#which i know i already rambled about that but

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

So... I see this a decade after i decided to simply... Stop instigating conversations because i felt like im simply burdening others with my presence and that they actually felt annoyed having to hear from me and wished i wouldnt send messages.

The thing is that none of them ever approached me afterwards. When we saw each other after a while we would be ecstatic but there was a wall between us already and i dont know if its simply life going on and us being very different than back then, or that they truly didnt see me the same as i saw them (as my besties).

One time i met one of them (this one specifically was my best friend from first grade until twelve basically) on the street and i see that she's married and walking with her husband. Turns out the wedding was that sunday and i wasnt even notified of it happening or of the engagement. I wasnt mad about not being invited, but i was hurt for not even being notified! She then turned to her husband and said that im a friend of her from high school.

Its been a decade from high school so i can see why she said that, but that hurt me so badly that the moment i waved them goodbye and they disappeared around a corner, i collapsed and just sobbed. I was so heartbroken. It seemed that i was the only one who still thought of her as my old school's bestie or had thought of including her in any future milestones simply because she was so important to me.

So i dont know how i feel about this post. I understand where you guys are coming from and its in good intentions, but the main issue is that many kids who become the sole instigators were never shown that they can be vulnerable in front of their friends about this matter. It felt like its your duty and how you contribute to the group. And when it became harder and harder, the friends never questioned why you pulled away or asked for your wellbeing. It turned into a situation when you feel more like a nuisance than a leader.

Fortunately, i have now friends who instigate so much more than me and i keep telling them how i appreciate it and apologise for how terrible i am at texting back and that its never because i dont want them to text me. Its simply because texting or answering messages had become so hard for me and so mentally taxing i sometimes shut down when i see messages i need to reply to.

So rambling aside, as much as i appreciate your sentiment, i think a different approach would be helpful.

My approach (which is not better or worse, just a different approach) is to get comfortable with a 'friends for one day' reality. I go so many times to so many places and meet so many amazing people, we always say we'll contact one another and keep in touch and then never contact one another again, and that's alright.

You have to be comfortable with being friends without focusing on the 'keeping the friendship going' let people come and go. Those who truly want to stick around will stick around, and they usually have a much deeper connection with you that isnt dependant on who instigates the conversations.

My friends are those that mostly text in memes and reels since we dont see each other often. And i do the same in return. Its easier and relays so much more. We have proper conversations here and there, but our actual interactions happen physically. And they instigate meetups much more than i do and i always make sure that they know that i appreciate it. One of my friends and i also have some differences in opinions, so we have some long discussions.

I also have a friend who i dont text to at all but invites me to shabbat meals once in a while and i come over and its like no time had passed. I invite her back for bbq or shabbat as well, but thats also once in a blue moon.

Another friend is across the ocean so its mostly photos and small comments and talks about our lives and since the war began, she keeps checking if im alive and well.

Another friend is also across the ocean and we mostly speak about our realities of being jews or squeal over her precious daughter or make plans for when she finally comes to Israel.

So my friends arent part of one group but many branches of different aspects of my life. I would say i have around seven/eight of them that arent my current co workers (work friendship is also temporary and i accept that fully and enjoy our time together) and im truly blessed because i had let go of the desperate need to keep my friends together.

So please dont call us a bitch for not willing to talk about it. And we're certainly not mini community leaders, we're just people who are friends with those that never cared about reaching out first or affirming our friendship in any kind of way. Its not fair to put the expectations of reaching out onto the one who constantly did that. Friends who truly want to keep up a friendship will attempt to do so when they see that the other side isnt as present as previously.

Sorry im all over the place, im on my phone and its harder to articulate on it

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - chapter 1

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, drinking Wordcount: 5.4K A/C: another pregame treat!! need my girls to deliver tonight!! anyways, here is chapter one, this one is about to start a little slower and i'm sorry about that but i promise it'll pick up and get more interesting, i got big plans for this one y'all!! anyway please leave feedback/thoughts/reviews whatever for me, i love them :)

-

Before London

The Dallas roads are busy, stretching out for miles out into the horizon as I stare out the window. My lungs craved fresh air, itching to open it. But I knew the air outside would bring no such relief, the humidity of this time of year already bringing me one step closer to packing my bags and making my way back to Connecticut. Everyone told me to turn the AC on, but I was much too stubborn and stuck in my ways. My dad would have come over himself and turn it off if he knew I was considering turning it on in April - much too early for his liking.

I had been here for a week now, seven long days. Each one making me more homesick. I missed my girls. I missed my team. I missed the normal weather and the East Coast. It was so bad I was on the phone with my dad every night, complaining. I knew as much as he loved me, he was getting sick of it.

“Paige, let’s figure this out,” Britt’s voice comes through the speaker phone, five garment bags sent by her laid out on the bed, ready to be opened.

“What do you even wear to this sorta thing?” I ask, speaking into the phone. My hands are opening one bag after another.

“Baby I dunno, you just gotta pick something. What kinda vibe do you wanna give off?” Brittany asks sweetly as I place my phone on the bed in front of me, pulling my shirt off over my head.

“I can’t think, it’s too hot,” I complain, rubbing my face. “I hate it here, wanna come back.”

“Paige, you gotta push through this. Try and look at it differently, at least you like your teammates!” 

I whine and lie down, my back hitting the soft cotton of the sheets. “Do you think they’d let me take my sixth year?”

“Oh my gosh girl you gotta pull yourself together,” Brittany laughs, which in turn makes me laugh too. I knew I was being dramatic, my team was great, the coaching staff seemed amazing. But it was my first time living alone, I didn’t know what to do with myself and all this energy I had. I felt like I was two days away from jumping off the walls.

Lou and Arike had both taken me under their wing, and the few joint practices we’d had with the team the past week seemed promising. Not good, but like there might be potential for something with hard work. I was well taken care of and grateful for it, but the thing is at Uconn I was spoiled. I got to live with my best friends. To spend every moment with them, get on their nerves and not worry because in the end they were my sisters.

“Where are you going?” Britt asks.

“Some sorta steakhouse,” I answer, rubbing my eyes.

“Boujee or like… Texas?”

I snort, grabbing the phone from beside me.

“It’s a nice place I heard. But Rike been here for so long she mighta forgot what nice is,” I joke sitting back up.

“Then go with the blue bag.”

Unzipping it, I find a pair of black shorts, and an oversized dark green crewneck sweatshirt. 

“Ion know about this Britt it’s a lil… boring,” I mumble looking over the outfit. When did I last wear dark green anyway.

“That’s why you dress it up girl! Wear a collared shirt under it, put on some chains, some nice shoes, trust it’ll fit the vibe, you don’t wanna be doing too much. Have I ever let you down?”

I sigh. I could see the vision the moment she started talking. “No you have not,” I reply. “I gotta start getting ready. Thanks again.”

“Anytime Paige,” she answers and we hang up. I know silence can’t echo, but it’s so overwhelming it almost feels like that’s exactly what it’s doing. Storrs was always loud, lively. Now I had it so bad I was even missing KK’s neverending rambling. 

Quickly putting on a playlist to get rid of the aching pressure on my chest, I begin to get ready, rapping along to a Drake song loudly - but who cares I live alone now. I sleek back my hair, pinning it into a bun - the one hairstyle I knew how to do. I put on some diamond studs, and take my time picking accessories, choosing just the right silver rings to match the chain on my neck, a cross hanging from it. Of course, Brittany had been right. The outfit was great, not too much for a nice restaurant but still totally me.

“Shit,” I mumble to myself when I check the time, realising Lou must be waiting on me downstairs. Grabbing a white cross-body bag I run out the door, quickly making my way down where, just like I thought, the brunette was waiting, tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.

“Sorry I’m late,” I yelp climbing into the passenger seat. Since I barely knew Dallas, Lou had decided it was best if she drove both of us.

Shaking her head, the girl driving merges onto the road swiftly. “Not gonna be making a good impression if we bring our rookie to the party late,” Lou complains.

I scoff, leaning back against the seat and tapping on the back of my phone, feeling butterflies grow in my abdomen. I knew I made good first impressions, that people seemed to like me. I wasn’t called the ultimate rizzler for nothing. But it was still daunting, I was about to meet all the people who worked behind the team, behind me just so we could do what we do. 

The past week had been so strange.The change in dynamic was drastic. I had become so used to being the older one, the one to call the shots, to have so much wisdom to give. Almost naively so. All of a sudden I was back to being the baby - the one who didn’t know anything, who had to depend on others. I thought I was prepared. But the transition was hard to navigate. I didn’t quite know how to act, if I was honest.

“Yo chill, I’m not even that late,” I chuckle lightheartedly, looking out the car window, my eyes trying to find something worth changing my mind about Dallas for.

“Ten minutes is too much, we gotta pick up Rike too,” Lou complains, hands on the wheel. It was only April but the humidity made it feel like summer. “Were you late talking to that girl?”

“What girl?” I ask.

“That girl from last night!” Lou laughs, elbowing me.

I shrug, like I had no clue what she was talking about. A complete lie. I hadn’t been thinking straight ever since I saw her.

“Ohh you mean that girl downstairs!” I say sarcastically. The brunette next to me sees right through it though.

“Never heard your voice get so quiet and shaky I swear,” Lou says, a blush setting on the apples of my cheeks thinking back to last evening. “You were fully stuttering.”

“No way bro!” I groan, biting my lower lip so as to not laugh. Though I knew better. I was definitely stuttering.

I hadn’t seen much of the girl, just her face poking through the door into the hallway. But something about her took my breath away, I couldn’t look anywhere else. It was Lou finally elbowing me that made me realise I had been staring at the dark haired girl. She was so beautiful it physically pained me to look away, but with a struggle, I had done so. 

But then she spoke. And if I wasn’t trembling before, the lilt of her voice had me weak in the knees immediately. It was deep, yet simultaneously sweet. Nevermind the accent that hadn’t left my head all night. Lou made fun of me relentlessly all night because apparently, my voice was shaking when I talked to her. I think she was full of shit.

“You were, I don’t blame you,” the brunette murmurs. “She was hot.”

I kiss my teeth, looking out the window. “Don’t matter, she could be Zendaya and I still wouldn’t get into all that.”

Lou looks bewildered, eyes flickering between me and the road.

I grin at her, shaking my head. “Nah I’m staying celibate. Scout’s honor. Got me that Natty last season.”

It was true. For the first time last season I had not been involved with any girl - and it worked out pretty well in the end. It got me the ring. Adapting to a new team, new city, new life was already hard enough without fucking around. Girls had a way of making everything complicated.

“You? Celibate?” Lou asks, her tone skeptical. I suppose she remembers a different Paige from when we were both Huskies. I had changed a lot though, grown up.

“Trust,” I nod as we park in front of a nice apartment building, Arike making her way out and into the car.

“Yo,” she greets us, and I nod into the rearview mirror, meeting her gaze.

“Sup my rookie!” Arike grins and squeezes my shoulder. “You ready for tonight?”

“Aren’t we just gonna eat and go home?” I ask but Lou and Rike are quick to shake their heads.

“Nah these things don’t end till late, we know how to party here you know what I’m sayin?” The girl in the back grins.

“Don’t blame you, nothing else to do here,” I complain half-jokingly. 

“Yooo not too much. You’ll grow to like it,” Arike laughs, grabbing her phone. “Just don’t drink everything people offer you today, got it?”

“Yeah, everyone’s gonna be trying to get you drunk,” Lou chuckles. “My rookie year they had me almost blacked out.”

“Almost? You were blacked out. We had to carry you to bed.”

I laugh and sigh, rubbing my jaw, my nerves stirring within my abdomen. “Great.”

-

The restaurant is buzzing with people, an entire second floor reserved just for the Dallas Wings employees. Arike, Lou and I show up fashionably late, but to my pleasant surprise everyone’s too busy huddling around the bar, lining up for drinks. I smooth over my green sweatshirt, already feeling the heat get to me. How the hell was I supposed to dress for weather like this? It wasn’t even summer yet.

I walk over to Satou, who’s grinning widely at me.

“Look at you, our baby rookie. Let’s get you a drink!” She smiles convincingly. I glance at Arike and Lou behind me, snickering amongst themselves already. So it begins.

“Feels wrong to drink at a team event like this,” I tell the taller girl, guiding me towards the bar. I was more used to sneaking drinks into hotel rooms, doing our best to hide them from the coaching staff. Guess this is what growing up feels like.

“Nah, don’t worry. Everyone’s chill here,” Satou laughs and orders us two beers before I have the opportunity to interrupt and ask for a Shirley. Reluctantly I grab the beer, cheering with the girl next to me.

“To the saviour of the Wings!!” She jokes and I roll my eyes, shaking my head.

“Sorry, but could you check if they are Manzanilla olives?”

The accent. I immediately turn my back on Satou, my body working before my mind can as my eyes scan the room. And then I see her. The girl from the apartment underneath mine.

She’s standing at the other end of the bar, holding a black clutch in her hand as she talks with the bartender. Her dark hair is down, in perfect waves, not one strand out of order. The dress she’s wearing isn’t red, but more maroon, shade matching the red of her lipstick to the hilt. The one-shoulder dress leaves her left one completely bare, and the golden jewelry sitting against her light brown skin makes her sparkle in the moody lighting. No words would do justice, I know that much. My knees nearly buckle at the sight of her. This strange girl whose name I didn’t even know, yet kept haunting my existence here in Dallas.

“Oh they’re not? Then nevermind the martini, could I just get a glass of Chardonnay please?”

If I had been nervous before, then it was nothing compared to the way my stomach was stirring now. Which is insane considering I didn’t even know this girl’s name. Hell, I better just avoid her tonight. I’m not on my a game. I should just keep my distance.

“Paige! That’s the girl!” Lou is half whispering, half screaming over the crowd, incredibly obviously pointing at the dark haired girl. To my relief she doesn’t notice, too busy swirling the wine in her glass around and sniffing it. 

“Shut up,” I mouth to Lou as she walks up to me, Arike on her tail.

“What girl?” Arike whispers, already eyeing every woman over my shoulder.

I give Lou a look, widening my eyes and telling her to keep her mouth shut. But of course, it fails. I had no power here.

“We ran into this hot girl in Paige’s building yesterday and Paigey here got all shy and nervous.”

Arike bursts out laughing, and I’m pretty sure my face was going completely pink at this point. So I sip half of my beer quickly, letting the girls get over their laughing fit.

“You done?” I ask in annoyed, eyeing the girls.

Gasping for air, Arike nods and grins at me. “Well go get her.”

“She can’t, she’s celibate,” Lou answers. The shorter girl standing next to her scoffs, clearly finding amusement in that.

“Yeah, good luck with that. You’re the new hooper in town, gon’ be drowning in pussy. I was,” she says, sipping her beer. “The rookie year is crazy.”

“Oh trust, she was drowning in it at Uconn too-”

“Okay okay, chill guys,” I interrupt the conversation, Satou standing next to us quietly and chuckling to herself. 

“So which one is it?” Arike asks. Glancing over my shoulder I see the girl from downstairs talking to some guy around the same age as her. Just as I’m about to point her out, Satou and Arike are waving that exact guy over.

“Yo Trey!! My guy!!”

All of a sudden he’s walking over with her. I feel my face going red, my breathing growing ragged, my eyes quickly flicking to the floor. She was like the sun, as much as I wanted to I couldn’t look directly at her - it might blind me.

“What’s up, my favourite girls!” The guy - Trey, apparently - says brightly and dabs all of them up. 

“Ahh and the prodigy!” He grins, turning to me. I lick my lower lip and smile back, offering my hand. “I’m the guy with the camera, you’ll see me around. Trey.”

I dab him up, ignoring the tingling on the left side of my body where the dark haired girl is standing, evidently feeling as awkward as I was. Except she was better at hiding it, looking around the room with an air of confidence.

“Well I’m the one with the basketball, you’ll know where to find me. I’m Paige,” I flash him my most charming smile. Everyone laughs at my joke, except the girl beside me. I quickly decide that perhaps getting drunk wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Oh this is Zari, she’s new from England, Linda finally hired someone to work on the social media shit,” Trey explains, pointing to the girl between me and him. I blink stupidly when I look at her. Somehow she was more beautiful up close which made my throat feel tighter. I quickly sip my beer again, looking to the ceiling. Fuck, pull yourself together. I wasn’t this superficial - feeling like this just because someone was hot. Who knows, she might be the worst person you’ve ever met.

“That would be me, hi!” She says when I realise I was barely listening to Trey before, completely not making note of her name. She shakes everyone’s hand, smiling kindly. Fuck, are my hands sweaty? Better wipe them on my shorts first. I gotta make eye contact - I’m sure a couple seconds will be enough. It might be all I can bear.

The girl turns to me, her right hand extended. I glance at it, gripping it gently. Her hand shake is surprisingly firm, but I barely notice, feeling as if my skin is on fire. The moment our eyes meet I look away, knowing that everyone and their mothers could tell I was blushing right now.

“I forgot your name,” is all that comes out of my mouth, so clumsily I wanna hide behind the bar and never come out when I realise how rude it sounded.

To my shock she’s not taken aback at all by my bluntness, instead holding herself with an almost regal air. I wasn’t sure if I was intimated or turned on - either way I was overcome with a desperate need to make her like me. Surely I was off to a horrible start.

Our eyes meet again. Hers are dark green, deep and rich like the pine trees back home. I can feel myself wanting to sink in deeper, to bask in their familiarity. To feel the sting of cold air and smell the snow falling from the sky and to bask in the scent of pine all over me. Before I know it I notice her glossed lips move, but my ears barely pick anything up. An I? And I think there was an A at the end? You gotta be kidding me.

“I- Ivanna?” I stutter. She chuckles softly, as the others around us snicker amongst themselves. Bitches. 

“No, darling, let’s try again,” she smiles, her tone so sweet it’s bordering on condescending. I fucking swoon at it. “Izara.”

I nod, not sure if the heat on my face is from how hot and humid it was inside the restaurant, or from the public humiliation in front of this gorgeous girl. I chuckle mostly to myself, rubbing my jaw and looking around to break eye contact finally. Far too distracting.

“Izara,” I repeat, noticing Satou, Arike, Lou and some of the others laughing at my clumsy behaviour. I was just begging Izara didn’t make note of why I was acting a fool. 

“Zari is better,” the brunette says, a slight teasing tone to her voice. I breathe heavily out my nose, trying to get the blush to settle from my cheeks.

“Zari, got it.”

“Took you long enough,” Arike teases, making everyone laugh, except Zari who just smiles at me.

“Guys, not all of us are used to the Texas heat. It messes with your head,” she says with enough authority in her voice to make everyone around us stop laughing and give me sympathetic looks.

“Uhh yeah, it’s hot,” I answer bluntly, my voice shaking a little as I rub my neck. On top of the mess I was, I could feel myself sweating. I have to get home as fast as possible. Or not home. But back to the apartment I was staying in for now, until the moment I could go back home to the East Coast.

“Shit, I’m Paige by the way,” I say, realising I never introduced myself to Zari. She scoffs, waving me off.

“Paige, it’s my job to know who you are,” she points out. It’s funny, and I want to laugh. But nothing comes out of my mouth, I’m simply unable to, her proximity leaving me completely discombobulated. So I just sip my beer.

“Right.”

-

Paige Bueckers hates me. The moment she met me I could tell. Maybe she was offended by the fact I didn’t recognise her last night. Figures, a star like her would have a huge ego. Still, I had one job tonight. To make her like me. And I had done the exact opposite. I could tell by the way she avoided my gaze, the way she barely wanted to shake my hand, abruptly pulling it away from my grip. She barely talked to me, wrapped up in a conversation with everyone besides me. I couldn’t afford to disappoint my boss, if I did it would be bye bye Dallas and hello London. 

I’m sitting between Trey and another colleague, Ava, both caught up in a lively conversation as I cut a piece of my steak, wrapping my lips around the fork and chewing on it. Glancing up from my plate, I see Paige throwing her head back as she laughs with her teammates, her entire demeanor so much more lively now that I wasn’t close to her. A slight irritation was growing in me, watching the carefree way she’s joking around with the people around her part of the long table. Who was she to make up her mind on whether she liked me so fast. I was the kind of person you grew to love. I’m sure she would as well.

“Okay everybody!” Curt Miller stands up clinking his glass with the cutlery. Suddenly everyone goes quiet, including the blonde. For a second our eyes meet, sending a strange jolt around my body. Blinking, I shift my gaze to the man, clearly ready to give a speech.

“Alright alright,” he laughs, “I just wanna thank everyone for coming here tonight. I was never good at these so let me keep it short. This is gonna be a big, exciting year and I’m so grateful to the Wings for giving me this opportunity. I know I’m a new face to some of you, but I’m in great company,” he grins and points to Paige. “And Linda here mentioned something about a new media employee too!”

Like on cue Linda stands up a few chairs to the right of me, nodding. “Yes Curt, we’ve got some young blood to help this year all the way from England. Izara here, should help us grow our social media reach.”

I smile, trying to focus on appearing together and poised, some people glancing towards me. 

“Awesome news!” Curt grins as Linda sits back down. “With two young talents I’m sure we’re gonna have a hell of a year,” he says, glancing at both me and Paige. I see Arike rub Paige’s shoulder, clearly excited and happy about how the lottery turned out for the Wings this year.

“Now since I’m boring everyone out of their minds why don’t you two say a few words.”

Pause. I feel a panic rise from somewhere deep in my abdomen. Don’t get me wrong, I had no issue with public speaking, no issue with performing. What I did have an issue with was improvising. I was the girl who planned, who made lists, who used to finish her essays the day before a deadline. With a plan I was golden, but to expect me to say anything, planless, was causing jitters. I was just hoping it didn’t show on my face.

Mine and Paige’s eyes meet, and I immediately know that I wasn’t as composed as I wanted to be. That she knew I was panicking. Bet this is just gonna make her hate me more.

Instead, to my surprise, she clears her throat and begins speaking with an easy confidence.

“Uh well, way to throw us under the bus Curt,” she jokes, immediately making everyone chuckle, including me. “Guess I know what kinda season this is about to be.” Another round of laughs around the table giving her time to scratch the back of her neck as she thinks. With a slight smirk on her face she continues.

“This is a big moment for me. I grew up with the sport, already knew I had a chance to go pro when I was eight. I’ve been waiting for a while to get to the league and to finally be here… It’s surreal. I feel really blessed, really grateful,” she says looking at her plate and then letting out a sly, quiet laugh. “Crazy that I’m drinking with the coaching staff right there, I’m so used to having to hide it.”

I chuckle with the rest of the group. There’s something about her, a smoothness, a charm that makes it impossible not to like her. Even improvising like this she seems completely in control, like she knows she’s got everyone wrapped around her finger. It’s impressive. I can’t look away.

“Geno didn’t let you drink?” Curt asks lightheartedly, making Paige’s blue eyes widen.

“He would’ve put belt to ass, lemme just say that.”

More laughter. Paige looks around meeting my gaze.

“Zari, I know you got that cold right? So maybe I should just speak for you so you have a voice tomorrow?”

Huh? I furrow my brows looking at her confused, but her eyes won’t budge, boring into mine. And then I realise. She’s trying to let me off the hook.

“Yes please,” I smile back, looking down to my lap. Something about the way she did that all for me, picked up on my nerves, found a way to get me out of it, was making my insides flip. You wouldn’t do that for someone you hate I suppose.

“I gotchu,” Paige grins, looking back to everyone around the table. “I think we’re both just really grateful for the opportunity and really excited for the season. Anyway, thanks guys.” 

Everyone claps and I do too, my heart warming at the way Paige Bueckers had just saved me. 

“Wait, you're sick?” Trey whispers. 

“Uh, a little.”

-

“Hope you feel better Zari!” Ava says as I wave bye, walking towards the exit.

“Thanks guys, I’m sure I will,” I say, knowing I felt just fine. Great even, after a few glasses of wine. As I step out into the evening, I hold my fur coat in my hands, too hot to put it on. To my surprise I see Paige standing right outside the restaurant, scrolling on her phone. Interrupted by the tapping of my heels, she lifts her gaze, the intensity of her blue eyes surprising.

“Hey,” she smiles, avoiding looking at my face again. She was really giving me mixed signals.

“Hi there,” I say, walking closer. “Thanks for rescuing me earlier.”

She looks at the parking lot, a sly smirk spreading across her face.

“Nah, you’re good,” the blonde grins, diamond studs in her ears sparkling. “Not a fan of speeches?”

I shrug, taking that as an invite for conversation. “No I can certainly be… If you give me approximately two weeks to prepare. Minimum.”

Paige chuckles, nodding to herself. “You’re that kinda girl huh?”

“Desperately so.”

She shifts on her feet, looking for something to say.

“That’s a good trait to have, I try to plan too but usually doesn’t last for longer than a week or two,” she explains. I nod knowingly.

“My brother’s a bit like that,” I sigh. I was already missing him.

Paige turns to me, looking for my gaze.

“You got a brother?”

I nod, “Yeah, he’s younger. Your age.”

She’s taken aback. “Hollup how old are you?”

“Turned 25 last month.”

“Damn,” she says before thinking. I scoff, my eyes widening, though finding amusement in her reaction

”Are you calling me old?” I ask with a serious tone, her face immediately going bright red. 

”No, no no, not at all. You look… great.  Amazing, and like. That’s not even old, I'm just trippin’. I just assumed you were my age but like a year is nothin-” she rambles, tripping over her words.

”Paige I’m taking the piss,” I laugh. She stops, looking at me confused.

”You’re what?”

Oh right, Americans. ”I’m joking around.”

She laughs. ”Taking the piss?”

I laugh too, the air immediately easing between us.

”I’mma start using that,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me. 

”You’re welcome,” I grin.

She scoffs. ”I didn’t say thank you.”

”You should,” I demand, more seriously, meeting her blue eyes. She immediately folds, blinking her long lashes.

”Thank you.”

I suddenly feel hot, warmth rising to my cheeks. I quickly look back to the ground, the intensity of her gaze too much right now.

”Hey, uh… I think we live in the same building,” she murmurs, watching the sky. Shit, she had recognised me, of course.

”Yeah… I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you. I really should have,” I quickly explain, feeling a little abashed but trying not to let it show.

”No, I just meant, I ordered an Uber. You need a ride?”

Oh. So she wasn’t mad. She was offering me a ride.

”I’d love one. Are you sure?”

”Totally,” Paige answers, smiling at me softly. She fans her own face, trying to find any relief for the heat. 

”Shit it’s hot,” the blonde groans. ”Do you mind if I take this off? I got a shirt underneath.”

”Oh, no go ahead darling,” I tell her.

With a sigh, Paige’s hands grip the back of her green sweatshirt, pulling it over her head. As she does my eyes can’t help it, flickering over her lower abdomen where both shirts have hiked up, showing a sliver of pale skin and black boxers peeking out of her shorts. Something about it makes my throat go dry. I’m not exactly sure what. The feeling almost unfamiliar to me. 

”That’s so much better,” Paige groans with relief, fixing the white oversized button up, chains resting against her chest. I feel my ears growing hot, quickly averting her gaze.

-

She’s not horrible, on top of being gorgeous she’s fucking great - funny, sweet, charismatic. Would be so much easier if Zari was an asshole like I had hoped earlier. I could feel butterflies in my stomach every time she looked at me. That familiar warmth that I knew too well.

We walk to the Uber together, and I make sure I open the door for her - I didn’t know her that well, but I could tell she was classy. On a whole different level than me. 

I climb in after her, unbuttoning more of my shirt for some airflow. For a second I think I catch her staring, but I knew it was unlikely. She was definitely giving me straight girl vibes. Of course my stupid ass was ogling after a straight girl - nothing new to me. My eyes immediately land on her thighs, her legs crossed and pressing together as she sits next to me. Okay, get a grip Paige.

”So… How you liking Dallas?” I ask, unable to take the silence in the car. 

”I haven’t seen much of it, just moved the other day,” she answers, her voice low but smooth, I could’ve listened to her talk all night. ”It’s very humid.”

”Damn that jetlag gotta be hitting hard huh?” I ask, looking at her.

”I look tired?” She asks, offended. An immediate panic takes over, my hands gripping the sweater in my hands. Shit.

”No you look fucking great. I would’ve never th-”

”Paige. I’m joking.”

Oh. I let out a sigh of relief, chuckling awkwardly. I look out the window, shaking my head at myself. I really needed to chill.

”Taking the piss?”

She lets out a loud, bright laugh, grabbing my forearm. The gold rings on her digits sparkle as her long, manicured nails dig into the white shirt. Immediate goosebumps rising underneath on my skin tell me I’m completely fucked.

“Exactly!” She gleams, her smile wide. “You did so good.”

That. I need to hear her say that again. I clear my throat to interrupt the bad thoughts, feeling Zari’s hand move off me, skin tingling as the weight of her touch lifts.

We pull up to our apartment building, both of us climbing out.

“I can transfer you some money for the ride,” Zari suggests as I let her into the building, eyes falling on her ass just for a second. Okay, no. Look away.

“No, Ion need you to,” I tell her sternly as we begin to climb up the flights of steps, her heels tapping against the tile of the floor. The sound echoes off the walls until we stop by her front door, silence draping over us, making me painfully aware of the way my heart was pounding in my chest.

“Well,” Zari smiles, turning to me, her green eyes even more prominent with the dark makeup surrounding them. Only then I notice how catlike they are, sharp and alert. Challenging almost.

I wanna say something smart, something witty. Something to make her laugh, or blush. I’m rummaging through my brain for anything coherent at least.

“I’ll see you at work,” she says, opening her door. I was running out of time.

“You’ll know where to find me,” I stupidly let out. Zari turns to look at me one more time and nods.

“Don’t stomp too loud please.”

With that she gets in, leaving me there with nothing to do but blink at the closed door and notice the flutters around my stomach. Rubbing my jaw, I slowly climb up one more flight of stairs, mind spinning around the girl. Completely, utterly out of my league. It only made me want her more.

-

taglist: @wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @sierrale8ne @lupinqs @lovegalor333 @d3arapril @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @bueckersfive @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch

[lloydskywalkers]

barometric pressure

it's finally getting cold here and actually feels somewhat like winter so!! Zane on the brain, i rewatched s11 again and had feelings about the complete and total lack of addressing everything that went down in the Neverrealm, etc, so here's a shorter snippet of Zangst (that isn't even angst really it's just snow ramblings oops)

Exactly four months, six days, and an indeterminable amount of hours (it is ten) after they returned from the Neverrealm, the clear, crisp skies of late autumn give way to the gray, overcast start of winter.

It’s a painfully familiar sky, one Zane knows nearly as well as he knows himself. The graying clouds are as clear a signal of snow as anything, though he’s already well-prepared.

Vex’s whispers returned to his ears around the same time the first, familiar chill began seeping through the monastery walls. 

For others who are not Zane, though, snow could still mean happier things. He still recalls the expression on Kai’s face the first winter he’d spent with them, snowflakes dotting his eyelashes as Jay wildly demonstrated how to craft a lopsided snowman. So Zane hopes, however weakly, that the rest of them can welcome the snow as enthusiastically as they have in the past. 

His hopes are neatly shattered, however, when the first thing Cole does is set straight out for the woods and return with enough firewood to burn down the entire mountain.

“What are you gonna do, roast every marshmallow in Ninjago?” Jay gapes at him.

Cole rubs the back of his neck, firewood precariously balanced in one mitten-covered hand, his nose a shade darker than the rest of him from the growing cold. “Just thought we should be prepared,” he says. “In case the power goes out, or we just, you know. Wanna have a fire.”

Zane feels the room slip a little colder from his words alone. Or perhaps it’s his imagination — it’s been active, of late. For example, Vex and his whispers are several dozen realms away, and Lloyd is choking on the hot chocolate he’s drinking too fast instead of staring lifelessly at him from a frozen prison. Kai and Nya are fighting over the few coats they have that aren’t torn or stained or covered in what’s either glitter or the fragmented remains of their last enemy’s vehicle, not encased in blocks of ice, voiceless and empty.

Cole is…now distracted and giving him concerned looks, while Jay struggles to keep the firewood from spilling over his arms. 

Ah. He’s drifting, again. 

“How about we start the fire — in the fireplace, Cole, help—”

“Are you okay?” Cole asks bluntly, absently adjusting his hold on the firewood as Jay stacks the loose logs back in his arms. 

“Of course,” Zane says. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

A crucial error. He knows better. Leaving things at ‘of course’ is a risky move, but it’s certainly a better option than flat out asking Cole to pounce. 

Jay makes it first. “Yeah, ‘cause when I’m fine, I disassociate staring out the window for hours all the time.” 

“I was not disassociating.”

“Uh-huh. Hold on, lemme find a dictionary. Right next to ‘disassociate’, there’s a nice little picture of—”

“Lloyd,” Zane says. “You will find my image next to ‘emotionally removed’.”

“That is dissociating, and Lloyd’s next to ‘traumatized’. Nice try, though.”

“We’re all next to traumatized,” Cole mutters, finally giving up and dumping his stack of firewood next to the door. Zane quietly calculates how long it will take Kai to set it ablaze, along with how much it will cost to replace the door if it ends up collateral damage. 

“Not me,” Jay says, hands on his hips. “I’m next to optimism. Which you could all use, you know.”

Cole stares at him in disbelief. “Optimism? You’ve predicted our deaths like, six times in the last month alone—”

“It’s called a joke, where’s your sense of humor?”

“Jokes are only funny if you aren’t screaming them, and — oh no you don’t.”

Zane sags in defeat as Cole snags him by the back of his sweater. He was so close, too. Normally, Cole and Jay’s arguments are the perfect time to make an escape. Either they’re getting more observant, or he’s getting careless. 

“Look.” Cole lets go of his sweater, crossing his arms in front of himself. Zane can’t tell if he’s warding off the chill, or warding off the same dark thoughts that have haunted them all since the snow began sticking. “I know we’re not…there, anymore, so it’s different. But if you’re having a hard time—”

“I am not.”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” Cole huffs, his forehead still scrunched up in worry. “But if you were to hypothetically be having a hard time, I’d hope you could talk to us. Any of us. It doesn’t have to be me, just…” He looks away, staring out the window wistfully. 

“Winters have always been fun, with everyone,” he finally continues. “Remember the first time it snowed, when it was just you and me and Jay?”

Zane avoids his eyes. He does remember, of course. He remembers everything, even the things he wishes he could forget. But the memories of those early days, the first few months adjusting to living with others in the monastery, have yet to be tainted with any kind of darkness. 

Jay had been near-comically scrawny back then, hair pressed resolutely against his forehead from his countless attempts to get it to stay there. Cole had been smaller, too — a bit sharper around the edges, his walls a bit higher, but still open enough to make Zane feel like a part of their little team. He still remembers Cole’s laughter, observing Zane’s terrible first attempt at sculpting anything from the snow, Jay his long-suffering teacher. 

It had been the first time snow had meant anything fun, instead of the perpetual silent blanket that cut Zane off from the rest of the world. 

And now here he is, years later, with all of Jay and Cole’s efforts gone to waste. 

“You should come outside with us, after Cole finishes his firewood mountain,” Jay suddenly says, a bit breathless. “See how your snowman skills are shaping up.”

It takes Zane a moment. His mouth is full of refusals, his mind stuck on the fact that the last shape he made from snow was an enormous, vicious ice dragon that nearly killed everyone he loves. 

But Jay looks painfully hopeful, and a bit too nervous that Zane will say no, and Cole’s edges are so soft now, Zane fears his own sharp edges will only hurt him. 

“Give me a moment,” he says, forcing his tone to sound light. “And I will. I will join you.”

Cole’s eyes light up, and a beaming smile breaks across Jay’s face. 

“Sweet!” Jay claps him on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go drag Nya out of hiding, but the snow’s piling up in the courtyard, so if we get out early enough we can ambush Kai with snowballs when he comes out.”

Cole rolls his eyes. “I’m not digging you out of your snow grave this time,” he calls, following after Jay. 

“Spoken like someone who wants to take on Nya in one-on-one combat!”

“I’m not insane, I’m not doing that either!” 

Zane hesitates, left alone in the hallway. He crosses his own arms against the sudden chill, tiny stabs of regret already making themselves known. 

It is easy to lie, but what will happen when he actually joins them in the snow? What if the icy chill sets in, miles of white all around, and he loses himself again? 

The others weren’t there. They know his role in the Neverrealm, of course, but none of them saw the monster he let himself become. The depths of his cruelty, his coldness, what he was capable of — all of it remains Zane’s secret to keep. 

Well. 

That is a lie, and with it lies another significant reason Zane should avoid setting foot outside. His presence will only ruin things. 

Yet the quiet, aching part of him seeks out the exception anyways, because deep down, Zane is just as selfish as any other person. 

Lloyd looks little better than Zane feels, his eyes glued to the graying skies with the same look of faint dread Zane stared the drifting snowflakes with. His knees are drawn up tightly to his chest where he sits on the sofa, his mouth pinched as he picks apart the already-fraying edge of his scarf. 

His expression softens when he sees Zane, mouth curving up into a faint smile. 

“You get cornered, too?” 

At his brief look of confusion, Lloyd nods at the thick jacket Zane’s wearing. 

Zane looks away. “They seem to think it will be fun. A snow day.”

“Mmh.” Lloyd turns back to the window. With a sigh, he slides his legs out, standing as he throws the threadbare scarf around his shoulders. “Guess we should get out there, before Jay starts building his nightmare snowmen in the courtyard.”

Zane blinks at him, taken aback. “You’re joining them?”

“Duh,” Lloyd frowns. “I wanna have fun, too.”

“Ah.” Zane isn’t sure if what he feels is guilt, envy, or some odd mix of the two. Confusion, he finally decides on. “It doesn’t…you’ll be alright, in the cold?”

Lloyd’s expression falls, but he doesn’t look away. He fiddles with the edge of his scarf, as if turning words over in his head. 

“I’ll be okay,” he finally says, in the quiet, softer way he speaks now.

He used to be louder. Zane remembers, down to the exact cadence of his voice — straining a bit too low for his throat, acting a bit too old for his age. Less…reserved. 

Younger. 

Then Lloyd smiles, and Zane reminds himself that Lloyd’s voice is also lighter, these days. It’s been growing more so, ever since the last of the Oni attack was cleared away and the unhealthy pale left his skin. Lloyd’s quicker to laugh and easier to poke at. Slower to step into the role of leader, preferring to linger behind with the rest of them, as if he can soak up their warmth like a sadly starved sponge.

“I don’t mind wind,” Lloyd continues. “I like volcanoes. I think I’ll be fine in snow.”

He worries his lip, eyebrows furrowing. “The question is whether or not you will.”

Zane startles. “That is not—” He closes his mouth. The words do not come easily, or much at all. How can he make Lloyd understand, that he has no right to fear the snow? When snow is his element. When any pain caused by it is only his fault, in the first place. When Lloyd still bears the scars of frostbite, when Kai’s hands tremble in the cold, when Jay watches Cole with worried eyes and Nya frets over the water heater each night. 

Lloyd’s hand settles tentatively over his own, a bright burst of warmth that quells the tremors Zane hadn’t realized run through his fingers. 

“How about this,” he amends. “We can either stay inside and steal all Cole’s marshmallows for our hot chocolate, or you can come outside and help me fix Jay’s ugly snowman?”

Zane looks down. It’s a kind trick Lloyd’s using, one he’s learned well. Simple decisions — one a retreat, one a cautious step. 

A part of him still balks at the idea of stepping out into the cold. Vex’s voice lingers in the freezing air, the reminder of bitter ice beneath his fingers and the cries of his friends. 

Kai’s laughter shatters the silence, muffled through the monastery walls but no less clear. He can hear Nya’s quick follow-up, a round of foul cursing that would have Sensei frowning at them all. 

Zane lets out a breath. 

It is selfish. It is self-centered and short-sighted, and it is all but an insult to what he’s done to the people of the Neverrealm. 

And perhaps Zane is a terrible person, after all.

But Zane is not a coward, either. 

And Zane is fortunate enough to have a family, one who would lie and steal and cross realms and frozen wastelands for him, and he thinks, perhaps this once, he can be selfish for their sakes. 

Squeezing Lloyd’s hand briefly, he nods. “I suppose it would be cruel to the poor snowman, to leave him in Jay’s hands.”

A smile splits across Lloyd’s face, a faint echo of the boy who dyed his uniform pink. 

“Okay. Pixal’s got a scarf for you, then.”

Pixel does indeed have a scarf for him, and it is perhaps the most disastrous thing Zane’s ever laid eyes on.

“I don’t understand what happened,” she says, staring at the scarf in his hands. Her face screws up in frustration, lips set in what could be called a pout, if he didn’t know better. “I followed the instructions to the letter. My slipknots were perfect.”

Zane carefully places the scarf around his neck, wrapping the crooked, colorful mass of fabric around as many times as he’s able.

It ends up being about four, and he wonders briefly how many stores Pixal bankrupted of purple yarn. 

“I love it,” he tells her. “Thank you.”

Pixal’s face breaks into a bright smile. “It’s warm, isn’t it? I wanted to be sure, that it was warm.”

Ah. The many layers make a bit more sense now, and Zane’s heart aches. 

He does not deserve this, but the scarf still sits around his neck. Lloyd still waits for him by the door, endlessly patient and hopelessly trusting. 

Kai still beams when he sets foot outside, blinking snowflakes from his lashes as he waves, moments before Nya dumps a bucketful of snow over his head. 

Jay still lets him reshape his snowman, only scowling once at his critique before asking him which of their family they should recreate in snow. 

Cole still smiles, when Zane sweeps out that same warm smile in the snowman that only just resembles him. 

And Nya finally lets her hourly crisis over the water pipes go, handing him a snowball instead and instructing him to let Kai have it. 

He doesn’t know the answer to Lloyd’s question, exactly. Whether or not he’ll be okay, when the snow falls heavy and the reminder of what he’s done presses heavier. 

But he does know that the cold that followed him from the Neverrealm does not reach him, not even as he’s tackled into a heavy drift by Cole halfway through their snowball fight. 

And perhaps, for now, that can be enough. 

[spdrvyn]

YOU'RE HERE, THAT'S THE THING — [ wc: 1.7k. college au. fluff-ish? ] nothing cute about uni life. nothing to romanticize about pulling off all-nighters. unless... ?

now that i think about this is the first miguel fic i've written that's not adjacent with spiderverse canon world-building wise 🤔 also kinda silly of me to write a college fic when i'm not even in college so be warned i'll sound probably like a dumbass but hope you guys enjoy anyway!

7:23PM in the evening. Twenty hours until your essay was due.

The blonded hues of the setting sun reflected onto your laptop’s screen, currently open with a completely blank Google Document and nary a draft or outline in sight. As the ice in your half-empty coffee had almost thoroughly melted, you realized that you were completely fucked.

Originally, there was a study group that you were intended on joining somewhere at the start of the week. Hell, you guys shared Notion calendars and made an entire group chat. Only when you courageously sent a message last night asking for a rain check on the plans, you were left on read and down one-hundred dignity points.

That’s how you ended up here, waiting for the adrenaline from the impending deadline to set in. The condensation from your drink wets your palm uncomfortably as you take a sad, bitter sip. Someone could be writing a story about your defeat, writing a ten-page analysis about it, and submitting it at least three days before the deadline like a normal person with a sense of urgency.

When you shut your laptop and concede to the pressure, Miguel walks in to your shared dorm. With thick textbooks and an open backpack slung over one of his shoulders, he pauses at the sight of you. “I thought you’d be out.”

The reminder that your group abandoned you sours your mood even more, you tersely reply: “They ghosted me.”

“Oh,” Miguel tries to sound sympathetic, but it’s obvious that he’s also struggling with a final of some kind with how he ushers all of his belongings to the table you’re currently occupying. He’s told you before that he rarely ever joins study groups, which makes sense. You’ve noticed he’s self-reliant and efficient to an almost terrifying degree when it comes to his academics, awake at ungodly hours of the night to pinch the highest grade that there is. If anything, it’s more likely that he’ll offer to tutor other people.

“What’s on your roster for tonight? I’ve got an essay,” You swiftly put on your document tab again, motivated by how he’s already flipping through his books and copying down notes on his tablet. God, you wished you could just start studying like that.

“Final tomorrow, haven’t started reviewing yet. I basically spent the last two days at the lab for my other final.” He’s writing at a speed that should be considered superhuman, all while he’s answering your pesky questions.

You don’t want to move to another spot, because it would seem rude. Not like his presence is unwelcome, his studiousness just makes you really, really envious. Also the fact that both of you are majoring in completely different subjects.

Majoring in Arts in Literature, while he majors in Genetic Engineering can cause difficulty whenever explaining plans to each other. Miguel puts in the effort to not confuse you with the STEM jargon while you try not to ramble about your current readings and explaining your interpretations of them to someone else instead of writing them down on paper to, you know, submit.

Either way, it hasn’t caused any big miscommunications with being so different and all. You hope he doesn’t mind you beginning to working with him too, as you shyly type a thesis statement into your assignment. Another sip of your coffee, sounds of Miguel scrawling, and you think you may be ready to take this assignment head-on.

~

12:40AM into the night. Fifteen hours until your essay is due.

Shockingly enough, you were able to finish three pages out of five. The grammar so far is probably going to drag you down by fifteen points and you usually send it to your friends to proofread, but it clearly isn’t an option given what time of the day it is right now. It’s still a lot better than the end you saw for yourself when you were left dangling on the edge of failure by your study group.

The caffeine had completely worn off by now, and your coffee had been drained somewhere around an hour ago. When that happens, you usually start to get antsy and it’s even harder to keep the momentum going and when that happens, you take a break and go for a walk or something.

Which is what you’re about to do, as you stand up, but you realize that Miguel is sitting still as a statue in front of one of his books and his eyes scan the words on the page, over and over again. You can’t tell if he’s also losing focus or if he’s knee-deep in focus.

“Miguel,” He sighs when you call his name and the noise makes you wince, fearing that you’ve upset him. “Uhm, I’m going to take a walk. Do you wanna come with?”

It’s an offer that you thought for sure he wasn’t going to take.

What you don’t expect however is for him to slam his reading shut, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose before getting up from his seat. With a huff of, “Sure.”

“Oh- we can go for a coffee run if that’s what you want. I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”

“Ok. Me neither.”

“Great, that’s- that’s great.”

~

Both of you stew in the (semi) comfortable silence as you make the trek from your dorm room and out to the expanse of the campus.

You realize how brisk a walk can become with Miguel considering how abnormally tall he is. Granted, you recognize his subtle effort to slow down for you when he notices how winded you got after only five minutes on the way to the gas station.

It’s a new height that you’ve reached with him, not like you never wanted to grow closer with him or anything. He is your roommate after all, so it only makes sense. Although despite your love for reading that has fender-bendered into a Literature degree in the making, you were never too great at reading people. Miguel is one of the hardest people to read considering his outward stoicism, and both of you being naturally introverted didn’t help at all.

Still, this was the perfect time in your life to make new friends and life-lasting connections. Besides you would also consider yourself pretty pathetic if you wouldn’t be able to make a new one out of your roommate, A.K.A someone who is confined to a room with you for a whole school year. Literally no other choice but to do so.

You wonder if he feels the same way too, but asking each other of your first impressions is a conversation that is really only befitting for people that have been together for years. A status that you have no idea that you’ll ever achieve with him someday.

Though you are quickly broken out of your kind of depressing spiral when Miguel opens the door to the store for you, with a muttered ‘thank you’ you behold the fluorescent lights and hint of smoke. The walk to the coffee machine is instinctive, and you pluck a bag of spicy chips from the shelf on the way. Miguel follows suit, only he picks a bag of pretzels and a pack of gum.

The dispenser chokes out a splatter of coffee into your plastic cup and you flinch at the noise, Miguel spares you a glance but goes back to fidgeting with the pointed edges of his pretzel bag.

“So, what’s your final about?” It’s a stupid question being completely transparent, but fuck it. You’re bored, and the silence only gets more uncomfortable the longer both of you keep quiet.

“Genetic inheritance, the traits passed down from a parent onto a child. That kind of thing,” He muses. “And you?”

“Oh, Les Miserables essay. Five pages total.”

“Long book, and long film.”

Your cup is nearly on the tip of overflowing so you quickly slide it out and put one under for Miguel. “Yeah, I had to do a re-read because it’s been a while. I only finished around two days ago and I started it again at the beginning of the month.”

He gives you an honest chuckle, you take it and you think you’ll remember the sound forever. “One of my, uh, friends sat me down to watch the movie. Fell asleep halfway through, but I do remember it being decent in the parts that I was awake.”

“Well if I can find a totally legal recording of the stage play, maybe that would pique your interest more.”

When you look up at him, he smiles and it might be the happiest you’ve seen him ever since becoming acquainted with each other. It’s not a lot, but you feel over the moon over a small talk about your stupid essay.

…Your stupid essay!

You cut the moment short by haphazardly closing the lids on both of your coffees, you hand it to Miguel who starts to emanate your hurried energy and the walk back to your dorm is very swift.

~

Morning. Some time before your essay is due.

That is what you can assume anyway, the sun is back and its rays peek at you from the gaps in the blinds. Your hair is a frazzled mess as you lift your head off of the pillow which is perched up against the armrest on the sofa, the blanket on top of you shifts, and this was also… definitely not where you fell asleep last night.

You were expecting neck and back pain, along with a mild headache once you woke up. As you came to the sloppy completion of your work, you called it a night, slammed your laptop shut, and decided to just sleep right then and there. Doing your night routine and getting into bed would simply be too much time and work when you probably wouldn’t even be getting that much rest anyway.

There’s a fresh glass of water on the coffee table and a sticky note from Miguel, who you could only assume was the one who put you here.

‘Had to head out early for my exam. Good luck with your essay, there’s food on the counter.’

You slump back into your makeshift bed and pull out your phone from your back pocket, there’s still seven hours until your essay is due and you only need around two for revisions.

Maybe you could sleep in just a little longer, dream about conversations that will never happen, cafe dates that never come to be. But after last night, rather earlier this morning, those odds shift in your favor.

[mingoooossii]

ATEEZ comforting you after you have a rough week.

Ot8 x reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort, lots of hugs, reader is overwhelmed in most of these, mentions of exams(scary ik), kinda corny tbh, also not proofread so there might be some mistakes.

A/n: i used most of my braincells 4 this 🫠 yea also this purely depended upon my mood so that's why some of them are just thoughts while the others are full blown conversations. will most likely rewrite this is in the future I think. Also I'm planning on opening taglists so if you want to be included just lmk!! (for ateez or any other group)

Words: 3.1k

Requested ♡ Ateez masterlist.

"When you feel like you're nowhere, Let it go 'cause I'll be there for you..."

⋆˚࿔ Hongjoong

• whenever things get a little too much, you'd usually suck it up

• it wasn't healthy, you know that yet you couldn't afford to fall back now so you did it anyway

• him, who's very sensitive to your every little changes in mood, of course, noticed it too

• you tend to sort of shut down whenever you get overwhelmed, causing you to get moody and quiet, often leading to minor arguments with him

• but he understands (being prone to overworking himself, he was never too fond of the after effects)

• but that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it

• ”you're taking a break.” “But I need to finish this-”

• he cut you off by closing your book, making sure to bookmark it before picking you up from the chair

• ”have you looked at yourself yet? you're about to collapse.”

• you fell silent at that, letting him carry you over to the bed, feeling your irritation dissolve at the stern tone, yet you could pick up on the hint of worry.

• ”but I need to finish it, or else I won't catch up on my work. I'm already behind in-”

• your worried ramblings was silenced by his lips pressing against yours for a brief moment

• ”i vaguely remember someone pulling me out of my studio, by my ear, when I was overworking myself.”

• he muttered, sitting beside you once he put you down on the bed, his hand reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear

• ”you should listen to your own advice, you know?”

• you could feel the tears pricking your eyes at his words, making you feel helpless and frustrated

• ”there's just…so much. i don't know if I'll ever finish it…what am I gonna do?”

• you mumbled, your lips trembling as you tried to bite back your sobs

• his expression softened at your words, pulling you into his embrace, stroking your hair

• ”i know. but exhausting yourself is only going to make it harder for you to catch up.”

• ”let's take a break, okay? you need to rest, let your mind calm down first.”

• you felt him pull away from you, his hand wiping your tears away

• ”how about we go for a walk outside? some fresh air would help, i think.”

• you thought for a bit before nodding. you definitely wouldn't be able to get anything done while you were in this state.

• he finally let a small smile break free, standing up, moving to get your shoes for you

“An ice cream could help too, i've heard. and there's a parlour that just opened up, down the street. i think it's fate.”

⋆˚࿔ Seonghwa

• "are you okay?"

• he asked softly, worry lacing his tone as he watched your sullen figure drop down onto the couch.

• "I'm okay."

• your curt response came out as if it was clockwork, removing your bag before burying your face into the comforter

• you obviously weren't. Well, it'd been like that for a while now

• he sighed before coming over to you on the couch. He knelt down and reached out to take off your shoes which you forgot to

• you tried to sit up, suddenly feeling guilty

• "i got it...-" "Let me."

• you paused before laying back down, feeling a bit nervous at his tone of voice. Was he mad?

• "I'm sorry... it's just lately everything's been going downhill..."

• you mumbled, tears pricking your eyes as you let your emotions of the past week finally weigh you down

• "i c-can't seem to do anything right and...i can't muster up energy for anything...i.."

• you sniffled, waiting for a response. He didn’t reply, instead placing your shoes neatly to the side before standing up and sitting down next to you on the couch.

• "Hwa..."

• a tear rolled down your face as he wrapped his arms around you, resting your head beneath his chin.

• it was incredible how the warmth of his embrace contrasted the gloominess you've been feeling all week.

• "I'm not mad. Why would I be?"

• he spoke quietly, his eyes shutting for a moment, his hand tracing patterns on your back

• "and you know... people don't always have to be okay..."

• "if that were the case then, i think we'd be superhumans..."

• you let out a laugh at his words, feeling your heart lighten slightly

• "i guess..."

• he smiled at the pleasant sound, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand moving to wipe your tears away.

• "so don't put yourself down, i won't let you."

• he whispered, his expression gentle yet firm before pulling you close again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

• "I'm still gonna worry though. Because I'm a human, a human who happened to be really really really in love with you."

• you chuckled, feeling exasperated yet so so light hearted

"Well, then...this human loves you too, a lot."

⋆˚࿔ Yunho.

• exams were coming up.

• and with exams came all nighters.

• you knew it wasn't healthy at all but your brain refused to listen to you, conjuring up various 'what ifs' each one, bleak.

• yes, exam seasons usually had you stressed.

• he knew it too.

• don't get him wrong, he knew you'd do well (with you being one of the most hardworking people he knows, there was no doubt about that)

• but he knew you couldn't help it. Despite all the assurances, a small part of you always doubted if your efforts were enough

• and he was worried. Of course, he was but he couldn't push you to take breaks even when he knew you needed it

• because he thought it'd be better to be distant than to have you completely shut him out

• but he wasn't sure anymore.

• even more so when he came upon you staring down at your books with teary eyes. You couldn't take it anymore.

• "I'm just so tired"

• you sobbed, burying your face into his chest. He had carried you to the bed from your desk, despite your protests but now you were glad that he did.

• "i know, love."

• he whispered, his hand rubbing your back soothingly, his heart clenching at the sound of your sobs. How could he have let it get this bad?

• but one thing was sure, he wasn't about to let you go through this alone.

• "Take a break, hm?" "But i...-"

• "No buts."

• he replied firmly, his expression showing his worry

• "Baby, it's admirable, it really is...you work so hard and I'm so proud of you..."

• "but I'm worried."

• he mumbled, his voice soft and low, tightening his hold on you

• your words faltered as you sensed the genuine concern in his voice, a twinge of guilt washing over you.

• "You always seem so tired and i...i can't help but feel frustrated for not being able to do anything..."

• his tone was soft, holding you close as if he feared losing you.

• "i don't want anything to happen to you..."

• you heart clenched at the tone of fear in his voice. you felt him lean back, taking your face into his hands carefully

• ”no matter how important it is, pushing yourself beyond the point of breaking will never do you any good.”

•he whispered, his voice quiet as he stroked your face gently

•you stayed silent for a moment, his words going through your mind. you could feel the toll these last few days had on your body. crashing out wouldn't be far at this point.

•so you nodded, reluctantly agreeing, not wanting to worry him any longer and also because you knew you needed this.

•he smiled, seeing you agree (although reluctant) relief coursing through him finally.

“Good. Now, how about some tea? I'll…let you get back to it after a break and this time, I'll help you.”

⋆˚࿔ Yeosang.

• something was wrong.

• he wasn't used to seeing you so...pensive.

• that slight slumping of your shoulders, the way you zone out mid-convos and the quiet sighs that escapes you whenever you think no one's looking

• no, he definitely noticed. It was so unlike you and...he wasn't sure how to react.

• would you be mad if he were to bring this up?

• or would you pretend like there was

nothing wrong?

• he knows that you value your independence very much, often preferring to deal with things on your own

• he respects that and doesn't push in anyway, not wanting to make you uncomfortable

• but he'd also feel a bit guilty (thought it was never his fault) feeling like he was failing as a boyfriend for just watching from the sidelines while you struggled

• though initially, he'd be a bit hesitant and cautious when approaching the matter

• he wouldn't directly confront you but lets you know that he's there for you

• "I'm here, if you want to talk."

• he'll also try to distract you with other activities, whether if it's like a walk in the park or a simply game

• he'll try his best to keep the atmosphere quiet and positive so you'll be able to relax your mind even if it's just a little

• and when you finally open up to him, he listens.

• he doesn't really respond in between and just lets you rant while listening intently

• and you know he is from the way his hand gently squeezes yours in assurance whenever you come to a pause, letting you know that whatever you were feeling was valid

• he isn't that big on physical affection but won't hesitate to shower you in it if you were to ask

• he's just a green flag over all

"I'll be here if you need me. I'll always be here."

⋆˚࿔ San.

• "come here."

• you hesitantly glanced at him before immediately looking away once you met his eyes. How does he know you so well?

• "choi y/n, come. here."

• he repeated, his tone a bit more firm now, spreading his arms wide and looking at you expectantly

• "what's with the choi?"

• you sighed, half-laughing, but you walked towards him, your emotions bubbling up again.

• "you own my heart, so you might as well take my last name too."

• he said softly with a small smile as you finally stepped into his arms.

• "seriously..."

• you mumbled, your voice breaking towards the end as you pressed your face into his chest, tears starting to flow again

• "there we go..."

• he guided you to the couch before sitting beside you. He wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you into him and gently ran his fingers through your hair, whispering.

• "you did a good job, hm? I'm so proud of you."

• "it doesn't feel like that though..."

• you laughed. his words, though comforting, stung a bit, reminding you of your failures yet again

• he frowned, picking upon on the hint of self depreciation in your tone

• "how dare you say that about the love of my life? Do you have any idea how much they mean to me?"

• he spoke, leaning back slightly to look at you, his hand reaching up to pinch your cheeks

• "what're you on about?"

• you chuckled, avoiding his hand, not knowing whether to be amused or exasperated at his sudden burst out

• "I'm serious, my love's the best, the smartest, the kindest, the most hardworking, the prettiest...the list goes on..."

• he continued, his voice firm as he made you face him, wiping your tears away

• "but you know what i like the most about them?"

• he asked, his expression softening considerably

• "they never give up. no matter how hard it gets, no matter what anyone else says, they never give up, because they know that they can get through it..."

• he stroked your face, his eyes never leaving yours, the genuineness in them halting your breath for a moment

• "I know you can..."

• you felt your heart tighten at his words, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. You hugged him again, tears forming again.

• "why do you always have to be so nice? I hate you..."

• you sobbed, though there was no real heat behind your words

• he chuckled, rubbing your back soothingly

"It's okay, in return, I have lots of love to give you..."

⋆˚࿔ Mingi.

• he knew that things have been rough for you lately

• while he was worried, he wasn't sure to how to bring it up without making you feel even worse

• so he had hoped you'd come to him first

• though nothing prepared him for the sight of you sobbing into your hands infront of him, when you did

• initially he was at a loss as to what to do (it's that T in him)

• but he could feel his heart breaking as he watched you desperately trying to wipe your tears away which seemed to be flowing endlessly at that moment

• instantly he pulled you into his embrace, his arms wrapping around you so tightly like he wanted to shield you from whatever that was hurting you

• "I'm sorry..."

• you weren't sure what he was apologising for and neither was he

• though he wasn't good with words in this situation, he was there for you

• and he hoped you'd know it too

"don't hold back your tears, just let it all out. I'm here."

⋆˚࿔ Wooyoung

• he’s been walking on eggshells the entire week and he wasn't sure how long he could he take it

• your obvious avoidance of him, the curt texts, (hell, he'd prefer it more if you argued with him than this) it was all getting ridiculous

• so, what was the next step? obviously, confronting you.

• though it wasn't going like how he expected it to go.

• ”I'm sorry, i thought it'd be better to avoid you than to let you get affected too”

• you mumbled, your voice a bit hoarse as you brought your blanket covering you, closer

• your face was red, a sheen of sweat covering your forehead as you supported yourself on the wall.

• these past few weeks had taken a toll on you, worse than you thought and before you knew it, you had a fever.

• ”Affect me-...are you serious?”

• he spoke before he could stop himself. really? that's what you've been worried about?

• “I've been worried sick! you think I'd care about some damn germs?”

• you fell silent, feeling a bit guilty now.

• he huffed as if he was in disbelief. he wanted to say more but paused, his eyes falling on your pale face

• he sighed before stepping in, his hands reaching for your face.

• “you're burning up…”

• he muttered, worry lacing his tone as he supported you, making sure to close the door before leading you to your living room, sitting you down on the couch

• you sniffled, rubbing your nose as you watched him bustle around your apartment

• it was weird, seeing him so serious like this, different from his usual playful self

• and it only made you more guilty for worrying him

• ”I'm sorry…”

• he paused, hearing your words, his movements slowing down as he closed the door to your shelf after retrieving the medicine

• “you know? these past few days, I was wondering whether I did something. I couldn't figure it out.”

• he spoke up, returning to the couch, kneeling infront of you, placing a hand on your lap

• “besides, what if you were in your death bed? of course i need to be here.”

• he added, a small smirk forming on his face

• “Hey!”

• you countered, your eyes wide, hitting his shoulder making him laugh out a small ‘sorry!’, lightening the mood slightly

• “no but seriously, you should've told me you were sick. i would've came running.”

• “you always take care of me when I'm sick. I want to do the same…”

• he muttered, his playfulness dissolving into softness, his hand squeezing yours gently

• you felt your heart melt at his words, warmth coursing through you, the pleasant kind this time.

• “Alright then, can you…make me your special chicken soup?”

• you asked, a hopeful glint in your eyes. you’ve been craving it actually.

• his smile returned even more brightly as he stood up, turning to make his way to your kitchen

“I'll make you the damn best chicken soup you're gonna ever have! You won't even need medicine cause it's gonna heal you up right away.”

⋆˚࿔ Jongho

• he knew you were having a rough week

• considering how moody you've seemed lately and you also didn't talk much

• and you were usually the 'affectionate' one in your relationship so the lack of it made him pause

• he was concerned, obviously, but didn't voice it directly or push you to open up

• he trusted that you'd come to him if there was something

• however, it seems like you finally reached your breaking point

• he regretted not talking to you sooner when he came home to you crying one day

• he immediately engulfs you into his embrace.

• you seemed a bit surprised to see him, not expecting him to come back so early

• and you felt bad to burden him with your emotions, surely he had a lot on his plate as well-

• "stupid, you should be worrying about yourself."

• he mumbled, his voice annoyed yet... concerned, pulling you closer when you tried to move away.

• he won't respond with words when you start to pour your worries out

• but you know he's listening with the gentle but assuring squeezes he gave your hand whenever you come to a pause

• well, it wasn't like he really had to talk when his embrace spoke volumes more than any words ever could.

“Don't feel bad for feeling bad, you don't always have to be okay, it's completely normal.”

[xxgoldie]

MY LOVELYYYY!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! 100 FOLLOWERS?? im so proud of you!!! gosh 🥹🥹

may i request mammon with S??? i know hes one to show off his most coveted and prized possessions :3

HERES TO MANY MORE FOLLOWERS MY DEAR!!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 kisses 4 my goldie 🥹

THANK U LOVEY !!!! and thank you for the excuse to talk about mammon hehehe I love him your honour

main event page - event masterlist

S: Show-off - do they like to show off to their s/o?

Mammon is a show-off to his Core. He tries to act subtle about it, like he's just naturally so cool and he doesn't even need to try, of course you're smitten! But not-so-secretly, he lives off of your praise, he basically glows at every compliment, even if it's given through giggles at his antics. He'd definitely challenge his brothers and random demons to arm wrestles when you're around, especially if you've shown attraction to his strength/arms (n how could u not). If he loses (which he does sometimes, its becoming his mission to beat Beel), pls comfort him n tell him that naturally he must have let them win, the Great Mammon isn't just strong but also benevolent (n u got a nice look at his arms either way), it'll cheer him right up. In the end, what he really craves is reassurance and your eyes on him.

He'll also show you off constantly. He will always refer to you as his human + he loves public dates and PDA so he can brag to the whole Devildom how amazing you are and that you're His. He'll deny it if anyone brings it up, but if you listen to his flustered grumbling, he definitely said something about how it's normal to want to flaunt his treasure. Also, it comes with the territory of dating the Avatar of Greed, but he loves making sure everyone knows you're spoken for. He is the second born, you could count on one hand the amount of demons for whom it wouldn't be a death wish to mess with something he cares about, but he likes seeing when they wish they could. Its very much a "you can look, but don't even try to get close" dynamic.

(side note, he gets so flustered and sappy when you're the one showing him off. but I fear I am rambling already)

[wirewitchviolet]

So I was already sitting down to ramble about something, and turns out this post and this big reply under it tie in pretty well, so, here we go.

There are enough bespoke issues trans people justifiably feel very passionate about, and enough different experiences different trans people have that it is damn easy to end up in a huge fight because one person tried to make a nice simple statement for a clueless cis audience, but viewed through another person's lens it reads like some kind of attack. And it certainly never helps that bigots are actively out there constantly trying to co-op messages and sew infighting that any statement no matter how clear and good WILL get weaponized.

Before I get into the above, the go-to example I was planning to use was "you don't have to transition to be trans." There's a ton of ways you can read that which are great and worth echoing. For instance, "hey, if you've worked out that people got your gender wrong, you are trans and can come hang out in the trans clubhouse and ask for advice and all that without proving it through medical intervention."

Or, "hey don't be a weird gatekeeping creep who only recognizes people's gender if they don't jump through a particular medical hoop like taking a particular medication or get a particular surgery, which might not be something they even want due to risks, side effects, or not seeing it as a problem to begin with, and/or might not be something they CAN do anything about, because the typical medical treatment would not work on them for any number of reasons/is prohibitively expensive/too socially dangerous to go forward with in their current situation/is only even done by like a couple dozen specialists in the world who are booked out years in advance and many of whom actively discriminate against all sorts of potential patients."

You can see how it's nice to have a short catchy phrase. BUT it's absolutely a reality that awful bigots these days are going with the wildly bad faith and not even remotely true reading of "it's OK to deny transition-related care to trans people, because they don't actually NEED it!"

And you know, regardless of where you're encountering this phrase, you should always bear in mind those points about being totally valid and welcome in the community without a signed doctor's note, and how it's completely valid to be, oh, a woman who's hung like a horse and proud of it and such women shouldn't be treated like they need to go see someone about that, give people the benefit of the doubt that they're using it in such a sense if there's any chance they are, and at the same time be on the lookout for bad faith creeps misusing it and taking whatever steps are necessary to prevent them from to or about any trans person again unless/until they somehow manage to stop being a hateful piece of garbage and somehow become a decent human being.

Phew. All THAT out of the, way, I take a fair deal of issue with seeing the comment above me saying "the 'not transgender' people in the poster are clearly intersex" because holy hell is that a bad faith reading. All the concerns regarding intersex kids following that jumping off point are super valid and worth mention, of course. Doctors are constantly looking at baby's junk, going "huh, that doesn't look right, lemme do a quick surgery I'm not even necessarily trained in to get this looking more like whichever configuration I personally prefer the aesthetics of here, that probably won't cause any long term memory problems or trauma and there's almost a 50/50 shot I'm guessing right about what this kid'll want things looking like down here in a couple decades!" And that is just incredibly messed up. As is the practice of just throwing, say, testosterone boosters at someone perceived to be a teenage boy who doesn't seem "manly enough" to someone, which is a general queer kid concern, sure.

But none of that is going on in this poster. What's going on is kids getting hit with puberty-related symptoms they do not want (specifically boobs beards and voice changes), clearly stating this, and asking for medical help to make them not happen. If we wanna play Occam's Razor with the kids plainly labelled as "not transgender," boys growing breasts is called gynecomastia and a quick Google search confirms that... it is completely useless as a search engine because it's giving me 20 conflicting reputable-looking sources ranging from 1% to 70% of teenage boys. Facial hair on cis women is also really freaking common, to a point where it being relatively rare if you're white specifically makes it feel more like a racism thing than anything.

The real thing to remember though is that the obvious reason this poster exists is to get people who are completely uneducated on any of this and have been steadily exposed to propaganda from transphobes for their entire lives to the point where they have a hard time imagining trans people as actual human beings to consider the concept of HRT from a clear perspective by taking us out of the equation for a moment and just making them try to empathise with kids dealing with some of the same stuff, and it has to make that point in less time than it takes someone to finish walking past this telephone pole or wherever else someone might place this. And... OK if I'm really honest it's probably still too wordy and reliant on people having SOME idea of what being trans even means, but it's pretty good within those restrictions! Don't overthink it! Really don't project stuff that absolutely is not actually on there onto it! Focus more on actual bigots and doing something about what they're doing than nitpicking people who are doing good effective activism work you'd phrase differently!

This is the first time i’ve seen a pro-trans poster in a long time and i hope whoever put it up is having a good day, it made me feel a little less alone.

Hamilton, New Zealand

[dandylovesturtles]

Now that 2024 is coming to a close:

1) Of everything you've made this year, which ones are you the most proud of?

2) What are a few of your favorite things (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(Gonna apologize in advance that this answer won’t have specific links because I moved fast)

1. Well, this year I finished I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good, which was a major accomplishment for me! It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I was really proud of myself for sticking it out to the end. It got way bigger than I ever expected, and big thanks again to everyone who came on the ride with me.

Of the things I started this year, my favorite has been the emotional support water bottles AKA Room Fic. Kind of insane to think I came up with the first one while eating lunch and dropped all my plans for the afternoon to write the whole thing in one day lol! I hope to get the last followup done soon, I’ve just had a little trouble getting my mojo.

There’s another project I started this year that I hoped to have out already but maybe sometime in the first part of next year. I’m excited to share it when it’s done!

2. Oh boy I’ll try to get everything!

I of course enjoyed some ongoing projects this year, including Replica AU by @kathaynesart, Sep Leo AU by @dianagj-art, 2 Arms Left by @intotheelliwoods, Adagio in Green by @boxfullaturtles, and Empyrean Weeping by @cupcakeslushie! Also shoutout to the @tizeline Sep AU where Donnie is the most chaotic only child, and @vangh17a ‘s Wanderer comic which is beautiful and intriguing.

@remedyturtles broke all our hearts with Firefight this year and I had a great time teaming up during the AU Comp! Also LOVED their fic about third man syndrome, but I’m always a sucker for Leo and his papa.

I love everything @goodlucktai has ever written but I especially loved the recent A Team fics and also the Archer AU! Gio is so precious

On the subject of lost siblings, I am privileged to be the beta reader for @kiaxet ‘s fic Siblingquest. Cissy is also precious, and I’m really excited about Kia’s future plans for the story!

And there’s just been a ton of great art this year from so many people, including @e-turn @trilobitepunch @koolaidashley and so many others. I know I’m missing so many people but this community is just full of talented, amazing artists!

And finally, my biggest love and shoutout for this year goes to @untitled-tmnt-blog , who not only makes GORGEOUS art pieces, but who made me a whole physical BOOK for IMBI!! Seriously the most touching thing anyone has ever done for me. PLEASE check out untitled’s art (and writing!) because everything she does is amazing.

And so many others who have talked with me about this fun show and who listen to me rambling about my endless AU ideas. You are all so cool. Here’s to 2025!

And thanks for the ask!

[carisc4pshaw]

Unveiled

In which Elle finally reveals the truth about her sexuality to one of her best friends, Derek Morgan and introduces her girlfriend (Fem OC) she’s been hiding from the team (fluff!)

word count: 3.8k

tags: female oc, elle greenaway, delle friendship, jelle friendship, prentaway friendship, elle x female oc, lesbian elle greenaway, bisexual elle greenaway, coming out, sexuality, jemily, secrets, secret relationship, elle in love, wlw, wlw couple, wuhluhwuh, mentions of girls night and drinking, previous jelle kiss

no warnings

notes: I wanted to write Elle a coming out story for a while and I thought the best way to do it was including Derek as I love their friendship. I hope you enjoy, there is some fluffy couple stuff between Elle and the fem oc at the end. (I always send fics with I love yous pls sorry guys!)

—————————————————🩶——————————————————

Elle walked into the bullpen a few minutes late a smile on her face and a light blush on her cheeks. Heading over to her desk she greeted all of her team members in proximity to her with sweet-sounding ‘hello’s’ and ‘hi’s.’ She hung her black leather jacket over her chair and pushed her favourite black shoulder bag under the table with her foot.

“Morning Spence,” She grinned at him taking a file from the top of her pile and pulling out a pen from her desk that Penelope had gifted her on one of the days leading up to her 28th birthday.

“Elle you’re happy,” He checked his watch, “For 8:44 am, you hate mornings.”

“Not anymore, I had a great morning.”

“Coffee for the princess?” Derek asked bringing over the cup.

“Keep that for yourself, I had a cup. I’ll make myself some tea,” Elle said getting up and walking to the kitchenette with a spark in her step.

“What’s going on with her?” Emily whispered over to Derek.

He shrugged back, “I’ve not seen her this happy since… actually I’ve never seen her this happy.”

Elle leaned against the counter waiting for the kettle to boil, “Have we got a case today?” The question was more directed at Emily since she knew JJ would have told her about it already if they had one.

“Yeah but it’s local we should be done within the day,” Emily answered.

Elle finished making the tea and picked up the cup, “Oh great thanks.”

She placed the cup on her desk, took out her phone and sent a quick message.

A few seconds later her desk phone rang and she answered it almost immediately.

“Elle Greenaway speaking.”

The others couldn’t hear the other person on the phone but Elle was giggling almost the entire time and every so often would tell the other person she had to go but the conversation would continue. The call lasted 13 minutes before she hung up and went back to her file and sipping on her tea.

Half an hour later the phone rang again and Elle answered, “You’ve got to stop calling me. I’m a busy working woman.”

This time the call only lasted 6 minutes before she hung up and realised Derek was watching her.

“What?” She said typing some of the information from the file into her laptop.

“We’ve only been here an hour and you’ve had two calls.”

“And?” She asked still not looking over at him.

“You hate the phone, Elle,” Derek observed.

“I don’t hate the phone,” Elle rolled her eyes finally looking over at him.

“Actually you do,” Spencer spoke before continuing to ramble, “Hey did you know Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray simultaneously invented electronic sound transmission devices? It came down to a race betwixt the two-“

“Yeah, and Bell beat Gray to the pattern office by a matter of hours. Common knowledge,” Elle finished.

“Why are you acting so weird?” Derek watched Elle’s body language as she leaned back in her chair turning to face him once again.

“We’re sitting with a guy who knows there are eight hundred kernels of corn on the average cob,” Elle started pointing at Spencer.

“Graded in sixteen separate rows,” Spencer finished not looking up from his laptop.

“And you’re calling me weird?” She pointed at herself a smile with a slight smirk now covering her face.

“You’re getting some loving aren’t y’a? You got a boyfriend,” Derek tried to profile her.

“You’re basing this on what exactly? The fact that I don’t like the phone? That’s all you’ve got, That’s your best? You’ve been a profiler for how long Derek and that is… that’s weak, that’s weak.”

“What’s weak?” JJ asked walking into the room, Elle’s eyes following her and she began to walk past.

“Derek thinks Elle has a boyfriend,” Spencer said but Elle quickly interrupted him.

“Nothing,” she said, she and Emily getting up to follow her to the round table.

“Nothing, see you just denied it,” Derek said getting up to follow them.

“And do you?” JJ asked in a slightly teasing tone.

“It’s more fun not to answer that question.”

“That right there is a yes baby. I knew it. I told you,” Derek said catching up to the women and Spencer who was following closely behind them.

“She didn’t really admit to anything man,” Spencer added.

“Thank you,” Elle glanced at Emily who was looking at her with a knowing look which JJ didn’t pick up on when she looked between them both.

“Reid trust me you’ve got a lot to learn,” Derek said as they walked into the room taking their seats at the round table.

——————

JJ presented the case of a serial killer who drowned his victims in motels. Since it was local Garcia was able to search for some leads from the police department while the team were getting the brief.

“Reid, Prentiss. You check out the first motel and see if anyone that fits the profile has been seen there. Greenaway, Morgan check out the second location. The rest is us will stay at the department, Garcia continue to track credit cards,” Hotchner ordered.

Elle and Morgan separated from the team, Elle drove to the location and after both speaking to receptionists on different shifts they discovered the unsub hadn’t been to this motel yet. They waited in the motel car park in case this was where he would bring his next victim.

“So,” Derek bit into his burger, “Whose the boyfriend?”

Elle sighs, “There isn’t one.”

“Princess I’m not stupid, I can tell by that smile,” Derek took one of her fries.

“Oh really?” Elle laughs, “I think you are.”

Elle’s phone rings but this time she doesn’t answer. She types out a message to whomever she’s been texting and calling all morning before looking back at Derek.

“You’re blushing! Why won’t you tell me?”

“It’s more fun that you keep guessing,” Elle shrugged.

Derek looked out of the car window silent for a few seconds, “Is it a woman?”

Elle didn’t answer, she’d never heard someone actually ask her that before. She dated a popular girl in college so they kept things private and she knew Emily knew she had a girlfriend now because she had exceptional gaydar.. and she had seen them together once in the parking lot after work but she had never asked questions.

“Elle? I asked you if it is a woman?” Derek repeated then thought about it, “No you totally had a crush on me at the start it can’t be.”

Elle snapped out of her thoughts, “In your dreams. I did not have a crush on you.”

“You didn’t?” Derek looked slightly puzzled.

“You asked me out on a date, I said no,” Elle reminded him.

“I thought you were playing hard to get. Maybe I should have known you didn’t like me, your eyes were always glued to JJ when she walked into a room.”

Elle choked on a fry, “What are you talking about? No, they weren’t.”

“They were baby girl, you may not know you like women but your eyes don’t lie. You had a crush on JJ.”

Elle rolled her eyes, “I know I like women but I didn’t have a crush on JJ at least not a big one. Okay, we kissed once but then Emily came along and stuff happens… and I’ve said far too much.”

“Woah woah back up what?” Derek’s eyes were wide.

“What part?” Elle gave him a shy smile.

“All of it? I’m not shocked that you like women, but JJ? You kissed her?”

“Derek you’re a gossip, but yes we were having a girl's night and we kissed,” Elle shrugged.

“And that’s how you realised?”

“No, I knew before JJ, I had a girlfriend in college.”

“No kidding, isn’t Penelope at girls night?” Derek tilted his head confused, if Penelope saw she would have said something to him he thought.

“Yeah she was sleeping, well we thought she was sleeping but she was all giggly around us both for a few days. I’m surprised she didn’t say anything.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me,” Derek pouted causing Elle to laugh.

As Elle was about to reply she looked out of the car window catching a glimpse of a man that fit the description of the man they were looking for.

Once they caught him, they made their way back to the unit meeting JJ, Hotch, Emily, Spencer, Gideon and Rossi before heading back up to the bullpen.

In the elevator Elle rode with Emily, Derek and JJ there was silence that seemed rather awkward to Elle but that was probably because of what she had just discussed with Derek.

“Are we going to the gym after work?” Elle asked Derek.

“You want to? I thought you couldn’t wait to get out of here,” Derek wiggled his eyebrows at the end of his sentence.

“I don’t have plans until 6:30 pm so I’ll have time to kill and I want to talk to you,” Elle fiddled with her sleeve.

“What are you doing later?” JJ asked, she wasn’t nosey but she was curious Elle didn’t usually have plans with anyone unless she was seeing her and Emily or Penelope and Derek. She liked spending the evenings at home with her cat and a book or case file.

“Just someone I’ve been on a couple of dates with,” Elle lied, she had been with her girlfriend for a few months but they didn’t know that, well Emily knew. Elle was thankful Emily hadn’t told her girlfriend.

“Don’t bother asking her questions she won’t answer any,” Derek told the blonde.

The elevator doors opened and each of them exited. Elle and Emily last to exit since JJ had gone ahead with Derek so Emily took the chance to talk to Elle.

“Do you plan on telling them?”

“I will soon, things are just really good right now I don’t want it to change.”

“Elle if she’s right for you things won’t change based on whether or not people know. I’m not sure what happened in your last relationships but they don’t define this one,” Emily smiled.

“Will you and JJ still be here at 6:30 if so maybe you could leave off at that time? She’s coming to pick me up I wouldn’t mind you guys meeting her.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” she and Emily separated to their desks.

Both she and Derek did one case file and Elle put the rest into her bag to look over at home, Derek of course left his on his desk.

He walked over to Elle’s desk and picked up her bag for her as well as wrapped an arm around her waist, “Shall we get going, princess.”

“Hey Derek if Elle really does have a boyfriend he would not like you right now,” Spencer said noticing Derek’s ‘flirting.’

“Jealous that I flirt with all the ladies pretty boy?”

“Leave him alone,” Elle slapped Derek’s arm before saying bye to her co-workers and leaving to go to the gym with Derek.

——————

Elle came through in her usual black sports bra and leggings and Derek was opposite her in a muscle-fit t-shirt and shorts, “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Nope. One round, talk and then another round,” Elle demanded.

“Fine by me,” Derek held up his hands in a surrender position.

“Be prepared to have your ass kicked Morgan,” she gave him a grin.

Morgan won the first round but Elle had put up a good run they lasted 22 minutes sparing with each other. She knew she’d definitely win the next round.

The brunette took a seat on the bench taking a sip of her water and fanning herself to lessen the small sweat she had worked up.

Elle didn’t wait for Derek to ask her again or she might not even tell him she liked to be in control of when she did things, “I think I’m a lesbian,” she blurted.

“You’ve got to stop doing that today how many times are you going to blurt things out to me,” Derek rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious,” Elle crossed her arms.

“What do you mean, you think?” Derek made eye contact with her.

“Well I’ve dated men, I’ve even slept with a couple in the last year,” Elle said.

“And what did you think when you were doing that?”

Elle shrugged, “I wasn’t really thinking about it.”

“Okay, let’s try this then, do you find me attractive?”

“Seriously Derek,” Elle tilted her head to the side in annoyance.

“Just answer the question.”

“Fine, you’re somewhat attractive but no I wouldn’t sleep with you.”

“Interesting.”

“Derek I’m serious,” Elle sighed, “I prefer the women I’ve been with they are more attractive to me and I prefer having sex with them.”

“Then you might be a lesbian Elle,” Derek said.

“Might be?” Elle groaned, “Might be that’s where we started this conversation!”

“Why haven’t you spoken to Emily, she’s a lesbian and she dated men in the past before she realised.”

Elle shrugged, “Maybe I’m scared of the answer.”

“Deep down you know don’t you?” Derek gave her a sympathetic look, “Elle you know you’re a lesbian.”

Elle looked at the floor, “Yeah, it doesn’t change anything though, so I don’t know why I’m scared. It’s not like I’ve ever come out as something but now it’s different and it’s not like I’m with someone I don’t love because of that, I love Sofia.”

“Elle you can still feel scared about something just because it’s something that hasn’t changed for other people it’s still changed for you. Realising things can be scary. You thought you were bisexual since college? That’s a long time,” Derek moved closer to her on the bench.

“Since high school, not college.”

“So that’s over 10 years,” Derek lifted Elle’s chin so she would look at him. He knew why she put her head down, there were tears in her eyes and she would never let herself cry in front of anyone, “It’s okay I promise, You’re still the same person as you were this morning to me, Elle.”

Elle wiped her eyes, “Damn profiler how did you know I was most scared of what people would think?”

“Because I know you but I also know the whole team, none of them will ever treat you differently they love you and it’s not like you’re the only one there’s a whole bunch of fruits in there.”

“Excuse me?” Elle laughed, “Fruits?”

Derek shrugged, “I saw it somewhere.”

“You’re insane,” Elle closed the gap between them by wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

Derek rubbed her back, “You’ll be okay Elle,” He kissed her forehead, “So Sofia? That’s her name?”

Elle nodded, “Yeah, she’s beautiful Derek.”

“Tell me about her?”

Elle nodded again, “She has long blonde hair, it’s more of a dirty blonde but it’s a lot lighter now because of the soft highlights she gets done, her eyes are blue with a hint of green, amazing fashion sense, she won’t leave to go anywhere without jewellery, she’s the kindest woman ever and she makes the best coffee and tea,” Elle’s eyes lit up talking about her girlfriend.

“Are you sure you aren’t dating JJ?” Derek teased.

“No, I just kind of have a type I guess.”

“Tall or short?”

“She’s about an inch or half an inch shorter than me,” Elle told him.

“I assumed you’d date women your height.”

“Why? Let me guess because JJ and I are of similar height?”

“You got it, princess.”

Elle checked the time, “She’ll be here soon.”

“Is she your age?” Derek asked standing from the bench and grabbing his water bottle.

“Kind of,” Elle set herself up in position for the next round on the mats.

“What do you mean kind of she either is or isn’t,” Derek positioned himself in front of her.

“She’s younger, she’s 23.”

Derek laughed, “You sure she isn’t Jay’s twin?”

“Shut up it’s just a coincidence they don’t even look like that similar,” Elle rolled her eyes and took the first punch of their match.

Her predictions were right this time she won the match although she knew Derek was definitely going easy on her. She helped him up from the floor before going back to the bench taking her water and a towel that she draped over her shoulder.

“I’m showering quickly,” Elle checked her watch, “I’ve got time, wait for me?”

“Oh I’m so waiting, I can’t wait to see JJ’s lookalike,” Derek teased.

“Whatever you say, you’re going to be so jealous,” Elle stuck her tongue out like a child would before making her way to the changing rooms.

——————

“You smell like a flower shop,” Derek said when Elle walked into the corridor.

“Thank you,” She grinned.

“It wasn’t exactly a compliment, I mean you smell nice it’s just a bit much,” He shrugged throwing his arm over her shoulder to walk out of the building with her.

“Men,” She rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“What? At least we smell good I can’t say the same about men,” Elle pushed her lips together trying to keep a straight face through her smile.

The brunette's phone dinged, and she removed it from the pocket of her navy suit pants looking at the front screen she saw a message from Sofia.

Sofia: I’m waiting for you in the usual space <3

Elle smiled at the screen, “She’s here.”

“Nervous for us to meet her?”

“Not really, it’s just you, Em and JJ. I’m glad it’s not everyone at the same time,” Elle said as the elevator stopped at the car park level.

As soon as the doors opened she caught a glimpse of her girlfriend’s blonde hair from behind a post just across the other side of the lot, the same smile she had worn on her face appeared when they made eye contact.

“Damn princess, she is pretty,” Derek looked Sofia up and down from afar.

“Stop looking at her like that,” Elle glared at him then picked up the pace of her walk to get to her faster.

Once she was in front of Sofia she threw her arms around her in a tight hug, “Hi, I missed you,” Elle kissed her shoulder.

“Hi baby,” Sofia inhaled the scent of Elle’s hair.

Elle pulled away, “Derek, this is my girlfriend Sofia and Sof that’s Derek.”

“Hi, Elle talks about you a lot,” Sofia smiled at him.

Derek put his hand out to shake hers.

“She doesn’t do handshakes she prefers hugs,” Elle said smiling at her.

Sofia shrugged, “It’s a germ thing. Way more germs are attracted through touching hands than hugging,” She said before giving him a quick hug.

“Wow, Reid would love her.”

“Oh I hope he does, he’s so cute. He calls Elle late at night to make sure she’s safe,” Sofia has a soft subtle smile on her face.

“Oh, he’s either going to love you then or be insanely jealous that you’re dating Elle,” He grimaced.

“He likes her?” Sofia raised her eyebrows.

“I’m sure he doesn’t Derek likes to tease and get under your skin,” Elle rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

“I hope you don’t mind meeting a couple of my friends.. you’ve kind of already met Em but she and JJ will be out in a minute,” Elle held both sides of her arms gently.

“Of course I don’t mind I’m happy you want me to meet them love,” Sofia rested her hand on Elle’s hip. Since she was in heels she was a couple of inches taller than Elle despite Elle’s small heel on her boots so she had to lean down slightly to kiss her.

Their kiss ended when they heard Emily clear her throat behind them. Elle turned around a pink hue covering her cheeks while Sofia slipped her hand inside Elle’s not wanting their physical contact to be over.

“Nice to see you again Sofia coincidently it’s the same way I saw you both last time,” the raven-haired woman laughed.

“Hi Emily, sorry about that she’s irresistible though,” Sofia ran her other hand down the length of Elle’s back, “You must be JJ, Elle’s told me so much about you. You’re gorgeous,” Sofia turned her attention to the shorter woman standing beside Emily.

“Oh I’m sure she has,” Derek winked earning a confused look from Emily between them all.

“Ignore him, Bye Derek. We will see you tomorrow,” Elle crossed her arms holding a glaring eye contact with him until he finally decided to say his goodbyes and leave.

They both stood in silence for a couple of minutes before JJ spoke up, “How long have you and Elle been together?”

“A couple of months? I honestly forget it feels like forever.”

“We should do a double date, I’d love to get to know you better Sofia but I’m sure you’d both like to be getting home now and I know Emily and I want to as well,” JJ smiled.

“Yeah sounds good, I’m sure Elle will arrange something, right baby?”

“Yeah, we can text, have a good night,” Elle hugged them both.

“Oh we definitely will,” Emily winked at her causing them all to laugh before she and JJ left to go to their car.

Sofia slid her hand into Elle’s back pocket as the older woman leaned against the car with her back arched a little.

“What was with the meet and greet?” Sofia laughed kissing the tip of Elle’s nose.

“You make me happy and they started assuming I had a boyfriend so I thought it was time to come clean.. speak my truth,” Elle laughed.

“You a boyfriend? No chance. Speaking of, Derek, is he telling the truth does Spencer have a thing for you?”

“No, I’m certain he likes JJ. But you’ve got nothing to worry about you’re all I have ever wanted,” Elle pressed her lips against the blonde.

“And you and JJ have clearly hooked up nice to know your type,” Sofia said opening the passenger door for Elle.

Elle gasped, “We did not hook up! We kissed once never spoke of it again. Also I don’t have a type especially based on hair colour I’m not a serial killer but I suppose I have a thing for feminine women,” she placed her hand on Sofia’s thigh as she started up the car.

“Elle,” Sofia paused, “I love you,” she met Elle’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes with her own ocean-coloured ones.

Elles face softened and her smile grew wide, “I love you too Sof.”

[rott1ngbra1n]

I have been absolutely brain rotting with my Sonic hyperfixation, can you guess who my favorite character is?

This is also from my aforementioned Shadow the Hedgehog Hyperfixation Sketchbook

*Spoilers for Sonic 3 under the cut*

I also saw Sonic 3 two times and had the best time!! I’ll ramble about it after the art

I kinda just wanna go rambling about Shadow;

I love this silly edgy guy, yes he is a tragic character and his story is genuinely heart breaking. But he has wormed his way into my brain and I love him so much.

The movie really made me really empathize with Shadow, and I already very much empathized with him. The scenes with him and Maria were so much fun and made her death so much more devastating. If we ever get a Shadow spin off, I want a flashback episode where we get to see more of them hanging out.

I also really like how they allowed Shadow to show more expressions, rather than him just be brooding all the time. We see him afraid and happy and hurt, do I wish they used his ears more in the expressions?

Absolutely, but that’s my animator brain thinking about every body part in an expression. But it doesn’t hinder my enjoyment.

When I draw Shadow I tend to lean into making him fluffier and a lot sharper, which you can see in my Shadow design sheet and with how I almost went back to those traits with movie Shadow.

I’m also toying with making acrylic charms or stickers of the Sonic characters, I already have the Shadow design up on my RedBubble if anyone wants to take a glance. I’m working on finishing Sonic’s design and I have a Silver one in the works.

If anyone has any character suggestions let me know! I will obviously doing the core cast but I know there are characters I’m unfamiliar with (comic lore I fear it /lh)

[your-unfriendlyghost]

What’s interesting about the Steve and his parents thing is that in SE hintons fanfiction (yes, she wrote fics on ffnet. They’re not that great but they’re worth reading if you like extra content) Steve’s mother IS there and she’s not really a bad parent?

She gave Steve fudge to give to the Curtis bros for Christmas I think. Steve also mentions having a million little cousins (we already knew he had at least one girl cousin from Kansas, but now we know he has a million lol)

So she doesn’t seem terrible? Just an average mom who might not be strong enough to stand up to her husband, even at the cost of her son.

Of course, these aren’t necessarily canon just because Se Hinton wrote them, I don’t even listen to it lol, but it’s interesting

Yeah, I’ve read those actually! (They’re okay, nothin too special outside of the fact that she’s the one that wrote them. Don’t remember much about the details tho cos I read ‘em back before I was really in the fandom..back in May I think)

Mrs. Randle could absolutely be present and okay, which is a take one could go with for sure.

But yeah I don’t really take anything not explicitly in the book as canon (yk. Unless it’s funny. lookin at you “secrets book” tweets…), like the Soda in Vietnam thing isn’t canon to me. Canon’s the book, but fandom/interpretation is a playground we can do whatever we want with yk? (Obviously ya probably 100% know that, anon, I’m just rambling lol)

Anyway, I definitely agree! It is very interesting, and I think picking and choosing what to adopt into your own version of “canon” is one of the most fun parts of fandom for me lol!

[valesyn]

Yeah I really agree with you. Steve and Peggy were sweet in the first avenger— I did really like their dynamic.

HOWEVER.

She built a life without him. He found a life without her. Of course losing one another was incredibly painful, I’m not disregarding that. If they had seen each other, just to give Peggy and Steve peace back in history or whatever that’s fine. But the whole staying back in time A) doesn’t make sense with what they established with time travel (creates branch line? But then. Yk. He just poofs there with them back in the real one. Not to mention with whatever the heck they’re doing now with the getting rid of the branch lines).

But B) it really does eliminate… like all that Steve is? And I get the argument of “it’s his character growth to learn to get something for himself”…. But I don’t think we’re really taking into account that this is kinda a drastic, world changing thing for him to just flippantly decide. (And imho, the whole thing just doesn’t follow with his character. Because to me it did feel flippant.)

Which is funny, cause I was okay with Steve going back in time when I originally watched it, but then when he came back old I was just… confused? Cause again, like @sunkissedliterarylightofchrist said, it’s already been shown he’s basically immortal. And we also know she had kids so, now he had kids? Which then we have serum children running around? Unless we’re saying he got rid of the serum some how which is a whole nother can of worms.

But yeah. Imo, if they wanted Steve and Peggy to interact one last time (since they were hinting and putting that in place throughout the movie), have him go back for his dance. Have them talk, have Steve assure Peggy that he’s okay, that she can move on. Let her live her life— (with Daniel Sousa. I’m still angry they canceled her show.) but yeah this could’ve been done before the final fight and all. Then hey, for those that wanted Steve to have “character development” and do something for himself— that was it.

And then with Evan’s contract ending, as sunkissed said, have it be his death protecting Bucky/sam.

Also. Like yall why didn’t Steve and Bucky get to interact like at all (if my memory serves correctly?) . Like I remember the weird end goodbye or whatever but like seriously. They grew up together— they’re best friends and with each other *til the end of the line*. We should’ve seen the end of the line, instead of old man Steve.

Anyway this was far to long a ramble for marvel which I now very rarely watch hahaha. I’m not up to date on any of the new stuff. Honestly the only characters left I care about are Bucky and Sam and I did watch Falcon and winter soldier, so like if there’s other things I missed with them in it, lmk.

Send me your biggest unpopular opinions. Can be about any fandom (I might not know what you're talking about but whatever) or anything in life. Anon or not, I wanna know

[loycos]

How do you think Ekko feels about Caitlyn and Vi, separately and as a couple? Reed Shannon (Ekko's VA) stated in a post on how Caitlyn found her humanity and grace through her struggles; plus he resposted(?) a meme of Caitlyn alongside Ekko, Jinx, Vi and Isha from that gangster family meme; I don't know if you know the meme, it was the best way I could describe it.

again diving into personal headcanon territory, with a little bit of support from League lore (idk if its still relevant). i feel like i need to explain what my post canon vision for caitvi is to articulate what i think ekko would think of them. ramble incoming:

i think caitlyn and vi are gonna be enforcers again, caitlyn as the sheriff and vi her second-in-command (deputy). caitlyn will try to reform the enforcers with a stricter hand, and a watchful eye. theres a reason she didnt take her seat in the council- caitlyn is all about doing the hard job on location, seeing reality through her own eyes- she doesnt want to help by sitting in a tower and discussing things in theory, shes practical and realistic and she wants to experience the real thing. her job as sheriff will allow her to make that change while still giving her the access to do things on the field.

vi joining tbe enforcers will mainly be done to stay close to caitlyn and protect her if needed. vi never had a big direction in life other than the people she loves- she would jump on the opportunity to spend more time with cait and have the chance to punch people with her big gauntlets. her position as deputy is absolutely unearned in terms of experience or even commitment to the cause- but caitlyn is the sheriff and she put her there, so vi and her can stay close. which other enforcers, and pilties, and zaunites, are extremely aware of. it is corruption, even if relatively unharmful one. having a zaunite as the deputy made a lot of pilties upset, especially when shes so underqualified, and made them question caitlyn's ethics, for good reason. mega especially when vi is known to overall act out of line, cause unnecessary property damage, show overall disrespect to the reformed enforcer protocol and not bind herself to schedules, and yet get absolutely no punishment, let alone acknowledgement of her misdeeds by her boss, who turns a blind eye (wink wink) to her shenanigans.

so yeah, other enforcers are fuming, the pilties arent happy, and zaunites? well, despite caitlyn trying her best to solve the issues that ran years before she was born, there's only so much changing the protocol can do for her. she is harsher on enforcer violence and the prison under her watch has changed to be more humane, but its not like she can control every single enforcer personally. so its not perfect but its slightly better than what it used to be. caitlyn herself has the exact same attitude towards both pilties and zaunites- kind of cold, calculated, no bullshit taken, unapologetic, yet with a layer of empathy underneath the surface. kind of similar to what grayson was. this attitude doesnt win her people's favor on either side, but it does earn her respect- and especially in zaun, where her family status means nothing, that means a lot. she's definitely not a "champion of the people"- i think most people in the city actively dislike her, and the (true) rumors of corruption arent helping.

as for vi, zaunites see her as a traitor. she is known to be kind of a bulldozer that can be quite trigger happy, especially when it involves caitlyn (who we already discussed people dont really like) being in danger or disrespected. she has a dismissive "and what about that" attitude that is very zaun in nature, but since shes now wearing a badge, zaunites get annoyed with. pilties, of course, absolutely hate that attitude. so she isnt seen very favorably either, on either side of the river, just like her girlfriend.

the relationship between them is kind of an open secret. every enforcer in the force knows vi is only in her position cause she "gives caitlyn favors under the table", and those rumors reached topside and bottom as well. and again, they arent untrue, theyre just a relatively mean and shallow reading of the actual relationship between the women. neither caitlyn nor vi ever acknowledges these rumors. they stay at a 6 feet distance from each other while working, but the fact they are so interlinked really leaves no other answer. they know everybody knows, everybody knows that they know, and it's never addressed directly by either of them. their relationship is kind of an anigma to people on both sides- pilties think caitlyn settled for a street rat, zaunites think vi sold her soul to be with a rich pig. no one really knows the history or intimate details about their relationship, for obvious reasons, and thats what it looks like to them on the surface.

righttttt, this ask was about ekko. i got carried away. so ekko. how does he play into all of this? while he's not entirely on the average zaunite camp, he is reluctant to work with caitlyn, but does so anyway because ultimately they share similar goals. while he understands vi better than most people, and knows she always puts her loved ones before any political cause, he can't help but feel a little betrayed by her choice. i think he doesnt really see what vi sees in caitlyn, and since he doesnt "get" that, vi's choice to stay with her at all costs looks odd. especially since caitlyn on the surface just looks like a cold, authoritarian bitch. with good intentions! but still a bitch.

in the end, it all comes down to masks. i imagine post canon caitvi are both sporting masks for protection, and have their walls really high up in public. and can you blame them? they actively wear their weakest spot, their achilles heel- each other- on their sleeve. theyre in public positions, have a lot of eyes on them, and their "professional" relationship is extremely looked down upon. so caitlyn acts colder and harsher, and vi puts on a bravado of "i dont give a shit" and uses violence as a threat to deter people from seeing her as weak. the walls are there to ensure their safety. but like we saw in the series, when its just the two of them, all those walls crumble, and they allow themselves to just be vulnerable.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I think it's clear Lion Guy has climbed AT LEAST to the top #2 on your fav twst characters list..... but do you think he'll ever surpass J word?? lately you've been rambling a lot abt Leona but tbh it's obvious you rlly rlly love Jade too from all the posts I've read abt your feelings towards him (which have helped me understand and appreciate him more, too!)

sorry if it's smth weird to ask btw, I know feelings/thoughts abt fictional characters sometimes can be pretty personal- so feel free to ignore this 🙇

For your reference, here is my personal Twst tier list ^^ It’s up to date as of the recent book 7 part 12 update. (And to be clear, the characters placed in the same tier are in no particular order; just because Silver is first in the "tolerate" tier doesn't mean I like him any more or less than Deuce, who is next in the row.)

If you’d like more specifics on why I do or don’t like a particular character, please check out my FAQ in the pinned post or look at #character opinion bingo. If the character you’d like me to elaborate on isn’t addressed there, then you may send in an ask about it.

Please remember to be respectful when discussing character preferences; do not attempt to convince others to change their minds or imply/tell them that they are “wrong” for feeling a certain way about a character.

I don’t mind the question! This blog’s a place for me to express myself (whether creatively or critically/more analytically) and to share my opinions on certain aspects of Twst ^^

I don't really think to put specific numbers on characters most of the time because I personally get really anxious about rankings 🤡 According to the same friends that said all of this though, they basically agree that L*ona is pretty much second place or that L*ona has already surpassed J word. A particular friend likes to joke that “it’s Leover”, and another one says, “it’s like Raven divorced J word for L*ona”. And honestly 💦💦 if I'm being 100% truthful, I'm a little scared myself that some cat boy I disliked back in 2020 will shoot right up to the very top 💀 When I think about that... OOooOoOooooOOOGH, IT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS BECAUSE HE'D BE SO ANNOYING AND SMUG ABOUT WINNING FOR ONCE. Finally clawing his way up from rock bottom... past second place (where he was perpetually trapped for most of his life; second place to his older brother, second place to that lizard, second place to eel)... to snatch the crown from the jaws of defeat... 💢 (You can't see it, but I'm pounding the wall with my fists--)

BUT IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY GUYS (<- huffing copium) IT'S JUST THE CONTENT RELEASE BIAS... Like, L*ona has gotten SO much more focus recently that it might be a little unfair to compare the two right now??? He got that Nightmare Suit SSR and played an important role in the Halloween event, then immediately got his time to shine in his book 7 dream, on top of us being forced to go through all five Heartslabyul dreams with him. That's not even mentioning the fact that the Episode of Savanaclaw manga is hyping us up for his OB reveal in January, or his hometown event rerun that's currently going on in the JP server. I keep telling myself that as soon as J word gets a new exciting SSR or story content that I'll swing right back around to him 😭 He hasn't gotten anything substantial lately... And let's be honest here, L*ona has a complete advantage no matter what the situation is for J word simply because L*ona is a dorm leader and an OB boy. There will always be more attention and detail showered upon him and his development over J word's OTL There's just... more L*ona lore to chew on. The other part of it is a large chunk of what I discuss on this blog comes from interactions with my readers. If readers submit more asks about L*ona, then I'll naturally talk about him more. Pair this with the guarantee that he's getting more screen time because of the remaining Heartslabyul dreams, and it becomes constant lion reinforcement.

sdfhladiyofyfaey8gFP9MGEEGA ANyWAY, sorry if that didn't quite answer your question... I didn't want to give a definitive response because I can't really tell what will happen in the future but hey, you guys wouldn't think any less of me if something happens, right 🤡

[grays-matter]

!! RIVALS LEAKS AND ALL-NEW VENOM SPOILERS (scroll if you don't want to see, im putting in a cut!)

VENOM MOOTS IM ABOUT TO GET REALLY ABNORMAL FOR A SECOND SO BEAR WITH ME.

this is gonna be PURE SPECULATION based on a Marvel Rivals skin leak. but my friend sent me this and was like "LOOK GRAY"

and I havent been able to stop looking. my brain is on fire. DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP LIKE IM ABOUT TO. this is incoherent rambling. grasping at straws if you will.

so, posted by @/rivalsleaks on twitter, there's this image. (link to original)

one, HELLO SIR. I'D KNOW THAT ARMOR ANYWHERE. my little flash thompson loving heart might fucking explode actually bc there's already a flash skin in the form of space knight and they're giving him another.

two, I hope this is legendary and there would be voicelines/sounds to acknowledge that flash is piloting eddie's body, like here in Venom (2018) #8

although with the amnesia and timestream entanglement, I don't know if eddie or venom would know.

three, I'm pretty sure the whole All-New Venom run is just Luke Cage as the host but the skin leak has yellow accents and I don't think I've ever associated flash with yellow, besides the way his hair is often colored in old issues.

BUT. But. if I play into my shreds of hope.... And you know who has yellow accents and the Legs of the Symbol going to their shoulders which is pretty much only present on venom suits when it's Flash? I think this COULD BE a whole red-herring setup. There are a lot of lines in this issue that make you think it could be any one of the "suspects" Dylan presented. I didn't read the Gang War Event so I'm near clueless on this whole situation, and I don't know who this guy is but this feels too spelled out not to be a misdirection???

There's only one person I can think of who has this much compassion for the symbiote,

and then the glasses guy says.

Do we all recall that Venom War was live broadcast? And this guy probably had TV in jail. And *typically* flash fights with guns, not his fists. And who did he idolize? Spider-Man.

we also don't know where he is as of the end of Venom War and between All-New Venom, like, is he looking after Dylan? Where are eddie and carnage now?

presumably he can't bond with venom because he says his Anti-Venom's back. I DUNNO! I DUNNO!

[yanmuffins]

also, another thing (yes, i'm trying to procastinate again and then making u bear with me rambling) I love to draw reader wearing alternative clothing, or sometimes, just some tomboyish, lil' punk inspired style

idk, I feel like it gives some more life at them or smth

we both know that I usually prefer to draw the reader fem, but If i, someday, decide to draw them male or just gn, I think I would still insist in something different from the usual

idk, for male I would probably draw them in more fem styled clothing, throw some pink around and poke at skirts and maybe some dresses-shirts, If i feel daring (which I prob would, y'know, with the whole male-reader-drawing thingy)

for gn, I would probably just draw them in mandrake male, firstly because the style is comfortable, both to draw and to wear, and secondly because it is a subculture of the country where I live, which makes me more happy to draw it

can I be so for real right now? I do not see vampire!reader wardrobe staying the same doll, rich girl, homeschooled, butler loving thing forever

yeah, I could still see them envolving into goth, maybe romantic goth while we're at It, but wouldn't It just be funnier If It didn't?

so, after the vampirification, what if the reader start wearing smth really different from the batfam?

like, gyaru, punk (but REAL punk, with with pointy hair and various piercings), or fem mandrake, but with the crazy male mandrake hair with these neon drawing at the scalp that glow in the dark

yeah, it's a big leap, but it's a fun one too

(or maybe vamp!reader could put some sexy leather too, idc, I just want to give the batfam a headache! 😉👍)

thanks for reading my rambling, I must go back to hating to draw Damian (←😒) right now 😔💔

girl we’re from the same country (≧◡≦) ♡

i want to ramble and prattle about this so hard and give it a super long answer but!!! SPOILERS for my upcoming post on vampire! reader’s fashion i’m afraid.

vampire! reader's overall style holds a place dear to my hear, and is also relevant to the fic!

i'm not gonna lie, i envision vampire! reader to be more on the hyperfeminine side of things. pre-vampire-embrace she already wore exclusively black (with pops of white), shades of grey and a daring burgundy here and there, and i decided on those colors mostly to match her somber/modest/elegant choices when it comes to clothing and to match the wayne and, overall, just gotham's aesthetic. even as vampire! reader grows out of her dolly-like clothes, she was pretty much raised on designer and that's pretty much what she wears and will continue to wear. as in, new dior spring/summer collection just dropped? gotham's local store already has it ready for her to pick up. it comes naturally to her, it's just how alfred/bruce (mostly alfred) raised her.

also, spoiler: she feels like dressing on old-timey, vintage outfits makes her feel closer to her grandma. this also thanks to alfred's influence, who gave her access to martha wayne's wardrobe. she does enjoy wearing her grandma's old clothes. not the pearls, though.

considering her clan (👀), it's very fitting.

however!!!

i do find the idea of an alternative vampire! reader very interesting and fun to play around with, giving her (or him. or them) different personalities, reactions and upbringings which will lead her to be more suitable to different vampire clans. stereotypical, yeah, but a punk or cybergoth vampire! reader would make a great brujah or gangrel. gyaru or lolita! vampire reader could be a toreador or a malkavian. she grows out of her frilly socks and petitcoats and really finds herself in alternative styles.

now with our current vampire! reader's style transition, i'll save that for that one (amazing) ask to really yap about that.

and honestly? i don't believe the clothes themselves would really make the batfam scream cry and throw up (with the exception of alfred, but he'll get over it). it might make bruce and dick side-eye her a bit, but jason would find vampire! reader's mandrake/punk hair awesome. steph would be in love with gyaru/lolita vampire! reader's outfits.

unless we're talking about sexier outfits, like you said, leather and such. which i won't expand upon here, but that would surely make them uncomfortable.

but, much like our og vampire! reader, what really bothers them is the change in attitude, in company, in behavior. she was so quiet and demure before, going out during business hours and mostly coming home before it got dark, or at least sticking strictly to curfew. she barely had any friends. but suddenly she's hanging out with some person she met who knows where, frequenting nightclubs and coming home close to dawn? acting distant and avoidant towards her family (who didn't really pay her much mind but that's irrelevant)? now that grinds their gears.

but if we want to get away from that hyperfeminity post-embrace, i can see og! vampire! reader gravitating towards something like this: