#which has got me thinking about the nature of grief and friendship and all that

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Grief Is

(Inspired by MyHouse.wad, so could potentially be a little spoiler-y. Perhaps go and experience it for yourself before reading on. Unless you don't care, in which case cool)

Grief is the phantom of a Discord ping, echoing through your head as you check again and again, hoping that this time they'll come back.

Grief is a two-headed dog that bays for your blood. Never resting, never relenting, it will not stop until it has you between its jaws.

Grief is a familiar world made strange and frightening, warping and fraying around you as you flail for something, anything, to break your neverending fall.

Grief is a robber that spirits your very breath away. Through black smoke and murky water, the very act of living becomes an unbearable ordeal.

Grief is wishing you could fall into a mirror, live another life, just for one last chance at something real.

Grief is a plane forever losing altitude, forever doomed to crash. It is at once unstoppable force, immovable object, and catastrophic impact.

Grief is a beach where time's corpse lies rotting in the sun. Caught in its snare, every instant asking what-if becomes its own eternal hell.

[tiredassmage]

veilguard thoughts!

rook + solas parallels edition

spoilery ofc because my head's not full of cotton balls today and i haven't stopped chewing on it all since i finished the game! so! this is a little endgame heavy; you've been warned for what's below the cut <3

the final first playthrough counter has come in just over 67 hours and i am all but physically holding myself back from launching right into another one with another rook because i had a blast. i'll concede it was a bit heavy on the exposition in the first several hours, but what followed has certainly won my heart, and i think the game is visually beautiful.

but i'm not even looking to do a full review here, but i think one of the most fascinating things this game did was set up rook and solas. so, two parts of preface then: one, i was a little determined to love this game and hoped it would at least perform decent. that's my spite about it, lol, but that's not the point, so we're not here about that. two, one of my admitted concerns when they had first announced this game having its own protagonist was... that i wasn't sure there was another person to finish solas's story other than the inquisitor, and this isn't a solavellan thing for me, though my beloved canon inquisitor is a lavellan. solas's friendship wasn't the biggest hitch in inquisition for me, but it was important to my inquisitor. he wanted to prove his friend wrong.

i don't believe hallaren had a plan at the time for how to achieve that. he wasn't sure it was actually possible to convince solas the dalish were not as lost a cause as he seemed to believe, but he had to try.

and when i started veilguard, i wouldn't say i'd have anticipated the parallels of solas and rook, nor how well they ended up working for me. i admit: they got me. i didn't see that twist coming. and the hindsight of losing varric from the beginning makes a lot hurt (i say that as a compliment). i think it's easy enough to explain why i didn't see it, why (my, at least) rook didn't puzzle it out, but i also readily admit i'm historically bad at seeing these kinds of things, so you're free to be amused on your own time, lol.

anyway. regret. not becoming what you hate, what you claim to fight against. not being beholden to what you were or what you've lost. the game hits these beats several times, and i think its a real beautiful repeating thing they've done if you hammer all the companion's stories with the main deal, and i did the memories of the dread wolf as well. rook and the inquisitor have a conversation about it that about touches on all of it way more eloquently than i could summarize.

and, of course, part of the reveal is solas did dabble with blood magic on the matter of varric's death, did set rook up for the level of regret and grief they must settle with to trap them in the fade - a prison fit for gods, a prison fit for a god's regrets.

and this is where i transition into blorbo-specific thoughts. because i think part of what fascinates and delights me so much about the rook and solas, potentially two sides of the same coin deal is how tyr's relationship with solas starts and then develops.

tyr does not trust solas from the outset. which i think is where a very interesting presentation of similar (at their roots) choices begins, as varric says: in a bar, as all good stories. one of the first story notifications we get is how rook chooses to handle the bar owner: charm your way out, or a more direct approach, and we're told varric takes note of this.

varric's own plan is an appeal to solas's nature. to talk his way out. as is varric's way.

normally, i'd call tyr the kind of character (having played with him as an oc in various medias for oh... going on 2 years, is it? maybe 3? time's fake, different post) to also prefer talking his way out. but he doesn't believe solas will listen. so he rebukes varric's plan of just waltzing up and charming him with his babygirl eyes.

then at d'meta's crossing, he spares the mayor. not because he doesn't hear the concern that the greedy bastard will fall to said greed again, and not out of an entirely conscious mandate for live with the consequences of your actions, but... in hindsight with other choices, i'd argue it's... from at least a little of that kind of place.

he tries and fails to reason with the first warden. several times. in the heat of weisshaupt, and with the recent conversation with solas about whatever it takes on his mind, he ends up decking the man. the stakes are too high for risking the first warden staying on his high horse again if another attempt at reason fails, is the driver of the decision.

i'd chewed for a while on how that would seem to make tyr's commitment to "talking things through" indicated by that first choice in the bar inconsistent. it all seems justifiable at the time, and he didn't get to the place with the first warden he was out of intentional malice, but he still wound up there.

much of that is natural by the circumstances he was presented. by making calls with the information and under the conditions that were present at the time, as anyone, not just rook, would have to do under such circumstances, if they traded places. sure, some of it is also by solas's engineering of his conversations with rook. by setting them up to be a leader asked to make those hard calls. maybe even for arguably goading them a bit into a situation where whatever it takes was their only feasible option. which neve has a great comment on:

this is, i think, most directly about varric's death, but also, personally, i have to say is applicable for solas's intervention during blood of arlathan.

so, back to blorbo for a moment. tyr begins from a place that mistrusts solas's motives. the I'm quoting you here, "lies, treachery, and rebellion" kind of mistrust. and then, as things progress, as the team unveils more about solas's past in the crossroads and through the murals, it circles back to what I think motivated much of his comment to varric that talking with solas wouldn't work: that even if solas has any regret for what's happened, he's too stubborn to concede, too trapped by the mistakes of that past to ever admit fault, to hear himself sound like the 'gods' he claims to despise. tyr continues to take solas's advice into consideration the whole time, true, because it's... hard to discount the only potentially close to the problem kind of advice and knowledge they don't... exactly otherwise have themselves. he's not sure what the other shoe dropping in that equation is going to look like, but he's more convinced it'll happen than he is entirely happy with the situation.

the murals create... a hunch. or develop it. that rather than just being too prideful about the harm he'll cause by tearing down the veil, that solas is trapped in this plan by his regrets and guilt for actions of the past. at that point, tyr... has a better understanding about how they got to this point, but it kind of only solidifies his reservations that solas might actually be reasoned with.

the one moment this is changed, then, is during blood of arlathan. because frankly i think that was one of the worst experiences tyr has in the entire game. elgar'nan's influence in their minds, and an incident where they're trapped with no conceivable way out and potentially facing down an archdemon again, not so long after weisshaupt that the losses have stopped aching.

whatever his reasons or motivations and whatever else happens, solas saves their lives. tyr can't find a way around that one, and he's not even certain he wants to. because it's one of the definitive moments where he didn't have a plan, and he was terrified the tables had finally turned against them, and they'd fail.

it's not... trust. but tyr's also spent all this time working with his team on this concept that change shouldn't exactly be beyond anyone if there's a little effort put in. and whatever his own feelings are, varric wanted to believe in his old friend, and so does the inquisitor - both people he respects greatly, and he's constantly calculating their desire for a better outcome into the rubix cube that is trying to figure out how to stop the gods.

the problem then, is that solas all but instantly takes advantage of this... lapse. this faint relaxation of tyr's guard against his manipulations. that whole little incident with the fade after ghilan'nain's fall is all but immediately after, and its a betrayal nearly thrice or so over in rapid succession: that varric's been dead this whole time, that solas has manipulated him and how he feels responsibility for the team and the regrets that arise out of having to make hard choices, especially in times like these, and then on the other side of the fade, that solas has gone to minrathous, solas is playing "hero" about it all in tyr's and the shadow dragons' backyard. and to add salt to the wound, in minrathous, it's been blood magic all along.

and, y'know. solas says sorry, says he won't tear down the veil by his own hand, but hands rook the weapon to do it for him. sets them up again. so maybe that's more like... four or five times, depending on your count and categorization of it all.

and rook has a choice about all of this to make, a certain level of peace they have to make with it all to even get out of the fade. and how much to follow varric's advice about don't become what you hate - what you were fighting all along, or trapped by what you lost.

here's tyr's opinion that solas has more than likely been beyond reason because he's too far gone on his own path to even see that he's done exactly that: that he talks like elgar'nan's control, he's just dressing it up in a different way. that he's trapped by what he's lost and sacrificed and admitting that will be too much.

and here's tyr's inescapable bitterness of having been betrayed, of having spent so long trying to be careful with the god of trickery only to have danced right to his tune the whole time. a fiery emotional response for a threat to his home, to minrathous that he's tried very hard to protect and leave a smidgen better than he found it in this whole fight.

by circumstance... and by a little of solas's own design then, rook and solas confront the same trouble of what sacrifice being a leader demands. what cost is too high? how much is too much?

i had the pieces at that point for the ending with mythal, but now i had tyr bitter and a bit more resentful about solas - in a kind of pain about betrayal that was still asking why? about it rather than worried about if regret was present or meaningful. which is where this came from in my head akdfnas;dfnsadf

you're both thinking it. and the endings directly focus on whether or not solas succeeds in tearing down the veil, but the thematic part of it, to me, was... do rook and solas recognize where they might be held back? does tyr act on the pain and resentment of betrayal and swing blindly at solas as repayment? or is it bigger than both of them? is it about posing the question to solas about regret? how much is it like what drove solas to this point to act on that resentment? is it just retaliation? or did either of them learn anything from that prison in the fade?

and that's what makes the parallel, and it's what sets them apart.

and that's how, still, in the end, i have tyr who is willing to choose trying to reason one last time. for the sake of the advice of an old friend. for the people that brought them this far, the ones who chose to believe against the odds. and maybe, even, a little bit for himself. a choice against letting regret and resentment rule.

for the sake of it and because i couldn't get this game out of my head, i checked out the other endings, just to see, and i... think i like sticking with convincing him the best for both of them.

the trick with the dagger swap i think is the only other fitting course of action tyr might've taken from that point, and i think some of its elements reflect similar beats here about... learning from the past, if you will.

the accusation of likeness to the gods is still there. the banter about wits. i am a fool who finally met his match. one might argue that's for underestimating rook, which... fair enough, but i think... it also falls in line with solas's regrets, the appeal to be made to his nature, the... want, in the end, to be proven wrong. to find a 'better' way, as once he suggested to the inquisitor, and as mythal's release from debt and rook and the inquisitor's forgiveness, if you will, finally allows.

and that is... very satisfying to have said between them, when it's been on tyr's mind the whole time. and... they can both be proven wrong this way: for tyr, that solas wasn't beyond listening, and for solas, that there was another way.

for both of them that they could move on from what these trials have made of them, what they have done, and what they endured.

and man... man that was good. and so, so satisfying. it worked, veilguard. you sold me on these two as parallels to each other.

and that's just... one of many things in this game that gave me a lot of emotions, but this has already been. a helluva ramble, so if you've made it this far, congratulations and i salute you, lol.

i'm sure i'll do it all over again and have even more thoughts about even more rooks to throw around and chew on with this and what it'll reflect about each of them and that's. MMM. that's delicious. i loved this game. if my brain and time cooperates, i'm sure i'll have more thoughts and maybe even some writings for it in the future, we'll see where the blorbos take me. xD

[thatscarletflycatcher]

can you tell me what your thesis is about if you're willing to share??

Hi!!! Yes, of course! I need to go over and over the description of this thing in order to turn in a precise and compelling project for the board (attempt #3 at finishing this cursed degree, here we go! *sobs*).

My area of interest has always been Medieval Philosophy, Metaphysics, Ethics, Virtue Ethics and Aristotelian Ethics-Politics. My very first attempt was writing something on Metaphysics (transcendentals) then Ethics Metaphysics (the role of intellectual intuition in moral reasoning in Aristotelian Ethics, Book VI of the Nicomachean Ethics)... Neither worked mainly because a problem when talking metaphysics is... well, there's few words to use and little to say and I have always been a very succinct academic writer (yeah, I know, but it is true).

When I reached acceptance about that XD I moved on to trying something about Aristotelian Ethics-politics. Alasdair MacIntyre is a key author in that area, and he's a favorite of mine because in agreement or disagreement he's thought provoking, he has a sense of humor, and he's a hater of the fun kind. I know it isn't proper to call or pick academic authors because they are fun, but hey, he is. He is a curmudgeonly old man (present tense: he's 95), who kind of manages to disagree with everyone because he hates being put in boxes, but he's also always been very willing and open to listen to other voices and change his opinions on things.

For example, the refinement and reformulation of many ideas between his After Virtue (1981) and his Dependent Rational Animals (1999) came (declaredly) through a reading of certain feminist theory, which brought to the foreground to him how little academic Ethics had focused until that point on disability and caretaking.

He's also always been a versatile author in the sense of breaching the barriers between disciplines for the purposes of philosophical inquiry -After Virtue has a great deal to say about Sociology, and Dependent Rational Animals talks a lot about dolphins XD.

I decided I wanted to write something about this guy, but I got stuck because if you are writing on an author specifically, alone, how do you manage to write something that isn't like, textbook regurgitation? Theoretically I know it is possible, but it was very paralyzing to me all the same.

Enter Elizabeth Gaskell with a steel chair.

I love Gaskell dearly for many different reasons. I love the way in which she writes nuanced, believable, textured characters. I love the treatment of grief in her work, I love the compassion she has for her characters, I love how she makes interesting, central, and natural relationships between parents and children. I love that she's versatile too, and that she saw writing as a vocation, and how she manages to talk about so many different things in a novel without making it come across as didactic or preachy. But one very special thing that has called my attention is her specific interest in communities, and community building through friendship.

Very often her "proposals" of "solutions" to social problems, specifically in her industrial novels, have been dismissed as the utopian sugary pap of learning to share and be nice of someone completely out of touch with reality, but I think those readings are fundamentally missing the framework that makes her ideas make sense and be solid.

As an aside, I feel like that ungenerous reading is kinda rich when Hard Times and its "imagination to power!" concept or Shirley and its marriage solution keep getting praise to this day. You know. It comes across as a bit double standard-y, if you ask me.

But back to topic, guess who did consider friendship, understood as the ties that unite virtuous people in the pursuit of the good for themselves and their fellow men, the very foundation of society, and mankind as essentially social, and therefore for ethics and politics to be a continuum? That's right, my boy Aristotle!

And to that, between other things, when talking about the Aristotelian tradition of Ethics Politics, MacIntyre adds teleological narrative as the element that frames and anchors virtue ethics in this scheme. What is more, he dedicates A CHUNK of chapter 16 of After Virtue to Jane Austen, and why he thinks she's "the last key representative" of this tradition (which has sprung a non negligible amount of scholarship on Austen and virtue ethics).

And I'm persuaded that Gaskell is a significant successor to Austen in this way too, and that the certain sympathy people often perceive between them comes from this aspect (because, in all honestly, it's clearly not about tone or style).

So that's the aim/core of my thesis: to present/analyze/contextualize Gaskell's work within the framework of the Aristotelian Ethics-Politics tradition as understood by MacIntyre.

Of course because I am, in Nelly Dean's description of Edgar Linton, a venturesome fool, this is clearly very ambitious, and I am making it worse for myself by doing things like harvesting circa 350 titles for a thesis that won't require more than 50 and that cannot be more than 80 pages long. The clown shoes can be heard from the other side of the world no this has nothing to do with the fact that I don't think I'll ever get a masters or a PhD where I might be able to develop this concept beyond a very summary overview of N&S and maybe Cranford and My Lady Ludlow if I'm lucky.

And that's how I should have sent something to my advisor three weeks ago (I haven't yet) and how I'm half agony half hope about the whole thing, because I'm scared and anxious and full on rowing through Nutella executive function wise. Maybe I should get a rubber duck.

[ellabsweet]

[*ੈ✩] 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 • 𝐄.𝐖

synopsis: ellie writes in her journal religiously, a foolish attempt at reconciling with her feelings and understanding what it is that happens to her particularly when she is around you

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warning: written in ellie’s pov as the entire story is told through her journal entries, if this is well received it might be a multiple part series, loads of angst and borderline emotional cheating

I saw her again this week. Or better yet, she saw me, and I don’t think I have ever dropped someone’s hand so fast as when her eyes glanced down towards mine and Cat’s intertwined, in the end that only served a purpose to make them both upset. She pretended not to have noticed me after that and deep down I couldn’t blame her for it, though it’s been nearly a month since our last conversation a part of us both know that a friendship shouldn’t experience something that feels like a break up.

Guilt is the second worst feeling I’ve ever experienced and still it comes pretty damn close to grief. Sometimes kissing Cat I pretend that it’s her instead, eyes shut from all reality it’s almost like I can shift her taste into whatever I imagine hers to be instead and in the moment it feels too good for the guilt to settle in, it feels like home. Which is a shame, in the end, because this is about me not deserving that comfort. I remember Cat had to stop me, push me off her to catch her breath with a laugh and she looked me starry eyed to say she’s never felt me so into her before. The strawberry in my lips turned to poison so fast. She didn’t know. Didn’t even understand why my face fell at the comment, felt the need to tell me it was just a joke but we both knew it wasn’t.

Cat is easy. Easy in a way that borders boring which means it’s safe. Life is hard enough as it is for me to keep having these impulses towards devastating gut wrenching love, the kind of love inevitable with her. I told her once when we still liked to pretend we were friends that she was something of a tornado, like this force of nature so inevitable to everything else that sweeps up everything off the ground, and she was so offended. Like I’d said she was destructive. But she is. I haven’t given her the opportunity to abandon me and still it has broken my heart to glance at her across a room and not run straight to her arms, not be the one making her laugh. It’s been too long since I’ve heard the laugh I would bottle and save to get drunk on hard days and now can’t even treasure for good ones.

To be loved by her, though I guess it may be pretentious of me to assume she loved me, was finally coming up for air, was watching a meteor shower, is probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to the moon and understanding what it is to moon over someone, she personified my astronaut dreams and I am a stupid asshole who keeps dropping things on Earth because they’ve got new found gravity. I miss floating and I hate all the things I’ve crashed on the ground, sometimes I’m not sure who’s shattering the most without her. (I do. It’s me. I’m taking this metaphor too far.) But she would hate me if she knew. I thought I had lived long enough as myself so I could find her but not having died for the cure only means I never get to have her, not fully, not if she knew. And I wanted her to know me. More than I wanted her to just love me, which is terrifying. That’s why we can’t be.

[ghostatas]

Thinking about q codebreakers...

We all know phils got some angstry shit going on with elotes killing him, putting the scar on his skin nd not trusting him anymore. Wtoiles, on the other hand, has stated there's nothing personal about it and takes it lightly which makes me so UHHHHHHHH.

Because you have etoiles, who is surrounded by death everyday and THRIVES in it. It is his element, his nature to fight and COMPETE- he loves the adrenaline and rush that comes with it. For etoiles, it is all purely competitive fun and challenge- he plays for the game and the joy it brings him. That's also why hes against things like spawn killing and unnecessary griefing- it goes against moral code in competitions.

On the other hand though, you have Philza where death means losing EVERYTHING. Being on hard-core has hard wired into his brain to avoid and be afraid of death. But then here's his best friend and the person he would trust most with his back, stabbing him with no hesitation and even thinking much of it. Did he really mean that little to etoile, does the friendship mean so little to him? Idk just got me feeling man

[queersekai]

SEKAI Bingo 7 (@sekaitransparents' 1 Year Anniversary Event): silly/funny OR flower meanings.

Chose flower meanings. Reasons for each one under the cut. The PSDs were made to match the flag, which were made based on colors of the flowers (because the original flags repeated the same color palettes and just put the flower on top).

Flags: Bluebellian (Ichika), zinnian (Saki), cireraean (Honami), irisian (Shiho), dandelinian (Minori), dahliaic (Haruka), daffodilian (Airi), lotusean (Shizuku), magnolic (Kohane), chrysanthean (An), sunfleurian (Akito), daisyan (Toya), peonian (Tsukasa), poppyic (Emu), hibiscian (Nene), lavendrian (Rui), hyacinthian (Kanade), pansyean (Mafuyu), marigoldian (Ena), and roseian (Mizuki)

Flower choices (usually when I say "and more," it means there's a negative connotation or one that isn't applicable):

Ichika: Bluebell, meaning loyalty, constancy, humility, and gratitude. Seems self-explanatory.

Saki: Zinnia, meaning thinking of you, remembering absent friends, and sentimentality. Considering Saki's return is what brought Leo/need back together, I thought it fit.

Honami: Cherry blossom, meaning (in Japanese flower language) transience of life, gentleness, and kindness. Seems self-explanatory.

Shiho: Iris, meaning (in general) eloquence, good news, light, faith, valor, wisdom, friendship, and a message. Shiho has (as of 20 November 2024) had two focus events featuring faith in the title, and Leo/need in general is about friendship. Also, White Day knight Shiho card (the 3* from the first set) gives me the valor vibes.

Minori: Dandelion, meaning overcoming hardship, faithfulness, happiness, and more. Minori is basically the poster child for overcoming hardship, given her struggles to become an idol.

Haruka: Dahlia, meaning elegance and dignity, among other things. Seems self-explanatory.

Airi: Daffodil, meaning regard, respect, self-love, and more. A bit more of a stretch, but the respect stood out to me.

Shizuku: Lotus, meaning purity, chastity and elegance, and more. Seems self-explanatory.

Kohane: Magnolia, meaning perseverance, love of nature, and nobility. Following Light Up the Fire, it was a Kohane event that showed Vivid BAD SQUAD persevering in their goal to surpass RAD WEEKEND. And then it was a Kohane event where they did that.

An: Chrysanthemum, meaning (in general) fidelity, optimism, joy and long life, "you're a wonderful friend," rest, and cheerfulness. I saw this and immediately thought Anhane (platonic but could be romantic too). I know she has a sunflower association already, but I used that for...

Akito: Sunflower, meaning adoration, pride, and more. Immediate Akito vibes from this.

Toya: Daisy, meaning (in general) loyal love, gentleness, innocence, purity, fidelity, patient endurance, and more. Tell me this isn't Toya, especially towards VBS and the Tenmas.

Tsukasa: Peony, meaning (in Japanese flower language) masculinity and bravery. I think it fits the new card, okay?

Emu: Poppy, meaning sleep, imagination, fantastic extravagance, and more. Ignoring all the negative connotations that were there, I got wonderhoy vibes.

Nene: Hibiscus, meaning delicate beauty. Nene was hard to come up with one for, so I went with something a bit generic.

Rui: Lavender, meaning love, devotion, and loyalty, among others. Leo/need can't be the only one getting loyalty meanings, alright? He's loyal to WxS and is deeply devoted to them.

Kanade: Hyacinth, meaning (for blue and purple) constancy, grief and sorrow, and, "Please forgive me." Seems self-explanatory given her father.

Mafuyu: Pansy, meaning thoughtfulness, merriment, remembrance, you occupy my thoughts, and, "Think of me." Mafuyu was another difficult one to come up with for, but I do think Kanade (and the rest of Niigo) occupies Mafuyu's thoughts, and Mafuyu can be thoughtful.

Ena: Marigold, meaning pain and grief, jealousy, and more. I know Ena has an association with daffodils, but this screamed Ena between her issues with art, her jealousy towards Mafuyu, and more recently with Where Does the Path of Thorns Go?

Mizuki: Rose, meaning (in general) love, silence, privacy, and conversations held in confidence. I mean... Where Does the Path of Thorns Go? Enough said, I think.

[luxurychristmaspudding]

ON CALL! my fav frankie fic eva

maddieeeee!!!! hello my love!!!!!! thank you SO MUCH ily ily ily.

i've had the idea for on call for aaaaages, taken from the kings of leon song with the same name. it's such a simple sentiment - of being there for someone at any time, no matter what it is. at first it really was just babysitting, but the more i wrote in the very early days, the more they became people with a real fondness for each other.

which is how we got to a mini series! they were very natural characters to develop, and the loss bug has experienced is something frankie knows very well. it was so interesting and comforting for both characters to have things they struggled with that the other understood implicitly, which felt very special and sweet. it felt like a very gentle way to explore grief, if that makes sense?

as for the other chapter names - arizona was more for the vibe. just a slow, cosy night where they might look at one another and think - oh. i think i kind of like you. like a whisp of feeling that they'd look back on and laugh about, especially with the lyrics that taste/all i ever needed/all i ever wanted/too dumb to surrender.

mi amigo is a tribute to their friendship and how they lift each other up in so many ways. i have a headcanon that frankie is a big kings of leon fan, and i think he'd think of bug anytime he listened to that song, at any point in their relationship. it's very her, and it's cute to think of him wishing she had been around when he was younger, wishing they'd met sooner in some way, just because of the peace they bring each other. and also to imagine him a little flushed at the 'big old dick' bit before anything happens between them, and then how he'd laugh when bug hollers it at the top of her lungs in the car afterwards.

you and i is a tribute to their mutual love of fleetwood mac, and also because i couldn't decide on a kol song that fit the chapter. @jolapeno was a massive help with this one, so it's her i have to thank hehe. it's very simple, and feels like it really is just the two of them existing, which is the vibe i wanted to have.

as for the extras, they're also songs. super graphic is because bug would serve a fearful amount of cunt screaming 'fugly jeans' in the club, which frankie would find hilarious. weightless is by one of my favourite bands, and is actually written by a dad, talking to his son about his own dad. perfect - i had this sad idea that bug remembers the weightlessness of her dad at the end and then how she feels weightless to frankie, like he's losing her amidst the grief. and the immortals felt very much frankie and the boys. the open road, the path of greatness/it's at your fingers/go be the one that keeps on fighting/go be the stranger. just them finding who they are together, then hitting this older point where these lines feel pertinent: once you've had enough/carry on/don't forget to love/before you're gone.

the playlist for their whiskey night was also lovely to make. a lot of my stuff is music based, so it felt extra special to have so many people involved in what would be playing the night everything changes!

anyway. i've yapped way too much. if you want to know about the epilogue, let me know! ❤️

[dracomort]

One of my favourite things about Bluebeard is Draco’s unprocessed grief for his parents. Him imagining his parents having tea in a different room of the Australian mansion and pretending they’re sat behind him at Christmas js hits me in the feels, and also leads me to ask how would Draco process it eventually? How long would it take him? Has he come to terms with it by the time of The Diadem?

His unprocessed grief was definitely one of the things that stood out to me once I switched to Draco POV for Bluebeard and got into his head. It's a uniquely difficult experience for him. No one in the world has experienced what he has, and he can't confide in anyone other than Tom, lest he be thought insane or risk causing some sort of time paradox (at least... a bigger one than he already caused by spilling the beans to voldemort). He can't even be vague about 'a death in the family' or whatever because he isn't exactly mourning their deaths... since they will likely still be born in the future. It's the loss of the people that they were to him, closer to mourning a parent with dementia, I suppose.

And on top of that, Tom is about the least sympathetic ear possible, since he is quite confident that dead parents is ideal. If Draco's parents weren't dead/pre-birth, he'd prob suggest offing them anyway. That murdering his father did, in fact, not cure his deep seated resentment and abandonment issues is another matter.

I would say that grief comes out predominately when Draco isn't as close with Tom. As Tom is the only one who actually knows his past—and is, even unintentionally, the kind of person who elicits intense personal connection by nature of his personality—Draco develops a real emotional dependency on him to meet his needs for friendship, family and romantic love. All of his eggs are in one basket, so to speak, which is why the loneliness, guilt and misery in Bluebeard Chapter 3 hits him far harder than it would have if he'd still had his support network in place. To not have a single person in the world who has his best interests at heart is a foreign experience to Draco and very upsetting. It's also yet another thing that Tom can't understand as he has never had a support network. The contrast between the effects of similar traumas experienced at critically different ages is a whole other topic though.

Draco is an excellent compartmentaliser—arguably to his own detriment—so rather than process his grief, he shoves it down and ignores it, bar those occasions when his isolation is impossible to ignore. I think if Tom does leave England, even briefly, Draco will struggle to continue ignoring reality. He's the sort of person who uses social stimulus to numb negative emotions.

Lucius and Narcissa being born in this world will likely be the kind of comfort and closure he needs. He'd still miss them but it wouldn't be as severe. Now, if he's fucked up the timeline to the degree that his parents aren't born... that's when he'll actually have to come to terms with their deaths. Deaths caused by him.

[that-left-turn]

I’m not the anon who mentioned the slightly racist behavior but I am an anon who just saw on Twitter that the actor who plays RJ’s parents saw the hate and racist edits people have made regarding him. Replacing him with a picture of a goat. Removing him from pictures and only leaving Judith. Calling him names. Questioning if he’s Rick’s. Calling Judith the last grimes when she’s biologically not one at all. Nothing is ever explicitly racist it’s the under tones and motives for why you attack a person or pick them apart. And then swearing you never saw any of that happen. This is why when Carylers want to holler about ageism and sexism but lean into racism no one hears us. All of the isms are bad. Not just the one that affects you.

Let me preface this by disclosing that I'm not on Twitter, so I haven't personally seen these things, BUT that doesn't make the behavior any less problematic. If someone reading this has said or done any of the things the anon mentions and isn't sure what the fuss is about, my post attempts to explain why and give some context.

It's long (��🛋️) with thoughts on racism, parenthood, female friendship and the writing of fictional children, touching on misogyny and sexism, with a foray into (in)fidelity and textual analysis. In other words, the kitchen sink on Michonne and Carol, and their found family. Bring snacks.

Saying things that imply someone isn't fully human (even if you think goats are adorable) isn't nice for obvious reasons, but if it's a person of color, it's also fraught with racist undertones:

During the abolitionist movement, there was debate on whether black people had souls and if they were even human. Abducted and trafficked or bred into the plantation system, slaves were property and in legal documents (slave rolls, wills, and censuses) of the time, they weren't listed by name. There were tick marks for male/female and approximate age. The Three-Fifths Compromise (1787) counts each slave as three-fifths of a person for state representation (in Congress and taxes), which basically means that white people got a bigger say in governance while the enslaved definitely weren't citizens and didn't enjoy equal protection under the law.

Take a moment to consider what that would do to your self-esteem, if you were told you're worth 60% of another human but only insofar as it guarantees their rights to self-determination? You’re just chattel. The 13th Amendment (1865) abolished slavery, i.e. humans could no longer be owned, the 14th (1868) afforded citizenship and the 15th (1870) protects the right to vote regardless of race, color or previous condition of servitude, but these amendments also gave rise to the vile Black Codes and Jim Crow laws. That's the context into which comments on a POC's physical resemblance to an animal or their feral/beastly nature slot.

What's the preoccupation with biological procreation in fandom, especially when the concept of ‘found family’ is the core of the show?

Adopted children are 'real' children, stepparents are the ones who 'step up.' They make a choice to parent—to guide and protect—someone into adulthood. That's not a small challenge. Like Carol said when she and Daryl searched for Judith in the Commonwealth, "there's this person totally dependent on you and you have to hope you make the right choices." Anyone can father a child, but to be a good dad requires commitment and love for said child. Rick chose Judith, i.e. acknowledged paternity. She is a Grimes, regardless of genetic matter. Any other argument is underpinned by misogyny and sexism.

There's no reason to doubt that RJ is Rick's biological son. Michonne was bereft and out in the woods, searching for signs of Rick. Her only company was Daryl who's a brother(-in-law) to her. Grief makes you do some funky things, but this was not the first time these two scoured the countryside in the wake of someone's death. They searched for the Governor after Merle and Andrea's murders—this is how they mourn.

It's incredibly insulting to Michonne to assume that she would either cheat on Rick or sleep with someone else right after the bridge blew up. Remember how angry and determined early-season Michonne was in the wake of her oldest son's death? This is a woman who isolates and internalizes her grief. She's not someone who numbs her pain with sex, so assuming her infidelity—counter to what the narrative tells us about her personality—is extremely problematic.

If we go back to examine the slave system again, after the Atlantic slave trade closed (1808), the plantations had to become self-sustaining. Female slaves were bred, often by their masters or some other white man of influence on the plantation. When the plantation owner then sold that progeny, he sold off his own children. (Sit with that thought for a second, particularly if you think biology is what defines paternity.) Black women's bodies were a commodity. They didn't have a right to consent, or a choice in having their children taken from them.

With Lori, viewers were explicitly told biological paternity might be different, but we also saw a discussion between Rick and Lori where practical paternity was decided. In the case of RJ, we have not been shown any evidence that paternity is anything other than Rick’s. The narrative doesn’t support any such theories because Michonne has shown no sexual or romantic interest in anyone else.

Michonne and Carol have far more in common than what sets them apart. They both lost biological children early in the apocalypse. They both assumed parental roles for other children and lost them. They became fierce and strategic warriors, leaders of the communities. They both saved Judith by killing one or many other children. They both went on a quest to find a man and bring him home.

There's no reason for fans to pit them on opposing sides. We only saw glimpses of their relationship to one another in S9-10, where they sometimes came to issues from different ends. Not unlike how 'real' family functions. Michonne told Daryl, more than once—before he went to meet Carol at the dock and again after the parlay with Alpha, that Carol's place is with them, that she belongs. Michonne was understandably concerned with Carol's lack of sleep, with taking pills and sneaking off on fishing boats, but she inquired about Carol's dreams and tried to communicate that she has to put her responsibility towards the community before Carol's need for revenge.

That's not unlike a negotiation/disagreement between sisters. It doesn’t mean Michonne doesn’t care for Carol. She has a role to play within the family dynamics and towards helping Carol land in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Daryl's role is one of unwavering support and unconditional love. He can't tell Carol home truths and set boundaries/expectations, so someone else has to fulfill that function. Who better than the other woman who has also lost children?

The show, for most of its run, dismissed women's friendships as trivial and they were marginalized to the point of onscreen nonexistence. The women have friendships with men and male friendships are well represented, but the portrayal of friendships between women vanished after Lori died. There was a brief interlude of Maggie and Sasha, but it isn't until we see the remaining trio of Georgia ladies have a conversation in 901 that we start getting regular little peeks at women's familial interactions.

The problem with RJ is that he has no personality. I suspect that the writers' room bumped against the limitations of the actor, so what we see onscreen is an attempt at hiding that. That's why RJ is absorbed by his comics when little Anthony, quite literally, reads his lines. If you can't depend on a young actor to deliver for a story arc, their use becomes limited to 'cute prop' and the trouble with casting very young characters is that you never know how the acting will eventually turn out.

Writing kids/teens is also a skill and one at which I don't think TWDU is very adept. The kid characters have to service the greater storyline, but very often end up dumbed down or become the yoda of the show because the room can't figure out what their function is beyond "plot device." Baby Yoda is endearing because he's an alien and functions within established parameters of the narrative/setting. Hershel and Ginny in Dead City aren't and neither is the French Messiah, Laurent, because none of them feel like real teenagers. They're sullen and obstinate to suit the story engine, but have no character development of their own.

[kestrellady]

Book Riot's 2024 Read Harder Challenge

Ongoing 20/24 Challenge Link

6th year with this "get out of your comfort zone" reading challenge. Full list under the cut.

1. Read a cozy fantasy book. The House Witch by Delemhach This is a sweet, cozy read about a young witch finding his place and coming into his power. I can tell this comes out of the fanfic community, but it's really a plus for this book. This is the first of a series, which just has volume numbers.

2. Read a YA book by a trans author. The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas I loved Cemetery Boys so of course I had to pick this one up for this challenge. This is a lush fantasy with a dark side and a sarcastic lovable protagonist. I loved the modern Aztec/Maya inspired setting and I'm excited to pick up the next one!

3. Read a middle grade horror novel. Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires by Ben Acker I loved this collection of interconnected short stories. Some are funny, some genuinely scary, and they kind of circle so characters and stories keep coming back in new ways.

4. Read a history book by a BIPOC author. The Ocean of Churn by Sanjeev Sanyal This was an incredibly readable history of the Indian Ocean trade and its place in world history. I sometimes got a little confused with the names of people and places, but the author was great about pulling out the main points.

5. Read a sci-fi novella. The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Ann Older It's so refreshing to read a take on Holmes and Watson that actually gets the dynamic right! I had a bit of a tone mismatch because I initially expected a space western (and there's a bit of that) rather than a Holmsian mystery.

6. Read a middle grade book with an LGBTQIA main character. Dear Mothman by Robin Gow This is a really sweet and soft book about dealing with grief, and friendship, and identity, all told in verse.

7. Read an indie published collection of poetry by a BIPOC or queer author. You Are Here: Poetry in the Natural World, edited by Ada Limón This is actually a collection of poetry with each poem written by a different author, but almost all of them qualify for this prompt, so I think it works. The poems were all very different and there were at least a couple of them that really spoke to me, though I wish the author bios had included more than just where they went to school and the awards they'd won.

8. Read a book in translation from a country you’ve never visited. Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura This is a bit difficult, but ultimately kind and hopeful read about friendship and the effects of bullying. It reads more middle-grade than I had expected, but I can't tell if that's just the translation or not.

9. Read a book recommended by a librarian. Walking to Aldebaran by Adrian Tchaikovsky Recommended to me by the lovely @/elodieunderglass! This was, hoo boy. It was something. It's a horror novel! All of the signs were there for the twist! I was still surprised and horrified!

10. Read a historical fiction book by an Indigenous author.

11. Read a picture book published in the last five years.

12. Read a genre book (SFF, horror, mystery, romance) by a disabled author. Fourth Wing by Rebeca Yarros This was another one of those booktok books that I was a little hesitant to get into, but certainly sounded like it was made for me and hoo boy was it. The main protagonist has major weakness in her joints and bones, which was really well woven into the plot.

13. Read a comic that has been banned. The Complete Maus by Art Spiegelman I have a really hard time with Holocaust literature, but this is one of the most accessible books I've read. Not necessarily because it's a comic, but because it's framed and paced so well that you can really feel for the people, but still get a chance to breathe and recover.

14. Read a book by an author with an upcoming event (virtual or in person) and then attend the event.

15. Read a YA nonfiction book. Photographic: The Life of Graciela Iturbide by Isabel Quintero and Zeke Peña I've been fascinated by Graciela Iturbide since I listened to a Duolingo Spanish podcast episode about her photographing Frida Kahlo's newly discovered bathroom. This was a very poetic, graphic novel overview of her life. It was told in first person and I wish it was a little more clear what was a quote and what wasn't.

16. Read a book based solely on the title. That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming This was a fun, raunchy, read with an interesting world and a very pragmatic heroine.

17. Read a book about media literacy. The Attention Merchants: The Epic Scramble to Get Inside Our Heads by Tim Wu This was a fascinating and infuriating read, about the century long quest for advertisers (and others) to profit off of people's attention. Published in 2016, so a little out of date now. I did a longer write up here.

18. Read a book about drag or queer artistry. Hi Honey, I'm Homo! by Matt Baume This was a relatively short, very readable tour through queer depictions on TV sitcomes and the way those depictions reflect and shape attitudes toward queer people in real life. (I'm not totally happy with this book for this prompt, so I might replace it if I read something else before the end of the year.)

19. Read a romance with neurodivergent characters. Viscount in Love by Eloisa James The heroine in this historical romance is dyslexic and deals with a lot of prejudice and self-doubt because of it. I love Eloisa's romances because the people act like real people.

20. Read a book about books (fiction or nonfiction). The Sinister Booksellers of Bath by Garth Nix This is a sequel to The Left-Handed Booksellers of London and takes place just a few months after that book. I love the way it delves into English folklore and the ways the characters grapple with being not quite human.

21. Read a book that went under the radar in 2023. The Hanging City by Charlie N. Holmberg This book had some really amazing worldbuilding that suffered a bit because the focus was so thoroughly on the narrator. I felt like most of the rest of the characters weren't really fleshed out, including the love interest. This was good, but I really expected to like it more than I did.

22. Read a manga or manhwa. In/Spectre Vol. 18 by Chashiba Katase This series is weird and I love it. It's largely mysteries where the protagonist already knows what happened and has to convince other people that it didn't happen the way it actually did. This volume wraps up a longer storyline and I loved the twists and turns and return of a side character.

23. Read a “howdunit” or “whydunit” mystery. Miraculous Mysteries edited by Martin Edwards I really enjoyed this collection of locked room murders and impossible crimes. Some of the stories definitely show their age, so be prepared for some casual racism and misogyny, but most of the stories were interesting and several were very surprising!

24. Pick a challenge from any of the previous years’ challenges to repeat!

[samasmith23]

Why do fans hate Bruno from Ms. Marvel so much?

Back when I was still on Twitter and was reading Saladin Ahmed's run on Magnificent Ms. Marvel as it was being released on a monthly basis, something which really confused me was witnessing a fair number of Ms. Marvel fans talking about how they not only really disliked Kamala's childhood best friend Bruno Carrelli as a character, but even would go as far as to label Bruno as a "manipulative incel" and accuse his and Kamala's romance subplot in Magnificent Ms. Marvel as being "emotionally abusive."

Like... I've honestly never understood where these criticisms were coming from. Especially since I personally never got that impression of Bruno's character having read all 75-issues of G. Willow Wilson & Saladin Ahmed's initial runs. And while Ahmed did state in a tweet that the romance subplot between Bruno & Kamala was about "overcoming toxic pedestals," I still think a lot of the claims I've seen from fans that he somehow wrote Bruno as behaving like a manipulative incel or something is a massive stretch.

I personally took Ahmed's statement to instead mean that he was trying to convey that childhood-friendships-turned-teenage-romances don't always lead to the most healthy or naturally progressing relationships, especially one of them has an idealized version of the other even if both harbor similar romantic feelings for each other (which Kamala did for Bruno contrary to some fan claims).

And Kamala and Bruno both realized this and decided that even though things would always be weird between them, they should just "keep it weird but without the kissing" in Magnificent Ms. Marvel (2019) #15.

I always really loved this scene. Although I was personally a huge shipper of Kamala & Bruno as a couple, I honestly understood both of their perspectives about why they felt pursuing a romantic relationship together won’t work out them and feel they should just stay friends despite their feelings for one-another. Kamala acknowledges that she's not ready to commit to such a relationship since despite kissing Bruno she did so purely in a heat of passion when she was emotionally stressed due to outside factors like her Kree Stormranger Nanosuit negatively influencing her physical behavior to try and kill her nemesis Discord, as well as experiencing extreme grief and anger when her Abu dying in the hospital and receiving life-saving surgery and she was forced to go off and fight the supervillain Mister Hyde.

Conversely, Bruno realizes that the progression of his and Kamala's relationship has felt forced and unnatural due to him having an idealized version of Kamala in his head, and Kamala herself wasn’t ready to commit to romance due to all the hardships she was then-currently experiencing.

It's also worth noting that the worst thing Bruno did in Magnificent Ms. Marvel was briefly complain about them still not dating while on a trip to the state fair due to Kamala not being ready to do so despite previously kissing him, and angrily storming off (which he recognized was a mistake on his part in the very next issue).

But aside from that, Bruno never came across as particularly jerkish to me, since he never insulted or demeaned Kamala. And throughout Ahmed's run, Bruno was shown to be always willing to put Kamala's feelings and well-being into consideration. Whether it be helping her find her missing parents, comfort her when her father was dying, and saving her from being drowned by Stormranger.

Plus, it not like Kamala lacked any agency in their relationship, and she clearly held similar feelings towards him (both in Ahmed or Wilson's runs). And the fact that she and Bruno decided to simply remain friends felt very genuine and authentic to me when I read it.

So overall, the criticisms against Bruno always felt rather inflammatory to me, blowing the character's flaws wildly out of proportion to make him seem like the worst most unlikable irredeemable person ever.

I honestly just don't understand the outrage towards Bruno among other Ms. Marvel fans... I really don't...

[faithfromanewperspective]

something like a snippet, i can never keep/ideas in a line and plot of what i see

(to the tune of starting line by luke hemmings)

i was thinking a lot about discovering myself as a musician and an athlete and a way that works for me with my ideals and my neurodivergence and just being in that space where my whole body is burnt out and all but the most authentic options are limited. and also about how gifts that you don't have autonomy over aren't gifts at all and it's natural to get traumatised by things that others who don't know your circumstances don't--

and this came. it's part of a fic going on to 50K words that you will get to read in its entirety once it has a semblance of structure to it. in the meantime it's full of holes, like the stereotype of cheese. this is a flavoursome bit i hope? and i hope it makes sense without whatever background i may or may not have half written for it. i hope it sheds a bit of light on Important Things To Talk About too:

The adults in the enclave had really stepped up, James thought, compared to the last year or so when London went from having no demons, to being overrun with Khora and then being Belial’s plaything. It had taken them a while to realise and acknowledge all the bad decisions that were made during that time, but they had. He’d lost track of all who had come to him about it, apologised for all he and his friends had gone through at the hands of Belial and Tatiana. He drew an iratze on his wrist, cutting through the fog (and ignoring an intrusive thought wondering how much longer he might have to do this for). Still heavy with grief and what he assumed was his body simply processing all that had happened to them, he made his way up to the training room to get in some throws before Matthew and Jesse arrived.

In another world, the three of them might train with Christopher as well, and James would continue for hours with the novelty of a slightly modified weapon that he and his cousin were working out how to use—it would be useful, eventually, after a few more modifications, Kit would promise, but James would just try again and again to adjust his stance, his grip, to whatever new thing this was even when Matthew grew bored and Thomas sat down with him. Back when Thomas was still small, still discouraged at the idea of ever being a great Shadowhunter. Before he got it in his head that chasing murderers alone was a good idea and Alastair had come along and, unexpectedly, been the catalyst along with the year in Spain that brought Thomas out of his shell. When had they lost that? Was it normal for friendship to be like that at their age, each too caught up in their own struggles to see what was going on below the surface, behind the facades of the boxes one put one’s friends in just to feel like one had a handle on how the world worked, and feel like something was predictable?

They had gained a much bigger group of friends than they knew how to handle, roles they hadn’t yet grown into, and no life-changing battle (or three) was without casualties. James couldn’t thank enough whatever turns of fate had brought Cordelia to him, even if the events actually had been Elias’ blunder and him burning a house down at Grace’s request. He hadn’t realised how seventeen years of pent-up frustration and disconnect from the world (which weren’t anyone’s fault, not his, nor that of anyone who loved him) could wear one down slowly. And it took being around those who saw every part of his being, who loved him and let him be free entirely, finding his own way in the world without the pressure of living up to his parents’ legacy, to realise how much he’d been suppressing the urge to escape he never felt like it was possible to fulfil—and that he could live a life of little joys among the responsibilities of protecting mundanes from supernatural dangers.

He'd been resting a lot lately, breathing through nightmares in which Belial was still at large—either possessing him or taunting from afar—just to wake with Cordelia by his side, in a world filled only with the smaller demons he’d learned from young to defeat. He found solace once again in the stories of mundane magicians who, like him, faced discovery of mystery and of a world no one else seemed to be impacted by. Occasionally he’d wonder if there was a future where Shadowhunters or warlocks could counsel these curious mundanes through what they had found as Jem had done for him—surely that would work towards the same end as killing demons? But for now it was enough to know that there was a vast world of human experience, far broader than the narrow-minded and sheltered enclave of London would have him believe. There were people out there restless, searching for more, with a curiosity stronger than their instinct to survive.

James’ throw missed its mark, and he tried to concentrate on the next one. His mind was loud today, and in the last months he’d realised that sometimes it was more beneficial just to pause and let himself think for a bit than try to control it like he did with everything. There were limits to control. That doesn’t mean a world you don’t have control over is too scary or unbearable, he told himself, and he'd keep telling himself until he believed it.

He positioned his feet for the next throw, and as he shut his eyes to feel his body, he saw on the back of his eyelids something he didn’t know why he’d been thinking about so much. A magician called Roland the Astonishing, advertised on posters around the city. Mundane magicians were largely ignored by Shadowhunters, except in rude offhand statements loaded with exasperation: exasperation that they were doing what they were doing, endangering themselves and others, and Shadowhunters like himself were powerless to stop them.

But maybe stopping them just wasn’t the right answer. He missed Christopher in that moment, Christopher who would simply say that if one potential solution did not work they should simply try another.

Another solution. Another path to a world where James Herondale could still be a Shadowhunter. He opened his eyes and in an instant before he could think too hard about it, let the knife fly. Bullseye.

Maybe the way he was training right now just wasn’t what he needed. More of the same thing he’d done since he was a child. Maybe the way that he felt when Shadowhunters around him—competent, as they were, about keeping the city free from demons—spoke of mundanes and Downworlders, especially those who tried to meddle in worlds that weren’t there—was to be expected knowing his heritage.

Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. Maybe it was a gift, like the shadow powers he sometimes wished he could have discovered at his own will, learn to manage the way one would manage a horse or a motorcar when driving. Rather than only ever learning skills that were more akin to someone learning how to flip out of the way of and mislead and even land on to try to have some influence over, a tiger you were trapped in a cage with. He was still learning to release that stress, that terror, from his body. Surely that was why this magician seemed to resonate with James in such a profound way. He was free, yet likely felt lost at the same time. And there was something about him. James wasn’t an artist, not by any stretch, so he couldn't use an artist's eye to ask himself: why did his face look so familiar?

He could ask Matthew, he supposed, but somehow—this was something he had to figure out on his own. Not with the assistance of any other Shadowhunter (he would tell Cordelia about it when she was finished training with Lucie for the day, but she would simply listen and thank him for telling her, which didn’t count). At least, not anyone who was born a Shadowhunter.

James threw another knife. Another bullseye. He knew he didn’t get as energetic as Matthew or even Lucie or Christopher did when they were excited, but he could feel it in his veins already: something freeing, something a bit like possibility and hope and the excitement of a new perspective that might just give him a new insight into exactly who he was and what his place was in the world. Something he remembered snippets of amid the crushing dread and shame and tiredness not unlike what he now felt, back when he and Lucie had stayed in Cirenworth Hall after the Academy. If he ignored the scalding fever and the way it left holes in his memory even now, he could imagine the warmth and hope building up in a crescendo like Jem sometimes played on his violin: right up until the moment he fell in love with Cordelia.

Before Grace had killed it with that spell and his life was once again marked by dull despair punctuated only by the pain of being apart from her, and the small relief he felt being around his friends and Cordelia.

Now wasn’t the time to think about Grace. He scribbled a note to Matthew and Jesse—training with three people could be awkward anyway—and set off to find another old friend from his time at the academy who was well versed in everything about mundanes, magicians, the experience of discovering the Shadow World, and might just have some ideas about how it might relate to him. She might even be able to point him to why this magician even looked so familiar (if not for some shared longing in their souls).

James threw another knife and didn’t even bother to retrieve it from the wall (where it had struck the target for the third time), before going to find Esme Hardcastle.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb:

A beautiful and unputdownable story about love, friendship, and the ghosts that grief can leave behind, The Other Ones is a heartfelt, contemporary romance with a haunting twist...

Salem Amani is a world-weary sixteen-year-old living with his mother and older sister in a haunted house. But all Sal really wants is to be ordinary, which is hard to do when you live in a house full of ghosts. And when a strange boy arrives on his doorstep asking more questions than he’s at all comfortable with, Sal’s efforts to be ordinary are put under even greater strain. Until Pax makes his offer: “I could help you with the hauntings...I’m good with ghosts.”

But despite his initial dislike of Pax, Sal can’t help but find himself unexpectedly drawn to the boy. And as the two grow closer, and Pax offers to help Sal scare away his ghosts for good, Sal finds himself sinking deeper into a lie concealing the truth about his family.

When the true nature of the “hauntings” is revealed, Sal must confront reality – or risk losing Pax for good.

Review:

He lives in a haunted house yet finds himself falling for the strange boy who appears at his doorstep. Salem Amani is a sixteen year old boy who lives in a haunted house with his mother and sister. He is a half-Egyptian boy who lives in a small English village... and then he meets Pax, a strange but endearing guy who is obsessed with the supernatural and wants to dehaunt Salem's house. This was a very autumnal slice of life young adult book that deals with friendship, grief, and a bit of romance. It's got a cozy setting and the book just feels like a nice fall read. The plot was really slow though and the characters just felt a bit meh overall. I think it's an alright read and definitely has cozy vibes, but I would just say it's cute and fine. It's a good read for anyone who wants an easy simple autumn read.

Release Date: August 20,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Scholastic | Chicken House for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[greetings-humans]

this has already been said a million times but ig some people never got the memo so here I am.

when a fic updates and it's been a while (be that a month, a semester, a year, multiple years, a fucking decade or maybe several of those) YOU DON'T SUDDENLY GET A FREE PASS TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE AUTHOR

some things for your consideration:

the fic author is not paid for this creative effort and also needs to spend time actually supporting themselves financial

the fic author is not a robot that cranks out creative material. breaks are needed, sometimes people leave fandoms and come back much later. it is human and it is natural. some people can't completely obsess over one single fic consistently and also write stuff for it, and thus cannot consistently give you chapters. sometimes, "consistently" also means not as soon as you'd like. please find your brain from the lost and found and realize that if someone is updating and has not abandoned their fic, that is an absolute win and definitely not a given

the fic author is a human being that just so might wanna engage in hobbies and relationships (platonic and/or romantic), which takes time

you should keep in mind that it takes a lot of fucking brainpower to have an idea, like the idea, decide to write the idea, find the time to write the idea, find the inspiration to continue said idea, ACTUALLY FUCKING WRITE THE IDEA, and find it in yourself to publish it

you are entitled to nothing. actually, since I'm a nice, empathetic person, I'll ammend that. the only thing you might be entitled to is an edit at the tags saying 'fyi next chapter is gonna take a while'. you deserve no explanation. I deserve no explanation. if the author comes back after years to update I will go to the comments and tell them how surprised and happy I am and then talk about the fic. be a bit more like that please

if you don't like the updating frequency, consider DOING IT YOUR FUCKING SELF (and talking about it with the fic author if you got inspired by said fic, and definitely giving credit).

if you don't like the updating frequency, consider NOT READING OR COMMENTING ON THE FIC or just maybe READING A DIFFERENT FIC (don't like don't read is always in effect babes, this is fanfiction, if i started saying shit under every fic with a premise that made me grimace I'd have made so many people and myself so upset)

this is not one of those cases where you can make it other people's problem. the author has every right to take as much time as they fucking want. I don't see you writing this exact fic in their exact circumstances, so kindly shut up

okay, for real, though. you can't know. the author could be going through anything, including but not limited to childbirth, divorce, grief, mental health issues, physical health issues, schoolwork (not everyone is an academic genius samantha, let people take their time), friendship/romance drama. they could also, fyi, just wanna take a break. nothing wrong with that. it's actually the recommended course of action to avoid burnout in case you hadn't heard. literally who do you think you are to take an issue with that? their fucking publisher? do you have a deadline to meet harold? is your pay based on this? what was that? no? okay cool then shut it.

how fucking dare you complain about how fast a literal human being with an entire life outside of fanfiction can write literally so many words about something new.

btw this is what inspired all of this

one of my favorite fics updated after... well three months maybe? and I spot this in the comment section as I go to drop my own comment. literally how dare you. do you understand how discouraging and infuriating it is to see some random person say this about your brainchild?? im glad you're liking the fic berryl but if you have an issue with the time between updates, keep it to yourself, read another fic, or write your own fic.

[ahamkara-apologist]

3, 4, and 10 for Marcie and Aeris on the character asks?

The siblings!!! Love my sun and moon siblings

3. What is your OC's financial status? Are they just scraping by, making enough to live comfortably, or wealthy? Has there ever been a drastic change in their status? If so, what happened?

-Well, since Aeris and Marcie both share a glimmer bank and have the same weakness to going moneyblind when something they really want becomes available...the answer is 'it depends', but usually not a lot. Both of them really really want to save up as much glimmer as they can, but then a new gun comes up at Xur, or a pretty ship or ghost shell, and then ooo, there it goes again...

Amusingly, they're the two that you'd expect to have all the money, since Marcie is a Crucible champion and Aeris is the literal Young Wolf, but between Aeris's paranoia/FOMO and Marcie's love for fun ornaments, ships, and ghost shells- well. Let's just say that there's a reason why Aeris is so fucking sick of spicy ramen, and it's not because he abused that lifelong ticket of his willingly XD

4. Does your OC have a failed friendship or relationship they still think about? What happened? Is it an unresolved regret or is there a chance for reconciliation?

-Apart from the incident with exposing Petrichor to their memories in the Deep Stone Crypt, Aeris just has the typical woes of being autistic and fitting into society about as well as a square peg in a round hole, but Marcie's would be Cayde and Amanda. For Cayde, it's more that she never really got to say goodbye + was so stricken with grief that she had to send Aeris to hunt Uldren down (something that she still feels guilty/weak about), but for Amanda, it's entirely because of the whole debacle over Crow. Marcie may be a spitfire, but she understood that Crow =/= Uldren from the get-go, as well as the fact that Cayde never would have wanted Crow to take the blame for a dead man, so she was one of the first to vouch for him after Aeris brought him home from the Tangled Shore. Unfortunately, when Amanda found out who Crow used to be, she'd gotten pretty fond of the fucker, so it led to a huge blowout fight between the two of them. Neither of them were on speaking terms when Amanda got herself blown up because both were too stubborn/prideful to admit they were wrong, and it's something that Marcie regrets deeply

10. Is your OC sentimental or pragmatic? Do they keep mementos or only what they need to survive? Have they always been this way or did something happen to make them change?

-Aeris is very pragmatic, and really only keeps his work items: aka, armour, weapons, and a couple of sparrows/jumpships. He has a few items that he's very attached to, but they're pretty much just his bows or a couple of knives- him buying new guns is more of a nervous habit than actually wanting them, and he'll turn around and dismantle them just as quick. Marcie is the much more sentimental one, and the differences between their apartments is honestly pretty staggering. As for whether or not that's in their nature: for Marcie, it's most certainly an inherent trait, whereas Aeris's is more of a holdover from his time with his father pre-rezzing that became such a habit that it carried over even after his memories got wiped. Yusef used to be very fond of reminding him that he only survived because he was generous and kind enough to take him in and care for him, so to spite his father, Aeris used to just...not keep anything. It kept Yusef from having another means of controlling him by reminding him that everything he owned technically belonged to his father, which eventually just manifested into Aeris only growing attached to either bare essentials that he could justify needing via his work, or small things that he could easily hide in his clothes/gear

Send me OC asks!

[calliethetrekkie]

Triumvirate Prompts: Day 5

(Prompts Link)

#5. Favorite platonic duo?

I love all the duos both platonically and romantically (some more than others but still), but I guess for this one I'll go with these two:

It is criminal how underrated Kirk and McCoy's friendship is. It is always so hard for me to find content of them, at least in TOS, in any sense and it sucks because their friendship is so freakin' good. I could write a whole essay about them... and I'm actually working on one but I'll give the abridged version here.

I fell in love with their dynamic the minute I started watching TOS with The Man Trap. Kirk teasing McCoy about his old girlfriend, the natural chemistry between them and their actors, their professional relationship that can cause some tension, but they always make up quick. And of course McCoy finally killing the salt vampire despite it looking like his ex because it was killing Kirk, and he will never let that happen. That was all displayed there, and we get even more as we go.

Kirk always pressures himself to keep his strong Captain image on at all times and there's not many people he can let that drop around. McCoy's one of the few he's able to do that around. McCoy is always there to support him, encourage him, let him have just a moment to collect himself. When he's uncertain or struggling with his feelings/thoughts, McCoy is always right there to reassure him. Kirk may not always listen, but he still wants McCoy there to talk to him. He needs Bones to help him feel at ease. He needs that reassurance that he can pull through whatever he's facing at that moment. He needs that person who can reel him back when he's pushing too much. He cares so much about Bones and can't imagine being a Captain without him there.

McCoy is so fond of Jim. You can just tell by how he's always trying to support Jim and make sure that he's okay. Sure, as CMO that's his job, but it feels like he does go out of his way for Jim moreso than he does most. Most of the time when he's on the Bridge despite not needing to be there is to talk to Jim, whether it be to check on his mental well-being or to just give him a few minutes to have a friendly chat. He hates it whenever he angers or otherwise lets down Jim and almost seems to shut down when he does. Even so, if he sees Jim pushing too much or getting unreasonably angry at someone like Spock, he's not afraid to speak up and pull him back down. He knows and understands Jim so much and does everything possible to be there for him.

Hell, for all the grief that I give AOS, I think that the Kirk and McCoy dynamic is one of the things that they got absolutely right. It's not the same as in TOS, they're younger and meet on route to the Academy. Kirk is a lot more brash and arrogant, and McCoy is more gruff and down on his luck. Despite that, they still became best friends. McCoy went out of his way to get Kirk onto the Enterprise just because he knew how much Kirk wanted to be there. McCoy's still that one person where Kirk can drop his mask and be more of his real self around. The scene in Beyond where they celebrate Kirk's birthday alone, McCoy knowing how hard it is for him due to it being when his dad died and just being there for him and Kirk letting himself be vulnerable around Bones, is such a beautiful scene. Like I can imagine it in TOS it's such a good scene. It shows why their friendship is so freakin' good and I love it.

I think the scene that best shows the Kirk/McCoy dynamic is in Motion Picture. Kirk has drafted McCoy out of retirement, which the latter isn't exactly happy about, especially when he finds out it was all Kirk's doing. Yeah, it is kind of a crappy move, but why did Kirk do this? Because he's finally got the Enterprise back and has a mission. He's got his crew back, but he doesn't have either McCoy or Spock. He can't really do anything about Spock, but McCoy?

KIRK: I need you. Dammit Bones, I need you! Badly!

He can't do it without him. He just can't.

And despite all his grumbling about being dragged back, the second that McCoy hears that?

That's all it takes for him to agree. All it takes for Jim to literally pull him back to be by his side. In the end, he can't deny Jim. If he needs him, he'll be there. Always.

IDK, I just love them so, SO much. I ship them super hard, and I could go on about that all day. But seriously, their relationship is so overlooked by both fandom and pop culture, and it's a shame because it is so, SOOOO good. No matter what universe it is, Kirk and McCoy are always together, and it's beautiful.