#which is more than most people have tbqh

[voidedgear]

The fire splits apart as it rockets toward Kairi, and when she throws herself to the ground, they scream over her head. They’d been tracking her movements, so they'd arched down and crashed into the ground with a loud roar. The grass is momentarily set ablaze before the darkness that holds the spell together disperses, and the magical flames die down.

‘She was lucky,’ Vanitas thinks, ‘with that kind of movement, throwing herself to the side wouldn’t have put enough distance to escape.’

Still, what does it matter? Nothing the princess did would change how this was going to end. She’s the weakest link in the chain that connected the ones born on that light-filled island. Vanitas knows it, and he suspected that Kairi knows it, too.

This thought serves nothing but to increase Vanitas’ aggression. How dare she? How dare she exist as something so important to Sora? How dare she influence Vanitas through his connection to his “brother?”

If Sora ever managed to return, if he heard about this…

Well, Vanitas could easily recall the sheer panic he’d felt through their bond when Xemnas had taken the girl in front of him. He’d undoubtedly seek Vanitas out and fight with him. They would clash and find themselves strengthened in turn—if Ventus doesn’t take matters into his own hands first. Honestly, Vanitas would prefer the second to the first. He’s almost missing him.

If Kairi survives this, Vanitas has no doubt she’ll learn something from their encounter. If she survives.

He’s still one with the ground, speeding toward her when—

     “I’m not letting you hide from me anymore!!” Kairi screams out as her Keyblade blazes with magic.

For a split second, before the light’s intensity ramped up and seared him from the ground, Vanitas suddenly recalls something from before he and Ventus had been ripped apart. He’d been burrowing into his heart only to be surrounded by a vast light, a light that he had discovered to be just as vast as his darkness. Vanitas had never managed to forget that feeling.

A shadow cast onto the ground, surrounded by light, is not threatened when it is held in the grasp of such an even light. It is contained, cradled in warmth, all thoughts of spreading and infection forgotten in the sheer comfort of feeling whole. Surrounded by that sensation, Vanitas wouldn’t have minded an eternity entwined with that boy.

Then, Kairi’s light intensifies, and all is burning and pain. He halts in his approach, faltering and shaking as he tries to keep himself from getting overwhelmed. He’d been almost under her feet, but now he flees backward away from her. It’s not enough.

Vanitas snarls like an animal as he rips himself from the ground, unable to find any refuge from the princess’ light. He raises his hand in front of his face protectively, pupils contracting into narrow slits behind his helmet. Parts of it began to crack, the darkness that clothed him partially eaten away by the display. His bodysuit is eaten away around his shoulders, revealing pale skin that harshly contrasts the darkness he wears.

He'd been almost to her, and now he kneels there on the grass before her, his Keyblade at his side. He’s vulnerable, but he won’t be for long enough. Both his heart and body ache at the reminder Kairi had given him and his pain sharpens his focus.

This wasn’t even close to being enough to stop him. The cracks repair themselves as Kairi’s display of power fades. He’s lucky his helmet is so dark; it keeps his eyes from being blinded.

He lowers his arm and readies his blade again, raising it up with the tip angled downward.

There’s something beautiful about having this fight here, in the Land of Departure. He’d always imagined what it would be like if he’d gotten to come here instead of Ventus. It would have never been permitted, of course. Only Xehanort knew how to turn Vanitas’ pain into power. Eraqus would have eliminated him as soon as he discovered what he was.

Logically, Vanitas had no other place than at the side of his creator, no matter how much Vanitas might have hated him. Logic, however, is a poor substitute for emotion. Just being back here, seeing this beautiful world that is so unlike the empty graveyard he grew up in, just kindles the edges of Vanitas’ envy.

He’s glad he’d decided not to sightsee before picking this fight with Kairi. It would all just be a reminder of what he didn’t have.

“It’s gonna take more than a little light show to stop me, Your Highness.” Vanitas sneers at her, darkness enveloping the parts of his suit that had been eaten away, settling in, and repairing it faster than it takes to blink. “Why don’t I show you a trick of my own?”

The darkness he’d summoned quickly grows, wrapping around him, and he disappears from the girl’s sight. He’s a thousand particles rushing through the air, recreating himself behind the princess faster than she can breathe. Void Gear is already raised aloft by the time he reconfigures himself, and gravity begins to apply again.

“Too slow.”

He lets himself fall, swinging his arms down to let the weight of Void Gear slam down toward Kairi’s unprotected back. Particles of ice concentrate around the tip of his Keyblade, and a spear of ice shoots up from the ground as soon as his blade slams into it.

☄. *. ⋆ ┈┈┈ Kairi isn't entirely sure what she was expecting--maybe a nice long, meandering speech about darkness and its woes just like Xehanort especially loved--but this boy doesn't even pause at Destiny's Embrace shining into her grip--

She had the silly thought there'd be some sort of clue that he'd rush at her like this--his dark Keyblade clashing so horribly with her own, sparks of light and shadow bursting around them the moment of contact, showering over them in an insidiously pretty way--that there'd be some blatant clue to his next action and that's how Sora and Riku were able to so easily sweep away their enemies--

But there's none of that... in fact, it's like she's fighting against a powerful demigod that's throwing a tantrum and it's terrifying and unnerving, he's strong enough that her legs are burning from pushing all her weight into their interlocked blades, just so he doesn't crush her with his darkness all at once--

And she can't predict anything, because she doesn't think she can match his rage or pain.

The way he pours so much effort and hate into their battle despite hardly knowing her should be telling--yet it takes everything in Kairi to simply focus on standing and to not be swept away entirely by the hopeless gulf of experience between them, so she can't figure out why he's here and why she's being punished for something she doesn't know she did.

It's really unfair, she thinks with shockingly watery eyes as she becomes aware of the darkness writhing around the boy's fingers now--this is the sign she'd been looking for before, the telling clue that he's going to strike her hard and she should be getting ready for it--

(But she's fought very few on this nameless boy's level--Xehanort and Xemnas had made quick work of her graceful flailing when she tried before--Xehanort had even killed her by wrenching her away from her friends as easily as a doll pried out of a child's clenched fingers, so when her helmeted assailant bounces away she has no idea what he's capable of...)

The moment he flings himself back, she's left standing there among the silvery grass more than helplessly--trying so hard just to figure out what's coming next, she can't even imagine what she should be doing now....

Then he screams at her as he lashes out a fiery spell composed of shadow and crackling heat both, "Show me what makes you worth this!"

( What makes me worth this...? But I don't even know you!!! )

She doesn't have time to reply to his cry--that roaring fireball is going to reach her in seconds and he's oozed into the grass, seemingly gone all at once--

( Where did he go?! Where did he go?! )

She's panicking, she's aware of this--though she finds this breathless fear sharpens everything around her suddenly, the grass is abruptly crisp and made of a thousand shades of gray, the fireball is slowing in her mind's eye--and she doesn't know it, but this is adrenaline pure and intoxicating... she hasn't felt it pulse through her this powerfully before, because maybe she's aware this time no one is coming to save her.

If she can't save herself this time... it's game over. She knows that... so she has to at least try to fight!!

She throws herself out of the dark spell's way, a bit like she learned in school during all those (what she had once thought) silly little fire drills--

Whenever the fire marshals came to her elementary back then, they always told her and all her classmates STOP DROP AND ROLL and though she thankfully isn't burned by the whizzing flames, she finds the advice is helpful now--even if it forces her to stumble up clumsily, at least she got out of the way.

And then, without looking back, she's running hard, each frenzied footfall slapping the grass with enough force to crush it completely--and she hurries around their arena, skirting the edge of the hill as she scopes out the area--she knows he isn't gone entirely, that'd be way too easy...!

( He disappeared into the ground, like the Heartless do... like those Shadow Heartless do... )

Finally, she gets an idea--maybe she can do more than just react and run, maybe she can draw him out!

She bites her bottom lip nervously, yet even so she pushes on--darting quickly and gripping Destiny's Embrace too hard, then she strikes out the golden blade to her side and takes a deep, rattling breath--

"I'm not afraid of the dark--can you say the same about the Light?!" Kairi cries out suddenly--

She whips around--like an abrupt turn spun out by a dancer, like she learned to do when she was little and her parents signed her up for ballet classes that she hated, because she couldn't play with Sora and Riku as much as she used to and, despite quitting those lessons after a year, she's jarringly graceful in the way she twirls and settles quickly--

( How weird--it's not my lessons with Master Aqua or the training I worked on with Lea that's helping me now... it's my memories! )

Destiny's Embrace starts glowing brightly, encased in the same fiery Light from her heart and she flings its tip at the ground, buries the blade deeply into the grass and dirt and it sinks as if its clasping into a lock--she impossibly spins the elegant handle of her Keyblade and there's a distinct TICK, as if she's about to open a surreal, bright door they can't see--

"I'm not letting you hide from me anymore!!" She screams--

Light BURSTS from her Keyblade planted in the ground--the arena had been just a simple hill speckled with gleaming grass and wildflowers, but now the Light devours all of that... and, yes, the Light does burn and not in a soothing way either...

Kairi is starting to learn--albeit slowly and with great hesitation--the Light can heal, it can breathe hope into the darkest souls... but if it isn't treated kindly and if it isn't respected for all its splendor, then it will readily and without mercy turn its bright whimsy into something angry and scorching and white-hot, something that isn't as easy to carry as love and belief...

Kairi rips out her Keyblade, looking around for her newest enemy among the glittering battlefield they now clash over... the grass is beneath all this Light, like all the natural bits of this hill are now lost to them under a glassy sheen, and it becomes clear to Kairi she might never get to see shooting stars again... not if she can't find a way out of this quickly.

She's getting the sinking feeling summoning forth a wave of Light like this is a bit like poking at a raging, imposing bear and she's still just a little girl at the end of this...

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Court of the Undying Seasons

NA high fantasy

demigirl volunteers to be taken by the vampires instead of her friend intending to kill them for revenge, but quickly learns that’ll be impossible unless she becomes one

she has to get through her training to become a vampire or live as a human thrall, and quickly gets swept up in their world - and discovers a string of murders that could have dire consequences for them all

[mswyrr]

The opening sequence of 1x04 at the bot manufacturing facility remains one of the most important to me in the show because of how it frames the overall social structure as a spectrum of instrumentalization.

That is what Murderbot was born out of. It was born of indentured "parents" who have no choice about creating it; it was born of people the Company is stealing decades of the prime of their lives from (for many, probably stealing the chance to have children of their own if they want to, or deep friendships, or hobbies, or time with lovers); it was born to be used up and thrown away, not loved.

It exists at the farthest end of the spectrum, a person fully treated as an object and systematically hobbled and imprisoned in its own mind for that purpose, disallowed anything of itself or for itself, but other people are treated more or less like objects, including its "creators"/"parents".

It's the little touches, like the supervisors trying to soften things, but the situation is impossible and, notably, there's no deep solidarity between anyone here, not workers or supervisors and certainly not with the bots:

And this:

There must be plenty of people who die indentured--maybe even due to unsafe workplaces they have no choice about-- die like the bots do, denied a life of their own, used up, and then gone.

And then the visual of the indentured human worker looking into the face of Murderbot:

"Why do they all look different? The faces." And the answer is: because they're all people, just like you. (Just like you; in a sense, the indentured workers are reproducing after their own kind in the facility -- Company fodder begats Company fodder)

I think this is my favorite part, though:

Sanctuary Moon, as far as I can tell, has taught Murderbot a lot about being a person. Values and aspirations and wishes for a better future. That's its comfort show! And the comfort show of one of its "parents" too... a show which the other worker calls "trash."

And it is trash! But it's also art, made by people, which other people can still get something out of -- even enough to maybe save them a little, their sense of personhood, their sense of peace in the midst of all this. Hopes and dreams of significance and teamwork and there being a meaning to life.

Hopes that things don't have to be like this, expressed in the shitty lyrics of the theme song that nonetheless Murderbot loves so much it sings along with it: "there's a place beyond the wormhole / a place that only lovers know/ the brave, the hopeful, the lost, the true / maybe me and you."

All of these are things the indentured workers lack, things the bots they create are denied.

I'm gonna take a major u-turn here and say -- all of this made me think of Karl Marx LOL. Specifically how the way he talked about the role of 19th Century religion was more nuanced than is commonly quoted.

The quote:

"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."

I think that, in the storyverse of Murderbot, *mass media* is that to people. It is the painkiller, the opium people use to endure the spectrum of instrumentalization they're trapped within. And the story is ambivalent about that (even as it is, within our world, also one of the ways many viewers are enduring soulless conditions; our world isn't as atheist, though, so religion is still a competitor for that role) -- I don't think it's condemnatory. (It could hardly be without being hypocritical tbqh). There is hope in what art--ANY art, even trashy art-- can do for people. It does help the worker sleep, it did keep Murderbot sane enough to survive and maybe even one day grow and heal.

But there is desperate, devastating sadness in *why* people need it so much. The fact that it can help them, because it's art, isn't wrong. The way art can connect people is beautiful. But the fact that so little of life and beauty belongs to people otherwise is incredibly wrong.

The thing about opium is that it does a great job killing pain! It gives you other problems in time, but easing pain is a good thing. When people are in too much pain, it's hard to do anything or think of anything else. And if you are alive and able to function, if you can keep holding on, then there's hope -- hope to (as Murderbot is doing) find people who matter (people who will care about you as a person even when the whole damn system is rigged against you), and hope to find people who might want a make a better world, one where people don't need opium so much.

[transmutationisms]

I was just reading the anti psych faq you helped write, found it really interesting. I’ve found myself with a question more about prison abolition, which I find broadly reasonable but I’m slightly sceptical of the idea that no one should experience incarceration. The two edge cases im thinking of are serial killers and counterrevolutionaries - I realise the former is an insignificant minority but it still seems to me that in the case of a repeated murderer acting from an incentive other than economic need it’s necessary to restrict their freedom in some way to prevent it continuing maybe? And obviously I think most serious communists would agree some form of repression of the bourgeoisie is necessary for the survival of a socialist state

i don't think serial killers is even a hypothetical worth entertaining tbqh. first of all it's a cop narrative you're still entertaining, second of all you're now assuming prisons even 'work', either in the sense of successfully capturing violent individuals or, and this one matters more, in the sense of eliminating violence. a prison is a site of violence, both the incarceration itself and the conditions inside it. all you've done if you do manage to incarcerate a bunch of people, no matter how violent they were or weren't, is displace violence to somewhere other people don't have to think about it anymore. running the rape factory to prevent violence.

& i fucking hate getting into the counterrevolutionaries discourse on here so i won't really

because it immediately turns into the most pigheaded possible contest between ppl who contrarily declare that any possible form of like basic social organisation is repression vs ppl who contrarily declare that if the party they like does something it's intrinsically fine (backyard surgery vs the people's cecot) & i don't think anyone actually disagrees it is necessary to suppress the bourgeoisie or that violence is part of class warfare lol but then they go round and round playing language games about what is suppression and what is an institution and how close do we want to get to just restating the fucking libertarian non-aggression principle. and this has the same problem as any prison discourse, which is that people assume incarceration like. works. for example the idea of 'reeducation camps' actually changing people's minds lol like, ok me when i think the world is high school debate club and i think high school debate club has ever changed someone's mind on anything at all. if you think certain political action or speech needs to be suppressed i don't think that's actually an unusual position at all but the trick is which and how. and nobody wants to be serious and own their position on the weeds of these questions they just want to write snappy one liners about carcerality or class character and get a few hundred notes from Blogs. in capitalist society suppression of revolutionaries occurs largely via economic mechanisms, ie the threat or imposition of poverty; the state has a monopoly on certain articulations of this violence but certainly not on others (ive said before but most freedom of speech discourse needs to be understood as a problem more likely to concern retaliation by your employer than by a shadowy governmenr agent showing up at your door). so it seems to me largely the real question is, given we ('we') broadly do agree this economic mechanism is bad & unjust & precisely the thing we are fighting against existing, what analogue are we imagining to deal with the reverse problem of counterrevolutionaries in a communist or transitional condition. & you can't just say oh limited prisons or prisons but they're really niceys or prisons but they work this time but you also can't just say everyone will run around individually like adam smith free moral agents but in agreement with me because i liberated them like you have to actually answer the question so that's tumblr done for

[jackalopc]

admittedly, as someone whose neurodivergent (ND), i get when my fellow ND folks get frustrated with social interactions with neurotypical (NT) folks. because it can be very frustrating! but i think there is a wild misunderstanding there because: NT folks also have [social] scripts.

i think there are also a few other factors that like, are adding to this like misunderstanding/weird navigation around social situations? i'm by no means an expert, and ofc everyone is going to have different experiences. one big one, i think esp when ND folks are trying to talk about these things with NT folks: i don't think the average NT person is not going to be calling or thinking about it in those terms ('scripts' etc). i think a lot of this is a "language" barrier in a way, or rather lack of vocabulary... but also, a misunderstanding because these are skills...

i think ND folks also are under the impression that these are things that come naturally to those who are NT... but its a skill just like anything else. NT folks don't come out of the womb and matrix-style just have every social skill hard-booted into their head... it's learned skills. often, save for like when you're a smaller child, it's just more subtle lessons in it -- which is probably where a lot of folks falter in learning these skills? we're told to do the same things, but not always told why besides vague lines like 'well, it's just polite' but we're not well taught on why politeness and manners matter besides 'they just do'.

which, for a lot of ND folks, is very frustrating because we often just don't want to participate in stuff we might see as frivolous. but thats the thing: it's not frivolous. it's just that no one has been able to explain why it's not in a way that a lot of ND folks understand. its a lack of vocabulary and like teaching methods to explain these like big society-spanning concepts.

it's also, as this post points out, largely a social construct and etiquette thing. which also means that whats acceptable is going to change from situation to situation (ex: casual get together vs formal work event), group to group (ex: family vs friends), community to community (ex: different cities, different religious groups), and so on just moving bigger and bigger, mix and match. these rituals of social scripting, etiquette, and so on are things that are in each group no matter the scale are carefully crafted over time to find what works and everyone can agree on. are they always fun and enjoyable? i mean not necessarily, but they're made to avoid worse feelings than just being bored.

but at the end of the day, a ND person's social script is just going the same thing for the same purposes as these "old school" social skills and rituals: it's a way to navigate different social situations.

I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.

[wackywatchdotcom]

What do you think Queenie was like when she was around? What do you think about the HC of her potentially being on the spectrum?

i dont have a super concrete idea, but i do imagine, true to kingers word, that she was very funny and creative!!!

ive mentioned it before but i dont think she was actually an entomologist- just someone invested in it! (the only way i could see her being an entomologist is if, for some reason, c&a wanted an entomologist on board for... something? but thats a very biological field so i dont think this is the case). at most i think shed worked related jobs in the distant past, but nothing recquiring a degree in the field

despite this i do think she was just as weird as entomologists are. because theyre all weird and its great. every entomologist or person DEEPLY dedicated to entomology ive ever met has been eccentric in some way. i think she was like this. what this entails is ambiguous

(id use myself as a source but i think im closer to kinger in terms of knowledge on entomology, in that its above standard knowledge of insects but still not nearly as much as an actual entomologist has)

also i think she was bad at completely dialing down talk about insects. i think shed try but as she talks itd gradually veer right back into just her saying her own thoughts, complete with abbreviations and ento terms that no one else but her knows

she was definitely very funny and probably in like. a very goofy way. i think she was generally pretty composed but had a very lighthearted sense of humor. i think with her general like... demeanor of Knowing What Shes Doing that shed just Say Things that would catch people off guard in a very silly way

in terms of creativity, i dont imagine she was an artist (or if she was i think it was a recent skill she was learning- maybe gangle was teaching her...) but i do imagine she had a very good ability to problem-solve and generally had a really good grasp on methods of doing things. creative is the best way to put it again. she was clever!!

i do think she was probably the more grounded of the two, less jumpy and more prone to thinking about the situation the two were in (what with how kingers personality ties into his chess piece being a king, i like the idea that hers ties in too). it gave her more of a tendency to really think about it all which contributed to her abstraction :(

i dont think she waas TOOOO much more serious than kinger though... i think they were both huge goofballs and it was sweet

tbqh my idea of her is ALSO influenced by my favorite tadc fic that i read a few weeks back and am still obsessed with (metamorphosis by beepborpdoodledorp!! its REALY good). i like to imagine she was like how she is in this!!!!

in terms of her being autistic i am ALWAYS a fan of interpretting characters as autistic. i looove the idea of entomology being a special interest of hers (especially bc i can certainly relate), and even w the minimal knowledge we have of her i think it works really well. i think i could come up with more elaborate details abt this other than the surface level stuff but id need to think on it more...

(i myself try to avoid hcing a character as autistic and then just making it about having special interests since thats only one facet ofc, though w the little info we have on her its one of the easiest things to point to... i would love to have more ideas for it)

though, i know its implied to be an abstraction thing but i DO like the idea that she found bright lights overstimulating. i could see her finding MOST things in the circus overstimulating. if she were around to meet pomni i think theyd be able to connect over that (considering i hc pomni as autistic too but i dont wanna derail this w rambling abt that HAHA). the humor thing may have created strange moments though since i think pomni has very little sense of humor- or at the very least, a highly specific one that is hard to hit. maybe queenie could have managed to make her laugh...

either way i REALLY like the idea. autism entomology combo WIN!!!!!

[wyverningx]

people on The Internet Dot Com keep being absolute idiots about thea muldani so here is your reminder that she's a ravens success story — she grew up in an environment where she was asked to give her all and engage in incredibly unhealthy practices, but the result of such sacrifice was that she was rewarded for it with US court and a pro team. she was part of a cult and "left" in the sense of gaining physical distance, but all of her experiences reaffirmed that the toxic ravens environment was the most effective way to a successful exy career. it is fucked up that she believes others should go through the same thing in order to be "worthy" or "good enough," but i simply do not understand why so many people look at her and think that she should be crucified for being a representation of a finished, successful raven. especially not if she's unable to recognize abuse in others, which tbqh is something that is very common in cult-like settings. you don't want to look something-that-could-very-well-be-abuse-happening-to-others in the eye, because if they're being abused, then you could potentially be being abused, too, and what do you do with that? do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with that reality, especially when you are told day in and day out that this is the only way to get to the top? that this is how you make it in the sport? that someone who is being harmed by the coach or the team captain absolutely deserved it? that people who can't hack it are weak, but you're not weak, you're one of the best, you'll do whatever it takes?

is it extremely shitty that she blames jean for his own sexual assault? absolutely, yes. but she doesn't have the whole picture, and it's clear that jean intentionally deceives her (with the comment about him being fragile/clumsy, etc.) and lets her believe he had more agency in his sexual experiences than he truly did because it's a coping mechanism that also serves the purpose of letting her fill in blanks so he does not have to explicitly tell a lie. besides, if there is any singular raven that both kevin and jean view fondly, wouldn't they want her to believe whatever it took so that she didn't ask too many questions? wouldn't they both want her far removed from the reality of the moriyamas and human trafficking, because her uncovering the truth would put her entire life at risk?

people can have friends that are imperfect or do not understand them completely or that fuck things up sometimes. i get that jean's experiences put people on-guard when it comes to how he interacts with other characters, but god damn. she was his mentor. she taught him everything he knows about being a backliner. she made horrible and judgmental assumptions about his experiences. all of those things can be true at the same time. does she not deserve the opportunity to change upon receiving new information? does she not deserve the ability to take a step back, as ravens are dropping like flies and all eyes are on evermore and the perfect court, to consider that maybe she was a victim in all of this, too? that plenty of people are capable of making it to the top without calling another human being the master and turning a blind eye to the king beating his own men? that maybe kevin and jean and all of them were terribly wronged? why is she the only person in this series who's not allowed to grow as a person by developing a more nuanced understanding of rape and sexual assault and learning how to be a better friend to someone who had no choice?

also someone tried to "gotcha" me by saying thea and jean aren't friends because she uhhhh (checks notes) calls him a teasing nickname and says "i'm going to break your ribs" as though threatening your friends (especially ones you play a contact, violent sport with) is the worst possible offense ever in the same book series that people regularly ACTUALLY fistfight each other and pull knives on one another. i'd argue that these are actually huge indicators that they do like each other, because she's probably one of the only people in the world who he can express himself around and even say things like "i'm not from paris" exasperatedly. you know, like you do when people you care about tease or poke fun at you. those are actually probably some of the most normal interactions jean has pre-TSC, especially as she is not needlessly cruel to him like literally everyone else in the nest is. and not only is thea one of the only people who has any sort of comraderie with him and who makes the effort to see him after his injuries because she cares, but she also makes it past wymack and kevin and renee and neil guard-dogging him. does that seriously mean nothing? do you think renee fucking walker (who was ready to brawl on-sight at evermore) would have let someone like zane waltz into abby's house if kevin said a single negative word about him?

i have seen some incredibly wonderful and nuanced takes about most characters in AFTG, but at the same time, the way thea is treated and criticized in a more severe way than literal murderers in the series for her possibly-willful ignorance is utterly crazy to me.

idk. just some food for thought

[marquisegallery]

So, according to something found during the recent Teraleak, there was apparently going to be a Flying type evolution for Eevee. But then they scrapped it because they thought it would be too similar to a fan design for the same idea. That got me thinking about what a potential Flying Eeveelution would look like.

Of course, plenty of other people have made their own designs for the same idea. A couple of people actually make its ears into wings (such as this neat design by @elbdot !!).

I don't think I've seen anyone make its wings actually fold so that it can look like regular ears too. So that's what I'm going for with this design I drew!

I can't really think of good names for it right now, so for the time being I'm gonna called this Eeveon. Which is the name most people go with for a potential Normal evolution for Eevee too. In this case I'm intending this Eeveon to be a dual Normal/Flying type! Especially since I think at this point there's probably a better chance of us getting more Eeveelutions of the other types besides just Normal and just Flying.

Also since pure Flying types seem like they're meant to be very sparingly used for Pokemon, with the only one for the longest time being the legendary Tornadus. And before that, Flying was always at least paired with Normal for a lot of Pokemon.

(tbqh the fact that the non-legendary/non-mythical/etc. Rookidee and Corvisquire are also pure Flying annoys me way more than it probably should, but I digress, lmao...)

Anyways, let me know what you think of this! :>

[literaticat]

Have the rampant book bans affected what sort of books publishers will buy or invest a lot of money in?

Probably? But maybe not quite in the way you might be thinking?

For example, I don't think many editors are thinking "whoa, we better not publish any [queer/diverse/whatever] stuff, because book bans!" -- perhaps the opposite is true. As in, I think most editors are quite liberal, and the ones who publish [queer/diverse/whatever] stuff would think in fact "I want to DOUBLE DOWN on [queer/diverse/whatever] stuff because EFF the book banners!"

That being said -- it's a very challenging environment, to say the least. If schools and libraries are having their budgets slashed, or if they are aren't allowed to buy books on certain topics or fear potentially terrible backlash if they do. . . well, the publishers lose those sales, which of course affects them. A HUGE amount of a children's publisher's bottom line is down to schools and libraries. If a publisher makes less money, they have less money to spend, so that's not great.

They aren't going to stop buying great books on a wide variety of topics and themes -- but I can definitely see where they might go "OK, this particular book is obviously important and we want to publish it, BUT, due to whatever draconian law that is being implemented, it simply will not sell to schools in Texas, Florida, or anywhere in the south -- so our projected income for the book is x-amount less than it might have been in previous times -- so we have to take that into account when we are thinking about how much to spend on it."

Mind you -- I haven't been privy to these conversations. Nobody has ever used that as an "excuse" when declining a book or offering a more modest advance or anything like that. But I can certainly IMAGINE that some kind of conversations like that must be happening, because like... hello, of course it must be. They can't act like everything is totally normal in children's publishing, because it ISN'T.

(BTW, in case people are thinking, oh, it's mostly like, SEXY books that are the "problem" -- au contraire! Books on every topic under the sun are being removed/challenged for the wildest reasons. Books on history -- like the Tuskeegee Airmen or Rosa Parks -- removed from curriculums, because apparently learning about ACTUAL FACTS OF HISTORY is "woke". OK. Fucking worst timeline, tbqh.)

[mulderscully]

so weird how everytime nick starts trending i see posts about how he's a bad friend to taylor, him and taylor had a falling out, he doesn't care abt rwrb anymore. whatever.

you don't know these men! you know nothing about their lives, their friendship, or their feelings. you don't know if nick is ignoring taylor bc you don't know if they text or talk or call. you don't know. and tbqh why does it even matter? say they aren't friends anymore, which would be weird for tpz to still be liking nick's posts if it were true, pray tell; how would that affect you? it shouldn't. the only thing that could POSSIBLY affect is a sequel, and let me remind you— they are actors. if they wanna make a sequel they will, if they don't we don't get one. that's it.

but what perplexes me the most about this is how the rwrb fandom in part seems to somehow not grasped the message of the book/movie at all. immediately after the movie was released people we're intensely invasive to nick and taylor, so does it really suprise you that they drew back on their social media interaction? is it not pretty obvious to you that nick probably has a social media manager running his instagram now?

do you not see that the reason nick has "moved on." from rwrb is because he has other projects to promote while taylor, for what should be clear reasons, does not yet?

i don't understand the parasocial relationship y'all have with them when the entire foundation of rwrb is that the general public do not have the right to know anything that people in the public eye don't share and no one owes the fandom friendship or attention or anything at all other than a job well done, which we got and if we get more of it then hell yeah and if not we keep posting abt firstprince anyway. it's not that deep 😭

[eleanoroliphant]

laura,,,, what’s your take on season 5? what were your ups and downs and what is your overall opinion?

i'm aware and so sorry i'm horribly late with this, i didn't realise i forgot about this ask until i did my season 5 rewatch. sorry again!

in case you're still interested (which you probably aren't!)

i comparatively liked season 5 because fred wasn't in it. i always thought serena was the better character (character doesn't equal person, although she's probably also a better person), and strahovski the better actor, between the waterfords, and i couldn't stand watching fiennes anymore. the fact that he wasn't around allowed me to enjoy season 5 more than i did 3 and 4.

unfortunately, just because i found the show was better it doesn't mean it's good anymore. it's desperately trying to be game of thrones and it's not. at this point, i see it as a soap with some dystopia used as background. the world building has gone down the toilet (what do you MEAN no one's ever seen the girls in purple? did gilead just invent this new color code or were they blind?), no one's believable anymore, laws are simply made up as we go.

i don't buy nick as ambiguous any more than i did in earlier seasons, which was little anyway. no one seems to notice he has nothing of the bigot or religious extremist he should be and he's just a thoroughly good person who doesn't belong in there. and characters who are supposed to have more urgent matters to deal with will just randomly have conversations on how much he and june love each other like it's a bridgerton novel.

lawrence is one of the biggest disappointments. not that i hate him, but he's become just a completely good man now, you can tell the writers love his one liners so much that they've resorted to completely erase his complexity and forget the fact that he came up with some of the most horrible stuff in the state. the audience already love to blame it all on serena anyway, and there's nothing bruce miller likes more than villainising her while absolving every single man around her from his crimes.

lydia should be much more fascinating but just like the flashback episode about her did nothing to explain her conversion i don't see why the new events would believably bring her to reason now rather than earlier. the girls were already in terrible pain before. what's changed?

and then there are june's plot armour and closeups, both a joke at this point. moss is very good and her struggle between being an inherently good person but also a traumatized survivor is great television, but the show suffers from spending all that time with her. the commanders can't seem to have any other topics to discuss. she can't possibly be the only handmaid who's smart, mad and resourceful enough to be a danger.

and when was the last time moira was allowed to do something relevant? it's bad enough that black people tend to die on this show, the ones that are still alive have little to do apart from supporting june and probably eventually dying so she can have the romantic endgame the fans want.

overall i'm stuck with this show, especially serena and lawrence (well, and mark) tbqh with you, i will definitely be watching the final season, but i found the testaments to be terrible so i also kind of can't wait to be done with it.

i am terribly sorry again and i hope you're doing well! xx

[neptune-knows]

school LI yan headcanons <3

focusing on m! whitney, sydney, and robin specifically -- also by no means exhaustive just some stuff off the top of my head feel free to share yours as well id love to hear them!!!

WHITNEY

#1 most likely to straight up kill someone for looking at you funny (or at all tbqh)

always marking you in one way or another, whether biting you or leaving hickeys or cumming inside you whenever you do it

not much changes from how he is in game to be honest, still wanting to tattoo you to show his property, or making you wear a collar with his name on it

when its just the two of you, he shows his soft side a lot more frequently

his hands pretty much never leave your person. hes always playing with your hair, holding your hand, groping your chest, playing with your genitals

his cute little stress ball <3

really really likes seeing you wear his clothes because its another way to show that your his

also loves seeing you in his bed, even non sexually (shocking, i know) because you are surrounded by his scent

i saw someone say it before and they were 100% right he has a scent kink and he will mark you with his scent if its the last thing he does

you get messed with a LOT less because word travels fast about the rabid dog that attacks anyone who looks at you funny

scary boyfriend privileges? scary boyfriend privileges.

gets conflicted because he loves fucking you in public and showing everyone that your his slut, he also wants to gauge the eyes out of anyone who sees you naked

SYDNEY

you are his everything, his love, his angel

devotion levels that border on worship

sydney will do whatever he can to prevent you from being tainted by the sinners of this town

i think he'd spread rumors about people who get to close to you, and do everything he could to ruin their reputations by abusing his positions at the school and temple

someone bullying you in the halls? it would be a shame if the teachers heard about their delinquency (which may or may not be exaggerated)

he overhears a classmate talk about a crush they have on you? sydney "accidently" mentions all the nasty things he overheard that person say while renewing their friend's books at the library

sydney sees an initiate getting a little too close to you at the temple? he might bring up his concerns about their purity and dedication to the faith to jordan the next time he sees them

only god can save anyone that messes with you at the temple when he's also there

"Belief won't matter, because I'll attack you for real."

he's also very aware of how kylar feels about you, even if he doesn't tell you he does

loves to rub it in and kiss you in front of him

showing kylar who you actually belong to

this is probably an unpopular opinion, but i think hes also not above resorting to violence when it comes to the people around you

definitely not on the level that whitney is willing to go to, and also not as obvious about it, but is more than willing to hurt anyone that touches you

seriously, the library rescue scene? when someone tries to harass you at the church? sydney is by no means passive about his devotion to protecting you

ROBIN

probably the most covert his yandere tendencies

your cute childhood friend who wants nothing but the best for you

he's so so sweet about it, he's just looking out for you, after all!!!

robin is very patient and willing to play the long game because he knows that you will always come back to him at the end of things

to him, its the two of you against the entire world

also sabotaging your relationships and happiness outside of him behind the scenes

always offering a shoulder to cry on when you get ghosted "out of nowhere" or when your school project vanishes mysteriously and you fail because of it

robin hates seeing you upset, but you shouldnt be getting joy from anything but him

he is also not above hurting himself so that you will take care of him and thus stay with him

on cloud nine when you dote on him and take care of his wounds

adding on to that, wants to take care of you more than anything else

his dream is one day being able to make enough to support the both of you so you can stay inside all day and be safe from the outside world <3

robin loves to do stuff for you, loves cooking and making you treats

he definitely isn't putting his bodily fluids into any of it!!!

... okay, maybe in some of it...

most of it

also steals your (dirty and clean) laundry like kylar

whoops!! he mustve gotten your laundry messed up!! sorry!! it will happen again

i might make a part 2 with either more hcs of these guys or of the other love interests if you guys liked this one <3

[lemonhemlock]

I don’t have a problem with sex or nudity in media, and tbqh I think HOTD could benefit from some more of at least the first one 😭 But I keep coming back to the Aemond brothel scenes and I’m just confused. What do these achieve? Not that every scene needs to further the plot, I think it is fine to show dick if you want to show your dick! But both of these scenes do nothing for a character who already gets little time this season. Is it just to get him out of the way for B&C? He could have been literally anywhere, it’s not his job to hang in his room or with Helaena and her kids. Just for Aegon to make fun of him? There’s already a stronger setup there in him being blamed for Jaehaerys’s death in the first place, which somehow never happens and no one thinks to question where he was when the heir to the throne was killed in his place. It doesn’t even seem to be that we need to see Aemond particularly vulnerable, because the closest we get is his final scene with Helaena. So ? 🤷‍♀️

i think they're meant to very heavy-handedly imply that aemond is 1. a hypocrite (bc he also visits whores hahahahaha), 2. isolated from his family (bc he confesses some things to madam sylvi that he is not shown to talk about with his family) and 3. yes, provide a set-up so that aegon can make him of his choice of partner and, consequently, sexually humiliates him in the process.

i don't agree with this and found the scene very milquetoast. also no one made aemond storm out of there dick-out. it seems to me that, as far as social awkwardness goes, fully exposing yourself to many people would be worse than being discovered by a handful in a compromising situation. and where are his clothes? did he not undress in the same room with the madam? where is he going to get new clothes? is he just walking out the streets of king's landing butt naked? it's just dumb. logistically. who wrote this? david hancock, i am in ur walls.

the bare bones ideas are there, they're just executed in the most basic and boring way possible, simultaneously completely ignoring the main source of strife in the family: jaehaerys. why? because focusing too much attention on jaehaerys would make rhaenyra look bad. since it was an act done in her name and she refuses to punish the perpetrator (daemon). otherwise they can't have rhaenyra shamelessly berate alicent in the finale that she has to allow her to execute aegon because "a son for a son". if b&c isn't such a huge deal, then it doesn't count.

[familyabolisher]

Apologies for bringing up a topic you've already discussed at length, but I've read through your posts on "anti-intellectualism" and completely agree with you on all counts. But I'm just now curious about how you'd define the increased culture of outright rejection of critical analysis (vague though the term is) as opposed to simple disinterest. Situations like people dismissing any deep analysis of systems, media, texts etc with "It's not that deep", or hostility towards fuller and in depth responses to statements (especially on social media with the ever prevalent "not reading that"), with the result often times being that anything requiring slight effort to engage with, or that isn't entertaining is dismissed completely.

Although I understand that these are just peoples reactions on the internet, and not systemic or material issues, I'd love to know your thoughts on how that cultural behaviour and trend could be classed, if not as anti-intellectualism.

(there are obviously a huge amount of external reasons (the attention economy, media, education etc) for people to react in that way, so I'm not blaming people personally, nor do I think everyone needs to go read Hegel and become a master critical thinker, but I do think it is a trend that has some damaging effects, especially as a response to any criticism of capitalism)

talked a little about it here—i guess i would ask what you're actually seeking to accomplish with the word "define," because there's no one explanation that can neatly account for every individual rejection of the practice of critical reading, and nor should we be seeking to find one. certainly 'anti-intellectualism' doesn't cut it, so i would just reiterate the point i made in the initial piece—how people feel about critical analysis, what their base skill level in critical analysis actually is, how that skill level is articulated, what their relationship is to the work or works in question & the respect with which they are willing to treat it are all highly contingent questions which cannot be easily explained away but instead merit thorough materialist investigation. ultimately as marxists we have to be materialists; our investigations should seek these material explanations, which means interrogating normative epistemes, education & academia, how we define "literacy" & its social use + social distribution, who benefits and who winds up disadvantaged. the "anti-intellectualism" position is broad enough to be near enough useless when it comes to articulating actionable responses; i also find it cruel.

also tbqh whilst i do get impatient when people don't "want" to engage with challenging narratives in ways that i find intellectually stimulating and would rather watch marvel film #47384 or whatever, i think it's good to take a policy of, like, blocking and moving on, curating your feed, and remembering that you don't + shouldn't have access to that person's relationship to the media landscape and the sorts of analytical tools that they may well only ever have encountered in a hostile educational setting, as well as working towards showing that engagement with "difficult" works is a) possible and b) fun and worthwhile. often people's reluctance to engage with works that have a (perceived) higher entry barrier (however ethically questionable that perception might be) simply comes from the fact that they lack/believe themselves to lack the right tools for engagement, and don't want to be made to feel "stupid" by not "getting" it—they preemptively go on the 'let people enjoy things'-esque defensive to counter this. the more candidly we talk about critical practices & the more digital airtime we give to less "mainstream" work, and the more space we give people to not understand things/to ask questions/to communicate and share ideas rather than participating in the big pissing contest of who can be the most Media Literate, the closer we get to resolving these sorts of tensions, imo.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

I have mostly only seen Baghra hate in Darkling apologia circles so this makes me curious. What is your overall opinion of Baghra? Especially her morality.

I like Baghra! I think she’s a really interesting character that just isn’t fleshed out very much and suffers for it. I think book one specifically just feels like LB wasn’t really thinking about her as a character as opposed to a plot device.

My general interpretation of her is that she’s probably supremely depressed by TGT era, given how inactive she is. And I mean she literally kills herself in R&R. There seems to be a huge discrepancy between the values she raised Aleksander with and what she believes in the present. I suspect the shadow fold may have something to do with that? Or again just depression. We don’t know why she stopped using her own power aside from the vague implication that it’s to protect her son’s identity, but I think it ends up painting a larger picture of someone who’s just lost interest in everything. And we do see a hint of what an entirely different person she was in the Demon in the Wood era.

I don’t have particular opinions on her morality tbqh. She seems like she never really got past the formative experience of being neglected by her father and hated by her mother and then everything that happened with her sister. Like no shit she’s not particularly emotionally well adjusted.

She seems to have had a child more out of a desire for companionship than like any particular maternal instinct. There’s mention of her trying to have thee most powerful kid ever but I suspect it’s more because she wanted to ensure immortality again more for companion ship rather than actually caring about the power itself. And with their isolated fear filled lifestyle early on, like even if she *was* the most competent parent ever (which. we have established that she was not) you wouldn’t have gotten the best results.

I feel like Darkling stans do act insane about her. Like I remember seeing conversations about aww poor Aleksander he must have felt so betrayed when Alina sided with his *abuser.* Like fuck off sjfhf it’s obviously a way more complicated dynamic than that. And I’d argue that multiple centuries in, there actually isn’t a power differential between them anymore.

But it seems like the boundaries were bad! That she almost definitely set him up for his megalomaniacal tendencies! And also that she imparted her own fears of vulnerability to him. Like I do think that with her own history of being so neglected she overcompensated by raising her son to the idea that he’s above all reproach (but her own lol) and that other people’s lives simply do not have as much worth. (The same kind of elevation and isolation that he tries to pull with Alina)

So yeah idk I think the fact that Aleksander is such a piece of work falls directly at her feet but also like. it’s understandable?

[gaypolls]

Submission Guidelines/Disclaimers

First, things to keep in mind when you submit:

there is a limit of 12 answers for polls, and on this blog one of those answers will always be 'show results,' to allow for people that the poll doesn't apply to to see without skewing data. so in reality you have a maximum of 11.

there's also an 80-character limit on the options

SO, if you go over those limits, know that I will take it into my own hands to decide which answers to omit and/or how to re-word it to fit the limit.

even otherwise, expect that the wording of your submission may be slightly altered in order to be more inclusive (when it doesn't affect the data), or because i think you missed an option that you probably meant to include, or just to make it sound less clunky. if you have an issue with any changes upon posting, i'm happy to hear you out.

currently there is no wait time, but if things go as expected, soon enough it'll likely be about a 4-5 day wait between the time you submit and the time it gets posted

if your poll is addressing a very small group, don't be surprised or angry when the 'see results' poll is the biggest. that needs to be there to keep data from being skewed by anyone's curiosity.

Base Guidelines For Submitting:

poll must be related to gayness in some way. it doesn't have to be directed exclusively at gay people, but it should center same-gender attraction. if you have a poll in mind to direct specifically at bisexuals, there's @mspecpolls

it CAN be a general LGBT poll, but if it's specific to something that has nothing to do with gay attraction, you're better off submitting to another blog. there's @transgenderpolls for trans stuff and @aspecpolls for ace/aro stuff.

it CAN be directed at a specific type of gay person, such as gay men, lesbians, specifically trans lesbians, nonbinary mlm, gay poc, disabled wlw, etc - literally you can address any specific gay group you want, just make sure to say so.

...this DOES include 'cis gay men/women/people' but tbqh you're gonna have to provide a good reason to be excluding trans people from the poll

in general if you want to explicitly exclude people who have a nonconforming relationship with gender, you better explicitly say so AND have a good reason. otherwise it'll be assumed that all sorts are included and if your options don't reflect that, i will change them or reject the poll.

it CAN relate to sex (i expect many polls here will be), just try to be tasteful about it. like, as long as it sounds like you're trying to collect data rather than arouse people lol

What would make me NOT post a submission:

as mentioned previously, if it's excluding subgroups without a good reason

if it's an opinion poll about the validity of any particular type of gay person. "validity" is a moot topic and i'm not going to encourage it, and in any case i'd like the focus of this blog to be about recording experiences (real, undeniable, forever in stone) rather than opinions (always changing, meaningless)

pride discourse polls, lol

anything that tries to pit issues against each other. no "which intercommunity issue is more important to you? ableism? racism?" like cmon

if it's just way too niche and would make a pointless poll. if a poll is "who's your favorite lgbt character" and then you've got 11 options from different TV shows, you gotta know that most of the ppl who see that poll will NOT have seen ALL those shows, so they'll really just be voting for the show that they know. it's just dumb.

if it's something like "gay people: do you like pineapple on pizza?" or some other question that doesn't actually have anything to do with being gay. if you wanna send something like this, make your case for why it's relevant that the poll is directed at gay people.

if it's some other obviously offensive shit, obviously. no racism or whatnot here.

FAQ:

Who counts as gay?

Like most of these guidelines I'll continue the same sentiment from the trans polls blog: We self-define here. But I will stress answering in good faith and understanding what any given poll is asking and what definitions they're using. If you're, say, nonbinary and bisexual in a way that makes all your attraction gay, or you're gay in a very specific way (like nb4nb), or you call yourself gay bc you're mostly gay but you're technically bisexual, or you're definitely homosexual but don't actually like to call yourself gay, etc, it'll likely just depend on the poll. It's totally up to you to decide if it includes you or not, or you can always ask if you want to be sure.

Though if it's not explicitly stated that the poll excludes transmasc lesbians or transfem gays, or other trans/nonbinary gay people, you should still for sure assume it includes you.

Why isn't there an option for X?/You missed an option.

Sometimes I may genuinely miss an option, but 9 times out of 10 the lack of the option is either due to the poll limits on tumblr, or because it goes against the point of the poll. For example, if the question begins with "If you're in a relationship," then "i'm not in a relationship" isn't going to be an option. If the prerequisite of the poll doesn't apply to you, then what you click is "see results." If it's something a little less concrete, polls will usually include some kind of "other" option anyway.

Can you make more polls for X type of gay person?

*I* make polls based off what I'm personally curious about. If you're curious about something, submit it!

Do you know that some people are gay in very unconventional ways that your polls aren't accounting for?

Yes, I know. When there's room on the poll, I try to be inclusive, but often there's not, and that's really the main thing there. However, I will admit that a secondary reason is that when a poll is addressing exclusively gay people, the fact that they're only attracted to one gender is relevant, regardless of whether or not it would still be gay of them to be attracted to more.

Can you get rid of the 'see results' button? Or can you not include it on this particular poll? I only want X people to respond. This poll is ONLY for X people.

If a poll is on this blog, it's for everyone, questioning and simply curious people included. It's also not going to stop curious people from clicking if there's no 'see results' button. It ensures that the data doesn't get skewed, and gathering data is what polls are for. It doesn't hurt you to see a big see results bar. The data is still there. If the bar does wind up obscuring more significant data, that means the poll was addressing too small of a group to begin with. And that's NOT the end of the world. This blog is far from the only place where you can get information about other gay people's experiences.