Timbits Disappearing Act
Whelp, recently I mentioned an old fanfiction I read awhile ago that had an idea I liked, but a plot that I didn’t really, so here’s my take on it I guess?
Inspired by this post, although it ended up more like Canada is still just invisible. Its in the tags on that post that I mentioned the other fic
Also sorry about the ending, I couldn’t think of anything more satisfying than whatever people imagine Alfred had to do to earn the timbit’s forgiveness.
Very few nations knew this about him, but Canada loved donuts. Almost as much as he loved maple syrup. If he had to choose, he’d probably rank donuts in third place. First place would be maple syrup, obviously. Second place would be maple donuts.
He never tried to hide this fact, but almost nobody knew because most of the nations couldn’t really see him.
He had theorized before about why that is. He used to think maybe it was because he wasn’t likable enough, but he’s pretty much as likable as a nation can be, and nothing changed. Then he thought maybe he wasn’t exciting enough, but even inventing a sport where people tied knives to their feet and tackled each other on purpose hadn’t changed anything. That’s when he started thinking: maybe it wasn’t him exactly, maybe it was circumstance.
There were so many nations. Very few of them ever actually got to talk during a world meeting. Dialogue was not split evenly. It was a competitive environment, and while Canada wasn’t bothered by competition per se, having a say during the global meetings wasn’t usually something he was motivated to do.
He was cozy where he was. He used to be a bit resentful of his brother, how people just seemed to pay attention to him naturally. Alfred just always seemed to have the spotlight. Over time though...
“America!”
he learned to appreciate the benefits of near invisibility.
Alfred’s attention moves back to the front of the room, where Austria had been giving his presentation. Matthew takes the opportunity to lean over and grab another timbit from the box his brother stole from him.
Austria was glaring up at Alfred from his spot by the podium, “How many times do we have to tell you not to bring food to meetings?”
“Well, it worked after four, but this is the nineteenth time your askin me that, so my bet is on a number higher than nineteen,” Alfred says with a winning smile.
Multiple sighs and groans echoed around the room.
“Huh,” Matthew mutters around a mouthful of donut, “even Austria is getting on your ass about it now. You really should stop eating at meetings, Alfred.”
Alfred’s smile doesn’t slip an inch as he spins in his chair to flip Matthew the bird, and Matthew laughs in response.
Across the room, England frowned, “what kind of maths is that supposed to be? If it's the nineteenth time, then it didn’t work after the fourth.”
Alfred continues his chair spin till he’s gone 360 degrees around to point back at Arthur, “Yeah, except for it did! I haven’t brought any food to a meeting since the fourth time y’all told me not to!”
“America, you have two boxes of…,” Germany frowned, “What do you call those again?”
“Munchkins,” Alfred answers automatically, glancing innocently over at Matthew, “they’re from Dunkin.”
Matthew sucks in a breath and almost chokes. Alfred scoots over to pat him hard on the back, but keeps his eyes on Germany. Matthew tries to glare at his brother anyway. Hopefully he got his point across without words. If my windpipe wasn’t full of delicious TIMBITS right now, you’d be in so much pain.
“Right,” Germany says, clearly confused to see Alfred waving his hand in the air strangely, “whatever they are, you have two boxes of them. Sitting right in front of you.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t bring those,” Alfred replies simply.
Matthew, recovered from what would have been one of his most embarrassing deaths yet (even if it was only Alfred who noticed), decides to enact his revenge. First though, he’ll grab another handful of timbits.
“Then who did?” Arthur asks.
Alfred points directly at Matthew, his finger almost poking his brother’s nose. His brother, who is frozen with one hand deep in the box of timbits, right in front of everyone at the meeting.
“Canada,” Alfred says.
There was a moment of silence, and the whole room seemed to pause. Everyone was looking in Matthew’s direction. He could feel himself starting to blush with embarrassment. Alfred looks pleasantly surprised; he hadn’t been expecting that to work either, but it would be nice to not be the only one in trouble for once. Figures the first time Alfred rats me out suddenly everyone can see-
“Who?” he hears.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Alfred cries, throwing up his hands.
Matthew releases a breath, half relief and half disappointment. He grabs both boxes of timbits and slides them back towards his seat.
“Canada!” Alfred says again, still pointing, “Right there! The nation of Canada? My brother?”
Everyone just looked confused.
“The one covered in donut crumbs!” Alfred continues. This makes Matthew glance down at his suit. There were a couple pieces of glaze sticking to his tie, but it wasn’t that bad.
“He brings donuts to every meeting! Every time I get yelled at for having donuts, Canada is the one who brought them. He’s practically addicted!”
Austria is rubbing his temples, “None of this is even important,” he snaps, “I do not care where the doughnuts originally came from. The problem is I can’t even hear myself think over the sound of you chewing.”
Alfred sighs, exasperated, and reaches towards Matthew and the two boxes of timbits, “It's not my fault you have super hearing, Beethoven.” Matthew scoots away, clutching the boxes close to his chest.
Austria’s face flushes, “Beethoven was deaf,” he scoffs, “and German.”
Alfred is looking solely at Matthew though, “bro, you cannot be serious.”
Matthew shakes his head solemnly, “you disrespected my timbits, bro. Disrespect the timbits, and you lose timbits privileges.”
“Wha-, so you’re really not gonna share anymore?” Alfred asks, incredulously.
“You know why it has to be this way,” Matthew says in the most serious voice he has.
“Aw c’mon, Matt, they’re not that different.”
Matthew narrows his eyes with actual irritation. “Go on, dig the hole deeper, I’ll wait.”
Alfred does the smart thing and pauses to consider the options. Insist on being right (because he is) but also end up arguing with Matthew and no donuts, or talk him into sharing...
Alfred puts on what he calls his ‘straight-talkin face’. “Alright, what do ya want for ‘em?”
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Whats your opinion on the whole Christian Horner thing?
Let me preface this by saying, I have intentionally stayed away from this subject for many reasons, but given there was an outcome of the investigation today, and some of the information I’ve seen here throughout the past weeks, now is as good a time as any to respond to this ask I got weeks ago. This is not, nor will I be offering in the future, my opinion on whether Horner is guilty of the accusations or not. I just want to maybe provide context, and information from my experience and career thus far, that might help people understand, and also my opinion on the reaction from people. Caveat - I am not a lawyer, nor will I go into specifics of my current or previous job, however I worked in the legal profession where I worked on legal cases, reviewed evidence, and made submissions and recommendations that went in front of Judges.
Okay my thoughts. My thoughts are that an internal investigation that should have remained private for all parties involved, especially the alleged victim(s), was leaked and used as clickbait and gossip by the media and people on here and other social media sites. I think people decided guilt without having any genuine information, without seeing the evidence and without any credible sources. I think were the person being accused a different member of the paddock that the reaction would have been different. I think people used this to virtue signal and cry out about what good people they are. I think people that constantly say that the media and journalists shouldn’t be trusted, fed into a feeding frenzy that led to the name of the alleged victim(s) being published, which will undoubtedly impact them for the rest of their lives.
Onto specific things I have seen that I’d like to offer my take on:
Christian allegedly offering the victim a sum of money - First of all, for anyone who has a certain amount of wealth, especially those in the public eye, this is a usual occurrence. You try to avoid an investigation by any means possible, whether you’re innocent or guilty, because a) it’s easier and usually cheaper in the long run, b) pr and public image are damaged by even unfounded accusations and these things can run on for an extremely long time, and c) trial by media is a thing, and innocent people get tarnished for the rest of their lives because of something they were accused of. Now, I’m not saying any of those are why the offer was allegedly made, but those are some of the reasons. Companies do the same thing, when someone has an accident at work and hurts themselves, even if the company do not believe themselves to be at fault they will make a settlement offer, to avoid any legal back and forth. Settlements are not an admission of guilt, but a way to make something go away quickly.
Said money being why the investigation “went away” - I saw a quote that said “the grievance has been dismissed”, that means there was a finding, not that it was withdrawn. even so, this was a red bull investigation carried out by an external barrister. Once the company were made aware of the allegations, their investigation is independent of either party involved, so even if the alleged victim(s) withdrew their grievance, the company would still have a duty of care to ensure that any inappropriate behaviour or actions were identified, investigated and addressed. Most importantly, red bull want to protect themselves legally, and following the procedures and carrying out a thorough investigation, which would identify if they were potentially exposed to risk, is how they do that.
How can they ignore 100’s of pieces of evidence - We don’t know that they did. It was reported, but never confirmed that there was over 100 pieces of evidence submitted, so this is absolute hearsay. Further, I would be extremely surprised if the investigation ignored any piece of evidence, given the ramifications of an incorrect or improper investigation. Also I think it’s really important to say that evidence does not equal guilt or that one party to the proceedings is correct. Allow me to provide you with a personal example. I worked on a case where there was over 5000 pages of evidence submitted into a legal bundle. Approximately 4000 of those were from the appellant who argued that the other party had acted incorrectly. (forgive my vagueness here I’m not about to doxx myself). 4000 pages of evidence, which I reviewed and made a decision that I did not support their argument. The judge agreed with me also. Evidence can be subjective, and sometimes it can be completely irrelevant. The presence, and submission of evidence is to support one sides view of things, the other side will have their own, and both are examined and balanced and decisions made on that and sometimes also on other independent investigation.
The investigation is private and cannot be shared - This is law. GDPR in fact because this is occurring within Europe. I’m literally spending this entire week on a GDPR course, and have an exam on Friday, so I really don’t want to go on about legal basis and restrictions for sharing personal data, but let me tell you it’s for good reason, especially with investigations like this. All parties involved in this have a legal right to privacy, covered by the human rights act, and unless there is a compelling legal reason why their data should be shared, then it can’t be without their explicit consent. Simple as. And that’s disregarding that there will be confidential company information within the investigation that also cannot be shared.
Horner committed a crime - given that we do not know the specifics of what occurred we simply don’t have enough information to know this, HOWEVER, from the information I have read, and by the fact that I have not seen an indication that the police have been involved with this, nor are they carrying out their own investigation, I am working under the assumption that no law has been broken.
tl;dr - These are real people’s lives, we are not involved and we have no right to know anything. This isn’t salacious gossip, and it’s not a fun thing to band around and use as a stick to beat people with to prove how good we are. Processes and investigations like this should be private, and basing things on hearsay and unscrupulous reporters does more damage to any alleged victims than good. Having seen how fans and social media have treated this investigation, do you think that makes any other alleged victims want to come forwards? I think not. But that’s just me.
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ok so there's murder time trio where theyre best buddies and get along and sometimes even having more than just platonic interactions. and then there's also the murder time trio where they genuinely just don't like each other and avoid each other and do NOT get along and to me there's just a VERY clear timeline of events that could connect these two group dynamics. like these 2 could coexist,,,,,,
nightmare's fresh outta his little corruption sequence and he needs his henchmen. goes out and gathers the obvious three killer horror and dust (does it really matter how he got them??? kidnapping or not the trio will warm up to him). its his first time having to deal with mentally unstable grown up mortal men and he really has no idea how to manage the team so he lets them have some slack. spoils em a bit yk yk stops fights allows them to hang out allows em to screw around the castle even COMFORTS them,,,, shocking i know (a slightly nice nightmare interpretation from triglycercule? UNFATHOMABLE!!!!)
this killer's fresh outta something new so he's still kinda curious and nosy. he hasnt seen the multiverse and especially not interacted with nightmare/horrordust so he's kinda more outgoing and friendly (ish. to get to know better everyone and satisfy the curiosity of seeing what reactions and feelings these fellas could give him.) bc killer's not that much of a prick and horror and dust would naturally SLIGHTLY get along (and if in the right environment be good buddies. which is nm's lenience and killer's not shittiness) the mtt actually get along pretty well and are good buds!! like the first group dynamic i mentioned where the bad sanses are just kinda like a friend group except they have some weird work relations
and then a fight breaks out and nightmare kills either dust or horror (what about??? anything!) likely dust first because he's more likely to be wary of nm (if kidnapped) and also because he's just kinda more actively righteous compared to horror (who likely wouldn't do much against nm) or killer (does not give a shit.) dust dies, horror likely dies defending dust and that just leaves the og killer and nightmare
nightmare is like "oh shit i just killed my workers". he'll take like a week to ponder what he did and then completely move on (because hes an ass like that.) nightmare gets another horror and dust to replace the ones he killed. and killer is just like wtf how do i deal with this. the guys i were kinda friends were are dead but their copies are right here. like he knew copies existed in the utmv but he didn't think nightmare was so willing to replace them so fast???
this killer's still adapting to the multiverse and stuff (it probably hasn't even been a year since he got snatched up!!!) and yeah hes aware that copies exist and he could get replaced by one but he didn't think that it would LITERALLY HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. so he decides to stick more around nm and avoid getting replaced like the og dust and horror because it really just hammers in the point that he's kinda useless if he speaks out like those 2. hes avoidant of the new replacements as well bc hes still new to this experience and is getting used to the whole implications of two guys that were once him and he was friends with died and got replaced by basically the same person
but they still have to work together for obvious reasons. and even if killer's avoiding horror and dust they probably aren't avoiding each other and probably are like wary friends/acquaintances. and naturally killer HAS to become okay worker buddy pals with them because hes stuck living with them. nightmare's a lot stricter and cold to avoid something like dust's rebellion against him happening again. mtt are wary of each other (mostly towards killer. horrordust are pals and killer's kinda growing more apathetic to the duo because he's already experienced a lot of the stuff before with the og two that died.) but theyre still "friends" you could say
and then perchance maybe horror and dust decide to let killer in on a lil secret theyve been cooking up. theyre planning to escape (kidnapped DUH. and nm isn't as nice as he was to og horrordust to warrent them to wanna stay) and even though they don't really trust killer theyre still letting him in on the plan and offer for him to come with them because they lowkey feel bad for him and he's really not all that bad under all the bullshit
but killer saw what happened to the og dust and horror so he says no. and the night that the duo are planning to escape he just has this overwhelming sense of dread. the next morning he wakes up to nightmare standing over his bed with a cold glare telling him of horror and dust's attempted escape and death and killer just kinda. sighs. his dread was right (he was lowkey hoping that they could escape so they didn't die like the original 2)
and then the cycle repeats. previous dust or horror or both die to nightmare or some random outside force or escape (because it has to happen eventually right??) and the pair keep getting replaced. killer keeps witnessing their deaths and replacements and at this point he's just so used to it that he doesn't even TRY to interact with the new horrors and dusts. theyre not even like real people that are getting killed and replaced like robots to him anymore they're just distant coworkers that get fired and then a new one comes to take up the position
each new dust or horror is icked out by nightmare and killer. nightmare is incredibly cold and intimidating and dictatorial and just sucks in general. and killer gives them this distant look. like he knows something they dont. he's already proven to them that he knows that they should obey nightmare and how to deal with the king and they know he's been here longer than them but even when he's not with nightmare or not talking about him they get the blank stare
sometimes when a nicer replacement of horror decides to do something nice for killer like make him a meal he just gives him that look and declines (there's already been countless different horrors that tried doing nice stuff for him. it's not new and nice in his eyes anymore.) maybe when a dust replacement gets irked by killer's apathy and decides to try and say something that'll bother him or snoop through his personal stuff killer will just walk away or kick him out of his room with that creepy ass blank stare again (it's not the first time a dust has tried to rile him up. it's not new or interesting and just predictable)
killer just doesn't CARE about the new horrors and dusts. they're all pretty much the same two guy except maybe a bit nicer or meaner or quieter or even taller or something?? all he really cares about is is serving nightmares atp, no other outside relationships. and ngl he doesn't even care that much about nightmare either. he's already figured out his thinking he's already figured out all of his likes and dislikes and what not to do to piss him off. the only reason he's still dealing with him is because he doesn't have anything else better to do and he doesn't wanna be useless to the one guy that he's served all this time
he's just kinda stuck in an empty boring limbo that killer's only maintaining due to a lack of motivation and any other priorities. and personally i just think this bad sans dynamic is lowkey tragic because like killer keeps witnessing all these guys that he used to be friends or enemies or rivals or whatever with and they just keep dying or leaving him behind. not one ever stays for THAT long (because no wayyyy a dust or horror would take being under a cruel nightmare well) and it's given him this idea that none of these people matter (aside from the important one which is nm) because they're just gonna leave me and the connections ill have formed with them will be for nothing so why even try being vulnerable and friendly and interacting with these cheap copies of the guys i USED to be friends with
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