#which is always...fun (interesting) to work out wtf is going on in her fucked up little head :'D

[ssruis]

Rui gets catified ohe au still in my head I like the idea of him being a guy who imbues stuff with magic and combines magic + engineering to create some truly whimsical things while tsukasa’s thing is imbuing his food with rpg type buffs/healing for adventurers (today’s special is a stir fry that improves your running speed). Both because I like the idea and also because I think in any au they need to have a shared interest to obsess over.

I think if I did write it it would be like… chapters of tsukasa and this Fucking Cat with interludes about how rks met and grew closer

In my beautiful mind palace

> the source of magic is fragments of feelings or whatever the hell they’re called. I’ve played this game for a year I should know this. wish pieces? Whatever. Those are the source of magic and people often go on expeditions to find them, which can be dangerous because there’s classic rpg type enemies out and about. Tsukasa tenma voice I don’t go out on expeditions because my job of helping people prepare for expeditions is too important (he went into the forest once and got attacked by a big bug like the ones in the Stardew valley mines and he classifies that moment as his greatest trauma)

> rui keeps to himself because people think that he does human experiments with the crazy wish piece harnessing gear he makes (incorrect he always tests it on himself) & they are scared of his silly little robots because giving life to the artificial bad (they’re not alive he just puts his will into them and that’s what they’re programmed to follow)

> nene brings rui to the cafe after she accompanies him on some sort of expedition & she’s like the owner is kind of a pain but the food is really good. She also wants to see emu (who likes hanging around tsukasa’s restaurant in her free time and annoying him/helping him with orders and waitressing/talking to saki) but she will not admit that

> before rui meets tsukasa saki has already left to travel with Leo/need. just for a bit. but tsukasa knows she’s definitely going to go on longer and longer trips and he is being so normal about this. No emu he’s not stress baking those 50 immaculately decorated cupcakes are for customers. Even though the restaurant is closed tomorrow. Ok fine you can take a bunch of them.

> rui thinks tsukasa is an interesting critter & tsukasa thinks he’s a weird guy who won’t touch vegetables but any friend of saki’s is a friend of his (he’s really stretching his logic. Emu is a friend of saki’s -> nene is friends with emu so she is by association a friend of saki’s -> rui is friends with nene who is friends with emu so he is also included in this). Tsukasa also forgets Rui’s name after this meeting it’s not his fault he sees so many people every day.

> rui eventually comes back for more food with nene because he is a lazy ass who hates cooking and also the food is just good. It’s during the mid day close to prepare for dinner rush but emu lets them in anyways. tsukasa is throwing a fit because the wish piece fueled oven is not working.

> while tsukasa is distracted by emu bugging him and nene making fun of him rui lets himself into the kitchen because he heard the siren’s song of a fun enriching task (fixing something and helping someone)

> tsukasa finds him and is like wtf get out (concerned for rui’s safety) & rui is like I fixed your oven and also your fridge and the freezer seems like it’s about to start malfunctioning you should get that fixed. (Post enrichment clarity) oh sorry I should have asked first.

> tsukasa is very enthused by rui’s knowledge and thinks it’s super cool & offers him a week of meals on the house for fixing it & they talk about the magic system for a while before he goes home

> rui takes him up on this offer. yay free food. He also offers to fix/improve tsukasa’s kitchen whenever needed for more free food and tsukasa is like yes of course i would be forever in your debt and rui is like ok great let’s make the oven reach up to 3000 degrees (has already started fucking with him)

> they grow closer over time & rui becomes a regular who visits by himself on a near daily basis (when he’s not busy)

> specific memory section of tsukasa bringing rui food and visiting him because he hadn’t seen rui in two weeks and was concerned. Which was fair Rui was locked in on a project. He gets to see all of Rui’s whimsical inventions. “Can you at least eat one vegetable I was chased by all sorts of unpleasant beasts on the way here (normal ass bugs)”

> specific memory of them going out on the town to buy ingredients and tsukasa nudging rui into socializing with people which in the long run dispels a lot of the “scary guy who lives in a house in the woods and does scary things there” rumors

> another specific memory of rui going into tsukasa’s kitchen while tsukasa is busy closing the restaurant & seeing ramune candy and being like yum don’t mind if i do & then tsukasa finds him and is like how many did u eat… bc they were specifically made to help with rui’s insomnia and mask the taste of sleep medicines/herbs (that rui refuses to take because they are green and leafy and therefore vegetable). Tsukasa has to drag rui up to his living space above the kitchen before he passes out so he can sleep it off which brings them into a new stage of their relationship: rui crashing at Tsukasa’s place when he’s too lazy to walk back home. He starts bringing work stuff with him & tsukasa only puts up a token complaint because ever since saki left he has been a little lonely.

> overall theme of “if you feed a stray cat it will not leave.” Sorry tsukasa you fed this man & now you’re stuck with him. Also the more boring theme of coping with people leaving (tsukasa) and actually interacting with people and becoming a part of the community (rui). Rui just kinda moves in after he gets un catted.

> I think emu should be a beast tamer type of character. Maybe Mr mascot is some huge scary beast she tamed & the otoris run a merchant guild that also transports people in and out of the wilderness.

> nene makes potions with wish pieces that can give you a quicker and more specific buff/heal on the go than what tsukasa’s food does but they met through this and have bonded over sharing methods and stuff. The food buffs are longer lasting than nene’s potions. but nene has potions that will allow you to get the buff you need for any situation exactly when you need it and they’re more concentrated. Think sdv meal that increases speed vs a coffee.

> ^ tsukasa could make more specific buffs for food but 1) there are so many and he is NOT keeping the ingredients for all of that on hand all the time 2) he likes variety and trying new things so if you go to him for a buff you’ve just gotta take what’s on the day’s menu.

> rui and nene have known each other for a long time and he frequently makes stuff to help her potion making + will accompany her on expeditions to get more wish pieces. She has to lead with that because if she says she’s gathering herbs he will refuse. Yes he will help her with her personal herb garden no he does not want to touch them once they’ve left the ground because he has chosen the anti vegetable hill to die on and die on it he will.

> emu met nene when accompanying her on a more dangerous expedition & frequents nene’s shop a lot for both the potions and to see her

> emu met tsukasa because he buys rare ingredients from her and she thought he was a funny little guy and now she is seemingly hellbent on eating him out of house and home. House and restaurant? Emu you can’t have a fifth helping of soup I have other customers. Ok fine just a little. Oh you’re hungry because of a long expedition ok you can have a sixth helping too.

> meiko is there she’s a merchant of sorts

> touya works at the library. This is relevant only because tsukasa doesn’t know shit about owning a cat and needed help.

> I want to throw an in there… maybe she’s at the library when tsukasa goes there in the story. Just because.

[whitecreekvalley-if]

Care to tell some facts about the ROs?

Fun or serious? I'll do fun little tidbits. Hard hitting angsty facts later, when you least expect it aye 🤌🏼 (this is me trying not to get too angsty at once because that's what I usually doooo)

Mason

On a first name basis both at the clinic in town and the hospital in the city. No self-preservation instincts. Zero. It's actually saved a lot of other people, houses, and animals, so bonus points for that. The nurses still look unamused when he comes through.

Does not trust roosters. Will never get a rooster for the ranch. Won't be caught dead near one of those feathered devils. (He's not afraid of rooster. He's not. Please believe him.)

Has a real hard time saying no to people and it almost got him unintentionally engaged (TWICE) before his friends were like hold up wtf dude. Alcohol might've been involved during one of these moments. Boy gets silly when he's had mezcal.

Alice

Like spice? Not as much as Alice you don't, she could eat a Carolina Reaper and go for another in half a minute. It freaks people out. Don't eat the chili at the potluck if you treasure your insides.

Has the most amazing memory. Forgot what you did on June 18th, 2016? She remembers. Need a reminder what to do five months from now? Personal calendar, let the lady know. It's a curse of you don't want to relive drunken shenanigans.

Total dog person. Sheep are great, but dogs is where it's at. You'll always catch her bringing one or two of her pups to the bar on slow weekdays. She owns many. Like 12 many, and they're all vital for the sheep farm. Absolutely.

Judge

Always, always has to sit with his face towards the exit(s) and back against the wall, otherwise he'll be tense enough to feel like solid rock if touched. He'll deal with not facing a door though. Just prepare for extra grouch.

His nickname used to be Joe. Joe. No one uses it anymore, for their own good. If you really want to burn bridges (or get the coldest glare), start quoting Don't Fuck With Joe by The Blackwater Fever.

Don't go hiking with him, whatever you do. This is a fella who smashes those long distance trails for fun, and has gone out for weeks and even months on end during extended vacations. 100 miles minimum to make the big lug take a relaxed breath.

Sadie

A living, breathing lie detector. She has a deep, intense interest in body language analysis, and listens to tonal changes so hard it looks like she's lost in though. But there's a very, very slim chance for anyone to lie to her and get away with it, which is a freaky skill for a lawyer.

Has never touched an animal bigger than her. Sure she's seen a horse, a cow, a bull, but she'll keep her feet firmly planted on pavement while the animals are out there in the pasture. Equal minding of own businesses.

No one plays poker with Ms. Sadie because they always lose. If the lawyer thing won't work out, she definitely has a future as a card shark, professional players better shake in their boots. Don't watch her shuffle the deck too closely. Or ask why she knows card tricks.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road Review- A Nice Big Plate of WTF?

So… I have… questions? Many of them aren’t even things I can express in words- they’re just helpless looks of confusion happening in my head and a general, non-specific yearning for answers. I’m not saying I disliked The Church on Ruby Road. I’m not saying I liked it, either. I’m saying that it’s so bafflingly other that I’m not 100% sure how to process my feelings about it. Consequently, this is going to be quite a short review. I mean, when Wild Blue Yonder and The Giggle blew me away, I knew exactly what it was I was enjoying and why. When The Star Beast disappointed, I knew exactly why it disappointed me (it felt like a first draft). I don’t even know what emotions I experienced while watching The Church on Ruby Road or if those emotions even have names, so it’s kind of difficult to talk about.

Okay, let’s start with something easy. I like Ncuti Gatwa’s take on the Doctor. That’s something I’m certain about. He’s breezy and bright and- occasionally- a tiny bit bitchy. I think he’s going to be an interesting addition to the line-up. Also, I think it’s really cool and progressive that he’s the first Doctor… WITH A MOUSTACHE! So yeah, he’s a perfectly fine actor for the role. I could have done with a slightly stronger, more sure-footed introduction- something like Ecclestone’s “Run!” or David Tenant just straight up grabbing a Sycorax energy-whip by the business end and yanking it away… but I get that he’s meant to be the fun, easy-going Doctor and I accept that his intro has to suit the character, which means a gradual, laid-back sort of interweaving. So yes: nice work on establishing Fifteen, Ruby Road.

But then there’s the goblins in flying wooden boats. Doctor Who had goblins now, and that’s fine… but they’re never really explained. We’re told they can surf the waves of time, but we’re never told where they came from. Are they just on Earth all the time? Have they always been here? Are they from space? Another dimension? We’re just kind of asked to accept them and the fact that they regularly abduct and eat babies (yet this has somehow never come up before). I mean, I’m okay with goblins, but I’m not sure how I feel about inadequately-explained goblins in a sci-fi show. Doctor Who has every right to be extremely silly- it’s practically in the charter- but there’s a razor-thin line between ‘silly’ and ‘stupid’ and I’m not sure which side of the divide big-eyed mischievous goblins in flying boats fall on. Especially when they start singing.

Ah, yes. Maybe I should have led with that. The goblins sing. And I don’t mean unearthly, alien singing of the kind befitting their essentially inhuman nature, nor even the type of shanties that would match their outfits and flying, old-fashioned sailing ship. No, no. They sing a full-on, carefully-orchestrated and choreographed, extremely catchy pop song… about eating babies. It’s fucking mental. I mean, it’s obviously meant to be funny and it made me laugh… but I’m not sure I was laughing at the intended joke or if I was just having a breakdown in response to seeing something so fucking inexplicable. I mean, when the Celestial Toymaker interrupted The Giggle for a musical number, it made sense. The Toymaker was characterised in such a way that murdering people to music perfectly fitted his character- he’s bloody psychotic. But with the goblins it just comes completely out of left-field.

I thought the overarching themes of family being about more than blood and people forming intricate webs of connection that depend more on love than superficial genetic ties were pretty solid and universal. On the other hand, making new companion Ruby Sunday such an enmeshed part of an adopted family meant her personality didn’t get much chance to come through properly, despite her more-than-ample screen-time. She always felt like a part of something larger- particularly with the fairly extravagant and entertaining personalities of her other family members (one in particular).

I think what’s weird about this episode is that it’s meant to be the start of a soft-reboot with the potential to draw in new fans, yet if you’re not familiar with Doctor Who already, it presents a bit of misleading picture of what the show is. It centres mythic and magical creatures over the show’s more standard cosmic and alien fare or scientific-disaster-style stories, while previous events are referenced with little or no context. As a long-time Who fan (who even forced myself to watch the execrable Chibnall/Whitaker episodes necessary for an appreciation of the plot), I understood what was being alluded to and also knew to make allowances for this being a daft, knock-about Christmas episode that won’t be typical of the season to come. But new fans? They’re likely to be completely bloody lost.

All things considered, I quite liked The Church on Ruby Road- it’s a bit of fun and it’s a reasonably good palette cleanser after the heavier themes of the previous two specials. Plus, it’s just nice to see a new Doctor in action and know he’s going to be good in the role. Does it set out to do what it was meant to do, though (i.e. set out the stall for new Whovians and provide a real flavour of the show? Erm. No. And, however enjoyable it might be overall, its more confusing elements do make me worry about showrunner Russel T. Davies’ mental state. At least we only have to wait until spring to find out just how mad he’s gone.

[hollywoodsargeant]

i have finally read chapter 10 (another amazing chapter btw!) and i have some a lot of thoughts about things (sorry if this is really long, i just have a lot of thoughts after the entire break up with both of them)

i still love the fact that the both of them are so, nonchalant i guess?, by the fact that they’ve fucked before when talking to their partners, oscar being my favourite in this (i’ve said this before but he has brushed off logan seeing his dick and him come as ‘a requirement’ and left it at that)

logan breaking up with mia isn’t unexpected tbh, i feel like he would know that he wasn’t exactly a fan of mia making a ‘giant’ deal over the jersey thing (i still don’t understand the deal about that as an aussie) and then bringing up the entire fucking oscar thing and her reaction to it (which i get it, i would be surprised if my boyfriend had sex with his supposed best friend). anyways i’m excited to see what happens next with logan (he gets his first boyfriend perhaps??? maybe he figures out aviation??? let’s see)

oscar also breaking up with ben wasn’t exactly something i was thinking of until i got to the entire talking about sex part, i felt like he was like ‘wtf man though we’re on the same field yet you’ve made out, and now you’re only telling me you had sex with your best friend??’ so i can feel for him and what he was feeling there. also i feel like oscar was going to say something to ben abt the entire logan calling him baby thing, especially when he called oscar baby in front of ben, which imo pushed ben over the edge there (perhaps that’s why ben wasn’t wanting to wait or whatever for the break up and just said it straight up)

i’m interested to see how both oscar and logan will react/what they’ll do about the entire college thing, from previous chapters we already know logan doesn’t want oscar to leave him, but could it end up being the other way? if he goes with aviation and goes out of state and oscar is the one that stays in?

anyways i’ve extended my thoughts a bit too much and def repeated a bunch but i’m just excited for the story and what will happen next, thank you so much for this chapter and great work as always!

THANK YOU!!! <3 and do not apologize for the long message i appreciate it somuch i love hearing your thoughts and responding to them it makes me veryhappy :)

see they are both well. not convinced that it's normal to have sex with your friend, they're aware that their friendship is pretty not-normal even if they are convinced it's just friendship, but they are both very content in the fact that they did that and as with most things - it just fell into place with them. i know i've referenced a timeline in the fic before as if everything they've ever done is stretched out on this massive straight line, and neither of them are all that fazed by any of it, because it's just them. so oscar is pretty much like Yeah. logan seeing me come is a requirement in logan having sex with me. casual as ever. and ben is like ??? babe wtf. not sure if this makes sense i am just spitting here

rest in pieces logan and mia </3 he did seriously think mia was being dramatic about the jersey thing and he always thought that he's just not stupid enough to tell his girlfriend she's being dramatic... i'll be real i don't totally understand the drama in it either and it's something i witnessed firsthand but. i thought it would be fun petty drama for the fic. and i am very excited for what does happen next with logan there's a thing i know i've referenced before in short snippets but either no one saw them or everyone forgot but i stopped directly referencing it on here so if anyone can find that. gold star

(sorry for vagueing)

obv i knew i wanted to break up oscar and ben soon but i wasn't really planning on doing it this chapter until i was like. Oh well i could make logan talk about his breakup and then oscar thinks about his own relationship et cetera. which is then what happened. rest in peace to those three drowned fruit flies when i start talking about bugs that's how you know it's time to pack it up... and rest in peace ben. he kind of exploded a bit. clearly there was a time when he was very casual about it but -- and i'm p sure i had oscar Wonder about this -- in my head ben did assume all the kissing logan stuff was more in the past than it actually was, like a figuring-themselves-out in middle school type thing. so he was cool kinda teasing about it and calling logan cute or whatever but when it became apparent it was something that was happening recently he didn't really like it. cue jealousy

college will be fun! they have to send out their applications soon! i feel like a lot of ch10 involved vague college talk but that is truly the experience of being a junior/senior in high school. it was like all i would talk about with my friends at the end there

sorry this answer is 10 billion years long actually in case you couldn't tell i thoroughly enjoy discussing this fic. my beloved fic <3

[sunshinepixels]

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE

bc I hate it more than I've ever hated anything in my life 😭

Allison is back from the dead and somehow stays alive by the end of the movie as if that's not unnatural af !!! Like she's a human? how is that a thing? why did they do this? I love Allison, I really do but her coming back to life and not being laid back to rest by the end of the movie was so psycho and bizarre. Idk why they made that choice but I hated it

Derek apparently had a child 15 years ago and Allison died 15 years ago so somehow he had a child in season 3? When? When would he have time to do that? He was literally with Jennifer that season 🤨 so when did he make this kid who he seemed to have always been in the life of ? the math isn't mathing. ik teen wolf math sometimes doesn't make sense but I excused it bc I like the show but since I hate this fucking movie I will not excuse it. Jeff Davis tell me how the fuck Derek somehow had a kid in season 3!?

Who is the mother of Derek's child? (We all know that Stiles is the other parent) but fr why is she not mentioned at fucking all??? like it felt so unnatural, like they were specifically talking around it or some shit. I swear Eli never even says the word mom once!! how? why do they act like she doesn't exist? at this point I'm gonna assume Derek made this child asexually through budding or some shit cus wtf

IK Dylan O didn't want to be in the movie but they didn't have to do everything in their power to pretend Stiles didn't exist. The only references to him were the Jeep and Lydia's dumb dream. It made it seem like Stiles doesn't keep up with them anymore and that they don't keep up with him, and that's including his fucking dad. It's so unnatural and ew. I'm also very sad that Kira wasn't here but ik why Arden didn't want to do it. Fuck Jeff tbh. Kira was barely mentioned also, I don't think they EVER said anything about her at all. It's giving Jeff is bitter or smth.

This movie dragged so bad, it was boring as shit and I struggled to get to the 2 hour mark. It was actually painful for me to watch . I wanted to skip through every scene basically, trying to get to SOMETHING interesting, but it was rare that anything like that was going on

Some of the style choices were weird. The clothes they had Deaton in weren't right, it didn't feel like something he'd wear at all. Also so weird to see Chris in a turtleneck, idk if he's worn one before but it looked weird. Peter ate though, I have to give them that.

WHY WOULD MASON BE A FUCKING COP? What about him screams cop? 😐 He should be working with Melissa at the hospital or doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

Parrish and Malia 😐 disgusting. He knew her as a teen!!! like hello?? that's weird af! I already hated him and Lydia, bc why is he going after a freshly turned 18 y/o and I was hoping that the writers would know better by now then to do this weird shit but obviously they didn't

What exactly was Harris back for? He barely explained what happened to him or what he knew? It was dumb. If they left him out, I don't think it would've impacted the movie or what we know about Harris at all. Also, I don't remember if they explained but why was he alive anyway?

Abolish Eichen House

Some of the sets were very ugg and didn't feel like teen wolf at all

Peter sniffing the ground like a dog ☠️☠️☠️ SO UGLY 😭 but so hilarious, best scene hands down

Curse count: 9 Shits and 2 Motherfuckers (both from Chris which is funny asf)

The movie was not fun, it didn't have the fun vibes of the original show, all the jokes were meh and didn't live up to the source material.

who tf is Eli's mom 😐 I'm serious

why did former best friends Mason and Liam barely say one word to each other 😐😐😐😐 idc if they had no time, they should've been hugging and crying in the background or some shit

Why did they decide to make Derek burn???? LIKE HUH??? That was sick ! The worse possible death they could've given him! Like that's TRAUMATIC!!! Like were we meant to think this was poetic or smth?? cus I don't. I just think it's sick and weird. Not only that but they made him leave his kid. at this point why'd they even give him a kid just to kill him off. it also kind of felt like they exchanged a dead person for an alive person

the way Liam and Hikari pronounced I love you in Japanese was so bad. im not a language expert but that didn't sound right at all. truly horrendous, get a language coach on set or smth cus that ain't it

them having Allison come back and go back to dating Scott felt very character regressiony for him. like ik he loved allison but so what? you don't need to always end up with your first love. he literally was able to move past her death and get in other relationships. it didn't feel like he was holding a torch for her, it felt like he was able to get past it but now it doesn't. idk it's weird

seeing clips from the tv show made me wanna take the shit off my screen and put on the real show

and lastly this movie didn't need to exist and is not canon in my head

[marinaiguess]

SONIC FRONTIERS TRAILER ANALYSIS + SPOILERS (I mean, what did you expect)

this trailer was all I was hoping for. I had high expectations for the next mainline sonic game and until now, sonic frontiers hasn't disappointed me. so, here's why I'm so hyped

the animations and the graphics look absolutely gorgeous, my boy finally has expressions!! (I know it's cgi but still)

all the different starfall islands + the cyberspace levels look very interesting and fun and beautiful

sage's: "submit" and sonic's: "fuck u bitch, I'm going anyway" yeah I loved that (he actually doesn't say anything but his face says it)

he goes so fast lol, this goes out to the ones who would complain about Sonic's lack of speed in this game

all the new gimmicks look fun, the bouncing off the walls, the new fighting techniques

oh don't get me started on these robots, they are unique and they look pretty challenging so I'm excited about that

the suspense is real, we see a locked up Amy, I wonder how sonic will save her and tails and knuckles (apparently they all lost their memories)

THE GODDAMN VOICE ACTING. honestly, I never found Roger's voice fitting for sonic. I always have respected his work however, don't get me wrong. but the delivery of that single line... PERFECT. I hope it's the same for the rest of the game, I've been dying for some good voice acting/good voice direction and good writing

speaking of good writing, as soon as I learned Ian Flynn is the writer for the frontiers' story, I was relieved and until now his work on the game has been proven to be damn good

idk what sage's powers are (atp I'm just assuming her name is sage) but wtf did she do to sonic, his arm went red and one could say his arm went null space (that red just reminds me of the phantom ruby and infinite's power, okay?)

wait, did his arm glitch? did sage glitch? bcuz I know for a fact that the cyberspace levels have some glitchy effects here and there. (sage is the glitch confirmed and if you know, you know)

oh I can see the pain in Sonic's face! and his anger! he has emotions! (lol)

she summoned a giant anthropomorphic robot vulture, almost 19 times bigger than sonic (maths), that's great :')

also, 60€? it seems fair but I ain't buying it for a little while it seems oops

I wasn't expecting that cover but I'm not complaining, it's pretty cool

the soundtrack? gorgeous. (judging by what we've heard) but it's a sonic game, ofc it will have a banger ost

also, it's a lot different than that Japanese trailer we saw a few days ago (which looked so pretty), I'm just saying

go visit the official website for sonic frontiers, there are some nice screenshots y'all should check out :)

and with that being said, I hope I can get this game sooner or later, I'm so hyped.

[incorrectsnkships]

Armin and Eren’s daughter got the winning combination of Armin’s curiosity and Eren’s stubbornness. Like they can’t take their eyes off her for one second or she’s gonna go climb those big can displays at the grocery store or bring snakes into the house or lick peanut butter off the sidewalk. Just a complete gremlin. Carla says it’s karma for Eren being a little shit growing up.

oh my absolutely. i can picture this so vividly, poor eremin

you've heard of terrible twos? well, other kids experience terrible twos. eremin's kid experiences atrocious, appalling, dreadful, absolutely fucking fearful, terrible twos. seriously, this kid screams bloody murder at anything and everything.

bath time? nah, kid's gonna cling to armin's leg and cry. oh, eren has to leave for work? nope, kid decides that she doesn't want dad to leave, so she screams to try and get him to stay. getting dropped off at nursery? armin has to stay and try and stop her from sounding like she's getting murdered.

a: come on, sweetheart, dad's gotta go-

k: no i want you to stay with me at school

a: i can't-

k: STAY WITH ME-

don't get me wrong, armin is an absolutely amazing dad, he knows his kid and how to handle her. so is eren, he knows how to keep her occupied, how to stimulate her brain and most of her motor skills have come from playing and building things with him.

armin is more of a paternal dad - he's more intimate, takes care of her basic needs, hygiene, is in charge of buying her clothes because god knows eren can't do it himself. he makes her lunch, because if it were down to eren, they'd be having mcdonalds every day.

eren on the other hand, acts like a parent, but also like a friend too - takes her out for ice cream, picks her up from school, puts her in the bath and makes it fun when armin's too tired to. eren likes to build the furniture for their house by himself, likes to do diy, and more often than not, his daughter is always helping him.

but armin is scared. not scared of her growing up, but scared of her getting hurt. eren is constantly reassuring him.

e: hey me and kid are gonna go build that cabinet you bought the other day, it shouldn't take too long

a: w- wait! be careful!

e: hey, it's fine. she's probably only gonna sit and watch and pass me the drill or a screwdriver whenever i need it

a: exactly :( what if something falls on her? y'know - i'll just come with you

but once the tantrum phase is over, a new phase is introduced - hyperactivity.

god help them those poor, poor men.

LET ME TELL YOU SHE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE ITS RIDICULOUS.

she wants to do this, wants to do that, wants to know how this works, how that works. she’s just so hyper that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. they always have to tire her out before bed, which is usually eren chasing her around the house while armin does the dishes.

when she finally, finally crashes, it leaves eremin with the rare occasion of having alone time, but they’re just too tired to do anything.

e: ‘so tired

a: yeah

e: yeah. wanna have sex?

a: sure let me just- hang on… okay i’m- eren?

e: *is snoring and asleep*

she’d be in kindergarten or whatever and the teacher would call armin in when he picks her up from school because she started swearing in class. armin was mortified. eren and kid laughed.

and carla- oh, carla is the only one she behaves for. probably because carla has experience from eren.

e: wtf how is it that she only behaves for you

c: eh, i’m used to it from you

also carla would be an amazing grandparent, she’d spoil kid so much and give her whatever she wanted.

kid can’t get enough of the world. lucky she has armin to boost her interests and show her the ways, and eren, who helps her discover easier ways of doing difficult tasks, who teaches her that she can be so many things.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。･o･｡) face. Anyways what a chapter.

so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise

AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting

holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??

yepppp, oh shit

so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along

(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)

there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously

OH THANK GOD

I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute

oh damn it’s the flowers

Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit

but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal

anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi

oop, back to the present

omfg lol

“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops

omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot

and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE

oh, hello

yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf

Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit

who are you talking to buddy

Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed

AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY

ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL

(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)

OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS

oh my sweet precious lord

just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though

HOMG

I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this

I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)

and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess

by the way,

remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot

so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics

-- okay hold up

...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED

IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW

(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)

[clicks tongue several times] trouble a���brewin’

MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK

KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ

!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT

so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ

THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME

also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!

now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore

whew. okay. so, a couple of things here

1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”

so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)

2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that

which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after

though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto

anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???

AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG

because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything

AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD

really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t

GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL

WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that

TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH

crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol

AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH

are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close

(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)

OH MY GOD AND STILL

so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen

fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending

AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere

“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that

I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling

“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”

OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO

HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy

“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here

baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young

OH MY GODDDDDD

IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP

SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!

“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!

(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)

ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG

ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP

[bakugosbratx]

How about this: bakugou and s/o have this teasing friendship dynamic where they compete to outwit eachother. They go out to hang. When bakugou slams s/o into the wall in a fit of lust/annoyance reader is just like ‘um what’s happening wait what’ cuz reader honestly doesn’t think that it’s possible for bakugou to have feelings for her. So reader is super sub. Bakugou teases her the entire time. “Not so tough now huh?”

NSFW 18+ Come Over- Dom! Bakugo x Sub! Reader

WARNING: 18+ Consentual Characters, size kink, daddy kink, breeding kink, swearing, harsh language, etc.

Check out my other works here

A/N: Sorry it took me awhile to get to your request, but I hope it meets some of your standards. I had fun writing it. Send me in your request y’all. My inbox is open 💥

Words: 1,841

You and Bakugo have always had an interesting friendship. You were introduced to the Bakusquad by Mina Ashido. You two met at the record store since you used to work there and bonded instantly. So, Mina wanted you to meet her other friends. Everyone loved you right away except for the ashy blonde. You were at each other's throats the second you met each other.

"Hey, dumbass." Bakugo greeted, not removing the scowl from his face. You were not one to deal with other's bullshit so you refused to let Katsuki talk to you any sorts of way.

"Hello to you too, dipshit."

"Oi! What did you call me? I'll kick your ass!" Bakugo exclaimed.

"Probably can't hear me because of all of your yelling." You shrugged.

"I think we should go-" Mina sighed as she grabbed your arm but you shrugged her off.

"Nah! I want to meet all of your lovely friends. Not just the stupid one." You smiled innocently.

"You're going to regret those words, loser!" Bakugo growled as Kirishima held him back using his hardening quirk.

As stated before, everyone loved you. Except for Bakugo, but overtime, you both learned to tolerate each other. It was never spoken, but a friendship developed overtime between you and the short tempered boy. You always pushed each other's buttons and knew how to make each other go off. It was now a common amusement amongst the others.

You were out shopping with Sero, Kirishima, and Mina when you received a text. You opened it to see that Bakugo messaged you.

Boomer 💥:

Want to hangout?

You:

I'm currently at the mall

Boomer 💥:

Then leave.

You:

Wtf I'm not leaving for you.

Boomer 💥:

Oi! Just come over at some point today shitty woman.

You:

Okay dickhead.

"What are you so smiley about?" Mina teased. You didn't even realize a smile was plastered on your face.

"Probably texting Bakugo." Sero teased.

"Oh fuck off!" You exclaimed as your face heated up.

The group teased you and Bakugo all the time. They claimed you two secretly love each other and you two just didn't know it. You have came to terms that you thought Bakugo was cute in his own special way, but you were not convinced that the feelings were reciprocated. Katsuki was never good at showing his emotions except when he is angry or annoyed which is his attitude 98% of the time.

You didn't tell your friends that you and Bakugo text more than they think. Not consistently since Bakugo is not much of a conversationalist over text, but he will send you random messages when he's annoyed or if something reminds him of you. You tried to hide the stupid grin you get when his name appeared on your phone, but your friends caught on overtime. You seemed to get teased the most about it. At least, that's how it felt.

You kept your word and strolled over to Bakugo's house after the mall. You were not sure what he wanted or why, but you did not question it either. The most he is going to do is piss you off and you storm home in a fit of rage. So, you were a little hesitant on knocking on his door.

You knocked on the door with three hard knocks. Bakugo opened the door moments later. Same scowl on his face as usual.

"Hey dumbass."

You invite yourself in, not saying anything. You were surprised on how well kept his house was considering Katsuki is quick to blow up everything.

"Wow! Your place looks great!" You complement.

"You've never seen nice things before, idiot?"

You shoot a glare at him.

"Why can't you just accept the compliment, dipshit?" You sigh. "Why did you even invite me over here?"

"Because I wanted to."

"That's not a good enough answer, stupid."

"Well it's going to be! And watch your mouth, dumbass."

You get up in Bakugo's face. Your eyes meeting his crimson red ones staring down into you.

"And what if I don't?" You stated firmly.

Without a word, Bakugo pushes you against the nearest wall. He pins your wrist above your head with one of his strong hands while keeping a hard, lustful gaze on you. You tremble so slightly under his firm grip.

"What the fuck, Katsuki? Let me go!" You demanded to no avail. Bakugo just smirked.

"Not so tough are you now, huh? Look at you, so helpless." Katsuki teased.

You tried to squirm, but this only amused Katsuki. It was obvious he was not going to let you go.

"Katsuki, let me go-" You were interrupted by Bakugo's lips smacking into yours. His kisses are aggressive, but you did not expect any less from the short-tempered man.

Bakugo slowly pulls away, looking at your lips then back to your eyes. You can feel his hot breath tickling your plump lips.

"You're much cuter when you're quiet." Katsuki stated softly.

You feel your stomach doing fumbles. You can't believe Bakugo actually kissed you. Even worse, pinning you against the wall. This is not what you have expected to happen. Especially since Bakugo seems to not want to be around people often. You have a huge crush on him and you're hoping that this is him showing you the feeling is mutual.

"And you're much cuter when you let go of me." You scoffed.

"Nah. I don't think I will. Besides," Bakugo's fingers dip into your pants and feel the wet panties, "I would say you're enjoying this."

Your cheeks turn bright pink and you swallowed the imaginary lump in your throat. You did not want Bakugo to know how much he turns you on. Especially since you're in this position. You know he will not let you live this down and he will use your weakness for him as an advantage.

Bakugo's fingers played with your clit through the wet fabric. He enjoyed watching you squirm as he kept you in place. He began sucking on your neck to leave a nice hickey for everyone to see. You knew better than to try to tell him to stop. Bakugo has made it more than perfectly clear he does not give a single damn about your pleas as he gently nibbles on your tender flesh.

"Katsuki." You moan as his fingers speed up inside you.

Bakugo stops to meet your eyes.

"The name is Daddy. Got that, little girl?" Bakugo growls in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You nod.

"Say it." Bakugo demands.

"Yes, daddy."

Bakugo smirks.

"Such a good little slut. I know you have been wanting my cock for a long time and I thought I'd be nice enough to invite you over to feed your hunger."

"T-That's not true!" You argued.

"Really? You think I haven't noticed how turned on you get when we argue? You think I haven't noticed you staring at my dick when we all hangout? Lastly," Bakugo rubs your clit roughly to edge you some, "you're about to be fucking soaked again."

"Mm daddy!" You moan, wanting to cum some more.

"Aw, does my precious little girl want to cum? You want daddy to let you release onto his fingers?" Katsuki coo's condescending.

"Yes daddy! Please!" You beg.

"Your wish is my command, princess."

Bakugo rubs you a little more to get you stimulated and you release. He feels the wetness through your panties and he smirks.

"Damn, you came a lot for me. Such a cock hungry slut you are. Don't worry, daddy is going to fuck your precious little cunt so good." Bakugo chuckles before lifting you up and putting you over his shoulder. He carries you to his bedroom and lays you on your back on his California King Bed. He begins taking off your clothes and kissing - along with a few nibbles - on your exposed skin. He throws your bra to the floor and starts to suck on your tender nipples. Moans of pleasure escape your parted lips.

Bakugo gets to your panties and start to take them off. The cold air hitting your wet core made you shiver a bit. Plus, you were a bit nervous and embarrassed. Your vulnerable naked body is on full display for Bakugo's lustful eyes and you could not help but feel insecure. Bakugo noticed how tense your body became and he gave you a reassuring look.

“If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.”

“I want to. I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t worry. I will not hurt you too bad.” Bakugo teased.

You softly smile and relaxed. He opened your legs so your soaked pussy was ready for him to enter. Bakugo began getting undressed and your eyes widen at his hard dick. Of course, this doesn’t go unnoticed by Bakugo and he smirks as he strokes his huge member.

“Like what you see?”

“T-That’s going in me?” You exclaimed.

“Yep. All of it.”

You were about to close your legs, but Katsuki put his hands on your knees and keep them open. You feel the tip at your entrance and it already felt he was in deeper than he was. You did not even get much time to process as Bakugo kept making his way deeper into you.

“Damn, you are so fucking tight, babe. You can hardly handle all of my huge cock.”

“Daddy, please!” You whine and moan, wanting more of his member in you, though, you don’t think you can handle much more. You were not a virgin, by any means, but you haven’t had sex with a man as big as Bakugo. With each thrust, its pleasurable and a little painful. He isn’t gentle nor is he small in width. He’s not only big in length, he has a nice girth to his dick as well.

“Quit your whining. You’re going to take all of my cock wether you like it or not, slut.”

Katsuki continues thrusting in you, grumbling slurs under his breath as your folds hug his cock. You could feel another orgasm coming as his balls slapped against you. All of his length was in you, hitting all the right spots and then some. You were gripping the satin bed sheets and moaning loud enough to where Japan could hear you.

“Daddy, I am about to cum.” You moan.

“Damn, on your third orgasm. Better beg for it.”

“Please daddy! Please let me cum! Please!” You begged as tears brimmed your eyes.

“Cum on my cock.”

You did as your told and released on Bakugo’s hard dick. This didn’t stop him from going, through. He was still going to meet his high weather you liked it or not. He is close to cumming and he starts to speed up.

“Oh God.” You gasp as he releases himself into you. He makes sure every drop is in your body before pulling out. He gives you soft kisses on the lips and pulls away to meet your gaze.

“Aren’t you glad you came over?”

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

[brightbeautifulthings]

Bunny by Mona Awad

"'Whenever I read one of Victoria’s vignettes, I always feel so dumb because I can hardly understand them at all. And then I blame myself. I think, Kira, this must be just too brilliant for you to grasp. Surely you must have missed something. Even though there’s always been this small voice inside of me that says, Um, what the fuck is this, please? This makes no sense. This is coy and this is willfully obscure and no one but Victoria will ever get this. I would in fact need to live inside Victoria’s spoiled, fragmented, lazy, pretentious little mind to get it. And who apart from us, apart from me, is going to be willing to do that? To work all night with a Victoria Decoder? Who would even care to? And then I feel like screaming JUST SAY IT. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK THIS MEANS AND WHAT YOU DID WITH HIM EXACTLY.'"

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 3/5

About: Did you guys ever read Witch Baby by Francesca Lia Block? You know that part where Witch Baby goes to find her mother, Vixanne, and finds a cult of lanka witches who eat candy all day and are obsessed with Jayne Mansfield? And My Secret Agent Lover Man's real name turned out to be Max? This is basically the bloodier, grown-up version of that story.

Samantha Mackey is an outsider at her elite MFA program. An edgy scholarship student, she hates the rest of her writing cohort, a group of beautiful rich girls who share a personality and call each other "Bunny." Instead, Samantha spends most of her time with her best friend, Ava, another rebellious outsider with an attitude she wishes she had. But when Samantha gets an invite to one of the Bunnies’ exclusive get-togethers, she ditches Ava and falls further into their world. It's sugar on the outside and violent creation on the inside, and the more time she spends with them, the less sure she is of what's real. Spoilers are under the cut. Trigger warnings: character death, animal death, violence, blood/gore, abduction, drug use, gaslighting, bullying, manipulation.

Thoughts: This is one of the trippiest books I've read in a while, and I feel like that alone is enough to recommend it for people who like that sort of thing. If you enjoy spending most of a novel going 'wtf is happening?' and still not being totally sure by the end, Bunny is probably worth a read for you. It's weird af and delights in its own weirdness, kind of like that edgy girl with the strange fashion choices from your MFA program-- ha, see what I did there? It's also good for fans of the dark academia subgenre, since it pulls no punches on satirizing elite graduate school creative writing programs. It's funny and occasionally spot-on. I'm less sure how it's going to work for the straightforward horror lovers or... anyone else, to be honest. It's a bit too weird for the mainstream and not nearly scary enough for the horror people, especially at the end.

This review is going to be all over the place because the book is a little all over the place, and it's hard to pin down any one thing that worked for me throughout the book. I like Awad's writing style, sort of poetic and cutting and funny and smart all at once. There's a lot of meta commentary in there about writing and the Work and graduate schools in general that's fun. I like the way the plot just sort of spikes into absurdity out of nowhere and heads start exploding. (You can decide for yourself whether or not that's a metaphor.) Pacing-wise, it's strange though. I was very interested in the set-up, but it lost me somewhere in the middle, and while the ending is a lot of fun, with at least one twist I didn't see coming, it's also a bit of a letdown--and the longer I thought about it, the more let down I was. More on that after the spoilers.

I'm honestly not sure which characters we're supposed to like. I think it's Samantha, as the main character (y'know, speaking of the edgy MFA girl), but I found it difficult to sympathize with her constant pity party and the way she deliberately isolates herself. It's clear early on that she doesn't hate the Bunnies so much as she’s wildly jealous of them, and to be honest, I found them a lot more interesting than Samantha. Yeah, they're also caricatures of Ivy League privilege, and I don't think we're supposed to like them, but as characters I found them really entertaining. (I'm also basically Creepy Doll--the one who looks too sweet and presents too feminine to love the effed up horror shit that I love--so make of that what you will). They cross a lot of lines with Samantha, but I never got the impression that her friendship with Ava was much healthier. Mixed feelings all around, but mixed feelings are some of the best to write about. It's the kind of book that keeps me thinking, and one I suspect I'll get something new out of each time I read, and I always appreciate that.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. TURN BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

I can't decide whether I want more explanation on the magic-stuff in this book or not. On the one hand, I think it works because it's vague, and there's nothing wrong with leaving magic systems open-ended when the magic isn't the point. On the other hand, I like answers, and I was hoping for a bit more. Initially, I thought the Bunnies were into some sort of occult ritual, but if Samantha could manifest all along, that pretty much knocks the wind out of that theory. Also, is the group-mind a real thing or a drug-induced hallucination?

I'm also not sure how I feel about the role Max plays in the story, and I liked it more when the cast was all female. I dislike that it's a man who turns the Bunnies on each other (so banal, Bunny) and does everything Samantha wants to do, including taking them down. In another iteration, I think we'd call this Big Dick Energy, but in this case, it feels like a cop-out to any real character development for Samantha and a setback on giving female characters agency. It doesn't make or break the book for me, but it left my feelings more lukewarm about the ending.

[pencilscratchins]

back to bother u again but!! could u tell us more about azula and the gf u made up for her? the gears in my mind are clicking and im tempted to write about them 👁

i will literally talk about them until you guys dont want to hear it and then, probably long after (also im sorry bc i think this is longer than the first one SKSK)

- so when sokka notices that azula is flustered by nasim, he immediately makes them go over and talk to her, and he spends the whole time talking about how “into lettuce” azula is.

- - nasim thinks she’s really gorgeous, obviously, and as soon as she opens her mouth and is a disaster-- nasim realizes she’s adorable and starts to flirt.

- - - azula basically shuts down like “fairest advisory, i hath never before tasted lettuce but i am well verse in tea pairings for--” sokkas like “why are you talking like an old timey pauper,”

- they get back to the house and sokka tells zuko about it and zuko immediately is like “well i have to meet the woman who has converted my sister into a human being,” 

- he goes with them the next day and abandons his fiancé as soon as they get there to have azula bring him to nasim.

- they find her and nasim is just like fuckin HUH

- - because from nasim’s perspective; the cute awkward girl who tried to talk to you panics when you flirt back and drags her nice, obviously bi sort of familiar looking friend away. aw bummer she left, but whatever that was fun. next day, shes back and this time; she’s with the leader of a fucking soverign country but he introduced himself as “lee” and he’s just as awkward as she is and my god, there’s two of them.

- - - zukos like awkwardly trynna find out if she likes girls while also trying not to lose his mind at azula breaking down. and nasims just like “how DO i respond to this.”

- while the gaangs out and about that night, azula runs into nasim and nasim asks her out to get tea because azula mentioned knowing about it and nasim’s never really gotten into it.

- - azula accepts because she loves knowing about things, and they really get along; like azulas telling stories about iroh being tea obsessed and making jokes and nasims like… actually laughing which has never happened with no threat of violence?? 

- - - and nasim is really enjoying herself because azula’s really funny and actually listens to her talk about the boring shit nasim’s into like the environment and agriculture and seems like genuinely interested (azula never really got to learn about that stuff since ozai always made her focus on military history)

- they part ways and azula finds her brother whos like where’d you run off to? 

- - when she tells them, sokkas like “thats was a date” and zukos like “lmao no that’s was not a date, you and i did that all the time when you were an ambassador!” and sokkas like “... yeah those were dates,”

- anyway, the rest of the gaang finds them and is like “what are you talking about” so zuko spills the beans which is when they all decide to get involved because azula’s like never dated.

- enter: mischief 

- after a week of them being there and seeing each other a lot between random happenstance and the gaang’s interference, nasim invites them all to go on a tour of her family farm (“however, under no circumstance is the avatar is allowed to come” aangs like “understandable and justified! have fun!”)

- - they go and single-minded azula gets really into the farm work which sends nasim’s heart a flutter because hot girl moving hay, helps cow give birth, error error. 

- - - they meet her family too, who mentions they’ve never seen nasim so excited about someone which the gaang is like “hell yeah you go azula” but then azula is like “oh FUCK”

- because of course, azula thinks that nasim if likes her, that means she doesn’t realize who azula is and as soon as she finds out, she will not be interested so she starts to self sabotage bc like that’s her nature.

- after being ghosted for a while, nasim is like “wtf i thought we had something going” and after azula’s talk with katara, she admits her identity and nasim is like “... and?”

- -  she’s like “i knew who you were since the second time we met.” “how?” “... well, you were with the fire lord, who you look exactly like and your name is azula. hop skip and a jump….”

- they start dating and do long distance for a little bit when their vacation ends and azula heads back to the palace, but azula surprisingly, keeps wanting to go back.

- - she has her own hang ups about abandoning zuko and leaving her old life behind, but eventually iroh helps her get through it (i imagine theyve repaired their relationship at this point and iroh’s apologized) so she decides she’s gonna stay until sokka and zuko’s wedding then she’s moving back to nasim’s town and really gonna give being a person a shot.

- (also, i think katara and aang bring nasim to the wedding as a sweet gift and its then azula realizes “oh fuck we really are friends”

IM SORRY ITS NOT MORE DETAILED im not the best writer, but i would love to see what other ideas anyone would have if you’d ever want to write about it 👉👈

[deepdonutkid]

Can I ask for multiple character break downs?👀

Well if I can, then would you please do one for Ada and one for Tommy and one for John

But if only one has to be done, then you can choose any one of these.

Thanks! <3

Thanks for the ask! 💞

Ada Thorne nee Shelby

How I feel about this character

Just love for her! She is adorable, strong, fierce, absolutely amazing! Ada and Polly are the best developed female character on the show. Mainly, because Tommy can’t fuck them, so they can’t be reduced to his love interest, which is such a good thing, because I love strong women. Makes me weak in my knees.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Freddie Thorne, Ben Younger, Jessie Eden, because Ada is bi, she just gives off that vibe, u know.

Somehow I prefer to read stuff with a female reader for her, more than a male reader for her. Because it’s either Freddie x Ada for me or Ada x female reader.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Lizzie, Polly, Ada and Linda are an amazing combination! She and Tommy have an interesting dynamic as well! I would have loved to see more John and Ada interactions, because they have not such a big age gap inbetween, so I think they are close. Especially after Ada got her child and John got married with Esme. Oh, Ada and Esme would have sooo much fun together. Esme would be like the sister Ada never had.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think her character changed a lot between season 1 and 2, because of Freddie’s death and also after she joined the business again. Sometimes when I make memes or the alignment charts, I have two icons for her, one from first season and one from third season, because I think she is one of the characters who changed the most through the series. First season Ada would do a lot of things different and more naive than third season Ada. Mainly, because she still believed in communism in season 1 and she somehow lost her faith after losing Freddie. Which is super understandable tho.

She acutally becomes wiser with age... unlike her brothers, who just do the same shit over and over again.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wished Ben hadn’t died, because they kill her lovers even fast than Tommys. WTF, right?

On the other hand I wished Ada talked some sense into Jessie, to NOT SLEEP WITH TOMMY THE WHORE SHELBY! Because Ada knows her brother very well and I think she genuinely liked Jessie, or she liked her enough to save her from the pain of being Tommy’s toy or pleasure doll.

And I’m still bitter about the way they killed of Freddie... but more about that later...

Tommy Shelby

How I feel about this character

Relationship status: It’s complicated!

Yes, well, I ramble about Tommy’s shit a lot. I know! He is still an intersting character and it’s so tempting to think about his actions in certain situations, but if I would meet him as a person- I would hate him from the bottom of my heart! <3

He is such an asshole all the time and when I first watched the show, I forgave him a lot he did to his siblings, because I was caught up with his good looks and the presentation of him being the good guy who does bad things to survive. But I spend some time to think about his actions and I noticed, he is an awful human being... to Polly, to his siblings, to his lover and actually to everyone. He might think he does all those mean things to archive a bigger goal, but he is just a gambling addict who can’t stop taking risks he isn’t even prepared for.

Shitty things Tommy has done over time:

Forcing his brother to marry somebody, John didn’t even know at that time, to end a feud, Tommy had started himself and only when it was in his favour to end it, he used John as pawn, so he could archive his plan. HOW FUCKED UP WAS THAT? Nobody seems to talk about this. It was fucking awful! And the way he did it was horrible to! Tommy said nothing to John until the very last moment, when they were already surrounded by enemies, so John couldn’t said no. It also shows, that Tommy thinks he is above his siblings. Tommy thought John wasn’t capable of chosing a wife for himself, so Tommy did that for him too. Even when John didn’t ask for this at all!

Destroying Ada’s relationship with Freddie and chasing his best friend out of town, just because... TOMMY WAS AGAINGST HIS SISTER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP. and yet he proclaimes to listen to woman and to give them a fair change. Maybe just not for our dear Ada!

Destroying Arthur’s marriage, because he kept dragging Arthur into shit, he wasn’t mentally stable enough for. Putting thoughts of rejecting Linda into Arthur’s head, by talking bad about Linda and making jokes about her any given time.

Sleeping with Lizzie over and over again, even when he knew she loved him and when she tried to get over him by dating someone new, he made the order to burn down the pub of Angel, humilated his family, and have him killed later.

Sleeping with Jessie, so he could use her

Humiliate Polly, when she was at her lowest, after Rueben had left her

Drag Michael into the illegal business after Polly begged him not to

Dragging Finn into all this shit after John died, because John wasn’t avaiable anymore

Calling Grace a whore, when they first met

Paying Lizzie in his head, even after she stopped being a sex worker

Helping a fascist

I could go on for a while, but you see my point here!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Nobody! I want to see him miserable and alone! Honestly I’m never going to read all these soft!Tommy fics or whatever, because they really don’t interest me. I don’t want to see him happy.

But go have fun people and write and read whatever you want!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Tommy and Lizzie, because they have a sexual relationship, which is not based on romance and I love this sad and depressing dynamic between them. It’s so interesting to write and read about.

Tommy and Ada are great in the show. I love their talks and Ada actually points out when Tommy is acting like a douche again.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have a lot... where should I start?

I get so annoyed, when I see Tommy shown as a twink, because the actor is just 1,70m... which is not small to me. I know a lot of men around that height and I think they are average and not small. Also a lot of men feel bad for not being tall enough, because everywhere in our society it’s normal to have a tall man and a small woman. And the way tall man or small man are sexualized in this alpha/omega thing or in a top/bottom dynamic is so... meh. It’s really uncomfortable to see how people try to push the patriarchal man-woman dynamic into same-sex relationships.

Tommy is a class traitor and a horrible husband.

Man, I could rant for hours, but I stop right here. Just remember, please don’t feel attacked, I don’t mean to attack you. Even if you write or draw... whatever with Tommy, I would never say something bad about this. Enjoy creating Tommy content, I will love to ignore it!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I was so disappointed when they killed Freddie, because those two could have had an interesting and compelling relationship. Freddie could have been a great frenemie. I put this here and on on Ada, because their marriage wouldn’t changed the plot as much as Freddies and Tommys friendship. Tommy would have been a way better person, if Freddie was around.

John Shelby

How I feel about this character

MY HUSBAND! I love him and he has never done anything wrong in his life.

Nah, John has many faults, but I still adore him as a character, because his faults are actually making the plot more interesting. I also read, that he and Tommy fight a lot, because John is more moral and has way more integrity than his older brother. It was just hinted in the show, but I love this side fact and I will base my whole characterisation this.

I love to write, draw and read stuff with him. He is my favorite character from Peaky blinders and my love will never die, even though he did.

Funny tho, when I first watched PB, I adored Tommy and was annoyed by John, but as I rewatched it I changed my mind about those two.

He had so much potential and I would spend all my money, which is not much, but the devotions counts, to see a spin-off with just John and his army of children.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Esme, because they are sooo cute together!

My OFC, because I love writing them.

Any reader, because I’m a sucker for John.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

All kinds of interactions with other characters and John are great! My favorite is John and Ada to be honest. But here are other dynamics I adore as well:

John & Polly, (she would help him a lot with the kids)

John & Arthur (they come to the garrison to drink and play cards, they talk a lot about their problems, deep bond here)

John & Tommy (in my head they are always fighting)

John & Lizzie, because they have a great friendship, and they helped each other a lot. She spend time with the kids and he gave her financial support, so she would quit her job, which she didn’t do, because she feared being all alone again, and she has trust issues) (I’m actually writing a fic about these two)

John & his kids (I’m soft for dad!John)

John & Michael (especially in season three, because John seems to be jealous of Michael)

My unpopular opinion about this character

John is not completely stupid. Well, he is certainly not smart, but he works in the betting shop, and Arthur does not, or not really, because Arthur is bad at math... John at least knows his numbers. And also Tommy chose him to be the legal bookie over the others, so John must do a good job there. He just never got a degree or something similar like Michael. Which is also a reason, why John seems to be bitter about Michael joining the business. Michael was put in a higher position than he did.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

This one is obvious... John should have survived.

[risingphoenix761]

Phoenix and the Kubrick-a-thon

Back in....February? March? Let's go with March. Anyway, back in March, I decided I needed to stop watching The Shining so goddamn much and instead try to branch out and expand my movie watching horizons. And instead of tackling the list of horror flicks I'd been putting together since August that's m i l e s long, I figured it wasn't too much of a leap to work my way through the rest of Stanley Kubrick's filmography. I mean, I'd only been watching The Shining relentlessly since September, right? And since I'm now halfway there (cue Bon Jovi), now seems like as good a time as any to ramble about it. No analysis, just opinions under a cut because this is going to take awhile. And because I like to torture myself, I'm going to try to pick my top moments.

The Shining

This stupid movie has infected my brain. Nowhere NEARLY as badly as the conspiracy theorists, but still. If we're close enough that I feel comfortable rambling at you, you've heard me mention this movie at least five times over the last eight months. I honestly can't remember my first opinion of it, but safe to say that it has CHANGED. Holy SHIT. This is a long ass movie that I feel absolutely none of the run time because there is always something going on. The camera work, the art direction, the music, the performances, all of it. I didn't find it all that scary or even creepy the first couple times I watched it, and now it gets to me more and more the more I come back to it. A full-on ramble could take up its own post, tbh. The geeking out and the occasional existential crisis and the rampant enthusiasm are too much to cram into one paragraph. The long and short of it is, it's pretty safe to say this is one of my favorite movies.

Top moments: 95% of the movie if we're serious but Danny riding the big wheel, Jack walking to the Gold Room, the Bat Scene™, "Here's Johnny" (ofc)

A Clockwork Orange

Funny story, I ended up watching this for the first time after a friend of mine told me something I wrote reminded her of this movie. If you've seen it, you can imagine the WTF running through my head afterwards. And somehow, it's even more fucked up on a revisit. It's interesting to note this is Kubrick's low budget movie, because it seems to be one of the first that comes up when talking about his body of work. IDK, that's just amusing to me. Visually, it's a trip. Thematically, it's a doozy. Which is worse, a violent individual committing all sorts of atrocities for fun, or state sanctioned violence that strips an individual of their free will? The cinematography and design are, again, distinctive, but what sticks out the most to me is Malcolm MacDowell's performance. He's despicable but charismatic and I want to look away but I just. Can't. Do. It. I loathe Alex and his crimes are horrifying, but I don't enjoy watching him get his comeuppance, and yet the way it's portrayed is all horribly mesmerizing/surreal/cartoonish. A tough watch, but a brilliant film.

Top moments: Alex and his droogs' first meeting with the drunk, Alex's second meeting with the writer

Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

I'm a big fan of irony, so I dug this movie. I also don't think I've watched anything that made me facepalm more. It's just so ABSURD. And by highlighting the absurdity, it makes it easier to laugh at what is truly a horrifying concept. In summary, one nut job decides to launch a nuke and jump start nuclear war because he has a weird conspiracy theory, and the most powerful figures on the world stage are utterly incompetent to stop it. It's frustrating as hell, and fucking hilarious, and that ending is just the icing on the cake. As far as comedies go, this one is DARK.

Top moments: "You can't fight in here! This is the war room!" and any time Peter Sellars is on screen.

Full Metal Jacket

*sigh* Y'know, if you've seen one war movie, you've pretty much seen them all. That said, it does feel like two different movies, though it still didn't do much for me. At this point in my watch-a-thon, though, I'd picked up enough of Kubrick's style to read it, in terms of what the camera is doing and how character arcs progress, which was pretty cool. However, I reeeeaaaally don't understand why I've only heard this movie mentioned as being an uber-macho, by-dudes-for-dudes flick about guys being dudes, because....that is NOT the reading I got. If it's not Sgt. Hartman during basic training, then it's the door gunner shooting down random civilians or the Marines being interviewed that seem to hammer in the idea that war breaks down your humanity and leaves you a mindless killing machine. It's easy to see Hartman as the antagonist of the first half, and very hard to sympathize with the soldiers in the second, and unless I'm missing something in my reading, that's how it's supposed to be. Which gives the ending more of an impact, if you ask me, when one last killing is, given the situation, the most humane action that could be taken. Not a bad movie, but not my cup of tea.

Top moments: Private Pyle's...er...DOR, and Joker's response to the sniper reveal

The Killing

Back to our good friend Irony. This is one of Kubrick's earlier movies, and it shows quite a bit in the mechanics of the film. The story itself, on the other hand... I don't really have too much to say about this one. It's a straightforward heist movie with some fun moments and some aspects that just don't work very well. I was occasionally entertained, and occasionally bored. I'll give points for the ending, though, as I couldn't stop laughing until the credits were over. Again, the IRONY.

Top moments: the final scene

Lolita

Watching this was easily one of the ickiest viewing experiences I've had so far, full stop. Made even worse by the fact that this is a good movie. Which makes it really. Frigging. Hard. To talk about. You probably know at least the general premise of one of thee Problematic™ novels some people love to wring their hands over, and in case you don't: a middle aged man becomes obsessed with his landlady's young daughter, and it gets gross fast. Apparently there was all kinds of trouble adapting it in a way that appeased the censors, and gee whiz, I wonder why. It's also one of those cases when working backward from a twist actually works. The cast is excellent, and while I'd never heard of Peter Sellars before starting this watch project, I might have to look up more of his work, because dude can steal a scene. All in all, a beautifully made and perfectly nauseating flick. I mean, damn.

Top moments: the opening scene, Charlotte finding Humbert's diary

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that'll wrap it up for now. Only six more to go!

[ruhrohimrorny]

What Subjects I Think LOK Characters Would Teach:

Lin: PE, obviously. Dating Kya and all the kids are happy cause there’s a noticeable shift in Lin’s mood once they start dating. She no longer forces kids to run a mile every day and instead does it once a week now, so the kids are hoping her and Kya stay together. She also coaches Golf and Lacrosse.

Kya: Waffled between MILF Math teacher, MILF Science teacher, and hippy/chill Music teacher, but decided on MILF Science Teacher. Getting strong Biology vibes. Very fun labs and not strict at all. Her and Zhu-Li are super passionate about leading the Science Bowl team. Seeing these young people be so passionate about STEM and helping their fellow teammates makes her hopeful for this young generation.

Tenzin: He kinda gives math teacher vibes, but a large part of his character in the show is about him keeping his history alive, and teaching others abut learning and respecting history, so I feel like he’s a History teacher. His class is a lot of notetaking but he plays quiet music and does a five minute meditation in the middle of class to encourage kids to relax, so students really like him and actually listen to him. Also, he’s kind of gullible so they make up fake trends to tell him. He once spent a week addressing people as “brony” cause students told him thats what people say now instead of bro. Kids got a good laugh out of that one. Him and Pema are another favorite teacher couple.

Bumi II: Def gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes. Very interesting and informative conversations in his class, but things get off topic very quickly. Whenever kids ask about Bum-Ju, he gets distracted and will talk the entire rest of the period about what to dress Bum-Ju up as for Halloween. Probably plays a lot of videos. And students don’t worry about if they read the books Bumi II assigns cause they don’t think he’s even read the books he assigns. When having discussions about the books in class, sometimes kids will make up stuff and say it’s in the book and for the most part, Bumi II goes along with it cause he doesn’t know what actually happens in the books.

Varrick: Also gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes, but because he’s a businessman/war profiteer, I’m gonna have to say he teaches Econ and gives students lots of unsolicited financial advice. Also supervises the Engineering and Robotics Club.

Zhu-Li: Science teacher, probably Chemistry. She’s very good at explaining and getting kids to follow her instructions. Not only is she a co-supervisor for the Science Bowl team, she helps Varrick run Engineering and Robotics Club, cause if it were only Varrick running it, no kids would come. His intensity and eccentricity scares them.

Iroh II: He’s definitely the young Math teacher everyone has a crush on. Very chill and doesn’t give a lot of homework. Kids love when he shows pictures of his dog to the class and eventually he brings in the dog cause admin think the dog is too cute to say no to.

Tonraq: Resident DILF History teacher. Kind of a hardass but also a nice dude so most everyone passes his class. Probably that History teacher that is also a football coach, so during fall he doesn’t give a FUCK about whether anyone actually turns anything in. Him and Senna is the teacher couple that seems like opposites but actually are pretty similar and balance each other out.

Senna: That English teacher that every mentally ill student becomes emotionally attached to. You know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, funny, and chill so all the kids love her class. Tries to include memes in her presentations to seem “with it” but they’re like, doge memes from 2014. But the kids appreciate the effort.

Pema: Definitely the sweet English teacher that occasionally has a mental breakdown when the students test her patience. Otherwise very chill. Also teaches the Childhood Education and Development class. Her, Senna, and Bumi II run the school newspaper.

Bataar: Drafting. Pretty chill, very skilled, and def smokes on the weekend. Also, him and Suyin are that teacher couple that everyone likes.

Suyin: Dance. Super nice and always has like to of those smelly plug in things going so her room smells good and has a “good vibe that evokes emotion”. Always plays EDM or weird 80s rock to get the kids moving. She runs the school dance team. When Bataar has prep period, he sometimes drops in to see Su dance, cause she’s mesmerizing to watch. All the kids think that, coupled with the fact that they eat lunch together every day, makes them the cutest couple ever.

Amon: Drama. He loves directing kids on how to totally live a role. If you can imagine, he sometimes gets a little overdramatic about drama, forgetting that these are just highschool kids, not Oscar winners, but his passion makes the class more enjoyable. Runs Drama Club with Tarrlok.

Tarrlok: Probably Physics. A difficult class, but he’s pretty good at explaining so most kids don’t struggle too much. His main focus is running student government, which he takes pretty seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

Unalaq: Teaches Psychology. The most pretentious teacher on campus. It’s literally so bad, that even other teachers avoid him. Amon abandoned his coffee still being brewed in the machine in the staff room cause Unalaq walked in and he didn’t want to be in a room with Unalaq again after he said that Amon’s outfit “looked like something stolen from the lost and found of a funeral home”. Unalaq sees it as “telling it like it is”.

Zaheer: Government and Politics. Tries to teach the class very well but also injects his own opinion into teaching a lot. The students find him scary but some also kinda think he’s hot. Also does Yearbook. Him and Senna run Mock Trial. Replaced the old Government and Politics teacher Hou-Ting after she retired. She was that one old teacher that made it a hobby to harrass students and constantly reminisced about when you could smack students.

P’Li: Math teacher. Much scarier than Zaheer. Plays her trash ass music very loudly while the kids work. Def yells at kids. She’s kind of funny when she’s in a good mood tho, and when she roasts kids it’s really funny cause it’s usually dead on. Her and Zaheer are those teachers that flirt a lot and you know they’re sleeping together.

Ming-Hua: Art. Loves drawing and, you guessed it, watercolor painting. Very chill and plays soft music but lets you listen to your own music. Super sarcastic and all the students eat it up. Literally a universal favorite. She runs Art Club and Fashion Club.

Ghazan: Guitar. Pretty cool teacher that definitely has some weird stories. All the students know he has a crush on Ming-Hua cause they flirt constantly, but he denies it. Runs E-Sports Club. Idk why I think that, it just feels right. Him and Ming-Hua are also the kinds of teachers kids become emotionally attached to.

Kuvira: Government and Politics also. Seems calm and reasonable, but is a total ass. Makes kids give up their phones, allows almost no talking, gives out more detentions a week than most teachers do in one year, and doesn’t allow for much discussion. Everyone wants her class cause she’s hot but most drop within the first week, to the point that counselors have to say no to some kids so they don’t have to get rid of the class altogether.

Bataar Jr.: Computer Lit teacher. None of the students respect him so they’ll play Minecraft the whole time or play inappropriate videos really loud. Doesn’t really put much effort into teaching, which for some kids is a dream, but for others is an annoyance. Him and Kuvira are the teacher couple that makes everyone say “wtf”. Literally no one knows why they’re together.

Izumi: Secretary/Attendance. Pretty much remembers everything and is super organized. She is the glue that holds the school together. Most students don’t know her name though cause she’s super quiet and works mostly behind the scenes. Whenever Zuko sends anyone her way though he reminds them of her name and to say thank you cause he recognizes how hard his daughter works to keep everything running smoothly. Izumi catches on to this and always manages to thank her dad with a nice tea and a hug.

Toph: Vice Principal. Scary as fuck. Doesn’t ever call kids’ parents cause she efficiently scares the shit out of every kid, so they never do whatever bad thing they were doing again. When she has to work dances, Katara always tries to get her to dance with her. She resists every time, but she always gives eventually. She’s happy to though, cause although she’ll never say it out loud, seeing Katara this happy at her old age warms her heart.

Katara: Health Clerk. Very sweet and everybody loves her. Sometimes kids pretend to feel sick just to talk to her. She doesn’t mind though cause a kid that has a tummy ache and a kid that needs to talk are both kids that need help, and she’s happy to offer whatever support she can. She also always offers to supervise dances when the school has them and always manages to bust a move.

Zuko: Counselor. Wants to be to students what his uncle was to him. Aang and Sokka were counselors too, some years ago. And while they could give some good nuggets of advice and offered the kids amazing support, they also would totally fuck up student’s schedules by accident cause those numbskulls were exactly that- numbskulls. So usually Zuko would have to fix that. He misses fixing their messes and, more importantly, he misses them (they aren’t dead, just retired). He hopes to retire soon too, cause he’s getting too old for this, but he secretly doesn’t want to retire just yet cause working at school allows him to see and spend time with Izumi. Since they’re both working, it’s not like they have too much time together, but even just her popping into his office to bring him tea or check in on how he’s doing that day brings a smile to his face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

Raiko: Principal. After Toph stepped down cause she’s “too old for this shit” (her words), Raiko stepped in. The students aren’t a fan of him but he’s not terrible. And since Toph is still Vice Principal, she keeps him in check.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters. 

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late. 

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once. 

hachikireru by vaudelin  (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America. 

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!