#which is rich coming from me when I remember how my friends were in HS and how insane we were. are. were and are. hmm. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bisluthq · 3 years ago

Note

this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

#agony aunat

2 notes · View notes

wisteria-lodge · 4 years ago

Text

a thank you from an unburning lion secondary, with faulty bird model

I’m the lion primary who was doubting itself and who talked their way in your anon box to understanding themselves. You were pretty comprehensive and it was nice to really notice we share primaries xD One thing shocked me and left me O_O was at the end, when I left that commentary about bullies (my school knew me both for my excellent notes and my fights both bcs i couldnt left a situation alone) and you said, wow and a lion secondary.

i was shocked. Like I say this and I remember my earlier years and the problems I’ve always have talking with people and it’s my bluntness and lack of attention to others feelings which had always have my mother scolding me after going out with her or talking with friends or telling her about any interaction. Same with my father. And then I stopped. I started reading, I fell for fanfiction and manga, and lost my childhood friends bcs I coudn’t relate to them, and during all of HS until my second year of university I was so so alone.

And I didn’t speak out about my feels. I still don’t. Not to my family not to anybody. I felt so guilty, because once upon a time I did whatever I felt and then I learnt that being so intelligent, and open about my feelings and my life was unsensible to people, and then I learnt (justly so I think) that I shoudn’t act without thinking about others.

But I feel somewhere in the way, I started feeling guilty of being myself. I learnt I’m too much for people. Now I over-analyze every interaction I have; have i overshared anything? Did i let the other talk and express themselves? I do it before taking charge in a group assignment or outing bcs I internalised that they don’t want it, that I’m being annoying reminding them of the tasks or the things we should be doing.

You need to sweet-talk people, and I’m bad at it and although sometimes it can be funny most often is just plain tiring. And I’m the first surprised when someone is direct about anything. I like so much, so much learning about things, I feel deep inside the correct way of approaching problems should be to consider them from every angle, analyze the facts and the feelings they provoke and then come up with a good solution; I write and I want to investigate everything before starting any story but I’m completely unable to do so. Same with my studies, same with people.

And then I wing it and it results so much better and it’s frustrating. People say: you’re so good at this, you must study/dedicate so much time to it. And I just do enough to get an intuitive understanding of the concept and then improvise, and I feel like a fake.

When I have time and I’m methodical, it’s satisfying (better for memorising and studying languages too) but the truth is that I function better when I hit the ground running. I think this society doesn’t like lion secondaries very much unless you’re a shit man. Then is suddenly comprehensible if not appreciated. So I picked a faulty model bird because it’s useful, right? And i like it from time to time.

But I feel like the idea people have of me, about how I act is all bird and it’s stiffling but I let myself go and don’t act in my feels or my thougths because there no reason at all to be myself and I watch myself writing this and wow. Suddenly my mother is telling me why am i not as outgoing as when i was young or my new friends are surprised because my personality changes. Like an onion: outwardly I don’t care about anything, then you discover I’m very intense about lots of things but very nonchalantly (I left clues and you have to pick them, bcs I’m not verbalising you know?), then you never know what I feel about those things except for whatever observation you’ve made. You just know the loudness. My mother tells me I never talk to her about myself, but still she knows how to pick what I feel about people and situations bcs I’m that obvious I guess.

But she was who taught me to think twice bcs nobody wants to feel stupid or wronged (neither do I, I understand). My father never liked who I was; why wasnt I more social, more normal, why did I have to be so strange so openly. (It’s mostly I’m half-sure I fall somewhere in the lower gifted range + maybe some neurodivergence, but in my country they don’t adapt nor care for above average students and a test sounds ridiculous and attention seeking and too expensive when I do fine right now.)

Can’t deny the lion, but I never talk. Except on internet anonymously. Bcs contradictions are funny and you’re really kind. Again, about the start of this megapost. It was so surprising when you saw directly through that ask to the secondary, that I teared up. Yes, yes, that’s who I am why hasn’t anybody told me it’s ok to be sincere and direct? Why?

I was toying with bird and snake but those are covers. Trying to perform snake when I’m uncomfortable or I haven’t got familiarity with the people and bcs it’s improvising it’s easier, and model bird when I can with all knowledge I don’t even notice I have aquired reading what amounts to tons of wish-fulfilling fantasies. Like. It’s posible to burn a secondary? Bcs I think that’s what’s happened to me. And I’m trying little by little to recover that trust in my actions because I know I’m better that way, that I feel good being direct about things but I’m so afraid of others… Perseverance though!!!

This sorting system has helped me see that, more than astrology. Mostly, these last years i had a wrong feeling about myself. I think this helped articulate why. This so maudlin omg xD But you received well my semi-creepy murderous self-isolating primary post so. Sorry again, and thank you.

PS: love to anybody who has ever felt like me. Also, mom is def a badger primary, now that i think about it. She really, really likes working with people, meeting with friends, helping them etc. ended up teaching yoga. She is super direct too, so maybe we share the secondary... which is rich, but also why I think she is also strict that sense. Thinking she doesn't want to see me suffering like her + why i frustrate her when i retreat into myself too. good old projection. THE END XD

My dear Lion ~

You sound like me. And yes, you will be “too much” for some people. But I promise you. There will be others who love you for exactly that intensity. Putting masses of planning and up-front effort into something doesn’t make the end result any better. I’m a badger secondary, that was a tough realization to have. And it’s okay to be afraid. But you seem on top of this. You’re going to be okay.

(also, your English is fantastic. Really, really nice use of the word “maudlin.”)

Good hunting ~ WL

#sortinghatchats #im not sure what to do with these #thank you letter #id answer privately #but with anon of course you can't do that #anyway #lion primary #lion secondary #burnt lion secondary #bird model

25 notes · View notes

bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

Text

Bloggin’ bout HS^2 Commentary from start to Mid-Jan-2020

Sigh. Time to pay the piper. Someone’s gotta extract whatever plot-important and plothole mentions get mentioned in this commentary, even though reading behind-the-scenes stuff about Homestuck makes me even more nervous than reading frontend stuff ever could so I don’t really want to. FYI, that’s what you’re going to get out of my posts on these -- anything regarding plot stuff and plotholes, things we would’ve misinterpreted or missed otherwise, not any of the other paid content such as sketches or full quotes from them about things.

TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH!???!?? Is Andrew even seeing any of this cash? --no, not much of it I guess, he would want to make sure the WP folks get paid enough after the--

Yeah I’m not gonna even think about that.

Fuck it. I’m ponying up.

Alright, first commentary post on the Patreon, commentary and bonus sketches for Ghostflusters... whoa, this is long and extensive. Is it going panel by panel??

I guess I’ll give you a small quote just for a taste of how this starts...

Page 33: Not sure what any of this shit means. It’s pretty deep though. We were going for an echo of the beginning of the epilogue when John is dreaming in anime. Except here it’s Jake, and nobody is dreaming, at least not yet. Also an anime dream wouldn’t be a nightmare for Jake, since Jake likes anime. Or he used to. Now anime probably just reminds him of Dirk.

Good thing we’re never gonna hear from that guy ever again.

...because this commentary is sort of stylized. They’re kind of riffing on what they’re doing, and I get that -- when you have to write commentary you’re asking people to PAY for you can easily feel like you have to be entertaining. But they are describing the rationale for the shot choices they made and such. They’re also going for a sort of Andrew-recap sort of attitude, and I don’t blame them for that choice, either.

[Candy] Jade is...well, you’ll see.

GOD DAMNIT. Don’t remind me that Dave vanished on her forever while they were doing pro-revolutionary work and she’s probably going to be in a bit of a state! Stupid knowing author future allusions...

Then again, that’s exactly why I’m here blogging about the commentary for you guys -- for me to relay Authorial Intent on Stuff That Happened That Seemed Plotholey and Hints About What’s Going To Be Relevant.

I just, uh... didn’t expect there to be that MUCH of it. And that casual phrasing for that Candy Jade Is Going To Be Seen And Or Relevant hint is... kinda indicating to me that there’s gonna be a LOT more of that here than I wanted. :|

Continuing... there’s talk of why they started with Jake here, being unused to writing for middle-aged characters in Homestuck terms, et cetera, but again, I’m only here to relay anything with plot impact or SERIOUS perspective on how we should / the authors are viewing this. The rest stays behind the paywall for whichever of you all think it’s worth $20, I don’t really have a choice. At least now I know why there was no one to tell me what details were actually BEHIND the paywall. Seriously, that’s steep.

Speaking of how stylized the commentary is here, I can get why some might read it and view the authors as slightly callous -- I’m giving them PLENTY of benefit of the doubt, though. Andrew was FAR from callous and he hurt us worse out of love of artistic intent with the Epilogues than the HS^2 folks could EVER hurt us. Real Dirk-like, actually. Dirk is practically half of a self-insert, as we well know. No wonder Andrew thought the right thing to do was to take his hands off the story, what with Dirk’s villainous action being putting his own hands ON the story.

We like to make fun of Jake English as much as the next guy, but he probably is actually pretty good at “doing things” if the need arises.

Mhmm; there are some jibes at how screwed up Jake has made his life, but I don’t believe these authors actually disrespect Jake at all. He was dealt a bad hand by the story leading up to this point (quite INTENTIONALLY by Dirk’s narrative control in the Epilogues, too) and HS^2 and its bonuses so far have been exploring the heap of merits and potential he’s still got in him.

It’s kind of sweet how he wants to clean out his ecto-son’s house, even if most of that is to prevent the slow creep of mounting existential dread and narrative relevance.

Huh. So they think Jake can sort of feel that narrative relevance is seeping in around him, to him? That’s not out of the question at all.

Continuing... they’re going on a bit about the same sort of things I mentioned about their choices in detail or detail-less-ness when depicting people in this new format, considering ages and the paired text descriptions and such. That’s the sort of thing you’d traditionally want to pony up for commentary for, so rest assured that all that IS in their commentary posts if you want to do that. I’m kind of extracting the plot stuff out of the paywall just on principle.

A lot of making this comic--and every other comic ever--is trying to convey as much information with as little space as possible.

Quite so.

From this conversation we find out a couple things. 1) that Brain Ghost Dirk knows about Ultimate Dirk, and he thinks he’s a dickhead. 2) Brain Ghost Dirk knows who Jeff Bezos is, and Jake doesn’t. This could be a sign of a couple things, all of which are probably stupid.

This is ALSO what I came here for: Legitimate “don’t worry about it” handwaves about stuff that shouldn’t matter to us. I never ascribed the slightest bit of relevance or inference to BGDirk making a Jeff Bezos reference, and I’m glad I was completely justified in ignoring it. So far I agree with this probably-plural-but-acting-like-a-singular author’s train of thought.

Come to think of it, it’s maybe strange that in this Cool Future Earth where all of our characters are rich as hell, none of them have bothered to have any sort of corrective eye surgery. Jane, Jake, John, and Jade all still wear glasses. I guess they do have “signature looks” to maintain in regards to their brand.

I had to include this, I was legitimately curious. Understood it was probably an artistic decision to stay on-brand a fair bit -- and losing glasses even temporarily has a lot of thematic significance whenever it happens in Homestuck Proper -- but it’s nice to have some confirmation that this was the understandable rationale behind the choice.

Here we find out what Dirk thinks about Jake’s behavior of the last few years. In other words, we find out what Jake thinks about Jake’s behavior over the last few years. [...]

[Brain Ghost] Dirk is manipulating Jake here, but he isn’t actually saying anything demonstrably untrue.

Again, most of this was obvious at the time, but it’s nice to have authorial confirmation on what was being brought across as per the strange divide between Brain Ghost Dirk’s independent will and his mostly-part-of-Jake status.

Seriously though, shoutout to the conceit that god tiers can just fly endlessly, with no visible effort. It’s a really excellent form of narrative shortcut that fits perfectly into the bonkers vibe of earth c as a whole. Oh there goes one of the Creators, just flying over the Wal-Mart like an asshole.

You know... who IS doing the commentary here? One of the authors, all of them? One of the artists?? This really is a COLLABORATIVE effort between the authors and artists involved here, I think, and it shows in their clear surprise and appreciation for each others’ work that only settles into a full understanding instead of just knowing what one intended off the bat.

It calls into question exactly how much of the Condesce’s mind control was actually mind control at all, and how much was just a lowering of inhibitions.

Right, right.

We see Jane greeting Jake here with open arms, which makes you wonder exactly what is going on here. If you’ll remember from Candy, Jane has already served Jake divorce papers. A mystery in need of solving, for sure.

HERE we go! This is the potential plothole we were concerned about that got me alerted that the commentary had something to add in the first place. John mentioned toward the trail-end of the Candy epilogues that divorce papers had shown up for Jake. (And we also saw an HS^2 update ago or so that Jane hadn’t actually KNOWN Tavros was “awol” at all until he was literally a part of this whole clowncorpse logistics business.) So in light of what this post continues to say:

It could be that Jane has put aside the nasty business of their divorce in order to have a strong chest to cry on. Can’t really say I blame her. Jake English has many flaws but he does seem like a good person to drape yourself across and really let loose on. And without Gamzee there, Jane needs another punching bag.

...it all finally fits as pretty logically consistent, although the author is being deliberately coy in a way that leaves it open for more to be revealed later about exactly how this is happening. Good! No obvious plotholes in HS^2 (yet). That’s an honest relief. The more often they have something in mind where I’d previously worried they’d screwed up, the more often I can give them credit and speculate properly on those gaps in story-logic expecting something there, like we so often got to with Andrew before the retconsplit made even THAT kinda fucky.

If you’ve ever had a friend or family member go evil, you’ll know that one of the hardest parts is there’s always still elements of them that you like.

I can definitely say that from nearly personal experience.

Also, at this point in the story there is no lingering doubt that Jake and Dirk have had a sexual relationship. There’s a familiarity there that wasn’t around when they were teens.

I assumed so, but I guess I never thought ABOUT how I assumed so. Huh.

Do any of the creators have a moral leg to stand on if all they’re doing is curling up into a ball and hoping the world gets better without them? Actually, does anyone have a moral leg to stand on if they do that?

Almost Riddley, there.

These posts are certainly interesting! Steeply priced for what they are, but interesting. Moving on to the second of four so far... this one’s about Catnapped Part 1.

Taking over Earth C's business world certainly would have required rubbing shoulders with the already-powerful on the planet.

--yep, which I never doubted even when brought up in the Epilogues is a large part of her supply-side government views.

Ah, looks like the bonus commentary is a good deal shorter! But that bonus section was a good deal shorter than the story section covered earlier too, so.

On to the next one, for Clown Logistics.

Page 58: If you love Vriskas, i hope you enjoy more Vriska content. If you hate Vriskas, well. Here is another one that is kind of different. Feel free to contemplate nature vs nurture and how best to apply this dichotomy toward emoting about the vriskas of your choice how you see fit.

I’m starting to really enjoy this author commentary.

Tavros being named Tavros sure was a decision. Go back and reread the commentary for panel 58 but stop before the nature/nurture thing, since they are not clones, or even the same species. They just have the same name, which, in this universe, means you at least type kind of the same.

Hmhmm.

Page 65: Sometimes you try and come up with something to say about a page, and you cannot, and so you wait 8 hours, and go see Knives Out, and then you have 2 white russians, and then you still can’t come up with anything to say, but oh well! Commentary needs writing. Tavros is experiencing an emotion here.

Now THAT’s a mood. I gotta go see Knives Out sometime soon.

...Alright, I can see why some people think MAAAAYBE this author might be being a little disrespectful to the audience, but if they’re going based on THIS, I don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. This comment could have come from Andrew’s fingertips any day of the week!!! I honestly wouldn’t WANT replacement authors who couldn’ comment like this in there for a page in paid commentary, especially in a lighter section of the story that doesn't need too much said about it.

And I paid $20 for this shit.

...Continuing, I’m loving all this commentary on Harry Anderson. Representative excerpt:

Again, direct your eyes toward the boy. What a fucking asshole.

...these commentaries are honestly improving my mood! I didn’t expect that, really.

Ah, I didn’t even notice that the flying cars appear to be self-driving. I think maybe the back of my mind MIGHT have noticed but only a bit.

Referring to the corpse-carry crew:

Page 82: Pokedex entry for Magneton in Pokemon Sun: When three Magnemite link together, their brains also become one. They do not become three times more intelligent.

Ain’t THAT a mood.

(...I just had an internal “Wait, am I using that right, it being a “mood”? Isn’t that the hip new term, how do I have any right to latch onto that however much I feel it? Ohhh gosh I’m so fucking old” moment.)

It’s clear from the commentator’s complaints that the crew never viewed this commentary ALONE as worth upping the pledge to $20, but that’s... not quite a bad thing? I think it’d have been more disrespectful to think that they COULD make the commentary worth that. I doubt there’s a single person on their team who feels quite right about the business model (besides the artists they have plenty of context to know how deserving they are of a living goddamn wage), but it’s what they have to live with and go with, here. I feel weird for honestly understanding ‘em, and more than slightly pitying for how many people will look at all this and read “these assholes don’t care about us”. I really can’t think that’s anywhere CLOSE to true from this without more context. (And I really DON’T want more context, don’t send me any. I’ve got to read HS^2 and I’m enjoying reading it so far so let me keep enjoying it please. Background drama details make me nauseous, DON’T give me any if there is any (which I wouldn’t know about in the first place beyond an opinionated friend or two dropping hints in a bad mood).)

Did you know there are people who I’ve seen honestly believing “Undertale is pretty good but the creator is an arrogant asshole”?????

Because they saw his tweet about the game score passing Kojima’s MGSV on metacritic briefly and misinterpreted his wide-eyed disbelief, disbelief honed to nervous laughter to maintain sanity by Toby’s insecurity about his unprofessional work and work product??? They thought he was SERIOUS without any of the context of the usual insincere little dog persona they should’ve read into the game of his they played??

Awh man. That just ticks me off.

Anyway where were we.

Page 91: This is a flashback so I didn’t write this one, which means I thankfully don’t have to say anything about it.

Wait. What?

Are they trading off writers between chapters, or...? Hm.

Whatever they’re doing, it fits together pretty darn well SO far.

Alright, that finishes that off, time for the last commentary post on the second bonus update.

I don't know if you noticed, but everything is terrible right now. And I don't mean just in Homestuck's dumb fake earth. I mean in our dumb real earth.

Now that’s a mood.

I've been playing a lot of Death Stranding recently. Basically any media that you're making in 2019 has to either address what's going on around us or come off sanitized, sterilized, with its head in the sand. Kojima offers a simple power fantasy: Through Norman Reedus's sweaty, urine-filled labor, the things that divide us can be banished. America can be unified again.

Now THAT is a god damned MOOD.

The author(?) goes in about why this is happening, why Jane is being confronted this way, why she IS this way, et cetera.

Privilege, safety, and inherited wealth do funny things to the brain. People justify to themselves why they have what they have. If you have enough for long enough, you start to convince yourself you deserve it.

That’s one of the biggest goddamn reasons for the inequality and political landscape we have today IRL, yeah.

She saw a new world and chose, simply, to replicate the power structures of the 21st-century America she was raised in. Boardrooms, power pantsuits, formality and professionalism.

Jane's favorite comic, a noir-detective drama steeped in the pop-cultural trappings of pulp Americana, reflects this mindset.

So, our catgirl Seer of Light takes us through the looking glass, and we get to see an old friend.

Hm!

Nothing really to say, I just had to share this fitting context the author is giving. How things fit together even better than they seemed to, and this was all far from random.

I feel warmly ensconced in the womb of nostalgia, gently cradled on Norman Reedus's chest.

Pffffffff

Yep, more of what we already surmised and appreciated, how Swifer and Cliper were giving us some much needed perspective... the commentary post even has little traditional-Homestuck sprites for ‘em.

And... that’s it for the commentary so far! Again, I enjoyed all that more than I expected. $20 doesn’t sting for me as much as it does for others in general, but it stung a lot less after I was through reading all that honestly somewhat-entertaining stuff confirming a lot of the insights I’d thought the plot was having.

I’ll probably wait to check for further commentary posts until like... after bonus updates come out, in the future, and then just blog about whatever I’m not caught up on. Sound fair? I’m going to blog as often as a real or bonus upd8 comes out, but I’m not going to pop in more often than that for my own sanity’s sake. Have a good MLK weekend, y’all. :)

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #Homestuck Commentary #blastyoboots

32 notes · View notes

thestuckylibrary · 5 years ago

Text

Group Ask 148

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

sorry if this i kinda general but do you know the fic where steve has a pool in his house and he has sex with bucky in it (bucky is a mermaid), searched for mermaids on ao3 and couldn't find it

Anon 2 said:

hiya! i’m looking for a fic where bucky likes cooking and feeding steve and steve starts to get a belly and bucky loves it

Anon 3 said:

Do u happen to know an au where they reunite after dating in hs and they’re sleeping on Steve’s living room floor together for a little while and also Steve is rich I think and there’s a scene where they go shopping ? I can’t remember what it’s from

statistical-nightmare said:

I am looking for an AU where Steve is an artist. Bucky leaves him (?) and Steve paints an enormous painting of a heart, half realistic, half mechanical, and Bucky comes in to the gallery to look at because he is sure Steve won’t take him back and it’s a way of feeling close to him.

dolphinqueen10 and Anon sent in Escort Me To The Gates Of Hell* by GraduateGraduWait (GraduateGraduate) (complete | 47,889 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 4 said:

Hello, i lost this fic, and it's about bucky having a hard time healing and then steve takes the upper hand and ties him to a chair or smth and this fic is soo top!steve and he sits on Bucky's lap and starts manhandling bucky into breathing evenly and coming back from the dark places his mind is taking him to. And it's a very emotional fic. I have checked several of the tags you have and im not even sure if i got it from ur site , that's why it's harder for me to find it. Plz help me tysm!!

dolphinqueen10 sent in Into My Heart You Whispered* by sirsable (oneshot | 6,290 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 5 said:

I’m looking for a smut where steve and bucky have phone sex and nat and tony are listening in. thank you

lilyinthesnow and Anon sent in Hands-Free by OhCaptainMyCaptain (oneshot | 13,961 | E)

andyouknowitis said:

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me locate a Stucky fic I lost from my Ao3 history. The plot involved a modern AU where Steve works in the London office of Stark Tower and Bucky is his new assistant. Steve hates his job and they don't get along initially. I tried searching several tags and can't find it so am reaching out to some blogs for help. Thank you.

ofthemoonsunandstars said:

There’s a fic i read and i can’t remember the name. Everyone thought Bucky was Cap and he never corrected them. They find Steve at the end of the fic. The rest of the Avengers are friends with Bucky and at the end of the fic Clint says something like “I thought your name was Steve?” And Bucky replies “no one ever asked and i just never corrected you”

sergeantbucky-barnes and autonomygirl sent in Seven times Steve Rogers was not what everyone expected him to be (+1 time he really, really wasn't what everyone expected him to be) by StuckySituation (complete | 3,515 | T)

bulgarski said:

Hey I'm hoping you can help me find a fic. In it each chapter was Bucky reading a historical nonfiction about himself. Some of them were about / speculation of his relationship with Steve. Thanks!

Anon 6 said:

Hi! I'm looking for an specific fanfic I've read a long time ago and pretty sure it was Stucky. Basically, it was set after CATWS and Bucky and Steve were out somewhere in public and then this kid came up to Bucky (I don't remember much about it) and then Bucky was shocked that the kid wasn't scared of him or something.

Anon 7 said:

do u know of a fic where steve comes out at the beginning with a heartfelt message on twitter? sry if that’s not very specific, can’t remember anything else!:) thank u

Anon 8 said:

i've been looking for this fic forever, its a shrunkyclunks fic . bucky knows nat and one day her and all the avengers come and hideout in bucky's apartment. that's all i can remember!

Anon 9 said:

Hi! I need some help finding a fic please! It’s after TWS, Bucky wants to wipe out all the hydra bases that have the chairs. He wears headphones when he takes down a hydra base to avoid trigger words, locks the hydra people in a closet and carves “assholes” on the door. At one point he travels by ship to avoid detection and recalls going to war and how soldiers back then had some time b/w the war and home whereas now it’s like one minute you’re on the battlefield and the next in a supermarket

generalbailiffprofessordeputy said:

Hey there, I read an awesome fluff fic about a year ago where Steve and Bucky share an apartment and struggle with each having feelings for one another but neither wanting to admit it. At one point the cuddle on the couch and watch Star Trek until they fall asleep. Searched with tags and nada! Thanks in advance for your help :)

Anon 10 said:

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic? steve & bucky were in the military together (bucky actually saved steve's life) but now their back in the us and life hasn't treated bucky so kind and he's homeless and there is like this therapy center that steve works at? and he helps get bucky on his feet again but this falls in love with him while still being with sharon.

#group asks

45 notes · View notes

delicateheartd · 5 years ago

Text

╰ ♡ MUSE 68, KRISTINE FROSETH, CISFEMALE ┊ have you seen VANESSA "NESSA" QUINN-MILLS around hillston? the 20 year old is said to be an COMPUTER TECH. the neighbours would say that they’re STRONG-WILLED and INDEPENDENT, but they’re actually LAID-BACK and OUTGOING. SHE often reminds people of the sound of typing, soft smiles, telling someone is passionate just by hearing her talk about it. all the latest and coolest technology. watch out, though. you wouldn’t believe that SHE’S A SKILLED HACKER. AND TAKES FROM THE RICH AND GIVES TO THOSE WHO NEED MONEY. ( r, 20, est, she/her )

nessa is my soft, girl and a sweet bean ! unsurprisingly most of my kids are. and i am so excited to play her again ?? i have missed this darling so much.

she’s always been into tech and into all the newest and coolest tech. and gadgets. almost like a kid in a candy store when it comes to tech it’s her candy ! if you will. she’s the kind of person you’d go to if you had a problem with tech or maybe anything with it.

likely also as inspo you could put her in front of snapchat and within a few seconds she’d be doing and accessing parts of it that you didn’t even know where a thing. or that you didn’t even know you could do. because that’s literally just her in a nutshell, even when it comes to even the newest devices that she’s never even played with.

she’s working as a computer tech, literally an it guy but it girl if you will. she’s extremely passionate and loves her line of work. graduated as a valedictorian in hs and likely one again in college. always got straight a’s and likely top of her class for real because she’s just really smart when it comes to things.

i feel like she started hacking into small things like her high school just to see the grades of other students or something like that. then eventually she got more serious, and learned to cover her tracks. is very good at it. almost too good if you will.

since then she’s sort of become like robin hood, taking from those that have too much money. and giving to those in need. maybe ; she sees something online and the next day that person has a few thousand in their account courtesy of her. she doesn’t do it to get anything in return ( as it’s likely anonymous anyway and untraceable ) but because she likes helping people. people who deserve it and this is the way she knows she can. that’s kind of quick and easy enough for her.

this is not something she shares and nobody would likely know, nobody would believe her anyway. she comes off as too sweet and too caring to be into something like hacking. if only people knew, that she’s practically robin hood.

she’s also a skilled pianist but hasn’t played in awhile, it used to be something that she was also passionate about but tech became a first priority in life and now other things.

vanessa is strong willed the kind of person you couldn’t talk into doing something she didn’t want to, she’s very much so her ‘own person’ and i feel that’s how people would describe her, and all in all is very true. someone who also has a good head on her shoulders, has always had good grades and maybe even voted ? the one person in life that will go the furthest and do the most.

she is very much a people person likely out of my three the most people person. and who actually likes talking to people/doesn’t act guarded around them. which is good ! because as a computer tech she does help others and is around people quite a bit.

nessa was dropped off at a fire station shortly after she had been born, and no questions were asked as that’s how it goes. she bounced around from foster home to foster home until she was around two or three when the quinn-mills found her and later adopted her. she doesn’t really remember that time as she was so young. she never dug or searched for her birth parents. yes it often lingered in the back of her mind why, but she’s thankful for all that she’s got. all she truly knows is that she was dropped off by her mother at a fire station, and that’s it. she hopes later down the road to adopt a child of her own.

plot wise ; stuff i’d love for her ! and feel free to im or message me on discord.

best friends ! it’s always a must for my kids.

a squad of girls around her age or close to, like this gif set. and they could just be super close and i’d love that.

a flirtationship, they just flirt, it could be nothing serious and just for fun. but all in all could be a lot of fun ?? maybe they are even interested in each other, and can be discussed ! but eyes emoji

someone she can talk to about tech !

maybe someone she helps out with tech, or has repaired stuff for them previously ! i’d even be game for her like putting them together a laptop or phone ( from the ground up and parts. etc and everything )

friends with benefits eyes emoji, ( given she hacks and people don’t think she could do that either, this would be fun too ) maybe they say it’s to help relieve stress SJSJ i don’t know i’m sure we could come up with something !

literally anything hit me ! with your wcs nessa and i are all ears.

#hillston.intro

8 notes · View notes

irregardlessly-tish · 5 years ago

Text

Boy, oh boy I had another weird ass dream but this time it was HxH related and not snk. It was me watching supposedly new episodes of the anime that weren't following the manga and let me tell you, they were SO fucking bad that I constantly had this feeling of "no, this isn't real. They wouldnt do this shit. This hs to be a dream like theres no way?????” And would try to wake myself up because it felt way too real but also what I was watching wouldn’t be true. I would actually check my surroundings, my room and house but it felt so fucking real, everything was in place, my family was there doing their every day shit, the only weird ass surrealist shit was this new hxh ova so at some point I gave up and was like WELL I GUESS THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING until I couldn't handle how bad it was and tried to wake myself up again, this time I tried to write something but i couldnt actually write anything readable so that finally made me realize I was dreaming and that shit was so fucking relieving. You don’t get it, I was so fucking disappointed thinking that they actually did that shit to HxH... and now I’ll tell you what I saw

This new ovas started innocently enough with Killua and Alluka who had apparetly already explored a good part of the world and Killua decided that there was one place that was pretty special to him that he wanted his sister to see: Greed Island. For some reason Gon was suddenly there with them in their journey, they didn’t explain when or how he joined but I assumed it wasn’t important, it was just a time-skip and that detail didn’t matter (even tho I think that Gon reuniting with his best friend is a very important point we all would like to see). The plot got weirder when they just went there like on a plane? As if Greed Island were a physical place everyone could just go to and not a pretty exclusive game with hard access. That really annoyed me, the fact that they didn’t mention it being a game and that the only way they got to play it was by being hired by a rich man who had hired a lot of people just to have them win, like it wasn’t as if they had just gone there all willy-nilly, you know? Anyway, it just gets so much worse. Once they are in “Greed Island” Alluka just isn’t there anymore and no one fucking mentions it, which was infurating because the point was to show her that place. Killua and Gon are just there talking like “remember that one time we did all that stuff and then met Bisky blah blah” until a lady with extremely pronounced bosoms shows up and insists that she has to be with them (also her outfit didn’t leave a lot to the imagination so seeing this kind of fanservice in HxH pissed me off even more, it didn’t feel like HxH at all), Killua was like begone, thot and just wanted to run away from this creepy lady but she told them that every player (because suddenly it was a game again) had to be accompanied by one of them (there were multiple thots), she was like a guide for players and must be around them all the fucking time while making cute and provocative poses and noises and other fanservice shit. They tried to explained that they didn’t need (nor want) that because that’s not their first time there, they don’t need a guide but she couldn’t help that, it was just an update to the game and it wasn’t like she could decide what to do. They tried just to ignore her from that point on. They started to explore a forest and came across the 99′s versions of themselves which really fucked me up and of course them as well. At first, Gon and Killua thought this was some sort of trap, as if they were in a forest of illusions, you know? The guide lady didn’t explain shit. Somehow they came to the conclusion that their timelines had crossed or it was as if 2011 versions had gone to the past where the oldest versions of themselves were playing the game of the first time even though this version of the game had updates and shit they didn’t experience at that time. They argued a bit but this encounter didn’t matter a whole lot because then out of nowhere a fucking clown with light blue hair appeared and started being all creepy about Gon, it was 99s Hisoka in his first season look. Apparently this Gon could fully use nen again because Hisoka was babbling about how much powerful he was compared to the other Gon, which made the past counterparts a bit mad while Killua was like “well, if we’re you in the future of course we’re going to be stronger! Baka!” and started bikering with the other Killua while his Gon’s being harrassed. Then the “future” Hisoka showed up (aka 2011 version) who complained about how ugly the other Hisoka was and also expressed how he wasn’t pleased about him stalking his Gon when he had his own Gon and that it wasn’t his fault if that one wasn’t ripped yet. Killua got pretty mad hearing Hisoka say that Gon was his and tried to make the Hisokas fight hoping they’d kill each other or at least one would die which would be good enough ‘cause, hey! One Hisoka less is better than two Hisokas. But 2011 Hisoka explained that as much as he wanted to fight himself he couldn’t hurt the other Hisoka. It wasn’t clear if he meant that he physically couldn’t for some reason or if he was implying that 99s Hisoka was him in the past and that killing him would create a paradox, there a lot of weird fucking things left unexplained and I was pretty fucking pissed. Then Leorio appeared out of nowhere and he’s riding a motherfucking mammoth for no fucking reason and no one even asks what the fuck that is about. Why does he have a mammoth? Is it even real? Is it supposed to be part of the game? Is it actually just a nen beast? Why aren’t you studying, buddy? I don’t know, I don’t fucking know and nothing makes sense. Now comes a weird (yeah) bit in which the horny lady that was supposed to provide guidance kind of asks Leorio to feel her up to guess if she’s female or male and he refuses because that gave him Hunter Exam flashbacks which apparently are bad for him even though that time he touched the hot prisoner he was over the moon? But here it looks like the Hunter Exam flashbacks are giving him a bad case of ptsd which makes him leave all sad. Illumi also was there at one point but no one interacted with him, he was just being creepy in the background, starting at Killua but it seemed that no one even noticed him.

#i hate having long dreams sometimes #because they became frustrating #and also it really fucking sucks that I'm sure i'm dreaming but i'm not able to achieve a lucid dream #because for some reason i convince myself that it's actually real so i can't control anything #like i know i'm dreaming but i don't think i am #;diary #;dreams #;long post #this took me a lot of time to write #because i remember the things that happened but its kind of hard to find the right words to explain it

1 note · View note

dondake · 6 years ago

Text

[fugonara] delinquent

rating: t summary: HS!AU where Narancia asks, what are we? AO3 Link

[=]

Narancia liked fucking at Fugo’s house; Fugo’s bed was soft, his sheets always felt nice against his skin, and there was always food in the fridge to take after they finished. The lube Fugo had at his house was also better, unscented but didn’t leave a strange sticky residue afterwards. Narancia had concluded before they’d started sleeping with each other that teenagers were just always going to be crap at screwing and would only get better with age; but maybe there was a hint of truth to the thought that being rich solved a couple more problems. He watched Fugo pull a shirt over his head, while he was shamelessly still naked and curled up in Fugo’s bed. Fugo was younger, practically a baby with a year’s difference, so he still had some growing to do but his shoulders were already starting to settle into a broad, formidable frame. The expanse of back between them was something Narancia liked to run his hands over. “Hey,” he said. “What are we?”

“Friends,” Fugo said. “Wanna go get some food?”

They went to get food at a quick service place. Afterwards, Fugo walked Narancia to the bus stop. “I’ll call you,” Fugo said.

“So you’re really just interested in having sex with me, huh?” Narancia said.

“What?” Fugo frowned. “What are you talking about?” The two girls in uniforms, sensing an argument, shifted toward the other side of the bus shelter. “What’s this suddenly about?”

“I asked you earlier about what we are. You said we’re just friends. Friends don’t fuck each other, Fugo. Maybe you don’t have enough to know, but I’ve got a lot and we don’t go around sticking it in each other for fun.”

Fugo glanced at the girls, who were pointedly minding their own businesses. He was not getting out of a fight any time soon. “So, what are you mad about? You don’t want us to sleep together anymore?”

“No, I do. But I want to do other things too, like going out to eat and seeing shows and, I don’t know, just walk around together and…” He paused, noticing Fugo’s frown. “I mean, I know we do those things already, but...it’s not the same.” Unlike Fugo, and Giorno and Trish, who all went to an elite prep school and learned how to speak eloquently like politicians on television, Narancia could only say how he felt in the words he knew.

“Okay...then, you answer the question. What are we?”

“I don’t know! Obviously, or else I wouldn’t be asking you, would I?” Narancia threw his hands up. “And you say I’m the stupid one.”

“What’s wrong with not knowing? We’re doing the things you say you want to do, so I don’t see what the issue is.”

“No, you idiot, it’s not that I don’t know what we are…” Narancia’s frustration was manifesting itself into fidgeting as he started gesturing more, speaking with his hands. “I just...I don’t know...maybe I want to be in a relationship like Bruno and Trish.” The bus came, and the girls quickly clamoured on. Narancia made no movement to board. After letting off a man with a stack of magazines, who gave them one look and went on his way, the bus drove off. “Say something, asshole. I just said I want to be in a relationship with you.”

“I don’t have anything to say to that.”

Narancia’s swings were dampened somewhat by the fact that he still had a bag on his back, throwing off his center of gravity and balance, but Fugo still parried to keep from getting knocked around in the narrow bus shelter. They were now getting worried looks from people walking by and from across the street, so he pulled Narancia into a nearby parking lot where the cars around them and the people coming to and from them stopped Narancia from flying into a rage in public. “Mista was right. You really are a good-for-nothing trash baby. I am wasted on you. Have a nice life. Hope you die somewhere alone.”

“Whoa,” Trish said the next day. “You’re looking way darker and broodier than ever, Fugo. What happened? Purple Haze finally bite you on the dick?”

“Purple Haze would never bite me,” Fugo countered. “He doesn’t bite unless I tell him to.”

Trish exchanged a look with Giorno, who had the misfortune of being seated in front of Fugo and was now very used to hearing his seat neighbor’s gripes. “Uh, I don’t know if you’re selectively blind, but the last time we came over to study, your dog almost ripped my arm off and was about to go off on Giorno’s bag like it was a plucked chicken.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s a little feral, but he’s not that bad. He doesn’t bite--” Fugo cut himself off.

“What? He doesn’t bite Narancia? Well, like owner like dog, as they say. You both have a soft spot for that boy.” Trish raised her eyebrows as Fugo glowered even harder. “Ooh, I see...you had a spat with Narancia.”

“That isn’t unusual,” Giorno offered. “I’d say it’s how you two actually communicate.”

“He told me he hopes I go die somewhere alone.”

“Oh! Fugo, please, spare us the gory, flirty details!”

“No,” Fugo said. “It was different this time.” Giorno and Trish were still looking at him blankly. For a second, Fugo felt like he understood, vaguely, what Narancia had meant now. “He was asking what we were--”

Trish’s jaw dropped. “You are full of surprises today! Why are you so upset, though? You’re coupled up!”

“Trish,” Giorno reminded, “Narancia told Fugo to die alone, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Trish, the keen and ever-so-observant, suddenly turned on Fugo with a look of pure disdain. “You told him you weren’t interested.” Now even Giorno was looking at him with apprehension; Giorno liked Mista, who liked Narancia, so by association, Giorno liked Narancia; it helped that Narancia was plucky and did not shy away even when Giorno fell into one of his navelgazing analysis modes.

“Well...no. I said we were friends--”

“Fugo, you absolute airhead! What kind of friend sleeps with their friend? There has to be some kind of attraction there, but even if we give you the benefit of the doubt that you could fool around with someone just for fun - Narancia’s been a starry-eyed idiot who actually listens to you talk for a while now and you, an irritable grump, give him the patience of a saint who lapses occasionally. Seriously?”

They continued the conversation at lunch. Trish, the daughter of a prominent pharmacist, had a neat, little spread of meat and cheeses. Giorno had a salad - “I like the texture. You can get a lot of different crunches by changing up the leaves and then there’s so many combinations of things to add to it that can change the flavor altogether.” - which was a lush green with pops of color here and there. “What’s your problem,” Trish began, apropos of nothing as she picked up the train of thought right where she had left it. “Are you really not interested in being in a committed relationship with Narancia at all?”

“We are committed right now.”

“Really? I mean, as it is...you could have sex with anyone else right now and it would be okay.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Okay, but Narancia could have sex with anyone else too.”

Fugo scoffed. “He isn’t. Who would want to get together with someone like him?”

Trish groaned, clearly giving up on the topic, but Giorno put down his fork. “Fugo, you said you’re a man of good taste. That’s what you believe, isn’t it? So if you have good taste, wouldn’t you think that someone else with good taste might want to approach Narancia, especially if he isn’t just seeing one person right now?”

The thought of someone else putting up with Narancia always thinking he was right, or tolerating when Narancia tried every excuse in the book to talk himself out of doing work or convince someone he was right when he was very much wrong - it seemed impossible for Fugo to imagine. Though, hadn’t he also been captivated by the way Narancia smiled like he had a secret he wanted to tell, and by the way he threw himself headlong into trouble if it was for the sake of someone he cared about? He’d kissed Narancia after months of pining and attempts at redirecting his attention elsewhere, but there were certainly people who did not spend hours psychoanalyzing themselves and might properly and successfully pursue someone without worrying about the consequences.

“I’m skipping fifth period,” Fugo said.

Narancia had a habit of skipping his double study halls, because unlike Mista who could entertain himself quietly and Bruno who would actually study, he was incapable of sitting still for long periods of time. Fugo found him two blocks away from the public high school, sitting out of the line of sight for the cashier inside the convenience store. He was reading a magazine about racing motorcycles and drinking a nicked carton of cafeteria orange juice. “What?” he said, without looking up.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brushed off what you wanted to talk about. I’m not seeing anyone else right now.”

Narancia closed the magazine. “Fugo, do you like me?”

“Yeah. I like you.”

“Why don’t you want to be in a relationship?”

“It’s not that I don’t...it’s a label with a lot of expectations. It’s not fair to the other person to just take it on without considering everything.” His parents were married, but he didn’t think they loved each other. His father’s parents were pressuring him and his mother wanted to escape her family’s business. Now that they’d come into money, it was more pronounced, holding gatherings for socialites and minding how they appeared in public. Gossip could ruin a whole foundation. “Not that I don’t think you’re not serious...but I don’t know. And I know we’re just kids, so it doesn’t matter. It’s not like we’re entering some kind of legal contract or anything, and…”

“Alright, alright. I get it.” Narancia stood up, brushing himself off. “Fine. We don’t need to put labels on us. I just never heard you say that you like me in particular. I didn’t know that you weren’t hooking up with anyone else.”

Fugo stared at him. “I never told you?”

“No. You’re good looking and you can take girls out to fancy places, so how was I supposed to know I wasn’t competing with all the rich girls at your school? I’m not going to ask Trish something embarrassing like that.” Narancia grinned smugly. “But it’s cool to know I’m liked, and I’m the only one you like. I should have known it was just you overthinking everything again. I bet when we first made out, you looked up how to do it first--”

“Narancia,” Fugo said, with all seriousness, “will you go out with me?”

The cashier came outside to break up the fight in the front parking lot, but before she could get the names of the high schoolers brawling, they ran off, leaving a half-empty carton of orange juice. She hadn’t thought that a student from the prep school, judging by the uniform, would cut class right in the middle of the day. Narancia had parked his bike nearby, pulling it out from behind the dumpsters. Before taking off, before Fugo would need to keep a death grip on Narancia’s shoulder to survive the ride of pure speed and shakiness, Narancia pressed a fast kiss to the corner of Fugo’s mouth. They weren’t going back for sixth period.

#fugonara #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #canadino fic

18 notes · View notes

appareils-futiles · 3 years ago

Text

Nueva York, Te 💕 Amare Siempre

‘’New York is sophisticated. New York is captivating. New York is enticing. New York is romantic. Especially when it rains.’’ I saw ‘’ A Rainy Day in New York’’ the other day (coincidentally started this post then and Tumblr decided to delete it, ghetto, I know) and it was the typical Woody Allen film, always raining, same cadence, same story. Ok, fine. Whatever, the point it is, it was predictable. It wasn’t bad, it’s definately rewatchable if you can stand an uber perky Elle Fanning somehow getting 4 different men to fall in love with her in one day. It’s no Midnight in Paris. Seems like much was left to the imagination. Like Inez said in Midnight in Paris, ‘‘Why does every city got to be in the rain?’‘ Paul responds: And no global warming, no TV and suicide bombing, and nuclear weapons, drug cartels. But anywho, the scene where she walks into the Carlyle with nothing but a raincoat on bothered me, cause I’m like ‘’you left your shoes back at Francisco’s place so how do you have them on now?’’, then how she could never remember the hotel they are staying at...where all her stuff is. Ditzy blonde at it’s finest. But when Gatsby offers to get her coffee and tells her to take off the wet raincoat, she says she can’t cause she’s not wearing anything underneath, and Gatsby is literally not even bothered. I mean, it’s safe to assume she was messing with another guy because she’s got her bra and panties but no clothes. A raincoat that isn’t hers. No umbrella and she’s exhausted so she was running in the pouring rain in a city she doesn’t know and has no idea where to go. She cant tell Gatsby because she left everything Francisco’s place. Yet, he’s unbothered. Why? Because he at that point developed feelings for Chan. So it was whatever. I figured she’d tell him the deets and then he’d get upset. Yes, he’s eccentric and slightly snotty and you can tell from the jump that a city boy who said he transferred from Yale and has rich ass parents and a girl from Tuscon, Arizona who is also wealthy and a beauty queen, yet clearly ditzy you can tell they werent compatible. Did he get mad? No. She said that Rolland (much older director) had asked her to go to Europe with him. Run away!....not a peep from Gatsby, his agent, fell for her after running around town looking for Rolland and catching his wife cheating with his best friend, not a peep from Gatsby, she drank with and almost slept with Francisco, a huge movie star, she kissed him, took of her clothes and was literally not caring about Gatsby that she’s willing to sleep with this star. Not a peep from Gatsby, my guy was unbothered. In the carriage ride, he realized they were incompatible when ol girl had the audacity to confuse Shakespeare with Cole Porter: "The roaring traffic's boom. Silence in my lonely room." the expression on his face was priceless. I replayed it a few times. And he dumps her. He drops out of college, comes back to the city and starts seeing Chan, who he’s clearly more compatible with. (weird cause he dated her older sister, presumibly in HS, which was like 2 yrs before) ‘’ I need a carbon monoxide to survive. We are two different creatures, right? You like the sound of crickets and I like the rattle of the taxies. You blossom in the sun and me, I come into my own under grey skies.’’ --Gatsby to Ashleigh And that’s it, that’s the movie. Literally that’s the movie. The B stories don’t matter. ‘’One thing about New York City. You are here or you are nowhere. You cannot achieve another level of anxiety, hostility or paranoia anywhere else.’’ But anywho, the whole point of this post was for me to talk about how much I love my city. (Im actually from The Bronx, but whatever) I love this city, like Adriana said in Midnight in Paris ‘’ That Paris exists and anyone could choose to live anywhere else in the world will always be a mystery to me. ‘‘ Switch Paris to New York and there you have me. I left New York in 2014 because I had to. I moved to Po-dunk Virginia, went through hell and back and somehow didn’t blow my brains out. Mostly because I was too broke to afford a gun. Many times I considered it but who would care? I got the opportunity to go to Texas, and I took it. As a last ditch effort to not you know, die. The plan was the same as previously mentioned for Virginia, get some type of degree. A 2 year, maybe vet tech and after saving some money, learning how to take the buses and have some experience, (6 months) cause the whole 3 year situation was never a thought!....and head back to NY. That didnt work out. Clearly. But that’s a whole other post that I can’t possibly begin to unpack right now. And here I am. Again. In the Bronx. With not a damn thing but a bad shoulder, anxiety, depression, a temper and a crippled hand to show for it. You’d think I’d at least get my GED. And I havent but it’s not for my lack of trying. Even with it’s dark, gritty, rats, and dollar pizzas. It’s mine. It’s my city. It’s the greatest city in the world. And 8.80 million people can’t be wrong. Ok, Im upset now, I’ll carry on later. 1.30.22. m722

0 notes

thekillingquill · 7 years ago

Text

The Perfect Gift

Pairing: Peter Parker x Ash @midtownsciences Word Count: 4,936 Warnings: Some swearing, Ash is Irish you know. Summary: Ned and Harry are determined to help Peter seal the deal with the new girl on campus with a little rigged Secret Santa game and maybe some mistletoe. A/N: I’m so sorry this isn’t the story I was planning to write. I got sick 1/3 way through this and had to make some changes. I’m so sorry babe. I hope you like it. Also how ironic is it that I got MY Tumblr BFF for Secret Santa?!

Technically there aren’t assigned seats in college. Technically. But it’s an unspoken rule that where you sit on the first day is your spot for the rest of the semester. After much trial and error in his freshman year of college, Peter determined that sitting on the very end seat in the 4-7 row was best in case he needed to make a hasty exit for Spider-Man business. (Technically there weren’t assigned seats in college so he wasn’t doing anything wrong by switching seats so often… technically.)

Provided that the unspoken rule regarding seats in college wasn’t broken, this seat was also good for if he happened to be running late. Last year it seemed like Peter was running late for everything: dinner with May, study group with MJ and Ned, tutoring with Harry, meetings with Mr. Stark and, most disappointingly for everyone in his life, his classes.

Peter is determined to do better for his sophomore year. So far he’s been ten minutes early for two of his lectures which allowed him to snag his preferred seat and gave him time to review the syllabus for the semester beforehand. It seems like the universe might be rewarding him for his new attitude when the girl with the red hair claims the seat one row down and one to the left of where he’s sitting for his third lecture. He’s drawn to her the moment she steps inside of the lecture hall--there’s something about the way she looks around the room, like she’s a little lost, that intrigues him.

It’s hard not to stare outright as she carefully walks up the steps. He debates with himself on whether he should invite her to sit with him when she starts moving into the empty row in front of him. She sets her bag on the seat directly in front of his and Peter is relieved that he chickened out of talking to her. She must have been looking for her friends and is clearly saving a seat for someone (he really hopes it isn’t for a guy).

He barely acknowledges Ned when he settles into the seat beside him. MJ bypasses them completely to sit in the row behind them with Harry falling into the seat next to her almost immediately after. Peter hardly glances at them, even when Harry reaches down to ruffle his hair in greeting. He’s too focused on the way the fluorescent lights brings out the different variations of red in the girl’s hair. Not even the professor’s impassioned lecture on chemical products and processes can get him to tear his eyes away from her.

“Hey Parker, what’s with the smirk?” Harry teases in a less than quiet whisper. Peter turns to his friend abruptly with wide eyes, making wild shushing motions with his hands--the first time he really takes his gaze away from the girl. Peter is ashamed to say that he doesn’t retain a single thing from the lecture. What he does remember, with horrifying clarity, is when the lecture ended and Ned turns around to talk to MJ and Harry.

“Study group?” He asks pointing to each of them in turn. The girl is finishing up writing some notes in a spiral bound book, possibly from the lecture (maybe he could ask to borrow them since he zoned out the whole class. He could try one of Harry’s lines: “Since I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you all class I think it’s only fair that you let me read over your notes when we go out for dinner tonight. Maybe you could tutor me when we head back to my place.”) “Peter?”

With great difficulty, Peter pulls his gaze from the girl in front of him and turns to face his friends with wide, panicked eyes as if only realizing now that his friends had been witness to his growing infatuation.

“Yeah, yeah sounds great.” Hs voice comes out louder than he means it to and his eyes begin to strain towards the girl again. Harry picks up his printed syllabus and gives a low whistle..

“This workload looks absolutely insane. We should think about adding a fifth or even a sixth person to our group if we want to keep up with this and our other four insane classes.” The girl has packed up her bag, is standing from her seat and pulling the strap onto her shoulder. Peter acts without thinking and reaches over to tap her on the shoulder, fingers brushing against hers in the process.

Of course his mind goes blank when she turns to look up at him, her blue eyes wide with surprise and nervousness. She’s beautiful, he thinks to himself in awe. His eyes move rapidly to observe each of her facial features: they start at the subtle arch of her eyebrows, trail down the bridge of her nose and pause on the flush rising on her cheeks. The sight of her cheeks reddening causes his own cheeks to heat up, and his eyes drop suddenly to her lips and he finds his mouth suddenly dry. He finally understands what books mean by a cupid’s bow because that’s the only way to describe the shape of her upper lip. Her lower lip is full and the colouring she has chosen for that day--he can’t think of any word to describe it except delicious.

Oh god, he thinks to himself desperately, she’s so beautiful. He realizes his mouth is open, is horrified that he doesn’t know how long it’s been open for.

“I-uh-study group!” He blurts out quickly, his own eyes widening in horror.

“Sorry about that,” Harry interjects quickly, leaning over to offer his hand to the girl. “Harry Osborn.” The girl stares at the hand with wide eyes, her hands tightening on the strap of her bag. Just when Peter thinks that she’s going to turn around and leave, she surprises him by taking Harry’s hand and giving it a firm shake. Peter notes that she isn’t quite capable of meeting Harry’s eye and that she’s quick to drop his hand.

“Ash.” She states bluntly with a slight lilt that sounds familiar to Peter. Harry leaps gracefully over the seat in front of him to settle in next to Ned, throwing an arm casually over the back the chair.

“Oh wow, you’re a little far from home aren’t you lass? What my friend here is trying to say is that we’re looking to add someone to our study group. Would you be interested? Despite his less than stellar invitation,” Harry extends his arm a little to slap Peter’s back, “Peter here is actually pretty smart. Smart enough to score an internship with Stark Industries when he was fifteen. My father’s been trying to convince him to work at Oscorp for the last year.”

Harry grips Peter’s shoulder, shaking him roughly with a boisterous laugh and a bright, teasing grin. He lets go of Peter’s shoulder to point his thumb behind him in MJ’s general direction.

“This is Michelle. She was valedictorian for Midtown School of Science and this guy right here is Ned. He brings his unending optimism to the group which is a vital asset for when the stress of midterms and finals have you down. And I’m rich so I usually just bring the coffee and the snacks to benefit from their collective intelligence.”

Ash purses her lips to hide a smile, but not before Peter sees it starting to form. She clears her throat and nods slightly. Harry moves his arm from the back of Ned’s chair and leans forward in his seat.

“I can tell that you’re a little nervous. So how about,” he reaches behind Ned and slides MJ’s notebook off of her desk, pulling a sharpie from the front pocket of his jeans, “you give Michelle your email or cell number. She’ll tell you when and where we’re meeting and you can decide whether or not you wanna come. We’d love to have you but understand if you’d rather work through the syllabus on your own.”

She eyes the notebook and sharpie for a beat before accepting them. She crouches down low in the aisle and uses her knee as a table to write on a blank page. When Ash stands, Harry reaches out for the notebook, but she bypasses him in favour of taking the extra steps to bring the notebook directly to MJ. Ash doesn’t look back as she leaves the lecture hall. Harry lets out another low whistle as he stands from his seat.

“Jesus Parker, that was awful. How someone as incredibly awkward as you managed to date so much in high school baffles me, just absolutely baffles me. Hey, MJ, you went out with Peter. What’s the appeal?”

MJ, who is already halfway down the steps flips Harry off as she continues to walk.

“So what's everyone doing for the holidays?” Harry asks conversationally as their study session winds down for the evening. Given the inclement weather New York has been experiencing, the group had opted to meet at Starbucks instead of its usual table at the library. It gave the session a more relaxed, informal feel and was only moderately less productive.

“I'm going to visit family out of state.” Ned volunteers with his usual grin, the only one to easily engage in Harry’s small talk. Peter doesn’t need to look at MJ to know that she is reluctant to share any kind of personal details about her holiday plans. It comes off of her in waves and he’d bet that she’s purposefully looking down at her notes to avoid eye contact with them. Peter, as usual, finds that his gaze is drawn elsewhere--to the other reluctant party at their table.

Peter thought that he’d spend the first study group of the semester waiting to see if Ash would show up, but when he and Ned arrived (ten minutes early) Ash and MJ were already sitting quietly together in the library each focused on their own books. Peter was quick to sit next to Ash that first day and so the seat next to Ash in study group was unofficially his.

At first Peter found it difficult to talk to her during study group. She has a wall built up high around her and while Spider-Man would have scaled it in a heartbeat, Peter Parker had to think of other ways to tackle the brick and mortar defenses of a beautiful stranger. She has this way of talking to people that can come across as blunt and sarcastic, little barbs of wit that can wound when she’s not careful. It reminded Peter of MJ and got him twisted up in the best ways. There are times where Ash says something and he can see her wishing that the words could come back, be erased somehow, because they weren’t gentle enough. She doesn’t understand yet that everyone there had thick skin--years of conditioning from MJ’s own barbed tongue.

He doesn’t know how to tell her that it’s okay. That they’re her friends now and she can’t say anything that will make them turn away. The closest thing he can think of is to tell her that he just wants to talk to her all the damn time. Learning something new about her sends an indescribable thrill through Peter. It started off small: all pizza is good pizza (but pepperoni is her weakness), she taught guitar classes to seven year old kids in Ireland and always has a “for pleasure” book in her bag. Then came the more intimate stuff: she traveled around Ireland to play music competitively, she keeps an emergency “for pleasure” book in her car back home, and she loves to rock climb (Peter nearly jumped the gun and asked her on a date to go rock climbing then and there) (sometimes he lays awake at night and wonders if by some miracle she might have said yes).

So he finds himself to be a little too invested in her answer regarding her holiday plans, wonders what new details of her life that she might unveil today. He can’t help it, he pushes her a little, leaning over to speak directly to her because he can’t resist stealing these little moments of closeness whenever he can.

“Are you going home for the holidays?” Ash’s eyes flick to him briefly and she pushes her hair further over her left shoulder before answering.

“I can’t really afford to fly back and forth all the time. I’ll probably just stay in New York until I graduate.” Peter frowns.

“Do you have any plans at all?” He asks with concern. Ash half smiles and gives one, mirthless chuckle and finally, finally looks up at Peter (his abdomen clenches pleasantly when their eyes meet--he should be used to this by now, but it always catches him off guard, like missing a step going down the stairs).

“I’m going to catch up on all of the sleep I lost this semester. I might not even leave my bed on Christmas except to go to the bathroom and to heat up a pizza.” Peter knows that he’s staring and that the silence is dragging, but he can’t quite get over how nice she looks today in particular. She’s got her hair parted dramatically over the left side, exposing much of her neck to him. He clears his throat and speaks to the table, bringing them back into the conversation.

“Well, Aunt May will try to make a traditional Christmas dinner and we’ll end up eating leftover Chinese food. Either on Christmas Eve or Christmas day we’ll go put some flowers on Ben’s grave.” He tries to make the words sound casual, but the last four get stuck in his throat on the way out. He swallows thickly and avoids eye contact out of embarrassment. Bringing up Ben weakens MJ’s resolve and she shares her holiday plans with a roll of her eyes (“I’m volunteering at a homeless shelter.”).

“Well, as I’m sure you’ve all guessed, I’ll be leaving the country. Haven’t decided if I’m going somewhere warm or somewhere to ski yet. I’ll keep you all posted.” Peter feels a sudden shift in the air, his eyes immediately darting to Ned who has a wide grin on his face. His excitement is palpable, makes Peter squirm in his seat.

“We should do a Secret Santa before we break for holiday!” Harry immediately perks up at the idea, MJ slouches in her seat and Ash’s body goes tense beside a slack jawed Peter.

“Yes! We’re doing it.” Harry rips out a page of his notebook and uncaps his pen, writing his own name. “What’s the budget?” He asks while his pen continues to move down the page, etching each of their names in permanent ink.

“Minimum $20, maximum $50?” Ned asks the table.

“We should just cap it at $20, Ned.” Ash answers. Under Peter’s gaze she feels compelled to continue: “What if you get someone a $20 gift and someone else gets you a $50 gift? We’re broke as fuck college kids, let’s be realistic.” She turns her gaze onto Harry, her cheeks flushed a pleasant pink and then she smirks. “Sorry Harry. Gotta learn to shop on a budget.”

The last part, Peter knows, is supposed to be a joke but it falls a little flat. (Does it? Or is he just jealous that her smirk was for Harry, that her cheeks are flushed under his gaze and not Peter’s?)

“Noted,” Harry replies, pulling his beanie from where it was drying on the back of his chair. Ned, Peter sees, has begun to rip and fold each name, tossing them into Harry’s beanie. When all the names have been thrown in, Harry offers his hat to MJ. “Ladies first.”

MJ raises an eyebrow, but reaches for a piece of paper without comment. Harry shakes the hat in front of Ash and then darts it quickly to Ned and then takes a name for himself before teasing Peter with the last name.

“What happens if you get your own name?” Ned asks with a sheepish smile. Harry grins.

“You trade! Here you go man.” Harry and Ned quickly exchange slips of paper and Peter carefully unfolds his to see her name. Peter begins to suspect that his friends had been planning this for a lot longer than they were letting on.

“We’ll exchange gifts at our last study group, agreed?” Harry asks, being the first to stand up and begin putting on his jacket. Everyone agrees quickly enough and begins to pack up their things.

“Hey,” MJ says quietly, putting a hand on Ash’s shoulder. “I got a text from work. I’m picking up an extra shift. You good to get back on your own?”

“I’ll walk with you.” Peter offers, dropping his overstuffed backpack on his chair. Ash smiles up at him and he waits for her to politely decline--is used to her shyness by now.

“Actually that sounds perfect.”

“Yeah, yeah, great! I’m just gonna grab a coffee for the road and then we can go. Did-did you want anything?” Peter says while walking backwards toward the counter. He trips on someone’s bag, catching himself quickly and blushing madly when he looks back up at Ash.

“I’m fine, thank you.” She says, voice shaking with repressed laughter. MJ laughs openly at the situation (Peter will consider this her Christmas gift for the year).

Harry joins Peter at the counter while he waits for his order.

“Hey Pete. What d’ya think about doing Secret Santa?” Peter smirks and rolls his eyes.

“Alright Osborn, fess up. How long did you and Ned plan this for?” Harry doesn’t bother to hide his grin.

“Just a couple of days. Come on, Pete, it’s about time that something happened between you two. We’re just trying to help it along. Find her the perfect present to show her how you feel and then ask her out already. Listen Parker, if I have to go another semester with you giving her moony eyes when she’s not looking, I’m going to have to dropout of school. Could you imagine my father’s disappointment?”

“I-I don’t give her moony eyes.” Peter denies feebly. Harry laughs and ruffles Peter’s hair before calling out a goodbye to Ash, the only person left at the table. Peter quickly doctors his coffee and meets up with Ash at the table.

“Ready to go?” Ash smiles tightly and nods. Peter holds open the door for her and they walk side by side in silence for half a block.

“Peter, can you keep a secret?” Ash asks quietly as they wait to cross the street. Peter shoots her a grin.

“Oh yeah. Big time.”

“I got Harry for Secret Santa and I don’t really know him that well. See, if I’d gotten Ned I’d know to get him some sort of Star Wars thing or maybe like a Lego thing? And if I’d gotten MJ… well, she’s the easiest person in the world to shop for. It’s just a matter of finding her a good book, isn’t it? But what the fuck do you get the rich boy who has everything?”

“Okay, you have to promise you won’t tell Harry I told you this.” Peter warns as they cross the street.

“Okay. I promise not to tell Harry.” Ash vows with exaggerated solemnity.

“He has a soft spot for handmade gifts.” Peter admits. “Things like baked goods are good. He likes mixed CDs, oh! You could record covers of his favourite songs and make a mixed CD of those.”

“I don’t know Peter… isn’t that a little too intimate? I don’t want to make him think that I’m into him or something.” Ash says uncomfortably.

“Baked goods, then.” Peter suggests trying to keep the glee from his voice. She’s not into Harry, she’s not into Harry, she’s not into Harry.

“I don’t really have access to an oven in the dorms.” Once again Ash is presenting Peter with an opportunity--one he is going to seize.

“You should use my aunt’s kitchen.”

“Peter, I couldn’t.” Ash says emphatically.

“Why not?” Peter asks in confusion.

“It’s too much! That’s your home. I couldn’t invade your personal space like that.” Peter turns his abrupt laughter into a fake cough.

“It’s no big deal. The kitchen could do with a successful baking experience. Get its confidence up a bit.” Ash’s eyes become crescent moons as she laughs.

“Your aunt doesn’t bake?”

“Oh no, she bakes. Just not very well. You’d be doing the oven a favour, honestly.”

“Okay, you win Peter Parker. I will use your aunt’s kitchen to bake my Secret Santa gift for Harry.”

“Peter, we’ve been looking for hours.” Aunt May says gently. “Isn’t your gift exchange tomorrow?”

Peter groans, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it is.”

“Honey, are you sure we can’t get her the scarf and the chocolates? You can’t go wrong with chocolates.”

“I don’t know, May. It just doesn’t seem right.” Aunt May frowns and reaches up to put her arm around her nephew.

“It might help if you could tell me what you’re looking for.”

The problem is that Peter doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Despite his best efforts, maybe he just doesn’t know Ash well enough to get her the perfect gift. Truthfully, he’d been out shopping three days in a row before he even asked his aunt for help. He’d made list after list of potential gift ideas ranging from perfume (what if she’s allergic) to a stuffed animal (what is she, five?). He even considered custom guitar picks with her name on them, but none of these ideas felt right.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for!” Peter groans. “I think I’ll know it when I see it.”

“You really like this girl, huh?”

“She’s amazing May, and she just doesn’t see it. How can someone so beautiful not see that they’re beautiful? How can someone so smart not realize how smart they are?” Peter asks desperately.

“Well Peter, it’s hard for girls to see those things about themselves when the world is constantly pushing this idea of universal beauty on them. And it’s only recently that the world has begun to embrace and celebrate intelligent women.”

“That’s terrible. I just… want her to be able to see herself the way I see her.” Aunt May squeezes her nephew’s shoulder.

“Aw Pete,” Aunt May coos. “Guess we better get back to looking. It’s already 1:30 and you’ve gotta go pick her up at 4:00 don’t you?”

‘Yeah, yeah you’re right.” After another hour of searching, Peter settles on a gift. He’s not sure if it’s perfect, but something about it just felt right. He gets the store to gift wrap it for him and Aunt May takes it home while Peter catches the train to Ash’s dorm.

She’s got her hair tied back with little wisps framing her face. Her smile is small and timid, and her cheeks are developing a soft pink tint. Peter grins broadly at her in return. Ash is uncharacteristically cheeky on their journey to the grocery store, trying to get Peter to slip up and spill who he got for Secret Santa.

He can’t stop smiling.

“It’s me, isn’t it? You got me?” She asks as they wait in the checkout line at the store. This is not the first time she has asked, but this is the first time that Peter has responded.

“Why do you wanna know so bad?” Ash smiles at her feet and takes a deep breath before looking back at him--her flush has deepened to a rosy pink.

“My family does Secret Santa every year and I always figure out who everyone gets. It’s like a puzzle that I need to solve, you know? I already got Ned to tell me who he got.” Of course she did.

“Well you only have to wait one more day.” Peter says while reaching for her grocery bags. Ash tries to argue that she should carry them, but Peter just ignores her. He didn’t think that having Ash come to his apartment would make him so nervous, but the closer they got the more he started to worry.

It’s not like she’s coming to hang out. She’s coming to use your kitchen. It doesn’t matter if your room is messy, she probably won’t even see your room. Still, he needs to take a deep steadying breath when he unlocks the door.

“Aunt May, we’re here!” He calls, turning to the kitchen. His aunt doesn’t reply, because as per the note on the fridge, she has gone to do some Christmas shopping of her own and will pick up dinner on the way home (text me with what you guys want).

“So my aunt is out shopping, but she’s gonna bring back dinner for us. I’m thinking pizza. Pepperoni’s your favourite, right?” Peter doesn’t know why he asks, he knows that’s her favourite.

“I knew it!” Ash says loudly, her voice infused with an excitement that Peter has never heard before. Peter looks up from Aunt May’s note and finds Ash standing over their small kitchen table.

“Knew what?” He asks dumbly. Ash turns around and Peter spots the box in her hand--red, with a white ribbon. Her gift, left out in the open.

“You, Peter Parker, are my Secret Santa!” Ash’s smile is so cheeky and endearing that Peter can’t find it in himself to be upset that he’s been found out. “Can I open it?”

“You can’t wait one day?” He asks her with false exasperation.

“Oh, come on Peter! I’ll rewrap it for tomorrow and I can act surprised. Please?” Peter’s mouth goes dry. On the one hand, he’d like to say yes to her because he wants her to be happy. On the other hand, he’s a little scared of what he reaction might be. He didn’t realize how much he was counting on having his friends around tomorrow to filter out her response.

“Yeah, yeah, why not?” He says, his voice sounding distant. He moves to stand next to Ash, his hands nervously gripping one of the table chairs while he waits. She pulls at the ribbon with the excitement of a child, pulling at the paper and tape eagerly to reveal a plain white box. Her nails slip under the tape and she carefully pulls open the lid.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, pulling the gift out. Peter bites his lip, carefully watching her face. Her lips are slightly parted and her eyes are glistening.

Oh god, she’s about to cry, he realizes with dread. She hates it. Ashe is carefully cradling a snow globe of the New York City skyline in her hands. She looks up at Peter, her eyes swimming in unshed tears, and clears her throat.

“Did I… did I tell you that I collect snow globes?” She asks him quietly. Peter shakes his head slowly.

“No, you didn’t.” Her lower lip trembles slightly as she nods.

“I uh, have a collection back home. You know that I compete in music competitions right? I try to get a new snow globe from each place we play.” Peter clears his throat nervously.

“There’s an engraving on the bottom.” He tells her in a gentle whisper. Ash immediately turns the globe over, her watery eyes moving carefully over each letter. Peter can’t breathe while she reads the words that he and May carefully crafted together earlier this day: NEW YORK CITY HAS NEVER BEEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN WHEN YOU’RE HERE. When she looks up at Peter, the tears slip past her barriers and she gasps his name.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly, reaching up to wipe her tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Peter. It’s so nice. You’re so nice. You’re the nicest boy I’ve ever met.” Ash brings her arms around Peter’s waist in a tight hug. He wraps his arms around her shoulders, pressing his face into her hair. He sighs into her hair, and starts rocking them from side to side in an attempt to elicit a laugh from Ash--he’s successful.

She pulls back, but does not let go of Peter, to present him with a watery smile.

“Are you sure you didn’t know about the snow globes?” She asks him teasingly.

“No, it just… seemed right.” Ash’s smile becomes more sincere under his gaze, the atmosphere becoming charged with an unnamed something more.

“It does.” She agrees, pressing her cheek to his chest in a second hug.

The next day, she and Peter walk hand in hand into the library for their last study group of the semester. When Harry holds the mistletoe over them, Peter doesn’t hesitate to kiss his girlfriend in front of their friends, even though he knows Ash’s face will be beet red for the rest of the day because of it.

Harry, as Peter assured Ash, did love her homemade cookies.

“Careful there Pete, now that I know she can bake I might try and steal her away from you.” He teases. Ash’s flush deepens and Peter thrills when she chooses to hide her face in his chest.

“I don’t think that’ll be possible Osborn,” Peter teases back. “I’m stronger than I look and I don’t see myself letting go of her any time soon.”

“Oh my god, you two need to stop!” Ash groans, voice muffled by Peter’s Christmas sweater.

They do stop their teasing… for about five minutes.

Tag List: @spiderllandtrash @rileywrites-parker @acastleintheair @ju-gg @forevanssake (just thought you guys would like to see this shit storm)

#SecretHollandSantas #Secret Holland Santas #Peter Parker Imagine #Peter Parker x OC #Quill Writes

55 notes · View notes

beautyindisguise00 · 4 years ago

Text

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?

Friday night October 16 2020 @5:50pm

1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Wisconsin

2. WHERE DO YOU LIVE AND FOR HOW LONG? i’ve been in wisconsin my whole life of 24 years. lived in my hometown all the way til i moved to college. after i finished college i decided to stay in the town i went to college in for work purposes

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHERE YOU LIVE? the different options around town of where to shop, eat, and other fun things to do

4. WHAT DID YOU LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN? the lake. i love the fact that the lake was only a 5 minute drive and i was able to go there whenever i wanted. but also, the memories of the town.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? not anymore

6. WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST PET’S NAME? thumperlina for my big fat brown bunny

7. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

8. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? i watch a lot of movies so i dont really have a favorite

9. FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE PAST 5 YEARS? avengers infinity war. avengars endgame, crazy rich asians, knives out, and maleficent 1 and 2

10. WHAT’S A MOVIE THAT YOU LAUGHED THE HARDEST DURING? ouf, i dont remember

11. WHAT’S A MOVIE YOU CRIED THE HARDEST DURING? avengars, crazy rich, and also while you were sleeping but that’s a drama

12. WHAT’S THE BEST-ANIMATED MOVIE EVER CREATED? the good dinosaur

13. FAVORITE TV SHOW? my two all-time favorites are one tree hill and the office

14. FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT IS CURRENTLY ON? chicago pd and fire

15. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? olive garden?

16. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicken alfredo, really good sushi, fried rice, curry

17. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD? any seafood --> shrimp, oysters, clams

18. WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA? pineapple and ham. hahaha yes, im that kind of person

19. FAVORITE BEVERAGE? coffee, strawberry lemondae

20. FAVORITE DESSERT? cheesecake or red velvet cake

21. IS THERE A DESSERT YOU DON’T LIKE? pumpkin pie

22. CAKE OR PIE? cake!

23. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? mackinaw island fudge, mint chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake

24. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONDIMENT? honey mustard

25. WHAT DO YOU GET FOR BRUNCH? crepes with nutella and strawberries

26. IT’S 4 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT DO YOU EAT? fried noodles with two poached eggs

27. WHAT ONE THING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ANY GIVEN TIME? eggs

28. WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN? duck and this one indian thing i dont remember

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BAND? one direction and tenth avenue north

30. FAVORITE SOLO ARTIST? liam payne, harry styles, niall horan, louis tomlinson, zayn malik. hahaha and ed sheeran, halsey,

31. FAVORITE NONLIVING MUSICIAN? --

32. FAVORITE LYRICS? “and if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you” “baby im falling. head over heels. looking for ways to let you know just how i feel”

33. FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME? theres no way i could choose

34. FAVORITE ALBUM? again ^^

35. WHAT’S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? currently singing like to the “while you were sleeping” ost right now “it’s you” by henry

36. IF YOUR LIFE WERE A SONG WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE? beauty in disguise

37. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE CAUGHT DANCING ALONE TO? any of my current favorites right now

38. IF YOU COULD SING A DUET WITH SOMEBODY WHO WOULD IT BE? halsey. that would be so cool

39. IF YOU COULD MASTER ONE INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? guitar

40. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? ugh, i hate karaoke

41. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? probably back when i was rereading one of the “to all the boys i’ve loved” trilogy

42. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU PLAN ON READING? prayer by tim keller. i just ordered it online and it should be coming in on monday

43. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS READING IT? twilight series. haha

44. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT POSITIVELY SHAPED YOU? mhmm...i dont remember. not that it posititive shaped me but the great gatsby was really interesting. also, when i was student teaching, i read number the stars with my kids and it was a great historical fiction book to read

45. WHAT’S A BOOK IN SCHOOL THAT YOU HATED? i didnt hate it, but there was this one book we read in ap lit and as a project, my friends made the movie version of it

46. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? to all the boys trilogies

47. WHAT’S A BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN? ^^

48. DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE? i like both but if i had to choose, then dark

49. UNDERWATER OR OUTER SPACE? underwater like in a submarine or something were i knew i was safe

50. DOGS OR CATS? dogs for sure

51. KITTENS OR PUPPIES? ohh, puppies of course

52. DOLPHINS OR KOALAS? dolphins! i really wanted to swim with dolphins when i was in florida but it didnt work out in our schedule

53. BIRD WATCHING OR WHALE WATCHING? whale watching

54. WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL? i dont really know. probably a sea otter. haha theyre so chill and they stick around with their peeps

55. TO BE OR NOT TO BE? aint that the question to be answered

56. IPHONE OR ANDROID? iphone

57. TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM? insta

58. VINE OR SNAPCHAT? snap. i never had a vine but i remember watching a few vines. well i guess tik tok is the new vine now

59. WHO SHOULD EVERYONE BE FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW? Jesus. haha kidding not kidding

60. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE APP? WEBSITE? probably youtube

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych

62. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych and math

63. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ap lit

64. WHAT SUBJECT WOULD YOU TEACH IN SCHOOL? psych or a lower level math class

65. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL? enjoy what you love doing as much as you can

66. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF AT 13? girl, be confident. you are beautiful. you are smart. and you are enough. dont worry about what others think and dont worry about the future because i got you.

67. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′0

68. WHO IS YOUR FASHION ICON? eh, no one really

69. WHAT’S YOU FAVORITE FASHION TREND? well since right now is fall, i really like long cardigan with cute booties

70. WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE IN YOUR BAG (BESIDES PHONE AND WALLET)? phone charger, hand sanitizer, and a mask. haha oh covid days

71. WHAT IS A CURRENT TREND YOU HOPE DOESN’T EXIST IN 100 HUNDRED YEARS? masks

72. WHAT’S YOUR MUST HAVE FASHION ACCESSORY? eyebrows done? haha my clothing fashion is pretty simple so i dont really have accessories but maybe a watch i guess

73. HEELS OR FLATS? depends. on a day to day then flats but for special occasions then heels

74. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? eh, i guess i like both

75. BLOW-DRY OR AIR-DRY? usually air dry unless i need to be ready asap

76. WHAT COLOR DRESS DID YOU WEAR TO PROM? i didnt really attend my high school dances. my first and last hs dance was homecoming and that was only because i was on the homecoming court. i wore a red strapless dress

77. FAVORITE COCKTAIL? sex on the beach, mimosas, strawberry daiquiris, margaritas

78. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER AT STARBUCKS? white chocolate mocha. either hot or iced depending on the weather

79. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. i tried to drink more tea but i always resort back to coffee. haha

80. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? i usually make my coffee at home. i just put in a mocha or caramel kcup then add in creamer. some days i’ll add in half and half or some chocolate/caramel syrup

81. WHO IS A PERSON YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? megan markle. odd but why not

82. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? general vang pao

83. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANY HISTORICAL DECADE, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE? probably the 90s

84. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY TO VISIT? havent left mine yet. haha

85. WHAT’S THE LAST COUNTRY YOU VISITED? my own. haha

86. WHAT’S A COUNTRY YOU WISH TO VISIT? somewhere in the east. maybe like france or italy or korea or taiwan

87. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STATE TO VISIT? florida

88. WHAT’S THE LAST STATE YOU VISITED? michigan

89. WHAT’S A STATE YOU WISH TO VISIT? colorado, new york, california

90. WHAT’S THE BEST VACATION SPOT? bora bora! ouuu someday for me i hope!

91. WHERE DOES ONE GO ON A PERFECT ROAD TRIP? honestly, anywhere. just gather your friends, pack up, stock up, and drive

92. FAVORITE CITY? right now, probably orlando

93. PILATES OR YOGA? i like both but if i had to choose then yoga

94. JOGGING OR SWIMMING? swimming!

95. FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? ugh, at home

96. LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? at the gym lifting weight. i always feel so awkward

97. BEST WAY TO DECOMPRESS? shower, then dinner and movie in bed with a glass of wine

98. WHAT’S THE BEST FIRST DATE IDEA? dinner and a drive to a fun spot

99. WHAT’S LOVE? genuine love towards someone regardless of their flaws, always

100. MAJOR TURN ON? neck kisses, vlines, touching

101. MAJOR TURN OFF? bad hygiene, rudeness, cockiness

102. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING A GUY HAS DONE OR SAID TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU? stalk my facebook and screen shot my old posts and send them to me OR ignoring my non-subtle hints that i have a boyfriend and do not want to hangout alone to “netflix and chill”

103. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM? their smile and personality and how they made me feel

104. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? nah

105. BEST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED? im not really a big gift person but my mom gave me a micheal kors winter jacket

106. LAST GIFT YOU GAVE A FRIEND? i bought some baby shower gifts to my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law’s baby, baby Grace :)

107. BEST GIFT TO GET FOR SOMEONE? like a generic gift? probably wine or a watch depending on the occasion

108. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD? my boyfriend coming to visit me last christmas because i was so stress out and i thought we were suppose to meet up around christmas but he had his own plans that i was not aware of which then made me even more stress when i found out his plans but overall it was a very nice surprise and definitely helped me destress afterwards

109. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? white

110. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? probably brown

111. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FLOWER? i dont think i have one

112. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? dont have one either

113. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTION STAR? chris evans, tom holland

114. BEST SUPERHERO CREATED? captain america

115. IF YOU HAD ONE SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? to teleport

116. WHAT’S YOUR KRYPTONITE? too much snow. haha

117. BIGGEST PHOBIA? deep waters and heights

118. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? dont have one

119. FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER? ^^

120. FAVORITE HOLIDAY? christmas

121. WHAT’S YOUR BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME? a dead bride. haha

122. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLOT-TWIST? whenever my favorite characters in a tv show gets killed off

123. IF YOU COULD DO A FLASH-MOB WHERE WOULD IT BE? new york, like how cliche and iconic that would be

124. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING IN YOUR BEDROOM? my pineapple lamp

125. IF YOU GOT A TATTOO WHERE WOULD IT BE? probably on my side or somewhere on my arm

126. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD? shiiiiiiiiiit

127. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? exploding kittens not really a board game but close enough

#beautyindisguise00 #gettoknowme #q&a #survey #questionnaire

1 note · View note

szopenhauer · 4 years ago

Text

have you got any brothers or sisters who annoy you? my sister annoys me indeed

as a younger teenager, did you have any older guys/girls hit on you? as a teenager nobody hit on me

would you ever want to be changed into a vampire? doubt it, the only thing that would truly interest me about it is immortality which isn’t actually living forever as even sun can kill you and knowing my luck that would happen fast

does the thought of dying give you cold chills? kinda how many times has someone called you boring, if ever? several times because I don’t travel, I don’t party, I don’t like sports and out of some other reasons has anyone ever told you that you had “so many” months to live? not exactly as a teen, were you trusted to be alone with a boyfriend/girlfriend? as a teen I had no real bf/gf do your parents both have a job? my mom’s retired already are you currently unemployed? if not, what’s your job? I am where do you belong? nowhere?... were you anyone’s first kiss? I was what is the color of your cellular telephone? black what color are your gloves/mittens? I have few pairs when was the last time you listened to the radio; and do you remember which song was the last you heard on there? not counting online radio that I still rarely listen to (usually just during Christmas time, that special playlist on rmf) - years and I don’t remember the last song because I didn’t think it will be the last one and that just made me sad do you think English the hardest language to learn? noooo do you clean under your nails with safety pins? I use toothpicks how long after your shower do you walk around naked, or in your towel, until you decide to get dressed? I get dressed right away does it bother you that so many people start going out like a week or two before valentine’s day, as if it’s just because they don’t want to be alone? that’s really lame, I’m sorry for them what do(es) you(r mom) grow in your garden? lots of stuff what do you think of facial piercings? meh, some are ugly, some are ok did your shoe laces come with your shoes? yeah but they still have zippers as I wouldn’t bother to own shoes with just laces do you have any cds you bought at the concert?. never bought a CD at the concert what does your second oldest sibling do for a living? I have only one sibling and what she does is not your business (pun intended) are there any beanie babies with your birthday? Beanie Boos Carrots - rabbit - style 36031 Julep - monkey - style 36056 Pashun - dog - style 36206 Beanie Babies Bunga Raya - bear - style 4615 - (birth year 2002) Dewi Y Ddraig - dragon - style 46157 - (birth year 2010) D'Vine - monkey - style 40767 - (birth year 2008) Flower - meerkat - style 46155 - (birth year 2010) Niles - camel - style 4284 -(birth year 2000) Peace - bear - style 4053 - (birth year 1996) Peepers - bushbaby - style 40795 - (birth year 2009) TOUR Teddy - bear - style 40347 - (birth year 2006) Teenie Beanie Boppers Terrific Tessa - style 0334 Boppers Lovely Lily - style 0223

what color is your cat? it was all black with yellow eyes

do you own any buddha? nooo, why would I do you know what color hazel really is? .. my eyes? XD what color is your toaster? don’t own one what color is your webcam? white but I don’t use it as I have no mic, I tried to buy one but they never work so I prefer to use my cellphone as a cam instead do you have anything real gold? I think I still own that one tiny item (necklace with the letter Z) and if I do I will probably sell it

Do you own any adult colouring books? those gimme anxiety When was the last time you got some new headphones? mine are about 5 years old

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I don’t :o

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. pears

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. it has the Stranger things villain on it behind the room with no. 11

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? of course, if you don’t - I hate you!

Are you expecting a package right now? am not

What is one thing you hate about summer? mosquitos for an example

Did you go outside today? just our garden

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? yup

Do you have a book that you’ve read multiple times? I never reread books

Do you enjoy babysitting? ugh...

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? I used to like Cierpienia młodego Wertera - that was stupid of me

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? in pre-school

What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you? my own apartment

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? I believe

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? being a kid

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? nope

Do you enjoy bonfires? they were fine

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? couple of times

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? that would be me...

What color are your bedroom walls? green and yellow

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? I tried...

Have you been bullied? all of my school years basically

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? I have no talent

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? both slow and fast

Who do you know who has died of cancer? my aunt that I didn’t really know

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? couple of times, once even almost entire month, long story (stories actually)

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? hahaha

Have you ever been a victim of racism? I’m white so not really

Did you go to prom? nah

Are you an aunt or uncle? yep

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? I’ve always been and it only got worse

Life isn’t fair. True or false? it seems

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. born rich

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? more

Do you pray a lot? not enough

Have you ever used an epi pen? hope I won’t have to

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? HS didn’t have big bullies but for me that was A.L.

How many kids do you want to have? 0

Do you want to get married? hmm...

Best date you’ve been on? dunno

Dream date? *shrug*

Ever kissed someone on New Year’s? never

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? other kind of suffering

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? life/world so God I guess

are you in love with llamas? they’re cool

do you like hats? beanies and those winter ones in animal shapes

have you ever had surgery? not yet

do you have an enemy? some I call this way

do you want to save the trees? yes

what size shoe do you wear? 38-39

do you cook? I do not

do you like taking pictures? at times

pink flamingos? cute for the garden :3

do you like spiders? I don’t mind them

do you own an mp3 player? but I don’t use it anymore, not even sure if it still works

why are you hitting yourself? self harm

what’s your mom’s name? personal

what about your dad? same

have you ever won anything? yep

is revenge sweet? in movies might be and sometimes I laugh when ppl get what they deserve, sorry not sorry?

have you ever had someone lie for you so you wouldn’t get in trouble? sort of

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob

do you like night or day better? night

do you like finding nemo? nooo

plaid or polka dots? why not stripes?

have you ever done yoga? a bit

what posters do you have on your wall? no posters

do you wear dresses a lot? noooo

how many school dances have you been to? all of them besides prom

can you swim? can’t

don’t you just want to mass murder all barbie dolls? why? :o

who was the last person you were under a blanket with? my gf

name something great that happened today? for example - Choices chapters were great

who was the last person’s voice you heard? mom’s

did you speak to your mother today? of course

what color is your hair? naturally dark brown

when was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? online or irl?

how did you wake up this morning? by myself

how many letters are in your last name? 11

do you still talk to the last person you kissed? in general because at this very moment she’s asleep

do you believe that everything happens for a reason? not everything

do you ever pretend to text/talk on the phone when you’re in public? yeah have you ever had spinach? if not, would you ever want to? I ate it before don’t you hate when the wires pop out of your bra and poke you all day? my bra has no wires am i the only one who likes to go grocery shopping? you’re not alone

is anything wrong with your eyes? possibly do you ever write notes on your hand? used to last time you cried? why? I was moved by the game on my cellphone

when is the last time you were in a swimming pool? in middle school have you ever fallen backwards on a chair? I don’t recall what do you feel like watching? nothing atm do you ever try to write with your non-dominant hand? with feet too who makes you laugh the most? my gf and my dad who starred in your last dream? besides me - no one that I know do you regret doing something today? maybe do you think you’re old? I’m not but I often feel like I am are you afraid of the dark? at home only - especially mirrors and windows in the dark are scary

sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? not a particular person have you ever told anyone you were ok when you really weren’t? it’s bad but I did that before do you talk a lot? do I?

which member of your family are you closest to? dad

would you ever apply to be on reality tv? doubt it do you have a hard time letting things go? I guess have you ever struggled with your weight? slightly when you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? depends do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? whatever in high school did you have a lot of friends? do you still keep in touch? group and not really at what age did you get your period? 13? fuzzy socks: yay or nay? yay

When was the last time you held a puppy? years ago

Was the person that last slept over at your house a boy or girl? girl Who’s name first comes to mind that starts with the letter “P”? Paulina and Patrycja

Do you have any kind of jewelry on at the moment? not at the moment Would you say you use “lol” too often? get used to this!

When was the last time you vacuumed a room? I mop the floor

You can only shop at one store for the rest of your life, what store is it? but food? :o

Have you ever donated to a cause? yup

0 notes

rtirman-blog · 7 years ago

Text

17 From Girls to Glory

When I was a junior in high school, physically, I was a little boy, and gutless when it came to girls. I remember sitting in a car with my dream girl, Linda Larriar, fearful of moving. Today when I think about it, she may have been as scared as I was. All I could think about was putting my arm around her and attempting to kiss her. I was overcome by fear knowing she would throw me out of the car if I made a move. Actually, I was frozen, not knowing what to move or how to move it. We sat in her dad's car for over two hours. The kiss never happened. However, I did get to kiss Linda...the following year.

I had a date with Nancy Jones, a girl who was smaller than me, to attend a Halloween party. My best friend, John, was taking Linda to the same party. I told him about my undying love for Linda. Since he didn't really have the “hots” for Linda and he thought Nancy was cute, we traded dates without consulting the girls. Little did John or I know that Nancy had a crush on me. She was looking forward to spending time with me. As for Linda, she was happy with the swap because she liked me more than John, or (now as I write this) maybe she hated Nancy.

I can't say I had the greatest time at the party. We ducked for bobbing apples and other Halloween games of the day, of which I have no recall. During the entire party, I was obsessed with how the end of the evening would go. Would I have to kiss her? Oh, I wanted to, but would I have the nerve? What would she think of me if I try? What would she think of me if I didn't try? Would she think I was queer? (gay meant happy, in1953). That was a lot to think about. Probably it is responsible for my present amnesia about the party games.

Nancy was pissed the entire evening. Linda was having a great time. Finally, we left for home in John's car. He dropped Linda and me off. I assumed he would be driving to his "death" with Nancy. I lived about 5 blocks from Linda's house. So I would walk home after I said my amorous goodnight to Linda.

Anyway, we get to her front door. The light was on- definitely a sign her parents could be lurking behind the curtains. We stood face-to-face. Well, I might have been on my tippy-toes. Our faces were magically drawn to each other…closer and closer…ecstasy was near! And then, there was a head-on collision! Our noses clashed. Ouch! It looked like I needed to turn my head and go forward…there could be no retreating…which way do I turn my head?…to the right...No, she's turning left…left-bang noses-right-bang noses-left…stay left…AHA…our lips touched. She pressed her lips so hard on my mouth, I thought my teeth would cut through my skin. This girl REALLY likes me!

All of a sudden she got her arms around me…OMG, she's giving me a bear hug…and it is painful. So here I am with the girl of my dreams- she's squeezing the life out of me, and I can't breathe because her lips are pressing as hard as a trash compactor. Oh, it was agonizing! She had her knuckles digging in to the small of my back! As I look back on it, there was no time to worry about an erection…God knows what she would have done with that. The irony of it all is that I kissed the girl of my dreams, it was my first real romantic kiss … and it was an horrendous ordeal.

After that night and through my teens, I kissed more girls, but not that many of them. Although I didn't understand much about girls and relationships, I think I was looking for love…not sex. I was certain no girl that I thought was beautiful would ever give me a chance. I "suffered" many lonely moments. I never, ever, felt comfortable around girls. There always was fear and challenge. I was 5'1" at the time of my HS graduation. I went through my freshman year at college not yet physically mature. I was convinced I would never grow and never find love.

The annual Red Cross, Seniors versus Faculty, basketball game was about a week away and I was getting pumped. This would be my chance to show everyone that I should have been on the varsity that year. Mr. Terry should not have cut me. It happened on the last day of tryouts. There was no questions about it, each time I got to show my stuff at practice, I did pretty good. I was sure I was going to make the team. At the end of the practice right before he chose the players who made the team, Mr. Terry had us sit along the small wall that went the length of the court. Mr. Terry was standing at center court talking to us. He wasn’t looking my way, but I could hear him pretty good. “I’m proud of all of you boys and how hard you’ve worked to make the team,” he began. “This is a very difficult decision I have to make. Some of you are seasoned ball players. But if I have a freshman of equal ability, I must choose the freshman for the development sake of the team”. . . and in the same breath I could hear him say, “Sorry, Rich.” He didn’t look at me when he said it and I wasn’t sure he said it – maybe I imagined it.

But then he turned toward me with a sorry look, and everyone else was looking at me. I walked directly across the gym floor straight for the locker room without looking back. I couldn’t believe it. I was a better basketball player than most of the guys who made the team. I think Mr. Terry just thought I was too small. I was small But that didn’t mean I couldn’t play basketball.

Ever since I learned to play basketball, I’ve been tops at it. I remember a shot I took against the Columbus grade school team. They had the best 5th - 6th grade team in the town. I can remember that I didn’t start because I was a 5th grader, and I can’t rightfully say who won the game. But I do remember that shot to this day. It was late in the game, and I was on the court. I got the ball outside the right side of the key. I dribbled down the side almost to the end line and then moved to my left toward the basket. Their center reached up to block the impending layup. I let the ball go underhanded and under his arm. That ball just went up and over the rim. SWISH! I could hear everyone cheer. I knew it was a great shot. It must have impressed them plenty.

Playing basketball was just natural for me. My specialty was lay ups. If I got the ball inside, watch out! Off the backboard, and into the basket! I played basketball about every night the gyms were open. Usually each night one of the grade school gyms was open. Since my mother wasn’t around and my father worked nights, my brother, Mickey, and I would be at whatever gym was open.

At some point in my career, a Roger’s father organized the Freeport Eagles to compete with teams in the area. It wasn’t a league. It was just playing other teams who wanted to play against the Eagles. I was on the team, but I didn’t start. I should’ve started. But since Roger’s father was coach, Roger started.

Now that absolutely pissed off my brother Al. He decided we ought to organize our own team. He could coach us, and Mickey and I would be on the team, and we would be starters! We recruited several other guys and made a team. Since Al was an avid fan of Easy Ed McCauley, of the St. Louis Billikens, we became the Freeport Billikens. I can remember us buying iron-on letters and pressing “Billikens” across our t-shirts. We made our own uniforms.

We played the Eagles three times that year, and whipped them each time. Those games were very satisfying, and they pumped me with pride. It was a great rivalry. I remember our last game. It was close. During the third quarter, I was getting a rest on the bench. Al was getting aggravated because Jimmy Morrow, the Eagles’ center was scoring too many “goddamn” points. He signaled Mickey to do something stupid to Morrow that would get Morrow so angry he would, in return, do something stupid. The plan was to get Morrow thrown out of the game. Mickey just couldn’t get himself to do something dirty to Morrow. After all, they were friends off court. In fact, we were all friends off court. But now, we were on court and Mickey was doing nothing. Al was getting furious. I told Al that I’d do it as long as nothing would happen to me. He assured me that he wouldn’t let a soul touch me. So back into the game I went. As soon as I got my chance, when the ref wasn’t looking, I hauled off and punched Morrow in the stomach. All hell broke loose, and Jim came after me. But before he reached me, Al was between us. Al let Jim know that if he even tried to lay one hand on me, that he’d kick his ass. Now, Jim didn’t get thrown out, nor did I. That’s because the ref didn’t see the infraction. But the incident must have shaken up Morrow… his game went to shit, and we won it. We must have played 12 games that year, and I was the second highest scorer on our team. I knew I was good. Now, the Annual Red Cross Game was my chance to show everybody in the junior-senior high school, including the faculty, that I should have been playing for the varsity team.

The week before the game, Mickey and I visited just about every homeroom in the whole school 7th-12th grades. Mickey was a big football star, and the students really liked him. Together we pumped up the entire school. We wanted a big crowd there.

There were about 20 seniors who showed up for practice. The rule was that everyone had to play. So we divided up into four teams. I was on the 4th quarter team. The idea was that as long as we could stay even with the faculty through three quarters, we’d come in and mop the floor with them in the 4th quarter.

The day of the game came and students were beginning to pile in. We were warming up at one end of the court while the faculty was at the other end. That gym was one of the biggest on Long Island. It held about 1,000 seats, and just about every one of them was taken. I never played before such a large crowd. It was scary and exciting. The game got underway and so did the faculty. They showed no mercy on our 1st quarter team. We began worrying that if they got too far ahead, we’d never be able to catch them. The faculty dominance continued into the 2nd quarter. All of us on the bench were complaining to our student coach that we had to change our strategy. We needed our best five ball players in there now, or it will be disastrous. Naturally, I was one of the five best ball players. We called a time out. Mickey and I and three other guys went in to bring us back into striking distance. The students were cheering because they knew the best ball players were coming in to change things. You know something? This wasn’t like “Casey at bat”, who disappointed the crowd. We started to pound them. I made three lay-ups in a row and I got fouled attempting another one. I went to the line aware of all the students watching. I could feel tension all over my body as I let the first free throw go-SWISH and the crowd went nuts. I bounced the ball and lined up the second free throw with just as much tension in my being. I let the ball go, and again—SWISH and the noise of the crowd. We were catching up, and I was a huge part of it with my quick eight points. Mr. Terry, the varsity coach, was the referee. I’ll bet he was saying to himself “I should have put Richie on the team. Wow, did I ever make a mistake.”

While I was standing near the sideline waiting for one of my teammates to shoot a couple of foul shots, Freddy Feldman was near enough to me to let me know I was playing a hell of a game. Freddy was about the best basketball player on Long Island, and he never paid much attention to me before. So I knew I was close to hero status.

The faculty was getting more frustrated and aggressive. I stole the ball. Before I knew it, there were at least four faculty members fouling me to get the ball back. Mr. Terry wasn’t blowing his whistle, but they were fouling me at will to get the ball back. The students were screaming. Finally, the whistle! “Jump ball,” called Mr. Terry. “Jump ball? I was fouled.” How could he have called a jump ball? The students were booing loudly. I should have been at the foul line. But the call was made, and we started walking toward the center court. Mr. Terry was walking beside me. He had the game ball in his hands. As calmly as I could, I asked if I could just see the ball for a second. He handed it to me. Ha- a mistake on his part! I punted that ball straight up high toward the top of the gym. Actually, that ball didn’t go straight to the top of the gym, but went straight up to a window 30 feet above the gym floor. It didn’t break the window because the shade covering the window got in the way. In a flash, that shade rolled up with a bang! The students went bananas. The cheers were deafening. I have no memory as to who won that game.

I got thrown out of the game. I took the same walk I took the day when I didn’t make the varsity team. I could hear boos of disapproval over my ejection, but I was too ashamed to look back. I didn’t prove to anyone that I should have been on the varsity. I think I proved the opposite… I was a hot head, and I proved it that day.

2 notes · View notes

tenpercentsugar · 7 years ago

Note

1-100 gibby

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?uhhh yuh

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?uhhhh nah

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?mind reading easily i would love to know what everyone thinks but i’d only like to be able to read minds when i want to, not like constantly

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?nope bc i dont have a plan for that

5. Tell us some funny drunk story.one time me and dani left a get together in white pigeon early to get drunk very fast before they all came from the get together to the house and i got super wasted, wall twerked, then threw up and died as soon as everyone got there

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?if i had one i could give an answer

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? quickly, in my sleep, when i’m very old

8. What are your current goals?get a job in a mental health facility, fall in love w a dude w a good job, have a cute ass baby

9. Do you like someone?no i aint got tiiiiiiiime

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?next question!!

11. Do you like your body?no bitch fuck i look like

12. Can you keep a diet?i have never tried to have a healthy diet but if you mean can i keep a diet of tbell constantly then hell yeah

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?BE NICE!!!

14. Do you work?every weekday

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?mac and cheese dude

16. Would you get a tattoo?i already have and i would totally get more

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?gas for my car cuz i loooove to drive

18. Can you drive?yeah!!

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?yesterday but it was family so 🙄

20. What was the last thing you cried for?i have no idea what even triggered it i just had a huuuuuge panic attack ive never felt so crazy

21. Do you keep a journal?no i wish :-(

22. Is life fun?it can be!! is really up to you

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?yeah sure but theres still some fucks out there who would keep in relevant. i might be one of those fucks lowkey

24. What’s your dream car?a nissan cuz i love how touchy their brakes are

25. Are grades in school important?yeah bro the system is fucked up and teaches you nothing but grades get you into college if thats your goal

26. Describe your crush.WHO

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?guardians of the galaxy vol. 2

28. What was your last lie?i cant tell ya!

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? i can’t remember at all bro i used to lie all the time so it could be a multitude of things

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?yes i hate doing it i prevent it as much as possible

31. Something you did and you are proud of?got clean

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?i have never drank a cocktail i just mostly drink beer hahaha

33. Something you are good at?editing papers hmu if you want me to proofread yo shit!

34. Do you like small kids?i work w them 5/7 days so i kinda have to but also yes

35. How are you feeling right now?nervous bc i need to use the bathroom but i don’t want jake hallman to see me look this crazy but he also could not even be here anymore and i just have no clue

36. What would you name your daughter/son?i have plenty of girl names in mind but boy names are super fuckin hard bc every boy name is a common boy name and the unique ones are too weird

37. What do you need to be happy?my mom and hella money

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?not right now, im not in the mood

39. What was the last gift you received?25 dollars cash for my bday

40. What was the last gift you gave?its been a while since i gave a gift

41. What was the last concert you went to?warped tour but today im going to a concert actually

42. Favourite place to shop at?i don’t even shop anymore but i guess for groceries, meijer. clothes, old navy.

43. Who inspires you?the gurls on my fb who lost hella weight after hs

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?16

45. How old were you when you first got high?17

46. How old were you when you first had sex?prolly around 30

47. When was your first kiss?never had one

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?stay clean and thats really it

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?oh definitely pretty much all of 2016

50. Post a selfie.http://deathchamp.tumblr.com/tagged/me

51. Who are you most comfortable around?taylor and ash for sure. theyre my OGs, theyve seen me in the weirdest phases of my life, ive got nothing to lose now

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.dying too early, not living enough of a life

53. What kind of books do you read?true crime, jodi picoult, and some young adult when i wanna read something without thinking too hard

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?none of these people matter, their opinions don’t matter, get better friends, quit worrying about boys you don’t even want to date them!!

55. What is your favourite flower?hydrangea

56. Any bad habits you have?i smoke cigs still! cuz i’m really fuckin dumb!

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?i dont even know anymore!! i dont know my type!!

58. What was the last thing you cried for?okay since i already kinda answered this, another time i cried recently was when i watched hella adoption surprise videos

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?you mean…every food damn near?

60. Are you in love?not w anything right now

61. Something you find romantic?any kind of surprise honestly like flowers sent to your work without warning type shit. not from like anybody tho hahaha like it gotta be from your SO

62. How long was your longest relationship? when

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?i don’t really wanna make blanket statements so this gurl on twit’s been annoying me bc she’s judgmental, claims it is childish to handle beef in private, AND she’s preachy

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? again, no blanket statements bih but this other dude on twit who i have muted af irritates me bc he’s holier than thou and has all of life’s answers, has the worst kind of sarcasm where its like laced w bitterness all the time, and he types properly like…all the time which i think he does to assert his intelligence. annoying

65. What are you saving money for?uhhh rent hahaha

66. How would you describe your bad side?i dont really have a good side i just have a little clout

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?yeah like at my core i think i’m a good person but like literally everyone else i’m capable of mean shit

68. What are you living for?my mom and thas really about it

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?yeah like everyday but nothin on like a felony scale

70. Do you like your body?no tf

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?yeah but it was an argument in which they were also trying to make me feel bad

72. Ever sent nudes?hellll noooo

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?nah bro how would that even be possible

74. Favourite candy?take 5, all day everyday

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!i don’t check blogs anymore

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?no i used to when i was a kid tho!

77. Favourite TV series?bob’s burgers, that 70s show, one tree hill, law and order: svu, grounded for life

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?i am not religious so i have no clue. hes never come to me

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?i can’t even remember. that annoys me so bad i wanna read again

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?i support it! i would be terrified to do it bc i am SUCH a picky eater i would have to eat like only potatoes to survive

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?five long years

82. Do you like Chineese food?i havent tried most of it but from what i have, no

83. McDonalds or Subway?subway i damn near never wanna go to mcdonalds ever again

84. Vodka or whiskey?neither just this question made me wanna throw up

85. Alcohol or drugs?drugs

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?i’ve only ever been out of state but i’d love to go out of country

87. Meaning behind your blog name?i was listening to cherry bomb heavy and i loved deathcamp so i thought this was a cool play on words taha

88. What are you scared of?everything, next question

89. Last time you were insulted?can’t even remember. i told you i have a little clout

90. Most traumatic experience ?losing christian. fucked me up really bad

91. Perfect date idea?amusement park/water park. thats my ideal and i will not rest until it happens

92. Favourite app on your phone?twitter and finstagram all the time, tumblr and reddit when i’m high

93. What colour are the walls in your room?beige

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?i do! i love youtube! sarah baska and ashlynn tapp are who i look for when i get on

95. Share your favourite quote.keep calm and carry on, duh

96. What is the meaning of life?to improve. your life, the lives around you, your community, and especially the greater good of the world. basically if you’re not trying to grow you might as well be dead

97. Do you like horror movies?uhhhh no bye

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?all throughout my life. what happened was i bait the fuck out of her constantly

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way?no i have no reason to do that

100. Can you keep a secret?yeah i’m not a monster

#ask

1 note · View note