#which is why i hoard loose draft papers

[fayethefae]

love (read: hate) how i cant do anything until i make my List of things to do and then Breakdown of each individual task on that List and then arrange them in the Order i should do them in like is this normal it feels like everyone else is able to just do Tasks

[callipraxia]

okay I’m here to thank you. Do you remember that post from like a Long Time Ago where you talked about what inks you used to plan/outline fwjb on paper? well, a few days after I heard about that, I went to the nearest store and bought the shittiest composition notebook and highlighters you’ve ever fucking seen in your life. then I forgot about it for like a very, Very long time. that's important context.

I suddenly remember it existed three days ago. I picked it up, decorated it, and colored two full pages of marker because. because well why not. The first couple pages are soaked in ink my bad. anyways—I finally decided to start actually WRITING in it, in PENCIL, because while actual writing notebooks would be a lot better than a Fucking Composition Notebook, I’m pinched. so. I did that. and guess what?!? it helped! it fucking helped! my weird ass outlines On Paper! I figured out a WHOLE Three Act Structure for do you remember hanging up the stars, AND have begun loosely sorting all of the POVs I have in the search for future reference. like?!? oh god it’s so helpful to have something I can Look At. very shitty picture attached (ignore the gagging mess of handwriting, never grew out of third grade cursive hybrid lettering, you might not even be able to read it--) (this is for the stars)

so… thank you! this was very helpful and that wasn’t your intention with the post but fuck all I Listened. you’ve got organized writing a lot more than I do, lol. will possibly take More Notes in the future…! :)

oh Wow now im getting feelings from showing off my handwriting to a public for the first time. hopefully this doesnt unlock and unbridled the terrible ordeal of being known anxiety! /lh

Ooh, cool! And your handwriting’s quite nice and very legible, so don’t be anxiety about it!

Composition books are also perfectly valid forms of writing notebook. I’m writing the first draft of Tracey’s journal in one, actually, because that’s the kind of notebook he’s writing in in-universe, and the McGucket memoir’s on a purple legal pad. The FWJB outlines and notes, meanwhile, were written mostly on loose sheets of printer paper, gathered into a folder (which proved invaluable as a supplement for my memory, which went into full leaky-faucet mode for a while halfway or so through IE cos COVID/2022 being Just The Worst Year). Most of my one-shots are written in my tiniest handwriting on bits of scrap paper, including a number of those alignment sheets the printer spits out when you plug it in. As much as I love good-quality notebooks, they aren’t always the right tool for the job…especially if you just hoard them and never deem any idea good enough to ‘waste’ them on (I’m convinced that getting the FWJB notebooks on clearance sale was directly tied psychologically to my willingness to actually use them, somehow or the other).

[mithrilwren]

Initial Nightingale Notes

More Only the Nightingale Sings bonus content! This time, my very first batch of planning notes, which I scribbled down at work sometime in late January 2019, and some reminiscing on how this story came to be. (It’s a LONG post lol)

So, the idea for Nightingale came from a few different sources smushed together. For context, the first episode of CR I ever watched live was Episode 48, on Jan 17 2019. The episode that followed aired on Jan 24, where the gang eventually finds the tunnels to Xhorhas. 

Source 1: I spent most of that episode FULLY convinced Yeza was taken by the Assembly and very confused why the Nein were suddenly going to Xhorhas. I understood after the fact, but I confess I was a little disappointed - I wanted to go to Rexxentrum!  

Source 2: Because the party immediately headed to Xhorhas after finding the tunnels, the internal debate Caleb was having in Felderwin (about whether or not to run away) never got resolved - he basically had no choice but to follow the group, because there was no leaving once they entered the tunnel. I was very interested in that internal conflict (that then became a reoccuring theme in Nightingale) and wished we’d got a chance to see Caleb actually make that decision in canon.

Source 3: I read through a list of angst prompts a while beforehand and came across “Villainous Rescue”. My immediate thought was “oh, wouldn’t it be fun if the Nein were rescued from dire straights by Ikithon”, but never found a suitable premise to pair it with

All three of these ideas coalesced into what would become Nightingale. Sometime in the week between Jan 24 and Feb 2 (when I started the rough draft of Chapter 1) I stole a meeting room at work and started scribbling. The two yellow pages I did in the morning, hoping I could put it out of my mind, but by the afternoon I was totally unfocused on my actual job and decided to spend another half-hour brainstorming. (Hence why the paper changed - I probably grabbed a different legal pad from my desk.) 

Looking back at the writing timeline, I basically started this fic only a couple weeks after catching up on the show itself - wild!

The first thing I wrote were, essentially, ‘intake notes’ for the Mighty Nein - the premise being, what would go into the Assembly’s report upon their capture by Ikithon? IIRC, I decided to set the fic itself in the Soltryce Academy because of how many of these notes fell into the category of “magic training/supervision”.

The second was an inventory of settings, based on the aforementioned intake notes. As you can see, I initially had three locations in mind - the casters in the Academy, Nott and Yasha in the “Seat of Government” (aka, a secret Assembly headquarters, loosely affiliated with the actual government), and Beau in the broader city. Even though Nott almost immediately got moved to the broader city, the idea that Yasha (and Yeza) weren’t actually being held in the Academy, but a third Assembly-run location, actually stuck around for a while in my planning. I believe it was somewhere around Chapter 4 that I realized that splitting up the finale between two locations was going to kill the tension of the climax, and decided to move Yeza and Yasha to the Academy as well.

The next set of notes were all about individual characters, as I was trying to flesh out the basics of what they’d be doing in the story. Overall, these notes were closer to the finished product that I was expecting!

“Caleb - Immediately taken off by Trent, who tries to persuade him that he’s realized the errors of how he pushed Bren too hard, and now it’s time he came back to his birthright. Caleb, knowing his survival depends on putting on a show, acquiesces and agrees to become Trent’s protege once again, while looking for a way to get everyone out. He tells Jester through a book that he is being monitored and cannot talk.” - No big changes here!

“Jester - Jester, when pressed, admits to the divine nature of her magic. When asked for her patron, she says *can’t read this word* the Platinum Dragon, This being a segment of the school, she’s sent to work with a group of acolytes and must fake her way through knowledge of the religion. She uses sending to facilitate group communication.” - No big changes here either, though the meat of her plot with Kirn didn’t come to be until I was writing “Lessons”.

“Fjord - Fjord admits truthfully that he doesn’t know where his power comes from. The mistress concludes he must be a sorcerer and has him sent for evaluation. He hides the existence of his hex blades, tries to act as a *can’t read word* with only minor abilities.” - No big changes, but no huge details either, I was pretty unsure of what I wanted to do with Fjord at this point.

“Caduceus - He successfully passes his work off as tribal magic, which fascinates the scholars. He decides this is a good opportunity to get into about his siblings and has long talks with the librarian. The campus gardens are his favourite spot. All in all, he’s trying to make the most of their stay, if that’s where the Mother wills him to be.” - Oh, the delicious irony of that line about the gardens, as the twist that the plants are all dead didn’t come to me until I was writing “Lessons”. 

“Yasha - In the initial assessment, Trent immediately hits on his interest in her initially. He asks her to help him understand Xhorhasian culture. Not betray, he understands loyalty, but just understand. She’s reticent, and eventually transferred to the Conclave headquarters, where she’s “gently” interrogated.” - I think I got Conclave and Assembly mixed up here. Again, we see that third government location mentioned, that never came to be.

“Beau - Attempts to weasel her way into getting them released using Cobalt Soul know how. This fails, but she does get herself ejected (The mistress basically conjectures the Cobalt Soul is trying to hoard resources from the army.) She must either convince the Cobalt Soul to help her (Dairon in Bladegarden?) or use her own political scheming by going to the seat of government to get folks released.” - So, throughout most of the first few chapters of Nightingale, Beau getting Dairon’s help was ABSOLUTELY the plan. But, flash forward a few eps, and surprise, Dairon’s in Xhorhas! Which majorly threw me for a loop at the time, but ended up making for a much stronger arc for Beau as she was forced to do things on her own. 

“Nott - Trent is curious about a goblin travelling w/ the band. After some quick thinking by Beau, they manage to minimize her connection w/ Caleb, saying instead that she’s a runaway from her tribe. “Who are you loyal to?” “The Empire.” She’s taken away with Yasha to the HQ to provide intel. This is a moral choice for her. Sacrifice the Felderyn goblins and get revenge, but potentially aid the empire too much.” - Notice that this is utter nonsense, and bears no resemblance to what actually ended up happening in the fic? Figuring out what to do with Nott was, at various stages, one of the most difficult parts of this process for me. What I was doing here was grasping at straws, trying to figure out a way that she wouldn’t either be immediately killed or held over Caleb’s head upon capture. And honestly, there wasn’t one. There was no scenario in which Nott being captured wouldn’t be immediately disastrous, not in a situation where the Assembly held all the power. Therefore, she couldn’t be captured, and thus Puff of Smoke was born.

[austennerdita2533]

How do you think Rory and Jess are celebrating New Year's? Because they're together, right?! I like to think they are by now!

I’d like to believe they’re together, too! In fact, I’d like to believe it so much that I wrote a thing about it…a oneshot, if you will. The damn thing just poured out of me yesterday. I don’t know what happened, but there was no stopping it lol. Sorry not sorry.

(A03) (FF.net)

Happy New Year, my lovely friend! Here’s some post-revival Literati for you to start off 2019 right. 💗

xx Ashlee Bree

Like A Calendar, The Heart Skips Forward

With drunken crowds, ugly tinsel streamers which hang in windows, and snow that’s beginning to stick to the city streets in inches as deterrents, they decide to spend the night in. At home.

The baby’s with her grandparents tonight, probably high on too much sugar and Dr. Seuss. Knowing Luke, he’s likely baby proofing everything again to be safe while Lorelai’s using scary voices so her granddaughter never goes near the stove (but hey, neither did Rory, and she’s turned out fine, hasn’t she?), so she and Jess have plenty of time to themselves. That’s a rarity these days, especially with a toddler in the picture. Alone time seems possible only at ungodly hours in the morning anymore, or during nap time, or in stolen minutes between hectic work schedules. So they’re grateful to Mom and Luke for the offer to babysit every now and again. And they love to do it, to spoil her little angel rotten with small town affection and attention. All the people of Stars Hollow love it, too.

As for Rory and Jess, they enjoy these adult-only nights. It’s a time to revel in intellect, in intimacy.

They love to tune into the timbre of the other’s conversation and fade into each new day talking, listening. It’s exhilarating to them to share new ideas. To uncover deeper feelings in their relationship, but also for them to reach further into the world to figure out what more they can do. Experience. Be.

Parties hold no charms for them this evening. Neither do bars or over-priced concert tickets. Invites from friends go unanswered because they forget to read their messages. They’re more than content to spend the night far away from the end-of-the-year bombast, anyway, with nothing but each other and the hum of this ratty old radiator for company.

They live in an old building so it’s no one’s fault when a malfunction occurs, as one often does.

Luckily, the heat works fine thanks to Jess and his patient tinkering. (Rory never says it out loud, but she swears he’s inherited this from Luke.) Countless hours he spends bent over tools with a concentrative crease in his forehead because their super, Mel, is a slovenly middle-aged coot who binges too much Netflix and refuses to answer knocks on his door from any of his tenants past 9 P.M. Mel likes to blame this incompetence on narcolepsy, but truthfully, it’s because the couch has molded to his prone body by that point, the television playing episode after episode of Frasier or The West Wing, so why trouble himself to move? Better yet, why not put his ringer on silent and ignore all the incoming calls he receives?

(Spoiler alert: he does.)

Encountering one of the Seven Deadly Sins in an actual person still seems a little ridiculous to Rory, borderline unlikely here; especially in a city teeming full of worker bees who supposedly never sleep, but they’ve managed well enough with the radiator on their own. And by well, she means she’s prone to kicking the darn thing any time it roars like it’s a beast straight out of Kevin McCallister’s nightmares in Home Alone.

It’s cozy and comfortable in the apartment tonight, however. Just the way they like it.

That means Rory’s in her favorite pair of slippers, big cumbersome things with floppy ears and shaggy puppy faces curiously similar to Paul Anka’s. Her hair’s loose, fallen past her shoulders, and her arms are stuffed into an oversized Cashmere sweater. Meanwhile, her boyfriend’s walking around barefoot, half-naked in a pair of boxer briefs and a green v-neck tee, his jeans in a ball near the door, seemingly impervious to the December weather.

Is he secretly a werewolf or something, she wonders? An alien? Or just some weirdo who sweats when it’s only sixteen degrees outside, a furnace for girls like her who huddle closer for warmth and never utter a word of complaint?

Music plays low in the background. It’s a playlist curated on one of their phones. Songs from Bjork, the Clash, the Distillers, so many other new and old bands - their favorites - add to the ambiance of this eclectic space they call home.

A half-edited manuscript perches on the edge of the coffee table. Its pages are blotted with black ink and arrowed notes that spill wide into the margins because Jess had spent the morning editing his latest draft, unsatisfied because his characters aren’t where he wants them to be yet. Books litter the kitchen counter. They sit scattered across the floor in organized piles near shelves that are already overflowing, some still stuffed in paper bags because they’d pilfered a thrift shop earlier and now can find nowhere to store the bulky bastards. (Typical for a pair of bookworms who will never have enough reading material between them.)

Appointment reminders and cute little post-it notes stick to the refrigerator in an array of colors. Most are in Rory’s hand, flourished in cursive or silliness, except for the few Jess added by famous authors or musicians because the words moved him; or because he thought they’d start her day with a pretty thought. A smile. A laugh that’d brighten the blue of her eyes.

The living area’s a messy snapshot of their family life with its stench of stale coffee, cologne, and baby lotion. There’s a jacket thrown over the arm of a plush designer sofa and way too many half-empty boxes of Pop Tarts fighting for space in the cupboard with jars of smooth peanut butter and pureed carrots. A laundry basket holds many of the little one’s toys: choo-choo trains, baby dolls, a Batmobile, three sets of ABC blocks, a Wonder Woman figurine, and a stuffed robot aptly named Bee-Doo.

The remote control is always lost somewhere unknown. They might as well attach a key finder around its middle. Or perhaps they should rip up the floorboards instead - a lá the Tell-Tale Heart - because it never takes less than twenty minutes to find the stupid gadget. Either it’s buried under cushions, kicked under miles of folded clothing or prose, or it’s stuffed beneath pillows with spare kernels of popcorn and pens attached to the buttons. Worse than all of that, though, is how the lost-and-found treasure hunt never seems to diminish their scrolling-for-something-to-watch minutes at all. Not in the slightest!

Later, they order takeout from five of their favorite places. It’s too much food for two people to consume in one meal, but who cares? It’s never stopped her or her mother before, so why start now?

There’s pizza, burgers, Thai, Chinese, and one heaping order from that Indian place she’d found around the corner about a month after they’d moved to Brooklyn. It has the most delicious, pungent food so naturally that leaves Jess scrunching his nose and Rory twinkling appreciatively because he’s caved to her doe-eyed pout for once, her belly and heart happy for getting their way.

“See here, mister: victory is mine! I knew you loved me too much to deny me. Admit it,” she says before pecking him sweetly on the cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says after he pays for the delivery and dumps the bags on the table. “Whatever you say.” He remains noncommittal, but the truth shines in his eyes. “Just don’t complain about the cold when I open all the windows. It’ll take weeks to air out the stink in here—weeks. Probably three.”

“Two.”

“Three,” he fires back.

“Two.”

“Okay, two…maybe.” He brushes hair from her face and lets his fingers linger, then smiles her favorite crooked smile. “If we’re damn lucky, anyway.”

After dinner, they eat cheesecake with a bottle of wine. Ice cream with cones is Jess’s dessert preference usually, but they’re out, so they settle for booze and a tasty variation on dairy to help them compile their to-read lists for 2019. He’s on the left side of the sofa, her on the right. Call it a private, serious exercise. Extra points docked for peeking or flirting.

Such a silly idea it is, really, this hoarding then exchanging of lists. Yet it’s a fun way to pass the hours before midnight. Even more fun when they discover the selections that align, and those that don’t, sending them into a tizzy’d discussion about literature and writers the other still needs to know. Pretty soon, another list follows full of recommended titles Jess thinks she should read in the New Year, and vice versa.

Lane had called them a cute agoraphobic couple once, many years ago, if Rory remembers correctly. And by golly, what a label! If only she were here to see them right now, tangled in warmth and limbs and solitude.

She beams at the memory because that’s what she and Jess were back then. It’s what they still are. It’s who they want to be this New Year’s Eve, and the next…and the next…and for every one after for as long as they can live them like this: in love, happy, and together. They’d live this way forever, if only wishes like this could be granted.

“What I wouldn’t give for a Fairy Godmother right now,” she blurts out without thinking, all wrapped up in blankets and curled tight into his chest. “To have a dash of Disney magic or two in my possession would be supercalifragilistic.”

“Why? You don’t need saving.”

“That’s true.”

“So is it Prince Charming you’re after?” Jess asks with a quirk of the eyebrow.

Frowning, “What kind of girl do you take me for? I’m a feminist.”

“You want to freeze the world like Elsa then, huh? Is that it?”

“No.” Tracing his lips with her forefinger, Rory pauses. Reconsiders. “Well, I mean…only if I got to spend all of that time skating across it with you.”

“You mean falling,” Jess mutters.

“Rude! Read my lips: skating.”

He shrugs then. It’s followed by a smirk. “Impossible things are happening every day…or so it goes.”

Giggling, she shoves him, then covers her mouth with her hands.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re quoting Whitney Houston from Roger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. Who are you?”

“Like you haven’t seen it. Give me a break.”

“Many times,” she says, “but that’s not the point. The point is you’ve given a Gilmore ammunition to mock you for the rest of your life. Hasn’t Luke warned you about this? We’re unapologetic mockers, Mom and I.”

“Jeez, you’re mean,” Jess says with a shake of his head and an affectionate pinch to her side. “I should start calling you Grory.”

“Hey, no fair! I’m no Grinch. No Grendel, either.”

“Pre-coffee, that’s arguable.”

“I demand a re-write,” she says, crossing her arms, determined for her pout to win out for a second time.

“No way,” he replies. “That’s too much work, Green One.”

“Fine. As long as you realize you’re stuck with me regardless.”

“Am I?”

“Aren’t you?” Rory asks like a question that dangles then deflates. Her voice catches with uncertainty. The sound’s worse than the squeal a lobster makes in a boiling pot as she shifts onto her ankles on the sofa to pin him with a wide-eyed look, her heart pounding, mouth drier than Death Valley in the middle of a drought. Color rushes to her cheeks because Jess remains silent before her…because he reaches for the tattered copy of Persuasion that’s perched near his feet so he can underline one of Captain Wentworth’s most famous passages in black ink. I can listen no longer in silence, it reads. You pierce my soul. She knows the quote well. She knows it by heart.

However, it’s not until Jess scribbles down his own line onto the page with some rogue pen he’s found teetering on a shoe with no mate, his hand trembling, the apple in his throat bobbing like it’s been pinched by some invisible force he never saw coming; and it isn’t until he places the book in her lap so she can read what he wrote, that joyful disbelief betrays her. That her tears start flowing and flowing. They cover her face in red-eyed tenderness and devotion.

One look back at him, and she knows he feels the same. The love between them so real and so right, it fills the calendar with fulfillment they no longer wish to live without.

Marry me?

Two words, and the jerk’s a poet. Two words, and it’s only him she sees. Two words, one question, and Rory’s faced with an answer that takes no energy to give at all.

I’d be honored to be the Anne to your Wentworth, she writes back with shaky fingers and a grin so big she can barely see. So yes! Yes! A million times yes!

Wine switches to scotch sooner rather than later after that. Then talking turns to kissing, kissing moves to roving touches without either one of them noticing.

Both hands of the clock reach nearer and nearer to twelve as Rory pauses the movie they weren’t actually watching with a yawn, her sapphire diamond sparkling in the T.V’s muted light. Then she stands to refill their glasses one final time before 2018 ends, slippers scratching against the carpet. Jess wraps his arms around her waist while she pours. He smells of booze and sex and home.

Eyes closed and body rocking, he places a kiss against her arm, her shoulder, her neck, her mouth. He leaves a promise there that tastes of all that awaits them and more.

Together, they watch the snowflakes fall and drift to the fire escape outside their window, a moment of quiet before they pack the rest of the leftovers away so they can head to bed with this year lapsed behind them like another chapter closing. The page turns, and before they know it, December endings become January beginnings. The calendar’s blank and in wait for prose that has yet to be written, both of them looking forward to another 365 days full of learning, laughter, commitment, and so many more family firsts along the way.