#which is kind of the whole point (for me at least) of engaging with characters and their relationships | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lucabyte · 9 months ago

Note

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

#oh my god this is like 6k words what happened. well you can't say my claims are unsubstantiated i guess.#lucabytetalks #fuck dude i sure do !!!!#i have to assume a lot of other people picked up on exactly what i did too but i dont read other peoples meta very often so !!#i am simply shaking hands with anyone else who came to this conclusion. hi. sometimes its just fun to construct a small essay i guess #i have like no goal putting this out here other than like. For The Sport of Writing Out Media Analysis. so if it makes anything click #in peoples minds or actually sells them on this reading then that's just a bonus i suppose #in stars and time #isat analysis #isat meta #isat siffrin #isat loop #isat spoilers #2hats spoilers #lucabytewrites #welp. no idea what else to tag this. be free and into the wild my gigantic ass post.#is some of this redundant? probably! but cmon man its a tumblr essay i can't format it perfectly. sometimes points get repeated #anyway this post is lagging out my tumblr drafts now i have to post it oh god oh christ i hope nothing goes wrong #edit: i forgot i made the lucabytewrites tag a while back for purrgatorio this can go in there too

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pocketsizedquasar-3 · 2 months ago

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[ID: 6 panels of a digitally drawn comic showing Daggoo doing twist-outs into Pip’s hair. Pip looks a little nervous through the process, with a warm & encouraging Daggoo, and by the end of it he looks at his reflection with surprised joy. More detailed IDs for each panel in alt.]

i finally finished what i was working on for @creatingblackcharacters’ Black History Month Challenge!

so for those who don’t know, for a few years now i’ve been working on adapting Moby Dick into a webcomic. as you might imagine, a text written by a white man in 1851 is oftentimes Very Racist with how it treats its characters of color, and this very much includes its Black characters, of which there are two of note in the cast, Daggoo and Pip. there are parts of the original text in which Melville tries (and even sometimes doesn’t completely fail) to say poignant things or critiques about racism in the text (and much of the text does very explicitly and intentionally deal w/ racism and racialized dynamics, something literally 99% of adaptations ignore), but for the most part, his nonwhite characters are flat, stereotypical, often violent, racist caricatures.

and i won’t get too much into that here (god knows i’ve rambled at LENGTH abt all of this many times & i will many more), because the point of this challenge is to share art about Black joy, but suffice to say that! I am doing my best to intentionally engage with the race & racism of the original text, whether it’s for characters of my own racial identity that Melville bastardizes (like Fedallah), or those of others (like his Black characters, Daggoo and Pip, and his Indigenous characters, and so on). It’s important to me not only to be in conversation with and to challenge Melville’s racism in my work, but also to allow these characters to be more than the one note racist stereotypes Melville writes them as.

So!!! that’s some long winded context, but here’s Daggoo doing Pip’s hair for him and showing him how! I’m extremely fond of Pip getting to be loved and cared for by others of the crew, especially the harpooners (of whom Dag is one). i just think Pip deserves his comically large number of dads who will care for him and make him feel safe and shelter him from the absolute Horror that is 19th century American Whaling (and the Horror that is their white crewmates!). i just think this little Black boy deserves love and joy 😭😭 and i think Daggoo deserves to be a soft, gentle caregiver who can give that to him.

I have lots more thoughts about this and about them and about their hair which i may expand on under a cut or in the tags, but because this is already getting so long!:

to my Black viewers, and my Black readers, you belong in classic literature spaces! you deserve to see yourselves represented thoughtfully and carefully in the ‘canon’ of literature, and to challenge when you aren’t, and be supported in your critiques! your contributions to both literature as a whole (whether “classic” or otherwise) and to literary analysis and critique are invaluable and irreplaceable, both when you discuss the racism in these works and spaces and when you engage in any other kind of analysis or creation. And I want you to be able to enjoy stories of all kinds without people brushing aside your existence or pretending your concerns are invalid or don’t matter because ~it’s a great classic!~ or ~it was a different time.~ your voices and your creations and your art matter.

& on the smallest scale, i hope at least to bring you a little bit of joy.

I'm tagging some of my art friends! I know the lateness of this in the month means it’ll be hard for anyone to probably do anything of their own for the challenge, but hopefully y’all can still check out & support all the lovely art that’s already been made for this!! @coulson-is-an-avenger @fricklefracklefloof @layalu @brainwormterrarium @seaflying-fliptuna @rootscorrode @holocephal1 and anyone else who wants to!!

& thank you to Ice for making this wonderful challenge, and thank you for all the lovely, incredible work you do on @creatingblackcharacters. truly a blessing to this world 💖💖

anyway, some more notes, because i can’t help rambling:

i referenced a lot of images & videos of people doing twist outs for this but i wanna shout out the video i watched and rewatched and paused and zoomed in on the Most; it’s by kbmaria on YouTube and called “Twist Out on Short TWA 4C Hair | Big Chop Hairstyles”!! def go check her out :]

i loved looking up 1800s hair combs (and afro picks, though it seems they were all just called ‘combs’) & 1800s sleep bonnets for this! the details of the bonnets kind of got lost in simplification (they really do just look like modern ones but with more lace!) but drawing them and the comb was still fun. i also was looking up specifically a lot of Black hair care history and there is some really cool stuff about the original invention and spread of the hot comb (used for straightening hair) and Black people’s role in that (there’s again more i could get into but i won’t right now but do look it up if you’re interested! the library of congress has a good presentation article with sources about Black hair care history. much of it is later the timeline that’s relevant to these characters in particular, but still very interesting!)

i always defaulted to giving Daggoo an Afro when i designed him (mainly because he’s described with one in the book). over recent years, i’ve definitely thought more about this decision and about whether/how to incorporate different hairstyles into representing him. whaling is a…unique situation—long, long stretches of time (we’re talking months) of extreme lethargy with no tasks to do punctuated by unpredictable short bursts (days to weeks at a time) of incredibly high intensity, life threatening, and laborious work. it leaves lots of time to do more complicated, time-intensive hairstyles (which his hair definitely could benefit from in an environment where he’s getting very sweaty, sea-salty, and wet frequently!), but any of that time could be interrupted at any moment; it’s impossible to Plan for when the whale hunts happen and put your hair in a more protective style ahead of time. i don’t really have a specific answer to this yet, but it’s smthn i’m thinking about a lot and researching a lot! visual historical references we have (that i’ve seen at least) of Black sailors of this time tend to have their hair natural and short-cropped (which is how Pip keeps his), but i def want to draw more hairstyles on Dag at different points.

in any case, i do love the idea of him doing Pip’s hair for him (even if the style will be Very temporary due to the nature of their work — he’ll probably get wet very soon 😔) and showing him how to do different ones. starting with something maybe a little easier to do (like this twist out) and maybe showing more complex ones as time goes on.

as far as hair moisturizers go, ive also done a good amount of reading over the years of what kinds of hair moisturizers were available at diff time periods (did you know lots of victorian women used egg washes in their hair to keep it moisturized? i didn’t). i like to think that Dag keeps his own personal stash of natural oil of some kind — he may have access to coconut oil/cedarwood oil/smthn like that. and if he’s ever in a pinch, apparently whale oil is a fine hair moisturizer! and was even used in cosmetics in the 20th century! so hey. got plenty of that around lmao

i think that’s all i have to say for now lmao. thank you again Ice for making this challenge 💖💖

#cbc bhm challenge #black history month #daggoo #pip #mobydick #moby dick #herman melville #melville #art #my art #quasartalks #anwyay in case the me rambling for 482948293 years wasn’t clear: i care themmmm 😭 theyre so dear to me

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fushiglow · 4 months ago

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10 things I've learned about being a fanfic author over the last year

At the time of writing this post, I have been writing and sharing fanfiction for Jujutsu Kaisen for almost two years. This time last year, my in-progress longfic, Over the Threshold, started to gain popularity and, over the last twelve months, I think it's fair to say I have become somewhat of a BNF in the SatoSugu community... Sigh...

While every creative wants their work to be seen, there is a threshold (ha) past which visibility brings difficulties, and unfortunately I went over it (ha) in recent months. It has changed my fandom experience significantly, and not entirely for the better. While there have been friendships for life forged, beautiful memories I'll carry with me for the rest of my life, and more kind words and fanart than I can shake a stick at, there have also been opportunists, naysayers, and even outright bullies.

Seeing your name thrown around in fandom spaces with little regard for the real person behind the writing — for your character, for your circumstances, for your creative liberty — does force you to re-evaluate your relationship with your work and your audience. With that in mind, I thought I'd share the lessons I've taken from the last year as a fanfic author.

I really hope this serves as advice for any fanfic authors seeking more visibility on their work, and also generally encourages more thoughtful engagement with fandom creators. Let's go!

1. Writing for anyone except yourself is still a bad idea

That doesn't mean it isn't sometimes worth taking reader preferences into account. It's just about knowing when to disregard them. We write fanfiction for lots of different reasons that vary from fic to fic. Sometimes, making other people happy is a good enough reason to write a fic, as long as that's what you set out to do and you're under no illusions about that.

However, letting reader expectations creep into your approach to your other work in a way that doesn't serve your personal creative vision is a bad idea, especially because...

2. People disrespect fanfic authors even more than you thought

There are plenty of kind, supportive people in fandom. However, the unfortunate truth is they are vastly outnumbered by people who will gobble up your work without even taking a moment to say thank you for the meal and who will, in fact, demand more from you instead.

Trying to please entitled people who are impossible to satisfy, who bring nothing of value to your fandom experience, and who may even resort to bullying if you don't play by their ever changing rulebook is a pointless endeavour — so don't bother!

3. Your writing process is a constant work in progress

Because you are a constant work in progress. You can't always expect something that worked for you a year ago to work the same now. There are too many variables in play, not least your skill as a writer. If the stabilisers you put on last year are no longer helping, maybe it's a sign you don't need them anymore. Maybe it's time to take them off and try something new.

I am still planning a more in depth writing process post, but the simple truth is, my writing process can be summed up as...

4. Whatever works!

My main piece of advice when it comes to writing is always going to be, "at some point, you've just got to do it". Sure, there are tools and techniques you can use to aid the process, but ultimately it always comes down to you and the words.

There's no right or wrong way to write, and there's no point comparing your process to someone else's, because ultimately you'll do whatever works for you. Whether you're someone who religiously practises a warm-up routine before sitting down to write or someone who stares at the screen for two months straight before vomiting up a masterpiece whole (or someone like me who jumbles their way through with a slightly different approach every time), it's all good as long as it ends with words on paper.

5. Writing for an audience changes the game

For better and for worse! Having an engaged readership on a WIP has, on occasion, created unique and invaluable opportunities to elevate my work beyond what would have been possible by myself. I'm very grateful for the artist-audience dialogue that I know we all crave when sharing our work with the world but aren't always fortunate enough to experience.

However, being aware of your audience while writing also influences your approach in unhelpful ways, no matter how much you try to get around it. Ensuring that I maintain control of that dialogue (or, at the very least, a 50/50 back and forth) requires constant vigilance.

6. Community is a double edged sword

I think everyone in fandom is seeking community of one kind or another. Building a dedicated community around my writing and seeing real good come of it was an unexpected by-product of sharing my fic with the world, but a deeply rewarding one. However, communities aren't static and they require a collaborative effort to maintain.

Series come to an end, fandom trends shift, people move on. On the flipside, you build something so wonderful that others want to share in its benefits without contributing in meaningful ways. Seeing a community so closely tied to your work and your sense of self shift into something unrecognisable until you start to feel like a stranger in your own space is very hard. Furthermore, managing a community in a dedicated forum takes significant time and energy which could be spent writing, which is why...

7. The most successful fanfic authors are selfish

What I mean by "successful" is up to you. However, whether it's replying to comments, supporting fellow creatives in the fandom, or even tagging work for discoverability, some authors disregard anything that prevents them from getting words onto the page. Some people are here to post their shit and leave — and more power to them.

The more of yourself you offer, the more people come to expect until, eventually, the already generous act of writing thousands of words for your fandom becomes the bare minimum. This is often where the topic of "fandom etiquette" comes up, but fanfic authors are already taking on a disproportionate share of the burden simply by sharing their work in the first place. Anything beyond that is a courtesy we are not obligated to extend. We should thank authors who thoughtfully choose to extend those courtesies anyway, rather than vilifying them when they don't.

8. Guarding your enjoyment is paramount

If, like me, you're an author who does enjoy being an active member of the fandom community, then it's important to watch out for the myriad of things that can come between you and your stories. Fandom politics, or even just fandom trends, can have a huge influence on your relationship with the characters that originally inspired you.

However, what other people are doing with them doesn't need to have any bearing on what you choose to do with them if you don't want it to. Responding to fandom trends in your writing can be satisfying, but maintaining a degree of separation between wider fandom and the stories that really matter to you is crucial, I think. That being said...

9. Collaboration feeds creativity

Some beautiful moments have been born from throwing an idea back and forth with my fellow fans. Simple things can rapidly snowball into territory you would never usually set foot in, and expanding your creative horizons like that can only ever be a good thing! Being open with your ideas in fandom spaces is always a bit of a worry, but the reward for extending that trust far outweighs the risk in my experience.

Additionally, I think we get caught up in the idea of absolute originality, but if you're active in fandom, you're always taking inspiration from your fellow creatives. Freely crediting the people who have inspired me has only ever brought wonderful things my way, and I've even gone on to develop collaborative relationships with some of them. Fandom is more fun with other people!

10. But ultimately, writing is lonely work

No matter how many friendships you forge, you still have to retreat into solitude to write the damn story eventually. Writing doesn't lend itself to active human connection as much as art or music. You can chat to someone while drawing or play an instrument alongside another person, but when you're writing, you have to go it alone.

And the worst part? Even when you eventually share your story with the world, no one will ever care about it as much as you do. Writing is such a deeply lonely experience most of the time, I think — which is why it's so important to hold onto all the things that make it worthwhile.

And that's that! I have been stewing on all of these thoughts privately, but I wanted to share them in case they're of value to someone. I tried to keep it as measured as possible, but I acknowledge that I'm in a bit of a bitter headspace about fandom in light of the Discourse TM and subsequent harassment over Christmas.

I don't think it will stop me writing stories for this fandom, but I do think it will make me more guarded in my interactions with the wider community, and I think that's a shame. I joined this fandom as a fan first and a creator second, and I'm deeply sad to feel like some of the parts I used to enjoy most are no longer accessible to me.

This experience has certainly got me thinking more critically about the trend of fandom creators seemingly becoming more distant as they gain popularity. The word "arrogant" is often thrown around, but I think it's much more likely that taking a less active role in fandom spaces isn't as much a choice as it is a necessary measure for the sake of wellbeing and even safety.

Fascinating in a sort of sick way.

#writing #fandom #fandom etiquette #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #long post

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notannascribbles · 7 months ago

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to preface: i AM IN FACT aware that kind people with good intentions can make bad choices, and that those choices don’t define them. especially fourteen year old people under intense, unfathomable levels of stress. i do not think marinette is a “bad” person, and i don’t “blame” her for choosing to lie to adrien. it makes sense for her character to do that. it’s very easy for us to sympathize with her in this situation.

that being said, i do believe that what she chose to do in the season 5 finale is unforgivable (by adrien). and i think that must be where i diverge from a lot of other viewers. i assume that the viewers who are engaging with this plotline with excitement and interest as a complicated new development must still envision a scenario where this gets resolved and adrien and marinette get together, right?? i think that has to be the point of disconnection here. that’s where i can’t follow. i can’t envision a resolution anymore. i think that what marinette has done to adrien is too bad—i don’t see us coming back from this one.

and it’s not even that i don’t think adrien will forgive her. i think that if the truth does come out, he probably will say he forgives her and will do whatever he can to keep marinette (and all the others who lied to him) in his life. i think his love for marinette and his fear of being alone will outweigh everything else. it’s just that that scenario doesn’t resolve the conflict, at least to me. it really just perpetuates the cycle of abuse that started with adrien’s parents.

adrien’s whole story has always been oriented around being trapped/breaking free. adrien is constantly struggling against threats to his agency—whether that’s being physically trapped, being lied to about his own life, being stuck in cycles of emotional abuse—and his response, when he is able, is to break free. adrien wants out of that house. he wants out of the abuse. he wants to be in charge of his own life. the first time we ever see adrien, he is running away.

we cheer when he destroys the prison bars. we cheer when he breaks free. the natural conclusion of adrien’s arc was always pointing toward him finally breaking free from the traumatic cycle of abuse that his father kept him in—a triumph that was perfectly set up to span both his superhero and civilian identities. there’s a reason why no one in the fandom ever envisioned a realistic scenario where chat noir was completely absent from the hawkmoth takedown. it’s because the story was never, ever pointed in that direction. it always made the most sense for adrien to be there, because actively breaking free from his father’s control was the only feasible resolution for adrien’s story.

but the writers had different priorities when crafting this plotline, and now adrien’s arc will never have the opportunity to be resolved like that. instead, now marinette is being used as an extended instrument of gabriel’s abuse, which means that now adrien will never be able to break free from this cycle until he breaks free from marinette. it’s not about intentions or “blame” or whether or not that’s what marinette deserves. it’s literally just about how adrien’s arc at this point could possibly be resolved.

if adrien forgives marinette (as i’m confident he will), their relationship at that point no longer feels like the light at the end of adrien’s tunnel. it just feels like an extension of the cycle adrien was already trapped in, where the people he loves violate his autonomy out of a warped sense of protection, and then he forgives them because he is terrified of being left alone. being with marinette no longer offers the prospect of a fresh new start after a lifetime of abuse. it’s always going to be tainted now, because she chose to use her power to perpetuate gabriel’s control over adrien’s life. she’s tied herself into the cycle now, on gabriel’s side. marinette’s actions are understandable and sympathetic, but they still have consequences. this is the story now.

it’s possible that the show will surprise me—it often does—and they will find a way to resolve adrien’s arc in a way that feels satisfying to me. i’m just not really banking on it. i think the writers’ priorities are elsewhere, which is fine. they can write the story they want to write. it’s just disappointing, as someone who has found adrien’s arc to be incredibly compelling. it’s also just soured the lovesquare for me now—i don’t like seeing adrien and marinette together anymore, which is disorienting and sad.

for what it’s worth, i do hope i’m wrong! i hope it does all get resolved, and i hope i love this story again. it was really really fun to love this story. i love adrien and marinette a whole lot.

#don’t worry i’ll still watch the show #and i’m sure i’ll still make art and comics about it #no need to worry about my content production lol #i’m just venting. just talking in a corner by myself

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linktotheheart · 1 year ago

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I feel like so many people misunderstand BOTW/TOTK Link especially (Zelda too, but that's another topic entirely)

His lack of expressiveness IS a personality trait. It's a direct result of the pressure on his soldiers to be a perfect soldier, hero, and savior. No, he's not Skyward Sword Link, and never will be, because his story is completely different.

"But [other Link] hugged Zelda when he got her back!" and this Link maintained a respectful distance as his princess's subordinate - but ALSO out of respect for Zelda as a person, because she spent her whole childhood having her agency denied and he wants to let her initiate even something as simple as platonic contact whenever possible. He's being kind!

(And yes, I know that primarily only the "he is a knight and she is a princess" part is directly supported in the actual game, but I'll remind the people making comparisons that the dynamic was COMPLETELY different in their favorite comparison game, Skyward Sword. But also... look at the gentleness with which Link interacts with Zelda, the tenderness that he shows so few other characters - Mipha probably being the closest example. Look at the way he looks to her first to see what to do in every scene they're in together, unless he's protecting her from an immediate threat to her life. Notice how outside of that, Zelda IS usually the one to initiate any physical contact)

I also personally hate it when people describe quiet, not very expressive people as "lacking personality" because... my partner IRL is like that. If she expressed herself at all around most people, it's in a very flat, reserved way. I've seen how it hurts her that people treat her like she doesn't have a personality, like she isn't even a full person - and I know that's real life and Zelda is fiction, but come on, do you think all the people that aren't highly expressive and extroverted don't hear that about very popular characters and internalize it?

Being reserved is a personality trait. Being cautious and not impulsive is a personality trait. In fact, I'd even say just because you as an expressive, extroverted person see Link as a blank slate to project your own personality onto, doesn't mean he actually is or was even intended that way.

(I also think this is a very US-centric point of view, honestly. There's plenty of cultures where even BOTW Link would be considered at least close to average - Finnish culture specifically comes to mind, even if he's still slightly exaggerated in that regard as, y'know, a character.)

Idk, this is as much a silly little vent post as anything, it's not that serious, etc, but whatever

(and don't get me started on "oh Zelda got no agency in TOTK and she learned the powers she was struggling overnight". No, it's called a time skip, and just because she learned her powers before the 13th hour this time - which yeah, she would get them easier this time with a mentor who could actually use the same powers, and having already learned to use her light powers - doesn't mean it just "happened overnight". And... she didn't express agency? She was actively influencing the entire flow of the timeline, changing the actions of her ancestors by convincing her ancestors to act, learning to control her powers and fighting Ganondorf, and finally expressing the ultimate form of autonomy in choosing to sacrifice herself to save the world. Some of the criticisms of TOTK didn't even seem to play the same game. Just because a heroine isn't a pop feminist badass who *gasp* wears pants and easily and perfectly kicks every villain's ass, doesn't mean she "has no agency" and is being sidelined. Like, a princess engaging in courtly politics is neither powerless nor "doing nothing")

#totk #botw #tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #link #zelda #I'm a multishipper so I can see Zelda and Link as romantic or platonic tbh #vent post #I mean you can reblog but like #even if you disagree don't be an asshole about it #botw/totk haters tho just like. don't. criticism is fine but I'm not interested in debating w/ppl who don't bother to engage in good faith

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ecoterrorist-katara · 7 months ago

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I really liked your meta about bloodbending, this is a big ask but how do you think that the whole bloodbending storyline could/should be rewritten? It’s clear that the writers are using bloodbending as a metaphor for slavery but it rarely comes across that way, and poor Hama was failed spectacularly by the writing

hello anon! thank you for this fabulous question & hope you don't mind that it took me ages to get to it.

TL;DR: I think making Hama into a serial killer/abductor was a terrible narrative choice. If it were up to me, Katara would have a (child-friendly) ethics discussion about bloodbending with Hama, who then joins them on the Day of the Black Sun. After the war, bloodbending becomes a lynchpin issue when the North attempts to colonize the South, but Hama and Yugoda find healing uses for bloodbending in the kerfuffle.

But first, my "ATLA bungled colonialism themes" soapbox: to me, bloodbending is a metaphor on two levels. The storyline about how Southern Waterbenders are captured and then transported to the FN certainly seems to reference the Transatlantic Slave Trade, like you said, though without the labour exploitation aspect; the storyline about Hama and bloodbending feels like an allegory for guerrilla resistance in general. Imo the narrative kind of cheapened these potential real-world connections by making The Puppetmaster a spooky Halloween special with a dash of “an eye for an eye” parable. The narrative's treatment of bloodbending, and Hama, feels like an unintentional reflection of “unacceptable” colonial resistance and "dark" knowledge of the colonized (fearmongering around Vodou etc). A common colonial narrative is that the colonized are sinister and underhanded for engaging in things like guerrilla warfare, which is either too violent or too cowardly depending on what’s more convenient for the colonizers’ narrative at a specific point in time. I think ATLA’s approach to bloodbending reflects this general sentiment, especially since Hama is drawn as this creepy Hansel & Gretel-style witch, a keeper of a sinister / untrustworthy / threatening type of knowledge. I also really don't like the part of the story where Hama became a serial abductor out of this indiscriminate thirst for revenge. While it's possible in real life for a colonized, incarcerated person to make those decisions, and good fiction can explore that effectively, a children's show is not the place. ATLA's target audience and general tone couldn't handle all the complexities around that, so they turned Hama into a cartoon witchy villain. Groundbreaking.

Anyway, I think the start of The Puppetmaster is actually very promising. Hama's story, and the children's discovery of her SWT roots, was touching. Katara's growing sense of unease at discovering the "darker" uses of waterbending (taking water out of flowers) is interesting. Katara is the perfect character to explore the intricacies of "how far is too far in colonial resistance." Because she's not a pacifist, like Aang, but she's also not a total pragmatist, like Sokka or Suki, and she cares about the fates of random people more than Toph. She's angry and compassionate in equal amounts.

I would love a conversation between Hama and Katara about bloodbending -- not in the dead of night while Katara has to protect her friends, but where Hama talks about the genuine hopelessness she felt in the Fire Nation prison. And Katara could talk about why she thinks bloodbending is wrong -- taking away someone's agency -- and Hama can ask Katara what she would've done in that scenario; maybe she can point out that she could have made the FN guards kill each other, but she only made them open her cell door, so it was the least violent escape she could have done; and I think, framed that way, Katara would have started to see bloodbending not through a lens of fear and disgust, but sheer pragmatism, and realize that all bending can be good or bad.

During the war, I think Katara and Sokka could convince Hama to join them on the Day of the Black Sun: Hama, for the first time in decades, has hope, and she gets to see some of the people who used to be just little kids when she was kidnapped from her home.

After the war, bloodbending would become a hot button issue in North-South relations. I could easily see the Northern waterbenders being horrified at bloodbending, in the same way Medieval Europe & puritan America have been horrified by witchcraft and other feminine-coded knowledge. I could envision the Northerners using bloodbending as justification for why women shouldn't be allowed to waterbend, and justification for why the South is backwards and therefore needs the North's influence (which would also tie nicely into the North and South comic). While Katara is busy with the political BS, Hama is swapping notes with Yugoda the healing master, and then they would eventually arrive at the conclusion that bloodbending could be used to heal.

(I can't take credit for the "Northerners horrified at bloodbending" idea, btw -- colourwhirled's Southern Lights has a storyline around it.)

Anyway, Hama deserved so much better. I like seeing her in AUs where she never had that stupid "kidnapping FN civilians" plot, like the aforementioned Southern Lights, or Lykegenia's The Things We Hide (which I read earlier this year and loved!). Hama and Jet's storylines are why I don’t trust ATLA’s politics, nor the politics of its creators. As much as I love Zuko and find his redemption arc to be an incredible story of a conscientious objector in the heart of the empire, Hama and Jet should have also gotten their redemptions too.

#hama deserved better #atla discourse #anti bryke #the puppetmaster #hama #katara #can i ask you a question?#my meta

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midnight-weird-thoughts · 3 months ago

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I know it has been nearly a year since the whole thing about Toichi being alive, and I am sorry if anyone said this before let me know and I can delete this, I was just taking a break to engage with the real world, but after rewatching some episodes I decided the only way I will accept this concept, is if they make him the Big Bad. The guy in charge of the Black Organization, as far as I know, is called Renya Karasuma. The earliest I can remember the name being dropped was in the Sunset Manor case with the mansion made out of solid gold. I remembered it because KID disguised as Kogoro. But the point it, he was there. I don't remember if we were told why he was there or on what information was he basing his infiltration on, but it's kinda ""coincidental"" that KID often appears when The Boss is discussed or alluded to in the episodes. This wasn't the only occasion. It is actually kind of a recurrence. Also, we know that Karasuma is in his hundreds at least, and Vermouth's age is unknown either, but she is older than Jody who is in her late-ish twenties (based on how long would it have taken her to become an FBI agent). The apotoxin is an interesting project to be having in a criminal organization even if you spin it as a fluke in a poison-making process, it is still a weird side-effect to have.

A pill that de-ages and seems to have no other adverse effect on the person. Not even mental capacity loss to the level a child's brain would have. And then we have an immortality giving gem also being sought after. And the world does have real magic, as we see with Akako. It is not just supersticion.

Toichi was also suspiciously on time to somehow save Chikage from those men who tried to blackmail her into stealing something. We are told he became a thief for her, which is an interesting impulse from a — presumably until then — law-abiding magician. Plus the skills he had to escape armed members of the organization...

And it is theorized that Chikage was the one to teach him disguise. He somehow came to teach Yukiko and Vermouth and passed on those skills further. How did this arregnement take place? Did he advertize he wanted students? Is that things world-famous magicians do? Doesn't it usually happen by specific tutelage? Wouldn't Yukiko had to have thought him out herself? Where did Sharon come from in that equasion then? Also, in which country did it happen? Did Yukiko move to America? Was Sharon on "vacation" in Japan? Did they track to an unrelated country where Toichi was in that time period just to learn from him?

If Toichi was really helping his wife by redirecting focus to himself, how did he not notice that Vermouth was shady? He was after an organization of people, reportedly. His new student was shady. Both were big name career criminals. Neither of them were careless people. Yukiko was a civilian, it makes sense she didn't know. But these two? On an unrelated note, Vermouth was said to be the Big Boss' favorite.

Also, a little etymology. As we all know anime characters names are all just horrible puns. But this time it is actually pretty funny the kind of coincidences you see. Kaito we all know is a pun on "thief" in Japanese. But it is not just him in that family. Toichi spells his given name like this 盗一 . 盗 means "steal, rob, pilfer" according to a dictionary, and 一 means either "one" as in a numerical or "best in".

A funny name for an internationally wanted thief. A pun from the author, but in-world a funny name to chose for your child. My friend and I actually used to joke that there were an entire dynasty of thieves in the Kuroba family and they just liked to make it subtly obvious.

But that is not the only thing. Kuroba is spelt like this 黒羽, where 黒 means "black" and 羽 means "feathers". Funny when the Big Bad's name is Renya Karasuma. Where Karasuma is spelt like 烏丸 where 烏 means "crow, raven" and 丸 means "circle". And Renya is spelt like 蓮耶 where 蓮 means "lotus" and 耶 means "questioning, question mark, interrogative". The question mark is KID's symbol in the ironic "?" "!" exchange that Toichi and Yusaku came up with. Chikage, for the record, is spelt like this 千影 where 千 means "thousand" and 影 means "shadow, silhouette, phantom", but that is neither here nor there. It could be her real given name or she could have changed her name, because what are the odds that the two best thieves in the world come from the same country and happen to be in the same part of a huge city at the same time? (Half-French Kaito, my beloved, but this isn't about that.) If she did change it, it is also a play on the organization. If she didn't her parents maybe wanted an actor and got a thief. Cursed by a name and all. I know this is all over the place, and I am grasping at straws and probably sound like a conspiracy theorist, but that reveal really destroyed me. The Kaitou Corbeau episode was a betrayal, and I can't even think of what Kaito's mental state was like then under the Poker Face. I saw fics where it was actually Chikage who dressed up like that which, coming from a mother, I would consider a form of psychological torture even playing with your child's trauma like that. So if Toichi does wind up being alive, I hope for nothing less than him being the Main Antagonist of the entire series. I know this is unlikely to happen, given how Karasuma's silhouette was drawn as an old man's and Gosho has proven to not be able to write healthy relationships of any kind (from Kogoro and his hitting of Conan and his alcoholic womanizing tendencies to the abandonment of parents being played as a quirk to the jealousy and dysfunctionality between Shinichi and Ran and other couples being shown as "cute" and many other instances), he will probably have Kaito forgive both Toichi and Chikage, but damn... But well, the Kurobas have proven to be masters of disguise and Vermouth doesn't seem to age, so there's that

#kaito kuroba #kuroba toichi #karasuma renya #black organization #dcmk #fan theory #I can't believe he made Toichi be alive #if he isn't the big bad at the end of this I am flying to Japan #but there's fic I suppose #on the topic of the Sunset Manor he might have been there because he found something in the recordings Toichi left and went to check it out #but don't quote me on that #speaking of #that damn room #Jii said Toichi swore him to secrecy regarding his career as KID #so Jii would never tell Kaito #but there is a whole as room that was timed to open #in Kaito's damn room #when Kaito reached 16 #with recording specifically made for Kaito #to guide him through the life of a thief #and to find pandora #and I don't think Kaito is the type to move into his dad's old office after said beloved dad died #Toichi must have made that room when they only just bought the house #when Kaito was presumably a toddler if that #what even #And of course not to forget how he was groomed from childhood to conceal his emotions #Poker Face is a very unhealthy life phylosophy when you think about it #I want a fic now #Anyway I will stop talking now

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vigilskeep · 6 months ago

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avoiding most reviews like crazy for fear of spoilers, however I’m scared that some have said that rook can do no wrong even when picking the most aggressive impolite options, there’s never any social consequences for *choosing* to be rude, or even dismissing others worldviews and beliefs.

i will say a lot about inquisition, but at least it let the player have complicated relationships with the party by not having everyone agree to everything they say as the word of god

us getting to have complicated relationships with the party in dragon age inquisition is, frankly, news to me

personally i’ve seen more of people suggesting you can’t be as rude in the first place, than people saying the game doesn’t react when you are? to which i have to say, yes, interactions with the party are going to be different in veilguard than in previous dragon age games. they’re writing a protagonist who the plot requires to be more of a hero type who chose to join this venture, every party member is essential to the main plot, and they’re openly going for a “found family” dynamic, which (i would strongly argue) they’ve never done before. the group is intended to work as a whole, to be people who all care about each other, rather than simply being tied together by your player character. you’re not going to have a situation like in every other game where companions can get thrown out or betrayed or aggressively belittled by the protagonist, because this party simply would not work if you were doing that to certain members. the story they are telling this time would not make sense

however, i’m yet to see that that means we can’t have complicated relationships with the companions? in fact, we know it allows for main plot choices with lasting, drastic consequences on our relationships with certain companions. we know you can disagree with characters and still progress your relationships with them. there are new opportunities that we never had in previous games for all companions to be closely involved in what’s going on, and thus for all companions to have opinions that matter on all of rook’s decisions. i’ve already seen footage of companion commentary absolutely not holding back on challenging even relatively small choices

i think challenges from this style of companion can be very compelling in their own way. if all these companions are considered equally good-aligned by the narrative and care about each other, and they still sharply disagree, it suggests fewer conflicts with simple right answers. i think that could be a breath of fresh air from previous dragon age games which have often and regularly fallen into the trap of “obvious good answer” and “the answer your slightly evil companions will like”. there’s a reason so many worldstate decisions and quest endings are overwhelmingly popular, right? isn’t it possible it will be just as interesting to engage with a story where you are definitively written as good-aligned, but that means you get real choices between options just as justifiable as each other—or as bad as each other?

it’s a change so it’s by nature not going to be for everyone. you’re not going to be able to play certain kinds of character that you could in previous games and if that’s what you were looking for in another da game, that’s a disappointment. but i don’t think dragon age should necessarily be restricted by that forever? like i don’t think it’s necessarily conducive to good storytelling to always have to input evil/mean options and reactivity just for the sake of it. and i completely understand why it would be detrimental to the game they’ve chosen to make this time. their primary selling point and concept is the complex team dynamics. can you imagine the sheer bulk of writing it would take to have these companions as thoroughly invested in each other’s lives as they seem to be, and let you be horrible to particular ones? for how many players’ benefit? for what story coherency, when building these relationships is the plot of the game? i don’t really see the point

that’s how i feel about it idk. i’m optimistic. i also don’t rlly think jumping to conclusions at this point is worthwhile. the reviews are largely positive. it’s coming out in a day and a half. let’s just wait and see?

#sleepy. sorry if i went off script from ur original point #or if this is unreadable.

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sindar-princeling · 7 months ago

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3.3k word long RoP review because I'm cranky

I have already been sharing my more detailed notes from each episode here, but with this post I wanted to gather all my feelings and frustrations into something more coherent.

PLOTLINES AND PACING

It's been said before, but show has WAY too many plotlines - or rather, it has an amount of plotlines it can't manage. 12 plotlines (the broad plotline of the rings, Celebrimbor and Annatar, Sauron and Galadriel, Adar and orcs, the Stranger's identity, Nori and Poppy and their own struggles, the dwarves plus their rings plus the balrog, the dark wizard, Elrond and Durin, Numenor (which I'd say has two distinct plotlines, too), Isildur's plotline, and Theo's teased plotline with the Southlanders) doesn't have to be too many, but you have to be able to juggle them. Once again, I want to mention Lost, which started with a terrifying amount of 14 MAIN characters (and give or take five million side characters) - and while people grew to have different opinions about the show as it went on, you cannot deny seasons 1 and 2 are incredibly strong and remain some absolutely iconic pieces television. The creators took those legions of characters and RAN with them, and it was incredible.

If you only have 8 episodes to work with, you need fewer plotlines; if you want more plotlines, you need more episodes. From a purely mathematical perspective, even if you divided your time equally, with 8 roughly hour-long episodes and 12 plotlines you'd get 40-45 minutes per plotline. Then, you're left with a question: can I write a satisfying arc for 40 minutes of screen time? Can I write five, ten, TWELVE of those?

(It would have been easier, of course, if the RoP plotlines interacted with one another, but they rarely do. Usually, when you give 5 minutes of your limited time to one subplot, no other subplot gets to take part in it.)

Except, RoP doesn't divide its time equally. Nori was on the screen for what felt like 15 minutes, and in reality couldn't have been much more, because this subplot was completely sidelined; the same can be said for Gandalf, Isildur, Theo, and Arondir. To make a story something engaging, something moving, you need to either give it time to grow, or be an extremely skilled writer who can rewire someone's brain with ten lines of dialogue. And RoP fails at both.

The strongest points of this season were moments when it was focused on two, three plotlines at once, not more. That's when you could see it at least had potential to be engaging; that's when it all felt less chaotic, and like you could finally immerse yourself in the story.

Celebrimbor and Annatar

They were definitely one of the most interesting subplots this season, and the focus on it let Charles Edward shine. His performance easily the best in season 2.

It was a solid 7/10 plot. I still felt that it left a lot to be desired - I wanted Sauron's deceptions, Celebrimbor's realisation, the creation of the rings, and the whole dynamic between the two of them to pack more of a punch - but it managed to be a thread connecting a few plotlines together, something this show desperately needed.

What felt most ridiculous was the torturing scene, with Sauron shooting at Celebrimbor from a bow from a few steps away. It made me want to laugh during a moment when the last thing you want your viewers to do is laugh.

Galadriel and Sauron

I cover them more in the 'Characters' section. In terms of pacing, the conflict between them was somewhere in the background the whole time until their confrontation came, and it was, you know. Perfectly inoffensive, and just- correct.

All I'm going to say here is that the fight scene from episode 8 was written in a very generic way, and made me cringe quite a lot. The choreography felt off - it was kind of slow, and the use of the crown of morgoth made me roll my eyes a few times. It felt like it was meant to be just a showy addition to a fight, making it more "intimate" because they needed to stand closer for Sauron to be able to use it. "You want to heal Middle-Earth? Heal yourself." throws herself off a cliff where he can then easily retrieve the rings when she's unconscious remains one of the top three worst moments of both season two AND season one.

On a personal level, I fucking hate the romantic undertones they keep giving them on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

Dwarves

Making the balrog be one of the final scenes in their subplot in season one, only to make everyone wait for it until the finale again, was, of course, nothing more than a cheap tactic to keep people engaged. All in all, though, the Dwarves' subplot was one of the top ones in terms of the amount of things I liked. I appreciate that they leaned away from the antisemitic stereotype of them being inherently greedy. The stone listeners/singers are still one of the most original and fitting pieces of lore this show came up with, and their love for the stone and the mountains shines through in a moving way. It still annoys me that the race they gave Scottish accents to is more crass and swears more than the English Elves, though. It's so, SO annoying.

I'm kinda indifferent to Durin III. His subplot was pretty standard, but the final change of heart was terribly abrupt, and the last shot with him was so action movie-y you'd think it came from Fast and Furious 15.

Adar and the orcs

Adar's subplot continues to carry some of the most original and thought-provoking ideas of the show, as well as challenge some of Tolkien's writing in regard to the orcs. It's executed in a kind of messy way, but I appreciate that it's here. I wonder where it will go now that Adar is dead, because I'd love to see more morally complex orcs, who are in many ways victims of Sauron to the same degree as other races.

Nori+Gandalf, Numenor and Isildur

Nori, Poppy and Gandalf got kinda laughably little time, and so, the subplot achieved very little. Gandalf's search for who he is was already annoying to me, but then he and Nori got separated and the subplot got split into two. In Gandalf's subplot, we got Bombadil (more on that later), in Nori's, we got a new hobbit race. The show wants the two to be a non-insignificant part of its emotional core, but devotes no time for it. Make it make sense.

Numenor was… strange. It's a political drama, but all that happened in this season was more or less: Miriel is going to be queen- jk, Pharazon is going to be k- just kidding again, it's gonna be Miri- SIKE AGAIN. It was repetitive, and the manipulations and plots were frustrating instead of intriguing. (And again - that's because there was no time given to this subplot.)

Isildur has got to be the most useless subplot I've seen in a hot second. Net zero events. Net zero emotional involvement. He meets a girl, they kiss after two days even though she's taken, he can't take her back home to Numenor. He talks to Theo once. The end. Waste of everyone's time.

The Dark Wizard

It just made me sad, because for a while there I was hoping we'd see Rhun in a different way than before, but no, it's still a Land Of Shady People. :/

CHARACTERS

Sauron

Sauron felt bizarrely underutilised considering we're in a show called "Sauron: The Things Sauron Helped Make". He's the Deceiver! His plots and manipulations should have reached the levels of Elias from TMA or S2 Ben from Lost - when they succeed, you feel so sorry for the protagonists, but it's so immensely satisfying. You are in awe of the scale of the plans they pulled off, or how often they manage to make protagonists believe them.

(Remember when you see Vader at the end of Rogue One and his entrance is just chilling? THAT'S doing an iconic villain justice. We should have got moments when Sauron is utterly terrifying, but they never really came.)

His infatuation slash interest in Galadriel adds nothing to the show apart from some truly juvenile levels of drama between them, and some terrible, generic dialogue. They would have been one of each other's strongest focuses, anyway - they're one of each other's greatest enemies. The specific kind of romantic tension they got only takes away from their personalities.

Sauron is also one of the best examples of RoP creators flattening meaningful themes and events from Tolkien's works. Mordor is not a land killed slowly and painfully by Sauron's presence, where the evil literally chokes you and drains your will to live - it was just "activated" one day! The Nazgul are not horribly twisted souls of men who have no will of their own because they gave in to the rings - they just got rings that are more evil because they have Sauron's blood in them! Sauron is not an ambiguous figure with many names and forms, many of which are terrifying husks - he's a literal pile of black goo for a while. (??????)

(No, seriously. ??????????)

Charlie Vickers managed to make him kind of okay, I'd say? But the wasted potential never stops being painfully apparent.

Galadriel

Oh, my beloved Galadriel. Oh, what did they do to you.

The complex, mighty Galadriel, who is ambitious, proud and desires power, who wants to rule a land of her own, who finally decides not to be a Queen, but a Lady of Lorien, precisely because she knows what her greatest weakness is. Who is not tempted or touched by Sauron, and no-one would ever suggest she is - her hunger for power is entirely her own.

I know Tolkien had a thousand different versions of Galadriel, but one thing she was not, was absent from her own story. RoP Galadriel's story revolves around Sauron and the rings, and her greatest ambitions were taken from her and put into Sauron's mouth in season one in one of the most infuriating writing decisions I've been unlucky to witness (also sexist as fuck). The show does not allow her to be respected, or powerful, or wise - she is at fault for Sauron's return, and treated like an idiot for it. The romantic undertones of the subplot make it even worse, turning her into a young woman with a crush who now needs to prove to people around her she can still think straight.

I hate what they did to Galadriel, and the caricature they turned her into.

I'm also not a fan of Morfydd Clark's portrayal, I don't think she fits this character, but the script choices are what pisses me off the most anyway.

There is also a lot to say about the fact she looks like one of the youngest elves, when she should be either much older (than for example Gil-galad or Elrond) or roughly the same age (as Celebrimbor). The way she's presented in RoP, Galadriel is young and hot-headed, and constantly told off by older men. NOT the feminist breakthrough in Middle-Earth that Amazon wants to pretend it is.

ALSO making Elrond kiss her… Why does she have to be put in those unserious situations that feel like fan fiction in the worst possible way,

Celebrimbor

The best character this season, mostly because of his portrayal - Charles Edwards didn't stand out to me in season one, but I truly liked him a lot in season two. The script, once more, doesn't pack too much of a punch, and leads him through some non-sensical events ("the perfection of three, thrice perfected" why does this make sense to him?), but his emotional moments hit because of the quality of his acting. Without him, this season would have been truly barely tolerable.

Gandalf and Tom Bombadil

Putting these two together because they both flabbergasted me in a pretty similar way.

I don't think the kind of plots they chose for these characters are right for them. An initiation plot for Gandalf who's already in Middle-Earth is not a choice I like - I'd love to see him learning from Nienna in Valinor much more. Still, I can see trying to portray his beginnings in ME. But amnesia? Having to find a staff because… what exactly? Having to be told everything about himself? Those are such generic choices for such an iconic character!

Show me Gandalf getting to know the land he's supposed to guard. Show me Gandalf meeting the Ents, the Elves, wandering, weaving the web of connections and friends ans allies that he always has, show his skills in bringing people together, like he does for all of LOTR.

Choices regarding Bombadil were bad, in my opinion. I've already said it, but for the sake of making it a separate post without 30984098 links - I think making Bombadil a mentor figure was strange. I don't think it works (again, talk about Nienna!). Bombadil is random help when you need it, almost like a narrative equivalent of- maybe not exactly a deus ex machina, but a small-scale divine intervention nonetheless. He appears when you need him and disappears right after, and you can continue your journey, but he won't join you. He's not a guide or a mentor.

Making him a mentor took away from how original a character he is - but the worst offender in that regard is still the fact that they gave him Gandalf's line from the books (the one about many living people deserving death, and many dead deserving to live). Once again, they were just hammering iconic quotes into the mouths of different characters and it's. First of all lazy (even if you change two words), second of all, very annoyingly on the nose, third of all, there are so many ways to subtly show characters' influence on one another, and straight up copying quotes is not creative, it's not original, it doesn't tell you anything about the character who adopted that quote other than they can repeat stuff. Did they have any feelings about it? Do they agree completely or do they add their own spin on it as they go through life? You'll never know! The only influence you are shown is: character A heard something from character B, then later said it word for word to character C. It makes character A little more than a sieve for a glass of water - they don't have thoughts or feelings, they don't transform the things they hear, they don't filter things through themself. What falls out is exactly what came in. RoP did it with Sauron and Galadriel in season one, and now with Gandalf and Bombadil. WHAT'S the point. Also I'm not sure this quote even fits Bombadil that well. He's a force of life and joy, but he has no problem with commanding things to obey him, like Old Man Willow. He's 100% a benevolent character, but probably not someone who would say "who are you to rule over powerful forces", at least in my opinion, because few rules actually touch him, if that makes sense.

HOWEVER. I did like hearing him sing all the time.

Others

Putting all other characters here, because I don't have as many thoughts about them. I love Miriel and Elendil, they have a great dynamic and along with Pharazon are the strongest parts of the Numenor subplot. Kemen and Earien annoy me so much. Nori and Poppy have painfully little personality. Durin and Disa, when they get good moments, are GOOD, but the script doesn't always let them shine. Gil-galad was good in episodes 7 and 8, forgettable in the rest. Elrond is kind of all over the place - they gave him a few interesting things to do, like brutally killing an orc to show just how ruthless Elves can be - but those things don't fit him, they should have been given to someone else. Adar saddens me because he got the mcu villain treatment where he makes good points, but then does unrelated inexcusable things so that you don't root for him too much.

Also, Celeborn continues to be "dead", and I fear to ask how they will handle his "reveal".

LORE

Oh boy, okay.

All I will say is that to each their own, but some of the lore choices simply piss me off. Why is mithril important to the Elves' survival? Why is everything about Sauron Like That? Why was Mordor created in a day? Why is the order of everything completely backwards?

The constant references to LOTR are a mixed bag. Some of them I liked ("pity will not defeat Sauron" when we know it will, the appearance of an Entwife), some of them were too on-the-nose for me to enjoy - the direct quotes, Old Man Ironwood, every time someone said "the lord of the rings", Sauron being present for the Doors of Durin being made.

I feel like the best thing this show could have done lore-wise, that would have taken care of so many issues, would have been putting most of their focus on making the world feel clearly like the world that will later diminish into the world we know from LOTR. Why make some unnecesary, non-sensical lore when this would connect your show to Tolkien so clearly? Worldbuilding is Tolkien's thing, and his world is one of the most recognisable out there. When the setting feels like Middle-Earth, everything that happens in it automatically feels more Tolkien-like.

You don't need to pay THAT much attention to worldbuilding with every author, but you absolutely do with him.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS

I don't have opinions on all technical aspects, because I always tend to focus on plots, characters and themes and am not very good or familiar with the technical side of filmmaking, so these are just some of my assorted thoughts.

I still enjoy the music in RoP; it may not be one of the most memorable soundtracks I've ever heard, but you can hear the references to Howard Shore's score (something that I learned was fully intentional), especially in the instruments used, and the "sound palettes" certain places and characters get in the process. I have no musical vocabulary so I can go on vibes only, but especially the orcs' themes feel close to Howard Shore's. It's a nice but still subtle way of connecting these two worlds.

I don't fully agree with people saying this show looks good. The costumes are still very simple, often just one layer of clothing with an added belt and some jewellery. Some characters don't change their costumes even once? I don't think Disa ever wore a different dress; at the very least, she spends most of the time in the same one as she did in season one. I'd say the costume designers weren't given enough time to work on them, because you can often see vision, but it always feels unfinished. Most of the time, armour looks better than everyday clothes, so you can't help but wonder if the everyday clothes were done in a rush.

Make-up on elven women is so modern-looking it breaks whatever immersion the show manages to build. I hate it so, so much (whoever decided Mirdania would look like that I am looking RIGHT at you and judging).

Annatar's wig was simply Not Good.

OVERALL

I feel that this show is both infuriatingly bad, and boringly mediocre; both slow, and fast and superficial. There's too few and too many things happening at once. It says so much, but it doesn't have anything actually meaningful to say, any connecting thought or feeling or motto. Emotionally, it feels empty.

It's hard to imagine future seasons being good enough to redeem the first two. And honestly, it just makes me sad.

#it's mine my own my precious #rop #trop #the rings of power #rings of power #rop critical

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