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bruhnze · 4 months ago

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Remember when i dressed up as a cop - Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Summary: kinda just plotless smut.. well a bit of plot, Ona thinks Lucy's new title is hot af.

Warnings: smut, roleplay, explicit language, minors DNI

Wordcount: 3k

Disclaimer: i don't know anything about doctors, so if this is very inaccurate i'm sorry xx.

Disclaimer 2: this is kinda cringe, atleast it was to write it so it better be enjoyed by atleast one of you!!!

Based on this request , hope it was a bit like you expected.

Remember when i dressed up as a cop.

It was just after the summer, after the busy start of the club seasons, Lucy and Ona had finally found a few days in which they could be together.

Ona had traveled to London and toured Lucy's house the night before but they had been too tired for anything else.

They had fallen asleep completely entangled, but when Ona woke up the bed was empty and she heard Lucy messing around in the kitchen.

Ona wanted to grab a large shirt to wear from Lucy's closet, when she was rummaging around looking for one that she always liked, she saw a framed object in the walk-in closet.

[Oh my god] Ona thought to herself when she saw what it was, the honorable doctorate that Lucy had received [fuck, she hadn't thought about it anymore after the day it had happened, she hadn't been able to go with Lucy that day, so appart from a Insta comment and some private texts there hadn't been much about it]

She chose a different shirt, a big plain white t-shirt and walked to the kitchen.

''Luccee?'' Ona asked in a sweet voice.

"Good morning baby, did you sleep well?" Lucy said as she stood in her boxers and sports bra making breakfast and putting it down on a tray.

''mhmm'' Ona said, looking at Lucy with a mischievous face.

''what? sorry I wasn't in bed, but I actually wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.'' Lucy turned around and looked apologetically at her girlfriend.

"Maybe I have a nice way for you to make it up," she said with a cheeky smile.

Only now did the Englishwoman realize what kind of mood Ona had woken up in, she herself had actually been ready to go last night, but she understanded that Ona had been tired from travelling so they had kept it at cuddling.

Lucy grinned and walked towards her, she put her hands under Ona's shirt and pulled her in for a kiss.

After a few seconds of kissing Ona pulled away "no wait''.

Lucy looked surprised ''oh, i thought you wanted''

''Oh yes, i do but I have an idea" Ona iinterupted her with blush creeping up her face ''if your up for it''.

''Im listening'' Lucy grinned.

''well'' ''uhm''

''you can say it babe, i wont laugh'' Lucy said as she looked at Ona encouragingly.

''remember when i dressed up as a cop?'' Ona started.

Lucy's smile and big eyes made Ona laugh ''well we're not going to do exactly that''

The taller woman pouted ''tease'' her eyes grew big again ''wait, you want me to be the cop?''.

Ona chuckled ''well no, the thing is.... you gained a new title recently that inspired me''.

Lucy couldn't immediately understand what One was after.

''I haven't been feeling so good lately'' Ona tried.

Lucy was still looking at her questioning, she felt stupid that she didn't get what Ona meant.

''might need some physical examination doc'' the Catalan wiggled her eyebrows.

''the doctorate?'' Lucy chuckled ''you know it's not like real doctor right?''.

''sshhh'' the shorter woman put her finger on Lucy's lips ''are you up for it or no?''.

''well most certainly, i have to make sure you are allright, that is my professional duty'' the Englishwoman said, immediately stepping into the role, afraid Ona would change her mind.

"Okay, I had an operation yesterday, as a doctor you are going to see how I am doing now, i will see you in a sec." Ona leaned to Lucy's ear ''and docs have clothes on by the way''.

Lucy grinned ''wow, you really thought about it'' ''wait what was the operation''.

Ona thought about it ''uhm i dont know, something minor''.

Lucy laughed ''didn't think it through that thoroughly after all''.

The smaller woman gave Lucy a stern look before heading towards the bedroom.

At the bed, Ona took off her panties and laid down in bed wearing only the large T-shirt.

It took a while for Lucy to come to the bed, when she did Ona looked at what she had put on.

She stood next to her in nice trousers and a white shirt with a large white blouse over it, she had a lanyard around her neck with a card with 'Lucy Bronze' on it, she also had a laptop and a measuring tape.

But the thing Ona liked most were the glasses sitting on Lucy´s face.

Lucy cleared her throat ''hello, miss. Batlle, im doctor Bronze, I did the operation and I am happy to say that it all went very well."

"oh that's good news doctor, you can call me Ona by the way"

''okay Ona, how did you sleep?''

''pretty good actually, the other patiënt in the room wasn't to much of a bother''.

''im glad'' Lucy said as she pretended to type something in her laptop ''mkay, we need to do some postoperative tests, do you think you're ready for that?''

''i'm so ready'' Ona teased with a smirk.

''Good, first some questions, on a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you experiencing right now?''

''uhm 0''

''did the nurse take you of the IV this morning or at night?''

''this morning, a second ago actually''

''understandable, don't forget to keep up with your painkillers now, you take them preventivally for the coming week, if your in pain you took it to late, don't lag behind the facts''

''yes doctor i will''

''good, have you peed yet?''

Ona chuckled ''yeah why?''

"Well, it's a mandatory question after the operation you have had, we need to know whether you experience any problems urinating after the operation."

''okay, uhm no, everything feels pretty okay down under''.

''good, we'll get to that later too''. ''okay, that were my questions, now some inspection, auscultation, percussion and palpation'' Lucy showed off her medical knowledge gained from her own injuries.

''Okay doc, i dont know what that is but i trust you'' Ona was secretly impressed but Lucy took the role a bit too serious for her liking, it was supposed to be a sexy roleplay, not an acting job. She took the covers off of her ''what do you need me to do?''.

''uhm, i need your to turn your back to me please miss. Batlle, uh Ona i mean''.

Ona shuffled in the bed and sat with her back to Lucy.

''oh'' doctor Bronze said ''i don't know what kind of gown they gave you, but this one doesn't have an open back, i need some space for my stethoscope''.

''uhm, i dont know, i woke up in this, i can take it of if that helps''

''that would help Ona, if you don't mind''.

Ona quickly took of the shirt, and sat up on her knees with her feet tucked under her butt, trying to make her behind look good for Lucy.

She felt a hand on her back ''very good Ona, it looks very good''. Lucy pretended to listen to Ona's heart ''heart sounds good and clear, you have a strong heart, your vitals were very good during the operation too, do you work out?''

''yes, i am a football player actually''.

''aha i see, very good, you won't be out of it very long, you can play again in a few weeks''

Ona turned around smiling ''thank you doctor''.

Lucy swallowed hard seeing her girlfriends chest, it felt different in this role, she almost felt like she was the doctor forreal and not her girlfriend. She blushed and looked away ''uhm, if you can step out of the bed we'll do some streching to test your mobility''.

''okay, can i put that gown back on?''

Lucy looked surprised and a bit dissapointed ''uh, yes ofcourse Ona''.

Ona stood up and put the shirt back on.

The English woman pretended to type some more on the laptop for the time it took Ona. ''good, first you have to try to make yourself as tall as possible, arms all the way up, if you feel any pain please tell me''.

Ona stretched, her T-shirt barely covering anything as her arms rose.

''good, if you don't mind i'm going to feel your hips, to check whether the joints are commensurate to each other''.

''okay''

Lucy put her hands on Ona's hips below her shirt, just like she had done earlier in the kitchen, only this time she was not kissing Ona, she wished she was kissing her right now, put she had to stay in her role for a bit longer. ''good that's all good, now please try and touch your toes if you can''.

''mhm, i can''.

''Okay Ona, i'll step behind you, take a look at your hamstrings allright?''

''yup'' Ona muttered while bending down, she cheekily pulled her shirt along so that her ass was completely exposed.

Lucy couldn't keep the low moan from coming out of her throat [damn] she thought [fuck i've missed this ass].

Lucy gently let her hands travel over her girlfriends ass.

The Spaniard smirked to herself, feeling the older woman appreciate her body, she wiggled her butt a little, trying to get more of a reaction.

Lucy spoke in a low voice ''fuck Ona'' her thumbs now grazing the line where Ona's butt conected to her thighs.

The taller woman kneeled down and kissed Ona´s hamstrings softly, she littered kisses all the way up to her butt.

Ona had trouble standing so long in the position she was in so she set a step forward and leaned on the bed.

Lucy stood back up and let her hands travel under the shirt that was already hitched up anyways, and felt Ona´s back muscles. ''your muscles are in great condition''.

Now the English woman was at Ona's shoulders making her front press against the Spaniards behind.

Ona stiffend [fuck did she really feel that] she wiggled a bit more to confirm her thoughts.

Lucy chuckled at Ona discovering the strap she had put on earlier.

Ona couldn't believe how long this was taking and almost regretted suggesting this, she missed having sex with Lucy and it had been way too long for her liking. And feeling the thing Lucy was wearing didn't help with that.

After a bit more feeling Ona up Lucy spoke again ''please lay on your back for me'' she said in a serious tone.

The Catalan listened hastily and quickly turned over, and now laid on her back, legs still over the bed.

''How do your groins feel?''

Ona blushed, she was a bit embarrassed to open up her legs knowing she was dripping wet.

''Ona?''

''uhm yeah, they feel fine''

Lucy chuckled ''can i take a look to confirm?''

''yeah'' Ona parted her legs slightly, only to be 'helped' by doctor Bronze, pulling them further apart.

The taller woman groaned as she let her thumbs glissade along Ona's inner thighs all the way up to her groins.

''okay looks good but i think were dealing with an unusual case here''

''unusual?''

''yeah, your lower region looks to be very .. uhm .. wet''.

Ona blushed ''Luce'' she said in a whiny voice as she pushed the woman away.

Lucy smirked ''doctor Bronze please, and if your up for it i would like to study this closer, i really haven't seen anything like it before, does this happen more often?''.

The Catalan rolled her eyes but thought about an answer ''uhm, well, i have never had a hot doctor''.

''oh''

''yeah''

''would you prefer another doctor?''

''uhm, no.. i think you can help me best''.

''okay, well, i'll need to study it a bit closer''

Ona nodded eagerly, her core was begging to be touched.

Lucy didn't waste time, she went straight for Ona's centre, lapping at the wetness that wass collected there ''fuck Ona i missed your taste so much''.

The shorter woman moaned, she couldn't even make a joke about how Lucy was supposed to be a doctor, instead she went for ''fuck doc, i missed you too''.

The English woman's head was bobbing frantically between Ona's legs, she took off her glasses for better access and laid them on the bedside table all while continuing to eat her girlfriend out, she had thought about this about a million times when they'd been apart so she wasn't about to waste a second of it.

''fuck'' Ona muttered as she gripped at Lucy's hair ''im so-

Lucy hummed and continued at the same pace, wanting her to come.

With a few more seconds Ona reached her climax, she dropped her head back on the mattress ''fuck i've missed you''.

After Lucy had cleaned her up she craweled over Ona, coming up to kiss her ''i've missed you too''

They shared a kiss, Ona loved tasting herself on Lucy's tongue, she had really missed this.

''em fas correr millor'' (you make me cum best).

Lucy laughed ''this was just a warm up baby''

''i know, but even that is wayy better than when i do it myself''

''do you now''

''what''

''know that this was just a preview''

Ona smirked ''yeah, i know what your capable of and i know what you're wearing''.

''i was just wearing that as an accessoire''.

''so you don't want to use it on me?''

''fuck'' Lucy gulped ''yeah i do''

''get undressed then''

Lucy laughed ''patient is not so patient it seems, might have to write that down''.

''Shut up, get naked and put those glasses back on''.

Lucy shot one eyebrow up, questioning Ona ''someone's got a thing for my glasses?''

Ona blushed ''yeah i just rediscovered it, totally forgot about those''.

The taller woman smirked as she stood up ''Well then I'll put them on for you, and you take of that shirt please, where did you even get that?''.

''in your closet, well i first wanted to take another shirt but then i saw that doctorate and then i thought about you as a doctor'' Ona stopped talking, looking at her girlfriend undress.

''And now we're here'' Lucy finished for her laughingly.

''you're not complaining are you?''

''no, not at all, anything but''

''good''

''still need you to take it of tho''

Ona stood up from the bed, facing the now naked Lucy, who was only wearing her strap and glasses now. ''you take it off''.

''because you ask so nicely'' Lucy joked as she slowly took Ona shirt off ''you just want me touching you'' she concluded as she felt Ona shiver below her touch.

Ona chuckled ''well you certainly have the brains to be a doctor''.

''how bold we are today, might wanna shut up before I bend you over that bed again''.

The Catalan blushed "Well, if it's doctor's orders."

Lucy gulped ''yeah it is''. Ona didn't even wait for Lucy to say that but turned around for the bed, she didn't lean on the bed like earlier, instead she kneeled on the bed and arched her back.

´´fuck, you know you look good huh´´

Ona didn´t reply, she only pushed herself more towards Lucy.

Lucy slowly rubbed the strap along Ona´s wet slit. ´´teasing me with all those pictures´´ when she had gathered enough wetness on the fake cock she lined up with Ona´s enterance ´´posting all those thirsttraps on Insta´´ she kneeded the flesh of Ona´s butt ´´you know you make me crazy´´.

´´fuck Lucy please´´ Ona pleaded as she tried to wiggle backwards, only to be restricted by Lucy´s hands.

Lucy chuckled ´´yeah what do you want´´.

´´fuck me luce´´

´´who´´

Ona gulped ´´fuck me doctor´´. ´´please´´.

´´that´s right´´ Lucy groaned as she slowly pushed inside.

The Catalan dropped her head on her forearms, finally feeling Lucy inside her, something she had been thinking, and even dreaming, about for weeks.

Lucy slapped Ona´s ass, the loud sound filled the room. Ona arched even more, Lucy knew her girlfriend liked it a little rough.

As she came to a steady pace, positioning herself so that she hit all Ona´s spots just like she knew made her feel good, she reached out for Ona´s neck.

Lucy gripped her neck thightly with her hand, the other one still on the shorter womans hip.

Ona moaned as she began to shake on her knees ´´i cant, i´m-

''You can cum baby, come for me'' Lucy cooed as while she picked up Ona so that she didn't fall.

Sounds muffled by the mattress left Ona's throat as she came undone.

Lucy slowly dropped her on the bed and gently pulled out, leaving a couple of kisses on Ona's back.

When Ona kept laying like that, in a position that couldn't possiblely look comfortable, as Lucy thought, she carefully put Ona on her back and scooted her over to the middle of the bed.

''you good?'' Lucy chuckled.

''fuck Lucy, so good''.

''i love you''

''i love you too''.

''we can we can live out all your fantasies today'' Lucy said as she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend.

Ona smiled ''do you know why i didn't like you saying miss. Batlle''

Lucy frowned ''what''

''when you were the doctor, i said you had to call me Ona''

''yeah''

''because i'd prefer another last name''.

---

THE END :)

#lucy bronze smut #woso smut #lucy bronze #woso fanfics #lucy bronze x ona batlle #ona batlle smut #lucy bronze x reader #woso imagine #woso #ona batlle

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sweetmoons · 7 months ago

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Appreciating Quackity's hard work and hoping him the best AND realizing he fucked up big time can mutually exist. Now to address some talking points

"He had his p*do brother working on the project":

This is literally all speculation and one of the past admins even said they don't think it's him. Quackity states it isn't true but says he can't speak further on the subject since its being handled with the proper authorities likely meaning the person involved in this that is a groomer has had the police contacted on them and it's now become a legal case. He can't show you proof without compromising the case and potentially putting more individuals in danger.

"Hes a big creator he should get over the doxing":

You are bat shit insane if you think this. Quackity currently lives in America a place notoriously known for deadly police force ESPECIALLY against people of color and immigrants. If he were to get swated the likelihood of him getting injured is much higher than that of a White American getting swatted which may I just say is already super high. People die during police raids very often in America.

"Fuck [the admin who first made a statement] this is all her fault"

Listen to yourself for 5 seconds you absolute bumbling idiot. Do you really think that will help this situation? She and the other admins have every right to speak out about their past experiences and hold Quackity accountable for his mistakes. I'm not even gonna say her name because of the amount of negative attention she's already getting from Twitter and I dont want people with poor intentions to seek her out. The issue comes from the mistake of leaking his information which people then weaponized against him which was NOT her intention.

"Quackity is sending his fans to harras the past admins"

You are also a fucking dumbass if you think after him speaking about the dangers of doxing and death threats he is trying to get people to dox and send death threats to the past admins. I do agree he should've made a statement asking people not to harras the past admins at the beginning of this stream. But this is different then him directly saying her name or replying directly to the tweet like some other creators have done in the past .

Conclusion: No one here is perfect. Believe it or not people make mistakes and what matters is the willingness to change and take accountability. This isn't the end of the god damn world this is a learning experience for everyone involved and an opportunity to do better in the future and in Quackitys case to mend his past mistakes. Now if it turns out that Quackity was facilitating a groomer with full knowledge of what they were doing then this situation becomes infinitely worse and should be handled accordingly, but really the only proof right now is word of mouth and some admins saying it is that person and others saying it isn't so immediately assuming that what was said on Twitter is true isn't the wisest idea.

#qsmp #quackity #discourse

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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 1 year ago

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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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monstersandgirls-webcomic · 1 month ago

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feel free to ignore this question if you so wish but i gotta ask:

is there anything you regret making/implementing into this specific comic line that you are aware of looking back? if so, why?

different question if you dont wanna answer that, what would Lili's and Sera's favorite pie be?

A couple things

I SHOULD’VE MADE POWERS AN AGGRESSIVE DICKHEAD LONGER AUGHHHHH. I just got really excited with a comic idea and couldn’t wait a year to reveal that she’s a demon. Shes still an asshole but since she’s not mean to Sera and Lili it makes the dunks on her a little difficult to write since I don’t want it to feel like bullying her, hence why Prince’s issues with her is addressing her past behavior

I don’t entirely regret it because I can explore some ideas but I do wish I held off on getting Sera and Lili married. My interactions were falling off at the time and back then, I just viewed this series as a hobby and a way to make money so I could work on Bugtopia so I thought “oh I’m sure I won’t regret this latter” I did. I did regret it later

I do regret making Violet and Lucy wives and I may just quietly retcon it

I wish I didn’t introduce Scylla as some crazy bodyguard because I actually prefer her being a grump her takes her job seriously. I think I have too many violent girls with anger issues

Prince’s design is something I’m really conflicted on. I was split between making them really skinny or giving them those big strong horse thighs and you can see which one over, but after the constant weird comments about being called a “Gooner artist” I did second guess some of my design decisions

I wish I didn’t make Mara a succubus 💀, in fact I do kind of wish I didn’t have so many succubus characters but they’re also fun to draw

Those damn comics where Luvart talked about fucking Powers because I don’t like making their rivalry explicitly sexual

I’m actually not crazy about Domino’s design but when I tried to redesign him I realize people would complain if I made him super different

I wish I didn’t make Lili’s mom a hellhound but I’m stuck with it now lol

Lili’s favorite pie would be apple and Sera can’t taste food

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bytedykes · 1 year ago

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one thing i noticed (and loved!!!!) in nimona is the different eye-shine shapes. specifically the way they changed as the story progressed, specifically focusing on ballister and ambrosius

[ID: screenshots of Ambrosius and Ballister speaking. They both have a similarly shaped, rhomboid, square diamond eye shine. /end ID]

in this first scene their eyeshines are a very similar square diamond shape. they still share it right after the part where ambrosius cuts ballister's arm off

[ID: screenshots of the two of them looking at each other, both still with a matching eyeshine shape. /end ID]

however immediately after, when ballister falls through the hole in the platform we get a brief shot of his face:

[ID: slightly blurry closeup of Ballister's face. His eye shines now seem more square. /end ID]

later we see ballister creating his new arm, and immediately after when nimona knocks on the door we see his eyes again, and the shines are completely square. not really any ambiguity to it, the tilt of them is entirely gone

[ID: closeup of Ballister's face, the eyeshines now square with the flat edge on the bottom. /end ID]

ballister isnt super consistent with this, but from here on his eyeshines remain mostly square. there are a few moments when they tilt again to resemble how they were in the first scene, eg. when he's telling nimona he's not a villain, and when she reminds him that ambrosius cut off his arm and he tells her its complicated, as well as more later that i wont get into now

[ID: screenshots of the above mentioned scenes, in both Ballister's eyeshines have a more oblong rhomboid vertically-oriented shape. /end ID]

BUT!!! a bit later, when he and nimona bump into ambrosius as they're breaking out of the castle,

[ID: screenshots of Ambrosius and Ballister looking at each other, both again with diamond shaped eyeshines. /end ID]

wow look at that they match again! ballister's are a bit more square and ambrosius's are more elongated, but again they have a very similar shape! however immediately after...

[ID: closeups of Ballister's face. In the first his eyeshines are square, in the second they are more diamond shaped. /end ID]

the first screenshot here is when he says "did you see the way he looked at me?" to nimona. the second is right after he says "he really thinks I killed the queen." by this point you probably can tell where i'm going with this post

also this is the part where i just now noticed nimona's upper earring on her left ear is a star hoop :) very neat

nimona snaps ballister out of his daze (square again), makes him promise he wont freak out (still square) and then he rides off on rhino-nimona (square). when he sees and almost runs over ambrosius in the hallway, the brief seconds he's looking at him, his eyeshines tilt again into a diamond. no screenshot of this one because it's hard to get the timing right on motion shots

when ballister wakes up back at the lair they're square again

[ID: screenshot of Bal in the lair, his eyeshines square. /end ID]

when he's looking at the photo wall (at ambrosius's photo specifically) i expected them to become diamonds again, but here they stay square! i am quickly realizing this post is mostly an excuse to stare closely at ballister's big baby seal eyes

[ID: screenshot of Ambrosius's photo, where his eyeshines are upright triangles. /end ID]

in the photo ambrosius's eyeshines are triangles which isn't a shape we've seen on him before. i dont think this really means anything though its just neat

skipping to the part where ambrosius says he'll be the one to hunt down ballister, his eyeshines are triangular here too, in person this time

[ID: closeup of Ambrosius's face. His eyeshines are triangular. /end ID]

during his declaration to "find ballister, and bring him to me" however his eyeshines are briefly diamond shaped again

[ID: Ambrosius looking down in sadness or resignation, with diamond eyeshines. /end ID]

back to bal. in the subway, both nimona's version of ballister and the real ballister have square eyeshines.

[ID: Nimona-as-Ballister with a pathetic expression, and the real Ballister with a disapproving one. Both have square eyeshines. /end ID]

in the next scene where the knights are looking at the subway footage, ambrosius's eyeshine shape has changed again:

[ID: closeups of Ambrosius's face. He has oblong reverse triangle eyeshines. /end ID]

they are now long triangles. my eyesight isnt awesome so the first time i watched this part i thought they were hearts :) but theyre triangles

i dont have it in me to rewatch the entire movie for this post so skipping to way later when ballister is trying to convince ambrosius the director is the one behind the queen's murder. the lines said are important here too

[ID: Ambrosius's face right before Ballister pulls out the phone with the video proof. Second image is Ballister's face after the phone is shot from his hand. Ambrosius has diamond eyeshines and Bal has square ones. /end ID]

the line bal is saying in that screenshot is "it doesn't matter. you shouldn't need proof. you know i'm not a murderer." then:

[ID: Ambrosius is pointing a sword at Ballister. Ballister's eyeshines are square, Ambrosius's are hard to see but resemble diamonds. /end ID]

AND THEN:

[ID: Ambrosius looking up at Nimona when she shoots into the air. His eyeshines are triangles. /end ID]

during their nacho meetup at the [checks notes] tavern? bar? nacho place? whatever. their eyeshines are square and triangle respectively

[ID: three consecutive shots of their conversation. Ballister has square eyeshines; then Ambrosius has triangular eyeshines; the last picture is of Ambrosius putting his hand over Ballister's prosthetic one. /end ID]

their shapes remain this way for a while until a key moment where ballister looks at nimona's rampage and realizes he fucked up BAD

[ID: closeup of Ballister's face, with distinctly diamond eyeshines. Behind him a fire rages. /end ID]

it's not clear in the screenshot but the fire in the background is ALSO diamond shaped which probably means nothing but again, is pretty neat

and then yeah basically from there their eyeshines stay the same shape to the end of the movie including the epilogue. i cant add any more images to this post though so i will have to stop here!!! just take my word for it. their (i say their but i really mean ballister's, because ambrosius doesn't get any more good eye shots after the beginning of the epilogue) stay their respective shape until the very end

"wow, nik, this post was beyond pointless" you might be thinking and yeah maybe!!! this may be all coincidence and i may be looking for things that are not even remotely there!!! but guess what i sat here for over an hour taking screenshots and putting this post together so by god i WILL see it to its end

my idea is that the changing eyeshine shapes represent their paths splitting and then coming back together again. at the beginning they have the same eyeshine shape; they're together, they understand each other, they think the same way. (this is a good time for me to note that the director's eyeshine shape is also a vertically oriented rhombus.)

then the betrayal happens. ballister kills the queen, ambrosius cuts of ballister's arm. they still have the same eyeshine shape here; but then ballister falls and ambrosius doesn't fall with him. this is where they separate - this is the betrayal

after making himself a prosthetic ballister's eyeshines are a different shape, more clearly now. he is apart from ambrosius, they're no longer a unit. however his eyeshines still appear as diamonds occasionally, namely in moments where he's with or thinking about ambrosius (or the institute, im mainly thinking of the "im not a villain" line when he's thinking i'm still a knight, i'm still good)

ambrosius's eyeshines are still the same diamond-like shape. when he and ballister see each other again they briefly share a shape again. it's not as similar anymore, and they're not the same as they were. there's still this rift of betrayal between them. but in that moment they're having, well, a moment

in the closet when he's thinking of ambrosius's betrayal (did you see the way he looked at me?) his eyeshines change between square and diamond

then cut to ambrosius, who's eyeshines are also a different shape now: when he's formalizing his betrayal to he and ballister's relationship, officially declaring that he will be the one to hunt him down. but there's a moment where his armor is being put on where he looks down with guilt and diamond shaped eyeshines

i dont even want to talk about the subway footage part because i still keep mistaking the long triangles for hearts which is killing me. killing me DEAD. if his eyeshines were really hearts when he was saying things like "something doesn't feel right, he hates freestyle jazz" i think i'd just explode or something. moving on

during the confrontation at the institute, before ballister tries to pull out the phone and is telling ambrosius he has proof, ambrosius's eyeshines are diamonds! just like in the beginning! i think here it's more representative of how he wants to believe ballister, despite the director whispering in his ear not to, how he badly wants for all of this to be a misunderstanding and for proof that ballister didn't betray the institute, didn't betray him. he doesn't want to lose his best friend (and more)

but ballister's eyeshines are square here- like he says a few seconds later, "you shouldn't need proof." he's being betrayed again, ambrosius doesn't believe in him after all. but even when pointing a sword at ballister he looks at him with diamond eyeshines. when nimona begins doing her thing his eyeshines are triangles again, like he and ballister are fully diverging paths again

you get the idea. their eyeshines are representing of their emotions about, and relationship with each other. so then why don't they go back to the diamond shape at the end of the movie? why are their eyeshines different even when it's clear that they've made up, they're happy now, things are different?

well i DO have an explanation for this. things are different now! they're no longer under the thumb of the institute (is this a good time to mention again that the director's eyeshines are also diamonds), a section of the wall is down, the kingdom is different! it's changing!

and so have they! the way i'm choosing to read into this, is that they're not the same people as they were at the beginning of the movie. they're not both brainwashed into thinking the same way, having the same ideology where cutting off your boyfriend's arm instead of disarming him isn't only justifiable, it's what's expected. now they're their own people, who aren't under constant pressure of a legacy or an institute. they've grown! and now it's okay that they don't think the exact same, because they love each other, and are now capable of loving each other like this

tldr this movie is great i love it here :)

obviously this might all just be a coincidence and im just overthinking it lol but whatever i spent this long reading into it i might as well hit post

edit: people have mentioned that ND retweeted stuff relating to this so it IS intentional! yayy i love being right

also for the love of god do not add undescribed images to this post. it takes like two seconds to describe a screenshot just use the same formula ive used for every single image here. please i can't keep doing this

#nimona #nimona spoilers #nimona 2023 #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona meta #i think?? does this count as meta #oh yeah read my fucking post boy #goldenheart

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starr666 · 4 months ago

Text

Cw: submissive!idia shroud x fem!dom!camgirl, whip usage, slight embarrassment kink?,

Minors dni

By scrolling past the line below, you are consenting to seeing nsfw content

————————————————-

Fem dom cam girl reader x Idia Shroud

He lost the bet— Idia Shroud, Gloomurai— the forever anxious, introverted, gamer boy, who’s only stroke of confidence comes from his smarts or his expertise in the world of gaming— had lost the bet to her. His best (and only) friend had beaten him at a new fighting game that came out, loser had to do whatever the winner says…and who knew that it would lead to his best friend having him laying on her luxurious bed with nothing but a cover over his shivering body and high quality cameras covering the different spots in the room, y’know, for perspective. While she stood at the edge of the bed, body adorned in black lingerie, royal blue bows accenting the corset-like middle, and fishnets her curves more defined than ever. She looked down at Idia with rope and a leather whip in one hand, gently swiping it across the other gloved hand and some rope tucked under her arm. An assortment of dildos that were compatible with her strap’s harness.

“A loser’s debt is quite deep, isn’t it, Gloomurai~? Now be a dear and wave to that camera for me, hm?”

The blue haired man attempted to further hide himself under the cover to hide the ends of his hair turning a bright pink, but as soon as his arm was up, she briskly made work of him with the rope, arms behind his back in a beautiful style. She pressed down onto his back and he immediately knew that meant for him to have his ass up for her and the cameras to see, and the next thing he feels is the whip making contact with his ass.

crack

“Since you dont know how to follow directions, you won’t be able to touch me through this whole process…now, go on, look at that camera riiight in front of you and tell them why you’re in this predicament.”

His head lifts to look at the camera that showed his face and he is already struggling to stop himself from drooling from the first hit

“I-I- l-lost tHe bet—” he stuttered out, his voice slightly cracking from the pressure

CRACK

“Louder, less stuttering.”

“A-ah~, yes ma’am— I lost the gaming bet to you.”

“And what does that mean for you?” her tone dropped, the words almost coming out in a hush but still loud enough for the microphones to pick up on

“That I…have to join your cam show for the day-“

“Good boy~.”her gloved fingers were already covered with lube and she wasted no time pressing her middle and ring finger into his ass, already meeting his prostate and feeling him clench in pleasure.

“Oh you poor thing, have you been anticipating such an opportunity with me? You’re already clenching around me~”

“Mm~N-no- ma’am.“

slap

“Are you sure? Because mistress doesn’t like liars” her other hand was wrapped around his throat, the statement was growled into his ear

“O-okay…m-maybe a little bit…”

another slap to his ass was made and he let out a screechy moan

“Cut the shit, you’re my biggest donor, aren’t you~”

his hair turned completely pink as he realized that she knew from the beginning…but he didn’t find much time to bask in such a thought after she added another two fingers, which were essentially sucked in by his needy hole

“Tsk…tsk…tsk, what a pathetic slut. Might as well make it worth your while, top donor~”

He tried to keep it quiet but the microphones still picked up on his gulp and whine that followed shortly after he no longer felt the fingers in his ass. Before he gets the chance to ask what happened, he groans as he feels a sudden fullness take over him

“Ohmygoditssofuckingbig” he whispered under his breath

“Oh…you think that’s big darling? This is just from my starter pack…I’m going to fuck you until you can truly call me your top donor~”

A/N: hehehe, get it, like a top who is also a sperm donor-

#idia smut #idia shroud #idia shroud smut #twst smut #idia twst #twst idia

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personasintro · 2 months ago

Note

i know mentioming kiko triggers most of the readers but i think yall should grow tf up like shes my roman empire and i think about her a lot u know 😔😔 when this chapter, where she told jungkook the truth, came out i hated her just like others and i was like "shes so evil like how can she do this to jungkook". but as time passed i just realized that shes the realest character because if i were in the same situation i might have done the same thing(?) Like i dont know exactly what id do but because of fear i couldve done the same so i cant really judge her. like we all know having a child is a big responsibility and she was scared and of course she wasnt ready for this and obviously its her body and her choice and she did whatever she thought was good for her. I think throwing a mud at her and criticising her is too much because she suffered enough already and i truly dont understand why do yall hate this woman so much?? I mean yeah she shouldve told jungkook everything because jungkook really deserved to know and we all knkw he would understand her and her choice but she was scared and not ready. Like we cant even imagine the pain she was going through because as i mentioned before having a kid is a big responsibility and she was the one who had to carry the baby for 9 months and give birth and everything and she was not ready. like yeah jungkook would be on her side but so what?? his support would be a great help but mothers still have to go through pain, fear, uncertainty and so many emotions and i think men would never get this (im sorry, i know jungkooks an amazing man but he still wouldnt get it okay???) and i trully feel sorry for her and of course the way she handled the situation was so wrong and i do not support her for that, for example, for lying to jungkook, breaking up with him without telling him everything, then lying to him that she cheated 😭😭like she was so stupid for that and she made him suffer so much like imagine u told him u cheated on him and he still wanted to give u a second chance,even though he was in so much pain??? like i understand him and yes he deserved to know everything and she was so wrong for getting back to him and still makkng him believe she cheated but I feel so sorry for both of them and i really understand kiko and her fears and im her apologist because everyone makes mistakes and obviously she wasnt a perfect person. I hope she will be happy in the future because she dont deserve all this pain.

thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! we've had quite a lot conversations about her character and to be honest, she might be one of my favorite characters i've ever written. not because I love her or anything, but because she's so interesting to me. and i've said this before many times, but i guess people perceive things differently based on the point of view which is completely understandable – if the story was about them, kiko being y/n – some opinions and reactions might've been different. i do believe there would be many opinions of what she did and it being not right, but i guess readers would show more mercy with the way of how they talk about her character or they would definitely not use so many curse words ahaaha

#ask #ask: mutual help

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autismcatboy · 2 months ago

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i hear the sunspot is a story about being human first, disabled second and a bl third. it doesnt flow like a bl and has very brief moments of romance because its not intended to be read/watched a romance.

the mangaka did not write it as a BL because she herself wasnt even familiar with it as a genre until after she started publishing. she was writing a story that just happens to also feature queer romance.

the live drama is not going to end with them getting together. its an adaption of just one series within the story and even at the most current series, they only barely got together.

the story is not unrealistic in how it handles communication (or lack thereof). its a lot easier to judge characters (and people in real life) when you think you have all the pieces, but the reality is we know very little about how others truly feel and when you have a lot going on and pulling you in different directions, its hard to know it yourself.

continued below the cut, spoiler free.

taichi and kohei are busy adults. between work/school, family and personal health, they dont have a lot of free time. many people dont have ways to contact friends they made in school because usually, you just see each other and dont think about exchanging contact information until later.

exchanging contact information is a bigger step to take in japan compared to places like the us. taichi uses a flip phone until hes pushed to get a smartphone after it breaks. data plans are expensive and many are selective about when and how they use them, and chatting apps like line are usually the main form of communication method. many people in the us dont like to give out their number or social media (which is also a feature of line) to people they know, like coworkers or classmates.

theres some pretty big assumptions about japanese culture and what its like to be a young adult by fans watching the drama that, in my opinion, just arent realistic. you're thinking like a bl fan and not like what people actually do in real life.

i hear the sunspot is a story about navigating the awkward, the hardships, fumbling and coming to terms with the things we may not like about ourselves. this isnt just about being disabled. able bodied, fully healthy people have things they dont like, push off and ignore. we see this in taichi, and how he continues to push that hes happy, nothing is wrong, he's just a big goofball and doesn't have anything below the surface and a lot of you have fallen for it.

relationships rarely go "we met, we fell in love, and now we are together and everything is perfect with only mild and entertaining drama." in fact id say they almost never do. people get scared to get close to other people, people dont think about if their feelings are romantic love or not when theyve never considered they might be gay. people get busy and distract themselves from addressing the things theyre not ready to look at and understand. all of these things happen much more often and often subconsciously, too.

people are mean and bullheaded when they feel like their comfort zone is threatened. people *run* when they feel like their status quo might change and they dont know what that will look like.

its easy to say someone is being ridiculous when you dont have their full story or dont stop to consider their circumstances. will it be different from how you'd react? absolutely. you lived a different life and had different experiences shape who you are.

but its equally as ridiculous to assume you know exactly how you'd react better than someone in their situation. no one is perfect, and definitely not 20 something year olds figuring out how to be adults after tough moments completely changed their childhoods. your early 20s, especially, is about thinking youre an adult and realizing just how little you know about adulthood. its easy to look back on when i was taichi and kohei's ages and say "oh there is a /lot/ that i fucked up with and couldve done better".

i hear the sunspot is about being human. the mistakes, the drama, the pain and the laughter. it happens to also have a gay love story but its not written to *be* a gay love story or even to be any love story in the first place.

if youre not willing to wait, and consider all the troubles that come before and during their relationship, this is not the story for you. save yourself the time, its got a long way to go. maybe come back in a few more years and see if the story resonates differently.

theyre not going to dive right into a relationship when they still barely know themselves.

#i hear the sunspot #hidamari ga kikoeru #catboy speaks #long post #ok to reblog

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gyubaseone · 2 years ago

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han yujin. intertwined

❛ no matter what, i'll be here for you ❜

pairings — han yujin x f!reader

genre — fluff, childhood friends to lovers

synopsis — highschool can be quite hectic but for these two, nothing could get in the way of their feelings.

warnings — none! third person pov, lowercase intended, not proof read thoroughly.

word count — 2,143

notes — i'm so sorry to pull the f!reader once again, i'm still getting used to writing with gn pronouns since i dont usually do imagines.. but i hope this was okay ! thank you for all the love on my gyuvin fic <3

★ ( please fill out this form to be on my taglist ) ❕

starting high school was hard, especially as someone who is perceived as quiet. but it was easier for y/n knowing that she had her childhood best friend, han yujin, by her side.

they had been friends since diapers basically, their families being close friends for years. every big life event, they went through it together. all the times y/n cried, he was there for her even if he never truly knew how to comfort her. he was always the bestest friend someone could ask for.

so why was there this envious feeling that pitted in y/n's stomach when he started getting caught up in school events and gaining more friends than her when they entered highschool?

she should be happy that he's fitting in, he deserved all the attention he got. han yujin was one of the most liked students in the grade. with his popularity, soccer and dance skills, and — of course his good looks ; who wouldn't want to be his friend?

but that envious feeling kept on coming back whenever he had to skip out on eating lunch with her because "the soccer team is going out to eat" or whenever he told her to go walk home alone since "his friends wanted to hang out".

she was happy for him, but the idea of him slowly slipping away from her grasp made her heart ache. because the truth was, y/n had a crush on yujin. she had been having those feelings for a while now, maybe before she even realized it.

he was always there to cheer her up and gradually became one of the only things she enjoyed about going to school. whenever he took her to buy snacks, when they played games together, when they went to the park together, and his smile. especially his smile.

y/n sat down in the library since she hadn't fully adjusted to being in the cafeteria. sure, she had made some friends — but she wouldn't call them her close friends. even so, she hated loud noises and the cafeteria was filled with them.

just about now, she expected that yujin would enter the room to tell her about any plans his soccer team had made up to get him off campus for the period which left her all by herself.

as she took a bite out of her triangle gimbap, looking up from her notebook — there he was. the dark-brown haired boy who had been able to swoon her without even knowing it, walking through the doors in a black t-shirt since he most likely just got out of gym.

"y/n!" yujin called out, waving his hand in the air as he jogged over to her, "sorry i'm late, the showers kept being hogged. i didn't want to stink up the library, y'know."

"uhm, i think i know?" y/n questioned her answer, she knew absolutely nothing about sports. "wait, so you're actually going to eat lunch with me today? surprised you don't have anything going on, you've been so popular recently."

"what can i say? i'm quite the catch," yujin shrugged his shoulders with such a smug look on his face, "and i cleared everything! i feel like i haven't seen you in forever, i missed you."

he missed her. han yujin missed her. why was she freaking out on the inside? it's not like they haven't had a conversation before. but it felt different, like his tone had changed from the last time they had spoken. "cool," was all y/n could mutter as she tried to cover her rosy-tinted cheeks with her lunch.

but just as y/n was lost in her own world, yujin had gotten a message on his phone. here it goes. "oh my gosh... y/n, i—" he attempted to speak up before y/n shut him down, already knowing what he was going to say.

"go, it's okay," y/n assured even though her heart was breaking little by little. he had friends, other friends than her. it's not like he could spend all his time with her, it was ridiculous. but why was there this feeling inside her that wished he did?

"i'm so sorry, gyuvin hyung broke his leg and now we have to go over the plays again before the game," yujin explained, getting up while stuffing his phone into his pocket, "you'll be at the game on saturday, right?"

"well, i have nothing else to do," y/n slightly smiled, attempting to relax her back from all the tension she felt, "i'll be there for sure."

"great, i'll see you later!" yujin waved at her as he started walking away before he slowly disappeared into the hallways.

y/n was more used to it now, and she would probably have to accept it at one point. yujin was moving on with his life, experiencing new things. high school is meant for new experiences and it seemed like yujin was going through many things.

what she didn't expect to see? him and one of the cheerleaders hitting it off after he scored the winning goal during the soccer game. oh, how she wanted to shout his name after seeing the way he rebounded the ball and got the last goal ; but then she saw him with her.

she never really tried to learn the names of the people surrounding her, another flaw y/n had. all y/n knew was that yujin was hugging her and that she was jealous? envious? oh, same thing.

and from that day on, y/n would attempt to distance herself from yujin as much as she could. it wasn't like he would notice right? he had all his soccer friends and that girl he hugged. can she give up on the girl already?

it's not like yujin was her property, he was his own person. maybe in a way, to let him flourish ; she had to find her own path without him. maybe, this was just her way of masking her feelings for him in a way where she wouldn't have to get hurt.

one thing y/n didn't think about was how yujin would react to this. all this time, she was in her own world overthinking every single little thing. her bestfriend, who knows her and could read her like a book, was upset to say the least.

he thought she was acting weird at first, but didn't think anything of it until it constantly kept happening. all she would do is greet him and suddenly walk off without saying anything else. it was unlike y/n, she would always be the brightest girl whenever he was around.

it was one of the things he liked most about her, her smile. the way her eyes became cresents like the moon whenever she smiled, her lips curving up and the way her nose scrunched up in the most beautiful way.

maybe there were many things he liked about her. yujin could probably go on a tangent about everything he liked about y/n, the reason he smiled so brightly. it was her. so there was no way it was all in his head that they could've possibly had a spark there, right?

so when yujin found the girl asleep in one of the classrooms after failing to study for her biology exam ; he knew what he had to do.

oh how yujin slowly regretted his decision. he didn't want to wake her up, seeing how peaceful and pretty she was when she slept even if she was drooling all over her textbook.

but he knew if he didn't do it now, he would probably be even more distanced from you and he did not want that one bit. so he did what he dreaded doing and woke up y/n from her nap.

"y/n... psst— wake up," he whispered softly, poking her shoulder in an attempt to wake her up but nothing, "there's free food in the cafeteria!"

"huh? free food?" y/n suddenly jolted awake, looking around the room in a daze before her eyes landed back on yujin, "oh... it was a lie, wasn't it?"

"yeah, i knew that would wake you up though," yujin let out a laugh, sitting down in the chair next to y/n, "i'll get you something after school, i just need to talk to you for a bit."

god, there was that smile again. the smile that could make all the problems in the world disappear. why did he have to be the one with it?

"yeah uh— what did you want to talk about?" y/n snapped out of her thoughts, shaking her head slightly before fixing up her hair, "is it important?"

"you could say that..." yujin fiddled with his fingers for a moment, hesitating for a moment, "i just.. i feel like we haven't talked in a while, is everything okay with you?"

"yeah... everything is fine," y/n nodded her head in assurance. no everything was not fine. but she couldn't say anything about him hugging a girl, that would just be crazy. "i've just been a little busy, that's all."

"are you sure?" yujin questioned once again, "i feel like i barely see you now, i missed you and talking to you.." gosh, there it was again. he always knew the words to say.

"yeah, i'm sure... everything is fine," y/n repeated once more, giving yujin a smile that made him feel fuzzy on the inside. she watched his shoulders suddenly become tense before speaking up, "is there something else you wanted to talk to me about?"

"gosh, am i really going to do this now..." yujin looked to the side, taking a deep breath before searching for something in his pockets. "can you close your eyes for me?"

y/n looked at him confused before closing her eyes, feeling yujin's touch on her hand as he pulled it out and opened it up. right after, he placed something on her palm. "alright, you can open your eyes now."

this wasn't real right? this moment was just a figment of y/n's imagination. because why was yujin's nametag in her hand at this moment? she truely thought she was hallucinating, staring at the nametag with 한유진 embroidered on it.

"when we went to get our uniforms fitted, i had an extra nametag made.." yujin spoke in a shy tone, "and i just decided to... give it to you."

"so what does this mean?" y/n asked, wanting clarification for the sudden gift, "do you...?"

"oh so you're going to make me say it? the nametag was supposed to say it for me," yujin joked, hearing y/n's laugh that he loved so much, "fine, y/n... i like you, like a lot."

"that's better, i guess i like you too," y/n grinned, glancing at the sour look on yujin's face when she spoke, "i'm kidding! i like you a lot... and your smile too."

"truth is.. i thought you had a thing for that cheerleader you hugged on saturday," y/n admitted after all the time she spent hiding away, feeling a sense of relief after letting it out. "i was... jealous, okay? that's why i haven't talked to you."

"wow! i knew there was something behind it!" yujin pointed a finger at y/n like a little kid with his mouth gaping, "that's so silly... she's a senior, why would i date someone that much older than me. if anything, she gave me dating advice."

"oh.. yeah well— you've been so busy recently and i don't know what to think anymore!" y/n got off her chest, letting out a sigh after the long sentence she spoke without breathing.

"oh, now you wanna say all of these things? see, i can read you like a book, i knew it!" yujin clapped his hands at his knowledge of his best friend, laughing while y/n looked away out of embarrassment.

as y/n was looking away, she heard yujin's soft laughs slowly fade away before feeling him take a hold of her hand which made her look his way. gosh, he was looking at her with that cheekily smile again and those shining eyes.

"no matter what, i'll be here for you," yujin spoke sincerely, intertwining their hands together, "even if i can't spend time with you, i'm always here for anything you need. i'll drop anything for you."

"well..." y/n opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, leaving her with only one choice. she looked at her uniform, taking off her nametag from its spot and placing it onto yujin's other hand that wasn't holding her hand. "you better get me another one before i get scolded."

and that was it. or maybe, it was just the beginning? they're young, who knows where their relationship could go from there. kind of cute if you think about it, two students intertwined together. she fell for a smile that she gave.

#zerobaseone #zb1 #zerobaseonefics #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 imagines #zb1 imagine #han yujin #han yujin x reader #han yujin imagines #boys planet #boys planet imagine #gyubaseone #gyubaseone works. 🐰

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camthecatchameleon · 6 months ago

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cranking the image description out for this one boys

lineups of the Crews from the two Legends of Avantris campaigns I’ve actually listened to with consistency (still not finished with EoM but I’m on 21 so I’m getting there dont worry) + artists notes

Highly suggested that you scroll below the cut for this. (my handwriting is not the best + its small + some hidden design notes too :eyes: )

Image 1: Carnivalé LeCroux (not drawn to scale lmao)

(from left to right)

Hootsie: least fun to draw (Boring shapes) (draw the least). Typically I imagine her as a horned owl owlbear so her canon “eyebrows” flatten out and connect to her neck. I just think it gives her a nice silhouette. Frost: least fun to draw (cat). I’ve been drawing him with Chinese/vaguely East Asian-inspired robes because he’s from the mountail of Yulong and you can’t just give me a place called “Yulong” and expect me NOT to go ham on the east asian inspiriation. (east asian artist here.) Gricko: don’t draw nearly enough, most fun to draw (hair). I gave him a permanent cowlick on his bangs and I think the shapes are nice. Chunks ripped out of his ears are from Hootsie when she was younger and couldn’t control her strength. Kremy: most fun to draw (lizord), draw the most, did the most reference study for. I may love to draw lizards but crocodylidae are so uniquely shaped. Scrolling back through my ouaw posts and you can see I am still getting used to it. Torbek: most inconsistent, stupid machinery doesn’t make sense. The shape of his canisters and the collar with a keyhole both are from the first time I drew him, which was without a reference, and they just. Stuck. Gideon: Big boob indulgence, stupid machinery doesn’t make sense. Drawing him with awkwardly long hair, post-trauma fat, and smile lines is my favorite passtime. His marriage rings are on a necklace because they get in the way of punching clowns. Twig (pre-death): draw the least (can’t figure out her shapes). Drawing her fractured glasses and refracted eye is my favorite time.

Image 2: Witchhunters!! (I think my headcanon height difference is funny)

Shortest to tallest (briggsy and farryn are the same height):

Briggsy: Still figuring out how to depict distinction from Kremy (gator). So far i’ve got more spikes and a thicker neck and thats about it. I’m working on it. Farryn: fun shapes! skinny L. Ever since learning how to draw body fat I’ve never gone back its actually so hard to draw skin-and-bones skinny people now. Marius: least consistent (can’t decide how curly her hair is), armor L. Yes I headcanon he/she marius do you have a problem with that? Bat-like ears because heehoo. I just realized the symbol I drew on his chestplate looks like the Horde symbol from she-ra FUCK can you tell I don’t look at references? Jericho: most fun to draw!!! (draw the most). I like to draw virgil!jericho with four-pointed-star slits instead of just orbs with pupils because I think shapes are fun. Lethica: drew her wrong for WAY too long. I hadn’t paid enough attention to her actual ref and covered up her chest initially I’m so sorry queen. shes so pretty though. Although I do think its infinitely funny to headcanon that she actually looks pretty average. Tall women my beloved. Yorgrim: least drawn, Beard + Big indulgence. No seriously I’ve only drawn him twice. Hes awesome though soft rectangular shapes ftw.

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yourlocalmerchgirl · 3 months ago

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Your Person

Bobby Goren X neurodivergent F!reader

Summary: Bobby has spent most if his life feeling like he didn't belong, that it wasn't possible for him to connect with someone the way everyone else does, that is until me meets you, his person.

Warnings: Cannon level violence and language. So much fluff, love and acceptance. mentions of Panic, anxiety and death/dying. Minimal use of Y/N. Very little physical description of reader

Authors note: This is story was a labor of love and my love letter to Bobby Goren and the way Vincent D'Onofrio played him. I've never connected with or seen myself represented in a character the way I do with Bobby Goren. I dont think you need to of seen Law and Order: Criminal Intent to enjoy this story.

The midsummer sun shinned down on Bobby’s face as he walked to the coffee shop. The sun feels similar to warmth that spreads throughout his chest whenever he sees you. The smile you always give him. God that smile. It’s different than the smile you give everyone else around you.

He can’t help but smile thinking about the day you met. How flustered and embarrassed you were when you’d run into him causing his coffee to spill everywhere. How he felt something tug In his chest when your big hazel eyes looked into his when you realized it spilled on him. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and tell you it was ok when it was clear you were prepared to be yelled at.

Bobby knew the moment he started falling for you. He tried to fight it at first because it scared the shit out of him. Pretty much resigning to the fact that he’d always be alone. His job was demanding, which was hard for a lot people to deal with. So he had stopped entraining anything that wasn’t serious. He wanted someone to share a life with, someone that would accept him, quarks and all. So he didn’t want to waste what little free time he had with someone who only wanted sex.

As he dips into the cafe the cashier greets him with a tired smile.

“Welcome in, just to let you know we close in 10 minutes”

“No problem, I’ll have a large coffee cream and sugar”

“Oh, Ah is (y/n) in today?”

“Umm I’m going to grab the owner” she replies eyeing him suspiciously.

Bobby doesn’t blame her, she doesn’t know him, he hasn’t been in, in about a month. She’s doing the safe thing by getting someone.

“Hey, theres this guy out front that I’ve never seen before asking for Y/N”

“Ok, I’ll go up and check it out. Why don’t you start your end of day tasks”

Stacey makes her way to the front to see who’s asking for you. She’s very happy to see it’s Bobby, the one person you’ve really taking a liking too since he started coming in.

“Hey Bobby, sorry about that”

“It’s no problem, I know she was just being safe, doing the right thing”

“She’s here, back in her usual spot doing some ordering on her laptop” Stacey says as she hands him his coffee.

“I wont stay long, I know your trying to close up”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want. She’ll be really happy to see you, but you didn’t hear that from me” Stacey chuckles.

She’ll be happy to see me?

Bobby is rounding the corner into the seating area at the exact moment you happen to look up from your laptop.

The way you light up sends a sea of warmth crashing against his chest. He waves awkwardly and you return the wave.

“Hi” he say unable to contain the smile dancing across his face.

“Bobby! Hi. You’re alright?” The smile creeps across your face.

“What do you mean I’m alright?” He asks tilting his head to the side to watch your expression as he sits.

Fuck. You can feel your skin heating up as you pull your eyes down too your laptop.

He realizes by your reaction that he sounded accusatory when he didn’t mean too.

“I didn’t mean for that to sound that way”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just been a while since I’d seen you in…uh not that I expect you to come in. I know you’re busy. I um just was worried when it had been a while.” At this point youre face is on fire, you’re making an absolute fool of yourself with your word vomit.

She worries about me

“We’ve had several intense cases back to back. We pretty much were working around the clock. Only went home to sleep. Not that I was really sleeping either.” He says studying you intently, trying desperately to figure out if you feel the palpable connection that’s between the two of you.

“I wish I’d know, I would have brought some stuff from the cafe down for you and your partner.”

“That’s really very sweet of you”

“It’s not like you come in everyday, but regularly enough that I just thought something might of happened to you in the line of duty” you say without thinking, almost like you’d forgotten you were talking to him.

Bobby tilts his head trying to look at your face.

“You really were worried about me. I didn’t mean to worry you”

The realization crashing down on you like a brick. Fuck. I really said that out loud.

“I ah. Man I’m saying a lot of things. I’m sorry I’m trying not to be weird. Didn’t really mean to say that out loud” you say dragging your hands down your face as you pull your eyes up to find him already looking at you.

His deep brown eyes are soft, his smile kind as he watches you.

“No it’s not like that. It’s nice to know someone’s worried about me.”

“I’m sure lots of people are worried about you, you’re pretty awesome.”

OH MY GOD. I need to stop talking. What the hell am I doing. This man is not interested in my flattery. Where is literally anyone to cut into this conversation to save me from myself.

Just then as if you materialized her yourself you notice Stacey over Bobby’s shoulder coming towards the two of you.

“Did our girl over here tell you she’s testing out some new recipes for the bakery case? And that she’s knocking it out of park?”

“No she didn’t, she must of forgotten to tell me how much of a badass she is.”

Your face is beat read at that point, meanwhile the both of them are smiling ear to ear talking about you.

“Yea she’s like that, she’s too modest really. I tell her all the time she needs to brag about her pastries more often”

“Man you two are quiet the pair today” you laugh

“Besides, why brag about myself, I’m just an average baker. I’m no Gordon Ramsay”

“I don’t see Gordon Ramsay making apple danishes and apple bread. I bet you could kick his ass” Stacey adds as you all begin to laugh.

Bobby relishes bring included in this moment of banter. Seeing how light and free you are when your wall is completely down and there’s no anxiety in sight.

“I’d love to try them, can I?” Bobby cuts in.

He doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at his comment.

“Sure, I think there’s still some left from my test batch this morning let me go check”

You say before going out back to check.

“Can I ask you something about her?” Bobby asks, his voice soft with a hint of hesitation.

“Of corse you can, though I might not give you a answer”

Bobby can’t help but smile at Stacey’s direct protectiveness of you. He’s happy you have a friend like her.

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“No she doesn’t” Stacey says arching your eyebrow in curiosity.

“Do you think she’d want to go to dinner with me?”

Stacey looks over her shoulder to see if you were coming before answering.

“I’m going to be real honest for a second. Yes, honestly I think she would love to go to dinner with you. She really enjoys when you come in and truly was worried something had happened to you when you didn’t for a while. But with that being said don’t ask her if you’re not serious about going actually. Don’t ask her just to blow her off or to only get what you want when it’s convenient for you.”

“I get where your coming from”

“I’m not trying to say you’re the type to do that. She just-she has a big heart and people love to take advantage of that. She doesn’t trust or open up easy. At times she has crippling anxiety. So just be patient with her. Your smart and perspective, I’m sure you’ve noticed that her anxiety eases when she sees that you’re here”

Bobby knows exactly what Stacey’s talking about. He picked up on your anxiety immediately, notcing that over time when he’d come in at peak times you’d sometimes be drowning in your anxiety. But he swore you’d look up and connect eyes with you and he’d see your expression soften, your body become less tense. He always thought it was his eyes playing tricks on him, letting himself see what he wanted to see. But Stacey confirming it was real made the fire in his chest burn hotter.

As they can hear you coming back Stacey leans in quickly to Bobby so you don’t hear.

“She finds comfort in you, please don’t take that for granted”

Bobby nods, you’re too close now to respond. He appreciates the serious heart to heart with Stacey.

“Hey sorry it took so long, I think they taste better heated up so I was waiting for the little oven to heat up so I could warm them up for you”

“Well I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll be in the office for a bit doing payroll. Welcome back Bobby, it was nice to see you” Stacey offers before leaving the two of you alone.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me”

“Oh no it’s no worries, really. Oh I ah should have asked do you need it packed up? You probably need to get back to work.”

“Im actually all done for the day. But I can go, I’m sure you want to go home.” Bobby says as he starts to stand, worried he’s over stayed his welcome.

“Oh ok, here let me pack these up for you”

You’re disappointed, Bobby can tell by your tone. He feels clueless navigating stuff like this sometimes. He never wants to come off as over baring or clingy, he’s been sold so many times that needy guys aren’t attractive.

“It was nice to see you today, hope you like the pastries” you offer unable to tamp down your smile. There was just something about Bobby that drew you too him, that made you feel like there’s this electricity between the two of you.

Bobby’s half way through the doorway when he doubles back. His hearts pounding but he just has to do it.

“Sorry, one more thing. Would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Like…on a date?” You ask shifting on your feet nervously. It couldn’t be could it?

“Yes, If you’d want that. If not id still like to go as friends.” Bobby wonders if you can see if his heart pounding in is chest because, fuck- he was nervous.

“I’d really like that…to go on a date with you”

A genuine smile rolls so quickly over both of your faces as both of you look at each other in awe.

You go around the counter to get a piece of paper and a pen.

“Here, this is my number just let me know when it works with your schedule and I can make it work with mine”

“Heres mine as well”

The way your fingers graze his when you take his card send electricity shooting through his whole body.

“I’m off the whole week because of all the over time I’ve worked, are you free tomorrow or is that to short notice?”

“No, that works for me I can do that”

Your smile makes Goren feel like he’s the only person in the world.

“Does 5 o’clock work?”

“Works for me”

“Where can I pick you up?”

“You can pick me up here”

“Oh ah I don’t want to rush you, making you get ready here”

“Oh” you let out a little laugh. “I just live upstairs. Stacey and I both do”

“Just ring the buzzer for Apartment 1 next to the graffiti covered door and I’ll come right down”

——————————————————————

The buzzer sounds as you quickly pad across your apartment to the call box.

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Bobby, sorry I’m a little early”

“It’s ok, let me grab my shoes and I’ll be right down”

Bobby fidgets with his hands, rubbing his thumb into the palm of the opposite hand while he waits.

He can’t help the smile that comes at just hearing the door click open and it only grows as you open the door and step out on to the sidewalk. The way the early evening sun hits you makes you look ethereal.

“You look beautiful, I like your dress” Bobby beams.

“Thank you so much, I had to get it when I saw it, but never had a reason to wear it” you smile.

“You look very handsome” you try to turn away but he catches a glimpse of you blushing. Bobby thinks it’s so cute when to get shy like this.

“I really like your suite, it’s a nice color on you” you say reaching over and rubbing the fabric between your index finger and thumb. “It’s soft too” you say with a smile.

Bobby lets out a content hum, the sound makes you painfully aware that you actually did in-fact feel the fabric of his suite coat.

“Oh god I’m sorry” you say pulling your focus to the ground. “I have this bad habit of feeling the texture of things”

“It’s ok, I get it. You’re a tactile person. Please don’t feel bad. I also have a bad habit of touching things. Picking things up and checking them out or playing with them. And most people really don’t like it when you touch their stuff. I try not to but I just can’t help myself.”

“You can feel my dress if you want”

Bobby can’t help but smile at the gesture and the meaning behind it.

His finger tips lightly graze the bare skin of your arm as he takes the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers.

The little giggle that bubbles out of you when the sensation of his touch tickles you leaves him breathless.

To any just passerby this scene unfolding must look awkward. And it is, but it is the must beautiful kind of awkward. The both of you showing vulnerable glimpses of yourselves to one another and being met with nothing but acceptance.

“Do you like Italian food? There’s a great place near here I thought I could take you too, if you’d like”

“I love Italian, that sounds great”

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you walk to the restaurant.

The two of you are met with a warm happy welcome when you walk into a quaint restaurant.

“Welcome back, Bobby! Your usual table and meal tonight?” The hostess says with a smile.

He comes here often

“I…ah actually would like table for two tonight” Bobby responds as he turns to smile at you.

“Wonderful, right this way” the waitress beams

“Their food is very good here. The veal parmesan is my favorite but you really can’t go wrong with anything here”

“Can I get anything else to drink besides water for the two of you?”

“I’ll have a glass of red wine please”

“And for you miss?”

“Oh, just water is ok for me”

“I’ll ah I’ll just stick with water too”

“No, no it’s ok, please have the wine”

“Sorry I should have asked if you were ok with alcohol.”

“Really it’s ok. It’s not like that. I just… I’m admittedly very nervous about tonight so if I mix that with alcohol, I’ll just talk your ear off” you laugh.

“I think I’d like that” he smiles. He could listen to you talk all night long.

It’s at this point you’re painfully aware that the restaurant is getting very busy. A huge party arrived taking over one whole side of the tiny space. You’re trying to ignore it, to just focus on the sound of Bobby’s soothing voice. You so badly want tonight to go well, and certainly having a panic attack within the middle of the restaurant would not help in that.

The two of you order dinner, as the loud drone of conversations are crashing together. Your heart starts pounding as all the chatter becomes impossible to sort through. You squirming around in your seat as you try to sooth yourself doesn’t go unnoticed by Bobby. He sees your pulse quickening in the glow of the restaurant, as your eyes squeeze shut. He knows right away you’re having a panic attack without you having to say anything as he springs into action.

Quietly he goes up to the hostess, explaining that you’re not feeling well and asks to pay for dinner and for it to-go.

When he turns back you’re gripping the table so tightly your knuckles are white.

Bobby kneels down next to you,smoothing his hand up and down your back. The way you relax into his touch fills his chest with that familiar warm sensation.

“Why don’t we go” he softly says into your ear.

I really fucking did it now

Letting out a pained sigh you slowly stand. You can’t even bring yourself to look at him as he guides the two of you out of the restaurant, his hand never leaving your lower back.

“Are you ok?” He tilts his head trying to look at your face.

You can feel yourself retreated further and further inward, embarrassed and upset with yourself.

“I should go, I’m sorry I ruined your night. Thank you for taking me out, or atleast trying too”

You turn to walk away but Bobby reaches out for your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Please wait. I’ll take you home if you’d like. But you need to know you’d your not ruining my night.”

“That’s very nice of you but…” you start but Bobby cuts you off when he sees tears in your eyes.

“Hey, do you like ice cream? What if we got ice cream and walked around the park?

“Wait you want to continue our date by getting ice cream when we couldn’t even get though dinner”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” Bobby smirks

“Ok” you smile

“Maybe there will be a lot of ducks at the pound” you say smiling up at him as the two of you exit the ice cream parlor.

“You like animals” it’s less of a question and more of making a mental note out loud.

“I do. I love animals. I like them more than most people because all they want is to give and receive unconditional love. They don’t judge you. They’re just there for you.”

“I never thought about it that way, but you’re right. It really is unfair that some of us have to feel that way.”

“It is because I don’t think you ever fully get used to being an acquired for most people. I just wish It hadn’t taken me so long to realize most people were just using me.”

Bobby’s both saddened and surprised by your comment. On one hand it hurts him that you’ve ever had to feel this way, that you’ve had to experience that same kind of loneliness. And on the other hand he’s never had someone pull the thoughts right out of his own head, to be able put to words to what that exact feeling is like.

A thought occurred to Bobby- Would she let me hold her hand. Before he can stop himself hes sliding his hand softly down your fore arm to lace his fingers with yours.

“Is this ok?” Bobby asks bashfully asks as the two of you enter the park.

The way you lock eyes with him when you answer, the way you’re filled with pure happiness radiating off of you makes the breath catch in his throat. He’s never felt this free before with anyone and he’s prepared to make sure you feel that you’ll always feel that way too.

—————————————————————-

That one date turned into the two of you seeing eachother every day that week that Bobby was off.

That week turned into months, 4 months to be exact and as you burst onto the street below, your arms full of bags Bobby cant remember a time he was happier.

“What’s all this?” He laughs as he takes the bags as you two wait for a cab to his place.

“We havnt gotten to see each other in a couple weeks, I though I could cook dinner for us and we could just relax, watch some movies or read.”

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble”

“Well I want too, besides I got a new cookbook with some of the gift cards you gave me for the bookstore. So there’s some stuff I’ve been dying to make.

“ you know.. you didn’t have to do that you know. You didn’t have to send that gift card over”

“I know. But I was upset I couldn’t take you to the book store to get that new book you’ve been excited about. Were you able to get it?”

“Yes! I was able to get the last signed edition they had” you beam up at him, unable to contain your excitement.

“I havnt finished it yet, but it’s so good Bobby! I brought it so you could see it, can I show you?”

“Of course” he smiles as he leans against you, looking on as you show him the book.

“Do you mind if shower quickly?”

“Of course, no rush. I’ll get started on dinner. Take your time, don’t worry about me” you coo, wrapping your arms around his neck as you push yourself up on your tippy toes to kiss him.

As Bobby wipes the steam covered mirror with his towel he can’t help but stare at his own reflection, desperate to see himself the way you see him. Everything about being around you feels like a dream, still In disbelief that a girl like you would choose to spend time with him. That a girl like you who’s so kind, patient and loving wants him in her world.

Bobby knew he wasn’t for everyone, that most people thought he was to weird, obsessive and by the book. He had a short fuse when it came to other peoples bullshit and could be somewhat of a loose cannon but the moment someone made comments about him he would shrink back into himself because deep down he always believed their hateful words.

But when you look at him, your eyes are always filled with a level of love and empathy that he’s never received from anyone before. Bobby knows he’s weird, that there’s a lot about himself and his personality that he can’t help. When it comes to you though he feels free, he never feels out of place or like he doesn’t fit into society when he’s with you.

The sight of you swaying to the music you have on as you cook makes his heart thunder in his chest.

I love this women

“Dance with me for a moment while dinner cooks” Bobby whispers, his breath fanning your neck as he wraps his arms around you nuzzling into you.

“I don’t know how too” you giggle, never getting enough when he’s like this- clingy and playfully romantic.

“It’s ok, follow my lead. I’ll teach you.” Bobby relishes moments like this. He loved teaching you things.

“There, that’s it, just like that” he coos as the two of you glide around the kitchen.

You let out the cutest content hum as you buried your face in his chest. He gradually slows the two of you to a stop as he holds you In the middle of the kitchen.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks kissing the crown of your head.

You tilt your head up to find his deep brown eyes watching you intently.

“I’m thinking about how happy you make me”

Just as he’s about to reply Bobby’s work phone starts ringing. He lets out a gravely growl.

“I’m sorry, that’s work I have to get it”

“It’s ok” you whisper stepping back to busy yourself taking dinner out of the oven. You try to hide the fact that you’re sad, but it’s useless, Bobby knows he can feel it, he knows your micro-expressions like the back of his hand.

“This is Goren” he answers the phone as he steps into the living room.

The rest of the phone call is in a quick hushed tone. You can tell Bobby’s frustrated by the call.

“I-I have to go. I’m really sorry. There’s a huge development in our case and they need me”

“It’s ok. I’ll just put this in the fridge and go too”

“No no. It’s ok please stay. Make yourself at home. I will be back I just don’t know when.”

“O-okay”

This couldn’t have come at a worse time is all Bobby can think as he makes his way to the station. You’re always so good about his schedule but this is the first time he’s had to leave abruptly like that for work and while you were at his place no less. A place you havnt been many times and he knows your probably anxious right now about being there alone.

“What’s the update?”

“The manager of a motel in the Catskills called the tip line saying a father and two children matching Nathan and his kids checked into his motel a couple of hours ago. Chef wants us to go out there and stake it out.”

“Alright let’s head out then”

——————————————————————

“Sorry to have to call you in Bobby” Eames says finally breaking the silence in the back of the stake out van.

“It’s fine, wasn’t trying to be short on the phone” Bobby waves his hand as he’s looking out the window.

“Eames I think I got something” he says handing her the binoculars.

“Over there at the vending machine, I think that’s Lilly, Nathan’s daughter”

“She was pretty glued to you when we were there for questioning drew you that picture, maybe she remembers you. If she does she could get us access to Nathan.”

Eames and Bobby cautiously approach the little girl at the vending machine.

“Hi Lily, do you remember me and my partner Alex? We came to your house a few times.”

“Yes, policeman Bobby. Did you hang my picture up?”

“Of course I did, right next to my desk just like I said.” Bobby says kneeling next to Lily.

“You did! I hope everyone likes it!” Lily’s eyes light up as she scoots closer to Bobby.

“Can you tell us where you dad and brother are?” Eames asks

“They are in the room. Dad and bothers hair is turning blonde but the room is really stinky so I came out here. Dad said mine would change too.”

“He’s bleaching their hair” Bobby says locking eyes with Eames.

“Sweetheart, do you think you could take us to the room, we’d like our hair blonde too.”

“Ok, but could I have some more chips? I’m hungry”

“Yes, let’s get you some more chips” Bobby says pulling a dollar from his pocket and slipping it into the machine and handing the chips to the girl.

“Can you show us the way? we don’t know where to go?”

“Mmhmm” Lily hums happily as her little hand grabs Bobby’s.

Bobby and Eames hang back a moment as Lily enters the room.

“Daddy! My friend are here and they got me some chips!”

Nathan looks up to unexpectedly to find the pair starring back at him, scrambling he draws his gun.

“Hey..hey point your gun at me not my partner.” Bobby’s voice booms

“We’re just here to talk Nathan, we walk to help you.”

“Bull shit you don’t want to help me. You don’t give a shit about me. You just want to take my family away.” Nathan gestures angrily, turning his attention back towards Eames.

“Hey what did I tell you focus on me, not my partner.”

“We do want to help you, and we will. We will make sure that you have access to therapy and meds on the inside.”

“Fuck you man I’m not going away, you’re not putting my kids with strangers” Nathan reaches for Lilly while waving his gun at Bobby.

“Daddy please stop shouting at my friends”

“Shut up, they’re not your friends, they want to take you away from me just like they did with mommy”

“Why don’t you let my partner take the kids to the diner to get some food and you and I will have a talk.”

“Give her your gun and phone, put them on the floor and slid them over to her, no funny business” Nathan motions his gun towards Eames.

Bobby does what he’s told. He knows it’s risky but he needs to get Eames and the kids out of here.

“Lily can you draw me some new pictures to hang up at work?”

“Ok I can do that” she says as she takes Eames and her brother’s hand and they all leave.

“You know she looks up to you, ever since the two of you came poking around the house asking question she’s talked about you guys nonstop. It’s pretty cruel to tell a child you care just to get what you want.”

“I’m not lying. I hung the picture up next to my desk.”

“You’re the one lying to her about us taking her mother away.”

“If you hadn’t of been hanging around asking questions….” Bobby cuts Nathan off mid sentence.

“Nathan. Your embezzling money, stealing from your clients. We’re doing our jobs asking questions.”

“If you didn’t come around asking questions that made my wife suspicious she’d still be alive.”

“Don’t put that on me. You killed your wife not me.” Bobby shouts unable to keep his cool any longer.

“You don’t get it do you? This is a eye for a eye situation”

“So what, you want to hurt me? You want hit me? Go ahead, give me the best you’ve got.” Goren snarls.

Nathan laughs

“Only one of us is leaving this room and it’s not going to be you Bobby”

“You’re really stooping to a new low threatening a detective.”

“It’s not a threat. Your not leaving this room alive”

Bobby’s starting to panic, his heart pounding against his chest as he try’s to figure a way out.

“If you kill me youll never see your kids again, you’ll loose everything.”

“I already lost everything when you forced me to kill my wife. My only choice is to take you out.” Nathan says as he takes a step closer

“And what are you going do when your daughter comes in here and sees you’ve killed her friend.”

“Do not talk about my daughter. She needs to learn that the world is cruel and that not everyone is what they seem” Nathan spits as he digs the gun into Bobby’s chest.

Bobby’s mind races as he try’s to slow his breathing. He knows Nathan wants to see him panicking, he’s desperately trying to ease his mind. In all of his career he’s never felt this close to death, he can’t do that to Eames or to you.

“Hope you told the person you have at home that you love them because you’ll never see them again”

In an instant all Bobby sees is your face, the way you looked into his eyes as he lead you around his kitchen in a dance. Everything about it was so simple and romantic and then you told him how happy he makes you. And then he never got to tell you how happy you make him, how he’s never loved anyone the way he loves you. The idea of never getting to see what life would be like with you makes him see red and he snaps.

“Well come on, do it if you’re going to do it” Bobby Growls. The pain of his thoughts being flooded with moments that would never be with you, hurts worse than death it’s self he’s sure of it.

A rapid secession of bangs rings out from the other side of the door rendering Nathan distracted for a slipt second. Bobby lunges forward grabbing ahold of the gun and kicking his knee trying to knock him down.

He pushes against Bobby causing him to stumble back, he attempts to take a shot at Bobby but when does he pushes hard back into him. The bullet lodges into the wall as Nathan regains his footing holding the gun on Bobby.

Eames bursts through the door in this moment.

“Nathan drop your weapon” she shouts holding her gun on him.

“Your going to have to shoot me or I’m going to shoot your partner”

Nathan lunges torwards Bobby and with out hesitation Eames shoots him in the b chest in self defense.

Bobby sits there in the back of the van, his head in his hands as they make the couple hour drive back to the city.

“Are you alright, Bobby?” Eames asks needing to check on her partner.

“Am I am ok? No I’m not ok. I almost died. Almost never saw her again.” He grits out, frazzled and shaken by the whole ordeal.

“Ugh sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just shaken up”

“I heard what he said to you. You love her don’t you?”

Bobby nods in response, afraid to say it out loud.

“Does she know?”

“No” Bobby shakes his head with a low voice. He lets out a long breathy sigh as he leans his head back against the wall of the van before closing his eyes.

“I feel loved too” Bobby breaths out into the dark quietness of the van as they pull back into the station garage.

Bobby never talks like this, so Eames knows he’s being genuine and vulnerable with her.

“You go, I’ll go up and do our paperwork before I go home.”

“No it’s ok”

“You’ve had a long night, you deserve some rest. Take a few paid days off. If the captain has an issue with it he can take it up with me”

“Thank you, Eames” Bobby gives her a tight lipped smile before heading to his car.

You’re all he can think about on you his drive home. He’s so distraught and disheveled over tonight’s events. All he wants right now is for you to crowd his senses, to be in your arms with your hands messaging through his hair as you tell him everything going to be alright.

As Bobby pulls up to his places he hope that some luck is on his side, that you’ll still be there but he fears it’s unlikely. After a few minutes he drags himself inside. You left the light on above the sink for him, there’s a note telling him that dinner is in the fridge for him. He takes this as a sign that you’ve left and his shoulders sag a little.

He just stairs at the small plate of food on the counter. His nerves are still through the roof from work but he knows he needs to eat, not really remembering the last time he did. He’s aimlessly pacing around the kitchen picking at the plate of food when he notices warm dim light coming from his bedroom.

Maybe she did stay.

Bobby stops in his tracks at the sight of you sound asleep in his bed with a your book laid across your chest. He can’t help but tear up as he sinks down on the bed next to you, leaning over you to grab your bookmark off the bedside table. As he gently takes the book off your chest and places the bookmark inside he notices your wearing one of his undershirts as a bed shirt.

Softly he lets his body fall onto yours, his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“Mmhmm Bobby” you hum sleepily as you wrap your arms around him tightly, one hand instinctually messaging through his short greying curls.

Bobby lets out a ragged breath as he melts further into you.

“What time is it? I should go and let you get some rest.”

“Please…don’t go. Don’t leave me alone” Bobby chokes out.

“I-I I’m not going anywhere Bobby”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight, not right now. I’m just to-I was just to scared I’d never see you again. I just want to be near you”

“Why don’t we take a shower, that will help sooth you.

Bobby watches you in complete awe of the way you move around the bathroom getting the shower ready, at how caring and loving you are with him. It’s hard for him to believe that all of this is real. That someone like you would truthfully care for him, would want to spend time with him. It’s hard for him to trust people because of his line of work and the life hes had, but opening up to and trusting you was the best decision he ever made.

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