#which i think was just...like 2 or 3 yrs lmfao

[whatisshelties]

When you see the Purina Incredible Dog Challenge described as one of the most prestigious events in dog sports and you're like how?

You run the same agility course 2 times the day before filming so you can make sure you have it down for the camera. It's run 4 times total. You have to know someone who knows someone to be invited for anything other than disc and dock. It's a production? Not real????

I think because I don't train dogs for a living I don't find a lot of value in it as an accomplishment, so when people talk it up I'm like...it's not that big of a deal? I say this as someone who has done 3 of them, one being the "national."

[anotherpapercut]

sorry if this is extraordinarily pretentious but I do think it's wild that lobe piercings count as piercings in the same way a lip piercing does. it feels wrong. I have never thought of ear piercings as real piercings it seems like you should just be born with those right like they should be just in there naturally

[supermaks]

re: chirlies rejoicing that pgasly said c2 aren't friends, the chirlies are rejoicing bc, well a fair amount hate carlos for various reasons but it's a combination of (1) bc the ferrari civil war is ongoing (2) the way ferrari has pushed c2 content to paper over their own shortcomings (3) chirlies being accused of being fake tifosi bc they don't like carlos and they should support both drivers, (4) adding to the prev point, c2 fans will often point to how c2 are friends and like each other as to why they should both stay at ferrari and chirlies should stop hating on carlos (vs how the chirlies want carlos out after 2024)

imo, i think chirlies are just on edge bc charles' contract hasn't been renewed yet and carlos is allegedly pushing for a 2 yr deal. personally, i don't hate carlos, he's just kinda there but 2022 & 2023 has kinda shown the limits of the partnership bc they just want different things from the car so i think it's better for everyone to turn the page come the end of 2024 for c2

fascinating ok before i give u my understanding of what was said here and which wud prolly turn a 1950's lancia engineer to dust like the sentence 'chirlies are just on edge bc charles contract hasnt been renewed yet' alone has been radiating thru my skull like a concussion for like 20 mins

I'm starting to c that a lot of sharl fans are very threatened by carlos and his influence on the team and again, from what ur telling me, the fact that he wants different things from the car than sharl is a problem and so .. basically .. for sharl to win a championship, which as a fan thats what u wanna c happen, carlos needs to go. Like thats where the animosity comes from, right, that Carlos is an obstacle to sharl's success or whatvr. If that is it, in my opinion not only ur overestimating Carlos, ur underestimating sharl and by a gross amount, btw. IF bald man is telling the truth and the car is gonna be sharper, better suited to oversteer, ((faster)) and they're working on their strategy, and the pit wall and stuff and actually becoming a title contending team, dont u think this hierarchy of 1st and 2nd driver will be forced on carlos whether he likes it or not? Because its kind of inevitable, and it'll be up to him and his management to fit into that role, not the other way around. Sergio Perez and his dad earlier this year were floating prost and senna conversations. And we know what happened, and of course it happened. We know there was never a point where Max was slower than Checo, just like sharl has never been slower than Carlos. So if theres gonna be a car, in these current regulations, capable of winning the title, sharl will be the one who has better pace wid it. Because hes just faster, his setups are faster, he knows how to extract more from the same car. Carlos winning in Silverstone, Singapore, is literally him doing his job, scraping the success he can out of a messy, unfocused, somehow well positioned Ferrari team, wid the tools he's given at the time, just like any other ((self respecting)) driver wud btw. Bro if Carlos ever thought he cud be a 'first driver' is because Ferrari let him, and I refuse to blame him for that. Not even 'blame' like hes doing his fucking job hes a competitor. When teams are strong the roles drivers play become better defined and they either put up or shut up. I cant even envision a Ferrari where sharl has some type of dominant machinery to work wid and Carlos is still a threat in any way lmfao

'the way ferrari has pushed c2 content to paper over their own shortcomings' totally get that, like thats been their literal marketing strategy for years and personally I dont like it either I think its unserious especially for a brand like ferrari to appeal to ((mostly female)) new audiences just thru the like parasocial angle of hey do u wanna fuck our drivers cool heres them doing charades and almost kissing like ur literally one of the most established most recognizable brands in the world moving like HYBE. ok.

'chirlies being accused of being fake tifosi bc they don't like carlos and they should support both drivers' bro I find carlos whole dynamic wid ferrari and tifosi and like that whole establishment so interesting and kinda brutal when u think about how hes paired up wid il predestinato whose like suffering and unfairness in this world is literally part of his brand and puts him and his fans on the defensive against everybody else. Like Sainz fans just gotta learn to pick their battles bro. Carlos is doing a job at Ferrari, the other guy is fulfilling a prophecy lmfao.

'c2 fans will often point to how c2 are friends and like each other as to why they should both stay at ferrari and chirlies should stop hating on carlos' I .. are c2 fans all 12 years old idk what else to say about this. Its gullible and seems like those people dont know exactly what they're engaging wid but thats not their fault again its how the sports being marketed

In conclusion sharl definitely gonna re/sign and prolly for a fucking insane amount of money because like carlos is not even top 5 of shit Ferrari needs to address so they can win a championship and they know first order of business is to make sharl happy and keep him extremely employed. Its looking like sharl will get a 3+2 and tbh like I said before, its up to carlos and his management to try and make the best out of a situation where the car is moving away from his comfort zone. A bottas like contract wud be an insult to the Sainz family but idk if they got much of a choice and it'll be interesting to c what happens. Im also thinking like if carlos does leave who wud replace him and why wud they for sure be a better fit than he is

[emeraldoo]

HEY! HEY!! LOOK AT ME!!

LE MEH!!!

hi, my name is bastion!! i have lots of other names im ok with tho, like bb, b, 8, shiver, weird, etc! im not ok with the nickname EM or EMERALD!

i am a zombie, autism creature, maned wolf kin and fict kin Shiver from spl3 <3 i am also NOT a minor!!!!!! 19 yrs :•)) im also a rogue of mind!! (homestuck hoe.)

i am a trans male! i use he/xe/it prns! currently questioning my romantic attraction (pretty sure im bi-gay), but i am asexual!

i am the host in the zipties system, a did system!! some of the head mates have their own blogs, which ill tag :•)

i am audhd, gad, ocd, and a general cluster b pd haver!! i also have some delusions from ~an unkown disorder~ so! working thru some stuff still!

MY INTERESTS!!!!!!!

SPLATOON AUGHHHHH most of my blog is splatoon....

i freaking LOVE nnsg :•3333 the anime of ALL TIME!!

SCIENCE!!!!!!! i plan on majoring in microbiology and synthetic biology but i luv ALL science!!

MUSIC/BAND!! i play euphonium and play in marching band and concert ensembles <3

i luvvv itsv and atsv and all of the spiderverse stuf!!!!!! my fave spider in spider man india btw.!

GUILD WARS 2 AIUGHHJJJHHH THE BEST EVER ACTUWLLY. PLAY IT PLAY IT RNNNN

ALTERS!!

not all of our alters choose to make profiles, and we arent going to force them to make them. if you need to know them, just send a DM or ask

* = written by alter

BASTION (☘️): DAS ME BITCH! im the host and core of the system >:•D i am the main guy in this blog soooo ya. (he/him, xe/xem, it/its)

EM/@riddlekid (🧪): the rat. horrible terrible (/hj... i guess..!) obsessed with horrible ppl sooo. erm yeah. he is also a prosecutor.!! also second most freq fronter :•P (it/its, he/him)

JON/@just-dr (🎃): jon!! he is a protector and a fictive of jonathan crane.. he is nice :•)) he doesnt associate much with his source tho so shrugsies (he/him, they/them)

MILES (👤): i actually dont know much abt them... they do their job rlly good tho! protector n stuff.. cool! (they/them)

CORNELIUS/PICKLES (🩸): (updated 11/22/23) cornelius stirk (batman unburied) and pickle inspector splitroject.. wears the skin of both of them and tends to switch based on mood. but they are the same guy! (they/it/he)

JADE (🌐): cutey patootie wolf thing! fictive of jade from homestuck andddd yeah!! cool (she/they)

KARKAT/@karkat-cornbread (🔥): fictive of karkat homestuck guy. gets very angry very fast. idk role but yeah. the amgry one ig (he/they)

* DAVE/@karkat-cornbread (🕶️): yea. is this bitch predictable or what lmfao (he/any)

* HAL/9K/@timothy-timeaus (🛑): Beep boop. Coolest splinter of Dirk. I'm also cool with the name Odyssey or 9k. (They/Them)

* EQUIUS/@runningfromred (🐎): Yes hello I am Equius I am more active on the cohost but might still use this platform (he/they)

* TIM/ @timothy-timaeus (🔗): I'm my own subsystem of splinters. I'm just a ye ol Dirk splinter. (he/him)

* CALUM/@timothy-timaeus (🧢): bro strider splinter and a real goof. heeheeee (she/her)

* JAKE (🦎): Your caretaker and funny guy! im from meat timeline and have alot of pseudos, sorry if im hesitant to interact with sourcemates :B (he/him)

MY TAGGING SYSTEM!! (wip 8[)

#emeraldo slay posting: all of my posts! that i leave words on are tagged with 8)

DNI :•(

its not rlly. much? the only stuff i rlly care abt is jerks.. if ur a jerkkk (terf, racist, zionist, ableist, antikin, sysmed, transmed, antikink, whatever girl u git the gist....)

i don't have especially strong opinions on most discourse... slurcourse, syscourse, flagcourse, shipcourse... its kinda silly.! so um. whatever.

* (Hal writing.) Our take on pro/antiship is "It doesn't fucking matter". We aren't proship, we aren't antiship, we are just kind of shipping whatever the fuck we want. If you think it's problematic, we most likely won't care. Unless there's a genuine reason to be concerned, don't bother.

exclusionists!!!! i don't like you!!!!!!!!!!!! aphones, panphobes, biphobes, mspec gay/lesbian haters, antixenogender, anti neoprns, whatever! i do not like you at all >:•{

hp fans... you know why :•) please find a better media ..

radqueers.. i do not like. and it makes uncomfortable.. especially more extreme labels like transhateful things.. scary in a bad way!

BYE BYE!!

[prince-simon]

🍓🍑🫐

(i feel like 🍓 has to be yr right? other than that would love answers for dbd too👀)

hi tiffyyyy thank you for the fruits!!

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

okay i already answered this here just now but for maximum promotion i'm gonna mention another one

often, repeatedly

which has gender! so it's right up your alley! it's also a band au! idk why i'm talking like you haven't literally beta read this fic but! for everyone who hasn't read it go check it out! it's cute!

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

i'm just saying. if in the next prince simon chapter simon ends up being a fan of dead boy detectives don't call me out on it kssksk also do not call me out if there's a season 2, 3 and 10 for dead boy detectives. it's my universe!! i can do whatever i want!!

now that i'm thinking about it. simon would relate sooo hard to charles probably lmfao (clearly there's a theme with my blorbos)

ANYWAY don't call me out i'm warning you! (is that wonderfully pretentious enough? did i answer the question? sksks)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

i think the dbda fandom should recognise the potential of a toxic relationship between the night nurse and the notary sksksks i mean i guess i could write it myself but y'know. effort lmao but yes i think there's potential there and they're underrated but it's everything i can think about whenever i rewatch the show (which is a lot) go stream dead boy detectives on netflix now!

send me an ask :)

[borom1r]

@theshakespearetrash SENT ME MORE ASKS ILYYYYYY TYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! this round is abt remake!John Ryder + my OC Kenneth >:3

(ask meme)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

2– What was their first impression of each other?

Kenneth thought John was the hottest person he’d ever seen in his life. John thought Ken was a freak weirdo with issues (correct)

6– If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Ken would’ve believed you. John would’ve scoffed

7– What would their lives be like if they had never met?

HM. Ken probably would’ve died in a car crash and/or some other insane snuff scenario. he was looking to get hurt when he picked up John.

John would’ve died a red smear on a New Mexico highway thanks to the butt of Grace’s shotgun.

GENERAL

2– Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

sort of???? Ken counts their first night together as their first date, since “date nights” generally involve murder or seedy motel room roleplays lmao.

so not. SUPER official, but Ken picked up John, got turned on when John threatened him with a knife which John really wasn’t expecting. Ken drove them both to a motel room + the rest is history!

3– What was their first kiss like?

VERY UN-ROMANTIC. John bit the shit out of Ken’s bottom lip. (un)fortunately for everyone involved, Ken found that extremely hot.

4– Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

uh yeah actually. mutually each other’s first Serious Committed Relationship. freak2freak communication.

5– What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Ken’s the same height as John (they r both 5’10) + John is 20 yrs older (48 to Ken’s 28)

6– What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Do they share a friend group?

NONEXISTENT + NONEXISTENT. They both cut ties w/ their family + Ken’s vibes are generally Strange and Offputting. has a couple work friends from the derby track. John has no friends.

7– Who takes the lead in social situations?

Positive social situations? Ken. Murders and/or fights? John

8– Who gets jealous easier?

JOHN. does not help that Ken likes to make him jealous

9– Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

they mutually tease each other lol. this is bad if they’re in public bc it generally ends w/ some fucker getting killed on the side of a highway

LOVE

2– What are their primary love languages?

both touch, actually

3– Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

KEN lol

4– How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA? rare to never. cuddling? John has accepted it as an inevitability that Ken is gonna wind up w/ his head in John’s lap At Some Point if they’re home watching TV/relaxing

5– Who initiates kisses?

casual kisses, Ken. John gets bitey if they’re fucking + Ken’s just along for the ride, there

6– Who’s the big and little spoon?

they don’t normally spoon bc John finds it stifling, but if he’s having a bad day then Ken will big spoon

7– What are their favorite things to do together?

murder ppl??? modify cars??? have sex near crime scenes??? plot their mutual demise??? idk man they’re terrible people

8– Who’s better at comforting the other?

Ken’s better at comforting John

9– Who’s more protective?

KEN. Ken as a rule does not murder people (he just likes watching), but if there’s a risk of John getting hurt? he’ll tear the fucking world apart. especially after hauling John’s battered, BRAIN-DAMAGED body off the highway. he MAKES John wear a seatbelt now lmao

10– Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical for both. John’s terrible at verbal affection anyways lol

11– What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

LMFAO. CRASH BY GWEN STEFANI /hj

real answer is How We Operate by Gomez for obvious reasons, + I also really like Satan is My Motor by CAKE for them

12– What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don’t. Ken might call John “babe” once in a blue fucking moon but that’s it. John calls Ken “freak”

13– Who remembers the little things?

Kennnnnn but John gets a pass he had a traumatic brain injury

DOMESTIC LIFE

6– Who worries the most?

KEN. he doesn’t express it well but he worries sooooo much abt John + them potentially being tracked down. constantly updating escape plans

7– Who kills the bugs in the house?

both of them lol they don’t care abt bugs

8– How do they celebrate holidays?

Ken drags John kicking + screaming into a Festive Mood. it was a fucking fistfight getting John to celebrate his own birthday nevermind like. actual holidays. Ken is 100% the kind of person to just hang a plant in the door to the trailer so he has an excuse to kiss John (it’s definitely not mistletoe but stfu it still counts)

9– Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

also mutual actually. John doesn’t generally have anywhere to be until dark + Ken loves any excuse to Lay On John lol

10– Who’s the better cook?

John if he tried. he does not try. Ken can cook the basics. they get takeout most of the time

[dukeofdelirium]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "dukeofdelirium "?

Oh lord. Fav fanfics? Idk if I could even come up with 10.

I don’t really read fanfic that much these days unfortunately, mostly bc I haven’t rlly had time with my current job. I do write fanfic on my AO3 though (but my updating is random bc I work a lot). You can find me on AO3 at dukeofdelirium

I have multiple ongoing fanfics, including a Death Note/lawlight one that I’m writing the 2nd chapter for when I have free time.

As for my all time fav fanfics? Ummmmmmm

1) Genius Is a Curse by Bloodshot Eyes both on ao3 and fanfiction.net.

This is a DN AU where Light never finds the DN. I will say it’s very heavy on mental illness and things like that, and ppl might find the content triggering so I would read with caution if this is the case for you. It’s a fanfic that I still think about to this day and that I’ve reread maybe 5 times in the last 14 yrs. Something about it rlly stuck with me and I still think about it all the time.

2) The Hinterland Doctrine aka Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything by Halfpromise both on ao3 and fanfiction.net

We all know where we were when this shit dropped lmfao. This is one of the most iconic death note/lawlight fanfics ever written and just so you’re aware, it’s almost 800,000 words. It has its own tv tropes article and everything 😂 I remember reading this fic in highschool and it had me fucked up in all sorts of ways. I’ve been thinking about rereading it bc I haven’t read it in years but I remember how much I loved it. It’s also an AU where Light is a politician, I’m not telling you anything else 🤫

3) motion picture soundtrack by lowlightt on ao3

this author…. This AUTHOR…. Nahhhhhh their writing makes me actually insane I’m serious. Me and my bestie kept sending their fics back and forth in our group chat and we were literally quoting the fics and going crazy until like 4am for multiple nights in a row 😂 see I’ll do it right now. IT’S VIOLENCE, THIS KISS! god that knocks the wind out of me 🤣

4) Drag You Down by chocomd on ao3

This is a Katara x Aang long fic where they break up and eventually get back together. I rlly love this author and I’ve read most of their works. I recommend all their stuff, especially Midnight Meditations and Without Water which are both one shots I believe? Don’t quote me on that tho

The only other fics coming to my mind are fanfics that my friends have written. Like I said, I don’t rlly read too much fanfic these days and when I do read them, I am very selective and picky about it. For a fic to hold my interest and actually be memorable, they rlly have to scratch a highly niche itch in my brain lol. I’ll link some of my besties fanfics if anyone wants to check them out :)

5) Golden Hour by FuelMyDelusions on ao3

This is a Jacob x Bella longfic and a Breaking Dawn rewrite (thank god cuz we all know it needs that) and I’m WAITING FOR BESTIE TO UPDATE 🙄 jk I can’t talk cuz I know she’s waiting for me to update my shit too 😔🤚🏻

6) Aurora - A New Dawn by poizonivory on ao3

This is another twilight Jacob x Bella longfic that is fixing the hot mess that Breaking Dawn aka Smeyer Hell created. I love this fic so much 👹 you’ll catch me in the comments acting weird

Anyway lol, I can’t think of any other fanfics at the moment. Feel free to shoot me other asks if you want, but yeah I don’t rlly read too many fics these days except for what my friends write and stuff that rlly catches my attention.

And to answer your last question, there isn’t any particular story or meaning behind my username. I’ve just had the username for years and so I use it for practically everything. My URL used to be different over a decade ago when I joined tumblr (I was a 100% death note blog at the time) but then I changed it to dukeofdelirium so I’ve kept this username for many years 😋✌🏻

[caitie-likes-talking]

Part 4 Rewrite Concepts

Ok I've officially decided in my head that I'm going to at least plan out a part 4 rewrite, which is why now im going to give u all an extremely messy and poorly organized list of ideas I have just to like..help myself think them through more!

Ok so I'm having trouble deciding how I want to start the story off. Mainly because I don't want to include the Anjelo arc. I've always thought of part 4 being messily divided into 3 parts (Anjelo, Akira, Kira), which is something I know I want to change and have the whole plot just focus on Kira. I was thinking maybe just have it start in a slice of life style like some of the filler eps but the main problem is that I need to figure out what exactly sparks the whole 'we need to catch the killer' thing. Maybe Josuke and Koichi find Reimi instead of Koichi and Rohan? Idk!

And yknow mentioning Akira, I think this is the hardest arc to write out of the story. I don't want to include it very much, but it was really important for Okuyasu's character arc imo. I also just need to reread part 4 i literally own all of the p4 manga why haven't I done that yet..

I'm thinking of changing stuff w Reimi. I kind of want to make her be born a bit later, therefore killed later. Mainly so that she could be connected to Josukes past and this would better set up the framing of Jotaro that I want, as it would make him 17~ when Kira first kills her (I’d also make kira 5 yrs younger ofc)

For josukes past I’m still a little iffy. I think I might have Reimi just be there w the boy to help pull Tomokos car out of the pothole but idk. Is that cheesy? Just bc I still want Josuke to have his hair and everything..

I want to give Keicho Surface. Ik he alr has a stand, and I love Bad Company, but I wanna make Surface plot relevant and give it to someone who I also want to be plot relevant soo..yeah. In my rewrite I imagine Keicho teams up w Kira bc Kira promises to find a way to kill Keicho’s father.

Also yeah I want to have Jotaro be framed for all of the murders bc again that’s fun idk. And this way there can be a subplot abt clearing his name. Also I want to add holly and possibly baby Jolyne (is that too self indulgent?)

I’m still going to keep the plot w Cinderella (as in kira changing his face) bc I love hayato and shinobu. Plus that whole arc is when we got into p4 being rlly good

For yukako I’m thinking of making her josukes cousin, mainly so that they can have a pre established relationship since yukako probably isn’t getting her stand in this (bc she got it from the arrow right? I don’t want to include that arc. It drove me crazy how everyone kept getting a stand)

I’m thinking Joseph gets introduced after Jotaro is arrested and Jotaro is all like “u need ur dad to help solve this!!”

I wanna focus on the conflicts between Josuke and Joseph. I especially think this could be fun bc ryohei would still be alive, so it’s like a case of “u might be my biological dad, but my REAL dad is right here.”

I also want to let Tomoko actually do something but I haven’t decided what yet.

I’m keeping mikitaka in somehow bc believe it or not I do enjoy fun and whimsy

I’m probably cutting out Rohan entirely tho. He was honestly a good antagonist and I love his stand so I might use that somewhere but I just can’t stand him. (lmfao stand)

Also like at the end of the day this is my au and I do what I want!!

I think I might make one of yukakos parents be a police officer. Bc 1. whether I make her and Josuke related or not, they’re still connected by their relatives on the force and 2. I feel like this could possibly help set her up to help in the kira investigation? Like maybe she’s planning to become a cop or detective in the future so she alr has some skills. Or maybe she could help find files or something. No matter what, I want her to get to actually help w the plot instead of just kidnapping koichi then being sidelined like in canon

For okuyasu I’m thinking his arc is going to be changed a wee bit. Like his brother works w kira, but he befriends Josuke and realizes that what his brothers doing is wrong and like..learns to stand up for the right thing regardless of what his brother says. And a bump in this road could be keichos death. Like imagine ur finally branching off from ur brother and then he DIES? I’d be crawling back to his grave too lmfao

I’m going to work on stand profiles and giving them actual limits and rules. Bc a LOT of them just don’t have that.

I think some stands I’ll still include just bc I like them. Like highway star (even tho that arc was so boring the stand is cool).

Also I still want to focus on the affects of Dio for part of it. I think I might mainly do this w Jotaro and his ptsd tho..

Overall I’m excited and I hope I can flesh this out more !!!

[bloodbending]

i think i am going through a particularly hard transition in my internal life. outgrowing friendships, reckoning with dozens of uncertainties, dealing with the shame and fear of letting go of the safe performance of straightness i held on to for years (i am not out to my whole family and only to some of my friends)...

and it keeps coming up, forcing me to think about it, as i go through milestones with the people in my life. i feel like i cannot ignore it like i have in the past

for ex.

i had two good friends/roommates six-ish years ago, and they're great. one moved across the country and the other stayed where i live, though they live pretty far away. we were a cute trio, though they were closer in age and in the same major/grew up in the same place, so they were always closer to each other than me.

we're all in different careers and now living in completely different parts of the country, so we naturally grew apart. definitely on me as well, i'm very bad at keeping up and don't do a lot of social media anymore. plus i realized i was bisexual a little bit ago, and they knew me purely as the straight girl undergrad (they're 3 yrs older than me). they were very much that brand of cishet college grad who study hard and party harder. so it was fun while we were in college.

years passed and tbh it became clear we were all going in different paths. their priorities were very much 1) career 2) get a man to get married 3) family, house etc. whereas i was 83749 steps behind not even knowing my own sexuality or even fathoming where i was going to be in five years... very much flying by the seat of my pants

i even told roommate 2, the one that lives far away, that i figured out i was bisexual and she was v happy for me. though when i speak to her now, she's very like... reticent to recognize that part of me? she's the type of woman that's like "my gaydar is so accurate!" if you know what i mean lmfao. she means well but it seems she's more comfortable pretending i never came out to her. i didn't tell r1 because we didn't really talk individually and i had always been closer to r2.

roommate 1 invited me to her wedding and me and my other former roommate were really excited. i even texted her when i got the invite like "yesss im so excited!"

cut to months later, when my roommate 2 was in town. we all got dinner together along with roommate 1's fiance (now husband). super nice guy, so glad to see them, it was like no time had passed

the next time R2 was in town, i recommended a place to get dinner. i made reservations. then day of, and R1 and her fiance say they can't make it. no worries, it was far, so i understood

when i hung out one on one with R2 instead, she told me they actually didn't want to go to the restaurant cause it was too expensive and they had to save for their wedding... and i was like oh shit i didn't realize that, i would have been fine going anywhere... i wish she had just told me that directly, and i wondered why she didn't

cut to months later, the actual wedding, which was this week. i get there with R2 who flew in from another state. her fiance greets roommate 2 when we get to the venue and completely ignores me. we'd only met once but i was still kind of taken aback

and then when we go to see where to sit on the tables, i'm not on the seating chart. i freak out, did i not RSVP? i realize i did, she must of just forgotten me on the list, but i of course am completely thrown off and feel so so so bad

i had to ask her like hey, im so sorry something must have happened, can i just sit next to R2? and she was like yes omfg of course when i saw you, i told my event coordinator right away, you have a seat! so it ended up fine

and the whole time i was there i felt myself sliding back to the person i was before-- straight acting among all these upper class new england white girls, unsure, putting up a facade of perfect mental health, etc.

when her husband came to say hi to us again after i was like "hey we met before!" and he just said "yeah that was a long time ago" which... was so uncomfortable, i had no idea what to say

the reception was fun and i think my roommate was totally fine and she was very happy.

but after i came back from the wedding i was like.. damn, that all felt really bad.

like, again, why no text? no call? no nothing? i texted her the second i got the invite. if my RSVP didn't go through through some glitch, why didn't she reach out to me?

it was kind of awful and i felt so bad, both for potentially being a nuisance on her big day and also because i finally felt the result of me not keeping in touch, from work or stress or mental illness. i just can't help but think, man, my anxiety and adhd are real detriments to my life. but i also thought, well, that's just the way it is sometimes. friends stop being compatible, friends drift apart.

i thought about texting her in a few weeks (she literally just got married so i would never come to her with my hurt feelings right now, asshole move on my part) to apologize, say hey, i think there was miscommunication and i hurt you-- maybe you didn't think i was coming to your wedding so it made youassume certain things so i apologize for that.. i hope we're ok

but then i realized that i don't even think it's worth the effort now. she's not a priority in my life anymore, either... which fills me with sadness.

just been thinking about that. i feel i have to draw a line in the sand with who i pretended to be my whole life. i STILL act like that around people who i'm not out around, and tbh im realizing that it's filling me with resentment. i don't want to feel that way. but fear holds me back.

I want to be the person i have been afraid to be. it means facing all my flaws and potential disability-- and ACCEPTING that i have a disability. it that probably means a lot more grief and a lot of hard transitions.

it's a weird and lonely thing

[creylune]

after 3-4 years of not playing i redownloaded fe heroes after i saw the christmas dimitri design... on the plus side because i haven't played in so long, i have like 3 yrs' worth of paralogues to farm orbs from soooo guess who got dimitri 3 times ^___^

considering how last time i played "seriously" aka actually paid any attention to stats/strategy for building a unit was 2017-18 with ayra, and how 44 spd stat was considered godtier back then..... ummm yeah dimitri is so busted LMFAO 😭 i'm not going to play feh seriously or consistently again but it is satisfying seeing him oneshot entire enemy teams much like in fe3h... i think once i'm free from my job at the end of the month i might try drawing the christmas units (i just don't have time to do full illusts in any capacity rn).

he actually came home on my fourth summon attempt which was such a pleasant surprise!!!!! getting the second dimitri took a while though. and then i hit 40 summons and got him for free for #3. i can prob keep going to 80 by the end of the weekend honestly lol

but yeah like ummmmmmmm 🥰😍 that atk is so sexy with the bonuses/skill modifiers (and i still haven't maxed out his skills since i need to grind for sp, but no rush obv)

and then this was from grinding him at lvl 26 vs a lvl 40 enemy lol

honestly with the whirlwind of irl happenings/shit the past few months i've been taking a break from fandom, so i kind of forgot how much i missed chris hackney's dimitri voice acting and just... dimitri in general? his voice lines are so funny and charming i really do love dimitri still at the end of the day... the way he goes, "BLESSED NIGHT!" when you initiate a battle is so funny, dimitri is so weird/endearing.

i managed to pull the christmas byleths too

i wish the duo unit had more movement bc i really dread tank units but the christmas tree-esque outfits + the house head plushies that come out in the special attack art are soooooo cute. i wasn't particularly trying for byleth but managed to pull since a couple of my summons didn't have any green heroes to pick from, so it all works out!

usually when i get kind of into gacha nowadays (very rare, but prsk/hsr this year for like, 2 week durations lol) it's very easy for me to drop $15-20 (i don't go beyond that though) but i'm pretty chuffed i got these just by grinding... the banner's up for like another month anyways so i can just take my time going through the paralogues and farming orbs for more dimitris to pass the time lol

[whatisshelties]

Do people even like to read my thoughts on future dogs?

I got to hold shelties for breeders at the show this last weekend and the breeder I met the other month was there to introduce me to a few people. She got busy helping with dogs after awhile, so that didn't last super long, but at least it's a start. I also was able to tell people I'd been to the fb video call meeting for the sheltie club this week and some people remembered because I have the profile picture that is Not A Sheltie.

So I'm slowly getting out there. I have one more meeting before I can submit my application, then they do a home check (to make sure I'm not a hoarder, lol). They're starting to offer agility trials again, so I'm going to try to at least volunteer, if not get Mud fit enough to run. (Depending on his health.)

Anyway, yesterday had me pining for another sheltie. The more I connect and research, it seems like the area has a surplus of shelties. I shouldn't have a problem getting a puppy after getting on a list or getting a young adult that didn't work out for show. I've gotten the impression it could take years to build relationships and get a dog. Not so sure about that now.

That said, I'm hoping to get to know dogs and breeders better, so I can get paired with the right dog. I saw dogs with personalities I liked this weekend and others that looked worried just walking into the building. I need to get to more shows just to watch.

All this to say that I'm considering releasing my hold on the rescue mini aussie mix and just waiting for a sheltie. My current situation will put me back up to 3 dogs again if I get another dog, when I only wanted 2, so I had the option to get a 3rd down the line. The gap between next dog and next next dog will need to be bigger than I was thinking it might be earlier this year because I can't do 4 dogs. I had been thinking I'd get the rescue "now", and in fewer years than I tend to wait (basically less than 7 yrs), get another dog, likely a sheltie, though possibly a whippet. That order would depend on how agility apt the rescue was. (If rescue was good/stayed sound lmfao, would consider a whippet after that dog since agility feels like less of a sure shot than a sheltie.)

Now that I can only get one more dog until Mud and/or Anza passes away, I think I need to be more picky. :( Mud's mom is pushing 14, so barring any serious health issues, Mud has potential to reach 14. That means I could be waiting 7 years again, if I get another dog next year. And ngl, I have considered blowing it all off until Mud and Anza are decrepit because they're like...a single unit. They are simultaneously easy (they get along well) and difficult because their brain function drops by half when they are together. It's ridiculous.

I'm not going to make a decision quite yet. It sounds like the training videos the rescue is being feature in might be coming out soon, so I'd like to see those before I decline. She may be flipping amazing and I decide to blow off the sheltie.

Another factor is money. I need to replenish my savings that have been depleted over 18 months of being unemployed with minimal art income. I feel like I'd be better off taking a year or so to do that vs taking on a dog at the beginning of the year. (Rescue offered to hold dog as long as needed, which includes years, but I don't want to do that.)

[racetheskies]

intro post!

welcome to this insane spam thing I call my blog! (i'm terrible at introductions but here we go) - IB Diploma Year 2 Student (which means I never sleep) - I made this blog because my friends and family got sick of hearing me brainrot about jjk and somehow we've gotten here - I hyperfixate on something for about a month and then forget it exists so please don't follow me for one thing specifically (i'm looking at you, people who followed me during my 3 month haikyuu hypfx) - I'm an IB student, a music department student council member, section lead for 3 choirs, and a karate athlete of 11 years -- so let's just say i post here when i can but it's not often - I'm incredibly normal irl and if my friends ever find out about this blog you'll know because I'll just say "I'M COOKED" and vanish forever - this blog is very incoherent and i post kinda whatever i'm thinking at the time so pls don't expect it to be aesthetic or cool

fictional bfs! kenma kozume (3.5 yrs together LMFAO) that's literally it i have zero other real fictional crushes

media! jjk, haikyuu, bsd, mha, fairy tail, top gun, star wars, dune, marvel, final fantasy

favs! geto suguru, gojo satoru, nakahara chuuya, kozume kenma, oikawa tooru, nishinoya yuu, gray fullbuster, toshiro hitsugaya, muichiro tokito, ranpo edogawa, bakugo katsuki, kaminari denki, takami keigo/hawks, todoroki touya/dabi, loki laufeyson, cloud strife, sephiroth, aerith gainsborough, tifa lockhart

ships! satosugu, itafushi, soukoku, bakudeku, iwaoi, kagehina, tsukkiyama, ottoge, dabihawks

music! cavetown, mitski, billie eilish, emeline, phoebe bridgers, the amazing devil, the vincent black shadow, hadestown, alice by heart, rihanna, charli xcx, chappell roan, noah kahan, clairo

likes! cats, jewelry, fashion, reading, writing, rain, sleeping, friends, movies, driving, music, singing, dr. pepper, travelling, mochas, fantasy/sci-fi, mystery shows, horror games, youtube

dislikes! hot weather, early mornings (involuntary ones), all-nighters, essay exams, crowds, germs, headaches

[nixx-journal]

im 27 now. yuck im old, im nearly 30 and still in the same room i wa sin at 16. granted im working full time now (3 jobs almost 4 LMFAO)just to get a few bags here and there in unrelated fields, so i can move onto other life projects. im also dating and its nice, but i dont like how it takes time away from other things i need to be focusing on, i hate getting calls to go do xyz to maintain the relationship, when i need to maintain myself. ive been wanting to call it quits since we met almost 2 yrs ago now LMFAO. but i like having ~something~ social to do w someone whos ok at best in terms of getting along with americans.

my relationship w mom is same old same fucking old, but i dont tolerate her bulshit anymore and can function without ackloweding her. this is my 1st journal log since my sister died, and mom sent me to the er; these happened within the same month btw ~2 weeks apart and i hate november even more now. ive accepted shes gone but my still goes wtf do u mean my sister is dead? it weighs heavy on me andi think of her everyday, then conclude my thoughts with how much i hurt her + i didnt know her true struggles + the last few times i saw her and all the red flags, then i return to my present. day in day out like laundry in the wash. its odd. but i want my thoughts of her to be the happy times too, ill have to revisit those moments from childhood since we didnt speak much as a teenager--fucking idiot me. oh well, what can i do now.

im making money and just had that frontal lobe fully develop, so i just work to make money, i dont draw for money anymore/stream but oh do i have dreams that i will. so ill work on that too.

my conclusions: i just keep on keeping on, im more "solid" now in how i approach things and do things inever thought i would --like 1 of my jobs which is hella ez but gross-- and i just remeber its for a bag to move things along. i can make dreams, but only i can make them reality. so build girl. build.

[zot3-flopped]

“The only coaches on there that have ever had a career boost was Adam Levine and Blake in the hey day of the show.” This! The Voice used to average 12M+ every week and every season but it’s been on a decline majorly for a while (prob cause it’s been on way to long) now it averages around 5M BUT that counts for dvr’s which a lot of ppl still have it recording from past seasons even if they don’t watch it still (my parents JUST turned the dev recording for it off about 2 or 3 seasons ago cause they forgot they had it recording)! When a judge use to sing on it their song would shoot the top of iTunes but Niall sung and his song I think went to number 90? That show does not have impact anymore and won’t after this season lol plus most of the demographic are like 50 yr old women lmfao

I really thought Meltdown would get more of a boost from him singing it, but it barely cracked the itunes top 100. People just don't like the song.

[borom1r]

I wlllld just like to hear whatever you want to talk abt regarding lizard! like a fun fact, an aspect of his design you're super passionate abt, stuff like that! as for lawyers: favourite miles moment so far & maybe (if yr feeling up to it) how you see phoenix & miles getting together!! (I'm abt to be high too in like an hour I have edibles bfjejehr I hope you're having fun!!! you can save this ask for later if you want also)

BESTIE i get. drinks from the local vape shop and theyre usually rlly good (the purple lemonade had a weird grassy flavor and i mean duh but it was REALLY noticeable but otherwise. gr8 luck) but the uh. the major problem is they dont have consistent stock EXCEPT the purple lemonade. so i uh. like last time was a super mellow chill high and today was. waaaaaaaaaaaayy more than i was banking on. fully zonked.

ANYWAYS. LIZARD. obvs hes a juggalo (miracles came on shuffle and im so. yea the world IS fuckin beautiful thank u violent j and shaggy 2 dope) uhhh fun facts! his face paint is actually that. face paint. you uh. think abt trying to use greasepaint on fur lol. he is also ACTIVELY DECAYING. for the most part hes holding up alright and nothing would really kill him. he's Undead. but he just. doesnt heal anymore.his eye is scarred bc he was missing it before he died but what his fur conceals is the fact that his arm is just. fully a fresh wound. 2 skin flaps stitched over what boils down to a mushy scab. he literally only stitched it up bc he was Sick of Bleeding everywhere. it's gross. hes gross.

aspect of his design im passionate abt— his CLOTHES!!!!! ofc for his design i used a base but the clothes were modified + ofc colored by me :3 his hoodie is based off this one + his shirt is Also a real shirt!! also ofc his facepaint. idk if i ever posted the mockup of it so here:

anyways like i think i said earlier he'd be more likely to rep Yum Yum Bedlam bc she represents punishment for corrupt desires and he was a lot lizard (which is the reason for his name— he chose it after he died and figured he needed sth a lil more... fitting for a an undead juggalo werewolf lmfao). but on the flip side, he'd be more likely to be judged by Fred Fury since while he was alive he would just roll with the punches and didn't ever really make a stand for himself or fight back. he was much better at laughing things off even if it wasnt sth he really.. should've.

+ NOW. LAWYER TIME~~

favorite Miles momentttttttt

HIS CONSTIPATED LIL SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHGH!!!!! BESTIE IM WRAPPING HIM UP IN A TOWEL LIKE AN UNRULY KITTEN AND TORMENTING HIM WITH AFFECTION. SUFFER. IM MAKING HIM TEA AND LETTING HIM INFODUMP ABT STEEL SAMURAI AND LAW SHIT.

yeeeeeaaaa im feeling up to or at least im on the edge of being super paranoid sooo im just gonna answer lolol. ANYWAYZ.

like weve been talking abt in dms at the start we r dealing with. Miles "so unused to expressing genuine emotion that if i say anything remotely affectionate i will experience all 5 stages of grief simultaneously + flee" Edgeworth and Phoenix "shockingly oblivious for being a defense attorney/investigator, also with the like. worst sense of humor" Wright. Phoenix would need it spelled out to him like like yr teaching a baby how to spell "cat." and alternatively you couldnt pry Miles' real feelings from his cold dead lips. feelings r messy and imperfect after all. it gets so bad Maya starts googling "how to introduce cats to each other" half-jokingly bc between Miles' need for emotional exposure therapy and Nick being. Nick. she's gonna HAVE to coordinate their meal times and slowly let them get used to spending time in the same space for them to ever get anywhere.

part of me is like. Maya HAS to help in some capacity n i think at bare minimum shes EXCELLENT council for Phoenix when he bolts upright at 3am one morning when it hits his unconscious mind like a ton of bricks that the reason hes been having shoujo anime intro ass dreams abt Miles for months is bc he MIGHT be gay. big of heart dumb of ass. YET. on the other hand. 3-Hour Steel Samurai Lore Deep Dive (she nd Miles would be BESTIES. she slow-blinks at him enough to develop a bond. they need to hang out more. HE PAYS HER BAIL!!!!!! mission critical that they drive Phoenix insane Together)

yet at the same time. n what i think is so sweet, is that it just. happens. frustrating 4 everyone that for like. a whole entire fuckin year u could find Phoenix bringing Edgeworth tea, sitting w/ their knees touch while they discuss notes, Phoenix playing w/ Miles' fingers or hair, Miles asleep on Phoenix's shoulder after a long day— and if anyone asks if they’re dating they’ll get a very cheerful "nope haha ^_^" from Phoenix and maybe just a little huff from Miles so LIKE. Phoenix slowly and gently dismantles Miles' walls and could be sitting there holding his hand staring dreamily at him while Miles flips through a book w/ his free hand and inside Phoenix' head is just MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー 10 Hour Loop until again, bolt upright in bed sweating bullets speed dialing Maya's number to as her if she thinks hes gay.

so by the time they label anything Miles already has a toothbrush in Phoenix's apartment and has FORCED him to at LEAST buy a 2+1 shampoo/conditioner with a Separate body wash. please Phoenix he is BEGGING. and then they're dating. and Miles realizes the thing Phoenix has been saying when he does things like. buy a bathroom organizer and everything he needs for his Exact skincare routine as a surprise for when Miles spends the night next time is "i love you" and that he must've loved Miles for a very, very long time even if they are both Oh So Dense (extremely affectionate)

[thalassic-p4rk]

here’s some of mine! ^-^

Peso:

CUNTYYYY ✨✨✨

drag persona is a bitch and im SO here for it <3

12 inch stripper heels

like i said, cunty asf- long deep blood red bodycon dress with a high leg slit. almost velvety type fabric

whole dress is COVERED in black lace

elegant long black gloves

shiny long black hair worn down and flat, kinda like a hair-glue moment

think mafia. wine aunt but evil. a little bit of cruella vibes. totally poisoned her ex husband. hot vampire queen.

the others weren’t quite sure what they expected, but it sure as hell wasn’t this

she walks out there and everyone goes WILD

kwazii is so proud :’)

i also just love the idea of competent BAMF peso

WHICH HE IS BUT LIKE

RRRRRRRRR I JUST LOVE CUNTY PESO SM <333

she needs a name, gimme suggestions! i’m thinking something medical related, maybe smth with blood?

✨Circe la Tory✨ LMAO

Ari Thymia

Aretha Mia

Brady-Kim Storm

Carmine Sangria (just for fun idk)

Art Terry

Anna Rissum

Angie O’Graham

im having way too much fun with this LMFAO

Kwazii:

so i originally had him as a drag king but it just didn’t seem extravagant enough

so then i had him inspired by Scarlett Harlott

but then the one and only @notakoollad (who is insanely talented and funny btw, go follow him) sent the classic fairy kwazii pic

and i was like. oh. what if

✨CUNTY HYPERFEM PIRATE✨

LIKE, PASTEL GOTH PIRATE?⁉️

PASTEL GOTH WITH A TOUCH OF LOLITA FASHION BUT SPECIFICALLY LIKE A “MURDER LOLITA” KINDA WAY⁉️⁉️

like black lace and a vintage feel but with PINK

THIS BUT NO HOOP SKIRT

give me “rawr” 2013 scene punk girlie but add 2020 MPDG and fairycore and then make it PIRATE

pls just let 8 yr old me run wild in justice and that is the vibe im going for.

i have hit the image limit so i’ll be back with a pt 2!!!

the octopod has a drag night. give me your headcanons.