#which is a genuinely good question and one Kamal has asked himself on more than one occasion. Why has he been thrust in the spotlight.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

I know Inquisition goes for the "Do you think anything you did ever mattered Hawke?" but I keep thinking about my Hawke and how self-centered he can be at times, at his best caring most about his friends than any big picture things in Kirkwall.

A more salient insult for him from a demon would be "Did you ever even try? Have you ever cared about any of the people who looked to you for help?"

[bestkindofbeehive]

Smile for Me Week Day 2: Happiness Fakt!

(I’m only a few hours late in my timezone!! it still counts somewhere, probably. anyways I love boris and I love him healing and I love girls so FK is nonbinary lesbian cause i make all the rules)

One of the best and worst parts of reforming the Habitat was the redecorating.

Best because of the sheer potential every little accessory or color of paint or colored light or safety-necessitated railing could have, once it was all put into place. Some yellow can open this space right up! More trees over here will mean more time spent outside enjoying the shade! An actual pond in the courtyard, with a cute little stone rim! Sunflowers and daylillies out in the carnival, pansies and chrysanthemums in the courtyard, snapdragons and more climbing roses for the terrace (Kamal had mentioned how much he liked them, despite the... circumstances, so how could he not?), bundles and bundles of flowers to plant everywhere, he even had new seeds being mailed in next week and not to mention the hydrangea starts that would look so—

A large folder nearby tilted over, spilling its contents of posters out onto the floor. Ah, right.

Worst because Habit had to sift through every little mistake he’d made and pick out what was salvageable. Flowery fantasy thoroughly put on hold, Habit leaned over with a sigh to begin gathering up the papers littering the ground. In hindsight, so many of these things were so... embarrassing. Physical, in-full-color proof of how unhinged he’d managed to become so quickly, spouting out nonsense onto paper and plastering it all over the walls for the world to see. It was no wonder distrust of the doctor spread so easily around the Habitat, how could it not when—

“Ah! Oh, lemme help,” a small voice called out across the room, smooth and heavy like a round stone. Habit heard the rapid pat-pat-pat of short legs rushing over beside him, and looked down with a grateful smile to see Flower Kid, already gathering up the posters he’d missed. They had offered to come and help sort through everything, which was a boon Habit hadn’t been aware he would so severely need. He never would have predicted that seeing everything with clear eyes would be so... shame-inducing. Hopefully they would have some advice on how to navigate these feelings??

At the moment, though, they were busy sifting through the posters that once decorated the Habitat. With a... smile on their face? That didn’t seem right. A tiny, happy exclamation rang out as they came to a particular pink poster. “Look, it’s my favorite one!” Flower Kid cheered, holding up a poster adorned with a big black beetle and the words “GIRLS ARE COOL” emboldened in a thick font across the bottom.

“...Wait. What do you meen, “favorite”? You acktually liked these?” Habit asked, genuinely confused at FK’s cheery reaction. He’d used every opportunity to antagonize and discourage them throughout their stay, so surely these posters would only remind them of that horrible time, yes? Was he misunderstanding something??

Now it was FK’s turn to be confused. With their brows crinkled, they gave a quick and decisive nod. “Mhm! I liked reading them even if they were a lil’ odd... and this one is about girls and has a big beetle on it so it’s perfect,” they explained, waving the poster a bit for emphasis.

It took him a moment to realize why they had such attachment towards it, but once he made the connection, Habit laughed and patted Flower Kid’s head. “Ah, because you are little lesbiab, hm?”

Flower Kid let out a short, sharp giggle and reached up to pat down their hair where it’d been ruffled. “Mhm!” they replied, then looked up at Habit with such unrestrained, simple joy in their eyes he felt a bit dizzy. So many intense feelings at once... like an emotional conga line. Though he felt a bit guilty for not matching Flower Kid’s happy mood, it made the question thrum ever harder in his mind: how on earth were they finding joy out of these ominous things?

In the meantime, FK had gone back to flipping through the posters, mumbling bits of phrases to themselves as they went. “Th’ vole... ocean blood... uh... ooh! Yappy dog! I like this one too,” they said. None of them seemed to cause anything worse than a confused tilt of their head.

Habit couldn’t help himself. He knew he’d just end up bringing the mood back down again, but the little Flower next to him seemed to know something he didn’t, some answer that would make all of this clear enough to move past. That’s what they seemed to do best, so maybe...!

“These are— Flower, eye— ...Why don’t these make yu upset?” Habit finally blurted out, unconsciously crinkling the edges of the few posters in his hand.

Flower Kid’s attention veered back to Habit, their face slowly filling in with worry and confusion. Then, after a moment of studying the acutely miserable expression looking back down at them, they seemed to understand what was going on. They reached out and grabbed hold of Habit’s big green hand and tugged him down to sit on the floor beside them. With their legs criss-cross-applesauce, they gently laid out the Happiness Fakt posters across the floor in front of them.

“...I know that looking at a lot of this stuff probably makes you sad, cause you wish it didn’t happen,” they began softly. “But I think— I think that even if you did it for a bad reason, it doesn’t mean that everything that happened because of it was bad too. You didn’t make these when you were in a very good place, but when I saw them I would smile.”

Habit stared at the pictures littering the ground and let himself mull over his thoughts. He’d wanted to make people happy. He’d built this place with that intention, and found himself so sorely lacking in making-people-happy abilities that everything began to muddle together. Puppet shows. Cheerful attendants. Colorful signs. Teeth. By the end of it, he was so sure that unless he had a Big Enough Smile, everything he touched would turn to misery. It made sense at the time, but now...

At some point Flower Kid had leaned up against him, effortlessly settled in his space. They continued. “And even with... everything, I think I was still happy. I got to meet everyone and help them and be friends with them, and I think that’s all I wanted, really.”

“I think I get what you meen.”

He still wasn’t so sure if he understood how happiness could come from the mess he’d made. In spite of it, maybe, but because of? So many unhappy memories clogged his place, but if what Flower Kid said was true... Maybe he didn’t have to write all of it off as One Big Mistake. Maybe the time for squashing things flat and burying them deep had past. Maybe it was time to pick out what was salvageable, and keep moving forward.

The room was quiet with a comfortable silence. Next to him, Flower Kid stirred, pointing at a different poster lying just ahead of them. “Actually, I think this one’s my favorite,” they murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. This one was a sparkly blue, with a bright red strawberry in the middle.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

[salamandergoo]

Kamal finding out that everyone on the team are going through their own personal problems and he's always been a dick about it but he didn't realise how bad some of it was (Ryland hating himself and feeling unloved, Sam realising that she's probably never going to be a professional tennis player etc) and that he should be nicer, but it's hard for him because he's not very good with emotions.