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kamaluhkhan · 1 year ago

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all the love we had and lost

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: lots of plot + flashbacks. angst with fluff in betweem. slightly suggestive dialogue/situations but nothing more than the actual show, a guy being pushy about hooking up with reader but nothing happens, mention of injuries and blood throughout, hints of alcoholism, brief mention of dieting (reader is competitive swimmer and deals with certain pressures from that), reader gets her period, takes on too much responsibility and argues with her mother (aka eldest daughter syndrome)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije,

a/n: thank you thank you thank you for so much love on my first conrad fic!! i'm so excited to share the rest of the series, so stay tuned :))

read part one here

the best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in the worse ways. (fredrik backman)

now — summer, age 18

you throw in some extra sprinkles, along with a few more tablespoons of sugar. belly has a huge sweet tooth. it's the night before her birthday, and you're in the kitchen at the fisher's house baking her coconut confetti cupcakes.

born on june 21st — the summer solstice — belly conklin is the definition of a summer child. she's summer, personified: sunshine, sweet tea, sand, and smiles. having missed so many birthday celebrations, you’re determined to make this year special.

you go to the fridge to grab some eggs, and when you close the door, you're startled by the person standing behind it.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, holding a hand to your chest and setting the carton of eggs on the counter. the joy you felt making birthday cupcakes for belly fades away, replaced with a tingling in your chest. you and conrad hadn’t spoken more than three sentences to each other, or even been in the same room alone, since that morning on the beach. as the distance between the two of you grew, so did your frustration at him.

conrad raises his eyebrow at you. he reaches around you into the fridge and pulls out a beer.

"i should be asking you that."

"the oven at my house is broken and your mom said i could come over."

“i’ve heard that one before,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen. you almost can’t believe he brought it up, even if just in a passing, somewhat snarky remark. conrad probably thought you didn’t hear.

these past few weeks, conrad hasn't just been cold towards you — which was a relief as much as it was heart wrenching. he seems more closed off in general, more inclined to spend time with others who hadn't seen him grow up. in fact, you imagine he’s on his way to see nicole now. maybe with her, he can pretend everything is fine. but not with the people in this house, who knew him inside and out.

you would never admit it — if conrad wants to ignore you, you could ignore him just fine — but it was eating you up inside, and it took everything in you not to confront him, to comfort him about whatever he was going through. you’d have arguments when you were kids, but it was nothing a ring pop or tub of cherry jello couldn’t solve. this time is different; the wound is deeper, harder to heal.

you wanted the old conrad back: the sweet boy who cared for you and let you care for him in return.

then — summer, age 14

belly was turning 12, and you wanted to surprise her with homemade cupcakes for breakfast. only, the oven at your house was broken, which meant your intention of baking her birthday treats would have fallen through, if not for susannah’s ever-present generosity.

everyone else was out of the house — you even asked laurel and susannah to take belly shopping to not ruin the surprise. you were decorating the cupcakes when conrad walked in from the deck. his wet hair stuck to his forehead and he was wearing a rash guard, so he probably got back from surfing. he looked paler than usual, even after being in the sun for hours, but you didn’t think much of it at first.

“hey,” he greeted, sounding slightly out of breath. “what are you doing here?”

“the oven at my house is broken, so your mom said i can come over to bake these for belly’s birthday tomorrow.” you gestured at the clumsily decorated treats. the cupcakes had bright pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. you weren’t a professional by any means, but knew that belly would love them.

“but i’m sure she wouldn’t miss one or two, if you wanna try one,” you offered, smiling at conrad.

he smiled back, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “yeah. yeah, let’s do that. i’m just gonna get changed first.”

conrad walked past you, and that’s when you noticed him limping — along with a bloody gash just below his left knee.

you instantly dropped the spatula back into the half-empty frosting bowl.

“connie, what the hell happened?”

“i’m fine,” he answered. “i wiped out, got cut by the fin of my board.” conrad must have noticed your eyes widened with worry because he grabbed your wrist gently, thumb rubbing soothingly on your pulse point. he was bleeding out on the kitchen floor, and there he was, trying to make sure you were okay.

“i’m fine,” he reassured.

the blood dripping down his leg suggested otherwise. years ago conrad would faint at the sight of blood, and though he’d mostly outgrown that, you knew it still made him queasy. you imagined the pain definitely wasn’t making it easier. without another word, you pulled him into the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the bathtub. you washed your hands then sat cross-legged in front of him.

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” he smirked as he watched you gather supplies from the cabinet underneath the sink, your brows furrowed in concentration.

“what?” you paused, almost laughing. until you saw his wound again, and you got back to work.

“it’s from the hunger games,” he explained. “when katniss finds peeta in the arena? and he’s all, like, injured.”

“well, he was definitely in worse shape than you,” you assured. “your cut’s not that deep, it just looks bad.”

“it doesn’t feel great, either.”

conrad exhaled sharply when you started applying pressure to his leg with a damp washcloth. you placed your other hand on his right knee.

“it’ll be fine, connie. i’ve got you. keep your eyes on me, okay?”

he looked down at you, wet hair framing his face as he offered a short nod.

you gestured at him to take over, and your fingers brushed together when he grabbed the washcloth, but he never looked down. his eyes still followed you as you searched the bathroom for something to cover his wound.

a comfortable silence followed. the two of you used to spend hours talking, sure, but what you loved about spending time with conrad is that silence didn't bother him. you could each be in your own worlds while in the comfort of each other's company, and that was enough.

once the wound was cleaned and the bleeding slowed down, you placed a gauze pad over his cut before wrapping a cloth bandage around it.

“i’m pretty sure it’s ‘you here to finish me off, sweetheart?’,” you remembered.

conrad shook his head. “i’m pretty sure it’s not. i’ve read the book like, three times.”

you move to sit next to him on the edge of the tub.

“how sure are you, connie? because i’m pretty damn sure.”

conrad shrugged. “i’m pretty damn sure, too.”

you rolled your eyes, but with a smile. “okay, fine. we’ll check. but, when you see how wrong you are, you have to come with me to see jaws 2.” it was playing at the local movie theatre during their weekly throwback thursday — you and belly had seen it advertised on your way home from getting ice cream. you had wanted to ask conrad, but couldn’t find the right time.

because you hadn’t meant it to be a date, but you also hadn’t not meant it to be. something changed about how you felt towards conrad that summer; or, maybe, you just figured out what was different about the love you felt towards him compared to everyone else.

(yes, love. again, something you would never admit.)

you thought maybe — maybe he felt it too. there was something different in the way he teased you, laughed with you, looked at you when he thought you couldn’t notice.

you did notice. it happened so much that eventually you decided that either it was all in your head and he didn’t love you that way, or he was also scared of what would happen if he did. which, to be fair, was the position you were in. you were very scared of what would happen if you crossed that line.

“i’ll agree to that,” conrad said. “if you agree to having a picnic with me on the beach. if i have to face my fear of sharks, then you have to face your fear of angry seagulls stealing your food.”

a picnic on the beach. you wondered if this was conrad’s way of subtly asking you on a date. did he also want to cross that line, become something other than friends? he looked at you so eagerly, you hoped he did.

“fine.” you held out your hand. “but you have to protect me from angry seagulls.”

conrad smiled at you brightly as he grasped your hand.

“always.”

in the end, conrad lost the bet. the screening of jaws 2 was cancelled, so you rented it from the video store instead. you got his favourite movie snacks, and some of yours as well, and made sure the couch had the comfiest pillows and the warmest blanket. you felt butterflies just thinking about the two of you watching together, cuddling on the couch.

when the time came though, your plans fell through. the playdates your siblings had lined up both cancelled. your mother had plans to meet a friend at the bar, and claimed she couldn't reschedule. by then your parents were divorced and your father was elsewhere with his new girlfriend, so it fell to you to babysit your siblings.

conrad came over anyway: he helped you make rice and lentils for dinner, convinced your brother to eat his vegetables, and let your sister paint his nails. the four of you watched night at the museum and ate all the junk food you had gotten, with you and conrad sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but stealing glances and shy smiles at each other. when your mother came home, a bit after midnight and a little tipsy, she got angry that you’d kept the twins up so late and cheated on the diet she had so carefully planned for you — to keep you in shape for swimming, she claimed. you rolled your eyes, and that made her angrier. without you saying anything, conrad took the twins upstairs to get ready for bed as you and your mother argued. by the time conrad walked back downstairs, your mother had gone into the living room for another drink and you were in tears. he asked if you were okay, and you told him to go home.

you never talked about that night again, and everything went back to the way it was: with neither of you crossing that line.

now

the only reason you let belly drag you to nicole’s party is because it’s her birthday.

as soon as you enter the house, nicole and the other debutantes whisk belly away to a table filled with elaborate cakes. you can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed by how elegant they look in comparison to the cupcakes you made her.

"come on," taylor groans. "let's get a drink."

taylor grabs two beers and hands one to you. you gratefully accept. the two of you catch up for a bit, when suddenly jeremiah starts serenading belly in an outrageously funny musical number. you laugh along with them, until you catch a glimpse of conrad with nicole on the couch at the other end of the room. nicole is sitting in conrad's lap, and she leans over to whisper something in his ear before kissing his cheek. your entire body heats up.

conrad was right before: you were jealous. as frustrated as you were with him, you were even angrier at yourself for feeling that way.

"i’m gonna go find the bathroom!” taylor says, practically shouting over the music.

"okay!” you yell back. “i’m gonna go get another drink."

you know all too well that it isn’t a good habit to get into, but you need something stronger if you’re going to survive this party. you examine the drink table, finally picking out some mediocre tequila. you take a shot, then another.

“tequila. my kind of girl.” someone declares, creeping up behind you.

it’s a terrible pick up line, and you already have a feeling that the guy trying to flirt with you is some rich entitled asshole.

but, the guy — liam — can hold a decent conversation, and he’s cute enough.

he’s no conrad, though. you take another shot when that thought crosses your mind, and force yourself to flirt with leo. liam. right, liam.

liam leans in close, pretends to listen to you, lets his gaze linger on the deep v-neck of your shirt. you’re so close, you can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“five minutes,” you boast after he asks how long you can hold your breath underwater. somehow, the conversation veered towards your time as a competitive swimmer. you’re just the right amount of tipsy that your inhibitions start fading away.

“wow,” liam says. “i have to say, i’m glad you didn’t have that training camp this summer.”

you bat your eyelashes at him. “oh? why is that?” you lean closer, trailing a finger down his chest.

“because then i wouldn’t be able to do this.”

liam kisses you then, and you kiss back. he slides his tongue in your mouth, runs his hands over your body. you feel nothing. it’s fine.

“let's go upstairs.”

liam’s grabbing your wrist before you have a chance to answer. as he tries to tug you up the stairs, your eyes meet conrad’s from across the room.

suddenly, you feel nauseous. you rip away from liam’s grip and place a hand on the wall next to you to steady yourself.

liam turns around sharply. “what is it?”

“i changed my mind, actually. let’s just hang out downstairs.”

liam grabs your wrist again, his grip tighter than before. “don’t be a tease.”

this time, your voice comes out louder. “i just changed my mind. that doesn’t make me a tease.”

“don’t be a bitch, then,” he scoffs, and you’re this close to breaking this guy’s nose. “do you wanna fuck, or not?”

“i don’t,” you answer instantly, struggling to break free from his grip.

“okay, whatever. we don’t have to go all the way, but we can still go upstairs, and have a good time.”

he manages to drag you up two steps as you strain against his iron grip, now almost cutting off your circulation. your heartbeat quickens and you feel dizzy. finally, you grab onto the railing for leverage, forcing liam to stop in his tracks.

“what is it now?” he groans.

“just stop, liam.”

“listen,” he starts, speaking to you almost mockingly, like you’re a naive little girl. “i know what girls want, so you don’t have to be shy. we’re going upstairs right now and —”

“liam, is it?” the rest of the party is in full motion, but here’s belly, giving liam one of the most intense death stares you’ve ever seen. belly, who if you cut open, would bleed sugar. “i’m gonna have to ask you to let go of my friend.”

“whatever,” liam answers, rolling his eyes. “if you don’t mind, we’re kinda in the middle of something.” he tries to move you forward, but you stand your ground.

jeremiah is also glaring at liam from the bottom of the stairs, his golden retriever personality long gone. “back off, man,” he warns.

“just mind your own business,” liam snaps.

“they said leave her alone,” steven asserts, walking over once he sees what’s happening. “and you don’t wanna mess with us, trust me.” he clenches his hand into a fist as if proving a point.

in other situations, you and belly have definitely teased steven for his tendency to act all tough, but right now, you couldn’t be more grateful.

“who the fuck are you? her bodyguards?”

“just let her go,” belly orders.

“i think she can speak for herself. she wants this, but if you’re jealous, you can join, too.”

your stomach churns. liam leans in close to whisper in your ear. “maybe we’ll see if those 5 minutes come in handy when you’re sucking my —”

as soon as liam lets go of your wrist, his hand trailing downward, you shove him away and punch him in the nose before he can finish his sentence. you deliver a final blow to liam’s ego as he’s doubled over:

“what i want is for you to leave us the fuck alone. there are other people in this house who i’d rather hook up with. people who aren’t complete assholes with fancy cars to compensate for their tiny dick.”

the flirtatious smile falls from liam’s face, replaced with the kind of anger only rich entitled assholes have when they don’t get what they want — figures that he only gets the hint when it literally hits him right in the nose. he’s angry enough to deliver a punch right back to your face.

you hear a crack upon impact, and pain radiates from your nose. you fall down the stairs, but belly manages to catch you before you hit the ground. she holds you as jeremiah and steven step in front. you hear them shouting at liam over the music, but their exact words don’t register.

you lick your lips, tasting blood. your ears are ringing, and the room is suddenly all fuzzy.

“i’ve got her.” conrad’s calm and measured voice cuts through the chaos. you feel a strong, familiar arm wrap around your waist. “go find cam — the rest of us have been drinking, but he can drive her home.”

somehow, you find yourself in a bathroom, sitting on the counter as conrad stands between your legs. he carefully examines your injury, but you notice how he avoids making eye contact.

you feel your head spinning all over again. maybe it’s the alcohol, or the adrenaline, or the fact that the two of you haven’t been this close in a while — probably a dangerous mix of all three.

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” the question slips past your lips before you could stop it.

conrad looks slightly amused, and he finally meets your gaze. “that’s not the line,” he deadpans. you know (from trying not to but ultimately not being able to pull your attention away from him all night) that he’s had a few drinks as well; it seems like the two of you ignore each other best when you’re sober.

but, still, he remembers. his comment earlier and his smile right now is all the confirmation you need: somewhere in the back of his mind, he replays memories of you. no matter how cold he acts towards you, he still cares.

he continues wiping the blood off your face. “how’s your hand?” he asks.

you flex your fingers, inspect your hand. “it’s been better,” you answer, though your knuckles are slightly aching. “worth it.”

“i guess all those years away made you a badass.”

all those years away. the reminder feels like a stab to the heart, but you wouldn’t let it burst the comfortable bubble you and conrad had somehow stumbled into.

instead, you offer him a lopsided smile.

“oh, connie,” the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. “i was always a badass.”

“yeah, yeah. but it’s different now. you’re different.” he pauses. you’re worried he’s going to say something else.

but he doesn’t. instead, he asks, jokingly: “did you join a fight club or something?”

you take that as a good sign: like you, he’s trying to preserve the playfulness between you before everything else seeps in and ruins it, before you’re brought back to the present, where you’re both heartbroken and not talking to each other.

“you know the first rule of fight club —”

“don’t talk about fight club,” you finish together.

conrad laughs, even though it’s not that funny. you laugh, too.

a silence falls over you, one that’s not unfamiliar, but not entirely comfortable either. conrad holds the cloth against your nose to make sure the bleeding stopped.

it seemed to be a strange pattern between you two — being there for each other when you bleed.

then — summer, age 12

it was the end of july when you got your first period.

you had made lunch for your siblings and walked them to their day camp, when you suddenly felt an ache in your abdomen. that ache turned into a sharp pain by the time you got home, and you ran to the bathroom to confirm what you’d suspected.

that afternoon, mr. conklin was taking all the kids to mini golf, but you weren’t feeling up for it. you texted belly about what happened and spent the rest of the day curled up in bed.

you didn’t hear him knock over the sound of the movie you were watching, but suddenly you saw conrad standing by your door, holding a bag from the candy shop.

“jesus, connie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, pausing the movie.

he smiled sheepishly and flopped down on the bed next to you. “belly told me you weren’t feeling well. here.” he handed you the bag.

you opened the bag, grateful that conrad picked out your favourite treats. you take one and bite into it. your stomach growled — you hadn’t eaten earlier because you felt nauseous, but now you could eat that entire bag in one go.

“how was mini golf?” you asked, popping another treat into your mouth.

“it was awesome! i finally managed to get past that giant hippo and get a hole-in-one. i got the highest score.”

you frown, wishing you had been there. if anything, to beat conrad’s score.

“don’t worry, we’ll go back another time,” conrad added. “you can beat me then.” sometimes, you swore conrad could read your mind. he then asked if you were feeling better.

“no. i got my period,” you huffed. “it sucks.”

“oh.” conrad adjusted his glasses, a sign that he felt awkward. “i’ve heard about those. they sound pretty brutal.”

“health class?”

“no. my mom, actually.”

health class wasn’t much help for you either, and neither was your mother. you were lucky enough to have susannah and laurel, who had explained everything to you and belly.

“anyway, what are you watching?”

“the hunger games,” you answer. “i just finished the book.”

“cool.”

conrad didn’t move — he actually leaned back against the pillows even more — so you figured he wanted to stay. you moved the laptop so it sat between the two of you and started playing the movie again.

“you know, it doesn’t seem fair that you miss out on having fun just because of your period,” conrad said as katniss finds peeta injured in the arena.

you frown, about to point out that he has no idea how painful cramps can be.

he lifted his hand up to stop you. “not that i can judge what you’re going through. i’m just saying when it’s this bad, instead of being alone, just text me, and i’ll be there.”

when the time came, he watched movies with you in bed. he brought you junk food and pain killers. he even biked to the store when you’d run out of pads.

he was there for you, just like he promised.

now

those moments from past summers now feel warm and sickly sweet, like popsicles melting in the sun — then again, that might just be the remnants of tequila flowing through your veins. you think about what happened earlier, how belly, jeremiah, and steven stepped in to protect you. how conrad is here with you now, taking care of you so tenderly even after you’ve ignored each for so long. it’s like nothing changed. but once you leave this bathroom and the alcohol leaves your system, it wouldn’t be the same. you feared you'd never get that magic back, and that weighed on your chest so much, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“why’d you go for liam, anyway?” conrad asks, breaking you away from your thoughts. he removes the cloth from your nose so you can answer, and the bleeding seems to have finally stopped.

“you really wanna know?”

“yeah. liam’s an asshole. and you’re…” conrad places his hands on either side of your thighs, leaning close. “you.”

“i went for liam because….well, honestly, i didn’t care who it was, as long as they made me forget you,” you admit, because what did you have to lose. you probably have a broken nose, you definitely have blood on your shirt, and your time with conrad is running out.

conrad’s eyes darken. his fingers start to play with the hem of your shorts.

“did it work?” his voice is a whisper, but he’s so close that it’s crystal clear.

“no.”

it’s hard to determine who leans in first, but soon enough your lips are on conrad’s. it's not the most elegant kiss — it's messy, urgent, with your noses bumping together, and teeth clacking against each other. he cradles your face in his hands, and you wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. you taste beer on his tongue, and maybe a hint of lime, but it’s overwhelmed by the salty, metallic taste of blood stained on your lips. you tangle your hands into his hair, and you swallow his moan as you gently tug. it’s clearer now: you’re not dizzy from the alcohol or adrenaline, but dizzy from him.

when you run out of air, feeling like your lungs could burst, you pull away. conrad’s gaze is heavy on yours as he traces your top lip with his thumb.

“connie,” you whimper, itching to kiss him again.

“you’re still bleeding.”

conrad wipes away your blood with the cuff of his flannel. before either of you can do or say anything more, there’s a knock on the door. jeremiah, letting you know that it’s time to go.

and, just like that, the moment is gone.

a few days later, belly invites you over for a girl’s night. you paint each other’s nails, eat sour candy, and watch rom coms, just like you used to. she updates you on debutante season, the argument she had with taylor, and her blossoming feelings for jeremiah. you let it slip that you and conrad kissed at nicole’s party, though you admit you aren’t sure what it means — as if you hadn’t spent hours and hours thinking about the kiss, about him. belly gives you a knowing smile, but you change the subject before she can comment any further.

you’re halfway through 10 things i hate about you when belly falls asleep. you grab your phone, deciding to finally reach out to conrad, when you get a text from him.

he’s already on the dock when you arrive, looking out onto the water.

“hey,” you greet as you stand next to him. “i was actually about to text you —”

“did you tell belly that we kissed?” he interrupts. you can’t quite read his expression as he waits for you to answer.

“no, i didn’t,” you lie. “but…would it matter if i did?”

“well, i mean, belly’s close to nicole and i don’t want her finding out," conrad explains. his words are deliberate, and you suspect he'd spent some time perfecting what to say to you. so far, you didn't like where this was going. conrad delivers another blow:

"it’s not like it meant anything.”

you feel like you could shatter into a million pieces right then and there.

“it didn’t?” you hate how fragile your voice sounds, compared to conrad’s stoic demeanor.

conrad shrugs. “i mean, we were both drunk and the thing with liam happened, so we just got caught up in the heat of the moment.”

“you’re saying there’s nothing between us, then? nothing other than friendship?”

he turned away before he answered. “no. nothing.”

“then what about last summer?” you demand. you force yourself to keep it together, your tone firmer than before. “i guess that didn’t mean anything, either.”

“y/n…” he pauses, and you know you caught him off guard. “i don’t know what you want me to say. we’re barely even friends anymore. you come back here, after all this time, after so much shit has happened, and expect us all to drop everything to fit you back into our lives. but, you don't. we moved on. i moved on, and i can’t deal with you —"

“got it,” you snap, already turning to walk away. “loud and fucking clear, conrad.”

it’s not like it meant anything. we’re barely even friends anymore.

you replay conrad’s words as you crawl into bed next to belly, holding back tears as to not disturb her sleep.

you decide then that you didn’t love conrad anymore. you couldn’t because it would eat you up inside.

then again, it doesn't seem like hating him would be any easier.

#conrad fisher fluff #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #tsitp #tsitp fanfic #the summer i turned pretty fic #the summer i turned pretty #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher angst #saf writes

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jaegeraether · 10 months ago

Text

Sunsets and footballers (Part 48)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (43) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson Mini (5)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((**Just a little one tonight...I've been busy. Also it's very emotional...Sorry!**))

“Tell me everything.”

Leah downed her second drink in a row. “The awards are going to start.”

“Not for another twenty minutes…”

The England Captain sighed and put her head in her hands for a minute or so, YFN leaving her to her thoughts until she was ready. She came back up with decisiveness, looking at YFN.

“The first I heard of Mark was when I was promoting my book last year. I was promoting it around social media and all that, and one of the things I did was a sort of sit down talk with JK Rowling about it. She’s a children’s author, my book is for children, it just made sense to everyone, including my publishing agency. Anyways, Joe’s team were confident that it would be a massive boost for her after the previous comments she’d made. They planned it so that doing this little interview with me would make people start to like her again and boost her reputations back up and… well Mark didn’t like that. He approached me without my team around and told me to make sure the interview never came out. I talked to my team and Joe’s team and they didn’t seem surprised he’d done that. My team told him no. The next thing I know, he approached me with a video of…” Leah closed her eyes and shook her head as if to rid herself of the memories.

“Leah you didn’t…” YFN stopped herself.

“No! No, I didn’t cheat on Jordan. The video was of Jordan and I, but you couldn’t tell it was her. You could definitely tell it was me.”

YFN heart sunk and she reached out to touch Leah’s arm reassuringly. “How.. how bad was it?”

YFN could see the tears forming in her eyes. She pulled her head back almost looking at the ceiling as she tried to keep them at bay and dabbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, this is relief more than anything. You’re the first person I’ve told.” She met YFN’s eyes again with a small smile that wasn’t fooling anyone. “It was bad. You can see most of me naked and the back of Jordan’s head between my legs, though it just looks like it could have been anyone. The problem was me obviously coming on camera. We were near a window in a high-rise so the only thing I can think of is drone footage… I didn’t see it…”

She was the first person she’d told. Leah had kept it all to herself. She squeezed her arm.

“It’s not illegal to video someone inside their home, but it’s a strong case for being unethical..”

“Yeah, my lawyers eventually worked that one out. But I didn’t want to drag Jordan down in my mess. I thought I was going down, and I..” she looked over at Jordan. “I didn’t want to drag her down with me. She deserves better.” She looked back at YFN. “You would have done the same for Lucy.. I know you would have.”

It all started making sense to her then. Leah’s talk to YFN when she was arguing with Lucy about ‘don’t fall into the trap of pretending it’s for the best when it’s not. I’ve made that mistake and can’t watch you do the same..’

Leah broke up with Jordan because of this. Because of Mark. Her eyes searched for him in the crowd as she spoke.

“So you broke up with Jordan because you were worried he would make it public and ruin your career and Jordan’s by association. It’s taken your lawyers a little over a year to win the rights to the video, so you’re trying to win Jordan back, and now he’s threatening to leak it out of spite?” Her words were said between gritted teeth.

Her eyes scanned over Lucy, only pausing long enough to see her look of curiosity and worry at the expression on YFN’s face which she guessed was fierce.

“That sums it up pretty well actu-“

Leah cut herself off when YFN stood and left, walking towards the man she’d finally spotted in the crowd. She didn’t care where she was.

“You!” She said, standing in front of him. “You like threatening people and ruining relationships, do you? What exactly do you want?”

Mark looked a little embarrassed and waved the people he was talking to away. “Leave us, I’ll find you.” He turned to YFN. “You want to do this here and now?”

“You fucking started it.”

A hand grabbed hold of her arm and she didn’t have to look to know it was Lucy.

“YFN, don’t. It’s not worth it.” Leah pleaded from YFN’s other side, her hand also finding her arm as she murmured the next bit quietly. “Let the lawyers handle it.”

“I want to know,” she said, fists balled up. “What do you want?”

He looked around as if to make sure they weren’t making a scene before he bent down. “You know what I want. Joe-“

“Joe has nothing to do with us, and even if she did, we don’t represent whatever she did to hurt you. So leave us alone.”

Mark laughed. Actually laughed. “As if you don’t have enemies as well, YFN?”

“That’s enough,” Lucy growled over her shoulder.

“No,” he replied harshly with a glare at Lucy before his attention turned back to YFN. “This world is built on enemies. Take a think about those photos of you and your girlfriend at the airport, hm? I don’t live in Barcelona. None of the people who work for me do. So take a moment to rethink… do you have any enemies? Particularly ones in.. oh I don’t know… Barcelona?”

Her stomach dropped lower. The photos hadn’t been the best quality, and she’d wondered if they were taken from a phone. Of course they would have.

“K…Kristie?”

“Not so innocent, are you?”

Lucy took a step forward when they were interrupted.

“Lucy! Leah! It’s good to see you again!”

They turned and paled as William and Catherine approached. They looked stunning, William in a tux and Catherine in a dress.

The five of them composed themselves quickly enough that the tension went unnoticed.

Lucy greeted the pair first and then stepped back, placing a reassuring hand on YFN’s lower back. She was the only person who knew that Catherine was her ‘Joe’. Leah greeted them next with a textbook smile, teeth showing, followed by Jordan. Mark had managed to sneak away, but not before flashing YFN another look as if he’d won. She pretended not to see. After the pair greeted the three lionesses, William’s attention turned to her.

“YFN, right?” She curtsied slowly to get her thoughts together. How did he know who she was? Luckily he continued as he shook her hand with a smile. “You’re the manager of Lumos, the new company for women’s sports, yes?”

YFN nodded. “That’s me. Lovely to meet you.”

“Fantastic work. Absolutely fantastic. I’m into football myself, if you can’t tell,” he joked, gesturing to the three lionesses beside her. He stepped just far enough to the side for Catherine to give her a similar greeting. Gosh, she was good at pretending they didn’t know each other. YNF shook her hand also.

“William is a sports fan but even more so a football fanatic,” she explained as if she didn’t know. The eye roll really sold it.

YFN had done her research and knew that William was the President of the Football Association, amongst his other titles.

“Catherine spotted some football stars, knowing I couldn’t resist coming over and saying hello,” he grinned. Ah, that made sense. This was Catherine’s way of intervening. She must have seen. “Anything to get out whatever we were previously talking about.” He was cheeky, which was refreshing. “Have you heard of Lumos?”

Catherine nodded. “Yes, they seem like a wonderful new start up,” she turned to YFN. “Is it just for women’s football or will it be for other things?”

“Starting off with women’s football. Aiming to have full coverage over all leagues and internationals by the middle of next year. Following that we’ll expand to other female sports which are lacking attention like cricket and tennis, and from there we’ll see. As of right now its main purpose is to bridge that deficit of coverage of women’s sports.”

“That’s excellent,” William said. “And much needed. Women’s sports have a lot of supporters and it would give young girls better access to sportswomen to idolise growing up. I remember you all saying how difficult it was growing up without that..”

The lionesses nodded, and Leah stepped in as Captain, supporting her and mentioning how Lumos was already becoming very popular with the players around England.

They spoke for a little longer, the conversation made easy by William. He was great at talking in general and holding interest. They had to leave after five full minutes of conversation, apologising as they were expected to meet some more people before the awards started. YFN was fine with that, she had too much on her mind to be entertaining a conversation when she felt like she needed to be sick.

“Fucking Kristie,” Lucy growled when they’d left.

YFN didn’t say anything, the feeling of dread sitting there.

“What are you going to do?” Jordan asked softly.

“She violated her restraining order. I’m going to get airport footage of her there.”

YFN was almost zoned out, barely hearing as she tried to find Mark again. Kristie hovering around them left her nervous and scared, but she couldn’t get over the feeling that came with knowing what he’d done to Leah and Jordan without caring. Her eyes wandered but couldn’t find him and regardless, the trio wouldn’t have let her confront him again anyways.

“It’s not worth it,” Lucy said again. YFN looked at her harder than she ever had so she knew she was serious.

“Yes, it is.”

Her message got across and Lucy looked to Leah who was biting her lip. Jordan saw Leah hesitating and shook her head. She was done. She walked off. Lucy went to follow but YFN stopped her and her hand found Lucy’s, entwining their fingers. Lucy softened.

YFN turned to Leah. “We have ten minutes until we need to be seated, Leah.”

“I don’t deserve her,” she whispered. “I can’t drag her into this mess..”

“Leah…a mistake repeated more than once is a decision. Don’t make her decision for her again. Give her a choice, and give her the truth.”

Leah’s lips parted and her face fell as the words hit her hard. She nodded and walked over to Jordan. Lucy and YFN found a comfortable spot of their own and YFN told Lucy at the exact same time that Leah told Jordan. Lucy’s face fell and her head whipped around to find Mark, but was stopped by YFN catching her cheek with the palm of her hand.

“No, Luce. Not tonight.”

She planted a soft kiss to her cheek as Lucy calmed herself, turning to watch Leah tell Jordan. They’d never seen Jordan’s face drop so fast. She was distraught. Leah hadn’t left her because of her. Leah had left her to protect her. Jordan’s lips trembled and for the first time in a long time, she let Leah hold her, and stroke her back as she cried. Finally. Catharsis.

They’d all managed to tidy themselves up before the awards and they sat together in pairs, YFN noticing Leah’s hand was made open and available to Jordan which she eventually took. Their fingers laced together like Lucy’s and YFN’s while they listened to speeches and only then did she let herself relax and enjoy the fact that Lucy was here. She couldn’t help the looks of adoration.

“Your boxing class,” she murmured during a break.

“Pushed it to tomorrow,” Lucy smirked. “Figured some cardio on the day before El Clasico would be a good idea.”

YFN hummed her approval and gripped her bicep with her spare arm. “You came.”

“Of course I did, little one,” they shared a look, not really caring that they were in public. “Besides…I’m glad I did with this drama.”

“I’m glad you did too,” she sighed, her eyes finding Jordan and Leah again. “I really needed you tonight.”

She needed her every night, but she wasn’t about to admit that.

The awards were a nice distraction and they caught up with a few of the other lionesses: Alex Scott, Chloe Kelly, Mary Earps, Jill Scott and a few celebrities outside of football Leah introduced them to. After the drama of Mark, they’d all fallen into the enjoyment of the night and each other’s company. Most people left the venue quickly, however the four stayed and enjoyed the soft music and relaxed atmosphere as opposed to the chaos of the after party. YFN found herself slow dancing in Lucy’s arms, joined by several other couples who preferred that to a night club scene. They whispered sweet nothings to each other as they swayed, giving Leah and Jordan time to speak quietly at a table alone. Only when the conversation appeared to be ending, did they stop and join them.

They stopped for takeout on the way home, looking incredibly overdressed as they did so which amused them all. They sat and ate at the takeout place which was far too dirty for their clothes, but again, they were enjoying themselves and the company of each other. Somehow with all of her condiments, Lucy had managed to not drop any onto her outfit, and the trio let her know just how impressed they were. The table she’d been leaning over though…that needed a bucket and a mop. Her excuse was that she hadn’t eaten since lunch, though they knew her better than that.

They arrived back at Lucy’s house late, undressing, showering and getting into comfy clothes.

“I want to see it,” Jordan said.

Leah didn’t bother arguing. She knew she’d been wrong to keep it from her. She looked at YFN and Lucy who were already giving them space. It was none of their business.

Jordan watched the video with fear. It didn’t go for long, and it was exactly as Leah had described. They were in a high rise apartment they’d booked for a romantic night together in London. Leah was naked and propped up on pillows on the couch, and Jordan’s mouth was on her. It was impossible to tell it was Jordan as the couch arm cut off all of her body besides the head as it moved, her hands gripping Leah’s hips as she ate her. Leah was a mess at this point. Her hair was out and she was desperately chasing the high that Jordan was pushing her towards. She was a sweaty, moaning mess, unable to keep still, her hands finding Jordan wherever she could. The end of the video was Leah orgasming, her back arching and a whimper torn from her throat, her nipples excited and pointing to the ceiling. It was confronting to watch, even without sound.

They didn’t speak when it was done. Jordan handed her phone back wordlessly and Leah picked up her bag. Jordan walked her to the door. There hadn’t been any discussion on Leah not staying, it was just something they both knew was right.

“I love you,” Leah said from the doorstep, her bag slung over her shoulder. “I made a decision without involving you. I thought I was protecting you, but I took your choice away. I never stopped and will never stop loving you. I can’t change the past, but I can tell you here and now that I’ll give you everything, all of me, and I’ll never make a decision without you again. I’ve lost a year with you, and I can’t stand to lose another second. If you take me back and realise you can’t trust me….then I’ll bear that burden of pain and I need you to know that I’d never beg you to stay just for my feelings. I’d hold the door open and offer you everything I had, because you deserve everything, Jord. Just…think on it.”

Leah leant down slowly and kissed Jordan on the cheek one long, lingering kiss. Jordan’s head turned into her and their foreheads met, lips hovering over each others. Leah cupped her cheek and wiped away the tears that her words had drawn from Jordan. She was tempted to kiss her, but she was not going to make another mistake. It was Jordan’s choice from here on.

“You’re my person. I love you, Jord.”

And with that, Leah was gone, Jordan watching as she did. She watched her open her car door and toss her bag in. She watched her sit in her seat and put her seatbelt on. She watched her lips tremble as she exhaled her emotions, gripping the steering wheel. Her red eyes found Jordan on the doorstep with her arms wrapped around her body to shield herself from the cold. That should be her keeping her warm. She started the car as her own tears fell. Jordan watched until she could no longer see her car, her heart aching for those happy years with Leah again.

She went back inside and YFN was waiting for her with her arms out. Jordan planted herself there, letting her emotions out in loud sobs. Lucy came past and wrapped her arms around them both tightly, kissing Jordan on the head.

They ended up on the couch, Jordan crying herself to sleep in YFN’s arms, Lucy tucking a blanket over them. She settled herself on the adjacent side of the L-shaped modular couch, her head near theirs and her pinky finding YFN’s.

#woso #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #engwnt #jordan nobbs #lionesses #lucy bronze #woso x reader #wsl #leah williamson #arsenal women #aston villa women #lucy bronze imagine #lucy bronze x reader

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plussizefantasia · 1 year ago

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Trick-Or-Treat

Flufftober Day 31: Trick or Treat

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

AN: Here it is. The last one shot of October. Thank you to everyone who has left comments and reblogs you guys are awesome. I'll be taking a short break (like two weeks) and will be back soon with some more stories including a multi-chapter Steve Harrington x reader story and plans for the 100-follower celebration that we earned at the beginning of the month. As always, reblogs and feedback are really appreciated.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

Bucky Barnes didn’t think very much of himself. Which is a real shame, considering he’s one of the most amazing men you’ve ever met. You wouldn’t have moved in together if he was a bad guy like he thought he was. The two of you had moved into a two-story townhouse in Brooklyn three months ago. Bucky really wanted to get close to his roots, especially after everything that happened. Steve had moved into an apartment about a block from you guys but split most of his time between the Avenger’s initiative and being home.

“Jamie, could you help me move the couch to the stoop please?’

‘Why are we taking our indoor furniture outdoors?”

“So that we have something comfy to sit on while we hand out candy.”

“We’re handing out candy? I thought we were just going to put it in a bowl and leave it outside the door.” Bucky was confused, and more than a little apprehensive.

“Jamie. Love of my life, this is what people who have houses do. They sit out on their porches and hand out candy to children in mediocre costumes for two hours while trying not to freeze. It’s a rite of passage.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t do trick or treat in the olden days?”

“First of all, don’t call them the olden days. Second of all, trick or treating wasn’t really a thing until I was too old to participate, and even then, people had more things to worry about than handing out candy.”

“Why don’t you want to hand out candy, Jamie?”

“Because… it will be cold.”

“You’re literally a human furnace try again.” You lifted one eyebrow at him, trying your best to capture the essence of Roger’s ‘eyebrows of disappointment’ that he had practically trademarked.

“Doll, I just don’t think it's a good idea.”

“Why not Jamie? I won’t make you hand out candy if you don’t want to but I have a feeling that whatever reason you have in your silly little noggin for not wanting to isn’t really a good one.”

“What if they hate me?” He mumbled.

“What if who hates you, baby?”

“The kids. What if the kids are scared of me.”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You are a hero, you fought to bring back literally half of the population of the entire universe, anyone who is scared of you is an idiot.”

“That’s sweet doll, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s night.”

“The only person’s night who is a risk of being ruined is mine. I don’t know how I’ll survive without my human furnace to keep me warm out there.” You batted your eyelashes at him. “Please, Jamie? Just try, if you hate it you can go back inside but I think you’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” You didn’t try to fight the smile that spread from ear to ear.

‘Yeah, doll. I’ll hand out candy with you.”

Bucky wasn’t sure about any of this. But you had asked so prettily and his therapist (someone you had found for him, not one of the shitty government-appointed ones) had told him that he needed to start pushing his boundaries. He figured that spending the night next to you and watching you be happy was as good of a way to start pushing boundaries as any. He had pulled the couch out into the space that was right in front of your door. He had helped you climb over the back of it with a huge bowl of candy after you realized that the couch had practically trapped you inside. Now the two of you were waiting. The night didn’t officially start until 8:00 so you had about fifteen minutes to go.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?’

“I forgot my phone.”

“Okay?’

“Jamie?”

“Yes?”

“Could you go get my phone?” He let out a deep sigh and one of those old man grunts as he pushed himself up off the couch and climbed over it. He walked further into the house and you took your chance. “Hey Jamie?”

“Yes, Doll?”

“Since you’re inside… could you make me some hot chocolate?”

“Doll, if you wanted hot chocolate you could’ve just asked in the first place you didn’t need to send me on a quest for your phone.”

“I did actually leave my phone on the counter so it’s not like I lied.”

As Bucky was making your hot chocolate, the beginning few kids started emerging from their houses, parents behind them bundled up to counteract the chilly October night.

You saw a few clowns, some kids show characters that you didn’t really know the name of, and some funny pun costumes that you laughed at. But what really caught your eye was the trio of boys four houses down from yours, making their way down the street.

They couldn’t have been older than eight but their costumes were impeccable. They really were mini versions of your three favorite guys. A mini Captain America complete with a homemade cardboard shield, a mini falcon with swim goggles and a plastic redwing, and last but certainly not least a mini winter soldier whose arm was wrapped in tinfoil.

You had to resist the urge to actually scream, but you did let out a few overjoyed giggles.

“Jamie! James come quick!” You yelled into the house.

“You’re hot chocolate is almost done.” He yelled back.

“Who cares about the hot chocolate this is way more important!”

He started making his way towards the open door, “What is more important than hot choco-” He completely stopped. Frozen in his place looking at the three little boys making their way up your steps. “Holy Shit”

‘Language.” You replied.

Bucky practically launched himself over the back of the couch to meet the boys,

“Mom! Mom look! It’s Sergeant Barnes.” The boy with the tinfoil arm turned with a bright smile on his face. His mom was nearly as frozen as Bucky, most likely not expecting to run into a retired superhero on Halloween night.

With a smack from you, Bucky released himself from his stupor. “Hey little man, what’s your name?”

“George, but everyone calls me Georgie.” He said with the confidence of a kid who had rehearsed.

“Well Georgie, that’s a very nice costume you’ve got there.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes, Sir.”

“Call me Bucky, please.”

“Okay, Mr. Bucky, sir.” Both you and Bucky chuckled at that.

“I think a costume as good as that deserves some candy what do you think?” Bucky looked at you.

“Definitely, I think all three of these young heroes deserve their candy.”

You placed a handful into the Captain’s bucket, and the Falcon’s but let Bucky grab the candy for his mini-me. He grabbed two large handfuls and winked at the kid as he placed them inside his orange pumpkin bucket.

“Would you be okay with taking a picture?” Georgie’s mom asked.

“Absolutely!’ Bucky replied and pulled all three young boys in front of him. Kneeling behind them and giving a genuine smile.

Once pictures were done the parents got the boys to say goodbye and move on.

“There are more houses to go to Georgie, besides, I’m sure Mr. Barnes would like to be able to give candy to some other kids.”

“Okay Mom,” Georgie turned back to Bucky, “Thank you, Mr. Bucky, sir. You’re my hero.” He turned back away and skipped down your stairs and onto the next one like he hadn’t just broken your boyfriend.

The rest of the night went pretty similarly, with the occasional Avenger costume and star-struck kid. Bucky posing for pictures and actually enjoying it and you handing out way more candy per child than their parents were okay with.

Bucky’s smile never faded and he seemed to get more and more into it as the night went on.

“Hey Doll?” He asked when the two of you had finally returned your couch back to its rightful place.

“Yeah, Jamie.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You kissed him on the cheek. “You never did bring me my hot chocolate though.”

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runnning-outof-time · 1 year ago

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Happy Birthday/Congrats on 850 followers Daisy @peakyltd !! — to say I got inspired by the prompt list you shared is an understatement haha … I chose to use two different prompts, which I’ve italicized in the story. I also decided to go with John as an ode to the first moodboard/blurb that you shared with us. Enjoy! 💕

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Blood On the Carpet

John Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, blood, injuries

Summary: (Y/N) gets a rather pleasant surprise on the morning of her birthday, one that she can’t quite say she’s surprised by…or maybe she is.

A knocking on the door of her home roused (Y/N) from the comfortable position she was sitting in on the couch. It was still rather early; too early for anyone to come knocking. Unless…

“Happy birthday, love.”

“John Shelby, what’s happened to you? You’re bleeding,” she disregarded her boyfriend’s festive greeting, her eyes on his nose, which was bleeding and already bruised.

“Well I was on my way here to come and see you, but then…”

“You know what…I don’t even want to know what happened,” she cut him off before he could explain his injuries further, “just come inside.”

She stepped aside as she finished speaking, allowing him to walk inside. We waited for her as she shut the door behind them, standing in the middle of her entryway like he had not a clue of what to do next.

“You really don’t want to hear what happened? I promise it’s nothing too bad,” he tried again to get her to listen to the story behind his injuries.

“No, John, I feel like I’ve heard them all at this point,” she waved him off again, “besides, your too bad and my too bad are two different too bads,” she added, spinning around to face him after she locked the door.

“But it’s actually nothing bad this time,” he persisted.

(Y/N) found it quite odd that he really wanted to tell her the story, but she just couldn’t budge from her stance. Like she’d said, she’d heard, and been through, one too many at this point, and honestly felt like she could go into the hospital and work as a nurse from all of the bandaging up she’d done in the three years that she’s known John and the Shelby brothers.

“Maybe some other time,” she decided to slightly concede, hoping that it’ll get him past his desire for story time. “Right now I need to get you bandaged up,” she then said, giving him a once over only to find that his hands were scraped up and bleeding as well.

“But I promise it’ll have you laughing,” he wasn’t giving it up so easily.

“You’re bleeding on my carpet, John,” she insisted, a bit more strictness seeping into her tone as she noticed the splotches of blood that were now covering her ornate, green carpet…one that she loved dearly.

“Shit…sorry, love,” he apologized sheepishly, finally dropping the persistence he previously held so that he could follow her into the kitchen area. He sat down on one of the dining chairs and waited for her to grab everything she needed to clean up his wounds.

(Y/N) got right to work with cleaning up his nose and making sure that the scrapes on it were only superficial. The same could be said about those on his hands, but she bandaged them just to make sure. “That should do it,” she announced, setting the remainder of the gause down on the table before she looked up at him. She had to bite her bottom lip to stop from smiling as she saw the soft grin that was present on his face.

“Always takin’ care of me, darlin’,” he mumbled, his eyes feeling heavy as he looked at her with adoration. It was still early in the morning after all, and he was about ready to go back to sleep.

“Who else would if not me?” she jokingly questioned then, allowing the smile to break onto her face as she heard him laugh.

“Was I the first person to tell you happy birthday?” he asked her after a few moments passed, his eyebrows raising in intrigue.

“You were,” she answered with a nod of her head, “I don’t think anyone else was itching to come wish me a happy birthday at…” she pause, checking the clock on the far wall, “six in the morning.”

“I was itchin’ to from the moment I woke up,” John told her, glancing down at his bandaged up hands then. “I even fell on the pavement while walkin’ over…nothin’ could’ve stopped me,” he worked in the story of how he got his injuries.

“You fell?” (Y/N) gasped, her eyes widening at his admission.

“Yeah,” he let out a breath of a chuckle, “right onto the bloody curb…got me pretty fuckin’ good if you ask me,” he added, shaking his head as heat creeped up his neck. He couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed as he told her the truth behind the brusies.

“Well if you ask me…I still think you look pretty handsome,” she told him, a smile full on her face.

“Pretty handsome?” he questioned her word choice in an incredulous manner, his ego now brusied along with his body.

“You know what I mean, John,” she rolled her eyes, laughing at his exaggerated expression. “You know…you’ve been here for a while now and you’ve yet to give me a birthday kiss,” she switched topics then, her eyebrows raising slightly as she hoped he caught onto what she was saying.

“I was slightly preoccupied before, dear,” he pointed out, chuckling at her suggestion.

“Well you’re not preoccupied now…” she trailed off, watching him intently.

“C’mere then,” he grinned at her, his words making her lean in closer to him. Her quickness made him grin as he happily closed the rest of the distance to match his lips to hers. A sweet kiss was shared before he pulled away just enough to whisper: “happy birthday, love.”

“Thank you, John,” she mumbled back, leaning in for another kiss before pulling away completely. They were both grinning like fools as they sat properly in their chairs once more. (Y/N) took that time to give him a once over. She couldn’t help but laugh as a thought came to mind.

“What?” John asked, wanting to know the reason behind it.

“I said that I’ve heard it all before when it came to your injury stories…now I’ve really heard it all,” she told him, making him roll his eyes this time before laughter left both of their lips.

What a memorable way to start off a birthday.

———

Tagged: @the-anxious-youth @mystcldydrms @look-at-the-soul @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @shelbydelrey @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @stevie75 @dark-academia-slut @zablife @cillmequick @letal-y-poetica @depxiety @shelundeadxxxx @areyenotfondofmelobster @padfootdaredmetoo @crabat-the-queen @sebastianstangirl01 @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @papichulo120627 @brummiereader @valentinabloom @wildheartsalwaysburn @dragons-are-my-favorite @jessimay89

MASTERLIST

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jwiseungoki · 3 months ago

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Down Bad

(Jang Han Seok x Reader)

TW: age gap, force love, death, spoiled reader (this part doesnt have that much psychotic shit please tell me what to put as tw)

Context: Park Hae Rin has two elder brothers Park Hyun Sung and Park Hee Jin, as an only daughter she gets everything that she wants. Except for one thing: Jang Han Seok. Her brothers’ best friend, he sees her as a little sister but she sees him as a man. Every attempt to flirt with him, he dodges which frustrates her, Every woman that comes near him, she gets rid off and she wont rest until she calls him ‘mine’.

He’s back

I didn’t mean to eavesdrop over my brothers talking inside Hyunsung’s home office. But when I heard his name, I froze, and suddenly this tingling feeling took over my whole body, leaving me smirking.

Jang Han Seok

Eldest son of Jang Guk Hwan, Chairman and Owner of Babel Group. He was sent to the States by his father years ago for studies and rehab because the boy has serious mental issues going on, but he is here now.

I fixed myself before innocently knocking on my elder brother’s office door.

“Knock Knock, pretty face is here.”

I said, opening the door, not waiting for my brother’s answer. Both of them have a frown on their eyebrows, looking at me like I did something to ruin their day.

“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Heejin, the middle child asked. I gave them both a smile before sitting on one of the leather chairs in front of the table.

“I left early; Ms. Hong has some personal business to attend to,” I shrugged before grabbing a lollipop from the table. “So what chu guys talking about?” I smirked, waiting for a response from both of them. They looked at each other, eyes discussing whether they should or should not tell me.

“Hanseok is back in Seoul and probably going to take over Babel." As expected, Hyunsung could never resist me. I put on a shocked face, like I didn’t overhear them.

“Chairman Jang died last night in the hospital,” he added, and that escalated quickly.

As a sign of respect, we went to the funeral. Our families were very close to each other even before our dads married our moms. Mr. Jang and our father were already best friends; their friendship will probably continue wherever they both are now. Dad died a year ago due to complications of the heart, while I never met our mother; she died giving birth to me.

Which left Park Industries to the hands of Hyunsung, while Heejin acts as his subordinate. I don’t really care about inheritance, which is why I chose to pursue law. I’m working as an intern and assistant at Wusang with the help of my brothers, pulling some strings to get me to a trusted law firm. I’m the youngest one there.

In the age of 24, I’ve known and achieved a lot. I was forced by my brothers to strive and aim for the top as the only daughter; all eyes were on me. I was an easy target for the media and people. They say I’m spoiled, a brat, and spoon-fed.

Which is true.

I don’t run; I walk with grace to get the things I want. And I get EVERYTHING that I want. That’s why, learning that Hanseok is back, I need to pick up the pace and start the plan.

To finally make him mine.

“My condolences, Hanseo.” I tapped the younger Jang’s shoulder; he was oddly quiet and was staring into space for a long time before I approached him. For what I know, he and his father weren’t that close, casual, and civil, I suppose. But his action of mourning made me analyze that there was something.

“Glad you can come; you’re not busy with cases?” He asked, tapping the seat next to him, and I sat beside him. “Not really; I’m just working on a small case with Ms. Hong. How are you holding up?” I asked, smiling at him a bit; he was about to answer when his eyes shifted to my legs and back to me. I looked down and saw no problem; was he checking me out?

He then started to take off his black coat and place it on top of my lap. I should have guessed it; Hanseo was always the gentleman. Forgot to eat? Hanseo will remind you and bring you food. Frustrated and want to vent out? Hanseo will be there in 10 with chicken and beer. He’ll do the bare minimum thing, and I’d still be surprised. If I wasn’t in love with his brother, I'd fall for him, but there’s something about Hanseok that I want and can’t point out what.

Speaking of Hanseok, I’ve not seen him anywhere. But then again, no one knows about him. Mr. Jang never publicized his sons; no one knew about his affair with his secretary that resulted in Hanseo; no one knew about Hanseok being sent to the states for being a psychopath; no one but our little circle.

After catching up with Hanseo, I excused myself for some air. I made sure to double check my surroundings before pulling out the box of cigarettes and lighter. It was a habit that I picked up during law school, and vaping helped me a lot.

“And since when were you allowed to smoke, princess?”

That voice sent my entire body to freeze; I didn’t have to look to know who it was. Instead I took a hit before facing him with a smirk on my lips. Jang Hanseok gave me his signature smirk and brow raise, waiting for a response.

“Hiding out here instead of mourning inside?” I asked, walking a little closer to him, finishing off my stick before throwing it on the ground. “What is there to mourn for? Man’s a dickhead.” He chuckled. Wow, he is still fucked up, huh?

But that aura just lit something in me, wrong but right at the same time.

“Give me the pack,” he said, handing out his hand. I looked down at his hand, giving him a disgusted look. “I’m literally an adult; I think I am allowed to smoke,” I said, swatting his hand away.

I was about to walk off, but he pulled my purse off my shoulder, opening it and getting the pack swiftly. “Hey! You can't do that! Give it back, Hanseok!” I yelled at him, trying to reach my bag and pack that he raised above his head. Even in heels, I still cannot reach it!

“Fine! Have it, asshole.” I rolled my eyes before storming off, not caring if he has my purse with him. Good thing my jumpsuit has pockets. I had my phone with me. I called my Heejin and told him I’m heading home first.

I’ve never felt this many butterflies while annoyed and frustrated. That man could literally do anything to me.

••

“What do you mean you can’t get that testimony from the witness?! Then force him! Bribe him! Do whatever you need to do and report back to me immediately; Ms. Hong needs that to win the case.”

I threw my phone on my desk, getting frustrated with the on-going Gyundo case. It’s a big fraud case that we need to get a win to prove that the trusted company is clean for the people to invest in and trust. They already paid a huge amount to Wusang, and the share that me and Ms. Hong will get from it is not a joke.

“Ms. Park to my office now,” Mr. Han passed by my desk, and I immediately trailed from behind. Once in his office, I saw Ms. Hong sitting there wearing the same confused face as I am. She stood up, paying respect to our boss before he ordered us to take a seat as he stood in front of us.

“Ladies Firstly, congratulations on having the upper hand on the Gyundo case! Second, I will be assigning you two a very huge and big case the company will only push through if you win the Gyundo case. Lastly, we have a new intern, so Ms. Park.”

He turned to me with a smile, making me nervous, and crept out, “You are now one of Wusang’s permanent lawyers. Congratulations on this promotion. You’re office will be ready in an hour.”

“What?!” I said, shocked at the announcement. Ms. Hong let out an “oh my god,” shaking me by the arm, also amused by the news.

“Yes, your hard work and dedication have been seen. We would like you to train the new intern; may I introduce to you Jang Joon Woo" Mr. Han opened the door to reveal another shocking surprise.

“What the fuck?”

All eyes were on me, not expecting the words that came out of my mouth. “S-sorry, my apologies. I didn’t know the intern would be younger than me.” I lied, bowing a bit for respect.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ms. Park; you are still the company’s baby. Alright, then you go along and work. Take care of Mr. Jang." Mr. Han dismissed us; we bowed to him, and I was the first to storm off the door with Ms. Hong behind.

“Thank you, Boss!”

Hanseok bid before I felt him following us. I stopped walking, making Ms. Hong hit my back. I faced her and smiled. “You go ahead, I’ll be back,” I said. “Are you okay? It’s like someone bought that limited edition Chanel bag that you always wanted,” Ms. Hong said, holding my cheek.

“Yes, I’m fine; don't worry. I’ll meet you in your office,” I said, giving Hanseok a glare before walking away; he just had a confused look on his face.

I can’t believe this! Why is he here?! And whats with the undercover gig?? Jang Joon Woo? What the fuck is he up to? After not seeing him for two months. I grabbed my phone that I left on my desk and started calling a certain person.

“What the fuck is going on your brother’s mind?!”

“Whoa, chill. I don’t know either, but I’m on the way to Babel; he appointed me as Chairman.”

“Huh?!” I completely lost it as Hanseo’s words rang out in my ear. I massaged my temple; this can’t be! I can’t be working with the man I’m trying to get!

I hang up on Hanseo and continue to grab my stuff before moving it to my own office. I didn't have the time to sink it all in; maybe I’ll celebrate later. I rushed towards Ms. Hong’s office with the Gyundo files, and to my surprise, Hanseok was still there, sitting on one of Ms. Hong’s wooden chairs.

“Ms. Hong, we ha-“

“Shh! It’s Chayoung now; we’re both lawyers! So drop the formality; besides, its only a five-year gap,” Ms. Hong, well, Chayoung said before pulling me into a hug and giving me one of her brightest smiles.

“You’re still my super-.“

“Eh! Shh! We are celebrating together! Later, on me. Okay?!” She cut me off again. I just nodded before setting down the files for her to review.

“So we don’t have any testimony?” Chayoung asked, and I nodded. “According to the intern I sent in, the man does not want to talk to anyone associated with Gyundo; even the opposing party cannot get a statement.” I sighed, sitting on one of the chairs.

I quickly glanced at Hanseok, who was watching us stress out; he looked back at me, and I raised a brow at him.

“Any thoughts, intern?” I asked him not to break eye contact. Chayoung looked up from the papers, then to him, then to me. Hanseok smiled standing up before taking a glimpse at the file.

“I think we should go for something that is very valuable to him so that we can get his testimony,” he suggested with a mischievous smirk, giving me an intense look. “Youre telling us we threaten him by using his family?”

He just nodded; a smile crept on Chayoung’s face, liking the idea Hanseok proposed. “Wah! If that's the only way, then get started, Jang Joon Woo,” Chayoung said. I was left dumbfounded. Why are we suddenly playing dirty?!

Just like that, we won, and thanks to Hanseok’s idea, we got the testimony. I clenched on my purse as I walked out of the bar behind Chayoung. Hanseok was waiting for us with a smile.

“Good job, ladies! Let’s celebrate?” He asked, and Chayoung was quick to respond, making the two look at me. “Fine! Let’s go; I’m quite peckish,” I said. Hanseok treated us to some pork belly and soju. I was lowkey getting irritated at how He and Chayoung are getting close; they have the same humor and interest, while I felt like I’m the third wheel.

“When Haerin first came into the office wearing all Prada and Chanel clothes, I was star struck. An intern must have come from a very rich family. When I found out she came from generational wealth, I felt like she was the superior, but once I got to know her, she’s very calm and focused on the goal type of girl. You know she never took interest in anyone.” Then there is Chayoung, who is now a bit tipsy. “Okay, that’s enough. We’re driving you home,” I said, taking away her glass, but she swatted my hand.

"Oh, I can still handle Haerin, Joon Woo! Cheers!” She said she was pouring drinks into mine and Hanseok’s glass; we had no choice, but in the end Chayoung got drunk, and I drove her car to her apartment with Hanseok in the backseat, completely sober.

“She’ll be alright,” I said before locking up her apartment, pulling out my phone to call a driver since we came here with Chayoung’s car.

“You haven’t spoken to me ever since that night." Hanseok spoke up while we walked to the elevator. "Well, I was going to call you about my purse, then you pulling some undercover shit in Wusang made you less interesting.” I shrugged. I saw him smirk. “Since when did I become less interesting to you, princess?” He said.

He’s right, there won’t be a part of him that is not interesting. It feels like he knows that I have a keen interest in him.

“Since you stepped foot into our house during your college days." I rolled my eyes; that was the day I first met him, and I took a liking to him. “Aw, don’t be silly. I know you adore me as one of your older brothers." He patted my head. Is he that oblivious? Hmm, I should step up my game.

“Come on, I’ll take you home." He said, making me walk in front of him.

••

The next day at work, I took an oath to make myself obvious to him, so when I saw him in Chayoung’s office working on a new case, I immediately called him to go to my office.

“What?” He asked confusedly, and I pointed at the iced coffee on my desk for him. “It’s yours; I accidentally bought two,” I said, pretending not to care and proceeding to type words on my laptop.

“And why give it to me instead of Ms. Hong?” He said but took a sip of the coffee, “Because you’re the only one I know here would enjoy an iced macchiato." He smirked and gave me a thanks before I dismissed him.

“Whoa, why does he get lunch and I don't?” Chayoung wondered as I threw the takeout on the table in front of Hanseok, “What’s the update on the filler case?” I swerved the question, pretending to look at the papers.

“Attorney Park! Did something happen between the two of you last night? Oh my God!” Chayoung said, covering her mouth and looking back at us. “What? No! Joon Woo mentioned he skips meals a lot, so I bought him lunch,” I said, looking at Hanseok.

“A-ah yes! Thank you, Attorney. Uhm, I’ll eat now." He excused himself from breaking eye contact with me. I heard a cough from Chayoung, who was smirking, crossing arms, and nodding.

“What? Why are you acting like that?” I asked, “Something happened!” She gasped and moved a little closer. “You two had sex in my apartment?!” I pushed her away from shock, “No! Oh my God, Chayoung! I’m too young for that,” I said, covering my ears.

“Girl! You literally bagged an idol last time we went out clubbing; you’re not a virgin, hoe!” She laughed, throwing a piece of tissue at me. “But seriously, you never cared about Jang Joon Woo.”

“Ugh fine! I like him, and I don’t just sit around waiting for guys to like me back,” I said, plopping myself on one of her chairs, pouting. She shrinks before asking me how and when I started to like him. I did not include the part that we knew each other before, and I felt so bad lying to her, but I also need to protect this stunt Hanseok is pulling.

The day finally came to an end, and I was starving since I skipped lunch. I did it on purpose so I could ask Hanseok to accompany me. I went to his desk, where he was fixing his bag. I slammed my hand on his table, making him jump.

“Haerin! You scared the shit out of me! What was that for?” He dramatically said. I rolled my eyes and leaned down. “Get up, we’re eating dinner,” I said before walking off. I felt him follow me with so many questions.

We got to a Mexican restaurant since I wanted a burrito, and Hanseok ordered the same as me: “Cut to the chase princess, why are you suddenly being nice to me?” He asked, and I didn't answer him, but I continued to eat my burrito and nachos.

“I am talking to you right, princess?” He said putting down my food and grabbing my chin to make me look up at him, which, I’m not going to lie, made my stomach bounce inside me.

“I just want to make it up; after all, we are all that we have,” I smirked. He wasn't expecting the last part, so he continued to eat. After dinner, he dropped me off at my apartment. After locking the door and throwing my heels off, I started to squeal and dance around.

The car ride to Haerin’s apartment

No one talked; complete silence engulfed the two, but Hanseok decided to break it.

“The game you want to play, Princess, is very dangerous. Think twice about it before you get yourself trapped,” he said, smirking.

I scoffed, so he caught on? He wasn't playing dumb but was just pushing the fact that I have interest in him.

“I know what I’m doing.”

“So no backsies?”

I rolled my eyes; he is such a child.

"Yes, no backsies.”

"Hmm, let’s see how you’re going to make me fall for you, Park Haerin.”

#vincenzo #Jang Han Seok x reader #Hanseok #vincenzo au #fanfiction #2pm #ok taecyeon #Jang Joon Woo x reader #Spotify

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seraphirism · 3 months ago

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Hello! I hope you’re having a good day and just wanted to let you know that your explanation of chapter 4 was amazing!! If you don’t mind me asking though, who exactly is Falin? Or rather what’s her big schtick? Cause I liked her in the chapter but couldn’t really understand why she is who she is.

hii and thank you so much for liking it (*≧∀≦*)💞!! I go on a tangent when I’m speaking/writing so everything ends up all over the place?

also, I don’t mind at all, in fact, thank you for asking about Falin \(//∇//)\!! I wanted to talk about her so bad (and I decided I was going to make long post about her pretty soon! seeing your ask made me so happy, cause now I have a reason to talk about her!)

[also, anon, I kinda had one thing in my head and it turned into another so I feel like I deviated from what you wanted and turned it into something else? I apologise in advance if this was not what you meant. please let me know if this is what you meant or something else :D!]

spoilers for main story chapter 4, part 4 and 5 are below and trigger warning for breeding, captivity and human trafficking (technically not human but it still applies i guess?)

now, for people who have not read the story or don’t remember it clearly, I’ll briefly go over what happened in the main story revolving asking her, before jumping to what we know about her character and some of my own theories + things I’ve noted about her. unfortunately, we do not have information for why she turned into such a twisted character but I think that might be revealed in the coming chapter since the case of Seiran family has not been wrapped up yet; the investigation is still going on since the Master of the Seiran family is still alive.

her actions, leading up to her death:

this is meant for those who have not read or do not remember the events revolving her; I’ll wrap it up quickly! in case you have not read my previous explanation about chapter 4 (part 3-5) and are confused, please give it a read!

it begins when the butlers (+muu!) were taking shifts at night in various places inside the Seiran’s palace (doing their guarding duties) when they hear the maids calling out to each other that “she went into labour” or “the child is about to be born, grab [insert necessity]!”

[note: for child, the word used in Japanese by the maids is 子/ko which does not only mean the child of a person but could be the child of an animal too. that was one of the assumptions of the butlers; that the child was a cat/dog’s baby OR that the child could be of another possible (hidden) mistress of the head of the Seiran family.]

but it becomes strange when this happens again, and then again. now, the butlers were suspicious, especially when Falin reacted in an unusual manner, saying she had not heard the maids act like that before heading back quickly, avoiding the subject.

now everything comes to light when:

[this is after the Master of the Seiran family had been kidnapped by mr elf, and Fennesz and Haures were away searching for the Master of the Seiran family.].

Ammon, Boschi, Aruji with Falin at their side are confronted by the sight of elf guy interrogating the Master of the Seiran family.

[note: elf guy’s people (their kind as a whole) are from the West (specifically from the valley regions.). they are governed by Elboa, the green headed elf looking guy with a hood.].

there it’s revealed that the Seiran family had kidnapped the people of elf guy (people of the valley.). Boschi assumed it was for experimentation, like the Sardis family did. In response, when Boschi, in a repulsed manner, makes this remark out loud, Falin says this, gazing at elf guy with fascination:

“Oh my, how rude! I have no interest in such trivialities. Look…(gesturing to elf guy)….at that crystalline skin…those blue eyes…those elegantly shaped ears.”

“I want to keep beautiful things close to me…increase them in number…and share them with others…isn’t that human nature?”

she was the main culprit behind the kidnapping and unlike what the butlers were assuming, it was not for experimentation purposes (like the Sardis) but her desire to possess beautiful “things” and share them with others. not only does she keep the people of mr elf (locked up for her viewing) BUT she wanted to increase their number. now, what was the best way to do that?

breeding. she forced the really beautiful male and female captives to have children together, to produce even more beautiful children for they would be “more desired by clients”. now it’s kinda ambiguous whether she sold only the children or the adults too; but she did have the elf’s people sold to nobles for high prices. that’s the reason for the children being born mysteriously each night but never being seen or heard of.

(we don’t have information about who the nobles were but it could very well be to nobles anywhere. I don’t think their clients were majorly from the East since that would be risky for them. anyhow, i feel like information about who the nobles were will be revealed soon since investigation is still going on into the business.).

that’s how the Seiran family became so rich and influential in the first place (by human trafficking) so much so that even during the (current) wars that plagued the Eastern lands, the people governed by the Seiran family were always doing well, financially, were not impacted by the unsettlement in the East and were extremely fond of the Seiran family and grateful for their rule.

[the scene where Falin is waving and greeting the grateful civilians in carriage with Aruji and Muu becomes kind of unsettling when you think about it; the reason why the civilians could relish in security (financial + food + otherwise) was due to the money the Seiran family earned from trafficking. ]

[note: Seiran family’s “human trafficking” likely started when Falin married into the family (though we don’t know for sure from the main story.). I’m not negating Seiran family’s wealth in any way since they were nobility even 300 years ago, but their sudden wealth in the current years has been likely due to this business.]

after being exposed, the elf guy demands them to hand over his people but Falin says she had all of the “products” burnt on the orders of her husband.

[earlier, Falin’s husband told her in private that he wanted to discontinue this “business” of theirs now because now they had established their power and their kingdom was rich. so he wanted all evidence of their business destroyed. he was especially afraid now, after the Sardis family was exposed, stripped of their titles and now regarded as criminals.]

Aruji confirms that there had been no fire (they would have smelled the scent of such a huge fire or seen evidence of it), proving to elf guy that Falin was lying. She admits after giggling that she would never have her “products” harmed; she merely sent the products with her maids to her parent’s home.

[long story short; elf guy then threatens Falin in an attempt to make her show him where his people were, the huge bell rings (the one signaling angels arrival) and Falin leaves in the heat of the moment. elf guy runs after her, hot on her tail.]

she runs back to her castle, where she sees Seraphim and Cherubim. she is instantly entranced by their appearance, especially after they kill some of her men with their “light powers”.

she asks them to kill her; her ephemeral life was going to come to end someday, hence she’d rather it come to end with her last sight and the manner of her death both being beautiful. [her words, roughly.]

[note: she wanted to die by their light powers.]

Seraphim (after being weirded out 😭) agrees with a smirk. then he proceeds to stab her fatally (because he deemed her impertinent and arrogant for talking this way to an angel 😭). she slowly bleeds out as Seraphim and Cherubim leave with the cage full of elf guy’s people with them.

[elf’s people were seen being taken by the maids of Falin (by Cherubim and Seraphim above). after they saw the cage being transported, they killed her maids and men, and took the captives (the elf’s people) who offered no resistance since all the time in captivity had made them apathetic and out-of-it. Cherubim will likely use the captives for experimentation :(]

there, elf guy arrives; he had been waiting behind in the shadows, unable to step out because he knew the intelligent angels were stronger than the average angels and he wasn’t sure he could win in a fight against them. there, he sees Falin, lying in a pool of her blood, her face pointing to a mirror in the room, gazing at herself (covered in blood.).

elf guy (almost pitying her because he planned on killing her in a quick manner, not in the torturous way she was currently dying) asks her to look into his eyes. she looks at him before he kills her with one quick attack of his sword.

[he also almost pitied her for the fact her last sight was herself covered in blood and not something beautiful; beautiful things were something she had dedicated herself to, all her life. that’s why he asked her to look at him so her last sight could be him (someone she called extremely beautiful and showed a desire to possess), fulfilling her last wish.].

that’s how she dies, her last sight being “something” beautiful, right as she desired all this time.

now, with this out of the way, I’ll only be focusing on her.

Falin; her character and all the known information about her.

so Falin or ファリン was the Mistess of the Seiran family: the wife of the Master of the Seiran family. she was originally a noble woman from a small aristocratic family located in a mountainous region in the East; her family did not have much influence and it’s not known how she ended up marrying the Head of the Seiran family.

the first thing we learn about Falin, comes when Boschi notices her and remarks, in complete horror that she looks exactly like his mother. he goes further to add that even her voice was exactly like his mother’s; only her personality differed as his mother was timid by personality.

[you can just imagine the extent of how similar they looked for Boschi to feel so uncomfortable in her presence; unfortunately we have no description of how Boschi’s mother looked like to pin down Falin’s appearance. all we know is that Boschi’s mother’s hair had a beautiful lustre to it and was likely long. Boschi’s hair colour is something he inherited from his father so Falin’s hair colour isn’t blue. we can also guess since Boschi’s mother had a frail physique, Falin also had a similar one; she was also likely not too tall either and had a slim/skinny build.]

she married into the Seiran family. she is a descendant of a relative of Boschi’s mother; (Boschi said so himself). while his mother did die in the fire, she had relatives remaining in her village. Falin is a descendant of one such relative — this would explain her eerie similarity to his mother.

she was initially fascinated by Boschi’s appearance because “he is beautiful like Fubuki” — both are cold, strong and have one eye. [this made me crack up 😭 I’m sorry.]. we later learn from Finley that there were rumours that she had actually proposed to Fubuki a long time ago (to marry him) but was rejected by him.

there comes my next point! i think most fans got the impression that she was really young (like I did), being around the age of 25–30 but I believe this is wrong. we know from her interaction with Aruji and Muu (where she was amused when Muu called her young) that she is a bit older (not calling her old 😭) but her age may be (from the way she recalls her past experiences as the time she was “young”) around 30-45. I want to push it further from 30 but with the current canon content, I want to be careful just in case i end up wrong.

[also Boschi saw his mother for the first time when she was around her 40’s; I doubt someone in their 20’s could look so startling alike to someone in their 40’s. Boschi would have then added then that Falin looked like a more younger version of his mother: but he didn’t.

he said that their face, builds and voices were exactly the same; he could have added the age part too.]

A bit of background about East:

now i want to focus on East a bit and the standing women have/had:

women of the noble families in the East are regarded with little to no importance. they’re merely seen important for their ability to bear a potential male heir. Boschi further explained that they have no power or influence, live in seclusion, make no public appearance and have no political power (despite being mistresses of powerful noble families.).

an example of this is Bosci’s own mother. she was the third wife of his father, had no political power or influence and till her death lived in complete seclusion. because she hid the fact that she had a son, so a child-less wife was not important.

[the first wife killed the third wife and her son, after news of her son being born came out. the reason why the first wife had so much power to begin either is because she had a son earlier than the other wives and wasn’t willing for the other wives to have a chance for their son/s to be potential heirs.]

so for power, the women in noble families could and would sink pretty low.

now, with this in mind, let’s proceed!

Falin’s role and how she stood out:

Falin breaks many of the stereotypes that we have of the Eastern noble women in akuneko.

first of all, she’s the first and only wife of the master of the Seiran family (from what we know).

that’s extremely strange, especially considering the noble men from the east so far have been depicted to have more than one wife. [polygamy was common; Boschi says so himself. monogamy, on the other hand, was uncommon.]

what’s also strange is that she has no known children. she’s been married to the head of the Seiran family for quite a while yet from their interaction, the topic of children never came up. [keep in mind, this is set in a land and time where women are only regarded important for bearing a potential male heir. wars are still rampant and there are new noble families attempting to rise to power. if she couldn’t have children, her husband would have another wife already. but there’s a split chance her husband cannot have children, but that fact could have been used to oust him from power by a relative of his, from the Seiran family already.].

[so it’s unknown why they don’t have children or aren’t seeking to have them in a war struck region where male heirs are absolutely necessary for power.]

secondly, she had more authority/power (not on first glance) than her husband, the actual head of the family.

we know she (very likely) started the business of human trafficking; from how attached she was to it and how reluctant she was of letting go of it. she likely posed the business to her husband as a means of securing more influence and power in the Eastern lands (which is plagued by wars for power) but in actuality it was for her own twisted desire for “beautiful things”.

her husband acquiesced to her whims very easily. this can be seen by when brought up the subject of ending the business and destroying the “evidence”, she quickly managed to dissuade him with a little assuaging.

she even admitted in front of Aruji, Boschi, Ammon, her husband and elf guy that she manipulated her husband to follow her whims in this business.]

one other incident, which proves this is, when the butlers were told not to guard the master and mistress of the Seiran family (new guards of their own were assigned), she immediately went up to her husband and subtly hinted that she was “afraid” the new guards would not be able to protect her husband as well as the devil butlers (who have quite a reputation for their strength).

in actuality, she was not concerned about his safety (or even her own, to be honest.). she wanted the butlers by her side so she can gaze at their “beautiful faces “ while she went about her day. she did end up accomplishing that as her husband had the devil butlers reassigned only for her protection.

her influence over her husband can also be seen in when she manages to rope him into allowing her to dine with Aruji [instead of dining with him], in hopes of seeing the butlers from close enough (as they would be guarding Aruji right in their room) since she wasn’t getting enough opportunities to see them from close enough.

[it’s also interesting that her husband said that the devil butlers were invited to the Seiran’s residence because he was concerned for her safety, not his. he says this as a reminder to Falin, in one instance, (I guess trying to keep her in check because he was a bit suspicious of her and her intentions.).

so did she possibly manipulate her husband into inviting the butlers? it’s canon (in aknk’s story), that the devil butlers (while they are detested by people all around the world) are well known for both their beauty and strength. since we know she wasn’t concerned for her own life, could it be she invited them after hearing talks of their looks?]

moreover, unlike the noble women of her time, she was extremely confident and sly (in all matters, with all people, even strangers.).

ignoring her husband now and focusing on her interaction with the other characters:

when she saw Boschi for the first time, she approached him confidently, even inquiring about how he received the injury on his arm and eye. his attempts to reject her questions (rudely too) only brought her satisfaction and made her even more curious and him.

in the incident where she dined with Aruji, she had managed to convince Haures too, into allowing her to go inside Aruji’s room without informing them prior. and Haures genuinely seemed unable to deal with Falin and her persistent personality.

she switches her approach too, depending on who she’s dealing with: with her husband, it’s gentle, concerned and complacent; with the butlers, it’s persistent and clever.

even when she was revealed to be carrying out that business, she was calm and amused by Ammon and Boschi regarding her with hatred. even after that, she made one last further request to Aruji to capture elf guy in return for anything Aruji wanted (which they rejected.).

Extra:

I want to talk about one more incident where I loved the writer’s subtlety in showing Falin’s character:

it was when she wanted to have breakfast with Aruji instead of her husband; the reason she states for this was: that being surrounded by fully armed, “faceless men” (the guards) would make her not enjoy her breakfast. and that’s when she remembered the “faces of the butlers” (with whom she would be able to enjoy her food, since she liked their faces).

she could have said she wanted the company of Aruji or the butlers over the guards, or remembered them because she likes spending time with them or that they’re more amusing; any excuse could have passed. but she said she remembered the faces of the butlers and thought she would enjoy her food better with them in her presence.

[by the way, this was after the head of the guards was changed because the original one was injured; the temporary head of the guards made it a rule to wear armour that covered their faces as well i think?].

Lastly, it’s interesting how Falin, a mere mistress of the Seiran family has a name (despite the eastern noble women being put down in terms of power and influence) yet her husband was only “Master of the Seiran Family” throughout the story — all in all, to show how irrelevant he was and how he had no power or a role in the story, besides his title.

my own thoughts:

I mentioned in my previous post that I would like it if the writers could give more focus to the Seiran family, in particular, Falin.

how did a woman from a small aristocratic family end up marrying the master of a (relatively) bigger noble family and rope the master into following her desires? (if she did start the business of human trafficking) how did she convince the master of Seiran family?

also, what started her obsession with beauty? considering how rooted it is in her, did it start from her childhood? did her parents engrain it in her? [I can come up with loose reasons for almost every question in my mind but my mind goes blank for why Falin could have been so obsessed with beautiful people. she didn’t show much regard for riches either so why beauty of all subjects?]

(another thought that’s been on my mind) is that the killing of Boschi’s family was something well known in the aknk world; Berrien affirms this as well. so it’s unlikely that Falin’s ancestor (the one related to Boschi’s mother) did not know of the killing of Boschi’s mother.

how were Falin’s family okay with her marrying into the Seiran family when they were responsible for killing her family just 300 years ago? it’s unlikely they have forgotten it because (call me delusional) but I think they do keep records of everything (since the Eastern lands in aknk are loosely based off feudal japan.)

Or wait ✨! what if they (Falin’s parents) made her marry the Master of Seiran family because they believed it would be a good proposal for her (Seiran family being rich) and they could benefit from Seiran family’s riches too if Falin marries into them (their past bad blood be damned)?

and Falin knew of what the Seiran family did to hers years ago, which is why she doesn’t love or show any regard for the Master of the Seiran family ✨?

[I’ll shut up; these were mostly my own thoughts from what canon content I could scavenge. but I think even if this isn’t the truth (what I’ve proposed), it’s pretty close the truth. so I’ll settle with that.]

anyway, that’s it! i’ll pipe down now but that’s what I could piece together. please let me know if i got a fact wrong (as the length of the story does make it easy to confuse parts of it.)

i hope we learn more about Falin, her childhood and what led to her character becoming the way it is! if they don’t, I’m coming for studio wasabi ✨! have a wonderful day, anon (*^▽^*)!! i hope this was a good read!

and if there’s something you all want to add into what I’ve said, propose an alternative idea to what I’ve said, or correct me in something I said, please comment below or send me an ask. i don’t wish for incorrect information to be passed around, especially from my own mouth.

have a good day everyone! I love discussing the story content of aknk so feel free to send me asks anytime (*^▽^*)! please pray for me, (if you’re someone that prays) because my exam result is coming out tomorrow morning 😭)

#sol’s asks #akuneko #aknk #devil butler with black cat #あくねこ #main story spoilers #falin #aknk chapter 4 #🍀 anon!#if there’s a better localisation to any of the names I’ve mentioned please let me know!#and if I’ve stated anything canon wrong; please let me know #it’s one of my fears 😭#anyway anon; have a great day!#your ask made my day!#I actually got back from a trip the day you send me the ask #and I had such a horrible headache; migraine to be precise #I had written up the post the same day but I wasn’t sure my headache riddle mind had made no mistakes #so I took time with it

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smilesrobotlover · 1 year ago

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Whumptober day 29- troubled past resurfacing

Ammon meets Wild! It goes fantastic! :D (it doesn’t)

Warnings: panic, near vomiting, implied character death, bad vibes all around :(

~~~~~~~~~~

Wild observed the world around him, it all looking unfamiliar to him. He wasn’t sure what had happened, he was with the other heroes fighting a puppet who attacked Hyrule, until the world disappeared around him, and he was thrown into a forest. He walked around, hoping to find the others, but there was no one there. At least it was a normal forest, with animals bouncing around and watching him cautiously as he stepped on leaves and twigs. When he finally left the forest and entered a field, he saw that this place wasn’t his Hyrule, but it did have a castle and villages scattered across it, so he was sure that he was in one of the other’s Hyrule. Which meant that they were here, they had to be. He started walking towards the nearest village, it looking like a ranch of sorts, until he got a strange sense of deja vu. He looked behind him and stared at trees, wondering why he was suddenly getting this feeling.

“Link!”

Wild spun around and was pulled into a tight hug. He was surprised at the sudden hug, and he wondered who could be embracing him like this without any warning. The person had short hair that was only slightly darker than his own, and he seemed to have a Sheikah prosthetic replacing his left arm. Wild didn’t dare reciprocate, he didn’t know anyone who looked like this. The person pulled back and Wild was able to see his face, and he felt his whole body go numb. Blue eyes that matched his own stared back at him, and a relieved smile was on his face.

“I finally found you, my boy! I was so worried when I heard about the puppeteer abducting you, I’ve been searching for you for ages now—“

Wild only stared in shock as the man continued to ramble. His face, his expressions, his scruffy beard around his mouth, it all felt so comforting and so… familiar. Soon, Wild’s whole world disappeared around him, his stomach flipped as the familiar feeling of remembering an old memory came in. Wild closed his eyes as the world around him was spinning, making him dizzy and nauseous, until it was finally over, and a feeling of dread rested within his stomach.

Link was running to a gatehouse, his grip around Zelda’s hand tightening, making sure that she didn’t fall behind. The monsters behind them were closing in and Link could hear their snarling and grunting as if they were right in front of him. He ignored the feeling of fear and picked up his pace, practically dragging poor Zelda across the cobblestone bridge. He saw soldiers opening up the gate and calling for them, and both the knight and the princess safely made it inside. He heard orders being given, and then he heard explosions. One of the cannons blew up the monsters pursuing him and Zelda, and the gate was closed.

The princess started gagging, trying to catch her breath from running so fast, and Link gently rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry Zelda,” he whispered, struggling to catch his breath as well. “I’m sorry.”

Zelda only gasped in response, doing everything in her power not to throw up. The soldiers around them got to their side, some comforting the princess, while the others huddled around Link, making sure he was alright.

“You’re safe here, for now,” one of the men reassured, looking out through the gate.

“Yes, for now. But if those guardians find out where we are—“

“Shush!”

The soldiers looked at Zelda who was now crying, and they grew silent for a bit.

“Our main priority is to protect the princess.”

Link turned around to see who said that, and he saw his father. He was disheveled, with his Royal guard outfit ripped all over. His hat was missing, and he had a deep cut on his cheek, but his blue eyes were soft when they looked at Link.

“F-father,” Link stammered, and his father knelt down at his side.

“Link, I’m so happy to see you’re alive.”

Link almost broke down sobbing right there, but he stopped himself. He was surrounded by soldiers who depended on him, he needed to keep his composure.

“S-s-sir Ammon,” Zelda choked out. She sat up, still shaking rather violently. “M-my father… is he…?”

Ammon’s eyes filled with deep sorrow, and he looked down.

“I’m sorry princess. The king… he’s… the king is dead.”

Zelda gasped, tears flooding her eyes. She bent over sobbing, curling up on herself while Link covered his mouth in horror. The king was dead, the castle was overrun, Ganon…. He won. Link buried his face in his hands. How could he have let this happen? He was the hero. He had the Master sword. They had all the champions, the divine beasts and the guardians, how could they…?

A horrific realization hit Link. Ganon took control of the guardians, so what about the divine beasts? Were the champions…. Were they alright?

Ammon’s hand rested on Link’s back, grounding him. Tears pricked at his eyes as the realization that everything was falling apart. His whole life, his home, his friends, how would they even survive this?

“Link, princess Zelda, I need you both to listen to me,” Ammon said softly but firmly, “you two need to run as far away from the castle as possible. You’re our last hope. With the master sword and Zelda’s sealing power, we may be able to win this—“

“How? How can we win this?” Zelda yelled, practically hysterical, “I couldn’t unlock my sealing power then, how—how can I unlock it now?”

Ammon gripped her upper arm, staring into her emerald green eyes. She stopped shaking slightly and stared back at him.

“You can do it, I know you can,” he said. Zelda looked at Link and he nodded as well. She took a deep breath and nodded herself. Ammon smiled and continued, “Now, we will hold off the monsters so you both can escape safely but—“

“Wait,” Link stopped his father. “You’re not coming with us?”

“You’re going to need all the help you can get Link. We will hold off the guardians and monsters so you and Zelda will escape, ok?”

“I—I can't leave you!”

“You’re going to have to, Link!” Ammon nearly yelled, grabbing both his arms and looking straight into his eyes. Link was struggling to compose himself, the very thought of leaving his father behind made him want to throw up. He couldn’t do that. He was his father. The two stared at each other for a while, Link’s eyes growing wet at the thought of never seeing him again. Ammon’s hand rested on Link’s cheek and he smiled at his son. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the chilling sound of a laser being shot.

“GUARDIANS!” One of the soldiers yelled, and a laser shot through the gate, destroying most of the gatehouse except for the back. Ammon grabbed both Link and Zelda and dragged them out of the gatehouse.

“Wait, father—“ Link tried to beg, gripping onto his arms as if his life depended on it. Ammon gave him one last look before gathering him into a hug.

“I love you so much Link,” Ammon’s voice shook, and he gave his son a firm kiss on the head. Link started crying when he let go, and he was shoved harshly away from him. The gate in the back was shut closed, and Link was separated from his father.

“NO!” Link shouted, and he sprinted to the closed gate. Ammon turned away and faced the guardian that broke into the gatehouse. Link screamed as he heard lasers shooting left and right, begging to be let in, begging for his father to survive.

“Link!”

Link turned and saw Zelda trying to pull him away. More guardians were coming, and Link knew that he needed to leave. Zelda’s safety was his priority now, he needed to keep her safe. He wiped his eyes and grabbed Zelda’s hand, sprinting away from the fallen gatehouse. He pushed his emotions down and kept running. He kept running even when his legs burned, even when his lungs and throat burned, even when he wanted to fall and curl up in his grief, he kept running.

And running.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Link! Link, snap out of it!”

Ammon shook his son gently, trying to get him to open his eyes. He didn’t know what happened, he found his son, he hugged him, and then he spaced out, almost as if he was dreaming. But it seemed more like a nightmare he was going through. His face was pinched in pain, and tears started streaming down his eyes, but his eyes stayed closed. Ammon stepped back, trying to figure out what to do. Link had never done this before, in fact, Ammon had never seen anything like this, so he just sat there, panicking as his son cried. Finally, he opened his eyes with a gasp. He looked around, dazed and confused, until his eyes landed on Ammon.

“Link?” Ammon said softly, and his boy took a step back. “Link? What’s going on?”

Link turned on his heel and started walking away, hugging himself. Ammon blinked, surprised at his reaction.

“Link— Link wait!” Ammon called out, grabbing his son’s arm, and Link pulled against him harshly. Ammon stared at his wet face, tears streaming down his face, his hair sticking to his cheeks.

“P-please,” Link whispered, his voice shaking, “it hurts too much.”

Ammon’s mouth fell open, what hurt? What hurt too much?

“Link?”

“Father?”

Ammon turned around and gasped. It was… Link? No but Link was right in front of him, right? Ammon observed the boy right in front of him and noticed the scars. How did he notice them now? The scars were all too familiar to Ammon, scars from guardian lasers, he bore his own on his nub of an arm. Confusion hit Ammon, and he let go of the boy in front of him, who ripped away and sprinted into the forest. Ammon stood there in shock, watching as the crying boy disappeared.

“Father?” His son said more quietly. Ammon turned slowly to him, confusion apparent on his face.

“Who—who was that?” Ammon asked in a quiet voice. Link pursed his lips and looked down.

“We call him Wild. He… he’s from the future where… the calamity won.”

Realization hit Ammon like a brick wall, and he covered his mouth.

“Oh—oh goddesses.” Ammon turned back to the forest where Wild ran, despair overwhelming him. “Oh goddesses…”

Link came up behind him and rested his hand on Ammon’s shoulder.

“You didn’t know,” he said softly, and tears welled up in Ammon’s eyes.

That poor boy…

Link pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back gently while Ammon played the events through his head.

“Oh that poor boy,” he whimpered, and Link gave him a tighter squeeze.

“You didn’t know,” he said again, and the two held each other after being apart for so long.

#oof #smiles writes #whumptober #whumptober 2023 #whumptober day 29 #I don’t have tomorrow’s written ! 😃👍#and I do inventory tonight AAAUGH #anyways uh #this one is sad #link between links #lbl Wild #lbl age #strangers across eras

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kylelovskii · 1 year ago

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Hey! So lately I've been thinking about Kyle x (fem) reader who is like really abusive but it's because her drinking problem and all her unhealthy relationships she's been in which Kyle finds out moments before he was about to break up with her because of her abusive behaviour and instead of breaking up he decided to try to help her somehow.

(Aged up ofc) A little fucked up idea but if you feel comfortable with writing something like that I would be grateful!

girl i was made for this don’t even worry 😭😭

this is so good i love it

thank you for requesting!

yes the title is the title of a smiths song 😒🤚

TW GUYSS!! abuse, slapping, alcohol abuse, yelling, arguing, humongous toxic relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of drug abuse

this night has opened my eyes

kyle could only imagine what awaited him when he opened the front door of your shared home. would you be drinking? would you just be angry no matter what? or would today be a good day and this break up'll go a bit smoother than planned?

hint: it’s not the last two.

before kyle could even put his hand on the door knob, he heard your loud voice erupt from the other side.

"quit fucking contacting me! i will never ever be with you ever again!"

maybe if he was quiet he could sneak past you. he slowly turned the door knob and stepped inside the house.

there you were, shaking a beer bottle near the phone to emphasize to the person on the other end how bad you’ve turned out. "you hear that?" you asked. "that’s fucking beer. i’ve turned into you now. and you wanna know who has to endure it? kyle! big fucking whoop."

kyle didn’t want to move. you were drunk off your ass, you’d definitely see him sneak by. out of being scared and all, he couldn’t help but wonder who you were talking to, but he didn’t have to wonder for much longer.

"you’ve turned me into this, stan. i don’t know why the hell you’re crying."

when kyle heard his best friends name, he squeaked, causing you to be alert and turn around. you stared at him and said, "stan, don’t ever call me again. bye." you hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.

beer sloshing all around in the bottle, you stormed over to kyle and grabbed him by his curly, red hair. "what the fuck are you doing, you little eavesdropper!?" you shouted, dragging him to the middle of the living room and throwing him down on the floor. "n—nothing! i wasn’t eavesdropping! i just got home, i swear!" as kyle laid on the floor, he put his hands up in defense. nothing had to be said, everything about him was already begging for mercy.

"you swear, huh?" you took a swig of beer. "if you swear, then why the hell were you still there when i looked!?" you screamed, slapping him on the 'hell' part of your sentence. he cried and put his hands over his face, trying to prevent you from striking his freckled face again. his glasses were scattered across the floor from how hard you hit him, and his cheek was starting to turn a peachy pink.

"i was scared to move! please, i won’t do it again!"

guess there would be no break up tonight. just a good beating and make up sex probably.

"yeah, yeah. i won’t do it again! i promise, i didn’t mean to! i was scared! that’s all i hear from you, wimp! you’re like a little girl. why can’t you act like a man and take a few punches, huh? why are you crying? why are you shaking like a damn leaf? nothin' to be scared of. im just g'nna hit ya a few times, teach you a lesson." your words were starting slur, yet you sounded more intimidating by the second. "you have to realize i will never take it easy on you. you have to realize i will only get worse until someone fixes me. until you realize that, you are useless. you are just another doll to punch."

kyle’s hands moved away from his face, hot tears staining his perfect cheeks. his breath was shaky along with his whole body. he always thought, deep deep down, you loved him, that he was the man you were gonna marry. he was wrong of course, but maybe there was still a possibility.

maybe that’s why he said, "but, (y/n), i love you."

that stunned you. your beer bottle dropped to the plush carpet, the intoxicating liquid seeping into the brown softness. your mouth formed a small 'o', and a single tear fell from your eye onto kyle’s face.

"you..you what?"

"i love you. i do. i’ll fix you. i will help you."

"no…no you won’t. you’re just too scared t'leave."

"no, i want to help you. i understand now. you’re not like this just for kicks. you’re just sick and in need of a cure, and i’m that cure."

"quit fuckin' talking like that!" you rose up your hand and struck kyle again. kyle let out a cry and screamed for you to stop. he was telling the truth, he wanted to help you. a break up would do no good for you. you would just go repeat this cycle with someone else.

kyle grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pulled your face closer to his tear stained one. "i want to help you," he firmly said, his voice strained and high pitched from all the crying. your tears kept coming just like his, but you ignored them.

you yanked yourself from his grasp, getting off the floor and standing up straight. "get up," you told kyle and he scrambled to his feet. "please, (y/n)." kyle took your hand in his, pulling you back to him. you looked delirious. the under of your eyes purple, a bruise here and there from kyle trying to defend himself almost every night, your eyes red from crying, and your breath disgusting from all the booze you’ve downed today.

you just stared at him, your eyes going soft and half lidded. kyle slid a hand up to hold your face. he pecked your lips, the taste nauseating him, but he loved you nonetheless.

"you, uh, never told me your relationship with stan was bad like that," he said, giving you a sympathetic look. you sighed and shook your head. "he drank. a lot, as you may know, and he hurt me. mentally and physically. one thing led to another, i started drinkin' too. one day i came home, he tried to start somethin', and i beat the living shit out of him," you explained, but that wasn’t it.

"after stan was kenny, and he was on drugs. he drank a little too, but not as bad as me. he beat me, i beat him, then i ran away and went to cartman. i think cartman was the worst. with him, i could never fight back, so i just sat around, a fuckin' alcoholic with cuts and bruises all over me. i tried to break things off with him tons of times, but then he’d just beat me and then fuck me as an apology. i liked the sex, so that became a habit of mine with you." you sighed and cupped kyle’s face. "but you— you were different. you didn’t try to hurt me. but out of habit, i hurt you."

kyle just looked at you in shock. he never knew any of his friends were huge pieces of shit like that. except for cartman. kyle knew stan drank, but he didn’t know he beat his girlfriend. and he had no idea kenny was addicted to drugs.

but he understood now, you weren’t just mad for no reason with a hatred for the world. you were hurting, and you were being the only way you knew how to be.

kyle looked i to your eyes and saw something switch. you pushed him away and sank to your knees, sobbing. "kyle, just go! you feel sorry because i’m just another poor girl. you just want to help me because you’re sorry, not because you love me," you choked out. kyle sank to his knees in front of you. "no, i want to help you. i love you, i do. we’ll find you a good therapist. we’ll throw out all the beer. we can go to counseling. maybe get you into anger management or something. i will fix you. i’ll do whatever it takes."

you looked up at him, face drenched in tears. he was putting on his glasses back on and wiping all his tears away. "kyle, do you know how much money that’ll be?" you sobbed. this was no use. he couldn’t help you.

"we have the money. i promise. i’ll find you someone, and i’ll find someone for us. we’ll get you a new phone number so stan’ll stop calling you. i promise, you will get better, and i will be there every step of the way," kyle reassured and put his hands on your shoulders, giving them a good squeeze. "i know i keep telling you, but i love you. i—i wanna marry you."

"kyle, i just slapped you twice, and you wanna marry me?"

"yes i do," he chuckled. "please, just say it back. i love you."

you sighed, smiled, and shook your head. "i love you too, kyle. maybe if your plan is successful, we’ll have a white picket fence too." you laughed, looking at kyle, your tears drying. kyle laughed too and kissed you. it felt like love. it sounds weird, but to the both of you, it was the best way to describe it.

kyle stood up and stretched his hand out to you. "let’s clean you up and get this beer off the floor. you look like you haven’t slept in weeks," kyle said, putting an arm around you and leading you to the bathroom.

after cleaning you up and the mess on the living room, you looked like the pretty girl kyle remembered falling in love with.

"ky, can we please go t'bed. i’m tired as shit," you slurred, stumbling around in his arms. kyle swooped you up bridal style and took you to your shared bedroom. he gently laid you down in bed, then crawled in beside you.

as you drifted off, you quietly said, "kyle i’m s'sorry for the way i’ve treated you..please fix me."

kyle could only smile and kiss your head as you finally got some good rest.

#x reader #south park #south park x reader #kyle broflovski #toxic #toxic behavior #toxic ex #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #kenny mcormick x reader #south park kenny #kyle broflovski x reader

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chickensarentcheap · 1 year ago

Text

In a Heartbeat- Chapter Five

Fandom: Extraction

PAIRING: TYLER RAKE AND ESME DRUMMOND (ESTABLISHED OFC)

SUMMARY: Dhaka nearly ended everything before it even began. In it’s aftermath and with Tyler’s life teetering on the threshold between life and death, Esme is about to realize just how strong she can be. And that love happens when it happens. There’s no rules. No rhyme or reason. No timeline.

Warnings: brief mention of sex toys and kinks (butt plugs, dildos, pegging. But not in the way you think lol)

Tagging: @tragiclyhip @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid @munstysmind @themaradwrites @ninjasawakenedmystar @thebejeweledwatercat @alisbackalleybbq @theesirenteller @karimac @kmc1989 @asirensrage @residentdormouse @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciation @occommunity

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48691714/chapters/129441475

My tag list is OPEN. Please just ask to be added if you'd like :D

****

“Okay…” Slipping off his coat, Tyler surveys his surroundings, greeting a waiting and ecstatic Lucy with a vigorous rub of the head. “...now it’s all starting to make sense.”

Esme sets both the wheeled suitcase and duffle bag by the door, then drops her hobo-style handbag on the kitchen table. “What’s making sense?”

“Why none of those pictures from the ‘net showed the inside of this place.”

Shrugging out of her jacket, she removes her beanie and tosses both aside; shaking out her long, dark tresses before placing her hands on her hips and surveying their surroundings. “It’s not THAT bad. It’s quaint. Cozy. Cute.”

“You realize that’s wood panelling on the walls, yeah?”

“Okay, so it kind of reminds me of my grandparents’ basement. Which they haven’t remodelled since the early seventies. But I’ve seen worse. I’ve LIVED in worse.”

“Is this where you tell me about your time in some rat-infested dump in New York City?”

“New York isn’t as horrible as you make it out to be. I would have given up an organ, even a limb, to land something right in the city. A walk-up apartment in an old brownstone. That was always my dream. To have a cute little place like Carrie Bradshaw’s.”

“Who?”

“Carrie Bradshaw. The main character in Sex and the City? Played by Sarah Jessica Parker? She’s married to Matthew Broderick? You know, the guy who was Ferris Bueller?”

“I have no goddamn clue who any of these people are.”

“You’ve never heard of Sex and the City? Have you been living in a cave? Cooking over an open fire? Throwing random women over your shoulder and carrying them back for sexy time?”

Smirking, he removes his beanie. “That’s how I landed you, wasn’t it?”

“You landed me with your pretty blue eyes and your sexy voice and your big dick.”

“You’re nothing if not honest.”

“Carrie is a writer,” Esme continues, holding the back of a kitchen chair to keep it steady as he lowers himself into it. “She writes about relationships and sex and life in the Big Apple. And she’s got her little posse; Miranda, the fiercely independent lawyer, Charlotte the die-hard romantic, longing to find true love, Samantha the big-time slut who loves men just a little too much. She was my favourite, by the way.”

“Makes sense. What’s that saying? Something about birds of a feather flocking together?”

She scowls. “Well, that’s just plain rude.”

“If you ask me, the show sounds like it’s for girls.”

“Plenty of men loved it. Mostly gay men, but…” Retreating to the middle of the living room, she places a hand on her hip, eyes narrowing as she taps the tip of her index against her lips.. “...I see the potential here. It’s not a lost cause. And it’s definitely not hideous. It’s just…”

“It’s ugly, and you know it.”

“Dated. It’s dated.”

“It’s not a person. You can say what you really feel. You can’t hurt its feelings.”

“I thought you, of all people, would love something like this. This is a five-star resort compared to where you were living when I met you.”

“I’ll have you know that I built that place myself. By hand.”

“And I’m extremely proud of you, and I find it very sexy when a man is great with his hands. In all the best possible ways. But babe, you had no interior walls, most of your windows didn’t close properly, and you had chickens as roommates. Believe me, this is a step up.”

“So what you’re saying is that it’s a ‘no’ to chickens in the house. Kinda ruins my plans.”

“As much as I’d rather NOT be constantly picking up their shit, I’ll deal. Only because I know how much you love the mangey little bastards. But they are NOT sleeping in bed with us.”

“What about night’s you’re not here?”

“It’s unlikely we’ll encounter nights like those, but IF it happens? You better make sure you change the damn sheets before I get home. You totally slept with your chickens before you met me, didn’t you. You totally let them in the bed.”

“Once in a while.”

“So which one of you was the little spoon? Or did you alternate every second night?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a really smart mouth?”

“No. But I have been told how extremely talented it is.”

“That I CAN’T argue with. I definitely have no complaints.”

“Even if you did, I wouldn’t listen to them. So…” Tugging playfully on his ears, she lays a hand on the nape of his neck and steps around to the side of the chair. “...what do you think? About this place? I know it isn’t as bougie as you’re used to, but…”

Reaching under the bottom of her shirt, he hooks a finger in one of the belt loops on her jeans and pulls her down onto his left thigh. “It’s tolerable. For now.” Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, his hand moves to her stomach, calloused palm flat against warm, smooth skin. “Until we’re able to get around to doing stuff.”

“Nik says it’s all ours. We can do whatever we want with it. I know it’s not going to be a permanent place for us, but…”

“I mean, it could be. If that’s what you wanted.”

“I just assumed you’d want to go home. That we’d end up in Australia.”

“We can end up wherever you want. I have no ties to ANY place. Just say where you want to go, and that’s where we’ll head.”

“It’s definitely something we’ll have to talk about. I can’t really decide something like THAT all on my own. You need to have a say in it, too. It’s not just me that deserves to be happy.”

“I’m happy as long as you are. Just say where you want to go. We’ll go.”

“As cute and sappy as that is…”

“You did NOT just use the c and the s word to describe me. In the SAME sentence.”

“...we both know it doesn’t work that way. That if you just follow me somewhere with no say, things would not end well. So we’ll talk about it. When we’re ready to make a decision like that. Sound good?”

“Whatever you say.”

“Goddamn, you’re difficult.”

“I thought I was being pretty easy and reasonable. What more do you want from me?”

“We both need to do a lot of work when it comes to being in a relationship.”

“Please don’t suggest therapy. I’ve had enough therapy in the past two months to last me a lifetime.”

“No therapy. I might get you to read some self-help books or listen to some podcasts…”

“Get off me.”

“That’s a request you usually don’t make,” she quips, then laughs and tightens her hold on him when he attempts to push her off his lap. “Baby, you’re so cute. Even when you’re being a grumpy shit.”

He smirks. “Fuck off, Esme.”

“You need a nap.” Placing a kiss on his temple, she affectionately tousles his hair and stands. “Or something to eat. Maybe both. Are you hangry, Tyler James? Are you hangry and sweepy?”

“Yes.”

“I’m just going to take a quick look around and then make us something to eat. And you’ve got meds to take. You’re due.”

“I’m fine.”

“You know what the doctor said. About making sure you keep on schedule. If you don’t do that…”

“The pain will really set in, and it’ll be harder to get rid of it. I was there. I heard him.”

“Then quit being so difficult. You don’t need to be an insufferable asshole twenty-four-seven.”

“Yes, I do. I have a reputation to keep.”

“Believe me, your reputation isn’t going anywhere. Not everyone can survive what you did. I think you cemented your legend status.”

“By the way, how does that make you feel about things?”

She pauses in the doorway of the spare bedroom. “What things?”

“Life, in general. Knowing you’re spending your life fucking a legend.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know, would I? Considering I haven’t fucked him since he got the title.”

With a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, he snatches the discarded beanie from the middle of the table. “You can be a real bitch, you know that?”

“Now THAT I do know.” She laughs as she effortlessly dodges the hat thrown in her direction. “Give me a few minutes, and then I’ll make something to eat. You won’t starve in the meantime.”

“You’re actually going to subject me to your cooking the first day in?”

Scowling, she disappears into the second bedroom. Several seconds passing before just her hand appears in the doorway in order to flip him the middle finger.

His fingers alternate between slipping through Lucy’s short, smooth fur and scratching her favourite spot directly under her chin. Listening as Esme’s feet -clad in thick, mismatched woollen socks move over the weathered and creaking floorboards. Hearing intermittent soft clicking and the sliding of wood against wood as she inspects dresser and nightstand drawers. And when it finally falls silent, he calls out to her. “Anything interesting?”

“Whoever lived here before us were total freaks! I just found a whole load of gigantic dildos in the bedside table! And one of those harnesses a woman wears. You know, when she does her man up the…”

“Esme…”

“I don’t see any lube though. I guess we’re not trying pegging tonight.”

“Don’t even THINK about it.”

“What would you say if I came to bed and had a butt plug in with a raccoon’s tail hanging off it?”

“I’d call you a freak and kick you out onto the couch.”

She gives a disgruntled, dramatic huff, then appears in the doorway. “You’re boring.”

“You certainly weren’t saying that two nights ago when we almost got caught by the night nurse. While you were giving me…”

“Like, no pegging with giant dildos and no raccoon tail butt plugs? I swear, a girl can’t have ANY fun.”

“If that’s your idea of fun, you’ve got the wrong guy.”

“Don’t worry, big boy.” She shoots him a wink as she pads through the small, open-concept living room and kitchen. “There’s nothing to be scared of. I’ll be gentle with you.”

“You even come near me with one of those things…”

“I was joking. I didn’t find a damn thing. Which is incredibly disappointing. I was hoping some eccentric weirdo lived here before and left some wild shit behind.”

“Have you looked around this place? The panelling? Fucking knick-knacks all over the place? A goddamn deer head on the wall? Does any of that scream eccentric weirdo do you?”

“It could have been to throw off visitors. Convince innocent, unsuspecting people that they were completely normal. You know, so they could drug their coffee and tea in order to knock them out and hide them in their sex dungeon!”

“I think it’s safe to say that no one normal lives here NOW. Well, one of us might be considered somewhat sane.”

“Don’t worry. Your secret's safe with me. I won’t tell anyone you’re a psycho.”

She opens the door to the main bathroom and pokes her head inside. Fingernails tapping against the wall as she makes approving noises and comments about the brand new shower, tub, sink, and toilet. Then proceeds to curse and grumble about having to DEFINITELY change the flooring and the colour of the walls.

“I think we both know I’m the only somewhat normal one around here.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” She moves to the master bedroom, mere seconds passing before she gives a loud gasp. “Oh my god….TYLER!”

“Let me guess, you found the sex dungeon.”

“Even better!” She appears in the doorway, eyes sparkling and dancing as she gives an excited squeal and bounces up and down on her heels. “It’s bigger than I expected!”

“Didn’t you say those exact words in Dhaka? The first time I dropped my pants?”

“I was pleasantly surprised. That you exceeded even MY lofty expectations.”

“What did you find? I swear if it’s anything remotely related to me taking something up the ass…”

“Nothing like that! You need to see it! It’s enormous!”

“You don’t have another guy stashed in there, do you?”

“I can barely handle the one I already have. Why would I want the extra stress? Seriously, come and see this.”

“I know what a bedroom looks like.”

“It’s not just the room that’s bigger and better than I thought it would be! It’s the bed! It takes up so much space, and there’s still lots of room to spare. Please just come and take a look? Because I asked so nicely? Pretty please? I know how much you love to make me happy.”

“For someone so tiny, you’re an enormous pain in my ass,” he grumbles, yet shoots her a wink. A hand on the table top as he slowly pushes himself up onto his feet; fighting back a wince as even the most careful of movements bring almost unbearable agony. Too much time spent on his ass during the flight and the long drive from Vienna to the cabin; his knee feeling tight and swollen and in desperate need of relief.

“As soon as we eat, you put your leg up,” Esme informs him, as he joins her in the doorway. “It’s not good to go this long without elevating it. And you WILL take your meds.”

“While I’d normally argue with you and tell you I’m fine…”

“That’s how I know it’s bad. You’re NOT giving me a hard time.”

“I’ll be okay. Just he assures her, and places a hand on the back of her neck, his lips meeting her temple as his fingers massage the stiff, tight muscles. “Just need to rest it.”

For months she’s held onto an enormous amount of stress and tension; those long, trying days and nights spent at his bedside, fighting back against the doctors who had already declared him a lost cause and wanted to just pull the plug. But she’d held on there despite the pressure dumped upon her, digging her heels in even further and refusing to break to their demands. They weren’t using him as a sacrifice to the healthcare system Gods; they’d have to find another way to ‘free up a bed’.

“She’s going to break sooner or later,” Nik had warned him just days before his release. “She’s been shouldering all of this for three quarters of a year. I’ve been around some very tough people, but none as tough as THAT. She can’t keep it up, Tyler. She just can’t. We all break at one point or another. And when her time comes, you’re going to have to be there for her. Because she’ll need you. So you better be sure that you’ll step up.”

One of her tiny hands falls on the small of his back as he sticks his head into the master. “What do you think? It’s huge, right?”

“Definitely bigger than I expected. The room AND the bed.”

She playfully smacks his ass, grinning up at him as she tightly squeezes a cheek through the fabric of his pants. “You know how much I love a large playground.”

“Speaking of playtime, when do I get my surprise?”

“Patience is a virtue, old fella.”

“For who?”

“The virtuous, I guess. Besides, I thought you were hungry. And tired. And sore.”

“I am. I’m all three of those. But…” He hastily removes the sling from his left arm, tearing open the velcro fasteners and tossing the object onto the dresser. Not giving her a chance to respond, he grabs hold of her hips and uses his much larger, heavier frame to propel her backwards into the room.

“We’re really going to give it a go, are we? Right this second?”

“No time like the present. I’ve been wanting to give it a go since we left the hospital. Even BEFORE that. I was going to say something on the plane; about joining the mile-high club, but…”

“Been there, done that.”

He frowns, pausing as he leans in to kiss her, their lips a hair’s width apart.

“You’re not the only one with a past, Tyler Rake.”

“Did he teach you anything good?”

“He taught me a few things.” Her hands slide up the front of his henley shirt, chestnut eyes locked on brilliant blue as she softly drags the nails of her index across his stomach. Beginning their lazy journey at his belt buckle and finally finishing at each of his hips. “Who do you think is responsible for this mouth being so talented?”

“As much as I hate even thinking about you with other guys, I want his name and address. So I can send him a thank you card. And a case of beer. You know, just a small token of gratitude.”

“And seeing as he didn’t give a shit about what I needed to feel good, I figured I’d let you teach me the rest.”

“I’m honoured.”

“You should be. I’ve already let you go where no man has ever dared to go before.”

“Only because you asked me if I would. Can’t believe it only took two days.”

“What can I say…” She catches him off guard by pushing him backwards, pinning him between her body and the dresser as she aggressively yanks open his belt. “...you have that effect on me.”

“I realize I’m still hurting, and I got a long way to go, but don’t think for a second you get to be the boss. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Who are you kidding?” She pops open the button on his pants. “I’m always the boss.”

Smirking, he snatches her by the throat, fingers lightly pressing into the soft, delicate flesh as he pushes her towards the bed. And she gives a gasp of surprise when the back of her knees hit the edge of the mattress, giggling when she loses her balance and topples backwards.

She pushes herself up onto her elbows. a slow grin spreading from ear to ear as she watches him quickly dispose of both knee brace and pants and hastily toss them into the nearest corner. “No underwear, huh? You WERE hopeful.”

“Easy access. For both of us.”

“Even in this weather. I’m surprised your balls didn’t freeze off. That would have been a goddamn Greek tragedy.”

“They’re still a little. If you can warm them up. It’ll keep you quiet for a while.”

“Kinky.” She laughs when he grabs hold of the bottom of her jeans; falling backward when he aggressively pulls her towards him. “You ARE eager.”

“Things are working. You said yourself, it’s been hit or miss. Well, right now it's a hit, so…” He yanks both the denim and her skimpy lace underwear over her hips and ass and down her legs. “...let’s not waste time. Just in case.”

“Aren’t you even going to wait? For me to get your surprise on?”

“Nope.” He shoves her thighs open. “Right now, I don’t care. We’ll do that later.”

“Two times in one day? Someone is feeling awful cocky.”

“It’s my cock that’s feeling something. Don’t worry, you’ll be feeling it soon too.”

She opens her mouth to respond but quickly bites down on the bottom lip as he makes his way up her body; a mixture of calloused palms, the roughness of his beard, and the press of warm, soft lips. Thick fingers -with their various scars and misshapen knuckles- digging into the back of her thighs as he licks, sucks, and nibbles his way along the insides of her legs. And though disappointed when he ignores the most desperate and aching of parts, she still manages a giggle when he pulls her surgical steel navel ring into his mouth and lightly yanks at it with his teeth.

No one has ever worshipped her the way he does. The attention and focus he displays while paying homage to her body; the fire in her very bones and nerves growing in intensity with every swipe of his tongue and suckle of his lips and every caress and group of her hands. Selfless and never selfish, even when his own wants and needs are profound and overwhelming. Forever paying keen attention to the way she responds to him. Learning through every sigh and moan, every flinch and shiver, the differences in tone and pitch when she says his name. And somehow always knowing exactly what she needs.

By the time he reaches her lips, she’s desperate for so much more, nails raking across his shoulders and down his back, hips continuously rising to meet his in an unspoken request. When he finally kisses her, she moans into his mouth, and her hands find his hair; her fingers immediately tunnelling through the longer strands as she responds eagerly and hungrily. But when he pulls away to look down at her, there’s a tenderness in his eyes that she isn’t prepared for. An affection and adoration that softens his features and enables her to truly ‘see’ him for the first time. And suddenly, he seems far removed from the hardened and highly skilled mercenary that she had initially fallen in love with. Instead replaced by a previously broken and haunted man who’s in the midst of the most important transformation of his entire life.

The healing of both body AND mind.

“I love you.”

It brings tears to her eyes. The sincerity in those three simple, yet powerful words.

“More than you’ll ever know.”

The sob escapes her before she has the chance to bite it back, and she quickly finds herself gathered into strong arms and a broad chest. His body is warm and hard against hers, and his hands are steady yet comforting as they lovingly stroke her hair and repeatedly caress her back.

It’s all so foreign and overwhelming. Completely unlike anything she’s ever known or experienced. He’s reliable. Protective. Making her feel safe and secure in ways no one else ever has.

And in that moment, she’s sure of one thing. She’s never been loved like this, either.

*****

He feels sleepy and content as he lounges on the couch; his bad leg -once more sporting the knee brace- stretched out, foot resting on the coffee table. Both body and mind sated by a successful -if not disappointingly short- love making session that ended up more slow and tender than he’d originally anticipated. It had been followed by a hot shower and a surprisingly good meal that Esme had been incredibly proud of; a simple pasta and meat sauce dish paired with salad and garlic toast. Now he alternates between watching football and listening to his girlfriend as she busies herself in the kitchen. Lucy refusing to leave her side; more than pleased with the morsels of food she’d been slipped under the table. And with the seemingly endless amount of ear rubs and hair ruffles and chin scratches that are passed her way.

It’s the most relaxed he’s been in years. The warmth of the fire as snow trickles down outside, the rattling of dishes and silverware, and the way Esme alternates between humming as she works and talking to Lucy in a quiet, motherly way. The fear is starting to fade; the realization setting in that not only this is his life now, but he’s good with it. Not entirely accepting of the fact he’s retired; remaining somewhat concerned about where he goes -professional speaking- from here. But he feels safe and secure in the knowledge that knowing that Esme is under the same roof. Wanting and needing him. Loving him.

“I don’t have anything else, my love,” Esme addresses the dog sprawled out at her feet. “At least none of what you really want. Do you want a cookie? Auntie Nik got them just for you. I bet they’re delicious. Let’s get you a cookie.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees her move across the room, her hair still loose and flowing and nearly reaching the middle of her back. Her tiny frame clad in a pair of simple black leggings and one of the plaid shirts she’d poached from his side of the closet. And he finds himself amused by the way she has to stand on her tiptoes to get the container of dog biscuits off the second shelf in the cupboard.

“Tyler…”

“Yeah?”

“This d…o…g won’t stop eating.”

“Why did you spell that out?”

“Because I don’t want her to know I’m talking about her. It might give her a complex.”

“Your logic is…astounding.”

“Even animals have feelings. I mean, you’re the biggest one of all, and you’ve been all up in your feels lately.”

“Esme?”

She glances towards him.

Without looking away from the television, he holds up his right hand and flips her the middle finger.

“Well, that’s just rude, isn’t it Lucy? Just plain rude.”

“She’s a traitor. That’s your dog now. She’s made that perfectly clear. Hasn’t left your side since before dinner.”

“Well, if we want to get technical, she’s OUR dog now. But I’m sure she still loves you best. Daddy’s still your favourite, isn’t he? You could never love anyone the way you love him. I’ll let you in on a little secret; I feel the exact same way about him.”

He smiles. “You BOTH have horrible taste in men.”

“Excuse you? I’ll have you know that my taste in me is impeccable. Well, at least NOW it is. I didn’t have to kiss too many frogs before I got to my prince, but the ones I DID have to kiss? Ewwww.” Giving Lucy a final pet, she fills the kettle and plugs in it, completing her tidying of the kitchen and then making a coffee for him, a tea for herself. Starting her journey into the living room, she pauses by the front door; spotting the small cardboard box he’d set down earlier. “What’s this?”

He casts a glance in her direction. “Just some stuff from my old place. That Nik and Yaz packed up.”

“That’s all they brought?”

“That and some clothes.”

“Where’s the rest?”

“What rest? You saw my old place. What more was there for them to bring?”

“What’s in it?”

“Just some personal shit. From back in the day. Nothing you need to worry yourself with.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s really none of my business. I shouldn’t have even asked. It’s really none of my business.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Fuck. He really needs to pay more attention to the tone of his voice when speaking to her. He’s always been straight to the point; never dragging things out or sugar coating them. While it had suited him well in both military and mercenary life and had, it had unfortunately been one of the many issues that eventually sunk his marriage. Esme deserves better; she’s sensitive and feels and loves so deeply and profoundly. And, like her need to give and want affection, it’s yet another thing he needs to get used to. “I just meant that it’s nothing serious. I’d tell you if it was.”

She doesn’t pursue it. Either not as hurt at his reaction as he had thought she would be, or just deciding to pick her battles. But she greets him with a smile when she joins him, setting their mugs down on the coffee table and then accepting the hand he offers her and dropping down beside her.

Releasing her hand, he wraps his arm around her, he pulls her tightly against him, his hand resting on her hip as he presses a kiss to her temple. She smells so damn good; that mixture of coconut, honey, and milk that he’d first discovered in Dhaka and had been so enthralled. It’s simple and unassuming; a cheap shampoo that she’d found in a corner store in Prague just hours before Nik had brought her to Australia. And she’d been so taken aback by his genuine compliments about the scent, that she’d decided never to use anything else.

“I’m sorry.”

She reaches for the coffee and hands it to them, then picks up her tea. “For what?”

“I honestly didn’t mean it the way it sounded. When you asked about the box. It’s not it’s not your business. It’s just…” Shrugging, he sips at his drink. “...nothing you’d be interested in. Or at least, I don’t think you’d be.”

“I’m interested in YOU. In your life. Especially the one that came before me. I know it wasn’t a utopia by any stretch of the imagination, and you’ve been through some shit, but if you ever WANT to share, I’m good with it.”

“Same goes for you, yeah? If you ever just want to tell me about things? I don’t want you holding back because you think it’s going to piss me off. Even if hearing about your ex and the shit he did might make me feel homicidal.”

“And he’d deserve it. If you got a hold of him and broke every bone in his body.”

“I wouldn’t just stop there. I wouldn’t be able to. And a lot of places to stash him afterwards. Where no one would ever find him.”

“As much as I appreciate and love you for wanting to avenge me, I also don’t want to bring him into this. Into our life together. I don’t want him tarnishing things. Ruining them.”

“He could never do that.”

“Just some things really are better left in the past. Some of the things he did…” She chews on her bottom lip, choosing her words carefully. “...I just can’t talk about those. And that’s not a personal slight against you. It’s not because I feel like I CAN’T you. It has nothing to do with you.”

“I know. But if you ever DO want to talk about things…”

“Believe, you’d be the first person…the ONLY person…I’d ever go to. I trust Nik and Yaz, but not in the same way I trust you. Does that make sense?”

“It does. I feel the same way about you.”

“You’re my person, Tyler. You’re the one I want to tell things to. Good AND bad. You’re the one I want to share things with. Whether it’s horror stories about my ex or stupid jokes that I’ve gathered up over the years, or things I hear or see when I’m out. I don’t feel that comfortable with anyone else. Not like I do with you.”

“Do you think maybe it has something to do with the fact I’m the one you get naked and do filthy fucking things with?”

“That could play a role,” she laughs, and presses a lingering kiss to his cheek.

They settle into a comfortable, companionable silence, Lucy joining them and lying on the floor in front of the couch; watching the football game as they nurse their drinks, enjoying the warmth from the fire. He realizes that they’re in the midst of the ‘honeymoon phase’; everything seems to flow and co-exist so easily. Able to shut themselves away from the outside world; refusing to allow intrusive thoughts to penetrate the bubble they’ve built around themselves. They’re happy and comfortable; immersed in the ‘getting to know you stage’ outside of the intimate moments. Learning about each other’s likes and dislikes, their respective quirks and habits. It won’t always be this way. The charm will wear off; they’ll become easily annoyed and agitated as they both attempt to get used to sharing not only their space but their life, with another person.

When their mugs are empty, she places them on the coffee table and then stretches out on the couch. On her side with both arms wrapped around his thigh and her head in his lap.

“Is your team playing?”

His hand settles on her hip. “Yeah. The Western Bulldogs. They’re the ones with the red and blue shirts.”

“Are they winning?”

“By a pretty big margin, actually.”

“This doesn’t look like regular football. It’s nothing like the NFL. These guys are out there just killing each other. And as much as enjoy senseless violence from time to time…”

“This is Australian rules. Nothing like what you’re used to. This is the real deal. Not that wimpy crap they play where you’re from.”

“If we’re able to get sports from Australia, we might be able to get some hockey games. That would be nice. We could watch them together.”

“I don’t like hockey.”

“Have you ever seen a hockey game?”

“Once. That was enough.”

“Tell you what…” She rolls over onto her back “...if you’ll watch some hockey games and learn a bit about it, I’ll do the same with you and your football. Deal?”

“I suppose I could agree to that.”

“You’re going to have to teach me the rules, though. I know nothing about football. ANY kind of football.”

“Shouldn’t be hard. You’ve already proven to be a pretty fast learner in other areas. I’m impressed with you.”

“Well, you happen to be an excellent teacher. Although I do have one complaint.”

Tyler frowns.

“Things worked so well, I am aching. I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk properly for a couple of days.”

“Just a couple? I’m insulted.”

“Next time, the number will be higher, I promise.”

“I may have been a little….hasty…when it came to going from start to finish.”

“It lasted longer than I thought it would, to be honest.”

“Excuse you?”

“I didn’t mean that as a cheap shot. And I’m already very familiar with your skills and your staying power. But think of everything you just went through; you were clinically dead nine months ago, AND you just spent three quarters of a year in the hospital. I know we’ve gotten up to other things, but we haven’t actually done THAT. Given the circumstances, you not lasting that long is to be expected.”

“I don’t know if any of your little speech made me feel any better. It’s embarrassing. I’m thirty-five years old and…”

“You’re thirty-six now. You had a birthday in the midst of everything.”

“That’s it, just go and make things worse. Add another year onto my life.”

“Listen…” Reaching up, she takes hold of his chin. “...there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Do you realize how close you were? To being six feet under? You shouldn’t even be here. A weaker man? They would have given up. They wouldn’t have fought their way back. And if one of the setbacks to surviving all that is to not last as long as you usually do, I’d say that’s pretty damn good.”

“I’ve lasted longer than since I was fifteen years old.”

“And you’ll go back lasting longer again. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Did I have a problem with it?”

“Not that I could tell. Or that you’re admitting.”

“I have absolutely zero complaints. Except for the whole not being able to walk or sit properly thing. You need to realize that things aren’t going to be like they were. Not for a while, anyway. You’ve come a long way and there’s an even longer way to go. Can’t you just be proud of yourself? For even getting out of that hospital?”

“I only did it for you. You’re the only reason I fought my way back. Why I busted my ass to get back on my feet. If you hadn’t been around…”

“But I WAS. I was there because I wanted to be. Because I knew you had a lot of fight left in you. And I know you’re tired and frustrated, and you think you should be further ahead, but you’re doing way better than anyone ever expected.”

“You expected it. You didn’t give up.”

“I know how strong you are. And I know you in ways all those other people don’t. Even Nik. I wasn’t abandoning you, Tyler. And I would have fought to the bitter end. Until there was some proof you weren’t going to come out of it. So THIS? This whole not lasting as long as normal? It’s actually a huge accomplishment, considering. Think of it that way.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“How do you always find the silver lining in everything? The glass is always half full to you. How…?”

“Because I know what I’ve survived. Not even my worst days come close to what Mark put me through. So guess I’ve just tried to turn my suffering into something positive. I’ve learned to look at the world in a different way.”

“Personally, I think you’re just some kind of freak.”

Scowling, she flicks the tip of his nose with her thumb and forefinger.

“I love you, though. As weird as you are.”

“Admit it, my weirdness was one of the things you found adorable and appealing.”

“No, actually. It wasn’t. I’ve just learned to accept it and live with it.”

“Well, for what it’s worth? I love YOU. You enormously stubborn pain in my ass.”

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve it, but…”

“Did I say it was up for debate? Did I say you could question things? No. So just…” She places a hand over his mouth. “...shhhh. Stop asking why and stop doubting what you’re worthy of, and just go with it. Can you do that? Just accept it and go with it?”

“I can try.”

“You better,” she warns and then turns her face towards him, her nose pressing into his stomach and her eyes closing. The events of the morning and afternoon quickly catching up to her: the relief that came with finally leaving the hospital, the long flight that had followed, and the drive to the cabin that represented the last leg of their trip to freedom. And then the sex; that effortless transition from hungry, desperate, and impatient to something much more tender and attentive.

Now she’s finally able to relish in the aftermath. Enjoying the hardness of his body and that warmth that radiates from it, his familiar smell and the beat of his heart deep within. Issuing a long, content sigh when one of those enormous, calloused hands is placed upon her cheek; his fingertips softly stroking her forehead while his thumb makes continuous sweeps across her cheek. And just as she begins to feel herself teetering on the edge of sleep, she feels him move against her; the slight shift of his body and the couch cushions as he reaches for the throw on the back of the couch and proceeds to drape it over her. What follows is such a simple, sweet display of care and adoration. A smile playing on her lips as this man -so big and so strong and capable of inflicting so much harm- ever so tenderly tucks and secures the fabric under and around her.

From that moment, she loses all track of time. The stroking of her cheek eventually ceases; his arm becomes limp, and his hand comes to rest upon her hip as sleep finally claims him. His soft snoring and deep rhythmic breathing joining the rattling of the windows as the wind and the snow continue to rage beyond the cabin’s four walls.

*****

When she wakes, it’s to the crackle of the fire and Lucy’s loud snoring, the cattle dog somehow managing to find enough space on the sofa. Rolling onto her back, she gives a loud yawn and a long, languorous stretch. Rapidly blinking her eyes when she’s greeted by the unexpected glow of the couch side lamp.

She watches Tyler in silence. Still in the same spot as when she’d fallen asleep, his eyes narrowed, and his brow furrowed as he devotes his focus and attention to a game on his cell phone. And it isn’t until she lightly tickles his stomach that he acknowledges her, greeting her with a soft smile as he uses gentle fingertips to clear strands away off her forehead and out of her eyes.

“Hey.”

“Sleep alright?”

Esme nods. “Guess I was just way too warm and cozy. Did you?”

“It was an okay nap. I kinda freaked out a bit, though. When I woke up. I didn’t even remember coming here. I thought I was still in the hospital. So when I didn’t recognize anything…”

“You spent three-quarters of a year there. I’d be surprised if you didn’t have moments like that. Eventually, they’ll go away. Once you get used to being here.”

“Once I realized that you, were YOU, I was alright. I knew I was in a safe place. That everything was going to be okay.”

It’s so sincere and genuine….so unexpected… that it causes a lump of emotion to sit square in her throat. She’s never known anyone quite like him, the strong, silent type that usually doesn’t have much to say, but makes an enormous impact when he does speak. He hides nothing from her. Open and transparent from the beginning of those five days in Dhaka, not just with words, but with facial expressions and body language. Both of them -despite their painful pasts and respective, albeit different, losses- somehow finding a level of trust in one another that neither had experienced before.

“Are you alright?”

Nodding, he tosses his phone onto the coffee table. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re feeling okay? You’ve had enough to eat? You don’t have too much pain? You…”

“Are you really going to do this as soon as you get up? Start worrying?”

“I can’t help it. I’m a worrier. It’s who I am. You should be used to it by now.”

“There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine. I’d tell you if I wasn’t.”

Her eyes narrow. “Would you?”

“I’ve already promised I would. About a million times already. I’m fine, Esme. I mean, other than the fact my left leg and my ass are completely asleep.”

“You could have gotten up, you know.” She attempts to sit up, laughing when a broad, strong forearm prevents her. “You didn’t have to stay here. You could have moved me.”

“I didn’t have the heart to do it. You looked way too cute, lying there like that. You snore, by the way.”

“I most certainly do not.”

“You do. You snore AND talk in your sleep.”

“Did I say anything interesting?”

“You didn’t incriminate yourself in any crimes if that’s what you mean. You did make a grocery list, though. Toilet paper, milk, ketchup, and cat litter.”

“Bullshit. You’re making that up.”

“I’m telling the truth. Scouts honour.”

“You were NEVER a scout. Who are you kidding?”

“But you did make a grocery list. And those are the things you mentioned. I have no idea where the cat litter comes into play, but…”

“Maybe that was a hint. That we should get a cat.”

“I don’t like cats.”

“How can you not like cats? They’re cute, and they’re furry, and they purr and make biscuits on you. How can you not be into that sort of thing?”

“They smell funny.”

“This coming from a guy that lets chickens freely roam the house. And sleep in the bed!”

“We are NOT getting a cat.”

“Just one?”

“No.”

“Please? You won’t even know it’s here. I’ll do all the feeding and the cleaning up and…”

“I don’t want a cat. I’m not a cat guy. Do I look like one to you?”

“Please, you like pussy more than anyone I know.”

“Not that kind, I don’t.”

“I’ll break you. I’ll wear you down. I will get my cat.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.”

“You’d never go through with. You’d miss me too much.”

“Like a hemorrhoid.” She squeals when he slides a hand between her and the couch and aggressively pinches her ass, then playfully shoves him away and sits up; hands smoothing over her hair and fixing her ponytail. “I have some bad news, by the way.”

“Color me surprised.”

“We have to leave the house sooner than I thought. We need to go into town. Grab a few things.”

“Ketchup, ass tissue, and cat litter?”

“Ice cream. And chocolate. My period is coming soon.”

“I didn’t need to know that.”

“I mean, you wouldn’t wonder why I’m suddenly bitchy and bleeding out of my vagina?”

“You’re always bitchy. And you like things rough. Anything can go wrong when you’re…”

“And firewood. We need firewood. Track down some of the pre-cut, bagged stuff. There’s not enough on the porch to even last even a couple of days. It’s how we heat this place, so…”

“Have you taken a look outside? We are surrounded by trees. Which is where firewood comes from. And I already saw an axe out on the front porch.”

“You have one good arm.”

“Which is more than enough to chop firewood. I mean, it’ll take a lot longer than if I had TWO good arms, but…”

“And you have one good leg. You’re going to hurt yourself. Chop your foot off or something. I could always do it. I know how to use an axe.”

“You can lift an axe?”

“Well, maybe not a normal-size one. But a little one.”

“You mean a hatchet?”

“It’s technically a little axe, right? I mean, it’ll take me a couple of days to make any sort of headway, but…”

“And you worry about me hurting myself? I’m just supposed to be okay with you wielding a hatchet? I mean, if you want to do it that badly, you can just come out and help me. Make sure I don’t fuck things up.”

“Oh, right. And then when I annoy you, you’ll chop me into a million pieces and throw me in the woods!”

“I would never chop you up and throw you in the woods.”

“Aww, you big softy. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself; if I wasn’t around anymore. You’d…”

“I’d chop you up and feed you to the dog.”

At the end of the couch, Lucy briefly raises her head, tilting it from side to side before issuing a heavy sigh and returning to her original position.

“You’re an asshole,” Esme grumbles, laughing when she tries to stand but quickly finds two powerful arms wrapping around her waist and yanking her back down.

“I'll tell you what, because I don’t want you worrying so much, we will go into town and find bagged firewood.”

“Thank you.”

“We’ll get enough to last at least a couple of weeks. But once it runs out, you gotta give me a chance, yeah? To try and do things? Because I’m going to go completely fucking nuts doing nothing but sitting on my ass all day.”

“There’s lots of things for you to do. You can go on walks, you can ice fish, you can learn to knit, like Yaz said.”

“Just let me try. That’s all I’m asking. I’m not going to get any better by not testing the limits. You need to trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I worry about you. I’ve spent nine months taking care of you. In some way or another. And it makes me really nervous; when I think about all the things that could go wrong.”

“Don’t think about those things, then,”

“Believe me, it’s easier said than done. But I WILL try. To not worry so much.”

“Thank you.”

Slipping out of his embrace, she climbs into his lap, wrapping both arms around his neck and placing her head on his shoulder. And her eyes close as she enjoys both his scent and touch, large hands slipping up the back of her shirt, calloused fingertips repeatedly travelling up and down her spine.

“By the way…” His voice rumbles deep within his chest. “...I’d never do anything horrible to you. Not even remotely.”

Smiling, she presses a kiss to the sensitive spot just below his left ear. “I know.”

“Also, I’m ready for my surprise.”

“Jesus…”

“Listen, you said the ‘p word’. That was the trigger.”

Laughing, she pulls back to look at him, fingertips tracing the scar that curves over the bridge of her nose. “You’re like a horny fifteen-year-old stuck in a grown man’s body.”

“I’ve got a lot to make up for. Nine months. That’s…”

“A long ass time.”

“I don’t know old timer,” she teases, and playfully ruffles his hair. “Think you can keep up with a youngin’ like me.”

“I don’t know.” One hand slips between them to gently cup her breast, and he feels her shiver against him when his thumb brushes over her nipple. “But I can’t try.”

#Tyler and Esme series #Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fanfic #Tyler Rake fanfiction #Extraction #Extraction 2 #Extraction fanfic #Extraction fanfiction #Chris Hemsworth #Tyler Rake x OFC #Esme Drummond #Esme Drummond-Rake #Esme Rake

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fleursbending · 2 years ago

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hiii i just got back from my pinkpantheress concert only to see i've reached over 100 followers !

thank you so much guys 😭💌, i'm really grateful my writing has received sm love. the avatar community is such a nice place :3 .

for 100 followers i am doing a special writing event ! how it will work is i have a list of dialogue prompts and all you have to do is the following:

(REQUESTS ARE NOW CLOSED)

✿ send the number of which specific prompt you would like through my requests with the following info..

✿ the character you want, oc or reader, gn or fem, platonic or romantic.

✿ specific genre: e.g: hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff. (you can choose a maximum of 3 genres! the choices are endless!)

✿ these are the characters you can choose from: neteyam sully, lo'ak, jake, neytiri, kiri, ao'nung, tsireya. the following characters are strictly platonic: tuktirey, ronal, tonowari.

✿ you can pick multiple characters to be included in a request. e.g : sully family x sully!reader.

✿ i will pick the length, aka if it is just a drabble or a full-fledged fic ! just pls be descriptive as you can with your request :3 or if u want i can just make it a surprise for u LOL.

✿ requests can be denied if they go against my boundaries and guidelines. so read those first.

✿ first come, first serve! this will only go on for a limited amount of time, depending on how well this is received.

here is your list of dialogue prompts to choose from:

“You’ll pay. You’ll pay for what you’ve done.”

"Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you."

"I’ve been falling in love with you since the day we met."

"You really think I won't choose you in a heartbeat?"

"Would you acknowledge my feelings for you if I kissed you right now? You can't seem to take a damn hint, [name]."

"If I'm causing you so much trouble, why won't you kill me?"

"Be brave for me, love."

"Can I cross your boundaries just for the night?"

“You’re a dumbass and I can’t believe I’m related to you.”

“So what? you’re still my [name], idiot. I don’t care about what they say!”

“You are a menace and you almost died back there if it wasn’t for me.”

“This—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. always.”

"How long have you been hiding this?"

"You moron... Why are you so careless!?"

"I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this!"

"Never do that again. Please."

"...Who did this to you?" || "Let it go (Name), it doesn't matter-" || "Yes, it does. Who did this to you?"

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“You did all of this for me?”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“Let me do this, please.”

"You were put on this earth to give me a headache!"

"What? I have never-"

"In my defense, I really wanted to."

"I don't hate you."

“Did I stutter?”

“This sounds like you’re flirting with me.”

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.”

“Could he make you feel as good as I do?”

"This isn’t adrenaline, I want to spend my life with you.”

“Just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. Not in that way, at least. Unless you want it to mean something. I don’t mind. That’s cool.”

"You're an idiot."

“Don’t cover your face, I want to see you”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that!”

“I don’t know what to do.” || “Then let me teach you.”

“If you interrupt me one more time— so help me God.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“We were friends! why did that have to change?”

“I’ve never heard you laugh before.”

"It feels like torture, but I don't want it to stop."

"I may have gone and done something slightly insane."

"If you lay a goddamn hand on them, I promise you'll regret it."

"I'll give you whatever you want, just- just stop!"

“Everything I’ve ever known has led up to you.”

"Just take my hand and relax, nothing bad is gonna happen."

"You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger."

"Seeing you here felt a lot more like coming home than when I actually got here."

credits to the following for these prompts: @casualwriter @clovenly @urfriendlywriter @dumplingsjinson @promptplanetblr @mangocherri @writinginstardust @a-crumb-of-whump @honey-writes @mswritingthings 🎀🎀 ty talented ppl !!!

✿ if you have any questions, feel free to comment and ask! ok, gn! it's 1am for me💀.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

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big-coyote · 10 months ago

Note

(this is the oc anon) i also forgot to ask but is there stuff that i could write about them to give them more depth as a therian? i dont think i am one, i may be animalhearted i tthink is the word, but ive seen posts about how being alterhumans not always pretty and fun and want to incorporate that too but again i dont know enough abt that hah ! thank you so much by the way

(2/2) Hello again! This is a follow up to the first ask! If you have any of your own thoughts feel free to comment or reblog!

I don’t think there’s any one universal experience in being a Therian or having a nonhuman identity. Some find it a very positive experience overall while others find it a very stressful and difficult experience. I think like many other identities there will be good and bad, fluctuations in how your OC may feel at any given time.

Maybe they at first try to hide their identity and feel ashamed. They don’t talk about it to anyone and feel like they are making it all up in their head, many therians I’ve meet often have imposter syndrome in their own lives. And maybe overtime your Oc learns to push through the feelings of doubt before finely embracing their identity in all of its forms.

Maybe they have always had a feeling they were different. Despite everything they felt separated from their peers and loved ones around them, but never had words to properly describe their feelings. Until one day they discover their identity and it all clicks into place, they find the correct words for their feelings and it all makes sense. The years of feeling out of place finely comes together and they feel at ease with this new found understanding of themselves.

Maybe they don’t care about their identity all that much. Maybe it is only one small factor of their life and there are other things that take priority over it. They may still be a Therian but they are also have many other identities or aspirations that influence them and make them who they are. Their job, their school, their friends, their family, their religion, their gender, their race, their sexuality, other parts of their lives take priority first so being a Therian is just one more thing to them.

Maybe they feel dread. They hate the body they live in and they loath the life they live. Being nonhuman has been one small bright spot in their life, but they wish they could run away from it all. Go into the world as their true self and be seen for what they are on the inside rather then the outside.

Or maybe they’ve always known they were a Therian and have loved every second of it. They are out, proud and loud. No shame. No guilt. They love their lives as authenticity and happily as possible without a single doubt.

There is no right to wrong way to feel about your own personal identity, that’s entirely up to you to decide. Or- I guess your OC to decide lol. I feel like looking at your OCs lives experience and their personality might be the best way to build a story about how they feel about their identity. I find it really fascinating when characters perception of themselves is shaped by the world they live in or how they experience things.

I’ve heard about being animalhearted which seems really interesting! I do hope you’re able to continue on your OC and again if you have more questions/want to share stuff my DMs are always open to chat! Thanks so much for the ask! I appreciate it! :D

#otherkin #alterhuman #wolf therian #otherhearted #otherkith #therian community #therian help #coyote therian #nonhuman #wolfkin #therianthrope #therianthropy #raven therian #alterhuman community

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years ago

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Wonderful World - Part 7^

Hello friends! So sorry this is super late, it's our first week back from spring break at the university and we're short staffed so I've been running around like a headless chicken! Also this chapter is extremely eventful and it is a little sad.

A/N: Apparently this blog has been shadowbanned so that could be why my tags haven't been working ☹️ I'm just waiting for Tumblr support to get back to me now.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: homophobia, LGBTQIA2S+ centered issues, mentions of bullying, cyberbullying, suicide, and panic attacks, toxic parents, verbal arguments.

WC: 10.7K

Diana was as quiet as possible as she got up in the morning, Celeste was still out and after the day she had yesterday, she didn’t want to disturb her much needed sleep. The rage Diana felt festering inside of her had not gone down for a second, she was still livid and hurt that someone else would do such a horrifying thing to her child. And not just another person, no, another child had done this and that blew her mind. She literally zoned out as she tried to piece together what she would say without losing her shit, which she knew would be extremely challenging. She knew of one person who could help keep her in check, but she couldn’t go that route.

“Mom?” She heard and turned around to see Celeste rubbing her eyes behind her.

“Que paso, mamita?” She asked.

“Tell me how it goes?”

“Of course.” Diana smiled and Celeste came over and she hugged her tight, “How are you feeling?” She asked more seriously.

“Just…sad I guess.” She said and Diana frowned, “Like I don’t know what I ever did wrong and how all these people can just go along with everything that was being said and done? Like they don’t even know me so why would they want me to…you know?” She asked with a frown.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Diana assured softly, “And listen, I will fight for you, I will do anything in my power to make sure that the school does the right thing. And I mean, I know Geri and Ozzy are at the same school but if you don’t feel safe or comfortable there we can look into another option for next year, just say the word. OK?”

“OK, thank you, mom.”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

After Diana got dressed she gave Celeste a big kiss on her forehead and hurried to her school. When she walked into the office Ethan perked up.

“Ms. Beltran, hey.” He smiled.

“Hi, Ethan.” She smiled back, he was always so sweet, he wasn’t deserving of her bad attitude this morning.

“Ummm, Megan and her mom kind of beat you to it.” He said and Diana sighed. She was shocked because she was 10 minutes early.

“Alright.”

“I am so sorry about what happened, by the way.” He added in with a frown.

“Yeah, me too.” She said with a tight-lipped smile, “I’ll see you later.” She said and he nodded before she went on back. She was was about to open the door when her phone started to ring and she sighed and fished it out of her bag to see Harry calling. Diana sighed before she stepped aside and answered the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey, i-it’s me. Harry.” Harry said and she couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“I know, I do have your number saved, you know?” She said and he chuckled a bit nervously.

“Right. Ummm, I was just calling to check in before the big meeting. See how you’re doing? A-and Celeste too, of course! How was she feeling this morning?”

“Celeste is still upset, understandably so. But she’s resilient, she’ll get through it. Obviously, I want to just make sure that we do this on her time, I don’t want to rush her into getting back here, especially if they don’t do anything about this.”

“Right. Were you able to talk to Rebecca?” He asked.

“Yeah, actually. I’ve got a few empty threats up my sleeve for now because well, I’m not going to sue another kid.” She said and he chuckled, “But it was helpful to know that there are things I can do about this if the school can’t help.”

“Good, that’s good. And what about you?”

“I’m fine. I just…I’m keeping calm.” She said before she exhaled and he chuckled.

“You’re gonna bite their heads off, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been preparing what to say since last night because I don’t want to be a bitch-”

“Hey, that’s your kid that they’re hurting. You’re not being a bitch, you’re doing what any good parent would do. Obviously, you don’t want to get out of hand, but it’s OK to be angry. I’m angry and she’s not even my daughter.” He said with a chuckle and Diana smiled a bit, “If I were there…I don’t even want to think about how I might react.” He said and Diana smiled.

“That bad, huh? For someone who doesn’t want kids you seem to get it.” She chuckled.

“Kid or not, she’s a person. A person that I know and care about, how can I not be upset?” He said with some frustration laced in his voice. Harry wished he could be there and advocate for Celeste and her wellbeing. Harry didn’t work with a lot of kids in his practice now, but from his residency and even his training back in England, he knew that he had a huge soft spot for them. And well, he thought he would be treating Celeste for her depression, but it turns out there was a lot more going on to cause that and he just wanted to make sure that something was being done to make it better.

Especially after yesterday, it was rare for him to feel so helpless. He had never been with a client and felt like he had no idea what to do. He knew from personal and professional experience what to do during a panic attack, but he just saw the state she was in and he freaked out. He was far too worried about her that he just didn’t know how to help except to hold her and assure her that she would be fine. It was scary.

“Right.” Diana sighed, “Look, I need to get in there, but thank you for calling.”

“Of course. You’ll do fine and I hope it goes well.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” He said and they hung up. Once Diana put her phone away she headed inside the office and Megan, her mother, and Principal Whittaker all looked over at her.

“Good morning.” She said and the only person who responded was principal Whittaker. Shocker.

“Thank you for joining us Ms. Beltran as we try and work out the issue at hand.” The principal said.

“Issue?” She asked with a frown, “My daughter had a panic attack as she read an anonymous page suggesting ways in which she should kill herself.” She said and immediately Megan looked down into her lap. If that wasn’t proof of guilt what else could it be?

“Ms. Beltran-”

“And you think my daughter has something to do with this?” The other woman spoke up and Diana glanced to her.

“Well, given everything she has done to her over the last school year…” Diana said.

“Mrs. Freeman, Ms. Beltran, I assure you we’ll get to the bottom of this.” Principal Whittaker said and they both turned to her, “Now Megan, you will need to issue a formal apology to Celeste for what happened before.”

“I will.” She sighed.

“Good and now in terms of this page that was created, it’s still up and-”

“It wasn’t me!” She raised her voice and Diana wanted to roll her eyes.

“I’m not saying it was you, I just want it gone by the end of the day-”

“The end of the day?” Diana interrupted as the rage she felt started to reach its boiling point, “Are you serious? I want it down immediately. They posted a picture of my daughter-”

“Yeah, drenched in period blood. What kind of mother doesn’t prepare her daughter for things like that? Huh?” Mrs. Freeman cut in with a scoff and Diana turned to her, eyes black with anger.

“And what kind of sick, piece of shit, monster makes a page putting it to vote if a child should kill themselves and then ask others to give her suggestions?” Mrs. Freeman’s eyes widened as she said this and Diana was also a bit concerned that she lost her bearings, but she couldn’t believe her ears. Megan was nearly trembling in her chair.

“Ms. Beltran, please-”

“No!” She interrupted, “You three listen to me.” She said, “After the incident yesterday my lawyer look into this and there is jail time for threats against someone’s safety online, especially a minor. She was able to find the email linked to the account and the IP address as well. I want the person responsible for conjuring this monstrous and vile scheme out of this place.” She said to the principal and Mrs. Freeman scoffed.

“You’re insane!”

“What if someone had done that to your daughter, Mrs. Freeman?” She asked, “What if it was your daughter enduring torments and walking around in fear for her safety every day for the entire school year? What if someone got on the internet and asked the kids at this school if Megan should kill herself?” She asked with tears in her eyes, “And more than that, what if they told her how she should do it and she had to read that over and over again?” She asked and Mrs. Freeman was slightly frowning now, “What if my daughter reaches her breaking point and she listens to what people are saying?” Diana asked through her tears and then she looked to Megan who was so tense she looked like she’d crack a tooth, “Even if it wasn’t you who made it, you contributed to it-”

“She didn’t!” Mrs. Freeman shouted.

“Yes she did.” Diana said to her and then looked to Megan, “Celeste saw you take the video.” She nodded and Megan started to cry, “Whatever weird vendetta you have against her, it’s one-sided and it doesn’t warrant everything that you and your friends are putting her through.”

“Don’t talk to my daughter, you psychotic bitch!”

“What happens if she kills herself, Megan? Are you ready to deal with everything that will come along with that?” She asked Megan despite Mrs. Freeman’s admonition.

“Well your daughter had to have done something for mine to lash out!”

“They didn’t even go to the same middle school! None of their extracurriculars even coincide! She’s just a mean girl for sport or for status! I don’t know what anyone gains from bullying someone else, but if you can’t do anything more about this I will press charges.” She said to Principal Whittaker and then Mrs. Freeman.

“Ms. Beltran, there’s no need for that, we can come to a resolution here-”

“The only resolution I want to see is an expulsion for the person responsible. I want the person to come forward by the end of the day or I will be telling my lawyer to file the charges. And we have mountains of evidence already.” She said and Mrs. Freeman scoffed.

“You’re fucking crazy, lady!” Mrs. Freeman shouted angrily.

“After everything your monster of a child has put my child through you think this is fucking crazy? You haven’t seen the half of it.” Diana seethed.

“What did you just say about my daughter?” Mrs. Freeman asked as she stepped closer.

“You heard me. Loud and clear.” Diana narrowed her eyes angrily.

“Fuck! I did it! I DID IT!” Megan shouted through her tears. Mrs. Freeman’s face morphed from anger and defense into complete shock as she stepped back and put her hand over her mouth in disbelief. Diana shook her head as she rolled her lips together to stop herself from crying. Hearing it and confirming that the girl sitting just a few feet away from her had done something so awful and disgusting her kid made her heart ache. She wanted to yell at her or hurt her back in some way but she was just a kid herself and it was so confusing to feel that way towards her.

“M-megan, was it really you?” Principal Whittaker asked and Megan sniffled and nodded.

“I just…I hate her so much!” She groaned and Diana frowned.

“Why? What did she ever do to you?” Diana asked and Megan just looked into her eyes and sighed.

“Does this have something to do with that other girl?” Mrs. Freeman cut in and Megan’s tearful eyes looked to her mom and she shook her head quickly.

“No, it doesn’t!” She said in a panic and now they were all confused.

“What girl?” Principal Whittaker asked.

“That girl that was harassing, Megan! Geraldine or something like that!”

“Ummm, there wasn’t ever a report made about that.” Principal Whittaker said and Mrs. Freeman shook her head.

“Why didn’t you report that she tried to kiss you in the locker room, Megan? Did she threaten you?”

“Wait, Geri is Celeste’s best friend and-”

“Well they probably threatened Megan to not report what Geri did!” Mrs. Freeman said to Diana who shook her head.

“Umm, Geri’s…not….” Diana stopped herself before she said too much about something that wasn’t her to share. And then she looked to Megan who looked terrified at what she might sat next. It was then that she pieced together what had probably happened. Megan had been the one to try and kiss Geri, she probably liked Geri. And well, Geri didn’t really know what to call it yet, but from what she and Celeste had shared with her in the past she figured that Geri was probably asexual or maybe demisexual. And well, Megan was probably jealous of Celeste and Geri’s relationship. It wasn’t an excuse for her behavior, but considering how her mother was reacting, they probably wouldn’t react well to Megan liking girls.

“Oh please, these LGBT people are so pushy and radical!” Mrs. Freeman shouted in anger.

“I can assure you Mrs. Freeman that we take any claims of sexual harassment very seriously and if something had been reported we would’ve followed up. And there must be some mistake here because Geri hasn’t received so much as a detention during her time here.”

“See, when you give these kinds of people an inch, they take a mile! And now my daughter’s rights are being violated! No matter how hard we try to include everyone all the normal people suffer!” Mrs. Freeman vented her anger loudly and Diana scoffed.

“You have no idea what you’re even saying, ma’am.” Diana frowned. She was holding back from going off because it wasn’t her place to try and make this woman see reason, especially about something like this and what it meant for Megan, her own daughter.

“Megan, if this is something that you want us to look into we can certainly do that.” Principal Whittaker said to her.

“No, it’s alright-”

“What do you mean?!” Mrs. Freeman shouted at her in exasperation, “If anyone should be punished it should be that girl for her disgusting, immoral, and-”

“I kissed Geri!” Megan suddenly shouted with tears running down her face and then she swallowed thickly. once again Mrs. Freeman looked shocked. Diana and Principal Whittaker were standing there awkwardly for a moments as a very tense silence took over the room.

“If you need to talk with your mom we can give you some space.” Principal Whittaker said after several moments.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Mrs. Freeman said instead.

“I just…thought she was pretty and just did it! It was stupid. I told her that she better not tell anyone anything or else.” Megan cried and now Diana felt so awful for her.

“You’re damn right it was stupid!” Wait until I tell your father about this.” Mrs. Freeman berated her.

“Well, back to the reason we were here,” principal Whittaker said, “Megan still put that page up, which is completely unacceptable and there needs to be a consequence.”

“So that’s it then, she’s expelled?” Mrs. Freeman sighed.

“Well, based on the gravity and nature of the offenses Megan has committed I’m afraid that expulsion is an option.” Principal Whittaker said to Mrs. Freeman and Megan, “However, this is a process, we can’t just expel her. We submit a recommendation to the school board and then they’ll need to review the evidence before addressing it and voting on it at the school board meeting.” She explained, “Both parties are able to give testimony at the meeting to help give the members a clearer picture of what has happened.” She said and Diana swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I don’t want to get expelled all of my friends are here and-”

“Well you should’ve thought of that before you went and did something this stupid, Megan.” Her mother snapped at her and then Megan looked to Diana.

“This doesn’t mean you’ll be expelled, Megan, but these are the steps I need to take.”

“Well what if I apologize to Celeste? What can I do?”

“That might certainly help your case, but you still violated the student code of conduct. You physically injured another student intentionally, you then threatened the safety and wellbeing of another student online, and now you’ve confessed to sexually harassing an unsuspecting student. I’m sorry Megan, but I have to move forward with the recommendation.” Principal Whittaker said and Megan was crying harder now and somehow Diana wanted to help Megan now. Sh was so conflicted, she thought she would feel so happy knowing that she was getting what she deserved but this was a lot.

“Fine. Whatever…I take it she’s suspended for the rest of the week.” Mrs. Freeman said and Principal Whittaker nodded. “Alright, well if that’s all we’re going.” She said flatly, “C’mon, Megan.” Mrs. Freeman said and hurried out of the office and Megan followed behind her, cowering a bit. Right before she walked out she glanced back to Diana and she had never felt so awful in her life and just like that they were gone.

“That woman is a bitch.” Principal Whittaker said and Diana sighed as she turned back to her and nodded.

“I feel so bad…I promise I won’t sue, I just got so angry.” She said and Principal Whittaker nodded.

“I understand, I have kids too.” She assured and Diana nodded.

“I’ll talk to Celeste and see if maybe she’d be willing to make peace with Megan or…I don’t know.”

“Even still, it would take a miracle after what she did with that instagram page.” Principal Whittaker said and Diana nodded.

“Well, thank you for this meeting and for doing what you can. I appreciate it. Celeste is still not doing too well, she’ll probably be back next week.”

“Of course.”

With that Diana stepped out of the office and sighed once she shut the door behind her. When she rounded the corner to the reception area she saw Megan sitting in a chair with her backpack and Diana looked around to see if her mom was around anywhere.

“Megan?” She approached her when she saw that she wasn’t. Megan looked concerned as Diana came closer, “I’m really sorry for saying those things about you in there, you’re not a monster or anything like that. I was just so angry and I lost my temper and I should’ve done better.” Diana said and Megan shook her head.

“I deserve it.” She sniffled.

“No you don’t, sweetie.” Diana said, “Obviously, I am upset and hurt by what you did, but fighting fire with fire never helps and I’m the grown-up here, I should do better. So I’m sorry.” Diana said softly.

“It’s OK.”

“And look, I know what it’s like to have parents who…you don’t get along with or who don’t really understand you. They do love you in their own way, but sometimes they can be hurtful.” She said and Megan sniffled as she nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And look, whether you know or are confused about how you feel about Geri or maybe even other girls, just know that, that doesn’t make you a bad person, even if some people tell you that it does. The people who love you will only want for you to be the version of yourself that you’re happiest with. And you’re what, 14-15 years old?”

“15.” She said and Diana smiled.

“You’ve got your whole life to figure things out, there’s no time limit to learning more about yourself, OK? And well, if you ever need help there’s the counselor. I understand that you’ve been kind of forced to work with her.”

“Yeah.” She said with a small smile and Diana nodded.

“Well, that’s actually a really good thing. Take advantage of it, yeah?”

“OK. Can you tell Celeste that I’m really sorry? I was jealous because I thought she and Geri liked each other or something.” She sniffled.

“Of course I will.”

“And like I told Principal Whittaker, I will write that letter too to apologize.”

“Thank you. Take care of yourself, sweetie.” Diana offered her a small smile.

“What’re you doing talking to my daughter?” Mrs. Freeman suddenly asked, her tone shrill and angry and Diana sat up from the spot beside Megan’s.

“I was just apologizing to her for saying she’s a monster. That wasn’t right of me, I lost my temper when I shouldn’t have.” She explained to Mrs. Freeman. The stern and disapproving look in her eyes softened some.

“Oh. Well, Megan crossed the line and you’re right, if she had been on the receiving end of something like this I would lose my shit as well.” She said more quietly and Diana nodded.

“Any parent would.” She assured with a smile and then turned to Ethan, “Have a good one, Ethan.”

“You too Ms. Beltran.” He said and she smiled before she hurried out.

Diana sat in the car for about 10 minutes just processing the entire meeting. She called Grace and explained what happened and explained how she was feeling after finding out about everything else that was going on behind the scenes. She knew that couldn’t really explain everything that happened to Celeste without outing Megan. However, it was the one thing that would answer the question she had: why was happening to her? It wasn’t her place to share that information with Celeste, as much as she wanted to give her the answer to her question. She deserved to know that it had nothing to do with her. She still felt for Megan and every internal struggle she was having, but that also didn’t justify her actions. Diana just felt stuck a bit and her mind was in shambles as she made her way back home.

“I’m home!” She called out.

“In the kitchen!” She heard Celeste say and she set her bag and wandered in to see her at the counter eating some peanut butter and banana toast. “How was it?” She asked before taking another bite and Diana sighed.

“Well… she confessed to the account and I…called her a monster, I felt bad about it after though.” Diana said and Celeste giggled, “Imagine me, fighting verbally with a child…anyway, she did want me to tell you that she’s really sorry. And well, she’s suspended again this week and the principal is recommending her for expulsion so that’s that.” Diana said and Celeste exhaled and nodded.

“Good.”

“Yeah.” Diana said softly and then bit her lip, “Well, do you want to hang out here or do you want to come to campus with me?”

“I think I’ll stay and be lazy.” She said before taking another bite of her toast.

“OK, but please pick up when I call to check in OK? I just…after everything that happened yesterday I just need to know that you’re doing OK.” Diana said and Celeste nodded.

“I will.”

“Pinky promise?” Diana asked extending her finger out to Celeste and she took it and locked her pinky with her mom’s. “And…you know that you can talk to me and tell me things, right?” She asked and Celeste nodded, “And I know that the point of therapy is to have someone outside of me to talk to and to get help from. I know that you have a good thing going with Dr. Styles and that he helps you, but I just…I need to make sure that you’re OK.” Diana explained, “What you’ve been dealing with is something that most people don’t have to and it can be exhausting and scary and I just need you to know that you also need me in your corner. Which I always will be, as your mom. But I guess what I’m trying to say is that if anything else happens I would like to know. I don’t want to find out when you’re in crisis mode, you know?” She asked nervously and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, I get it mom.” She responded.

“Good. No more secrets, OK?” Diana asked and Celeste nodded.

“No more secrets.” She agreed.

***********

It had been two weeks since Celeste’s panic attack and during her next two sessions Diana had been present, at Celeste’s request. At first it was good, because he could have a better idea of their dynamic. And well, he could also collaborate with Diana to ensure that Celeste was safe at school and transitioning back into it well. The school board meeting regarding Megan’s fate was coming in 2 more weeks and Harry wanted to know if Celeste wanted to share something, as she was allowed and encouraged to give testimony. He wanted to know which way she was leaning and if she accepted what would she want to say? But he wasn’t getting much out of her. It concerned him because her eyes said that she did want to talk about it and process her feelings about this, but her responses were far too vague or she’d give a lot of ‘I don’t knows’ now and he felt that having Diana around might have been the reason she was hesitant to share. He knew that Diana just wanted to help, but it was putting some pressure on Celeste that really had no place in the therapeutic setting. So after this second unsuccessful session Harry knew that he needed to talk to Diana.

He was a bit nervous because they weren’t really on the best of terms after he had kissed her at that show. Yes, they would collaborate and put their own feelings aside for Celeste’s sake, but things between them were still pretty “meh”. Celeste was gathering her things as Harry processed Diana’s payment and then he glanced up at her.

“Diana, can I have a minute of your time before you guys go?” He asked and she nodded.

“Celeste, just wait in in the waiting room for me, OK?”

“Yep! Bye Dr. Styles!” She called and Harry smiled and waved as Celeste headed out of his office. Diana was standing around waiting for Harry to finish up and when he did he sighed as he looked up to her.

“What?” She asked with a slight chuckle and he glanced up pensively, trying to piece his words together in the best way. He was holding his hands, really fighting the urge to crack his knuckles.

“Just, give me a minute, I’m just…trying to phrase this right.” He said and she tilted her head to the side with a smile.

“Just say it.” She shrugged and he looked down into her eyes to find her already looking at his.

“OK…while I think that you being in session with Celeste can be advantageous and appropriate, at times, I do believe that you joining in regularly is not conducive to Celeste’s progress.” He said it so professionally and robotically because he just needed her to know that it wasn’t personal. It had nothing to do with what they had gone through personally, it was just what was best for Celeste. He watched her eyebrows furrow as his words processed.

“How could you say that?” She asked with a frown, “After everything she’s been through, she needs me too!” Diana added.

“I know, Diana. Believe me, I do, but it kind of feels like you’re chaperoning our sessions and she’s not opening up about-”

“Well maybe you’re just not as good at your job as you thought.” She said and as soon as she said it she regretted it. Even more when she saw an offended and hurt expression on his face for a moment, before he looked away with a tense jaw to compose himself before looking back into her eyes.

“I’ve been with her through all of this too and it wasn’t like this before you came in.” He explained.

“Well maybe the panic attack changed things, Harry. If I recall, I had been the one who helped her through it more than you did, and I don’t mean this disrespectfully, but maybe she’s lost some confidence in you.” Diana said coldly and he bit on the inside of his cheek for a moment.

“Based on what you’ve just said I think you’re the one who’s lost confidence in me. And also, you’re making this weird and personal and-”

“She asked me to be here, Harry! And I will be in session with her until she asks me not to be, OK?” Diana interrupted him. She hated being wrong and right now she was, she knew it too. She was making it weird and personal and this had a lot more to do with her fear about what was going on with Celeste than it did her confidence in Harry or anything else. They had promised no more secrets, but this was the place where Celeste felt safe enough to share anything and that bothered her. It almost hurt her in a way that Celeste preferred to open up to Harry before her; she was her mother for fuck’s sake. Harry exhaled and nodded.

“You’re right, she did. I’m sorry.” He said and she frowned. After shed insulted him and his competence he was apologizing to her? It made her feel like shit, “I’m just concerned that she’s not taking about the board meeting and I really need to know what’s on her mind. If she chooses to speak, what she says will quite literally impact this other girl’s future and with the things she has said before I…I’m just worried that she’ll act out of vengeance and then regret it down the line when it’s way too late to correct anything.” He explained and Diana scoffed.

“Wow, Harry…” she said with shake of her head.

“Don’t do that, Diana.” He said quietly, “You know your daughter better than I do. You know how she is when she’s angry.” He called her out and she looked away from him, because once again, he was right. “And if you’re having a hard time processing all of this, because I can imagine that it’s a lot and scary and just hard, maybe you should consider reaching out to your therapist too and-”

“I think we’re done here.” She said before turning around and walking out the door, shutting it loudly behind her. It made Celeste jump a bit in fear as she glanced up at Diana from her seat in the reception area, “C’mon, let’s go.” She said curtly before they walked out of the office.

Harry was left standing in his office staring at the door she had basically slammed on her way out feeling so disappointed and angry with Diana’s response. She was acting like a child - he was prepared for her to not react the best, but not like this. She had been so cold and hurtful and it did hurt his feelings. He was trying to talk himself out of doubting himself and his abilities because he knew that Celeste and him had formed a really good and strong therapeutic bond. He had been helping her, there was evidence of that, wasn’t there?

*********

Diana had been very in her head all of Tuesday. She had maybe replayed the conversation with Harry in her head a bajillion times and she felt worse and worse about it the more she recalled it.

“Mom!” Celeste suddenly shouted and she shook her head and groaned as she saw that the pot of tomato soup she was preparing for dinner had completely boiled over and got the stove all dirty.

“Shit!” She groaned quietly as she hurried to remove the cap to let the bubbles go down and proceeded to turn off the burner, “Well great.” She groaned quietly. Celeste hurried over and then flipped the grilled cheese sandwiches on the skillet before they started to burn. She then glanced up to Diana with concern.

“Mom, are you OK?” She asked carefully and Diana nodded before she looked over at her.

“Yes, I’m just stressed about a lot of things.” She explained through an irritated sigh.

“It’s OK, me too.” Celeste assured and Diana turned to her.

“You said you were fine yesterday in session.”

“I-I know, it was just today.” Celeste fibbed and Diana looked in Celeste’s eyes.

“We said no more secrets.” Diana reminded.

“I know, it’s just a test we have for one of my classes. I’m not super confident about it because of the week I missed.” She said and Diana hummed.

“Promise?” She asked pointedly and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, I promise.”

“If this has anything to do with the school board or Megan you can tell me.”

“I know, mom.” She sighed and Diana nodded, “Y’know…if-if you don’t want to have me in therapy with you and Dr. Styles I don’t have to be there?” She said more quietly.

“I know.” She said and Diana nodded, “OK. I mean I like being in there, but I don’t have to be, OK?”

“OK.” Celeste smiled and Diana smiled too.

They had their dinner and talked a bit about their days during. Diana reminded her that she would be picking her up right at 3pm from school the next day as Grace had something she needed to do and wouldn’t be able to get her. Once Celeste did the dishes she headed up to start getting ready for bed and Diana got to cleaning the mess she made of the kitchen. Her day hadn’t necessarily been exhausting, but mentally she was just drained and foggy and she well, she felt guilty. Really, really guilty.

**********

Harry was just getting in from the office when his cellphone started ringing with a number that he didn’t have saved. He nibbled on his lip before deciding to just answer it.

“‘Lo?” He asked into he receiver.

“Ummm, Dr. Styles?” He heard Celeste over the line and his immediate emotion was concern that something bad had happened.

“Celeste, hi! Are you alright?” He asked right away.

“Yeah, I am. Ummm…I just…feel really bad for lying to my mom about something.” She explained and he hummed.

“OK, and what is that?” He asked as he set his bag down on the kitchen counter.

“Well, after everything that happened with Megan we made a pinky promise that we wouldn’t keep secrets from each other and that’s why I asked her to come in with me when we talk but…it’s just not the same anymore.” She explained and Harry hummed.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” He responded and she sighed. Right now Harry wanted to just materialize before her and shout a big, fat “I told you so!” In her face, but he needed to just listen to Celeste right now.

“I just feel so bad to tell her I don’t want her there because I know she’s worried. And she keeps telling me that I can tell her if I don’t want her there, but I know it’s going to hurt her feelings if I tell her that.” She explained with a sigh.

“And how do you know that?” Harry asked.

“Because, she’s tough, but she’s also really sensitive.” Celeste said.

“That’s fair. What makes you not want her there?” He asked.

“Just…the fact that she’s my mom and maybe I’ll want to talk about things that she might not…like me to say.”

“Is this about Megan?” He asked and Celeste swallowed thickly but hummed in confirmation, “OK, like what?”

“Like I hope that she gets expelled.” She said more quietly.

“You have every right to feel that way.”

“Yeah, see mom would make me feel like I should forgive her.”

“Your mom’s right about that, you should definitely forgive her, in your own time of course, but you should also really process what you feel first.”

“Yeah and I feel like I can’t do that with her there.” She explained.

“Well, you can never go wrong with saying it like that? Just explain how you feel. I know that it can be scary to say how you feel sometimes, but if it’s what’s best for you I think she will listen.” He encouraged.

“Yeah…I just feel bad. Like it’s not that I want to keep things from her, but I just think it’s easier to tell her about stuff after we’ve had the chance to talk. Because if she has questions I usually know what to say. I’ve had time to talk about it with you.” She said and Harry hummed.

“You know, it might also be that your mum feels that in a way, you’re replacing her with me.” Harry added and Celeste scoffed.

“How?”

“Because, if you two have always talked about things openly before me, it might just make her feel that way. Imagine if Geri or Ozzy got a new friend and they suddenly started talking to them before you about their problems or their good news, how might that make you feel? A bit crumby I reckon.”

“Yeah…that’s true.”

“So just remind her that you love her and that you do want to keep telling her things but after you’ve understood more about what you’re feelings. And hey, there are things that you might tell your mum before me, like if you have a crush on someone or maybe something related to your guitar lessons? Just let her know that she’s still someone you can trust and want to share things with and be honest with but that it’s a little harder to know exactly how to share what you’ve been going through lately.”

“Mmm, OK. That makes sense.” She sighed, “Thank you, Dr. Styles. I’m sorry if I interrupted your dinner or something, I just needed your help.” She said and he smiled.

“Anytime, Celeste. I mean that.” He said and she smiled.

“Thank you, bye.”

“Bye.” He hummed and they hung up.

********

Diana hadn’t meant to listen in to that whole conversation, but Celeste had left her door ajar and had her phone on speaker. Diana had initially just walked up to ask if she wanted to take the left-overs as lunch or if she’d want lunch money the next day. Now she felt worse than before because Harry had been absolutely right and now she had hindered Celeste on her journey to getting better. She quietly made her way back down before Celeste would notice and just decided to not say anything about it until she brought it up to her. She wasn’t upset at Celeste, how cold she be? It was more an upset with herself for acting so immature and going after Harry when he was just trying to help Celeste; he did know her well as his patient and it was his job to advocate for her and what was in her best interest. She needed to swallow her pride and apologize.

********

“Mom, can we stop at the cafe before we go to your class?” Celeste asked as soon as she hopped into the car and Diana nodded.

“Of course, mi amor.” She smiled and peeled away from the curb, “How was your day?”

“It was really good. Well, except for Megan trying to talk to me.” She sighed and Diana glanced over quickly.

“Oh really?” She asked.

“Yeah, she was trying to give me that letter that Principal Whittaker forced her to write.” She huffed and Diana hummed.

“Well, maybe she does have something important to tell you as well?” Diana suggested and Celeste rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, sure…” she mumbled. In a few minutes they were parking in the structure around the corner from the cafe and just down the street for the building Diana lectured on, on Wednesdays.

“Alright, we need to be quick. Do you know what you want?” Diana asked as they stepped inside.

“Yeah, the Mexican hot chocolate frappe.” She said and Diana nodded. She placed her order and then Celeste’s before they hurried off to the side as they awaited their orders. Celeste was telling her something about a paper she had to write for English when someone tapped on her shoulder and she turned around to see a familiar face that she couldn’t necessarily place.

“Yes?” She asked at the woman smiling before her.

“Hi! You’re Dr. Styles’ girlfriend, right?” The girl asked and Diana’s eyes went wide in shock as she recalled the girl that was following him a few weeks prior.

“Ummm, no-”

“Yeah! I’m Sam, his student. He was waiting for you to finish lecturing outside of Dewitt Hall? You two left, hand in hand, all cute and smiley?” She reminded her of that time that she saved him from this girl, “I know this has nothing to do with you really, but might you know what time he’s gonna be on campus today?” She asked and Diana shook her head.

“I don’t I’m sorry.”

“Poo, thought I’d ask. I have some questions about something. Well, anyway it was nice to see you again.” She said and then twirled off to her table.

“You’re dating Dr. Styles?” She suddenly heard and turned around, completely forgetting that Celeste was right there this entire time. Her expression was angry and confused.

“Sweetheart, no! That’s not-”

“Is that why he always wants to talk to you alone?” She asked with disdain and Diana shook her head.

“Baby, no! Listen-”

“You said no secrets!” She seethed as a few stray tears cascaded down her cheeks, “You’re such a hypocrite. I hate you.” She spat before she pushed through a few people and ran out of the cafe.

“Fuck!” Diana groaned and hurried off after her, she wasn’t really looking where she was going and she crashed into a student, making the drop their books and phone, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She said distractedly, trying to look around the guy to see where Celeste had rushed off to since she heard the door chime. She then looked away just for a moment to help pick up the person’s items and when she rushed out she looked from side to side to see if she caught a glimpse of her anywhere and she didn’t,“Shit!” She groaned loudly and dug around for her phone in her purse but then realized that Celeste’s backpack was slung over her shoulder. Maybe she had her phone in her pocket… she decided to just try and call her and when she heard the deep buzz coming from beside her she groaned again. She took a few deep, calming breaths she was angry now, but she had to let her explain, she knew where her office was, maybe she went there. Or perhaps back to the car? The car was on her way to the lecture hall so she made a quick stop there and didn’t find her there. And she was running late to class, but she just needed to find her. She rushed down the campus quad to her office building and she wasn’t there or in the bathroom there. The security guard at the entrance of the building hadn’t seen her come in either. She had to be around here somewhere, maybe she was in the lecture hall bathroom? And on her way to her class no one was in the stalls either and she rushed out in a panic, not sure if she would be able to hold her class. She wasn’t looking and she bumped into someone harshly and looked up to see Gabe looking at her with concern.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He asked with a frown. They hadn’t talked in a bit, he was giving her space after they had spoken last, but it was relieving to see someone she knew.

“Celeste ran off in an angry fit and I can’t find her anywhere!” Diana rushed out, her eyes were scanning every person that walked by as the worry started to grow even more.

“OK, we should probably have campus security help find her.” Gabe said and Diana blinked a few times and nodded.

“Right.” She said shakily.

“Do you want me to talk to your students?” He asked and she exhaled shakily.

“No, it’s OK. Look, she was really angry at me over something, she knows where my office is. I think when she cools off she’ll go there.” She reasoned and Gabe nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t have anything going on right now, do you want me to go hangout there?” He asked and Diana sniffled.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“I want to help.” He assured as he placed his hands on her shoulders and she bit her lip to suppress her own tears and nodded, “Hey, s’right. We’ll find her, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She whispered.

“Good. I’ll text you if she shows up.”

“Thank you, Gabe. Thank you so much.” Diana said and he nodded before letting her go to her class and he went off to wait in her building. Diana was only able to lecture for half an hour before she dismissed her class and rushed over to her department’s building. She searched the place top to bottom and didn’t find her there. She went to the foodcourt and Gabe went back to the cafe and still they hadn’t found her. She was rushing through the quad with tears streaming down her face as she informed Gabe that she was going to check the parking garage again and call campus security.

“Sounds like a plan. I’m circling back to your building, alright?”

“OK, thank you. Thank you.” She sniffled and hung up as she rushed down the path as a sob broke from her mouth.

“Diana?” She heard and turned around when she heard Harry’s voice from a few feet away, “Why are you crying?” he frowned as he came up to her and she choked on a sob.

“Your stupid fucking student Sam came up to me at the cafe before class, Celeste was with me. She was like “You’re Dr. Styles’ girlfriend aren’t you?” And she heard the whole thing and she got so fucking pissed and ran off and I haven’t been able to find her anywhere!” She vented through her tears.

“Shit.”

“Yeah!”

“Did you try to explain-”

“Of course I did! But she just wasn’t listening. She left her phone in her backpack, which I was carrying for her and I just, I need to find her.” Diana cried and Harry just grabbed her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs and nodded.

“It’s alright, we’ll find her. Where have you looked?” He asked and Diana sighed shakily.

“The lecture hall, my building, and the parking structure - those are the places she knows the most. Gabe is going to do another sweep of my building, see if she goes to my office.”

“OK, good. Have you called campus security?”

“I was just about to.” She sniffled.

“And where are you heading now?”

“To the structure to see if she’s waiting by the car.”

“Alright. And we can put our things down while we’re at it, OK?” She nodded. On the walk over she called security and gave a description and emailed a picture of her and told them what she had been wearing. She also told them that if they found her that they could call her, Gabe, or Harry. Unfortunately, she was not by the car as Diana had hoped.

“Alright, where else have you brought her on campus?” Harry asked and she started listing all the places they had visited before. They told Gabe to go look at the student art gallery and a theatre near there where they had gone to see a play a few years back. Diana and Harry headed off to the school of music, they’d taken a tour of it once when they were looking for a guitar teacher for her. “No luck.” Harry sighed as he ran into Diana down a hallway of practice rooms and she sighed as she leaned into the wall and raised her head up to look at the ceiling, hoping that something else would come to mind. He came a bit closer and handed her some tissues, “Grabbed you some when I passed by the bathrooms.” He said and she took them and dabbed under her eyes and then her nose.

“Thank you.” She said looking into his eyes and he nodded.

“Of course.”

“And I mean thank you for-for everything you’ve done. I know I’ve said that before, but I just didn’t the extent to which you helped and I…I accidentally overheard Celeste’s call to you last night.” She said and he looked down at the ground and hummed, “I didn’t realize how much you meant to her and just how much you’ve helped. And I was…cruel and mean and I’m so sorry for insulting you and your competence and for making it weird and personal. You were absolutely right, about everything and I haven’t been able to stop obsessing over it because you didn’t deserve that.” She was crying harder now.

“I forgive you.” He said and she inhaled sharply before she started sobbing and he came closer and just wrapped her in a hug as she cried hard. There’s nothing more humbling and relieving than someone forgiving you when you don’t deserve it. “You’re going through a lot. I can’t pretend to know how much Celeste’s struggles impact you as her mom, but I do see it and I worry too, especially after that fucking instagram page.” He said and she nodded, “Like that’s so much shit to get over, you know? And I’ve never felt…helpless before, professionally. Like I did during that panic attack and when I saw what those kids were saying…it was so scary for me too, so I can’t fathom what it’s like for you. And I’m sure that you’re also hurt and angry and questioning why-”

“I ummm… I know why. Why it’s happening.” She said softly and Harry frowned.

“Have you told her?” He asked and Diana sighed.

“I…I want to but I can’t do that.” She said and he hummed.

“The girl, Megan?” He asked and she nodded.

“They always say the real issue is with the bully and well, what she’s struggling with doesn’t justify her behavior but…if she’s expelled I fear that she’ll be put in harms way too. I mean, her mom was…kind of a bitch.” She said and Harry chuckled and she did as well.

“Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, huh?” He asked with a smile and she sighed.

“I think in this case it…it has and…I get what that’s like, you know? Having parents that…make it seem like they don’t love you. Or make you believe that love is conditional. Especially having a mother who so clearly shows her disdain towards you.” She explained and he nodded as he listened, “It’s not her fault that she doesn’t know how to deal or process things appropriately and you know after I tore that poor girl to shreds I had to apologize to her because I wanted her to know that it can get better. She’s being forced to see the school counselor since the first thing and well I told her to take advantage while she can. And I know that she really is sorry for what she’s done and she’s been trying to apologize but Celeste has just put up this wall! Which I don’t blame her for that, but…if something happens to that girl because of what we did or what Celeste says if she does speak at the meeting-”

“Hey, that’s not your fault. There are consequences to people’s actions. If she gets expelled that’s her consequence for the way she behaved. You can’t hold yourself responsible for what she’s going through, even though you understand her better now and have learned her struggles. And yeah, Celeste can hold a grudge-”

“You don’t even know…” Diana said and Harry chuckled.

“I think I will soon.” He sighed and Diana shook her head as she looked to the ground with a smile, “You’re so remarkably beautiful inside, Diana.” He said to her and she glanced up to him, “Your ability to rationalize while still feeling everything is so fucking amazing. I’ve never met anyone like you. A person who knows themselves so well and swallows their pride and can love and care and empathize even with the people who have wronged you. You’re so incredible and I think that’s why I…I want to know you and understand you, every single part of you. Like…it’s hard to stay upset at you, even after what you said to me because I just… I knew you’d come around and see reason and that you’d own up to that at the next opportunity. You’re consistent and accountable and that’s so relieving.” He said, “And I’m not saying that you don’t have any shortcomings, we all do, but you don’t let those stop you from being better and better and better and I admire that so much.” He finished, “So even if something bad or unfortunate happens to that girl, I need you to know that it had nothing to do with you.” He stated firmly, “And I also would need you to help Celeste feel the same.”

“Yeah…and well, that’s why I’m so scared with what she has to say because how she’s thinking right now…it’s just anger.”

“I know it is. I know.” Harry said, “I can help her, I know I can, so let me.” He said softly as he looked into her eyes and Diana nodded.

“Yeah.” She responded, “I trust you and I do believe in you, Harry.” She said without any hesitation.

“Thank you.”

“And well, if this situation isn’t evidence enough that we can’t-”

“I know.” He smiled sadly and he looked away, “Maybe in another life…” he said and she sniffled and nodded before dabbing more tears away from her eyes. After a few moments of silence Diana’s eyes widened, “Oh my god, I think I know where she is!” She said and she and Harry hurried off. As they ran through the campus Diana explained that last year when her brother visited he took Celeste to see a classical guitarist play at the amphitheater at the far end of the campus. It was an outdoors one and she remembers Celeste saying something about sitting right up front and seeing everything he did. It was dark now and so they used their phone flashlights to light up the stairs as they started coming down the concrete steps.

“Celeste!” Harry shouted as he went down one set of stairs and Diana another, “God, there you are!” Harry said and Diana rushed over as Harry sat beside her and took her in his arms.

“I’m so happy you’re OK. We’ve been looking for you all afternoon.” Diana said in relief and Celeste glared up at her. She somehow didn’t seem to be upset at Harry, which was annoying a bit, but she didn’t care so much, she was just relieved that she was safe. Diana crouched down before her and grabbed her hands, “Sweetheart, nothing is going on between us.” She said to Celeste and she turned to look up at Harry who nodded.

“Right. We were just pretending because that girl who ran into you guys at the cafe was following me to my car after I asked her not to. Your mom just swooped in and pretended to be my girlfriend so that the other girl would get the hint, you know? That girl was making me really nervous.” He admitted and Celeste smiled a bit before she looked to Diana and back to Harry and giggled.

“You’re a grown-up though.” She said and Harry chuckled.

“So?” He asked in much offense, “We get nervous too!”

“Over girls?”

“Over whatever makes us nervous, girls included.” He said and Celeste chuckled, “Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah.” She said and Diana stood and so did they. Celeste grabbed Diana’s hand as they headed up the stairs again, “I know you might be mad at me, but can we get sushi for dinner?” She asked and Y/N chuckled and Harry smiled as he listened in.

“Yeah.” Diana responded and Celeste smiled.

“Can Dr. Styles come too?” She asked glancing back to him and then up at Diana. Harry glance to her as well with his lip bitten between his teeth.

“If he wants to.” Diana said, “I also want to invite my other friend who was helping look for you too.” She said and Celeste nodded, “Alright, let me get him on the phone.” She said and called Gabe to invite him as well. They all rendezvoused in the parking garage and Harry said he’d go ahead and get a table as Gabe looked a bit confused to see Harry again in this setting.

“Hey so ummm, on top of Harry working here, he’s actually Celeste’s therapist and Henry’s best friend. Henry is Grace’s boyfriend.” She reminded and Gabe nodded as he recalled.

“Right!” He smiled as he recalled.

“I just wanted to address that before you thought that there was something going on or that I ended things with us over him. Which is what Celeste was angry about, she thought that I was dating her therapist.” She explained and Gabe winced.

“Yeah, not a good move.”

“Definitely not.” Diana agreed with a smile, “So yeah, if you see them getting along really well it’s to do with that.”

“I appreciate you letting me know. I know that maybe you’re not ready for more, but whenever you are, if that’s any time in the near future you let me know, OK?” He said and she smiled bashfully.

“OK. So we’ll see you over there?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and they split up and as soon as Diana settled into the car Celeste spoke up.

“That’s the guy you showed me!”

“Yeah, it is. But we’re not dating anymore. We’re just friends, OK?”

“Was it because of me?” She asked worriedly and Diana tutted.

“No, mi amor. Just…wasn’t ready for that I guess. Me, not him.” She explained as they peeled out onto the street.

“So does he want to be your boyfriend?”

“I think so, but again, I’m not really ready for a relationship right now.”

“How do you know when you’re ready?” Celeste asked and Diana hummed.

“That is…a really good question and I honestly don’t know. I mean, it’s a little different for me, because like I’ve told you before, the person I have a relationship needs to understand that you’re a priority in my life as well.” She explained, “I suppose I would to be able to trust them, even to look after you.”

“Was he not doing that?”

“Well, we only went on 2 dates, so we didn’t really get to talk about that kind of more serious stuff yet.”

“What kind of boys do you like?” She asked and Diana hummed.

“Handsome, smart, nice…tall?”

“All boys are tall compared to you.” Celeste said and Diana laughed.

“That’s very true…ummm,” she paused as she just thought about Harry and how dependable, caring, and protective he was, “Just I don’t know…” she trailed off. “And you? Any crushes I should be aware of, missy?”

“Not for now.”

“Not for now…?” Diana hummed and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah, we’re having a spring formal at the end of the month and no one has asked me yet.”

“You can ask too, you know?”

“Maybe I’ll ask Ozzy.”

“Yeah, Ozzy’s cute.” Diana said and Celeste scoffed.

“I guess…he had a girlfriend or something but they broke up so I would ask him to help him not feel bummed about that.” She explained.

“Oh OK, well that’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, if he’s up for it. If not I’m sure Geri and I can just go with each other.” She said and Diana nodded.

When they got to the restaurant Harry was sitting at the entrance waiting for them and stood as soon as they stepped inside.

“Hey, they’re just cleaning up a table for us.” He informed and Diana nodded.

“Perfect, thank you!” She smiled. A few moments later Gabe walked in and they were soon seated.

“This is a gratitude dinner by the way so don’t even think about pulling out your wallets afterwards.” Diana said as she continued looking over the menu and Harry and Gabe both chuckled.

Harry maybe should not have accepted this invitation, but it was made by Celeste, technically. And truly, Gabe wasn’t so bad. Obviously it did make Harry jealous that he was clearly interested in Diana and well, he was making Celeste laugh a lot too, which was fine, but there was a part of him that wanted it to be him. They had ordered a few appetizers while they each decided on what to eat and Celeste was struggling with her chopsticks so Harry lent her a hand to help her use them effectively.

“-and you know what, my friend Henry says that everyone has their own way of using chopsticks, it just has to be comfortable for you. He says you only need to do it properly when you’re around old people.” Harry explained.

“So I should use them properly now.” Celeste said in all seriousness as she tried to correct her grip and Harry looked at Diana and Gabe before they all burst out laughing, “What?” She asked.

“We’re not the kind of old Harry’s talking about, you know?” Gabe added in and she grinned.

Everything went really smoothly over dinner and it got Celeste thinking about what it might be like to actually have a dad too. She loved her mom, but she did sometimes want more. Like Ozzy’s dad would take him fishing every year over spring break and one time she and Geri went and they had a lot of fun that day. Or some of her other friends would be kind of spoiled by their dads, not that her mom didn’t make her feel special, but it just seemed different. That’s why she really liked when her uncle would visit or when Dr. Styles would hug her, he’d done it a few times now and there was just something different about it. And well, maybe it would make her mom happy too, if she had help. She was trying to picture if her mom would go better with Gabe or Dr. Styles - right now it seemed easier to picture Dr. Styles because she knew him better, but Gabe had been really nice and funny too. She was distracted by some knocks on her door.

“Come in!” She called and soon her door creaked open a bit.

“Hey, just wanted to say good night.” Diana said as she peaked in and Celeste smiled.

“Can you come here?” She asked and switched on her bedside lamp as Diana walked further into the room.

“What’s up?” Diana asked and Celeste sighed.

“I know that yesterday I said I wanted you in my therapy sessions with Dr. Styles, but I kinda miss it just being us two.” She said nervously and Diana smiled.

“I get that.” She said quietly.

“You’re not mad?”

“No, of course not. I think after what happened I was just a little bit overprotective, I’m sorry if I pressured you into bringing me along.”

“It’s OK. So starting next week you can just wait in the reception area.”

“Yeah, of course.” Diana smiled and took Celeste’s hand. She was so proud of her and how Harry just empowered her to communicate and be open even when it came to having tough conversations like this one.

“I love you.”

“I love you most.” Diana said with a smiled.

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