#which is the tag ppl go thru more i feel

[zend-pixie]

oh ayo????

[om0000]

is this the plot of the watchdogs paradox

[complicit-rot]

i haven't been this social & talkative in Years someone drag me out back

[dandyshucks]

starting to think maybe i should turn rbs off on that post actually bc im having heart palpitations now fdsjgjkl why is this happening to meeee

[djevelbl]

I need to stop reblogging. mostly bc every time I go looking for a particular post I made i cAN'T FUCKING FIND IT .

[whomturgled]

yrkeby4ur8

[cuthechicane]

uhhhhhh

[the-acid-pear]

Going thru the virgin "i must hide my identity" superhero to the chad "yes i am iron man" pipeline except i just don't fear admitting I'm a self shipper anymore

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙coz i cant sleep in hotel rooms | CL16˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x singer y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship, relationship on the rocks

warnings: mentions of substances, a sad one sorryy tehe

summary: in which break up rumours circulate during a rough patch in their relationship

a/n: hii i feel like i could do a part 2 to this coz i cant leave my y/n like this

song

fc: holly humberstone

my masterlist

part 2!!!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, arthur_leclerc, and 50,219 others

yourusername solitude 🧘‍♀️

view all 7,183 comments

user1 IS THAT SONG LYRICS?

user2 is everything ok at home y/n lol

arthur_leclerc ❤️

liked by yourusername

user3 where is charles 😭

lilymhe missing your pretty face

yourusername miss you so so much

user4 mom where's dad

twitter ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user5, user2, and 9,938 others

ynupdates following an instagram post and tweet from y/n's own accounts along with no sightings together for 2 weeks, it's rumoured that y/n and boyfriend of 2 years f1 driver charles leclerc have split. sources close to the couple speculate it is due to their conflicting schedules which has put a strain on the relationship. we are sending our y/n/n all the love in the world right now ❤️‍🩹

view all 4,583 comments

user8 there's no way

user9 well at least the album is going to slap..

user10 I AM A CHILD OF DIVORCE

user11 i wont believe it until it's confirmed. it is so disrespectful to speculate on ppls private lives like this

user12 i feel like if he really loved her then conflicting schedules wouldnt matter 😕

user13 hit me right in the parasocial relationship

user14 everybodys up and left & i can barely catch my breath 😭😭

user15 this city's fine but im eternally unsatisfied 😭😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbff, and 42,839 others

yourusername a couple more tequilas n i'll tell u how im feelin

tagged: yourbff, lilymhe

view all 5,384 comments

lilymhe love having fun with u

yourusername ty for cheering me up🥹

user16 the overkill lyric im not crying u are

arthur_leclerc dont think u need any more tequila

lilymhe let my girl live!

yourusername leclerc men love telling me what to do !

user17 IS THAT SHADE

yourbff i love u my girl foreverrr ♾️

yourusername i love u more my dearest 💗

twitter ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 698,383 others

charles_leclerc ☔️

tagged: arthur_leclerc

view all 8,945 comments

pierregasly where have u been that it's raining

charles_leclerc well london of course

user20 LONDON?? visiting y/n??

arthur_leclerc very cool very aesthetic

charles_leclerc well of course this is my instagram isnt it

user21 good luck in the next race charles ❤️❤️

user22 where's y/n

user23 blink twice if u need help

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, lilymhe, landonorris, and 4,385 others

yourbff is everything ok?

yourusername jus going thru something 🤔

yourbff i noticed

lilymhe u will be ok

yourusername i will but what about us

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, billieeilish, and 76,385 others

yourusername my song ‘ghost me’ is available to stream now on all platforms. i hope u like it ❤️

view all 6,183 comments

lilymhe i would never ghost u 👻

liked by yourusername

yourbff this 1 hurt i cant lie

landonorris beautiful as ever

user24 lando shooting his shot

pierregasly you are so talented y/n 🤍

user25 if u try to ghost me & quit being in my life dont u dare 😭😭

user26 kinda thought that i could handle the distance 😭😭

user27 if this isnt referencing her & charles living in different countries then idk

charles_leclerc ❤️

comment deleted by charles_leclerc

user28 did anyone else see that

messages ->

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by user18, charles_leclerc, and 3,102 others

ynupdates y/n spotted at the airport in the early hours of the morning!

tagged: yourusername

view all 895 comments

user29 omg do u think she could be travelling to monaco for the gp this weekend??

ynupdates 🤞🤞

user30 CHARLES LIKED????

user31 charles liking this oh she is definitely going to monaco to see him

user32 this gives me hope😭

user33 my parents are still together my parents are still together my parents are still together

user34 did anyone talk to her??

ynupdates apparently she was in a rush & had a covid mask covering most of her face

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, and 35,538 others

yourusername ✈️ ...

tagged: lilymhe, yourbff

view all 2,471 comments

yourbff im so giddy

yourusername u love being dragged around the world by me

yourbff so fr i do

lilymhe my best girls in the world!!

yourusername i am so glad to have met u

user35 i love their friendship

user36 y/n are you in monaco for the gp🥹

user37 she would never miss charles' home race imo

user38 ur glowing y/n 🫶

f1wagupdates

liked by user12, user32, and 5,933 others

f1wagupdates ferrari driver charles leclerc & long term musician girlfriend y/n y/l/n seen outside a restaurant tonight arguing. their relationship has been rumoured to be on the rocks recently – is this the end for them? source says they couldn't hear the entire conversation but heard snippets, click the link in our bio for all information.

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc

view all 1,843 comments

user39 this is so disrespectful

oliviarodrigo give them some privacy jesus christ

user40 omg hi olivia

user41 y/n was overheard saying she cant do it anymore 😭😭

user42 my heart is breaking for y/n omg poor girl has always said in interviews that she didn't even want to date long distance but charles made her fall for him 😭😭

user43 omg dont remind me i feel so sick :((

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1updates

liked by user32, user21, and 5,495 others

f1updates ferrari driver charles leclerc has crashed during the monaco grand prix today and has been rushed to seek medical attention. unfortunately no updates at this time.

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 2,953 comments

user48 WHAT OH MY GOD

user49 omg sending my thoughts & prayers :((

user50 😮 i wonder if y/n is with him

user51 it's not about her rn..

user52 poor charles he was racing so well too😭

user53 omg it looked soo terrifying

messages ->

instagram ->

f1wagupdates

liked by user16, user38, and 2,584 others

f1wagupdates y/n y/l/n seen fleeing paparazzi following (ex?) boyfriend charles leclerc's crash in the monaco grand prix. is this the final nail in the coffin for this relationship?

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

comments have been limited on this post

THE END ❤️

[croucify]

✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader

002 ✶ Admire Me

stargirl masterfile – next – previous

SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe

liked by devonleecarlson, kalynnkoury, and others

ynln new vid is up ft funny ppl

view comments

user001 SLUSHYNOOBZ AND Y/N WTF!!!!!

user637 where did u get this sweater omds

↳ ynln theres no tag and its not minee

↳ user417 IS IT HAMZAHS

user890 HAMZAH SWEATER

user145 awww carl and fish

user791 HAVE U GUYS SEEN THE VIDEO HAMZAH KEEPS LOOKING AT HERRRRR

hamzahthefantastic nice sweater i guess

↳ ynln this is what u look like rn 🤓 anw thanks for the sweater

↳ user369 DOES THIS CONFIRM IT???!!!?!

becoming a slushynoob for a day

44k views • 5 hours ago

uploaded by ynln

"hey you guys, does this place look familiar to you?" you tried to ask with the straight face, looking straight into the camera, trying to ignore the two boys that stood right beside it.

but right before you say your next sentence, you burst into laughter. "oh my fucking god—it's like that she sent me her location trend on tiktok!" you cover your mouth as you laugh even more.

"what does that even mean?" martin asks with a confused face and hamzah just shrugs at him, still off screen.

"okay, today i am at the slushynoob hospital because..." you look up at them and hamzah mutters the word virus multiple times for you to say. "i got the virus on me and only two wonderful doctors can help me, mind joining me here?" you signal for them to sit by the couch now and martin jumps on it, crashing the side of his body on his yellow couch.

hamzah sighs but then he notices you were smiling at him, inviting him to sit next to you which he obliged to.

they introduced themselves before the boys explained what they were planning on doing.

"okay! so first thing is your outfit, hamzah hand me what we've prepared for y/n today." martin crosses his legs and puts his hands out.

the curly haired boy reached to the side for the clothes they prepared. "you can choose between the martin's orange vest or this camo sweater." hamzah said in a weird "cool" tone which made martin bite his lips to stop himself from laughing.

it was clear to martin that his friend was trying to look good in front of the girl he liked. it was for sure going to be a long day.

now, you're wearing both of the clothes they put out and now in hamzah's car but instead of martin being in the passenger seat, you occupied it and he was sat at the back.

"okay so where are we going now?" you look between hamzah and martin, going a bit closer so you could include martin.

"that's a secret just film this," hamzah tells you, eyes focused on the road and suddenly he feels the camera on him.

you were smiling as you held your camera towards him, he glances and he starts to feel his breath hitch. "is he always this serious?" you joked which earned a laugh from martin and a scoff from hamzah.

you guys ended up going to a drive thru and buying almost half of the menu then going back to martin's apartment.

the next clip showed the three of you, sitting down on the floor with all the food set up on the table. hamzah was right beside you, watching you pet and play with the pets in the house. "it's starting already," martin whispered then you looked up.

the rest of the afternoon, the three of you ate the food and shared with each other as you talked about any topic you could talk about.

most of the time it was only you and martin speaking as hamzah kept on zoning out due to the fact you were sat next to him and he could smell the cologne you were wearing.

"what about you hamzah?" was the only thing that got him to snap out of it. he looked up at you, head a bit tilted in confusion. "what's a place you wanna visit?" you asked before taking some of his fries.

there were more questions and you three got to know each other more.

after the mukbang, they taught you how to play overcooked but only some clips were added to the video.

one of them being hamzah helping you play the game as his hands were on top of yours, directing your hands on what buttons to press. you felt your cheeks heat up during the game and martin was too focused on the game to realize what was happening.

after you guys bid goodbye to the end the video, you hugged them before leaving. "wait! i still have to change." you suddenly remembered, quickly taking off the vest.

as you were about to pull off the camouflage sweater, hamzah stops you. "you can keep the sweater but the vest i don't think martin would allow you to keep it," you both chuckle, handing him the vest.

he was about to speak again until your uber arrived in front of the building.

you hug the boy one last time with a smile on your face. "i'll see you soon!" you said before you entered the car.

"get home safe, okay?"

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

the way he came real close to one of laios desperate plans while sleep deprived and hangry several chapters in advance.. he really does know laios huh.

my tags got too long so here they are under the cut

Even tho he wanted to sleep he probs was still listening to everything laios has to say. Bc he is Always Listening and Observing

Interesting in the context of how laios wants someone to understand him - to see him as he is but also the ways in which hes afraid of rejection and being seen as less than human but lacking the monstrousness to retaliate and lash out without regret bc then it would be The natural order of things but hell never be a monster he can only be a human being

but i think part of the reason shuro got so mad is bc he was putting all this effort into being considerate and feeling he got none in return. i think he wanted to be seen too! But i think he overlooked how he feels safe enough to express his rawest feelings w laios

But also i think laios was the first relationship shuro did not just let fizzle out at the first sign of interpersonal difficulty. bc lbr in this manner hes a coward. Disgusted by maizuru being his fathers mistress ? Dont talk it out n continue letting her treat him like a child while ignoring her. concerned hien and him will turn out like maizuru and his father—just let the friendship drift apart w time. concerned abt how inutade views her retainership when he knows his father just sees her as an oddity—dont say shit n just stew in it 5eva

passive aggression warrior!!!

Also interesting laios is like if we can make her monstrousness more manageable maybe she can live among ppl…the projection

The part at the end where toshiros like I know his gait from the sound of the bell by heart so i 100% know its him. he was listening the whole time! like a second heartbeat. Very metaphorical for their relationship. its a challenging relationship for the both of them but they dont give it up bc they care about each other.

thats love honestly i was genuinely moved by the interplay of toshiro laios n kabrus relationship. that laios promises hell eat w kabru on his terms even tho kabru wasnt upfront abt the monster thing initially giving him a motive to return. and how shuro gave him the bell as a promise hed bring him back to the surface no matter what. And he fulfills it even when laios leaves the bell behind bc he knows him so well To the surface and live among other ppl.

bc laios whole life he felt like he couldnt understand other ppl and they couldnt understand him even tho he wanted that connection that seemed so easy to everyone else

but thru kabru and shuro we see that no one in the world understands anyone else completely- thats why they enter the story w awful first impressions. As well as like well. Thats probs how laios comes off to other ppl

shuro calls him back bc the two as his peers are like u already have connections who value you (shuro) and deep connections youve yet to make w ppl who will be important to u going forward (kabru) and theyll both challenge and change deep seated issues about themselves to keep their connection w u alive

[jnnul]

nct dream in college

a/n: my third fucking time posting this istg this is why i quit the first time tumblr let me post things in peace

word count: 2.6k

tags: idk the frattiest boys in town doing what college dudes do, just fluff, hinting at insecurity + fear for the future, and a couple mentions of ppl not following their dreams for practicality sake but what can u do tw: mentions of drinking & underage drinking, mentions of sex but no graphics

Originally posted by choi-soobin

gif creds: @choi-soobin​

finance bro w a music minor

i’m so sorry to all of the ppl who hc him as a nerdy music kid who just always thinks abt music

but that boy is a finance bro thru and thru and i will die on that hill

he’s in a frat but he’s honestly rlly shitty abt act going to the non-party frat stuff

and even the parties, he rlly only goes to bc he dj’s every single time

ppl get annoyed sometimes bc mark always tries to slip in some of his stuff into the mix but it’s honestly so good that he gets away w it

his homies make fun of him for it but he sits in the first three rows bc a) he’s fucking blind and b) he act rlly likes finance

like he enjoys the idea of finance + what he could do w it in the future

even if he doesn’t necessarily like business calc

goes to church on sundays (if he’s not hungover) and will be so respectful abt it that he convinces some of his non-christian friends to go to

mark has a good rep on campus for being an all around pretty chill dude

everyone’s also half convinced that he’s a plug

swears up and down that he doesn’t smoke but ppl have videos of him puffin like it’s his side hustle

it is

kinda sticks to his own friend group bc he’s a little shy

but when he’s drunk (when someone wrestles him out of his little dj booth to do shots w them)

he knows everyone and their mother all of a sudden

kinda cute when he’s drunk cause he’s rlly lovey

ppl kinda like like him as that cute guy in their class but he never rlly goes out of his way to pursue anyone so anyone who’s interested has to be the one who chases

isn’t clueless but is oblivious until one day you’re basically sitting on his lap during lecture and he’s like 😟🤨🧐😏

the day he gets cuffed tho literally no one can pull him apart from his girl

Originally posted by rainbowrenjun

gif creds: @rainbowrenjun​

so...this might be controversial

but i think renjun would be a international relations major, not an art major

i feel like he’s a practical guy and he likes art but not enough to pursue it as a livelihood yannowhatimean

isn’t that well connected on campus bc he keeps his friend circle very exclusive but literally everybody and their mother knows him

kinda has a reputation for being a little cliquey but he gets away w it bc he’s just genuinely a decent guy who’s on the more private side

you will never catch him drunk

like he def won’t be sober at parties but you’re never gonna see him stumbling around

the type of guy to keep an eye on a girl’s cup if she leaves it somewhere, even if no one asks him to

also volunteers on the weekends at a local shelter for ppl of different nationalities

a private guy tho. ppl rlly don’t get to know or understand him unless they’re part of his friend group

which is nearly impossible to join

just kinda cruisin’ thru life bc he’s unproblematic and just rlly wants to get a degree and dip

gets the some of the best grades out of his friends (jeno is the only one who does better and jaemin make a close second) but donghyuck insists it’s bc renjun’s major isn’t a real major

chenle threatens to send the video of donghyuck and renjun slipping on their asses and falling into the pool as renjun tried to fight donghyuck to every single person that renjun even considers seeing romantically

probably dates once a year, eventually falls out of attraction and then swears off dating

until donghyuck gets on his ass abt not having sex and then renjun’s competitive streak gets activated

during which he speed dates for like three weeks before finding someone and then trying to date them

isn’t very emotionally invested in his romantic relationships

except for one of them, and ever since they told renjun off, he was unseperable from them

renjun may or may not have a masochist streak it’s still unclear

Originally posted by poppypeachy

gif creds: @jaemtens​

a physics and education double major

he didn’t really know what he wanted to go into so he was undeclared for the longest time until he took a physics gen ed and ever since then, he’s been super into physics

only added education as his second major after he ta’d for physics 1 and for the first time, could actually see himself in that career

gets the most shit for being in a frat and simultaneously being the biggest fucking nerd but he just thinks its funny

isn’t super smart (like he’s not a genius or anything) but he works rlly hard for his grades so even tho his friends (donghyuck) make fun of him, everyone is inspired by his work ethic

until it’s the weekend

and then it’s like he’s another person altogether

he’s downing shots like there’s no tomorrow and if jeno lee attends a party by himself, then he’s leaving with at least one person

on a particularly daring occasion, he was seen leaving with three

people are convinced that jeno has a twin brother bc of how bold, lively, and undeniably charismatic he gets when he lets go of his inhibitions

jeno just smiles a sweet smile and redirects the conversation

a very much go with a flow type of guy

he’s down for pretty much anything as long as he makes it home in time to study for the next day

spontaneous camping trip? sure. smoke a blunt? sure. join a threesome w one of his best friends and his girlfriend? sure.

he just didn’t take a lot of things too seriously (besides his academics and whether or not his dick got wet)

and that was why a lot of ppl liked him

he was also a rlly easy person to talk to

everyone knew that the first half of his office hours were for actual physics and stuff and the second half was just for chilling w him

which is how he met his s/o, actually

they used to come for office hours every single time jeno held them and would stay the whole time; it was only two weeks later when jeno accidentally saw their test scores (straight 90s without the curve) that he realized that maybe, he was in the clear to make a move

after the semester is over ofc

Originally posted by donghyuckkies

gif creds: @donghyuckkies​

a poli sci major with a minor (or as he likes to call it, a concentration) in criminal justice

will not let you forget that he’s in a frat

no one has the heart to tell him that he almost got kicked out of the frat 3 times but they keep him around bc he’s just a good guy overall

plus he brings the most girls to parties so it’s rlly not all that bad

the dude who’s surprisingly quiet and intellectual, but only when you catch him on his own

when he’s with his friends, he acts completely differently, even if he turns around and mouths “i’m sorry” while no one is looking

probably runs a club like devil’s advocate club but it’s just a silly club that uses university money to buy snacks, chill, and talk about controversial opinions

lowkey the guy to go to if you need something or need something done because the man knows everyone

and everyone knows him

will make fun of you for studying, and might even steal your textbook, but sends you a quizlet with last year’s answers bc that’s just the type of person he is

does not study. will not study. would rather listen to music w mark or party w jeno.

still has pretty decent grades bc he’s charming and persuasive and what is political science besides the art of professional bullshitting

once you get close to him, he becomes one of the best ppl for advice

will not let you go after the sneaky link turned situationship

mostly bc he knows exactly what said situationship is rlly up to behind the scenes (i’m telling you, the fbi wishes that had him; he knows everyone’s business)

will die before he tells anyone but probs runs one of those confession pages

partly how he gets all of his info from

thinks it’ll ruin his street cred if he tells ppl he’s secretly playing cupid and that’s why he’s always messing w seemingly random combos of ppl

until one day, a confession comes in for him

def one of those boys who ‘reforms’ after he meets his s/o but is a loving menace nonetheless

Originally posted by jae-min

gif creds: @jae-min​ 

microbiology major on the pre-med track with a minor in visual art

has tried dropping the pre-med track at least 4 times but absolutely will not bc he gets too much fomo

also wants a job. with guaranteed 401k compensation and benefits. so.

is one of the less toxic pre-med kids but only because he’s so close to dropping out that he just can’t seem to take or give a shit anymore

lives in a perpetual state of caffeine high bc he will be damned if jeno gets better grades than him

lowkey, i feel like he’s one of those guys who only goes to parties to find ppl to fuck

like he doesn’t rlly like to drink or smoke (although he will take the occasional eddie)

but mans is stressed from the constant personality clash (within himself) so he literally jackhammers his stress away

too crude? sorry.

was once upon a time in every single club known to mankind

dropped out of almost all of them when he made the friends he wanted to make

somehow always ends up having to pay when everyone goes out

doesn’t tell anyone that he always loses on purpose (unless it’s to chenle) bc he knows that college is tough and not everyone has the same financial freedom as he does

exclusively studies at the school library bc he doesn’t rlly spend time w his friends outside of his main friend group unless its while he’s studying or at a party

although he’s not rlly studying bc he probably already got the notes and answers from the people who took the class a semester earlier than him

but again, he’s got a competitive streak about his grades so studies anyway

which is where he meets his s/o bc they’re always sitting in the same spot, looking stressed as fuck as they study

one time, jaemin and the other person are the only two ppl left studying post 3 am during hell week and he offers to buy them coffee

studies w his lovely s/o from then onwards and offers to bite donghyuck whenever he tries to disturb them <3

Originally posted by istjun

gif creds: @istjun​

marketing major i’m so sorry

he’s just such a finance bro + business major but he hates finance so he goes into marketing instead

school is a fucking joke to him

he’ll try hard enough to get by in his classes (and bc just being around poor stressed out jisung gives him motivation to study) but no more and no less than that

the first one to call it quits when they’re all studying together but renjun practically tapes him to a chair

also surprisingly intuitive and good at marketing so even if he barely tries, professors love him and somehow make him pass anyway

knows every international kid on campus bc he gets what it’s like and makes an effort to make them feel more at home

gets invited to every party that the international kids throw and never looks at a frat ever again

they go so fucking hard at those parties that chenle, THE business major, gets tired and has to turn in pre-2 am to avoid alcohol poisoning

doesn’t get home until 7 pm the next day bc a) he’s hungover and b) they love him so much and force him to stay so he just bums at their place until he’s good to go

will make fun of you and your bad decisions (even if they aren’t that bad) but will protect you at every turn if anyone else tries to say smth

will fucking go to bat for ppl he doesn’t even know that well bc chenle hates mean ppl

is on the intramural basketball team w a couple other guys

is very popular on the team bc he always knows the best restaurants and has been known to pay when he knows someone’s a tight spot

is very lowkey abt his wealth bc ppl like to take advantage of it so the ppl he does choose to help out are also very lowkey abt it

the type of dude to spot you like $50 and won’t ask you abt it

but ppl always pay him back whenever they can bc they know he’s helping a lot of ppl in rough situations, even if he’s very hush hush abt it

is the reason why jisung joins a frat and singlehandedly boosts his rizz by a decameter

probably has a childhood sweetheart that lives at home so he doesn’t partake in the romance scene on campus at all

is in love with them and will boast abt being taken

Originally posted by fool4nct

gif creds: @fool4nct​

a dance major

impractical? maybe. but the world’s going to shit anyway so might as well do what you want, right?

that’s what chenle says to jisung the day that he’s applying to his top school

is literally the student that the school begs to have join

offered every single scholarship under the sun to have him join bc such raw talent is rare nowadays and he’s just stuck like 😟😟😟

bc he had no idea that he would get in, much less have them like him so much

but for all his talent, he’s always fucking stressed abt something

sometimes it’ll be about a choreo and other times it’ll be abt the fact that he’s almost 98% sure he won’t get a job after college but his friends always get him out of his head

has abt 6 friends on campus (total) and it’s bc of chenle

so after freshman year, he decides to get out of his shell a little bit

and jisung park is the MAN to be around when he does

he’s charismatic, tall, an amazing performer, and really, just such a suave guy that straight men kinda have that weird jealousy where he’s so cool ppl wanna be friends w him and also hate him

still gets insecure abt his skills or his future but has ppl around him who love him and help him out of it every time

i’m ngl i think that he singlehandedly makes the dance team tryout numbers go from 12 - 15 ppl to 50 - 60 ppl

dance is his entire life and when he’s not rizzing up ppl (or honestly, getting rizzed up by them; he can’t flirt for shit when he rlly wants to) he’s on the dance floor

donghyuck has had to physically rip him off the floor to get dinner after a particularly rough night

even his fave dance teacher revoked his after class dance room privileges bc ppl got worried abt how much time he spent in there

decides to take a break when he realizes just how empty his days are w/o dance

gets into music production and has worked w mark more than once under pseudonyms

won’t say anything but listens to what everyone says abt the song when mark plays it at a party

still working on himself so a s/o isn’t rlly in the picture but ppl are not mad abt it bc he’s a good time with or w/o commitment

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

feeling rly unsafe 2day, but it's specifically bc of being a trans guy, i keep seeing stuff from cis women abt how men r always the worst and how men hav a duty 2 make their lives revolve around women or else we're sexist, how apparently men need 2 all b willing 2 lay down their lives 4 any woman or else we're just as bad as the creeps who make ppl feel unsafe 2 go out at night and yes i said people not just women but they only want 2 acknowledge it when it's a cis woman that's the victim

i did not fucking sign up for this

i did not fucking sign up 2 sacrifice my life either literally or thru dedicating my life only 2 others just because the pronoun "he" fits me better than the pronoun "she"

i should not hav 2 worry that im an inherently bad person because of being a gay trans man

i should not hav 2 worry abt being perceived as a threat bc of being a queer man of colour

i've honestly started to hav thoughts abt de-transitioning not bc being a guy in the way i am doesn't fit me but rather out of fear of the scrutiny every action of mine will b placed under

i was sexually abused as a child but i guess that doesn't matter anymore because im a man now, boys don't cry they punch ig, apparently since im a man now it means im destined 2 become that which hurt me

all i want is to be a man, in a nonbinary way yes but still a man (demi-guy), i want to love men who love me back, i want to live a quiet life surrounded by love and happiness, i want to live a gentle life

but no.... because im a man now then apparently it must make me predatory in some way

i can't de-transition... i know i wouldn't survive emotionally... so i stick with it, with allowing myself to be a demi-guy.... but it hurts knowing that me being free is perceived as dangerous, that im seen as inherently a threat to women

edit: so a terf started clowning this post, just 2 make this shit clear, this is not a fucking debate blog this is a me posting abt my feelings blog, i would've thought the url "my-traumacore-sideblog" would've made that clear

also no racism and sexism is not the same thing

yes women face oppression at the hands of men and should be allowed to talk about it but men also face oppression at the hands of women and should be allowed to talk abt it, 4 men who r not in a minority group this is usually in terms of legal stuff (how r*pe is legally categorised, custody disputes ect) but this is even more of an issue and more every day when it comes to men in marginalised communities, yk like me, yk like what i was venting abt in my fucking post i should b allowed 2 talk abt my own oppression 2 and acting like me venting abt my own oppression in a post tagged as a vent post on my vent blog makes me the same as my white oppressors is not only terf shit but also racist and it shows a lack of political literacy, a woman has just as much capacity 4 violence as a man but a queer man of colour is seen as inherently violent and a white woman is inherently seen as always being a victim but ur ok w/ these white women using that power of perceived vulnerability 2 call 4 violence against queer men and men of colour and especially queer men of colour just say u want cis women klansmen and leave im not backing down from talking abt my own oppression bc of white woman tears

anyways person who clowed is now blocked so don't bother trying 2 respond 2 my edit

[apatheticlexicographer]

Where Evil Nests

Chapter 3: Bottled Up

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3

HELLOOOOO. HELLO. HI. IT’S BEEN OVER 2 MONTHS BUT THIS STILL EXISTS AND I STILL WANT TO FINISH IT EVENTUALLY 💀💀

ppl who asked to be tagged in updates, lmk if u want to be added or removed from the list: @gay-stranger-things​ @evil-gay-person​ @wontbyers​

talking under the cut...

i decided to finally sit down and draw the next chapter with zero concrete ideas and went thru brainstorming > sketching > lining > cleaning > shading in one sitting. my hand hurty :[[[

just need to do the joyce POV introductory chapter and then i can finally move on to the actual body of the comic. ha. ha. ha. (((:

i genuinely had a lot of fun drawing this, which is very unusual for me bc usually drawing is just the beloathed process i need to go thru to vent the pictures in my brain lol. other than will’s anatomy in the last page (WHAT happened there bbg) i’m actually??? very happy??? with how this all looks??? i must have brain damage or smth bc i never feel happy with my own art

OH YEAH!!! i finally processed the fact that this comic is set in the 70s, so i took the liberty of looking up 70s kids clothes for jon and will’s fits in the last slide lmaoooo. expect more campy AF 70s collars and bellbottoms bc they’re fun to draw AND period accurate

[chaosclover1999]

so general political fandom opinion that is also kinda emotionally charged 4 me that i don't think a lot of ppl will agree w me on:

while it's generally understood that "race-bending" a character can b politically insensitive in certain contexts, e.g. making the only character in a show that's a racial minority white, or making a character POC 4 clout ect

i feel like we as adults need 2 acknowledge that the same can b said of gender-bending characters

[important: there is a difference between gender-bending a character vs headcanon-ing them as trans, trans hcs r not what this is abt]

there's a very concerning trend i've noticed lately, where ppl will take a fandom ship that's a mlm ship and gender-bend it into a wlw ship, or even just make art of the mlm ship but in the description say "lesbians" or "yuri" and omg don't get me started on the ppl i c calling mlm ships "yuri yaoi" 2 indicate a non-toxic mlm "yaoi" ship

u guys need 2 come off of the gender essentialism kool aid, i rly need u 2 get this thru ur thick fucking skulls

being a man is morally neutral

being a woman is morally neutral

being a man does not make some1 inherently bad or abusive

being a woman does not make some1 inherently better or remove any toxic traits

it's exactly that kind of mentality, the idea that being a man is inherently wrong or evil or perverse in some way, that kept me and many other transmascs in the closet 4 way longer than we would've been otherwise, that leaves us fearing ourselves, what lies beneath the facade of false womanhood, that leaves us unequipped 2 deal w the concept of loving ourselves and accepting ourselves completely

trans men ARE men and not just when you want to malgender them

transmascs ARE masc and not just when you want 2 use our masculinity against us

transmascs who see ourselves as "man-adjacent" are still hurt when u say this shit abt us and abt men even if they r men in a way that's different from us

also, gay men (and probably also bi and other groups of men who love men but i can't speak 2 that personally) , who are often accessorised by straight women (c "gay best friend") often hav 2 deal w being seen as an accessory 2 straight women and being expected 2 make our entire existence revolve around straight women while at the same time our love is seen as inherently toxic, the "logic" usually goes smth like "well men r inherently abusive and there's 2 men so that must mean they r just abusing each other in a circle right?" which obviously isn't how that works bc not all men r abusive bc abusive behaviour is not smth inherent 2 being a man

im so sick of wanting 2 look at an mlm ship 2 try 2 remind myself that it's okay that im like this and that i am the way i am only 2 c the tag flooded w gender-bend fanart or ppl calling these gay men "lesbians" 2 indicate that they r older than 25 or 2 indicate that they think the ship isn't toxic or worse, they say that the original ship is toxic, don't explain y other than "man inherently abusive" and then make a gender-bend of the ship and act like it's them "fixing" it

i am not inherently abusive 4 being a gay guy

i am not inherently abusive 4 being transmasc and "man-adjacent" as i would put it

i also am noticing ppl putting words like "lesbaians" or "yuri" in the description when they make more chaste mlm ship fanart like of cuddling or hand holding which like.... ew.... way 2 piss off 2 communities at once ig

i wasn't 2 mad abt the gender-bends at 1st but then i started 2 notice a pattern and i had 2 say smth

istg if i c 1 more person make gender-bend fanart of an mlm ship w the description being "fixed it" or another fucking piece of fanart that is of 2 men being cuddly and chaste and neither of these men identity as also being women and the description is "lesbaians" or "yuri" i am going 2 fucking scream

tumblr users stop taking popular mlm ships and then flooding the tags 4 them w wlw gender-bend fanart versions of those ships at the very least make ur own tag 4 it like idk "fem![character]xfem![character]" or "fem![ship name]" it's not ok when u invade our mlm ship tags 2 tell us u think our love is toxic or that it would b better if we were women, ur literally just invading our online spaces where we go 2 feel safe 2 tell us u don't like us, and 4 some of us, 2 tell us that u wish we never transitioned

just 2 b clear im not talking abt cases here where the characters in question r nonbinary in a way that means that they see themselves as both men and women and so ppl call it "yuri yaoi" bc the characters r both men and women at the same time, that's a whole different thing of ppl just having some cool stuff going on w their gender and not at all what this post is abt, it's also smth tho that i hav not seen nearly as much as what this post is abt and also i don't hav any experience w being nonbinary in that way so im gonna leave that topic 4 some1 who has a better understanding of that shit than me

[altraviolet]

so im neck deep in reading echo garden - hi, hope ur doing well, holy hell what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? i originally wanted to ask you something like; 'what's your inspiration for your worldbuilding, what ideas did you come up with, pull/build from etc'

..but instead i wanna try and ask you a different question/for advice, if that's okay? (your writing went and gave me a mild crisis, congrats you've reached peak 'make-ppl-feel-things-thru-writing' skillz. :}) how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc,

but i'm just now breaking free of the thought that i have to.. produce something big and unique and grandiose? (for others? it's a weird attention-y 'ey look what i made' thing.) like, honestly, i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly.

I don't know.. how to worldbuild/craft (whatever term) something that feels like mine? I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough. like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

I'm sitting here in a really weird, silly, downright stupid at this point, circular loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I think not understanding what worldbuilding is, or how it works or even how having ideas works, might be why I've screwed myself here? And the internet's weird.. impossible standard for idea-having.

I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. (is maybe the thought that I ought to grow them in the first place one of the reasons I'm having trouble? and it's.. okay to not? that just because they're tiny, or simple, or mundane, doesn't mean they're worth less than 'bigger & better' chunks of ideas/worldbuilding?)

Hi! I'm doing okay, thanks. Vacation could be structured more to my liking, but family & obligation something something.

Anyway. Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying Echo Garden. Especially the worldbuilding, which is one of my favorite things to do. It seems like you're feeling a lot of mixed and heavy things about it. I don't know if I'm any authority to help you with that, but I'll give it a shot. Let's go through what you've sent me, albeit out of order. I'mma put this behind a cut, because it got very long.

>what is this beautiful piece of writing and worldbuilding omg? Thank you! I appreciate that. Here I would like to stress that this writing has taken me almost 4 years and hundreds and hundreds of hours, and hundreds of thousands of words to accomplish. If you think it is beautiful, I am happy to hear that! I will be honest: I am very proud of what I've done. But what I'm stressing here is that it was not effortless. It is beautiful, but it has taken a lot of work.

>i fell in love with your worldbuilding but feel.. envious? like, 'oh, damn, i wish i was this good.' which, yeah, I KNOW is silly. No, that's not silly. That's legit. Envy or jealousy are totally normal things to feel in any given situation. If the situations were reversed, I'd feel the same way. When I see people who have things or skills I wish I had, I feel it. This might be a good time to drop a little story about when I first thought about writing TF fic. Please do me a favor and go read this ask, you can skip down to the bold words that say NOTE THE WARNINGS AND TAGS BEFORE READING. Here I talk about how I didn't write for a year because I read a fic so good I knew I could never be that good.

tl;dr and/or moral: it's ok and natural to feel envious. Don't let it stop you from writing, though. If I had let TGWP stop me from writing, you'd never have Echo Garden. That'd be a shame, I think. I'm glad I decided to try writing, even though I knew I couldn't do something as good as what I admired. I did something else.

>how do you even 'do' worldbuilding? because i'm doubting myself, reading your story lol. i know the whole.. 'we get inspiration from literally everything around us', 'there's no such thing as a truly original idea' etc, I'll come back to your first question eventually, but I wanna address the latter statements: "We get inspiration from everything around us," yes, this is true. Being a sponge, being observant of the world, will help you build a 'library' of ideas. Artists have a term for this that escapes me at the moment, but the idea is, if an artist draws 1000 trees, and within those, 50 different kinds of trees, they now have an excellent mental tree 'library' to reference when they need to draw a tree. And since it's super easy to find irl references of trees, one might ask, what's the use of the mental library? It gives the artist the basics and a ton of variations on The Concept of a Tree. In a similar way, observing the world, reading stories, listening to music, absorbing creative works, etc will also add to your mental library. You can call on these things when worldbuilding later. Quick example: if you know the ins and outs of a hospital, because you're a nurse, you'll have a fantastic basis for a realistically operating sci fi hospital on another world. Take a concept relating to the hospital, as we know it on Earth, and change it. What if patients can regrow internal organs but not limbs? See what that does to the organization of the hospital. The staff, the pharmacy, the stock, the medical supplies. What changes? Organ donors aren't needed anymore. Would this mean an actual reduction in the species's understanding of how those organs work? An irl nurse won't have to do a ton of research to get the basics which are drawn upon to answer those questions.

This line of questioning took me to something I want to expand upon later, but for now: What kind of cultural issues could arise from this species's healing ability? Is someone who was forced to grow a new liver due to an accident "less than" someone who has their original liver? Hold onto the fact that we just went from hospital -> biology -> culture. "There's no such thing as a truly original idea," I disagree with this statement, though I know it is a very, very popular one. I think it is true that plots and archetypes are commonly used over and over again. I think there are still original ideas out there, though. I pride myself on it, to be honest. Some of the worldbuilding you like so much comes from ideas that I've not seen in either TF canon or fanon. They tend to be smaller details that feed into bigger systems, once you take them to their logical endpoints. More on that later.

>I keep comparing to others, and keep feeling like whatever bits and pieces come to me isn't good enough. Isn't unique/cool/giant/'oh-so-new-&-different' enough.

All I can say here is that comparison is the thief of joy. If we're talking strictly fanfic, it shouldn't be this stressful on you. People love tropes for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them. Echo Garden itself has a few. "Enemies to lovers" never quite felt like the correct term, but it is recognizable and there are tons of fans of it. Remember the thing about me not writing for a year cuz I thought I wasn't good enough. Don't do that. Comparison is the thief of joy! >like I have to somehow reach that impossible 'true original idea', without using any inspiration at all (otherwise it's not 'mine') - when everything's already been thought of before by countless people.

Again, I do think there are truly original ideas still out there. You have a unique view of the world. Writing is one way to share it. All your experiences, your education, your hardships and your victories shape who you are. No one else will be looking out the same eyeballs. With practice, you can find ideas. I'll explain how I do it. Maybe that will help you, too. Though you do have, by your own words, little pieces: I have tiny pieces, the barest little foundations, I just don't know how to grow them into.. something, anything. Little pieces are a good place to start. And if they stay little, that's fine. Having a ton of little pieces layered on top of each other is what contributes richness to your world.

My goal with all the above was to address the emotional aspect of your ask. I haven't gone through everything, but I'd like to get to your core question. I am going to answer it literally, in a way that might not help you, then try to break it down into something that might be helpful.

how do you even 'do' worldbuilding?

I think. All the time. I am one of those people who has a laser focus and is able to make connections between unrelated ideas. I am always, always thinking. It's not really daydreaming. It's thinking about a single idea and then taking it for a ride down a million "what if?" paths. Put it this way: I think watching astronomy lectures is fun and I loathe parties. Fun for me is world building: building literal worlds. Playing with ideas. So how do I 'do' worldbuilding? Mostly in my head. Once I get some ideas that make sense, I write them down so I don't forget them. If I'm lucky, I'm at home at my computer and can type them fast. If I'm not, I'm at work, and I scribble them on pieces of paper. It can be anything, from a huge plot point to a teeny tiny detail.

How do I think? If I'm world building from nothing (as opposed to solving a problem or building on top of previously thought of stuff), I just... think of things that fascinate me. For Transformers, that's their biology and how it links to culture. It's their alienness. The possible geology of their world. I freaking love just thinking about that!

Once you have a fascinating idea, you push it. What does that mean? Do you recall, in the nurse/hospital example above, I noted that, while we started with 'hospital setting,' it moved to how that healing factor could be interpreted in the culture of that species? That was what I mean: taking the idea of 'alien hospital' to 'what does this mean about their biology?' to 'what does this mean about their culture?' And to be honest, this is how I do a lot of world building. Culture comes from biology and geology. This is a personal theory I have, I'm sure anthropologists have a better definition of culture. But that's the one I use for worldbuilding. What is the consequence of your fascinating idea? That is the key for me. That is how I worldbuild.

If I'm worldbuilding on top of previous stuff, it's sometimes a bit harder or easier, depending on how the previous stuff narrows your possibilities. But in that case, I usually try to be as logical as possible. Here's an example for Echo Garden:

canon facts: the Lost Light has a fuel furnace and an engine room and a bridge

me: hmm, okay, the LL has utilities and facilities, kind of like a small town. someone has to tend to those things. I'm sure some mechs have specialized knowledge that makes them a better fit for maintaining/upkeeping certain things than others. We saw Blaster on the bridge acting as a communications officer of sorts. Hmm, he's probably the best bet for keeping comm-related stuff clean and running. Hmm, that fuel furnace... I bet it's really hot in there, lol. I bet it's complicated in there. They probably have to color code the pathways to the different furnaces. I bet most mechs wouldn't like being in there because it's so hot. I wonder who'd get stuck with that chore. Well... Rodimus is fireproof, basically, and Trailbreaker could protect himself with his shield. So they can do that chore.

It feels rambly when I write it out. I suppose it could be. I do this very quickly in my mind, though. I pull from everything I know: canon, fanon, things I know from my own life experiences. This 'pulling' happens all at the same time. So, going back to that 'mental library,' as you can see, that's a powerful thing for me to have for my worldbuilding method.

Okay okay, so how can I make all that into something actionable by you? Good question. I suppose I will answer it with more questions!

Precisely define what it is you want to worldbuild. Is it cultural (language, food, clothing, music, etc)? Is it biological (bodies, adaptations, appearance, etc)? Is it environmental (geology of the world, or the inside of a space ship)? What exactly do you want to accomplish?

Once you have selected your Topic, think about all the things related to that Topic. What are the usual characteristics of Topic? Which of those characteristics can you change to fit your world? Example: food in TF. Food is often energon or engex. Food in real life is a huge part of culture. If your goal is to showcase a character making a special dish, maybe pick an irl dish you like, and see how its preparation would change if it was made out of a pretty, glowy energon-y substance instead of whatever it's made of on Earth.

If you haven't worldbuilt to your satisfaction, try another avenue. What else about Topic can you think of? What are your personal experiences regarding Topic? Maybe go do some research on Topic- you might find a neat little tidbit to incorporate into your writing.

Once you've worldbuilt Topic to your satisfaction, link it to the rest of your world! What does Topic existing do to your environment? To your characters? It's okay if Topic isn't a huge deal. That's totally fine! It's lovely to just have little worldbuilding details hanging around in the background. Remember- layering lots of tiny details really helps make a world feel rich and lived in. In the event that Topic is a big deal, repeat step 2 to discover how it affects your world.

Once Topic is happily integrated into your world, repeat the process! Take breaks, listen to music. Zone out. See if your brain can make some weird connections while you're not even really thinking about it. Be open to something that sounds kinda nuts at first. Maybe there's a way to pull it off! Or maybe not.

Side note: if you think of a really cool idea but it doesn't fit into the story you're writing right now, stick it in a file for later. Mmm, delicious ideas file, ready to be cannibalized for your next story.

So... yeah! That's how I worldbuild. Thinking a LOT and connecting ideas together and then pushing them to logical extremes/conclusions.

If you have any specific questions about anything I've written, feel free to ask. I don't think my method will work for everyone, but hopefully you can put your own spin on it and find a method that works for you.

Best of luck and happy worldbuilding :)