#which does not make it any less funny in its current context
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hexjulia ¡ 8 months ago
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armand's deeply felt irritation about louis' continuing lestat obsession intercut with a clip of lestat eating what are probably important papers like a dog eating homework... beautiful.
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thegamingcatmom ¡ 3 months ago
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OKAY I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SENT AN ASK BUT LIKE- 😭 I need your opinion on this.
How would each of the sisters (and then the 3 of them all together) react to MC being kidnapped.. this can be in the Feral world or the normal one up to you!
Imagine it's one of the cullens or something, they see a human all alone at the Denali's home (Don't ask how MC is home.. alone at that) and they don't think to ask before stealing.
BUUUTT would it be worse if it was someone like Victoria?? Or a random nomad that seen MC at the store (with idk Kate I feel like Kate would HATTEE the store) and MC gets snatched?
-💙
THAT´S TOTALLY FINE LOVE GO WILD PLS AND TY. 😭
(Honestly: Asks keep the thirst alive. ❤️‍🔥)
As for your question:
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That's it that's my answer, lmao.
On a more serious note though:
It doesn't really matter which universe we're talking (at least when we fast forward a bit in The Sisters where MC's no longer in danger of getting her face eaten by Irina, lol) because the reaction would be more or less the same:
All-consuming wrath that will obliterate everything in its path.
(In other words: Stay out of their way and you´re good. Perhaps.)
As for their separate reactions:
I actually don´t think there´s much to "separate" here because it´s really just one massive inferno that will burn you alive if you step too close. Vampiric rage, especially when it comes to their mate/chosen one, is a force to be reckoned with because it´s blind to everything else. It´s uncontrollable and doesn´t differentiate between friend or foe. Anyone who stands between them and their mate becomes an enemy.
That counts for the Cullens as well, of course. No matter which universe.
Yknow, it´s kinda funny you mention the Cullens in the context of kidnapping someone because I do have some plans for them in The Sisters that may or may not involve MC getting "removed" from her current situation and moved to somewhere else instead. 😏
Does that mean they´re literally gonna steal her? Well, when you ask the Denalis, that´s a clear YES, lmao. Vampires are territorial creatures, and not just when it comes to their land.
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MC, on the other hand?
Somehow, I don´t think she´d mind being "stolen" all that much. Guess we´ll have to wait and see. 😅
ANYHOW-
I think it´s safe to say no stone would be left unturned if MC got kidnapped.
...Again.
Honestly-
When has this become her life? Why has this become her life? Girl´s being passed around like a bag of potato chips. 🥔🍟😭
But, yknow, I think it´s just so funny to imagine the Denalis acting all outraged and righteous in the face of MC being abducted when they´ve literally done the same to her. Talk about fucking double standards-
Kate: "But we stole her first!"
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...Well okay then. Makes sense.
(It really doesn´t.)
ANYWAY-
I don´t think "our" Cullens would ever steal anything, much less anyone, that belongs to their cousins and vice versa. And, if they did, the feeling of betrayal would be so severe that it would destroy any kind of trust they´ve built over the decades (or centuries? not sure how long they´ve known each other tbh). There´s just no coming back from that because, in the territorial world of vampires, stealing is kinda the lowest you can get. It´s just...you just don´t do that, aight?
If it was a nomad or someone like Victoria, well-
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There´s no "family ties" holding them back this time.
No mercy.
.
.
.
Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋
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kendrixtermina ¡ 6 months ago
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Space Babies
I did not like the overly silly & unserious beginning sequence, but once they landed on the spaceship it got solid, & there’s an actual sense of exploration, mystery, sensowunder & familiar thematic beats since the persistence of humanity, the solving things by talking („just creatures you haven’t met yet“), the Doctor as confident, enthusiastic & very experiened.
Ruby just had more emotional reactions in 2 minutes than all the Chibnall companions did in the entire opening two-partner. She’s woved by space. She’s showing concern for the Doctor. She’s awed at seeing humanity’s survival. She’s guessing & thinking.
UGH im just so glad.
Like she manages to seem like a person while continuing to be established as someone who rolls with crazy very well, as in the previous episode. It’s the little subtle reactions & questions that still make her seem like a person / functional audience surrogate.
That opening dialogue is a good summary of the Doctor as an explorer.
Ovsly they’re expositioning a lot of the lore of the Doctor’s backstory for any new fans who are only starting to watch wth this ‚era‘, but they’re also showing us where he arrived at as a character after his time with Donna.
He’s still rushing from place to place & being a tad blunt at it, he’s still glossing over heavy serious stuff by saying it lightly, but he’s come a long way since Martha had to forcbly drag the backstory out of him, and found a renewed sense of joy & purpose.
I love how they’re doing his reactions of being excited by the weird. Like, there’s the character I like again! (I suppose run with RTD’s patchup of explaining 13s OOC-ness with burnout, I don’t think that’s what Chibnall was doing, but it’s the best they could do & an unboring concept. I kinda wish we could just ignore the timeless child nonsense completely but I realize why that’s not possible, at least they’re actually showing him having an opinion about it. (‚the adopted one was the one to survive‘)
Like they’re actually trying to give it some meaning & have the character say what it means to him (exactly the thing Chibnall just never did with the twist for the sake of twist) & tying it into some celebration of diversity, which like strikes me as how the Doctor’s character would react to such a thing. They’re steering it away from ‚specialest little boy‘ & having him still identify with the culture he grew up with. (it probably lands better than it could have otherwise because they’re having someone from an immigrant family like Gatwa perform it. Like he’s got other roots but probably also sees Britain as his home & part of him? More sort of how many immigrants in europe tend to see themselves rather than the US American culture = genes nonsense. ‚In Germany I‘m the Turkish kid but when I go to Turkey I notice I’m very German’ type of thing. )
I still hate the timeless child thing with a passion & still wish it didn’t exist, but this is probably the best way to salvage it.
It’s telling that they’re not even using the fancy mary suey title „timeless child“ but having him say he was randomly found & no one knows where he cae from etc. that’s a different framing/flavoring less eviscerating of the character & less invalidating of all the previous stuff.
Well. I got the time jigzaw line, im grateful for it, its explicitly ambiguous what the og backstory was.
Especially in the context of the current arc with the rewritten universe, it does make sense that he doesn’t even know what his original backstory was, he’s kind of outlived not just Gallifrey, but his OG timeline, his OG version of the universe, sort of a unaligned unmoored chaotic existence. Theres some pathos to that, and you can see Ncuti channeling a bunch of his own feelings into it.
Though this makes me wonder how they’ll handle the Master when he comes back, if he’s now the one that did it in place of the Daleks. )
A speaking baby is unexpectedly funny, especially since they move their lips XD
I also love how much Ruby & the Doctor are obviously having fun together and acting like actual friends.
I keep being excited over low bar things but, like, UGH Chibnall traumatized me.
Still, they ARE actually doing a good job at showing Ruby & the Doctor behaving like friends, especially in the way they’re making jokes & gesturing.
They comitted to the ‚kindergarten meets space accident‘ aesthetic…
I love how Ruby immediately kicks into Big Sister Mode. The last episode we mostly got to know her family but there wasn’t so much on Ruby herself so in these episodes we’re probably going to focus on her.
The babies act like a mix between serious astronauts and actual babies xD
I love how sucinct & archetypical the answer of „The Bogeyman“ is. No uneccessary Fluff.
And though he’s warmer & more open, the doctor is still distinctly his a tad insensitive, big ego self.
So that’s the reveal.
I like this. This kinda miscarriage of justice situation and a random accountant who doesn’t know how to run anything being the one who stayed behind. „they won’t stop the babies being born but won’t care for them“… badum tsch.
Ohh, ohh the refugee line. That’s SO on point. That’s all the shit I’m mad about in current european politics. That’s not pulling punches.
I love how Ruby is the one to piece together the fairytale logic.
Like the Doctor’s excited to be learning the ‚new physics‘, but he’s the physicist. Ruby is kind of a fairytale protagonist, crazy number of siblings included.
Erics’s little toy sword :(((
Ruby’s actress NAILED this one. Like her concern & everything.
(oh thank fuck there are feelings in this show again)
RTD was rather good at world building, wasn’t he? Like making unique little one-off settings. Yeah, he had his flaws with the resent button endings & overblown pathos at times, but I always thought he did worldbuilding & flavor text pretty well. I like Joycelyn.
So yeah, we’re definitely getting to know Ruby in this episode and she’s pretty proactive & rolling with the punches a lot. Like she improv’d the distraction, she decided she was going with the Doctor etc. like, a lot of companions would have stayed with the babies (for different reasons), or gone with the Doctor mostly out of worry for him and have an emotional moment here, but Ruby’s like, just casually deciding here. She’s very ‚cool‘.
And she's embroiled in some kind of never-seen-before phenomenon. But after Donna, Amy & Clara that's just average tuesday for the Doctor at this point. Unknown Phenomena go Brr!
Must be wild for Ruby that this super-experienced time-traveller guy can't explain her.
Like I’m already getting a sense of ‚what would Ruby do if you throw her at a given situation‘ which fucking Chibnall couldn’t give us with 3 seasons and 3 characters to contrast off each other.
I love how they save the monster, too. I love the TARDIS key scene and how the Doctor’s actually excited to have Ruby on his team, & actually asking her. (war flashback to that compilation of prev Doctors inviting their companions enthusiastically except for the very awkward chibnall scenes or how 13 barely showed any emotion when any of them left)
it’s fucking Doctor Who again. The HUMANIST THEMES! The xenophile eccentric nerd protagonist. The friendship & humanity & shit.
It’s the show that I used to like that I didn’t fucking recognize in Chibnal’s trashfire except for, like, the one stray good-ish ep per season.
I’ll take it. I’m like, the Dad from ‚the Prodigal Son‘ today.
I lost it & it came back, I’ll take it.
Love also how this time the Doctor has the 'no undoing the past' convo right away to pre-empt a repeat of 'Father's Day'.
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gear-project ¡ 2 years ago
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Okay, let me get this straight. In GG Strive, the USA president is... Anti war? Like, omg, WHAT, like, how did one of the most pro war countries in the entire world even voted for a president like that? Don't get me wrong, I would love to see that in real life, but it's honestly incredibly funny just thinking about that posibility even if it's just a fictional story LOL
It's a bit complicated, but in-context it was explained in the Butterfly and Her Gale novel.
Basically, the Assassins' Organization (yes, Venom's group) was hired to set up America to go to WAR with Zepp.
The details are kindof fuzzy about whom would stand to gain from a war between America and Zepp, but regardless, the Assassins basically intended on putting a "puppet President" in the White House.
That's where Erica comes in… she was an orphan who was essentially put in that role against her will.
The Assassins posed as Zepp Soldiers who would effectively attack and kill Erica, using her Death as the trigger for the War.
This makes even less sense when you consider the idea they CHOSE her to be President and THEN CHOSE to kill her.
It's not like the public were even remotely aware of her being installed in-office (nor was she elected normally).
But well… it makes a BIT more sense if you consider what the Conclave wanted to do: put America in its pocket.
The United Nations Members had a lot to do with placing Erica in her position as well, even giving her Presidential authority. And of course the Conclave controls who works for the U.N. (as if they didn't already control the Assassins directly on both sides).
Still, as stated, they wanted a "Profitable War" that could drum up conflict and weapon production, but what they DIDN'T count on was a certain heroic rogue NINJA.
So how does a single Ninja like Chipp Zanuff play in to all of this?
Well, in basic terms, he saved Erica's life BEFORE she was going to be assassinated, so regardless of what roles they planned for her, Chipp's interference basically nullified any plans the Conclave or even the Assassins had for the American Government at that time.
Not only that, but Chipp used his connections with ZEPP to broker a Treaty WITH Erica and basically turn the tables on anyone who would want a war between the nations.
Of course, Chipp also had to deal with his archnemesis Volf (the man who indirectly killed his master Tsuyoshi), but for the most part Chipp's involvement in the faux conspiracy nipped it in the bud.
Erica was saved (even despite getting nearly fatally wounded, which Dr. Faust promptly treated), her Foster Matron was saved as well, and anyone involved in the U.N. debacle that was connected with America, the Assassins, and the Conclave, were effectively neutralized (it was also a major bust thanks to Ky Kiske's efforts working as International Police Commissioner at that time).
So, Erica served her term as an "actual President", Chipp finished his training, and a few years later, Erica works in the White House alongside current President Vernon E. Grobitz.
Vernon's policies for Peace are very much the same as Erica's… of course, his predilection for Football might be his own personal tastes.
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absurdlyriveting ¡ 6 days ago
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Who wants to read a super long rant I wrote in the middle of the night without my glasses about how TV writing for this one show should be better from a non-writer who has no business commenting on any of this? You do? Ok, here you go.
So I just watched the St Denis Medical pilot. I recognize some of the cast, including one of the main characters — the nurse in charge. Really like that actress (Good Girls anyone?). But overall I found that the show was just… not very funny. (I didn’t like The Office either, I’m sorry. But I do like Parks & Rec)
And look, most pilots aren’t great and it does actually take time for shows to find their footing. We shouldn’t all be so hasty to write off a show because of its pilot. Still though, I couldn’t stop thinking about this one thing.
I really could not root for the head nurse. 
Just. No.
She was an obvious workaholic control freak, they basically say as much in the episode. and she’s aware of this and had multiple opportunities to prioritize her family and she just. Didn’t. And it made her kind of suck as a person. Obviously this is more “realistic” right? This is a problem many people have. There can be comedy in between the lines, I get it. It’s probably what they’re going for. But I just found her to be incredibly disappointing. 
Am I supposed to hope she grows and becomes less neurotic and actually spends time with her loved ones? Because honey she should already be doing that. Am I rooting for divorce because her unnamed/unseen spouse must obviously be upset with her for constantly missing shit because a person can only be so supportive and understanding for so long? I mean… sorta yeah. Should I hope she finds her ideal work/life balance? I really don’t give a fuck. She’s a disappointment right here and now. Even though she’s nice and friendly, I just don’t like her that much. You can be the nicest, most caring person in the world, but it sucks when your family doesn’t get the same importance as random strangers or your job do. I’m making this far more extreme than it is (she isn’t that horrible, truly) and I know she will probably grow and evolve and we will get more context and background and blah blah blah, but it did make my brain start churning. 
So then I thought, how would I have made this funny? How do I root for a person who is missing their kid’s school play (hopefully with an actual valid reason)? 
What if, instead of the character being a shitty person who fails as a parent and partner because they make bad choices, they instead were forcibly put into rock & hard place situations? This current main character only had one true moment like that, which is when the woman collapsed at the end. she had no choice but to stay and help. It was the right thing to do. BUT all the other times she did have a choice and should have fucking left the hospital.  
So my new made-up character is instead constantly in these situations against their very obvious will. Perhaps they have a nickname, like “Magnet” because they are always attracting the worst situations. Magnet is probably aware that everybody calls them Magnet, but definitely doesn’t want to acknowledge it or hear it said out loud (they ignore it if they hear it) because saying it might make it even more true. 
Magnet is always trying to do something else. They’re always trying to leave. But they are constantly “right place, wrong time.” Yes they can totally help you, but did it have to be right now? 
They are a compassionate person, yes, but an easily frustrated one. All new staff members are warned, if you have plans then you better not be in the same room as Magnet right beforehand. Lighting doesn’t strike once, it strikes all the damn time, 3ft away, and sometimes catches on fire. 
“No, no, no! You can’t just collapse right here in the exit! I have to leave to go to my kid’s soccer game! Absolutely not! Where are my nurses god dammit! Somebody save this man so I can go see my kid save a goal!”
(person coding or some shit) “Sir, either you DIE or you RESPOND TO TREATMENT. RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW. I have places to be so pick a lane IMMEDIATELY SIR… ah yes, excellent. You made the right decision. Thank you for not dying.”
“Look I know you’re like bleeding and stuff on my shoes, but this other nurse is so much better at stitches than me and she’s just doing paperwork while I have an important thing to get to, so…” 
“JANET you BETTER NOT be having an ALLERGIC REACTION for the FIFTH TIME today. We did this already! and I can’t keep telling you to not eat peanuts no matter how delicious a Snickers is! Don’t you dare touch that candy wrapper Janet so help me god.”
“I’m sure you’re lovely and a wonderful date, but I’m happily married and am looking forward to having a dinner and a movie with my spouse tonight and would really appreciate if you would put your clothes on right now and stop throwing my very important medical supplies on the ground because they aren’t slutty enough.”
“Why isn’t anybody helping this woman already? She is obviously in distress! I am in a rush, but even I noticed she needed immediate attention. I cannot believe you people work here sometimes. Oh she was fine right up until I walked in front of her? Sure, yeah, of course she was fine. It was definitely me and not her obvious injury/illness!”
“Ok look, you’re making me 20 minutes late to my kids pool party, but they will flip out when they find out that I saved a bunch of people cosplaying as Power Rangers. once you’re all bandaged up, can I get a pic for them?”
“Hey Doc! Over here! Yes she fainted right on top of me. No, I don’t know why. That’s your job, you’re the doctor. She’s breathing and everything otherwise appears normal. I have literally no other insight to add because this just happened. So I’ll just shift her weight over onto this other very capable nurse who also went to school for as long as I did, and be on my way. See ya later! Hope you feel better ma’am!”
“Why is 5pm always seizure-o-clock? Can’t anyone have a seizure at 3:45 anymore? I mean, lets be reasonable here.”
Magnet is always having people collapse, bleed, become critical, etc right in front of them anywhere and anytime they have places to be. They will always do their best to help whoever is in medical trouble if it’s actually urgent, but this is just a JOB and they know how to delegate. “Oh the computers went down? Nurse do you know how to write up a patients information on an intake form? And do you still know how to write a prescription Doctor? And IT is working on it? Ok great, if you have questions then text me, but I trust that my right-hand nurse has got this. Jimmy if you tell me you forgot how to write with a pencil and paper because you only use speech-to-text then you really need to re-evaluate your career as a medical professional. See you tomorrow!” 
Sometimes though, they must respond and that’s just how it is. Frankly, we wouldn’t root for someone who is heartless, and they aren’t THAT big of an asshole. It’s played for comedy, not for mean-spiritedness. 
“Of course I will hold your hand ma’am. Nothing is more important than you being ok. I know you’re scared, but I’ve got you. There’s definitely nowhere else I need to be right now. It will all be ok.”
Also maybe the other nurses really love Magnet’s spouse because they get brought baked goods by them once a month and are the only adult person who makes Magnet go from grumpy to immediately happy. So whenever Magnet is just fully unable to leave and they know it might be a while, they text (sometimes with a photo as long as it doesn’t break Hipaa) Magnet’s spouse to keep them updated. There is a constant line of communication.
“M. Spouse you’re gonna want to move your reservations, Magnet is trying to subdue a patient who is very high on many different drugs right now. Also those muffins were amazing btw.”
(5 min later) Magnet def gets very injured by said patient. 
“Actually M. Spouse, cancel those reservations, Magnet got LIGHTLY stabbed but don’t worry it was VERY gentle and will only require a few stitches and also maybe make it hard for them to use utensils, so I recommend ordering in.”
Cut to Magnet in the background “God dammit that was my fork-holding hand! How am I supposed to eat fancy overpriced anniversary steak now!!!! (grumble grumble) Does my hair still look ok at least?”
Maybe Magnet also loves kids and is truly a different, very patient person in front of them. Kids are never as inconvenient as the adults because they’re kids. So sometimes the staff sort of use the kids to break tension in a funny way. 
“I can’t BELIEVE how stupid that dipshit motorcyclist was— Oh hi sweetie! Are you looking for your mommy? Oh the nurse told you I had candy did she? Uh huh, I wonder why she sent you all the way over here, definitely not where you’re supposed to be at all, for a really cool reason like getting a piece of free candy even though there’s a bowl behind the nurses’ counter. Yes let’s go over there now and get you a piece and maybe not beat up that reckless motorcyclist. You should just stick with your bicycle…”
There’s so many ways you can play with this. And I would constantly be on Team Magnet. We know, without a doubt, that whenever they try to go somewhere or do something important that there will be an obstacle. So the challenge is then, how will it be funny and also how will it work out in the end in a way that makes me still root for the character and their interpersonal relationships? We don’t want them to be a straight up asshole all the time. They should get very concerned when things are super serious and bad. And they get upset if other people aren’t taking something seriously enough. But if Janet needs yet another epi-pen then by god will they be annoyed as shit in a hilarious way because that was a totally avoidable situation and only happens when Magnet is around anyway.
The staff would also be very aware. New staff member at a meeting: “Where is Magnet?” Everybody else: laughs. 15 minutes later Magnet walks in. “Sorry, was delivering a baby in my neighbors driveway. They named him Steve. Weird name for a baby. It’s not even short for Stephen. Just baby Steve. So what did I miss? Thanks for taking notes for me again Carol, you’re the best.”
Perhaps as seasons progress Magnet can also start to attract cool things. “How do you always get the celebrities and super rare diseases and I get someone with uncomfortable gas?” “My winning personality.”
You could also have an entire episode where the comedy is that everything goes completely smooth and normal with no big interruptions or emergencies, but Magnet and the other staffers are increasingly paranoid all day because chaos is normal, and this feels like calm before a storm. They’re peering around corners like James Bond looking for a villain. Cut to the day is over and Magnet gets in their car feeling relaxed and satisfied with a job well done, smile on their face… but then a car accident happens right behind them. “Aw man. So close!” (Begrudgingly gets out of car, credits roll.)
So back to home life. Magnet’s family always knows that they will try to put them first. And maybe this type of character would be a good foil for current iteration of Nurse-in-charge at St Denis. Magnet is someone who knows their priorities and pushes really hard to keep their promises and make things happen even in the face of medical emergencies. It isn’t perfect and it doesn’t always work out, but they have supportive (and very entertained) colleagues and a loving partner and kids. The partner does understand (“I know what I signed up for, and that’s a person who cares a lot about helping people, and even more about their family.”)  because even if Magnet is always 20 minutes late, they ALWAYS show up unless it’s truly life or death for someone. And they get frequent updates from Magnet and/or the other staff so they aren’t blind sighted or waiting around for hours with no news. The muffins are multi-faceted bribes/gifts after all. 
Yes, this is me being so sick of every couple in every show having drama solely based off of bad communication. 
Maybe the kids are upset sometimes but are usually ok with it because Magnet has cool work stories and maybe brings home souvenirs (“look, this nail was in somebody’s arm today! no, don’t touch it, that’s gross”) and also constantly communicates with them. (“I’m so sorry I was late buddy, but you know how much I love you and that I wanted to be here right? I loved seeing you win that final tournament. Would you show me at home the cool karate moves you used on your first opponent? I know spouse took a video of that match, but I’d love for YOU to show me.”) And again, Magnet does show up the majority of the time, even if its a little later than planned. So the family knows to tell them 4:00pm when they really mean 5:30pm. Because they’re “Magnet.” They will attract a problem. The family knows the nickname and are very aware. 
“It’s Halloween! I was supposed to be home by 2pm for trick-or-treating! And yet somehow every time I go to the door, another puking vampire shows up to ruin my third pair of shoes! …Oh, Spouse texted and said trick-or-treating is at 6pm? Yeah, I guess 2pm was early. No it didn’t occur to me that they lied about the time. So wait, if I leave now I can be an hour early? Amazing! (starts walking toward the exit, gets puked on again) God dammit that’s my fourth and final pair!!!!! Fuck it, I’m driving home with puke shoes. (over their shoulder while walking to the exit) Whoever pulls my name for Secret Santa this year, I want waterproof shoes and a 10 pack of socks please and thank you. Happy Halloween everyone!”
I would root for Magnet all day, every day. 
Give me Magnet. Not micromanager who undervalues her family. Please and thank you.
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savingnightfall ¡ 4 months ago
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Dealing with crazy bf's dad
lately between me and my partners relationship and life our biggest hater and challenge has been his dad. typically, i only really hear of SO mothers hating their sons' daughters but it's the opposite case here. i want to post here because it's not something they would easily find as we currently lease under his house at the moment. it's stated that he can void it at any moment for any reason, which brings me a lot of anxiety. but i want advice on how to deal with this sort of stress that otherwise could be dealt with if we were talking about someone who had the usual amount of ego and accountability.
unfortunately, we are dealing with someone i can't describe otherwise other than a narcissist. i really don't like using that word lightly because it's a heavy word, but with everything that I've seen and heard i have to agree with my partner. I've made a list of different things that he has claimed i have done. i want to go through some of them but first i want to explain some context.
I've been living with my bf for a year and some mo., and we've been together for nearly 2 years now. during this time his father has recently went through a divorce and we had to move another state. there were a couple of things promised that fell through that i can explain in another post, but due to the price we decided to continue staying with him so we can save more money and have more time to look for places. everything was going really fast. I've tried being nice and understanding his multitudes of reasons he could be acting harshly, but his claims are baseless and I'm tired of hearing them through my partners mouth instead of directly to me. I've tried having conversation with him, but its tense and we don't have a lot in common, i don't mind that sometimes it is what it is, but the constant disrespect and reluctance to speak to me is what tires me out. here are some of said baseless claims that he's said to other people instead of me:
starting small and inconvenient
steal his water bottles from the fridge
ruin the washer on purpose to destroy it and the household with it
imply he cannot buy anything. i sent a message asking that i noticed someone using my coffee machine, which is fine, but i asked for them to use a coffee filter so there's less of a mess. he bought a bigger coffee machine. the exact same.
semi-serious
not buy anything for the household and claims i use my boyfriend for his money and i take advantage of him. i buy literally so much it's not even funny. I've made decent improvements on my spaces i have access to and i make meals for my bf, his brother and I. i don't eat his food and when i do i suggest buying the next (mostly chicken). i don't even know what to say to this.
we were promised a basement, and we got a room. no previous disclosure it was the same day that we saw the new house. we asked for at least another space, either public or private to use. offered to spend more money for it but was declined. his brother wanted to make into a public chill-out space because its being used as storage space but was told that he shouldn't let us take advantage of him so we can steal the room. steal the room. might as well steal the moon too while we're at it.
hes called olur jobs personally to see if me and my bf were lying about the day that we quit. they told him its been a couple months, as it has. my bf thinks hes bluffing but its not out of character for him so i believe it. pretty stupid but the action is crazy to me.
serious claims
thankfully right now its down to one, he hasnt said it to me which makes me think it was just another thing to blame on me, and he realizes its baseless, but hes half said/joked that before he went on a weekend trip with his gf i tried getting into his bank account. he apparently got a notif taht there was an attempt on his account and one of his first thoughts were me.
so, with all of this not only does he not communicate with me, and continue to make these claims, he doesn't expect me to know either. he has said most of this stuff (and more nasty stuff about me) to either my bf or his brother, but he doesn't know i know. this is our last lease with him and its only 2 months, but since I'm not able to properly defend myself to him, i want to know if anyone's dealt with something like this and any good tips on either getting out or making it easier for the rest of the time we have. I'm grateful to have my bf to stand up for me, but he's equally exhausted because of all the mental and emotional abuse from him. everyone just wants to be away from everyone. it's expected we most likely will cut off contact when we move out. sorry for the long post, thank you if you made it this far and thank you for any input you can give.
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colorfuldream ¡ 10 months ago
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Oh boy, I'm very much French. Thought it was obvious I spoke it lol.
All our insults kinda sound like we're spitting them out. It's hilarious. Guess that's how our language works. I find "salope" more violent, the way it flows feels aggressive. But hey, any of these work and that part is at least well-translated! (Which isn't hard to do because there's like 5 words 😭)
RefoulĂŠ never, ever means anything else than gay when there is nothing next to it. That is its current meaning, has been for decades. Any French person would think of it immediately.
I am indeed saying it confirms the gay theory when it shouldn't. That's the translator making shit up. It's the worst time to do it because, as I said, the context makes it homophobic. I doubt that Kotoko is supposed to be a homophobe like what 💀 With her sense of justice, I doubt she would be, much less accept homophobes. Same logic with the slur, I doubt she's ableist. The lyrics have her mock Mikoto for his self-pity thing, not shit on him for having DID. The meaning in the lyrics is incredibly important, that's why botching the translation this badly matters so much. Something like "trompeur" could work? Not that word as it doesn't fit well (though it brings the cheating angle forward which does fit with Kotoko's intentions) but there are a million words to use instead. It's the fact that a slur is already used that makes it suspicious. At best, it's a badly-done job that was clearly rushed. At worst, it was purposefully offensive. No matter what, it's not a good look for the project and absolutely deserves backlash.
As for the r-slur, oh we fucking know. We just don't give a damn. The only times I've heard it used was as a slur. Some choose to reclaim it but I don't run in those circles enough to know. France's never been too fond of mental health so it's normal that this one slur doesn't carry the same weight as the English equivalent. It's still fucking offensive though. The translation just did that for shits and giggles. As I said, they could have easily been close to the actual lyrics and used "pauvre de lui/toi" or even, if they HAD to insult Mikoto, any synonym of "stupid". I could see her say "dĂŠbile" or go as far as calling him "pauvre con".
I can't believe the damn English version has a better translation. It rarely happens outside of Milgram. Are... Are we falling off?! Are we being beat as the weeb country?? National shame I tell you. I don't think France's ever gonna recover 😔
I totally agree that Kotoko is in her incel era omfg! I cringed so much during her MV. Harrow was already cringe enough, this time it's just like... Girl,,, take a break. She's going on an edgy dark rant like she's the damn Joker or something 💀
French Kotoko is homophobic and ableist which is kinda funny ngl
Just as reference: here's a compilation of the bad bad words said in the french subs of Deep Cover
(cw for homophobia, ableism, sexism)
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RefoulĂŠ => repressed
Very derogatory when used to talk about a person. The homophobic insult "gay refoulĂŠ" or "homo refoulĂŠ" is common enough that WordReference pulled it up when I was looking up translations of "refoulĂŠ" in English.
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So potential homophobic undertones here if you want to read it that way.
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AttardĂŠ => retarded
...no comment
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Pute => Whore
Very derogatory, very violent (no for real tho. even if it didn't mean what it means, this words' pronunciation sounds so violent for no reason, like have you tried saying it?? It sounds so aggressive)
So anyway, I made this just in case this could be of interest to someone 🤷‍♂️
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itsallyscorner ¡ 3 years ago
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“Move the plans”
Pairing: Florence Pugh x actress!reader (platonic)
Summary: Florence tells you to cancel your plans when she ends up in New York.
Warnings: Nothing really bad. Mentions lactose intolerance? Idk if that’s sensitive to people. Probably some spelling errors.
A/n: Hello darlings! I’m back from my unannounced break. I decided to write a platonic Florence fic because she’s a sweetheart and I loved her as Yelena! Also for those who follow me, don’t worry, I will be working on a sequel to my Tom Holland “Sour” fic!! But for now, please enjoy this fic!😚💕
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
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(Loml)
✧───── ・ 。゚★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧
You stood backstage in front of a mirror, looking at your appearance and making sure there were no wrinkles on the dress you wore. Your hairstylist was behind you, fluffing your hair and managing the stray baby hairs on your head. You were currently at NBC Studios in New York City, about to do an interview with the infamous, Jimmy Fallon. Tingles buzzed through your skin as you heard the cheers and music from the stage. Jimmy’s voice can be heard faintly backstage, only adding to your growing excitement.
The sound of heels clicking approached you, it took less than a second for you to feel the warm presence of Florence behind you. The both of you were starring in the upcoming Black Widow movie alongside Scarlett Johansson; after months of working together and spending days hanging out, you and Florence had become very close friends. She was, without a doubt, your favorite person in the world. Since the moment you met her, she had always been the most sweetest and caring person you’ve ever met—and you were proud to say you had her in your corner.
You met Flo’s eyes in the mirror and bright smiles were instantly on your faces. Turning around, you open your arms wide, and wrap them around her. Bear hugs were a must in your friendship with Flo, you both just loved receiving hugs from each other.
“Ahhh! I told you that dress would be perfect for tonight, you look stunning!” She squealed, tightening her arms around you. A day before Jimmy Fallon, you and Flo had been at your place with your stylist, picking out which dress you should wear for the interview. The dress was casual, but the color was so ever vibrant that it made the dress pop.
You pulled out the hug and looked at what she was wearing. Her gorgeous blonde hair was curled into loose locks and her dress was just as vibrant as yours. The pink of her dress and the orange (yellowish?) of yours complimented each other. Which coincidentally enough, was a parallel of your lovely friendship with Florence.
“Me? Flo, you look gorgeous! I’m so obsessed with this look!” You help her twirl, hyping her up as she showed off her outfit. After sneaking in a little mirror selfie and posting it onto Instagram, the two of you were given a five minute warning from one of the crew members. You and Flo were moved to stand behind the curtain, waiting for your cues to walk onto the stage.
While the two of you were getting mic’d up, Florence leaned closer to you.
“Can I be completely honest with you?” She mumbled, her stare remaining on the curtain before her. Your brow raises in curiosity as your head slightly turns to look at her.
“Of course, hun. What’s up?” You ask, your attention on her. She sighs and leans even closer so only you can hear her.
“I feel like I’m about to shit my pants.” She admits, swallowing nervously. Your mouth gapes, “Did you have iced coffee too?”
Flo’s face scrunches up in confusion, “N-no! That was me telling you I was nervous! Did you have iced coffee?” She fully turns to look at you and judging by the look of guilt plastered across your face, you did in fact have iced coffee.
“Maybe?” You answer, though it came out more like a question. Florence rolls her eyes at you.
“(Y/n), how many times do you have to be reminded that you’re lactose intolerant?” She scolded you.
You scoff, holding a hand up at her, “Trust me, I’m reminded every time I sit on a toilet.” You shake your head, trying to refocus the conversation.
“This isn’t about my poor digestive system—why are you nervous?”
She sighs, “I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I’m used to doing interviews and stuff. But I haven’t been on Jimmy Fallon, and there’s an audience out there and I don’t want to mess up or accidentally spoil the movie.”
You place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “You may be British, but you’re not Tom Holland. You won’t spoil anything.” You start. She quickly shoots you a look that screams, “you’re not helping”. You make a gesture physically telling her that you’re getting to the point.
“You’re going to be fine! I mean you did Jimmy Kimmel right? This shouldn’t be that different, it’s the same thing—just different studios, in different states, and different Jimmy’s.” You point out. She nods along as you continue, “Plus, I’m gonna be up there with you. You won’t be alone.”
With the help of your reassurance and witty little comments, Florence felt her anxiousness simmer down. They weren’t completely gone but the fact that you were gonna be up there together made her relax more. Being part of Marvel had its pros and cons. Sure, the movies are spectacular and the actors are outstanding. Though when it comes to doing promo for said movies, it can be quite stressful. It’s a known fact that Marvel and it’s executives can be quite strict when it comes to interviews with anyone involved in the making of their films—their strictness made sense, although for first time MCU members, it took some getting used to.
Florence smiles at you, “Thank you.”
You playfully nudge her shoulder with yours, “Don’t worry about it.” You say with a kind smile.
The wholesome moment was interrupted by one of the stagehands telling you and Florence that the two of you were on in 15 seconds.
“Our guests tonight are making their big MCU debut in the new Black Widow film, please welcome (Y/n) (L/n) and Florence Pugh!”
⚘
“So in the movie, there’s three of you guys—where’s the other one?” Jimmy asked, motioning his hand to the small space between you and Flo.
“She’s at home I believe.” Florence answered, glancing at you. “She’s busy doing stuff, you know—adult things.” She added.
You took the opportunity to make a joke and said, “Yet here we are promoting her movie.” You roll your eyes playfully. The crowd bursts out laughing, along with Jimmy, who smacked his desk.
“You know, we deserve a raise for this.” Flo considers, going along with your joke. She slightly snorts and nudges your arm with her elbow. “We could take Scarlett’s check and just split it in half for ourselves.”
“Problem solved.” You shrugged, high fiving her.
Another round of laughs fill the room as Jimmy says, “So you’re both taking Scarlett’s money?”
Jokingly, you nod in approval, “By the end of this interview? Definitely.”
Dropping the bit, you shake your head with a grin on your face. “I’m kidding! I’m only joking, I wouldn’t do that to her, even if I were forced to.”
Jimmy moves on as a picture of you, Florence, and Scarlett pops up on the screen. The picture had been posted on your Instagram and was taken while the three of you were filming in between takes. You were taking the selfie while Scarlett and Florence were poking their heads out from behind you making funny faces.
“I can’t imagine how exciting it is to be on a Marvel set, and to even work with one of the first ever heroes in the MCU—that must be insane!” Jimmy exclaims, motioning to another picture of the three of you.
“It’s unbelievable. To work alongside Scarlett and to follow this kind of path that she’s paved in the MCU is an honor. She really was like our older sister behind the scenes, because she was always guiding us and taking care of everyone. She’s the best.” Florence responded while you nodded in agreement.
“I watched the movie last night and one of the things I enjoyed the most was the dynamic the three of you had. You guys were like actual siblings.” Jimmy mentioned, motioning between you and Flo.
Florence giggled before squeezing you into a tight hug, “Yeah, she’s my big sister.” You smiled beamingly, patting her cheek before she let go.
“No, really! She’s like my actual younger sister.” You tell the audience, who “awed” at the hug you both shared. “We spent months on this movie and we spent every single day with each other. By the middle of production, we were basically roommates.”
“Roommates?” Jimmy questioned, leaning his elbows on his desk.
“Because I was always at her house.” Florence answered in a ‘duh’ tone. “I’ve actually grown an attachment to (Y/n), she’s like my comfort blanket. So I need to have her with me at all times. If she’s not with me, I just won’t leave the house.”
“Speaking of your attachment to (Y/n), there’s this video of you that you apparently sent her?” Jimmy gestured at you, “And you posted it on your Instagram and now the whole internet is obsessed with it.”
“Yup, that’s the one.” You confirmed.
“I know there’s probably some people who haven’t seen it, so here’s the video.” The video of Florence popped up on the screen and began to play.
(This fic was based on this TikTok😭)
Jimmy looked at you and Florence in amusement, “Can we get some context?”
Florence waved her hand at the screen and said, “As you can all see, I’m very persistent.”
“This wasn’t your first time sending her these kinds of videos?” Jimmy asked. You shook your head, a feign look of annoyance on your face.
“No, she does this all the time.”
“In my defense, I was unexpectedly flying out to New York for a project. I knew I was gonna be in the city for a few days, so I decided to call (Y/n) and make the most of my trip.” Flo defended herself, slightly pouting.
You leaned your head on her shoulder, “To be fair, it was also our first time seeing each other since we wrapped Black Widow, and we really missed each other.”
“(Y/n), did you have to move any plans?” Jimmy turns to you. Florence does the same.
“You know what, you never told me if you had plans or not.” She squints her eyes at you. Your arms crossed while your body slowly sunk into the couch.
You pretend to fix your lipstick, quickly muttering, “I might’ve moved some plans around.”
Florence’s mouth gapes in shock, her entire body freezing. She grips onto your shoulder, “Wait, you actually moved plans for me?”
“I might’ve rescheduled a lunch with someone, but that doesn’t really matter.” You replied, trying to move on from the topic. Jimmy pointed at you, a giant grin on his face, “You actually moved plans for Florence!”
Florence’s mouth was still wide in shock, “I can’t believe you actually moved plans for me—(Y/n)!” She whined.
“I missed seeing you, so of course I had to move them.” You bashfully explained, the corners of your lips turning upwards. Florence pulled you into a hug.
“Gosh, you really do love me!” She exclaimed.
“I really do!” You said, your arms wrapping around her as well.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
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antiloreolympus ¡ 3 years ago
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. lo hades def looks like he's into crypto, you know what I mean? especially bc you cant be taxed on it, the richer the better!
2. This isnt even just LO but why do so many of the romance comics have such a desire to sexualize barly legal young women who are of COURSE naive virgins (but also super sexy and horny and know how to flirt out of the blue!) and try and make us root for them to get into relationships with their Christian Grey knock-off bosses?? like Let's Play (spoilers I guess) thought it'd be funny to have the MC be in physical PAIN after having sex, like why are you showing your teen audience this???
3. Nah I feel the same way as other anon. LO is way too confused on whether it's a light hearted YA story or a serious drama for Mature™️ readers. Like the SA and (one) therapy session was more or less handled perfectly fine, but everything from the AOW to the Trial is either incredible goofy or tries way too hard to be "serious" with RS and her team both not putting the writing nor art skill into it to hold any weight. It just comes across as melodramatic and try-hard over genuine and well planned
4. There's so many "quirks" in LO's art that are bad but WHY is it a thing where when a character is just standing there their arms and legs are just glued to the side of their bodies like🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️🧍? that's not how even soliders at attention stand, there's still bones and muscles to account for but they end up with that end product? I just do not get how her and her team have probably 50+ years of art education and practice between them and yet they fail on such basic concepts every time.
5. I for one think that the differences between how characters slapping each other is depicted as either good or bad depending on who’s doing the slapping isn't hypocritical of RS: Hecate slaps Hades because she thinks he’s being predatory towards Persephone, this is a well-intentioned slap. Minthe’s slap on the other hand, is not justifiable because she was in the wrong in the context of that conflict: you don’t get to just stand your boyfriend up and hit him when he’s hurt by it.
6. it's just funny WT itself has a posting rule that your comic "cant show topics like incest or grooming" as if thats not the majority of the romance genre itself. yall ever read eggnoid? cmon now.
7. punderworld made a myth rec list and go figure some lo fans were in the comments saying "LO was all [they] needed" and its like how would you even know this episode happened unless you were subbed to punderworld, therefore proving they keep up with other myth comics? also the creator got upset at the lo fans being mad she didnt also rec LO as if its not the most advertised series on that whole site and she was promoting smaller creators. LO fans are so entitled even to other creators it's crazy.
8. I think the issue with the “let people like things” argument (and the fans do this so much) is that I’m All for that, I and every other critic isnt saying you can’t like, hell there’s parts of it I do like and wish there was more of! But if you go “just let people enjoy things!!” when it comes to legitimate criticism (ie misogyny, racism, classism, mishandling of trauma and assault to push a romance along, etc) you don’t care about others opinions, you just want them to like YOUR thing.
9. we already know rachel is a weeb but it's most obvious when it's a kissing scene because she does NOT draw lips but all of a sudden they get huge and glossy when theyre about to smooch but nothing else about the face adjusts with it and it's like what the hell is that 😭
10. i honestly dont blame lo fans for buying books of it even if the quality of it degrades rapidly after vol 1, once it ends (maybe in five years at this rate) webtoons will right away put it on daily pass which is notoriously a bad venue for rereads/new readers who missed when it was originally published and given how rachel has no sense of less is more, itll cost hundreds of dollars just to read the current 190+ episodes, much the many more shell milk out of it. might as well avoid that now 😵‍💫
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flashflashhundredyarddash ¡ 4 years ago
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batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG
dick
dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it
dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao
dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time
Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN
everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets
jason
would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip
him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge
tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.
jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost
cassandra
it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship
she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)
cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.
duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.
damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going
tim
tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.
listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.
tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.
tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.
tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian
duke
very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.
was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.
cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).
tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.
damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.
damian
damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf
listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).
Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.
DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.
CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.
Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers
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dukeofonions ¡ 4 years ago
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The Problem With Asides
Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 
And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 
That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 
(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)
Part One: The Concept of Asides
Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 
Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 
We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 
(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)
Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 
So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 
I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 
At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 
Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 
Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 
Part Two: Literally the Same Show
At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 
To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 
Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 
1. They’re just as angsty.
2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.
3. Take about just as long to produce.
4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 
Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 
ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 
Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.
So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 
For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 
(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 
It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.
All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?
So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 
Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 
You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?
Part Three: Intrusive Plots
At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 
Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 
Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”
And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.
DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.
We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 
We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 
This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 
Virgil. 
He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 
Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-
*insert random voice whispering off to the side*
 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 
*whispers continue*
Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 
*whispers explain*
Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?
*whispers confirm*
Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 
So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 
*whispers explain* 
He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 
Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 
Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 
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Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.
First here:
 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 
The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:
“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 
(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)
As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 
Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.
This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 
Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 
And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.
They stay silent.
Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.
Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 
We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.
*whispers return and begin to whisper*
I’m sorry what?
*whispers repeat*
Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 
*whispers whisper*
Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!
*whisper* 
In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?
*whisperly whisper*
They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 
*whispersty*
It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 
*whisper* 
Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 
Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 
Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 
Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?
Part Four: The Problem
Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 
When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 
The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 
Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 
The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 
Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 
We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 
Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 
You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 
FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 
We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 
Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 
It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 
We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.
All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?
The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.
Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.
Final Thoughts
Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 
But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 
Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.
I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 
We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 
We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.
(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)
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out-of-this-dimension ¡ 3 years ago
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Hypothetically Rewriting Assault’s Story + Some General Assault Opinions
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There’s a game my husband and I like to play when we watch a movie, play a game, or read a book that has a story that we don’t really enjoy or we enjoy certain parts of but not others.  We look at things we’d keep and things we’d change and we build a story from there-- sort of like an AU but we don’t really go into the writing part, we just stick to theorizing and mapping a general story.
I decided to play that game with Star Fox.  Not because I think Star Fox has a bad story but because sometimes I think the stories could have been handled better.  Note: for the rewrite game, I only really look at story, even for video games, I don’t really look at gameplay mechanics, but I do understand those have a lot to do with story potential so I do take it in as a factor... I just don’t bother to “rewrite” the mechanics, if that makes any sense at all.  Some of my list today will include boss encounters but I wouldn’t necessarily say those are mechanic-related... more like “event-related”.
I’ve mused a bit in the past about rewriting Adventures and Command and I do have plans to do a mock up of an Adventures remake eventually.  However, today I was thinking about how I would go about handling an Assault re-write in particular.  Much like Command and Adventures, I don’t have any beef with the core story but I do think there’s a few things that could’ve been better about Assault’s storyline-- like they had good ideas rolling but they didn’t quite refine them.
Under the cut because SUPER long.
My basic feelings on Assault are pretty positive.  I think the game is generally just fun and I like that it feels like the natural progression from SF64.  I liked getting to see planets we haven’t seen since the N64 era in better graphics and I liked seeing Star Wolf return.  I also just thought the aparoids were neat enemies. 
Generally speaking, though, when it comes to Assault, I think it suffers from the thing it tries to push the most-- the story.  I think a lot of people get caught up in thinking the story is better than it is because it’s the first game since SF64 that really follows the same Star Fox vibe without retelling the Lylat Wars.  Don’t get me wrong, the overall plot is great but the execution and pacing are... wonky.  Certain characterizations also take a hit in some regards but no one really talks about that when Command exists. That’s something we’ll talk about later on with this post.
That being said, Assault really does have a lot good going for it.  An absolute banger of a soundtrack, some great dialogue, a neat story synopsis, the introduction of cool characters like Panther and Beltino (who existed but was always off-screen), and just good levels.  
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So, here’s what I would add, I suppose, if I were to somehow have the ability to rewrite Assault.  Originally I had this in paragraph form, but I’ve made it into more of a list under topic segments with main points bolded for your viewing pleasure.  Some of these points might be considered nitpicky and while I do understand that yes, this is a game about space animals, I do hold the developers in high enough regard to make a game with a continuity that makes sense.
The Story Changes
- Reduce Pigma’s storyline in Assault.  This is the biggest one for me because a bulk of the plotline feels like a giant chase to just get at Pigma and it feels like it derails from the actual plot with the aparoids.  We only go to Sargasso because of Pigma.  We only go to Fichina and then back to Meteo again, because of Pigma.  That’s 3 levels in a 10 level game devoted to just tracking down Pigma and chasing him.  While it makes the build up to fighting Pigma kind of nice, I personally feel like the plot could be reduced to 2 levels.  If Assault overall was a longer game, I could see them making it 3 levels.  Overall, though, in its current state, I feel like the side plot overstays its welcome and the aparoids promptly get shoved to the side in favor of “Oh no, we gotta get to Pigma!” And I get the main motive here is to show how the aparoids affect people and because of the build up, it does a good job at showing how utterly terrifying the aparoids are.  But it’s still too long given the length of Assault’s story. The only alternative to this is make Assault longer, which... honestly, it should be.  
- Revise the scene with Tricky.  I’m obviously not well-versed in dinosaur biology but I’m pretty sure dinos didn’t grow that fast from what studying I HAVE done.  And why is he suddenly king now?  Did his parents die?  He seems not affected by this at all?  Like it’s a funny scene with him, Fox, and Krystal, but it’s odd if you really look at it.  Give us, as players, more context because I’m still not even sure what happened to make Tricky suddenly the leader and... big.  As a note, you’re gonna hear me gripe a lot about the Sauria level in this post.
- The Star Wolf + Peppy sacrifice is a low effort way to raise tension/stakes and then cop out.  Oldest trick in the book, imo, is to act like you’re going to kill off important characters only for them to be alive miraculously.  And let’s face it, as an audience we all know they aren’t going to kill those characters because it’s Nintendo and those characters are too beloved.  I would’ve forgiven them for only doing this with Peppy or Star Wolf, but when you tack them both together and throw in the fact they make it seem like you’re going to have to kill General Pepper too... yeah, it’s just a bit much of the same trope over and over again.  I wanted to put a note in here about how I’m fine with the Great Fox being “sacrificed” but overall, it needed to return to the series because of it’s icon status, but I think that’s more of a gripe at Command instead of Assault.
- Keep Pigma alive.  This will conflict with a point I have later on about the game consistently having characters cheat death for easy drama points but with Pigma, I would’ve kept him fully alive... but maybe with some physical damage from the aparoids.  I understand he���s semi-alive in Command and tbh I don’t know where I stand on that.  Why keep Pigma alive, you might ask?  I feel like his character has a lot more potential than being “just the greedy guy”.  Like he’s got good potential future villain material for future games and... if I’m honest?  I just don’t see Nintendo wanting to keep Pigma dead so why even bother killing him off?  They couldn’t even commit to him being dead in Command anyways so it seems very moot.
- Bring Bill and Katt back.  Assault is acts a bit like a big reunion of all of our SF64 favorites but our two favorite side characters are suspiciously missing.  Wouldn’t Bill be out on the front lines fighting against Andrew in the beginning?  Or maybe back in Katina?  And wouldn’t Katt inevitably show up in the midst of the invasion, maybe to pointedly check in on Falco?
- Bring Andrew back for the final fight. I think Andrew being defeated early into the game is fine overall but I think bringing him back in for a reunion final fight against the aparoids would serve to really solidify that it’s really everyone vs the invading aparoid force.  It would show that not only is Star Wolf willing to put aside their differences but so is basically everyone in the Lylat System in the name of survival.  Imagine the Venomians and Cornerians working together against an aparoid fleet, giving Star Fox and Star Wolf time to attack the queen?  I just think it’d be neat and it’d open up the potential for some fun banter mid-mission.  I do understand that quite a few people consider Andrew canonically dead after Assault but personally, I feel that his defeat left his fate questionable (I’m a staunch believer that unless there’s a body, they’re probably alive, especially for Nintendo games because, again, they never like to kill people off) so him returning in Command never really bothered me.  
- In general, reconsider some of the character portrayals.  Unfortunately, when a series has a different studio for each game, character portrayals will inevitably have inconsistencies.  While I give Namco a lot of credit for putting in oodles and oodles of detail into the game (particularly the levels), I think they failed in their portrayal of Fox, at the least, and Wolf is a considerable offender as well.  While it’s obvious that Fox in Adventures was effectively modeled off of Sabre even in terms of personality, Rareware was at least able to justify Fox’s newfound jaded attitude with the passing of many years and a distinct lack of steady income, resulting in the team being in disarray.  Assault’s Fox is a stark contrast to his cynical interpretation with seemingly no explanation other than maybe “Oh, I have more money and a gf, maybe I should behave myself”.  As if the sudden change in personality wasn’t random, Fox also just seems very blah, like a blank slate stereotypical shooter game protagonist dude with little to no emotion.  Wolf is less obvious but gets slated into a mentor-like role midway through the game and ends up in a respectful rivalry with Fox... which there’s nothing inherently wrong with that except for it happening abruptly (and, I mean, Peppy is right there).  But I take less issue with this and more of an issue with the fact that there’s an entire level establishing that Wolf now runs a crime den with effectively what seems to be an army and no one bats an eye at this.  He doesn’t even call on them to help with the aparoids.  Did they all die when the aparoids attacked Meteo?  Are they safe somewhere else?  Where do they go?  How was Sargasso able to operate without the CDF being on their doorstep with warrants for arrests?
- Don’t kill all the dinosaurs.  A bit of a dramatic statement but the ending screen that showed all the damage to Sauria really bothered me.  While I understand that the dinosaurs had less of a chance against the aparoids than a more technology-focused society like Corneria, I was a bit disappointed that the decision was made to just state that a lot of tribes had been wiped out.  I know this could easily be retconned in a future game and I feel like it should be.  “But why, Amalia?  Why are you disappointed by that?”  1) It’s a little too grimdark for my tastes.  2) The fact it all happened off-screen felt very hand-wavy.  And 3) It brings into question the entire point of Adventures.  Why did we bother to save this planet if it was going to be reduced to rubble and ash 1 year later?  Where were the Krazoa in all of this?  Why did they not make an appearance at all to try to stop the invasion with their alleged powers?  It just raises too many weird questions and I feel like Namco didn’t think it through too much.  Which I mean, sure.  Family, kiddo game.  I’m not asking for bigbrain plot and lore but I’m squinting at this bit because it does feel very contrary to the lore from the previous game.
- Make the aparoids more relevant.  As nice as it is to have a random bad guy from another galaxy, I feel like there was more that could be done with the aparoids in terms of their origins.  Tiny things, mind you, not huge revelations.  Off the top of my head, they could have been tied into Krystal’s backstory to help alleviate some of the complaints that she was too random to be added to the series’ main cast.  Alternatively, they could have been a product of Andross or even a weapon prototype from Corneria that fled the lab (I actually thought the game was leaning in that direction for a bit then just Nothing Happened).  I get that the vagueness of their origins leaves room for people to speculate and speculation is nice but... when you leave too many things unknown, it starts to feel less like giving fans room to interpret and more like just doing random things for the sake of it.  I think a lore tidbit here or there would work wonders for the aparoids instead of leaving them as just borg/zerg clones.
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Level-Based Changes
- Add either Aparoid RedEye or Aparoid General Scales as a boss to Sauria.  Given that this level mysteriously lacks a boss, which is just weird compared to the other levels, I think that they had the opportunity to add something cool to go along with the cinematic feel they were going for with Assault.  Assault’s cutscenes do play in a movie-like fashion and it’s clear they’re trying to make the game as epic as possible.  It’s a shame they had so much fodder for a great boss here but they failed to go through with it.  Alternatively: Add a Krazoa-Aparoid fusion.  Why?  Because Star Fox is about cool epic sci-fi and that would be cool epic sci-fi incarnate.
- Add a boss to the Aparoid Homeworld Level, aka the penultimate level.  Another one I felt was personally weird that there was no “final defense system” to challenge the team.  Would be cool to do an aerial battle over the aparoid planet with some giant flying aparoid.
- Be kinder to Sauria.  The level had some good homages but overall was incredibly small and incredibly short.  It felt like a bone tossed to Adventures fans but was not entirely true to the setting built by Rareware.  I’m... not even sure where the Sauria level is supposed to take place?  I presume it’s Walled City but it doesn’t really have the same color scheme or aesthetic?  Also where is my revised Adventures music?  Why do all the other levels get it but Sauria doesn’t? 
- Put some of those funky items from the multiplayer into the main campaign.  I don’t know why some of these things, items especially, were omitted unless it was purely due to time constraints.  I remember having missile launchers and jetpacks in the multiplayer and was a bit sad that they were not in the main campaign.  Retuning the levels and adding those in would be a nice breath of fresh air for the more tedious on-foot missions.
- More levels.  Self-explanatory.  Still sad we didn’t get the Zoness or Titania levels in the single-player mode.  
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I think all of the above changes would improve the game, though I recognize all of this is being said 16 years later after lots of time to contemplate Assault’s weaker points.  I’m not entirely certain how long Star Fox Assault took to develop but given that there’s obviously quite a bit scrapped from the game (an entire arcade mode was scrapped as well), I’m going to assume that the studio felt pressured to shove the game out the door and into the hands of customers.  It’s a shame, really, because I think a little bit longer in the oven would have done a lot of good.  Still, the product we got was good in its own right and a game that many people look back on fondly.  I haven’t gotten to replay it in years but I hope to quite soon.
You might wonder why I bothered typing this all out and I guess my point was this-- Assault was great but it wasn’t perfect, and while a lot of other games fall under a crushing amount of scrutiny, Assault seems to dodge it.  And don’t get me wrong-- I adore Assault.  But given that not many takes exist out there about rewriting it, I decided to give it a shot.  For variety’s sake.  
I do want to a mock up of a revised Assault story, which I think I will get to work on after completing this while all my ideas are still fresh in mind.  So stay tuned for that sometime in the near future.  I will also be doing my Adventures mock up at some point but probably not for a little bit as I do wanna focus some of my free time on actual fic-writing.
Anyways, if you stuck around this long, thank you for reading!  Have any changes you’d like to see to Assault if you could time machine your way back to the early 2000s?  Feel free to post in the comments, I’d love to read your ideas!
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rachelbethhines ¡ 4 years ago
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Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past
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While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show. 
All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is. 
Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.
Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing 
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Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’. 
Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.  
Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering 
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We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King. 
For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing. 
Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons. 
It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.  
Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her. 
Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.  
So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?
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Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons. 
The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them. 
But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody. 
None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning
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Show don’t tell!
At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why. 
We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat. 
Eugene is the One in the Right Here. 
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Eugene’s right. 
Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right. 
If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs. 
In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally. 
But this isn’t a competent show. 
But Lobster is for Poor Folk
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Food history time!
Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.  
Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s. 
The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.   
So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.  
This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters. 
This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted
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Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?
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Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now. 
The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months. 
I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast. 
Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time. 
We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago. 
In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie. 
Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.  
Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace 
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I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary. 
Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid. 
So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review? 
Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag! 
People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene. 
Where is Quirin, by the Way?
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Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?
This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.  
Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.  
Lets Talk About Wasted Potential 
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Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.  
But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel. 
Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point. 
You have no end of options here, 
Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities. 
Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.) 
And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong. 
And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on. 
But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?
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Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian. 
This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft. 
Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period. 
So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar! 
Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities. 
Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series! 
So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?
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I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters. 
I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later. 
I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.) 
And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins? 
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I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character. 
So How Does Time Travel Work In This?
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There are three types of time travel stories in fiction. 
First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.  
The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one. 
Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat. 
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So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here? 
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Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then? 
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You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion. 
Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong.  Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.  
What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense. 
This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past
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The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights. 
We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated? 
This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary.  If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris? 
Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?
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Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die. 
You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust. 
Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel? 
Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that. 
So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?
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I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.  
Rapunzel Is Full of Shit
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Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid. 
Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite. 
Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.
This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.
And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.  
And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together. 
Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story
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The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then. 
Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture. 
Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.  
Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke.... 
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How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!
This is a Lie
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No you wont. 
Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.  
And This is Now a Time Paradox 
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A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken? 
In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future. 
So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual. 
That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide. 
So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”
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Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?
So What Exactly Did We All Change?
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Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion. 
All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know. 
Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon. 
Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized. 
No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!
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Let me explain narrative promises. 
Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience. 
Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on. 
Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid. 
A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied. 
The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong. 
That’s not what happened here. 
Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig. 
The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego. 
I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple. 
Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show
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Speaking of breaking narrative promises.... 
TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film. 
 Way to fucking go. 
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To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself. 
I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process. 
This is the Death of New Dream 
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I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero. 
Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.  
How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?! 
What the hell happened!? 
Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants. 
Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly. 
Conclusion 
This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole. 
Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it. 
Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want. 
https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines
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ectonurites ¡ 4 years ago
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Okay, so I kinda wanna know your thoughts about how weird the fandom portrays the bat characters. Canon is ... not my favorite, but it actually offers a lot of nuance to the characters that I think makes them all interesting. Unlikable, but interesting. I noticed fanon tends to boil the batkids all into these superflat caricatures. Like, cereal obsessed manchild Dick Grayson or bad boy who's literal crimes are only because of the lazarus pit Jason Todd. Its not really a major problem, just weird
Oh I have a LOT of thoughts about this. I try so hard not to shit on how other people interact with content because like, it’s comic books! We’re all just here trying to make the best out of a mess of stuff and have fun, but admittedly a lot of fanon stuff drives me fuckin’ nuts as someone who reads a ton of comics.
Like, I like memes, obviously, I draw tons of memes with the batfam (+ yj) characters and make lighthearted jokes etc etc, and honestly if it’s just for jokes then I don’t mind people having whack interpretations of the characters quite as much. The thing that drives me up a wall though is like... when serious works and analysis and discussion are very clearly based on just the fanon interpretations without any bearing on canon aside from what you could skim from a wiki page, and it’s spoken like it’s fact! There’s ‘having fun with jokes that aren’t taking things that seriously’ and then there’s ‘blatantly mischaracterizing based on misinformation’. Way too often I see things fall into that second category.
Now, a lot of people in the batfam fandom don’t... actually read comics (or at least not frequently) and that’s not even a bad thing necessarily, like you’re 100% allowed to enjoy content however you want to! (I don’t wanna be gatekeepey, especially since comics are confusing to get into)
But the problem is that when a lot of people aren’t reading the comics, then the people who do’s opinions have a lot more influence if they’re loud enough. All it takes is one person who read something and interpreted it a specific way that might not even be correct, and then it can echo chamber and suddenly half the fandom thinks it’s 100% canon that way because ‘oh so and so said that and they actually read it’.
I also think that’s a problem with the popularity of out of context panels/blogs, while they are super funny sometimes, when people make assumptions about characters based on just a few things without context... it can lead to problems. If enough people say something enough times people just... start to think it’s true, even if it exists entirely devoid of context which changes the meaning.
Like, for example, according to canon there’s no actual confirmation Tim stalked Batman on foot for an extended period of time! We know from Lonely Place of Dying that he followed him once to get a picture to convince DIck that he still needed a Robin. Otherwise his ‘stalking’ & how he figured out Batman’s identity was more through media appearances (like newspapers and tv). This is wildly different from the common fanon idea that little Timmy was sneaking out regularly to follow Batman & Robin around with his camera.
I primarily blame Geoff Johns for this misconception because of these panels in in tt 2003 (from issue 29)
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But like, think about it for a second, literally how would Jason know that? This is one of the first times he’s ever interacting with Tim, and he was dead/catatonic when that would have been happening! He is either making a wild assumption or perhaps Talia told him this when she told him about Tim, whichever of those it was it’s secondhand information not something he witnessed. Taking his word as fact here makes no sense, he was just trying to get under Tim’s skin while fighting him. But seeing those panels out of context if you haven’t actually read Lonely Place of Dying/only read a vague summary of it, and don’t necessarily know the details of the Jason situation, it could absolutely lead you to believe otherwise!
Dick as a cereal manchild is a weird one because like... okay yeah sure he likes cereal, I can think of like two panels I’m too lazy to find right now off the top of my head of him having it, but... that’s not something we see all the time! Its not like Ollie & his chili (which IS a running joke- seriously I have not read that many Green Arrow comics but the amount of times I’ve seen that man bring up chili in just in the few things I have read is wild. there’s even an official recipe. his chili has it’s own dc wiki page). Then, because Dick isn’t quite as emotionally closed off in the same way the rest of the batfam tends to be, people project literally all the pent up feelings onto him, making him this hug-crazy crybaby manchild... again it’s just very clear people who perpetuate those ideas (outside of like, maybe as jokes) haven’t actually fully read that many comics with him. I’d also even blame the Young Justice cartoon version of Dick for some other traits fanon Dick has, bc that version of him is def a bit of a Hot Mess™️ once he’s Nightwing 
Jason I understand misconceptions about probably the most because of how wildly inconsistent his writing was before the new 52 and how consistently Not Great it was once Lobdell took over. Jason’s one of the few characters I have read like, 90% of appearances for so I’m speakin’ from experience here. But still... acting like Jason as Red Hood is just a ‘bad boy rebel’ that could have a relatively happy connection with the whole Batfam is fun but unrealistic. You can not blame everything on the lazarus pit... he still has killed people! Lots of people! Willingly! Yes he has reasons and when he’s being written well it’s clear that he’s not just ‘random murder happy’ but rather ‘I kill when I feel they deserve it and that it’s necessary’ which is what keeps him an anti-hero rather than a full fledged villain most of the time, but that still keeps him so at odds with the rest of the Batfamily! Writers in more current continuity have had him compromise by only using rubber bullets in Gotham so they can have him interact with the family, but he’s still killed and will do it when he deems it necessary.
Also like... at the time of Under The Red Hood in the comics... theoretically... he hadn’t even been in the lazarus pit for well over a year. Go read Lost Days (it’s short! And except for the thing with him & Talia towards the end of the last issue it’s pretty good!), he spends a lot of time traveling the world and learning things/training before the events of UtRH. Yes you could interpret there still being some Lazarus influence going on there but I think the movie version of UtRH especially leads people to believe there’s a lot less time between his dunk in the pit and his first actions as Red Hood.
Fanon also has a lot of ideas about pit madness that vary wildly from what we have seen in canon, like yeah it’s been said to be a thing to some extent, but there’s not really the Danny Phantom Glowing Green Eyes™️ or anything like that... it’s fun to explore cool new ideas for sure but I just think it’s important to recognize the distinction between things that are actually canon and things that are popular fanon. (Also there are things that fall somewhere in between, there’s definitely stuff that isn’t 100% confirmed canon but could still be plausible/has been hinted at by some writers/is only canon in some settings)
Other things that drive me nuts are ‘quiet does-no-wrong angel Cass’ and ‘the Normal One™️ Duke’ because those just make literally no sense if you’ve read any comics with either of them... but fan content either does those versions or just completely ignores their existence a lot of the time! So! That’s a whole bigger problem!
In general though, this is fandom it’s not like this... matters that much on the grand scheme of things in life, we’re just people on social media talkin’ about comics. And this kind of misconception/flattening of characters does happen in literally every fandom ever. But it still does suck to see characters that have a lot of nuance and interesting history to play around with get reduced to a few traits that aren’t even actually that relevant to who they are.
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antoine-roquentin ¡ 4 years ago
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These pixels of joy may not seem like much to the average person: According to a 2015 Pew Research survey, a quarter of all adults regard most video games as a waste of time. But for Guyton, gaming is a hobby like any other — an activity that values a momentary feeling of immersion above other forms of success. And despite living on the margins, Guyton remains eager to spend what little coin he has, sometimes waiting in long lines for a piece of the latest digital adventure. There’s no shame, he says, in “wasting time” seeking fun in gigabytes of alternative realities. For him, gaming is as priceless as peace.
It’s no accident that a greater percentage of lower income people consider themselves “gamers” (the same Pew survey found that across income groups, although those making less than $30,000 a year were the least likely to report they played games, with only 46 percent saying so, low-income respondents were still the most likely to actually describe themselves as “gamers”). Chris Arnade, a photographer and author of the recent book Dignity: Seeking Respect in Back Row America, explains that gaming is “one of the few virtual communities open to a lot of lower-income people.” Arnade, who’s spent “a lot of time basically sleeping in cheap motels when I was on the road or in my van,” tells me that while looking for a good WiFi connection, he often came across people from families with Section 8 housing vouchers in search of prime gaming real estate “with their old, beat-up PC.”
Through his lens, Arnade has been clued into a more intimate, nuanced view of the low-income gaming community than most. As such, much of the discourse around gaming pisses him off. “This whole language of, ‘Young men should be doing something better with their time,’” he says. “Like what?”
But even within the gaming community, Arnade has noticed a discrepancy between how people judge rich gamers versus poor ones. “You have rich kids who game, but that’s not what I usually see people making fun of,” says Arnade, who believes that this sort of antagonism comes from the “idea that poor people shouldn’t be allowed to have fun.” “We celebrate consumption because our society is built on consumption,” he argues. “Yet when poor people consume, it seems ugly and crass.”
Pathetic and depressing sight. pic.twitter.com/GoeVrvV5kx
— Sohrab Ahmari (@SohrabAhmari) November 27, 2020
He uses the example of the way people look with disgust toward those who line up to get deals at GameStop on Black Friday because they don’t have a lot of money. “With something like the PS5, when there’s a new game launch or a new console launch, wealthy families like me, we pre-order well ahead of time and put a deposit down and put it on credit and that’s not really hard,” he says. “A lot of people can’t do that. I mean, they don’t even know they can do that. They don’t have the money to do that. They don’t have the cultural capital to know that you should do that.”...
According to K’ryzt (the online moniker of another gamer currently living in low-income housing), because gaming helps people create relationships with people outside of their own cultural bubble, “having affordable prices for consoles and gaming PCs is so important.” “Nowadays, voice chat is almost required in some respects for competitive games, from FPS [first person shooter] to raiding in MMOs [massively multiplayer online games],” he tells me. “When consoles are too expensive, they have a pretty steep barrier to entry for people who can’t afford them — and when the peripherals became more and more of a necessity to play games successfully, it’s important to make sure they’re priced in a way that it isn’t just gouging.”
Growing up, K’ryzt’s family was, he says, “fairly poor,” so he never had the next generation gaming system “until it was in its second-gen iteration.” “I got a PlayStation relatively shortly before the PS2 came out,” he says. His Gameboy Color was a hand-me-down from his then-church. “I worked summer jobs for my first PC, which wasn’t even a gaming PC — just some old stock Walmart Gateway [computer],” K’ryzt adds.
Echoing Arnade’s earlier point, K’ryzt tells me that what he’s found in gaming that he believes exists in few other places, is a level playing field. “Even in the case of pay-to-win loot boxes, you mostly have situations where skill trumps all,” he says. “So when you’re behind a computer screen and you’re playing a game with people from all over the world, they don’t know your economic or social status, what race or gender or orientation you are, or if you have a disability.”
In that way, K’ryzt says, gaming gives low-income people an opportunity to be on equal footing with their peers in a way that often isn’t true in real life. “When I log in to play Final Fantasy XIV, I’m a Male Miqo’te White Mage,” he says. “All that matters to the people around me is, ‘Does he heal well?’ And unless I reveal how I’m somehow different to them, I’m just another Warrior of Light.”
It helps, too, that apart from a few hundred dollars in start-up costs — which is steep, but can, according to Guyton, be “built up over time” — the thing about gaming is that unlike most real-world communities, be they professional or social, there isn’t an impenetrable barrier to entry. “Once you’re in, you’re in,” says Arnade. And though the language of gamers has long been the subject of controversy, in Guyton’s circle, it’s just “kind of bull-crapping around” and “just being weird to each other.” For him, that means sometimes doing “funny dances in the game and just acting out of context.”
“People seek status in different ways,” says Arnade. “[Low-income gamers] are never going to obtain status signifiers that rich people want, like a house,” he says. “That’s just too distant.” Instead, Arnade tells me, you seek the status you can obtain. And getting a new PS5 or, in Guyton’s case, a copy of Cyberpunk 2077 — which Guyton’s heard is “going to be really good” — is a piece of status that feels realistically within reach.
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saiilorstars ¡ 4 years ago
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The Serpent
Fandom: MCU // Pairing: T’Challa x woc!OFC
Chapter Summary: **One shot. Agent Citlalli Del Rio struggles to keep her professionalism in check whenever she visits Wakanda and its King. If she paid attention, she would notice that T'Challa has the same issues with her. Only he will know how to eventually get through to the woman who was once known as the warrior Serpent to her own people.
A/N: This is just a one-shot of an OC I'm currently drafting. I always like sampling a new OC with a few one-shots before I post an actual story and since I already did an OC/Steve and OC/Bucky one-shot series for each, we're going for the last OC I had in mind for now! A little context, she's a descendant from the Aztecs and, thus, from Mexico! The pronunciation of the OC's name is 'Seet-la-lee'!
Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog​ @maaaaarveeeeel​ @stareyedplanet​ @perfectlystiles​
Citlalli’s Masterlist // Masterlist to my other OCs
[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]
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"You certainly look as sharp as ever," Okoye remarked in her rigid stance when T'Challa walked up beside her. She didn't even look at him completely, she had enough sight from the corner of her eyes.
"As King of Wakanda, I have an obligation to look my best," was the very King's response. Had they not been surrounded by the Dora Milaje, awaiting for a scheduled visitor, perhaps Okoye would've snorted at the weak excuse. She may also be holding that snort out of sheer pity. She knew well enough why he was taking extra care in his appearance today.
As agreed upon, their visitor arrived a short moment later. Okoye could see T'Challa straightening himself up when the jet landed a safe distance from them. It was frankly bemusing.
The jet opened up and in a few seconds, a tall woman dressed in a traditional black pant suit with a white buttoned up blouse stepped down. Her caramel brown eyes met the awaiting group across from her. She walked towards them in a purposeful stride. It wasn't the first time she was lucky enough to visit the King in Wakanda itself.
"Your majesty," she said. Even the slight Spanish accent in her tone wasn't enough to hide the overwhelming sarcasm.
If Okoye hadn't already met her plenty of times before, she would've been outright offended with the sarcasm.
"Don't you dare bow," T'Challa warned the woman as soon as he caught one of her legs already bending.
The woman chuckled and straightened up that leg. "Caught me," she put a hand over her chest. "One of these days, you won't."
"I will keep my eyes sharp and open when you are around," T'Challa promised her. Beside him, he could see the tight-lipped smile Okoye was battling on her face. He had half a mind to send her away but that would out him in a second. Instead, he put all of his attention on the woman standing in front of him.
She was waiting for him with a polite smile on her face. Her curly brown hair was neatly laid on the left side of her neck but the light breeze in the air would occasionally pull loose strands.
"Agent Del Rio, welcome to Wakanda," he said, making her smile widen.
"It is beautiful as always and, just as always, my name is Citlalli. I beg you to use it," she glanced at Okoye with a polite smile. "Nice to see you as well."
Okoye gave a dutiful nod. "Likewise."
Citlalli put her hands together in front of her. "I am ready to start whenever you are," she said to T'Challa. "But I need to return to Virginia by the end of the day."
"Of course," T'challa gave her a nod. She was always on a schedule given her work in the C.I.A. but he always managed to stretch out her visits a bit more than what she always scheduled for them.
Citlalli motioned him to lead the way back to the palace. She assumed their meeting room was already waiting for them.
"Actually, I thought we could do something different," T'Challa said, much to her surprise. "It's just you and I this time so I thought we would have more time, you know?"
"Ah," Citlalli slowly nodded, "O-okay. Where would you like to have the meeting?" T'Challa set his eyes on the city beside them. Citlalli didn't quite understand until she followed his gaze. "Oh." She blinked.
T'Challa smirked. "Shall we?" he motioned her to walk first. Slowly, she did. T'Challa followed behind her but he met Okoye's smirk on his turn.
"Hardly a place for a meeting," she mumbled as they began to walk.
"Shh," he promptly told her.
~ 0 ~
"This is hardly a place for a meeting," Citlalli would unknowingly repeat Okoye's words later on in the day. She and T'Challa walked side by side down the bustling city. "I am not wearing the right clothes, either." She fanned herself with her hand every now and then. It was a warm day today.
"Nothing wrong with a change of air," T'Challa shrugged his shoulders. He enjoyed watching her curious eyes gaze over the many stalls lining their sides. Despite being one of the people allowed in Wakanda-the only agent allowed for that matter-she'd never gone out of the palace during her visits.
"Of course not," Citlalli agreed, "But, as I said, I am here to talk business." She glanced over her shoulder and saw the Dora Milaje walking a good distance from them. Privacy reasons and whatnot. "And besides, we could save the Dora the walk, couldn't we?"
"They are fine. Trust me, Citlalli," T'Challa insisted. "What are we supposed to be talking about?"
Citlalli sent him a flattened-expressed glance. "Did you not read the file I sent you prior to this meeting?"
"Of course I did, I just wanted to make sure you read them. Have you?"
Citlalli couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. For a King, he was rather funny sometimes. She tucked a curl behind her ear and sighed. "Alright," she conceded with him. They could discuss their potential plans outside. It was actually rather beautiful outside anyways. "It's regarding the center you recently opened in Oakland. Stark is interested in aiding with the funding."
"I am very thankful for it but Wakanda is more than capable of taking care of the finances of the program," T'Challa said, purposely stopping in front of a stall.
Citlalli was forced to do the same without noticing what the stall was offering. She was focused on the conversation. "Of course, nobody doubts that. I certainly don't but the idea is-"
"Would you like some?" He offered her a small piece of bread.
"What?" She blinked at it, having been thrown in the middle of her conversation. "Are you listening to me?"
"Of course, what kind of person do you think I am?" He offered the bread again.
Citlalli sighed. "I didn't exactly bring money to go shopping."
T'Challa smiled at her. "My treat."
Citlalli raised an eyebrow at him. "Does that mean you will pay?"
Before T'Challa could explain to her how it usually went, the seller herself told her that it was really her treat. How could the King pay and much less a friend of the King?
With that, Citlalli had no choice but to accept the bread, or whatever it was. She took it from T'Challa and dropped it into her mouth. As soon as she started chewing, sweet flavors of honey and nuts flooded her mouth. "Oh, that is good," she covered her mouth as she went through the several stages of divine tasting.
T'Challa chuckled at her. "I thought you would like it. I remember you mentioning your like for honey."
"Mhm," she nodded. "You remembered that?" It'd been an off-handed remark in a conversation she could barely remember.
"Of course," he said in a matter-of-fact way that made her pause for a moment. She studied him.
"What is it?" T'Challa asked her when the studying lasted minutes.
"I am just trying to figure you out,"Citlalli shrugged. She began to move again, prompting him to do the same. "I never considered you to be the type of King who walks through his own city."
"Is that bad in your eyes?"
"No," Citlalli smiled at him. "It's humble."
"I am glad you think so. Can I show you something else? I think you might like it." T'Challa picked up his pace to reach another stall.
Citlalli had to sprint a bit to catch up. They ultimately stopped by a stall full of flashy jewelry. She was delighted at the sight-he knew that she loved accessories. Her favorite, though, were the...
"I thought you might like this one," T'Challa took one golden snake-head bracelet. She was always drawn to the serpents because of her background.
Citlalli's smile faltered at the sight of it. "Um..." she swallowed hard. "That's very beautiful but...I don't wear that stuff anymore, you know that."
T'Challa nodded. "Because you haven't found your people yet, but I have no doubt that you will."
Citlalli never knew whether or not she regretted telling him the story of her lost village. She trusted him to keep the secret to himself but she wasn't sure if she was alright with the fact that someone else knew about her personal mission, a personal mission that she was failing miserably at. "You are kind with your faith but my personal agendas should not be any of your concern," she offered him a polite smile. "You are King. You have enough on your to-do list."
"I will always make time for a friend." T'Challa suspected that if Okoye could hear the conversation, she would've scoffed for sure. He was guilty of wanting to offer Citlalli a lot more than friendship.
Citlalli lowered his hand with the bracelet to the stall. "Please," she whispered, eyes falling low with distinctive pain. "Can we go back to the meeting?"
T'Challa was alarmed with the hurt in her eyes. That was never what he intended and the fact that Citlalli even showed that type of feeling meant she was truly hurt about something. No doubt it pertained to that personal agenda she had. Ever since he met Citlalli, which had been under the worst circumstances due to his own pain with the death of his father, she always gave the aura of strength. She hadn't been nicknamed the Serpent in her village for nothing. She was strong, brave and best of all, a mediator. She liked solving problems and providing the justice that most people didn't get. But it appeared that her solitude was slowly getting the best of her.
Anyone would if they were separated from their people for as long as she'd been.
"Citlalli—" He tried to mend is mistake but she simply asked him if they could talk about the meeting again. He didn't want to make her feel any worse so he had to agree.
The rest of the day was, lamentably, all about the kinks of the outreach program and a few other potential programs they could start. At the end of the day, they returned to where they started. The jet was already waiting for Citlalli.
"Before I go," she said, "This was from Stark." She produced an envelope from her pocket.
"Do we have any idea what it is?" T'Challa raised the envelope to the sky to see a few words through the paper.
"I might," Citlalli rocked back and forth on her feet. T'Challa gave her an odd look until she answered, "I may have gotten one myself."
"Gotten what?"
"It's an invitation. Stark is throwing a birthday party for Miss Potts. Very nice place, very sunny place, so if you go, you should take that in mind for clothing preferences."
"Will you be attending?" T'Challa curiously asked her. He had no idea where that act of bravery came from but he thanked Bast that it came.
Citlalli sheepishly shrugged. "My relationship with Tony Stark is terse at times but I do appreciate what he is trying to do for people after, uh, what transpired with the Accords. Plus, Pepper is a good friend."
T'Challa had all the information he needed. "I will see you there."
Citlalli half smiled at him. He always spoke so easily, she envied it. For all her experiences with people, royalty, he always made her feel like she wasn't doing enough. He simply made her forget things she knew how to do, like talking. Why he kept such an open friendship with her, she had no idea. Surely there were other agents he could speak with.
You're the only agent allowed in Wakanda. What's that about? She ignored the warmth in her chest each time she remembered that detail. He'd chosen her to do Wakanda's business with whenever it came to speaking with the C.I.A. Why? It was an answer she never got an answer to and truth be told, she was a little afraid of what the answer was anyways.
"It was lovely visiting, as always," she spoke up after realizing she spent a lot of time thinking silently. "Your city..." she glanced at the city's landscape on their side, "It really is magnificent."
"Hopefully next time I will be able to show you much more of it," T'Challa said, really having faith that the next time she visited, he would get it right and be able to show her everything.
Citlalli nodded. She held a hand out to shake with him. T'Challa took her hand and shook it but just as Citlalli would pull her hand from his, he gripped it. She raised an eyebrow at him, curious. Had they forgotten to talk about something?
T'Challa would then raise her hand in his hand to press his lips over it for a kiss. Citlalli felt a deep warmth over her face. T'Challa looked at her from under his lashes, smiling at her in a way that spread the warmth down to her stomach. Butterflies would even arise.
"I hope to see you at that celebration," T'Challa lowered her hand between them but without letting it go.
Citlalli had to catch her breath before even thinking about speaking. "See you..." She swallowed hard, immediately feeling the cold when T'Challa let her hand go.
Very unprofessional! The voice in her head scolded. She turned to leave as soon as her feet responded. She couldn't trust herself if she stayed another minute.
T'Challa was left to watch the jet disappear in the sky. In a matter of seconds, Okoye had stepped up beside him. "Well, will you really be attending that celebration?" she curiously asked, eyes wondering over the invitation T'Challa held tightly in his hand.
"If it is my only chance, why not?" He countered, smiling to himself. He wasn't all that into the idea of being surrounded by unknown people but if Citlalli was there then it wouldn't be that bad.
~ 0 ~
Stark's choice of scene for the party was, as usual, a grand site. Even Okoye would admit to it, but everything else was irritating.
"This dress is far too uncomfortable," she grumbled to T'Challa as they walked in through the entrance. He wanted no Dora Milaje around today and the only way that would happen is if Okoye accompanied him.
"You could go back..." He said far too innocently for anybody to believe him.
She threw him a sharp look. "What for? Agent Del Rio has no quarrel having me around. Do you?" T'Challa purposely kept his gaze ahead of them. Okoye's smirk wasn't something he wanted to face.
They eventually came to the backyard, a large place for the party. There were far too many people around, none that really concerned T'Challa. He saw a few familiar faces amongst the crowd eventually, like Rhodey and Pepper. As politeness went, T'Challa moved towards the latter to wish her a happy birthday.
"Thank you for coming," Pepper smiled wide, especially when Okoye handed her their gift. "You really shouldn't have."
"I hope you like it," T'Challa sincerely said. His eyes swept over Pepper to see if he could finally spot Citlalli. Maybe she wasn't here yet.
"Tony!" Pepper called, motioning him to come over from wherever he was.
"The King!" They soon heard Tony's exclaim.
Okoye rolled her eyes as the man headed their way. To T'Challa's surprise, however, he was not alone. Citlalli was walking beside him, looking like she'd just entertained something no doubt Stark "funny".
"Nice of you to make it," Tony greeted the pair of visitors. "A change of sights doesn't hit bad, does it?"
"No," agreed T'Challa. He met Citlalli's gaze, brain racking to say something good to her as a greeting. The way she looked, though, would prevent much of that from happening.
Her curly hair had been tamed to one side again, braided to the tip. She wore a spaghetti-strapped white maxi dress with a bright turquoise flower pattern. There was a beaded necklace of browns and turquoise sitting around her neck with a large shiny brown stone in the center. With little makeup, she boasted her natural beauty, whether she realized it or not.
"Your majesty," she beat him to the greeting, just like she typically did.
T'Challa wondered when he would be able to say the first word to her. Probably when you stop staring at her. Perhaps then...or perhaps not. He tended to lose air when he was around. "Citlalli," he managed to say her first name this time around. Baby steps.
"Okoye," Citlalli flashed a smile at the woman. "I love the dress today. Red is your color."
"Thank you," Okoye pressed a hand down her side. "But I can't keep wearing this all day. How do you do it?"
Citlalli and Pepper laughed together. The former then admitted that she wasn't all that used to wearing dresses anymore. "When you're a C.I.A. agent, you don't really get a down time for leisure. But Miss Potts over knows her way around pencil skirts." Okoye's face might as well have said there'd been a murder.
"We are not going to stand here and discuss skirts, are we?" Tony pretended to be oh-so-tired already. "There's music, there's dancing, food, amazing drinks. Please enjoy."
"Please do," Pepper said in a much kinder manner. "And thank you for coming." She headed off with Tony.
"I must admit I thought you would not come," Citlalli said to the pair when the others had gone.
"Why?" T'Challa curiously asked her.
"I don't know..." she shrugged, suddenly looking shy which was one thing Citlalli Del Rio was not. "I didn't think you and Stark were that close, that's all."
"We are not, but it is a good idea to be on a amicable terms for both sides."
Citlalli nodded with an understanding that only they would understand. After the Accords, everyone knew that the ties between Stark and most of the Avengers had been thoroughly severed. "I am glad that you can do that," she said. "And I am also happy that you came."
Now that brought a good smile from T'Challa. "Really?"
Citlalli's eyes flickered to the side, hoping to calm that warmth in her face again. "Yes, I...I need to speak with you, actually."
Surprising given the location they were in, but T'Challa would take it. He glanced at Okoye, not needing to say it out loud. She could barely hold the struggle to not roll her eyes.
"I will be over there..." she excused herself and walked away.
"You look beautiful today, agent," T'Challa said as soon as they were alone for fear that he would lose his courage. It was all worth it when she smiled bashfully. Did he make her shy?
"Thank you," Citlalli found her voice a few seconds later. She couldn't help look him over—ignoring how utterly unprofessional it was—and concluded that he was as handsome as ever in his casual dark suit. If he moved, she would get a flicker of purple. "You look good," she returned when she was sure that she would be able to say it in one go.
"Would you like to dance?" T'Challa made a gesture to the ongoing dancing behind them. It wasn't quite his style but he could only dream of being that close to Citlalli and today he might just get the chance.
Citlalli's eyes flickered past him towards the dancing. "I was just dancing with Stark..." she started, already sounding weary as she began to remember it.
T'Challa chuckled at her expression. "I will not be like Stark."
"I doubt you could be," Citlalli said. "But I wanted to talk to you."
"Does it pertain to business?"
"No, not really."
"Then can we dance first? After that, I promise I am all ears."
Citlalli bit on her bottom lip as she considered the implications of a dance with him. It wasn't a slow dance but it did require for arms to be around each other's. Could she handle that? Whether or not she could, did she want to? Absolutely, she answered herself on the spot.
She finally gave him a nod. "Okay."
T'Challa reached for her hand, raising it first and foremost to kiss the back of it. She awarded him a soft smile in return. "Beautiful bracelet," he remarked as he led her towards the dance by the hand. Citlalli could feel his thumb grazing over the feathered jade-colored bracelet he mentioned as well as her skin. A ploy she wasn't really against.
"Thank you," she said once they stopped together. He turned to face her, picking up her hand against to hold on their side. "Hand made," she would say as she moved her free hand over his shoulder. She swallowed hard when his free hand slid behind her back. He had the gentlest touch.
"You don't say?" T'Challa sarcastically asked, making her chuckle.
"My aunt made it for me a while ago. She tried to get the most precious stones to make it," Citlalli explained as they started swaying to the music. "She tried to make it like home," she added in a quieter tone. Her gaze fell for a moment. Home was a raw subject even years after everything had occurred.
"That was very kind of her," T'Challa's voice would pull her out of her moment. He didn't know how he did it but he was glad he did. Citlalli met his eyes. "I have heard terrible stories of adoptive parents and their respective families. You have no idea the relief it brings me to know that it was not your case."
Citlalli half-smiled at him. "You shouldn't feel anything," she told him. "You've only known me for a year. Everything that happened to me was a long time ago."
"If it pertains to your well being, I will," he clarified.
"You simply care too much but I suppose that's what will inevitably make you a good king," she shrugged. "And a good friend."
Friend. It stung even though she used it so kindly on him.
T'Challa surprised her with a twirl. It had her laughing when she came back to him, leaning on him. He was smug when he grinned. "I can be many things, Citlalli."
She had to agree there. She peeled herself off him and continued to sway kindly to the music. "A good dancer, amongst those. Did Shuri teach you some of those moves?"
"The fact that you think I could only be a good dancer is if my baby sister taught me is quite offensive," T'Challa bobbed head as if he was doing his own little dance to the song. Citlalli giggled. She hardly did that too so when she did, T'Challa relished it. He may replay it in his head a couple times too.
"I would never offend you, your majesty," she drummed her fingers over his shoulder. "...but did she?"
T'Challa's face fell flat. When Citlalli started laughing again, he surprised her with another twirl. This time when she came back to him, he made it so that they were closer than before. Their foreheads would nearly press with their inch gap. She smelled sweet and floral, intoxicating and addicting. How dare she walk around like that and expect him not to fall for her? Because that's exactly what happened to him. He craved her presence whenever she wasn't around, and it was unfortunately like that most of the time. Her visits to Wakanda were sporadic just as his were to America.
Citlalli was very aware of their closeness and as much as she told herself to step away, her feet were only responding to the rhythm of their dance. If she were to move just an inch, maybe half an inch, something would happen that should not...but it was something that she really wouldn't mind either. "Uuh...can we talk now?" she thought to ask. Her question, though asked in a whisper, was still enough to break their moment.
T'Challa stepped back from her and nodded at her. She took his hand, an act that made things a little better for T'Challa, and led him away from the dance. She found a nice place on one of the garden sitting walls.
"What is troubling you, Citlalli?" T'Challa asked as soon as they were comfortable.
"I was thinking about the last time we saw each other and...T'Challa, I am so sorry for the way I behaved what that jewelry stall."
"What—"
"You were being kind and no matter what, I should have appreciated it. I know I have a hard attitude and sometimes I don't realize it then but I'm really sorry."
"Citlalli," T'Challa touched her cheek, an act that left her frozen while he spoke, "There was no problem there. My plan simply didn't result, but it wasn't your fault."
"Plan?" Her face scrunched. "What plan?"
"My plan to show you the city, of course, and see your smiles."
Citlalli's eyes flickered to the side in thought. "I...do not understand. I thought I was apologizing, it's been gnawing at my head since it happened."
"Please let it go, I hold no resentment. As if I could ever do that with you," T'Challa flashed her a smirk. "You do not see it, do you?"
"See what?" Citlalli watched him carefully. Her nerves were rising and she wasn't even sure why. Nothing was happening.
T'Challa's smirk faltered and soon it turned into a sad smile. "Nothing. This conversation did steer us towards something I wasn't sure how to best introduce."
"What do you mean?" T'Challa motioned her to give him a second. He shifted to better face her then reached for something in his inside pocket. Citlalli watched him pull out a small box. She was startled when he held it out for her. "For me?" she pointed at herself with wide eyes.
"Yes, I chose it with great care. Open it."
Citlalli was hesitant at first but who could say no to him? She couldn't. She took the box from him and pulled it open. Her eyes widened even more when she saw a coil, double wrapped, snake bracelet tucked inside. It was golden with the stones of the snake head in her traditional color of turquoise. "This is beyond beautiful!" she gawked. "Where did you get this from?" It was hard finding those two colors together, she would know.
"I had this made for you," T'Challa explained, earning her fully stunned face. "I know that you always have a hard time finding things that are close to your home. Wakanda may be a place far away from where the Aztecs lived but I hope that this makes home feel a little closer."
Citlalli didn't know what she felt except for the stinging of tears in her eyes. "Oh...this is...T'Challa, you really didn't have to do this. I-I can't take this." She closed the box quickly and tried handing it back to him but he wouldn't take it.
"It's yours, Citlalli. The Serpent," he reminded her of her old name.
"I used to be," she corrected him.
"No, not 'used' to be. You were a warrior for your people and you're still a warrior today. You're just a little lost."
"A 'little'," Citlalli said bitterly, more to herself than anyone else.
"There is nothing wrong with being lost so long as you try to get back on the right path." T'Challa reached a hand over to her cheek and cleared off her tears. "I would like to help in any way that I can."
Citlalli sniffed. "Why?"
T'Challa tilted his head at her. "Because I want you to be happy. It could be selfish of me but...I would like to be the reason you're happy. Whatever it is, I'd like to be it." Citlalli softly smiled at him. That smile counted for millions. "May I?" He motioned to the box. She nodded and opened the box for him. He pulled out the bracelet and took her wrist, gingerly sliding the bracelet down her skin. His hand caressed her skin as he secured the bracelet around her wrist. Citlalli felt the shudders from his touch and wished time would slow so that his fingers could stay over her like that.
"Thank you," she said meaningfully. She could thank him for everything and it would still feel like it wasn't enough.
T'Challa was on the same page as her. "Thank you." He would never have the right words to express his gratitude for everything she'd done for him since the moment they met.
Citlalli shyly met his gaze, lips quirking into a small smile. Words weren't enough, but actions were. T'Challa's fingers came to her chin, gently pulling her forwards a bit. He leaned the rest of the way and pressed his lips against hers. Citlalli's eyes fell shut with the contact. Time did stop for them in the end. Her lips easily moved with his, discovering how truly soft he was. Everything about him was, even when those same lips were used to make sarcastic little comments every now and then. Little did she know that he thought the same thing of her. She was always professional, never saying the wrong thing. Sometimes, he wished he could get her to do loosen up and that was coming from him. Either way, however she was, he wanted her to stay just like that.
T'Challa pulled away first. He lowered his hand from her chin to her hand. He found her fingers to interlace with his and to his delight, she gripped his hand in return.
"You know, in my village, our stones were so beautiful and valued that we would use them in our conversations to refer to anything that we found precious." Citlalli's lips stretched into a wide smile. "To me, you're as precious as any one of those stones, even more." She touched his cheek, her fingers stroking a few gentle circles over his skin. "It's just hard to admit it with my hard attitude and all..."
T'Challa chuckled lightly. "You keep that hard attitude. I don't want to change anything about you." Citlalli chewed on her bottom lip while her insides desperately fought off the intense heat when T'Challa wrapped an arm around her waist. "My Serpent," he whispered fondly.
Citlalli brought her hands to her shoulders. "We're at a party—" Her laugh was muffled by another of his kisses. "Hardly the way a King would act, no?"
"I think I'm doing exactly what I should be doing," T'Challa said proudly. Citlalli playfully rolled her eyes at him. "Would you like to dance again?"
"I...guess..." The party did seem a more cheerful suddenly. Citlalli ended up nodding.
T'Challa let her go to stand up then offered her his hand. This time there was no hesitation when she reached out to take it. He pulled her up to her feet then kissed her hand.
She smirked. He saw her knees bending but this time, he couldn't stop her. She bowed. "Your majesty!"
"You did not—Citlalli!" He exclaimed. "Stop that!"
She giggled as she straightened herself up. "I told you that you wouldn't be able to catch me one day."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow at her. She nodded proudly. "Oh..." He pretended to accept his defeat only to snatch her body and pull her up to him. She yelped with the sudden yank. "Look at that, I just caught you," he said innocently.
Citlalli took in a deep breath and rested her hands on his shoulders again. "Game on, your majesty."
"Game on..." T'Challa laughed. He cupped her face and planted another kiss on her, a longer one that would leave them both in need of air.
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