#which also helps make him an interesting foil to Trevor

[paganminiskirt]

The funniest thing about the early chapters of GTA 5 is that Lamar actually does have significant interpersonal intelligence of the sort that would make him a good businessman, especially in a semi-illicit market like weed, he just also happens to have the situational intelligence of a dead squirrel

[annabelle--cane]

there's a lot going on in the mag 58 supplemental, this one little scene does a lot of heavy lifting to set up martin and tim's arcs for the rest of the show, but I want to focus on these lines particularly because of how therapy comes back as a symbol in s4/s5.

broadly, in the context of the meta plot and not the individual statements, seeking therapy in tma is representative of trying to improve oneself and get out of a bad situation. later, when taking melanie to therapy, georgie suggests that jon should get some as well but, when asked, says she wouldn't be willing to escort him like she does with melanie, showing how she does wish the best for jon in theory but doesn't think he actually wants to get better, or at least that she's not sure enough to involve herself with him.

that view of jon doesn't come from nowhere, because here we have an instance of him rejecting that same offer, symbolically rejecting help in favor of digging himself deeper on his own (obligatory disclaimer that irl therapy is a very personal thing and says nothing about one's overall character, this is just an examination of a motif in fiction). the word choice of "he just says no" imo implies that martin has suggested this multiple times and jon keeps giving the same answer, continually reaffirming that he does not want outside assistance to pull him out of this spiral.

the fact that martin's the one advocating to go soft on jon despite repeated refusals for more sympathetic help is interesting to me, because I would guess that this conversation was instigated by jon aggressively confronting martin about trevor herbert two episodes earlier. we know he was stalking all three of his assistants, but that is the biggest and most threatening outburst we get from jon in this period, and in this conversation it is still martin being defensive and apologetic vs tim being frustrated and pissed off.

I've said recently that I'm pretty sure martin believed jon was self harming and/or suicidal at this point, so I can see why he would be particularly willing to give jon slack and try to prevent any big conflicts, but that still contributes to his current narrative role of "guy who is treated the worst but ignores it because he's also the guy who cares the most." in that way, he's a foil for georgie; she cares, sure, but not enough to ignore (perceived) risks. martin pushes for jon to get therapy even as he lashes out and rejects help, and georgie won't involve herself when jon asks if she'd be willing to help him see a therapist.

this motif comes back around for a final complication in s5, when laverne, melanie's therapist, winds up as part of her cult. melanie's effort to get better and get out did have lasting effects, she is separated from the watcher/watched system and is coping a whole lot better than she would have before, but those personal efforts still weren't enough to fully get her out of the whole mess. no amount of individual action could remove her from this structural problem, her therapist helped her a lot but also now thinks she's a prophet.

which also comes back to the above scene. tim and martin both write off elias as useless in this situation, so they start sniping at each other and talking about how to stop jon from doing what he's doing without even really lingering on how the guy who is actually in charge and has power over them all is making it worse by neglecting his managerial duties. I'm sure jon could have done with some therapy at this point, but that would have only dealt with, like, 10% of the archive gang's current problems.

[comicaurora]

I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?

I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.

It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.

Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.

I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.

I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.

I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.

[sylvanedadeer]

If I remember correctly, you have mentioned that you are a big fan of literary tropes. Can you tell us what are some of your favorite tropes, least favorite tropes and what tropes you'd like to see more?

This one might be fairly long:

Anyone who knows me fairly well knows I'm literate largely because of comics. It's what my dad had around, so naturally, I'm a bit superhero/fantasy/fiction brained, but my dad is also a latin teacher, so I've been reading Homer, Livy, Herodotus, and Plato for probably longer than I should be. So, genre-wise, I tend to stick to writing/consuming fiction, usually fairly grounded in reality, with superhero stuff tending towards the top of the list.

Some of my favourite literary tropes are "The Self-Chosen One", "The Power of Friendship," and "The Sacrificial Lion".

"Self-Chosen Ones" are kinda self-explanatory, but have some chunky nuance to them. The archetypical "self-chosen one" is Sir Gawain, who chooses to take a challenge that would've otherwise fallen to his king, which ends up roping him... into a bisexual throuple? His isn't as chunky as like, Luz Noceda, who chose to take responsibility for her mistakes and for the people she empowered, or Moana, who rejects her destiny on the basis of destiny and chooses herself to prove TO herself that she can.

Marco, from Adastra, is an interesting instance of this, because the specifics of his "being chosen" were structured in such a way that he super WASN'T necessary. With Luz and Moana, there was... a remarkable lack of people hanging around to solve the plot, so by the Rules Of Stories, they kinda had to take things upon themselves, because otherwise... there's no story. Of course, Marco also had to go forward because PLOT, but 1. Not without grappling with the decision 2. At the detriment to his own health (his near-decapitation) and 3. They clearly outline why he made the choice he did, and also kinda... leave it tenuous on purpose. Very good way of using the trope for a tragedy.

"The Power of Friendship" is less of a trope and more just a reflection of the truth, that humans work well on their own, but will always work better, be happier, and thrive best with other people around them, helping and supporting them. The more direct invocations of this, like in MLP or Yugioh are kinda one of those guilty pleasures, even though I'd argue against the guilty part.

But less overt instances of it, like in Castlevania, when Alucard goes Fucking Nuts because Trevor and Sypha leave. The Avatar Gang and their whole "do you ever wonder if friendships can transcend lifetimes?". There are several instances of "you hurt my friend, time to die" in Invincible that honestly do a lot to keep me going despite the horrific nature of some of the fight scenes.

The most notable one that really got me was the "Loner realizes he has friends and allies" arc in TOTK, because I've clocked. About as many hours on BOTW as I have breathing, and it really does FEEL LONELY AND EMPTY, and that never FELT that way until TOTK came along and my nephew (Tulin) gave me the whole "We're stronger together" bit. I cried.

"Sacrificial Lions" are a little less obvious as to what they are, but the general gist is "a character who exists in the narrative as a heroic bastion of hope, who will be killed or die to further the narrative". Rose Quartz, Pyrrha Nikos, and most versions of Leomon I know about fit this category, as well as, like. Jesus lol.

I've... always liked heroic sacrifices it seems like the best way to really end a heroic character's life, and while I've reexamined that SPECIFIC point, I'm still a lover of the idea. Altruism is a very worthy thing, but I also like how these characters can haunt the narrative, almost always, to the point of making the cast Really Change. Rose is, of course, the inciting incident to an entire show, as her death lines up all of the pins that Steven has to kick over now.

Idk, I'm a fan. I also love it when narrative foils kiss.

[juniaships]

After being reminded of how awful canon film is I wrote my own self indulgent version of Batman Vs. Superman. I want the story to be self contained, so no Doomsday or Darkseid forewarning. Warning: Rambling, me being butthurt while high on sugar, really trying to make this a coherent storyline with genuine development, some Bruce x OC moments shut up you demon!

The beginning is the same as in canon with Lois in Africa???Middle East??? With her partner James Olsen trying to resolve a hostage situation. James gets killed trying to protect a hostage, but before anymore are killed Superman comes in and rescues them. He subdues not kill the terrorists but gets into trouble with the intelligence agency for interrupting their mission. This incident reaches the ears of Helen Hunt's character the no-nonsense Senator. However Superman is more concerned for the deceased James and the unharmed hostages than getting in trouble with the government, he feels guilty being unable to save James in time.

After James Olsen's funeral Clark and Lois are unsure what to do next. They decide the best way to honor his memory is continuing their line of working bringing light to troubling issues as well as a troubling rose of villains. They also find out that the terrorists had weapons given to them by Luthor (to protect interests in that region).

Meanwhile, Lex decides to capitalize on the post destruction of Metropolis by launching a smear campaign. He also starts pursuing charitable events to make himself look good in front of the masses. Because of growing negativity towards Supes, Clark starts feeling a lack of confidence but from reassurance from his mom he redirects his focus hero by doing small stuff around Smallville. Gradually the town starts to see him in a far better light but there's still Metropolis and the larger world. Clark goes there to help rebuild. At his job at DP, he gets the chance to interview visiting millionaire Bruce Wayne in Whatever City (not the actual name but a totally different city from Metropolis and Gotham). At the press meeting Bruce is rather cold & not as Clark expected. He's even working with Lex Luthor as part of a business deal, which makes Clark wary as he knows about Luthor's criminal activity.

Superman goes out in a flight to clear his head. While flying around he sees a kid walking on the railroad tracks hy himself with a pair of headphones....and a train steadily approaching! Supes swoops in and saves the kod from being nuked and chastises him for being so reckless. The teenager apologies and introduces himself as Jimmy Olsen (a nephew of the deceased James). He had been listening to music as a way to cope with his uncle's death. They talk for a while and Superman brings Jimmy back home. Several weeks later Clark ends up mentoring Jimmy as a school project.

Back in Whatever City we're introduced to one of Lex's assistants Nicola. She's a former Holliday Girl who had overheard Lex's plan and vowed to stop him. She managed to get in contact with an old friend: Diana Prince. Nicola brings up Lex's plan and hidden research of metahumans. The Amazon surmises that such a scheme could result in the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of people. Diana decides to bring her agency to stop him & asks Nicola to stay low. Diana gathers her old armor and prays to the Gods for luck.

Lex apparently likes Nicola enough to send her an invite to a charity ball, where she crosses paths with Bruce for the first time. They talk for a while only to be interrupted by Clark.

After a meeting with Luthor to discuss a merger with their companies, and seeing hints of Luthor's true selfishness, Bruce grows suspicious of him and started to dig around. We see through memorabilia that his initial coldness towards Clark and other people wasn't out of spite but of grief: Jason Todd's death some years ago.

Clark continues his good deeds and is slowly regaining his respect. He even makes plan to visit a children's hospital but is forced to cancel when Superman gets called to show up for a Congress hearing. At the meeting Superman admits his guilt but tells about James and how he died a hero. The Senator doesn't know where Superman is going with this but is listening. Then Superman's voice trails of as he hears a beeping noise and shocked he leaves the room in a hurry. He briefly searches the place and finds a bomb strapped in a closet. He carries the bomb out and throws it as high into the sky as possible Back inside the audience and senator are bewildered by his absence then hear a loud booming noise outside. There's shock as a bright light flashes in the sky...

Superman legit rejected their hearing to save them from a bomb. A bomb planted there by Tess on the instructions of Luthor...a plan she was willing to sacrifice her own life for.

This leaves the senator reconsidering her stance: if he really was as bad as people say then he wouldn't have saved them.

After the incident the entire country begins to have a more positive opinion of Superman while the government launches a search for possible terrorists. Bruce hears about what happened and after sneaking around as Batman, finds out about Luthor being the one responsible for the attempted terror attack. Later on he (as civilian) makes an announcement that he is not going to go through with the merger with LexCorp.

Hearing the news that Superman foiled his attempted assassination (and losing out on Wayne Enterprises), Lex gets very pissed off and threatens to fire Tess. She tries to save face by reminding Lex of his contingency plan...making Lex calm down and grin as he begins to remake his plan.

Nicola agrees to a date with Bruce and prepares. Meanwhile Lois and Jimmy are enjoying a night on the town while Clark stays behind to work on a news story. The two friends were about ti make it back to their hotel before being accosted by some men who force them into a car and takes them to Lex Corp.

At the HQ Lois calls him out that his plan could spell doom for the world. Surprisingly Luthor agrees but makes it clear he doesn't care. He orders his men to capture her, but Jimmy manages to escape and goes off to find Clark (who is writing a story to expose Luthor's actions). Jimmy tells him learns from him that Lois is in trouble Superman tells him to stay as he fetches the police. In reality he jas gone to find her as his hero alias. He finds her but just as he's about to rescue her Lex threatens that he also has another certain someone (Martha Kent ) captured if he doesn't comply, seeing that Supes was often seen visiting her. Reluctantly Superman complies and Lois is freed from her bonds, yet Lex takes them as hostages to a room lined with Green Kryptonite. He leaves to his warehouse to check on progress of his prototype. Jimmy wonders where Clark has gone and goes to the police station himself.

On their date Bruce mentions to Nicola that he knows what she's up to. Nicola coldly replies what was he talking about and he mentions Lex's actions and her possible status as an accomplice This starts a spat leading to Nicola spilling that she is working against Lex (making her a foil to the blindly loyal Tess) and that her goal was to stop Lex from unleashing his plan. She already called a friend to help them yet when Bruce presses forward they see a kid (Jimmy) wandering around and concerned asks what's wrong. Jimmy replies that his friend was kidnapped and doesn't know what to do. Bruce leaves to find Clark while Nicola stays with Jimmy.

Nicole & Jimmy arrives back at the hotel and sees Tess Mercer waiting for them. She had been sent by Luthor to eliminate the witness. Nicola tries to talk her coworker out of harming an innocent kid but Tess refuses. They duel but Tess proves to be a surprisingly stronger fighter. Before Tess could come in for the kill a frightened Jimmy knocks her out cold from behind.

At HQ Lois & a weakened Superman attempt an escape. Lois believes its hopeless but Clark reminds her that Lex won't put them down for long. Batman arrives at the HQ and stealthily avoids the guards. He deduces the room Lois and Supes are locked up in and free them. Batman says thay a little birdie told him everything Lois and Clark grinning that it's Jimmy and the two superheroes decide to work together to bring down Lex.

Batman goes to save Martha (the warehouse fight) while Superman goes to confront Lex, dropping Lois off at the hotel where rhe police are waiting (Tess apprehended). Nicola researcher offers to take the reporter home but she declines, not wanting to sit back and watch Lex try to destroy the world. After giving her report to the police she and Nicole meet Steven Trevor (a descendant of Steve Trevor and an agent). Steven says he already sent his men to arrest Lex as they found that he waa behind the bombing. Lois sneaks away to see if she can help Clark.

Clark manages to catch uo to Lex at his lab and tries to reason with him. Lex says that he already unleashed his prototype as a test to see how many lives Superman is able to save. Superman argues that Lex has gone mad trying to play god, which he disagrees: "I'm not playing god I'm only playing favorites is all." Disgusted, Superman leaves and goes off to fight the prototype. As he does an entire line of trucks arrive...led by Nicola's special friend...

Lex realizes he has been found out and tries to destroy the evidence. Lois realize that the monster was made of Kryptonian DNA so she looks around for the spare Kryptonite and manages to grab a considerable long piece. Just as she does the place starts flooding and she runs. However she nearly drown. Fortunately she gets pulled out by a woman wearing armor. Lois doesn't even ask her name as she recognizes the W shaped emblem and blue&red color scheme. Lois gives the heroine the spear and tells her that she says she loves Clark. Wonder Woman nods and heads towards the direction of Superman.

Superman draws the monster out away from the city and is helped by Batman. Wonder Woman arrives with the spear. The final battles commences with Batman providing a distraction to lead the prototype away. Diana and Superman fight the beast but is soon overpowered. Clark takes the makeshift spear and goes off and manages to subdue the creature rather unwilling to kill it. However he gets blown up by a missile sent by the US military and everyone thinks he is dead.

To his he walks out of the smoke, banged up but alive, having narrowly escaped the blast. The monster has died, leaving Clark to wonders sadly if the monster could have been saved as it had no control over its actions. A relieved Lois embraces him as the other two supers look on in bittersweet triumph.

Several days later, the President, on the behest of the Helen Hunt Senator, gives Superman a full pardon. The world also starts to see rising of actual superheroes to take in the increase of villains having been inspired by the actions of the newly dubbed Trinity. The ending shows that long term exposure to Kryptonite left Lex without any hair, cementing his iconic look. He had also beem arrested and tried and ends up locked up at a mental institution on an insanity plea. His other henchmen & Tess are jailed and Luthor's company scrambles to do damage control. Bruce catches up to Clark and apologizes for being cold. They part ways on better terms before musing at the similarities between their alter egos. Diana teases that they make a great team and returns to the capital with her team. Bruce returns to Gotham and stops at the cemetery to place flowers on Jason Todd's grave, showing that he moved to the acceptance stage of grief. Jimmy also ends up getting a job as an intern for Daily Planet with Lois as his mentor this time. And Nicola goes to Gotham to work as a social worker and takes up a case: Cassandra Cain.

The final scene ends with Clark as Superman dressed up in Metropolis visiting a local orphanage/foster home, showing that at his core he truly does care about humanity despite all them haters. 👏👏 👏 happy ending everyone!!!

The movie ends with a montage of

- Cyborg walking around aimlessly in his hometown and finding a discarded newspaper highlighting the heroes' exploits and getting the idea to try becoming a hero himself

- Aquaman in his kingdom catching up with the surface world and becoming curious, and wonders about an alliance

- Barry standing in a hill in his city in costume. He grins and smiles, before pulling over his cowl and racing off

- And Lex, plotting an escape from his cell, suddenly sees a peculiarly tall guard looming over him. He makes a digging comment that the guard shrugs off. To his surprise the guard unlocks the cell and leads Lex out. Lex asks who the guard is; the guard slips off his disguises revealing a sapient Gorilla...Gorilla Grodd!

All This sets up a future plot point that wouldn't be explored until after Justice League where we're introduced to the cinematic LEGION OF DOOM!!! The prototype they fight is not doomsday but foreshadows the creation of Bizarro (who was one of the original members of the LoD).

With the actual Justice League movie we continue with the formation of the team through several subplots converging into one major story arc. The Helen Hunt Senator plays a huge role being their ally and influence on building the Hall of Justice. Plus more Brucola stuff because we need fun stuff in Batman, Tom King.

[bartramcat]

CSI: Natalie Davis and Sara Sidle: The Meeting and Divergence of the Twain

So I've been thinking about the whole Natalie Davis thing, and I realized one of the reasons she is so compelling: not only is she Sara's kidnapper, she is also her foil. 

In Nesting Dolls, Sara asks Grissom if he thinks there is a murder gene. He says he doesn't think genetics predisposes a person to commit murder; it is obviously something Sara has feared might be in her for a long time, given that her mother killed her father.

Natalie, it seems, is possessed of a "murder gene." Her response to any perceived threat or slight is to kill the person responsible. We are not given any reason for her killing her little sister, other than sibling rivalry, but she does so, seemingly without remorse.

A look at the backgrounds of Sara and Natalie reveals some startling similarities. Both enter foster care as the result of a murder. For Natalie, it is a result of her killing her little sister; in Sara's case, it is when her mother kills her father.

Both women are exceptionally bright and obsessively detail oriented.

The teenage years for both are pretty murky, although for Sara it seems that academic studies enabled her to survive her trip through "the system" and to find a purpose. Natalie seems to have found a "safe space" as a result of Ernie Dell's unconditional love.

We know very little about Natalie's life once she becomes an adult. With help from Ernie, she seems to be able to support herself by doing under the table cleaning work. It's also apparent that she shares in Ernie's love for miniature building, although Ernie's interest seems limited to railroad settings.

Sara's life is pretty well documented for us once she comes to Las Vegas. We learn she is an obsessive workaholic and often overly empathetic when it comes to the victims, particularly women and children who have suffered abuse, domestic or otherwise, at the hands of those who were supposed to look after them. She has a passion for justice.

Both women are naturally loners; neither trusts easily. Again, with Natalie, we are given no indication of any relationships outside of the one with Ernie, although there is some indication that perhaps she had affection for her foster brother, Trevor, choosing to memorialize him in the form of a miniature. Whether she intended to make a full miniature of his death is possible, but I think by then she was too focused on Sara to change course.

Bleach for Natalie is a trigger, and she fears it, doubtless due to the memory of her father scrubbing with it over and over to erase the evidence of her killing her sister. That killing led directly to her father rejecting her, rather than cementing her place as the center of his world. The real trigger, however, seems to have been when she perceived a threat to Ernie.

Curiously, both women want to make people pay, especially for those things which most trigger them, but the paths they have chosen are very different. In the scene at the foster home, the foster mother refers to the difference between children who are damaged and those who are broken. Sara is damaged. Natalie is broken.

I don't claim to have any kind of background in psychology. I do know that there remains little explanation for children who are sociopaths. It is clear that Natalie is broken at a very young age, but there is no explanation for the why of it. We are given explanations for Sara's damage. I suppose the argument could be made that Natalie was broken by nature, and Sara was damaged by nurture (or lack thereof). It is perhaps an oversimplification, but Natalie operates more within the parameters of Narcissism and Sara within those of empathy.

It is interesting to me that both Grissom and Sara make attempts to bond with her. Grissom seems to recognize that she cannot respond to anything outside of herself and uses flattery, making her the center of his attention, until she sees through his ruse: "It's all about her, her, her." Sara, on the other hand, appeals to their shared backgrounds. Like Natalie, Sara knows "what it is to be alone... afraid that nobody is ever going to be there for you." 

At first, it seems Sara is making some headway, and she tries to use Ernie's love for her as a way to make her see that he wouldn't want her to do what she is doing. What Sara doesn't understand is that in Natalie's mind she is doing it for Ernie. She thinks she is getting justice for Ernie by making Grissom feel the same loss she does. Her assertion that Grissom could never love Sara the way Ernie loved her speaks to the fact that Ernie killed himself to protect her. Grissom will fail in his attempt to protect/save Sara. And he'll have to live with that.

Of course, the ultimate irony is that Natalie does trigger Sara's own lifelong fears about her own mental stability, causing Grissom to, in fact, lose Sara. I have always thought the most poignant line in her goodbye letter was "I'm afraid I'll self-destruct, and worse, you'll be there to see it happen." So, yeah, on some level, her motivation is similar to Natalie's: to protect the one person she truly loves.

There is a line in one of my other favorite crime dramas: L&O: Criminal Intent, delivered by another female serial killer to Bobby Goren. She tells him: "You could have gone either way." (Curiously, Bobby also has a schizophrenic mother.) And she meant that with his background and OCD tendencies that he could have just as easily become a serial killer rather than a seeker of justice.

I always thought both Grissom and Sara could "have gone either way." Time and again we see Grissom self-identifying with murderers...to a point. In Sara we have a character whose background and experience could have caused her to lead an unsavory life. For whatever reason, instead, both of them found a moral compass which keeps them on a "righteous" path even through their most harrowing episodes of self-doubt and hopelessness.

Natalie Davis never had a moral compass. Her world is very black and white, and she has no filters of any kind to keep her from crossing lines in what she perceives as justice for Ernie. And for herself. While she and Sara have several experiences and characteristics in common, in the long run, their life choices are very different.

And I think that's one of the things that makes Sara Sidle one of the most fascinating characters in the long history of prime time TV. 

[dc-earth53]

#0002: Wonder Woman (Diana of Themyscira)

Age: 45

Occupation: Ambassador, author, adventurer

Marital status: Single

Known relatives: Hippolyta (mother, deceased), Gaea (mother),  Lyta Hall Trevor (half-sister. deceased), Daniel Hall (nephew), Ares (grandfather), Donna Troy (sister), Cassandra Sandsmark (great-aunt).

Group affiliation: Amazons of Themyscira, Justice League of America, formerly Star Sapphire Corps.

Base of operations: Themysciran Embassy, New York City.

Height: 6′0″

Weight: 165 lbs.

History:

45 years ago: Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, ashamed that she had to leave her first daughter behind in man’s world, petitions the gods of Olympus to give her another child. They take pity on her, and instruct her to mold the form of a baby girl from clay. Gaea, spirit of the earth itself, imbues this clay figure with a soul, and Hippolyta names the newborn child Diana.

29 years ago: Teenage Diana befriends Troia, another young Amazon who had been adopted by the tribe after washing ashore as a baby.

20 years ago: 

Sensing much trouble and discord in the world of men, the Olympian gods declared that Themyscira should send out an emissary of peace into the world. Hippolyta holds a contest to determine which Amazon would be sent, forbidding Diana to enter. Disguised, Diana enters the competition nonetheless, winning and claiming the uniform her mother had worn decades before her, as well as her Lasso of Truth.

Diana leaves Themyscira, arriving in Boston, Massachusetts, where she is detained by local authorities. The Olympians intervene on her behalf, appearing to her in animal form and granting her abilities beyond those of normal Amazons.

Diana is taken in by Harvard professor Julia Kapatelis, and her daughter Vanessa, and enrolls at the school to learn more about the world.

Diana is attacked by Decay, a minion of Ares, god of war, and the battle spills out onto the streets, garnering her attention from the media, who dub her “Wonder Woman.”

19 years ago: 

Diana foils a plan by Ares and his children, Phobos and Deimos, to cause a nuclear holocaust, using her lasso to convince the god of the error of his ways.

Diana becomes a founding member of the Justice League of America after teaming up with other heroes to repel an alien invasion of Earth.

18 years ago: 

Diana agrees to hire Myndi Mayer as her publicist.

Troia arrives in Boston, taking the moniker of “Wonder Girl.”

Diana gains the attention of Barbara Minerva, the feline femme fatale calling herself the Cheetah. Minerva attacks Diana, attempting to steal the Lasso of Truth. After subduing her, Diana decides to return home to Themyscira.

17 years ago: 

While on Themyscira, Diana is forced to partake in the Challenge of the Gods in order to sate Zeus’s anger for refusing to sleep with him. She fights monsters including the Hydra and Echidna on her way to freeing the imprisoned demigod Heracles.

Diana is first confronted by Valerie Beaudry, the Silver Swan, and Dr. Doris Zuel, alias Giganta.

15 years ago: 

While on a trip to Greece with Vanessa and Julia, Diana is captured by the sorceress Circe, defeating her with the aid of Hermes. 

When Diana returns to Boston, she finds Myndi Mayer dead, victim of a drug overdose.

14 years ago: Themyscira reveals its existence to the world, and the Amazons begin to take a greater part in world affairs.

13 years ago: Vanessa is kidnapped by the diminutive telepath Edgar Cizko, alias Doctor Psycho, beginning his long rivalry with Diana.

11 years ago: Diana, along with the rest of Earth’s superheroes, participates in the fight against the Anti-Monitor.

10 years ago: 

After the Dominator invasion, Cheetah attempts to steal the Lasso of Truth once more, leading Diana to find the lost city of the Bana-Mighdall tribe of Amazons, and their champion, Artemis.

Diana is caught up in a war between the various pantheons of gods on Earth, and is seemingly murdered by Circe during the fighting. With the aid of the Phantom Stranger, she returns to life and defeats Circe, ending the war.

9 years ago: Diana is briefly replaced by Artemis as Wonder Woman after Hippolyta has a vision of her daughter’s death. Artemis dies instead, and Diana reclaims her mantle

8 years ago: 

Diana joins the new incarnation of the Justice League, assembled to combat a team of rogue White Martians.

Vanessa Kapatelis is mutated into the new Silver Swan by Circe, who sets her loose against Diana.

7 years ago: 

Diana re-locates to Gateway City, befriending museum curator Helena Sandsmark and her daughter, Cassandra. Cassandra disguises herself, and using artifacts stolen from Diana’s belongings, helps defeat Morgaine le Fey as the new Wonder Girl.

Themyscira is destroyed by the forces of Imperiex and Brainiac, killing many of the Amazons, including Hippolyta. The survivors relocated to a new Themyscira - a floating island built in the Bermuda Triangle.

5 years ago: 

Diana takes a position as Themyscira’s ambassador to the United Nations, moving to New York City. She publishes a book, titled “Reflections: A Collection of Essays and Speeches,” which makes an enemy out of pharmaceutical tycoon Veronica Cale.

Diana confronts Maxwell Lord, who murdered the Blue Beetle and had Superman under his control, and snaps his neck. Afterwards, seeking internal peace, Diana makes a pilgrimage to Nanda Parbat, leaving her post to Troia.

4 years ago: 

Despite strained relationships with Superman and Batman, Diana joins the newly restructured Justice League.

Diana is placed on trial by the World Court for the murder of Maxwell Lord, with Kate Spencer as her attorney. She is cleared of all charges and returns to the embassy.

3 years ago: Granny Goodness, in the guise of Athena, and Circe, work together, leading an attack on the United States by Themyscira. Diana is forced to fight against her sisters.

2 years ago:

During the Blackest Night crisis, Diana temporarily becomes empowered by the Violet Light of Love, becoming a Star Sapphire.

The resurrected Maxwell Lord enacts a scheme to eliminate Diana from play, trapping her in a prison of her own mind with the aid of Doctor Psycho - all part of a scheme from Nemesis, goddess of revenge. Diana defeats Nemesis and returns to reality.

1 year ago: Diana is attacked by Grail, daughter of Darkseid, who wants the essence of the gods to restore her father to adulthood.

Present day: Diana continues working at the embassy, while also continuing to serve with the Justice League and aiding the Sentinels of Magic against the goddess Hecate.

Commentary:

If Superman embodies hope and Batman embodies justice, Diana embodies compassion. Her existence is almost paradoxical: she’s the most compassionate of the Trinity, but also the most willing to kill when it comes down to it. The New 52 took her character too far in the direction of being a warrior, emphasizing the sword as her main weapon rather than her lasso and bracelets - to the point where her lasso became part of a chainsaw in Death Metal (as badass as that was). This Diana largely rejects that part of her nature, leaning into her status as an ambassador of peace to the world and believing in an open hand rather than a closed fist whenever possible.

This version of Diana is largely based on George Perez and Greg Rucka’s interpretations of the character, although that raises a few issues with regards to the timeline. Since post-Crisis Diana was introduced without any of her prior history, her post-Crisis early career is spread out over several years in this timeline. Certain elements of the post-Flashpoint interpretation of the character are also included, namely her being detained as an illegal alien by immigration officials, and her battle against Grail after this universe’s equivalent of Final Crisis.

This Diana also adheres to her origin according to Perez, rather than Brian Azzarello’s revamped origin that was also used for the live-action film. Diana was originally envisioned as an inherently feminist character, and making her narrative a patriarchal one centered around her heritage as a descendant of Zeus detracts from that. Rather, she’s a daughter of Hippolyta and Gaea, empowered by the female members of the Olympian pantheon (as well as Hermes). Diana doesn’t need a man behind her to be powerful, she just is.

She also doesn’t need a love interest. I have no hatred in my heart for Steve Trevor, but the character works better in the setting of World War II. In this continuity, he’s Hippolyta’s lover who later settles down with Etta Candy after Hippolyta returns to Themyscira. Perhaps a lover is in the cards for her in the near future, however.

Diana’s costume in this canon is the one she currently sports in Rebirth canon. I am shocked that it took so long to give her a battle skirt, given how much sense it makes as a permutation of the classic culottes or leotard look. 

Got questions about Diana or anything else? My asks are open!

Upcoming:

#0003 - Hal Jordan

#0004 - Aquaman

#0005 - ?????

[setaripendragon]

Snily AU - Book 1?

So, okay, I started typing up a post asking for help planning out how the series would go if, instead of canon, Sev and Lily got together and fucked off to Italy to go to Magic University, but it ended up so long that I thought I ought to split it into sections for each of Harry’s school years.

Primarily, there are three things that are key features of this AU:

1) Sev/Lily, which is how the timeline starts to diverge, which lead to; 2) Boy-Who-Lived!Neville, since Harry only had one parent who ‘thrice defied’ Voldemort, and 3) Slytherin!Harry, because I want to and no one can stop me =D

Aaand if any of that is interesting to you, and you want to help me figure out some of the kinks in the plot caused by all those stupid-massive changes, read on under the cut:

So, I think I gotta start with a bit of the backstory. Neville and Harry swap backstories, for the most part. Neville’s parents were killed by Voldemort, who then ‘died’ trying to kill Neville, while Harry’s Dad and Uncle Padfoot were tortured into insanity, and he was sent to live with his mother, who is generally unimportant, except for the fac that she’s magical, probably a Gryffindor, and a stand-in for the Dursleys in that she’s neglectful-bordering-on-outright-abusive of the kid she didn’t actually want but got saddled anyway.

Once the war ends, Sev and Lily come back to the UK with their daughter Maeve (Ginny’s age) and Lily gets back in touch with old school friends, including Remus. Sev opens up a potions and alchemy shop/apothecary in Diagon Alley, and Lily starts training to be a healer.

Sirius starts to recover (James doesn’t because I just don’t like him, okay) and goes to stay with Remus, and they end up fighting to get custody of Harry from his shitty mum. Lily helps. (Sev helps, too, because as much as he still hates Remus and Sirius, he knows he would have done anything for parents that actually loved and wanted him. He also makes the wolfsbane potion for Remus gratis so that his lycanthropy doesn’t get in the way of getting custody of Harry.)

So Harry grows up as a normal (if somewhat neglected to start with) boy who loves his two fucked up dads and his aunt Lily and uncle Sev. He makes friends with Ron (and Maeve with Ginny and Luna) because Remus and Sirius were in the order with Molly’s brothers (and probably Molly herself, right? I can’t remember if canon ever confirms or denies) and when Molly heard they had a kid about Ron’s age, she arranged playdates, and Maeve, of course, got dragged along.

I’ve got a few questions about the backstory, but they mostly only get adressed later on, so I didn’t really focus on them too hard, but here they are in case anyone has any ideas:

1) Who betrays the Longbottoms to Voldemort? 1a) Does anyone need to betray them to Voldemort? Do they use the Fidelius? Or do they have a well-warded Manor like the Malfoys? 2) Who tortures James and Sirius? Is it still Bellatrix, Barty, and co? Or is Pettigrew involved? 3) Who’s the spy? I’m thinking this should be a Regulus Lives AU, too, and he should be the spy. 3a) Does there need to be a spy at all? 3b) If Regulus is the spy, how the fuck did he survive? Since I’m trying not to make any changes that don’t at least in some small way lead back to the original divergance, why would Sev/Lily leaving the country after Hogwarts mean that Regulus survived?

But then Harry goes to Hogwarts, and the fucking chaos starts.

So, just first off, Neville is the one Ron befriends on the train, and Hermione probably helps Neville with Trevor as per canon, too, so the ‘Golden Trio’ is fairly set with just a simple swap. Maybe Harry sits with them? But because he’s sorted into Slytherin, he doesn’t really get quite as enmeshed into their friend group, I don’t think. After all, he’s going to end up being the sort of pioneer for interhouse friendships and redeeming Slytherin, so it can’t start easy for him.

And speaking of redeeming Slytherin, I really like the idea that Harry and Draco are... sort of rivals and foils and two-sides-of-the-same-coin in Slytherin house, and being the ringleaders of a schism that eventually leads to the revolution of Slytherin house away from being a Death Eater Recruiting Ground and back into a proud, noble Hogwarts House filled with those students who have the power and the drive and the sheer spite to succeed despite all odds. (And eventually it comes out that Salazar Slytherin himself would absolutely one hundred percent have been on Harry’s side, because I adore good!Slytherin and nothing in canon explicitly shows that he wasn’t.)

But with all of that... I’m left with a big question as to how much of Neville’s story is going to parallel Harry’s from canon? Did he meet Hagrid in Diagon Alley? (Why? Wouldn’t he just go with his Grandmother?) If he didn’t, then he has no idea about anything about bank robbery to connect it with Fluffy. I think the whole rememberal/Quidditch thing would go about the same in canon, except Harry doesn’t get on the house team because he’s in Slytherin and Slughorn isn’t that biased or influential. He and Draco both just loose points and get told off. And the midnight duel, I think would happen about as it did in canon, and Harry wouldn’t be involved at all, but it would, at least, let Neville know that there’s a Cerberus guarding something, even if he doesn’t realise that ‘something’ is the something Hagrid took from Gringott’s.

I think Neville would definitely want to help Hermione during the whole Troll In The Dungeon Incident. I also like the idea of Harry (and Blaise (who honestly makes a fantastic foil for Ron when you compare what they have vs what they want) and Tracey (wiki says she’s supposed to be half-blood, but Tracey is such a muggle name to me that I’ve decided she’s muggleborn) because Harry needs awesome Slytherin friends) being very unimpressed at Dumbledore’s orders to send the Slytherins to their common room in the dungeons while there’s a troll down there and they wander off to explore and accidentally find the Mirror of Erised.

Which brings me to another problem. The Invisibility Cloak. It’s rightfully Harry’s, it should go to Harry, but it was in Dumbledore’s possession, and I don’t think Remus or Sirius would have thought to ask the man for it. Unless... would it have been in Dumbledore’s possession if James hadn’t been thrust into the spotlight by the prophecy? Did it end up in Remus’s possession while both James and Sirius were in St Mungo’s? Or does it end up in Dumbledore’s possession anyway, and would he really give such a useful tool to a relative nobody instead of the Boy Who Lived who might need it?

I mean, that might be a nice source of conflict later? If Harry finds out that Dumbledore did that? I think, if it came out, Neville would be good enough to give it up to it’s rightful owner, despite how useful he might find it, and Harry might be good enough to lend it to him since he has more use for it. But I have no idea which might be better for the story/more fun for me the writer. So there’s two more questions and their sub-questions for you:

4) Does Neville meet Hagrid in Diagon Alley? 4a) Do they just happen to meet and Hagrid blurts out secrets he’s not supposed to? Or is Hagrid there as a sort of bodyguard for the Boy Who Lived? 4b) Even if he does meet Hagrid there, does he actually see the vault the Philosopher’s Stone comes from? 5) Who gets the Invisibility Cloak, Harry or Neville? 5a) Did Dumbledore ever even take it from James at all?

And then? Then there’s Norbert. Is Neville even friends with Hagrid in this? If he’s not, then everything probably goes compeltely off-script. Hagrid tries to keep Norbert until he can’t hide him (her) anymore, Hagrid gets into trouble for keeping a dragon, and idk maybe Dumbledore gets him out of too much trouble, but it would still be... kind of huge. Maybe Hagrid gets arrested? Maybe Hagrid just gets fined and told off. Norbert might get put down, or maybe (s)he just gets officially shipped to a reserve? Either way, Neville never gets the detention in the Forest, never meets Quirrellmort, and maybe never realises Voldemort wants what’s hidden in the school? Where the fuck would the plot even go from there? Quirrellmort just stays under the school staring in desperation at a mirror until Quirrell starves to death? What? Do I go that route?

If I say that Neville and Hagrid are friends, which... can probably make sense. Hagrid would have known Neville’s parents same as Harry’s, and if he was some sort of bodyguard for Neville in Diagon Alley, they could have made friends there? Or maybe Hagrid just made a comment when he was rowing the First Years across the lake about knowing Neville’s parents, and Neville searched him out to find out about them from a source that isn’t his Grandmother?

6) Is Neville friends with Hagrid? 6a) If yes, how is Neville friends with Hagrid? 6b) If no, how far off-script do I go? Should I try and orchestrate some other way for Neville to run into Quirrellmort? Some other way for him to make friends with centaurs and learn that it’s a Philosopher’s Stone under the castle?

Assuming I do try to weave close to canon, I think the whole Norbert thing would happen mostly the same, except with Neville and Harry’s roles reversed. I do like the idea of Harry hearing Draco gloating in the Common Room about how he’s going to get Neville into trouble because he’s got a dragon, and Harry deciding to try and warn Neville. (That would be an argument in favour of Harry having the Invisibility Cloak, because it would up his motivation to go out that night to find Neville (and Hermione) because he has a way to hide them.)

And the detention in the Forest would be the same, more or less, except I think I’d go with Harry being with Neville when Quirrellmort goes after Neville, instead of Draco. Because Harry has his own reasons to hate Voldemort and his followers, and it’d be interesting to be able to contrast Harry and Neville’s reactions to the incident. And that would introduce Firenze (I do like Firenze), and give Neville at least enough intel to figure that there’s some life-giving magic being guarded by Fluffy, even if he doesn’t get the same Dumbledore-Flamel-Stone revelation?

And if all of that does happen, then I think I want Harry to go with the Golden Trio to stop Voldemort getting the Stone. I like the idea of Slytherin!Harry still getting to be a bit of a hero, this time by his own volition, and not because Destiny (and Voldemort’s obsession) keeps throwing him into the role whether he likes it or not. Idk how I’d get him to the right place at the right time, though, to be there when Neville hears Hagrid’s story of the man in the pub.

Either way, I want him to be there because of the Flying Keys Challenge. Neville gets to shine with the Devil’s Snare, Ron with Chess Set as per canon, and... idk what Slughorn’s challenge might be, but I don’t think it would be as cool as Sev’s. Maybe a magical puzzle box. Bet Hermione would have fun with that... So there’s some more questions, which I’m going to let stand on their own, even though they’re kind of entirely contingent on the answer to question six:

7) Does Harry go with Neville to stop Voldemort getting the Stone? 7a) How does he know where to be? Does he hear Hagrid’s story and share Neville’s revelation? Or does he find out what Quirrell’s doing some other way? 8) What is Slughorn’s Potions Challenge? 8a) Should it be a similar sort of logic-puzzle as we see in the books, to play to Hermione’s strengths that way? Or should it be more... dependent on some esoteric bit of knowledge that Hermione just happens to know?

But this is all assuming I follow canon! Urgh! On the one hand, following the formula already laid out is easier, but on the other hand, nothing annoys me so much as an AU that goes out of it’s way to stick to canon plot points even though, with the changes that’ve already been made, there’s no reason for those events to happen? I just really can’t figure out which would be best >.<

Either way, though, I think the year would still end with Quirrell dying, and Voldemort fleeing. And either way, Slytherin wins the House Cup (Harry wins enough points for Slytherin to tip the scales, if I follow canon plot points), because fuck Dumbledore’s petty bullshit. And either way, they’d come to roughly the same point at the end of the year, so Book 2 could start the same, no matter how the second half of this year goes.

I’ll put together another post for the second year of this insane AU at some point, I already have some ideas for changes I want to make, and some big problems I don’t quite know how to deal with. In the meantime... thoughts, anyone?

[sage-nebula]

pokemon (games and anime) and yu-gi-oh

Pokémon:

Games: 

There are so many Pokémon characters that it’s honestly hard to pick one . . . though I’d have to say that it’s probably a weird sort of tie between Trevor and Wicke.

As far as Trevor is concerned, honestly, I can’t stand any of the XY rivals. Three out of the four of them (Shauna, Trevor, and Tierno) are pathetic in terms of having a good opponent to battle against, and likewise, three out of the four of them (Calem, Trevor, and Tierno) have awful personalities. Like, Shauna is at least okay in terms of personality. I didn’t mind her as much as I minded the other three. But Calem came off as a fuckboy, Tierno was nothing but his gimmick, and Trevor’s dialogue was painful to sit through due to how redundant he was. “I like trees. In other words, trees are a thing I like.” No fucking shit, Trevor. Can you please piss off and let me get back to my journey now? Christ. 

In all honesty, the “rival” squad (can we even really call them rivals when they never have more than half of a team and can’t put up more than a three second fight?) wouldn’t have been so bad if they didn’t show up so often---and even then, I think if you probably pieced the game apart, it’s not that they all show up all the time, but rather that there are so many of them that it feels like you’re being stopped every five seconds so that characters you have no reason to feel attached to can squeal “BFF!1!!!1!! 8D” and impede your journey with dialogue you don’t care about. Because after all, they didn’t all travel together all the time. I think there are only a couple times when they all show up together. Otherwise you were just stopped by one or two of them, but given that there are four, it really dragged things down and aggravated me to the point where I just wanted to push them all off a bridge somewhere and have done with it. They’re absolutely my least favorite rivals in the entire series, hands down. But with that said, as much as I dislike all of them (with the caveat that, again, Shauna is okay, she’s just a pitiful excuse for a rival since she never gets a full team and can’t even begin to pretend to put up a fight), Trevor is hands down the worst, imo. I can’t stand his dialogue. Repetition makes me want to carve out my brain with an ice pick and there is no character more redundant than Trevor. So yeah, there’s a special place of hate in my heart reserved just for him.

As far as Wicke is concerned, my dislike for her primarily comes from how terribly written and bland she was. In canon, she’s nothing more than your standard Sweet Motherly™ stereotype, meant to contrast with Lusamine being an abusive mother. There’s nothing standout about her dialogue; if you read it without a dialogue tag attached, it would read as completely generic. She has virtually no personality aside from “somewhat timid and motherly,” and that’s incredibly disappointing considering the fact that she’s one of the few Aether Foundation members with an actually unique character design, and a somewhat important role in the plot. (Of course, the female characters in general were treated rather horribly in Gen VII imo, and this is part of that, but that’s another discussion for another time.) 

But that’s only part of it. In truth, while I really hate how generic she was, and while I feel that it’s a complete waste to not have her be evil as well (though again, with how Lusamine was handled . . . god there’s so much to complain about with the Gen VII plot istg), I also feel that there’s something insidious about her that’s just never touched on or actually brought up. Like, for instance, Wicke knew about how abusive Lusamine was to the twins. Supposedly, she “helped” Lillie somehow. Yet, Lusamine was still able to abuse Lillie (and Gladion, while he was there), and Wicke did nothing. She didn’t actively defend them, and even seemed (in a couple lines) to disparage Gladion a bit for leaving. In fact, she straight up calls him “sheltered” later on, which is complete fucking nonsense considering he was abused and then was homeless for two years. Yet she’s going to sit there and mock him for being “sheltered?” What the fuck, Wicke? We’re supposed to believe she’s this nurturing, kind woman, that she has nothing malevolent in her personality at all, yet she seems to know an awful lot about Ultra Beasts, and seems to have quite a bit of interest in them herself. She didn’t help the twins when they were being abused. Gladion is technically president of Aether Foundation now, but she’s right there running things behind the scenes . . .

Of course, I don’t think she’s actually meant to be evil or malicious. She’s too bland, too much of an afterthought for that. But I do think that while she’s a terribly written character for being so boring, she’s also terrible in what little we get of her. She didn’t help the twins, and she flat out belittles Gladion and calls him “sheltered” despite what he’s been through. Wicke can go fuck herself, tbqh.

Anime: 

That fucker Damien from the OS. I’ve ranted about him at length before, so I won’t go into it again, but he can go get fucked. He’s the actual worst for how abusive he was to Charmander (and others, I’m sure). I hope a wild pokémon ate him at some point. He’d deserve it.

If Characters of the Day don’t count, then probably Paul. Yeah, yeah, I know, “but he was such a good rival for Ash!” and “but he learned to thank his pokémon!!1″ Well, one, I honestly wonder if people would think he was ~zomg the best rival~ had Ash lost to him at the Sinnoh League (or if they would instead be salty against him 5ever), and two, I don’t care that he learned to do the absolute bare minimum when it comes to being a decent human being. The fact remains that he was still an abusive fuck to Chimchar at the least, and didn’t treat his other pokémon much better, instead viewing them as tools he needed to win battles. (Which, yes, was the point considering he was supposed to be a foil to Ash, but that doesn’t mean I have to personally like it.) Animal abuse (which pokémon abuse is, in my eyes) is one of my biggest triggers. I have it blacklisted every which way I can in Tumblr Savior and hate when I’m surprised by it on Facebook, et cetera. It’s easier to digest in a show like Pokémon since it’s all animated, but nonetheless, it’s one of the absolute worst things in my eyes. It’s one of the most heinous acts a human can perform in my view. And so the fact that Paul is a pokémon abuser---the fact that he was shown to have “developed” by just thanking his pokémon and that we were supposed to be proud of him for this---is disgusting to me, and something I can’t forgive. I especially can’t forgive it since, again, him thanking Electivire was supposed to be seen as ~zomg development~ when, again, that’s the bare minimum you should expect out of a trainer. The absolute bare minimum. That’s not love, or even care; that’s being halfway decent. I also hate that Paul’s “style” of “training” was supposed to be seen as just “one way to do things,” because no. No. It’s cruel and unacceptable. It goes completely against what the franchise has always been about, and hell, we never even saw the Johto Rival dismiss one of the pokémon he said he was going to, and yet he still wasn’t allowed to succeed until he openly started showing love and acceptance toward his team. Yet Paul is able to make it all the way to the League despite being an abusive prick on-screen? Get out of here. It’s especially ludicrous when you consider that the Johto Rival has an understandable reason for his attitude (i.e. he was raised in Team Rocket where this kind of abusive behavior was normalized---though again, despite his constant threats of getting rid of his team, he never actually does), whereas Paul does not (“wah wah my brother Reggie gave up training to be a breeder instead---” get the fuck over it, that’s not an excuse for abusing innocent creatures). Seriously, it’s beyond ridiculous.

So yeah, either Damien or Paul. I usually hold stronger feelings of hatred toward Damien, particularly openly since I know that Paul is a Fandom Darling™ (and seriously, I don’t want to argue with anyone over Paul, please don’t try to start The Discourse™ with me, I’m not interested), but in truth I don’t like either of them. They can both go get fucked, imho.

(And the fact that people ship Dawn with Paul, like . . . why would you play her like that . . . Dawn, sweetie, I’m sorry they treat you this way, you deserve so much better . . .)

Yu-Gi-Oh!:

“Bandit” Keith Howard. I used to answer Haga for this question, but upon reflection, even though Haga is terrible, he’s only fourteen. He’s a kid. He still has room to grow and become less of a shitty person.

Keith, on the other hand, is twenty-six. He’s the oldest person present at Duelist Kingdom, outside of Pegasus’ employees (since I don’t think we’re given ages for them). I’m not exaggerating, here: Keith is older than both Pegasus and Mai, both of whom are twenty-four. Sure, he only has two years on them, but he’s still older than them both. He should, theoretically, be at least a little more mature than them.

He’s not. Keith is awful. Not only is he a filthy cheater when it comes to games, but he’s willing to assault children (well, teenagers, but teenagers are kids to me and I’m only a year older than Keith at this point) and commit murder over a card game. I understand that Keith wanted to win money from Duel Monsters, but goddamn. He’s selfish, violent, and doesn’t really have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Keith is, in many ways, written like a school arc villain, albeit with the caveat that he actually has a much longer stay in the plot due to being an antagonist throughout all of Duelist Kingdom (which in turn makes him even worse than a school arc villain, since none of them* really had the opportunity to show any good qualities, whereas Keith did and he still didn’t). Either way, I don’t find anything redeemable in Keith’s character. He is trash from start to finish, and in the end is a grown man who assaults children and tries to murder people over a card game. He’s definitely my least fave, particularly since he’s not even a very creative, compelling, or effective villain.

(*Hirutani has two appearances, and thus he also had some extra time to showcase good qualities, and he still didn’t. This is because Hirutani Kimio does not really have positive character qualities, at least not when it comes to being a decent human being. He is not decent by most people’s standards. He is aware of this. He does not care. However, unlike Keith, Hirutani is an effective and compelling villain, and his second appearance really served to drive this point home with how much clearer his obsession with Jounouchi---which, tbh, was even evident in his first appearance---became. Hirutani has a lot of worth and value as a character, in my eyes. Keith does not. So therefore, while Hirutani is also a bastard, he’s an effective one, and thus I love him for the effective bastard he is. Keith is not effective, or useful. He’s just trash. I have no use for him. Back in the dumpster he goes.)

(Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my least favorite character in it.)

[thesnootyushers]

As season 11 of Trailer Park Boys lands on Netflix, here’s my attempt at launching at a British version.

Trailer Park Boys returns for it’s 11th season today on Netflix. It is hugely popular around the world despite its very humble beginnings. It starts out as a documentary following Julian and Ricky as they get out of prison and attempt to go straight. They move back to the trailer park they have lived their whole lives, and the wacky characters of the park have made for a great comedy series eer since. After coming to an end on traditional TV, the three main actors (JP Tremblay, Robb Wells, and Mike Smith) kept the show going through a series of films, before launching Swearnet, their own produciton company and online network. They bought the rights to the Trailer Park Boys and have gone about making the franchise bigger than ever, having teamed up with Netflix to produce live specials, and even recently did a series with their characters touring Europe, which featured Noel Fielding in the first episode. They also regularly appear in character on chat shows, and there is a whole bunch of content on Swearnet featuring various cast members of TPB.

And with their international success, why not try to produce a British version?

Bear with me Bubbles, I think it would look a little something like this…

Julian (John Paul Tremblay ) to be played by …. ANDREW LINCOLN

Julian takes the lead in most of the boys schemes, and at times he is even moderately successful, before his loyalty to his friends and trailer park, the law, or sheer bad luck usually end up with him back at square one. He has gone legit a few times, running a bar/club/casino, and also various illegal plans such as a clean urine business. He is also the one who invited the cameras into the trailer park for the first time. As nominally the straight man in the trio, there were a few names that came to mind in a British version, including Martin Freeman, Ben Miller, and of course Idris Elba, because he should be in everything. None of them had the greasy edge that Julian has, until I thought of Andrew Lincoln. Although now a superstar due to The Walking Dead, his role in Teachers showed that he can do comedy drama, and obviously Egg in This Life wasn’t a totally straight role. And look at that picture of him in a black T-short and jeans – a bit more tricep meat and he’s perfect!

Ricky (Robb Wells) to be played by …. NICK FROST

Ricky is, simply put, an idiot. Rickyisms are one of the highlights of the show (“Make like a tree and f*** off”, “Looks like we need two turnips and heat” and “Don’t judge a cover of a book by its look” are some of my favourites), and I just think Nick Frost would be great at delivering them. He would also be brilliant with the physical comedy, as Ricky is constantly falling over:

  A natural Ricky!

Bubbles (Mike Smith) to be played by …. MACKENZIE CROOK

And so onto the breakout, and most difficult to cast, character. Bubbles started out as an odd neighbour, but over time has grown into being the heart of the show. He lives in a small shed and is devoted to his kitties, as well as being a budding singer. In turn, actor Mike Smith seems to be the most natural performer when it comes to the live shows. Although I toyed with the idea of Peter Kay or Steve Coogan doing a comedy character similar to a young Leonard the paper boy or Duncan Thickett. Or Marek Larwood from We Are Klang, to try and match Bubbles heer weirdness. But when it comes to oddball characters, giving it a British twist is what we do best, and I can’t think of anyone who would capture Bubbles’ nervous, naive nature than Mackenzie Crook. And in the same way that Gareth Keenan was originally a totally different character before Crook auditioned and won the role, Bubbles would be slightly tweaked by retain the spirit of the original character. Plus Crook is sublime in BBC Four’s The Detectorists, alongside the great Toby Jones.

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth) to be played by …. JIM BROADBENT

The supporting characters in Trailer Park Boys are much more complex than in most comedy shows. Jim Fahey is the Trailer Park supervisor, an ex-police officer, with a serious drink problem. At the beginning of the series he is a comedic foil for the boys, almost like Officer Dibble in Top Cat, but later he goes on the offensive to try and get rid of Julian, Ricky, and Bubbles. He has season long arcs, and a love story for the ages with Randy. There were a whole bunch of slightly older British actors I considered. Paul Whitehous, Timothy Spall or Mark Heap. But there’s a underlying tragedy to Mr Lahey, and I think that Jim Broadbent would be fantastic in this role. He has a background in comedy, and one of his most recent roles, as James McAvoy’s therapist in Filth, shows that he isn’t afraid to get weird when required.

Randy (Patrick Roach) to be played by …. JOHNNY VEGAS

Randy is the Assistant Supervisor at the Trailer Park for most of the show, occasionally holding different positions depending on the whims of the owners. At one time in their younger days he was friendly with Julian, Bubbles, and especially Ricky, but now he is on the side of law and order, helping Lahey to thwart the boys. He is also truly in love with Mr Lahey. There was only really one choice for the role of the shirtless, cheeseburger-eating, rotund Randy – Johnny Vegas.

Sarah (Sarah Dunsmore) to be played by… JESSICA HYNES

Onto the female characters. Sarah has got the measure of the boys, never taking any of their nonsense and with almost no romantic entanglement to cloud her judgement. She is also far more successful than Julian when it comes to planning and executing schemes – Trailer Park Girls would be a much different show! Jessica Hynes is a comedy great – she was one of the highlights of my Christmas countdown with her star turn in Nativity 2 – and as a smart woman trapped by her circumstances, she would be perfect. She’s also grown beyond her role as Daisy in Spaced, but I reckon we could work in one reference with her and Nick Frost, and someone else later on…

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere) to be played by… SHARON HORGAN

Another smart, confident woman who is held back by one thing – although with Lucy it is her love of Ricky that keeps dragging her back to him. She knows that she deserves better than him, but she loves him so they always end up back together. Although Horgan has made her name with starring roles in comedies like BBC Three’s Pulling and more recently Catastrophe which has been picked up by Netflix. This has led to her new show Divorce getting picked up on HBO, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church.  This would be a great role for her to just be a comedy actor though, a bit like when Chris Morris was in the first series of The IT Crowd.

Barb Lahey (Shelley Thompson) to be played by… JULIA DAVIS

Barb is the owner of the Trailer Park, and the wife of Jim. She also has a bit of a dark edge to her, being ready to act in her own self-interest and sell the park to anyone with the money. Julia Davis would be great to be involved, stuff like Nighty Night and Hunterby more than shows her comedy chops. I also see Barb as a young woman being impressed by dashing police officer Jim Lahey before he lost his job and fell into his spiral of self destruction, so that is why she is so much younger than Jim Broadbent. This would also help her bond with Lucy and Sarah, who I’ve always thought more of as an older sister rather than a mother figure.

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens) to be played by …. SIMON PEGG

J Roc is the trailer parks’ resident wannabe rapper. He has a million and one catchphrases that have evolved over the course of the show,“maafk”. For the equivalent version in Britain I needed a very British comedian with a love of hip hop – so why not Simon Pegg? I reckon we could shoehorn in ONE Spaced reference with the Tim, Daisy, and Mike reunion.

Cyrus (Bernard Robichaud) to be played by …. JASON STATHAM

You didn’t think I could get through this without The Stath, did you? Cyrus is the inept faux gangster/pimp/tough guy who is the Boys main criminal antagonist. I’ve not recast everyone in the series, but Cyrus would be the big bad over the course of the first season of my British version of Trailer Park Boys.

Sebastian Bach (Sebastian Bach) to be played by …. BRUCE DICKINSON

Rockstar Sebastian Bach plays a recurring role in Trailer Park Boys, and a British reboot would need someone of a similar stature. Iron Maiden front man Bruce Dickinson could get involved with a drug distribution scheme either with his band on tour or with his own jet (he’s got a pilot’s licence).

Cory and Trevor (Cory Bowles and Michael Jackson) to be played by… DANIEL RADCLIFFE and RUPERT GRINT

Cory and Trevor are basically used by Ricky and Julian as a supply of cheap labour and free cigarettes. They are basically included in the plans to be ready-made scapegoats and take the rap when things naturally go wrong. So why not get the boys from Harry Potter back together?

But where is it set?

Sunnyvale, Nova Scotia to be replace by… BRIDLINGTON, YORKSHIRE!

In this country, we don’t really have “trailer parks” on the same scale of North America, so it has to be a seaside resort. Bridlington it is!

And that’s it for my British version of Trailer Park Boys. I’d like to thank our Senior Wrestling Correspondent Jonny Hogarth for his help as a sounding board to bounce my ideas off with this article, as I mentioned throughout there really were a a lot of names in the mix. What other shows would you like to see remade in a British setting?

So, what do you think now, Bubbles?

That’s all I ever wanted to hear.

Until next time, stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold. See you soonish.

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Fan Cast – Trailer Park Boys: The British Version As season 11 of Trailer Park Boys lands on Netflix, here's my attempt at launching at a British version.

[jaydofmo]

Comic Book TV season opening reviews

Had a good summer? I didn't. I mean, I still had to work and all. Summers mean less post-30. Except for OzCon. That was awesome. I'm not going to be doing these blogs weekly like last year. Instead, I'll write reviews when I wish. Most likely if there's anything I want to say in the midseason finale. I'll certainly be reviewing more than one episode of The Flash this year over at my new blog, Dibny Diaries. The Defenders - The culmination of the Netflix and Marvel shows sees Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Matt Murdock and Danny Rand unite to defend New York City from the machinations of The Hand. The eight-episode format nearly makes this one of the better Netflix and Marvel shows, except for the sheer number of characters included. Not only do we have the four main characters, but their supporting casts also showing up and getting involved, and while this is done well, it can be a bit much on first time viewing. The plot is not the same high-stakes adventure that we saw in The Avengers, the first live action Marvel team up property. A good reason for this is right in the titles: The Defenders. Defense is preventative, while avenging means something bad has already happened. When viewed that way, the series is more satisfying. DuckTales - Disney XD revives the classic 80s show for the 21st century with a new voice cast (except for Donald Duck, who is still voiced by Tony Anselmo), a new look, and a brand new continuity. The original DuckTales was inspired by the comic book stories of Carl Barks, and while the new version is still proud of the original series, it takes a lot of inspiration from the Barks comics. The double-length season/series opener features Donald Duck leaving his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie with his Uncle Scrooge McDuck while he has a job interview. Meeting Webby Vanderquack—granddaughter of Mrs. Beakley, Scrooge's housekeeper—the boys get into trouble with Scrooge's treasures, which Scrooge helps them set right, reawakening his sense of adventure. After an adventure in Atlantis, Scrooge invites Donald and the boys to move in with him. The new series so far has introduced many elements of DuckTales lore around fun and exciting plots that are written so well that adults without kids should enjoy it as well. As of the fifth episode aired, we have Flintheart Glomgold, the Number One Dime, the Beagle Boys, Gyro Gearloose and his helper robot, and Magica DeSpell. New to the series is a running plot addressing what happened to the mother of Huey, Dewey and Louie, Della Duck. Fans of fun adventure of all ages should find quite a bit to like about this new DuckTales, so I recommend it. Inhumans - Marvel's third show for ABC was a collaboration between them and IMAX theaters, who ran an edited down version of the first two episodes in theaters for a couple weeks in early September. Now the first five episodes have finished airing. Running into a coup on the moon by his brother Maximus, Black Bolt and the other members of the royal family are forced to flee the city of Atillan to Hawaii, where they must reunite before returning to take back the throne from Maximus. The royal Inhumans can be compelling characters, but their in-character snobbery can make them off-putting. In the comics, the royal family was introduced in the pages of Fantastic Four, allowing a familiar and likeable team to be the conduit to meeting these characters. Inhumans doesn't have this luxury, with the Agents of SHIELD no longer on Earth and no other teams at the TV department's disposal. The series attempts to find ways to make them appealing, but considering this show is only going to have eight episodes and we've finished three and have only five left, this might be asking a lot from the audience to stick with it. Inhumans was originally announced to be a film before it was quietly pushed back indefinitely. This series was announced, and the television budget, despite being high thanks to funding from IMAX, begins to show, particularly on Atillan. Nowhere does it feel majestic or imposing. Lockjaw, the giant telepathic teleporting bulldog looks great, but the budget means we only get a few scenes with him. Inhumans seems doomed to get only one season at the moment. Aside from Lockjaw, there's not a lot that I'm excited about for it. The "give it a few episodes" advice doesn't help when we're looking at a small number of episodes. If you wanted the royal Inhumans in live action, check it out. Otherwise, take it as you will. The Gifted - The Strucker family discovers that their children are mutants. In a world where the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants have vanished, the only chance they have is to join with a desperate band of on the run mutants. The pilot sets up a lot and while fine, doesn't quite have enough time to make us totally get into the multiple protagonists. Thankfully, the second and third episodes gives us more of an idea where the showis going and gives us a much better idea of this world. Perhaps this isn't going to be quite as well crafted as Legion, but this seems to be a worthy X-Men TV series so far. Gotham - This season finds young Bruce Wayne beginning to master the double life of playboy socialite and vigilante he will become famous for in his years as Batman as the villains continue to rise. Gotham finally feels on track as "the Batman show without Batman" finally has Batman. Lucifer - Discovering that his wings have come back, Lucifer tries to remove them permanently while continuing to assist (loosely) with detective Chloe Decker's investigations. Tom Welling joins the cast as Lieutenant Marcus Pierce, who seems to be hiding a few things. Supergirl - While Kara misses Mon-El, life continues in National City, for her, Lena Luthor who has bought Cat Co., and Alex and Maggie who are getting married. Reports are that this season will introduce this generation of superhero TV's Legion of Super-Heroes. The Flash - Cisco manages to break Barry out of the Speed Force, revealing him to now be faster than ever before. Caitlin—hiding her Killer Frost identity—rejoins Team Flash as Cisco and Gypsy work on their relationship, as do Barry and Iris as they prepare to get married. Meanwhile, a new villain—the Thinker—watches the pieces of his plot come into place. Legends of Tomorrow - Finding various anomalies through time, the Legends have the Waverider taken from them by Rip Hunter's new time correction force. After getting it back from him, they convince him that they can help him correct anomalies through time. Meanwhile, a mysterious threat rises. Arrow - With Thea in a coma and Oliver now having to care for his son, things take a turn as a photo revealing Oliver as the Green Arrow is exposed to public, putting him under the eye of the FBI. Riverdale - As Archie's dad recovers from being shot at Pop's, the killer begins to target other people in Archie's life. That's what we've been able to tell from the shows so far. Frankly, I'm enjoying this season. Even Inhumans, though I'd say it's quite the weakest show. Here's some quick reviews of comic book movies that came out since the last blog. Wonder Woman - The first truly impressive DCEU movie features the story of Wonder Woman as depicted by Gal Gadot as Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) arrives on the island of Themyscira and tells the Amazons about World War I. Diana returns with him to find and defeat Ares, the God of War. Wonder Woman finally gives the DCEU an inspirational hero. Henry Cavill's Superman and Ben Affleck's Batman are promising, but their outings so far have rendered them as flawed without really having a victory without a major downside. In Man of Steel, while saving the world, about half of Metropolis is destroyed. In Batman v Superman, Batman makes the wrong judgement call and Superman is killed. Diana sets out to destroy Ares and even though she makes mistakes, she learns and emerges victorious. And it's done with a very good pace and amazing visuals. And furthermore, the message the movie makes is pretty welcome. Spider-Man: Homecoming - The first MCU Spider-Man solo film embraces the high school setting of Peter Parker's (Tom Holland) early years in his career as Spider-Man, being secretly assisted/monitored by Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) and Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau). Peter comes across the weapons-running gang of the Vulture (Michael Keaton). Tony and Happy tell him to let someone else handle it, but Peter wants to prove himself. Just he needs to do that and balance his school life, especially if he wants to impress Liz (Laura Harrier). Homecoming is a lot of fun, but also uses some good intrigue to the proceedings with a worthy plot twist. The film clearly links to the larger MCU, but manages to create a world specifically for Spider-Man to exist in on the streets and neighborhoods of Queens. Giving Spider-Man a benefactor and a confidant (who is not a romantic interest) gives us something new that we haven't seen in any of the five previous Spider-Man films from the past twenty years. For once, Spider-Man feels like a young kid. He screws up, but he gets up and tries again. That's really what the character is about and Homecoming nails it. Batman and Harley Quinn - One of this year's DC animated movies finds Batman (Kevin Conroy) and Nightwing (Loren Lester) teaming up with a reformed Harley Quinn (Melissa Rauch) to foil the plots of Poison Ivy (Padget Brewster) and the Floronic Man (Kevin Michael Richardson). It goes for a bit more of a comedic take on Batman mythos while not betraying the characterizations. Some of the humor is a bit more raunchy, including a scene where Nightwing and Harley have sex. Overall, I had fun, but some fans have expressed displeasure. Batman vs. Two-Face - The follow up to The Return of the Caped Crusaders finds Harvey Dent (William Shatner) entering the world of the Batman 1966 TV show. After an attempt to drain Gotham's worst of their evil goes awry, Harvey is transformed into the villainous Two-Face, with Batman (Adam West) and Robin (Burt Ward) going after him. Both Julie Newmar and Lee Meriweather do voice work for the movie as well. Although still campy, the film feels a bit more serious than the old TV show, but it's all right as the audience for the show has changed and is more open to it. It has a good story, fairly good animation (it's still direct to video), and a spectacular voice cast. http://dlvr.it/Pwxkyj