#which is another reason i feel like i should tell her. he would accept drugs as payment sometimes. if both of them are strung out like that

[truckstoptigers]

i feel like i need to tell my sister's mom about what he did

it doesn't sit well with me that there could be a possibility he's hurting her or has hurt her the same way. she's eleven just like i was when it stopped

i feel like i'm responsible because i'm the one that left. i feel like i left her. i left her with him and i didn't look back why didn't i say anything she was so little why didn't i tell?

i don't really believe in god but i pray our father hasn't already done the same to her

i don't know if i could take it

[morphids]

break up with your boyfriend, ellie williams

pairing: bestfriend!ellie x afab, curly haired,bi!reader (college au)

chapter: one shot (8k words whoops my finger slipped got my asd diagnosis today lol ig that explains that) proofread but if there's errors idk what to tell u

warnings: explicit sexual content, 18+ so minors dni, subish!ellie, loserlesbian ellie, poc friendly!! drug mentions, marijuana usage, friends to lovers, angst?? ellie gets her coochie ate, so does reader, fingering, ✂️✂️, all that good stuff, they essentially worship each other, cheating (not by reader but sus behaviours n thoughts fs) (tw::: men bf’s a dickspawn imsorry) homophobia.

summary: you have a horrible boyfriend, ellie’s always hated him. 

a/n: full word vomit im sorry if its ass but also i kinda lost my composure writing this 🤭🫣😵‍💫

AS ALWAYS FUCK DRUCKMANN AND ALL ZIONISTS, resources for Palestine and the daily click linked on my pinned post!

**

You were tired, drained. Hours had passed and you and your boyfriend were still at it. Angry words and misunderstood sentences all throughout the day had resulted in yet another fight between you.

"Dean, I've said it so many times, I can't go through it again,"

Dean, your boyfriend of a few months had a rocky track record, from keeping in close contact with his ex, to not telling interested girls that he's not single. The situation was always the same, you'd express your discomfort with something and he'd get angry, defensive. Then, eventually after so much arguing would get you to 'realise' that it's no big deal, that you shouldn't have reacted that way at all and in fact, you should apologise to him for making him feel like a cheater.

You had considered breaking up with him, so many times, in fact. Yet, you simply couldn't bring yourself to do it, still holding out with hope that things will improve.

"Baby, I swear nothing is going on, she's just my friend."

"Fine, okay." You ceased, feeling mentally drained by hours of conflict, "I have to go, need to meet Ellie, we have that test soon."

"You're leaving?" Dean said, clearly still agitated and pumping from the fight,

"Yes, Dean," you sighed, glancing in the mirror to double-check that your makeup hadn't been ruined from the previous crying, "I told you, this exam is really important," In other words, you have more things to be worrying about than your issues with him.

Gathering your books and piling them into your tote bag, you felt Dean's eyes on you, silently steaming as he saw you pick up your books.

"I'll see you later," Without looking back, you grabbed your keys from the side of the door and headed out.

He always had a problem with Ellie, which you couldn't understand, she was always supportive and kind to you. What reason would he have to dislike her?

You had been friends ever since that first physics class three years ago, you had sat in the row in front of her, over fifteen minutes into the lecture had passed until you felt a tap at your shoulder. Turning, you were greeted with green eyes and a smiling face adorned with light freckles.

"Hey, you got a spare pen?" She looked bashful, almost embarrassed that she hadn't been prepared even for the first class of the year. A half smile was placed on her lips. Amused, you gladly handed her a pen, pleased that you had an abundance of pens neglected at the bottom of your tote bag. You were always prepared, just not the most organised.

At the end of the lecture, she tried to hand you back the pen, but you refused and insisted she kept it, was she planning on asking someone for every class she had? That was just inefficient.

When you wouldn't accept the pen back, she ripped out a rough square from a page of her notebook, scribbling her number quickly so she could pay you back for the pen. 

You had been friends ever since, there was something that just worked. She had been there long before Dean and you would be damned if he was to get in the way of your friendship.

You had reached Dina and Ellie's place, they both shared the accommodation whilst you lived in a one-bed en-suite in a dorm. Dean lived at his fraternity, which you always hated going to meaning you spent most of the time at your place instead. 

Knocking, you only waited for a few seconds until the door swung open, revealing Ellie, clad in a white tank top and some grey sweatpants. The open door had caused a draught to haze through the air, the faint scent of smoke and music softly playing at a low volume.

"Hey, you." She spoke, smiling that usual smile that was seemingly tattooed on her lips. Ellie moved out of the doorway to let you in, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the familiar, comforting living room.

"Hey," your tone must have not been well received, as it prompted a,

"Well, what's gotten into you?"

"I've had the worst day, Dean-" you were interrupted by a slightly exaggerated groan, with an added,

"What has he done this time?"

"Ellie.." you sighed, dropping your tote from your shoulder and to the floor, kneeling down to pull out your books and pens.

"I'm serious," she threw her hands up, leaning against the edge of the desk where her work had been all set out already, "He's always up to some bullshit."

Ellie was confused, annoyed actually as you explained the situation to her. In her head, as a lesbian, the solution to these kinds of issues was so, so obvious to her; break up with him, he's not worth it. She had repeated this rhetoric to many of her men-loving friends, all of which refused to listen to her only to turn out heartbroken in the end, anyway.

"I wasn't exactly being rational either," you tried to explain, not that you were making excuses for him, but you felt a certain need to defend your relationship with Ellie. She was always so judgemental of the people you dated. You knew deep down that it was her way of looking out for you, she had consistently been the one to bring you comfort during your relationship breakdowns. And there had been a few of them.

"Don't do that, that's exactly what he wants," She spoke sympathetically, her words very soft considering that, mentally she was currently fighting Dean, and winning.

What was wrong with these guys? Ellie thought, you had dated some specimens before, but this new fraternity bro, Dean? She couldn't stand him.

Seemingly fuelled by his returned distaste towards her, but she knew the real reason why.

He was a pig. Flirting with any girl that'd give him attention, Ellie had caught him at parties with drunk girls hanging off his arms, inches away from their faces, centimetres away from cheating. Only for him to charm his way out of it when you confronted him. It pained her to see you go through this, especially when there were so many options out there. Like her, for example.

To be frank, Ellie's asking for that pen three years ago hadn't been entirely innocent. Whilst, it wasn't a lie per se, as she did, in fact, not have a pen on her first day, making her feel like the worst student on the planet.

She had taken notice of you when you first walked into that physics class. Eyeliner, framing the outer corners of your eyes and tight curly hair that lay perfectly around your face caught her attention. You were so beautiful, she knew she had to talk to you.

As you two had gotten to know each other over those first few months, her little crush had evolved from simple attraction to a full-blown, 'would rip the sun out of the sky if it meant seeing you smile', feelings situation. Whilst her initial intention had been to try and flirt a little bit, over time (really didn't take that long) Ellie realised that you were something special. The bond and groove you had as platonic friends was too great to risk ruining it all. So she decided, her feelings shouldn't be the thing to damage it. Ellie being Ellie, didn't know how to deal with said feelings, so she had made a pact with herself to never act on them, never expect anything other than platonic behaviour on your part, and never, ever let you find out. So whilst you dated, so did she.

"Anyways, can we talk about, literally anything else now? Like our exam that we have in a few days, perhaps?" You hummed, kicking your shoes off and sprawling on her couch, reaching down into your bag for something you had saved for this exact moment.

"Right, 'cos studying is the reason why you're laying dead on my couch right now." Ellie chuckled, joining you and holding your legs up to settle her body on the couch as well, before placing your legs on top of her lap.

"What are you even looking for?"

"Just wait, you'll see." You responded, still rooting through the bag, god where is it?

"Well, not if you can't find it in that damn bag, how do you even find anything in those?"

"Shut up," you chuckled, feeling better already. That's something you loved about Ellie, no matter what would happen to you, a few minutes with her and you'd feel like you had taken uppers.

"Ah, finally," you breathed out, fishing out a single joint that had become embarrassingly bent in the trauma that is, being an object lost inside the bottom of a tote bag.

Ellie laughed when her eyes caught sight of the bent joint, rubbing her eyes as they started to tear from the entertainment.

"You didn't have to go through that much effort to pull out that monster, plus you know I always have enough here, we don't need to smoke yours."

"It may look unfortunate, but this is the best shit in town right now." You tried to sell, "Got it from Xav,"

"Xav? How did you manage that?"

"One of Dean's frat brothers put in a huge order with him and sold me some, thought I'd save it so we could smoke it together." 

"You truly know the way to my heart," Ellie gushed, before leaning over your legs, to grab the closest ashtray and a lighter, passing it to you, roller's rights, after all.

"This doesn't look like studying, though," Ellie spoke, eyes falling to your lips as they wrapped over the end of the joint, sparking and taking a drag. She excused her thoughts.

"I just want some peace before I have to focus on work, you know?" You said, exhaling out the smoke.

Ellie sighed, knowing Dean was truly taking a toll on you, she watched as your face fell, obviously being reminded of the previous events. She wishes there was more she could do, how many times could she say leave him, before it sounded too obvious? Too pushy? Too out of line?

"Fuck him, don't worry about that for now. You're with me, this is a Dean-free zone." Ellie cheered, taking the lit joint as you passed it to her.

You felt her fingers trail random lines and shapes on your leg as she smoked, probably not even aware she was doing it. It was comfortable and set off a wave of sleepiness to hit you.

Ellie passed you the joint back,

"You going to that party tonight?" She asked,

"I don't know, I think Dean wants to go but I was planning on sitting this one out,"

"Why don't you come? Dina and Jesse will also be there, so you don't have to spend the whole party with him,"

"Fine, only because I haven't seen Dina and Jesse for a while,"

"I can live with that," she chuckled.

Deciding you were no longer comfy in that position, you lifted your legs up off Ellie, before manoeuvring your body so that you were sat side by side. Passing the joint back to her, you rested your head on her shoulder. What you didn't notice was Ellie's visible tensing the second you laid your head on her.

It wasn't like it was unusual behaviour from you, yet she reacted like this every time. 

"What do you think of it?"

"Fuck yeah, it's good," she swallowed, head turning to glance over at you resting your head comfortably on her shoulder, "You falling asleep down there?"

"No..." you mumbled, your voice visibly getting quieter as you were getting sleepier. You were just so tired. Constant arguing with Dean, working or studying. You needed a break, plus Ellie had a habit of being super comfortable to nap on.

"You sure?"

"No..."

"It's alright, have a nap, we’ll study later."

Ellie chuckled, she continued smoking the joint to its ends, relaxed by the sound of your breathing as you fell asleep. She took the opportunity to observe you for a minute, you looked peaceful, a hell of a lot more peaceful than you were when you first entered. She wished that you could always be that content, at peace. Ellie wanted you to be happy, whether with her or not, she just didn't want you so stressed and drained by yet another unhealthy relationship.  

It was then she took time to think, how messy the situation had truly become.

—

After your nap, you and Ellie actually did finally study, spending a few hours going over the course material and sharing notes. With a few distractions here and there, but successful nonetheless.

You were back at home, Dean seemingly long gone back to his own place, as you got yourself dressed for this party. Texting Ellie that you were ready, you awaited her knock on your door, as your place was a bit closer to the party you decided you'd make your way there together and you'd crash back at your house later.

Once she arrived, you two made your way to the party, it was in the next block of student accommodation, so it was only a quick walk.

Before long, you had reached the party, greeted by its loudness with thumping music and loud chatter.

"It's fucking packed," you complained, already nervous. The bass of the loud music echoing in your chest, exacerbating the anxiety you felt.  

"It will be okay, let's go find Dina and Jesse,"

It took a few glances to land on them but they had been settled in a corner with two other girls. One with short black hair and the other with long, blonde hair.

Making your way towards them, Dina spotted you and Ellie and eagerly waved you guys over to their spot.

"Bitch! Where have you been?" Dina questioned, and truly it had been an unreasonable amount of time since you'd seen her, which is weird considering how often you were at her and Ellie's place.

"Don't get me started," you sighed, whilst smiling at her and wrapping your arms around her.

"Well, it's good to see you, we missed you!" Gesturing towards herself and Jesse, who took his cue to also greet you.

Dina introduced you to her friends who were also sitting with them, the one with black hair was introduced as Cat, and the blonde was called Abby.

They were nice but you weren't too sure about the dark-haired one, she seemed a bit standoffish to you, only, but welcoming and friendly to everyone else in your group, and especially to Ellie. You noted it and placed the thought at the back of your head for dissection later.

In the ten minutes you had been there, Dean had spotted you and walked over. Causing an eye roll to come from Ellie,

"Hey, you're here!" He was drunk, words slurred and eyes heavily lidded. How much had he already had to drink?

Wrapping his arms around your waist, and nuzzling his face into your neck, the scent of alcohol lingered on him and you found that you didn't want him to be that close to you.

Your eyes met Ellie's briefly before she quickly looked away and took a long sip from her cup, which had been filled up with some vodka and whiskey mixed with some chaser by Dina. She turned her head away from you and began talking to Cat, faces a lot closer than most people. 

You tore your eyes away from their interaction, turning to face Dean.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Dean shrugged, too incapacitated to care too much before making his way back to some of his frat brothers. Yuck.

You were making your way to the bathroom, hoping to find the right door, but you weren't successful the first time, the second or the third. You were starting to wonder how many goddamn rooms were in this place until you finally reached it, and it was of course labelled with a stupid little diy frat sticker that said 'bathroom' featuring other, more immature graffiti. Apt, you thought.

The light was on but the door was slightly ajar, thinking nothing of it you walked in believing it to be empty. The room was also, of course, occupied. You mentally laughed at your own bad luck as you saw Abby sneaking a cigarette out the window. Her body perched up on the windowsill as she breathed the smoke out the open gap.

"Shit- oh it's just you," she chuckled, holding her hand on her heart indicating that you had slightly frightened her, clearly from her doing something she isn't supposed to be doing.

"Sorry, thought it was empty," you said, turning your body towards the door in an effort to leave her to it,

"You don't have to leave I'm just smoking this before any of my team sees me,"

That brought a smile to reach your lips,

"Why are you sneaking cigarettes like a 16 year old?"

"Athletes aren't really meant to smoke, but shit happens. I just don't want to hear it from coach." She mumbled taking her final drag, throwing the butt out the window.

"I'll take it to my grave," You promised, making a little zip motion on your lips.

"All yours," she smiled, making her way out of the bathroom.

"I won't take long, we can head down to the group together,"

So you did, exiting the bathroom, Abby smiling at you,

"Let's go?"

"Sure,"

You had travelled down the stairs, engaging in random, friendly small talk until you had reached everyone. Abby sat back down next to Dina and Jesse, who were ranting amongst themselves, whilst Cat and Ellie had been left to their own devices. Now, you and Ellie had been friends for a while, you kinda knew what she looked like when she was flirting with girls. And this was definitely that. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Dean respawning in your face again,

"Wanna explain that?"

That completely broke you out of your little trance, explain what?

"What?"

"Why were you in the bathroom with her?"

"She was-" you remembered your promise to her, "We were just chatting, nothing weird happened, if that's what you're thinking."

He grabbed your wrist and walked with you to a quieter corner of the room,

"Why are you lying?"

"Dean, nothing happened we were chatting because she was in there when I walked in,"

"Do you know what she is?"

"I just met her today, Dean," You didn't want to deal with this right now, Ellie had said she was going to try and help you escape Dean tonight and instead she got annoyed by his presence and began flirting with Cat.

"What is with you and hanging out with all of those d-...", he trailed off,

"Those what, Dean?" You were beyond angry at this point, you didn't like what he was implying.

"You know, all those le-"

"Hey," your altercation was interrupted, "Everything cool?" Ellie was looking between you both, eyebrows furrowed as she looked you over, gauging the situation. She knew you could fight your own battles, but when a drunk man is getting too handsy on someone it's always good practice to remain vigilant.

"We're fine." He said, his words less slurred now, a bit more pissed off. Egged on by the fact that his very point had just interrupted him.

"Oh yeah?" She pressed, making sure to look at you when she asked, having watched the interaction since he dragged you away.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you added, trying to give her a grateful look with your eyes, whether she got the message or not wasn't confirmed. Ellie wasn't one to let things go, but then she asked you if you wanted to be left alone with him and when you simply said 'Yeah I can deal with this," there was nothing more she could do without being too out of line. 

Sighing to herself, she dragged her feet back to the group, silently warring with herself over her actions, wondering if she put her nose in someone else's business or whether she didn't act enough. She had decided that was enough for the night, she'd try and focus on something else.

Whilst you were frustrated; you didn't want to explain the situation to her yet, at this point.

"Dean I don't like what you're trying to say, I don't want to be near you right now, we can talk about this at home."

"Sure, whatever." He walked off. You exhaled a sigh that had been festering in your chest for a while.

Wandering back to Dina, Jesse and Abby, noticing a considerable lack of Ellie and Cat. But at least you could clear your mind, Dina offered you another drink- which you gladly took.

You were in conversations with your friends, a good amount of minutes had passed and you finally caught sight of Ellie. You felt your heart twitch, your stomach churning at the sight.

Ellie was engaged in some heated make-out with that Cat, her hands tightly wrapped around the back of the girl's neck. The lights of the room bounced off her skin, illuminating them in deep reds and blues, as their lips moved against each other. It was hot, you couldn't lie. Perhaps the alcohol had hit you a lot more than you thought. You had seen Ellie in action, but not in action.

You felt yourself start to stare, lost in the sight of Ellie until you felt your breathing start to quicken and your legs fidgeting. You had to pull your eyes away, shaming yourself in your head for even looking that long, like a damned pervert.

Taking another sip of your drink, your thoughts trailed, you wondered what it would feel like to be in Cat's position, to feel Ellie's passionate grasp and soft lips against yours. You wondered if her kisses would feel loving and warm, not cold like you were used to.

You quickly dismissed your thoughts, blaming it on the alcohol, wondering what was spurring this on, all of a sudden.

You soon decided it was probably time to head home, the party had lived its course and you were in a worse mood than when you first got there. Mission failed, indeed.

Saying your goodbyes to Dina, Jesse and Abby you made your way through the dance floor to Ellie.

"Hey, I'm gonna head out," You interrupted a conversation occurring between Ellie and Cat.

"Oh, you sure?" She glanced between you and Cat, "Will you be okay getting home?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm gonna find Dean and we're gonna go,"

"Oh," her face soured, "You're really still going home with that guy?"

"Well..." you stilled, you didn't exactly want to, but you knew he wouldn't give up until he got to say his piece, regardless of where you were, "We have stuff to talk about, I guess." Your voice and tone sound beaten, tired.

"I see," She glanced you over, hesitant, as if she was about to say something but then changed her mind. You could almost see thoughts flying in her eyes. 

"See you later," Cat smiled at you, though it didn't quite reach the corners of her eyes, no crease of skin. Everything seemed polite on the surface, but there were weird undertones in her voice, indifference. The vibe of that was definitely weird, right?

"Yeah,"

With that, you found Dean and left to go home.

—

Panting, you were panting. Heavy breaths mixed with sloppy touches in the darkness of red and blue lights.

You pulled away, glancing at Ellie, the corners of her plump lips curling into a smirk as she caressed your thighs. Fingers teasing near your entrance, you were completely ready for her touch, dripping, waiting.

"I can't wait to taste you, baby." she spoke, her words soft but with a hint of a growl that excited you, eager for what was about to come.

Then your eyes split open, and you were lay on your bed, hours had passed and you had been fast asleep. Sleep came easy, induced by the alcohol you had consumed, as you realised you had just been dreaming.

It took you a few seconds to stir and become conscious of what you had been dreaming about. Then the shame hit. What the fuck was that?

It didn't last long though, before you heard Dean's voice,

"That was hot,"

You slightly jumped at the surprise of his voice, not expecting him to have been awake and especially aware that you were having a dream of such nature, about your best friend of all people.

"You got me all hard, babe." You suddenly felt too overwhelmed, flashes of Ellie's lips and fingers cursed your mind as Dean's voice was mixed into your thoughts.

Confusion and panic hit your senses, you didn't want to look at Dean's expecting face when your mind was still reeling with the faint remnants of being under Ellie's warm and comforting touch, even in the astral plane, your body still warm and wanting. But not for him. Disgust overwhelmed your veins, poisoning the air in your lungs as you realised you couldn't think of anything worse than him touching you. It was as if that dream had been a message, a sign that this wasn't what you wanted. Or deserved. A sudden unexpected epiphany.

You quickly shot up and ran to the bathroom, no words spoken between you as you closed the door. Ensuring space between you both.

You sighed and grabbed at the roots of your hair, thinking of how utterly fucked this is.

You thought back to Ellie, would she be disgusted at your thoughts? Would she feel weird and uncomfortable if she knew you had been thinking of her that way? Her best, and very platonic, friend. She definitely isn't interested, you thought, remembering the way she had grabbed Cat closer to her and embraced her in a kiss that could only enflame your very being. Jealous. You realised, that's what that feeling was. It seemed to occur a lot regarding Ellie, that feeling.

Dean's voice blared through the door, reverberating through the walls.

"It's about that blond bitch isn't it?" Your eyebrows pulled together, fucks sake.

"Dean, please." It was stupid o'clock in the morning, the last thing you wanted was yet another argument.

"I knew those fucking lesbians would fuck with your head, you've always been a stupid woman, following whoever gives you attention."

His words hurt, and doubly pissed you off. How dare he? Those were your friends he was talking about.

You opened the door, Dean all blotchy and red in the face, fuelled by the past months of his bullshit and borderline abuse, this was the final nail. He was not about to say disgusting things and expect no repercussions. Lifting your hand, you put your entire back into connecting your palm with his cheek, made real by the smacking sound of skin, loud as a gunshot in the dark hours of the night contrasting the silence of no other surrounding sound in the dorms.

"Fuck you, Dean. I'm over this, get out." You stared him right in the eye as he rubbed the throbbing skin of his cheek to alleviate some pain. You couldn't help but feel a hint of relief that it had actually hurt him, as horrid as that sounds. You weren't a violent person, by any means, yet the continuous accusations, the newly exposed homophobia, his vile behaviour - it had to be done. You were done letting him treat you like that.

"I don't need you anyway, can find ten other girls that'd give me what I want."

"Go do that, then." You huffed, wondering why you hadn't done this earlier.

"Already have, sweetheart." He smirked, eyes glinting as he finally lifted the shroud of lies he had been filling your head with. You always knew deep down, you just chose to ignore it. Worms in the brain feasting at any rational thought and your self-respect. You didn't find it in yourself to get angrier.

"Get out of my house, Dean." You finalised, arms crossed over your chest, you just hoped he'd go willingly.

"You're not worth it, anyway." He cements, body turning to put on his shoes, chuckling as his heavy presence finally leaves your door.

You let out a breath, relief, shame and anger seeping into the deepest part of your being.

You were glad he's gone, truly. You just wish you had killed it sooner. Ellie was right, he ain't shit.

You sat on the edge of your bed, suddenly finding that the dark, empty space in your room was doing you no favours.

Pulling out your phone, you drafted a text to Ellie,

3.47 a.m:  you awake?

It was a long shot, you almost gave up on a response for tonight until you felt your phone buzz.

3.49 a.m:  ..always

3.49 a.m:  whats up?

Your lips tilted into a weak smile, before responding,

3.50 a.m:  u should be sleeping rn!

3.50 a.m:  umm so should u

3.51 a.m:  whats wrong?

Sighing, you had to bite the bullet, already started it now.

3.52 a.m:  he's an asshole, i broke up with him

A few minutes passed, and you wondered what was taking so long even though in the grand scheme of time it was only a few seconds, really. It was just anticipation, time felt dragged out awaiting her response. You didn't know that Ellie was laying on her bed feverishly typing, deleting and re-typing, overthinking how to respond. She wanted to say, 'I knew this' and how she was happy he was gone because he was a loser who didn't deserve you anyway. How she never liked him. Ellie didn't want to be insensitive, though, lest she hurt your feelings further. 

3.57 a.m: how are you feeling?

3.58 a.m:  im just glad he's gone tbh

3.58 a.m: had to be done

Ellie couldn't help the hint of a smile that fought its way onto her features, she typed her response. Picking at the dry skin around her thumb with her teeth as she sent her next message, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

3.59 a.m: he didn't deserve you anyway, you're too good for that.

You felt a warmth rush through you, stomach tightening as you read into her words. You wished that she meant it, that her feelings matched yours. Your mind thinks back to Cat, instantly murdering any hope in your heart.

You don't remember when your feelings for Ellie began to change, but looking back on it, you had felt so unsatisfied, seldom comfortable with your past lovers. Ellie was the only person who knew you, truly. Who had loved you and made you feel so safe, her comforting presence always soothing you, you felt like a person around Ellie. Whole. It had just taken some time for life to knock some sense into you to realise. It has always been Ellie. 

4.01 a.m: want me to come to you or you wanna come here?

4.01 a.m: it's so late you don't have to! i'll be ok promise

4.02 a.m: hah good one.. gimme ten mins

Ellie was not messing, not much time passed before she was knocking on the front door of your dorm. 

"Hey," Her voice was soft, gentle, her eyes shining with such a tender glint. She's always had such pretty eyes, you thought. 

"Hi,"

You moved a few steps to give her space to enter,

"How you doing?" She wrapped her arms around you, holding you tighter than you expected,

"Honestly, I'm okay," Ellie took a look at you, gauging your overall mood and believed it, you already looked lighter, less weight (*Dean) holding down your shoulders. 

"Think I mentally checked out a long time ago," you added, sitting down on your bed and lifting your laptop screen to load a show, acting somewhat as a buffer amongst the silence.

"So what happened?"

You couldn't help the audible groan that escaped your lips, "He got pissy when he saw me leaving the bathroom with Abby and accused me of cheating,"

"Abby?" Ellie had taken off her coat and shoes, joining you on your spot on the bed.

"Yeah, she was smoking in the bathroom hiding from their coach, we walked down to the group together, it was only small talk. I was so confused, he started saying things about who I was hanging out with,".

"Meaning?"

"He's a fucking homophobic prick,"

"He said hanging out with 'all those lesbians was fucking with my head', said I follow whoever gives me attention," you sighed, "then I slapped him."

Ellie couldn’t help it, she felt a swell of pride that you slapped him, stood up for yourself. He deserved so much worse, she thought.

Ellie couldn't hide the smirk that reached her lips, as much as she tried to suppress it, it still came.

"That's my girl,"

You didn't expect your stomach to twist when those words left her mouth, opening something up deep inside.

"He finally admitted to cheating, and then it was over," You sighed.

"I'm proud of you," Ellie muttered, fidgeting with her nail-beds, failing to meet your eyes.

"You don't have to say that, I know how pathetic this is,"

Resting your head on the headboard, you brought your legs into a cross,

"Hey, I mean it, it must've been a lot," She paused, her hand coming to rest on your knee, rubbing her thumb over the skin absentmindedly, like it was second nature to her. Perhaps, it was.

You looked over at her, eyes trailing down her features, freckles and the green eyes that still weren't meeting yours, suddenly shy.

"You're amazing, you deserve to know that," she paused, eyes finally meeting your own, determined.

"So are you," Your voice lowered, trailing back to the pretty brunette from earlier.

“So what’s going on with you and that girl?” You shouldn’t have said anything, but it was out before you could stop it. Clearly, your brain kept thinking about it.

“It’s..” Ellie thought about what to say, it would sound extremely horrible to say Cat was mainly a distraction, unfair as she is a lovely person, but it’s true.

“Nothing more than what you saw,”

Vague, was that best response to that, Ellie thought.

“I saw quite a bit,”

“Honestly, she’s great, we get along and all but..’ She’s not you. “I don’t think it’ll go any further.”

“She seemed to really like you, why not?”

Ellie almost wanted to laugh, it was so painfully obvious to her, how could you not see it?

“I guess.. I want something different.”

Her eyes connected with yours, the contact between your eyes felt different now, charged. You caught yourself stealing a glance at her lips, which slightly parted as she spotted where your eyes had fallen.

“Like what?”

She had no response, it was either avoid the question, or firm it. Ellie didn’t know which was the right answer.

"Ellie.." You paused, words caught in your throat, as scenarios rushed through your head like a rolodex of different possible outcomes. Heart tugging at your brain to do something, anything.

"Yeah?" Her head leaned closer to yours, your breathing slowly becoming heavier, the room's environment growing thicker, harder to inhale. Her hand still on your knee, unmoving now, frozen in place.

You could almost make contact with her lips, if you moved just a tiny inch closer. Her hand trailed slightly further up your leg, just a little above your knee, almost as if to test the waters. You wondered if she felt like you did, if she could also feel her veins light up and her body inflamed. Were her lips just as eager to touch yours? Were her hands longing to feel you just as well?

Before you realised, it was out.

"Ellie, can I kiss you?"

A beat, and no response. You felt your heart start to panic, already thinking over how to pretend that had never happened. You almost regretted it, until her hand reached for the back of your neck, reducing the distance between your faces.

Lips meeting yours, shyly at first, hesitant. Ellie’s mind was whirling, feeling her heartbeat pump aggressively throughout her body, there was no way this was reality, she thought. No way that you were here in front of her, asking to kiss her, after all this time of her yearning, feeling like a useless lesbian who would never ever make a move on you.

She could almost feel herself kicking her feet in the air, as she decided to firm it. Scared if she waited any longer, the opportunity would cease to exist, pass her by and join one of those regrets she’d think about as an elder.

Your lips met hers back, eager to push for contact, eager to push closer. Your zeal spurring hers on, as her hands clasped the back of your neck, keeping you in place. Not like you wanted to be anywhere else.

This was it. This is what you should’ve been feeling in the past.

Ellie’s soft, plump lips melted over yours, taunting with a bite and pulling your bottom lip out before entering her tongue into your mouth.

Fuck. That was hot.

You felt yourself getting hotter, damper by the minute as the kiss continues, Ellie’s hand getting more comfortable and trailing down to your thighs.

You pulled apart for a second, taking the time to catch your breath as you looked into her eyes, usually green but now much darker, enhanced by enlarged pupils as she glazed her sights over you. An unreadable expression on her face,

“Are you okay?”

“You’re so hot, and amazing and I-I really want to keep going, I just- I don’t know, I don’t want this to be like a .. rebound thing. I really care about you but I just, don’t want to feel like that, you know?” She rambled on, her thoughts getting ahead of themselves as she was pondering if it happened, then if it was too late to return to what you had been, before things got all naked and messy.

You understood, of course you did. You had literally broken up with him just maybe two hours ago. But it didn’t matter, you had to say it. Let her know and reassure her that it was only her.

“Ellie.. you could never be a rebound to me,” You stammered a little before the next part, “You’re the one I’ve wanted this whole time. It’s always been you.” You pecked her lips, grabbing her face, looking into her eyes hoping she’d see the seriousness in yours.

“I’ve wanted you for a really long time,” she broke contact, “I just didn’t wanna fuck shit up,”

“I mean it, Ellie, I’ve never felt as certain about something as I do this,”

Her stature relaxed, you continued, “I love you, Ellie. I didn’t love anyone else,”

“I love you,” she answered, the corner of her lip tilting up, eyes brighter.

“I’ll just have to show you how much, if that’s okay with you.”

Her gaze turned curious, before nodding, watching as your hands danced down her sides and ever so slightly underneath the fabric of her shirt.

“You can do whatever you want with me, honestly,” she murmured. You caught her body tensing, almost shaky as you lifted her shirt. Warm hands covering the sides of her defined stomach, you squeezed a little, just enough to rile her up.

Which it did, Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as she anticipated your next move. Losing control of her lungs, she was about to explode.

“This okay?” Your hand met the band of her sports bra, digging scarcely into her skin beneath it.

“Yeah,” she exhaled, stuck in place, watching, her cheeks becoming flushed, “Shit,”

You hands pressed over her breasts, tightening pressure around as she let out a content sigh. You dipped your head down to wrap your lips around her nipple, licking laps over the tip and softly blowing air over them when you decided you were done, chuckling to yourself at the goosebumps that now raised on her skin,

“Don’t tease,” She murmured, composure dwindling.

“Sorry, can’t help myself,”

You kissed down her stomach to her pelvis, feeling her restlessness grow as her body refused to stay still, itching for you to do more.

You leaned back up, placing either leg over her torso and looked her over, making sure she was okay as your hand moved lower down, seemingly in a mind of its own as it crept past the waistband, meeting her skin as you held eye contact.

Ellie folded, shutting her eyes as the waiting became too much, you tapped her leg with your free hand,

“Eyes on me,”

When she held your eye contact once again, you teased a finger past her folds, almost letting out a groan at how wet she was, at how easily you could feel her arousal.

“Fuck Els,” you sighed, struggling to contain yourself as your thoughts grew more indecent, slipping a finger in further as Ellie writhed underneath you, head hanging back.

“More fingers, please,” Her voice was strained, breathy as she closed her eyes, embarrassed to be feeling this undone already.

“Yeah?” The side of your mouth curled up, goaded by the sound of her voice. She nodded impishly, covering her eyes with her wrist, as her other hand reached to grip around your hip. A tight squeeze followed on your skin.

“I can do that, baby,” Following instructions, you slipped two more fingers into her, falling into a rhythm as you felt her clench around you. She glanced over your body, legs spread over her midsection as you leaned your arm back, hips gently grinding over hers- an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure building up.

Her hand grabbed at the hem of your shirt, pulling it slightly and groaning when the tight material pushed against your breasts, she always loved how you never wore bras, stiff nipples poking through the fabric.

“Fuck, clothes off, now,” she let out in soft grunts, as she broke your wrist from her to take off your shirt, rubbing her hands over your newly exposed skin “Always fucking wanted to see you like this,” She spoke, your fingers meeting her centre again, “So fucking pretty,”

“You feel so good, Ellie,” You gasped, your hips involuntarily grinding on top of her stomach, “So fucking good ‘n wet for me,”

“Fuck-“ Ellie’s voice cut off as she bit into the back of her hand, her own hips rolling your hand in deeper, hitting her walls more than before as she let out a mewl. “Feels so fuckin’ good, angel,” she whimpered, voice strained as she continued to ride into your hand.

It was the hottest noise you’d ever heard, and you wanted to keep drawing it out of her. To keep hearing her moan for you, and your actions only.

Suddenly, you had something you prove, both to her and to yourself. Flashes of Cat in your mind as you wanted her to forget other women existed.

You unwrapped yourself off her lap, removing your fingers, kissing her stomach as you pulled her pants and underwear down, grabbing her legs and holding them open, exposing her even further.

“Damn,” you said, glancing over her wet inner thighs as they glistened, all for you.

“Shut up,” she spoke, voice tight as a side smile swept over her features, as she grabbed the back of your head, pushing you closer to her pulsing core, throbbing and dripping waiting for you to make contact.

You licked a line up her heat, moaning to yourself at the taste of her. You grew light-headed, thinking you could die happily just between Ellie’s legs, becoming addicted to her moans as you ate her out, head in a daze as she squeezed her thighs tight around your head, almost cutting off your air supply- her moans growing more frequent, as she reached closer. Your free hand moving up to wrap itself around her breast, squeezing tighter around her nipple.

Deciding to have a little more fun, you slipped two fingers into her wetness as you continued to lap your tongue around her clit, pushing up into her as you sucked. Dragging her delicious sap on your tongue as it marred all over your face, cheeks glassy with her warm sleek.

Ellie had lost control over her vocal cords at this point, moans slipping out from between her sweet lips no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. Hell, you were moaning too, despite not even being touched yet, dripping all over yourself, ass up and needy as you rolled your hips over thin air as you continued to soak yourself into Ellie.

There could be no coming back from this, you thought, not now that you had been exposed to the delicacy that is Ellie Williams. You were holding on to her and not letting go.

You felt Ellie’s moans get shorter, cutting themselves off from its full power before the next one came, her hips moving more haphazardly up to meet your tongue, she was close.

You glanced at her, her eyes closed, brows pinched up and mouth agape, a slight sheen to her skin from sweat, she’s so attractive, you thought.

With your free hand, your fingers guided themselves onto your own folds, rolling over your own clit for some release, the lack of hand on her caused Ellie’s eyes to lull over at you, the sight of your arched back, wet cheeks from her slick, spread legs as you touched yourself all whilst still fucking her into oblivion.

The damned sight of you, just as undone as Ellie, without her even touching you, was enough to cause the coil in her abdomen to twist, before she came all over your face, breath slowing into heavy pants as her body twitched. You lapped her up her residue, finally removing your face from between her legs as she looked at you. Wordless.

“Wh-what the fuck..” Ellie’s weak voice trailed, before laughing and forcing a kiss on your lips, hands wrapped around your jaw as she tasted the remnants of herself on you.

There was no way you were about to give her the best orgasm of her life and expect her to not do anything back? Funny joke. Ellie was ravenous now.

She placed you underneath her, biting around your thighs before bending her head down, her tongue having been desperate for a taste since that first day she saw you. “I wanna fuck you so bad,” Your legs tightened around her as the air from her voice hit your centre, “Been dyin’ for a taste,” You looked at her, tip of your eyebrows raised up as you took in her words, how long had she wanted you back? Her words caused you to shudder, whimpering as she continued.

“Fuck,” You said, voice breaking as her tongue rippled over your pussy as your hips shook, slurping up the honey that had been left neglected. Long, slender fingers meeting your centre that had felt so, so desperate and needy for her to touch.

“G’na show what you’ve been missing,” She hummed, as her fingers picked up pace working harmoniously with her tongue as she fucked into you. Warm muscle rolling over your pulsing clit. Fingers rubbing over your velvet walls which sucked her further in, skin dragging out with her soaked fingers when they recoiled out, the image obscene. “What was waiting for you this whole time,”

“Els- shit, wanna feel you,”

“What you want, baby?” She gasped out, in between breaths as fingers toyed with your clit.

“Wanna feel you, y-your fucking pussy on mine-fuck,” you cut yourself off, embarrassed. The desire was simply too strong, you were dizzy just from the thought of it. Ellie seemed to share your enthusiasm, her heart skipping a beat, the thought kindling her veins with heat.

This was truly a gift from the heavens, she thought.

“Shit- yeah, okay.” Ellie exhaled out, as she got you into position, grabbing one of your smaller pillows to cushion underneath you as she placed her legs over yours, getting into place as she rubbed her clit over yours, hips lolling over your pelvis.

The sounds were debaucherous as they filled the room, hot and wet, as if the spirit of Dionysus, himself had possessed you. Invoking you with bacchanal, carnal desire as you could think of nothing else than the sublime vice that is Ellie Williams.

“Fuck, Els, I’m gonna come,”

Ellie groaned, rocking her hips over yours, her defined abs on show, breasts working with Earth’s gravity as they sprung up and down to match her movements, hair falling out of her half-bun, causing some strands to stick to her face, completely dishevelled. You looked at her, eyes attached to yours, lust ruling over them, then looked back down to where you were both intertwined. You trapped your bottom lip with your teeth at the sight before you.

Her sap mingling with yours, leaking out from her cunt as it folds over your own, Wrapping you with her warmth, pulsating around yours. Ellie’s body still trembling from before.

“Then come for me, baby,”

You were gone. With her words, you felt yourself spilling out against her, not being able to hold back the climax of your arousal spurting out from you, splashes reaching Ellie’s legs.

“Fuck, Ellie!” Your voice drawled out, as the wave ran through you,

“That’s it, angel, come all over me,” She smirked down at you, breath heavy as she watched your eyes glaze over, lips parted and chest heavy as you finally came down. A ardent glaze over her eyes.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” She gaped, eyes transfixed on your figure as her reeling mind came down from the high.

“Shit, neither did I,” you laughed, covering your mouth, suddenly shy. With your head still in the clouds, you weren’t feeling as overly self-aware.

“That was fucking hot, and I’m not done.”

—

leave a comment, reblog or like if ya enjoyed <3

[fastcardotmp3]

stranger things au where when it's all done, instead of the general fandom usual of NDA's and cover stories, those guys at the NINA Project figure out a way to use that same technology that brought El's memories back to instead wipe the memories of anyone involved in saving the world/ anyone who saw anything abnormal and replace them with the mundane.

It's the only foolproof way to make sure that none of That gets out, to make sure that no one decides to go poking around again 10 years down the line or write a book or a song or a movie that hits a little too closely to the truth, and the government loves themselves something that seems like a foolproof plan.

But what does this mean for our heroes? They don't remember the circumstances that brought them together, only the cover memories that were inserted in their place. They don't remember why they care so deeply for one another because a summer scooping ice cream or a walk through the woods or an-- impromptu game of baseball???-- doesn't quite line up with how it feels.

It feels bigger than that. It feels--

There are explanations for Steve's scars, he remembers a big dog and a trip to the ER, he remembers getting in a car accident and the seat belt coming loose enough to get stuck across his throat instead of his chest. He remembers-- blood on his hands, blood on his clothes, the outline of a man torn half to shreds--

He remembers a bad trip with Robin, but sometimes Robin will say something and it's-- when we got drugged- took those- when we uh, y'know tried LSD that time?-- fuzzy because of the bad trip of it all.

It's easy to accept the truth as the truth, because he remembers. It's easy, for years, to let the truth be the truth, to forget entirely that there are pieces that don't make sense, that there's no reason he should be as close with Dustin Henderson as he is because wait how did we meet? over a missing cat? It's easy, to just let it be true, because the love is there and that's what matters.

The love is there for a year and two and five and ten and Steve's life isn't always easy, in fact he's gone through his fair share of therapists for the insomnia none of them can explain, the confusion that both him and Robin talk about sometimes in the dead of night but can't remember talking about in the morning.

Eddie gets medicated for some sort of psychosis for a while because he had years of these intense night terrors that he could never explain to people, screaming at the top of his lungs, but the minute he would try to tell a shaking and terrified Steve or Robin or Nancy or whoever was present what it had been about he would just sob with frustration because he couldn't remember.

Max has a condition which made her lose her eyesight rapidly as a teenager, who has chronic pain that no doctors have ever found a real cause for despite Steve dragging her to appointment after appointment with fierce protectiveness in his eyes and voice, a desperation that there has to be a reason.

It's easy to accept it as the truth, that they all gravitated towards each other because they're all just a little fucked up in unrelated ways. That they connected to one another because oh you get scared sometimes too? scared like I do? scared like no one else understands?

Lucas starts spontaneously sobbing when some Kate Bush song plays on the radio in 1992. Can't explain it except that it hurts.

Nancy goes to a shooting range and feels her hands go steady for the first time in years in '93. She's never shot a gun before.

El Hopper had a traumatic enough childhood that doctors say she likely won't ever remember all of it, that her brain is protecting her, that-- that's probably true. They're doctors. They know better than Steve, they know about everything except why Max's legs hurt so bad she can't move sometimes.

They know everything except why Eddie can't feel pinned down without having a visceral belief he's dying.

They know everything except why Jonathan swears that their old house used to be painted a different color in the living room.

There are explanations for Steve's scars. He remembers a big dog.

Sharp teeth. Snarling.

He's in his thirties when he kisses Eddie Munson for the first time, because they're fucked in the head in the same ways, because no one else has ever gotten close enough to see the scars and hear the screaming and feel the desperation and not suggested maybe you need bigger help than I can give.

He's a grown man, and it's easy to believe the truth of his past, easy to think that growing older means it's supposed to be a little fuzzy around the edges, and that's okay because this feels bright and clear and technicolor, this thing with Eddie who has run away and come back half a dozen times but always does come back.

Whether he goes to Seattle or LA, New York or Boston; whether he and Steve are in the same place at the same time for more than a couple of weeks, he always comes back, they always find their way back to each other no matter where in the world, except--

Except there.

Everyone left that town with a haste-- or was it one at a time? No, it was the Byers first to California, except-- didn't Will graduate from that school? No. Because El went to school in Chicago at the same time that Robin started college there and she helped Will apply to the Arts Institute and--

And it was Max who went to California-- no, she was from there, but she also-- did she go back?

And why does Steve remember the house he grew up in but the minute he tries to step outside the back door onto the patio in his mind, out by the-- with the blue light and--

"Have you ever been back?" he asks Eddie one day, 32 years old and living in Chicago now full-time together. Robin's just down the road, Nancy's at the Tribune, Argyle has been franchising that coffee shop of his, is opening a spot here in town near his friends who he met when--

"Back where?" Eddie trails his hands through Steve's hair, laying half on top of each other on the couch and listening to some old tape of Jonathan's.

"Where we're from."

Eddie's fingers slow to an almost still and Steve props himself up to watch the way his brow furrows in concentration.

"Why would we go back?" he asks, and Steve has this flash-- like they've had this conversation before.

Like they've talked about where we're from before, although the name of the place never crosses their lips.

"I dunno," Steve slumps into Eddie's chest. They're getting older though so maybe just, "nostalgia?"

"Are you feeling nostalgic?" A rediscovered rhythm to gentle nails across his scalp. Soothing.

"It's where we met," Steve says. It feels true, although when he thinks about it-- "remember? How we met?"

"I..." Eddie's jaw clicks. It does that sometimes, on the same side with the scar.

There are explanations for Eddie's scars too-- a drug deal gone wrong, too many guys with too may knives-- or was it broken beer bottles? They used those as weapons, yeah. Tattered clothes and tattered skin and blood on Steve's hands--

No. He wasn't there. Blood on-- it was Dustin who found him? No. Wait, it was Wayne. Wayne found him, yeah, exactly--

"We met there," Eddie's gripping Steve's hair now, by the root. "We met back there. High school. Do you want to go back?

"Why would we go--"

Steve startles himself with the words, like they just-- like they weren't a choice to say, like they said themselves, like--

"Ed."

Breathing is tight. Steve sits up straight and looks at him. Scars on his face. Eyes so big and deep they hold endless histories--

"Eddie, do you want to go visit-- visit, uh, you know?"

"Why would we--" Eddie claps a hand over his mouth and hums out a sound of frightened discontent. "What. What the fuck."

"How did we meet, again?" Steve swallows. Eddie stands up, paces to the other side of the apartment.

"High school."

"How in high school?"

"Steve, I stopped taking those meds because they didn't help, but this isn't helping me not feel fucking certifiable either--"

"Eddie, I don't remember."

"Okay, so we're getting old!"

"We're not even middle aged!"

Eddie stops where he stands, shakes his head, and Steve watches him because it's easy to watch him, easy to look at the life they've lived and accept that they found each other, fell in love, because no one else gets what it's like to be fucked in the head. To know what's true and still feel wrong in that truth.

To believe it and still get lost in it.

Eddie clenches down on the tremble of his jaw and his eyes go big and imploring.

"What's happening, Stevie?"

There are explanations for all of it, but no one has ever been able to explain Max's pain or Nancy's sharp-shooting or Robin and Steve's inability to get drunk without losing it or the color of the paint in the Byers' old living room in that fucking town that Steve can't even think the name of--

"I'm calling Robin," he says, already striding across the floor. "I want to go back."

There are explanations.

Maybe that's not good enough anymore.

[dyns33]

Rook College

I did a silly College Vaas x female reader, because why not ?

Y/N could not explain how this happened.

You couldn't explain love after all. The heart had its reasons, all that.

While studying alone in the Rook University library, Vaas had come to sit next to her without warning. He had asked her what she was reading, before clearly explaining what he wanted.

If he didn't get a good mark on his next exam, he risked expulsion. And even though he didn't care one bit about studying, he really wanted his diploma, so he needed someone smart to help him.

Y/N looked smart. Smart enough to teach him, to not say no, and to know that she shouldn't tell anyone she had helped him.

This had happened six months ago.

They had been secretly dating for five months.

Really, Y/N couldn't explain how this happened.

She and Vaas were very different.

It was unclear what Vaas Montenegro, the tiger, was supposed to study. He took several courses, languages, sports, geography, cinema, philosophy, while attending almost none of them, preferring to spend his time in the dark corners of the campus.

Rumors were that he smoked, drank, did drugs, and sold whatever you needed to get others to do it too. People said he was violent, dangerous, crazy. He would have already had a lot of problems with the administration, he would have threatened a professor, and he would have fought with a lot of students. The girls were afraid of him, because some said he had done things.

Most of the rumors were true.

     "I'm not going to lie to you, nena." Vaas said very honestly when he had just kissed her for the first time and she hadn't pushed him away. "I'm not a nice person. Well, not with everyone. With you, I'll be a true fucking gentleman. I'll never hurt you, mi corazon. You deserve the best, so I'll give you the best version of myself, no matter how imperfect it is."

The rumors about the girls were the only ones that were untrue, really. The only girl who must have been afraid of Vaas was his half-sister, Citra, whom he hated more than anything, and she was absolutely not afraid of him.

After the death of their parents, they had had a lot of problems, which he didn't like to talk about. He talked about it all the same to Y/N, while she hugged him, hidden in the darkness of his small student room.

Normally Vaas should have had a roommate, Carlos, but he had fired him. Carlos had fired another student, to move in with his friend Benny. It was convenient.

No one knew that Vaas and Y/N were together. No one. Outside his room, they saw each other secretly in the library, in empty hallways, or off campus.

They had never really discussed why they were hiding. Of course, Y/N was a bit afraid of what people were going to say. She was a bit afraid that their criticisms and judgments would spoil everything between them. It was also exciting to have a secret.

At the same time, she really wanted to tell everyone, because she really loved Vaas, she wanted people to know that he was hers, and that he wasn't as horrible as most people thought. She didn't care if the others didn't accept the situation.

He wasn't perfect, he said so himself, but he could be adorable. In any case, he was adorable with her, as he had promised.

     "You're smiling like an idiot again, nena."

     "I'm not allowed to smile ?"

     "Of fucking course, I love your smile. My ray of sunshine. But when you look at me like that, I just feel weird, like I'm the happiest man alive, and I don't like feeling weird."

     "I am very happy to be with you."

     "There you go, you're also saying silly things, mi amor. You can't be happy with me, I'm a moron."

Vaas had very little self-confidence. That was why he compensated a lot with insults and violence, to hide his deep hurt, instead of just being honest with others.

He had a hard time letting people in. Y/N was an exception.

That was probably why he didn't want people to know about them. At least, that was what she thought, until she overheard a conversation he was having with some of his "friends", or colleagues as he preferred to call them.

Buck, Hoyt, Pagan, and John. It was true that he didn't often talk about them using compliments, but they spent a lot of time together. There was also his little gang, with Carlos, Ben and Miguel, even though they all called him "Jefe".

     "The spring ball is coming."

     "Fuck, the what ?" Vaas asked, finishing his cigarette. "What is this new bullshit again ?"

     "The spring ball, Jefe. An idea from the director, to celebrate the end of the May exams, and please everyone."

     "He thinks we're still in high school ? Stupid old bastard. No time for that bullshit."

     "But good plan to sell gear." noted Hoyt.

     "And fuck." Buck added.

     "If too many jerks are high at the party, we might get in trouble. The director is already suspicious. Bad plan."

     "What about fucking, Jefe ?"

     "You want to fuck, Carlos ? Don't you already have little Ben for that ? Since you share a bed. You do what you want with your cock, hermano, not my fucking problem."

     "It would do you good to have someone. Yuma could say yes, for one night. I saw two nice girls, Lisa and Daisy. There are several nice girls on campus."

     "Shut up, Min."

     "I saw you once with a little mouse. Y/N, I think ? Not my type, but if you like..."

     "Shut up, Min." repeated Vaas, lighting a new cigarette, without adding anything and quickly changing the subject.

Y/N might have been happy that he didn't agree with what Pagan had said. About how she clearly wasn't interesting or beautiful enough to be with Vaas. But he hadn't said otherwise either.

And then she wondered if he wasn't hiding her just because he was ashamed. Because his reputation would be bad with dating a girl like Y/N.

She thought about it for hours, days, feeling terribly hurt. He had promised never to hurt her.

     "Nena, are you listening to me ?" Vaas asked, waving his hand in front of her face, visibly worried. "You haven't touched your ice cream and you haven't said anything for ten minutes. I started talking about flying dolphins, hermosa. Talking flying dolphins, and you didn't say anything at all."

     "Oh, sorry."

     "Are you… are you okay ?"

     "Vaas. I think it's better if we stop seeing each other."

This conclusion had become clear to her the day before, when she was crying in her bed. Even though she loved him, and she was pretty sure he loved her too, their story was going nowhere, and it was ridiculous to continue.

Vaas stared at her for a long time. For a moment she wondered if he was going to scream, or cry, or bang his glass against the table in the little bar where they were, but he didn't move, completely frozen, as if the world had just come crashing down around him.

     "... I did something ?" he finally asked in a low voice.

     "No, it's not you. You've been wonderful to me, really, but... I don't think it's working. I'm not saying you're ashamed of me, but I know you don't want people to know about us, and I get it. It's better that way."

     "Y/N..."

     "Please." she said standing up. "It's really better that way. You'll find better, like Lisa or Daisy. Goodbye, Vaas."

She left very quickly, boarding the first bus to escape him, as he ran after her, shouting her name. Y/N fled to Amita's house, where she ignored Vaas' calls and messages, telling herself again and again that it was the right decision.

She repeated it to herself when she returned to her dorm room and her roommate jumped on her asking who had filled all the space with flowers.

She repeated it to herself again when she passed in front of her name written in huge letters on the main wall of the campus, surrounded by small hearts.

     "I heard you had a secret admirer." Jason sneered without malice, as he and the rest of his band came to sit at her table during lunch break.

     "I don't want to talk about it."

     "Do you know who it is ? I bet for Ajay."

     "Ajay ? Ajay Ghale ?"

     "Yes. You two are friendly, aren't you ?"

Yes, Ajay and her were friends. Nothing more. They often studied together, and more than once she had to reassure Vaas about him, without revealing that Ajay couldn't love her like that, since he preferred the other team.

     "I heard rumors that he was going to invite you to the ball."

     "Don't listen to rumours."

     "Maybe but..."

Keith couldn't finish his sentence. A huge, repetitive metallic noise was heard throughout the canteen, and when she turned to see what it was, Y/N discovered Vaas, standing on a table in the middle of the room, banging on a saucepan with a pan.

He only stopped when everyone looked at him.

     "SHUT UP, MOTHERFUCKERS, SHUT UP, I'M TALKING !" he shouted, before pointing his pan in a specific direction. "Y/N ! DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE SPRING BALL WITH ME ?!"

Too surprised by the situation, Y/N didn't have time to be embarrassed by feeling all eyes turn towards her. Vaas was staring at her too, with an intense gaze, full of hope and passion, and since she wasn't sure she could speak, she nodded.

This seemed to satisfy him, as he flashed a huge grin, before grimacing as he looked at the others.

     "WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ?! EAT YOUR LUNCH, CABRONS!"

He then jumped off the table and left the canteen as if nothing had happened. Of course, he was the only one to act as if everything was normal. Everyone asked Y/N hundreds of questions.

Why had Vaas done this ? Did he send the flowers and draw the hearts ? Was he serious or was he having fun ? Did he hurt her ? Why had she agreed to go to the ball with him ?

It was then obvious to Y/N that if Vaas had been afraid that people would judge, criticize, make comments, and that one of them would end up being ashamed, it was not by thinking of him and his "friends". If one of them should be ashamed of their couple according to him, it was her.

     "No, really, why ?" asked Daisy, who had followed her into the girls' bathroom, repeating that she was worried, like everyone else. "You can tell him no. We can go see a teacher."

     "I'm fine. He's not… Look, he's not as terrible as people think."

     "How can you know that ?"

All these questions were starting to give her a headache. Y/N wanted to take refuge in her bed, hide under her covers, far from everything. She was about to answer, when an arm landed around her shoulders, and a head stuck to hers.

     "She knows because we've been dating for five months, hermana. Now you're leaving her alone with your fucking questions, it's  really annoying."

Vaas didn't care about the "girls' toilet" sign. He didn't care about almost any rules, which he saw as challenges.

Seeing Daisy open her mouth to retaliate, he raised a finger and calmly told her to shut up, while continuing to hold Y/N with his protective arm. She couldn't help but look at him with a smile, which caught his attention.

     "Nena, you're smiling like an idiot again."

     "Sorry." she whispered, still smiling.

     "It's okay, mi amor." he said kissing her. "Tell me if that bitch pisses you off again."

This slightly romantic scene did not reassure Daisy at all, and the following Saturday, during a small party that had been planned for a long time, the others took over to check that Vaas had not threatened Y/N to go out with him.

     "I repeat, he is nice. Sometimes."

     "Only 'sometimes' ?" Oliver muttered.

     "No, I mean… With me all the time, but if I tell everyone how nice he can be, he's going to get mad."

     "He's going to get mad at you ?!" Riley shuddered.

     "No ! Against the others. He is going to go see them to break their teeth in order to prove that he is not gentle. Then he will ask me why I did this with his little pout, before going to sulk in a corner until he decides he wants hugs."

     "Hugs..." Grant repeated. "Y/N, simple hugs are fine. But maybe he just wants more and that's not serious."

     "If he just wanted more, he would have left me months ago."

     "Because you are not easy."

     "Because he already had more." she answered honestly.

     "What ?!" Liza asked indignantly. "No, don't tell me you two..."

Her phone saved her, 'La Vida Loca' already telling her who was calling her, and everyone really stopped talking when they saw the name on her screen.

     "Yes Vaas ?"

     "Mi corazon. I miss you. You want to come to my place ? I have a great movie, and mangoes."

     "Why mangoes ?"

     "Why not ? Are you coming ?"

     "I can't, I'm at a party with friends."

     "The idiots ? They're not bothering you with questions again, are they ? I can tell they're bothering you, I can tell you're not well. I can come and yell at them for you if you want."

    "I'm doing fine, thanks."

    "Okay. As you wish, nena. I'll eat my mangoes by myself. And tomorrow I'll take you to the restaurant. I'll dress nicely, like a penguin, and I'll speak like an English nobleman."

     "You're ridiculous." she laughed, imagining the scene.

     "Just for you."

This time, seeing her smile like a fool on the phone, everyone seemed to understand as though they were different, though he wasn't perfect, though it might seem strange, Y/N and Vaas really loved each other. They were happy together, and everything was going perfectly well.

It couldn't be explained, it was just like that.

So when she hung up, they didn't ask her any more questions, and although Vaas remained convinced for a long time that it was because they were afraid of him, it was mainly because Rook College saw for the first time that the tiger wasn't as wild as he wanted to make it out to be, purring like a kitten whenever he was with Y/N.

He still broke the teeth and fingers of those who dared to make the remark to prove the contrary.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Full Episode Commentary

1x2: The Night of the Comet

I believe Katherine IS the comet. The soundtrack lyrics at the open are hilarious to me. "I tremble. They're gonna eat me alive." Damon kills another couple, and both are premeditated. This time, he's more or less playing with his food based on what they say to each other, making it "rain" blood. This is Katherine's impact on Damon. More journal voiceovers from Stefan and Elena. "For once, I don't regret the day before it begins." If only Elena knew that Stefan would burn to ash in the daylight without his ring on. "For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. Because I know I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good." Here, Elena speaks of being too dependent. As if she needs Stefan just to get out of bed. To feel good. Beyond disgusting and very unhealthy.

Jenna needing to ask Elena questions about Jeremy shows her failure as their guardian. He's visiting Vicki at the hospital. Stefan and Elena can't even get through class without ogling each other. A beautiful parallel there. For Stelena, it's high school with Mr. Tanner. For Delena, it's college with professor Shane. They interrupt class. Stefan brought Elena a copy of Wuthering Heights. He lies to her about where he got it. Caroline tells Bonnie to conjure up Damon's name and phone number, she's that stuck on him. Stefan intrudes on Elena's conversation with Matt. Now the second time he eavesdrops. Matt is talking to her about Vicki, and to be clear… Damon was the first to tell Elena their truth, he simply told her through Vicki. It takes Elena three more episodes to find out it's actually true.

Sigh… Jenna showing more and more that she's a parental guardian failure. Using the death of Jeremy's parents to excuse his skipping classes. Mr. Tanner shouldn't have to tell Jenna that Jeremy is on drugs when they live in the same house, but clearly it's news to her. She then gives him attitude while he's being real with her. Stefan is at the hospital, compelling Vicki. Matt catches sight of him and follows. That's when Stefan runs right into the phlebotomy area and vamps out. It's clear that he's insanely hungry for human blood because he's been on animal blood. Something Damon commented about in the pilot episode. Caroline straight-up insults Bonnie's grandmother, and appears to be more interested in hearing about Elena's time with Stefan. "Just jump his bones already! Ok, it's easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex!" So this is the same girl that refers to Damon as a man slut in 4x8. She's actually questioning why Elena didn't sleep with Stefan the day after meeting him. Wow. Elena agrees with Caroline, which I find hilarious because it's the reason she meets Damon.

Matt questions Vicki about her attack. It's clear that Stefan didn't compel her well because she actually has to think about what attacked her. The answer should come easily. Jeremy stops in and takes the hint to give them time alone. Matt has similar body language for Delena in 4x7. Vicki makes it sound like she's much older than Jeremy when he's 15. She's having a relationship with him in secret, which I feel isn't fair to him. He's young, so he's a lot more tolerant to that crap than Elena. Still, his love for her is real and adorably sweet.

This was the moment I fell in love with Damon. Just this right here. The way he looks at her with fun in his eyes. I love him all the more for bringing the crow in. He's straight-up confessing that he was at the cemetery, and he's the one Bonnie saw when she did her beer bottle reading. Damon doesn't require words to actually speak. He simply needs Elena to accept what she's seeing. Such is the case with him closing the door behind her when she left it open. Damon is telling her he's a vampire without telling her he's a vampire, she's just not ready to accept it. Clearly he wants her to know. Just as clear that Elena hears but doesn't listen. "Stefan didn't tell me he had a brother." Actually, he did. If Stefan didn't have a sibling, he'd admit he doesn't have a sibling. When Elena asked if he had siblings, his response was enough. "None that I talk to." A basic admission that he has siblings, but they're estranged. "Well, Stefan's not one to brag." Exactly what Stefan does in his final goodbye to Elena. There's a duality in Damon where Elena is concerned, and I find it altogether beautiful. I think it's only natural for both brothers to be curious about her. However, being curious doesn't require being in her life. The difference between Damon and Stefan is that Damon doesn't "have to" know her, he "gets to" know her. If not for Stefan, he'd simply care for Elena from a distance.

Damon has a certain style about him as he speaks of their family room. "It's a little kitschy for my taste." He would require an emotional connection to their art to actually like it. From this point forward, it's important to pay mind to what he says because he uses alternate meanings. Not just in this episode either. "I see why my brother's so smitten." The sense of sight because she's a doppelganger. "It's about time. For a while there, I never thought he'd get over the last one." Sense of time as they're over 145 years old. "Nearly destroyed him." And a sense of being because Stefan literally died and became a vampire. This is how quick Damon conjures up alternate meanings. He's also able to pull off beautiful speeches on the spot.

"Yeah. Katherine, his girlfriend? Oh, you two haven't had the awkward exes conversation yet. Oops. Well, I'm sure it'll come up now. Or maybe he didn't want to tell you because he didn't want you to think he was on the rebound. We all know how those relationships end."

Damon drops Katherine's name for the sake of Elena asking Stefan about her because it'll be hard for him to talk about Katherine without revealing his age. Damon then pushes the idea that Stefan is on the rebound for the sake of Elena pushing the issue all the more. The best way to get Elena questioning Stefan about Katherine is by making her question if she is in fact a rebound. He then admits to being a fatalist. This is extremely important for season 5, as it's his belief that things are fated to happen. Elena's comment jumps off his comment to Stefan in the pilot. "Well, let's hope not. We both know how that ended." Damon believes Katherine has been desiccating in the tomb for 145 years, so it ended.

Stefan interrupts their conversation. Bothersome to me because I already have a problem with the way he regards Elena. In this scene, it's his body language. He's coming off extremely possessive. Like a dog guarding its bone, only Elena is the bone. It's even in his eyes. He's having a non-verbal conversation with Damon, and in this conversation, basically tells Damon that Elena belongs to him. When Stefan makes Elena feel so unwelcomed that she admits she should've called first, yeah. He's literally giving her the feeling that she doesn't belong there. Damon's response is hilarious. "Oh, don't be silly. You're welcome any time. Isn't she, Stefan? You know, I should break out the family photo albums or some home movies. But… I have to warn you. He wasn't always such a looker." He's already offering her photo albums and home movies, both of which would reveal their truth. Stefan still hasn't taken his eyes off Damon, as if Damon did something wrong. A two second look at Elena, and his eyes are back on Damon. It's insane how possessive he is, and I love the way Damon responds to it. Even when Elena goes to leave, he's like a brick wall. She actually has to repeat Stefan's name to get him to step aside so she can leave. The way he holds his hands behind his back, he's exhibiting power and dominance.

Damon knows Stefan quite well, so he knows he was at the hospital to compel Vicki. He questions if it worked because apparently it doesn't work well for vampires that don't drink human blood. Stefan asks Damon a question that speaks to his jealous nature. "How long was Elena here?" He basically wants to know how long Damon and Elena were alone with each other. Damon responds to Stefan's jealousy. "Are you worried, Stefan? Scared we may be doomed to repeat the past?" Elena is hilarious to me because she's quick to believe Stefan is on the rebound as Damon told her he was. "Raging family issues" is how she chooses to describe Stefan's possessive nature. Jeremy is hilarious in the way he talks to Jenna after she throws an apple at him, and she has no idea what to make of his response. Given what happens to Vicki, Damon had every reason to question if Stefan's compulsion worked on her. The only way I can describe her issue is by referring to Damon's mind in 8x10. He placed himself in hell fire in his conscious mind and in the cemetery in his subconscious mind. For a vampire on human blood, compulsion should reach the subconscious mind. It should reach the cemetery. For Stefan, it's only reaching the conscious mind, the hell fire. That's why Vicki is having nightmares about Damon. Her subconscious is breaking through and literally haunting her. Caroline catches sight of Damon and he disappears right before her eyes lol. At this point, he's acting like a tease. It's my belief that he's teasing her to the point she aches for him. He does this extremely well with Elena.

Zach is questioning why Damon is there. "Why did he come home?" If it is Damon's home, there should be no reason to question why he is home, and I feel the question quite insulting for either brother. Stefan assumes it's because of him. Uhm, no. Damon is home because he plans to rescue Katherine from the tomb. He's planning to make Stefan miserable because Stefan forced himself into Elena's life whilst pretending to be human. "Is she worth it? Uncle Stefan, this girl you came back for?" Insane that Zach feels this way about Stefan. I feel Elena is worth Stefan stepping out of her life, but he won't respect her enough. They're in town where most of their events take place, lighting candles and waiting for the comet to pass over. I consider the candle lighting representations just like the opening of the pilot. Stefan and Elena discuss the comet, his description is quite beautiful. Elena lol… "You seem to spend a lot of time apologizing." That's because Stefan is a big, fat liar. His question is perfect by design, and its intent is to further lie to her. "What did he say?" He wants to know what Damon told her about Katherine because he doesn't want to share unnecessary information. Sharing unnecessary information could reveal their truth. I consider this a manipulation. She talks about how Damon spoke of Katherine breaking his heart. Stefan tells her that was a long time ago. Uhm… he's stuck in his 17 year old body and pretending to be human. It's gonna be hard to claim it was a very long time ago while also being at an age when he would've dated her. Stefan stands in front of her to get her attention. Obvious that his intimate distance doesn't do to Elena what Damon's does, and I don't think it's meant to. She blows out her candle and leaves him at the event.

Damon's at the Grill, having a drink when Vicki walks in. He considers it unfortunate that she knows him, but he's speaking specifically to Stefan's inability to compel her correctly. That's why he takes her to the roof. He wants Stefan to feed because he's not even strong enough to compel. Like the pilot episode, Matt has another split-second moment that I swear he suspects Stefan of being a vampire. It's when Stefan hears Damon and Vicki on the roof, and he tilts his head to it. I also find it very hard for Stefan to explain why he's at the hospital visiting Vicki when he's a stranger to them. Damon cracks me up every time he pokes fun at Stefan's animal diet. He questions Vicki in front of Stefan for the sake of showing him that he's not compelling correctly. That's why he presses about what attacked her. A correctly compelled person wouldn't remember a vampire. Damon is genuinely upset that Stefan is as weak as he is. Understand that he has no idea Stefan is a blood junkie. He only knows that Stefan is a ripper. One doesn't necessarily have to do with the other. "No! I want you to remember who you are!" Stefan believes this is about Damon wanting to be brothers again. Uhm... this asshole truly can't think of any other reason why Damon is acting this way. Stefan forced himself into Elena's life and is playing human with her. He literally just got done writing in his journal about how he's unable to resist her, still poses a threat to her as he chooses to remain in her life, and he wonders why Damon wants him to remember who he is? He's the Ripper of Monterey!! Stefan actually tells him that he'd rather die and be rid of him than live and have him in his life. And fans wonder why I consider Stefan a shit brother. Through his response, Damon is basically telling Stefan that he's being dramatic. Damon doesn't want his brother dead, he wants him strong. It's insane to me that Stefan is choosing to build a life in Mystic Falls while remaining weak on the animal diet. Stefan won't be able to hide every little thing for long, so he will need his strength at some point. "Give Elena my best." Damon's comment has an alternate meaning, and it's actually quite literal. Stefan is giving Damon's best to Elena and Damon is giving Stefan's best to Caroline. Stefan is ripping into Elena in 3x5 and Damon is kissing her in 3x10.

Caroline makes it clear that she likes being the center of attention. God forbid Vicki actually be center of attention for the night. "Ugh, it's just so much drama. Ever notice how the druggies are the biggest attention whores?" This is Caroline describing herself.

When Bonnie hands Elena's phone number to Stefan, she has the same reaction as she did for her beer bottle reading. She can sense that he's a vampire. Even though Jenna is having a problem acting as their parental guardian, I feel that's mostly due to her age. It's sad that Jeremy is stuck in this love triangle with Tyler and Vicki, but he offers an interesting point of view when Elena gets stuck in her own love triangle. At the end of the episode, Stefan treats Elena how he should've treated her when she was talking to Damon. He had no reason whatsoever to react the way he did. His reaction only furthers the fact that he's a possessive and jealous person. This here is insane to me.

"I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment that the world's just going to come crashing down, and I don't know if I can survive that." Elena's comment is enough reason for Stefan not to be in her life, but he's not about caring what's best for her, he's about himself. "Well, this is reality. Right here." Stefan hands Elena another lie. Without his daylight ring, he'd burn to ash when the sun came up. This is only half their reality, so it's a lie by omission. They cut to Damon, who's giving Caroline the other half of their truth. So Stefan is giving Elena Damon's best and Damon is giving Caroline Stefan's best. The very reason Damon needed to enter Elena's life once Stefan did. He's there to unravel the lies Stefan tells her.

[t3kandson]

Gaze Trapping

Wordcount; 4,843

Fandom; The Boyz

Pairing; Reader X Kim Younghoon (011 during the series)

Characters; O11 members

Warning; heavily drinking, drugs, mentions of the word Rape (there isn’t any scenes of rape in this series just the mention of the word), Fingering, & virginity taking.

Notes; this is 3/12 chapter of Learning Love earlier chapters found here.

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

“So let me get this right your training her?” Younghoon quizzes after Changmin finished explaining. “I am here you know,” you scoff as your face goes bright red as the four of you sit around the kitchen table. “Hi there,” Younghoon adds waving before looking to Changmin for his answer. “Yes basically,” Chanhee adds drinking his glass of water. “How?” he asked blushing. “Ok, ok that’s enough quizzing I’m sure your ready for bed, because I sure am,” you scoff standing up making Younghoon jump. “Sorry I meant why?” He explains, “my minds all jumbled it’s not thinking,” he stutters, his dark brown eyes freezing you mentally. “She’s a virgin, and a stuck up one at that,” Chanhee shoots out as your attention is snapped back to glare at your house mate. “Thanks mate thanks a bunch, let’s tell a stranger my secrets. Is there any more you would like to spill?” You growl at him. “Sorry your right,” Younghoon says standing Up hands in the air in defeat. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude or be inquisitive,” He said holding his hands to you.

The feeling of his warmth as your skin touches is filled with comfort as you smile at him. “Apology accepted,” you say before Chanhee stifle’s a chuckle that has you realise he’s witnessing you melting over his friend. “Right it’s getting late so I should leave right?” He says smiling at you all. “Well unless Y/N wants another lesson,” Changmin sniggers. “Not you too, please stop,” you plead watching Changmin’s smirk soften in guilt. “Well sweet dreams Y/N,” Younghoon says as he brushed a kiss along your hand as he leaves.

You transfixed on your hand as Chanhee startles you laughing. “So Y/N that one’s Kim Younghoon, now do you want to know my friends?” He scoffs teasingly. “Have we met?” You asked hoping that the answer is no. “Do you mean have you been cold to him before?” Chanhee asked as you scrunch your face in annoyance. “You met at my birthday but not since then, you was always in your room or out when he visited,” Chanhee added as you felt relief.

“Right any more questions about our friend or can I go to sleep?” Chanhee asked standing up leaving Changmin the only one at the table. “You coming to bed with me or her?” Chanhee bit out in his friends direction. “Which one’s offering me sex?” Changmin said playfully earning your arms folded as you raised an eyebrow. “Well that answers it,” he chuckled shaking his head to follow Chanhee into his bedroom, leaving your mind full of Younghoon questions.

“Where we going?” You said trying to catch up with Chanhee in the high heels he threw at you. “Youngjae’s, it’s his birthday,” He shot out behind you as you caught up to him panting. “And that one is?” You questioned only knowing Sunwoo and Hyunjae who visited regularly. Though you also remembered meeting Kevin and Jacob as well as that mysterious sexy voice man. But also obviously Younghoon, infact he was the very reason you had accepted Chanhee’s plus one invite.

“The annoying yet cute one,” he said smirking. “They’ve all been annoying but minus Younghoon none of them have been cute,” you scoff. “Wait your coming for Younghoon? well sucks to be you he isn’t even going to be there,” he teased as you stood still earning him to chuckle as he waited for your mind to take his words. “What I’m coming and he’s not even there,” you sulk as he smiles in your direction. “Oh my god you really got the hots for him,” Chanhee grins excitedly. “I don’t I just said he was cute,” you pout recatching him up while he laughed into the streets. Your heart slightly feeling sadness at the prospect of getting to know the guys when Younghoon wasn’t even there.

“Oh it’s you,” Sunwoo growled as he opened the door to you both. “Love you too,” Chanhee said rolling his younger under his armpits to knuckle his crown playfully. Sunwoo brushed his hair back with his fingers, a teeth filled grin hard on his face, which fell the second he noticed you looking at him. You was sure it was because he didn’t like it because you had pushed him away. He scowled before turning into the crowd with Chanhee by his side having ditched you at the door.

“Hello Y/N,” you heard a gentle voice, the guy you knew from his aura was the elder of the group. “Oh hi,” you said smiling as he smiled sweetly in your view clearly happy you wasn’t being cold. “He finally dragged you then I see,” he said smiling warmly. “Yes finally, sorry I’ve been,” “you’ve been hardwork, but worth cracking hey,” Hyunjae teasingly cut in making his way to join you both. “Hi Hyunjae,” you said with a roll of your eyes that he was use to but with a warming smile to let him know you wasn’t being cold. “Ignore him, he’s just jealous your not falling to his charms like most people,” his hyung teased, earning you to chuckle which made his smile widen. “Sangyeon’s just jealous of this,” Hyunjae said patting his ass as he slunk back off to the crowd.

“Looks like you’ve got use to him already,” Sangyeon said intrigued. “Hard not to when he’s lounging on your sofa when you’ve finished work most days,” you teased. “Oh normally it’s Sunwoo that’s the lazy one,” Sangyeon said sipping his drink. “Yes he’s often the one Hyunjae’s pulling out of the apartment from the Game console,” you said noticing the dark haired class clown in front drinking shots heavily. “Oh where’s my manners you must want a drink,” he said looking around till he waved at the person not far away.

“What’s up hyung,” the tall man said approaching, “Chanhee’s lady would like a drink can you,” “I’m on it,” he said smiling cutting him off. “Thanks Juyeon,” he said patting his shoulder as he dashed away with his task. “I’m not Chanhee’s girl,” you said frowning, though to be fair you was his plus one and your relationship was definitely more then friends. “No offence meant I was just merely pointing out your his, like as his friend,” Sangyeon added looking a little worried he had offended you. “No offence taken,” you replied smiling at him as Juyeon returned with a beer in hand. “So your,”, “not Chanhee’s girl,” you added smiling at the blushed red face upon Juyeon’s features. “Duly noted,” he said swigging his own beer. “However, now I need to note how is your dancing ability?” he asked tilting his head, heavily smiling. “Erm not great,” you grimaced, “well one day hit me up, I’ll show you a thing or two,” Juyeon said devilishly. “Stop flirting and come join us hyungs,” you heard the voice from the guy you originally made the mental note to avoid.

“How’s your drinking skills?” Juyeon pressed ignoring his friend who was now wrapping his arms around like some annoying lost child. “She should come try it out and show us,” he said sniggering. Your eyes finally took the whole of him in, his eyes brightly watching you heavily. “Youngjae she doesn’t want to get drunk,” Sangyeon scolded.

So that was Youngjae, the annoying yet cute birthday boy, but the very guy who’s voice made you crazy. “Why? is she scared?” Youngjae teased, “who you calling scared?” You scowl in his direction making his eyes widen. “Oh don’t set her off, she was beginning to warm up to us then,” Hyunjae moans behind him. “It’s ok I’ll warm her up when I drink her under the table,” you say confidently. “Ohh fighting talk,” the other younger lad with him chuckled.

“She’s not a fighter hak, she’s a loser, Sunwoo peeked up. “Fine let me make you cry back home to your mum then,” you said storming to the stash of alcohol as Chanhee brushed his hand on top of yours over the bottle. “Y/N don’t,” he said with concern before you looked at his hand over lapping yours. “You wanted me to get to know your Boyz, I’m doing this,” you said breaking his hand away as you held on to the soju bottles.

Haknyeon’s scurried for the shot glasses as Youngjae stood there, his tongue sliding along his lips. “Stop looking pretty and help your hyungs,” you snapped watching amusement roll onto his face. “Pretty huh,” he said wiggling his eyebrows, “I knew you couldn’t help yourself around me in your kitchen that day,” he added biting his lip with far too much confidence that attacked you. “Actually I was thinking of all the pretty noises I could hear from you from Chanhee’s room,” you added smirking watching his face fall red blushed as the room looked in horror. You felt proud you had worked him out as one of Chanhee’s special guys so easily. Youngjae dashed to help his Hyungs as you started pouring the shot glasses that Haknyeon brought out.

“So who’s taking part,” he asked into the room. “I’m so in,” Sunwoo chimed, “count me in,” Kevin added, “and me,” Hyunjae threw in after drawing in the rest of his beer. “Any one else want to lose to me,” you snigger into the room confidently.

“Maybe I am,” you heard the voice behind you call, “ooh another to take down,” you said turning around for your heart to stop beating. Kim Younghoon was standing there arms folded his dark eyes trying to work you out in his view. “I think your find I’m not easy to take down,” he added walking towards you as you made a note to check your mouth wasn’t hanging agape as you imagined. Words failed you as you watched as he set the drinks into sets of seven. “I think we poured enough for ten shots each,” Haknyeon said as Younghoon set the table up.

With your focus on Younghoon you looked at your collection of shots infront of you. You had done shots a few times with Changmin so you was confident you could pull it off. Your eyes found him watching you intently as he mouthed, “Go knock them dead baby,” as you smirked confidently his way.

Your eyes brushed over each of them as Kevin, Hyunjae, Sunwoo and Youngjae joined you, Haknyeon and Younghoon. “So when Juyeon says we start,” Younghoon says looking at you each as he lingers on you slightly longer then the others. “But it is ok to quit if you can’t take no more, it won’t mean your a failure,” Jacob voice hit over you all with concern. “Says you Hyung I’m laughing at the failures,” Sunwoo scoffed wickedly. “You be laughing at yourself then,” Haknyeon jibes as he elbows him in reaction. Youngjae’s eyes intriguingly watch you, the way he grazes teeth upon his lips has your heart go crazy. You steal your glances towards Younghoon, he’s also watching you intently, his eyes brightened as you get lost in his beauty. “Stop eye fucking each other and get stuck in,” Sunwoo growls interrupting your mental dribbling. You can feel your cheeks heat at being so publicly caught watching.

As soon as Juyeon’s voice tells you to go, your shot takes seconds to fall to the back of your throat as you choke on the burn. You continue to pile the shots in your closed throat hammering them back one after each other till your mouth can’t take no more. Like a warning before a explosion you swallow what your sure is four shots collected. Feeling your gullet burn as the liquid attacks you, your hands toss more to follow the same fate till the shots in your path are empty.

Coughing and spluttering you call out done as you look to your competitors. Younghoon and Youngjae are still looking at you as if they hadn’t even done the challenge, yet there glasses empty told you they had beat you. Hyunjae was mopping his dribble which told you he must had been similar timed as you. The slamming of Kevin’s shot and inaudible words told you finally there was someone you must have beat. Your eyes swarmed to Sunwoo and Haknyeon both still struggling, Haknyeon eventually slamming letting Sunwoo follow with a slight struggle on his composure.

“How’s that failure party over there?” Kevin chuckled sniggering at Sunwoo who attempted to glare through his focus. You went to speak but you reaction to the shots attacked rushing through you. Your speech slurred as you clung to the table struggling with your balance.

“So that’s the birthday boy who won, you can thank me by falling by my feet,” Youngjae teased bowing to his audience full of ego and excitement. Your head swarmed as you took his view in, you walk towards him confidently to high five his way. But as your hands barely touched him your footing got caught on Sunwoo’s, you fell into Youngjae’s shocked grasp. Before you could apologise your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell unconscious in his arms. “Is that the falling at your feet you wanted?” Hyunjae sniggered as you heard Chanhee tut before you fell to a drunken slumber again.

“Your a right shit drinker,” Chanhee scolded when your eyes found him sat laying by your side. You went to move and sat up but your head grumbled the whole way. “Changmin bring this light weight some paracetamol,” Chanhee shouted as he smiled at you wincing. “What the fuck man my head,” you scolded. “Well if you listened to me you wouldn’t have had this, well what ever that was,” he said pointing his finger up and down your body that made you want to bite it like a toddler having a tantrum.

“You told me to be friends with them,” you moaned as Changmin made his way into your room, orange juice and pain relief in his grasps. “I told you to get to know them, not poorly attempt to drink them under the table and fall at there feet,” Chanhee said sarcastically. “Well Hyung you did tell her to not be a prune, throwing yourself at men is far from being that,” Changmin teased passing you the pills that you tossed to the back of your throat, swigging the juice you had snatched from his hand.

“I didn’t throw myself I, wait did I pass out?” You questioned knowing full well you could handle your drink. “You went down quicker then the titanic,” Changmin chuckled. “Shit,” you palmed your forehead, you remembered taking Tramadol just hours earlier when your back twinged in fear of looking cold if the pain got worsened. “What?” Changmin asked sitting by your side. “I took Tramadol and then drunk,” you said eyes widening as you felt foolish. “I’m confused that wouldn’t make you pass out like you did surely,” Changmin questioned. “It’s a strong painrelief don’t be an idiot Changmin,” Chanhee scolded.

“Tramadol is a known date rape drug once added to alcohol,” Younghoon voice interjected into the room. Your eyes widened at the beautiful human who was walking into your room while you was looking a sordid mess. “So she date raped herself?” Changmin said quizzingly getting confused. “How can she date rape herself and also why do we even need to talk about that word because that never happened,” Chanhee said wincing as he spoke. “She stupidly mixed drugs and alcohol trying to look cool,” Chanhee scolded looking at you as you closed your eyes feeling foolish.

“Chanhee I doubt she did that, well not intentionally, I’m sure she didn’t take it for recreational reasons, I can already tell she’s not that type of girl,” Younghoon scolded as he smiled your way. “My back was having twinges,” you said as Chanhee looked to the pillow he was holding. “I’m sorry Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you was in pain, especially your back like you know I know that past. I wouldn’t have dragged you in pain,” he said holding his hands warmly in yours. “I wanted to go, I’ve been so cold to your friends and I wanted to make peace with them,” you said looking at Younghoon.

“You’ve not been cold with me,” he said smiling reassuring you. “Oh she’s been cold,” Chanhee whittled into the air, “but if I knew you was in pain I would have known it wasn’t an excuse. If I knew about the Tramadol I wouldn’t have let you drink,” Chanhee added his tone softening. “Me too Y/N you know I wouldn’t have encouraged you,” Changmin said smiling.

“Oh shit it was Youngjae I fell into wasn’t it?” You said throwing your hand over your face. “Oh yes and he’s been telling everyone how he was the one to have you fall at there feet, cocky little shit,” Changmin chuckled. “I’ll put a stop to that don’t you worry,” Younghoon said tensing Up a little. “Thanks, wait how did I get home?” you asked looking between them. Changmin smile erupting to devilishly. “I carried you home Y/N,” Younghoon said intensely. “Yeah you owe him your pain relief you hefty lump,” Chanhee jibes earning you to playfully slap his arm. “He even helped you into your PJs,” Changmin said winking. “No, no I didn’t, that was Chanhee but I watched,” Younghoon added proudly till the way you was all looking at him.

“That’s not what I meant like I know your deal, I knew something was off with the way she lost her mind so quickly. I was making sure there was none of this teaching,” Younghoon said as Chanhee opened his mouth insulted. “How can I teach someone who passed out, use your brain Younghoon, she would have been safe,” he growled. “Ok guys headache not being helped right now,” you said to calm the irate house mate.

“You hungry Y/N?” Changmin added feeling the icy tension fill the air. “Actually I am, let’s go for a greasy English fry up,” you said leaping out the bed. “How about I go fetch it and we cook it for you,” Younghoon said smiling at you as you nodded smiling back at him before he left.

You had settled on the sofa as Younghoon sat beside you. He had decided to stay behind to keep an eye on you as Changmin and Chanhee was out with Haknyeon that evening. “So are we watching a movie then?” He asked as your hands hovered over the control. “We can do as there seems to be nothing on,” you said scrolling through the channels. “What you up for?” He asked, “not porn,” you scoffed watching his lips part agape. “Hey I don’t need to watch porn when I can make it,” he winks making you blush crazy.

The thought of him between your legs drove through your mind. You found experiencing having sex with him as your first would be much more preferable then Changmin and Chanhee who was merrily just friends. “If you go any redder we be putting you on the cake,” he teases. “What if I am the cake?” You playfully reply earning him to look impressed with your swift relaxedness at joking with him. “Mmmm cherry cake,” he smirks. “You see I would lick at the cream till it’s naked, but leave that cherry so I can pop it before losing myself in to the yumminess,” he says rather seductively that you can see his eyes looking lust filled. “But we know your not ready to be eaten yet,” he chuckles as he grabs the control out your hand to switch to the movie section. “What if I am?” You said without thinking as your mind races. Are you sure you want to go the next step with him?

Younghoon didn’t expect this response, he lowers his hand control in hand, tilting his head at you letting you analyse your words. Your thighs tremble at the thought of having him between you and you know it’s what you want. “Teach me the next lesson,” you softly plead as he shifts in his chair to get closer. Lifting his finger under your chin to look at him he moves towards you. Lips brushing against your cheek bone slowly surpassing your lips towards your ears. “I don’t teach I haven’t got the tolerance to fuck my pupils, but I’ll help you if your mine,” he whispers as his deep voice attacks you making you shiver. “Mine, huh? you say confuse as his eyes are just inches away from yours. “Mine Y/N, as in I own you, this body, this skin,” he says returning his lips to your other ear before pressing kisses on your neck.

As he suckles gently on your skin towards your collarbone, hands gripping around his back pushing him closer to you, “I’m yours,” you moan. Spoken words fallen from your lips he flips you on to your back as he hovers over you. “You sure you want this,” he asks looking down at you as you nod. “I want this, I want you,” you pant almost impatiently. “Patience baby girl,” he coos as he bites on your lower lips. “We are in no rush,” he chuckled as his lips find there way back to your neck. Kisses up to your ear to suckle on your ear lobe, his deep breath heavily in your hearing sends your heart racing.

When his lips find there way to yours, the kisses are so much softer then you expected as he kisses you slowly, letting his tongue invade to massage together. Your hands are behind his back pressing his chest against yours, the desire to feel his skin next to yours is heightening your desire at this moment. Your fingers find the hem at the back of his T-shirt and you help to bring it up, his lips leaving to help with your non verbal request. Your moan gets trapped in the back of your throat of the view as you take the beauty of him in. You lean your self up to press kisses to his freed collar bone. Feeling his bulge tenting in his trousers as he finds himself slowly getting lost in your kisses. His hands a little inpatient going for your own T-shirt to help reveal your bra. Lips clashing with your cleavage, his hands play with the clasp freeing your breasts so they fall into his hands. “Oh my they feel so good,” he compliments as his hands kneed the soft supple of your breasts, his lips finding there way joining the fun.

You brought your pelvis to meet his, his bulge crashing into your core. “Oh baby you really are inpatient to have this cherry popped,” he hums against your breasts. “Well let’s not keep you waiting,” he teased as his hands find there way to your shorts. Fingers in the band, he tugs at them as you lifted your hip helping him to remove the remaining items of your clothing. He enjoys sitting on his heel when he finished looking at you displayed naked and wet for him.

Before you can plead with him his fingers brush lightly against your clit as he enjoys the view of heaven on your face. Enjoying each second his fingers are placed around your heat, he enjoys exploring every inch. Devilishly smiles emerging when ever he can get a sound from your throat to emit. As you buckle towards him his fingers slide in to your core, back arching he curves it against your walls. “Look at you baby girl looking so weak against my touch,” he teases as he speeds himself against you. Sweet spot beneath the tips of his fingers your walls clench around him, he bites his lips at how fucked out you look. “Baby you wait till that’s my cock,” he gloats like the sexual demon he’s unearthing. “I want your cock now,” you cry needing him to break you in and make his claim. “You sure your ready? he asks softly as he tilts his head, slowing his rhythm till you nod biting onto your lips.

Fingers leaving you empty, he stands to remove his clothing pulling a condom out his wallet that’s now thrown to the floor. You sit up to hold his impressive length as you feel it in your palm. He watches you as you pump him slowly, his teeth raking his lips as you speed your pace. “Think you prepped him enough,” He coos as you smear precum around him.

You watch as he rips the condom with his teeth and covers himself. “I take it your not on the pill?” he smiles as you shake your head. “Suggest maybe taking care of that,” he said smirking as you nod making a mental note to remember to organise that tomorrow. “Because I really want to feel you raw against me,” he said mischievously that has you dazed by his beauty.

His lips return back to you passionate and longing as his lips help to push you back onto the sofa. Warm skin next to yours is pleasant but his member resting against your heat drives you crazy as you brush yourself against him. “For a virgin your not half impatient,” he chuckles into your kiss. “You know it will hurt,” he warns as you nod, “I’m aware of that, I’m not as stupid as Chanhee likes making me out to be,” you said as he brushed his thumb along your cheek bone. “You need me to stop just tell me,” he says before his lips return to yours once more.

Rolling his member against you, you yourself help to meet him, you feel your heat throbbing impatiently. Hands gripping his member he brushes it against your folds enjoying one final last tease before pushing the head briefly in. Nails digging into his skin as you fight the pain ripping you while he slowly pushes himself inch by inch into you. “You ok baby?” he coos peppering kisses along your jaw as you nod. Stilling once inside you he waits for you to fully stretch around him. “You ready baby girl?” He asks as you croak out a yes in reply.

His speed is slow and gentle, his lips help retrain your focus on him as you slowly let the pain subside. Once pleasure is washing through you he sets his pace. The only nail digging is at each precise slam of his member against your sweet spot. Cry’s fall into the air as he speeds himself as you feel your core starting to build. “You feel so tight around my cock,” he groans near your ear that has you tighten around his cock. “Shit keep doing that and I will cum,” he moans as you continue to clamp around him. He speeds further to have your back arching as you lose your focus. Warmth spreading through your core, your thighs begin to shake as you start chasing your high. Younghoon noticing this has his teeth find there way to your neck as he marks you.

“Fuck,” you cry as if it turns you rabid, your pelvis meeting his as moans hit the air. “Your mine,” he cry’s as he becomes sluggish, his deep moans being what pushes you into your own orgasm. Walls clamping and convulsing around him pushes Younghoon into his as he fills his condom.

Thrusts slowing as you begin to feel sensitive from his member slowly softening against you. “For a virgin, you took me so well baby girl,” he complimented panting letting his cock slip from you. “Oh I think Chanhee’s going to know you popped that cherry,” he said grimacing. “Right let’s get you washed up,” he coo’s before you can question him, he carry’s you in his warm arms to the bathroom.

Placing you on a towel he runs the bath sprinkling some salts in. Holding his hand out to you to take he helps you submerge into the hot water. “Right let me clean the mess up and I’ll be right back, relax,” he smiles pressing a kiss to your forehead as he leaves collecting the towel on his way.

After hearing the washing machine running, he returns, his member slightly red tinged letting you know that he had spared your blushes as he slipped behind you in the bath.

“So now my training’s complete I can stop seeing Chanhee and Changmin and just chill with you right? Especially as your now what my boyfriend,” you question him as you relax into his chest. “Oh baby just because I’m your boyfriend doesn’t mean your training’s finished,” he chuckles as he kisses your crown. “There’s so much more to learn then just vanilla sex, and I plan for the rest of the Boyz to help, let’s call this merrily an open relationship,” he chuckled as your Brain floats on over load.

A what relationship?

Previous chapter Next Chapter

Masterlist

[basmathgirl]

On my who knows how many at this point rewatch of Ten and I always laugh when Rose says “and this is the story of how I died” in Doomsday and “you’re gonna die” to Donna in Turn Left. Why are you being dramatic? You didn’t die and neither did Donna. Although Rose should’ve died because it was basically her fault for what happened to Donna. And if you think about it, if The Doctor wanted Rose back so badly he would’ve found a way because that’s just who Ten was. If he really wanted her, he would e let her stay with him after Journey’s End. But he clearly didn’t. He wanted to stay with Donna. Also, TimePetals as a ship name just sounds bad. Like it sounds kinda cute at first but after a while I’m kinda like 🤨 nah. Sounds almost like a disease or a drug. Wanna buy some TimePetals? 😂

Hello kind Anon

I think Rose was being dramatic at the beginning of Doomsday because her age - despite RTD getting the maths of this in a complete tangle - being 19 by the time the programme aired in 2006. According to a Doctor Who annual, she was born in April 1987. Which means that when the Doctor visits her New Years Eve 2004 (and probably in Hendricks 2005, S1) when she was only 17. More than a a little bit pervy, as far as I'm concerned; and definitely classed as a child.

Other people disagree with this, and that is their prerogative.

Let's be honest, we all knew RTD loved Rose too much to ever kill her off; so I never fully believed that line. Turns out she was classed as "missing, presumed dead" anyway. I won't say what I mutter when Rose appears during Turn Left, as this is a family blog... 😉 (I say far worse things when listening to the DVD commentary, btw)

I totally agree with you. Where there's a will, there's a way. Especially in Doctor Who. But the Doctor chose Donna; and I will never accept that load of bull about Rose being his soulmate. The whole thing makes me shudder. Now I feel that Jackie should have hit him even harder for being a dirty old man. But that's another gripe.

For some reason the title TimePetals always makes me think of those Pretty Peach toiletries little girls were given as gifts, back when I was a child. My mum was an Avon lady for a while, and I would help package them up.

The name would fit those drugs they tried to sell Martha on New New/whatever Earth 😂 "Rediscover your youthfulness by taking it", no doubt; especially as they had a thing about dressing Rose up in S2 as a little girl in a tiny pinafore, with matching pigtails. As you can tell, I really detested them changing her into some sort of Lolita object as "something for the dads" Ugh!!

Other than that, I totally avoid anything labelled as TimePetals. It's safer that way.

[taletheoldcrowtold]

Pride 2024 - Day 17

Movie: Pariah

Made in: 2011 – Set in: 2011

Starring: Adepero Oduye, Sahra Mellesse, Pernell Walker, Aasha Davis, Kim Wayans, Charles Parnell, Shamika Cotton

Rated R for: Language, sexual content, brief drug use and brief violence

Alike is a teenager who is forced to be someone she’s not by her mother and hides the fact she is a lesbian from her parents. When Alike’s mother presses her to befriend a colleague’s daughter, a friendship between them grows to a surprising outcome.

It’s a movie that shows being a teenager experiencing sexuality and wanting to find love, while also being afraid to get comfort or help form her parents. It shows what being a gay child to a religious parent can be like and how sometimes you just have to walk away from things that hurt you.

Spoilers under Keep Reading Line

No one dies in the movie, but Alike is physically attacked by her mother in one scene.

This movie shows what it’s like to be lesbian in an area that isn’t accepting of them. I liked Alike and how she wasn’t just a push-over and only gave in when it seemed nothing else would work. I felt sorry for her with how controlling her mother was and could understand why she’d keep so many secrets from her mom. Alike’s friend, Laura, wasn’t welcome with her own mother or Alike’s and I feel like that is because she’s a lesbian. Which would be another reason of hesitation from Alike. I felt sorry for the both of them and could understand the choices they made. I feel like Laura might have been in love with Alike? She didn’t really act like it as she tried to get Alike a girlfriend, but at times seemed almost jealous when Alike actually liked a girl. Alike’s mother was very hard to like at times as she forced Alike to be someone else and do things she clearly didn’t want to do. Though sometimes I wonder how much of her controlling nature was from her crumbling marriage and a need for control in her life. The movie hits you in the gut when Alike tells her mother she loves her and doesn’t get it said back. Parents should be accepting of their children and love them and it made me feel for Alike that she didn’t get that from her mother.

Mom’s Thoughts: This movie has been called by some reviewers “the female Moonlight.” I think this film had much deeper character development than Moonlight, possibly because it didn’t try to cover as great a time span as Moonlight and showed more of the character making choices rather than just taking what life threw at her. It is a coming-of-age, family drama story, very thought provoking and gives the audience an idea of what it is like for a young lesbian to explore her identity and her place in her family and community. I liked the fact that Alike (pronounced Ah-LEE-kay), or Lee, has her friend Laura whom she can confide in and get guidance from since her mom isn’t someone she can get unconditional love from. I felt sympathy for both Laura and Alike because neither had a mother who accepted them for who they are or loved them unconditionally. As a mother I could never shut out my child, no matter what. At the end Lee leaves home to stay with Laura after her mother attacks her. Her father goes to see her and she tells him she isn’t going back home. She’s been accepted into a school program that will help her attain her personal dreams. He thinks she’s running away. She tells him she’s not running away, she’s choosing. I liked that she had agency, made choices for herself and stood up to her mother, something I thought Chiron lacked in Moonlight. Also, I liked that her father seemed to accept her for who she was, not what he wanted her to be. I would watch this film again, perhaps to be able to pick up more of the story that I missed the first time through.

[mattyfizzle]

"RIP Backpage... You will be missed dearly buyt never forgotten as you will live on in the hearts of every mark ass trick, trick ass mark, scip scap scallwop as long as there are Johns paying for sex."

Imagine if the ghost of backpage past decided it was going to haunt every John who tried to skip on on paying a hooker after they fullfilled their verbal contract plus some. Recently, a buddy of mine offered my homegirl 40 dollars to suck his dick to which she obliged becuase she was broke and homeless and needed the money. After getting past the insulting amount of the offer she blows him down with as much energy as she could muster, after a 3 or 4 day run during which she did not sleep even a wink.

$40 bucks doesn't buy the most epic blowjob right guys....

The guy was such a creep that he violated her only rule which was to keep his hands off the back of her head. Her reason doesn't matter she told him before she accepted money and he agreed but for moment one he kept trying to slam a square peg through a round hole. Some girls like it when you do that and some girls only tolerate it but this day in age even if you are paying for it you don't get to do whatever you want... now check this out, I have been the receptient of numerous free blowjobs from this girl.....top notch and I never put my hands on her not once....but this guy not only touched her head but it sounded like he was trying to orce her to do something she didn't wanna do and why the fuck would you do that bro she already has your dick all her her mouth. She tells you the third time as she has to stop what shes doing, remove said dick from her mouth stand up and come and get me to tell me what happened.

I thought she was just going to my neighbors for a fucking sandwhich jesus christ

I said. "Well do you have the money still?" I asked her calmly.

"Yes," she says and then adds, "I dont' have to give it back do I, I still did what I said I was gonna do." These damaged drug addicted streetwalkers from the streets of Portland man, tugging on my heart strings.

"No you don't have to give it back... do you want to go spend it right now or do yo you need to save it for something?" she answered with a resounding....

"Both"

"Give me 20 of it and when you need to spend it I will give it back to you I promise ok. Thats your money I don't want anyone to try to punk you out for it or talk you out of it or try to borrow it or even just have you lose it. Here's a receipt if you worried about trusting me but you don't have too. It sounds like this guy didn't quite rape you, but he should still be talked too and officially warned by another man so it has the right effect does that sounds like a proper move going forward... or do you want this guy to get smacked around its up to you...

Just know that your words here have effects in the wreal world.

You say smack him around and I will smack him around five minutes from now until he feels that same fear and anxiety you felt with his hands on the back of your head.

She thanked me the only way she knew how... with a good old fashioned blow job that curled the toes and loosened the soul a llittle bit...

The moral of the story is don't be a fucking lame and offer yoru homeboys friend money to suck your dick...

get a real hooker and spend real hooker money.... also.... giving money to a hooker is a one way road... once they get it, they are not giving it up. Follow me for more great street smartz stories, tricks and tips from a Pimp {me} to help save you {Simps} one Pimp or Power move at a time.

The ghost of Backpage past has now spoken and after haunting said Pimps and ho's it must now head back to where ever it came from oly to reappear again when it is needed to play

"Captain Save a Pimp"

[paleghostinthecorner02]

Ugh YES. This book is like 80% terrifyingly realistic and complex character writing, 10% wasted potential and 10% "What the fuck is this?"

As a character Claudine is the biggest disappointment in the entire book and one of the biggest in the entire genre. She was SO CLOSE to being an excellent deconstruction of the jealous bitch character who makes life worse for the FL. She had a jaded view of love and marriage, accepting that Matthias didn't love her and she didn't love him and he'd probably have a mistress like every other nobleman in Berg. The only thing she wants is the glamorous life of weath and status being his wife affords. She can tell Matthias has a thing for Layla before even he realizes it and she accepts it since she thinks he's the kind of person who can keep the focus on his wife and treat his mistress as just a mistress. She even thinks at one time that Layla would be a good mistress since she's just a lowly peasant girl who couldn't steal her spotlight, and her ruminations on Layla's beauty are borderline Sapphic. Even after Matthias has manipulated Layla into a sexual relationship Claudine realizes that Layla isn't in it of her own voliton, but because she's trying to protect her beloved Uncle, and she supposedly feels sorry for her.

All this set up had the makings of a complex, sympathetic character who feels torn between letting the status quo she has accepted continue on for the sake of her perfect life, or taking actions to get Layla away from Matthias despite how angry he would become without his Mistress because Layla's pain is not worth it. The major actions she takes to get Layla out of the picture (telling Kyle and Bill about the affair) could easily have been played off as a desperate attempt to goad Layla into running away from her abuse out of concern for her. She could have found out about Matthias planning to have Bill and Layla moved to his mansion in Ratz and feel that the only way Layla would leave is by letting Bill know that his worst fear (Layla being exploited by rich, powerful men) had been happening right under his nose. During Matthias's mental breakdown she could come to realize that he's way more unhinged than she initially believed and decided to leave herself, giving into her love for Riette and thus fulfilling a satisfying character arc from jaded and materialistic to finding the value of love above money and status.

INSTEAD, she suddenly decides that nevermind, she doesn't want Layla around Matthias and becomes a spiteful shitbag who herself victimizes Layla because she DARED to steal her man! What? Bitch, you already know SHE DOESN'T WANT YOUR MAN. SHE WOULD GLADLY LET YOU HAVE HIM ALL TO YOURSELF. HER GOAL IN LIFE EVENTUALLY BECOMES TO MAKE MATTHIAS NO LONGER WANT HER AND GET ON WITH HER LIFE. You dense motherfucker, you became the exact type of noblewomen you thought you were so much better than because your ass got chapped that a dude you don't even like was paying more attention to another woman over you. Attention that as I said, was completely unwanted and the kind you should be glad you aren't receiving. Layla literally has the same goal as you WHY ARE YOU ASSAULTING HER WHILE CRYING ABOUT HER WANTING WHAT'S YOURS WHEN YOU KNOW SHE DOESN'T WANT WHAT'S YOURS?

Her motivation after that becomes to hurt both Layla and Matthias by telling Layla Matthias helped ruin her plans to marry Kyle and Kyle and Bill about the affair (which she knows will cause them pain and thus cause Layla pain), and those actions motivating Layla to run away. And when she does (after ensuring that she emotionally crushes him YES GIRL), Claudine's attitude is "Wow, you did a great job destroying his mental state, I hope you fucking die now." And she's still such a monumental gold digger that when Matthias is so checked out of reality he's laughing at inappropriate times for no reason, has an eating disorder, drugging himself with sleeping pills to the point he sleeps in until after noon, literally wanders aimlessly around his estate and experinces missing time to the point he doesn't remember almost drowning himself in a fugue state, she STILL wants to marry him and is willing to drag his empty shell down the aisle if she has to. Claudine, Riette loves you and is only one peerage rank below Matthias, is the slight bump in status and wealth really worth marrying someone you despise? *rips hair out of scalp in frustration.*

As for Layla, she gets so much unwarrented shit from so many people. There's the Matthias Stans who actually believe he's the one in the right and Layla is an evil bitch because she hurt his poor feelings when she left (DESERVED!) There's the Kyle Stans who think Layla was a callous golddigger who never cared about him and only wanted to marry him for his money (which is why she decides... Not to marry him and then refuses the expensive things Matthias keeps buying for her???) And then there's the shallow fandom feminists who think the only acceptable FLs are the Bad bitch, girl boss, YASS QUEEN, Strong Female Character™ that crushes everyone who dares cross her and has no meaningful flaws or weaknesses and a woman who has years of unaddressed trauma making bad yet understandable choices due to said trauma and the ensuing mental disorders resulting from it are weak, snivelling morons who should be demonized for their failings.

The tragedy of Layla is that she went through being orphaned, abused, bullied and abandoned by almost everyone in her entire family before she was 12, and it took her literally going to another country by herself to her last hope to finally get with someone willing to take care of her. Even then (and I don't think this is ever addressed by the fandom because of how well loved Bill Remmer is) she's with someone who's constantly talking about how it isn't feasible to keep her permanently and trying to decide when to take her to the orphanage. Yeah, he never does, but imagine being a child constantly abandoned by family living with the constant fear that your one last hope for real family might one day abandon you too. I think if it weren't for the other servants who all banded together to help raise Layla and Bill's societal knowledge of what tends to happen to beautiful women in poverty, he would have done so. She then has to experience what the aristocracy is actually like when Claudine dehumanizes her and Matthias starts bullying her (because God forbid that this prepubescent peasant girl who has no reason to like you avoids being around your college age ass YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING WEIRDO.) Despite all this she still manages to excel in school and have a fairly well adjusted life with her Uncle and best friend, and her goals are just to be a school teacher and continue living a fulfilled life around people she loves. Then Matthias drags her out of her sunny summer world into an abusive hell because something in his brain chemistry finally decided it would let him be aroused by this one person, and the dam that held in a lifetime of emotional suppression and borderline sociopathy decided to burst and bathe Layla and Layla alone in it's toxic, sludgy water. This poor girl had her life ruined by a rich, entitled monster just because his damaged brain said "HER," and it ends up causing her to become so emotionally destroyed her brain decides to protect itself by making her think being with him is her best option.

And after she makes this decision, the book destroys it's biggest bit of potential: It decides that instead of acknowledging that this is a tragic yet realistic outcome that could be expected for a peasant girl who becomes the sole obsession of one of the most powerful men in the country, it'a treated like it's a good thing for her. And it justifies this conclusion by having this actually deranged, abusive shit puddle pull one of the most jarring Heel-Face Turns thay has ever been written in fiction. Suddenly, Matthias is this great guy who should be praised for protecting Layla during a bombing raid, smuggling her back to Berg and setting her and their future child up for life in case he's KiA. And then we're supposed to be sad when he's supposedly KiA (YES!) and we're supposed to be happy when he finally finds her after the war (NO!) And then it's off to the epilogues and side stories where Layla gets married to this thing that we're supposed to think is Matthias, but is so unlike the guy we've spent over 140 chapters reading about that thinking something bizarre like him getting the toxicity blown out of him in the bombing that almost killed him or some benevolent ghost took over his corpse and kept his knowledge and feelings for Layla but not his Matthiassholery is more believable than "He decided to change, and so he did." I dunno, his brain doesn't function properly so maybe it actually was that easy for him? Who the hell knows. I don't, and I don't even think Solche does.

My feelings on cry or better yet beg and the utter wasted potential for a psychological tragedy of the imbalance of relationships between noblemen and their mistresses

First off, if I was told I could only kill off one male lead, it'd be him

Lot of people rn especially on tik-tok probably would flame me for this with the "at least he loves Layla! He's so protective of her!"

"it's a dark romance! It won't be sunshine and rainbows you snowflake!"

"He just doesnt know how to express his emotions because he's so sheltered!"

No, just no, I don't care how "hot" he is, I don't care if he's your protective little bad boy. I don't care about his supposed character development, That's a straight up abuser who started off killing birds knowing it would damage to Layla to straight up assaulting her. (I don't know if that will stay in the webtoon, but it was in the novel) no character development can make me like a fucking rapist

Like how in the hell is Claudine considered worse than Mathhias, sure she isn't so peachy herself but goddammit to think of the fiance who if anything would be supported had she been the main protagonist, yes she's pretty demeaning, a bit shallow, and only views Matthias as the perfect Duke, but at least she's not going around mentally torturing a boy who can't do anything against her. I haven't gotten to her ending yet but from what I hear, it isn't a good one. She such a wasted opportunity since she is such a perfect example of a woman prepped and groomed to just be a Dukes wife would come out feeling that her worth only comes her husband.

Justice for Claudine, I just know there's a fanfic out there where you get with Riette, grow as your own person, and live a pleasant life.

You wanna know what really hurts me about this manhwa though? The fact that's it's so unintentionally accurate to how horrible it truly is to be a mistress in an era where women, especially women with no royal titles or status, were often treated by rich and powerful men. They would mostly have no right to say no to a man who decides he wants her, Layla romanticizing her abuse is not just heartbreaking but also unfortunately realistic as it's a coping mechanism for those who had endured nothing but abuse their whole life so they tend to shove their feelings in a box and pretend everything is okay (obviously this isn't the same for all victims of abuse, it's one of the many coping mechanisms people could develop)

In a lot of historical manhwa, there's usually the obligatory mistress character designed to be a dumb trashy bimbo to uplift the lead. Most of the time, the mistress in question is either a daughter of minor nobility that was chosen by a Emperor, crown prince, or Duke, or the mistress lived her life as a poor farm girl and in some situations lived a life where no one cared about her and was likely abused, the latter is often rare for these mistress characters since authors of those stories only want you sympathizing with the leads but in rare cases, the mistress did have a hard life but it ends up being undermined to further damage the mistress as torture/revenge porn or in Laylas case: used as an explanation to give a disturbing reason to why she ends up falling in love with Matthias which wouldn't be wrong if the story was written in a way that was a tragic one, not a romantic one.

you would think this kind of glamorouzation of abuse would only exist in the authors mindset and the degeneracy that is a junior high girls mind, but no, the ides that Layla is somehow the one in the wrong for her own abuse and reluctance of Matthias and there is even an Instagram post claiming she has BPD for being too "difficult" they sound like those 1950s doctors that find any reason to lobotomize a patient.

Laylas character does open the truths of what it's truly like to be practically owned by a nobleman, she's not like Rashta or Aisha from divorcing my tyrant husband where she's portrayed as a silly and cute strumpet with ulterior motives, she is genuinely upset but she can't do anything about it so all she can do is convince herself that Matthias loves her so she can keep her sanity, but where it goes wrong is that instead of portraying this as an unhealthy yet sole coping mechanism for an abusive relationship, the story just chalks it down to "silly Layla! You'll see that he's just misunderstood and you really do love him deep down!" Its frankly atrocious that the one time a story has a realistic pair of the typical women in this trope, the first wife who is classy and refined and the mistress who is young and free spirited ends ultimately destroyed yet again with a case black and white writting. One woman must be good and the other woman must be bad.

Frankly these characters are well written for the most part and until I realized I supposed to see Matthias as the love interest and not Kyle, I was fine with who Matthias was since he was presented more so as a villain, the art is also one of the prettiest cottagecore artstyles I've ever seen to the point where the 3D models look really good since it blends in perfectly, it's just sad that cry or better yet beg is a sick twisted tale equivalent to the average Colleen Hoover book.

[haila-wetyios]

For your charas: 30. Who do they most regret meeting? For you: A) Why are you excited about this character? B) What inspired you to create them?

Who do they most regret meeting?

In Haila's case, definitely the person she regrets meeting the most was a Keeper by the name of Khona'to Garanjy. There was a time when Haila actively sought people out to talk to them, and Khona'to was one such person, though for her very own reasons.

She noticed something particularly similar to herself when it came to aether signatures, and both were somehow relieved to discover the reason behind it. Haila's aether was partially corrupted after Carteneau, which attuned her to the dreadwyrm's aether, but also claimed her left eye in the process. Khonato's aether was also corrupted and attuned to the dreadwyrm, losing his right eye in the process.

Both were the perfect reflection of the other in red and blue eyes, with the only difference that Haila's condition had been the result of a natural accident, while Khonato's was the result of a controlled experiment.

Under normal circumstances, this would have created a good natured bond between the two as they held mutual curiosity with an extension to friendship towards the other.

But things didn't turn out that way. Khona'to ran a grey business, and one of the jobs he accepted turned out to be to hunt Haila down for information regarding a drug smuggled from Garlemald that she'd come accross and hid from the public.

Work is work, and no matter the refusal to cooperate, or the fact Haila pleaded him to not do that and still betting on the goodness of his heart. She was captured, dragged away and tortured with no remorse from him or his associates to the point of almost losing her sanity.

When word got out of what had been done to her, and how Haila's own people were now on the hunt for him and his company, he went as far as to throw his partner out as bait to take full responsibility for it.

Needless to say that, even though Haila wanted her revenge, she felt disgusted and sick to her core when finding out how he washed his hands off his own partner to get away with everything.

She regrets ever approaching him, and trying to find a mutual understanding of one another for the hand they'd been dealt in life.

A) Why are you excited about this character?

I've actually had an on and off struggle with Haila over excitement about her as a character. But that's mostly from my bias of being wary of lorebending or power levels just for the sake of wanting to be accepted by other RPers. Which is the wrong approach and something that takes time to come to terms with. One should write what they like regardless of what others think, and I still struggle to do that with Haila. I like her, she's been with me for a decade now as a character, but I have a hard time being more open both to myself and others about playing her the way I'd like.

I feel like a kid that is embarrassed about telling others that they still play with dolls. I have tropes and things I love but restrained myself to an unhealthy level that makes it hard for me to accept and not be wary of just doing what makes me happy. And that's not adding my own issues with my coping mechanism in life that has been affecting me far more as of late, if it's too overwhelming, just don't feel anything at all.

Haila's one of my first characters, and I have a lot of lore and stories I do hope to share more openly someday with people though. I want her to be pretty, I want her to show more confidence both ICly and from the way I write her. I just want her to be strong and happy and also adopt all the chaotic children she can without remorse that she's imposing on others for doing that.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I like covering this part every now and then lol. Haila's just a mere coincidence that took shape on her own. I didn't know about RP when I first made a Haila in XIV. I just gave her red and blue eyes as a reference to my Mabinogi character who had had a phase of dressing purely in blue or purely in red in a fox and swan aesthetic. Got white marks on both cheeks because sure why not and then got thrown out into the world as Haila Sinclair from Tiamat (JP) and then Lich (EU). Heck, Haila Wetyios was only supposed to be my Balmung "alt" after seeing a lot of people being in that server in Tumblr and slowly getting to know about RP as a whole in it. Wetyios is just the last name I liked the most from a fantasy last name generator. And when I first started her out, I literally threw in the amnesiac trope until she or myself figured out exactly what she was about.

All in all, I just like refined ladies who are still strong one way or the other (and the color red and blue).

[becauseimaladythatswhy]

PULSE 2🌺

(Ramon Arellano “Narcos Mexico” x Fem!Reader SEX POLLEN)

POV: You’re a cop on the biggest drug bust of your career and you stumble onto the youngest Arellano with a new hot drug which leaves you two in quite an awkward situation after it goes very wrong.

Warnings: dubious consent, enemies to lovers in you squint heard enough, p in v sex, Ramon is a wild man, he’s hot I’m not sorry for my actions :) 🌺

Here’s part two! I’m going to start writing part 3 which I think should be the last part 💕

Part 1

Your week back at work hadn’t been easy. 

Trying to keep calm despite having the deadliest narco prince “maybe” on your ass, you were positive the stress was taking years off your life. 

Everything that could have gone wrong was going absolutely into the shitter. Multiple bad tips, a failed raid, and worst of all, pulse was starting to crop up in clubs. You were drowning in coffee and sleeping under your desk every night now, too uncomfortable to go back to your apartment. 

Every bump in the night you were convinced it was a sicario at your door sent by none other than the Ramon Arellano. Nights at the station were getting long anyways, there wasn’t really a point in going home you reasoned. Better then having Daniel finding your body in a ditch somewhere.

You hadn’t even moved the bag of cash out of your living room. It’s still sitting next to your fireplace. You contemplated burning it. It was dirty money after all. That cash was drug money… Ramon Arellano’s money. 

You refused to accept it. Your morality was too strong. But you couldn’t exactly turn it into the station. That would open too many questions. You know Daniel would pry, along with the chief. They’d wonder how you got it and that was definitely out of the question. You absolutely couldn’t tell them you slept with the enemy in a drug induced haze and in return he left you a bag of cash… and he also happens to know where you live now. 

You decided once your anxiety about returning to your apartment died down, you’d take the cash and give it out to the charities around town. Hopefully some good can come from it. 

“Another night under the desk?” Daniel asked snapping you out of your thoughts. He came into the office with a bag of pastries as a steaming cup of coffee. 

“Yup.”

“Y/N, you need to actually get real sleep. You’re starting to look like a corpse.” He nodded in your direction. 

“I just don’t want to be alone.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes. 

“I know being trapped in a concrete box is like traumatizing and all that, but you’re going to burn out if you don’t sleep.” 

“I am sleeping.” 

“Laying on a pallet under the desk is not good sleep.” Daniel spun around in his desk chair, “Besides, you’re going to see a lot more traumatizing shit with this job so you gotta get over it sooner or later.” 

“How do you do it?” 

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I just do.” 

“Officer Y/L/N and Officer Ramirez, I have another case here from the Chief.” The secretary you see every day came skipping into the office with a manila folder. 

“Thanks, Maria.” Daniel smiled at her watching her leave in her tight pencil skirt. 

You shook your head and reached for the folder. Daniel saw you and snatched the folder up before you could get your hands on it. 

“Nuh uh.” He shook his finger at you, “Go home. You’re calling in sick today and you’re going to catch up on your sleep. I can’t have you running around on half a tank. You’ll get us killed if you’re not on your A game.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Mhm.” Daniel stood up taking his coffee with him along with the report. 

Giving you no choice, you stood up feeling the fatigue in your body. You bent down and grabbed your bag along with your house keys and a fully loaded gun. You said your goodbyes to the other officers and detectives before informing Maria you were going home for the day. She was sweet about it, and told you that she’d let people know you were out. With a smile, you turned to leave the station. 

Walking down the stairs towards the car park, you started to feel the all too familiar anxiety creep up on you. You hadn’t been in your apartment for days. You sighed and unlocked your car, started it up, and drove home. Luckily the station wasn’t too far, but the lull of the engine had started to make your eyes feel heavy. 

Pulling into your street spot, you hopped out of the car and locked it dreading the climb up the stairs to your front door. You groaned internally and flipped through your keys before grabbing the one to your door. 

You heart started to race as you pushed the front door open only to find everything exactly how you left it. You sighed in relief and threw your work back on the floor next to the door along with your shoes. You walked into the kitchen only to find the fruit in the bowl on the counter had molded and pretty much everything in the fridge was spoiled. 

Deciding to throw everything in the trash, and just order take out later was the best decision you had ever made. The second your back hit the plushness of your mattress you were out, and you couldn’t care less about food at the moment. You didn’t even change out of your uniform. The exhaustion of the past week finally had caught up to you. 

You had been in the deepest sleep of your life until a loud bang startled you awake. Reaching for your gun, you sat up feeling your heart race. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Standing up, you quickly force the sleep out of your system. It was replaced with vicious adrenaline. You were about to step out into the hallway when you heard your next door neighbor through the wall. 

“Shit.” You shook your head and put your gun back in your belt to rub your eyes.

They must have slammed their door again. 

You took in a deep shaky breath and settled down. You chastised yourself for being so pathetic. 

Ramon probably just sent the money as a one time thing. There is no reason for him to be lurking around here. 

You were a cop after all. A low ranked one at that too. You weren’t important enough to waste any time on. You were being paranoid.

Once you talked yourself down and got your shit together, you stripped from your uniform and turned on the shower to scrub the last week off. Once clean, you put on your comfy clothes and phoned in your order to the restaurant a few blocks away. The clock read 6:00pm and you frankly were impressed you were able to sleep for so long without being awoken. But, now you were definitely passed hungry and very excited for take out.

You grabbed your purse and looked at the gun on the nightstand. You went to reach for it, but remembered what Daniel had said earlier. You just have to do it. Your gut knotted up with uncertainty but ultimately you decided to leave it. 

Your ego couldn’t handle seeing yourself as weak and decided since the restaurant was only a few blocks away you’d be fine. Making sure you have cash on you, you slipped on your filthy sneakers and left the apartment to grab your dinner. 

You waved at your neighbors on your way down the steps before stepping out into the street. Everything was busy as people were making their commutes home from work and you saw all the familiar faces you had gotten to know over the past few months after moving into this town. 

The lamp lit roads guided your way down towards the local restaurant and you actually had felt relaxed. 

The warm breeze was comforting along with the music spilling out from people’s balconies as dinner time approached. 

You turned right into the yellow painted restaurant were you smiled at the receptionist. She took your payment and handed you the bag of take out that smelled heavenly. 

You waved goodbye before making your way back home. This definitely beats the break room food you’d been barely surviving off of the past few days that was for sure. 

Your stomach growled as you unlocked your door and stepped inside to kick your shoes off. Making your way over to the kitchen you set the steaming bag of food down along with your purse and turned to grab a plate from the cabinet. 

The moment you set the plate down a shuffling noise made you freeze in place. 

“Princesa.” 

Your blood ran cold. 

No. 

Putting your fork down, you turned very slowly towards the living room by your couch. Sitting on the leather chair next to the window was none other then Ramon fucking Arellano. 

You instinctively reached for your gun only to find your waist band empty. 

“Looking for this?” He stood up holding up your weapon giving it a good wave. It looked small in his hands. 

You were scared. You’ve never felt so naked before. Standing before him now, he seemed so visceral. He radiated power and strength. He reminded you of a jaguar. He was wild, and untamed and it made your blood run ice cold. 

You felt like a deer in the jaws of a predator, waiting for him to snap your silly little neck. 

You put your hands up showing him you mean no harm praying he’d let you live. 

“What do you want?” You trembled. 

“Where have you been?” He asked leaning against your mantle. 

“What?” You narrowed your eyes. 

“You haven’t been here.” He looked around at your apartment. 

“You’ve been watching me?” 

He snorted and crossed his arms, “Of course.” ...of course... you shivered.

Your heart thumped in your chest. You felt like you were going to faint. Nothing felt real anymore. There’s no way Ramon was in your apartment right now. You forced yourself to suck in oxygen.

“I thought you would have sent one of your boys after me.” You studied his lax posture. He raised a brow watching you shift your weight... you wanted out. You were nervous.

 You sighed, “I was at the station.” 

“For five days?”

“Shits been crazy no thanks to you.” You accused with snark.

He smirked. You realized he likes it when you’re feisty. He makes that face.

“And I wasn’t wrong.” You gestured to him, he in fact did come after you, “So what do you want? You want to kill me? Just get it over with.” 

He crossed his arms keeping your weapon in his grasp. 

“I don’t want to kill you baby.” He stood up straight and took a few steps closer to you even though you backed up into the kitchen, “But I definitely can’t just let you go.” 

“Why? Is it the money?” You shook your head, “I don’t want it, just take it.” 

“It’s not the money baby.” He crooned and set the gun down on the table next to the couch. He continued his prowl towards you, and there was nothing you can do but press yourself into the pantry door and pray. 

“I didn’t tell anyone.” You started to tremble again as he neared. When he came into the full light of the kitchen you could see his features clearer than ever. The last time you had been this close he was so far deep inside you, you were seeing stars. 

His scent was beginning to fill your senses again and you couldn’t stop the chills that ran down your spine. Fuck.

“Of course you didn’t baby.” He backed you up into the pantry and boxed you in. His voice was honeyed as he towered over you. You looked down at his exposed chest and undone buttons, intimidated by his intensity, but Ramon didn’t like that. He pushed a finger under your chin forcing you to look up at him. The same hand brushed against your cheek and then moved your freshly washed hair out of your face. 

You trembled under his touch, and looked up at him with wide eyes, “Why are you here then?” 

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “I want you, Y/N.”

Chills vibrated through your entire body setting it on fire. You turned your head away from him desperate for air. 

“Why?” You whimpered. He ran his fingers down your neck like he had that night, and it made you weak. Suddenly he firmly wrapped his hand around your neck pinning you in place. The images of a deer in the jaw of a lion replayed in your mind, and in this moment you had no doubt that Ramon held your life in his very strong hands. He could snap you in half right now if he so pleased. 

He leaned forwards and placed a kiss to your forehead, “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head princesa. I smell you on me…my clothes, you’re like drug baby.” He squeezed your neck a bit feeling your pulse race beneath your skin, “those damn pigs have been keeping you away from me, hm?” He pressed another kiss into your forehead, “I came to see you a few days later, and you were gone.” 

“How did you find me?” You whispered. 

He chuckled, “You’re one of three female officers in this town.” He smoothed your hair back, “I saw your cafe punch card and put it together.” 

You sighed. You had no idea it was that easy. 

“My men also have been keeping their eyes on you. Didn’t want my princesa getting hurt now, hm?” 

You looked up at him suddenly feeling a bit more bold, “You ruined my Santiago Street raid!” 

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes playfully. 

You scrunched your brows, “I got in so much trouble for that!” You shoved him even though he still gripped your neck. 

He smirked, “I’m sorry baby.” He leaned forward but you shoved him again. 

“Arellano!” You chastised. 

He hummed. 

“Arellano, you gotta go.” You whined, “You can’t be here.” 

“Why not?” His eyes trained on your lips, “I like it here.” He looked hungry.

“Because!” You tried pushing him off again but he didn’t budge, “I’ll lose my job. They’re going to think I’m your informant.” You tried to wriggle out of his grasp, “My partner he’ll-“

“Your partner?” He gripped your hip in his other hand possessively. 

“Yeah, my partner.” You felt his thumb push past your waist band and rub warm circles into your hip bone making you stutter, “H-he’s going to n-notice.”

“Ramirez right?” He smiled wolfishly. 

You swallowed thickly praying this wouldn’t lead anywhere bad. You nodded a yes. He obviously already knew there is no point in lying.

“You like him princessa?” He asked. 

You shook your head no, “not like that.” 

Ramon smiled at that, “And what would Ramirez think if he saw you right now, hm?” His hand moved further up your belly pushing your shirt up as he felt your burning skin. 

“He’d t-think I’m a traitor.” You whimpered feeling Ramon’s hand cup your breast. You struggled to breathe feeling the heat spreading throughout your body. 

His touch was becoming rougher as he squeezed you through your bra making you gasp. You instinctually grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt. Before you could correct your actions, Ramon surged forwards and pressed his lips to yours. You melted immediately. He felt so good. All the memories of that night flooded back and you moaned into his mouth. 

He responded eagerly and shoved a knee between your legs only adding to the desperation. Your bodies melded together as the two of you pushed into each others clothes desperate to feel the other. 

You broke the kiss first trying to suck down air making him growl and surge forward again. He needed to be on you, he was addicted to it. With your hair like this and out of it’s slick bun, you looked just like you did that night. He couldn’t control himself. He deepened the kiss and pushed his tongue into your mouth feeling you get even more turned on. He felt your little hands on his chest, feeling the fabric of his shirt before you shoved it open and trailed your hands all over his firm chest. 

And then just like that, you snapped out of it. 

Breaking the kiss, you looked at him and reared your hand back before slapping the absolute dog shit out of him. 

His head whipped to the side and you immediately covered your mouth in shock you had just done that. 

Cursing yourself, your saucer eyes watched him turn back to face you as he felt where your hand had collided with his cheek. 

“I…I-“ You stuttered also in shock. Your words weren’t coming to you.

He narrowed his eyes and studied you for a second. Your heart raced and you were sure he was going to gut you like a fish for that. 

He took a step back to look at you, leaving you pressed up against the pantry. Then without a word, he leaned forwards and bent you over his shoulder before lifting you, and carrying you out of the kitchen and down the hall of your apartment towards your bedroom. 

You yelped as he threw you onto the mattress with a bounce. He was on you in a second with a fire like you hadn’t ever seen before. 

“R-Ramon-“ You tried to get the apology out, but he had his lips on you again clearly not interested in hearing it. You realized the slap had made him even more feral as he tore away at your clothes like he had that night high as fuck on pulse. The man was animalistic. 

He shredded your panties off, promising he’d buy you more. 

Ramon had every intention to keep seeing you, you realized. 

He wasted no time shoving your legs apart and diving in with his mouth. There was no lead up, he needed you on his tongue and he needed you now. The fantasy of it had plagued him for the past two weeks. 

You cried out feeling his hot tongue on your leaking pussy. Your hands went straight to his hair as he licked and sucked with ferocity. You thrashed and flailed with the intensity of it all. He had you on the brink of screaming with his no mercy approach to eating you out. He pinned your hips down not giving you an inch. 

“Ramon!” You cried out feeling your orgasm approaching. 

He just latched on harder refusing to let you go. He wanted to watch you fall apart. He needed it. Just as quickly as it it had started, it came to an end. You came as he licked up your orgasm ignoring the way you flinched from overstimulation. You quickly realized Ramon was one for taking what he wanted, and right now he wanted you to come as quickly as as hard as he could make you. 

He second he let you go, he started kissing up your thigh giving you a moment to recover. You panted heavily but wanted to feel him against you. He had too much clothing on. You had to change that. 

Sitting up, you pushed him back to paw at his shirt. He watched you with awe as your shaky fingers shoved the fabric from his shoulders. He hadn’t understood where this obsession was coming from. 

In front of him, you were all woman, but he knowledge that you were forbidden to him only made you so much more intriguing. None of the other girls in his social circle kept a death grip on his mind like you had. 

The Narco and the Cop. 

He liked the danger you provided.

You weren’t like any other woman he had ever come across. He knew after he had scaled the bricks of pulse and shimmied out of the vent windows, that he had to see you again. His boys told him you weren’t at your apartment and he had started to get impatient. The moment they confirmed you were in fact back home, he dropped everything to come here. 

You snapped him out of his thoughts when you pulled at his chains again. He bent down to push his nose into your hairline breathing in deep while you peeled his pants away from his body. When he was bare, he couldn’t help but shove you back into your plush pillows. He liked your bed much more than the hard concrete floor back in the distribution site. Your body glowed under the light of the moon coming from the window, and he dragged his fingers down you side admiring everything about you. 

“Pretty girl.” He muttered before knocking your knees apart and lining himself up. 

You gripped onto his biceps as he surged forward and stretched you open. He caught your moan in a kiss before slowly beginning to thrust feeling all too familiar. 

Unlike the night on pulse, he actually gave you some mercy. You grappled at his smooth and toned body as he picked up the pace. He was brutal and calculated, listening to every little noise you made he made sure to fuck you just how you liked. 

He was addicted to watching you come. 

He realized he’d do anything to hear you moan like you do. 

Then suddenly, with a burst of strength, you maneuvered him over onto his back with a swift shove. He looked up at you startled as you began to ride him with no abandon. None of the girls he has been with take charge like this. He thinks he likes it. Usually they just let him do whatever he wants. 

But not you... not his princesa.

Sliding his hands up your body, he cupped both of your tits and gave them a good squeeze making you cry out. You looked so pretty riding him. He couldn’t help but buck up into you watching your tits jiggle. 

“Arellano!” You moaned out clenching around him feeling your orgasm approaching. He then grabbed you by your neck and flipped you over onto your back pinning you in place. He drove down into you at a punishing pace living for every moment that you clenched viciously around him. 

“Come princesa.” He growled. 

“Fuck!” You threw your head back as you came. You nails dug into his back and arm throwing him over the edge. He bucked into you spilling himself inside your velvet walls with a grunt. 

He stayed on top of you for a moment before slowly sliding off to the side making the mattress bounce. Breathing heavily, you turned to look at him with those same doe eyes from two weeks ago. He was in trouble he reasoned. One look with those eyes and he’d be on his knees.

You ran your fingers over his dewy skin causing bumps to arise as he cooled down. The higher you went, you were met with his midnight eyes. He looked down at you and you swore you saw a moment of softness come from him. 

“Why me?” You were unable to hold the question in any longer, “Aren’t you supposed to stay far away from people like me?” 

He shrugged, “I don’t know.” 

He was being sincere. You could tell. You might be a new cop, but you could always tell when someone was lying. Maybe he’s attracted to the thrill. Riding on the edge of being caught by the police. Who knows? Maybe there’s still pulse in his system and he’s partially delirious. 

You sighed, “You’re making my life difficult you know.” 

He smiled, “What part?” 

“All of it.” You shook your head, “I should be arresting you, but instead you’re in my bed…naked.” 

He smirked, “Aressting me?” He crawled on top of you. “You want me in cuffs that bad baby? All you have to do it ask.” 

You huff, “That’s not what I meant.” 

“Sure princesa.” He squeezed your hips sending a chill through your body. 

You shove him playfully, “I’m serious.” 

“Well you’re off for the weekend, yeah?” He leaned over to the discarded clothes on the bed and pulled out a tiny envelope handing it to you. You took it and sat up to look inside. 

“Is this what I think it is?” You looked up at him with a raised brow. He nodded with a boyish grin. The hot pink powder inside the envelope was unmistakable. 

“Arellano… I am not doing drugs with you.” You put the envelope down, “I just spent the whole week busting my ass trying to get rid of this shit.” 

He nudged your cheek with his nose before planting a kiss to your forehead, “Just a little?” He then pressed another kiss to your neck and then another. 

“Arellano, I’m a cop for fucks sake.” You whimpered as his mouth suctioned to your delicate skin. He was marking you, you knew it. 

“You don’t have to be baby.” He purred using his weight to push you back into the pillows. 

“But-“ You moaned softly as he made his way down to your nipple and suctioned onto it, “I want to be.” 

“You want to be the good guy, huh?” He crooned moving to the other breast and repeating his actions. 

You moaned in response.

“You want to stop the big bad Narcos, don’t you princesa?” He moved his hands further down until he reached your pussy. Sliding his pointer through your wet and swollen folds, he settled on your clit and moved in very precise circles. You whined pathetically as the pleasure surged through you. 

“How about this baby,” He bit down gently on your nipple, “I have some very very bad men in my way and I’ll give you tips on their whereabouts as an apology for ruining your raid.” 

You shuttered as be brought you hurtling towards another orgasm. 

“And what do you want?” You heaved, “In return?” 

You were getting closer and closer to your release. 

He smirked and released your nipple to look you in the eye, his fingers never stopped until he saw your pupils dilate and you hurtled over the edge. 

“You.” 

[truly-deceitful]

Quackity referenced Infierno (2010) while talking about his "Primos"

And so, i decided to look for a resume of the movie and here are some quotes i think we should take in consideration:

"His mother and godfather tell Benny his younger brother was killed on strange circumstances, leaving his wife and son; not too long after, Benny meets them and feels attracted towards the widow Guadalupe Solís, making a promise in front of his brother's grave to help her and his nephew."

"Some time later, he meets his childhood friend Eufemio "El Cochiloco" Mata, who has become part of a drug cartel. Talking about it he finds out his brother worked along with him in the "Los Reyes del Norte" cartel, being known as Pedro "El Diablo" García, but he was killed by the rival cartel "Los Panchos"

"Benny asks Cochiloco for help and accepts joining the cartel where he meets the boss, [...]. He's accepted into the cartel, not before being reminded about the rules: Honesty, loyalty, and absolute silence."

If the movie he quoted has some use inside the lore we could see these quotes paralleling certain events in karmaland as well as get some clues onto who Quackity's "primos" are.

A promise in front of a grave that's Merlon Vegetta, that would mean in this chunk of the story Quackity could be representing Benny.

El "Chochiloco" which was the other name added into the book at the very end is stated as Benny's childhood friend which would mean that if Quackity was writting in code to prove his legitimacy he would reference something only both of them would know, an obscure mexican movie from the 2010´s

Benny asks Chochiloco for help and this is what we just saw in today's stream, which to me it means that the main reinforcement Quackity wants is only one person but the rest of his "primos" would be "Chochilocos" employees/cartel/etc.

So who are our options for Quackity's primos?

I think the best and most probable option is a group of NPC's just like the ones already inside Karmaland. Yes, i know this is not what we want to see, but while the other options are so much interesting it would definetly create a lot of problems for the moderators and the storyline so i do think i could be a group of NPC's. This would also tie into the very probable theory that contrary to popular belief K!Q and C!Q are not related in any way, or if they are C!Q would definetly be K!Q brother from another universe as it says in the second quote ". Talking about it he finds out his brother worked along with him in the "Los Reyes del Norte" cartel" (las nevadas is up north)

Second most probable option is that this would be the perfect time to get some TortillaLand cameos in Karmaland since the same moderator team manages both servers. Yes i know it has been said that it wouldnt be impossible but we shouldnt wait for it any time soon and i know for some reason K enjoyers and TL enjoyers dont get along but seeing characters like Spreen, Mariana or Juan would definitely bring some cool shakeups in the story without breaking it to much. We could even argue that they could appear without them being their TL characters just like how it is canon that Rubius' and Luzu's characters in TL are different people.

Third option: Foolish Gamers, this would finally tie up weather or not K!Q and C!Q are the same person, Quackity did mention sevral times that he needed his primos to help him builld and what does foolish do? build. It wouldnt be to crazy to believe this theory since in the DSMP it is canon that Foolish and Quackity are close and have a boss/worker kind of lighthearted dynamic which i definetley would believe Quackity made Foolish watch is favorite mexican movie at least five times. He prolly wouldnt understand jack shit except for that Benny and Chochiloco reference and be like "oh ok thats Big Q"

Another thing to back this theory is that Foolish WAS actually invited by the TortillaLand folk to join the server but he declined (bc he didnt know spanish) cause he didnt know anyone in the server. but in Karmaland he knows Quackity.

this is a theory a game theory please tell me who u think it is im loosing my goddamn hair over this.

[seiyasabi]

Fixation

(This is a Yandere Yelena x Fem Reader story ;)) This takes place in a Modern AU outside of the anime, and I won’t justify my reasoning lmao 

TW: Coercion, !Drugging!, Manipulation, !Noncon!, !Dubcon!, Daddy kink (ehehe), spanking, she’s a straight up Dom w her tall ass, kinda a meanie, degradation!, handcuffs!, use of sex toys!, Overstim!, size kink!, dumbification?, unwanted filming!, etc.. 

Proceed with caution! Sorry if this is too self indulgent lmao, when women (lesbians) talk to me, I become the biggest idiot to ever exist :)) ) 

Today wasn’t the best day to wear a skirt. 

Begrudgingly smoothing down the lilac fabric of your skirt, you huff indignantly. All you wanted to do was look cute for your crush, Marco, but it seems that that was too much to ask for. 

Your white sweater, at least, keeps you somewhat warm from the harsh wind. It’s tucked into the waistband of your high waisted skirt, and your thigh high socks push the fat of your cute thighs out slightly. The sound of your white sneakers against the pavement is drowned out by your classmates’ loud voices, and you’re seemingly unaware of a certain black-eyed glare. 

Seeing your classroom come into view, you hurry inside, sliding into your lab assigned seat. Eyeing the dark haired male of your dreams, you can’t help but sigh pathetically at the fact that he hasn’t noticed you. Up until recently, the two of you were great friends-always hanging out and texting one another. But, the moment the both of you picked up this class, everything changed. 

Hearing the seat next to you slide open, you glance up at your seatmate. Smiling up at the tall woman, you greet her kindly, “Hi, Lena! How’re you today?” 

The Russian exchange student smirks down at you, as she plops onto the seat, “Good, now that you’re here.” 

Laughing at her gruff words, you wave her off, “You always say that,” Zipping open your backpack, you pull out your class notes, “What’re you going to do this weekend?”

Her smirk widens, dark eyes gleaming, “Why? Asking me on a date?” You laugh once more, completely oblivious to her hopeful tone. 

“You’re so funny, Lena,” Pulling out your pack of multicoloured pens, you start to set up for your class, “I just heard you speaking with Annie about ‘something big’ the other day, so I became curious.” 

Not one to acknowledge boundaries, the blonde woman starts to play with your (hair/sweater), “I’m throwing a party, one you should come to,” Her tone leaves no room to negotiate, but you don’t really notice. Nodding, you smile up at her. 

“Sounds fun! When is it and who’s going?” Her hand trails down to your thigh, fiddling with your sock. Brushing off your mild alarm at her ministrations, you justify her actions through your cultural differences. 

“Tonight at eight. Annie and her friends should be there, same with Marco and a few others,” She name dropped the kind man on purpose, knowing your misguided infatuation with him. If only you knew how much of a pussy he is. All she did was threaten him once, and suddenly he stayed clear of you. It made her life easier, sure, but it annoyed her that he dropped you like a gutted fish. You’re too good for that. 

Pulling out your phone, you pull up your calendar, showcasing that you have no plans this evening, “Okay, I can go!” 

Her smirk grows wider than before, “Great,” Yelena’s accent seemingly grows thicker, her r rolling more harshly than before. 

With that, class begins without a hitch; Yelena’s hand still glued to your perfect thigh. 

-

Stepping out of your car, you readjust your new outfit. Keeping the thigh highs from earlier, you changed your lilac skirt for a black, body con one, along with a cropped, black long sleeve shirt that accentuates your cleavage. 

Slamming your car door shut, you lock it with your key, before heading towards Yelena’s luxurious flat. You can hear low music and voices from her open top floor balcony, multiple shadows moving inside her home. 

With a fast beating heart, you can’t help but hope that Marco will speak with you tonight. With that hope deep in your chest, you step inside the fancy building’s lobby. Approaching the front desk, you go to show them your ID, but are met with brightly smiling faces. 

“Go on up to the tenth floor, (Your Name)! Yelena already told us that you’re coming!” Surprise overcomes your form. Why do they know you by appearance alone? You’ve never even been here before. 

“Oh, okay! Thank you,” Deciding to ignore the weird situation at hand, you head towards the lift. Pressing the button, you wait a few moments, before stepping into the open lift doors. The sleek metal walls reflect your appearance back at you, whilst you press the pristine ‘10’ button. With a small beep, the lift begins to move, practically flying at top speed to the top floor. 

Once at the tenth floor, the doors fly open, showing what looks to be a living room. You can’t help but gawk at the large flat displayed before you. Your classmate must be quite wealthy to afford a place like this. 

You awkwardly make your way inside, and are immediately greeted by the party’s host, “Hey, (Your Name), welcome!” You’re side hugged by a buff arm, practically slammed into Yelena’s torso. 

“Hey, thanks for having me!” You pat her back in an attempt to have her let you go, but instead, it seems to spur her on. She drags you towards a large L-shaped couch, which is filled by Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt. A handful of others sit at her dining room table and kitchen counter, the open concept allowing everyone to see and speak to each other comfortably. 

Reiner glances up from the story he’s telling Historia and Ymir, a grin painting his handsome features, “Whoa, that’s a new look for you, (Your Name)!” 

Multiple eyes are suddenly glued to your now self conscious form, an uneasy smile on your face, “Hello, everyone.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you look great! It’s just really different from your normal, cute clothes,” People nod and agree with the large man, causing you to break out in a nervous sweat. 

“Well, I hope I don’t look too bad,” You joke halfheartedly, “I just wanted to try something new.” 

Yelena takes your appearance in, practically salivating. Whilst she does enjoy your usual clothing, this look fits you quite well. 

“You look very nice,” Bertholdt reassures soothingly, patting the spot by him, “You can sit next to me, if you’d like.”

The short haired woman glued to your side reacts immediately, “No, the girl needs a drink,” Annie shoots her a knowing look, which she nods to in response. You’re practically ragdolled to the kitchen bar, as the conversation starts up once more. Once at the marble countertop, the large woman releases you in favour of pouring you a cup of spiked punch, “This is very good. Made it myself.” 

You give her a bright smile, accepting the red solo cup, “Cool! I’m sure it’s delicious!” Bringing the cup to your (lipstick/chapstick/lipgloss) coated lips, you take a small sip. A burst of fruity goodness explodes on your tastebuds, making your eyes widen in surprise. You can’t taste a drop of alcohol in it, “Wow! This is really good!” 

A proud grin overtakes her lips, as she nods her thanks, “Of course it is. I knew you were coming, after all,” You laugh in response, and take another sip of the red liquid. 

“I see! Well, you have a very nice home!” The tall woman leans against the counter, holding herself up with an arm that goes behind your form. 

“Thank you. It’s very spacious. I find myself lonely at times,” Her large, black eyes stare down at you, trying to send you a message through them alone. 

“Oh, well, have you tried getting a roommate? Maybe the flat won’t be so empty,” She nods at your words. 

“Yes, that’s a good idea. Would you be my roommate?” You laugh, thinking that she’s joking. Not bothering to look up, as you take another swig of your drink, you don’t see the somewhat hurt look on her face. 

“That would be something! Not only are we seatmates, but we’re also roommates,” You giggle some more, taking more sips of your delicious drink, “But, your flat is a lot nicer than mine. I may take up on your offer.”

Looking up, you see her grin at you approvingly, “Yes, that would be nice,” What you don’t know is that her lease is almost up, making it so she has paperwork she needs to fill out. Paperwork that would look great with your co-sign on it. 

-

Three drinks in, and you’re feeling a bit woozy. Typically, you’re not a lightweight, but it seems that you are tonight. 

Leaning your upper body onto Yelena’s strong form, you laugh hysterically at something Reiner says, “Oh my God, you’re hilarious-” You cut yourself off with a snort, causing the entire room to laugh at your cute giggling. 

The short haired woman you’re currently using as a pillow holds you tenderly, a pleased smile on her face. The stuff Annie gave her works very well. 

“Man, if you weren’t Yelena’s girl, I would’ve cuffed you a semester ago!” Reiner roars wholeheartedly, slapping the leather couch below him. 

In your cloudy mind, you barely understand the words he just said, “Haha, wha-?” 

Pushing your head into her breasts, Yelena shushes you, “My poor baby is such a lightweight,” She and the others chuckle at that understatement, “I think it’s time to turn in for the night.”

Her civil way of kicking everyone out was enough, as everyone trickles out of her luxurious flat. Once the last person leaves, Yelena stands to her feet, scooping you up in her buff arms. She goes to her lift, pressing the lock input, she types in the lock code, not allowing anyone in or out of her home. Your high mind can barely comprehend what’s going on around you. 

She hums an unknown tune, as she goes up her steps to her master bedroom. Kicking open the door, she flips on her bedroom light with her elbow, before shutting the door with her foot. Sauntering to her California King sized bed, she lays your drugged out form on her light grey coloured sheets. 

“-Lena, wha-” Your head lulls to the side as you giggle uncontrollably, “-Are- are we dating?” She hums in response, starting to pull down your skirt. 

“Yes, my Darling Girl,” She smooches your forehead, “We’ve been together since I moved here,” Pulling your skirt’s fabric down and off of your legs, she tosses it on the floor, exposing your pink panties. 

“Bu-but, I like Marco,” You weakly attempt to push her grabby hands away from you, “I-I wan’ Marco!” 

The feelings of disgust, envy, and fury overwhelm her all at once. How dare you! She’s always treated you so well, that spineless fucker doesn’t deserve anything from you! He especially doesn’t deserve your wonderful heart! 

She says nothing, grabbing your blouse, and chucking it off of you. Your breasts jiggle at her ministrations, your bra just barely containing your tits. Seeing your almost bare, perfect body makes her pussy tingle, but her anger outweighs her arousal. 

Settling on the bed, she grasps your boneless body, and pulls you over her knees. You’re still muttering and questioning the validity of your relationship, all whilst saying that horrible boy’s name, causing her to cup the fat of your ass and squeeze harshly. 

“Baby, you know better than to say those horrible things. I love you very much, and it hurts to hear you say that.” 

Your breasts, arms, and head rest over her left knee, as you try to look up at her stern face, “But-”

“No buts, you know what happens when you act like a brat,” She slaps your ass experimentally, earning a pained yelp. A small smirk covers her lips, and she hits your ass as hard as she can. 

“‘M sorry! ‘M sorry! I didn’t mean it!” Your pleading is cute, so cute. 

“I know you didn’t, Princess. But I have to remind you of your place,” She slams her hand down once more, jolting your entire body. A shrill cry leaves your lips, as you try to move off of her lap, but seemingly can’t find the strength to do so. 

After five more smacks, the blonde pulls you onto her lap in a straddling position. One of her arms wraps around your top half, pushing your crying face into her neck. The other is wrapped around your waist, hand smoothing over your bruising ass, and playing with the hem of your panties. 

“Don’t cry, Princess. You know I had to set you straight,” She coos, “Your stupid, little brain is far too gone to understand at the moment, but you will once you sober up. So, for now, let your Daddy make you feel good.” 

You mutter nonsensical words in between your sobs, but the large woman isn’t put off. After she’s done with you, you’ll never think of that freckled fuck ever again. At least, you won’t unless you want him dead. 

Wrestling your pliant body to the mattress once more, she leaves you on the bed by yourself, before rolling onto the left side. Opening the top drawer of her nightstand, she pulls out a pair of handcuffs, a battery powered hitachi wand, duct tape, and a small bottle of lube. Setting them on the bed by your writhing form, she quickly makes her way back to you. 

“Shh, it’s alright, Princess. I’m right here,” Yelena reaches under you, fiddling with your bra’s hooks until it pops open, allowing her to slide your useless arms out of the garment. Tossing it aside, she sucks in a deep breath, enjoying the view of your plush chest. Experimentally, she pinches your right nipple, relishing the small moan you let out at the feeling. Gripping the handcuffs next to you, she feeds your dainty wrists through the opening, popping the pink, plush cuffs on tightly. Happy with the result, she continues her endeavour. 

Moving farther down your body, she leaves your socks on, loving how your thigh fat squishes up a bit. Grabbing the hem of your cute, pink panties, she pushes them off of you, exposing your pretty cunny. It separates from you with a small string of slick, filling Yel with a sense of satisfaction. You’re her perfect pain slut, aren’t you? 

Pushing on your pliant legs open, she smiles happily down at you, dark eyes blown wide open, “Awe, is your slutty pussy wet for me?” 

You shake your head rapidly, disorienting yourself more than before, “Nu-no! It’s not!” She clicks her tongue teasingly, her smile growing wider than before. 

“Don’t lie to me, Princess. Now I have to punish you once more,” Forcing your legs open, she holds them down with her own, straddling your waist. Her large form easily overpowers you, as she grabs the blue hitachi wand, and flips it on to the highest setting. Pushing it against your clit with a swift motion, your entire body jolts at the sudden stimulation. A loud whine leaves your lips, as you try to buck it off of your sensitive cunny. 

“Puh-please! Take it off! It’s too much!” Yelena snickers in delight, ignoring your pleading. Grabbing the duct tape from beside you, she rips off a few long strips, before smacking them onto your skin and the vibrator, effectively keeping it attached to you. 

Your moans and whimpers continue to grow louder and louder, as you try your best not to cum. You bite your lips in the hopes of stifling yourself, but it does little to help. If anything, it just spurs the large woman on. 

“Go on, cum for me, cum for Daddy,” You shake your head, a few keens falling from your mouth, as she watches in awe at the way your cunny leaks and clenches around nothing. 

Your toes curl in ecstasy as you cum, a loud whine escaping you. A gush of your orgasm flows from you, wetting the blonde woman and the mattress below. Two long, slender fingers prod at your slick pussy, forcing themselves inside your sensitive walls. 

“Good Girl, You’re so Good for me,” They Start to move in a ‘come hither’ motion, hitting your g-spot repeatedly with how long her fingers are.  

“Too much! Too much!” You cry, as she quickly brings you over the edge once more. 

More slick sprays from your cunny, as overstimulation begins to set in. Yelena captures your lips with hers, thrusting her tongue into your mouth. The kiss is wet and hot, as she grips at your plush chest. 

“No, no it’s not, Baby. It’s not enough,” Fumbling with her fly, she releases the strap she’s been wearing all night. In all honesty, she’s surprised that you hadn’t noticed the bulge or felt it underneath your ass earlier. It’s a good ten inches in length, and around 5.5 inches of girth. 

It is pretty intimidating for most, but due to your fucked out stupor, it should feel amazing for you. Grabbing the lube, she squeezes a small amount onto the silicone cock, smoothing it over the toy in sync with her fingers pumping inside of you. 

Deeming the toy and your cunny ready, she makes the next move. Sliding off of your numb legs, she stands to her feet, towering over you in all of her glory. Hefting you up and off of the mattress, she quickly punched your back against her pristine, white wall. Forcing your arms around the back of her head, she continues to kiss your drooly mouth vigorously. 

Wrapping your legs around her slender waist, her large leg muscles and arms work to hold you up. Guiding your dripping cunny over the tip of her strap, she slowly sinks you onto it. 

A keen of both surprise and pleasure rips out of your throat, as you grip onto her short, blonde locks. Giggling, she bucks her hips into yours sharply, causing you to orgasm on the spot. The vibrator and her strap on feels like heaven. 

Throwing your head back in bliss, you feel your arousal drip onto her dress pants, creating even more wet spots than before. Separating from your lips, she grins down at you. 

“Look at you, dirty Girl,” She spanks your ass harshly with one hand, as she continues a hardcore pace. The tip of the silicone cock batters against your cervix, causing you to cry out in both pleasure and pain, “You love it when Daddy ruins your pussy, don’t you?” 

Too fucked out to think properly, you nod your head vigorously, “Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I love Daddy’s cock!” She kisses your cheek tenderly, not stopping her thrusts for even a moment. Moving her lips down your vulnerable neck, she starts to suck the tender skin, leaving dark love marks on your pretty skin. 

“Mmm, good Princess! Since you’re such a good girl, I think you deserve a treat. Do you want a treat? Does your dumb little mind even understand what I’m saying?” You nod once again, eyes teary and pleading. 

“Yes! Yes! I want a treat, please, Daddy!” Smirking against your skin, she reaches into her pocket from around your thigh. 

“Since you asked so nicely-“ She presses the injector lever, shooting a large load of fake cum into your gummy, needy pussy. You cum almost immediately, this clearly being the biggest orgasm of the night, as you practically convulse and squirt a geyser of cum all over the place, “I think you deserve Daddy’s cum inside you.” 

You practically sob at the overstimulation and the feeling of being so full, “Thank you! Thank you, Daddy!” You kiss her of your own volition, surprising the large woman. Her heart warms, loving how you’ve become so submissive. 

Cradling you’re form to her muscular body, she saunters back towards the bed, pushing any other objects off and into the night side table. 

Placing you on the now dry sheets, she quickly flicks off the vibrator still taped to your clit, before placing it on the table beside her. Plucking off the duct tape, she then takes off your handcuffs, effectively freeing you. Instead of moving away from the woman, you lay there tiredly, no longer processing the situation. 

Sighing in content, Yelena grabs a hand towel from the drawer she keeps her sex toys in, and wrestles it under your hips. Smiling, she removes the strap from inside of you, enjoying the sight of the fake cum flooding out of you. 

Laying next to you, she pulls your head into her chest, curling around you as if she were a safety blanket. 

“You did well, Princess,” You don’t say anything, snuggling into her warmth, “Go to sleep, tomorrow we’ll announce our official status, okay?” 

An slurred ‘Okie’ is heard, before you slip into unconsciousness. Cupping your face in appreciation, her dark eyes glance in the direction of a small green light coming from her video camera. 

Now you’ll have to date her; after all, you wouldn’t want your sex tape to get out, would you? 

[silversatoru]

Ok ok- don’t judge me but get this- College AU, Where Ereh and his friends all go to a nearby maid cafe and turns out his s/o works there, and his s/o is wearing a EXTREMELY short maid outfit and she starts to flirt with Eren’s friends, and basically Eren had enough and dragged his s/o to a bathroom stall, and fucked them calling y/n their little slut, etc. and fucked them so hard they couldn’t work the rest of the day- BYE- 🏃🏻‍♀️ 💨 🚪

maid cafe

a/n: i would never judge you for this???? your mind is incredible and this idea has corrupted my brain for days,, please send more of your wonderful ideas to my inbox. and please let me know what u think bc i truly hope i did u proud

eren yeager x female maid cafe!reader

synopsis: eren and his friends go to a maid cafe and his new girlfriend is their waitress — so he drags her to the bathroom and makes sure she knows who she belongs to

tags/warnings: smut, dom/sub, degrading, mild humiliation, mirror sex, public sex, mentions of drug use

word count: 3.4k

“hey, we should check out that maid cafe downtown. i heard the waitresses are fine,” jean smirked as he proposed the idea, passing a blunt he’d just finished rolling over to eren.

eren graciously accepted the weed, but clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at jean’s new idea for their friday night. a maid cafe wasn’t particularly up his alley -- he’d just started dating you a few weeks ago and didn’t have any interest in drooling over other women all night. but he was bored and if everyone else wanted to go, he supposed he’d tag along too.

“hell yeah, pretty girls in short skirts sounds good to me,” connie jived, a giddy smile on his face as he blew out some smoke from his own blunt.

“don’t you think that kind of place is a little disrespectful, guys? we shouldn’t view women as-”

“you’re too uptight armin, maybe we can find a nice girl to suck you off and loosen you up a little bit” jean laughed and cut him off as the blonde boy continued to give his immature friends a disapproving look.

“whatever i’m in, just let me finish this first,” eren held up his blunt and took another long drag, “i wont be able to stand you assholes all night if im not high”.

the four of them hung around their shared four-bedroom college apartment a little longer, finishing up their smoke sesh and flinging half-assed insults at one another. the sky was already getting dusky by the time they actually left and were walking through the small, bustling town surrounding their campus. the cafe wasn’t too far, maybe a thirty minute walk, but it was a beautiful spring night and shit, gas is expensive.

armin’s face was horribly flushed when they finally arrived and entered the front door, the poor boy completely unable to even make eye contact with the hostess standing in front of them. his shyness earned him a swift elbow from eren — his way of telling the blonde boy to relax a little bit.

the young hostess spoke to them in a sing-song tone, her hair perfectly curled to frame her face and her cheeks pink with blush. connie and jean completely ate up everything she was doing, gawking at her like a bunch of losers who hadn’t gotten laid in way too long — which is exactly what they were. eren was almost relieved when she finally sat them at a table and walked away, because he couldn’t stand to listen to jeans' horrendous attempt at flirting any longer.

everything on the menu had cute names that matched the theme of the cafe, and while eren and armin browsed the options, connie and jean continued to whisper about the different waitresses and which one they hoped they got.

as for you, it had been a pretty uneventful night, normal customers and nothing too crazy — that was until you walked up to the newest table you were assigned and saw your boyfriend and his friends sitting around the booth. eren and you hadn’t been dating all that long, a few weeks at most, and you hadn’t even met any of these friends yet. anxiety began to pool in your chest, but you tried your best to put on your best voice and greet them like they were any other table — after all, eren was staring so intently at the menu that he hadn't even noticed you yet.

“welcome home, masters! can i get any drinks for you?” you push your voice up to a high octave and make sure to draw out the word masters — it was the opening line that every waitress was required to use by the cafe.

two of the four boys are ogling at you so intensely that they might as well have drool hanging off their desperate lips. a third boy is keeping his eyes fixated on the table as if he doesn’t want to look at you — which is something you’re not quite used to. and eren is staring at you with his mouth gaping open, which he quickly shuts before any of his friends can notice.

he decided to sit back and watch, an amused look on his face as you continue to flaunt your extra-girly facade. he decides that now isn’t a great time for introductions to his bonehead friends — plus he knows you’re nothing like this in real life, so it’s entertaining to watch you act so out of character.

not to mention you look hot as fuck in your skimpy maid outfit — the tight corset-like top hugged your breasts perfectly and your skirt was so short he could practically see the base of your ass cheeks. he could definitely get used to seeing you like this.

but his amusement quickly started to fade as connie and jean shamelessly showered you in compliments and flirted with you like their lives depended on it. and what makes it worse is you’re playing along — he gets that it’s your job but still, can’t you just tell them to shut the fuck up?

he shoots the two idiots across from him a dirty look as soon as you walk away, “hey dumbasses, cut the girl a break”.

“hey man, i didn't hear you call dibs or anything,” connie raised an eyebrow at him.

“yeah dude, we’re just fucking around, chill,” jean added, a light laugh hanging off his last word.

eren couldn’t do anything but roll his eyes in response. he didn’t want to outright expose your relationship yet but he wouldn’t be able sit here and watch this all night either.

his blood was practically boiling when you returned with a tray full of their drinks. connie and jean turned their charms right back on for you, and fuck, if he had to hear you call them “master” one more time he was gonna lose his mind.

“armin get the fuck out of the booth,” he glared at the blonde boy, practically pushing him out of the booth so he could get to you.

armin yet out a small yelp, clambering out of his seat and letting eren climb out after him. the dark haired boy gave you the sweetest smile, but his eyes were lit up like flames.

“hey, mind showing me where the bathrooms are?”

you find yourself frozen in place for just a second, but quickly recover and give him a quick “of course master, follow me!”

the two of you walk to the bathroom in silence, but you can practically feel the heat radiating off of eren.

when you reached the restrooms you opened the door for him and bowed your head, but he grabbed your wrist and yanked you inside behind him, earning a small yelp from you. you noticed him snap the lock down behind him, and before you could even question his motives you were backed into a wall with his lips working roughly against yours.

“so this is what you do all day? walk around with your ass hanging out while calling people master?” he growled in your ear while moving down towards your neck and placing violent kisses along the sensitive skin.

“i- ah- if it bothers you-“ you breath out between gasps, your hands pressed defensively to his chest, “god, you reek of pot, eren”.

“no, it doesn't bother me, i love watching you flirt with other men. but let me remind you who you actually belong to now,” he murmured, voice dripping with sarcasm as he nibbled up to your ear and his hands fondled with the zipper at the back of your uniform.

“eren!” a strangled yelp leapt from your throat as he unzipped you and let your costume fall around your ankles.

for a second you thought about trying to stop him, but his hot lips against your cool skin was starting to win you over. your neck was undoubtedly covered in bruised love marks now, your skin aching in the most beautiful way.

“take it all off,” he mumbled into your ear as he snapped the strap of your bra against your skin.

“we’re in a bathroom eren, i don’t-“ you tried to reason with him, but any inkling of a rational thought was long gone from his mind.

“what’s with all the protests? you had no problem following orders when my friends were the ones giving them,” he cocked an eyebrow at you and lifted his loose shirt over his head in one swift motion.

you could have retorted or made a jab back at him, but your attention was caught up in the perfect lines of eren’s physique. between the sculpted curves of each of his muscles, his dark hair tied in a loose knot at the base of his neck, and the evil smirk across his lips, you were rendered indefensible. everything about eren was so intoxicating, and the idea of letting him have his way with you right now, in this bathroom, was starting to sound less and less like a bad idea. you weren’t sure how long you’d been staring and admiring when his lusty voice filled your ears again.

“did you forget how to use that pretty mouth of yours? i’m sure i can give you a little refresher,” he faked a frown and pointed to the floor with his index finger.

without a shred of reluctance you sunk to his feet. he had you in a state of utter compliance now, and all he had to do was mutter a few arrogant words and take off his shirt — you were almost ashamed, almost.

after a few smooth movements of his fingers against the drawstrings of his sweats, the tip of his member was hanging mere centimeters from your face. you glanced up at him with giant eyes as he stared down at you with his clouded ones. between his raging hunger for your body and the high that was still clouding his mind, there wasn't a single coherent thought in eren’s head other than the way your lips would feel wrapped around his cock.

“open up, princess. if you wanna act like a slut, i’ll treat you like one,” he grabbed the back of your head and forced it forward.

your lips parted without even thinking, and he thrusted his full length down your throat without any warning. you were left coughing and sputtering, the walls of your throat constricting against his cock and sending a few curses from his lips.

he slowed down slightly after that, but kept a steady pace as he mouth-fucked you until tears were leaking down your cheeks. you were gagging and coughing and your face was stained with salty saline but you loved every second of it. his head rolled back as raspy grunts fell from between his teeth, his fist tightening at your scalp.

after he thought you’d finally had enough he pulled back and released your hair from his steel grip. his cock was aching now, coated in a thick layer of your sticky saliva and yearning for more.

“get on the counter,” he ordered, and you scrambled to your feet in a way that was embarrassingly desperate.

you boosted yourself up onto the cool countertop, positioned perfectly between two sinks and leaning back against the mirror. eren placed a firm grip on each of your legs, shoving them open and snickering at the slick patch of fabric between your thighs.

“you like being treated like a whore, don’t you?” he clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and reached down at your panties before yanking them off in one fell swoop.

he squatted down so his face was level with your cunt, sticking out his tongue and dragging it up to your clit with antagonizing slowness. he moved the warm muscle up and down, sliding it between your folds and in circles around your clit — but his tongue was just barely making contact. and every time you bucked your hips towards him, begging and yearning for just a little more he’d pull his head back and click his tongue at you.

you were aching, leaking, and so incredibly needy for him and he knew it. he’d transformed you into the crumpled mess laying before him in a matter of minutes, and he was very proud of it.

“i’d start begging if i were you, or i’ll leave you here like this — a stupid broken slut with no one to fuck her,” he stood up and cocked his head to the side before beginning to tease your entrance with a single finger.

“ah- eren, please! i’ll do whatever you want,” you whimpered at him, a pitiful look on your face.

“eren? you know you’re not supposed to call customers by their name here,” he shook his head, “you’ll have to do better than that”.

“please- master, use me however you want. just please fuck me already”.

that seemed to suffice for eren, because after that it didn’t take long for him to shealth himself inside you and have your sweaty back slamming into the glass mirror behind you. strangled moans and pitiful whimpers slipped from between your lips, your eyes rolling back into your head in complete bliss. he’d teased and tormented you for so long that the sudden intense stimulation was almost too much.

he fucked himself into you so hard you thought you might break — your legs ached and your back hurt from awkwardly leaning into the mirror. but those feelings were quickly pushed to the back of your head because the overwhelming pleasure was so forceful that you could barely focus on anything else. eren’s length was grinding deep into your aching caverns so good that it was completely clouding your brain.

you let out a stifled gasp when he abruptly pulled out, leaving you feeling empty and aching for more.

“why-,” your voice was so destitute and so, so desperate.

“shut up and stand in front of me,” he commanded, pulling you off the counter and twisting you so you were facing the bathroom mirror.

“look at yourself in the mirror and watch me fuck you,” he practically snarled, placing a palm on your back and pushing your chest down against the counter, “look at how much of a slut you are for me”.

the only response that came out of your mouth was a tiny whine of acceptance — it was pathetic.

a breathy moan fell from your lips as he slid back in, and your cheeks blushed a dark shade of red as you watched yourself get fucked from behind. it was embarrassing, humiliating even, having to see yourself like this, but what made it even worse was that you fucking liked it.

“look at yourself,” he nodded towards the mirror, picking up his pace and tightening his grip on your hips, “just a dumb whore who’s good for nothing but taking orders from other people”.

“only- you!” you let out a strangled yelp.

“what was that? i don’t think i heard you,” he thrusted hard, reaching deeper than he had the entire time and then leaning over your back so his head was positioned right next to yours.

“say it again,” he murmured, burning holes through your eyes with how intensely he was staring at you in the mirror.

“i’m a dumb whore, but only for- you,” you repeated, squirming and whining at the painful pleasure he was forcing into you.

“that’s right,” he flashed you a satisfied grin, standing back up and resuming his original pace.

the sudden shift had you clawing at the smooth countertops — desperately wishing you had a pillow or sheet to grasp onto for some kind of support. you flinched when you felt a couple of his cool fingertips find your clit, immediately rubbing hasty circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“i want you to come for me,” he locked eyes with you in the mirror again, “and i want you to think about how i’m the only one who will ever make you feel this good the entire time”.

his words were harsh but they sounded like honey when they flowed through your pathetically devoted ears. between his consistent thrusts and the pads of his fingers working their magic, you were a pitiful mess of whimpers and moans in a matter of minutes. your body twitching and legs shaking as you mumbled his name over and over — it was the only word your brain could comprehend right now.

seeing you like that nearly pushed eren over the edge himself, but he forced himself to last a little longer, wanting to milk your orgasm for everything that it was. he was genuine when he said no one else would ever make you feel the way he could — your head was spinning and your body was on a high that felt like it would never end.

only once your body finally fell limp and tired, signifying that your climax had ended, did he pull out and spray his seed all over your exposed back. you were a sticky, sweaty mess and your legs didn’t have the strength to stand even after eren was done coming down from his own high.

your face was buried in your arms when you felt a wet paper towel cleaning up the mess of semen off your back. eren tossed the towel into the garbage and wrapped his arms under your torso so he could help your pitiful self stand up. you let out a few pained whimpers, stumbling into his arms and wrapping your hands around his neck.

“that bad, huh? how are you gonna go back out there and work for all your masters? i’m sure they’re waiting,” he smirked at you, and there was no sympathy in his voice.

“i- i don’t think i can,” you whined, clinging to him as your legs continued to shake underneath you.

eren shook his head and clicked his tongue, helping you over to your clothes and assisting you with getting back into your uniform. even after getting dressed your legs refused to work — you were a shaky, stumbling mess. you sat in a pitiful heap against the tiled wall while you watched eren get his own clothes back on.

“i think you might need a new job,” he snickered, squatting down and lifting you onto his back once he was dressed.

you graciously climbed onto his back, arms wrapping around his neck and burying your face into his neck, “yeah, yeah i’ll get a new job”.

“good idea, because everyone’s about to see how pathetic you are as we walk through the cafe,” he wrapped his arms back under your backside to support your weight.

“there’s a back exit right down the hall, please take that one,” you begged, “please”.

“well. since you asked so nicely and did so well i guess you deserve that,” he complied, exiting the bathroom and following your directions to the back door.

but because you have the worst luck in the world, one of the cafe managers came walking right around the corner just as the two of you were about to leave. you buried your head deeper into eren’s neck, unbearable amounts of embarrassment and shame flooding your veins.

“hey man, she quits, sorry!” eren yelled and handled it for you, dashing out the back door before the manager could even comprehend what he’d just seen.

“thank you,” you mumbled into his shirt, and you were truly thankful that you didn’t have to speak for yourself in there.

“no problem, princess,” he adjusted one of his hands so he could squeeze your ass, making you jump against his back, “let’s head back to my house for round two, yeah?”

“r-round two?” you stuttered.

you could barely handle round one, and he was ready to go again? how!?

“i’m joking, relax. let’s go watch a movie or something,” he chuckled, hoisting you higher on his back and beginning your long walk back to his apartment.

you sighed and sunk into his back, that sounded nice. there was a huge difference in how eren acted earlier and how he was acting now, but you were a sucker for both personalities. you expected college to consist of classes and work and maybe a few new friends but meeting eren yeager was sure to make it a lot more interesting.

[sweetbitterimpossiblecreature]

A Brief And Concise Summary Of Is Wrong With The ACOTAR Series

I think we can agree that a lot of ACOTAR is pretty iffy. Consider this a very brief refresher.

What's Wrong With Feyre/Rhysand (juxtaposed against Feyre/Tamlin)

Rhysand drugs and sexually assaults her in Book 1

This is "for her own good". Because he "has no choice". Despite the fact that, from what we know of the plot, Amarantha thinks that Clare Beddor was the one Rhysand was diddling, and is only interested in Feyre because Rhysand, "her" man male, has taken an interest in her.

If we extrapolate from this we can figure that Rhysand is the one directly putting her into danger.

Now, let's be clear: drugging someone is bad. Sexually assaulting someone is bad. One could argue there were extenuating circumstances. But if, in such a situation, what your mind goes to is "I know, I should assault this person... for their safety" I have questions about your moral qualities. There were a million things he could have done. He could have done whatever he did to Clare - that is, remove her ability to feel any pain - easily. He could have helped her escape. Under The Mountain, he - while still there unwillingly - has a lot of power, as Amarantha's side piece. Maybe this would have resulted in him being punished- however, he is hundreds of years old and a badass motherfucker, and she is a nineteen year old human girl.

Now, onto Tamlin. Obviously not a lot of people really ship F/T anymore after ACOMAF, because compared to F/R, it's boring. I read another person's post about it, which was very enlightening: they said that Feyre's personality is essentially a mirror. When she is with Rhysand, she's snarky and malicious- because she is "bouncing off" his energy. When she's with Mor she's super feminist and "in awe of her strength". On the other hand, Tamlin is kind of an empty character. He's a pretty boy with anger issues, which should be more interesting than it is. SJM manages to make him bland. Because Feyre has nothing to bounce off of, (a lot of this is from the person's post), she and Tamlin together is mainly just him introducing her to his world.

What Tamlin Does: prevents a skinny twenty year old from going on dangerous missions with him and combat-trained soldiers, accidentally blows up a room with her in it, and, at the end, prevents her from leaving the house.

This is not a Tamlin apologist post. Obviously it was really fucking gross of him to do that, and their relationship was toxic. However, a lot of his abuse stems from their inability to communicate, as well as own negligence. He does not knowingly and purposefully sexually assault her or rape her mind. And tbh, leaving a girl without combat training at home while he goes on missions with a bunch of muscled sentries is... kind of reasonable?

Again: not a Tamlin apologist post. It was abuse. However, if Rhysand is "allowed" to sexually assault, mind-rape, and drug Feyre "for her own safety", why is Tamlin demonized for preventing her from leaving his mansion "for her own safety"?

Another pertinent point: Rhys is never punished for sexually assaulting her. It is brushed off as part of his "mask" or that his hand was forced. Jesus Christ my dudes, his hand was not forced under her skirt. If he has to maintain his gross rapist abuser tyrant oppressor mask... why? Who did that benefit beside him? None of his actions remotely helped Prythian. They were done solely for his buddies - five people safe in a rich hidden city - and no one else, which is explicitly stated.

Finally, the power dynamic is fucked up. Feyre is less than twenty five years old. Rhysand is 500. There is a tendency in fantasy romance to romanticize a centuries year old man with a young girl, because the man does not show symptoms of age, and so it is easily ignorable. However, can we just briefly acknowledge how fucked up it is? Rhys is over five times older than Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and other known predators/abusers. She is twenty. That is really fucking gross. She is in a vulnerable position and he takes rampant advantage of that.

If he had wrinkles, liver problems, and erectile dysfunction, more people would acknowledge it.

Let's be clear: I'm not saying writing a book with an uneven power dynamic is automatically bad. For example, in The Locked Tomb series, which is in my opinion THE BEST FANTASY SERIES THAT HAS GRACED THIS EARTH (lol i'm starting fires), one main character Harrowhark Nonagesimus is in a position of power over Gideon Nav, the other main character. However, this is not glossed over or romanticized. Gideon resents Harrow for this- there is a relationship of mutual antagonism, fraught with unwilling familiarity and intimacy from growing up together. They are roughly the same age. While there is a certain power dynamic (in that world, there is a dynamic of necromancer and cavalier, i.e. sorcerer and sword) the "empowered" character (Harrow) emphatically respects her and does not abuse this power, although both would of course deny this, and she does make a show of threatening and being aloof. In short, while Gideon obeys her, Gideon also has power over Harrow, and the idea of what is essentially slavery is not romanticized.

Feyre Doesn't Face Any Consequences For Her Own Actions

Let me present a radical notion: a guy preventing you from leaving his house does not justify completely fucking ruining his country and harming the people inside it.

In other words: Tamlin does not deserve what she did to him.

I know that sounds iffy. We're conditioned to think that if someone is an abuser, then they are the scum of the earth, they deserve to die, torturing/murdering/doing anything to them is completely A-OK. However, here's another radical notion: someone harming you does not justify you doing worse.

Obviously, the effects of psychological abuse can cause you to hurt other people (see: Nesta), but Feyre deliberately and maliciously (oh, God, that insufferable POV of her in Spring Court; she reads like a cartoonish Disney villain) dismantles his country. She uses sexual manipulation (Lucien), torture (causing the sentry to be whipped), and mind-rape (who didn't she do this to? lol).

A summary of the entire first half of ACOWAR: "It smelled like roses. I hated roses. For this capital offense against my olfactory system, Tamlin and the entire Spring Court deserved to burn in hell. I knew exactly what I was doing. I smiled at him sweetly: no longer a doe, but a wolf. He didn't see my fangs.............." *aesthetic noises*

Man. I'm starting to think SJM had a horrible experience at a Bath & Body Works and took it out on the rest of us. Don't do it, Sarah!! I know Pink Chiffon and Triple Berry Martini are way too strong, but don't take it out on an innocent population!!

She steals from Summer Court (there are, yk, other solutions to theft. Like maybe asking politely) and ruins Spring Court. Her boyfriend - yeesh sorry, MATE - does nothing while a dozen Winter Court children are murdered.

Now: moral ambiguity is not automatically bad. Again using The Locked Tomb as an example, in the second book (spoiler alert), Harrowhark has a sort of moral ambiguity. She was raised from the beginning to worship the King Undying as God, and so she obeys him without question. Because of this, she commits a lot of crimes in His name: she "flips" - i.e. kills - the life force of planets, and she plots murder (albeit the murder of someone who tried to kill her first). There is no attempt to justify this. There is also no attempt to paint her as a virtuous and yet also badass Madonna figure. She is desperate, plagued with the "wreck of herself", and the book clearly displays her moral pitfalls. While her POV is of course colored by her mindset, it also is limited by her lack of information, and we as readers can acknowledge that.

BACK TO ACOTAR: Feyre is seen by everyone as gorgeous, formidable, and essentially perfect. Rhys sees her as flawless, "made for him", wonderful, beautiful, blah blah blah. (THEY ARE SO BAD FOR EACH OTHER; THEY EXCUSE AND GLORIFY EACH OTHER'S CRIMES, IT'S SO BAD, GUYYYS). Tamlin is insanely batshit in love with her, or whatever. To the Night Court she's the High Lady. In this way she personifies the Mary Sue character. (Excerpt from the TV Tropes page on Mary Sues: "She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal." Sound familiar?)

There is the Ourobous scene. And yet, paradoxically, while presented as an acknowledgment of her flaws, it is in fact a rejection of them. She sees her own brutality... and instead of recognizing that she has these deep, deep moral flaws and realizing that she needs to grow and be better, she in fact "accepts" them.

Guys: Self love means: "I'm important to me, so I'm going to get a massage today after work", or "heck, why not splurge on some expensive lotion, you only live once" or "you know what? I had a tough day today. I'm going to get that strawberry cupcake". SELF LOVE DOES NOT MEAN "oh, I accept all the war crimes I have done, I love myself". LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN ABSOLVING YOURSELF OF ALL WRONGDOING.

It's this refusal to acknowledge wrongdoing that is so grating about ACOTAR. It's so goddamn one-sided. And you can tell that after Book 1, SJM decided to completely change the trajectory simply because of how jarring Book 2 reads compared to the first one.

Also: Feyre is a very, very young girl (compared to the other ruling fey) who did not know how to read for the majority of her life. She has no experience whatsoever in politics. Her being High Lady is not a win for feminism.

Rhysand: He Sucks

First, he is 500 years old. He should be written as such, not as some 20 year old virile frat boy feminist. Fantasy is all the more compelling for its elements of realism, which is a concept that SJM does not appear to grasp.

Second of all, his morals are absurd. He is written as the Second Coming of Christ, as someone who can do no wrong, ever, and his flaws only serve to make Feyre love him more. Anything shitty he does is written as part of his "mask" and she can See Beneath It and knows that it "hurts" him to maintain this "mask".

Fellas, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO MAINTAIN THIS MASK???? There is no reason for it. If A) he does not give a shit about Court of Nightmares (we'll get back to that), only about Velaris, and B) Velaris is hidden/protected from the world, what is he pretending for?

It would not hurt him politically to be seen as someone who cares about his country.

"Pretending" to be "Amarantha's whore" does not in any way shape or form benefit the macro-world that is Prythian. In Amarantha's name, he commits atrocities. He commits war crimes; he systemically oppresses entire societies. It doesn't even really benefit Velaris, because Velaris is already hidden.

Let me put this in a real-world perspective. This would be like if Donald Trump was suddenly like: "I know I was a shitty president but IT WAS ALL PART OF MY MASK, WHICH WAS TO PROTECT THIS MICROCOSM OF PRIVILEGED PEOPLE THAT I CARE ABOUT". Like: okay? Sorry, or whatever, but I don't actually give a shit. What about the parents of the children who died? What about Clare Beddor? What about the people who were held in slavery, murdered, tortured?

Rhysand: omg it sucks that my cousin Mor was oppressed by this toxic misogynistic culture from the Court of Nightmares.

Also Rhysand: lol whatever, who gives a shit about Court of Nightmares. They all suck. They meanie. Lol what did you say? That there might be other girls just like Mor who are oppressed by this system? Lol whatever. I can't do anything, I gotta maintain my Mask. I gotta sit on this throne and show the entire Court that not respecting women is completely okay.

In summary: by parading Feyre around as his "whore" (!!) he demonstrates by example that it is completely okay for the Court of Nightmares to abuse their women.

A good ruler cares about all his people. Rhysand cares about a tiny tiny fraction of his people: those who were fortunate enough to be born into Velaris.

God, I'm exhausted. Onto Nesta:

The only character who successfully breaks the Mary Sue effect Feyre exerts on her people is Nesta. Her POV for the first half is a joy to read.

Obviously it sucks that Nesta was a huge bitch to Feyre for the beginning of her childhood. However, it was wrong for Rhysand to threaten her- he is a man male with a huge insane amount of power, and it is not okay for him to threaten to bring the brunt of it down on a young girl because she was a bitch to his girlfriend.

I've seen a lot of discourse on the morality of F/R sending her out of Velaris. Here is my two cents:

It was okay for them to cut her off of their money. If they don't want to enable her self-harm, that is their choice. Again, it's their money, even if it wasn't fairly earned (Rhysand born into an enormous fortune).

It was not okay for them to banish her from Velaris with the implication that she was an embarrassment. Let me explain.

If Rhysand and Feyre are talking to her as sister/brother-in-law, then that is that. They have the complete right to express disapproval and try to help. However, they should not be using their royal privilege against her.

If they are talking to her as ruler to subject, then they have the power to banish her from the city. However, a ruler would not give a shit about a random subject getting drunk and having sex. So, they should not be talking her about her problems as a ruler to subject.

I've heard it compared to her being sent to rehab. However, rehab is a system designed to help people with certain problems. It has specialized medical centers and involves therapy. Nesta gets her life threatened multiple times. It is not rehab.

In summary: why did SJM inflict this upon us. Throne of Glass was actually good! GAHHH! After the first few books she completely whipped around and introduced the idea of males and mates and fey and that C is actually A and the quality took a huge nosedive. Sigh.

Final horrible but unmistakable truth: The entire ACOTAR series reads like a bad A/B/O fic. I hate to say it but it's true. We're lucky there were no heat cycles. OH WAIT