#which i got an accidental hit tweet over
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saewokhrisz · 1 year ago
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justice
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wingzie · 13 days ago
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BTS in the UK Part One: 2017- 2018
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On 25th September 2017, BTS had its first play on UK Radio with DNA. The song was played by Olivia Jones on TheHitsRadio. This was followed on 2nd October, with the first play of DNA on BBC1 Radio with Adele Roberts, who would interview BTS later on.
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Olivia interviewed Namjoon a month later, for their first UK interview. Namjoon was aware that UKArmy had sent her purple flowers as a “thank you” for playing DNA. He also mentioned chartings and wanting to go to the UK, which they were meant to do in 2017.
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Adele Roberts interviewed BTS in South Korea and filmed some dance practice behinds.
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The LG x BTS Advert was played at Piccadilly Circus during the summer of 2018.
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The O2 Tube posted a photo of the board with BTS track names and lyrics. 
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BTS performed at a sold out O2 Arena in October 2018. UKArmy were hyped up before the concert even began, by singing the songs playing out around the arena. 
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Big Hit announced online that Jungkook had injured his heel and was advised to not dance on stage. At the venue, their interpreter relayed the same information. UKArmy responded by chanting Jungkook's name in support.
Backstage, Jungkook had indeed injured himself whilst warming up. The members and staff comforted him as they weighed up their options.
Jungkook went to get his stitches and the rest of the group discussed the adaptations that would need to be made. The members spoke to each other over the mics and then got into position as the concert began.
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The concert continued with high energy and all the members did their best, whilst including Jungkook in the songs.
Full Link 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9igTbMrr8w
Full Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f-hSy_njlI
Full Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CVTW_YZ90I&list=PLYEZN69Ouffxi1ZkbHRNxBJnJMXVqRTiq
Jin tweeted after the concert
The next day, Jungkook tried to convince the members to let him walk around during the medley. Jin then wheeled him and the concert began. Showing their great teamwork as they continued to work hard on stage.
Full Concert Link
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Hobi Tweeted “I enjoyed London.”
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On 11th October, BTS were featured on the BBC News. In the background, we can see them talking amongst themselves 
In the interview, Jungkook talked about the concert and that they would come back to England. Clips of UKArmy were also used, with Namjoon talking about the importance of mental health/healing with music and Hobi talking about their dances as a team.
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Another interview from the UK was Noisey’s Questionnaire of Life and Lorraine BTS Take on a British Quiz
Link 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpxmQMDahiU&t=144s
Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqqi0C0w6w&t=258s
They also did two NME interviews Link 1:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L993jVyE1I4&t=1s Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2tUY95IzLc&t=4s
BTS was on the Graham Norton show whilst in the UK. Unfortunately, JImin was unable to join them due to muscle strain. In the behinds, the members talk about how to do the Idol performance. Later on, the members say how much the performance was a struggle.
Full Episode Link with interview:
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The members posted some tweets as they were leaving London. Namjoon accidentally overlapped Tae’s and then apologised. 
On 21st October, BTS played the Award Box Challenge to collect their awards for Best International Group and Best Social Media Star.
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On 15th November 2018, Burn the Stage was released in the UK. With BTS Love Yourself in Seoul being aired a few months later.
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traincat · 6 months ago
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hello!! i reaally wanted to write a fic centered around johnny and mayhaps the rest of the f4, but i haven't read many of their comics yet and i don't wanna accidentally make them too ooc. can you gimme some tips on characterization please???
also hey, here's the anon who asked u about f4 characterization. which comics would you recommend in terms of best characterization??
Hey anon, sorry for the wait! So honestly I've been thinking a lot about characterization and I think this is a general rule but also it goes especially for comic characters who have been written by so many people over the years -- there's never going to be one branch of "in character." Everything is filtered through every writer's experiences at all times. So I think an important thing is to look at your characterization and ask yourself whether it feels right and real to you. Ultimately, you're the one who has to be happy with it.
I also think the way "in character" is treated sometimes in fandom isn't necessarily helpful. As an example: say it's common practice in Made Up Fandom to say Character A never cries. If you have him cry in fic it's out of character, says snide tweet 2024 to eight billion likes. And like, sure, maybe Character A cries a lot in some fic and not so much in canon, but the thing is everyone cries. It's not particularly useful from a characterization standpoint to say "Character A never cries." It's more helpful to go, "In what situation do I think Character A would cry? What would push him to tears? Does he cry when he's happy, sad, angry?" When I wrote Work Song, I needed a scene where Peter broke down and revealed everything, which was a problem because he's not Mr. Let Other People Help. So I took the time to push him into a corner where I felt it was organic that the character would share his problems. It's easy to go "X is out of character" but not constructive. It stretches your muscles more to try and figure out how to get X to a point where what you want to happen is in character. Go with your instincts; they're usually pretty good and they're something that will only get better the more you use them.
Also, and your mileage may vary on this one, but what's useful for me is to kind of look at characterization as excavation -- you're digging up something, uncovering it piece by piece. You can see the ground layer but now you've got to break through underneath it. For characters who have been in hundreds of issues like Johnny, I like to hit up really weird little single issues or lesser known series. There's this one issue that's formatted as one of those Wizard Magazine interviews where Johnny lists his three favorite movies as two installments of a Simon Williams action piece that would be equivalent to the MCU-style movies and also Titanic, and that one has always stuck with me as a really fun detail. Or there's a Marvel Knights 4 issue where every other word out of Johnny's mouth is a reference to a horror movie.
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(Marvel Knights 4 #26) Thanks Johnny. Another Johnny thing I really like to keep in mind is that what's going on underneath and what's going on on the surface are not necessarily the same thing. Johnny can come off selfish, entitled, immature, or uncaring, but there's a deep volcano of compassion inside there. He's a very emotional character, which is something that's always fun to write.
I also find repetition really helpful when I'm trying to get the basics of a character down, which, again, might not be helpful for anyone else. Or it might only be useful for certain characters -- it's a lot easier to reread twenty issues than two thousand. I love my reference folder because a lot of times I'll remember some line or little canon thing and want to look it up and read it again. If you don't like saving panels from comics, just writing down what issue something is in is helpful, too. But that's just what works for me.
For Johnny specific comics, I have a bunch of Fantastic Four comics recs here (note that the "current run" I advise against in this post is Slott's run and not North's) and here! I hope you find some comics that you love and that you write the Johnny fic of your dreams!
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demonstars · 2 years ago
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ultimate fic recs by nunki demonstars
no order of preference, just my all time fave dnf/dteam fics!
tried to keep it to one fic per author but honestly i didn't really pay attention, i just posted from my bookmarks. for this reasons, all authors are credited and linked to ao3. there's cc and c!/manhunt au fics (more of the former, but the warning seems necesary). there's also both nsft and not on this list, which are marked.
the list grew without my intention, so without further ado, here's a chaotic and huge list of fic recs from 2020 to 2023, for your enjoyement.
Kiss me in the morning light by dangergranger & shadeofblue
Five times Dream kisses a man (that isn’t George) and one time he finally does it right.
mood ring baby by minecraftbed
A proposal, of sorts.
paper & crayons by snowdreamr
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Dream and George taking care of a child on Valentine’s day is a terrible, terrible idea.
all of you, a verb in perfect view by findinghomes
Despite being soulmates, they do nothing about it (well, okay, maybe not nothing).
tug me closer by effervescentwolf (expl.)
Dream likes getting his hair pulled. George just likes making him fall apart.
Protected by Anonymous
Dream is the Crown Prince and the future king. His sworn duty is to protect his kingdom from outside threats, especially from the scourge of magic. George is his best friend and, technically, his servant. And he has a secret.
stage left by anonymous
cc!dnf roleplay c!dnf
down my arms, a thousand satellites by crabnap
Dream gets sick and George, to his amazement, is actually very soft and caring about it. Surely nothing life-changing will come of this.
my heart (in your chest) by heartinhands
It's an early morning in LA and George just wants to be with Dream.
a little bit of you by sickah (expl.)
Dream is over waiting on George, especially when all George does is tease him and lead him on. So, he meets a hot girl at Twitchcon and she turns out to actually be really, really cool. George loses his fucking mind.
cherries by sappymix1
Everyone always said that Dream loved too much.
loving you is bigger than my head by tippysleeps (expl.)
"You only ever talked about, like, footballers.” “Yeah,” Dream says, like it’s obvious. “To you. What, was I supposed to talk about my attraction to you as it was developing?” George blinks. “You talked to people about your attraction to me?”
lavender haze by furculaed
“Lavender?” he asks, holding up the bottle. The afternoon air has this foggy feel to it, almost like nothing is real. But the heat of the sun is curling around George’s hair and his smile strikes deep into his heart right where he loves him so Dream thinks this has to be real. “It’s supposed to help you sleep.”
At the Intersection of Infinity by DeathSquiggles
dream is trapped in a time loop on his 23rd birthday and keeps repeating the day with no clear way out.
your hands were warm (though you came in from the cold) by didnt
George and Dream are roommates and somewhere down the line things got messed up.
got me looking so dumb right now by dreamsickle
About a month after George gets to Florida, Sapnap takes a spontaneous trip with Punz up to Karl's for a week. He gets home, and something's different.
at the mouth of desire by offday
Somehow, close was not close enough.
aurum scarce (and meant for kings) by wooowriter
George's first hurricane.
my pen and paper cause a chain reaction by dizzy
George has some issues with something Dream tweeted.
hit my heaven's door by preytall (expl.)
It'd be easy, then, to overlook. But Dream keeps playing with the chain.
ignore my heart and lie to the truth by mincraftbed (expl.)
“You wanna be like… friends with benefits?”
Misquote Me (Do It Once More) by MoniFoundLove
In which George drops hints about their future and Dream ignores them a few times (accidentally).
thy eternal summer shall not fade by greyquills
A month into their senior year of high school, Dream spends the entirety of period three AP Literature class finding new and creative ways to flirt with George. George is understandably flustered.
but i was always on my way to him by womanhunt
Dream and George spend their first night together after meeting.
A Quiet Life (A Handshake) by undermycoat
The strongest dam in Essempy will never break, no matter if it cracks or leaks. George is not the strongest dam.
For The Bit by biboyhalo (expl.)
5 times Dream and George get distracted during sex and the 1 time it actually matters.
be the one by riversofgold (expl.)
Agreeing to be friends with benefits with George is the worst decision of Dream's life.
love on film by havocrat
George arrives in Florida. It takes four days to film the meetup vlog, and only three for Dream to completely lose his mind.
the first day of the rest of our lives by wooowriter
George's first full day in Florida.
to burn with desire and keep quiet by falsettodrop (expl.)
Varying degrees of togetherness, in four parts.
until you're by my side by sweetuhcreature
A late night in Florida, a later night in London. George thinks there's something wrong with him.
suck a dick fallacy by literaphobe (expl.)
Dream has so much he wants to explore about his sexuality, but no one he trusts enough to do it with. Lucky for him, George is finally in Florida. Surely things will be easy enough to figure out between best friends like them. It ends up spiraling far beyond what either of them could anticipate.
get you the moon by snowdreamr (expl.)
It’s George’s birthday, and he finally allows himself to love.
You Are the Golden Dawn by hircinean (expl.)
dream falls in love with george all over again, several years later.
I'll Be Here When You Return by mssjynx (expl.)
Five times that George took care of Dream, plus the one time that Dream took care of George!
i think he knows by Anonymous
It’s a weekday in Florida, and Dream seems perfectly content to like fanarts in which he’s kissing GeorgeNotFound on the mouth. George, for all his worth, can’t help but do something about it.
button-downs and seashells by quartzfia
George is a daycare receptionist and literally falls on his face for a tall blonde who comes in early for pickup.
Deep sea, baby by orphan_account
You survey his skin as if it will erase a border.
late spring by towerofthegods
It's the hours between night and morning, and Dream wants to know more.
the elephant in the room by heyobsessions
the things dream learns about george after he moves to florida, and the things they learn together
sugar honey sweet by enonymous
Gift-giving as a love language, or: 5 times Dream bought George something, and 1 time George bought something for him.
Do Androids Dream of Poetry? by ABirdWithoutFeathers
> Happy birthday!! Who are you? > My name is George! it is so, so nice to finally meet you. What is a birthday? > It’s the anniversary of the day you come into existence, when you start being. Today is your very first day in the world. Oh. Well, what do I do now?
flirting on the timeline by cloudfarmer
Dream is a popular Minecraft Youtuber and George runs a stan account for him on Twitter. After George replies to one of Dream's tweets with a jokingly flirtatious proposal, it quickly turns into a lot more than George was expecting when Dream publicly accepts.
cinnamon and swirl
Dream decides to tell his friends about his daughter right before they move in.
Saying something stupid like, "I love you" by noquesadilla
misunderstandings, obliviousness, and food poisoning. Never a good combination, less when it's Valentine's Day.
i'm not just drunk, i really think i'm in love with you by nervouswaltz
Dream gets drunk at a party. He calls George.
give you my heart if you’d take it by copperfic
He knows he has no right to be upset, hates that he is, hates the burn of jealousy so strong he almost feels sick, but every time he imagines Dream, loose and tipsy and happy, kissing some stranger—multiple ones by the sound of it—he has to swallow the urge to scream or throw up or, god forbid, cry.
circle the drain by twostorms
George makes it to Florida. It’s more complicated than it should be.
where the sun sleeps by meridies
The crew are pirates with no mercy, George is a selkie, and there is more to Dream than meets the eye.
something that's real by lodestones
George used to dream of this—settling into a life together, meeting the family, building furniture in their house, for their room—of domesticity and easy comfort and happiness, like nothing he’s ever known.
two reflections into one by mieldoux (expl.)
It takes Dream some time, but when he comes to the realisation, it rewires the chemistry in his brain. He and George—they have the same thing, it seems. The thing for the stubble.
ilysfm (i love u so fucking much) by zephryus
Five times George swore like hell, and the one time Dream reciprocated.
Love Me Loud by DeathSquiggles (expl.)
George has a fresh Foodbeast’s Kitchen League Battle Royale victory under his belt and a spring in his step from the energy of the crowds. He expects Dream will want to shut himself away in his hotel room and decompress alone after what must have been one of the most overwhelming days of his life. Dream has other plans.
Comorbidity by sappymix1
It's summer, and the face thing is making both of them a little weird.
you got the peaches (i got the cream) by (it says orphan acc but i'm 95% sure it's preytall's old acc) (expl.)
A love letter to George's... assets.
bibingka by furculaed
Dream gets home from a night of drinking and decides to decorate the house.
it's a big refrain (after all) by tippysleeps
It takes mere weeks in the loving heat of Florida for him to look at Dream out of the corner of his eye, and think he could take on anything as long as it was with him.
One night (or forever) by winterlighting
George breaks his bed on his first night in Florida, then a sleeping arrangement that was meant to last until he got a new bed frame soon turned into a routine; full of domesticity and gestures that blur the platonic line.
revelations in distance and proximity by indigoh
2020 Dream and 2023 Dream unknowingly swap bodies for a day to heal past wounds. 2020 Dream has an opportunity to confront feelings he’s pushed down and repressed while 2020 George gets some of the reassurance he needs.
When The Sunlight Dies by bramble_patch & personalized_radio
It's been three months since the coup. Three months since Sapnap, a knight, and George, his prince, have been chased out of their home. Three months of being on the run, trying to find a safe way out of Kinoko without being caught by the president's mercenaries or an opportunistic bounty hunter.
just a test by honeyplease
“I asked,” Dream replies, sounding far too unbothered for the words that follow this, “When are we gonna kiss?”
Who Can Love You Like Me? by ivegivenuponyou (expl.)
“Can we go to our room?” His small hand reaches forward, curling around Dream’s neck and pulling them closer until their chests touch. There’s a glint in his eyes that Dream can recognize even in the dark. “We literally just got home, how are you already horny?” He can’t help but grin, throwing his arms over George’s shoulders.
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petri808 · 1 year ago
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Day 1 @flufftober “I’ve got you” Nalu Drabble
“Aww, it’s been sooo looonnggg,” Lucy whines as she stretches her lower back and twists from side to side. “I can’t wait to get up this trail and take in that sweet clean air!”
Natsu chuckles as he finishes clicking the buckle of his backpack and checks to make sure the strap is nice and snug around his chest. “I wonder if we’ll see deer this time, that’d be cool.”
They work a lot of hours, Lucy as a crime journalist and him as a firefighter, so it’s hard to find a time when they’re both off on the same day. Now, it’s finally autumn, technically at least, with the heat index no longer in the triple digits to make hiking uncomfortable. Summer was truly miserable this year too, super dry conditions with no summer storms. For his job, that meant more fires than normal, often accidental like someone deciding to barbecue with coals over dead grass or kids burning trash in a barrel out of boredom.
She takes a swig of her water bottle before putting it away in her satchel. “Do you think it’ll be this dry up there too?” Lucy asks as she taps the dry grass with her foot causing a crunching sound.
“It’ll be dry, but probably not this dry once we get to about the 8,200 foot elevation and the forest is thicker.”
“8,200 feet?”
“Maybe two-thirds to three-fourths the way up the trail.”
“Oh, okay. It’s just kinda sad to see it like this.”
They’ve been on high alert, but his boss approved this time-off months in advance because in another week they will be saying “I do.” It may seem odd to be going hiking instead of using the time to solidify wedding plans, but relaxing is just as important for their sanity. And besides, he’s sure Lucy will agree when he says, that the wedding is just a formality at this point. Altogether, they’ve been close for 20 years, a couple for 13 of those years, and the marriage certificate signed 8 years ago. The only reason the ceremony took so long to take place is their busy careers.
Natsu walks over and puts his arm around her waist before kissing her temple. “I couldn’t agree more.”
The trail they’ve chosen is considered a moderate one in length and difficulty, two miles one way with an incline of about 8-12 degrees give-or-take. It’s a well worn and a well marked trail popular with locals, so the couple will have no difficulties scaling it. The forest is made up of a lot of needled tree varieties like pines, firs, and spruces as well as maples or hardy mahogany’s or an occasional mountain apple. There are also a spattering of berry options in the area that the deer and other wildlife eat like blackberry, mulberry, snowberries, and elderberry.
So many things to look at! And the smell… just a myriad of earthly scents in a dry air filling their lungs to replace what the city’s pollution left behind. They take their time as they traverse the dirt-packed trail, worn into a shallow groove from years of service, up the shallow incline of the mountain pass in a zig-zag. Every so often, they can hear the sounds of small creatures scampering through the leaf litter, through brush, or maybe a squirrel in it’s hollowed tree den high above. The birds too, add to the natural symphony with differing tweets and twittering chirps, or perhaps a call of warning when they see the two-legged creatures passing by. They were happy to see that while dry, once they got deeper into the tree line the flora appear to have weathered the summer sun just fine.
Eventually they reach the 8,000 foot elevation which is almost to the turning point in the trail. Here there is an opening in the tree line that allows the couple to peer down into the valley below that separates this mountain range into two. Maybe if you listen hard enough on a day with very little noise, it’s possible to hear the whooshing, burbling sounds of the river at it’s heart. Here the trail is around three feet wide. On the mountain side, there’s approximately four more feet of brush before you hit the wall, but on the other there is a sheer drop off the cliff side. Because of the trails worn out groove, it creates a sort of lip or raised berm before the cliff begins. Now, the cliff itself is deceiving because the cliff side is covered in low brush and bramble, and tops of trees that have taken root at a lower level. It makes it difficult to see just how steep it really is and camouflages the dangers.
Natsu takes off the pack and puts it on the ground so he can grab something to snack on and a drink. He then sits down on a large rock on the mountain side of the trail. It’s as good a time as any to take a break and appreciate the beautiful scenery. Lucy too accepts a small bag of trail mix from him before stepping near the edge of the berm. As she munches on finger-fulls of the treats, she takes a wide survey of the area. This isn’t the first time they’ve been here or stopped at this very spot before, so it’s nothing really new.
“Look!” Lucy points to some trees to their right near the entrance of the valley. “They’re starting to turn color! I bet if we came back in a month this whole area will be a multi-color sea of leaves!”
“Oh yeah?” Natsu responds. “That’ll make for some nice photos, maybe we should come back to take pics to turn into holiday cards?”
Finding the suggestion appealing, Lucy turns on her heel quickly to face him. “Oh, I love that idea!”
And that’s when he sees it. As Lucy spins around in her excitement, the dirt beam which is normally solid and compact, completely crumbles and breaks off the cliff’s edge. “LUCY!” Natsu screams as he pops up and tries to reach…
“Huh?” Lucy instantly looks down, but it’s already too late as she feels the ground below her feet give way. “OH! AHHH!” She cries out and her eyes blow up like saucers as she drops below the edge.
All Natsu can see as his hand grabs air is the love of his life disappearing from view, with her wide-eyed expression burning into his mind. “Lucy!!” He stumbles to his knees and peers over the edge.
“Natsu!!” She screams back.
‘Oh thank the stars!’ Natsu instantly lets out the air he’d been holding in when he sees that Lucy is about four feet down and has managed to grab onto a root. It’s still a precarious situation, evident by the continuously crumbling dirt around them. The root could give way or more of the cliff edge which would send Natsu down too. The abnormally hot and dry summer conditions have left the bare soil so dry that there’s little to keep it together. “Lucy! Don’t panic! Okay? Babe don’t move around too much, stay as still as you can okay?!”
“O-Okay,” Lucy sniffles, “p-please hurry!”
Natsu locks eyes with her and steadies his breathing as his emergency training kicks in. He knows better than most the importance of staying calm and appearing confident in these situations. “I got you! Lucy, you believe me right? I’m gonna get you out of there!”
A sense of ease rolls over when Lucy feels the cocksureness flowing from her man. She knows she can count on him, but to feel it is surreal. “I do! Y-Yeah, I do!”
He takes a quick assessment of the edges stability and notes he can’t put a lot of pressure on the dirt or it will break off again. That means if he tries to just reach for her and it gives way, they will both fall. Okay, the cliff face is at give or take a 55-65 degree angle, and no way to know if it turns into a sheer drop further down. There are several bushes doting the area though there’s no way to know how deeply rooted they are. Natsu can also see a many random divots on the cliff face created when rocks are likely dislodged due to weathering. He reaches down and yanks on a close-by bush to see how deeply rooted it is and it’s more solid than it looks. The edge is weak, but if he lays flat, and uses the rest of his body to counter and distribute his weight, he should be able to reach down maybe two feet. But that still means he’s two feet shy of reaching her.
“Okay, Lucy?”
“Y-yeah?”
“I’m gonna need you to trust me and do exactly what I say. Can you do that?”
“O-Okay…”
“You trust me right?”
“Of course, I trust you.”
“Do you see that bush just above your head? I want you to grab onto it at the base. Keep holding onto the root, but grab the bush with your other hand.”
“Okay…”
“And— but don’t looks down! There is a divot in the ground just below your left knee. I need you to use the bushes to help you pull yourself up until your foot can catch hold of the divot. Let your body drag along the ground not lift up while you do that. Once your foot feels like it’s solid in the divot, reach for the next two bushes above. You should feel another divot maybe another foot up to match. Can you do this? I should be able to reach you if you can get closer.”
“I-I’ll try.”
“Not try,” Natsu pushes her to think positive, “baby, you will!” He moves into position to where from his rib cage down it’s laying on the ground over the trail with the weight of the backpack anchoring his feet. He leans over the edge and extends his hand as far as it will reach. “Come on Lucy! Grab my hand!”
Tentatively, Lucy starts to make her move, first grabbing the base of the bush, then pulling up as her foot skims for the divot. Once it hits an indentation, she presses into it with her toes for stability. Just as she’s about to move to the next bushes, a couple of small rocks break free from the edge where Natsu is laying, causing her to look down.
Seeing how far up they are spooks her, and reminds her of the precariousness of the position. “I’m scared, Natsu…” Lucy whimpers. Why is this happening to them? It’s such a beautiful day, going on a hike which is something they enjoy. And right before the wedding ceremony. “It’s so high…”
“Look at me,” Natsu commands and Lucy instantly obeys. With her eyes transfixed, he responds as soothingly as he can muster. “It’s okay to be scared, but look’it, you already did the first step, just one more.” He flexes his fingers and smiles. “Take a deep breath and come to me Lucy!”
No verbal response, she just gives a shaky nod as she looks at her target and reaches for it. One bush grabbed onto, then two, and finally, her foot finds the divot.
“Now let go of one bush, and reach for my hand.”
With a trembling gulp, Lucy slowly reaches up, crawling her fingers up the cliff face as she aims for Natsu’s hand.
“Almost there…” He assures as he extends as far as he can as well. When he feels the tips of her fingers, “almost there…” Lucy stretches on tiptoe giving her the last bit of distance needed for Natsu to grab her left wrist. “Gotcha! Okay, I’m gonna start pulling, keep grabbing onto things too.”
“O-Okay.”
Little by little with him pulling and her reaching, they scale the cliff face. One foot conquered, two feet, each shift and movement triggering little cascades of dirt or rock causing Lucy to pause and lower her head to avoid them. Two more feet to go. “Grab onto my neck as soon as you can with one hand.” He lifts the few inches allowing her to do just that. “Okay…” Natsu tenses up his core and thighs, and presses down with his knees tensed to provide additional drag. After getting one arm around her back and side, with hand under Lucy’s right armpit, he uses everything his torso can offer, pulling up while using his knees to scoot backwards a few inches. Once her shoulders have cleared the edge, she wraps her other around his neck. Natsu changes positions quickly, still holding her tightly with his left, he uses his free hand to push off the ground while his legs shift and curl to the side and pulling her up and over. This brings his knees under him and allows him to use them as a lever for this final hurrah. With a straining grunt, Lucy is yanked over the edge, the momentum causing Natsu to fall onto his back and her onto his chest, immediately wrapping his other arm around her and scooting all the way back to the mountain side of the trail. He sits up and keeps her in his lap.
One would expect an immediate celebration, but such a physical and mental expenditure takes it’s toll. For half a minute they remain, wrapped tightly to each other in silence save for the natural symphony oblivious around them and the rise and fall of their chests while their breathing returns to normal. But soon, all the adrenaline that helped Natsu through, runs away, and all the emotions he’s tamped down explode to the surface. He’s been through tons of emergency rescues and battled hundreds of blazes, but never once has he felt this level of fear. Natsu keeps his head on Lucy’s shoulder, but adds pressure against her neck as a he speaks. “I thought I lost you…” his shaky words in a somber tone are just barely audible as if he’s too afraid to give it any more power.
Lucy reciprocates, tilting her head into the nape of his neck. “Me too…” She tightens her hug when she feels the moisture from his tears starting to soak the fabric of her shirt. His trembling frame speaks volumes. For as long as she’s known this man, she can’t think of a time when he’s shown this level of vulnerability. Always the protector worrying more about others than himself. “Natsu, I re—ally don’t know how you can handle death defying stuff so calmly, ‘cause that was fucking scary!”
“I’d rather do my job a hundred times over than go through this again.” Natsu mumbles. And he means it. They’re lives, their spirits are so entwined already that if he lost her, it’s like being dead too.”
They stay tangled for a little longer before getting to their feet and start heading back down the trail, but both are exhausted, so it takes a little longer than usual, stopping every so often for breaks. The air around Natsu feels heavy and yet light too. How can one feel both at the same time, well, it’s the only way he can explain it. As a trained emergency responder, it’s his job to be aware of anything dangerous and yet today he failed to notice the dry dirt or how close Lucy was getting to the edge. Perhaps this guilt is where the heaviness comes from and yet lightness stems from the same source. It’s because he is trained that he was able to save her life today and that has to feel good.
Sensing something amiss, Lucy squeezes the hand she’s holding and leans her head against his bicep. “Something bothering you?”
“Mmm,” Natsu throws on a genuine smile. Death always makes us think what if, but it’s time to let go. Lucy’s still here, smiling, and holding his hand as they walk along the trail. She’s not letting this experience hold her down. Plus, she’s tougher than she looks, and if he continues to feel sorry, it’s an afront to her inner strength. Sometimes… it’s a wonder who’s really the savior between them. “Nope,” Natsu smiles and kisses her temple area. “Not anymore.”
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zqteez · 2 years ago
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we’ve got you | ot8 x reader
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summary: you finish a stage preforming with ateez thinking you fucked up and made the worst but ateez has your side.
genre: gender neutral, fluff
wc: 778 (she’s short i know)
warnings: none just slight cursing thats it, if i missed anything please tell me
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you and ateez are getting ready preform at music bank with the song “HALAZIA” which is the first ever stage. you’ve practice every night and day getting ready to promote the comeback. your pumped up and excited for what the news and atiny will say about ateez and your dance, vocals and stage presence.
you start preforming and you quickly get the hand movements incorrect and accidentally have a tiny slip while moving, your facials change in a instant knowing you’ve messed up the whole performance. from the corner of your eye you notice hwa and hongjoong checking on you while mingi is on stage alone with backup dancers. hwa nudges you in a sign or asking if your good, you put up an okay sign with your fingers shaking.
after the performance ends and the lights dim you immediately run off stage with everyone looking at you even some off stage wondering what had happened and gotten into you. you run into the public bathroom backstage and start wiping your makeup off crying. you hear a sudden knock at the door.
“y/n..” the voice sounded familiar but you were still balling your eyes out while taking makeup off. “its me wooyoung..”. “go away.” you say in a stern voice. wooyoung ignores you and pushed the door almost hitting you. “what’s wrong.” he says with his voice shaking. you look up at the cherry headed man with a eyebrow piercing and smooth lips. your eyes started watering up again and your head crashes into his chest and you both immediately hug each other. “let’s meet up with the other members.” you both exit the bathroom.
you guys eventually meet up and you sat on the couch covering your face with a blanket lying down. “no..no no no whats wrong don’t sit in silence like this it makes it worse.” hongjoong says while pulling the blanket off your head. he notices your red eyes and hugs you. all of the other member start to hug you back. “please tell us what’s wrong.” jongho exclaimed. “no. i dont wanna say anything.” “please y/n tell us we can make you feel better for whatever happened.” yunho pleaded. “okay fine.” you stood up from your seat readjusting your position on the couch.
“so when performing and doing the hala hala hala hala halazia part, i messed up the arm movements and then i slipped a little afterward and now i bet you everyone is talking about it.” you explained going straight on your phone to twitter to see if anyone noticed. “i bet you nobody noticed it, i didnt notice when we were preforming and i was close to you.” san said. everyone else agrees but you.
“im TELLING you everyone saw it and now i—“ you stop talking when you notice something on your phone. everyone looks are you worryingly. “what..” seonghwa says with his voice shaking. you notice someone had already noticed your mistake and the tweet is filled with hate comments in the last 3 minutes. “shes such a bad dancer, trained 6 years for what.” another comment says “ain’t no way she just messed up live, y/n do better for real”. these comments had you turn off your phone and throw it accidentally at yeosang and mingi. “whoa whoa what happened now..” yeosang says holding the phone. you hold your hands over your face and start balling your eyes out again. this has never happened before, even when debuting with them, no mistakes whatsoever. you don’t know what had gotten into you.
“please don’t start crying because then we’ll all start crying with you.” jongho replied to your crying. everyone starts hugging you and you hug back in comfort. “don’t let the comments get to you y/n, were here for you, we love you and care for you, all of us are here for you.” yunho mumbled in the hug. you break the hug by saying “im sorry im a whole fucking mess.” hongjoong playfully hit you by stating “okay don’t say that your not a mess, nobody in this group is a mess, okay?” you nod at his words. “you need to just turn your phone off for a while and ignore the news, haters, etc.” san exclaims. you also nod to his words. “thank you guys.” you whispered. “now let’s topic change and go with our managers for some kimchi and tteokbokki!” mingi blurted out breaking the small silence. you smile and go along with them into the car. you rest your head on seonghwa’s shoulder holding him and him holding you. “its okay. we’ve got you.” he mumbled kissing your cheek in a friendly way.
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jules-has-notes · 1 year ago
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The Chicken Song — VoicePlay live performances
For this post, I want to let you do a bit of compare-and-contrast. Below are two performances of the same piece, two years apart. As with a lot of VoicePlay's more theatrical skit-songs, every iteration is a little different, and delightful in its own way. Especially in comedic numbers like this, "Elvira", and "Road Trip", where the guys are trying to make each other laugh almost as much as they're trying to entertain their audience.
Details:
title: The Chicken Song
original song / performers: American novelty song also known as "The Rooster" ; first two verses included in the New Christy Minstrels' "Bits and Pieces" medley (1962)
arranged by: VoicePlay
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This video was recorded during VoicePlay's concert at The O'Shaughnessy theater at St. Catherine University during the 2014 Arts Midwest conference in Minnesota.
performance date: 19 September 2014
My favorite bits:
Layne playfully admonishing the videographer while clucking
Eli's tokyo-drift skibble at the end of each chase
"Anybody wanna milk me?" ::delighted pointing at the audience response:: "Oh, okay!"
"Big guy." ::patpat::
::half-heartedly points at his raised hand:: "’T’s’muh branch."
Eli's smug grin at Geoff's reaction to him taking over, "And an awful lot of it."
Layne, Geoff, and Eli's startled smiles at one audience member's distinctive laughter
Tony repeatedly trying to refuse his assigned role, only to get annoyed when the others don't immediately back him up. "C'mon!" 😠
"I don't think we have that."
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Trivia:
Tony's improvised dialog, "Hey, my name is Maggie. Welcome to Matt's," is a reference to Matt's Bar in Minneapolis, where the guys had been very excited to go for a lunch of "juicy lucy" burgers before the show.
Since they were in Home Free's neck of the woods for the conference, the guys had a chance to catch up with Rob Lundquist and Tim Foust.
Tim live-tweeted the show in his typical wry fashion, including some arboreal appreciation for his fellow bass singer.
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This performance was part of a benefit concert for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids Foundation hosted by the Alpha Epsilon Phi fraternity at Stanford University. Tony got stuck in Florida because of Hurricane Matthew, so their old friend Paul from Vox Audio agreed to pinch hit. Which made it even more chaotic than usual.
performance date: 7 October 2016
My favorite bits:
Layne shaking his tail feathers
Eli and Layne's little finger wiggle high-five
Earl and Layne cracking each other up with livestock jokes, then everyone giggling even more when Geoff calls them out on it
Eli laughing so hard he has to take a knee
::elbow bump::
Geoff asking the audience, "D'you guys know what Chiclets are?" only for Earl to immediately pull one out of his pocket
Paul accidentally skipping the second refusal gag and grumbling about not getting paid enough
::wolf whistle:: "Shaddup."
Eli doing his darnedest not to laugh at Paul's waitress antics, to the point of angling himself away from the rest of the group
Paul's incredible scream
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Trivia:
The "California cow" / "happy cow" / "best cheese" banter was referencing a series of ads from the California Milk Advisory Board that aired in the early 2000s.
The Chiclets gum question was asked at least in part because that brand had recently been discontinued.
Young lads Layne, Earl, Geoff, and James May recorded a live audio version (without the waitress verse) for 4:2:Five's album "Time Machine" way back in 2004.
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ctrl-alt-vibeshift · 11 months ago
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i will die for my country twitter
i've traveled through many different social media lands in my time on the internet, and my netizenship has lasted almost as long as my citizenship offline. i got an instagram account behind my parent's back in the early days before it was purchased by facebook, i lived through the rise and fall of vine in middle school, and witnessed tiktok subsume musical.ly in high school. none of these changes in power, re-drawing of borders, annexations, or flag design overhauls have hit me as hard as the recent twitter coup.
as someone who often touts that i was raised on stan twitter, i haven't been dealing with the rebranding of twitter very well. i've been stuck in the first stage of grief (denial) ever since he-who-musk-not-be-named first announced that xtraordinarly terrible new name and logo. twitter was where i found my place online, where i could meet and become online friends with people just as parasocially attached to my latest obsession as i was. i first joined for the norwegian teen drama SKAM, which i actually found out about here on tumblr. once the series wrapped i gradually shifted to devoting my page to troye sivan and connor franta, before a complete descent into the gloriously hellish world of k-pop stan twitter.
regardless of whose face my profile picture was, i always had twitter to turn to when my socializing needs couldn't be met in my little suburban town where i was always one of the few resident stans of [insert past obsession here]. it largely influenced how i interact with people to this day, both on and offline, as well as my sense of humor, my politics, my music taste, my way of speaking, my aesthetic sensibilities, my viewing habits, my identity, etc. while i've informally revoked my stantwittership since late 2020, i still actively use a "personal" account to tweet about whatever i feel like, although i often fall back into reacting to and commenting on the k-pop and other culture happenings i do still keep up with, and if you scroll through my profile quickly my account could be mistaken for a stan one.
twitter is where i've met many oomfs over the years, some I still keep in touch with solely online, others have transitioned into oomirls. it's been somewhat of a home to me, at least to the digital persona that embodied everything i couldn't in my real one. it still had that feeling after that musky fellow initially took over, although some of my more impassioned countrymen immediately cut all ties with the platform, becoming refugees harbored by other social networks and encouraging others to jump ship with them in foreboding final tweets. nevertheless i've persisted, disappointed but not surprised at the monetization of twitter blue and verification checkmarks, unaffected by the changes in moderation and community guidelines. it wasn't until july 2023, when the rebrand was first announced, that my faith in my homeland began to waver.
i've refused to update to that dreary new version of the site, with its grim and cheaply assembled app icon. i will hold onto my little blue bird as long as i can, even if it means being shot out of the sky with it. i've turned off auto updates and have hastily canceled the download on the few occasions where i've accidentally tapped "update" on it while installing others. fortunately, the app still functions for me without issue, although subtle changes have implemented themselves regardless, like my notifications tab now reading "[user] liked your post" instead of "tweet." recently, i've been unable to look at quote tweets on tweets, but can still view individual ones in my feed. i'll continue living like this until the app is rendered functionless without updating, a day i pray never comes.
i wince in pain every time i see "X" written in place of twitter now, although i'm slightly relieved that it is typically followed by "formerly known as twitter" in parentheses. i can't imagine calling stan twitter "stan X," such a moniker sounds like telling someone to literally stan an artist or piece of media called "X," like exclaiming "stan LOONA!!" saying "i'm an X user" or "are you on X?" sounds like banter about the latest designer drug (or perhaps a colloquial shortening of ecstasy?) but let me stop myself before i write another essay solely about the preposterousness of using the 24th letter of the alphabet as your brand name.
i don't know what the future holds for twitter, and with each passing day i hold my breath when i tap my blue app icon with white bird graphic, a quickly disappearing relic of tweets past. i now feel like i'm the member of a stateless nation, joining the likes of the kurds and their longing for a kurdistan. while my flag no longer flies, i remain a reluctant patriot, holding fast on stolen land. you'll have to force me off my lot before i rise for the pledge of xllegiance.
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cyarskaren52 · 11 months ago
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CREDIT:Noah Schutz
Jack Harlow Knew This Was Coming
Well, sort of. But now he’s got a smash hit, a new album featuring Adam Levine, and he may have accidentally altered the course of NBA history 
Written By Khari NixonJanuary 27 2021, 10:00 AM ET
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DJ Drama was in no rush to return from his lunch break.
Sandwiched between the outskirts of Atlanta’s Bankhead neighborhood and the sprawling campus of Georgia Tech University is Means Street Studios. This hub of hip hop recording has played host to a litany of stars since its 2013 inception. Playboi Carti, Gucci Mane, Lil Uzi Vert and the late Nipsey Hussle are just some of the artists who’ve graced its halls.
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However, on this day in November 2017, the Means Street corridors were not especially glamorous. Atlantic Records had selected the studio complex to host its quarterly A&R conference in which DJ Drama, legendary mixtape arbiter and co-founder of Atlantic’s Generation Now imprint (Lil Uzi Vert, Killuminati), played a significant role.
Overnight success stories often begin at conferences like this one, long before viral TikTok challenges and feature placements on streaming services come into play. It can sometimes take years for an artist to build enough trust with a label to earn a star-turning album or single rollout. Drama knows a thing or two about this waiting game. It was his seminal free mixtape series, Gangsta Grillz, that helped rappers circumvent this indefinite layover and maintain relevance during the 2000s.
“I was just kind of, you know, taking my time to get back,” he admits over a Zoom call, reminiscing. He was, after all, DJ Drama. He was far past the stage where he needed to outhustle fellow A&Rs and executives. New music needed to hustle its way to him.
Still, as 2014 signee Lil Uzi Vert inched closer to international superstardom, Generation Now was in the market for a second star. When Drama finally returned from his break, something extraordinary happened.
“Right as I walked in just a little bit late, ‘Dark Knight’ was on. They were playing ‘Dark Knight’ in the meeting.”
A few months prior to Atlantic’s A&R summit descending upon Means Street, during the waning days of summer 2017, DJ Drama sat in a room at the studios beside his fellow Generation Now execs: Don Cannon, a similarly legendary mixtape DJ, and their partner Leighton “Lake” Morrison. Meeting with them were KY, a renowned engineer from Louisville, and a lanky, curly-haired white boy, also from Louisville, whose brand of brash-yet-self-conscious raps had built a fanbase whose support had him teetering on the brink of vested major label interest. This was Jack Harlow, Drama was told.
He knew who the 19-year-old rapper was. Drama’s friend and colleague Randy had hipped him to Jack’s Instagram page several months prior. Intrigued, Drama followed it and listened to a handful of the young rapper’s songs. The night before the formal introduction at Means Street, Jack had been thrust into a studio session by this same friend, Randy, to record with Generation Now’s inaugural signee, veteran rapper Skeme.
Harlow has endeared himself to a wide array of musicians in a short timeCREDIT: Noah Schutz
“The way Randy talked about it,” Drama recalls, “He was like, ‘I just wanted to see if [Harlow] had his chops. ‘Cause, you know. Skeme ain’t no hoe.’”
However, despite Harlow’s passing grades at his session with Skeme, Drama and company weren’t ready to set anything in stone. “It wasn’t final,” he says as he remembers how the meeting with KY and Jack concluded. “I don’t know, it was like everybody wasn’t sold.”
In the aftermath of the inconclusive meeting, Harlow, sensing Generation Now’s hesitation, returned to Louisville and got right back to work. He would be releasing Gazebo, his fourth and breakout self-released project, the third week of November 2017, and he needed to fire a warning shot. One that both his fanbase and GN would heed. That materialized as “Dark Knight,” a bruising ramble introducing listeners to a reenergized Harlow, who did not appear to be reeling from the effects of leaving Atlanta without a deal.
“Know this shit boom when we came down south and I had to bring my own lil’ Metro,” Harlow rapped, likening a member of his crew to Metro Boomin, the multi-platinum Atlanta-based producer. The song ends on an even more confident note. “Funny how it all works out / Right before this I was feeling burnt out / Now the whole city ‘bout to get burned down.”
Harlow wasn’t quite peeved, but there was a specific edge to his delivery. The chip on his shoulder was just big enough. “Dark Knight” made exactly as much noise as Harlow hoped it would. Because of it, he quickly outgrew DJ Drama’s circle. Label offers were imminent, regardless of whether Generation Now was interested. Harlow knew this. So did Drama.
Thus, when the DJ returned from his lunch break that day at Means Street to hear “Dark Knight” blaring from studio speakers, he knew immediately he had a decision to make. On his own accord, Harlow had quickly gotten better, sharper and grown more polished. So much so that Atlantic would surely be preparing to take its own chance on him by meeting’s end, leaving Generation Now out of the picture.
“Oh! That’s just Jack,” he hastily announced to the room. “I’m already on that. We got that, you can tuck that,” he remembers saying. The room quickly moved to the next order of business. If DJ Drama was on that, the conversation was over.
Truthfully, neither Drama nor his partners were actually on that. But that would soon change. “I went to text Cannon to tell him they played ‘Dark Knight’ in the meeting,” Drama says, as he cracks a wistful smile.
“It forced our hand in a way, thankfully.”
Jack Harlow photographed in Los Angeles, January 2021CREDIT: Noah Schutz
It’s a Friday night in January 2021, and Jack Harlow is seated in complete darkness. The COVID-19 pandemic will soon be a year old, so instead of doing something like eating tacos and playing H-O-R-S-E—which, I’ve decided, would have been my suggested activity for this interview in a safer world—I’m staring at a Zoom screen as Harlow, whose camera is switched off, describes his current setting. I’m not allowed to see it. “I’m sitting in the dark right now, you don’t want to see me in this mood right now,” he warns. For a moment, it sounds like a very vulnerable-rapper way of saying I was in the zone right before this. My next question is, “What are you doing, writing?” His deadpan reply: “No, I’m doing an interview.”
It is exactly this type of shrewd and subtle wit that allowed Jack Harlow to become Jack Harlow.
Born in March 1998 to the proprietors of a family-run sign business in Louisville, Kentucky, Harlow’s narrative isn’t the most compelling. Unlike many of his peers, he didn’t have to escape extreme poverty or take penitentiary chances in order to provide. He’s not from a city that regularly produces rap stars, and despite his obvious skill level, it would be fair to mistake him for a math tutor. His free time would often consist of riding around with friends in search of adventure, hoping to catch a cute girl’s attention along the way. As exhausted of a character trope as this is, young Jack Harlow was very much just a regular kid. His writing ability is what made him irregular. It also gives him a puncher’s chance at becoming the preeminent star of his generation.
In the 2020s, as microwave TikTok fame continues to prove reliable as a launching pad to Billboard success, emphasis on range and craft in the mainstream will continue to dwindle across the board. In hip hop specifically, descendants of 808’s & Heartbreak-era Kanye West have spent much of the last 15 years redefining how much traditional rapping is necessary to be successful in the genre. These dynamics don’t interest Harlow as much as they could. His duty is to his wordplay, and the techniques he employs to keep listeners on their toes. Sometimes it’s a stretch of alliteration that he’s able to effortlessly maintain. Other times, he’ll thumb his nose so nonchalantly you’ll forget that it’s slick talk. “The ones that hate me the most look just like me. You tell me what that means,” he raps on the 2020 single, “Tyler Herro.”
Jack Harlow is ready to rollCREDIT: Noah Schutz
In present-day hip hop, recognition is less contingent on lyrical ability than it ever has been. Despite scattered worlds that continue to place the technical art of rapping on a pedestal—the J. Cole-led Dreamville imprint and Westside Gunn’s Griselda immediately come to mind—being a Good Rapper has long taken a backseat to marketability. This transition has created somewhat of a perfect storm for an artist like Harlow, who isn’t going to blow you away with metaphors or dizzying flow switches. But his unassuming charisma, coupled with a sturdy pen and the attention to detail to execute a line like, “Been tryna pop, now I’m on like Shumpert,” provides for a lane that he can dominate.
“You know, for some odd reason, it’s been what I’ve wanted to do for so long that I can’t even pinpoint what it felt like to not want to do this,” Harlow says. “Like, sometimes I wonder, ‘What was it like to be a purposeless child that was simply enjoying life?” His mother, a hip-hop fan, would soundtrack the household with Jay-Z, OutKast and Black Eyed Peas. Perhaps unbeknownst to mom, her young son was taking meticulous notes. He wasn’t just enthralled, he was inspired. “What’s Poppin’” was an eventual outcome, but an inevitable one.
Harlow’s biggest hit song to date (and of 2020), “What’s Poppin’” materialized in the way that an innumerable amount of hit songs have come together. Hotshot producer slides into hotshot rapper’s DMs with hopes that they can form a mutually beneficial partnership. This particular exchange made perfect sense. JetsonMade, the Roc Nation-managed producer behind DaBaby’s breakout hit, “Suge,” was looking to diversify his portfolio. And Harlow was in album mode.
“I heard those piano keys, and I was just taken,” Harlow recalls. After a weeks-long back-and-forth with Jetson while touring in 2019, Jack had finally carved out time to get into the studio with the in-demand producer. On day two, Harlow heard the sound that changed his career. “I think I probably reacted how a lot of people reacted when they heard that beat. It’s fucking hard.”
Incidentally, it wasn’t even the featured beat of the night. In a recent interview with Genius, Jetson and Pooh Beatz, a producer Jet often partners with (“Told Pooh he a fool with this shit”), recall the night they flipped through instrumentals, looking for something for Harlow to “pop his shit” over. “You’ve got to give the artist room to be creative as well,” Pooh said. “So I’m always listening for that simplest piece.” 
That beat, accentuated with that bouncing, accelerated piano loop, gave Harlow more than enough room to be selective with his approach. “I said to myself, ‘Jack, don’t think too hard. Don’t bear down on this beat and smother it. You know, don’t try to go crazy on it. Just have fun with it.’ So that’s what I did. I said the first thing that came to mind.”
What’s poppin? Brand new whip, just hopped in I got options, I could pass that bitch like Stockton
Then,
Just joshing, I’ma spend this holiday locked in
Seriously? “Just joshing?” I had to ask.
“That was a line I’d always planned on replacing,” Harlow admits as he chuckles. Given the opportunity to address the subtle audacity of this cheesy-but-effective line, he perks up. “I was always going to get rid of it. It was a placeholder. It was literally just something that rhymes with the other shit.”
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By the time he’d completed the song, it was far too late for replacements. For just over two minutes, on “What’s Poppin,” Harlow’s subdued-but-sharp flow darts in and out of the accelerated piano loop, buoying the dancing bassline Jetson and Pooh concocted. The beat doesn’t rush Harlow, and in turn, he doesn’t stifle it. After wrapping his sessions with Jetson, he played the song for confidantes on his team and friends back home in Louisville. Their response was the confirmation Jack needed. “What’s Poppin’” was the one. “I really treasure that moment because I use it as a lesson now when I’m trying to write,” he says. “I’m just like ‘go, go, go’ because look at the success that song is giving me when I just let go. It’s a lesson, you know, you just gotta let go and…” Harlow trails off briefly, perhaps rummaging through his brain for the word that will summarize this lesson. Seconds later, he finds it.
“Be instinctual.”
Shortly after its January 2020 release, “What’s Poppin’” was added to Spotify’s Rap Caviar playlist, the leading gatekeeper in the hip hop playlisting world. Securing a placement on a playlist like Rap Caviar in the streaming era is akin to being named a member of XXL magazine’s “Freshman Class” during the early 2010s blog era. It won’t guarantee a successful career, but you’d be hard-pressed to find a more effective springboard into the national conscience. Once “What’s Poppin’” hit Rap Caviar, it never looked back.
The song and its remix, which features DaBaby, Lil Wayne and Tory Lanez, have now been streamed over 700 million times on Spotify. Consequently, Harlow is a millionaire and Grammy nominee at 22. In case that was unclear, he announces it just 10 seconds into his debut studio album, That’s What They All Say, released in December, on the album’s intro, “Rendezvous.” The album, which features Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, Lil Wayne, Lil Baby, and an appearance from the late R&B legend Static Major, is his biggest flex yet. The world had just learned his name, and already he was getting A-list stars out of bed for a set of tracks so versatile, comparisons to Drake are unavoidable.
“You know, it’s funny because, I remember my dad said to me he was proud of me because, you know, his dad was broke on a farm and grew up incredibly impoverished. Then my dad grew up a little better than him. And now, I’m a millionaire,” Harlow says, unable to disguise his pensive tone. “And he just wanted to point that out to me. It’s a huge step. I mean, I know that seems obvious for me, but it’s a huge step for him. I never met his dad—rest in peace—but if he could see the success, shit would be a whole ‘nother world to him. So it’s just nice to put it in perspective. You know, that’s the one thing I’ve been really careful about doing.”
Jack Harlow's trajectory continues to trend upCREDIT: Noah Schutz
The way Harlow ended his thought, it felt like a cautionary tale was coming. My hunch was pure. “Sometimes I think all these millionaires and artists get so wrapped up in entering the world and becoming friends with all the other millionaires when they get to L.A.,” he starts, “They get wrapped up in the world and it does become normalized. And they think to themselves, ‘Well, then, I have room to be depressed. Everyone around me is a millionaire and I’ll find something to be unhappy about.’”
Don’t let the depths of Harlow’s self-awareness disarm you; he knows he’s the guy right now. He always has. His account of the events surrounding his initial meeting with Generation Now at Means Street mirrors DJ Drama’s. Jack just sprinkles a little ego in, like parsley. “Drama was fucking with me, but he took a second. The label took a second. And I remember I ended up having to drop “Dark Knight.” I said, ‘I’ma just drop it.’ And that really got the buzz going. Labels started, people were interested. And I was like ‘O-K, yeah, yeah, no, I got it.’”
“So you sort of had to trigger your own bidding war,” I ask. He agrees. “Yeah, exactly. And they were on it quick.”
He's laid back and ready for a big 2021CREDIT: Noah Schutz
This Cinderella ascent has not come without setbacks, however. With fame comes heightened visibility, which can trip up even the most vigilant of stars. The NBA’s announcement that it would resume play following its March COVID-19 stoppage came with a strict set of safety guidelines. Players were prohibited from leaving the Disneyland campus that hosted the remainder of the season, fondly known as “The Bubble,” unless they had explicit permission from league authorities. Even so, they were still encouraged to stay clear of high-risk areas, like densely populated public venues.
Strip clubs—I’m guessing—would probably qualify as high-risk during a pandemic. That’s where Harlow was when he snapped a selfie with Los Angeles Clippers guard Lou Williams less than a week after the league had resumed play. They each wore masks, but Williams had been granted permission to leave The Bubble so he could attend a relative’s funeral, not pop up on a rapper’s Instagram Story while at the strip club. Lou Will maintains that he was simply picking up chicken wings when Harlow snapped the selfie, and not ripping wrappers off packs of singles. The NBA, however, would hear none of it and forced Williams into a 10-day quarantine. He missed the first two games of his teams’ restart, the Clippers never redeveloped their chemistry, and they were eliminated from the playoffs so quickly, their season became fodder for a Freddie Gibbs chorus several weeks later. “Hoes get fucked and sent home early, just like the Clippers.”
Naturally, no one blames Harlow for this. Not even Lou Will. “[Lou] called me like, ‘Don’t even fucking trip. I’m Lou. I don’t get in trouble.’ I was like well shit, you just gave me the pass to relax,” Harlow reveals as he fights back laughter. Still, one can’t help but wonder how things might have turned out if the restart to the Clippers’ season was less turbulent. After they were eliminated, the team fired its coach, retooled most of its roster, and saw its star player, Paul George, spend the entire summer soul searching. What a sequence of events.
There is also the matter of the aforementioned remix to “What’s Poppin,” one of the most successful remixes in recent hip hop memory. Just a few weeks after the song was released, Lanez was accused of shooting Houston hip hop star Megan Thee Stallion in her feet following a party in Los Angeles. With increased social attention to misogynoir and violence against women as the wind in their sails, scores of Twitter users “canceled” Lanez and began lobbying for industry figures to blacklist him and his music. Harlow, stunned at the news, didn’t know how to react. The very mention of it makes him uncomfortable. I asked him what his initial reaction was.
“It’s crazy,” he says. “The news broke right after we dropped the video. I was like, ‘I wonder how this is going to go.’ I was curious, I was shocked, I was just like, damn.” He would comment no further.
Don't mess with Jack HarlowCREDIT: Noah Schutz
Eventually, Harlow’s whiteness had to be addressed. He knew it, and I knew it. In listening to his music over the years, I’d observed how many of my Black friends and colleagues were accepting of him in a way that they weren’t accepting of other white rappers. It’s comforting to have a white rapper just be a white rapper, and not cosplay their Black peers with guerilla music videos and disingenuous displays of gunplay and drug use. Maybe too comforting. Last year, Harlow trended on Twitter because the platform had somehow just discovered his race. He poked fun at the confusion on Instagram, posting a screenshot of his discography, which features his very white face on every cover art. “I did everything I could do to show y’all I am white,” he wrote.
Harlow expresses an understanding of what it means to be a privileged outsider. When Breonna Taylor was unjustly murdered at the hands of Louisville police last March, Harlow hit the streets as marches and protests swept the nation. “People have asked me, as if there was a strategy involved, ‘What made you do it?’ I grew up with Black people, and the empathy I have for them is ingrained in me. It’s not something that arrived this past summer, but I was charged up by the movement. It happened where I’m from and there’s a responsibility that comes with that.”
One of the earliest memories critics will have of Harlow is his visit to Sway Calloway’s Sway In The Morning show on SiriusXM. In the footage, Harlow, wearing a brown Ecko Unlimited long-sleeve T-shirt, is even more baby-faced than he is now. Sitting next to the much stockier DJ Drama, it almost looks as if Drama is the talent and Harlow is the management. He’s quiet and fidgety, slightly deer-in-headlights, and doesn’t look much like the guy who “forced” the hand of a legend.
I remind Harlow of this moment and ask him to consider everything that’s happened since. What will his legacy be?
“I want to be someone that’s true to myself, and someone that’s wholly original to the game.” He says that he’s been that person in spurts and that his goal is to intentionally chase that for the rest of time. “The beauty of making art and music is, ideally that’s what should live forever. That’s what gives me purpose. I think that’s what we’re all looking for. Mortality is in the back of all of our heads, and I found the thing that makes it bearable.”
I ask him, “Does that scare you? The thought of dying before you reach your full potential?”
“Oh yes. So much so, I don’t even want to talk about it.”
Jack Harlow is styled by Metta Conchetta.
Khari Nixon
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valley-of-the-lost · 2 years ago
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I would’ve posted this on twitter but I can’t fit all my thoughts in a tweet and honestly fuck making a thread.
Translated character bios are from @be-bi-do-crime​ on their twitter, also under a cut for novel spoilers sake.
Speculation for drama plot under the cut, here we go.
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Tian Yao doesn’t sound that much different from his novel counterpart. This is pretty much how he is/what happens to him in the novel, and his motivations appear largely the same.
I do love that they point out he’s manipulative because my god he is. When you’re reading the novel you don’t realize just how manipulative he is until the reveal that Yan Hui also has his neidan and he nudged her towards practicing demonic cultivation to nurture it for when he was (initially) planning to take it back.
“Captain of the wife protection team” lmaooo hell yeah he is, Mr. “I already have all my body parts” (novel readers will understand that reference god bless).
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Okay so some of the foundations for Yan Hui’s character are intact. She’s still a (former) xian cultivator, she was born with heart problems hence Tian Yao’s Heart Protection scale and neidan saving her life, she was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain, and she’s money and food oriented.
Though it’s here where we’re starting to see major diversions.
“Because [Yan Hui] accidentally blew up the sealed demon tower and was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain...” --> implies this is now the reason in the drama that she was expelled from her sect. In the novel it was because she released fox demons and attacked a fellow cultivator, Ling Fei.
Without additional context, this concerns me. I was already a bit concerned because I didn’t see anyone cast for Ling Fei on MDL, but it seems she might’ve been written out entirely and I’m not sure how exactly they’re going to compensate for her absence.
Because the role Ling Fei occupies in the novel is not an insignificant one. She’s Yan Hui’s main personal antagonist, driving Yan Hui to sympathize with the plight of the demons more and even being the reason for why Yan Hui was expelled from Chen Xing Mountain in the first place. Her actions are what push Yan Hui over the edge to start practicing demonic cultivation, so Ling Fei drives quite a bit of Yan Hui’s arc.
The way it’s phrased here, that Yan Hui instead accidentally blew up a sealed demon tower as opposed to willingly released demons from prison, does sort of diminish her agency in the events leading up to her banishment. I’m willing to see if either this is just an iteration of how it happened in the novel or, if it is changed, how they compensate for it.
It’s interesting that the character blurb puts so much emphasis that Yan Hui was the one who fell for Tian Yao first, though I can’t tell if its trying to say she fell in love or lust with him, or both. The latter is somewhat true in the novel, because she did find him physically attractive, but Yan Hui didn’t start cultivating butterflies in her heart at the sight of Tian Yao under she got hit with the fox blood charm fragrance. Which makes me wonder if they’re going to amp up her physical attraction to him for the first arc.
I don’t know if her apparently being “brainwashed” into practicing demonic cultivation is referring to Yan Hui being literally brainwashed by some other third party or it’s referring to how Tian Yao manipulated her towards it to nurture his neidan and prepare it for when he’d take it back.
Now, what REALLY makes me raise an eyebrow is the last sentence. Demon king Fu Yin? Is he our big bad, replacing Zhenren Qing Guang? If so, I’m curious to see how he’s tied into the romantic struggle for the main leads... and also if he’s just reskinned Qing Guang.
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“...ancient and weird” wow attacking my girl right out of the gate huh 💀💀.
So immediately Huan Xiaoyan is more fleshed out than her novel counterpart and seems to have more of her own storyline than just being Yan Hui’s adopted daughter and helper.
Since her home has changed from the river that was being used to cleanse Yan Hui’s cultivation to a foggy forest, I have to wonder what Yan Hui and Tian Yao were doing in the forest in the first place.
Her clan is still basically all dead, but it seems that when Yan Hui and Tian Yao meet her has been moved to before the Qingqiu arc as opposed to during. Her romance with Zhuli is intact too though I hope they get more development as a couple.
My big question is WHO IS “THE PUPIL MASTER???” Is it Fu Yin??? Su Ying?? Qing Guang hiding somewhere??? The king of Qingqiu’s late wife??? Some antagonist we haven’t seen yet??? WHO IS IT??? WHO ARE YOU!!!
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Okay, okay, Bai Xiaosheng’s character blurb is a whole can of worms.
It appears he is occupying the role of second male lead, and he’s tied up in this whole Fu Yin business the drama is introducing.
So Fu Yin is looking for some kind of unspecified treasure... does this mean the main storyline is no longer just getting Tian Yao’s body parts back? Why does this treasure need a pair of “fated people” to find it?
This also implies that either the entire or major parts of the Qingqiu arc have changed, as well as Yan Hui and Tian Yao’s motivations for going to Qingqiu. It also makes me further suspect that the reason why Yan Hui was banned from her sect was changed because the whole point of her releasing the fox demons was for her to have an early rapport with Zhuli, who gets the main couple to Qingqiu, and Bai Xiaolu, who no longer seems to exist.
That Bai Xiaosheng can apparently hide in Yan Hui’s shadow to protect her is reminiscent of novel Huan Xiaoyan’s ability to hide in Yan Hui’s ring.
Also oh dear. It seems Tian Yao will betray Yan Hui??? By taking the Heart Protection scale from her early???????
?????
It increasingly seems that Fu Yin is indeed the Big Bad of the drama considering how many times its been said that the main couple is resisting him.
I... honestly don’t know if they’re going to keep the discrimination against the demons conflict that drove a lot of plot points in the novel. It seems like they’ve stripped or changed a lot of events that were initially driven by the tension between the xian cultivators and the demons.
And I’m honestly at a loss as to why.
I’m not really mad, just confused, because with the (admittedly little) info we have so far I just can’t fathom why these changes are what they are. Some I can intuit, like having a second male lead because its basically a romance drama staple. Others... not really, like the removal of the xian-demon conflict underpinnings, especially when it seems in line with what a lot of xianxia dramas do, with one side being slandered and discriminated against by what would be perceived as the more stereotypically righteous group.
I’m still more than willing to let the drama play itself out first so I at least know the full context of what these changes are though, if anything it did feed my curiosity to see what is done with these new/reshuffled plot points.
Here’s to hoping it drops in May finally and has a banger opening song!
Again, in case you forgot, credit to @be-bi-do-crime​ for these blurb translations and for furthering the Tianhui agenda!
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scoops404 · 16 days ago
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ooo maybe longer fics?
In regards to this ask!
"i would love to hear more about your brainstorming process for creating a new fic / how you come up with so many great ideas and how that’s brought to life!"
Answer under cut:
Longer fics come about in several different ways, and usually the spark of the idea changes immensely from what I thought it was going to be versus what the final "product" ends up being. It very much helps the "fear of the blank page" if you accept upfront that the end product isn't going to be what you daydreamed about. I've learned that lesson. (AKA accept that you need to learn to love the journey more than the destination sometimes)
As far as what makes my brain go brrrrr that's gonna be a fic, it's different things. A big factor is if it's different and innovative or just strange enough that I feel like it hasn't been done *my way* before. I don't want to tell the same story someone else has already told. It's also a lot of time and energy to put into something, it needs to be able to hold me captive, let alone my interest. Hits Different is the best example of this -- i don't know what crack i was on but suddenly i had 100K+ written in like 2 months. That's insane for me. I had 8K writing days and 10K+ writing days. That's so so rare for me. And mind you, I did this with a 40 hours a week daytime job. I don't even remember the spark of the idea for Hits Different except that their parents got married and then they wound up in the same dorm room -- all the other stuff came after that.
I jsut went back to look for any tweets about HD:
Aug 13, 2023: "So you know how I can't write anything normal? What if I told you I just wrote 2k of college au step-brothers/ enemies-to-lovers with football player Dream. Would anyone want that? They're currently discussing safewords to fight each other"
Oh, so I guess it started as a college AU and Dream was a football player before the other stuff got added. This is before the weird BDSM part got introduced lol.
For Anagnorisis, the spark was "what if George was pregnant and didn't know it until he was in labor?" aka I didn't know i was pregnant AU -> which morphed into thinking, okay, why wouldn't he know? What would cause the most drama about that? and them sleeping together but not *being* together was the answer lol. I kinda live blogged the beginning thought process for that fic, including the first scene i wrote.
For Just One Touch, it started as the f/m/m to m/m DNF threesome fic because I love Midas Touch (RIP) so much and wanted to explore that dynamic myself. And then it was going to be VERY internalized homophobic based at the end and Alison wrangled me and it turned more demi-sexual exploration of George trying to figure out himself out. I wanted FWB and this is as close as I could get tbh haha.
For Shine Here To Us, it was a fic event in a discord where we spun a wheel with tropes we'd like to try and tropes we've done before and loved and mpreg and hurt/comfort were my results (shockingly the mpreg was the trope I hadn't tried up to that point). I always had an idea of two people in the spotlight having a baby together for convenience and then it turning into more so that was the impetus for this fic. I just couldn't imagine Dream stating he wants to have a child and George not trying to bend over backwards to be the one to give that to him (but, you know, in a cool way where he doesn't look lame)
For Curse and Cure of the Internet, I had the idea of Dream as a fic writer accidentally writing fic about himself and George. I wrote like 5K of it and then put it aside because I figured it was too out there and people wouldn't really relate like other fic writers would -- but then I mentioned it to someone on twitter and then everyone dogpiled saying they want to see that and so i fleshed it out. It became obvious very early on that the universe needed OCs of fans for Dream to befriend and then I had a very fun time making them as different as possible from each other, but still Dream fans. And that fic was my love letter to fandom friends and fanfiction writing (before some of the disillusionment set in so im glad i got it out there then!). People still to this day ask about Right Hand Man, the fictional fic that Dream writes in this universe and that makes me so happy.
For Deep in the Dream of a Game, I was coming off of writing Curse and Cure and wanted to write something completely different. Jase (birbwatcher) was writing an MCC fic set with realistic virtual reality and that fic had an amazing start (it's unfinished, sadly) and it reminded me of "Check Chat," one of the fics where the players are transported into the game. I remember loving that concept and thinking it was perfect for what it was but i wanted more romance to it and i wanted to see more of them having to build a society and not so much about the killing the dragon part. And the idea could have faded back out, but then I wondered what would happen if they killed the dragon and it didn't work. What would they do then? How would they cope? Then I just had to write it
I've Never Fallen From Quite This High started as the idea of George's mom coming to Florida and announcing her divorce from George's father. i had an IRL friend's parents get divorced while she's an adult and listening to her talk about how weird it was sparked something in my brain. It's not ilke you'll have two bedrooms and split custody as a 26 year old, but it's still weird to see them separated. And that combined with Dream being able to befriend anybody made the idea grow legs. I wrote it off and on and then the scene with dream and kate at the diner and how funny their banter was convinced me to write the rest of it and see it through. This one also had the idea that George just feels too much and he's scared of it sometimes. I still see elements of that in him.
You guys kinda saw the beginning of "I Am Two Fools" as well -- Dizzy handed me some prompts and then my mind got away from me and i knew it wouldn't be a quick fic for me. The hard part of planning and plotting for this one was from the twist of changing POV from Dream in the first half to George in the second half. Once I figured out i needed to do that, everything kinda fell into place.
I suppose the moment a fic changes over from an idea to something i'm determined to write is like the first time i write a scene for it. if it feels right and interesting and i'm excited about it, then i'll just keep going. Talking about it with my friends and here on my blog helps a lot too. It's amazing what other people's excitement for your thing does to your own enthusiasm.
This is already so fucking long, but i'd love to talk about shorter fics too at some point because a lot of those pack a punch of world building. Circling back, the mushroom king and the nightmare, florida man dub. Fun stuff!! Thanks for the ask. let me know if there's something more specific you were looking for
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jodilin65 · 1 year ago
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FRIDAY, JUNE 30, 2023 I was up for-fucking-ever yesterday which is the price I have to pay for having more energy. So today I’m really tired as the long days have caught up to me and I slept shitty the last time around. No matter what your thyroid is like, if you keep staying up a long time and don’t sleep well, you’re gonna be tired. So I’m not going to be doing as much as I’d like to tonight. I wanted to get back to painting, but I’m just too tired. I just reached my daily work quota, ran the dishes, played with a rat, and now I’m taking it easy for the rest of the night. I don’t even know if I’m going to hit the road.
I swear it’s like something wants me tired and because there aren’t as many outside sources here to wake me up with, it’s using my own damn body. When it saw I was getting more energy from extending my waiting time after meds, it made up for it by having me up too long, knowing that would eventually tire me out. I love storms but it’s times like this that I’m glad it’s pretty dry here. I should be able to catch up before the next wave of storms hits.
THURSDAY, JUNE 29, 2023 Tom turned 66 yesterday!
It hit me that the only reason I may have seen my private tweets on my blog was because I was logged into the account. Sometime I’ll log out and see if they still show up.
Tinkerbella is running around the bedroom while I write. I don’t know if Tom didn’t watch the door properly or if she accidentally bumped the latch but she got loose earlier. As soon as she got out, she came looking for me in the bedroom which I was in at the time. Lol.
Going to be having some things coming from both Walmart and Temu. I’m getting a new plush mattress pad. This one is a couple of years old, and they do go flat and get knots in them after a while as the cotton in it settles.
Ordered some pink embroidery floss for beading. A little over a decade ago, when we were living in Auburn, I got a bracelet with beautiful shiny colorful mirrored beads. Over time, the elastic dried out and cracked so I’m going to restring them into a necklace.
Got another cookie sheet similar to my small one for when I’m baking two different things and want them to fit in the oven easier. Besides, the smaller tin cookie sheet is much easier to handle than the big bulky one with the rack.
I also found a small pink dustpan for Tink’s cage and a half-round low-profile mat for inside the door. This one should be similar to the one we have outdoors. It should fit in that area nicely, without my office chair getting stuck on it, or the robot vac, after he takes a heat gun to kill the adhesive holding down the old frayed mat.
The satin sheets have really pilled quite badly, but I still love the feel of satiny sheets, so I’m going to get a couple of sets on Temu even though they don’t last long. You can get a set for the same cost as just a fitted sheet on Amazon. I’m getting pale pink and rosy pink.
I’m also going to get a variety of eyeshadow sticks and glitter temperature-changing lipstick.
We talked about how cool it would be to have a drone and fly it in the field in back but it’s illegal in this state. Temu has these cheap little cameras that are battery-operated, and who says we couldn’t stick one on the end of a little kite? Even if that didn’t work out, they would still be fun to experiment with.
I made a couple of picture blogs. On my main account will be a blog with a random picture of us that I scheduled to post every year until 2090. Then just for kicks, I have one scheduled for 100 years from now, 250 years, 500 years, and 1000 years. Then I created a blog on my other account with pics of my different nail designs. I doubt humans will survive long enough to see them all, but I just thought it would be something interesting and fun to do.
TUESDAY, JUNE 27, 2023 Slept a little bit better but if the 10-cast is right, then I’m not gonna get much sleep after the 4th. We’ve got another wave of storms coming through and of course, my schedule will happen to be all wrong for it.
Andy sent me a “glamor” shot of him wearing his CPAP mask, LOL. His covers his mouth and nose. I just hope to hell I can get used to sleeping with something like that if I do need it. I have a little fatigue today, but it’s not horribly bad. My thyroid definitely has a hand in the fatigue as well. No doubt about it. Again, I was snoring loudly, too.
Ran out to Publix again because I forgot to get yogurt. We grabbed a few other things too.
Saw something weird on the way there. An armored truck with Indiana plates swerving about. They almost ran a red light, and then they didn’t go as soon as it turned green. Stolen or something? Well, if it was, the cop that went by on the cross street didn’t know it.
I was reading an article on medical gaslighting and how unfortunately common it is. One woman was telling her story about being bloated and feeling like something was wrong in her lower stomach. All her complaints to doctors were blamed on poor diet and “just being anxious.” Sound familiar? It sure does to me. Anyway, it turned out to be cancer.
Sometimes I wonder if I should stay connected to Doc A. For one, she wasn’t the greatest doctor. After all, she too wrote my side effects off as anxiety (although she did admit that some of it could be on menopause) and tried to deny that anxiety was even a side effect of levothyroxine.
Secondly, if I hadn’t been the one to figure out that my foot cramps were coming from the statins had there not been an Internet to look that up on, how much worse might it have gotten had I continued taking them with her telling me it was probably caused by something else?
Lastly, I never hear from her. The only time I ever did was when I asked her a question on one of her posts. She never comments or reacts to any of my stuff or replies to my messages. I get that she’s a very busy person, but why add me then?
On the other hand, there’s something gratifying about being connected to her, so I don’t want to let her go at this time.
I dreamed we moved into a fairly large house with two stories. I was gazing around the neighborhood from our place, which was on a corner. The houses were big but close-set. I could tell the next day was going to be a bulk pickup because people had tons of old furniture and appliances out.
After I was done checking out the area and hoping the garbage trucks wouldn’t wake me up the following day, I walked up this strange ramp to the upper floor and into a large window-like thing. The ramp was made of a strange mix of foam and canvas. I could feel it give a little under my weight and wondered how it could support Tom.
MONDAY, JUNE 26, 2023 I removed my Twitter feed from this blog because it was showing private tweets.
I’m a little tired today because I woke up too soon. Not too tired to go to Publix, though. I grabbed some fruits and veggies, and he got some ice cream.
Before that, he had his doctor’s appointment. The doctor was weird because he was sipping coffee during the appointment, coughing a lot, and didn’t even listen to his heart. Isn’t that supposed to be part of the standard check-up?
When Tom told him he has trouble walking outdoors because it’s hard for him to get used to the humidity, the doctor said there was only one thing in the world you don’t get used to and that’s being poor. LOL. I think the reason I don’t mind the humidity as much as most is because it’s what I grew up in. It’s the prolonged exposure to direct sunlight and heat that gets to me after a while.
He’ll have to go for blood work and a chest x-ray. If he qualifies, he will be put on the medication for pre-diabetes that is supposed to help with weight loss as well. The thing is, it’s not something he would take for life. They would likely pull him off of it if his numbers got low enough.
They also referred him to a dermatologist. They didn’t even have liquid nitrogen available there.
Then the poor guy sprung the bleeder from hell when he got home. He was rearranging the lanai in preparation for moving the treadmill out there so I could move the skier to where it was in the living room and have more space for games that require more than a stationary guardian. Then he can have his chair back too since the skier has been sitting right in front of it. He picked up the little wicker table they left here with the heavy seashells on it. One of them went crashing down onto his foot. I’m guessing it hit a vein. He bled all over the floor and needed a large band-aid. After we got him settled, I told him to look on the bright side…we’re going to get the money’s worth out of our carpet cleaner after all.
We’re trying out Meta+ for just a dollar this month. If we like it, then for $8 a month, we can get two free games a month. You don’t get to keep them if you cancel but if you restart your subscription, they’ll be available again. One of the games we got is based on an old game from 1995 and I’m not sure how the hell it works yet. The other game is called Pistol Whip, and it’s ok.
SUNDAY, JUNE 25, 2023 Ugh, over a week away until the 4th, and already the fireworks are starting. It still surprises me being in a small town with so many old people.
For the last couple of days, I’ve had more energy. Enough to go to the pool which was too crowded. The new addition doesn’t help. I guess that’s why they’re going to be building another pool. A couple of preteen kids were there, and while they were mostly civilized, there were just too many people to be able to swim up and down the pool comfortably.
So it’s looking like yes, the waiting time does have something to do with my energy levels. Before, I wasn’t quite sure. I may still have sleep apnea, though. This morning I was snoring so damn loud for some reason that I woke myself up even over the sound machine. As I said, if something up there doesn’t have outside sources to use to curse my sleep with, it uses my own damn body. Next time it will probably be a nightmare.
The question is how the hell to find the balance between good energy and normal numbers without anxiety and insomnia?
Interesting how a TSH of 32 doesn’t make me damn near comatose when I was first diagnosed in 2014 but now a TSH of 9 does. We definitely can’t handle things as well as we could when we were younger. It truly sends chills down my spine to think of having this disease back in October of 2000. If it took me over a month to get a lousy inhaler, I’d hate to think of how long it would have taken to get my thyroid med. They would have easily let me slip into a coma, or maybe even have a heart attack. There’s literally no way I could go that long without this medication. Not at this point. That six-month sentence would have been a death sentence. If not, I certainly would have ended up in the hospital. Of course, they would have gotten away with it too.
Do I think we’ll ever find the right balance in present times? No, I don’t. After all this time of hopelessly trying, I realize more and more that it’s just not meant to be. It’s like trying to make a tall person short or a gay person straight. Even with my hormones now settled down, I’m still super sensitive to this medication. The only difference between now and then is that it’s not as severe because I know what to do about it as soon as I start feeling symptoms.
I know some people would like it if I wrote on PB full-time, but the more time that goes by, the less I care for it. It’s so full of spam that sometimes the entire front page is taken over by it. A notice was posted about measures they plan to take to try to combat the problem but they’ve been talking about this for quite a while now. Blogger is my number one preferred platform for writing because it’s the most secure and should be around forever. I also like the versatility that comes with it. I’ll still check in on PB every now and then.
The rat has been so much fun. She’s got an endless amount of energy. She’s very playful and affectionate and loves exploring. She was really agitated and restless and from what we read, it suggests she was in heat which they’re in every 4 to 5 days but she’ll eventually get used to it. Tinkerbell wasn’t like this but by the time we got her, she was a little older.
Tom set up some things in her playpen for her to explore. She was having fun exploring all the interesting boxes he set up but as soon as I walked up to the pen, she ran over to be picked up. So cute!
I heard her squealing the other night and ran over to find she got her tail caught in part of the bars of the cage. Fortunately, that hasn’t happened again, but if it does, we’re going to have to get a different cage.
Looking at my DNA relatives on 23andMe got my cousins on my mind. So for the first time in about a decade, I looked in on my first cousins, Lori and Lisa. June has an account too but there wasn’t much to see.
Lori’s aged well and Lisa is a total shocker. How can one be big into their early 20s (when I last saw/talked to them) and then be anorexically thin later in life when most of us pack on the weight? Usually, if you grow up on the heavy side and stay that way into your 20s, that’s a sign that it’s in your nature to be that way. She was thin when I looked in on her a decade ago but when I say she’s thin, I mean really thin. Almost too thin. Her biceps are skinny little twigs and her clavicle bones show. Weight loss surgery? A disease? An eating disorder? My first thought was an eating disorder but this late in life? My next guess is weight loss surgery but could it be this effective for this long? If it was a disease, why isn’t there treatment for it? I would definitely like to know what her trick is, although as long as I’m low on thyroid, there isn’t much that’s going to help me.
Just for kicks, I slapped my blog link on Lori’s wall since she was the only one that allowed anyone to comment, then removed it after a couple of days. There was no response, and no blog visit (unless she’s a hider) but I’m not surprised. I think in her mind no reaction is worth not removing it or checking the link out. There’s always a possibility that she hasn’t been on Facebook over the weekend and doesn’t even know who the hell I am since she wouldn’t know my married name. Maybe she thought it was just spam. Either way, it doesn’t matter.
No hard feelings at this point but we’re virtual strangers. We’ve had no contact since the late 80s. Besides, if you can’t forgive someone for a few pranks and reaching out to them in a scary situation, then you’re no one I want to associate with. I mean, come on. This was over 30 years ago. But again, we're virtual strangers, so I can’t say what she thinks and what she feels and it doesn’t matter anyway. Sure, I’m sometimes curious by nature because I’m a naturally curious person but in the end, she’s a stranger as is the rest of her family. I did have my maiden name visible for quite some time and any number of people could have looked me up and reached out to me if they’d cared to. Also, if Lori or her sister had a problem with me, they could have come to me about it.
Part of her problem may have been connected to the inheritance we received from our grandparents - not that I had any control over that - and my hatred for her father who was such a mean bastard. Had I been then like I am now…
FRIDAY, JUNE 23, 2023 Got a reply to my weekly email from Kim in just a few hours, as usual. We have a game we play where we make up goofy titles and there’s always food in hers, not surprisingly, the little pig. I think she would literally eat herself to death if it was up to her. I don’t think she would realize the consequences or even care. Pretty sure her ultimate dream life would be to impersonate celebrities online and swoon over the attention it would bring while she stuffed the shit out of herself. I’m just surprised her family let her get over 300 lbs even if she eventually lost 100 of it. Again, this is someone with the mind of a five-year-old.
Ah, to have such simple dreams, be healthy almost all the time, sleep like a log, and be a kid forever so I could always see the world through a child’s eyes!
Linda brought me my nail stickers yesterday but didn’t stay. She was all worn out from physical therapy.
Before that, we ran out to Publix and I jogged a little bit through the store trying to catch him after we split up for a bit and that damn near wiped me out. It left me so tired, and my HR was a little elevated as well. Again, I really hope this is just a matter of sleep apnea and nothing else.
As usual, I woke up tired today and ended up napping for a bit. This is getting to be fucking ridiculous and quite worrisome. I’m trying not to dwell on it much and drive myself crazy with worry, but it’s hard. Especially since my appointment is still over a month away. Hopefully, some of it is caused by the elevated TSH, and extending my waiting time and increasing my med a bit will help.
Tom has this thing called a TENS that you stick to the part of your body that has muscle, tendon, or ligament aches and it zaps the area. It’s similar to how the tummy zapper we had 25 or so years ago worked. It alternates between pulsing and steady vibes. I’m not sure it helped much, but we both have issues with our left shoulders. His is because he was stupid as a kid like most of us are, and he pulled it out of the socket a lot. I’m not sure what mine is from. Maybe an injury or just arthritis.
23andMe has this thing now where you can see your ancestors from all over the world even if you only share barely a percent of DNA. Most of my relatives are in the US of course, but I was surprised to find that next up was Poland. I really thought Russia and Austria would be second and third since my grandfathers were from those countries. Russia is third, but Austria is further down the list. Even Germany is above Austria. I recognized some of the names, but some I didn’t.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21, 2023 Talk about a shitty day so far! Really thought my TSH would be 6-7. instead, it’s at 9. I wanted to scream when I saw that. So maybe it really is a progressive disease and it’s continuing to die off because I haven’t gained weight recently. My T4 is still the same as it was when my TSH was at 7. It’s at 1.3.
A Galileo doc wanted to do a video chat with me so she and I chatted for a few minutes. Since I’ve been feeling OK lately emotionally, we agreed that I would try taking 75s twice a week every other week and once a week every other week. The rest of the time will be 88s. She said I should try waiting an hour before food and drink instead of a half hour which I’ve been doing a lot of the time lately. In six weeks, I go back to the lab.
My endo appointment can’t come fast enough! Of course, neither can the pulmonology appointment. I’m still battling fatigue big time. Tom and I both agree that it’s likely that most of that is on sleep apnea and not thyroid.
Anyway, the doctor said that maybe there would be a different brand I could take or something like that but I have my doubts. I swear it’s like something wants me fat and tired. I would have to see the endo be of help to believe it. The last two didn’t help but I do understand that times change so maybe there’s something new I don’t know about.
Yesterday, at the end of my day, I took a hit off my inhaler because my lungs were a little tight and that perked me up. Tried that again today even though I wasn’t tight, and it didn’t help. I’m still pretty out of it. In fact, Linda is going to bring me the Color Street nail stickers I claimed from her online inventory tomorrow afternoon since I barely have any energy to walk the short distance to her house. This is pretty ridiculous. At least my nails will look good. I claimed Soho Ver It and Snake My Day.
Tom took a life expectancy survey, and it told him that he would live 18 more years and that the last four years of his life wouldn’t be healthy. Sometimes I wonder if it would tell me I’ve only got 10 years or less to live in all of it will be unhealthy. Really, I’m so exhausted that it’s a struggle just to do this entry. I didn’t wake up due to thunder, but I woke up a million times anyway. It’s been stormy for most of the day with rain and some thunder mixed in.
I feel so horrible for those trapped in the missing submersible. It makes me doubt the existence of God even more. If there is one, what kind of God would say to the thousands of people who have prayed for their recovery, “Nah, I’m going to let ‘em all suffocate to death instead.”
Oh, wait a minute. He’s supposed to have his “reasons” for everything, right?
In happier news, Tinkerbella is a totally awesome rat. Best we’ve had since Tinkerbell! She’s intelligent, playful, affectionate, doesn’t grab food roughly, and doesn’t pee all over like male rats do to mark their territory. She’s truly great all around.
Had a dream that I was stuck in this private school or prison of some kind that was totally weird. I didn’t know Tom in the dream. They expected to sleep 8 women per one full-size bed. They had our names along the headboard. I was assigned to a spot on the end and while I was glad to be on the end, I knew I was going to be pushed off with so many people in the bed.
Then I realized it was late in my day, and I told one of the staff members I was going to start unwinding.
“No, you’re not,” she said.
“Yes, I am,” I said back sternly, not willing to be bossed around.
Then I was trying to have a video chat with my dad who was alive and seemed upset with me for something.
TUESDAY, JUNE 20, 2023 Florida, I love you. I really do. But you need to keep your skies quieter when I'm sleeping. Yeah, I'm feeling as shitty as I did a couple of days ago. Talk about bipolar energy levels! Again storms broke up my sleep and again I'm wondering how I'm going to survive storm season. It's not even July yet! My sleep is almost certainly doomed tonight as well. While it would be a lot easier on me if I could sleep from around midnight to 6:00 like most people, nobody's going to get much sleep tonight. I really, really wish we could get the bedroom soundproofed! At least we shouldn’t have to worry about Hurricane Bret. We decided that if we get evacuated again and are able to head north, we’re going to go up to Ocala.
For tonight, I’m going to take hydroxyzine before bed, turn the sound machine up louder, and throw an ear plug in my good ear.
Yesterday, I had more energy and was pretty productive even though the energy didn't last all day. It was still a good day. First I went to the lab for a blood draw. I'm expecting the results anytime now.
When we got back we played with Tink and played golf and then I hit the road and finished his birthday present. I’ve got 660 miles left to go of my trip but there’s no way I’m going to have the energy to ride today.
We also did some health work (as usual) by filling out forms for the PC he’ll be seeing soon and the pulmonologist I’ll see not soon enough.
In 1962 or so, before I was even born and when Tom was only about 5 years old, he was hospitalized for weeks. He had a sinus infection that spread and they said it changed his entire personality. I guess he was outgoing and sociable until then. When he was older they told him his best friend at the time came over to play and he insisted they weren't friends and he didn't want to play with him.
I also met with Helen and sometimes I still wonder if I'm throwing our money away or if she's really helping. I sometimes feel like it's hard for her to accept that we're on opposite sides of the coin when it comes to women's rights, God, etc. I like her but we definitely have different views on some things. If I'd known better (and I should have), I would have tried to seek out a non-Christian therapist if there is such a thing in this state. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only liberal, non-religious person in the state who isn’t sure there’s a God.
In some ways, she's kind of hypocritical because in one breath she talks about free will and how her God gives us choices, but then in the next, she’s heavily implying that she doesn't think women should have a choice when it comes to their own bodies.
Anyway, it was kind of funny when we were discussing my bio mom and how women had kids back in the '60s even if they didn't want them because that's what you did back then. Then, as far as abortion goes, Helen said it was a good thing she didn't have that option.
Actually, I’ve spent a good deal of my life wishing she’d lost or gotten rid of me and I also know how my mother was. If she wanted something bad enough, she found a way to get it. Just like with those of today who can't get a hold of an abortion pill or have one done in a clinic, where there's a will, there's a way to end a pregnancy if you really don't want it. My mother would have gotten rid of me had she wanted to.
“But who gets to decide who lives and who dies?” Helen asked me.
Yet I still don't believe for a minute that a fetus has any sense of awareness, especially in the first trimester.
She also told me that studies have shown that what you tell yourself, you believe, but I’m not sure I believe we humans are that easy to brainwash. If I told myself I was rich, I’m not going to believe it. Maybe it might help some people when it comes to little white lies, like telling yourself some magical God or guardian angel is looking down on you that’s protecting you, even if that may not be true and has never been scientifically proven.
SUNDAY, JUNE 18, 2023 What a horrible night! Tons of loud thunder all night long. As if being woken up half a dozen times by thunder wasn’t bad enough, I had to have a nightmare on top of it. I woke up boxing some guy to death who wanted to kill me and a young woman I was with. The woman and I were in the guy's house. I’m not sure why we were there, but the guy was about average height and weight and when the woman logged food she was eating on a piece of paper, I pointed out that there were food-logging apps that were convenient. The way she looked at me suggested the guy wouldn’t let her near a phone.
Curious to see how he would react as he busily went about preparing food in the kitchen, I mentioned grabbing my phone to let my husband know where I was. Sure enough, he started to protest in a way that told me he planned to enslave us. I went into an instant rage and shouted at him as I stomped toward him, “You don't tell me what to do with my stuff!”
Then I started punching him about the face and head either killing him or knocking him unconscious.
The storms caused me to sleep a little longer and I even ended up napping for over an hour. I just got up for good and I’m sipping my coffee. Still pretty damn tired too. Tom went back to sleep. He woke up at 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep right away. I’m back to worrying about how I’m gonna survive July and August and wishing to hell we had money to have the bedroom properly soundproofed. I’m sick of not being able to do all the upgrades we want to do in every fucking place we moved to!
Did I mention that I have to go to the lab tomorrow morning? I think I added that in one of my blogs but anyway, yeah, gotta go for a TSH draw and then I meet with Helen at 9. Damn, do I hope my TSH isn’t worse than last time! It shouldn’t be. On this dose, I expect a 6 or 7 and that’s pretty much what the scale says.
Since I’m not sure that I can get her hammocks to last for several months, I spotted a good deal on a 10-pack of double-layered hammocks like what she has and grabbed them because I think I’m going to have to change them every month or so with the way she chews on them. They get pretty smelly after a while too, but I’m afraid to wash them for fear of them falling apart because of the way she chews on them.
I was reading about someone who plans to do a paid search on someone, but not even I find myself that curious. I guess to me, it’s like crossing a line into obsession. I can totally see if you do it for a potential lover, roommate, or employee but if you’re paying just to see what you can dig up, you’re no longer curious. You’re obsessed.
SATURDAY, JUNE 17, 2023 I can't seem to stop changing background pictures here. It’s just so much fun playing with all the different designs. LOL.
I have the volume on the camera now and the wind chimes are right near the camera, so I can hear the tinkle of the wind chimes in here. And it’s so nice. If the radar knows half of what it’s saying, we’re going to get slammed all day today. We got a nice storm yesterday too. We’re getting to that time when they should be pretty much every day for a couple of months.
Sinkholes are common in Florida, and I guess they’re investigating one that may open up in the back of the park. They’ve got the road closed. It’s a good thing it’s not near us!
Each day I love this little rat more and more. I would be devastated and totally in tears if she was suddenly gone. Her little pink playpen arrived yesterday and it was so cute how she climbed all over me and around the playpen as I sat inside it with her. Then I stood up and stepped outside of it when she was on the opposite side. I called her over to me and she came right to me.
You really do want to get rats as young as possible. I think the reason we had some that just weren’t all that great was that they were older and it was too late to train them. Because rats are smart, they can be taught somewhat but not like when they’re babies. We’ve also mostly had males in the past, and the females are definitely quicker to catch on.
I’m tired today as usual. I slept for six hours, got a sleep score of 78 which is very low for me, and had huge spikes in oxygen.
Going to the lab on Monday morning.
FRIDAY, JUNE 16, 2023 Ugh, I'm horribly, horribly tired, even though I slept over 7 hours and got a decent sleep score. This time, there was only one little spike of orange too, on the oxygen chart. This is so frustrating and very worrisome too. It’s like when I first noticed I was unable to lose weight where I certainly don’t want anything to be wrong, but if they don’t find anything that could be causing this, I would be so frustrated! I ate shitty stuff yesterday which could be part of why I’m really bad today, but I still think that for the most part, this doesn’t have anything to do with lifestyle, emotions, or thyroid. I’m thinking sleep apnea or heart.
I thought of how Tom said he couldn’t believe the doctors wouldn’t notice if anything was wrong with my heart. But they weren’t testing for that. EKGs don’t always tell it all. They wouldn’t notice that I’ve got Hashimoto’s either. Something’s definitely wrong. I just hope they can find it and that I can stand whatever it takes to treat it.
I still fear I’m doomed to suffer from one thing or another for the rest of my life. I hope I’m wrong, even though I haven’t gotten a break in about a decade!
Early yesterday morning, we had torrential rains for about 10 minutes. There was some thunder but nothing that would have woken me up if I’d been asleep.
Went to Denny’s shortly before 6:00 AM and I got the best chicken strips ever. They were really good. I had French fries and onion rings along with it. So a nice treat albeit not very healthy. He got his usual ham and cheese omelet.
Came home and golfed, and then I went to Denmark. I was too tired to get close to Sweden, but maybe in a day or two, if I can ever wake the hell up. I’m gonna have to nap after I eat a little. How can I have insomnia at the same time I have fatigue??? I thought I would crash earlier yesterday, but I didn’t. I was up for 18 or 19 hours.
Had so much fun playing with Tinkerbella yesterday. The first few days we had her, I wasn’t sure if I’d made a mistake. The next few days, I would have been a little bummed out if she was suddenly gone. Now I’d be heartbroken. She's greased lightning as they usually are as babies. She was jumping and running all over me as I lay on the bed with her and was running all over the bed as well. She’s definitely getting way more curious about the world around her.
THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2023 Happy 29th anniversary to us! Oh, and be careful what you wish for. The other day, I was missing having rats that liked me enough to be a pest and today I got what I wished for and missed. It’s definitely not all about food anymore. I had given her plenty yet she was still climbing all over me for attention while my own food that just finished cooking was getting colder, haha. She’s definitely getting curious to explore her surroundings. It’s so adorable how she leaps onto my shoulder when I open her cage door. She was trying to pull me into the cage too, LOL, tugging on my shirt. I just wish she didn’t bite as much, playful or not, but rats do that at times.
She’s grown in the two weeks she’s been here. It will be interesting to see if her fur remains silky soft like Tinkerbell’s did. Males do tend to have coarser fur, so we’ll see.
Speaking of Tinkerbell, it’s interesting that Tinkerbella changes for the better after I pleaded to Tinkerbell in my mind to please let go of her jealousy. I told her, if you somehow go on and it’s true that you’re jealous of any future rats and fear them taking your place, there’s no chance of that. You were my queen and you always will be. But please don’t be negatively affecting future rats. Please let them be as fun and loving as you were, even though none can ever replace you.
Then two days later, Tinkerbella is all over me instead of running away. Coincidence? Sure makes me wonder!
I’m beginning to wonder if I’m ever gonna be able to go a day in my life without hearing about Trump and seeing that ugly face online, along with DeSantis and racism. The support for him isn’t just disgusting, it’s downright frightening. How many people do you have to be accused of raping and how many derogatory comments do you have to make regarding women, let alone have a hand in stripping their rights before you start losing supporters? Seriously, how much deceit, dishonesty, and blatant lies does one need to tell before they lose support? What if he had succeeded in having the government overthrown and we’d been cast into a dictator country? Would people still support him then?
Anyway, even though I’m as tired as I usually am, we’re gonna be going to Denny’s early this morning. I usually get steak and eggs but I think I’ll get the chicken tenders this time if not salmon. Tom doesn’t enjoy eating out, so that’s why we’re not going to Red Lobster. Denny’s is our compromise. I’m going to lie down and see if I can nap a bit for now.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14, 2023 Major breakthrough with training Tinkerbella. Rats aren’t as vocal as people think so she knows she can “call” me by running around the cage and I’ll hear it rattling. I put her in the carrier and took her into his bathroom. I sat with my back against the wall and placed her carrier next to me. Just like with Tinkerbell, I could see the excitement, curiosity, and affection in her eyes. She came out and climbed on me, and then climbed back down. But instead of going the other way and exploring, she turned around and climbed back up on me all the way up to my shoulder. It was so cute. Jessie said she wants a rat named Remi because that was the name of the rat in Ratatouille.
So running around the house at some point… I don’t know. But she can definitely do bathroom time.
I slept horribly, waking up hot and sometimes cold. I managed to nap for an hour after I got up. I’m gonna hit the shower and hit the road soon. When I got to the German border, everything froze and I thought, this is it. End of trip. But then it jumped me to Hamburg. Since only the big cities have Google Street View there, I’m guessing I won’t be able to go straight to Denmark. As of now, I’m 60% through the trip whereas I was 45% at the border. I went from having 1100 miles left to go to 850 miles. My rank is now 190.
Yesterday I felt a bit short of breath and wasn’t sure if it was anxiety I was also feeling or what. I felt the sensation of my heart racing, even though it wasn’t according to Fitbit. It was just beating a little hard. My first thought was that I was overdoing it on the road because I was on for almost two hours yesterday. Then I noticed my weight was down a bit, and my first thought was that all the exercise was finally having an effect on me but then I realized it wouldn’t do that in just a few hours. It then hit me that I was getting carried away with the poison again. When I feel calmer, I take one 75 during the week instead of two. Knowing it would only get worse and is probably why I’m having insomnia and trouble staying asleep as well as feeling warmer, I’ll make sure to take two 75s this week. No way I’m gonna push it when I know damn well what will happen.
I had a dream I was sitting at a table with Shannan from my old dentist’s office in California. She got so pissed when I brought up the subject of my weight that she left the room, LOL.
Then I had a dream we just moved out of the Phoenix house, but not before a single guy moved in next door. I was telling Tom the only reason a quiet, single guy moved in over there was that we were moving and that if we weren’t moving anytime soon, we would have gotten stuck with a nightmare with our shit luck. As I lay in bed wherever the new place was, I was glad not to have a driveway running alongside the bedroom. Yeah, I don’t miss those days for real.
Heading out to Publix early in the morning and to pick up his new glasses.
MONDAY, JUNE 12, 2023 Since my (friend?) recommended Harry Potter books and movies, I decided to at least check out what they’re about. I see it’s in the fantasy genre. Not my cup of tea but I can see where it would be great stuff for those who are into that sort of thing despite hearing some negative things about the author.
It’s funny because I was recently remembering the doll we sold at the end of the recession. I’ve collected dolls on and off since 1998, and Robert Tonner is a company that sells 16” vinyl fashion dolls. There are a few that are a little shorter and taller. Sometimes they’re made-up characters, but other times they're characters from movies. I had the Hermione doll and was vaguely aware of who she was, but bought her because I liked the doll and the purple ruffled dress she wore. In 2011 or 2012 I decided to sell some dolls and we sold her on eBay for a whopping $450! We thought that was a typo or some kind of error at first.
Limiting my meat to fish only has been easier said than done. I got some pecan-smoked chicken because not only do I like it and crave variety every now and then, but Tinkerbella loves chewing on the bones.
I had a dream about a rat I really loved and I wish I could say that about this one but she’s continuing to be timid. She’s only interested in us when she wants food. She’ll play with us at times but she’s one of those rats that would prefer not to be handled, unfortunately. I swear Tinkerbell put a spell on our future rats! She was queen and she knew it and she was determined to keep it that way even long after her sad demise.
Speaking of sad demises, I still miss the hell out of Aly and having a close friend that was also into writing and that was so damn intelligent. She was 15 years younger and so many times I was like, wow, I didn’t know that at her age, and I’m considered pretty smart myself. But she was even smarter and I enjoyed learning from her instead of being the one to teach others this and that. We never noticed our age difference and we seemed to balance each other out having just as much in common as we didn’t. She was smart and serious whereas I was often silly and eccentric.
One of the things I really liked and that I found quite flattering was how interested she was in my ordinary life. Not only that but she really got me and she remembered things about me. One time, even though we didn’t put much value in these kinds of things, she was telling me about her yearly horoscope prediction for those born in 1981 as she was. I asked her what mine said, and she said she would look at 1965. I remember being happily amazed that she remembered my birth year and knew that some of my childhood friends would likely need to have me remind them what year I was born. It was nice to have someone other than Tom who understood me well and remembered things about me and to have a close female friend since many of my friends were male. I think that growing up with a lot of rejection and disinterested people around me is what made me come to appreciate this sort of thing even more.
It only became frustrating when I wasn’t able to learn as much about her as curious as I was. She was a little more private than me, but it wasn’t just that. Keeping journals about her life just wasn’t her thing. Occasionally she would share stuff about her life in posts but it was mostly stories. She was just one of those who liked to learn more about others rather than share stuff about herself. Erotica mostly, also not my genre, LOL. What people tell me about themselves is up to them but it was still nice to have someone I didn’t know all my life remember both big and little things about me. Can anyone who’s read my journal for more than a year tell me what month my birthday is WITHOUT looking it up?
Time to don my headset and head for the Netherlands tonight. I just may play Prime Music instead since the radio stations in the app are kind of limited. It just gets a little old having MC Hammer tell me I can’t touch this, you know? 😉
SUNDAY, JUNE 11, 2023 Journey to the Center of the Earth is the newest golf course. It's not the greatest, but it's pretty cool. I like the rise and fall of the water in the caves and how you have to wait for the water level to drop before you can hit the ball on some of the holes. Plus the crystal caves and huge glowing mushrooms.
It totally fucking figures that this state sees a huge jump in new residents over the last couple of years. Well, of course it did! I'm here so why wouldn't the population skyrocket? Why does everyone want to go where I want to go?
This rat may never like people in the way Tinkerbell, Blondie, Little Buddy, and Scuttles did but she's getting a little better. I took her in her little carrier and placed her on the bed and lay down next to it. She came out and climbed on me and around the bed a bit. She's faster than me, though, so I have to be careful not to lose her. She wouldn't be easy to get back at this point. I don't know that I’ll ever be able to trust her to have much freedom but maybe one of these nights I can let her run around loose in the bathroom or something and see how she does.
The last couple of days I've had decent energy and I'm starting to wonder if it's because I was skimping on my vitamins to make them last longer and save money. Seems a little too easy but anything is possible. I'll keep taking full doses and see what happens. I've been having watermelon too which they say is good for brain power and energy.
I had a dream Termite Tammy left a comment on my blog. I can't see her doing that at this point in life unless she believed she was being “provoked” somehow but I know how to ignore anyone I don't want to hear from.
Later…
10:10?! I couldn’t believe it when Alexa told me that was the time when I awoke from my nap. I hope that isn’t going to cause my schedule to jump too fast, and I still have storms to worry about interfering with my sleep between now and the end of next month too. I appreciate that I feel better since 5 hours isn’t enough sleep, but I was supposed to get up for the last time at around 8. Not after 10.
During the long nap, I dreamt we moved. The place was bigger but I’m not surprised since most places are. It seemed old and weird, though. There was an ugly giant black pot built into the middle of the kitchen. It was 3 or 4 feet in diameter and about 4 feet high. Tom was boiling a bunch of potatoes in it that seemed to float. When I came into the kitchen and found him doing this, I was like, “How the hell are we gonna get all that water out of there?” and he assured me there was a drain.
For the fourth day, not that I’m complaining, I’ve heard way fewer planes. I could get used to it too.
Fitbit has become a bit of a pain to log in to. So I’m thinking I’ll do what I did when Aly was alive and tweet a random nature or animal pic when I wake up. She used to like it when I did that so she knew when I would be around. I like to remember when I get up for scheduling appointments and just things in general. So I will have gotten up about 5 to 10 minutes before I tweet the pic since I first liked to use the bathroom and take my thyroid pill.
Tinkerbella now begs at her door when she sees me cooking. Too cute! She's getting a little playful, too. Rats will wrestle with your hand like kittens and puppies do.
FRIDAY, JUNE 9, 2023 I make 1-3 journal posts a day but I’ve seen some people journal like some people tweet, LOL. Tons of entries a day!
Had another fun day at the pool. The redneck and his girlfriend, Julie, were there. They brought Happy with them, which pool rule #4 states you’re not allowed to do but personally, if the dog isn’t noisy or dangerous, I don’t give a shit.
A couple of other ladies were with them. I think one’s name was Sandy and the other was Karen.
Anyway, as soon as we headed for the pool, I heard the redneck say, “That’s Jodi.” Julie was glad to meet me. Tom has already met the redneck. He used to stop by and chat with Tom when the yard was first sodded. They were all very nice but I can see why Happy is noisy at times. He’s way better than he was the first few months he was here so I guess it really was all about him being in a new place and not just how he is, but they were kind of encouraging him too. They made these funny sounds on their way out which encouraged Happy to bark a little and make this weird howling sound.
I was worried at first that they were all smoking since there was a guy sitting right outside of the pool smoking and that was annoying enough because it was drifting in my direction. Don’t ever buy into that crap about smoke following beauty! I’m not ugly but I’ve come to be very average-looking in my older age.
They left as soon as we got in the pool, and Tom suspected it was because they had the dog with them. He was so funny too, and said at least it was nice that I didn’t call him redneck. Haha. Then, when I was saying I didn’t care anymore if anyone I knew found my blog, I said, “What are they going to do? Come beat me up.”
He jokes and goes, “I would.” LOL
Funny how the people in the group are rude and the people at the pool are nice. It’s probably better that way though. You can’t punch anyone through a computer.
I’m in Belgium now heading for the Netherlands. I was discussing Google Street View in the VZ group, and yes, Germany restricts that for the most part. The question is, will I get stuck at the border like I got stuck at the Namibia border? Or will it jump me over to Denmark? We’ll find out in a few days.
I had a dream that my parents were alive and came to visit. Instead of each house having its own driveway, there was a big parking lot in which the houses surrounded. I saw a van driven by someone from the airport bring them and some others into the parking lot. I could see my dad was engaged in a discussion with someone sitting in back with him and Mom. As soon as the car stopped and the doors opened, I started to talk and my dad looked startled for a moment and then glanced at me as if he hadn’t realized they had stopped. A second later, they were in our place and Dad asked for a beer. I asked Mom if she wanted anything along the way and she said no.
THURSDAY, JUNE 8, 2023 Another day of horrible fatigue though I’m feeling good emotionally. We went to the pool not long after I got up yesterday. There was a couple there and a woman by herself and we all chatted with each other. Amazingly, I didn’t hear a single plane overhead the whole time. The second to last time the water was chilly but last time it was nice. I learned something from Irma the other day and that’s the location of the dogs I can hear off in the distance at night. I was surprised to learn they were coming from the subdivision in the opposite direction of where I thought they were coming from. I’m surprised because I don’t see how their owners can sleep through that or anyone close to them. That would be like trying to sleep with someone shouting outside your windows all night long. How does one do that? I’m also surprised that’s allowed either way. I thought in those kinds of subdivisions dogs had to be pets only. Makes me think it’s not a 55+ place but all ages since anything goes in the mainstream. Another reason to be glad I adamantly insist we don't live not only close to busy roads but the mainstream.
I expect to slam the Belgian border sometime tonight! My rank is now under 200. I’m 41% through the trip and have gone nearly 1000 miles.
At first I started to wonder if we made a mistake in getting the rat and I’m still not sure if she’ll be an outstanding rat of any kind, but she’s definitely getting braver and more curious. Very smart too, but female rats are usually smarter than males, anyway. She seems to catch on quicker than the guys did. Tinkerbell was this way too. As for how much she’s going to want to play with me and sit with me and all that remains to be seen. We got a little pet carrier that will be good for when we bomb that I also thought I’d put by my desk throughout the night so she can get used to me being close by. She sure is quite a beggar now. LOL.
I talked to Mrs. Twenties last night. She and Mr. Twenties miss us and say maybe they’ll visit someday. Not surprisingly, it’s now been over a year since they turned the water off there. As I said, everything changes for the better when we leave a place. rolls eyes I still don’t think it’s anywhere near as quiet as this place. It can’t be. Not in that location. I should just be glad that this place hasn’t gotten significantly worse in the almost two years we’ve been here. Still, don’t think it will stay like this forever, though.
Still in touch with Mitch, Christine, Irene, and Becky but rarely hear from Adonis and Eileen.
Doc A's birthday was yesterday. She’s about 45 now. That kind of explains the personality, LOL. She’s certainly not mean and abusive like my mother was but she tends to have a dry sense of humor and be more on the serious side.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7, 2023 Wrote this on another site and thought I would share.
Family… My parents and one brother died in 2012. My one sister is alive but I don’t have anything to do with her or her bratty brood. My husband Tom isn’t in touch with his family either. His parents and one of his 4 siblings are deceased. My husband is my number one in life. He’s the only one who really gets me. He lets me be who I am and always supports me. He’s super smart and is 8.5 years older than me and I’m 57. Like many couples in our age group and younger, we opted out of kids in the end so we could be wonderfully selfishly free and adventurous, even if we were met with some disasters along the way.
Friends… I’m not a social butterfly so I don’t see many people in person. My closest friends don’t live near me and that would be Andy, a gay guy I’ve known all my life, and Jessica (Jessie), a childhood friend. There’s Kim, too. She was a nurse in the ER that I had the misfortune of visiting one day with an asthma attack in 1991.
Neighbors… I have a habit of assigning various neighbors, including family members, nicknames based on their appearance or habits, and yes, some of them aren’t very nice. While I have met some rude people where I live, my closest neighbors have been nice so far. I haven’t nicknamed all of my neighbors as sometimes nothing comes to me. But you’ll hear me sometimes mention Mr. No Poop (Al has an anti-poop sign in his yard), the redneck (Steve looks the part), Toni, the honker (comes down from Canada in the winter and has a truck with an audible honk when locked), Sue, Little Miss Be Happy (it’s all fluff and sunshine or nothing at all for her), and Ray, which I sometimes refer to as the Pillsbury man because he kind of reminds me of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
States… I was born and raised in Massachusetts and have also lived in Connecticut, Arizona, Oregon, California, and now Florida.
Religion/Spirituality/Politics… I consider myself liberal and when I say liberal that doesn’t mean opening our doors to thousands upon thousands of immigrants and letting them hog our resources. Nor does that mean giving billions of dollars to other countries. It basically means I’m pro-choice and support the GLBT+ community. Not sure that I believe in things like gods, devils, angels, the afterlife, reincarnation, or multi-universes. I don’t know what to believe. Seems like anything could be possible with some things being a little more or less likely. I don’t follow any organized religion because I believe religion is too structured and often narrow-minded. I do believe in psychics because I am one. No, it’s not a “gift.”
Hobbies… I have many! Languages, cooking, audiobooks, writing, watching shows and movies, diamond painting, acrylic painting, and VR. My top favorite thing to do in VR is use an exercise app that lets me ride through any street that Google Maps has street views of, and my husband and I also love to play miniature golf. I have a meditation app I like, too. I love the beauty of nature and often collect digital photos of nature and some animals as well.
Pets… We currently have a pet rat named Tinkerbella.
Health… Definitely not as good as I’d like it to be. My husband’s health is much better and for that, I am very grateful. He has high blood pressure, though, and I do too but I’m not treating it. I’m very sensitive to medication and prone to side effects. I’ve gone through hell with the thyroid medication I take due to Hashimoto's as it is and still need to be careful. I have high cholesterol but of course, I’m unable to tolerate statins. I was born with atresia in my left ear which means it’s deformed and I’m deaf on that side too. That’s okay, though. My good ear more than makes up for it. Other things I have include ADHD, TMJ, mostly controlled asthma and allergies, non-24-hour sleep cycle syndrome, and possible sleep apnea. I have horrible vision and soft tooth enamel which means I’ve had my share of dental issues. I recently had my gallbladder removed as well.
Appearance… I’m a green-eyed brunette going gray, but keep my hair dyed either dark brown or dark red. I’m short and fat but not OMG kind of fat.
Likes… Shiny/colorful things (especially pink, purple, and mint green), feminine things, dolls and figurines, palm trees, nail polish/stickers, non-salty/spicy foods, rodents, perfume/incense, peace and quiet, flying on planes, beaches, swimming, all kinds of music but mostly from the 70s & 80s, wine, rain, warm weather, good humor (sometimes dark), a clutter-free clean home, caramel, and coffee.
Pet peeves… Republicans, muscle cars/motorcycles, boom car stereos, barking dogs, screaming kids, listening to hammers and power tools.
TUESDAY, JUNE 6, 2023 He and I have been doing more research and what I have is smacking more and more of sleep apnea. Insomnia and nightmares can also be symptoms. Back in 2012 when I first saw a dentist in California, she asked if I had sleep apnea. I told her I didn’t think so and I now wonder what it was she saw in my throat that made her think that. So it probably isn’t connected to my weight, and again, I’m not that big.
The only thing that concerns me should they confirm it is sleep apnea is if whatever appears to be cursing my sleep all my life does something else to fuck with it. It seems to always find a way to get around whatever I attempt to do to better it. I’d hate to get a CPAP and find that it gives me more energy just to have them go ahead and build up behind us, or for there to be more low-flying helicopters.
One thing that could be worse than both sleep apnea and heart issues would be if I developed chronic fatigue because there’s nothing they can do for that. At least if it was sleep apnea, there are options, and there would be medication if I had heart issues. Just not necessarily medication I could tolerate, but at least I would have a shot at helping myself.
Been tired all day, even though I slept 7 hours and got a sleep score of 90. It also says I had two spikes in blood oxygen saturation levels, one of them being a pretty big swing.
The lack of alone time is getting to me again. Because there aren’t as many jobs at this time of year with the snowbirds being gone, and mostly retail in this area, it may not be until the end of the year before he’s working again. I want him to work so we have extra money and I have more alone time but I don’t want him to work because I know he wouldn’t like that and then I would worry about something going wrong while I was alone. Turn off air cleaner MONDAY, JUNE 5, 2023 Another exhausting day. Woke up 4 or 5 hours into my sleep and had a little trouble getting back to sleep. Then I got up after sleeping just 6 hours because I had to pee. When I couldn’t get back to sleep I got up for an hour but was still so tired that I went back to sleep for a couple of hours.
This is just ridiculous. I barely made it to the store. I had to lie down when we got back because it took the wind out of me so much. When I got enough energy, we went to the pool for a quick dip. It was fun even though I again had the wind knocked out of me.
Just did 8 miles on the road and my energy is depleted even more.
It’ll be 50 days before I see the pulmonologist. This seems so far away. It’s looking more and more like it could be sleep apnea. I not only have so many symptoms but it’s been worse the last 4-5 days, and according to Fitbit, I had more spikes in blood oxygen saturation.
The thought of having to sleep with a hose stuck to my face doesn’t sit well with me but I would be willing to do just about anything at this point if it’s going to help me and bring my energy back. I miss the days when my worst problems were toothaches and TMJ!
If this isn’t sleep apnea, it could be my heart but that one’s harder to believe. I just had an EKG and it’s hard to believe the doctors wouldn’t have picked up something from that or during surgery.
Not much in the way of lower stomach pain today so that’s good. Sure have been having issues with my left shoulder, though. I wish that was my only problem!
Maybe I really have beaten most of the anxiety because I always did say that as soon as I did there would just be something else. Just like if I ever find out what’s going on with me and hopefully get it resolved there will be something else. It’s one thing after another. I haven’t had a break in 9 years so I don’t expect to start anytime soon. I really fear and believe I’m going to struggle with ongoing health issues for the rest of my life.
Andy said he usually sleeps straight through and every once in a while, he’ll wake up to pee. He said that if I do, I may be tempted not to put the mask back on being sleepy and all that but that when I wake up I may regret that I didn’t. That makes sense but I can also see how it would be a pain in the ass to deal with when you’re half asleep and you just want to get back to sleep.
I wash my hair every other day and am going to try to make a point of hitting the pool before I plan to wash it even if it means swimming to a soundscape of one plane after another. Hell, there were just seconds between planes. Forget about minutes.
We exchanged helloes with a couple that was there that I’d seen in the park group. The lady later “liked” the rat pictures I decided to share after all, curious to see how many reactions/comments it would generate. Because my memory isn’t what it used to be and there are so many people I’ve talked to in the group, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was one of the ones that were rude to me at some point but I’m guessing we haven’t had any problems or else she wouldn’t have “liked” the rat.
Interestingly enough, he got a text message saying there was a water main leak and the water would be off but we never even noticed.
Anyway, other things that could cause fatigue according to my research are various cancers but I don’t have the weight loss and chronic cough that typically goes with that so that’s my last guess.
I’m down a few pounds since cutting portions and having less meat. Now that I know just how potent levothyroxine is, I suspect it isn’t that my thyroid died off more after we moved here but that my TSH probably rose because I gained weight. The TSH adjusts up and down when we lose or gain weight. I just didn’t realize it only took a few pounds to affect it. I thought it would take about 20 pounds.
Tinkerbella now takes food from us but continues to be on the shy side.
SUNDAY, JUNE 4, 2023 I wasn’t going to write today but I’m in the mood to. I would be more in the mood if I had more energy. Took me all day just to get the energy to do this entry. It seemed all I had the energy for was playing around with different pretty backgrounds.
Really worried about myself at times and wonder what the hell is going on. A 57-year-old shouldn’t get the wind knocked out of her just from cleaning her kitchen. But it’s like it sucked the energy right out of me, not that I had much to begin with. I feel like my body is struggling to keep up with life. It’s working really hard, just to function. Some things I feel make me think it’s sleep apnea and other things make me worry that it’s my heart. I don’t see myself dying anytime soon, but if I ever stop updating any of my accounts, something bad happened.
I hear thunder rumbling in the distance as a storm moves closer. So glad I’m awake! I usually have to sleep during prime storm time. The weather’s been humid but gorgeous. It’s a shame I have so little energy that I can’t be out there enjoying it. Tomorrow we’ll be out running to Publix to get some salad since Walmart had to give me a half-rotten salad. I should have known better than to trust them.
I worry I’m never again going to have the energy to go to the beach. Something’s gotta be causing this, and I really wish I knew what it was. It’s the worst it’s ever been. I think that’s part of why I’m not writing on PB as much, besides the security/doxing issues. I feel like I just don’t have enough positive stuff to say, but I’m not going to play things down in my own journal either. Also, there has been an increasing number of males there. Haven’t had a problem with any but still.
Still have that pain on and off in my lower left tummy but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.
About 25% of my vibes or visions or whatever you want to call them – feelings - come when I’m awake, but most of what I see and learn comes in my sleep. I haven’t had any dreams of dying or anything bad happening to me. So hopefully that means I’ll figure it out in the end. Or better yet, the doctors will. Figuring it out is one thing, though, while treating it is another, whatever it may be.
The only dream I remember last night was moving to Washington State of all places. I wouldn’t mind the rain they get, but I wouldn’t like anything else.
Because I’m on days now, I haven’t caught my furry girl awake much since she’s nocturnal. But she’s been patted, chatted to, and picked up a few times. She likes to walk around my neck. Something that will be a bit hard for her to do once she’s full grown. Those nails are really going to be scratching me but this is Florida. I’m only in sleeves for 3 months of the year.
Even this entry is sucking energy out of me, so I guess that’s it for now.
SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 2023 We got our new rat, Tinkerbella, this morning! She’s a little cutie. I can already tell we're not going to have a Tinkerbell, Blondie, Sugar, or Little Buddy but I think she'll become a lot less timid in time. She's 6-8 weeks and not much bigger than Fuzzy was when we got him. I just hope she isn't going to miss having a roommate! She's sleeping right now since rats typically sleep in the daytime anyway.
They had about 8 rats, half white, half hooded. The hooded part of the rats had Berkshire rat coloring, so dark brown. I chose a cute little hoodie. As the “hood” reaches their necks and then their backs, the color tends to get spotty rather than a solid line. Tinkerbella has more of a wide solid line which I like the looks of.
We were surprised they had so many females. They usually keep those for breeding.
Yesterday we went to Port Richey, but they didn’t have any rats. They sure had some cute ferrets, though. Just when I was starting to get used to and accept that this is our forever home, I go wishing we had a bigger place and more money. The ferrets were $350! I held one for a few seconds and it was so adorable.
Thought about sharing Tinkerbella’s picture in the park group, but nope, no desire to interact with anyone here, although we do say hello to Toni every now and then. She was out when we were pulling in and I told her we got a pet rat. She congratulated us, LOL. Otherwise, I have no desire to interact with people here or online other than those I’m already interacting with.
Been having pain in my very lower left stomach close to the pubic area for the last couple of days. Really hope it’s nothing serious with my ovary. It’s probably just a flare-up since not all cysts are critical. Ibuprofen seemed to do the trick as far as the pain goes. I just hope it doesn’t come back. So far, so good.
Had okay energy for half of my day yesterday. But today I woke up tired, not surprisingly. I woke up a few times a couple of nights ago, but don’t remember snoring. Last night, I awoke more than a few times and had trouble getting back to sleep one of the times when I got up to pee.
Finally got a pulmonologist appointment for the end of next month.
Met with Helen a couple of days ago. When I was telling her that I suspected I had sleep apnea and she was discussing CPAP machines and testing with me and all that, it hit me that she was speaking from experience. I asked her if she had it, and she said she did. I said I was sorry if I put her on the spot since I’m usually pretty perceptive, but she didn’t mind.
Poor Jessie has gained 9 pounds in the 6 months she’s been on the lower thyroid dose.
Andy’s still asking me the same questions, and so is Kim, who I still keep in touch with via email. I try to wait a few days before I reply because I know that within two hours of sending that message, I’m going to get a reply. I swear that girl is home 90% of the time, and all she does at home is play with her phone! I’m waiting for the day when she says she couldn’t get back to me the same day because she was either tired or sick, or too busy. So I hold off a few days to space things out. She could go back and forth 10 times a day with the same old shit, and believe me, I have no desire to do that.
THURSDAY, JUNE 1, 2023 Nothing screams “crazy” louder than the site at the house on the corner next to the redneck. That’s where the bipolar lady lives. There’s shit everywhere, and I don’t mean trash strewn about but weird objects placed in weird places. There’s a crutch leaning against the tire of her car, and things like a fan on a stand in the middle of the yard and it’s just weird. There’s random shit all throughout her two lanais and driveway. I can just imagine what the inside of the place looks like. She even has a window AC, which isn’t allowed. It shouldn’t be necessary either, as long as your central AC works.
I guess she doesn’t take her meds regularly. It’s scary to think of a person like that driving. I mean what if she thinks she has to drive down the street in the wrong direction or else shall die in 5 minutes or some crazy shit like that? I still think those with significant mental illness, even though most people wouldn’t agree with me, should be kept away from others simply because of the dangers they pose. How do I know that the voices in her head aren’t going to convince her that Tom and I are the devil and she’s not gonna go out and get a gun and try to kill us? Any idiot with half a brain can look at her place and see that whoever lives there isn’t right in the head. This isn’t someone with a mental illness that makes her a little moody at times, but that makes her downright delusional. There’s a difference.
I know she’s been banned from the clubhouse. I just thank God, even if I’m not sure I believe in one, that she’s not next to us.
No duck statue with its beak in the crotch of a mermaid statue these days, though. LOL.
Anyway, nutjobs aside, the day started off shitty but it’s getting a little better. Lots and lots of fatigue. I even had a little lightheadedness and a touch of chest pain, not that there’s anything wrong with my heart. The bulk of what I’ve been feeling is fatigue and brain fog. I slept super shitty last night. I still swear something’s cursing my sleep and when there’s no traffic to use as a weapon against it, it’s using my own body. My own snoring woke me up a few times. I don’t understand why I’m snoring like this all of a sudden. It’s not like I recently got fat.
I also woke up to pee, or just because, and from weird dreams. In one dream, someone I couldn’t see was telling me they read every single one of my journal entries and that they “own” it. I took this to mean they downloaded a copy of the journal and would have been flattered if it wasn’t for the hint of malice in their voice. The person appeared as a shadowy figure, so I couldn’t see who they were. The voice might have been female. I heard a second voice that was muffled, and then the shadow figure said, “No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”
Then there was a dream that I was imagining falling 40 feet. Hopefully, I was imagining it anyway, and not planning it.
I had tons of other dreams, but can’t remember them.
Tom has been cutting his portions for the last month and is down 2 lbs. Unfortunately, cutting back doesn’t cut it for me, but I’m going to try. I still fear losing significant weight because of my med but I know how to cut back if the side effects get to me. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling losing some weight would help with the snoring and other things like high blood pressure and even cholesterol. I’m going to cut out all meat except for fish. I still say my body won’t give it up, especially with an elevated TSH but we’ll see. It definitely can’t hurt.
I was so out of it and groggy when I got up that I had to go back to sleep for a few more hours. It took me forever to clear the cobwebs from my head.
I’m meeting with Helen in about an hour.
They mowed the field in the back, and I hope to hell it isn’t in preparation to build anything back there. Tom said they would have cut trees if that was the case. Yeah, why didn’t they cut the trees? Particularly the ones hanging over the fence.
I like the creamy eyeshadow stick crayons that I got, only they’re so light you can barely see them. I’m gonna get others in a variety of colors sometime. It’s a lot easier to apply than powder eyeshadow.
The watermelon cube slicer isn’t as easy to use as they make it look. Might be better to make cubes and layers next time, instead of cutting all the way through.
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slowdiived · 2 years ago
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Hey! Could I request maybe a fic where your and kurts fans have been trolling you non stop that kurts cheated on you but it hits a breaking point when a photoshopped image hits Twitter. When he next sees you you tell him to go away that you don’t wanna see him rn and he’s confused ugly crying with no idea what he’s done wrong. When you tell him he shows you it’s photoshop and soothes you that he loves you and only you. Basically it’s the first time he actually gets really spiteful towards having a fanbase. Np if it’s not your type of thing or anything!
I LOVE THIS IDEA FR!
the perfect pair (kurt kunkle x fem reader)
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this is cannon to my other stories! mentions of alcohol but that’s about it. this one kinda hurt to write lmao
you were tired after working a double shift, angry that one of your coworkers decided to not show up. you cursed yourself for being such a pushover sometimes, not ever standing up for yourself. you had to cancel on kurt for the night and it made you sad because you really wanted to film with him.
the drive home was unbearable, your legs felt like utter shit since you were tasked with running around and stocking food shelves for too long. your music was quiet, mumbling along to your monthly playlist. you got a few messages from kurt but you ignored them until you got home.
as you parked, you noticed your roommate was home and had another car over. you quickly got all your stuff together and ran up the stairs to your apartment, fumbling for your keys. you managed to find it and unlock your house door. you dropped your bag on the floor next to the welcome mat. you looked up and was quickly greeted with your roommate and a few other people pouring shots, quiet and staring. you felt so uninvited that you picked your bag back up and stomped off to your room.
you threw everything down on the floor and started undressing. you found some pajamas and got them on fast. you threw yourself onto your messy bed and sighed, finally feeling okay.
you opened your phone and noticed it was already 10:20 pm. you can't believe you were suppose to be gone by three in the afternoon, you could've been able to see kurt. you rolled your eyes in annoyance at the situation. you clicked on kurt's messages:
kurt: how was ur shift?💙
kurt: i miss u tbh ☹️
kurt: bobby is being not the nicest and i wish u were here with us 💔🙃
you smiled at his cute messages and responded telling him that you would see him tomorrow. he was free for the day and so were you, content for your fans would be nonstop tomorrow. you soon found yourself on twitter looking at your timeline.
it was all pretty standard tweets, people just messing around. you checked your replies on your newer tweets, always loving what people had to say. you noticed some people talking about how they saw kurt with another girl. you shrug it off and switch back to aimlessly scrolling. people pull weird shit like that all the time.
you found a thread on kurt that had showed up because one of the fan accounts you followed retweeted it. it was titled ‘why i don’t think kurt and (y/n) aren’t actually together’
you and kurt hadn’t made yourselves exclusive yet and especially hadn’t told the internet what had been going on between the two of you. your relationship was a point of attraction to your guys’ content. everyone was on the ‘will they or won’t they’ train. you both did play up for the camera, accidentally saying something slightly off or holding gazes too long. they ate it up every time, the viewers making edits, fan art, and fanfiction. it was something else.
kurt: i know we will see each other tomorrow but i want u rn 😭
you: maybe you can pick me up after i wake up and get ready? then we will have the whole day together :)
kurt’s message gave you anxiety for a moment, scared that he knew what you were reading or something. when you finished answering him, you went back to twitter. you read through people’s ‘proof’ which was weird and utter bs.
then you came across an image of kurt and a girl. the tweet had said that he had been seen with a different girl and they were caught kissing. your heart nearly shattered. you didn’t understand why you were so upset, you guys weren’t fully official anyways but for the last month you both had been all over each other. hell, you were his first kiss and his first cuddle, most of his firsts. no way he used you for that and then turned around to start with other girls.
you shut your phone off and tears started streaming down your face. you didn’t know what to do. you thought kurt wanted to be with you. he talked about how much he cared about you, how happy you make him, how he wants to always please you…
this couldn’t be happening.
you cried yourself to sleep, more exhausted than before.
-
you woke up to the sound of your roommate slamming the front door. you stretched and sat up, looking around your room in a tired daze. you saw your alarm clock said it was already the afternoon. you were shocked at how tired you actually were but you got up.
you noticed your phone had a bunch of notifications from kurt asking if you were still sleeping and when he should get you. he was always spamming messages which didn’t bother you none. you told him that you had just gotten up and that you were getting ready.
as you sent the message you remembered what you had saw the night previous. you opened your phone up to check twitter again, hoping it was just a bad dream, your brain pulling pranks.
soon your whole feed was talking about it. you threw your phone against the bed in a fit of rage. you didn’t want to back out of hanging out with kurt, you thought maybe you could confront him. you knew kurt wasn’t the smartest, maybe he just took a picture with a fan and she asked for a kiss on the cheek so he did it?
you weren’t completely sure.
you took a shower and dried your hair, then just getting in some comfy clothes. you just wore black leggings and a white tank top, a red jacket zipped up to your chest. you put on a pair of vans and kurt had already said he was there. you sighed and put your hair up with a claw clip then headed to your front door. you opened it and jumped at the sight of kurt being right there, smiling his goofy smile.
“shit kurt!” you said, hand over your heart. “you scared me.”
“i just wanted to see you,” he smiled. “wanted to walk you to the car n’ stuff.”
you nodded and nervously bit your lip, hesitating to walk out the door for a moment.
“can i talk to you before we leave actually?” you nervously held onto your arm.
“yeah of course!” he came in and closed the door behind him.
you awkwardly started pacing, nervous to say anything. tears already started rolling and you didn’t know how to stop them.
“what’s wrong?” he said, his tone changing from the happy demeanor he had.
“the girl,” you started talking, voice trembling.
“what girl?” he asked quickly.
“why w-were you with another girl?” you managed to choke out with minor hesitations.
he gave you a confused look, pushing the hair out of his face. he leaned on the arm of the couch.
“i haven’t been with any other girl?” he perked up.
that made you angry. he shouldn’t play stupid. he’s better than that.
“kurt, don’t fuck with me,” you said in disbelief. “you used me because i was nice to you and now because you have like-more followers or something, you push me to the side? it’s fucked up.”
he tried to walk up to you but you gently pushed him away.
“what’s going on?” he said in a panicked tone. “i don’t know why you would say that, i care about you and- like a lot!”
“no you don’t!” you yelled, tears streaming down and the situation escalated. “just get out kurt, you can find some other bitch to make content with. i’m out.”
he was crying as well, hurt that you would insinuate he’s lying. he didn’t want to make content with anyone else, he didn’t want to leave you. he didn’t understand where any of this was coming from. he wanted to kiss you and prove that he wanted you.
“i’m s-serious,” he cried out. “i don’t know what you are on-on about!”
he choked out desperate cries like a child trying to state their case. you furiously pulled out your phone and went straight to twitter as he sniffled in the background. you found the picture almost instantly, your heart sinking all over again, more tears drowning out kurt’s heavy breathing.
“this!” you shoved the phone in his face. “i thought we were like, together kurt!”
he grabbed the phone and looked at it, wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeve. his brows furrowed and he tilted his head slightly.
“that’s a screenshot from one of my old videos,” he mumbled out. “i don’t know who that girl is.”
“bullshit!” you screamed out.
he started scrolling, and you just cried harder. you hadn’t felt this bad since you had first moved to california. this shattered your heart. he was the first real friend you had made and you guys both went viral together. he was the reason you had anything.
he then shows the phone to you, showing you the exact photo of him minus the girl. it was in fact from his youtube video.
you felt mortified, embarrassed, awkward… you looked crazy the way you were sobbing.
you grabbed your phone and turned it off, throwing it on the couch. he looked at you with red tear stained puppy dog eyes.
“you don’t have to worry (y/n),” he sniffled out.
you immediately cling onto him, engulfing him in a hug. you held on tight and he reciprocated. you didn’t want to let go.
“i’m so sorry,” you cried again. “i just saw the picture and everyone was saying that you were cheating. i’ve never been cheated on so i felt so sick.”
he held onto the back of your head and he pulled away to look down at you. he wiped the tears from under your eyes and you smiled up at him.
“i would never,” he reassured, his thumb under your jaw. “i’m gonna be here for a long time-uh, if that’s okay obviously.”
you laughed and closed your eyes nodding. he pulled you in again, rubbing your back as you squeezed tight. he was angry, why would people want to put something like this out to get in between you two? his fans always said dumb shit in his lives or on his youtube comments, but no one had actually crossed boundaries before. he didn’t even have any boundaries, he let people say horrible shit about him or write nasty fanfiction that wasn’t for the faint of heart. he never told his viewers what was right or wrong and now he was going to have to come out with your relationship and tell them to knock it off.
“hey (y/n),” kurt whispered against your head.
“mhm?” you hummed out.
“i think we should tell the viewers that we are like dating-or seeing each other, not dating sorry.” he fumbled his words per usual.
“we can tell them that we are dating,” you pulled away to look at him, your arms still around his waist.
“actually? like you want to?” he asked, his eyes big.
“yeah,” you smiled. “i just nearly lost it as you for being with another girl, i think we are basically dating.”
he giggled and pulled you into a kiss, surprising you that he initiated the kiss first.
149 notes · View notes
gingeraleluke · 4 years ago
Text
𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘅𝗲𝗿 ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ
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𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: underground boxer!vinnie x fem!influencer!reader (social media + real life AU)
𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: in which a girl in a leather jacket is the sister of a boxer whose new opponent gets under her skin.
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: swearing, arguing, slight sexual harassment, drug use, drug addiction, mention of vomit
𝗔/𝗡: readers brother in this is blonde and white! you can interpret it as your biological brother or adopted, it’s open ended for you! while some things are inserted, this is still a reader insert fic.
THIS IS BASICALLY AN OC FIC BUT WITH YOUR NAME!!
thank you to @obliviatevamps for the idea :)
next chapter
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𝐼𝑁𝑇𝑅𝑂𝐷𝑈𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁
𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝘅𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲. 𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝘅𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹.
𝗛 𝗔 𝗩 𝗢 𝗞 𝗩𝗦 𝗛 𝗔 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗥
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Y/N:
INSTAGRAM: @ Y/NPICS 720K FOLLOWERS
TWITTER: @ Y/N 500K FOLLOWERS
TIKTOK: @ Y/N 1M FOLLOWERS
DRAKE:
INSTAGRAM: @ DRAKEHAVOK 59.8K FOLLOWERS
TWITTER: @ DRAKEHAVOK 20K FOLLOWERS
VINNIE:
INSTAGRAM: @ VINNIEHACKER 700K FOLLOWERS
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
9:50 AM
𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣
new tweet from y/n
@ 𝙔/𝙉
big day today guys!! might get a huge sponsorship so wish me luck! :)
💬242 🔁101 ❤️2K
11:25 AM
𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣
new tweet from y/n
@ Y/N
never fucking mind :(
💬403 🔁200 ❤️4.6K
replies
@ userone: :( no queen what happened??
@ usertwo: ayo what
@ moriahhh: ?? call me
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
“no, martha. it’s over! i fucked it up.” y/n hurriedly ran down the stairs, her clear heels clicking with each step. she could hear the roaring from the clouds from outside, even through the static of the phone. “benji was right, okay? i cant fucking do this shit, i’m just not ready for it i guess…” her anger seeped into sadness as her phone vibrated against her cheek. “fuck, i gotta go.” she hung up without saying goodbye and shoved her phone in the pocket of her ripped jeans, the papers in her arms untidy and crinkling under her arm.
“shit… shit.” she ran as fast as she could in her heels, pushing the glass door to the exit forcefully and was immediately met with rain and high winds.
curse the parking lot for being full.
she had to park her car almost a block away on the busy street and as if that wasn’t bad enough, a storm was now clearly brewing.
she tried her best to avoid the mud puddles in the cracks of the side walk and felt like an idiot walking by the passing cars. a huge gust of wind almost knocked her off her feet, and a few of the papers in her arm slipped out and into the atmosphere, flying away and being carried by the breeze.
“UGHH.” she audible groaned and said ‘fuck it,’ before letting all the papers go. the documents were useless anyway so it was pointless chasing after them, she just hoped mother nature wouldn’t be too mad at her. it is just paper anyway.
once she reached her range rover, she pulled out her phone and opened the text messages she received.
Bruno:
Okay, seriously please hurry. Idk what’s up with him
Are you on your way?
Helloooo??
He just fucking threw up on my shoes get here asap
jesus christ
“why does this shit happen to me…” she started angrily typing away.
yes, i will be there soon. sorry.
after she hit send, she got a notification from instagram, and instead of swiping up, she accidentally opened it.
@ vinniehacker is now following you!
the notification took her to his page and when she saw how many followers he had, her jaw dropped.
he was hot.
definitely not y/n’s type though. the more she looked through his pictures the more he reminded her of her ex. he must have just been famous for being pretty. he had almost as many followers as she had but he wasn’t verified like she was. clicking on a shirtless pic, she ran her eyes down his chest. a spider tattooed right in the center of his build and little tattoos scattered here and there. she scrolled back to the top of his page and hit the follow back button. she thought nothing of it. just a kinda cute guy who she had no intention of ever talking to.
definitely not my type. she thought before driving away.
as y/n walked into the gym, she was met with her usual wolf whistles from men, despite how awful she looked from the weather.
she walked up to the tall brunette, “alright where is he?”
“damn, y/n! no hello? it’s been a while-“ he starts laughing as he towers over her, placing down the weight he was previously holding and trailing his eyes down her body.
“roman, shut the fuck up, where is he?”
“he’s in the back with bruno. you should’a saw it, your brother is a mess.”
“yeah wonder whose fault that is.” she walked by roman, shoving him with her shoulder as she passed. she wasn’t in the mood for his bullshit. it’s not like she ever likes taking to him, but she especially didn’t right now.
she reached the back and walked by a bunch of shirtless boxers, each of them dripping in sweat. she hated being there. she always felt so teeny around men, like she was a mere mortal yet they were gods. it pissed her off how she felt this way, knowing that she was just as powerful as a man, yet still had that tremble in her step whenever she was near one, and this janky and highly illegal gym was soaking with testosterone that she didn’t want to dip her feet in.
“oh, god.” she was met with the sight of Bruno cleaning his shoes from her brothers sickness.
“yeah, oh god!” he was clearly fuming and y/n could already feel the stress start to pile on her shoulders.
“i’m starting to think that I shouldn’t help him anymore! i mean, how the hell am i supposed to help him accelerate through heavy weight opponents when the fucker is a lightweight?! did you give him something?”
y/n shifted her weight to her other foot, standing their awkwardly in heels. she wore a white tee with slightly teared jeans and a light blue plaid blazer. it was nothing like her usual wear, and she felt almost naked without her iconic leather jacket. it was a staple in her style and when her fans saw her mirror selfie on instagram this morning, comments were flooding with questions about where he jacket was. she wanted to look nice for her first ever business meeting, but clearly things didn’t go as planned. “no! he didn’t drink a sip last night, i was sure of it.”
“yeah, well…” he sighs and stands up before walking down the hallway. “you gotta take him to the doctors or something- somethings wrong with him.”
y/n kissed her teeth and nodded, following him.
“drake! your sister is here.”
“ughh whyyy?” he groaned while getting up from a weight bench.
“i don’t know, drake, why am i here?” y/n had her teeth clenched and stared him down, she was irritated.
he locked eyes with his younger sister, and his face immediately faltered, his eyes going soft.
bruno walked away, leaving the siblings standing there, arms crossed.
drake shook his head and turned towards the door to the basement.
“no, no, no, where are you going?” y/n yelled, fed up with his shit.
“chill, i just have to put my gloves up.” she slightly frowned and followed drake down the basement stairs, after watching him undo the lock with his key.
“make sure you give bruno his key back….” her shoes balanced on the creaky steps as drake reached up to pull the chain and turn the light on. he was tall and it dangled right next to his head and the light seeping from under the crack of the door made it not hard to find.
“actually, i don’t have to!” the blonde turned to look back at his sister as she heard a clicking noise and his face was suddenly illuminated. he had a huge grin on his face and waited for y/n’s reply.
“wait. you got in?”
he gave her a small smile before turning around and continuing down the stairs. “technically no. i haven’t been accepted yet, but i find out later tonight! i’m sure they’ll say yes, i mean look at me.” y/n snorted and replied “don’t get your hopes up.”
“hey!”
she chuckled as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
“okay, hurry up. I want to go home and eat, i’m starving and missed lunch…”
“calm down!” he walked through the basement, a huge ring in the center of it and lockers towards the back. this was where the fights took place. she had been there quite often and gotten used to the weird smell from watching her brother fight in the small stands.
as she made her way towards the lockers, she saw a huge, no, GIGANTIC sign on the wall that said in big capital letters,
H A C K E R
“the hell is this?” she pointed towards it and looked over to see drake rummaging around in his locker.
“oh, that? that’s the guy i’m trying to fight.”
“hacker?”
“yep.” he slammed his locker before looking through the pocket in his pink hoodie. “fuck, i gotta go to romans tonight.”
y/n furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched her nose, “what? why?!”
“i’m outta the stuff. i gotta pick up a new cart.”
“okay hello??” he started walking by her and towards the stairs. “you got sick today for the fifth time in the past month. you said it wouldn’t affect your work-“
“and it hasn’t.”
“bullshit!” she stomped up the stairs following him out the front door.
once they reached his car, she continued talking.
“are you fucking stupid? drake why do you think you got sick in the first place?”
he shrugged, opening the trunk to his car and putting his work bag in it.
“i dunno. germs?”
y/n rolled her eyes, “it’s that shit romans been giving you. he’s milking you dry!”
“nah it’s safe, trust me.” he ran his hand through his blonde locks.
y/n gave up. it wasn’t worth the argument.
“fine! but the next time you get sick at the gym, i’m not helping you.”
“fine!”
he opened the door to the car and immediately shut it.
“i need your car.”
oh my fucking god.
“im sorry what? fuck you, no it’s my car! use yours!”
“come on!! mines a piece of junk and you know it.”
“well maybe if you got yourself a real job instead of living off of your little sister than you would have a nice one like me.”
drake just looked at her, waiting for her to cave in. y/n felt her stomach start to growl.
“fine.” she handed him the keys as he walked to her car and sat in the front seat. “but you owe me! you’ve been treating me like shit recently..” he just nodded.
“wait!”
he stuck his head out the window, his blonde hair draped over his face. “what?”
“wh-what about dinner?”
drakes face became confused as he wondered what she was talking about.
“what about it?”
“well… it’s your turn to cook tonight and i had a bad da-“
he turned on the engine, cutting her off.
“just order pizza or something!” he shouted.
y/n looked down at the ground and just nodded, her feet still killing her. she watched her older brother back out and drive away before she got in his piece of shit car and made her way to their shared apartment.
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7:06 PM
𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
new tweet from y/n
@ Y/N
just ate a whole pizza. feeling angry and kinda want to punch someone 😃
💬600 🔁235 ❤️2K
replies
@ userone: OMGG PUNCH ME PLEASE IM BEGGING 😩
@ usertwo: I VOLUNTEER PLEASE
@ userthree: RUN ME OVER
@ usedfour: why are you angry? who am i killing 🥰
7:16 PM
𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
new tweet from drake
@ DRAKEHAVOK
i have the best sister in the world :)
💬4 🔁20 ❤️272
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
after eating her last slice of pizza, y/n muted her television which was playing reruns of friends. she could feel the vibration of her phone ripple through the couch, and she picked it up to see Moriah was calling her.
“hey.” she picked up her soda and started drinking it.
“y/n, did you see what drake said?”
“what? no? i was busy watching friends, why what did he do?”
“check twitter.”
moriah was a local graphic designer that y/n met two years ago. they immediately hit it off and have been inseparable ever since. it was nice having a girl friend. while she loved her other two besties, zach and quinn, (who she calls ‘the gays’ since they are the cutest couple ever), she needs that girl talk sometimes and despite how feminine zach is, he just didn’t fully get it.
when she saw drakes tweet, she immediately rolled her eyes and typed a reply;
quote tweets
@ y/n: suck my nuts
she watched as hundreds of people started to reply and retweet. honestly, she didn’t care at this point. her brother was being a dick and he knows it.
“i cant fucking believe him.” moriah said over the phone.
“i can.”
“anyways… are you coming with the gays and i to that pool party thing in the hills?”
“umm yeah i think so? i don’t know, zach asked me if i wanted to be in his vlog for friday so i’m guessing yes. why did quinn ask you?” y/n started fiddling with her hands.
her phone buzzed.
“hold that thought, i got a text.”
“ok.”
y/n couldn’t contain the scoff she made when she saw the notification.
“what?”
“mo, guess who texted me…”
“drake?”
“yup!”
Drake 🐼
hey, i’m staying at romans tonight so….
do you need your car for tomorrow??
“what did he say?”
“he said he’s spending the night at romans…”
she could hear mo laugh on the other end. “yeah i know, my brothers a fucking joke.”
are you staying because you’re wasted?
nope
promise?
yep
do you need your car or not?
“why does he have your car?”
“i don’t know, probably because he likes to piss me off.” y/n grabbed a hair tie and put her hair up before typing, while mo went on about her day.
i guess not.
just don’t fucking wreck it or i stg
lol
the two girls stayed on the phone for a while, gossiping about tiktoker drama, when y/n got a call from her brother.
“ugh, it’s drake i gotta go.”
“okay!” she chirped, chewing something she was eating, “just let me know when you want to meet up.”
“okay. love you, bye.”
she answered the phone and could hear cheering coming from the speaker, pulling the phone away from her ear at the noise
the fuck?
“oh my god, y/n!”
“yeah? what?”
incoherent voices and more screaming muffled whatever the fuck her brother was telling her.
“drake, i can’t hear you.”
“oh? fuck hold on!”
drake walked into another room and started speaking.
“check the gyms new post!”
“what wh-“
“just do it!!” and with that he hung up.
when y/n pulled up the instagram and saw the most recent post, her eyes went wide.
holy shit
“DRAKE HAVOK WILL BE FIGHTING WITH VINNIE HACKER”
the picture was of her brothers face and some other guy who she assumed was vinnie and had a huge vs in the middle of them.
that must be what the whole hacker thing was about..
he looked familiar. she found herself staring at the picture, but not looking at drakes face, just vinnies. studying every inch of his pixelated face. his name sounded familiar too.
the picture was only posted six minutes ago, which explains why drake called.
he must be so excited
her phone buzzed with a new instagram dm.
when she saw who the message was from, her heart dropped. she connected the dots.
it’s him
she opened the dm to see that the man her brother was scheduled to fight, was the guy she was thirsting over earlier.
oh fuck.
her heart was racing as she read the message.
vinnie:
your brother will be dead by the time i’m done with him.
654 notes · View notes
shipperofdoomedships · 2 years ago
Text
Lena's accidental thirst tweet
Lena Luthor has a secret. One that she intended to keep to her grave. While she does have a Twitter account which is mostly used to promote new projects at L-Corp, she has a 2nd twitter account under a completely fake name and a heavily doctored photo so no one will know its her.
That account is for posting thirst tweets and generally fangirling over Supergirl with like minded others. She does know Kara is Supergirl which is one of the reasons for the fake account. She would be absolutely mortified of Kara ever found out about Lena's feelings/extreme thirst for her.
One cancelled movie night when Kara had to help Barry in Central City, Lena was a little past tipsy and scrolling through twitter absently. She saw a pic of Supergirl lifting a car to throw at a rampaging alien from a couple of weeks ago and her breath caught in her throat at the site of those Arms™ flexing. Immediately she retweets the picture with an added caption of "the feminine urge to get absolutely railed by Supergirl". Feeling drowsy from the wine she decides to plug in her phone and go to bed for the night.
The next morning after her alarm goes off Lena stretches and slowly starts to wake up. After a shower and cup of coffee fixed she sits down at the counter intending to check emails. When she unlocks her phone she sees over 300 notifications all from twitter. Frowning she clicks on the first one only to discover in horror that over 300 people have either like or retweeted her thirst tweet about Supergirl, but on her personal account.
Panicking she quickly looks for a way to delete the post but cant seem to find it. Panicking even more she quickly posts another tweet saying "someone please tell me how to delete a tweet!". Immediately all she gets is replies of laughing emojis followed by texts fron both Nia and Alex with laughing gifs followed by a text from Nia saying "just wait till Kara sees that 😘😏"
Lena feels like shes about to hyperventilate. Pacing around the kitchen she's just about to text Sam asking how to delete the tweet when she hears boots land on her balcony. Lena's heart drops to her toes and her face pales as Kara rounds the corner strolling into the kitchen with a bright smile and an almost mischievous twinkle in her eye. 'Well at least she doesnt look mad' thinks Lena as she struggles to find words to start apologizing. Kara however doesn't even give her a chance to speak before walking quickly up to Lena. In her panicky state Lena backs away until her back hits the wall. Kara stops less than an inch in front of her noses almost touching and cups her face whispering "all you had to do was ask" and leans in stopping just before their lips touch to give Lena the opportunity to say no. Lena's brain just gives up but intstinct kicks in and she closes the distance kissing Kara like its the last thing shes ever going to do. Breaking the kiss Kara smirks then promptly picks Lena up by her legs and wraps them around her own hips then holds her in place with her hands cupping Lena's ass. Lena gasps and before she even has time to process everything Kara is carrying Lena towards the bedroom saying "time to take care of that feminine urge"
The next morning they're cuddled in bed together when Lena wakes up and smiles looking at a sleeping Kara complete with major bedhead and the tiniest bit of drool. She slowly reachss for her phone and snaps a pic of them both making sure nothing is exposed. She sends it to Alex and Nia simultaneously with the caption "got my wish and got railed". Nia replies "go girl! Get it!" Followed by Alex replying "im murdering you next time i see you". Lena smiles then decides fuck work she's going to spend as much time cuddling with a naked Kara as she can.
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a03bkdk · 3 years ago
Text
no quirks bkdk fic rec list (p 2)
thirsty gay wingman fic by lalazee
((smut-14130-1/1))
Oct 11, 2019 "Thinkin abt besties-since-birth BkDk goin to college together, Dk begrudgingly bein Bkg's wingman w/chicks & lamenting his big gay crush. One nite, Bkg cant get laid, hes drunk in a shitty mood, so Dk propositions him, which turns into the best night ever & the WORST consequences."
My tweet got 366 likes & 66 reblogs, so that was more than enough reason to write about it.
romeo and romeo by supercrunch
((10473-1/1))
There’s a nasally howl from the neighbour’s place. Izuku looks up – it’s the very loud, very blond guy living in the unit opposite. They’re technically in separate blocks but their balconies are close enough they can see into each other’s living rooms. He’s dancing around in his pyjamas. Yodelling at the top of his lungs off-key, swinging his Pomeranian around by the armpits like a furry ragdoll. “You’re a dog! You’re a fluffy little yellow dog and you’re a pain in the ass but you’re still my favourite shit-stain, yeah!”
Izuku bursts out laughing. The neighbour’s head whips around. He yelps when he sees him, tossing the dog on the couch and scrambling out of view to hide in the hall.
Izuku drops the watering can and runs back inside to find his phone.Small Might: Guys. I've decided i have a crush on my neighbour.
(quarantine baking: a balcony romance)
mechanical bull by warschach
((smut-27573-1/1))
Katsuki has a track record of bad choices, it's a condition, but Izuku might be the one choice that's right.
battle of the bands by roadtripwithlucifer
((smut-168158-26/26))
'The rules are simple. Battle of the Bands. Local bands send in a single track to the radio station, and ten tracks are selected. Over the coming month, the songs play on the station and listeners vote on the top five. The top 5 play a live concert as part of a music festival, then the top 3 at a larger, indoor venue. The top two have the honor of opening on the first stop of All Might’s retirement tour – here. In Izuku’s home town. And finally, the winner gets the ultimate prize. Getting to spend the rest of the tour, forty cities, across the country as All Might’s opener. Three months. Same tour bus. Shoulder to shoulder with the greatest musicians the world has ever known.'Izuku Midoriya is a broke college student presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. But winning isn't gonna be easy, especially when one band's aggressive blonde frontman seems to be dead-set on making Izuku's life a living hell.
oh my god! they were roomates! by phatye
((smut-79108-57/57))
“Don’t go through my shit, and if there’s a tie on the door, then fuck off!” Katsuki growled. “...what?” he asked. Katsuki glared at him. “This is fucking college, and I plan on getting laid a lot! I don’t need some nerd cockblocking me! And what is with all the fucking toys here!” Katsuki had moved over to his shelves. “Are you a fucking child or something?!” This was not what he was expecting.
shades of blue by young_crone
((smut-22525-1/1))
Echoes filtered down the white hall as he descended the stairs toward the locker rooms, reverberating from the pool. A whistle, the sound of breaking water. He swiped the towel over his face, paused. The sliver of cerulean catching the sinking sun pouring through the skylights, the red and white lane buoys, the burn of chlorine.Izuku ran a hand through his curls, snagging on a knot. The clock on the wall reminded him how late it was. A minute wouldn't hurt. He worried his lip. Just a glimpse.
k-9 by warschach
((smut- 18304-1/1))
Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.
sucker punch by warschach
((smut-41551-1/1))
But, whatever, Disney Boy over there was—
Prettying up real damn good that Katsuki got kind of distracted—totally understandable, like god those CGI pine eyes—and didn’t see the straight path he made for the metal trash bin in the center of the area until he was tipping forward and waist deep in discarded bottles, plates, balled up tissues sticky with he prayed was chocolate ice cream and nacho cheese.
Mina howled behind the gate. “Look, Katsuki returned to his home.”
(or Katsuki works security at Six Flags and moonlights as a derby dude and continuously looks uncool around Izuku)
may I take your order, dipshit? by supercrunch
((6373-1/1))
So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.
(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.
A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )
raise me so high (your sins become my pedestal) by stardust_painter
((smut-10804-2/2))
After his boyfriend cheats on him, Izuku wants to do something stupid. The question is how stupid does he want to be.
The answer is very stupid apparently.
eye for an eye or whatever by tobiyos
((smut-4049-1/1))
“I’ll make it up to you!” Izuku says brightly, lifting his head from Katsuki’s lap.
Katsuki’s eyes narrow but he isn’t still pushing Izuku away so. Progress. “Fuck are you gonna do to make it up to me?”
“Hmm…” Izuku says quietly, tapping at his chin. “Oh! You’re still a virgin, right?”
Katsuki chokes on his own spit and promptly renews his efforts of pushing Izuku away by the forehead. “Fuck off,” he wheezes, “get out of my room.”
leap of faith by ladyofsnails
((28771-4/4))
Midoriya Izuku is just a random kid who loves art, analyzes everything, and is obsessed with the (in)famous hero Mighty Spider. He's got a loving mother, a great uncle, and maybe not too many friends that aren't those two but he's working on it.
And then a random cute boy shows up at his school, a spider bites him, he meets his hero under the worst possible conditions, and it all goes to hell. Now he's got villains on his tail, a promise to keep to a dead guy, and a washed-up hobo as his mentor.
Here goes nothing.
green is the warmest color by gloriousporpoise
((smut-12287-2/2))
“Woah, someone call the fire department,” Eijirou says, elbowing Katsuki squarely in the ribs. “That guy is smokin.’”
“I literally hate you.”
Here’s the thing, though. Eijirou’s a certified dumbass, but his current observation isn’t even a little bit wrong, much to Katsuki’s displeasure.
“Think you can get his number?”
Or, Bakugou is a painter without a muse.
you and i collide by ethereals
((smut-20442-9/9))
And not that Bakugou’s the type to sexualize a potentially dead body; especially one that he just accidentally murdered, but the man has some pretty solid DSL’s. He would hit it, with more than just his car.
OR
in which rich fratboy! bakugou is a badass who accidentally hits poor med student!izuku with his car and chaos ensues therefore.
97.6 FM by jamjars
((smut-32249-3/3))
Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.
Or Radio Host! Baugou x Listener! Midoriya
give me that sweet love by xsxuxgxax
((smut-32768-9/9))
Things Katsuki needs to excel at: be hot, be clever and pretend to be nice, let Izuku kiss him publicly, let Izuku fuck him privately…
(sugar baby katsuki and sugar daddy izuku pretty much)
dance with me by astralchaos
((30161-10/10))
Mina pulled up a video of a young man, seemingly teen, dancing to a popular new hit, and Izuku felt his heart drop to his stomach. His skin prickled and felt clammy as he started sweating nervously, not daring to move or make a noise. His eyes were glued to the screen but he didn’t see anything – his brain was too busy going into overdrive and freaking out.
Because Mina was showing him a video of himself. The one he uploaded last night.
How on Earth did she find this? He had barely a few thousand views, he wasn’t popular, and it’s not like he was even any good, especially compared to her or Kacchan–
“That move was sexy as hell,” Kacchan said, and that was when Izuku realized that his childhood friend – his longtime crush – also leaned in to watch the video Mina was showing him.
puppies puppies by Esselle
((15491-2/2))
"So after doing all that," Katsuki says, "you're just going to settle here? Tatting up wannabe bad boys?"
"You think all guys who have a lot of tattoos are wannabes?" Midoriya asks, so smoothly that it throws Katsuki.
"Wh—no, I mean—maybe!" Katsuki says. "You'd know best, wouldn't you? Are you a bad boy?"
The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it, and he regrets them immediately. There's a figurative list of things that one should never do, and probably high up on it is asking dark-haired sailors with ocean green eyes and black swirls of ink all across their barely concealed muscles if they are bad boys.
--
Katsuki thinks he has everything he needs in life: a successful pet shop, an occasionally reliable assistant, and the unconditional love of the twenty puppies he’s raising for adoption. But when the tattoo parlor next door hires Midoriya Izuku, a hot sailor with an affinity for dogs, it makes Katsuki wonder if he might need something more.
Like… a piece of that ass. Maybe. He’s figuring it the hell out as he goes.
im gonna make a part 3 later ergaegrggjnjuvuh
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