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motherismotheringggg · 1 month ago

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SLOW BURN

okay wow my first public fic — i’m terrified so pls be kind but feedback is OF COURSE welcome!!

type: female reader x nicholas chaves x cooper koch

(^this is the greed they talked about in the bible 🤭)

tags/warnings: 18+; nsfw; smut lite; kissing; fingering; groping (i think that’s it!!)

word count: 7317 (i was gonna post it in parts but i changed my mind)

*used AI to help organize structure

pt.2 out now!!!!

pt.3 out now!!!!

⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️⛺️

You and your friend Vanessa laughed as you walked into the cafeteria of Camp White Water from a joke that had you both laughing since you both got ready and started heading toward the first day of camp counselor training.

This was your second summer of being a camp counselor at this month-and-a-half long sleep away camp. And you always looked forward to it, the leadership staff was always kind, the campers were actually not too bad and the other counselors were your favorite. All of the returners had become super close and it was super exciting to be reconnected with them when summer rolled around.

This year there were a few new counselors because of the amount of campers that were coming in this summer, particularly in your group. That being said, you were given two new co-counselors.

You and Vanessa were still in stitches about whatever joke had been continuing when you got closer to your assigned table, you noticed your name card with your name between two other name cards, one read “Nicholas Chaves” and the other “Cooper Koch”.

“Whoa..two news guys?” You were surprised, you expected to at least have another returner on your side, “Do they think I’m responsible enough to train two newbies?” you chuckled as you sat on the cafeteria bench.

“Well if they’re dumb and hot, send them over to the young eagles team, I’d love to have fresh meat”, Vanessa gestured to her table with Gene who was the oldest camp counselor and a bit of a gangly man who meant well but wasn’t exactly summer camp eye candy.

You both looked in his direction and giggled, “Hey Gene! You look ripped this summer. I’ll send her over to you in a second” you called out, causing Vanessa to laugh even harder.

As you both continued cackling in a room full of lively conversation, the group of new counselors walked in, it was tradition that the current counselors applaud them as a bit of a harmless hazing ritual.

You clapped and laughed with your friend as the newbies looked around excited but nervously for their name tags. In the middle of your giggling, you noticed two men stopped at your table and started settling in, “this must be them” you thought.

Copper was tall and broad. He had hazel brown eyes and deep brown curly hair. He was wearing a gray zip-up hoodie and tennis shorts and you could tell from his leg muscles that he was in good shape. He had soft features that made you feel immediately calm and at ease - safe almost.

Nicholas was the opposite, he had straight hair and darker eyes. His face was very chiseled, his jawline was impeccable. He had a defined and muscular physique, which stood out even when he’s dressed casually in his shorts and long sleeve college shirt.

He was also tall with broad shoulders but his muscles were more pronounced - a strong chest, and visible arm muscles that give him a commanding presence.

“Hey guys, I’m Y/N”! Cooper went for a handshake, which was too formal for you, without thinking you went in for a hug. You figured you’d get close through the summer like the rest of the counselors.

Cooper was caught off guard but quickly adjusted to the hug, Nicholas was a little reserved but even with just a side hug you felt his biceps take you in completely. They sat on either side of you and you started talking about your experience at the camp the group you’ll have this year.

The camp director gave some opening remarks and then the assistant director had you all start with those cringey ice breakers. He went around and gave out a stack of cards to each group that had random questions on it.

When he got your table, he said “Ah Y/N, happy to see you back again! Boys you’re in good hands, she’s a pro.” You playfully shooed him away to be humble. “I mean it, but you also have some star athletes next to you. Cooper and Nicholas were both finalists in the west end tennis conference and since you’re working on rec fit this year, it should be perfect!”

“Tennis boys huh?” you gestured to your co- counselors, “I knew those builds weren't for nothing” you jokingly nudged both of them in the side. Cooper giggled and you finally got Nick to crack a smile and loosen up.

The ice breakers were stupid but kind of fun and they opened up more conversation; “if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?” turned into you three talking about your families, “what three things would you need on a deserted island” turned into talking about your favorite vacation spot and “what;s your morning routine” let the guys start to talk about their training which you found…hot. The way they describe conditioning and training completely hypnotized you, like you could understand it but just barely. And watching them interact was a real treat, Cooper was very funny and lighthearted but still very direct and expressive in his words. Nicholas was very sincere in everything and said it with such conviction, even if he was joking it came out so earnestly you thought he was being serious.

Later, for training you all got to wander the camp site as groups. The three of you found yourselves sitting on one of the picnic benches along the trail route, the ice was finally broken so the conversation flowed very casually.

It started to get a little warmer out, too warm for a hoodie so both you and Cooper took yours off. Cooper was wearing a tank top that revealed even more of his physique and you were wearing a stretchy tank top body suit. Realizing this was the first time they've seen your arms, they noticed you had a few tattoos and were both instantly intrigued. "You have tattoos?" Cooper asked, his voice more excited than you expected.

"Yeah, just a few!” You started pointing them out to Cooper while he walked around your body to get a closer look at each one. “I got this one with one of my friends, they are not quite matching but they’re similar” you went on.

Nicholas was also listening to you talk about your tattoos but he wasn’t as outwardly interested as Cooper was. He mostly just nodded in approval after you explained each tattoo. It wasn’t until you bent a certain way to show Cooper a different tattoo that your tennis skirt raised a little, revealing the very bottom of a tattoo on your thigh. "Is that… another one?" Nicholas asked, gesturing to your thigh, catching you off guard.

You blinked. "Oh, yeah," you replied, laughing lightly. "Good eye." You hadn’t expected him to notice that one—it was usually pretty hidden. But it wasn’t awkward and you were happy he actually spoke. “Yeah it’s just my zodiac constellation, I just thought it was cute, maybe a little stupid to get that tatted but I like it”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Nicholas replied, more confidently this time. Cooper nodded in agreement.

“In fact,” Nicholas stood up and took off his bookbag “As long as we’re showing off our sick ink…”. You and Cooper’s eyes widened, you had no idea what this man, who had been fairly silent this whole time, was about to show. He took off his shirt and revealed his perfect abs. They looked like they were chiseled from marble but also soft like flesh. You cleared your throat and gathered yourself. You glanced over at Cooper who was equally entranced by Nicholas’ body.

“What do you think?” Nicholas posed in front of you two and you both looked confused, “I thought we were just showing off tattoos, not seeing who’s built like an adonis” Cooper joked.

You laughed, “yeah, this is a summer camp so the chance to take off your shirt was coming soon enough” you added.

Nicholas laughed back, “no get closer, it’s there!” You and Cooper looked at each other and then got closer to his man’s perfect body and there it was, two small tattoos under both pecs, a smiley face and a frowny face.

‘Totally sick ink right?” Nicholas joked in a surfer voice, you and Cooper threw your heads back in laughter as you jokingly agreed. “It certainly is … ink on your skin,” Cooper added.

“They were stick-and-pokes I did in college just for fun, you can even feel the weird texture of them,” Nicholas said. Without missing a beat, he grabbed Cooper's hand and placed it on the small tattoo. You had to find a way to act normal about this but this was incredibly hot. Two gorgeous men essentially groping each other in the woods felt like something out of a fan fic.

Nicholas looked at you and said, “Don’t be shy, I don’t bite”, in a quiet gravely voice. You felt your shoulders drop and your eyes widened, internally you thought “what is happening right now??”

You used your finger tips to feel the tattoo but followed Cooper’s lead and also felt his chest too. Nicholas would glance down at you two feeling him with his breath hitching just a little. Cooper was into the moment, you were still taken aback. Before this moment could progress, the camp alarm blared calling us all back in for dinner.

For dinner, groups got to mix and mingle so you and Vanessa decided your groups should eat together. Dinner was fine, you were fine. It seemed odd that these two boys who were basically mute at the beginning of the day had this moment earlier with you and were now just so chill about it. But you were going to match their vibe and keep it lowkey.

After dinner, you were all texting and realized you wanted a sweet treat so you went off-site and ended up at this diner a few miles from the camp. You three sat in this round corner booth and just talked about each other.

It was getting progressively later and later in the night and you felt yourself getting tired. Cooper went to the bathroom before you all headed out and you instinctively rested your head on Nicholas’s shoulder. Completely forgetting what happened earlier and just needing a place to rest for a minute.

It took him no time to accommodate your needs and lift his arm up so you could properly get close. He pulled you close to his chest and rubbed your arm as you slightly drifted in his arms.

You all drove in your car there but Nicholas saw how tired you both were so he offered to drive. “Give daddy the keys” he gestured to you to throw them in his direction, “I’ll get us back safe”. You mentally noted that he called himself daddy and tossed him your keys. “You both should ride in the back seat because if you're up here yawning by me that could be dangerous”.

You and Cooper hopped in the back seat and again, you just wanted to lay down, so Cooper sat upright and you laid down with your head in his lap. He also wanted to make you feel comfortable so he started stroking your cheek and did that for the entire ride back to camp.

---

The next morning was Special Classes day, all the counselors would be in various groups to get trained on the specialized activities for the camp this summer. Swimming, archery, arts and crafts, home ec, etc., you were partnered with Nicholas in the swim group while Cooper took the archery class.

The sun beat down on the lake, making the water glisten. You all had been in and out of the water several times for various tests. Every time you glanced at Nick and noticed the way the water drops would sit in between the ridges of his abs you felt something electric in you.

“You all have done a fantastic job today,” the instructor addressed the group, “and we wrapped up earlier than I thought so that’s good. Feel free to go for a free swim or head out until your next activity.”

You and Nicholas non-verbally agreed to head out but not before the instructor asked you both to take some supplies to the first aid shed before you left out. You wrapped a towel around your body and Nicholas wheeled the cart of medical supplies.

When you got the shed, which was more of a small cottage, you held open the door while Nicholas wheeled the items in. He started putting them away while you just stood and watched. Watching the way his back muscles moved with every action, the way he towered next to the shelves and how broad he looked from the back.

He turned to see you checking him out and chuckled to himself, “do you mind helping me out a little?” a smirk brandishing on his face.

You didn’t hear what he asked you when you were in your trance so he chuckled again, a little louder this time, “they’re getting lower in the wagon, could you hand them to me?” he asked again.

“Oh my bad – yeah of course! Sorry, I was just thinking about dinner or something” you tried to cover your tracks in the worst way possible, “or ‘something’ is right” he retorted back, you felt your face get hot.

When you were finished putting the boxes away, you wheeled the cart to where the other storage containers were and joined him back in the main room. The shed was so warm so neither one of you wanted to leave. Nick went to sit down in a chair by the desk in the room. There were papers on top of the chair he went to move but when he picked them up he got a paper cut.

“Shit,” he hissed “oh my god” your eyes widened. It wasn’t a lot of blood but you could yell it hurt because he kept hissing in pain. At one point he even hissed your name asking you to grab him a paper towel and you felt your heart skip a little.

He sat on the chair while you cleaned him up and gave him a bandaid. Once you got him squared away and you put the kit back on the shelf, you just kind of stood in front of him. There was nowhere else to go and not much to say.

He grabbed your hand, closing the distance between you two, pulling you toward him “the old ‘nurse me back to health’ trope huh? What a classic” he joked in a low gravely voice

“You’re so annoying”, you whined jokingly pushing away, as his one hand placed your arm on his shoulder and the other wrapped around your waist.

You caressed the side of his face with one hand, contemplating if this was really about to happen. You just met this guy yesterday - but you have already felt his pecs, cuddled with him in public and let him call himself daddy.

You leaned down and hovered in front of his mouth, “don’t make me beg” he whispered as he moved closer to plant his lips on yours. It started slow but very deliberate, he was soft but sturdy, your knees felt weak and you could feel him holding you up with the strength of his arm alone.

He took more initiative in the kiss and started taking control, his tongue now fighting for dominance in your mouth and he pulled you down into a straddling position on to his lap, never breaking apart. The more intense he got the more inhaled and exhaled sharply, the breathing made it all so much hotter. He started kissing down your neck, using his hands to guide which way you leaned your head to receive him.

He got to your ear and whispered , “I wanted you the second I saw you”, and started kissing and licking your collarbone, “you’re so perfect” he said into your neck before biting and sucking at various spots. While he worked on a particular part of your neck – biting and sucking, making you moan his name. He started to lower your bathing suit strap to reveal your soft wet breasts.

He looked at you as he kissed down your chest and gently placed it in his mouth, sucking and licking at the nipple making you thrash in excitement. You moaned his name out loud again, he switched to the other breast with the same licking and sucking motion while using his hand to play with the nipple of the other. You felt a rush when he moaned, it sent a vibration through your body that you felt it below.

He was so attuned with your body, he knew you could feel the excitement pooling down there and went to feel you over the bathing suit down there. Your back arched the second he touched you, your breath shaky. You locked lips again as he continued to graze it.

Just as you went to reach down to feel him hard through his trunks, the camp alarm sounded, calling everyone back to the main area. The rudeness of the alarm made you two separate and understand what you were really doing.

When you both come down from the euphoric feeling of being wrapped up in another stranger, you pulled your straps back up to cover yourself and he helped you off him. He pushed the chair back, you grabbed the towels both of you came in with and left, not saying a word.

When you joined the group again, you had to sit with your team. You and Nicholas found Cooper and sat on either side of him, typically you had been in the middle of them two but you needed a little distance from Nicholas at the moment.

“You guys are still in your swim stuff? I saw you guys wrapped up earlier than us” Cooper genuinely asked

There was a pause that needed to be filled, you went to speak but Nicholas also started, you both stopped and almost started again and then stopped fully and there was another long pause

“Oh no that's fine, that’s totally how normal people answer a question” Cooper said sarcastically.

---

The next day of training, returners and new counselors had separate schedules. This was perfect because after yesterday, it’s not that you were avoiding Nicholas but you certainly needed a break and time to process how this all progressed so quickly.

That night, in the cafeteria certain counselors signed up for different kitchen shifts, you and Cooper got put on clean up duty. When dinner was wrapping up Nicholas hung around for as long as possible. It wasn’t weird, there was an energy between you two but mostly he just hung around to talk to Cooper. You kept a distance and participated in the conversation from afar.

Cooper went to the back to handle the trashtrash and you were clearing off tables. Nicholas stood up to leave and called you over. You didn't know what he was going to say, was he going to ask you why haven't we talked? Does he want to have sex? Does he have a girlfriend? Every thought ran through your mind as you walked over to him from a few tables over.

You got to him and asked “what’s up?” he paused, stood up and looked down at you. He used his fingers to lift your face in his direction and planted another kiss on you right then and there, without a care in the world. His lips were soft and plush, you felt yourself melt into him from how smooth it was.

“Let me know if we’re doing another sweet treat run tonight” he said just a few inches from your mouth and walked out.

You were floored, who is this man? That kiss was so comfortable, as if you were his and he was yours. It felt natural and right to him.

You wiped down the counters while Cooper stocked and organized supplies for the next day’s meals, the silence between them was oddly comfortable. From the second you met them both Nicholas was a little harder to read and you felt like you had to do a little more to get his attention. Not that you necessarily wanted his attention but with Cooper, he immediately opened up. He was warm, comforting and quiet. He just felt safe.

When everything was done, you and Cooper sat on top of a table while the floors dried and ate ice cream. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he sat across from you criss-cross apple sauce style, him being easily over 6 ft and sitting to make himself look small was so endearing.

The more you talked the smaller the distance grew between you two. Your knees were touching and he was stroking your leg as you both continued talking, doting into each other’s eyes.

He glanced at you, a small smile playing at his lips. “You know, you’re probably the most beautiful person I’ve met.”

You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly. “Where’s this coming from?”

He finished his cone just in time to place both hands on your legs while he answered. His hands were large and strong, with veins subtly tracing the surface, hinting at a quiet power beneath his skin. The rough texture of his palms contrasted with the smoothness of his long fingers, which moved with a practiced, almost careful grace. There was something magnetic about the way they flexed, confident and capable, as if they knew exactly how to hold the world—firm, yet gentle.

“Just being honest. You’ve been, like… really good to me since day one. Everyone here is nice but you and Nick have made me feel comfortable here”, he said through a smile.

His words made your heart skip, but you tried to play it cool. “I mean, I hope you gave Nicholas thanks like this too, don’t want him feeling left out.” you let out a laugh and so did he.

“No, but it’s different with you,” he said, and this time, he didn’t look away. “I was nervous as hell coming here, and I wasn’t expecting anyone to make it easier, but you did. I didn’t feel out of place with you around. You’re, like, ridiculously sweet and also…” He trailed off, eyes scanning your face like he was debating how much to say. “You’re also, like, the most attractive person here.”

Suddenly you were in the same position you were in with Nicohlas in the shed, a moment of silence where nothing needed to be said, only action needed to be taken.

Copper leaned forward and quietly said, “I’m gonna kiss you now”

He leaned in slowly, his breath warm against your lips as he hesitated for a moment, savoring the closeness. His kiss started soft, tentative, like he was afraid to rush it, each movement deliberate and tender. His lips were gentle against yours, almost shy, and you could feel the slightest tremble in his touch. But as you pressed closer, he exhaled, letting go of his nerves, and the kiss deepened naturally. He found his rhythm, and what began as slow and cautious soon turned into something warmer, more fluid, their lips moving together with a sweet, unhurried certainty.

You felt his one hand on your thigh and the other slipped under your shirt, warm and steady against your skin. His fingers curled against your side, massaging gently as he explored the curve of your waist. Slowly, he moved his hand upward, caressing your breasts with a careful touch, his thumb tracing soft, deliberate circles until your body relaxed into his hands.

'Is this okay?' Cooper pulled away from the kiss, his forehead resting lightly against yours as he searched your eyes, his voice soft and filled with concern. The tenderness in his question only made you want him more."

You nodded, your breath hitching as his lips found yours again, this time with more confidence. His hand slipped back under your shirt, his movements unhurried but more intentional now, as though he wanted to savor every second of the moment. His thumb brushed across your skin, sending little sparks through your body, and you leaned into his touch, your hands finding their way to his hair. You tugged gently, and he let out a low, quiet groan that only made you pull him closer.

Cooper’s kisses grew deeper, more fluid as he relaxed into it, his earlier nervousness melting away. His hand continued to explore, fingertips dancing across your body as if he was learning every inch of you. There was something almost reverent in the way he touched you—gentle but filled with intent, as though he couldn’t believe this moment was real. He pulled you closer, his lips moving from your mouth to your jaw, then to your neck, his breath warm and steady against your skin as he took his time, each kiss slower than the last.

'You’re incredible,' he whispered against your neck, his voice rough with affection. The way he said it, so soft and unassuming, made your heart swell, and in that moment, you knew that every touch, every kiss, was laced with more than just desire.

You felt wrap his hands around you and he shifted his position to lay you down gently on the table. He continued kissing you on your neck, whispering praises softly in your ear while his hands smoothly roamed your body, “you’re so perfect”, “I need you”, “you’re a goddess”.

You felt his hand go lower and lower on your body until he got to your waistband. He pulled from the passionate kiss to look at you, he thought you were so beautiful in this moment. Frazzled from his passion, your eyes begging him to keep going. His fingers slipped into your shorts, but stopped, “are you sure?” Cooper asked you again, wanting to make sure you felt safe.

You pulled him down on top of you to kiss again and pushed his hand down so his fingers just grazed over the clit. His fingers continued to massage your area, with each pass you moaned into his mouth. Your kisses became deeper and frantic as you struggled to keep from completely unraveling from him.

“Let go for me baby”, he said with his forehead resting on yours. Before you could catch your breath his hand went lower and he angled his fingers at your entrance, your back arched in anticipation.

He pulled back completely so he could see your reaction to his fingers slipping inside if you. He traced around your entrance a little before slipping in his middle finger. You gasped and shuttered as his finger moved in and out, your moans turned to whimpers as he slipped in another finger.

You moaned out his name as his fingers curled inside of you hitting your spot. You had no control of your body, your body spasming from his touch which was getting deeper and faster by the minute, you were moaning so loud you didn’t care who heard you and your hands searched for some part of him to touch to return the favor. You reached out for his waistband, his hard member was pressed against his pants. You wanted to make him feel as good as he made you.

Just as you were about to return the favor, the camp alarm went off for a final roll call for bed. You and Cooper froze, reality settling back in as you both quickly gathered yourselves, adjusting clothes and catching your breath.

Cooper sat back with a sheepish grin, running a hand through his hair. 'I guess I got a little carried away,' he admitted, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he glanced at you, clearly still processing everything.

You smiled back, your heart still racing but now more from the situation than the moment before. 'It’s fine,' you said with a light shrug, your voice playful. 'It was fun... and now I think the favor's officially been returned for being so sweet.'

He let out a low chuckle, his eyes soft and warm as he looked at you.

---

A few days had passed, and while you hadn't been actively avoiding Cooper or Nicholas, you also hadn’t been seeking them out either. You needed a moment to clear your head after everything, to let the tension simmer down before the campers arrived. Still, you didn’t want things to feel awkward, so you invited them over to your cabin to help put together goodie bags for the kids. Your cabin mate was out for the night, so you even suggested they sleep over since their cabins were farther away. It was a subtle effort to show them you were cool, if they were cool. Even though every time one of them shifted closer, the heat between your legs was impossible to ignore.

You all worked in a comfortable rhythm, talking and laughing as you assembled the bags, until a song came on that sent Nicholas into nostalgic mode. His eyes lit up, and with a grin, he said, "This song always reminds me of my first kiss." You laughed.

Nicholas leaned back, his eyes dreamy with the memory. "Middle school. At a dance. I was so nervous I almost missed her lips entirely."

The three of you burst into laughter, and soon the conversation flowed into everyone sharing their stories, one kiss memory after another. Cooper shared about his first kiss behind the bleachers at a football game, and you talked about a spontaneous kiss under the basement steps of your friends’ house with her hot older brother. The mood was light and fun, each of you enjoying the trip down memory lane.

But then Cooper, ever the curious one, leaned forward, his tone more playful than usual. "So... has anyone here fooled around at camp before?" The question hung in the air for a moment, and you could feel the tension shift. You knew exactly why you were feeling awkward, but you noticed Nicholas’s smirk almost instantly. His eyes flicked between you and Cooper, as though daring one of you to speak first.

You opened your mouth, not entirely sure what you were going to say, when Nicholas took the chance. "Actually," he began, leaning forward with a glint of mischief in his eyes. "I’ve done it twice already. And both of them are in this room."

Your eyes shot open, heart hammering in your chest as you whipped your gaze to Nicholas. Cooper let out a surprised laugh, and for a moment, you were too stunned to speak. Wait—Cooper already knew? Your mind raced to piece it all together, the realization dawning on you like a light bulb flicking on. You’d hooked up with Nicholas. Cooper knew. And they had hooked up too?

"Hold up," you finally managed to say, your voice a mix of shock and curiosity. "You two—?"

Nicholas nodded, leaning back with an easy confidence, clearly enjoying your reaction. "After arts and crafts clean-up a few days ago," he said, glancing at Cooper with a smirk. "We were the only ones left in the room, and we ended up in that tiny back closet putting away supplies…”

Cooper chimed in, chuckling. "It was kind of inevitable. I mean, we were basically on top of each other. And then... one thing led to another. I pulled his shirt off and started kissing chest. He kissed down my neck. Mouths went places, hands went places and rest is a fogged up window.”

Your mind spun, trying to wrap around the image of Nicholas and Cooper together. You could practically picture it—the tension, the closeness, the heat of the moment in the small, confined space.

You swallowed, feeling the heat rise between the three of you again, but this time it was different. This wasn’t about embarrassment anymore—it was curiosity, excitement, a shared secret now out in the open.

Cooper and Nicholas exchanged a glance before bursting out into laughter. Cooper was the first to speak. "Oh, it was obvious," he said, still chuckling. "When you came to the camp meeting that day after special classes, the hickies already started forming on your neck. You weren’t exactly subtle."

Nicholas leaned forward with a mischievous grin. "And I tried to come back to the dining hall after I left that night you two had clean up duty and I heard you two making out in the distance, so I turned right back around."

The three of you erupted into laughter, the kind that shakes your whole body and makes your cheeks hurt. It was funny now, how you’d all tiptoed around it, trying to keep it secret when in reality, none of you had been fooling anyone.

When the laughter finally died down, Nicholas’s curiosity took over. "Okay, so... real talk. Who do you prefer more?" His eyes sparkled with playful competitiveness, and he leaned back with a smirk, clearly ready for whatever answer you had.

Cooper grinned, nudging your shoulder. "Yeah, no pressure, but... we’re all dying to know."

You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it was—being asked to choose between them like it was some kind of game. You paused for a moment, then gave a mock-serious look as you made a reference only you could deliver. "You know, it feels like Tyra Banks standing here with two contestants in front of her, and only one can stay."

Cooper burst out laughing, recognizing the reference immediately. "No way, you’re not about to do an America’s Next Top Model elimination on us right now!"

You grinned, savoring the dramatic moment. "But if I had to choose..." you began, your eyes darting between them, building suspense. Finally, you pointed to Cooper. "It’s you."

Cooper jumped up from the floor, arms raised in victory. "Yes! I knew it!" he shouted, dancing around the room like he’d just won a championship. Nicholas, meanwhile, was in mock shock, his mouth hanging open as he smiled at the absurdity of it all.

"You’ve got to be kidding me!" Nicholas exclaimed, shaking his head with a grin. "I thought I had this in the bag!"

You laughed, trying to calm the chaos around you. "Hooking up with you, Nick, was fun and spontaneous. But Cooper..." you turned to Cooper, who was still grinning like an idiot, "...was gentle, tender, and made me feel really special."

Cooper shrugged nonchalantly, though the satisfaction was clear on his face. "What can I say? I just know how to make a woman feel special."

Nicholas rolled his eyes but smiled anyway, leaning closer to you. "Okay, fine. But..." he gave you that familiar smirk, "...if you let me have another shot, I can be gentle too."

You raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh, yeah? You think so?"

He nodded, the playful tone in his voice now edged with something more serious. "Absolutely. If you’ll let me."

You smiled and nodded, your body buzzing with excitement. "Okay, I’m down."

With that, Nicholas took your hand and guided you to the bed. He sat down next to you and this time, there was no rush, no quick or hurried movements. He was slow, deliberate, his hands softer as they found your waist and pulled you gently toward him. He kissed you with a tenderness you hadn’t felt from him before, each movement careful, as though he was savoring the moment.

The heat between you built gradually, the tension thick in the air but controlled. Nicholas was taking his time, just like he promised. His lips moved against yours with a softness that surprised you, his hand sliding up your side in a slow caress that made your breath hitch. Compared to your first time hooking up, this was different—more intentional, more intimate.

You felt Cooper watching from the other side of the room, clearly entertained but also intrigued. Nicholas’s kiss deepened, but the pace stayed slow, methodical, as he explored every part of you with a newfound gentleness.

"Not bad," Cooper teased from the sidelines, his voice light but clearly enjoying the view. Nicholas smirked against your lips, but didn’t break the kiss, his focus entirely on you. He put his hand on his thigh and started messaging, working his way further and further up.

Nicholas parted from your lips to make his way down your neck. When you first hooked up, he would’ve started biting and sucking but this time he placed soft kisses on your neck, while lightly squeezing your thighs. He whispered in your ear “see, I can be anything you want me to be baby” he nearly whimpered in your ear.

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and your body quivered in response. You were melting into the moment, eyes closed, savoring the feeling, when suddenly, Nicholas pulled away. Your eyes shot open in confusion, the warmth of his body leaving yours too soon.

“Why’d you stop?” you asked, breathless, your lips tingling from his touch.

Nicholas smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Just wanted to show you I could be gentle,” he said with a wink, clearly enjoying how worked up he’d gotten you.

You let out a soft laugh, though you couldn’t help but still want more. “Well, you’ve definitely proven that,” you teased back, a smile tugging at your lips.

Cooper stepped in, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Well, if we’re all trying new things, maybe it’s time I take a shot at being more... aggressive."

You smiled wide as you agreed, Cooper crossed the room in a few long strides and came to sit next to you on the bed. He gently but firmly grabbed your face, pulling you to his direction. His lips met yours with a fiery intensity, pulling you on top of him and kissing you harder, deeper than before. His hands gripped your hips with a sense of urgency, and he moved faster, more aggressively, his kisses more forceful as he claimed your mouth. The energy was completely different from the gentle, careful approach Nicholas had just taken, but it was equally intoxicating.

You gasped against Cooper’s mouth as he pressed into you, his lips trailing down your neck with no hesitation this time. He kissed you with raw hunger, teeth grazing your skin, his hands roaming your body with confident, demanding touches that sent heat pooling low in your belly. Every move he made was firm, and you could feel the shift in energy—this was Cooper letting go, leaning into the moment with full force.

But out of the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Nicholas watching from where he stood, his eyes dark with anticipation. His gaze was hungry, eager, as if he didn’t care who he joined in on, just that he wanted to be wrapped between you and Cooper.

Cooper noticed it too, pausing briefly to glance over at Nicholas. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes flashed with a knowing look, as if he was silently inviting Nicholas to join. Then, in one smooth motion, Cooper gently but firmly placed you back on the bed, your body sinking into the softness of the blankets beneath you.

Nicholas didn’t need any further invitation.

He crossed the room and joined you both, sliding onto the bed with that same eager smirk he always wore. Without missing a beat, he moved in close, taking his place on one side of you while Cooper positioned himself on the other. You could feel Nicholas’s breath warm against your skin before his lips pressed to the side of your neck, the same spot Cooper had just claimed moments ago.

The sensation of both of them on either side of you was overwhelming, in the best way possible. Nicholas’s kisses were slow but deliberate, each one more lingering than the last, while Cooper’s lips moved more urgently, as though he couldn’t get enough. You were surrounded by them, their hands tracing up and down your body as their mouths explored your neck, your collarbone, the sensitive spots just below your ear.

Nicholas’s fingers skimmed across your waist, his touch light but teasing, while Cooper’s hand slid down your thigh, squeezing gently. The contrast between the two of them made your heart race, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft, involuntary moan as you sank deeper into the sensation.

“This is what you wanted, right?” Nicholas murmured against your neck, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine. “Both of us... all over you?”

Before you could answer, Cooper’s lips moved to your ear, his breath hot as he whispered, “Tell us what you like.”

You felt completely overwhelmed, your senses flooded by the way both Cooper and Nicholas were hitting every spot that made your body hum with pleasure. Nicholas's lips left soft, teasing kisses along your collarbone while Cooper’s hands roamed your body, his grip firm and sure. The contrast between their touches, one gentle, one rough, had your heart racing, and you were utterly lost in the sensation.

Needing more, you reached up, grabbing Cooper’s face and pulling him into a heated kiss. You matched his intensity, your lips moving hungrily against his, both of you completely giving in to the moment. His hands gripped your hips harder, pulling you closer, as if he wanted to devour you whole.

Meanwhile, Nicholas’s kisses continued to trail down your shoulder, slow and deliberate, each one sending shivers down your spine. His hands were patient, exploring every inch of your body with a calm but insistent touch, as if he wanted to memorize the way you felt beneath his fingers.

Cooper pulled away just long enough to tug your shirt over your head, and before you could even process it, Nicholas unhooked your bra with expert precision, leaving you bare in front of them. For a second, the weight of their gaze made you feel vulnerable—but the way they looked at you, eyes full of hunger and admiration, made the tension crackle in the air.

Without missing a beat, Nicholas’s lips found their way to your breast, his tongue tracing soft circles before he took your nipple into his mouth. The sensation sent a wave of heat through your body, and you gasped, arching into his touch. His mouth was gentle, but the pressure was enough to make your body ache for more.

At the same time, Cooper’s teeth grazed the sensitive skin of your neck, biting down just enough to leave a lingering sting that made you squirm in his grasp. His hands explored your back, pulling you flush against him, and every bite, every nip, felt like it was setting your skin on fire.

The combination of Nicholas’s slow, teasing kisses and Cooper’s rough, hungry bites made your mind spin. You could barely keep up with the sensations washing over you, your body reacting to every touch, every kiss, every movement. It was almost too much, but you couldn’t get enough.

“You’re perfect,” Nicholas whispered against your skin, his lips still trailing over your chest. “I could keep doing this all night.”

Cooper smirked against your neck, his hand sliding down your waist. “We might just have to.”.

#nicholas chavez #nicholas alexander chavez #cooper koch #nicholas chavez x reader #nicholas chavez x y/n #cooper koch x reader #cooper koch fanfic #nicholas chavez fanfiction #nicholas chavez smut #cooper koch smut #lavender baby #nasty remix #mother’s first fic 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

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golden-cherry · 10 months ago

Text

deal - cl16 (24/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: Furniture shopping is more exciting when there's talks about buying new stuff - like a bed.

Warnings: 18+ (mentions of smut), fluff, Kika is the bestest friend on this planet

Word Count: 3.4k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: hello loves! part twenty-four is here and I hope you enjoy it! feedback is appreciated!!!

The fact that Kika is just lying on your bed instead of snuggling up completely in your fluffy blanket is a miracle.

"I liked the light blue mom jeans best," she says as you stand in front of the large mirror leaning against the wall next to the door to your room and look at yourself. "With the white oversized turtleneck - smash."

You look at her through the mirror. "Haha."

"I'm serious." She leans on her elbows and tilts her head. "If you wear white sneakers with it, it'll even work with the sandwich method. I've seen it on TikTok. And I swear to you - people will turn their heads to look at you."

"I don't want people turning their heads at me," you confess quietly, adjusting the soft fabric of your top. "I just want to look halfway okay."

"Trust me. You look more than okay."

After Kika and Pierre have stormed your apartment with their spare key - which at first annoyed you, but in the next moment made you feel quite relieved - your girlfriend has taken it upon herself to unpack your suitcase and pick out an outfit for you that matches your trip to the furniture store.

Unpacking your suitcase simply consisted of pulling out one item at a time and tossing it aside if it didn't meet her expectations. The pile of clothes next to the bed is the result of her search.

" Let it go," she warns you as you adjust the position of the hem of the sweater on your shoulder. "You look good. When I think about my first outfit as Pierre's girlfriend - it was pure horror."

"But I'm not a girlfriend," you reply as you reach for the jeans Kika is holding out to you. "I'm his friend. His roommate. Nothing more," you exhale, "and nothing less."

The Portugese woman watches you slip into your pants. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Caught off guard, you look at her. Are your feelings for the Monegasque so obvious that she can even see it on your face? Is your affection written all over your forehead? You can't name your emotional state, you can't say a word that could even begin to describe what you feel for Charles - but there's no question that it's definitely something other than pure friendship.

No matter how often and vehemently you try to convince yourself that Charles is your friend, you are an incredibly bad liar.

"I remember being incredibly nervous the first time we went out in public. I think I changed outfits three or four times before I was halfway happy."

Oh.

You sit down on the edge of the bed with her. "I want all of this. I want him." You clear your throat as Kika gives you a meaningful look. "His friendship, that is. And I'm also willing to take the risk of people not liking me and talking badly about me." You clasp your hands in your lap.

Kika sits up straight. "But?"

You curl your lips into a thin line. "I - I don't know." How do you explain to her that you're worried that his fans could dislike you so much that they doubt Charles? You're going public as friends, something that bothers you a little more than it should. But the Monegasque has also said that people will think what they want.

What if they hate you so much - your looks, your mediocrity, your being - that Charles catches on and he realizes they're right in their opinion?

"I just want to make a good impression."

Your friend reaches for your hand. "You will. And after all, you're just friends. The public's opinion isn't all that important." You don't see her look, which says so much more than what she actually says.

"Right."

Kika lets go of your hand and stands up from the bed. "I'll be with you the whole time. We'll work it out. I promise." She tosses her long hair over her shoulder. "So, let's get going. This room is pretty bleak and could use some color," she says before pulling you off the bed and out of the room.

As you slip into your shoes at the front door, the men join you.

"So, Pierre and I are sitting -" Charles begins, but suddenly stops when he sees you. His eyes wander over your body and goose bumps spread along their path. He remains silent until Pierre nudges him. "Uhm, sorry. Yes. We - um - we're both going to sit in the front of the car because -" He scratches the back of his neck nervously, but can't take his eyes off you. "The plan is for Kika and you to go through the furniture store together and Pierre is coming with me. Just so that we are seen together as little as possible, but are still out and about together," he explains.

You understand why this is all going to happen. He wants to protect you and you want to let him, but you can't stop your heart from getting a little bruised.

When Kika notices your offended look, she crosses her arms in front of her chest. "So much planning for simple shopping with friends? Is that really necessary?"

As you look up from your shoes, you look straight into Charles' beautiful green eyes. Something that looks exactly like how you feel flickers across his face. "It is." He stands up straight. "Shall we?"

Kika smiles gently at you. "Let's liven this place up a bit, then." She grabs Pierre's hand and together the two of them walk out of the apartment towards the elevator, while Charles and you stay behind. You both look after them.

"Is everything all right?" asks the Monegasque and stands next to you.

"Everything's fine," you answer him curtly. You don't dare look at him.

"Y/N," he says as he gently grasps your wrist and turns you towards him. "Mon amour, you know why I'm doing this, don't you?" His hand slips a little lower so your fingers can intertwine.

"'Mh-hmm."

"Hey." His other hand rests gently against your cheek, making you look at him. "Hey." His thumb gently strokes your cheekbone. "I'm trying to protect you. That's my priority. Making sure you're okay is my priority. And if that means we can't walk through any stores next to each other for now, just so the public can get used to you, then I'll put up with it." His gaze twitches briefly to your mouth. "Even if it's not what I want."

You nuzzle your face against his warm hand. "And what do you want?" you ask softly.

"You."

His answer makes the blood sizzle in your veins. It feels as if the warmth of his skin is burning through your face, as if the nerve endings under your skin are sending little electric shocks through your muscles and forcing your heart to stop. You take a deep breath.

"I want you near me." He squeezes your hand twice before pulling away. Your skin feels cooler without his touch. "But I'm responsible for what happens in public. And I don't want to risk anything happening to you because of me."

You nod weakly before wordlessly following the befriended couple. You hear Charles behind you, but you don't wait for him as you walk quickly to the others. The atmosphere in the elevator is tense as you are transported towards the underground garage, but no one tries to ease the tension. Kika and Pierre look at each other a little uncertainly, something that doesn't escape your gaze, and you can't blame them. The situation is just awful.

Pierre has thought far ahead, because when he presses a button on his car key, a large SUV opens up in the underground parking garage, sure to fit some decorative items. Charles' Ferrari, or God forbid your old Renault, might have been able to fit a picture frame, or at most a small mirror.

You sit behind Charles, who has taken a seat in the passenger seat. Kika and Pierre are talking through the rear-view mirror while you look out of the window.

The longer you think about what Charles said - or didn't say - the more uncomfortable you feel. The hem of the sweater seems to have slipped, the collar feels too tight and the sleeves are scratching your elbows. You're not sure what you were hoping for, what the right answer would have been. But you're not particularly happy with the one you got.

You also want to be close to him, permanently. And you can also understand why the plan involves you staying away from each other inside the furniture store. But is that really necessary if you're just friends? Has he done something similar with his other female friends, or are you the only one who has to put up with this fuss?

Your thoughts are going round and round in your head, but as if by magic they suddenly come to a standstill. But it's not magic, it's Charles' hand that has squeezed past his seat on the right and is now gripping your leg. You feel his fingers slide under the fabric of your jeans, where they rest against your calf.

You try to regulate your breathing, but you can hear the blood pounding in your ears. Charles touching you is nothing new. You've been touching each other non-stop since last night, which doesn't help your feelings or your friendship, but it still feels indescribably good.

It feels right the way his calloused hand wraps around your soft calf. It felt right the way his thumb stroked your cheek. It felt right to lie half-naked next to him in bed.

It felt right to want him as something more. More than a roommate. More than a friend.

And that's exactly why you slide your foot towards the car door, so that Charles can touch you more easily. You block out the voice that keeps whispering hypocrite to you as best you can. And the warmer his skin feels on yours, the tighter his fingers close around your calf, the better it works.

"I'll let you both out right at the entrance and we'll park in the back of the parking lot," Pierre interrupts your thoughts before they're no longer PG. "You can go inside and we'll follow. That's the easiest way."

"Thank you very much," Charles says. "I'm sorry we're shamelessly taking advantage of you."

Pierre has to grin. "You're welcome to give me a position in Bahrain, then we'd be even."

"You'd have to get close to me on the track first."

The two men argue amicably until the car comes to a halt in front of the deserted entrance. Just as you are about to open the door, Charles's fingers gently squeeze your leg twice and you have to suppress a smile, otherwise Kika would tease you endlessly. As you both get out and the car drives away, she latches on to you.

"Are you ready?" she asks as you walk towards the glass door together.

"Definitely."

Kika has very good taste in decorating and if she hadn't become a model, she could definitely have worked at Ikea putting together those fake rooms. As you push a shopping cart in front of you, she skips through the aisles, grabbing anything that matches in color or style. Picture frames, vases, mirrors and fake plants that would look good on the windowsill in your room.

She's examining which of the candles in front of her would go better with the vases in the shopping cart when your cell phone vibrates in your pocket.

Charles: If one of the candles burns down our apartment, I'll have to charge you rent.

Confused, you read the message before looking up and around. Charles is standing about twenty meters away from you, smiling at you over the shelves. You bite the inside of your cheek.

You: You don't need my money, Mr. Ferrari. After all, you make millions a year.

You raise an eyebrow challengingly as Charles reads your message. You can see his grin clearly, even from this distance.

Charles: If you burn down my expensive apartment, I'll have to find a new one, and they're not exactly cheap in Monaco, as you know.

You: I thought it was our apartment?

Charles: If you let it burn down, you're welcome to keep it.

You: So you'd let me keep it? Our apartment?

Charles: I'd give you anything, mon amour. You just have to ask for it.

You don't have time to think about his answer because Kika throws a stuffed animal dinosaur in your face.

"Are you done flirting?" she asks, playing annoyed. "I'm trying to decorate your room and you'd rather flirt than help me."

You feel the blood rush to your face. "Excuse me?"

Her grin almost reaches your ears. "Gotcha."

"You can't possibly have caught me doing something I wasn't doing," you try to wriggle out of it, but Kika has bitten down like a little terrier.

"And why are you looking like you've eaten the last spoonful of tiramisu without asking if anyone else wants the rest?"

"I haven't eaten any tiramisu," you defend yourself and hug the green stuffed animal tightly to your chest.

"Not yet," she says gently and puts one of the candles in the cart with the rest. "But I'm afraid you could get diabetic if you're not careful with the tiramisu. A small piece is fine, but a double portion could almost be too much."

You narrow your eyes. "I haven't eaten any tiramisu." Without taking your eyes off her, you put the green dino in the shopping cart too. "And I don't intend to."

"You're a bad liar," she says and stands next to you, wrapping her arms tightly around you. "But that's all right. I still love you. And when your room looks really cool soon, I'll take the outfit pictures for my Instagram in front of your mirror."

She gives you a peck on the cheek and you roll your eyes. "Charles was right. We need to change the locks, then you can't disturb us anymore."

"Disturb? Disturbing what? Eating tiramisu?" she grins and you would have loved to suffocate her with the green dino. Apparently Kika can read minds, because she quickly lets go of your arms and continues to skip happily through the corridors while you follow her with the shopping cart.

"How much do you think the things you picked out for me cost?" you ask her as she picks out more plants.

She takes a look at the shopping cart. "Something between two hundred and five hundred euros," she replies with a shrug.

"Kika, that's too much. Way too much," you try to stop her as she walks over to the rugs on display. "I can't pay for it. I'm unemployed, remember?" You're about to turn the shopping cart around and return the selected items to their rightful places, but Kika stands in your way.

"Charles offered to pay for this," she says, confused, resting her perfectly manicured hands on the metal grille of the cart.

"He what?" you ask, looking around in the hope of spotting Charles somewhere. But he's nowhere to be seen.

"Pierre sent me a text message to leave the car at the checkouts when we're done. He said that Charles wanted to pay for it and that we should wait outside for them," she explains, tilting her head. "I thought he would have told you. I know you're unemployed, but because of the text message, I thought that - I assumed we could just pick out nice items without looking at the price."

You run your tongue over your teeth. "Give me a moment, please," you say briefly and leave her standing there with the shopping cart.

You walk through every aisle, looking over every shelf in the hope of seeing Charles standing somewhere. And when, after ten minutes, you spot his brown curls in the furthest corner of the store, you don't care if the two of you are seen together. He's standing in front of a gray, hip-high box spring, with nice, dark bedding and comfortable-looking pillows placed on it. When you stop next to him, he doesn't look at you.

"I want to buy a new bed," he begins the conversation. "The one I have now is too low for me. What do you think of this one? I've tried it out. It's really comfortable and the perfect height for -" He falls silent before he can finish the sentence.

"Kika says you want to pay for my things," you change the subject without answering his question. You don't take your eyes off the bed either.

"That's correct."

"I don't want that," you say tersely. "I don't want you to pay for it."

"But I want to," he replies, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. "Think of it as a gift."

"As a gift?" You raise an eyebrow. "As a gift for what?"

"For your friendship."

"You can have my friendship without buying me new things," you assure him, but you fall on deaf ears.

"But I want to. I have so much money that I can't spend on my own, so I want to buy you nice things." He leans a little towards you so that your hands touch. "How expensive are the things? One thousand, two thousand euros?"

"Kika says five hundred at most."

"Then think of it as a small, early Christmas present," he says gently. Before you can object, he continues. "I want you to feel comfortable and if it costs me some money, then so be it. And it won't hurt my bank account in the slightest. So just say thank you and accept the gift."

"Thank you," you whisper reluctantly, but you know that it wouldn't do any good to go against his wishes. "Did you find something you want to buy?"

He smiles. "This bed, apparently. And bedding. And a mirror."

"Doesn't sound bad. I just hope you have as good a taste as Kika. After all, our things have to match," you joke.

Charles turns his head in your direction. "Then lie down on the bed, mon amour. I'd like to see how you look on it before I spend thousands of euros on it." As he says it and his fingers curl around your wrist, that feeling blossoms in your chest again.

You want to throw him on the bed in front of you, kiss him until you can't breathe and touch him until you can see stars. You want to feel his warm skin under your fingertips, feel his muscles tense as he pulls you on top of him and presses you against his firm body. You want to feel his weight on you as he lays you down on the bed and his lips trail down from your mouth. You want to -

"Do you really think I'm going to try sleeping without you again when we've figured out that we both sleep better when we're together?" he asks, gently stroking the thin skin on your wrist with his thumb. You hope he can't feel your racing pulse underneath. "When we first met, you said that you hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a long time. And if it means I have to hold you in my arms so you can get a good night's sleep, then so be it. And it's not as if I don't enjoy having you close to me."

Before you can answer him, you feel a person standing at your other side and when you look, Kika is standing there. Her gaze flickers briefly to your hands before she turns to the bed as well. "Do any of you fancy a bite to eat?" she asks. "There's a restaurant nearby that serves incredibly good tiramisu. And it's never busy. We can go there if you like." She turns slightly in your direction and nudges you. "What about you? Do you want some tiramisu?"

More like a need than a want.

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read-marx-and-lenin · 3 months ago

Note

I'm asking this in good faith, but this is something I'm genuinely confused about. Regarding the Holodomor, or the Soviet famine of 1930 in general, why does it matter if it was a genocide or not? At best it seems to be a natural famine exacerbated by poor decision making, and while that is far different from a genocide, I don't understand why that specification matters, because it was still made worse by Soviet intervention, unless I'm getting the facts wrong which I probably am.

It matters to the Western propagandists who were insistent for decades despite zero evidence that the famine was used to commit atrocities against the people of Ukraine. The refrain the whole time was that once the Soviet archives were made public, they'd finally have the proof they needed. The archives are eventually opened, and surprise surprise, there's not only no evidence of the deliberate withholding of grain, there's evidence of significant amounts of food aid being sent to help alleviate the famine. The myth of a Ukrainian genocide began as Nazi propaganda and was adopted as part of the "double genocide" narrative by Western reactionaries after WW2 to downplay the crimes of the Nazis and to maintain a narrative about liberal opposition to "authoritarianism", painting Western capitalists as the "free world" fighting against both fascism and communism. (Don't ask them why they stopped fighting fascism after WW2 though.)

As for the human elements of the famine, it is also part of the typical Western narrative, even among those who admit the Holodomor was not a targeted anti-Ukrainian genocide and who admit that there were environmental factors, to try and put substantial amounts of blame on the Soviet collectivization of agriculture. I am not going to lie and say collectivization went smoothly with no issues, but you cannot ignore the factors of reactionary sabotage by kulaks (including the destruction of animals and grain and the outright murder of party officials) and the effects of Western sanctions and sabotage on the economic development of the USSR.

While some have argued that there was a complete "gold blockade" on the USSR during the famine and so the Soviet Union was forced to export grain to facilitate international trade, the blockade was never enforced by all Western nations at the same time and the Soviets were still able to export gold and silver at various times throughout the 1920s. It is true, however, that gold reserves were stretched thin at the time and the Soviets simply didn't have enough gold to cover their international debts. Soviet gold mines had never been extraordinarily productive and the rest of the Soviet economy was still developing at the time, so grain was one of the few things that they expected to have in surplus. In addition, there were various other sanctions in place by 1930 that did limit who they could trade with and what they could trade with, but the export of grain was almost never restricted. The famine caught them off guard at a very bad time.

While international grain exports were restricted during the famine as grain was diverted to famine-stricken regions of the country (and grain imports were increased as well), the problems with hoarding only worsened as in the panic of the famine, kulaks sought to exploit the people and create a profitable black market on grain. A struggle against the kulaks coincided with worsening environmental effects and the spread of disease among both crops and humans.

The famine was not man-made, it was not entirely natural, and it was not the inevitable outcome of collectivization. It was a perfect storm of a variety of factors. Stalin was not some heartless monster condemning millions of Ukrainians to death for daring to defy the glorious Soviet Union. He was not some idiot who had no idea what he was doing, plunging the nation into famine out of ineptitude. He was not a stubborn maniac who refused to abandon failing economic policies even at the cost of human lives. He was a human being, one of many in charge of the Soviet Union, dealing with concurrent disasters as best as they could.

#communism #socialism #leftism #ussr #soviet union #anon ask

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janitorhutcherson · 1 year ago

Text

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt

surprise, bitches!!! im giving yall a lil taste of some more writing. im not really on hiatus (obvi, i post every 5 minutes) but i've been sooooo busy that i haven't been able to post half as much. with that being said, here are some more in depth headcanons ab yandere!mike. :p could not have done this without @futturmand literally helping me (coming up w/) most of these. thank u bae.

warnings: drugging, violence, sex, daddy kink, abusive tendencies

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olderbfyandere!mike schmidt was kinda an asshole. to his coworkers, random customers at the mall, anybody who came too close to you, and yes, even sometimes to you. he was the kind of guy who had a semi-permanent grimace on his face. the corners of his mouth would turn into smiles typically only when he was with abby or you two were alone and he could let his guard down. of course, even then, the moment you caught an attitude, that grimace would appear right back on his face. his demeanor was typically gruff. he was the kind of guy most people didn't want to mess with. this meant any male coworkers around you would be tested their fate to even glance at you the wrong way and god forbid mike saw one of them brush something off of your shoulder. that would truly be the end of them.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is very obsessive over safety. after losing garrett, he has this urge to do nothing but to protect. this means that mike is the type of guy to want your location at all times. not only that, but he wants to know what you're doing, who you're with, and what time you'll be home. he expects a text when you leave, a text when you get there, an hourly check-in, then a text on your way home. it brings him a sense of peace, knowing where you are. he watches life360 obsessively when you're not in his sight, watching your little bubble move through wherever you may be. he's constantly checking the speed of the car you're in, occasionally stalking your friend's instagram stories to see where you are. he's overprotective to the extent that it can be overbearing, but at the end of the day it's endearing knowing he cares that much.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt uses the fact that you're younger than him to manipulate you. he's less about violence or anything physical and instead uses his words. he will constantly remind you how helpless you are without him, how he has so much more life experience than you. he'll point out randomly when you mention not knowing how to do something, saying something like, "see, babydoll, where would you be without me? that's right, nowhere. you need me to take care of you." he's also the kind of guy to eventually make you financially dependent on him if he could ever afford it. he would never put you in that spot until he was comfortable enough to do so, though, meaning it might be a loooong time before that ever happened.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt treats you less like a partner and more like a little sibling, kinda like he treats abby. as strange as it is, he also feels a paternal instinct to protect you. it comes from his deep-rooted feelings of abandonment. he lost garrett, his mom, his dad, and sometimes he feels like abby hates him. he loves that you listen to him, that he can command you to do something and you'd be so good for him. he absolutely adores being able to control different aspects of your life, making you completely reliant on him. it makes him feel special and needed, which he hasn't felt in a very long time. he loves nothing more than when he gets to scold you almost like a parent, your eyes falling to the ground, that adorable wounded puppy look he loves so much taking over your face.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is incredibly clingy and touch starved. he wants to have a hand on you 24/7. forget having personal space, because you are not getting it with him. he'd follow you around, watching you everywhere you'd go. his hands would grip onto your hips so tightly sometimes it'd feel like they were glued to them. he'd always have his arms around you, kissing at your neck, nipping in a way you felt shouldn't be shown in public. mike didn't care, he wanted everyone to know you belonged to him in every single way. he controlled you, and if he wanted to embarrass you and turn your face red by leaving purple marks on your neck in the middle of a shopping plaza, then so be it. you would take it or be punished.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt who of course uses his sleeping pills on you when you're being a little brat. he isn't violent with you for the most part except for the rare occasion when he will hold you down onto the bed until you'll listen, but otherwise he opts for something simpler. when you're being a little too frustrating for him, going against his every command or you're not feeling like being held, mike will simply crush up his sleeping pills, slip them into your water. he's careful with you once you doze off, never abusing you in any way. all he will do is tuck you into your shared bed and hold your body in his arms, whispering sweet nothings as you're off in your own sweetly drugged up world.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt would most definitely have a thing for being called daddy. sorry guys, it had to be said. hot take, i guess. considering he did want to protect you so thoroughly, he loved when you'd call him daddy. it made him feel like your protector, like you knew he was the one that did everything for you. it was so crazy how such a simple word could change his whole day. he loved hearing it fall out of your lips as he'd brush through your hair or wash your body off in the shower. "thank you, daddy," you'd hum and he'd grin ear to ear. "you're welcome, babydoll," he'd always say, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

#josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt imagine #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson fanfic #josh hutcherson fluff #josh hutcherson imagine #mike schmidt smut #yandere #yandere mike schmidt #olderbf!mike #olderbf!mike schmidt #olderbfyandere!mike schmidt

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444takeomi · 1 year ago

Text

WHEN HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU

: ̗̀➛ summary: how 1st gen bd act when they like you

character(s): shinichiro sano, wakasa imaushi, takeomi akashi, keizo arashi

warnings: female reader

wc: 2.0k

a/n: i wrote most of this after having worked a 70+ hour week. apologies if it doesn't make a lot of sense, i was very tired as you can imagine💀

: ̗̀➛ shinichiro

- shin is very open about his feelings, to the point where it's not even really a secret that he likes you — especially if you're close friends with him, there's a good chance you know already ahaha

- i think he's the type to get flustered whenever you initiate physical touch, even if it's accidental

- one time at the bike shop you unknowingly brushed your hand against his when you passed one of his tools to him and he literally thought about it for the rest of the day

- he's so touch starved </3

- his friends constantly make fun of him for the way he acts around you, while his siblings tell him you're way too pretty for him and out of his league

- he really can't catch a break💀

- shin gets upset if he finds out another guy likes you too, and he can't help but feel jealous whenever you laugh or smile more around the other guy than you do with him </3

- he really wants to impress you, he likes telling you stories from his black dragon days and goes into detail about all the fights he got into — he definitely over-exaggerates them a lot though and leaves out the parts where he got his ass handed to him💀

- if at any point he overheard you say you hated smokers he would literally try to quit just for you, or at the very least put out his cigarettes and avoid smoking when you're around him

- he’s such a cutie, he secretly watches those youtube videos titled ‘how to be a good boyfriend’ and ‘how to get your crush to like you back’ </3

- whenever shin notices you're nearby he subconsciously starts fixing his appearance — he’ll straighten his posture and run his fingers through his hair, he always wants to look his best in front of you

- if you ever compliment his cologne he makes sure to wear extra when he knows he's going to see you that day, he also likes to spray it on his hoodies and jackets and offers them to you when it's cold

- speaking of which, his heart literally skips a beat whenever he sees you wearing his clothes, it makes him feel like you're already dating and he can't help but start daydreaming about what it might be like being yours </3

- shin really wants to ask you out, but after being rejected so many times before he can't help but worry that you'll reject him too — however he eventually decides to take the chance and tell you how he feels, it's not as if you haven't already caught on anyway

- if you reject him he'll obviously be super upset, way more upset than he was after any of his previous rejections, but to be honest he was probably expecting it </3

- on the other hand, if you accept his confession he’ll be very caught off guard after being turned down so much in the past, but he'll be super happy nonetheless and won't be able to stop bragging to his friends and siblings that he finally has a girlfriend, and how he's so lucky that he gets to be dating someone as amazing as you <3

: ̗̀➛ wakasa

- waka isn't very vocal about his feelings towards you, and therefore he’s pretty good at hiding it to the point where almost no one would suspect that he liked you — but that's not to say his friends haven't picked up on it by now

- they constantly catch him staring at you, and he's really not as subtle as he thinks he is, half the time he's not even paying attention to them when they're talking to him because he's too distracted by how pretty you are

- if you end up noticing him staring he likes holding eye contact with you until you get shy and look away, he thinks it's adorable and it makes his heart flutter seeing you all bashful <3

- he usually has the same deadpan expression and rarely shows any emotion, but when you're around he's like a completely different person — he's noticeably more expressive and talkative and he smiles more often when he's with you

- he’s so in love </3

- waka is also considerably more touchy and clingy with you — it doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary to most people, but if you pay close attention you’ll start to notice that he's always looking for the opportunity to sit next to you and be close to you wherever he can <3

- his love language is definitely physical touch, and he likes brushing his fingers against your skin and leaving fleeting touches whenever possible — he’ll feign innocence and pretend it was an accident but in reality he's totally doing it on purpose

- as much as waka likes physical contact, he always makes sure to respect your personal boundaries as he'd never want to make you uncomfortable

- he's the type to notice small differences about your appearance, like if you've changed your hair or done your makeup differently

- he pays a lot of attention to you, more than you probably realise <3

- i don't think waka would make a huge deal out of confessing to you, he'd probably either just come up to you one day and tell you straight up or alternatively he might drunkenly blurt it out to you by accident

- if it was the latter you most likely wouldn't take him seriously at first, and so he'd make sure to tell you again once he was sober, as he wouldn't want you to think he was just messing with you because he was drunk

- if you rejected him he'd definitely be humbled, as i don't think he's someone that’s used to being turned down, but he’ll respect your decision of course and hopes that you can still be friends

- now that he's finally struck out with a girl he knows that shin will have something to make fun of him for after years of being teased for his 20 rejections💀

- however if you accept his confession you’ll finally get to see the real waka, he stops holding back and becomes especially clingy and needy for your attention, a side of him that only you get to see <3

: ̗̀➛ takeomi

- omi isn't the best at handling his emotions, especially when it comes to you — at first he was in complete denial about liking you, hoping that if he ignored his feelings towards you that they would eventually go away

- if his friends ever mentioned you or implied that he had a thing for you he would insist that you were annoying and would tell them he couldn't stand you💀

- little did he know they saw right through him, it was pretty obvious how fond of you he was just from the way he looked at you

- i feel like it got to the point where he was so stubborn about it that waka had to go as far as to pretend he was going to ask you out just to get omi to finally admit that he had feelings for you

- omi is the embodiment of being mean to you because he likes you — he's always teasing you and loves to push your buttons to try and get a reaction out of you, he thinks you’re cute when you get mad

- however if you tease him back it catches him completely off guard, he gets all flustered and starts stumbling over his words </3

- you always catch him looking at you from across the room, he tries so hard to play it off as if he wasn't just checking you out but he does it all the time to the point where it's obvious💀

- while omi may struggle with being affectionate towards you, the way he shows you he cares is through doing favours for you, for example by offering to take you home on his motorcycle

- beware of riding with him though because he likes to randomly speed up out of nowhere, you just assume it's because he's a bad driver but little do you know he only does it because he’s hoping you’ll get scared and wrap your arms around his waist

- if you do end up clinging to him he’ll more than likely make fun of you for it, but his heart will be racing the entire time — he’s just glad that you can't see his face because he can feel his cheeks getting warm </3

- similar to waka, if he was going to confess to you he wouldn't really make a big deal out of it either, i think he'd just casually mention that he liked you in the middle of a conversation and it would catch you completely off guard

- if you reject omi he’ll actually be so embarrassed, i feel like he'll immediately change the subject and act like nothing happened because he doesn't know how else to handle the rejection </3

- if you tell him you feel the same he might get a little cocky about it initially, but deep down he's just so relieved you didn't reject him — despite the confident front he puts up he was actually really nervous to tell you

- he probably tries to give dating advice to shin as if you two haven't only been going out for a few days💀

: ̗̀➛ keizo

- benkei is such a sweetheart, but even more so when he has feelings for you

- i feel like he's the kind of person who just admires you from afar when he likes you — especially if you're close friends, he definitely doesn't have any plans to tell you as he wouldn't want to risk ruining the relationship you two already have </3

- although he doesn't want to outright tell you how he feels that doesn't mean he won't drop small hints here and there

- for example, he always offers to walk you home even if it's completely out of his way, and if you’ve forgotten your jacket when it's cold out he’ll drape his own over your shoulders as soon as he notices you shivering <3

- he’s also very protective over you, especially when you go out to places like bars or clubs — he watches over you throughout the evening just to make sure that no one is harassing you, and if someone does end up making you uncomfortable or puts their hands on you without permission he won't hesitate to beat the living shit out of them

- considering how strong he is, benkei is surprisingly very gentle with you

- he always seems to know exactly how you're feeling, and whenever you're sad he’ll engulf you in a big hug, holding you in his arms so delicately like you're made from the most fragile glass </3

- he also remembers a lot of small details about you that you've mentioned in previous conversations, such as your go-to orders from different restaurants or your favourite songs — he claims that he just has a good memory but in reality it's because he loves listening to what you have to say <3

- benkei cares a lot about your safety, whenever the two of you are out together he always walks on the outer part of the sidewalk so that he's closest to the cars, and if you go somewhere by yourself he’ll ask you to text him when you get there so that he knows you're okay

- he loves giving you head pats, especially if you're a lot shorter than him — he thinks the height difference between the two of you is really cute <3

- if you're into working out then he’ll invite you to train with him at the gym and will offer to spot you

- senju always makes fun of him for his crush on you, sometimes she deliberately teases him when you're around to the point where it's pretty clear that he likes you </3

- as i've mentioned, benkei will hint at the fact he likes you but i don't think he'd directly tell you, to be honest if you want to date him you’d probably have to be the one to ask him out yourself

- if you did end up telling him you liked him he'd be very taken aback by your confession, but after the initial shock wore off he'd of course tell you he felt the same way, unable to wipe the grin off his face <3

please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x you #wakasa imaushi #wakasa x reader #wakasa x you #takeomi akashi #takeomi x reader #takeomi x you #keizo arashi #keizo x reader #keizo x you #benkei x reader #benkei x you #✩444.writings #✩444.headcanons

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officialundertakersmoocher · 4 months ago

Note

may i pls request a scenario with violet and afab reader where he’s drawing them nude and then smut ensues?

An Artistic Craving

yall i am so sorry for the extended break, and I hope this meets your expectations 😭

Warnings: NSFW, Nudity, +18, Slightly OOC

• • •

"Stay still, okay?"

"But, Vi, it's so embarrassing..." You attempt to cover your assets which have been shamefully exposed to his eyes in the dimly lit study room.

"Don't think of it that way... It's just a study." You tried not to ask many questions, after all, he was more versed in the arts than you were.

It was lucky that you two happened to catch this moment alone, unchaperoned. Vi, actually very uncharacteristically, was the one to insist that he needed you as a model to finish this study to complete a project he was working on for his upcoming art exam.

After all, you two had been seeing each other for a long time now and were not only comfortable enough to do such a thing, but you also just happened to owe him a favor.

This is how you ended up in such a position for your lover, spewn on a dark purple couch in a private study room near the Purple House dorms. You knew that Gregory was too shy to say so, but there are many books on campus filled with similar references free for his use. He just wanted to spend time with you in an intimate setting such as this one.

You caught him stealing glances at you every once in a while, and he could sense your growing discomfort from staying still for so long.

He left his sketchbook behind momentarily to kneel down beside you and suddenly the room felt more quiet. Your eyes locked as he gently adjusts the position of your hand, placing it under your head in a graceful fashion.

He tilts his head and he brushes a strand of hair away from your face as if to get a better view.

He tried to back away to retreat to his seat, but was caught by your hand pulling him back. He sat confused for a moment but could tell your eyes were asking him to stay.

You move yourself upwards to face him and pull him into a kiss. His lips are soft and welcoming and he eventually moves to grab your waist.

You slowly move him onto the couch with you, straddling his waist. He begins to become shy from this now suddenly risqué moment and pulls away from your lips.

"Love, I don't know if we should..." You could feel the deep heat resonating from his cheeks, so you asked him softly, "Would you like me to stop...?"

"Please no..."

You just barely hear him mutter this, but his hot breath on your neck shows you how desperate he has become.

Before you know it, there are clothes being dragged away and thrown about the room, never finding the motivation to tear your lips apart from one another. You both are stuck in an agonizing dance, waiting for the moment that you both can be as close as you desire.

The room has reached a stillness as the dim candlelight bounces off of skin, and hot breath stills in the air. You are both frozen in time, taking in the moment for the first time now, and as you do, you notice that you've never really seen your lover in such a passionate way as this.

In this position, he's kneeling his body over yours and bowing his head in a shy manor. From the silence you hear him speak softly, asking, "Is this what you want, for sure?" And you have seemingly been too caught up in your own thoughts to notice the lingering question prodding in-between your thighs. You suddenly feel a harsh flush invading your cheeks and a needy wetness in the very same place that he finds his attention.

You turn your head to avoid the embarrassment of facing him as you answer his looming question.

Your voice shakes more than you intended it to, more out of anticipation than anything else. "Yes, of course, p-please keep going, my love-"

However, he catches you off guard by lowing his head down to your thighs. His proximity meant you could feel his breath tickle your skin and it invigorated you.

He softly grazed your folds with his fingers, and slowly exploring your body until he reached the most sensitive parts of you. The moment he grazed your clit, you couldn't help but let out a soft moan, which is exactly what pushed him to continue despite feeling his own uncertainty.

He follows the sounds of your sweet moans, touching you and exploring your body in ways that neither of you have experienced before. Before long you find yourself growing more in need of his touch, pulling his hands and guiding him to kiss you. You both are grasping for each others touch and cursing into the silence of this empty room when the tension reaches an all-time high. You find yourself guiding his cock lower as a sign that you are ready (or maybe as a sign that you can't wait much longer now).

He follows your lead, pushing himself slowly across your folds, letting out a sigh as he feels the warmth of your pussy against his skin. He has one hand behind your head as a comforting act as he slowly guides himself between your thighs. He watches your expression change to a grimace of pain, almost stopping himself, but instead he caresses your face in an attempt to sooth your pain. You start to adjust yourself and whisper for him to keep going, and after a few moments the pain starts to replace itself with great pleasure.

You can't help the moans that escape your lips as you grasp onto him, likely leaving scratch marks on his upper back.

However, he doesn't mind this one bit. He can only focus on this heavenly feeling that seemed to blur his vision and tingle at his senses. The pleasure became overwhelming before you could comprehend it and it feels like heaven.

The sounds that filled the room should have alerted the others of the acts you both were sharing tonight, and maybe, just maybe, you should have been more worried, but neither of you could have the gut to care. Not tonight, not when it just feels so good and your vision had started bleeding white as your bodies worked in tandem with one another.

It felt like hours before you had found yourselves cuddling under a stray blanket, skin-to-skin and feeling on top of the world. There was peace settled in the air and you held each other and shared this perfect moment.

"Did you enjoy it?" Violet asked timidly while he stroked stray pieces of hair out of your face.

"Oh course, Darling. I've never felt closer to you than how we were tonight." You looked at him so softly and left a soft peck on his lips.

"Well, thats good, because... I didn't really get to finish my painting. We may have to do this again tomorrow night..." He wouldn't meet your eyes, but you knew that if you could see them, they would have a glint of excitement in them that you only see when he looks at you.

"Well, I suppose we would have to then- For your studies, of course."

• Epilogue • Tea Time •

"So, It couldn't have been just me who heard some oddly bizarre noises coming from the art studio on the west end last night..." Edgar mused to the other prefects as he took a mischievous sip.

"Oh, how I wonder what that could have possibly been coming from..." The sound of a breaking pencil could be heard only if he listened so intently.

"Oh, I heard it, alright." Greenhill pipped in, sounding more than mildly annoyed as he completed his afternoon stretch. "Some people really need to be more considerate of the fact that some of us need to study at such late hours."

"Well, maybe some people should consider that not everyone wants to hear the sound of your 2 hour long training routine at 12am either..." Bluewer rolled his eyes, obviously not knowing what the others were exactly referring to.

"Well, In just thinking that maybe when the professors discover a certain pair of undergarments left in said art studio on the west end, they may have to cancel class this morning. If you know what I mean..." Edgar takes an extended sip of his tea and watched as Gregory excuses himself, dropping his sketchbook and seemingly headed towards the west end.

"Well, that answers that." Edgar mutters with a smirk.

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ziggymars · 29 days ago

Text

mirror, mirror (18+) - cl.16

Charles Leclerc x Reader

winner from this poll

warning(s): sentences that would have gotten me lobotomized in the 1900s, terribly translated Italian AND French, established relationship, fingering, squirting, daddy kink, praise kink, unprotected pnv, cream pie, horn dog charles and awful writing probably, please don’t hate me im intimidated by the f1 fandom even though i am in it ..... also i didn't proofread the whole thing please forgive any errors, they will probably be fixed soon. minors pls DNI.

word count: 3.7k+

A/N: mama an inchident behind you ! I know I was going to post this like a month ago, but I'm going through it sis AND my computer ate the original so I had to rewrite this oop. i'm very sorry to everyone who was expecting timo, the mexico city gp had me feral so you get this monstrosity. don’t hesitate to send any dirty thoughts you have about charles, perhaps inspiration will strike and i will give you the gift of sinful prose. i'm nervous to post this but i'm going to anyways xoxo zigs

The first thing you usually hear that is a clear indication that Charles is home, is the purr of his engine pulling into the driveway. A sound that had quickly become one of your favorites. A cacophony that drove your neighbors completely mad, music to your ears. Next came the jingling of his keys, echoing in the foyer. Which was very clear to you from where you stood. Today you were faced in front of a ginormous mirror. It had just gotten delivered but the installation guys wouldn't be able to make it until next week; so now it was placed, halfhazardly, against the wall in the living room. Definitely not where it was supposed to go. It looked kind of nice there regardless, reflecting the warm glow of lights in your shared home.

You glanced over at the clock, a familiar anticipation bubbling inside of you. He had mentioned an interview with Max earlier, and you could only imagine how it had gone. The door creaked open, and you turned your head -- a warm smile spread across your face at the sight of him. There he was, looking so effortlessly handsome as he always does. "Honey, I'm home!" He chirped, once again, as he always did. Charles strode to where you stood, and he stopped in his tracks for a moment as his eyes fell on the mirror. "Wow, um.... that's huge," he said with a raised brow, astonishment clear on his features. He continued walking towards it and ran a finger along the ornate frame, your eyes following it the entire time "I didn't expect it to be this big."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his observations, you had thought the same thing when it came. "Neither did I." You said as you followed closer to him to wrap an arm around his side, head on his shoulder. "What do you think?" You asked, "I think it will look really nice in the stairway. Installation guys can't make it until next week though.”

Charles mirrored you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He tilted his head to the side as he studied his reflection and then he began to study yours. "I think it will look really amazing once it's put up. For now it takes up a lot of space, no? I guess that's alright." He said, the last part mostly to himself.

For a moment, you both stood there, caught in the sight of your reflection. There was something intimate about it, even if both of you were fully clothed. It captured your visage but also the energy in the room; remnants of shared memories and love. An idea came to him that made all of his cares about its current placement fly out the window.

"Do you want to try it out?" Charles asked suddenly, catching you off guard. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Come on, don't you want to see how we look together?"

A warm flush spread across your cheeks and you ripped your eyes from his reflection to look at him for real as you asked "Together?"

"Of course. You know what I mean." He laughed and turned his gaze to look at you too, the intensity making your heart skip just a beat. "Please. Let me play with you, il mio cuore."

Your shoulders brushed as you turned to face him, your mouth opening to protest. You had two Cornish hen's in the oven that you desperately did not want to burn. It wouldn't have been the first time you nearly started a fire because of Charles' obsession with pleasing you. It was a protest that he didn't even let escape your mind before he was placing a finger over your lips to silence you. "Just turn it off, if you're worried about dinner." He knew without you even having to say it, he could smell the aroma from the kitchen. And while it did smell really, really good -- the pull to explore this mirror’s capabilities was too strong for him. Too strong to miss this opportunity.

You gave a playful roll of your eyes before you kissed the finger pressed to your lips, a sigh of “Fine.” slipping through the space around it.

Too excited to wait even a moment longer, he gives your ass a light spank, saying "Hurry along." The commanding tone sending a shiver down your spine and a skip in your step as you did as he told; scampering to the kitchen to turn the oven off. It took you no time and even less to get back to him.

"Good girl." He purred and then pulled you closer to him by the shirt you were wearing, his shirt, maneuvering your body until you were both facing the mirror. Charles towered over you, his torso brushing against your shoulder blades. He ran one hand across your collarbone and then down your clothed stomach. "This will be fun, I promise."

"I don't doubt that," you breathed, goosebumps starting to rise in the wake of his fingertips as your eyes closed, "it's just a bit awkward, watching myself."

"No.." Charles cooed, his fingers gliding back to where they came from, tracing along the swell of your breast, the feeling of it causing him to take a sharp inhale. "You're beautiful, please, look at you."

When they found their way to your nipples, which were already pert under his touch, your eyes finally fluttered open. A soft, almost indiscernible grunt leaving your already parted lips. "You're so excited already, and I've barely touched you." He said, a cocky grin slipping to his lips as he pinched at one of them absentmindedly. You let out a quiet yelp and your back can't help but arch into the touch, "More, please." coming from your lips.

Nearly every time he heard you say that, he would oblige. Right now was one of those times. Charles slid his hand down, slipping it under your shirt; fingertips gliding across your flesh, "So soft." He remarked, his voice becoming more thick the closer his hand got to cupping around your breast. Where he kneaded, his fingers melding to your skin deliciously. You gave off another soft grunt, your thighs wriggling in an attempt to rub them together. "Oh, feeling needy today?"

You were tempted to roll your eyes but decided against it, not wanting to thwart any chances of getting what you now desperately wanted. He took notice of your self restraint so he rewarded you by snaking his hand down and into the hem of your spandex shorts, the ones he loved so much. Charles was met immediately with the feel of your already slick folds. "No underwear, mon lapinou?" (my bunny).

All you could do was nod your head and look at his reflection with a pleading look as the pad of his middle finger circled in the slick you produced. "Use your words." His voice was a gentle coo urging you on.

"No underwear." You confirmed with a shaky voice "Please, Charles, you're driving me crazy."

"You drive me crazy all the time," he said "perhaps this is payback." The same smirk glued to his lips from before as he moved his finger up and down gently against your clit. "Fine," he huffed "I'll give you what you want though." It was partly for you, but also selfish reasons. He was eager to watch the show you were about to provide for no one but him; the thought of it intoxicating him relentlessly.

Without another word, he's tugging your shorts down and allowing you to step out of them before he dramatically, and honestly, a bit comically threw them to the side. Not giving a single care to where they went, tunnel visioned on nothing but making full use of the mirror.

Next, Charles started to pull the leather arm chair that was skewed beside the couch to sit in front of the mirror; patting his legs with a look to you. “Take off your shirt and come sit on my lap.”

Finally finding courage and clarity through swirling vestiges of lust, you purred a simple "Yes, papà."

Something you didn't call him often. Something you saved in your back pocket for when you really wanted to rile him up. A special treat, for a very special man.

One "Oh, Gesù Cristo." (Jesus Christ) and you knew it had worked. Perfect.

Charles' pupils blow wide and stuck to your hands that were now removing the last remaining piece of clothing. Your eyes, however, were settled on the wet patch that had formed on his shirt, almost the very instant that you had called him the name he loved so much. "Do you like what you see, papà?" You asked, metaphorically poking the sleeping bear.

"Love what I see," he said, beckoning you closer "but I'd love to see what you look like with my fingers inside you a little bit more, come here. Please." Near the end of the sentence, his voice was almost a whine. Giving away just how much he wanted to feel your body against his. You weren't cruel, and to be fair you wanted this just as bad as he did. So you were doing as you were told for the second time this evening. You clambered to settle in his lap and he was quick to adjust your legs. Spreading them impossibly wide with rough hands, your breath already beginning to bait at the implication alone.

Then Charles did something that left your cheeks burning; he spread apart your folds. His mouth fell open as he gazed at the sight in the mirror, admiring your beauty. “Look at that," he swooned, "so pretty. So fucking gorgeous.”

Feeling sheepish from being so exposed, you tried to turn your head and bury it inside the crook of his neck but there was absolutely no way he was going to let that happen. With his other hand he grabbed your chin, not hard enough to actually hurt you but hard enough to make you look; forcing your gaze to where his fingers held open his prize. "See? What did papà say?" He said, his tone scolding yet still warm "So pretty."

Your hips wriggled in his lap, a futile attempt to grind back against the now achingly hard length that was flush against his stomach. Trying to urge him on, to do anything else besides continue to wordlessly look at you like he was going to swallow you whole.

"I'm speaking to you, mon lapinou." Charles tsked, his index finger now circling around your entrance, "don't be rude."

Realizing you didn't have another option, you couldn’t be shy now that you had opened this can of worms with one simple name, you managed to parrot him “So pretty.” Followed by a choked and begging “Please, touch me.”

“Good girl.” He cooed, simple and sweet before he was plunging one finger into your depths; a soft, languid moan falling from your lips. If your vision had been any more clouded, you might have missed the way his eyes nearly rolled back at the sound alone.

Charles’ grip tightened on your chin, keeping your focus steady to where he was now slowly, but surely drawing his finger out, and then back in at an excruciatingly slow pace. Enough to give you what you want but not getting ahead of himself just yet. His eyes dipped closed for only a moment as he leaned forward to pepper gentle kisses to your shoulder. When his eyes open he had to still all of his movements for a moment, genuinely fearing he might cum in his pants at the very sight of you perched in his lap. Your lips parted, legs spread, arousal dripping down his wrist. It was enough to make him weak.

You let out needy whines, hips bucking against his hand, urging him silently. Charles chuckled and obliged, slowly pumping a second digit into your tight heat. “That’s it, ma belle. Let me make you feel good.” He purred, his accent becoming more evident the more he lost himself in the sight. He watched, ever intently, entranced by the way you fell apart under his touch — filthy, breathless moans tumbling from your lips like a leaky faucet.

Charles’ deft fingers continued their filthy dance, pumping in and out of your dripping core, his thumb coming to circle your throbbing clit. Your breaths come in short and labored gasps, chest heaving as you started to lean back against him, pleasure washing over your body. Your hips began to stutter and he made the executive decision to remove his other hand from your chin so he could use it to press them back down against him — spreading your thighs even further. “Oh fuck!” You gasped, a choked moan as he was able to pump his fingers even deeper. Your eyes fluttered shut in ecstasy, head falling back to his shoulder. He tilted his own to capture your lips in a searing kiss, tongue immediately dipping into your warm mouth to taste your sweetness.

Charles fingers continued to work, curling them just right. He stroked against the sensitive spot inside of you that made you see stars. A loud and wanton mewl is ripped through your throat, forcing you to pull away from the kiss so you could throw your head back against his shoulder. Obscene wet sounds filled the room as he began to finger-fuck you even harder, reveling in the way your smooth walls fluttered around him. Finally, you manage to pick your head up from his shoulder so you can look into the mirror. Blood rushes down between your thighs as the scene before you comes to view.

A third finger came to play and you were a goner. He reveled in the way your smooth, velvety walls pulsed around him. You became a whimpering mess, your mouth falling open as he met your gaze in the mirror. His eyes were dark and you could see he was holding himself back from just shoving you onto the floor and fucking you into oblivion. It made your eyes roll back, a slow moan of “Charles!” accompanying it.

“You’re close, I can tell.” He says, his voice course but somehow also boastful; knowing he’s the one who knows how to make you come undone like this, writhing in his lap like a first rate whore. One of the ways he can tell is now, how your moans grow even louder, higher pitched. Your hips started to buck against his hand frantically as you babbled “Yes, yes, yes!” over and over in his ear.

“That’s it, amore.” Charles encouraged you, voice husky in your ear. He gritted his teeth, “Cum all over my fingers, pretty girl. Come on, that’s it.”

It was enough for you, it was always enough for you. To hear him commanding you to cum. Like a sleeper agent only activated by a carefully constructed phrase. So with a loud and keening cry, your entire body seized. Thighs clamping around Charles’ wrist, a gush of liquid splashing against his hand and soaking his fingers. It dripped down the leather chair and onto the floor. His eyes widened in shock — you had never done that before. Charles could practically feel his chest swell with pride, satisfied smirk etched on his face. The puddle on the floor in front of you serving as a physical reminder to him of just how well he had done.

Somehow he managed to keep himself composed, grunting as he continued to pump his fingers, coaxing every wave of your orgasm. “Jesus, fuck! Baby!” He growled in appreciation, never ceasing his fingers movements until you were collapsing back, breathlessly, against his chest.

Slowly, he withdrew his fingers and brought them to his lips. You could only watch, mesmerized, when he sucked them clean. A deep moan rose from his throat that reverberated around his fingers. “Delicious,” he said, pulling them from his mouth with a satisfied hum. Charles can barely even hold himself back now, his cock straining against fabric as he stared at the ethereally erotic display before him. You panted, legs shaking from the orgasm he had given you. "Enough of that, mon cherie. I need to be inside of you."

He doesn't give you any time to respond before he is standing, and in one swift motion bending you over the side of the chair. Your face is pressed into the cool leather, your gaze stuck on the reflection of the two of you in the mirror. You didn't mind it being stuck there now, the aftershocks of how good he had made you feel helped your guard come down. And now all you could do was stare at him in the mirror, Charles missed it because he was quick to push both his pants and boxers down, settling himself behind you. You arched your back further and wiggled your hips, a giggle escaping as you presented your glistening pussy for him. He let out a low groan, hands roaming over your ass and up your back. "Fuuuck, look at that." Charles said, taking a moment to admire the view, slowly stroking himself a few times.

Positioning himself behind you, finally, he rubs the tip of his cock across your slick folds, teasing at your entrance. And then without warning, he sheathes himself fully inside of you with one powerful thrust. A long and low moan escapes both of your lips, a sweet symphony of soprano and tenor. Your hands grip onto the leather arm of the chair, trying to ground yourself into reality.

But it's hard. Really hard. Especially when he starts to set a steady rhythm, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in. Setting a primal pace that leaves the both of you gasping in pleasure. His pelvis slaps forward against your ass with each and every powerful thrust -- each one driving you forward just a little bit more. Your eyes are half-lidded now, heavy with lust. But you will them to stay open. You can see everything in the mirror. The ecstacy etched in your furrowed brows, the bounce of your ass with every jolt of his hips, and his muscles flexing subtly as he fucked into you at a relentless pace. Hands down the hottest thing you had ever been privy to witness.

Another thing you're keen to notice is the way he's so focused on not losing himself. For a man so ready to fuck you in front of a mirror, it sure seemed like he couldn't handle it anymore. Evident by the way his head was thrown back, curses of your name tumbling from his lips over and over. Your eyes begin to roll, overwhelmed by the pleasure and the knowledge that you were the one who made this usually so confident and domineering man feel like this.

Almost as if he could sense your thoughts, his head comes back forward, his hands gripping tightly onto your ass now. "You like this, non?" It comes out with a quiet grunt "You like when I fuck you like this?"

When you're not answering as quickly as he'd like, he's suddenly bringing one hand down to slap against your ass harshly. You let out a yelp that turns into a pathetically pleasured whine, "Yes, Charles! Feels so good!"

Charles rubs his hand along where it had previously struck, soothing the angry flesh. "Good girl," he cooed through gritted teeth "milking this cock so good." One of his hands abandons its grip on your ass to reach and rub tight circles against your clit. It sends cascading shockwaves of bliss pulsing through your bones. Determined to make you cum again, he says "Come on, baby. Cum all over this cock," Charles can feel you tightening around him, your moans growing more insistent and drawn out "I want to feel you." He clenched his jaw, eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

He leans forward and loops an arm under you to palm at one of your breasts, rolling a nipple between his fingers as he pounds into you. The new angle allowing him to hit that spot inside of you. His thrusts grow even more erratic, teeth grazing the sensitive skin against your neck -- rapidly chasing his own release. The thought of him cumming, the look on his face, it was too much. You cried out his name and your walls rhythmically pulsed around his cock as you came for the second time this evening. It was his Achilles' heel. Charles' snapped his hips one final time, burying himself deep as he possibly could. There was a long and low grunt that bellowed from his throat as he emptied himself inside of you, both arms wrapping around your middle to hold you close to him.

There was a long moment where the both of you just stayed like that. Your heart rates coming back to normal, still joined together. "You are incredible. The sounds you make, how you take me..." Charles' praises you softly, his thumb running along your swollen lower lip "c'est magnifique. I love you." He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder before he pulls out, slow and careful. Watching as his release trickles from you, a wolfish grin spreads across his lips, but you're momentarily displeased. A whimper bubbles from your lips, wishing he could just stay inside of you forever.

You unfurled your body from it's position across the chair, trying to keep your thighs clamped together as best as you could, "I love you, too."

Before you can even blink, Charles is by your side, giving you his arm so he could walk you to the bathroom. He was sweet like that. Always making sure that he took the best care of you after he had done sacrilegious things to your body.

Together, you made your way down the hallway. Albeit, you had to practically waddle to ensure you didn't spill on the floors you had just so meticulously cleaned hours before.

"Maybe we could just keep the mirror there?" He looked over at you to suggest, cheeky grin in tow. Amusing suggestion from someone who just said that it was taking up too much space.

You laughed and then grimaced, your hand flying between your legs "Please, don't make me laugh right now, Charles."

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 smut #formula one smut #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fanfiction #cl16 smut #charles leclerc lemon #f1 smut #f1 x reader #formula one x reader

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aurynsia · 26 days ago

Text

Unrequited, Terrifying Chapter 2

James Potter x Reader

Summary: After receiving a mysterious letter left under your door, you begin to search for the culprit…

Warnings: Extremely fluffy, nervous!james x shy!reader, some subtle wolfstar action in the background, reader plays hard to get without intending to, idiots in love, potentially a slow burn, oc!friends, lovesick!james x salty!reader, no use of Y/N, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns, NOT EDITED!

Word count: 1.7K

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

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“Has anyone got any better ideas?” James asked, slumping against the wall of his dorm room with desperation plastered across his face. An hour into the school year and the Marauders were already failing in their attempts to woo James’ crush.

“I don’t know, Prongs. We’ve established that you can’t just approach the poor thing and ask her to marry you, THAT would be a horrible attempt at a relationship. You also can’t stalk her the entire year, that’s illegal.” Peter pondered, looking concentrated in thought. “James,” Remus broke his silence, “You’re a smart boy under that flirty exterior. You get good grades and you know how to write. Why don’t you just write down how you feel and pass it along?”

“Remus…you genius.” James replied with complete sincerity, dashing to hug the boy who might have just saved his chances with you. “That’s perfect! She won’t feel expected to respond, I can say all I need to say without tensing up around her, and I don’t even have to expose myself if she doesn’t like me back! It can be anonymous, yes!” James rambled as he searched his desk for a spare sheet of paper and a quill, ignoring the silent glances his friends gave to one another, teasing him mentally.

A sweet baby blue envelope was retrieved from his stack of correspondence material, lined on his desk as he began to write. “Looks like we don’t need to tell you what to say then, Prongsie?” Sirius commented to the quiet room as all four of them attended to their own business. James hummed in reply, tongue sticking out from his lips in concentration as his eyebrows dipped together. “Just have…to get this…right…” he murmured, pouring his heart out onto the paper.

Not too subtle, but refined, like a gentleman. Not too pushy, but still explicit in his feelings. Anonymous, but hinting at who your new secret admirer could possibly be. A flourish of shifting paper filled the quiet air as James tucked his note into the envelope, finally scribbling your name on the surface.

Stood in front of your dorm room, James shifted his weight from his left foot to his right as he weighed his options. Your uncharacteristic chatter could be heard from behind the wood, though all he could make out were his friends’ names and an unmistakably annoyed tone hung on your words.

“James” you continued, and his heart began to swim laps around his chest. You sounded confused and frustrated as you rambled on, allowing James to take a beat as he collected himself.

Your voice softened, and he took this as his call to action. He slipped the note beneath the door and pursued the safety of his own dorm before he could get caught.

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

“EHEM! ‘To the only creature I could ever admire,’” Charlie began her dramatic reading of the mysterious note left under your dorm room door. “I have the greatest honour in being met with your stunning eyes, soft skin and quiet personality everyday when I pass you in the hall. The classes I share with you are moments in which my heart flutters at the sound of your gentle voice. The intelligence you hold and your refined sensibility could never be matched by a boy like me-’ ooh it’s a boy!! Ehem, sorry…‘but this is my best effort at showing that I am worthy of your love. I’ve seen the beauty you hold behind those guarded walls and I would sell my soul to bathe in its light. Make me yours, and I’ll give you the moon, the sun, and the stars in the sky.’ Oh! And it’s signed, ‘Forever yours…’”

You were stunned into an impression of a statue, barely showing the rise and fall of your chest. Hope smirked at the deep blush hovering over your cheeks while Charlie caught her breath from her award-winning performance. The room was still, a curiosity lingering in the air as all three of you began to silently ponder, who could this mysterious suitor be?

“Well, it says here that he thinks you’re out of his league- oh, damn! That doesn’t narrow it down…” Charlie joked to ease the tension and a fit of giggles erupted from the surface of your bed. “If it were up to me, dear, I’d start crossing names off of a list!” Hope laughed, though her smile fell as you and Charlie looked at her with faces of realisation.

“That’s what we’ll do.” You spoke for the first time since the note arrived, “We’ll write down every boy who could fit this description and narrow down the options!” You said with a glint of determination in your eye.

“So you’re interested in this secret admirer?” Charlie smirked, though her face emitted a sense of hope. “If he can speak so honestly about all of this,” you gestured to the note, “then I believe his maturity might just be worth it.”

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

Four pairs of eyes locked on you as you entered the Great Hall for breakfast. James was visibly more flustered than the others, but the rest of them were equally as invested in your reaction to the note.

You and your friends sat down with quiet whispers and glances down the table. As your eyes passed over the group of trouble makers they immediately paid special interest to their plates of food. Sirius began to pick at his eggs, Peter at his fruit and Remus stole quick sips from his juice. James gulped around nothing as he stared at his reflection in his plate, willing the bright flare of red occupying his face to fade away.

Once the three of you had moved your focus to a small huddle around your breakfast, the selection of Gryffindor boys immediately returned to ogling. “Can any of you see what they’re doing? Is that a quill in her hand?” Peter questioned. You shared quick giggles with your friends that disrupted the secrecy of your activity. The Marauders couldn’t quite place what you were doing, but they knew it would have something to do with the letter.

“An eye for mischief that one has, Prongs, what a cheeky couple you’d make- Ouch!” Sirius was interrupted by a sharp kick from his best friend under the table, though James’ eyes never left your frame.

Suddenly, your group took on faces of empathy, severity and concern, glancing at each other from your hunched positions. You trained your gaze on the boys who were discussing you, once again causing them to occupy themselves with the activities of breakfast.

After a lingering stare, you shifted back to the safety of your team and resumed your actions with a resolved expression.

“What do you think that was all about- Ow Prongs, what the bloody hell did I do?”

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

You gently opened the doors to the Great Hall, quill and notebook tucked behind your back. Charlie and Hope accompanied you to seats by the Gryffindor table, glancing over the potential perpetrators of last night’s events.

With a final look over your eligible bachelors, you sat down and began to work, sheltered by your friends. “I think this is pretty much the entire male cohort of Gryffindor…” you giggled breathlessly, pondering the dense list of names placed in front of you. Charlie and Hope joined in on your humour, scanning the list to double check your memory, then glancing around once more.

“Oh…um, w-well,” Charlie started, “there is one group we haven’t quite considered yet…” You and Hope turned towards the girl, who glared at you with an uncharacteristically subtle, mental comment. All three of you turned to face the Marauders, who were busy devouring their plates full of breakfast.

Your gaze lingered on each one. Sirius was no match for your intelligence and humility. You were certainly out of Peter’s league. Remus could convey that quiet poeticism that made you blush when the note was read out. James was always unpredictable. He did succeed in classes and he could potentially feel intimidated by your presence, or he could just be a dickhead. Either way, all four boys were, unfortunately, eligible suspects.

You returned to your coven of secrecy, hunched forms plotting over your notebook. You listed the boys below the pre-existing list of Gryffindor inhabitants that you shared classes with. ‘Sirius, Peter, Remus, James.’

——————— ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ———————

Potions class finally arrived as the sun threatened to set in the faded sky. James rushed to his seat, close enough to you to feel sickeningly sweet without making it too weird. He wasn’t being too weird about all of this, right? No, the note was the right approach.

You drifted airily to your seat a few minutes later, resting on the chair as you retrieved your equipment. James felt his heart fight against his chest, pushing to be released from his lovesick body. A goofy smile captured his expression as he gazed at the back of your head in a daze, eventually interrupted by the beginning of class.

Potions came and went, with James struggling to keep his good grades with you just grazing the edges of his eye line. As the class began to fizzle away, and books found themselves tucked in bags or hugged towards chests, James decided this was his chance. Making his way to the front of the class, he smirked with confidence as he attempted to ask for his grade on the most recent assignment.

As he approached the teacher’s desk, he quickly dropped a folded note on your desk as you leaned into your bag on the opposite side. He promptly began his banter as you returned upright, watching as you curiously discovered the note in his peripheral vision.

“…Potter, you’ll get the grade at the same time as the rest of your class. Have some consideration for my free-time the next time you think to ask.” The professor’s words draw his attention back to their discussion, excusing himself with “Apologies, Professor! Have a good evening!” unusually happy for someone who just discovered they wouldn’t know their grade for at least another week.

As he swiftly moved towards his own belongings, a little bit too cocky for his own good and high on the success of his plan, he met a classmate’s back with a thump.

“Oh Merlin, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” He realised who he had run into, your sweet fingers pinching the note you had yet to open as you swivelled around to face him, curiously. “Um, I- I’m sorry!” He rambled as he inched past you, scooping up his belongings and dashing out of the classroom.

Bollocks.

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A/N: TYSM for all the support on the first part! This chapter should hopefully move the story along so we can get to the real fluff >:3 As always, likes and reblogs are immensely appreciated! Comment for part 3 <3

#james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter fic #dead gay wizards from the 70s #aaron taylor johnson #james potter x you #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #fic series #marauders #marauders era #the marauders

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cowboybeepboop · 3 months ago

Note

Please please please write something angsty with Hangman that ends with smut, it doesn't have to be too angsty but I really like how soft you write him

Pairing: Jake “Hangan” Seresin x fem! Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 6.6k

Summary: You’re a psychologist who is currently working with Maverick which means that Jake Seresin is back in your life. The two of you used to be friends but things changed between you during senior year. Seeing him again brings back memories, and feelings you thought you’d suppressed.

Warnings: not even slightly accurate to irl navy experience (I feel like that would be an assumption but nevertheless), mentions of bullying, Jake being a horrible person in the past, hand stuff, oral fem receiving.

a/n: lowkey this was rlly fun to write, I'm not so great at angst so I hope this is good. Again, as always, I hope you enjoy and please send any requests you might have <3 I love to write requests so feel free to send anything! Also also, send me a message if you want to be tagged in future Glen Powell/Hangman fics.

You and Jake went to the same highschool and were great friends yet both late bloomers. You grew into yourself during your sophomore year of college whereas Jake did in Senior year of high school, when he got his big growth spurt and lost his braces. Something about him entirely humiliating you by standing you up on Prom night, something you were looking forward to, simply because of how much you liked him has you holding a grudge.

So when you ran into him during your new position as a clinical psychologist for the Navy, your heart quite literally stopped. You thought that pretending you didn't see him would suffice, but, unfortunately the universe has a completely different plan.

Your boss had introduced you to Maverick, they planned to have you check out his new team in order to make sure they are competent for the missions the government plans for them to complete. That's how you ended up in the gruff man's office every morning, despite his obvious disdain for your presence in their team.

The evening sunlight beats down on you as you stand next to Maverick, watching the team go through their training drills. You notice him glance over at you, before focusing back on the team in front of you.

"How's that observing going for you?" He asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, never taking his eyes off the team performing push-ups.

“Honestly Sir,” you glance over to him, “You’re really good at training, but I think you should be flying missions. You’re too good of a pilot to be stuck on teaching duties.”

Maverick pauses for a moment, caught off guard by your unexpected compliment. It's clear he wasn't expecting you to say that. He huffs, shaking his head as if trying to dismiss what you said.

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises, sweetheart." He smirks and turns to look you in the eye. "I take it you read up on my file, huh? Got all the dirty little details on Mr. Top Gun himself."

“Of course, but my father trained here a couple years after you.” your gaze returns to the aviators, “He’s always looked up to you, says you're one of the greatest.”

Maverick's smirk falters for a second, his expression unreadable. He shifts his weight and adjusts the collar of his shirt, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Your old man, huh?” He clears his throat. “I had no idea." There's a brief pause before he speaks again, his voice taking on a slightly softer tone. "What's he doing nowadays?"

You reply with a shrug, “Not sure. He wasn’t so keen on having a *shrink* hanging around. Said it cramps his style.” Maverick snorts, that sarcastic smirk returning to his face.

"Yeah, that sounds like a pilot, alright." He says with a chuckle. His gaze flicks over to the team, currently going through flight drills. He lets out a deep breath before speaking again, a hint of contemplation in his voice. "Did you ever think about becoming a pilot?”

“I did, but I don't think I meet the height requirement.” you smile up at him. Maverick chuckles at your joke, a rare glimpse of genuine humor in his expression.

"Ah yes, the height requirement. The bane of many short people's existence." He teases, his smirk widening. Before you can respond, both of you turn your attention to the sound of the aviators approaching. They look exhausted but pleased, clearly proud of a job well done.

Jake walks towards you, sweat dripping down his forehead from the strenuous training. He stands a little too close, his eyes fixed on you and his breathing heavy. "Hey, Y/N." Jake says, his voice strained from the workout. "You got a minute?” you shift your gaze to the older man at your right, clearing your throat before speaking.

“No, I’m quite busy.” your usual playful tone is replaced with a distant and cold one.

Maverick picks up on your plea immediately, his expression hardening at the sight of Jake's attempt to speak with you. He steps forward slightly, creating a small barrier between you and Jake.

Jake looks taken back by your cold response, his cocky demeanor slipping slightly. He glances between you and Maverick, clearly confused. "Ah, come on. Just a quick minute." He presses.

“There’s time to talk later.” Maverick interrupts, making you sigh in relief. Jake's cocky smile falters at your cold rejection and Maverick's intervention. He glances at the older man, clearly annoyed by his interruption.

"It's alright, Maverick," he says, trying to shrug off Maverick's protective stance. "I just wanted to talk to Y/N for a second. It won't take long." you cower behind Mav, unwilling to face Jake alone again.

Rooster interrupts the tense situation, “Mav, should we hit the showers? Or is there more training to be done?” Jake’s face darkens at Rooster’s question, clearly frustrated that his attempt to speak with you is being constantly interrupted. He clenches his jaw, his irritation palpable.

Maverick, however, remains calm. He gives you a reassuring look before turning to face his team. "Yeah, you guys go ahead and hit the showers." Maverick says, his hand still on your shoulder. "I’ll take care of the situation here." The team nods, sensing the tension in the air, and starts making their way towards the showers.

You avoid Jake's gaze, biting down on your lower lip as you sigh with the tension between the three of you. As the team heads off to the showers, the tension in the air still hangs heavily. Jake stands there, hands on his hips, as he stares at you with a mix of disappointment and anger.

Meanwhile, Maverick's hand goes to your shoulder, a silent show of support. "You really going to keep avoiding me like this?" Jake finally blurts out, breaking the silence.

“If I can.” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re like a damn hawk.” Mav gives you a quizzical gaze before you sigh. “It’s okay Sir, I’ll talk to him” he gives you a soft nod, heading off toward the buildings.

Once Maverick leaves, Jake's attention refocuses on you, his gaze narrowing as he steps closer. "You’ve been avoiding me all week. We need to talk." His voice is firm, his frustration evident.

“It’s only been a couple days,” you protest, Jake's annoyance only grows at your words, his jaw tightening as he steps even closer, closing the space between you.

"A couple of days?! It's felt like an eternity. And yeah, I remember our last conversation. It didn't exactly go well." He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing as he looks down at you. "You can't keep brushing me aside like this."

You take a few steps back, sighing with defeat. “Jake, why do you care so much now?” Jake's eyes flick down to the space between you, watching you take a few steps back. His expression softens slightly as he hears the resignation in your voice.

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration etched across his features. "Why do I care?” he repeats, as if the answer should be obvious. “Because I..." He trails off, his own emotions catching him off guard. He pauses, grappling with the words he wants to say, before finding them again.

You gulp, brushing past him heading toward the buildings. Jake turns, his eyes following you as you try to brush past him. He reaches out, his hand encircling your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

"Hey, wait." His voice is softer now, more pleading. "Please, just stop and listen to me for a second."

“Okay, fine.” you pull your wrist from his grasp. Jake's hand hangs in the air for a moment after you pull away, your sharp movement surprising him slightly. But he quickly regains his composure and drops it back to his side.

He takes a deep breath and steps closer to you. He wants to reach out and touch you again, but he restrains himself. "I just... I can't stand this. This constant avoidance."

“Worked well for you when it was you avoiding me.” you bite back.

Jake's face flushes slightly, guilt flashing across his features. Your words hit him like a punch to the gut, reminding him of his own past behavior. He lets out a frustrated breath, his gaze dropping to the ground. "That was different..."

“It’s not and you know it.” your head lowers as your mind goes back to your previous conversation, where you confessed your feelings for him and he shut them down quickly. Jake looks at you as your head lowers, regret in his eyes. He instinctively reaches out, gently placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Baby, please." His voice is soft, almost pleading. "Just let me talk for a minute." His touch is tentative, as if he's afraid you'll brush him away again. He wants you to hear him out, but he doesn't want to push you further away in the process.

You’re taken aback by the pet name, allowing him time to speak. Jake notices the effect his words have on you, a flicker of hope sparking in his eyes. He realizes that he might have a chance to explain himself now.

He takes a deep breath and begins, his voice steady but sincere. "When you told me about your feelings, it took me completely by surprise. I didn't expect it at all. And, honestly, I didn't know how to handle it." His gaze drops to the ground for a moment, his hand lightly squeezing your shoulder.

You take a deep breath, “Jake,” you move his hand from you. “The only reason you care now is because, because I’m finally *decent* enough for your attention.”

Jake's expression darkens at your words, a mixture of anger and regret in his eyes. He knows your words carry truth, and it hurts. "That's not true." he protests, his voice tight. "If I'm here now, it's not because I suddenly think you're *decent enough*. It's because..."

“Because what?” your eyes scan his face.

Jake runs a hand through his hair, struggling to find the words to explain himself. His eyes lock onto yours, as he tries to convey the depth of his emotions.

"Because I realize now what an idiot I've been," he bursts out, his frustration and remorse clear in his tone. "But... something changed and I..."

“What changed?” you sigh, Jake's eyes drop to the ground as he grapples with how to answer. He runs a hand through his hair before looking back up at you.

"I don't know," he admits, his voice quieter now, "maybe it was time, or realizing I'm not a kid anymore, but..." He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. "You're different now. You've grown, you've become this..." He gestures towards you, struggling to find the right words.

“Jake stop..” you look up at him with wary eyes, “That's not fair,”

Jake stops, his eyes widening at your words. "What do you mean it's not fair?" He steps forward, confusion and frustration etched in his expression.

"I'm trying to explain myself, to make you understand why I care now," he says, his voice straining to remain calm. "How is that not fair?"

“Why? Why now?” your voice becomes louder with your growing frustration. Jake's own frustration flares up in response to your growing anger. His hands clench into fists at his sides as he tries to control his emotions.

"I can't explain why now!" he snaps, his voice rising to match yours. "I don't know why I didn't say anything before. I was a dumbass, and I'm sorry!" He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving your face. "I... I just wish I could go back and fix everything.”

You open your mouth to speak, yet nothing leaves your lips. Jake notices your hesitation and his expression softens slightly, hope flickering in his eyes. He takes a step closer, his voice quieter now.

"Please. Just... say something. Anything." his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer, his hand pressing into the small of your back. You stay silent, unable to process his words and find a response.

Jake's touch on your waist is firm but not overpowering. He pulls you closer, his eyes searching your face for some kind of response. He notices your silence, the way you seem to be frozen in place. His brow furrows with concern. "Please, talk to me," he pleads. "Don't just stand there."

You cover his mouth with your hand, needing a second to think. Jake freezes as you place your hand over his mouth, preventing him from speaking any further for the moment. He instinctively responds to your touch, however, pressing a soft kiss against your palm.

His eyes fix on yours, full of hope and anticipation, waiting for you to speak. You feel your guard dropping with his affection, leaning into his body.

Jake pulls you closer as you lean into him, his arms wrapping fully around you. The tension in the air eases slightly as he holds you tight against his body, his heart racing against your chest. He takes a deep breath, his chin resting on the top of your head. "Please, just talk to me," he whispers into your hair, his voice gentle and desperate.

“Jake…” you press your forehead against his shoulder, “I..” Jake feels your forehead press against his shoulder, and he holds you a little tighter, his arms encircling you like a protective veil.

"Please," he repeats, his voice barely a whisper, "tell me what you're thinking." He gently tucks a finger under your chin, gently tilting your head up to meet his gaze. His eyes search yours, desperate for some kind of response.

Your eyes glance to his lips, hands grasping his sides. “I, uh. I don’t know what to say,” your tongue flicks out to wet your lip. Jake's body tenses as he leans in towards you, his breath warm against your lips. He holds you tightly, his grip firm but gentle.

"You don't have to say anything," he murmurs, the corners of his lips barely brushing against yours, "Just... just let me show you." His eyes search yours, filled with a deep mixture of desire and vulnerability. Waiting for your response, for any sign that it's okay to proceed.

“Jake..” you murmur, his breath hitches at the tone of your voice, the sound of his name on your lips sending a shiver down his spine. He leans in even closer, his lips mere millimeters from yours, his eyes locked on yours.

"Say it again," he whispers, his voice low and rough. "Say my name again." you shake your head in response, pressing your lips to his. Jake's heart stutters at the touch of your lips against his. He responds immediately, the tension between you snapping as he kisses you back.

He molds his body against yours, one hand gripping your hip to pull you tighter against his chest. The other hand moves to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair. He kisses you deeply, a thousand unsaid words translated through the contact.

Your desire momentarily outweighs your grudge against him. Your resistance fades further as Jake's hand slides down your back, his touch igniting a fire within you. He caresses your body with a combination of firm desire and tender finesse, as if he's both demanding and reverent.

His hand cups your ass, his touch a combination of possessive and loving. He pulls you even closer, pressing your body fully against his, his tongue delving deeper into your mouth. He kisses you hungrily, his body craving more, but his hands remain gentle and careful.

Jake pulls back from the kiss, his forehead resting against yours. Both of you gasp for air, chests heaving as you take a moment to catch your breath.

His eyes remain locked onto yours, a mix of desire, hope, and something else - something deeper - swirling within them. His hands remain on your body, his touch possessive but tender. He runs his thumb over your cheek, a soft gesture of affection. "Say something," he murmurs again, his voice gruff with need.

“I think,” you take a deep breath, “I think I should leave Jake.” your hands fall from his sides.

As you speak, as those words leave your lips, something flickers in Jake's eyes. Fear, regret, desperation, all battling for dominance within him. He feels your hands fall away from his sides and his own hands tighten slightly on your hips, as if reflexively trying to pull you back.

"Please, don't go." His voice is thick with emotion, his grip on you bordering on pleading. "Please." your hands cup his cheeks, pulling him in for another deep kiss. Your brain constantly fighting the way your body clings to him.

As your lips meet in another deep kiss, Jake melts into your touch like a man starved. His hands move to your waist, pulling you flush against his body, his touch firm and possessive.

He kisses you hungrily, his tongue delving into your mouth, seeking connection and reassurance. His heartbeat thuds against your chest, his body reacting to your touch with a mix of need and desperation.

He doesn't want to let you go. Not now. Jake's body presses even closer against yours, his leg slipping in between yours, creating a tantalizing friction as he wedges himself between your thighs.

His hands roam your body, his touch both rough and tender, a manifestation of the emotions he can't quite find words for. His mouth moves down your neck, his kisses becoming more insistent, more possessive, like a man marking his claim.

He needs you, and he's making it painfully clear. You moan softly, your head leaning to the side to give him better access. Jake's hands grip your hips as he kisses your neck, his lips tracing a path of fire along your skin. The sound of your soft moans only emboldens him, his own body responding to your noises in kind.

You feel him harden against you, a physical reminder of his desire for you. His kisses grow more intense, his teeth gently nipping at your skin as he tries to reign in his self-control.

He wants more. He needs more. He growls against your skin, his hands moving under your shirt, his fingers tracing up your sides. He nips lightly at your collarbone, his own need growing with each sound that leaves your lips.

“Mm Jake,” you push against his chest, “Wait.” Jake's body stills as you push against his chest, his mind still clouded with desire. He pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes hazy and dark.

He tries to process what you're saying, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts. He swallows hard, trying to control his racing heart. "Wait... what?" His voice is low and hoarse, his body still pressed against yours, his hands gripping your hip.

“Take me home,” you murmur, intoxicated by his body on yours. Your lips press to his with hunger, arms wrapping around his neck. Jake's brain struggles to process your words, his body still caught in the haze of desire that surrounds you both. But as your lips brush against his again, the sound of your voice, filled with need, cuts through the fog.

He responds to your hunger with his own, pulling you even closer, his arms wrapping around your waist. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, his body pressed completely against yours.

When the kiss finally breaks, he rests his forehead against yours, his voice a ragged whisper. "Yes. Anything you want." you nod against his head, pulling him closer as you’re unwilling to let him go.

Jake holds you tight as you nod, his arms encircling you possessively, not wanting to let you go either.

He takes a moment to compose himself, taking a deep breath and trying to gather his thoughts. But the feeling of you in his arms, the sound of your voice, the scent of your skin, they all cloud his mind and make it difficult to do anything but touch you.

He nuzzles his face into your neck, his voice low and rough. "We need to go."

“Mhm,” your hands wander down his chest, to his lower abdomen, moving to his belt. “We really need to,” Your touch on his body sets his nerves on fire, his muscles tensing under your hands as you move them lower. The feel of your fingers on his belt sends a shiver down his spine, his breath hitching at the contact.

He swallows hard, trying to maintain his composure, but your proximity and your touch make it difficult. He grips your hips tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he tries to control himself. His voice, when he speaks, is a rough murmur. "Not here.”

You reluctantly pull away from him, handing him the keys from your pocket. Jake takes them from you, his fingers brushing against yours, the contact electric. He watches you pull away, his eyes following your movements closely.

He clenches the keys in his fist, the cold metal a stark contrast to the heat in his veins. His body thrums with need, the need to touch you, to hold you, to *claim* you.

He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Lead the way." you slide into the passenger seat of your car, putting your address into the gps, restlessly waiting for him inside. Jake slides into the driver's seat beside you, his movements quick and urgent. The sight of you in the seat next to him, the knowledge that he's about to take you home, only serves to heighten his desire.

He starts the car, his hand gripping the gear shift tightly, his knuckles turning white. He glances over at you, taking in your restless demeanor, and a smirk crosses his lips. He knows exactly how affected you are, and it only makes his own need surge. Your hand falls to his lap as you squeeze your legs together in anticipation of what's to come.

Jake's breath hitches as your hand lands on his lap, the touch sending a jolt through his body. He can tell how tightly you're holding yourself, how the anticipation is affecting you, and it only adds to his own desire.

His eyes flicker down to your hand on his lap, and he has to fight the urge to pull the car over and take you right then and there.

He keeps his eyes on the road, his grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled. "We're almost there." His voice is hoarse, filled with tension.

“Almost,” you whisper in response, moving your fingertips over his bulge, teasing his body.

Your fingers brush over his erection, and he lets out a strangled gasp. His hand flies to yours, pressing your hand against him, as if trying to both stop you and encourage you at the same time.

He clenches his jaw, his body tensing at your touch. "Tease," he mutters through clenched teeth, his eyes darting from the road to you and back again. He groans, his body aching for release. You move closer, using your free hand to unbuckle his belt.

You successfully remove his belt, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Jake's breath catches in his throat as you move closer, your hands working on removing his pants. His body tenses, both in anticipation and because he's trying to focus on driving.

He bites back another curse as you unbutton and unzip his pants, his eyes flickering between the road and your hands. He grips the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles white with tension. "We're almost there," he repeats, his voice strained. "Just... just hold on a little longer."

“Fifteen more minutes,” you groan, hand sliding into his pants. Jake's body jerks at your touch, his hips lifting involuntarily, seeking more of your touch. He lets out a low, ragged groan, struggling to keep his focus on the road.

He looks at you, his eyes dark and intense. "Fifteen minutes," he repeats in agreement, his voice gravelly and rough, "that's it. I can last fifteen minutes." He reaches down, his hand covering yours, but not pushing you away, his touch firm and possessive.

“Mm, but I can’t.” you murmur as you free him from his boxers, his erection standing straight up. Your words and your touch send a shiver down Jake's spine, his body responding to your every move.

He closes his eyes for a moment, your touch like fire to his skin, the air in the car suddenly thick. "Jesus," he breathes, his head falling back, "you're going to make me crash."

As you stroke him gently, Jake's eyes fly open, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able to drive," he warns, his voice strained with desire.

Ignoring Jake's warning, you lean in and press a soft kiss to his jaw, sending shivers down his spine. His body jolts with surprise and pleasure. Your hand continues to stroke him as your mouth moves closer to his erection, and with a strangled groan, he abruptly pulls the car over to the side of the road, the tires screeching against the pavement.

His eyes lock onto yours, a mix of desire and alarm, but he says nothing as you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, the heat of your mouth enveloping him. His hands fly to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as you begin to suck, the rhythm slow and tantalizing.

His hands grasp your shoulders, gently but firmly, and he pulls you away from his lap. "Wait, wee can't do this here," he says, his voice strained with need and concern. His eyes are dark with desire, but he's visibly fighting to regain control. "Not here, this wouldn’t be right." His words hang in the air, and for a moment, the only sound is the heavy panting of your breath and the pulsing of his erection against your hand.

You reluctantly pull back, your own desire warring with the understanding in his gaze. "Let's go to your place," he suggests, his voice still thick with lust. "We can... talk things out properly there." He releases you, his hands dropping to the steering wheel as he takes several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart.

He speeds to your place, rushing to get you inside. The tension in the car is palpable as Jake shifts it into park, his eyes never leaving yours. You both exit the vehicle, and he takes your hand in his, his touch surprisingly gentle given the fiery passion that had flared between you moments ago. As you enter your townhouse, the urgency from the car seems to dissipate slightly, allowing for a brief moment of awkwardness to settle in.

You unlock the door and lead him inside, the cool air conditioning a stark contrast to the heat that still simmers between you. Once the door is closed, Jake turns to you, his gaze searching your face for any hint of regret or hesitation. Seeing none, he leans in, capturing your mouth in a kiss that's both desperate and tender.

Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, as if trying to erase the years of hurt and distance. His hands roam over your body, reacquainting themselves with your curves, and for a moment, it feels like no time has passed at all.

The kiss deepens, and Jake's hands move to the button of your pants, his fingers deftly undoing it and sliding the zipper down. You gasp into his mouth as he breaks the kiss, his eyes never leaving yours as he kneels before you. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear, exposing your bare skin to the cool air.

His gaze travels downward, taking in your wetness with a mix of hunger and awe. "Fuck," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire, before pressing his mouth to your inner thigh, kissing and nipping the sensitive flesh as he moves closer to your center. His tongue traces the line of your pussy, eliciting a moan from deep within you. His hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as he kisses and licks you with purposeful strokes, the heat of his breath sending waves of pleasure through your body.

You lean back, falling into the couch, your legs spreading wider, giving him full access to explore and taste you. The tension of the day dissipates as he worships your body, his mouth working magic on your clit, his hands exploring and caressing you as if trying to make up for lost time. The air is thick with the scent of arousal, the only sounds in the room your muffled moans and the wet sounds of his tongue against your skin.

Jake's eyes meet yours again, and you can see the need in them, the raw desire that matches your own. You reach down, threading your fingers through his hair, urging him closer, whispering his name as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge.

As Jake continues to kiss and suck on your clit, you can't help but squirm against his mouth, the sensations building to an unbearable peak. You grab onto his shoulders for support, your moans growing louder with each passing moment.

Suddenly, the dam breaks and you cum hard, your body shaking with the intensity of your orgasm. He doesn't pull away, instead, he laps up every drop of your release, groaning with his own pleasure at the taste of you.

As the waves of pleasure subside, you collapse onto the couch, panting and trembling, your eyes fluttering open to meet his intense gaze. He stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face. "See, we can still get along," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust.

The sight of him standing there, looking so confident and desperate for more, makes your heart race. You can't deny the pull between you, the undeniable chemistry that's always been there. But as you look into his eyes, you know that this isn't just about sex.

Jake's kisses slowly travel up your legs, turning from hungry to gentle pecks that make your skin tingle with sensitivity. His eyes never leave yours as he shifts his body, moving from his knees to the couch beside you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, and you can feel his heart racing in sync with your own.

His other hand continues to trace patterns on your bare thigh, the softness of his touch a stark contrast to the fervor of moments ago. His eyes are filled with a tenderness that you never knew existed within him, and it's this that has your chest tightening with a mix of emotions.

With trembling hands, Jake fumbles with his zipper, the metal teeth parting with a low hiss. His eyes never leave your face, the intensity of his gaze setting your skin alight. He swiftly pushes his pants down to his thighs, freeing his erection. It stands tall and proud, a testament to his desire. The room feels like it's closing in, the air thick with anticipation.

You pull him to you by his collar, kissing his lips hungrily. The fabric of his shirt is rough against your skin, but the heat of his body underneath is anything but. His tongue meets yours with an urgency that mirrors your own, your kisses deepening as his hand slides up your shirt, palming your breast. You arch into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips as his thumb grazes your nipple.

He pulls you onto his lap, your legs straddling his thighs. He kisses you again, his tongue invading your mouth with a passion that leaves you breathless. You can feel him, hot and hard, pressing against your wetness, and it's all you can do to not grind down onto him immediately.

Jake's hands are everywhere, exploring the curves of your body as if he's worshiping a sacred relic. You can feel the heat of his breath against your skin as he kisses down your neck, leaving a trail of soft, sucking marks that make you shiver with pleasure. His teeth graze your skin, not hard enough to break it, but enough to leave a sting that makes your pulse race.

As your moans fill the quiet room, you can't help but move your hand to wrap around his erection. Your grip is firm, your strokes measured as you watch his face contort with pleasure. His eyes are closed, his head thrown back, and the noises he makes are pure, unadulterated ecstasy. You stroke him faster, your hand moving in a rhythm that matches the beat of your racing heart.

His hips buck upward, meeting your hand with each stroke, his breath coming in short, ragged pants. You can feel the tension in his body, the coiled spring of his muscles ready to snap. And when he's right there, on the precipice of climax, his head falls forward into the crook of your neck, his mouth finding your skin.

The feel of his needy moans against your flesh sends a shiver down your spine, your own body responding to the raw, primal sounds. You tighten your grip, your strokes becoming quicker, more erratic, your own breathing syncing with his. Each moan that escapes his lips is like a command, urging you to bring him over the edge.

His body tenses beneath you, his muscles tightening like a bowstring about to snap. And then it happens. With a guttural moan, he cums undone in your hand, his release hot and sticky as it coats your palm and fingers. His hips jerk upward, his cock pulsing in your grip as he rides out the waves of pleasure. His eyes squeeze shut, and his breath comes out in sharp gasps.

For a moment, there's silence, save for the sound of your own racing heart and his labored breathing. You sit there, still straddling him, watching him come down from the high of his orgasm. His chest is heaving, his eyes still closed as he savors the feeling.

You slide from his lap, relaxing into your couch as the weight of your actions crashes over you. You turn your back to him, biting your lip as you think about what to do next.

Jake watches you, his eyes tracing the curves of your body, still trying to regain his breath. He reaches out, his hand brushing against your arm, his touch gentle but insistent. "Look at me," he murmurs, his voice raspy and rough.

You turn to him with a breathy sigh, avoiding his gaze. Jake notices your averted eyes, his fingers moving to your chin, gently lifting it until you're forced to meet his gaze.

"Don't look away," he whispers, his eyes searching yours. "I want to see you."

"Jake," you whisper his name, eyes softening at his expression. You knew it wasn’t a mistake, it couldn't be, not on your part. You've been in love with him your whole life, but what if it was all lust for him.

Jake cups your face in his hands, his thumbs tracing the lines of your cheekbones. He can see the mixture of emotions in your eyes - love, lust, fear, and regret. He gently shakes his head, his gaze intense.

“Jake, is this really what you wanted?” you take a deep breath, “Not just some game to you?”

Jake watches you intently as you withdraw, his hands falling to your waist, his touch firm yet gentle. "This isn't a game to me," he says, his voice serious. "It never was."

He pulls you closer, his eyes locked onto yours. "I've always wanted you, more than anything else," he continues, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin. "But I thought I lost my chance with you a long time ago." he presses a soft kiss to your chest.

The tension in your body vanishes the second he speaks, you relax into his touch, audibly sighing. “Always?”

Jake smiles, his hands roaming your body as if trying to memorize every contour. "Always," he confirms, his voice a whisper. "Since we were kids." He pulls you onto his lap, cradling you against his chest. He can feel your tension melting away, replaced by an air of comfortable intimacy.

“You’re confusing,” you sigh, feeling his hands pulling you closer to him, his chin resting on top of your breasts.

Jake chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. "I know," he replies, his arms encircling you possessively. "I've always had a habit of making you scratch your head, haven't I?"

He nuzzles his face against your chest, his tongue tracing a gentle line between your cleavage. "But that's nothing new," he whispers, his voice husky with desire. "I've always gotten a kick out of confusing you."

You gasp in response to his tongue, hands squeezing his shoulders. “Mm, fuck.” Jake feels your hands clenching his shoulders, and he grins against your skin, his tongue continuing to explore the valley between your breasts.

"Language, princess," he teases, his voice laced with amusement. "You know how I feel about filthy mouths."His lips move up to your neck, gently nipping at the sensitive skin. "Makes me want to shut you up."

“Are you going to be able to be professional at work?” your murmur, hands tangling in his hair as you force him to look at you.

Jake chuckles, his eyes meeting yours. "Are you kidding me?" he counters, his grin widening. "When have I ever been professional when it comes to you?"

He shakes his head, pulling you closer until your bodies are flush against each other. "I've been trying to hide how I feel about you for years. Do you really think now that I've finally got you in my arms, I'm going to play it cool at work?"

“Jake,” you purse your lips at him, pressing a quick peck to his. “You know that I already have a problem with your coworkers…I don't want to make it worse.”

Jake lets out a groan of frustration, his hands moving to the small of your back, pulling you even closer. "I know, I know," he mutters, his lips returning to your neck. "But can you blame me for acting like a possessive jerk? You've got all those guys drooling over you, and it drives me insane."

“They only drool over me because of how form fitting my uniform is,” you reply sweetly, “Now imagine if they saw me in a bikini.” you whisper against his ear teasingly.

Jake's grip on you tightens, his breath hitching at your words. "A bikini," he repeats, his voice dropping an octave. "Now that's a mental image I'll have trouble getting out of my head."

He pulls back slightly to look at you, his gaze dark with desire. "You like teasing me, don't you?" he accuses, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "You know what that does to me."

“I think we need to take a beach trip one of these days,” you smile innocently.

Jake's hands continue to roam your body, his touch growing more possessive. "A beach trip?" he echoes, his mind already filling with images of you in a bikini. "That's a dangerous idea, princess."

He leans in, his lips moving to your ear. "But I like how you think," he murmurs, his voice low and seductive.

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entername322 · 9 months ago

Text

Someone like you

Chaewon (ex Izone, Le Sserafim) x Male Reader

Length: 17666 words

TW: Abusive relationship

Next part

Pain, that's all you can say about yourself. Why does falling in love always have a risk of heartbreak? Sometimes you wonder if the risk outweighs the gains. For your particular case, it doesn't, it never has. “...... and then I came home to see him decorated the whole place with flowers and candles. Isn't he so romantic?” Right, flowers and candles, you know where that was going. “Yeah, that sounds great Chae”, It felt like your heart was being plucked out of your heart and set on fire. Why is your love stronger than your heart, if only your love breaks before your heart does. “He's so romantic sometimes, I love him so much-, Awwww”, Her cries of pain distract you from the twisting feeling your chest feels.

“I'm sorry Chae”, You steady your hands and continue stitching her wounds. “It's fine, thanks for this Pup, I owe you a lot”, You cringed a little hearing her nickname for you. “Chae we're both grown up now can you please stop calling me that?” It's a cute nickname, which only hurts you more realising that this is as far as you can get from being with her. “No, you will always be the cute little puppy”, Yes you are, who's a good puppy? The guy who keeps simping for his crush even after she's been in a relationship for a year now. It's you by the way, you're the good puppy, so loyal to your master. “There, all done, now just the bandages”, A good puppy who has graduated from medical school, hey that means you can take care of your master even better now. “Is it really okay for you to do this for free?” What dog would ask their owner for money? Alright let's lay off the dog jokes, you're still lame by the way.

“It's fine, they're cheap”, Even if they aren't, you wouldn't charge her anything right? “Thank you, I really mean it. I don't know how I can even repay you pup”, Chae grabbed your arm, her warm palm felt like a red hot iron that scorched your skin. “Yeah, it's fine. It's my job to care for people's lives after all”, You tried your best to smile at her, to show her you're doing this out of the goodwill of your heart. “You're just so, kind and stupid sometimes. If only he can be more like you”, She muttered the last part but it was loud enough for you to hear it. It fucking hurts, so fucking painful hearing something so ignorantly brutal. “So, how's work? Everything is fine in the hospital?” If Chaewon noticed your pained smile then she doesn't show it. “Nothing interesting is happening so far, although there's an offer for a transfer. I haven't read much about it but it will be a year long ‘voluntary work’. It's not fully voluntary though because we're gonna get paid decently, and we're gonna be working with a few other volunteers from all over the country”, Chaewon tilted her head curiously, “Are you gonna take it?” You were surprised to hear her words. It caught you off guard so you didn't get to hear a little hint of anxiousness in her words.

“I don't know, it's interesting”, Maybe that's what you need, a time away from your crush. “Oh, I'm sure you'll do great in it”, Chaewon smiles encouragingly, which only hurts you even more. Honestly, what were you expecting? Did you think she would ask you to stay here? Tell you how much she needs her and doesn't want you to leave? Come on bro, she's not like that. “Yeah, I was thinking about taking it”, You didn't really mean that when you say that, however seeing her genuine encouraging smile made you really consider it for real. “Well, I need to go home, thanks again for today pup, I owe you a lot”, Chaewon stood up with a smile on her face ready to leave. “Yeah see you later Chae”, You just sit there watching her leave your place while a storm is brewing in your mind.

“Fuck”, You muttered to yourself, completely unaware that Chaewon is also cursing herself once she left your house. “Goddamnit pup why do you have to leave. You idiot”, The stinging pain in her arm is gone, covered with the sour mood she felt in her heart. “It's been years already and you're still waiting for me”, Oh, she does notice your feelings it seems. Of course she does, the two of you have known each other for years now. The memory of your meeting plays very differently between you and Chaewon's mind. For her she remembers how clumsy and cute you were, stumbling over your own words, overdosing on teenage hormones because of talking to a girl. For you it was an embarrassing attempt at making a friend on your first day of highschool, something that would keep you up at night with cringe.

“Idiot”, She kicked a can on the road out of frustration, but it's not enough so she started stomping on it with the hope of burying down the guilt that's building inside her. It's not that she wanted to use you, but…… she's just busy, or so she thinks. Her boyfriend, uhhhhh his name is irrelevant, is a hassle to deal with. She loves him, he's kind and caring and honest and cute and kind….. it's just sometimes he loses his tempers. Sometimes he would, lash out and accidentally hurt her, but he never meant to do so. It's getting better now (It's not) his outburst is getting less frequent (Pretty sure the ideal and normal frequency is 0) and he always tries to make it up to her (With empty promises and lies).

Chaewon stops stomping on the poor can and just stares at the sky, finally realising it won't help erase the guilt she's having. On her defence she wanted to help you get over your crush for her. She cares about you, and she wants what's best for you. She wanted to introduce you to her friends, let you fall in love with someone who will love you back. Sometimes she thinks about a future where you date someone else, then you and her can be platonic friends, a brother from a different mother. It's just that, when her boyfriend got mad, and she got hurt, she can't run to the hospital because they would pester her about it. She can't run to most of her friends or family because they would also pester her, you're the only one who can help her. You were, the only one who would enable her. Young people, they're so dumb sometimes, both you and her included.

“Haaaaa, why can't we just be friends”, Chaewon sighed, she's not blaming you for your feelings, it would be hypocritical for her to judge someone's feelings when she's being chained by her own feelings. When you told her about the project she wanted to say don't take it, she wants you to stay here, to help her. Thankfully she recognises how selfish she is, and encourages you to leave, to get over your own feelings. It hurts, it feels wrong, seeing you break away from your feelings. Perhaps she yearns to have the courage to break free of her own chains. “I'm back”, Chaewon put on a smile as she got back to her place, “Welcome back babe, how was your day”, Of course for now she can only put on a smile and let herself fall deeper into the abyss.

“Are you sure? You know it won't be an easy trip right?” It's been a week since that talk with Chaewon, and today you are finalising your proposal of joining the volunteer work to your boss. “I'm sure sir, beside…… I need some time away from this place”, Is running away considered a solid reason for joining a harsh voluntary work? “Hmmm, well, if your only reason for taking this job is just a getaway from whatever shit you're dealing here, I suggest don't”, You flinched hearing your boss. “I think I can handle the job boss”, You tried to sound tough, “You know, I always pity you”, That's kinda harsh. “You are a good guy, smart and very nice. You're just too nice I sometimes hope you didn't get scammed and used by other people”, Yeah that sounds kinda familiar alright.

“I want to try something new. I think I can handle the work, and it might help me too”, If you say that with a little more conviction it would sound cool you know. “Haaaaa, youngsters with their self-finding journeys”, He shook his head and signed the form, “Comeback here, in one piece”, A smile form on your face before you quickly nod and bow to him. It's odd, you don't exactly feel excited about it, but you don't feel scared or disappointed about leaving everything behind, you're just numb to it. “Stop daydreaming and prepare the other documents you need”, Your boss slammed his hand on the desk waking you up. “Ahhh right, thank you boss”, He shook his head and sighed seeing your awkwardness, “I really hope you didn't get shot out there”, He's joking right?

After submitting the rest of the paperwork you went back home, had a nice call with your mom where she absolutely desecrated you with her words. “Are you insane? You're doing volunteer work in an active warzone?” Holy shit you are? “I'm not working in the warzone itself, I'm just a civilian mom. I'll be at the refugee camp, away from the battlefield”, That's the word you keep repeating to her for hours before she finally calms down. “Just, tell me it's not because of that Chaewon girl”, 2 hours and 16 minutes into the call your mom finally asked the right question. “No, of course not mom”, You can't lie to your mom, she's the one who teaches you how to lie to your dad. “Are you an idiot? Did I spend months carrying you around and 20 years plus feeding and taking care of you just to have you die somewhere because of a heartbreak?” Oooffff, why can't you be more like your mom?

“No mom, it's I think I-”, A knock on your apartment door can be heard, “Hey pup, are you there?” Speak of the devil. “Mom I'll call you later”, Your voice came off shaky and anxious, the time has come to test your resolve of running away. “Yeah, just a second”, Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and try not to lose your composure.

“What happened?” Come on now, you know what happened, “It's not a big deal, just a scratch”, You reached out and grabbed her face, inspecting her cheek. Chaewon smiles seeing your concerned face, you've always been awkward and shy around her, except when she's injured. When she got a scar you would just disregard your shyness just to make sure she's fine, it's a cute gesture she always likes about you. “I guess, it really is just a scratch”, You sighed relief seeing it wasn't a deep cut, then you realised how you are holding her and immediately let go as your face turns into a tomato. What happened to maintaining your composure?

“So?” Chaewon just tilted her head cutely, “Are you gonna invite me in?” That's a pretty ambiguous question, would you let her in again? “Right come on in”, You're hopeless sometimes. Chaewon sat down at your living room, silently noticing the packed up bag you had in your room. Her heartbeat rises as she realises what it means, some part of her wants to deny it but the other part knows that your leave was inevitable. “Tea?” She smiles and nods as you go and prepare her some of her favourite tea, of course you have her favourite tea at your house. “So, what happened?” You asked after giving her a warm cup of tea, “You know, the usual. He had a stressful day at work, I was also kinda tired from mine and we just clashed”, Usually the ‘clash’ that happens is between her and his fist.

“Well, you know what I want to say right?” Chae shrugged before she stood up and walk towards your cat, “Little Luna is getting fat aren't you?” Chaewon picked her up and started pinching her stomach. “She's gonna cut your face you know that right?” Chaewon laughed and sat back next to you while still holding Luna. “Well, I'm sure you trained her not do that right?” Her smile is such a deadly weapon to your conviction. “It's a cat Chae, you don't train them, they'll train you”, And to hammer this point Luna let out a loud meow and scratched Chaewon's hand. “Luna '', You scolded the fat cat as she jumped off Chaewon's lap, “Hehehe, one day I'll make her enjoy my cuddles”, Chae laughed as you examined her arm.

“We should clean this up”, It's really not that bad, it's just a little cut on the epidermis, “It's really not that deep bro”, You flicked her head and cleaned up her hand as she teases you for over your perfectly reasonable hygiene. “So, can I crash the night here?” Her question made you stop in your tracks, not because it caught you off guard, but because you know she only asked if things really went bad at her place. “Pup?” Chae was taken off guard seeing how quiet you've become, “Chae, I…… can't do this anymore”, She raises her eyebrow hearing you. “Do what?” You sighed and finished cleaning up her hand before sitting in front of her.

“I can't, keep letting you hurt yourself because of-”, You start talking without thinking and Chae immediately bites back, “Stop it, I don't want to hear that from you”, She felt awful for raising her voice but she really doesn't want to hear those things. “Well this might be the last time you ever hear it from me ever again”, You blurted out, making her heart stop for a moment, “What?” Her voice sounds squeaky and vulnerable. “Chae, I'm leaving”, Seeing her suddenly had glassy eyes made you second guess yourself. “For how long?” It's hard for her to accept it, “The volunteer work is one year long, but it might be longer since I'm gonna arrive early to have some field training”, You can't look her in the face, it's painful for you to see her so hurt with the notion of you leaving.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, Luna moves to your lap and starts purring as if she realised you're having a tough time right now. “Is it-”, Chae’s voice broke and she took a second to calm herself down, “Is it final already?” Yet it still came out all squeaky. You didn't answer for a second, hearing her concern for your leave felt nice. It's a dangerous bait, she's giving a false hope that getting her is actually plausible if you stay here. “Yes”, "Oh you actually didn't take the bait, good job, “I already submitted the required paperwork and they already approved it. My flight is in 3 days”, In your mind, you just think Chaewon is trying to use you.

After all this time you finally opened your eyes and saw that she's out of reach, she was never going to like you the way you like her. Obviously you don't really see the complex feelings she has for you but hey at least you're taking a step in the right direction. “How long were you planning to keep this away from me?” Seeing her being aggressive made you feel bitter, you hate seeing her with this new lens. “I didn't know how to tell you, besides…… I didn't think you would care”, Suddenly Chae grabbed your face forcing you to look at her.

“You're my best friend, of course I care. Just because I encourage you to go doesn't mean you should just leave without saying anything”, It's painful, finally realising that the person you care the most is inherently toxic. You're not saying that she's in a toxic relationship because she's also toxic, but she has certainly dragged you into one because she is selfish. Chaewon needs you, because you're the only one who would enable her Stockholm syndrome. “It's just…… I don't know if I can face you”, You pull back your head away from her grip and look back at Luna who's acting cute to cheer you up. “What was that supposed to mean? You can't tell your best friend for, 8 or 9 years that you're leaving? And you just want me to accept that suddenly you went missing without saying anything?”

“Chae….. you know I liked you right”, Silence fills the room, you anxiously wait for her responses, hoping that somehow she can break the new image you had for her. Yet the silence was long and the curiosity you had is too loud to ignore, so you raise your head and look her in the eyes. She wasn't surprised, or confused, or angry, she just had the look of understanding, “I know”, Those words flowed out of her mouth. It was so quiet that it was barely a whisper, yet it echoed through you like a thunderclap. When the ringing subsided the only thing you can hear is the loud crash of your heart breaking into a million pieces. She knew, this whole time she knew about it and never said anything. Had she enjoyed watching you squirm and dance for her while your feelings laid bare like an open wound? Was it some cruel game to her?

Chaewon felt regretful, seeing your heart break right in front of her is tormenting her conscience. It's inevitable, yet she was not prepared for how painful it was for her as well. “I know, and I'm sorry I never said anything-”, Chaewon saw you stand up and stop talking. “I….. god, this whole time?” Tears start to flow down your cheek, “I never meant to use you, I just, don't know what to say to you”, Chae reaches for your hand, her touch sending shivers down your spine, but not the comforting kind like it used to. It feels calculated, manipulative, a stark contrast to the warmth you once associated with it.

Chae sees the disdain you had in your eyes and it made her scared. Scared of losing you, scared of seeing you lose your temper, and worst of all, scared of having to confront the consequences of her actions. “Pup-”, You pull back your hand making her flinch, “Don't call me that. You….. you like seeing me like that didn't you? Being a good puppy, chasing you around, wagging my tail like a loyal dog”, Your words came out as a thunderous roar that made her squirm in her seat. “No, of course not, please I'm sorry, can we talk this out first”, Chaewon reached out to grab your hand again before pulling you to sit back down. “I….. I can't, you're just…….. I….. this whole time…..”, You just keep muttering to yourself. “Please sit down, I'm sorry I messed up okay? Can you please hear me out first?” Chae pleaded as tears also started to pour down her face. Those tears, they're real, but not to you, you think you know better and managed to see through her ‘manipulation tactics’. You grabbed your phone on the table and just stormed off the apartment, running as far away as you can from her.

Chae wanted to stop you, to reach out and grab you, yet her vision is blurred and she can't even see you leave the front door as the floodgates burst open. She can't even hear you slam the front door as she starts to cry her heart out. Her actions can only lead to one outcome, and she knows the longer she stalls the confrontation the worse the fallout is going to be. Unfortunately in her delusion she hopes that one day you'll just let go of your feelings and everything will be good. Your apartment, once a safe haven for her, is now empty and devoid of your warmth. The ‘beautiful friendship’ built upon the unspoken words between the two of you has crumbled like a house of cards by a single gust of wind. Hours passed away before her tears finally dried out. Chaewon lay down on the couch devoid of energy, all she can do right now it's just text you hoping that you'll answer her.

You on the other hand are being absolutely ripped apart by your mom, “You ran all the way here?” Her voice boomed around the house. “Haaaaa, Haaaa, haaaaa, nooo……” Your whole body is drenched by sweat, your mom's place is like a 30 minute train ride and you just ran there like a mad man. “You idiotic rascal, tell me what you did”, Your mom starts slapping you as you are dying from exhaustion. It took a while for her to calm down and give you a drink. Throughout your recollection of what happens your mom keeps the same expression, it was the ‘I told you so’ expression. Once you finished the two of you just sat there in silence, you wanted to say something but words just couldn't come out of your mouth. “Haaaaaa, go take a shower and get some rest darling, you're all sweaty and smelly”, You nod before going back to your childhood bedroom.

As you finish a long hot shower you see Chaewon has messaged you almost a hundred times already alongside a few missed calls. You just stare at the notification, too scared to open it. In the end your fatigue overtake you and you slowly drift off to sleep without reading her texts. The next day you silently join your mom at breakfast, she sees that you're not ready to talk yet so she just silently acknowledges it before giving you farewell as she went to work. The day passes by slowly, it doesn't help that you were just laying down on the bed as you rethink what happened last night. Is Chaewon really a toxic bitch, or was she just a product of her environment. Are you seriously trying to give her a pass for what she did? Okay yeah she's your friend for years now and you've seen her slowly turn from this confident and unapologetic girl into a meek abuse victim. However does that excuse her behaviour of leading you on for years?

No, I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. I need to hear what she has to say at least. One chance, after all I'll be gone soon and I might not be able to see her again for a long time.

Alright, if that's what you want, just know you might lose yourself in her eyes again. “Mom, I need your opinion on something”, That's not exactly a polite way to greet your mom when she gets home. However she nods and follows you to the living room where you recounted your dramatic talk with Chaewon. “Darling, look at me”, Your mom grabbed your hand, “You are being an idiot a hundred percent”, Jeez thanks mom. “But if she is as manipulative as you said she was then it's also not fully your fault. After all, you can't really blame a victim fully for being taken advantage of”, Hey that's not an encouragement for your stupid idea. “Yeah, you're right mom….. I guess a toxic environment would make toxic people right?” Fucking hell you're hopeless. “What? Are you letting this slide already?” Thank fuck your mom wouldn't let such stupidity pass, “No, I just…. I guess I want to understand why she did it. After all I'm gonna be away for a year at least and if I don't get this straight then I might spend the better part of my time being distracted by her”, That's not a convincing argument, at least not for your mom.

“ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? You just said she's a manipulative bitch and now you want to run back to her with the risk of you falling for her trap again?” It felt kinda nice, channelling the pain you're having in your heart with your mom's beating, however you should stop her before she accidentally kills you. “Mom, I just want to leave this place with some peace in mind, okay? Can you just trust me this one time?” The answer is no, but she took a deep breath before she examined you slowly. “I'll trust you just this once, how do you plan to meet her again?” Relief and determination washes over you seeing that your mom has agreed to let you have closure. “I'll text her tonight hopefully we can have lunch before I leave in two days”, Solid plans, surely nothing bad would happen. “Fine, now go order something for dinner, I'm starving”

You: Hey, sorry about yesterday

Chae: Where are you? Why did you ghost me for the whole day? Do you have any idea how worried I was?

You: No sorry Chae I'm at my mom's house already. Sorry for running off like that yesterday

Chae: It's fine, are you coming back?

You: Not today, I need some sleep to clear my mind.

Chae: Then, can we talk tomorrow?

You: I hope so. Can we meet up at lunch?

Chae: That would be nice, I'm sorry too.

You: Yeah, guess we were too hot headed last night

Chae: Yeah, I'll see you back here at your place tomorrow then?

You: You're still there?

Chae: Duhhhh, you left with your keys dangling on your phone, what am I supposed to do? Leave the door unlocked so someone can break in?

You: Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll come by at lunch then, I'll see you tomorrow.

Chaewon has been spending the day with her mind full of anxiety. She's scared that you might do, something drastic. The fact that you didn't answer or even read her text made her think of the worst possibility. However when you finally reply she lets out a sigh of relief knowing that you're fine. Tomorrow, she has to apologise to you, she has to make sure you leave on a high note. If things go wrong and you leave before she can mend this friendship then the two of you would never recover from it. She can't let that happen, after all you're also an important part of her life. Even though it wasn't in the way that you wanted it to be.

You see, the thing about life, it has a humorous side. To whom might the humour cater to? Nobody knows really, but it certainly wasn't aimed at you and Chaewon. “Chae come home now”, Those words are the things Chae feared the most. After every fight her boyfriend has two possible routes he will default too. One, surprise her with gifts and romantic gestures to make sure she remembers how nice he can be. Second, he can double down and try to ‘reason’ with her by making her accept that his outburst is just part of who he is. Unfortunately, today he decided to take the second option, which means if Chaewon didn't comply there's gonna be a second fight. “Can I see you after lunch, I'm-” Her hand is shaking anxiously when she says, “NO, come home now”, And when he interrupts her she almost drops her phone. “Babe please, I have an appointment at lunch”, She pleaded, “Babe…… come home”, He used his cold voice which is the final warning, and Chaewon can only curse her own luck, “Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can”

Chaewon quickly scrambled throughout your apartment, “Fuck me, why the fuck can't anything to right for once”, She glance over the flight ticket you had and memorise the schedule before quickly wrote a note on pen and paper. “Fuck, pup please, for the love of god please understand, I promise I can make it up to you”, She pray, to whomever would listen and grant her wishes. As she writes some tears start to fall down her eyes and stain the paper. It was supposed to be a short note saying how her boyfriend suddenly called and she hopes you can reschedule lunch. However, due to her frustration she ended up writing a long essay saying how much she's sorry and even writing out about the things she wanted to tell you in person. During this she was interrupted with a text message from her boyfriend asking her where she is. Chaewon haphazardly finishes the note before bolting out of the apartment, leaving the door unlocked.

A few hours later you anxiously knock on your apartment door, waiting for her to open the door. Every second felt like an eternity and as time passes your stomach starts to twist making you feel like you want to puke. “Chaewon?” You tried to unlock your door to find it was unlocked, walking inside you call up to Chaewon but the only response you get is Luna purring on the couch. It was clear, she wasn't here, “Fuck”, For the first time in forever you actually yell out your frustration. On the coffee table you find a stack of paper, glancing over it you easily recognise her handwriting.

This is it? This is how we're parting ways Chae? With a stack of notes?

Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and sit down on the couch, try to read the note with an open mind.

Hey pup, sorry but babe wants to meet me. You know how it is, I don't want to make him mad. I really, really, really, like I mean really feel bad for leaving you this note but I sincerely hope you understand. I know I don't deserve to ask for another chance but I hope we can reschedule our lunch tomorrow. If you don't want to, I get it. It'll hurt but I get it. The thing is pup, I never want to hurt you, I really don't. You're kind, strong and smart, I always admire how mature you are and how you can get your shit together. It's hard for me to say this, but I'm sorry that I never felt any romantic attraction towards you.

I don't want to make this cliche but it's not you, it's just me. I know you're cringing right now but just know that sometimes people just aren't made for each other. I love you, as my friend. Sometimes I dream of a different life for us. One where you and I can stay as friends, one where you're my shy, innocent and diligent little brother and I can be your caring and teasing older sister. I know it's hard for you to read this but just know even though you and I are not meant to be, you still have a special place in my heart. And I'm sorry, I never say anything about this.

I was scared, I was confused and I was distracted. Fuck it sounds so bad but I really wanted to help you get over those feelings pup. It's selfish I know, but I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend before I start making things up for you. You know I have a lot of friends, I know you've been eyeing Kazuha some times, and I know she is interested in you. Fuck, I really wish things would go a different way. I wish we could be best friends forever, you and I, confiding in each other. I hope it doesn't sound too harsh but you and I are special, it's just, not in the way you hope it would be.

When you said about this volunteer work I might encourage you, but deep down I was scared. I know one day you'll finally snap and confront me about this weird dynamic between us. When you say about an opportunity to leave and get out of your shell I was scared that you'll leave me and come back as a different person. I was scared, because in this fucked up and chaotic world you were the one who made me feel safe. Someone that would understand my struggle and help me through it. However on the other hand I wanted you to break off your shell. This whole time you've been living for me, for the hope that I'll be yours. I wanted you to find your own path and find yourself, get away from me so that you'll find a way to let go of your feelings.

Now, writing this whole thing I realised, I can't keep being selfish. I hurt you enough, dragging you down to a toxic relationship unintentionally. So, if you're looking for a farewell, I'll give it. Go out there pup, save people's life, realise that you're much more than what you've given yourself credit for. I hope you'll break free of the collar I've put on you this whole time. You're an amazing person, and I hope you can live up to your potential. Maybe one day, once you come back you'll find a reason to forgive me. For the pain I cause you, for all those medical supplies you've spent for me, for ditching our last meeting with these notes. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you, but this time, I ask you to be happy. I ask you to let me go, and just, find someone who can love you as much as you love me.

Fuck I've been rambling for too long already. Pup, if you do feel like meeting me before you fly away just text me. If you don't, I'll understand. I won't let you go without saying goodbye to your face though. I remember your flight schedule, so if you don't want to meet me again I'll go there and just, wave you goodbye. Stay strong pup, I hope we can meet again.

Chaewon's tears that have stained the paper are almost gone, replaced by your own tears that almost render the paper unreadable. Is this the closure you wanted? Was there some sliver of hope you still hold on to thinking Chae might actually have some form of romantic feelings towards you? It's bittersweet, although the sweetness is nowhere to be found, you know one day you can see this note with fondness. Maybe this note will be the catalyst of your change. But for now, you just had to swallow this bitter pill and move on. Well, cry your heart out first, let the catharsis calm you down after. “Fuck Chae, I don't know if you'll still be here after I come back though”, Yeah that's a fair point. “Don't die, please don't die while I'm away”

The whole day, and the day after, you just felt this new energy flowing through you. There's still some pain and bitterness there but you understand, it's the first step towards the right direction. Your mom also seems to be pleased with the outcome of this. “Okay, maybe she's not as bad as I expect her to be darling. She's pitiful, that's the best way I can describe her”, Just like how you are attached to Chaewon, your mom also had some attachments toward her. After all, Chaewon was the person who has been keeping you safe from bullies and was one of the only genuine friends that is still in contact with you after all these years. “Mom, can I ask you a favour?” Your mom nodded confidently, she knew what you wanted to ask. “I know darling, I'll take care of Luna while you're away. And I'll make sure that your dear friend will still be in a recognisable state when you come back”, The lady part needs some better wording but that will do.

“Thanks mom, and if she contacts you, can you just give her these?” You hand her a little gift box, “Darling, this isn't a therapy appointment, she won't need this”, Hopefully you can find your mom's sassiness within you in this year long journey. “Just, give it to her okay mom? I'll be off”, She nods and kissed your forehead, “Don't die out there sweetie, I love you”, She smiled at you, a mother's encouraging smile is an over powered buff, “I love you too mom”

Let's move back to Chaewon, she knows it's your departure day and she read your text saying that you won't mind seeing her wave you goodbye at the airport. However, like usual she is being held back by someone. “Chae I need you to stop lying to me okay?” The calm tone her boyfriend is talking in is unnerving. It was like an ice pick that's being stabbed to Chaewon's fresh open wounds. “I'm not lying babe, he really is just a friend”, Chaewon cried, she doesn't want to cry because- “Liar”, He would scream at her, *CRACK* a loud smack echoes throughout the room as he slapped her with all his might. “I wasn't, babe please believe me. He's leaving for a year. I promise I just want to say goodbye to him”, Chaewon cried out as she lay on the ground while her body was screaming with pain. “I know you spent the night with him, Chae, don't lie to me. I let you off this whole time because I know that pussy won't be brave enough to make a move on you. But you, I know you fucking sluttyness knows no bounds. You were giving him a farewell gift, weren't you? You let him have sex with you after years and years of simping for you. Now you want to go there and make him rethink about leaving so you can keep him. I know a fucking bitch like you would keep a side man, a second option”

After a while he just left her in his house. Chae lays down on the floor, face messed up with tears and bruises, her body is exhausted from the mental and physical torture she's been subjected too in the last two days. She lay down there for god knows how long before she finally regained her consciousness. Looking at the time it's already an hour past your departure. Her tears are already dried up so she can't even let out her frustration anymore. “I'm sorry pup, I really do”, Not long she heard a knock on the door, “Hello, anyone in there?” It was a familiar voice but she can't remember who it is. Chaewon tried to stand up but her body could barely move. She wanted to say something but no words came out of her mouth. “Hello, I'm looking for Kim Chaewon, is she here?” Chae realises that whoever's behind that door is trouble, but her voice, Chae could swear she knows her from somewhere.

Chaewon tried to stand up but she failed and just fell down and caused some of the empty beer bottles on the table to fall alongside her and shatter on the floor. “Hello? Is everything alright?” It wasn't, some of the glass shard hit Chae which made her let out a barely audible painful whine. “I'm coming in”, Then a loud slam can be heard from the door before it opens. From the floor Chaewon is laying on she can finally see the person that's looking for her, it was your mom. “Jesus, what happened”, Your mom immediately ran up to Chae, her mind racing with concern, and hatred for Chae's boyfriend. “Ma'am, what are you doing here?” Chae flinched when she felt the older woman's hand examining her wounds. “I'll tell you later, did your boyfriend do this to you?” Chae flinched hearing that question, it's not the first time she heard her ask that. “Fine, don't answer if you don't want to. Let's get you to the hospital”, In one swoop she grabbed Chaewon and just carried her away. Usually she'll refuse this type of help, but now you're no longer there to help you, and she's too weak to refuse so she just let herself get taken away.

Your mom lay Chaewon in the backseat of her car before she took her radio and contacted the nearest hospital. “Dispatch, this is Unit 23 responding. Requesting immediate medical assistance. One injured victim, multiple bruises, possible head injury and a few lacerations due to glass shard on her arm”, Chaewon struggled to stay awake and ultimately went unconscious again before she even reached the hospital. “Hang in there kid, my son gonna kill me if he come home to find you dead”

A few hours earlier you were waiting at the airport, hoping for Chaewon to show up and wave you goodbye. However as the time for departure was nearing Chaewon was nowhere to be seen. You text her and she didn't read it and when you finally boarded you ended up calling your mom to check on Chaewon. As you were busy worrying for her, a girl suddenly sat down next to you, “Hello, are you also here for the volunteer work?” Oh shit, Chaewon who? “Oh yes, I'm from Serenity Medical Institute, nice to meet you”, Hey maybe moving on won't be that hard after all. “Nice to meet you too, I'm Minju from the Oasis Regional Hospital”, Minju gave you a weird look when you heard where you came from.

“Serenity Medical Institute huh, I didn't know they sent anyone for this”, Seating next to a beautiful girl like her made you feel nervous yet somehow she looks more nervous than you. “I am the only one who's going”, You smile a little embarrassed. “Really? That's surprising”, Minju smiled, “Well how many people went from your hospital?” She thinks for a second, “Probably 12?” Is your hospital just very stingy? “That's a lot, I didn't expect so many people would actually be interested in doing these kinds of stuff”, Would sending 12 medical personnel cause some problem in the hospital? Wouldn't it get crippled due to the lack of personnel? “Yeah well, it's not like we're short on people, also doing this will give our hospital some subsidies that would help a lot”, Minju looked at your confused face and got confused herself.

“You get subsidies? I don't think I read that part in the application form”, Do you even read the form though? “Well yeah the form is made asking for international aid. The subsidy is our government's way to encourage the nation’s medical personnel to help”, Did they just send you for the government money? “Although I don't think Serenity would care about that type of stuff”, She was sending some jabs to you but you didn't catch it. “Really? Why do you say that?” Minju furrowed her eyebrows trying to see if you're messing with her, “Well, because it's the rich people hospital”, Your genuine confusion took Minju off guard. “Really? I never knew”, Minju stares at you for a second, “How did you get a job there?” This is a good time to point out how clueless you are at everything.

“Well, after I finished college the owner, well I think he's the owner, came to me to offer me an internship. He said he knew my father and owe him once”, Pretty sure you never met that guy again, also your mom tore you a new hole after you accepted the offer thinking it must be a scam. “See, there's almost no way for people to get in without nepotism. The place has such a service fee that most of its clients are millionaires”, Minju saw you even more confused which frustrated her. “I thought the hospital was the best hospital in the country. I mean, wouldn't that be the reason for the high price?” She clicked her tongue hearing your response.

“Yes, but also because the benefactors and clients are some of the richest people in the country. Most of the people working there have been working there for generations already. It's almost impossible for someone to start working there fresh off college. Any new recruits needs to have at least 10 years of experience in any other prestigious hospital before they have a chance for an examination by them”, You are very clueless about most things. “Huh, I never knew about that”, Minju pinched herself to see if she's hallucinating, there is no way someone is this dumb right? “What's your parents job?” Could it be, you're just a savant in the medical field that attracts their eyes? “Well, my father was a firefighter, and my mom is a cop”, That doesn't sound like a rich person's job.

“Huh, then….. Did your father save someone's life and that person happened to be a very important person?” You shrugged, seemingly not caring about that, “Maybe, I mean he died when I was a kid and mom said he saved a lot of life so maybe he saved someone important and the guy gave me a job out of gratitude?” Minju was baffled with how little shit you're giving about this. “That's…… I'm sorry about your father but do you know how lucky you are? There's people who would die to have a job at your hospital”, This rubs you the wrong way. “Why? What's the difference between your hospital and mine? I mean you and I still both save lives regardless where we work so it wouldn't matter right?” Minju was taken off guard again, you sounded so genuine with your words that she felt embarrassed for forgetting the main job of a doctor.

“You're right, sorry I didn't mean to come out as a materialistic person”, You felt guilty seeing how embarrassed she is, “Oh no don't be, I'm sorry I didn't know most of those things so thank you for telling me this”, Minju smiled at you. “You're just an innocent puppy aren't you?” Eeeehhhh, are you an actual dog? How come two beautiful and completely different girls can see you the same way like that? “I guess”, She laughed seeing you reluctantly accept her nickname. “So, since we'll be working a lot closer from now on I think this would be a perfect time to get to know each other right?” This whole thing feels nostalgic, it's a deja vu for the first time you met Chaewon.

No, I can't keep living in the past. Come on, I'm on this trip to break free of my shell. Be more confident, talk to her. Fuck what if I fall for her and it end up the same way as I did with Chae? Fuck I'm not gonna find anyone if I keep being scared.

“Of course, why don't you start first?” Minju did start first, and she also took the majority of the speaking time because you're too shy to speak up. In the middle of it you got a text from your mom informing you of Chaewon's condition. “You're okay?” Minju said after seeing you turn catatonic for a while, “Oh, yeah just, something came up”, Your voice sounds shaky and you turn around to watch out the window. Minju stays silent after realising that you're not in a talking mood, although she is curious about the situation. Moreover she's curious about you, she finds you to be pretty cute and attractive, and your innocence has some charm to it.

After a while your mom texted back informing you that Chae is stable for now and sent you her medical report. You read through it extensively, the more you read it the more you regret going on this trip. Without you there Chae would probably run back to her boyfriend after being discharged from the hospital. Well, even if you're there you won't be able to stop her from going back to him. It's like you are Sisyphus and she is your boulder, no matter how hard you try, she will always stumble down the hill into her boyfriend's arms. “Hey, you're okay there?” Minju decided to speak up seeing how distraught you've become, “Ahhh no, something came up”, Having someone to talk to would be nice, but would she care to hear a story of a complete stranger? “I don't mind listening you know, if you don't mind sharing of course”, Minju smiles at you, “Well, I have this friend, her name is Chae…….”

“Uggghhh”, A pained groan escapes out of Chaewon's mouth before she even gets to open her eyes. As she tried to sit up a hand stopped her from moving, “Take it easy now kiddo, you're still hurt”, This time she immediately recognised your mother's voice. “Ma'am, I….. where am I?” Chaewon tried to open her eyes but the room was too bright for her so she immediately closed it again. “In the hospital, you were pretty rough when I saw you”, The first thing that came up in her mind was to run, anything involving hospitals is bothersome, from the bills to the questioning she'll get. Thankfully she's well aware that your mom wouldn't let her run so easily, so she just lay back on the bed trying to regain her stamina.

After half an hour or so she is able to open her eyes and sit on the bed, looking around the place she realises where she is right now. “No, my son already left”, A quick reality check from your mom completely buried her hopes of having you delay your departure. “Why……. Why did you come to my place?” It's hard for her to look at your mom in the eyes. Unlike you, your mom has this dominating aura around her that shows she takes no shit from anyone. “My son asked me to check in on you when you didn't show up to his flight”

Oh right, I ghost him again. Fuck how can I keep messing this up?

“Listen kiddo, I never liked you. For years I've already told my clueless son that you're leading him on and he never listens. I would've confronted you but I digress because he always told me not to”, It's really jarring feeling the difference between you and your mom. Her words and piercing gaze made Chaewon shivers in her place. “And worst of all you actually push him to take a dangerous job off country just because you two can't be a grown up and talk about your feelings”, Just for the record, your mom was trying to not be overly hostile, she just came off that way. “I'm sorry”, Chae said weakly, “However, after he came to me with your notes I got a glimpse of your side of the story and, somewhat open to listen to the whole thing. Today, after I see you laying down half dead on that abuser's floor I think I understand enough”

“He's not an abuser”, Chae immediately bites back, as those words left her mouth she immediately flinched and felt scared for going against your mom. “Kiddo, I've been in this line of work for the last 25 years already. I've seen your story play out a thousand times. I promised my son that I'll keep you safe, so I'm taking you away from that whether you like it or not”, That's illegal right? “But he's not, he was just having an episode. Sometimes he just lash out, he can't help it, that's just who he is”, Chae is way too far down in her own hell to realise the exit is right in front of her. “Really? You're blaming this on his mental state?” Your mom wasn't taking any of that, “He's bipolar okay? He can't help having drastic mood swings”, He was never diagnosed, Chae just read some online article and associated him with that disorder to rationalise his sociopathic behaviour. “Blaming that maniac’s behaviour on mental disorders is an insult to the people who actually have mental disorders. Kiddo, I don't think you understand how irredeemable he is. What he did to you today is unacceptable, and if you don't want to fight for your own sake then I'll fight for you by bringing him to court”

Panic starts to set in, Chaewon can't let her do that, “He's not like that, I promise, please just give him a chance”, Seeing how pathetic Chaewon is, your mom wonders how you can enable her behaviour for so long. “Let’s have this talk in the morning. It's late and I need to get some rest. Go get some sleep, I'll be back here tomorrow morning. If I didn't see you here tomorrow morning I'm coming back to your apartment with a warrant for your boyfriend”, It's not your mom's first rodeo, she knows girls like Chae would care about her boyfriend’s feelings over her own well being. “Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow ma'am”, Not even a thank you, so rude.

Fuck why did things got so complicated now. You were always so caring but this is too much pup. Your mom is gonna be the end of me. Fuck how do I convince her to drop this, I can't let her make babe mad. I need to convince her.

How would Chaewon convince her? Well, with a stupid idea, “Are you being serious right now? You want me to talk with your boyfriend?” Downright idiotic honestly. “Please, it's just one talk. You'll see that he's not as bad as you think he is”, Your mom is absolutely flabbergasted with this request, this little girl actually wanted her to have a nice and civil discussion with an abuser? “I don't think you understand, assault and battery isn't just a civil case. The law enforcement such as myself have the right to pursue this case, you know that right?” This also means if she talks to Chaewon's boyfriend and he loses his composure your mom can use his incriminating words against him.

“Trust me just this once okay? Please?” No way in hell your mom is gonna trust Chaewon, she sees Chae as an even more clueless person than you. She wants to say pathetic but she's not heartless enough to consider her own son pathetic. “I’ll drive you back to your place, I'll ask him about what transpired yesterday and that will be it. That's all the chances he's getting”, Although honestly she does see this as an opportunity to gather more evidence. “What? I need to tell him about this first”, Chae didn't have her phone, he broke it yesterday so she can't contact him, “Tchhh, so you can warn him? No, I'll give him this one chance so I can see him being unfiltered. So get your ass up because we're leaving now”, Despair, that's what Chae feels right now.

Your mom led her to the receptionist where she signed the paper for discharge. Since you were working there she used her family member card so that Chaewon's hospital bills would be reduced to zero, and that's a good price. Throughout the ride Char can't stop herself from biting her nails, her legs are all jittery and her heartbeat is beating irregularly, she's scared out of her mind. Once they arrived back at her place she was so nervous your mom had to wake her up from her thoughts. “Ahhhhh, oh sorry, you scare me”, Chae tries to calm her breathing down while your mom is staring at her, then the latter gets out of her car prompting Chae to follow her.

Chaewon knocked on the door, after all your mom didn't exactly search around to pick up her personal things such as wallets or keys. “You do know I broke the door yesterday right? The locks haven't been fixed”, Chae blushed hearing this and just opened her door, going inside she called up for her boyfriend but there was no response. “He must be out”, There was some relief in her voice, hopefully your mom would just leave the place so she can brief her boyfriend about what's gonna happen. “That's unfortunate then-”, However Chaewon's dreams were short lived as the older woman's words were interrupted by some ruffling sounds from the bedroom followed by some footsteps.

“Who the fuck are you?” Really? That's the first thing your mom said in her mind. She's completely baffled that Chaewon would ruin her own life for someone like that. No body shaming of course, the guy was good looking, but he looks like the most generic fuckboy ever imaginable. “I'm here to talk to you, I am Officer Hwang, last night I find…….”, She trailed off letting silence fills the room. The reason for that is because a girl walks out of the bedroom he just came out from. Seeing how minimal their clothing is, it's quite easy to grasp what they were doing. “Who is this?” Chaewon's fear and anxiety is replaced with unbridled rage as if he just crosses the line. “None of your business, and why the fuck did you bring a cop here huh? Hwang? Is it that retard’s mom?” He's so eloquent, no wonder Chaewon fell for him.

“Lady her your clothes and get out”, The random girls immediately sprint back to the bedroom, “Who the fuck is she?” Chaewon screamed at her boyfriend. “Fuck you, who is this? You brought a cop here? Are you insane?” Seeing him refuse to answer, Chaewon raises her hand and slaps him. It is unprofessional to laugh at someone who's getting ‘assaulted’ but your mom can't help but crack open a smile. “Are you crazy, bitch?” The slap has taken him off guard, never in his life did he think that Chaewon would have the balls to do something like that. The random girl came out of the bedroom wearing her pants with some of her underwear being stuffed into her bag. “You were cheating on me?” Chaewon roared, she looked at the random girl and was ready to pounce on her but thankfully your mom swooped in and pulled the girl outside.

“Move, I need to talk to that bitch”, Chaewon tried to push your mom away but the latter hold firm, “I think you should deal with this one first”, She pointed at her boyfriend. “Shit fucker, look at me”, He roughly pull Chaewon's hand making her body ragdoll to the ground. “You think you're hot shit because you have a cop here?” This guy has issues, “You were fucking some random girl? AFTER YOU SNAPPED BECAUSE YOU THINK I WAS CHEATING ON YOU?” Huh, maybe Chaewon's final line is just cheating. It's impressive that he never crosses that line for the last few years. Seeing how Chaewon wasn't being a scaredy cat like usual hurts his pride, so he raises his hand to hurt her in return.

“You should stop that”, Your badass mom just grab his hand before he can slap Chae, “You fucking disgusting pig, HOW DARE YOU CHEATED ON ME”, But she didn't stop Chaewon from slapping him. “You fucking whores”, His pride really can't take this anymore and he took one of the empty bottle on the table. “I warned you”, With a bored tone your mom pulled out her taser gun and just shot fade him. Immediately he fell to the ground, the bottle thankfully didn't break and cut his skin, despite how much your mom wanted that to happen. “You asshole”, Chaewon walks to him and just kicks him in the ribs, “Alright don't do that, you're gonna get in trouble”, But her words don't reach her like usual. Chaewon tried to kick him again prompting your mom to just drag her out of the house.

“Let me go, I need to kill that bastard”, She was taken off guard seeing how Chaewon just flipped a switch out of nowhere, “Well it's better than before I guess”, She muttered before pushing Chae to her car. “Stay here for a second, I need to clean this mess”, Well at least her menacing glare is enough to stop Chae from struggling. “Here, go busy yourself while I call up the medic”, She shoved a little gift box you prepared for Chae to her lap. Chaewon immediately recognised your writing and opened it, inside is a note and she immediately read it.

Hey Chae, I was writing this note because I feel like that's just gonna be our thing from now. Let me start by saying, it hurts. Reading your notes was painful and really fuck me up. However, I do understand where you're coming from. I can't force you to like me, although I really want to, I realise it's just not possible. I guess we were both an idiot, so caught up in our feelings that we ended up hurting ourselves. I just want to say, I don't hate you, I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I hope one day when I come back home we get to sit down together and talk about this further. I hope once I get back we can have a civil and mature conversation about our friendship and other things.

However, for that to happen, I need you to still be around when I come home. Yes I helped you throughout these years because I loved you. But it would be wrong if I say that was the only reason why I helped you. I was scared for you, this relationship you had with your boyfriend isn't healthy Chae. When we first met you were this badass girl who never backed down from anything. Now you're just this vulnerable girl who is being dragged through hell because you can't let go of your feelings. You know I'm right, all your friends have given up on you already because they can't bear to watch you destroy yourself. You say something about setting me up with Kazuha yet the last time you talked to her was already 2 years ago. Chae, I'm scared, I'm really scared with the idea that you won't be alive by the time I come home. I wrote this note because I want you to let him go.

No, I wasn't saying this because I feel jealous of him, I'm saying this because I care about you. I'm on this “journey” in hope that I can let go of my feelings, in hope to “break my chains” as you put it. Now I'm asking you to break yours as well. I know you're tired of hearing these words but you're sacrificing so much just by staying with that guy. I might sound biassed, but you can get any guy in the world and you're choosing the worst option. I never thought I'd say this, but it's also hurting my pride knowing you prefer staying with an abuser rather than, me. Fuck that sounds so bad, but if you were dating some rich handsome guys I'll have my heartbreak way earlier than this and probably move on. Chaewon, you're a beautiful, talented and strong girl, you can do better than him. It hurts seeing your mental toughness that I always envied are being used just so you can tolerate him. Please, now that I'm gone I can't keep you safe any longer. For the love of god please let him go Chae. I don't want to come back home seeing you six feet underground.

I might just be beating a dead horse but I hope you can see where I'm coming from. In this box there's my apartment keys. I already pay rent for the next 4 months so you can stay there if you need to. And finally, there's a hospital card here, you can use it in Serenity and get treatment free of charge. I hope you'll never need to use it, but I also hope for a lot of impossible things. Anyway I've been rambling for too long, I hope mom didn't go too hard on you. Stay safe Chae, stay alive. I hope we can meet again once I'm back home. I'll miss you.

It took her almost 30 minutes rereading that note you left her. It all boils down to, “Chaewon your boyfriend is trash, leave him already. Here take my keys”, But she keeps rereading them hoping there's more. She needs more, she needs you to write something, anything that could comfort her. “Fuck pup, why can't I just listen to you”, But alas there's none, after all you never expect this messages to actually change her mind. It technically didn't, her boyfriend's act of crossing her line did but this note is the nail in the coffin. A certain word rings in her mind, “If only he can be more like you”, So fucking cliché, yet sometimes clichés came from real life things.

Why the fuck did I say that? You're so fucking stupid sometimes Chae. Why ask for someone to be like him when he's already available. God what have I done.

No point of crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't stop her from ruining your notes with her tears. Is this your thing now? Sending notes and soaking them with tears. “He’s not a problem anymore, just in case you're wondering”, Chaewon jumped back at her seat when she saw your mom had rejoined her back in the car. “Right”, Chae wiped her tears and put the notes back in the box, “You want to go somewhere or do you want to go back to your house?” Chae glanced back to her house. It was inherited to her after her parent's death a few years ago, it was around the time she started dating that pig. Those beautiful childhood memories, all tainted by his presence.

“No, can you take me back to your son's apartment?” It's not that your mom wants to snoop around, but she's just curious and has checked the gift before she hands it to Chaewon. “Got it”, Your mom thinks it would be a good idea for Chae to stay away from her house for now, 4 months is a pretty long time to cool down. However Chaewon had different plans, “I'll wait for you to come back pup. I can fix this, I can fix us. I'll wait for you to come back, then we can start over”, Her barely audible whispers float off to the wind. A promise for a better future, no matter what it takes.

“Babe you need to stop dozing off”, You were woken up from your daydream with a gentle touch to your shoulder. “Right, I just feel weird. I can't believe a year passed already”, Yeah, it felt like a year just passed in an instant. “Come on, don't tell me you're thinking about staying here?” Minju wrapped her arm around you, “Of course not, I'm just a little sad that I'll have to go already”, Minju smiled and gave you a kiss. “There, I don't want my little puppy to be sad anymore”, She said teasing you, “Don't call me that, please never call me that in front of other people again”, It's bad enough that she calls you that in front of her coworkers, if she pull that name in front of your friends, or even your mom, you'll die out of embarrassment.

“Heheheheh, I won't promise anything. Now come on I need your big muscular arm to help me out the bags on the truck”, Living with no reception has bore you a lot, which is why you start working out alongside the soldiers that keeps the area secure. So needless to say, you've grown into a Chad, after loading the luggage you sat down with the rest of Minju’s coworkers. “So, what are we eating once we get home?”, Jaehyun, one of Minju's coworkers, asked the group. “I want some junk food, like 10 big macs covered with cheese dips type of junk food”, “No way in hell, we're eating something fresh, I want sushi”, “I don't care what we're eating but we need alcohol. Like a lot of them”, You've been pulled to be part of their friend group, although most of the time you and Minju would just fool around somewhere else. “Let's vote then, what does everyone want?” Voting with friends is such a bad idea, “I'm down for anything”, “Yeah me too, I don't mind”, “I don't really crave anything so I'll just follow what everyone wants”, In the end Minju just pull you to the passenger truck and sit with you at the back while her friends are busy discussing.

“So, we're going to meet your mom once we land?” It's hard to communicate with the people back home, you can only send her a letter every few weeks or so. Well except last week when you were given a satellite phone to arrange yours . “Well she did say she's gonna pick me up, so maybe we can have dinner with her after”, You haven't really told your mom about Minju so you're kinda nervous, “I don't think I'm down for thay babe. It's a 10 hour flight and I would rather go home and have a good long bath. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night”, Thankfully she rejected the dinner. “Guess you're right, I'm sure mom also wants to ask me about what I did for the last year”, It would be awkward to tell your mom that you actually got shot here. “Yeah, don't die okay baby”

“I told you you're gonna get shot”, You're like an inch away from getting shot by her out of frustration. “But mommmm, it was just an accident, some stray bullet from the soldier's training”, They even send you money for the inconvenience, or to shut you up. “Haaaaaa, I'm really this close to losing it. You didn't think about telling me in one of those letter you send me?” This is certainly a welcoming party, “ I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you worry”, She sighed and just shook her head. “Mom, where's Luna?” You tried to change the topic, “With Chaewon, that fat fuck want to stay at your apartment over here”, You raised your eyebrow in confusion, “Chae still living at my place?”

Your mom does send you some update about her in the first few months, most of it just saying how Chae is getting better and has been reconnecting with her friends. “You should go there and talk to her”, Right, the long awaited reunion is due, “I should, tomorrow we're having dinner with Minju so I guess I could come over now”, Time zone difference fuck you up because you left around sunset and arrive back at your home around 8 AM, which isn't fun. “I can drop you off at your place if you get ready right now”, As you took a shower you can't help but feel nervous. For the last year you didn't really try to reach out to Chae and your mom didn't say anything if Chae tried to reach out to you. Going back to the living room you immediately noticed how tight your outfits has become. “That usually happens when you build up muscle darling. You should go and get some new clothes”, You remember Minju said she is a shopaholic so you made a plan to do a shopping run later with Chae. Just as a friendly reunion right? Right?

“Congratulations on your promotion by the way mom”, You pull out a gift for her, “Ohhh? What's this? The bullet that they took out of your body?” Damn that would actually be a pretty good gift for her. “Uhhh no, it's just a knife one of the refugees gave me”, Without hesitation she ripped open the box and pulled out a pristine military knife. “Ohhhh, good job darling, I'll put this on my desk”, She smiles happily before strapping the knife into her waist. “Now come on, I'm gonna be late”

You stand in front of your door, feeling anxious and nervous. If any of your neighbours see this they're probably gonna be weirded out since you’re just standing there for 5 minutes. Suddenly the front door clicked open and you saw Chaewon. She was going out and she bumped into you, “Sorr-.......” The two of you just stare at each other silently. The first thing you noticed is how healthy she looks, her cheeks are no longer hollow, her skin isn't sagging, she looks better. “Hey Ch-” Chae jumped to hug you before you finished your sentence, “It's you, you're home”, Even her strength is back, enough to suffocate you. “Chae, calm down for a second”, But she doesn't want to calm down, “You're back, you're really back, I miss you so much”, Chae hugged you even harder without any intentions of letting go.

“Chae let's not do this in the hallway”, She suddenly felt your arm wrapped around her body and picked her up with ease. It was at this moment that she noticed you don't feel so scrawny anymore. “You've grown”, She let go of the hug as you closed the door behind you, her eyes travelling all over your body. “Yeah well, I got a lot of free time there”, Your cheeks turn red as Chaewon shamelessly feels up your arms. “Meow”, Luna walked out of the bedroom and the moment she saw you she immediately ran to your leg. “Hey there Luna, did you miss me”, You picked her up and she immediately purred in your familiar embrace again.

“Well come here take a seat. Don't be a stranger in your own apartment”, Chae smiles and pulls you to sit down on the couch. Looking around you notices she has done a few furnishings, the place still looks familiar, yet there's some of her touch painting the whole apartment. “You like it? I don't want to change too much but I feel like your previous decorations were kinda bland”, Is her snarky remark making a return as well? “Well the place does look less grey”, Chaewon sits closer to you, “So, how was your trip? Come on tell me everything”, She leaned towards your arm and rested her head on your shoulder.

“It's a long story, weren't you just leaving to go somewhere?” Bering with Minju for a while you've grown immune to women's advances due to how flirty she was. “I was just about to get some breakfast. Have you eaten anything yet? We can order some food”, Chae notices your lack of embarrassment and it makes her, happy. “Well I ate some airplane food earlier, so I wouldn't mind going out for some actual good food”, Luna let out a growl as if she understands that you're leaving already. “Come on let's just eat here, I want to hear everything that happened to you”, Chae pinched your cheek as she leaned even closer to you.

“Come on let's go out Chae, I also need some help. I actually gained some weight and my old clothes are getting too tight for me. Can you help me do some clothing runs?”, A date, Chae is ecstatic that you wanted to have a date with her the moment you return. “Yesssss, let's go then”, She stood up and pulled your hand, “Hahahaha, sorry Luna you're gonna have to wait for me again”, Luna let out a protest meow before jumping off your lap. “She's gonna be fine, let's go pup, it's shopping time”, Surely Chaewon won't take the whole day to help you get some new clothes.

“So you were actually shot? Like with a real bullet?” Chae is filled with concern hearing your story, “Yeah, it was just a ricochet so it's not that deep but it still hurts”, Don't cut off the fun part, tell her you cried like a baby as they tried to stop your bleeding. “That's terrible, I swear to god I'll kill that idiot who dares to shoot you”, It pisses her off, she could've lost you because some stupid drill. “It's fine, I was too close to the training yard anyway”, You can't help but smile seeing her angry face. It reminds you of the time when she used to get angry every time someone tried to pick on you. “Tchh, I'm only letting it go because you're safe and you got a cool scar from it”, Chaewon continued looking at your arm, rather, your bicep.

“Yeah, it does look cool”, You trailed off as you checked your messages that Minju had sent you. Chae furrowed her eyebrows seeing you've been busy chatting with someone on your phone throughout this breakfast. She wants to know who's making you smile and what those texts are, but she refrains for now. “Well I hope your feets are ready, we're giving you a makeover”, She'll ask you about those texts later, after all she has all the time in the world with you.

The shopping was hellish, Chaewon keeps pulling you to every clothing store there is and has you tried every single piece of clothing she can find. Then to top it off you had to bring all the luggage yourself. Well you don't have to, but you don't want to make her carry it so you just swallow the pain and move on. “Chae can we stop here? I think this is enough'', Chae does notice your suffering but she can't help herself to dress up her boyfriend. “Alright, let's put it back at our place, we can order some food for lunch”, Our place? You're gonna say something about that? “Our-”, Unfortunately your phone rings before you can ask it.

“I need to answer this call first, can you order a cab for us?” Now, Chae is not exactly a nosy person, but she feels irritated with how much you were on your phone during this date. “Fine”, She doesn't want to make a scene so she'll just frown as she watches you walk a way to answer your call. “Hey babe , I was thinking that maybe we can grab some lunch? Or are you still dealing with jet lag?” Minju said, “I'm outside right now, having a reunion with Chaewon”, A little slither of guilt can be heard in your voice as you felt bad for refusing your girlfriend’s invitation. “Oh well, did everything go well?” She doesn't mind though, “Yeah, I think we're having a good day so far. I'm kinda happy seeing her revert to her old self. Although I think I would rather have her tone down her occasional jab. Physical jab, she's one of those people who like to playfully punch you and it hurts”, You hear Minju laughed out loud at your complaints. “Oh no, my poor baby can't take a woman's punch? Even with all those muscles?” PSA: Domestic violence is not a joke, please seek professional help if you or someone you know are dealing with one.

“Hey listen she's not your average girl okay? She used to be the badass tomboy who beat up guys bigger than him. Besides you should see her biceps, they're huge”, Chaewon can't hear you but she is certainly not happy with the smiles that's forming on your face. “I would love to, is this an invitation for me to join your reunion?” Ahhhh shit, what did you just do? “Well”, You look back at Chae and are surprised seeing her hostile glare, “Maybe not today”, You're not sure why she's mad but you think it's best not to ask it for now. “Well, hopefully I can meet her soon. I'll see you tomorrow okay babe? Pick me up for the date please, you can buy some used car with the money they gave you for the bullet wounds”, You can't concentrate on what she's saying and hurriedly end the call before walking to Chaewon.

“The cab will be here soon”, Oh no, she's using her cold angry voice again, “O-okay”, The two of you awkwardly stand there waiting for the cab. Throughout the whole ride Chaewon was looking out the window trying to calm herself down. However the moment she hears you typing on your phone she immediately turns to you and lets out a vicious glare. Feeling your life might be in danger you put down your phone. Anxiousness starts to rise within you, it's not the first time you see her this mad but it's still terrifying.

What the fuck did I do now? Chae only got this mad when I did something stupid and hurt myself. Think Mark, think. Whatever it is, I should try to apologise once we get home.

The two of you silently walk back to your apartment, as soon as you walk in you hear Chaewon slam the door behind you. “Put it there”, She pointed at the floor, you obediently put down the groceries trying to find words to calm her down and inquire on what you did wrong. “Who was it?” Her voice, cold and piercing just like her eyes, “Who was what?” That's not an answer, so she walks towards you and pushes you to the wall. “Who were you talking to on the phone? The whole day you were busy talking with someone. Throughout our fucking date you were just chatting with someone else. Do you not respect me at all? Your girlfriend is in front of you yet you were busy with whoever it was in your phone”, Alright, what the fuck?

Let's break this down, first she doesn't like you talking to someone, which is understandable since it was pretty rude to be busy with your phone while you're hanging out with someone else. Then she says date, you didn't think it was a date, friendly date possibly but isn't that just a hangout? Lastly, girlfriend, this one actually takes you out of it. Hearing her referring to herself as your girlfriend is not something you ever thought you'll hear. This time, after a year of spiritual journey, you actually don't want to hear her say that.

“Chae?” Seeing that you're not answering she just digs her nails into your arm. “ANSWER ME. Who was it? And don't fucking lie to me”, Her voice echoes throughout the whole room, yet it feels so distant, as if this whole thing is just a dream to you. “That's…. I…. I was talking to my girlfriend”, Chae was about to scream back saying you weren't talking to her enough, then she realised you weren't referring to her. “Your. Girlfriend?” Her face contorted as she spat those words, “I guess I haven't mentioned her yet. Her name is-”, Your words are interrupted by her slap.

"Girlfriend?" she spat, her voice laced with disbelief that morphed into a chilling possessiveness. "Don't lie to me, babe. You're mine. You've always been.”, Words are stuck on your throat, after years of following her shadow with the hope of getting a whiff of her warmth you managed to get it at the worst possible time. The name ‘babe’ rings like a distant lullaby, those words that you crave from her felt like venom to you now. “Chae when I was there I got close with Minju. We-”, Her hand flies quickly to grab your mouth, silencing your words that's about to break her delusion. “No, that's not right at all babe. I see now, you're confused and tired. Serving there must've been very tiring for you babe. You were just homesick and miss me, yeah let's get you some rest babe”

Chae leaned and kissed your cheek, yet her eyes are challenging you to refute her words. “No, Chae I have-”, The second slap was much more painful than the first one, because this time she put her back on it. “Baby I really think you're just tired, come on let's get you to your bed. You must've missed sleeping on your bed right? I'll accompany you, we can eat lunch later”, Chae grabbed both of your hands, tugging them for you to follow her to the bedroom. “No Chae, she's real. Minju is very lovely you'll like her”, This whole situation was so odd for you that you're also in denial of Chaewon's transformation.

Chaewon's eyes narrow, trying to pierce through your skull to inspect your mind, then a humourless laugh escapes her mouth. “I see now, you had a rebound girl while you were away. I don't think I appreciate that babe, but for now let's get you to rest. I can punish you after you get some sleep”, The room was silent as if it was waiting in horror to see your next move. “No Chae……. I love her. I love Minju”, Your muscles stiffen, trying to brace for her next slap. Yet it never came, there was only silence. “Love her?”

Alright, stop denying, you know what's happening right now. “Chae I-”, You were once again interrupted by her, this time with her lips that aggressively crashed into yours and sealed it shut. This is it, the dream you've always wanted to achieve, a kiss from the girls that has held your heart for years now. Yet the kiss brought a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On one hand, it ignited a dormant flame within you, a spark of the yearning you'd harboured for Chae for years. The warmth of her lips, the familiar scent of her hair, it all felt like a dream come true, a gift from god for all the good things you've done. On the other hand the sweetness was quickly tainted by the bitter reality. Your heart, now entwined with Minju's, ached with guilt and betrayal. This wasn't supposed to happen. Chae had friend-zoned you, leaving you to move on and build a new life. This sudden shift, this desperate claim of ownership, it sent your mind reeling.

Is this the Chae you know? The one who has explicitly told you that the two of you can never work? Or was that Chae a fake one? You've never heard those words outside the notes she left you. Perhaps those notes are just her denial of the feelings she actually had for you. Denial that was hidden by the guilt she had for using you all this time? Is this confusion you're having is just a pathetic rationalisation for your own feelings for her? Was Minju truly just a rebound girl? Did you leave your heart here with Chae this whole time and only notice it now that you're back with her?

So many questions yet no answer. You didn't try to think of an answer, after all there's a fight going on within you right now. Your body has been yearning for these moments and responded instinctively. Your heart screaming with protest as it was being torn apart by the guilt you harbour for Minju. Each agonising second felt like an eternity. You wanted to pull away, to break free from this confusing entanglement. Yet with each second passing Chae's grip tightened, her kiss becoming desperate, almost pleading. It was like witnessing a damsel in distress, someone drowning in a sea of their own obsession, and a part of you, the part that once loved her fiercely, wanted to save her.

“Haaaaa”, Finally she broke the kiss, her head pressing against yours, her hand still tightly gripping on to your collar. Her eyes are filled with ecstasy, she's in a trance, for a moment you wonder if this is what you would look like if she kissed you before you left. “You're mine babe, you're mine and mine alone”, A hushed whisper can be heard flowing out of her mouth. The kiss, it was a culmination of all the obsession and longing she has for the last year. Your absence in her life was a hellfire for her loneliness, forging her into this, thing. Day by day her longing got more and more intense until it slowly turned into a need. Now that you're here those feelings only become more intense, like a sword that has finished sharpening and ready to be used.

While she was lost in the vortex of her own emotions you finally connected the dots. Despite her rejection she has explicitly said that she has special feelings for you. A love that was strong in every way but romantically. However it would change once she finally broke free of her chain, of the collar her boyfriend has put on her. Lost, confused, exiled, her only source of hope was you. After all her friend left her the only person she can rely on was you. Yet you were already gone, left to find your own love. Of course, that's why she is still here, living in your apartment with the thought that you two can reconcile after you return. Funny how life works, Chaewon finally has the same feeling you've been ‘hiding’ from her for years just right after you lost those feelings.

“You know you love me babe. Whoever that Minju girl is, she's irrelevant. We belong together, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you. Just be patient okay babe, after all we have our whole life to be together. Nothing can separate us anymore, I love you”

“I-”, NO!

Your mind managed to take control of your body before you answered her. “I...” Chaewon smiles thinking you were just too shy to say it back. “Chae, it's too late”, Desperately you tried to bury back those feelings, you can't hurt Minju, and for some reason there's this voice warning you that whatever Chae is feeling right now, it's dangerous. “Baby, you know how much you hurt me by saying that”, Her face formed a disappointed frown as her tone turned sour, her eyes turned glassy as if she was about to burst into tears. “I can't Chae, I'm sorry”, It hurts seeing her like this as well, you never thought you'd make her cry by rejecting her.

“You don't mean that pup, I can see it in your eyes. You didn't move on and I know it. You have loved me for years already, how can you just let go of all those feelings in just one year”, Her vulnerable tone and pained expression was nothing but a calculated move. Loyalty and charity, those are your two strong suits, and she knows acting hurt and vulnerable would be an easy way to change your mind. “I….. I can't Chae”, She also knows, despite your physical growth, mentally you wouldn't even hurt a fly.

“Why are you lying to me pup? I can feel your body is calling for me”, Her hand slips inside your sweater. As her cold and slender fingers feel up your abs you can't help but feel like the inside of your stomach is twisting. This is all you ever wanted yet it terrifies you. “You've grown pup, I like it”, With inhuman strength she just ripped apart your flimsy sweater. “Chaewon no”, You try to stop her, your mind does, but your body is much more honest. “Did she do this to you?” Chae pressed her finger towards the hickey you had on your collarbone, “Chae stop this”, You pleaded again, but your words aren't coming through to her. “I'll hide it babe, I'll hide it with my make so you'll forget that whore”, Chae leaned in and bite on your collarbone.

The pain, you're not even sure if it was physical or emotional. Out of all the way that you could have her you never expected that it would be done through, rape. Is this rape? Do you truly hate this? “Who was that?” Your phone buzzed making Chaewon stop her marking session. “I-”, She didn't bother waiting for your answer before rushing through your pocket and finding your phone. The name Minju was written on the screen showing she just texted you something. “Forget about her”, Chae throws away your phone before diving back to your shoulder.

I don't want this. I don't want this at all.

You pushed her away but it was so weak she barely moved. “Stop doing that”, She mumbles as she continues biting you. “Chae stop this please”, You push her again but this time you managed to put some power into it. She doesn't budge, her teeth still hooked into your flesh refusing to let you go. “Chaewon stop”, Finally raise your voice, she stops biting you yet her body is still pressing you to the wall. “Baby, I need you to stop playing so hard to get okay? I know you want this”, Come on tell her no, tell her she's wrong. “See, you need to stop lying to me”, Her hand caressed your bulge, “I know you more than you know yourself”, She whispered in your ear.

Do I actually want this? Was I overreacting when I call this rape? Chaewon would never do that. She's a kind and loving person. She would never do anything to hurt me. Right?

She fucking gaslight you so easily? “My god, you're so big baby”, You glanced down and realised Chaewon was already kneeling in front of you, your pants already pulled down exposing your cock. “Chae”, She smiles, your tone is much more meek now, she knows she got you by the, well, balls. “It's okay babe, I'll be gentle”, Her slender fingers gently wrapped around your cock as her lips kissed your tip. Your body shivers with the sensation, her gentle touch was enough to make you leak some precum. Chaewon smiles proudly, “I'm flattered babe, you've been missing me too right?” Her tongue sticks out and licks your tip.

The more she licks the more you leak out. Her hand starts stroking you as she licks your cock like a lollipop, savouring the taste of your precum. Not long after that she kissed your tip again before pushing it into her mouth. “Ohhh fuck”, You moan, her mouth was too small for it and despite her best effort she can only go halfway. Feeling defeated she pulls away before spitting onto your shaft, her hand continues stroking and coats your cock with her saliva. If she can't take all of your length she will be creative. So as her head bobs up and down her hand jerks you off with the lubricant she just applied. Wet sloppy noise echoes throughout the room, accompanied by the sounds of your grunt and moans.

“Chae, fuck”, Feeling your cock starts to throb she got even more intense. Her hand and head go in sync as she tries to milk you. “Chae, I'm cumming”, Your hips buckled forward forcing Chae to choke on your cock as you unload down her throat. The sensation of your thick and warm cum travelling down her throat gives Chae a sense of victory. Her eyes never leave yours for a second and she watches every single emotion you went through this whole time. She knows, you can't run from her.

“You taste so good babe”, She moaned once she pulled out your cock. Then she just let it rest on top of her small and pale white face, a view so arousing yo8r body starts screaming for round two. “Chae, I-”, It only took five seconds and your guilt already came back, this displeases her. “Come here baby, let's continue this in our bed”, She stood up and grabbed your hand. Now that your mind is clear, the post nut clarity should help you make your decision. Should you run now? Or should you just let yourself fall deeper into this, abyss.

“Come on babe”, Realising you're second guessing yourself, Chaewon grabbed your hand using both of her own while using her cute and innocent face. She hates to do this, she really does, because right now she's using a strategy that her ex used on her. “I……” Yet seeing you falter made her happy, there's always a silver lining in everything. Right now, she won't mind personifying her ex’s attitude if it means she gets to make you stay with her. “Hehehehehe, come on let's do a quick one babe, we can have lunch after this”, With one pull she managed to crumble down your common sense. So you follow her, right into the dragon's nest. Inside your room you can see it's pretty much the same. The only difference was her makeup and dirty clothes that filled up the room. “I don't want to change too much, after all I want you to go back home to a familiar sight”, She smiles before pushing you to the bed. Chaewon takes off her skirt before jumping on to you. She pushes your erect cock into her stomach, “Look babe, you're gonna split me in half with this monster”

Seeing how quiet you are, Chae just takes off her top before leaning towards you. “Don't be shy babe, I know you've been dreaming for this moment for years now”, Her hand pulls yours into her breast, “Feel it babe”, She whispered in your ear. Overtaken by lust, your hand gently squeezed her tits making her moan, “Yeah baby, just like that. Don't be shy anymore okay? I know you like this as much as I do”, Chae raises her waist and aligns your cock with her wet entrance. “I love you”, And with that she lowers her waist, struggling to take your cock. “Fuck”, You grunted feeling how tight she is, “It hurts so much babe”, She moaned before leaning into your neck. “You're really gonna split me apart”, Her breath has become shaky as she continues pushing more of you into her.

“Chae”, You whispered, “Yeah baby? Do you like it?” She bites your ear, “Take it slow” Oh no. “Hehehehehe, I'm not fragile you know”, Hearing your submission gave her a new source of energy. Her lips crashed on to yours as both of her hands hugged your head, not letting you move. As she managed to take your full length she didn't bother to rest a little and start moving. “I'll get used to this babe, I promise. We're made for each other, you and I”, She moans while her lower body is screaming in agony, but she couldn't care less. Her mind was already overtaken by lust, all those sleepless nights from missing you has caused her to have so much pent up stress. “Fuck Chae, calm down for a second”, You moaned feeling how aggressive she has become.

“No baby, you have no idea how much I miss you”, Chae presses her head against yours, you can see her eyes are filled with nothing but madness. “Those sleepless nights, all those times I woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming that you'll be there with me on our bed. Now you're back baby, and I will show you, just how much I've been missing you, how much I needed you”, She rode you even faster, making you let out a moan. “Yeah, do you like it baby? Do you like my pussy”, Chae whispered in your ears, “Grab my ass baby, I know you've always liked them”, She said before she started kissing you again.

In for a penny, in for a pound. Your hand reached down to grab her ass cheek. The first thing you noticed was how soft and smooth her skin feels, and as you squeeze them you find yourself enjoying the firmness of it. “Do you like it baby?” Chaewon moaned, “I….. do”, Chae smiled hearing your words. “Well don't be shy, use me however you like babe”, Her words are way too potent for you, “Fuck, Chae I'm about to-” Feeling your cock throbbing inside her Chae closed your mouth with her hand. “No baby, you need to hold it in”, Your eyes give her a protesting glare as Chae continues riding you. “I know it's your first time, baby, but I need you to be strong”, She loves seeing your panicked face thinking that you are having a hard time holding it in, but then you open your mouth. “It's not my first time”, Her waist sits on you as she stops moving, her eyes clearly filled with hatred.

“My baby, my innocent baby boy was corrupted by that WHORE?” Chae wanted to scream at you, to slap you for allowing yourself to get used by some whore. “Haaaaa, that bitch, I won't let her get close to you ever again”, But then she continued moving again, “Chae?” You on the other hand are struggling to hold your ejaculation, god knows what she's gonna do if you fail to follow her commands. “I guess it would be selfish for me if I wanted you to stay virgin. But that's okay right babe? Even if it's not our first time, what matters is that from now on we will only do this with each other”, Chae finds her rhythm back, riding you aggressively. Slowly the feelings turns into torture for you, “Chae I really need to-, Fuck”, Everytime you begged her she would just bite your chest, “You can hold om just a little more right babe? I want to finish with you so wait for me a little more baby”, Chae gives you a cute pouting expression, completely contrasting how her lower body is riding you like an animal.

“Fuck Chae, please?” You whined again, this time you lost control of your face making it contort into a pathetic pleading expression. “Haaaaa, you look so cute like that”, Of course this whole thing is about the power play with Chae. She loves seeing you struggle and suffer just so you can please her. “Chae please?” you whined, “Call me babe”, Chae feels her orgasm is building up as well. “Babe, let me cum please?” Oh yeah, she's awakening a new kink right now, “Tell me you love me”, She whispered in your ears. “I love you babe”, You can feel Chae start shaking, “Tell me you'll leave that whore for me”, Last change bucko, will your rational mind return? “I will leave her for you babe, I love you”, Guess not.

“Haaaaa, then cum baby, cum inside me. Fill me up with your love please”, Hearing your total submission sends her over the edge. As your cum starts to shoot inside her, Chae kisses you again, desperately biting onto your lips as she's also having her orgasm. Your mind went blank for a moment as it short-circuited. “Haaaaa, haaaaa, haaaaa, welcome back baby, I love you”, Chae kissed your cheeks as the two of you were catching your breath. “Can you, get off me Chae?” She shakes her head, “Call me babe okay? I'm your girlfriend now so I need you to call me your baby from now on”, On top of that she kinda likes having your dick inside her. “Baby, can you get off me?” But of course, being the perfect girlfriend she will do anything to please you.

You tried to stand up when she got off of you but her hand immediately grabbed onto yours. “Where are you going?” Her voice filled with annoyance and a tiny hint of threat. “I need to wash up”, Her smile came back as she stood up with you, “Then let's have a shower together, I'll clean you babe”, She wrapped her arm around yours and pulled you to the bathroom. Once the two of you finished the shower Chae pulled you back to the bathroom and cuddled up with you. Her head rests on top of your shoulder as her finger is drawing around on your chest.

Now, how do you deal with this situation? Would you pick her over Minju? Or would you come clean to Minju that you just cheated on her. Your mind wanders around to the countless times you spend the night with Minju. Her warmth, her smile, her….. love, do they feel the same as what Chaewon is doing to you? Those memories hit you like a truck, alongside it are the guilt that just tearing you apart. Looking down at Chae, you see her smile at you before moving on to caress your hair. It really does feel like a fever dream, having her like this with you. Maybe it was a sign, Chaewon is just a dream and Minju is the reality?

Your conflicted expression doesn't escape Chae, she knows that you're having second thoughts again. It pisses her off, but she doesn't want to push you too much, after all her ex tends to use a much more delicate approach when she's being, defiant. “Baby, I feel so tired right now. You really did a number on me you know?” She wrapped her arm around you, caressing your cheek and pulling your head closer to hers so she can kiss the other one. It feels wrong, her touch, this all feels so, artificial. You stay quiet, trying to organise your mind. Chae sighed before she cuddled up closer to you, “Let's get some rest baby. You said you just got off the plane this morning right? Get some sleep baby, I'll order us food for later”, Her leg wrapped around your waist. You of course managed to read between the lines, “You are not leaving here”

“Meow”, Luna? Where did that little shit throughout all this? “Come here Luna”, Chae said, Luna jumps up onto your bed and comfortably snuggles into Chaewon's torso. Huh, that's weird, is this an omen? Chae looks at your bewildered face and starts letting Luna, “I told you I'll make her enjoy my cuddles” And I'll do the same to you, babe.

#kpop fanfic #kpop gg #kpop smut #le sserafim #le sserafim smut #kim chaewon #chaewon smut #male reader

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alisonsfics · 4 months ago

Text

off limits - part four

pairing: brothersbestfriend!henry cavill x reader

summary: henry was best friends with your brother, theo, which meant despite the clear chemistry between you two, you both had chosen to not date.

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5 coming soon

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, drinking, LOTS of flirting, many many smut references but no actual smut

You and Henry both sat silently in his car. Since your car was booted, Henry convinced you to spend the night at his apartment. Now that you were sitting in Henry’s sleek black car, you realized how hard it was going to be for you both to keep your hands off each other.

“Have we just set ourselves up for failure?” You asked, looking over at Henry. His soft eyes met yours, and you wanted to melt. “Do you already want to kiss me? You gotta last a little longer than that before you want to cave.” He teased you.

You rolled your eyes at his mischievous smirk. “I always want to kiss you.” You said, glancing down at his lips.

“Oh, fuck, gorgeous. Don’t do that to me. You know I’m not strong enough to resist you.” He told you, honestly. He groaned to himself, taking a deep breath. He could see how much you wanted to crawl over the center console and kiss him. It didn’t help that he wanted it just as badly.

He slotted the key into the ignition, and the car roared to life. It sent butterflies into your stomach. There was something exciting about not knowing what was going to happen next.

“Can we please just…set some ground rules for tonight? I’m scared that if we don’t, this will end badly.” You begged him. He nodded his head, sharing your fears.

“First, no nicknames. I melt every time you call me Hen.” He confessed. You felt the same way every time he called you sweetheart.

“Also, you have to stop giving me the fuck me eyes.” You added, pointing at him. Your words caught him completely off guard. He let out a chuckle. “I’m sorry, the what?” He asked you, bewildered.

“The fuck me eyes,” you said, like it was common sense, “when I catch you looking at me from across the room, and I can tell you’re undressing me with your eyes. Or when your eyes look me up and down, and you bite down on your bottom lip.”

“I didn’t realize that I did that,” Henry said, recalling all the times he’d probably done that without meaning to. He hoped Theo had caught onto that little habit.

“Can’t blame me though, like when I saw you in that bikini tonight,” he said, glancing away from the road to look at you.

You quickly put your hands over your eyes. “Nope, that’s the look! Reel it in, tiger,” you said to him.

Henry held his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I’m not looking anymore,” he said, telling you it was safe to uncover your eyes.

“Thank you for making me aware that that was something I did.” He told you, chuckling. You giggled with him. “Something you do all the time,” you corrected him. He knew you were probably right.

“That’s probably specific to when I’m around you. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known, you know that?” He told you. You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment.

The way Henry looked at you was enough to make you weak in the knees. He looked at you like you were a work of art.

“Now that we’ve established some ground rules, you want to play some music?” He asked, handing his phone over to you.

“Oooo, I get to look at the Henry Cavill’s music taste. This should be good.” You said, intrigued as you took his phone. You noticed a picture of Henry and Kal was his wallpaper. Henry was wearing a tank top in the picture, and it really showed off his biceps, making you bite down on your lip.

“Oh come on, we talked about you calling me by my full name. It feels so formal. And I promise my taste in music isn’t that interesting,” he added.

You opened Spotify and saw a long list of playlists. They all were pretty much what you would expect: workout songs, road-trip tunes, songs for early mornings.

Then, a playlist caught your eye.

“songs that remind me of her✿”

You instantly felt a twinge of jealousy. You had stumbled across a playlist for an old girlfriend. How was that supposed to make you feel?

Your jealousy took over. You didn’t say a word, but clicked on the playlist to see what songs were on it.

You recognized that the first song on the playlist was your favorite song that you were always humming to yourself. The playlist was almost entirely comprised of love songs. You recognized most of the songs, with a few of them being forbidden love songs.

You felt your stomach do a flip when you realized that the playlist was made for you. You felt tears start to form in your eyes. You were overwhelmed with emotions, for two different reasons: 1.) It was the most romantic gesture anyone had ever made for you 2.) It made Henry seem even more perfect, and you could envision how loving and caring he would be in a relationship.

Henry noticed how quiet you got and saw you put your head into your hands.

“Hey hey hey, what’s going on?” He asked you, reaching over and placing his hand on your knee comfortingly.

He quickly pulled his car over to the side of the road. You had all of his attention. “Are you okay?” He asked you, his concern clear in his voice.

You looked over at him. Without overthinking it, you cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. You kissed his soft lips and let your other hand rest on his chest.

His instincts kicked in, and he kissed you back. He poured everything he had into the kiss. He wanted you to feel just how much he adored and cared for you. His arms snaked down to your waist. He was seconds away from pulling you into his lap. You both had been thinking about doing this since that first night on the rooftop.

Then, he stopped himself.

He moved your hands off of him and pulled himself out of the kiss. “We both promised each other we wouldn’t let this happen.” He said, trying to make it clear that was the only reason he was stopping you.

“How else am I supposed to react when you are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. And you’re better than every boyfriend I’ve ever had, and we’re not even dating.” You said, laughing at the irony.

He gave you a confused look. You flipped around the screen, so he could see what you were looking at.

“Oh, that. I made that while you were in Hawaii, and I was really upset that there was nothing I could do that would let me be with you.” He told you, honestly. You leaned your head over onto his shoulder. He ran his hand through your hair, trying to comfort you.

“Maybe, we try to come clean to Theo tomorrow? Maybe he’ll understand?” Henry suggested, seeing the look on your face. You sat up straight, shaking your head no.

“I know you’re Theo’s best friend, but you’ve never been his sister. He’s so protective when it comes to boyfriends. He’ll feel like we lied to him if we tell him we want to be together.” You told him, honestly.

“But I want to be with you and be the one to put a smile on your face everyday. If dealing with some criticisms and protectiveness from Theo is what it takes, then I’m willing to deal with it. That’s better than seeing you this upset.” He told you.

“You are the one to make me smile everyday, Henry, but I can’t risk your relationship with Theo. You guys have been best friends forever.” You explained, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

“We don’t deserve to be miserable forever. This whole situation is fucked.” He swore, hitting his steering wheel. He took a breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. None of this is your fault.” He quickly apologized. You ran your hand over his bicep, trying to comfort him and let him know it was alright.

“I think we need to get our minds off this.” He said, smirking at you. You cocked your head to the side. “What do you have in mind?” You asked him, curiously.

“We’re gonna go to my apartment and get hammered,” he said, driving back onto the road. He started driving towards his apartment again. “That sounds fantastic. I’d say we deserve it after all the stuff we’ve been dealing with.” You told him, giggling to yourself.

You were game for anything that would get your mind off you and Henry’s situation.

Henry picked a random playlist, and you both sang along, completely ignoring the fact that you both still hadn’t come to an agreement on telling Theo or not.

It felt nice to just spend time with Henry and ignore the rest of the world.

You both pulled up outside Henry’s apartment. He quickly opened your door for you and led you up to his apartment.

He unlocked the front door and led you inside. You realized you had never been in Henry’s apartment. “This is a nice apartment. I love your paintings.” You complimented.

He chuckled and looked back at you. “You sound surprised that I know how to decorate.” He said, smirking at you.

“I’m just impressed,” you said, following him into the kitchen.

You watched as Henry’s back flexed as he reached up to grab two shot glasses out of the cabinet. He grabbed a bottle of liquor off his bar setup and poured two shots.

He handed one to you. “Ooo, yes, come to mama,” you cheered, graciously accepting the shot.

You both clinked your glasses together before downing the shots. “Hit me again, I dealt with an annoying ex-boyfriend tonight.” You told him, putting your glass back down. Henry didn’t protest, but instead smiled at you as you downed another shot.

You both started goofily dancing in the kitchen, while trying to drown your sorrows. It was working. You both had forgotten about all of it and were just laughing and having a good time.

“To that asshole Cameron,” Henry toasted as you both took another shot. You pursed your lips as the warm liquid washed down your throat. “He’s not that bad, Henry, I promise.” You tried to convince him.

Henry shook his head. “I think he knew I had a thing for you. Why else would he be talking about some date where he fucked you next to a lake and then try to hit on you?” He ranted.

You giggled at how jealous Henry was. When he was sober, Henry was great at biting his tongue. Now, that filter was almost completely gone.

“Maybe he hit on me because I’m hot and would be a great catch,” you suggested, smirking at Henry. He realized what he’d said. “I didn’t mean that the only reason to flirt with you was to make me jealous. You are obviously drop dead gorgeous. I mean, look at you.” He said, grabbing your hand and spinning you around.

“You’re not too bad on the eyes either,” you returned the light flirting. The filters that normally made you both keep your thoughts unspoken were now gone. Every flirty comment that crossed your mind was coming out your mouth, and the same for Henry.

“It’s really a shame you’re Theo’s sister because we’d be a pretty attractive couple.” Henry joked, earning some giggles from you. He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your back towards his chest. He held onto you as you both laughed together, blissfully unaware of how’d you feel in the morning.

You attempted to pull out of Henry’s grasp. “Fuck, you’re strong. You arms are huge,” you mumbled in awe, as his muscular arm didn’t budge. His entire body was pressed against yours but his cheeks still turned pink as you complimented him.

Sober Henry would’ve dropped the subject and moved on, but drunk Henry had other plans.

“You should see what I can do with them,” he teasingly whispered in your ear.

It was your turn to be flustered. Images of Henry flipping you around and pinning you up against the wall flashed through your mind.

“Show me,” you whispered softly. Henry was constantly impressed with how you kept him on his toes.

You heard him gulp as he processed what you said. His grip on your waist loosened as you distracted him. You had been leaning towards him, so you both got sent tumbling to the ground.

Henry landed flat on his back, and you landed on top of him. You both met each others’ gaze and burst into laughter. The previous tension was almost completely gone, and you both were laughing in each other’s arms.

“Oh, hello there,” he said, still laughing and brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. You grinned as you looked down at him. “Don’t you kiss me, Cavill,” you teased him.

He cocked his head to the side. “You got to kiss me earlier,” Henry joked, tickling your side. You flopped over onto the ground next to him. He slowly got to his feet and helped you stand.

And that was the last thing you remembered.

The bright sunshine peeking in through the curtains woke you up, followed quickly by your pounding headache.

You glanced around at your surroundings, trying to remember where you were. It definitely wasn’t your apartment.

You were lying on a couch in a giant baggy tshirt that definitely wasn’t yours and a pair of boxers like pajama shorts.

You looked around for your phone and found it on the dining table that was scattered with empty red solo cups.

The thick smell of cologne on the shirt you were wearing caught your attention. It was Henry’s cologne. You remembered drinking and flirting with Henry in the kitchen, but nothing that happened after.

You slowly walked over to Henry’s open bedroom door. He was shirtless and in sweatpants as he haphazardly slept on top of the blankets.

You softly knocked on the door since your head was already pounding.

You had a pit in the bottom of your stomach. Knowing how drunk you’d been, you were worried that you and Henry slept together. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t let it happen.

Henry slowly lifted his head off the bed when he heard you. “Morning. Fuck, my head hurts,” he swore to himself. He patted the spot next to him on the bed.

You flopped down next to him, trying to ignore how hot he was with messy hair and a morning voice.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked him, with a serious tone. He nodded his head and propped himself up on his arm, so he could look at you.

“We’re adults, so I’m just gonna ask you. Did we have sex last night? I can’t remember a fucking thing.” You asked him, bracing for his answer.

“I was wondering the same thing. The last thing I remember is us almost fucking against the fridge and then lying on the floor.” He told you, chuckling to himself. You took a deep breath, trying to force yourself to remember. Based on what you remembered, the two of you hooking up didn’t sound unlikely.

“Theo is gonna be so fucking pissed.” You mumbled, running your hands through your hair. Henry remembered the stakes and swore under his breath.

“Surely it doesn’t count if we don’t even remember it, right?” He asked, trying (unsuccessfully) to reassure you.

Despite your raging headache and sense of impending doom, it still made you giggle.

“I’m gonna go make us some coffee. You can stay here.” Henry said, climbing out of bed.

You waited patiently, as the warm smell of coffee filled his apartment. You grabbed your phone from beside you, then realized it was unlocked and it was Henry’s phone, not yours.

You shouldn’t have snooped, but it was open to his camera roll, showing a selfie of the two of you from last night. You accidentally swiped and saw another selfie that Henry must’ve accidentally taken.

It showed you taking a shot as Henry watched. He was as close to heart eyes as you can get. He was practically drooling watching you.

You swiped again, hoping you’d find a picture to jog your memory of last night. You were praying you didn’t come across anything too spicy of the two of you.

The next, and last, was a video. It started with Henry. You could see his bare shoulders and knew he was shirtless.

He was whispering to the camera, like he was telling it a secret. “She told me I could film this, and it’s gonna be the best moment of my life,” he slurred, sounding celebratory.

He set the phone down on a side table, and the video showed the whole room.

You both were playing beer pong from the looks of it. Then, you realized that Henry was shirtless and you had no pants on. You felt your heart sink as you realized that you both had played strip poker.

“Alright, you ready, Cavill?” You heard yourself ask Henry. Henry was practically clutching onto the table. You watched Henry’s reaction as you pulled your shirt over your head. He stared, speechless, at you standing across from him in a bra and panties.

“You still sure about that just friends thing?” Henry asked, nearing you in the video. You panicked thinking your fate was sealed. Then, you watched as you pushed Henry away in the video. “Don’t you dare. You know we can’t,” you watched yourself stop him.

You felt relief knowing that you still had some logic and reasoning, even while completely hammered.

Then, Henry walked back into his room with two cups of coffee. “Well, we definitely didn’t sleep together, but we did something else. Still stupid, but not as stupid.” You told him, graciously accepting the coffee mug.

“Oh no,” Henry mumbled as he sat beside you.

You flipped the phone screen around to show him. He nearly spit out his coffee. “We played strip poker, and I filmed it?” He asked, not believing what he was seeing.

“You need to make sure you didn’t accidentally send that to anyone. If that got sent to Theo, I will be moving to another country.” You told him. Henry chuckled to himself and took his phone to check if he had sent any texts last night.

“You mean sending your brother a video of us playing strip poker isn’t the best way to get him to eventually approve of us dating?” He said, sarcastically.

You watched Henry’s face as he scrolled through his phone. You noticed the way his eyes grew wider. You placed your hand on his forearm, practically holding on for dear life. “What did you find?” You asked, nervously.

“I have a text from Theo that asks if I want to hang out with you and him tomorrow, and I’m fucking scared to open the chat.” He said. This was the most nervous you had ever seen him.

He set down his mug on his bedside table and opened the message.

He breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that no videos had been sent to Theo.

“But why does he want to talk to us? Do you think he knows?” You spiraled.

“I’m sure it’s fine. There’s no way that he would know about us. Nobody knows, right?” Henry put on a face of confidence to keep you calm as he panicked on the inside.

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