#which as we're sure you can understand is unfortunately not very efficient for artistic endeavors | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mantisgodsdomain · 1 month ago

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You may say to yourself things such as "wow, mantis god, you seem really behind for bugtober this year", and you would be right, but what you can't see behind the scenes is that we are actually being surprisingly productive in the hours of the day that are not dedicated to school, it's just that some months ago we happen to have thought to ourself "well, we enjoy learning things, so maybe we should take a hack at school since the grant is decent, get some actual certification on our resume so we can get a real job" and then forgot that the reason we don't already have official certification is because formal schooling historically has had worse effects on our overall mental health than almost literally anything else in our life, and now that's eating 4-6 hours of our life per day with an extra few hours of recovery after which makes it unfortunately difficult to work on art.

#we speak #negative chatter #we are saying “almost literally” because of common or garden memory loss btw. it is possible something was worse #but if so it no longer exists in our memory and that actively gets worse under stress so it'll be a few months before we can remember #the stuff leading up to it this time definitely didn't help but god nothing to get us Getting Worse like formal schooling #our whumptober pre-writing and planning weighs in at more than 45k words right now #and we are unfortunately aware that the reason we are struggling to finish in a timely manner #is because something like sixty percent of our mental real estate has been forcibly dedicated to keeping us alive #which as we're sure you can understand is unfortunately not very efficient for artistic endeavors #anyways something something long road of reminders of why we have been Unemployed for so long

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