#which is meant to contrast but also parallel that original scene where he shows a part of his heart

[lady-tortilla-chip]

So many of y’all don’t realize that Zuko making a direct sacrifice for Katara in parallel to speaking out for soldiers he didn’t know and was ultimately punished for defending, is what seals his redemption, arc, and it shows.

[nine-of-diamonds]

A List of References in Keep Your Enemies Close (Wait, Not That Close)

Since it’s somehow been a year since I posted KYEC (to the warmest reception I’ve ever gotten from a fic!! Seriously y’all are the best—I can’t believe I’m still getting comments a year after publication), I compiled a complete (as far as I can remember, at least) list of all of the references (with a few explanations about my writing choices) within the fic for funsies (and also bc I put Way Too Much effort into melding all of these elements together and wanted a full list of all the things I put together that were not intended to be put together lmao)

Oh, and if it wasn’t obvious… spoilers for the fic lol — if you haven't read it but are interested in what the heck I'm talking about, it's here on ao3!

(I’m just calling every segment separated by a line break a scene even though some of them aren’t reallyyy an actual scene for the sake of clarity)

Scene 1:

One line in and I’ve already name-dropped the Watchers: not much to say about them at this point since it’s pretty much the usual “godly beings that resemble indigo biblically-accurate angels that watch people.” All I really added here was the threads of Fate mention that’ll become relevant later

Scene 3:

Grian-proof vault: this one’s a double reference! The obvious one is from Season 9 (Grian’s ep 10) where Mumbo challenges Grian to get into his vault without breaking blocks and it turns out to be a decoy vault, but the second one is from Season 6 (Grian ep 100), where Grian, Bdubs, and Iskall (as the Dragon Bros) break into Mumbo’s vault to induct him into the cult club by guessing the code to be 1-2-3-4 (the “I didn’t plan for someone to come in and start jamming codes in” and KYEC!Grian’s response, “It was the second thing I tried” are reworded from their follow-up convo about it in the next episode)

KYEC!Grian’s stolen diamonds: okay I’m pretty sure this Season 6 arc started in Grian’s ep 73, where he mentions for the first time that his diamonds have “mysteriously gone missing” — KYEC!Grian’s got the same problem, only most of his diamonds are accidentally stolen and are causing more problems than economic deficits lol → we’ll get to the completion of this arc wayyy later, but this was the very first plot point to fall into place for this fic

Detective Grian: going even farther back into Season 6, we have the Sherlock Grian arc (begins in Grian’s ep 56) — once again, we’ll get back to this one

Fun fact: the moment where KYEC!Grian’s “skin prickled with the distinct sensation that someone was watching, waiting for him to do something” was meant to be foreshadowing that would become obvious at the end bc I originally planned to have KYEC!Grian’s time traveling be onscreen — that scene was meant to show Future Grian traveling to the past to steal his diamonds, but getting the timing slightly off so he was still in the apartment when this convo takes place, and is therefore the mysterious watcher mentioned here; I didn’t end up writing out that scene, though so now it just looks like another surface level Watcher reference

Scene 4:

KYEC!Grian’s powers: the wings don’t require explanation but here’s my rationale for the “perspective-shifting” (which, lemme tell you was cool in theory but SO annoying to figure out what to call/describe) → it’s basically just being able to go into F5 mode (the range limit for him is basically that he can move what I’ll call his mental camera to any point provided that at all times, his body is visible to the mental camera from some angle, i.e. he can’t see into the next room if there are no doors/windows but he can see around corners and objects); this power’s another Watcher parallel but also a contrast to Scar’s in that it’s good for revealing “the truth” while Scar’s power is deceptive in nature

Scene 5:

Hotguy!: fun fact, I actually started writing this fic before I knew about Scar’s Hotguy persona (I was grievously behind on Season 9 when I started this fic in mid 2022) so KYEC!Scar’s original hero name was Goodfellow and he used a staff, not a bow — but obviously, I swapped it to fit the Hotguy we all know and love (and for the sake of keeping track of episode references, I’m naming Scar’s Season 9 ep 5 as the first Hotguy mention in canon, don’t @ me if I’m wrong lol)

KYEC!Scar’s powers: alright, here’s a lil secret, there’s actually smth going on with his bow that never gets brought up in this fic and that I will be keeping secret bc I may or may have smth in the works. I can, however, talk about his illusions! While KYEC!Grian’s power lets him change how he sees things, KYEC!Scar’s lets him change what other people see. The illusions are also a nod at Scar’s terraforming + building skills since he can create intricate landscapes 

Xelqua (as KYEC!Grian’s villain name): other ideas for KYEC!Grian’s villain name included Poultry Man + Watcher but I settled on Xelqua since it’s commonly associated with Watcher!Grian but feels more like a name than just plain Watcher, and then afterwards, I developed the actual Xelqua lore

Xelqua (the lore one): obviously we have the nod at our tried and tested fanon “he was only meant to watch” but the mention of him “engineer[ing] countless games… with gods and men alike” is a blink and you’ll miss it Life series reference (I suppose it could also be a reference any of Grian’s other minigames but the Life series was what I had in mind lol) → also, the whole “Ultimately, the Watchers located Xelqua after he succumbed to his nature and began stirring up trouble again” bit of lore was just me riffing off that fable about the frog and the scorpion, which traumatized me as a kid and therefore lives in my brain rent-free

Scene 6: 

Harmless pranks: rapidfire references, let’s go! “a bit of ‘misplaced copper’” = Mumbo’s copper “lagging” into Grian’s inventory (Grian Season 8 ep 13), “a few disappearing doors” = Grian being a chronic door thief (...pretty much all of Season 7), “a few chests filled with eggs” = Grian + his quest to clog up his messaging system with Mumbo (Grian Season 6 ep 22 + many, many more instances)

Scene 7:

Roofed forest: very, very random but I did write this scene with Scar’s first Third Life episode in the background and was imagining the roofed forest he and Grian decimated as the scene he projects here

Also, I need you to know this fight scene was fully rewritten at least four times ;-;

Scene 9:

Mumbo unlocking Grian’s handcuffs: this wasn’t a reference when I wrote the fic but now it’s a reference to the Mumbo side fic I wrote for this au that writes out this scene

Scene 11:

KYEC!Grian’s comment: “I was broke and in need of a flatmate so he could’ve been an arsonist for all I cared, as long as he didn’t touch my stuff” → can I just cite all of the Life series here

Okay, I SWEAR the line, “You watch, Mumbo, I’ll be so subtle that you’ll forget I���m a supervillain” was based on an actual Grian line (or several) that start the same way but I can’t remember where it’s from

Scene 13:

More stolen diamonds: here’s the unofficial start of the Jangler plot lol — the moment this fic’s foundation really “clicked” for me was when I noticed mysterious diamond thievery appeared in both the time travel arc and the Jangler arc, and I was like “I can work with that”

Jellie: I want you to know the staging of this scene was specifically so I could have a reversal of the “villain stroking a cat while scheming” trope where Scar is a) wanting to do a good deed not a villainous one and b) basically getting a plan fed to him

Scene 14:

Okay pretty much this scene’s basically the transcribed version of a scene from Grian’s Season 6 ep 56 lmao but ig I’ll just talk more about how I thought to include the Jangler plot in the first place; originally, the premise of this fic was adapted from an abandoned non-MCYT fic draft I had floating around in my WIP folder, where the two characters were university dormmates who were unknowingly also vigilante partners + there was a whole Miraculous Ladybug style love square going on (on second thought, I was basically just making MLB with vigilantes lmao). When I got the idea to adapt it to a Desert Duo-centric superhero trying to catch supervillain fic, I wanted to make it platonic since most of the superhero aus I’ve read for the pair are romantic and I wanted to do smth different — the problem was that getting rid of the romance also got rid of a lot of the tension between the characters, so I needed smth to replace it — hence the detective/Jangler dynamic being included to make sure both characters were actively hiding a secret from the other at all times

Scene 16: 

This is probably a little obvious on second read but I did leave a comment to myself on one of my draft docs pointing out that KYEC!Scar decided to continue going out as the Jangler (even though he’d already technically fulfilled the returning diamonds thing he’d invented the persona for) because he overheard Grian talking about how he’d prefer to have more to work on + would get money from it 

Scene 18:

Attempted murder: back on the Season 6 reference train we go! This is from Grian’s ep 12 where he pranks an AFK Jevin by putting him on a flying machine and the game glitches and sends Jevin falling to his death

Scene 20:

The foreshadowing here is very obvious but this scene was a last minute addition I did not plan to include but was compelled to write bc I needed something to lighten the mood a bit since it was getting too serious and also bc I wanted to include the “sweet job” pun. Yes, I know it’s terrible. Yes, I laugh at it every time.

Scene 21 + 22: 

Cookie trail: here’s another “mostly transcribed” scene from Grian’s Season 6 ep 57 — I ran into a little problem logistically since flying isn’t the norm in this world but is in Hermitcraft, so I had to shove in the whole “flying machine to reach the top of the cookie” thing lmao 

KYEC!Stress: she does not make an appearance but I gave her ice powers bc of her ice castle base in Season 6

Scene 24: 

This entire scene is just Desert Duo dancing around each other trying to keep their secret identities secret but KYEC!Scar’s comment, “I always forget what information’s public” is a bit of irony that made me laugh while writing bc it comes straight after he accidentally reveals he knows where the cookie was

Scene 25–28:

Hitman after KYEC!Grian: yep this goes back to Grian’s Season 6 ep 14 where Jevin puts out a hit on Grian after the AFK prank that Iskall tries to carry out 

Grian’s trap: this is obviously just the trap for Iskall that Grian makes to stop him but I would like you to know that I went back to the episode to count the number of pistons used to make sure it lined up lmao

Scene 28 is also basically just a very dramatic version of the chase scene in this episode with some Watcher paranoia for spice

Scene 30–31:

Time machine: time to circle all the way back around to this plot lol — I didn’t think it made sense for KYEC!Grian to build a time machine himself during all of this but he still gets access to one in the end thanks to Mumbo. Grian’s Season 6 ep 79 has him go back in time to stop his diamonds from being stolen, only to realize he’s the one who stole them in the first place, and I thought it was a fitting way to end the fic after all the diamond stealing shenanigans

And hey, that's it! That list totally didn't take me like two hours to write up and find the episodes for! No wonder I had to restructure this fic like seven times when writing it!

Anyway, if you read this far, thanks for indulging my madness :) And to anyone who's engaged with any of my fics, thank you thank you thank you for every hit, kudos, comment, and bookmark!

[extasiswings]

Do you think it is indeed a choice that means something, or do we buddie shippers just need to start thinking that maybe it won't be happening? I really really hope you are right, but if they keep keeping them apart this whole first half of the season, I just wonder if we need to start being realistic? However why would they start the season with that kitchen scene then... I'm sorry this sounds negative and it is def not, I'm still hopeful, I just wonder if other people feel like this :)

Very simply: yes, it’s a deliberate choice, and not only is it not a cause for concern it’s necessary and should be exactly what leads to Buddie canon.

This season kicked off by throwing down a gauntlet that Buck is missing what is right in front of his face (a conversation that took place while he was literally looking at Eddie and Christopher and cooking for them like a whole-ass husband), that he’s searching for happiness in the wrong places because he can’t see what he already has (or thinks he can’t have it). They proceeded to send him off on a journey about fatherhood specifically (but only the illusion of it—donor, not dad) because of the Diaz Boys of it all, because Eddie and Buck still haven’t talked about the shooting, haven’t talked about the will, and are very much not on the same page about Buck’s actual role in Christopher’s life (aka to Eddie, Buck is Christopher’s other dad, to Buck, he’s only a contingency plan if Eddie dies).

Similarly, we also just got a giant flashing neon sign with Tomorrow—Henren’s queer love story (with shooting parallels galore), in which both of them ended up with a life and new dreams that looked nothing like what either of them originally intended or expected for themselves. The trajectory is LOUD.

The separation of arcs is simply because Buck and Eddie are different characters and because their arcs need to be a little bit separate right now while they’re both figuring things out. It’s partly to increase the dramatic tension and draw it out, but also partly for practical reasons. On one hand, there’s the fact that this is an ensemble show and they have other stories they’re telling and other characters—so they laid the groundwork, pivoted over to Hen for a few episodes, and now they’re pivoting back. On the other, there are legitimate plot and character reasons why they haven’t been involved in what we’ve seen so far (which, to be clear, is really just Animal Instincts). Buck is keeping this a secret deliberately. He went to Hen instead of Eddie deliberately—on a character level, because she has some experience with IVF etc and is a good friend, but also because this is not something he can talk to Eddie about. (By contrast, Eddie wanted Buck to be involved in his issue with Chris—Buck’s his co-parent, Buck is always involved, but Buck was the one pulling away and not letting himself get involved).

Eddie’s going to find out about the sperm donor thing. Probably in the very next episode (Cursed). As far as we can tell, he’s going to be the main (perhaps the only) significant person in Buck’s life to be involved in this storyline directly going forward (since Jen said Maddie hasn’t been involved with it at all). Which makes sense, because they’re on a collision course regarding all things shooting/will/Christopher/feelings-related. So they’re not separated entirely.

If I’m right, Eddie’s going to feel some kinda way about it. And Buck will feel some kinda way about Eddie reacting to it. And that’s what will set the stage for where we’re going in “What’s Your Fantasy?” With “Uncle” Buck babysitting (again, explicitly not being a parent) left once again to think about what he really wants in his life, while Eddie is going through a parenting first with Christopher (and Carla) in a scenario that is a perfect opening for them to circle back to what exactly Carla meant when she told him to follow his heart/what (who) Eddie’s heart really wants.

I strongly suspect we will have a canon confirmation of one form or another (because what it means to “go canon” is entirely subjective to everyone but whether that’s a kiss, some sort of confirmation of feelings (to a third party or otherwise), or whatever is all the same to me) by the midseason or very shortly thereafter, but they won’t actually get together officially until late in 6B (or the finale itself because Buck babygirl we have GOT to get you back in therapy)—which would be very S2 Madney of them. Regardless though, it’s happening. Everything they’re doing points to it happening. We are only 1/3 of the way through the season and this is a season-long arc—just be patient and enjoy the ride, because it’s shaping up to be some damn good storytelling.

[matan4il]

Hi, Alice! People mentioned the similarity of Eddie's shirt in the domestic Buddifer scene to the one he had on in the math date with Ana, so I had to go back to rewatch it. And it hit me how forced everything was, and how ill at ease Eddie seemed until he was reassured about Ana being on the same page as to Christopher's best interest. Do you have any thoughts about the parallel between those two scenes, with Ana and Buck both cooking for Eddie and Chris being talked about versus being present?

Hi Nonnie! :D Thank you for this ask!

Yes! I remember how much I screamed when I realized Eddie’s shirt in the famous kitchen scene in 309 appears to be the same one he wears for his date with Shannon. That Eddie does it again with Buck, wearing a date shirt just to hang out with him and Chris in the loft? That’s so telling. Seriously, so many questions to ask Eddie. Why do you keep doing this if you two are just friends?

As for the contrast between Buck and Ana, it’s always been there and highlighted so much! Even within that same ep. It looks like Eddie and Ana were getting it on, then it turns out they’re just... doing math problems together.  They ultimately fail to even kiss in this supposedly romantic scene. That’s contrasted with coming back home to Buck, who was so successful at putting Chris to sleep, Eddie ends up calling him ‘a miracle worker.’ And hey, there’s also a contrast between how INSANELY awkward Eddie is with his supposed love interest compared to how naturally playful and domestic he is with Buck upon his return home. Even the use of light serves to reflect the contrast, as Eddie and Ana were clearly meant to be in a darkened room for the mood (as well as for the visual gag of making us think they’re getting it on when it turns out they’re not) while at home, Buck steps into the light for Eddie, like some sort of an epiphany (which IIRC I mentioned in my original 408 meta). 

Then we had Buck being there for Eddie in 502, helping him realize it’s the right think to break up with Ana, and Eddie preceding to do exactly that in 503. It’s amazing how much progress Eddie is able to make thanks to Buck, both there and in 514, when Buck is able to reflect back to Eddie that what he does matters. And then 601 comes along and basically works to both work as a continuation of the domestic scene with Buddie that we got in 408, where those two men continue to be a family together, cooking for each other, and being the best co-parents ever, but it also sort of completes Eddie’s arc by showing him getting to be there for Buck, to support him. It just makes it clear that there is no level of what it means to be a romantic couple and a family that Buck and Eddie don’t fulfil for each other...

I hope I managed to answer your question! Please don’t hesitate to let me know, and have a great day! xoxox

(and if anyone’s looking for it, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[markets]

ok well c!shittypenis analysis essay under the cut

c!shittypenis is so fucking sad. let me explain.

during season 1, c!shittypenis was inseparable. they had the most beautiful relationship on the whole penissmp imo (you dont have to agree, that opinion does not affect the points made in this essay as i tried to keep it as unbiased as possible). c!penis kept c!shitty grounded when necessary and showed him the importance of sacrificing things for those you care about, while c!shitty helped c!penis be ambitious and stand his ground when necessary, showed him that he didn’t have to settle for anything less than what he deserved. if they hadn’t had each other, they wouldn’t have been able to survive the cockberg war and dethrone c!admiral_anal. and that was what made their love (whether you interpret it as platonic or otherwise) so special. it was about survival and growth, whereas so many others on the smp (eg c!hairballs and c!gargle) were about power, about one of them wanting something from the other. it was refreshing, the only reason cockberg won the war (c!pisskink69′s betrayal would have decimated them otherwise, since they had little to no resources or morale left afterwards), and the driving force between season 1.

but during season 2, we saw c!shitty slowly distance himself from c!penis. props to cc!shitty for this, because it was really fucking subtle. he showed up to the bridge where they would hang out less and less, didn’t help c!penis during the confrontation with c!milfboss that ended up taking one of his canon lives (which directly paralleled the fight with c!pisskink69 at balltown from season 1, but thats for another essay), among other things. 

but it all culminated when he destroyed the bridge. the one they had built together at the start of season 1, the one they started a war for. and it was such a heartbreaking scene. cc!penis’s voice acting really does not get enough recognition. but im getting off topic. the point is, c!shitty did all this for one thing and one thing only: power.

 after freeing cockberg and becoming vice chairman of the cabinet, he was in a vulnerable position: the war, especially c!admiral_anal’s threats towards c!penis, put him in a really bad mental state, one that made him doubt every decision he made and made him desperate for some kind of security. that combined with the amount power that being vice chairman held, just enough for him to see what it was like to have power but also leaving him hungry for more (if you still don’t believe this, rewatch the scene where he imposed taxes on c!glorp’s neighborhood, shitbitch, from the beginning of the season, it foreshadows the conflict super well), made him unable to resist c!bigfuckingboobs’s offer. 

c!bigfuckingboobs is arguably one of the most, if not the most, powerful people on the server: she’s the richest member with the best pvp skills. if they teamed up, there was no amount of power he couldn’t have, no height he couldn’t reach. even if it meant cutting of his friends, it could guarantee them safety in the long run. it could be worth it. it was extremely risky, but then again, c!shitty was never one to shy away from risk. so he took it. c!bigfuckingboobs used this to manipulated him into craving more and more power, until she could use his position in the government and the distance he had placed between him and his friends to take over cockberg and either make it hers or destroy it. 

that’s why c!penis killed c!clitoris on the ruins of the bridge. he saw what power was doing to his friend, and that was his ultimatum, his way of letting him know that he had gone too far. that was the reason c!shitty felt the need to distance himself from c!penis in the first place: the second c!shitty started craving more power, c!penis was wary, if not outright critical of it (dont forget that after the shitbitch dispute, c!penis went to c!hairball behind c!shitty’s back to try and take him out of office). however, he now had what season 1 c!shitty probably would’ve viewed as a valid concern, since the way he was acting directly paralleled c!admiral_anus. hence c!clitoris’s murder, which i personally don’t agree with, but i will say that many c!penis antis ignore the fact that, since its minecraft, pets arent regarded in the same way as they are irl, so while still bad, its not as harsh as many of them are making it out to be imo.

but anyway, c!shitty knew that c!penis was warning him. he knew. but the way c!bigfuckingboobs had twisted his worldview, he saw it not as c!penis trying to keep him safe, but as him dragging him down, trying to keep him from achieving what he wanted, which had originally been safety for c!penis and the others, but was now power for him and c!bigfuckingboobs. the meaning behind c!clitoris’s death, not the death itself, was what prompted the electric chair execution, which so many people seem to not understand. 

and that was what was so sad about it: c!bigfuckingboobs was using the very things they had learned from and taught one another to turn them against each other. c!shitty’s ambition and what c!penis had taught him about sacrifice had caused him to take her deal and distance himself from c!penis in exchange for what he thought would guarantee them safety in the first place, while c!penis’s careful nature and the things he had learned from c!shitty about standing up for himself caused him to directly oppose him. this all led up to c!penis’s execution, directly paralleling c!hairball’s in the cockberg war arc.

c!bigfuckingboobs let them drive one another into ruins, because with that, the very foundation cockburg had been built upon would crumble, and she could take power without ever having to lift a finger. the war left c!shittypenis with different desires, and c!shitty’s desire for power and c!penis’s outright aversion to it due to his trauma with c!admiral_anal clashed and ruined everything they had once had. that is why c!shittypenis is the most heartbreaking dynamic on the penissmp, and why they are some of the best written narrative foils i have ever seen. 

TL;DR: c!shittypenis contrast each other perfectly, and these differences ended up pulling them apart after the war for cockberg

[sprawa-przybyszewskiej]

Gnostic inspirations in Przybyszewska’s works

At the highest point of her intellectual life, Stanisława Przybyszewska spent over 12 hours each day simply on writing her own works, continously, and with maniacal care, educating herself on absolutely everything (she was constantly looking for fields in which she might be a natural genius) and she rarely did anything else at all, which included things like earning a wage or sweeping her own floors. The effect of such existence was of course that she was severely depressed, but also thoroughly educated. It means that traces of whatever matter from history or philosophy can be spotted in her works, are most likely intentional and put there exactly with the hopes of showing her erudice.

One of such matters was gnosticism. Gnosticism is a set of beliefs which put emphasis on obtaining liberation from this life through gnosis (knowledge) and cast aside all that is not of the mind – so not only the flesh, but also the spirit. Without going into details of some specific gnostic rite it is simpler to say that gnostics value gnosis higher than any of their base beliefs and teachings (in Europe gnostics are mostly mentioned in relation to early christianity, Cathars are an example of this). Then the contrast one can find within religion (for example sin and liberation from it) is replaced with earthly illusion and gnosis, which frees one from the illusion and guarantees a higher level of life, of sorts (in gnostic beliefs, our presence on Earth is not linear, leading from birth, through life and death to afterlife, but resembles more of a ladder, with each rung leading closer to obtaining total knowledge, and simultenously losing all that tethers one to earthly illusions.

In literature, strong contrasts are a good indication we can look into it to spot gnostic inspirations or at the very least make a strong case they could be there, even if unintentional. In Przybyszewska's case, however,  they are all the more probable, for I vaguely recall she was well aware of the presence of these beliefs and everything she wrote on the nature of genius points in the same direction, too. She held these beliefs in her own, private set of core values, and there isn't any better place for her to show them to us but through her works. She presented us with an utopian vision of mental progress in her plays, while in her prose works, she focused on the darker side of the same things.

The axis of conflict in gnosticism is between the mind and the spirit. Robespierre is without a doubt a man of the mind much more so than of the spirit, and all the important figures surrouding him are more on the spiritual side of things (with Camille being the most prominent in this regard). Maxime has achieved the gnosis, the crown that will burn [his] brains right through.Before it happens, though, he is elevated onto another plane of understanding, a place where no other person can reach him, or even understand him:

Danton, of course, is lying.

(There is, sadly, no French translation of Thermidor; on another note, it took me this long to realize the French decided to change the person's tag from Camille to Desmoulines, which is suprising in the best sense of the word).

Robspierre is clearly constructed to be a genius, standing above everybody else and thus bearing greater responsibility, something which demands of him more than it does of others.  Madness which he suspects within himself at the end  is only a threat because it potentially leads to commiting mistakes, and a mistake is an unforgivable offence when it is committed by the one who ought to know better. Mistakes by a hand of another – for example Camille – are a different story altogether, for the majority of people not only don't achieve gnosis, but even cannot achieve it, their mental state isn't developed enough for them to grasp at the higher concepts. I think this is one of the reasons why Saint-Just's words: It is not madness, it's despair, are actually calming Robespierre down. Despair is simply a sign of being weary, something to be expected.

Maxime's knowledge and better judgement of everything is of course still a curse, leading to his death. In gnosticism, death isn't meant in a macabre sense, since it leads to yet another, higher rung of the metaphorical ladder we're standing on, but the gnosis obtained beforehand makes a death a good one instead of a waste. When Robespierre is going through his moment of despair at the end of The Danton Case, he betrays the gnosis he has in favour of admiting that the future will turn out differently than what could be expected: his death won't be a natural progression, but a failure, his depaire sets him back into the crowd of the sad, grey mass of the people who are not – like him – predestined to understand more.

From the linguistic point of view, I find it interesting that in the original and in the French version, he is using somewhat esoteric language (the future is under the sign of Danton – to my eyes, it is a clear refereance to the Zodiac signs, something which is supposed to predestine our futures, and which is also esoteric and ritualistic; given all the hints that she was abused by her satanist father, it makes a really sad, hopeless final note on the grand scheme of things for the humanity, that we, as humans, are incapable of running away from the brute forces which will continue to rule us simply because the world is built like this – not to mention the inability to change the future or even just the fate of one's life is a staple of gnostic beliefs).

No matter what he says about it, the inability to escape from one's fate is something which we rarely associate with Robespierre, because – as much as Przybyszewska makes it clear, thet he is a genius and thus everything he does he is not only allowed to do, but must do it for the greater good – he seems a bit like a self-made man, perhaps because we see him all the time in situations which are hard and difficult, but not impossible. A much more tragic situtation of the lack of escape from his own poor choices is being presented to us through Camille.

Camille has had a chance to be continously tethered to Maxime, securing for himself relevant safety in the public life, and calmess or even happiness in his private one. Yet he breaks with Robespierre over and over again, starting even before the plot of the play. Maxime reaches out to him against his better judgement, and Camille – also against his better judgement – decides to stay loyal to Danton. He is as if glued to his leader, even though he sees him clearly for what he is. Camille is an apotheosis of a spiritual being, someone ruled by impulses, perhaps even with the best of intentions, but whose mind will never achieve gnosis, the clear vision of what is right and true. When Robespierre argues with the Committee by demanding they leave Danton (and Camille by proxy) alone, he plots against Maxime in his newspaper; when Robespierre goes to him under the cover of night, he doesn't want to see him and then throws him out; when Robespierre tries to either break him free from the prison or at the very least console him by admitting his love (I never actually knew what was his plan here), he follows the advice of his bad influences and doesn't admit him. It's as if a strange force kept him by Danton's side, and I don't think it was any normal feeling (of shame or guilt) keeping him away from Maxime. In The Last Nights of Ventose he makes it quite clear being a stronger person's lap dog would never bring him shame, but honour, thus I don't think he'd have any problem with returning to Robespierre after a long while of abuse and slander.

The relationship Camille has with Danton is another aspect of gnosticism, namely its duality. Danton is a stand-in for Maxime, which doesn't work because Danton is anti-Robespierre, his negative double (much like in some gnostic beliefs world was created and being conducted by two gods, one good and one evil). It is unclear whether Camille had any real, true potential to serve "good" Robespierre, but  even if he didn't, if his friableness kept him from serving a greater purpose (which I don't know if I believe, in The Last Nights of Ventose we are presented with a very different portrayal of Camille, one who could achieve something much greater than he did if only he was by Robespierre's side at all times), serving the "evil" Danton couldn't possibly have a good outcome.

He even does return to Robespierre, for a short while, steered by emotions rather than anything else. But in this dualistic, gnostic reality, emotions have little to do, they aren't worth very much. What's more, if we focus solely on Camille, we have to admit that – as in every story, revolving around a single character – a person is in a way stuck in time. He can go about in the space his life takes, but time is more like a deity, untouchable and something you cannot pact with. For Camille, it doesn't matter how many times and at what point in time (before their fallout, during the crisis or at the last hour) Maxime asks him to break with Danton and go back to him, because time and predestined fate hold all the power of what is happening, while individuals hold none (and the aforementioned last statement of Robespierre explains right away that it is so even for the "great" individuals, who in other aspects are being held to different standards, but against time and fate they are just as powerless).

I like to think, though, that Przybyszewska has left a small postern for Camille to achieve gnosis or its more humane equivalent by drawing a symbolic parallel between two scenes, which are only made significat by their possible relating to each other, but mean next to nothing on heir own:

In the first scene, the key could have been a completely incidental choice of words/tools, after all it's a logical conclusion of the scene. There is, however, a more symbolic reading of it, as a key is of course a symbol, and a pretty easy one at that. If Camille gave Robespierre the key himself, this could be read as an end to their relationship, Camille returning the power  that Maxime holds over him to Maxime's own hands. But since we only see Lucille relay the key, and we know that Lucille is also capable of influencing her husband and directing his steps (even if she says she can't; Robespierre's words, seeing as he's the genius here, are the final judgement of this), this could mean she is giving her portion of power to Maxime, whom she trusts to save her husband. And Maxime uses this one more time, when he tries to visit Camille in prison. That he fails miserably is against Camille's wishes, because Camille even in his demise only succumbs to wishes of others.

But we know he regrets this step mightily and we know it precisely because he dreams (or rather has a nightmare) about the very key he was supposed to convey to Robespierre earlier. He regrets the desire to give Maxime his power back, he regrets that by doing so in any way, shape or form he has finally given up his life. Choosing a beautiful death over an ugly, humiliating life only sounded good in his head, but in truth, he is beyond terrified and would love nothing more but to Maxime to come in again and if not save him, then at the very least – forgive him. But for that, they'd have to meet again, and he couldn't throw Maxime out. I also don't understand why both the English and French translation added the word "effortlessly" when describing his last moment with Robespierre, because make no mistake, it is very much an unnecessary addition, going against everything that he has been portrayed like so far. Their last conversation is just as much a tragic one for Camille as it is for Maxime.

Przybyszewska took great pains to paint Camille in front of our eyes as someone so weak that we find him as more of a comic relief than anything else, but in reality he is just a differing portrayal of powerlessness when faced with fate. Camille is not a comical character, but a tragic one, he is just the same as Robespierre, his other half: they both believe in their own agency, they both believe they are the ones making choices and pushing their lives forward, but it is not a coincidence that they both end up in he very same place, in a span of mere weeks.

This post would not have been born if it weren't for @patricidefan​.

[mrsjadecurtiss]

The thing that we won’t have a roose chapter it’s kinda sad. Like we will never know if doing certain things (like the red wedding) didn’t minimally affect him or otherwise. Like we can’t forget that he doesn’t EXPRESS his feelings not that he hasn’t any. I know Brabrey said this specifically but as wise she is she can’t read others mind. I’m not justifying any action I’m only saying it would be interesting finding out he actually “gives shit” about things he did. And I know the probabilities of this being true are very low, but as a person myself who has difficulties to express my emotions and seems apathic to others while I feel emotions with the same intensity as everyone I was curious.

Oooh now that you sent your second ask the original one appeared! My reply got a little long; I will use quotes from your ask as “chapter headers” for the different topics so it is easier to understand.

“We will never know if doing certain things (like the red wedding) didn’t minimally affect him or otherwise. [...] I’m not justifying any action I’m only saying it would be interesting finding out he actually “gives shit” about things he did.”

I don't think Roose feels *bad* about the red wedding - he didn’t have to do it after all, it's not like he was under coercion or threat of his life; arguably the entire thing wouldnt have worked without having a strong northern traitor. While Robb's cause was a losing one and this influenced Roose to turn cloak after weighing the alternatives, Roose was not in danger under Robb and his betrayal appears to have been about both minimizing his waste of resources in a losing cause as well as the advantages he can get from this new alliance and what Tywin offers.

Roose appears to fundamentally be a selfish man, who decides his actions after what will give him the most benefit at the smallest risk to his own person. Any regrets i imagine he might feel (this could be what you meant in your ask) would be not on a moral level, but rather about mistakes he made that led him into a position that might not end well for him, and the danger he has gotten himself into.

Roose Bolton said nothing at all. But Theon Greyjoy saw a look in his pale eyes that he had never seen before—an uneasiness, even a hint of fear.  - aDwD

Roose to me represents the worst of feudalism, and the epitome of how someone turns out who is raised at the top of this society and with an unchallenged privilege. He has no respect for the autonomy of the people below him in hierarchy, and sees politics and the power at his hand as a tool to benefit himself first and foremost.

“We can’t forget that he doesn’t EXPRESS his feelings not that he hasn’t any.”

Agreed - for all that he is evil and callous i believe it is shown that he has feelings and emotions, which he generally hides under a mask.

Roose Bolton's own face was a pale grey mask, with two chips of dirty ice where his eyes should be. - aDwD

We know he feels fear about his crumbling political situation, he feels fondness for Walda, he appears to talk about Domeric with affection, he is amused enough by Arya not to punish her, he refuses to break the taboo of kinslaying, and something drives him to keep Ramsay around even though it is not advantageous rationally. He has his wants and needs, he has societal expectations he adheres to (like the expectation to continue his family line), he has a distaste for being disrespected...

As an example of him showing emotion, in the Red Wedding itself i believe grrm intentionally contrasts his behaviour with the prior Jaime chapter: where in his dialogue with Jaime he seems relaxed, talks a lot and is shown enjoying his food, in the Red Wedding he is quiet and doesn’t eat much while exchanging subtle threats with Lord Walder. This appears to show that he was indeed stressed in this high-stakes situation and aware of the danger he was in. Note that the quote from aDwD about him showing fear also explicitly points out that he says "nothing at all" in a time of stress, paralleling his lack of dialogue during the RW chapter. (Catelyn is depressed and so probably not talkative, but he also doesnt engage in dialogue with his wife despite her “chatter”).

I wont expand on it too much in this post for length's sake, but i think it is also likely that Roose shares traits with Ramsay in terms of emotionality (which he then hides under his “mask”, as opposed to his openly emotional son); For example his behaviour of not tolerating disrespect and taking what is "his" in the event with the miller's wife. Some i also briefly touched upon in this meta.

“I know Brabrey said this specifically but as wise she is she can’t read others mind.”

In “The Prince of Winterfell”, Barbrey has a long paragraph about her opinion on Roose. As this is her first longer scene, it is my opinion that her entire long dialogue scene with Theon is meant not only to show insight into some of the characters she talks about, but also about her own character; since the way someone talks about people shows how they think.

The negative way she talks about Roose ( “Roose has no feelings, you see.”) seems to be informed by several things:

- Obviously, his callous and selfish personality and lack of morals

- The fact that Barbrey and Roose clearly have history. Considering that Roose now has Ramsay as his heir, and Barbrey loathes Ramsay for what she believes is his fault in Domeric's death, Barbrey likely harbors some resentment against Roose for this move. This likely boosts her opinion that he is completely emotionless and only "plays with [people]" without caring for them. Her line "He does not love, he does not hate, he does not grieve" seems to contain a certain bitterness, and i believe it at least partially refers to their personal history (one could try to continue her words: he does not love [Barbrey], he does not hate [Ramsay], he does not grieve [Domeric].).

- Barbrey calls Theon's heart "craven and cringing", she calls Wyman Manderly "craven to the bone, that one", and she holds a grudge against Eddard for what he did to her without presenting much understanding for his side of the story. I believe she has a tendency to have a slightly superficial view of people or at least to talk badly about these superficial aspects, informed among other things by their appearance (Ned and Roose are plain, Theon and Wyman have physical deficiencies) and presentation (the colder Roose/Ned vs the outgoing wolf-blooded Brandon), and by the slights she perceived they did to her. She also has a tendency to scapegoat people to cope with grief, like hating on Rickard’s maester for Brandon's marriage.

So while she is right about Roose' callousness and moral bankruptcy and has some correct statements, as a fallible character (as opposed to the all-knowing author) she likely somewhat designs her view of him to fit her own narrative and worldview. So while she is an enticing source since she is close to him, her view on him should be taken with a grain of salt the same way she is not 100% correct about people like Ned or Wyman. Some things she says can be argued with through character analysis, and some things we have concrete quotes we can contrast: For example while she says "I think [Roose] would be pleased if the fat man attempted some betrayal", we know that Roose is in fact worried and bothered by the prospect, and in his dialogue to Ramsay it reads like he describes the unfaithfulness of his allies as threatening instead of an amusement. She also theorizes Roose wants to be king in the north, which seems like an impossible plan in his current political situation and nothing we had any hints towards so far in his scenes (I sometimes like to muse it might have been a reference to grrm's plans for the five year gap).

So basically what i would love a Roose PoV for is turning all the "apparently"s and "maybe"s from my metas into either confident statements or to deconfirm them... Showing some more of his view on the world, some more of his past, how he really feels about people without filtering it through dialogue and political goals... His worries, his anger, his happiness, raw and unfiltered... His long scene with Theon in Reek III practically doubles as half a PoV chapter because of the insane amounts of exposition in his dialogue (Theon barely talks or thinks for pages while Roose talks), but it is still filtered through Theon's impression of him and the agenda Roose might have behind his spoken words to present himself in a certain way.

I like to analyze his character from his lines in the book, and what few quotes I find by grrm in the So Spake Martin collection round out my impression of him well, but I would love to have a view inside his head to really get to the meat of it, and get a view of his true personality without the help of assumptions and implications.

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Season 2, Episode 4 - Desperate Times

This episode begins with Konstantin taking Villanelle to the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. They go to the art museum and Konstantin takes Villanelle and he stands in front of a painting of Adam and Eve by Cornelis van Haarlem, called ‘The Fall of Man’. Villanelle doesn’t really pay attention to the painting but in the shot she is positioned standing in between Adam and Eve, in the place of the serpent. This imagery puts Villanelle in the equivalent place of the serpent, in Eve’s life; she is tempting Eve away from her normal life, as well as away from Niko and her life with him, in the same way as the serpent does. This placement of Villanelle in the shot, in between Adam and Eve in the paining, also visually shows the audience how Villanelle is driving Eve and Niko apart from each other by coming in between the two of them.

Instead of looking at the painting of Adam and Eve, Villanelle is more taken by the painting of ‘The Corpses of the De Witt Brothers’ by Jan de Baen. This is firstly where Villanelle gets the inspiration for her next kill. However, Villanelle being attracted to this painting (rather than ‘The Fall of Man’ that Konstantin is looking at) also symbolises how she knows that her kills and the exciting showmanship she uses when she does them, is what she can use to come in between Eve and Niko (just as she stands between Adam and Eve in the painting) and also what she can use to help her to tempt Eve away from her life (like the serpent).

The song playing just before this scene (when Konstantin meets Villanelle on the bridge at the Leidsegracht canal), and when Konstantin and Villanelle first go to Rijksmuseum is ‘Remember’ by Unloved. The lyrics are:

“Remember me?

Remember them?

Remember that?

That was then,

This is now,

I'm just saying”

The lyrics of the song reflect the majority of Villanelle’s aim in this episode - she is trying to get Eve’s attention and for her to remember her, as she thinks that Eve isn’t interested in her now that she’s got The Ghost.

The lyrics also illustrate Villanelle’s motives for how she carries out the Amsterdam kill. She knows Eve is intrigued and interested in the style and flamboyancy that she uses in her kills, so through the Amsterdam kill she’s trying to provide all of this for Eve to get her to “remember” her.

For the Amsterdam kill, Villanelle dresses up in a dirndl dress and wears a pig mask. She wears the pig mask because she tells Konstantin “you know he’s into farmyard animals”, and so she knows the man will be intrigued by it. She also wears the dirndl dress, which is a traditional German dress that was originally worn by peasants or servants. The word dirndl is a diminutive of the German word “derne”, which originally meant “young woman” but in modern usage has come to mean a “prostitute”.

The origins of the dirndl dress, as well as it being the colour pink (often associated with being a very feminine colour and often a colour for children, but also suitable for the pig theme), shows how Villanelle is cleverly using her costume to make herself seem vulnerable and for her target think that he is superior and in control.

After the Amsterdam kill, Villanelle asks Konstantin “can we go home now?”, to which he replies “home. What do you mean ‘home’? Where is that exactly?” and Villanelle says “I’m going back to London”. Through this exchange we can that Villanelle obviously considers London, and therefore Eve, as her home now.

The central positioning of Villanelle in the shot, the sofa, the blue wall panels behind Villanelle (like the blue windows behind her in the psychological evaluation scene), the colour choices, the glass table, Villanelle’s hairstyle and her outfit are all very similar to the psychiatric evaluation scene from S1E2. The mirroring of the two scenes implies that Konstantin is again evaluating Villanelle and deciding if she’s okay to work, which is further emphasises by Konstantin’s positioning in the scene - he’s stood to Villanelle’s right (out left), in the same position where the psychologist was sat in the psych evaluation scene (and therefore taking the place of the psychologist in this instance).

It’s also a reminder that Konstantin does care about Villanelle and is constantly monitoring her to check that she’s okay. It also indicates that Konstantin is concerned about Villanelle’s ongoing obsession with Eve, as the last time Villanelle was evaluated was when Konstantin was worried that she was being affected by her memories of her relationship with Anna.

While Villanelle is waiting for Eve in a house, on the opposite side of the street to where her kill took place, Unloved’s ‘Her’ is playing. Over the scene we can hear the lyrics:

“I gave my heart to her.

She has my heart”

The lyrics of the song show how much Villanelle loves, or thinks she loves, Eve. As well as this, it also illustrates why Villanelle is so upset at the end of the episode, after Eve doesn’t show up the the crime scene - she feels like she’s given her heart to Eve and thinks Eve has just moved on from her to The Ghost.

When Eve and Hugo are talking outside of the takeaway chicken restaurant, Hugo says to Eve “I got this job for exactly the same reason as you did” and Eve asks what the reason is, which Hugo says was so “I didn’t die of boredom”. This draws yet another parallel between Villanelle and Eve as in Villanelle’s speech as Billie in S2E6, Villanelle similarly remarks that “I’m just so bored”.

During this conversation Hugo also asks Eve “do you like watching her or being watched”, to which Eve replies that it’s “both”. This applies to both Eve and Villanelle as they both like to pursue each other but also like to be pursed, they both like to be the cat and the mouse at the same time.

Yet another parallel between Eve and villanelle is that they both have also resorted to taking substances as a result of being involved with each other. Eve smokes a cigarette with Hugo, which she says she hasn’t done “since college”; and Villanelle takes drugs, which she never does and initially calls “rat poison”.

The scene where Villanelle is choking the girl in the club toilets after she’s taken the drugs, is shot using the same angles as when Villanelle chokes Rhian in S3E8. The choice to use the same angles for the shots link the two scenes through Villanelle’s relationship with Eve. In the club scene Villanelle is choking the girl because she’s upset and taking out her anger from Eve not turning up; and in the scene on the Tube platform with Rhian, she’s choking her to protect Eve.

The parallel between these two instances also serves to show us the progression of Villanelle’s own feelings of killing. In this episode she is willing to kill the girl she is choking for no reason other than she cut in the line for the club toilets; but in contrast in S3E8, Villanelle is visibly upset by having to kill Rhian and is only doing it to protect her and Eve from being killed by The Twelve.

When Eve is preparing to interrogate The Ghost, she is wearing the “sweater attached to a shirt” from S1E5 and has her hair out at first. The sweater and the hair out reminds us of Eve’s encounter with Villanelle in the kitchen in S1E5, however she then ties her hair up in a bun - perhaps showing that she may have lost a little bit of interest in Villanelle, as she goes against what Villanelle told her to do in S1E1 and does not “wear it down”.

In this scene we also get Eve contrasted with Villanelle. They are both looking at themselves in the mirror, however, Eve is the more emotionally strong one who is chasing another assassin and preparing for an interrogation. However, Villanelle is shown as the emotionally weak one, looking at herself in the mirror after a night of taking drugs, and is crying because she thinks Eve doesn’t care about her now.

Villanelle also smiles as she is crying in the mirror. This might be because she realises that she’s finally feeling something. She said to Eve in S1E5 that “I don’t feel things”, she says in S2E6 that “most of the time, most days, I feel nothing”. We are also reminded of this in S2E7 when Eve asks Villanelle “you don’t feel anything?” and Villanelle replies that “I feel things when I’m with you”; so this moment of Villanelle looking at herself crying in the mirror could be the first moment that she truly realises that she doesn’t feel things but she really does feel things when she’s with Eve (and so this is why she starts smiling) - for her to be genuinely crying and to be actually feeling something over Eve (that isn’t just lust or obsession) is probably a revelation for her.

You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-

First Introduction to Villanelle

First Introduction to Eve

S1, E1 - Nice Face

S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later

S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?

S1, E4 - Sorry Baby

S1, E5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms

S1, E6 - Take Me to the Hole!

S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free

S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired

S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

S2, E2 - Nice and Neat

S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar

S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later

S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary

S2, E7 - Wide Awake

S2, E8 - You’re Mine

S3, E1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey

S3, E2 - Management Sucks

S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits

S3, E4 - Still Got It

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]

S3, E6 - End of Game

S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster

S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]

——————————————————————————

[thechildofstark]

Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four

WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws 

DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve. 

“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post. 

Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:

~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)

The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced

While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him. 

Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor. 

Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know. 

Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:

a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider

b) are bribable

also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.

The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo. 

Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool

 I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole. 

It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here. 

I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.

Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?

Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?

I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight

It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky. 

And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.  

The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum. 

Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.

And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.

Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you. 

And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.

The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww

The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them 

Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings. 

Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)

One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........  Neutral opinion it is then 

Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?

And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.

The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool

Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with. 

LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO

those fuckers (the writers i mean)

Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not. 

Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it

And now we really get into the shit. But...........................

As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?

Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........

Just - 

I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that. 

But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor. 

And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible. 

And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak. 

And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess. 

And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist: 

Sam

Zemo

De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )

IN THAT ORDER. 

That’s all folks. 

Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything. 

And finally - 

the thing we all came to see:

FUCK

JOHN 

WALKER

fin

[reachgirl]

My thoughts on “Buddie”

 1. I think if Fox could realize that sometimes you can’t *plan* for chemistry, it just happens, and when it does it’s magic and you need to let it play out, they would be so far ahead of the curve of other shows and fans beyond their core audience would take notice.  The material IS there to defend it actually happening against claims that they just bowed down to the shippers.

2. On the one hand, I believe that the writers are very deliberately writing a lot of subtext and the directors are leaving in scenes where the actors are making certain choices, both Ryan/Oliver and Peter/Kenneth/Aisha/JLH. But is it just as a “shout out” to the Buddie shippers, or an actual deliberate effort to make a point of how close they are and how dependent they’ve become on their relationship?

3. I’ve talked before how I think deciding on your character’s sexuality before you actually write them out for a while just doesn’t make for believable humanity based on reality. If we’re looking at these two examples, 

Buck has been written in a way that could very well make him bi/pan and not everybody who is and is secure in their identity will go and talk about it constantly. I would also like to remind everyone that bi does not mean you have to stick to a certain quota, like keep your relationships 50/50 male/female. There are many people who are bi who tend to end up in more relationships/even just sexual ones with one gender, and that doesn’t make them less bi or pan. So just because we have only seen him have female love interests during the show, there are some scenes (”Your man crush on Eddie”/”I’m not setting you up with my brother/Hey Now”) that could be interpreted to mean that might not always have been the case, Maddie being the one who would have been there to witness it. We also see Buck not really caring about the social conventions - not only of who he dates - he is consistently written as meeting every person he meets on eye level - even making sure the guy who stole his identity to catfish women wouldn’t lose his dignity in death, but also romantically, we can see him building a connection with Abby through the phone first and falling in love with her as a person, and not caring about her being quite a lot older.

Eddie, and I’ve written about this before, is a little bit of an enigma. Again, we have only seen him in one relationship, and while it doesn’t seem like it was the happiest of marriages, in the end it really did seem like he loved Shannon and wanted to make it work. Up until Ms. Florez we have also seen him almost making a point of not looking to date (”They’re not my type”/”You didn’t set me up, did you?”), and that is pretty much all we know about him. Again, the fact that he was married to a woman and once flirted with one briefly, does not prove or disprove anything. He grew up in Texas, in latino culture, and spent a good amount of his formative years in the US Army, all of these can traditionally be quite conservative. From personal experience even I have seen many people who grew up in conservative environments fall in line with the expectations set for them by their communities (often very early, and Eddie and Shannon did get married quite young), especially if their community doesn’t provide a lot of LGBTQ-visibility or role models. Yes, Eddie does “act” straight, whatever that means and whether that is an actual concept, but the way he behaves in a lot of scenes with Buck, and I’ll get back to this in point 8., could be interpreted in other ways.

4. TV today has gotten a lot better at showing LGBTQ relationships that aren’t a) just on the sidelines b) serving as collateral emotional damage to drive the plot or c) are written in a way that is basically just taking a hetero-couple-storyline and casting two people of the same gender in it. I am worried that they think they can’t do the “coming out later in life” storyline again with Buddie because they already have Michael (which brings me back to point 1. Let the damn magic happen when it’s right in front of your eyes), and they can’t have another main cast LGBTQ character - or two - because they already have Hen (and Karen). Obviously these are not valid reasons, look at other shows like 911 Lone star for representation within the main cast, but of course, this is a double edged sword because there is a concern that they gave us 911 Lone Star to do what they wouldn’t or couldn’t do with the original. (On a side note, Owen Strand is the fairy godfather of Texas and I live for that show)

5. Parallels. This has been talked about a lot, and there are much better posts about it than this one. But writers aren’t stupid, or careless, so I do believe that to a certain extent they’re aware of how they are setting up parallels between Buck and Eddie’s love lives. We have them agreeing to “have each other’s backs” in contrast to Shannon telling Eddie that he never had hers. We have Eddie telling Buck that there is no one he trusts more with Christopher than him, while he makes it clear that while he thinks he can forgive Shannon, he doesn’t think he can trust her. We had Shannon coming back just as Buck decides to leave Abby behind finally, and we had Ali showing up when Shannon dies, and now Ana when the writers point out how single Buck is.

6. Themes. The episode themes in 9-1-1 are kinda like horoscopes, they’re meant to be able to work for multiple storylines and connect all the main characters through one focus. But we’ve seen a lot of themes surrounding family or trust or love that have an obvious connection to a Buddie moment on the show. Chosen Family. Home. Being able to trust your partner. Seizing the day. And even when it’s something that doesn’t immediately connect the two, the scenes are cut in a way that imply there’s a connection, like Eddie telling Chim to tell Maddie he loves her, because tomorrow isn’t promised. Chim calls Maddie to invite her to dinner to finally do this, and right before this we see Eddie asking Buck to lunch - this is probably just a coincidence, right? But we can be sure that the director, writers and cutters were aware of this, and made the choice to do it this way, for whatever reason. Because this is their exact job, telling stories through how they cut scenes together. 7. Christopher. So this might be what makes Buddie a little more unique compared to the, admittedly, dozens of other seemingly “straight bromances” that people have shipped. Most scenes we get with Buck and Eddie that are outside of work, involve Chris in some way. It’s probably safe to say that part of the reason they became so close is because Buck and Chris have a connection that I would wager goes beyond what most friends have with their single-dad-friend’s kid. We see how important Buck becomes in Christopher’s life, and vice versa, pretty much a few episodes after they meet for the first time. Eddie trusts Buck with Chris’ life, and he trusts him with any problems relating to Christopher that he needs to work through. Buck’s his sounding board for his role as a parent, which is interesting considering Eddie has other friends at the 118 that actually are parents? *cough* Chosen family *cough*

8. Closeness. As I said above, sometimes writers plan one storyline, but the magic happens somewhere they didn’t expect, and if that is the case, and you want to be faithful to your characters, you should seize that opportunity. I think we can all agree this is one of those cases where the chemistry is just off the charts. There are long looks, there is a lot of being in sync, there’s constant physical contact when they’re sitting or walking next to each other. Personal space, who? Again, this is something the director could discourage, or use a take that didn’t have Buck grab his belt buckle and invading Eddie’s personal space in his own kitchen, but they decided on this take. They decided on the take of Eddie clearly checking out Buck’s behind and Chim noticing. Now Buck seems to be pretty comfortable with closeness anyway, but Eddie isn’t the most touchy guy with anyone else, so this is noticeable. And it works.

9. Look. Somebody sat down and wrote “You want to go for the title?” and I would pay a lot of money to see the stage directions on that script because holy fuck. There’s a lot of info in their exchanges - and it implies that there are lots of moments that these two talk that we don’t get to see - Buck immediately knows about Eddie and Ana, and he knew about the situation with Shannon too (and didn’t hide his jealousy very well). When they don’t talk, it clearly gets to Eddie, who doesn’t have that many other people he really trusts and can open up to. Cue “husbands fighting in the supermarket”. But what’s also interesting to me is that their dynamic involves a lot of Eddie teasing Buck. “Exoskeleton” “Aren’t you still in that phase?” “You would have talked me into buying a more expensive one”.. and Eddie sometimes uses it to keep their conversations from getting into dangerous, emotional territory, like during the kitchen scene. And I don’t know about y’all, but that sounds like something I’ve done before when I knew there was something to get into, and I just didn’t know how or when. 

_______________________________________

Wow I could keep going but this is already so long. I’m so sorry everyone. But I figured we all now have two weeks so we have time to do a lot of reading 😅Thanks everybody for reminding me about the things that do make it seem like Buddie is an actual possibility, because most of the time, I have to admit, I’m like 70/30 against the hope of it becoming reality. Long live fanfiction! In conclusion, please make it happen, or explain all the choices you have made. YOU CAN’T! 

[zalrb]

Hi zal! Sorry if this is similar to any questions you've answered before, and if you don't want to break it down I totally understand since I know you don't ship any of these ships lol. But in a way do you think chair and klaroline share parallels/similarities? I suppose I ask because I often see both compared to delena, and I hate delena but I like(and loved until later seasons) klaroline and chair, yet I rarely see the two compared?? I guess all three are the "toxic" trope and delena are just badly done but the most talked about. I've been thinking though that maybe a lot of what works for chair/klaroline chemistry and dynamics -- at least in my opinion -- are similar, especially (but not exclusively) in contrast with delena?

You know a long time ago I was asked to do a Gossip Girl as TVD couple comparison and I didn’t believe anyone fit the bill for Chair - I actually said that Klaroline was closest to Chanessa (although KC is more interesting and has more chemistry) because of the whole girl-with-morals-and-ethics-and-boy-with-questionable-morals-maybe-there’s-more-than-meets-the-eye except that Chanessa never went anywhere

Personally, I think the only similarity Klaroline and Chair share is that they both have chemistry.

When I’m being super generous with Chair and think about the narrative that they originally had that I liked and responded to:

OK when I said Chuck “saw” Blair, I meant only in season one when Nate was basically looking at every girl not Blair. At that time, Chuck saw her as someone to be wanted, he saw her as desirable, her saw her as beautiful, he saw her as worthy of attention when Nate simply didn’t,  and essentially saw her as frigid and uptight and a burden, which is why when Nate confronts Chuck about sleeping with Blair and is super indignant about it, Chuck says [and I’m paraphrasing] “Yes, Nathaniel, I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back.”

I don’t think there’s any similarities with Klaroline because I maintain that I hadn’t seen anything in the show that indicates that Klaus actually saw Caroline in a way that no one else had. I just don’t see it.

And then when we get to the kind of relationship Chair was - there is a reason why they’re compared to Delena because they have a lot of the same type of dialogue

it’s just that Chair actually had the kind of chemistry that could back up the dialogue of having this kind of cosmic, beautiful torture, I-breathe-when-you-breathe kind of love (even if I think the narrative took their relationship as far as it could go in season 3)

and Delena didn’t nor did Delena have the kind of details Chair had like the wardrobe

Then there was also a duality I was playing with, with Blair and Chuck's colors when they were in certain scenes together, that would tie them together without really knowing that they're going to end up a couple. I would help illustrate that through keeping them in similar tonalities when they were in emotional scenes together. If she was in a green dress, he would have a green pocket square on; just things that were little hidden gems.

as I’ve mentioned before Delena should be Chair the way that Steroline should be Dair and both fail. 

The kind of chemistry Chair matches this kind of dialogue

The kind of chemistry that Klaroline had substantiates this

which is a different kind of vibe:

The more Caroline interacts with Klaus, the more she’s drawn to him  and that shows with the kind of  chemistry they have where, as someone  who is quite indifferent to their  dynamic, the more they interact  onscreen the more I want them to remain onscreen, I start off  unimpressed (much like Caroline) and move toward  being engaged (again  like Caroline) and like I said, they do their  dynamic well too,  Caroline’s annoyed-but-charmed and Klaus’ arrogant-but-charming   

and that means that when they’re spending time together they have a very breezy vibe,

and they’re cute and I don’t mean AWW, SE is SO adorable, I mean OK-relax-don’t-be-cute which just makes them flirty

and even when Caroline is alone and she’s looking at a letter that Klaus sends her or a gift or whatever, she has that look, like she knows better but his efforts still get her, she still responds even though she has the sense not to and it’s not the UGH-THIS-IS-SO-TORTUROUS vibe, it’s the yeah-ya-got-me

like she’s charmed in spite of herself

and I don’t think that’s Chair-esque.

[kyndaris]

Divine Comedy

There’s a lot to be said about Immortals Fenyx Rising. That it’s a close of Breath of the Wild. That it’s far too childish. Or that it’s essentially Assassin’s Creed, but reskinned. In an age where games have aimed for photorealism and developers have been adamant about using a colour palette that has basically amounted to shades of brown, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a breath of fresh air. The sharp contrasts of yellow, purple, blue and green make the world vibrant and a wonder to behold as they pop out of the screen. Even the art style is a reminder of decades long past when mascots dominated the scene. 

I, for one, find it much better than the deluge of similar character models we’ve encountered for several long years of video games. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

While the title of this post is a reference to the epic poem written by Dante Alighieri, which I haven’t quite finished (and in all likelihood, it might take years before I actually bother with Paradisio and catch up with Dante’s yearning for Beatrice), I thought it quite an apt descriptor for the narrative of Immortals Fenyx Rising. Why, you may ask - as the epic poem describes Dante’s descent into the nine circles of Christian Hell before he journeys to purgatory and on to paradise? 

Simple. Because while the plot of the Divine Comedy doesn’t have many (if any) parallels with the game itself, I thought it was a great way to draw attention that Immortals Fenyx Rising is a story told within a story. And who should tell it but our favourite titan chained to a rock, where his liver is ripped out by an eagle every day, as well as the Father of the Gods, Zeus himself.

While the internal timeline takes a bit of time to adjust to, I liked having Prometheus and Zeus commenting about the actions Fenyx was undertaking. It was amusing to listen to them argue, provide commentary (mostly Zeus’s opinions of his many children and his exploits) as well as edits to the ongoing narrative to add a little challenge.

But while the telling of the story was exciting, the actual tale was one as old as time. There was nothing original about finding the Gods, collecting their Essences and tackling Typhon once Fenyx was decked out with upgraded gear and had unlocked all the abilities at their disposal. As a purveyor of video games, I’ve encountered the same loop many times and was a little deflated by the time I had defeated Typhon. Even the plot twist near the end failed to serve up much in the way of surprises. 

Typhon, himself, was a little too hammy. While a serviceable villain for a children’s game, there was far too little depth when it came to his interactions with Fenyx. So, if one was hoping for an epic tale, I would advise to look elsewhere. 

Still, given my love for Greek mythology, I liked the retelling of many of the Greek myths and seeing Immortals Fenyx Rising’s rendition of some of my favourite Gods. Though most were not explored in depth, mentioned only in passing, I liked the references made to the Trojan War, the many ways Athena turned young maidens into cursed monsters or animals/ insects, and the numerous Greek heroes that have since found their way into the mainstream.

What I liked most was that Atalanta was given a piece of the spotlight alongside Herakles, Odysseus and Achilles. Even the animated show Class of the Titans stumbled somewhat with the title screen - declaring Atlanta a descendant of Artemis (which is impossible because the Goddess of the Hunt was prided for her virginal status). 

The characterisation of the Gods was also quite nice. Given Zeus’s proclivities, it made sense that his children hated him. Hephaistos soared in the role of tortured artist and Aphrodite’s transformation into a tree, along with her more selfless attitude in that form were all great to witness. Ares, of course, probably had the most fun quoting God of War (2018) with his: “do not be sorry. Be better.”

When it came to the controls, I felt that they were a little too floaty - particularly when it came to running and jumping. Given the aesthetic, however, I was relieved that it was not as pixel perfect as other games. Combat is serviceable and revolves around the use of sword, axe and bow. After levelling up my weapons and armour, and equipping those that would complement my play style, I was nigh unstoppable as I tore around the Golden Isles on my noble steed.

The one major gripe I had about Immortals Fenyx Rising were the puzzles. There are far too many. Almost every collectible or myth challenge involved moving weighted boxes around, hitting targets with arrows or racing a countdown timer. While most are quite easy, some of the Tartaros vaults could be downright devilish with how precise the timing is. I hope that future iterations would allow for separate difficulties for combat and puzzles/ dungeons because I still have nightmares about a few of them. It just seemed that wherever Fenyx went, they were dogged by contraptions that needed solving and this sucked out quite a bit of the fun from exploring and taking a look at the next question mark on the map.

Immortals Fenyx Rising is different from many games that have come from triple-A studios. While there are many similarities to Nintendo’s Breath of the Wild, the colourful nature of the land of gods and monsters is a far cry from what Ubisoft had primarily been churning out on a regular basis. And that’s a good thing. Shaking up the formula, even a little bit, by making things look a little more cartoony or using colours that pop out of the screen is a great way to reengage with players that might be suffering from first-person shooter fatigue. And while I don’t mind exploring the English countryside as a Vikingr, it is nice to be able to freely customise my avatar and make them wear goofy outfits rather than watching them grimace realistically for the sixtieth game in a row.

Also, it featured a credits scene. Albeit, a fake one that was meant to throw the players off. But, at least there kind of was one?

[candicewright]

Kindly requesting that analysis on wangxian being peak romance and how it compares to queerbaiting please 🙏 🙏 🙏

Hello, anon! I am very genuinely happy that my rambling thoughts interest you in any way (because I have a lot of thoughts) so here is my analysis as promised. It is veeeery long (almost 2k), sorry about that but I’ve really been looking forward to talking about this for a very long time. In the end, it isn’t so much about how Wangxian is peak romance and more about the censorship and how it compares to queerbaiting, I may have to do another post about that later on. Without much further ado, here it is!

The Untamed’s tasteful censorship vs. BBC Merlin’s queerbaiting and why I prefer one over the other.

I know most people follow this blog for Merlin and believe me when I say that I love this show more than I can say because it has quite literally changed my life. But The Untamed has opened my mind to a whole new world (insert Aladdin’s A Whole New World here) and it has given me a lot of perspective on a lot of things.

I often joke with my friends saying that my first consideration when choosing a new show to watch is saying “is it gay?” which is not far from the truth, but it’s also not the complete story. What I mean is that I ask myself “does this show have a relationship that I think is worth getting invested in?”. Yes, t usually happens that those are not heterosexual romances, but what can I say, I’m queer and I like my emotional support fictional characters to be so too. This is the exact reasoning that led me to Merlin. I saw a couple of videos about them on youtube and immediately found their dynamic compelling and their story beautifully tragic. But like with most shows these days, the writers failed (among other things) to make their relationship explicit. This has happened with every show I watched after Merlin too; The Witcher, Sherlock and Good Omens being the most notable ones. 

You can argue if they are or are not queerbaiting, I at least think Good Omens isn’t, but again, it is pretty subjective.

But i had grown so accustomed to this type of media that I fully went into The Untamed expecting something similar.

And oh boy was I wrong.

Now, the case of The Untamed is a curious one because it is supposed to be a love story between two men due to being based on a BL novel, but because of censorship, it had to be very toned down. I found this out right before actually watching the show while doing some preliminary research and while it did change my thought on what I was getting into I truly thought they would just erase the entire relationship and try to hide it behind straight relationships like in most other shows I had watched.

But that was absolutely not the case, to my endless relief and joy.

But how? How did they get away with censoring all the explicit aspects of a romantic relationship while still managing to tell a wonderful love story? And how does this compare to the queerbaiting of a show like Merlin?

Warning: I will be using different parts of both shows and probably some of the MDZS novel to illustrate my point, so there will be spoilers.

The initial accidental chemistry + innuendos vs. The establishment of the very clear enemies to friends to lovers trope

I’m going to use Merlin to compare and contrast this because it’s what I know best and the other show I've given a lot of thought to.

Merthur and Wangxian are both similar and different dynamics in the way they’re written and it was one of the things that drew me into The Untamed in the first place. Both stories begin with our main duo meeting and instantly disliking each other, ending up in a fight. And while they both set the story up to lead to a more intimate bond being created between the pairs, there’s something very different from the start.

Merthur is deliberately set up to be a close friendship and all innuendos and chemistry are accidental (in my opinion and only at the start). Let me explain.

The concept for Merlin clearly started with the idea of how the story would change if Merlin was a young boy arriving in Camelot instead of an old powerful sorcerer. Then they made the main plot to be his destiny/friendship with the young and arrogant Prince Arthur. I truly believe that the first innuendos were not what they intended and that all chemistry and sexual tension between the characters comes courtesy of Colin and Bradley and how undeniably good they look on screen together. Fans then started speculating (as we always do) and then the production team decided to run with it, making it almost a recurring joke when it shouldn’t have been. Had they treated that developing relationship seriously like what they were hinting it was, the show would have been very different.

The Untamed on the other hand, is everything but accidental. What they’re doing is deliberately establishing the enemies to friends to lovers trope from the very beginning. It’s not an accident that during their first fight on the roof of the Cloud Recesses Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that women would find his true character very disappointing and that no one would want to marry him. he says so several times in fact and this is clearly both to highlight the change in their relationship as well as to say that Lan Wangji is not at all interested in the opinion of any female (or anyone besides Wei Wuxian for that matter). This is the same stuff we see in mainstream straight romances: one of the characters saying something to the effect of “who would want to date them?” only to end up involved with the other at the end of the story.

You could argue that Merlin does something similar with the conversation between Merlin and Kilgharrah where Merlin is affronted by the idea of having to help Arthur where he says “There must be another Arthur because this one’s an idiot...If someone wants to kill him, they can go right ahead. In fact, I’ll give them a hand.” but the difference between these two is that Merlin is hiding behind the guise of destiny and friendship to make these parallels while Wangxian is deliberately and clearly in a romantic context.

The deliberate continuation of the subtext vs. The suggestion of something more

The accidental nature of the subtext doesn’t last long and in true BBC fashion, it turns into full-on queerbaiting real fast. Again, you can argue endlessly about when the deliberately suggestive comments start, but by the end of the show, we know for a fact the entire production staff and even the staff were aware of the effect and reception their show was having. This was no longer an innocent mistake on people reading too much into it, it was a very purposeful narrative that they were pushing without ever truly committing to it. This is what got fans going crazy over “poetry” or lines like “you’re the only friend I have and I couldn’t bear to lose you”. These are all very intentional choices they made to keep their devoted fanbase interested and while we’re all very thankful for this material it really keeps us wondering what it could have been if they had taken that extra step.

The Untamed can’t take that step because of the censorship laws, but it’s still much more daring than Merlin ever was. While Merlin keeps the soulmate aspect of the Merthur relationship a suggestion, The Untamed outright says it, which was baffling to me. It even does it at a pint where the first kiss happened in the novel, which you would think makes it less romantic. But that's absolutely not the case because of both the non-consensual nature of that original kiss and because of how heartbreakingly beautiful the replacement scene is. Not only that, but they also keep all the elements you could expect to see in any pre-relationship stage of a developing romance story: endless amounts of mutual pining, not-really-unrequited love, jealousy, panicking at the sight of your crush (yes I’m looking at you 15-year-old Lan Wangji) and even some fun in vino veritas moments. They even have a son together! It doesn’t get more clear than that!

This is all the way the show has of suggesting something more without outright saying (even though it’s a pretty not subtle way of suggesting it).

Merlin, on the other hand, keeps trying to deny the romantic nature of the Merthur dynamic, which brings me to my next point.

The introduction of a female love interest as an excuse vs. The awareness that the audience understands the relationship in the way it's meant to be

Now, this one really bugs me, because of all the ways they could have done this they truly chose the worst and destroyed Gwen’s character in the process. 

In my opinion, the writers could have done a few different things. They could have fully developed the Merthur relationship as a romantic one while keeping Gwen’s role as a queen and creating a much more satisfying character arch for her, maybe even getting her together with Morgana or Lancelot. They could have focused on the Awen romance and therefore lowered the suggestions of romance between Merlin and Arthur, once again creating a much more enjoyable subplot for Gwen, though it could have also meant sacrificing the very powerful bond between the main characters. They could have even taken advantage of Gwen’s crush on Merlin in the first season and gone on the full-on polyamory direction! That would have been much better! Instead, they halfassed the romance between Arthur and Gwen and made it just...meh. Not that Angel and Bradley didn’t do a great job, it was more of a writing problem than a them problem.

The Untamed (despite the rumours and possibilities of a Wen Qing/Wei Wuxian relationship) decided to just run with the not really platonic relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, making them the complete focus of the story while still upholding the censorship laws. What I think the biggest difference between the two shows is, is that one runs on assuming the audience is stupid while the other one assumes the audience is smart.

Let me explain once more.

The Merlin writers clearly thought that by introducing Gwen as the love interest to Arthur he would just become what? Magically straight? As if we hadn’t seen the last four seasons of sexual tension between him and Merlin? The audience was not fooled for the most part, but some people did fall for this, coming with the argument “But he’s married to Gwen so he’s straight!” as if being gay or straight are the only two possibilities but oh well.

The Untamed does quite the opposite. It relies on the fact that the audience is going to catch onto the romantic aspect of the narrative without them actively saying anything because we are Not Dumb. It also does something that I think is quite beautiful which is leaving it up for interpretation as far as whether it’s platonic or not and even more touching is the way the story has resonated with the ace community (that is according to what I’ve seen, please do correct me if I’m wrong) by focusing on their emotional and intellectual connection instead of in their physical and sexual one.

This is why, in the end, I prefer what I call The Untamed’s tasteful censorship over Merlin and other shows’ blatant queerbaiting.

I feel the need after all of this to state that Merlin is still my favorite show of all time and that this is not by any means me saying that Merlin is absolute trash or something like that. There’s also a lot more that I think can be said in this conversation, so please feel free to tell me what you think and if you’ve ever encountered something similar to this.

Also, if I made any mistakes or wrong points, please don’t be shy about telling me!

I hope this rant was at least somewhat interesting and that you found it satisfactory, anon!

[callioope]

Continuing my reactions to Avatar: The Last Airbender. 

This post is about Book 2. See my overall impressions and thoughts on Book 1 here.

Quick/General Thoughts

Uhhh pretty wild there is both a solar eclipse and a super comet happening in the same summer… anyways!!!

Ba Sing Se was so messed up omg

Aang

SMH more adults trying to take advantage of Aang. I was furious with the Earth Kingdom general who tried to force Aang to fight the Fire Lord well before he was ready. Clearly he was not ready! And then the audacity for him to attack Aang and then Katara to provoke the Avatar state was whole levels of messed up. 

The Great Appa Kidnapping: Yeah, so, as soon as the sand traders took him, I was like, “Oh no. I’ve heard about this. They are going to be in trouble!” But even then I didn’t know it stretched out over so many episodes. These episodes broke my heart! Aang’s complete distress at having lost Appa. Then the episode from Appa’s POV. Poor Appa! He goes through so much. It’s devastating. And then both Appa and Aang both dream of how they originally met each other? UNFAIR. CRUEL. HOW DARE THE CREATORS DO THIS TO ME. (I’m being facetious I love it I live for this kind of drama this is how i express they were doing good storytelling)

The whole “final chakra” being about letting go of attachments… hmm that felt VERY Star Wars of them… Filoni is this your doing? (Although actually I don’t remember seeing his name on any Book 2 episodes.)

Sokka

My fave continues to be the long-suffering Sokka, just trying to get his family to Omashu, it shouldn’t be this hard!!! This was literally what I wrote at the time of watching “Chapter Two: The Cave of Two Lovers,” and OH LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! [cut to Book 3… lmao… anyways]

Sokka making a map to help keep track of the maze-like cave/tunnel is actually really clever. I can’t believe people think he’s stupid. I mean, sure, it didn’t end up working, but that’s because the cave was magic or whatever, and that is beyond his control!

Side note, but lol at Sokka’s purchases and love for shopping. His ridiculous belt! How excited he was that it matched his bag!

Second side note, I was pretty excited to see that gif where Sokka is making that “I’m watching you” gesture and then goes “Water tribe!”

Katara

Yeah, notice how I don’t have much to say about Katara? It’s not that I don’t like her or that I don’t think she’s interesting, but. I just don’t really have a lot to say about her. 

I was amused by how she handled those bullies. My impression before I started watching was that she was going to be this like, pure and GoodTM character, but she definitely has her flaws and that is better.

I really liked the scene where she is able to calm Aang down while he’s in the Avatar state. There was good build up to that, showing her worry every time he entered it and her awareness of the fact that he only ever enters it when feeling upset. The fact that she was able to do that clearly Meant Something. So again, I suppose, I really feel up to this point that the show is very much like “Aang/Katara Endgame!” it felt very obvious to me. And I knew before starting the show that Zuko and Katara are a thing — but Aang and Katara is just so heavy handed that it was impossible for me to ship them with anyone else. They were just foundational to the show. Like it always felt like a foregone conclusion to me, almost as if they were established from the beginning although they obviously weren’t.

Toph

I spent like, the second half of Book 1 thinking “WHEN TOPH WHEN TOPH!” Imagine my ire that she still isn’t around for the first five episodes of Book 2, which is titled “EARTH” my goodness.

But OH was I delighted by “Chapter 6: The Blind Bandit”!!! I loved her intro, I loved how Aang is just immediately in awe of her skills when he sees her. He knows she’s exactly the teacher he’s been waiting for. “She waited and listened!” he says. Yes. I love it. (But also, lol at Sokka booing Aang.) Despite this, Aang really does not handle that first interaction very well!

So frustrating how her parents were treating her. “She’s fragile and helpless!” what a thing to say about your daughter. [Also you literally named her “tough”?!] And he is basically going to imprison her, wtf. & how do you get off saying “the avatar is no longer welcome here”?! smh children whose parents try to “control” their kids always end up being the most rebellious.

I was amused that “my dad changed his mind” apparently was a popular lie daughters use on this show. *facepalm*

I liked the contrast between how Toph wanted to teach Aang and how Katara thought he should be taught! That was interesting. And yeah, Toph certainly lives up to her name. 

Zuko & Iroh

Spent a good portion of the early part of this season wondering how Zuko and Iroh could possibly be related to the awful Fire Lord (and Azula for that matter — jeez she is nuts!), and longing to know what happened to Zuko’s mom. (Obviously that would be answered soon!)

Knowing that Zuko eventually joins the Aang crew, but also remembering that I never saw Iroh with them, made me SEVERELY worried that something terrible would happen to Iroh. And I spent the entire rest of the series worrying about that. Uh, especially since, apparently Iroh is hopeless at Survival 101. Honestly that was surprising to me. 

Zuko deciding they needed to split up was devastating!!! No!!! I loved the adventures of Zuko & Iroh!! He said, “There's no reason for us to stick together,” and I was like, “Yes there is you idiot! Because you’re family and you love each other!!!” I was so sad. I mean, also Iroh is currently the only person who likes Zuko, so, you know, that might be a good reason to stay with him. Just a thought. 

The last thing Zuko needs is to be alone, that will NOT be good for his issues. And lo and behold, look! Immediately, he’s struggling on his own. But I did like that episode (“Chapter 7: Zuko Alone”) because we get to see Zuko’s mom! (Uh, did she have a name?) Turtle ducks are so cute.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve done to protect you.” THIS. SLAYED. ME!!!!!! I mean, y’all know Rogue One is my jam so this parallel with Zuko’s mom and Galen Erso????? I lost it. I just lost it. Plus, though it isn’t confirmed until later, we can tell she’s sacrificing herself to save Zuko and just. (A) what a completely messed up family, but (B) MY HEART. SHE BETTER BE ALIVE is all I’m saying.

Interesting side note: they never show Ozai’s face in the early seasons. 

If you assumed that I was delighted to see Iroh has been tailing Zuko this whole time, you’d be correct. I had hoped that was the case and was very glad it was. Although *facepalm* again at Zuko. I suppose he had no way of knowing Katara had healing powers but it was so frustrating knowing if he had just listened to them for one minute they could have helped Iroh after Azula blasted him. At least he made him tea and nursed him back to health. 

If the evil advisor of Ba Sing Se had files on everyone and knew everything that went on… I mean… did he know about Iroh and Zuko? 

I didn’t jot down any notes about this at the time, BUT. Man. Did I ADORE Zuko and Iroh’s adventures in Ba Sing Se. I mean it was a nice relief from all the other crazy stuff happening. (Not happy to see Jet though. Ugh.) 

Finally, though, Zuko’s betrayal at the very end of the season totally shocked me. Because of spoilers, I knew he’d join Aang’s crew, and so it was so confusing! And such a regression, I really didn’t understand it and was very worried about what it would mean for his redemption arc — but more on that in the next post, don’t want to get ahead.

Azula

Oh. Boy. Again, I knew she was going to be crazy, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how messed up she is. “Do the tides command this ship. You said they would not allow us…” Jeez that is pedantic in a very bizarre way and obviously not what was meant… Yikes.

Also, Azula is much better at finding Zuko than Zuko is at finding Aang. Just a stray observation.

“Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” [insert IT’s A TRAP gif here]

“If the Earth Kingdom finds us, they'll have us killed. If the Fire Nation finds us, they'll turn us over to Azula. Earth kingdom it is.” Yeah, this line was hilarious but also sad. It really said a lot about Azula, and Zuko and Iroh’s relationship with her.

Had no idea Azula had her own crew. It was incredibly clear that Ty Lee felt coerced to join her and didn’t really want to, but that was less clear to me for Mai. Mainly seemed like Mai was bored with where she was and was just like “shrugs might as well do evil stuff.” 

I did know that a character named “Mai” would eventually be Zuko’s love interest (and it is pretty heavily portrayed that she has a crush on him), so at this point, I was very much like, “Hmm. This character is too apathetic and annoying, I don’t want her to end up with Zuko!” Plus, the fact that her name was pronounced “May,” (which was not how I thought “Mai” was pronounced) and I knew Zuko would have a thing with a lady in a tea shop, I wasn’t 100% sure Zuko/Mai were end game. 

“She’s crazy and she needs to go down.” I think Iroh said this. I just don’t know what to say. Why is Azula the way she is? That’s never entirely clear to me. In some ways, it’s implied she was just Like That (in the flashback where mom is like “What is wrong with you?”) and perhaps she’s just her father’s daughter. I don’t need a reason, per se. Idk. I just don’t know what to say to her. She clearly needs help. 

[faithhopedreamslove]

The 100 7x12 thoughts

I’m constantly amazed at how much The 100 manages to pack into one episode, which is why I have to rewatch each one at least once before I can gather my thoughts. It gives me hope, because even though we only have 4 episodes left, SO much can happen between now and then. 

Although not surprising, I hated seeing Sachin’s and the Children of Gabriel’s deaths. That essentially means the end of all Sanctumites. Despite Monty’s edict to do better, it seems Bellamy, Clarke, and crew have indirectly brought about the destruction of another society, albeit a dysfunctional one.

I can’t tell if Gabriel’s comment to Bellamy that he looks good in white was meant to be snarky, flirting, or hiding a deeper meaning. But it was unexpected, to say the least!

So Bellamy is testing Cadogan’s attachment to Anders. Does that mean he’s not fully brainwashed? Plus, he’s also bargaining for his friends’ lives. The old Bellamy is still in there somewhere.

The scene between Jordan and Hope was incredibly moving and sweet. These two really are the “odd ones out,” and it was nice to see that the writers acknowledged that and used that to forge a tentative bond between them. They are technically the next generation of the human race, along with Madi and the other kids.

The roommate pairings are so significant. In one room, Bellamy’s new family. In the other, his old family. I know Bellamy has known Raven from the beginning, but they truly became family on the Ring. The fact that Bellamy sent her off to M-Cap so easily was chilling. And I wish they had shown Raven in M-Cap - I hate how insignificant her character has become this season.

The scene between Bellamy and Echo was understated but powerful. Huge hats off to Tasya Teles for that scene - she acted brilliantly. Both of their voices were low, deep with emotion. This was a defining moment for Echo - until now, she has blindly followed her leaders. Queen Nia, Roan, and now Bellamy. And unknowingly, she has been working against the very people her leader and love, Bellamy, fully supports. So she is at a crossroads here. Her last question to him, “Is this thing you believe really that important? Is it more important than us?” is huge. And the “us” can be interpreted two ways - “us” as the entire group, or “us” as in Bellamy and Echo and their relationship. I think that’s why there’s such confusion as to whether they broke up when Bellamy answered “yes.” And the way Echo reacts is telling - she is struggling with herself. Should she follow her leader, Bellamy, as she’s always done, and support the Shepherd? Or does she finally break away and follow her own beliefs?

And in stark contrast, we have the Bellamy and Clarke scene. Where Bellamy and Echo were quiet, Bellamy and Clarke are passionate, fighting to get through to one another. Bellamy shared his life-altering experience in Etherea with them, which he didn’t with Echo. And when Clarke starts breaking apart, telling Bellamy she doesn’t even recognize him, he starts breaking too. He reminds her that he is the person who brought her back from the dead, who fought for her. Of all the things he could have reminded her of, I think it’s telling that this is what he chooses to try to reach her with. And my heart broke when Bellamy asked her to believe in him. He didn’t ask Echo to do the same - he basically told her what he believes, and that was that. He asked Clarke to believe in him because he NEEDS her to. When they are at odds with each other, neither one of them is whole. It’s only when they both believe in the same thing that they are complete, and Bellamy knows this, consciously or subconsciously.

It’s interesting, because I think this scene was meant to show us how Bellamy is NOT fully brainwashed. Yes, he believes in the final war and transcendence, but his first priority is still to save his friends, to save Clarke. The way he said “I am trying to save YOU,” to Clarke was so raw and full of emotion. This is the woman he just pulled from the brink of death mere months ago. He has had to grieve her death not once, but TWICE. He CANNOT go through that again. Bellamy is trying to work with his head and his heart. His heart wants to believe in Cadogan fully, but his head is coming up with a plan to save his friends, because his heart still loves Clarke and his friends - Cadogan doesn’t fully own it yet.

I know Clarke calling Bellamy her best friend has riled some people, but he IS her best friend. The foundation of the strongest love is friendship. And what else would she call him? She can’t say “the man I love is standing in front of me,” because she still believes he’s with Echo.

I am so, so happy to see Octavia and Clarke reconnecting with each other. These two have been together since the drop ship, and their relationship has gone through so many ups and downs. For Octavia to say that she finally understands Clarke is huge, because these two women have not always seen eye to eye on things. 

Octavia has also been observer #1 of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship. She has seen them love each other, fight with each other, fight FOR each other. It’s telling that she lets Clarke get in Bellamy’s face while she hangs back. Partly because O knows that she hasn’t yet fully mended her relationship with Bellamy the way Clarke has. But also because she knows that the only one who can get through to Bellamy is Clarke, and vice versa. I also love how she comforted Clarke when Bellamy refused to listen to them, and tried to fight when Bellamy sent her off to M-Cap. 

Doucette had grown on me in Etherea, but now he just seems creepy.

Bellamy can’t even stand to watch Clarke being tortured in M-Cap. Every time he looks at her, he has to look away. And when he can’t take it anymore, he tries to convince Cadogan that Clarke doesn’t know where the Flame is. So much for not lying to the Shepherd. He’ll absolutely do just that where Clarke is concerned. And Bellamy’s wince when Clarke finally agrees to help Cadogan after he threatens to send one of her friends to Penance - Bellamy knows Clarke, and he knows she will always sacrifice herself to save her friends. This is a HUGE parallel to CoL-Abby, who said to torture her friends to get Clarke to break. Abby was fully brainwashed, and knew that the quickest way to get to Clarke is to threaten her friends. Bellamy also knows this, but he did not offer that knowledge up to Cadogan. Again, I think we’re seeing signs that Bellamy is not fully brainwashed. And the way he looked at Cadogan when he said “she knows, or she wouldn’t be fighting,” had a hint of disgust - Bellamy does not want to follow a Shepherd who tortures people to get what he wants. The cracks are starting to deepen in Bellamy’s brainwashing here.

My two cents on “It didn’t have to be this way.” “Yes it did.” - I think Bellamy was honestly trying to save his friends with the least amount of damage caused. In his mind, Clarke tells them where the Flame is, they give it to Cadogan, his friends are safe, and they all transcend. Clarke’s response is more cryptic. I interpreted her “Yes, it did,” to mean that she wanted Bellamy to witness her torture so that he can realize that Cadogan is a monster. She knows this is the only way to get through to him. Clarke is trying to save Bellamy, just as much as he is trying to save her. This is a direct parallel to season 6. Bellamy fought to save Clarke from Josephine, who was controlling her mind. Clarke is fighting to save Bellamy from Cadogan, who is controlling his mind.

I’m so over Shidheida. He can take his OTT outfit, OTT throne, and get the hell out of here.

I LOVE Murphy and Emori this episode. My love for them has steadily been growing, and I especially love how protective they are of Madi. I’m wondering if this is setting them up to become Madi’s parents when Clarke and Bellamy go off to take the final test and perhaps have their Marperly ever after ending. I would be sad for Madi to lose Clarke, but I’m glad of the relationship she’s developing with Murphy and Emori. Plus, if this theory is correct, that means that Murphy would actually live!

Miller is so freaking underutilized this season, and it breaks my heart. He’s one of the original 100. His scene with Bellamy was cut this episode, and I was really looking forward to it. Bellamy trusted Miller before he trusted most others, and they go way back. With so few episodes left, it was a huge missed opportunity to acknowledge their bond. It’s telling that he looked to Clarke for confirmation as to whether she’s good with what’s happening. Clearly, he has lost faith in Bellamy for now.

From a narrative standpoint, Echo and Bellamy are now separated until we don’t know what episode. Whether Bellarke becomes canon or not, clearly the writers did not feel it was important to keep Becho together this close to the end of the story, yet they kept Bellarke together and on the same planet. Where this leads, we shall see.

Murphy’s little smirk when he sees Clarke is everything. That was a total cockroach moment. It’s also indicative of how much respect and affection Murphy has for Clarke. He missed her, and he knows she’ll find a way to fix the mess they’re in, like she always does. Clarke’s reaction “What the hell happened here?” was writing gold. I don’t care if they moved the stone into the castle just for this scene - it was a great way to end the episode!

Wow, this got way longer than I expected. If you read it all the way through, thank you! Please share your thoughts!