,” Esme sighed with a smile on her face. “Then, can I tell you about my story? I can’t say that I lived through the horrors of what you did, but I did have my own monster.” The blonde simply nodded in approval, her attention fully on the woman before her. “I didn’t envision my life turning out this way, much like you. When I was younger, I dreamed of being a school teacher. I wanted to mold the minds of my students and help them navigate this crazy world. But my parents wanted me to be the perfect wife. They wanted me to stay home and marry. And I did. I thought then that my life would be better. That’s what my parents had promised, so that’s what I believed. 

“Yet, the man that I married became the monster in the fairytale my parents had designed. He was abusive. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. He made me feel like I had no escape. And my parents perpetuated that behavior. They told me to keep it quiet. That no one in town would ever believe that he could do anything like that,” the woman continued. Rosalie could tell how difficult it was to tell her story. She could see the fear flashing in her eyes and the tremble in her hands as she felt the ghosts of her past creeping up her neck. And she wondered if that was the way she would look. Regardless of her impenetrable body, anyone would be able to see the pain plastered on her face. “There was some solace when the Great War passed. He was drafted, and I had months of peace. I learned that you don’t know how deep in the chaos you have gotten until you see a way out. Deep down, I hoped he never returned. It was easier to be a widow than to live the rest of my life in fear.

“But, much to my dismay, he came back once the war had ended. I knew my sentence was until death did us part. Until I became pregnant a few months after his return, and there was a new life to fight for,” Esme said. “I ran as far as I could. I needed to protect my baby, and I couldn’t do that if I was dead. He found me the first time, though. So, I ran again. For some time, I even became a teacher. For the first time in so many years, I was happy. I had fulfilled my childhood dream, and I was building my own family. But all of that ended when my baby died only two days after being born. I had changed my entire life for my son, and he had been ripped away from me in just 48 hours. With him gone, I had nothing left to live for. And well, after all that, Carlisle changed me. 

“I will say that I assimilated to this life quickly. It was easy when the alternative had been so horrendous for me. But, the reason I’m telling you this is not because I just wanted you to hear my sorrowful story,” she chuckled softly. “A couple of years after I was changed, Edward grew rebellious. We didn’t have a bad life, much less a bad relationship. But he was only a year younger than you are when he was turned, and he was growing angsty with our way of life, especially our diet. He went on a rampage, finding the worst of the worst among humans using his ability. He only returned to us two years ago. But he told me who his first victim had been. It had been my ex-husband. He told me how he made sure he suffered, that he yelled for mercy, and pleaded to God to save him.

“It should have made me feel better that he was gone. That he couldn’t hurt anyone any longer, for the world had to be a better place without another monster walking in its midst. I did feel relief for a second that he could not get to anyone else, but it didn’t really matter. He had still hurt me, and his being dead didn’t change that. All I could do was try and move past it. Not forgetting what he did to me, but learning to live with it,” she explained. Esme approached Rosalie, taking her hands in hers and staring deeply into the red eyes before her. “Killing Royce won’t stop the hurt from taking over your heart, Rosalie, just as I know that killing those other four men hasn’t satiated the ire inside you.”  

“Even if it won’t fix what they tore inside me, I can make sure it doesn’t happen to any other woman. At least, the ones that would have fallen victim to them if they weren’t dead,” Rosalie said through gritted teeth. There were no tears to hold back, as much as she wanted them. She wanted them to make her eyes burn with anticipation, and she couldn’t almost remember that feeling and trick herself that it was happening. But the stream never came. “I cannot let him walk free on this earth after seeing just how well he can hide the kind of monster he is. If he was going to marry me and he did what he did, I don’t want to imagine what he would do to a woman he doesn’t even know. I’m not doing this to heal anything inside me or because I am seeking inner peace. I am doing this so they can never do this again.”

 Esme knew there was nothing she could say that would deter Rosalie from finishing her plan. Instead of drowning with more words, she simply smiled and told her she understood. Before leaving the girl be, she turned and said, “You should take a stroll through the garden. This summer the nightshade has sprouted beautifully.” 

Rosalie stared at herself in the mirror, and the vision that stared back at her startled her. Dressed in a strikingly white dress that was as close as possible to the one she had picked out with her mother was unsettling. Much more knowing that to that day, she should have been already three months married… or three months dead. 

But she was neither. 

No. Her blood-red eyes reminded her that she was not married and she was stuck in a land that was not quite living but not quite dead. She was stuck as she was in a world that was no longer hers for the taking. Still, if there was one thing that was still hers, it was the ability to taste Royce’s death already. 

She had found his hideout rather quickly. He had trapped himself in the basement of an abandoned bank building that was still under his family’s possession. Little did he know that in his hiding, he had given her the perfect place to rid the world of the monster he was. His soul would forever be trapped somewhere that perfectly represented him –cold, dark, and made just for money. 

Everything was already going to plan. The crate of whiskey had been delivered on time and sent directly into the vault with food and other necessities. All she needed to do was wait it out for an hour. Sixty minutes to allow the paranoia to set in, for the hallucinations to fester, for all the pain and discomfort to rip its way across his body. She would allow the little plant to set her stage because she would be the main act that day. 

Rosalie waited until she could not wait any longer. Until she knew his mind would have started its descent into madness. She wanted him to be trembling in his skin before she made her grand entrance. 

From the bank's main lobby, she could hear Royce’s racing heart, his breathing heave, and his frantic steps. It would have been the most intoxicating song had her heart not been filled with dark hatred. His suffering meant nothing to her until it was her own hands inflicting the pain. She had to get into that room sooner rather than later. 

Though Royce was her main target, she needed to get past the two men that guarded the vault door. Innocent souls that had to be reaped because of the sins of a monster. Her parents had taught her the just paid for the guilty. And in matters of love and war, all was fair. That afternoon, two souls would join the five that had shredded her own. She would grant them a quick and painless death, and go on with the rest of the plan. 

And so, she snapped the men’s necks and laid them on the floor. She closed their eyes and prayed to whatever higher power that was out there to forgive their trespasses, granting them safe passage into the afterlife. There wasn’t much she believed in anymore, but she needed to believe that at least the innocent made their way to something better. 

With those men out of the way, Rosalie could finally accomplish what she had to do. It’s showtime, she told herself. No turning back now. 

The door wasn’t locked, only put together to give Royce the semblance of security. Not that it would have mattered. Supernatural strength and speed allowed it not to matter. Without even knowing it, Royce had written his death sentence the second he had left her for dead. 

“No. No. No. No,” she heard him mutter. “It’s not my fault. It’s not. I didn’t do it.” 

Delirium. Truly perfect. 

“Honey,” she smiled as she burst through the door, making the entire building tremble under her strength. “I’m home.” 

“No, God, please,” Royce cried as he cowered in a corner, his eyes growing as big as saucers at the vision before him. Locked inside that room, he had felt he had started to go crazy. Hidden in the shadows lived the person that had haunted his friends and was haunting him now. He knew whoever it had been was bidding his time, waiting for the right moment to strike. What he had not expected was to see her. “How are you here? How are you showing her to me?” 

“I am not a mirage, dear Royce,” Rosalie said, smoothing down her gown. It dragged behind her as she walked, the sound of the fabric swishing on the ground mixing beautifully with the sound of his racing heart. “I am actually here. Standing before you as I would have months ago.” 

“But you died… I mean, you had to have died.” 

“Oh, I did,” Rosalie sighed. She crossed the room elegantly, taking in how it had been transformed. An elegant bed was pressed against one of the walls, the sheets perfectly done as though no one had ever dared sleep on them. Truly, the entire place had been decorated to portray a luxury suite, like the ones in the many hotels the King family frequented. Beautiful and expensive. Much like the armchair she sat on to face the man directly. “You see, I stand before you today completely dead. Well… technically undead. I’m living, but I’m not alive, Royce. I’m what you might call a vampire now.”

“That’s not… no. That’s not possible!” Royce exclaimed, trembling. The bottle he held in his hands spilled with every shake of his limbs, soaking his shirt. “You’re a ghost. The same one that’s been haunting me for months.”

“I know you wish that were true, Royce. Because maybe then I wouldn’t be able to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” he said as he cowered deeper into the corner of the room. “Why would you hurt me?” 

“Oh, Royce. I knew you weren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but I didn’t think you’d be this cretinous,” she scoffed. “Do you really think I’m here just to say goodbye? Darling, I’m here to do so much worse. I’ve already started, actually.” 

“W-what do you mean?”

“Well, I’m sure you can feel the way your heart is racing, how your skin has gotten clammy, and how your brain is all delirious. That was a little gift from me,” she grinned devilishly, examining the perfection of her cuticles. “I know how you can’t resist a glass of whiskey no matter the time of day, and I knew you had a few scheduled shipments of bottles. So, with the help of a beautiful blue flower and absentminded delivery boys, I was able to slip some deadly nightshade into those bottles. Hence, the reaction from your body and your delusions.” 

“You poisoned me? How could you, Rosalie? I don’t deserve this.” 

  “Oh no, you don’t get to speak my name,” Rosalie spat. In a matter of a second, she had killed any distance between them  “My name is the only thing you will never have possession of. Not anymore. And to think you have the audacity to question what you deserve.”

“But I don’t, R… I don’t deserve this,” he cried as the girl balled his shirt in her hands. “I made one mistake.” 

“What you and your friends did was no mistake, Royce. It was a deliberate and brutal robbery of my innocence, of my life. It was a testament to your true character and the monster that lay beneath sheep’s clothing,” she seethed. “The worst part of it all is that I would have lived with your sins had you simply given me the life I had dreamed of. I would have let you drink until your belly was full of nothing but liquor and beer. I would have let you cheat as long as you came home to me. I would have let you take everything as long as I had my children to care for. And what a waste of a life that would have been.” 

Fat tears fell from the man’s eyes, connecting with the slobber of boogers that escaped his nose, and it disgusted Rosalie to be so close to him. But it was the dangerously fast pace of his heart that thrilled her. It was the perspiration on his skin that edged her on. It was the unnatural dilation of his pupils that made her want to dance in victory. 

She knew he was in pain. She knew that his body wanted nothing more than to reject the poison of the deadly nightshade, but it would never be able to. Not while she was there, witnessing the demise of the worst kind of monster. 

Royce pleaded under his breath, trying to appeal to the human side of Rosalie without understanding that the part he was begging to had died that night. The humanity left inside her dwindled as she stared at the pitiful man. She couldn’t imagine a world where she had ended up with him. At least, for that, she was grateful. 

“You‘ll never find love,” Royce suddenly spat, a sudden rage boiling inside him, giving him enough energy to yell at her. “Not as the abomination that you are.”

“And what is that, Royce?” She said through gritted teeth. “Because the person I thought I loved was you.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he barked.  “Don’t think I don’t know about your inclinations. I saw you with my own eyes.” 

“Whatever you think you might have seen will go with you in death. At least you’ll have that memory then to keep you company.” 

“The title of murderer is less vile than the other name. You’re lucky I took pity on you and showed you what you were missing out on.”

“Pity? You took pity on me?” Rosalie took hold of his shirt, lifting him from the ground as though he weighed no more than a dress. “You destroyed me. You defiled me. You took my life. Whatever it is that you think you may know about me did not give you the right to do any of that.”

“I saved you first from a lifetime of embarrassment,” Royce choked, his voice trembling as fear overtook him. “Your lifestyle would have gotten you killed regardless.”

“The only lifestyle that killed me was the one where I chose you,” she spat. “You did this to me, Royce. And now you have to pay.”

She let him drop to the ground to cower into the corner. One second, the man was back to crying and begging. The next, he was clutching at his chest and groaning in pain. “Please stop this,” he groaned. His heart had started running at a desperate pace, trying its best to pump blood to his body. But his arteries were contracting as the seconds passed, and his body would start shutting down soon after. “I know you can. Just please, I promise I’ll be better. Just give me a chance.”

“You had a chance, Royce. This life. This was your chance, and you wasted it. You decided to use your one chance to be a despicable man —driven by your greediness and your ego. You could have led a long and beautiful life,  but you weren’t satisfied. You wanted more and more until there was nothing left to take. Now, you won’t take anything from anyone else.” 

“Please,” he sobbed, but his words came out slurred as the poison kept rushing through his bloodstream. A rash had started peeking through his clothes, burning it way through his skin. He couldn’t choose between scratching at the patches or clutching at his chest, his entire body quickly starting to betray him. “I don’t wanna die.”

“Funny,” she laughed. “I didn’t either.”

Royce didn’t take long to deteriorate. His body was already weak from a diet of fear and whiskey—and the lethal amount of nightshade that she had injected in the bottles. He had gravitated onto his bed, barely hanging on to the little life that was left in him. His lungs wheezed and his skin reddened, his limbs spasmed and his lips trembled, and his eyes never left hers. 

And she stared back. 

“Soon enough, you will stop breathing,” she sighed. “I’m sure you can barely feel your arms and your legs. Just like I know you’re trying your hardest to take in a single breath. Isn’t it terrifying? To lay there and feel your life slipping through your fingers, all because someone else decided that you weren’t worthy of your own life.” 

“P… ple… please,” he managed to croak out. Tears stained his face, mixing with the sweat on his skin. “H-h-help… m-me.” 

“It’s too late, Royce,” she smiled deviously. “Don’t you get it by now? You are dying today. You will lay there and suffer and beg. And then, you will die. Not because it’s justice for what you did to me. But because no one else in this Earth will ever have to meet a monster like you. And I will stay and watch until you take your last breath.”

And so, he begged. Royce begged until the lack of oxygen forced his eyes shut. 

And Rosalie watched. She watched until he took his last, wheezing breath. 

Once she could not hear his heart beating anymore, she spared him one last close-up glance. She stood over him and looked over his corpse, wondering who it would be that would find his body. What would they think happened? The easiest explanation would be a heart attack, but the bodies in front of the vault would paint a different story. It wasn’t because she was worried she’d be caught –there was no way she ever would be– but rather because she wondered what plot would be spun to glorify Royce’s life and condemn his killer. And she was absolutely certain they would never believe a woman had been the one to kill him, let alone the other six men. 

“Rot in hell, Royce,” Rosalie whispered against his ear. “Say hi to your friends for me.” 

The girl thought she had merely spent an hour or two inside the bank, but as she slipped back into the alley, she noticed that the morning had come and gone, and the moon had started to peek its way out on the horizon. She quickly changed out of the wedding dress, ripping it from her skin as if it was suffocating her. Her lungs ached for a breath they didn’t need as something deep inside her snapped. It seemed that Esme had been right. Killing Royce didn’t make her feel better, but it had satiated her conscience. He could not hurt anyone else. 

Rosalie placed a hat on her head to conceal her face as she walked through the barely crowded streets of her home. Whispers on the street spoke of the demented killer that had taken the lives of four young men. Even if it had been a while since he had killed, everyone knew he was still out there. She had expected that much. The fear of the unknown was enough to rattle an entire town, and after Royce, it would be the only topic on everyone’s tongues for a long time. 

What she had not expected was to come face to face with a picture of herself. 

Taped to a lamp post was her last photograph taken with the words MISSING in bold on top of it. Under, a brief description of who she had been was printed, her family calling for any information regarding the whereabouts of their daughter. But that didn’t strike her as odd. She knew her family would be worried—had been worried for months. 

No. It was the small message posted under her family’s plea that made her stop in her tracks, a sudden wave of sadness numbing her limbs. She ran her pale fingers over the withered paper as though she could hear the voice if she touched the words. 

Please help bring our Rosie home, the message read. There are people here who love her more than sunflowers love the sun. 

There was no need for a signature for Rosalie to know exactly who’d had that message printed. She ripped the message from the page, folding it into the bag she had buried the wedding dress in, careful not to wrinkle the paper. 

Her heart wrenched inside her chest as she remembered the last time she had seen this person. The last time she ever would.

Only a week before her wedding, Vera had told her how much she wished Rosalie a long and happy life. As the blonde carried Henry in her arms, her friend placed a soft hand into hers, squeezing comfortingly as she smiled. 

“You deserve happiness, Rosie,” she had said that afternoon. “I just wish…”

“There’s no point in wishing,” Rosalie sighed, her eyes transfixed by the baby in her arms. She had been afraid to look Vera in the eyes —the beautiful gemstone eyes she had adored. “You have your family. And I’m on track to have mine. It is all we ever dreamed of.” 

“But it was supposed to look like this,” Vera had sighed. “Not quite like how it really is.” 

“We knew from the start that it would end this way, V. This is just the world we live in. At least this way, we can still be in each other’s lives.” 

“Even with all your high-class parties and important people to attend?” she had joked. “You really think you’ll have time for me.” 

“Always,” Rosalie had smiled. “Forever.”

“Really? You mean that?”

“Does a sunflower love the sun?”

Now, she had all the time in the world. So much time it could never run out. But there was not a second more she would be able to spend with Vera or with Henry. She’d never again brush away the little boy’s dark curls as they fell in front of his eyes. She’d never again hear Vera calling her name as she laughed. She’d never have everything she wanted —anyone she wanted. 

After what felt like a lifetime of staring at her own face, Rosalie straightened out her dress and made her way back to the Cullen residence as though nothing had happened. She cleared her mind of all thoughts about her best friend and walked inside, ready to shut herself in her room until it was time to feed. 

“You really did it, huh?” Edward taunted. “You really went through with it.”

“Please spare me the mocking tonight, Edward,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “My patience is wearing quite thin, and there’s no telling if I might snap. I have heard that us newborns have a tendency to be twitchy and rather strong.” 

“You’re such a…”

“That’s quite enough, Edward,” Esme interjected before he could go any further. “Leave your judgment inside your head.”

Edward muttered a complaint as he disappeared into the backyard, acting as a teenager reprimanded by their mother. Which, in a sense, he was. 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Rosalie,” the woman smiled. “I hope that whatever happened today and all those months before brought you some type of solace. I know it will never be enough, but I hope it’s a start.”

“I hope so, too.”  

But she knew her heart would need much more mending than only a few deaths. 

That night, she had pulled out the message from her bag alongside a picture she had managed to take with her of Vera and her in their class banquet. They had worn beautiful gowns and were smiling from ear to ear as they danced together. It was a memory she would carry for the rest of her life. But, then, she had laid in the bed she did not need, pressing the picture and the message close to her chest, and closed her eyes to pretend she could dream she was back there.

Next ->

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[dylawas-reblogs]

My sperm donor, literally the first chance he gets to see me as soon as he's back: So what's the update on the job hunting? Me:

Me: I am fine and normal

Also me: not getting hired anywhere despite having a degree and I turn 26 next year so I need insurance

Also also me: wildly depressed due to said lack of job hunting success and abusive father's lack of understanding

Also also also me: still stuck living in abusive parent's house, again, due to said lack of full time work

Also also also also me: constantly drowning in tasks beyond work and no longer know how to relax

Also also also also ALSO me: just dodged getting COVID from my mother two weeks ago by fleeing her house, but now my older brother has COVID and there's nowhere for me to go

Also also also also also ALSO ME: All plans to treat myself since abusive father isn't in the country are canceled due to brother's COVID and my potential exposure

ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ME: STAYED UP FOR TWO HOURS PAST MIDNIGHT TROUBLESHOOTING WIFI BECAUSE THE ISP SAID THERE WERE NO OUTAGES AND I NEED WIFI TO WORK FROM HOME, ONLY FOR THE ISP TO ANNOUNCE AN OUTAGE ONLY AFTER I CALL MY ABUSIVE PARENT ON VACATION

Me: I AM FINE AND NORMAL I AM FINE AND NORMAL

[merthosus]

Bully

Summary: Rick had a long day and, everybody knew, if his day was bad, he will do everything, that yours will be too. But making fun of your body was just too much.

I am back again on track guys!So send me things I can write, COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN AGAIN!!!

"Walk faster fatty, I don't want to look at you that long"

Rick paid you as much as a senior doctor in Switzerland, but despite the high salary, it wasn't enough to compensate for his constant insults. You put up with them, day after day, but today you were more sensitive than usual.

You didn't know why yourself, maybe it was the weather. Every time something wasn't right, you blamed it on the weather, Rick didn't like that at all, he would explain to you for hours how the weather couldn't affect people's emotions.

“Rick?” you ask, looking at him. He's sitting on the sofa, both his arms wide open and his upper body pressed into the couch. “Yessss…” he groans when he hears your voice.

He lets his head fall back. “I'm done with the brain cell decelerator, can you take a look at it?” you ask him. His head bobs up. Sometimes you ask me why you took the job in the first place. But the five-digit number that appeared on your bank account at the end of each month told me why.

“You can see I'm busy right now, can't you?” he asks me. You look at him and then at the TV, which is enjoying his full attention. “Please Rick, I've been watching it all day…” I try to explain. “Get away from the tv, now. You're getting on my nerves!” says Rick, annoyed.

I look out of the window and see nothing but darkness, I try to distract myself with something so I don't shout at him. “It would be really nice if you could just find two minutes for me to finish my…”; before I can finish my sentence, he interrupts me.

“Walk faster fatty, I don't want to look at you that long,” he says.

Your breath catches, and for a moment, you think you must have misheard him. But there he is, sprawled out on the couch, that arrogant smirk on his face, not even sparing you a glance as his eyes stay glued to the damned TV. His words echo in your head, heavy as lead, and you feel the familiar wave of insecurity crashing over you.

You’ve always felt uncomfortable in your body. You’d learned to fake the smiles, to use humor as armor, to brush off the small stings of insensitive remarks like they didn’t bother you. But this… this wasn’t small. This was Rick, the man you spent countless hours working for, tolerating his abuse, trying to impress despite knowing it was probably futile. And now, he’d said the one thing he knew would cut the deepest.

You swallow hard, the lump in your throat burning. Your hands curl into fists at your sides, but your voice comes out quiet, trembling. “You didn’t need to say that.”

Rick finally looks at you, tilting his head as if you’re some fascinating, irritating puzzle he can’t quite figure out. “Oh, what? Did I hurt your feelings? Geez, I thought you science types were supposed to have thick skin.” He chuckles at his own awful pun, his lack of self-awareness somehow making it worse.

The ache in your chest twists into something sharper—anger. “You knew exactly what you were doing, Rick,” you say, louder this time, your voice firm despite the sting in your eyes. “You know how I feel about my body, and you said it anyway. Why? Just get me off your view?”

He scoffs, waving his hand dismissively. “Oh, come on, don’t be so dramatic. I’m not your therapist, alright? I’m your boss. You think I have time to tiptoe around your feelings when we’re dealing with the universe here? Get over it.”

You stare at him, your heart sinking further with every word. His dismissive tone, his refusal to acknowledge how much his comment hurt—it’s like a punch to the gut. Without another word, you turn on your heel and head out of the living room. Rick doesn’t stop you, doesn’t call after you. It’s like you don’t even exist to him unless you’re useful.

The garage is cold, cluttered, and familiar. It’s where you’ve spent countless hours working on Rick’s insane inventions, deciphering his erratic notes, and trying to prove your worth to someone who never seems to care. You sit at the workbench and stare at the brain cell decelerator, your vision blurring with tears you refuse to let fall.

Why do you stay? You know the answer. The money, sure—but it’s not just that. There’s something about Rick, some spark of brilliance buried beneath the insults and the chaos, that makes you want to stick around. Maybe you’re a fool for thinking he sees anything in you beyond a tool to get his work done. Maybe that’s all you’ll ever be.

As you tighten a loose wire on the device, you hear the creak of the garage door opening behind you. You don’t look up. The last thing you want is to see his smug face.

“Hey,” Rick says, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

You don’t answer. Instead, you focus on the decelerator, twisting a screw into place with more force than necessary.

He sighs, a long, exaggerated sound like this is somehow hard for him. “Look, I didn’t mean to—ugh, shit—hurt your feelings or whatever.”

You pause, your hand stilling over the screwdriver. That’s the closest thing to an apology you’ve ever gotten from him. Slowly, you turn to face him. “You think that’s enough, Rick? After what you said?”

He winces, scratching the back of his neck. “No, it’s not enough. But, uh... I’m not great at this whole ‘feelings’ thing, alright? I say dumb crap sometimes. Most of the time.” His gaze darts to the floor, then back to you, and for once, there’s no smugness, no condescension. Just... Rick.

“You’re not just some—you know—assistant or whatever to me,” he continues, his words halting and awkward. “You’re... important. To me. And not just ‘cause you’re good at fixing my shit. I mean, you are, but that’s not the point.”

Your heart twists painfully at his stumbling attempt to make things right. “Then why did you say it? You know how I feel about... me.”

He steps closer, his hands shoved deep into his lab coat pockets. “Because I’m an asshole, alright? That’s my default setting. But I didn’t mean it. I don’t see you like that. Hell, if anything, you’re—you’re better than me. Smarter, kinder, less of a jackass. I don’t deserve you hanging around me all the time.”

You blink at him, stunned. Rick Sanchez, the self-proclaimed smartest man in the universe, admitting he’s wrong? Saying he doesn’t deserve you?

Rick shifts uncomfortably, his gaze flickering from the floor to your eyes. There's an edge of vulnerability in his voice, something that doesn't quite fit with the persona he usually wears so proudly. “And, uh... I guess I don’t always know how to say the right thing, but, you know... your body—” He hesitates, as if the words are foreign to him, like they don’t quite belong in his vocabulary.

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of where this is going, but curious nonetheless. “What about it?” you ask, trying to mask the uncertainty in your voice.

He bites his lip, running a hand through his hair in frustration before continuing. “I’ve—look, I’ve noticed, alright? You’ve got this... this perfect, goddamn body. Every time I look at you, it’s like... I don’t know, it’s like I can’t even concentrate. But I mess it up, I know. I always do. I just... don’t always know how to... handle it.”

You can’t help the surprise that flashes across your face, his words so unlike the insults he’s always thrown your way. The way he speaks now, almost like he's struggling with some unfamiliar emotion, it catches you off guard.

"Rick, you're... you're not serious," you murmur, still processing what he’s said. "You’ve always... always put me down."

Rick looks at you, frustration mixed with something deeper flickering in his eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m trying to fix that, alright? It’s just... I can’t keep pretending like you’re not... perfect. I don’t know why I keep doing it, but I guess it’s because I don’t know what to do with someone like you.” His words are laced with an honesty that makes your heart race, something raw that you’ve never heard from him before.

You take a step closer, suddenly feeling the air between you crackle with tension. It’s so strange, this shift in him, this softness you never expected from someone like Rick Sanchez.

He exhales sharply, his voice growing quieter. “You’re everything I could ever want, you know? But you’re also the last person I’d expect to be interested in someone like me. So, I get defensive... I act like an idiot. I try to keep you at arm's length.”

Before you can respond, Rick moves toward you, closing the distance in a few short steps. His hands, trembling slightly, reach out to gently cup your face, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver down your spine. “I don’t want to hurt you. But I think you deserve to know that... you’re perfect. Your body... the way you move, the way you look at me... it drives me crazy. But in a good way. It always has.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and vulnerable, and for the first time, you see him—really see him—as someone who’s just as imperfect, just as flawed, as you are.

Without thinking, you lean into him, your lips brushing against his in a soft, tentative kiss. The world fades around you, and in that moment, it’s just the two of you—finally connecting in a way that feels honest, without the layers of sarcasm, without the walls he’s always built around himself.

Rick pulls back slightly, his breathing ragged, as he looks into your eyes with something almost tender in his gaze. His lips curl into something resembling a smile, but it's filled with an emotion you’ve never seen before. “Yeah... that’s what I wanted to say,” he mutters, his voice low and husky.

Hope you liked it!

[pirateprincessblog]

congrats on 3k, barbz! you deserve it <33

sneak peaks:

🩰 moodboard pls hehe

~

guess the plot:

"i am guessing a moodboard" (what can i say, i'm a moodboard girlie)

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who is pirateprincessblog?

3, 11, 14

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quickie

okay a short imagine, i would love to read a good domestic setting yunho. there's plenty out there, but i eat up every one of them! you can decide the rest, just husband!yunho pls hehe

Thank you Yumi!! 🩷🩷

Had to put a keep reading here lol sorry <33

sneak peaks:

guess the plot:

oh, I feel like you’ll like this one:

who is pirateprincessblog?

3. fandoms other than atiny?

I'm a big big fan of the walking dead, the witcher(henry <33), harry potter, and game of thrones/hotd universe.

11. a movie/book/tv show character i’d like to switch places with?

It'd be fun to switch places with Yennefer because not only will I be a hot and a badass witch but I will also have a sexy grumpy witcher who has heart eyes just for me by my side. :) Also it'd be fun to switch places with Michonne in twd. Don't ask why.

14. tell me your favourite recipe

This is the easiest thing I can make, and I love cooking and I do it often, but sometimes I get bored of these complicated or basic recipes that I crave this unhealthy pasta. You either hate it or love it. I myself am so fixated on it, and my husband hates it.

I cook mini elbow pasta al dente, and while it cooks, I chop up pickles, bologna(not sliced), gouda cheese and boiled eggs in small cubes, then add a can of sweet corn, and when the pasta is cooked, I add two spoon-fulls of mayo, bit of salt and nutmeg. It's supposed to be served as a salad or a side, and it is a german recipe, but I just eat it as it is and have no problem destroying a full pot in fifteen minutes. :)

quickie

everybody had told you that dating an idol is the hardest thing to do. then, they told you that marrying one would be it. everyone knew better than you, and tried to talk you out of continuing the difficult relationship. you didn't listen, because it wasn't hard. nothing was hard with yunho.

except one thing.

looking at tiktoks and reels of him flirting with fans, taking all sorts of photos, serenading them, your smile began to fall. that was the hardest thing. you knew he was doing his job. you knew that after all that, he would come home to you, and be yours and yours only. yet you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy and insecurity as you watch pretty faces sit in front of him every day and all day. from fans to other idols, and even staff.

when yunho arrives home in the evening, it is anything but quiet. he stumbles inside the living room, eyes frantically searching for yours. you haven't been answering your phone since morning, and he was worried sick, almost shaking with anticipation and eyes glued to whichever clock he could find in the rooms.

"love?"

you raise your head from the couch pillow at his voice, leaving a wet patch where you buried your sobs and misery. suddenly, everything seems to be in yunho's way. the sofa, the coffee table, the remote on the floor on which he steps and hisses with pain. finally, he reaches you, hands cupping teary cheeks and plush lips leaving a gentle kiss on the red nose. you burst into sobs again, overwhelmed by the rush of emotions.

"oh, my pretty wife." his thumbs wipe the tears away. "who do i need to beat?"

"that's gonna be quite a number," you mumble.

"did you..." he tilts his head, looking at you. something is different. "did you dye your hair?"

sniffing, you nod. "and got my nails done."

"and that's a new style of makeup. you never do you liner or blush like that." he notices.

when you look at him wide and teary eyed, yunho's heart breaks a little. behind the glossy eyes he sees hopelessness and despair, and he has made it worse somehow. "do you not like it?"

"like it? i love it! you look so pretty, i could just put you on a shelf and look at you all day long."

"really?" a glint is visible in your eyes, and yunho sighs with relief. "you really think so?"

"of course. my hot and pretty wife just became hotter and prettier."

years of dating and months of marriage, and you still blush furiously under his loving gaze and crumble under his compliments. "sorry for not answering the phone."

"i'll accept that apology only if you tell me what's going on."

you can't hide things from yunho. you promised to each other to always say what's on your mind instead of bottling up and exploding every once in a while, until eventually your marriage explodes too. and so far, you both kept your promise. but recently, you are starting to feel like you are boring him with your insecurities. so you kept it to yourself. and now? you are exploding.

you tell him everything: the flirting and all with the fans, the way other idols make you feel insecure, and how you can't keep up with them, the way you see him way less than anyone else and that spending less time with you and more with other idols will make him realize that he can do better-

"stop."

"and they're all so talented, too. you have so much in common like dancing, singing-"

"stop."

"they're so cutesy and mannered that i feel like a child or something compared to them-"

finding no other way to stop your rambling, your husband presses his lips against yours, hands still cupping your cheeks as fresh tears coat them. your body relaxed in his arms, and whatever words or thoughts you had left, they are washed away with yunho's gentle nibble to your bottom lip. once you've calmed, he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours.

"please don't do that to yourself. or to me. don't make me feel guilty about doing my job."

"no, i don't mean it like that-"

"i know. but try to understand me as well." his thumb rubs soothing circles on your rosy cheeks. "when i look at all those faces, i see either a coworker or a fan. i don't see anything deeper. you're on my mind from the moment i step foot into those places to the moment i come back and see you. what you see in those videos is not a real picture. you, my wife, are the real picture to me."

and now the real tears start. and yunho's eyes widen.

"no, no!" he panics.

"it's okay," you assure, laughing through tears. "i'm okay."

"you're crying again!"

"these are emotional tears, yunnie. you made me cry from joy."

he sighs with relief. he can't help the urge to playfully pinch your cheek, earning a squeal from you. "my silly wife."

"oh shut up."