#which is all kinda ironic in a way
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ok honestly idc if jinx is dead or secretly alive and just left. the point is, they couldn't find a nice clean way to give her a happy, or even a decent, ending so they just. didn't bother LOL. they couldn't be bothered to fix the piltover/undercity drama because that's hard and isnt a cool epic music video and it can't just be fixed with a timelapse so they didn't.
they didn't keep jinx around because caitvi could never work otherwise (realistically, unless they force it like that sex scene bc why tf are you having sex in a jail cell (which side side note i can't imagine vi would Ever feel comfortable enough for sex inside a jail cell considering she spent 7 years in a piltover one) when your sister was talking like she's suicidal. why aren't you looking for her?)
they just gave up and were like. whatever just write jinx out of the script. we dont know how to give a mentally ill girl a decent ending and we also don't know how to resolve social conflicts so we won't. here's another music video and here's an epic montage instead. it was like they didn't feel like writing any more story and wanted to just get the whole thing over with and if something couldn't be fixed with a montage they didn't bother
#arcane s2#i honestly dont even care that much abt the show bc im not rly into league or any of these characters#but its a shame bc s1 was interesting but s2 they just gave up and chased after whatever new plot points would be#the most Action Packed and Shocking#instead of the more “boring” stuff like developing their social conflict they set up#which is all kinda ironic in a way#the undercity gets ignored for being difficult and it gets brushed under the rug. just like all the difficult parts of the narrative LOL
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random throwback to fabio's response to casey saying he should've been black flagged for the whole open leathers situation
#'he is at home and he likes to fish' is truly superb#//#brr brr#heretic tag#current tag#i was reminded of this in a very roundabout way... seeing a social media graphic celebrating fabio making q2#which is like. yes that's nice. but that's also inherently extremely depressing lbr#and i was kinda thinking how... look obviously people don't ignore it and yes the novelty has worn off after last year#but it feels like what's happened to fabio should STILL be getting more attention than it is. like it is a major injustice#that also no past stars of the sport are regularly having hot takes about! they mostly just ignore him!#i do sometimes link casey and fabio in my head. roughly the same age gap to the all-time-great hazing them during their rookie seasons#the only riders within their manufacturers able to wring performance out of their bikes over the course of several seasons#who suffered a competitive decline as their manufacturers went the wrong way#now obviously casey's 2010 is nowhere close to as abysmal as fabio's 2024 but. y'know. and at least casey got to leave for pastures greener#anyway given all that. it is funny that like their one significant interaction is fabio dismissing casey as a fisher#which ironically is of course a deeply casey line. casey had a whole thing about how retired riders should maybe know to stfu#“i have seen the real face of some with whom i had a good relationship” EXTREMELY casey line#and thus the cycle of life continues#(though casey was obviously right here lol)#ofc the main difference between the pair of them is that fabio at heart is a lover and casey is. not that
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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been feeling much better these past few days
not drawing for a while actually fixed me
ill probably still take some time to get posting again (maybe somewhere next week) , but but ive come to terms w a lot of stuff w myself and have been practicing
#ill try to start posting more about my other interests rather than just sticking to one :3#been feelig a lot better these past days as well- even though i have a cold rn which is kinda ironic#also also ill be reblogging posts on my side blog stance-dance as to not spam my blog#ill still keep the older rbs i have on here though :3#anyways#on the topic of posting more about my interests- i figured thatd be way healthier for me since it feels as if i dont have to force myself to#draw the same thing over and over again#so expect some blocktales art soon :3#or you can check out my pronouns.cc page to check out what i might post >:3#just a small lil announcement but i thought id upd you guys#thank you for all the support <33#anonslash's ramblings
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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#still think abt the time an (adult) male relative told me (when i was 10) that I 'needed to lose weight or no man would ever find me sexy'#which IDK feels like a shitty thing to say to anyone but especially a girl who had yet to even reach puberty lmao#and who wasn't even That overweight at the time Nor had body image issues until that moment going forward lol#ironically... I ended up having some ED issues and gained a bunch of weight from then on#mainly bc i had some CSA trauma in my early childhood way before that conversation so I internalized the idea#that if I was fat no man would give me unwanted attention#however... this thought process (on top of other things) led me to believe for almost my entire life that no man would find me attractive#or like me or love me at ALL unless I either lose a bunch of weight and maybe not even then#which is kinda why I'm overall uninterested in men even if the attraction is technically there?#I lost interest in even male Friendships tbh bc i internalized this idea that no man would be interested in me even platonically 🤔#anyway. just something I'm working through in therapy but every once in a while I wonder why it's so hard for me to lose weight#and then I remember... ah yes.. '✨trauma✨' lol#funky's personal tag#delete later probs#anyway. I can't really talk about this stuff easily outside of therapy irl so I just be yelling into the void sorry guys :(
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Something about Altered Loyalties CYLAS just really makes me want to include him in the first place but also makes me really really REALLY think that with the more supernatural elements of AL based off of the original TFP pilot (or just first episode/s?) that CYLAS as a ‘dead man walking’ would actually let him stay around longer AND also be a very significant contributing factor to Megatron’s downfall in Decepticon favour!
Of course it’s not as if I have the pieces of the TFP rewrite au firmly put into place, CYLAS in canon shows up just over halfway into season 2, and many of my most established changes occur in the first like… including all the parts of ‘Darkness Rising’ 8 episodes of season one; I have no idea if the environment CYLAS presents himself in is the same one canon CYLAS does.
But with the dubiousity between s1 e8 all the way to s2 e19, I’ll establish the basic context… I think in story mode maybe…
Looking at the general timeline for the Aligned Continuity, it says that the first contact of cybertronians on Earth is dated to about 500 years before the show, give or take a decade. I’ve been listing Skyquake’s little EHP pitstop to have existed at least 50 years before the war reached our planet, but what if I pushed it all the way back to 500; if a vorn is 83 years, that’d be about 6 years on an entirely different planet not knowing truly if your twin is going to make it, a planet which by the way presently has no established radio systems that it’s horrifically quiet for a terrestrial environment.
That means that Skyquake’s EHP Comms Array has been transmitting a signal long before humans had developed radio, which also means that what might’ve been blatantly an anomaly in the system if discovered 50 odd years previous to 2012 (which would’ve been in the 60s give or take which would not have been good in the literal middle of the cold war era) has been going for centuries because it had always been there, there is no anomaly because it is a signal that has existed ever since humans were able to manipulate radiowaves into sending messages and translate them into detectable noise. It helps that cybertronian language and code (both code lang and like literal programming code) is a system unknown to humans developing their own language.
And you may be asking, why did I divert this post from talking about CYLAS and how he’d outlast his canon alternate to radio shit? Well, if you were a paramilitary organisation who is pretty good at erasing signals and you discovered a signal that has been actively running for the entirety of human radio has suddenly been silenced, what would you begin to suspect at that?
Aliens may potentially be a stretch but MECH didn’t just name themselves after the cybertronians fighting war on their planet, and once the cybertronian conflict touched down on Earth, the Decepticons hadn’t a need for an intergalactic communications array and in fact was specifically instructed to switch it off in an effort to prevent the Autobots from using it. That would’ve been about maybe 6 years ago for the show (wow just enough equivalent time to match what Skyquake felt he spent grounded to one radio tower look at that) and though MECH would not encounter their first cybertronian until ‘Convoy’ (haha wait that’s s1 e9 the next ep to cover - if necessary - for Altered Loyalties lmao), they would’ve had 6 years to find that missing signal and stumble across some very definitely alien technology.
That is one of the reasons why the rewrite of ‘Masters and Students’ which is less masters and students focused - rather the point is Skyquake, a team of Nemesis stationed vehcions and Starscream investigate the comms array and set it up manually - why the radio tower wasn’t switching on from a remote position.
The other reason was because the Guardian unit stationed at the comms array - the very ones that had accompanied Skyquake all those stellar cycles ago - had gone missing. Why?
Because of Megatron’s flagrant use of Dark Energon.
Points 1 and 2 listed above leads to the explosion of the comms array, the death of Skyquake, and MECH either being alerted to the point of alien contact or just in general going to the site for more study only to find a dead specimen. After the discovery of the Autobots with the body of Skyquake, MECH begins their initial study and dissection of cybertronian physiology, though without a live subject they couldn’t exactly see what parts function in what way, especially the t-cog.
The discovery of Skyquake led to the discovery of terrorcons which lead to the discovery of how to take down a cybertron and how to take it apart without it screaming. MECH would learn the programming of a cybertronian through vehicon terrorcons since, even with DE corruption, their processors are still somewhat being maintained. While probably not able to access memories (they are fickle things, memory centres, easy to damage storage or to corrupt files) there are still systems responsible for pain and other more processor based responsibilities that aren’t centred in a physical organ that reads in fine print it’s function.
Breakdown being MECH’s first fully functional living mecha for their study is so exciting for them (even if Breakdown is very much less enthused) because they can put what knowledge they’ve pieced together to be far more efficient with their time and focus on the elements they could not decipher from either corpse or zombie and potentially try and prod at Breakdown’s brain for some cohesive coding. Good think Bulkhead still shows up when he does even with Breakdown walking away with the dreadful thought of ‘how the hell do these fleshies already know so much’ boring into his head… mainly through the optic that was still drilled out-
Whether or not MECH needs to get another living cybertronian to get caught up in their understanding of the biomechanics of them (aka would 'Operation: Bumblebee' take place as it does) or they skip right onto making a remote control Prime having gotten a headstart on their knowledge and scaring the scrap out of any bot unlucky enough to be unconscious around them, eventually Silas gets smooshed and MECH scientists are reliant on their alien dissections to get the human puree back to the land of the living.
I'd assume that this was the case in the original since if Silas' biomatter was able to be collected from a pile of robot drone induced rubble the RC truck would've been able to be recovered as well, but MECH discovers that using Nemesis Prime as a lifesupport system does not work given all it's functionality is focused on visually replicating another cybertronian, rather than using it to create life. There's a lot of parts and systems to a cybertronian's biological ecology that wasn't put into consideration for a mimic toy that prove detrimental to creating a suitable ah... skin suit essentially for Silas' blood pudding, but MECH has an abundance of corpses ready and raring to be used just so long as they piece them back together again.
Amid MECH's collection would no doubt be a mass of vehicon bodies - some untouched by energon others taken down explicitly by MECH because they were terrorcons - some terrorcons made up from the bodies of the previous conflict pre-show (and not just a hypothetical ancient war, but explicitly the conflict that culled a lot of Autobot and Decepticon officers amid the show expected vehicon death), and the very first cybertronian sample they started studying, Skyquake himself! Being at the origin of the blast at the EHP Comms Array he wasn't kept in perfect condition for one, the arm he loses as a terrorcon in the Shadowzone is still lost - it's been buried under rubble after being severed with radio tower pieces - and the monochromatic glass over his optics has long since been shattered so you can see the 'pupil' aka sensor, but seeing as how CYLAS makes Breakdown's corpse somehow look worse than what Airachnid left it as MECH probably has to suture that fucker back up because there's not way his organs have been left untouched!
And once CYLAS has been successfully integrated into his new cybertronian shell (some sort of arm, either being a loaner from another corpse or straight up just one MECH invented, it could even be a copy of the missing arm but where's the fun in that) instead of getting all high and mighty about 'being of a superior species' Silas actually bloody thinks on MECH's plans going forward. With a literal army of paramilitary personnel, from the scientists that melded human flesh with cybertronian wires to the average grunt soldier fighting between the battles of iron giants, CYLAS has something that Megatron (at least the Altered Loyalties Megatron I have written previously) has wanted from the start of the series...
An undying force.
For as large as cybertronians physically are their numbers can never match the scale of humanity, I can't remember if the books mentioned only thousands of the dead or up to a million over the course of like... a long fucking time but, that's not even the number of the human population if you're caught up with the number (nearly 8 billion alive today). And with the dead of previous battles already roaming the Earth, in a world where Megatron still being only like one dude can't command a planet wide population of zombies, the only reason he doesn't turn his blade to the weakest denominators of his forces in his plagued state is because their conscious decision to serve him is worth more than mindless servitude.
CYLAS introducing himself and MECH as a solution to this issue, and providing a show of bountiful body horror, makes not even the Decepticon high command quite as safe as they had been; not that it's been proven to be safe standing by Megatron's side given his track record of wanting his SiCs beaten or killed but...
The fact that CYLAS just so happened to have given and then promptly brutalised Dreadwing's hope that Skyquake may have been actually alive, just severely damaged (and, bond weakened from distance and prior injury, clinging to the last shreds of 'my spark didn't kill me with him' reasoning) and broke him out of the spell of blind loyalty to his once great leader.
CYLAS in this version has a little bit more longevity to his existence within the Decepticon forces, not actually a Decepticon soldier as the canon CYLAS pledged himself as but 'The Human Factor' the episode so calls itself akin to the way the American government and the human children are to the Autobots, but being able to physically go toe-to-toe with cybertronians. Megatron might be a little tired of dealing with independents after Airachnid's escapade (I do intend to make her more into a poacher/torturer type character than another Starscream so she might act out a little differently), but Silas isn't one for licking boots anytime soon and as CYLAS, Megatron is no different; you'd think he wouldn't have even done that in the first place given he's already an ex-military 'take-no-nonsense' bitch, but the Breakdown in him probably made him a lapdog...
Anyway that's a whole big post about Altered Loyalties CYLAS... or at least the in depth reasoning behind why he could still integrate himself into the story and why he'd probably have more opportunity to lasting- i prommy it's not bc i like torturing skyquake likers *wink*
I guess this is now a canon event or at least I'll try to make it canon ;)
#silas#silas tfp#leland bishop#CYLAS#tfp CYLAS#MECH#tfp MECH#should i tag other characters? if they're mentioned they're mostly just gonna be corpses#eh whatever this is a MECH post mostly so whatever#transformers#tfp#tfp au#altered loyalties#maccadam#realising that the altered loyalties tag does not include my first post despite me tagging it fuck off#eh whatever the search for it ironically works fine for some fucking reason#the funny thing about rewriting tfp unlike any other rewrite au is that#this starts off pretty fucking immediately since skyquake has been on earth conscious for 500 years he is already in the show#which is different from other rewrite aus like the starscream rewrites (in shadowzone when he stabs himself with dark energon/wakes up)#or knock out rewrites (either operation breakdown the episode after or even all the way to crossfire in season 2)#rewrite fanfic readers who recognise those beginnings- i wink at you#it does mean that there are fundamental changes literally immediately that i have to consider in relation to the whole series#and how it would effect later events that i might like to include but potentially can't#thirst is a really fun episode- have no idea if it'd be able to show up in the first place#but because i couldn't care for the human factor as an episode and more so about the concept of CYLAS himself well- it was easy to separate#he conceptually fits in with the zombies i thought were going to be a main focus for the series back when i was first watching tfp#it got me hyped up in a way that um... it's not like i don't like tfp but my experience from the pilot to the experience i have with the#show is um very different- not in a bad way but i thought it was very cool to do the zombie thing#but the show didn't go that route until the movie when the supernatural elements were kinda... restrained by that point#anyway back to CYLAS- introducing him to a story where this megatron is a little more obsessed with undead armies
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here's a fun game to play: did i actually hear that song from somewhere or did i dream about it and can literally never hear it again except in my head?
#WHERE ARE THESE NOISES FROM#im no musician in fact i hated piano lessons so dam much but i dream up songs surprisingly often#and theyre always so cool or moving or whatever and tHEN I DONT REMEMBER THEM#ive got maybe one which i recorded after waking up#argh...it makes me mad#if nothing else i want to see all my dreams when i die like some kinda spotify wrapped except my dreams#if anyone knows of a lyric that goes something like 'if you dont know then i dont know' in a kinda...soft? sweater weather kinda way#PLEASE LET ME KNOW BECAUSE I IRONICALLY VERY MUCH DONT KNOW#also is it just me or does phantom of the opera sound like a different song#or maybe theyre the same and i just never knew it was phantom#im pretty sure it was a male singer#it couldve been if you dont/wont go then i wont go#or somethign like that#ARGHRIHUTH
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Me when I make a character who's supposed to feel dangerous and set off the alarm bells in your brain and yet again make them tall, very lanky, wiry and bony with protruding bones, and give them blond/white (usually long) hair and themes of nature/flowers:
#come on this cant keep happening#to be fair Chatterbird specifically does not fit ALL of those#because shes black haired and short and her colour is red and she has no connection to nature#but i think thats because shes a mastermind and a revenge girl and not a fanatic unlike the rest#all the others are fanatics in one way or another. Zed is a fanatic. Osob is a fanatic (Osob is actually the only one who fits all of these#EXCEPT for the bony part (hes average but i suppose on the slightly thinner side) and i guess thats because hes not supposed to#feel TOO dangerous? plus hes dressed from head to toe i havent exactly thought about his body type). 'Osob' is a fanatic.#Dar is a fanatic. Adabdo is a fanatic in a way#i thought i escaped the whole deal when it came to Adabdo but you see red and wolf motif are already taken so i went with green#(her/his vallaslin) and plants/thorns because well. s/he does have a mythal vallaslin. which is deeply ironic because s/hes a thorn and not#a tree. which is the vallaslin of elgar'nan (and i probably spelled that wrong)#and uh since wolf motif is like. a thing in this game. i went with elks. because of chronic wasting disease. and antlers are sharp#and kinda creepy. and the velvet on them sheds and coats you in red. and an elk will obliterate you.#i originally went with green because well the game does push you towards that colour and also haha the green of radiation. because Adabdo i#a deeply toxic life-threatening presence. s/he glows bright green and your skin peels right off your flesh and falls to the floor#but with the addition of the elk motif it also becomes nature-related. so. i have done it once again. why does this keep happening
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It's kinda funny how scattershot my approach to the 2D games has been lol.
AM2R: Beat, 100%
Zero Mission: Beat but haven't/won't complete percentage
Metroid: Completed percentage but haven't beat
Dread: Working on it
What a skip lol
I want to play Super and Fusion and the other two versions of Metroid II properly, I've watched enough playthroughs to have a good feel for them but it's no replacement for actually experiencing them myself. But I do think I want Return Of Samus to be the last one, (until future releases anyway) but not in a "putting off the worst until all other options are exhausted" way, more a "saving the best for last" way. I already know I'll love it for the story and how that's conveyed, but I want it to be special.
#not a reblog#metroid#honestly I feel like I kinda screwed myself in a way#by going straight into AM2R#which isn't as advanced as Dread#but still benefits from all the advances up to the GBA era#plus a bit of extra polish on top courtesy of fan love#and on one hand I kinda needed a good first impression#to sell me on the feel of playing 2D#when my prior experience was the Prime trilogy#but on the other hand I think I chose something a little too good#and that definitely impacted Zero Mission for me#(I still get mad thinking about the Kraid fight)#and I know Super is gonna be a pain to go back to too#ironically I had a pretty good time with original Metroid#up until the escape sequence at the end#but playing it via Planets probably helped#I want to take a break before I do Return Of Samus#a long one#so that I can come at it fresh as possible#and doing it last still gives it a place of honor#since first is no longer an option#(in fairness my options were limited when I started AM2R)#zero mission#metroid zero mission#metroid planets#am2r#metroid dread
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docm77 should be playing steve. if he said he yearned for the mines i'd actually believe him
#99.txt#it just seems so.... like the ppl making it only know ABOUT the game and have never seriously played it....#why is the chicken cooker set up like that.... its like theres trapdoors under it but also theyre way too thin#pick one...#youve got multiple elytra but no enderman farm ???? what ARE you doin ???#this seems like the kinda shit theyre gona turn on a redstone lamp and be like whooaaaaa thats crazyyyyyy#they could be doin slime block machines and stuff....#and why have you like terraformed around a village but not really built your own structures at all..... just living in the normal village#hes clearly there to introduce the other characters to the minecraft world but he sucks at minecraft....#sorry i just like minecraft a lot and hate this#if hes already spent that much time in the end he should be rich and shit like why is he even using iron tools....#even by cheap comedy's standards. they had the opportunity to have him live in some crazy Mega Build skyscraper#and be full of diamonds and end rods and have cool farms and stuff#and theres something there#and like ok if you wanted him to be a rustic character. I GUESS. but then why is he simultaneously that AND ''the pro''#the thing isnt out yet so. i cant say this 100% but#why does it seem like theres NO manmade structures ??? i said this already but ????#thats like. THE thing you do in minecraft ?????#hes playing it like someone who plays casually for 2 hours and then never again#like theyve clearly had no input from anyone whos serious about the game#which is so weird bcause they ARE promoting thru minecraft youtubers and stuff#so obviously they KNOW that ppl get serious about it ??? why not take inspiration from that AT ALL
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Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).
I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.
So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.
#text post#incoherent rambling#project update#game project#I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too#It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know?#I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult#either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about#which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀#or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague#truly a balancing act writing is#kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members#which makes things both more and less difficult???#on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔#I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary#the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film#funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg#but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it#still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason#I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning#ugh writing is HARD#but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles#I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo#and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring#I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums#the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age#anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this#hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀
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following on from this. not to always bring marc into everything (sorry marc) but if assen 2015 had happened against jorge, valentino would have very likely pulled something similar again imo. rather than what he actually did, which is approach marc almost immediately for a nice normal friendly handshake and backing off during the podium celebrations. should be noted that during laguna seca '08, valentino was very much committed to yapping at casey on the podium with the world's biggest smuggest grin on his face
partly that disparity is because jorge not marc was the direct title rival, partly it's because valentino was treating marc with kid gloves right until the second that he wasn't, which marc was seemingly entirely oblivious to. if anyone other than marc had said what he said in that presser, had then continued on with similar rhetoric during sachsenring, valentino would quite likely have gone nuclear. he's done it over less than that. his fondness for marc made him continue to exhibit uncharacteristic restraint... except that fondness unfortunately is what left valentino feeling so very betrayed when (to his eyes) marc could not leave well enough alone
#it's so delightfully tragic isn't it. a lot of 2015 played out the way it did because valentino genuinely wasn't looking for beef#but then felt backed into a corner and decided he had no other option than to blow this shit up#if casey says 'what I think is that we won the race' valentino would've torn him a new one then and there like...#if sete had called assen his best race of the season valentino would've reached for the chalk and incense even sooner#though fwiw I do think the relationship was basically doomed from that point. something would have happened sooner or later#2015 is so funny conceptually because there was already something *off* about it most of the way through. you have the familiar beats#but they shouldn't be HAPPENING with marc. they should be happening with the actual title rival - who vale never properly fought all season#assen 2015 should've been laguna should've been catalunya hell it should've been assen 2004 but it couldn't be#valentino kept accidentally inflicting the psychological blows on the wrong guy because jorge just refused to end up in a straight fight#assen SHOULD have been a pivotal race. but of course it couldn't be because what psychological blow was jorge lorenzo being dealt?#btw the unwillingness to beef doesn't just extend to marc. valentino makes a concerted effort to be uncharacteristically friendly to jorge#still think he would've rubbed assen in his face but. overall! he was trying! which again. very ironic#funhouse mirror ass season i love it dearly#//#brr brr#slowly dipping my toes into dropping 2015 hot takes on tumblr dot com... for so long these have been between me god and my google doc#i love jorge i think he's been involved in a lot of iconic battles i think it's funny not a single one of them happened in 2015#minus kinda phillip island but even there it did feel like the other three were Doing More than him#also just a different vibe to a proper one-on-one. a WEIRD title run where the third man that whole year walks away with the trophy#idol tag
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Back on my bullshit answer my questions
while doing some rudimentary research for this poll it has come to my attention that pins and needles are a feeling felt while the limb is asleep, not the period of intense sensation/tingling/sensitivity experienced while it comes back online. or maybe it's both? the stuff i read referred to it as tingling that happens while the limb is pinned/under pressure/numb. i cannot find anything that references what i have come to think of as "the agony" but ive referred to it as the pins and needles in the options for this poll anyway.
Mild: limb has muted sensation but can be moved and used carefully, pins and needles begin almost immediately after limb is moved from whatever position caused it to fall asleep. Pins and needles not painful and do not appear painful, and last a few seconds, person affected is capable of speech and moving other parts of their body during pins and needles, which last a few seconds.
Middle intensity: limb is numb or partially numb and can twitch but not be moved precisely. Pins and needles begin a few seconds after limb is unpinned or when it is moved. Pins and needles not painful but intense and appear uncomfortable, taking a lot of the affected person's attention/capacity. they last between 5 and 7 seconds.
Intense: limb is numb and cannot move/be used, pins and needles begin 5-7 seconds after the limb is unpinned. pins and needles are intense and may be painful or not painful but 'unbearable', causing the affected person to cry out, grimace, or otherwise appear to be in pain. Person cannot speak or move their other limbs during pins and needles, which last 10 or more seconds (without shaking) and have residual tingling for a few seconds after limb regains movement/becomes bearable to move
obviously this all depends on how long the limb was pinned but just answer whichever is the most common for you, and if you want you can put in the tags what positions make your limbs go numb/how you deal.
#polls#poll#tell me your secrets#idk i was just shaking out my hand but im sick/tired rn so i was actively crying out and was thinking#that limbs falling asleep/pins and needles are a very common and intensely unpleasant experience#and its kinda fuckin weird that we as a society dont talk about it more#and that it can be brushed off or be a single line in books n stuff#and like theres a lot of things that get done dirty in books for how intense/scary/dangerous they are irl#like the first time i got the wind knocked out of me and thought i was dying cause its only ever described as#getting the wind knocked out of you#rather than you can't feel the air coming in and out of your lungs#and the only way you can tell youre not dying is that you aren't experiencing air hunger#which can happen when you are dying in certain situations so fuck if i know#and like headrush like i see new colors/lose track of reality/twitch or faint when its real bad and in books its always like#a bout of dizzyness or some shit#and before i get called out yea i know what an iron deficiency is#also rip to all book characters who've been knocked out for several hours after a head injury or passed out from blood loss lol#anyway#then theres shit like my psycosomatic faux asthma symptoms or swallowing issure or the foot thing that are unique to me as far as i can tel#and boy howdy does that suck shit#but to conclude#bodies are weird why dont you tell me how yours works.
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whenever ppl try to argue grammatical and social gender are entirely separate I just think about a study that showed if a word is feminine/female people more often associate it with feminine adjectives and the opposite for masculine objects. like yes congrats you've worked out that a table does not inherently have gender but if its feminine in your language your mental image will be different to if its masculine
#i think the example was french/german for key being fem/masc#and frech ppl would describe a key as delicate/shiny/small but germans would describe it as iron/old#ill try to dig it up i thought it was neat#also a lot of languages get way more complex than just masc/fem. german has a neutral case already#though it is kinda formal for people. like they is equivalent to a formal you in some cases#which fucks if you are me. but tis not for all#me_irl
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im gonna be real here i definitely thought your URL was ironic 💀
#well . I don’t know what to tell you LOL#it is ironic on some level obvs like not ALL rpf (or moreso the process of like. promoting and distributing it) is fine#and there definitely is like a whole discussion on this which im gonna be honest i dont think im fully equipped to get into today#especially in light of recent . events#but i wouldnt have chosen the url if i didnt at least somewhat agree with like the vague message it gets across#asks#you probably dont mean this in a bad way so im not interpreting it as such im just kinda idk. careful i guess LOL
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