#which is still a waste
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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Forbidden orange juice
#Narcissus is an overlooked tragedy i think#in that its not usually considered one#but narcissus was born beautiful and wanted by everyone#and he spurned all advances#generally without particular cruelty--mostly it seems he ignored or recoiled from those chasing him. and for that he was cursed#to love what would not love him back#to be doomed as soon as he knew himself#in a mythos with ravaging heroes and grotesque monsters narcissus is punished for being beautiful and solitary#and the moment he catches sight of his reflection in still water he is lost--gazing at himself#that which would not love him back.#wasting away until nothing but a gold flower remained#and that's what this is about#finding a stranger in your reflection#the self that does not love you#a curse for someone who was solitary#narcissus i hope the water was fathomless#i hope you found something worthwhile in yourself.
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it's hard to be a shipper
what ship is on your mind right now?
#like an idiot I looked unconsciously at my phone screen because I couldn't decide which ship I wanted to read fanfiction about on ao3#I recently fell into a zosan hole and I think I'll stay there a little bit longer#but there are also so many ships that I love with all my heart#and I don't know what to do anymore#so I'm still wasting my time jumping between websites with different ships because I don't know which one I want more now#zosan#shiguang#sakuatsu#tododeku#wolfstar#reonagi#andriel#bachisagi#rinsagi#akiangel#kunigiri#ryufuyu#bajifuyu#kazufuyu#itafushi#sukufushi#shin soukoku#soukoku#ranpoe#suegiku#inuokko#oisuga#daisuga#pynch#ahhhh I could count these ships forever and then I'm surprised that I can't decide on one
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Oh, it's just Tinkerbull writing MEOW.
Unlike Rose's lavender cipher, Tavros isn't authoring this sequence in his signature color. Instead, his code is Doc Scratch white - a bad omen, if I ever saw one.
AA: an incomplete fragment consisting of four symbols AA: comprising the first word of a binary refrain
A binary refrain, implying the existence of a TOCK Player. Does each code constitute half of MEOW, or has Doc Scratch's genome been spliced with something else entirely?
AA: a pair of sounds emerging from the belly of a fabled tyrants menace
That would be the crocodile from Peter Pupa Pan.
Come to think of it, The story of Hook's crocodile draws some possibly-unintentional parallels to Homestuck's current arc. In the movie, it constantly circled Hook like a buzzard, the ominous ticking in its belly serving as a constant reminder that he was living on borrowed time.
AA: but you authored only one sound of the pair AA: i would write the other
Breath and Time, T1ck and T0ck.
What have you got cooking, Team Charge?
AA: completing the phrase of legend AA: the persisting sounds said to accompany the ultimate demise of the tyrant less an arm and an eye
These legendary injuries again. Just like in the original story, it seems that Pupa’s Hook also dies to the ticking of a clock.
In the context of the comic, this might actually be a prophecy about the death one of our Hook cosplayers – namely, Slick, Jack and Vriska. Perhaps the real reason these injuries are so common is to ensure we can't tell who this prophecy's actually about. Tyrant currently suits Jack best, but a lot can happen in four thousand pages.
AA: but even these eight characters AA: the scrawlings of charge AA: were still but half the code
Charge provides half the code, and Scourge undoubtedly provides the other. The nascent Doc Scratch is composed of four sequences, supplied by the progenitors of this group's bloodiest conflict.
It seems this code was implanted in three Prospit dreamers, and only one Derse dreamer. Sgurb's mechanics are almost universally balanced by moon, so I find this a little odd.
Immediately after the cueball incident, Vriska subconsciously authors break.
What does Terezi get, then? R3P41R?
‘BR8K H34DS.’
Team Scourge is the story of a rigged coin, and a broken 8-ball.
#homestuck liveblog#full liveblog#act 5.2#3600#s139#we're making antimatter now. I'm finally able to turn off the fission reactor (which was a NIGHTMARE to fuel).#technically we still need its output#but now that i have an antimatter pellet I can feed it to my bees. they can create nuclear waste honey without all the fission rigmarole#so nice being able to un-forceload the chunks i was using to prepare fissile fuel
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hot take but we as a society need to be more comfortable about discussing "icky" parts of history, and even telling the side of the "bad guys"
hear me out
history is written by the victors, and will be heavily biased. The defeated will be painted as evil, deviants and/or like they have always been "the bad guys".
Reducing people to "the bad guys" does a huge disservice to the opportunity of learning from the past, because it creates a distance between the modern reader and the actual events, it creates the comfortable position of "I'm not like the bad guys, so i will never make their mistakes"
I think is important we understand how and why people believed in something, and where did things turn a certain way. Yes. Even "the wrong side". Even the nazis. Even those people you are thinking about, whoever they are.
Because you are not immune to propaganda and it's so so so so important to understand what happened and how did we get to those points before we fall to the same techniques again and again.
"Learning from the past" isn't deleting the ugly parts or cringing when someone brings up war. Thinking otherwise is a huge mistake and precisely what someone who wants to make the same mistakes wants you to think.
#rant#gil talks#not to get too real on main#but this comes from watching a funny haha video about vampire diaries#and the essayist wanted to discuss how the series treated certain parts of US history and sure it was bad#and i agreed with a lot of points#but the whole 'this character was a confederate soldier and eughhhh' cringing hard#honestly i would focus more on the wasted opportunity of discussing the guilt of fighting for the wrong side than eughh they portrayed this#idk man people sometimes chooses the wrong side?#same with twilight#which btw jasper acknowledges is was bad and he was young and impressionable and just wanted to be a soldier#still fandom is like OMG STEPHENIE MEYER HOW COULD YOU#bruh#yes. even your blorbos can be in 'the wrong side' and they are not evil incarnate
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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obviously this smell is ais ("cloaked in the scent of smoke and blood") which many people have already noticed
but do you guys think. ais was there when mc was there. do you think ais already saw mc's hands. that's why he didn't actually care to see them later at the seaspring but brought them up anyway as a means to intimidate mc?? because he already knows??
#i've seen ppl suggest ais was there BEFORE mc since he does help out at the clinic#but i dont think i've seen anyone say he could've helped with mc#his scent must be very strong and linger for a while if he was there BEFORE#which is why i wonder if he was there with mc. so his scent is still fresh#also--kuras says he found mc.#but what is kuras doing out there in the wastes?? kuras runs a very busy clinic#ais is out there in those wastes. ais could've found mc.#touchstarved game#hcs#( A SPARROW SINGS ) * my posts!
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I just realised that the hero society never found out the truth that the files held and lied about.
The world never found out that students did participate in the fight against shigaraki in the first war arc. That was robbed of them, the world never knew the truth and Iam somehow expected to think that mha society changed?!?!?!
#mha manga#mha critical#mha#bnha critical#bnha#bhna critical#horikoshi critical#did it really change if they dont know the truth#like do their parents even know?#i think this is an anime only scene#well the dialouge specifically used#which i still love this narration but dang so much wasted potential in it#hpsc critical#anti hpsc
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Life on the farm
#gopher art#mortal kombat#subscorp#mk subzero#mk scorpion#kuai liang#hanzo hasashi#mortal kombat legends#been holding onto this one for a bit! finished it more than a month ago lol#i was originally going to save it for subscorp week but then i was like. nah. that wouldnt be entirely fair lol#and besides. ive been wanting to share it for long enough and my resolve has kinda worn down#anyway - snowblind but AU'd! heres my concept of this (which i may use later on for something idk): king kano got his shit wrecked#like way before the events of the movie. by the revenants in fact. i want him torn to shreds. you still have random roving assholes#making trouble across the wastes. but its much less dire. kuai still retires to his farm. kenshi still falls for shang tsung's bullshit#and kuai mentors him. hanzo becomes warlord of netherrealm. BUT. he and kuai keep in contact. its long distance and they make it work#sometimes scorpion vacays to Kuai's farm. as a treat. thats what this drawing is#i cant deny that i literally just want them to be happy ok. thats literally all i want for these gay old ninjas#bonus commentary: at the time of drawing this i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw hanzo. he's so fucking hard to draw#when i draw him without his mask or beard he looks so fucking off. but if i draw him with the beard it feels weird too.#babygirl why are you so hard to draw?? dont you want me to draw you?????
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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jaheira please im trying to have a serious conversation
#my girl back there getting wasted#🤣#i FINALLY got to see the epilogue!!!!#but my comp is busted so i had to downgrade to my old pc which means poorer quality screenshots 😭#granted it is on my durge playthrough and she didn’t romance halsin but its still so sweet ❤️#it really felt like a missed connection type of reunion with halsin#like my durge is very happy with astarion but seeing halsin again definitely brought some unresolved feelings to the surface#she may have spent the party flirting and hugging halsin more than anyone else#i wish i had more characters at end game - i desperately need to see a romanced halsin ending with my druid#hopefully i can play more this weekend 🤞#halsin#halsin bg3#bg3#bg3 epilogue#jaheira#jaheira bg3
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i have a lot of thoughts about orym's character arc, seemingly resolved as it is, but most of them are really just my disappointment that the process felt so thoroughly disconnected from anyone in bh, except a little bit dorian at the very end. especially given that grief and self-sacrifice bordering on passive suicidal ideation are major parts of like. the majority of their characters.
#i guess the change could have been motivated by fcg's death and what happened to laudna but its very hard to say#when there's only really circumstantial evidence of that#and orym is still brushing off anyone except dorian and other liam pcs which. lol. lmao.#simply think it is a waste for a character in an ensemble cast to not develop in push and pull with the other characters but in isolation#self-enforced isolation that in turn draws focus from the ensemble#crposting
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Ed gets amnesia (Izzy-centric, pre s1 banishment, past edizzy to some degree)
It starts something like this: a rope left out after a raid, a captain showing off to the crew, a workload stretched too thin to have noticed the accident waiting to happen...
When Ed wakes, it's almost immediately clear something is wrong. He's lost a few years of memories- not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's enough that the man who lays in front of them is almost unrecognisable to the man they knew. He's from just at the point where he was starting to get frustrated with the 'ease' of being Blackbeard, tiring of his old life, but still so full of life and love in ways the present Ed forgot how to be.
He's a lot more on guard, for a start, waking up surrounded by strangers, even if they are treating him very nicely. He doesn't trust them, he doesn't even fake trusting them, just shuts them out completely.
Stede and Roach figure out what's going on pretty quickly and try to explain it to Ed after that, about what's happened and all the things he missed, but he doesn't believe them for a second- how could he? If he got hurt, Izzy would be there waiting for him to wake up. He always has been, always is, his predictable and reliable Izzy. He says as much to Roach and Stede, the only thing he will say, and they just... side-eye each other. They can't believe it- Izzy?
Anyway, Ed completely shuts down after that, so someone runs to get Izzy. Izzy, who had decided, after everything- especially the past few weeks on the revenge- that there's no way Ed would want him there. He's still lurking on deck because he can't stand not knowing how Ed is, but he knows that's not his place any more. So to say he's surprised when Stede comes and begrudgingly grabs him is an understatement- Stede doesn't tell him anything, obviously, just that Ed’s asking for him.
The way Ed’s face lights up as he walks into the room is a punch to the gut. There's a cheerful greeting, the kind he hasn't received in years, and Ed’s yapping on about what he's been told and what happened and "this ship, Iz!" and he's just... floored. He can't say anything in response, not even to confirm their story because this is Ed, this is his Ed, who's face is turning worried, joking about how it looks like Izzy’s the one with a head injury, and Izzy can't cope. He just... storms out of the room.
Izzy’s up on deck, and he's not even yelling, or working, or really doing anything, just aimlessly coiling ropes in a daze when Ed appears on deck after him. He's thrown his leather jacket over whatever of Stede’s clothes he was wearing, a return to his Blackbeard armour to be seen by crew, and he jogs up to Izzy and starts getting handsy with him, physically turning him to looking him in the eyes and check he's ok, just generally being casual in a way that nobodies ever seen them- a way that nobody expected Izzy to tolerate (but of course he does, its Ed).
Izzy'll stutter out a response and Ed will wrap his arm over his shoulder, casually, like that's a thing they do. He'll ask for a tour, for him to explain everything, like what's the deal with this Stede guy. He's still enamoured with The Revenge and all its bells and whistles, only now he wants it with Izzy. It's all 'Iz' and 'mate' and affectionate and a side of their relationship even the Queen Anne crew haven't seen in years, a complete shock to absolutely everyone except this Ed.
Ed shows Izzy the model of The Revenge again and Izzy is both heartbroken and so indulgent because that's the Ed he had once, and he's going to take every second while he can. Ed can show him every single trinket on the entire ship if he wants. Izzy's always been willing to indulge Ed to some degree (it's Izzy, after all) but there's usually external factors, like they're in the middle of a raid, storming a hostile ship, or being chased down by the Spanish without any plan and over the years Izzy’s taken to just trying to redirect Ed quickly rather than letting him get distracted with the next shiny thing. It's been a sticking point between them, Ed's distractions and Izzy's rigidity and inability to have fun even when the occasions fitting.
But, for all Izzy's gripes with The Revenge, he does know it's safe for them- or at least that he could take on any member of this useless crew who tried to take advantage of his captain's momentary incapacity. So he does, for once, feels safe to indulge Ed. And God, he wants to. He has wanted to. He wants to watch him forever, like he did when they were little more than kids. He wants to forget all the mistakes he made just to see Ed smile and light up at him one more fucking time. He's not going to throw away this opportunity, no matter how badly it hurts him in the end.
Ed's memories don't come back in a day or so, so the crew keeps getting these shows of their relationship in a way they've never seen before- all these casual touches, and the way he'll turn to Izzy before anyone else, even Izzy laughing a couple of times. The crew gets to see a completely different Izzy- one more like the man he'd have been on The Queen Anne, a man they can see means something to Ed. He's not just his rotten first mate, a necessary evil of Blackbeard, at some point it becomes very clear that Ed did like Izzy, that he chose to have him around. It's like being back when Ed and Izzy were on the same page, at the height of Blackbeard, their partnership, when things were GOOD.
And of course, Izzy’s going along with all this. He's not telling him anything about the way they're different now, about how they finished breaking their matelotage 6 months back, about how they've been living at arms length for years, about how this simply isn't who they are to each other any more. He couldn't possibly do that, not when he gets to live the best days of his life all over again, just for a few short days. Maybe he'll get a week or two, if he's really lucky.
It's hurting him, obviously, it feels like his heart is being ripped out every time Ed touches him, every time he corners him in the depths of the ship (still so untrusting of this unknown crew- not helped by how they treat Izzy. He sees the side eyes and cruel comments and notices in a way the present version of him never did, too wrapped up in Stede and the madness of this ship) but hey. Izzy’s a masochist. He'll take anything Ed gives him, and he'll especially take this opportunity to have one last taste of what he's lost.
At the time it faded so slowly he didn't realise he was losing it until it was all gone, but he won't make that mistake this time. He knows their time together is limited, and he's going to take every fucking second he can and hold it close forever. If Ed makes him leave after he remembers? After he realises the way Izzy took advantage of him? It's worth it, to have this again, one last time.
#this is probably somewhere between too fleshed out and not fleshed out enough. yet somehow still not the right amount of substance#but i didnt want to waste another month making the additional thoughts ive had on this idea flow w the rest so this is what you get#perhaps ill come back and add my (mostly eds perspective on all of this) thoughts in at some point. who knows#if you want a vibe as to where that goes ; huge inspirations in this concept draw upon the lyrics#'But I hate when I feel like this / And I never hated you' :'''''')#(lyrics from poke by frightened rabbit which is your edizzy song recc of the week)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#post dedicated to my dearest sage for bouncing this concept with me !!! i love u SO much
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I know I have plenty of time to grow as a person but i still sometimes want to scream at the top of my lungs over how bad covid fucked me up mentally at a very inopportune time in my life
#i was 18 when it hit and i still feel like im stuck. like i was already going thru it and it took the remaining wind right out of my sails#and ive reached a point where just trying to keep myself alive isnt enough and my mom is mad at me for not being motivated enough#which is partially my fault but. i dunno man#i didnt ask to be alive. its hard#i still feel like i was supposed to have died as a teenager and im just wasting resources by keeping myself alive
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What is with the practically psychotic hate for Lance Stroll? I'm not even his fan- more indifferent- but the hate he gets is sickening. Like just see the recent 'Never have I ever' vid- so many top comments on youtube, instagram etc. are just spouting shit about him (attacking his looks, calling him window licker wtf etc.) based off the 'Never have I ever stood up someone question' (and of course they conveniently ignore all the other drivers that also said they have because it's trendy to hate on Stroll).
Of course, standing up someone sucks but first of all we have no context at all, and more importantly, it's clear the commenters don't actl give a shit about that because they're only hating on Stroll. This is literally just one instance of the way these F1 'fans' are so quick to seize any opportunity to put down Lance. Honestly, it's so off-putting, pathetic and sad.
#he's not even one of my faves but the hate in the f1 fanbase for this 25 year old is crazy#don't give me the 'his daddy bought the team!! he's so shitty!!'#he may not be the best driver but he's still a good driver#he got a podium in his rookie year for goodness sake#also one of the youngest polesitter#yes he was blessed with a rich family but god forbid a father loves his child and would do anything for him#he's usually good in the wet/mixed conditions too#but if you listened to ppl on social media you would think lance can't even walk in a straight line#im so done lol the f1 fanbase is so toxic#esp those on twitter/insta#honestly I doubt those type of 'fans' actl watch the races#they just do monkey see monkey do#and hate on a fucking mid-20s dude 💀#their lives must be incredibly sad to waste time spreading hate like that#lance stroll#f1 2024#honestly this isn't even about the never have I ever vid#it's more about the general and practically fervent hate ppl have for lance#which is so overboard#lance puts in the effort everyday but these ppl will have you believe he sits arnd throwing moneg everyday#this is the man who drove despite his hand injury last year for goodness' sake#the way some ppl talk about him will have you thinking he murdered their family#also he's just thr to drive??? idk why ppl go all up in arms to hate on everything he does from his looks to how he talks...#and in general the hate various drivers get is so weird#*money#<- too lazy to edit my tags lol
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a luxury I really appreciate having with 911 right now is TIME. like we don't need buddie canon immediately. I don't need eddie to realise his feelings next episode or bucktommy to speed run a whole relationship arc. we can take our time having their individual stories or relationships be on the back burner whilst the focus is on other characters, we can let things grow and develop in a steady healthy way, we can even have a season finale that leaves things open for more next season. I'm soo excited for this season but I'm just not feeling any urgency for what's next, I've never been happier just vibing and trusting the writers
#i do think there's a chance of buddie canon this season#i also think there could be definitive buddie progress this season and canon next season#i also think there's still a chance they won't go canon which would be wasted potential but i wouldn't be MAD at#regardless i'm having fun i'm so content with it all#talking#911#911 spoilers
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