#which is weird because i don't listen to it that much

[sexybritishllama]

okay i've finally sat with my feelings long enough after listening to the finale and now i come to you all with one message: PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SILT VERSES

'what even is that', you might ask, to which i will answer that it is

some of the best fiction i've consumed in recent memory with unbelievably well-written characters and worldbuilding

more specifically: it is a weird fiction and horror-fantasy podcast set in a world where gods are real, gods are everywhere, and they must feed, and they must be fed.

the story starts off following two acolytes of an outlawed god as they set out on a pilgrimage up river, and as the story unfolds you find out more about this world, what it means for a god to be unlawful, what other kind of gods there are out there, the systems that enable all of this, and, most importantly, how people go on living in a world dictated by the hunger of great and powerful things beyond our understanding

i could say more, but i really do think the way the world and plot gets revealed to you as you listen is part of the joy, so i really don't want to spoil much more just please please give it a go because it genuinely blew me away and now i need everyone else to understand

you can listen on their website here, but also on apple or spotify or any of those other places people listen to podcasts

have issues processing audio stuff or just don't like listening to narrative podcasts? good news, they have transcripts for all their episodes too, which have their own delightful appeal in the parentheticals and stage directions

other random points:

it is a FINISHED story, it has 3 seasons with 46 episodes (which is really digestible compared to other podcasts that i can appreciate have an overwhelming number of hours in them)

it honestly feels reductive to even bring it up but it's worth mentioning that cast is full of queer characters, but that's also like, the least interesting thing about any of them because they have SO much else going on

we've got found family (derogatory)

we've got shrimp gods

literally what else could you ask for why are you even still reading this post go listen to/read it NOW

[sovaharbor]

actually am i the only person who finds it so fucking weird that varric of all people was the one to die for solas. like. varric? varric??? they didn't even get along half the time lmao... like there's an entire part of cole's arc where him and solas are diametrically opposed and whoever "wins", the other is very much not happy about it. what the fuck happened between trespasser - where varric is literally viscount of kirkwall and kinda fucking busy with that!! - and suddenly him giving this much of a shit about solas????

okay, yeah, he's in the comics. okay, yeah, he's working for the inquisition in the comics. but honestly

i'm gonna be so for real, i don't really think i'm going to listen to the comics when this is apparently a plot thread in knight errant lmao. VARRIC got an invitation to SEBASTIAN'S birthday party?? varric, the guy who literally hated sebastian???? who would be hated by sebastian, in turn, especially if hawke saved the mages - which i'm 99% sure is what happens in bioware's canon? so like???

i dont know. it's just so weird. varric being in inquisition makes sense. cassandra forces him into it, there's a lot going on, man he just works here. whatever. but his role in TV just does not to me. him choosing, apparently, Apparently, after this, to continue with the inquisition, when he's busy being viscount (and hates it, yeah, sure, but he's still doing it because kirkwall is his home) and doesn't really care about solas except now he DOES, actually, to the point that when he is confronted with solas actively doing the ritual he's supposed to stop, he thinks he can talk him down. when EVERYTHING he knows about solas points to the opposite. he knows he is stubborn and obstinate and yeah, he cares, but that is why he is doing this. he knows solas cares to a fault. knows he will do anything to fix what is apparently a wrong by his own hands.

so why talk to him? why DIE for him? varric is smart. varric knows people (or so he thinks). that's his entire fucking schtick. you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me he's gonna sacrifice his life for SOLAS?????

it's so weird man. i don't even know if any of this made sense. but it's so weird to me.

[nikethestatue]

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And just because Elain thinks she is ready, doesn’t mean she is.

Nah this is weird to say. I thought you were all "we respect what Elain says" and then you pull up with this..

Azriel not wanting her exposed to the dread trove is straight up coddling, especially when Elain says she wanted to do it. That is not a good look. He's holding her back for her potential as a made seer. How could they go on spy missions if he doesn't want her in danger?

But when Elain had to claim she was a part of the NC, then we take her word for it? Though none of the others has had to claim to be part of it, it's show, don't tell with them. Even though "the spring court was made for someone like Elain", she smells like "a promise of spring", and "black suck the life out of her, no matter how much she claimed to be a part of this court"??

It comes across as a bit... pick and choose imho🤷

Just saying..

You guys are strange when you think that 'coddling' is some type of an insult. No, caring for people that you love and not putting them in danger is not coddling. It's being cautious and smart.

Azriel has a first hand view to what powers that are unknown and uncontrolled can do to a person--namely Nesta. She is destroyed. She is suffering. She is plagued by horrible visions, which he saw in person. Azriel saw how Elain was after she was Made. She was destroyed. She was suffering. She was plagued by horrible visions, which no one could explain (until him).

Azriel who went to Hyben to rescue her might have felt the connection that she had with the Cauldron. Cauldron's infatuation with her. Two days later, she made that thing purr.

She also clearly states that she needs to 'dust off' her powers. Aka, she doesn't use them and doesn't really know how to utilize them. NONE of them know how many of these powers work. And Azriel's seen again and again and again how rushing into things--which is something Rhys tends to do--and having awful plans or no plans (remember that lil trip to Hybern? THAT was a raging success. Or that trip to Summer? Or ten other things that Rhys half-assed and failed at) -leads to more failures than successes.

Furthermore, was Cassian coddling Nesta when he set her in a tree and forbade her from moving from there? And what happened when she did? She was SAed by the Kelpie. When she was sent to the Prison, she was almost killed, Cassian was almost killed, and when Cassian ordered her to run, did he coddle her?

Azriel is the first person to say: this is a bad idea. He is RATIONAL. And he is a strategist.

When he told Mor--the warrior queen of immense power--that she may NOT sneak into the Queens' Palace, he wasn't coddling her. He was mitigating a potential disaster.

When he advised the IC that Elain shouldn't be exposed to the darkness of the Cauldron, he wasn't coddling her. He was acting as a member of the governing body of his Court and an experienced warrior.

Interesting how you don't bring up how the same Azriel didn't 'coddle' Elain during the war, but offered her Truth Teller and told her to take care of herself.

He didn't attempt to hide her powers from her--he named the and gave them a way to be used and explained.

A woman saying 'I don't like this man' or 'I belong in this place, where I live' is NOT the same as her saying that she can go and essentially diffuse a nuclear weapon or look for nuclear warheads in the middle of Kandahar because she's read the manual once.

Be for real.

And, I, for one would LOVE to see a woman being loved, protected and coddled by a man, for a change.

It's funny how all of the hardcore Nesta stans are raging over Cassian NOT coddling her enough, not caring for her well-being enough, not protecting her, and listening to Rhys all the time, but when it comes to Azriel putting his foot down, suddenly it's him preventing Elain from doing stupid shit for Rhys.

(side note, this is not an anti Rhys post. But the dude isn't a very good strategist)

[hotasfahrenheit]

my top 10 ql shows of 2024

we're a week into the new year already so i guess i should finally get this list posted 👀👀👀

to make this list, i kept an ongoing note in my phone all year of all the ql shows i watched, and then i sat down a couple days ago (*cough*a week ago*cough) and rearranged them to figure out which ones were my favourites. i didn't have any kind of ranking system going through the year (besides being very sure by the beginning of february what was going to be my absolute favourite of the year- and i was right) so this was all based on the vibes i was feeling about all these shows as i made the list, thinking back on them over the year.

i had JUST finished one of these shows so that's part of why i wanted to let it sit for a few days- make sure my ranking wasn't skewed by the feeling of having finished a show then immediately making the list right after while it was fresher than anything else. a week on, i'm still solid on these. i think. i keep looking at this list and being like "wait, did i really love that show more than this other one? did i? how is that one not in the top 10? wait but the ones above it are also just so good" and if i don't just post a list then i'll never stop fidgeting with it, so here we go!

10 - 4Minutes

was 4Minutes perfect? no, but i enjoyed the twisting layers of narrative and the speculation and discussion around this show so much. there were multiple times i thought i had things about the story figured out, and i kept being close to correct, but it kept finding ways to surprise me anyway.

9 - Love Is A Poison

this show was an unexpected delight in so many ways. it was funny, it was smart, it was wild, it was bonkers, i hope they get to make more of it.

8 - Jack & Joker

the longing, the heists, the shenanigans, the friendships, the everything about this show. it got a lil shaky towards the end but on the whole it was such a fun time, and it's still so incredible and such a triumph that they even got this show made, and i love it forever.

7 - Meet You At The Blossom

ANOTHER TRIUMPH OF A SHOW. so pretty. so splendid. so many long sleeves being waved around. so much nonsense and adventure. a fantastic pairing of characters, a fun side couple, just all around perfection.

6 - Love Sea

does this show get a biased boost in the ranking because i love Fort and Peat so much and even an imperfect show with them in it was going to be something i loved? maybe. possibly. probably. Peat spent the whole time looking expensive and pretty, and Fort spent the whole time looking like he was going to devour him, and they're just so good together. sorry not sorry.

5 - 1000 Years Old

this show gets two gifs, because they're my gifs, and i loved it SO MUCH. definitely a weird little show, but it had so much heart, and the way the story built was incredible, and it was just such a warm, beautiful show about found family and embracing your weirdness and being yourself and also love. all about love. the deepest love, and patience, and being willing to try again no matter how many times it takes. also soup, and so many umbrellas.

4 - My Stand-In

(this gif is from this set i made)

this show. THIS SHOW. the acting, the story, everything about it was absolutely insane and was all-consuming especially towards the ending of it. i love stories with complex, nuanced characters, and i love actors who can make you angry with how good they are at playing terrible people. this show had me shouting in the group chat all the time and it was just such a wild ride. an EXPERIENCE from start to finish.

3 - Love In The Big City

an absolutely stunning work of art. i watched the first two episodes with @poetry-protest-pornography when it first released then we both got busy with life for a bit; i listened to the audiobook at work the last week of December and immediately slammed through the rest of the episodes compulsively. i couldn't stay away. i had to inject it into my being. i'm aware that i interacted with and experienced this story differently than a lot of people i've seen talk about it on here because it didn't resonate with me in all the exact same ways as i am a straight person, and i saw a lot of people talking about how deeply it spoke to them about the queer experience, but the themes of loss and loneliness and searching for purpose and meaning and love were universal enough that this show did a number on my heart and soul and still is echoing in me now.

2 - Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo

another stunning, emotional show. this story had me in its GRIP from the first episode and has still not let me go. it was a rollercoaster and was such a deep tale about forgiveness and finding ways to just live life and how it's never too late for a new beginning. about how sometimes you can't let go of people, and you shouldn't. about being able to find and keep love and joy even through the darkest times and places.

1 - Love For Love's Sake

aslkdfjhalsfkdjhafd obviously. obviously this was my number one. an absolute powerhouse of a story about love and acceptance and being willing to not only help other people take second chances on life, but allowing yourself to as well. about being willing and open to loving and caring for others, and loving and caring for yourself. about taking control of your situation and writing your own future. about love, for love's sake.

THAT'S THE LIST.

everything here is obviously my opinion, if there's a show you're curious about that you loved that you don't see here, comment and i'll tell you where it ended up in my longer list (unless it's something i didn't get to this year!) and let me know how my list compares to your faves!

-------------------------------------

Bonus round: honorouble mention - Knock, Knock, Boys!

listen, as much as i loved all the other shows here, i considered making this a top 15 list instead of 10 because i loved this show so much and it didn't feel fair that it wasn't included. it was goofy, it was heartfelt, it was fun the whole way through and i really loved it a whole lot. 15 would have been too many tho, so this just gets an honourable mention at the end instead.

-------------------------------------

any gifs in this post that don't have credit under them are ones i made! i don't have the time or energy to make new gifs for every show so i just pulled from things i'd already made and had on my hard drive, or used ones made by others where needed. thanks to the other gif makers whose stuff i used!

[eri-pl]

Do you have any thoughts about the voices of the other Ainur maybe? Because it's fascinating to hear you describe this stuff

Ooooh thank you for this ask!

How do I answer it in a satisfying way without starting to happily ramble about things even more beyond my rambling ability? I'll try.

Varda has a high voice but not shrieking. Her voice is rich, not hollow like Melkor's. While his would be like a trumpet, her would be something clearer, but still I would say a wind instrument. Piercing, but clear, cold but not icy. I'm bad with instruments. Or maybe a violin. If we could imagine something that sounds like a violin but also a bit woodwindy…. Or if a flute could be really loud. With an intense but controlled emotion underneath, until she would release it. Like a very technically good singer-actress.

Arien would be similar, but with the emotions fully present. Just in contrast to other fire spirits it's not rage. Or at least it's a holy kind of rage? Also, her voice is a bit lower. Still a soprano but less insane in scale.

BTW I forgot to include the "their choices were like instruments" part on the previous ask.

Manwë must sound like a wind instrument, obviously, and I would say a woodwind, because they sound less demanding and more kind. Middle pitch, one of those who disappear easily, though in the Second Theme he was one of the main singers, so… what's the woodwind analogue of a cello? Clarinet? But clarinet sounds as if it had a cold. :( Also, birdlike. So, yes, maybe a clarinet.

I do have a bit of a problem with Manwë, because he is the king, but also he is rather … not passive, but how do I say it? Not very attention-grabbing. It would have to be one of the difficult to compose parts where the melody is belowe part of the accompanyment. It's hard to not let it disappear, but it can be done.

OK, if we just assume that it's him and Varda together, it's much easier.

Eonwë would be probably like a kind of trumpet anyway, or a French horn maybe? Something military-like. Relatively high, a tenor to say it in human terms. Very orderly, no chromatic notes (I don't think Manwë did them either).

Ulmo is the ultimate bass. He is the lowest of the lowest, like the deep sea. Not adding to the melody, not easily noticeable but he is the one that tells us which chord are we doing (except inversions). He…. sets the tone, to say it simply.

Aulë is also rather low, but not as low. And I would say he is always in the bechground (especially because Melkor stole a huge part of his spotlight), he is a supporting instrument. In orchestra terms, I would say a timpani, because all the banging sounds of smithing. And I like timpani. And if not this, anyway he would be like a pitched percussion, something metal, tubular bells? (Also, Mairon is totally a metal... glockenspiel? something like this. Or the glass thing? One of those with very clear, somewhat child-like tone, and very pretty.)

Nienna goes between rather high and middle tone, but she generally joins others, harmonizes to others instead of trying to create her own melody. She adds the chromatic tones, but lessens the conflict between melodic lines. In terms of instruments, probably a viola. Very lyrical.

Yavanna… I don't know, I don't like her too much, she of all the Valar has most of the Elvish "I don't like it whe things end" energy. Relatively loud, high but rich, and not as high as Varda. Less like an instrument and more like a wordless voice. A lot of emotion in the voice, primal, protective, pained sometimes.

Námo. I have no idea. Very few parts, mostly silence, but when he sings it's important. Like a piano that only plays at the cadences or half-cadences at least. And just like a piano he is not extra loud, but he is impossible to not notice. In terms of vocal, very controlled, emotionless, with the frustrating clenched throat thing that tells you "yes, if anyone here knows anything about making music this song will have a reprise because this tension has to go somewhere".

Vaíre. (Does she have the accent even?) By visual association, it should be something with strings. So probably cello. Mostly background, but a more interesting kind of background than Aulë got.

Irmo. I need to learn those accents one day… Something swingy, but less obnoxious than a saxophone. Relatively high voice, but not outstandingly high.

Este. Something quiet, for sure. In terms of human voices, an alto. In terms of instruments, something quiet but with a muffling effect on others? More like brown noise than actual instrument, but no, it needs to be a proper instrument. So something with a "dirty" tone but not ugly or ominous? Again in terms of singing, imagine an alto with a sore throat, this effect, how do you call it? The way it changes your voice.

Oromë is medium pitched, and horn-like. Most of his melody is just trying to block Melkor and his lackeys. That's what he does. He's good at it. I'm not sure what this means exactly in terms of music, probably doubling the important (and most in conflict with Melkor) chord tones.

Vána would have a high but not extra high voice, and very birdlike, playful. In terms of instruments imagine as if those clay birds that you pour water into could do a melody. Her song is laughter-like.

Oh, and the more "primitive" four (Oromë, Vána, Nessa and Tulkas) are, I would say, Singing in a pentatonic scale that is a subset of the general key. In lay terms: they are singing in harmony with the others, but simpler. I would probably ass a tangent about scales at the end.

Tulkas is a bass, of course, but not as low as Ulmo. He is loud and simple, but well harmonized with the others. He does maybe get a tad too loud when trying to sing over Melkor. Maybe.

Nessa is very staccato (a lot of short notes), like halfway between singing, laughter and a xylophone. Medium to high tone.

OK, so now about scales.

First we have the pentatonic scale (For example: C, D, F, G, A). It's simple, has only 5 notes and you can't get a dissonance or anything very "ugly" when playing just it. This also means it can't create much tension, you can't have a lot of emotion, or a satysfying climax to a melody. I imagine the First Theme as pentatonic scale. Not necessarily very literarly in terms of real music (Tolkien would say I cannot), but in terms of the general... vibe? I would approximate its nature by the concept of a pentatonic scale.

Then we have the normal major or minor scale. The white keys, basically. Using those it is possible to mess up, because they do have some dissonances between scale tones (B-F, B-C and E-F especially). And for the very same reason, you can have tension. you can have emotion. And you can have a resolution, because you can have a dissonance and then resolve it (move it into a consonance in a way that is satysfying).

Major scale is the scale that goes from C, it's typically considered happy and more powerful. Minor scale starts from A, and is considered more sad. But it's more complex than that.

Also, chords: again we have minor and major (and others)

major chords are chords like CEG, GBD, and FAC (I am using B in the English sense, what in Polish we would call H). They sound more powerful and more triumphant.

minor chords are chords like ACE, DFA, and EGB. they sound more sad, less powerful I would say.

and then we have power chords. They are just empty inside: just CG, or DA, or EB and so on. With a noisy enough instrument (like a distorted electric guitar), due to physics of sound and resonances, they end up sounding like major chords and tbh they sound cool, but from a music theory point of view they look really stupid. Obviously, they are neither minor or major.

maybe let's not get into stuff like suspended chords and jazzy 6-chords, let's just say that they are verious kinds of chords. And the more chromatic the chord (ie the more complex, the less it is like a power chord or just a blatant banging onto an octave) the wider voicing it needs to sound good. A wide voicing means larde gaps between notes when you look at them on the score they are … the score is tall.

And then we can have other scales, and we can have chromatic tones, which means: tones that are theoretically not in the scale but we use them anyway (it's a sad song but we sing it anyway) (because some jerk tried to make a mess for example). They can create a lot of problems and sound ugly when used wrong, but also they allow for intense emotion (think: Chopin).

And again, with the use of chromatic tones, we can have the more interesting chords. We can get into more jazzy sounds, into chords that can't be properly classified as minor or major (and in contrast to power chords I would say the answer is closer to "both" than to "neither"), that theoretically would have internal tension but surprisingly they don't when they are spread enough and with less classical set of chords there are more toold for interesting resolution of dissonances.

I will not apologize, though maybe I shoud have warned you beforehand that I do have a thing about … I don't even know how to call it exactly. Anyway I like talking about absurd questions like "which scales was Ainulindale in" in the same way Medieval philosophers loved to discuss angels on a pin or stuff like this. It does make sense in my head.

If I had time to get into composing again… Which won't happen in at least a year. Not that I ever got too far with it. But I did got a bit somewhere and I have too many things I don't know how to express otherwise.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

NaNo 2024: Victory!!

Hello, world, here's my tidied desk in the aftermath of FINISHING ANOTHER BOOK!!! It took me EXACTLY four (4) pens this year (I was literally writing my wrap-up stats in the back of the notebook when the in on the last one started to go!), on 82 pages across two (2) notebooks, and preliminary* word count is 71,541!! (*subject to change once typed--I count by hand and tweak as I type haha.)

Also featuring: the NaNo Earrings, Volumes 2 and 3 of the Bitch Journal (where I whine about writerly things and also Reflect On My Process--I learned very much this year and got a lot of dopamine from it!!), the tiny watch that kept me company in my tertiary writing space, the earplugs that made working at home Tolerable (mostly), and some of the frantic scribbles on scrap paper (I got a LOT of mileage out of a dead receipt that Panera misprinted for me lol).

Now, onward to TYPING!! I would love for this not to take most of December, so I'll probably have more Unhinged Goals About That (I don't know why I am the way that I am), but! The hard part is done!!

[someobscurereference]

Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.

x

[uozlulu]

We've hit the sensory overload part of Christmas and are now well in the worst 12 or so hours of it.

[pokimoko]

5, 10, 20, and 25 for fic in review ask thing!!!

5. What ships captured your heart?

I am a gen writer through and through, so it's a very rare thing to see me writing a ship-focused fic. That said, I really enjoyed the pairing of Karlach and Astarion this year, though I wouldn't say I shipped them necessarily in a romantic sense. The fic I wrote that had them together had their relationship tagged '(it's fairly ambigious; is it romantic? queerplatonic? platonic? yes), (the love and devotion is there regardless)' which I think basically sums up how I view them (and also how aromantic I am about shipping 😅).

I also liked Billford, but in a strictly 'oh yeah they're super divorced, they are never getting back together' kind of way. Not sure if that counts as shipping, but hey, it's definitely counts as something.

10. What fic was the most satisfying to write?

I would have to say either 'The Poetics of Space' (Gravity Falls) or 'On Waxen Wings We Soar, In Spite of Inevitable Ends' (Baldur's Gate 3). They were the two fics I was the most happiest with this year, not only regarding the quality of the writing itself and the themes they explored (the constance of change not only in the world but also ourselves, and finding joy in and making peace with the time you have left), but also how they tied everything together in their conclusions. Both of them equally made me feel a 'wow..I did that' feeling of accomplishment when I finished them, so yeah, they both were absolutely the most satisfying to write.

20. Share your funniest line.

Being more of angst-based writer kinda limits my collection of comedic lines (even my more comedic story this year was extremely angsty), but there was one line I wrote this year that got a couple comments about it making the reader laugh, so I'll go with that one (because if two people found it funny, surely it must be, right):

“You try fixing an interdimensional portal for thirty years without learning physics," (Stanley) said. "I know what quarks are now. Do you know how much I hate knowing what quarks are.”

25. How did you recharge between fics?

Usually I'd spend the first few days after finishing a fic trying to figure out the what the heck to do with the spare time I had previously allocated to writing said fic, and then once I figured that out (and had yet to be overcome with the urge to write something else), I'd probably watch a TV show, read a book, play video games, and do some art. I'm boring like that.

Send me a number!

[thethingything]

I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again

[foxgirlmoth]

I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.

Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.

Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it

[exoexid]

just realized something and even tho it's something very silly i feel so bad about it 😭

[supercantaloupe]

hiii do you have a fav orchestral oboe solo? I love the one in mahler 2 mvmt 4 :)

this is lexi btw for some reason my asks only go through on anon so I'm going to tag myself @recapitulation

ohh that's such a tough question...i don't think i could choose just one. but tchaik 1 mvt 2 is Speaking to me right now though. those slow lyrical ones from the late romantic era i think are some of the hardest but most rewarding ones to play well, and some of the absolute sweetest to listen to

[imaginary-wanderer]

~#~