#which is very older conservative male

[illgiveyouahint]

To understand why we're so happy about the election you can just look at the fact that our security information service (our intelligence institution) has for years been warning that our current president is keeping very dangerous close allies of putin as his personal advisors and just last week they've been interrogating our current president about him possibly leaking very sensitive security details to the russian spies in our country.

And now we've elected an ex-NATO general who just two days after the election is already meeting with the these Security Information Services and talking together about the dangers Russia is posing for our country's security

Also our current president has refused to make a general out of this super respected guy in the security information service ('cause he's the guy who keeps telling our president about the dangers of Russia) and first thing our president-elect wants to do? Name this guy general of course. It's been like 10 years overdue promotion

[johannestevans]

The Joy of Trans Creation

On the liberty of making unapologetically transgender art.

Originally published in Prism & Pen.

For me as a child, there was no real transgender representation around me.

Transfeminine characters were exciting when I saw them, even though they were frequently the butt of jokes, highly sexualised, or the targets of violence from the narratives they appeared in. They were never afforded complex character arcs, and I can’t recall any trans women on my screens or on the pages of the books appearing for more than an episode or in small appearance before being killed or disappearing off-screen.

And trans men?

Nothing.

In the British soap series, Waterloo Road, there was a narrative about a trans guy that started when I was a young teenager myself, and it was… difficult. The narrative was clumsy and uninformed about trans experiences. It seemed more about cisgender parents’ anxieties about their trans children and was very conservative in extending liberty or freedom to the trans guy’s life or his body. He was sporty, a football player, and dykey — he was presented almost as if he was transitioning just to play sports.

And the obvious inspiration for this Waterloo Road plot, She’s The Man (2006) was…

Well, that wasn’t much to write home about either. The film is about a girl disguising herself as a boy in order to play soccer. I know that Amanda Bynes, who played the protagonist in She’s The Man, has talked in interviews about experiencing a lot of gender dysphoria whilst in the role, but what better encapsulation of the fact that trans roles were and still are so often played by cis actors who have no business doing so?

I remember watching She’s The Man as a kid and finding a lot of the jokes not very funny. These two trans male narratives, the only ones that I ever saw until I was much older, bore no resemblance to my life, my desires, and my feelings, whatsoever.

They were cisgender heterosexual people’s fantasies of transgender men. One is about a woman “thankfully” going back on her vile trans ways and revealing herself to be sexy and female after playing at being a pathetic and unmasculine man; the other is about an undesirable and lesbianish teenager who is “obviously” transitioning to get around misogyny, more than for any of his internal feelings.

I felt far more gender euphoria — far more excitement, more sense of feeling loved and cared for and genuinely represented and validated — when I saw effortlessly queer and fruity men on my screens. Characters like Hook and Smee in Hook (1991), or Armand and Albert in The Birdcage (1996): two silly, middle-aged men being overdramatic and in love with one another. Or characters like Hollywood Montrose in Mannequin (1987): fashion-focused, catty and, emotional.

Or, hell, even characters like the sexy gay leather bikers in the Blue Oyster Bar in the Police Academy movies — they’re intended as a recurring punchline, but nevertheless portrayed hot hairy men who dance the tango and unapologetically love and desire other men.

I did not feel like or want to be an eternal little boy for being transgender, continuously infantilised and emasculated, treated as if I wasn’t a real man. Moreover, I had no interest in feeling or acting as though manhood or masculinity or men were something I should have been superior to.

I’m a fashionable, pretty gay dude with so many joint problems that going for a jog can put me out of action for days. Narratives about straight trans guys, let alone ultra-sporty ones, couldn’t bear any less resemblance to my life or my desires as a man.

There’s a reason many cisgender people are attracted to these narratives about transmasculinity, and unfortunately, it has nothing to do with truly supporting the trans men who are lesbians, or who are sporty or straight. It has more to do with their feelings about which “women” are best to “allow” to transition, and so much of those feelings are based on their expectations of female attractiveness or desirability within heterosexual society, and never truly afford love or respect to those men.

And men like me?

We’re unthinkable, and thus, invisible.

Times have changed, a little — I do see more trans men on television and in film, bit by bit. I know that in animation particularly, great strides are being made in portraying various trans characters, and we see a much wider variety of trans characters in shows and film.

I do still think that I see far more they/them trans masc types who are often a white monolith with similar butch lesbian stylings, dyed hair, and certain piercings, often as a sort of introduction for cis hetero viewers to the concept of nonbinary identity or the use of they/them pronouns. I know many people like this in real life, nonbinary or trans, and the issue isn’t their physical appearance or the fact that they’re depicted like this — it’s that their characterisations are so often one-note.

I can’t think of seeing a character introduced as nonbinary who appears more transfeminine, or who characters would automatically label as “he” instead of “she” before being corrected to they/them, because nonbinary identity is treated in popular media as a sort of woman-lite; I can think of one gay trans guy who’s in Shameless; I can’t think of many trans men on television at all or in film who are fat, non-white or disabled.

Television and film are still a long way behind the beautiful diversity of real trans experience — but I write books and short stories. I get to create, as a gay trans man, trans men like me, and trans men like my friends, and craft narratives about trans experience that cisgender people would never be able to.

I published my second novel this month. One of the main characters is a transmasc fallen angel with BPD — he’s cold and arrogant, manipulative, cruel, and at the same time, he’s endlessly loving and charismatic, he’s beautiful and savage, he’s radical and believes strongly in his ideas, and in the rights of everybody.

I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams as a child seeing a character like that in any book I read. But many other trans men, trans people, queer people, and readers in general, will be able to pick up my book and connect to that character, see themselves in him, and love him or despise him as they might any other character.

There is no limit as an indie author to the trans characters that I can create, or how many of them I can have. I don’t have to limit myself to having a singular trans man on a cast of cis-hetero characters, his whole person and physicality aligned to the cisgender stereotype of transmasculinity.

I have dozens of trans characters in the universes I create, and many of them are trans men like me, or not: fat trans men, trans men of colour, Jewish trans men, disabled trans men, traumatised trans men. They’re tailors, revolutionaries, students, teachers, historians, archivists, office workers, stablehands, fops, librarians, adventurers, rogues, pirates, sailors, bastards or angels, heroes or villains.

The sheer joy of that reality is striking me regularly at the moment whenever someone leaves a kind or enthusiastic comment on my works or in their reviews. There’s so much joy that people display in reading my short stories or buying my books, and God, the wonder that I feel when I attend conventions or events and people recognise me or recognise my work and enthuse about it to me.

There is no greater compliment to me, no better assurance, no more loving thing to be told or to overhear, than “Finally, I feel seen.”

“He’s just like me!” or “I’ve never felt so represented,” or “Oh, I want to be him. I am him already. I love him.”

It’s lonely to be transgender.

In a society that punishes and penalises any acts of gender transgression or perceived deviation from the norm or expectation, the transgender or nonbinary or otherwise gender-nonconforming person is constantly at risk — and aware of the risk — of ostracisation, of victimisation, of violence, or assault. We go through life aware that we may be attacked or discredited, violently assaulted, denied medical care, treated as unworthy of love, abused, harmed, hurt.

We must fear and be wary of isolation from our friends, our loved ones, and our communities, because society fears us and has been taught it can hate us. Other people, those that we love, that we care about, forging those connections and keeping them strong, they are how we can survive.

And how do we do that, when we don’t know in our heart of hearts that those like us exist? When we can’t be sure that we exist?

I was very lucky as a young man to feel confident and assured in seeing myself and then establishing myself as like the queer, fruity men that I saw and loved on the screen, no matter that they weren’t made with the thought of transgender men like me. Yet so many others, people I talk to, people I’ve never heard of, do not have that assurance.

They stand in front of a mirror and they don’t see anything. To feel transgender before one’s transition is often to see oneself or think of oneself as existing in potentia. We are an egg yet to crack and hatch; we are a soul without a vessel as yet.

How can we imagine a future for ourselves when we can’t envisage it? When we have no framework or canvas or idea of how a person like us can look, can live, can exist? How can we conceive of what we might be or what we truly are, when we might be grappling with our own pains and trauma and dysphoria, and at the same time society’s disregard of us, when we have never known or thought of others like us existing — let alone existing in beautiful diversity, in variety, in the complexity that we truly do?

Whenever I get one of those comments or whenever someone says a kind word to me about my work as a trans man and I see the light in that person’s eyes or the enthusiasm in the words they’ve written, there is an unspeakably immense happiness and joy in it.

To have taken part in that, to have created a mirror for that person to see themselves in, a character or characters that make that person feel real— not merely validated or represented, but seen and loved and cared for by a complete stranger, I can name no greater privilege.

It’s a shame I didn’t have that in my childhood, sure, but what’s important is that I and, far more importantly, a whole variety of trans and nonbinary creators, are doing that work today.

In Daniel Ortberg’s Something That May Shock and Discredit You, there’s a truly beautiful quote:

As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: “God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.”

In being transgender I have created myself — no longer in potentia, I have developed and evolved. I’ve played with my hair and my face and my jewellery and my clothes; I’ve fed and nurtured my masculinity and my love for men and manhood as a gay man; I have created myself, and that’s been very joyful for me…

But to create works that help other people, transgender or otherwise, men or otherwise, create themselves? See for themselves the sort of people they’d like to be, how they would like to make themselves created?

That is a triumph beyond measure, and I am so grateful to do so.

[clairedaring]

watching ep 1 of my stand in, my impression was that the series emphasized quite a lot on joe's bottom virginity...

gif of the wonderful @supanuts

... yet they forgot to include my two most favorite little tidbits regarding this is (1) joe explaining why he's always been top his entire life and (2) joe forewarning ming before they fuck that if his sex skills is mid, he better tell him first. so here are the two excerpts from chapter 10 and chapter 11 respectively.

1. joe explaining why he's been top all his life (this happens during their meal at the restaurant together)

Yan Ming Xiu looked at him. Zhou Xiang’s attraction and desire for him is so obvious that it can’t even be concealed. Actually, there is no reason to conceal it. Between men, it’s better to be direct. Each takes what one needs. Zhou Xiang leaned close to him and softly asked, “So, have you really forgotten me?” Yan Ming Xiu gripped his chin and gently touched his lips, “Maybe I’ve only just remembered you.” Zhou Xiang burst out in laughter, “It’s quite timely.” He bit YanMingXiu’s lips, gently tugging it, “But I’ve been thinking of you every day.” Yan Ming Xiu asked softly, “Think of me? Thinking of me topping you?” “Actually, of me topping you but if you’re not willing, I can only suffer this time.” “You’ve really never been a 0?” Zhou Xiang jokingly responded, “Nope. I wanted to be (a zero) when I was young, but people wouldn’t even look at me because they thought I looked too mature. When I got older, it was even more unlikely. There are more 0’s than 1’s in the circle…so many fresh meats waiting for me; you think I’d go looking for people to top me?” Yan Ming Xiu gently reached his hand into Zhou Xiang’s clothes and pinched his slender waist, then says coarsely, “So then, if you’re going to do it with me, it’ll be your first time (being a zero)?” Zhou Xiang laughed, “Exactly. Don’t you have to be responsible?” “Haven’t topped you yet, what’s there to be responsible for?”

2. joe forewarning ming before having sex

Zhou Xiang smiled at him, “Let’s agree on something first. I still have to work the day after tomorrow. If your skills are not up to par, you better say so ahead of time, don’t dupe me.” He’s heard of people having to go to the hospital from their first time (being a 0). He just wants to have sex. That’s all. He didn’t want to be embarrassed. Although his words sound quite conservative, Zhou Xiang’s eyes have already nakedly swept at Yan Ming Xiu’s abs. His muscles are too beautiful and his skin so exquisite that it’s reflective. Yan Ming Xiu looks very thin when he’s wearing clothes but that’s probably because he’s so tall. Zhou Xiang didn’t expect that once Yan Ming Xiu remove his clothes, his body would be so firm, paired with his long legs and his face, click-click (clicking his tongue sound), his mood right now is just like a straight male having sex with an exceptional beauty.

so yea these are my two favorite bits that didn't really make the cut even though they were definitely hinting at it already. the other is probably joe was invited to a threesome (to which he declined) before getting the call from ming for that meal.

but in general, i think the series is really fast paced as opposed to the novel and i can see them being able to go through most major plot points of the novel. incredibly excited for ep 2 as everyone could probably tell from my spamming of my stand-in gifs these past two days.

[inatungulates]

Nubian giraffe Giraffa camelopardalis camelopardalis

Observed by caro_pietjouw, CC BY-NC

This is Moses, a bull Nubian giraffe (formerly considered part of the separate subspecies Rothschild's giraffe Giraffa camelopardalis rothschildi) at Soysambu Conservancy in Kenya. His unusual white coloration is a harmless skin condition that developed with age - according to a social media post from the Conservancy, he had normal coloration, as can be seen on the posterior part of his body in this photo, until around 2011. This aberrant coloration makes a contrast to most older male giraffes, who get much darker as they age - in this subspecies, their ground color becomes umber and their large, blocky spots will turn nearly black, making them very dark giraffes indeed.

Despite the Soysambu Conservancy keeping detailed field ID information on the giraffes there, I have not been able to confirm if Moses is still alive later than 2021; this observation is from 2019 and older social media posts from tourists in which he is featured describe him as old.

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

No, Amazon’s Rings of Power is not “woke”

It annoys me so much when people complain about Rings of Power being “woke.” First of all, because of the way they overuse the word, woke has become a next-to-meaningless term that can be applied to anything conservatives don’t like. Second, Rings of Power is only progressive in the most surface-level way; underneath that it is in fact extremely regressive. People who whine about Rings of Power being woke are not only annoying, they’re also just plain wrong.

Ever since the casting was announced, right-wing idiots have been shrieking about Black actors being cast in Rings of Power. These trolls have made all kinds of dumb statements about how Middle-earth = Europe, but they seem willfully ignorant of the fact that Europe has never been exclusively white, and there is no reason to exclude people of color from the cast of any Tolkien adaptation. Still, this didn’t make the show progressive in its casting (which was tokenistic) or its writing (which ranges from bad to horrible).

For instance, the only storyline Amazon writers could apparently think of to introduce Arondir was literally him being enslaved. I mean, really? Is that really the best plotline to go with? To be clear, I’m not criticizing the actor, I’m criticizing the writing. In addition, Amazon cast actors of color overwhelmingly in parts invented for the show—rather than as actual Tolkien characters—which more easily allows them to be sidelined by the narrative, and the casting overall was in no way diverse enough. So I find it bizarre that people criticize the show for its so-called wokeness, when very little effort was made from a diversity and inclusion standpoint.

Right-wing nutjobs also threw a fit about Amazon portraying Galadriel as a warrior, to the point where they started calling her “Guyladriel.” They whined about Galadriel being too feminist and too masculine in the show, but that’s the opposite of what happened and betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of Galadriel as a character. First of all, she fought at Alqualondë in one version of the story, so no one should have a problem with her wielding a sword. What IS a problem is everything else about her portrayal.

Amazon’s writers took one of Tolkien’s most interesting characters and stripped her of her power, her authority, her gravitas, her wisdom, and her ambition. They had Gil-galad, her younger cousin, order her around. They had Elendil compare her to his children, even though she’s older than the sun and moon. And they made her a petty, naïve, incompetent brat whose entire first season involves being manipulated by Sauron, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, having a bizarre will-they-won’t-they relationship with him. In addition, Galadriel is canonically tall and strong, and one of her names means “man-maiden,” but they made her short and waif-like instead.

Galadriel in Amazon’s show doesn’t even resemble the character Tolkien wrote—the character named Nerwen, who never trusted Annatar, who certainly never had some creepy Reylo thing with him, who was powerful and wise and authoritative, who had a marvelous gift of insight into the minds of others—not a quippy, rude, annoying idiot who is constantly being controlled by the men around her. I don’t know why anyone would look at Rings of Power and think this portrayal is progressive. It’s actually a failure of imagination: Amazon’s writers literally cannot conceive of a powerful woman even when all of the work of imagining her has been done for them.

In addition to the faux-feminist-and-actually-sexist portrayal of Galadriel, Rings of Power is also on the whole weirdly regressive from the standpoint of gender roles and gender expression. Tolkien’s Elves are canonically tall, beautiful, and long-haired, regardless of gender. Tolkien’s Dwarves all have beards. So what did Amazon do? They gave most of their male Elves short hair, while the female Elves still have long hair, and they did away with female Dwarves’ beards. They patted themselves on the back for “letting” Galadriel fight, but don’t show other female warriors—in battle scenes, for instance, why are all the soldiers male? In general, they made their characters adhere to conservative gender roles and gender expression, which is especially glaring because it contradicts what Tolkien actually wrote.

On top of all this, they decided to throw in some anti-Irish stereotypes with a side of classism, just for fun. They had the ragged, dirty, primitive Harfoots speaking in Irish accents, while the regal, ethereal, advanced Elves speak with English accents. None of the actors playing the Harfoots are Irish themselves, to my knowledge, which makes the choice to have them speak this way especially questionable. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?

All in all, it makes absolutely no fucking sense to criticize Rings of Power for being woke. It may look progressive on the surface because there’s a Black Elf and a woman with a sword, but that’s as far as it goes. The show isn’t particularly diverse to begin with, and it treats its characters of color poorly. Galadriel’s portrayal is disgustingly regressive, as is the show’s overarching take on gender. This is to say nothing of the caliber of the writing in general, which is unsurprisingly low. There is so much to criticize—like the nonsense about mithril, or the fact that Celebrimbor of all people doesn’t understand alloys, or the fact that you can apparently swim across the Sundering Seas now—which makes complaining about the show’s supposed wokeness especially irrational.

I also have to wonder if the people still whining about wokeness know anything about Tolkien’s works. Do they know that the crown of Gondor was based on the crown of the Pharaohs of Egypt? Do they know that Tolkien considered Byzantium the basis for Minas Tirith? Do they know that female warriors already exist in Tolkien’s books? Do they know when they rant about how much they hate “Guyladriel” that Amazon’s portrayal is actually too feminine? Ultimately, people who complain about wokeness in Rings of Power—or any Tolkien adaptation—are just betraying their own idiocy. I honestly think if Tolkien’s books were published now conservatives would scream that they’re woke too.

[redrobinsrobbingrobin]

Here is the aforementioned essay! I said I’d get it done (and my notes were pretty detailed anyway)

Dick's robin is representative of the distinction of youth culture coming to light as more kids distanced themselves from the conservative views and began questioning authority figures, during the 40s, when they questioned the actual effects and causes of war, questioned the authority behind it and the reason for not intervening earlier. Batman as a character was also introduced in this period, and is a call for social change. He is a billionaire who wants to help the lower class. He empathises with the people, he sympathises with the child that lost his parents in front of him, and death is a driving factor in both their lives. To me, this seems like a homage to the families who lot their children, their fathers, their brothers, to the war, and wanted to do and be better, to live their memory and be able to push through and help the world. Dick also puts McCarthyism into question, as he doesn't exactly obey Batman all the time, despite needing to. He questions Batman, he questions Bruce, he is rebellious and harsh, and angry, and maybe that's how he would have turned out, even without Bruce giving him a cape and weapons.he represents the beginnings of change, the start of hope after a war, the ability to raise yourself and your family above that.

Jason's post crisis character when referring to youth of the time is much like Tim's and Dick's. This was a period after wartime economy, where the majority of the population were people who couldn't fight in the war, where communism was a genuine fear, and his whole story line of 'crime alley, poor orphan, adopted by a billionaire,' pulls both capitalism and communism into question- why is there a billionaire when the people are suffering, and capitalism CAN help the few lucky enough to receive that help. In terms of youth attitudes, he came from a time of youth rebellion, evident in his later comics, where he pulled away from Batman which lead to his eventual death. He took more risks, he had an edge over Dick I terms of his street brawler style instead of Dick's grace in acrobatics. The older generations saw this rebellion of youth as off putting, and often refused to hire younger generations due to their more leftist views, and a perceived notion of them being radical and troublemakers. This stigma till exists today and is still evident in later Robin runs.

Tim’s characterisation as a representation if the youth is the most prominent to a modern audience, though, because he is representative of teens in the 90s/very early 2000s and they were attempting to get more teens into comics without it being seen as nerdy, however, this push for more youth diversity in comics prompted a huge shift in youth culture, where comics were now being seen as old people stuff and ‘nerd culture’ up until televised media (TV/movies) started adapting it to exclusively appeal to nerd audiences who didn’t want to watch new media, as it might mean letting go of old media. Televised adaptations also brought in new fans who could understand storylines visually and in a more efficient way than reading several decades worth of back reading comics could. Tim was a skateboarder and a photographer, and these pictures and excessive stalking of Batman and Robin could almost be seen as a teenage girl in the 90s having posters of her celebrity crush all over the walls. He also slept A LOT, which might be the writers trying to represent the youth as lazy in order to keep older readers and avoid being seen as 'pandering' to the youth.

Coincidentally, Steph was also introduced as a Robin during this period of the early 2000s which meant that DC were trying to ensure that women were being represented more in traditionally male media in order for the women’s equality movements to also be appealed to. She, as a character, does not fit into any stereotypical female character archetype (nosy reporter, damsel on distress, femme fatale) and is so evidently an individual of her own, without simply being a part of someone else’s character, like Tim’s. This shift in views towards women in comics was probably what stopped more comics from ‘fridging’ their female characters in order to elevate a male character’s story, even though Steph and Barbara were both pretty badly portrayed at the end of their individual runs (Killing Joke and No Man's Land, and Steph's baby). Her introduction as a Robin, 'the Girl Wonder' was so that Batman comics would appeal to more women, specifically, women who were actively less conservative and more likely to get into traditionally male medias, as many women in the 2000s were stepping out of conservative roles, and more were engaging in these 'nerdy' interests.

Damian’s introduction in a post 9/11 world, where the vilification of the LoA had reached a high and probably contributed to the extreme whitewashing of his character, sometimes seen in the DCAU, or even a lot in comics. He seems to feel ostracised by the rest of the family, because of his upbringing, the same way many Arabs and other ethnic minorities felt at this time. Damian being white passing also meant that he perhaps reflected the Arab youth in America who were not so outwardly ostracised by their peers due to the racial and religious tensions in the country. He was also introduced in or around 2006 (I can’t remember the exact date) where the youth were, again, largely viewed as rebellious or hooligans, which is NOT reflected in his character, not that I can think of any examples.

Anyway. That’s it for the essay, let me know if I missed something, or got something wrong, and thank you for reading till the end!

[wishcamper]

Nesta, Interrupted: gendered perceptions of alcoholism in ACOSF

CW: addiction, sexual assault, gendered violence.

Creds: I’m a licensed counselor with a degree specialization in treating addiction. I have career experience with multiple modes of mental health, trauma, and substance use treatment in women-specific carceral, institutional, and healthcare settings. And I know anyone can come on the internet and say that, but I pinky promise.

The short version:

ACOSF stigmatizes alcoholism in line with cultural standards.

Western culture feels differently about female and male alcoholics due to systemic sexism, and thus treats them differently.

Women’s experience of alcoholism is often compounded by or even a result of systemic factors and intersectional identity.

Nesta’s treatment in ACOSF, while repugnant, is in many ways very accurate of attitudes today.

(I’ll be using “women/men” and “male/female” to denote cis afab and amab people. Little research exists on the experiences of queer, nonbinary and gender expansive considerations in addiction and recovery, which is a fuckin’ shame. Studies are also largely conducted with white participants due to enormous barriers to treatment for Black, Indigenous, and people of color, so this convo is inherently incomplete where it neglects those intersections.)

Okay, first things first: ACOSF is a book that stigmatizes alcoholism. I will not be taking questions.

The number one thing to understand is that in America, land of Miss Sarah, we are very bad at addiction treatment (tx). Why? Because our culture hates addicts has as stigma around addiction. And female alcoholics bear a very specific set of stigmas based in their identity.

In Susanna Kaysen’s memoir Girl, Interrupted , Kaysen’s character is institutionalized following a non-fatal suicide attempt. When evaluated, she’s diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, that bastion of diagnoses perfect for people (75% of whom are female-identified) who don’t fit into our polite definition of functioning. As the book unfolds, she reflects on how (white) women are often pathologized when they buck against systems of oppression that create the dysfunction in them in the first place. That is not to say other women in the institution are not genuinely in need of help, nor that mental illness in women is always from a systemic wound. But it’s crucial in the treatment of female addiction and mental health disorders to considered the systemic factors of gendered violence and patriarchy, and the attitudes we hold about women who struggle with drinking.

Think about female alcoholics in media. If she’s young, she’s a loose, reckless sl*t looking for trouble and deserving of the reality check when she finds it (Amy Schumer in Trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan in general). Or if the woman are older, they are discarded, or gross, or pathetic, or evil like anyone Faye Dunaway played or Eminem’s mom in 8 Mile (deep cut lol). Men are afforded a much larger spectrum of experiences and struggles - Ernest Hemingway, Leaving Las Vegas, Sideways, the dude from A Star is Born, Frank from Shameless (brilliant), frat boys, blue collar workers, introspective tortured artists, fucking IRON MAN. I could go on forever, but I hope that illustrates the depth and diversity of male-centric stories of alcoholism not often afforded to women.

One of the most empathetic and accurate portrayals of female alcoholism, in my opinion, is in the show Sharp Objects (the book, too, but actually witnessing it makes a difference). We see Amy Adams’ Camille swig vodka from an Evian bottle while fending off vicious, veiled attacks from her verbally and emotionally abusive mother and experiencing flashbacks of teenage sexual assault. We watch her struggle to find emotional safety in her conservative hometown, both wanting to fit in and get out in order to survive. We GET why she drinks and I have trouble blaming her for it even as she wreaks havoc on herself and others. We can see her clawing just to make it out alive, and alcohol is the tool she’s using to do it, for better or worse.

Which is where Nesta enters the chat. When we get our first glimpse of her alcohol use is ACOFAS, it’s portrayed as something everyone knows about but that she’s still mostly keeping it together - her dress is clean, her hair is neatly braided, she doesn’t need a chaperone to show up to a family event. The deterioration between ACOFAS and ACOSF is alarming, and we know that alcoholism is a progressive condition so that tends to happen. Was there a particular trigger? That’s hard to say. Solstice certainly didn’t help, especially with the pressures to perform and conform to the standards of the Inner Circle aka the people in power. I imagine seeing her sisters bouncey and reveling in the world that stole them and killed their father was probably.. tough, to say the least. The barge party seems to be a turning point as well, though this one is more confusing to me. But given the child abuse, extreme poverty, sexual assault, kidnapping, bodily violation, witnessing her father’s murder, almost dying, WAR - and that’s not even to mention essentially becoming a refugee - it would be amazing if she DIDN’T drink. She 100% has complex trauma, and is looking for ways to cope.

No one with full capacity dreams of becoming an addict when they grow up. Addiction, in my professional and personal experience, is largely a strategy for coping with a deeper wound. People don’t drink to feel bad. They drink to feel good, and to survive. Nesta herself is drinking to survive, but it’s having the unfortunate side effect of killing her at the same time. As she slides into active addiction, the thought of her own death may even be comforting, and alcohol in that way is her friend. (There's some interesting research right now framing addiction as an attachment disorder, but I don't know enough to speak on it much.)

So she obviously needs help. That’s not a debate. What is a debate is how the IC should best go about intervening. A variation on the Johnson method is used in ACOSF (the one from the show Intervention) and appears to be successful only because they threaten her if she doesn’t comply. This method has mixed data to support it, and while it’s very good at getting people into tx, there is a higher relapse rate for those who receive it (1). The “family” gathers and tells her the ways she’s hurt them and tell her the consequences if she doesn’t seek the help they’re offering. And again, so many of their reason are the effects on THEM, how she’s making THEM look, not her pain.

The IC’s ignorance and dismissal of her alcoholism in ACOSF is frankly mystifying. Why do they intervene on all the drinking and sexing, anyway? It seems like they’ve been fine enough with it up to this point. But now it's gone too far, not because of her illness but because she is embarrassing them. And I don’t know about you, but between Cassian apparently fucking half of Velaris and Mor’s heavily documented emotional drinking, that’s hard to square. It makes it feel much more likely that they don’t like the way she is coping, that she is not fitting into their picture of who she’s supposed to be. This picture is inherently gendered, because Prythian society and those who live in it have explicit and implicit expectations of gender roles, whether they’ll admit it or not. Cassian and Mor are playing their roles well; Nesta is not.

That leads me to believe it is NOT all about her, but the systemic and internal factors influencing their perception of her and the ways she’s struggling. It’s distasteful to them for her, a female, to be deteriorating this publicly, despite the fact that her very identity makes it harder for her to function in the patriarchy of Prythian. We hear almost exclusively about sexual violence against women, aside from 2 male characters. Past or present assault of women is a major plot point on multiple occasions (Mor, Gwyn, Nesta, Emerie, Rhysands mom and sister, the lady of autumn, Cassians mom, Azriels mom, I could go on). But something about the way Nesta is contending with that is unacceptable, and I believe it’s because she’s not trying to cover up her dysfunction. In prythian, we keep these things hidden- Mor’s assault is never processed in full, Azriel’s mom seems to be alone at Rosehall, priestesses are literally hidden inside a mountain for centuries. Women process trauma alone and in the dark, but Nesta is in the light and she is loud. She is refusing to hide her problems, and the IC don’t like that, whether they realize it or not.

So why don’t the IC understand this? Like I said earlier, as a culture we hate addicts, or what they stand for, in very much the same way I think we hate people experiencing homelessness. We convince ourselves it was a series of bad choices that led someone where they are, choices we would never make because we are smart, smarter than them. We believe are more in control than that. We can prevent bad things from happening to us because we are good, because we are better than whoever it’s happening to. But the reality is almost ALL of us are one hospital stay away from homelessness, just as all of us are one trauma away from addiction. And with female addicts, we have another layer of expecting women to only struggle nicely and quietly, or to go away. Intersectional factors are at play here, too: white women are much more likely to have alcoholism attributed to mental health and trauma factors, where people of color often suffer the same addiction being more associated with crime. You can imagine how that plays out differently.

So what is the effect of all this? Gendered expectations lead to not only external stigma around addiction and tx, but also to internalized stigma which can limit willingness to seek tx. (2) Many social forces encourage women to drink and discourage them from telling anyone. Factors such as poverty, family planning, access to education, racial discrimination, and location can make services harder to access. Internally, women are more likely to enter treatment with less confidence in their ability to succeed, but report more strengths and more potential to grow recovery strengths during and following tx. For men, the pattern is reversed (3). And women have more successful tx episodes overall when gendered considerations are a part of the design and implementation of services (4). For Nesta, the effect is that she’s forced into treatment and copes by having hate sex with her ex and changing herself to conform to her family’s expectations while the House and the Valkyrie’s actually take care of her. I do not see how Sarah drew the line from there to recovery, I truly don’t. If anything, she recovers in spite of the ICs intervention, not because of it.

In summary, Nesta Archeron deserved better. Nesta deserved the same compassion the book gives to men who are struggling, and it’s a reflection of not just the book’s culture but the author’s culture that she doesn’t get it. Female alcoholics are worthy of treatment that integrates their identities, as those identities are often essential factors contributing to their addiction. What's shown in ACOSF is a reality many women live, and they shouldn't have to.

Barry Loneck, James A. Garrett & Steven M Banks (1996) The Johnson Intervention and Relapse During Outpatient Treatment, The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 22:3, 363-375, DOI: 10.3109/00952999609001665

Groshkova T, Best D, White W. The Assessment of Recovery Capital: Properties and psychometrics of a measure of addiction recovery strengths. Drug Alcohol Rev. 2013;32(2):187–94.

Best D, Vanderplasschen W, Nisic M. Measuring capital in active addiction and recovery: the development of the strengths and barriers recovery scale (SABRS). Subst Abuse Treat, Prev Policy. 2020;15(1):1–8.

Polak, K., Haug, N.A., Drachenberg, H.E. et al. Gender Considerations in Addiction: Implications for Treatment. Curr Treat Options Psych 2, 326–338 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40501-015-0054-5

[qqueenofhades]

Hello! I have a question that may be a tad uncomfortable but I don't know who could answer honestly. How do you get over class with a professor who self identifies as your mentor/father? He spilled his guts to me after class and told me how happy he was he connected to a young girl like me(Im 19 he's 59). He will be my prof for the ENTIRE year. I don't know how to feel, it wasn't flirty at all, and I actually think he sees himself in me. He's odd and off putting and stand offish. I am too, kinda. He said if shouldn't feel lonely because Im different, because I have my family, and now him (also Implied i should find god).

He's a conservative catholic with a wife and kids, I can tell he doesn't mean it in a weird way. He probably means well. But it's odd that he's acting like a mentor when I've only known him for a month.

Now, I thought this chat wouldn't affect me but he psychoanalysed me and it felt like he saw right through me while treating me like his therapist. I also think he's a lonely man who is projecting, seeing my potential and "what could've been" for himself.

How do I cope? I don't want this to affect me, but it pushed me terribly off axis. I felt pigeonholed, more than anything, and also feel bad for him.

WELP. Okay, first of all, I want to reinforce that this is NOT your fault and that it clearly creeped you out to the point where you decided to ask someone for help, all of which means that the situation is not okay and he does NOT have the right to do any of this -- whether forcing emotional intimacy on you after a very short time, suggesting that you Find Jesus and/or convert, hinting that he wants to "mentor" you, or whatever. Just because he's a conservative Catholic is no guarantee that it won't get creepier (indeed, often the total opposite) and even if it wasn't sexual or didn't feel sexual at the moment, that is... wrong. He should not have done it. He does not have the right to decide He Is Now Your Mentor and to push that connection on you. Even if it was not conscious or intentional grooming behavior, it is... squicky to say the least, showed that he was willing to push boundaries with you right away, and is certainly something that should make you cautious of any more uncontrolled or one-on-one interaction with him. So yeah. Gross. "Now you have me so you won't be lonely"??? Sorry, there is no scenario in which I can imagine that being an okay thing for a professor to say to a student. No. It may be that he just doesn't have a good sense of social boundaries or appropriate behavior, but that also doesn't mean you need to excuse it.

Next, if you can switch to another section or class so you don't have to spend the year with him, that might be worth looking into. If you can't, then obviously minimize the time you spend one-on-one (if there are office hours or if you need help with the class, maybe ask your peers or the TA if there is one, rather than him) and remember that you can tell people at your university if it continues to creep you out, not just me. There are procedures in place at most institutions to document this kind of interaction if it continues to cross a line (I don't know where you are in the world, but in the university where I work in the US, there's an office of Title IX, which deals with these kinds of issues). Older male academics smarming up to young female students and telling them they're "special" happens a lot, unfortunately, and while it doesn't always end terribly, it is something that you deservedly flagged as weird and which you should keep an eye on going forward. I'm sorry that you've experienced this and once again offer my support in navigating this year in as un-icky a way as possible. Please remember that you do not have to apologize for or excuse yourself for making choices to get out of a weird situation that clearly threw you for a loop, and you do not have to put up with this behavior if it continues or gets worse. Good luck.

[mariacallous]

Republican Senate candidate Bernie Moreno in Ohio questioned last week why older women care so much about abortion rights, saying it was a “little crazy” that some voters cited reproductive rights as their prime issue heading into the November election.

“You know, the left has a lot of single-issue voters,” Moreno said during a town hall event Friday in Warren County, video of which was obtained by WCMH-TV in Columbus, an NBC affiliate. “Sadly, by the way, there’s a lot of suburban women, a lot of suburban women that are like, ‘Listen, abortion is it. If I can’t have an abortion in this country whenever I want, I will vote for anybody else.’”

“It’s a little crazy, by the way, but ― especially for women that are like past 50. I’m thinking to myself, ‘I don’t think that’s an issue for you,’” he said.

Moreno, 57, is running against Democratic Sen. Sherrod Brown. The race will be one of the most-watched during the election as Republicans hope to win back the Senate, and it is already the most expensive of the election cycle thus far. Polling shows a close race with just over a month to go until voters head to the polls.

Brown posted footage of Moreno’s remarks on X (formerly Twitter) on Monday, noting that his opponent thought it was “crazy” to think women wanted to “make their own healthcare decisions.”

Moreno’s campaign cast his remarks as a joke in a statement to WCMH-TV, saying they were meant to target Brown and “members of the left-wing media” that like to “pretend that the only issue that matters to women voters is abortion.”

“Bernie’s view is that women voters care just as much about the economy, rising prices, crime and our open southern border as male voters do, and it’s disgusting that Democrats and their friends in the left-wing media constantly treat all women as if they’re automatically single issue voters on abortion who don’t have other concerns that they vote on,” Reagan McCarthy, a spokesperson for Moreno’s campaign, said in a statement.

About two-thirds of voters who support Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic presidential nominee, listed abortion rights as “very important” to their vote in a Pew Research survey earlier this month, while just over one-third of those backing former President Donald Trump said the same.

Other issues were more pressing to a wider swath of Americans, namely the economy, access to health care and appointments to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Trump has continued to tout his appointment of three conservatives to the nation’s highest bench, including three of the justices who joined to end the longstanding national right to an abortion when they struck down Roe v. Wade.

[transmasczeroone]

On coming out as trans:

I live in a very middle-class, Christian, conservative area, so I was bracing myself for the worst when I decided to come out publically to my co-workers and customers. (I work in a restaurant/bar that attracts a particular demographic: Imagine middle-aged ladies coming to brunch, older men coming for a pint after work, families bringing their children and dogs, most of them white, wealthy, and cishet. For context, I'm also 5 ft 4, and pre-everything, with a gender neutral name that leans towards the girly side, at least in my country.)

The first co-worker I came out to was a low-level supervisor, a gay cis guy in his 20s. He was a bit confused at first, had to ask a lot of questions to understand exactly what was changing, but ever since then he has been unconditionally supportive. He volunteered to tell the other managers that I'm trans, so I didn't need to go through the stress of that conversation multiple times.

The rest of the managers/supervisors (all cishet) at some point or another said that I can go to them if customers or other staff bother me (which hasn't happened at all), and all get my pronouns right most of the time, and are quick to correct themselves when they don't. They even go out of their way to use affirming language - one of my co-workers realised one day that that were no women on shift at the time, turned to me and said something about it being a boys' club and included me in that category. They celebrate my small wins, and the big ones, everything from "nice haircut!" to "ohmygod you're going on testosterone soon?? I'm so happy for you!!"

One of the managers - a cishet woman in her 50s, and the one I expected to have the worst reaction - asked a lot of questions to better understand me and offered to introduce me to her friend, who is also a trans man. This is a big deal to me, because I don't know any other trans men in my area. According to my co-workers, she's better at getting my pronouns right than almost anyone else.

Another cishet guy I work with is in his 60s had to ask what my he/him badge meant when he first saw it, and now he always makes a point of getting my pronouns right, especially in front of other people who she/her me based on my appearance or who need a reminder.

The male customers I serve on the bar tend to ask what the badge means (although some prefer to stare at it in confusion and not comment at all). My usual response is, "It's to remind people that I'm not a girl, since a lot of people think I am," which omits a huge chunk of the truth, but isn't a lie. I've never had a bad response, though.

When I explain, they often say, "Wow, I never would have guessed you were a man" (ouch, dysphoria) and apologise genuinely and quite profusely for calling me "she" or "sweetheart" or whatever earlier in the interaction. They're eager to assure me that they meant no disrespect. Some even notice the badge and apologise without having to ask what it means. Nobody contradicts me, nobody is sarcastic or thinks I'm joking, and nobody has ever said anything transphobic to me or asked invasive questions. Some get confused and sort of gloss over my explanation, but nobody has been hateful. Sometimes they seem to accept me as a cis guy, other times they're clearly aware that I'm trans, but it doesn't affect their response either way.

The worst thing I've encountered is customers who see the he/him badge, blatantly ignore it, and then misgender me throughout the interaction. Not ideal, of course, but far better than what I was expecting.

This entire experience has reminded me of a time I read in a comment somewhere that transphobes are a very vocal minority, that transphobia feels like it's ramping up recently because transphobes know they're losing the war and are screaming in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously. They're scared that all their fearmongering and hatred is, in fact, getting them nowhere. Maybe there's some truth to that.

As I said before, I live in a conservative, middle-class area, and there are no queer bars, bookshops, etc. for miles and miles, but there are at least 3 churches within a 15 minute walk of my house. And in the 5 months I've been out publically, the worst transphobia I've faced from a co-worker or stranger is just them not using my pronouns until corrected.

I'm not saying don't be careful when you come out. I'm not saying that things always go well. Sometimes they go awfully, and I've had my own bad experiences.

What I am saying is that my faith in cis people has been restored to quite an astonishing degree, that sometimes people can surprise you in wonderful ways, that there are people out there willing to accept and respect us, and sometimes you find them where you least expect them.

[purple-petrichor]

Gero and Scars

MarriageToxin Theory Time: Gero is horribly scarred. Specifically, on his torso.

Let's explore this:

>>Already has a facial scar

Gero is a bit unique among romcom protagonists for having a visible facial scar. And that one looks CHEMICAL. We know that Gero's upbringing was rough--was it due to his harsh poison training? If so, there's no way that treatment didn't leave other lasting marks elsewhere on his body.

>>Clothing as cover

Through the series so far, Gero tends to hide his body. He's shy to begin with, leaping away from nudity (with Kinosaki in chp 1, and with Ushio chp 91). But this also applies to himself as well. Gero is largely conservative about his own clothing.

He wears big, baggy clothes. Never goes anywhere without his coat either (although the character profile notes this is due to his job--lots of poison compounds hiding under there). It's relevant to note that we haven't seen him shirtless yet, despite other male characters (Sound User, Ushio's gym-obsessed uncle) stripping down.

Furthermore, when on the Ocean date with Himekawa, Gero wears a FULL WETSUIT. He really covers as much of his body as possible.

>>Hesitance around physical intimacy

Although this is a smaller point, it could perhaps be relevant. We know that Gero is very anxious about touch. Over the course of lots of character development he's become much more comfortable (such as being on Arashiyama's lap) with it, but in early chapters he used to physically flinch away and duck out of reach (Kinosaki, Ureshino). This could hint at a deeper discomfort with touch and physical intimacy--maybe he's subconsciously afraid of what people might 'discover' if they get too close.

>>All for the family

We have heard Gero speak about his childhood upbringing, and it was not a happy one.

The Poison Clan has no problem abusing their children if it means competent heirs. We see 'sensei' hitting him to the point of internal injury. And we also see him as an older boy, trembling as he works with chemicals.

Furthermore, when it comes to facial scars, his cousin Teruaki has one as well, at one eyebrow. It runs in the family, being a trauma that leaves marks both seen and unseen. Come to think of it, it's a bit strange that his sister Akari doesn't have one? If she does, where is it? I swear to god if that was because of some twisted sexist reason like 'don't ruin the girl's face so we can marry her off' ughhh Either way, in the Gero clan, there's no way you get out unscathed. Literally.

>>Survivor of a death game

This has not been fully elaborated on in-canon, but the implications have been fairly strong. The Poison Clan appears to select (or perfect) their heir by having children go through a set of trials. The survivor (?) becomes the official heir. Gero himself refers to this as essentially a death game.

It would be impossible to get out of this kind of Hunger Games without receiving some nasty injuries. Especially given the kinds of chemical substances that these potential heirs may have played with. Not to mention, the scene with him in kimono is the first appearance of that incredibly suspicious scar around Gero's eye, which I suspect may have a dramatic reveal later on. Really, I wouldn't be surprised if his body is littered with scars and/or other chemical burn marks.

What if Gero takes his shirt off and we just see a battlefield.

EDIT: slightly jossed by this counterpoint:

>>Arms

We do see a bit more skin than usual in his cat cafe date! Arashiyama really has a way of loosening him up. Here, the front of Gero's arms are visible, all the way to the mid-biceps. And....there's no scars. No suspicious chemical burns or missing fingertips. Hmm. Maybe he's a miracle heir and managed to avoid all damage except his eye? Or there are scars, just hidden around where the T-shirt covers instead?

[mrhaitch]

hi mr. haitch! just wanted your advice on some...boy advice. sort of.

i've been thinking lately about standards/requirements i would like in a partner, particularly if they were male. i think that if i ever have a boyfriend and date again, the bare minimum should be that he should identify as liberal/agree with me on a few things that i feel like every decent human being should believe in. for context, i'm american, and the main thing that makes me believe this is the idea of being pro-life vs. pro choice. if he doesn't think i should have my bodily autonomy, should i even be dating him? having kids with him? what if things go wrong during the pregnancy later in the term? would he want me to die, just like that woman did in georgia?

i know this is veering into politics, but i was asking this not to ask for your opinion on "being liberal vs. being conservative" but rather "xyz belief that i'm not sure i should be so strict on." i understand people have room to grow, particularly young men who are exposed to a lot of...things and radical ideas from a young age. this isn't to say that i don't want someone who disagrees with me, but i think in american politics there's a lot of things the right believes in that harm women, and consequently me.

so, the gist of what i'm asking is that do you think that young men (who are in college/in their twenties) grow in that regard? or do you think that, if from the get go that they believe in such things that i shouldn't waste my time?

i'm trying to keep this short (and failing horribly), but what really formed my dilemma is that i have a best friend (who is male), and he's a very nice person. became friends with me when i was not favorable with his friend group, i was chubbier, and he's the one who's helped me improve myself. still is friends with me even though his "bros" make comments about our friendship. we have insightful conversation and he's rare in the way that he actually sees women as people and recognizes the men who don't (his friends, who he's not really friends with because he recognizes that they suck). he's a decent human being, something not a lot of young men are.

however, he sends me content like "equal rights means equal fights," dark humor about feminism, interacts with onlyfans bait accounts, makes jokes about toji fushiguro from jujutsu kaisen (who has become sort of an icon for the incels who clearly have not watched the show) abusing all of his wives. a lot of young men think that just because he's muscular, tall, and powerful, he abused his wives and other typical woman-hating stuff. which is hilarious and horribly mischaracterizing but i digress. is this someting he'll grow out of and recognize as things that you shouldn't joke about?

as always, please feel free to ignore this ask if you think the mention of politics is something you don't want to discuss. i would understand. i would totally ask my dad about this, but he's conservative himself and my parents don't have the best relationship either. i hope you and haitch have a great day!!

Oof. Okay, my answer has some caveats to it so if you're hoping for something cut and dry then you may be disappointed.

Do I think boys with this kind of attitude can change? Yes. I have to believe that or my job would be pointless. Many of my students are male (in fact the overwhelming majority) and many of them hold views I would deem questionable if not outright bigoted. It's not necessarily my place to change their mind, but I do take it upon myself to find ways to challenge their thinking - albeit gently as these students have a tendency to become violent or start riots if they encounter too much opposition.

Case in point: the other day two girls in one class were talking about their experiences of creepy older men catcalling them on the way to school. We were talking it through, and a boy piped up with statistics about men's mental health and suicide rates. This boy is severely autistic and has an inclination towards what I think of as reddit-bro positions. I talked to him about it, gently, explaining that men's mental health is a pressing concern - but it wasn't what we were talking about. I then talked to him about it in greater depth, at a later point in time.

On another occasion some of my students complained that Pride Month overlaps with Men's Mental Health Month, and proceeded to argue that 'the gays don't care about men's mental health'. There have also been incidents where groups of boys have been loudly discussing how rape allegations are almost always false and women are liars, that kind of thing.

Now - I have to believe these boys can change or I'm wasting my time. But I'm also just their teacher, and at the end of the school day they are no longer my problem. Being in a relationship or close with them is a different ballgame entirely and you could be exposing yourself to harm.

Your friend may well outgrow this worldview, but it's something he has to do himself. Similarly for all men, really. If they can't talk themselves out of violent or derogatory views on women, women's health and wellbeing, and all of the other shit that goes with them - they should not be pursuing women romantically or sexually.

Fundamentally it's your call. They might grow out of it, but they might not.

[bluebird-in-a-cagedrawing]

Hi! It's time for another fanfiction... And if you love crimes/solving crimes and a little hard detective Work this is the perfect one.🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️

...

Also, to see how Helen Hope B and mister detective Void meet for the first time click on this fanfiction as well:

This is set 6 months before detective Void got his mask, so he is an ordinary detective here.

...

Warning:If you hate/dislike snakes you better not read this!

This is actually the third part, the second i didn't wrote it yet 😅

I plan to make at least 10 fanfictions, they are not conan to the real detective Void lore, but for me they are because itis set in the same Universe...

The fourth part name is: The other side of the mirror

This fiction is set a month and 4 days later after the actually lore.

P. S:This fanfiction took the life out of me, lmao 🤣🤣🤣😅 Thank you for your support, you are the best sweet slice of cake!

Hope you like it!

...

Title number: A box full of snakes-619

Fanfiction class:Euclid

Summary: 🐍🐍🐍👀Helen Hope B finds herself in a very strange case with none other than our favorite detective Void... 👀🐍🐍🐍

...

Disclaimer:I don't own detective Void, he is not my original character!! Find this cute original character on Youtube!!

...

The event was better than he hoped it It was the 15th anniversary of the company, a world-famous company, every guest had a good time, he was an old man at 62 years old with lots of responsibilities, one if his important guest madame Rossiya with her fiance mr Berliini, she was a lovely lady of about 47 years and he was the new director of a major Austrian bank just invited him at their table, they wanted to make a generous donation for the greenhouse where the exotic plants were keept, she was impressed by their colors and beauty, something worth conserve for the future.

Mr Greenmark also had been looking for him for sometime by now, the new reporters arrived and they wanted an exclusive report,it Was the moment everybody celebrate with a bath of confetti but in the moment the ceiling opened a male body not older than 49 years dropped, the wires nearly behead it...lt was a scene noone was gonna forget about too soon.

...

Three days later after the incident Mr Williard decided to open the tourist resort, 514 guests were invited all over the world, they have just received an operating permit from the emergency authorities, so all he had left to do Was to check the food, the lights if they were in the right position and of course the great speech which he wrote and rewritte all over again.

"Why so nervous old friend?"

Mr Greenmark was the second after Mr Williard in the great business, they have known each other since they were in their 30th.

Later that day the guests arrived, everyone were so excited, the good music, the lights, the atmosphere, some of them decided they will return again, the other already made up their mind to spend their honeymoon there, everything went well then it was time for the great speach however Mr Williard couldn't find his business partner Mr Greenmark anywhere and he made a gesture toward some staff to make a little search while he made his way to the microphone.

"Welcome to the Hazel willow tourist resort and also one of the largest laboratory where the anti-venom is prepared, we have a large range of anti-venom from at least 1471 species... The laboratory name is Lady-in-white such a beauty, and i am your host Mr Williard W. Monarch, my grandfather was a butterfly specialist, did his research on them all his life, clearly i choose something more dangerous. Enjoy your stay! I am ready to answer all your questions!"

"Sir, mister Greenmark is dead, sir in the west wing of the greenhouse...It's too horrible!"

Everybody turned their heads at the maiden that just come in while some of them gasped or returned a shocked gaze upon mr Williard, some of them even started to gossh, it was something neither of them would forget too soon.

"Poor fellow, being buried in a pile of venomous snakes... Now that is what we call a venomous karma death... All the bad blood between in and out you see...Well, till the police arrives we better check out our rooms for snakes and lock ourselves in them..."

"I agree, who knows who will become the next victim, poor mr Greenmark, rest in peace!"

People talked and gave opinions, that was everything you could heard in the next three hours, it was getting late and the luxury event waan't luxurious anymore after the macabre incident, yes, that is how they put it...Mr Williard was affected the most, two murders in the same place in such a short time, the police still investigated the other one, what a bad luck.

"Is everybody ready, well i would like to say a few words, now i know some of you are concern about all those snakes bites but we guarantee we are trying our best to control the situation, no snake can enter the resort, please don't panic. Now lot's of you asked me why this is happening well my opinion is that because of the hot sunny weather, the climate change, the rainy and dryness, snakes are active pradatory if they find food much easier they build their muscular mass, they shade more often and that creates a need for reproduction, with optimal conditions.The female snake can lay 20 to 60 eggs, in the wild the eggs don't usually survive so that is one of the reason of such many eggs, some of the eggs are infertile those are named slugs... Now it's time to identify some types of snakes like the coral snake, we have the picture in the left corner as you can see, the king Cobra on the right, you can see the beautiful head, magrove snake in the middle. "

"Mr Williard, may we have a moment... Your snake presentation was fascinating but i would like to know more about those snake accident..."

"Such a shame indeed, me and my good friends put a lot of efforts in this company, to be attacked by those creatures... What on Earth is going on?Imagine being bitten by a snake and then ended up hung, who would do such a thing and why?"

"Do you have a greenhouse, sir?"

"Oh yes, is where we keep some of the most rare flower species, my mother loved them, we are trying to protect them by giving them what they need, i am afraid that the ground quality had dropped in the past years. We need to be prepared for anything as humans. "

Helen was in her light blue dress, she looked for any sign of a potential anomaly on the guests that were coming, the heels was killing her, even if it was an elegant event she wish to have brought a pair of sneakers. It was some few moments later that she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning around Hope had found an interesting familiar face, this time he Was wearing a dark light mask which made her was sad a little, Hope considered the color of detective eyes very beautiful and unique, she couldn't understand why would detective Void choose to hide it.

"And what are you doing here? With another SCPs bussiness? This place is the last place i would expected to see SCP foundation members. "

Hope was taken back a little, the detective voice was a little cold and dark, that was strange for her, it was like he was there with her but still he was not.

She didn't wanted to make a scene, yes Hope was a little hurt, but it's not like she would actually admit it, It had to be diplomatic, the diplomacy was always the key to success.

"Look, i don't know why you are acting like a jerk, but not really...Well, yes, sort off... We intercepted some strange calls from this center being attacked by snakes..."

"Is that all? Is there something more about it and you won't tell me just because it is a foundation thing to do, who is the jerk now?"

"Why are you acting like this? You know very well if some objects are involve in this, how dangerous it can get... Clearly, you mister detective can't keep away from these anomalies..."

"It's nice to see how much you care!"

"I don't like it when people are getting hurt, i am trying to change something for the better..."

"You don't make such a good job..."

"Look forward mister detective, what do you see, those people are afraid, to think this all started two months ago when first Mr Williard found a strange gift box on his desk and when he opened it, it had sheded snake skin along with an actual dead venomous snake in it. Of course you don't have to believe me you can ask him in person. "

"Well, it's the moment we all have been looking for, before we end this i want to thank you all for all of your support even in those hard dark moments, on your seat you will find a box that is a gift from our company to you, dear guests, together we made a better year. I felt honored to be here with you today."

As everybody was preparing to open their gifts, looking at the box detective Void had a feeling about that, something told him to stay away from ot and his reflections kicked in.

"Wait a second, do not open the box! Hope the boxes now! "

Hope throw her gift box as well, the others were confused and some people started to scream, they could hear some kind of hiss coming and the first thing they thought was it might be a bomb.

"Those are taipan snakes, they are native from Australia."

"You know those snakes well, maybe we can work together, can i see the Laboratory where they recolt the venom from the snakes?"

The next day even When everybody took their breakfast the tension remain thick, the police told the Witnesses to remain in the building as if one or more of them could be the culprit behind all of those acts, they woldn't have been surprised even if they found a snake in their pot of tea.

"Chef inspector Daniel Sunrise and this is my young sergeant Jaxon, we are here to investigate the strange case of the snakes, we need your statement as well as your fingerprints, in this case everybody is a suspect, we are just doing our duty if you may follow us."

"Great, just great, please mister detective Void tell me you had worked with the police in the past... Now we have them on our tail too, great so freaky great. I am so tempted to use amnestics on them after all this is over, they could put us in the jail for something we didn't do...Oh, fuckk my life double it! "

"Hope don't be so drastic the police is not the problem here, we just need to be careful not to arouse suspicions, as far as they know we are cousins and that is all."

Detective Void and Hope could see that it was more to this story so they put aside the whatever Was going on and tried to work as a team, they both were mature enough, plus Hope felt much better with a familiar face, since she wasn't used to work alone, that and too many strangers.

"If you may take a seat, this should be quick, we still have 303 suspects to check them so first question is where were you at 8:21 pm this Tuesday?"

"I was with mister Gorenje talking about the big event that night unfortunately that was postponed because of the discovery and my cousin was waiting his turn for the karaoke number, you can ask our host, Mr Williard."

"Seems fine till now, let us see some ID cards, huh interesting seems like we have a private detective here, I swear that all detectives have this nature that anywhere they go, they will find a mysterious case."

"I would like to offer my assistance in this delicate situation."

"Fine by me, just don't mess up the scene, let us handle it and if you find anything let us know after all this is an official police department business not some detective work.Come on, send the next ones on the list, you two are free to go for now!"

"Ok, i am gonna put myself together! We have to work together to end this nightmare, like i said before those people are afraid, mr Williard is one of the nice people i have meet, always making sure others get their anti-venom if their life are in danger even if they can not afford it."

"Seems like I will take this case, with 4 murders in such a short time and 3 more victims, the police sure are not enough."

"Ahem, you won't be alone mister detective Void, i will help too, i always wanted to work with a detective in secret that is... I sincerely would love to."

"Fine by me, but no SCP foundation business...Also are you saying this only to make yourself feel a little better and find courage? "

"Is not like i can call them, if it's not an anomaly they don't care speaking between you and me and to answer your second question, it is an yes, snakes scares me."

"Great... Now lets find mr Williard office, somethong tells me that he is there, did he mentioned anything about the office?"

"Mr Williard i will take the case, along side with Ms Bright here, we will try to make everything in our power to find the culprit and help the police catch them."

"First thing first this has security cameras, right? I will go and see what the cameras caught and you Hope, i have a list of question s you may address of guests and stuff around here, maybe they saw something."

Thry have been searching and asking question for about an hour and 45 minutes till they finally meet again.

"Well, what did you find out, mister detective Void? Had any luck?"

"Well, not so much, it made me think that whoever is behind this knows well this place, but i found something interesting in mr Greenmark death. You see, mr Greenmark was all alone at the moment when it happened, noone was around but somehow he stumble upon a wire, i suppose it was a bit dark maybe he did not see it and the venomous snakes falls upon him."

"That is crazy indeed, maybe we did not find anything else because the police took the rest already, anyway i also found something interesting."

"I doubt chef inspector Sunrise would leave such an important evidence behind, so what have you found?"

"First Mr Williard and Mr Grinschmoire, the man who was the second death, had an argument two days before, a maid named Sylvia heard them and told the receptionist about it. Unfortunately, Sylvia has been missing for some time, everybody thinks she is sick or that she has left after the second murder..."

"That is strange, maybe Mr Williard hides something from us, he told us there was no trouble at all... And for this maid i wonder why nobody thought she could be dead as well till now?"

"Maybe we should call off today, mister detective Void, i'm tired from all this detective work...Hope you don't mind it but with so many snakes around here i'm feeling much safer with you."

"You can stay, it's not like i can make you leave in the first place, i will read all the answers and organize notes about everything we know so far."

"Goodnight and thank you!"

Even so, the truth was that Helen forgot to take a room, she though that she didn't need it in the first place, nearly almost 3 days without sleep, she just tried to be busy as a bee just to forget about something, anyway if she knows something about men Was that they have big egos.

"Good morning, ready for a new day? I woke up with this feeling which tells me that we are gonna find the last piece of clue to end it today, can not wait. "

"I just spoke with mr Williard, we have a new clue where we can search, i added to my agenda, are you ready for a trip Hope?"

while they were going detective Void saw a white-yellow substancs powder on a top of a rock, it was the same one found in the laboratory were some snakes were held captive, it was indeed odd to find it there since those snakes were caught in the opposite direction away from the place they were.

The door to the cottage was unlocked, but it was more like someone forcing entry, Scratch marks were present on the wooden door. So entering the cottage the two of them begone to search for anything usefull that may had lead them closer to the truth.

While searching detective Void tripped over a ditch almost would have fallen too if he didn't grab the first thing he could get his hands on, slowly revealing a nice nest full of eggs.

"Those eggs are tall, big and heavy, wonder which bird lays them?"

But he did not have time to find the answer When Hope started to speak, by the sound of her voice the detective notice she Was afraid of something.

"Mister detective, there is an anaconda... A 15 feet long life anaconda...Ahh!"

Her heart skip a beat, Hope was paralyzed by fear, the sharp snake tongue hissing at her and the huge opening mouth revealing its sharp fangs was a nightmare before her, she felt like a mouse.

Mister detective Void could see only the half of the body of the giant anaconda, the anaconda was in the position to strike probably it compare Hope with a heavy meal.

Before she knew it, Hope felt on a pile of something, the anaconda head look at her from above but the window Was too small for such a large body shape.

Helen couldn't open her eyes she still Was afraid, of course dealing with anomalies Was much easier for Hope, they have the technology and there were people she could count on, plus an anaconda that long could eat you in a second and you should know better than to provoke such a large snake.

"Am i dead? Am i in a belly of an anaconda?"

She did not dared to open her eyes yet till she felt a hand on her check, the detective wanted to make sure Hope was still alive and to assure her that there were no snakes near her, he sigh as for someone who was kissing the danger almost everyday Hope sure Was more pale than usual.

"No silly, you just passed out, come on, that anaconda won't bother anyone ever again!"

Hope slowly opened her eyes, finally he thought, they could move on, still she wanted to know What was hiding behind the pile on which she had landed.

A mountain of boxes beautifully arranged they were in front of them, and the detective knew, the only question remain Who brought them there?

"Well, at least we know what happened to the gifts that were suppose to be given, are you alright?"

Hope yawned, Who would have known that the cases were so energy-consuming, she looked at detective Void, clearly something was with him but she couldn't figure it out and it's not like they spoke about it. The poor detective must have been shocked too, that snake had been something she was sure they won't forget soon.

"Just a little dizzy, probably from that snake..."

"Put your hand around my shoulder mister detective, let me carry you, we come together, we leave together...ok?Just try to relax, you are too tense."

They reached the resort, mr Williard was waiting together with Karina also there was another police car near, they have been waiting for them.

"Do you need anything, water, are you hungry? I will speak with Mr Williard myself, promise me you will stay here."

"Incredible, an anaconda this tall takes some years and if they have enough food, what happened to the eggs? We can not let such a gene pass, having more anaconda like this it will destroy the eco-sistem."

"Yes, i know, we also found the gift boxes discarded and covered with an old blanket, we didn't found much i'm afraid.

Helen was in one of the dead point, if the detective was right this was the moment they finally catch the one responsable for the unfortunately incidents. It wasn't long before a shadow appear, it was fast, Hope had begun the chase...for her it Was now or never.

She had both of her guns with her, the suspect would have no escape from her, she was determined When she heard a bottle break, and initially thought it was detective Void.

"Well, what do we have here, i will take that... Do you recognize this remainder of broken shard, miss? I will only ask you once, judging by your face, I know you do so let's hear it! "

"I recognize it because i was in the kitchen before, but only because my detective cousin haven't a proper meal and i was worried for him! I told the Head chef if he could make some dumplings for detective Void, it was there when i saw the package with sealed champagne bottles to be given to Mr Williard guests in that evening. "

"How convenient that you just see these bottles, the same bottle with which my sergeant was hit in the head. What i am saying is that you both are liars, do you even know your so called detective cousin name, miss?"

"My name is Simon Angelo Smith, and my cousin Helen Hope Bright doesn't use my name when i do the whole detective work, please stop with this, you are on the wrong track here if you think she has anything to do with this attack!"

"That would make a cute story for children but i'm afraid the facts prove otherwise, hands behind your back miss, you are arrested!"

"Let her go, you have more important things like your sergeant laying bleeding on the floor."

"Hands up you, in the corner right now!I am the one who gives the order here, back in the corner."

"This situation is geting out of control, mister detective..."

They watched for more few seconds, there was when Hope used the B class amnestics on the inspector and his Sergeant, after they left the sergeant on the Infirmary, they put the inspector on a chair somewhere else for when he was going to wake up and left him there.

"There is nothing amnestics can't resolve, now the 24 hours are gone. So glad i have them with me."

Hope and detective Void decided to tell everything they know to Mr Williard, the poor old man was waiting for news like hot bread, the mam understood them and give them the keys.

As they split up again later that night Helen saw something moving, it was big and looked heavy, plus some pleople in uniform but trying to get closer another trap net full of snakes falls on her, lucky Hope knew exactly about it but the sound it made caught unwanted attention which forced her to flee from there.

"Mister detective Void, i saw something... Ah...Ugh, also i think one of the snakes bite me, i can not feel my leg anymore..."

The detective caught her, leaving Hope gently to the ground, then he took the out station he had at hand while trying to make sure the venom wouldn't spread any faster, mister Williard and a team of medics soon arrived after, Hope attempted to make some jokes, she didn't wanted to put more salt on the wound.

"Obviously for someone who got bitten by a venomous snake you are pretty chilling and vibing... Glad to see you are not the type who would scream their lungs out!" One of the paramedics said as a joke, it was nice to see someone agreeing with her, slowly turning her head in detective Void direction.

"See mister detective Void, i told you i am a tough cookie, not made of sugar...And why should i scream when i know everything will be fine, after all i have the best detective i could ever ask for right next to me and a dedicated rescue team!"

After a while only detective Void and mr Williard remain, the detective carefully planned the next move, he was very focus looking straight at the door, maybe it was time to put an end to this whole saga.

Mister Williard looked at the detective, him and the girl risked so much for the sake of his business and for the lives of the others, he had to encourage the young man somehow but didn't know how.

"It's lovely to see how much faith she has in you, as a young couple I assume...Don't worry we will keep an eye close to her, Hope is in good hand, now you can go and finish what you want to do."

Those words took him back, he slowly took two steps back, couldn't believe what he was hearing... Sure, he and Hope Were a little closer after all they have been through but a couple, the answer was simple: no.

"Am I that obvious?"

"It's just an old man thought, i used to be very protective of my sweetheart as well when i was young.When we, men, find the right person for us we don't know where is left and where is right anymore!"

"Alright, i am going to work on some paper, you know hospital related, don't move around too much, let the anti-venom do it's job and drink lots of liquid..." The nurse slowly put her hand on Hope left shoulder, encouraging Hope, while she left, Helen moved her head to the window, knowing the detective she couldn't stop being worried at what he might do all alone with the" vipers".

"Please be careful mister detective Void, don't get hurt!"

Detective Void enters the room, somehow he knows exactly what to expect, he didn't know how, he just did, the room colors gave him a headache and the smell of perfume, it wasn't like an ordinary criminal case where the walls were old and smelly with some visible mold.

"l must say i have found our marriage boring at one point, he was always looking at young women, do you know how boring that was? Even when it was our anniversary he couldn't take off his eyes of some maid ass or chest, made me sick...Tell me detective what would have been the point if we got divorced? why shouldn't i have all his money and even have more money from those sales? Elegance lies in snakeskin, shoes, coats, hats, purses, Wallets, i could have rule the world, me a woman, a fresh widow which doesn't give a penny for that weak pig cheater!"

"You bribe your husband and Mr Williard economic agent to do your dirty work just so you could eliminate him later. After you got what you wanted you left those papers in one of Mr Williard books as a clue for the police to find it later, so that they would thought he is the one responsable. Two birds with one stones!"

"Exactly detective and if you were smart enough, you would have left things just the way they are."

"Well, it turns out there's nothing more to say then..."

"Exactly. Goodbye detective!"

"What a wonderful terrifying experience we had, right mister detective? Also thank you for saving me again, i just can't keep my little tail out of trouble, don't I? So, um...would you like to meet more? It's not like you keep yourself out of the whole anomaly situations anyway..."

It's been a week since the police arrested Mrs Grinschmoire and the whole operation shut down, Hope felt better and she just finished her entire report of course without mention the detective, she knows Matei and Vivienne would not let her go that easy especially after she was bitten but Helen could live with that.

Chef inspector Sunrise and some other police fellow found the suspect in the middle of the room, her gun was five meters thrown away from Mrs Grinschmoire as she was on her knee looking like a crazy old lady, nobody could find an explanation, they also found a confesion voice recording type along side with money and a large snakeskin clothing range, soon after they found the rest of accomplices, unfortunately Sylvia was found dead.

"Speak for yourself, Hope i am busy..."

"Well, i tried, what can i say more? Just, try not to get yourself killed, alright? Hope we meet again, i can't wait for it, so much fun when you are around..."

"Before we take a different path again I feel like there is something else you want to say to me, your expression gives you away, so what is it?"

"I...Mister detective would you like to go and see... The next time we meet each other maybe we could go together and...Damn, it's much harder to say what i want to say... Look ok, since you like so much to... All those SCPs thing, maybe one day we could make a visit to this lovely place which is a SCP, it has an incredible view..."

"I have one question first:why me?"

"Because just don't ask, i don't have an aswer, i just want to show you the good part of the scps not only the bad one..."

"I will think about it and don't worry if i accept i will let you know after all i am a detective and i always have my ways."

"I would never thought the other way anyway, mister detective Void, till then take care, hope i will see you soon!"

They shook hands and then the door closed behind the detective, he had done well for now, sure never doubt himself ever again maybe after all this detective Void will find the right path to find what he has lost.

The end!

The simple drawing without text:

🙂

[anim-otd]

Animal of the day: Silky sifaka! (Propithecus candidus) This small primate calls the jungles of northeastern Madagascar home! It is named for its long, soft fur, which gives it the appearance of a little cloud drifting among the trees! These lemurs are variably social, living in groups of two to nine individuals at a time! Males have a brown patch on their chests, and as they get older, both sexes lose pigment in their face, sometimes leading to a rather pink face! Silky sifakas primarily feed on seeds and leaves found in their environment, and very rarely soil as well for the minerals contained within it! Rather unfortunately, however, the silky sifaka is critically endangered, with less than 2,000 left in the world. None are currently kept in captivity, and conservation efforts are being made to keep this cute creature from going extinct! Image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silky_sifaka

[ffxivaltaholic]

LFRP: Diarmune Rhet-Khas

Character Name: Diarmune Rhet-Khas

The Basics ––– –

Age: 55

Birthday: End of Summer

Race: Viera

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Marital Status: Single

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Quite long and silvery white. It is almost always pulled up in a ponytail. When down it is long enough to sit on (Hence why it is always up)

Eyes: Pale Green

Height: 6"1'

Build: Athletic and fit

Distinguishing Marks: Minimal scars from years of working with dangerous plants and animals. Two sleeves tattooed in a vine and floral pattern with a flower on his shoulder.

Common Accessories: His Gleaner gear, a journal, some kind of plant or flower probably...

Personal ––– –

Profession: Gleaner

Hobbies: Botany and Horticulture

Languages: Common (With a Thavnarian accent)

Residence: Thavnair/Sharlayan

Birthplace: Thavnair

Religion: The Twelve

Relationships ––– -

Spouse: None

Children: None

Parents: Father: Elías- Alive/Silk Maker | Mother: Myra - Alive/Tailoress

Siblings: Sister (Older Twin): Sofina - Alive/Student | Sister (Younger Twin): Helina - Alive/Student

Other Relatives: None that he knows of.

Pets: Korpokkur (Named Plum), Great Morbol (Named Dahlia)

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal 

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit:  Nope Drugs: None Alcohol: Very rarely, he is quite a light weight and suffers terrible hangovers.

RP Hooks ––– –

SHARLAYAN: While much of the Viera's time is spent away, he does return to his Sharlayan home from time to time, whether it's to bring in a specimen or to simply visit with old friends, he is not to difficult to find there, particularly as his clothing tends to standout against the more conservative and neutral tones of his Sharlayan counterparts. As a significant contributor in his field of study to the vast library over his three decades of work, Dia is most likely found there, but also will peruse the market and visit Labyrinthos from time to time. Especially if any of his projects are flourishing.

THAVNAIR: Born and raised in Thavnair, Dia spent his entire youth there with his family. They are prominent silk makers and tailors, specializing in ornate and delicate garments. He's very familiar with the locals and after the panic of the End of Days subsided, Dia visits far more frequently. He's often found in the Radz-at-han market, out by Palaka's Stand, or in the silk factory pitching in to help his parents. A Thavnarian born, he has an identifiable accent and tends to wear garments that connect him to his home.

GLEANERS: Are you a Gleaner too? Then there is a good chance you have crossed paths with him at some point in time, especially over the years of intense gathering in preparation for the End of Days. Due to the nature of his work (Specifically in regards to dangerous plants and plant-like creatures, IE: Morbols) it's very likely your Character might work side by side with him, or at least in the same vicinity.

TRAVELS/IN PASSING: There are very few places on this grand shard that Dia has not been, which means his availability to meet people is vast and ever expanding! Perhaps you came across him at an Inn, or aboard a ship? Maybe you met him in one of the main cities, or out in the boonies of the continents... Regardless, Dia can be basically anywhere necessary to meet your character. (Note: Not the First however, I'm fairly lore strict on this point since only the WoL can freely travel back and forth at this point in the story and he is not a WoLPC.)

Contact Information  ––– –

I would prefer to be contacted via Tumblr first before giving out my Discord.

In game and Discord RP works for me, though I prefer in game.

His Carrd: https://diarmune.carrd.co/

[moonsprings]

maybe it's because i've been through it these last two years with a shit ton of personal shit that happened (family deaths, friend with illness) that everything feels a lot more... more but this news of lee sun kyun's death has been shocking. it feels odd because i'm a lot more sad about it than i expected to be, just from a human perspective of not wanting other people to feel the kind of despair necessary to take your own life. i wasn't a die hard fan but a casual fan nonetheless (cue self callout about liking middle aged men with nice voices... lol.) and while admittedly i've been more of a fan of lee sun kyun's wife (actress jeon hye jin, who is famous in her own right) in recent years, he was undoubtedly an actor i watched growing up. coffee prince was the hit drama when i was in grade school, back when my family used to watch korean cable/broadcast tv at home. then pasta, then my mister which i consider his representative work, more so than parasite. it's a horrible thing that's happened.

there's a lot of context that's missing on the western side of the news, mostly to do with the whole hostess/escort blackmail situation that had been unfolding on korean news in the last 2-3 months which likely compounded the entire scandal and his decision to do this sadly. imo this entire thing has far less to do about drugs than people actually think though it's still a significant factor. lee sunkyun has always had a 'family man' image on kor tv and the revelations about him and the alleged hostess/escort who had been blackmailing him who supplied and took drugs with was a madame/hostess from a VIP (basically rich people only) room salon/hostess bar he appears to have been having an affair with for a while which irreparably damaged his image and reputation and likely his marriage and family. rumors had been circulating that his in-laws were urging jeon hyejin to divorce him, they supposedly sent their kids to an overseas boarding school because they were getting bullied in korea over lsk's scandal, and he was facing millions in won in contract violations penalty fees from cancelled CFs/advertisements and tv and film work that was delayed because of the scandal (also fucking hell, just saw the news report saying he left a message to his company's rep apologizing for the penalty fees right before his death). the same penalty fee situation happened to actor yoo ahin after he was convicted of drug charges and is now reportedly millions in debt. that is an incredible amount of pressure, even if part of it was the consequence of his actions. and to be clear, these were stupid choices he made but the reaction was so wildly disproportionate to what he's been accused of.

i feel like if it had "just" been drugs, or "just" been the hostess scandal, he could have made a come back after a few years as many other korean celebrities have (way more than people think, and he has more leeway as a critically celebrated, middle aged male actor who is not an idol), but it's the combination of the drugs, the 'room salon'/hostess club situation that just exploded, and the corrupt police placing this level of constant pressure and publicity on him that caused this imo. his private phone calls and messages he made with the hostess were leaked yesterday from a known r/ight wing kor youtuber before his suic-de. having seen it reported in the kor news, it's difficult to describe the contents of it other than being very personal and frankly, embarrassing (and i mean this as neutrally as possible. think adam levine-esque) in a country as conservative as korea when he's telling a s-x worker he 'really likes [her]' in the sense that he has feelings for her. and again, his wife is a prominent actress and their public images are tied together. given the timing, it likely wasn't just about the drugs. and i know the whole room salon/hostess bar thing is incredibly common in korea, in older stats some say something like 70% of korean men have frequented one (though it's increasingly becoming less acceptable and therefore less common, which is why the public reaction been harsh) and i really don't approve of the cultural aspects that have allowed this to be permissible (as a korean-american) but i feel like that's a personal issue that should have been handled by him and his family. if it was one or the other he could have made a return but i think the pressure of it being this public and detailed due to police likely being the ones intentionally leaking information from the investigation was just too much for him to handle. it feels like the police purposefully went out of their way to humiliate lee sun kyun in the press and public to try and get him to admit to the drug charges because g-dragon, the other celebrity that was implicated, proved his innocence rather conclusively and the police didn't have anyone else to use to get some high profile publicity.

...so we started the year with a suic-de and ended it with a suic-de. it's telling, i think. obviously i don't know any of them, they're 'just' celebrities who literally don't know i exist (as it should be) but honestly my chest feels heavy watching dark coats and emotionless faces walk into the university hospitals, the smiling portrait pictures atop the bed of flowers at the ceremonial funeral rooms, the whole lot - i don't know how many more times people can see this and not feel like anything's wrong. image is everything and the pressure to perform, be perfect, be successful is too much. i'm not even half as talented as any of them and i still felt it, a sea away, in a watered down version from immigrant korean parents and an immigrant community. everyone is way too damn casual about admitting their suic-dal thoughts but not really offering any real solutions and it's just so common. i've heard far too many interviews from kor celebrities who had scandals (and when i say scandals i mean in the asian sense again, dating, secret marriages, divorces or drugs or whatever shit that would barely even qualify as a line in the news in the west most of the time and not more serious crimes) who admitted years after the fact that they were considering suic-de because of the public reaction. or more mundane shit like 'i felt suicidal in school because of academic pressure' stuff i've heard a million times from korean friends, classmates. a lot of it gets dismissed as 'puberty' or 'everyone feels that way'. and again i ask why it's so normalized.

then even those celebrities that have died from suic-de are treated like virtual boogeymen afterwards, their names never mentioned even in places where it should be. the eggshells, the sidestepping because it could be considered 'sensitive' and thus they're erased because the only context their lives can be in is in position to their suic-des. other people who knew them, friends, acquaintances, coworkers they had - past the initial condolence messages, it's like they never existed because everyone is scared of controversy from saying the wrong thing, or not being serious enough, or whatever the hell people want to nitpick that week. people have literally been criticized before for being too sad or not being sad enough when a death from a suic-de has happened so i'm not surprised this was the end result, that literally no one talks about the deceased now outside of a very select few. if they are talked about, it's more so alluded to in an extremely vague manner usually not mentioning them by name, and they rarely, if ever say the actual word suic-de. they usually say that it was an "안타까운 사건" ('an unfortunate incident') even in official news reports, including of LSK's death, and it just bothers me that it's this taboo, everything from making stupid decisions and stupid mistakes (bullying, drugs, cheating, whatever the fuck) or just plain having mental illness, to ending their lives because of it, to having their friends and family not speak about them publicly because it's 'shameful' and they'll get judged.

i don't know what the point is, just that i'm really increasingly frustrated with the state of things. the police shouldn't have pushed him to the brink. this entire situation straight up should not have happened at all.