#which is not the same thing and doesn’t pack the same punch imo

[elizabeth-dicewielder]

Okay to clarify: I don’t really think any of them belong below B tier but I wanted to fill every tier with at least one arrangement so here’s my list. Explanation of my rankings below the cut

S tier: these are in a very specific order, I will not budge that these are the top 3.

Melody of Memory’s arrangement is iconic. I listened to it on repeat for months after the track’s release. Using an orchestra for a jazz arrangement is very, very impressive when done well and this is done fucking well

Union X’s arrangement has this ostinato in the strings that I am absolutely obsessed with that people seem to overlook. I really feel like this arrangement is the perfect use of a traditional orchestra. Also opening the app and hearing that is so nostalgic

Union X credits has a lot of the same stuff as the beginning arrangement, but it gives really good finale vibes. There’s a section that makes a call to the dream eater’s theme, and overall it just really packs in the “these were children and this is the end for them” punch

A tier: these ones I could somewhat be persuaded to rearrange within the tier.

Kingdom Hearts 2: when I think of Dearly Beloved, this is what I hear. It has all of the main themes, it sounds so smooth and put-together. It really feels like The Standard Dearly Beloved

Kingdom Hearts 1: pretty much the same logic as KH2. It only has one of the themes which I enjoy for the uniqueness which is why it’s in such a high tier and the ocean sounds are a great touch. Very nostalgic. I only put KH2’s higher because it sounds more polished, and I personally like that sound a little more

Kingdom Hearts 2 reprise and Kingdom Hearts 1 reprise have the same KH2 is just barely better to me than KH1 reasoning. I think these 2 reprises are just really good end-of-game tracks. You just beat the final boss, congrats, have some calming music and your stats. I can hear these and instantly picture the stats page

Days: just… incredible. I’m not as familiar with this particular version since I’m currently playing Days for the first time, otherwise it might have been higher.

B tier: this is where things start to get a bit iffy for me. I could be persuaded into moving these around even into higher or lower tiers

Forest memory: I didn’t remember this one that well so when I listened to it again I wasn’t really expecting much, but it’s way better than I was expecting. I really feel like it encapsulates the memory vibes perfectly, and its orchestration is gorgeous. The only reason it didn’t make it into A tier is because it just wasn’t initially memorable enough to me

BBS and DDD the Next Adventure: just solid good arrangements. There were a couple unique moments in them that stuck out to me which is why they’re in B tier

BBS a Link to the Future: I have mixed feelings on this one. It handles its name really well, prefacing the era of Sora, Riku, and Kairi in a very hopeful way after a devastating ending. That said, I think there could have been a little more melancholy to it

KH3: My opinions on this have changed dramatically over the years. When it first came out I loved it, but now it just… doesn’t sound very good to me for whatever reason. I put it here to appease both my past and present selves

C tier: this is where I start feeling guilty lol. They’re not bad they just don’t stand out to me as much

Unchained X: this is almost in B tier. It has a lot of similar themes as Union X, I just felt like it should have been… more foreboding or something

Chain of Memories: there’s a certain dissonance to it that I think works really well to suit the plot of the game, but that doesn’t mean I like the sound. Like it’s the perfect arrangement for the game, genuinely. I just don’t really want to listen to it

X Back Cover: this DEFINITELY should have been more sad or foreboding imo. It just felt so standard for the series to me. Something as insane as the Master of Masters theme is also in this, but this is the Dearly Beloved we get? Felt a bit like a ripoff. That said I do really enjoy how it sounds and a few unique motifs

D tier: again I don’t think these are actually worthy of D tier, but something had to go there and they’re my least favorites

Re:Coded: same logic as CoM. Perfect for the game. I don’t like it though

DDD: I like the sound of it, but it just felt so boring compared to everything else. With every other arrangement I could identify some unique quality, even if I didn’t like that quality. But this just had nothing to me (though I might just be salty because people were calling it a waltz in the YouTube comments when it’s literally not a waltz)

Dearly Beloved variants ranker... is this anything

[pop-punklouis]

-

[bowie-boy]

NOTES: For the first eleven episodes of Community I wasn’t keeping track of trans Jeff moments but I will when I rewatch. I also starred the key trans Jeff episodes (imo of course)

Without further ado...

Every transcoded Jeff Winger moment (I can remember) because he’s a trans man:

1x12*

getting punched in the face is his “male rite of passage” according to Pierce

1x14

“I’ve never been someone’s dirty little secret” the fact that he is now?? Transcoded

“I’m afraid of things getting official. If you say it you might later have to UNsay it.” Jeff was definitely terrified of coming out and realizing he was faking it huh

1x17*

Jeff is uncomfortable wearing short shorts in public and wants to wear his own clothes, he gets very uncomfortable when questioned about it

Abed says Jeff is 30% the trans guy from Boys Don’t Cry

Once again! Gets very defensive when accused of being panties

Coping with hypermasculinity is so trans

1x20

“What is THIS Jeff?” “My chest????” “What are you packing in these pants” “guys-“ this entire exchange is trans

1x25

Jeff being so done with tr*nny dance

That moment of him and Troy with the trans cookie in the same frame >>>

2x01

“An old drinking buddy who may or may not have had a sex change” makes Jeff cut Abed off and ask questions, I think he got nervous

2x03*

Blood test at a physical! Testosterone

2x06

Jeff is very protective over his suit

2x07

Jeff and Troy laughing about Y chromosomes because they don’t have them 😌 (yes Troy is trans too)

2x08

very proud of his chest, doesn’t want to cover it up at all

Jeff is very quiet during the period conversation

(I’m actually writing a fic about Jeff’s coming out that takes place during this episode)

2x10*

Jeff looking so confused and annoyed when Pierce said “I broke my legs not my gender”

Jeff giving Troy a manhood experience for his birthday!!!

2x12

all the women enter the same bathroom as Jeff

2x15

Pierce reading a supportive speech in case Britta is LGBTQ+ and telling Jeff to “wait for the one” he has for him

2x17

Jeff uses nipple guards when running

2x18*

“Abed...can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone else?”

Jeff had to wear a girl’s costume for Halloween

“Everyone kept saying what a pretty little girl. After a while, I stopped correcting them. What was the point?” Wow TRANS

2x21

“You disqualified yourself from this conversation [about women] the second you decided to grow a wang” “I regret nothing”

3x04

Jeff keeps his toiletries in a safe

3x05

Jeff being a vampire is transcoded I don’t elaborate

3x06* (this is just a great Jeff ep in general)

Threw a gay party and it was great

His dad fucking DISOWNED HIM?????

3x09*

“foosball was just masculine enough to get by without throwing it catching”

Jeff had a pony tail as a kid

“I changed my clothes, my hair, my personality”

“Foosball is how I defined myself as a man”

Jeff wearing a hoodie at the end of the episode?????

3x12*

Jeff “has bad posture and sometimes looks like he has boobs” according to Britta, a statement which made him uncomfortable and deflated his self esteem

Jeff really wants the award for most handsome young man

3x13-14

Flannel

3x17

“A man’s got to have a code. I can only assume a woman has an equivalent to that, like a codette or something” okay trans

3x19

Jeff really doesn’t like being separated from his jackets

4x01

I just think Jeff leading a dance with another man who is in drag is very trans coded okay

4x02

Jeff is so obsessed with his body that he must be a trans man proud of his transition

4x05*

“Jeff’s at the point in his life where he needs a strong father figure to come out to” is this not canon trans man

“You seem like a self made man.” “I mean, I kind of had to be.”

The entire scar thing

Jeff’s stepbrother or half brother or whatever being too “soft” for his father to like?? But Jeff who is hypermasc still not being enough????? Okay canon trans

4x07*

Jeff is really enjoying his manly barber shave

4x10

everyone bought Jeff a hoodie for Christmas

4x11

Jeff is really scared of commitment to things regarding permanent choices or his own identity, maybe he struggled with this for his transition when he was younger

5x04

Jeff “would rather look at himself naked than the people he sleeps with” because he’s proud of his transition

5x07

Jeff and Duncan did a boys’ night! Maybe Duncan knew him before he transitioned and it made Jeff uncomfy until now

5x08

“my penis needs no enlargement” proud of his transition af

5x11*

Jeff is/was obsessed with GI Joe which was like Thee boys’ cartoon

He can’t visualize his future which is trans

They bought him an it’s a boy mug 🥺

6x04

Jeff is really supportive of the dean’s sexuality, literally trans

Like Frankie is basically canonically a lesbian or at least queercoded

The dean is canonically queer

Why else would Jeff be there if not for the fact that he’s trans

6x05

Jeff getting mad when someone says he hits like a girl and taking his shirt off

6x06

Jeff is stressed about his emails being leaked —> he got outed?

6x08

Jeff is really proud of his scenes in the movie, he wants the world to see him fully transitioned and how manly he is

6x10

Jeff hoodie trans

He won’t shut up about cars because he wants to seem big and manly

Also in general his halloween costumes are all hypermasc. I think the study group really helped Jeff feel better about his gender identity and really made him feel safe. Thanks for reading!

[italwayshadtobeyou]

It’s always interesting to me which episodes I find great on a rewatch vs. the first time around. Some of them gain added depth; some of them remain about the same; others just... fall apart. Random examples:

“Pilot” and season 8′s Amelia episodes pack a bigger punch if you’ve seen “Carry On.” Sam will get to have his normal life-- at a price he doesn’t want to pay. It’s bittersweet and beautiful.

I still enjoy the MOTW aspects of “Wendigo” and “Bloody Mary”; however, it irks me to know that the implication that Jess is haunting Sam will never get resolved, or even discussed, in the over three hundred episodes ahead.

While "Swan Song” itself does not become a much better or worse episode (IMO) on rewatch, it does add a dark, delicious note to previous episodes that deal with Sam’s childhood and college acquaintances. Is Becky from Stanford among those possessed-- and, if so, did the demon maybe even set up the case with the skinwalker? What about the nice teacher who encourages Sam to write? Did Rachel Nave really make out with Dean, and if so, did she do it to drive a wedge between the brothers?

Since “angels are basically asexual alien drones who lack a human understanding of individuality, privacy, and the body” is a very different premise than “local MLM stalks straight man,” “Despair” throws a new, perverse, and unintentionally funny light on 11+ years of scenes where Cass violates Dean’s personal boundaries. Does he pop up in the bathroom because he didn’t think about it, or because he has a secret scat fetish? Does he plan to jerk off to the sight of sleeping Dean? Is he always going through the Winchesters’ stuff because he actually needs their MacGuffins, or is it a Joe Goldberg thing?

Season 15′s God-wound arc becomes annoying when you know that Chuck will heal it after 9 episodes, just by talking Sam into hopelessness. I can’t rewatch it-- even the episodes I thought were good the first time ‘round, like “Atomic Monsters”-- without wondering why Chuck doesn’t do it sooner. Or why he doesn’t, y’know, just snap his fingers and teleport a bunch of downers into Sam’s bloodstream.

[gffa]

I’m halfway through The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark and it’s about what I expected, it’s mostly just straightforward retellings of the episodes.  I had hoped for a bit more thoughts being woven into the perspectives, though I wouldn’t say any one of the stories I’ve read yet is worthless, either.  It’s perfectly serviceable so far, is generally my feeling.  (Mild, mostly general feelings spoilers so far, but feel free to block the “#solad spoilers” tag if you want to remain completely unspoiled!) General thoughts on the stories I’ve read: “Sharing the Same Face” (Yoda) by Jason Fry - I’ve always enjoyed Fry’s writing and he really does a great job with Yoda’s point of view and the mix of whimsy and ancient wisdom that he contains in this mysterious mix.  The moments Fry describes in the story, especially Yoda first touching down on Rigosa, the way he’s constantly feeling the clones’ emotions, the sense of wonder at the life around him, the way he sits down mid-battle to meditate left me feeling wonder at that anew, really are exactly what an anthology like this should be.  I’d have read the book just for this story alone. “Dooku Captured” (Dooku) by Lou Anders - I like Anders’ writing as well and this was a very solid Dooku pov.  A lot more could have been done with it, I feel like it was a missed opportunity to examine Dooku’s feelings on his lineage (there is one line that mentions Qui-Gon that got me in the feelings place, though!) or a chance to really go full-throttle with the hilarity like he did with Pirate’s Price, but it was more middle of the road and a fairly straightforward retelling.  I think it would have been served better picking a lane (hilarious or feels-laden) instead of half-and-half between the two, but I did take notes for caps that I wanted to yell about, so clearly I enjoyed it. “Hostage Crisis” (Anakin) by Preeti Chhibber - I think my own expectations of Anakin’s complexities of character got in the way of this story, because it has some cute Anidala moments, but other than that it’s a very straightforward retelling of the episode that really doesn’t examine Anakin’s character at all or the bigger themes in SW, which felt like a huge missed opportunity for me.  But, again, those were my expectations going on and the tone of the story wasn’t what I expected, so that’s not really fair.  Worth reading if you want some cute, light-hearted Anidala moments. “Pursuit of Peace" (Padme) by Anne Ursu - I have mixed feelings about this one, I feel like it’s a mix of my own expectations getting in the way again, that there are moments that I really enjoyed about Padme’s view of the Republic falling into economic ruin, that she’s really kind of unsympathetic to Mina’s point of view, and of course all the discourse surrounding Padme’s speed about how buying people is making the Republic poor.  Other than the way she thinks about the bounty hunters (giving snide nicknames to them didn’t really feel like Padme to me, but that might be a personal thing), I feel it was pretty faithful to what would have been going through Padme’s head in the episodes.  It’s just that that’s kind of complicated re: whether that makes for a good Padme story. “The Shadow of Umbara” (Rex) by Yoon Ha Lee - Sadly, this one was actually the most disappointing to me, because it’s such an intense arc in the show and it’s not that Rex’s character doesn’t have weight here, but that there’s really nothing added to what we already get on the screen. It’s a perfectly fine retelling of the story in text form, but with such an important arc to the story, I wish there’d been something more to this version of it.  There’s nothing wrong at all with the story itself!  It’s in what I can’t help wishing it had been instead. “Bane’s Story” (Cad Bane) by Tom Angleberger - Angleberger does great with upbeat, fun narrative styles (Chewbacca and the Forest of Fear! is a hilarious book for that) and I very much enjoyed his take on Cad Bane.  It doesn’t add anything to the episode, you don’t really get a sense of who Cad Bane is that you didn’t already know, but it’s an enjoyable ride along the way, just a fun story to read. “The Lost Nightsister” (Ventress) by Zoraida Córdova - This is the strongest story of the book so far, imo!  I’m only halfway through it, but this is what I wish the whole book had been like--there’s a lot of moments that really dig into Asajj’s character and what place she’s in mentally/emotionally after the genocide of her people by Dooku and Grievous.  The sense of aimlessness, the scattered and hurt feelings, the lack of focus, the loss of her sisters, it’s all woven in really well.  I’m only halfway through the story but it’s packing exactly the punch I’d hope for from it.

[laufire]

Supernatural s3

It’s so unfair that the season that has Ruby AND Bela is so short :(((. I was done with it waaaay too quickly, and now I’m speed running through s4 xD (which, like the first time around, is Strong Mixed Feelings territory).

-My girl Ruby!!!! I was so happy to have her back, I kept grinning like a loon every time she was on screen. It’s quite interesting watching the 1.0 and 2.0 versions so close to each other, instead of as they air. I have... Thoughts, on whether Ruby as a double agent was something planned or that they decided as they went, but that’s for the s4 post. s3!Ruby really doesn’t come across as one (“I don’t believe in the devil” oh I wish sometimes xD, I love my nonbelievers), imo, but the beauty of such a device is that you can rationalize anything she does as devious if you want to xD

And it goes without saying that I love her interactions with Sam. THIS SHIP ISTG. I love how immediately ~attuned to her he is lol, his present and instinctive concern for her even if he tries to mask his interest as “practical”. And all the repeated times Sam’s conflicted between her and Dean -like when he deviates Dean shot (wasting one of the Colt’s bullets lmfao) or during the argument about the virgin sacrifice xD. And the “that’s my boy”/ “little fallen angel on your shoulder” quotes!!! Ruby 1.0 deserved to be railed by Sam too, smh.

My favourite episode of hers is “Jus in Bello” (which would be my fave of the season just by virtue of having both Bela and Ruby in the same episode lol. Not interacting, of course, the world as we know it wouldn’t have survived). I just love that she gets that final moment of I TOLD YOU SO to the brothers xD. I really like how she expands on the demonic lore of the show- I love, LOVE the detail about how all demons used to be humans, how they’re souls corrupted in hell. And that in her past life she was a witch (there was this really good fic in Spanish fandom about it... I need to hunt it down).

BTW, though I think her interactions with Dean in that episode are interesting, it really hammers home how much I hate him sometimes xD. Can you stop saying misogynistic slurs for TWO GODDAMN MINUTES, DEAN (and as we know from as early as this season, only HE can have demon/monster friends!! What a fucking hypocrite xD). I freaking love the moment in the finale when she viciously yells him about how she wishes she could see him in hell lmao (and how it foreshadows that when she shows sympathy later, it’s actually Lilith in disguise lmfao). I hate Dean gets the last word in their dynamic, tbqh. Until the s15 cameo, at least xDD

One thing that’s been bothering me xD: the French fries. Demons are vulnerable to salt, like other spirits, right? (and hey, look what a nice piece of foreshadowing that was). How does that translate to food lol. Because Ruby adores French fries, and they obviously contain salt. It’s like spicy food for humans? Or like pineapple? Inquiring minds etc. xD

-I still cannot believe Bela Talbot was only on the show for six episodes lmao. Her presence still lingers in the watchers’ heads so much?? Which is understandable because she’s Lead Girl Material if there was ever any lol. The care with which they styled her even?? You don’t do that for just any character lmao (I mean, just look at most of SPN’s female characters for comparison xD).

Her ship with Dean could’ve really been something, too -even if I hate Dean in it, I can’t deny it packs a punch, narrative-wise. I mean, the Batcat undertones alone!! The fake married undercover shenanigans!! And I think it’s really interesting that she’s such a blind spot for him; Dean’s unusually intuitive about people, but with Bela he takes everything at face value and she can fool him like no other (while, OTOH, is Sam who questions her facade and wants to see more). If he hadn’t been such an idiot (and such an asshole) he could’ve had a really powerful ship. Sucks to be him lol.

Anyway. Man, I love her. So much. I love how Gordon’s threats to kill her don’t work on her, and I love that the show basically said “Bela killing her abusive parents is good, actually” (I’m so tired of forgiveness narratives, you guys. This entire show is founded on revenge, so let me get my revenge fantasies in peace!!) xDD. And I love, LOVE that she withheld that truth from Dean, that she decided he wasn’t worth it. OTOH, you know, fuck the fans that got her written out, definitely; but on the other, I do love how her story ended (and that it was a clear "fuck you" to shitty fans). Doesn’t stop me for wanting to read and re-read (and maybe write!) even more “Bela escapes hell” fix-its, but still.

Also, very important question: what happened to her cat?? It’s the cat alright?? I’m going to headcanon that she left them with that cougar friend of hers lol.

-So. THE DEAL. Okay. Oof. I love this storyline, a lot. A loooot. I love the conflict it creates between the brothers (as long as there’s still conflict and Sam hasn’t yet started taking everything lying down I can enjoy that part of their narrative lol). I love Dean’s initial forced giddiness about “making the most out of his last year” and I love the moment Dean decides he does want to try to live because it makes the last few episodes all the most desperate and cruel (and hey, I’ve heard he only went to hell because the season was cut short due to a writers’ strike... if that’s true that’s so funny lmao).

My absolutely favourite part however? That you can FEEL Dean’s unvoiced resentment towards Sam. For Dean having to die for him, even if Sam never asked him to. He lashes out to Sam repeatedly through the season, but it really came to ahead in the dreamspace episode, where Dean confronts another version of himself that talks about how Sam was “dotted on” (the revisionism asldfkaf). This show is absolutely ruthless when it comes to showing you its characters’ ugly, unfair reactions to things and it’s my favourite thing evah.

Speaking of the dreamspace episode, OMFG. I loved both brothers there. Dean’s hallucination, seeing himself as a demon? And how he let out his anger about John?? Beautiful, truly (regarding John, I also loved their different reactions when it looked like his spirit had contacted them: Dean jumping on it and Sam detached skepticism). But my favourite part has to be when Sam uses the villain’s abusive father against him. Like. Damn. That was cold-blooded o.0

The second-to-last episode, when Sam tracked down that Frankenstein doctor to try and make Dean immortal was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING OMG. I loved that. I love that Sam wanted to use it for both them. It was some scary shit. I also love the scene where the crossroads demon questions whether Sam really wants to break the deal, I’m gathering it’s going to be nice foreshadowing later on in the show lol.

Anyway. I also found Dean’s death scene more impactful than Sam’s. Partially because of the horror of it, but mostly because I think at this type of scenes, Padalecki is better. Sam’s grief felt more real, Dean’s got me out of the scene (it’s the voice, I think. Sometimes Ackles’ voice takes me out of scenes, it sounds... forced).

I also really enjoyed how the time loop episode wrapped around this subplot. It managed to be both heartbreaking and mind-numbly hilarious lmfao. Like?? All the deaths?? Were so pathetic?? I tip my hat to Ackles because I don’t think most actors could carry plots like this half as well lmfao.

Sidenote, it’s always a trip to see The Trickster God knowing that fucker is Gabriel. Archangel “hey Mary do you accept God knocking you up” Gabriel. Which I guess isn’t exactly a thing in this show?? Since according to the wikia SPN Jesus was “just a man” (and let me tell you, I’m tickled pink by the fact that out of ALL mythological figures, specifically all CHRISTIAN mythological figures, the show decided to go “nah” on Jesus Christ. I mean, I guess he’d take away from Dean’s, Sam’s and Castiel’s resurrection narratives, but still. It’s so funny!!).

-Gordon Walker remains a superbly acted and fascinating character with extra racist nonsense alsdkfjasdf. But I can’t deny I loved seeing him as a vampire. He was terrifying. And I’m definitely shipping him with Kubrick, ouch xD

-The Ghostfacers episode is... something. As in, incredibly exploitative and homophobic and with an egregious case of BYG (and the first where I’d say it’s incontestable to claim the trope was used. s1 and s2 are muddy territory given the circumstances, IMO, but this one is 300% BYG), but so successfully manipulative my heart hurt for Corbett and Corbett x Ed still. Fuck them for that ngl. I do still enjoy how anti-Winchesters they all are though xD

-3x01 introduces the one nice marriage of hunters so far, between a black couple. The man dies in a gross, horrifying way within the episode ofc (because he was Mean to the the brothers duh). She makes it out alive, and since she doesn’t reappear in the show she gets to live. So for now black women have a sliiiiiightly better track record in SPN than track guys there: they get to appear in a few more episodes and be more fleshed out (Victor, Gordon), but as long as they’re only in one episode they get to live!! (Cassie, Tamara).

-Rufus and Bobby are exes, right? Right?? Probably still married in some state? You know that post about how when gay marriage was legalized across the USA there were a lot of issues because some couples had split and never bothered to divorce, since it was only legal in one place? That post was made for them. Pity Rufus is a black man, and as such has a limited number of allowed appearances before he’s killed off ¬¬

-I would’ve enjoyed Dean’s moments with Lisa and Ben more (it’s just so RIGHT that in this moment he’d want Ben to be his) if my knowledge of future spoilers didn’t perpetually have me in a state of “pls keep this guy away from kids” lol.

-They had Harmony’s actress (BTVS) and they made her a vampire!! The show’s hard on for the Buffyverse is a bit of a hit and miss but I can’t say I don’t relate xDD.

-I know Jensen Ackles can sing (in fact thanks to youtube I know a few of the actors can... is there a musical episode. Does this show have its own OMWF. I need to know). So why. WHY. Does he sound like that during “Dead or Alive”??? I actually like the scene but he sounds so off-key lmao.

-BTW, I found out that apparently Katie Cassidy and Lauren Cohan originally auditioned for each other’s roles añslkdfjasf. I can’t picture it. Ruby 1.0 is Ruby 1.0 and Bela is Bela xD. Although I’ve seen each playing roles that could meld with the other, just. Nope. Good choice on the casting there lol.

[thessaliah]

Understanding Beast VII: Olgamarie’s and her family’s Sin in FGO

Note this is speculation meta which might or might not get jossed in the future, or change when I go through another branch. It's to explore what's said in the game, adaptation and other related (Nasu approved) material to speculate the themes of part 2. Working with contrasts with previous plot relevant Beasts, setting aside Tiamat animated parallel (which could get for Beast I in the future when Solomon temple is out as well), Goetia works the best because of the origins:

King Hassan (in disguise) warns in Babylonia through flowery language warns of two evils in particular. One is pity (or compassion), and another, the complementary one, shame (or regret). Beast VII sin hasn't been assigned, however it's very likely it'll be this one. I think I've covered up since the beginning of Lostbelt my suspicion Beast VII was the culprit because this sin was particularly fitting with Lostbelts and Crypters.

Beast I and Beast VII have some sort of connection, to each other. Holmes call Beast I attack the present from the past, while Beast VII from the future. It's the destruction of the past, the end of the future which somehow provokes this.

The Time Temple is compared by Da Vinci with Chaldeas, both as conceptual replicas of something on a smaller scale. Chaldeas is probably connected to Beast VII and the bleaching because it was made to observe the future, 100 years to be precise.

Now, talking about sins seems excessive, but I'm just using some contextual language since we speak of Beasts. Evils of Humanity. Beings who bear their fangs against the Human Order of the present to safeguard the Human Order. Well, of course, we're talking about the more plot-relevant ones and we can ignore Kiara or Kama for this lore definition. That's what I'm sticking with. Given that clarification, we should recap what was Beast I to understand why Animusphere are Beast VII and why Olga in particular, rather than her father (for now?).

Beast I was the consequence of a system designed to protect the Human Order and help humanity evolve. An observation system composed first of Solomon, who died, and then the 72 pillar demons. This birthed humanity incineration in their pride and anguish of humanity perceived meaningless and suffering. It was pity for that history of pain that led to extinguish it fire to use that energy and makeover the species (and the planet) from scratch. It was because they had the authority to do so. They were a system made to evolve humans, and one with human emotion and agency, unlike Solomon who could perform his duty because he had neither of those. Roman, the human born of Solomon's wish for a second life, countered such a statement denying the rights of such authority, returning Solomon's blessings to God, completing that task. Because he believed in many futures chosen by people themselves, and not chosen by him or his replacement. The reason why Goetia became Beast I and not Solomon was because Goetia had freedom to be angry and snap back, but Solomon admitted he didn’t have such freedom, so the potential of that evil was inherent in the system: an observation system to evolve humanity. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but perhaps it is when it demands it to have the reigns and control of it.

Back to Animuspheres. Why them? Creating Chaldea seems beneficial for humanity. Well, it is... but only if Chaldea is treated like was treated under Romani, Da Vinci and Gordolf: as a group that answers emergencies that endanger the present at the time rather than in potential for a future danger. Let’s remind what Olga said in Fuyuki:

(cutting because image heavy)

On a first read, it sounds innocent, but actually, is a fairly arrogant claim. The speech beforehand should be revised (in particular with the recontextualization Mortalis Stella gives it having Emiya being angry with Olga and the Animuspheres):

Basically, if Solomon and the 72 demon gods were Observers and Administrators to evolve Humanity (something Roman undid so humanity would be free to choose going their pace). Animuspheres fashioned themselves as Observers who ensure or validate Humanity future. The results of over 2000 years of experimentation. Now here’s the question, if Beast VII is the Beast made of this system, why was Olga, and not her father, the one who transformed? While in the past, I believed Marisbury would be Beast VII, I always have to wonder one thing: what could lead a man as self-assured and pragmatic to experience such shame and regret (if that was the Beast sin as I speculated) so I had to headcanon something like “whatever he saw in the future made him feel ashamed”, but thinking about it, he couldn’t be that for a similar reason Solomon wasn’t Beast I: he didn’t have the mindset for it (in Solomon’s case, it was because he had no freedom to choose to be angry - but this weakness also exists, even in Roman who dislikes watching and making people sad, he just diverted from his potential danger by his  personal journey as human). Marisbury’s simply someone who resolutely points a gun at himself and blows his brains out with a smile. He still could have been an evil of Humanity, like Solomon probably was (not the Servant record version), just unhatched because the sin assigned was never nurtured. His daughter on the other hand... Unlike her dad, Olgamarie accomplished nothing, she’s deemed as a failure, no matter how she tries, even less apt for Celestial Bodies Faculty than her father’s star pupil, Kirschtaria Wodime. She even clings to her ‘life’ in Fuyuki because of her regrets, expresses her cries for her own insignificance in her last moments unable to accept it’s over.

There surely are other factors, like humanity torturing her (Specimen E), her death, potentially being an artificial being, or family indoctrination. But it’s still Olgamarie’s choice and her flaws which led to this transformation. The emphasis made on Olgamarie’s choice was present in the Lostroom when Lev asks her what she’ll do and she doesn’t have an answer to him. Her only answer is in the game or in the storyline where she parrots they’ll protect the future:

And now we’re back to Melty Blood: Backalley Nightmare. In that story, there's an argument of approaches to how to protect humanity. One is Sion, who abandons the big picture of 'preventing' a crisis and more 'do what little I can do' with the present. This is what Chaldea, the Chaldea after Olgamarie died led by Roman and his successors, has been doing, even in the Lostbelts. They try to protect what they could, and trust for the best. The other is Siamlin, who like Animuspheres did, is trying to observe the future and take measures to prevent it before it happens, no matter what she does, she justifies it as for the sake of the future.

(and there's this warning right here).

Simultaneously there're two Olgamaries. A dead one, presumably from Siamlin’s timeline, is a child ghost with mysterious powers and says this: “The future will not change.” The other Olgamarie is actually from one of Atlas’ simulations but has become a real timeline (due to Ghost Olgamarie’s power). That Olgamarie meets Sion and has a change of heart. This is why I made emphasis on Olgamarie’s choice and agency earlier, because that Olgamarie takes FGO Olgamarie’s proud statements in the beginning about her and Animusphere’s mission and abandons it:

Our job to guarantee the future, but whose future do we guarantee? We say that we're going to ensure the future, but what kind of future do we think is good? We expanded on the land, we built cities, we crossed oceans, we travelled the skies, but for what purpose?

She concludes that, to change the future, working with the little things of the present should be more important. This speech she gives to Flauros before he detonates the bomb, and  it changes everything because no bomb goes off. Nobody died. Flauros changed his mind and agreed. While the ending is all poetic and symbolic. The result is Sion winning. And the materialization is what Olga (this Olgamarie) wants, same as Roman, a bright blue future which is the symbolism for “endless possibilities” (also mentioned and reminded in Lostroom by Lev to her). The future can change.

Well, I was lengthy, but I laid out something: Beast VII being Olgamarie, other than whatever tragic thing Nasu will toss to “soften” the blame, makes a lot of  sense if it’s the Beast of Shame/Regret who ends the present from the Future. Animusphere (or Animusphere experiment) connected to Chaldeas and filled to the brim with feelings of not being good enough, and who thought needed to ensure humanity’s future. However, I think the one who has to defeat Beast VII is Olgamarie herself too. Because there need to be clear that humanity doesn’t need anyone to validate the future for them and the approach to change what’s the come is more “focusing on what little you can do now” than “obtain a great power to change things” which is what Olgamarie concluded in that manga (ironically FGO Olga strongly preached for latter in her speech; it’s no surprise U Olga exists partly, IMO, due to this). It’s possible that the thematic resolution will be similar, give or add new themes with more packing punch and characters involved.

P.S. Moonlight Lostroom OVA and Mortalis Stella in particular make emphasis that Olgamarie has doubts about her mission, but it seems she sticks with it. But once again, it’s important that these got (belatedly) added to reflect the post Melty Blood manga retcons.

[wemblingfool]

With Beast Wars triumphant return, as well as Cheetor and Skybyte appearing in Cyberverse, and Barricade finally getting pulled out of the bayverse, it's really wonderful to see the G1 deathgrip finally beginning to loosen.

But there are still a ton of characters and designs who deserve to be rescued from obscurity. (Mine is by no means a complete list)

Beast Era- There was just so many, that if I don't limit myself, this list will be nothing but BW. Avoiding Beast Wars US show characters because they get 90% of the attention.

Razorbeast: Was just an empty toy-only character until Furman got ahold of him and did his typical magic to obscure toy only characters. Razorbeast was the best thing from IDW's terrible BW comic.

Botanica: The first (and only serious) plant TF. She would be amazing to see expanded.

Jetstorm: Like a bad gameshow host, Jetstorm was a joy to watch in Beast Machines. He also had a brilliant design that never got justice.

Hydra: From Beast Wars Neo, Hydra was a really lonely Predacon.

Killer Punch: Also from BW Neo, he was a conspiracy theorist on the level of The Question, or The Lone Gunmen. Imagine him sitting in his mother's basement (if Destrons/Predacons had mothers), blogging on the internet about how the original Megatron was secretly an autobot double agent.

Robots in Disguise- Everyone, honestly. Y'all really need to stop the RiD hate train. But here are the stand outs (for me)

Scourge: Is much more interesting a character than anything that's been done with "Nemesis Prime," since.

Gigatron: I go with Gigatron because IMO, he was much more interesting than his US Megatron version. Six modes and driven insane to the point of each mode having a unique personality.

The Predacon Trio: Darkscream, Slapper, and Gasskunk. Skybyte makes the occasional appearance recently. He needs his troops, who were fun enough on their own.

The Autobot Brothers: Sideburn, Prowl, and X-Brawn.

TAI: The best computer the autobots have. In any continuity.

Unicron Trilogy- The biggest continuity outside of the extended G1 continuity. As usual, too many to list.

Thunderblast: Not the most interesting toy, but she was a fun character

Shortround: Dude was a toy collector. He's one of us. He deserved to be brought back.

Brushguard: A decepticon botanist who loves old b-movies. What's not to love?

Ransack & Crumplezone: One of the most iconic duos in all TF

Landmine: We need more grumpy old robots, beyond Ironhide and Kup. Also, autobot construction vehicles are very rare.

Vector Prime: Amazing given how important he was/is, at how little he's been used since. The "multiversal singularity" thing was hands down one of the dumbest narrative moves, but that's no fault of Vector Prime's.

Override: She was an interesting design, and deserves to have more done with her.

Bayverse-

Blackout: neat design and a fairly blank character

Ransack: He's a friggin' biplane!

Sideswipe: same

"Daytrader": A Steve Buscemi transformer. Another Swindle-type character. He deserves to be rescued!

Crosshairs: Fairly big personality, which is rare for a bayverse TF, and an interesting design. I'd take him before G1 Crosshairs.

Animated- Just turn TF into animated for a few more years and I'll be happy. But, in terms of moving characters forward

Prowl: What's not to love? Peaceful nature loving ninja.

Bulkhead: A clumsy, sweet gentle giant with the soul of an artist. Everyone thinks he's an idiot, but he's the best spacebridge technician on Cybertron.

Sentinel Prime: Never been a more fun Sentinel, and never will be!

Lugnut: He just kinda got dumped.

Blitzwing: Would kill to see a future Blitzwing take after him instead of the dull as dirt G1 Blitzwing

Aligned- To be honest, i hate this trainwreck as much as I do Bayverse. But there are still concepts and characters worth salvaging

Knock Out: Dude was a blast. One of the only enjoyable things in TFP.

Soundwave: The only interesting Soundwave out there, imo.

Strongarm: She deserves moving forward

NuRiD Decepticons: Unique and fun designs, all of them! Would love to see Steeljaw and Bisk again!

Bumblebee- It is small. And it is broken. But it is still good... Yeah. Still good.

Shatter & Dropkick: Very much afraid these two will be quickly forgotten about and abandoned.

Cyberverse- it did a lot of new things with old characters. But it did bring some new and unique characters to the table.

Clobber: Sorta stole TFA Lugnut's design while being an amazing new character. She's something we've never seen before- a female big muscleheaded idiot brute. Female TFs are now becoming common enough that we're starting to get variety.

Wild Wheel: Nothing about him wasn't amazing. The show was cancelled before he even appeared, though.

Thunderhowl: Like Wild Wheel, didn't show up until Cyberverse was cancelled.

Hammerbyte: same

Botcon- While under Fun Publications, Botcon became nothing but milling out more G1. But under MiB and 3H, and even in FP's early days, they did give us some unique characters.

Fractyl & Packrat: I don't think there's a more iconic set of characters to Botcon than these two.

Shadow Striker & Roulette: Shadow Striker has gotten to move forward a bit. She appeared in the movie line, which that version was then the inspiration for Cyberverse Shadow Striker, but her sister has been all but forgotten.

Flareup: She's a very bubbly and upbeat personality, who happens to take an almost fiendish glee in blowing stuff up. She's the best thing FP ever did.

Landshark: One of the most hated FP characters, and I've never understood exactly why. He'd be brilliant if he got good fiction:

Landshark doesn't know where he got his name from and he doesn't really care. Some 'bots tend to confuse it with "Landmine", but once Landshark pulls his fist from their abdomen they don't seem to get it wrong anymore. Always the practical jokester and seen by his peers as a wiseguy, he often makes light of even the most dramatic situations. Once, he had one of his power claws ripped off of his body by a blood thirsty Narliphant. Landshark didn't fret about the situation; he simply turned to Flak and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"... Flak was not amused. Able to transform his auxiliary battle platform into a hydraulic booster pack, he has the strength to wield two massive power claws capable of ripping open an enemy's armor plating. This feature also gives him the ability to cling onto or climb up almost any structure. While in vehicle mode, Landshark enjoys intimidating, and then plowing down, anyone that stands in his way.

Like I said, these are all just scratching the surface. But these are all some of my most favorites.

[dvarapala]

“We have each other, and we’re kind of the same, you and me.”

the strength of the wolf is the pack // @squibbed 

they’re kind of the same, in a way. two sides of the same coin. they’re also completely different in other ways. and sometimes, udyati feels torn between being calm and understanding - because she does understand him - and complete and absolute anger. 

rage, one might even say.

because how dare he? how dare he shut her out like that and then come back with... with platitudes! how dare he come back and expect her to let him into the fold (which, to be fair, she would) just like that?! without some sort of apology?!

or maybe this is his apology.

if it is, well, apologies for the language, it sucks. 

but this is hurley. and he tries. he tries so hard. and she sees that. and she gets that, respects that, even. yet she still feels like she’s walking around with the piece of glass he had all but jammed into her heart last time they spoke.

so maybe it’s time she draws a line in the sand. maybe it’s time she sets some hard boundaries.

personal growth, and all that.

“we are,” udyati nods. “and we do.” and there’s a quiver in her voice but she continues anyway: “but---but i’m not going to smile at you and be here for you, and take your hand and lead you to the music room, and sneak into the kitchens with you, cheer for you at your quidditch games, and ask you about imo, only for you to turn around and shut me out when the going gets tough. i... i know what happened to you. and i’m glad you felt safe enough to tell me. and i hate that it did and that nobody did anything to stop it. but you can’t hurt other people just because you’ve been hurt. and---and it hurt, hurley.”

and it still hurts, hurley. in fact, it’ll probably continue to hurt for a long, long while.

“so that’s where i stand. i’m, um---we have each other, and we’re kind of the same, you and i. but... but i’m done. not with our friendship. not by a long shot. i’m just not gonna be... i’m not your---i’m not your verbal punching bag. you, uh, you don’t... i don’t want to make you shine, make you feel better, while---while you make me feel worse. and i know that’s... that’s not what you meant to do. but you did. and---and i think, i mean, i’m sorry to say it because i know you still...” 

she remembers the ‘screw up’ debacle. big, black blocky letters on his face. hurley slinking into herbology afterwards. madam sprout sending him away to the hospital wing. the letters went away but the irreparable damage never really did. instead of reminding him of that, udyati takes a deep breath as her eyes soften. the habit of instinctively protecting hurley corman is also something that never really does go away. so she dips her words in honey and vanilla, makes them more palatable, hopes they’re soft instead of wicked sharp shards. “...um, i know you don’t like it or like to hear it. but... but we both need to look in the mirror, and, uh, and inside of ourselves. because i want to be your friend. believe me, hurley, i want to be your friend more than anything. but i don’t want it to be at my own expense.”

with a shaky sigh, udyati adds: “i... i don’t---i thought that at this school, the teachers would be kind and understanding. you know how that turned out. then i thought i’d make real friends. and for the most part i did. i have. but... but when you pushed me away, it reminded me so much of amma. she does it all the time too. sometimes she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. and when i look at you now it’s just that same hopeless feeling i get when she’s angry at me. because i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to make it better. i don’t know if it’s gonna happen again and i don’t want to spend so much of my time worrying about whether or not you’re gonna let me in or push me out.”

it’s like there are two hurley’s now: before and after. before hurley is a jokester. after hurley takes every negative thing that has ever happened to him and sharpens it so it’s a blade, lets it fester, lets the poison coat his tongue.

and udyati is tired, and exhausted, and sad. just very, very, very sad.

“i just need some time, hurls,” she whispers, and ducks out of the classroom. “i’m sorry.”

[loopy777]

Random question. What which fanfic (that is a story) that you have posted, do you think is the most popular? You think it’s ‘Traitor’s Face’, or is it one of the Maiko’s fic?

I guess it once again depends how we’re defining ‘popular.’ My multi-chapter stories have more reviews than my one-shots, for obvious reasons, but when we compare them by Reviews-per-Chapter, my most popular thing is actually a Zutara short story with 30 reviews (on fanfiction.net) that I wrote for a contest with a word-limit and made too scattered to be very good at anything it’s attempting. (Except that last gag. That’s solid, if a little more crass than I usually go.) Going by kudos, though, seems unfair to my longer projects.

So here’s some of my most popular stories, according to the reviews-per-chapter metric (based on fanfiction.net reviews):

Holy Matrimony - 1 chapter, 24 reviews - Oh, hey, another Zutara, although this one is a religious satire starring some characters I labeled with Avatar names.

Cages - 1 chapter, 23 reviews - This one deserves to be near the top. It has Zuko and Toph in it, has no romance whatsoever, and I think I did a really good job exploring their characters. This one also has the most Kudos on AO3 of all my works, easily, which goes to show my relative lack of feedback there is probably less about the platform and more about most of my stuff not being good enough.

The Contract - 1 chapter, 21 reviews - My most popular Maiko story, a one-shot comedy. I had the idea for this one during the drive home from work, and I had the whole thing planned out by the time I pulled into my parking space. I banged it out that evening and published it. It’s mostly just silly. And it’s my most popular Maiko. I don’t what that goes to show, but it goes to show something, I’m sure.

The Avatar & The Fire Princess - 14 chapters (so far), 183 reviews - There’s a reason this alone of all my Completed stories is getting a sequel. The sequel volume is dragging the average reviews per chapter down a bit, but the first volume continued to pick up reviews even after it finished, so in the long term it will probably recover its old rate.

Best Served Cold - 4 chapters, 51 reviews - Sokkla, in general, is good business, and this one succeeds by being relatively short amongst my multi-chapter works but still packing a good dramatic punch. However, its review per chapter count of 12.75 puts it below most of my one-shots.

Retroactive - 31 chapters, 374 reviews - This story comes out to ‘novel-sized,’ which is probably the sweet spot for multi-chapter works. It’s long enough to tell an epic tale, but not too long to the point where it intimidates people. And that’s with it being impossible to discuss without spoilers. Pretty good, even though my average one-shot beats it in the reviews breakdown.

Traitor’s Face - 81 chapters, 909 reviews - This wound up with about the same reviews per chapter rate (11 and change) as one of my 7-chapter shipping week novellas. I think that’s pretty amazing, considering its intimidating size and the utterly ridiculous ship it’s centered on. However, it’s a good thing I’m not interested in popularity, as it’s a pretty pathetic return on five years of work.

Samsara: Mai's Long Day - 52 reviews, 7 chapters - This is my most popular multi-chapter Maiko fic, with a pitiable 7 and change reviews per chapter. I expect that the appeal is that it’s also a Groundhog’s Day fic, and those are interesting in and of themselves and are usually really good when done right.

.

(I didn’t mention AO3 statistics much because I get a lot fewer comments there than my fanfiction.net reviews. And it seems unfair to compare kudos-per-chapter. Anyway, the relative popularity of my fics doesn’t really change per platform.)

.

So, nope, my most popular stuff is neither Traitor’s Face nor my Maiko stories, by this way of measuring things, and in fact they’re among my least popular stuff. If I want reviews and comments, my best bet is to keep doing Zutara rom-com one-shots. If anyone has a better way of breaking down popularity, feel free to drop a line. But I don’t get enough buzz (that I’m aware of?) to do any other kind of comparison, IMO.

Of course, we could try to discuss popularity without involving math.

But what am I saying? That’s crazy talk.

[bidnezz]

11:45

Here on Ao3.

Pairing: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood

Rating: T (for language really). Workplace AU, Coworkers, Lunch Thief, Silly, Apology notes, Simon is adorable imo

Summary:

Alec’s body is still, his hand tucked into the crumpled bag before him, body heavy and cold with the realization that his pasta is gone.

He digs, quick and rushed, unforgiving to the bag he won’t be able to reuse tomorrow but that’s the least of his worries right now. His fucking pasta is missing. He removes what’s left of his lunch, staring desolately at the tupperware of mixed fruit and bag of crackers, something purple and foreign stuck beneath them.

He grabs it, a piece of paper that’s been neatly folded into fourths, opens it up with shaky fingers that he’s sure is from the lack of food in his system and not at all from the completely valid and necessary outrage he’s filled with.

Sorry! I’ll pay you back!

Was looking for some inspiration and saw a tumblr post with the prompt:

who keeps stealing my lunch and leaving apology notes?

Tuesday 11:43am

 Alec stares at the digits in the bottom right corner of his computer screen, swears he can hear the ticking of a clock in his head. He wills it to go faster, knows it won’t, but tries anyways.

 Two minutes is all he needs, honestly.

 He thinks of his bag in the fridge. Boring, brown, and crumpled from re-use the day before. It’s the treasure it holds that has his stomach responding, begging the gods that preside over this particular section of pixels to somehow speed up time.

 He’s starving, hungers for the leftover chicken pasta that graced his and Izzy’s dinner table last night. If he thinks really hard he can even taste the hint of cream on the back of his tongue, heavy and savory. Maybe that’s just his saliva. Maybe he’s died from hunger and has gone insane.

 His eyes are drawn back to the screen when the numbers change with sloth-like speed and the mantra of food food food in his mind bring him to his feet, his chair protesting at the sudden movement.

 Nobody notices, nobody cares but him that he’s going to lunch 15 minutes early, and he likes it that way. He prefers the company of his grumbling stomach and beeping of the microwave before the only sounds in the room are scrapes of his utensils against the tupperware and content sighs of happiness. It’s his favorite part of the day, the 15 minutes he gets to himself before he prepares for the drama and insipid tales of parties he has no interest in ever attending that his coworkers like to push on him.

 His coworkers aren’t bad, if he’s honest. They’re normal for the most part, and he’s done his best to stay in the relatively good graces of almost everyone. Everyone near him, at least.

 Alec doesn’t venture very far in terms of cubicles, choosing to stay contained and focused on his work. But sometimes when he’s been away from Izzy for too long he’ll feel the creepings of loneliness and a need for human interaction and he’ll drag himself down two-to-the- right- one-up until he’s peering over the edge of Simon’s desk, patient and waiting until the bespectacled boy offers him a story about his band’s gig the previous week, or wistful stories about his best friend that’s just a friend, and he’s totally not in love with her, shut up Alec why are you laughing?

 So things could be worse, he thinks to himself as he reaches into the refrigerator for the paper bag and settles himself into his favorite chair with his back against the wall. He could have coworkers that are raucous and annoying, who squawk and screech when they talk. Or he could—

  Thief!

 Alec’s body is still, his hand tucked into the crumpled bag before him, body heavy and cold with the realization that his pasta is gone.

 He digs, quick and rushed, unforgiving to the bag he won’t be able to reuse tomorrow but that’s the least of his worries right now. His fucking pasta is missing. He removes what’s left of his lunch, staring desolately at the tupperware of mixed fruit and bag of crackers, something purple and foreign stuck beneath them.

 He grabs it, a piece of paper that’s been neatly folded into fourths, opens it up with shaky fingers that he’s sure is from the lack of food in his system and not at all from the completely valid and necessary outrage he’s filled with.

  Sorry! I’ll pay you back!

 The loopy scrawl looks elegant but does nothing to quell his rising blood pressure or satisfy the ache in his stomach. He crumples the paper, tosses it into the trash bin across the room where it belongs, and snaps his tupperware lid open to stab at his fruit with a fork that really doesn’t deserve the harsh treatment.

 He’s going to find out who did this, and he’s going to…

 Well, Alec is too hungry to think of what he’s going to do to them, but he knows it’s going to be bad. Very bad.

   --–

   11:34 Wednesday

 The low hum of keyboards and the occasional mouse clicking that he’s used to doesn’t calm Alec’s racing thoughts like it normally does, doesn’t try to lull him into the dream-like trance of his peers. Most days it does, but today is not most days.

 Today is the day Alec has begun to see his coworkers for what they really are. He doesn’t care if Lydia—who sits in the adjoining cubicle to his left—is pristine in her work and mannerisms and polite to a fault. Doesn’t care that she’s always polished and perfect in the coworker handbook, which doesn’t exist but really should because who steals people’s lunch? What he does care about is that he knows for a fact Lydia still has a stack of post-it notes she asked to borrow last week, a pack that has been almost completely used up to leave reminders and notes around her desk. She still hasn’t given them back, or offered him a new pack, and Alec pushes back the errant reminder in the back of his head that she offered and he refused.

 Because now she’s a suspect and he trusts no one.

 He stands, slowly as not to arouse suspicion, and when he passes her desk he does a quick glance around to see if he notices anything else that belongs to him on the dark wood.

 As hard as he tries, Lydia is perceptive and offers Alec the same picturesque smile she always does, teeth white and blinding in the fluorescence, and Alec does his best to hold in his guilt at his mental accusation.

 He’s early to the break room, earlier than usual, and he hopes that he’s rewarded with the mouthwatering teriyaki chicken and rice he prepared for today. It’s one of his favorites, and he feels his mouth flood with just the thought.

 He grabs at the crisp paper bag, sets himself down in his usual chair and reaches in to find—

 Money?

 There’s a note with it, red paper embellished with little gold swirls that trap the $20 bill.

 Sorry again mon pétit chef !

Hopefully this covers whatever I’ve stolen

I promise I’m not a bad person, just hungry!

Your food is the best. ♡

 He’s infuriated. This monster is mocking him now, taking the time to doodle on apologetic notes while he savors every last bite of Alec’s carefully cooked meal. They have the time for jokes and notes, surely they have the time to bring their own damn lunch.

 The only thing left in his bag is the empty, but thankfully washed, tupperware he had packed this morning. Damn it, he thinks as he shoves his fingers through his hair and heads over to the vending machine, angrily forcing the crisp bill through the slot and punching in his choices. Chips and cookies, highly nutritious and sure to get Alec through the day in a wonderful mood.

 He jabs at the coin return button a few times with no response, and when he glances down he can’t help the strangled noise that leaves his throat and the anger that forms a prickle at the corners of his eyes.

  Machine does not give change.

 He’s never used the vending machine before, not in his one and a half years has he ever needed to. But now…

 Now, he’s forced to sit at his table with a defeated sigh and $20 worth of snacks.

   --–

   Thursday, Alec comes prepared.

 In the morning he comes in wary with his lunch held close to his chest, and he sets it down in the same spot as always. Only this time, there’s a note taped to the front of his bag, a yellow post-it note that he hopes gives Lydia a hint, whether she’s the culprit or not. “Stop eating my lunch” it reads, big bold and to the point. Just like Alec.

 The day passes uneventfully, and though he’s confident nobody will be touching the cut up steak, potatoes and veggies in his bag this time, he’s still suspicious of everyone.

 Simon comes over to pass him a flyer for his show tonight, bright orange and the art is drawn by my best friend Clary, she’s so amazing isn’t she? I mean it, it’s amazing artwork. You know in a few years time this will probably be worth a lot of money, like a collector’s edition or--

 Alec’s ambiguous stare unsettles Simon and he adds a weirded out “Dude are you, like, okay?” before he shrugs and heads back to his own cubicle, Alec’s undecided eyes following his every movement with a sharpness he’s never needed to hone until now.

 Perhaps he’s covering up, trying to extend an olive branch beyond the monetary.

 Alec won’t accept, though. Won’t forgive and forget until he knows for certain that it’s Simon, and has a confession straight from the source. Why doesn’t Simon just admit that he’s been taking Alec’s lunch and apologize? Why does he have to do it in a roundabout way now that he’s been called out? Be a man, Simon Lewis. Admit your defeat, and stop eating my lunch.

 At 11:45 Alec’s visit to the refrigerator is prompt and purposeful, renewed with vigor because he has no reason to believe his lunch has been stolen again. Not until he’s sat on his chair with another empty container and note, livid.

  Or what?

I’ve repaid you for my trespasses.

Sorry again, mon pétit chef!

Today was especially tasty.

xo

 Fuck.

  --–

   Friday’s plan is foolproof, Alec smiles to himself, whistling as he steps up to his chair and sets his thermos and rustled paper bag on his desk. It’s unseemly, looking out of place and cluttered, but it’s a precaution he has been forced to take now, because he’s figured out how to get out of this predicament he’s been caught in all week.

 Gone are the days he comes home, starving to the point of exhaustion because Alec really does rely on his lunch to get him through the days. It’s hard to concentrate on numbers that begin to jumble together on a flickering screen that only agitates the pounding in his temples.

 So he’s decided that he’ll bring a lunch that wont spoil on his desk, something that will still be edible after 4 hours of room temperature climate. He’s testing it with his favorite soup, chicken noodle with extra chicken and veggies, his broth rich and hot filled with all the flavors that make his mouth water.

 Perhaps having his food in such close proximity to him all day is not the best idea. He eyes the thermos, then shakes his head because he’s being ridiculous now. He’ll survive, and at 11:45 when it’s time for lunch his soup will still be warmed and tasty and completely untouched by him or any conspiring coworkers.

 Only by the time lunch rolls around his thermos is only half-full and he’s already got cracker crumbs on his shirt because self-control is severely underrated and Alec is literally hungry all day long. So he savors what’s left of his lukewarm soup, tips his head back to drink the leftover vegetable bits and pieces that have settled at the bottom of his thermos with a grimace. It’s not the worst lunch, but it’s not satisfying and the high hopes he had set himself on this morning are shattered like the last cracker he crunches in his mouth.

 At 12:40 he’s about to head back to his desk when curiosity strikes him.

 Slowly, as if he wasn’t sure what would be on the other side of the door, he pulls open the refrigerator. His stomach twists bizarrely when he sees the carefully tented green paper in the spot he normally leaves his lunch. It looks oddly fitting, he thinks for a moment, like it belongs there instead of the unsightly brown paper bag he always leaves. He reaches for it, turning it over and feeling the weightlessness of it on his palm, despite how heavy it feels in his chest.

 Mon pétit chef -

I’m sorry if I’ve scared you off.

Here’s to hoping Monday brings new gifts.

Enjoy your weekend.

xo ,

M.B.

 Alec feels his face heat up, warmer than he’s ever felt in the confines of his kitchen with the fire high and wrapped in the air. The irritation sparks up again, and Alec doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so embarrassed and intrigued, but he knows it’s all too much to take in right now so he stuffs the note in his pocket and stomps to his desk.

 He scans the room before he sits down, most people are in the break room enjoying their lunch before the hour is up. Most people except Catarina Loss, three-to-the-right-two-down, who meets his eyes with a patient smile. Alec pauses, for the briefest moment he wonders if this is his thief, M.B., but then she looks away, returns back to her work as quiet and unnoticed as always.

 He doesn’t know much about her, and he makes a mental note to get whatever information he can out of Simon later without being obvious.

   --–

   Monday brings Alec in with hesitant, unsure steps, and he feels as if he’s walking into a bad idea.

 He sets his bag down on his desk, pulls out two brown paper bags, and stares.

 He would probably look insane if anyone walked by, watching these two lunch bags with such intensity he’s surprised they don’t burst into flames, but he’s early and Raj who sits behind him is the only one around at this time. Alec doesn’t care about Raj, nobody likes Raj. He’s an ass and if he wants to look at his lunch bags for 5 minutes then Raj can screw off.

 Chill, Alec, he can hear Jace’s words repeated in his mind. He sort of had a panic attack at Jace’s house Sunday afternoon when he realized he had no idea what he was going to do about Monday’s lunch.

 Jace knows about Alec’s lunch dilemma. Knows a little, at least. Enough for Alec’s freak out to seem a little less random and crazy.

 But still a freak out nonetheless, and now Jace isn’t here to calm him down, but he’s got his affirmation in his head that it’s really not a big deal, it’s just lunch.

 He snatches the offending bags, taking quick steps to the refrigerator where he sets them down side by side, one lightly rumpled bag next to an unblemished bag with the simple letters M.B. on them.

 What the hell is he doing? He must be losing it. All these numbers and long hours in a stuffy office all day long are turning his brain to mush and now he’s making lunch for his thief—not his thief. A thief. A lunch thief.

 Damn it!

 This shouldn’t be complicated at all, this shouldn’t even be a thing for heaven’s sake. It’s just lunch, it’s not a date and he doesn’t even know who’s on the other side of these notes. He’s acting like a teenager with these silly games.

 His fingers twitch, ready to reach out and snatch the bag to toss it in the rubbish along with any other stupid ideas he might have come up with, but he leaves it alone. Whatever this is, he’s being dumb about it, because it’s just food and maybe his mom would be proud or something, because Alec is feeding the less fortunate.

 With a nod, Alec regains his composure and heads back to his desk, feigning the confidence he sure as hell doesn’t feel, and when he slumps in his chair it’s definitely not because of a stupid lunch bag.

   --–

   11:45 comes so slow Alec is surprised he isn’t bald from ripping his hair out with each passing minute that feels like an hour.

 He stands, an attempt that was intended to be slow and purposeful but comes off as awkward and causes him to sway with misstep. Nobody sees, but he feels stupid regardless.

 While nobody notices him in his cubicle, he sees the usual smile from Lydia as he passes her, but this time Catarina is watching him and they make eye contact on his trip to the break room. Her expression is calculated, studying his movements and he hopes to god he doesn’t trip and embarrass himself.

 When he opens the refrigerator he’s disappointed to see the brown bag with the initials back in place, looking as though it hasn’t been touched. He grabs it to toss it away so he doesn’t have to take home the shame of his failed attempts at—

 Alec pauses, because he doesn’t even know what he would call this. Friendship? Peace offering?

 Whatever it is, he’s done with it for good.

 When he lifts the bag, though, it’s light and the food inside has clearly been consumed.

 He grabs his own bag and hurriedly makes his way to his seat, reaching in unceremoniously to retrieve the folded note he’s hoping is in there. He’s victorious, and he knows he looks bonkers with the huge grin on his face but he doesn’t care because he’s alone for now, and he’ll smile if he wants to. He sets the note down on the table, his eyes tracing over every letter slowly, admiring the swooping penmanship that he wants to rewrite with his fingertips.

 Mon pétit chef -

Today’s gift was from the Angels themselves .

I feel very special, so I’ll answer your request.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

xo,

Magnus

 He picks at his food, for the next 15 minutes, rolling the name he’s asked for over in his head, tastes it on his lips like the sweetest word he’s ever said. Magnus.

 It’s impossible to get back to work after lunch, but Alec does his best, honestly tries so hard to focus on the numbers in front of him but it eludes him. So he welcomes the distraction when Simon pops into Alec’s space, typing away at his phone and half-attentive to his own story that he’s regaling Alec with.

 “—and then Maureen was like ‘Oh, Simon, you’re so smart you should be the one running this place!’ and guess who walks past the office?”

 Alec gives a noncommittal grunt, and that’s enough for Simon because he continues.

 “Mr. Bane!” His voice is grave and he stops plucking at his phone to watch Alec’s reaction, deflates when the only response is a raised eyebrow. “C’mon Alec, work with me here. Mr. Bane,” he repeats as though that will get the point across.

 Alec shrugs. Simon rolls his eyes.

 “Mr. Bane is the guy who runs this place. He’s like the Sam Walton of Walmart.”

 “Sam Walton Bane is a weird name,” Alec responds, his fingers tapping quickly at the keypad to his right. He’s good at multi-tasking.

 Simon groans and smacks his palm to his forehead in an over-dramatic show of frustration. Simon has always been a bit over the top, but Alec supposes he has to be since he sort of owns a band. “No, Sam Walton is the guy that invented Walmart or whatever, you know the big chain? Magnus Bane is the guy that invented this place,” he supplies, though his voice comes out dejected because he’s sure Alec isn’t even interested anymore, if he ever was.

 But Alec’s brain halts suddenly, his fingers ceasing all function at the mention of the name he’s been repeating all day to himself.

 “Wh-What?”

 “Dude, if you’re not gonna listen I’m gonna go talk to Maureen,” Simon sigh and steps away from Alec’s desk where he was leaning against it. He’s ready to leave, takes the first few steps out of the cubicle before Alec seizes his arm, tugging harshly to bring Simon back. “Ow! The hell?”

 “Who did you say invented this place?” The words sound stupid coming out of his mouth, he knows that’s not the proper way to say it, it’s Simon-speak, but he doesn’t care. His brain is on auto-pilot as it tries to catch up.

 “Magnus Bane,” Simon repeats slowly, as though Alec is a child.

  Magnus Bane.

  M.B.

 Fuck.

   --–

   Alec calls out sick Tuesday, his head pounding with the stampede of a million questions that will never receive an answer if he doesn’t go back to work. But curling up in his bed and burying himself in all the blankets he owns seems like a better idea, and Izzy is gone at work all day so really who’s to stop him?

 Wednesday follows in the same fashion, only now he can’t stop googling pictures of Magnus, and good god, the man is literally perfect. He’s so gorgeous it makes his heart feel tender with loneliness because he knows Magnus is way out of his league. Magnus works 2 floors above him—well, Alec uses the term work loosely, because when you’re the head bitch in charge, what do you even do?

 Oh god, he’s just called Magnus a bitch.

 Magnus doesn’t know, can’t possibly know, but Alec still feels sheepish, and he ducks his head under his pillow to suffocate his shame.

 Not 5 minutes later, he’s got his nose pressed to his phone as he takes in the glorious sight of Magnus Bane on the cover of some trite magazine. He looks exactly like his notes would paint him to be, Alec thinks, sighing as he scrolls to the next photo. That’s how Izzy finds him hours later, cheeks flushed and jittery, thoughts and images of a man so unattainable Alec wants to cry.

   –--

   Thursday is sluggish and slow for Alec, his body genuinely retaliating against him for forcing house-arrest on it, depriving it of the essential vitamins and exercise it’s used to. He blames his inability to concentrate on this fact, and when he tosses two lunch bags into the refrigerator in the morning, he holds tight to this excuse. He’s too out of it to think straight, to really deduce why he still brought an extra lunch for Magnus.

 Why is he bringing Magnus lunch in the first place? The man has enough money to quit his company and live lavishly until he dies. Not that Alec wants to think about Magnus dying.

 Mr. Bane, he should be saying instead. Because he really doesn’t know Magnus enough to be on a first name basis with his boss.

 Little lunch-time notes from a stranger are one thing, but now that he’s wholly aware of the situation, this has to be the last of it. There has to be something against feeding your boss delicious food every day and getting flirty little notes in return, he’s sure of it.

 Something stirs in his peripheral on his way back, and he sees Catarina frowning at him, though she remains silent.

 He’s so lost, he doesn’t know what’s going on in this place anymore. His boss is stealing his food and flirting with him via notes like a kid, his coworkers are watching his every move, and on top of it all he hasn’t told anyone Magnus’ identity so he’s all alone in this.

 By the time 11:45 comes around Alec isn’t even hungry, his mouth is satisfied with the nervous energy it’s consuming because he’s got plenty of it right now.

 He opens the refrigerator to see his two bags unmoved, checks Magnus’ to make sure, and sits back in his seat dejectedly when it’s true.

 There’s a noise at the door to the break room, followed by a soft click, but Alec is too preoccupied in his thoughts to notice.

 He’s pushing around forkfuls of his spaghetti, jabbing his fork rather forcefully into one meatball in particular, but it does nothing to settle his nerves. He hears noise to his side, the soft tap of expensive shoes on tile, the door to the refrigerator squeaking open, the rustle of a brown paper bag with the initials M.B., and his heart races a few beats faster than normal.

 “Is this seat taken?” the melodic voice questions, and Alec feels his jaw lock up, his body tense around the tupperware in front of him.

 “N-Not at all,” Alec stutters. Dear lord, have mercy on his soul.

 Beside him, hand grasped on the back of the only other chair at Alec’s table, is Magnus Bane, asking to sit next to him. Him, of all people.

 Alec’s eyes travel first to the fingers curled around the plastic of the chair as he pulls it out, to the slender arm that connects to an equally slender but toned body and how does he even fucking know that? How can he tell what’s underneath the suit and tie Magnus is wearing?

 Surely the hundreds of google images don’t factor in. No.

 Alec gulps, and he finally meets the hesitant but curious gaze before him and jesus christ this man is beautiful.

 “Thank you, Alexander,” he speaks, his words pouring out of him like warm honey. And Alec chokes. He chokes, on what he has no idea, but he chokes in front of Magnus Bane.

 “H-How… My name?”

 It sounds stupid, he sounds like he can barely string a sentence together, and Magnus watches him. He can see he’s trying not to laugh, of course he knows Alec’s name, he’s probably done his own research on his employees, and he’s obviously caught on that Alec knows exactly who he is and he wonders if maybe google ratted him out to Magnus about his search history, because the smug look is awfully suspicious.

 “Would you prefer I call you mon pétit chef?”

 The magical laugh makes the teasing almost worth it, but Alec is beyond mortified now, because what does someone say to that?

 Magnus reaches across the table, his fingers graceful and soft as they brush along Alec’s chin to tilt it back into place. And Alec doesn’t say anything, won’t ever mention the way Magnus lets his fingers linger on Alec’s skin to anyone, or the way he feels electric in all the spots Magnus touches.

 “N-No. No thank you,” he murmurs, not sure why he’s being so polite when this is clearly not a formal setting, but rationalizing it to the fact that Magnus is his boss and also so insanely gorgeous and Alec is just so average that there’s no way he can form coherent thoughts in his presence.

 “Your cooking really is quite heavenly,” Magnus manages, popping open the lid to his tupperware, Alec’s tupperware, that looks so dingy and dirty in Magnus’ polished hands. It all feels so very domestic, despite Alec having never sat across from anyone so brilliant and extraordinary in his life.

 Staring at him now, face-to-face, Alec thinks that the photographs and magazine covers don’t do him the justice he deserves, don’t quite capture the immortality and timelessness of his face.

 “I’m glad you like it,” Alec says softly, his gaze everywhere but Magnus, because even though they’re drawn to him like moths to flame, it’s too much to bear for a prolonged period of time.

 But there’s time, he hears the whisper of the words in his head, feels them stretch across his consciousness with the promise of the future.

 He’s only just met Magnus, only started his silly correspondence a little over a week ago, but he feels a connection he didn’t know he was missing.

 Suddenly, a questions pops into his head and passes through the filter of his mouth before he can stop it, a question he’s been mulling over for days now since he found out who Magnus was.

 “Why did you steal my lunch?”

 Magnus laughs, loud and genuine and Alec basks in the sound, feels it warm the shakiness in his sweaty palms still.

 “Catarina is one of my oldest friends,” he begins, his eyes twinkling. “I came to visit her one afternoon for lunch and I saw you sitting in here alone, in that very seat.” Alec feels the heat rise to his face and he shifts uncomfortably at how predictable and boring he is. “I thought to myself, ‘what is this gorgeous man doing here all alone?’ And then you took a bite of your food, closed your eyes and looked so peaceful that I decided then and there I needed to try this amazing food.”

 Alec balks, his mouth threatening to fall open again, but he attempts to keep his composure. Magnus looks pleased with himself.

 “You could have just asked me to make you something,” he whispers, more of a thought to himself than to Magnus, but he hears it anyways and gives a low hum.

 “Where’s the fun in that?”

 Where indeed, Alec thinks, and he takes a bite of his lunch he’s made for them today, peering up at Magnus through his lashes, watching his response as he takes his first bite of the dish. And maybe Alec’s in the wrong profession because the soft moan and euphoric look on Magnus’ face makes Alec feel more accomplished than a day filled with numbers and data entry.

 The humor that their first meal together being pasta is not lost on Alec, and he smiles across at his lunch thief, wondering if he’s going to steal more than just his food.

 He kinda hopes he will.

[elminx]

On Divine Timing and When to Cast Spells

There’s an old Chinese proverb that goes “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”   When people ask me about timing and spellwork, this proverb always comes to mind.   In a very real sense, the best time to cast a spell is BEFORE YOU NEED IT but most of us are not precognizant (enough) to know when you will need a spell in the future - so the second-best time to cast a spell is always now.  When you need it. But that’s not really the answer that people are looking for and I get that.  So here’s my personal reasoning behind when I choose to cast spells.  

Now > Good Astrological Timing > Phase of the Moon > Day of the Week I’ll break this down in a way that hopefully makes sense.

NOW

How important is the thing that you need?   In the end, if you feel called the cast a spell you there is a reason.  You should examine this need.  The more immediately you need the results, the quicker you should cast your spell and maybe you don’t have time to wait for the proper moon phase or hope for a good planetary alignment to help you out.    My caveat to this is that spells do require planning if they aren’t something you’ve done before (once I’ve done a spell 2-3x I can often go from decision to implementation in about 30 minutes so long as I have any components on hand.)    My second caveat to this is to think carefully before you cast a spell during a void of course moon.  Almost everybody is lower energy during a void of course moon and you won’t likely have as much oomph to put into your spell.  This is especially true of anybody with a strong Cancerean element to their birth chart of whose chart is Moon centric in general.   If its cleansing magic, go ahead - if its anything else, wait until the moon has changed signs.  If you can’t wait, you probably don’t need magic you need something else (a doctor, a lawyer, a therapist?). There are many apps out there that track void of course moons for you - this is specific to where you are and needs to be calculated for accuracy. GOOD ASTROLOGICAL TIMING

As the planets move through the sky, they interact with each other and with the Earth in different ways that add energy to our daily lives.   Think about all of the talk about Mercury retrogrades and eclipse seasons - some energies are good for spellcraft and some not-so-good.   Learning astrology and how it can help or hinder your craft is, IMO, one of the greatest things that you can do to enhance your witching. Some astrological events add energy that can be harnessed by everybody. They include (but are not limited to): anytime a planet changes signs, anytime a planet “stations” (goes retrograde or direct after going retrograde), anytime two planets aspect each other in the sky, full and new moons...I could go on about this for hours.  Use this energy.  It makes your witchcraft easier because you don’t need to add as much energy to your spells - using divine timing allows you to work with the energy that IS ALREADY THERE. Simple examples of this include: cursing a couple when Venus is square Mars in the skies, making a road opener oil to counteract the effects of Mercury retrograde, or casting a success spell while Jupiter is in Sagittarius.   The ways to apply astrological events to your spellwork are endless and highly individualized which I will get into next. This one requires knowing your birth chart well.  Use the current transits of the planets through the sky when they aspect your birth chart.   This involves knowing the planets, houses, and transits well but this is all information worth knowing!   For instance, you could not get better divine timing (IMO) for Crown of Success work than to perform it when Jupiter crosses your midheaven and into your 10th house which rules success and work.   This is tricky - the outer planets only transverse our houses a couple of times in our lifetime - but the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and the Moon do so regularly.  In fact, the Moon does so every month!

PHASES OF THE MOON

This is still an aspect of diving time, it's just divine timing on a much quicker scale.   The moon goes through every single of the horoscope every 28 days so if you want to cast a spell with the moon is in Pisces (for whatever reason), you AT MOST need to wait 28 days to cast this spell.  The same goes for doing magic with the full moon or new moon. Other astrological timing is hit or miss but you can guarantee that the moon is going to do what you need to do quickly enough that it is reasonable to wait for the proper moon phase (New, Waxing, Full, or Waning) for most work that doesn’t need immediate results.  Some spells are naturally cast better on a waning moon and some better on a waxing - I’m not going to go into specifics in this because this should be general spell knowledge.  Use this to your advantage - it will ALWAYS help you. That said, I will always choose other astrological timing over moon phase.  I would rather cast a Road Opener when an outer planet stations direct (a major shift of energy in the forward direction which can be harnessed for the spell) even if it's not during a waning moon which is the traditional phase for a road opener spell.

DAYS OF THE WEEK

If you’ve got nothing else, days of the week do just fine.    Monday is a moon day so casting a moon centric spell on a Monday under the right moon phase will pack a lot of punch.   If you want to work with Saturn energy but aren’t going to have a good Saturn aspect in the sky or in transit to your chart for a while, cast it on Saturn’s Day (Saturday). Lastly, as always, take this with a grain of salt.  If you don’t believe in the days of the week - don’t use them!  If you don’t connect with the moon - maybe moon phases aren’t for you!

Like my work?  Please consider buying me a Kofi.

[wellship]

Hello hi I just wanted to say I am absolutely here for Leah and Haley being girlfriends... hippie artist and pretty fashion girl??? Match made in heaven. Thank you. My crops are watered.

LISTEN…….. You have hereby given me permission to wall-of-text about why I love this ship so much lmao…

I already started off loving Haley because she’s IMO the best bachelorette in the game. I love not only how she grows as a character (compared to some of the others who can feel stagnant, even though I love them all too) but how her “growth” doesn’t mean that she sacrifices her personality completely.She was the first villager I ever romanced playing SDV because I was curious to see how she would be written and I was so, so pleasantly surprised. It’s so easy and common for characters like Haley to either stay as a shallow caricature of a “mean, girly girl” forever as a punching-bag for the writers’ projections, OR for her to do a complete 180 as if being girly, or interested in fashion, or not academic are bad traits to be “fixed” in order for the character to become likeable - especially since this was essentially a first-person dating sim, which often plays into the fantasy where a mean girl is turned into a totally pacified wifey-type by the (usually male) PC. I was fully expecting and bracing for Haley to go from being a caricature of a “mall brat” Mean Girl to being a caricature of an “I’m not like other girls” Cool Girl (or worse, “I’m so glad I Grew Up and realised all I need in my life is my hubby!”, but I wasn’t quite getting that vibe from SDV).

But that didn’t happen. Major props to CA for creating a character who DID grow and learn to appreciate things outside of her little bubble without feeling the need to abandon/criticise the things she used to like. She learns that shopping/makeup/boys (wink) etc. aren’t the only important things in her life, and she expands her horizons, but those things are still important to her. As someone who’s also interested in fashion and makeup it was refreshing to see those hobbies still portrayed in a positive light as opposed to something she had to “move past”.

So. Anyway. That’s why I love Haley so much and why I particularly like a narrative of her discovering she’s a wlw (thank you Stardew Valley for watering MY crops by giving everyone canon bi~ reads) as it ties in with her growing and maturing as a person.

And so when I looked at the roster of girls in Stardew Valley I felt like Leah was the best one to complement her character in a relationship:

Haley’s biggest obstacle in her life right now is that she’s very sheltered and, as a result, a little spoiled. Her parents are globe-trotting and her older sister has been left to look after her. The age gap between the sisters doesn’t seem to be that big and Emily isn’t very confrontational at the best of times, so I think she just took the path of least resistance, which was to do everything herself rather than argue with Haley who still sees her as a peer and not an authority figure.Leah, conversely, has had to become extremely independent and self-sufficient, very recently. Her narrative plot line about leaving an (if not abusive, then at least implied to be toxic/unhealthy) relationship and a position where she was “comfortable” but unhappy is very fresh and it’s exactly where Haley needs to be. Leah is in a prime position to, basically, give Haley a kick up the rear and tell her to get her act together, but without it coming off as too sanctimonious or parental since Leah is still going through it and learning herself. Two young adults navigating their way through adulthood and pulling each other along rather than one grabbing the other by the hand and “fixing” them.

The flipside of this is that Leah is in her position through choice, which she was privileged to be able to make. She CHOSE to leave behind a life in the big city and a stable career to pursue the aesthetic of living in a little country cabin and making art all day. Haley wants the opposite, but can’t make it happen. Haley would KILL to be able to pack up her life and move to the city to pursue her dreams - Fashion? Photography? Fashion photography? - but she can’t. She’s sheltered because she has everything provided for her in Pelican Town, but that doesn’t translate to having the same opportunities for forward momentum as Leah. Her parents aren’t implied to be very supportive of her dreams, so they’re not going to fund a move for her, and we constantly see that there are limited employment opportunities in Pelican Town unless she wants to work for minimum wage at Joja. So she’s kind of stuck. Narratively, we’re supposed to see Leah’s desire to move from the city to the country as a positive story arc (because it mirrors the player’s) while we’re supposed to see Haley’s desire to move from the country to the city as somehow being shallow or consumerist, and I think Leah herself would fall into the trap of thinking that way, which would be eye-opening for her.When you look at it, their narratives mirror each other. It’s easy to say that Haley is spoiled and out of touch with the “real world”, but Leah is also out of touch with reality in that not everyone can do what she did. I like Leah a lot and I’m not saying her life or her decisions were easy - and she definitely does seem to be genuinely “roughing it” and struggling for money when we meet her in-game - but she still got there by choice and she still does have a safety net of sorts, since it’s implied she could probably get re-hired in whatever lucrative field she worked in before moving. Haley doesn’t have that - her “safety net” of her parents’ house and her sister only works to support her as long as she stays put.I can see this being a really delicious and rewarding narrative point between them as they started to get to know each other, because I think they would probably HATE each other at first, lol. Leah would think Haley was childish and represented everything she disliked about “fake” city living while Haley would think Leah was pretentious and ungrateful.

Also I definitely love that hippie girl/mall girl contrast BUT please consider - Haley is also an artist and I think they’d both “get” each other on that level. Nobody in town considers Haley an artist. Leah is a “real” artist, a fine artist and a sculptor. Elliott is a “real” artist by way of being an author. Emily is a “real” artist for her sewing and… y’know… general aura. Those are defining aspects of their character. But to the other people in town, and even to the player, art is not one of Haley’s notable features. Her photography is just a throwaway idea. She’s the shallow, frilly, pink, bubblegum-scented boy-crazy “girly girl” who just also happens to take photos sometimes.But photography is serious TO HALEY. It’s pretty much the only thing she does around town other than wandering aimlessly. She has some pretty impressive equipment and she even builds a dark room for herself, either implicitly converting it from a walk-in wardrobe (which demonstrates how she sees her own priorities, regardless of how others see her) OR she builds it from scratch, which is even more dedicated. I think Leah is the best person in town to recognise that Haley is also an artist who’s dedicated to her craft and probably the only person to really encourage her to pursue it, to tell her that it’s worthwhile and not just some silly hobby. Leah would be able to see a lot of her own internal struggles over art in Haley, about whether it was “good enough”.

Conversely if there’s one thing Haley has which Leah lacks, it’s confidence. Leah is full of self-doubt about her art, her life choices, etc. whereas Haley’s main issue is apathy; once she finds something she’s actually passionate about, she’s very self-assured. I think once they broke the ice and started to become friends, if Leah expressed even a smidgen of self-doubt Haley would shut it down with very over-the-top but sincere pep talks.

I also just think their personalities contrast well, lol. Haley is extremely blunt but she’s not really trying to be rude, it’s just that the things she say often come from a sheltered perspective (i.e. “appearance is important to me” -> “[my concept of] appearance is important to everyone” -> “I should tell people if they’re doing Appearance wrong”). Leah on the other hand is very casual and polite but also hard to offend. She’s mostly content to let the odd comment roll off her back, but as we’ve seen with Kel, she’s also not afraid to tell people off when they’re being inconsiderate, which is what Haley needs - someone who won’t ditch her for putting her foot in her mouth, like most would/do, but also someone who won’t just enable her to stay sheltered.

Also in the context of this being a wlw ship/narrative, I think Haley would need a partner who was comfortable in their own sexuality since Haley (and her thematic counterpart Alex) are both extremely stuck in compulsive heterosexuality and sort of need a partner who… isn’t? Or else they’d just get sucked into a “will-they-won’t-they” vortex for a million years where neither of them know how to make the first move. Leah is the only bachelor(ette) who by default has any canonical LGBTQ relationship before the farmer, and that energy just translates well for Haley, IMO. I think if Haley found out Leah was a wlw then it would force Haley to reconsider her assumptions about her own sexuality.

Leah would go absolutely googoo gaga over Haley IMO and it’s just fun to picture her at the start of their interactions being like “god dammit she annoys me so much but DAMB .. .. .. girl pretty”

I doubt anyone read all of this but I HAD FUN and I’m really really glad to see such a positive response to that art!! I would love it if more people started shipping and making content for them 👀

[langernameohnebedeutung]

(2/2)Mann who writes himself into EVERY one of his novels, usually as this cynic and, quite frankly, unlikable ‘writer genius’ who hates about everyone except the pretty waiters at his favorite restaurant. Or Dostoyevsky who’s selfinserts are always . A complete mess. Or Kafka who’s inserts are even more of a mess AND die horribly. And ofc Since you mentioned Moby Dick there’s also Melville who just straight up unashamedly ships his insert with a handsome buff sailor. That’s so much more fun imo

Just first up: The first half of your ask disappeared once again on, I read it, I drafted it to answer and then it was gone, but I read it and I remember most of my answer to it. You may wonder why I drafted an ask again after the last one disappeared and the answer is because I’m a god-damn moron.

I think the negative opinion people have about self-inserts today has a lot to do with the way people learn writing these days and I think it's especially prominent among writers who either write fanfiction or come into original writing from fanfiction. Many people either read tips or read books on writing and this advice is usually all about 'do-s' and 'don't's in my experience, and I'm not sure that's helpful. But one big Don't is Mary Sue's, self-inserts, because (according to these tips) they might be over-powered or something.

And this makes sense to a certain degree especially from a fanfiction point of view. It is boring if someone who doesn't know any of the characters and their world waltzes in and solves their problems in ten minutes flat as if everyone else had just been morons who couldn't have figured that out for themselves. But I think that's a problem on plot-level not on the character level. It says nothing about the character and whether they are good. They might be interesting. They may be a flat, boring character completely unrelated to the plot. Rather, you should ask yourself if it really makes sense for the character to assemble all the necessary information to solve that problem as quickly as they do. And whether you have properly introduced their means of doing so in a way that makes them relatable to the audience. And obviously, causing problems for your characters that they have to work to overcome is also a part of writing, so you have to ask yourself if you made life difficult enough for them.

The thing is, we live in the age of super-heroes, media-wise, not even just literal ones. Many of the most popular fictional characters are in many ways Mary Sues. And we often talk about how YA novels are very popular among adults as well. And since YA novels often have a young main-character managing feats no one would have expected of them and surviving against the odds, I think it's fair to say that people do want to see that and that they do want to see the unlikely candidate triumph, even if it means cutting some corners regarding how likely it is.

But the problem is that young writers are told to avoid these types of characters and the examples are usually the typical Mary Sue and the typical Mary Sue has certain attributes: stereotypically a good-looking young woman with a minor ‘flaw’, inconspicuous at first but suddenly a badass, not terrified of the big villains etc. So people are often discouraged from using this type of character in general and it's the character itself instead of the plot that is treated as bad writing. And people tend to take this sort of writing advice not only as something that is supposed to help them write but also a tool to judge something already is written and they decide that the existence of a character fitting this description in some shape or form is already a sign that the work is bad. That`s why, the moment someone doesn’t like a particular work, they point towards these characters while they probably like a lot of similar characters in other media. 

Now, your original ask (rip ask) was about writer-inserts rather than self-inserts so maybe this answer might seem off topic, but you mentioned Hermoine Granger as JK Rowling's self-insert, which got me thinking about this question why some are rejected and others are not.

Many people - especially young women - insist that Hermoine was a very important character to them and that they related to her growing up. And I think there is a good reason why the common reaction was: “Hey this girl reminds me of me!” rather than: “Hey, that’s clearly JK Rowling!” Because she is defined by traits that are common experiences. In fact, I would argue that she is even made accessible for the audience to relate to. 

JK Rowling was a teacher. She could have easily made her surrogate a teacher-character in Hogwarts. She could have made it someone her age. It could have been a side-character. But Hermoine is a main-character and in the same age-group as our other main-characters. She’s a pupil, like most of the intended audience. And her experiences are some that are very relatable to many people: She is very intelligent and eager to learn, but people make fun of her for it or are annoyed. She is socially awkward and even bullied. She is insecure about her looks. 

But then, there are also some validating messages in all of this: Her intelligence and knowledge are eventually appreciated and frequently help the heroes save the day. She finds true friends. Men fall in love with her. For the exercise of this ask, I’m going to coin this an ‘open-door’ writer-insert. Open-door, because JK basically invites the readers to identify with her, because Hermoine’s characterisation is dominated by traits that JK shares with many people - not super-exclusive traits like how she likes her tea or sharing her favourite musician. Instead, she goes to extra-length to make this character accessible to her intended audience.

Also, when people talk about relating to fictional characters and Harry Potter in particular, they often point out how it helped them through dark times. Especially now many people write about how Rowling’s views affect their memories of their own childhood, because these books provided them with comfort when they were struggling. My point here is, we don’t relate to characters in that way because we solved our own problems. We relate to them because their struggles resemble our own, not their solutions. In fact, seeing that these fictional characters stay strong and that they find a happy-end is part of why they are able to provide comfort and I think that’s a function that is very particular to these open-door inserts: They tell us we can make it, because they already did.

As a different example, someone else who is very famous for working his own identity into his own characters is Stephen King and his endless string of Main-based authors with personal demons. Misery, for example, is based on his own experiences when fans hounded him over writing a fantasy book rater than the horror they’ve come to expect of him once (as well as his cocaine addiction). But in my opinion, his characters ‘close the door’ rather than open it, because they are very much defined by King’s own personality. I’m not going to make an argument whether that’s better or worse writing, I just think it provides different opportunities and changes the intention. I don’t know (m)any people who read Stephen King novels because the main-characters gave them such hope and strength in their darkest times. And King doesn’t change his insert to match the experiences of his intended audience. 

If you think about Misery, his readers do get a role - that of the insane fan torturing the author to write a work that matches their expectations. Basically, neither of these characters are supposed to make us think: “Wow this is absolutely me and the way they experience the world is absolute relatable to me!” The way we relate to King’s character is by seeing the world through his eyes and facing the problems he does. It’s about their survival rather than the question if they will grow through the experience. 

The main-character of Misery survives, but at the end he’s still struggling with the injuries inflicted on him as well as with alcoholism to make-up for the pain-medication she forced on him. Hermoine ends up being happy and successful. Now, if we were to switch these around, and Hermoine ended up a miserable alcoholic, I’m not sure she would still have been as much of a comfort-character to teenagers and if the main-character of Misery had remained strong and stubborn through it all and ended up well-adjusted and happy, I don’t think the novel would have packed quite the same punch. Because the intentions behind these characters are different, despite them both being writer inserts.

I think another character who is interesting (in that regard) is Bella Swan from Twilight. Now, Stephanie Meyer never officially said that this is her surrogate, but I want to point something out. This is something she says on her website:

I left out a detailed description of Bella in the book so that the reader could more easily step into her shoes. [...] In my head, Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow’s peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She’s five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds. 

Now, this is a photo of Stephanie Meyer:

According to google, she is...5′4. As I said, this is somewhat speculation on my part, but I’m not the first person to point out these similarities. There are so biographical similarities for example that Meyer, raised in Phoenix,  used to feel unpopular at a school and it changed when she moved, according to what I learnt doing a google search on her. 

not like other girls alert

There has already been talked a lot about Twilight and Meyer’s religious origins in the LDS-church (what many people know as Mormon church) and how Bella’s growth and progression as a character and the decisions she makes seem to line up with those in many ways (marriage, family, not aborting a baby that kills her, sex only after the wedding etc.), but since we can speculate in which way or degree Meyer personally shares these ideas and and thinks of them for herself (aka I’m too lazy to google and learn more stuff about Stephanie Meyer), I’m just going to leave the fact that Bella happily attains a very conservative idea of female happiness at the end of her journey (if you disregard the vampire thing).

What I would like to point out is that this character shares a lot of traits with her - physical traits, biography etc. - while at the same time, she says she wanted to leave the character open for the reader to relate to and to identify with her. 

In my last ask on the subject, I talked about the way the third person narrator is thinning out in many novels as a distinct entity and is more and more becoming one with the POV-character. Bella is obviously a first person narrator. Now, you did mention Moby Dick, and we have the same thing here: A first person narrator sharing their experiences with the author. But even the first person narrator is a very distinct entity here. Not that Melville himself makes an appearance, but that Ishmael is very clear about the fact the is telling us a story. Which is how we know he is going survive the journey, because he still there, afterwards, to tell us about his trip.

The famous first sentence of Moby Dick is: “Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” He makes it clear that this has happened in the past, he talks to the reader directly (call me Ishamel) as if in conversation and then goes on.

He also makes it clear that he is writing about a past events at a different point of events:

“He had been a sailor and a harpooneer in his youth, but for many years past had dedicated his life to the ministry. At the time I now write of, Father Mapple was in the hardy winter of a healthy old age.”

Now, here’s the preface to the first Twilight novel:

“I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.” 

After this, the first chapter starts and we are immediately with Bella on her way to the airport, she tells us why she is going to Forks, what Forks is, why she is leaving and so on. There are also two points in time here, but they are employed differently and for different reasons:

Bella is constructed in a way for us to relate to her and identify with her - Meyer says that herself that she even held back on talking about her looks in order to make her accessible to the reader - so using a first person narrator opens the door for us. The future point in time in the preface creates suspense - she says she is about to die and that’s what we prepare ourselves for during the story (even if we assume she might survive after all, we know she will be in danger and we know that she will sacrifice herself for someone she loves).

Moby Dick has a first person narrator, because it’s Ishmael writing down his story for us to read. On a technical level, we take his perspective, but we are provided with an in-story reason for the first person narrator. And while we can at least speculate that Bella might die, if we know nothing else about the franchise or the genre when we encounter that preface, we also know from the first sentence on that Ishmael is going to survive, because ‘he’ has written down this story for us. And by giving an in-story reason for a first person narrator, the story is already closing the door a little by saying: ‘this is a distinct character and you are reading his story, that’s why it uses I/me pronouns’. 

Now, I already mentioned that I found it interesting that JK’s self insert is a pupil rather than a teacher and that she is younger than JK. The same thing happens with Bella the Meyer-look-alike: She is a student and pupil, like the target audience, going through experiences that Meyer did in her youth. And for her as well, things work out. She is a principled character, finds friends, boys fight over her and she ends up finding an immortal, perfect, beautiful family she becomes part of. 

Beauty is an interesting thing in Twilight, btw, in my opinion. The way Meyer describes Bella (literally named Beauty and aftera Bird symbolising Beauty), she is quite good-looking with some ‘flaws’, like her lips being ‘too full for her face’. Now, there is nothing wrong with having full lips, obviously, but Meyer says ‘a bit too full for her face’ and I think this is already part of the typical traits of an open-door author-insert in my opinion: They are a little it ‘too’ this or ‘too’ that to be perfect models, but they’re also rarely described as actually ugly. Hermoine has teeth that are too long (magicked away after that teeth growing accident) and is always mentioned to have ‘bushy hair’. Bella is also said to be very pale, even comparing herself to an albino (you know, because Meyer went to such length to make her character’s looks relatable to everyone). Pale skin is at odds with the sun-kissed other-girls in Phoenix and symbolises Bella’s otherness in many ways, that she isn’t like what Meyer calls the ‘barbies’.

The fact that pale = beautiful in Twilight and that beauty is important becomes very obvious when dealing with the Cullens:

“And yet, they were all exactly alike. Every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town. Paler than me, the albino. They all had very dark eyes despite the range in hair tones. They also had dark shadows under those eyes — purplish, bruiselike shadows.As if they were all suffering from a sleepless night, or almost done recovering from a broken nose. Though their noses, all their features, were straight, perfect, angular. But all this is not why I couldn't look away. I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see except perhaps on the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the face of an angel. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful — maybe the perfect blond girl, or the bronzehaired boy.”

They are good beautiful - sullen, mysterious. Not bad beautiful: frivolous, talkative, loud, dumb. And they’re also not beautiful with a minor flaw - but beautiful with no flaw. 

Bella Swan acquires that beauty by the end and becomes one of them - once her transformation into a vampire is complete. Hermoine also transforms - and turns from the nerd girl into a confident, strong young woman and played a major role in defeating the people who discriminated against her in her youth. 

I described these sort of characters as open-door characters. They bear strong resemblance to the author in Bella’s case and Hermoine is the declared author-insert for Rowling, but these authors went to extra length to make them accessible to the reader to identify with them. Basically, the author invited the reader to enter that open door. 

The fact that they have positive endings and that the struggles that the reader relates to are dissolved (satisfying or not) provides comfort. I already mentioned that with the whole thing that is going on with Rowling, a lot of people write about their own experiences with Harry Potter. And I’ve not seen people write: “I liked these books because the characters solved their problems like I did or because I, too, grew up to be happy” - they say they related in their darkest time, when they were feeling down and when there were no solutions to their problems in sight. These characters are designed to offer hope and advice and remind you that these traits you share with them or that you assume you share with them are good and something to be proud of and they tell you that you can succeed. I already said that it would have been very dissatisfying if Hermoine had ended up like Paul Sheldon. Even worse if they had actually been killed off: Basically, that would have been the equivalent of the author inviting the reader through that open door and then hitting them over the head with  a hammer. That would have been...kafkaesk.

Heh. Transitions.

You already mentioned Kafka’s tendency to kill off his main-characters. With Kafka, things are always quite complex and there are so many different interpretations and takes on his work and its meaning. It’s important to keep in mind that he is a modernist and the reader is ‘invited’ to actively interpret the text, figure things out, make sense of things and notice contradictions. 

Metamorphosis can easily be concluded to draw on Kafka’s own problems with his family and his father. His works are always filled with obstacles that are both insurmountable and banal, drawn from reality and yet surreal. Nothing hits home like reading Der Prozess or Das Schloss while you’re too mentally slouched to deal with the last ten incomprehensible letters you got from your local Verbandsgemeindeverwaltung. „Die Fessel der gequälten Menschheit sind aus Kanzleipapier,” indeed, Franz, indeed. (”The chain of the tormented human race are made of office paper”)

I wanted to look at Metamorphosis specifically, because for one, it’s one where it’s most easily arguable that family situation very closely resembles Kafka’s own. Also I already mentioned that the open-door author-inserts usually undergo a transformation (did I already mention that this is the age of super-heroes?) of some form. There is an old debate over whose metamorphosis Die Verwandlung is actually about - Gregor Samsa’s or that of his sister? While Samsa wastes away, his sister turns into a strong young woman - much like Bella or Hermoine. And yet many people see her betrayal of Gregor as the 'big’ one, the ultimate act of betrayal that destroys Gregor and of her even as the actual villain of the story rather than the father. There is also the general metamorphosis of his relationships- for example his sister’s social position in the family is better now that Gregor is an insect and his father has far more power over him than before.

Gregor Samsa has very relatable fears, concerns and anxieties: He has a hard job and he does it to support his family. He yearns for the love of his family. This is something a lot of people can relate to. After he turns into the Ungeziefer, he not only learns that his family had savings, they also treat him worse and worse now that they he is no longer feeding them.

If we consider Gregor Samsa as an open-door character - someone sharing similarities with the author who has been designed to be accessible for the reader to relate to - we also have to ask ourselves: Is he a comfort character? A comforting message would be if he fought back, found someone who loved him even in his Ungeziefer-form and he had built a life for himself somewhere.

But Samsa doesn’t fight back, he desires his family’s love no matter how badly they treat him and until he wastes away after his sister says he needs to go. Samsa's story isn’t about growth or learning or overcoming obstacles. He is constantly wasting away - so if we consider him a character open to project ourselves on, he’s not one intended to be comforting because that’s not the point of the story. His love for his family is not some secret super-power that overcomes all difficulties, it’s his weakness.

His situation is also not an every day situation like going to school - it’s a highly surreal one being turned into an Ungeziefer. He gets turned into a strange creature, he is confined into a single room etc. I already mentioned that Kafka had a tendency to erase certain information while editing his works - for example, an earlier draft of The Castle contained K. musing: ‘In this way I was fighting not the others but rather myself”, but Kafka took it out for the reader to come to that conclusion. And with a situation like Samsa’s, we can also make up our own mind about who his struggle is with and what everything means and - if we identify with him - what our Ungeziefer-state is, what our Lady in Fur is, what our Abstellkammer would look like, who our father is and sister etc..

But the whole thing is - you don’t read Kafka because his characters are so fascinating. He didn’t want them to be complex and fascinating. He went out of his way to make them less so and you already said, it’s pretty much the opposite of a character like Hermoine. It goes very deep into the realm of speculation which author based which traits of what character on themselves for what reasons or if it was voluntary or not, but I think the way people do it has a lot to do with genre, writing style, audience etc. and I thing right now is a time where a lot of fiction is all about making a change, growing having happy ends. If you look around tumblr for writing advice, sad endings are often criticised as cynical, edgy and depressing. People complain about gritty characters. Wholesome escapism is simply very popular right now and that’s why self-inserts, imo, are going to be wholesome and escapist. But specifically when talking about self-inserts, a wholesome positive self-insert is going to collide with the expectation that such self inserts are bad writing.

I also think big names play a role. JKR is a big name in fiction and Harry Potter is a big deal for our generation - the “read a different book!” meme pretty much illustrates the huge monopoly Harry Potter has for us. I’d argue that Harry Potter, while not a self-insert, also has a lot of Mary Sue traits, but because he’s a male character and not Rowling’s self-insert, he already escapes quite a lot of criticism. I’m pretty sure if Harry Potter had a female main-character, there would have been much more criticism, especially if the main-character had publicly said that this was her self-insert. 

If you think about the works of Mann and Melville and Kafka, these are classics today, so they aren’t really subject to the trend of being wholesome and heroic. And King is a brand of himself, by himself and his name stands for a certain brand of fiction and a certain style of writing and a certain type of characters.

Twilight has become an acceptable thing to dislike, because it was liked by teenage girls (so the dudebro fraction likes it) and it’s restrictive and conservative and pretentious enough for its own fans to outgrow and no longer defend it. People did criticise the main-character especially, for being bland, helpless, only caring about her bf etc. but I think if Twilight had never taken off the way it did, it would have been forgotten among many other cheesy love stories. But it hit the right nail a the right time, took off and then the wind abruptly changed and people specifically disliked this kind of character and found it ‘cringy’ - I actually wanted to say something on the subject of cringe-culture but I forgot, but let it be said, I think it also plays a big role that being cringy has become such a big crime and that a self-insert means that you can accuse the author themselves of being cringy so that too might influence the opinions on making self-inserts. 

Either way, I think it has a lot to do with this sort of immunity timeless classics have and also with genre - because it puts a YA-hero spin on the self insert and those are usually characters who are in the same age bracket as the intended audience, have similar problems (romance) etc. and usually these stories have a happy end as well.

[daughterofluthien]

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag some people.

Tagged by @brambleberrycottage! Thank you!!

(a note: these are not necessarily my fave shows or anything, but they are the shows that are more on my mind than others :P)

Teen Wolf

Star Wars Rebels

Stargate: SG-1

Leverage

Parks & Recreation

Who is your favorite character in 2? Kanan Jarrus. He has a fantastic character arc, he’s a wonderful mentor and space dad, and he’s probably my fave Jedi (and character) in all of Star Wars. Sorry about it, Obi Wan 

Who is your least favorite character in 1? I mean, I don’t tend to focus on least favorite characters too often. However, I do generally have a vague desire to punch Theo in the face anytime he’s onscreen.... He’s slightly better in 6B with the (incredibly rushed) redemption arc and all that, but like. Also.

What is your favorite episode of 4? Oh man, that’s a really difficult question for this show, actually. But for sheer creativity and memorability, I’d probably say “The Rashomon Job.” That was one of the ones that really stuck in my from when I first watched the show, and it ended up being just as good as I remembered.

What is your favorite season of 5? Hmmm I wanna say either S3 or S5. The harvest festival arc in 3 is great, but all the Leslie/Ben stuff in S5? Beautiful and iconic.

Who is your favorite couple in 3? I was a Jack/Sam shipper way back in the day, and that honestly hasn’t changed.

Who is your favorite couple in 2? Kanan/Hera! They’re just... !!! They care about each other! They’re supportive! They just love each other so much and I have so many feelings

What is your favorite episode of 1? “Frayed” Like !!! The entirety of 3A up to this point has been building up to the idea of Scott being/becoming an Alpha, and, like, throughout the season we see him do little Alpha things -- being a leader, pretty much everything about his relationship w/ Isaac, etc. And then!! Then!! This is the episode where he actually starts to realize it! And where he actively chooses the leadership role!

And I’m sorry, I’m not done talking about this episode yet, because I honestly just have so many feelings?? And it’s got this one moment. One moment in particular. Which may be one of my favorite moments in the entire series. Like the whole set up is really good (it’s also one of the few TW eps where anachronic order actually worked), and there’s this whole moment in the middle where Scott and Isaac have to calm Boyd down and keep him from attacking Ethan, as Boyd thinks the Alpha Pack killed Derek. And then, at the end of the episode, Isaac (who did not get upset about Derek in the same way Boyd did) learns that Scott isn’t healing from the wound he got fighting the Alphas, and he just. Absolutely freaks out and attacks Ethan.

(The show directly parallels Boyd’s reaction about Derek to Isaac’s reaction about Scott, and !!!)

BUT THEN. Then Scott comes out. And he roars.

And it’s not technically a roar, but he yells Isaac’s name and it has power behind it. And everyone (including Boyd) notices.

But Isaac!! Isaac stops! He responds as if it was a roar! And I’m!! Gonna go!! Absolutely!! Feral!!!

Ahem.

Anywho that’s my fave episode of TW, and I really love my Alpha son

What is your favorite episode of 5? Oh man, I don’t actually remember a lot of specific favorite episodes, even though I know there’s a lot of eps that I really like... I’m thinking “Flu Season”? But also that’s just one among many very good episodes.

What is your favorite season of 2? I’m gonna say S4, actually. I thought the show had a really strong ending, and I love the final arcs of all the characters.

How long have you watched 1? So I started watching in... 2012 or 2013 I think? And then watched off and on through at least part of S4. Then I started a rewatch here in the year of our Lord 2020 and uh. Here we are :P

How did you become interested in 3? This was actually one of the first fandoms that tiny!Carolyn was ever involved in! My mom discovered it back in like... 2003 or something, decided it was not inappropriate for her barely nine-year-old daughter, and from then on we were both pretty much hooked. 

Who is your favorite actor in 4? Mmm frick, do I have to pick? Probably either Christian Kane or Aldis Hodge. But also Beth Riesgraf is fantastic, too, the whole show is just so delightful. 

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Okay okay okay. So. Rebels is definitely the tighter written and better show, imo, but also I’m having a ton of Teen Wolf feelings right now and I just care so much about this characters. So like, currently and tentatively, Teen Wolf? (Sorry P&R, I love you, but straight sitcoms are probably never going to be my pick, even though it is really good)

Which show have you seen more episodes of - 1 or 3? So like, this is really just a contest of how many episodes each show has, right? Since I can’t imagine picking a show for a game like this if I hadn’t seen all the eps? Anywho, seeing as Teen Wolf has 100 episodes and SG-1 has 213 episodes, I think SG-1 is the clear winner here.

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? So like, I wanna say Amy Palavi, the waitress in their Brewpub in S5? She doesn’t have a terribly intense life or tragic backstory, but she also gets to befriend and hang out with Parker -- along with some mild involvement in shenanigans -- so that seems ideal, honestly.

(And yes, I know she gets kidnapped in that one ep, but that works out all right in the end, so I’m still down.)

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? Weirdly, absolutely yes. I’ve actually read a few that were pretty good.

In fact, according to Word of God, Leverage and Stargate actually take place in the same universe? Apparently there were going to be a flashback gag with Eliot going through the gate as part of one of his many past jobs, but they weren’t able to do it, due to the sets already have been dismantled.

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? Huh, oh man. I’m not usually much of rarepair person tbh. And like this is literally something I’m pulling out of absolutely nowhere and haven’t actually thought about before now. But maybe Sydney/Hayden? or Sydney/Lori?

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? Y’know, I was gonna go with Stargate with this one, but actually the big storyarcs were never my favorite part of SG-1. Whereas P&R actually had some really good and emotionally compelling arcs. So I’m actually gonna go with Parks & Rec with this one.

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? Neither of them really have much theme music to speak of, but if we’re just talking about music, then Rebels is the clear winner here. Like seriously, props to Kevin Kiner et al., it has some seriously fantastic musical cues. Heck, the score for the finale got nominated for an emmy.

Tagging @whitecatgraycatblackcat, @experimentaldata, and @darnitjack! Also, as always, feel free to do this if you feel so inclined, and please tag me and let me know!

[retrauxpunk]

thoughts on cardigan/august/betty

AKA the songs that taylor swift herself referred to as the teenage love triangle. the whole album is packed with excellent lyrics dense with meaning but this trio in particular is a great narrative and i wanna talk about it.

okay so imo there are two main ways to interpret this love triangle: 1) the standard f/m way, and 2) the sapphic way.

i’ll refer to the three people as betty, james, and august. i know august isn’t necessarily the narrator of august’s name ... but it works as a name and it’s a pretty name and i like it so there.

interpretation 1: the standard f/m/f love triangle

betty is a girl and james is a boy. this is kind of the most obvious/easy interpretation, because james is typically a boy’s name. and skateboards (‘one time i was riding on my skateboard’) and levis (‘dancing in your levis’), while not unambiguously masculine by any means, kind of hint at a boy ... if taylor was trying to make it obvious that james is a girl, she could easily be more obvious by mentioning more typically/obviously feminine things.

betty and james are a couple. it went wrong at a school dance (‘your favourite song was playing / from the far side of the gym’). james either refused to go to the dance in the first place (but somewhat changed his mind and ended up arriving partway through it), or attended but was standoffish and reluctant to dance/hang out with betty (‘i was nowhere to be found / i hate the crowds’). maybe they were already having a rough patch and that’s also why he didn’t go to the dance.

betty is upset because obviously she wants her boyfriend to attend the dance with her and spend time with her and dance and all. but james doesn’t. so she dances with another boy (‘plus, i saw you dance with him’) because she’s lonely/upset and/or just wants to have fun at the school dance.

i’m imagining this other boy to be a friend of betty’s or maybe a romantic rival of james’s. maybe to betty he’s just a friend and she’s just trying to have fun at a dance after being ditched by james, or maybe betty views him as a potential romantic prospect and in a moment of weakness after being ditched at the dance by her boyfriend james, decides to dance with this other boy to feel better about herself ... maybe as a kind of petty revenge on james. who knows.

james sees betty dancing with the other boy and gets jealous and mad, interpreting this as something akin to cheating or at least some kind of betrayal. he leaves, and on his way home august pulls up in her car.

the line ‘a figment of my worst intentions’ suggest to me pretty strongly that james’s worst intentions at this moment are something like ‘i’m angry at betty for dancing with that other guy, i should get back at her by getting with another girl as revenge!’

and in this moment of weakness, august is there inviting him to go on a drive with her ... and he does. and this turns into a summer affair, where all through the month of august he basically ghosts/ignores betty and cheats on her a whole bunch with august.

i say cheating because of the line in august that goes ‘you were never mine to lose’ ... as in, she knows james isn’t her’s because he’s in a relationship with betty. august, as the ‘other woman’, has no claim on james. because he’s betty’s, not hers.

alternate version of this is that betty and james weren’t officially a couple, but rather ... they clearly were into each other romantically but hadn’t quite made it official yet, but then the drama at the school dance happens and james fucks off and has a summer fling with august. which isn’t exactly cheating per se because betty and james weren’t together but ... they both knew they liked each other so it’s still a big betrayal when james to suddenly get with august and spend summer with her instead.

that said, ‘i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired’ suggests cheating to me ... the thrill of it being forbidden. (though arguably not-technically-cheating-but-ditching-your-love-for-someone-new could also be a thrill, just because it’s someone new...) 

betty hears rumours of james’s cheating/betrayal from inez and either breaks up with james (if they were together officially) or essentially cuts him off (if they weren’t). james has massive regrets and shows up at betty’s party to try and win her back.

interpretation 2: the sapphic love triangle

in terms of basic storyline, this interpretation is pretty much the same as the first one, in that james and betty were together in some way, then james ditches betty at a dance, she dances with a boy, james gets mad and in a fit of spite/vengeance gets with august and has a thing with her all summer long (possibly cheating, possibly not-technically-cheating-but-still-betrayal-of-a-sort) ... so i won’t rehash it further ... BUT in this version james is a girl.

cases in favour of james being a girl: 1) taylor swift, a woman, sings the song. makes sense that the narrator is therefore also female. 2) james and inez are the names of blake lively’s daughters. seems like a hint that james is a girl, then. 3) there’s actually nothing explicitly gendered about james except for the name ... in which case see point 2). 4) riding a skateboard and wearing levi’s fits pretty well for a sapphic girl ... as does black lipstick and sweatshirts.

i think both explanations are pretty plausible and i enjoy both of them ... but the sapphic one a little more because, well, obvious reasons. it’s more interesting/original and adds some more meaning to some lyrics that wouldn’t punch as hard if it were m/f, such as ‘will you kiss me on the porch / in front of all your stupid friends?’ -- it takes on a new layer: judgemental/homophobic friends

also this tidbit doesn’t fit in neatly to this very rambly thing i just wrote but i wanna say, ‘a friend to all is a friend to none’ suggests to me that when james first got in august’s car, it was because james wanted to hang out in a platonic way (at least that’s what they tell themselves/betty) and then it turned romantic/sexual ... and it could also suggest that when betty first became aware of august, she knew/suspected that august had a thing for james but james told her ‘nah, august is just a friend, and i want to keep hanging out with her because i want to keep being friends with her’. 

anyway. just wanted to get that out there. 

these songs are excellent and the album is excellent.