#which i guess makes sense cause im not skilled or unique at all but it still makes me really fucking sad cause i cant help

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

also the furry stuff ive been drawing lately has been flopping really bad on twitter. which is incredibly sad because im having a LOT of fun with it but no one likes meeeeeeeee its fine. i dont care in fact. i just wont post any art anymore. that way i dont have to see it flop and get no likes. i can sit on my pile of bunny jameson porn and be happy. grins. smiles even

[j-mysticalien]

🔫 the oc content, hand it over /lh

you don’t have to if u don’t want to lol I just saw you said something about ocs and 👀 I am interested

FIRST OF ALL 🥺🥺🥺

SECOND OF ALL OKAY OKAY HERE TAKE IT 

(I ended up dumping a lot ... I saw the opportunity and ran with it I didn’t mean to oops)

These guys have been in my head for y e a r s and even though I'll abandon them for months at a time, there are plot points I've forgotten, it’s very very unfinished, and clearly influenced by my freshman year interests, they're some of my favorites to imagine and write like every time I do a picrew chain or something I make them too for myself okay okay-

So. Exposition. For ages the demons and dark things have slipped between the veil and into the world. As evil rises, so do those who stand against it. In some parts of the world The Order was established not to eradicate or wage war against the demons, just to keep everything in their proper dimensions and destroy those who refuse. Members of the Order work in groups with assigned roles, often passed down generations. 1: trained in the physical aspects of fighting creatures, they have the unique and mysterious ability to survive in the other dimension-at least better than the average mortal. 2, “Alchemist”: Usually a witch, human descendant of a magical being, or a particularly skilled mortal even. they provide the magical aid since the other cannot perform magic themselves. (Though Witches tend to form their own communities or work with the demon realm which historically has caused tensions) While fewer and well hidden, this secret society guards the mortal realm to this day... 

There’s a small, quiet town in the northeast. Nothing much happens- the power may go out or the weather may turn within seconds and figures may appear and shift into the shadows but it all turns out fine eventually. Nothing to worry about. But those who know a  little too much know where to go when things need to be taken care off. Bloom’s Florist and Garden Shop, a sweet little store in the middle of town staffed by the owner’s two teenaged kids. They’ve got a lovely selection of flowers and herbs. If you hear noises from their basement, best to ignore it. If you see the kids sprinting down the street, best to stay out of their way. If they tell you to avoid the woods one night, you listen...

OCS MY BELOVED HERE THEY ARE

 Dante Achilles Sindweller. He is type 1.  He’s tall, thin but muscular, almost dangerously pale. His hair is blue, eyes blue though they sometimes look red. Riddles with piercings and pale scars. Cocky bastard but well deserved. Friendly and deadly all at once. He’s good at what he does and is always up for a challenge. Low key high key losing his sense of humanity. You see actually being in the demon dimension is draining because of the pure chaos of it but returning to reality is rough too. Because of the hunter’s ability (I’m pretty sure they have this ability bc the og demon hunters secretly fucked a bunch of demons so Hunters have demon blood and cannot “die” in the hell dimension but idfk at this point) they can adapt to the word with a combination of demonic attributes and idealized forms that disappear when he gets back. So um the mental toll is very much a thing that he hides very well...at least at first. He doesn’t actually have to travel too often thought, just during emergencies and later he genuinely visits some chill demon friends there.

Cordelia Emerys Bloom, “Cordie”. 5′2″, dark brown skin, black hair she keeps in two short braids, round rimmed glasses. She’s the alchemist. a few of her far off ancestors were fae. Her own magical battery is low so she’s become skilled in working with. potions and magical plants. She’s the most serious member. of the trio. She knows the job, she has a rhythm, she doesn’t like change. This group had three braincells and 90% of the time she has all of them. She likes her plants, her books, and Dante. She’s a little high strung and stubborn but she’s clever, intelligent, and really warm person once you get past her shields. She grew up way too fast and with all her adult figures gone, Dante slowly slipping (though she denies it to the point where Alice bright it up and they didn’t talk for a week), and this irritation turned fear that Alice’s presence is temporary leaves her with some issues but it’s okay im determined to let her be happy, she just has to let herself accept happiness.

Alice Barnet. A witch. Thick, bright red  hair, hazel/ blue eyes. Absolutely stunning. and a fashion icon. She moved to attend to uppity private school right outside of town. She stumbled upon the shop and immediately sensed the great power hidden in there. So she just walked in- because of the dimensional portal not because the girl at the register she saw through the window was so pretty what are you talking about it was witch instinct only- and announced herself and offered her services. She’s a flirt, though a sincere one. She projects a confident, fun vibes even if she doesn't actually feel it. Fake it until you make it I guess. Coffee addict will memorize your birth chart, Starbucks order, and all the little behavioral things. Most of my early drabbles with her involve her sitting on Cordie’s desk sipping her iced coffee while Cordie is like “how tf did you get in here” “good question. Better one: they didn’t have the black tea you like is green okay?” She actually is part of an informal coven but that’s a whole side story with its own cast of characters I haven’t touched in ages

Dynamics dynamics so Cordie and Dante are siblings in all but blood, they’ve been together for almost their entire lives. (Cordie’s parents are almost always away-either on Order business or just vibing idk they’re cool though. Dante’s parents are dead but only Dante himself seems to know that-Something about demon blood and dimension hopping doesn’t let their kind live long) They’re really close. If they met at this point in life they probably would never have been friends and Cordie probably would despise him but as they are they love each other and *know* each other. Technically Dante is older but Cordie is the eldest sister of the relationship.

The two of them have opposite reactions when Alice enters their life. (This entrance is one of the few *full* scenes I actually wrote down) Dante is allured-not by her but by the potential adventure she represents. She states her case and he’s like oh this’ll be interesting. They become best friends almost instantly. Their sass, confidence, and more adventurous sides click harmoniously- much of the time to Cordie’s dismay. To Cordelia, Alice is something unknown, something potentially dangerous. She makes her assumptions (prissy, incompetent, entitled, inexperienced) and tolerated her. Alice has had a crush on her since day 1. She was determined to prove herself to the group and really she’d just like to get her trust and friendship at some point, gushy feelings be damned. They fall in love slowly, they learn to trust and be weak and learn to know each other and be themselves Alice is genuinely interested in all the stuff Cordie knows about the magical world and Cordie gets to try to be a person outside of that world. The recent stuff I’ve actually written down involves a lot of sleepy conversations and whispered confessions and soft touched and hhh

Some of the non-human characters

“Lady”: the ghost that haunts the basement/ Order base. She can’t really speak and isn't always visible, never fully. They don’t know who she was or why she’s there. She helps out when she can though. Might help Dante in the very end. 

All of the actual demons are off ideas. Like each deadly sin has it’s own demon (they didn’t realize some humans had grouped them together for some time but they think it’s funny, sometimes they hang out just because of that) The gang doesn't directly meet a lot of them but 

Curiosity aka “Apple” aka “Heather” aka “Bee”aka...:The spark that fuels innovation ne the spiral of a downfall. frequently visits human world, team switches between stopping them from blowing up a building to playing Mario kart together. Like he definitely causes trouble and should not keep escaping through the portal but like...he’s fun to got to the mall with. Funky Lil dude who’s there for a good time and some chaos. Changes aliases all the time.

Nostalgia aka “Honey-Lavender”: the kind that leaves the ghost of a smile on your face, the kind that drowns you in the past, the kind that makes you want to go back, or forget. mostly stays in hell. One of the demons Dante visits and is acquainted with. They lay and talk. She can be a downer but he doesn’t mind, he appreciates the company and some days she keeps him tethered to his life and sanity (on the bad says she has the opposite effect, she can’t help it)

OKAY AHAHA THATS ENOUGH OUT OF ME THERE THEY ARE THANKS

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is 

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride 

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH 

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao 

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this 

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love 

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing. 

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao 

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand 

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way 

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky) 

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op) 

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?) 

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow 

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy 

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser 

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow. 

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy. 

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points) 

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much 

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny 

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye 

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further 

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess 

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title 

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny 

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro. 

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth 

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious 

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions) 

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did 

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless 

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY 

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh 

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e 

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY. 

til next timeeee

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 57

“Urgh… that was intense…”

Celes fell unconscious from having Arleaf’s cooking in her mouth for a mere 20 seconds. Fortunately, we were able to pull it out before she swallowed. Thank goodness that Muu’s hands are so surprisingly stretchy.

“Muu.”

Well, after we got the food out, I crushed the remaining Hamburg steak in my hand. Then, we got Celes to take an antidote and we also healed her, so all in all, she took practically no damage. It might’ve been bad if we were any slower. If not actually dying, she would’ve been laid up for at least two weeks.

“Like I told you, you’d be risking your life tasting my food…” “I apologize… but Cohgray, how in the world do are you able to eat all of it…?” “It’s a quirk of mine. Some people call me the Poison-Eater.” “… I have heard of that name before, but to think that person is you, Sir Cohgray. You truly are astonishing. By the way, what exactly was that?” “It’s my cooking. I was born with a unique skill which causes all of my cooking to become some sort of poison.” “I—I see… so, that was why you weren’t cooking.” “Right…” “Forgive me for being so tactless…”

Celes apologizes before standing up. It’s not like I eat Arleaf’s food because I like her for her cooking or anything. I mean, she is cute, and I do like her. But there’s a whole slew of different reason why I get her to cook for me. It’s a little embarrassing though.

‘Leave the misconception be.’

I’m super worried about that, but it’s not like I can explain the truth to her either.

“Feel free to take your time, okay?” “No, I would like to avoid staying any longer. We mustn’t dally. Let us go.”

Celes then gallantly strides forwards and into the mineshaft. Along the way, she equipped her gas mask. Honestly, I’m kinda uneasy about whether she’s really fine or not, but I guess we can’t help but follow her… With that, we headed deeper into the gallery.

I wondered if it’d be tight inside, but the tunnel stretches five meters across. There’s more than enough room to move around. We walked in only a little bit… but it kinda feels like we’ve entered a dungeon.

“We shall be going deep inside. Brace yourselves. The shape of this dungeon shifts every so often, thus maps are not all that useful. Be careful.” “Understood.”

It’s a space warping–type dungeon, eh? Like the swamp dungeon, it’s rather well-lit in here, but not blindingly so. The path ahead is long… the shaft seems to stretch on forever.

“There may be toxic gas in the air, so be aware.” “Alright. I’ve got some Ranger-like skills, so I’ll take the lead.” “It would be better for me to… but if you wish to, Cohgray, go ahead. Do your best to be careful.” “Gotcha.”

I’m up front, following behind me are Celes, Muu, and Arleaf. Veno senses the monsters for me and I point them out. Celes and Arleaf quickly attacks them with Muu and I assisting. The monsters we encounter are much like the ones on the mountain, but in different colors. We encountered all sorts of monsters; from Wistaria Rocks and Bordeaux Rock Golems to little golems like Cyclamen Pink Iron, Plum Bronze Golem, and Ash Grey Silvermen. And since I’ve got both Celes and Arleaf killing them for me, it’s hard to get a feel for how strong these monsters are.

‘It would not be too difficult for thee. We are still at the beginning, aye?’

When there are pockets of toxic gas, Veno shows me how to detour around them or how to vent it out before advancing forward. The gas smells rather floral, hey?

‘It is a little questionable to relate poison with flowers, but so far, things are going well. Thou seemst to have become used to this already.’

I guess so. Not to mention, I’m getting a whole lot of experience from this. Every time a monster is defeated, I see my levels tick up. Freakin’ sweet. Praise be to power leveling.

It’s going swimmingly, almost as if it’s easier than the swamp dungeon. Veno’s Mapping really helps too. The dungeon doesn’t change its shape too often, so it’s actually quite useful. Suddenly, we encountered a bunch of rock-type monsters a lot more frequently.

We’ve got Silver White Lance Mithrilmen and Shadow Blue Hammer Magic Silvermen.

… talk about a long name.

‘Thou needn’t worry about their colors; simply regard them as Mithrilmen and Magic Silvermen.’

Oh, you’ve got a point. Anyway, their equipment seems to be a part of their bodies. Not only is the experience is good, but the ores in their bodies are what we’re here for.

“Hmpf! Is that all you’ve got?!”

As Celes sweeps wide with her sword, the monsters swing their weapons. The clash makes a shrill noise.

“Aqua Shot!”

Arleaf said it’s dangerous to use fire in a mineshaft, so she switched to attacking with water magic. It’s pretty dang strong, so even if she doesn’t kill them outright, her magic still helps obstruct the enemies’ movement.

“Muuuuu!”

Muu puts up a good fight with its axe, but nowhere near the level of the two ladies.

“Swing your hip out more!” “Muu!”

Muu’s attacks get stronger with pointers from Celes. And me? Well, I’ve got a crossbow lent to me by Wayne and it does a good job too. But it’s kinda plain and it doesn’t really kill. I could let out a poisonous mist, but I’ll likely hit Celes and Arleaf with it too. The only other poison that would be good would be my new Mollifying Poison, I guess. They’re rocks, so they’re bound to be hard. I get the feeling that Paralysis Poison wouldn’t do a heck of a lot on them.

‘It is not the case that it is ineffective, but unfortunately, thy poison is more akin to living creatures. Thou must increase your poison vocabulary.’

Then what’s a good poison on these rock-types?

‘There are silencing-type poisons which lowers defense. Silencing refers to the obstruction of their magical abilities, reducing the amount of mana in their system. It would be fairly effective against these monsters. Of course, anything to lower their hardness would be another option. Other than that, perhaps something to induce confusion would be good. However, it would not work unless the poison gets circulated in their systems.’

That’s hard to picture in my head. I mean, for an ex-software engineer from modern Japan like me, I’m basically told to imagine a whole new concept.

‘Nay, they are but stones and ores after all. That means they have a body. If you inject poison into their bodies, then it would circulate in their system.’

What about monsters without a physical body then? Like spirits or something?

‘Then mists would be effective against them, much like the same reason why holy water is effective.’

Hmm… there’s a myriad of different ways to use poison, huh?

“Wha—?!”

Celes squats down low in preparation of something. What the heck is happening? Then suddenly… the walls deep inside get wider and wider. What? Is the shaft shapeshifting right before my eyes? As the thought crosses my mind, something draws closer with a loud ka-thunk, ka-thunk. They sound like the footsteps of something heavy.

“Seems like we’re lucky today.”

Celes flashes a fearless grin and readies her sword. For some reason though, I don’t think there’s anybody that would agree with her statement…

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /ch030/ /ch031/ /ch032/ /ch033/ /ch034/ /ch035/ /ch036/ /ch037/ /ch038/ /ch039/ /ch040/ /ch041/ /ch042/ /ch043/ /ch044/ /ch045/ /ch046/ /ch047/ /ch048/ /ch049/ /ch050/ /ch051/ /ch052/ /ch053/ /ch054/ /ch055/ /ch056/ /ch057/ /next/

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[blessuswithblogs]

Top Ten Videocons of Twenty Seventeen, More or Less

2017 has, by all accounts, been a fantastic year for Video Games. Unfortunately for me, it has been a not so fantastic year in Having Money. So while in a perfect world my now annual game of the year list would have been a terribly contested and dramatic affair of cutting games I thought were good but just didn't make it, in actuality, I had to scramble and cheat a little to just find 10 games to slot in and talk about. I did at least manage to find them. Mostly.

10. Destiny 2

Destiny is a franchise with a troubled history, which feels weird to say about something that came out in late 2014. Nevertheless, Destiny 2's shooty looty gameplay loop finds its way on to my list. The story is tepid and the characters, with a few exceptions, are scarcely worthy of memory, but the visuals are good and the core mechanics of shooting and using abilities are a solid foundation to build upon in the inevitable flurry of DLC packages and expacs. It's all quite reminiscent of Borderlands, except without the unmistakable caustic ooze of Randy Pitchford's involvement. That in and of itself is praiseworthy.

9. Gravity Rush 2/Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Okay so I maybe didn't actually play this one myself. I usually try to exclude stuff that I watched and enjoyed but in this case I was sitting on the couch with other people playing it so that's basically the same thing as playing it myself right? I think I held the controller for a little bit. Anyway this game is super weird and charming and a little nauseating in parts because you sort of go flying off into the stratosphere randomly? But the aesthetic and Mood the game goes for is very unique and fun, it even has its own cute little made up language I mistook for French at first until I heard some Japanese and Spanish sounding words in there as well. The main characters Kat and Raven are dating I think? They're happy and alive girlfriends. Raven is a little broody I guess but they're definitely not the Sad, Dead Lesbians I have grown to detest. Raven is not Velvet. Just reminding myself. Tropical Freeze is just really good and while it maybe came out like years ago I only got to play it very recently on my friend's Wii U. The music is super good fuck you Jeff Gerstmann I will fucking fight you and your shitty opinions about video games you god damned grumpy old man.

8. The Surge

My Thoughts on the Surge are well documented on this very website. It's flawed and frustrating in a lot of ways, nonsensical in others, and the story never quite commits to its original conceit which is a real shame. All that said, I respect the game for what it was unabashedly trying to do: be Dark Souls but with cyborg powerloaders and robots. Like, you gotta live your bliss, right? Lords of the Fallen was utterly miserable and the improvements that The Surge demonstrates gives me cause for optimism in future games from the developer. Anything that gives me cause for optimism in 2017 has to be worth something. That said, the inevitable The Surge 2 is probably going to be kind of by the numbers and unnecessary but that's just how you make games in the 21st century.

7. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

To begin with, BotW would be much higher on this list if I had not only come into owning it and a Switch yesterday. It is by all counts extremely good, an open world game that's actually pleasant and charming and has meritorious mechanics outside of Todd Howard style "you can go fuck that mountain" nonsense. I mean don't get me wrong you can fuck plenty of mountains in this game. Link is fucking Spider-man in this game, the only surfaces he can't mysteriously latch on to are inside the puzzle shrines so you can't just cheese them. Weapon degradation is maybe a little excessive? I feel sort of like Bayonetta in the first cutscene where she keeps yelling "Guns!" when she runs out of ammo except I'm yelling "shitty wooden sticks!" when the one I'm using breaks into a million tiny pieces. I understand the reasoning behind it, I do. It establishes a certain rhythm to the game of exploring, fighting, stocking up on shitty wooden sticks, and repeating. When you find like, an actual sword or spear it feels like an occasion to celebrate, and the whole thing demands that you use a variety of different weapons and weapon-like objects. I'm not nearly far in enough to give an honest, comprehensive picture of the game. I just really like what I've played so far so I'm just compromising by putting BotW relatively low on the list.

6. Cuphead

It's Cuphead! Everybody knows Cuphead by now. It's gorgeous, the soundtrack is great if somewhat lacking in variety, King Dice is really cool but has extremely unfortunate racial undertones, the game is pretty hard (not that hard?) and Cala Maria is a babe. It's a singular game that is extremely worthwhile and hopefully paves the way for future games in a similar style of aping specific styles and eras of animation. I really want a game that goes hard on the 1950s Looney Tunes aesthetic where you just drop anvils on people forever. Cuphead isn't perfect, as a lot of the game's difficulty and length comes from bad checkpointing. It's a necessary evil, because if the game did not blatantly disrespect your time in a lot of the later fights, the game would be like, two hours long. I'm not a proponent of the "git gud" philosophy but I can't help but feel like I really want to say that to the various bad-at-games journos who got bent out of shape about Cuphead being hard. This is your damn job. You can suck it up for one game, especially when it's really very good and unique like Cuphead. Also my mom came in while I was playing it and thought I was watching a popeye cartoon so that was kind of cute I guess.

5. Civilization 6 (CHEATING AGAIN)

YEAH I KNOW THIS GAME CAME OUT LAST YEAR AND IM A HUGE IDIOT FUCKER but hear me out Civ6 is really fucking good because of the fact that Wonders take up physical space on the map and districting does the same thing. Like just this single mechanical change basically doubles the amount of thought and planning you need to put into playing the game even on low difficulties to optimize your output and production. Like it's a civilization game so there's not really anything too groundbreaking here but I fucking adore this game. Really looking forward to Rise and Fall, which will be early 2018. With the initial release being late 2016 I feel like this is like, an honorary 2017 game. Don't @ me.

4. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is another game I wrote about previously on the blog, but unlike The Surge I had basically nothing but good things to say about it. Hollow Knight has gorgeous hand drawn graphics and environments not entirely unlike Cuphead, but obviously goes for a much more reserved mood. Hollow Knight is a rock solid Metroidvania game with strong aesthetic and musical chops to back it up, as well as some Dark Souls-esque flourishes to give the game a bit of bite and a haunting narrative arc. A fantastic indie game and I can't wait to see what Team Cherry does next. I need to get around to doing the Halloween DLC, come to think of it. Did you know Zote actually has as many precepts as he says he does? I listened to them all. Some of them aren't too bad.

3. Nioh

Geralt the Witcher's moonlighting adventure as a samurai came out quite early in 2017, but remains one of the best games of the year due to its complex and rewarding combat system, beautiful Warring Kingdoms era Japanese architecture inspirations, fun mythological monster designs, and genuinely well done historical fiction backdrop. Coming into it, I fully expected "Dark Souls except the bosses are like Tengus and Nues and shit", but that description does the game a pretty big disservice. It's much more than that, both from a narrative standpoint, which is a fantastically tinged retelling of the Warring Kingdoms period, and from a gameplay one. The combat in Nioh is much more technical than in Dark Souls, with more pretensions of a combo based character action game than the deliberate, heavily customizable experience of the Souls games. Nioh is still quite hard and has the whole death-recovery mechanic, but it makes sense diegetically due to Guardian Spirit system and remains distinct. There are times when it tries to have the best of both worlds and just kind of ends up feeling like it doesn't do a good job at either, but for the most part, Nioh is tremendously fun, and at times infuriatingly difficult, especially in some of the post game optional battles that pit you against multiple bosses at once. Also, finding Kodamas is extremely rewarding because they are so damn cute. I love them. Find them at all costs.

2. Nier: Automata

Nier: Automata, Yoko Taro's latest brainchild, is, well, what it is. It's a hauntingly weird story about what it means to be human, and if that definition is really even adequate. It's a game with a lot to say, which is why I regard it so highly. The core gameplay is fun and serviceable, which is much more than I can say for its predecessor, the first Nier, which was memorable and affecting but played kind of like butts. 2B's android adventures are much more fluid and stylish, and you have a surprising amount of customization options available (though some arguably make the game a little too easy at points, like regenerating health) and there's enough variety in the little Machine Life form enemies (and the big ones, too) that fighting never felt like a chore to me. Of course, others have disagreed, but I think that the tedium really only sets in when you play as 9S, who has a much reduced arsenal of fighting moves in favor of his hacking skills. I liked the little shmup minigames that hacking entailed, so even 9S's story never felt too dull in the actual mechanical execution of it. People tend to have a misunderstanding of how the game works, that you need to complete it 4 times to get the whole experience, but that's not actually true. The 4 endings separate the game into acts more than anything. While 9S's story has a lot of overlap with 2B's story, endings C and D are just entirely new content where you play as A2, who has some tricks of her own distinct from 2B and 9S. It's not perfect, but it's not like you have to play the same game 4 times. It's a very story focused game, so much so that I would say experiencing the narrative is the main draw, but it has the decency to also be varied and fun to play. I love the parts where you get in the transforming flying robot and shoot the dudes. Especially the big dude. You know the one.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood

The latest Final Fantasy XIV expansion, Stormblood, is super good. I wrote a bit about it earlier, and how it has improved upon Heavensward in almost all respects. Stormblood is a superlative MMO expac, with well designed and amazingly presented raids, dungeons, and trials. It's full of "holy shit that's dope" moments, like when you get into a blade struggle against the primal Susano's gigantic Ame-no-Murakumo in an active time event or storm the fortress city of Ala Mhigo. Ultimately, though, what really makes me evaluate Stormblood as my game of the year is how surprisingly thoughtful it is. FFXIV has, since the relaunch of 2.0, been a game that has not shied away from complexity in its narrative conflicts. The juxtaposition of the mythically strong Warrior of Light and the surprisingly mundane issues even she cannot seem to fix has always been the game's most interesting element to me, and as you spearhead revolutions against the Garlean Empire in two different countries, you learn a lot about how imperial colonialism has made things too complicated to be fixed simply driving out the oppressors. You do, eventually, of course, but the story is quick to remind you that this is only the beginning, and a lot of key issues remain unsolved, both in the newly liberated provinces and back at home. Also the Dark Knight questline from 60-70 is basically the best the game has to offer. It feels to me like that Dark Knight is the unofficial Job of Stormblood, despite the promo material and opening movie having you believe it to be about Monks. Monks, as usual, are boring. The themes explored in the Dark Knight questline, about regret, about shades of gray, about self-destruction, all align perfectly with some of the subtler narrative arcs of the main story. It's just really good and I love it. I still really want to write a piece about it on its own. I probably will soon. But for now, I name Stormblood my game of the year, for reminding us that we are still heroes. That we are still good people.

[2m39cm]

Ideal top 11??? Obviously i think Jaehwan will be in yours so like, the additional top 10?

Sorry for making you wait! But I think I can finally answer your question!

I guess this list is a mixture of what I think the final lineup ranking will look like combined of course with my own personal preferences

DISCLAIMER: things that personally matter to me MOST in an idol group include: Overall group chemistry (no fake kindness, genuinely get along with others) Skills, Visuals,And in the case of PD101, A manly group NOT a boy group (none of that, “we are the Dream boys”….)

1. Kang DanielHe was eye catching since the beginning and we don’t even have to talk about how much his popularity has soared. If god forbid anything happen to Kim Jonghyun’s rank, he would be amazing leader potential. Daniel is skilled without question and i can still see him working hard to improve his singing and dancing skills on pd101. His ability to have a cute and manly personality is a bonus

2. Park JihoonHe won’t die in the hearts of Korean fans. And yes, I’m using his visual as my backup but that is also kind of the role of idols, to grab your attention and stand out. Being a very stable dancer and having a genuinely kind personality is a bonus. I think Jihoon is very hard working and he has an honest consideration for constantly pleasing his fans.

3. Kim Jonghyun Everyone knows he’s the best and maybe the only real candidate for leader. He’s most attractive quality is his hard working attitude. I think when you look at other kpop leaders in the industry, the best ones are always the ones that lead by pushing their members from the back. Moreover I think if this group were to ever get into any fights, Jonghyun would be a very neutral character and always keep a rational mind, making sure everyone was being appreciated and on good terms with each other

4. Ong SeongwooHe’s an all rounder. More importantly and rare, HES GOT SENSE. He has a playful variety personality that attracts people and makes them happy. Looks are a bonus and skills are dependable. Who cares if the group already has a large female fanbase but still, it’s good to know that Seongwoo has a solid group of male fans which means they probably won’t go for little boy concepts.

5. Hwang MinhyunAnother dependable member that adds unique vocal qualities. He also adds to creating a more manly and grown up group image. Despite being an idol for so long, I think Minhyun is ALWAYS showing signs of improvement. Like Seongwoo, I think he’s also a very valuable all rounder. Honestly I don’t think the country should choose the top 11, Minhyun should.

6. Kim JaehwanYes I’m very Kim jaehwan biased but I don’t wanna see him sitting at 11th. He deserves a rank around 6th. He’s skills are unbelievable. He’s works extremely hard despite never really dancing this much in his whole life and he’s super dependable. EVERY performance with him has been legendary. I’m sick of people arguing that he should be a singer not an idol… of course he wanted to be a singer, he’s tried so many times! But now hes come to his last resort, the one place where he can gain skills and still do what he loves, SINGING but as an idol.

7. Lee DaehwiI didn’t think things were looking good for daehwi due to the hate he was receiving as being a “center that was lacking” but just thinking/imaging what an ‘idol’ is, daehwi is exactly that except he comes with SKILLS. The only concern is that he is still young so he would have trouble blending into a very manly image but NEVER has started proving me wrong. On a side note, he’s a very suitable maknae

8. Park WoojinHe has an insanely good rapping voice and he’s even better at dancing. I was afraid that he would have trouble getting along with the others but it’s seems he’s SO MUCH MORE comfortable with the Hyungs now. He has a beagle character for sure! What I think is most valuable about Woojin is that he can do cute and manly.

9. Lai GuanlinI feel like this is some idea from SM but you can’t have a perfect group. When you see members that are lacking in certain areas, thats when the skills of others are highlighted even more, because they help to fill each others weak points. I think Lai Guanlin has shown a lot of improvement even though he has a LONG WAY to go but Koreans kind of like that. Koreans have lots of emotion and sympathy, they like to see underdogs come through and watch how they grow which is why I think Guanlin has been so popular

10. Im YoungminYeah another rapper to add to this group but I think youngmin has been a consistently good performer whether it be rap or dance. He has a surprisingly large fanbase which are very dedicated so it is quite a possibility seeing him in the final lineup. Seeing him adapt and his positive attitude after leaving the NEVER group was very admirable, a quick learner indeed.

11. Yoon JisungYou all think I joke but for real. He would tie the entire group together. Jisung is a good singer, great expressions and very driven. I think he’s dancing needs improvement and by that I think he just needs MORE confidence. Honestly he would be a great mood maker and really help the whole group get along. I can already see him shining on variety shows. In the words of Daniel, “idols should be good at everything”, INCLUDING VARIETY.

It’s an odd combo I know… but I truly believe the chemistry between this group would be amazing.

I’ll now explain why popular candidates like dongho, Samuel, Bae jinyoung etc. missed out on this list, but THEY STILL HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF BEING IN THE FINAL LINEUP

Dongho- I personally think Dongho is skilled for sure, but for me personally his entire image is very different to boys like daehwi and jihoon. I’m just not sure how he’d fit in. Also I think 3 nuest members will cause a lot more bad finger pointing at nuest and I also considered how Minki would feel if all of them got in except for him. It would feel AWFUL.

Bae Jinyoung - still mostly a visual but I think with more practice his vocals could be better. Every time I hear him sing it just feels like his struggling. BUT ASIDE ALL THAT, He needs CONFIDENCE. How can you be a performer if your not confident in your skills. Yes everyone is hating on haknyeon right now but he knows he’s lacking and yet, he’s still confident on stage. That’s something I think we need more of from jinyoung even though we’ve only seen tiny bits of it in Oh Little Girl

Kim Samuel - Samuel is a hard topic you see, I more than anyone else just wanna see his dreams come true but I don’t think he deserves to be buried in a group of 11 idol imaged boys. Samuel is unique, he should reach higher, solo is the way to go. However I completely respect if pd 101 is his way of gaining more attention before taking the next step as a solo artist

Yoo Seonho - I just don’t understand how he’s good at piano but lacks in the singing department haha. Seonho is great, he’s hardworking and I was suprised he picked up the choreography for Open It quickly. I think what puts him slightly behind Lai Guanlin is that he’s still unstable. I don’t think he’s really found HIS strength yet, although I think he’s leaning towards singing, it still has quite a way to go.

Ha Sungwoon - we all feel bad for him but I dunno anymore. I kinda resent him for giving up the role of main vocal in Downpour so easily. I wish he would’ve fought harder to be center then instead of being the one to suggest Jaehwan do it. But now it seems a little late. Sungwoo is overqualified for pd 101, but after mnet dedicated quite a bit of screen time to him, there’s nothing else they can do for his ranking. It’s ultimately up to the people and the only reason I can think of is that he doesn’t capture the attention of the majority? And I think that same statement goes for Noh Taehyun. Both skilled but unable to capture mass attention sometimes. It's just unpredictable with Sungwoon in general because his fanbase is also so unpredictable

So dats where I stand on my top 11, and if you read through all of that I honestly love you, leave a like so I know❤️

AGAIN, I highly doubt my top 11 will come true but THE FINAL LINEUP COULD REALLY BE ANYONE SO DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR FAVS YET.

Just my personal opinions, please don’t be salty.

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Incoming speel, ignore me just need to empty my head

Lately I've just been trying to find a place to fit in. I've always had a problem with that because the way I am and look doesn't typically match up exactly. It's like no matter where I go I always feel slightly out of place. Here on tumblr, discord, girl scouts (yes Im a motherfuckin girl scout, fight me.), school, I just don't fit any particular molds. I know it's supposed to be a good thing to be unique and not be like anyone else but I just really want to find a place where I can fit like a puzzle piece. The Markiplier and Jacksepticeye communities have become pretty damn close to the closest thing I can fit in but even then I still feel like I'm missing something. Another thing people always say is you don't need talent to show your appreciation for other people's content but without my edits, I don't really know how to do that. Without my edits, do I really even show my appreciation enough? Idk, some stuff has been happening lately and I've just been completely overloaded with thoughts. It's making me loose sleep and I just have to get it out. It's just so frustrating not feeling like you belong anywhere, but I'm still looking. Another problem I have is I get attached to things and people way too easily. It makes it hard because when something I love is ripped away, I have a hard time coping. It's like when I'm not supposed to have my electronics in my room when I go to bed, I have to sneak my phone up because I can't deal without it. Without electronics and people to talk to I'm left alone with my thoughts and that's when I start getting upset and emotional and shit. Cause I'm constantly reminding myself of so much bullshit I start to question my own sanity. I know my parents worry about me sometimes, once they even offered to get me therapy but I said no. I wish I had said yes. I also have way too many obsessions. Anything that makes me feel any emotion at all immediately becomes an obsession and I hate the fact that I am that way. I just want to casually enjoy something without feeling the need to put my heart and soul into it. And of course obsessions lead to even more emotions. For instance, Mark’s upcoming tour. I was hitting the refresh button in the middle of class hoping for a show near me. When I saw there wasn't one but there were still more shows to be announced I was shaking with anxiety for the rest of the fucking class. I can't handle myself when I like things, I go overboard. I guess it's a good thing I don't have any crushes or I'd be fucked. Last thing is, I want to learn how to love myself. People talk about self love but I never understood it . I always thought it was a narcissitic thing And I never trusted myself to love my self without me getting an ego about it. I've been loosing weight which is good and I've been trying to improve mu skills in general but I just don't feel giod enough for me if that makes any sense.

Okay, Im done.

[ianbhoy-blog1]

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Diabetes Escape Method Cons

A lot information. I just admit this con is a little biased. I have studied diabetes for quite some time, so the sections about how diabetes functions and the results it has on your body is currently well known to me. Therefore , I feel the Diabetes Escape Package book could’ve been a little bit more condensed. But , if you’re possibly newly diagnosed or just studious, then you will most likely find this kind of “con” to really be a “pro. ”

Could be a bit monotonous. It’s a food plan which involves fruits and vegetables; hence regular travels to the store are required. As well as the strict program means you have to be on top of factors. The fact that Diabetes Get out of Plan booklet can be downloaded onto other units makes this a little bit easier. Signs could also be successful, too.

Diabetes Escape Schedule Pros Well-presented information. I love how well put-together the information is within this guide. Yes, there is a bit very much in my opinion, but it surely was all of the informative, easy to understand, and very readable. Gary Martin’s 19-day approach leads no room with regards to second-guessing the instructions. And that’s exactly how it should be.

Great, actionable counsel. As a whole, the information and advice given in Diabetes Escape System was accurate (as in comparison with my own knowledge), eye starting, and beneficial. While I didn’t agree with all the things Gary Frank stated in his guide, I had been left with simply no inquiries about his knowledge and skills in the field of diabetes. The man has learned his issue.

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[vitalmindandbody]

Ellen von Unwerth:’ Let’s photograph girlfriends experiencing life’

Blending old-world charm with a uniquely provocative eroticism, Ellen von Unwerths photographs are a riot of merriment and sly subversion. Richard Godwin sounds why it is also necessary take ourselves less seriously

Ellen von Unwerth cant stop laughter. The German photographer, 63, is ricochetting around the Taschen gallery in West Hollywood in her sneakers, attempting to talk through the epitomes from her latest exhibition and skill work, Heimat .

So heimat entails Fatherland or Motherland or where you were born and where your springs are, she tells me. Bavaria is not my heimat , but we wanted to make a parody of the whole Bavarian thing.

The whole Bavarian thought, apparently, implies supermodels frolicking nude in Alpine fields, performing suggestive deeds with sausages, udders and holy innocents, sledging topless, spanking one another in dirndls and generally experiencing the fecundity and strength for which the southern German slopes are celebrated. Oh, ja , its exceedingly sexual there, even the clothes they push up the bosoms and there are lots and lots of sausages, ha ha ha, she justifies. But you assure so many images that are dark and depressing at the moment. All these happy maidens being pathetic! So I figured, tells show girls having fun and enjoying life.

The new Bardot: Claudia Schiffer in Italy, 1989. Picture: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth has a strange expertise for getting famous and beautiful girls( Claudia Schiffer, Madonna, Naomi Campbell, Rihanna, Kate Moss) to remove their inhibitions and regularly their underwear while retaining dominate. Her personas are often provocatively sexual, but its frequently her themes who are doing the cause. I always give them something to do, she commends. When somebodys not moving I get bored. I take two photos and I enunciate: Great, I have it now. But I adoration their own bodies in gesture. I like the nude figure in movement.

The fashion world adores her for this. You could tell from the raucous launch party for Heimat , where Arnold Schwarzenegger improbably scratched shoulders with Yolandi Visser, and most of the patterns from the film intention up leap in a swimming pool. Von Unwerths Instagram feed is among the few that oblige manner weeks actually appear fun. On International Womens Day, the fashiony recess of Instagram were awash with honours to her: You raise fun, sexy, craziness to set. I ever enjoy pushing my frontiers, embracing my femininity/ sexuality and of course my personality always raucous and proud when we work together, wrote one model, Alexina Graham. Ellen von Unwerths playful and empowering photos are such a glee to be a part of and I am so happy she is there to represent women around such a male predominated professing! wrote another, Syrie Moskowitz.

I ever give the models something to do: Ellen von Unwerth. Picture: Steffen Kugler

It is clear that everyone had a whole lot of giggles in Bavaria. Von Unwerth motions towards an image of three women topless on a sled: This prototype is Miss Russia and she created a pile of vodka to the hit. So the latter are drinking behind my back in the snowfall. Von Unwerth is not much paid attention to analysing. When I allude to the male gaze she has no idea what Im talking about. When I find myself grasping for the word pornography she hit back: Have you ever seen a porno? Well, one of your situations does literally depict two parties having fornication in a hayloft. Its more inspired by a B-movie sense of camp. I wouldnt speak porno.( After our interrogation, one of her aides announces me is responsible for ensuring that I dont think its prurient .)

Of course, the word I should have reached for was erotic. Or perhaps simply German. Seem at the gossip there was with Janet Jackson over here, she remarks referring to the Super Bowl nipple decline of 2004. It was a boob! Its something you should be proud of and not disguise. Specially if its nice. Ha ha ha ha! In Germany it is not like this. Even if you go to a common in Berlin in the summer, everybody is naked and playing frisbee. You would get arrested if you did that in LA.

Leg push: Bumpy Slide, from Heimat. Photograph: Ellen von Unwerth

Von Unwerth was assume in Frankfurt in 1954 and grown up in an orphanage and a succession of foster homes. She has no recollection of her parents and not much inclination to reflect on their absence. Its what made my life, she suggests. I was free from influence and I was able to take the best from everywhere. I dont really have a heimat . So her heimat is wherever she happens to be? Exactly.

She moved to Bavaria aged 16 to assemble a commune and later went to study in Munich. On her first day at university someone did: Hey, would you like to do a simulating errand? And I turned around and never went back to university. That led to a shoot for the German periodical Bravo , which in turn led to her being signed by Elite prototypes in Paris. I kind of hated modelling, but somehow I did it for 10 times. I was not really the exhibitionist form. Its hard psychologically to be a model. And mostly people told me not to move when I was constituting. I just wanted to be like the girls in my paintings now.

Your Turn,( Rihanna ), 2009. Image: Ellen von Unwerth

It was only in 1986 that she firstly started taking image herself a boyfriend lent her his camera on a fashion make in Kenya and she went into a nearby village to hit local infants. I came back home and demo them to your best friend and they were like: Theyre really good, Ellen! Because models are supposed to be stupid. I was astounded myself because I wasnt very interested in photography. I had never learnt how to do it.

Her images were published in the French magazine Jill , and she went on to shoot for i-D , the Face , Interview and Vogue , in the vein of her greatest force Helmut Newton. It was a kill with the then unknown Claudia Schiffer for French Elle in 1988 that realized both of their jobs. She was a sweetened girl and I didnt think so much of it, but when I looked at the pictures, I announced my husband[ music producer Christian Fourteau] and pronounced: Doesnt she look like Brigitte Bardot? The teeth, the eyes? Soon after we did the Guess jean campaign and it was a jumpstart to my busines. She likewise detected Eva Herzigov( shes oozing with verve) and Nadja Auermann, and shot the infamous 1995 Playboy shoot that was indicated that Drew Barrymore was no longer the girl from ET . She has remained in demand although there are the smartphone period has debased the art.

Saddle up: On the high horse, 2015. Photo: Ellen von Unwerth

Its not special any more to be a photographer, she supposes. Even when I take a depict, everybody stands next to me and takes the same slide. Five a few minutes later its on everyone elses Instagram and Im old-fashioned bulletin so Im was necessary to take word-paintings on my iPhone too.

She tells me she can usually tell the difference between a photograph a follower has taken and one a woman has taken. But I find it crazy how ladies photograph themselves all the time. When I was a girl and ogled in the reflect, my stepmother would come in and give me a smacking. There was this idea that if you did that, the devil would get in you and plagiarize your personality. Now everyone does this. I question simulates sometimes, Do you have to take so many selfies? And “theyre saying”: Only when I take selfies do I get likes. Its sad! Narcissism is so celebrated in our society, sometimes parties lose interest in other people.

Heimat by Ellen von Unwerth, rate 650, issued by Taschen as a collectors copy of 1,500 prints, each numbered and signed by the photographer. For more information, go to taschen.com

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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One-man army: My experiences with national service

THIS IS A WORK UNDER PROGRESS. I KNOW YOU LOVE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, BUT I’M GETTING THERE SO RELAK.

Prologue(i guess) I assume that by now my friends are in the know about national service in singapore. For those that aren’t, national service(NS) is a mandatory 24 month conscription period whereby all singaporean sons must serve in the armed forces. It could be in the army, navy, airforce, or civil defence. And even though there are generations of men that have been through this experience, and generations will, each experience is unique to its own. This is mine. I was drafted into the SAF in november 2016. On being drafted into the army, every man must go through a basic training phase where he’s trained in basic soldiering skills. It’s called the basic military training(BMT) phase. I’m not going to go into the details of it, but the jist of it is - your entire time in basic training, you’re a maggot. You’re the lowest lifeform on planet earth, treated lower than bacteria. Or algae. Atleast people are scared of bacteria. As a recruit in bmt, even bacteria will laugh at you. This makes no sense to a civilian with a privileged lifestyle with all his rights, but from the army perspective - they’re breaking you, inorder to make you again. In order to become a soldier, you need to get the sissy civilian out of you so you can be reformed. Now, to other armies of the world, this would make total sense. They all signed up for it voluntareely, knowing the shitstorm they will go through. In SAF? Nooo sirriee. Majority of these kids are the ones who just finished highschool and probably have no idea about the shit sandwich they’re about to be served. They’re forced into it, being given doses of ‘have you ever wondered, why must you serve?’ all along. (That is actually an army song sung when troops march) Anyway, that’s the case with the majority of the whole lot. Then there come people like me, the international singapore PRs. (Permanent residents, one step away from citizenship basically) In my case, i got no reason to complain man. I could’ve very well continued out on my life of vices on my beautiful student visa and gotten the hell out of here as soon as i could. But due to advice from the close ones and generally having the feeling of getting my act together, supported by the fact that a vast majority of my friends have done it and excelled as well, with the notion that there’s a life offered in here, i took up the challenge, thinking long-term. After graduating from basic training, i got posted as a combat medic trainee to undergo my medic training at the home of the medical corps, the SMTI. Yep, outta nowhere, vocations are shoved down your throat and you gotta deal with it. There’s lot of 'training’ factors which are considered, but i personally deem them bullshit coz my company best in basic got posted as a freakin’ security trooper. NOONE cares about your training phase. Except maybe your parents and your snapchat/insta peeps, when you brag about them army pics, feeling all alpha. Besides that, the ultimate deciding factor is the manpower requirement in respective departments. It’s like a lottery. So anyway, i won the lottery. After my basic, i’d started understanding myself more as a soldier, and figured out a couple of things about myself. First, in all honesty, i wasn’t a teamplayer. Couple of sparks every now and then, but atleast in this particular army, i wasn’t. I 100% el certainto only gave a shit about myself in the end. That’s kind of a large nono when you’re being trained to fight for fellow comrades/people risking your own life. Second, i’d lost the motivation to conquer physical/mental pain and become a leader courtesy of reason number 1, coz if you can’t feel for your men and their cause, you simply cannot lead. I didn’t. So yeap there you have it, my vocation largely involved none of that, so i was happy. Then I heard it’s a fucking relax training phase like a military university, so i got happier. Medic training is all lectures, drills, practicals, and not using your fucking phone during training. Plus a whole new level of freedom to eating. Which is largely the reason most medics around get fat easily. I did too yeap. Yadda yadda yadda, 11 weeks of training which im not going into the details of coz you can look it up and this is purely my experiences, another graduation. Another proud fucking moment. I get posted out again. And this time, i hit the mother of all lotteries - the big prize, the medical centre at the officer cadet’s school. Allow me to explain. As a medic in a medical centre, it’s a stay-out job. Which means, goodbye 5-day in camp weeks and hello 8-5 regime. Come to work, do yer thang, and get the fuck out. Which is what the majority of civilian population on earth does, so yeap, i was ecstatic. But yeah, every job comes with perks and extra responsibilites, this was no exception. A subset of a medical centre medic is going on 'covers’. Covers involve providing medical support to troops when they’re out training. Could be anything from incamp activities to overseas jungle exercises. Now, safety is the backbone of the SAF and a protocol even jesus couldn’t fuck with. Which means, things are a-okay most of the time but there the occasional minor incidents which is what we’re there for. Covers are done occasionally all depending on manpower and schedules. Besides that, we’re also assigned as 'duty medics’ which is basically staying in the centre after working hours and ensuring functionality for any after-hours casualties. I’m on duty right now, lol.