#which is great i love that what a perspective. to everyone else you're like. mostly fine? a bit tired maybe. even towards amaurot

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

im replaying lil bits of shb instead of progressing the msq bc i love it and man the really REALLY awkward little walk urianger has to do to when you enter rak'tika, to get y'shtola to twig what's going on with you without saying anything TOO revealing, is so fun to me.

you can see the moment where it clicks for her, too. in the moment you assume she's just surprised you're still doing hero bullshit but that was not an "it cannot be" of surprise or admiration. bc going back to that cutscene with context, she literally already couldn't tell you were a person until you spoke. and then urianger was so brazenly like "yeah we're here to throw more lightwardens at them. you'll help, right?" there was no way that she wasn't immediately running the numbers on how you looked already and not even halfway done with your ostensible mission, and going hmm, nope, don't like that. don't like that at all. don't know what the fuck urianger is thinking but i am absolutely not a fan.

[balioc]

Holiday Engineering: What Not to Do

We can learn a lot from Chanukah, because Chanukah is a garbage-tier holiday.

I mean this in a mostly-detached, mostly-analytic way. Like many people who were raised Jewish, I have some very fond and happy memories of Chanukah. Anything can accrue fond and happy memories, if you have a way of getting people to do it. But Chanukah is full of features that actively detract from its being resonant, impressive, memorable, or fun. It is an anti-advertisement for its community.

If you're a would-be designer-of-holidays, this is actually a really useful thing. Mimicking the good and successful holidays is quite hard; their quality tends to hinge on a lot of idiosyncratic hard-to-replicate factors, and "invent something as cool and punchy as the $WHATEVER" can be a tall order. But it's easy to look at a design failure and say, "I"m not going to do that."

With that, let's go into the details:

CHANUKAH: THE GOOD

Timing. It's a midwinter festival-of-lights. Solid start. Everyone loves those. Brightness and festival cheer, in the long cold winter nights, is practically a need for many. The holiday mostly skates by just on being the winter light festival for the Jews. A+. Or, really, we should knock that down to an A, because Chanukah usually comes too early to be ideal for this purpose, but -- still, quite good.

Traditional food (side dishes). Latkes are incredibly popular, and for excellent reason. If you're trying to settle on a food that everyone will love, "fried potatoes" is a damn good choice.

CHANUKAH: THE NEUTRAL

Symbols. There's really just one that matters: the chanukiyah (nine-branched menorah). Which is, on paper, a very cool and snappy symbol. Distinctive silhouette, ritual engagement, plus the allure of fire. But it loses a lot of points for the fact that you don't actually light the whole damn thing, and get the proper visual effect, until the very end of a long-ass holiday when everyone's enthusiasm and attention have ebbed. On the first night, in particular, you light just two candles in your chanukiyah, and it looks lopsided and sad.

Traditional food (sweets). Jelly donuts are fine, I guess, if uninspiring and uninspired. Chanukah gelt is pretty lame as candy goes...but from a holiday-design perspective, it's hard to go too far wrong with giving kids candy.

Music. "Maoz Tzur" is kinda pretty. "Oy Chanukah!" is kinda fun. That's pretty much it, barring some silly kids' music (and I guess that Adam Sandler thing). Nothing that will knock anyone's socks off. But, honestly, two decent songs is more than many good holidays have.

Gifts. Being the big annual gifting holiday is a double-edged sword. It's some super-powerful mojo, culturally speaking. People are obsessed with giving and receiving gifts, in a way that's very hard to excise or evade, no matter how often you trot out your utilitarian language about deadweight loss. Chanukah gets a lot of its traction out of the fact that it's the holiday where you get presents. But. (a) In the modern world, the gifting holiday is unavoidably a locus of stress and misery for many people, and Chanukah doesn't have nearly enough upside serving to support that burden. (b) Chanukah is bad at being a gifting holiday. The gifting is not well-integrated into the event, it's a tacked-on thing copied over from Christmas, and it shows. There's no real ritual surrounding it, no presents-under-the-Christmas-tree equivalent, certainly no Santa Claus. Worse yet, the eight-day-holiday thing means that either you need a set of gifts whose awesomeness is equally divisible by eight (mega-awkward), or else you have inconsistencies and disappointments.

CHANUKAH: THE BAD

Theme. What is the holiday about, when everything is said and done? What is our key takeaway message from all the shit we're doing. "God is great, God looks out for His people, God performs mighty miracles." Stop. Shut up. You fail. That's every holiday, if you're operating within a religious tradition. You need something more than that, something powerful and deep and important and special, to be even halfway-decent as a holiday. But for the vast majority of Jews (including Jews in the most orthodox and observant denominations), that's pretty much all you get. Because...

Mythology. The story of Chanukah, the holiday's narrative raison d'etre, is just unconscionably bad. In some extremely vague sense, it's a story about Jews overthrowing foreign oppressors and casting off foreign influences...which is already pretty bad from a modern liberal perspective, we don't like jingoistic ethnonationalism these days. But the actual events of the Chanukah story are less about Jews-against-foreigners than they are about Jews-against-other-Jews. It is a story about fanatics seizing power and murdering cosmopolitans. Virtually everyone hates that shit, up to and including the most tribal-minded Jews. The rabbis of the Talmud were pretty iffy about Chanukah for exactly this reason, and didn't talk about it much, with the result that the holiday doesn't have much in the way of supporting cultural infrastructure. And you really can't tell the Chanukah myth without that horrible stuff; it's so baked-in that it gets incorporated into even the most sanitized propagandistic Hebrew-school versions of the tale (with exactly the effects that you'd expect on Hebrew school students). The miracle of the oil feels like a tacked-on narrative coda, because it is, because without it the only possible moral of the story would be "kill your neighbor if he's not pious enough for you." But it's much too little, much too late. The miracle of the oil is super lame by miracle standards: no one is saved from danger, there are no memorable SFX, the whole thing is relevant only to the rituals of a long-vanished Temple.

[There are several lessons that can be learned from this particular problem, at multiple levels of abstraction.]

Structure. You can have a good eight-day holiday, but a festival of that length needs an arc. The days need to be distinct from each other. You need to be either building up to a climax, or -- more commonly, as with Passover and [the twelve days of] Christmas -- coming down from a main celebration at the beginning in a long pleasant haze of semi-special time. Chanukah is flat and internally undifferentiated, except for the addition of more candles to the chanukiyah. You can't sustain real holiday feeling that long, and there's no particular day on which you're supposed to do anything special, so it all just turns into a mush of "how much do we care right this moment?"

Activities. The traditional dreidel game is the worst, most boring, most unbalanced game in the history of games. Pushing it on children only makes those children hate Chanukah, and Judaism, and games, and you.

Traditional food (entrees). There's no classic Chanukah dish that can serve as a viable main course, unless you're one of those people who can happily eat fried potatoes as an entire meal. This is a glaring omission. It's particularly bad for Chanukah, because Chanukah has so little else going for it that it really needs to lean hard on the standard holiday "gather for a festive meal" thing.

Social role. As many people will eagerly tell you, Chanukah was a pretty minor holiday for most of Jewish history; it got big largely because of a marketing push in the 19th and 20th centuries, mostly because people got scared about the prospect of the younger generations assimilating, and wanted to give them a holiday to compete with Christmas. Which is maybe the worst idea that anyone has ever had. For more reasons that I can easily list here, modern Western Christmas is an absolute SSS-tier holiday, one of the very best of all time. Setting yourself up as a direct competitor to Christmas -- inviting your own people to make that comparison -- is tantamount to telling them that your traditions and your community are worthless and weak, and that they should join the ranks of the gentiles. And that would be true even if your own offering were something halfway decent. Trying to do it with Chanukah...it's like Estonia declaring war on the US. It's the ultimate "we have food at home." It is, if you'll pardon my saying so, Christian rock.

[menlove]

Sorry if you’ve been asked this already, but do you have any mclennon fic recs for 1967/pepper era?? I’m obsessed with the vibes around this time, and with Jane away John and Paul seemed to spend a lot of their free time during this period together, but I’ve had trouble finding much of anything. Thx!! <3

oooh good question ! i love love love the 1967/pepper era so let me look back in my ao3 history and see what i've got

these aren't all pepper's era, but they are all 1967 (w the exception of One that's not 67 but Is pepper's). put a 💖 next to ones i especially love

If You'll Shut Up About It, I Will

mature. au. 4k

The day after his birthday, Paul McCartney admits on national television that he's illegally had sex with men. On multiple occasions. But it's the media's responsibility not to spread these things, isn't it? Unfortunately (or fortunately), someone else is watching the broadcast, and wants to know why Paul has decided to declare he's queer to all and sundry when he's the one who's been waiting for Paul to give it a go. AKA, That LSD Interview but make it gayer. note: very interesting, short little au on if paul had come out as having had queer sex rather than having done lsd

you know i know when it's a dream

mature. 5k. In 1967, The Beatles visited Greece with the plan of purchasing an island they could call home. Of course, it was mostly John's idea. note: angsty, smutty little one-shot that hurt my heart

1967 💖

mature. 11.5k. au. In 1961, John Lennon and Paul McCartney left abruptly on a trip to Spain, via France. In 1967, they finally come home to face the consequences. note: not EXACTLY what you're looking for but hey the year is in the title..... but it's sooo good i'll rec this fic constantly. they do definitely have the same aesthetic that they did in real life 1967 too. but this one is so fucking good. it's got an experimental style that lets you see everyone's pov while still remaining really well written which imo is hard to do when you're doing a bunch of pov switches. but it's outsider perspective mclennon & explores the nuances of their relationship and how it was/wasn't impacted by fame and how they'd still be creative with each other if they'd never gotten famous from the beatles...... also they basically create the muppets which i think makes this worth reccing on its own tbh

The Places Where You Bend

mature. 2.6k. "Whatever the opposite of 'toppermost of the poppermost' might be, we're in it up to our asses." It's 1967, all hell is breaking loose, and Paul doesn't know if he can do this anymore. note: ugh i loved this one. it's angsty, as any beginning-of-the-end-of-their-relationship fic is, but it's sooo them and very bittersweet

Stop all the clocks 💖

mature. 30.8k. au. For the following kink meme prompt: ‘1967. After Brian dies, Paul decides not to go ahead with MMT, and takes John up to Scotland for a month instead.’ Also based on the following comment on said prompt: ‘pls someone let them fuck tenderly in 1967’ note: definitely an instant classic! super sweet au that makes you wish life had gone this way for them

Way Up Top 💖

explicit. 12k. Falling out of the sky, together. | Snapshots of the Beatles in Greece, July 1967 note: one of my all-time faves ughhhhhh i just love how they wrote everyone. like ofc the mclennon is great, but this one is so so good for just all around good characterization and writing

always, no sometimes 💖

explicit. 20k. Stolen moments from a single year. Or: four times someone nearly found John and Paul together, and the one time they found each other. Set around the recording of Sgt. Pepper, 1966. note: not 1967, but 100000% the vibe you're looking for. such a good fic. i honestly need to do a re-read bc it's been long enough, but this one was just. augh. so much mustache sex too.

shotgunning

explicit. 3.4k From the kink meme prompt: john/paul, shotgunning weed note: i don't Think this one has a year on it officially, but it definitely fits the vibe you're looking for!

Drop Chute

explicit. 1.9k. paul/robert as well "Paul does coke off Robert's dick and blows him in a public toilet. John is in the neighbouring stall and hates it." FFA asked and I delivered. note: ahhhh we love a good "john getting jealous of paul fucking other men" fic

again

explicit. 1.3k In the summer of ‘67, Paul knows exactly how lucky he is to be the man who gets to fuck John, and then eat him out, and then fuck him again, and then — note: it's smut and it's good smut what else can i say truly

Club Sandwich

mature. 4k. Some drug-fueled party in 1967. Paul ends up sandwiched between two men on the couch. As they start fondling and kissing him, John stumbles upon the scene… note: absolutely great. possessiveness and coke prince paul...... what else could i want from a fic

Carousel 💖

explicit. 3.4k 21 March, 1967. John accidentally drops acid during the mixing of Sgt Pepper. Paul drives him back to Cavendish and decides to take LSD for the first time. Based on true events. John's POV. note: definitely my favorite take on the "john and paul tripping together for the first time" story. so good and introspective.

you can get it wrong (and still think you're right)

explicit. 7.4k. Paul visits John at Weybridge. January, 1967. The laziest man in England, that article had said, and Paul thought suddenly of John, lounging: John, turning the pages of a book with one languid hand, his hair mussed and fetching, making pithy comments to empty rooms. Or maybe he didn’t speak at all when he was alone; Paul realized that he didn’t know anymore. note: aghhhh another great one by stonedlennon. the bittersweetness of their relationship.... love this one a lot tbh

Angles

explicit. 2.7k. John takes another languid drag of his cigarette, his eyes alight now when they look into the lens, meeting Paul's. He's a marvellous subject. They should put him in every movie. "That it?" Paul asks—leading. Hungry. "You're the director. Give us a direction," John goads him. note: looove this one. but all of moeexyz's fics are so good so that's to be expected tbh

an orgasm of sound 💖

explicit. 5.3k “It was a good piece of work between Paul and me. I had the ‘I read the news today’ bit, and it turned Paul on, because now and then we really turn each other on with a bit of song, and he just said ‘yeah’ – bang bang, like that.” — John Lennon Or, John and Paul work on A Day in the Life. note: another great one from moeexyz! this one is..... well. Well. it's very good. what more could i ask for in life than piano sex and a day in the life

[blackbird-brewster]

Not that anyone asked, but here are a few things that truly freed me as a writer and ultimately made my writing so much better:

I started writing for myself. Truly writing for myself, not the 'I write for myself' mantra I'd parrot to people while internally still writing with the mindset of 'this is what readers want to see happen'. That shift really happened when I began writing for a rare pair which previously only had two fics to their tag on AO3. By posting in such a small tag, I was instantly freed from constantly comparing myself and my fics to everyone else. I went from 'this is what readers want, even if it's not necessarily what I want to happen' to 'this is what I want and it's great if other people enjoy it too'.

I let go of the rigid set of arbitrary rules I'd always applied to my writing. The main one was the rule that any chapters/one-shots shouldn't be longer than 3500 words in length. When I started letting myself write until the chapter/one-shot was done, regardless of length it added so much more to my writing, because I wasn't limiting myself to try and tell every story within the same set of word count parameters. Suddenly, I was writing fics that were two, three, or even four times the length of my previously published works and they were infinitely better overall because I was able to fully explore characterisation and plot.

I really let myself get a bit weird in style. I've always written fanfic from third person, past tense as a personal preference. But I started experimenting with other things: a fic where half of the story is written in flashbacks (my favourite fic I've ever written), a fic that's stream of consciousness and mostly freeform (my most well regarded fic by readers), a fic that used transcripts from canon as a way to misdirect the reader until the ending reveals a major twist (readers were so (affectionately) shocked by the ending). While I still mostly write in third person, past tense, the above fics have forever bettered me as a writer.

I stopped obsessing about stats. I used to spend so much time on the stats page of AO3, constantly comparing my fics to other people's. I used to worry myself into a panic spiral by constantly wondering why similar fics by other people had so many more hits/kudos/comments than my works. When I finally stopped checking stats nonstop, I began to truly accept that numbers aren't important. There will always be authors/fics that are more popular than me and that's okay. I realised by constantly thinking 'why don't I have more X' I was subtly turning my nose up to all of the readers who do love my work. I was saying 'You're not enough, I need more' and that wasn't fair to both me and my readers! Now, I don't worry about numbers and instead cherish every single person who reads/kudos/comments on my fics.

None of this is to say I don't ever fret over stats or whether or not readers will like what I write -- but shifting my perspectives and letting go of arbitrary self-enforced rules didn't only make my writing better, but it's also improved the way I approach writing in general, and it's also improved my overall mental health.

[toasts-httyd-hyperfixation]

Alright i can't decide so y'all are fixin to do it for me

I have several things i wanna work on but i cant pick one to do so ive been doin none of em

Options are

Redoing the Httyd Timeline and Ages post i made a while ago. Its all mostly accurate and the things not explicitly stated in canon i still stand by, but i found a couple other things to add in, and overall its a lil messy cause its from when first started making longer posts, so it could just do with an overhaul to clear it up a bit

Im trying to go through and make a Full AU list, with Name and a summary of what its about, so i can actually talk about em here, as well as sorting all other AUs out properly. These were all talked mostly via the Discord Server, so its literally sorting through whats gotta be hundreds of thousands of messages from over the course of >1 year. Which its great because ive deeply enjoyed talking to everyone ( Shout out to the Discord Buddies, Love yall, you're the Best🫶🫶) but my god, i should have kept on top of it lol.

This one i don't know if anyone else even really is interested in, but y'all are getting it eventually regardless, because ya know you can't stop me from making posts here, no matter how much yall may want to sometimes (Toothfull my beloved <3). Anyway the gist of this one is, idk if its just me, but a lotta times when i hear ages in a book, i understand it, but it doesn't really connect. So i like to go and find other characters and people that are the same age, especially in like movie or shows, where i can look at people that are the same age and go "Holy Shit, they're just babies" or such as the like as that if they're older (Mostly in Alvins case, that man is not as old as a lot of yall probably think he is, or maybe you don't, who am i to say what you do or do not think)

Number 4 is essentially the same thing as number 3 but height related instead. I just like making visual comparisons for a lot of these things, cause it helps put things into perspective, as well as its nice for like drawing and stuff.

This ones just Goofy. I have several sillier ships that ive had over the years, some that just fall into crack ship territory. Some of them i do actually think would be cute/sweet, others are just for the sake of going "Could you fuckin imagine". So im making a poll, much like this one, with a brief explanation, and then yall get to vote on em. I dont know if itll be for the Worst, The best, Which One is y'all's favorite, i dunno, but its gonna be something.

And then the last one i can think of is, i really don't know how to explain it, but it's talking about how, in my opinion, the Vikings view of hiccup is being accurately portrayed? Like, that's a really bad summary, but i can't think of how to explain it better so, this is kind of a vague, mystery option

Anyways, those are the options i got for now

Im probably forgetting something but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everything'll eventually got done

So with that said

[mylittleredgirl]

Hi! I'm so excited you're finally watching MASH! I hope you enjoy it and I selfishly hope you grow to like Margaret who starts off as not great and then becomes great and my fav.

i am having a great time!! i started at the beginning of season one and just finished season two. some of the discs in the complete series set i got as a gift last year don't play right or cut out mid-episode, which is driving me a little nuts, but i guess i'm having the classic syndicated tv experience of randomly missing stuff and always having some episode i've never seen floating out there forever.

my long form thoughts so far for those interested:

it's such a great collection of characters for comedy, because they are all pathetic and terrible in their own unique way, but are so charming and funny and easy to watch while they commit their little crimes against common sense.

i really like the mix of episodes -- the We're Having A Caper episodes and then the ones where it's like we're just kind of living here and things happen in some kind of order, but the things aren't necessarily related, which feels very appropriate for the setting.

i'm watching without the laugh track, which highlights one of my favorite things, which is that the main and background characters laugh out loud at what's happening. it gives the show such a lived-in and messy feeling. i just came off of watching the good place 5 times in a row, where the dialogue and plot are especially tightly packed, so this feels especially like it has a lot of just hanging out.

i keep thinking about how i'm watching this show fifty years later, not knowing what is the 70s lampooning itself, what is the 70s lampooning the 50s, and what is actually being played straight but i assume is a joke because of my perspective. some scenes are hard to watch on purpose and some are hard to watch by accident.

i wish i were watching it with my dad so he could keep pausing it to explain things to me, even if they don't need explaining, because i think that would add to the experience.

character feelings after two seasons:

hawkeye: alan alda being so charming and having such great timing really makes this an easy get. of course i'm going to love him equally in both success and failure (mostly failure).

trapper: my bestie!!! there's something about his face that makes me feel like i know him personally. i just love his physical acting choices. it's always funny. my fave i think.

margaret: i definitely enjoy her!!! how can you not?? they introduce her as being both highly capable and The Sexiest American Woman In Korea, who either can have or has had every high ranking officer in the army, and then she's soooo horny for the most pathetic man alive that she can't function.

frank: the narrative requires him to suck sooooo much every minute of every episode, because everyone else also sucks, so he really needs to put his back into it. he's gotta be there and he does it well, idk what more to say.

henry: he fascinated me in season one because i was like... clearly he's supposed to be A Caricature, but i couldn't figure out which one, and then he turned out to be A Character instead. i love his complexity and his serious moments, but i don't tend to find drunk acting that funny, so a lot of his shtick is lost on me. i wonder if he's the only character (and maybe klinger?) where the laugh track would actually serve him.

radar: as a former assistant yeah bro i get it, you keep on keeping on.

father mulcahey: the only one who is not terrible at all so far even once. Protect Him. i am so happy every time he comes on screen.

klinger: i'm still warming up to him as a character since he's mostly a sight gag still.

the parade of nurses: i have decided to take it at face value that 1) they are all here at war because they're super horny, 2) they are playing hard to get for fun, and 3) the pill was somehow invented before 1950, and under those conditions GET IT GIRLSSSSS.

my largest outstanding question: were they all actually functioning people before the war? i assume war did this to them but it's also possible they were like this before and their wives are all like THANK GOD they're overseas cheating on me because imagine how much worse it would be if they were like this but in my house.

on to season three!!!

[doubledyke]

hey, i’ve read some of your writing and i really like it. do you have any tips?

aw dude that's really sweet. i'm really self conscious about everything i write so i appreciate hearing that. i'm still learning myself, so my advice is probably gonna be kind of obvious yet nebulous (much like my writing). oh and im not great at following my own advice, but we can ignore that.

first and foremost i'd say try to have fun. get weird with it. don't stress too much about it. it's supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, so write what YOU like, how you like. the "rules" of grammar and composition are helpful, but you're allowed to be a lot more lax with creative writing. i know i am 👀

in my humble opinion, you can never have too many details, even- or especially- oddly specific ones. personal experiences are a great way to inject some minutiae, and i enjoy the insight they provide into the author's perspective, background, thought process, etc.. there are infinite other tools at your disposal too. like the number of times i've found myself browsing ancient, niche forums just to confirm one insignificant bit of information is ridiculous.

don't be afraid to take your story as seriously or unseriously as you want. sometimes i'll be snapped out of focus with the thought of "am i really writing this rn" 😂 but i just try to remind myself that i'm (usually) having fun, i'm not hurting anyone and someone might even enjoy the final product.

for eene, try to listen to the voice acting as much as you watch the animation. and don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone when writing a character. i'm neither comfortable, nor very good at writing for ed, but i nutted up and gave it a shot recently and yeah it's nuclear level cringe but i suppose it can't get any worse, right? RIGHT???.... i love learning new words, so when i'm writing for edd (and in general) you know i keep that thesaurus tab open. with eddy, there's always room for more irreverence. i'm also one of those people that cannot help but drop almost every g when i write eddy. and it's just as important to get their idiolects down, which can be tricky. BUT that's mostly if your goal is to stay close to the source material, which is definitely not necessary. i'm just not a very creative person 😂

if you're in a rut, skip to another section, or hell even another chapter. the fic i'm working on rn was hatched from a simple premise several months ago, so i started at the end and have been building on that. an unconventional starting point can be really helpful when you're struggling to start at all. because i'm me, it's turned into a nightmare beast that i can't seem to contain, but i still have a general idea of where we're going and we'll get there eventually lmfao. to that point, outlines, bullet points, notes, etc. are all very useful.

take breaks, let her sit for a while. i'll write a whole bunch, leave, come back to review and be like girl what the hell is this. fresh eyes make a big difference! however, don't be like me and get too caught up in the weeds. i make compulsive little tweaks of my shit up to the point and even after i hit post. more often than not, it's more stress than it's worth. i just can't help it 🥴

and then of course, read other people's stuff. i'm not much of a fiction reader but i make exceptions for the sake of my hyper-fixation. it truly does help to see different perspectives and styles of writing. everyone has a unique voice that really comes through in creative writing, which i love. i've gleaned a lot from reading other people's work as well. i frequently come across new and creative ideas for changing up sentence structure, dialogue tags and narration by reading stuff from fellow fans.

aaaaaand yeah idk what else really. like i said, i'm not the best at writing but i think as long as you're getting your ideas across in the way that you want to, you're golden. anyone who makes shitty remarks about someone else's writing can sit and spin honestly.

[prisoner-000]

"Cat" - Lyrics + Translation Analysis

As it happens to be Kazui's birthday, let's talk about the lyrics in Cat some more - Mostly using the official translation (since it's accurate for the most part) with a few exceptions. I'm not great at Japanese and only know a few words, so whenever further translation was needed, I hit the books. If I miss any context, feel free to add on!

I believe Cat, at its core, is about Kazui's decision to confess his love to an unseen second person in his MV OR confessing his 'sin' to his wife. This song is not about Hinako/his wife, though she plays an important role in the visuals of the song.

Alright, let's start with some minor things.

Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade

This pretty much stays the exact same in Japanese, with the exception of a reference to "kyogen", a japanese form of traditional drama. 'Kyogen'-type theater usually serves as intermissions between the longer and more serious 'Noh' plays, in which actors wear masks. Kyogen is more comedic in nature and uses slapstick.

(This line has probably been analyzed to death: It's a pretty clear indicator of Kazui being a self-declared 'master of deception'/having lied his whole life about something, like he mentions in his Voice Drama.)

Since when have I ignored my feelings?/It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself/I just wanted to touch, to caress/I just wanted to be touched

(Nothing interesting to add translation wise. I believe this batch of lyrics is Kazui wrestling with himself over whether he should tell the truth or not: In my opinion, this is about him being unsure whether to confess his love to the unseen second person in the scene we see later in his MV. (or if you're on copium like me, the bartender guy...))

So it’s wrong? Oh shove that!/INNOCENT, isn’t that right?/Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like/It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?

The only notable difference in translation is, in classic MILGRAM fashion, the word 'INNOCENT' being 'FORGIVEN' in the Japanese version. So, y'know. We know this.

(This is the only lyric that is a bit of a puzzle to me. Kazui believes he was in the right for lying to his wife/Hinako, because he couldn't have lived in a society where he'd be seen as strange or an outsider. So, he did what everyone else does around him: Once he's an older adult, he gets married. Not sure what the 'true love' part is about, in this case - maybe he believes to reach that desire he craves, he has to put up this charade.)

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye/That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What/Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit/Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple

Hate to disappoint but Kazui is not making an awesome reference to sex with "You-Know-What" - 'nanchatte' is used more like "what a joke" in this context. In the sense that - this is just what everyone does, you already know the rest of the story.

Interesting to note is that the official english lyrics were changed at some point: The third line of this batch used to say this:

Devotion (minus) love, lame, cheating

I think this may have been changed to remove the reference to 'cheating'. In English, cheating can be used as both cheating at games and as cheating in relationships - while in Japanese, these terms are very different. The term used in Japanese still seems to mean 'cheating' in the game way, fitting Kazui's gambling/showman theme.

(I think these lines are pretty clear to read from a story perspective. Kazui isn't actually in love with his wife and presents their relationship as a lie, he's 'cheating' at the game of love. Also, 'camouflage/disguise' is an interesting choice of words - disguising himself as what, trying to fit in with who? The norm, methinks. He wants to appeal to what everyone else is doing.)

Phew, oh wow I’m drunk/Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?

The english variant of this text uses 'like-like', and I'm not too sure why. The japanese version uses 'daisuki', perhaps a bit of a more cutesy way to say 'love' than 'aishiteru'. Maybe the intention in the japanese text is a more childish tone due to Kazui's intoxication.

(This lyric, in my opinion, is the big moment the first few batches of lyrics have been building to: Kazui confesses his feelings to whoever this mystery person is in a state of intoxication.)

I just wanted to ask, so it’s out in the open/I just got a little greedy

(Nothing too interesting translation wise. "I wanted to ask" obviously refers to "What would you do?" Pretty self-explanatory as well. Kazui believes his confession was selfish. He likely feels bad for his wife.)

All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud/I gotta keep it inside and act/The beating of this heart… see… it’s no longer about good and bad… it isn’t/I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream

'I gotta keep it inside and act' would perhaps be more accurately translated to 'I gotta drink it up and swallow it'. Reference to substance abuse. Awesome.

(I love repressed people!!! Kazui, since indulging in his desire and confessing his feelings, isn't sure about his place in the world. It's no longer about good or bad, his desire is impossible to make a reality, his only escape is fantasizing. Which leads us back to his constant references to 'dreaming', all the way to his lyrics in UNDERCOVER.)

I can’t stop, I can’t be normal/This feeling, it can’t be gratified/I can’t stop, I can’t be normal/This feeling, it’s yearning to be satisfied

(Oh boy, we're on yearning now, huh. More dilemmas in his head - he's fighting with himself on if his 'unnatural' desire is wrong, but he knows he can't live with himself if he doesn't fulfill it.)

Let's take a breather

(Unsure. Some translations say this is also 'Just a quick smoke/I need a quick smoke'. Maybe smoking is supposed to represent him indulging in his desire at this moment. That, or he wants a break from his inner conflict - Or even confessing to his wife is a 'breather'.)

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye/To be caressed by you, that would be perfection/I wanted to be loved, just like a cat/Maybe act capricious, on my word and at my fancy

Here's an interesting difference between the Japanese and English versions! In the original version, 'caressed' is 'pet'/'stroked'. The translation also removes the 'you' from the third line. So maybe this would be a little more accurate:

To be pet by you, that would be perfection/I wanted you to love me like a cat

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the last line is supposed to be in the original. DeepL translated it as 'I might want to leave it with you on a whim' - other sites translate it as something among the lines of 'making a deposit'. I'm at a loss of how to interpret this line. LOL.

(Perhaps important context to add is that, in Japanese context, 'being loved like a cat' would be receiving love but not giving much in return. People have pointed out the gay slang 'neko' reference to this about a dozen times before, and even though the lyrics do not use the kanji associated with the slang term, I believe it could have some merit.)

Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade/Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade

(This is a pretty 1:1 translation. What does 'lick that sin' mean? Man what do I know. It's another cat reference, though! I think the last line is referring to his verdict in the first trial, maybe. Perhaps Kazui is building up his lies even more, in some way, and repressing himself more? I'm a little unsure. It is plausible that he's growing more comfortable in his persona.)

Overall, I believe this song is Kazui finally coming to that decision of confessing his love for the unknown person. 'Half' may have been about him contemplating it, which would make 'Cat' a pretty direct continuation of this little story - I wonder if his third trial song might end the story!

I'm personally of the opinion that Kazui's 'desire' is either of the nature that he just can't stay in relationships for too long without getting bored (which cracks in some places, especially in the MV) or that he is some flavor of LGBT which is more taboo in Japan, especially for male role models like him - a cop, big, strong, masculine... Obviously he'd be pressured to enter a heteronormative life.

This was really fun to do! I might do this sort of thing with more future MILGRAM songs, so if you have any requests, let me know! If you have anything to add translation-wise, feel free to correct me. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

[badass-at-fandoming]

Hello! Love your yuri recs ! You seem to read alot of yuri so I was wondering if you knew of any yuri with bisexual leads? I love I'm in love with the villainess and was hoping to read more like that.

Ahh, thank you! I love yuri manga, and, thank God, there's always more to discover. I'll do my best, but if you want to do a real deep dive, I definitely recommend following @yurimother! Her Year End Yuri Guides are treasure troves. Here is the 2023 manga one. My blog here is mostly about queer vampire shenanigans.

I'm In Love with the Villainess is the crème de la crème! You have great taste! Because it's the best, it was hard to find another title where all those great elements came together: it's got slice-of-life school stuff, transmigration into a fantasy world, and explicit queer rep. Your mileage will vary with a lot of the below recs. Due to cultural factors and the Japanese publishing industry, most stories never state the characters' sexual orientation. It was a major deal when I'm In Love with the Villainess used the word "gay" and "lesbian." I tried to find manga with two or three of the story elements that make In Love with the Villainess great.

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! + Side Story: Girls Patch - This light novel/manga/anime/otome series is probably your best bet. An otome-obssessed high schooler dies and transmigrates into the otome Fortune Lover...as the villainess character! Determined to avoid her character's grim fate(s), Katerina basically goes out of her way to befriend everyone. Men AND women fall for Katerina, but she's oblivious to their feelings. The Girls Patch side stories features alternate scenarios where Katerina recognizes the women's feelings. The series isn't yuri in the traditional sense, but Katerina's chaotic bisexual energy is off the charts.

Revolutionary Girl Utena - After receiving a rose signet ring from a prince, Utena vows to become a prince herself. Her princely senses are outraged when she discovers her elite boarding school has a secret, underground sword tournament to win the hand of another student. This "Rose Bride" needs rescuing, and Utena steps up! The manga and anime differ, but either one are classics of the yuri genre. Probably the second closest of what you're looking for.

These next 4 are fantastical/transmigration yuri stories, but I couldn't figure out if the characters are bisexual:

The Executioner and Her Way of Life - Executioner Menou is tasked to protect her world from transmigrators by killing them, without mercy, on sight. She doesn't question her task until she meets Akari, whose immortality presents a serious problem. A darker story, but an interesting deep dive and perspective reversal on the transmigration genre.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady - In a magical country, Princess Anisphia has no magic except the "magicology" she remembers from a past life. Euphyllia is a magical genius with a broken engagement. Together, can they revolutionize magic as the world knows it?

5 Seconds Before a Witch Falls in Love - The witch Meg loves making trouble for local witch hunter Lilith, but a prank goes too far when Lilith turns into a cat. Stuck caring for her nemesis, Meg's feelings change from animosity to something else entirely.

The Whole of Humanity is Yuri Except for Me! - Marika is determined to be a normal girl and live a normal life, with a job, husband, and kids. Accidentally traveling to an alternate, all-woman universe puts a serious wrench in her plans! Hilarious sci-fi fun.

The last 4 are contemporary stories featuring people with previous partners:

Girl Friends - Mari is a shy student at a big high school. When the bubbly, popular Akko takes her under her wing, Mari wonders where the line is between friendship and romance. I ADORE this manga. Morinaga-san is my favorite mangaka.

Kodama Naoko's work - Kodama-san has three titles that fit and I wasn't sure which would perk your interest the most. NTR is trashy teenage sexcapades about two women "practicing" physical intimacy with each other and enjoying it more than time with their boyfriends. Melodrama and teenage stupidity to the MAX. My review here. I Married My Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up is like the reverse of that: a fluffy, p mature rom-com about falling in love after marriage. Days of Love at Seagull Villa is a mix of the two, with melodrama, sexy silliness, but between two adults. Kodama-san is fond of ridiculous boob physics XD

Citrus - Speaking of trash, have you read Citrus yet? Yuzu comes home from school one day to discover her mom has remarried. She takes one look at her new step-sister Mei and realizes she's a lesbian lol. Just like, turn your brain off and settle in for a soap opera. I'll just link my review of this one because it's terrible but compelling. A Journey.

Even Though We're Adults - To end on a high note, Even Though We're Adults follows Ayano and Akari, who meet at a bar one night and let the sparks fly. Drawn to each other, they must decide how much of their comfortable lives they're willing to change; most notably Ayano has a husband!

Best of luck, Anon! It's a bright world out there.

[lo-fi-charming]

Jondaisy Playlist Deep Dive

So!! For the last day of @jondaisy-week, I wanted to talk about the playlist I have for them. I'll be sharing each song, talking about why I associate it with the pairing, and then spotlighting some of the lyrics I think apply to them most accurately.

Here's the playlist on spotify, so you can check it out for yourself! But for the actual list below, I'll put YT links on each song so they're more accessible to everyone.

About the Playlist:

This was originally constructed by borrowing inspiration/songs from another jondaisy playlist by an old fandom buddy. You can find their playlist here! My playlist is in a custom order, and one I'm pretty satisfied with. It's meant to somewhat mirror Jon and Daisy's relationship arc throughout the show. It starts aggressive, intense, and tumultuous, slowly twisting into complicated and messy (or even toxic) love, before balancing out near the middle to symbolize how these two become unlikely allies and friends. And then, a bittersweet, solemn end...

Daisy by Ashnikko

This is a fun starter, mostly because I think it both does and doesn't suit Daisy. Obviously there's the title, which might make this song seem like a shallow choice just for that, but I do think there are quite a few lyrics in the song that are perfect for Daisy. Plus, I love the sound, which I do think suits her pretty well - strong and steady beat, a little dirty, with a nasty vibe. That's Daisy!

Spotlighted Lyrics:

Fuck a princess, I'm a king Bow down and kiss on my ring Being a bitch is my kink What the fuck else did you think? Fuck a princess, I'm a king Bow down and kiss on my ring It's gonna hurt, it'll sting Spittin' your blood in the sink I'm crazy, but you like that, I bite back Daisies on your nightstand, never forget it I blossom in the moonlight, screw eyes Glacial with the blue ice, I'm terrifying

Psycho by Lauren Aquilina

I like this one as a representation of Daisy's developing obsession with Jon, once she decides to Hunt him. It's got the good stalker vibes that are well suited to Daisy's pursuit, especially since the voice of the song is very much blaming the object of obsession for her fixation. Also, on a personal note, I do like applying it to AUs where Daisy does just fall into a sick sort of love with Jon and is unable to be normal about it! Uh oh, Jon!

Spotlighted Lyrics:

Maybe I'm a psycho just like you said I was You got me right, but baby, it's not my fault Oh, and I know, and I know, and I know That I've been acting so strange But you should know that you're the one who made me this way Yeah, I'm a psycho just like you said I'd be Not gonna fight the way I am naturally

Choke by Royal & the Serpent

Here, we get to the first song that's more about Jon/from his perspective. Super appropriate title, and basically every lyric is perfect for them <3 I think this one is a great song to capture The Woods Scene, given its subject matter, as well as the tone - conveying desperation and fear, the feeling of being unable to escape, but still begging to be released before it's too late...!

Spotlighted Lyrics:

You are a shadow Following me where I go I'd be better without you What are you doing to me?

Loosen your grip before I choke Can't catch my breath, I'm gonna choke I wish that you'd just let me go I don't want this, I promise, just leave me alone Loosen your grip before I...

Hellbent by Mystery Skulls

Here we enter the sort of toxic/twisted love era. Less representative of canon, more exemplifying how Jon and Daisy are great choices for such a dynamic. I'd say this song is more of a Daisy POV. All in all, great vibe and energy, capturing the intensity that I think this ship can bring out in both parties.

Spotlighted Lyrics:

I've been hellbent, baby Hellbent on makin' you love me, too Even though not what I'm supposed to do I don't give a damn, mmm

Fear & Delight by The Correspondents

This song is perfect for 'Jon diving head-first into an inadvisable relationship with the woman who tried to kill him that one time', or any other sort of scenario wherein Jon thinks he should know better than to mess with Daisy after their history, but, well... Especially in canon, it's possible he's got some wires crossed after all his weird traumas. Sometimes it's simply impossible to resist the allure of a Scary Woman...

Spotlighted Lyrics:

I don't show it but I quiver whenever you come near And I cannot decipher between the thrill and the fear I wanna stop it but like it too much to let it stop here It's wrong but I want you tonight It's not my own volition but I fell in deep By running the distance I've been advised to keep I trot to the wolf as a doting sheep It's wrong but I want you tonight

Addiction pulling me to a grave end You're an enemy who I'm keen to defend Down the black hole of my lust I descend It's wrong but I want you tonight

Love Me Dead by Ludo

Jon POV, of course. Who doesn't love a man out of his mind for some terrible, awful girl? This song might represent the height of the toxic love narrative (yknow, before getting to any metaphorical OR literal cannibalism, as we'll soon see.)

Spotlighted Lyrics:

She moves through moonbeams slowly She knows just how to hold me And when her edges soften Her body is my coffin I know she drains me slowly She wears me down to bones in bed Must be the sign on my head That says, oh Love me dead! Love me dead!

You suck so passionately You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature Finger-bangin' my heart You call me up drunk Does the fun ever start? You're hideous and sexy!

You've got the mark of the beast You're born of a jackal! You're beautiful!

Hot Venom by Miniature Tigers

This one is a little odd, hard to explain... I think it carries along sentiments from the previous two songs, where something that seems dangerous or inadvisable becomes a little addictive, something you feel like you begin to need. There's also an element here that makes me think of their dynamic in s4, just briefly; perhaps it can be seen as a sly hint of what's to come. Especially in the lyrics I chose, which make me think very much of Jon becoming aware of how much he's come to depend on Daisy in s4, as well as how inevitable it is that this brief respite together will soon come to an end...

Spotlighted Lyrics:

Her venom makes me strong Stronger than I am on my own Before too long I'll wake up to it gone Wondering how I ever was happy

Cannibal Queen by Miniature Tigers

A bit more lovey-dovey, both in tone and lyrics, but my favorite thing about this song is that at first glance you might think it's a Jon POV, but I actually imagine it applying most to Daisy (so Jon is the cannibal queen in the scenario, lol.) It makes more sense once you get a good look at the lyrics~

Spotlighted Lyrics:

I'm so lucky this one lets dogs hang around It's good having somebody good for a change

Comin' for your heart like a cannibal Oh, she lets me right in and I fed 'til I'm full If something goes wrong, I'm accountable Oh, a life without her is no life at all I la la la la la la la la love you, cannibal queen

Cannibal by Tally Hall

This ended up becoming a direct companion to the previous song, for probably obvious reasons. We switch to Jon's POV, to a song chipper and lighthearted in tone despite the subject matter. Here we have a Jon who is content to let Daisy take her fill of him...

Spotlighted Lyrics:

Looking for a cavern A place where she can stay Waiting for the darkness When she leaves obsessed to make her way to me Because it's getting to the time when she will need to feed, and I am The willing victim of a cannibal She rips out my bones just like I'm an animal And right when I'm feeling like my blood is drained She calls it a game But the wound that she leaves is unmistakable

Misery Meat by Sodikken

I like this one after the previous songs because it sort of brings us back down to a less idealistic and romantic energy. Devoured by a cannibal, and now you're just miserable meat, a body to be picked at. At the same time, I think this is well suited for Jon because it has an air of dark humor, of begrudging acceptance of horrible circumstances. We settle down and find some strange equilibrium in the midst of misery right before transitioning into a new era...

Spotlighted Lyrics:

As you open up my ribs, the blood flows out like a river You strip my bones away as you indulge in my liver And the more that I am in pain The more that you'll gain And to me, that seems like a pretty fair trade You bite my nervous system ignites The tormenting spite Sacrifices must be made

Spit It Out by IAMX

I love this one, because it sounds dirty and dark and dour to me, with the vocals coming in to evoke a sense of rawness. This is very much the start of 's4 era jon and daisy' to me. They're both crumbling, lost and in pain, and as they weaken, they fall into each other. Here, they begin to really speak to each other and recognize one another as real and the same.

Spotlighted Lyrics:

And if you're hurting I will replace the noise With silence instead Flushing out your head

When you're in pieces Just follow the echo of my voice It's okay Tune into that frequency

'Cause it breaks my heart That we live this way

The past is weakness Don't beg the question When the answer is war There are moments when I'm overcome

Monster by dodie

This one feels quintessential for jondaisy. More than any other song on this list, this one feels like it carries their spirit, the thesis statement of Jon and Daisy within the show. To me it's a song they are both singing, not only to themselves or each other, but to everyone, the world. Gnashing teeth as they settle into the reality of their mutual monsterhood.

Spotlighted Lyrics:

A meter apart You blankly stare We shout in our heads Are you still in there? Well this ends bad, then We knew it would So we won't eat our words 'Cause they don't taste good I'm guessing that I've grown horns I guess I'm human no more

Look, I know that I've seen this before High and mighty, at the top of your list Adoring every move, now my rank is sinking But we're both guilty of black or white thinking And through my red eyes, you look pale All of your scars now looking more like scales Two ugly creatures, two sinister preachers Blind to the past, like a couple of monsters Just a couple of monsters

Hunger by Of Monsters and Men

To me, this one carries the idea of them both being determined not to feed. It's the beginning of the end for Daisy, given her choice to separate herself from the Hunt. For me this makes me think most of Daisy explaining why she's made her choice to Jon, how she refuses to ignore her own agency in the matter; it's an echo of the sentiment, and them reminding each other to keep it in mind, to keep each other in check.

Spotlighted Lyrics:

But for the longest time I knew There was nothing left for us to do But I tried, oh, I try And in this quiet company There is nothing staring back at me I'm in need of the sound Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you Voices disappear when you are speaking, in sombre tunes I will be the wolf and when you're starving, you'll need it too Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you It isn't you, it isn't

I'm Tired by Labrinth & Zendaya

I see this and the next two songs as closers to the playlist. Strength waning, Jon and Daisy find themselves tired of their struggles, and coming to peace with the idea of approaching their ends. It's hard to describe exactly, but I think this song is a good representation of what they both regret: the people they hurt, the things they did, just... the way things turned out, in the end. Quiet, reflective, and sad.

Hey, Lord, you know I'm fighting Hey, Lord, you know I'm fighting I'm sure this world is done with me Hey Lord, you know it's true Now the tide is rolling in I don't wanna win Let it take me, let it take me I'll be on my way How long can I stay? In a place that can't contain me

Sorry by dodie

This one is so... ahh... Okay so, the way I apply this song is very much like... I imagine these are Daisy's thoughts and feelings in the moments right after she is shot and killed by Basira in s5. Her spirit, freed from her body, finally severed wholly from the Hunt. I think about Daisy standing over the scene and saying sorry, an apology no one can hear, and feeling all her life's regrets before she is gone for good. I also think, given how things end up with Jon, the voice could very much be coming from him, too. Maybe it's both of them...

Spotlighted Lyrics:

It happened fast Like a fired gun Bleeding out Then it was done There was the end I couldn't find, found too late

And oh, didn't want to believe such a monster in me And I know, I've always known, in the end, I'd be sorry And that's all I am now, it's all I can be Is sorry

In a Week by Hozier

For the end of the playlist, the only way I can think to explain my feelings are, like... There was a moment where I realized, if we are trying to stick to canon, there is only one 'good end' for Jon and Daisy. Only one way they would both get what they truly wanted, which was to be free, to not do further harm to others, to escape the ugliness inside them and become inert. Only one way for things to end well, for them to be content. This song. For Jon and Daisy, the best ending they could have gotten was both of them choosing to starve to death rather than hurt anyone else, slipping away together in secret so they can die someplace quiet, but not alone.

Spotlighted Lyrics:

I have never known peace Like the damp grass that yields to me I have never known hunger Like these insects that feast on me A thousand teeth And yours among them, I know Our hungers appeased Our heartbeats becoming slow

We lay here for years or for hours Your hand in my hand So still and discreet So long we become the flowers We'd feed well the land And worry the sheep

And they'd find us in a week When the buzzards get loud After the insects have made their claim After the foxes have known our taste After the raven has had its say I'd be home with you

[potatopossums]

partnered aro here.

i have been having some thoughts about what it's like to be in a relationship, even if it's difficult to label what type of relationship it is (romantic, queerplatonic, alterous, etc.). I've also been having some thoughts about my queer identity in regards to how my aromanticism affects my lesbianism and vice versa, and their relationship to gender. it's probably worth a larger post, but if anyone is curious or has comments to add about their experiences, please feel free to ask/comment/reblog/direct message.

incompletely, things I've learned so far whilst in a partnership:

Sex is cool to think about but not so much fun in practice..... irl, it can be absolutely fabulous; it can also be alright; it can also be a little boring and uncomfortable. the best part is, i don't have to do it if i don't feel like it. that's pretty cool. who cares if my medication is lowering my libido (and who cares if my meds aren't the problem, and I'm just a sex-favorable/neutral ace).

Sex usually consists of me pleasuring my partner and jerking myself off afterward, and I'm okay with that...... it's not always one-sided giving (and if you honestly think that giving to your partner is one-sided by default, as if you're suffering through the giving and waiting painfully for your turn, you really need to reevaluate how you're doing sex, because I'm sitting there enjoying watching my partner, exploring her body, listening to her breathing, reacting to her movements, and all of that is very enjoyable for me while I'm giving. orgasm is not the end all be all of sex). plus, i don't tend to receive orgasms because i have vaginismus, which doesn't allow others to penetrate me. i can penetrate myself and achieve orgasm when I'm controlling everything, but it is uncomfortable and painful still for others to control penetration, which is required for my orgasm. that said, i also receive external, non-penetrative touch and stimulation (such as receiving head: wowie 😵‍💫🥵). for where i am, I'm comfortable with things, and that's great.

Sex with myself is so good..... my brain has always been really good at thinking up fun scenarios that excite and turn me on. i know exactly what images push me to orgasm. i like orgasming. thanks to my medications, the orgasms aren't as strong, but i know what time of day to masturbate so that i actually can orgasm. i don't always masturbate nowadays, but when I do, it's a really lovely self care moment, and i wish masturbation was talked about that way more often. it's not for everyone, but I've definitely heard masturbation referred to as anything from "something lonely, loser singles do" to "not nearly as good as being with someone" and i honestly beg to differ on both of those. masturbating is not an indicator of loneliness or inadequacy, and it's not some second-rate pleasure in comparison to sex with a partner. masturbation is its own action, its own thing, and it has no moral or status implications. i love doing it, and i always have, and i love doing it alone.

I get the most out of sex when it's framed as a sensual experience, rather than a sexual one..... like ok, I'm not the best at figuring out the difference between sexual versus sensual, but I'm mostly interested in what feels good. if the only thing that separates them is genital touch or sexual arousal, then fine. but sometimes non-sexual touch arouses me sexually! so, in my mind, what is the point of separating them, i ask! if sex feels good, then it was a good sensual experience. if you're not paying attention to how things feel regarding your five (5) senses during sex, I'm not sure what else you're paying attention to? i mean, no shade to paying attention to other things that don't fit in the senses category, and no shame to people who categorize these experiences differently. those experiences and perspectives are valuable and wonderful! for me, it's just all sensual, even if it's sexual too. sexual gratification, for me, is in a sensual category (and also a mental one, but usually my mental additions to sexual experiences are visual in nature, such as picturing a scene/location or a fictional character).

this is all i have for now, but if i think of more things, I'll reblog and add more to this list.

as always, i welcome discussion on these topics, as it is so important for our community to share and connect over similar and differing experiences! celebrating these things about ourselves is essential to our pride, and we deserve to be ourselves fully and openly.

[nonchalantee]

small perspective flip for any scene of your choice in not strong or brave but a secret third thing if you feel like it! thanks love the fic!

ooo this one is kinda tough actually since that fic has 4 main povs already but HMM lolol in the spirit of chaos, let's go with a donato bro. gelly at dan's congrats! you're a captain! party:

Angelo:

"You can't show up empty-handed," his mom grouses at him over the line while Gelly is busy pouring terrible cop breakroom coffee.

"I'll bring him flowers," Gelly says, rolling his eyes.

"Buck?"

"Huh? Why would I bring Buck flowers? The party is for Dan, right?"

His mom huffs an exasperated sigh. "Gelly-"

"I could have sworn Lu said Dan was the one who was getting the promotion."

"He is," his mom says. "But, listen, Captain Nash is very important to Buck. You need to make a good impression on him, understand? Bring something for the table. Like a charcuterie board or something."

"I'll be late if I stop to do that," Gelly says patiently. He gulps his coffee down in three large swallows, too hot, and sags slightly against his desk. Another 20 minutes left on shift, quick home to change and psych himself up for a social event filled with mostly strangers, then driving over to the directions Lucy gave him. He's the only brother without kids, and one of the only ones left without even a partner, which means he gets to be the official Family Presence for celebration events like this.

"Angelo Lucian Donato, I am trying to give you important advice."

Gelly winces. Full named, okay. "Fine, fine," he says. "I'll get a board from the supermarket, happy? Though I doubt being late will make any better impression than showing up with food."

A brief pause, then, "No, you're right." Before Gelly can say anything to that, his mom adds, "I'll get it for you. Is it better for me to drop it off at work or at home?"

"Ma... what's going on? This is kinda, uh, not normal behavior from you."

"Just trust me," she says, brisk. "Home or work?"

"Home," Gelly answers, giving up.

--

Everyone in the family always talked about Gelly and Lucy like they were copies of one another. They had the same approach to people and situations. They even looked the most alike out of all the kids. Gelly had had his own post-graduation wild child phase that had pioneered the path for Lucy, years later, to spend a few years surfing and working odd jobs without the family freaking out overmuch; they were the two perpetually singles at every family function. Then Dan showed up and became Lucy's steady plus one, but Gelly honestly thought that was all they were ever going to be.

He knew Daniel Buckley pretty well. He even more or less liked Daniel Buckley. Dan was an unquestionably great guy, and he looked at Lucy like she hung the stars in the sky, so Gelly didn't actually have any kind of objection to the man. But Gelly also never thought they were on track for marriage. He thought Lucy was like him in this way the way she was like him in almost every other way: that she liked herself, liked her life, too much to lock it in step with anyone else's. Make herself beholden to someone else, someone not family.

Her getting married a few months ago threw Gelly for a loop because, for maybe the first time, he started looking at his life and thinking Is this where I'm supposed to be? It was maybe more introspection than he ever really gave himself in the past, and it led to some recent dating misadventures as he attempted to also find his forever someone to settle down with. He hadn't thought anyone had really noticed, but he'd forgotten a key piece of information, which was: Marian Donato.

She's waiting for him in his kitchen, having let herself into his apartment with her key, busy at work transferring a grocery store charcuterie board onto a nice tray. She's frowning a little bit in concentration and barely looks up when Gelly walks in, only paying enough attention to him to ask, "Do you want some coffee before you get going?"

Rather than say anything else, Gelly just responds, "Sure, Ma, that would be great."

She gives him approval he doesn't ask for over the outfit he changes into, then messes with his hair till he bats her hands away; then presses his travel mug into one hand and pushes the charcuterie tray into his chest with the other, frowning as she looks him over.

"Maybe you should bring some flowers," she frets.

"For who...?"

"Captain Nash's wife, obviously. I hear she's also important to Buck."

"Okay." Gelly puts both the tray and the coffee down on the counter, then faces his mom. "Explain."

She huffs an impatient breath. "I just want you to make a good impression."

"Uh-huh. Explain in more detail, now."

"Dan was basically an orphan when Lucy brought him home. We didn't have to appease any family. It's not going to be so easy with Buck-"

"Okay, that's too many times you have mentioned Buck today. What's going on, Mom? For real."

She gives him an exasperated glare. "You're looking to settle down," she says, a statement and not a question. Gelly inclines his head, because he knows better than to lie to his mom. She says, "Right now, you're dating your way through everyone you avoided when you were just being casual."

"Okay, how do you know that?"

"I am very observant," she says. "Which is how I know that in about three more weeks, probably after Lucy and Dan drag Buck to family dinner, you're going to look at him and think of him as an option. Because right now everyone is an option. And I am here to tell you, Buck is an excellent option."

Gelly stares at her, brow raised. "Ma, this sounds kinda crazy." Buck is a great kid - he was an amazing partner to Lucy, and Gelly is honestly upset that she's going to lose that in the station transfer - but Buck is almost a decade younger than Gelly and Lucy would kill him, besides. And then Dan would make sure his corpse was desecrated beyond recognition. The guy has a protective streak that Gelly, as a fellow big brother, can see from space.

"I'm just keeping you from stumbling before you even start to race," his mom says. She picks his mug back up and pushes it back towards him. "I'll carry the tray. Come on, we've got to get you going. You can't be late. First impressions! You're meeting the two people Buck thinks of as parents, here."

"Oh, my god," Gelly mumbles, and dutifully follows her out the door.

--

The Grant-Nashes have a pretty swank house, not ostentatious, but classy and warm. It looks like something that would be featured in an architectural magazine of one kind or another. Captain Nash and Sergeant Grant greet him together at the door, and recognize him by name when he introduces himself.

"Angelo, of course, welcome," Athena says, a delighted smile on her face. It even looks authentic. "Please come in. Lucy and Dan are out in the yard - I think they're trying to get the barbecue going."

"As if we didn't already have enough food," Bobby says indulgently. "Though, of course, more is always welcome." He takes the charcuterie tray out of Gelly's hands with a genuine seeming, "This looks great!" while leading Gelly into the kitchen/living room area.

"My mom always says to not show up empty handed," Gelly says. In fact, she'd said it as she closed his car door on him, glowering at him in maternal bossiness.

"Marian is her own brand of terrifying," Buck chimes in, rising from a crouched position in the kitchen. Gelly had entirely missed him on first view: he takes Buck in now.

He's of a height with Gelly, which not many men can claim, though they both fall a little short of Dan's own giant frame. He's big, thanks to all of the functional muscle that firefighters put on, and it looks good on him. He wears it glowingly well, all health and rosy cheeks, bright eyes, big smile.

"You're her favorite, you know nothing of how scary she can actually be," Gelly says, and watches Buck's eyes crinkle in a happy, teasing grin. "Hey, Buck."

"Gelly, hey," Buck says, and takes the few steps forward necessary to bring him within half-hug territory. His arms are huge around Gelly, solid, strong. Gelly claps him on his broad, muscled back, and feels their chests make full contact. This close, he can tell that Buck even smells good - light cologne, more like an afterthought, melding into the base notes of his own personal scent. Gelly squeezes him tighter for a second, feels Buck squeeze him a bit in return, and finds he doesn't actually want to let go.

But it would be weird to not let go.

Buck stays with him and introduces him around to the others who have already arrived - Gelly's met Maddie Buckley before, but not often, and she is even more pregnant now than she was a few months ago. Like, Gelly's pretty sure she's about to pop any second, level of pregnant. Hen and Karen Wilson are fun, and the assorted first responders from the 147 are vaguely familiar in that Gelly has either met them once or twice through Lucy or seen them at some kind of emergency. He banters a bit with them before swooping in on Lucy and Dan, still out on the patio, still hovering over a stubbornly unlit grill.

Gelly smacks a congratulatory kiss to Dan's cheek, channeling his Nonna's spirit to really sell the celebratory ambience, and tells his brother-in-law congratulations.

"Thanks," Dan says, dry. "Do you know how to work this thing?"

"I'm sure we can figure it out," Gelly says magnanimously. But he finds that, even while he's standing with them, ostensibly making some kind of helpful conversation, his gaze is unerringly drawn through the glass doors, finding Buck. Hmmm. Buck looks good in a crowd. People gravitate toward him. He smiles big, he laughs big, he emotes joy with his whole body. He's louder than Dan, but he's not abrasive. He's just... a sweet guy. A really sweet, nice guy. Gelly already knows his family loves Buck. Gelly was not actually kidding when he called Buck Marian's favorite. And Buck is already 'Uncle Buck' to an entire generation of Donatos. Hmmm. A sweet, nice, young guy.

But age gap romances work out. They work out all the time. It's not like either one of them is actually a kid; they're both adults.

Buck is, uh, very adult. Gelly watches him bend down to give Maddie a hand in standing - watches Buck's forearm muscles flex, the way he instinctively braces her and makes sure she has her balance. She says something that makes him laugh and hmmm. He looks good all the time but he looks even better when he's laughing.

Gelly probably looks weird right now with how he's staring without blinking, but... what was that his mom had said again? Buck is an excellent option. She's biased, obviously, but she's not wrong.

He lands himself back by Buck's side, them crowded together as more people arrive. Buck absentmindedly wraps a friendly arm around Gelly's shoulders. He's strong enough that he doesn't even seem to notice when Gelly leans into him; Buck just shifts his weight slightly to brace for it. The first true spark of attraction starts to burn in Gelly at that reaction; he's not sure why that's the thing that does it - maybe the easy strength, maybe the unthinkingly generous responsiveness, maybe just something ineffable altogether. But the attraction is here and it's real and Gelly already feels it starting to grow.

Okay, Gelly thinks. He's not sure what he's agreeing to - maybe to his mom, maybe to the universe, for putting Buck right in front of him. There's a symmetry to it. He and Lucy always doing the same thing. On multiple levels, the idea of this just feels right.

Maybe it's ironic that he's thinking this just as the prickles start needling up and down his spine. Gelly's gaze snaps up, and he casts looks around, trying to figure out what triggered his fight or flight reflex.

Lucy, still by the barbecue, still next to Dan, but staring straight at him. A small frown on her face. The slight widening of her eyes as her eyes shift, micro-expression style, from Gelly to Buck and back again. Hostile suspicion dawning in her gaze. Gelly shifts ever so slightly closer to Buck and watches his little sister's eyes narrow.

He slowly, deliberately, wraps his arm around Buck's waist. Lucy shakes her head at him, very slowly, mouthing an emphatic No. But Gelly is feeling the smug certainty of every sibling who has their mom on their side, as he gives Lucy a slow smile back.

[inktheblot]

📓 👀

Nebulous, queerplatonic Rodiclash my beloved. I've really warmed up to the pairing lately, but like, a specific flavor (or mixture of flavors). Of course there's the inherent hilarity of the "one-sided rivals" and "one guy actively hates/is in Homoerotic Nemesisship with another guy who is Literally Just Vibing, and maybe genuinely LIKES the first guy" dynamic, which I love, but then we can build from that... EMOTIONALLY :D

Rodimus holding no grudges after the mutiny, and actually being visibly more amicable around someone he "hated", and Thunderclash thinking "wow, so generous and honorable of him", but really Roddy is more like "oh okay you're not completely cartoonishly perfect, you're actually just as capable of screwing up royally as me, cool great awesome I can actually tolerate you now". From the other perspective, that person who is widely seen as Perfect™️ chooses to be with a person who is widely seen as a fuckup, because not only does he see that good in him that everyone else misses, but also because He Also gets to be on equal footing with someone who doesn't hold him up to an unrealistic pedestal of being Perfect, won't give up on him when he does inevitably fall short of the fantasy, actually likes him more for being a disaster and not a paragon. Both of them feeling seen as Full People, not only their accomplishments and also not only their mistakes. Even more meaningful IMO if you hardcore lean into a disability lens (Rodimus' ADHD and/or other neurodivergence + Thunders' spark injury + the whole species' lifetime of trauma + probably more): that you don't have to be a shining picture of ✨inspiration✨ and ✨overcoming✨ to be liked and wanted.

Aromantic Rodimus plus Thunderclash who maybe had some kind of romantic infatuation with him to begin with, but they talk it through once they grow closer, and he eventually concludes, "no actually, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, I wouldn't choose the thought of maybe hypothetically theoretically someday settling down and staying put with one (1) romantic partner forever over this, you and what you are comfortable with and having you and our relationship in my life at all are more important to me than any other what-ifs, and I'm definitely not going to leave you behind for want of someone or something else". Or maybe Thunders himself is aro, and/or some other kind of a-spec, and in the past he's felt like there was an obligation for him to be Available™ to all the mechs that swoon over him, and this is a huge relief. Either or!

In the murky recesses of my brain there's something set on the Exitus in the post-LL "bad end", of them growing closer mostly by accident. A series of subtle and bittersweet vignettes musing on lost loves (of many forms) and missed opportunities and inevitable creeping mortality. What makes you keep on living despite yourself when you know for certain that your best days are behind you, you can't have much time left, and you've already used up your allotment of second chances and then some? Finding similarities if not sameness, comfort if not closure, home base if not home, in unlikely places. Yearning and making peace and yearning again. This is imperfect, they are imperfect, but it's what they have, and it's not enough if "enough" was all they ever wanted, all that they had before, but it's enough if "enough" is Not Actively Self Destructing, and realizing it's okay to be tired, and it's okay to rest your tired head on another tired shoulder. A series in poetic bursts with all-lowercase song lyric titles precariously hanging between "way too corny" and "thanks, my soul just imploded". No plot, only vibes.

Whether as part of the above or a separate story entirely, I also have the thought of them deciding that they want to bond, but becoming conjunx wouldn't be right, and amica doesn't feel quite right either (while the term does have similarities to what we on Earth call queerplatonic relationships, and maybe is equivalent for some, I don't think that these two think of theirs specifically with the "best friends" connotation -- it's a different flavor). So what they settle on is invoking the rite of Prime and Lord High Protector. The Prime who never got to lead and the war hero with nothing left to fight have no one to prove anything to and no desire for a performance of the power and tradition of the ruling class; they twist this legend into a private affirmation for them and only them, swearing what they have left to one another. (Bonus angst if this is in fact along the timeline of the above, and it's not clear if they'll even have their sparks left by the time they're through; if one or both of them is close to the end, and bonding is a 50/50 shot between "we're both jumpstarted and then we'll see how far we can cheat death This Time" or "we both burn out instantly", and they're at the point where they can be at peace with either option.)

[eirikaanemo]

Can You Keep A Secret?

Warnings: imprisonment, mentions of starvation and sickness

Note: I haven't actually played Dvalin's quest but I tried to keep it as close to canon as possible. Feel free to leave a comment or message me if you see something wrong.

Venti x GN!Reader

1.9k Words

Your soulmate is secretly Barbatos... now what?

Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone is born knowing your soulmate's biggest secret. For most people it’s really unhelpful, but for some people it helps them find their soulmate. You’re in the latter group, because yours gives you a name.

You've known your whole life that your soulmate is secretly Barbatos. It's… interesting, to say the least. Of course you'd never dare to tell anyone. Thankfully, asking someone what their soulmate’s secret is isn’t very common. It’s considered to be very rude, so no one asks you what your secret is. They'd think you're crazy!

Barbatos hasn't been around for centuries and you're a mortal. This is the sort of thing you would read about in trashy romance novels! But even though it’s crazy and kind of overwhelming, you know it's true. You don't know if he'd ever accept you or want to be with you, in fact, you’re pretty sure he won’t, but you want to try.

Once that’s settled, you just have to find him. If he's anywhere, it's probably the city of Mondstadt. That’s where he seems to have shown up the most in the past, after all. So you move to Mondstadt. It’s a nice place and the people are friendly. Finding a job with the Knights of Favonius was fairly easy and it paid pretty well.

Unfortunately, the 'Storm-terror' problem starts shortly after you move. He throws the whole city into chaos the first time, and then proceeds to keep doing it regularly. The fear is all encompassing, but that's fine, you try to convince yourself. It will all be worth it when you find him. ‘If you find him’, your traitorous mind whispers.

It's been months, a year even, and you're starting to lose hope. How were you expecting to find Barbatos anyway? Shout from the rooftops for him to reveal himself and whisk you away? He hasn't been around for a long time and you knew that. And to be honest, at this point you've given up.

Going home is the logical thing to do, it’s where your family is after all. But you stay because you made yourself a home here. You have friends: Jean, Lisa, and Kaeya. You have come to love the city: music, freedom, and camaraderie. Well, you love the city except for the 'Storm-terror' attacks. Those aren't very lovable.

What concerns you the most though is that 'Storm-terror' is a dragon. And dragons trend to be important (like, archon important). But no one seems to remember this one. So you research. You visit the cathedral and speak with some nuns. You dedicate some time to listening to bard’s tales, asking them if they know any songs about dragons. One does, and it's surprisingly informational. You spend time at the library, pouring through book after book. And after all this investigation, you've come to the conclusion that 'Storm-terror' is actually Dvalin of the Four Winds. Not that anyone actually believes you

It didn't stop you from telling people your theory though, and being more respectful in how you refer to him, despite all the damage he's caused. Eventually they do start considering it and the city starts catching on. If you keep doing this, you may be able to change the city's perspective of and reaction to Dvalin.

The abyss mage catches on to this, and he just can't let that happen. It could compromise the whole plan. So one day he has Dvalin abduct you and locks you up. And true to your luck, this happens out of the blue while you’re taking a walk that you’d finally convinced Jean to go on with you. Which, of course, reverses all your progress and makes the situation even worse than it was before. Incidentally, this also does the exact opposite of what you’d been trying to do by stressing out poor Jean more.

The abyss mage doesn’t care about anything other than making sure you’re not able to go back to Mondstadt. The mage does not care about human necessities. Who cares if you die? Not him. He hates humans. It's kind of part of his job description.

Your prison is where Dvalin retreats to when not attacking. And the mage has to go report to someone else sometimes, giving you opportunities to speak with Dvalin. He never responds to you, but you can tell he eventually starts listening. You start by rambling about various subjects; then talking about how you know he's Dvalin, and that you're sorry he was being treated like he was, once you know he is listening. Because while you don’t know the whole situation, you know that he feels hurt by how humans have treated him.

After several days of talking to him, he slowly starts warming up to you. It’s a strange sort of bond that grows stronger as time goes on. He starts responding and the two of you actually have conversations instead of just you talking. Eventually you even mention how you know your soulmate is actually Barbatos and that you've kind of given up finding him.

He gives a thoughtful hum, lets you vent out your feelings, tries to think of an appropriate response, then allows you to drop the subject once you’ve worn yourself out emotionally. It’s becoming obvious that your health, physical, mental, and emotional, is degrading faster as time goes on.

One day Dvalin and the mage both disappear for longer than usual. After the mage makes sure you won’t be able to escape, of course. It’s not like you would’ve been able to leave anyway. At that point you’re not able to do much at all.

Little did you know that only Dvalin would be returning. They ended up facing the traveler and their companions in battle, and Dvalin was freed from the mage’s influence. The first thing Dvalin does is take them to help "the one decent human, that he actually cares about". You're in bad shape at this point, starving, sick, and weak. But you’re aware enough to hear Jean call your name and feel someone gather you in their arms before blacking out.

When you wake up you're at the cathedral and are feeling much better. Certainly you are not fully recovered, that will take weeks. That one bard who was able to play you a song about Dvalin is always there. You vaguely remember him being there when you were found. He doesn’t really interact with you much, he’s just kind of there, but he does play peaceful music that helps you fall asleep when you’re struggling to rest.

Then the day comes for you to go home. They’ve done all they can for you and you’re past the worst of it. But you’re well enough to be out and about. “Now you take care of yourself,” Barbara lectures you. “Don’t push yourself, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, and eat three square meals a day, got it?”

“Got it,” you confirm. “Thank you for taking care of me, I really appreciate your help.” She smiles, wishes you well, and returns to the cathedral. You take a moment to breathe and just appreciate being back home, free of your prison and the small cathedral room they’d kept you in while treating you.

Taking a deep breathe you start on your way home. “Hey!” You hear someone exclaim behind you. “Could you hold on a second?” Turning around, you see the bard quickly excusing himself from a street performance before running to catch up to you. Once he’s caught up, he gives you a smile.

“Hi! I’m Venti the bard! Would you be willing to speak with me about something? It’s kind of private so we would need to go to windrise or something, but you’ll want to hear this, I promise.” He says. “Alright,” you agree, “but I can’t make it all the way to windrise. Would my home do? I live alone so we’ll have privacy.” He nods, “that’ll work great!”

The walk home is quiet but comfortable. The bard’s content to hum a tune as he follows you through the streets. Soon you’re home, unlocking the door to let you and your guest in. You lead him over to the couch where you both sit down. “So,” you say, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, I was talking with Dvalin a day or so after we freed both of you and he said you mentioned you came to Mondstadt searching for your soulmate. And that you said your soulmate’s biggest secret, the one that you know, is that they’re Barbatos,” he explains. You feel a pang of betrayal at Dvalin’s actions and some guilt for sharing your soulmate’s secret in the first place.

It probably showed on your face because he quickly spoke up again. “He didn’t just tell me for no reason though. You see, I am Barbatos. I’m your soulmate.” Your head, which had been drooping with the weight of your emotions suddenly shot up as you fumbled for a response.

Apparently that showed too because he continued, “And I’m sorry I made it so hard for you to find me. I’m sorry I almost made you give up on me. Most of my waking time is spent incognito so I can watch over everyone while not being put in a position of authority. I didn’t anticipate meeting you ”

There’s a moment or two of silence as you gather your thoughts. “It’s okay,” you assure him. “I understand why you did what you did and I’ll never hold it against you. How were you supposed to know I was even born yet, not to mention that I’ve been in the area searching for you.”

You take another moment or two to gather your wits. “I will also understand if you don’t want to do anything about this,” you state. “I don’t want you to feel forced into having a relationship with me if you don’t want to. The last thing I’d want to do is be responsible for making you miserable. And that’s not to mention how you’re an archon and I’m just a mortal.”

Your talking speeds up as you start rambling, losing control of the conversation as you feel more and more nervous. Once you realize you’re rambling you shut your mouth with a click. “Sorry about that,” you mutter. “I do that sometimes when I’m nervous.”

When you chance a glance at him, he honestly looks a little offended but mostly just really sad. “Is- is that really what you think I think about this?” He asks softly. “Because it’s not. I absolutely want this. I absolutely want you. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for millenia and I wouldn’t give this up for the world.”

He reaches over and slowly, hesitantly, so as to give you time to escape if you want, gathers you into his arms. You realize that he’s the one who picked you up to bring you home. Your ear rests against his chest as lean against him, and his heart skips a beat as you gently grab one of his hands and kiss it. “I’m glad,” you breathe. “I’m glad too,” he voices softly.

You yawn, feeling the exhaustion from your journey home and the rest of the day hit you. He pulls you close and whispers in your ear, “Sleep well, my cecilia, I’ll be here when the sun comes up and when you wake up.” You fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

'requiem for a dream' movie discussion

edited with follow-up

Watched Requiem For A Dream with aforementioned crush. Did not enjoy it as much as the book. A LOT of important parts were missed out I feel. The characterization felt very loose in my opinion. Lucky you saw the movie before reading the book. Lmfaooo but I mean it wasn't TERRIBLE, I'd give it a solid 7/10.

Things I liked about it were the shortness of the scenes, the contrasting soundtracks between each scene and the repetitiveness of the scenes too, eg, that one part where they shoot up. The game show scenes are terrifying, the fridge growling.

Really wish they would've shown more of who Tyrone was, him meeting that old dope fiend. Also Marions character in the movie was way too shallow, in the sense, I didn't feel anything for her, ukwim? Jared Leto's acting.... was okay. I think Sara's storyline had the best arc and the acting was SO good too!

I've trashed a lot here this movie but I'm genuinely just disappointed about how fast it was. Maybe that was the intention, but I didn't even get time to root for a character. Conclusion: book>>>>movie. Which one do you prefer for Requiem for a Dream?

Books are typically better than their movie counterparts. However, for me the movie is my absolute favorite movie of all time. It does things the book cannot, especially with the cinematography - the famous "hip-hip montage", the framing of each scene, and the subtleness in the words unsaid between the characters.

The cinematography has been talked about over and over so I don't need to go into it here, but the framing of each scene, ugh, like art, every detail telling you a little part of the story: the positioning of their bodies, to the colors, the eye contact, etc. You can feel the addiction. You feel like you've taken the stimulants that all the characters are on - on speed but always on empty, going violently fast and you must keep up or you'll miss what's really going on.

I do agree Tyrone's character was pushed to a back burner. This is a movie after all, so unfortunately you can't delve into each character freely. The movie is primarily focused on Harry and Sara because movie watchers can only "handle" one or two main characters, otherwise he gets confusing for most people. Marlon Wayans did an excellent job though.

It's funny that you say that about Jennifer Connelly - she won multiple awards for Best Supporting Actress for her role as Marion. Ellen Burstyn won many awards for her work as Sara. I think most people connect to Sara because she's the most "relatable". Everyday folks don't see themselves as drug addicts; they have no sympathy for them. And most people have the least sympathy for Marion for a multitude of reasons that typically connect back to society itself.

Hm.

If you think about it... can you even develop a deep connection with someone else when you're so addicted to an idea / substance? Since the movie is primarily through Harry's eyes, you're mostly seeing his perspective of things. As the movie progresses, the movie in it of itself seems shallow as it delves deeper. It's a reflection of how addiction clouds your world and reduces everything to lowered importance except for what you're focused on - drugs, dreams, etc.

You don't have to like the movie XD I simply get excited about things I like, but I know everyone has different likes when it comes to movies.

When I watched this movie, I was experiencing my own form of addiction (see a-dick-ted au lol). it spoke to me on a deep level. It had nothing to do with drugs, just as how Requiem for a Dream was never about drugs, the drugs were simply a symbol for an idea.

I mean, I also like mindless movies that are def not top tier. For instance, I love the SAW movies and those are fuckin' trash LMAO

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I'm not denying Jennifer Connelly didn't act well, she was great! It's her character in the movie. See, I'm comparing my reading experience with my movie experience. Marion in the book was classical music enjoying, fuck-the-patriarchy (of sorts) girl who expressed her opinions on a lot of things and was all-in-all antiestablishment, hated rich people pretending they were the main characters. For me, Marion in the movie... has almost none of that. I couldn't feel ANYTHING from her, hell I don't remember hearing more than 10 dialogues from characters that weren't harry or sara (like you mentioned it was mainly their narratives, i know, but oh well my expectations were different i guess LMAO).

I 100% agree that the cinematography and the usage of the idea of an 'addiction' to fit the cinematography is literal genius and its a commitment to portray the lives of addicts. Like I said earlier, I loved the direction of everything, it was scary and disturbing, cutting very close to an 'accurate' description (not that I know what addiction feels like LOL, but so I have heard and you, too, have said)

Also now that I think of it, I was irked by the lack of punctuations, the long ass paragraphs, and somehow, all of that was so seamlessly translated into the movie. The random cuts, and that moment when u HEAR the eyehole of sara's home creak????, the dial tone like a metronome, all of it was very stimulating. (God the fact that Big Tim's number was written behind Harry and Marion's picture just shattered me).

But reading the book first, and coming the movie later, really just disoriented me. I think that's why I have the opinions I have about this movie.

A movie is never going to be the book. They're different media and can't be measured in the same ways.

If you didn't connect with Marion in the movie, then you didn't connect with her. Marion in the book is the same as she is in the movie. She doesn't like or believe in any of those things - she thinks those things will make her look refined. But she's empty inside and she fills it with Harry and then when she begins to lose Harry, she fills that space with money and drugs. Marion was never her own person. She never got to be, controlled by her parents, then blinded by love, then trapped in the cycle of money / drugs.

None of these characters have redeeming qualities. They're fixated on the happy ending, but once you do that, you can't appreciate the happiness right in front of your face and, before you know it, the time has been wasted on wishes and you've burned all your bridges with your dreams.

It's alright if you didn't like it. I do and it will probably remain my favorite movie for a long, long time. It's not a movie I would watch over and over (I typically don't rewatch things tbh XD). It's not a "feel-good" movie at all. It's well done, beautifully depicted, and my mind followed it and drank up every detail. Line delivery, cinematography, everything falling apart, almost borderline existentialist in some ways and we all know I love weird shit.

Anyway

I love the movie, I love the characters, they're all horrible people XD