#which i am deleting (the doc) its not going anywhere BUT

[hold-him-down]

The men ease him onto his side as his body jerks relentlessly. One has to block his hands from clawing at his neck while the other describes the immediate physical effects they observe. 

Felix’s body eventually stills and his eyes slowly open, but he has difficulty focusing on any one object in the room. “There you are,” the nurse says, running his hand through the boy’s sweat-soaked hair. 

[melannen]

How To Make Your Own Fanfiction Archive, In Just Ten Easy Steps

As the go-to "person who knows about AO3" for quite a few people who read fanfic but aren't really linked-in to wider fandom culture, I've fielded a lot of questions about how to do certain things on AO3 to which my best answer is "you should really start your own archive!" I think, in general, more fans starting their own small archives would be a net good for fandom. AO3 was never meant to be the only archive for all fandom, or even the main archive, and the more spread out and backed up we are the more resilient we are.

But of course I have to be reminded that a lot of fans these days don't really have any idea how little "you should start your own archive!" really involves. (Also, that I should practice what I preach.) So I am now making my own fanfiction archive, and writing up this post as I do it to tell people how to make theirs!

Go to https://neocities.org/ and sign up for an account. It only needs a username (which will also be your website address), password, and email. Pick a username that will be related to your archive's title!

Choose the free account option (if you ever need more than what the free account offers for a text-only archive, you should probably look into graduating from neocities.) This should take you to a menu of "how to make a website" tutorials. You should do them! They're useful skills. But let's get your archive running first.

Hit the big red Edit Site button, or open the menu under your username and select "Edit Site".

Select the "Index.html" file to edit. You're now in an HTML Editor. Congrats, you're a web developer c. 1999!

Find where it has text between the < title> tags. Delete the filler text, and put in the title of your new archive. This text will be what shows on the tab when people go to your archive.

Find where it has text between the < h1 > tags. This will be big header text at the top of your page. Put the title of your archive here again. If you have no experience with HTML, you should read over the other sample text. It covers the basic basics very well! Once you've done that, you can delete everything else between the < /h1> tag and the < /body> tag. Save your index.html file.

Get an HTML file for a fanfic you would like to add to your archive. If it's on AO3, you can use the html download option built into AO3. If you have it as a word processor/google docs file, you should have the option to save as an html file. Save that html file to your computer.

Go back to Edit Site on Neocities and go to "upload". Find the html file you saved and upload it. (You can also drag and drop files to upload.)

The file you uploaded should now be showing with your other neocities files. Right-click on the title and select "copy link".

Go in to edit index.html again. Under where you put your header text, type < br> < a href=" . Then paste in the link you copied. Then type "> Then put in the title of the fic. Then type < /a> . Then save the index page again when you're done. You can do this for every fanfic you have.

Congratulations! You now have your very own personal private fanfiction archive that you are 100% in charge of and make all the rules for. It's at least as good as half the ones I was reading on when I started reading fanfiction and will serve its function well as a way to let people read your fic. You can link to it from anywhere you want! (Including your AO3 profile.)

Blogpost version, with FAQs and discussion

Anyway, here's my beautiful new fanfiction archive made using this tutorial:

Melannen's Fanfiction Archive

(I am honestly way more disproportionately proud of finally making that than I expected to be. It's nice to have your own archive.)

If you make one, share it here ! I want to see!

[eternalmink]

Don't believe chellyscatbox/iychodon/zinzo's "apology"

In the first sentence, chelly says it will explain how it will make up for its actions, yet it never does nor does it ever even say it will never do these things again(besides keeping tabs, which that's the bare minimum. It never says it won't continue sexual harassment) This may sound like nitpicking, but it's because these things are all stuff that chelly has done multiple times. Some things it still does even after supposedly "apologizing". One example being sexualizing people it's mad at (calling them names or slurs or talking about their privates) or invading their privacy and boundaries("accidentally" stumbling upon people's nsfw accounts).

Not to mention it tries to downplay its actions in the document as well. "no physical action happened during this encounter, therefore it classifies as cyber sexual harassment, not sexual assault as that is something physical."

"but he isn't exactly innocent either as he has fakeclaimed us and has used one of our alters to the point he became semi-verbal along with other allegations which we will not discuss in this doc." This is supposed to be an apology and an explanation, yet chelly itself admits it doesn't go over everything.

"all of me either being really mentally unstable or having psychotic/manic episodes and taking them out on people. because you see, i can't think rationally when i have episodes like these, and i can't track them either. but even then i fully take accountability for my actions. " just because it says it'll take accountability (it doesn't even say how) doesn't make this "apology" any less awful. It just sounds like it's using disorders and mental illness as an excuse yet again.

Also, the stuff here is only a few months old. There are also things that chelly simply just did not go over, either.

Once again, chelly sexualizing people it dislikes, and the person in question is triggered by things like this too. When chelly deleted it, it apologized to its followers for having to see this. Not the person being spoken of.

Notice how chelly gets defensive for being called out instead of apologizing as well. If it's really sorry, why react like this to being caught?

If it has really changed as a person, why does everyone continue to get the hell away from it?

If it has really changed, why does it keep doing these things? Why does it keep needing chance, after chance, after chance?

i doubt I need to explain this but: chelly confesses to someone it doesn't even know whether or not has a partner, proceeds to lash out them.

This was a private thing, yes, but it still wasn't addressed anywhere as if it never happened and makes it seem like chelly only apologizes for things it actually gets in trouble for.

Chellys words underlined above contradict stuff in the doc

To this day it is still in denial that it can't use the n word. Its own brother said it couldn't use it during call.

There's still more that will never even be put here because its victims have left the internet, and the ones that haven't— as said in the doc— don't want to be bothered anymore. And most of that is because Chelly will never be able to provide the proper closure they all deserve, and they know it.

Chelly says it wants to move on and do better, but it's said that before and now look where it is. It's had so many chances. All the way since 2021. Three years. It's had three years, yet it expects us to believe it has changed within the past few months.

Not only is this so called apology garbage, it lacks sincerity.

[nightfallsystem-moved]

Hey there! I'm a trans adult, and here's my story, i was going to DM you so sorry for the anonymous ask i just normally don't share this much in public, but anything for a fellow transexual! :3

I transitioned later in life (age 30) and did so in front of all my students, waited 5ish months on HRT to tell admin, and came out to the students with a copy of my court ordered name change passed around and "fun fact new names new pronouns thanks for understanding"

Friend, when i say the kids are okay i mean it. The kids didn't really fuck with misgendering, four kids secretly came out to me, and generally it was a wonderful experience

I'm years beyond that job now but I'm still in touch with some students (it's nice when your old kids reach out!) And i am stealth for the first time though it's not really necessary, so why stay stealth? I just... I'm so comfortable in my body and gender i just don't think about being trans very often, it's fantastic

Unfortunately i can't help you with a path that's available to you because it seems you live in the states but if you can get to anywhere in Latin America almost you can get as much HRT as you like from the pharmacy and my top chop was done by a private doc who didn't take insurance for under $4k

So it's ok, things get so, so much better, hang in there, I'll follow you rn so you can maybe see which blog i am, cheers

hi hi!! tyysmm (tell me if this isnt okay to post publicly and ill delete it!)

ghhh this really means a lot thank you so so so so much this really just makes me feel better. it always makes me feel better to see trans adults living their lives happily so this means the world to me ....

i actually live in australia haha so im hoping its reasonable in terms of how hard it is,, but my sister already physically transitioned (well. shes much older than i. so) so i hope its not too hard and she'll help me,..

this is just. so so nice to hear. its really nice. i appreciate it more than i can put into words. (sorry. im so sleepy rn )

i cant thank you enough for taking the time out of your day to send me this.

[wildflower-rain]

long post with just my musings about nothing. more a journal entry than anything else. all lighthearted stuff.

dont know if im in a mood but im considering stepping away from this blog and the internet in general for a bit.

been on here to much lately or something plus some other stuff. idk i may disappear briefly.

hesitant to do so because i think my unintentional attempt to keep stuff in this blog's queue is why my brain hasn't just rejected it. like thats not a big consideration point but it is there.

tbf there aren't many points here at all. i just kind of started thinking about this like two hours ago so yk, i may wake up and forget i said anything.

been less engaged in some ways anyway. and more in others. been on here for long periods but i normally try add a bit of commentary in the tags if only for my own memory and amusement. but i haven't seen much that ive really wanted reblog to begin with and ive had nothing to say about anything. also as i think i said in the last two posts here now i just dont have anything to say at the moment. nothing understandable and shareable at least. got real life stuff happening too. had a lot of work to do. and a lot of stress. not actually that much stress probably , not compared to normal because like every situation is a high stress situation to me. just how i work. but i may well be forgetting how stressed i've been. i'm not sure.

idk. this blog does help me sort out my brain some. which is a point to the the other side. this post is basically a journal entry. and thats really how i use this blog most of the time. rambling about random stuff. its more consistent than any journal i've kept or have tried to keep. wondering if it would be unreasonable to make a private sideblog to actually just use as a journal because apparently tumblr gets the thoughts out of me.

i should make a journal tag. maybe. i don't know. for some reason i have more faith in tumblr not losing all my stuff than my other digital note taking and journal stuff. and generally i think better in typing. i do have a physical journal. i just don't think as freely in it, my hand gets cramped or i cant write fast enough for my thoughts. so i like digital stuff. and apparently my brain sees tumblr as more likely to not lose my stuff and die than anywhere else. at least out of places that i like the format of. don't like the idea of dumping this all in a word doc for some reason. it would make more sense. i could stick things on a usb but no, instead here i am with my billion word tumblr post that anyone can see. maybe ill start copying things into word docs after the fact idk.

i dont know why im so afraid that all my shit will be deleted. i really havent lost that much digital stuff over the years, nothing important to me i dont think. not accounts, not saved info, not my own pieces of stuff.. maybe one or two things i dont remember. i dont know why i just dont trust stuff to not get lost becuase of some screw up. idk. its 3:30am i'm going to sleep now. i had more work to do but im tired and i need to do more stuff tomorrow so i might as well get some sleep.

goodnight tumblr. or goodmorning or whatever time it is when this gets released, imma queue it.

[cheswirls]

no more tags but everythings under a cut bc i do not wish to be acknowledged

another cool idea was the spe au where gold and silver swap lives. no notes nancy means i have no idea where tf i was going w it but i remember being super into it at the time!! gold being a runaway rocket prince (i think????? or a runaway masked child) and silver living in a house full of pkmn with a doting mother. same teams different circumstances. a spe!gsc arc rewrite god i wish i had more to go off of

i have all of those pmshi oneshots from the fk verse compiled in a single doc which makes me remember i was supposed to do a 10-20yr follow-up coinciding w the giratina event. where i think red tells silver giovanni is outta jail on immunity or some bs and tells him without saying it flat that silver's gotta be the one to take care of him. as in. put him in the dirt. so thats what he and gold go to do while their small children are stuck in the distortion world trying to appease giratina. would still love to give that a shot someday. i remember doing most of those ficlets for writing warmups in english class. in. i was 16. maybe i did some for a creative writing elective too bc i remember doing fk stuff for that that never saw the light of day (in the classroom among my peers i mean)

the amnesia au is STILL a draft somewhere among my 106 drafts on here. i started that shit my second semester of uni and vividly remember spending most of the night dming someone on here abt details bc they asked and i couldnt stop myself even tho i was pulling an all-nighter to complete an art project due that next morning. ye so def when i didnt have my priorities straight goooooood thats so painful to think abt

the pmshi soulmate au was around that time too. admittedly i should've let it set more before posting to ao3 (one of the first things on my ao3 asaaaaaaaaaa kill me) but even tho my interest was killed for that i still would like to go back to it someday. when i am out of uni nd school in general and it becomes comfortable to write using my own experiences to some extent. truly that is the reason i ever stopped - school started to suck and i didn't wanna think abt it when writing smth and i still feel the same way now. maybe will revive it after graduation (and grad school prolly) since its still interesting but i am def rewriting that shit lmao

wygtm (sumo rewrite) i am still planning to come back to. still love it. still love the post-game epilogue i drafted while in a summer course in 2019. still love the sequel idea that incorporates usum elements while also being set in the future (so mizuki+lillie are adults and have established jobs in alola and some of the brunt of the usum plot is shoved onto an unsuspecting kid to mirror how those 2 handled sumo events (ailey i think????? was the name of usum!mizuki in the demo, so i ran with it. they were 2 separate ppl) buuuuuuut ik a holdup w that will be that ill have to rewrite everything and actually decide on a personality for mizuki and also. idk i still like the name faaora i think it was french polynesian??? or smth for "hero" which was fitting. this was before the selene/elio name reveal and before i liked moon. if i redid this now i'd jus call her mizuki and have her nn be moon like i did in komadori

oh i JUST checked n the perfectworld fic was last modified (digitally) august 2019. that literally could've been accidentally pressing a key and deleting it tho im not sure. i think my first rewrite was in a notebook so maybe this is the most current version n its digital. i opened it in 2022 which im almost positive was when i did those sketches for korrina and gurkinn's granddaughters from johto. dont you just love when you make ocs for a fic in your teens and still love them years down the line.

i think the last one of note is the ranger au set in sinnoh that p much is abandoned at this point bc i've admitted to hell n back that i didnt write plot details down anywhere n its been so long ive forgotten everything. the only thing i can repurpose is all the background info i had for the sinnoh quintet and how each of them has a difficult relationship with their family and why they're out as "wandering" trainers. i've thought abt this so much bc i still love the designs i gave those 5 and all the lore i established. was gonna do a riley/roark fic last summer using my tron notes for him so maybe this summer i will. doing smth for each of them in detail would be fun since i love them sooooooo. (also i can absolutely still stuff marley/candice into her fic and actually write polartwilight for the first time ever bc i looove them)

looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.

and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.

funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.

esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider

[sage-writes-stuff]

Built for pleasure | E. Munson x reader

I'm working on a request right now but I accidentally deleted this and cried because it was my favorite thing I've written SO I FOUND IT IN MY GOOGLE DOCS AND ITS BACK 😭

Fluff/slight angst? a little suggestive. There's a scene after a hook up, love confession, crying. Gn reader! Begins under cut!

It had started two years ago, when Y/n had first moved to Hawkins. They and the school's resident freak, Eddie Munson, didn't get along very well. In fact, some would even say they hated each other. Constant arguing anywhere they went and saw each other, the hallways, lunchroom, classrooms, you name it. Neither of them could completely ignore the little spark they felt in their chests every time eye contact lingered a little too long during an argument, no matter how hard they tried. Until one day.

Y/n was starting to walk home when they felt a tiny pebble hit them in the back of the head. They groaned and turned around to meet the eyes of Eddie. He smirked at their annoyed facial expression. "Hey, where you going?" Y/n rolled her eyes, "home, leave me alone Munson" Eddie grinned, "Aww don't be like that Darling...you know you want to be around me," Y/n stared at him, "Seriously? God, Eddie, sounds like you have a bigger ego than Jason. You're annoying, you know that?" It went back and forth like this for a while, next thing Y/n knew they had their hands wrapped in Eddie's hair and her lips were against his and oh my god it felt so right but so wrong at the same time..

It went on like this for the rest of the time leading up to this certain night, fighting which always lead to hooking up in Eddie's trailer, some times even the back of his van.

Y/n couldn't handle it anymore, they knew this.

But tonight was no different fighting, getting into Eddie's van steaming with pure anger, driving to his trailer, laying on his bed and letting whatever happens happen.

As soon as they finished Eddie collapsed on the bed beside them, wearing the same shit-eating grin he always did when this happened. Suddenly Y/n sat up, Eddie stared at them, noticing how their body shook slightly. "Hey uh..you okay?" Then came the noises, sniffling and whimpering. Eddie sat up and awkwardly swung an arm around them. "Are you..crying? Hey..its uhm..its alright. What's wrong?"

"We can't keep doing this." They whispered. "Doing what?" Eddie furrowed his brow in confusion. Suddenly Y/n had thrown themself to their feet. "Don't give me that bullshit Eddie! You know exactly what I'm talking about! This constant stupid, stupid loop. It's the same damn thing every single time! Fighting, driving here, making out, having sex, going home, sobbing, repeat! I-I can't handle it anymore! I wasn't built for your own personal pleasure! I know something, I know there's something here. Even if we keep pretending we hate each other when we obviously get enough of each other, it's too much.." Y/n let out a sharp breath and Eddie stared at them. He stood up and walked over to them, wrapping them into a hug.

"Do you want me to be honest?" Y/n nodded and Eddie sighed. “Well uhm...I don’t really know how to tell you this? You know how I um wasn’t looking for love, especially not with you. At the time at least. But… I kind of just adore you now? It's stupid I know, but something about you..I just...I couldn't resist you." Y/n pulled away from the hug and wiped their eyes.

"Adore? Eddie..please...this..it just hurts. Call it what it is or I'll walk away now and you never have to see me again just please tell me the truth.." Eddie sighed and sat on his bed with a nod.

"Right okay..well Y/n..I love you. And I have for a long time. And I hope you'll have me? I swear I didn't plan any of this and I'm not even sure how to stop having these feelings. Just please take me as I am?" He was on the verge of tears himself, they both knew it. "Of course I will Eddie, I love you too." Y/n smiled and sat next to him on the bed, placing their head on his shoulder. He kissed their temple and wrapped an arm around them.

I'm literally in love with this and him I'd literally do anything for him on my damn knees omg.

I might make a part two for this if anyone is interested? Hope you enjoyed, thank you to my friend Jae for giving me the idea for this. <3

Requests are open!

[arsenicpanda]

coming from an amateur writer, do you have any tips on writing smut?

ngl, I’m an amateur myself, having not finished much smut and still not written the actual act of sex from the perspective of one of the people experiencing it. So idk why you came to me, but I am flattered. I'm not great at advice on the act of writing, but I’ll do my best to talk about process and shit.

1. Read smut. Read lots of it, read varying qualities and varying lengths and as soft-core and hard-core as you’re up for. Read it for fun, just taking it in, and then read it with a critical eye. What works? What doesn’t? Are there any tropes (general, character-specific, or ship-specific) that you like or dislike? Why? What’s especially hot? What makes you cringe? What kind of language do you like? And so on and so forth. Ask questions and answer them.

2. What’s your setup? Like, which characters, which ship, which universe? If it’s an AU, how does the AU change things from canon (especially important if you’re doing ABO, which is its own can of worms I’m not getting into here)? What’s the relationship between your characters and what’s the situation in which they fuck?

3. How do your characters feel about sex in general and with respect to the ship you’re writing? How horny are they in general, for the other character(s) in the ship, and in this specific situation? What are they into and not into? What are their previous experiences (or lack thereof) with sex and romance? What experience do the characters have with each other? Are there specific experiences they might remember and use or is there certain knowledge they do or don’t have about their partner(s) (For established ships, I like to mention previous experiences and knowledge of what the POV character’s partner(s) are into as a way to show that there is real history there. For unestablished ships, I like to include that figuring out process some and the reactions to experiencing stuff for the first time, either in general or within the specific ship, to show that newness of the relationship. Maybe there’s mention of a certain preference the POV character already knows about, or maybe the POV character makes note of a preference they learn during the fic. Stuff like that.)? How loud are they during sex? Are there any sex acts that this ship would engage in no matter what (e.g. I maintain all smut with Jughead that isn’t a quickie should include him giving some amount of oral sex)? How many times can they orgasm? How sensitive are they? What’s their refractory period? And so on, and so forth. Note: once you come up with answers for this section for your ship once, the next time you write smut for them, you’ll really only have to make adjustments according to the universe you’re in, so that’s nice.

4. What kind of fic are you writing? Is it pwp? Smut within plot? A character or relationship piece? Basically, are there any arcs to get through, what are they, and how are they going to relate to the smut? How explicit is the smut? What language do you want to use to refer to genitals and orgasms and such? What POV are you writing in? How much do your characters talk? How “realistic” are things? Are they practicing safe sex, including safe oral sex?

5. What’s actually happening? I like to plan out a smut scene ahead of time so I know how it starts, where they are physically, what the characters are doing (hand, mouth, genital, etc location and movement), how one sex act moves into another, what can be seen/heard/felt/etc based on POV, what’s physically possible at all times, if there are any accessories or toys I need to explain them owning and where they’re kept before the smut, and how it ends. It also helps me make sure the smut doesn’t significantly overlap with something I’ve already written or am planning to write. I also write an outline, which you don’t have to do, but does help if you ever go weeks or months between working on it because then when you come back you don’t have to strain to remember what the plan was. You can also just go with the flow and just write, but definitely keep location of body parts and what the POV character can actually see/hear/etc (for example, if your POV character is blindfolded or bent over, they can’t describe their partner’s face) in mind as you do.

6. Write it. Vary your sentence structure. I find good smut includes not just physical action, but emotion and especially sensation, but you might disagree. If you're struggling with repeated words and shit, maybe look for lists of words to use when writing smut. Probably look up tips for writing smut in general, ask people for advice (which you already are, so good for you!), etc. Draw upon your own experience if you have any, and if you don’t, maybe look into people’s accounts, sex tips, etc and check if any questions you have about sensation have been answered online anywhere, e.g. on reddit. But don’t try and make it perfect all at first; just write it. One approach that’s often effective is to do writing "sprints", that is, sit down for fifteen minutes and just write; you can continue for another fifteen minutes when you're done if you want, but you'd be surprised how much you can get done in fifteen minute segments over multiple days. Also, I recommend writing in google docs with the setting of “Add space after paragraph” (go to Format, then Line & paragraph spacing) for ease of transferring to AO3. Actually, here's a good guide on working from google docs an moving to AO3; look at it before you start. Google docs is also useful for when you have a beta because it lets them make suggestions instead of straight-up changing things themselves. Also, take note of where you use italics and non-italicized punctuation together (this will be useful when you need to publish to AO3).

7. Read it carefully and with a critical eye like you would someone else’s fic up in #1. Make sure that you can follow the action based solely on what you wrote and that nothing impossible or contradictory happens (e.g. teleporting body parts, a single hand in two locations at the same time, people twisting or reaching in physically impossible ways). What do you think is missing, where, why, and how might you fix it?

8. Revise it.

9. Repeat 7 and 8 as much as you desire until you’re satisfied, or at least as satisfied as you can be without peer review.

10. Send it to beta. Like, seriously, send it to beta because, if nothing else, your beta won’t know what’s supposed to be happening in the scene, so they can tell you if you’ve successfully conveyed what happens. If you have anything in particular you are uncertain about or want help with, ask your beta to pay close attention to it. Seriously, betaing is going to be much more effective if your beta knows what they should be focusing on most.

11. Repeat steps 7 and 8.

12. Title it and write a summary. Feel free to ask your beta for help here.

12. Congrats, you’re done! Transfer it to AO3 from google docs and save it as a draft. AO3 by default puts a space between italics and non-italicized punctuation, so go through your list of those combos and manually delete the extra spaces. Now add your title, tags, and summary. Don’t tag side pairings/pairings the fic doesn’t focus on in the relationship section; if you need to warn readers of them, put them in the additional tag sedition. If you’re writing an ot3+ that isn’t an established, feel free to tag the pieces of the ship involved (e.g. Betty/Jughead/Tabitha would also tag Betty/Jughead, Betty/Tabitha, and Tabitha/Jughead). But if the ot3+ is already popular within fandom, only tag the ot3+. Don’t tag characters who aren’t central to the story. Tag all warnings and kinks involved especially.

I think that’s it? I guess I might have overly walked you through, but that’s the process I recommend. I mean, I don’t always follow all the steps (While I get the gist of character/emotional arcs before I start plotting the smut, I often really nail them down after I’ve decided on the events of the smut because the latter is generally what has me writing the smut in the first place and I tend to get ahead of myself. Things would probably be easier if I didn’t do that though), but they’re good guidelines, I think? Regardless, I hope this helps!

[g0dspeeed]

Burning Love

Request from @leoncharme 

What was supposed to be a relaxing day, turned into one of the strangest visits to Viktor’s clinic that V has ever had.

Hot grease sizzled deliciously in the large wok, the rich smell of savory noodles and synth meat churning V’s stomach even more. She stood near the food stall patiently, her eyes flitting through recent texts sent by practically every fixer in the city.

Ugh, I don’t need another fuckin’ car, she muttered as her eyes scoured all the vehicle offers made in the past few hours. Most were too tempting, too shiny, and V needed way too many eddies to make it happen anytime soon.

Deleting the final offer, V turned to take in the sight before her. The sun was high above the metropolis, caressing the Night City skyline in a golden light and warming the busy streets below. It was an easy heat, bearable, and a strong breeze cooled her off as it sifted through her hair.

Days like these were rare. Aside from the car offers, her inbox was light. There were no pressing contracts, no urgent phone calls from a fixer who needed a person shot, kidnapped, or rescued. No reminders to visit a drop box. No street races. No street fights to prepare for any time soon. Just a preem day for V to relax, eat a hot meal, and spend it with whomever she chose.

Which reminded her.

“Hey, double my order,” she requested.

The vendor nodded, and a smile tugged innocently at V’s lips.

When her noodles were ready, V paid the vendor and started towards her HELLA with a spring in her step.

Today’s gonna be a good one, she thought, allowing that bit of optimism to finally sink in. It’ll be-

A pause.

V barely heard it.

There.

Again, there it was.

The second time there was no mistaking the sound.

A high pitch yelp had caught her attention, followed by a low, pained moan. The source was near, but how close V couldn’t tell. She listened some more, but nothing stood out amongst the traffic.

Part of her thought to ignore it, both the sound and that damned intuition in her gut that said that something was wrong. Agony on the streets of Night City was as common as graffiti and a systemic issue far too big for V to remedy on her own, despite her impulsive need to save nearly everyone she comes across. V helped when she was able and often when she was barely so. Just her nature. Or more so a savior complex.

After lingering for a few more moments V decided to move on. Her noodles were getting cold after all.

Just as her hand pulled on the car’s handle, the sound ruptured again in a louder, more alarming pitch.

This time V quickly whipped around to scan the area with her optics. A tinted blue swept her vision, focus fleeting from object to object in view. It was there, resting against a bench that she spotted him. A clearly distressed man in a white and pink striped shirt was hunched over, sweat glistening on his forehead above a pair of violet visors. A gold chain dangled from his neck, catching a sun beam.

V stepped closer, but right before she could ask him what the hell his problem was, her voice caught in her throat.

Cupping his crotch, the man was naked from the waist down save for a pair of black tennis shoes.

V gasped.

Unfortunately, the stranger heard her. The man turned around and spotted the frozen merc, something like relief laxing his tense expression.

“Hey!” he cried.

He shuffled forward.

V shuffled back.

Her eyes tried to look at anything but what was in his hands. Anything at all.

“Hey, you!” he cried again. “I got to get to a ripper…”

The man’s whole body was trembling, and his voice was overflowing of desperation. She slowly allowed her eyes to fall upon his sweaty face as he panted, seeing his throat bob with each swallow.

Her pity outran her common sense.

“Alright,” V replied, discomfort heavy in her tone and eyes trying their best to look up towards the clouds.

“Great!” he heaved.

V’s brain was still trying to register her predicament, let alone the fact that she agreed to let this half-naked stranger into her car.

“Why’re we standing here?” the man stammered. “To the car! Now!”

A cry left him with enough volume to snap V to her senses.

Quickly, she slid into the driver’s seat. The lunch was placed in the back while her brain was trying to conjure up the fastest way to the nearest ripperdoc.

Though she knew exactly what ripperdoc was the closest, she hesitated. She hated this for him, hated that this weird-ass situation was what she was going to bring to his doorstep. V tried to think of any other clinic that was nearby, anyone at all who was available on such short notice. The reality was, however, that this was an emergency. Any moment the guy’s crotch could set her car ablaze, and ultimately her first option was the best.

When the passenger door slammed shut, dread had already started to climb up from her stomach into her tightening throat.

“Ugh,” groaned the man as their vehicle picked up speed. “Satisfaction guaranteed, they said…”

Ah, she thought. Of course.

V asked if he was referring to the Mr. Stud implant, the provocative ad flashing in her brain. When he confirmed her guess, she hummed in validation. He thanked her for her professionalism, for not being too judgey, given the circumstances. That was the most cordiality her newfound client provided, however, because for the rest of their short ride there was more screaming, moaning, and the demand that she mow down a class of children and pretty much everyone who dared cross their path. Telling him to chill the fuck out didn’t get her anywhere, nor did some scripted words of encouragement.

“Oh, it burns! It burns!” he near screamed, hurting V’s ears.

The moment they arrived at the clinic V didn’t waste any time. She quickly grabbed the bag from the backseat and directed the man to the green, neon sign on the other side of the alley.

“W-Where are you going?” he panted as she took off towards the clinic ahead of him.

“Giving the doc a heads up!” she called from over her shoulder. “Just come this way!”

Two steps at a time, V practically threw herself to the bottom of the clinic’s stairs. Stumbling, she burst inside, the metal gate grinding loudly through its shaft.

Viktor was already on his feet, no doubt startled at the commotion she was causing. Something between a smile and pure shock was spread on the ripperdoc’s face as he greeted the merc.

“Hey, V, where’s the fire-”

“I brought you lunch!”

V moved past him to toss their meal on his workbench. Some of his tools fell loudly to the floor.

“Aw, thanks, kid,” he said with a small smile, allowing himself to be touched by the gesture despite the rising chaos that was building in his clinic. “What’s going-”

“I also brought you a patient!”

Before the words registered, a harsh cry echoed in the large space. Viktor’s eyes snapped to the entrance of the clinic where a sweaty, half-naked man was leaning on the gate’s frame. The man’s hands were planted in the apex of his thighs. A sudden spark caused his body to jolt.

Like a switch, Viktor’s focus became sharp and alert.

“V, the chair,” demanded Viktor. “Stat.”

The merc grimaced as she hoisted the stranger up and led him to the operating chair. Viktor had already sanitized his hands and arms with a quick drying antiseptic by the time the man collapsed in place.

“Due to your compromised state,” began Viktor in a flat drone. V winced at how Viktor shoved his usual stimulant into his forearm, leaving behind a rounded wound that would join the other scars. “I am obligated to act on Article 23.4 of NUSA’s Good Samaritan Law to provide emergency medical care-”

“Shit,” moaned the man, his hands gripping hard at the armrests. “W-What the hell are you talking about? Just do your fuckin’ job!”

“Preem,” muttered the ripperdoc as he jabbed the man’s upper thigh with his medgun. The man yelped. “Pain should subside now.”

V suppressed a smile in response to the dry look that Vik shot her.

“Grab me two ‘Dorphs from that shelf,” he told her, a finger from his exoglove pointing in a general direction. “Need Beauts.”

“On it.”

As V searched his supply, Viktor gathered information from his new patient.

Despite knowing the ripperdoc for as long as she had and walking in on countless operations, seeing Viktor work in such a controlled, level manner calmed V’s nerves as well. A voice as rich as honey had that effect on people. The man made ripper work look easy, multitasking between running diagnostics, checking vitals, and laying a thin, surgical drape on the man’s exposed lap. Viktor kept the conversation flowing, delivering timely ‘mhms’ and repeating specs aloud for the recording program of his computer. He had an ease to his voice, something tranquil and trustworthy, even as Viktor pushed against the man’s chest when the guy tried to rise from the chair.

“Jesse,” warned Viktor calmly. “Easy there.”

If he wanted to put up a real fight, V doubted that Jesse had a chance against Viktor. The patient’s body squirmed under the force of one arm alone.

“Doc, doc, doc, you need to operate,” Jesse argued. “You n-need to-”

“Jesse,” Viktor snapped, and in response the man immediately stilled. Jesse’s lids seemed to then get heavier and his shoulders slumped.

“There we go,” soothed the ripperdoc with a smirk, his body stretching on his rolling stool. “Took your body a while. I gave you a little cocktail of mine, the Vektor special. Should feel nothin’ but good now.”

V set the requested meds on a metal table by his stool. Viktor grabbed one, shook it, and handed it wordlessly to his patient.

Turning on her heel, V was about to dismiss herself from the situation. Her role was fulfilled. The guy was maybe gonna be okay, and even though V interrupted several of Viktor’s appointments, she could at least attempt to respect Doctor-Patient confidentiality. The flaming crotch man seemed like a great place to start.

Just as she started to walk away, she felt a tight grip on her wrist.

“Nuh-uh,” said Viktor lowly, fingers giving a gentle squeeze. “I’ll need ya to stick around for this one, kiddo.”

“Think you got it, Vik,” she said with a grin. “Flaming dicks aren’t really my thing.”

“Oh, I know I got it,” he returned. “And flaming dicks aside, I’d rather have a second pair of hands should things head south. Normally I’d call for Misty, but she’s out today. Besides…”

Viktor rolled in closer to V, an air of confidence about him. V’s eyes narrowed.

“Would love to see you play nurse,” he purred.

A warmth stung her cheeks as she took her wrist back.

“So long as I don’t have to wear an outfit, I’ll help,” she quipped.

“Oh, don’t tempt me.”

The huskiness of his voice made her blush even more.

Viktor winked up at V before he turned his full attention back to his sedated patient.

Her attention, too, travelled back to Jesse as he huffed the med. Then, they fell on the surgical drape in his lap.

“So,” she prompted. “His dick was about to explode.”

Viktor hummed in agreement.

“You don’t, uh, seem that worried about it,” she went on.

A chuckle.

Even Jesse in his laxed state, sat up a bit for an explanation.

“We’re in the clear for now,” answered Viktor. More so to the patient, he added, “Now that you’re calm, your blood pressure isn’t forcing that faulty equipment to activate. Should be smooth sailing if you stay as relaxed as possible.”

“Oh, okay,” replied Jesse dumbly, no longer looking Viktor in the eye, but instead gazing up at the dark ceiling. “Um, what are, what are you going to do exactly, doc?”

“Gonna take that shitty tech out of your junk, Jess, that’s what. Guessing you got it for a steal, right? Black market shit? Some word from the Wise: Don’t ever accept tech that’s too good to be true. Ever. Especially if it’s an implant like this. I mean, you’re lookin’ at a few potential side effects that I can talk to you about after the procedure-”

“Wait, you can’t, like, fix it?”

Viktor sighed.

“Uh, no,” he replied flatly. “Not my specialty. And I don’t plan on being held liable for whatever, eh, works and doesn’t work. I can refer you to a guy I know in Charter Hill though.”

Jesse pouted in response, but after seeing how Viktor wasn’t going to budge on the issue, he consented to the procedure.

As time went by, V kept busy by fetching Viktor whatever supply he requested, whether it be more drugs, sutures, or gauze. Which was fine and ultimately best considering the kind of operation that was taking place. Not that V became squeamish around the sight and smell of blood, no. That wasn’t it. Just the nature of it all, that Vik was repairing a poor man’s augmented penis.

So much for a relaxing, care-free day.

The only saving grace to it all was seeing Viktor in his element. The man shined. He kept Jesse talking, eyes meeting his patient’s and on the monitor in equal measure, while also sounding personable and sincere. They exchanged stories about interests, about boxing matches they’ve seen, hobbies, some boring topics, some piquing her curiosity. Viktor’s voice held the same steadiness no matter the subject, and V’s heart warmed at watching him work with such care. Though she’s been in his operating chair herself probably hundreds of times, it was something special to see him work with someone else, to witness him calm even the most panicked of souls.

A goofy laugh gushed from Jesse, no doubt feeling the effects of all the medication.

“Ah man, you’re just so sexy,” he blurted.

V blinked at the realization that the comment was directed at her.

A listless ‘Mm’ was all she offered.

Viktor kept working, attributing the outburst to the drugs.

“I mean it!” said Jesse, misreading the woman’s lack of response. “You are just so gorgeous. So, so breathtaking. And you helped me-”

“I expect to be paid,” V reminded him.

“Yes, yes, and you deserve to. Yes, you deserve to! Doesn’t she deserve to be paid?”

Viktor offered a close-lipped smile in agreement, preferring to finish the operation as soon as humanly possible with the turn the conversation had taken. Just a few more stitches-

“Do you do advertisements?” continued Jesse, nearly sounding manic. “Do you? A supermodel maybe? You know, like a side gig sorta thing?”

V snorted.

“Nope, can’t say I would even want to, Jesse.”

“Huh, well, you should think about it. You would make a shit ton of eddies if you did, probably more than merc work. Not to objectify you, but like, you totally have the bod for the job.”

Viktor glanced up at V after that comment, his blood boiling at how Jesse’s advice rendered her speechless.

Not missing an awkward beat, Jesse then asked “So are ya single? Or is dating not your thing?”

V squared her shoulders.

“Don’t think you need to know that-”

“Come on! Gimme a hint. I mean, no judgment if you don’t date.”

“Good to know.”

“Yeah, I can keep it loose. What about you?”

Viktor’s jaw started to ache from how hard it was clenched.

“Actually,” said V, her voice perking up. “I am dating someone. And I like the guy. A lot. Pretty solid, so not really looking for anything else right now-”

In a voice that Viktor could only assume was supposed to be a whisper, Jesse said, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt ‘im-”

A clank.

Viktor had put down a pair of surgical scissors so loudly that both Jesse and V jumped.

“V?” questioned the ripperdoc in a terse tone. “Mind grabbin’ our patient here a low-dose ‘Dorph for the road? ‘Bout finished up.”

A heavy sigh of relief left the merc as she headed towards the back of the clinic.

“You’ll need to take two huffs now and two more in an hour or so, okay?” said Viktor to Jesse, annoyed at catching Jesse’s eyes trailing after V.

“That woman,” he started to say, clearly missing what Viktor had said about the meds. “For such a smart mouth, she’s got a great ass, am I right-”

Without warning, Viktor’s fingers smacked the side of Jesse’s face with enough force to make him flinch. Stunned, Jesse immediately looked at Viktor.

Eyes locked on Jesse, Viktor called out to V.

“Hey, V? See any more of that stim I use? You know, the one that I need in case my hand slips?”

Some shuffling sounded from the back.

“Um, yeah,” she shouted. “Why?”

“I just did a lot of good work here on Jesse’s dick. Would hate for something to happen to it at the finish line.”

Jesse swallowed as he could feel the outline of Viktor’s intense stare past the tinted lenses. The ripperdoc sat close to his patient and spoke in a voice so dark that it made Jesse’s hair rise on the back of his neck.

“You’re my patient now, but the moment you step out of here, you’re just any other asshole on the street that hits on V in front of my face. Difference between now and then is that I’ll kick your goddamn teeth out on the curb should I hear another word out of that mouth of yours ‘bout how hot she looks and what the fuck she does with her body. You will pay her. Don’t care if you pay me, but unless you wanna know what the Bradbury sidewalk tastes like I better hear from V by the end of the day that you paid her in full for bringing you into my clinic today or so help you God I don’t find you and get those eddies myself.”

Jesse swallowed before nodding his head.

The only sound that could be heard in the clinic was V’s footsteps. She found it odd how still the men were sitting and how Jesse didn’t acknowledge her presence once she returned to the operating chair.

“Here,” she said to the ripperdoc, but Viktor shook his head at the stimulant she brought.

“You know, I actually think I won’t need it. He’s all set and ready to go. Aren’t you, Jesse?”

The guy would have some balls to respond. As expected, Jesse remained quiet. The ripperdoc’s back popped as he rose slowly from the stool, his body stiff from operating. He continued stretching as he walked towards the locker room area of his clinic to fetch Jesse a pair of stocked sweats that he set aside for patients.

V gave Viktor a questioning look and was met only with another classic wink.

“About my payment,” she began, turning her attention back to Jesse.

Still refusing to look her in the eye, Jesse stated, “I’ll get it to you in an hour.”

The man quickly dressed, thanked Viktor for his services, and rushed out of the clinic without looking back. Based on the smugness that Viktor carried himself with as he wiped down his workspace, V caught onto what happened.

With V’s help, the clinic was cleaned and prepped for the next fortunate soul who sought out Viktor’s care.

The pair were lounging on the ripperdoc’s crusty couch in the back of the clinic, their feet propped up on a stack of boxes with lukewarm takeout in hand.

“Not a fan of Jesse’s career advice, I take it?” teased V with a grin.

Viktor glowered as he swallowed a mouthful of noodles.

“Not a fan of really any advice he gave, no,” he replied coolly.

“Might lose future business,” she mocked, but he was already shaking his head.

“It’s all good. I’m eating lunch with a supermodel. Life can’t get any sweeter.”

[whirlybirdwhat]

Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[quefish77]

Fic Writer's Game

I do love a good tagging game :P Let’s see how this goes!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

174 … but about 30 are drabbles, and 10 or so are links to YouTube videos … Wow, that’s a lot though.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

431, 858. That feels … gosh it feels like a lot, but then I think about my fics and I’m like, “That’s it?” LOL … I guess things feel bigger than they are sometimes :D

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Two. Good omens, and one HP. The HP was written about 15y ago, and then I started in on GO 2y ago. And one GO/RHPS crossover lol

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Effortless Intimacy – The first fic I wrote for GO. An Ace romantic fic post Apocalypse failure.

2. An Angel, A Demon, A Sybian – PWP and exactly what it says on the tin LOL

3. When the Demon Bought a Sybian – PWP prequel to #2 hahaha

4. First One is Free – What ended up being the first fic in my Professional Dom Aziraphale series. Crowley trying to masturbate, and Aziraphale lends his voice to help him out before making a quip about he usual service fee.

5. Ineffable Kinktober 2019: Day 6: Tail – Some D/s playtime, gentle Dom Aziraphale asks for Crowley to manifest a tail for playtime. PWP.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes. Whether it is a keyboard smash, an emoji, or long comment, I always reply. Although, there has been a time or two where someone was bingeing and leaving comments on each chapter, which were lovely ‘thank you’s’, and I did wait and respond to the last one referencing all of their comments.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Human Incarnate. After the trials, Heaven strips Aziraphale of his divinity, and he becomes mortal. He and Crowley try to live their best life until the inevitable happens. Which does, of course. I can’t even think about the last chapter without crying.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve only really written one crossover. The Rocky Omens Picture Show. Crowley and Aziraphale end up at Dr Frank-n-Furter’s castle and are brought in from the rain for a very brief visit.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No hate, but AngelFoodBaking.com readers were quite polarized on the ending and I don’t think people agreed with me, but being a crackfic, there wasn’t really ‘anger’.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I’ve written Ace sensual “smut” (Effortless Intimacy had lots of skin touching and kissing, nothing more, and I also did a 'genitalia-free masturbation' scene in 12. In Water), and I have written PWP unapologetic pornsmut (A New Building Isn't the Only Erection in the Area).

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, recently actually. About 3 weeks after I published a fic, I got a ping that I may want to have a look at a new fic WIP that had just dropped. By the time I finished reading the chapter, I already had multiple people reaching out to me, warning me, asking me if I knew about this … stuff like that. My beta confronted the other writer whose response was “I didn’t think it was too similar”, and then they deleted it. I checked my kudos, the other writer had dropped kudos on my fic 4 days earlier. *Their* beta had the response that they didn’t know how I could think that, and many people defended me that it was “Change enough so the teacher doesn’t know you cheated”, but definitely my fic, with one actual change. (Aziraphale was being abused in the other fic, in mine he was woefully underinformed but in a cute/cracky kind of way, not sinister). I had over 20 other writers who read both agreeing with me, I sent blind copies of both chapters to a teacher, a few friends, a copy/proofer friend of a friend … I knew I had been stolen from, but if there was any doubt from anywhere, I would have felt terrible. Every person who read them had differing opinions on content, if they liked it, ‘this felt better’, etc. Some of my friends preferred the other one. But every person came back with, “Whoever wrote first was stolen from.” … This wrecked me for a week. Being stolen from, having someone insist I had falsely accused someone of stealing, waiting for all the results to come back from blind readers. The other writer ended up ‘reworking’ and reposting, and I haven’t even clicked on it.

The beta also had the unmitigated gall to say this to a chatroom full of writers: "The first chapter has certain resemblances, which is not surprising given they were writing to the same prompt." .… meaning that they were completely discarding the ‘two cakes’ theory in favor of the ‘there is no such thing as originality’ theory. Which … to a room of writers, is a BOLD statement to make. So, I tested that theory. If I, one person with only one brain, could come up with multiple completely different takes on a single prompt. I am up to three active WIPs posted. If I can not copy myself, I sure as fuck expect a completely separate person to be able to not copy me. The Series can be found here: The Doctor Will See You Now.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of 😊

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? It was more that @caedmonfaith and I were ripping back and forth in Discord and then she put it in actual words like a real writer and asked if she could post it (which, of course?!) The Grammar Lesson

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Definitely Aziraphale and Crowley.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Courtship of Crowley. It had so much potential, and I feel terrible every time I see it in my docs ☹

15) What are your writing strengths?

I think I have very good character voices. Even if the surrounding bits aren’t as good as I think they are, I think the spoken parts are good 😊

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a problem with letting an action stand on its own in a sentence without adding more. “He pulled on his trousers and checked his phone.” “He made breakfast and then sat down.” I think that I need to break up my sentences more, I abuse ‘and’ and ‘then’ a lot.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have put in other languages a couple times, and I am always paranoid that someone who speaks that language is going to call me out for obviously using Google translate because it syntax’d terrible lol

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP – Snermione.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Droit du Seigneur (medieval transgender Aziraphale) was probably the most … meaningful? It hit a lot of personal points of gender identity, sexuality, etc. Much in the same way that Effortless Intimacy did. The funniest thing I ever wrote was probably It’s Technically Just Sweat. Crowley’s tattoo and Aziraphale’s ring have a tryst. But, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best thing I have ever written, and will never top, is The Perfectly Unproblematic Good Omens Fanfic.

So, tagging @tawnyontumblr and @caedmonfaith, @redundant-angel, and whoever else is interested!

[omgbigfluffwriting]

Sealed With A Kiss Chapter 1

[Spencer's POV]

I still remembered the call I had gotten from my soulmate's mother as I was working on my Chemistry doctorate when my color vision wavered, telling me that Gabby had been in a near fatal car accident and had been put into a medically induced coma to save her life.

"Spencer, it pains me to ask this of you since you're Gabby's soulmate but I'm going to need you to stay away from her. She's in that coma for a reason." I agreed immediately. I loved Gabby and would do anything for her. I assumed the coma was keeping her alive since the color in my vision never wavered again.

Since I liked teaching, I'd gotten a job at Georgetown University for a couple of semesters teaching Criminology and it could be a permanent job if I wanted it. So I was shocked to see the love of my life walk into the classroom, ask Ruby if anyone was sitting next to her and when Ruby replied in the negative, sat down.

Suddenly, the room filled and the bell rang. "Good morning, I am Dr. Spencer Reid and welcome to Criminology. Professor Clarke needed to step away, so I am covering for her the next two semesters." I started handing out the copies of the class syllabus as I continued talking.

When I reached Gabby, I mentally tested her telepathy. There was a blockage keeping me from mentally talking to her, so I move on.

I took attendance and I know that my voice was a little strange when I called out her name.

--

[Gabriella's POV]

I never expected to have my childhood best friend be my Criminology Professor. It seems kind of weird but whatever. I don't exactly remember my childhood and early teen memories thanks to the car accident that nearly took my life in the year before my last at high school. I decided to go to college to earn my bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice at 31 and I was on my last year at age 35.

That day I was determined to be early. When I was a child, my best friend Spencer Reid described me as a chicken with its head cut off due to my spacing out. He never meant it to be cruel, just a matter of fact.

Criminology was my second class of the day, after English. Professor Clarke was supposed to be teaching it and nobody took it seriously... at least those who weren't studying Criminal Law like I was.

However, when I walked into the classroom...I didn't see the middle-aged woman I knew to be Professor Clarke. Standing at the whiteboard was a tall, skinny man, with shoulder length messy brown hair wearing black slacks with a purple vest, lilac dress shirt and white tie. His converse shoes made him look younger than he was. Somehow, he seemed familiar.

There were a few girls already present in the room. I took my seat next to a girl in blue named Ruby Darley. We introduced ourselves and Ruby whispered, "What do you want to bet that most of these girls are not majoring in Criminal justice?"

"Hm, let me get back to you on that." I whispered back. "Wait, why do you ask?" I asked.

"Wait until the professor turns around." Ruby said with a grin. I raised my eyebrow at her. By this time the classroom was full. The professor turned around and looked at all of us. He had large hazel eyes which looked brown, honey brown to be exact and looked like he should be a model, rather than a college professor.

"Good morning, I am Dr. Spencer Reid and welcome to Criminology. Professor Clarke needed to step away, so I am covering for her the next two semesters." He started handing out our copies of the class syllabus as he continued talking. His name tickled my memory but I'd had an accident in my junior year of high school that I almost died from so my childhood memories and early teen years were pretty fuzzy. One could say that they were good as deleted.

When he got to me, he handed me the syllabus but his eyes narrowed. I raised my eyebrow at him, hoping I wasn't being rude. Apparently, I didn't have what he was looking for, because he continued to hand out syllabuses.

"What was that about?" Ruby whispered to me. I shrugged as Doctor Reid went back to the front of the class. He took attendance and his voice was a little strange when he called out my name.

"Present," I say as I doodle on my writing notebook.

Dr. Reid thoughtfully nodded and wrote something down on his piece of paper.

--

[Spencer's POV]

After class, I wanted to call Gabby up and see why she didn't recognize me. But she slipped out before I had the chance. So I found myself contacting Garcia to do a search for the girl I loved. "You've reached the all-knowing BAU Oracle." Garcia said.

"Hi Garcia do you have a moment?" I asked. I heard Garcia snort.

"For you, 187, I have all the time in the world." Garcia joked. "What do you need Doc?" I take a deep breath. I hope that wherever she is, she's happy.

"I need you to look up someone for me. Her name is Gabriella Chambers, born May 19th 1983." I heard Garcia's fingers type rapidly.

"It says here that she's living in Washington D.C. right now and attending the university that you're teaching at, Boy Wonder." Garcia reported. "Her grades are impeccable. I'm not going to lie, I'm impressed, 187." Garcia's voice sounded impressed with Gabby's grades. I was impressed myself since she had always struggled with Math during childhood.

I nodded. Then, realizing she can’t see me: "Could you dig into her medical records? She should have recognized me today." I asked. Garcia made a noise of assent and typed even more.

I was about to hang up when she said, "Oh my God. She was involved in a car accident her junior year of high school and would've died if it hadn't been for the three year medically induced coma doctors put her through. As a result, she has extreme retrograde amnesia and the doctors don't expect her childhood and early teen memories to return." I felt a rock fall to the pit of my stomach. So all the memories I shared with her were just gone, like they never happened?

What about that pact we made when she was 5 and I was 7, if we were both over 30 and single that we'd marry each other? Did she truly not remember our first kiss when I was 16?

"You're in love with her." Garcia cut into my reverie. "I'm sorry 187. I didn't think... well if you can't get her memories to return, there's always a blank slate you can start with." Tears fell down my face. I did not want to start afresh with her. Yet I may have to.

I start putting away my things in order to get ready to leave when the door opened and Gabby walked in. She approached me cautiously, testing the waters.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Reid, but you seem awfully familiar to me and I can't place meeting you anywhere."

I could work with 'awfully familiar'! "Actually . . . we were childhood friends." I said and pulled the picture of us when she was 7 and I was 9 out of my messenger bag for proof. I was pushing her on a swing in the picture.

"I don't remember." She said sadly and handed the picture of us back to me. "I was in an accident and have problems with my long term memories." I bit my lip.

"Would you like to come back to my apartment with me? I have the letters you wrote me before we lost contact." I offered but she shook her head.

"No, it's okay. I just wanted to know why you were so familiar." She said. "I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone.

----

[Gabby's POV]

I rushed home. There was no way in hell that I'd known Dr. Reid during the period of time that I was missing... I dug out what I called my photography box. On the top was the very same picture that Dr. Reid had shown me. It must have been a favorite of mine. I was astonished to find a handful of pictures that contained the two of us and a bunch of letters tied with a length of ribbon. My mother had saved every letter he'd written me.

The letters indicated that we were close, probably close enough to eventually fall in love with the other. I could see me doing that. Dr. Reid was attractive, definitely my type. I was so engrossed in the letters that if the knock on my door hadn't been as loud as it was, I would have missed it.

"Coming." I set my almost finished bundle of Dr. Reid's letters on top of my bed and answered the door. Dr. Reid was standing on my doorstep.

"I'm just a few doors down from you but . . . here." Dr. Reid handed me a second bundle that's tied with a baby blue ribbon. Mine was tied with a hot pink ribbon.

"Okay I'll get these back..." I started. "Keep them. I have an eidetic memory, so I can recall them whenever I want. See you tomorrow." He started to walk away but I caught his arm in time. He turned to look at me.

"I have the letters you wrote to me." I say. "You seem so... painfully different from when you wrote those letters. Tell me what happened?"

He starts to consider it but then freezes. "It'll be best for you to remain my student. I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Chambers." He said and yanked his arm from my grasp. I gasped at the unspoken consequence, that if I can't do that, then I should drop his class.

"Why are you being so cold?" I call after him. He doesn't answer. Anyways, have I already met my soulmate? I've always seen in color though there were a few times during 2006 that I blacked out for no reason at all...

---

[Spencer's POV]

I had to blink back tears as I head back to my own apartment. It's best for her if I remain Dr. Spencer Reid in her eyes. She'll be safer when I return to the BAU after my reinstatement requirements are met.

The moment I get into my apartment, I truly crumble to the floor and let go. It feels like I've lost the two women I have ever loved to tragic fates - Maeve because she was murdered and Gabby because of a car accident. Technically, I didn't lose Gabby, she was still alive but the amnesia was worse than death in my opinion. I wondered what had made her lose such a big amount of her long-term memories. I had been such an integral part of her childhood...

It would be better to keep my distance and let her marry someone else who can keep her safe from the monsters I face on a daily basis.

--

[Spencer's POV]

The next morning I walked into the Criminology class to see that Gabby was the first student in the classroom, going over an assignment I had handed out yesterday for homework. She looked up and then looked back down at the paper.

"Need help?" I asked her. She shook her head. I wandered over to her desk. The classroom was empty and I owed her an explanation about my behavior last night. "Look," I murmured. "Last night was a..."

"Disaster seems like a good word for it," Gabby said, looking up sternly and giving me a pissed look. I sighed.

"The thing is, I'm trying to protect you." She looked up at me with impatience. "Have you ever heard of the Behavioral Analysis Unit?" I asked, looking at her.

"Who hasn't?" Gabby asked. "They're the nation's elite at criminal profiling." I nod.

"I'm part of that unit. I've put countless criminals away who would love to hurt you to get to me. It's safer for you if we keep the relationship to that of teacher and student." I admitted, not for the first time.

"Safer..." Gabby snorted. "Dr. Reid, I read all of your letters that you sent me before my accident last night. There's no way in hell that I'll believe you're capable of staying at a teacher/student relationship with me." The door opened and I returned to the front, clearly pissed off. Ruby Darley walked in as I faced the whiteboard to hide my expression, furiously writing.

"Wow, Dr. Reid looks pissed. Did one of those girls proposition him?" I wanted to turn around and tell Ms. Darley I could hear her but considering the argument Gabby and I just had, it wasn't a good idea.

"No, Dr. Reid's mad at me." I hear Gabby say as she opened her notebook.

"You didn't!" Ms. Darley said in shock. "Quite frankly, I didn't have you pegged as one of the girls who would actually go and f**k a professor for the hell of it."

"I didn't proposition him," Gabby says through her teeth. "It was over something else."

I now turned around and said, "Ms. Darley, what occurred between Ms. Chambers and I is quite naturally between us. If she chooses to tell you, she may but please refrain from making comments like that." I resume my writing but still listened in. The girls changed the subject.

"I can't believe that assignment Professor Callaghan gave us today for English," Ruby complained.

"Well, we are reading Anne of Avonlea." I hear Gabby say with a snort. "I went through the papers my mom saved from my elementary school days." I wonder if she's saying this for my benefit... "There was this boy I had a crush on. I wrote him a letter based on the Anne books."

"Did you ever give it to him?" Ruby asked.

"No, I was too shy to give him the letter in that instance," Gabby says. I'd never thought of her being shy.

"So what's going on between you and Dr. Reid?" I kind of wanted to know myself, so I listened.

"Childhood friends and I don't remember him," Gabby answered a bit tersely. "He was acting like a jackass last night." I raised an eyebrow at her comment.

"So would you?" Ruby asked. I wondered what Ruby was asking Gabby.

Some sort of nonverbal exchange must've happened because I heard, "Hell no!" I turned around and raised an eyebrow at the two women. Ruby wrote something down and passed it to Gabby.

"C'mon, he's clearly listening and I don't feel like explaining myself." She hissed.

"It's a yes or no question, Gabby." Ruby said, giving her a look.

"Drop *it* !" Gabby hissed again as I was just about to come over to their table to see what was written on the paper sitting between them like a high school teacher.

"You're not getting out of answering." Ruby says as she puts the note away and the classroom fills.

[fatandnerdy30]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider 14

I do apologize for the somewhat boring chapter, but we've gotta have some dialect, right? Haha. 

 But, I will tell you, I have a lot already written, with hopefully plenty more to come! I just want to say a big thank you to all the readers and commenters, and everyone who voted or favorited this crazy dip into my fluff filled mind! Until next time, everyone!

A flying ant buzzed by a guard's ear and he swatted it away. The man on the ant swung a little in the saddle, but managed to hold on. "Hope, watch the guard, he's got a sissy swing," he joked.

"Not that I don't appreciate your humor, but please focus on the mission," Hope said, mirth in her voice anyway.

Scott smiled as he straightened the ant he was riding. He flew as high as he could to to keep out of the way of the agents, all carrying guns. This was going to be hard. He heard shouting ahead of him and turned Antonia to the door it was coming from. Landing his mount on the florescent light above two people, he laid on his stomach and peeked over the edge. Below him the lab was a mess, there were beakers broken, with a rainbow of different colored liquids spilled all over the floor.

"What do you mean you refuse!?" a man screamed, German accent thick in his anger. "Do you forget who has your family!?"

Scott gasped. "Hope, they have Sean's family."

"I know. Mom's on it as we speak."

"Thanks for telling me!" he whisper shouted.

"Well, we didn't have time, and why are you whispering?"

"I don't know!" Scott huffed. "Women, am I right?" he asked Antonia, who cocked her head. "Sorry."

The men were now in a stare down, the red head standing his ground. "I am not hurting another child!" The man spoke with a Scottish brogue, which added to his presence. "You killed all those kids in the lab because you were scared of the Avengers. And you have every right to be!"

The German man pulled out a phone. Why did he look so familiar to Scott? "You know all I have to do is make a phone call and your family is as good as dead!"

"And you will lose everything I have made." Sean threatened and pulled out a handheld tablet. "Every file in the system on my work is on this tablet. You call, I press delete." His finger hovered above the screen, eyes challenging the now angry German man.

"Then all I have to do," he pulled out a gun, and Scott cursed. "Is kill you."

"Hope! Bloom's gonna kill the doc!" That was his name! Octavion Bloom! What a stupid name for a guy.

"Stop him!" Hope's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Scott nodded and jumped off the light and pressed the button on his right hand. He grew to his normal size and kicked the gun from the German man's hand, then shrunk back down, running along the floor. He saw a shadow above him and looked to see a giant boot coming down on top of him. "Oh no!" he cried, then pressed his right hand again and shot up, kicking the man, then grabbing Sean. "We've gotta get outta here!"

"Pym?" the doctor asked, shock in his voice and all over his face.

"Oh," Scott let the helmet flip away from his face. "I'm Scott Lang..I'm Ant-Man," he said proudly. "But, you didn't want to know that. Um, I work with Hank Pym?"

At that name, relief lit in the man's eyes."So he is still alive."

"Yeah, but I think this would be better discussed elsewhere." Scott tried to drag the man out, but he resisted.

"My family! I can't go! They have my wife and daughters!"

"They're okay," Scott said with a smile. "Janet, Hank's wife, probably has them in her care right now." Sean sighed, but then his eyes went wide and stared down at the spot beginning to grow on his stomach.

Scott watched it happen almost as if he were small and everything was going in slow motion. The blood on the man's lab coat, spreading almost like thick fruit punch, the look on the man's face; pain and shock. Lang didn't know what happened, until Sean fell to his knees and there stood Bloom, holding a bloody knife, a sick smile on his face.

"Hope," Scott said, shock lacing his voice. "We have a problem."

The woman then appeared next to him, staring in shock. "Dr. O'Cleary," she whispered, catching the man as he fell. "I'm Hank's daughter, Hope."

Scott had attacked the other man the moment she arrived and had punched him, knocking him out.

"Hope," the man breathed, his chest rattling. "That was the name.....your father loved. . Tell me...Is at least one of the children from the lab alive?" He needed at least one survivor to not feel like a failure.

Hope nodded. "Yes. A boy named Peter. He's alive and safe."

Sean smiled, tears in his eyes. "Good. He didn't deserve any of this. No one did or does...." He then brought the tablet up and before she could say anything, pushed the button to erase his files.

The woman grabbed the blinking tablet and tried to undo the damage, but it was too late. "No, no!" she looked at Sean. "Why? We could have saved Peter, fixed him!"

Sean shook his head and coughed. "Don't want your father's work in anyone's hands." The Dr. smiled as he took his last breath, lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Damnit!" she shouted. They'd failed in so many ways. She felt like the fate of that boy was weighing on her shoulders and it got so much heavier.

Scott was by her side in an instant, a hand on her shoulder and felt a little of the weight coming off by his presence. She wasn't alone in this.

"Come on, Hope....let's get out of here, it's getting too dangerous to stay." The sound of an alarm was blaring all around them with lights flashing. Already he could hear boots hitting against the metal floor, getting louder.

The woman nodded and got up, leaving the man on the floor, but took the tablet, placing a reducing disk on it and shrinking down, then pressing the remote to shrink the tablet down as well. If anything, they would have the remnants of Dr. O'Cleary's work, and hopefully if her parent's couldn't get the files back, Tony Stark would cooperate with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter was getting so bored sitting in his room all day alone. He did have Morgan to talk to, but she was at a friend's house right now. So, at the moment he was sitting up on a pillow with a makeshift pencil Mr. Stark had brought in for him. The man had come in with a Cheshire grin holding a long piece of lead like you would find in a mechanical pencil wrapped with a piece of plastic that made it look almost like a pen to Peter.

The boy was grateful to hold the tool, to feel its almost familiar form in his grasp. But, the note book the man had brought was HUGE! He'd brought him the largest notebook he could find as a joke, but the funny thing was, Peter loved it. The lines on the paper were as tall as he was, so it made it a little harder for bigger people to read.

The boy was busy with his newest chemistry formula when there was a knock on his door and Dr. Banner's head poked in. "Hello there, Peter." The man walked into the room, greeting the boy with a big smile, shaking his head when he saw the notebook being used again. "Came to check on my favorite patient."

Peter laughed. "I'm your only patient." Dr. Banner had been coming multiple times a day the past three days, and Peter had gotten more comfortable with the scientist, which is what he suspected the man wanted.

"Very true. Well, I came to do a final check up. If you're all clear, you can get out of bed." Bruce chuckled at the look on the boy's face as he leaned over the bed, offering his hand. "Same as yesterday." When the boy climbed onto his hand, the doctor reached into his pocket to bring out his magnifying lens. "Any pain or stiffness anywhere?" he asked as he looked at the boy's ankle.

"Nope."

"Good. Move it up and down. Very good. Now, left to right. Now in a circular motion clockwise and counterclockwise." The boy did everything with no pain and easy, fluid motions. The scientist in him was geeking out. It only took the boy three days to fully heal, and his ankle had been severely damaged, practically crushed under the piece of asphalt. It was remarkable. He moved Peter to the nightstand, setting his hand down. "Okay, so how are you walking?"

Peter stepped off the palm and walked around the nightstand without a limp or showing pain whatsoever. "So am I cleared?"

Banner chuckled and nodded. "You have the all clear."

The boy whooped for joy, almost loosing his washcloth toga he was given since the Thor costume he was wearing got destroyed. He remembered Tony giving him something Morgan had given him.

"I have a gift from Morgan. She made it originally, but Pepper sewed it. Tony gave it to me since I see you the most at the moment." He reached into his jeans pocket and brought out the suit the girl had made from the boy's old uniform. Bruce was sure it looked better than it did with the duct tape, but the stitches were pretty visible.

Peter smiled and took the offered clothing, staring at it like it was made of gold. "I'm gonna go change," he finally said, his voice cracking. The fact that Morgan had made him something he could wear, well that meant it was special to him. Once he was in his little 'bathroom', he looked the new suit over. The chest, stomach and the top of his arms were red, while the rest of the suit was blue.

The girl had given it legs instead of the dress like style it originally was, and somehow had taken the Hydra symbol off the back of it. "I wonder if she still has that symbol," he wondered, having an idea for it.

Peter put it on and even noticed there was a small button in the back of the neck that he was able to close by himself. He would have to thank Pepper for doing that for him. When he was finished, he wished he'd had a mirror to look the back over, but, he stepped out, arms held out. "What do you think?" Apparently Morgan had the same eye for detail as her father as it fit him perfectly.

"Oh, very stylish," Mr. Stark's voice came from behind the doctor. "Hey you two. Came to tell you dinner's ready." He walked into the room and smirked down at the boy. "What did the good doctor say?" he asked Bruce.

"I gave him the all clear."

"That's great! Now you can move about, scurry along and whatever it is you do. Bruce and I will meet you in the kitchen." He patted the doctor on the shoulder, smirking at the delighted look on the boy's face. He left the room, and a second later, Bruce followed him.

"Are you insane? He could get hurt!"

"He won't get hurt. I'll just tell everyone they have to be careful where they walk from now until the kid's fixed. If Morgan can do it, so can they. Speaking of Mighty Mouse, anything new?"

Bruce shook his head. "Not yet. That Sean guy is a genius. He was actually able to hide the genetic makeup of the serum so well, that even looking at the serum, if that's what they used, you can't tell what it's made of because one chemical takes over the entire chemical compound and I can't see past it. I even had Friday run diagnostics and she couldn't break down the chemicals. I have no clue how he did it, but I want to meet this man."

They walked out into the kitchen where the group was seated at the large table. "Why does everyone gather on my floor?" Tony complained with a smirk.

"You have the best food," Clint said around a bite of stew, making the others laugh.

"Is Peter with you?" Wanda asked, her eyes looking them up and down.

"Yeah, he'll be along in a minute," Tony said sitting down. "I told him that from now on he'd be able to travel by himself."

A bunch of tableware hit plates. "What?" Steve asked, getting to his feet, gaze roaming the floor. "Are you insane?"

"No. The kid proved himself during the battle. He kept Morgan safe. So, from now on, you'll have to watch where you step if you want to keep gathering here."

Sam clicked his spoon against his bowl as he looked up. "I was wondering about that! How did he pull Morgan up? At his size, it should be impossible!"

Bruce nodded. "Yes, it should be. But, that may be another ability coming through. We'll have to do some tests. Or it could be when he was...well, shrunk, his mass was affected, giving him stronger muscles. We won't know until he's back to normal."

"So, that kid could basically be Steve but with the ability to crawl up walls?" Natasha made a face. "Just what we need."

Tony shrugged. "So, we'll train him, starting now. Starting with the tests. It's that easy." He sipped from his bowl, which was brought over by his wife.

"Just be careful with him," Pepper warned. "He may be enhanced, but he's still only three inches tall." The team nodded.

"So no throwing dump trucks at the kid," Rhodey joked. "Got it."

@sparrowrider @letsbeinspiredby @carttorchdeatth @6inchicon @ixlovexirondad

[libra-writes]

11/11/11 tag game

i was tagged by both @flyingfalconflower12 and @corsairesque (thank you both!) so i guess i’m doing both lol (i am posting this so late sorry i’ve been lazy)

1. what are 3 words to describe your WIP?

adventure, magic, love (wow so original)

2. how did you decide on your WIP’s title?

oh boy, so basically my titles are either placeholders that I think sound cool or something really significant from the story

3. what’s your favorite genre to write?

fantasy of any and all types

4. what’s your favorite genre to read?

... also fantasy

5. do the names of your characters have any significance?  if so, what?

i think that maybe some of them might?? but usually its whatever i think sounds cool or has the right ~vibe~

6. do you come up with plots or characters first when planning a story?

it totally depends on the story tbh, but generally i come up with the characters first

7. are you writing more than one WIP?

yes, too many, it’s a problem

8. how many main characters do you have?  why?

usuallyyyy i have anywhere from 2-4 main characters (often more tho) and that stems from me getting too attached and making them a bigger part of the story than originally intended whoops

9. what’s the scene you think you wrote best in your WIP?

oh no, um, i mean there’s this part in embrace the storm where Temerita finally gets her magic and i kinda like that one?

10. which of your characters do you think you’d be best friends with in real life?

probably Lia and Temerita because they’re like more lowkey than everyone else 

11. if your main characters were writers (assuming they’re not) what would they write about?

mmm i think most of them would write fantasy and adventure 

1. Do you create playlists for your stories or characters?

yes! it’s a lot of fun

2. What is your stance on endings that don’t end with some hope?

gross, miss me with that

3. What author would you love to hear feedback from on your WIP?

ok so i’m not entirely sure what this question is talking about so??

4. What is the genre of your WIP(s)?

fantasy/scifi, it’s basically all i write

5. How do you come up with new ideas for your WIP(s)?

i don’t honestly? they kinda beam themselves into my head and my brain just goes into overdrive mode coming up with stuff

6. What do you use to keep all your writing on? (Scrivener, Google Docs, good old pen and paper…)

i have a lot of stuff on google docs, but also like a million half-filled notebooks that go back to elementary school, it’s an absolute nightmare to find things in them

7. What gave you initial inspiration for your WIP(s)?

i honestly don’t even remember anymore most of them weren’t really even inspired by anything at the beginning

8. How long have you been working on your WIP(s)?

it honestly depends - embrace the storm is super new, the kingmakers has been languishing in my google docs for about a year, and walk between the stars i started writing three years ago with my friends when we were bored in science class, but i’ve just started truly writing them recently

9. What was the first thing you came up with for your WIP(s)?

plot for embrace the storm, both plot and characters for walk between the stars, and characters for the kingmakers

10. Have you considered Hogwarts houses for your characters? If so, what are they?

yes, but there’s so many that it would take too long to list them

11. What do you find easiest to write? (Description, dialogue, etc.)

description and inner thoughts probably, i have sooo many problems with dialogue and action

questions for other people:

which character do you have the most fun writing?

do you have a cheerleader for your writing (friend, family, etc)?

have you ever cried writing a scene for your wip?

do you take personality tests for your characters?

do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

do you plan plot twists, or do they just appear?

where’s your favorite place to write?

do you ever have to completely delete characters?

what’s your favorite part of the writing process?

what’s the longest thing you’ve ever written?

do you ever want to get published, and with which story?

im too tired to actually look for people to tag, so just anyone feel free to do this!

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well):