#which is a real issue for Tony because of his need to just be a man (with all the baggage that concept has) but a man made of iron

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #61

[navybrat817]

Feel the Pulse Beat: Intro

Pairing: Old Money!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: Bucky didn't want to go to Tony's club, but he'll be glad he did by the end of the night.

Word Count: Almost 2.3k

Warnings: Swearing, frenemy behavior, family issues, bit of world building, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)

A/N: Oh, look, lovelies! A new AU no one asked for. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“Why am I even here?” Bucky asked, eying the neon sign for Extremis. The one and only Tony Stark owned the club. A mix of people in clothes that ranged from expensive suits to revealing dresses stood in line with the hopes of getting in. “Because I have a car I could be working on as we speak.”

He could fit in at clubs, but he’d take greasing up his hands over dressing up any day. With cars, he didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than himself. There was no need to impress people who didn’t care about him beyond his name or fortune.

Steve, his best friend, sighed. “Because we promised Tony we’d show up. He’s our friend.”

“You promised, not me. He’s more your friend than mine and he acts like I wronged him in another life or something,” Bucky said. Tony didn't outright hate him, but didn’t seem to care for him and loved to give him a hard time. “I doubt he’ll notice if I skip this.”

“He will notice and he’s not that bad,” Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I swear, between Tony and Sam, it’s like you go out of your way to not be friends with our friends.”

Bucky didn’t comment on Sam for the time being. “Not that bad? Tony has the biggest ego in the city. I’m surprised he didn’t call the place 'Anthony’s' or plaster his name all over the building,” he said, tilting his head. “Given the outside, it wouldn't surprise me if the inside was just as bad.”

Steve snorted, used to his humor after all these years. “You’re in a mood,” he said. Bucky didn’t deny it. “Let me guess: another argument with your dad?”

Bucky hesitated. “What else is new?” He wished he could clock the guy, but he was his old man.

George Barnes couldn’t wrap his mind around why his son preferred cars to the boardroom and networking. Or why he chose to “destroy” his body with tattoos. Or why he wasn't dating an elitist. It was like he couldn’t stand that Bucky wasn't just another version of him. Thank God for his mom who encouraged him to forge his own path and respected his choices.

And, yes, she occasionally allowed him access to the family funds if he wanted or needed them because she adored him.

“I'm sorry,” Steve said, clapping him on the shoulder.

They had grown up together, which meant they either witnessed or heard the ups and downs of their families. Steve wasn’t just his best friend, he was like a brother to him. He knew how his dad could get. And his dad was a good man most days, but he could also be a real pain in the ass.

“Don’t be. Not your fault,” he replied, looking at the sign again. “Never is.”

“It may not be my fault, but it doesn't mean I don’t care,” he said. He was lucky to have a friend like him. “Come on.”

Bucky felt eyes on them as they bypassed the line and approached the man at the door. Even if their names weren't on the list, the confidence he and his best friend carried would've been enough to pique the security’s curiosity. They also had enough money in their pockets to not necessarily flaunt their wealth, but to show that they had it. The same applied to their suits.

“Steve Rogers,” his best friend stated with just the right touch of pride. It was a fine line to walk between confidence and arrogance and he did it well. “And Bucky Barnes.”

“You’re on the list, but those aren’t the names the boss gave me and he won't let you in without them,” he said, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

“Aww, that’s too bad.” Bucky shrugged. It was the kind of shit Tony liked to pull and he wasn't in the mood to play. “Let’s go, punk.”

Steve held out an arm to stop him. “Just wait, jerk,” he said, shaking his head as he looked at the bouncer. “Golden Boy and Tinman?”

The bouncer to his credit looked thoroughly unimpressed instead of amused when he stepped aside to let them in. Bucky grit his teeth anyway, anger coursing through his veins. “That fucking-”

“Hey. It’s just Tony being Tony.” Steve trying to placate him wasn't working. “It’s better than Cyborg, right?”

Tinman. Cyborg. Tony tried to say the nicknames were because his left sleeve looked like a metal arm, but the man said in passing once that he was cold. Heartless. Just because Bucky didn’t show his emotions to people he didn't care for didn’t mean he didn’t have them.

“Tony being Tony doesn’t give him a pass to be a dick, Golden Boy,” he said, holding up a finger. “One hour. You get one fucking hour.”

“Please, don’t call me that,” Steve begged. The man with a heart of gold to match his hair and a pair of fists ready to strike for anyone who needed defending. Everyone in their circle looked to him as a man who always tried to do the right thing. “And fine. One hour.”

As they walked further into the club, vibrant energy surrounded them. Red and yellow lights cast a warm glow to create a welcoming ambience, while plush seats and sleek decor added a touch of glamor and sultriness. The bar, illuminated and inviting, beckoned patrons to select their drinks. The music was perfectly balanced, not too loud or overwhelming, allowing for easy conversation amidst the lively atmosphere.

Bucky didn’t want to give Tony too much credit and make his head swell more, but it was a nice place.

“So, where are we sitting?” He asked.

As if on cue, a woman in a smart black dress approached. Not a single hair out of place. “Pepper, good to see you,” Steve smiled at her. Bucky recognized her now. Tony’s personal assistant, had been for years. She did her job well and the man’s schedule and life would fall apart if he didn’t have her around.

“Good to see you, too. And you two are the first to arrive,” she smiled. “Right this way, please.”

Bucky looked around again as Pepper led them to a quiet VIP area flanked by a couple of guards. The space was just as bright as the main room, but above the center table hung a large, modern crystal chandelier: a focal point that hinted at the Stark fortune. The small stage set up at the back of the room surprised him. Was it for performers or merely for show?

“About time you showed up,” a voice interrupted his thoughts. Tony Stark, the man himself, sat in the middle of a sofa with a glass of whiskey in hand. With his three piece suit and perfectly trimmed dark goatee, he looked very much like the king of one of his many castles. Even had on a pair of his signature sunglasses because who didn't like wearing sunglasses indoors? “Or did it take you old men a while to figure out the names? Told Sy not to let you in without them.”

An apologetic look crossed Pepper’s face. “For the record, I told him not to do that,” she said, gesturing for them to sit. Bucky opted to sit in a chair that he didn't want to admit was extremely comfortable. “But he never listens to me.”

“You still love me,” Tony called after her as she left the area. “No hard feelings about the nicknames, right? It’s all in good fun.”

Bucky huffed as Steve took a seat beside Tony, effectively dividing them. “First the nicknames, and now you call us old men? You look older than we do,” Bucky said, pointing to Tony’s hair. “In fact, I think I see some gray you missed on your dye job.”

As Bucky got older, he had come to love the gray in his own beard and hair. It was a good look. Maybe the right girl would appreciate it.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Barnes. Always a pleasure.”

“Stark,” he said, baring his teeth in a wolfish grin. “Never a pleasure.”

“Cut it out,” Steve chastised, giving Bucky an exasperated look, which only earned him a shrug in response. Did he expect him to play nice when he didn't want to be there? “Tony, the place looks great.”

“Of course it does, Rogers. Did you expect anything less? Though it’s always nice to get a compliment from you.” Tony set his drink down and tapped the screen of his phone, causing the red and yellow lights to switch to blue and white. “That’s your cue, Barnes.”

“Nice lights,” he mumbled, leaning his chin on his hand. One hour…

Tony scoffed. “Would it kill you to give a real compliment, or are you holding back because I own it?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Does my opinion even matter? You already think it’s perfect. I’m sure everyone else has kissed your ass about it, and I don’t feel like chapping my lips.”

Tony sat up straighter. “If I really wanted my ass kissed, I’d call your little sister,” he sneered, nudging Steve’s arm. “She’s free, right?”

“Tony, stop.” Steve warned when Bucky's jaw clenched.

“What?” Tony smirked more. “I heard she just got out of a relationship and maybe I can help her get over that broken heart.”

Bucky almost got out of his seat. Becca was a sweetheart and Tony didn't deserve to breathe the same air as her. “You even think about touching her, I’ll break your fucking-”

“Hey! That’s enough.” Steve sounded pissed off enough that they shut up. “Tony, he’s not trying to be a dick. He just wanted to work on a car tonight. Doesn't mean you need to bring his sister into it,” Steve said to Tony in a calmer tone, giving Bucky another look. “And you know he wouldn't fool around with Becca. You’re letting your fight with your dad get to you.”

Bucky slowly exhaled. “I know.” He felt a pinch of guilt. He had let his dad sour his mood and dismissed Tony’s club when Tony was at least nice enough to extend an invitation. It also wasn't fair to make Steve play referee when he deserved a fun night. “And I think we’re all varying degrees of dicks here.”

Unexpected respect and understanding filled Tony’s eyes, replacing his usual disdain. “Rather tinker with something than hang out here? I get it. And asshole fathers, I get that, too,” he said, downing the remainder of his glass. Bucky had nearly forgotten that Tony had issues with his own dad. “But let’s be serious, we all know I’m the biggest dick here.”

That brought a chuckle out of all three of them. It was the closest thing to an apology. “I would drink to that if I had one,” Bucky joked.

Tony tapped the screen of his phone again in a short pattern and the middle of the table rose up to reveal a decanter and empty glasses. “Top shelf and on the house even though you can afford it.”

“We’re still going to tip. You can give it to the staff working tonight,” Steve offered, pouring each of them a glass and passing one over. “And now that we’ve gotten some of the unpleasantness out of the way, can we get on with the evening? Please?”

The men nodded, but Bucky still needed more than one stiff drink to get him through the hour. At least Tony brought out the good stuff for them to indulge. “I have to ask, where are the rest of your friends?” He expected the VIP section to be overflowing with his usual crowd instead of being nearly empty.

“On their way,” Tony said, waving a hand toward the stage. “I wanted you two to get a private show with my new star because I have a feeling you’ll appreciate her talent more than the others. And when I say this one is special, I mean it. Voice and body of an angel. Or a siren. Whatever you’re into.”

Bucky and Steve exchanged a look. A new star? That was why he wanted them to stop by? “Have you slept with her?” Steve asked pointedly. Bucky almost asked the same question. Tony had a reputation for a reason and being a member of his staff wouldn’t stop him from trying.

“Nope. Not this one. Not for lack of trying,” Tony said, checking the time before the lights dimmed. “She told me to ‘kindly fuck off’ when I hit on her and I gave her a raise because why the hell not?”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up. “She turned you down? I like her already,” He smirked, instantly intrigued by this mystery woman who didn't fall for Tony’s charms like so many others. “I may even have to buy her a drink.”

“Just wait ‘til you hear her sing, Tinman,” Tony said, resting back against the sofa. “Even you will love her.”

A spotlight illuminated the stage when soft music began to play. The curtain opened wide enough for a stunning figure in a long red dress to step through. Bucky leaned forward in his chair, captivated by your beauty. His heart raced, and his throat went dry as your gaze met his. He tightened his grip on the glass, nearly downing it in one gulp as you moved toward the microphone, but couldn't look away as you smiled.

Where the hell did Tony find someone so enchanting?

Bucky waited with bated breath before you began to sing. One note. That was all it took. He was lost. Gone.

Yours.

Oh, I just had to end the intro there. 😇 I wonder what our reader is like and what she'll think of Bucky. @targaryenvampireslayer @yenzys-lucky-charm @ghotifishreads @tavners @holacia3 a certain edit may come into play later... 😏 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[a-spes]

| DEVIOUS LIES — Part one (3.842 words).

| Summary — Anon Request — When your friend asked you out for a drink, you didn't think much about it. Yet, maybe you should've, because that night ruined your life. It has been two years, and you can't stop think about what you lost. Your job, your friends, your lover, and even your mind was left in that motel room.

| Tags & warnings — Avenger!Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader, AoS!OC x Avenger!Reader, Other Avengers, angst without comfort, cheating, mental health issues, suicidal ideations, self depreciation.

| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three. the scars in our hearts (bonus part).

“I am really not sure we should do that, Stark”, you repeated for what may be the tenth time since you picked up the phone, “it sounds like a really, really, bad idea, and you know, I am not sure sh~”

“Come on!” he said, cutting short your ramblings.

Your thoughts are racing, your mind imagining all the things that could go wrong. It is an endless series of “what ifs” that is only stopped by Tony’s voice. You both knew that if he lets you think too much, he would lose his battle. It’s a risky plan he wants to drag you in. 

“I am sure you are dying to say yes,” he added when you didn’t answer him, and you could hear his petty smile through the phone. As he sensed that you were about to accept, the man tried to convince you with one last argument, “she won’t know anything, I promise. None of them will, I thought about everything,” he assured you, and you believed him.

He was right, you wanted to say yes, but you couldn’t get yourself to say the word aloud. There are too many ways for it to end badly, and you really don’t need to make your situation worse than it already is. Two years ago, you lost everything. None of your teammates tried to understand your situation, they didn’t give you a chance to explain what happened. Instead, they threw you away from the team, and the tower, without giving it a second thought, as if you were just garbage.

Maybe that’s what you are.

Sometimes, when you think about the events, you surprise yourself by siding with them. It’s easier to think that you deserve what they are doing to you than to accept the injustice of the situation, which you can’t do anything about. After all, the proof was against you. You’ve seen the pictures, everyone has seen them, and they felt so real that your certainties have faltered. How to convince them that you are innocent when you are not even sure yourself? Eventually, you gave in, it is a battle you couldn’t win.

“When is it, already?” you sighed, eventually giving in. An argument against Tony Stark was another battle you knew you couldn’t win.

The man has been the only exception. He has watched over you from afar, and believed your version of the events. For once, he has listened, and it means the world to you. So even if you try to not wince at the enthusiasm he lets out on the other end of the phone, a part of you is happy. It doesn’t matter if things don't go well, at least that would have pleased the billionaire, and you owe it to him, even if you couldn’t match his enthusiasm, too anxious for that.

For a second, you thought about changing your mind. Your fingers were a centimeter away from the interphone, but you haven’t rung the bell yet. It would be so easy to listen to your instinct that is screaming at you to run away. It would be so easy to break the promise you’ve made to Tony, he wouldn’t mind right? Yes, despite the disappointment, he would understand that you couldn’t do that. It was too early and too much. You shouldn’t even have taken that call, it is always a bad idea to trust a billionaire, especially when his last name is Stark.

The last time you’ve set foot in the Avengers Tower, it has been two years ago. You haven’t seen them since, only their pictures in the news. One time, you’ve thought about going to one of those press conferences they hold sometimes, but you knew you wouldn’t be welcome — Maybe they even added your name to the list of bans. You aren’t welcome anywhere near them, they made it clear when they threw you away.

It is as if all the years spent by their side have been erased. Even the world seems to have forgotten your name. It is almost as if you have never been a part of the Avengers, as if you’ve never existed, and it was just something you mind made.

Maybe it’s for the best, you thought.

Yet, here you are. In front of the building you left years ago, promising to yourself that you’ll never come back in here. That day, you felt so humiliated that you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t add the shame to crawl back at their feet, begging for their forgiveness. No, no matter how bad you were craving to throw yourself in their arms, you won’t. Never, ever. Except that, sometimes, circumstances change, and you find yourself unable to refuse your friend’s crazy invitation, despite the dangerousness of his plan.

“Pl- please, ‘tasha, let me ex~,” you were begging the woman. It wasn’t your kind but exceptional situations call for exceptional reactions, and the one you found yourself in certainly was. 

Tears aren’t your style either, nor it’s Natasha’s. Yet, both of your cheeks are stained with them, your eyes reddened. She is angry, and you are frustrated. She is full of hatred, and you are full of despair. But, today, something broke in both your hearts.

“Shut up,” she said firmly, not giving you a chance to explain yourself. She didn’t want to hear a word from your bullshit. None of them want to. “You’ve lost the right to call me that way,” she added, spitting every one of those hate-filled words in your face, “honestly, you’ve even lost the right to talk to me. I don’t want to hear your voice or to see your face ever again. Did I make myself clear?” she yelled. You would have never thought that she could speak to you in such an angry, hateful tone, and yet, here you are.

She has, indeed, made her intentions clear. When you came home, you found your clothes scattered on the pavement in front of the tower. She hasn’t waited for your explanations before deciding to throw all your belongings away. You were quick to follow them, you barely stepped into the building that she was here to drag you out of the building.

You have never seen your loved one in such a state. She isn’t even acknowledging your pleas for her to slow down, or at least to loosen her grip on your arm. But she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care anymore if you were hurt, or if you were stumbling on your feet — If she had to drag you out by the hair, she would do it without hesitating. 

The Natasha that was scared she could hurt you was long gone. She wasn’t the one that swore to protect you anymore, you’ve seen in her gaze that the promises she made no longer stand. She has a stern, harsh expression painted on her face, and it was your fault. She hadn’t hit you, not yet, but you could still feel how her nails are digging into your skin, leaving a mark that will stay for days. It is a reminder of what you’ve lost that day, not that you could forget.

A second later, you collide with concrete. She throws you on the ground, alongside your belongings, with all the strength she has — And she is a former russian spy, so she’s got plenty. The force of the gesture causes you to stumble over your own feet and fall, scraping your hands and knees in the process. You don’t even try to get up. Dejected, you remain on the ground, barely daring to turn around to see her one last time.

“Don’t you dare to come back, you are not welcome here anymore,” she said before walking away, and disappearing behind the doors of the tower. You wanted to say something but the words didn’t come out, nothing you could say felt right.

It is the last time you’ve seen her, and as pitiful as it is, you have long cherished this last contact with the redhead. No matter how violent and hateful it has been, it was still the last time you’ve touched the love of your life, and you missed it the moment she let go of your arm. Her, and her touch. Despite everything, despite the years, you still needed her presence by your side, and it doesn’t matter if your relationship has to be brutal, you are ready to accept anything if it means being close to her for a few more days.

The rest of the team stayed here until you left. Your eyes met theirs, pleading them to at least say something, but you didn’t get the help you were looking for, their hatred toward you matching Natasha’s. Clint, Steve and Sam, they are all people that you thought were your friends, except they didn’t hesitate a second before siding with the redhead.

Steve has been the first one to leave, almost running after the woman. Before they disappear in the elevator, you’ve caught his hand resting on her shoulder. You should be the one to touch her like that, the one to hold and comfort her, but this right has been taken from you, and maybe you deserve it. You broke the trust she put in you, one that she doesn’t grant easily.

You’ve always known it was a bad idea. In fact, since the moment he suggested that you should come to Natasha’s birthday, you’ve had a bad feeling about it. He thought that it would help you, knowing that you had been living in isolation since you’ve left the team, and a part of you believed him. The same part that never stopped hoping that things could go back to the way they were. 

Until today.

If there is something you’ve learned from that experience, it’s that things will never be as they were because it’s nothing more than a pipe dream. The past two years, you have continuously dreamed about that moment, when you would eventually see her again. You’ve even made up a whole apology speech, one that would erase all your mistakes, and if it’s not enough, then maybe you would have begged them until they forgive you — Promises be damned. In any case, it would have ended with a hug with Natasha, a happy reunion after all those years spent apart. 

Except that none of that happened, because reality isn’t fiction, and you don’t deserve a happy ending. To be fair, you could have never imagined that the reunion would go like this, that you wouldn’t even be able to exchange a word with them because they had no idea that you were here. You couldn’t have imagined that the barriers you have built over the last few years would crumble the moment you set foot in the tower that once was your home.

The tears were streaming down your face, hidden behind that ridiculous mascot costume Tony had forced you to wear. He assured you that it was all part of his plan, the one that’s supposed to make everything better, but honestly, you’ve never felt so ridiculous and pitiful than when you put on that costume that’s supposed to look like a cartoon version of Natasha. That is the genius idea Tony’s came up with a few weeks ago ; having you wear a suit so that you could attend Natasha’s birthday party without anyone knowing.

You thought that you were strong enough to face them, but it turned out that you weren’t. There is nothing that hurts more than realizing you are nothing more than a stranger in your own house. An intruder, that’s exactly what you are. You should enjoy the moment, but you can’t, your heart races, fearing they could guess you’re the one behind the costume.

You were watching them from the corner of the terrace where you found refuge after giving them a little show, and you noticed that all of them, without exception, had a bright smile on their faces. You should be glad that they overcame the difficulties of life, right?

Then why is the only thing you are feeling agonizing jealousy?

Because you were slowly realizing that things changed after you left them, and maybe it was for the best. That’s what you’ve heard them saying in an interview they held a few months after your departure — “Yes, the team has undergone some changements, and we believe it’s for the best” — and maybe they were right, because you don’t remember seeing them being so peaceful in the past. They never clearly said that you’ve been banned from the team, nor they talked publicly about the events that lead to your departure, but people weren’t stupid, they guessed that it was because of something you did.

All days are the same since.

You wake up early, but it’s not the sign of a healthy life, only of a light sleep that is disturbed by the slightest noise and glint of sunlight. The thought of a new day only makes you sigh, what’s the point when every day is the same? They are all filled with loneliness and misery, and you are not sure you have the strength to deal with that, so you don’t move an inch, waiting for the night to come again. 

Sometimes, you get out of the bed you’ve been rotting in, but it’s not before you are so hungry that your whole body is uncontrollably shaking. That's the only time you leave the darkness of your flat, when you go to that small shop at the end of the street to get something to eat. You would buy anything and everything here, but especially junk food that can be eaten quickly. Most of the time, it’s PastaBox or anything with chocolate,  the papers piling up in the kitchen as the days go by, but you’ve never had the heart to take down the overflowing bin.

Waking up, rotting in bed, eating a bit if you are really hungry, going back to rot in your bed, then crying until Morpheus comes to get you, that’s now what your days are.

It’s a strange situation. You have mourned people before, but never someone who’s still alive, never your whole life, never yourself. You are still alive. You know it because you are still breathing and your heart is beating, but it feels like you are not anymore. You don’t even want to cry anymore, you are just laying here, waiting for something to happen, anything. Maybe death. Maybe it’ll eventually come for you, and that moment will be the sweetest. It would be a relief, and not only for yourself.

You don’t want to think about the fact that it may not be. What would be the point in suffering if it’s not to get a threat at the end? The possibility that nothing will come after that life feels unfair, and scary. When you are not finding comfort in your death, you are looking for it by imagining a universe where your life with Natasha wouldn’t have ended that way, where none of that happened.

These are the thoughts that lull you to sleep every night, but the next day, when you wake up, the ache in your heart is back. It never seems to fade away, the pain being as strong as it was on the first day. If anything, it got worse. You are aware that every day that passes takes you further away from those ideals, dashing your hopes of getting your old life back. Your despair grew as you realized that all you were doing was pulling away from the love of your life, and there was nothing you could do to get her back. 

What is going to happen when you’re going to forget about how it feels being close to her?

What if you forget everything? Her voice, smile, and the smell of her clothes? 

The few times you are getting out of your apartment, you are walking with your head down, hiding behind the hood of your sweatshirt, and today isn’t an exception. The weather isn’t that cold, but the collar of your sweatshirt is still up to your chin, leaving only your eyes for the world to see. The ones that are fixed to your feet, avoiding to look around.

You used to do that to avoid paparazzi and insistent fans the days you were too tired to interact with the world, but you are now doing it to avoid problems. Your face and name have been all over the news after, and not for good reasons. People had no idea what had really happened, but their imaginations had no trouble imagining the worst and spreading rumors. It has been years, but the world still hasn't forgiven you for things you’ve never done.

In a few days, the way people see you changed drastically. You went from being one of the country’s greatest heroes to being canceled. The smiles turned into hateful looks, compliments into insults, and although no one has tried to hit you, you prefer to keep a low profile. The fall has been painful, but it isn’t surprising.

How could you expect strangers to believe you when even your oldest friends didn’t?

You have never been their favorite anyway, and you are perfectly aware of that. You are not a former spy, nor are you a genius or an enhanced human. You have nothing special, and the world knows your name only because of your teammates. It’s not a big surprise that they prefer them, and decided to side with the real Avengers.

But maybe they’re right. Maybe things are better that way, because you are not sure you deserve being loved. What you’ve tried to say to ‘tasha is true, you can’t remember what happened that night — At least, not the details that matters —, and that is the worst in your situation. The doubt creeping inside of you, and the guilt mixed with the frustration because you're as likely to be innocent as guilty.

Did you do it?

Did you cheat on her for real?

You are walking as fast as you can, only wanting to get home as quickly as possible, shaking your head in an attempt to get rid of those poisonous thoughts. You didn’t stay long at the party, barely half an hour has elapsed before you decided that you had enough. At least you’ve seen her blowing the candles, even if you left without saying a word to the woman. The thought crossed your mind for a second before you decided it was safer not to break the peace she had built up.

She deserves to be happy, even if it means that you are not a part of her life anymore. 

The only trace of your passage that you have left is a black box. You have hesitated to leave it on the pile of gifts, as she would know it was from you, but it didn’t feel right to keep for yourself the gift you were supposed to give her two years ago. It isn’t yours. You wished you could have stayed longer, just to see her reaction when she opens the box, just to see her smile one last time, to make her smile one last time before saying goodbye forever.

That night, you’ve been crying uncontrollably, and so did you the following days until you have no more tears to shed. Gladly, thanks to Fury, you have a bed to spend your days in. The man has been kind enough to pay for your rent until things get back to normal — That’s the promise he has made to you, that he will quickly find a solution. 

A new place for you to work at, in another country, far from everything you’ve known, where you weren’t hated by everyone: that’s the solution he came up with. “The furthest you are from the Avengers, the better it is. At least for a few months, we need things to calm down,” he told you that day, and you agreed. Not that you had a choice because if you had, maybe you would’ve said no. But there was no choice but to accept to leave everything you’ve ever known behind you — Your family, your friends, your memories. 

Did you for real?

That story is sticking to your skin, and the memories to your mind. Whenever you are going, people are glancing at you, and you are sure it’s because they know. Whenever you are going, all you can see is a glimpse of your past, ghosts that are haunting your present. The world will never forget, nor forgive your mistakes, and you understand them, because you don’t think you can either.

Every morning, when you wake up, it is the first thing you are thinking about. Every night, when you are about to sleep, it is the last one, until it becomes an obsession. Except it didn’t give you your memories back. The opposite has even happened, your mind confusing what you remember with what you've been told, trying to fill the gaps.

At one point, you were so desperate that you almost asked Fury, or Tony, if they didn’t have some technology that could help you to recover your memories. You’ve even thought about asking Wanda, but it was impossible to reach the woman, and maybe it’s for the best. You can’t deny that a part of you is scared of what you might find. You’ve once read that, sometimes, the brain keeps some memories away for a good reason — It is a response to trauma.

But for you, you were sure it was alcohol. You don’t remember how many drinks you had that night, but probably a lot if you can’t remember how the evening ended. The last thing you remember is talking with Astrid, one of your colleagues from SHIELD that invited you for a drink. The next time you remember is when you wake up in that motel. From the moment you opened your eyes, everything happened so fast.

You couldn’t take your eyes out of the pictures which were hung up all over the offices, you even kept some of those. But they are the worst. The thing you can see on those, the two of you in that stupid bed, her kissing your throat, and even more, it feels so foreign. Your brain refuses to accept that you are the one in the pictures. Yet, it's undeniable proof of what you've done that night. 

You are so lost that it hurts your brain. 

Sometimes, you wish that someone was here. Anyone that would take your hand, and guide you through this story. Most of the time, you imagine that it’s her, Natasha. That she is here, holding you in her arms, whispering in your ears that everything is going to be okay, exactly as she used to do. 

Then, you realize that she is not here, and everything crumbles again. 

| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three. the scars in our hearts (bonus part).

| Taglist — @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0

[marybeatriceofmodena]

What did Andrew Lloyd Webber do to make Patti Lupone upset? Sorry, saw your tags and i was curious

Oh.

Oh honey.

You sweet child.

Anyway, get ready for one of the most infamous showdowns in all musical theatre history, with the guy who writes the straightest musicals on Broadway (derogatory) and the one and only, the matriarch, the queen, two three-time Tony award winner Patti LuPone.

So, Andrew Lloyd Webber was basically kind of a boy genius in his prime - he met his future collaborator Tim Rice when they were 17 and 20 respectively, he wrote his first big hit, Jesus Christ Superstar, at 22, with Tim Rice writing the lyrics. And it was kind of a big deal at the time because the topic was controversial (you know, the Passion with rock music), but also because Broadway wasn't that far off from its golden age and let's just say the music and style were very different from, say, My Fair Lady. Or The Sound of Music. Or Funny Girl. It was basically the Rent/Hamilton of its time. (Yeah, Stephen Sondheim was around at that time, he worked on West Side Story which was revolutionary in of itself, but he's kind of an oddball in this case. You'll understand why later.)

Their real follow up (I'm not counting Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a variety of reasons) was a little musical called Evita, which you might know mainly because of a song called Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Or at least, your mom has probably heard it once at the very least. It's that song that's oversung from a musical while being out of context along with I Dreamed a Dream for Les Misérables. Or Memory from Cats.

Evita tells the story of Eva Peron, the wife of an Argentinian dictator, who basically screws her way to the top and ends up becoming the mistress of Juan Peron and the most beloved woman in her country through guile and deceit. Yes, I know the historical accuracy is very much debated but I know jackshit about Argentina's history except the bare basics so don't come at me. It was first produced in the West End in London, with Elaine Paige in the role, but because of Equity issues, she couldn't reprise her role for the Broadway production. So a Julliard graduate who was mostly starring in David Mamet plays got the part instead, and that was Patti LuPone.

Patti... did not have a good time during Evita, because the part is basically the kind of score where you can tell the composer is used to writing male parts, but most female singers have a two-octave range (yes, you got Julie Andrews who used to have a three-octave range, and many others, but they're exceptions), so she struggled a lot. That being said, if you listen to live recordings of her, you wouldn't be able to tell, and it got a lot easier later on. But she had this to say:

"Evita was the worst experience of my life. I was screaming my way through a part that could only have been written by a man who hates women. And I had no support from the producers, who wanted a star performance onstage but treated me as an unknown backstage. It was like Beirut, and I fought like a banshee."

This is from Patti's autobiography, which she wrote in 2007 - 8 years after shit with ALW went down. With all that said, she won a Tony Award for Evita, and she pretty much became a musical theatre household name from then on. She played Fantine in Les Misérables, Nancy in Oliver!, Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes. Meanwhile, ALW's next big hits were Cats (I'm not even kidding, Cats was a hit), and, you guessed it, The Phantom of the Opera, which he wrote in part to showcase his then wife Sarah Brightman's triple threat talents.

So, you need to understand before I continue that ALW, from my perspective, has always had a bit of an inferiority complex. He's basically associated to writing these commercially successful musicals that show a big spectacle but aren't ultimately substantial. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do think that if he didn't have Hal Prince, Maria Bjornson, Charles Hart and Gillian Lynne backing him up for Phantom, it would have probably been a Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff people would have forgotten about pretty quickly. This is what I mean:

Yep, that was Phantom before any of the people I mentioned above (and Michael Crawford) were really involved.

Remember how I said Stephen Sondheim was an oddball? The thing with him is that his musicals weren't always commercially successful, but in general, in part thanks to being Leonard Bernstein's protégé, he was generally pretty well-respected and it was considered that his work was bringing musicals to a whole other level. Without Sondheim, you wouldn't have Jonathan Larson, and you wouldn't have Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am convinced ALW is resentful of that, and when you stop and think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's so obvious he REALLY wants to be Sondheim or at least command the same level of respect, but that's a story for another day.

So, after Phantom, ALW had other musicals that followed that either got a meh reception or outright flopped. Then there was Sunset Boulevard, which is based on the movie of the same name with Gloria Swanson. Despite all of her griefs for Evita, Patti LuPone agreed to partake in the musical as Norma Desmond, for its production in London, with the promise that she would transfer to Broadway once that production would open. And overall, after a string of flops, Sunset was actually doing pretty well.

HOWEVER. One day, while reading the gossip column of a newspaper, Patti found out that contrary to what she was promised, Glenn Close, who was meanwhile starring as Norma in the Los Angeles production, was to play Norma on Broadway. That was a complete surprise for her since no one on the production team had bothered to tell her it was happening - and keep in mind that for the news to come up the way it did in a gossip column, it probably would have necessitated a delay of a few weeks between the producers and the newspaper, which would have given them plenty of time to break the news to Patti. And Patti kind of needed the leg up because she was pretty bitter that a) Madonna was cast in the Evita adaptation instead of her; b) they actually lowered the key to fit Madonna's voice range, and she still had to expand her own to be able to sing the (lowered) score. And trust me, Patti is mad about it to this day.

So of course, she trashed her dressing room, the cast and crew weren't even mad about it because they were as shocked and angered as she was by the news. Patti sued Andrew Lloyd Webber for breach of contract, namely for 1 MILLION DOLLARS (yup, those are the real numbers), won, used the money she got from the lawsuit to get a swimming pool, which she called (and I SHIT YOU NOT) the Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool. Since then, Webber is dead to her, to the point rumor has it she had part of a building blocked during an event so she could get out of it without coming across Webber, because she hates him so flipping much she doesn't even want to be in the same building as the guy.

(There's also drama that happened with Faye Dunaway who was supposed to replace Glenn Close after she went from Los Angeles to Broadway, except they abruptly closed the show down after Close left, but that's a story for another day)

So with all the bad press, and with ALW forced to pay 1 million dollars for Patti's lawsuit, that led Sunset's productions to close earlier than expected. ALW has stayed around since, with... mitigated output, so to say. The lowest point for a lot of people is Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom, which some people love, and that's fine, but it didn't do well with either critics nor fans of the original show, which ALW is EXTREMELY BUTTHURT ABOUT. And like, there are so many stories I could tell about LND alone, but I will share my own crack theory about it, since it does relate to the ask.

Anyway, buckle up.

So. There have been jokes going around for years that the Phantom in LND is basically ALW's self-insert, where he displays to the world that he's totally not over Sarah Brightman leaving him (in part because making Phantom kinda ruined their marriage lmao), despite, you know, having married since. (Aaaaaakward.) So LND basically becomes this really uncomfortable therapy session where a man writes a self-insert musical about how his ex-wife made a big mistake of leaving a sensitive artistic soul such as himself. The characters from Phantom who appear in LND are all more or less unrecognizable as a result, and one who gets it worse (in my humble opinion) is Meg Giry, who was basically Christine's sweet and loyal ballerina friend who basically went into the Phantom's lair on her own to save her friend despite the danger. In LND, she's basically a bitter hag (because ALW hates women, guess Patti was right about that), who really likes the swim and even has a stripping vaudeville number about it, written in universe by the Phantom, no less.

For comparison, here's Don Juan Triumphant (the Phantom's opera in the original):

And here's Bathing Beauty (the vaudeville number):

Yeah, so... do you see why people hate LND already?

And that's not the only thing with Meg! She's also pining for the Phantom to pay attention to her and threatens to drown the Phantom and Christine's secret love child when he makes it clear that he's gonna love Christine for EVA AND EVA.

So, with everything we learned today about ALW, would someone like him view someone like Patti LuPone as some sort of crazy, bitter diva who's obsessed with him for whatever reason? Absolutely. Would he be petty enough to insert Patti LuPone into his self-insert musical, which gave us the version of Meg Giry we got in LND? Of course. Why does Meg love to swim so much and why does she drag Gustave out ostensibly for a swim? Is it a dig at Patti's Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool? Maybe.

I kind of hope we find out one day if that theory is true. And maybe start a kickstarter so Patti can add this painting from the 2004 movie in her collection.

Fun fact: during the process of casting for the 2004 movie adaptation of POTO, ALW allegedly suggested Patti LuPone to play Carlotta... only for Joel Schumacher to have to awkwardly remind him that they were not on speaking terms. The idea was therefore promptly dropped.

[tonystarchive]

IRONDAD & SPIDER-SON WHUMP MASTERLIST—PART 1

Last Updated: September 2023

As promised, here is my long overdue Irondad Whump Masterlist! This list took an embarrassing amount of time to compile and over forty pages in my Google Docs (!!!!!).

Due to the sheer amount of fics, I will be posting in parts. Within these posts, each fic will categorized by its most prevalent trope/theme.

I hope the work from these talented contributors brings as much whumpy joy to you as they do to me!

Also, a very special shoutout to my most treasured Irondad authors iron_spider, for_the_night, madasthesea, losingmymindtonight, AdVitemAeternum, MotherKarizma, and so many more! This post is dedicated to you. ♡ 

Adoption/Tony Stark is Peter Parker’s Biological Father

5 Times Tony Acted Like Peter’s Dad by for_the_night

Summary: “And the one time he actually was." *Featuring an award evening, nightmares, a father-son field trip, appendicitis, and a very special gift—oh, and SO many forehead kisses.*

Alive and Healing by Watermeloness

Summary: “‘...bank robbery gone wrong in Queens. We’re receiving live footage from the crime site, where a 15-year-old teenager has been severely injured. Witnesses report a young boy getting shot after trying to stop the perpetrators. The last we’ve heard, his state is critical and he’s being rushed to…’ Statistically, there are a lot of 15-year-old teenagers in Queens. The city is filled with 15-year-old teenagers that are all brave in their own ways. This doesn’t have to be their teenager. But Peter is not picking up his phone.”

Dad Is Just A Word (You Give It Meaning) by madasthesea

Summary: “Father's Day, two years after May dies. Peter has something special to give and something important to say.”

For Want of a Dad (In Need of a Son) by GhostInTheBAU

Summary: “So, have you given the camping trip any more thought?’ Ned asks, and he groans internally at the change in subject.  He'd much rather go back to talking about his non-existent love life, thanks.  The trip is during spring break—a four-day long trek out into the wilderness, camping and hiking and gathering who even knows what, learning all about nature and the great outdoors. But the real kicker?  It's an event specifically designed for fathers and their sons, which is something Peter doesn't have, and something he will never be. Not again." Or: Peter longs to have a deeper relationship with his mentor, a more meaningful connection; but he's managed to convince himself that the only reason Tony Stark spends any time with him at all is purely because of his enhancement. Because of Spider-Man.

Homebound by AdVitamAeternam

Summary: “Shortly after Homecoming, Peter starts having panic attacks. Tony happens to have some experience with those. What do you do when everyone around you has a tendency to die? What do you do when the last person, the most precious, the one you absolutely cannot lose, maybe wants you? Do you give in, or do you run? Do you take what they offer, or do you keep them as far away from the disaster that is your life as you can?”

I Love You More Than Anything Series by iron_spider

Summary: “The highs and lows of Tony unexpectedly becoming a single dad at 31—from Peter’s early baby years, all the way past the defeat of Thanos”

I’ll Always Protect You (Even If You Don’t Want Me To) by JAWorley

Summary: “So much changed with Peter’s body chemistry after the bite that new things are still coming up that surprise him. One day he and Tony are having a fight and Peter is so stressed out he ends up having a seizure. Seizures… great, so that’s a thing now, and Tony has decided that the best thing is for Peter to stop being Spider-Man. The more the seizures happen, the more protective Tony becomes. All Peter wants is to have his life back." Or: May asks Tony to take joint custody of Peter to help with the Spider-Man thing and this new stress seizure issue. Peter learns that sometimes parents do what’s necessary even if it’s not a popular choice with their kids.

Questions of Science, Science and Progress (Do Not Speak As Loud As My Heart) by l_u_c_k_y_c_l_o_v_e_r

Summary: “I had to find you, tell you I need you. Tell you I set you apart." Or: Peter stays with Tony for a few weeks, and the pair get into all kinds of shenanigans. And maybe, just maybe, those few weeks will usher in something more.

These Days I’ll Sit On Cornerstones by Finny3120

Summary: “Tony was ill-prepared to find that the vigilante he'd recruited was a 14-year-old boy. He was even less prepared for Peter Parker to be mute. But Peter hasn't spoken since his uncle died. And the more Tony works with the teen, the less it matters to him. He hears Peter just fine.” 

You’re Stuck With Me by for_the_night

Summary: “I’m adopting you. I don’t care what you have to say.’ Peter gaped. Of all of the entrances he’d expected from Mister Stark after being alone in a hospital room for hours, that wasn’t one of them." Or: Peter gets taken to hospital with a ruptured appendix and Tony comes to a daunting realization of just how little hold he has on the kid outside of Medbay.

Alternate Universe

My Baby, My Baby by SpaceCowboysFromMars

Summary: “Silence falls over them like a warm blanket. Distantly, there’s commotion down on the street as people walk home from clubs. Peter thinks Tony might be his best friend in the whole world. After a long, peaceful moment, Tony says, voice dripping with warmth, ‘Night, kid.’  ‘Goodnight, Mr. Stark." Or: Tony and Peter in the middle of the night, in five alternate universes.

Visiting Hours by Sara (ctrsara)

Summary: “Boss?’ Tony jolted out of his half-asleep state. ‘What’s up, FRI?’ ‘There is a visitor here to see you.’ Tony jumped up. Anyone he knew would usually call or text first, so he was immediately on alert.   ‘Who is it, FRI?’ ‘I need you to have an open mind, and know that I do not believe this person is any threat.’ Oh, yeah, that made him feel better.  ‘Excuse me? How about you let me decide that, Watson?’ He started walking towards the door, activating his watch gauntlet.   ‘Wait, Boss.’ He was annoyed, but he trusted his AI enough to stop and listen. ‘I also need you to know that I have performed biometric scanning, and this person is who they appear to be. However, they insist they’re not from our universe, and that is the part I don’t understand." — In a universe where he never invented time travel, and never brought anyone back, Tony Stark gets a late-night visitor he never could have expected. Prompt taken from @idk-bruh-20 Irondad fic idea #97 on Tumblr. Idea from @derpmallow.

What The Heart Knows by AdVitamAeternam

Summary: “When Peter wakes up, his head is being assaulted by a sledgehammer. He has no idea where he is. He has no idea what happened to him. He has no idea who he is, other than ‘Peter.’ But then, he looks over at the man who is scrutinizing him with worried eyes, and he knows who the man is. That's his dad." Or: The one where Peter gets hit over the head really, really hard and has temporary amnesia, and makes a very reasonable assumption based on the data presented to him.

Angst

A Far Green Country by madasthesea

Summary: “He just wanted Peter to be happy. More than anything in the world, he wanted Peter to be happy. Oh, Tony thought as that realization sunk down into the pit of his stomach and took root. I love him.”

A River To Skate Away On by frostysunflowers

Summary: “Peter has survived a spider bite, a building falling on him, turning to dust and being a teenager. He can handle anything. Except being forgotten.”

Agape by canon irondad (tomlinsoul)

Summary: “It's Tony's first date night with Pepper since the Snap, and Peter can't wait to spend some quality time with his little sister. Too bad a pair of hapless intruders, head trauma, and a panicked helicopter ride throw a spanner in the works." Whumptober 2022 Day 8: Head Trauma + Day 7: Seizures + Day 19: Repeatedly Passing Out + BTHB: Big Brother Instinct

Broken Heart Syndrome by iron_spider

Summary: “Tony is clearly really upset, the kind of upset that Peter’s only seen the likes of a couple of times, and it’s too close after everything happening to really talk about it. He can definitely see that now.  ‘I’m sorry,’ Peter says. ‘I’m sorry, I should have answered—’ ‘Yeah, you should have answered!’ Tony yells. His bottom lip is trembling and he shakes his head, his eyes wild. He runs his hand over his forehead. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll know for next time,’ Peter says. He doesn’t know what’s gonna make this better. Probably nothing. ‘There better not be a next time,’ Tony says, dropping his hand from his face. ‘God, like this? Pete, no one knew where he was but you, and you—you kept it that way so nobody knew what the hell was happening, and you—you weren’t answering, kid, and that asshole sent me all that shit plucked directly from my nightmares, and I was trying to be strong for May because she was worried, too, and you—and you, I—I thought I wasn’t gonna ever—I thought—Jesus, Peter, you don’t think, you don’t—’ Tony bends over, clutching at his arm and breathing hard through his mouth.”

Dead In There, You’re Dead In There by iron_spider

Summary: “Peter, you’ve been acting insane for the past however many days and it’s giving me an ulcer, what’s going on, what did I do? Tell me. Tell me and I’ll fix it.’ Peter is still stalking around, and Friday is listing off his injuries, from a concussion to broken ribs to a sprained ankle, and Tony feels sick looking at it all. ‘You’ll fix it,’ Peter says, glancing over at him with pure disdain, the look bookended by matching explosions somewhere behind them. ‘Yeah it’s something you can’t fix, if it happens, nope, can’t fix it, it would just—but you’re just saying—’ Tony starts forward towards him. ‘Pete, explain to me what’s happening, please.’ ‘The protocol, the protocol,’ Peter insists, waving his hands through the air. Tony shakes his head. ‘The protocol?’ ‘The Avalon Protocol, Tony,’ Peter spits out, with venom.”

Dead-Eyed by iron_spider

Summary: “Hey,’ Tony says, fast, into the phone. ‘Everything alr—’ ‘Hey, no, I don’t know where he is,’ MJ says, in a rush of breath. ‘I don’t know where he is, Tony, and I know I have access to that tracking thing, but it feels weird for me to do that, and it doesn’t feel weird for you to do that, so you should do that. And find him and tell me what’s going on.’ ‘Okay, calm down,’ Tony says, getting up and stepping back from his workstation. ‘You know you can’t tell me to calm down, because I’m calm, and I’m always calmer than you because you’re like, inherently, not calm. At all, about anything, but especially about your family—’ ‘Okay, this is not calm,’ Tony says, starting to pace, even though he’s not calm either, she’s right. She sighs loudly in his ear. ‘When was the last time you saw him?”

Earthly Dust From Off Thee Shaken by ExpectoPatronum

Summary: “It had started with leaving his bedroom light on at night before he went to sleep. For a while, that had been enough. But then it wasn't.”

“Forever” by WithACherryOnTop

Summary: “Peter could feel the darkness creeping up on him again, like it had only moments earlier in the Avengers Compound bullpen. ‘‘ony.’ ‘Just go to sleep, bud.’ Tony gently scratched his nails at the nape of Peter’s neck. Peter collapsed bonelessly in Tony’s arms, all evidence of the tears, crying, and sobs hidden except for a stained shirt and the boy’s even, congested breaths. Tony wiped a hand over his face, a bit flustered. ‘Wow. That went way worse than I expected." Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel and/or Sony. I do not give permission for this work to be copied and/or posted to any other sites.

Gonna Pick Up The Pieces by orphan_account

Summary: “I don’t want to talk to you,’ Peter says. He’s been hiding for the better part of an hour, sitting in the cabin’s laundry room, wedged between the washer and the dryer. Something about the sounds coming off of them calms him, weirdly. The swish of water, the rumble of the motors, cotton rubbing cotton, the button on a pair of jeans dinging the side of the barrel.  ‘That’s bullshit,’ Tony says. ‘You always want to talk to me.’ As true as that usually is, this time it rings discordant and tense. Peter clenches his jaw. ‘Not really,’ he says. ‘You just sorta assume that.’ ‘Of course I do. I make for lovely conversation.’ ‘Eh.”

Head’s On The Fritz by augustheart

Summary: "Hello?’ ‘Tony?’ ‘The one and only. What’s up, kiddo?’ The answer rises up in Peter's throat. Stops at the back of his tongue and wobbles there, heavy and leaden. He wants to spit it out, to cough it into the unbearable silence, to not be loud—but, to be steady. ‘I—’ he says. He trembles. ‘Can you—come over? Please?" Or: Tony makes things better

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Peter still doesn’t feel quite solid. Sometimes Tony can’t believe he’s really there either. They cope.”

I Have You by sweetspiderstew

Summary: “Tony has Peter all to himself, and there's nothing else like some good quality time in the workshop, but little mishaps happen, and there's a lot of hugging.”

I’ll Be Right Here by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Peter has a nightmare, and Tony goes to be sure he’s okay. It’s not the first one of its kind.” 

It Came At Night by Marvelous_Writer

Summary: “What’s supposed to be a normal weekend visit to the Compound turns into one of disaster when unexpected visitors show up." (Set after Spider-Man: Homecoming) Whumptober Day Five: Gunpoint

It’s Time to Leave (and Turn to Dust) by hopeless_hope

Summary: "We’re going to help you, I promise, but you’ve got to trust me. Do you trust me?’ Peter looks at his mentor, fear written across his face. He raises a shaking hand back to Tony’s chest, and Tony places his hand over the kid’s. Peter closes his eyes and feels the hard surface of the arc reactor against his palm.  Peter doesn’t like soft things, but this isn’t soft. It’s solid and steady and strong and feels like a truth he can believe in. It feels like presence.  ‘Yeah, I trust you." (In which Peter has trouble coping with the events of Infinity War, but a certain Tony Stark is there to help.)

Meltdown by inkinmyheartandonthepage

Summary: “You said two-thirty,’ Peter said, acting as if he hadn’t heard Tony. ‘I forgot that you changed it to two thirty and not three.’ Tony took a step towards Peter. ‘Hey, Pete. It’s fine. You’re not that late kiddo. Hell, I’ve been to board meetings hours late.’ The joke didn’t land, and Peter’s eyes started to well with tears. He took in a hiccupping breath. ‘Oh god. I forgot. I forgot." Or: Peter isn't coping after Titan and has been doing everything to keep busy and not think about it. Everything comes to head when he forgets that a time was changed in his busy schedule leading to a meltdown.

Mine, And Yours by crowkag

Summary: “Is it Peter?’ He was met with loaded silence. The anxiety spark became an anxiety plunge and twist. ‘Happy. Is it Peter?’ ‘It’s… well. Who else would it be, right?’ ‘Hogan.’ He hated this. The spark, the plunge, the twist. The tension creeping from his shoulder blades, clawing down arms both flesh and metal, somehow, someway, and bunching up inside his palms. The hysteria of it all. ‘It’s—alright, I won’t sugarcoat it. The kid’s alive, but he got shot, Tony. Twice." Or: Tony reunites with Peter in a less-than-ideal manner.

Relax, Just Breathe by hailfire_73

Summary: “Tony,’ said Peter, lifting his head from the glass, his stubbornness spent. ‘I don’t feel so—’ ‘Do not,’ said Tony, through gritted teeth, and meeting Peter’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He had just one hand on the steering wheel as he drove them into the night. ‘Finish that sentence.’ Morgan leaned over, hung out of her booster seat, and whispered, ‘It gives dad attacks." Or: The Starks go on a road trip that goes wrong when Peter gets food poisoning from questionable carnival food.

Scars Can Heal And Reveal Just Where You Are by parkrstark

Summary: “Jesus Christ, Pete,’ the voice says again, and it's not just a voice. It's a voice that belongs to the shadow. The shadow is light in the dark. It's warm. ‘What are you doing on the floor? You're lucky you're by your bed or else it would have been you breaking my fall.’ Peter blinks at the shadow and can't tell if he's comforted or irritated by the new company. ‘What? No quip about me breaking a hip?’ There's silence. ‘Peter?" 

Shots Ring Out by itsluckyyou

Summary: “Peter Parker had training. Training to deal with robbers, petty crime, and possible alien invasions. Nothing could have possibly trained him for this, though." Or: There's a shooter wandering the halls of Midtown School of Science and Technology.

The Pills (They Gotta Go) by searchingforstars

Summary: “Tony. What are these?’ Tony glances up. Sees the packs of pills clenched in Peter’s fist. He’s sure some of them must be dust judging by the force that Peter is holding them with. ‘My pills?’ ‘Why are they sitting at the back of the pantry?’ Peter asks, voice dangerously low." Or: Tony decides taking his medication is optional. Peter strongly disagrees.

We All Have A Hunger by MotherKarizma

Summary: “Morgan,’ he croaked, throat afire, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Hey—hey, it’s okay, I’m just…’ ‘You’re sick.’ She mustered up something like bravery, using it to straighten her back and plaster a very grown-up look on her face. ‘I’ll get Daddy!’ ‘No!’ Morgan jumped, eyes wide. Peter fought to calm his voice. He offered her a smile that couldn’t have been convincing, not even to a five-year-old. ‘No, you don’t have to. I feel better  now. You don’t have to tell him.’ Morgan’s lips wobbled. Peter knew what her fake pout looked like well enough to know this wasn’t it. ‘Petey…’ Peter had a lot of reasons to feel guilty. He felt guilty for scaring her. He felt guilty for forgetting to lock his bedroom door, for making scaring her a possibility. He kind of, in a way, felt guilty for doing it in the first place, though not nearly enough to stop. But more than anything, he felt guilty for this: ‘Morgan, promise me you won’t tell him. He…he won’t let us swim anymore if you do. And I’m not sick, my tummy just hurt a little bit, but I’m all better now. Promise me you won’t tell him, okay?’ ‘But…’ ‘Morgan. Promise.”

We’re Here by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Comfortember prompt 3: Nightmares Peter has nightmares about when Thanos stabbed Tony on Titan”

Who Needs a Happy New Year When You Can Have a Happy Forever? by searchingforstars

Summary: “Peter's already feeling insecure about his place in Stark family holiday traditions, but it turns out it doesn't really matter because New Year’s Eve is significantly less fun when you’re a pair of PTSD-riddled superheroes, anyway." Or: Tony has a panic attack in a Burger King.

Without You (I Was Broken) by parkrstark

Summary: "How did you get shot? You just webbed me up 5 stories from being shot!’ ‘D-Didn’t know it was coming.’  ‘Dammit, Peter! This isn’t the first time your spidey sense hasn’t worked. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt because Rhodey told me I was being insane. Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t always working? You shouldn’t go out into battle like this when your powers are being wonky and—’ ‘You’re here.’ ‘What?’ ‘You’re here.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I don’t...I can’t really feel the danger when you’re around."

[archilich]

yeah okay, but i wanna talk a minute about how lichdom is actually the bad ending for emmrich a second, because i just played through the last part of his personal quest agaiin, and i've been chewing on it for the last, like, week.

so, you can romanticize it all you want, but emmrich changes after lichdom, which...you know, can be expected, but it's not in a good way. in a shallow sense he has more of a temper, he's more...i'm sorry, i don't think the overprotectiveness of rook is exactly ~so romantic~, i think it's...not great, to put it lightly. it's a little guilt-trippy about how he'll have to mourn them forever if they die, which...newsflash, he's gonna be doing that anyway. and on that shallow level there's just a layer of ickiness to it that i think some people just are...overlooking.

the fact that it's his life's work notwithstanding, like...this isn't the same healing and head on confrontation other companions get for what's eating at them, it's enabling emmrich's aversion to looking the facts dead (no pun intended) in the face: people die. he'll die one day, too, and literally nothing is forever, no matter what promise lichdom makes. like there's some banter with lucanis that i don't have exact quotes for at the moment, but it basically boils down to the fact that if you spend all your time reaching for undeath and hoping to return one day, you're ignoring and wasting the life you can have in the here and now and it's passing you by, which is...i mean, is that not it? is that not exactly what emmrich's doing? and i mean, if there's anyone to point that out, it's probably lucanis.

then there's hezenkoss, who has absolutely fed his fears, and if you search your heart you'll know it to be true. like @ofeluvians and i were talking about, i don't think it was ever a real, true friendship, i think it was almost entirely one-sded (boy, is that ever a character quirk i'm familiar with, i say, looking pointedly at 616 tony stark - ask me how!), and his insecurities were exacerbated to at least some degree. emmrich says himself that johanna never had an easy time of making friends, and if you read the flame eternal you can see she was acerbic even then, and not exactly what i would call compassionate to either emmrich or the spirits they were dealing with.

there's the fact that he was taken into a place that terrified him after his parents died, and i don't think it's necessarily some lofty, grand, scholarly thing that makes the memorial gardens his favorite place in the grand necropolis, i think it's because - out of all of it that we at least get to see - it's actually the most peaceful and least scary. just like i don't think it's hugely a shocker that his favorite spirits are definitely the wisps, which, by and large are manifestations of curiosity and by and large harmless.

i think, instead of a paralyzing fear of death, it's anxiety. like...big anxiety resulting from trauma that's never been addressed (his parents' deaths) and loneliness to a degree (manfred). he's so eager to share things with people, there's a recipe from his mother he passes on to lucanis (which i'm sure was a what's your favorite food conversation), or his books with taash and bellara. his skills to help neve solve a murder. going camping with harding. even the dad talks with davrin have shades of this, funny as it is. he...speaks to people on their level, i think, to a degree, once he knows what their level and their comfort level is (taash). he can empathize with situations he'll never actually experience himself. and it's like he says, a good instructor never makes a student feel inferior.

it's the loneliness thing i wanna circle back to a second, though, because it's my ultimate point: for all of this, for all of his flaws and his fears and his kindness, what the heart of his actual issue that needs addressing is is that loneliness. if you bring manfred back, he'll tell rook, you know, that he has pangs for what might have been, but seeing manfred grow and his excitement for his new magic and getting to be an apprentice mage is something he wouldn't change for the world. if unromanced he stumbles into one, anyway, full of adventure that wouldn't necessarily be the kind he'd find himself in, in his daily, normal life. his genuine distress toward the beginning, after he's recruited, when he feels like he's being judged and shut out (his commentary on other people's commentary on his skulls and manfred, his and taash's issues finally coming to a head).

like this man is lonely, y'all, and looking for human connection, and i don't think he entirely realizes it as the core of that overwhelming sense of dread. thinking about all his little notes in the codices, like...outside of lecture notes there's always some mention of someone from the veilguard in them, davrin and silly questions, or harding and burning the dead, or how davrin showed him flowers he's only seen in herbalism books and how excited he is for that. and if he turns to lichdom, he loses all of that. he loses manfred, and he does not get over it. instead he gets, like, five minutes of euphoria and then it's people finding him crying over manfred in his room and the deep regret when even spite confronts him about how manfred should be there.

so...yeah. that's a lot of words to say i don't think lichdom solves anything, and in fact actually probably makes things worse, because sure, he gets to live forever. with everyone around him that he loves dying, no manfred, and in the end he'll still end up alone, which is the core of the issue, i think.

[uniiiquehecrt]

I'm thinking in terms of actual real life experiences I've had when I say this, but I'd imagine part of what makes being a Thor enjoyer so frustrating in 2024/MCU's phase 4+ era is that... you're effectively not allowed to enjoy your favorite superhero.

I once had a conversation with a close friend of mine during a casual outing, and without going into very many details, this particular person is an enjoyer of Ragnarok, and enjoys Tailka's work overall. Now, I should say right off the bat: there is nothing wrong with these opinions. Everyone is entitled to like what they like and enjoy the work of creators just the same as other people are allowed to dislike them. For this particular post, I'm not here to get into fandom wars or "reasons why taika waititi is a terrible director" beef. I have other posts in line for that. But what I will say is that I already knew this about my friend, so it never surprised me when the topic of Thor came up that it would be a point of disagreement.

The issue I've found that continues to circle in the general space of "being a Thor fan" came when I expressed that I don't like Ragnarok, I do think Thor was funnier (and just better overall) before Ragnarok and therefore Taika's involvement, and quite frankly Taika had very little business taking on the mantle of director of a superhero franchise he has never liked or understood in his life just because he had mouths to feed. (There are other opportunities to fulfill that. And filmmakers know going into this industry that it's all gig-based and - if they're smart anyways - work around that.) I hadn't even gotten a chance to go through all of the reasons WHY I feel that way, of which I have had before compiled an organized list of about 16 talking points off the top of my head, so as far as that particular discussion goes... it didn't go anywhere. We were busy at the time.

But namely what I want to talk about is this:

The response I was given, in summary, was something along the lines of "well I think Thor was boring, and he wasn't my cup of tea, so I'm glad he changed."

But, you see, there's just ONE small issue with that: Thor isn't meant for everyone.

In fact, no character is meant for everyone. So why is it that Thor needs to change to be "for everyone" and be the MCU normies' "cup of tea" when no other character has to? Why does he need to lose his core identity (both as a character, as a franchise, you name it, it's been done) just because people like my friend don't understand him as well as Tony Stark or Spider-Man? And why should Thor fans have tow watch their favorite superhero get stripped down and turned into something completely divorced from the character, world and cast we were first involved with from the beginning?

Nobody at any point has been able to answer me that besides "well just because I didn't like Thor personally."

Iron Man won't appeal to everyone. Neither does Captain America, neither does Spider-Man, beloved as even Spidey is. They have their own quirks, their own villains, their own storylines... Every superhero has a core to them that their stories revolve around. He's from DC, but Superman, for instance, has the core of: love, justice and the American Way. Therefore, his stories revolve around challenging that core, and making Superman prove it. Steve Rogers/Captain America has a similar core. Justice, freedom and the American Way, is what I'd mostly boil his core down to. Thor's is "love" all around. I've written about that '(here)' in my post about his 2011 themes. Maybe it's different for other fans, but for me personally? I adore that about Thor. It's one of the many reasons I'm drawn to him over any other marvel Super besides Spider-Man. (not you tom holland ... yes you andrew garfield...)

So when I go to Thor for entertainment, I'm going to him above the other superheros because I want a story that revolves around HIS core and how Thor goes about reckoning with his challenges. I also go to MCU Thor specifically for his quiet, kind, regal nature. I come to him for his gravitas, his passion, his relationships with his cast of companions.

I go to him for high-sci-fi action/adventure, or for the "what if we took norse mythology and made it an alien superhero" route they took him in for the MCU. I go to Thor because he IS different from the rest of the Avengers... and that's the point.

So when someone says to me: "Well Thor wasn't for me so I'm glad he changed", or "Well I really liked Ragnarok because Thor kind of become more in line with the other Avengers"... they're fundamentally missing the point of why Thor has a fanbase at all.

[alexistalkscomics]

The Ultimates #5 is one of the best comics of the year!!!!

Today, I finally had the privilege of being able to read the most recent issue of Ultimates after having to wait longer than usual to read last week’s releases due to delivery delays but my G-d!, was it worth the wait???

This issue sees the introduction of the new Ultimate Universe’s (Earth 6160) version of Hawkeye who as you can obviously see from the pages above, is not the traditional Clint Barton incarnation of Hawkeye. Instead, we are introduced to Charli Ramsey (They/Them), an Indigenous American person of Lakota heritage who found the costume and gear that was intended for Clint Barton after he threw it away as we saw in the first issue.

Whilst I was already curious about who exactly Ultimate Hawkeye was going to be upon seeing the solicitation for this issue, I was not expecting to love this version of the character so much.

Rooting Charli’s motivation in the historical struggles of Indigenous people that are still ongoing today is a great move on the part of writer Deniz Camp that makes the character feel more real as they’re motivated by the idea of rising up against a real injustice that’s still occurring today in our world and it’s also helps to add to the incredible world building that Camp has been doing in Ultimates by showing that despite the alternate history compared to the more grounded Earth 616 of the mainstream Marvel Universe, Earth 6160 is still representing the world outside of our window in some of the worst ways.

I also greatly enjoyed how a central theme of this issue was the nature of destiny and if Charli should even be allowed to be Hawkeye just because Tony’s files say that they don’t meet the criteria needed to be a hero in his eyes as it helps to build up the brewing conflict in Ultimates as to whether or not the ultimate goal (pun not intended) of Tony and Doom’s revolution is to simply free Earth 6160 from the control of the Maker’s council or to merely make it into a world that more closely resembles Earth 616 even if that isn’t what this universe truly needs because of how different it is to other versions of the Marvel Universe.

The only major flaw that I would say that this issue really has is in regards to its pacing. Due to having to commit to the single issue story format of the other Ultimate comics, the pacing for this story feels a bit faster than it had to be. I really think that this story could have benefited a lot from being a two-partner instead. Having an extra issue to tell this story could have really helped Camp to further flesh out Charli’s characterisation and also build on their dynamic with Cap and explore how both of them are attempting to represent and fight for the same ideals despite Steve’s uniform representing a symbol of subjugation in the eyes of many people which is something that is briefly focused on in the actual issue.

Overall, I would highly recommend picking this issue up either in print (to support your local comic book stores) or in digital format or both if you’re fond of Marvel Comics’ free digital code program where physical single issues come with codes for free digital editions that can be redeemed on their website and then read on the Marvel Unlimited app.

9/10

[sixthsensewulf]

Just more Gorgug things which turns into Zac's PCs things. . Since half the time in Intrepid Heroes campaigns. .Zac's characters always steal my heart. . .

Gorgug doesn't go into a violent rage. His rage is quiet, his anger is known in the protectiveness that he does for his friends.

Like if you look at bad kids as a whole.. naturally you would assume the half orc is the barbarian because of the height difference of the group and the weapon of choice. But the personality doesn't match up... And besides it's an adventuring academy.. anyone could do anything. The half orc could have multi classed.. he is the quiet, reserved member of the group. One of the designated drivers for the bad kids. He has a healthy relationship with his emotions, if he doesn't well he has the rest of his party to lean on. He was a bullied kid by one of his party members early on freshman year and yet they have gotten on so well. When he loses it, he loses it in a way that doesn't harm his friends. The anger is directed towards his enemy or the creature that they are fighting. He doesn't raise his voice that often.

He literally is the personification of "Don't anger the quiet friend"..

WHICH come to think of it. . .I've noticed that it is a common theme throughout Zac's PCs actually.

PiP in Neverafter. .the only one who didn't yell in anger. . His anger was cold, threats etc. "Do you want to join him?", his early interactions with Alphonse. "Where did you go buddy? Where did you go when we needed you most my friend?"

Skip in ASO. . Not so much Skip but mostly Norman...but again, there wasn't that much anger around in that ship. .the anger at the slug dynasty could count. .

Lapin in aCoC... Yep this guy has a quiet anger with him. Although he and Theo have those heated discussions.. it's more Lapin enjoying the fact that he can pull that anger out of Theo, he never was upset or angry at the captain. His anger was directed at the sugar plum fairy, at the bulb, at the hand that the entire Rocks Family was dealt.

Finally Ricky. . . From Unsleeping City. . He literally is the "don't mess with or piss off the quiet one". In chapter 2. . Tony, one of the bads of that season, kidnapped Ester, tried to annoy Sofia, ended up pissing off Esther's partner. Someone that Tony had no real contact with each other. Someone that no relationship with Tony at all. And yet... Ricky needed a "fucking weapon". . .and using his partner's old magical bat The only time that he had sworn.. The only time that he actually wanted to hurt someone and resort to violence immediately. Another anger moment was Ricky with Cody in the Questing Blade moment. . the rest of the group (the voxs and Sofia) seeing Ricky punch something in anger. Sofia also punching a wall is normal for them.. . But Ricky? That is new. . . The voxs calming Ricky down so he can help deal with the issue of everything in the tunnel to the best of his ability.

[sineala]

Hi Sine, have you read the new Ultimates (2024)? Any thoughts? I'm currently on the fence, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I have read the new Ultimates! I have actually been keeping up with it since Ultimate Invasion, so I've read Ultimate Invasion and Ultimate Universe and am also mostly keeping up with Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate Black Panther, and Ultimate X-Men, but since none of those three are really my corner of comics fandom I think I am less qualified to speak to how they are going since I don't generally follow their 616 counterparts and wasn't reading them in the original-flavor Ultimate universe either.

I think the actual Ultimates comic itself has a surprising amount of potential and I'm liking it a lot more than I expected to like it considering that we are only two issues in and the fact that I'd literally never heard of the writer before did not fill me with a lot of confidence. But, y'know, I'm here for Steve and Tony and if Steve and Tony are friends I am, in that regard, fairly easy to please.

So I like the team dynamic so far, but from the beginning I haven't really been a fan of the worldbuilding, and I think a lot of my problems with the worldbuilding would be fixed if they simply had not also called this Ultimates, but as we all know, it is forbidden for Marvel to come up with new names for anything ever.

See, the original Ultimates had a pretty clear and relatively unique mission statement: it was meant to be a low-continuity universe, set in something closer to the real world than 616 is, with grittier and more realistic storylines. The idea was that fans could read and enjoy this universe without needing to know decades of backstory. And, sure, if you knew the backstories there would often be little Easter Eggs, but you're totally capable of reading and enjoying Ults 1, say, if you don't know why the Hulk is gray or why Hank and Jan have a terrible relationship. Because within the context of Ults, that's just how things are. Sure, they're that way because of things that happened in 616, but you don't need to know that.

The original Ults is also gritty and grimdark and polarizing. A lot of people don't like it. The new Ults universe has almost nothing in common with it except that the Maker (Reed Richards) originally hails from Earth-1610. Which, as it happens, does affect the plot a lot, but old Ults and new Ults are different things, and I think the shared name actually hurts new Ults. Because, when you think about it, who's going to want to read this? You've got the people who liked old Ults and are sad that this isn't it. And then you've got the people who didn't like old Ults and have been avoiding this universe because they assume it's the same one. So who's left? People who just like the name "Ultimates?" People who are willing to take a chance on anything Marvel releases? I just feel like there are probably fewer of those people.

I know that the new Ults universe was supposed to be Donny Cates' project before he had to leave due to medical issues, and that Ultimate Invasion was then taken over by Hickman. And honestly I would have liked to see Cates' take, because I wasn't a big fan of Hickman's Ults run, mostly because I didn't like the Maker -- so I'm not, you know, really thrilled that the one thing that gets kept from Earth-1610 is my least favorite character.

The new Ults universe has also pretty much abandoned the two things I thought were the big draw of old Ults: a more "realistic" setting as well as a low amount of continuity. As you probably know, the premise of new Ults is that the Maker goes universe-hopping, gets to Earth-6160, decides that's good enough, stops there, and proceeds to epically fuck shit up. He has his City going, just like 1610. The Earth now has a handful of massive countries, which I guess makes it easier for a shadowy cabal to rule them. So we are definitely abandoning any kind of real-world…geopolitical similarity. Britain and France are the same country; Captain Britain speaks French. China and Japan are the same country. The US fell apart in the 60s. I mean, it's not necessary to use real places in superhero comics -- DC and its array of fictional cities seems to be doing fine -- but it seems weird to do it here when that was supposed to be part of the attraction of Ults (and later on, the MCU, which pulled a lot from Ults). It's a thing people like to read. It gives you a little more investment, I think, as a reader.

The Maker's goal is to prevent superheroes from showing up at all by taking them off the playing field. He gets there at some point after WWII -- because Steve was still Captain America and got iced -- but before the modern Marvel universe kicks off. The Maker is clearly going after as many people as he can. He prevents Peter Parker from being bitten by the spider. He has a creepy museum/mausoleum where he collects artifacts and corpses of dead heroes; for example, we see an adamantium skeleton that is presumably Wolverine's.

Of course, the heroes aren't going to stand for this. Which heroes, you ask? Who's left? Well… mostly Tony, actually. In this universe, Tony is very young and has more of an MCU-influenced backstory in terms of his relationship to his father and to Obadiah Stane. He's also Iron Lad. So, yes, this is a Kang thing. He has help from this universe's Reed (who is masked like Doom) and they're going to assemble the Ultimates and get back as many heroes as they can. Tony finds middle-aged Peter Parker (who is married to MJ and, oh, yeah, Uncle Ben's still alive) and gets him a spider. They are going to fix the world and make everything right.

Is this fun? I think so! I am down for a plot where Tony restores superheroes to his world. However, the thing it isn't is low-continuity. Unlike original Ults, there is so so so much continuity just embedded into the worldbuilding. We see the Maker's big list of characters he's gotten rid of. You're already supposed to know who these people are.

If you pick up the original Ults, let's say Millar's Ults 1 & 2, you don't need to know anything about anything. Sure, like I said, there are lots of things in it that are callbacks to 616, but you don't actually need to know what they are to understand the plot. But everything in new Ults is, within the plot, a reference to something else in the multiverse. They're putting things back the way they were. To do that, you actually need to know something about the way things were. Some of this stuff is going to be obvious to most people who are even vaguely familiar with comics -- I don't read Spider-Man, generally, and even I know it's a big deal that Uncle Ben is alive. But not all the changes are as big as that, and if you don't know them, it's confusing. Ultimate X-Men is all about a teenage schoolgirl named Hisako, in the country presumably formerly known as Japan. "Mutants" don't seem to be a recognized group of people. She doesn't know anything about her powers and I didn't even know she was a mutant until someone told me that was Armor, a mutant obscure enough that I only vaguely remembered her after I was told her name. I spent all of issue 1 wondering who this character was and why I was reading a horror comic about her classmates dying and what she had to do with anything. Apparently she's a mutant and I would know that if I had kept up with X-Men.

Over in the realm of the Ultimates themselves, the worldbuilding has a lot of stuff I wouldn't bank on people just knowing. Does a casual fan know who Iron Lad is? It's probably going to matter! The FCBD issue features Steve liberating Jim Hammond from the Maker's storage. Now, I am very fond of the Invaders and I was thrilled that someone here at Marvel remembered Jim Hammond, but I would bet that a lot of people reading this don't know who Jim Hammond is or why Steve wants to find him. Similarly, I thought Midas was a great villain for Ultimates #2 but I also read a discussion thread where someone asked who he was and three people in a row managed to extremely confidently misidentify Midas' origin and what decade of comics he was from. The earliest they got was the 90s. (Iron Man #17 is from 1969, guys. Also the first appearance of Whitney Frost as Madame Masque, which is why I know it.)

(Skipping ahead a little to the Ultimates team itself, you can take Hank and Jan as an example. They're both recruited in Ultimates #1 and Hank learns about what he's like on other worlds and his first concern is whether he's going to hurt Jan if he becomes a superhero. To fully understand this plot point, you actually need to know what Hank has done, because otherwise you don't actually know what he is upset about -- and that means you need to be familiar with a bunch of other comics. In the old Ults, Hank just hits Jan. Yes, Mark Millar went for the gritty, edgy choice. But it's also a choice that doesn't require you to know anything about Hank hitting Jan in any other universe. It just matters that it's happening here.)

This is a roundabout way of saying that, after Ultimate Invasion and Ultimate Universe, and seeing the starts of the other Ultimate comics, I didn't have high hopes for the new Ultimates comic, and I also had never heard of the writer, which didn't really help.

And then I started reading the new Ultimates comics and I know we've only got two issues but I honestly really like them. Like I said, I am here for the high-continuity new universe; I don't think that's necessarily going to be a winning long-term move in terms of getting new Ults fans, but, like, I am in this fandom partly because I like being in fandoms with massive amounts of continuity.

Jan is great. Did I say that already? No? Jan is so great.

And, of course, I am a Steve/Tony fan, so I am here for the Steve/Tony dynamic and I think it's really interesting. Steve wants to have a revolution. Hell yeah. I'll definitely read that Captain America. He knows the world's wrong and he wants to fix it. 1610 Steve -- in early canon, at least -- just kind of exuded depression from every pore and Did Not Want To Be Here but he was a soldier, goddammit, and he was going to run the mission. 616 Steve was a little more lost, still sad, but kind of keeping that to himself as much as possible and trying to just find meaning in leading the team and the things the team was doing. This new guy seems more like that. but sadder. because the world is way more fucked up. I mean, he woke up and learned America didn't exist anymore, which has to be a downer.

I'm still not a fan of the Iron Lad thing, but the letter Tony writes to Howard is pretty amazing.

It's interesting that Tony is younger and so much less experienced than Steve. He's clearly smart, of course, but it's clear they're not great at teamwork yet -- not because they don't like each other, but because they don't know each other well enough, which I think is interesting and which I haven't really seen in canon, because this wasn't a thing Marvel was going to show us in 1964. But, like, we've had multiple fight scenes where they aren't quite pulling off the plan as intended -- say, when they're rescuing Jim Hammond and no one else can do what Steve is asking so he just does it himself. Or in #1, Steve telling Tony that his recruiting plan isn't going to work, and Tony not listening, and then, surprise, it doesn't work. Or in #2, when Tony tries to tell Steve that his suit modification will drain all his power if he uses it, and he doesn't manage to tell Steve this, so he does the thing when Steve tells him to do it and then, surprise, he has no power. Like, that doesn't happen in 616. Either 616 Tony does the stupid thing without ever telling Steve because he knows Steve would tell him no, or he just flat-out tells Steve no because he's not afraid to disagree with him, or he asks Steve for advice and actually follows it. They don't do this. So this is pretty fun. It's different. Maybe Tony is a little intimidated by Captain America? We shall see!

I'm a little grumpy that Ults is making me like (presumably) Teen Tony, though. I did not like The Crossing! I really did not!

So, yeah, it's interesting! Looking forward to seeing more of it! It could all go wrong, of course, and two issues is kind of a small sample size, but so far I'm into it.

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #63

[the-last-rat-standing]

NCIS S21E02- The Stories We Leave Behind

Is that too harsh? Maybe it's too harsh.

Let me preface this by saying, I can only imagine how hard it must've been to write and film this episode. It's one reason why I don't write DeathFics, and those are only fictional people. Writing the passing of a real person, a friend and a colleague? Must be one of the hardest things to do as a writer.

So maybe that's why this felt so incredibly flat. Maybe trying to find that balance between dealing with the death and moving on dulled the emotional punch of it all? Because beyond the opening and closing, this was barely more than a clip episode shows throw in the middle of a season to save money. And of those flashbacks, we could only get ones with 3 characters who are still on the show, because Knight, Parker and even Torres didn't really know him. (I'll mention the Gibbs flashback in a second.) So you had this random assortment of clips that were supposed to engender emotions, but did the opposite in a way- because they weren't immediate reactions (they were memories), it actually lessened the emotional impact. You know what flashback would've been a kick to the gut? How about someone mention Cate, and then show us the clip of Ducky and Cate together? Then you would've gotten the one-two punch of 2 beloved characters now gone. Because if you're going to show a scene between Gibbs and Ducky that no one was present to see (using Ducky's journals as your 'out'), you could've shown Cate or Jenny or Ziva.

By not showing the funeral, fans missed out on a proper send off and a true tie-in with the past. I know Brian Dietzen said they didn't want it to be crammed full of guest stars, but the only guest star we got was a 3 minute cameo by Michael Weatherly?? If they'd had a funeral, they could've filled the church with faces we remembered and given characters/actors a chance to pay their respects. Imagine the nostalgia in seeing Hollis Mann, Jordan Hampton, Gerald Jackson, Ziva David (would've made sense since they brought Tony back), Abby Sciuto (I know, there are off-screen problems w/PP), Rachel Cranston, etc. I know Jessica Walter has also passed away, but what about the rest of Ducky's detective group? What about Jack Sloane? Yes, I know these may have added more storytelling time (particularly Abby and Jack) but did we need McGee's poison ivy flashback?

Other issues:

What happens to Nicholas Mallard? You know, Ducky's half-brother.

What happens to Gibbs' house?

What was the actual proof that the senator was dirty? I mean, real forensic proof? I didn't seem to hear anything other than Parker reading off the autopsy report and the Marine. Or I guess we're just meant to think that ruined his career? Because they didn't charge him with murder or anything.

The entire story hinged on McGee remembering one of the pictures hid a safe? Like Ducky's only clue to an important case was a cryptic line in his journal? smh

This was... this was just not good. One of, if not THE most beloved character on this show and we got a clip episode.

Which brings me back to the Gibbs flashback: As soon as they showed the picture of Gibbs and Ducky on the bookshelf, I knew we weren't going to see Mark. And that disappoints me more than it should, really. After tonight, we should never, ever see Gibbs on this show again, because there will be no bigger reason for him to return than Ducky's death, and he didn't show. Any reason after tonight will be bullshit and a slap in the face to the fans who supported and fell in love with the Gibbs/Ducky friendship. I'm so bitterly disappointed.

[oluka]

Thoughts on Invincible Iron Man #8 and #9

When I read Invincible Iron Man #8, I couldn’t believe my eyes. A reference to Iron Man #182, in my Iron Man comics? More likely than I thought. The fact that the reference was tasteful and also showcased Duggan’s understanding of Tony’s character was the icing on the cake. To sum up the scene: Tony just got hurt very badly by two Stark Sentinels and is half conscious. He reaches out and asks Emma for help. She gets into his mindscape, which we discover is a snowy alley full with empty bottles and sad tags on the walls.

“No way out, safe, hope”. This is the melodrama I want to see in my Iron Man comics. I also loved that Emma didn’t dismiss Tony’s trauma: “It’s real, but it’s not what’s happening right now.” She helps him get out of this flashback/mindspace, and the fight goes on.

There’s this beautiful panel where Tony surrenders his suit to save Emma:

Look at it!! Look at the colours! Look at the lines! The motion!

Anyways. Tony manages to get Emma away from the fight, taunts Feilong to kill him. Then in issue #9, he refuses Steve’s help when he arrives (because he needs to be alone and he wants to protect his friends) and then he meets up with Emma in the sewers, runs back to his workshop to make her a ring to conceal her from Orchis, and comes back to her. He also bandages his own injuries.

He gets down to the sewers again, and gets into an argument with Emma about his and her actions (or lack thereof) against Orchis/Feilong. And then…

Tony has a panic attack. Which I think is the first time, ever, we see this happening explicitly in an Iron Man comic (I’m happy to be proved wrong). He has a panic attack because everything is going to hell and Rhodey is getting hurt in prison and Feilong is trying to kill Rhodey and Tony. Tony is hurting, physically and mentally, and Duggan does not shy away from showing that. I think that Frigeri made an excellent job in drawing Tony so angry and literally foaming at the mouth: he’s not doing well, his emotions are all over the place. He cries (!!) and asks for help, again. I’m really surprised that Tony asks for help twice in as many issues. Is it because he trusts Emma to calm his mind? Is it easier for him to ask her instead of his friends because it’s less personal? Or is he so desperate that there is no other way? I don’t know. Regardless, it’s interesting.

This time, Emma brings him to his happy place:

His happy place, his “idealistic self-image”, is him surrounded by the Iron Man armours. Emma’s comment about there being less unsavoury people and “tramps” than she’d expected pleased my vindicative heart. But more importantly: last issue, we got to see Tony’s worst mindscape, where he falls into when everything is going to hell and he’s dying. And it was him, alone, in the snow, surrounded by his biggest weakness and fear: alcoholism. In this issue, we see his happy place, which is essentially: Iron Man. What Tony loves most about himself is Iron Man, what he hates most is his alcoholism. AAAAAAAA. This is such quintessential Tony. It’s him. I think I haven’t seen such a good characterization in Iron Man comics in a decade. I still barely believe it.

The following panels set up Tony and Emma’s alliance for the upcoming comics. Judging from the solicits for IIM 12 and 13, they’re going to be a team for at least until those issues, and maybe further.

Emma’s ruthlessness and Tony’s genius can make for a deadly combo. They’re not playing around. I hope we will see them shine together. I can’t wait for them to give Feilong and Orchis what they deserve. Also, note the way they phrase their alliance: “To their deaths.” Add to that the way they are framed, both dressed sharply and facing each other like that, and my mind immediately made the connection to wedding vows: “Until death do us part”. Am I reading too much into it, or was this intentional from Duggan and Frigeri? Maybe future wil tell.

To end this long post, here are unrelated thoughts:

1. I love the current trend of Avengers actively helping Mutants fight against Orchis. We have Tony, of course, but also Steve who reformed the Uncanny Avengers to fight against Orchis; Thor just saved a mutant in Immortal Thor #1, we’ve had mentions of Vision, Reed and T’Challa helping on the information side… It’s great. Between AXE Judgment Day and Fall of X, it seems that Marvel writers/editorial have decided to stop pitting the X-men and Avengers against each other. Let’s hope it stays that way. Avengers help everyone, and it’s nice to finally see it even in x-men books. Also, it gives us awesome panels:

2. Tony is his own nemesis confirmed. Thank you, Duggan.

And that’s it! If you’ve read this far, consider telling me in comments or tags what you thought. I might start doing posts like this for every Iron Man comic week.

[uservarric]

Do Rich Rider next!

1. favorite thing about them

oh i love him i love how he’s genuinely just a completely average guy - earth heroes “average guys” tend to always be super geniuses ie. peter parker. but rich is genuinely just a completely average normal dude. he flipped burgers when he wasn’t nova-ing! he barely scraped through high school (again, cause of the nova thing!). he was just a genuinely normal teenager with a complex cause of his super smart little brother. becoming nova was both the best and worst thing to ever happen to him.

2. least favorite thing about them

man is lowkey self-obsessed in the sense a depressed person is. everything is his fault, he’s pathetic, he’s wasting everyone’s time. he was like this even before he got powers - he clearly has self-worth issues that just get exacerbated the more he survives. clearly not the only person who clocked this because rich going into therapy was such a huge step!

3. favorite line

Holy shit he’s such an icon

“Let’s scream in his face anyway.” 🥺

“I pulled [Annihilus] inside out and saved the universe. What have YOU done lately, Tony?”

“Shut it, warcrimes.”

“I loved him too. You know that, right?” I’m UNWELL

“Please, Rich. I think you need to talk to someone about this.” “About the fan-sites?” “About the fact you’re dying.” he’s UNWELL

“Let’s review. Your ride is toast. I’m Nova. You’re dead. Allow me to demonstrate.” HOT.

4. brOTP

sam alexander. they’re brothers!!!

also the new warriors. that group tends to be ignored these days as a very formative time in Rich’s life - i’m due a reread, i’m part of the problem, i haven’t read that in over 12 years! but yeah, so many fond memories there <3

5. OTP

peter quill. they’ve just made so much sense forever

6. nOTP

idk if I really have one tbh? he’s not popular enough for these to form

7. random headcanon

Rich’s real superpower is that he’s actually turned into a surprisingly good cook. He finds the process quite relaxing. Which the guardians really appreciate because Pete “no patience” Quill burns everything because he gets distracted and, while they won’t admit it, they did grow accustomed to earth food while they were stuck down there.

8. unpopular opinion

Thank god he never made it into the MCU. Since 2006 has been going from strength to strength in the comics (a part from the few years when he was dead!). Since he came back in 2016/17 I don’t think anything he has been in has been bad. He either has the magic touch or he’s insanely lucky for dodging MCU synergy and having writers who clearly love him!!

9. song I associate with him

Fortress by Queens of the Stone Age

Watch me While I Bloom by Hayley Williams

10. favorite picture of them

juann cabal Rich is my little guy his big brown eyes <3

[darthdisasterous]

Folks that think that the RDJ casting is indicative of lack of confidence in the upcoming slate have either memory holed or missed the Jonathan Majors of it all.

Because this is the end of a fuck up so bad, they had to change the entire MCU to correct it.

See, at SDCC 2022, Feige announced that Loki Season Two would premiere in Summer 2023, along with the Kang Avengers movies announcement. There was even the Kang run of comics that died on the vine.

This was also 6 or so months before Quantum Mania, which featured a Kang as a villain and began building out the Kang villain issue for the entire MCU.

Now that film didn't go so well, but in the end, you see an arena of Kangs waiting to take over.

Then Majors got arrested in March 2023 for domestic abuse against his then girlfriend, who happened to be another Disney employee.

Following that, Loki somewhat oddly got pushed back to Fall 2023. Which could've been normal reshoot/filming issues except this is Marvel in their assembly line era and also, they got real quiet about Kang Dynasty.

Now, Loki S2 fixed the Kang issue by putting Loki on the throne as the controller of ALL timelines. But it couldn't fix the larger issue that was the fact that all this multiverse build out was for Kang since I don't know if the endgame was always going to be Secret Wars.

So they need to scramble fast and that scramble leads them to Doomsday, which just happens to tie into the announcement of One Nation Under Doom, which drops in 2025 and features a very red cover for a notably green character. Also, there's the What If... where Tony Stark was Doctor Doom, which very much jives with this whole 'multiverse' thing.

And you know what will get asses in seats after the mess of pandemics and strikes and just really shit movies with no real cohesion to them? The very reason the MCU exists.

So they get back RDJ. And they get back the Russos. And love them or hate them, no one is focusing on Kang and how one man blew up the entire back end of a Marvel era by being an abusive dickhead.

[theelectronicstranger]

Ultimate Spider-Man Issue 2 and 3 Discussion

          It’s been a while since I talked about Ultimate Spider-Man. I’m going to be talking about Issue 2 and 3 in this post, so it might get a little hectic. If you have not read these issues, then look away now because I’m going to be spoiling a lot of it. I still think this book is a great read and I’m very much hooked on the story. I really would urge people to go out there and buy this book.

          First, I want to talk about how this series is confirmed to be taking place in real time. The first issue took place in January, the second issue took place in February and now this third issue takes place in March. I really like this decision that we’re seeing this Peter progress as Spider-Man in real time, but I feel like the issues need to be longer because of this decision (*cough* Also, they need to be longer because these new books are $4.99! *cough*). I feel like we’re missing certain interactions and I feel like some characters are not getting as much room to develop in the book because of this. Specifically, MJ and Richard. We rarely get to see them, and I just want to see them more in the book. This is more of a nitpick right now for me and not something that I’m constantly bothered by. I know they’re setting up something with MJ and Richard because they have shown them noticing things with Peter and May. Although, I just want to see more of them to get a better sense of their characters.  I also just really want more interactions with them because right now we see only Peter and May interacting for the most part.

February from Issue 2:

Pictures of Mary Jane and Richard noticing something is up with Peter and May (March from Issue 3):

          Speaking of Peter and May, I really love their dynamic; I love it whenever they’re on a page together. I love that May is pretty much the reason why Peter is even continuing this Spider-Man thing because if you really think about it, Peter doesn’t really have a reason to be Spider-Man in this universe except for what Tony Stark told him. Sure, in issue 1, it was set up that he feels like there’s something that’s been missing in his life and that he wants to do more, but this Peter doesn’t really know what this superhero thing is all about; he doesn’t really have the proper motivation to become Spider-Man like his main universe counterpart. His main universe counterpart knows that with his great power comes great responsibilities through the tragedy of losing Uncle Ben to a criminal he could have stopped. However, in this universe, that motivation is gone. Yes, you could argue that: losing Aunt May from the blast in Ultimate Universe #1; Tony saying that he’s been robbed by the Maker of a heroic future; and Tony saying that he’ll need him to free this universe of the Maker’s influence, is this Peter’s initial motivation into becoming Spider-man.

Blast from Ultimate Universe #1:

Tony telling Peter about his robbed future (Issue 1):

However, I do not think that this is enough motivation for him to keep going in this universe because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He literally almost quits being Spider-Man in Issue 2 because the Shocker of this Universe knocks him out twice. The first time, he was too naïve and trusted the Shocker that he would stop robbing the bank then turn himself in (Issue 2):

The second time, he believed the Shocker’s story about a dying wife, which led to him being shocked again:

The reason that Peter is continuing this Spider-Man role is because of May. He was literally coming to terms with the idea that this life was not for him after being beaten by the shocker twice until he saw May’s note on their fridge door. She is his motivation for still doing this; he’s giving it ONE MORE DAY because of May (Issue 2):

In Issue 3, we have scenes of them figuring out what Peter’s Spider-Man costume should look like, which i just found really adorable. If you have a keen eye, then you’ll notice that all of these costumes that he tries on are different variations of costumes that a Spider-Man/Person has worn before. For example, the first costume looks like the Sam Raimi Symbiote Suit, and the second costume looks like Ben Reily’s original suit but in different colors. I love that May ends up being the one that chooses the iconic Spider-Man costume for Peter. I also love that her main categories seem to be that it needs to have the spider symbol on it, and it needs to not be scary, which I just find cute, and it totally makes sense for what would be important for a child. I also love the page that comes afterwards is a page of Peter swinging around New York with May holding on behind him. It’s really just nice to see a Spider-Man that is happy with his family. I really do hope that nothing bad happens in this book in regard to Peter’s family, but it’s a Spider-Man story so the chances of something bad happening is never zero.

Trying on costumes (Issue 3):

Swinging around New York (Issue 3):

          I want to talk about Harry Osborn in Issue 3. Since the first issue, it was speculated that he was going to be the Green Goblin, so it was great to finally get confirmation that he is. We’re still not sure if he’s a good guy or not. My idea from my last discussion was that this version of Spider-Man and this version of the Green Goblin are going to have a Daredevil and Punisher kind of dynamic. Peter’s going to be the be a by the book kind of hero, where he’s not going to kill and he’s going to try to put these criminals behind bars. Meanwhile, Harry is going to be an antihero, where his version of justice is going to be a bit skewed, and he might not be opposed to killing any of these criminals. He has been attacking Wilson Fisk’s businesses in this title so far though; he’s been attacking him since Issue 1. This is just my speculation for now. Although, seeing them fight Bullseye in Issue 3 definitely made me draw those comparisons more:

Also, Harry did lose people from the blast from Ultimate Universe #1 as well, so what if Hickman is trying to show that Peter and Harry are two sides of the same coin, but Peter has this big family he can get support from while Harry doesn’t really have anyone anymore. That’s why he’s more destructive and vengeful. I don’t know if he has a wife and kids in this universe, but we do know that he lost both of his parents from the blast. As far as I know, he's alone. Also, the way he outs Peter in Issue 3 did not sit well with me. He literally had control over his costume and basically forced him to unmask himself. I guess we’ll see more of Harry in the upcoming months, but right now I’m not really feeling him as a good guy. I just hope he doesn’t become the typical sadistic Green Goblin because that would mean danger for Peter’s family.

Harry unmasking Peter (Issue 3):

          I want to talk about Jonah and Uncle Ben for a bit because they’re starting their own newspaper and it’s nice to see their insights into what’s going on in their world right now. For example, in Issue 2, they talk about Spider-Man and the Green Goblin. How the Green Goblin has been trying to kill Wilson Fisk (the Kingpin) for a month now, but nobody seems to mention his name in the Daily Bugle or anything the Kingpin owns. They’re basically burying any mention of the Green Goblin, so that the public will not think that there’s any shady thing going on in Wilson Fisk’s businesses. What they are running with and what’s front page of the Daily Bugle is Spider-Man. I like how both Jonah and Uncle Ben immediately knew that they’re using Spider-Man as a distraction from all the Green Goblin attacks. I also like how this issue shows how resourceful they both are because they literally have contacts everywhere even inside the impenetrable Wilson Fisk empire. I think Issue 2 shows how experienced these two are in their field, but also shows how these two are not afraid of Wilson Fisk and would take him head on if they could. However, that could be dangerous for the two as well because taking on the Kingpin is never a safe endeavor.

J. Jonah Jameson and Uncle Ben talking about Spider-Man and Green Goblin (Issue 2):

In Issue 3, we see their new office, which is not the best, but I really love just seeing these two old timers starting anew at their age. It kind of gives me some hope that at their age maybe I could start over if I ever needed to. Also, in this issue, Hickman kind of teases that Peter might work for Uncle Ben and Jonah once they’re all set up. I hope he does end up working for them because I think it’ll be a really interesting dynamic to see; specifically, Peter trying to hide his identity from his uncle. I just want to see that.

          That’s all I want to talk about in the book for now. Sorry it was kind of all over the place. I also kind of wanted to talk about MJ more but like I said she’s not really doing a lot right now in these past issues. I definitely feel like they’re setting something up with her and their son, Richard. I think by the end of this year they might actually find out that Peter is Spider-Man. I’m definitely still enjoying this book and I suggest that everyone get it if they’re a fan of Spider-Man. There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t talk/show as well, so you should definitely get it for that. Also, I think Marco Checchetto's art just makes this book worth buying every month.

Thank you for reading my discussion of this book! I’d love to know what you guys think of this series so far as well. How do you guys like this new Ultimate Universe? I hope you guys have a great day!