#which is that they're both my dads and i love
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Who are the hatchlings favourite dragons after caraxes? I feel like quelebrys might take a shine to the red queen though she did scare off the twins in that one resonant chapter. They have already met seasmoke but I cannot remember much about that interaction. I feel like shadow would much love a mischievous dragon like him though that might be one of rhaenyra's children's hatchlings or the wild dragons on dragonstone (danger! Stay AWAY from the cannibal). In regnal au I am much excited for the hatchlings to meet vermithor/silverwing (and their riders if they're still alive by the time they're introduced lawl)
Too early to say, honestly! Like you said, they've only met a few: their "cousins," and then Seasmoke and Meleys. I feel like Syrax and Qelebrys will probably butt heads? Syrax is all "you hussy!" at Caraxes for rearing these strange eggs/hatchlings, and Qelebrys is like "that's my Caraxes" about her dragon-dad.
Shadow wants to be every dragon's friend, but his favorites will probably be their older cousins. Imagine the hilarity of Shadow being all adoring of "big brother Vermax" and then three years later, Shadow has already surpassed him in size.
We'll have to see! Usually I don't know the dynamics until I'm writing them. 😅
(It'll be very interesting in Regnal, I agree! Poor Silverwing doesn't get rides anymore, since Alysanne is no longer is good enough health to ride her, which breaks both their hearts. The Vermithor-hatchling interactions will be ones to watch out for!)
#resonant asks#forget daemon and viserys's reactions to the hatchlings#jaehaerys is gonna be warning klaxons send for my spies where the fuck did volantis get those eggs from
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pearl + franmaya thoughts
Bridge To The Turnabout is one of absolute favorite ace attorney cases of all time, this isn't really surprising as from what I've seen, its generally considered one of (if not) the best cases. It gives us the best thing that has ever graced this world, assistant Franziska. But also Pearl and Franziska interaction, and this one interaction is basically the foundation for people's interpretations of Pearl's idea of Franziska and Maya being together. And I love it. Some of my favorite plots for Franmaya fics are the ones where Franziska NEEDS to win over the approval of this. Literal child. For the sake of her relationship. Whether it be through Franziska making Pearl think she is so super cool, bonding through hurt/comfort, or Pearl just coming to realize that Franziska makes Maya happy, I absolutely adore when people write and/or make art about it. In canon, Pearl literally just berated Franziska, a grown adult, for being mean to her cousin..and Franziska took that personally. The scene itself is amazing because Franziska would never take criticism like that from anyone. But this 9 year old absolutely tears her apart in a way no one could even DARE to try. But this isn't about that one scene from BTTT that everyone knows about. This is me being stupidly self indulgent over a ship I love. Franziska and Maya being gay for each other aside, I love the dynamic between Franziska and Pearl. In a way, they're just like each other, which leads me to believe that Franziska would truly see herself in Pearl, and want to protect her like she were her own kin. Both prodigies, both destined for something amazing, both having corrupt parents. I feel as though Franziska would look at Pearl and envision a tiny Franziska, wanting to be just like her Papa, incredibly intelligent for being such a young age, and not really knowing any better of the horrors of having to grow up so fast. I think as close as they would become, Pearl would tell Franziska about what her mom was like, to Franziska's horror. I mean, Pearl's autonomy was kind of stripped from her. Maybe that's a stretch but with the way Morgan acted and talked about Pearl, I've always compared them to Rapunzel and Mother Gothel from Tangled. A lot of people hate Manfred Von Karma and believe him to be an abusive father, but I feel like there's reason to believe from multiple sources that he actually loved his kids. But this isn't about him and there's people who have explained this point way better than I ever could. Something I see a lot less is talk about Morgan Fey. Who was willing to kill her own niece so Pearl could take her place. Like her own blood. Back to the Rapunzel and Mother Gothel comparison, Mother Gothel values Rapunzel for her hair and that hair's ability to keep her young. Morgan values Pearl for her absolutely insane psychic abilities, believing she could be the one to put the branch family back on top. She wants to basically live vicariously through her daughter and will absolutely stop at nothing to get her goal achieved. Sucks to suck for her because it doesn't work but it also makes you go what the fuck! Maybe one day I'll make another post after doing a bunch of research on how this could pyschologically fuck up a kid (though I already have some idea). Franziska would absolutely want to protect this kid's innocence. Pearl doesn't know any better, she's a kid. She doesn't fully understand all the adult stuff going on around her and this is touched upon in BTTT. Pearl shouldn't know about all the horrible stuff that goes on in her family. She should literally be playing with dolls and probably learning how to use a whip, this is Franziska after all. This is technically a franmaya post and yet it has mostly been about Franziska and Pearl's friendship because well, I think franmaya needs to be there for Franziska and Pearl to even interact, because it puts that feeling inside of Franziska to have Pearl approve of her like a dad would.
Another thing I wanted to touch on because I cannot form a coherent train of thought even if I tried was the "homophobic Pearl" joke, which is just something I think is funny but also hope people don't actually take as a factual part of her character. Like ironically, yeah that's hilarious. Truly though, Pearl would not be homophobic, obviously?? Like someone could make the argument that Morgan instilled homophobia into her, but also she didn't let her leave the village so I kind of believe Morgan would think she wouldn't have to, if she wanted to even. If she doesn't leave the village how is she gonna learn about different kinds of love. Also Pearl is just, really into romance in general, she believes it to traditionally be between a man and a woman because that's what she's been taught, she's a kid. Also Maya is like, her idol, if she said she liked girls and boys (or just girls depending on how you hc her) then Pearl would gaze at her all starry eyed and go "YOU CAN DO THAT???" and probably think up a bunch of stories about princesses being together. Pearl being included in franmaya sillies is so important to me, Maya watching as two of her favorite people finally get along, Franziska feeling that protective instinct bubble up inside of her at the innocence of this little girl, Pearl coming to terms that Maya loves who she loves, and Franziska isn't as bad as she once was. They are so. Found Family. They matter SO much to me.
#ramblings#ace attorney#pearl fey#maya fey#franziska von karma#franmaya#im really hoping i didnt accidentally end up going in circles i feel like i do that sometimes when i rant to my friends#me bringing up the same point for the 5th time because it makes me go crazy and feral#also I have a LOT of thoughts about Morgan Fey and I could go on forever about how she feels about Pearl because#im just normal like that#im so normal#also I don't see enough talk about how Morgan was as a parent and an aunt#that lady is EVIL#reasoning and trauma be damned SHE'S EVIL#can you tell im normal
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Heeey! I've always adored your comics. They're even the reason that I'm into the Wittobane Fandom! Anwayyy, I wanna know how Caleb's different viewpoint on some subjects from Evelyn and his lack of organic magic might affect his dynamic with his family in the au in which he does live
Will Caleb struggle to manage the life of a Dad, especially when his kids are a mix of another being AND a different culture? Do you think he'll keep his past a secret? I'm sure he'll try his best to be a great dad and protect his kids, but will that mean telling them of their origin (of being relater to both witch hunters and witches)? Or let them grow up with the belief a lie, something like "he's an orphan with no family or connection of any sort" since that is half true..
Ah! Caleb's dynamic with characters is always so interesting!! I'd love to know your thoughts :)
Heyyy! I'm so happy and flattered to hear you enjoy my silly little comic! Seriously, no idea what I'm doing but it seems to work lmao
As for your question: there is a comic where Caleb voices thoughts of guilt he'd have if Evelyn's and his child would turn out more human than witch. Be it appearance wise or related to magic abilities. He's scared others will put it at too high a pedestal and be mocking or excluding. Much like is actually the case with Robyn and his school yard taunt.
But he wouldn't keep part of their identity from them. They are half human, and they deserve to know that. If they'd ask him to tell more about the human realm, he'd answer their every question. Well... almost every question. He wouldn't speak much about his past, and especially when they are younger, he would keep the fact he participated in witch hunts unspoken, but he will tell them once they're able to grasp it better. Before that happens, though, most of the time, he simply says he has made many terrible mistakes in his youth.
That aspect is among the only things that might affect his relationship with his children negatively. He's trying his absolute best to be a good father overall, and he's quite successful with that. His children love him, they seek comfort in him, they love and want to spend time with him, they trust him. That is so sacred to him because it lets him know he's doing something right in his fatherly role and that essentially, he is better than his own father.
He is so scared of staining his darlings' adoration and trust in him by telling them what a horrible person he used to be. A liar, a thief*, an accomplice to murderers. Evelyn and his children are his everything. They are his world, his heartbeat and the air that he breathes. Evelyn forgave him. But will his children? This fear they may not, the fear that after they know the truth, their relationship will never be the same again, eats him alive. His only comfort is his wife's embrace and her reassuring words.
He does eventually tell them. He's met with different reactions initially, and some father-child bonds need longer to heal again than others, but if the Clawthorne kids inherited one thing from their mother, it's her forgiving and understanding nature.
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"I used to think there was no point." Until he got to Riverwood and met everyone in their clique. It was one of the first times he felt like he had a family. Even Jake. Believe it or not, he was like a brother to Tyler for the first few weeks. They bonded over football and stirring up trouble. Then Tyler found out they both liked the same girl (Brooke). That's when everything changed. Jake felt threatened by him and then the sabotaging began. It was disappointing because Tyler thought he could spot snakes better than that but he must've had his guard down. That'll never happen again. "I haven't had many good friends growing up. One or two at most. And homes never felt like homes. But here is different. I do want to make more of an effort." It was different because of her. He doesn't want to think about the day he'll inevitably have to leave her. The day the McKenzie's will kick him out and send him away. He'll never forget the first time he saw Brooke and every time they're in the same room, he makes sure to memorize every perfect detail of her. It might be more than just a crush but he's trying to push those feelings down. "Maybe I'll unpack a box or two." Flashing her a small smile over his shoulder, he turns the stove off and notices the way her panties poke out from underneath the shirt her lent her. He hopes his lingering gaze wasn't too obvious or the pull in his groin. For some reason, he can't seem to move past their night in France or the way she felt with him on that couch. He was almost certain she could cure his insomnia. They wouldn't even have to do anything. He just wants to lay with her again.
"Your dad's a good cook. I can always tell the difference between a homecooked meal and food that's catered. When someone makes something for someone they care about, it's different." Tyler wanted to say something along the lines of it being cooked with love. But he doesn't know what love is and has never used the word, not for anything. He doesn't love his car, he doesn't love racing, reading, or sex. That emotion has been put on a pedestal and he's certain he'll never reach it. But it makes him wonder if Brooke loves Jake or if she's ever been in love at all? "I wonder what life would look like if I grew up in the McKenzie house down the street from you. I wonder what my room would look like and—" if we would be boyfriend and girlfriend "—and never mind." Why live in a fantasy? It would just bring him down. Setting the plate down in front of her, Tyler joins her on the other side of the island with a sandwich for himself too. "That's the thing, you don't mean to be funny. You don't say things to make people laugh. You're just genuinely funny. You say what's on your mind and you're unapologetic about it. It's refreshing. I like how blunt you are. You don't hide things. It makes me feel relaxed, I don't have to be suspicious of you. I can just sit down and enjoy your company. I know if you have a problem, you'll just say it..." he laughs. "Which is why I know you'll be brutally honest about my sandwich. Don't worry, you can't hurt my feelings. They're rock solid." Not true, but he never claimed to be as honest as he thinks she is.
"In any of it, I guess." She doesn't want to be more specific and say 'me', because then he'll know she cares what he thinks of her. And, every girl magazine she owns tells her not to do that. The point is to play hard to get. That's what makes guys want you more. Not that she assumes, he's like every other guy. Tyler's proven on more than one occasion, he marches to the beat of his own drum. He doesn't conform in order to become more popular. It's the way he fights against his peers that has earned him a lot of praise and respect. At least, from Nina. The more he pulled away from her, the more she wanted him to be hers. And, only hers.
"So you say," Brooke teases as she pulls her knees up to her chest and makes herself comfortable along one of the island chairs. From that new angle, if he wanted to, he could see a small sliver of her underwear poking out from under his shirt. Brooke wasn't too concerned with it though. She assumed he was too preoccupied with the sandwich to take notice of anything she was doing as she waited. "My mom?" The question involving her mother, causes a snort to erupt in response. "My mom burns eggs when she tries to cook. As do I, so we leave it to the professionals." Like her dad. He was no chef but, he knew how to cook and he made a mean pitcher of fresh orange juice every morning. "Special dinners and parties at the Maddoxes are all catered, I hate to break it to you. But Sunday dinners are Mayor Maddox creations. Like that pot roast you had, it was an original recipe. Don't ask me what's in it though because I have no idea."
Brooke was talented at many things but none of them involved a kitchen or cooking utensils. Nor did it involve laughs. Usually, Jake was the comedian of their group. Brooke sometimes said things though, and people thought she was joking but, in all actuality, she was dead serious. "Are they?" Brooke wonders, while cocking her head to one side. "Or are they just brutally honest?" Maybe her jokes were both but, she couldn't distinguish the difference. Nevertheless, her heart skips a beat and her stomach fills with butterflies again after being referred to as pretty eyes for a second time. "There's no such thing as compassion, in high school. The weak get outted and then eaten. Everyone knows that." Which is why Brooke follows Nina's lead and why she knows she shouldn't be there. His girlfriend would ruin her life if she found out Brooke went home with Tyler before she did. "Is that sandwich ready yet? Because I'm starving." And I need a distraction.
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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(Ignore that this took me the better part of a day)
Ok ok ok so. This follows the AU/headcanon that the Stan twins are transmasc. How would that work growing up in the 1950s/60s? Idk use your imagination.
But Ford still manages to pass as a dude by college and ends up in the male dorms at Backupsmore, where he rooms with Fiddleford. And they both pretty much fall head over heels for each other, but Fidds is the epitome of internalized homophobia and Ford is too emotionally unintelligent to recognize his own feelings, let alone Fidds' obvious ones.
So things go the same as canon, they part ways and Ford goes to Gravity Falls, Fidds marries Emma May. And Ford eventually asks Fidds to come to GF and help him with the portal.
But then, unlike canon, the tension between them becomes too much. One night they're a bit too sleep deprived or had a bit to drink or smth idk yet but boom now they're having an affair. With all the angst and conflicting feelings that come with it.
Of course, Fidds still falls into the portal and leaves the project, leaving Ford alone to pretty much deal with the problems he unintentionally caused, only now, Ford feels a bit off and hasn't had a period in a while. He blames stress and the testosterone he scienced his way into making for himself.
Spoiler alert: It was not the stress or the self made T
So Ford realizes a bit too late that oh shit he's pregnant, but by then he has no clue where Fidds is and is well into his self isolation and spiral to avoid Bill. And man's not a doctor, and is very deep in stealth mode rn, so it's not like he could get an abortion or somehow give himself one. So man's gotta have a baby.
(Plus, idk if this is a popular opinion, but based on how Ford is with Dipper and Mabel, plus how much he loved the shapeshifter when it was a baby, I actually think Ford would kinda want to be a dad. Idk if he'd realize that - I think he'd be so tunnel visioned on his scientific goals that he wouldn't even think about it as an option, but if presented with it, he would be willing. Especially after getting humbled, which the falling out with Bill definitely did (he definitely needed a little more humbling but it was a start))
Anyways fast forward probably only a few months (bc again it took him forever to notice + stress and not taking care of oneself due to a mental spiral probably wouldn't result in the baby wanting to stay in there for too long) he has the kid, it's a bit scary bc he's alone and again, not in the best state, but at the end of it all he's got a healthy baby girl and they're both okay.
He names her Andromeda because honestly the name just sounded nice in my head and he would name his kid something nerdy like that, and cries like the minute she's born when he notices she has six fingers on both hands, like him
I wanna draw her eventually bc I've got ideas about her ranging from childhood to adulthood but I am not the fastest artist.... Or much of an artist at all tbh
Either way he manages to get by with baby Andromeda for a month or two until he realizes that living off of rationed food in isolation in his shack is not at all sustainable if he wants to raise his kid. So he decides to send Stanley that postcard to give Bill one more hurdle to climb over to get that portal.
And then things either go the same as canon, or they don't. It depends on whether or not Andromeda wakes up from her nap earlier than expected or not.
Ford's got some kinda super techy baby monitor set up in his underground office.
So one of two things happen.
Stan and Ford get into a fight, Ford gets accidentally pushed into the portal, and a few hours into Stan's desperately trying to get it back running, Andromeda wakes up and cries, alerting Stan to her existence. And now not only does he have a missing twin brother to bring back, but a niece to raise. Uh oh.
Or.
Andromeda wakes up while Stan and Ford are fighting, before they get close to the portal. And it jars them enough that they stop. And then Stan helps Ford figure out a different way to stop Bill. And also reconnect with Fiddleford, and help him get better, and raise their daughter, and overall try to get their lives (including Stan's own) in order.
Stanley nicknames the baby Andy, and despite Ford's annoyance the nickname sticks better than Andromeda ever did.
Alrighty @localcanadian-blog1 and @gaybutterflynerd bc y'all commented y'all get tagged. Bc I want attention lol.
Would anybody like to hear about my AU where I pretty much threw a baby at Stanford Pines and then overthought what happens next
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...
I'm tired.
Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???
#taks speaks#literally woke up to an email from a place that interviewed me two days ago saying i wasn't selected for an interview#like??? What???#YOU JUST INTERVIEWED ME#there's one of them that i'm hoping for bc it has the lovely 8-5 hours. not per shift. just being open#and it's a tourist trap#that has good health benefits and gets me into other tourist traps around town For Free +3 guests max#like hello. dad can visit. bring both sisters. we're going touristing#and sea world at 50% off which is pretty damn cool#i'm gonna start harassing them daily on the phone as of wednesday#if that gas station food prep job doesn't get back#which pays a touch more with a 10% discount on GAS#BUT they're the ones who sent that weird email this morning saying i didn't make it to the interview stage which um#why? what? you talked to me twice?#I'm QUALIFIED? It's the same damn job i previously had but for a gas station. i mean come on#ugh. my lowest quality options are part time at a busier and more annoying tourist trap#or *sighs* dominos.#at least dominos gets good tips tho#everyday for like. the last week has been interviews#except yesterday which tbh i slept most of it#i need a fuckin job dude. come on#i have also created a list of managers i would rather be interviewed by#at the bottom of the list is intimidating older woman. next is slightly younger than that woman who thinks i don't look local enough#somewhere in the middle is that really chill old lady who gave me advice about chafing in the heat. great lady#and top is black man in his 20s. very chill. easy to talk to. i've been interviewed by two and the first one was younger than me#and i intimidated him. bc i knew more about interviewing laws than he did. whoops. missed out on the job but he was nice#today's though? KNEW HIS SHIT. Perfect manager. I'd want to work for him. Chill. easy to talk to and understood the laws well#...just realized the bar is that low. wow.#sadly he's the dominos guy and that job is second to last on my preferred list#i have most definitely noticed that the person interviewing you sets the daily tone for the job
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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Am I the only girl whose parents think it's inconceivable for you to have male friends
Like- a guy I sat next to in my GCSE maths class waved at me from the zebra crossing outside my school whilst my dad was giving me a lift home once and my dad just would not stop asking me about it, according to my mum he was convinced I was dating the guy for months after
I'm just wanting someone to ask me out just so that they shut up about it at this point
I'm just realising my life is the beginning of a fake dating fanfic isn't it
#i love my dad but my god does he want me to be dating someone#both my parents do kinda#they're always asking me if I've got my eye on anyone in my sixth form#they have expressed that they are okay with me dating women at least which is nice#but they're definitely in the ''any guy who talks to my daughter is secretly her boyfriend'' state of mind
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#last night we were both a little sleepy.#a little wine-drunk.#i asked him to play me something on the guitar while i leaned on his shoulder.#he said he only knows a few songs. i said that's fine#whatever you want.#first song: like real people do by hozier#which has a very tender place in my heart because it's the last song i sang for a real performance (2015).#so i still know all the words.#and he didn't know that!#it just happened to be the song.#anyway it was 1230am. anyway my jacket smells like his apartment.#anyway early this morning i said i thought romance was built of small acts of devotion. like how every morning my dad makes my mom coffee#because she sleeps worse and takes longer to wake up and he wants her to not have to worry about another thing in the morning.#when she comes downstairs every day he has it ready for her to take to work.#he makes it separately because he drinks an entirely different coffee than she does. but he makes it because he wants her to have it.#it's one of many small repeated acts of love they do for each other. they're still in love with each other after 30 years.#anyway my boyfriend is a notorious instant coffee fiend.#it's easy and he likes the flavor.#but when we got up this morning he pulled out a bag of coffee beans and a hand-grinder and said: would you like me to make you coffee?
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I was going to name this “angel of darkness” after the song I listened to on repeat while drawing this, but then I remembered it’s Loona and she probably wouldn’t appreciate anything that could relate her to Cherubs of any kind. So now it’s just LoonaDeath.png
Anyway Puss in Boots 2 hum. It’s all everyone is talking about rn. And it makes me hella happy.
I went in without any expectations since I had avoided most trailers and wow. I came out with one of my new favorite movies of all time, animated or otherwise. I genuinely think it’s among DreamWorks’ best. I did not expect such an accurate and respectful depiction of mental health and PTSD; or a valid discussion about mortality x what makes like worth it, or what counts as a family, or healing broken trust.
But it delivered that and much more.
I just love it a lot, everything about it. Animation, story, character, themes. Between Puss in Boots 2, The bad guys and Del Toro’s Pinocchio I think 2022 was a great year for animation and none of it was Disney so hummm. Let’s see if that changes.
Either way it was a great movie.
So. El Lobo hum.
Yeah shoot me he’s pretty hot I’ll just embrace it. I love him. All my furry friends do, one way or another. Whether you think he’s really cool or you want him inside y-
Probably one of the most memorable and menacing villains in recent animated movies and damn it I love him. In a lot of ways. For a lot of reasons. But they went all out on his animation and his scenes are so great.
Long story short a very random and weird roleplay between a friend and I ended up with us figuring out that Loona is Death’s biological daughter. Which explains their similar eyes and color pallet, and also why Loona is such a natural killer. So I made this.
It makes perfect sense and that’s CANON NOW
Or, you know, it’s just Loona dressed up as Death for Howl-o-ween. Whichever you prefer.
I like how this turned out so far. I WANT to try shading and maybe a bg but who knows so I’ll post this anyway. I hope you like it too.
also watch the movie if you haven’t !!
#Loona#Helluva Boss#Puss in boots 2#The last wish#Death#El lobo#La Muerte#(I guess?)#Dreamworks#Furry#Anthro#Wolf#Digital art#My art#Loona has done such growth recently and I love her so much more now#BUT i still can see her absolutely having a blast torturing those she's meant to kill#esp if they're assholes or waste their lives#I guess both her dads being killers in a way or another shaped her a lot#Clown dad and wolf dad and whatnot#not to be confused with Wolf Daddy which is what I hav-#Also I just realized the inside of her ears are white and I hate it bc it blends with her face so its pink now#ALSO it would have been great to get ONE shot of El Lobo where he isnt either concealed by the hood or in complete darkness#bc i had to base her outfit on fanart instead bc in the whole movie you CANT SEE SHIT#...can you guess what kind of fanart showed up the most#im not complaining just. the choke-hold this wolfman has on the community now lmao#choke me daddy etc etc
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#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but#not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about.#that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends#that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even#considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF...#like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy)#but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car#crash or fix me soup when I'm sick.#like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad#and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship#right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go#if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through#the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!!#and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after#she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think#anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore#but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst#Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that#this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me#WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today#and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore!#In the Vents#GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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welp. it's official: can't talk to either of me parents about issues pertaining to my identity. 🥲
#personal#me mum has more of a what i'd call ''defeatist outlook''#which basically is just ''well that's just how the world works. no can do except to just take it as it is''#like she doesn't see society as a construct and thus something that not only can we change but also we MUST change for the better#whereas me dad has more of a ''fuck em all!!'' stance#where he's like ''who gives a shit what anyone else think! live your truth to the fullest!!'' without understanding how fucking scary it is#like me mum understands the fear she just. surrenders to it i guess#while me dad doesn't seem to understand that at all and can't comprehend why i wouldn't do it#don't get me wrong i still love them both terribly and they're both very very supportive and accepting of me#without making a big deal out of it. which is already more than i can ask for#but they don't *get* it. both of them just have fundamentally different views of how the world works/how it's supposed to work than i do#i don't like fighting and even less so with my parents so i guess i'll just. have to find other people to talk to.#which is sad but. that's how it goes sometimes i guess.
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i started a new clangen clan yesterday and i can't get over how pretty this cat is like- the starclan guide is also v pretty.
#puppy rambles#wc#clangen#daisy's my favorite cat in this clan (not a clan for lore/challenge reasons but whatever) i love her#i've decided her former mentor (the really old clan healer) is her adopted dad also :3 they're good i love them#she and her mentor both have the strong connection to starclan skill n that's kind of funny to me#vinesky is one of only two starclan cats-#irrelevant but i feel like my rng in clangen always sucks sfdlkjfdkfsd-#no one ever gets together or anything#which sucks cuz the mate patrols are really cute :/ they're also really uncommon in my experience tho-#like i'll send two cats who are mates out alone and they won't even have one of the mate patrols#meanwhile i send two cats who aren't siblings out on an herb gathering patrol and the game thinks they're siblings lksfjdklfdsjfds-#though granted that's just. clangen dev version being. well. clangen dev version lsdfkjfdskljksfd-
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