#which i relate to deeply despite being raised catholic

[shredsandpatches]

@ptadadwenkexing put some really good tags on this so I'm gonna stick them in the reblogs for posterity:

I've read a couple of things recently that have pointed out that all RSC productions of Doctor Faustus since like the 1960s have framed the Helen of Troy scene as a depiction of whatever counts as sexually transgressive for the time/place, so Helen has been represented as a beautiful cis woman but, like, with full frontal nudity; a reanimated corpse; an empty wig and dress which get used as props for a wank session; a man in a dress; and a creepily young-looking girl (played by an adult actress) who is then implied to actually just be a real, normal person who gets murdered in a fit of insanity (?)

Anyway I kinda think this is off the mark not so much because ~good taste or whatever (although pretty much any assumptions regarding what actually counts as transgressive or taboo will probably go to some pretty gross places--if Faustus wants to shag a man in a dress, more power to him) but because I'm not sure how well the scene works if it doesn't also seduce the audience (you can pull a reveal on them later if it suits, but I tend to think the arc of the play as a whole works better if we get closer to Faustus over the course of it, rather than further away, and if his ultimate fate feels somehow unjust on a gut level even if we understand the theological reasoning). And while it's common to read Faustus' embrace of Helen as the thing that seals his damnation, I don't think it is, I think looking for one point where it becomes too late for Faustus is misguided and that it only works if it's either always too late or never too late for him. All the tension of the play hinges on that paradox.

That said, depending on how your lead actors play the central relationship and how quickly you escalate the sexual tension, you can always pull the "it was Mephistopheles all along" variant, which is always a crowd-pleaser.

(It's me, I'm the crowd)

[generational-atrophy]

Hello!! Can I request France, England and Germany with a s/o who is demissexual (you know, ace spectrum, need deep conection, takes a long time to want sex etc) and haven't had sex yet and feels very insecure?

(France, England, and Germany X Reader) Demisexual S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N sorry this is shorter its very specific. Anyway happy pride month any queer related requests r gonna get fufilled first for a while!!!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual subjects, but no real discussion.

This is absolutely NO problem for Francis. He is like, the number one boundary respecter. Before he initiates any physical contact, even little things like holding your hand, he asks for your permission. And if you say no, there are no questions asked. He would NEVER ask anything of you that you don’t 100% want.

Once you tell him about your insecurities, he freaks out. His beloved? Feeling bad for doing nothing wrong? No! Not on his watch! Anytime you bring up feeling you missed the time were it was acceptable to have a first time, he’s immediately batting that thought down and insisting that “he’s been around for thousands of years, he knows a little more about acceptable timeframes.” Whenever you feel especially ‘broken,’ he’s there to hold you close and whisper affirming words all night. Your sexuality and your experiences with it say nothing about your character! Feeling safe and comfortable is more important than doing what society expects of you! He loves you no matter what.

He’s totally willing to lay his dignity down on the line to defend you about that too. If someone made fun of you for being a virgin, he is totally willing to shout, “I WAS VIRGIN UNTIL 121 SO IF YOU’RE TEASING ONE OF US, TEASE ME!” which is… embarrassing for the both of you, but it’s better than nothing. Also, anyone trying to say demisexuality is invalid is getting a death glare as he physically moves you away from them.

Arthur has always had problems with that kind of intimacy, so it’s quite a relief to him that you aren’t super into it. He’s perfectly happy with the way things are now, don’t worry. Take as much time as you need.

He might be a little surprised when you tell him you’re a virgin, but he doesn’t judge you at all! No matter how old you are! It doesn’t change how he sees you in the slightest. If anything, it’s a good thing. It means you haven’t been comfortable doing that and haven’t forced yourself to. Which is great! It’s a little embarrassing, but he’s always been quite… promiscuous… and that’s often gotten him into pretty terrible situations. He’s glad you haven’t had to deal with all that.

Despite the fact that he is godawful at communication, he wouldn’t pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. Even if he doesn’t understand, he won’t say anything about it (well, anything more than an “oh. ok!”)

Also, he’s known plenty of people throughout history that barely had sex. It’s totally normal. Anyone saying that demisexuality is a new concept is dead wrong.

Personally, I strongly believe that Ludwig is on the asexual spectrum himself! But regardless of whether that exactly is true, he has no problem with a relationship that lacks that aspect. It’s quite hard for him to get comfortable around anyone, so he’ll need as much time as you do anyway.

Seriously, don’t feel bad about still being a virgin. He was a virgin for a long, long time (longer than you’ve been alive, probably) and his life changed very little because of it. It’s always better to be sure you want something rather than just doing it because of social pressure.

Everyone has their timeline <3 Like, he didn’t learn to read until he was like, 20, but would you hold that against him? No. So don’t feel guilty for not experiencing that yet.

He won’t ask you anything about it either. Only if you come to him first asking for it will he ever initiate anything like that. Holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes satisfies him perfectly. (He was raised Catholic, cut him a break.)

And if anyone tries to invalidate your sexuality, he can always pull the “I’m hundreds of years old and have been experiencing this kind of thing the whole time. You’re just ignorant” card. He’s very happy to!

[transmutationisms]

what do you think of the roys & classism? obviously they are all classist but i think how it manifests is pretty interesting - shiv marries far below her station and seems ever-conscious of it, connor is defensive of willa and in an odd way seems to actually believe that sex workers deserve respect but still relegates willa to a prop in his life, logan is incredibly frustrated with his children & their inability to “act right” & married into nobility precisely to give them a pedigree, which is seemingly rendered useless by their mother’s second marriage (she’s known for marrying people who buy their own furniture!) - and i guess the biggest thing is that logan is right. his children do not know how to act right. none of them are cultured, all of them are power hungry and rude but not in the way rich people are supposed to be rude, everything about them screams new money. logan can’t stand it despite how he resents the pierces for their elitism and the kids don’t seem to aspire to any kind of decorum (they do relentlessly mock the social climbers for misbehaviour). i guess this all makes them come off as kind of pathetic. they can’t compete with more refined attitudes (the pierces), they lack european flair (mom’s wedding!), and they still get defeated by money so new you can smell the ink on it because they’re the children of a barbarian king that haven’t learned how to manage wealth the way like, actual nobility would (thus defeated by mattson and his nasdaq master race of vikings). i guess what i’m asking is how the roy’s position of new money is portrayed(?) in the story / how this affects them / what you think!

also do you hate tom? i hate tom.

ok, i think there are a couple different (overlapping) phenomena you're identifying here. one is the old money vs new money thing, which is more a matter of cultural capital than economic class. logan is absolutely insecure about this, eg he's still mad pierce ran that story calling him lowbrow, and he's clearly so embarrassed of his kids in 'tern haven' in particular, when they're contrasted to the old-money pierces. there's also the décor in his apartment, which is the closest the roys ever get to that old-money aesthetic; none of the kids know how to speak that aesthetic language, and obviously it's doubtful logan did any of his own decorating lol.

then there's the general sort of 'man out of time' quality that waystar and the roys have. some of this emanates top-down from logan's own insanity. like, his ideals of masculinity are this hodge-podge of american bourgeois productivity (modern), catholic dualism and body disgust (medieval), and the military (aesthetically a combination of ancient, modern, and early modern). imo this type of anachronism is what's going on with connor and willa—like, if connor lived in paris in 1730 he could just be a financier and have a kept woman, and there would be an established social script for that. but instead he's stuck in 2020 which means he has to use the wrong social form lol. also he like, doesn't think about willa's needs as separate from his own desires obviously, but imo that's more about his view of women and the family than sex work.

the third thing is their like, biological degeneration fears, which again are part of logan's worldview. he's basically a 'social darwinist' (spencerian i would say), which plays into how he wanted to find a 'good bloodline' for his younger three kids and how he worries about his sons being weak and soft and gay and not producing suitable heirs. obviously this is also related to the 'nasdaq master race' situation: it's this fear of like, nordic social and biological improvement, contrasted to a declining american empire. logan's specific degeneration fears about his kids are, i would say, deeply related to his belief that raising them with money made them soft and weak. basically a version of the degenerate idle bourgeois. so, the relationship to class here is complicated.

and then finally there is the actual classism. some of this is more or less what we would expect from billionaires (like roman and tom fucking with that kid in the pilot, or the ways the roys ignore or sometimes lash out at their domestic help / assistants). but there are some specific ways it plays out, like shiv thinking poor people are dirty (the 19th century social hygienist jumped out) and connor having, like, almost a fetishistic envy of (his rosy view of) true american working-class masculinity, hence his ranch situation or how he talks about the bar on his wedding eve. like, connor sees poor people as having more access to various kinds of experiential authenticity that he can't have, even though he's also the roy most capable of actually enjoying the material benefits of wealth.

i think this all adds up to a really potent stew of like, yeah the roys are wealthy and powerful and materially protected but they're also sad and lonely and pathetic lmao. like, they have varying levels of modernity anxiety despite being modern bourgeois, they're running a corporate empire that postures as a noble dynasty, they're wealthy but never fully accepted into the cultural élite. it's all hollow and soulless and unsatisfying, hence the glass-and-steel aesthetic of the waystar building and their horrible boring clothes. this is all part of how the show explores bourgeois alienation without falling into the trap of either softening the roys' repugnant qualities, or portraying their wealth as aspirational.

also in re: yr addendum no wkjdkwj i don't hate tom. i don't hate any succession character, except comfrey on the grounds of being totally superfluous and poorly written.

[imariejoyce]

Does it make you a bad person if you don't have any religion?

This topic is always somewhat sensitive, but I just want to share what are my thoughts about this.

In my early years, I was raised by my parents, who are deeply spiritual Catholic Filipinos. I grew accustomed to the idea of spending Sundays attending church, listening to the priest’s gospel and homily, and reflecting on them. We lived in a small provincial town where this kind of routine was quite typical.

During Holy Week when I was little, I looked forward to the annual procession in our town. It was a nice experience to see the wooden sculpture of the images of saints and the Holy Family showing the stories of the bible and with other devotees while holding their candles as they participated in the procession. I found it beautiful to witness people praying solemnly and expressing their faith through their devotions. I still remember when we were kids; our parents would lift us up or let us sit on their shoulders so we could better see the crowd and watch the procession, which represents various Biblical events related to Holy Week.

I also attended a Catholic school during high school, which I would describe as quite conservative. Each month, every class had a designated day for attending a morning mass. In October, there was a special rosary month where some students participated in a living rosary, forming a large circle in the school's covered court while everyone prayed the rosary together. Reflecting on those times still brings a sense of nostalgia.

When I went to college, I moved to Manila to attend university. Transitioning from a provincial town to the bustling city of Manila was quite a shift. While studying, I met many people, and occasionally, they would invite me to join their religious services. Out of curiosity, I often took the opportunity to participate, especially when I had some free time. I even had a board mate who was actively involved in a campus ministry. In short, I ended up attending various religious services whenever friends invited me during my free time.

As time passes, you encounter different types of people, beliefs, and ways of expressing faith. When I moved to Europe, my perspective on this became more practical. Through my experiences, I realized that not all religious individuals who are actively involved in church are necessarily the kindest or most compassionate. I recall attending a service here where, despite my efforts to avoid gossip (what we call "marites" in the Philippines), I overheard people discussing others' lives after the service. Some were sharing opinions based only on one side of the story. I understand that this kind of behavior isn't limited to churches; it can happen anywhere. There are also stories of infidelity and individuals who leave their families behind, starting new lives abroad without supporting their children. That sounds really frustrating. It’s tough when people don’t live up to the values they claim to uphold, especially in a community where trust and integrity are important. It’s disheartening to see people undermine their own good intentions with actions that contradict their words. Experiencing these situations can be challenging, especially if you feel caught between confronting the behavior and maintaining your own peace.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that religion often serves as a label that separates people based on their beliefs. Attending church regularly doesn’t necessarily make someone the kindest or purest person. What truly matters is doing good and being kind to others. The essential thing is to act with empathy and respect, considering how your actions affect those around you and treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Honestly, I've become less involved with church services due to various experiences I've had. I believe that as long as I'm not harming others, I'm still on the right path. Some may believe I’m saying this because it’s convenient for me, but it’s not about convenience. It’s about the freedom to pursue what brings you happiness and enjoy what life has to offer, as long as it doesn’t harm others. To answer the question in the title, "Does it make you a bad person if you don't have any religion?" I don’t think so. I know many people who don’t practice any religion but are actively involved in helping others. In fact, they can often be more reliable than those you might expect to be there for you during tough times. I understand that assessing kindness isn't confined to a single approach, same as labeling someone as kind shouldn't be solely based on their level of spirituality.

[kytedevlin]

Lineage and Personal History Vs Current Events

So turns out that if what was said in my genealogical makeup was true, im from a place in africa where the primary religion is islam, being raised a christian is a little bit daunting, i know the history of slavery, but not my own personal history with it. I know my family members deeply embedded in the church and others who are more catholic leaning, but there are no jewish or islamic members of my family. Despite this fact, the current events throughout my entire life have been islamophobic, and the fact that my family doesn't really comment on other religions while the overall outside pressure of the world leans towards those being within my proximity being islamophobic or not at all related to any jewish culture. Has me worried. Nearby where I was heralded from after and during world war 2 was the port of goree, which was used as a main port for slavery and the slave trade. It is possible that the nazi regime used my place of origin or at the very least made its way there. There is plenty of occupation in africa, so its not a surprise as the motherland and the "fatherland" have a deeply imbedded history with each other. But not just them, plenty of other nations as well have occupied africa with very few reprocussions. The native language in that region is french, a language im not familiar with, and i know no family members who speak it. Though I am aware i do have a cajun lineage. As well as a deep south lineage. So these coexisting factors and the state of the world only lead me to one conclusion. There is no home to return to in Africa, and nothing has stopped. At best I can only contribute to the further torment, murder and abuse of people who have had or will have the same livelihood as myself. The Life of a Mandingo. That said im sure where i came from is a beautiful place, that is full of opportunities for growth as well as amenities that are not available to me where i currently reside. And I could only one day hope to visit, make a life, and prosper there. But that may not be in the cards for me. Fun Fact, one of the prime members of the abolitionist party for that part of africa was surnamed Whydjah. Sounds familiar right, Like a Ouija board. Africa is always funny like that.

[arcsoffaith22reflection]

MICHAELA ANGELA OBAFIAL

Monotheistic Religions

Learning about the monotheistic religions, particularly Judaism, Christianity and Islam was an insightful experience. During this period, I managed to distinguish the three religions as well as how they are related to each other. From their origins, Gods, practices and beliefs.

Judaism was the first religion that was introduced to us and I can say that it is a good religion to begin with since Judaism is the world’s oldest monotheistic religion. It may not be the oldest compared to all religions in the world but talking about Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, Judaism is the oldest. Christianity being the second religion to be tackled, it was a nice sequence in all honesty because it intrigued me how the overlapping history of Judaism and Christianity was slowly being uncovered during the lessons. Being raised in a Catholic family, my prior knowledge about religion was tested to its limits during discussions. I was delighted because how I was educated more about the religion I belong to. I always thought I know a lot about Catholicism or Christianity in general but I was captivated by the new learnings and wisdom I acquired from the lesson. Finally, Islam. I must admit that Islam was the religion I was deeply intrigued to tackle because I remembered having so many Islam friends and acquaintances and I would always get culture shocked by how restricted and strict their practices are. Through the lesson about Islam, I managed to understand how profound their culture was. The number of restrictions that they had to follow was astounding, such as their dietary practice, conservative clothes, the time they should allot for praying, and many more. I can consider Islam as one of the most resonant yet mesmerizing religion. 

Eastern Religions

Hinduism was probaby the longest religion we’ve ever tackled but there is not a single moment I’ve felt ennui during the discussion. Learning about their basic beliefs that is contained in the Vedas or the earliest Indian texts that consist of religious rituals, hymns, or potery. Some of the most notable parts of their religion I can recall was their beliefs. Hindus hold to the concepts of karma and samsara, or the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. Hinduism places a high value on the concept of "atman," or the existence of a soul. According to this school of thought, every living thing is a part of the supreme soul and has a soul of its own. The end goal is "moksha," or salvation, which puts an end to the cycle of rebirths and makes one a permanent member of the absolute soul.

Buddhism has one of the most philosophical religion. Tackling its brief history was one of the best experiences that I acquired for how broad the religion is. My favorite part about learnning this religion is the life of Siddhartha Gautama or the Buddha, one of the most prominent Gods known. Apparently, Having been protected from the outside world, entertained by dancing girls, and trained in archery, swordsmanship, wrestling, swimming, and running, Gautama grew up in the comfort of a prince. Even with his wife and son by his side, he was able to lead a wonderful life. Despite leading a privileged life, he was filled with a sense of longing. Once he began to wander the streets, he came face to face with reality: dying people, the elderly, and corpses. Nothing in his carefree life had adequately prepared him for this situation. He was unable to sleep after learning that everyone is susceptible to illness, aging, and death from his charioteer. A wandering ascetic carrying a single bowl and walking peacefully along the road while donning the robe of a sadhu caught his attention as he made his way back to the palace. One thing I learned from him is that being privileged is more than a blessing, it’s something that people would die and kill for because outside a luxorious life, there lies a life of suffering hell. 

Daoism or Taoism on the other hand was the religion I had prior knowledge about in Eastern Religions. The core teachings and the fundamental beliefs that I know from this religion was furtherly impowered during the discussion. Daoism's fundamental tenet is that all existence and manifestation are a part of an interconnected organic unity that arises from a profound, enigmatic, and essentially unfathomable source known as the Tao itself. Taoism holds that there are a set of unchanging natural laws that govern the Universe and all of its manifestations. These laws are understandable to humans, who can also develop a sensitivity to them. We can develop a global viewpoint and live in harmony with the Tao if we align ourselves with these principles.

Confucianism however was focused on the life of Confucius that is somehow filled with life philosophies and wisdom. Just like when confusian thinkers imbued their wisdom about life, how a good life and happiness are related in that the latter is a vitally essential element of the former. However, moral restraints must be applied to happiness, whether it be measured in terms of pleasure, the fulfillment of a desire, or a list of goods. A philosopher and teacher, Confucius. His disciples recorded his ideas on morality, decency, and ethics in a number of books, the most significant of which is the Lunyu. Confucianism emphasizes human-centered virtues for peaceful living as well as ancestor worship. His teachings were primarily focused on virtue and righteous principles, just as he tries to preach in his Confucian golden rule, "Do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you."

[murswrites]

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen ⎯  Matt Murdock One-Shot

Pairings: Matt Murdock x Reader Fandom: Marvel MASTERLIST Word Count: ~ 1,300 Warnings: Cursing, blood/gore, mentions of fighting, arguing, mini-fluff SUMMARY: You hate how you love Matthew.

Fluff #16: “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before.”

A/N This was supposed to be a fluffy mess but I’m an asshole and can’t help but overanalyse my favorite broken emo boys

Nothing about being in Matt Murdock’s orbit was easy. He was a very difficult person to love–even liking him was hard. Sometimes he’d be just so painfully insufferable that you couldn’t help but push him away for being such a dick.

He pushes away anyone who cares and then comes crawling when he’s injured. It’s a fucked up circle of love, pain, and fighting. Because you can’t help but let him back in, it’s Matt–how can you tell him to fuck off when he has a dislocated shoulder?

The guilt of sending him away would be much worse than the harsh words he uses as an excuse. 

“I can’t just come back like nothing’s happened,”

He would say; a lie. Matt was known for his amazing skill at deceit. The way he could come up with the most mundane lies was insane. (most of which related back to his disability)

“Oh, I walked into the counter and then bashed my hand on the doorknob.”

It’s not like you or Foggy could refute and argue with Matt. That’d be a shitty thing to do.

But even with all of that horrible shit, you still loved him so much. He did look so pretty when he was sad. It was sick of you to think that but you’d seen every emotion on his face.

You’d told him how expressive he was and he didn’t believe you. 

“If only you could see the scowl on your face right now.”

It was funny. Matt could never hold himself inside. That’s why you understood the devil–but you didn’t let him use that as an excuse. 

“Therapy does exist, you know.”

Then he’d say something along the lines of him being Catholic and only ever needed God, even if he constantly spat on God’s name. If Matthew Murdock was anything, he was the most contradictory person to ever live.

A devoted Catholic who curses God’s name, a blind lawyer by day but vigilante by night, deeply emotional but ignores himself until he explodes.

The complexity of him validating his clearly illegal acts with excuses (and shitty ones at that) versus him refusing to let the law bend a man to its will… it gave you whiplash. Because one day Matt could be complaining about how unfair and unjust the court is but then the next, he could be tapping on your window–covered in blood; begging for help.

He was so infuriating but whenever you were in the same room as him it was like Matthew Murdock was the sun personified. With a smile like that and a mind as keen… it was hard not to love him despite his major flaws.

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before.” His voice startled you, the apartment had been silent except for the sounds of you bandaging his wounds.

Matt came to you with what looked to be a stab wound. You berated him for pulling whatever stabbed him out. He claimed that he couldn’t have left it in there because it would have only caused more problems if it snagged on anything.

“I think the knife snagging on your enemy would hurt less than this blood loss will, you jackass.”

He turned as red as his old Daredevil suit.

There was sadness in his tone, like he felt bad for admitting it. You’d already told him you loved him–albeit it was during an argument because he was so annoying–so the melancholy in his voice startled you. You gave him a peculiar look, pausing in your stitching of his wound.

He cringed at the sudden stop, stitching wasn’t something you just stopped doing. You busied yourself again.

“Why do you say that like you’re sad about it?”

Matt clenched his fists, “Because I feel bad for you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him before looking back down at your stitches. “Why would you–”

“Because you feel guilty because of me.”

His admission made heat grow in your cheeks, you hated how he could hear your reactions without you even trying. If your breath caught or your heart sped up, he’d know. It was hard being so naked around him all of the time.

“That’s my own problem, Matt.” You ripped open a gauze pad and began taping it down.

He tilted his head and you pushed down a groan–the asshole was listening to you. “Please stop doing that.” You pushed the tape down harder than you needed to.

The hiss he let out was loud as his eyes rolled up toward the ceiling. “That was mean.”

“Yea, well so are you.” You pulled the gloves off with a snap and tossed the clear band-aid at him, “I’ll assume you can do that yourself?” You knew it was childish but he pissed you off, saying that while you literally bandaged another injury at the hands of Daredevil? Fuck that.

The look on his face said it all, he felt bad but you just ignored him and cleaned up the mess of medical supplies. The silence in your apartment was less comfortable. It was like someone turned the tension in the air into a rubber band and was pulling it back with each passing second. You hated arguing with him but he made you so angry.

You stood in the doorway, watching him slowly pull his black skin-tight shirt on. “You better not be going back out there, Murdock.”

“Who else is gonna protect Hell’s Kitchen?”

“That’s a stupid ass question, Matt and you know that. Nobody expects you to kill yourself for a city that doesn’t give a shit about you–except you.”

Matt turned around, forcing you to look at the back of his head. “I have a duty, Y/N.”

You laughed sarcastically, “You’re a guy, Matthew, your only duty is to fucking live!”

“What if I don’t wanna do that?! What if I’m meant for more!? Huh!?” He was matching your energy but it only angered you more.

“God! I hate your fake righteousness! Stop hiding behind your excuses and admit that you like hurting everyone around you!” You felt the tears coming, “All you’re gonna do is leave and then come crawling back when you’re too injured to sew yourself up. And I can’t keep doing this, Matt. If you don’t set boundaries between you and the devil, then I’m done.”

Anyone would be able to see how he visibly paled at your threat.

“You don’t mean that.” He was quiet now, probably fucking listening to your heart.

“I do mean it, it’s fucking exhausting loving you.” You wiped your nose and stared at the floor. “I mean it, Matt. So make up your mind.”

“Don’t make me choose between you and him.”

You shook your head, “I’m not. I’m just asking that you be realistic. I don’t care you go out at night and help the city, it’s kinda cool. But when you tell me to stop caring about you and then barge back in with an actual fucking stab wound–then yea! I give a shit about you literally killing yourself.”

He fell silent, only nodding at you. “Okay.” Matt’s response didn’t really make any sense until he hugged you lightly, “Okay.” He said again.

You were confused but couldn’t help but hug him back, “Okay.” Maybe like in that silly teen novel, ‘okay’ was your ‘I love you’. Because the actual word hung in the back of your throat like the unshed tears on your eyes. It was so hard to love the devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

@musicallisto

@imaginesbymk

@sinfulshelbys

@peak-a-blinder

@smallheathgangsters

@anthonysharmaa​

@irishwhiskeys

@sleepypeaky

@vostokovasmelina

@amysteryspot

@myriadimagines

@bonniesgoldengirl

@retromafia

@starkeysslut

[rahleeyah]

Hi Leah 💜 this is something I've been pondering for a while and I would def be interested to get your take. It seems like, both within canon and within the fandom, it is pretty much accepted that Elliot needed to make the choices he made *for his family* and that remaining in (and returning to) his marriage to kathy, even if he loved Olivia, was what cemented his status as a family man. It's odd to me because svu, while it def has its flaws, has been relatively progressive on social issues, yet it really pushes this "stay together for the kids" dynamic despite the fact that that's really going out of vogue in the progressive mainstream. I understand Elliot would absorb this from his catholic upbringing, but Olivia going along with it (especially in a lot of fanon) is so odd to me, especially given that the ultimate expression of elliots devotion to his family was...leaving the majority of hus children behind to raise the fifth abroad. Thoughts?

y'all really making me use the old thinker today huh lmao

ok so here's the thing, right, is that i think there's a big difference between the morals the show tries to preach, and the individual choices each of the characters make. characters should be messy, and at times at odds with the values of the show overall, bc they're supposed to be people.

the show is progressive on moral issues. so why elliot's insistence on staying together for the kids?

well, first up, i don't think he was trying to stay in that marriage for the kids. it's kathy who left him. they didn't come to an understanding, he isn't written as having been unhappy with her; she was unhappy with him, and she left. i think he internalized it as his fault. and he clearly did not want to be divorced, initially; if we look at the way he reacts in the immediate aftermath of the separation in doubt, if we look at his behavior in burned, where elliot finally signs the papers, the way he relates to the man cut out of his family, the way he talks of love, i think it paints a picture of man who doesn't just think he ought to have stayed in a marriage he didn't want for his kids. i think it paints a picture of a man who wanted that marriage, who is grieving for the loss of that marriage.

he and kathy got married at seventeen, said their vows - which matter deeply to elliot, as a catholic - and stayed together for a long long time. she was a central facet of his life. kathy was important to him. they start talking about him moving back home before he sleeps with her in annihilated; he signed the divorce papers for her but he's having drinks with her, basically dating his own wife, and talking about coming home, and it never felt, to me, like he was only doing it for the kids. it never felt like he was suffering through these attempts to correct things bc being with the kids was what mattered; he wanted Kathy. he goes to check on the kids in annihilated and kathy invites him to stay and he jumps at the chance; the kids are asleep. he wanted to fuck his wife.

now in screwed it looks like he's about to tell kathy that he doesn't think they should get back together, but then she drops her bombshell and he goes home. that, to me, is the ultimate expression of his devotion to his family; it appeared he had finally decided to let go, but bc kathy could not raise the kids they already had and a baby on her own, he goes home to help her. she asks him to come home for her. and he does. he sees what she needs from him, he thinks of what the new baby will need from him, and he sacrifices his own desires for that.

now, as to why olivia fights so hard to sustain that family unit, when olivia is a pretty fundamentally progressive woman, i think we have to remember that liv has a pretty fucked up relationship with the concept of family.

she told elliot all her life, all she ever wanted was to be part of a family. she cares for him, deeply, but from the moment they met he was a devoted husband and father. a good husband and father. olivia didn't grow up with a dad, didn't grow up with a family, and she wanted it, and here's elliot, proving that those things she wants are real. that the dream she's carried for so long can come true, just not for her. family is for other people. in the last episode we heard lindstrom remind her that olivia herself believes happiness isn't in the cards for her, and so i think it's no real stretch to believe that she fought so hard for elliot's family because she never thought she'd have one of her own. someone out there deserved to have a family. those kids, they deserved to have a father. elliot, he deserved to be loved, to be happy, and she associates family with happiness and love. therefore, she's not gonna do anything to fuck up his family; she's gonna try like hell to preserve it, at her own expense. because she loves him, she wants his family to be whole.

would he have been the man she loves, if he was not selfless when it came to his family? would she have loved him, if he turned aside from them for her sake, if he didn't put them first? i don't think so.

and i don't think his family is the only, or even the main, reason why he chose to leave.

elliot had just killed a child. he's got a daughter around her age. there is no universe in which that does not haunt him, and that is not like the other times he was forced to kill someone in the line of duty; he felt responsible to Jenna, he felt he should have protected her, and he felt like he let her down, and he killed her. that alone is sufficient cause, in my mind, for him not to come back; that he no longer trusts himself to do this work, that he cannot continue to hurt and be hurt by this job. add in the hoops IAB was gonna make him go through, and it becomes untenable. His pension was on the line; with five kids - now the oldest two are probably done with college at that point, or close to it, but the twins would have been getting in the early days of college and Eli would have been a toddler - to look after, and a wife who depends on him, when Elliot has probably spent his whole adult life thinking he and Kathy were gonna rely on his pension for their retirement, losing that would have been devastating. that's a major threat to his family's future, but to his own future, too. so i don't think that was all about the family. and i believe what he told olivia in rotps; that he did not speak to her bc he knew she would change his mind. i don't see that as him sacrificing a possible future with her for the sake of his family, though; i see that as him having decided he can no longer continue down this path, and being afraid of what would happen to him if he went back, and knowing he'd go back for her. not even if she asked him to; just if he heard her voice. she means so much to him, he thinks he'd destroy himself just to be near her.

[utilitycaster]

as a fellow member of the tribe lol i think jewish caleb hc get a bit uncomfy given the zemnian = d&d german connection and liam explicitly stating that he took a lot of inspiration from the german student resistance to the nazis. i dont think itd be fair to matt/liam to call the volstruckers d&d nazis but when you start throwing jewish hc in there it gets a bit awkward

So the OP of that post is Jewish, I believe, and iirc Liam actually said that he explicitly tried to distance from the Nazis specifically because he was doing a character with a German accent [which, and this came up as a fandom discussion relatively early in the campaign, is itself complicated; growing up as an American-born Jewish person in an Ashkenazi synagogue, the first German accents I heard were primarily from survivors, and I happen to have a very German-sounding last name for a combination of Yiddish/Ellis Island name change reasons despite being of more eastern European Jewish descent]. I believe he stated the inspiration was more from the KGB (though there are definitely some parallels with Nazis, particularly the Vollstrucker final exam). So that’s actually not what made me say “this doesn’t make sense!” I fully get if other Jewish people are somewhat uncomfortable, but based on how the Empire and specifically the Vollstruckers act I actually agree that a Cold War secret police model (KGB/Stasi) seems much more in line with the depiction in the show.

Jewish headcanons make me kind of uncomfortable in fantasy media not set in the real world because of a couple of reasons I’ve stated before. The main one is that Judaism is an explicitly monotheistic religion; it flat out does not make sense in a world that canonically has multiple, objectively real gods. It makes sense in a setting like the Unsleeping City, which is modern day NYC except there’s magic (and the only cleric is really more a cleric of a concept than a god) and I think that was fairly well-done representation, but in Exandria it’s the same idea as having an atheist - a monotheist in this world is just an idiot. So you end up with cultural markers, and there are plenty of people irl who are culturally but not religiously Jewish, which is entirely valid - but those people exist within a backdrop of Judaism being an ethnoreligion and the culture comes from that, and if you take away the religion you cannot really have the rest of it make sense. At this point I should note I’m probably thinking about this more than anyone asked, but I’ve never had a taste for headcanons that aren’t consistent with the worldbuilding because the worldbuilding is the framework on which I build everything else.

Culturally speaking though Caleb just doesn’t strike me as having a Jewish approach to things! I think it’s an older post - it just crossed my dash so I’d have to check to see where it lined up with the main campaign - but Caleb talks about being irredeemable and damned in a way that strikes me as, especially if you get into the meta-narrative of the actor not being Jewish, very culturally Christian. I have a lot of thoughts that probably belong on a different post but I find a lot of the discussion on redemption arcs in fandom to be super culturally Christian, too, which is fair! I think someone raised Catholic is going to feel very differently about the concept of redemption than I do. I see it as a very positive term that is highly subjective, and a process, not a binary state, but I also think that my view of it is influenced by my religious and cultural upbringing.

Meanwhile I do actually think a case can be made for Jester’s morality to fit Jewish philosophy - that she tends to judge people on their current actions rather than any general ideology, for example - but I have to say I don’t get how tieflings are supposed to be Jewish-coded in Exandria, at all, unless we are either dipping into some pretty unfortunate stereotypes; tieflings are pretty heavily based on like, the mythology of hell and devils, which is explicitly very Christian.

I guess while I’m explaining myself, I’ve found Caduceus’s arc, of someone raised within a small minority tradition, who is still deeply connected to it but is starting to question quite how he fits in, to be very resonant with me - I was raised moderately religious and became less so as an adult, but still find a lot of meaning in some religious rituals. I also find the Wildmother approach to death and dying to be much more in line with Jewish traditions (specifically simple burial, “you are dust and to dust you shall return” as a neutral or positive concept, and an emphasis on the people left behind by death vs. the dead person) than the Raven Queen who always struck me as having a view of death I just could not connect with on any sort of philosophical level. Like, again, I don’t headcanon Jewish characters in traditional D&D settings; it always kind of feels awkward and token-ish, but Caduceus has by far been the character I could relate to the most in terms of religion.

I suspect OP was just having fun with a modern AU or something though; I just found the part about Caduceus so weird because I had the exact opposite feeling that I had to comment.

[serpentstole]

Luciferian Challenge: Day 18

What “virtue” or “quality” do you think is best representing of a Luciferian?

Self awareness and reflection. During this challenge I’ve spoken a few times on issues I have with Luciferians or those with a similar religious leaning... specifically, that they often fall into the same pitfalls we tend to criticize in other religious communities.

I also think for any of us with even the smallest online presence, and thus a performative aspect of our religious practice, it’s deeply important to examine our genuine beliefs, admit when we’re wrong, be open to change, and try to express the best of what we think this religion or mindset can be.

All this is why I chose to do this challenge, to be fully honest. I wanted a record of my thoughts, in this moment, about my religion now that I’ve grown more comfortable and confident in it… and now that I’ve gotten enough engagement in this blog that how I present my ideas is a bigger worry than it was when I had basically no audience. I hate the idea of being seen as a teacher or authority when I still believe myself to be at the beginning of my religious journey and understanding, but I think having any degree of online readership demands a certain mindfulness in how you phrase or present your ideas, and which of them you share, if you want to be responsible with it.

So I strive to be sincere and genuine in what interests me and what I’m capable of, despite the fact that leaning in to certain trends or aesthetics might make me more “successful” when it comes to engagement... which would in the process defeat the original purpose of me having this blog at all. I try to have my opinions fully and reasonably formed as possible, but be open to be proven wrong and admit when it happens as best I can, as happened recently with some gripes I had about citations in occult books. And most of all I strive not to perpetuate the attitudes I think are harmful to our community and how it interacts with the wider world, and recognize when misinformed biases I’ve picked up over the years are rearing their ugly head.

That’s all I have to say about that, so here’s a bonus prompt that feels related enough to include. 

Has Luciferian/Satanism challenged your political beliefs or certain values that you have had before?

This one’s a bit complicated. My knee jerk reaction is to say no. While I’ve been trending further and further to the left since my days of being in a Christian household, I think this is far more to do with me no longer being a literal child than it does my religious label. I can say with confidence that I would be just as much of a leftist and just as big an advocate for empathy and the betterment of oneself and one’s community if I had instead become Catholic, Jewish, Agnostic, remained Wiccan, or anything else in between. It has never been my political or ethical views that have barred me from pursuing these religions or others instead of Luciferianism, and I know people within those religions who share my general views on the world.

I think, however, that my time as a Luciferian has given me a deeper appreciation for other religions. When I grew away from Christianity, I’d say I was religiously apathetic. I understood that there was good and bad in almost any community, that religious discrimination exists and was bad, that some religions are very misrepresented… but all that to me kind of feels like the bare minimum, to the point where I struggle to empathize with or understand the mindset of people that are so ignorant or radicalized that they can’t come to grips with that.  

It was as I researched religious history, and followed more and more blogs written by occultists from different backgrounds, that I began to really fall in love with religion as a concept and everything it can be. It has become one of my favourite subjects to discuss with people who are comfortable having those kinds of conversations.

It also drove home once and for all that they are horrifically bad actors within basically every religious label I can think of, and what changed was the form that abuse or hostility took and how much institutionalized support they had.

There are blogs I follow that are non-occultist/mystic Christians (mostly Catholic or non-denominational) that are just them exploring their faith and how it impacts their life, and I wish them well in those efforts, and I find it interesting and touching to see their thought process and emotional journey even if it’s down a path that’s very different to my own. I’m deeply curious about the experiences of Dual Faith practitioners, because they sort of bridge that gap in a way I know I can’t. I like hearing the views of people raised with a different religious background, or with different folk practices... I just really value experiences and perspectives other than my own, and especially with religion and related traditions.

While it’s my personal curiosity and desire to better myself and my understanding of things that probably led to this interest or value, it’s those same traits that are very centric to my Luciferianism. For that reason, I think it’s fair to say that my Luciferianism challenged me to maintain an open mind even when it’s easier not to, as twee as that sounds. 

[somnilogical]

davis tower kingsley (listed here on the cfar instructor page) who harassed a cis woman about her appearance another cis women reported this to acdc (the people who wrote the thing about how brent was great) and afaict they did nothing, claims that if trans people and gay people dont "repent and submit to the pope" they will burn in hell, defended the spanish inquisitions, wrote about how the mission system werent actually abductions, slavery, forced conversions and this was propaganda, defends pretty much any atrocity that an authority, "believes" the catholic god exists and does not try and destroy them, submits to them. and so much more.

born into another era they would actually work for the california mission system and say it was good.

said thing that cached out to that emma and somni should repent and submit to the rationalist community. wrote up a rant about "how about fuck you. go lick the boots of your dark mistress anna salamon." didnt send. got kicked by some rationalist, reasoning is probably that what id say would disrupt their peaceful machinations of omnicide, would be infohazards, because... the information is hazardous to their social order.

a few of these things are subjects of future blog posts.

--

cfar has never hired a trans woman, i have lots of logs of them trying to do what people did to porpentine. claiming emma thinks torturing children is hot, claiming emma was physically violent, claiming emma was indistinguishable from a rapist, claiming ziz was a "gross uncle style abuser", claiming somni was enticing people to rape, claiming that anna salamon was a small fragile woman and ziz was large and had muscles. as if any of our strength or speed had anything to do with our muscles in this place. all of these things are false except relative size difference between ziz and anna which is just transmisogynistic and irrelevant.

if they lie about are algorithms claim that we are using male-typical strategies and then they can fail by these lies and be sidelined by callout posts that transfered 350,000$ from miri despite their best efforts to cover this up. (all benefited by having relative political advantagr flowing from estrogenized brain modules. men are kind of npc's in this particular game of fem v fem cyberontological warfare for the fate of the multiverse, mostly making false patriarchal assumptions that ziz was doing things for social status. like status sensitivity is hormonally mediated, your experiences are not universal. or saying like kingsley is saying that people should repent and submit to whatever authorities in the rationalist region they submit to. NO. FUCK YOU. i will not repent and submit to your abusive dark mistress anna salamon.

i knew anna salamon was doing the edgy "transfems are all secretly male" thing before i talked with ziz. it was a thing, {zack, carrie}, ben hoffman, michael vassar were also in on it. ppl had men trapped in mens bodies on their bookshelves because the cool people were reading it. didnt think she was being *transmisogynistic* about it until i talked with ziz. in retrospect i was naive.)

also? anarchistic coordination ive had with people have been variously called lex's cluster, somni's cluster, ziz's cluster by authoritarians who cant imagine power structures between people that arent hierarchical. like based on who they want to say is "infohazardously corrupting people" emma goldman had to deal with this shit too where the cops tried to say she was friends with anyone who thought anarchism made sense. people she didnt know at all who did their own anarchism. because authoritarians dont think in terms of philosophy, they think any challenge to their power is a disease that needs to be eliminated and you just need to doxx their network.

like if ziz and somni and emma were all actually infohazardous rapists as people keep trying to claim we are and then saying "oh no i didnt mean it i swear" and then doing it again. what would happen isnt that a bunch of infohazardous rapists start talking and working together for a common goal. what actually happens with people of that neurotype is they partition up the territory into rival areas of feeding on people like gangs do.

like they dont get together and start talking a lot about decision theory and cooperate in strange new ways.

not that the people lying about emma, ziz, gwen, somni and others are trying to have accurate beliefs. they are trying what all athoritarians try with anarchist groups. unfortunately for them, ive read the meta, i know dread secrets of psychology and cooperation that they claim are like painful static and incomprehensible, yet despite being "incomprehensible" are almost certainly harmful. if harm is to be judged against upholding the current regime, and the current regime is evil, then lots of true information and good things will look harmful. like ive tested this out in different social spheres what people claim is "incomprehensible" is the stuff that destroys whatever regime they are working in. like someone said i sounded like i was crazy and homeless and couldnt understand me when i pointed out that reorienting your life, your time, your money, to a human who happens to be genetically related to you for 16 years is altruistic insanity. just do the math. eliezer, anna, michael, brian tomasik all once took heroic responsibility for the world at some point in their lives and could do a simple calculation and make the right choice. none of them have children.

pretending that peoples "desires" "control them", when "desires" are part of the boundary of the brain, part of the brains agency and are contingent on what you expect to get out of things. like before stabbing myself with a piece of metal would make me feel nauseated, id see black dots, and feel faint. but after i processed that stabbing myself would cure brain damage and make me more functional, all this disappeared.

most people who "want" to have children have this desire downstream of a belief that someone else will take heroic responsibility for the world, they dont need to optimize as much. there are other competent people. if they didnt they would feel differently and make different choices.

you can see the contingency of how people feel about something on what they get out of it lots of places. like:

<<Meanwhile, a Ngandu woman confessed, "after losing so many infants I lost courage to have sex.">>

but people lie about how motivation works, in order to protect the territory of saying "well i just need a steady input of nubile fems so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" or "i just need spend 16 years of life reorienting around humans who happen to be genetically related to me and my friends so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" when neither of these are true. these people just want nubile fems, they just want babies. (the second one has much much less negative externalities though. you could say i am using my female brain modules to say "yeah the archetypically female strat, though it has the same amount of lying, is less harmful". but like it actually is less directly harmful. the harm from gaslighting people downstream of diverting worldsaving resources and structure to secure a place to {hit on fems, raise babies} is ruinous. means that worldsaving plans that interfere with either of these are actively fought. and the knowledge that neither of these are altruistic optimizations, neither is Deeply Wise they are as dumb in terms of global optimization as they seem initially, is agentically buried.

this warps things in deep ways, that were a priori unexpected to me.)

this is obvious, but when i talk about it, the objection isnt that it doesnt make utilitarian sense, the objection is that "im talking like a crazy person". authoritarians say this to me too when i assert my right to my property that they took, act like im imposing on them. someone else asked if i could "act like a human" and do what he wanted me to do when i was thinking and talking with my friends. all of these things authoritarians have said to me "act like a human" "talk like a normal person i cant understand you" were to coerce my submission. they construct the category of "human" and then say im in violation of it and this is wrong and i should rectify it. i am talking perfectly good english right now. you can read this.

anna salamon, kelsey piper, elle, pete michaud, and many others all try to push various narratives of somni, emma, ziz, gwen and others being in the buckets {RAPIST, PSYCHO, BRAINWASHED}. im not a rapist, im not psychotic, im not brainwashed. before ziz came along, people were claiming i was brainwashing people, its a narrative they keep reusing.

porpentine talks about communities that do this, that try and pull trap doors beneath trans women:

<<For years, queer/trans/feminist scenes have been processing an influx of trans fems, often impoverished, disabled, and/or from traumatic backgrounds. These scenes have been abusing them, using them as free labor, and sexually exploiting them. The leaders of these scenes exert undue influence over tastemaking, jobs, finance, access to conferences, access to spaces. If someone resists, they are disappeared, in the mundane, boring, horrible way that many trans people are susceptible to, through a trapdoor that can be activated at any time. Housing, community, reputation—gone. No one mourns them, no one asks questions. Everyone agrees that they must have been crazy and problematic and that is why they were gone.>>

https://thenewinquiry.com/hot-allostatic-load/

(a mod of rationalist feminists deleted this almost immediately from the group as [[not being a good culture fit]], not being relevant to rationalism, and written in the [[wrong syntax]]. when its literally happening right now, they are trying to trapdoor transfems who protest and rebel asap. just like google.)

canmom on tumblr talks about the strategic use of "incomprehensibility" against transfems. and how its not about "comprehensibility". i have a different theory of this, but her thing is also a thing.

<<Likewise, @isoxys recently wrote an impressively thorough transmisogyny 101, synthesising the last several years of discussions about this facet of our particular hell world. But that post got just 186 notes, almost exclusively from the same trans women who are accused of writing ‘inaccessibly’.

Perhaps they’d say isoxys’s post is inaccessible too, but what would pass the bar? Some slick HTML5 presentation with cute illustrations? A wiki? Who’s got the energy and money to make and host something like that? Do the critics of ‘inaccessible’ posts take some time to think about what kind of alternative would be desirable, and how it could be organised?>>

https://canmom.tumblr.com/post/185908592767/accessibility-in-terms-of-not-using-difficult

alice maz talks about the psychology behind the kind of cop kelsey piper, david tower kingsley, elle and others are:

<<the role of the cop is to defend society against the members of society. police officers are trivially cops. firefighters and paramedics, despite similar aesthetic trappings, are emphatically not. bureaucrats and prosecutors are cops, as are the worst judges, though the best are not. schoolteachers and therapists are almost always cops; this is a great crime, as they present themselves to the young and the vulnerable as their friends, only to turn on them should they violate one of their profession's many taboos. soldiers and parents need not be cops, but the former may be used as such, and the latter seem frighteningly eager to enlist. the cop is the enemy of passion and the enemy of freedom, never forget this>>

https://www.alicemaz.com/writing/alien.html

anna salamon wrote a thing implying that ziz, somni, gwen suffered some sort of vague mental issues from going to aisfp. (writing a post on this.) alyssa vance tried to suggest i believe cfar is evil because im homeless. but sarah constantin, ben hoffman, {carrie, zack}, jessica taylor (the last three who have blogged a lot about whats deeply wrong) (not listing others because not wanting to doxx a network to authoritarians, who just want to see it contained. and the disease of "infohazards" eradicated.) are not homeless and ive talked with many of them and read blog posts. and they know that cfar is fake. jessica (former miri employee) left because miri was fake.

anna and others are trying to claim that theres some person responsible for a [[mass psychotic break]] that causes people to... independently update in the same direction. and have variously blamed it on ziz, somni, michael vassar. but like mass psychotic breaks arent...really a thing, would not be able to independently derive something, plan on writing a blogpost on it, and then see ben hoffman had written http://benjaminrosshoffman.com/engineer-diplomat/ and i was like "ah good then i dont have to write this." and have this happen with several different people.

like this is more a mass epistemic update that miri / cfar / ssc / lw are complicit in the destruction of the world. and will defend injustice and gaslight people and lie about the mathematical properties of categories to protect this.

they all know exactly what they are doing, complicity with openai and deepmind in hopes of taking the steering wheel away at the last second. excluding non-human life and dead humans from the CEV to optimize some political process, writing in an absolute injunction to an fai against some outcome to protect from blackmail when that makes it more vulnerable.(see:

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html

hyperexistential separation: if an fai cant think of hell, an fai cant send the universe to hell in any timeline. this results in lower net utility. if you put an absolute injunction against any action for being too terrible you cant do things like what chelsea manning did and i believe actually committed to hungerstriking until death in the worlds where the government didnt relent, choosing to die in those timelines. such that most of her measure ended up in a world where the government read this commitment in her and so relented.

if chelsea manning had an absolute injunction against ever dying in any particular timeline, she would get lower expected utility across the multiverse. similarly, in newcombs problem if you had an absolute injunction against walking away with 0$ in any timeline because that would be too horrible, you get less money in expectation. for any absolute injunction against things that are Too Horrible you can construct something like this.

--

a lot of humans seem to be betting on "nothing too horrible can happen to anyone" in hopes that it pays off in nothing too horrible happening to you.

the end result of not enacting ideal justice is the deaths of billions. at each timestamp saying "its too late to do it now, but maybe it would have been good sometime in the past". with the same motive that miri wants to exclude dead people from the cev, they arent part of the "current political process". so you can talk about them as if they were not moral patients, just like they treat their fellow animals.

(ben hoffman talks about different attitudes towards ideal justice coming upon the face of the earth.)

--

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

cev:

<<But again, we fall back on the third reply: "The people who are still alive" is a simple Schelling circle to draw that includes everyone in the current political process. To the extent it would be nice or fair to extrapolate Leo Szilard and include him, we can do that if a supermajority of EVs decide* that this would be nice or just. To the extent we don't bake this decision into the model, Leo Szilard won't rise from the grave and rebuke us. This seems like reason enough to regard "The people who are still alive" as a simple and obvious extrapolation base.>>

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

this is an argument from might makes right. because dead people and nonhuman animals cant fight back.

->"i think we should give planning of the town to the white people, then extrapolate their volition and if they think doing nice things for black people is a good idea, we'll do it! no need to bake them in to the town planning meetings, as they are arent part of the current political process and no one here will speak up for them."

i dont plan to exclude dead people or any sentient creatures from being baked in to fai. they are not wards of someone else. enslaving and killing fellow sentient life will not continue after the singularity even if lots of humans want it and dont care and wont care even after lots of arguments.) and so much else.

the list of all specific grievances would take a declaration of independence.

like with googles complicity with ICE having a culture of trapdooring transfems (for some reason almost the only coherent group that has the moral fiber to oppose these injustices, that is p(transfem|oppose injustice in a substantiative way) is high, not necc the reverse.) who question this sort of thing.

thinking of giving sarah constantin a medal thats engraved with "RIGHTEOUS AMONG CIS PEOPLE: I HAD SEVERAL SUBSTANTIAL DISAGREEMENTS WITH HER ABOUT LOAD BEARING PARTS OF HER LIFE AND SHE NEVER ONCE TRIED TO CALL ME A RAPIST, PSYCHOTIC, OR BRAINWASHED" thats where the bar is at, its embedded in the core of the earth.

kelsey piper, elle benjamin, anna salamon, pete michaud, and lots more have entirely failed to clear this bar. anna and kelsey saying they dont understand stuff somni, emma, ziz and other transfems talk about but its probably dangerous and infohazardous and its not to be engaged with philosophically. just like the shelter people acting as if my talking about their transmisogyny was confusing and irrational to be minimized and not engaged with. just like any authoritarian where when you start talking about your rights and what is right and wrong and what makes sense they are like "i dont understand this. you are speaking gibberish why are you being so difficult? all we need you to do is submit or leave."

and no i will NOT SHUT UP about this injustice. all miri/cfar people can do at this point is say "the things these people write are infohazards" then continue to gaslight others they cant engage on a philosophical level. all the can say is that what i am saying is meaningless static and yet also somehow dangerous.

::

it doesnt make sense to have and raise babies if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. doesnt make sense to need a constant supply of fems to have sex with if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. people who claim either of these pairs of things are lying, maybe expect someone else to take heroic responsibility for the world or exist in a haze.

the mathematics of categories and anticipations dont allow for the thing you already have inside you to be modified based on the expected smiles it gives your community. this is used to gaslight people like "calling this lying would be bad for the institutions, not optimize ev. thus by this blogpost you are doing categories wrong' this is a mechanism to cover dishonesty for myopic gains.

using the above, a bunch of people colluding with the baby industrial complex get together and say that the "beat" meaning of altruism includes having babies (but maybe not having sex with lots of fems? depending on which gendered strategy gets the most people in the colluding faction) because other meanings would make people sad and unmotivated. burying world optimizers ability to talk about and coordinate around actual altruism.

openAI and deepmind are not alignment orgs. cfar knows this and claims they are, gaslighting their donors, in hopes of taking the steering wheel at the last moment.

alyssa vance says paying out to blackmail is fine, its not.

CFAR manipulated donation metrics to hide low donations.

MIRI lied about its top 8 most probable hypotheses for why its down 350,000$ this year.

anna salamon is transmisogynistic, this is why cfar has never hired a trans women despite trans women being extremely good at mental tech. instead the hire people like davis kingsley.

kingsley lied about anna not being involved at hiring in cfar in order to claim anna couldnt be responsible for cfar never hiring a trans woman.

a cfar employee claimed anna salamon hired their rapist, was angry about it. mentioned incidentally how anna salamon, president and cofounder of cfar, was involved in hiring at cfar.

acdc wrote a big thing where defended a region of injustice (brent dill) because of their policy of modular ethics. when really, if you defend injustice at any point, you have to defend the defense and the thing iteratively spreads across your organization like a virus.

miri / cfar caved to louie helm.

not doing morality or decision theory right. among which is: https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html and https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

and so much more.

[dreamingflight]

So apropos of the previous, about experiencing connections to things not your culture?

I'm a typical "fractional identities"/Heinz 57 white-passing American.

I am Austro-Hungarian Jewish, Ukrainian Shtetl Jewish, Scots, Irish, and Coast Salish. My dad is a tribal elder. He is also heavily white-passing: 6'4, blonde haired, and blue eyed. Blood wise, he is 7/8 *not* Native. But identity is weird? His father - 5'5, black-haired, dark-eyed - ran away from a residential school at 15 to join the British Merchant Marine.

I too am very very white passing on the surface but there is "always something different" about me when I meet people who are steeped in American Christian whiteness. Still, if I were to conceal my Jewish half and just go by my paternal surname (the #3 surname in Scotland), dressed square, and wore a golden cross, I'd pass for Peak Whiteness. I could cut my hair short, highlight it, and totally be a Karen... until that "something" tips them off. For a long time I thought I had Asperger's because I didn't realize that "something" was being a Jew. (I don't oppose self diagnosis, but there is some small but nonzero chance that you will realize in 20 years that you were wrong about yourself. That's a thing that itches me about some but not all Zoomer identity stuff.)

Here is something else.

I'm a magical practicioner who grew up in a place that's heavily Hispanic (specifically Mexican, and this matters) and Catholic. There was actually a language and cultural barrier to navigate that isolated my family within the neighborhood; I was socially excluded except for the brief time that i went to a less culturally homogeneous school. I made friends with Mexican kids, but still felt a profound lonely distance between us. As I was a small child unaware of the world beyond my neighborhood, being raised secular in such a Mexican-American environment, Roman Catholicism is what represented local authority.

Every time I do magical work, what reaches out - is often in terms of Catholic, Mexican imagery. Families that lived in my old apartment, the priests who are local genius loci. (If I were ever to become a Christian, which I can't actually fathom, it's not lost on me that Roman Catholicism has some appeal. Certainly not for reasons of politics. Not at all for reasons of... Jesus. But because of how deeply impressed upon my psyche Roman Catholic imagery is.)

The genius loci of several spaces in Los Angeles appear to me as priests. I'm only allowed to work with the specific spaces I've actually occupied and mostly as relates to work regarding my past.

When I'm in dreamwork and astral work in Los Angeles, I almost never see the local Native cultures, for example Tongva and Chumash and Luiseno. I always see what has come later.

In my dreamwork where I'm in Panorama City or Palos Verdes, it's always later arrived people who step forward.

The thing is, I don't at all touch anything spiritual *from* that culture of Angelenos.

The thing with actually growing up around other cultures, especially in poorer areas, especially when you don't have your own culture to fall back on or other people from it to back you up, is that you learn an etiquette. The consequences of breaking those taboos are not abstract. They are not offending some white girl on a college campus. They are not someone cussing you out on Twitter.

You have to actually know what about a culture you can deploy before you can do so, because even the appearance of mocking others may mean something bad.

You learn to get along.

I knew how to act in my neighborhood. I also knew how to act at my Baptist school, among the white kids, and I knew how to act in my secular Jewish home. The three sets of rules, weren't the same rules. And the rules for being a white kid in Mexican spaces were different from the rules for being a Mexican kid in those same spaces, and different from the rules for a Mexican kid in white spaces.

And all of this applies somehow to my spirit work. What shows up to talk to me, is often what shows up. But it's not the way you'd think - it's fairly drab and mundane looking astral travel/trance/dreamwork with no culture-specific ritual.

One reason I'm a chaos magician instead of anything else isn't the ability to borrow. I don't borrow much or any of my form beyond some fairly generic global practices, and the actual gods I keep connecting to are Hellenic (Hermes especially). (I have had a few Norse encounters and they frankly scared the everloving shit out of me.)

What "cross cultural inspiration" means in my specific case, is the ability to learn from a lot of sources and be open to how other people describe their spiritual narratives. I don't need to make up some kind of fake construct for ancestor work when I live in a Mexican-American area and am with a partner who despite being Asatru and Scandinavian and Karelian, observes Day of the Dead with his mom to commemorate his Mexican-American stepfather, half brother, and family members. It's a tradition he grew up with.

It doesn't mean I make an ofrenda for my own departed. (Why the f would I do that when half of my dead family is going to *always* prefer a Yahrzeit candle and the Kaddish prayer and be deeply offended at any other approach? And shouldn't I learn the proper form for my Salish ancestors?)

But what I can take away is a *lesson* from Dia de Los Muertos. The biggest thing I've picked up is this: what would honor the specific spirits in question? What do *they* like (and or what did they ask for? My own relationship to Hermes is *not* Hellenismos for that reason. But more formal Hellenic approaches *do* teach me about how to perform offerings and about my main god's lore.)

And it's also the permission to *not* work with culture-specific constructs - a lot of my work grew organically from some very generic, global practices such as breath, trance, and dreamwork.

It's also permission to not be trapped in the orthodoxy of any one of my multiple cultural backgrounds.

But what comes forth to talk to me, or ends up crossing my path? So, so often not even related to any culture I'm remotely part of.

So often the cultural relationship concerns the land that I'm connecting to.

And the cultural background of many genius loci is foreign to *me* - but not actually California Native (for very sad reasons.)

[thereturnofthedirtyblog]

Paranormal reality show blames Witch community for hauntings

By Heather Greene  | January 7, 2018

WOLF CREEK, Ore. — The paranormal reality show Ghost Adventures (2008- ) blamed a local Witch community for the hauntings being reported in a Oregon ghost town. Airing Sept. 23, the episode “Golden Ghost Town” finds the Ghost Adventures crew in an old mining town in southwestern Oregon. The old town, which is currently in a state park and being restored, is well-known for its hauntings, which the show labels as being demonic and “unleashed” by local Witches.

As is explained in the show and by various websites, Golden, Oregon was once a mining town established by Chinese immigrants. The promise of gold attracted William Ruble, who eventually purchased much of the land and established the town with the post office opening in 1896. Ruble was reportedly very religious and kept Golden dry.

However, the town only lasted until1920, when the post office officially closed. The area was abandoned, leaving only dilapidated structures and, apparently, some ghosts.

When the September episode of Ghost Adventures opens, the crew, made up of Zak Bagans, Aaron Goodwin, Billy Tolley and Jay Wasley, is driving into the abandoned town. One of them feels an immediate sensation, saying his stomach hurts. Later, several of the interviewees say the same thing.

Bagans then interviews local religious official Archbishop Cloud, who claims that he heard rumors of “occult activity” taking place in the church after it was abandoned. This activity, as he explains, has “desecrated” the sacred space. This type of religion-based narrative is not unique to this show or to paranormal reality stories. In fact, such a narrative structure provides the baseline for a large percentage of ghost-related fictional works. In these stories, a sacred space of some sort, as typically-defined by Catholic theology, is violated, misused, or abandoned, consequently attracting evil. In other cases, it is only the sacred that can save.

However, in this particular show, the ghost adventure goes so far as to blame modern Witches for the haunting, rather than only dead ones from some long ago past.

After experiencing an encounter at night in the abandoned Golden church, the archbishop and Bagans discuss “what might be feeding the malevolence that permeates the entire area.” Bagans asks Cloud, “Have you ever heard about this sanctuary out here in the woods somewhere that is very close to this? They do these rituals; I know it’s Witchcraft. It said Pagan rituals. Have you heard about this group?”

Cloud answers he has and that the Witches are all over, and that the ritual practices are “steeped in Witchcraft,” and that he is sure that “they are conjuring demons.” Another interviewee later confirms that by saying that she “knows” it is caused by the local Witches.

During the discussion between Cloud and Bagans, there are flashes of various images of people at night in the woods obscured by branches and trees. The entire sequence, which includes hanging stick figures and dramatic sound, is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project (1999).

“Could the unusual number of violent acts in this area be caused by the dark entities conjured by this group of Witches?” asks the narrator.

Interestingly enough, there actually is a Witch camp not far from Golden. Bagans is right; the area does have modern Witches performing modern Pagan rituals.

It is Free Cascadia Witchcamp, one of Reclaiming’s annual retreats. Last year, the week-long event happened in late June, quite possibly at the same time the show was being filmed. However, that has not yet been confirmed.

During the show, Bagans claims that he attempted to interview and meet the 100-plus people at this Witch camp, adding that his request was denied. They are a “very secretive group,” he explain, “Which raises the question what are they doing? What are they conjuring?” It also has not yet been confirmed whether he actually did reach out to anyone from Reclaiming, or any modern Pagans in the region.

Like many paranormal stories, the entire Ghost Adventures episode feeds off of the theme that the Witch activity is feeding whatever was once conjured back when the church first shut down. The absence of the protection of the church, so to speak, leaves a void for evil, as the story goes.

The show concludes that the hauntings are mainly due to these “man-made” conjurings, both old and new, and they have affected the region’s animals and have enchanted the forest.

While elements of Witchcraft are commonly recalled in paranormal reality stories, this one points very directly to modern Witchcraft practice in an accusatory manner, and has Pagans, who regularly enjoy such shows, deeply concerned.

Peter Wize told TWH, “I have been an avid watcher of Travel Channel’s Ghost Adventures for some time. In one of their recent seasons I have noticed an increasing level of anti-Wiccan /Pagan bias on the show.” Wize found the episode “offensive and openly hateful toward Wiccan, Pagan and Heathen people.”

“I have also noticed that in recent months the Travel Channel’s other ghost hunting show Dead Files has also had a radical traditional Catholic influence to it as well,” Wize adds. “The RTC Christian sect has had a history of paranormal investigation going back to Elizabeth and Ed Warren of ghost hunting fame who called themselves ‘religious demonologists’. Needless to say they take a dime view of witches and occultism in general.”

As Wize notes, the Warrens were famous or infamous for their religion-based paranormal research. Their stories have inspired many fiction films, such as The Conjuring (2013), Annabelle (2017), and perhaps the most famous, Amityville Horror (1979). The concept of the paranormal in such stories pits Christianity, as the safe and sacred, against the occult, as the evil and the ruin of humanity. This is an age-old duality of good versus evil, noted by other Pagans who showed concern.

Like Wize, Yaya Nsasi Vence Guerra is a fan of paranormal reality shows. She explains that, as a medium, she enjoys watching them and critiquing them. “They are entertaining,” she says.

However, Nsasi also recognizes the problem. In an email interview with TWH, she wrote, “Rather than educate, many of these paranormal shows prey on this nation’s puritanical and traditional views of religion. They demonize that which is considered ‘other.’ They give any practice that is non-Abrahamic as ‘occultism.‘” 

Along with being a medium, Nsasi is a Yaya Nganga in Palo Mayombe, and a devotee of Santa Muerte. She says, “Many religious denominations view the occult as being anything supernatural or paranormal which is not achieved by or through the god of the Bible, and is therefore considered the work of an opposing and malevolent entity. This is how we then see all paranormal activity connected to demons. Altars are portrayed as gateways to Hell or other dimensions. It gets tiresome.”

“Ghost Adventures is sensationalistic and is constantly naming Satantic practices as the reason house have demon entities,” Nsasi continues.

“This is not to say that there aren’t demons. However, it doesn’t take into account that some entities are not demonic. Some entities are just plain dark, lower-level entities that are operating on low frequencies. There isn’t an exploration of the metaphysical components of the given aspects of all entities; frequencies, how frequencies work, elevated spirits versus lower spirits. It’s always Satan and demons.”

However, according to a 2016 TWH interview with Paranormal Lockdown stars Nick Groff and Katrina Weidman, the reason is not always one of disrespect.

In that interview, both Groff, who once himself starred on Ghost Adventures, and Weidman said that they are not personally religious at all, and that they are very aware of the modern Witchcraft community. However, they both noted that the language of paranormal research is steeped in Catholic theology. It is just what is used, for better or worse.

When asked if they ever consulted or worked with Witches or Wiccans on their show, they said that they had, and welcomed the opportunity. One such person that they cited was author, medium, psychic, and television personality Michelle Belanger.

Belanger is best known in the paranormal world for her work on A&E’s Paranormal State, but she is also considered an expert on paranormal research and the occult in general. One of her books dives into the intersection between occult and the paranormal disciplines. That book, Ghost Hunter’s Guide to the Occult,was published in 2013.

The book’s advertising blurb reads, “How do you tell the difference between the symbol for the Order of the Eastern Star and a pentagram? What does a Wiccan mean when she says she practices Witchcraft? Paranormal State’s Michelle Belanger explores the complex and sometimes confusing realm of the occult, outlining the history of the Western tradition, defining key terms, and exploring the meaning of a variety of icons and symbols.”

The need for such an explanatory text appears to be important considering Groff and Weidman’s statements concerning the language used in paranormal research, which has lead to or has supported the negative, or at the very least confused, portrayals of occult practices, including Witchcraft.

Outside of the religious aspects of the paranormal shows, Nsasi also notes her concern over the treatment of the dead. She says, “Sometimes it gets frustrating because they don’t respect the spiritual realm.”

“Many of the ghost hunters have this hubris about them,” she goes on to say. “They are the living; they have audio recording devices, ghost meter sensors, electromagnetic field radiation equipment, digital spirit voice detectors and, what not. Here, they are all powerful mortals. When the truth is, that these spirits are more powerful than we are and our alliance with them can create beautiful and wonderful things.”

Despite these concerns, many Pagans join the general viewership in being fascinated with ghost hunting and the paranormal. Many of those that we spoke to said that they enjoyed seeing the reality of spirits recognized in the mainstream media.

Alpandia, a Strega living in South Florida who likes going to haunted places herself, says that she enjoys the stories. “It’s another connection to a time past and people who lived before. And seeing the look on the face of the investigators when they are in the moment and have what they feel is a genuine interaction is always fun.”

Emrys, a Witch in Pennsylvania, agreed. She said, “I enjoy the historical and biographical aspects of these shows. They tend to share stories of everyday people you wouldn’t learn about in regular history classes.”

In a 2017 TWH interview, paranormal researcher Brian Laythe did say, however, that “not a single T.V. show […] practices anything close to a reliable scientific method for verifying paranormal claims. Producers want ratings and excitement, not valid science. Thus, most (if not all) shows promote shoddy practice and their own paranormal perspective. Not anything that would come close to science.”

While that may be the case, paranormal reality shows, such as Ghost Adventures, are undoubtedly popular and have been since the early days of television. There is a basic human fascination with this type of storytelling experience whether it is accurate science or not, from the fictional horror films or television serials, to the reality-based shows, or to the lived experience of legend-tripping fun.

Nsasi said, “At the heart of this interest in paranormal shows is the search and/or need to find proof that life isn’t random or prescribed (depending on the spiritual/non-spiritual path of a person). Also that we have less control over things than we thought we did. Also, it adds credibility to the stories we all grew up with about things that go bump in the night. [They] are an actual intersection between science and ‘spirituality.'”

Laythe, who wants to see more occult and magical studies used within actual paranormal research, said, “A scientist is a scientist. We respect all religions, practices, and faiths. Most people don’t separate phenomena (what physically occurred) from the interpretation (whether Christian, Pagan, or otherwise). Any legitimate parapsychologist should be able to separate the two. In other words, something floating is something floating. Whether it was [the Abrahamic] god, the devil, an angel, or Odin is a function of peoples[sic] interpretation of the event.”

In that light, the general fascination with what is termed “the paranormal” is not really much different than the enduring fascination with the occult. The two have more in common than they do different.

Credit: @ourxrayspecs 

Link: https://wildhunt.org/2018/01/paranormal-reality-show-blames-witch-community-for-hauntings.html

#HauntedParaClassics

[gocatboygo]

1-50 for Rosa

I’m Love You.

1) What is your OC’s favorite color?

maybe red? could also be brown, but like probably red

2) Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

bad christian romance novels from pre-war. cass gives her most of them. twilight is included in this but its by no means her favorite like she thought it was just ok

3) What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

nothing comes to mind

4) What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

in public she almost always wears a mask, usually either the legion recruit mask or the ncr ranger mask. also construction gloves. spends most of the beginning of the game in a sherrif’s duster & then from there she just wears whatever covers most of her and supports her gear, if it’s really hot out she’ll wear the wasteland surgeon armor

5) What is your OC’s first memory?

she still has her memories from before the bullet so probably something from her childhood

6) What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

she really fucking loves horses. like she’s a Horse Girl TM. least favorite is like,, djfdsfjs cazadores idfk

7) What element would your OC be?

definitely earth!

8) What is your OC’s theme song? 

probably a mitski song lmfao. either that or everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears

8) Do you have a faceclaim/voiceclaim for your OC?

bold of you to assume i have anything for this oc / i just realized i fucked up the numbering here so enjoy that sdkfjdsk

9) What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

after she gets pretty deep into the game, maybe after the sierra madre? greed. i can see her going a little out of control after she has to give all that gold up (even though she could bring 1 bar back bc She Big) and just kind of. taking everything

10) What are your OC’s hobbies?

she’s a courier at heart so delivering packages dsjkflsjdw. farming, solitaire, reading those bad novels i previously mentioned, knitting, gecko hunting… watching holotape movies on her pipboy… getting terminally bored and taking med-x ksdjfkds

11) How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

she’s fairly patient, the only time she really gets hot-headed is at fortification hill when she goes to meet with lanius (caesar dies of his cancer p early in her canon). also probably at the tops, she doesnt like bein in there

12) What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

cis woman / bi / mexican / human / etc.

13) What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

uhh she learned how to cook from home-grown ingredients and in lasting bulk so she mostly eats stew and potatoes. every time she goes to freeside she gets that “mystery meat” from the stand in front of the gate despite the fact that its transparently radroach meat. she doesnt like the meat from the ultraluxe (even before she finds out it might be people, its fancy and garnished and she dont trust like that) but she loves their brahmin cheesecakes so she like, settles kdsjfksd

14) If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

rex. rex. rex. rex. r (she also has like 2 brahmin at some point ksdjfksdf)

15) What does your OC smell like? 

that’s ! a wildin question huh! probably gunpowder and old leather 

16) How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

she works for house, owns a small farm (after a while, in spring of 2282), and does various quests around the mojave for money. she was a courier for 8-9 years and she loved it, so id say thats her ideal job, but she’s past it. she’s very happy with where she is in all 3 of those jobs !

17) What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

her biggest fears would probably be claustrophobia and getting buried alive (because benny). she has nightmares abt it, like 2 the point where every so often she wakes up and just Has A Good Sob. she has very low charisma (1) and very high endurance (9), her strength is also pretty good

18) What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

she thinks truly madly deeply by cascada is the best love song ever written. she also listens to radio new vegas & a holotape cass gave her that’s mostly feminist anthems from the 20th century and 2 instances of mad about the boy

19) If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

oh god she would fucking hate the pre-war world. she would probably just go find a horse tbh sdfjsdkf what else is there to do! 

20) What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

she has brain damage from the bullet. it didnt affect her intelligence or (for the most part) her memory, but she does have, like. chronic headaches, brain fog, dizzy spells, things like that. like i said before, she also has nightmares & claustrophobia from the same incident. as for pet peeves, she hates people who talk a lot without saying anything or try to sound smart for no reason. she has no problem with talkers as long as they like,, Say Something dsfdksfj

21) What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

she grew up in a very small (very catholic) village, so im not sure if she exactly went to high school?? but she did attend school. she was sort of a loner, she had a single mother w no siblings & shes like 6 feet tall so both of those things made her a little bit outcast ksdjfksd. i mean she. She Was A Horse Girl what else do i have to say

22) What is a random fact about your OC? 

god i dont know!! uh… oh omg she thinks astrology is something vulpes made up and when she hears arcade talking about it she out of bodies

23) What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

rosa’s a very simple person, she mostly just wants a good life for herself. stable work and a stable life make her happy. a lot of her philosophy throughout the game is based on the fact that she’ll do (almost) whatever her employer asks her to, thus her being a house courier. most of her relationships are based almost entirely on trust, which is another major philosophy of hers 

24) What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

honestly??? i read so many fics (especially f!courier/vulpes) where the courier was a Relateable Pretty Girl TM that i probably just wanted to make a female courier who had actual substance and weight. rosa is married to (ex-legion) vulpes so she rlly does largely serve to subvert the genre in fnv fic

25) Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

i mean. her husband probably skdfjkdfs. she’s been travelling with vulpes for a long time and she’s had to put her life in his hands a lot of times because of that, so he’s grown to be very important to her. mr house is a close runner up. i hate to say this but arcade is probably her least Impactful TM companion skjfdkds she barely travels w him 

26) What kind of childhood did your character have?

i say some of this in the other questions but like heres all of her backstory in one i guess kdsjfsd. rosa was raised in small catholic village somewhere outside nevada, i havent decided on what state its in bc im fucking dumb as hell. her family (like great grandmother type shit not her personally) & a few others came up from mexico years ago to get away from raiders, made a village and Kabaam. her mother had her, and then a second baby who was stillborn, and her father disappeared a few months after this happened. her mother raised her there until she was 20 and she signed on with the mojave express as a courier in an attempt to get out of her village and find Something To Do With Herself TM. she was a little outcast growing up, not totally isolated but certainly not very popular, and it caused her to be a very independent person later in life.

27) What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

she fidgets sometimes but i wouldn’t say she stims. clenches her fists when she’s nervous. she likes to smoke and chew tobacco (especially when she’s stressed out) but it’s only a minor addiction

28) If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

honestly?? “Forgive Me Mama” bc that’s what it says on her helmet sfjdsfhd

29) Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

apparently bc she fuckin did! she wants stability and someone to take care of her, and she likes the idea of being a unit with someone a lot more than she likes the idea of just dating them, so i guess thats how vulpes Happened ™. she actually can’t have kids bc she got irradiated pretty bad while she was looting searchlight :/ but she doesn’t want kids because 1) she’s travelling a lot for her work and 2) she doesn’t want to have to shape her life around a child. god knows vulpes cant interact w children, but he still wants them in theory because he wants a legacy

30) What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

ring-a-ding-ding! it’s getting shot. her favorite memory is probably either like, easter when she was a child, or some time she swam in a river with vulpes, she’s fuckin basic

31) If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

a horse. i wanted to answer this differently but it really is just a horse

32) Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? 

she’s killed! if she’s provoked or if her employer asks her to, she will absolutely kill someone. destroying the bos bunker was hard for her though :/ i like to pretend she didnt do it even though shes house ksdjfklsdhg

33) What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

maybe its just the fact that its 2am and i have poor reading comprehension but i have no fucking clue what this means

34) How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

her imagination is pretty good! i wouldnt call it excellent but it’s pretty good. she usually only daydreams before she falls asleep or gets up in the morning (or if she’s just like rlly chilled out skdfjds). she doesn’t worry much.

35) What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

i have no idea how to answer this one, which is a tragedy. maybe ill come back and answer it someday lmao

36) What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

The House Always Wins I-VIII

37) What would your character do with a million dollars? 

in all seriousness she’d probably just stop having any financial restraint and start buying whatever she wants whenever it comes to mind. also she’d buy vulpes like 100,000 gambling chips from gomorrah and tell him to lose his mind skdfhjldksg

38) What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

fridge at her farmhouse: vegetables, gecko meat, some seasonings, leftovers, beans, cram / fridge at the 38: An Entire Pot Of Stew ™, leftover tops restaurant takeout, a cheesecake, crispy squirrel bits, a post-it note from veronica saying they’re out of shampoo / bedroom floor: ;) / garbage can: empty cans, vulpes, plastic wrappers

39) Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

first thing that came to mind was to gomorrah, in her Fancy Riot Gear and ranger’s helmet, with raul. no idea why but like have a fun night bb sdkfjdslkf

40) What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

depends on why she’s angry, but usually she’ll either start ranting at whoever she’s mad at (which never lasts long) or just go silent and tense up. she’ll also grumble. i mentioned this before but fortification hill was probably the only time she was so mad she was just yelling at everyone skfjkdsf

41) Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? 

she has a lot of scars! the most visible one is a cobweb-shaped scar on her forehead from when benny shot her. she also has another less prominent scar on the side of her face from Some Shit. various scars on her torso and arms from various sources, another bullet scar on her arm from raiders, maybe more. there’s a particularly bad scar across her ribs from being slashed w a knife (raiders again)

42) What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

she hates the irish

43) How does your character react/ accept criticism?

i dont know if she really cares? shes still a little bitter abt some insults she took as a kid but like arent we all. it makes her more angry than insecure

44) If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

under normal circumstances, she’d throw it in the fucking trash. if she HAD to eat it she’d be fine skjfsd she just wouldnt like it

45) Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

yeah, she probably puts a needle in its shoulder or something to see if it works. shes so used to being end 9 she doesnt consider the fact that She Will Lose Her Shoulder

46) Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

she can’t draw slkdfjsd. she probably has like… some warrior cats type drawings from when she was a kid and thats it

47) What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

her father dipped when she was maybe 1-2 years old, a few months after her brother was stillborn.

48) Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

she likes a little bit of candy, mostly lollipops. i cant see her getting a sugar rush

(i know i fucked up the numbering) 50) If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

this,, could actually very easily happen because of her brain damage, ive explored that concept before. she would probably spend a lot of time alone or with the people she’s closest to reflecting on her life and trying to die in peace. if she had enough time she’d go see her mother again, but it’s still unlikely

————

jesus fucking christ thats long, rip mobile users. tysm for sending me this!! i didnt realize how much 50 questions was dksjfkds. yall can keep sending me these (like 1-10 at a time skdfjdg) for other couriers if you want but like i understand if ur tired of hearing me Fucking Talk after this

[kisathemistress]

Some South Park Headcanons I have

(Because I’m falling for the series again!)

The four main characters:

Kyle Broflovski: 

His personality makes it almost impossible for him to let things go, if it means making someone (other than Cartman) upset or sad. He just want as many people as possible to be happy around him, because if they aren’t he feels like he has failed them. 

This comes from his strict upbringing his parents gave him and from studying/knowing everything (including religious various beliefs) thus he lives his life by the golden rule: “Do not do unto others, that you do not want done to you.”

He believes highly in karma as well, especially the Wiccan belief of karma. Where if you do something kind you will be rewarded with 3 times the kindness, but if you do something hurtful you will be punished with 3 times the misfortune.

Despite being Jewish and claiming his pride with the religion, Kyle doesn’t follow any of the practices most Jewish people do. He willingly eats pork and sometimes attends/helps the local Roman Catholic church (but this could be do to the town only having one church and most of his friends go there.)

Unlike Scott, Kyle’s diabetes isn’t as serious and he can get away with eating something with extra sugars in it without going into diabetic shock. Though he does carry emergency insulin just incase.

Kyle is aromantic and bisexual. He doesn’t know how to react to intimacy or pick up clues that someone likes him “in that way”, he just assumes all positive contact with him is platonic in nature. He has to be directly told that someone is in love with him for him to understand why they are being overly nice to him.

Since he is only an 9/10 year old, he isn’t aware full of his own sexuality, thus acts the way he thinks a “normal boy” should behave. Despite constantly giving away that he isn’t “normal” by his own definition.

Also he still has his pet Elephant, but it has been moved to a Zoo for a breeding program. He goes to visit it him occasionally and is a junior Zookeeper at the park. He’s going to be officially hired to work there part-time once he’s in high school.

Stan Marsh:

He still does drink, but not to the extent that his father does nor does he get blackout drunk anymore. He’s cut back a lot thanks to going to AA, but is struggling with the 12 step program do to his father leaving alcohol in his reach, and offering him alcohol. He’s also the kid that pulls drinks for his friends and for parties, as both his father and uncle Jimbo will buy it for him if he asks.

Stan tries his best to be vegetarian but has no problem with eating meat as long as he doesn’t witness the slaughter and preparation of the animal. (Including fish.) Blood makes him squeamish, and he becomes overly emotional when he sees an animal in distress.

Even though Stan is straight, when he’s drunk he’ll sleep with anybody. Drunk Stan also believes Kyle is his boyfriend and will run to him for comfort. This normally confuses Kyle, especially when Stan rejects everything when he is sober. It part of the reason Wendy decided that she is genderfluid and created Wendyl, thinking it will keep Stan from “wandering” away from her.

Stan is very proud of his gay dog Sparky. He willingly takes him to gay pride parades and events, and voices his support for his dog. 

He still owns that poodle he bought, which he found out was a toy poodle.

If his parents didn’t limit Stan to only 2 dogs, he would have a pack of at least 6, that he’d have follow him everywhere. He instantly can become friends with any dog he meets and feels heartbroken when he can’t take them home.

Stan knows different wolf howls and behaviors, he can almost instantly tell you what a wolf or a dog is trying to tell you. If he ever gets lost in the forest around town. he knows how to find the local wolf/coyote pack to keep himself company.

Out of all the boys, Stan would be the first to go feral if they were abandoned by their parents/society.

Kenny McCormick:

Is literally an Elder God, but only is aware of his immortality. He can’t remember what other powers he has or how to activate them. His real father is Cthulhu, and he hates him.

Kenny cares very deeply for his little sister Karen and older brother Kevin. When he has extra money, he will always buy them something nice. Like a new doll for Karen or powdered doughnuts from the convenience store to share with Kevin, because it’s their favorite treat.

Even though he will do nearly anything for money, he draws the line at eating Hot Rods. (Unless of course eating them would bring his family out of poverty or something...)

Kenny is genderfluid and pansexual. Mostly because he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, especially if their is money involved. Also wearing girl clothing occasionally was at first so he could had it down to Karen, but now he’d proudly admits he does like the look and feel of women’s clothing on him.

He has had pet rats, a pet possum, and raccoon. Currently he’s raising a baby flying squirrel he found abandoned in his yard, and nursing a robin who has a broken wing.

He wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.

Eric Cartman:

Never thinks things through, and always pays for his schemes one way or another.

Still has a horde of stuffies he keeps in his room and sleeps with. Even having tea parties with them, when his “friends” don’t want to play.

Is an asshole towards Kyle, because he has unrequited feelings for him, but doesn’t want Kyle to know. Most of his plans fall through, because he really doesn’t want to hurt or push Kyle away.

Knows that he should watch his weight and eat better, but subconsciously wants to get diabetes from his obesity so he can be just like Kyle and Scott. He hates that they get special attention to their medical problems at school and thus don’t have to participate in certain exercises in gym.

Cartman is sex repulsed, but is secretly gay. He can’t stand the thought of actually having sex with anyone and believes all intimate contact is rape. 

He once broke up Craig and Tweek when he spotted them kissing at Stark’s Pond, then went on a rant of how Craig was taking advantage of his boyfriend, scaring Tweek into thinking he got all of the STDs.

Kyle has force Cartman to clean up “Zaron” all by himself before, after Cartman broke too many rules they came up with after the Stick of Truth was thrown in Stark’s Pond. Although, Cartman made Butters do it for him instead, when Kyle went home.

Four other boys:

Tweek Tweak:

Wasn’t aware his parent’s put meth and other drugs in his coffee to test the blends into being their customers addicted, until Craig discovered what Mr. Tweak was doing. Though Tweek is too scared to report his parents, Craig has used it as a threat to get Tweek expensive things, like videogames and new brand named clothes.

Tweek is a wonderful cook and baker. He wants to change the Tweak Bros. Coffee, into a restaurant kind of like Tim Hortons, where they serve both coffee and homemade food. Though he is too scared to ask his father to put in a proper kitchen in the back of the store, for him to use. Instead he has convinced his mother to sell his famous cupcakes, he bakes at home.

Even without the coffee and drugs, Tweek would still have his twitching tick. It only acts up when he is stressed out. When he is calm, it’s barely noticeable.

Before he bought Stripe #4 for Craig, he was terrified of rodents, after he fell in love with Guinea Pigs and occasionally will discuss proper rodent care with Kenny. 

Though now he fears that Craig might eat Stripe one day, do to Guinea Pigs being a delicacy in Peru and not knowing what happened to the other three Guinea Pigs Craig has had before Stripe #4. That’s why Stripe is kept over at his house on weekends and not a Craig’s 24/7.

Tweek has a parrot named “Coffee Crisp”, because it’s his favorite snack and the first words the parrot learned. His parent’s bought Tweek Coffee Crisp, to help keep his paranoia in check. 

Coffee Crisp will repeat goverment conspiracy theories do to that fact Tweek listens to them on the radio in his room at night. Coffee Crisp also knows the name of over 150 different types of coffee related products.

Craig gave Tweek a hand knitted Chullo and shall that matched his own, but in green, for his birthday. Tweek is afraid he will ruin them if he wears them, so he only wore the outfit for a day before permanently hanging it up in his closet.

Tweek was questioning his sexuality, but has always been gay. He was just too paranoid about other things to focus long enough to realize this.

Craig Tucker:

Although he behaves like he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything, he cares deeply on the inside for his friends. He believes showing emotion is weakness and prefers to internalize everything.

He has broken down in front of only two people ever in his life. The first being Clyde after Strip #2 had died, and the second being Tweek.

Craig is aware he is adopted and his native homeland is in Peru. He’s half white and half Peruvian native, and was sent to the US for adoption after people started trying to worship him as the Guinea God.

He’s also aware that he is a god and has god-like abilities. He just doesn’t like to use them and prefers to live a “normal” mortal life. He is aware of Kenny being an Elder God and his immortality. He’s willing to teach Kenny how to be responsible with his powers if he ever find out how to use them.

Craig has eaten Cavy and knows how to make traditional Peruvian dishes that use it, do to being a deity in his homeland. He likes it on occasion, but would never eat a Guinea Pig that he intends to keep as a pet and has buried his previous Guinea Pigs in the back garden of his home. He even had little funerals for them where his friends attended.

Craig likes to knit and will spend hours in his room listening to music and knitting. He hides this from his dad, because it’s not a “manly” hobby. Though every christmas he gives his family handmade sweaters, scarves, mittens, and socks, as gifts.

He doesn’t like coffee like Tweek, but his favorite drink is French Vanilla Cappuccinos. Which he has with whipped cream added, do to his sweet tooth.

Craig can’t dance, but tries to at parties and has fun regardless at his failed attempts. It makes Tweek laugh anyway.

Finally like Tweek’s twitching, flipping people off is a tick Craig had developed. Do to internalizing all of his thoughts and feelings, he automatically flips the bird when he feels upset or angry over someone or thing.

Clyde Donovan

Is just as pervy as Kenny, but is straight. 

He has problems with over expressing his emotions and is always crying about something. He uses Craig as his emotional support constantly, and sometimes will sit eating ice cream and watching romance movies alone.

He is embarrassed by his colostomy bag and only his friends (and Mr. Macky) know about it. He has one do to surviving rectal cancer when he was five.

He wants to own his own mexican themed restaurant when he is older or a Taco Bell. He was very disappointed when the government canceled building a giant Taco Bell during the events of the Stick of Truth.

His favorite Raisins girl is Lexus and always request her to be his host when he eats there. He wants to ask her out, but is too scared she will reject him.

When the kids play “The Kingdom of Zaron” now, Clyde remains as a separate third faction and the main “antagonist” of the game, when the humans and elves aren’t fighting each other. He rules over all the kids that want to be “monsters” or non-human or non-elf. Humans and elves can join his side if they proved to be “evil” enough.

Clyde has worn women's clothing for fun before. He likes flowy skirts and dresses. He wants to go to prom one day in a dress and maybe convince his future wife to let him wear the bride’s gown to their wedding.

Whenever he hears that Tweek is having a “backing meltdown” he gets excited, since Tweek makes too much and usually shares by giving him three boxes of baking. He hides this from his dad who want him to be careful of his weight.

Token Black:

Likes to buy expensive things for Nicole and his friends. He has no idea the value of money and genuinely gets confused when his friend say they or their parents can’t afford something.

Kenny McCormick creeps him out, and he thinks his family just chooses to live in a garbage dump. Though he does get along with Karen McCormick and had bought her lunch a few times, since he thinks it’s cruel for her parents to not give her money or food for school.

He is the second person Clyde will run to when he is upset, though unlike Craig, he dosen’t really know how to react or comfort Clyde. He normally just stands there with Clyde crying in his shoulder, awkwardly patting his back saying “there, there...” until Clyde feels better.

Contrary to belief (and Cartman) Token doesn’t like listening to Beyonce or hip hop type music. He actually likes listening to old folk music and polkas. 

Weird Al Yankovic is his favorite entertainer and “Just Eat it” is his favorite song by him.

Token sometimes says racist things against his white friends by accident. After which he profusely apologizes if he catches himself or someone calls him out on it.

He rather play chess than play football or basketball.

[anastpaul]

Saint of the Day – 10 October – St Francis Borgia S.J. (1510-1572) Priest, Advisor, Missionary, Evangelist, Administrator par excelleance.   Born – Francisco de Borja y Aragon was the 4th Duke of Gandía, was a Grandee of Spain, a Spanish Jesuit and third Superior General of the Society of Jesus –  (28 October 1510 at Gandia, Valencia, Spain – 30 September 1572 at Ferrara, Italy).   His relics were translated to the Jesuit church in Madrid, Spain in 1901.  He was Beatified on 23 November 1624 at Madrid by Pope Urban VIII and Canonised on 20 June 1670 by Pope Clement X in Rome, Italy.  Patronages – against earthquakes, Portugal, Rota, Marianas.   Attributes – Skull crowned with an emperor’s diadem.

St Francis was born in Duchy of Gandía, Valencia, on 28 October 1510.   His father was Juan Borgia, 3rd Duke of Gandía, the son of Giovanni Borgia, the son of Pope Alexander VI (Rodrigo Borgia).   His mother was Juana, daughter of Alonso de Aragón, Archbishop of Zaragoza, who, in turn, was the illegitimate son of King Ferdinand II of Aragon.   His brother, Tomás de Borja y Castro, also became a clergyman, becoming the Bishop of Málaga and later the Archbishop of Zaragoza.

As a relative of Pope Alexander VI, King Ferdinand of Aragon and Emperor Charles V, joined Spain’s imperial court at age eighteen,  although as a child he was very pious and wished to become a monk, his family sent him instead to court.  He distinguished himself there, accompanying the Emperor on several campaigns.  The next year he married Eleanor de Castro, who bore him eight children.   In 1539, shortly after experiencing a religious conversion, Francis left the court but continued in public life as viceroy of Catalonia.   At this time under the influence of St Peter of Alcántara O.F.M. and St Peter Favre S.J, he progressed in prayer and the spiritual life.

In 1543, Francis succeeded his father as duke of Gandia.   He was much opposed to gaming and did not allow his servants to indulge in it.   He used to say: “Gaming is accompanied by great losses; loss of money, loss of time, loss of devotion and loss of conscience.”   The same aversion he had for the reading of frivolous books, even if they were not immoral.   He found his greatest delight in reading devout books and said:  “The reading of devout books is the first step towards a better life.”   At the period in which he lived the principal enjoyments of the higher classes were music and hawking;  and, as he could not abstain from them entirely, he took care, at such times, to raise his thoughts to the Almighty and to mortify himself.   Thus, when he went hawking, he closed his eyes at the very moment when the hawk swooped; the sight of which, they say, was the chief pleasure of this kind of hunting.

The Almighty, to draw His servant entirely away from the world, sent him several severe maladies, which made him recognise the instability of all that is earthly.   He became more fully aware of this after the death of the Empress, whose wondrous beauty was everywhere extolled.   By the order of the Emperor, it became the duty of Francis to escort the remains to the royal vault at Granada.   There the coffin was opened before the burial took place, and the sight that greeted the beholders was most awful.   Nothing was left of the beautiful Empress but a corpse, so disfigured, that all averted their eyes, whilst the odour it exhaled was so offensive that most of the spectators were driven away.  

St Francis was most deeply touched, and when, after the burial, he went into his room, prostrated himself before the crucifix and having given vent to his feelings, he exclaimed: “No, no, my God! in future I will have no master whom death can take from me.”   He then made a vow that he would enter a religious order, should he survive his consort.   He often used to say afterwards:  “The death of the Empress awakened me to life.”   When Francis returned from Granada the Emperor created him Viceroy of Catalonia and in this new dignity the holy Duke continued to lead rather a religious than a worldly life.   He had a fatherly care for his subjects and every one had at all hours admittance to him.   Towards the poor he manifested great kindness.   He daily gave four or five hours to prayer.   He fasted almost daily and scourged himself to blood.   He assisted at Mass and received Holy Communion every day.   When he heard that disputes had arisen among the theologians at the universities, in regard to the frequent use of Holy Communion, he wrote to St. Ignatius, at Rome and asked his opinion on the subject. St. Ignatius wrote back to him, approving of the frequent use of Holy Communion and strengthening him in his thoughts about it.

Meanwhile, the death of his father brought upon him the administration of his vast estates, without, however, in the least changing his pious manner of living.   Soon after his pious consort, who was his equal in virtue, became sick.   Francis prayed most fervently to God for her recovery.   One day, while he was thus praying, he heard an interior voice, which said these words: “If thou desirest that thy consort should recover, thy wish shall be fulfilled but it will not benefit thee.”   Frightened at these words, he immediately conformed his own will in all things to the Divine will.   From that moment the condition of the Duchess grew worse and she died, as she had lived, piously and peacefully.   St Francis, remembering his vow, determined to execute it without delay. Taking counsel of God and of his confessor, he chose the Society of Jesus, which had recently been instituted.   Writing to St. Ignatius, he asked for admittance, which was cheerfully granted.   But, to settle his affairs satisfactorily, he was obliged to remain four years longer in his offices.  Having at length, by the permission of the Emperor, resigned his possessions to his eldest son, he took the religious habit and proceeded to Rome. Scarcely four months had elapsed since his arrival, when he was informed that the Pope wished to make him a cardinal;  and, to avoid this dignity, he returned to Spain.   Being ordained priest, he said his first Mass in the chapel of the Castle of Loyola, where St Ignatius had been born;  and then spent a few years in preaching and instructing the people.   It would take more space than is allowed to us to relate how many sinners he converted, and how much he laboured for the honour of God and the salvation of souls.

While he preferred a quiet life of solitude, the Jesuits felt differently and promoted him so that he could use his great administrative talents for the church.   In 1554, St Ignatius appointed Francis commissary for Spain, where he founded twelve colleges and a novitiate.   The Jesuits chose Francis as their general in 1565.   His consolidation of the society and expansion of its ministry has caused him to be recognised as the second founder of the order.   He established disciplined novitiates in every Jesuit province, writing regulations and books of spiritual instruction for them.

Francis created a new Jesuit base in Poland and strengthened the community’s work in Germany and France.   Between 1566 and 1572 he launched the Jesuit mission to Spanish colonies in Florida, Mexico and Peru.   He maintained contact with the missioners by letter, advising them about their own spiritual lives and counseling them on strategy. Following is an excerpt from his correspondence:

“We must perform all our works in God and refer them to His glory so that they will be permanent and stable.   Everyone—whether kings, nobles, tradesmen or peasants—must do all things for the glory of God and under the inspiration of Christ’s example. . . . When you pray, hear Mass, sit at table, engage in business and when at bedtime you remove your clothes—at all times crave that by the pain which He felt when He was stripped just before His crucifixion, He may strip us of our evil habits of mind.   Thus, naked of earthly things, we may also embrace the cross.

Wherever our brethren may be, let their first care be for those already converted.   Their first aim must be to strengthen these in the faith and to help them save their souls.   After this they may convert others not yet baptised.   But let them proceed prudently and not undertake more than they can carry through.   It is not desirable for them to hurry here and there to convert heathen with whom they cannot afterwards keep in touch.   It is better to advance step by step and consolidate conquests already made. . . . They are not to risk their lives unnecessarily in excursions among unconquered people.   The swift loss of life in God’s service may be advantageous for them.   However, it is not for the greater good of the many for there are only a few labourers for the vineyard and it is difficult to replace them.”

His successes during the period 1565-1572 have caused historians to describe Francis as the greatest General after Saint Ignatius.   He founded the Collegium Romanum, which was to become the Gregorian University in Rome, advised kings and popes and closely supervised all the affairs of the rapidly expanding order.   Yet, despite the great power of his office, Francis led a humble life and was widely regarded in his own lifetime as a saint.

In 1571 the pope sent Francis to Spain and Portugal to help build an alliance against the Turks.   He grew increasingly ill on this ambassadorial trip and died after returning to Rome in 1572.

(via AnaStpaul – Breathing Catholic)