#which is good because i can tell there's an issue in the middle somewhere

[greyias]

Writer asks: ✨🎀💝💌

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Oh, that would probably be Lapsus Linguae, which I get why it didn't quite catch on (it's a bit long for a short fic, is basically oc x oc pairing so quite niche, and has a M-rating because of a random scene in the middle with a totally different pairing than the oc/oc content) -- but it still makes me laugh.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

I will say, when I get enough distance from a written piece, it can still sneak up on me and give me unexpected feels, so I guess it not only holds up to a re-read, but can hold its emotional resonance.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I probably shouldn't have been, but for some reason I was absolutely convinced that people were really not going to like Girl Talk? (The reaction to which was the exact opposite). I think the brain weasels got me on that one.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

So I took a break from it for a little bit (because I got distracted), but I am having a ridiculous amount of fun with the Outlander!Theron AU, and kind of have to keep sitting on my hands so I don't start posting prematurely (the first chapter has been written for 5+ years now). I think I described to someone that it's the Bad Decision AU where no one is their best self, especially Theron, who makes promises in one chapter, and then immediately breaks it by the end of the next chapter, with predictable consequences:

Theron's quick temper finally got the better of him, and the desire to diffuse the situation evaporating and he snapped. "You were about to be killed, and I wasn't just going to stand there and let that happen!"

"You couldn't let that happen? Just like you couldn't let me read my own messages and let me go to the Terminus?"

"That was different!"

"How?"

Just like with his decision to go to the Terminus in her place, he hadn't really thought that far ahead in how to navigate this conversation. Like every ill-considered step he'd taken in life, it was a thoughtful, reckless impulse that somehow made even more of a chaotic mess of things.

"Well, it worked didn't it?" It was the wrong thing to say, and yet he forged on as if his temper had set his mouth on autopilot. "You're still alive -- that's what matters!"

She stared at him as if he'd sprouted a second head. "How can you say that? After everything I told you about what he did when I--he... how can you think giving that monster an inch of control is a good idea?"

[pro-sipper]

Had such a fun conversation with my therapist today. Honestly I'd been wanting to bring up the whole pro/anti debacle with her just to see what she'd say and how it would stack up against what proshippers and antishippers have to say about therapy online. No points for correctly guessing which side she agreed with

I talked about my job for about 3/5ths of the time there, then segued into The Discourse by telling her about how I'd been writing daily during the first two weeks of my new job, but hadn't been as active lately

And I even asked her if she had any other chronically online clients she talked to and she reassured me that she had plenty, and even one who had kind of explained this whole debate to her before (from a proshipper stance, and how she lost a friend over it)

I explained my whole issue with her about how fandom is so deep into purity culture these days. And how reckless and raunchy it was in the 00s and how I don't want to go back to that, but there's got to be some middle ground somewhere.

I told her about some of the stuff I've written and all the weird or nasty comments I've gotten on it and how that can be discouraging. And I told her that most of my works are smut, and of those smut works, all of them have at least a little sprinkling of trauma in them. And she said that can be a good way to look at things. And used a real life example of how something could be awful but there could be good things about it too. Specifically saying that nothing is just black and white, everything has shades of grey. And that digging the little good out of the big bad is a positive thing, actually

And I told her about being a young teen and reading a fic with incest in it and having the sense not to immediately jump to "I want to recreate this in real life" and she was like "Yes, exactly. It's like this one book I read, umm..." and I was like "Flowers In The Attic?" just as a guess and she was like "Yes!" and said just because you read about something doesn't mean you want it to be your reality

And I did my best to explain the whole concept of how some people seem to think that everyone engages with fiction by putting themselves in the shoes of the main character, so if the main character is doing awful things then you must want to do awful things too. Which of course she said was in no way true

And she told me that she was such a big fan of horror movies and loved to watch those as a way to relax and unwind bc it gets her mind off her work, but that doesn't mean she wants to be a killer lol. And I had to be like "Oh no you don't understand. They think killing and torture and cannibalism is totally fine, it's just when you bring sex into the equation that people start freaking out" and she was confused at that lol

And of course she thought it was ridiculous that people can get called a pedo or a groomer or whatever other awful things over fictional stories.

So yeah it was a fun and reassuring conversation. I know I'm leaving some stuff out but I can't remember any more specifics of what was said. Plus I was talking a mile a minute bc I wanted to say everything on my mind before time was up asfdsfs it was a monumental task.

OH and I even brought up how people will literally say "well my therapist said..." just for some other people to accuse them of lying or saying their therapist is corrupt or some other bullshit which she was understandably aghast at. Because she is a licensed therapist who went to Therapy School and knows better, and is not a magical villain promoting propaganda fed to her by Big Proship to corrupt her clients. You know how it is <3

[nyoomfruits]

osctober day ten

prompt: mistake pairing: carlos/oscar word count: 1k a/n: continuation of osctober day six

Oscar had called it a mistake, when he’d first found out him and Carlos were soulmates.

But he accepted the hoodie. And all of the courting gifts after that, so like. They were working on it. It was starting to feel less like a mistake, maybe.

But now. Standing in the middle of his kitchen at 5 in the morning, Oscar is willing to loop back to mistake.

“Why,” he says, too tired to actually voice it as a question.

“Morning, my love,” Carlos says, flitting through the kitchen at a speed that was way too speedy for five in the morning. He’s also not wearing any pants, only a pair of boxers and a hoodie that is very clearly Oscar’s and it’s terribly distracting. Between the arms that are clearly visible between the strained fabric of Oscar’s hoodie that is definitely a size too small for him and the thighs on display, Oscar is struggling to stay on topic.

“C’mon, Carlos, we talked about the ‘my love’ thing,” Oscar says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He closes his eyes too, for good measure. Not being able to see the arms and the thighs does help with the focusing on the issue a little. The issue being that it is five in the fucking morning.

“Hm,” Carlos says, and then. “Pancakes?”

Pancakes were very tempting. But again. 5am. “Only if you tell me why we are awake.”

Carlos pauses in the middle of the kitchen, turns to him slowly. Now stationary, Oscar gets the full view of the sleep mussed hair and the bare thighs and the fucking arms. How is this man real. “It’s uh. There’s a full moon tonight?”

Even though half awake and fully distracted by the gorgeous man in front of him, Oscar’s getting a feeling that’s not the whole story. “I guess? I mean we do have those every month or so.”

Carlos looks troubled now. He still looks unfairly sexy about it. Oscar would like to kiss him. Which is a thing he can do now, but also. Doesn’t feel like the right timing, with the way Carlos is frowning at him. But god. He would really like to kiss him right about now. “It’s the first full moon of the Spring season.” Carlos clarifies, slowly.

“Right,” Oscar says. “Okay. Still do not know what that has to do with 5am.” Oscar wonders if there’s whipped cream to go along with the pancakes. Wonders if it would be weird if he asked Carlos if he could lick the whipped cream off of his thighs, later.

“We’ve been courting for half a year?” Carlos asks, once again not saying what he actually wants to say.

“Carlos can you just,” Oscar pinches the bridge of his nose again. “Stop dancing around it. Just tell me why we’re here at 5am on the day of the first full moon of Spring.”

“I thought you knew,” Carlos says. “It’s tradition.”

Oscar smiles a little wryly. “I think we’ve established I’m a little rusty on tradition,” he says. There was that whole debacle when they just started courting where he gave the cake Carlos made him – a courting gift – to Lando, because well. Lando had been craving cake. Apparently very not done. Took them weeks of miscommunicating to get that whole show back on the road again.

“Ah,” Carlos says, looking troubled. And pretty. Pretty troubled. “It is where you confirm your intentions. If you go out with me on the full moon tonight, it means you have accepted my courting and we can start becoming, uh.” He glances at the floor, then shifts his gaze somewhere right behind Oscar. “Mates.”

Mates. Soulmates. The whole purpose of this courting process. The whole reason they’re here.

“Oh,” Oscar wheezes out, suddenly having trouble breathing. He’d only just gotten used to the courting thing, and now he was supposed to make the commitment to. To.

It’s not like he doesn’t want any of that. He. He’s really started to like Carlos. He’s passionate. Caring. A great kisser. Fantastic thighs. But he doesn’t know. Mating is for life. Forever. What if he’s not ready for that yet?

Carlos bites at his lip. “It is okay, if you are not ready. We can wait.”

And Oscar knows, if he says he needs time right now, Carlos will give it to him. Carlos will give him anything he desires, anything he wants, anything he doesn’t even know he wants yet, because it’s very clear, above all else, that Carlos loves him. And not because the universe told them they were mates. Because he likes Oscar. For Oscar.

Suddenly he realizes it’s not the forever he’s scared of. It’s not Carlos he’s scared of. It’s the idea that Carlos might change his mind. That Carlos finds out who Oscar really is and goes ‘actually, never mind’ and splits.

But Carlos won’t. Carlos has made his choice, which is clear by the fact that he’s out here, at 5am, preparing for the full moon that will allow them to move forward with their courting, allow them to mate. Clear by the fact that he’s been courting Oscar for months, even when Oscar screwed it up, even when Oscar was less than enthused about the whole thing in the beginning.

Carlos stuck by him from day one. He’s not going anywhere. And suddenly. Suddenly, Oscar doesn’t want him to.

“What if. What if I. What if I do want to? Go out with you tonight?” He asks, bites at his lip.

“Oh,” Carlos says, clearly trying to hide his excitement. But it’s there, bubbling under the surface. “Well. Then we just. Go out tonight.”

“Then I guess,” Oscar takes a deep breath. Forever. “Then I guess I would really like to accompany you during the full moon tonight.”

Carlos is on him and pressing him against the kitchen counter before he can fully realize what’s happening, kissing him hard yet soft, desperate yet tender. They’ve kissed before, but nothing like this. It’s like Carlos is finally letting go of his worries, of his apprehension, giving himself fully to Oscar.

And Oscar will take all of him. Forever.

(Though he would love to start with some pancakes. And maybe an explanation of why the fuck they had to do this at 5am when the sun doesn’t set and the moon doesn’t rise until like 8pm tonight.)

[room-surprise]

Addendum to Dungeon Meshi Age Calculations, and Thistle's age estimate...

This is sort of a sequel to two posts of mine, How to Calculate Comparative Ages of DM Characters and How Old Is Thistle?

I've seen some people claim that the age scale between elves and tall-men where elves age 5 times slower than tall-men can't be used accurately for elves that are very young or very old. I've also seen people claim that the half-foot age modifier is wrong.

I'm not a mathematician, but so far I have not seen any actual evidence that the 5:1 scale doesn't work, and a good amount of proof that it does, and I think the confusion about half-foot aging is a translation issue.

Please keep in mind, information about Marcille's age does not apply to any of this, because [SPOILERS].

WHAT ABOUT VERY YOUNG ELVES?

Here's something we know about the babies from the different races, which comes from Ryoko Kui's blog:

1 year old elven, dwarven and gnomish babies can only lay on their backs. Tall-man and half-foot 1 year olds can both stand, though the tall-man is not as good at it as the half-foot.

This lines up with real-world development milestones, human children can usually stand on their own somewhere between 9 to 12 months. Half-foots age faster than tall-men, so it makes sense that the half-foot would look more balanced and steady while standing.

A 2 year old elven baby has just gained the ability to sit up, while the babies of other races are walking or running. Normal human babies can sit up with help at around 5 months.

2 divided by 5 equals 0.4, that's 40%, and 40% of one year equals 4.8666666 months. That's 5 months.

I think it's very likely Kui herself is using the 5:1 ratio in order to calculate her elven ages in order to get this very specific 5 month developmental milestone to line up this way. So we can confirm that any elf over the age of 2 years old should have an age that is calculable with the 5:1 ratio. I also think it's not crazy to assume Kui may be using the numbers I calculated in my age post to work out other character's ages as well, since she's clearly doing it for the elves.

LET'S TEST IT WITH HALF-FOOTS

Human children learn to run between 18 and 24 months, so around 2 years old, like the chart shows us. 2 years divided by the half-foot age ratio (1.1428571429) equals 175% because they grow faster than tall-men.

175% of 2 years is 1277.5 days... Which is 3.5 years. So a 2 year old half-foot has the maturity of a 3.5 years old human child. 3 years old is when human children are expected to run and jump easily, and climb stairs without help.

That sounds about right to me, since the half-foot child in the drawing looks like they can confidently run around without balance issues. One foot is off the ground, and their arms are pulled in closer to the body than the tall-man child's arms.

Meanwhile the tall-man child is more unsteady, both feet firmly planted, standing with their arms held out as far as they can go to help with balance.

DOESN'T 29=50 FOR HALF-FOOTS?

Kui says that Chilchuck would be about 50 if he were a modern day human (which he isn't, he's a medieval half-foot), and then she says that half-foots in the time of Dungeon Meshi only live to be about 50 years old on average.

I'm pretty sure she's telling us that if Chilchuck were a human in our world, he'd be past middle-aged, and then for contrast, she tells us that most half-foots in Chilchuck's world die by age 50. Not that Chilchuck's 29 years is equivalent to a 50 year old modern human.

Chilchuck is 29 years old, and he had his first child at age 13. The average age of death for half-foots is 50, then that means middle-aged for a half-foot is 25.

Chilchuck is 4 years older than that, which makes Chilchuck past middle-aged. It does not make him developmentally the same as a 50 year old modern human though.

Using the numbers I've worked out, a half-foot would be developmentally 50 years old when they're 44.

Kui says that although Chilchuck wants to retire from going into the dungeons, if he did, it would be premature... Just like it would be premature for a 33 year old to retire.

In the real world retirement ages are connected to the average age of death. As that number goes up, so does retirement age. Because modern humans live until around 72, as a global average, retirement age is somewhere in their 60s.

So since half-foots average lifespan is 50, a normal age for Chilchuck to retire would be in his 40s.

WHAT ABOUT OLD ELVES?

The average age of death for tall-men is 60, however we know that tall-men can live into their 80s because Marcille's father did.

The average age of death for elves is 400, but they can live up to 500 years.

There's no reason to think that DM tall-men aren't like real world humans, and can't live into their 100's if they are lucky and wealthy enough. Even in the real medieval period, some people lived into their early 100's.

The thing that makes average death ages low in real life is usually issues like high infant mortality, starvation, war, lack of medical care, and lack of sanitation.

In the real medieval period, the average age of death was 30 not because people dropped dead at 30, but because SO MANY children died young that it pulled down the average. In medieval times, if you managed to live to 25, you had an average of 23 more years of life ahead of you, which is 48 years old.

I think Kui raised the average death age to 60 for tall-men to account for the fact that even tall-men have access to more advanced medicine and healing magic in DM, so infant mortality isn't as high and the adults live more than a decade longer.

The elves naturally have a longer lifespan since they live 5 times slower than tall-men. However they also probably have a far more advanced society than any of the other races in Dungeon Meshi. Fleki calls the Eastern Continent a "primitive land", and it's mostly populated by dwarves, gnomes and tall-men.

If elven culture was developmentally the same as tall-man culture, I bet elves would only live to about 300, which would be 60 for them, maturity wise.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

80x5 is 400. That seems correct to me, a 400 year old elf would be considered elderly and getting close to the end of their life. An 80 year old tall-man would be considered VERY old, having lived past average expectations... But those expectations, as I said before, are based on poor living conditions, not biological certainty. 100x5 is 500, so the two maximum ages (100 and 500) also line up when you use the 5:1 ratio.

POSSIBLE MAXIMUM AGES FOR OTHER RACES

Using the same math, if gnomes and dwarves had the same culture as tall-men, they'd only live to be 150-ish instead of 240/200...

This is only a theory, but dwarvish and gnomish maximum possible ages should probably be around 250, if you multiply their age modifier (2.5) x100 like I did with the elves.

The current difference between their average age of death is probably attributable to lifestyle and cultural differences (gnomes use a lot more magic, and so they live longer).

Then, just to do the rest of the races:

Half-foots and orcs theoretical maximum age is 88. Ogres theoretical maximum age is 94. Kobold theoretical maximum age is 81.

Keep in mind, these numbers are based on the idea that "around 100 years old" is the oldest a human being can get. The oldest human to ever live survived until they were 122 years old... But obviously that is rare, and happened in the modern era.

Point is, there's wiggle room at the top end of the age limit, for some of the races that may be a matter of extra days or months, for others it could be an extra decade or two. But I'm using 100 for simplicity's sake.

Sorry for the long post! I hope this answers people's questions, and if I messed something up let me know!

[thatdeadaquarius]

SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:

You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻

(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )

Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.

Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)

PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2

So.

You got sucked into a video game. 

Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

yknow how it issss

...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...

which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)

see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own

there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...

the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?

or like the way ghosts look in game?

but a lot more "starry"

like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)

but yah.

you also got just, white eyes.

like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased

you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.

(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)

so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE

i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS

...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy

and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(

like wth!!!

thats just downright unfair.

so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)

...

I choose you, yellow fungi!

...

....

you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),

what'd you expect?? an archon??

..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-

these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing

a rishabold tiger? yep.

a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.

...you also try a ruin machine LOL

by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those

(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)

you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈

its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!

will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots

and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-

forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them

(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)

so THEORHETICALLY-

you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite

... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...

here goes nothing...

♤

so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites

which! worked out!

mostly..!

you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO

they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!

experiment #2: people possession, success!!

now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)

but no one can see you.

you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol

you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)

you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting

:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess

the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream

LMAO

ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard

bc Collei would have def screamed back lol

needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.

Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.

collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)

welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)

then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-

u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )

♧

Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.

he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually

(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)

So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,

having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...

Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.

his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people

after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-

-control humans??

Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people

he answer is negative, on both accounts.

and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments

Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers

...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)

...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.

YOU GUYS-

UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦

??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-

uh cya ig!!

Safe travels lmao,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji

(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)

Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man

[yanderes-galore]

Heya! Could you write a yandere concept for Diluc from genshin impact? Please and thank you! <3

I'm surprised he or Kaeya wasn't requested earlier, here you go :) I do hope I got the gist of his persona right.... I feel bad because I ran out of steam half way through.

Yandere! Diluc Ragnvindr Concept

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Denial, Controlling behavior, Manipulation, Fear of loss, Kidnapping, Stalking, Blood, Mentions of possible murder, Toxic relationship, Forced relationship.

Diluc is the owner of Dawn Winery and works at the Angel's Share Tavern in Mondstadt.

However, at night and away from everyone else, he is a vigilante who aims to take down the Abyss Order and Fatui.

He is truly a defender of Mondstadt, often busy trying to defend the city when the Knights of Favonius can't.

Diluc would probably be protective, controlling, possessive towards his darling.

Especially if Kaeya is involved....

Diluc seems like he'd meet you at either the tavern or winery at first.

Maybe Kaeya is showing you around Mondstadt, as much as his brother irks him... Diluc will admit you're interesting.

Diluc seems like he'd (ironically) be cold or distant with you at first.

He's a yandere who's in a bit of denial when they begin to show attachment.

He's been through a lot and isn't sure if he can let someone be so close to him.

He's always busy... although his day is immediately better when seeing you.

If you're at the tavern, he offers you food and drink while asking you about your day.

He may be in denial about his affections... but he does seem to have an interest in what you do.

For the most part, before he gets too involved, he's protective and vaguely interested.

He's trying to just be an acquaintance, someone to talk to while he serves you drinks at the bar.

Diluc's obsession would grow out of sight.

When he goes out to protect Mondstadt at night, he checks by your home to make sure nothing's wrong.

He doesn't want to consider following you around or knowing where you live stalking... but that's what it is.

You have no clue how obsessive he gets when you visit the tavern.

He likes to watch you as he works, it makes dealing with alcohol more bearable.

Diluc would definitely be rivals with Kaeya.

Kaeya is such a flirt and it irks Diluc's nerves.

To think his brother can just take you from him....

He gets so irritated when jealous.

It gets to the point when he's jealous of you in the tavern, he nearly breaks the glasses he's cleaning.

Which leads to Diluc needing to do something about this issue.

Diluc seems like he'd be manipulative towards you.

In a way he has the mindset of "It's for your own good".

Yet at the same time he's trying to restrain his more jealous thoughts and understand why he's so attached.

I imagine there's times he's possessive, it's usually with more romantic intentions... but he could also just be an obsessive companion/friend towards you.

Diluc hates the idea of getting too close with you since he's lost people close to him.

As much as he likes Jean, he feels the Knights of Favonius can't protect you like he can.

They can't care for you like he can, either.

Diluc is definitely a yandere that starts subtle.

You can't tell there's something wrong, he just seems worried and concerned for you at times.

He's... just someone you like to talk to.

But behind the scenes, as you sleep, he's making sure you're well cared for.

He'd get himself bloody if it meant you'd be his, he'd scorch any foe he has to.

He could either slowly build a connection with you to lure you into the winery and keep you there.

Or he could abduct you in the middle of the night once he snaps.

Diluc wants to keep you somewhere he'll always have an eye on you.

You're always watched, even when he takes you to the tavern you're never allowed to leave the counter.

If anyone flirts with you or takes your attention off Diluc, his eye twitches and he deals with the issue.

Diluc would probably kill, but it's always when no one's looking.

Plus they'll never find the body when it comes to him... no need to worry about it... they just left Mondstadt.

When Diluc's obsession stops being ignored and makes itself known, he really does act as some sort of twisted guardian for you.

He keeps you locked away, perhaps as a spouse.

He admits since he saw you he's wanted to court you.

Diluc would be the type of yandere to put you on his lap when he works.

He likes the control it gives him, allowing him access to your neck to make you squirm as he works.

He may not seem like it... but in private, Diluc can be affectionate.

He'll kiss you anywhere, sometimes soft... sometimes rough.

He hates others around you, often trying to rush people away from you so you don't speak for too long.

He has an issue where his protective and possessive behavior mixes.

He tries to excuse his possessive behavior as protective...

However, you can tell the difference the moment someone like Kaeya enters the winery.

The two nearly fight on the spot.

Diluc would love to spoil you if you're his.

He buys you gifts and tries his best to smother you in affection.

After all... if he gives you all his love, you'll never look at another.

Overall, Diluc is a yandere that wants to provide and care for his darling.

He'll give you whatever you want... he'll protect you... he'll love you...

Just listen to him... stay where he wants you to... and don't look at any other.

"Need a drink? I'd love another chat, dear."

[maddogofshimano]

The Fist of Reason: Majima Boss Rush

Happy 5th anniversary to rggo! hard to believe it’s been this long already

look at our festival boys! anyways lets get into this because I’m very excited

summary:

sometime after the events of Y1, Kiryu gets a call that Haruka has a fever. On his way to pick her up, he bumps into someone familiar...

[One day, some time after the strife caused by the Tojo Clan's stolen 10 billion yen was settled...]

Kiryu: Hello. ...Thank you for calling.

Kiryu: ...Huh? Haruka's got a fever? ...I understand, I'll be there right away. <scene change to outside> Kiryu: .....

<he bumps into someone> Kiryu: Oh, sorry. ???: Sorry? If sorry was enough to cut it, there wouldn't be yakuza! Majima: Ain't that right? Kiryu-chaaan!

Kiryu: Majima no nii-san!? What are you doing at a place like this... Majima: What's so weird about that? If Kiryu-chan's somewhere, then Majima is too! Majima: Outside of that, the spot where ya just rammed into me hurts like hell... Majima: Shit, ya probably broke the bone... Hehe, what're ya gonna do? Kiryu: People with broken bones don't laugh about it. Sorry, but I'm in a rush right now. Majima: Why ya bein' so cold~? We ain't seen each other in ages.

Kiryu: We can talk more next time. Like I said, I'm in a rush. Majima: Too bad! No matter what ya say, ya gotta beat me if ya wanna go!! Hehehe! Kiryu: Tch...! Kiryu: Give it a damn rest already! Haruka has a fever! Majima: ! ........ Majima: What the hell... I didn't know that. Majima: I'm sorry for this. Go on, hurry up 'n' get gone.

Kiryu: .....Damn. <he runs off>

[And then, 3 months later...]

Kiryu: ...I haven't seen Majima no nii-san around here since then.

Kiryu: (I thought he was the kind of person to come back the next day for a fight, but...) Kiryu: ........... Kiryu: (Even if I was in a rush at the time, did I speak too harshly to him...?) Kiryu: (Of course I don't think a guy like him would be dejected from that... Well, it is possible...) ???: Kiryu no ojiki (tl note: ojiki is an honorific that's literally "dad's younger brother" which is used for patriarchs less senior than your own. Nishida usually uses it) Kiryu: ...Hm? Kiryu: You're that Majima Family guy...

Nishida: About that... My boss is going to be put in jail. Kiryu: What...!? Nishida: It happened yesterday... Our family is supposed to be running a festival... Nishida: In the middle of it some thugs started acting up, and they got into a fight with our family members. Nishida: So now they've issued a warrant for my boss, since he was the one in charge... Kiryu: What is Majima no nii-san going to do? Nishida: He thinks it would be futile to resist, so he's waiting at the festival site for the police to arrive. Kiryu: What? Nishida: My boss has been acting oddly for the past 3 months or so. He doesn't have any energy, and seems pretty depressed. Kiryu: 3 months... it can't be. Nishida: And so, my boss really wants to see you before he goes to jail... Kiryu: Me...? Nishida: Yes. He said he has something to tell you, so... Kiryu: ...Got it. Lead the way. Nishida: Y-Yes sir! <they leave> Majima: ......... (tl note: I'm sorry the image of him just holding that pose in that outfit while waiting for the cops to show is so funny to me)

Kiryu: ...Majima no nii-san. Majima: ...Oh, Kiryu-chan, ya showed.

Majima: Excuse my appearance. I was up on a float till now. Kiryu: ...I just spoke with Nishida. Are you really going to jail? Majima: ...Yeah. Orders from on high, can't be helped. I'll be awfully lonely during those years... Majima: That said, I won't be botherin' ya any more, Kiryu-chan. Kiryu: ...... Majima: I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused ya. ...I wanted to at least say that, before I went to jail. Kiryu: ...That's not like you. Kiryu: Are you really going to let your underlings see you leave the outside world with such a pathetic display? Majima: ...I don't really care either way. Kiryu: ........... Kiryu: ...Good grief. You acting this way is completely infuriating to me. Kiryu: It can't be helped, this is a big favor. ...I'll get you all fired up again.

Majima: Hah...? Kiryu: You know the best way I can cheer you up? ...Come at me, Majima. Majima: ...!

Majima: Is this... are you pickin' a fight with me?

Kiryu: Heh, isn't that what I just said? Majima: ........Hee, hehehe! Majima: Kiryu-chan, you're always the best! Majima: Let's get started...! Kiryu-chan!!!!

<event happens, Receive and Bite You is the theme>

Majima: Hehe... As always, Kiryu-chan... you're tough as nails...

Kiryu: Heh... You are too. (tl note: RARE KIRYU SMILING SPRITE)

Majima: Oi oi, you're sayin' somethin' nice? Kiryu: Majima no nii-san... I'm sorry. Majima: Ah? Kiryu: For what happened 3 months ago. Kiryu: I was flustered, and I snapped at you. Majima: ........As always, Kiryu-chan, you're soft as a marshmallow~. I'm astounded. Kiryu: ....? Nishida: E-Excuse me! Kiryu no ojiki!

Nishida: The truth is... My boss going to jail was a lie in order to get you to show up... Kiryu: What? Then... was him being depressed also a lie... Majima: It was aaaaall an act! Majima: I was pretendin' to be put off by how ya talked to me so ya'd feel sympathetic, then after worryin' ya for long enough-- Majima: I'd reveal it was all a ruse, 'n' you'd get pissed off enough to throw down! That was the plan! Majima: It played out a little differently than intended, but, we still had a fight so it's all good. Kiryu: .....Heh, you're such an ass. (tl note: TWO smiles!! unprecedented.)

Majima: What, you're not mad? Kiryu: I had a feeling that something like this was going on. Majima: Then why'd'ya fight me? Kiryu: ...When it's with you, I can go all out in a fight. Kiryu: ...If I really think on it, I guess I enjoy fighting with you. Just a bit. (tl note: THIRD smile!!!)

Majima: !!..... Hehehehehe!! Heeey~! I knew it!!

Majima: C'mon, let's go another round! Hearin' ya say that's gotten me all worked up again! Kiryu: ...Heh, sure. It's a festival, after all. It's a good excuse to really cut loose. Majima: Hell yes!! Let's do this... Kiryu-chaaaaaa~n!!!! Nishida: A-Ah... This won't end until the sun comes up...

<END>

bonus stuff:

oh wow. oh man. that was pretty gay. between this and like a dragon: gaiden: the man who erased his name (lad gai man) thank you ryu ga gotoku studios for sending me birthday presents

obligatory boss rush pic

also a bonus shot of Kiryu’s apartment

the two new cards for this are “Mad Dog of the Festival Stage” and “Dragon of the Festival Band”

and since it was a festival I also put together a very special team to repeatedly kick Majima’s ass 

[qqueenofhades]

For the history questions, what historical period has given you the most inspiration for your writing/muses?

I feel like it's a cop-out if I say "hmm, all of them," and this will end up just being a long recap of all my various projects over the years, but a) fuck it, this is my blog, I can talk about my own stuff if I want to, and b) there have indeed been Many, both fic and original. I usually pick settings for historical/historical fantasy AUs that I already know and want to write about, so:

The Lightbearers (Once Upon a Time) and Starlight & Strange Magic (Timeless) are both 19th-century Victorian England/Europe/steampunk, one in the 1850s and the other in the 1880s, with lots of magic and misadventure and so forth. You can tell that I was really into steampunk around 10 years ago (it was Formative, okay) and there were plenty of opportunities to do fun things with the historical setting and real-life personalities (the scene of Flynn breaking into Buckingham Palace to spy on Queen Victoria and William Gladstone remains a favorite). There is also my massive The Swan and Crossbones series (OUAT/Black Sails, two fics, 800k words), which is set in the 18th-century Caribbean, Golden Age of Piracy, and pre-Revolutionary America and is a retelling of Treasure Island + family saga + multi-generational/multi-character/multi-source material historical fiction, wherein I both wrote 800k words and did a shitton of extra research in the middle of getting a PhD. Don't ask me why I did this either, but I still re-read them, especially The Rose and Thorn (the second installment in the series) for my own pleasure.

My All Souls Timeless trilogy, following the source material, involved general historian/academia shenanigans and time travel to Elizabethan England, which was lots of fun to research and write about, even if I otherwise tend to think that the Tudors are often overdone. One of my most popular fics and best shorter-form (only 65k words...) historical/period pieces is deo volente (lux aeterna) for The Old Guard, which takes the crusades as its general starting point and thematic thread to explore religion, faith, immortality, power, war, violence, love, queerness, and other such things. Another popular fic of mine that spanned 600 years of history (starting in the 14th century) and explored various periods in detail is my Sandman fic and in the waking world we wait and want, with a particular emphasis on queer history. (You will find that crops up often in my stuff, regardless of the setting.) We also have why draw me to that promised land (Shadow and Bone), set in the 1980s Soviet Union (my boast for the accuracy of this fic, based on my previous studies in Russian/Soviet history, is that someone told me they learned more from this fic than an entire semester of a university class, which is not entirely good because I then had many questions about their professor, but there you have it).

When it comes to original novels, I started off also 10+ years ago with medieval England, with the The Lion and the Rose series and others. I am fond of this one because it was what got me into medieval history in the first place and because even now, it still sells fairly steadily and gives me a couple bucks in royalties every month. My newest book, The Empire of Bones, is based (loosely) on my fic The Key of Solomon and basically has everything I possibly wanted to cram into a fantasy historical setting, from anywhere and any time at all. Thus we have the Christian-era Roman Empire, an Islamic Carthage, the Byzantines, Imperial China, Russian Jews and Ukrainian Cossacks, the Mali Empire, Celtic Britain, so forth and etcetera, etcetera. So as noted, if it looks interesting, I will find a way to throw it and the kitchen sink in somewhere, and I have the issue that whenever I read a book about a new place or period, I go "hmm, I should figure out how to write something gay about this." Alas.

[shinakazami1]

TSPUD: Symbolism of The Pink Room

@stelar-time asked in Twitter (I refuse to call it X) post about people's headcanons about the Pink Room and I thought I'd share this here, too

CW for some religious mentions

First, I'd like you to look at the dialogues in this part.

The fact that it's the fourth figurine is not a coincidence.

The Pink Room seems to serve as a symbol of nostalgia and of how memories can change with time. They tend to be rough and down the pipe you go, they do tend to lose details or get some added parts in, for your brain to make sense of them. That's why this room doesn't come at the first or last Figley and instead in the middle, as those are more often the parts we tend to forget.

What is interesting, though, is how Narrator questions it. Because a similar situation occurs somewhere else.

At the end of the Demo, Narrator starts to do a callbacks to the journey you had. However, at some point, he starts to mention and show parts you've never seen before. In contrast to the Pink Room though, there is not a single questioning involved. So, what's so special about that room?

You could say it's only a symbol of a nostalgia and fragility of memory. That he is recalling some moments he felt halky about and due to it, puts rose-tinted glasses which show off in a form of this room. Why hadn't he done the same thing in the Demo, though?

Memory overall seems to have a bigger role in TSPUD.

Narrator overall seems to have memory issues - he tends to remember some of the previous resets (skipping parts of the Freedom run after going through it nth time in a row) and completely forgets others.

That's why he has Memory Zone. He uses it as a photo album, not knowing it's as unreliable as his own callbacks.

But then, I did wonder... Why an apple? Why does this room show it and not anything else, any pink fruit?

And then, I looked at the architecture of the place and it reminded me of something.

Big window, a statue of some sort on a pedestal before it, pointed archs, to ribbed vaulting... It seems to match a typical church architecture. And then, it hit me.

The Apple of Eden. Fruit of the forbidden knowledge. Of somebody being there, someone watching, listening. Of him not having fun control over his creation might have been bit when we were jsut skipping around, only seeing part of his struggle in the Skip Button.

You might be then asking, why doesn't it have a bite mark then?

There are two possibilities I've considered:

1) it could shows Narrator's ignorance that he shows quite often. That could be true since he just tries to accept what had changed, trying to just say 'don't focus on it, it's a silly thing, let's move on'. He brings it up though since he already learnt from the Broom Closet that things untold seem to interest the Player more.

2) It's a memory within a memory. The apple before he bit in. It's the knowledge he beholds and shows us in a non direct way.

Just like the Bucket.

Nostalgia is supposed to give a good vibe but - it doesn't always succeed.

But this room can indirectly show Narrator's progress. The fact he knows more, the fact he can tell his memories get altered, the fact that - he changed.

In ways we misremember.

[sabrinatvband]

Notes on Comic Art #2: To Hatch or Not to Hatch, also some coloring stuff

One of the most influential things I've ever read on the subject of comic art is a piece Jesse Hamm wrote on Alex Toth where he talks about flatpacking.

[I discovered while writing this that Jesse Hamm passed away in 2021. He was a brilliant educator, one of the best in the history of the comics medium, and will be sorely missed.]

In the piece Hamm basically discusses how over-rendering objects usually makes them function worse as comic art. Many other people have discussed how using thicker lines for objects closer to the "camera" is good practice, how colors can seperate shapes and create depth, etc.

The question is, where does cross hatching fit into all of this? Or rather, various methods of adding more detailed rendering to artwork? I'm trying to figure this stuff out as I'm doing layouts for my comic, because I want to know the answers before I start inking the final artwork.

I try/want to have an uncluttered, clean, easily readable art style. I occasionally add hatching to my drawings, because hatching is fun, but I often feel like I've slightly ruined my artwork when I'm finished.

I've decided to look at some of the art that I feel like my own work is trying the hardest to emulate, at least philosophically, to see how other artists "weigh in" on this debate. It's important to remember that inkers embellish artwork [hence the alternate title "embellisher"], and so I'm going to try and find inkers most representative of a given penciller's intentions when applicable.

As I was working on this piece, I read Hamm Tips vol 1.1, and I discovered this diagram, which seems to relate with what I'm going to discuss later:

I think it's accurate to say that my desired approach is Uninflected/Deliberate; I think most people going for a clean and cartoonish look fall into that quadrant. Some people might describe Toth's work as being "clean", and so I should clarify that I'm talking about clean in the spirit of "lines meet neatly".

Some of the artists I'll discuss have lines that fall somewhere between being Inflected and Uninflected, and I think a lot of this comes down to inker approach. I feel like, in spirit, all of these pencillers are Uninflected, but some of the inkers use brushes, which creates a sort of middle ground. Brushes add different weights to a line, whereas crow quill nibs and pens have a uniform width. [The technical term for unweighted inked lines is "dumb line"; I believe this was coined by David Mazzucchelli.]

Let's first look at Adam Warren's work in the Dirty Pair volume Fatal But Not Serious. I'm a huge fan of how this comic looks; the flat, cel animation-style colors are very clean and easy to read. It's a very pleasant look, and I'm surprised more comics don't do this.

There is some hatching here, but it's not "serious" hatching. Just a few lines on cheeks, hands, etc. 98% of the artwork is shapes delinated entirely by a clean line and color. The convention floor panel is able to have a ton of detail without really changing the visual "rules" of the comic. An artist who does things in a more highly rendered way may've, for instance, reduced the crowd to a series of heavily shadowed figures, or colored in a single expressionistic wash to paper over things, etc.

Warren's Magical Drama Queen Roxy used a very similar approach to Fatal But Not Serious:

Let's now look at Rick Mays. I'm not a huge fan of Rick Mays, I've only actual read a single issue of a comic by him, but as I was reading Gen 13 he immediately stood out as being the best artist on that series, aside from Adam Warren himself [speaking only about issues Warren wrote]. It feels very telling that Rick Mays later did the final art for a graphic novel Warren laid out called Livewires.

These are from Gen 13 vol 2 #70:

The biggest difference between this piece has nothing to do with Warren or Mays, and everything to do with the coloring approach. I don't think the coloring here is bad, but the gradient-y colors do create a vastly different visual effect than the cel look I highlighted earlier.

The inking approach feels quite similar between the two artists; while Mays's art takes one or two steps towards realism relative to the Fatal But Not Serious stuff, texture is largely used to the same degree [with the grass and tornado being understandable exceptions]. What's interesting is that this issue has three different credited inkers; Karl Story, Rick Mays, and Jason Martin. I'm assuming this happened for deadline reasons.

I feel like I'm maybe starting to sound a little repetitive, and so I feel like I should share an issue of Gen 13 that I disliked, and then we can move to things that aren't Adam Warren-adjacent. These are from #43 and #44, with pencils by Lee Bermejo and inks by John Nyberg:

I'm not a big fan of this. The borderline chiaroscuro inking makes everything look heavily referenced, labored, and weird, and the "acting" in the comic suffers because of the over-rendered faces. It's a real shame the artwork is like this, because this two-part story is actually quite solid and would be a minor classic with better artwork.

I notice that many newer comic artists [which is to say, people who began their careers during the 90s onwards] put a lot of heavy shadows on figures in a way that feels too slavishly devoted to a certain kind of realism. I say a "certain kind" because the high contrast look of black spots being put onto a figure make the shadows way darker than they'd actually look in real life, so it almost makes the figures look dirty.

Look at comic art from the olden days and figures are largely defined by outlines/color. If a figure in an old comic has a lot of shadow on them, it's for reasons that are obvious and motivated; noir-y venetian blinds stuff, a mysterious villain being obscured, someone being underlit, or having half their face obscured, etc. There's a clear reason shadows are being used in these cases, rather than it being done to add usually unnecessary detail.

Anyways, let's look at Amanda Conner's work. Image on the left is from a Vampirella story called Fantasy Feast, and the image on the right is from Power Girl #12. Texture is used, like on the walls of the bathroom, but sparingly.

Looking at Conner's work in this context makes me realize, I don't think I've ever seen Amanda Conner's stuff colored flat [at least after she fully matured as an artist]. I don't think the more three-dimensional rendering used in any of these panels is bad, but I'm not going to be doing that kind of coloring in my book, and so it's not quite as instructive to me.

That being said, I really love Conner's style. I've noticed that Marvel and DC are increasingly using artists with styles that are broadly similar to Conner's; I've included an example below. Maybe it's because the artist below is too lazy to draw a proper background, but their work feels so much more flavorless than Conner's in comparison. I think it's because the "acting" is not as impressive, and Conner brings a fun-factor that feels completely absent in the page below.

I realize "fun" isn't always the order of the day, but this page doesn't really reflect . . . anything. It's completely bland.

Here's Kirby, who couldn't be bland if he tried. The left image is from the Young Romance collection Fantagraphics put out, and the right is from OMAC. The former is from the 40s, latter is from the 70s. [By the way, the Young Romance image is photographed from my own collection; there's no warping visible because Fantagraphics knows how to design a book].

Looking at these pieces side-by-side really challenges a lot of my assumptions about Kirby's artwork, because in some ways his artwork changed less than I previously thought it did without direct comparisons. There are some things that are more abstract about the OMAC page, like the wiggly shadows. Someone unfamiliar with Kirby might assume these were drawn by two different people, but only because 30-odd years of growth seperate these two pages.

Kirby's style, in my mind, is highly geometric and defined more so by abstract shorthand squiggles than hatching or other forms of rendering, but there actually is a fair amount of hatching on the OMAC page.

However, that OMAC page I believe was inked by Mike Royer, or at least someone using a brush. I noticed that, by sheer coincidence, almost all of the Kirby art from my first post in this series was inked by D. Bruce Barry, who didn't use a brush and also followed Kirby's pencils perhaps more literally than any other inker he ever had. In those images, it's clear that most of the hatching in Kirby's work was added by his inkers.

When Kirby did ink himself [using a brush], his style was oddly clean. He did add in hatching, but it was never particularly dense.

Anyways, I want to close this by including some Jesse Hamm quotes from his instructional PDFs:

-Simplicity is great, but often you need extra texture to seel weirdness.

-Another sign of experience is texture. The pro-level artist has learned to give different textures to grass, hair, tree bark, bushes, etc. Meanwhile, the amateur uses the same one or two shading techniques on EVERYTHING, giving it all a samey feel.

-Open spaces of black or white may be "activated" with a bit of texture. A few pebbles/ripples/etc will spur the mind to fill what's missing.

-We talk often about spotting blacks, but spotting greys (i.e., details/texture) is also crucial to clear compositions.

The lesson in the bit of Hamm writing I most often revisited, the flatpacking post, was that too much texture and rendering can make a comic exhausting to read. But reading more of his work, it turns out he had a more nuanced, texture-inclusive view of things.

What's the lesson here? Discretion.

[putschki1969]

Hi there,

you mentioned earlier that Keiko have luxurious live and her family are well off. im curious whe is this information come from? did she ever mentioned this in an interview ? or are any of her family member also someone famous ? eg; business man / celebrities / etc ?

Hello there!

Keiko never explicitly talks about any specifics regarding her family or their financial status and there's a good reason for it. In the very early stages of Keiko's career (around two decades ago), some fans have discovered that members of her family are quite active in regional politics (an activity that can typically only be taken up if you have some substantial funds available). Naturally, it is in everyone's best interest to keep Keiko's work in the entertainment industry strictly separated from any political activities which is why you'll never get any official statements from Keiko in that regard. That's also why the fandom as a whole is pretty hush-hush about it and why I will not be going into further details here. ❗It is important to be respectful and to keep those things private.❗ But you can imagine that this sort of background affords Keiko certain privileges.

From circumstantial evidence alone, everyone with eyes can guess that Keiko has always led the lifestyle of someone who is financially well-off.

She is constantly decked out in extremely expensive designer clothes/bags/accessories. If you follow my Twitter account where I post my Kalafina fashion finds, you'll know that most of her stuff costs several thousand dollars.

Whenever she has a new hobby, she goes all-in and tends to buy some of the most expensive products on the market (see for example her road-bike era or more recently, her acoustic guitar era).

I'm not going to delve into all of her regular beauty treatments because that's something most self-respecting Japanese women would choose to invest in regardless of their financial status but suffice it to say, an average office worker with a decent salary would not be going to all those fancy places that Keiko frequents (there are much cheaper options out there!).

Then we have Keiko's living arrangements. Presumably, she lives alone in her own place somewhere in the city center which would already make it very expensive. She is able to sing and play the guitar in the middle of the night which is rarely possible unless the apartment is super modern and high-end.

Generally, she doesn't seem to struggle a lot when it comes to connections within the industry. From what we can tell, she has had no issues signing up with a reputable label and agency (something Hikaru struggled with a lot and Wakana might have too if she hadn't decided to stay with Space Craft). Usually, that's a sign that sizable amounts of money are involved but who knows...

The fact that she felt confident enough to apply for the registered trademark of "Kalafina" back in the day could also be an indicator for Keiko being well-off. The legal representation alone must have been quite expensive.

Additionally, Keiko has made some vague references here and there which would suggest a wealthy background (please note that these are just some examples).

She has mentioned small things like playing tennis and golf with her parents on a regular basis. In case you didn't know, those are rich people sports, especially if you use your own equipment (which Keiko does).

The way she spent her hiatus after the breakup is also quite telling. Inspired by one of her relatives, she randomly decided to go to Kimono school to get a diploma. Sufficient funds are required for a school like that and I would assume that most people who attend will probably come from a more "sophisticated" background.

When talking about her super early days in the music industry, Keiko has made no secret about the fact that it has never really been about passion or necessity. She didn't start out as a singer because she felt she had to, it was more of a spontaneous whim. Again, a luxury usually only afforded to privileged people. Back then, singing was something she moderately enjoyed and could casually pursue, something that separated her from her older sister and something that more or less served as the spoiled/rich-kid version of a rebellion against overbearing parents. We get a bit of "rebel"-Keiko in this interview here. I would say that this is the behaviour of someone who doesn't have many worries in life, at least not when it comes to financial matters.

[david-talks-sw]

Luke Skywalker in 'The Last Jedi' (1/2)

Luke in The Last Jedi... love it or hate it, it's a difficult subject.

I personally stand somewhere in the middle. I don't think Luke was "ruined"... I'd argue that, from a purely in-universe perspective, his subplot actually tracks with what was previously established in the original films.

There are issues, but I think they are mainly found on an out-of-universe/structural level (which I'll get into in post 2/2). For now, let's take a deep dive and unpack why this portrayal isn't all that problematic.

The most commonly-heard argument is that:

"They ruined Luke's character! He would never go into exile or abandon his sister and friends!"

Simply put, Luke used to be:

an optimist

so brave he'd risk his life to save his friends,

aspired to become a Jedi.

Whereas, in The Last Jedi, he's:

jaded and depressed,

hides/abandons his sister and friends, like a coward,

says the Jedi need to die?!

Now the fact is... Luke is 24 years older when he goes into exile, 30 years older in The Last Jedi. People change, with age.

In Luke's case, he matured from an impatient kid who'd rashly run to save his friends, like in Empire Strikes Back, to a grown-up who makes hard choices and restrains himself from doing that, even though he desperately wants to.

Luke tells himself this is a self-sacrifice, this is for the greater good.

"Because he’s the last Jedi and a symbol of that it then becomes this self-sacrifice, he has take himself out of it, when he knows his friends are dying, when the thing he’d most like to do is get back in the fight." - Rian Johnson, The Empire Film Podcast, 2018

And Rian Johnson didn't want Luke to come across as a coward, so he also gave Luke an argument that initially seems to make sense:

The Jedi way is flawed and inevitably leads to arrogance. Proof: the Sith originally came from Jedi. His own new order is no exception to that rule, even if he thought it was (in his arrogance, he believed his own legend).

So if he leaves and stays in exile? No more Jedi, no more Jedi-turned-darksiders that can mess up the galaxy.

The Force will keep trying to balance itself and a new, worthier source will appear (in the form of Rey).

But while his reasoning that "the Jedi are inevitably arrogant" seems sound and reasonable... it's wrong.

Just like Dooku's reasoning that "the Jedi are corrupt" seems sound, but is ultimately wrong.

Just like Anakin's rationalization that "the Jedi are evil" seems sound nope, that one doesn't even seem sound, it's just plain wrong.

Where is it wrong, in Luke's case?

Well, he's rationalizing his actions by blaming the Jedi religion, instead of admitting his own failure.

"The notion of, 'Nope, toss this all away and find something new,' is not really a valid choice, I think. Ultimately, Luke's exile and his justifications for it are all covering over his guilt over Kylo." - Rian Johnson, The Art of The Last Jedi, 2017

"In his own way, [Luke is] trying to disconnect, he’s trying to throw away the past, he’s saying 'Let’s kill [the Jedi] religion. It’s the thing that’s messing us up, thins thing right here, let’s kill it.’ And the truth is, it’s a personal failure. It’s not religion, it’s his own human nature that’s betrayed him." - Rian Johnson, The Empire Film Podcast, 2018

He fucked up, plain and simple.

But it's not because “he’s a Jedi and that made him arrogant and the Jedi mentality is flawed”, as he claims early on in the movie.

He failed because he's flawed. Luke is human and had a moment of weakness where he was scared shitless and acted on instinct.

Yoda's spirit helps him realize this, and he fixes his mistake by allowing Leia and the resistance to save themselves. And as he does it, he acknowledges the importance of the Jedi and their teachings.

And it's also why, in The Rise of Skywalker, he has the maturity to admit that he wasn't staying on the island out of some self-sacrificial gesture, as he kept telling himself. Truth is, he was afraid. Afraid he'd screw up again.

Do the movies go about this in an emotionally-satisfying way? That's debatable. But, on paper, I don't think Luke's behavior in The Last Jedi is too much of a shark-jump considering how

THE ORIGINAL IDEA CAME FROM GEORGE LUCAS!

In the couple of months after the Disney sale, Lucas developed the Sequels with Michael Arndt in late 2012/early 2013, and concept art was made by artists like Christian Alzmann.

Note: the image on the left got a “Fabouloso” stamp of approval from Lucas!

Lucas’ sequels would feature a Luke Skywalker who was a figure like the jaded, reclusive Colonel Kurtz in the movie Apocalypse Now (which, fun fact, Lucas helped write and was originally set to direct).

The reason why Luke was in self-imposed exile wasn’t specified, all we know is that he was:

hiding from the world in a cave,

haunted by the betrayal of one of his students,

and spiritually in a dark place.

Other concept artists, like James Clyne, tried to illustrate the First Jedi Temple and some of the designs were approved by Lucas, such as the one below.

Eventually, Kira the female Jedi-wannabe protagonist (who eventually became Rey) would seek him out so he can train her.

This Luke would be a much more prominent part of Episode VII (instead of only appearing at the end) but still died at the end of Episode VIII.

For sources and more information about George Lucas’ plans for the Sequel Trilogy, read this post.

The only part that wasn't detailed by Lucas were the specifics of why he went into exile. But all in all, this sounds pretty similar to what we got in The Last Jedi.

"Luke would never try to kill Ben!”

I agree. And he didn’t try to kill Ben. He stopped himself.

And this version of the event?

This didn’t happen.

What Kylo tells Rey is his version of the story. And he thinks he’s telling the truth... but his recollection of the event is warped as this was obviously a very traumatic event for him.

"I don't think he's lying actually. In my mind, that was his experience. [...] I think that it's probably twisted a little bit by Kylo's own anger and his own prejudices against Luke, but I feel like he's actually telling her the truth of his experience." - Rian Johnson, Star Wars: The Last Jedi commentary, 2017

The narrative frames the third version of the story as the one that’s objectively how events went down. Because Rey believes him, and Rey is both the protagonist and a stand-in for the audience.

Now, if you think Luke’s word is unreliable and you have an easier time trusting Kylo’s version of the story, go to town.

But I think that if you actually believe would Luke would never try to kill Ben, you’d take Luke's second retelling of the story at face value.

I know I do.

“Okay, but he would never consider killing a child, like Ben. He saw the good in Darth Vader!”

First off, Luke refers to Ben as "a scared boy" because, he's a middle-aged man. But objectively, Ben was 23 years old.

But also, I mean... with Vader, Luke actually had the luxury ignorance.

Do you think would have truly gone on that Second Death Star if he had actually witnessed Vader:

choke his Padmé,

kill Obi-Wan,

actively try to kill Ahsoka,

murder Jedi younglings,

betray and hunt down his other Jedi brothers and sisters,

and cold-bloodedly kill countless innocents, one by one?

There’s a difference between watching him kill Ben Kenobi (who still ‘lived’ as a ghost and talked to him seconds later) and hearing a couple of rebel pilots get blasted in the trench run, and actually seeing all the horrors he’s committed.

Don't get me wrong, Luke knows Vader is evil, absolutely. But if he had seen this side of Vader, the needlessly cruel side...

... I'm not sure he'd have been as compassionate.

Proof: Obi-Wan, someone who deeply loved Anakin (to the point where he could never bring himself to kill him), someone that genuinely wishes that Luke can redeem him... also feels that, realistically, attempting to do so would be pointless.

And hell, even without really seeing all the massacres Vader committed, the second the latter threatened his sister, Luke went berserk and almost killed him!

So the question becomes:

“What could make Luke - trained Jedi Master, long-time optimist and overall compassionate to a fault - consider killing Ben?”

All we’re told is that he looked into Ben’s mind and saw darkness and the destruction, pain, death, and the end of everything he loves.

The specifics are left to our imagination. They could include:

the sight of Kylo slaughtering his parents and Chewie with a smile on his blood-smeared face,

the smell of Han's burning flesh in the air,

the wails of Chewbacca as he's run through by Kylo,

the faint sound of Leia's tears hitting the ground,

the destruction of the New Republic's citizens and planets.

Whatever it may have been, it was intense. Because Force-induced visions are vivid as hell, as has been shown throughout the franchise.

It's not like watching something on a TV, you're there, all your senses are affected in an extremely powerful way.

And the vision Luke experienced scared him so much that even shortly after it, when looking at a sleeping young man, all he sees is that evil monster from the vision. So he tremblingly draws his saber.

But it's evident that Luke wasn't thinking clearly or rationally.

His base emotions had taken the wheel, he was being tempted by the Dark Side.

"He doesn’t give in to the Dark Side, it’s a moment of temptation to the Dark Side. It reminds me very much of when Vader is tempting Luke, when Luke is underneath the stairs in [Return of the] Jedi, lit with that very beautiful half-and-half, the duality of these two sides of him being pulled. And that’s really what that moment is for me, it’s a moment of temptation to the Dark Side for Luke." - Rian Johnson, IGN, 2017

And yet despite seeing all that... Luke catches himself.

It's not the first time that Luke almost does something horrible to a family member and catches himself. Again, 24 years prior, he almost murdered his own father in a fit of rage.

The scene in Ben's hut intentionally parallels that outburst he has in Return of the Jedi.

A terrible future is presented before Luke.

He reacts instinctively, is tempted by the Dark Side.

He snaps out of it.

Even the angle and framing of the shot is designed to match:

"Some of these parallels are just “it’s a close-up of the same character” but this one was very intentional. It’s why I had him look down at his mechanical hand holding the saber." - Rian Johnson, Twitter, 2019

The only real difference is that, in Return of the Jedi, Luke only comes to his senses after a frenzied onslaught during which he actively tried to kill his own Dad.

24 years later, despite having witnessed that terrible future even more vividly than he did on the Second Death Star, he catches himself merely seconds later. Instead of going on a whole rampage, he stops the moment the lightsaber turns on.

I'd call that "progress".

"But Luke should've learned his lesson and known better than to give in to the Dark Side!"

Resisting the temptation of the Dark Side is by no means a one-and-done thing. It's not a power-up that you get, it's a constant struggle.

"I think it disrespects the character of Luke by treating him not as a true mythic hero overcoming recurring wounds & flaws, but as a video game character who has achieved a binary, permanent power-up." - Rian Johnson, Twitter, 2019

Dave Filoni says so too.

"In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless, moreso than selfish. It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do. And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good. It’s a constant." - Dave Filoni, Rebels Remembered, 2019

Hell, even George Lucas stated something along those lines:

"The Sith practice the dark side and are way out of balance. The Jedi aren’t as much out of balance because they’re the light side of the Force. They still have the bad side of the Force in them, but they keep it in check. It’s always there, so it can always erupt if you let your guard down." - George Lucas, The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020

Learning the lesson once doesn't mean you've learned it forever. Especially with the Dark Side, which poses a never-ending battle.

In-universe examples: Anakin learned to let go of his attachments during the “Padawan Lost” arc of TCW.

A year and a half later, he’s butchering kids because he can’t let go of his attachments.

And during wartime, Yoda found himself repressing his darker instincts and ignoring their existence. Thus, when he had to face them, he struggled to acknowledge and control them.

So considering Luke didn't go "rampage mode" with Ben, as he did when he tried to kill Vader, I think he deserves some credit.

Finally, I've heard this insane argument many times, as a response to the above points:

"Yeah but Luke wasn't actually trying to kill Vader! He was holding back, he was trying to keep him alive!"

And, uh... no. He wasn't.

He lost his shit, folks. And almost killed Vader.

Like, right here?

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t moved his saber to intercept Luke’s blade, Luke would’ve stabbed Vader in the face.

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t held his sword up in time, SWISH, there goes the top of his helmet AT LEAST, if not the rest of his head.

⬆️ If Vader hadn’t dodged he’d be chopped in two.

⬆️ If Vader’s arm gave out slightly sooner, if his blade faltered just a little lower, if he loosened his grip on his saber a bit, Vader would be cleaved in two.

My point is that if you swing at someone with a lightsaber? They’ll get chopped. And if you aim for the head or the chest? You’re trying to kill them.

Before Luke got a grip, throughout that whole rampage, the only thing that kept Vader alive was his own skill.

Otherwise, Luke would’ve murdered him in a fit of rage.

If Luke was holding back, then the theme of "resisting the Dark Side" completely falls apart.

There's no indication that he was restraining himself, in he script.

And just look at the imagery.

Luke is surrounded by darkness, symbolizing how he's being seduced by the Dark Side, he's being tempted to give in to his anger towards the man who hurt his friends and took his hand.

Then Vader threatens Leia.

And the next time we see Luke, he's silhouetted, his face is all black.

Luke was originally trying to hold back and talk Vader down, but fails to control his instincts and gives in to fear, to anger, to the Dark Side... and goes all out.

He swings at his father furiously and keeps swinging, until he cuts off Vader's hand... and he is about to deliver the final blow…

… when he sees Vader’s mechanical hand and realizes that by giving in to his anger, that path will inevitably lead him to become exactly like this half-machine half-man laying at his feet. That’s where the path to power leads.

And so he makes a decision:

He’s a Jedi. Like his father before him. His compassion for Anakin is stronger than his hate for Vader.

That's the narrative intent.

It has to be.

Because if he had been "holding back" throughout that entire bit, then the stakes are lowered immeasurably, John Williams' saddening score is misplaced, the lightsaber choreography is misleading, etc.

For the above-listed reasons, I think Luke's portrayal in The Last Jedi doesn't really contradict anything in the previously-established lore. It works, it's the typical "old cowboy needs to get back in the saddle" trope. Frankly, I can defend this subject all day long... so where's the problem?

The problem comes in at an out-of-universe level. While it's not inconsistent... it's also not satisfying.

The thing is, if you...

... take one of the most brave and optimistic characters in the franchise, then open the film saying "well, now he's jaded and in hiding", without giving us context on how he became that way...

... take a character whose arc was specifically about controlling his emotions, then show him be ruled by those emotions without providing context for what made him do that...

... then that kills the suspension of disbelief, for a lot of fans.

And, as such, they'll have a much harder time going along with what you're saying.

Because "show, don't tell" is one of the most basic principles in visual storytelling. And we weren't shown:

"Ben being increasingly violent during training",

"Luke sitting Ben down and having a talk with him, only to be ignored" or

"the horrors Luke saw in Ben's head".

I have no doubt that those things happened, in-universe.

But if we're talking about a movie-going experience, many were left emotionally-unsatisfied.

Because all that stuff was in there... but only subtextually. It was up to the fans to imagine on the details. Normally, I'd argue that's what Star Wars is all about: allowing fans to dream and think outside the box. But in this specific case, I think many fans would've rather had a more complete and explicit story. Because it's Luke Skywalker.

And yet... even these structural and writing issues had a logic behind them, and if you ask me... there was no other direction that this story could be taken in.

We'll explore this in more detail in part 2/2.

[elbiotipo]

isnt op's post also criticizing the idea that we must adhere to colonialism's real life history in fantasy settings? why did you respond with the assumption they didn't (asking genuinely because i read the original post as a condemnation of the very attitude you are condemning op for)

I don't quite understand what you mean by that part in parentheses

But I don't think OP meant anything else than "you don't need elaborate worldbuilding in your story", which, understandably, I oppose. But at the end of it, that's just writing conventions. I'm a worldbuilding fanatic and love to read entire fictional encyclopedias without plot, other people don't care about that. They are completely and utterly wrong, but that's fine, I can live with that.

However, this part (which as far as I know you asked yourself) "the idea that we must adhere to colonialism's real life history in fantasy settings"

Here's the thing: if you're writing fantasy aimed at adults, I don't think you should shy away from depicting colonialism and its consequences.

Because when you write a *typical* popular fantasy work with those lavish feasts with goods from tropical climates or shining metal armors or silk dresses or big urbanized cities with libraries full of books (all more features of the early modern era than medieval Europe) it implies all that wealth comes from somewhere. Those goods come from somewhere. Someone makes all those things. That society is built on pillars; social pillars, economic pillars, ideological pillars. And it's worth question who, and how, and why. Even if some answers might seem distateful, ESPECIALLY if some answers might seem distateful. I simply do not care for works that refuse to engage or think about them, or at least hint about them. Because otherwise it becomes a story of "there's a Bad king and we need to replace it with a Good king" Don't we have 85489 of those already? Why not question something else about your society? The nature of the god(s), the power of the church, how should we organize society, colonialism and imperialism, cultural interactions of the "age of discovery", the scientific method, those were all issues in the early modern Europe where most fantasy draws the generic Pseudo-Medieval European Fantasy setting from, that I think are worth exploring, and authors who do show it well.

The question I'm asking, is basically: okay, your world is made up. Why is it made up exactly like Medieval Early Modern Europe, but without any of the dynamics that made that Europe?

(and since everybody forgets about the stupid space captain: "why, in your sci-fi world far away from modern Earth, all your space captains act like they are Usamerican?")

Some others have also told me "but in my fantasy world there's no colonialism, plants grow through magic/they're traded in fair exchanges" that's great too! I loved some of the explanations, but the point in my opinion also isn't to sanitize fantasy and get rid of all the bad stuff or inaccurate crops, the point is to think about those things and create a story about it. And yes, plants can tell an interesting story. Coffee, sugar, potatoes, tomatoes, and such also got spread by trade, nobody has a "copyright" on plants. But later, the dynamics of the production of those foods took a turn and it often involved the dynamics of trade, colonization and imperialism. Like I said in another post, tea becoming the preferred drink of the English but having to import it from Asia, coffee with all its traditions from its original point in the Middle East as it spread across the continents, potatoes becoming so integral crop to cold Europe that people actually forget their origin in the Andes...

All those things are worth exploring in my opinion, and personally for me, they can even make a better story that just a hero against the evil dark lord.

It's not just about potatoes, but it's always a good first question to ask.

[astronicht]

Tbh the nightmare scenario in mpreg world (and also in real world but obviously rpf is the priority here) is a cryptic pregnancy and I honestly think vale would handle it even worse than marc

Okay first of all callie’s cryptic mpreg au is the groundbreaker in these parts, trendsetter etc etc. If you haven’t read that, I highly recommend it!

Right ok. I do think Vale (known control freak and weird about injuries) would handle it worse than Marc, who at least has coping mechanisms for body horror, even if they are usually “more body horror”. Vale I feel like is more repress-and-normalize, which is only effective up to a point. Incredibly lengthy musings and scenarios below cut:

It’s also tricky, because I think Vale also is more likely to constantly monitor his body in a way that Marc… certainly does by necessity, but tbh he cannot and will not pay attention to everything or else the pain would win. And also it’s a bit of a triage situation with him. Thus callie’s marc cryptic mpreg working so well! Meanwhile if something new pops up for Vale, it’s more likely he’ll notice it. THAT SAID that’s not a good story.

(Okay, so I wrote this all out as ca. 2022 (geriatric cryptic mpreg 🫡) and only then clocked that you just as likely were picturing a mid-career option. Which could also be spun! With mostly similar beats, I guess.)

I think Vale would ID that something was up, but I also think he’d pick the wrong thing (ie a different health problem), and then once he’d picked it, it’s True in his head and somewhat self-fulfilling. AND he can say “well it’s just that” and get on with ignoring it. Self-diagnose not in order to see a dr, but to file away and ignore 💜

Vale— okay. Vale thinks that some of the symptoms are mmenopause (hey, it’s possible). Vale thinks some of the symptoms are body changes after retirement (weight gain, exhaustion). He’s convinced that he has a new food sensitivity (suspects raw carrot). This might even BE a real new food sensitivity that also happens to be masking the pregnancy. He’s out there thinking his baby is IBS*

*Side note absolutely no one wanted, skip if you have any medical ick, but in euro countries with passably well-funded socialized medicine (not the UK sorry), gastros actually do an ultrasound on your poor sad guts if you’re having issues with inflammation. It is exactly like with the pregnancy ultrasound, and close to the same part of your torso. It would also be a batshit insane way to find out that no you do not have Chrones! you have 5+ months of pregnancy.

At one point in the mpregancy he’s like actually sleeping 10 hours every night like clockwork and everyone thinks he is possessed. Just Vale suddenly passing out at 10PM on a sofa somewhere while everyone tries to decide if this is a psychological break. Vale’s like (has no idea why he’s so tired, is also trying to decide if it’s a psychological break, kind of freaked out) I am catching up on all the sleep from my career :) haha :)

Meanwhile, Marc is no longer getting his 3AM phone sex booty calls. HE called VALE once unprovoked (he swore he wouldn’t but even divorced-with-hookups it’s true love etc) and Vale is just half awake so fucking unable to be coherent. Admits something about sleeping all the time. Marc genuinely a little like ??? concerned about this. Vale rubs off on the mattress mumbling at Marc and falls asleep and doesn’t remember in the morning. BUT something is pinging in the back of his head, so he does start forcing himself awake in the middle of the night to call Marc/text Marc filthy shit until Marc gives in and calls. They haven’t reconciled so much as they’re in a mind games phone sex era. Tho Vale is now like slurring with exhaustion and Marc is occasionally getting updates on other (sometimes medical) stuff Vale isn’t telling people. Marc calls have always been anything-goes in Vale’s head, though previously that was entirely for sex reasons. Anyway.

I’m genuinely not sure how to get a Valentino pov through a truly balls to the balls full-term cryptic pregnancy, like I could maybe get him there via denial, but getting his pov through that I’m like. I’m not sure he’d come out of that the same person? Marc, vitally, would. Valentino is only surviving this slightly intact if he does get a chance to realize on his own terms, and reframe the narrative so it makes sense in his head. And hey, technically a cryptic pregnancy is any pregnancy that goes undetected for 5 months or more, so!

There is however an Image in my head. Where Vale finally rolls over one morning and takes an at-home pregnancy test, thinking what a hilarious thing to be doing on a Tuesday, retired, at 42. He always has to pee nowadays so it’s no sacrifice to go piss on a stick. And he gets a false negative. And feels cold and stupid and powers through for another 2 months before he’s like. Laying in bed, scared, still 42 years old, like “am I dying or what?”.

He makes an appointment with his private practice outside idk Milan for a checkup that coming Monday. And then he goes, like he’d planned, to a VR46 race weekend. Perhaps Jerez. It may also be the earlier Catalan GP. Marc is at Jerez, not at Catalunya.

So, what he actually is, is 7 months (31 or 32 weeks) into a cryptic pregnancy. He doesn’t look pregnant; he looks like a skinny guy putting on a little fat and wearing a lot of big flannels. He’s distancing himself a bit from everyone because he really really thinks: something is up. He thinks about the negative test. He does Not think anything about his body or how his body feels. Just a very wary Valentino ready to disappear to lick his wounds. First tho he needs to keep an eye on Moto2 (Vietti is doing great; Antonelli, who has been a Vale favorite for longer, is getting destroyed). And MotoGP naturally. It’s Bez’s first year in the premier class iirc. Marc may or may not be there. It’s 2022 so Marc is not having the uh easiest year.

So Valentino is there in a cap big sunglasses big flannel at a chain link fence watching Moto2 practice. And then just stays there. He’s been a little prickly all weekend so he cracks a few jokes and eventually everyone who was watching with him wanders off. And he just stays standing there. And finally someone comes walking by— I’m not 100% sure who, but I think it’s either Franky (perceptive) or (this is a wildcard) Alex Marquez (experiencing medical hypervigilance due to living with Marc). And they stop and say “Hey, alright?”. And Vale not moving hands white-knuckled in the chain link says, “Hello, I need you to call me a car to the hospital.” And Franky-or-Alex looking and seeing something staining the leg of his jeans. A little pink splatter on his left shoe. Vale holding perfectly still.

Guess what, premature birth is common with cryptic pregnancy AND geriatric pregnancy! His water broke and he’s spotting some blood. He’s having contractions. His face is absolutely white. He can’t really move but he’s been waiting for the right person to come by.

If it’s Alex, Alex calls the one (1) VR46 number he has, so Franky arrives on the scene anyway. They call Vale his car and tbh probably Uccio idk. Long story short, Valentino manages to get checked in at the local hospital without anyone noticing much, but then it’s all very godawful. Lots of questions he can’t answer. Lots of tests. They give him meds to delay delivery in time to airlift him to a better equipped NICU in Madrid, give him rescue-course steroids en-route to strengthen the baby’s lungs and try to prevent IRDS.

All along the way he’s either totally blank or reframing all of this into something survivable; telling the medical staff that yes he tested and it was negative (true), possibly implying that of course he tested multiple times (false), saying he has an appointment with a specialist booked Monday (true) specifically because he suspected much earlier stages of a pregnancy (partly true partly false). Like it can’t be admitted that he missed 7+ months of this, so he says yes he had sex a few months ago and he thought that this was maybe from that (the webweaving increasing a bit here). This is absolutely terrible to do in a medical emergency but he’s panicking. Says there are two options, that it was [the exact date he and Marc last hooked up in person and yes Marc topped and broke a condom, see previous Vale mpreg scenarios for details] or “uhhh a few months ago”. But the fetus is clearly about 31-32 weeks, so.

Right, going forward, recall that the important thing is that all the mpreg universes are soap operas. So Vale has successfully delayed delivery for 24 hours to get the steroid course and into a good NICU. This has been horrific. Worse, he is having a baby in Spain. He is definitely having Marc’s baby, because the sex a few months ago was a total lie. He is terrified. He is disassociating. He is furious bc he would have caught this today if he’d been able to keep his appointment back home.

No one has medical power of attorney for Vale, and he listed/requested no emergency contacts, so no one is even sure which hospital Vale is at after the transfer. Franky and Alex are weirdly the only people with any kind of clue about what could be going on, and it would be a batshit jump to make, though between them they actually have enough info to put it together (Alex knows Marc and Vale sleep together, Franky idk watches documentaries). But the race weekend ends and they have to pack up and go home. Franky to Italy, Alex to miserable 2022 Marc in the big awful house in Madrid.

Tuesday morning Marc heads off to a post-arm hospital appointment (he’s doing post-op appointments in Spain with his Mayo guy on video call). And once he’s gone Alex awkwardly grudgingly texts Franky like. Was Rossi alright. And Franky responds carefully that Vale got airlifted to a bigger hospital and that he mentioned the symptoms to an ex-nurse friend, who said maybe he’d been sent to Madrid.

And Alex just looks at the door Marc just walked out of and thinks Oh Fuck.

Aaaand that’s the story of Vale’s mostly-cryptic definitely-geriatric preemie baby medical trauma!

*I went places on Wikipedia I wouldn’t go with a gun for this ask, but I keep finding continuity errors re: seasons, Marc’s injuries, Vale’s age, etc. in my replies, and in this case I just apologize in advance.

[ingravinoveritas]

regarding the post today about Anna's nasty comments, "jokes" etc about Michael's appearance in the last few years. Do you think there is genuine reason to feel worried about him and what it may be doing to his mental health overall? What I mean is I am starting to worry and then it makes start to spiral a bit and think that if he stays with her longer that the possibility of her "soft bullying" will escalate into actual abuse and I really don't want to think like that but it really makes me worry for him. Please tell me what you think and should I just take a step back and not think on it too hard (am I?) If you agree with me though, what do you think can be done to help him? Like as in a safe way for him to break up with her? I appreciate whatever you can do to help ease my mind at least.

martinsharmony replied to your post "So for those who haven't seen, AL posted a new..."

I have to wonder about Michael's state of mind. He has said he has his own body issues and has struggled with depression etc. The fact that he is "letting" her do this makes me worry about him a little. The fact that he's not standing up for himself and setting a boundary. From my own experience, all of this is okay, until it's not. My heart goes out to Michael. Of course I don't know the real truth. But I see a little of myself there. I recognize it.

(Grouping these two together due to having similar themes.)

First, I am glad that you felt comfortable enough to message me about this and share your thoughts. But I think there are a few things going on here, and it's important that we have some perspective. When I started responding to asks and questions about Anna on my blog four years ago, it was largely as a counter to what many of us were seeing the fans do, which was idealizing Michael and Anna's relationship and making it into some sort of fairy tale romance. Many of us could see things that did not seem to hold true to this narrative, but were afraid to discuss it openly. So the discourse became about open and honest conversations and speculation, and since GO 2 came out, that discourse has only seemingly increased (if the Asks and Anons in my inbox are anything to go by).

To your comments, @martinsharmony, these are some very good points you are raising, and I'm sorry that you see yourself in Michael's shoes. I think there's a chance many of us do, and is part of why we have the strong feelings we do--one way or the other--about this situation. I think a lot of us see Michael's visible unhappiness and are jarred by the sharp contrast between that and the narrative of him and AL being "madly in love."

I do, however, think there is a real risk of taking that line of thinking so far in the opposite direction. That is, if it's not okay for fans to assume that everything is perfect and wonderful and the absolute best with Michael and Anna's relationship, then it is also not okay to assume everything is the absolute worst, because extremes in either direction are not a good thing, and reality often exists somewhere in the middle. Reality and relationships are also infinitely complicated, which means that there often are no easy answers.

Also, because things are not ever truly black-and-white, I think it's important not to conflate being an unpleasant person with being an abuser. There tends to be an assumption that an abuser is mean and nasty all the time, every day, but so many abusers are viewed as "the nicest person you ever met" by everyone but the victim, which is how they are so often able to get away with what they do. Conversely, someone (such as Anna) might be self-absorbed, immature, and annoying, but that does not make them an abuser.

Again, in no way, shape, or form am I saying that it is a bad thing to care about Michael, or to want him to be happy. But what we are ultimately talking about here is Michael's agency--that is, his right to make his own choices, and to deal with and feel whatever he feels about the consequences of those choices. By either romanticizing or catastrophizing his relationship with Anna, we are unintentionally removing that agency. We have to remember that Michael is an adult man who has been in many other relationships in his life, and has navigated those (with varying degrees of success) on his own. So while we can have conversations and engage in discussion here, it is very much not appropriate and not our place to intervene with any of this personally or to try and facilitate the breakup of Michael's relationship.

Remember, too, that Michael has people in his life that he can trust and confide in--his parents (who are still alive and live near him, bless them), his sister, his friends. And he has David, of course, which we know is a beautiful thing. He and David have gotten immeasurably closer over the last four years and it is genuinely heartwarming to know that he can turn to David. The point here is that while we are fans of Michael's, we are not his family nor his friends. But Michael is not alone in this, and has support available to him, and that is something to be grateful for.

Going back to my previous comments about agency, one of the things that I know I love about Michael is that he is always going to do what he wants to do. He has reasons for doing those things, which means that if he is still with Anna, there is a reason for that (even if it is, as many of us believe, due to wanting to be there for the kids). And if/when Michael should decide to break up with her, there will be a reason for that as well. The most important thing, however, is that it's his choice. That if he decides he's made a mistake, it's his mistake to own, and not something for us to save him from.

I hope this has helped to put your mind at ease. I also want to make it clear that I absolutely do not have all the answers, and this (like all my posts) is my own opinion. Taking a step back might still be a good idea, as we can all find ourselves becoming too invested from time to time, and it is good to take a breather on occasion and find perspective. Glad as always for my followers to share their thoughts on this post as well...

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

hey, regarding a post where you discussed how you wouldn't post wamuu in his pillar men attire, and would instead opt out for modern clothing, i feel like this isnt a good approach to the backlash and i understand if youre only doing this to satisfy others, but if that is really the case that is on them for being sensitive over cultural clothing.

i dont want to be overly rude but putting someone like wamuu in modern clothing is just so out of character for him, and if you want to mischaracterize him for the sake of others thats okay i guess, but i just purely believe this is not an appropriate way to execute this

instead just so others dont feel "uncomfortable" with skin which you literally see in the manga and anime, maybe you could add things like warnings, you continue drawing his cultural clothing and tell others to ignore it, or you could just simply post it somewhere else so they have an option to see it or not. not trying to be rude at all, just some criticism since putting wamuu in modern streetwear strips him of his culture which we see he is so prideful of in the anime/manga, and i feel you taking that off his character is a stupid decision all because some people are unhappy with the amount of skin we see in your drawings and both in the anime/manga

i dont mean to be hateful but the way you are handling this is so blatantly throwing wamuu's character away all over some discomfort which can easily be fixed by the viewer if they just looked at your other works and ignored things they find uncomfortable

please dont come after me either, im only half of your age (14)

You're fine, and you know what? You're right... I only did that because I noticed people were uncomfortable with the amount of skin showing on both my character and him. To be honest, I really didn't want to draw him in human clothing

I lost some followers and a mutual because of the outfits (which Wamuu and the other pillarmen canonically wear btw). Kars is almost naked for heavens sake, but it appeared that the only thing others had a problem with was my self insert being shirtless.

I don't want to cover up my self insert's top surgery scars, and I don't exactly want to draw Wamuu in the gym clothes that much anymore (unless he's in disguise, like how Kars was in the series)

But I think I could meet in the middle and just cover up my self insert's chest with a crop top, while at the same time being able to show faer scars (I may never be able to have top surgery in real life, so that's why I proudly display them in art)

I wasn't doing this because they were sensitive about Wamuu, it appeared that others really didn't like the fact my character in particular was showing so much skin (even though fae's showing less skin than Kars)

I'm not upset at all, in fact, I think I'm going to just throw out the "human clothes" thing anyway and just go ahead and put a crop top on my self insert. That way everyone's happy:

• Wamuu, thankfully, gets to stay in his pillarman clothes

• My self insert can still be an honorary pillarman and wear the pillarman clothes

• My self insert can wear a crop top and have faer scars showing at the same time

I won't rb the human clothing drawing anymore, instead I'll edit the other drawings so my character will have a crop top similar to Wamuu's. Plus, all drawings involving Wamuu can stay with him wearing his pillarman attire

I admit, I got a little sensitive because I'm a people pleaser. I guess it started when my drawings were getting reported for sexual content on Bluesky (thankfully not anymore)

I really want this to be the last of this issue because I'm an anxious person...

So to recap:

• Wamuu gets to stay in his pillarman clothes

• My s/i gets to still show his top surgery scars while at the same time wearing a crop top

• I'm not upset, however I will work on trying not to be so sensitive and simply rolling over to "make everything better", which in turn made things worse...

This kind of woke me up a bit... Plus I love drawing Wam-Wam in his pillarman clothes