#which explains much about current me

[laurapetrie]

She wanted her life to be like her books; she wanted to be a heroine. She picked out all the sugar-plums in the historian's pages: Anne Boleyn and Mary Queen of Scots, Joan of Arc and Marie Antoinette and Charlotte Corday.

Mary Elizabeth Braddon, The Doctor's Wife (1864)

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

i keep thinking about the polaris-chihiro roleswap au. like it's making me crazyy

the base implications of byakuya's crossdressing as polaris in the togami novel canon is to demonstrate his determination to win at any cost, even go so far as to do something as 'demeaning' as wear a dress

the most-widely accepted reason, both in the game and in fan theory, for chihiro's crossdressing was that it was to evade the shame that came with being identified as a non-masculine boy

^^ to reflect this in the au version: chihiro follows this line of thinking, but also adopted more of canon byakuya's reasoning for choosing his appearance in the togami novels. rather than adjusting his appearance to try and explain away his discomfort about being perceived as effeminate/non-masculine, he leans into an appearance to appear non-threatening and boyish -> not quite masculine enough to be taken seriously, not quite feminine enough to be ridiculed and totally shunned -> good way to get his dad's business competitors to underestimate him and let their guards down

^^ because of this, instead of canon byakuya's over-pompousness and selfishness, he takes on more of a 'sweet prince' kind of demeanor, as in being very friendly and polite and taking advantage of weaknesses that he catalogs in those around him. there is the idea in his head that he needs to constantly reassure himself and others that he is above them, both as a way to help retain the benefits of the 'pampered innocent rich boy' persona and also to eliminate any misgivings he might have regarding his own self

like canon byakuya, he's kind of twisted, but he's more subtle about it

au version: polaris's intentions with crossdressing started very much the same as the togami novel canon and maybe even with the reasoning given for canon chihiro's crossdressing - a method to protect herself from people who would have regarded her differently as a male - but she got comfortable in it and withdrew from the heir competition because of it, while also trying to hide that reason

looking only at canon chihiro's dialogue about herself in regards to the chapter 2 motive, there's no clear indication that she's referring to the need to 'become comfortable being a boy', and moreso the indication that she needs to become stronger/more self-confident in preparation of being outed by monokuma, so that when she starts getting attacked for 'being a boy', she can defend herself (shoutout to @/rainbow-crane and this post for this analysis!! highly recommend reading)

with regards to this in the au version: polaris, though really enjoying life more as polaris polanski vs. as byakuya togami, might conflate the worry of being outed with being discovered by the togami family - like the idea of 'i moved out of my parents house and socially transitioned without telling them and i really dont want to deal with it if anyone outs me to them' but coupled with the fact the parents are extremely rich and powerful and don't take well to shame being brought upon their name...her paranoia is justified

^^^ as it is, she's slightly different from canon chihiro. she wouldn't be fine with being outed to her classmates, per se, but if it happened she's confident that she'd be able to handle it (and if you consider how far she got in the competition before willingly dropping out, the reasoning for her confidence is clear). however, the main concern is if people were to find out who she was related to, and if that information were to find itself back to the togami cong.

^^ also bc of that. she does this weird mix of catty rudeness coupled with genuine good intentions. like she can act as self-absorbed and superior as byakuya does in canon, but is much more willing to take initiative to help others. a weird combination of refraining of letting people get too close while also understanding the importance of community and group work (and also showing off) - she'll often see herself as a keystone in any given operation

like canon chihiro, she ultimately just wants to be able to get along with her peers without worry

tl;dr: tags by @//byakugay-tgirlmi

[Image ID: screenshot of Tumblr tags. Tags describe: "listen. grabs your face. Togami is the manifestation of what would happen if Chihiro detransitioned and became a man. Okay."]

[cent-scratchnsniff]

progressing through the myth of sisyphus again

[hellaverse-critical-confessions]

(from this video)

[starbuck]

i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”

[fuckmeyer]

hot tip: EXCLUSIVE behind-the-scenes content available to those who livechat my fic to me

[bookwyrminspiration]

reading gideon the ninth:

reading harrow the ninth:

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[aflamethatneverdies]

i do rly love dungeon meshi so far and i do see that the mangaka is trying to rehabilitate the dnd tropes and make them more thoughtful and less racist and this is not so much a judgement, more an observation, but the dnd tropes originally are so racist that i kinda wish that the mangaka was completely inventing her own worldbuilding instead of building off of them. like maybe at some point we should as a society move away from and throw away dnd tropes in the trashcan where they belong, just a thought you know.

[thresholdbb]

High-key thinking about Coda Phage Janeway as a cosplay if my skin doesn't improve

[ahaura]

it has been a long day but. finally home 🧎‍♀️

[friendofthecrows]

Finished my 31 page long forensic anthropology final exam the page count of which does not include the three full-length and ridiculously in depth essay questions. It took twice the estimated time and I've been looking at a screen so long I feel like one of those bog bodies with extensive adipocere formation that look weirdly preserved and yet exactly like you'd expect someone who was submerged in a bog for an extensive period to look. Maybe a 20 year PMI.

[louderfade]

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Im still wondering what the deal was with the joke at the start of peacemaker tries hard about people being mad about lore being retconned (and also how anybody mad is a dumb idiot who doesnt understand how comics work). Like the only people I've ever seen talking about Peacemaker's previous stuff being ignored in a negative way besides ME are people who arent actually interested in the character and just wanted to hate the show because they hate James Gunn (and it is very obvious from the way they talked about it that they didnt actually get who Peacemaker was as a character since most of those people were also convinced he was a serious antihero pre-show which like. Yeah ok.)

I dunno. Still convinced it was making up a guy to be mad at and is part of why I was annoyed with this miniseries from the start. Also because of the fucking sexual assault joke Im not ignoring that.

[magentagalaxies]

one of these days i need to make a kids in the hall iceberg based on all the increasingly obscure side projects/behind-the-scenes info i've acquired over the past few months

[redxriiot]

Lovin’ the idea of Kiri and electroreception again