#which is just how cat urine be sometimes

[lex-artis-studios]

More vet tech things

Had an appointment this afternoon with an elderly lady who was hard of hearing, and her young fluffy tortoiseshell cat. While I'm taking the cat's history, the owner just blurts out,

"I think the cat's gotta be trans! She just acts like such a boy! I always have to correct myself because I keep calling her a him! And her pee stinks!"

I really had no way to reply to that.

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Beyond Kenny, do you have a favourite character? Out of the boys at least, and I mean favourite as in “oh he’s a cutie patutie” and even “I want to swaddle him and syringe feed him soup”.

It has to be between Clyde or Scott Malkinson, right?

(Except for in TFBW because despite him being a very useful ally, the diabetic rage repeated lines were very annoying after, like, the second go – and then the over the top Mosquito roleplay. I don’t think it’d be so vexing, more cute, if the dialogue strips weren’t repeated at least 20 times per round 😭 but maybe that’s just me)

Hmm. Aside from Kenny, my favs change all the time. Right now I'm kinda fixated on Bebe. I have q'd up every single post mentioning Tammy W that I can find (with a few exceptions). I've posted about Kevin M enough that I think other Kevin fans can recognize me.

I think Kyle is one of the cutest kids in the whole show. Mr. Mackey is relatable at times and I feel represented in the way he talks, plus his design is iconic. I love Nichole's design too (and IMO she's the real 3rd girl. Don't tell Red lovers I said that though). Garrison is hilarious. Nathan is criminally underutilized. I wish Francis Redhead played a more mahor role. Henrietta is objectively one of the best 4th grade girls IMO.

I've also been trying to make a record of every single appearance of a few background characters who I ship and even commissioned art for. I intend to write wiki entries for them both eventually. I've also become weirdly invested in the shenanigens of Enchoritoes Mark and his wife who I've nicknamed Emma.

Yeah. My fav changes all the time. But I'll always love Kenny

[yayswag]

imagining them as roommates + some writing under this cut!!

Stan and Kenny had managed to adopt a cat while in their shared dorm, mostly at Stan’s behest and under the guise of it being an emotional support animal. Stan didn’t realize the validity of this pledge until they actually had the cat, but he suspects Kenny had, because they made some kind of comment at the shelter about Stan needing one (an emotional support animal) now that Kyle was gone. Stan took offense to this, but prioritized reminding them that Kyle was not, in fact, gone and was only four hours away at another college and also was not an animal, he was their best friend.

Unrelatedly, Stan had wanted to name the cat Kyle. But upon this announcement, Kenny had just stared at him, saying nothing, for long enough that he was forced to choke out a ‘just kidding.’

So, Broflovski the cat had become a staple of Stan and Kenny’s college lifestyle. She had lived with them for over a month, Stan was still yet to mention the name to Kyle, unrelatedly.

Broflovski was not very much like Kyle. She was extremely friendly and had a habit of peeing on Stan’s shoes, neither of which were traits he associated with the real Kyle, not that she was named after him, because she wasn’t, and if she was, it was like an ironic joke.

Not that Stan’s college friends would have really gotten it, or the girls Kenny tended to bring over. Kenny insisted that all they did was practice together, but Stan had his doubts. Kenny was heavily absorbed in the apparently cutthroat and at times surprisingly profitable world of competitive Scrabble, and Stan had questions as to how Scrabble practice could involve so much muffled laughter. Still, it seemed to be- as Kyle put it- a “healthy outlet” and could, Stan guessed, sometimes be fun.

He expressed this to Kyle one night over the phone, they were playing the online Scrabble app that Kenny had been quietly pushing onto them both for months. It was called Wordbuddy. Stan was yet to win a match, but he didn’t mind all that much.

Kyle, on the other hand, was merciless both towards Stan and the app’s AI, which he played against frequently and seemingly with no shortage of emotional investment. He was yet to play Kenny. In group texts, Stan was often subject to both Kenny’s pestering Kyle to “scrabble me bro” as well as Kyle’s somewhat unsubtle dodges, the reason for which Stan was still uncertain.

The point was that Broflovski was a good cat, Stan thought, feeling cheerful as he laced up his Pumas which, these days, smelled like normal shoe smell and only a little like urine. The Pumas were maybe a little ugly anyways, he thought. Broflovski was cuter.

“Broflovski, you are so cute. You beat these shoes any day,” he voiced to her.

Kenny overheard from the next room, yelling slightly over the hiss of the running sink and sounding, as usual, slightly delighted, “your ugly shoes?”

“Um. Yeah,” Stan replied, a little embarrassed.

Despite the ensuing mental debate, contemplated at great measure over several glasses of whole milk from the dining hall, Stan ultimately decided not to get rid of his Pumas.

[pseudowho]

Hi Mrs Haitch! First let me say that I adore your stories and the way you write the men in your fics. Not only are they hot and enjoyable to read but also they feel real and adult. I don't want to bash on anyone by saying this, but sometimes it's difficult to enjoy fics written by younger people when you're pushing 30 because they portray a different reality. Please, never stop writing!

Before getting into the next part of the ask I'd like to say that this is in no way a demand and I it's not my intention to trauma dump on you. I just felt like talking a little about my experience could provide a bit of context.

I just read the ask about the soft spot and, although I'm not a virgin, I'm a serial victim of bad sex. I would love technical (even if explicit) descriptions on how to find the famed spot. I think is really cool when women in the medical field talk about sexual health, and it could be good having this kind of knowledge on a famous fic blog like yours, since I imagine a lot of fic readers are either virgins or had less than ideal sexual experiences, like me.

I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring you though! I totally understand if you prefer to keep this kind of thing out of your blog. It's just that a while ago I read on another blog from a healthcare professional a post about how sex shouldn't hurt even in the first time and I was blown away (this happened years after I started having sex and after having deemed myself "defective" and doomed to painful sex to the rest of my life)

Sorry for the long ask. Sending lots of hapiness your way <3

Well, if it helps even one person, it is absolutely my pleasure to do so.

I'm sorry for your bad sex. Nothing excuses it, frankly, and I'm a firm believer that most people are profoundly shit at giving vagina-owners orgasms.

(you calling my blog 'famous' does not go unnoticed and I could blush. Shhhh.)

I think age comes with so much beauty. I am a staunch believer in the unifying power of people, and when groups of women support the ducklings of the group, the ducklings are far less likely to be led down the garden path, on what is 'normal' or 'abnormal' or 'good' or 'bad' in sex.

This is why men and the media fear strongly-bonded groups of women so much-- it's almost like we'll talk and start to take note of the real problems. Cats amongst pigeons, right?

Anyway...

Cw and tw: medical discussion, discussion of self-examination

So again, while the location of the g-spot varies in exact location from vagina-owner to vagina-owner, on average it is located 2-3 inches into the vagina, on the anterior vaginal wall.

What I mean by anterior vaginal wall is, if standing and facing forwards, it's the wall of your vagina closest to the front of you, rather than your back.

Picture posted again, for reference!

The g-spot is of variable size, usually the size of a large coin, and it may feel a bit rougher or ridged than other parts of your vagina, but becomes spongier or thicker and plusher when aroused or stimulated.

If you were to get two fingers on your dominant hand, reach inside the vagina up to the base of your fingers, and hook forwards, you should find it.

I suggest for the first time, finding it when you need to pee. This is because, the g-spot sits against the urethral canal (the tube you pee out of), and if you have a full bladder, you'll know you've found the g-spot because it will feel really sensitive and likely increase your urge to pee.

If you happen to orgasm with g-spot and clitoral stimulation while you have urine in your bladder, your chances of "squirting" (which, if you see my previous post, is almost certainly just pee) are much higher. It's a unique experience and you should try it. Put a towel down.

I find a good sized wand vibrator, inserted and positioned just-so, will give great continuous g-spot stimulation while you, or someone else, goes to town elsewhere.

Start combining all of the erogenous zones and it's party time.

As said previously, sensitivity is very variable. Exploring and knowing yourself is key to showing a partner how to pleasure you.

If you have sex with a partner who responds with anything other than "teach me" absolute enthusiasm, when you want to show them what works for you...if they 'try' for a short time, then give up? If they carry on doing their own thing anyway? If they're impatient?

Kick them to the curb. They can go fuck themselves.

Very much love as always,

-- Haitch xxx

[catsofcalifornia]

Cinnamon and Lady Catherine from Feral Cat Foundation in Alamo, California

Click here for more information about adoption and other ways to help!

Click here for a link to Feral Cat Foundation's main website.

Cinnamon and Lady Catherine are a bonded pair of fluffy 7-year-old cats. (Might be siblings; we are not sure.) Theirs is a bit of a hard-luck story, and they have some special needs. They’re looking for that special home to help them blossom, so if you think that might be yours, read on!

Six years ago, the two fluffballs were trapped in a retail parking lot as part of a feral cat fixing program. Both seemed pretty feral at first, but with one needing extra medical care and both being so doggone cute, their rescuer just couldn't bear to return them to the parking lot. She kept them at her home and worked with them, seeing substantial progress over time.

Cinnamon is a cute-as-can-be orange male cat. When he first came to us, his tail was dragging on the ground. It was found to have permanent nerve damage and had to be amputated. He didn’t seem to miss it, and has just a cute little nub on his backside now. Cinnamon has developed a sweet, demure and laid-back personality. He has such a lovable begging face when he wants pets, purrs very loudly and looks so serene when he receives them!

After some time in foster care, Cinnamon was noticed straining to urinate and was found to have bladder stones. He had surgery to remove them, and thereafter was placed on a prescription diet formulated to keep the bladder crystals from recurring and forming into stones. Right now he’s primarily eating Hills S/O dry food. (Increasing the amount of wet food would probably be even better if you can.) At any rate, he’s been maintaining on the diet for several years now, and the bladder issue has not recurred. To check up on him, we had an ultrasound done very recently, and the vet found no signs of additional stones forming. So, it’s a good indication that the diet is working as planned and keeping him healthy. The food is easy to obtain, and while it is a little more expensive than regular cat food, it’s not outrageous.

Lady Catherine is a drop-dead gorgeous calico female and Cinnamon’s best buddy. She is shyer than Cinnamon, and would require a good dose of patience as she settles into a new location. Once she gets to know someone, she can be quite friendly, rubbing coquettishly on the cat tree and hoping for a visit. She does blow a bit hot and cold and sometimes just isn’t in the mood at all. We are sure that with more personalized attention, she would continue to blossom further and really get the chance to live her best life.

For convenience since they are roommates, Lady Catherine has been eating the same food as Cinnamon (it doesn’t hurt for her to eat it, even though she doesn’t require it).

What is so much fun about these two, is watching them interact together. They spend most of their time sitting and cuddling together, or sort of weaving around each other with purrs and nuzzles. It is really sweet to see how much they love each other!

A couple years ago, this pair actually did get adopted. Their new dad adored them but tragically, he passed away unexpectedly, and the family called the rescue to come repossess the cats. They had been blissfully happy in the home, and they do not understand why they had to come back to foster care. From this experience, we know Cinnamon and Catherine would need a quiet home with patient person(s) willing to take it slow. It would probably go best to keep them in one room of the house for a month or possibly a couple months until they acclimate. They would not be a good fit for a home with kids or dogs; they have gotten very accustomed to quiet adults. They do get along great with other cats, but of course there is the food requirement so if there are other cats eating other food in the home, you’d need a method to separate Cinnamon for feeding (which certainly is not impossible and we can talk about strategies for this, if that’s your situation).

Both kitties are about 7 years old at this time. I know most people will think this is too old for a new cat… keep in mind however that with proper care, indoor kitties typically live 15-20 years. Cinnamon and Lady Catherine have a whole “ACT TWO” ahead of them! They are special kitties, and so very deserving of that second chance to live their best life. They have been fixed, brought up to date on vaccinations, and tested FIV/FELV negative. They have always done a great job of using the litterbox! There is an adoption donation to the Feral Cat Foundation (an all-volunteer organization, which helped get them out of a bad situation and provided all of their medical care) to help us continue our work with homeless cats. If you would like to meet this fluffy pair or have any questions, please reach out by phone or email!

[backside-into-the-heavenly]

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. Since they were starting to smell, however, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, resulting in the idiom, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, leading folks to coin the phrase “dirt poor.”

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a “thresh hold.”

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot; they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands & complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive, so they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that’s the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring?

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Grain of Salt "Facts"

I don't know if these are true or not but they come from a source I tend to trust. Still, take 'em with a grain of salt and please excuse the word used for urination. The fact just doesn't make sense without it.

People used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery…….if you had to do this to survive you were "P*ss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot……they "didn't have a pot to p*ss in" & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the old days…

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell … brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it … hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs with thick straw piled high, with no solid roof. The cats and other small animals including mice, bugs lived in the roof to get warm. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes they would slip and fall off the roof … hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was also nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and droppings could mess up their nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how our luxurious “canopy beds” came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a “thresh hold”.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire … every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered “poisonous”.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust”.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a “wake”.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive … so they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, “saved by the bell” or was considered a “dead ringer”.

[joelscruff]

hi! your writing is incredible and i have noticed you have also written a couple of darker fics. are there some tropes/types of characters you would not feel comfortable writing?

sorry for the late response on this non! i wasn't sure how to answer it just because i never want people to feel bad for the things they enjoy. this has always been a safe space without kinkshaming so i don't want anyone to think that just because i don't like certain things in fic that i'm condemning them or something, cause that's certainly not the case. so i'm just gonna put the answer under a readmore 💖

for me personally, the main things i don't tend to read/write are noncon & pregnancy. for noncon, there are some specific scenarios where i can suspend my discomfort (for example, my fics to freeze or to thaw & truth or dare have noncon-ish elements, but i've adjusted things to suit my particular tastes) but usually if i'm reading a fic where the reader consistently feels unsafe/afraid it's just not an enjoyable experience for me. as for pregnancy, i'm okay with it in small-ish doses, but i'm not really interested in reading fics where it's a main plot point. again, personal taste!

as for little kinks here and there, i usually avoid things having to do with feet (i hate feet, sorry to my feet loving friends 😔), as well as things involving bodily fluids like blood/spit/urine. and i know you're probably thinking... "cat, didn't you literally write a fic with piss kink?" ... yes i did. but AGAIN, it was such a specific scenario lmao. i don't seek it out and probably wouldn't read it unless it was kind of just a little tease of it like the one i wrote. also tbh my tastes are always evolving. for example i used to not read any fics that involved choking but i've found that it can be enjoyable for me when it's written a certain way, same with degradation.

such a long answer, sorry lmao. but i realized i should probably put this out there because i tend to get requests/asks sent to me sometimes that really don't fit my tastes and it's my own fault for not being clear about it. but i just wanna reiterate yet again that everyone has the right to write whatever they want! we all choose which content we consume ❤️

[muzaktomyears]

Bruno treated us to what for him was a smile. “You boys will make the Indra into another Kaiserkeller,” he said. “No one comes to this place,” he admitted, stating the obvious. “But you’ll make it go when you make show.”

‘Make show’… that was the phrase we were going to have to learn to live with for a long time. Bruno, in his halting English, pronounced it ‘mack show’, which didn’t strike us as being all that amusing as we stood there like sacks of potatoes with our suitcases in hand.

“Where are we staying?” someone asked, trying to change the subject. By this time, we were all anxious to seek some escape in a comfortable night’s sleep in a cosy hotel bed. Misconception number two. Bruno led the way farther along to the wrong end of the street – to a dismal cinema called the Bambi Kino which showed third-rate Westerns and the occasional sex movie. We followed him round a corner to the rear of this drab flea-pit where he opened a door which gave on to nothing but pitch darkness. We trooped through and peering through the blackness made out a light some yards along what turned out to be a gloomy corridor. It came from a solitary light which attracted us towards it like moths; we began to run, leaving Bruno behind.

The light was coming from a room. Lennon got there first, heading the stampede, closely followed by Stu Sutcliffe, who was always somehow near John. George was just behind them and Paul and I were the last in the queue. It wasn’t a pretty sight that greeted us; a scruffy, barren room containing two single beds and an ancient couch.

“What the fucking hell?” Lennon exploded.

“Fuck me!” the rest of us said, almost in unison.

John and Stu commandeered a bed each. George staked his claim on the couch. It was the old story of first come, first served. Paul and I looked at each other, wondering what the floor felt like.

Bruno had caught up with us and tried to charm us with his smile. “But there are two more bedrooms,” he boasted; Paul and I immediately thought that possibly we were the lucky ones after all at the back of the line. A room each, we thought.

We saw them in the flickering glow of matches because these two rooms couldn’t muster a solitary bulb between them. They were two dungeons, which is how we referred to them from that moment. They measured about 5ft by 6ft and most of that was taken up by a single bed on which we dumped our cases.

“You could just about swing a cat in here,” Paul observed drily – “providing it’s got no tail!” We mouthed enough obscenities to paper a wall, but Bruno either didn’t understand or pretended not to. “Only temporary,” he kept saying, “only temporary.”

Paul sat down on his bed in the darkness and I heard the well-worn springs groan pitifully. I knew how they felt. So to bed on our first night in Hamburg, filled with disgust. The big stars from Liverpool… The Beatles!

Even in the daytime, we found, there was no light. Our billet was an extension built onto the rear of the cinema – right next to the toilets! We had to wash and shave in cold water in the cinema urinals – where sometimes the patrons of the Bambi Kino would surprise us and stand and stare at the haggard, black and white apparitions. Lennon, George and Stu were living in comparative luxury in their drab three-bed room some 25 yards along a corridor. Bruno’s ‘only temporary’ promise never did come true. We were doomed to the dungeons, which became home, stacked with guitar and drum cases and a collection of old laundry.

Paul and I never knew if it was night or day. We wrote letters home sitting on our beds with pocket torches strapped around our heads like miners’ lamps. Day after day we all complained to Bruno about the dingy squalor in which we were living. We pointed out that we were, after all, lads from decent middle-class backgrounds whose parents had scrimped and worked to try to give us a good education. What had we done to end up in Germany being treated like a bunch of dossers or winos ready to kip down anywhere for a night? Daily we were given the same smarmy smile and promises, promises. Bruno had once been a clown, we were told, but he certainly didn’t make us laugh.

Beatle! The Pete Best Story, Pete Best and Patrick Doncaster (1985)

[callsignbaphomet]

Still got Loke on the brain so here's a random list of faqs of my good boy. Oracle version.

He's left-handed.

Jelani was the first one to call him Lo and Loki. It was when he was first starting to talk and Loke was a bit difficult to pronounce. At first it was kind of a "low-ee" sound that progressed to Loki and then to Loke but the nicknames stuck ever since.

He's genderqueer and uses he/him and they/them. Either is fine with him.

He's queer. He used to use gay but felt it a bit restrictive and not right for him plus his mom uses queer so he went with queer. Men and male presenting are what he's attracted to.

The woman that birthed him tried to drown him when he was a week old. She took him to a river near the village and submerged him but luckily someone had stopped her. She ran away as they desperately tried to get him to start breathing again. He was fine.

Speaking of that woman, as of 2023 she is still alive and has on numerous occasions tried to approach him. She spoke to Sanaa once and asked if she could talk to him but Sanaa said that was Loke's decision. He wants absolutely NOTHING to do with her. Unfortunately he was told she tried to drown him and that caused a ton of drama and a bit of a trauma.

He bled to death once. He was run through with a bastard sword (I'd explain more but it's spoiler for something I'm currently writing).

His favorite animals are birds, foxes, and dogs.

He's afraid of cats. When he was little he used to feed some birds that hung around the village and one day he saw a cat kill and eat one of the birds.

He had a fiancé when he was 39 years old. He was killed during a raid. What no one except for Sanaa knew was that the fiancé was pregnant (trans) when he died. Obviously it was Loke's. That's a secret his mom's gonna take to her grave.

He has hemophilia, asthma, is far sighted, has seasonal allergies and is V E R Y allergic to tree nuts. Like one bite will either land him in the ER or the morgue.

Because of said hemophilia he will get random bruises anywhere in the body, his mouth will sometimes bleed, may cough blood, might bleed into his joints (apparently that's super painful), and yes, has had blood in his urine. All of these are really rare though.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaates using glasses so mostly sticks to using contacts.

I associate him with foxes (sable) and shiba inus.

The element I associate him with is lightning/thunder.

He's a Nordic berserker.

Speaking of, normally berserkers cannot use magic especially while in berserker mode. The only exception to that rule are the Nyota berserkers which are called arcanist berserkers. Sanaa is one of those specific berserkers. Ever since he was like 5 he wanted to learn to use magic like Sanaa does because he wanted to be just like his mom. Sanaa wasn't sure he would be able to learn what she was trying to teach him but she indulged him nonetheless.

It took years but Loke actually managed to learn how to pull off one of the Nyota's signature moves. Enchanting an arrow and firing it directly into the sky and exploding into hundreds or thousands of shards falling into the battlefield. He was also taught how to summon an element which in his case was lightning. He can have lightning wrapped around himself or a weapon. So far he's the only non-arcanist berserker to ever achieve this.

The man is stubborn as fuck all.

His chosen weapons as a berserker are a two headed axe and a bow and arrows (he chose a bow because his mom uses a bow).

During the early 2000s he and his mom enrolled in the same university to study medicine. They both graduated top of their class and did their residency at the same hospital. However, Sanaa got her license and is currently a doctor back home in Norway. Loke finished everything but went back to Oracle. He has that to fall back on whenever he chooses to retire from Oracle. He puts his medical knowledge to good use in the area of operations (the ao) and out of it tho.

Has adult separation anxiety. Technically speaking so does Jelani (only Angelus knows this but the rest suspect Jelani has it too). Neither can be separated for long periods of time. They start panicking when separated from each other for long periods of time.

His body count (like actual body count, not how many men he's had sex with) is disturbingly high. Disturbingly. High. He's very overprotective of the people he loves and will not hesitate to put two bullets into someone's skull and keep going as if nothing happened.

His favorite fruit is the mango. He really loves mangoes.

Favorite food is pizza.

Knows 13 languages: old Norse, Kiswahili, Xhosa, English, Lule Sámi, Norwegian, German, Icelandic, Faroese, Spanish, Setswana, Somali and Manyika. Basically the same languages Jelani knows.

Has a nicotine addiction and smokes. Not as much as he used to but he does.

Normally when berserkers are in berserker mode their irises tend to have a glow. However, Loke's sclera and irises turn red and no, it ain't normal. [No explanation due to spoilers].

He can sing and I do mean sing really good. He and Abigail often sing together by themselves. Abby loves to sing in front of others but Loke's shy about it. Everyone tells him he has a lovely voice though and he shouldn't feel shy about it.

If you wanna get technical about it Sanaa is his stepmother and Jelani is his half brother but he only ever refers to Sanaa as his mom and Jelani as his brother. He leaves out the step and the half. One of the worst ways you could possibly insult him is by calling Sanaa his stepmom and Jelani his half brother. Do that and you're instantly on his shit list forever, unless it wasn't intentional, just make sure you never do it again. Do it again and the ass kicking that follows will make your ancestors bleed.

He's a highly trained counter-sniper. He's also pretty good with a sniper. Trevor trained him. As it stands he's the second best sniper in all of Oracle.

He's extremely effective with any weapon he gets his hands on, he's also very accurate. If he missed it's because he wanted to.

He's ridiculously fast at drawing and firing weapons.

He's basically a human (no, he's not human, you know what I mean) lie detector. He can accurately tell when someone is lying.

He also makes an excellent double agent.

He's the only one who can tell when Jelani is lying.

According to tradition he was the next in line to be jarl. The position usually falls on the oldest child of the jarl's. However, he isn't one for such matters so he gave his position to Jelani who was, in his honest opinion, better suited for the role as he's proven to be a natural leader.

He is a very, very, very heavy sleeper. You literally have to shake him awake. Also it takes him like mere seconds to fall asleep.

He has 10 alarms on his phone cuz he sure as fuck ain't gonna hear the first 5.

He's super lazy.

He is the first and only non-Nyota to be a Warden.

He's 22 years older than Jelani.

He's the same age as his aunt Fae (Sanaa's sister).

When Jelani was born Loke basically turned into a third parent. It wasn't forced, he loved taking care of and looking after his baby brother. It was practically love at first sight.

He loves both of his parents but he's very attached to his mom.

Has three false right bottom molars. Hammer to the face.

Has two pet pigeons (Anga & Mvua) and a German Shepherd (Lyn).

Hates reading. Please don't make him read, it makes his brain cry.

Hates exercising. Has to be dragged to do it.

His ID number is 00-2144.

His favorite season is fall.

Likes the beach but the beach does not like him. He doesn't tan, he burns.

He kinda stopped physically aging. Sanaa noticed this long ago but isn't sure of what's going on so she's kept it to herself just in case.

After a certain event [can't say due to spoilers] Loke can't actually really die. He might die for a few minutes to an hour depending on the severity of the injury but he'll always come back. The only way he'll permanently die is if Jelani dies. [Again, not explaining bc of spoilers]. He'll scar like normal berserkers do though or lose limbs if not careful. No one is aware of this, not even him or Jelani.

During the "God Virus" story when Jelani loses total control because of the virus Loke sort of lost control. Sort of. [Spoilers. Can't explain yet]

He belongs to Uthorim.

Wants to have kids someday.

Is a hugger. He loves to hug. Unless the person isn't comfortable with it. Is also a cuddler when sleeping.

As a sort of "easter egg" all of Loke's au versions have all au versions of Iain try to kill him or manage to injure him in some way.

Is actually really good with kids. He often babysits for others as well as driving down to New York to babysit for his aunt Fae. Yes, it's a 10 hour drive. No, he doesn't give a fuck.

Sleeps with a shirt on. Just a shirt.

Like his brother he's into metal.

[1solone]

😯🤔😎

DID YOU KNOW ! ! !

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . ...... . Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting Married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof... Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would Sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

The country is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring?

[arcane-sync]

I'm just... not in a good way. Kind of in a very bad way, actually.

Still dragging my way through school. Which is fine at this point. No new struggles there. Just... several house problems have come up as well, and my husband has done fuck all to address them. I am moderately germaphobic, so it is very literally difficult to do certain tasks. Yet I find myself doing the litter, cleaning the dishes, and hell, even some plumbing. The sinks have been draining slowly, and cleaning the drain traps has been an actual nightmare. I asked him to at least clean out the bucket I used and put on the back porch. He emptied it, but he didn't rinse them out with the hose. I've had to do construction and handyman work. I need to figure out how to drain the hot water heater. Plus normal stuff like cleaning the counters, the floors, the toilet. I CAN do these things, even with the phobia, but it is so, so mentally taxing. Plus the litter and dishes are supposed to be his chores, and he complains about them not getting done. He just... doesn't do it. Says he doesn't have time, doesn't fit into his schedule.

The cat has been misbehaving as well. She has decided my husband's clothes are a good place to go bathroom. And my husband is loosing his temper over it, which is... very literally triggering me. My dad would lose his temper with our cats growing up and kick them across the room. My husband isn't hurting our cat, but it still triggers me that he is getting angry with the cat for doing cat things. It's not her fault. It's our fault for not training her properly and/or not seeing to her medical needs. He has been complaining about this for weeks, but he hasn't fixed anything. I finally decided to just schedule the vet appointment myself. He bought cleaning supplies to deodorize her messes, but he hasn't used them properly. He just throws the clothes in the washer without running it, making the washer smell. I should mention I am ALLERGIC to cat urine. He KNOWS this. I have asked him to clean these things. But again... doesn't fit his schedule. He just gets mad about it instead. I am just trying to keep up with the problem as best I can.

My physical health is struggling, mostly because the air quality is terrible where I live. It is causing several different health issues to flare.

Counseling has been... hard. Good progress. Amazing progress. I have met a few new parts. But with that comes... well... difficult memories. Difficult emotions. New things I do not know how to deal with. New parts to take care of. I need to publicly state I am not ashamed of them or what they've been through, because I know they fear that. It is just... hard. For me and them.

Since my mental AND physical health is flagging, older mental health issues are beginning to rear their heads again. Stuff that I usually have a handle on. Self harm just to make everything... stop... slow down for a while. I have an old eating disorder rearing its head too. I've never known exactly what it is, never been diagnosed. I'll go days at a time without eating. And when I do, there's a 50/50 chance I'll keep the food down. Sometimes I'll throw it up due to disgust with myself for eating, and sometimes its due to distrusting the food, that it is somehow contaminated (and that is 100% a trauma thing, growing up in a house with food that was frequently infested. Don't know if those instances count as flashbacks or not).

I am... scared to admit to struggling. Not with my relationship with my school now. It's pretty clear that any signs of mental health struggles will be confronted with great bias. Hell, even my marriage problems. That is one of the areas they drilled me on, saying that a poor marriage was a sign that I was unfit for the program.

I find myself missing the psych ward. The permission to just... focus on myself and my own recovery.

I am... not okay.

[coffeefueledmachine]

A Day in My Life

by Rubie Ryan G. Cabigas

Today is another day but nothing’s new in what I do every day. Everything in my life is like a programmed code for machines, it’s all the same. Well, it’s not like I am complaining about it but I do sometimes wish that something exciting happens in my life just to spice it up a bit.

Going back to the main topic, this is how I start my daily life. I wake up around 7 to 8 am and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I then go to my dogs’ little rooms and get them out one by one for them to have some exercise and defecate outside (don’t worry, I always clean up my dogs’ mess after they finished their business outside). After having a bit of exercise and defecating (obviously, not me but my dogs), I bring my dogs back to their little rooms and then I get my shovel, “walis ting-ting” and dustpan to clean up the mess done by my dogs. I sweep and then bury my dogs’ feces. Then, I will go and check my plants. My plants are onion chives, red bell pepper, lemongrass, aloe vera, and spinach. I create my own concoction of fertilizer by using organic materials that are in front of our house, like dead leaves and fruit peelings. After checking my plants and giving them liquid fertilizer, I will head out and buy some bread for our breakfast, and sometimes, I also buy some fish (rejects, “tamban” or “sigarilyo”) as viand for my pets (dogs and cats). I usually buy around 2 kilos of fish as long as it doesn’t exceed my budget (which is around 150 pesos) but if it exceeds my budget, I will only buy half a kilo of it. After purchasing bread and some fish, I and my mother will now have our breakfast which consists of bread and some hot drinks. My hot drink is semi-sweetened hot cocoa with a bit of coffee because if I don’t drink caffeinated drinks (especially coffee), I will experience another painful migraine that lasts a day. After having our breakfast, I will start my household chores which consist of removing the dust from the furniture and then sweeping the floor of our house. And that is the end of my chores for the first half of my day.

Before continuing to the second half of my boring daily life, I just want to tell you, my readers, that things are going to get more boring at this part. I hope you will stay and continue reading this.

For the second half of the day in my life, I start by preparing our lunch right after a few minutes of cleaning the house. We usually have our lunch around 12:45 pm, just in time before It’s Showtime starts on Youtube. After eating our lunch, I start preparing my pets’ food by mashing the fish into a paste before mixing it then to the cooked corn rice (bugas mais) so that my pets will eat everything instead of just eating the fish and leaving the rice. While they are eating, I will flush their pee out of their rooms to keep it clean. After flushing the urine away and after they finish eating their food, I will get their plates and wash them and leave them to dry. I will now then start working on my school requirements and my side hustles cryptocurrency mining sites and apps, and play-to-earn sites and apps). But most of the time, I just do my school requirements before the deadline because my laptop might not work again and cause me a lot of problems. Around 7 pm, I will temporarily stop doing my school requirements to prepare our dinner before my little sister arrives home from work. After our dinner, I will now prepare my pets’ dinner by doing the same thing I did for them during their lunchtime. After feeding and making sure that my pets will finish their food, I will get their plates and wash them. Then, I will now start washing our plates and the utensils that my little sister used in her work. After finishing my final household chore, I will continue working on my school requirements. I will then sleep around 2-3 am after finishing 60% of my requirements.

And that’s all folks, this is how a day in my life goes by. I know it’s kinda boring. Yeah, that’s what I also feel actually but it is better than doing nothing. I hope you “enjoyed” reading about how a day goes by in my life. Until next time, I guess. Bye and have a nice day ahead.

[nik-the-bik]

Hello! I hate to be that guy, but I **Work in Property Management**

(to clarify, I am not your landlord. Your landlord signs my paycheck to do the shit they don't want to deal with. I too am exploited for my labor but have to earn money somehow).

And the above poster??? A little alarmist.

Let me tell you about the importance of Pet Pictures in Shared Living!

Yes, there may absolutely be slumlords out there who look for any excuse to kick a person out (but like...why not just let them live there if they're still a good tenant? Usually the only excuse is bigotry or greed). There are definitely also slumlords who will happily deny someone who needs the service animal ((WHICH IS MOST ALWAYS A VIOLATION OF FAIR HOUSING AND YOU SHOULD LOOK UP YOUR RIGHTS!)).

But from MY experience, we ask for pet pictures for the following reasons:

Identifying the animal and it's owner in the event the animal gets out. Within my first month on the job we had a cat freaking out in the hallway and no idea who it belonged to because it wasn't registered and we had no photos. Do you want your kitty to be scared for hours or do you want us to be able to contact you immediately and make sure it's safely brought home? (if you were nervous, the kitty was fine!)

Identifying the animal/it's owner if there is a report from another resident. Sometimes this is a dog peeing on carpet and the dog's owner doesn't make the effort to clean it up. Say what you will about tattling, but that's a public health issue and try as we might, that carpet might hold onto that scent forever if other dogs catch a whiff. Do you want to live surrounded by urine smells?

Identifying the animal/it's owner if there is an altercation with another resident/animal. The reality is that some dogs do not do well with other dogs, and if there is a shared dog area, you sometimes have very unfortunate circumstances where one dog becomes an aggressor. Knowing who it belongs to allows us to have a discussion with that dog owner about how to either better manage their dog around other dogs, possibly restrict access to the shared pet areas, and only in the absolute worst case scenarios that I've heard of where someone's pet was rushed into emergency surgery, asked to have the aggressive animal leave the premises. (also in this instance that I'm familiar with, the hurt dog made a full recovery!)

If someone's dog looks like a mixed breed of one of the ones we restrict (which is its own stupid rule but I have no power over it), I just. Look away. Not my business. Most of my colleagues are generally of the same mind. Whose to say what breed it is without a blood test? I'm not gonna test that dog's blood.

All in all, if you're skeptical about sending pet pics, use your best judgement based on the type of property you're renting and who owns it! Always look up your landlord if you can!

Also yes, I do enjoy looking at your pet photos. Someone once sent us a picture of their cat named Thumbs and I was obsessed for days.

i feel like i’m going insane. what fucking alternate dimension are these people living in. who thinks this way about landlords

[catsanddishes]

About two months ago I posted about Emily's health - we'd been to the vet for urinary issues twice in as many weeks at that point, and we didn't have a definitive answer yet. I want to write up the narrative of what's been happening just to get it down mostly for myself, so this will be a long post about medical stuff, please read with care if you read at all. Or, please enjoy these photos of Emily napping on my tummy in bed and skip the novel if you like. I'll put a tl;dr at the bottom.

BACKSTORY

At the time of the last post (Aug. 15) we were assuming some kind of kidney or bladder stone - her bloodwork was fine, and two cultures for UTI came back negative. Stones are hard to diagnose and can be really small and there were some crystals in her urine so it seemed likely. She also had extremely diluted urine, which was strange since the bloodwork showed normal kidney function (cats often suffer kidney problems in old age - Em is 12). But she does love her water fountain so maybe she was just over-hydrating in her desire to feel better.

Her primary symptom was that she would suddenly freeze and pee in the middle of whatever she was doing - napping, often. She'd stand up, pee, and then stare around confusedly and yowl over it. And I mean, like, yowl. The first time it happened, I realized my spouse had left the litter boxes stacked after cleaning up in the cat closet (this actually took me a bit to figure out because I wasn't totally sure if she'd just spit up water or peed, that's how diluted her urine was). So maybe she'd gone 24 hours without peeing since the box wasn't super accessible. But it happened twice again the next day, and we thought maybe she gave herself a UTI from holding it in or something?? We took her in to the emergency vet since it was a weekend, saying she's peeing outside the litter box. The doctors asked, is she straining to urinate? To which I had to say, well, I don't know? I've not caught her in the littler box trying and failing, I only know that she's suddenly peeing and seeming very startled by it. There's no posturing or effort as far I can tell, but what do I know, I'm not a doctor? She seemed uncomfortable, but more because it took her by surprise and sometimes ended up with wet legs from her own pee.

Both the emergency vet and regular vet follow-up eliminated UTI and confirmed "perfect" bloodwork. So the litter box stacking was maybe a red herring or made a stone get worse? We got her on a urinary care prescription food that's also supposed to be good for "stress" (tbh, Emily has always been an anxious cat - she overgrooms, and has a belly empty of fur because of it). The food would help break up stones, and she was on a painkiller to help with any pain that urinating might be causing.

AFTER THE AUGUST 15TH POST

When we ran out of one form of the painkiller a little less than a week after her visit with the regular vet, she made it maybe 24 hours before she had another peeing episode. She'd been okay for a few days at that point. I had been reluctant to keep her on painkillers as a permanent thing, but we got more since it was the one thing that seemed to be reliably helping. And we could get it in a capsule format which we could pop open and mix the powder into her new wet food for easy intake. At least her pee was more normal colored (and unfortunately smelling), so the urinary care food was obviously doing some good.

But she was still having episodes after a few more days and they seemed to happen when the painkiller would be wearing off. The episodes were also getting worse over the course of the month throughout this whole thing. She started huffing and drooling a bit when they happened. She stopped yowling about it, though. We thought we would just have to wait it out til the food improved her insides. But the episodes kept happening and she was freezing up for longer each time and drooling more. Her tail would puff out. We thought, could she possibly be having seizures?? But none of these incidents lasted more than maybe 20-30 seconds, and again, we're not doctors, what do we know... We thought we just have to be patient, pick up the new painkiller script, she'll get better. Maybe these are panic attacks she's having since the peeing is upsetting and it'll get better when her GI tract is settled.

THE SCARY PART

On August 26th, I had given Em her morning food with painkiller and was getting read to go to work. My spouse had already left. Emily, sitting near her food dish, suddenly froze up and peed and I was exasperated, but this time instead of drooling a bit and shaking it off, she panted like she couldn't breath, drooled like a fountain and it didn't stop. I tried to touch her to pet her and calm her down. She flailed. She tried to scramble away, but her legs didn't seem to want to work. She crashed into a nearby box and fell over. She lay on her side twitching and huffing and drooling and I knew it was a seizure and I thought I was watching my baby die. I was afraid to touch her so I sat on the floor crying over my cat for maybe 45 seconds, maybe a minute, while our other cat sat nearby looking confused, and then she rolled over onto her belly and breathed normally. She was dazed for another minute, but then was up and demanding to be fed. Every episode would always be followed by demands for snacks, so at least it was easy to get her to eat the new food. Still crying, I fed her and called my spouse to get off at the next train stop and come home, we had to take her back in.

Emily hates the carrier and she hates the car. The emergency vet we trust is right near my work, but it's a half an hour by car and often 45 minutes to an hour in morning traffic. She cries almost the whole time every time, no matter how often we go. Though once at a vet, she's always very good and doesn't fight the techs and doctors at all. She's a very good girl minus the crying, and everyone loves her.

It was a long day at the hospital. I went into work for a few hours because it was a Monday, and that's the day that I have to order all the supplies for the shop for the week. It's difficult to pass off on someone else on short notice. I told the hospital staff I was bringing her in for what sure fucking looked like a seizure an hour ago, and now I was re-evaluating all her other episodes in this light. I only had video of the tail end of a much earlier incident, it was in poor light and just showed her looking puffy and drooling a bit. I hadn't videoed that morning because my phone wasn't in my hand and I was afraid to leaver her side. The doctors were baffled, and still were describing her episodes as "straining to urinate". But they prepared a list of tests and boxes to tick to figure things out. Hoping to actually find the stones they assumed were in there, they suggested an ultrasound. I thought, I'm pretty sure that's not it at this point, but it's probably best to truly eliminate all the possibilities before we go on to MRIs or whatever else was on their barrage. I don't even remember anymore. There were a lot of technical words thrown at us.

THE DIAGNOSIS

The ultrasound came back with this: there's a mass in her intestine. It's probably cancer. A biopsy confirmed: gastrointestinal lymphoma. The emergency doctor wasn't sure exactly how this was causing the peeing problems, since it's not affecting the kidney or the urinary tract directly, but maybe something was putting pressure on something else. She thought we'd caught it early, but it was possible it was elsewhere and just not showing up as a mass elsewhere yet.

We made an appointment with the oncology department for Wednesday morning. We thought, even if the doctors aren't convinced yet, we are. Its seizures and this cancer is in her brain. But we'll go to the specialist and see what they say. I took video of her next episode, though the seizures she had in the day between the visits were much more mild and shorter and she didn't fall over, though she wobbled. The oncologist didn't feel comfortable saying for sure it was seizures from the video, but while she was in on Wednesday, she had one, and the oncologist got the neurologist to come look at her while it was happening. They confirmed yep, seizure, and she can't see (or hear, likely, though how would you test that) while it's happening. That's why she freaked when I touched her on Monday because she didn't know what was touching her. I probably made that one worse.

The prognosis was - without treatment (or rather, just drugs to make her feel better, but not do anything about the cancer) she'd have maybe a couple weeks, maybe a month. With chemo, she could have 4 to 6 months, maybe a year if she's in the 5% who respond really well. There's also 5% whose cancer won't respond at all. Chemo for cats isn't like human chemo. You can't get so aggressive that you actually eliminate all the cancer. You can't explain to a cat what's happening, and chemo makes you feel sick. Like you're dying if you're a human. If a cat thinks they're dying for an extended period of time, they will probably die. They'll just shut themselves down, they don't know it's temporary, they can't understand your reassurances. So the chemo is just enough to reduce the cancer without making them feel too sick. You can't give them enough to totally eliminate it, unfortunately, just buy time.

The course of chemo we chose is one pill every three weeks for six doses. This option was the only one that was a form of chemo medication that can cross the blood-brain barrier and get at the cancer that's somewhere in there giving her seizures. Each dose is a hospital visit so they can check her bloodwork to make sure she's well enough to handle the chemo. At home, she has to take a steroid once a day to combat the chemo depressing her appetite and to make her feel better overall. She also will have to take anti-seizure medication for the rest of her life (assuming her life extends beyond the course of the chemo treatment).

All of this will cost us somewhere in the range of $7k over the course of treatment. On top of the costs we'd already paid: two emergency hospital visits, one regular vet visit, prescription food, and other medications. Emily is going to cost us as much as the HVAC unit we had to replace earlier this year. Between these two things, we're wiping out a huge chunk of savings. We're lucky my spouse has a decently well-paying job with regular raises. We're lucky I took on a second job for a while and got a raise at my full time. We're lucky I'm done with student loans and his got suspended during some of the pandemic and next year he'll be able to get the rest forgiven. We have the money to do this and I'm so grateful we can afford it.

THE NEXT SIX WEEKS / TREATMENT

So we go home with one radioactive cat (litter box must be cleaned promptly when she goes and with gloves for a couple days after each dose), and two new medications. We wean her off the painkiller pretty much after the first day or two because, while it may have been helping her be a little more chill, it's clearly not the most effective drug of our little pharmacy. The anti-seizure medication must be given 3x day, every 8 hours. The steroid is once a day. We started off with liquid versions of the two new meds, and the anti-seizure one she ate no problem mixed into her (expensive, probably not necessary but we bought two cases of it) wet food. The steroid smelled terrible, even to me. Like fake oranges or strawberries? She absolutely refused it, even with tuna, so I was forced to try to shove a syringe full down her throat and hope some of it made it down. After two attempts at that, we emailed the hospital so I could pick up a pill version and we got some pill pocket treats. That worked much better.

The first 24 hours, she still had three seizures. Even though the meds should have started working within hours. The hospital team said the dose range could go up to .5ml more than what was listed on the bottle, so we upped her to the max and the seizures stopped. This medication also has side effects of tiredness and potentially lessened appetite. But she bounced back within couple days and was eating normally and seemed to be in good spirits. We also got a pill version of this one since she seemed to like the pill pockets, and that way we could just give her the little bit of extra dosage in the wet food and not be trying to make her eat it all in her food.

The first three weeks went well. She got to her second chemo dose with flying colors. It was such a relief to not be cleaning cat pee out of the carpet or scrubbing tile or running blankets through the wash several times a day, and worrying about her next episode constantly. The hardest part was days when my spouse had to be in the office rather than work from home (my work is retail, no way to do that from home..), so the timing of her 3x a day was messed up. It's really only once a week since I have one weekday off that overlaps with one of his in-office day, and the other day he's in, I get off an hour earlier (which is still not exactly on time for her afternoon dose, but close enough). But she didn't have problems after that initial adjustment period.

She got a second dose of chemo. Her appetite started to wane, and a few days after I'd told the doctor how great she was at eating pill pockets, she bit one in half by accident, got the taste of the pill in her mouth, and was put off the treats. We had bought several bags, of course. We got a different flavor and thought, we'll come back to this first one. Nope, she wasn't having it. Flat out refused to even lick a pill pocket treat. So we switched back to putting the full dose of anti-seizure in her food and topping it with tuna to get her to eat it. Three times day we had to sit with her and coach her through a bowl, making sure she got at least 90% of it down, and making sure Isabel didn't eat any of it. If we put some fresh catnip leaves on it towards the end, that usually got her to finish it up. Thank goodness the catnip seeds sprouted and did well this year.

But the steroid we just had to give her the pill, since that didn't come in any other appetizing form. It's a very small pill, so I was mostly just holding her down and shoving it in her mouth. It's a good thing we've had 12 years of love and affection and she trusts me not to hurt her. She didn't like it, by any stretch, but it was going okay.

My spouse wasn't as good at it, though, and as we approached the midway point to the next chemo, she was seriously struggling to eat We had to start giving her the anti-seizure in pill form just to make sure she got it. That also means she was getting a smaller dose of it, since we weren't able to get her to eat a follow up little bit in wet food. The only thing she wanted to eat was treats.

So it's week three and we're having to give a cat 4 pills a day - 8:30am, 5:30pm, 8pm (steroid), 12:30am. She hates it, and increasingly fights us over it. We get a pill shooter that holds the pill so you don't have to put your fingers in an angry cat's mouth. It helps a bit, but sometimes it takes 4 tries before we can get it down her throat. She spits, she drools to try to keep it out of her. If you catch her sleepy, she fights less, but if she's not sleeping somewhere convenient, she'll know what you're up to when you pick her up. We try various other foods to make "pill pockets" out of, but none work more than once. It's a bad week and half leading up to the next chemo. We're exhausted, we're emotionally wrung out. We have scratches all over our hands. I've got a fingernail cracked with a bruise underneath where she bit down hard.

WHERE WE ARE NOW

At her third appointment, it's time for the midway tests to see how well the cancer is responding. The good news is that the mass in her intestine is noticeably reduced!

We also get the bad news that her bloodwork shows the kidney function is low. It's probably just an infection since her immune system is shot, but it means she can't have chemo today and she needs to take an antibiotic to treat it. They send us home with an ear cream to stimulate appetite and the antibiotic is once a day and supposedly a yummy chewable tablet. The ear cream is demon magic and we can give her the anti-seizure in food again. We keep her at the smaller dose size, though, since she still hasn't had any seizures, even with all the stress.

The bottle of antibiotics says "highly palatable" and "keep well sealed", as if it's so good cats are going to be clawing at the lid to get at it. WHAT A LIE. She doesn't eat it with her treats or the brand new bag of dry food (her favorite after treats). I chop it up and chop up treats to go with it. That works once. I chop it up and hide it in tuna. That sort of works, but she's clearly not thrilled about it, despite the magical hunger-inducing ear cream. And it puts her off the wet food again, though she's crazy for the fresh bag of dry food.

Somehow we make it through one more week, and though her kidneys aren't perfect, they are improved enough for chemo. That was this past Monday - Oct. 14th. They said we have to keep up the antibiotics for another week to make sure the infection is cleared out. I'm not sure how we'll trick her into several more days of it, but I've just done a new dose of ear cream since her appetite for dry food was waning again. She happily downed wet food with tuna sans meds today, so we'll try that again with her anti-seizure tonight.

The doctors also said we could try to bring her down to anti-seizure meds just twice a day since she's doing so well and hasn't had a breakthrough seizure on the smaller dose. So we're on day three of that and okay so far, no seizures. Twice a day actually will let us live our lives a little more easily. My spouse is out of the country next week, so if you've made it this far, pls send me good vibes while I do this on my own!

GOOD NEWS

The good new overall is that Emily has responded really well in an existential sense to all this. She had been hiding inside the couch, being very lethargic, etc. before we got the cancer diagnosis. She acted like a very ill cat for several weeks, seemingly out of the blue. Up til then, you wouldn't have even guessed that she was technically elderly. Now although she has good and bad days on energy, she's no longer hiding. At all. Not even to get away from being given meds. I think the only times she's gone inside the couch has been to hide from the vacuum cleaner. She sleeps with me every night. She comes to sit on a lap and purrs within 20 minutes of shoving pills in her. She clearly doesn't think she's sick, even if she does have lethargic days sometimes. I think she might on some level understand that we're trying to help her - or at least, we're not trying to hurt her - even though her body makes her fight us on pills and she can't help how she feels about food. She's such a good cat. I can't express how much I love her.

At the outset when we got the diagnosis, I thought, she'll make to Christmas probably... maybe... I couldn't see past the end of the year, honestly. I'm feeling a lot more optimistic that she could make the full six months, maybe longer now. I'm still not looking very far into the future, and mostly I'm just treasuring every peaceful moment I have with her. It's still a very day-by-day thing. I'm never sure how well she'll take her meds and that still gives me anxiety at every dose. But I'm going to be getting more sleep now that I don't have to do medication at midnight, so that helps with the mental/emotional stability. We're doing mostly okay now. I'm so glad all the drugs do their jobs and make her feel normal.

TL;DR

Emily appeared to be having urinary issues, but they were, in fact mini seizures that made her lose bladder control, caused by cancer (lymphoma). She's halfway through a course of chemo and seems to be responding well to it - it will buy her six months to a year at best. Giving cats medication is hard, and this whole thing has wrung us out, emotionally (and $$). But Em doesn't know she's sick anymore and she's as sweet as ever when you're not making her take pills!

[miss-tina-susanne]

Athenais once said...

"Yes. On top of being quite hot, I am also very exasperating."

"My brain is a bag of cats, and they are all scratchy, and tell me horrid things."

"Every morning, when I overthink, I run back home to Gahlen and set things on fire. It's become a habit. I sit in the study and watch fires spread all around me, and sometimes I shove my hand in there just so it quiets the madness in my mind. Except today. Today I decided to come back here instead, and not set your house on fire, because I have better manners than that."

"I'll be sure to add 'High Sentinel Hibernation' into my calendar, then. Bring you a fish every day."

"And the cats in my head DO talk. Your cats don't talk, maybe, and you do not have cats."

"I'm a little too deeply entrenched in feels to want to leave, and that irks me, because I know you don't feel the same. So I'm annoyed at myself for being this deeply entrenched, because, as I said: This should be fun, sexy, and easy. I should be sucking your dick. In front of a mirror."

"I'm not going anywhere. I just need to know that I'm staying for a reason."

"You know, I've been called 'too much' by many men in my life. And maybe I do want a lot. But I also want you. I want to be with you."

"He wouldn't have recognized me after that last death. Now he probably won't recognize his own mother."

"You know, the whole point about making an 'I would buy you a drink' joke in an empty tavern is so you don't actually have to do it."

"It's literally so simple. Repeat after me: When Celyn does pushups, he does not push himself up - he pushes the world down."

"I'd hand you back the hoe, but I have my reservations, being jealous."

"I tried to smile and wink, and then I felt myself throw up a little."

"He means absolutely the most charming, enchanting creature he has ever met."

"It's alright. Use your words."

"I have suddenly decided to take up the wimple and evoke eternal maidenhood."

"I'm going to fucking choke you to death."

"How dare you doubt my bosoms. They are wonderful in every life, of this I am certain."

"You're clearly a better woman than I ever will be. I'll hang up my hat."

"I promise not to break your bones. Or at least the one important one."

"Sure. You can stab her from the front and I will stab her from the back."

"Have you ever heard that tale of the alchemist king whose touch turned everything to gold? I wonder how he slapped the meat."

"Thanks. I gave myself an involuntary nose-twitch just for you."

"You didn't have to die to get me out of your head, idiot."

"I don't care. Let them writhe in agony. All of them."

"In short, he did a Chuen thing."

"Me? Jealous? Of undead dwarf babies?"

"I hate you. And I want to kiss you. And I want to murder you."

"You know how the sunlight hits the rockface of a cliff on hot days? And it must be so, so terrible to be that rock, burning with no real way to cool down. And then the ocean slaps you in the face with cold water, and it hurts, but it also hurts so good?"

"Studied a lot of centaur butts, have we?"

"My mind takes me here one moment, and then somewhere else, the other. I'm often terrible at focusing on things, but when you're around, there's an odd clarity I don't understand. Maybe you're slowly absorbing my crazy, in which case, you're already helping."

"For all intents and purposes, my hot bitch persona is really only useful for keeping people away."

"Athenais Alliette: Magnussing your powligmus since 1524."

"Special, like don't eat the glue special?"

"It's so easy to make penile jokes. And I am clearly five years old with a crass sense of humour."

"Gods, your hands are full. Are you carrying the burden of responsibility with you?"

"We crashed together like two forlorn stars, and now we cannot be pried apart for fear of destroying both. What a life."

"Darling, I know you're a potent man, but even a potent man cannot stop a fire with the strength of his urine."

"Catography is the art of making maps to every single cat you love."