#which is exactly why i feel like i should post it
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ghouljams · 2 days ago
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Talking about piercings, dad hater Ghost 100% has them and if he doesn’t he’s absolutely getting them the next time your dad tries to fuck the 141 over.
He IS going to make you crave his cock and only his cock no matter what.
Maybe i should stop sending asks, Idk i love hate-fucker Ghost
(Also still thinking about that pegging Price blurb you posted 😩)
- Morph
Ooooh he makes you count the rungs on his ladder piercing as he pushes his fat cock into your pretty little pussy. Keeps talking about ruining your slutty hole so that you never find anyone how fits it like he does, stretching you out so nicely that every other guy you fuck feels small. And you count the bars with your eyes rolling back in your head, your tongue tasting the leather of his gloves and your cunt burning from being just barely prepped so that you feel the balls on each ladder rung tugging at the tight muscle of your entrance. You poor soft toy, being bullied by such a mean mean man, too big for a sweet thing like you. Which is exactly why he does it in front of the mirror, God look at you born with a silver spoon in your mouth and now you're getting fucked stupid by some bloke that barely knew a steak knife from a butcher's knife. Like a bleeding heart whore, debasing yourself for a bloody soldier. God it makes his cock twitch.
And then you hit him with a "see you next time" and a smile as he tugs the door open to leave, and he doesn't have the good sense to turn around and ask what you mean. He can't stop thinking of that smarmy fucking grin you wear every time he gets his hands on you. He's supposed to be the cat here, and you're supposed to squeak.
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Blankets & Burdens
Summary: Sometimes, just sometimes, she catches him flinch.
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader (No use of Y/N)
TW: Very brief mentions of childhood abuse. Brief mention of Merle (He's always a warning). Mostly fluffy with just a sprinkling of angst.
A/N: This is a chapter from a Daryl series I'm writing, but I wanted to see if it would be of interest to anyone before I start posting chapters.
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Daryl is great in a fight, hell of all people she’s ever met if she wanted anyone to fight with it’d be Daryl, he’s quick and instinctive and strong, but sometimes, sometimes she catches the flinch. Not the usual flinch of being hit, the flinch that tells for a split second he remembers. The flinch of the little boy he used to be, the flinch that makes her see him scared and sad and alone. The flinch that makes her see fucking red.
He barely bats an eyelid at walkers, they’re as easy to him as Squirrels now, but when the bigger man’s fist is millimetres from his face she sees him flinch as if watching it in slow motion. She barely remembers moving until she finds herself standing over his lifeless body with her hands bloody. He’s easily almost double her size, hefty as well as strong but fingertips drip onto the ground with a deafening thud that she should barely be able to hear.
There’s a tremor in her hands as she looks at them, she’d like to blame the cold for it but she knows it isn’t the weathers fault. It’s been hotter than Satan’s asshole for weeks, so why they had to go hunting on the coldest day of the damn apocalypse she’ll never know but she hasn’t turned down an invitation for his company yet. He asks if she wants to join and the easy answer of yes rolls off her tongue before she’s even thought about his question. She’d say yes to anything as long as he asked.
“Thanks”
His voice startles her out of her thoughts, and she knows him well enough to know that’s on purpose, so she raises a fleeting smile in his direction suddenly feeling warmer just for having looked at him. She clenches her fist to try and calm the movement in her hand, just missing the way his gaze flicks down and back up in time to clock it. He’s observant to an alarming degree.
“Always”
Daryl’s arm cracks loudly as he pulls the blade out of the mans torso, grunting as he adjusts it in its socket to make sure he hasn’t just dislocated it. She nods towards it as he awkwardly hands her the machete back, trying to ignore the fact his fingers touch hers, trying to ignore the way it electrifies him or the way she shakes.
“You okay?”
“’m fine”
He brushes her off as if the joint doesn’t sting, as if his whole body doesn’t hurt already when he wakes up, as if any of them have been okay since everything started. Sure, the prison is a million times better than being on the road, but its not exactly comfortable and he doubts anything will ever be safe again; what’s a little shoulder pain if not another inconvenience on top of a never ending plethora of inconveniences.
-
There’s a fire going that night. It burns just outside the courtyard where they’ve dragged a handful of chairs to hide, enough behind a building to be out of the line of sight from the walkers gathering by the fence. He watches for a moment as she tries to warm herself up, still delicate hands running the length of her arms as she stares at the flames in front of her. He’s been surprised that she’s managed to stay gentle in all of this, always a smile or a laugh for him but her face looks haunted.
He watches her more often than he’ll admit to, though he’ll admit to exactly zero watching if anyone dared to ask, which they wouldn’t because he still looks terrifying to most people. He’s definitely not in love with her, no way, he definitely doesn’t lay awake at night thinking about how he’d like to grow old with her. Zero thinking or watching, if anyone asked, thank you very much.
He toes his boot on the concrete as he tries to decide if he should leave her alone. He doesn’t, of course, because he can’t. Hasn’t been able to since he found her in a cabin in the woods with more holes than walls. Excuse after excuse to be close to her, and okay there’s a tiny spark of hope in him that feels like she seeks him out too, but he’s never allowed himself to entertain the blossom of it for more than a split second before his low self-esteem takes over.
“Ya alright?”
“Yeah”
Her voice sounds far away, quiet and floating in the middle distance as she stares through the fire without turning to look at him. He sits on a chair next to her, tapping his fingers against his jean covered knee to stop from reaching out to hold her hand or something equally embarrassing.
“Ya sure?”
“I didn’t even blink”
“Huh?”
“Saw you flinch and I just wanted him off you, didn’t even hesitate”
“Yeah” he doesn’t know what to say, he’s had the same urge for her countless times. He never hesitates; he likes the group, he really does despite his disposition, but he thinks they’d probably have to think twice if it was a decision to save him. He doesn’t have a response for knowing she wouldn’t.
“People talk you know? Stuff about your brother”
He grunts in acknowledgment, but he doesn’t have a response. Of all the places he thought this conversation might go, Merle never crossed his mind.
“I think maybe we’re not as different as you think we are. I saw the way you flinched, I…recognised it” She pauses for a beat, flicking her gaze up to him, catches the way he chews on his lip before she continues “I don’t know who or what-“
“I ain’t gon-“
“I’m not asking. I’m just sorry that’s not something you got to tell me in your own time”
He’s taken back by the care in the sentence, though he shouldn’t be. She’s given him pause numerous times with the amount of consideration she shows. He’s not the only observant one between them.
She shivers violently, bopping the soles of her trainer covered feet on the ground to make her body shake.
“Ya alright?”
“Freezing. Can’t get warm, been cold for fucking hours” She tries to laugh but he hears the way her teeth clench as she grits the sentence out. They’ve been back since before sundown, she should have warmed up by now.
“Ya want my jacket?”
“No, I think I’m going to bed” She pauses as she stands. Rests her hand on his shoulder with a firm but gentle squeeze, he resists the urge to gasp at how cold her hands are “Thanks though”
-
The gentle tap of knuckles against metal makes her lift her head. It’s quiet enough not to wake her if she’d been sleeping, and that alone tells her its Daryl before he even draws back the makeshift curtain. For all of his gruff exterior, considerations seeps from his every pore even without trying.
“Brought ya a blanket”
His voice is low, hushed and gruff at the edges but he holds it out to her like a kid who might get scolded for it. She shuffles up slightly, smiling at him in the dim light from the hallway.
“This your one?” She asks, knowing there’s hardly spare anything in this place anymore, taking it and bunching it up under her nose to inhale the smell of him, knowing it’ll look like she’s testing her theory instead of relishing it.
He doesn’t answer which is in itself an answer, she shakes her head, holding it back towards him.
“Jus’ take it”
She studies the way his sock clad feet twitch against the floor, the slightly wringing of his hands in front of him, nervous and shy in a way that’s so him but shouldn’t be.
“Want to share with me?”
“Nah, it’s okay”
She opens the blanket covering her with her free arm, refusing to take her eyes of his face to see if she’s imagining what’s been under the surface with them. It’s minute really, a split second that she’d have missed had she not been looking for it, but his eyes flick down to her bare legs, jaw clicking in what looks like restraint. She tilts her head to the side like a dog trying to understand a situation that seems familiar but isn’t.
“’Cause you don’t want to, or ‘cause you think I don’t?”
He doesn’t answer. Her options are push him out of his comfort zone or take his only blanket and neither seem like a great option, but he hasn’t stopped looking at her and he doesn’t seem like he wants to make a Daryl sized hole in any of the walls.
“Won’t even touch you if you don’t want me to”
A pause, a scoffed laugh under his breath. She expects him to ignore the tease entirely. He’s shy, tentative, she’s not even sure he feels anything like she does but he accepts the invitation with a stiff nod, closing the curtain behind him so the light blurs out. She can just about make out the solid shape of him as he steps forward.
He’s quiet at the best of times, hunting trained steps that are softer than they seem they would be, but he barely makes a sound until he’s sitting on the edge of her cot. Shaky sigh leaving barely parted lips as he eases his legs up onto the bed; sliding under the blanket she offers; throwing his own one on top of them both haphazardly.
“Didn’t say that, did I?”
He lifts his arm up, above her head, sucking in a sharp quiet breath when she burrows into the crook, resting her head on his firm bicep and avoiding his shoulder. Its not like he was expecting her to face the wall or anything, but he’ll never stop being shocked by the casual affection she offers.
“Don’t want to hurt your arm”
He huffs, using his other hand to shift her into a slightly more comfortable but closer position so her head Is resting on his chest. He studies the top of her head like it holds all the answers, like if he can just focus on the tip of her nose that he can see past her hairline he can magically work out what this means.
“Why ya s’ kind to me?” He whispers, as if he hasn’t spent all day caring for them all, hasn’t given up his blanket and his bed to keep her warm. He thinks she might have drifted off before she answers, soft voice low and drenched in the threat of sleep. Comfortable. Warm.
She moves a hand up to his chest, rests it over his heart so she can hear the steady thudding under her palm, presses her lips to the cold skin on his cheek
“Why don’t you think you deserve it?”
“Go t’ sleep”
A snort, dismissive in a way she normally wouldn’t let him get away with. Normally he’s not wrapped around her though, normally the beginnings of rest aren’t pulling behind her eyelids whilst he holds her.
“Goodnight Daryl”
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blue-aconite · 3 days ago
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"Would you please just kiss me?" With Jake Seresin!
I would apologise for not posting sooner but we all know how life gets. Without further explanation, here's your blurb ♥️ Thanks @a-reader-and-a-writer for looking this over!
Blurb Night Masterlist
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It’s been over half an hour since she left the Hard Deck, wandering out onto the beach and walking along the shore. She hadn’t gone far, close enough that the light coming out of the windows was still visible but far enough that she could no longer hear the people out on the patio. 
The sun disappeared some moments ago and the moon is taking its place, casting a cold grey light over the sand. 
“What are you doing out here?”
She keeps her eyes on the waves, tracing the overlaps and motions, even as she answers him. “Thinking.”
She’s hoping the short answer will be enough, that he’ll go back inside and leave her alone but fate has other plans. She should have known it wouldn’t be enough. Like a dog with a bone, Hangman wasn’t the one to let things go. 
Her hope is further crushed when he comes closer, taking a seat in the sand next to her. He’s close enough so that she can feel the heat emitting from his body, his cologne invading her senses. Not in an unpleasant or unwelcome way, just in a way she hadn’t expected. 
“You know, there’s a party going on inside, yet you’re out here alone, thinking.�� Hangman says, leaning back onto his elbows and stretching his legs out. She doesn’t look away from the water but his movements can be seen in the corner of her eye. 
“Which is exactly why I’m here. Too loud to think in there. Out here though? It’s quiet, simple.” She murmurs, drawing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.  She can feel his eyes on her, watching her. “What do you want?”
Hangman takes a moment to answer, as if he has to decide what to say. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m good, thanks.” She’d rather lie than tell him what’s really bothering her. There’s no reason for him to know. He wouldn’t even understand.
Unfortunately, Hangman sees right through her. “Could have fooled me.”
He pulls himself upright, matching her position. It’s odd seeing him look so vulnerable, smaller than he usually presents himself to be. 
When she doesn’t reply, he hesitantly continues, as if he’s afraid she’s going to run off if he pushes too far. “You can talk to me, you know. If something’s bothering you. You’d probably prefer Phoenix or Bob but I don’t see them running out here to check on you.”
She rolls her eyes at the last bit. Even when he’s trying to comfort her, he can’t help but take a shot at their teammates. It’s all in good nature nowadays, but it’s so predictably Hangman that it makes her smile. His concern is touching but she still keeps her guard up. 
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she pauses slightly before adding, “but thank you.” 
Hangman shifts, turning his body sideways so he is closer than before. “I think there is something to talk about, you just don’t want to.”
If getting on her nerves is his mission, he’s succeeding at an alarming rate. Gone is the gratefulness at his earlier offer. “And pray tell, Hangman, what would that be, hm?” She spits out, unsuccessful in keeping the annoyance out of her voice. She knows it isn’t fair to react this way, not when he’s been nothing but kind to her but anything to steer him away from the conversation she doesn’t want to happen.
Hangman holds his hands up, as if to placate her. “Maybe the fact that you’ve been avoiding me ever since Payback’s birthday? The fact that whenever we’re off base, you slink away to sit somewhere by yourself? Or maybe we should talk about how we kissed and you refuse to talk about it?”
Fuck.
The last part of his rant makes her tear her gaze from the water, swirling around in the sand to face him. They end up close, too close, but neither moves. “You remember that?”
It’s a weak response, she knows that but it’s the only thing she can come up with. 
The look in his eyes portrays disbelief. “Of course I remember. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you were drunk? And you didn’t talk to me for the whole day afterwards, so I figured it was just something.. -”
“I didn’t talk to you because when I woke up, you were gone. I wasn’t going to hunt you down over something you clearly regretted but I still think we should talk about it.”
She knows they need to address the whole situation but as he speaks, she can only focus on one thing. “You think I regret it?”
Now he’s the one refusing to meet her eyes. “What was I supposed to think? Like I said, you’ve been avoiding me ever since, so I figured you were just trying to let me down easy without having to say something, which is a shitty move by the way, even for you -”
“Let you down easy?” She’s full of bewilderment at this point and while she knows what he’s insinuating, she can’t make herself believe it. There is no possibility, she’d been telling herself for months. 
“Oh, spare me. You can’t honestly make me believe you don’t know. I think I’ve been very clear about my feelings for you.” Jake declares, a distinct look in his eyes as he straightens up. But the vulnerability on his face betrays his emotions, even if his voice stays strong. 
She feels like she’s falling, a wide black abyss consuming her entire being. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought she’d find herself in the situation. “You have feelings for me?”
She’s well aware that she should probably try to unearth more but she’s still not entirely sure she isn’t hallucinating. This can’t possibly be happening.
Jake laughs incredulity. “Are you telling me you actually don’t know?”
“Well, you never said anything!” She implores.
“I didn’t think I had to! It's pretty obvious.” He responds, shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t just drop a major bomb on her.
She throws her arms out, almost whacking him in the face. “OBVIOUS? How about you use your words instead of just thinking I can read your mind? I had no idea!”
“Why would I kiss you, if I didn’t like you?”
She stares at him blankly, at a loss for words. Everything she had wanted since her stupid crush had manifested itself was happening but for some reason, she couldn’t respond in the proper way. How many times had she wished he would reprecipitate the feelings she had developed for him during their time together? How much had she beaten herself up over kissing him back at Payback’s birthday almost a month ago, knowing that he didn’t feel the same, knowing it was the alcohol? 
She’s vaguely aware that he’s speaking again but her mind is racing, as is her heart, and she blurts out the only thing she’s thinking about. “Would you please just kiss me? Again?”
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cupidhoons · 8 hours ago
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it's weird how you aren't speaking out for the fact that you are using a zionist for your fics. shouldn't you be apologizing or at least acknowledging it? the lack of maturity you have 😭 girl just deleted it and didn't even apologize for it.
perfect timing actually anon! i have a whole post drafted on it in my google docs but i can assure you it's not me apologizing for defending myself against writers accusing me of such things. while i do acknowledge my mistake of not being educated enough on lana del rey and her practically begging the president to fund the genocide, i hope you guys do realize that equating me to being a zionist from this situation is just as insensitive and ignorant.
i urge you guys to read my side on this & understand why me and my two other mutuals are upset.
hi guys! as you all know (or assuming that many of you know) that recently i am being accused of supporting zionism/being called a zionist in general by multiple writers on tumblr. before i go on to defending and dropping screenshots of what actually happened & going on to explain my side of the story, let's take a look at the definition of zionism & why it is absolutely NOT okay to throw it around so lightly.
ZIONISM is not only the general term of supporting israel, but also the term that supports the national ethnic cleansing of palestine, which equates to killing all muslims. (defined by @pshbites or more known as kaia & her other muslim friends who grew up knowing that this is what this word meant.) 
READ ANOTHER DEFINITION FROM JEWISH VOICE FOR PEACE (LINK): “While it had many strains historically, the Zionism that took hold and stands today is a settler-colonial movement, establishing an apartheid state where Jews have more rights than others. Our own history teaches us how dangerous this can be.
Palestinian dispossession and occupation are by design. Zionism has meant profound trauma for generations, systematically separating Palestinians from their homes, land, and each other. Zionism, in practice, has resulted in massacres of Palestinian people, ancient villages and olive groves destroyed, families who live just a mile away from each other separated by checkpoints and walls, and children holding onto the keys of the homes from which their grandparents were forcibly exiled.”
i also urge you to check for more information on kaia’s blog & her personal take on this.
so, now that we know what it means & why it's such a loaded word, let's take a look at what the situation at hand looked/looks like:
the other day i posted a sunghoon fic titled “ultraviolence” inspired by lana del rey’s song (it's now changed to “pictures of us, which was my original title for the fic but thought it didn't quite fit the vibe). now, why is this a problem? because i'm apparently “promoting” an artist that begged the president to fund the genocide in gaza, when NOWHERE in my work stated that you should stream lana’s song, become a fan of her’s, and also support/fund a genocide. 
while i do admit that i handled the “anons” (and i put in quotes bc i know for a fact they were ppl who i knew sent them in) terribly and also explained my own personal thoughts and feelings on this topic badly, my words should not be twisted and blown out of proportion to the point where people can freely accuse me of being part of such a horrible and disgusting group of people.
however, that's only the general situation. the real problem for me was when yesterday morning at exactly 7:22am (this timestamp is important for what i'm about to say later on), okwonyos or better known as jiah, texted me, letting me know that she saw the way i responded to the anon & accused me of “actively supporting” someone who “begged the president to fund the killing of millions of children, women, and men of palestine.” (see screenshots below)
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now, you guys may think that she's only doing what's right & willingly called out a mutual for not having her morals straight, but to be blankly accusing someone of being a zionist when i've been it clear that i stand with palestine & basically saying i'm stupid does not sit right with me. 
her saying that she “isn't going to try and make me gain common sense” was so off topic & so unnecessary to bring up & could've left it at me having my own take on separating the art from the artist, which to many people on blr, “does not exist.” but if separating the art from the artist does not exist, then shouldn't we boycott enhypen too? shouldn't we also stop writing and supporting enhypen too? because last time i checked enhypen, and along with many other groups/artists, are underneath zionist companies. so with that logic, should we just stop consuming content from enhypen and our favorite groups/artists all in all? because if we are going by this logic, then we’re ALL zionists and we are all PROMOTING zionism. 
another thing is when she says “it's weird that you barely talked about what was happening in palestine until it was to defend a zionist.” ??? defending a zionist WHERE exactly? i told the “anons” i received a day before this conversation that i am not a hardcore lana del rey fan, and again, nowhere did i say that i was defending lana & her actions of again, wanting the preseident to fund a genocide. keep in mind also, that she DOES NOT know me personally & that i was NEVER close to her nor did i EVER consider her a FRIEND, so she (along with other writers) has no right to accuse me of “not speaking up about palestine” enough. 
so the fact that im being known as a supporter killing innocent lives of people in the enhablr community when the fact is that i've spoken up about it numerous times in my personal life & have encouraged many people in my life to donate and spread the daily click all because i don't “reblog enough” about it sits weird to me. not only that, but it also gives me the vibe that many writers on tumblr—weather it's true or not—thinks of this genocide as a trend and does it as “preformative activism” for the sake of not wanting to lose followers. (kaia’s post touches more on this too)
now obviously, i did reply to her message and did go back and forth with her for some time while i was present in school. me, being offended & GREATLY angered by her choice of words & going as far as associating me with such people, rightfully called her out on it & brought up the fact that her saying that isn't “cute” or right at all. but clearly, this was all read wrong & i wasnt able to explain or expand on it properly because i was simultaneously also in my homeroom speaking with my friends! 
and i know, someone is going to bring up the fact that i shouldn't have responded immediately or that i could've responded later in my day, but keep in mind that if i didnt, i probably would've been blocked anyway without getting the chance to explain myself properly. i cant help but feel that they messaged me purposefully during that time because they know i would be defenseless either way. 
im going to tell it straight now and say that i know i am in the wrong for not being able to explain myself properly & not touching on these points more in the moment, but i had absolutely NO time throughout the day to explain myself as i was blocked almost immediately by everyone, which says a lot, especially when one of the mutuals who blocked me right after that conversation was close to me & who i even considered my friend. 
besides that however, i will say this once more & once again that i am NOT what numerous people on tumblr think i am & none of you guys know me at all personally either. you guys can believe what you want about this situation, but i urge you all to get to know both sides at the very least before following what bigger writers say. im not doing this to maintain my following or even gain more followers, i just don't appreciate people calling & associating me with a group of people that i am so against. i don't at all appreciate people assuming they know me and my character all so well when absolutely none of them have ever bothered to reach out to me and even get to know me. 
but yes anon, go ahead and tell me how immature i am & say it with your full chest how i am a zionist for simply using a popular song that everyone has heard one way or another as my title on my fic!
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puppppppppy · 8 months ago
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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greenlantrns · 8 months ago
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You don’t actually have to share the ‘bad’ parts of your regression btw. It’s okay to create a space to appreciate the good parts of your regression without dishing out your trauma to strangers on the internet.
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 year ago
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people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?
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flowerakatsuka · 8 months ago
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i can't believe that a show who's main bread & butter is masturbation jokes really has me like
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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thedrotter · 8 months ago
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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shiryawashere · 28 days ago
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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radish-club · 10 months ago
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From what I understand people were initially dismissive of Pact saying it was bad (WRONG) but later gave it a reassement saying it was good (CORRECT).
Similarly, I saw folks being dismissive of Pale saying it was bad (WRONG) but one day it may also get a reassessment with people saying it was good actually (WRONG).
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lususnatura · 5 months ago
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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dullahandyke · 8 months ago
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neeeeed them to have hatesex
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[ID: Aura Blackquill from Ace Attorney and Larxene from Kingdom Hearts.]
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hopefulqueer · 7 months ago
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I'm starting to think the reason I'm not as good of a writer as I want to be is because I like writing more than I like reading.
#which isnt to say i dont like to read#but i find it so difficult to get interested in new fiction#why would i bother reading stories other people wrote when i could just write mine?#i don't have this issue reading nonfiction ive been so into nonfiction#and i feel like THAT has helped me write better just by teaching me about more things so i can make worlds make more sense#but one time i told somebody i was writing a story that's kind of a zombie apocalypse but for plants and they said#'oh that's exactly like this other book' (i forget the name) 'you should read that one!'#and it made me unreasonably angry#i don't care abt someone else's story with a vaguely similar concept. i care abt mine.#and i know this makes me seem like an asshole and i probably am for this specific thing#but i read every book i could get my hands on as a child#and then as soon as i was able to write my own stories that stopped being the case#like all that reading was just training me to do what i can do now#and i think if i could just get over my disinterest in other ppl's fiction books and start practicing deconstructing what makes a good stor#i would start improving my writing more#and short stories! fuck. i hate reading other ppl's short stories unless they're written by friends#but as im starting to submit my short stories to publishing magazines n stuff#im realizing i'll have a better chance of getting published if i read the other stuff those mags have posted before#and write what they want to have submitted. but then it's not necessarily what *i* want to write. u know?#i don't know how to fix this fundamental problem of me preferring writing over reading#(and this applies to fanfic too btw. i hardly ever seek out fic to read unless a friend sends it to me. and often i like it when they do!#but not as much as i like writing or reading my own writing.)#just why would i READ when i could be WRITING and writing is so much more FUN
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