#which im noticing a lot of authors feel
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shostakobitchh · 7 months ago
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rewriting chapter 58... because I hated everything I wrote after sitting on it for a week. Snape is not cooperating.
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 4 months ago
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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lujingheswife · 1 year ago
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eyes of silver and gold
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soulmate au! everyone has heterochromia, one eye is your natural colour the other is your soulmate’s natural colour. once you meet eye contact, all eyes return to its natural colour.
featuring: neuvillette
word count: 1075
cw: soulmate!au, reader is a liyue adeptus, gn!reader, reader’s eyes are GOLD because GOLD, traveler can be lumine or aether (they/them pronouns), intentional lowercase, not proofread
author’s notes: super duper rushed IM SORRY,,,, this could be written better but yeah 😭😭 i’ll do better next time !!! (i love soulmate aus)
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
neuvillette blinked at the reflection of himself on the mirror for the nth time. it was not the first time he had done so, but every time he observed the eyes of the citizens of fontaine it made him question what made his soulmate so special.
because one thing for sure, he was almost certain his soulmate was not human.
the chief justice knew the eyes of a human when he sees one. their round iris, and the common eye colours of brown or blue could easily tell that they’re merely human.
however, his soulmate’s eye replacing his left one did not look like the eyes of a human. it was an unnatural colour, usually similar to the eye colours of those who wield a vision. what caught his attention though, was the pattern of his soulmate’s eye that stood out amongst the others. like how his eyes are of a dragon’s, and lady furina’s eyes are of dewdrops, his soulmate’s eye, igniting a warm colour, shouted gold.
the first thing he had in mind was the land of gold where the geo element usurper resided. he knew liyue was a land of the adepti, where many immortals who once battled in the archon war still lived in the mountains of amber.
yet for centuries living as the hydro dragon, he had never once encountered his soulmate.
was it because of the distance between them? it was understandable, after all, for an adeptus to remain loyal to their homeland.
he had visited liyue a few times but failed to find this soulmate of his. maybe they were not residing in liyue after all?
neuvillette chose to let fate decide.
he heaved a small sigh as he turned away from the mirror, back to his office desk to continue checking the documents for the next trial.
“monsieur neuvillette!” a loud, squeaky voice which he knew belonged to a certain floating alien chimed through the door. he watched as surprisingly, only paimon, flew her way into his office with an excited expression.
he blinked confusedly at her unusual demeanour. “miss paimon,” he called, “how may i assist you today?”
he allowed her to take her time as she panted heavily. “your—“ she looked up at him and he swore he saw her eyes sparkling a lot brighter than usual. “my?” he asked.
“soulmate! we found your soulmate!! they’re outside!” paimon exclaimed excitedly.
neuvillette’s world stopped for a millisecond, for he had not known that his soulmate had just traveled kilometres from the southern liyue to the northern fontaine. he did not realize his legs moved on his own, allowing paimon to drag him by the sleeve towards the outside of the opera house.
“monsieur?” he heard paimon called before snapping himself out of his thoughts. he noticed her looking at him in concern, realizing he had stopped his tracks right by the door. “are you okay?” she asked.
is he okay? he wondered the same.
he felt an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, as if someone— or something, was banging the drums inside. he felt the drums getting louder and faster, and he could not feel his legs anymore.
he inhaled sharply. “i’m perfectly fine, miss paimon,” he paused in between, “well, let’s meet my… soulmate, shall we?”
his gaze turned towards the entrance of the door, sensing the melusine looking at him eagerly as she patiently waited for him to get ready. “monsieur neuvillette! are you going out?” she asked.
he nodded. “yes, i am. thank you very much.”
the melusine by the door clapped her hands excitedly as she immediately skipped towards the door knob before opening it for him. “well then, enjoy meeting them, monsieur!”
neuvillette watched the door opens before the light outside instantly came greeting him in an embrace.
and the first thing that entered his vision was a pair of heterochromatic eyes that matches his.
you were there with the traveler, dressed in foreign attire not befitting of fontaine. your vision clinging onto your waist like a proud medal. you were by the entrance, surrounded by melusines who were saying how your eyes match their chief justice. he watched how your confused expression tries to have a conversation with the little melusines while the traveler laughed next to you.
the cute moment did not last when the melusines notice the presence of their chief justice, immediately rushing towards him excitedly wanting to ask him about his soulmate. yet his widened eyes had locked with yours, watching your eye adorned with his blueish-purple colour slowly changing back to gold— the familiar gold that greeted him every morning in front of the mirror.
“monsieur neuvillette! your eyes!” he heard a melusine exclaimed, their hands holding his sleeve as they jumped happily.
he blinked confusedly at the tugs of his sleeves when a melusine appeared with a mirror in their hands. they showed a reflection of himself where his eyes were back to his original form— the mixture of silver, blue and purple.
he averted his attention to his soulmate who seemed to be doing the same. you were looking at your own reflection, realizing your eye has reverted to its original form. he watched your surprised expression until you noticed his attention had diverted towards you.
your flushed expressions felt a little foreign to the iudex of fontaine, but he was certainly relieved at the sight of your comfortable state in a foreign region.
he gave you a sincere smile as he placed a hand over his chest as a form of greeting.
“greetings. i’m neuvilette, chief justice and iudex of fontaine. it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
since birth, neuvillette never understood the concept of soulmates until he was given a chance to experience such phenomenon. from when he had awoken to a change in his appearance to encountering the partner that was given to him by fate, it was a surprise that a being like him could have one too.
in fact, his own soulmate was not mortal either. an adeptus originating from the land of gold, you began your exploration in the continent with the fellow traveler when they could not stop persuading you to follow them to meet someone.
a smile was formed on your lips in return as you introduced your name to him, which sounded nice to his ears. “and it’s a pleasure to meet you too, mister neuvillette.”
maybe he could give this concept a try.
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
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vanishingcherry · 1 year ago
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YN YLN and Charles Leclerc Take a Couples Quiz
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pairing: charles leclerc x reader
author's note: this has been in my drafts for wayy to long, so ive decided to just finish it off and post it. im sorry lmao but i just couldn't watch this rot away in my wips any longer.
masterlist
๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑
The video cut to you and Charles, sitting opposite each other in front of a yellow to red gradient, smiling at the camera.
"Hi! I'm YN", you say cheerfully.
"And I'm Charles"
"And we are here to take a couples quiz!"
You are handed a stack of questions from a person off screen, and turn towards Charles.
"Are you ready?"
"Is that the first question?" he retorts.
Your face drops, now showing slight annoyance but there is still a small smile you try to hide. "That's it. Minus 1 points."
"Oh c'mon! That is not fair."
You turn to argue but the video cuts to a different scene in which you ask the actual first question.
"What things do I have, of yours, that are my favourite?
He looks up in thought before chuckling and replying. "Theres a lot, you steal my stuff all the time."
You grin. "Yes, but what's my favourite?"
"My shirts? No wait! My bracelets?" He asks.
"Yeah!" you exclaim. Turning to the camera you add. "He gets so many bracelets from fans and they are all so pretty. We keep them in a bowl on our dresser so I like to take a few whenever I go out."
Looking back at Charles, you add. "You didn't know the answer, but you still got it right so I think you deserve half a point." The staff behind the camera gives you a thumbs up, noting it down for when they would edit the video.
"Ok! Next question- which song of yours is my favourite?"
He looks at you, his eyes widening with a confused expression on his face. He looks at the camera crew and then back at you.
"C'mon, I only have 2 it's not a very hard question."
"Then answer it." you reply, looking at him with a small smirk.
"Fine. Uh, AUS23."
"Wrong!" you exclaim, laughing at the way his jaw drops in surprise.
"Then what? I know its not Miami."
"Its the one you wrote for Baku." you slyly say, knowing fully well that he hadn't released it and you were possibly the only one other than him to have heard it.
You look down at the cards you had been given, reading off the next question. "What is the first thing I eat in the morning?"
You see his smirk growing in your peripheral vision and cut in before he answers. "If you dare make a joke, I will murder you."
He laughs at that, chuckling as he looks up to think. "Um. Breakfast? It's different things every morning, but if I wake up before her then I make cereal."
Noticing the evident confusion on the faces of the cameramen, you elaborate. "It's the only thing he's allowed to make without me present. The last time I let him cook alone, he burned the pancakes and half our kitchen."
Turning red at the story, he interrupts. "Okayy, next question amore."
"Which side of the bed do I sleep on?"
"Left."
"If I could get a tattoo of something, what would it be?"
"A bouquet of flowers. The flowers would be your favourite and my favourite together."
You are shocked at his response. "How did you remember that? I told you that ages ago!"
He smiles slyly to the camera. "That is why I am the best boyfriend, there is no need for these silly questions I am already the best. She told me so in be-"
"Right. Next question." You cut him off, eyes widening as you figure out where he was going with the statement. "This is the last one. If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
"Oh this is easy. Italy. You are always talking about how much you love it. But you also love Monaco and France so depending on how you feel, one of those three."
"Well.", you look at the camera, "I think that answer deserves 2 points." Handing your questions off to the side, you turn to Charles who has started reading the first of his questions.
"If I had a ticket to anywhere in the world, where would I go?" he reads. "This is similar to yours", he mutters.
"Home", you say confidently. "He's a mama's boy, tries to go back home as much as possible."
He blushes slightly before nodding to the camera. "Yup, 1 point."
"What was I wearing on our first date?"
You reply quick as lightening. "A shirt and pants. Very gentlemanly, I remember thinking, probably the best first impression I've had of a guy."
His eyebrows raise at the confession, cockily tilting his head in the direction of the camera. "You heard her! Next, what is something I hate?"
"A lot of things, Char."
"Is that your final answer, cherie?"
"Um." you pause. "Oh I know! When manipulate stuff that you say. It makes me really mad too. It gets really tiresome when they take stuff that Charles has said that turn into into a different story altogether."
"Thats true, I do hate that." He smiles at you, reaching over to squeeze your hand once to say thank you.
"How many kids do I want?"
"3, because you have 2 siblings. But, you said you want as many as I am comfortable with!"
"Of course, amour. You're the one whose going to be carrying them, your choice is more important here. What is something I get annoyed about?"
"Oh, when Seb and Carlos beat you at those Ferrari games you play."
His jaw drops in faux offence, shaking his head as he reads out the last question on his cue card.
"What is one my hidden talents?"
You look straight at the camera, not dissimilar to The Office. A smirk grows on your face and the lens zooms in. In the background Charles can be heard complaining.
"Oh I see! You can make these jokes, but I cant?"
The video cuts to the wider angle once again, you and Charles wave at the camera.
"Thanks for watching our couples quiz! I think it's clear that I've won."
Charles rolls his eyes, eyes shining with admiration and love for you. "Bye everybody."
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Comments:
charleslover: OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IT KILLS ME
ynandcharles: their facial expressions always kill me
username89: where do i get a charles leclerc bcs i will willingly offer all the money i have
doratheexplorer16: their love for each other hurts
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hoshinasblade · 5 months ago
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second best |3| hoshina soshiro
PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART 3
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 2k trigger warnings: a bit suggestive at the end author's note: i promised a part three so here it is, hope you guys like it! likes, replies, and reblogs are welcome but im begging you not to copy or steal my works. feel free to sign up for my taglist (which i swear im gonna use on the next fic lol), and i appreciate when people send me asks so let me know your thoughts (or send me hoshina pics, that'd be great too). my masterlist is here! also i gotta let you know that i might put the next fic on hold because i am so tempted to start a short nsfw collection instead - just one-shots so it won't be a lot of commitments. who knows cause i might write angst and nsfw at the same time 😉
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soshiro's hands were trembling. you noticed because it has not happened in a while - you cannot even recall the last time you've seen the man nervous, much less shaking. you were going to himeji that morning; hoshina had snatched your backpack from you - "when i said i would make it up to ya, i mean in every way i can," he said, sounding gentle and sincere that your only choice was to let him carry your belongings and blush as he also intertwined his fingers with yours while walking.
there is this story you have been hearing for a while - the red string theory, it is called. according to it, people who are destined to be together will always find each other despite everything and anything. when you were a kid, instead of thinking it romantic, you rather thought it is frightening - fate is a difficult enemy to go against: if it is meant to be, then it will be eventually. when you grew up, you held that belief as a prayer - it means that whoever is the one chosen for you may get lost on their way to you, but they will always - always - arrive.
you glanced at hoshina soshiro and you knew you were right to believe.
it was roughly a four-hour journey from tachikawa to himeji by train, and during the entire ride, even when he fell asleep for a short while, your boyfriend did not let go of your hand. you complained about your palms being sweaty as a joke, and he only loosened his hold. you understood - he is making it up to you, but he is also making up for all the wasted time.  
"we're almost there," you told him when he startled from his nap. his bangs were slightly messy, and he bumped his head to your shoulders. "comfy," he hummed. you giggled.
you are still trying to navigate through dating a high-ranking officer of an anti-kaiju defense force unit. relationships aren't strictly forbidden but still frowned upon, which was a little bit of an issue between you and soshiro when you had a proper and long-overdue conversation about what you guys were. confessing is one thing, but when being friends is all you've known your whole life, you know adjustments are supposed to be made here and there.
 which brings you and him back to your hometown.
he didn't exactly disagree with you, but you are aware he had his reservations about the idea of visiting himeji. "oh i'm pretty sure soichiro-kun would be surprised," you said when you were still planning the trip. "yes, we should kiss in front of him and give him a heart attack," soshiro suggested, and you weren't hundred-percent sure he was just joking. maybe you didn't want him to be.
when the streets started to look familiar, soshiro noted the sudden bounce in your pace. you and he have walked in the same alley years ago - he would wait for you after class and would even make up some ridiculous excuse so you could go home together. "i used to pretend to be tired way back just so i could convince you to slow down. i wanted to spend so much time with you," you reminisced.
"i should have known ya were head-over-heels for me," he teased.
"they miss ya, soshiro-kun. ya don't have anything to worry about." the change in topic wiped the smirk off his face. he was suddenly serious, sad even. there was a part of you that regretted saying the words, but he had to hear it - you only wanted to reassure him after all.
"just that i haven't been here for a long while", he said, squeezing your hand. "i don't know if they think this place is still my home."
"ya need to have faith in the people you care about, soshiro-kun. ya need to trust that they care about ya too," you solemnly advised. "i know that doesn't make any sense sometimes, but that's how i do it."
"have i told ya i love you so much?" he responded, to which you smiled.
"only a thousand times," you joked once more.
the hoshina estate is a spacious one - you have to pass through an automated black gate that directs you to the main house, the cobblestone path lined with cherry blossom trees, their delicate petals swirling when the wind blows gently; the grandeur of the home soshiro grew up in is undeniable with its traditional japanese architecture. a man with striking features and an aura of authority was waiting at the entrance, waiting for his son.
“father,” soshiro greeted the man, bowing deeply.
“an embarrassment that your friend will be the one to bring you home when you could have done it a long time ago,” soshiro’s father scolded him. his stare at soshiro was that of disappointment, which quickly disappeared when he looked at you. “ah, my dear, come on in, hurry, come on in,” he turned and said to you, inviting you in. the hoshina patriarch had always been fond of you - soshiro’s parents had wanted a daughter and they found one in you.
soshiro rolled his eyes. “my father’s favorite child is my girlfriend, great,” he muttered.
the maids made you a great dinner, cooking soshiro’s favorite food per his father’s request. conversation was light, and it was apparent that the old hoshina wanted to catch up so badly on how his son was doing, inquiring in consecutive questions about soshiro’s rank in the unit, his experiences so far, and his long-term plans in staying with the force. soshiro’s replies are detailed, but you know he intentionally did not mention all the instances where he almost died fighting.
soshiro’s father regaled you both with stories of soshiro’s childhood antics - “do ya remember, my dear, when soshiro tripped and fell on his face after training with soichiro? we were so worried, but he only fell asleep,” he recited the memory as if it was just yesterday., his kansai accent thick on his words. the tension that had lingered in the air had dissipated as you finished your meal.
“i had the guest room prepared for ya so ya can rest for tonight,” soshiro’s father had said when his son cut him off.
“no, we can sleep together,” soshiro declared, and thinking it might have sounded improper, he spoke again. “beside each other, i mean. in my room. because we’re tired. from travelling all day," he attempted to clarify but failed.
“ah, may i look forward to a grandchild soon from ya two?” color drained from your face as you slowly closed your eyes. you fought off a laugh but failed.
“ya may, but we aren’t doing that here of all places,” soshiro argued just as his father had turned his back on the both of you, amused with himself. at least now you know where soshiro got his sense of humor.
the hot shower felt great against your tensed muscles, and if you weren’t that exhausted, you would have opted for a bath instead. soshiro wanted to speak to his father alone, so when he ushered you inside his childhood bedroom, he’d let you know that he would be gone while you were cleaning yourself up. you were relieved; you haven’t seen your own father since you were a teenager, and it would be a shame to see it happening to the person you care about the most, not if you can do something about it. and this is not to say that you wanted to fix soshiro’s life - you pointed this out to him once - but he’s had a terrible habit of holding back and assuming the worst, so you had decided that if you could help him out, you would push him to the right direction.
“didn’t ya pack clothes?” his eyes were on you immediately after he came in, finding you on the bed with your phone, wearing his shirt.
“i did, but yours look better,” you replied, holding your arms out and showing him how oversized it is on you - the sleeves are passed your elbows, the hem reaching the middle of your thighs.
“they look better on ya, i agree.” he sat on the mattress for a few moments before lying down, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. “ya all good?”
“i am,” you said to him. “especially because i scanned yer photos when ye're still little while ya were gone,” you informed him then showing him a folder you created in your device - baby hoshina soshiro folder, you named it - full of duplicates you made of the framed pictures of your boyfriend all over the house. there’s one where he didn’t have any hair at all; there’s one where he was close to crying but appeared to be keeping the tears in; there’s one where he was missing a tooth but smiling like there’s no tomorrow. soshiro moved to take your phone away, but you were quicker than him.
“this is payback, for all the times ya weren’t talking to me.” you were alluding to the three long months when you were still an applicant to the defense force and soshiro acted like you were a stranger. he had apologized for it already, but it is nice to make fun of him sometimes so you brought it up. “that hurt my feelings, ya know.” you laid down beside him, invading his personal space, your shoulders touching his.
“i was stupid”, he said. “and it’s not like i could have come up to ya and said, hey i’m sorry for leaving ya in himeji, by the way i’m crazy for ya.”
“and all those times i thought ya had something with commander ashiro, oh god!” you exclaimed for effect. “by the way, the other recruits thought the same.”
“it’s not like that between her and me.” his gaze on you was brief. “it’s not like that with anyone else.”
“it better not be, because i’m leaking all yer baby photos to the first division if ya mess up,” you threatened him despite not needing to.
“i promise, i won’t.” he grabbed your hand from your side and linked it with his, cradling it to his chest before bringing it to his lips. “i’m not that stupid.”
soshiro’s childhood room was what you would expect from a teenage boy: a king-sized bed, a bookshelf of manga, a cabinet showcasing knives and blades. you never had the opportunity to enter his room even when you were kids, you realized. you looked up to the ceiling and you saw green dots that formed shapes - makeshift constellations, you recognized the patterns - little plastic stickers that you glue to surfaces. “are those supposed to be stars?”
soshiro sighed, his arm on top of his face. “yeah, uh - remember when uh - i think that was in junior high, and ye're so into astronomy? i thought it’d be a good idea to know the names of the stars to impress ya, so i started trying to memorize them.”
you shifted to face him, speechless. maybe if you had known this, if you had known the other things you are certain now that soshiro had done and was willing to do for you, you wouldn’t have wasted years questioning your place in his life and deciphering his feelings. a wave of warmth washed over you as you reached out and lifted his arm off his face, meeting his eyes.
soshiro’s lips felt as soft as it looks like, you thought as you kissed him. you pushed yourself into him, and he pulled you tighter until it seemed there was not enough air for you to breathe - until your chests were pressed together it was as if your hearts were beating as one. something sparked inside you; the sensation of being so close to soshiro about to consume you from within. his hand crawled to your hips and remained there. you drew back a bit after that, and when you saw the panicked look on his face, you kissed him again.
“i love you,” you told him in between pants.
the night went on, and by the end of it, hoshina soshiro discovered that his favorite sound is you moaning his name.
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cuntdevil · 27 days ago
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★ VISCERAL CHOKEHOLD.
no one ever thought you would make it this far, and maybe you wouldn't have without higuruma's help.
( fic demographics. ) jujutsu kaisen, higuruma hiromi, dark content & sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact & 16,232 words !
╰┈➤ law professor!higuruma hiromi & law student!reader (she/her), professor x student relationship, insecure!reader, power imbalance, large age gap, toxic & verbally abusive relationship, smut: dubcon (manipulation), dacryphilia, blowjob, minor finger sucking, hardcore degredation, face slapping, rough sex, choking, unprotected sex, featuring hitmam!fushiguro toji, private investigator!nanami, and lawyer!shiu kong as your father, alluded character death, etc.
( @murderofravens said . . . ) hello lovely!! . . . since you're taking requests i was wondering if i could please have a hiromi higuruma piece? perhaps something along the lines of him being reader's law professor? with power dynamics, lots of tension and maybe some angst, and smut if you don't mind? you could make it toxic as well . . . no pressure, of course, thank you so much and hope ur doing okay! <3
╰┈➤ author's response: this is the shit im talking about !! babes, you got my mind enlargening because this was such a good request that the plot jumped right onto the screen for me. mwah !! i hope this satisfies you !!
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When people talk about your father, they speak nothing but praises, saying how he’s such a beast in court. They glorify his name and how he's gotten the innocent to roam freely on the streets again. They praise him on his judgment, bringing justice to the right people and condemning the guilty in the process. His voice would boom in court as he swayed the jury’s mind, his deep and commanding tone something that had people right under his thumb. He had great relationships with the judges and made plenty of enemies with lawyers who secretly sought to be like him. When women heard his name, they were scampering in hopes to get a moment alone with him.
He often found himself perched at the bar, sitting on a stool as he leaned against the counter where the bartender would pass him a glass of sake. It was a little celebration ritual that he had whenever he won a case, which was quite often. He grabs his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his brown suit jacket, lighting one up as the butt of it would sizzle and red sparks would light up ablaze. He’d buy a drink for himself and the man he just set free, this one being Toji Fushiguro.
“I don’t think I could thank you enough,” the man with a scarred lip smiles, taking the glass of bourbon and barely putting it to his lips. He appreciated the courtesy, but he didn’t really enjoy drinking. Didn’t find pleasure in it. Shiu could see that, noticing how the glass always rested in his hands and when he did bring it to his lips, it stayed at the same level.
“Then don’t,” he chuckled, downing his glass in one go. “Bourbon not your cup of tea? You ordered it.”
“Yeah, I did,” Toji shrugged. “Didn’t want to make you feel bad to be the only one drinking.”
“Well, I still am,” Shiu chuckles. The rest of the night goes without much conversation. Shiu drowns out the stress of today’s case, letting it dissipate with shots of whatever liqueur he was craving next and the buzz of nicotine blackening his lungs. He loved the scene a bar could give him, a chance to people-watch strangers and get their life story just from how they spend their time. His favorite person to watch was a woman around his age, always here around the same time he was, just like clockwork.
At first, he thought she was one of those women that liked to flock around him after learning that he was a well-established lawyer. However, he doesn’t quite think so. Her eyes would flicker to him every so often and they always seemed shy— not the one anyone would try to feign. She’d grow easily flustered, but never unmoving. Neither of them had taken the first step at approaching each other, only enjoying the lingering gaze when the other thought they weren’t looking. 
“For some hot shot in the courtroom, you seem pretty pathetic right now,” Toji chuckles, finally taking a swig of the bourbon in his hand. He found the scene grotesque, watching his lawyer that was so domineering in the courtroom get all shy for a woman. Watching the both of them eye-fuck each other made him nauseaus. “Just go up to her.”
“Mmm,” Shiu shuffles on the stool, eyes trailing back to the stunning woman. He’s always talked himself out of it, even now. “It doesn’t seem like the right moment.”
Toji can’t help but chuckle at that, eyes flickering from Shiu to the woman. “Right now seems like the perfect moment actually.”
However, Shiu remains still, belligerent on his choices. Considering the lengths that Shiu went to ensure that Toji didn’t land himself in jail, it seemed fair that the lad try to do him a favor in helping his lawyer land the woman of his dreams, even if it’ll only be for the night. The grazing of the chair legs against the wooden floor calls for Shiu’s attention as Toji stands up. “If you don’t, then I will. She seems to be my type as well.”
“What?” Shiu’s quick to his feet, watching how Toji sauntered over to the beauty herself. There’s no stopping the taller man, seeing how he approaches her and is quick to strike up conversation. Her eyes light up talking to Toji, and Shiu’s about to lose hope believing that the man had swept the woman off of her feet. He takes his seat back at the stool, back facing the two of them when he hears feet approaching him. He feels like he’s back in his teens again, shying away from what he wants. 
“Did you come back to gloat?” he asks, beckoning the bartender over for another glass. A soft and feminine chuckle calls for his attention, that glum feeling quickly reverting to disbelief. The fine dime herself standing right before him as she’s fidgeting with the bangles around her wrist. She’s prettier up close, her curly hair out and sporting an afro as it rises in volume. Beautiful skin that the blue lights don't do justice to her skin tone. Her lips shine under the light when she smiles, lined in a shade or two darker than her complexion underneath the gloss. 
She’s nervous, he can tell, but she bats her eyelashes cutely as she tilts her head to the side. “No, actually I came to see if you’d like to have a drink with me.” 
Shiu has come to learn that her name’s (Y/M), a foreigner from America visiting Japan for vacation, but considering moving here permanently, trying to see if she could possibly qualify to teach English. (Y/M) learns that Shiu is a lawyer who’s contemplating on opening up his own law firm at some point, and that she’s managed to captivate the eyes of someone who could potentially financially secure her for the rest of her life if she’s willing to go on a couple of dates with him to see where this will lead. Toji’s long forgotten by now, but Shiu makes a mental note to thank the bastard when he gets the chance. Toji has found his way out the door shortly after his exchange with the woman, sure that Shiu’s got the bill covered. 
Shiu brings (Y/M) to his house not too long after. Hands roaming her body as her moans make his body melt into hers. It was an unforgettable night and it created a lasting future, where Shiu never planned to start his legacy so soon. However, with (Y/M)’s announcement that she’s pregnant brings him nothing but joy the moment it falls from her beautiful lips. He reassures her that she’ll never have to worry about a thing. And he’s made sure to keep his promise for the most part, rarely being her source of stress despite the amount of disagreements they’ve had. He is always trying to appease her in every way possible. It seems like the uncontrollable slowing the both of them down, one of them being you. 
Shiu always wanted children, a legacy to carry out his name with someone he loves. While he never anticipated having a child so soon within the relationship that’s barely started, he was more than ecstatic to have you, much to (Y/M)’s surprise. Shiu had ensured that her stay in Japan became permanent, buying a ring to decorate her left ring finger and marrying (Y/M) as soon as possible. He made her pregnancy a breeze, hiring a helper inside his home to aid with the household duties. When (Y/M) finally went into labor, Shiu made sure that she had time for herself during postpartum, not enjoying how she’d curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out in his chest, believing that she’d be a horrible parent. 
The issue wasn’t that you were a difficult child to take care of. No, you were easy, and maybe that was the issue itself. You were too easy. A saint and the apple of both of your parents’ eyes. The problem came when you were older and there wasn’t anything particularly… extraordinary about you. You didn’t have anything that really captivated anyone’s eye— no talent, no hobby that you found yourself hyper fixated in, nothing that called a spark within you. You were average in your studies to say the least. Shiu made sure to hire tutors whenever you were struggling with a certain subject. You didn’t really care for afterschool clubs or anything involving sports— you didn’t like to sweat, yuck. No, you just enjoyed mundane and locking yourself inside of your room despite both of your parents’ persistence in spending time with you. 
When people spoke about Shiu Kong, it was all praise and glory. However, when they spoke about his daughter, his only child, they hesitated to come up with the right words to say. One finger on their lips as they pondered how to sound polite. You were just average. There was nothing special about you and because of that, no one saw the potential that you could possibly have. 
Unfortunately, they never took the time to realize how their constant scrutinizing would impact you. How when they whispered about you, you would take notice of their quick glances immediately. How their smiles never met their eyes when they spoke to you and their compliments were fake, their pitch a bit too high to sound authentic when you showed them something you were doing. You hated it and wished that one day, someone would tell you what they thought right in front of your face with confidence. But, that day has yet to come. 
It brings you to shame that your parents can’t even be truthful to you. How they spoke to you so lovingly for years about how you had such a bright future ahead of you, but behind closed doors, they sounded concerned for your future. 
When Shiu and your mother believed that you were sound asleep, having tucked you in and told you goodnight already, they were downstairs doing their habitual night time ritual. Sitting at the dining table, they’re next to each other with a glass of red wine in front of them. Shiu swirls it as he looks inside the bulbous glass, watching it swivel around at his motions. His wife was sitting next to him as she had yet to touch her glass. Something was plaguing her mind and he knew that he had to pry it out of her with a simple question. “What’s on your mind, honey?”
Finally does she let out the heavy sigh that’s been residing heavily on her chest, forcing her down into a slump. Her posture straightens from what you can see, peeking from just around the corner. You’ve gotten better at this, seeing how they’ve yet to catch you in a heartbeat. “I’m worried about her, Shiu.”
“About what exactly?” He knows exactly what, but he always found it better when (Y/M) spoke out her thoughts, said everything from the depths of her soul. When she couldn’t find the right words, he’d help her scour for them.
“About her future,” (Y/M) sighs, afraid to admit this. “She’s not a very bright child.”
At that, your eyes widen as you let out a gasp. You had to cover your mouth in fear that they heard you, but they’re so immersed with each other, it leaves you in the clear. Your heart starts racing as your feet move involuntarily. Your steps manage to remain gentle as you climb them back and head back to your room. Unbeknownst to them that their daughter had overheard their conversation, Shiu and (Y/M) keep talking. Shiu’s head tilting in concern at the confession as he frowns. “What do you mean by that? (Y/N)’s a very…”
(Y/M) gives Shiu a knowing look, proving her point. “See? You can’t even finish your sentence.”
“Yes, but our child isn’t a dunce,” Shiu scolds. “Sure, her reports don’t reflect positive grades from time to time, but she gets the help she needs.”
“And what happens when she can’t get that assistance, hm?” (Y/M) retorts. “What happens when she takes her exams and they don’t positively reflect on her homework scores and project reports, then what?”
“You’re being ridiculous, (Y/M),” Shiu raises his voice, setting the wine glass down at his wife’s ridiculing of their daughter. “She’s only eight years old, and she’s not dumb. She just has a hard time grasping certain concepts. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“Yes, but what about everything else?” (Y/M) rebuttals. “She doesn’t partake in the activities and events other kids want to participate in. She doesn’t show interest in any clubs or sports. All she does is lock herself up in the room all day when she gets the chance! She doesn’t even want to eat dinner with us!”
“Yes because her mother is calling her dumb behind her back!”
You’ve never witnessed or heard your parents argue, even on that same night. You immediately shut the doors and climbed back underneath the covers when you were back in your bedroom, the pillows clogging your ears and silencing everything as you sobbed yourself to sleep. The next morning your dad was nowhere to be seen, having left for work early because he couldn’t stand to be in the same vicinity as his wife. 
(Y/M) felt worse as the day went by. Shiu always made sure that the weekends were reserved for family time and for him to willingly head to work, she knew she was in the wrong. Looking over at you, it didn’t make it any better. Especially when your fork clinked against the plate as you finished your food, carrying the empty dish to the sink as the silence of both you and your mother ate at you. “Where’s daddy?”
She took your plate, turning on the water to rinse it off. “At work.”
“He’s never at work on the weekends,” you note, stating the obvious. Your mother could only sighed, “There’s a first to everything, my dear.”
From that point forward, you always tried to put in a little more effort. You took up clubs and activities that you found interesting, committing to them for the entirety of your childhood all the way to graduating high school. Though, nothing really changed as you never found anything that sparked joy within you. 
You’ve found that out of your two parents, you found yourself a true daddy’s girl, enjoying his company the most. Even if the two of you would just watch crappy television shows in silence. It brought you comfort. So, when it was time for you to choose what you wanted to major in, you had finally decided on something— that you’d follow in your father’s footsteps. 
The topic of college became more frequent once you hit high school. (Y/M) and Shiu would always ask you what you wanted to do, or what you were thinking about doing, but you always shrugged and said that you were undecided. Your father always kept such a nonchalant gaze before looking back at his phone, but you’d always see that annoying glint in your mother’s eyes. (Un)fortunately for her, in junior year, you finally made a choice. 
“I think I’m interested in pursuing law.” You said it so nonchalantly that it caught both of your parents off guard, having them stop in their tracks. You— you want to pursue law?
When Shiu said he wanted a child to carry out his legacy, he didn’t specifically mean that they had to follow in his exact footsteps. He meant he wanted a legacy where those who descend after him all end up in a decent position. Frankly, he didn’t think you were cut out for law. You didn’t have the personality for it. You weren’t timid, but you were quiet and you never really raised your voice for anything. You had to be someone domineering in the courtroom and he didn’t see you as one. However, that didn’t mean it was too late for you. 
(Y/M) didn’t see your potential. She had made that very clear all those years ago, and people always feigned brightness when it came to you. However, if you were serious about this, he’d help you every step of the way and help you where you needed to go. (Y/M) wore an incredulous look all over her face, standing in disbelief as she choked on her words, wanting to talk you out of it. However, Shiu beat her to it.
“Okay,” he spoke, reciprocating the same nonchalance you sported. “Do you have any idea which university you want to attend?”
With your father’s eyes on you now, granting you the attention you never thought you’d get, you grow shy as you squirm in place. “I was thinking about Kyoto University.”
“Ah, you wanna follow in your old man’s footsteps, I see,” he winks at you, chuckling as he straightens his posture. “Well, you work on what you need to do to apply, I’ll sort out everything else.”
“Mhm,” you hum before trotting back up the stairs. When you’re finally gone, (Y/M) finally breaks the silence. 
“Shiu, you can’t be serious,” she chastises her husband for entertaining you. (Y/M) had come to accept who you are, that you’re just an average girl and that perhaps you didn’t need to make it as big as her husband is. However, for you to pursue law? It sounded ridiculous. There was no way you’d be able to survive such strenuous studies, especially in one of the top schools for law. They had a rigorous law program.
“Oh, I am,” Shiu sits up. “If she says she wants to pursue law, then let her.”
“Aren’t you afraid that she’ll crash and burn?” (Y/M) hates how he’s been so monotone about everything. How he doesn’t even seem to be concerned for your well being. How is he so willing for you to just make a decision that seems so abrupt? Just a couple of weeks ago, you were still indecisive and today you just got up and decided that you want to become a lawyer? (Y/M) shakes her head, dropping what she’s doing as she rests her elbows down on the kitchen counter, shutting her eyes. “I can’t believe you're entertaining this.”
“You can’t believe I’m entertaining what?” Shiu cocks up an eyebrow. “You can’t believe I’m supporting our child’s endeavors? Weren’t you the one worried for her future?”
“You’re not even listening to me!” (Y/M) groans. “I’m glad that she’s made up her mind, but law? Shiu, don’t be ridiculous, you know she wouldn’t last over a month in those classes.”
“I bet she’ll last the entire year,” Shiu challenges. “And even if she doesn’t, we’ll support whatever she does next.”
“Yeah, until your bank account is drained, then what will we do?” She mutters, scoffing.
Shiu’s fist bangs against the table, frightening (Y/M) and making her jump. He points at her, a harsh glare in his eyes as his dark pupils stare back at hers. “Y’know, I love you, (Y/M). I do, really and truly. But I don’t like the person you’ve become. Fix it before we’re no more.”
Shiu would go through the greatest depths of hell for you. He’s come to learn this the moment he finds himself on the phone, contacting the board of admissions in regards to you. And people would question his faith for you, ask him if he really thinks you wouldn't be able to get in on your own, but he only wants to secure a spot for you. You said you wanted to go to Kyoto University, so he’ll make sure you get into it. It’s not that hard when you're an alumni who still makes monetary contributions.
It takes nothing, but a few phone calls to have everything settled. Yet, you still work on your college essays, having your father read them over for you before getting the okay. Considering the growth you’ve had over the years, Shiu can’t say he’s too concerned about you. It’s not like you never tried, using the resources he’s given you each time you needed assistance with your work. Despite your aloof attitude, you have drive. And it makes him feel ashamed that your mother can’t see that within you. 
When you get the letter from Kyoto University, you’re running to your dad first. Meeting him at his law firm and asking him. Never have you voluntarily come to the firm, but when his secretary is telling him that his daughter is waiting for him outside of his office, there’s a spark of joy ignited in him. Within your eyes, there’s glee and excitement as you jump into his arms, telling him that you got accepted. His arms wrapped around you as you jumped into his arms, letting him spin you around in this moment of celebration. A genuine smile on your face as you come to terms with your decision, ready to put in the work in getting what you want. 
That summer when you graduate, you put away your plans of leisure to spend most of your days in the office. You had packed breakfast, lunch and dinner, your dad taking extraneous hours at work. You also have your laptop and a notebook with you, wanting to gather as much information from your father as well as having to complete summer assignments for your upcoming courses. He’s proud of you, seeing you go the extra mile and taking it seriously. 
Your mother’s also seeing how you’re taking this seriously, finally convinced of your choices. She starts waking up with the both of you, preparing your meals and sneaking in extra snacks inside your lunch. Your relationship with your mother has always been something rocky, where the two of you could never truly see each other eye-to-eye. You never felt like her daughter, only someone she scrutinized under a spectacle as she tried creating you in her own image. And you never made her feel like a mother, not accepting her affection and never seeking out her comfort. 
(Y/M) remembers how when you first started your period, you’d rather talk to your father about it. You cried in his lap about the boy who told everyone in the class that you were bleeding out of your vagina. Shiu tried pushing you to confide in your mother, but you refused and forced him to go shopping for menstrual products. (Y/M) had to write down a list of specific products for Shiu to pick up while going to the store with you. Your mother never had thought about the way she treated you until seeing you going to work with your father. She never truly considered how you felt, and though she felt like it was too late, she was trying to put in more effort in showing you that she truly did love you. 
When the summer was over and it was move-in day, (Y/M) and Shiu both took time off to send you off, helping you bring in your belongings and sort everything out just how you wanted. And when it came time for them to leave, Shiu held onto you, afraid to let go. You chuckled, trying to pry your father off of you. “You’re acting like you’ll never see me again.”
“We might not,” Shiu sniffled, hiding his face in your shirt in an attempt to wipe away his tears. You squirmed in his hold until he finally let go of you, seeing how red his eyes were. It wasn’t like you weren’t going to miss your parents, you would. However, it just hasn’t settled in yet.
(Y/M) stood behind you both awkwardly as your father gave you words of encouragement, having you promise him that if you needed any help, you’d contact him — even if it’s to get away with murder. She finally intervenes when she sees that her husband won’t pry away from you anytime soon. “(Y/N), can I talk to you for a second— privately?”
“Yeah, okay.” With a cock of your eyebrow, you nod hesitantly as you step away from your father and head out of the room. She’s fidgeting with her hands, eyes failing to meet yours. She takes a deep breath, sucking in her tears. 
“I want to—” Your mother chokes up, voice trailing off before she’s clearing her voice. “Y’know what, nevermind. Just know that I’m going to make it up to you. I love you, baby, and I’m very proud of you.”
You don’t know what she means with ‘I’m going to make it up to you,’ but you accept her hug. You accept the tight grip she wraps around your body, finally finding comfort in her touch. Even if it’s just for the moment.
College is freeing to a certain extent. No longer under the scrutiny and judgment of family and around strangers, you feel like you’re open to do whatever you want. Legally an adult, where you no longer need the consent of your parents to partake in things that they’d show their concerns over. You can make the wrong choices and come to regret it later without any berating, and you can make a schedule that best works for you. 
You made the right decision on selecting your classes early, having an ideal schedule— Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. With Mondays and Fridays off, it gave you time to study and catch up on things that you might’ve fallen behind on. Four classes within the semester, one of them being a fast-paced class that only lasted eight weeks. Two classes on Tuesday, one on Wednesday and Thursday. It seemed like something you’d be able to manage.
However, some people didn’t share your same ideologies, not planning ahead as you sit in front of those people right now— and it was more so a person. You were sitting with three other incoming freshmen, Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara, and Fushiguro Megumi. Of the three, Nobara was the only one in the law program with you. Yuuji was undecided and Megumi was majoring in Biochemistry. The boy with the puppy dog eyes and salmon-toned hair seemed like an angel from the time you’ve spoken to them since they’ve decided to adopt you in their little crew, but not very wise when it came to decision making. Now, you’re watching him struggle to find good classes to take as all the professors left seem to have low ratings. Megumi has his face down in his phone, ignoring Nobara’s snickers at Yuuji’s stupidity, well accustomed to their banters. 
“We told you to sign up for classes early,” Nobara points out. “Hell, we even set up a date where we could do it together, so we’d have days that we can spend together.”
“Yeah, but you know I couldn’t make that day,” Yuuji pouts.
“But when we tried rescheduling, you were hellbent on us not waiting up for you.” Yuuji sighs, knowing that Nobara’s right. Groaning, he can only accept defeat as he scrolls and tries to make a schedule for himself that’s someone appeasing. “Just tell me what days you guys will be free.”
It gives you some solace that you won’t be completely alone, having Nobara in some of your classes providing you a sense of relief as you can both study alongside each other when the time comes. None of your high school friends had applied to Kyoto and some of the students from your old school who were attending weren’t people in your major or you weren’t too fond of. It makes that first day of classes more bearable the moment you step foot in it, finding a seat not too far from the front but not immediately in the back. You set your bag on the seat to the right of you, saving it for your newfound friend when she finally makes it in. 
Higuruma Hiromi— you vaguely remember the name as you could swear that he was a colleague of your father. When you had chosen him as a professor, the thought never crossed your mind until now that you’re sitting inside the lecture room and waiting for his arrival. You’re amongst five other students who’ve arrived early as they’re putting out their laptops, textbooks and a manila folder. What’s the manila folder for— Shit! You immediately slump back in your chair, eyes shutting as you hold your breath. You had completely forgotten to print out the summer assignment as it was instructed for you to do. You had it saved on a USB drive, but you don’t know if this one little slip up will be easily dismissed. So much for starting off your classes strong.
Just in that moment does Nobara walk in, spotting you in a flash and climbing up the steps to greet you. You lift up your bag, not before dropping it in front of you and wailing at your stupid mistake. Taking a seat as she unpacks her stuff, Nobara knits her eyebrows together, something evidently wrong with you. “What’s wrong?”
“I forgot to print out the summer assignment,” you groan, simultaneously as you hear a bunch of keys jingling and a set of heavy shoes clunking on the marble tiles. Lifting your head up, you can vividly remember him now. Short and dark brown hair that always looks stringy. He always looked tired or bored whenever you saw him in your youth, his small brown pupils that never gave you a look of emotion whenever you were around. He’d always give you a weak ‘hello’ out of politeness before his attention was fixated back on your father, talking about God knows what. 
Now you’re taking closer notice of him. Average height and a slender build as he walks towards his desk, letting out a heavy sigh that has all the students silent. It’s still not time for classes to start, plenty of students starting to trickle in from behind. You always thought he was paler, but there’s a tint in his skin. He dresses professionally, wearing a typical black suit and tie with a sunflower pin on his left shoulder to signify his previous status as an attorney. 
From what you can remember about Higuruma, he was a fierce attorney just like your father and he only fought for those who were wrongfully accused. Him and your father sat along the same boat of men that were greatly admired in the courtroom. You don’t remember hearing that he retired from being a lawyer and your father never mentioned him working here. You wondered if the two had some sort of falling out. You thought the two were close friends. 
“Don’t worry,” Nobara tries assuring you. “I’m pretty sure he’ll understand. You did do it.”
When class is ready to start, the room is packed with over one hundred students. People are still shuffling to take their belongings out of their bags as Higuruma is getting the projector up and running, giving the students just a little bit more time before lecture begins. You have your laptop open with your textbook set to the side as well as a spiral notebook and a pencil pouch. While Nobara’s words had given you some sort of comfort, sure that he would be understanding, it still didn’t take away that nagging sensation in your chest.
He cleared his throat, finally taking a stand and adjusting his suit jacket. His voice remained calm, yet it boomed and called the attention of everyone from the mic pinned to the jacket. “Good morning, everyone! And welcome to JGVT1101, the History of the Japanese Government.
“My name is Professor Higuruma and please address me as such,” he continues. “This will be one of your first classes with me, but surely not your last as you will be stuck with me throughout your years enrolled within the law program. I will not dive deep about my personal life, just know that I used to be a lawyer and attended this very same university when I was around your age. 
“I will not lie to you and say that each and every one of you will make it to be a lawyer, but I will say that in order to pass my class it is vital that you do everything I say and complete assignments how I expect them to. Starting with the summer assignment, everyone passes them up.”
You feel uneasy as everyone else seems to have their assignments printed out, even Nobara as she hands it to the person on her left as they all pile up into one stack at the front. You’re fidgeting with the bracelets on your hand, pulling at the elastic as you try to bring yourself to focus on anything else but it. 
“I will have the class syllabus going around,” he further announced. “Please make sure to take one and keep it somewhere safe. It has all the assignments listed down and when they’re expected to be turned in.”
The class goes by smoothly until it’s close to the end, where Higuruma sets you guys up with a partner and assigns you to discuss one of the questions viewed on the screen. Perched at his desk, he’s checking off those who have turned in their assignment, seeing that only a few students haven’t had their names marked off. He looks through the list, noticing your name— your last name specifically. Kong. He hasn’t seen that name in a while.
“Kong (Y/N),” he calls your name, pulling the mic hooked to his jacket closer. It makes your head pop in his direction, looking him clearly in his eyes. You’ve grown a lot since the last time he’s seen you. When was that? When you were a little over twelve? He can’t quite remember, but you’ve surely grown. Features more womanly and grown in. At one point you favored your mother, then Shiu the next. Now, you’re a fine mixture of the two— though whenever he did look at you, your eyes vividly came from your father. “Can you explain to me why your paper hasn’t been submitted?”
“Oh, um…” You can feel your heart stuck inside your throat, eyes deviating away from his as you're not sure what to say. You know what to say, but did he really have to call you out in front of the entire class? “I forgot to print it out, but—”
He comes to stand, the swivel chair sliding backwards as he does, cutting your excuse short. “And this class is an example of what I don’t want. How can you expect to get anywhere in life if you show up the first day unprepared?”
“Is that really necessary?” Nobara leans into you with the scrunch of her eyebrows. “He didn’t have to call you out in front of the classroom. I’m pretty sure there’s at least one student who didn’t even complete it at all.”
“Miss Kong, if this is going to be typical behavior from you, I suggest you drop out of my class immediately.”
People around you start to chatter, some siding with the professor and some ridiculing him for calling you out like that. Nonetheless, you grow flustered as you feel all eyes on you. He’s right. If you had just remembered to print out the assignment beforehand, you wouldn’t be in this damn predicament, getting condemned before everyone. You’re only grateful that he doesn’t call your name out for the rest of the class. Only until he’s finally dismissing you all, the name he’s already set for you ringing through the air once more. “Miss Kong, please stay behind. I’d like to have a word with you.”
You can only respond with a meek ‘okay’ as everyone’s trailing outside the door. Nobara hesitates to leave you alone, but you dismiss her and assure her that you’ll be fine. You don’t know what he could possibly want from you. He’s already said what he needed during class. However, you’ll take this opportunity in hopes to plead a little bit of extra time. You just needed to print it out.
Everyone trickles out quickly, leaving the enormous room just for the two of you as you shuffle in his direction, stopping not too short of his desk. He doesn’t say anything for a second, stacking the manila folders into a neat pile and setting them inside of a cart. He clears his throat, eyes flickering to yours before they go back on the task at hand. “Do you think that a judge would accept an unprepared lawyer?”
“No,” you immediately answer, your voice low and dry. 
“Then why do you think that I should accept your late paper, hm?” He pauses, expecting a response.
“Um…”
“A lawyer must always be prepared with a rebuttal,” Higuruma holds his head high. “No stuttering, um’s and uh’s in the courtroom. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Hig— Yes, Professor.”
At your slip up, Higuruma pauses. Glancing up at you with a raised eyebrow as he lets out an exasperated sigh. “How’s your father been? It’s been a while since I’ve last spoken to him.”
“He’s fine,” you shrug. “For the most part. He’s—”
“He won’t be fine if his daughter ends up a failure,” he remarks, setting the last of his stuff inside the cart, pulling up the handle as he throws you a stern look. His eyes squinting low as if daring you to challenge him. However, your mouth’s gone dry as you’re speechless. 
“I— I can have it for you in the next hour.”
“Try thirty minutes,” he rebuttals. “Anything later won’t be accepted. You’re dismissed.”
You don’t hesitate to spin on your heel, hurrying out of the class. You’re practically running out, throwing the door and letting it slam shut on the way out. Higuruma chuckles, watching you rush out of the lecture hall as he finally pulls out the cart along with him. He’ll give you the courtesy of adding ten extra minutes, but seeing the determination written all over your face the moment he gave you extra time, he’s ready to bed that the thirty will be enough. 
Unlike you, Higuruma remembered you clearly as the day when he saw your name on his roster. He didn’t believe it at first, wondering if your name was a common one. Surely, Shiu would’ve called him and informed him that his daughter had decided to pursue law at the same college both of them attended in their younger years. However, since Higuruma had called it quits, he hadn’t heard from Shiu since. 
He never planned on retiring from being a lawyer so soon. No, there was still so much fire in him that yearned to be back on the playing field, but after his last case. He thought it was best to call it quits, the scar residing on his chest being enough motivation to do so. Days that he spent in the hospital recovering as his mother cried over his wounded body. She had warned him about his strong pursuit for justice, to be careful of what he was doing or he’d anger the wrong set of people. He knew that was the case, that being a lawyer wasn’t always the safest career. However, he was passionate about it and couldn’t let it up because the unjust wanted to live freely. Shiu could let them run around freely, but not him. 
Maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted him after all these years. Maybe there’s guilt residing on his chest after all this time. Higuruma always suspected Shiu’s involvement in his accident, but he could never find enough evidence for it. It led to Higuruma giving up his one man search forcing himself to forgive the man. He couldn’t bear the stress of being angry and having a vengeful spirit. However, seeing you really provoked that anger that he thought was long gone. 
Were you to end up like your father? Higuruma highly doubted it. You were a frail little thing, and he won’t apologize when he says he agreed with your mom. Shiu had called him up one night when they were still friends, confided in him and told him that his wife didn’t believe in you. Didn’t believe that you’d make it far in life.
He’s met you and had a few conversations with you. You were only a child, yes, but the typical child would have an answer on standby when asked what they wanted to be when they grow up. You? You only shrugged your shoulders and didn’t say anything more. He was sure that you’d find a place where you’re wanted— needed— but in law?
Higuruma scoffed to himself. Law did not need another Kong. 
“How dare he?” Nobara stabbed at her lunch in anger, the chopsticks ferociously dividing the apple into two pieces in one go. She seemed to be angrier than you about the entire ordeal despite the fact that you told her he had given you a second chance and you managed not to mess it up this time. “I had talked to a few other students and they had said they didn’t submit it, so why did he come after you? I hate a hardass that’s so unfair. How did he even call himself a lawyer?”
You didn’t want to voice your speculations. And you didn’t want to voice that you knew him outside of your classes. You didn’t want her perspective on you to shift, liking how the girl was ready to take up for you. Her bottom lip jutted out in anger, an adorable pout settling on her features as she shoved the piece of fruit in her mouth. 
Megumi sat beside Nobara, for once, interested in the conversation. “I don’t know, that’s weird. I would report him to the Dean.”
You scrunch your eyebrows in between your lunch, still chewing your food. “It was just the first day of classes,” you fan off the situation. “Maybe my name was the first option and he just wanted to make an example to set the tone for the rest of the semester.”
You hadn’t told them every aspect of what happened when he had called you to stay behind. That would reveal too much and surely set Nobara off in flames, seeing how red her face is with anger right now. You were really hoping that this would be a one time occurrence as you didn’t want to have a professor with whatever personal vendetta they had against you. Higuruma was vile and cruel with his words, where they felt completely unnecessary and targeted. However, you pushed your intuition back, not wanting to start the very first year of college off on a bad note. 
“Maybe,” Megumi shrugs. “But you don’t want it to turn into some big thing. Just be careful, okay?”
Later that night, your mom calls you. Picking up the phone, you hold it to your ears as your voice is low. Your roommate had already fallen asleep while you were up, starting ahead on your class readings. “Hey, mom. It’s late, why’re you still up?”
“I should ask you the same,” your mom’s voice sounds. “Don’t tell me you’ve already started studying? Have the professors already started teaching?”
“Yeah, they have,” you chuckled. “Plus, I want to stay on top of things.”
“I just wanted to call in and check on you!” She sounds happy on the other line, and you can’t help but notice the silence in the background. From the moment you got here and they had to leave, whenever your mom initiated a phone call, your dad was always next to her. “Hope you’re settling in well.”
“I am,” you sigh. “Is dad not with you right now?”
“No,” your mom yawns. You can hear the ruffling of the bed sheets move as she’s climbing into bed. “He’s working late tonight.”
“Oh, well,” you start, Higuruma coming to mind. “Mom, do you remember Higuruma?”
There’s a long pause on the other line. Your mom’s heart rating picking up a beat as she hadn’t heard that name in a long while. You have to call out her name again to snap her outside of whatever trance that she was under. “Oh, sorry, dear. Yeah, I remember him. He used to be one of your dad’s closest colleagues. Why?”
“He’s a professor at Kyoto University,” you inform her. “I actually have him for one of my classes.”
“He is?” Your mom’s attention has been called, sitting up in the bed as she’s wide awake. “He hasn’t bothered you by any chance, has he?”
Her question catches you off guard, making you wonder if your mother or your dad have set people to watch over you on campus. More so, your father. How could you possibly know if Higuruma was bothering you within less than twenty four hours? However, you try to play it cool, ready to deny her concerns. “No, I was just wondering… We haven’t seen him in a while and I wanted to know why he never visited anymore?”
Your mother loses her guard for a moment, becoming candid with you— er, giving you half the truth. “Oh, well, after his accident, Higuruma decided to quit law. And we tried reaching out, but we never heard from him again.” 
“Accident?”
“Yeah,” your mom hums. “Some guys didn’t like their sentence and once they were let out, they came after him. Scared Higuruma shirtless, I guess, so he decided to switch career paths.”
“Oh,” you gasped. “I never knew that.”
“You were really young at the time,” Mom says. “We didn’t want you to burden you with something like that.”
Shortly after, you and your mom are bidding each other good night before hanging up the phone. You’re left speechless at the newfound information that it leaves you unfocused. Shutting off your laptop and closing your textbook, you set it aside and crawl underneath the covers. Your mom, on the other hand, still sits up in the king-sized bed, pondering on what she should do next. Never did she think that Shiu’s past would come back to haunt them. 
They made sure to cut all ties with the man, their plan working as the man resigned from his position as an attorney and they never heard from him again. It was planned so meticulously that to this day, Shiu and her aren’t sure whether or not Higuruma had detected it was them. Maybe he had an inkling, but if the man really wanted to go with his gut, they’d soon end up on the floor. 
She didn’t want to burden her husband with the past, but was it really safe that their daughter’s in the hands of a man that they had bad blood with? Scrolling through her contacts before Shiu’s name popped up, her thumb hovered over the call button ready to click it. You said you were fine though, that he hadn’t done anything to bother you in any type of way. So, maybe she should trust your word. Shutting her eyes, (Y/M) throws the phone down on the bed, her face in her hands as she lets out a huff. “Fuck me.”
However, sleep riddles her mind before she can truly think about it. Forgetting her phone, she reaches for the night lamp, pulling at the metal string until she hears that click and the light goes off. When her head hits the pillow, she’s out like a light and the next day. She forgets all about her conversation with you. 
You thought it would end there, but Higuruma found pleasure in your torment. Where he’s no longer calling you out in front of one hundred students, but writing snide notes in your assignments, overanalyzing everything that you do down to your vocabulary and grammar. When he asks you to stay back behind class, it’s to further chastise and criticize you for every tiny mistake that you make. 
It makes you lose sleep as you’ve hours past midnight studying, the small lamp over-shining your textbooks as your upperclassman roommate, Maki Zenin, watches you with concern. Oftentimes, she’s warning you, telling you to get rest and buying you little treats to get through the day because she knows you haven’t slept. It’s become such a concern that when Nobara stops by, she tells her what’s been going on. 
It’s the middle of first semester and you’re trying to complete work that’s due towards the end, trying to stay on top of all of your classes, but especially his. Maki couldn’t take it anymore, letting in the younger girl the moment she heard her knock and letting her crash through the dorm room. You don’t even notice as you’re nose deep into your assignments, an impending migraine resting on your head. Nobara snatches the textbook, throwing it to Maki’s side of the room in a rush. 
“Hey! I need that!” 
“No, you don’t!” Nobara immediately barks back. “(Y/N), have you ever eaten anything?”
You hesitate to answer, so you decide not to at all. Since she took your textbook, you reach for your laptop, but she proves to be even faster. Handling it gently, she shuts the screen and clutches it to her chest as her shoulders drop and tilts her head to the side. “You need to quit it, (Y/N). Not eating properly, no sleep? What’s this all about because you and I share the majority of our classes together and the work isn’t as strenuous as you’re making it seem?”
You wouldn’t cave in and confide in Nobara about your worries, failing to meet her eyes. However, she had an inkling that she knew what— or whom— had provoked you to this point. “Is it Professor Higuruma?”
You had never been a good liar apparently, always getting caught in them when you were younger, but you muster up a roll in your eyes as you scoff. “No,” it sounded so convincing that it killed the girl’s suspicion. “I just wanted to get ahead of my work and make sure I’m understanding the material.”
“Well, understanding the material won’t do you any good if you drop dead from exhaustion.” Nobara sets the laptop down on your nightstand, picking up your spiral notebooks and setting them on top of it as she scoots herself on the bed, kicking off her shoes. “We’re going to sleep.”
Furrowing your eyebrows, you watch as she pulls your folded blanket from the corner of your bed and unravels it. When she tells you to move over, you do so unconsciously making space for her. “We?”
“Yes, we,” Nobara confirms. “Since you won’t listen to Maki to the point she had to stop me on the way to classes to have a mini-intervention with you, I’m going to make sure that you actually fall asleep. Now, come snuggle up. I heard cuddling helps.”
It does. You and Nobara fall asleep in each other’s hold. It was so cute to witness that Maki had taken a few pictures herself, making sure to send them to you when you wake up. Luckily for you, the next day was Friday, so you didn’t have any classes. You managed to sleep in just fine, but Nobara on the other hand? She forgot that she had a ten a.m. class and was nearly late. She had to run there in her clothes from before and the purse she had brought with her. You felt guilty for making her late, keeping her there for so long because of the mess you put on yourself. You didn’t need to put in this extra work to prove yourself. You were doing just fine in all of your classes, including Higuruma’s. So why were you doing all of this?
You tried to take the day off, to rest and rejuvenate your mind, body and soul. However, you felt an itch inside of you. An itch that berated you for the studying you’ve missed for being so lackadaisical— that time you had allotted for it now down the drain. You reached for your textbook again and opened back your laptop, ignoring the sting in your eyes as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Right back in that loop you’ve put yourself in.
(Y/N), 
Please meet me in my office on Sunday, October 13, 2024. Two p.m. sharp.
Professor Higuruma
Higuruma always prided himself in being a just man, but he knew what he was doing to you wasn’t fair. You had potential in you after all, it seemed. You turned in decent work that didn’t make him want to gag, where it was better than a quarter than the other kids. You were putting in the work surely, always trying to correct the mistakes and errors he had highlighted in red. It seemed like you were seeking his validation through the desperation and lengths you were willing to take. He didn’t need to see it and you didn’t need to say a word, it’s in all of your work. And he can’t help, but boast to himself that he’s managed to tear you down with just using a sentence or two within his “constructive” criticism. He sends the email without a second thought, the corner of his lip twitching upwards in doing so. 
You see the notification on your smart watch, an email from Professor Higuruma. You reach for your phone, swiping at the notification to open and unlocking your phone. Reading anything from him brings a spike of anxiety running down your spine, especially given the fact he wants to see outside of school hours. You don’t think about it too deeply to notice its suspicion in his request, simply replying to confirm that you will be there and playing right into the devil’s hand. 
When you meet with Higuruma, his door is open. Sitting in his seat, he doesn’t look up from his work. He’s slouched forward, small brown pupils that always look exhausted as they flicker to you finally. He fixes his posture, straightening the white buttoned down shirt he’s wearing as he motions you to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. 
From there, he takes you in. You’re not wearing anything fancy, a t-shirt and jeans shorts that he’d deem too short. When you sit, the fat of your thighs join together and make Higuruma come to terms with just how much you’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman in his absence. He should be disgusted by how it makes him feel, rumbling something deep inside him. He wants you to feel bad for it.
“I see you couldn’t even be bothered to put on something decent,” he comments, clicking out of a tab to lean in the swivel chair. He folds his hands together, clicking his tongue on the brim of his mouth and giving you another once over. “Who’s going to take you seriously if you can’t even come to a meeting with your professor in appropriate attire?”
This guise of preparing you for the real world, for becoming a lawyer— it’s all too easy and you’re all too gullible. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that this was something really important or not—”
“It’s not,” he retorts, getting up from his seat, he brings himself in front of you, towering over you in a show of dominance. His hands stuffed inside the pockets of his dress pants as he leans against the edge of his desk, putting one leg over his knee. “But, you expect anyone to take you seriously dressed the way you are? Stand up.”
You don’t hesitate, standing up quickly and meeting Higuruma at eye level. He stands tall, a few inches taller than you. He’s taking a risk putting his hand on you, but considering that you’ve let him speak to you like this, he’s willing to test the waters and see. Gentle fingers that take your chin in his hand, forcing you to look directly into his eyes. He can see every flaw within you, every mark and blemish on your skin. Yet, it doesn’t deter the way his cock stirs inside his pants.
“Your father was a good lawyer— still is one— but you…” He tsks, voice getting raspy and deeper as his fingers trail down your neck to your clavicle. Pretty smooth skin is all he feels until he’s down to the hem of your shirt. He stops, trying to make his mind up. However, he’s feeling daring today. “I don’t know if you’ll even make it through the rest of your undergrad years. The work you’ve been handing in— mediocre, at best.”
He’s done more than invade your personal space, invading boundaries and crossing lines that should never be crossed as a professor and you as his student. You should tell him to stop, but the shiver down your spine does the opposite of what you want, making you inch closer to him as your breath hitches. You can feel him— his chest pressing against your chest and something pressing against your stomach. You’re praying that it’s his belt buckle, but you feel a faint stir letting you know it’s something else. His hands travel your body, stopping to graze and draw the shape of your breast. 
“But— But you’ve been giving me good grades.” You knit your eyebrows together in confusion, your grades reflecting one thing but his words another. 
“Yes,” he agrees before his rebuttal. “But good grades won't make you far as a lawyer. Don’t you want to be just like your daddy? Taking charge of whatever case you’re assigned that no one dares question you?”
His question makes sense, making you think about it. You want to make your father proud, and Higuruma was a man that used to stand right on your father’s level. If anyone could show you the ropes and help you other than your father, it would be him. You nod, “yes.”
“Then, you have to do everything I say,” Higuruma says. “Would you do anything I told you to?”
You take a minute to process, daring to look away before his hands are back on your face, harshly cupping your jaw and forcing you to keep eye contact before he’s repeating his question. “Would you do anything I told you to?”
“Yes,” you finally respond. After all, you’ve been doing it so willingly before. Higuruma grins, appeased with your response as he slowly nods. His grip on you loosening before finally letting go. 
“Good,” he hums. “You’re to meet with me every Saturday at two p.m. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” you say just above a whisper. His back is to you as he’s gathering all of his stuff. You spend a moment right there, unsure of what you should do next until he’s glancing behind him. He chuckles to himself inwardly. You’re so easy. Were you always this compliant with your parents? “You’re dismissed.”
The next time you speak with your parents, it’s in person. You’ve been listening to Nobara a bit more, taking breaks when needed. Though, Higuruma always stood in the back of your mind berating you. Somehow, he’s gotten ahold of your personal number, sending you messages and reminders that you must be studying and always aiming high if you want to be one of the best lawyers in Japan. His voice, it’s always lingering and berating you for moments of leisure like this. However, your mom and dad had been badgering you to come home and visit them as you’ve been slowly losing contact with them because of your extraneous schedule. 
At the front door, you punch in the code before you hear the click of it opening. When it swings open, you’re immediately comforted by your mom’s cooking. The mouth watering aroma of a home cooked meal puts you in a trance as your feet make a bee line straight for the kitchen. Your mom’s standing behind the stove with her back to you as she hasn’t detected your arrival. In the pot is a meal that reminds her of home, something she made for you often as a child and still to this day. 
A simple graze of her shoulder is enough to make her jump, a high-pitched scream coming from her lips before she’s spinning around and making the hot oil splatter against you and causing the both of you to scream. She slaps your shoulder when she finally calms down, grunting in annoyance. “Don’t scare me like that!”
“I didn’t mean to,” you can only retort, grabbing the kitchen towel to wipe off the cooling oil as your nerves settle down. When the both of you are in a calmer state, your mom pulls you into a hug. 
“Oh, how I’ve missed you!” she coos, pulling away to take you in. “I didn’t expect you to come in until a bit later— are those eye bags? Have you not been sleeping properly?”
You fan away her hands that try to reach out and touch them. You groan, not feeling like talking about the subject matter. “Don’t worry about it. Where’s dad?”
The devil himself responds with, “he’s right here.” You can hear the rough shuffle of his feet pattering down the steps. “What was going on earlier? I heard screaming.”
From the small towel over his head and the wet t-shirt, it’s evident that he just came out of the shower. Your mom props a hand on her hip, side-eying you. “Oh, nothing. Just your daughter scaring her dear old mother to death.”
“It was an accident,” you roll your eyes. “I just touched her shoulder and she jumped.”
Shiu chuckles, making it to the kitchen and pulling you in for a hug. “(Y/N), you have to be careful. You know how jumpy your mother can get.”
The rest of the evening goes on smoothly as your mother finally calls you and your father over for dinner. Three plates prepared, your mother sets them down on the table as you’ve had the silverware and glasses set from before. You lean to give your mother a kiss on the cheek before sliding in your seat. “Thank you, mom.”
“Yes,” Shiu agrees. “Thank you, dear.”
“Mhm,” she chirps, finally setting down her own plate and sitting around the table next to your father. Her eyes are vibrant as she scans the area, happy to have her two prized-possessions with her in the same room again. “Shiu, can you start with the prayer?”
Halfway through your plate, your father looks over at you curiously. The bags underneath your eyes and your occasional yawns— it reminds him of his years in college. But, you’ve barely called and reached out to him as he was hoping. It made him concerned. Were you too scared to ask him for help even though he had blatantly told you he’d help you in any way, shape or form? “How have your classes been? Surely, they’re not stressing you out as much yet.”
“Oh, they’re stressing me out,” you snort. “But… nothing I can’t manage.”
“You’re not struggling with any of them, are you?” Shiu asks. “You haven’t reached out to me at all. Are you sure everything’s fine?”
“Yeah,” you reassure your father with a nod. “I’m passing all of my classes currently. And I have one of my professors offering me help outside of class hours to help me out.”
“Oh, really?” Shiu raises his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair. “Which one? I might know them.”
“You do,” you confirm. “You remember Higuruma, right? He’s a professor now, but I’m sure mom already told you about it. He’s offered to help me out with studying.”
Shiu stops eating, resting his fork gently against the plate as he knits his eyebrows together and looks at you, intaking this vital piece of information. He then glances at his wife, wondering how she could’ve forgotten to inform him of it. His wife fails to meet his eyes, forcing him to look back at you. He can’t help but repeat himself, “Oh, really?”
You nod, not noticing the scrunch of your father’s eyebrows and how heavy the atmosphere has turned. He tilts his head in curiosity, wondering the safety of his child within his old friend’s hands. “And you say he’s offered to tutor you?”
You hum in confirmation. “Yeah—”
“Honey,” Shiu stops himself, thinking about what he’s to say next. He doesn’t want to alarm you about the matter, and he’s not too sure himself if Higuruma will be a liability. The way you say it with confidence, not an ounce of fear in your mind. Is his old friend truly looking out for you for the greater good? Does he want to take this chance? “I’m not too sure about that.”
“Shiu,” your mom reaches for her husband’s hand, dissuading him from saying anything more. At the way your parents look at each other, it calls for your attention, finally aware of the suffocating tension lingering in the air. 
“Why? Is something the matter?” you ask. “Mom told me about what happened to him, and he seems fine now—”
Shiu shoots his wife a glare, a simple action that speaks so many words. “Don’t worry about it, honey. It’s nothing you need to fret about.”
Your father stands up, his plate unfinished, but he’s decided that he’s had enough. “I’ll do the dishes, baby.” 
He bends down to his wife's ear, planting a kiss against her temple before whispering, “we’ll talk about this later.”
Higuruma can prove himself to be a gentleman with you, in instances such as now where he has you on your knees, standing right in front of you with the door to his office locked. He’s got himself pressed up against you, his erection touching your face and forcing you to feel him. You decided to listen to him, wearing something more business casual in a button-up blouse and pencil skirt that had Maki questioning your whereabouts. You never did end up telling her just where you were going, heading straight through the door. 
He’s caressing your face, pushing away at your braids. He had undone your ponytail, pulling the clip away to see how it fell past your shoulders. You’re a pretty sight to see like this, so obedient and following every word he says. The lights in his office are dim, but they illuminate against you. It’s as though your skin is glowing, dazzling beautifully as he’s got your cheek pressed against his erection and rubbing himself against you. 
Even in proper attire, you manage to make it so sexually appealing. His eyes squinting down in disdain as he tuts out a sigh. “You just can’t seem to do anything right. I guess you’ll be one of those lawyers that sleep their way around to get what they want, huh?”
You shake your head in disagreement, making Higuruma laugh. “Oh, but yes. I’ve got you on your knees right now, looking like whore, so I believe it’s safe to assume what you’re destined for— C’mon and undo my pants for me.”
You should’ve expected it the first time you had come in for your study session, that first Saturday, he did nothing but graze his hands all over your body as he tested you on the material. Who were the most important people in the Japanese dynasty during the Heian era? When did it come to fall? He would ask you all while his hand was on your thigh, inching up and between your legs to cup your heat. You would falter and stammer on your words, feeling his hot touch embedding itself into your skin. Whenever you came close to saying a word, he’d apply pressure and glide his finger down your covered heat. 
You were ashamed of yourself. Of wanting this, not telling your parents the full truth, not telling your friends either. Nobara was no longer suspicious, though Higuruma was nowhere near being one of her favorite professors, but she backed off and was no longer checking up on you as she frequently did at one point. But maybe she got tired of your lies and no one longer deemed it her concern. 
However, the lust discarded all of that said shame, enjoying the way this older man makes you feel at the swipe of a finger and how his degrading words have created you into someone you could no longer recognize. You could only guess that you weren’t moving fast enough for his liking, feeling his hand come up to grip your jaw roughly and pulling you closer to him. “Aren’t you listening? Take off my pants and suck my cock like the filthy slut you are.”
Your hands tremble as the reach for the zipper of his dress pants, fingertips ghosting against his hard length. Your eyes move to flicker from him down to it, where you can feel that familiar feeling grow inside of you. That flutter deep inside your stomach as arousal pooled onto the center of your panties. You failed to wear a pair of protective shorts underneath, your legs squeezed tightly together as your juices seep through and stick to your inner thighs. Feeling that metal tab, pulling it down. You grow more daring by the second, hands moving to cup his length through the undergarment and fondle it. 
You can see how his chest constricts, stopping his breath as he loses himself for a moment. But only for a moment does he shut his eyes, feeling the way your hand is gentle and causing more precum to leak from his tip, before he’s bunched up your hair together and forces you away. You try to contact the high-pitched screech that leaves from your lips. “Do you think you’re the one in charge?”
Tears prickle out from the corner of your eyes as you shake your head, your voice squeaking when you utter out, “no.”
“Then, what’d I tell you to do?” He asks.
“You told me to undo your pants.” Your heart’s beating fast, squinting your eyes as you feel the tears fall before they flutter back open to stare into Higuruma’s. For the first time, he looks so alive, and you take pride to know it’s because of you.
“Did I ask for anything more?”
“No,” you sob.
“Do I have to punish you?” Higuruma hums. “Give you a good spanking and leave that good pussy soaked?”
“No,” you croak. “Please, no.”
Gosh, he can’t help but revel in this. He has you begging. He hums some more, pondering over just what to do with you. “Maybe I will leave you all high and dry, but not before I get what I want. Since, you’re so incompetent and I have to do everything myself—” He tugs down his pants just far enough where it’s right above his knees and brings his underwear down along with it, his cock slapping against his abdomen. “—Hm, suck. Don’t use your hands. Keep them where they’re at.” 
His shirt’s still on and hanging down loosely. He grips himself at the base, where it gives you a better peek up his shirt, where you can see the dark hairs of his happy trail travel to his cock. You see how’s sort of let go of himself, his pubic hair untamed. His grip on your hair is still strong, forcing your lips to touch the tip of his cock where pre stil leaks from him. The sticky translucent substance paints your lips with it. Slowly, your mouth opens and he takes the opportunity to make it wider, shoving his cock deep inside your mouth until you’re full of him. 
He’s got a set of girth to him, making your mouth stretch open widely as his tip kisses the back of your throat. The mushroom-shaped head of him basking in the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him. Your mouth hollows around his length, trying to accustom yourself to the ache that’s already beginning to settle in. With one hand on your shoulder, Higuruma pushes you further down on your knees as he presses himself into your warmth. How your eyes water so beautifully as another set of tears become to showcase themselves. It causes him to groan, having a young thing like yourself in his grasp, all for him to use and take advantage of. 
“The only thing you’re good for is to cry while you take cock,” Higuruma groans as he forces you off his length, watching you inhale deeply. He’s being kind by giving you this rest period, taking a moment to get your features like this memorized. How you already look a mess. “I can see it. You sprawled out on a judge’s desk, pleading with them to make you win. Legs wide open and your pussy begging to be fucked. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Bet you’re fucking soaked.”
Sheathing himself back inside of you, Higuruma groans. “‘M gonna fucking love this. Getting to use you just how I want and cum in that pretty mouth of yours.”
You can barely breathe through your nose with the force he’s using on you, pushing your head down so deep within him that what you can intake is his smell. His earthy cologne still lingering on him as well as his natural musk. Again, you should feel ashamed. You should feel ashamed for how your pussy trembles, your juices soaked to no salvation. You’re careful to go slowly, your hands going unnoticed when they travel in between your legs to cup yourself. You’ve imagined this plenty of times before from the moment you started these one-on-one tutoring sessions with him. You wondered what it would like to feel him, what his cock felt like inside of you— whether it was in your mouth or your pussy. 
You wanted to know how it would feel stretching you out and how good he’d fuck you. Nights where you’d play with your pussy, hoping that Maki was fast asleep and didn’t hear the toy that was trapped in between your legs. You’d conceal your moans that dared to slip out, hips bucking as you were close. You’d picture it was Higuruma— your father’s old friend and now professor— making you feel this good. And when you came, you were too scared to make a move, falling asleep in your own mess and hoping that by the next morning, the stench of your release wasn’t as potent as it was in the moment. 
Now that you’re below him and getting mouth-fucked by him, it makes you moan out as you stick your hand underneath your skirt, the fabric riding up and barely covering your ass. Fortunately for the both of you, the door is locked. However, if anyone were to come in right now, they’d see your ass on display with your hands right in between your legs and happily sucking off your professor, a man more than twice your age. It would be a pretty sight to behold, watching your pussy drool so selfishly as you play with your clit as Higuruma face fucks you.
His hand in your hair, a slight pain throbbing in the back of your head as he controls your movements altogether. Your head bobs up and down as you moan like a whore under him. He has to lean against the table every so often to get a hold of himself, seeing you like this makes him feel like he’s young again and can’t withhold himself. He pants and grunts, his chest rising and falling as his eyelids grow heavy. He sees the roll of your hips, finding that your hands have snaked in between to touch your pussy. He won’t stop you. No, instead, he chuckles as he rolls his hips into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re such a dirty little whore. Who am I kidding? You’ll amount to nothing the second I’m done with you. Look at you, touching yourself.”
He says it like it’s a sin, spitting it out with so much venom but inside you, his cock twitches. Resting his weight against the desk, he drags you along with him, making sure you never leave his length. He ignores the way you gag around his length, sputtering out in pain as you whine and mewl before his hips move faster. You have to catch air as quickly as possible with the amount of force he uses. 
The sounds of blubbering and wet skin sounding from the two of you echoes inside the office. Your pussy clenches as you grind down into your hand, a finger snaking between your walls as you can slightly bounce against it and wishing that it was Higuruma’s cock instead. Your eyes shut tight as you let the tears seep down and dry onto your skin. Your high-pitched moans reverberating against your chest and to him, his arousal pooling into the back of your throat as he hits at your uvula repetitively. All throughout, your desperation to make it through the years pours out of you, greedily taking what Higuruma gives.
It feels like he’s the only person who’s told you the truth to your face. You’re not smart enough; you have no ambition; you’ll amount to nothing. It all pours into your head, your mother’s words, the feigned feelings from family and family friends as they ultimately agree with her. Someone’s finally said it to your face, and you’re coming to accept it. And through your desperation to prove them wrong, but never Higuruma, you’ll do whatever it takes to have them biting at their own words. 
Spit pools from the corner of your lips, trickling down your chin as your head looks up at him with a look of determination set in your eyes. It piques his interest what’s made you snap, but doesn’t question it when he feels your tongue grazing the shaft as you finally put in some more effort. Your tongue tasting that vein than ran down underneath, making Higuruma take in a deep inhale. No longer does he have to force you down his length as you meet his thrusts with eagerness and his grip loosens. 
“That’s right,” he breathes. “Fuck, be a proud whore and get me off.”
You feel like, after one hit, you’ve become addicted. Fingers stuffed inside your pussy as you multitask with getting him off as well as yourself. Your chest rises and falls and you can feel yourself so close, getting so close to hitting that brink. However, Higuruma stops you before you could, a set of words that have you wondering if sorcery is real. “Don’t you dare fucking cum. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop right now.”
And just the obedient girl you are, you stop with a whiny mewl. Simultaneously, Higuruma pulls out of you, leaving your mouth empty. 
“Let me see your fingers,” but as he says so, he reaches for the hand tucked between your legs and brings it up in the air. Holding your hand by the wrist as he sees how your index and middle finger’s coated in your slick, making them glossy as a string hangs in the air. 
“Clean them off,” he demands, shoving your hands in your face and near your lips. “Taste how much of a dirty slut you are.”
He watches as your lips wrap your fingers inside, making you taste yourself as you hum in delight. He lets go of your wrist, a firm grip around the base of his cock before he’s ejaculating. Wet and lubricated all thanks to you, he’s gripping the back of your neck and holding you still, making your head lean back. “Be a good girl and—”
You don’t let him finish, lulling your mouth open and sticking out your tongue. Shit, you’re fucking gorgeous like this, he can’t help but think to himself. Fucking his fist, he can feel himself getting closer. Holding you still with a visceral grip, his cock so close to his mouth, he feels himself twitching as that euphoric feeling returns and makes him feel young again. He spurts his seed inside your mouth, white shooting inside and some splattering on your face. You moan out without shame, opening your mouth wider as he continues to leak himself inside of you. “Fuuuck,” he breathes.
Falling from his high, Higuruma comes to his senses as he looks down at you. You haven’t cleaned yourself up, afraid to move. He bends down to pull up his pants, his cock softening as he makes his way over to his desk. Sitting back in his seat, he doesn’t make eye contact with you. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get yourself all cleaned up and get out of my office. We’ll see each other next Saturday.”
Being a private investigator means constantly being at discomfort. Well, that’s what it means for Nanami because as he captures each picture of you and Higuruma in such compromising positions, he grimaces. Hired by Shiu Kong, he’s known well throughout the world of law, but also in the underground where the darkness prowls freely. Ties that follow the Zenin clan, he’s a person who’s gone untouched and will continue on remaining so in this world of dirty politics. With every snap of the camera and in such an uncomfortable position, he’s not sure how to reveal to his boss what his daughter and ex-friend have been doing behind closed doors.
Your father decided to give Higuruma some grace— sort of. He hired Nanami to essentially watch over you, see where you go and watch Higuruma’s movements. He didn’t want the blonde to immediately report to him, to simply gather up all intel on the dark-haired bastard before making a sound decision. Maybe, just maybe, Shiu could trust you in the hands of Higuruma. Never did he expect your hands to be all around Higuruma.
Nanami made sure to select the most appropriate photos of the bunch he has of you and the former colleague, watching his boss open the manila folder and take it in— take it all in. A calm before the storm settling in as Shiu looks through each and every photo before he’s at the last one. Then, when he shuts the folder closed, he throws it across the room, all the photographs flying around haphazardly. “Why didn’t you show me any of this sooner?”
“You gave me strict orders not to, sir,” Nanami reminds him, fixing his spectacles. “You made me make sure of it.”
Shiu pinches the bridge of his nose. “One thing you need to know, there’s always a time where you must break the rules— AND NOW WAS ONE OF THEM!” The seat he was in is thrown backwards, now on the ground as he hovers menacingly over Nanami. He huffs and puffs, face reddening with anger. 
“Shit,” he curses, hiding his hands in his face. He feels like he’s at the brink of tears. How stupid. How stupid of him to let his guard down. “What am I going to tell my wife? How am I going to explain to her that this—” he gestures towards the thrown down photos “—has been going on for months?”
He starts pacing around the room, hand tangling in his hair before throwing his head back and muttering, “I’m going to kill him.”
Reaching for his phone, Shiu skims through his contacts until he lands on the familiar name— Fushiguro. 
Months have passed now as winter break draws near. You’ve just finished your final exam, now able to gain some peace as you walk alongside Nobara as the two of you head towards the courtroom. You roll your neck to stretch your body from hours of sitting and stressing. Nobara moans as she hears the crick of her muscles, “Oh, I’m so glad that that’s over with. I’m exhausted!”
“I just want to eat something, then pass out,” you grumble, hands shoved inside of your hoody as you follow alongside her. At the mention of food, her eyes light up as she spins on her heel, grabbing you by the shoulders. “Speaking of food, you wanna go get hibachi? There’s this restaurant not too far away from campus—”
At that moment, your phone vibrates in your pocket, a message from Higuruma popping on screen, but his caller ID underneath an entirely different name. His message is simple: 7:30 pm. Be there. “I’m sorry, Nobara, but I can’t. Something just came up.”
Nobara frowns, crossing her arms. You’ve been talking to some guy, you’ve admitted it, but you never go into complete detail. All Nobara knows is that once he texts, you’re ready to drop everything to run to him. Within her fair share of relationships, never has she been so compliant towards her man’s every request. “I don’t like this, (Y/N). You’re always dropping everything to see this guy and we never have time to hang out with each other anymore. It’s like, once I get you out of the books, something else steals you away from me.”
You frown, feeling guilty, but you can’t miss this. You always tell yourself that, not wanting to go receive any form of punishment from the older man. “I’m sorry, but—”
“That’s all you can say!” Nobara grows agitated, letting you go and turning her back on you. “Y’know what? Just… Just go.”
And you do, without further hesitation. 
You body lies down underneath him so pliant, your body so willing to give and respond to him as your legs are wide open. Though it may be on your body, his pussy is displayed open for his sight only. How your folds glisten like porcelain and how you clench in desperation for him— for his cock to fill it up. Such a pretty and disgusting little thing you are, always coming back to be used how he wants and never objecting to a word he says. Never saying no. 
He finds it pathetic. He finds you pathetic. 
It’s pathetic how as time comes to pass, whenever you look at him, there’s a sense of need in your eyes. Your mind becomes distorted as you long for him by the second. How your mind has come to jumble up together to form these thoughts inside your head that he’d seek out a relationship further than this. How in the past, you’ve confessed to wanting more and while he tells you how pitiful you are, you always come back. You always come back, seemingly hoping and praying that someday he’ll give you what you want. 
However, every time he looks into your eyes, he sees your damn father and he knows he can never give you more. Not just because of the restrictions, but because he doesn’t want to. 
When you were waiting inside his house, giving you the spare key so that you could hurry inside and get out of the sight of possible nosey neighbors, you were so patient. Laying on his bed with your body sprawled out naked the moment he stepped through his bedroom door, gracing him with the presence of his living fleshlight that he’s come to use and abuse. He’s still got his clothes on, simply pulling down his pants and underwear for his cock to spring free and explore that tight pussy of yours. 
How it always manages to snap back into place, making him have to stretch you out all over again baffles him. By the many times he’s fucked you, he should have it shaped to the exact size and measurements of his cock. He barely preps you, pushing the head of his cock at your entrance and listening to the way you writhe and whine underneath him in pain. Your eyes shutting as you cry like you always do. He grins maniacally as his hand comes to wrap around your neck, holding onto it and forcing your head deeper into the soft cushion of his pillow. 
He silences you through the constriction of air, your cries now silent as he bottoms out inside of you. Your mewls cut short as you can no longer breathe, and the sting to your face always comes as a shock. With the steady rock of his hips, your pussy clenches around him and sucks him in tightly as you roll your hips languidly, feeling the oxygen return into your lungs. 
Higuruma doesn’t want to admit that you have potential. Potential to be a good lawyer. Doesn’t want any guilt to consume him for how he’s made you feel, so fucks into you until your pussy’s all battered and molded back to accommodate him perfectly. You’ve done better than most of the students on your exams, both midterm and finals. You never needed much help from him, you never did. But while your score sits at the top, he has to remind you of your place. That you’ll always be beneath him. 
“You think that a good score will carry you on for the rest of your life?” He leans down to grab your bottom lip with his teeth, biting down on the delicate skin as his grip around your neck tightens. He drills into your tight pussy, knowing that his brutal words always make it flutter. “You’ll get nowhere. You’ll always be eating the scum at the bottom of my shoe.”
He chuckles darkly, it echoing through the room as the wet sound of skin slapping against skin vibrates through the air. The stench of sex wafting through as your mixed arousals seep through. He leans down to your ears, nibbling against the skin. “But I’d bet you’d love that, too.”
He slaps you again, the headboard of his bed, hitting the wall repeatedly as the impact sounds through with everything. “Filthy fuckin’ whore.”
Deep in your mind, somewhere far deep within, it’s telling you— practically begging you— to find your way out. It’s asking you to dig yourself out of the trenches as it’s coming to suffocate you and swallow you whole, but you always push it back. Forcing yourself to accept Higuruma’s cruelty and furthermore, to enjoy it. The joy you felt when your exam grades were announced within a little over twelve hours, that sense of relief and pride that rang through your bones as you couldn’t help but tear up a little. A smile gracing your features as you tell yourself that you did it. And Higuruma’s voice infiltrates your mind shortly after to remind you that it’s because of him. 
You mewl out, your breasts bouncing with each thrust of his hips as you make sure to meet him with every one of them. Your back arching off the bed as your nails dig into his dark sheets. Your mouth is open agape, crying out and moaning out his name like a mantra. Your juices coating his cock and escaping the tight crevices every chance it gets, slipping deep into the cracks of your ass as your sweet cunt drools for him. 
His breath against your skin as he’s so close to your face, brown eyes watching your face twist and contort with pleasure. “Tell me how much of a whore you are.”
“I’m—I’m such a whore,” you manage to gasp, feeling his hands tighten once more. “S-such a filthy and nasty whore.”
“Yes, you are,” he grins wildly. “A dirty whore whose pussy loves older cock. Willing to get drilled by her professor. So, so nasty.”
“Are you…” you try to get your breathing under control. “Will you make me cum tonight?”
“I don’t know,” Higuruma hums, burying himself into you deeply as he stops all ministrations. “Do you think you deserve to cum tonight?”
“Yes,” you nod meekly. “Yes, I’ve been so good.”
“I decide if you’ve been good or not,” another sound of a slap infiltrating the air as Higuruma returns to the beatings of his cock against your walls. He’s an evil man, finding his fill within you as he’s fucked you of his load already, painting your insides white but deciding it’s not enough. When he feels that you’re close, he’ll stop and let your impending orgasm dissipate within the thin air as you whine and mewl in displeasure and beg him to let you have at least one release. It isn’t until he feels that coil in his stomach that he finally decides to be nice. 
“Fine, but you’ve got to cum with me,” he says, capturing your lips with a kiss as he holds onto your neck. He swallows your lips in hunger as you gleefully reciprocate the action, kissing him with so much fervor and passion. It’s sloppy as your pussy pulsates, it screams of your essence as you milk the older man of his. 
A milky white ring forming around his base as he continues fucking you, forcing the cum to drip out of your pussy as the drilling of his hips slow its rough and fast pace. Together, the both of you catch your breath as Higuruma finally pulls away. And for some reason, you thought tonight would be different, but when he climbs off of you to sit at the edge of the bed, you realize nothing’s changed as his voice rings out. Always the same thing, “Hurry up and get going. It’s getting late.”
At first, you always believed that it was his small show that he cared. It’s getting late, your delusions made you believe that he said that because the sky was darkening and he didn’t want you getting snatched away by the wonders of night. But every time he said it, he sounded emptier and emptier. There’s no meaning behind his words. So, you get dressed, calling yourself a lift for a few blocks down in the hopes of going undetected, never noticing the dark car that’s parked a few houses back, watching you leave. 
Shiu lights himself a cigarette, letting out a big exhale when he opens the door the moment you’re no longer in sight. He hated to have prolonged this, but he had to play it smart. Now that colleges will be closing soon for the holidays, it was the perfect time. You had called a couple days prior, saying that you’d be home in two to three days at most. The last thing Shiu had Nanami do was tap your phone, where he saw all your conversations with Higuruma. The conversations the two of you shared were always short and sweet— just what Shiu needed. While you’re on break, Higuruma won’t message you and you’ll come to believe that he’s busy. It wouldn’t be the first he’d gone days without messaging you. You wouldn’t suspect a thing. 
He felt disgust within himself, feeling like a failure of a father for letting this happen. He should’ve checked up on you more, should’ve persisted that you only sought him for help. Hell, he should’ve looked through your schedule the moment you got it, so he could’ve nipped it in the bud from then. A fool he is for putting faith in the school he used to attend. He is a fool for giving Higuruma the benefit of the doubt. However, this regret and pent up anger won’t subside the longer he mopes about it. Now that he knows and now that he’s here, something will finally be done about this. 
“You sure you wanna witness this?” Toji asks the man, hopping out of his side as they both approach the house. The lawyer had always stayed on the sidelines, never wanting to get too involved in Toji’s lifestyle. Anyone could be watching and that itself was a liability. Though, with a son himself, Toji can’t say he blames the man. But, would the lawyer truly be able to handle the bloodshed? “It can get pretty nasty.”
“Nah, I need to,” Shiu takes a long drag from the cigarette. He can feel it pulsating inside of him. If Higuruma didn’t die tonight, someone else will. “Promised my wife I would.”
“Haha,” Toji chuckles, remembering the night the two of them met. He feels pride within himself for being such a good wingman. “Yeah.”
“That’s enough talking,” Shiu drops his cigarette, crushing it with the heel of his shoe, walking ahead of Toji. “This bastard needs to die.”
Sneaking in through the patio door, the two men walk in silence. The gun that’ll be used to kill the former lawyer tucked away in the back of Toji’s pants, him reaching out to pull it out of the confines. Shiu glances at the hitman, giving him a stern look. “It better not jam.”
“My baby?” he scoffs. “She’d never.”
Shiu rolls his eyes. “Anything goes wrong and your pay’s depleting.”
“We’ll talk about that if it comes to it.” They spot Higuruma in the bedroom. Clothes still on as he reaches for laptop in the cart. Shiu tuts as he opens the door, “Your clothes are still on? Good. At least you’ll die with some dignity.”
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( author's note. ) this fic was so much fun to write, and i can only hope that you guys enjoyed reading it just as much as i had writing it. thank you for taking the time to indulge in this fic, please comment or reblog with your thoughts.
╰┈➤ credits: thank you so much, @hiraethwrote , for beta reading this for me & making sure i didn't publish absolute garbage for everyone to read.
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moodymisty · 2 months ago
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Hello I hope you are having a good week! I love your blog and anons so much <3 (The Horus feet post lives rent free in my head)
Your hc about Sanguinius having a secret possessive streak activated a neuron in my brain because its been stuck in my head for days and Im completely normal about him I promise :') my request:
His possessiveness rearing its head unexpectedly for the first time. To the point it even surprises him with how grumpy it makes him feel. His lover had only really been around him and his sons since theyd gotten together so he is caught off guard by this sudden anger.
She is meeting a few of his brothers for the first time at some kind of meeting and she laughing and smiling with Vulkan or maybe Fulgrim is being a little TOO friendly with her and Sanguinius just feels this red hot rage rip thru him without warning.
He goes to his lover and tensely bids his brother goodbye and herds her back to their shared quarters for some totally-normal-not-jealous-at-all sex (and a little bitey blood drinking) leaving her a total mess
If this is too specific, grumpy possessive vampire pigeon boyfriend is all I crave. Angry Sangy hits different...
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Author's Note: Tried to write this normally and really struggled, so I decided to do a flashback style just to make it easier on me.
Relationships: Sanguinius/Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFW, Rough sex, Biting, Blood play, Possessive behavior
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When you first awoke the feeling of lightheadedness overtook you immediately, and you drifted off asleep again for a short while longer.
After you woke for the second time, you noticed your Angel’s absence and leaned up to look around.
The Red Tear has been Sanguinius’ home for quite awhile now, and this trip back to Terra was well deserved. Even if much was unexpected.
A lot had changed in this time away. You first and foremost. He had left Terra with just his legion, and was now returning with a beloved at his side. It was very clear upon his arrival that this was the most interesting news.
Horus had been the first to greet him, giving him a friendly one armed hug. You had tucked yourself behind Raldoron when Sanguinius had waved for you to come forward, and put his hand on your shoulder. Raldoron stood close watch- on edge with an instinctive protectiveness triggered by your nervousness.
“I would like you to meet someone,”
Sanguinius had first told Horus. Horus then went and told Fulgrim. Fulgrim told Ferrus, who then complained to Vulkan. Vulkan was more chaste and didn’t gossip, but did say he was going to meet Sanguinius and his beloved upon passing Jaghatai.
Suddenly then all the Primarchs currently on Terra were crowding around his beloved sniffing around, and Sanguinius was furious.
You had only ever been around him and his sons since he had first fallen in love with you; To see others crowding around looking at you, asking you questions that teeter on the edge of too personal, watching as you struggle to keep your own head and answer without wilting under an unfamiliar primarch aura?
He hated it.
Seeing Vulkan smile at you made him want to throw his spear into his chest.
Seeing Fulgrim put a hand on your shoulder made him want to tear the Phoenician's throat out with his teeth.
Horus’ smile and jokes about you grounding the angel made him watch to wrap his hands around the Warmaster’s neck.
Sanguinius had snatched you and dragged you away the moment he had an opening to, pushing you in the direction of his Terran bedchambers.
'You smell like them.'
His nose wrinkled in disgust.
You should smell like him; The oil on his feathers, the scent of his own sweat and skin. Sometimes you smell like his sons when you are within a close proximity of them for awhile, which is less offensive that what it is currently, but not preferred.
He threw you into the bed, the messy unmade blankets bunching around you as fluffy down flies up. Sanguinius’ quarters are surprisingly messy, and his constant feather losses make the places he spends most a fluffy explosion of down and a few flight feathers.
He never spoke as he caged you under his body, looking down at you with a fierce gaze before his lips trapped your own. You felt the warmth of them, the way his tongue brushed against your lips and demands entry. His fangs are sharp- they nick your lips almost every time he deepens a kiss, and you end up with little droplets of blood on the inside of your waterline.
You can still fell the broken skin this morning, licking your bottom lip.
Something about him snapped, what was normally a gentle and soft man who touched you like you were made of glass suddenly was throwing you around, growling and snorting like little more than an animal.
'S-Sang-'
You could barely even finish his name as his fingers drove deeper into your cunt, and you could tell he was in a rush. Your grit your teeth and moaned, teetering on the knife's edge of pain too intense for you to enjoy, as his hot breath fanned over your skin and his fingers curled and beckoned you from deep inside your cunt. His lips hovered over the large vein of your neck, feeling the pulse of your racing heart just beneath your skin.
When he pulled them out you whimpered at the ache, the way your thighs shook along with your whole body. Sanguinius grabbed your hips and you sucked in air at the intensity, flipping you on your stomach.
'Up.'
When you don't understand his request immediately he gently rapped his hand over your ass and listened to you squeal out after the sound of smacked flesh rang out; Soon after you shifted to push your hips higher in the air for him.
You can still feel the echo of that lingering slap. You lay sideways in bed, wrapped in a thick red blanket trying to ignore the aches. You can still feel in your cunt the soreness as well, more than usual.
The feeling of the fat head of his cock popping past your entrance made you grit your teeth and whine, hands gripping the blankets. Sanguinius kept pushing, listening to your soft noises of half protest until he seated himself fully inside of you and his balls pressed against your clit.
The bruises of his harsh thrusts, hips slapping against your ass and forming a chorus of skin on skin, wet sounds of your cunt tightening and leaking around his cock- are still blossoming, if not in color but in pain.
Normally Sanguinius is gentle enough that you only get a muscle ache at most, but in his lack of self control you now struggle to get out of the bed and get dressed.
‘Their eyes may wander but yours won’t; You are mine.’
You felt the way he thrusts deep into you, slipping through your walls as the tip of his cock knocks against places untouched by everyone but him. The thick base of his cock stretched your entrance far enough that it almost burned, but in an almost pain that had tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and hiccuping moans in your throat.
Sanguinius is rarely rough; But when he is you feel like you can barely survive it, despite your cunt crying for more leaking around him like you’ve never wanted him more.
After he filled you to the brim and had your cunt throbbing with your heart beat from overstimulation, he pulled out of you and listened to the defeated, quiet whine as you feel the stretch from the head of his cock popping out of your entrance.
‘Tilt your head.’
You weakly let him in, feeling his hot skin fan over your own. He bites and listened to the way you hiss, whimpering in pain. He laps at your neck for a few moments before pulling away, finding a spot closer to your shoulder.
He bit again and again, each time enjoying the way your skin broke and blood flooded his mouth. When your eyes watered in pain his hand slipped between your legs to distract you, brushing over your throbbing clit and feeling the way your hole leaks his own cum onto his hand as well as your growing arousal as he toys with you.
Your neck still aches, and your head feels a bit light. You almost stumble walking out of his bedchambers, walking down the hall and wrapped your arms around yourself.
“My lady?”
You hear a familiar voice of the chapter master, who you presume is attempting to find Sanguinius same as you.
He quickly notices your somewhat disheveled state of dress and look, glancing over you curiously. His face is still stoic with only a slight layer of concern and curiosity.
“Are you alright?”
Raldoron comes closer and watches you nearly stumble, before righting yourself. He reaches a hand outward to steady you, but you don’t need it.
“Oh yes I’ll be fine, just tired. It was a long return trip to Terra.
You shift slightly and feel the ache in your neck- wincing in pain. Raldoron’s eyes drift downward, before his expression changes.
He suddenly has trouble making eye contact with you, which is odd. Raldoron is one of the more talkative of the Astartes you know. You reach up to rub your sore neck and feel skin-
You forgot to wear something to cover the marks.
Raldoron can see the full abuse Sanguinus- his genefather - had done to you the evening before, and is awkwardly standing there like it’s eating him alive.
“…Perhaps you should rest some more, my lady.”
Raldoron is clearly trying to avoid the subject, as are you. The sound of much heavier footsteps is like a savior in the darkest of times.
“There you are, my love.”
Sanguinus approaches, looking bright and alert with a lovely smile. He looks like he slept wonderfully, his face fuller and brighter. He greets Raldoron as well, before furrowing his brow as he notices the look on Raldoron’s face and the way you are pulling at the collar of your clothes.
“Is something wrong?”
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dolliels · 3 months ago
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I’VE BECOME THE FIANCÉ OF THE VILLAIN?! pt3
synopsis: going to bed after reading a horribly self indulgent romance novel, you seemed to wake up as an extra of the series. what stories will unfold while on a mission to find a way out?
author’s note: one more chapter to go! and then a prolouge ^_^
[one] [two] [three] [four] [epilogue]
you actually preferred when leona wasn't really talking to you.
maybe seeing each other everyday for two entire months sort of softened both of you guys up, you weren't so sure when leona started actually take an interest in you as a person instead of just leveraging off of you to eat and sleep, and to hide from his family just because 'he didn't feel like going home.' compared to the scary prince of the kingdom you read in the novel, leona was just a lazy bum. you really could not bring yourself to be scared of him.
when you're not at the bookstore, it felt like he was following you everywhere. it was at a certain distance, sure, but he was still right behind you. this had been going on for weeks. actually, why is leona still living at your place?
"this book isn't at the library in the palace" leona said dropping a book on the table.
"what? daphne du maurier? I didn't think the palace would enjoy a story like that. I made sure to put educational stuff only on the shelves."
"you know, it'll be nice if you put some worthwhile books on there. you've been stocking the library the most out of everyone and they're boring as shit."
"sorry." you said quietly. it's not your fault that the books are boring, you've shelved the library once! everything else is for your body's original owner to blame!
"if you go back to the palace, then I could stock up the place with all the interesting, fun novels." you added. if you get yourself invited through, then maybe you could look for a way to go back home. you were desperate.
"say… leona- i mean your highness…" you coughed out your mistake, hoping he didn't hear you.
you poured a cup of hot tea and passed it to him, now pouring your own.
"does the name 'roselia' sound familiar to you?" you pursed your lips as you looked at him stare at the mug.
"no, not really. what are you even talking about?"
"it's nothing. I was just wondering because err… i think it's a pretty name."
leona sipped the cup of tea. most of his scars were nearly faded on his arm, minus the missing patch of skin which was slowly growing back!) which you bandaged a thick cotton pad on.
"actually– no. i do recognize the name."
your eyes shone in eagerness. "oh really?"
"yeah. we have a neighboring kingdom whose princess had that name."
yes! roselia was a princess! this means that she does in fact, exist!
"'had?' what do you mean she 'had' that name?" you asked, cupping your tea to warm your hands. autumn was coming, and the house was a lot chillier than usual. you missed the heater you had in your house back in your world.
"she died from an illness, i think. i dunno, i don't know much about her other than her name."
oh.
roselia is dead? 
wait, so how are you ever meant to go home???
all these transmigration books, the endless research, the praying, the hopes… were you meant to be here forever? is this your life now?
you sipped your tea and sighed deeply, trying to hold back you tears. you missed home.
"hey. you good?'
you looked up. "ah– im sorry, your highness. sniff "I just feel a little down today."
"you look like you're feeling down everyday."
oh, is it that noticeable?
'also, what tea is this?"
"earl grey."
"it's gross."
"you don't like earl grey?!"
sometimes, you realized you found some sort of comfort in leona kingscholar, the guy who thanklessly welcomed himself to your home. maybe the guy wasn't so bad after all. even though he won't go back to the palace, that is.
-
"your highness–"
you walked into your bedroom. after sleeping on the couch for so long, you got so sick of it you set a mattress right beside the bed and promptly told leona to sleep on the ground from now on.
leona refused and kept refusing but when you washed up at the end of the day, you saw him on the mattress, sound asleep. and you finally got to sleep in your own bed after so long. although he kept his side messy.
today, when you walked in, it was neat. and leona was nowhere to see him.
"uhhh prince leona?"
"what."
you jumped and turned around. oh, he's right there. whew.
"do you have a bag I could use?" he asked.
"huh? why?"
"I wanna take some of these books home with me."
"oh? you're finally going back home?"
"yeah. so do you have a bag?"
"I do… but I feel like you're not gonna be able to return it."
leona sighed and put the books back.
"okay. just come back to the palace to stock up."
"i can't go unless i'm requested."
"i'll request for you."
"oh.. okay!"
and then he was gone.
unsurprisingly, leona didn't have anything to take with him, since he came into your store on that very fateful night with empty pockets.
leona started living with you during the first few days you woke up in this world. he lived here throughout two months, so it was a little empty and quiet now that he wasn't here. the house felt so much bigger somehow…?
in a few days time, just like leona promised, you received a request to stock up some books for the library again. this meant you probably had to order a batch, so after some digging and researching and archiving, you made a fat list of books that you think leona would enjoy from what he read during his stay.
you frowned. why were you being so considerate of him?
actually, what was going on at all?!
by the time leona got injured from the book hunting and fighting the dragon, roselia would have found a series of letters he sent to certain people to aid in the assassination of king falena.
king falena originally died trying to save his son whom leona sent out to be killed, so he was anonymously in contact with all sorts of people.
then, when leona found out that roselia saw these letters, he would be wary of her intentions, thinking he must kill her because she will tell somebody about it. but the novel's transmigrated roselia pretended to help him so that she wouldn't die.
leona, already having a slightly altered opinions after roselia secretly helped leona heal from his injuries, hesitantly agrees to let her help him.
and so their love story would begin.
you would've known if leona was secretly sending letters, because you kept track of all the paper being used. (you have different kinds of different quality paper– you decided you never want to run a bookstore if you ever make it back home– too complicated.) and no paper was used without your knowledge.
he mostly slept and read books or followed you around, watching what you're doing.
you sighed. roselia was also dead. she died years ago, apparently, according to leona. so you had no idea how the story was going to go. it was fine at the start– roselia was not present, but leona's plan of murder were still constant, so you could easily keep track. now you felt like you truly existed in this world without any prior knowledge of help, because you had no idea what he would do next.
does leona have no more plans of being a tyrant anymore…? did they all dissipate?
you set out to order a batch of new books for both leona and your own store that afternoon.
-
delivery was taking a while, as per usual.
but once it arrived, you took it upon yourself to take a carriage to the palace as soon as possible.
the blue haired man with the long piece of paper saw you again. he was a lot nicer today.
"hello." he said, smiling.
"hi!" you replied, feeling cheerful. you hadn't realized it now, but you were unconsciously in a hurry to enter the palace as quickly as you can, wanting to take a glimpse of leona, and that oddly made you feel happy today.
"chilly today, huh?" you said, putting the books down.
"yes. and you are quite optimistic."
"i'm just in a good mood today" you replied. the weather was getting cold and you reminded yourself to dress warmer than ever before next time. this will be your first upcoming winter in this kingdom. you wonder if it's winter in your world right now.
"alright, if you say so. heading in now?"
"yup!" you carried a box as you stepped up.
"have a good day, mr…?"
"kifaji."
"well, have a good rest of the day, mr kifaji!"
you hummed to yourself as you walked down the corridors of the palace. last time, you had to carry 5 boxes full of books by yourself, but since today wasn't a day where the royal library really needed a ton of books, it was a pretty manageable box that you could carry easily into the library.
clack, clack, clack
you heard the sound of crisp dress shoes walk against the shiny marble floors. man, you're never gonna get over these floors. your house is full of creaky wooden floorboards and funky rugs everywhere (leona even questioned your taste. it's not your fault the person before you had a weird sense of choice in rugs!)
you put the box down to comfortably open the (very huge) door to the library when you heard shuffling behind.
"oh– your highness! wait- no, you don't need to carry that for me."
leona stood behind you, holding the box of books.
"it's fine. you came all the way here."
"alright…"
it was sort of weird, seeing leona. when he was living with you, he was mostly in 'commoner' attire. clothes you had stashed at the back of your closet, or new ones that you bought (from cheap stores. you weren't bothered to put him in a fancy getup)
although you did see him at the very palace, his wealth or status didn't really register to you because, well, you just recently woke up in this world and were adjusting to it and also because you were too distracted by his face. (you still think he's very handsome)
but now, seeing him, he truly did look like he was a prince. you could tell the clothes he was wearing was made from expensive fabrics. his shoes, you really liked his shoes, had a soft reflective surface that made them look elegant and chic.
as soon as you opened the door, leona carelessly strutted in and placed the box of books on one of the long tables they had placed in the middle of the library. (there are 3 of them)
you walked up to the box and opened it, taking out its contents.
"look, I got the daphne du maurier books that you really liked, your highness!"
you moved a little to the side so leona could join in on the book browsing.
you know, the more you think about it, the more you slowly consider him your friend. a friend? right? technically.
you slowly take out the books one by one telling leona every single book you've brought and what it's about. running a bookstore all day does make you read a lot.
however, leona is mostly silent. he's a quiet person in general, but he was a quieter than he usually would be. especially in a topic of conversation that honestly began with him requesting you to come and talk about it.
"say… y/n."
you look at him. you feel a little uneasy. leona rarely says your name. you're often regarded with a "hey." or a "you." or he just pushes you with his feet because he's not bothered to get up. honestly, he reminded you of your friends back in the real world. which made you appreciate him a whole lot more because while you terribly missed your friends, it was like he filled the void of what you needed to give yourself the push to research more and more about transmigration.
why do you think of him so fondly nowadays?
"yes…?"
"do you like the palace?"
you look down at the book you're currently holding, rubbing your thumb against its gritty texture of its cover. pride and prejudice. you weren't so sure if leona would ever enjoy a regency romance like this, but the way mr. darcy was a smug, prideful little bastard who did not view elizabeth as an equal, but soon came to love her and they had a nice, easy going relationship with each other. you thought it was a lot like how you and leona became 'friends' (you considered him one, you weren't sure if he did the same– why are you so awkward about this?!) but without their romance. yea, no. no romance. nope. just… friendship!
"yeah. i like the palace. who doesn't? this place is beautiful, it's like it's summer all-year round because of how warmly coloured the place is."
leona watched you look at the book.
"would you rather live in the palace, or the house you already live in?"
"hmmm." you had to think hard about this one.
"i guess… a normal person would say the palace. but i think i'd rather continue living at home. it's homey and cozy, it's special. even if it's not as big, it feels lived in and special." that was half a life. you would choose your house, but not for the reasons that you said. sure, it was comfy and nice, but it was so… ugly. especially the rugs. oh god the rugs. it was only because this was the first and only home you've lived in this world, you weren't really adjusted to learn the real estate system here.
"why'd you ask?"
"no reason. i just needed to make a decision."
leona grabbed the book away from your hands, forcing you to turn your entire body towards him when suddenly you felt a wave of heat approach your face, then your lips.
your eyes were still open in surprise, leona's calmly closed. like he had been planning to kiss you a long time ago. it felt like you were breathing a fresh breath of air, you suddenly had a carnal desire to breathe him in as you shakily lifted your arms up to hug his neck. his hand softly went to caress your head. fireworks were exploding inside of you (you weren't sure if fireworks even existed in this universe– but fireworks it was, millions of feelings traversed through you.) your eyes were closed and all your worries washed away. the only thing on your mind was how his lips subtly tasted like honey. you haven't had honey in so long and yet it was the tastiest, most desirable flavor in the world.
ultimately, you had to part lips, as both of you were running out of breath. leona's hand was still gently cupping the back of your head and you were glad he was, you felt dizzy and a little euphoric. your mind want you to calm down, but your body was rushing with so much heat that you wanted to kiss him more.
"and stop calling me your highness. i want you to call me by my name." he said in a breathy voice. you slowly nodded.
"okay. le-o-na." you mouthed his name very carefully against your lips before nearing your face against him and kissing him again.
TO BE CONTINUED...!
a.n: how we liking the series so far i feel like part two lowkey (HIGHKEY) flopped 🙈 also im just name dropping a bunch of gothic authors no idea if leona would like those types of books but since we caught him reading wuthering heights i was like why not keep a consistency
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leafostuff · 5 months ago
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Welcome to the CATS club [Ft. kep1er Chaehyun]
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Tags: Fluff, Cuddles, Comfort-ish?, Sweet talk, No beta we die like Chaehyun's Scalp
Author's note: worked on this for a while but i am proud to finally release this, make sure to tune in later for an announcement regarding my activities on the app
And have fun reading this cute fluff
=================================
“Are you sure this is the right place?”
You say to your best friend through the phone, you are confused after he calls you at 8 AM claiming he has found a way to cure your loneliness, which all he did was send you a random address to a place called “CATS” without much explanation
You were reluctant to agree but after thinking out loud, you realize that there isnt much to lose, worst case scenario you wasted an hour or so trying something new.
“Im sure bro, i had a friend of my cousin go here, 2 hours later and he never felt more relaxed” he speaks with confidence and without a choice you sigh in defeat
“Ok, whatever” you say, saying a quick goodbye before ending the call, you look at the place: quite the average look for a morning club, you can see from the outside people having casual talks, some laughing and overall having a good time,
As you get inside the place you hear a ding from the doorbell above you, soon after hearing a feminine voice saying “Hey, come here”.
Locating the origin of the voice it comes from the counter at the other side of the lobby, a girl around her early twenties, close to your age waves at you, signaling you to walk toward her
“Welcome, it's always a treat to see a new face coming here, what's your name” she asks, her voice is quite soft yet energetic.
“Oh, i'm Lee Jihoon, nice to meet you ms…” you say, reaching your hand for a handshake, she simply laughs and shakes your hand back
“Chaehyun, Kim Chaehyun” she exclaims, smiling lightly at you before she continues to talk “Now then: how did you find out about our club?” She asks
“Oh, a good friend of mine recommended me this place” you answer “i must say though: for a club that calls itself ‘CATS’, there isnt a lot of cats going around here, are they like sleeping or something” you say, trying to see if you miss any however as you look back at Chaehyun she looks quite puzzled
“Why would there be any animals here?”
“This is a cat cafe, no?”
Your question make her surprised for a second but soon after she begins to giggle, you are not sure if you said something dumb.
“I guess your friend didn't tell you when he recommended this place didn't he” she asks, you are not sure what to respond but she continues, “CATS is an acronym for ‘Club against touch starvation’” she explains but you are still confused.
“Club Against touch starvation?”
“Basically: this place is a cuddle club” she says cheerfully as everything makes more sense now, looking around again you notice how people are holding hands, laying their head on someone's, some even hugging each other as you could feel yourself getting more and more uncomfortable
“Oh…i didnt turn turn you off from the idea, didnt i?” She asks, tilting her head as she looks worried, it may be part of her job to ask however her eyes genuinely looked like it was real.
“No no, its not that…its just”
“Not what you were expecting?” She asks as you nodded, “Well makes sense, our club name is easily confused, and i guess your friend didnt know” she added, you sighed as this logic did seem sound considering your best friend didn't really explain to you about the club itself, as you were starting to turn away and walk out of the club, Chaehyun quickly moved in front of you.
“i have an idea” She exclaimed, “I will have today for you completely on the house, i will show you around, you just try to soak in the vibe of the place and after this you will make your decision about this club? I have a feeling you will really like it here” she explains
You couldn't lie to yourself that even though this idea seemed completely off from what you expected when you got in here, you were curious about this place now, more than before, so as you look around, you slowly nod as Chaehyun eyes shine at your response
“Great!!, follow me will you?” she said as you happily joined her, throughout the tour she showed you all of the places you need to know, from the lobby to the cafe itself, the place is full of sofas where people are all cuddled up with each other (“just know that if you are not comfortable with cuddling you can always sit on the barstools” she says, she knows you are still nervous).
“Hey, you're there? You look like zoned out for a sec there” Chaehyun’s voice gets you out of your inner monologue.
“yeah yeah i am here, is the tour over?” You ask
“Almost, the only thing left is the quiet rooms” she says, pointing toward them. “Those rooms are mostly used for people that feel uncomfortable cuddling in public, or just some people who wants to nap” she adds
“This is actually is my favourite part of the club, as i go there to nap during my breaks” she jokingly says, letting herself release a quick laugh as from her pocket she takes out a key and opens one of the doors, “Lets go in?”
You both head inside, the room itself isn't that big, just enough for a double mattress and 2 couches, “Wow… i got to say, this place is quite impressive” you say, now sitting on the couch as Chaehyun finds her spot on the mattress.
“I know, right? I am actually one of the Co founders of the place” she says, catching you off guard
“You are joking right?”
“Dead serious, my best friend is the owner of the club, and i am the first one who joined her business” she explains, her position now switches from her sitting on the bed to now lying front down, looking at you with a peaceful yet still sweet smile
A bit nervous, you ask, “why are looking me like that”
“Sorry sorry its just like…what are you doing here?” She responds with a question
“Excuse me?”
“I mean, people come here because feel depressed, lonely or just…need someone to hug her, but from the 30 or so minutes that i know, you seem like someone who doesn't really need this place” she explains, you can see from her face she is trying to navigate that question without offending you.
“Well, my friend is the one who suggested me this place, you can always ask him” you respond, jokingly
“Well, he must've suggested this place for a reason, no? So something must go on in your life”
You stay quiet for a moment as the moment became more serious even Chaehyun's face changed from cheerful yo to worried, not sure what to say but soon you continue talking
“I mean…it has been a while since that happened but i did break up with my ex 4 months ago” you explain, just remembering this makes your heart ache again.
“I see…makes sense why your friend told you to come here” Chaehyun says
“I dont know, i doubt that i am feeling sad just because of that” you respond however she simply sighed before she continues to talk
“Well you see, while breakup itself may have not been affecting you, it is something important when it comes to touch deprivation, have you two used to cuddle a lot?” She asks as you respond with a simple nod, “so your body does miss the physical touch you had" she adds
“Hmm…that makes sense, and its not like i hug others” you add, thinking about her explanation
“You see, for a lot of people, the idea of being hugged or even being touched by someone that isnt your partner is inappropriate or even weird…but not here” she explains, now patting the side of her signaling you to sit as hesitantly you get up from the couch and move to the mattress near her, getting up and now sitting near you
“In this club we believe that physical touch is the best way to heal from the life experience, if its a breakup with your special one or a loss of a family member” Chaehyun adds, you now notice that while she was talking, her hand inched slowly toward you before stopping near your hand while her eyes directly staring at yours, as if telepathically she asks ‘Can i?’
Your heartbeat starts to race while your cheeks reveal a shade of pink, but you manage to take a deep breath and nod in agreement, Chaehyun smiles lightly at your response.
“And if you feel uncomfortable just say and I'll stop, okay?”
“Got it” you answer, her hand now intertwining with yours, “I am just starting with this ok?” she says, now her thumb rubbing on the skin of your palm.
“You can also rub mine if you want” you oblige as your thumb joins her, “just like that hehe…yeah” she giggles, try to make some form of eye contact with you but your too nervous so the best you can do is look down.
“This first step is good for people who have been touch deprived for a while” she adds
“You really…know your way about this stuff don't you?” You ask, it isn't too weird, right? You are already feeling awkward by the situation, so this would turn it up to 11.
“Yeah haha” she chuckles, now its her turn to blush, “this is actually my specialty In this place, so knowing about all of this stuff is kind of my job”
“What do you mean?” You ask
“Well, for a lot of people, this type of club is embarrassing for the first time, so I am there to ease people into the concept,” Chaehyun explains, now her thumb doing little drawings on the back of your hand instead of just rubbing it.
“Oh…that's cool” you sheepishly hum, looking away, your hand holding mate noticed you as she giggles lightly.
“You are doing very well Jihoon, i am surprised you already getting comfortable as someone who just came here 30 minutes ago” Chaehyun says, her left hand now grabbing your left hand, mirroring the right hand in rubbing your skin as you could feel the heat of your cheeks rising higher and higher.
“Would you like to go to the next step?” She asks
“There is a next step?”
“Only if you are comfortable, it's nothing drastic” she reminds, nod in response as her smiles grow larger, as her palms leave your own, now travelling across your arms, wrists to shoulder
You are a blushing mess right now, her touch too soft for you to handle thinking straight, you could swear your heart rate is on 200. “it feels good…” but you dont mind, if everything you wont mind if it could last forever.
“I'm happy, you can do the same to me” you oblige and follow her movements, time might as well pass like a snail, the moment is serene, pure even. The only indicator that you know time did not stop is that you could feel both of you falling into the mattress, both lying facing each other as your hands still moved around the arms.
Eventually you become bolder as you ask “Can…i hug you?”, Chaehyun face is surprised but quickly returns to her default smile.
“Of course, let me scoot closer, ok?” Chaehyun says, now inching closer toward you, practically you are at a nose length of each other as she now lets her arms wrap around you.
You could almost instantly feel how the stress that built up in your body starts to disappear as by instinct your head finds its rest on her shoulder.
“You’re so exhausted baby, you really need this don't you?” was that a pet name? Eh you are too tired to think, it's probably part of her job and honestly, who cares? so instead just let your arms go behind her back and let yourself melt into the embrace
“Mmm” you lightly nod, you don't even have the energy to talk from how soft you feel right now, Chaehyun’s right hand gently rake your hair while her other hand slowly scratches your back
You slowly raise your head, slowly looking at Chaehyun, her eyes mirorr her mouth in her bright smile while your timid eyes looking directly into hers, a small giggle comes as she asks, “i think you want to stay like this for a little more, don't you?”.
Even though your brain might as well be mush from how soft her entire body is, wrapped around yours and letting you feel her warmth surrounding you, you have enough energy to mumble words of agreement as her hands pull your head back into her neck
“Good, just let yourself enjoy it”
=================================
“So?”
“So what?”
“For the first time, what do you think?” Chaehyun asks, both of you out of the silence room, looking at your watch you see that only 2 hours has passed since you got inside there however it might as well be the entire day by how relaxed you feel.
“It's good, honestly it felt really good, i get what you meant when you said i would like it here,” you answer, still surprised that you actually were just cuddling someone for that long of a time.
“Really? I'm glad that you had fun,” she exclaims, her eyes shining brightly, eventually the both of you are back at the same counter where you met the girl in front of you. “So I will see you next week?”
“Next week?” You ask, a bit confused
“Of course, sessions like those are perks of new club members, and you did say you will join the club in the quiet”
“Yeah…i guess i did” you say awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck while the both of you share a laugh
“So what do you say? Are you joining the club officially?” She asks now, as you remember how up until now you never felt more happy than now, you have your answer in mind.
“Yeah, why not, it will probably be fun” you say as Chaehyun's face brightens up from excitement.
“Great, i am so happy you decided to join” she says, giving you a high five and a small hug, “I will see you next week then” she adds as you wave goodbye, walking out of the club, but not before looking back, seeing the smiling girl returning the waving, the rather chill and relaxed atmosphere as you think to yourself.
“I think I am gonna enjoy it here”
=================================
Posted on June 27th 2024
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lovedrruunk · 8 months ago
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‘Take ur heart!
Venture (Overwatch) x reader
Authors note!!! (¬‿¬ ); (UPDATE: PLEASE GO READ MY OTHER POSTS INSTEAD CUZ I LITERALLY HATEE THIS ONE AHHHH THE OTHERS R SM BETTER I SWEAR!! IM STILL LEARNING!!!) First fic ever (and last knowing me!) and ofc it’s overwatch related…. I’ve literally never written a fanfic before so pls give me feedback!! I feel like it’s a bit boring just cuz we haven’t learned a lot abt them yet so it’s very surface lvl!!
“I got this one while digging in Acropolis! And this one from a site in Giza!” They said enthusiastically pointing to some scars on their forearm.
You and your new colleague, which you now know goes by Venture, had met on the rooftop of your work building about an hour ago when you both had coincidentally needed some fresh air. You hadn't even been there for more than 5 minutes before you heard the door to the rooftop open. Despite having just met, you found yourself immediately drawn to their easygoing nature. They spoke with a lightness and joy that seemed contagious and you couldn’t help but be caught hook line and sinker.
“And this one—" they grinned awkwardly, pointing to the chip in their front teeth. “This um…” They lowered their finger, looking away a bit embarrassed. “It was nothing.”
You chuckled at how much of a bad liar they were and as curious as you were, you didn't want to pry into anything that might make them uncomfortable, so you decided to swiftly take the attention off it.
"How'd you get this one?" you reach out to take their hand pointing to a deep scar you had noticed on their thumb.
"Oh I got that one fighting a monkey for a rock in Suravasa." they shrugged and you couldn't help but laugh at how casual they were.
"Scary!"
"Nah, just annoying! Little dude didn't know what he had coming... I may have been scathed but I won the war!"
You shook your head in amusement at their nonchalant attitude towards what sounded like a crazy life and as you leaned against the railing you noticed yourself admiring them more and more.
After a bit of rambling Venture seemed to have come back to their senses stopping abruptly. They took a second to look at you closely noticing how you were genuinely interested. You weren't still there out of pity or asking questions for conversations sake, you genuinely liked listening to them talk which Venture had realized pretty early on that in professions like theirs, was pretty rare. They couldn't help but feel flustered under your gaze, quickly trying to put the attention off of them and on to you.
"Well what about you? Any things you're passionate about?"
As the conversation flowed, you found yourself sharing stories of your own, although they were average compared to theirs. Nevertheless, they listened with genuine interest, nodding along and occasionally butting in with words of praise or curiosity.
Before you knew it, the sun had begun to set and the evening breeze was ruffling your hair as you stood in silence, content with each other's company.
"I bit a rock."
"...hah?"
"I bit a rock... and it chipped my tooth."
"..."
(* ^ ω ^)
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nyanbin · 2 months ago
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ღ infrunami — p.wb
10. papa's tteokbokkiria
꒰ EPISODE LENGTH ꒱ 3.1k words
꒰ AUTHOR’S NOTE ꒱ texts + tweets at the end! practically wrote a whole ass oneshot fic again cus im insane but theres more yn/wonbin interactions in this one i promise ^_^
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𖦹 JUN. 14 (YEAR 1, SPRING) — 5:48 PM
THE YEARLY SPRING FESTIVAL AT SM UNIVERSITY takes place right before the beginning of the finals period of the spring semester, acting as a moment of respite and fun for students before the inevitable days of rigorous studying. It was your first year attending the festival as a student at the university, but you had sometimes visited when you were in high school, oftentimes with Eunseok in tow, so you were already somewhat familiar with how it worked and what kinds of things you could do there.
Unfortunately, in your case, you haven’t yet been able to experience the festivities, because you’d headed straight to the tteokbokki stand as soon as you’d arrived. The festival had already  been in full swing by the time you had gotten there with Shotaro and Eunseok, on account of all of your last classes of the day being in a building on the other side of campus. But while you actually did have just a little bit of time to look around before your shift, the two boys were oddly eager to send you off, reasoning that you should get there early so that Seunghan wouldn’t get in trouble. (As if they actually cared that much if he did.)
So, here you were, standing under the canopy tent of the photography club’s tteokbokki booth, longingly watching the passersby and listening to the lively music that you could hear playing from every corner of the festival. The girls who were on shift before you had eagerly left as soon as they'd finished explaining everything you needed to know about running the booth, and you were still waiting on Sohee to get there, so you were ultimately left to your own devices.
In the short time since you had arrived, there hadn’t been any customers, which you figured was because most people were currently at the amphitheater nearby watching the music performances. Once those ended, though, you anticipated that there would be a lot more people coming by. As you looked around for something to keep yourself busy in the meantime, you noticed that there were only a few of the canned drinks that the booth was also selling left at the front, so you decided to start by restocking those.
While hunched over the cooler and rummaging for the drinks, you hear the rustle of the tent flap moving aside behind you and assume it’s Sohee who had finally come to help you on the shift. You turn around to greet him, cans gathered in your arms, but his name dies in your throat when you make eye contact with Wonbin instead, who freezes while still ducked halfway underneath the tent. A dry laugh escapes you, and you already feel the aggravation rewiring your brain as if seeing Wonbin’s face had flipped the on-switch.
“What are you doing here?” you snark, narrowing your eyes at Wonbin, who looks to be as taken aback as you are.
He hesitates before stepping inside all the way, glancing around and then back at you. He’s stood firm on the opposite side of the tent as he crosses his arms. “I could say the same for you. Didn’t take you to be much of a photographer.”
You scoff. “I’m not in this club. Seunghan asked me to fill in for him.” While turning away from him to finish restocking the drinks, you continue, “You know if you wanna buy something, you have to go in front of the counter, not behind it, right?” 
”I’m not here to buy something,” he snaps, quick to react to your condescending tone. “Sohee… asked me to come here…” 
You turn to look at him as he suddenly sighs, seeming to realize something as he runs a hand through his hair. “For what?” you ask incredulously. “To work here?”
At his slow, weary nod, it dawns on you, too: this was a set-up. 
Immediately wanting out of this situation, you debated whether or not to call the two instigators and tell them to get their asses over here, but you decided that it was no use. If they had planned this, there was no way Seunghan and Sohee would come back to relieve you of your jobs. You imagined the two of them were frolicking around the festival at this very moment, their phones conveniently on do not disturb.
Resigned, you shake your head in disbelief, turning around to close the cooler with a little more force than needed. “Those idiots…”
You plant your hands on your hips, chewing on your lip, now beginning to dread the next two hours you’d have to spend with the boy you had been at odds with the past few weeks. You glance sideways at the culprit, who was currently peering curiously at the trays of tteokbokki. Wonbin had still not stepped that much away from the other side of the tent, as if he would die if he came within a five-foot radius of you. (Which, in truth, was definitely possible.)
After massaging your temples with a deep exhale, you speak up first. “Listen, I’m sure you’re absolutely loving this situation as much as I am, but I don’t wanna make these next two hours harder than they need to be. So let’s just get through this without fucking anything up, okay?”
Wonbin thinks about your words for a moment with his tongue in his cheek, as if trying to find a way to sneak in a taunting remark, but he instead shrugs as he says, “Fine by me.”
Thus, the first half hour or so of your cruel and unusual punishment mostly consisted of the two of you trying your best to avoid the other in the small space of the canopy tent. Business was still slow, so much time was spent sitting in the folding chairs or idly stirring the tteokbokki, trying to pay no mind to the other person. The only time a word would come out of either of your mouths was when a customer stopped by, attitude all of a sudden all cheerful as if the hostility radiating off the both of you wasn’t evident moments before. 
Once the performances at the amphitheater ended, though, this determination to not work with each other only proved to be detrimental. As you had anticipated earlier, many of the people filing back into the festival after the performances were hungry and looking for something to eat, resulting in a rush of customers at the tteokbokki stand. 
At first, the two of you still refused to properly communicate with each other. But with the way you were each handling the customers on your own, one by one, it quickly became disorienting, as the two of you frantically moved around each other, often getting confused on who had paid already or who was still waiting for something. It was obvious the two of you weren’t gonna last long if you kept this up; so, in a hurry to make things more efficient, you grab Wonbin by the shoulders, pushing him in front of the box of money acting as the cash register.
“You take care of that,” you say while moving to place yourself in front of the trays of tteokbokki, “and I’ll take care of this.” You only look at him briefly, tilting your head as if to say ‘Understand?’, before returning your focus back to the customer in front of you. Wonbin opens his mouth to argue, but decides against it with a shake of his head when he looks back at the growing line of customers.
Eventually, with this system, the two of you seemed to fall into a certain rhythm. Wonbin would take the orders, relaying them to you, and you would serve the food. Every now and then, you would take turns to restock as needed. Simple as that. Unsurprisingly, the rush was infinitely easier to handle now that you and Wonbin were working with each other rather than against each other.
After about an hour into your shift, the constant stream of customers had finally died down and you could finally take a breather. You plopped down into one of the folding chairs while dabbing at the small beads of sweat forming on your forehead from having to stand around the simmering trays of tteokbokki for so long. You slouched into your seat, shutting your eyes and pulling at your collar for some ventilation.
“Here,” you hear a voice say from above you. You open one eye to see Wonbin standing above you, arm outstretched and holding an ice-cold bottle of water towards you. Your stare shifts between the bottle and his face, baffled, before sitting up and hesitantly taking the bottle into your hands.
“Thanks,” you mutter, before taking a nice, long swig. 
Wonbin leans his weight on the table next to him, taking a drink out of his own water bottle. He clears his throat before asking, “Do you notice when you do that voice? Or is it, like, subconscious?”
“What?” You narrow your eyes at him. “What voice?”
“Like a… a customer service voice? When you’re talking to them, your voice kinda like… goes up an octave.” With a sly smile, he begins to mimic your voice in falsetto, the pitch raising an extra note at the end of each sentence. 
“Ugh,” you groan, rolling your eyes at him. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“I mean, you suffered through it, didn’t you?”
“Oh, I suffered, alright.”
You expect him to bite back with another taunt, but he relents, just letting out a short, amused laugh, one corner of his mouth lifting in a toothy smirk. You huff, glancing off to the side while wrinkling your eyebrows in annoyance, but, for whatever reason, you realized you didn’t feel as vexed as you wanted to seem. 
Behind Wonbin, you notice a customer walking up to the table. You quickly stood up to go help her on your own, relieved to not have to entertain Wonbin’s antics anymore. 
The customer was an older lady who seemed to be a visitor from off-campus. Already quite used to it at this point, you quickly take her order (during which you realized Wonbin was right about your “customer service voice”) and hand her her food. But instead of leaving, the woman just stands there looking down into the cup with a frown. You raise your eyebrows slightly as she says, “Is this all you’re gonna give me?”
“Sorry?”
“Look, at how much you put in here!” She tilts the cup towards you, jabbing a pointer finger at it. “I could barely feed an ant with this!”
You sigh inwardly, your hopes of not having to deal with any irrational customers here having been dashed. “Sorry, ma’am, but this is the same amount we give everybody.” 
“Well, for the amount I paid, you should be giving more! What is this, huh? A scam?”
Wonbin had turned his attention to the commotion as soon as he heard the woman complain. He was off to the side busying himself with the supplies, glancing at you every now and then as the situation unfolded. When he notices it was only escalating, though, and the woman continues to raise her voice at you, Wonbin decides to step in. “We could get you a new serving, if you like?” he offers.
The woman angrily waves her hand in dismissal. “Just so you could, what, charge me extra for it? Do you think I’m stupid?!”
“There’s no need to yell…” he murmurs in response, earning him a sharp glare from the woman.  You nudge his leg with your foot, signaling to him that it was okay, you had this under control, but he just stays put where he is.
“Ma’am, no one’s trying to scam you here,” you say as softly as you can manage. “If you really don’t want us to replace it, we can give you a refund and you can leave.”
She scowls even more, and you thought if she kept this up the frown would be permanently etched onto her face. “Ugh, you young people are so rude nowadays! Here, just take it back!”
All of a sudden, the woman flings the cup of tteokbokki at you, its trajectory headed straight for the middle of your shirt. Wonbin is quick to react, though, and is able to pull you back by the arm before it hits you, causing the paper cup to fall to the ground instead. Unluckily, some of the sauce still manages to get on your jeans and your shoes, and you wince slightly when you feel its heat seep through your clothes.
The woman clicks her tongue in contempt, looking you guys up and down with another scowl. She then storms off, likely off to find another booth and terrorize the next poor unpaid college student working there.
Wonbin watches her go, then says, indignation lacing his voice, “Holy shit. What the hell was her problem?” He looks down at you, only to realize his hand is still clinging to your forearm. He hurriedly detaches himself from you, suddenly interested in the empty wall of the tent as he sheepishly scratches the nape of his neck.
His awkwardness goes unnoticed by you as you pinch at your jeans to inspect the stain. With a sigh, you say to Wonbin, completely deadpan, “Wow. You saved my life, thanks.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he laughs in response as he moves to the extra supplies to grab a clean towel, then dousing it with water from his bottle. When he turns back to you, you’re crouched by the spill on the ground, picking up the stray pieces of rice cake with a paper towel.
“Here,” he says, handing the damp towel to you to wipe the stain on your clothes. You thank him as you stand, watching him as he takes over cleaning the mess on the ground.
“You’re, uh, good though, right?” Wonbin continues.
“Yeah. It’s fine,” you answer with a shrug. “Though, I will say I’m kinda disappointed you didn’t fight her in my honor like a gentleman.”
“Did you want me to punch an old lady in the face or something?”
“C’mon, she wasn’t that old.”
Wonbin had finished cleaning and disposing of the mess, and was now leaning back on the table behind him, weight shifted to his arms, studying you as you continued fervently wiping on the stain on your jeans and shoes. With an amused huff, he replies, “God, do you seriously hate me so much that you’re siding with the lady who just threw tteokbokki in your face over me?”
You know he doesn’t mean it all too seriously, but his words have you contemplating these past few weeks in retrospect. He clearly didn’t know it, but, deep down, you knew there wasn’t a bone in your body that actually hated him. In fact, it was likely because, despite living (and fighting) with him for a while now, you still felt like you didn’t know him well enough to actually have it out for him. With this in mind, it occurred to you that this stupid scheme the other boys had planned had worked. And you’d hate to prove them right, but you resolved to swallow your pride and try to be mature for once.
After all, there’s one thing you (begrudgingly) knew to be true: Park Wonbin was still someone you wanted to know.
“Hey…” you begin, still mindlessly wiping at the stain, which at this point wasn’t going to get any less noticeable. “You know I don't actually hate you, right?”  Your admission catches Wonbin off-guard. He raises his eyebrows slightly, unsure of where this was leading. 
“Uh-huh…” he says skeptically.
“No, I’m being for real! Y’know, when I first met you guys at the café and I figured out you guys were gonna be my new roommates, the one thing I wanted was for you guys to like me. But you… you were just so distant, and cold, and mysterious, and—”
“Okay, okay. I get it,” Wonbin interjects, hands raised in surrender.
“I guess I just got frustrated because we didn’t immediately get along as well as I’d hoped, and it just sorta blew up in my face— in both our faces. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you… I’m sorry.”
Wonbin doesn’t respond at first, gaze directed downwards and his face expressionless as if he hadn’t heard a single word you’d said. You feel the heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment, ready to take back your apology and replace it with another typically spiteful remark. But then he exhales, returning his gaze to you as he runs a hand through his hair.
“No, you— you shouldn’t apologize. It’s my fault. I was kind of a douchebag,” he admits, picking at his nails in uncertainty. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like the only way you could get through to me was by… y’know…” He waves his hand arbitrarily in place of having to describe the past few weeks of constant bickering and making passive-aggressive jabs at each other.
“I mean, it kinda worked, didn’t it? I feel like we exchanged more words in that argument we had yesterday over toothpaste than the entire first two weeks we knew each other.”
He lets out a hollow laugh. “Mm, guess it did.”
Amidst the bustle of people and the faint music heard from outside the booth, a silence settles between the two of you. It was a kind of silence you weren’t used to with Wonbin, so different from the typical tense, heavy silences you were often subjected to when you were alone with him. Nonetheless, the two of you basked in it as you watched people pass by, chattering and laughing amongst their friends. The sun was beginning to set, and the lampposts lined across the pavement were starting to flicker to life, bathing the festival in a soft, warm glow. It occurred to you that you still had a little under an hour to go stuck working at this booth, but, right now, it didn’t seem so bad.
Wonbin is the first to break the silence, saying, “I saw some people selling bingsu on the way here. I’ve practically been thinking about it this whole time.” He pauses to choose his next words carefully. “If you're not doing anything after this, do you maybe wanna… come with? When we’re done?”
You pretended to contemplate it for a little bit, tapping your finger on your chin. “Hmmm… sure,” you finally reply. “You’re buying, though.”
“Fine,” he yields. “But maybe you should get a change of clothes before we go. You sorta reek of tteokbokki.”
You push at his shoulder with an exasperated groan as the corners of his mouth lift to form a familiar teasing smile. “Oh, screw you, Wonbin.”
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꒰ AUTHOR’S NOTE ꒱ finally out of their blatantly despising each other era yayyyy 🥳 also for reference 25,000₩ is around 19$ and 2000₩ is around 1.50$ LOL
꒰ TAGLIST ꒱ open! leave an ask or comment to be added :) (strikethrough = can’t be tagged)
@parkwonbinie @icyona @yoursyuno @onlyhyunjin @naviiy @eepiestgirl @jvngw0nlvr @i03jae @started-with-f-ends-with-uck @annswwa @secretiny @pxnklover @yipyipmorals @mumeimei @planethyuka @soheendo @film-sea @suzayaaa @molensworld @revehosh @winuvs @wonychu @shoberi @nujeskz @swagpersonthings @byeonwooseokabs @5telephones @gyehyeonist @snowyseungs @pinklemonade34 @bunni @fae-renjun @enhacolor @seunghancore @taroddori @kyusqult @babigriin @sngj08 @cupidslovearrows @gacktsa @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @seokkiez @dearestjake @renjuneoo @tami1992x
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iwritefandomimagines · 7 days ago
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DRIVING LESSONS — JESS MARIANO
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based on a request
masterlist
pairing: jess mariano x reader
description: you should’ve known that asking jess to teach you to drive would be a mistake if you actually wanted to learn to drive.
warnings: swearing. other than that just flirty teasy jess mariano which is my fav thing.
author’s note: thanks for this request eeeek i love it so much im sorry it took so long to get out. i hope you enjoy! it’s pretty short but short n sweet !
———
“Y’know, I should be charging you for this.”
You rolled your eyes, hands firmly on the steering wheel as you turned briefly to shoot Jess a stern glare, “We only just got in the car, Mariano.”
“You’re right, I’d charge by the hour. We’ll see how you go,” he teased, before one-by-one explaining the mechanisms of the car that you needed to know to get started, “Think your pretty little brain can remember all that?”
You scoffed, “My pretty little brain can handle it just fine. Might wanna tone down the condescension, big guy.”
“I have been working out, I’m glad you’ve noticed,” he flexed his arms for a moment and licked his lips as you rolled your eyes, “Big, huh?”
With a shake of your head, you pressed your palms against the steering wheel almost exasperatedly, “Your ego is, yeah.”
Jess just smirked, lowering his arms and folding them across his chest.
He looked out at the empty parking lot surrounding you for a moment and then back across at you, “You’re cute when you’re pissed off with me.”
“Are you going to teach me to drive or just flirt with me, Jess?”
He quirked his eyebrow, “Men can multitask too you know? See, while you juggle learning to drive and glancing over to ogle at me, I can teach you to drive and make you blush.”
Before you could stop yourself you glanced up at the rear view mirror, catching sight of the fact that he wasn’t lying — your face was stained a deep crimson.
“Again, surprised you can fit in the car with the size of your ego,” you mumbled, eyes on the parking lot again as you avoided meeting his.
He laughed, “Or my big arms, huh?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most annoying person on the planet?” you huffed, narrowing your eyes at him as amusement continued to spread across his features.
He contorted his face into an expression of mock horror, “Me? Never! Most intelligent, sure. Most handsome, maybe. Annoying? Doesn’t ring a bell.”
You pulled the handbrake and switched off the engine completely now, hands still gripping the wheel as you shifted your body to look at him fully.
Your expression was challenging him.
You were getting absolutely nowhere, and the flustered feeling flitting through your body at every moment of this conversation wouldn’t help even if he was multitasking.
“Shall we just save the lessons for another day? I’ve had a long day anyway,” you frowned, heaving in a deep sigh as he shook his head dramatically.
His brows had raised to give off the look of an unimpressed school teacher, tutting as he crossed his arms, “Giving up so easily? My, my, Y/N, here I thought you were resilient.”
“I put up with you on a regular basis, Mariano, I’d say I’m pretty fuckin’ resilient alright,” you huffed, growing only more irritated by his ever present smirk, “I’m not driving another inch right now.”
“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, leaning to open the car door and get out, which left you scowling.
You were so flustered you’d entirely forgotten that he’d driven you out to the empty parking lot you were currently sat in, and he was getting out to switch sides with you.
“I know you like me, babe, but I can’t sit on your lap to drive you home,” he teased as he rounded the front of the car, opening your door, “You gettin’ out or do you just wanna waste time so you can stay in my company?”
You scoffed, “Like you’re just going to drop me home. Fifty bucks says you drive us to the diner so you can loiter ‘round me all evening.”
“Fifty bucks, hey?”
“Oh get lost, Mariano.”
It was his turn to scoff now, “Like that’s what you want. You wish I’d loiter around you.”
You stepped out of the car with a shake of your head, your arm brushing against his as you slipped past to walk around to the passengers seat.
You tried to ignore the jolt of electricity in your veins at the contact, but you could tell that he’d noticed your briefly widened eyes.
The smirk on his face only grew.
“Home it is,” Jess feigned a sad sigh, “I’ll go piss Luke off and eat my body weight in fries all alone.”
“Who’s desperate for whose company now, huh?”
Jess shrugged, a teasing tight-lipped smile on his face, “Oh, still you. I’m just saving you from having to get all red faced and stuttery when you beg me to come inside when I drop you home.”
“You wish.”
“No, I know. But like I say, I’m a gentleman.”
You nudged his shoulder. “Oh sure. Such a gentleman you can’t even actually tell me you like me — which you so blatantly do — and choose good old fashioned teasing instead.”
He looked offended for a moment, turning to face you and leaning against the steering wheel with a pout, “Am I that transparent? No shit, Sherlock. It’s called flirting and as we’ve established it’s reciprocated.”
“Well at what point are you going to do something about it?”
Jess tutted, “At what point are you going to do something about it?”
You sat silently for a moment, completely still except for both of your eyes flitting between each other’s eyes and lips.
“Fine, I concede,” Jess raised his hands up in surrender, shaking his head, “But only because I think I might pass out if I don’t kiss you right now.”
You smirked, leaning forward for a moment, “Oh, don’t tempt me to reject you with a promise of temporary peace.”
“You wouldn’t dream of it,” he licked his lips, hand reaching up to curl around your chin, “Not when you feel the exact same, huh?”
You drew in a sharp breath, the touch of his hand pricking goosebumps on your skin.
Obviously he was right, and there was no way you could handle going even another second without kissing him.
You leaned into his touch, lips meeting his with the urgency of all of the pent up passion of just how long you’d been waiting to kiss him.
The console between you was a frustrating obstacle, but one you were both more than happy to deal with in this moment.
A few minutes of frantic kisses and sweet nothings later, you finally pulled back and Jess readied himself to start the car almost immediately, biting his lip to hide the smirk returning.
“No offence, Jess, but I think I should get a real teacher if I actually want to learn to drive,” you bit your lip, watching him laugh.
He shrugged, “No, I get it. Hopefully your next teacher isn’t so ruggedly and distractingly handsome so you can focus.”
“Ruggedly handsome?” you scoffed, “And it’s you who was distracted, sir. What was it you said… you might pass out if you didn’t kiss me?”
He huffed in surrender, “Aren’t you just lucky your dream guy is such a romantic poet?”
“Sure,” you snorted, “A pleasure to be your muse.”
He leaned over to kiss the corner of your lips once more, a small gesture that sent your stomach aflutter with butterflies.
It felt almost reassuring — like he was asserting that this wasn’t just him being a horny teenager wanting to make out with you, but that he had actual feelings.
“Back to your castle, princess?” he joked, immediately wondering whether he was pushing his luck even though he was teasknf, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. We’ll go to Luke’s.”
You hummed, shaking your head for a moment as he turned to narrow his eyes at you before pulling out of the lot.
“I’m not making out with your uncle watching, you perv,” you rolled your eyes with a small laugh, “Let’s go to my place.”
His grin widened again, his foot on the ignition and his eyes on the road immediately.
“Your wish is my command.”
———
thanks so much for reading! as always, please let me know what you think <3 i hope you enjoyed — and if you want to read more of my stuff, here’s my masterlist
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taintedcigs · 1 year ago
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER ONE: BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF CRIMES
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✦ summary: in which you return to hawkins to attend your best friend nancy's wedding, facing the problems you left behind, and the one person you abandoned; eddie munson. (wc: 9.4k+)
✦ warnings — ANGSTANGSTANGST, pining and slowburn, reuniting <33, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic relationship, reader is sad and feels guilty. kinda mean eddie but not rlly.
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — okay so its finally HERE. im SOOO EXCITED for u guys to read it!! i have tried to proof-read this a lot but my mind is fuzzy so ignore all mistakes!! if u need some stuff to listen to while reading this long ass chapter or the songs mentioned in it u can check out the playlist !! hope yall enjoy it mwah &lt;3
series masterlist | series playlist
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I'm a cold heartbreaker Fit to burn and I'll rip your heart in two
The sound coming from your slightly jammed stereo while the rain gently pattered on the roof of your car could’ve been heavenly. 
If only it weren’t the roads of Hawkins that you were travelling in. Five years that had passed were seemingly nothing when you recognized the familiar streets and the infamous forest, heart skipping a beat when you finally arrived on Maple Street. 
The cars parked just outside of the Wheeler House were enough to give you anxiety, especially when your eyes spotted that van. His van. Why did he still have it? Wasn’t he a rich rock star by now? There was an unnecessary bitter taste in your throat, and your gaze was stuck on the van now, gulping physically as you tried to ignore those guilty feelings bubbling up inside of you. Mind quick to revel in all those memories you had with him in that stupid vehicle.
5 YEARS AGO.
“Hurry!” You whisper-yelled, still looking around, Eddie was right behind you, his tongue darting out of his mouth as it always did when he was focused, running like hell as his calloused hands harshly gripped the tequila bottle that you two had just stolen.
The angry voice of the shop’s owner had long disappeared by now, but you could never be too careful. When you finally got close to his van, you stopped Eddie immediately. “Behind you!” You yelled in a fake-worried voice, causing Eddie to start sprinting forward toward the car.
When he noticed you not following and breaking into laughter, his worried face eased as he realized your little prank, giving you a humorless laugh as he started sprinting towards you.
You squealed when he grabbed you by your waist, lifting you off in one swift motion, spinning you around as your giggles filled the space.
Eddie’s grin faltered quickly. “I hate you,” He mocked in a serious tone.
 “I’m sorry, but I just love that worried look on your face. And, oh god, that sprint! You know what you should be?” You asked, a smirk forming on your lips as you waited for him to fall into your trap.
Eddie sighed exhaustedly, a grin plastered on his face, he put you down.
You squealed happily as he did so, “A... Tiger!” You mimicked pompoms with your hands as you tried to re-do your cheer routine, chanting after Eddie.
He playfully nudged your shoulders, “Oh, Pinky... You are on a roll today, huh?” He asked, the nickname rolled off his tongue so sweetly. It was a stupid fucking name, sure, but you loved it. It somehow stuck, the entire town calling you Pinky ever since you pronounced ‘Pinky Promise’ wrong once and your parents funnily referred to you by it.
You nodded, giggling, stealing the bottle from his hands, and chugging a sip. “This was a great idea.” You hummed, pointing to the bottle, the bitter taste burning your throat, almost coughing with how big of a chug you took.
He quirked his brows, flying over to your side as he opened your car door.
“Let’s go, thief.” He tilted his head, hands gesturing forward animatedly.
“What a gentleman!” You mocked dramatically, sliding into the messy van easily as Eddie heaved a sigh.
He sprinted toward the other door, cursing as he struggled to open the rusty door, eyes bulging out of his head almost as he checked to make sure the coast was clear. “You know…” He started with a muffled sigh as he hopped into the driver’s seat. 
“Everyone thought I would be a bad influence on you… or that you would at least be a good influence on me, but ever since I met you, all we have done is illegal shit.” His voice was mocking. “I think it’s time you give up that good girl cheerleader title, princess. Because forcing your best friend to steal booze is definitely not good girl material.” 
Throwing your hands up in defense, you turned to him. “And they still think you are the devil worshipper!” You added, a hearty laugh escaping from your slurry lips.
Eddie sighed when he couldn’t turn the ignition properly, his van—Aurora, which Eddie of course named himself—was too old now.
“Oh, come on, baby,” He whispered when his fingers roughly tried to turn the key further, earning a hesitant cough from his precious Aurora. “Pleasepleaseplease…” He whispered, engine roaring back to life now with his second try. “There you go, honey, thank you!” He exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air, mouth quick to press up against the wheel, giving Aurora a thousand kisses, causing you to squint your eyes.
“You are… pathetic,” You scoffed with a shake of your head, a teasing smirk playing at your lips.
“Oh, we’ll see who’s pathetic,” He disagreed dramatically. His eyes diverted from the road as he sneakily grabbed your bag, causing you to protest quickly. “Hey!” He didn’t mind your tug on his bicep when he dug his whole arm into your bag, fiddling as he tried to find your cassette tape under all the mess.
“There we go,” He hummed when he animatedly pulled it toward your sight. ‘BEST MIXTAPE’ The tape dramatically read when Eddie snatched it out of your view stuffing it away from you. 
“If you make fun of Aurora, you lose your music privileges.” He hummed all-knowingly, a troublesome look overtaking his features as he focused back on the road. Your gaze squinted, barely able to see his plump lips that were now quipped into a grin.
“Really…” You hummed, hiding behind the way your lips twitched mischievously.
Eddie’s curiosity was quick to perk up; you not whining ‘Eds!!’ as you elbowed him and huffed when you called him a jerk meant only one thing.
You had some really good new music.
“You sure about that… Munson?” You quirked a brow, grin growing wider as you seized your bag from his hands, earning a groan from Eddie.
“What have you got up your sleeve, sweetheart?” He asked, stealing a quick glance at one of your pretty smiles before he turned his attention to the road.
“Something really good…” You hummed, hand diving into your bag again before you reclined in your seat, throwing him a knowing look.
“Jesus…” He whined. “What d’ya want?” He implored, his gaze squinting.
You wanted to keep the game going, tease him further, and get him to his breaking point. But the way his eye twitched with curiosity, tongue licking his lips with need made you want to tell him everything, let him in on your little surprise.
“Hmm… Music privileges…” 
“And?” He asked with a huff, knowing that’s not all you wanted.
“And, I’m gonna pick the place where we drink this cutie!” You exclaimed, hand pointing toward the tequila bottle you had a firm grip on.
He threw you a glare; it wasn’t a hard glare, you knew it and he knew it, he did it just to tease you, and that’s exactly what had you so giddy about him. “Fine…” He whined, teasing further. “Whatcha got?”
You clapped animatedly, pulling out the cassette with a huge grin. The Cure’s ‘The Head on The Door’ album was swaying in your hands as Eddie groaned.
You pouted. “You got me all excited for The Cure?” He pinched his brows together, causing you to gasp dramatically, huffing.
“What’s wrong with The Cure? You love them!” You protested, glaring at him.
“You love The Cure, sweetheart.” He grinned, earning a scoff from you as your hands were quick to wrap around your chest annoyedly.
“Just for that, you won’t get to know what the second album is. And it really was a good one.” You shrugged, putting the bag in front of your legs, just out of Eddie’s reach.
“Oh, come on!” He sighed, eyeing you with squinted eyes. 
“I was joking! I love The Cure.” He murmured, but you shrugged again, eyes falling toward the window as you started giving him the silent treatment playfully.
“Really?” He understood your play. “Jesus H. Christ.” He huffed, attention turning toward you.
“Just check the glove compartment.” You ignored him again.
“Pinky.” He called out. “Do it.” His eyes pointed toward it, causing you to sigh as you opened it unenthusiastically.
A bunch of cassette tapes fell toward your lap, you squealed at the contact. “Eddie!” You exclaimed with a chuckle.
Three Imaginary Boys, Seventeen Seconds, Faith, Pornography and The Top was sprawled across your lap, and your eyes widened.
The Cure’s discography. Just sitting in his glove compartment.
You turned to him with an affectionate gaze, hands covering your mouth as you stood speechless.
“Wh-what are these?” You were a stuttering mess. Did he really do all of this for you?
“Uh–I’m pretty sure those are albums, princess,” He mocked you in a playful tone as you tilted your head, tongue sticking out in a childish manner.
His smile grew wider before he shook his head. “Started collecting those–uh… after that day–uhh, you remember that?” His gaze avoided yours. 
“We–uh almost got kicked out of The Hideout?” He muttered with a sly grin, eyes focused on the road just so you wouldn’t notice the slight flush on his cheeks.
“Eds–” You attempted to speak, but he didn’t let you. “You remember that day? You asked me what my favorite band was?” You nodded furiously, Eddie didn’t even have to take another glance at you to know you had a warm smile on your face, sensing your head bobbing up and down excitedly. 
“Y-you know, before they tried to kick us out?” You gave him a slight giggle, humming.
“I told you mine was Dio. And you told me yours was The Cure?” A dizzying grin was stuck on your face, cheeks stretching with pain from how big it was. And Eddie knew if he looked, even for a split second, he’d fall for you all over again. He knew that he couldn’t contain those feelings inside of him anymore. So he avoided it. He avoided that one glance thrown your way because he didn’t want to lose you.
You bowed your head to say ‘yes’ again, words didn’t dare come out of your grinning lips. You didn’t know what to do; you wanted to hug him, feel his arms wrapped around you. You wanted to kiss his flushed cheeks and his apparent dimple, which you couldn’t get enough of.
The silence hanging in the air was killing you. “I remember.” You muttered, almost shyly, like the two of you weren’t teasing the hell out of each other mere seconds ago. 
His brows furrowed when you leaned over your seat again, digging something from your bag as you hid it behind you.
“That is why…” You smiled, hands shaking as you hid the cassette behind your back. “I got you this!” You exclaimed, swinging the tape in front of his bulging eyes.
His eyes squinted before the realisation set in. You remembered that day. Just like he did. You remembered his favorite band. Just like he did yours.
He didn’t want to get his hopes up, you were just being friendly, right? You didn’t do this in the same loving, caring way he did. You did this as a friend. You were a great friend. And he was an asshole for harboring these feelings for his best friend.
He couldn’t help the squeak that escaped his plump lips. The car came to a halt quicker than he intended it to. Swinging you over your seat, making you squeal with him.
“Jesus, Eddie!” You giggled, turning to face him and seeing his speechless face as he admired you. You could feel your cheeks heat up, and it was embarrassing.
Why did he have to look at you like that?
Why did he have to complicate things for you?
You wouldn’t be good enough for him.
And there was Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy—
Your inner thoughts were interrupted by his childlike screams as he seized the Sacred Heart album by Dio from your hands.
He didn’t hesitate—like you did—to engulf you in a hug. Hands securely resting on your lower back, and you could feel your breath hitch.
You would spend all of your work pay checks on stupid damn records if it meant you could see him like this again, and you’d happily starve if it meant you’d have him hug you like this again. But that’s what friends did, right? 
“Oh my god.” His eyes widened, tone much calmer before his excitement rose up again. 
“Oh my fucking god, Pinky!” He yelled in delight again, taking you by surprise when his hands were holding your shoulder in excitement. 
“Y-you… shit- you got this for me?” He asked with a sympathetic gaze.
You nodded quickly. “Of course!” 
“Why’d you think we had to steal that bottle?” You winked teasingly, causing him to snort.
“Pinky, you’re the fucking best.” He muttered into your hair, a grin overtaking your features when he held your face in his hands, honey-glazed eyes boring into yours.
“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.” His fast-paced mantra left you giggling again before he pressed a small, appreciative smooch on your forehead.
He was just being friendly, you thought. There was no way he could want something more. You were beyond fucked up for that, and Billy was the only proof you needed.
He sighed contently when he relaxed back into his seat. “Wherever you want to go, princess, let me know.” He winked with a childish smile.
The two cassettes were replayed over and over again before the two of you made your way to your ‘special destination’.
Dragging Eddie through the woods while he whined earned several giggles from you. He chugged the bottle in his hands with a sour face.
“How much longer do we have to fuckin’ walk?” He complained, his feet dragging on to exaggerate.  
“We’re almost there, you dork.” You squinted your eyes at another frustrated groan escaped his lips. Laughter erupting from your stomach teasingly before you handed him the stolen bottle, Eddie chugged quickly, and his face soured, “How did you even find this place anyway?” He asked.
“Skull Rock?” You asked, and he nodded. “Wait, you don’t know about Skull Rock?” You questioned, eyes widening, causing Eddie to roll his. “C'mon, Pinky, not all of us hang out with the prissy popular kids.”
You gasped and playfully but still harshly hit his chest, “Ow!” He flinched. “Shit, are all cheerleaders as heavy-handed as you?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Hey, I barely touched you!” You smirked while he faked getting hurt, rubbing his chest mockingly.
“Skull Rock is known as the make-out spot of Hawkins.” You enunciated dramatically as Eddie ooh-ed, “Thanks to, ‘King Steve’”, you mocked, mimicking air quotes.
Eddie’s eyes widened. “Wait… wait,” His walking came to a halt when he tried to process that information. “Y-you and Steve?” He asked, dumbfounded, a slight overtone of jealousy was apparent in his tone, mixed with his own insecurities, and your face was quick to sour. “God, no!” You scrunched your nose; you loved Steve, but not in that way, never in that way.
“Who do you think taught him this place?” You tilted your brows. 
“I came here the first time my parents left with a tiny note stuck on the fridge.” You shrugged. You were used to your parents always leaving you without any notice other than a scribbled note that told you that they’d be gone for a while. And you never knew if it would be for days or for months. Now that they've been gone for the last four months, you assumed it was permanent this time, and even though you never admitted to it, it fucking hurt. Coming here has been your only escape lately. And all you wanted to do was share it with Eddie, have him in your comfort zone. 
Eddie’s face soured; you could see that red tint on his cheeks, almost like he was furious. And he was, because he understood. He understood what it was like to have deadbeat parents who were fucking useless, he understood the pain it brought and how it could make a person feel so fucking unwanted. But at least he had Wayne. You didn’t have anyone. The closest thing to you had that resembled a family were your friends and the Wheelers—and even that wasn’t enough to give him some peace of mind. 
“When Steve had his first heartbreak, I brought him here, but that fucker turned this place into an orgy party,” You continued, a simple chuckle escaping your lips. 
“And after that, people started coming here all the time for their little make-out sesh.” Your hands stretched forward to make a point, and you rolled your eyes. 
“Even Billy took me here one time,” You murmured the Billy part, wanting to avoid the talk with Eddie because you knew neither of them liked each other, and you rarely, if ever, spoke about him with Eddie, while Billy always announced his distaste for Eddie, murmuring about how it was obvious that the “freak” just wanted to get in your pants.
“You know, Billy is one of those people who think I’m a bad influence on you because I’m a “freak” and “devil worshipper,” right, sweetheart?” You avoided his gaze.
You didn’t want to talk about Billy, at least not with Eddie, and not now. You just wanted one thing to yourself without him being involved, which seemed impossible.
You forced a smile. “Well, Billy is…” an asshole, an idiot, and sometimes a fucking narcissist, you wished to say, but you didn’t want to drag Eddie into your relationship problems. Billy was still your boyfriend, and in all honesty, your on and off relationship was something that no one actually understood.
Nancy gave Billy a glare each time he came around, Steve and Robin constantly reminded you how awful he was. But it didn’t matter, because you couldn’t let him go, each time he fucked you up in a different way, you went back to him.
You took him back because you didn’t know any better, you accepted him because love was supposed to be like this, wasn’t it? It was supposed to be a challenge, it was supposed to be fucking hard. It was supposed to be something to fight for.
But it was so…exhausting. Trying to get him to understand you, trying to get him to care, trying not to make him mad—walking on egg-shells each time you were around him.
And everything was so fucking different with Eddie; things were so uncomplicated with him and so fucking fun. You didn’t want to admit that you wanted that… that you wanted him. 
Because he was easy—and in the best possible way. He was so easy to love. He was safe and he made you feel safe. When he caressed your back, when he opened a door for you, when he let you walk in front of him with his hand ghosting over your lower back, when you asked him to hold your bag and he swung it over his shoulder. He laughed at things easily, he made you laugh easily. He listened intently, when you just wanted to open up for a bit, he was quiet; when you needed someone to talk to, he gave you all the advice in the world.
And more than anything, Eddie cared. He cared about you, in a way you had never been cared for before.
He brought a side out of you that you never knew existed; relaxed. He was gentle with you, he knew how to joke around, and he didn’t have any problems being who he was. He was open and nice; he didn’t get angry at everything, and it was just… nice to be around him.
You shook your head at your thoughts, “Billy is Billy.” You concluded, eyes fixed on the ground. Eddie just gave you a small smile, as if he understood your train of thought. His hands caressed your back reassuringly in a way that was telling you that it was okay to think what you were thinking, and it brought an imminent smile to your face, knowing that he would always be there for you.
You remembered that night clearly when the two of you drank an entire bottle of booze you stole, and smoked Eddie’s stash, bodies lazily laying next to each other, Skull Rock had the best view, stars filled the empty sky, and a crescent moon appeared between them.
It was relaxing, lying with Eddie, high out of your mind.
“There’s no way you think Honeycomb Cereal is the best breakfast food.” You shook your head as Eddie scoffed.
“I do! It counts as breakfast, and you can also eat it as a snack on its own, what more do you need?” He raised his brows, taking a puff from the joint sitting between his index fingers.
“Uh? I don’t know, waffles? Eggs and bacon? Actual good cereal?” You mocked, causing Eddie to nudge your side lightly.
“Oh, and which cereal does the princess think is the best?”
“Cinnamon Toast Crunch, of course,” You said proudly.
“You are disgusting.” Eddie scrunched his face. You shrugged with a grin on your face as you snatched the joint from his fingers, reaching for the lighter in his hand. And before you could even light the blunt sitting in your fingers, the carved lighter caught your attention.
It was a silver Zippo lighter with a dragon print and had scratches all over it. You scrunched your brows as you looked up at Eddie and said, “What the hell is this?” You held the lighter up, and Eddie seized it from your hands.
“A lighter?” He replied smugly, causing you to huff, “Where did you even get it?” Your curiosity peaked.
“Bummed it off a guy at the bar last night, pretty fuckin’ cool, huh?” He asked, getting excited as he showed you the print, the carving of the dragon was so detailed that you could basically count its scales.
“Stealing is considered cool?” You murmured, causing Eddie to give you a huff as he placed the lighter on the rock between the two of you, allowing you to get a more detailed look. 
“Really, Pinky?” He almost snorted. “How about you answer that one, because the tequila bottle you’re holding wasn’t paid for... If I remember correctly,” He mocked a thinking face, dimples ever-so apparent as he tried to contain his grin.
“I–We!” You expressed in a higher tone, “Didn’t steal that bottle because it was cool, doofus. We! did it because we’re poor.” You enunciated the ‘us’ part again before nudging his rib slightly and prodding, earning a “Hey!” from Eddie, who was ticklish. 
“Anyway.” You giggled, handing the lighter back to him with a grin on your face, “Would’ve been cooler if it was pink.” Eddie gave you a weird look.
“What?” You implored, shrugging carelessly.
“Pinky liking pink… what a surprise, huh?” He said sarcastically, causing you to groan.
“Don’t be such a guy, Munson,” You warned, you liked pink, but both of you knew that wasn’t why the nickname stuck. And it didn’t matter what it truly meant because you liked it. You liked that it was the only thing you had from them that didn’t leave—something that was truly yours, something that would never abandon you. 
“Oh, you know that’s not why, you doofus.” You rolled your eyes. “Have you ever seen a pink dragon?” You gushed, and Eddie shook his head. 
“See! Case closed.” You grinned.
“Pink dragons are cool,” You said with a determined face, and Eddie couldn’t help the grin that was plastered onto his face now.
You spent the rest of the night giggling like a bunch of kids over nothing, the chilling breeze of the Hawkins nights providing comfort to you that you had never felt before.
When your shivers hadn’t stopped, you heard Eddie sighing, “Okay, you are getting my jacket,” He insisted, annoyed, because you had refused his offer for a jacket a million times just because you didn’t want him to be cold.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head before you could open your mouth to refuse. Calloused hands quick to securely wrap his infamous black leather jacket around you. You looked up at him, a sympathetic gaze apparent, as you tried to refuse, tried to insist that he would get cold, but he didn’t accept it. “Better I freeze off than you.”
Your heart fluttered before it was apparent on your face, lips twitching into a warm, sickly sweet smile as you accepted, “Thank you,” You murmured, almost shyly. The jacket fell comfortably on your shoulders, a whiff of weed, beer and the old leather smell engulfed you, warmth taking over your entire body.
You liked the feeling of wearing something that was his. In fact, you liked it too much. Something about Eddie always provided some sort of security for you. He made you feel comfortable in your skin, like he was meant to be there for you, like he was supposed to help you, even when you repeatedly told him you didn’t need it. You cleared your throat to gather your thoughts, taking the joint in his hands as your head slowly but comfortably fell on his shoulders.
Taking a puff from it, you looked over at Eddie. “As soon as I graduate, I’m leaving this place.” You could feel his head turn toward you, his gaze almost burning its way through your hair. 
“Eight months, eight fucking months left.” Your tone was the most serious he had heard that night, and he couldn’t help but have a baffling look on his face. You had mentioned something about ‘leaving this hellhole’ before, but he never knew how serious you were, at least until now.
He shook his head quickly to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and scare you away, so he shrugged. “Fine, but you can’t abandon me, I’m coming with you.” His tone was nonchalant, and it brought a smile to your face.
“I would never leave without you.”
NOW.
You shook your head at the memories, at least you had achieved one of those things. You got out of the hellhole that was Hawkins as soon as you graduated, being selfish enough to not care about the ones you had left behind, but you needed to do whatever you could to survive, and you shouldn’t have to apologize for it, right?
Right?
It’s what you kept repeating to yourself, but there was one part of you that always felt guilty for leaving without a goodbye, cutting off all contact. And that guilt returned with Nancy’s invitation; you knew you couldn’t hold off on her wedding, no matter how much you wanted to escape the town that caused you agony.
Nancy was your best friend when you were living in Hawkins, she was there with you through everything, and the Wheelers were there when your parents abandoned you, inviting you to their home as if it were nothing. 
You've seen Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and Robin several times in the last couple of years. Especially after Nancy told them the exact reason why you left, they understood and welcomed you. 
That’s what you loved about them; even though you spent some time apart, they would always be your best friend. And that is exactly why Nancy picked you as her maid of honor—because she knew you’d always be there. She trusted you with her whole life, and so did you. The two of you knew things about each other that no one else did. 
And I'll leave you lyin' on the bed I'll be out the door before you wake
You huffed when you turned the stereo off, the lyrics giving you a stupid familiar  feeling, like it was written about you and Eddie. Like Axl and Izzy were hiding somewhere in the California apartment you and Eddie stayed in right after you left, as if they witnessed you leaving him there. 
The song became an afterthought when you realized you actually had to go in now or one of Wheeler’s snobby neighbors would surely call the cops on you for suspiciously watching the house while hiding in your car like a coward.
Eddie was already in there.
What if everyone else was there too? 
Would they cuss you out and tell you to fuck off? 
You surely deserved it.
You cursed yourself when you exited the car, feet dragging you all the way to the door, knowing that you needed to do this. Inhaling a deep breath, you rang the bell, even the tune sounded the same, and the guilt inside of you started rising up again.
“Will you get that?” Nancy’s screaming voice could be barely heard from your side of the door, and your eyes immediately pressed shut together.
Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don't let it be Eddie—
When the door swung open, the eyes that met yours blinked quickly, not knowing whether they were imagining it or not.
Your blinking eyes were quick to open widely as well, and a sigh of relief left your chest.
It wasn’t Eddie.
But it still wasn’t any better. Your face was quick to feel hot as your gaze met hers, and you felt ashamed. Not knowing what to say, you murmured a simple “Hey.”
Max stood in front of you with an unreadable expression, and you were afraid. For the first time, you were afraid of her.
Was she going to slam the door in your face? Was she just going to ignore you? 
You bit your lip out of nervousness at the silence, and just as you were about to open your mouth again, Max squealed—which you had never, ever heard her do before—as she wrapped her arms around you in a jump-like hug.
Your breath got caught in your lungs, and a hearty giggle escaped your plump lips as you embraced it, melting into the hug. 
“I can’t believe it.” She squealed, pulling away from the hug to see your face fully again, her eyes almost prickling with tears.
Jesus. She had grown up so fast.
Her face that fell around your shoulders felt weird now that she was so much taller and much closer to you in height. She looked different, and you couldn’t decide whether to feel ashamed or guilty about it.
Your eyes widened, almost in shock, you never expected to be perceived in any way positively, especially by Max. And she could sense that shock on your face, with the way your mouth visibly stood agape. 
“You-uh… you’re not mad?” You implored, eyes almost widening with the need to know. 
Her eyes softened, and the sorrows in your heart were quick to dissipate with it, she shook her head lightly, almost in an all-knowing way.  “Uhm- I-I know what happened.” She almost whispered, gaze falling toward the kitchen, implying that Nancy had already babbled about the day you left. 
Damn you, Nancy Wheeler. 
Your head popped up toward the kitchen, where Nancy was, as if you were going to run up to her, your cheeks fluttered with embarrassment, you never wanted Max to find out. 
“Don’t… please don’t be mad at her.” She turned your attention back to her with a gentle touch on your arm, easing your tense body with just one touch. 
“If she didn’t tell me what happened… I don’t think I’d even talk to you, Pinky.” She admitted shyly, your gaze on her still widening. 
“Wh-what exactly did she tell you?” You asked, you weren’t going to get mad at Nancy, you knew she didn’t have any malicious intentions, you just never wanted Max to know what her step-brother did. At least not until she was much older. Your brain almost short-circuited as you looked at her once again. She was already much older; you knew Nancy made the right call.
“Not much!” Max blurted quickly, maybe to ease your worries; maybe it was the truth. 
“Just that- uh-that… Billy did something horrible, and that you and Eddie left and then uh… the two of you went to.. uh—Chicago?” She stuttered, head hanging low before she looked back at you, trying to read your expressions.
“California,” You muttered.  “Uh-Los Angeles, to be exact.” You breathed, correcting her. Did she know more? Did she also know that you left Eddie after that, too? Did she know that you had been carrying the guilt of leaving Eddie, her and those four little idiots too? The only ones you didn’t have any contact with in the last five years?
“Is that… is that where you are now?” Her brows pinched together; she knew where you were—New York, Nancy had told her. But she just wanted to hear more from you, and you could sense it. 
You shook your head. “New York.” Your lips pursed together, and she gave you a slight nod as if to ask if there was anything else going on in your life, you caught it immediately. “My cousin helped me get this apartment, and she, uh, has this record shop there.” Max gave you a tight-lipped smile.
“And, uh, it has like a tattoo shop behind it—records by day and tattoos by night.” You revealed more, awkwardly, your stupid joke made you want to hit your head against the perfectly white marbled walls of the Wheeler’s. “I’m actually training to become a tattoo artist now,” You said with your gaze stuck on how much she had grown now, almost feeling embarrassed for some reason before Max’s gasp turned your attention back to her.
“No way.”
“Dude, you’re still so fucking cool.” She nudged your shoulder, and your face instantly lit up. All the worries in your head disappeared, giddiness replacing it when you realized Max still saw you as her cool older sister.
“You think so?” You teased, giving her a light-hearted chuckle, “Uh… yeah? Dude, you work at a record store that has a tattoo shop in the back… you invented cool at this point.” She encouraged, surprise and fascination washing over her face.
“If Mad Max says so” You teased, muffling her hair and earning whines from her. 
And you hated that it took you back to five years ago. Every stupid fucking thing you saw or did in this town made you take a trip down memory lane, but it was the worst with Max, because almost every memory with her had your head wandering off to the certain redhead’s step-brother. A chill ran down your spine at the idea of him even being back in town. But there was no fucking way, right? 
You had heard from Nancy that the Mayfield-Hargrove’s had moved out and returned to California by the time Max started going to college—somewhere far away from them. However, she and the other kids always returned to Hawkins in the summer. You assumed she wanted to reunite with her friends and that she was trying to avoid the step-fuckers—a nickname Max herself gave both Billy and Neil Hargrove.
“He-uh… He doesn’t know about the wedding, right? Or he isn’t… he isn’t back in town? Is he?” You stuttered eerily; you knew Nancy would never invite him, but you still wanted to make sure that he didn’t know about it or that he wouldn’t know you were back in town.
“No—god, no.” Max shook her head quickly. “He’s in California with the ‘parents’.” She scoffed. “He has no fucking clue.” She added.
And you nodded simply; one of your worries was now at ease.
“What about…” You trailed off, pretending to sound nonchalant about wanting to ask about Eddie, you were anything but as you fiddled with your fingers.
Max picked up on it immediately. “Eddie?” she asked almost smugly, making you nod quickly—too quickly to appear nonchalant.
“Oh!” She grinned, making your cheeks feel hot.
Damn it. How did he still have this effect on you without even being present?
“He came like an hour ago. The last I saw him he was arguing with Dustin about their nerdy game.” She rolled her eyes slightly. 
“Oh, uhm, that’s—that’s good…” You said unsurely, you knew he was here, because of his stupid van that was parked outside just behind your car, but what the fuck were you even going to do when you did eventually see him. 
Would you pretend like nothing happened?
Would he pretend like nothing happened?
How the fuck were you supposed to do that when your feelings for him were still all over the place? You already felt dumb for not managing to get over him in the last five years, it just seemed impossible considering how things were left off.
You cleared your throat, turning your attention to Max. You didn’t need Eddie to cloud your mind right now, the guilt of abandoning Max still filled your stomach.
“Max…” You caught her attention softly, and almost as if she knew you were going to bring up the subject, a pout overtook her features. 
“I—I’m sorry…” You started, voice shaky. “I fucked up, I should have let you know... A message, a call, a note… Jesus—anything.” Your voice was meek, causing you to gulp.
“I should have done something, I—Fuck… I don’t know what to say, just that I’m really sorry.” You were stumbling over your own words when your vision got blurry, eyes glossy as you looked up at her.
“Pinky…” She muttered comfortingly, you didn’t expect this kindness from her that you thought you were unworthy of. You had left her without anything, and she still greeted you with open arms.
Maybe you were wrong. Maybe people could forgive you, maybe they could forget. Maybe Eddie would laugh it off. 
“I know that…” She offered a sympathetic gaze. “I knew deep down that you would never leave without a goodbye if it wasn’t important.” She gulped, physically, that familiar lump in her throat returned with the emotional weight her words held. 
“I’m not a kid anymore.” Max gave you a small smile. “I know how hard that must’ve been for you, okay?” Her hands were quick to take yours into hers, fingers gently soothing you. “I don’t blame you. So don’t fucking blame yourself… I know how you get.” Her hands stood on your shoulder now, shaking you lightly in the guise of making you feel better. 
A poor smile appeared on your lips, Max possibly didn't realize how much her words mattered to you, how you needed to relieve yourself of the guilt. One gesture from her almost enough to heal the wound that coming back to Hawkins split open deep inside of you. 
“Oh my god!” Nancy’s shriek caused you to turn around. 
“Pinky, finally!” Her voice beamed, and before you even got a chance to say anything, she engulfed you in a hug.
 “I was about to lose it,” She whispered into the hug before her eyes widened at you and Max.
“Shit…” She muttered, knowing Max had probably already told you that she blabbed about your disappearance.
“I was going to mention that…” She tilted her head adorably, a shy smile adorning her lips as you brushed it off with a laugh.
“Don’t worry about it, Nance.” You waved your hands in dismissal. “I can’t be pissed at you for anything… at least for the next five days…” You hummed. 
“You better use your wedding privileges wisely.” You said, throwing her a wink, as you pulled away from the hug. 
Your hands rubbed together quickly. “So... uh–where’s everyone?” You stammered, you were mostly asking about Eddie, but you also wanted to know where the hell Steve and Robin were. You missed those two idiots who were attached at the hip. They could calm you down better than anyone.
“The other kiddos are only going to be able to make it to the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding.” She pouted, knowing that she planned a five day full of activities for all the people closest to her and Jonathan, but Mike, Lucas, El and Will were all going to miss it. 
She huffed. “And uhhh… Steve and Robin are coming later tonight.” 
“You remember we got that brunch thing at Steve’s tomorrow, right?” She asked, eyes squinting with doubt, before her arms crossed against her chest. 
You almost groaned, head falling back. Fucking Steve and his stupid brunch plan. 
“How could I forget?” You said through pressed lips, trying your best to seem enthusiastic, it wasn’t that you had a problem with it—it was because you were nervous, so fucking nervous to be in the same close proximity of Eddie again.
“And Jonathan should be...” She eyed the backyard. “Yup, in the backyard with the band. I left all the band planning to him.” She shrugged, making your eyebrows quirk. 
Shit. She really did fucking love Jonathan, didn’t she? She would’ve never let anyone meddle with her own plans otherwise. 
“Uhh–Dustin and… the others–” Her voice slightly cracked, and you instantly knew she was talking about Eddie. 
“They’re-uh they’re just in the basement… uh—getting something I needed.” She nervously scratched her head. “I’m sure they’ll—uh… say hi when they can.” She gave you a nervous smile, eyeing Max before turning her attention to you.
And just like clockwork, just as Nancy started to babble more about the plans she had for the five days you were supposed to be in Hawkins, her words were quickly interrupted by the loud voice of Dustin, “Shut up!”
“Shut the fuck up!” He exclaimed excitedly as you gave him a slight giggle.
“I wasn’t talking,” You joked, and before you could get another word out, Dustin squeezed you in a tight hug, causing more giggles and excited squeaks to escape your lips.
“Looks like somebody missed me, huh?” You raised a brow.
“What have you been up to, Dustybun?” You asked with a sly smirk, causing Dustin to cringe at the nickname.
“Me? Jesus, you’ve been gone for five years, and you’re asking what I’ve been up to?” You shrugged.
“Where the fuck have you been?” You couldn’t pinpoint if it was genuine curiosity or a slight anger lingering in his tone.
“New York,” Max spoke before you, the attention in the room shifting towards her. 
“She’s a tattoo artist now.” She exclaimed excitedly, causing Dustin’s eyes to widen.
“You?” He questioned, causing Nancy to join in and nod in excitement.
“No fucking way!”
“Well, I’m not exactly—”
“Dude, that’s so fucking cool!” Dustin gushed, interrupting you.
“Man, I knew those sketches were too cool to let them go to waste on Eddie’s bedroom walls,” He snorted, but your brows quipped, his bedroom walls? Did he still keep those? 
“You have to tattoo me,” He raved, interrupting your thoughts as you stared at him in disbelief.
“No way, do you want Miss Henderson to kill me?” You huffed, crossing your arms against your chest.
“Oh, come on, just one little favor?” He pouted.
“Nuh-uh! The last time you asked me for a favor, she chided me for months, months!” You emphasized, “She even left me one too many voicemails scolding me!” Dustin sighed.
 “How about something not-too-big? Like the bat one you did for Eddie, it looks so fucking—”
“You talkin’ bout me, Henderson?” A voice rang from the basement, and the slight sound of his footsteps dragging closer and closer toward the two of you caused you to stop dead in your tracks. You always knew Dustin was too loud for his own good.
You gulped, physically, and that lump in your throat reclaimed its place, his voice caused further suffocation in your throat, not being able to breathe when you could recognize that husky tone anywhere.
But it felt different.
Something about him felt different.
Your brain was struggling to comprehend a thought, your mouth had dried up, and it was getting harder to breathe.
“Dude... you could not rock a tattoo like me, no matter how fuckin' hard you—” And there was a pause, a small hitch in Eddie’s breath, as he finally realized who Dustin was talking to. And you could feel that hesitation, that uncomfortable tension filling the room that was once comfortable.
“Pinky?” You could recognize him just by his footstep alone, but now you’re sure it’s him, the nickname still rolling off his tongue so easily and sugary, like you had never left, like everything was okay again.
You’re slow to turn to face him, heart pounding with worry before you fully take him in, trying to decide his facial expressions, waiting for the anger, disappointment, shame, and fury.
You cannot place what his gaze holds, but you have missed the small glimmer in his eyes, the same one he always had when he saw you, so promising, so mellow that you feel your heart tightening.
You take him in now more than ever, his cheekbones are hollow and his face is more defined. He has so much more muscle on him, and it makes you question how long he has been working out.
His hair still lays messily on his forehead, bangs framing his face perfectly. Black jeans paired with a band-tee, and not just any band-tee, a Corroded Coffin shirt that unintentionally has you smiling. His dark brown eyes are mesmerizing as ever, eyelashes fluttering as he tries to accept the sight in front of him. Trying to make sure that he isn’t hallucinating, that you are actually here.
He looks good, so good that you can feel your mouth dry up, words getting stuck in your throat, the guitar pick necklace adorning his neck makes you want to pull him closer toward you.
You study him more than you should; those deep brown eyes are staring at you like a deer in headlights.
When he takes a step closer, gaze still locked to yours, you feel as if your souls have made a bridge, one you weren’t sure if you would be able to mend.
Close. He’s very close, but still, not close enough, not to your liking anyway. You want to be close enough to take him in wholly; you want him to engulf you in his arms, protecting you from all that’s bad in the world, feeling every ounce of him. The one person you had been yearning for was standing a foot away from you, and it was truly painful.
“You came,” Was all that left his plump lips, his gaze was still soft. He was as nervous as you are, something that you didn’t manage to pick up on. 
If only he knew why you had to abandon him, maybe he would understand… Maybe he would even rid you of your guilt.
“Y-yeah, I did,” You stuttered.
“Max, Dustin!” Nancy announced. “Why don’t you two help me in the back?” Nancy threw a look that both of them understood immediately, running off after her without another word exchanged.
The incessant throb in Eddie’s heart returned when his attention turned back to you, he knew you would come, but he didn’t know how much that would crush him.
That rage in him, bubbling up at the surface, subsided quickly when you gave him that gentle look. “What’s Dustin yapping about?” He asked with a chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood and ease his own worries.
“Oh— uhm… just that he wanted me to tattoo him,” You couldn’t help the nervous crack in your voice.
“You? Oh my god, you finally did it?” 
“Well… not exactly.” You gave him an awkward chuckle. “I’m training to be one, though.” You shrugged. 
“You know I’m a happy customer of yours.” He gave you a smile before he flashed his forearm, showing you the bat tattoo that you gave him five years ago.
He had much more tattoos now, but the bat tattoo you gave him still stood out among the thousand others on his forearm, at least it did to you. “Oh!” He breathed, attention diverting to something else as his hands fiddled behind him. He dug them in his back pocket, he struggled to get something it out. “Aha!” He exclaimed, waving the worn out notebook in front of your curious gaze. “But I’m definitely not giving you the ‘Promise’ notebook back!” 
Your pupils dilated at the sight; he still had it. He still had the notebook that your stupid sketches were sprawled all over. You gave it to him sometime during senior year, when he was having some trouble with his songwriting process. Your parents got you that notebook as a joke as soon as they saw the handwritten ‘Promise’ on the front, a silly play on your nickname. And you wanted him to have it; you wanted it to inspire him as much as it did you; your art mattered, and you wanted him to see that, so did his. 
“You… you still have that?” You asked, an astonished look still not leaving your features. “Yeah, it really played a key role on our first album.” He beamed. A crimson red blush was quick to wash over his cheeks; he wasn’t sure if he should’ve told you that or let you in this quickly when you left him on a whim in LA. 
“But… that’s— that’s still so fucking cool, Pinky,” His eyes widened, he shook off his thoughts in a flash. He had missed you, so fucking much—more than he let you on.
“So I’ve been told.” You meant to sound nonchalant. 
“What have you been up to?” You asked as if you didn’t know, as if you didn’t try to gather some information about him from Nancy and Jonathan. As if you didn’t listen to their album the second it came to your record shop.
“Just making some music, here and there.”
It was a lie.
He knew it was a lie, and you knew it was a lie.
Eddie made it big after the last time you saw him, signing onto the biggest record label and releasing an album that became way bigger than even his group had intended to.
“You don’t have to be so humble, I know how big you guys have made it.” You offer him a slight smile.
“Maybe a little bit.” He gestures with his hands, causing you to giggle. “Even had a gig here last week, the crowd was crazy.”
“It’s funny, though.” He murmured, causing you to raise your brows. “All the fuckin’ people at Hawkins who called me a freak and tried to shun me out was screaming my name... pretty weird fuckin’ feeling, huh?” He shrugged.
“I guess I know how the popular princess feels now,” He teased.
You nudged him slightly, “Guess you’re the popular boy of Hawkins now, huh?” He gave you a slight smile, and it felt comfortable, he was so easy to be with.
“Yeah, Jonathan worked really hard to get us for this wedding thing, you know?” He joked, giving a slight smirk.
“You and Jonathan, huh?”
“I don’t even know how you guys became best friends.” You added, wanting to joke.
“Yeah, I guess a lot happens when you don’t abandon people.” Ouch. You guessed you had deserved that one, but it still hurt to see him think of you this way, the entire atmosphere of the room had shifted, the casual conversation you had wasn’t as genuine as you thought it was, and you could see that he was hurt.
You knew he would be angry, but this seeming grudge wasn’t what you were hoping for. Maybe it was selfish of you, but you wanted him to miss you, tell you that he wanted to be with you, engulfing you in his arms as he spun you around, muttering how much he loved you.
But that wasn’t realistic, was it?
You gulped, feeling awkward, and now it was Eddie’s turn to feel bad. He internally cringed as he saw the look on your face, he knew that look so well. The way you played with your hair for some sort of comfort, he could sense that the guilt was eating away at you.
“I— I guess I deserved that.” You forced a smile, chuckling ironically, sensing the visible shift in Eddie’s face, the initial shock of reuniting with you wearing off, and his anger and hurt taking over. 
The tension that lingered in the air was interrupted by Jonathan swinging open the sliding door in the backyard and the four people standing behind him.
Before you could comprehend who they were, a squealing voice caused you to turn around, and a blonde-haired woman brushed past you. “Eds!” She called out, walking toward Eddie.
You looked up to see Jonathan leading Gareth, Jeff, and Frank to the backyard, telling them something about their gig, but you could care less as you stood still in your place, eyes glued on how Eddie greeted the girl, focus shifting solely on her as his hands caressed her shoulders, comforting her, as if you weren’t there, as if he didn’t care.
That screeching voice sounded familiar, but you couldn’t tell who the hell she was supposed to be when all you could see was her back and Eddie’s hands ghosting over her waist.
You were starting to feel small, trapped in your own body, with nowhere to go. Why was she hugging Eddie? Why were they so fucking close?
When she finally turned around, tucking her straight blonde hair behind her ears, glimmering blue eyes met yours, and you immediately realized who it was.
Chrissy.
The same Chrissy that was your supposed friend in high school, the same Chrissy who suddenly turned on you and made your life a living hell in senior year.
That’s why you didn’t recognize her—the strawberry blonde color she had was now more vanilla, and you hated to admit that she looked pretty—too fucking pretty.
Your eyes were narrowed with distaste; you had no right to be jealous, but you were powerless against that ugly emotion when it came to Eddie, swelling your chest way quicker than you intended to and stinging you harder as you struggled to keep a forced smile on your lips. 
Huffing, your mind drifted to Eddie. Surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with her, you decided. He knew some of the horrible things she did to you during your senior year, so there was no fucking way he would want anything to do with her.
Right?
“Oh my god, Pinky!” She squealed once again when she saw you, and you wanted to chuckle bitterly. With your tongue rolling inside your cheek, you tried to keep your damn mouth shut. She didn’t get to call you that nickname. Not when she did all of that during your senior year.
You didn’t return the hug she forced you into, eyes drifting to Eddie who was now avoiding your gaze. Lips pursed shut as he twisted his rings. Something weird was going on, and your stomach churned at the thought.
When Chrissy’s forced embrace on you ended, you barely forced a smile, and with a dead look on your face, you waited for her to disappear.
Why was she even here?
Who even invited her?
Running up to Nancy and asking her what the fuck she was thinking inviting her here would’ve been an exaggeration, you realized.
As envious thoughts sank further and further into your head, you realized something was wrong now. The way Chrissy leaned in to whisper something in Eddie's ear, giggling as she threw her head back.  
It meant something. It was like a sick feeling of deja-vu. A sinking feeling twisted your stomach, and a pang of insecurity gnawed at it. Your jaw clenched involuntarily; Eddie didn't even spare a glance in your direction. His attention was fully on her, and a wave of rage surged within you, threatening to overflow. The need to separate them, to pull her away from him, was almost unbearable.
Still, you knew you couldn’t do anything, and that was what made your blood boil, Eddie was nothing to you, he wasn’t even a friend to you—at least not anymore, something that you made sure of five years ago.
And before you could say or do anything more,
Chrissy smashed her lips against Eddie’s.
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thestitchywitchy · 2 years ago
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Future Spouse: First Impressions Pt 1
Hello my dears! Here’s a little PAC I’ve been working on…. This is going to be a 2 part (possibly a third, 18+ post, depending on how well these do) series as this one became a lot longer than I intended it to lol. This one will be about your future spouse’s first impression of you. The next one will be your first impression of them. Please leave feedback 😁
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To book a reading with me, please DM or send an email to [email protected] with your inquiry 💌
My Links <- 🔮please support your witch💕 -> Masterlist
Please donate if you’re able to 🙏
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Here we go! Shake it out, take a breath, close your eyes, and choose one of my favorite movie couples that calls out most to you. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you feel inclined to choose more than one group, please feel free to do so.
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Pictures are from Pinterest, credit to the owners. Editing was done by me, Stitchy!
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Gomez & Morticia - Pile One
6 of cups reversed, Queen of Swords, Page of Pentacles
All right, pile one, welcome to your reading! You will strike your future spouse as a complex individual from the very first moment. You may have seemed a bit guarded and reserved, which made them immediately think “💡I need to see what’s past that guard”. Aw cute lol. Some of you have a femme fatale thing going on and some of you are incredibly private or reserved, so you give off this mysterious vibe to your FS. The energy is as if you were carrying a heavy emotional burden from your past experiences on your shoulder, which makes you seem hesitant to open up to someone new.
As you two start conversing, they notice that you may have an air of authority about you. You may even be a manger/boss. Could even own your business or attempting to at the point of meeting them. This is only for some of you, but I’m also seeing kids? So you may be a parent or work with kids often. Teenagers/middle school age, specifically. They will also notice that you are very clear and precise in the way you communicate, and you seemingly have a sharp mind and quick wit about you. You may talk with your hands a lot too. They can tell that you’re someone who values honesty and straightforwardness above all else, and you are not someone who would suffer fools gladly. Get it, boo! Show those suckers what you’re made of 😉 But there was also something very innocent and curious about you under the surface that they are going to be intrigued by. Despite your guarded nature and no-nonsense attitude…you still seemed eager to learn and grow. They like that you may be open to new experiences and perspectives. You may have even called them out playfully or wasn’t afraid to stand up to them when they said something out of pocket. They aren’t typically used to receiving that energy so you made them go a bit gaga (even turned on for some of you lol) with this display of power.
Im sensing that, for a lot of you at least, you guys may really gravitate towards each other when you first meet because it seems like they were able to get to know you better on a deeper level right off the bat. They see that your past experiences have indeed left a deep mark on you and that you may be struggling to move past them. You may even bring up an ex or family issues during your conversation? But They also see that you had the strength and resilience to face your pain head-on and work towards healing and growth. They have/had no doubt that you have the intelligence and determination to make progress. They were inspired by your willingness to learn and explore new ways of thinking. You inspire them to become a better version of themselves. They may be going through some personal issues of their own at the time and the way you tackle issues may differ from they way they would usually do it. But they prefer your outlook on life so they may get inspired to take a page out of your playbook.
By the end of your meeting, they were left with a deep respect for this complex and multifaceted individual standing before them. You may have had a guarded and stand offish first impression, but they could see that beneath the surface was a person with a strong will, an open mind, and the courage to face your past and move towards a brighter future….and they would do anything in their power to be apart of it. Aww I love that for you, pile one! I hope you enjoyed your reading.
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Adam & Barbara - Pile Two
4 of pentacles, Ace of swords reversed, 9 of cups
Hey pile two, thanks for joining! Upon first meeting, you left a deep impression on your future spouse. To them, you seem to have an air of wealth and luxury about you. You may be dressed in your finest clothes or rockin your most expensive jewelry. Lmaooo I just heard “they’re bangin!” Sooo they’re really going to like your body, pile 2! 😂 can't get enough of it, apparently! That night/day, you will just all around be dressed to the nines and that will catch your FS’s attention right away. They may have noticed you right away, but it’s going to take them a little time to approach you. So as they continue to examine you from afar, they could sense something underneath all of the pretty wrapping paper. They feel a sense of possessiveness emanating from you. Like you’re holding on too tightly to your material possessions. It’s like…though you’re dressed to kill, they catch on to your insecurities beneath the surface. They’re trying to get familiar with your poker tells, basically.
Oop. Ok….Your FS may think that you might be having an identity crisis. Not necessarily in a negative way (although it might be for some of you who chose this pile), but it is apparent to them. You may be the type of person that struggles with their decision-making abilities. You may even seem lost and unsure of yourself, even though you’re dressed confidently. Like you don’t really belong in that setting, but you’re trying to fake it until you make it for whatever reason. This lack of clarity may also hinder you from making better choices for yourself. What I’m getting is like a nightclub, bar, or busy restaurant setting (take what resonates). You may have a lot of suitors physically surrounding you before your FS gets to you, so they’re still watching you from afar. They may see someone flirting with you and you’re eating up the attention and they’re just thinking to themselves… “really? You’re impressed by *that*?” Lmao your future spouse cracks me up. They’re a cerebral person, that’s for sure. They take in their surroundings before doing anything.
To them, it seems as though you are trying to use your wealth or material possessions to fill a void within yourself. Your future spouse feels like you’re trying to find emotional fulfillment in all the wrong places. They may also think you may be hard to satisfy or please, but are still not entirely sure what you really want. They see that you are seeking happiness but are met with fleeting moments instead and may even have lost touch with your emotional well-being. But they’re thinking that you’re knock out gorgeous, so why are you so sad?
Overall, their first impression of you is that you are struggling to find true happiness and emotional fulfillment in your life. While you may have amassed great wealth, luxury, and success ( whatever that means to you), you still seem to be missing something important in your day to day. They may have a fleeting thought of “ could it be me that’s missing from this equation?” Aww cute 🥰 hope you enjoyed your reading, pile 2!
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Seymour & Audrey - Pile Three
4 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Knight of Pentacles reversed
Hello pile 3, ready for your reading? Your future spouse’s first impression of you would be one of complexity and depth. They would see in you someone who is highly guarded and may be struggling with a fear of financial insecurity. You may be going through some difficulty at the time of meeting your future spouse and you may wear your worry on your face. For some of you, they felt your energy before they laid eyes on you. You may have been in a whirlwind of panic or frustration, maybe even tripping over yourself a bit, and they picked up on it before you even entered the room. Fear not, they will think your dishevelment is rather adorable lol awww!
However, they would also sense a deep emotional intelligence and sensitivity in you, much like the Queen of Cups. They would think that you’re someone who is highly empathetic and in tune with your and other’s emotions, but you may also be very protective of your feelings and hesitant to fully open up to others. I see a lot of nervous chuckling happening when you’re around them. They may have approached you in a teasing manner and you reacted shyly and a bit embarrassed. That’s so adorable pile 3! But remember, you’re the prize…no need to be nervous 😉 oh, I’m getting that they really like your smile! They instantly see in you someone they can start a life/family with. There’s just something about you that tick off all their boxes.
Your FS will also feel that you may be resistant to change and may prefer to stick to a routine or maintain the status quo. They see you as the type of person who doesn’t want to step on any toes, even in detriment to yourself. They feel that you may be cautious when it comes to taking risks or trying new things, but this energy can also indicate a strong sense of dedication and a willingness to work hard and persevere. They see that you like things done a certain way so that’s how you’re going to do it.
Overall, their first impression of you would be that you’re a person with a complex and multi-layered personality. They would see someone who is both highly sensitive and guarded. They want to tear your walls down. Make you feel safe with them. Hmm…Your fear of financial security keeps coming up… like you fear financial instability, so you’ve married yourself to your work to never see your bank account dip lower than a certain amount. It may worry them a bit that you may not have room for a relationship (with them) in your life because of this. However, On the same note, they would also see someone who is dedicated and hard-working… Someone who has the potential to break through their blocks and achieve success and fulfillment in life. Your FS would be drawn to your emotional depth and dedication, and would be eager to help you navigate any challenges that may arise….they’re just hoping you’ll make a little bit of space for them in order to do that. Aw, congrats pile 3. That sounds sweet!!
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All rights reserved to @thestitchywitchy . Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading 😊 if you liked this reading and would like to dive in further, please DM me for a $7.77 extended reading 💞
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writingmeraki · 8 months ago
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unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.
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a seventeen hip hop unit imagines !
IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.
(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)
pairing : svt!hiphop!unit x gn!reader, friend's crush!seungcheol, best friend's other best friend!wonwoo, rival's friend!mingyu, rockstar! vernon.
genre : angst, no comfort. ( for now )
warnings : mentions of injuries, inaccurate basketball terms, cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguments, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed. ( not proofread ; we die like hyyh yoonkook )
author's note : i tried so hard to make gyu's messy but i just couldn't ( you'll find out ) these plots are soo random and specific pls but so funnn to write! also me uploading this much is trying to make up for very less updates for the last months of 2023. I missed milestones and I want to make up for those soon too! gahh anyways let me know what you think of these, im actually nervous abt this ngl ( also i just noticed soo much friend drama oof-)
VOCAL UNIT VER. | PERFOMANCE UNIT VER.
word count : 4.1k ( they are getting longer...)
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ᯓ★ | seungcheol.
He was off limits.
From the moment you knew your best friend, Haewon, had a crush on him, he was not supposed to ever be in your radar of romantic boundaries as per the rules of being a best friend. 
Seeing her going crazy for a boy like him at first really made you question if there was something wrong with you because you just couldn’t quite see it.
Sure he was literally the definition of tall, blonde and gorgeous. Sure he had adorable dimples that made him look less intimidating than you thought he initially was. Sure he was also the frat president as well as the captain of the soccer team making you wonder how he was able to still balance getting great grades.
Well. There was a slight possibility you could see what others saw. 
Maybe even more when the time you tried to play wingman for Haewon at a party where you lost her because apparently she was looking for him but said guy turned up right beside you as you were contemplating on what would least likely not kill your liver if you had it resulting in having conversations about cherries ( you don’t even know ) and him trying to convince (gaslight) you into soccer being one of the greatest games of all time. 
You didn’t get convinced but for the time it felt right to agree to what he said if it meant those adorable dimples would show up when you did. 
You were so screwed. 
Another thing Choi Seungcheol had was a great memory, because he seemed to remember you when he saw you walking down the hallway with Haewon as he smiled so widely at you in greeting. 
“Haha yeah hey! um…This is Haewon by the way! Haewon, Seungcheol.” You had to nudge her to snap out of her daze and she extended her hand in greeting as he politely shook her hand. 
“That reminds me, I forgot to ask you last night but uh can I have your-”
“Oh would you look at that! We’re getting late for class! I’m so sorry Seungcheol, we’ll have to leave!” 
That moment you think you were so going to hell when you saw how quickly his smile fell and how his sparkly eyes dimmed down because it felt like you committed a sin then and there. You think you saved yourself from committing a sin but it didn’t feel less dreadful as you grabbed her hand and rushed as quickly as you could.
In the opposite direction of where your class was.
“WHAT WAS THAT-”
“Listen- when you were looking for him last night- I swear I don’t know how but he was right where I ended up sitting and he-well, we talked I suppose-?”
Her eyes widened at your words and you raised your hands in surrender, 
“I promise I didn’t even know when he showed up, I tried to message you and even find you but you seemed gone until the moment we were leaving.”
“Plus the reason I didn’t tell you last night was I was tired! I was here trying to play wingman while the person in love was seemingly gone-”
She sighed and nodded at you, “You don’t have to explain, I know he’s not your type, you made that clear a lot of times actually it’s kinda hilarious.” She giggled as she recalled the countless times you chastised her for daydreaming about him. But now, you couldn’t stop the stupid tinge of bitterness in your heart.
Right. Not my type. 
Suddenly her eyes widened as an idea struck her, “That’s it! He was gonna ask for your number right? You can try and set me up then!”
“I well- I don’t know-”
“Please! You know how I have been trying to get to know him even.”
You didn’t want to say it then but you thought about how trying meant actually doing something rather than just gazing from afar. At least become friends with him was the words you told her countless times but she paid no heed, retorting how it was not that easy.
But it was easy because what’s the worst that could happen? Him having a partner? So it wasn’t the end of the world, others existed! 
Too bad you were easy to persuade, questionably easy because all it took were her doe eyes pleading at you to agree.
“Fine- I’ll try- but no promises.”
As she hugged you and squealed words of gratefulness to you, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it then but, 
You didn’t understand why it felt a part of you couldn’t seem to share the same happiness, conceivably a lingering dread there that knew something was surely going to go wrong.
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✮⋆˙ | wonwoo.
Everytime Jeon Wonwoo had the ever so unfortunate ( according to him ) time to exist in the same room as you, it seemed like an impending doom for him. 
His heart felt weird, his stomach dropped, his throat parched.
He hated it. 
He was an individual who knew what they wanted in life. Never unsure nor second guessing, always able to classify their emotions in proper ways. Systematic is the right word. Able to know what exactly he wants to do in his career, how to behave with his friends, when to be serious and when to have ‘fun’. 
So what happens when you completely throw him off the rocks with your mere existence?
He hates you. That’s how he tags the emotions he feels when he sees you and what does hatred sprout? Indifference. 
Too many questions asked but it’s what Wonwoo declares. 
Though, he thinks the first mistake is to think he’d be able to avoid you considering the fact that you were his best friend/roommate’s good friend. Meaning you spent around twenty to twenty two hours at their place (Yes he counted) and he absolutely hated it.
He hated how your giggles would ring out in the entire apartment when Mingyu said a half-assed joke, it literally made his chest feel uneasy. He hated how your eyes would always twinkle when you would be talking to Mingyu, it made his stomach drop and sigh in disbelief. 
Was Mingyu that oblivious to how much you liked him?
Now this was a question that made Wonwoo almost throw up. Odd.
“You know if you don’t make a move, he won’t even know right? I know you think he’s one of the smartest but in the romance field, I think even fucking Jihoon beats him at that.” 
Or perhaps Wonwoo was just very oblivious to how much you liked him. 
You shook your head at Mingyu’s words as you both walked up to his apartment, the butterflies in your stomach already churning at the thought that Wonwoo was likely home. 
“And also it’s getting concerning how much time you spend in my apartment for the sake of him, like at this point just move in you creep—HEY!Ow!— that hurt you ass!”
“It’s not that easy,Gyu,he’s – he’s Wonwoo for God’s sake!”
“That’s exactly why it’s easy! It’s Wonwoo! Be direct with him. I’ve known him for years and trust me, he won’t know until you spit it out to him!”
Maybe…maybe he was right. Afterall he had been friends with Wonwoo before even knowing you.
“What if he doesn’t even feel the same–”
“Be serious. He literally looks like a lovesick fool when you’re over–”
“Maybe he’s just sick of me coming over.”
Mingyu stopped walking and you didn’t even realize until you were a few steps ahead. Pausing when you finally saw he wasn’t beside you.
His expression was like he was close to ripping out his hair from frustration while also being flabbergasted. It was kinda hilarious and you had to gulp to prevent laughing because you were sure he might just kill you.
“Okay! Okay, fine– I'll listen to you– maybe not confess today! But I'll ask if we can hangout or something,happy?”
“Very.” 
You rolled your eyes at his words as you both began climbing up the stairs, telling him to shush with his teasing as the tips of your ears began to feel warm and the blood rushed to your cheeks with every scenario you imagined.
Maybe if you thought that the upcoming scenario would ever occur. it would have hurt less. 
As you waited for Mingyu to pull out his keys, you could feel your nerves igniting through your skin and your stomach churning. But before Mingyu could insert the key, the door opened.
You wouldn’t have questioned anything, if it weren’t for the obvious messy hair, hickey marks trailing down her exposed neck and of course, the star of your daydreams right behind her, standing with a surprised face.
It was obvious what had occurred, the confirmation lying in the bruises on his neck. 
“Woah–uh.” Mingyu stuttered awkwardly, and you could feel his sympathy as he glanced at you. You couldn’t think of anything else other than how…right you were and how wrong Mingyu was.
You didn’t know who she was but it wasn’t her fault. Or anyone’s. Maybe yours. So as a weird tension simmered through the air, you looked away from them and just turned to Mingyu. 
And for the first time in his life probably, he was lost. Jeon Wonwoo was lost because why did he just feel like he committed a crime when he wasn’t even yours anyways?
He hated the way you looked away, not missing the hurt that flashed across your eyes as you realized what he probably was doing. 
You didn’t even notice she’d already left, smiling at Wonwoo and signing him to call her back, again. Probably not the first time, you thought.
“Uh-Gyu- I’ll go now, It’s getting late for me anyways,”
You really tried to stop your voice from cracking, the lump in your throat making you want to choke and die then and there. So you just looked at Mingyu, purposefully ignoring the way he looked at you in sympathy. 
His stare seemed to burn into your side profile. The words on the tip of his tongue, but what? It all felt like a lot but nothing at the same time. Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. 
Nodding goodbye to Mingyu and glancing at Wonwoo, offering a tight lipped smile as you waved, and then without saying anything you turned around. 
Mingyu frowned. His best friend couldn’t own up to his feelings for you and just when you were about to take a step forward, he somehow ended up fucking it up completely. 
What a mess. 
“Come on, we need to talk.”
Mingyu said seriously, putting an arm over Wonwoo’s shoulders, albeit a little forcefully which caused the other boy to almost stumble over. 
It seemed it was now up to him now to sort out this mess and hopefully it doesn’t get worse from here.
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✩₊˚. | mingyu.
Being the new captain of the basketball team had its perks. Sure, you now officially got tagged as a ‘jock’, a title in itself that held its own benefits, probably more than just when you were another player in the team. 
But its disadvantages seemed more at the moment when you found yourself under the angered gaze of none other than Yoon Jiwoo. Another player of the basketball team. Shooting guard was the position.
By all means, it wasn’t your fault she was not captain, it was her own actions that did not get her the position. And plus, it wasn’t like it was bad not being a captain, Yeri was a small forward, yet probably the best one at it. So it was at the end of the day, nothing to you but just more responsibilities with the title. 
Plus, it was also voted by the rest of the players that you deserved to be captain this time when it was time to appoint a new captain. Jiwoo had been a captain before Lisa became that year, but she left and so there had to be a new choice made. 
With Jiwoo’s unfair hatred towards you, also came a similar animosity from her group of friends. Well you think Jiwoo wants them to share the same feelings as she does but you doubt they care enough, usually neutral towards you or sympathetic even as they tried to reason her animosity being useless.
They were five or six if you could remember correctly from the times they’d drop her to practice or come to pick her up sometimes. Apparently one of them was her cousin Yoon Jeonghan and you could surely see the similarities in them from the way unrealistically attractive they both looked. 
But the one that stuck out most to you was Kim Mingyu. Her best friend. And the one who supposedly hated you the most, after her that is.
Then why did he feel anything but hate? He couldn’t stop looking at you during your practice when he stuck around to wait for Jiwoo, as if in a trance as his gaze remained on you.
He couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up when you grinned so widely as you scored, tackling your teammate in a hug. Why was he suddenly envious of the people who got to experience your joy? 
In his defense, he liked you way before you were even captain. It was probably since the day he first saw you try for the teams and he thinks it was fate that he got to stumble onto you that one sunny afternoon. 
You were nervous for your trials and he was nervous from the way your hair prettily rested on your cheeks and made you almost glow in the sun. Yeah, he was convinced it was love at first sight.
Though he feels liking his best friend’s rival was…confusing. He didn’t know if he could take a side or if he should even question taking a side. 
“You pushed them on purpose Jiwoo!” Yeri yelled at her as she held you upright. You couldn’t even make out some of the words as you focused on the pain shooting up your ankle from the way it twisted. 
“We all saw it, stop acting like you did nothing!”
“Exactly, you have this weird hate boner for them since you couldn’t get your stupid captain title!” 
You were sure the first voice was Chaewon while the other was Yeri.
“Why are you all ganging up on me? It wasn’t on purpose! Ask-ask someone else as well!” Her voice got louder and louder as she finished her sentence. She didn’t expect people to take your side. Although her plan was just a little shove to keep you off balance as she got the ball in her hand, she did not expect you to twist your ankle completely. 
“It’s fine- just- just leave it. It was a mistake, I just-” Your words were cut off as you hissed out in pain again as you attempted to get up, only to tumble down again, luckily held up by Yeri and Chaewon.
They sat you down on the bench as they huddled around you in a panic. You pulled off your shoes, scrunching your nose from the smell but the pain quickly took your focus from that.
 “Hey! What’s going on?” You heard someone say as they entered, their voice familiar to you. Mingyu had come to pick up Jiwoo as usual, not knowing she left sneakily when they were focused on you, when he saw everyone huddled together, confused when he couldn’t see you amongst the first few he saw. 
He didn’t need to peek over due to his well…giant form, but he saw you sat down in the middle as he got closer, caressing your leg. His eyes widened when he saw your ankle swollen up and an angry red shade that was definitely not natural.
“Shit that looks bad.” You looked up and you swore you thought you were hallucinating. Because no way was Kim Mingyu out of everyone looking at you with nothing but worry and concern. He still looked…good. As always. Per usual. You think you got distracted from your pain for just a minute as you stared at him for a few seconds, him seemingly not noticing as he kept his eyes on your ankle.
“Blame your girlfriend.” Yeri scowled as she spitefully retorted, as Chaewon dug her elbow into her side to which she yelped and glared at her. 
“Girlfriend?” He turned his attention towards her, resembling a confused puppy as he raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Yeri.” You spoke up firmly before she could say anything, looking at her with a look that told her to keep her mouth shut,not wanting to make this a bigger scene than it already was. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ultimately not saying anything.
You moved your leg around for a bit, deciding you should give it a go again to stand up, and drag yourself to the infirmary. And when you did stand up, it seemed you really overestimated yourself or perhaps underestimated your injury because next thing you knew you lost balance again.
But lucky for you, instead of landing right on the wooden floors and having a blistered lip, you landed right on Kim Mingyu. It only occurred to you now just how much taller than you he was when his whole form almost engulfed you.
“Woah. Take it easy, you’ll get hurt more.” He had wrapped one hand on your waist while the other held your arm. You think his touch burnt you more than anything because you felt yourself begin to warm up. 
“How about I take you to the infirmary? Sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I was just confused on what Yeri said and-”
“It’s-uh-it’s fine- I’ll go by myself-”
“Are you crazy?! You can’t even stand!”
You blinked, taken aback by his words, even more so with just how concerned he seemed,his eyes glistening with it. 
Kim Mingyu was someone you thought you knew but apparently you did not because a few minutes later, you found yourself being piggy-backed by him to the infirmary as he was scolding you about taking better care of yourself. 
You tried to reason that Yeri and Chaewon would take you but they both were adamant on Mingyu taking you, while they would go and look for a certain someone ( You prayed they would not be kicked out of the team).
His grip on your thighs, his shampoo that you could smell, his shoulders that were just so��so broad you couldn’t even fully wrap your arms around them…just him felt so overwhelming. Your pain was long forgotten as you tried not to freak out over how you were currently feeling over him.
But with the way he seemed, the way he acted, was it wrong to assume that perhaps, there was a possibility these feelings weren’t so one-sided?
Well, only one way to find out. 
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₊˚⊹⋆ | vernon.
They say people shine their best when they are in their element doing what they love. But to you, Chwe Vernon shone even in the dimmest lights as he sat down in front of you.
It was just a few minutes before their gig. Him and his friends ; Jungkook, Mingyu and Eunwoo from what you remember, were all a part of an upcoming rock band. They were actually gaining more fame as time passed and you were proud to be one of the few who witnessed their growth from the beginning. 
They began from your small bar right in the downtown area where you worked as a bartender, you remembered their first performance, you were told it was their first gig actually. Now they are close to being signed up by a company, still wanting to perform one last time at the place where it all began. 
To you, he was the boy you’d always admire from afar, knowing there was no actual probability of him seeing you in that light. Even now, considering their gaining fame, you’d see the type of people that would swoon over him, even a few celebrities and models you remember. 
He was…a star. Far away and admirable but never in your reach. And stars are better to admire than seek anyways.
Though, it seemed your star wasn’t that far away from you as you thought. In fact he was much closer to you than you could even comprehend. 
In other words, Chwe Vernon was head over heels from you. Since the first time he performed and spotted you when you were busy serving drinks, since the time you told him how great they performed as he sat down in front of you while you talked about what interested you, your eyes gleaming under the dim bar light. And he thinks it was very much obvious what felt when he saw your wide grin, dimples poking out as you finally served him his drink. 
Whisky wasn’t something he liked, but you had recommended a certain combination with it and he thinks nothing else tasted sweeter that day. 
Sadly everyone around you but you saw that. Too focused on how you weren’t ever going to be a possibility because you thought he was just unattainable instead of thinking of the probability of just how much he may have liked you. 
“Nervous?” You smiled at him as you finished setting up the remaining glasses for the night, ready to serve knowing it would be a very busier night than usual due to them performing. 
Yes, yes he was nervous but not because of performing but because he was about to confess. 
“Haha- yeah- no! I mean uhm no- we’re- we’ll be fine.” He wanted to cuss at himself for stuttering, probably looking foolish, but he thought it was fine when he heard your giggle as you shook your head. 
“Oh you are. You’re already the best and I assume and hope it’ll only get better from now on.”
With you. It would get better with you because anything feels better with you. 
He wishes he could say it out loud, but maybe soon enough. That is if you don’t reject him. Yeah he doesn’t know what he’ll do if you do. Throw up probably. Or die. Dying seems good actually, he thinks. 
“Vernon? Here.” He snapped out of his thoughts as he blinked, looking down at the drink in front of him, confused because he didn’t order anything.
“On the house, from me. It’s my favorite drink actually. I-uh hope you like it.” He thinks even if you served him garbage he’d still be delighted, extreme but meh it was close to how he fell for you. Extreme and down bad.
“Oh then I’ll love it for sure.” Because I love you. 
Your grin grew wider as you were about to say something, you heard your name being called by your co-worker.
“Oh- I’m sorry I have to go now! I’ll be here when you perform for sure! Good luck!” 
“It’s okay, you’ll be here afterward.” 
You looked at him apologetically as he shook his head, knowing you were just doing your job and nodding to you to go, to which you waved goodbye at him. 
Perhaps you really underestimated your own words because apparently you couldn’t make it there. You were called by your mother who had gotten sick at home and needed someone to take care of her. 
You thought about whether you should inform Vernon but figured it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal, telling your co-worker to let him know in case he asked afterwards but you doubt he would, probably exhausted after the long night. You forgot your co-worker was switching shifts mid-way with another one, one who would obviously not know your whereabouts. 
And now as he got ready to sing the song he’d written for you, for you with very obvious lyrics about you, the moments with you, he searched for you but…you were nowhere. 
You weren’t there. 
Did you find out? Did you know? Did you think it was too much? 
All the questions arose in his mind as he shut his eyes and breathed in to calm himself. He couldn’t lose his cool on stage when there were so many fans waiting for him to perform.
He looked at his bandmates, and shook his head, not wanting to look at them again as they looked at him sympathetically.
“That’s it for tonight! We hope you continue supporting us in the future! Have a goodnight Seoul!” 
He said and this time as he felt anything but content, his heart heavier than ever and mind in a haze. 
Maybe in this lifetime, you’d both remain two separate stars. Far and never-crossing. 
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all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.
writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024
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princessmaybank · 9 months ago
Text
Public Play Time
Pairings: Dark!JJ x Fem!Reader
Warnings: FWB, name calling, public play, vibrator, fingering, rubbing, squirting, voyeurism (?), cumming, teasing, degrading, humiliation, etc.
Summary: JJ got a new toy for you two to play with.
Authors Note: If I missed anything let me know! Also I love hearing what you guys think! It's not required to leave comments but it is very much appreciated! I hope you enjoy!
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JJ smirked and scrolled his thumb up his phone. You squeezed your legs together and gave JJ the 'im gonna kill you' face. "Are you okay Y/N?" Sarah asked sounding concerned. You nod your head in response then took a deep breath as you felt the buzzing inside of you start to go away. "Yes I'm okay, I really have to pee though."
"Oh do you want me to go with you?" Sarah asked. "No, you really don't-" She cut you off. "Well, I have to pee now too, let's go." As Sarah tugged you away by your arm, you stared daggers into JJ's skull. He silently laughed at you as he watched you tut along to the mall's restrooms.
When you got into the bathroom, Sarah rushed to the end stall and locked herself in. You went into the farthest one from her that was available and not disgusting. All you could think of was taking this damn thing out, so you began pulling your pants down and reached for the vibrator. When your fingers wrapped around the tail, it suddenly turned on and you felt that amazing sensation again. You knew you had to keep quiet but without you knowing, a loud moan came from your lips.
"Are you okay Y/N?" You heard Sarah call from the sinks. "Yeah-yeah I'm awesome." You felt the vibrations increase speed, which unfortunately meant you could hear the sound it was making. "Uhm Y/N, are you sure you're okay? What's that sound?" She was now in front of your stall. You couldn't handle this, you reached down and quickly removed the pink toy from your hole. The power button was hard to find but when you did find it, it immediately stopped buzzing. You dropped the toy into your purse, flushed the toilet and walked to the sink. "Yes I'm fine, and I'm not sure what that was, you heard it too?" You played dumb.
Sarah only gave you a side eye as you walked out and caught up with everyone else at the food court. JJ was chatting with Kiara while Pope and John B were off in an arcade.
You and JJ aren't exclusive, you are kinda just friends with benefits, lots and lots of benefits. So you feel bad when you see Kiara rubbing up on JJ and get jealous. Lucky for you, JJ doesn't like her like that, and when he sees you, he has no problem bringing you into the conversation.
While the three of you are discussing what to get for lunch, you notice JJ pulling out his phone, ready to have a little fun with you. You smirk to yourself remembering what you did moments ago. As his finger glides across his phone screen, he looks to you with his lip between his teeth, waiting for a response that you never give. JJ quickly looked back at his app and saw the phrase 'not connected'. He immediately glared at you when he realized that you turned it off.
He couldn't make a big scene so he simply asked to have a private word with you. Kiara walked around trying to decide on what to eat. JJ pulled you into the hallway that leads to the bathroom and pinned you against the wall.
"Fess up princess" His eyes were dark, he was clearly upset. "To what Jayj? I didn't do anything." You taunted him, never taking your eyes away from his.
He threw his hands under your skirt, moved your panties to the side and stuck two digits inside your soaked pussy. "Jay-" You moaned into his shoulder but he cut you off. "I knew you were lying, you can't hide anything from me, slut." He whispered in your ear while slowly moving his fingers in and out. "Someone might see-" You pleaded. "I don't give a flying fuck princess. Let them look, maybe you'll learn a lesson."
He snuck his fingers into your purse while his other hand was playing with your heat. When he felt the oval shape he remembered, he pulled it out slowly making sure to not alert you. When he was ready and had the toy turned on, he pulled out his fingers and just as you were getting ready to complain, he shoved the toy back inside you. "I never said we were done playing princess." JJ opened his phone and made the toy start buzzing. "Now you're gonna be a good girl while we eat with our friends. No moving, no whimpering, and especially no cumming." He moved his hand to your face and gave your cheek a little slap. "Got that princess?" JJ grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him. As you shook your head yes, he sucked his teeth. "You know I need you to use your words." His eyes were somehow darker and you were already squirming from the pleasure between your legs. "Come on, you at least know how to say yes and no, right?" He teased. When you finally worked up some courage to answer he slapped your clit. You moaned from the pain and pleasure it caused. "Stop being a dumbass and answer me you fuckin' slut!" His voice was demanding, he was getting louder and people were giving small glances.
He caught you looking around as people began watching you. Like he said, he didn't mind people looking, so he put his hand in your panties and rubbed your clit while his other hand controlled the vibrator.
"Is this a turn on for you? Being degraded and humiliated in public?" He whispered in your ear making sure you could see the faces of people gathering to see you. "Jayj- th-this is wrong-" He cut you off once again but this time with a harder slap to the face. That caused pretty much everyone to walk away from the situation. "What was that? I thought you liked being treated like the skank you are? You didn't wanna fucking answer, I'll make you answer." Your eyes started brimming with tears. This was becoming too much but you felt your orgasm coming. "Oh look at the little baby, you're crying now too? You're being a little bitch, just cum. Since you clearly can't handle the pressure." That was enough to throw you over the edge. You thought you were just cumming until you felt the explosion of liquid come from your tired hole.
"And after all that, we learn that you can squirt. Look at the fuckin mess you made, someone is gonna have to clean that shit up. They'll think 'I wonder what whore did this.' and it's you, you will know that you're the whore that made this fuckin mess for them."
There couldn't have been better timing for Sarah to walk down there. She looked between the both of you and giggled. "I knew it was you two everyone is talking about." She started walking to the bathroom. "What do you mean?" You try and fix your appearance and pretend you have no idea what's happening but Sarah isn't stupid. She gave you both a smirk and crossed her arms. "Omg you guys have totally got to check it out, some hot blonde is finger banging his girlfriend in the hall!" She recited the words she heard from one of the girls sitting at the table next to the group. "Not to mention everyone else saying things about what you two were wearing, AND you guys have been gone for an unreasonable amount of time. But at least you got your kicks." Sarah giggled and walked into the bathroom.
JJ planted a kiss on your cheek. "Sorry I slapped you. I was really turned on." You smiled and looked back at him. "Was?" He gave an awkward smile and pointed to his shorts which now had a wet patch gracing the front. You couldn't help but giggle at him. "I guess we can call it even. But let's get you and this mess cleaned up." You started pushing him to the guys room. "Okay but let's just go home after please, I don't know if I can stand the looks on their faces right now." He whined. "Look who's being a little bitch now." He rolled his eyes with a small laugh.
After everything was cleaned up you walked out with JJ, everyone's eyes were on both of you. A few guys that JJ knew shouted and clapped for him as you were trying to hide your face. When you sat down in front of the group, you could feel everyone glaring. "Did you have a good talk?" Kiara asked. "Learn anything new?" Pope poked. "Have some fun?" Sarah winked. "Did you get your dick wet?" John B teased which resulted in JJ throwing napkins at him. "What? I heard the hallway was flooded!" He teased some more.
Eventually you moved past the topic and you had some PG fun at the mall. When it was time to leave you headed to the Twinkie and JJ walked behind you with his arms around your shoulders and he gave you little kisses on the neck. "Hey Maybank! I don't need my van flooded too! Hands off!" John B yelled back at JJ while he put the keys in the ignition. "Yes sir!" He saluted John B and got in the van. The rest of the ride home and the night at the chateau were filled with jokes and teasing moments for the two of you. The girls even took you while the guys took JJ and prodded you both with questions. "Would you ever do it again?!" Kiara asked. "Absolutely."
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