#which is the job of a cardiologist

[mental-illness-bingo]

Actually, a cardiologist is literally the most commonly suggested first step because even when you start at a neurologist, they will most of the time tell you "there is nothing I can do until you see a cardiologist because checking for heart problems is the first priority". That's because if there *is* a heart problem, it is likely to be life threatening if left untreated.

Until/unless we find a way to directly test for POTS (Tilt Table is not a direct test, it's exacerbating symptoms and taking their best guess based on self reported subjective information in combination with data), we will need to do it by ruling out the more common causes of these symptoms, which are heart conditions. Such is the way of "zebra" diagnoses - they gotta check if it's a horse first.

Also, most POTS medications are heart medications, and many neurologists aren't comfortable prescribing them.

There are many things a cardiologist can do for someone seeking a POTS diagnosis and sometimes they play a vital role in continued treatment. Neurologists do not always have IV fluids on deck, whilst cardiology clinics are common places to access walk-in IV saline.

Just because something isn't a heart condition, doesn't really mean anything when the symptoms are related to the heart. If it affects your heart in any significant way (especially a disorder where the major identifying symptoms are heart related), you will probably need input from a cardiologist.

If you didn't in your journey, that's good for you, but it's also extremely uncommon. It's kind of dangerous misinfo to say that a cardiologist cannot help someone with POTS, and in many cases, a post like this can cause someone to not get treatment for *months* if not a year because specialists usually take about half that time to get into, and if they go to a neurologist first just to get the very common response of "we need to check your heart first", you are asking them to do that 3 times (first to go to the neurologist you say is the "right" doctor, then to get to the cardiologist, then to get back to the neurologist). That kind of time without knowing for sure what's wrong, and without any kind of treatment may land someone in the ER, all because they read a post and thought you knew what you were talking about. Had they not seen said misinformation, they may have a diagnosis months or even a year or more before that.

In fact, I am not diagnosed with POTS yet at this very moment because I was told they are unable to diagnose POTS until they test for and get normal results on various heart tests that need to be performed and/or interpreted by cardiologists. Idk if diagnostic requirements are different where you live, but what I heard is very common in the US.

None of this is me saying a neurologist isn't an extremely important part of the journey for many if not most POTSies. They are essential to many people's treatment. However, in most cases, one of the first steps if not the very first one is heart testing.

Please please do not give medical advice based on surface information without taking into account the other pieces.

In the POTS tag and people are suggesting that their main doctor be a cardiologist?? You guys do know dysautonomia is a neurological condition right? Like yeah your heart rate goes crazy but it actually has nothing to do with the heart. It’s your autonomic nervous system baby.

[carmenpeach]

i feel like my weird unexplained health issues are getting to the point where scientists should be paying me to research me

red monkey magic on the turtle tank 👆

[tempe-brennans]

too pretty for this

[thebreakfastgenie]

I never really thought about this before but if my coarctation had been diagnosed a year or two earlier I might have been fucked because my dad was working in a higher education position that lasted a limited time. I was diagnosed when I was two and he had already gotten the job he stayed in until he retired but it's a congenital defect, I was born with it.

[housewifebuck]

YES to buck standing bisexually 😍 (also are you ok? You were in hospital?)

I’m gonna!!! And yes yesterday I was in the ER all day bc my heart lowkey be giving out on me 🫶🏻

[wolfchanw]

I work in a specialty vet hospital. My job is to go over incoming animals' medical records and condense them down into about a one-page format for the vet to look over before we do an initial consultation with the pets. We also have a short survey that the owners fill out with basics like what they eat, what meds/supplements they are on, etc.

The most important question on that survey to me is "Does your pet have any previous illness or injury?" Yes, I'm looking at their medical record, but it's pretty common that I will have the main record and the pet is also seeing another specialist for another problem....so the owner survey might mention something like pemphigus, which they are managing at a dermatology office whose records I don't have. This is SUPER important as we may need to change up their medication protocol.

Today, I was going over a survey where the owner had answered "No" to the illness/injury question. This was puzzling as I knew we had received records from an oncologist.

As I read over the records, I can see that the dog has an aggressive cancerous tumor in his left atrium, and the cardiologist he just saw has stated that he is at risk for cardiac rupture.

YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS IMPORTANT TO TELL THE VET YOU ARE ASKING TO ANESTHETIZE YOUR DOG?!

*Deep breath* If I'm being charitable, I'm going to assume that the owners were deeply distressed by this fairly recent diagnosis and weren't thinking clearly when filling out the survey. But I was confused, to say the least.

[ms-demeanor]

sorry for clarification: you no longer live in vegas? i scrolling through boss blog has me confused. you were wfh for a while

I am actually still WFH - large Bastard and i moved to Vegas because he got a job there in November 2019; he spent late may thru early july 2020 in the hospital because of heart failure, then got fired from his job in September and went back to LA because he had health insurance in California but not Las Vegas because his shitty boss never started the insurance that was supposed to be a benefit of the job.

So after he got fired he went back to LA to see his cardiologist and it turned out he was in late stage liver failure as a result of the heart failure and in February 2021 he was admitted to a transplant hospital and he had a heart and liver transplant in March and then was in the hospital for four months recovering and while he was recovering i moved us back from Vegas to his mom's house and then after a year and a half with his mom while he recovered we started renting my dad's house because my dad moved from LA to Texas in June 2020 (and at that time rented his house to my cousin).

I worked from home while i was moving us back from Vegas and while he was recovering from the transplant and i continue to mostly work from home because as a transplant patient he is immune compromised.

But now that the new bosses are in town for the transition of ownership i'm going in while they're here so i can ask them how to do stuff and get a much in person training as possible. When they leave I'll probably go into the office once or twice a week for half a day (it's also a 30 mile drive in LA traffic to get to work, and my old boss literally hasn't been paying me enough to go to the office - I can't afford to drive in more than a couple times a week unless i get a raise because it's like 200$ a month in gas).

Anyway, it's been a busy and stressful few years, but i lived in Vegas from May 2020 to April 2021 and was completely alone there from September to April (Which was still better than living with my mother in law, which is why we tried so hard to make it in Vegas even though large Bastard was so sick) and we're back in LA now.

[zombholic]

SORRRY i worded that wrong😭😭😭

like doctor!abby in a domestic environment lol, like how she is at home vs how she is with work

idk if that makes sense, if not don’t worry about replying hahahah

my bad completely xx

OOO I LOVE THIS QUESSTTIIOONNN, UMMM.

lemme like put them into 2 sections !!

—

DOCTOR ABBY:

- abby is definitely a neurosurgeon or a cardiologist like her dad was, she works along with mel and her dad.

- SHE STAYS PROFESSIONAL NO MATTER WHAT !!!

- which she’s doing checkups with patients she knows when they are flirting with her, like cmon who wouldn’t?

- abby uses big doctor words that would be too hard for your ditzy brain to understand so you just stick with whatever you’re doing.

- no like why is dr. anderson so fucking hot, when she’s sitting down, no matter where she is sitting THIS MUSCLE MOMMY MANSPREADS DAWG.

- omg don’t get me started on just her eyes when she wears a mask, she always wears a mask in the hospital unless shes in her office.

- as much as she loves her job she will always come back home to you!!

HOME ABBY:

- just regular abby at home only wears lounge wear, shes either in a tank top and sweats or shorts and a sports bra.

- she actually has a personality when she is at home or just around people that has nothing to do with work and this lady has the most dirtiest jokes to spill out her mouth

- doctor abby is proper and cute and calm, HOME ABBY BENDS U OVER THE COUNTER AND FAKE FUCKS YOU FROM BEHIND THEN RUNS AWAY

- leave u standing like “i will beat this bitch up”

- she will never leave ur side when she is at home, she is clinging onto you like a fucking gorilla sized spider monkey.

- yeah she’s like 10 years older than you, she is literally the most childish person and you love it.

- when she comes back home from surgery and a patient doesn’t make it, it really takes a huge toll on her and she just needs you to hold her, dont talk just hold and comfort her.

AN: i hope this is what you were looking for!! i tried my best, i literally wrote this on my 15 lmao😭😭

[nerdygaymormon]

Meeting with the Renlunds 2024

On my trip to Utah for the 2024 Gather Conference, I had an opportunity to meet with Elder & Sister Renlund.

Gather Conference and Gatherings

I shared with them that I was in town for the Gather conference, which is for LGBTQ people, regardless of whether still in or out of the church, who are spiritual as the conference focuses on Christ. This year, in addition to having a big conference, Lift+Love began something called "Gatherings" where people host a group in their home, and to help them there is a guide with scriptures, stories & questions, and it follows the Come, Follow Me schedule. Later, I emailed the Renlunds the September guide and a link to the website showing Gathering locations.

Stake Executive Secretary

It came up that my calling is still stake executive secretary. Sister Renlund commented, "You've served in that capacity for a long time." Yes I have, 9 years. Elder Renlund shared this a calling that he covets because there's something appealing about being at the nerve center but not in charge of making the hard decisions. It's good to be the helper, to make a difference by organizing things and creating order out of chaos. By making things predictable, it takes some of the load from the stake presidency.

Elder Renlund told me that the executive secretary to the First Presidency is Elder Brook Hales, and he's able to get things done without interposing himself, he is respectful of the First Presidency's desires. I commented that is how I approach my calling, I am not the president nor the counselors, I'm there as the secretary, but my stake president is clear that anyone in the room can receive inspiration and should share it. If time has gone by and I haven't said anything, the stake president will call on me and ask what I think. Elder Renlund then said, "Revelation is scattered."

Elder Renlund commented that when the stake president is anxious to hear from everyone in the room, that usually indicates he is a good one. The person who presides has to set that tone to encourage others to share. Those who don't preside should share their thoughts but not argue and make it difficult on the one who presides and make him feel he needs to negotiate or compromise. Then Elder Renlund added that if I’m doing a good job, "I think he's pretty wise to keep you on all this time."

Everybody is Equivalent when it comes to Revelation

The music text team for the new hymnal had asked if there is a notable author, like Janice Kapp Perry, whose song is going to be included, should those lyrics be treated the same as the rest of the hymns? Elder Renlund directed them to treat all identically.

Years ago President Nelson wrote a hymn titled "Our Prayer to Thee," and the choir has sung it at General Conference. With living authors, they won't make changes without their approval. The music text team proposed 12 minor changes to the lyrics along with explanations, and brought them to Elder Renlund.

President Nelson could have said, "Dale, you shouldn't even be asking. I was inspired to do it this way, I can't believe you're even suggesting this." Instead, President Nelson reviewed the changes and proclaimed that these made it better, and accepted 11 of the proposed alternatives. A leader should be humble enough and confident enough to accept correction. Elder Renlund used this example to illustrate his point that everybody is equivalent when it comes to getting revelation, but there's one person who is different, which is the person who presides.

The New Hymnal

Elder Renlund mentioned Elder James E. Faust's lyrics for "This is the Christ" which says, "How many drops of blood were spilled for me?" It's not doctrinal that each individual has a few drops of Christ's blood directly shed for them. Elder Renlund, the cardiologist, says that if there's drops for everybody, that would exceed the amount of blood in the human body. Sister Renlund then commented that it's poetic, it's a metaphor to ponder what did I contribute to His grief.

Next Elder Renlund spoke about the hymn "Love at Home" and how there's some lines that could be uncomfortable to sing if a person doesn't have the kind of home described in the song. Just as with the drops of blood, Elder Renlund shared another example of concrete thinking with the line "Roses bloom beneath our feet," and said if they're underneath your feet, you smash them. The lyrics have been changed to "Roses bloom around our feet." Elder Renlund actually didn't want this song included in the hymnal because it was used in minstrel shows of the 1800's to say that life for slaves on America’s plantations was full of joy and love. Elder Renlund felt that alone should disqualify the song from being included in the new hymnal, however the committee overruled him. I agree with Elder Renlund, I’ll never think of that song the same way and will probably decline to ever sing it again.

Translating each one of the 450 or so songs into every language version of the hymnal is a large undertaking and some were concerned about the cost. While saying it's important that every member have access to the same songs, it’s a matter of equity, he added that the cost of translation is "probably no more than installing 5 scoreboards at the BYU campus." 😂 The impact of the new hymnal on the church will be universal if it's done in each of the languages.

Music Invites the Spirit

Elder Renlund stated that for him there's very few things which invite the Spirit more than music, it has the ability to set the right tone. I responded that I think music has a key to our hearts that words alone don't. At weddings or funerals, someone may or may not cry at other times, but if they are going to cry they will do so when the music plays.

Sister Renlund shared that they are traveling to Houston, TX and will meet with the missionaries. They invited questions be submitted ahead of time, and one they received is "How do we invite the Spirit into our lessons more?" In addition to prayer, scriptures, and an expression of gratitude, she will suggest music is a great way to invite the Spirit. Whether it's singing or using the phone to play music, it's a way to quickly set the tone for a spiritual message.

Elder Renlund shared that years ago he was in Edmonton, Canada and visited the home of a family. Two sister missionaries sang "Where is Heaven" by Janice Kapp Perry, and the non-member dad felt the room flood with the spirit. Any concerns, any doubts, just disappeared. The music opened his heart.

I commented that at last year’s conference I met Janice Kapp Perry and she had written a song for the conference which I find moving. Elder Renlund said, if you bump into her, tell her that her music has an impact.

All Are Alike Unto God

The song for last year's conference is titled, "All Are Alike Unto God.” Janice wrote the music and Megan Decker, a lesbian member of the church, wrote most of the lyrics, which are generic enough that they could apply to anyone, but for people in that room it touches on themes we often wrestle with, such as "Am I enough? Am I loved? Am I wanted?" As we sang this song at the conference, I felt the Spirit so much.

Elder Renlund queried, "In the song, does she reach a conclusion, is there an answer to those questions?" "Yes it does." "That's right, the answer is 'yes.'"

He then said, "The one thing I absolutely know is that anything that's unfair in life will be made right by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I don't know how, but it will."

In the follow-up email I sent with information on the Gatherings, I let them know the song “All Are Alike Unto God” was released on streaming platforms, and included a link to Spotify.

Cambodia

They were in Cambodia earlier this year and made a visit to the killing fields where about 1 million people were executed by order of Pol Pot. There were stacks of skulls along with notes of what kind of farming implement killed them because the regime was trying to save bullets. It's a demonstration of absolute evil, yet Elder Renlund felt absolute peace as he felt the message that "We don't need to worry about these people, I've [Christ] got them." The atonement is infinite. We may have questions we don't have answers to, we have situations which aren't fair and which are difficult, but people who do the best they can are going to reap great rewards.

The Book of Queer Mormon Joy

At the end of our visit I gifted them a copy of The Book of Queer Mormon Joy. Being in this space of being LGBTQ and a Latter-day Saint is difficult, but there is joy, too. These aren't simple stories of joy, they're complex and the joy has to be worked for. A lot of the stories are of people choosing to change their situation, changing what they think is possible for their life, or what they want for their life.

There was a song from the 1960's, "Turn! Turn! Turn!" based on Ecclesiastes 3, which says there's a time for joy and a time for sadness. We think of it as separate times, but often we experience joy while we deal with hard things, we don't have the luxury of waiting for the hard times to pass.

I bookmarked the story I wrote of my friend Kris who is trans masc. I also bookmarked my good friend @loveerran’s story of her first time going to an LDS family ward and attending Relief Society presenting as her feminine trans self and how meaningful that was for her. I mentioned she had given me a ride and was waiting for me downstairs.

They promised to read both stories.

Then, they handed me a book they had written and asked if my friend Erran would accept a gift, they'd like her to have it as a thank you for bravely sharing her story💗 and for giving me a ride😆.

[thezombieprostitute]

Lol, half the comments on this video are about hot, competent doctors and nurses. Which babes do you think are getting inaccurate heart rates bc they’re just too damn fine!?

So, my brain started with Curtis as a nurse to a single mom who gets her heart racing by how good he is with her son. And then it went off to create the foundations for an entire Hospital AU! What the frick, brain?!

Lots more characters than I intended, making this post pretty long so I'll add a Read More. No promises on all characters making the cut, but also open to adding other characters.

Please let me know if you think the characters and their roles work or not! This is all very theoretical at the moment.

Bucky Barnes - Physical Therapist. He develops a crush on a new patient after they get to talking about all of their shared interests (including cats).

Chris Beck - Chief of Surgery. Established relationship with a woman he met in college. Married with at least one child.

Clark Kent - Oncologist. Sometimes throws off his coworkers because he's so friendly and good natured towards his patients but then gets steely and focused when it comes to everything else. He's been in the field so long, people think he must be superhuman, but what no one knows is that Clark regularly visits a BDSM club to help him keep his cool at work.

Curtis Everett - Nurse for an Internal Medicine practice. He meets a single mother during a regular appointment. Her babysitter canceled at the last minute and Curtis becomes the kid's favorite person.

Geralt - Pharmacist. Knows all the right medications and will question doctor notes, especially if there's an interaction with another medication that will cause problems. Primarily enjoys the company of one of the pharmacy tech's whose been there almost as long as him.

Jake Jensen - Nurse in the Pediatrics Ward. He's popular with the kids for his willingness to play, bring plushies, and fix up video game systems. Whatever they need to help their treatments go easier, he's there to help them. He meets a newer nurse and helps her with the emotional struggles that come with the job.

James Mace - Custodial. It's not the most celebrated job, but it's honest work and Mace is happy to do his part to keep the hospital running. He's the go-to for when things break down, including the car of a lovely doctor who's at her wits end.

Johnny Storm - New surgeon. Definitely a hot shot who thinks he's the best of the best, despite having so much more to learn. Regularly hooks up with the nurses as part of his "good luck" ritual. Eager to impress the one nurse who turned him down.

Lloyd Hansen - He's put enough money into this hospital to get a wing named after him. Now his mother is in need of care and Lloyd is very demanding of the cardiologist in charge of said care.

Ransom Drysdale - Major donor to the hospital. It's pretty much just to look good to the press but he meets either the Hospital Director or the Gifts Manager (not yet sure which) at a charity event and wants to get to know her better.

Steve Rogers - ER Doctor. Always cool under pressure, able to prioritize cases when there's a rush, and quick to protect his staff from an unruly patient. He has a crush on one of the cafe/cafeteria workers that he talks to when he needs a moment of peace.

Walter Marshall - Security. Divorced with a teenage daughter. Meets another single parent at a school event.

[inky-starlight]

Just random life things:

Using a cane is going pretty well- the motions of walking with one feel a lot more natural now- but I've discovered that if I use the electric carts (usually only the big stores like Walmart or Target have them though) then shopping is easier because when I'm not in a ton of pain I can handle all the sensory things a lot better. Only problem with the cane is I'm starting to hurt my shoulder. Also I'm still having issues with dizzy spells and it would help if I could sit down.

Had my first cardiologist appointment- I'm asking my doctor for a referral to a different one cause this guy was a dick. Very dismissive and awful. He ordered an ultrasound/echo for my heart and a calcium test which I'm still doing. Also had a heart monitor for two days.

Reno's squamous cell carcinoma is back and I'm still processing that. Mom is very kindly doing the leg work for talking to the vet and looking up things that are Less Drastic. (The vet said he would talk to A&M and see what they said but his initial response for our choices were to do radiation or remove the eye all together. Which is why mom is looking up Other Things.)

No job yet. I'm gonna try applying for disability but I'd like to try and find *something* since the country is a nightmare.

[butch-reidentified]

i do like that person that was like "x is often self diagnosed/misdiagnosed so it's fine for doctors to instantly dismiss or belittle you!" Its like. No actually, a doctors duty of care is that they need to take it seriously & rule it out anyway? If there was a spate of prank calls to 911 about fires would the operator be forgiven for laughing in the face of someone who's house is actually burning down?? No tha fuck not! But ofc this doesnt even apply to you since it was before pots was commonly known etc etc. i just thought it was funny that even if the premise anon set was true to begin with it would still certainly not be ok lmao.

prev anon

exactlyy

if anon does work in medicine I hope someone reports them. the mentality of instantly dismissing people (read: women [esp since POTS and EDS primarily affect women btw]) is sick

in fact, people with EDS call themselves Zebras because of the whole "when you hear hoofbeats think horses not zebras" but we are what happens when it is actually zebras. doubling the irony of anon's insane "contribution"

I have never known a medical professional who doesn't take POTS seriously *at all* either, and it was very clear that anon doesn't actually know fuckall about POTS (or MCAS or related conditions for that matter, despite alluding to them). like I said to anon, POTS cannot be faked like that. especially long-term. my heart rate went from mid-70s sitting to 170s standing. good luck faking that fr. especially /every single time you ever stand up/ (like any fitness watch can show you is happening)

I had a bunch of tests done to get my diagnosis, and then had to see multiple cardiologists post-dx in order to even begin to get an attempt at treatment. the first treatment the final cardiologist tried made me BEDBOUND for FIFTEEN MONTHS. in college!!! I was using a cane through half of college. POTS is not a joke and doesn't fuck around.

my life changed once I found ivabradine (corlanor), but that took quite a while. and even then it took me YEARS to get a real prescription (during which time I relied on free samples from a saintly doctor) because only the brand name Corlanor was available in the USA until literally a couple of months ago, and most insurances wouldn't cover it for POTS because it's for heart failure so it's an off label use. and brand name Corlanor is EXTREMELY expensive. and I qualified for Amgen's financial assistance program and got rejected anyway, btw. I have to take such a high dose that I need two prescriptions of it a month, which costs ~$1300. I had to switch jobs to get on an insurance plan that was willing to cover it for POTS (after a huge fight). when I had to leave that job, I had to start buying the market version of that (gold tier PPO) insurance for $1000/month because that was still cheaper than the medication.

you can't even comprehend how much money I've spent over the past decade to be remotely functional POTS-wise, and again, I consider myself VERY lucky. I have something that works. even though I frequently have gaps in my access to it, even though I have to constantly fight with doctors, insurance, and pharmacies to maintain it. despite the insane expenses. I am very very lucky POTS-wise. I have seen what unlucky looks like.

vEDS & the 24/7 chronic pain is a whole other beast, as are the associated extensive and debilitating issues like GI problems and migraines.

I don't talk about this stuff a lot on here, because I don't see any point to it. it's just gonna depress people. but that anon was appallingly ignorant and spreading misinformation. anyone who has insight into the real lives of people with POTS, EDS, MCAS, gastroparesis, etc., would understand how horrific these are to deal with, not just on their own, but in terms of things like living life (working a job, social life, etc) and dealing with the US healthcare system as well. not to mention that vEDS likely cuts my lifespan in half.

it's legitimately SO infuriating and disheartening to have watched in real time as POTS & EDS went from "nobody even knows what these are so good fucking luck getting medical help" to "increasing awareness and POTS getting changed from rare to common on google" to "this is just something for tiktok fakers" in 0.5 seconds flat

tldr -- that anon should actually die. or try living a single day in my body. one of these is easier than the other.

[chronicowboy]

absolute fucking insanity to have this exchange with the cardiologist that diagnoses eddie with repression:

"they just go back to their same old lives, go back to being the same old people?"

"some do. they tell me that almost dying makes them appreciate what they have. but for others they'll walk out of my office and decide to quit their job or leave their spouse"

i mean... in an appointment that is focused on buck's heart and his near death experience, they sum up how eddie handled his own near death experience in which buck is inextricably linked. eddie walked out of that office and broke up with his girlfriend then later transferred to dispatch, he realised he didn't need to give chris a mother because he had enough already and he learnt to appreciate that. and now the question of how buck will handle his near death experience will be, in some way, influenced by eddie's own words in the kitchen scene but also the journey of healing buck got to witness firsthand. and idk not only did they give buck and eddie the same heart doctor but they went deeper with the connection because, however you look at it, buck and eddie's hearts are intertwined.

[northwestmutt]

Let's talk about my POTS!

I recently got a mobility aid to assist me, and I want to talk about that. But I feel like I should give the full backstory of my POTS in a post first, and then my next post will be talking about my mobility aid. Content warnings for covid mention, feet pictures (blood pooling), and medical gaslighting - POTS is short for Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It is currently described as a dysfunction of the automatic nervous system, which is what controls involuntary things like heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, etc. but some studies incidate that it may also be an autoimmune disorder (though more research is needed on that). The primary criteria for diagnosis of POTS is a heart rate increase of 30 beats per minute or more within 10 minutes of standing up from a resting position. Many experience other symptoms such as lightheadedness, dizziness, shortness of breath, cold and/or discolored hands or feet, fatigue, etc. and some patients even faint. An ongoing issue for patients with POTS is getting a diagnosis. Few doctors or specialists know enough about POTS to test for it, and many doctors even blame it on other disorders such as anxiety.

I developed POTS after having COVID-19 in September of 2022. I was experiencing lightheadedness, dizziness, increased heart rate within a few minutes of standing, blood pooling in my feet, and fatigue. I went to my primary doctor at the time (we will him Dr. J), and he ordered bloodwork, which all came back normal. Dr. J brushed off my symptoms as anxiety and told me to stop drinking caffeine, so I did. I stopped drinking anything with caffeine (soda, coffee, etc.) for about a month, and it made zero change to my symptoms. After kicking caffeine had no change, he reluctantly referred me to a cardiologist. The cardiologist I saw (we will call him Dr. B) had a heavy accent which made communicating with him difficult. I had to rephrase what told him about my symptoms a few different times, and he didn't seem to fully listen or understand what I was saying becuase the only symptom he wrote in my chart notes was orthostatic lightheadedness (lightheadedness when standing). Dr. B did send me off to have more bloodwork done, and have an ACTH stimulation test. All of these came back normal, so Dr. B said he couldn't help me because "it's not a cardiac issue"

So I went back to my primary doctor, and asked him if he would do a heart rate test. He told me he didn't have time for that, and Dr. J basically accused me of "worrying too much" and claimed all of my symptoms were "normal" and that "everyone experiences that" so I should just stop bringing it up. After he said that, I felt like I was being gaslit by him so I switched providers. I made an appointment to see a different provider (he's a nurse practioner, so we will call him NP C. I cant remmeber the full acronym for his degree/job title) and at my very first appointment, he preformed the exact heart rate test I had asked Dr J. to preform without me even asking, and listened to all of my symptoms I was describing. He told me "yeah that's POTS" and I left with a diagnosis of POTS. This was either late October 2023 or early november 2023. I then went to see a different cardiologist who had more experience with POTS, and he agreed it sounded like POTS but ordered a tilt table test to be sure. I had the tilt table test in late December 2023, and the cardiologist who prefomed the test (a third, entirely different cardiologist that I hadn't seen before) confirmed that I had POTS. Unfortunately, I never got a follow-up appointment with the new cardiologist, because he was forced to re-retire due to illness. So I ended up seeing a fourth cardiologist, who didn't know anything more about POTS and POTS treatments than google does. She confirmed the diagnosis that I was given, but wasn't able to offer me any additional treatments. Medications to lower heart rate aren't an option, because my resting heart rate is already the low end of normal, and that taking one would risk bradycardia (low heart heart rate) So it took me over a year to get a diagnosis, after being gaslit by my former primary doctor and not understood by a specialist. But I had my new provider and three different cardiologists all agree that I have POTS. My advice to anyone who thinks they have POTS, but isn't being heard by their doctor, switch doctors if you can. Even if you've been seeing that doctor for years, switch doctors. I had been seeing my former primary doctor since I was a baby, but I couldn't handle being gaslit and accused of making things up anymore. Below is a photo of my feet as an example of blood pooling. Depending on the device you are using to view this, the discoloration in my feet after standing may be less visible/dramatic due to different screens showing different colors. It's more visible and closer to accurate when viewed on a newer phone than it is when I view it on my laptop that I am using to write this post.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Update

Hey guys sorry for the delay in posting. I know I said I would hopefully be uploading the next chapter for spiders sister / fics in general soon(ish) but I have a few things going on.

1. I have work for my job I have to do.

2. I am extremely exhausted as of late because of worsening heart issues. I’m scheduled to see a cardiologist soon to find out more which is really sad because Im actually quite young (but still over 18 dw hehe). I went to the doctor and they did an ECG I got diagnosed with tachycardia (my heart beats too fast). And aside from being really tired, I am out of breath and almost faint when I stand up. The almost fainting thing happens because my heart rate spikes when I stand / do things which makes daily life a bit difficult rn. And it’ll probably remain an issue until I can know more about what’s going on and how to treat it. So far all we know is it’s a heart issue of some kind.

3. My both of my grandmas are sick and it’s not looking good for either of them. Which is hard to deal with because of how important they are to me and my life.

I am not giving up on my writing (at this point I don’t think I ever even could if I wanted to ((WHICH I DONT)) it might just be anywhere between a few days to weeks until I’m able to write more (for either my ongoing series or just one shots). Basically if my workload eases up or I’m not so tired / have some motivation I might get some more writing done. But for the next little bit I may be a bit slower in bringing out new works.

I probably will be writing a fair few fics ✨projecting✨ though so … yeah.

And I need ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth out but can’t until we sort the heart issues.

Don’t worry about me though I’ll be ok. And I just thought I should explain why I’m a bit absent lately which has also been partly due to uni workload (in term time).

Also idk if I have said this but I’ll assume I should reiterate based on my lack on anons in my inbox but I’m taking requests (that I deem fit) for both marvel characters (wanda, pepper, Natasha) and marvel cast (Lizzie and Scarlett but I can also have the Olsen twins show up if you want but not as the main characters).

Make sure y’all drink water today and take breaks.

Also if ur one of my anons and you feel like it, come say hi I miss y’all (hehehe)

- ccc ☕️

[extasiswings]

I have been noticing things, and I don't know what to make of them, so I am bringing them to you, because you have been blessed/cursed by Apollo's dodgeball and are also great at connecting dots. I apologise.

I am worried about Buck's lungs. His sats dropped when he was in a coma, to the point of needing ECMO, but during his recovery we only saw him see a cardiologist, no respiratory rehab was mentioned. Now his PT scores are down. The show has also been weirdly pointed about focusing on sats monitors being put on people's fingers during calls. They've done it on at least 3 of the calls since Buck's been back, and at no point have the people's sats been mentioned - even the woman face down in dough, who was started on oxygen. That in itself isn't a big deal - they're a quick way of getting a heartrate, and its standard practice to put one on. But why keep showing them? Then this week, Maddie had the call with the kid where she had to remind him how to breathe.

So, what do you think? Is there anything there, or am I projecting because I'm having to have respiratory physio after covid?

Just when I thought I couldn't get any more unhinged! No, there is DEFINITELY something there and I'm not gonna be normal about it. There are a couple of different places my mind went to (because it's not just Buck, Eddie's in this too) so apologies if this is scattered:

Buck + Death is the big overarching theme looming over Buck's healing journey. Buck's life has been about Death since before he was even born, when he was conceived to be a savior baby...and was a match...but Daniel still died anyway. And Buck has been running towards Death ever since, seeking it out, courting it like a lover without even realizing why, never knowing that Daniel's ghost was haunting him. He has internalized so completely this idea that his value is entirely dependent on what he can do for others, on how much he can sacrifice, can give, up to and including his own life. The fact that the problem was Buck's lungs in the episode where he was reckoning with Daniel for the first time while trapped in his subconscious mind was inspired and a huge callback to Buck Begins, after Buck first learned about Daniel, with Buck in the warehouse fire taking off his mask and telling the guy he was trying to save that he would just hold his breath. And Buck's been holding his breath in a sense ever since. Spiraling. Stagnating. Regressing. He quit therapy. He trapped himself for a year in a soulless relationship because he was already depressed but then the shooting happened and Eddie basically told him he wasn't allowed to keep trying to kill himself, taking away one of his main self-harming coping mechanisms (passive suicidality brushed off by telling himself he's actually helping people), all of that.

There are also the crush injuries surrounding him (which I wrote about in 6A as being super sus). Thomas and Mitchell and a car accident crush injury, the first call where Buck begins explicitly associating romantic love with death. Buck being crushed under the ladder truck, which ultimately led to the blood clots and a pulmonary embolism because he wouldn't let himself rest and recover, wouldn't let himself heal or slow down, because he was too focused on getting back to work where he could (in his mind) be useful, be worth something, could save lives. And he admitted then that he didn't know what/who he was without the job, and ironically almost torched all of his relationships with the people who love him regardless in order to get back to it. And then of course there's also Lev. Lev trying to find the secrets to happiness but instead being crushed to death by a walkway that collapsed because the hotel identified the problem but never made the repairs. And it was through him that Buck started thinking that he could find all the answers he's been looking for in death.

But...Buck died. Actually died. And despite his joke about his math powers and being the guy with the answers, he doesn't have them all.

At the end of 6x11, he took a breath. He took a step. He allowed himself a little bit of self-awareness, of self-reflection, he dipped his toe into the water of the root trauma that has led him to all the others. But he's awake now, and what has he done? By all accounts it looks like exactly what he's done every other time/like he's falling back into the same bad habits. He let his mom steamroll him into getting him a couch that he didn't want. He threw himself back into work as soon as he could and keeps trying to brush off the fact that he went through a serious trauma (physical/mental/emotional) to the point that the people who love him have to keep reminding him that he literally died. He has the tools he needs to heal, but isn't actually taking the steps to get there. And, as you point out, they're potentially foreshadowing that there are still problems with his lungs that may still get worse.

Because Buck is, at heart, one big crush injury. He has been suffocating under the weight of trauma after trauma since he was born, conceived in grief and then discarded. He has been suffocating under the weight of hiding his true feelings from others (up to and including hiding them from himself) and leaving so many necessary things unsaid. But it also makes me think about Eddie and Home Invasion and the call at Marisol's and everything that I've been saying about insulation as protection but too much protection stifling you so much that you can't breathe. Buck being "the settler" in romantic relationships because he can't get hurt (at least not as badly) if he's not actually attached to the relationship, never going after/asking for what he really wants. Eddie being his own variation on "the fugitive" always running from the things that he's most afraid of. Both of them trying desperately to protect their hearts from getting broken and instead ending up in a place where they are both always dying...

Idk, there's something about Buck + Death and Eddie + Fear and Buck constantly suffocating vs. Eddie drowning, and Buck starting the season not wanting to make the same mistakes but also possibly "misunderstanding the assignment" with this death doula, and water finding its level...yeah...yeah...